#he's fake so he's cis and trans and nb hope that helps

[coolspacequips]

Just thinking abt trans lance having such fit arms and chest that as a member of the itty bitty titty committee, he gets so flat he doesn't bind or cover up, with complete comfort and confidence.

I'm talking Sniper Aerialist Gender Euphoria, folks.

[mermaidsirennikita]

ARC Review: A Lady for A Duke by Alexis Hall

4.5/5. Releases May 24, 2022.

Viola Carroll has done much to live publicly as the woman she was born to be--including faking her death at the Battle of Waterloo, giving up her title as a viscount, and leaving behind her best friend, Justin, the Duke of Gracewood. For years now, Viola has been living as the lady's companion to her sister-in-law, assuming that she will live the rest of her life as a quiet spinster. Though she has no hopes for marriage or children, she has made herself content just to be her true self.

Until, that is, word comes that Gracewood was not only permanently injured by the war, now requiring a cane--he's also been hideously depressed and has become addicted to laudanum. Not only is this hurting him; it's ruining his sister's societal prospects as well. With much coaxing from her sister-in-law, Viola reluctantly visits her old friend in an attempt to raise his spirits. To him, she's a stranger--nothing more than a pretty, quiet young woman. To her, he's the man who once knew her better than anyone else, and to see him in this state is devastating.

As Gracewood and Viola become closer, the weight of their history bears down on her--as well as the limited prospects of any potential future they could have together. She cannot be his duchess, and cannot give him an heir. Yet Gracewood wants her, and only her. How can she ever tell him the truth?

I've been so excited for this book ever since I heard of its existence. I'm not normally an audiobook person, so the fact that I went for this immediately in audio form is a testament to how much I wanted it (and how much I need to give audiobooks a chance--Kay Eluvian did a great job with this one). The entire concept was really, really cool to me. The idea of a trans woman using the Battle of Waterloo to fake her death and transition the way she needed to? Her hero being her old friend who has been torturing himself with grief ever since her supposed death? (And no, Gracewood does not immediately recognize Viola, which I've seen some take issue with. In my opinion, it's pretty conceivable that with years past, Viola being declared dead, and Viola being a woman not even being vaguely on Gracewood's mind, with her change in dress, hair, and the use of cosmetics being taken into consideration... I think it makes sense, and I think historical romance has handwaved FAAAAAAR wilder shit than that.). Inject it in my veins.

But, and I say this as a cis woman, there's a level of trepidation that I think is normal to feel when you pick up books, especially romance novels, especially historical romance novels about trans characters. You want the difficulties Viola faces as a trans heroine to be acknowledged, sure. However, as someone who reads books about trans and NB characters with growing readers I personally know in mind, I can't help but feel a level of... worry. Romance is meant to be a fantasy for readers, a place where you can read a story feeling safe and knowing that there is a happily ever after in the end. It's not for me to say what queer authors should do with queer stories, nor do I want to dictate what trans readers should seek from trans romance; however, you would like to hope that a historical romance with a trans heroine can be more than tragedy and angst with a dollop of a happy ending at the last minute.

I'm so happy to say that A Lady for A Duke is pretty much everything I was hoping it would be on that front. Obviously, I'm not an expert--and please feel free to disagree with me if you read the book as a trans person and feel dissatisfied. That's super valid, no matter what your reasoning is. But generally speaking, I found this to be a super touching, thoughtful, and yes, hot romance that nevertheless lived with Viola and her identity. She's not unrealistically secure at all times, a caricature of a confident woman. One example I'd give is that she doesn't necessarily want Gracewood to see her without makeup early in their relationship, and as such she slips away before he can. She's not constantly miserable, but she has insecurities. She's also just... happy to be who she is. To be a woman, to wear dresses, to revel in her femininity while at the same time retaining many of the skills she learned growing up (fencing! She can fence and it makes A LOT OF SENSE). She's aware that she's pretty, even if she doesn't always feel like the prettiest girl in the room (who does). She's flirtatious, if not totally confident in it due to her inexperience. She's such a great heroine, and I loved her completely.

