#and i’ve listened to these songs a very normal amount (translation: they will likely be in my top ten for the 2024 wrapped)

[celestial-toys]

been laying here listening to Lucky by Dermot Kennedy on loop for half an hour while thinking about Everything Stays and crying

[johaerys-writes]

Get to know me

I was tagged by @baejax-the-great, thank you so much pal! 

Share your wallpaper: My phone background for the past six months or so has been the same Patrochilles art that I'm actually not sure if I should post here without permission from the artist lol. But I can confirm that it's the cutest, most loveliest drawing of them, and Achilles looks so baby in it and I love staring at it every time I open up my phone :')

The last song you listened to: Unbound by Asgeir

Currently Reading:  Ten Days That Shook The World by John Reed (don't ask why or how, but my autistic Special Interest of choice for the past 2-3 weeks has been the political intrigue surrounding WWI and how it fuelled the October Revolution so I've been reading any book/watching any documentary I can get my hands on about it), and I've also been listening to The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath while doing chores and stuff

Last Movie: Everything Everywhere All at Once with @baejax-the-great

Craving: Travel :|

What are you wearing right now: My fluffiest house robe and my fluffy slippers and super comfy and soft socks, and yes I'm still in pyjamas 

How tall are you: 167 cm, no idea how that translates in feet and inches lol don't make me google it

Piercings: I have one piercing in each ear, I've often thought about getting more but needles be scary 

Tattoos: 6, and planning to finish my half sleeve by the end of the year

Glasses? Contacts?: Glasses, and I do sometimes wear contacts as well

Last drink: I am currently drinking some lukewarm coffee with oat milk :3

Last show: In the past couple years I've become so bad with starting shows and actually sticking with them lol, but I did do a rewatch of Neon Genesis Evangelion fairly recently..... OH and I watched Interview with the Vampire with @baejax-the-great a little while back which was super fun!! (because apparently I can't watch something unless I can shit talk or go feral over it with Bae LOL)

Last thing you ate: Toast with peanut butter and an apple

Favourite colour: Oooh that's such a hard question to answer!! The first colour that comes to mind is blue -- I always gravitate towards some version of blue, and currently it's deep navy blue, but I also own a lot of powder blue stuff. It's either that or baby pink or cream tbh, but I also own a good amount of gold/mustard things as well. Yellow makes me happy. I find jewel green incredibly pretty though I weirdly don't own anything of that colour (which reminds me I should perhaps make that a priority)

Current obsession: I'm guessing this is a fandom related question, so I'm going to be predictable and say that I'm, as usual, obsessed with Patrochilles and most of the other pairings I am currently writing, even though anxiety over real life stuff hasn't let me engage with them as much as I want lately. I do think about them a lot and have lots of ideas for new stories, and I'm also working my way back into catching up with fics I love, which I haven't been able to do in a while despite the joy it normally gives me. Brains can be very uncooperative at times, but what can you do about it lol. 

Unrelated Obsession: As I mentioned earlier I have been obsessed with Russian and generally European politics of the early 20th century for some weird ass reason lmao, but I've also been reading an in-depth analysis of Aeschylus' life and work I found in some corner of my library, which led me to looking up some academic papers about it, which led me to signing up for an online course about Athenian tragedy, so um?? I don't know what it is with me and going down those endless rabbit holes lately ahah. 

Any pets: I have a cat, aka a baby and a bastard and a devil spawn all wrapped in one (he is currently sleeping like an angel after attempting to tear down the curtains)

Do you have a crush on anyone: Um. Like, on a real life person? A fictional person? I do have crushes on several of my mutuals so if y'all are reading it I'm kissing you on the forehead MWAH

Favourite fictional character: I can't choose, don't make me choose!!!!!!! I can't choose between my children. But if I had to choose then maybe.... Patroclus? But also, Achilles? But also, my OC Tristan Trevelyan and Dorian Pavus from DA? But also Shiro and Keith from VLD? But also -- SEE, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE TO CHOOSE

The last place you traveled: It feels like it's been SO long since I've traveled anywhere. I went to Aegina island last summer but since then I haven't been outside the city for even a DAY and it's been driving me crazy. I just need to see some green and blue and listen to nothing but birds or waves or the wind (at this point I'll even take the rooster that woke me up EVERY DAMN MORNING when I was in Aegina lmao). I'm planning on going on a day trip to Mycenae soon though so I'm very excited about that 😄

Tagging forth to @in-arlathan, @mogwaei, @tessa1972, @aymayzing, @inquisitoracorn, @tevivinter, @elveny, @pikapeppa, @petrowriting @peggy-sue-reads-a-book @juliafied, @vimlos, @gloriesunsung, @figsandphiltatos, @gwensparlour, @glimmerofgold, @sabino-sea, and so many more of my mutuals that I'm actually too shy to tag here. But seriously if you're reading this and it looks fun please do it and tag me, I'm nosy and I want to know everything about you LOL  

[born-to-lose]

Shiraz Lane - "We are a family"

Translation of this interview under the cut

The five musicians from the Finnish hard rock band Shiraz Lane have already achieved a lot: They’ve performed in Japan, Canada as well as at numerous Finnish summer festivals, including Tuska, and in August, they’re going to play their very first gig in Germany at Wacken Open Air – and all that without any support from a label. What is the young quintet’s formula for success? We met singer Hannes Kett and drummer Ana Willman, both equipped with a healthy amount of self-confidence, in Helsinki after their Tuska show on 27 June 2015 and sounded them out a little.

NEGAtief: Did you enjoy your gig at Tuska today?

Hannes: Yes, we’ve never been here before and I’ve also never seen any bands play live here. Basically, this is my first time – so I just lost my virginity. [laughs]

NEGAtief: You’ve never been here privately either?

Hannes: No! But I like it here. Tuska is one of the festivals in Finland that stand for metal, which is why it’s funny to play here as a hard rock band. But even if we’re a hard rock band, a couple of bald guys raised their fists and roared during our show – that’s exactly what it’s about.

NEGAtief: Shiraz Lane seems to be becoming more and more popular. You’ve already played in Japan and Canada! How does it feel to suddenly spot your own faces in magazines?

Ana: Of course, it feels great that the band is growing and we’re personally developing, but in the end, it’s only about making good music for us, even if we find ourselves in magazines and at the big festivals. The reason why we make music won’t change because of that. It’s only about the music itself and it’s good that we haven’t changed as people.

Hannes: It’s always all about the music. At the same time, I find it amusing to spot my face in magazines because then I know that other people are going to see our faces too and then they’re maybe going to start listening to our music. Either they like it or not.

NEGAtief: How did the band get together? Do you know each other from school days?

Hannes: Ana and I are childhood friends.

Ana: We used to live next to each other and were already good friends back then. Then the years went by and we decided to form a band. We found Miki via the Internet and Jani, our other guitarist used to go to the same school as me.

Hannes: And then about a year ago, Joel joined the band. Before that, we had had a different bassist for four years and then a friend helped us out for about six months. But when Joel showed up, we had the feeling that the family had finally gotten together. Now we simply do what we want to do: great music and shows!

NEGAtief: Since you’re not known in Germany yet, how would you describe yourselves and your music?

Hannes: We’re a hard rock band with a message. And we’re definitely not an ordinary hard rock band.

NEGAtief: Which means?

Hannes: Some people will certainly take a little time. First, they’ll wonder: “What the hell is that?” And then they’ll either love or hate us. But that’s okay for us because many people like our music. And if you don’t like it, that’s just how it is.

NEGAtief: How does a Shiraz Lane song normally come into being? Do all of you write songs?

Ana: There’s not a default process. I mean, it can start with a simple drumbeat and then someone just jams with me. And suddenly we have a good riff for a song and complete it together. But it can also begin with a tune and we build a song around that. But in general, we pretty much write the songs together. We just jam spontaneously and everything develops from there. There’s no single composer. Of course Hannes is responsible for the lyrics and tunes.

Hannes: I generally see music as a canvas for jamming. We create the canvas and then we simply paint what we like. That’s how it works!

Ana: Actually, it’s funny when the songs are born during jam sessions. Then when we have a riff and I play a certain drum rhythm, it could be that somebody suggests a different drum pattern. Then I just refine that and the others also continue writing their parts. In a way, it’s similar to a conversation when we “jam together” a song. I’m very happy with this strategy.

Hannes: At the same time, we’re very close to each other, in a way, we’re “one”. That’s how we always know what the other guys are going to play. That’s really strange and sometimes even scares me because I, for instance, know exactly what Jani is going to play. This way, I can adjust my singing to it…

Ana: We can read each other’s minds. [laughter]

NEGAtief: It seems you’re a democratic band…

Hannes: Yeah, everybody is in charge. If someone doesn’t like something, we do everything to make sure that everyone is happy eventually.

Ana: It is weird to say that our band is democratic because many bands believe that democracy doesn’t work in a group. If everybody has different views, you could under no circumstances bring those together. That’s nonsense! But since the five of us are so similar, we don’t really get into fights. We rarely have to make compromises.

Hannes: The solution we find at the end of the day will always be the best for the band and make everyone happy. That’s just how it is. If there were only one or two persons who write the songs, they would all sound the same. We don’t want that. We want to be different. We simply aren’t just a normal hard rock act.

Ana: There’s a piece of every band member’s soul in all our songs.

NEGAtief: Your first EP is called “Be The Slave Or Be The Change” – that sounds like a political statement. What inspires you while you’re writing lyrics, Hannes?

Hannes: I draw my inspiration from the world around me. And if you take a look at the world, you only see hate, greed and sadness – that makes me just as sad. I want that people fucking wake up and realize that we can change everything – we just have to want it. Then, however, I found out that there are also people who are happy with the world as it is. I don’t get that! But it’s always been like that…

NEGAtief: We’ll never understand it…

Hannes: No, we won’t understand it. My lyrics just flow out of me and sometimes I miss out on sleep because of that. I’m not someone who sleepwalks, but someone who „writes in his sleep”! I think I write differently than singers normally do – along the lines of “I have a song and I’m going to write the lyrics for it now”. Since I write down my own thoughts, my lyrics are more like a diary. Everything I write about is somehow related to me in the end.

NEGAtief: So you never have the music lying before you and you write suitable lyrics for it?

Hannes: Sometimes, it depends. We’re a little weird regarding that. But in the end, everything will work out, everything is predestined – see Ana’s and my tattoos. [both show their hands with the same tattoo design „Everything is meant to be”]

NEGAtief: Are you already working on a debut album?

Hannes: Yeah, we’re writing songs.

NEGAtief: But you don’t have a record deal yet?

Hannes: We know that this is yet to come… [laughs]

Ana: I think we’re going to release something very soon.

Hannes: We can’t say for sure, but we hope that it will happen in the coming year.

NEGAtief: You’ve already released three music videos. Is it more fun or more work to create such a video?

Hannes: There’s a lot of work behind it, but at the same time, it’s a lot of fun. Of course, it’s stressful to finish everything, but as soon as you begin filming, it starts to be fun because we can do whatever we want. And Joel, our bassist, designed the amazing artwork for the EP and is also responsible for the videos. Furthermore, we must thank a friend for lending us a helping hand in the making of the „Mental Slavery” video. But the good thing is: We have a vision and can do everything we like.

Ana: Everything we’ve done so far – the album artwork and the music videos included – has been executed by ourselves to 100 per cent. The music videos were filmed, directed and cut by our bassist Joel.

Hannes: When he joined the band, the ball started rolling…

Ana: We have our own ideas and have had a lot of fun so far, even if it’s much more work to take matters into our own hands. In return, you don’t have a director who tells you what to do. And I think that’s one of the reasons why the music videos turned out so good. I, for one, am very happy with them – especially with the new video for “Mental Slavery”.

NEGAtief: The videos generally look very professional…

Hannes: Yes, they do. And you can see a progress: From “Out There Somewhere” to “Money Talks” to “Mental Slavery”, the videos are becoming better and better. Additionally, we’re going to film a video for “Behind The 8-Ball”. We just don’t know when yet. We already have a couple of ideas, but we have no idea when we’ll find the time for the execution. We’re also filming sequences for the song „Story To Tell” at the moment.

Ana: The „Story To Tell” video will even be released before the “Behind The 8-Ball” video – probably in late August.

NEGAtief: After Wacken?

Ana: Yes, after Wacken! We also have to film some of our live shows. We want to tell a story about our life and show who we are: a bunch of hippies! [laughter]

NEGAtief: Your very first gig in Germany is actually going to take place at this year’s Wacken Open Air. How does that feel?

Hannes: At first, we thought: Holy shit! That’s like a dream come true! We’re speechless and don’t know what will expect us. We’re just going to turn up and rock hard.

Ana: It’s incredible!

NEGAtief: Are you nervous?

Hannes: Nervous? No, not at all, just really excited.

Ana: We’ve known for a week now that we’re playing at Wacken and we’re still overwhelmed.

NEGAtief: Have you been in Germany privately before?

Hannes: I’ve been at the Oktoberfest. My father loves beer, so he showed me that part of life. [laughs] I was 15 back then and didn’t drink beer and I’m glad I didn’t. But we’ll return there with the band. We’ll do everything together. We are a family. We don’t only play gigs and practice together, but we also hang out together and do everything we like.

NEGAtief: In September, you‘re touring Finland with Santa Cruz. How did this come about?

Hannes: We’re friends with the band. And I’d say we have a similar fanbase. Some of their fans know us and some of our fans know Santa Cruz. So why not? I’m sure the shows are all going to be sold out.

NEGAtief: What else are your plans for this weekend? Are you going to enjoy the Tuska festival?

Ana: Yeah, we want to see Alice Cooper tomorrow.

Hannes: …and maybe Stratovarius… and Ana wants to see In Flames today.

Ana: Yes, I want to see In Flames and Amorphis.

[ddarker-dreams]

🎀 scarlet ribbons.

ITS SELF INDULGENT FRIDAY BOIS !! time for scarlet ribbons headcanons that i’ve been working on in between commissions, this is essentially just a reverse harem ...  there’s no yandere here for once, just some vibes... click here for an explanation ! the reader described here is the same in all the scenarios. i’m using she/her pronouns for this reader.

Bruno Bucciarati;

He forms a special kind of attachment to you, seeing as you’ll be the second person to join his team. You won over his compassionate heart, preventing a much crueler fate. As a foreign exchange student, you had taken out a loan with Passione to complete your education. The problem is, the egregious amount of interest being too much for you to pay back on time. Bucciarati had been ordered to collect your debt. Instead of following through with his orders, he used his favor with Polpo to let you pay back your debt by working for Passione under his leadership.

Appreciates the dynamic and resolve you bring to the group. While he tries his best not to show favoritism to any members of his team, you’re someone he always looks out for extra much. Not because he thinks of you incapable, but because his care for you runs deep after knowing you for years. He’s definitely going to catch onto the others holding similar feelings for you though.

Acts a bit different towards you in one on one scenarios, versus when the others are around. He’s more relaxed when it’s only the two of you, speaking of matters not relating to work and checking up on your well being. Bruno realizes he could listen to you for hours, enjoying your unique perspective. He also finds your foreign accent endearing, and has mentioned it to see how you blush at the compliment.

Super sweet with you, always has looked out for your best interest. He’s your go to when you feel stressed about your situation, providing the support you need, since he’s the only person aware of your circumstances. Bruno is reassuring, helping you in the moments the debt to the organization feels impossible to overcome. He’s offered to help pay for part of it, but you always refuse, feeling grateful enough to him as is. It pains him to see you hurting, but he does anything he can to make you feel better. Always pays for your meals though, no matter how much you raise a fuss about it. 

Giorno Giovanna;

There’s a certain warmth in you that he wasn’t sure what to think of at first. Giorno is an astute individual, making observations from afar, watching you joking and smiling with the rest of the team. He eventually comes to the conclusion that your presence fills his stomach with butterflies, seeing your more lighthearted approach to life. There’s something intoxicating about it, and he’ll jump for any opportunity to spend time with you much to the annoyance of everyone else, they already had enough competition wtf.

He’s a coy little shit at times. Giorno sees how the others look at you, especially how obvious Narancia and Mista are. When they get defensive over how much Giorno is talking to you, he’ll just flash a faux innocent smile and ask what the problem with it is. It’s more effective on Narancia, who just ends up sputtering before slinking away in defeat. Mista can kinda deflect the accusation better, though there’s still a blush on his face. Giorno knows what he’s doing lmaoo

It infuriates Abbacchio how obvious he is with you, like, the audacity of this man. Just swinging into Bucciarati’s team, trying to woo you away. Giorno is always asking for your opinion on how to proceed with certain things, even if his mind has already been made up. Anything just to talk to you. Most likely going to receive Abbacchio’s scorn the most for this, especially since Giorno will lean closer to you when you’re answering his questions. Giorno is just going :) , meanwhile Narancia is furiously taking notes. (”Okay, so if I ask [First] about this, I have an excuse to get closer to her...!)

He did strongly in school, maybe not as well as Fugo but is definitely academically gifted. So that means when he enters the picture, Fugo has some Competition for the English speaking buddy role. Giorno can understand most simple phrases and is capable of following the conversation, occasionally interjecting when he feels confident enough. Fugo might try and make his conversations with you more complicated because of this, since he’s petty and wants all your attention. You’re meant to be his English speaking buddy >:( !!

To be honest, Giorno’s not really sure what he’s doing, despite the suave impression he gives. Giorno has charisma, sure, but this is all very new to him. He’s still learning as he goes, and pays very close attention to how everyone else interacts with you. Anything to see your preferences, so he can use it to his advantage later. Has a large mental file on you, that comes in handy. He isn’t so much flirty, but more seeking out your company and thoughts on things.

Guido Mista;

Poor Mista almost friendzones himself in a way... he doesn’t mean to, but he wants to warm up to you in his own way!! And that way is through joking around and a lot of “friendly” banter. The friendly banter is more like thinly veiled flirting. He tries so hard to act cool and mysterious around you, like a Clint Eastwood character. Ends up being super goofy, though it works in his favor since he gets to see your cute smile!!! Victory!! 

Mista has no shame. He’ll show up outside your apartment, food in hand, saying he wants to come over and hang. He even lets you pick the movie if that’s what you want to do!! A true honor, since Mista is willing to sit through stuff he wouldn’t normally be interested in all for the sake of winning you over. <33 

Probably tied with Narancia for the most Unfortunate Mishaps to occur when attempting to woo you. Some favorites include, but are not limited to: when he tried giving you flowers but they kept making him sneeze, that time he was leaning against your door frame and fell over, and basically anything that happens when the Pistols come out. They wanna be his lil wing men, but they keep screwing him over... :< 

“[First]!! [First]!! We’re bored, come hang out with us instead!!!!” You’ll end up with a flurry of Pistols swirling around you very often, putting Mista’s affection for you on full display. It irritates Fugo the most, he almost wants to smack them away like they’re flies lmao. They might start sweatin’ when they see Fugo’s eyebrow twitch, the Stand often interrupting your conversations with the blonde. Mista tests his patience for sure. 

Pannacotta Fugo;

A bit of a typical tsun towards you at first. He’s all acting high and mighty, huffing about the newest member of the team not being as bright as him. In reality he just thinks you’re vvv cute, and doesn’t know how to process it. You greet him and his brain just kinda short circuits, and he gives a standoffish insult before running off to hide his blush. Bruno would find it endearing if not for his feelings for you lmao.

How he gets over this initial stump at the start of your relationship is by acting like you need his help. Especially if you stumble over any Italian words, namely Naples lingo being more difficult to master. He takes it upon himself to help you out... in reality he just really wants to spend more time with you. Also, seeing you stumble over words is precious, he tries not to tease you about it though. Does occasionally...

You end up being roommate at the start!!! To save money, but it’s whatever, who cares about the practical reasoning behind it. What matters is that he gets to spend even more time with you than the others. The problem is that Narancia and Mista make a point to come by often, which he finds to be very irritating. They even crash at your shared apartment at times, but because of how messy they are, don’t get an invitation to live permanently. Fugo is smug about how you picked him due to his cleanliness >:)c

English speaking buddies !! He might not be fluent in it, but he’s better at it than everyone else. Also a lot more capable of learning it, just for the sake of impressing you. Gets this very pleased look on his face when you two speak in simple English, Narancia staring over, pouting for being left out. It’s like a special connection or something, not that Fugo would ever admit to saying that to you. He’s flexing his academic muscles. 

Narancia Ghirgha;

Anyone could look over at Narancia and see his huge heart eyes for you. You like the same foreign music as him!! You can speak another language!! He wants to learn English from you, and keeps asking. Sometimes butchers the pronunciation but god it’s so cute who cares. Teach Narancia one phrase and he’s gonna be saying it nonstop for the rest of the week. Fugo, the only other member to understand English on a decent level until GioGio, is gonna be miserable whenever this happens. That’s his thing with you! Why can’t Narancia get something else, smh ...

If you recommend him a song he will not stop listening to it. Also expect a lot of discussions about different artists, mostly hip hop ones when Narancia is leading the conversation. He thinks it’s so cool you understand what they’re saying!! Is gonna ask you to translate them a lot. He kinda just stares at you, mouth agape when you’re singing along, like woah!! His crush is so talented. 

His most treasured moments with you, is when you recommend one another music, and share headphones. Sometimes you just bob your head to the rhythm, or sing along. Whatever the case, he gets to be close to you, and his brain is practically turning to mush at the fact your thighs are touching. 

Fugo did him dirty once in the past. Before Narancia realized he had Competition for your affections, he went to Fugo, asking how to compliment you in English. He should’ve known by how Fugo was staring at him with the most malicious smirk that he made a mistake. The next day, when meeting up at Libeccio, he came up to you. Chest puffed out, proud after a night of practicing his phrase. Then proceeded to say to you in English, “I am a fucking idiot!!!!” looking all smiley and excited. Needless to say, you almost spit out your food and laughed about it for a long time. Narancia has been planning his revenge on Fugo ever since...

Narancia follows you around like a lost puppy at times, but he’s a lot of fun to hang out around!! He’ll buy you gelato, and even lets you have a bite of his food if you ask. No one else has this special privilege. There is a time you offered to let him try a sip of your drink, and he almost melted. All his brain could think of is, indirect kiss, indirect kiss!!!! One of the best moments of his life tbh. 

Leone Abbacchio;

Abbacchio put a lot of effort into distancing himself from you. Why do you smile so much?? It makes him uncomfortable being around you, someone who is basically sunshine stuffed into a human body. It reminds him of all his shortcomings, which he feels he has no shortage of. But when you make the initially irritating decision to keep speaking to him, only giving space when you felt he really needed it, it won over his little grinch heart. 

He’s been wrapped around your finger ever since. Unlike the other bumbling buffoons who are tripping over themselves to get an ounce of your attention, he plays it cool. More of a Bucciarati approach to things. Asking about your interests, letting you do most of the talking so he has no chance to embarrass himself (like *cough* Narancia *cough*).

Next to Fugo, is most likely to call other members out on their nonsense. He wouldn’t dare do so for Bruno, but everyone else is fair game. The main victim to this treatment is Giorno. Abbacchio might even offer some “advice” to him, giving false information all under the guise of assisting Giorno’s pursuit of you. He takes a more hands off approach on everyone else. 

He doesn’t want to invite you over to his place because of how dreary it is, so he has to find other ways to get one on one time with you. This mostly happens by talking about things no one else finds of interest to you, namely makeup or other fashion things. 

You are the only person who gets to call him any nicknames, the one you lean towards typically being Abba. Narancia once made a mistake of calling him this, only to earn a very threatening glare. When you do it though, he has to push down the urge to smile. How cute!! 

Trish Una;

Gay rights time . Trish looks at you and immediately thinks wow, perfect girlfriend material right there. Still acts a bit reserved at first, considering her complex situation and how she’s still piecing it all together in her heard. Since you’re the only other girl on the team, she gets the benefit of Bucciarati assigning you to be extra close to her. All according to plan heheh >:) 

When she flirts, she goes all in. Asking about what kind of perfume you wear, your favorite shade of lipstick, what kind of outfits you like the most. All of it is under the pretense of getting to know you better, and while she does enjoy that aspect of it, she might start adopting some of the things you find appealing. She is 100% gonna ask to borrow your shirts and makeup, and extends the same offer to you. 

Trish is far more playful with you than the others, who all just kinda stare at the interactions like ??? When you were her bodyguard, she always subconsciously went to sit down next to you. No one else on the team can say anything, since she’s the boss’ daughter after all !! She considered you more of a distraction from her anxiety inducing situation at first, seeing as you had shared interests to speak about. Over time, your doting nature over her won out. 

Would be pissed if you ever got hurt trying to defend her. You might joke around about how you’re her bodyguard, not the other way around. Trish just can’t bear the thought of losing someone important to her, after all she’s already lost. 

Her phone background is a selfie the two of you took, even after she eventually distances herself from Passione to advance her singing career. Expect lots of texts messages, checking up on how you’re doing!! Trish unfortunately has a busy schedule, that requires a lot of traveling for her concerts and other bookings. Though anytime she is near Naples, she’s messaging you and asking to meet up. <33 

[avatarofsimp]

What the brothers do when you cry

Lucifer

Is taken by surprise for a second before he composed himself

Very professional a out it to begin with

"is there anything I can do to help?"

Feels bad because he doesn't know what to say since he's used to discipline and not comfort

Silently pulls you into a hug and lets you cry into his shirt

"Everything will be okay, don't worry, I'm here."

Softly stroking your hair and wiping the tears from your cheeks with his thumb

When you eventually calm down he lets you stay with him for a while to do whatever you want - whether that's talk or just silently be with each other

Checking up on you regularly after this

Mammon

"Hey, MC! What're ya- Uh... Um..."

Awkwardly bursts into your room while you're crying into a pillow, not sure what to do

"Come on... It can't be that bad..."

Lots of awkward laughing and scratching the back of his neck

Sits down on your bed with you but doesn't come any closer than that

Rambling on about random things to try to distract you from whatever was making you sad

Absolutely beams when he manages to make you laugh at something

"Want to talk about what happened? Or should I just keep talking?"

Is willing to do anything he has to to make you feel better

Ends up cuddling you until you fall asleep, running his fingers through your hair to comfort you as much as he can

Levi

Very empathetic towards you but also so hopelessly clueless that it doesn't translate

Offers to let you watch him play games or to pick an anime to watch together

"I'm not really sure what to do right now..."

Keeps glancing at you silently

Wordlessly grabs your hand while you're watching TV with him and rubs his thumb over your knuckles

You can literally feel him shaking and see his blush from the contact but he does it anyway

"I know you'd probably prefer someone else but I am here for you..."

Is startled when you suddenly hug him but is also quick to hug you back, as tight as he can

"It's okay, MC."

Asmo

"Oh, honey... What's happened?"

Immediately pulls you into a tight hug, trying to stop you from shaking

Bombards you with distractions such as face masks and nail polish

Sings your favourite songs quietly to you to help you calm down

"Come here, Sweetie, it's okay."

Tells you the latest gossip as a distraction to whatever's upset you

Asks if you want to talk about it and is the best listener if you say yes

Respects your decision if you don't want to talk about it and keeps trying to distract you

Runs you a hot bath with all of his best products

No flirting at all, only trying to make you feel better

Satan

"Who hurt you?"

Demon form comes out immediately as he tries to figure out who he has to hurt

You have to stop him from doing anything stupid before explaining why you're actually sad

Watches you sadly as you talk through the tears and pulls you into a tight hug when you're done

"I understand, you're safe with me, I won't let anything hurt you anymore."

Leads you to the library so he can read to you

Let's you sit in his lap and cuddle him while he reads, hoping the closeness will comfort you

You listen to his heartbeat as you slowly fall asleep to the sound of his voice

Beel

Doesn't realise to begin with

"Hey, MC, we still on for tonight?"