I think it's important to note that the big climax and major issue of this book at the end has nothing to do with Viola being outed. There is no outing here. The only person who "realizes" Viola's identity without Viola choosing to let them know is Gracewood, and I wouldn't call that an outing. It's him recognizing her. He is shocked, and there is a brief bout of deadnaming and misgendering as a result, but he is not angry because Viola transitioned. Nor does he really have a hard time with Viola transitioning. He has a hard time with the fact that he thought his best friend was dead for years, and it turns out she isn't, and he would've liked to know, thanks! Which... I get that. I also get why Viola didn't tell him. It's one of those delicious conflicts where both people have valid reasons for doing what they did. Until Gracewood realizes who she is, Viola's biggest angst is truly not to do with her gender, but with her guilt over letting Gracewood think she was dead and his despair and subsequent decline. For me at least, this was waaaay more compelling conflict than the "Viola constantly gets deadnamed" conflict I was worried would occur.

I also loved Gracewood. He's suitably tortured, both on a "hero is hot because tortured" level and a "this is a very good exploration of PTSD, depression, and addiction" level. Gracewood has plenty of reasons to be fucked up. He lost his best friend. He saw plenty of men die. He was grievously injured and as such has limited mobility now, in a society that doesn't accommodate or understand such issues. He also super wants to kiss the pretty lady with familiar freckles, though!

I enjoyed that Gracewood and Viola's relationship has a level of ambiguity to it and Hall just kind of let it sit there. Their friendship prior to Viola embracing her true identity is marked as something different from their romantic relationship that starts after she and Gracewood "re-meet". However, once Gracewood does figure it all out, it's kind of up to interpretation--did Viola have feelings for Gracewood all along? Did Gracewood have feelings for Viola all along? Gracewood is very definitively stated to be a straight man. He's not attracted to men at all. Yet Viola has never been a man, whether Gracewood (or she) realized it at the time or not. I kind of appreciated the way that Hall left this a bit up to interpretation--I could see an argument for Viola and Gracewood having been in love all along, and I can see an argument for their romantic love only really starting up once Viola was in a mental place where she could accept love as her authentic self.

It's also just a very fucking romantic book. It has some lines. My dude Gracewood can knock a lady out with the line deliveries. Viola was never a super sexual or romantic person prior to her "rebirth", and as such she's a bit new to everything. Gracewood is not and that dynamic was pretty charming. I've never been a big one for friends to lovers, but this particular version of "actually, I totally misread our dynamic for a long time, we are in fact super attracted to each other" really worked for me.

I've always thought that Alexis Hall was a talented writer, but some of his contemporary books have been a bit on the closed door side for me? Which is fine, a romance novel doesn't have to have sex, and certainly I can understand the delicacies of writing queer sex in a romance novel that is not only going to be read by queer people. There's a lot of space for fetishization and exploitation of queer sexuality in romance, and furthermore there's been a lot of debate about straight women writers kind of dominating the m/m romance space. (I will also note: Alexis Hall uses he/him pronouns and identifies as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community. Beyond that, I don't know anything about his sexuality or his gender identity, and I'm not going to make assumptions. Just wanted to put that out there as a kind of disclaimer; I don't want to lead people to think that this is a book about trans woman, written by a trans woman, when I can't verify the author's identity beyond what I've seen him disclose.). However, I have obviously made it pretty clear that I love to read romance novels with sex. It's my preference. I will almost never choose a romance novel without sex knowingly unless there is a hook that makes me want to read it anyway.

This book. Does have sex. And it is hot. I know that for some people the sex scene could potentially be triggering for some dealing with dysphoria (and the book could be in general, so please read with caution), so I do want to give a heads up that this is a fully descriptive, pretty explicit sex scene. I loved it. I thought it was very romantic and didn't take the chastely sweet~ route I thought it would. It's about the connection between Viola and Gracewood and how physically into each other they are ALONGSIDE their deep emotional bond, and I fucking loved it.

On that level, I also want to say that it was pretty refreshing to read a book in which there was none of the "Wow Gracewood, what a hero, you want to be with the woman you're in love with" bullshit we often see in pop culture. He doesn't get a pat on the back for wanting to be with Viola. To be honest? Once he's got his emotional shit together, Gracewood is really gung-ho on the whole thing. He's all about making Viola his and having a life with her. It's Viola who has hesitations, for many reasons. There is really no hesitation on his part on the subject of loving her, besides his initial shock over the recognition.

Aside from the love story, which was great, you have a fun cast of supporting characters. Viola has a loving, supportive family--Lady Marleigh is particularly meddling in a very "romcom heroine's best friend" kind of way, which I enjoyed immensely. Gracewood has an offbeat little sister who's constantly getting into trouble, but she's a teenager who's trying to figure her own shit out and maybe falling in love with women who are too old for her, so we forgive her. There are a couple of villains, and they are a bit standard issue, but to be totally honest, the emotional conflict is where this book truly lies.