His face drops when he hears you sniffle or sees the tears on your face and he immediately comes to your side

Has a completely different side to normal when he realizes you aren't okay - a complete softy

"What's happened, you can trust me."

Holds your hand as you try to calm down and tell him what's wrong

Listens carefully as you tell him everything

"Come on, let's go get some fresh air."

Gives you his jacket so you don't get cold and keeps holding your hand while you walk around the garden and talk it out

You end up spending hours together sitting outside talking, even after you've calmed down

Belphie

"What is it?"

Seems blunt and harsh but just wants to know who he has to confront

Drags you to the attic so that you can be alone together

Randomly leaves for a moment, returning with an insane amount of pillows and blankets, Beel bringing snacks behind him

You end up having a movie marathon with the two, watching your favourite human movies even though they don't understand them

Belphie holds you close while you watch the movies, drawing small circles on your back with his fingers to calm you down

You get distracted by all the questions they ask about the movies

(trying something new...)

Diavlo

"Hi, MC!"

Greets you cheerfully as always until he realizes you came to him in tears

Falls back slightly as you hug him suddenly but welcomes the affection

Runs your back while whispering soothing words into your ear

"What's happened, princess?"

Nods and hums while he listens so that you know he's following along

"Come, you can stay here tonight, I'll have Barbatos fetch all of your favourite things."

Completely and unnecessarily pampers you

Won't leave your side for one minute even when you reassure him that you're fine

"Who made you feel this way? I'll have them dealt with."

Goes unecesarily far to make sure you feel okay

Reveals a new side to himself that you didn't expect, letting you stay with him all night just so that you are good

Barbatos

"I'll kill whoever did this to you."

"WHAT THE FUCK BARB NO!"

As soon as you mention any names he's already out the door ready to interrogate them

"Barb sTOP-"

He calms down eventually and lets you just be with him, doing what he can to help

Offers you herbal teas that are known to increase serotonin production and chocolates

"Whatever is wrong will pass, you will be okay."

Knows exactly the right things to say to reassure you that everything will be okay

Simeon

"Oh, MC, it hurts to see you like this."

Stays with you and reassures you that you're okay

Let's you vent to him

"I understand why you feel this way."

Does everything he can to ensure you don't feel alone

Is reluctant to touch you to begin with until you lower your head and he wraps his arms around your shoulders

Stays with you for as long as you need until you feel better

Luke

Doesn't know how to comfort you so he tries to distract you instead

"Do you want to bake with me?"

Doesn't push you to do anything you don't want to

Even if you say no he bakes you some cookies anyway to cheer you up

"I have some DVDs we could watch if you want?"

Feels to awkward to hug you but offers you tissues and blankets instead

"is there anything I can get you? Anything at all?"

Is tempted to go get Simeon to help but doesn't want to leave you alone

Solomon

"What the fuck?"

Is taken aback because he has only ever known you to be strong and resilient

"It's okay, we all have to be like this sometimes, it's only natural"

Understand you on a deeper level since you're the only humans in the Devildom

Refuses to leave your side until he makes you smile

Shows you all of his books and equipment since he knows they interest you, and if you're lucky he lets you try to use some

Makes jokes all day to try and make you laugh

"I know I've been joking but honestly, I'm always here for you, MC, whatever you need."

Gives you a tight hug before he leaves and sends you messages all night long

[fuckallthegood0nesweretaken]

Echuio CH. One

Movie - Unexpected Adventure

Title: The Meeting

Words: 2057

Warnings: Memory Loss

Translations: Vaen - Beautiful 

A/N: This is chapter one of my Fili X Reader series! It will follow the same plot as the Hobbit movies/book but with a twist. Echuio means awaken in Sindarin so do with that information what you will. Enjoy!

Next Chapter

Echuio Masterlist

Fili Durin Masterlist

Book Masterlist

Masterlist

~~~~~~~

Waking up on a dirt road with someone staring at you intently wasn’t the best way to go about it. Your eyes went wide and you were frozen in fear. A whimper escaped your lips and the man backed away slightly.

 “Who are you? Where am I?” Fear was evident in your voice and the man took notice of it right away.

 “My name is Gandalf. You’re in the woods just outside of the Shire.”

 “Shire? I’ve never heard of that.”

 “Where are you from, Miss-?” Gandalf’s voice was kind and even though you were scared, you just knew that you could trust him.

 “My name’s [y/n],” you said. “And I can’t remember where I’m from.” You stood up before taking a step back.

 “You don’t remember?”

 “N-No.” You shook your head and Gandalf tilted his head slightly. You had a feeling he knew something about you but before you could ask, he said something.

 “You’re about as tall as a Hobbit, Miss [y/n]. But you are not one.”

 “I’m not a Hobbit. I don’t even know what a Hobbit is!” You were starting to panic and Gandalf furrowed his brows.

 “Do not worry. I will try to help you get your memories back,” Gandalf said.

 “You’ll help me?” You asked, tears on the brim of falling down your cheeks.

 “I can try.” Gandalf looked at you, lips muttering something in a language you didn’t recognize, before looking at the horizon. “Come with me.”

 “Where are we going?”

 You followed him, your legs trying to keep up.

 “I believe you were brought here for a reason. Something is just about to start and I think you are supposed to be a part of it.”

 ---

 You followed Gandalf and he told you about the quest he was endorsing. He could tell that you didn’t want to go on the adventure, but you didn’t say anything out loud.

 Soon, he had introduced you to about half of the Dwarves that were going to conquer Erebor. Despite your worries, you had made fast friends with Bofur, the two of you talking all the way back to the Shire.

 Gandalf had led the group to the top of a hill and Bofur rang the doorbell to the home built into the hill-face. You could hear someone yelling on the inside and when the owner of the voice opened the door, all of the Dwarves fell into a heap inside the house. You stifled a laugh as the Dwarves all groaned and looked up to see who you thought must be Bilbo.

 “Hello,” you said, giving him a small wave. He glanced at you before locking eyes with Gandalf.

 “Gandalf,” he said tiredly.

 The Dwarves let themselves in after getting up from the ground and started raiding the poor Hobbit’s pantry. Gandalf told you that Bilbo was a Hobbit and you weren’t pleased to find out that he was taller than you. You may be as big as a Hobbit, but they weren’t big to begin with.

 As the Dwarves wreaked havoc, you stood off to the side, observing everything. One by one, the Dwarves took food out of the pantry and put it on the table in the dining room. After a minute, a Dwarf you hadn’t met yet came up to you.

 “I don’t believe we’ve met,” he said. He gave you a smile and bowed slightly. “I’m Fili.”

 “I’m [y/n].” Your eyes met his blue ones and you could feel your cheeks heating up.

 “Supper’s ready. Would you like to join us?”

 “S-Sure,” you said. He held out his hand and you took it.

 Fili led you to the table and took a chair out, letting you sit down and pushed your chair up to the table when you were settled.

 “Thank you.”

 Fili answered you with a wink and you looked down at your lap before reaching for some food. Bofur was on your left, Fili on your right. All throughout dinner, you found yourself laughing and joking. You did feel bad for Bilbo, your eyes widening and pulse quickening when the Dwarves sung their song and did all of the dishes for him. It was only when a booming knock sounded on the door did the giddiness fade away.

 “He is here,” Gandalf said. The two of you made eye contact and you swallowed harshly.

 Gandalf went to open the door but you couldn’t see anything, all of the Dwarves blocking your view. You could hear Thorin speak and you could tell that everyone has great respect for him. Because you couldn’t see him, you decided to get him some food. Soon enough, everyone was back in the dining room and you saw Thorin for the first time.

 “I-I thought you might be hungry,” you said. “There wasn’t much left but I found some soup for you.”

 “Thank you,” Thorin said. He sat down and you noticed there was nowhere to sit and Kili waved you over.

 “Over here,” he said. “You can sit with me.”

 “But there’s no chair.” Confusion laced your voice and Kili just smirked and patted his lap.

 “Don’t listen to him, vaen,” Fili said from beside you. “Take my chair. I’ll go find another.”

 You shook your head, about to speak when Thorin beat you to it. They started talking about the quest Gandalf had told you about. Closing your mouth, you leaned against the wall and listened. Then you heard them mention a dragon.

 “Wait, what’s this about a dragon?” You turned to Gandalf. “You said nothing about dragons!”

 “I didn’t catch your name,” Thorin said.

 “This is [y/n]. I’d like for her to join us on the quest,” Gandalf said. Murmurs spread through the Dwarves and Thorin scoffed lightly.

 “What would another Hobbit bring to the Company?” Thorin asked.

 “I’m not a Hobbit, just as tall as one apparently,” you said. Your hands were on your hips and you glared at Thorin.

 “And I’m an Elf,” Dwalin snorted.

 “She’s telling the truth.” Everyone looked at Gandalf, disbelief on their faces.

 “If it helps, I’ve never seen her before. She also doesn’t have Hobbit feet,” Bilbo said. You lifted up your leg, showing them your shoe-covered feet.

 “Miss [y/n] is here for a reason,” Gandalf said. “I believe that the timing of her coming here was no coincidence and she is supposed to join us on our journey. It will help you and will help her.”

 “Help her with what?” Balin asked.

 “I’ve don’t have many memories,” you said. “I can only remember simple things.”

 “And what can Miss [y/n] offer the Company if she has no memories?” Thorin asked. Everyone turned their eyes towards you and you started fiddling with your fingers.

 “I-I know how to heal,” you said. “I remember that I’m very good at it.”

 “Do you know how to use any weapons?”

 “I know how to shoot a bow. I think,” you said, chewing on the inside of your lip. Thorin stared intently at you before looking at Balin.

 “Draw up a contract for Miss [y/n],” Thorin said.

 Balin nodded and got to work. While he did that, the conversation went on. You listened as they talked and argued, flinching back when everyone started yelling. Thorin shouted something in Dwarvish and everyone went silent immediately.

 “If we have read these signs, others would have read them too,” Thorin said. “Rumors have been spread. Smaug hasn’t been seen for sixty years. Eyes look east to the mountain, assessing, wondering, and weighing the risk. The vast wealth of our people may be lying unprotected. Will we sit back while others take what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor!”

 All of the Dwarves started cheering except for Balin.

 “You forget that the front gate is sealed,” Balin said. “There is no way into the mountain.”

 “My dear Balin, that is not entirely true.” Gandalf twirled a key and you saw surprise light up Thorin’s face.

 “Where did you get this?”

 “It was given to me by your father for safekeeping. By Thrain. It is yours now.”

 The Dwarves were silent, all of them looking at the key with hope on their faces.

 “If there’s a key there has to be a door,” you said quietly.

 “Aye,” Fili said.

 “You’re right. These runes here speak of a hidden passage to the lower halls,” Gandalf said, pointing to the map.

 “There’s another way in,” Kili breathed.

 “Well, if we can find it. Dwarf doors are invisible when closed.” Gandalf sighed. “The answer is somewhere on this map, but I do not have the skill to find it. It’s hidden very well. However, there are others in Middle-Earth who can.”

 Gandalf looked around the room and made eye contact with everyone.

 “The task I have in mind requires a great deal of stealth and no small amount of courage. If we are careful and clever, I believe it can be done.”

 “That’s why we need a burglar,” Ori said.

 “A good one too,” Bilbo said. “An expert I’d imagine.”

 “And are you?” Balin asked.

 “Am I what?”

 “He said he is!” Oin started cheering and some of the Dwarves chuckled.

 “Me? Oh no, no, no. I’m not a burglar. I’ve never stolen a thing in my life, thank you.” Bilbo had an incredulous look on his face.

 “I’m afraid I’ll have to agree with Mr. Baggins. He’s hardly burglar material,” Balin said. Bilbo nodded his head and you crossed your arms.

 “Aye, the wild’s no place for gentle folk who can neither fight or fend for themselves,” Dwalin said. He glanced at both you and Bilbo as he spoke and you narrowed your eyes at him.

 All of the Dwarves started talking at once and when Gandalf had had enough of it, he rose to his full height. It was intimidating, shutting the Dwarves up almost immediately and making your face scrunch slightly.

 “Enough!” Gandalf’s voice boomed. “If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, than a burglar he is.”

 The powerful aura went away and you released a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

 “Hobbit’s are remarkably light on their feet and can pass unseen by most, if they so choose,” Gandalf said, his voice normal again. “And while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of Dwarf, Hobbit is all but unknown to him. That gives us a distinct advantage.”

 After a moment, Thorin nodded and looked at Balin.

 “Give him a contract,” Thorin said. Balin stood up, one contract in each hand.

 “This one’s for Miss [y/n] and this one’s for Mr. Baggins.”

 He handed you a contract and you looked it over silently. You could hear talking, but you were so focused on reading, you only looked up when you heard a thud. Bilbo had fainted and fallen to the floor. You put down the contract and went quickly over to Bilbo.

 “Did he hit his head?” You asked.

 “I don’t think so,” Bofur answered.

 “That’s good. What caused him to faint?”

 “The thought of incineration.” You just rolled your eyes, checking on Bilbo’s pulse. When he started to wake up, you pulled back and smiled at him.

 “How’s your head feeling?” You asked Bilbo. “Does it hurt anywhere?”

 “No. I-I think I just need to sit quietly for a moment.” Bilbo stood up and walked to a different room. That’s when Thorin approached you.

 “You’ve heard of our plans and what can happen if things go wrong. Are you still willing to come with us?” Thorin asked you.

 “I’m not one to believe in fate and destiny, but I do think that my being here isn’t a coincidence. I’ll help you get your home back.” You looked up at him and gave him a smile.

 “Why?”

 “Everyone deserves a home, Thorin. I’ll do what I can to help,” you said with a shrug.

 “I can’t guarantee your safety.”

 “That’s alright. I wouldn’t expect you to. You’ve just met me and you have others to think of first.” With that, you tilted your head and walked away.

 Thorin watched you go, a confused look on his face. There was something about you that seemed so familiar and he couldn’t place it. Shaking his head, Thorin turned his attention elsewhere. It wouldn’t do to dwell on things that hurt his head.

[starlit-pathways]

rules: tag people you would like to know/catch up with❤️

thank you so much @faeinthefog for tagging me, you have such incredible taste???? (as always) also, brb adding piranesi to my already-too-long tbr list

...speaking of lists that are far too long!! *cracks knuckles* let's get down to business!!!!

last song: excluding my many varied writing playlists, then probably eclipse by moonbyul or love poem by iu, including my writing playlists then this was my last listen

last movie: the prom. didn't personally vibe with it but i know it meant a lot to some (personally, i feel like a lot of what it was trying to do has already been done better by other films—like ek ladki ko dekha toh aisa laga). it had very pretty colours in it?? and i definitely wouldn't pass up the chance to play emma in an actual musical, but i feel like the story itself is too much of "aaaaand THIS is how the Gay Struggle™‬ applies to the average straight person!!!" which I don't even mind in a story that's done WELL (again, see ek ladki ko dekha toh aisa laga, or even one of my favourite books; the seven husbands of evelyn hugo) but i don't personally feel like it was done well enough here to pass it off

currently watching: oh no. a LOT. uhhhh okay let's try counting

1) godless—a miniseries on netflix which is v. good and very beautiful; essentially a story about fatherhood, masculinity and the loss/lack of it in a historical "wild west" type setting (it's a lot more diverse than it sounds. i promise.)

2) the fresh prince of bel-air—i shouldn't have to describe this one to many people lol, but it's basically a comedy about a quick-witted, very street-smart boy who goes to live with his very wealthy and privileged family in bel-air. it's very funny, and very heartwarming but i'm only a couple episodes in so far.

3) my mister—i'm only a few episodes into this drama myself but. damn. it's a show about two very broken, wearied people whose lives are falling apart in different ways (a very principled slightly older man, and a very... alternatively principled younger woman), who find each other and help each other heal. i've seen their relationship described as "everything but romantic", though the subject of romance and the nature of their relationship is questioned in the show and sometimes by the two characters

4) taskmaster—this one's just FUN, and also quite honestly pure chaos. i'm trading favourite shows with a friend, and damn if i'm not having a blast with this one. it's basically about a group of comedians who get given a set of tasks/challenges to do, to see who does them best—it has the exact same vibe of the joke "how many comedians does it take to change a lightbulb?". if nobody watches anything else of the show, i implore them to at LEAST watch this tree wizard clip. it's a masterpiece.

5) rick and morty—probably not my favourite type of show (monster of the week's not my usual style), but still good if you're it's intended audience. trading this with another friend, and i'm very much enjoying the experience of trash-talking all of the adult characters every episode with them.

6) mr. iglesias—this one's a very new addition. am also watching it with a friend. comedy about found family in a classroom full of underprivileged kids and the one teacher who really cares about them. i like it! i love marisol a lot as a character and mr. iglesias is very wholesome

re-watching:

7) the untamed—i'm going to be watching this show in some capacity for the rest of my life. i'm on my seventh watch by now and it never diminishes in quality. it's a truly epic introspective character exploration, about a quick-minded, entirely chaotic and very free-spirited man who dies and comes back in quite literally the opening moments of the show. you get to see his descent from being the world's envy to being the world's villain. it's a wonderful fantasy series about perception, the nature of morality, of family (born, raised and chosen) and about building a better world. did i mention that the main character is—as far as chinese censorship laws would allow—very bisexual and the story very heavily features a love story between him and another man? this was the edit that got me into it (it has spoilers but without context it won't make any sense anyway)

8) healer—what a drama. this is all about the power of information—how being informed and making information available can heal a nation that was built to be corrupt. starring a character who is basically a man who is a much poorer batman (kind of like a batman for hire?) with superman's love life (the show's got one of the best and most valid love triangles i've ever seen—and that's coming from somebody who typically HATES love triangles with a burning passion) and a woman who is feisty and strong-willed but not in an overbearing way? as well as amazing action, from somebody who normally can't stand action. i love the chemistry between the two romantic leads and just. i love the three leading characters, and a great deal of the periphery ones a lot. this show is absolutely incredible, would highly recommend

9) it's okay to not be okay/psycho but it's okay—a show that says neurodivergency and found family rights!!!! it's a very healing and introspective drama, but equally very intense/gripping/interesting? the chemistry between the two leads is astounding, and i just really love the amount of empathy this show has? it's truly stunning to watch and experience. starring an absolute badass of a woman, who acts almost entirely on impulse and communicates with the world through storytelling and fairytales, alongside a very kind and nurturing man who doesn't know how to communicate when he's miserable and an autistic man, who struggles deeply with his own fight for independence (i wasn't too sure on him at first, but he grows into just as much of an equally important character as the other two and i loved his arc).

currently reading: the earthsea quartet, by ursula le guin—i'm really loving it! it's probably not one of my favourites (yet), but she has such an interesting way of building up her world, and there's such a strong sense of compassion in every word she writes.

also i've recently found and fallen in love with this fic series. it's very nsfw and modern au's aren't usually my thing for historical (or even semi-historical) fiction/fantasy, but there's just something about sex worker!wei wuxian and translator!(and also secret fashion nerd!)lan wangji both being absolute disasters and also really cute and really repressed but also being neurodivergent and disabled characters (i'm SO here for autistic!lan wangji, traumatised!wei wuxian and chronically ill!yanli all being happy) and getting therapy that really appeals to me.

currently craving: crisps. always. of the salt and vinegar variety (this specific variety especially), of course, but there's never a day that passes when i'm not craving crisps

this was really fun!!! now for the worst part of this............ tagging. OKAY. so... please know that nobody is under any obligation to do, or even acknowledge, this—and also, if i missed you, you see this and you WANT to, then consider the act of seeing/hearing this a formal invitation

@ethereal-sserendipity @lillb5678 @genericfandomusername456 @mars-aria @ikatella @juliedohbigny @multiplequestionmarks @itiredwriter @myrim-anna-rose @gaysofmyheart

[satoshi-mochida]

Tobyfox has provided a status update on the second chapter and beyond of Undertale sequel Deltarune in celebration of Undertale‘s fifth anniversary today.

First, here are the latest screenshots from Deltarune‘s second chapter:

Get the full update below.

Introduction

Hi everyone.

If you’re reading this, you must have been sticking around for about five years.*

I want to express my gratitude for everyone that has supported and encouraged me over this time.

Thank you.