I can see there being some room to critique in terms of the last minute big conflict and the subsequent scrambling. I did not personally mind it, as it felt very old school historical romance. It was kind of great to see this story, which is pretty progressive for the subgenre, being injected with some OH MY! A VILE ROGUE HAS ARRIVED! type drama. The book is pretty long as it is, and at times the pacing felt a tad bit slow, which is why I'm not giving it a full five stars. But please don't take that as any reason to not pick the book up. It's more of a heads up.

Overall, I would highly recommend A Lady for A Duke if you're in the mood to get a bit emotional. It's not a weeper. It's very fun. There's just a lot happening here, and it feels true, and I enjoyed basically every minute of it.

Thank you to Netgalley for providing me with a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[yurissweettooth]

I know it's been three days, but for the character ask: agnes and yuri cause I hope you'll enjoy talking about yuri and I'm curious about agnes!

WAAAH! You know me too well, I do love to talk about Yuri always 💖🥺 -----

YURI

Rate them from 0-10 (0 being least favorite, 10 being all time favorite): 1000000000000000000 (I love him I love him I love him I-) Sexuality HC: Demisexual, demiromantic, pansexual

Gender HC: Genderfluid nb (all pronouns/descriptors accepted but gets gender euphoria from certain pronouns/labels depending)

Fav Moment: UHHHHH... is "all of them" an answer? 😅I guess I like when he saves Kotetsu, I like the time in the manga where he has a nice chat with Pao-lin, I like in the manga when he's smiling while he has guns pointed at his face, I like in the drama CD where he's monologuing, I like the entirety of his hero schedule, I like his interview where he's having a sugar rant to a group of kids... just to name a few lol

Random HC: I always headcanon Yuri as a technophobe. Like, he knows how to use his computer to do work related tasks and research and stuff but if he was trying to do anything on his phone or use social media he wouldn't get it at all and someone would have to help him. I think a lot about how he owns a typewriter (it's in the back of his office at work) and in the schedule it states that no one has his phone number so he probably never uses his phone at all. He also seems like the type who likes to write a lot of things down on paper or print things out to file them away instead of storing them digitally.

Opinion: Well, I think it's no surprise to anyone that I love Yuri more than anything! I will probably be screaming about him forever or at least for a very long time. Everything is perfect from the (Japanese) voice to the look to the backstory and everything in between! I don't think a lot of villain backstories have hit me quite the same way did. I also love how flawed he is as a person, even in his own ideologies which seem to change depending on his situation or what he personally decides is right or wrong in that very moment. It's definitely interesting to see someone so tied to their own beliefs and giving themselves the moral high ground when they don't even seem to actually know where they stand half the time. I also love (and am caused pain by) seeing how outside of his crazed, intimidating Lunatic persona he is actually just this very sweet, gentle, depressed little sweet tooth dork who loves drinking mineral water, doing puzzles, talking to his plants, and taking care of his mother and who gets sad when he runs out of syrup for his coffee (as per the schedule and his wiki). I just love basically everything about him and would do anything for him, I can't wait to see more of him in season too, I might actually cry lol.

Agnes

Rate them from 0-10 (0 being least favorite, 10 being all time favorite): 6! I would probably rate her higher if we got to know more about her (seasons 2 pls...)

Sexuality HC: Lesbian or bisexual depending on the AU (and by that I mean whether or not I wanna revert back to my Agnes/Yuri shipping days for a minute skfdjslk)

Gender HC: Cis woman or trans woman, really just depends on the mood for the day for me Fav Moment: I thought it was really cool when she faked memory loss to help everyone, that was very badass of her. I also like the fact that she's apparently canon close friends with Nathan according to that one little hero info thing. I would like it more if we actually got to see them hanging out though. Random HC: Idk why but I feel like she's a bit of a party girl during the rare moments when she's not working. I think it would almost be difficult to recognize her outside of work because she'd be more fun and relaxed instead of her usual stern and intense demeanor. I feel like she's also the fearless type, not just in her job (like when she wanted to stay in a building that could have exploded just to get the shot) but also just in general, like the thrill seeking type. Perhaps that's even why she chose her job, she always gets to be right where the action is and be a part of it, even if only from a distance. Opinion: I really like what bits of her personality we get to see! Like every other character in the show she defied my expectations. What looked like the standard hotheaded sex appeal character turned into a competent and dedicated person who truly cared about the other heroes and the city despite her abrasive personality. I really hope we get to learn more about her next season!