I’ve said it many many times before, but I didn’t expect the simple game I made to receive so much attention. Because of that, many interesting things have happened, and now I can even spend my time making another game.

It seems both of us received a lot of happiness from this occurrence.

If it’s okay, I would like to keep striving to do things that make both of us happy.

Let me know what you think about that.

*Since the Undertale demo released in 2013, the game has really existed for 7 years. It’s already been more than 25% of my life…

Deltarune

I will make another.

I am making a game called “Deltarune.” It is the second game in the Undertale series.

The game will be released in many “Chapters,” the first of which I released two years ago on Halloween. Since that time, I’ve been working hard to figure out the rest of the game.

However, it’s a game that’s much harder to make than Undertale.

Graphics are more complicated and several times more involved.

Systems are more complicated.

Exposes the weak points of my creative and artistic ability.

Plot is much harder to tie together (more characters, more important locations).

Significantly more content than Undertale in one playthrough (especially cutscenes).

I have only made one game ever.

Unlike Undertale, this is the type of game that would normally have many designers working on each aspect of the game.

A story writer, a composer, an audio director, a map designer, a battle designer, a minigame designer, and an overall director. Instead, all of those roles end up handled by me.

The good news is that a few months ago, I completed a significant milestone regarding the game’s design. I completed readable outlines for every chapter in the game, including first-pass dialogue for almost all the cutscenes, examples of the music, etc.

Although certain details are still hazy, the flow of the game and all major events and battles that take place are now clear.

In summary, I largely spent the past two years writing, composing, designing, and drawing. However, that’s not the whole story.

We had actually attempted to develop the game since the time too. Development started around March 2019 and a 99% work was spent on investigating engines alternate to GameMaker, which I used for Chapter 1.

Without getting into the details, I decided a few months ago to go back to GameMaker after all. It still felt like the best fit for the project. So using Chapter 1 as a base, we’ve started creating Chapter 2 since May 2020.

A lot of progress has been made since that time. I believe we can complete this chapter, content-wise, before the end of the year (not accounting for translation, bugtesting, and porting).

I feel very confident. And the strange thing is, even though we ended up using the original engine, I don’t regret the lost time, either. Not only was I still busy designing the game, but during that long period, I was able to think of many ideas that make the game’s story and characters better.

I’m glad that I’m making the Deltarune that I have now and that we are making healthy progress.

Deltarune Status Estimate

■ Chapter 2 (04.15.20 – 08.13.20)

Phase 1: Design

Main Design: 100% (dialogue, etc.)

Initial Setup: 100% (stuff involved setting up people to make the game, adding debug tools, documentation, etc.)

Phase 2: Implementation (05.01.20 ~ 08.13.20)

Art: 90%

Cutscenes: 80% (90% are started, needs 2nd pass)

Bullet Patterns: 70% (enemies are mostly completed, bosses are about 40% done, needs 2nd pass)

Non-Bullet Battle Elements: 30% (Some ACTs are done and enemies are fightable, but interactive ACTs need to be completed and polished and the bosses aren’t programmed outside of bullet patterns)

Audio: 80%

Maps: ??% most are started or placeholder, most need 2nd pass. NPC interactions are completed in all spots where written.

Other: 65%

Phase 3: Finishing

Balancing: 0%

Bugfixing: 0%

Translation: 0%

Porting: 0%

(Honestly, a lot of stuff FEELS like 80% to me, but the truth is that what’s there is quite rough now. Polish ends up taking a lot of time, so the real actual time value may be around 50% done…? We’ll see what happens. It’ll be a lesson for everybody.)

■ Chapters 3 and Beyond

Phase 1: Design

Story and General Game Progression (first-pass): 100%

Cutscene Dialogue (first-pass, lacking cutscene instructions): 95%

Map Design (textual): 70% (varies per chapter, earlier chapters totally completed)

Map Design (drawn): 0% (this takes a lot of wrist energy so I don’t do it until we start programming)

Enemy Design (conceptual): 90% (all bosses are known)

Enemy Design (bullets / visual): 80% (varies per chapter, earlier chapters totally completed)

Music (concept): 95%

Music (completed): 50%

Visual Design:BG Concept (first-pass): 75%, Important Character, Bosses (first-pass): 100%

Phase 2

Sprite Art: 20%?

Other Content Creation: 0%

Phase 3

Release Readiness: 0%

(These numbers can be somewhat deceptive though. My true design style is to reach the moment where we have to make something, then suddenly think of something different at the last minute. This is always how it’s been with me and my work. It feels like no matter how much I plan, everything comes down to what I think of at the last second…)

Team and Disability

You may have noticed from my phrasing, but yes, there is a team helping me create the game. Other than me, there are about three active team members working day-to-day, with a few other people pitching in from time to time.

Their roles of the main members are overall content implementation and organization, bullet pattern implementation (part-time), and art (Temmie). Other than designing, I still have the role of system programmer.

I’m extremely grateful to have a team helping me carry out my design especially because of my disabilities, which have also made development more difficult.

Although I have long suffered from wrist and hand pain, about five months ago my wrist was the worst it’s ever been. I could not play the piano, use the mouse, and barely could use the keyboard. I navigated everything through voice to text.

Through weightlifting, exercise, and various equipment I have been able to somewhat increase the stamina of my wrist to an extent. Various solutions have included trackball mice for each hand, using voice to text whenever possible, using a foot pedal to click the mouse, etc.

Now I can use the mouse and keyboard for a certain amount each day provided I take frequent breaks. I wish I could work without stopping. Once the world situation improves I would really like to take physical therapy again and/or investigate surgery to repair my wrist.

Future Plans

Once we finish Chapter 2, I would like to use it as the base to create future chapters from. After gaining experience from this chapter, I think making future chapters will be easier.

Part of me wonders if we could make the game faster if we increased the size of the team and did something insane like create multiple chapters in parallel. However, another part of me understands that, adding more people doesn’t guarantee that the game will be created faster if it’s not done properly. I’m already just barely avoiding becoming a bottleneck on development even with a team of this size, due to my physical limitations.

To that end, I am interested in making a list of people that could potentially help me make the game. I’m not 100% sure if I’m going to ask anyone to help, but I think if I could find just 1 person that works well with me, it’s worth asking.

Chapter 2 is proceeding at a good pace, so if we do take anyone on, it will probably only be for Chapter 3 onward. So please understand that anything you send in may not have an immediate result.

People I Am Looking For

Feel free to send in your portfolio if you have the following qualifications:

Worked in the game industry before

Worked under NDA before

Have professional references

A degree of creativity while also being okay with just following directions

Fluent in English

People I Might Actually Use

Music Transcription / Basic Arrangement (Part-Time)

I usually start making songs by playing the piano and singing. An important step after this is to take this basic outline and transcribe it into melodies and chords. Though there are not too many remaining songs to transcribe, it would still help my wrist to have someone else start this process for me. Although I know many musicians, I’m sheepish to ask for help to them, because the main role is actually just to help me compose my own music…

Helpful qualities:

Good at transcription.

Can stand listening to me sing.

Optional: can use an old version of Fruity Loops.

Bullet Pattern Programming (Part-Time)

I’m looking for someone to help me program bullet patterns into the game. These people will work from text and visual designs to create fun battles that match the feeling of the game. I already have one person helping with this, but I think a second person would help a lot. You have to be able to use Gamemaker Studio 2 to manipulate objects on the screen / okay with using pre-existing scripts to accomplish this.

Helpful qualities:

Sense of fun and understanding of player perspective and gameplay balance. This aspect is [many times] more important than programming ability.

Reliable.

Able to make patterns based off of visual/text instructions.

Fine working with a poorly made battle system.

Able to sprite bullets.

Good visual / timing sense.

Minigame Programming (Part-Time)

There are a few minigames and small interactive events in the game, which appear in and outside of battles. These could take any kind of form… who knows what I’m thinking! Have you made a game before?

Helpful qualities:

Same sense of humor as me.

Some level of spriting ability is useful.

You have to have made a game that is fun.

Ability to work together with me.

Unlikely to Hire, But Send Me Your Information Just In Case

Cutscene Programming (Part-Time)

Besides the battles, the largest amount of content in the game is definitely the cut scenes. You will have to understand Gamemaker Studio 2, but the majority of the work is simply using a scripting system that I created to make characters move around the screen. The most important quality you can have here is not programming ability but the ability to efficiently use the system in order to create scenes with a good sense of humor, timing, and emotion.

I’d strongly prefer to hire someone I know to do this because it involves the story. So I most likely won’t hire anyone else.

Helpful qualities:

Can take text instructions and impart a proper sense of timing, humor, and weight to them.

Fine working with a custom scripting system (or smart enough to make something better that makes the game easier to make).

Art (Part-Time)

Sprite art—Temmie has already drawn a massive amount of art for the game, and continues to do so. And I actually already have a few other artists that have helped me that I’m more than happy to keep working with if things become more overwhelming. So currently I actually don’t need any more artists.

However, personally, I’d really like to build up a portfolio of available pixel artists and even concept artists. It’s not as if this is the only game I will make during my life. Anyone chosen for this game needs to be able to match the style of the game, but I’m interested in seeing people with different styles as well. Knowing that I have different options can open my mind up to different creative pathways.

Helpful qualities:

Can take bad looking sketches and turn them into art that looks good (magic).

Don’t mind if your work gets completely drawn over or thrown out.

Anyone that can draw cute or cool poses is good.

Uninterested in seeing people that have an art style outside of the scope of the game.

Write (Full-Time)

Someone needs to transform into a new wrist for me.

Helpful qualities:

Flexible.

Doesn’t hurt.

Musical sense.

That’s everyone I’m looking for. The only other kind of person I might hire would be a single jack-of-all-trades type that can do any sort of things such as cutscenes, bullets, or even system programming, with a good degree of visual flair. (But if you can do those sorts of things, aren’t you busy making your own game already!?)

Anyway, I’ll show you the e-mail now. Just make sure you read these rules first:

Don’t send in e-mails about anything else!

Don’t send to other team members, Fangamer, etc. about helping out!

Got it? Then please send your information to this e-mail address:

deltarunejobs@fangamer.com

Since Fangamer will be sorting through the e-mails for me, we’ll stop taking e-mails at the end of September so they don’t get overwhelmed. Ultimately, I’m only looking for one or two people, and to make a list of the rest of the potentially helpful people in the world.

Undertale is available now for PlayStation 4, Switch, PS Vita, and PC via Steam and GOG. Deltarune Chapter 1 is availble for PlayStation 4, Switch, and PC via Deltarune.com.

[imuybemovoko]

I die inside while dissecting Jesus music

For this fun little exercise in self-torture, I’m going to find a weird worship song and dissect it. Today I feel like saying death-cult a distressing number of times so I’m going to find one that talks about how the next world is supposed to be better for this one. 

I’m probably going to regret this. And probably cope by blasting metal while I do this. 

I’ll go with a bit of low-hanging fruit for this first one: Even So Come. It’s attributed six ways to Sunday because like seven different artists/groups have a recording of it somewhere out public, but this lyric site thingy says Chris Tomlin. Some of these songs get wildly popular to the point where even as a church guitar guy (read: very large fan of this shitty music) I tended to find it a bit confusing to tell who originally wrote them. This is an example. I think it was probably Kristian Stanfill but uh... I can never be 100% sure. I’ve been wrong about ones I was way more sure about before.

This song is repetitive as fuck, like a lot of these, because what helps indoctrinate people more than literally singing the same words for 15 minutes? 

Let’s get into this shit.

The song

I’ll spare you a few minutes of your life if you want to keep it. I already linked the lyrics, but I’ll give this a quick listen to make sure Stanfill doesn’t literally freehand some new lyrics during the video; if he does, I’ll discuss that too I suppose. The whole point of this is that I’m listening to this shit so you don’t have to. But if you really want to, then go off I guess. I can’t and honestly wouldn’t try to stop you. Unless this shit is triggering to you. In that case please don’t listen. It used to fuck me up hard when my brother would blast songs like this in the shower after I deconverted. I don’t want that happening to anyone out there. Tread with caution.

Okay. I wrote that while I was listening, and apparently he doesn’t yeet off into new spontaneous lyrics at any point. I think that’s more of a Bethel thing, but I don’t remember it being exclusive to them so I had to make sure. 

Ok, let’s do this more or less in order. I’ll take it a verse at a time. But first, let’s talk formatting. The first two verses aren’t separated by anything, and the third is after the first chorus. After the third verse they play the chorus again, then the bridge. The AZLyrics entry under Tomlin lists it twice; Stanfill plays it twice. When I was on the worship team at a church, we’d typically play the bridge four times for extra drama. After this, they end with two tricks. First is that they play the first half or so of the chorus, then a whole chorus right after it. Again, this is for extra drama. The leader of the worship team at my old church would tend to point to one part of the song as the “climax” and we’d do a fair amount of this kind of shit leading up to it. In this particular case, it’s actually most of the chorus, leaving off only the “even so come” lines. The break is at a lyrically appropriate place more often than it’s just like “haha 2 bars into the chorus” or something like that because of course the message has to be consistent.  After this, they fade the song out by repeating the last line or two, like, umpteen times to foster a contemplative mood. (It works. I’ve been on both ends of this dynamic. If you’re in a more charismatic crowd, my experience suggests that this final repetition is the most likely point where someone’s going to fall out and start speaking in tongues or something. Also, in those circles sometimes one of the vocalists, most often the team leader because of course, will give some kind of “word from God” to the congregation.) That’s the format, and it’s a very common one. At church camps and retreats and events like those, often they’ll loop choruses or bridges or ending tags or, sometimes (but far less often), verses and extend a song like this one to like fifteen or twenty minutes. In a typical church service they don’t really do it that way though because people might get impatient or something. 

On to the lyrics of this song. I’ll address the verses in order, then the chorus and bridge, then talk ordering, because doing this chronologically would get annoying as fuck. The first verse is as follows: 

All of creation All of the earth Make straight a highway A path for the Lord Jesus is coming soon

Notice the equivocation in the first two lines here. The author most likely believes this is an accurate thing to equivocate, and so do most of their audience. 

The next two lines are a similar repetition, using both modern and more Biblically-flavored language, in reference to Mark 1:3. The particular language used is not altogether different from most English translations. These lines, both in the sense that the author intends and in their function in the song, are meant to prepare the listener for what follows:  “Jesus is coming soon.” A reminder of the inevitable apocalypse most Christian sects teach and, in their view, the second chronologically of two most important events in the entire history and future of the world (the first being the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ). Every verse of the song ends with this reminder. 

To boil the message of this verse down into one word:

(I have entirely too much fun with this image lol)

The second verse:

Call back the sinner Wake up the saint Let every nation Shout of Your fame Jesus is coming soon

“Call back the sinner” implies a return to origins and contains an implicit reference to the prodigal son in the parable in Luke 15. The implication is that being a “sinner” (and I’ll discuss the dichotomy in a second here) is a life of running away from God either by ignorance or by choice, and that they were originally with God. The typical narrative on the mechanisms of the fall of man seems to suggest otherwise because only Adam and Eve were technically originally with God and everyone else starts out separated because of that lovely little generational curse thingy, this is a bit of an odd take, but in light of the evangelical perspective that not only a god, but their god is so self evident that people have to make the active choice to not believe, this makes an entire hell of a lot of sense, and “calling back the sinner” could entail saying “lol stop wasting your energy running from what you know.” 

The next line engages in a bit of common guilt-tripping. Saying “wake up the saint” implies that believers and churches have fallen asleep in some sense, and that’s actually a perspective referenced in the letters to the seven churches in Revelation, each church getting a different flavor of messaging like this. When churches and saints are called to “wake up”, it means to cease engaging in whatever behavior is apparently polluting their message, i.e. forgetting the original reason they’re doing this, normalizing “worldly” practices, bad leadership paradigms, etc. Thus, I’m inclined to read this line as something like “you’re better than the rest of humanity; act like it.

Also of note is this dichotomy established here between “sinners” and “saints”. This is, on paper at least, the only important distinction in evangelicalism. (In practice they have a lot of shitty perspectives on women because of Paul’s writings as well as some class and/or racial biases, unconscious or conscious depending on the particular congregation.) A “saint” is a “true” Christian, one who is “set apart” from the world by God. A “sinner” is literally anyone else. In addition to their entire laundry list of harmless actions that are considered sins, Evangelicals (and probably many other Christians honestly) will say that to be non-Christian is a sin. In my old church and its affiliates I often heard that to remain non-Christian for an entire lifetime is the only unforgivable sin, identifying it with the “blasphemy of the Holy Spirit” referenced in Matthew 12:31. There are a wide variety of perspectives on what this “blasphemy of the Holy Spirit” actually means, and I can really only confidently speak to Calvary Chapel’s perspective on that. In any case, this song makes use of the “sinner vs saint” dichotomy common in Christianity. I analyze it as a typical “us vs them” with an added twist that says “the ‘them’ can become us and that’s better”. 

After this is a reference to the passages in the Bible that speak of the Gospel being spread to “every nation” and things such as that, and that every nation will come under Christ’s lordship at the end of time. Then there’s a reminder that the singer is awaiting this apparently fast-approaching end. 

The third verse:

There will be justice All will be new Your name forever Faithful and true Jesus is coming soon

This third verse is mostly a reference to events predicted to occur after the second coming of Christ. In Revelation, among other places, there is a described sequence of events in which the world comes absolutely fucking unglued, falls under the thumb of a tyrannical world government run by some guy who lets himself get possessed by Satan, and then is yeeted by God and soaked in the blood of Satan’s armies at the final battle. A bit later, for some reason Satan has to be let go for a bit, but he loses hard once again. After this, God yeets the unbelievers into hellfire and makes a new world which he rules forever. In short, the collapse, battles, and Great Divine Yeet are what this “justice” describes. The remaining lines speak of this renewed world run by Jesus himself. Lastly, we have the reminder that this is all going to happen before very long here. 

There’s a bit of a double-reference thing going on here and in the second verse too, and I’m honestly not entirely sure what to make of it, but it shows up often in contemporary Christian music. They’ll switch between referring to God in second person (Your name forever) and in third person (Jesus is coming soon). It seems ...most likely to be a matter of convenience, and I’m rather inclined to treat it as that because the other things I think of seem either counter-productive or very, very outlandish. Like, are they alternating between addressing God and addressing the listener? Maybe, but the message of this song is so much more listener-directed that I find that thought kinda weird.

In any case, that’s the verses. 

Now let’s get to the chorus. This is repeated after the first two verses and again several times after the third, and it contains a lot of deeply cursed metaphors. I mean holy fuck. 

Like a bride Waiting for her groom We'll be a church Ready for You Every heart longing for our King We sing Even so come Lord Jesus come Even so come Lord Jesus come

So the first two little couplets here refer to a metaphor found in several places in scripture where the church is the “bride” of Christ.  This. is. CREEPY! In the old testament, the role of the wife is often analogous to that of property, so that’s deeply gross. Further, Paul says men are the head of women, i.e. have great authority over them, and women should be subservient. Jesus doesn’t honestly do a whole hell of a lot to resist this, and powerful women throughout most of the scriptures are either defined as attaining their power in “God-honoring” subservient ways like Esther or as dangerous demonic influences operating under the “spirit of Jezebel”. (”Jezebel” is literally a scriptural term for this kind of thing; one of the church letters in Revelation uses it. Many evangelicals/fundies add “spirit of” because of their borderline-animistic take on spiritual warfare. I might describe that in more detail in a later post. It’s a metaphor based on an old-testament queen who is presented as manipulative and narcissistic, taking the real power in the kingdom from her husband by manipulation and doing a great deal of damage with it.) Thus, in this context, I find the “bride” metaphors inextricable from a tyrannical, abusive relationship in which the man, or in this case Christ, is the absolute head. Biblical ideas on marriage and family life are an entire problem too, establishing what I feel very confident in describing as an abusive power dynamic. Thus, this song references a metaphor by which Christ is described as having abusive control over his people. @kristian stanfill thanks I hate it. @whoever the fuck wrote the bible thanks I hate it. The couplet in this song is describing a situation in which the church is waiting to submit to an abusive authority and it’s fucking disgusting and I hate that I used to live that way.

The next line, “every heart longing for our king”, indicates that it’s normative to strongly desire this power dynamic and expresses a probably-genuine (mine was) desire for more of Jesus on the part of the writer and the singer. So with these preconditions established, they say, “we sing, even so come, Lord Jesus, come”, repeating “even so come” and on twice for added weight. The chorus and bridge are, by the way, where this seems to get deathculty. 

Remember that in referencing the coming of Jesus, they reference ideas that this world is shitty and being dead and in heaven/having the world destroyed by God and replaced is going to be a hell of a lot better. The Bible and many churches, particularly evangelicals, will even use language like “dying to oneself” to refer to the process of laying down one’s life for the cause of Jesus. Thus, death metaphors infiltrate their literal daily living. The general attitude that’s expected for people to have in those circumstances is one of “I won’t seek death actively but I will welcome it when the time comes”, and coupled with the way the other forms of abuse broke me, this had me fantasizing about dying in third-world countries for getting too annoying about Jesus. So that’s pretty wack, I suppose. This belief system is one that puts death on a very disturbing pedestal. This entire song is about preparing for the return of Jesus, which is going to bring a hell of a lot of death if it happens as they predict. This very deadly event is what “Jesus is coming soon” entails, and it’s one of two possible interpretations that I can think of to apply to these “even so come lord Jesus come” lines. The other is that they believe that Jesus is present with them when they worship (Matthew 18:20) and they seek to experience this presence. But the preparatory nature of this song, in my experience at least, puts very strong priority on the first sense, even though it can be, and in church settings often functions as, both. These lines are a plea for personal transformation and for the apocalypse. In the vanishingly unlikely event that the Christian version of the divine turns out to be true, billions will die in wars and disasters (some actively caused by God’s agents) and many of those same billions and many more people, including me, will be victims of the Great Cosmic Yeet and land in hellfire forever. And they want this to happen sooner rather than later. That’s literally the main point of this song. 

So we wait We wait for You God we wait You're coming soon

This is the bridge. It’s typically repeated kind of a lot. Like, I mean holy fuck they repeat this. It’s literally just “we’re excited for the second coming of Christ”. You know, in case someone needed a reminder that they want billions dead, even more people yeeted into hellfire, and the entire world destroyed. Evangelical and fundamentalist strains of Christianity are literally a death cult. 

So with that rant-filled analysis out of the way, let’s see if I can talk formatting without dying inside again or getting too pissed off. 

On the lyric site I linked above (and I’ll link it again so you don’t have to scroll through whatever literal mountain of text and cursed images I’ve produced) this goes verse 1, verse 2, chorus, verse 3, chorus, bridge twice, weird most-of-chorus tag, chorus, the last two lines like several times over. Thus, already we have multiple repetitions of most concepts found in this song. Also, this two verses-chorus-third verse-chorus-bridge several times-chorus twice-ending tag format is quite common in contemporary Christian music, in the studio recordings, official lyrics, and chord sheets you’ll find out there. But I cannot stress enough that this structure, especially the bridge and latter choruses but the entire structure including the verses, is extremely modular. Anything can be repeated, or repeated more times. Anything can be re-inserted in another place. This is mostly a Bethel thing in my experience, but there can be instrumental breaks for one of the vocalists to yeet out entirely spontaneous lyrics. There can be massive empty instrumental breaks, or instrumental breaks with spoken words in them. And I’ve seen even less of that, but parts of other songs can be inserted just about anywhere too, and I’ve actually participated in that one on occasion. To an extent, any music can be handled in ways like this, but it seems to me like contemporary Christian music is consciously designed that way because its target audience goes nuts over long, “spirit-filled” songs played at church camps or an extra spicy church service. 

It’s also worth noting, and if I end up doing a whole lot of these I’ll probably explain this in a great deal more depth, that these songs can get reasonably similar to one another. I think that’s because to a very large extent, the words and structure matter a hell of a lot less than the way they set the mood. You can get the same impact on a crowd of willing Christians from probably literally any combination of these songs. I always had my favorites but that didn’t seem to matter that much. 

I’m inclined to say some of the same things about a lot of modern music, actually. It has common structures, a lot of music is interchangeable for certain moods, etc. But I can’t say a thing about the modularity of modern music. A song seems to be way more of a distinct unit in most environments. Mashups do happen, but massive repetitions of one piece of a song generally don’t in any context that I’m aware of. They’ll jam out on an instrumental for a while at concerts sometimes, but you really don’t get this, like, singing “Crawl on your belly til the sun goes down, I’ll never wear your broken crown, I took the road and I fucked it all away, in this twilight how dare you speak of grace” more than like the twice they do it in the studio recording from most groups like you do in very many Christian music settings. (The example chorus I put here was from Mumford and Sons- Broken Crown. It’s an amazing song, I totally recommend it lol it was the first one that popped into my head for this purpose.) Some other commonalities are present in a lot of modern music, but for the most part, that modularity would just come across extremely weird. I think just about every time I’ve either seen or been involved in the playing of Even So Come at a church, the musicians engaged in at least some degree of modularity, most often by repeating the bridge but sometimes uh... holy crap. Because of the extreme prolific use of these songs in church or retreat settings, I’m inclined to list the modularity as the single most important aspect of the formatting of this song and of many others.

[amateurish]

<youtube>"https://www.youtube.com/embed/V_gQ6n1mcZA"</youtube>

<h1>Why did the iPod go out of fashion?</h1>

This video very aptly explains why Apple’s iPod was the single greatest music listening experience that we’ve experienced: you can plug into distraction-free music, wherever you go.

So why did it die?

When the iPod touch came out, it quickly replaced its internet free predecessors. We had a shiny new gadget, we wanted it. We wanted all of the functionality we could muster, crammed into one device. But do consumers always know best? Given the choice to switch back to an iPod Nano, I would take it.

<h2>I may be crazy, but give me a Nano</h2>

I’ll be the first to admit that I love Spotify. The recommendations and personalisation are unprecedented and make the listening experience incredibly seamless. In an age without radio, Spotify is the saviour we need to discover new music and support small artists. But you have to ask yourself, how often are you truly disconnected from your phone?

For me, I’ll never be further than 1 AirPod connectivity radius from my phone. If someone wants to reach me, they can. I’ve been conditioned to answer calls, texts, and emails immediately, no matter the time or day. I wholeheartedly believe that this is to do with the fact that everyone is connected. You can be sure – to some level of certainty – that the person you’re texting will see the message within 5 minutes. Is it rude to respond later? No. Will you feel guilty for not responding straight away? Yes.

This has a huge impact on social development and mental health. If you grow up believing that you must be at the beck and call of anyone – even strangers – on the other side of your phone, it will undoubtedly translate into real life. Gen Z is famous for simultaneously being aggressive and fearless activists while being terrified to raise simple concerns about a meal to their waiter. We have been conditioned to put ourselves last. If we were to break the chain of absurd interconnectedness and relieve the expectations of always being available, we would have a much better chance of forgiving ourselves for taking a moment to focus on us. 

<h2>But how could the Nano succeed?</h2>

The solution is two-fold: change the marketing strategy, and increase functionality.

As I write this, I realise that now might be the time for Spotify to enter the game of audio devices. What the consumers love is the ability to stream & discover music, audiobooks, and podcasts, with pseudo-unlimited storage. 

<h3>Marketing</h3>

There are two distinct target audiences for this device: Boomers & Zoomers. Okay, I actually mean (Boomers + Gen X) & Zoomers, but it sounded cooler the first way.

In my experience, Gen X & Boomers enjoy clean and simple tech. They want to listen to their music. That’s it. Targeting towards them would look like nostalgia, simplicity, and discovery. Keep the experience similar to what they’ve had before but play up the disconnectedness.

These generations are generally late-adopters who rely on the recommendations of their (grand)children. That’s where the Gen Z come to play.

Gen Z want simple. They want retro. They want to care about their mental health and the wellbeing of others. Give them the option to jump back in time to an mp3 player that will allow them to be completely disconnected. Listen to your music without the fear of getting a call or text. Play up the long-term goal of releaving the pressure to be on standby every second of every day. Open up discussions around the benefit this could provide & let them recognise these expectations within themselves. Your Gen Z will be your early-adopters, and eventually influence the Gen X & Boomers.

<h3>Hardware</h3>

Design is next; designing an updated, successful mp3 device will be tough. Perhaps seperated mp3 players are cyclical with the fashion. Regardless, fashion has brought us bumbags and handbags for all genders. Now more than ever, we don’t care about the number or size of devices we’re carrying around. 

The physical device will need to be sustainably produced. Gen Z want to reduce waste and ensure fair trading and construction processes. Give an insight into how the devices are made. Employ underprivileged or underserved communities for good wages. These devices will be more expensive, but in the climate we live in, it’s necessary.

<h3>Software</h3>

Functionality should be at a minimum, but equatable to a Spotify or Apple Music app on your smartphone. This device can be supremely optimised for audio playback and discovery. Here’s my vision:

Load time is next to nothing. We cache not only the songs that the user generally listens to, but also the songs that we think the user might want to listen to. We need to find an optimal starting point (what song/playlist we expect the user to listen to first) and press the user to start there. This will allow us to deliver the super-low latency experience almost every time. 

We optimise the cache based on the listening habits of the user. If this user historically listens to the same song/s on repeat, we use an LSU (least recently used) cache. This will delete the least recently used files and allow us to constantly keep in memory the songs that we believe the user will want to access in the near-term future. Similarly, if a user generally listens to entire playlists, we use a MRU (most recently used) cache which will bias towards discarding the most recently listend to music. 

Extrapolating listening habits to premptively load and cache songs will be another huge part of a successful stand-alone mp3 device. Imagine a device that would allow you to continue on your Taylor Swift deepdive while you’re stuck in the NYC subway for 30 minutes. This would be revolutionary to oh-so-many New Yorkers who currently need to make sure all of their audio is downloaded prior to subway trips. 

We can use an exploratory method to determine the current listening path of the user. If you imagine a tree data structure and we’re traversing using an A* algorithm. The head node is the current song, and we generate its children based on historic listening habits of the user, along with those of the wider listening community. If I’m listening to Baby by Justin Bieber (Ft. Ludacris), it’s pretty likely that my next song will either be: old school JB, newer JB, other nostalgic songs from the late 2000s, or back to my normal listening habits. With each additional song that I make a decision on (ie. listen to or skip), we become more certain about what my next choice will be. By doing this, and expanding the cache in an A* kind of way, we can try to keep all songs of interest in memory, all the time.