[tearfuldaisy]

Hi, I feel really bad about this and I understand if you just don't answer to this, but after reading your last post I looked up the definition of truscum and I'm confused. I think you need dysphoria to be transexual but I still think non binary people etc can refer to themselves as transgender, because transgender means people who have a gender identity that differs from their biological gender. So, transgender is the umbrella term?Does that make me truscum? I'm so sorry if this is dumb.Thanks.

well, truscum people typically don’t believe in nonbinary people, because they believe you NEED to have dysphoria to be trans. i used to think this way too, until i realized i only started to understand my gender through euphoria and just feeling better when doing affirming things, because it’s hard to measure how “miserable” you feel as the gender you were born as if you’ve never known anything different. imo, it’s not about how unhappy you feel, but about how much happier you CAN be. so maybe youre okay with being called he/him, but being called they/them makes you much happier, etc. and if i’m reading what you said correctly, yes. transgender is the umbrella term for all trans people, and then there’s binary (ftm & mtf) and nonbinary (genderfluid, agender, etc, though some nb people id purely as nb). iding as a truscum is up to you, i guess? i wouldn’t though, most truscum i’ve encountered mostly get mad at nondysphoric or nonbinary people because they somehow think that it’ll make it harder for “real” trans people to get help. aka they like licking the boots of cis people as opposed to standing with their trans siblings. again, i used to be this way until i encountered more trans people outside the scope of tumblr and realized that other trans people are just... people. not enemies, not special snowflakes looking for brownie points (however that’d help lmao), just people trying to be themselves. and if cis people decide to be more oppressive to trans people, getting rid of the ‘fakes’ won’t change anything, because they’d still be against us.

this came out much longer than i meant to, but i hope this clears things up a bit! 

[hitchfender]

hi sarah! idk if you're the person to ask, but what should i do if i think i might be trans but i'm not at all sure ...? it might just be the quarantine but i'm really questioning everything right now

anon you’re an absolute legend and i love you already. i’m not trans myself, but i spoke to some people i care about and they had some tips and words of encouragement for you - i'm certain they’d be happy to speak with you if you’d like to message them privately. i really hope this helps! i’m sending you all my love. 💕

my incredible girlfriend advises that you seek a therapist if possible, and also says the subreddits r/asktransgender and r/egg_irl are great places to learn about the experiences of other trans people. trans youtubers can also be a good way to learn more general info, but she says she got way more out of reddit!

bio @they-them-pigeon is wondering a) what flavour of trans you are (binary/nb/mtf/ftm/etc), b) what has made you start questioning, and c) what resources you have already accessed. in their words:

It’s difficult to give practical advice and resources when someone gives so little information unfortunately - trans exploration is much more useful when it’s directed towards specific trans forums and discussions. If the person is afab they’re going to need different resources than an amab trans person. However in the vaguest terms given the information I have these are good starting points:

A little experiment within this to explore what gender might mean to someone - pan trans experience

Gender unicorn

Ash Hardell’s youtube channel and Riley J Dennis’s youtube channel

R/ftm and r/mtf are good for practical advice for amab and afab people respectively

r/butchlesbians is great for if you’re not sure if you’re a masculine woman or non-binary. I spent a lot of time on there and they have good practical advice too

r/questioning

r/egg_irl

Pronoun dressing room - the reddit name is r/transtryouts

and “people are asking r/nonbinary if they’re trans eleven thousand times a day”

madelyn @wishforwishes says: “you can say that taking the step of questioning your gender identity in the first place is a sign for a lot of people that you're probably not cis. or you could ask them to think: is it just the expectations of your assigned gender that you're so uncomfortable with (something that every self-aware person on earth should feel), or do you feel uncomfortable/deceptive/intrusive inhabiting that identity itself? (because those are some trans feelings baby!)”