We need Spotify for one main reason: data. This optimised caching system will only work if we have incredible amounts of data. To get this data, we need trust, time, and good data storage and modelling practices. Starting as a new company trying to gather this data would either be incredibly expensive, or incredibly time consuming. 

All I can say is, let’s do it!!

[bobbiehoney]

⌞ʾ⁎ ⊰ phoebe tonkin, cisfemale, she/her ⊱ i think i just saw BOBBIE LANGDON walk across trafalgar square, singing to SHE* ( HARRY STYLES ). you know, the TWENTY NINE year old MARKETING EXECUTIVE? people claim that they are just like BOBBIE from COMPANY**. it must be because they are CHARISMATIC and INDECISIVE as well… though i could be wrong. all i know for sure is that they live at BALTIMORE*** apartment. { violet, 23, est, she/her }⌝

yaaaaa’ll ! hi!! i’m violet! I admined the first little version of this group with fie and i’m so excited to join this community of musical theatre nerds, my fave people. i’m 23, I use she/her pronouns, and i live in the est time zone. i’m a (struggling lol) actress and writer. i’m a slut for any and all sondheim, and i first saw company when i was 16 and I didn’t really *get it* but I loved it. since then i’ve seen a lot productions (except the current broadway cast) and i always find something new in it. I was in a really cool gender-swap-y production of the show earlier this year (seriously it was so queer and inclusive and great) and while I didn’t play bobbie we spent a week just talking about the show and the dynamics of all of the characters and I have many ideas of how I would play bobbie....and muse.....SO ANYWAYS - ya’ll ready for a character study? 

bobbie. bobbie, the very best wingman. bobbie, the perpetual third wheel. bobbie, the reliable. bobbie, the undependable. bobbie, the warmest. bobbie, aloof and mysterious. bobbie, the very best listener. bobbie, the cluelessly insensitive. bobbie, the romantic. bobbie, the heartbreaker. bobbie, the sentimental. bobbie, one of the guys. bobbie, the tease. bobbie, the magnetic. bobbie, the zombie. 

background

bobbie’s name is actually elizabeth, after her grandmother (her fathers mother), and her grandmother’s mother. but most folks, her many dear friends included, don’t know that. her family never really called her anything but bobbie, and when asked if bobbie is short for something she’s always taken aback for a moment because she kind of forgets that it is. 

she’s a born and bred new yorker and while she fits very easily into the london lifestyle, she’s still grouchy about how the bagels aren’t “right”, and things like that.  she’s been living in london for about five years now, but she also travels a fair amount for work and visits nyc often.

she was definitely born into wealth, but bobbie isn’t materialistic, really. she lives a very “comfortable” lifestyle, but doesn’t hoard her wealth and donates a large amount of her income to charity. she isn’t financially dependent on her family, and hasn’t been since she graduated college, which she’s a little proud of. is she a yuppie though? a bit.

she works for a large corporation and kind of dislikes that, but she’s very very good at her job. she’s always had a natural ability to know what attracts people, and that translates perfectly into marketing. 

I think bobbie had a normal childhood, not a perfect one, but nothing traumatic I don’t think. I do imagine that her parents were pretty distant from each other and that they got a (somewhat expected) divorce when bobbie was in college. she’s definitely an only child, and her parents are proud of her...but, like everyone else, they don’t understand why she won’t settle down.

personality

the thing about bobbie that kind of defines her whole personality is that she is just super magnetic. she’s personable, witty, and people are just very drawn to her. she doesn’t really understand that, though, if that makes sense? bobbie is definitely confident, but she doesn’t really see herself as much different than anyone else. people just love being around her, and she loves being around people. 

bobbie is the biggest extrovert, a complete social butterfly and the life of the party. can make friends with anyone. she...really hates being alone, in truth. and has a penchant for hanging out with couples, she’s basically an eternal third wheel, but she enjoys that.

in denial. just always in denial. large capacity for denial.

important: bobbie is an observer. she’s always watching, listening (not just hearing), judging, and taking stock of people. (“she always looks like she’s keeping score. who’s winning, bobbie?”) that’s why she and joanne are the closest relationship that bobbie has in the show, among both friends and lovers. they’re both watchers, they’re like cats. (”sometimes i catch her looking and looking - i just look right back.”) the emotional climax of the show happens because of joanne. 

the wild thing about company is that you’re mostly told and not shown what bobbie’s personality is like, because the scenes are focused on the couples/dates and the songs are introspective thoughts. the couples describe bobbie as being dependable, helpful, loving, and basically the glue that keeps their lives together. the three characters that bobbie has romantic relationships with describe her as withholding, cold, and undependable. that’s because that’s the two sides of the bobbie coin, if you will. 

bobbie is an incredible friend. the four couples in the show are definitely her best friends in the world, and she would go anything for any of them. but they are definitely the only people the bobbie is dependable with, aside from her family. she also loves them dearly but sometimes she is this meme after hanging out with them or their kids lol. she says yes to them way too much and sometimes she is....incredibly burnt out and overwhelmed.

she’s an amazing friend, but one things change from platonic to romantic, she’s usually pretty quick to flee. she doesn’t know why. she tells herself that they just weren’t the one, that it just wasn’t meant to be because if it was she wouldn’t run so hot and cold. she’s very affectionate and charming with her lovers, she almost always seems to share a connection with them, and then she disappears. no one ever really knows why. she feels bad ghosting people, but she always says it’s for everyone’s best interest. 

in all honesty bobbie could have settled down, she did find someone who could have been her “one” in pj/kathy. they both wanted to marry each other, but neither made the move, and bobbie feels deep regret for that. so the problem is her, not anyone else. she just can’t commit.

bobbie probably drinks too much, but she says it’s okay because she’s a fun drunk and she rarely gets sloppy. but she drinks too much.

bobbie definitely has bad impulse control, and often doesn’t really think things through, especially when she’s hit with a big emotional shift. i.e. when she proposes to amy/jamie in the show. 

she’s lowkey kind of a square.....like she definitely smokes weed (canon!) and drinks but she also refuses to smoke a cigarette when joanne pressures her to (which, i get is an emotional thing and not really about the cigarette but stick with me here) and she’s very put off by peter and susan’s polyamy so AND she’s super taken aback by how *radical* and *wild* marta/theo is (which...isn’t much these days, it’s all just kind of aged material lol)......bobbie is not *as* cool as she thinks.

a line I always keep in mind about bobbie, which paul says - “a person like bobbie doesn’t have the good things, and she doesn’t have the bad things. but she doesn’t have the good things.”

notes on company (mostly for anyone who might consider playing a character from the show)

i’m playing bobbie at 29 about to turn 30, rather than 34 about to be 35. honestly i just had trouble finding the perfect fc, and so i aged her down. (why doesn’t aubrey plaza have more resources? ugh!) 

she’ll turn 30 eventually, but whooo i just wanna have fun being dumb bobbie before she becomes slightly more evolved bobbie.

my bobbie is VERY bisexual. I would really enjoy a mix of the original genders of bobbie’s lovers and the revival’s. so april/andy, pj/kathy, and marta/theo are all welcome! as is jamie/amy. (though honestly I would prefer an amy) and i would like to keep the romantic/sexual undertones with joanne, if possible, unlike the revival. (& her lil flirtation with jenny because idk if they change that to david in the revival or not?) my version of bobbie would basically sing about all of her pals in “someone is waiting”, she sees things that she loves about all of them and would want in a partner.

connection ideas (I am very bad at these but i’ll try to think of more)

bobbie would have a million acquaintances. from work, from the grocery store, from the tube. she talks to strangers, she flirts with everyone she encounters, even if she is silently judging them at times. but she’s nice, I promise.

friends! of course, all of the friends. let’s see how they could know eachother!

 bobbie is definitely besties with her neighbors, or tries to be.

look...bobbie dates casually, multiple people at a time, always. i’m open to all sorts of different relationship dynamics! bobbie may or may not break their heart a little bit though, i’ll warn ya’ll lol.

and of course!!! SPURNED LOVERS or exes of any type and on any terms!

[thebeautyoffandoms]

10 of The Best Vocaloid/Utaite/J-Pop/Anime Themes/etc Songs That I’ve Stumbled Across! (AKA 10 Best Weeb Songs That I’ve Stumbled Across):

Sorry for my repetitive vocabulary...

1) (trigger warning) Ruru’s Suicide Livestream (Shinsei Kamattechan)- 

One thing I always find amazing about songs is when they have a story behind them. Ruru’s Suicide Livestream (also translated into other similar titles. I.e. Ruru’s Suicide Show on a Livestream, Ruru’s Livestream Suicide Show. You can search and find it by any title such as those.) tells the story of a 14 year old Japanese girl. According to what I’ve read, she would livestream things ranging from singing and playing the piano (rather impressively), to running across busy streets. Up until the day she livestreamed herself jumping, with some people encouraging it. The singer/songwriter for this song, who has BPD and has attempted suicide in the past, felt deeply enough for the poor girl to write a song about it. As sad as the story is, I have to compliment how well the song’s put together. Along with the fact that I have a huge soft spot for songs that have sad lyrics/meanings but a happy tune, the singing in this song sounds so… strained? Sad, almost in pain. Which is how Roro-chan must have felt. The art and animation in the video are also incredibly impressive. I really respect how they tried, and succeeded I believe, to tell the story in Roro-chan’s perspective. With everything put together how impressively it was, the song is enough to bring me to tears, even if it does have such a positive-sounding tune.  (NOTEWORTHY COVER: MDATripleStar’s Cover! I really, really, like this cover! The singer manages to keep the sadness that the original singer had, and does a really great job at keeping the same overall sound in her voice. I also think that the lyrics used here fit really nicely!)

2) (trigger warning, adult themes) Wozwald (Niru Kajitsu)- 

I have to start this by saying, I’m honestly not a big fan of how they tuned vflower. But, even with that, this is still my favorite song. Wozwald has such an eerie tune, that’s also pretty sad-sounding, with (in my opinion) equally as eerie/sad lyrics. I enjoy the fact that they leave most of the theorizing up to the viewers. Though, at my first glances, Wozwald seemed to be about a man questioning religion, the more I listened to it and watched the video closer, the more I began to see it a bit differently. Is is about religion? Morals? Happiness? Lost family members? Oswald the Lucky Rabbit? All of the above? Or maybe none of that.  (I really like this theory!) I also really like that they throw in another character from another song (Kalmia.) The visuals also stole my heart from the beginning. It being mainly black-and-white suits the song, and I adore the art style. Especially the lighting. It’s really nice to look at! (NOTEWORTHY COVER: any fan of this song probably saw this coming- miy_yuu’s cover!  He always does such an awesome job on his covers, and this one is no different! From the whispery parts, to the high notes, I think just about everything here is beautiful. The subtitles on the video are also super neat!)

3) Yellow (Yoh Kamiyama)- 

This song, right from the beginning, is awesome to listen to. The way it starts off with a simple beat, and Kamiyama’s amazing voice, and then quickly switches to more instruments. Though the switch isn’t anything crazy, it’s still there, and it’s a rather beautiful change. I think the meaning of this song is clearer than Wozwald, but I still like that it’s left for people to decide. The most “obvious” (in my opinion) theory being that Yellow is about a past relationship, most likely a toxic one, and the boy trying to get over it. While some may say the art isn’t “anything impressive”, I think it’s still a key factor in what makes this song one of my favorites. It’s done sort of like a sketch, and has simple colors. Which reflects how the song itself sounds… pretty simple. Yet, it’s still incredible, just like the art. The animation is also very neat! While it looks almost like normal animation, it manages to be… a bit off putting? Most everything about this song and video is almost… hypnotizing? (NOTEWORTHY COVER: JubyPhonic’s Cover! I really like her vocal range in this cover! It suits her voice amazingly. And, once again, I love her translyrics. I also admire the fact that she got this cover out, and beautifully done, when she wasn’t feeling her best.)

4) Nandemo Nadari (KANA-BOON)- 

Such a cute song! It may not seem very impressive to some, but I absolutely adore this! It’s such a genuinely happy sounding song, and the lyrics, though maybe not what was expected, are just as precious! Or… pretty much just as precious. The dances in this song are simple, but the way everyone seems to be goofing off slightly makes me smile! I also love how much fun everyone looks to be having! It’s also really cute how some of the people’s timings are a little off in the dances. It makes it seem… more fun! Cuter! Happier! Less… pressured! The people, not just the band members, are also so, so precious. 

5) (adult themes) Liar Dance (DECO*27 and NAOKI ITAI)- 

To be honest, I’m not entirely sure why I love this song so much, but I’m going to try and describe it. While I admire the tuning, and I really like the video (the one used in Rachie’s cover anyway-), I think it’s simply the tune and lyrics that got my attention. It’s quite upbeat, and I love the way it begins. Slowly fading in, then changing the beat a bit. Though some of the lyrics, and the overall theme of this song, is… not the most appropriate, I just… really love the way it sounds. (NOTEWORTHY COVER: Rachie’s Cover!  This cover is actually what made me fall in love with Liar Dance, and is the primary way I listen to it. Though she said she wasn’t a big fan of the song, she still did incredibly for not loving it! I also agree with her other comment, she does sound really, really awesome here! But… I can’t think of a time Rachie doesn’t sound beautiful- this is still one of my favorites of her covers~.)

6) Zettai Zetsumei (Cö shu Nie ((The Promised Never ED 1)))- 

Aah… The Promised Neverland… an, honestly, amazing anime. And Zettai Zetsumei, a song that truly fits this show! Of course, the fact that this song fits this show that I love so well is a big reason I love the song, but the other big reason is: the vocals. More importantly, the way she hits the high notes. I’m not sure how to describe how it sounds, other than absolutely incredible! The singer’s voice through it all is insanely beautiful, of course, I was just really impressed with the higher notes. She overall has a… somewhat soft voice, and to have such a gentle-seeming voice sing lyrics like those, it also reflects the anime. Just a bunch of kids going through an awful situation.

7) Outer Science (Jin ((Kagerou Project))- 

Kagerou Project. A series that captured my attention from the moment I heard Kagerou Daze. While Outer Science sounds really awesome not knowing the story, it just seems all that more powerful when you know the context. Kuroha strikes again. Wreaking havoc just as he’s done previously! And plans to do it again and again! Well- enough about that evil boy- I don’t tend to enjoy a lot of songs with IA, Jin does an amazing job using her for this series. Especially Outer Science. Bragging on the visuals a bit, I adore the animations! And basically all of it! The drawings, the way the lyrics are placed, and the animations! The way it’s all colored also stole my heart. Especially the lighting. Shadows being cast to give it the right amount of spook, and Kuroha and Mary being in the center of some of the light.  As for the music part… summed up, it’s incredible. Like I said, IA sounds really good, but the instruments are also wonderful! The guitar being one of the best parts of the song, in my opinion. The song manages to sound chaotic while still sounding like a somewhat normal rock song. From the “softer”, “calmer” parts, to the loud, evil parts! I love this song so much! (NOTEWORTHY COVER(s! And Remix!): Kuraiinu’s Cover! While Kura usually impresses me, I really fell in love with this cover! I think his voice suits it nicely, and he pulls of the insane-sounding parts beautifully. His laugh too… amazing… RafScrap and Others (A-L1)! I truly think everyone did crazy great in this cover… from the independent screams, to the parts where they all sing together. Adding all that with the art, and video in general, this really is one of the best group covers I think I’ve ever heard! Teddyloid Remix! I think the dialogue at the beginning sounds pretty realistic, especially for a Vocaloid! The remix itself is also amazing. The video is a huge plus~.)

8) (adult themes?)  Goodbye Ms. Floral Thief (Mel)- 

I’d like to start this off with saying: Miku sounds so soft! It’s adorable, and very beautiful! Along with a lot of songs I fall in love with, I found Goodbye Ms. Floral Thief through a cover, which I’ll be putting in the noteworthy covers section. This song has a sort of… nostalgic feeling to it. I really adore songs with a nostalgic feeling such as this. Though this song may talk a little bit about “adult themes”, it’s still a beautiful song. It’s sad, and, to be honest, I’m not entirely sure on what the meaning of the song is. Though I think it’s about a lover dying, I’m not entirely sure. That seems like the most likely to me and, if that’s the case, it makes this song just that much sadder. (NOTEWORTHY COVER: Rachie’s Cover! Aaah, Rachie’s voice… it really is so lovely, especially in this cover! I believe she does an amazing job at sounding soft, and somewhat emotional. And Anthong did an amazing job with the lyrics!)

9) (trigger warning?)  Tokyo Teddy Bear (Neru)- 

I think the main thing that made me fall in love with this song was the guitar. It’s my favorite instrument, and it was played amazingly in this song! I think it’s incredible when it’s being plucked at to mimic Rin texting, though that may be a strange thing to be so impressed with. Though the texting isn’t the only impressive part with the guitar, don’t get me wrong! I think every part, especially with the guitar, in this song is super impressive. The song sounds so… loud, and gives off “I’ve given up” sorts of vibes. Plus, Rin sounds… amazingly realistic. Heck, she even breathes! Onto the art! Though it’s just a picture, in this video anyway, it’s still really neat! A kid, covered in cuts, dirt, and bandaids, in a box with a stuffed bear. As the lyrics show, the kid is almost… lost-seeming. They just want to be replaced with anything that will even be somewhat fitting. They want to be loved, and they want to feel like they belong, but they don’t think they’re fit to have any of that. So, they make themselves, basically, a living doll. A fraud, and nothing like the self they really are. Or that’s what I’ve gotten from it at least~. (NOTEWORTHY COVER: Princessemagic’s Cover! I think her voice suits this song rather nicely! It has the perfect amount of emotion put into it, and manages to be soft, yet powerful! I especially love around 1:30 when she says the lines with such… hatred.)

10) Hurricane (i’m not sure who i would credit... ((Death Note the Musical English))) - 

Gosh, where do I start…? I know the Death Note musical gets a lot of hate, but I enjoyed it! Especially this song. I think the man singing for Light is the perfect english voice, and his voice is beautiful! He sounds soft at the beginning, but, throughout the song, his voice grows stronger, which suits what happens perfectly! It’s showing Light realizing how much power he has, and it’s ever so slowly beginning to get to his head. Yet, he still has somewhat innocent intentions. But, by the end, Light is starting to see himself as the “god of a brand new world.” That’s when his voice really starts to get powerful. And his growls! They’re perfect!! Amazing, beautiful, absolutely breathtaking! The lyrics progress nicely, slowly shifting from innocent Light wanting to rid the world of evil, up until the end where he wants to become a god.  As for the instrumental itself, I also think that it’s rather perfect! I really enjoy the somewhat-gloomy piano at the beginning. It almost reminds me of a sort of “calm before the storm.” The instruments slowly pick up pace, adding more in, the further into his power Light finds himself.

[yeppeojiwrites]

beauty and a beat 1: she’s even prettier up close//multigroup crossover

summary: when people think that you can’t understand them, they tend to say bolder things. 

word count: 2,736

pairings in this chapter: hongjoong x reader and yunho x reader 

yoyoyo what’s up!

i’ve been noticing a lack of diversity in kpop group x reader fics, a lot of stuff is for people (mostly girls or female presenting people) who are caucasian or have fair skin and have straight hair and stuff but i want to change that. this story is going to have a female black protagonist, and if that’s okay with you, feel free to keep reading! if not, feel free to move along, you aren’t hurting my feelings. 

if you see this fic as “excluding a group” please be sure to think about how us non-white/non-fair skinned people feel about having little to no representation in the fanfiction community, especially considering we make up a large part of the people who read fanfiction. 

alright, rant over

to all of my black kpop stans, this one’s for you!!

normal text is spoken english

bold text is spoken in korean

bold italicized text is korean with honorifics (noona, hyung, oppa, unnie, etc.)

--

As you walked down the hallway with Ateez’s manager, Jiyoung, to one of KQ’s training rooms, your heart threatened to beat out of your chest.

You were nervous and scared out of your mind even though you had no reason to be. KQ Produce obviously thought very highly of you since they hired you to help out with Ateez’s album production after listening to a lot of your demos for songs later used by groups like G(I)-DLE, Stray Kids, and Loona and artists such as Chungha, Sunmi, and Crush. 

As the youngest non-idol producer and composer under KQ at the newly-turned international age of 18, you had a lot to prove. Sure you’ve had a lot of big-name artists use your songs  and work with you on tracks but you had to prove that you could work with others in the real industry. 

It’s only your third day in South Korea and you’re already meeting the people who had the potential to make or break your career.

--

As you neared closer and closer to the room where the boys were, you could hear people running around and yelling. When Jiyoung finally opened the door, your eyes widened at the scene in front of you. 

A pair of boys tangoed in the middle of the room while another three ran throughout the room screaming, another pair was trying to outsing each other, one of them splitting an apple in half while a single boy was trying to get everyone to calm down. 

Their manager cleared her throat and all of the commotion ceased, eight pairs of eyes looking back and forth between you and Jiyoung. 

“This is LVNDR,” Jiyoung said, gesturing to you. “But she said that you all can call her...um...” she leaned over in your ear, “I already forgot what your real name is. What is it?” she asked in English. 

“(Y/N),” you whispered in her ear. 

“She said that you guys can call her (Y/N).” She informed the group, smoothing shirt down before crossing her arms. 

“Does she only speak English?” a shorter boy with silver hair, Wooyoung, asked the manager. You looked at the manager and the corners of your lips lifted a bit.

When you first met with Jiyoung you told her to only speak to you in English in front of others despite your fluency in Korean. In the short amount of time that you’ve spent in South Korea, you realized that people have a lot more to say about you when they think you aren’t listening or can’t understand them. You wanted to be able to hear everything that people around the company were saying about you - the good, the bad, and the ugly. 

“No, not really. She had translators help her when she helped produce songs for non-English speaking idols,” Jiyoung said, lying through her teeth. You heard a few noises of understanding in response to her statement.

You looked down at your shoes for a second and looked back up, meeting the eyes of a short, honey blond haired man, who may or may not be Hongjoong. He gave you a quick smile before turning back to your manager as she continued to talk to the boys. 

“Hongjoong, she’ll be working with you on Ateez’s next album,” Jiyoung said in English. 

“Okay,” the blond haired man you smiled at earlier, Hongjoong, said. He walked over to stand in front of you and both of you were a little shocked when you both found that you were a bit taller than him. 

“I forgot foreigners are so tall,” a taller boy with dark hair, Yunho, said. 

“I thought she looked tall standing next to our manager,” a shorter boy with red streaked hair, San, responded. 

“Wow...guys, she’s even prettier up close,” Hongjoong said after he looked at you for a few seconds, causing a few of the boys behind him to laugh in response. You resisted the urge to smile at his statement.

“Hey,” Jiyoung warned and Hongjoong bowed to her in the form of an apology. 

“Sorry, Jiyoung,” he said. She nodded at him. 

Hongjoong reached out to shake your hand while you attempted bowed. “Oh,” you both said nervously. You reached out your hand to shake his. “Let’s make your next album great,” you smiled shyly. He nodded in response.

“Let’s do it!” he cheered, a smile spreading across his face. He walked back to his spot next to his members. 

“I’ll leave to let you guys get to know each other since you will be seeing a lot more of each other in the coming months,” Jiyoung said as she walked to the door and opened it. “Be good to her or I’ll make her give you guys high notes or inhumanely fast rapping verses,” she said to the guys before she left the room. You watched as a few of the boys shuddered in response to her words. 

“I saw their reactions. What did she say?” you asked Hongjoong innocently. 

“Nothing you need to worry about,” he lied. He waved the guys over and had them sit down in front of you, pulling up two chairs for the both of you to sit in. 

“Please sit here- I mean, you can sit down here,” Hongjoong said as he gestured to the chair behind you. You smiled a bit at his mistake. 

“So...tell us about yourself. Don’t worry about speaking Korean, I’ll translate what you say for the guys.” he said to you. “I’ll translate for you guys, don’t worry.” he assured the seven boys who watched the two of you expectantly. They nodded in understanding. 

You ran your palms over your jean-clad thighs and took a deep breath before speaking. “Sorry, I’m a little nervous,” you laughed dryly. Hongjoong translated what you said and you saw a few of the guys smile a bit and you heard an accented “Don’t be nervous!” come from one of the boys, which slightly calmed your nerves. 

“I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N) but feel free to just call me (Y/N) or LVNDR, whichever is easier for you guys,” you said. Hongjoong translated what you said easily and accurately.

“I used to live an hour outside of Chicago, one of the United States’ largest cities, so I’m quite comfortable with large cities.” you said before Hongjoong began translating. “I graduated high school a semester early so I could come to South Korea and help you guys and hopefully other artists out with music production.”

This started a steady cycle where you would say something in English and Hongjoong would translate it into Korean, until you ran out of profession-related things to talk about. 

“Do you guys have any questions for me?” you asked, looking back and forth from the boys on the floor to the one sitting next do you. 

“Hongjoong, tell her I like her hair.” Wooyoung said. Your orchid colored hair reminded him of the hair color he had when they debuted. 

“Wooyoung said that he likes your hair.” Hongjoong said. One of your coffee toned hands reached up to touch one of your orchid-colored curls as you smiled. 

“Thank you,” you said. 

“Hongjoong, ask her how tall she is!” the taller boy from earlier said.

“Yunho wants to know how tall you are,” Hongjoong told you. 

“I know my height in the American measuring system but I think I’m around 174 centimeters,” you said. Hongjoong halfheartedly translated what you said for the boys which caused the room to erupt in teases aimed towards Hongjoong. 

“Even girls are taller than Hongjoong,” San laughed. Hongjoong turned to look at the boy, a wild look in his eye. 

“Choi San, say anything else and you’re dead,” Hongjoong said, effectively silencing the boy who you now know as San. 

You leaned towards Hongjoong in his chair. “What did they say?” you asked innocently. He waved his hand to dismiss the question.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. 

“How old is she?” Wooyoung asked. “I know she said that she graduated early but I forgot the age that most Americans are when they graduate high school.” . 

“Wooyoung wants to know how old you are,” Hongjoong said.

“I just turned 18 internationally last November,” you said. “Before you translate for them, how old are most of you guys?” you asked. 

Hongjoong hummed and tapped his chin as he thought. “Five of us are turning 20 internationally this year and the rest of us are turning either 21 or 19.” he said. 

Your eyes widened a bit. You had skimmed over the part of the video that mentioned their ages and date of birth and had a feeling that a few of them were older than you but you didn’t think that all of them would be older than you. 

“So that would make you and everyone else here...an oppa? Like my oppas?” you asked hesitantly. Hongjoong choked on his spit and had a coughing fit and you smacked his back to help him stop choking.

“Wait what did she say? I swear I heard her say oppa!” Wooyoung exclaimed.

“Me too,” Yunho agreed. 

After you were sure that Hongjoong had coughed up part of his lung, he stopped to catch his breath. 

“What did she say?” Wooyoung asked. 

“She just turned 18 last November,” Hongjoong said between breaths.

“What else did she say?” Jongho asked. 

“She asked if we were her oppas,” Hongjoong said, a light pink spreading across his fair skin. Someone from the group snorted before the entire room filled with laughs. 

“He’s flustered! (Y/N) managed to fluster our leader on her first day!” San teased. 

Hongjoong frowned a bit, trying to hide his reddening cheeks, “San, shut up,” he said, a warning in his tone. 

“Why? It’s not like she can understand us anyways?” San said. 

“He’s not upset because you said it in front of her. He’s upset because it’s true,” Yeosang corrected San. 

“Can all of you please shut up,” Hongjoong pleaded.

“I guess I shouldn’t have asked,” you said to Hongjoong. 

“Don’t worry about it,” he said, putting his face in his hands promptly after responding to you.  

“Hongjoong, I don’t know why you’re upset. I’m glad she’s trying to assimilate to our culture. I think it’s cute.” Yunho said. “You can call me oppa if you want to,” Yunho said in English. 

You smiled as Hongjoong’s head snapped up. “Let’s not get too crazy, guys. We’ve all just met her.” Hongjoong said. 

“You’re the one that got flustered because of a word,” Yeosang mumbled under his breath. 

“When we get to the dorm, all of you are dead,” Hongjoong said. The members stiffened immediately.

“Should we talk about something else?” you asked. Hongjoong nodded.

“Please.” said before turning to his members. “Do you have any other questions? Questions that aren’t related to her love life?” Hongjoong asked his members.

“Does she still listen to any of the music that she produced?” Seonghwa asked. 

“Seonghwa wants to know if you still listen to any of the music that you have produced?” Hongjoong asked. 

“Of course! I listen to Loona’s ‘Favorite’, Chungha’s ‘Gotta Go’, and Loona member, Kim Lip’s “Eclipse” all the time. “Eclipse” was one of the first demos that was used by a K-Pop group and I had just turned 16 when Blockberry Creative asked if they could use it. My favorite production was ‘Dalla’ by (G)I-DLE and the song I’m the most proud of is ‘Endorphin’ by Crush.” you smiled. After Hongjoong finished translating, the boys looked over to you in amazement. After the initial shock, Jongho asked a question. 

“Jongho wants to know who your musical influences are and which genre you like to produce the most?” Hongjoong said. 

“I really liked F(x) and Shinee’s sound and how every song was different from everything else that was being released and how experimental everything sounded. A lot of their songs were released ahead of their time and started a lot of trends and that’s the kind of music I want to make. Trendsetting music.” you said. “In terms of genres though, I like making electronic music and music with really intricate melodies or stuff that you would hear in an American club in the 1990s.” Hongjoong managed to translate everything you said. 

“Any other questions?” you asked. 

“Have you ever seen any of our music videos?” Yunho asked in English. 

“I’ve watched all of your videos with the exception of the reality shows,” you said. Hongjoong translated what you said, Yunho immediately following up with, “Ask her what her favorite video and non-title track song is!” 

“Yunho wants to know what your favorite video and non-title track song is,” Hongjoong said. 

“I really like ‘Hala Hala’ and ‘Desire’. The vocals and rap are amazing in both songs.” you said. As soon as Hongjoong translated, you were met with a chorus of ‘thank you’s. 

“Hongjoong, can you ask her who her bias is?” Wooyoung asked. Hongjoong froze for a second before sighing. 

“Wooyoung wants to know who your bias is,” Hongjoong said. You could sense everyone lean in your direction to hear what you had to say. Even Hongjoong leaned in a bit.  

“For the sake of professionalism, I don’t have a bias.” you said. Everyone in the room groaned. They didn’t need to know English to know what you just said. To be fair though, you didn’t have a bias. You think that they’re all handsome and talented but you figured that it would be more professional to not have a favorite to avoid showing favoritism. 

“There has to be someone she likes,” Yunho mumbled in a frustrated tone. He had hoped that you would say his name. 

“Not even someone you think is handsome?” Hongjoong asked. He too had hoped that you would say his name. 

“I think you’re all very good looking,” you said. 

“That’s an acceptable answer for now,” Hongjoong said. 

You pulled out your phone to take a look at the time, 12:45 in the afternoon. 

“Guys, it’s been fun but I have to go soon. I have to meet up with someone in a half hour.” you said. Hongjoong sighed and nodded before translating for his members. 

“We’ll see you tomorrow though, right?” Hongjoong asked, his sparkly eyes meeting yours with an expectant look on his face. 

“Of course you will,” you smiled. You turned to face the rest of the boys who were starting to stand up. “It was nice meeting all of you guys. I’ll see you all tomorrow.” you said before bowing and leaving the room.

“Album production is going to be really interesting,” Hongjoong said the second after you left. Seonghwa laughed before swinging an arm around his younger’s shoulder.

“Seems like it.” Seonghwa said. 

--

You sighed as you exited your taxi, glancing up at the building you had only ever seen in pictures. You entered the building, immediately greeted with banners of the company’s artists. Stopping in front of one and smiling at a face on one of the banners. After looking around the lobby you walked over to the receptionists desk. “Hello,” you said, your native-sounding pronunciation surprising the receptionist. “I”m here to meet with someone.” 

“Who are you here to meet?” the receptionist asked before glancing over your shoulder at something, or someone rather. 

“(Y/N)?” you heard a familiar voice behind you. You turned around and smiled immediately when you saw who is was. 

“Fancy meeting you here, Changbin.” you said opening your arms for a long overdue hug. 

“You can’t be too surprised to see me considering you’re at my company building and you’re the one that wanted to meet.” Changbin said as he pulled you towards him, hugging you tightly.

“We probably shouldn’t do this here, a fan might see you and think that we’re dating or something,” you said. He hummed, thinking. 

“You’re right,” he agreed as he unwrapped his arms from around you. “Let’s go to one of the practice rooms.” He signaled for you to follow him to wait in front of the elevators.

“So how has my favorite rapper been?” you asked him as you waited for an elevator. 

“Very tired but also very excited to finally physically meet the person who has helped us produce our past two albums,” he smiled. You smiled at his statement as a door to one of the elevators slid open. You both step into it and watched as the door closes.

--

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