and finally, my friend cassie writes “I think what I would emphasize is how like... normal being trans can feel. Like for some people discovering they’re trans is a massive upheaval in their lives that completely changes how they see themselves, and even have direct impacts on their physical and mental health due to dysphoria (there’s one Online Guy I know of who talked about how he had problems oversleeping and barely being able to hold food down throughout his twenties, both of which immediately started going away when he realized he was trans and basically disappeared when he started T! Which really shows how deeply dysphoria can run.) And those stories of transness tend to get emphasized bc of how novel they are, and also bc many trans people need to overprove how much dysphoria affects their lives in order to get access to the ability to socially and physically transition. But not every trans person’s experience is like that! Not every trans person experiences dysphoria, or experiences it to that extent. For some people it’s as simple as just... wanting to be, and it’s not something that overwhelms your life, but maybe if you could just flip a switch and have a different body for a while or just be seen as a different gender (or none at all!) you’d do it, and that’s enough. And at the end of the day, the most important thing I think is: this is all fake. Gender is a scam! Do what you want, nobody can stop you! The main goal of exploring your gender identity and figuring out if you’re trans should be to know yourself better and find happiness and peace of mind. Good luck bb! ✌️ Take your time, we’ll wait!”

anon, i’m wishing you the best on this journey, and i’ll always be here if you need someone to listen. love from me and all of us ❤️

[allocerart]

Hey I know Homestuck Day is over, but I redrew a group of fantrolls I made awhile ago and I’ve been thinking about them a lot now. 

The original on the left I did like 2 years ago, I liked a lot about their designs still, but wanted to tweak a few things.  Names and classpects stayed the same though.  Full list of names, classes, and descriptions under the readmore.

Also their all very gay/very queer because why the fuck not.

Lovlei Platon: Arlo sign, Prospit dreamer, Seer of Heart.  Everyone’s best friend.  Non-threatening and very friend shaped.  Sounds naive and innocent, but is very in tune with what people are thinking and very good at reading the room.  Likes to play match maker.  (she/her pronouns, cis girl, bi)

Auroch Koupre: Taurmini sign, Derse dreamer, Knight of Doom.  Very serious and stern.  Does not trust anyone higher than jadeblood.  Hard work is all that matters to her, and people minding their manners.  Has a weakness for pretty girls. (she/her pronouns, cis girl, lesbian)

Meikoo Rypton: Gemsci sign, Derse dreamer, Page of Life.  A physically weak girl who struggles moving around, but has made up for it by inventing machines to assist her in day to day function.  Her matesprits are a good help as well.  She hates being treated like she’s helpless though.  Make that mistake and she’ll send you hurtling across the room with her psionic powers. (she/they pronouns, nb girl, pan)

Vanri Damzel: Canga sign, Derse dreamer, Mage of Space.  A limeblood hiding out in a deep forest cave, yet still acting like a Disney Princess.  A Disney Princess with a a terrible rage.  They’re like a DnD barbarian.  But only when their friends are in danger, and they have no memory of it afterward.  It is both hilarious and terrifying. (they/them pronouns, nonbinary, pan)

Tallin Khifun: Lenius sign, Prospit dreamer, Witch of Hope.  Listen, this guy is just ready to throw hands at all times.  He loves combat and everything about it.  He wants to fight big monsters.  He will throw himself at them.  No matter how much his friends beg him to stop.  He wants to hone his body into the perfect fighting machine.  And also have huge muscles so he can BE REAL GOOD AT HUGGING. (he/him pronouns, nb guy, pan)

Avrani Vollur: Virra sign, Prospit dreamer, Bard of Mind. He lives in a library, surrounded by old lost tomes that few trolls ever lay eyes on.  He’s well read, but long winded.  He also adores puzzles and riddles.  His friends appreciate his knowledge and teacher-like demeanor most of the time, but his inability to get to the point sometimes irks them.  He also may or may not be seeking forbidden dark knowledge. (he/him pronouns, trans guy, gay)

Franzi Appell: Lipia sign, Derse dreamer, Prince of Light.  This is basically the Vriska of the group.  She’s a bitch.  And she knows it.  But she’s a smart bitch.  She has intimate knowledge of political systems and how to exploit laws and rules to the fullest, making her ideal for beating a game like sburb.  But she’s just insufferable most of the time.  She likes to start drama for the sake of drama. (she/ her pronouns, cis girl, bi)

Oratta and Methea Argema: Scorcer and Scorcen sign respectively, Prospit and Derse dreamers respectively, Sylph of Blood.  These twins aren’t a standard on Alternia, as they share one body.  Whether they are two grubs who fused at some point, or one mind that developed two alternate identities, they’re not sure.  But they make the most of it.  They consider each other siblings, and usually leave notes for one another to keep themselves informed.  Though the constant swapping can sometimes be confusing to their friends.  Oratta is the more light hearted of the two, usually opening the bottom set of eyes when she’s awake.  She’s a wild and free spirit who likes to take risks and try new things.  Methea is more reserved, using the top set of eyes when their awake.  They’re the type to step back and examine a situation before making any moves.  Everything is like chess to them.  (Oratta: she/her, girl, ace)(Methea: they/them, nonbinary, pan)

Kabara Venous: Sagiborn sign, Derse dreamer, Rogue of Rage. Kabara is that dude with an acoustic guitar that you meet on a college campus who takes philosophy courses and biology at the same time.  Sometimes he says a thought out loud without thinking first, but he’s willing to take criticism and learn.  He’s fond of music though, even if his blueblood strength sometimes gets in the way of his ability to play guitar. (He/him pronouns, cis guy, bi)

Thorne Jastor: Capries sign, Derse dreamer, Thief of Time. Thorne is a surprisingly calm indigoblood who is desperately trying to hide the fact that she’s so calm.  Often having to fake her rage and destruction to play the part.  But she hates it.  She just wants to chill, play weird goth music, and overthrow the establishment.  She also gets nervous during confrontation.  She has chucklevoodoos, but hell if she knows how to use it or what it does.  (she/her pronouns, trans girl, lesbian)

Glamur Hassel: Auittanius Sign, Prospit dreamer, Heir of Void.  Always taking selfies and obsessing over photography and aesthetics, he struggles to focus on real problems or other people sometimes.  He’s also quite hard headed and stubborn.  But when push comes to shove, he’s very reliable, and he gives 100% on any task he’s given.  (he/him pronouns, cis guy, bi)

Kirina Galeos: Pius sign, Prospit dreamer, Maid of Breath.  A girl who lives for the thrill of the hunt!  She enjoys chasing down and outswimming sharks.  She has an impeccable skill for harpooning.  She also enjoys crafting weapons out of teeth and bones of her prey.  She’s a bit of a show off, and has quite an ego, but it’s not entirely without reason.  She talks a big game, and she can back it up most of the time.  (she/him pronouns, nonbinary girl, pan)

[queerhargreeves]

I love your writing. I would die for you. Also, may I request some Trans Diego and NB Klaus bonding over ‘ugh cis people’ when Klaus is bumming rides off him.

Hi lovely!! I’m sorry this took so long!! I hope this suffices. Thank u so much for the request and the kind words !!

“Hey Diiiiii~” Klaus said singsongly, whipping around the corner to meet their brother in the kitchen, “I know you’re making breakfast, which no offense bread and scrambled eggs isn’t exactly the pinnacle of culinary artistry,” They jumped up on the counter next to Diego who was waiting for his toast to finish in the toaster, “but how would you feel if we went to go get waffles, yeah? I for one am absolutely famished!”

Diego took one look at Klaus who had their hands clasped together and a shit eating grin on their face and sighed. Didn’t look like his sibling was going to take no for an answer.

“Fine,”  He said flatly, “but you have to promise me you’ll get a side of fruit instead of hashbrowns though. That body of yours needs some form of nutrients.”

Klaus gasped dramatically, their hand lying limp on their chest, “Dear brother you wound me! But deal, I promise I’ll consume fruit just for you.”

“You good to go now?” Diego eyed their sibling’s attire - it was a more fem day for them it seems like. They had on a flowy, mesh, black maxi skirt and a fuzzy red cardigan unbuttoned on. They had an assortment of necklaces, their lover’s dog tags included, and black booties. All topped with a cat eye and red lipstick to match their cardigan. Clearly well thought out.

“Of course, I would never keep you waiting would I?”

The man just rolled his eyes and walked to yank his keys from the bowl near the front door, “Let’s go get your nutrients.”

Klaus happily followed their brother to the car, making it to the passenger seat before Diego reached the car.

“You know Diego, you’re looking more buff than normal. You been working out more?” Klaus turned to face the man as he got into the car, a small smile on their face.

“I guess,” He shrugged, pulling out of the alley where he was parked, “I’ve been training with Luther a few times a week now. He’s surprised at my ability to keep up.”

“Did you ever train with others at that boxing rink of yours?”

Diego glanced at their sibling, surprised that the conversation was about him for once.

“Uhhh, yeah I did a few times. Had a bad experience though and just stuck to helping with behind the scenes stuff instead.”

“Oh?” Klaus cocked their head, “Pray tell.”

Diego clenched his jaw, his grip on the steering wheel tightening, “I-I was uh, working with this new guy. Big. Probably 6’5, huge in build. After a half hour of working we took a break and I took my shirt off ‘cuz you know, we were working hard. And he saw my,” he pointed and dragged his finger in two lines below his chest, “and sorta freaked. Said he didn’t want to work with ‘one of those he-she freaks’. My boss was cool though, said his ignorance wasn’t welcome at his rink and kicked him out.”

“Jeez Diego, that blows. But at least your boss handled it well.”

Diego nodded, giving a small hum of affirmation.

“What is it with cis men and their fragile masculinity, huh?” Klaus threw their hands up in the air.

“I was at a party a few years back. Real rager, I tell ya! I met this cute guy and we were hitting it off pretty well. We had a few drinks, danced a bit. But then we were uhhhh…” They trailed off, debating how much they thought Diego wanted to hear, “we were getting pretty heated as one does, naturally. But he starts calling me this ‘sexy man’ and like ‘super handsome’ and all that jazz and I sorta just stopped him. I told him I’m not really a man and that kind of talk doesn’t vibe well with me. He got all pissy and started going off about how I make ‘actual trans people’,” They emphasized with air quotes, “look bad. And that my pronouns are fake and I’m an attention seeker all that other fun stuff. Needless to say I didn’t pursue him any further. I found another enby cutie after to occupy my time anyway.”

By the end of the story, they had arrived at the waffle shop. Klaus didn’t even realize the car was in park until Diego patted their arm.

“I don’t know why cis people aren’t capable of wrapping their head around the fact that gender exists beyond a binary. But I’m sorry you have to put up with that shit. You handled that better than I would’ve.” Diego’s voice was uncharacteristically soft, his expression gentle.

“It is what it is, oh brother of mine. Unfortunately, we have to put up with shit like that. Cis people can be the worst. But enough about cis people, I need two pounds of waffles in me stat!” Klaus patted their stomach, causing a soft scoff from their brother.

“And fruit, dummy.” Diego reminded, poking their shoulder.

“Yes,” Klaus grinned, “And fruit.”

[transfixingcharly]

Q&A: Always sanitary towels changing their packaging

Here for the great debate about Always sanitary towels changing their packaging?

Cool. Some basics first:

I can't speak on behalf of all trans people, only those I’ve spoken to and whose opinions I’ve read online.

I don’t often “get political” with the gender stuff on this blog because it’s supposed to be a space about sharing my experiences, but I guess this has been part of my experience and I’ve received lots of messages (on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook) about this particular issue. 

When I use the term “cisgender” or the prefix “cis”, I’m indicating someone who is not trans. (Cisgender has its origin in the Latin-derived prefix cis-, meaning "on this side of", which is the opposite of trans-, meaning "across from" or "on the other side of". (Some people seem to feel it’s a slur, but it’s no more a slur than “trans” itself is.)

There’s no way to leave comments on here, and honestly this post is aimed at providing a different perspective rather than a discussion space. If you’ve found this post via Facebook, you can always discuss your thoughts there, but please read the entire piece first. 

Okay, notes over. Let’s go! 

Q. Trans people don’t have periods, so why does it matter? 

Two things to note here!  Firstly, trans men will often still have periods unless they’ve been on testosterone for a while or they’ve had a hysterectomy. Not all trans men will be able to (or will choose to) access either of these options, meaning they’ll still have periods. (If you want to talk about trans men taking medication to stop their periods, we can do that too, but not here.)  Secondly, non-binary people may also have periods. 

Q. There are lots of brands who provide these products - why don’t trans people just use those brands instead?

You’re right, there are lots of other brands. This means that if the new Always packaging makes you unhappy, you have alternatives to choose from.  (If trans people are using Always pads, that’s because it’s their preferred brand.  The product’s style and fit won’t change even when the packaging does, so if Always is (or was) your preferred brand, the interior is the same, even if the exterior has changed.)

Q. It’s just a symbol - what’s the big deal?

It would be easy to ask you the same question, but let’s discuss.  Having spoken to other trans guys about the symbol on the packaging, I did find a trans guy who didn’t use Always specifically because of the Venus symbol (which was only added earlier this year) and the #likeagirl hashtag Always used for a while - he told me it reminded him of the person he was trying to leave behind. 

When I was still having my periods, having a monthly cycle caused me massive distress and dysphoria. Using pads that reminded me of the feminine aspects of my body (that I had no control over) didn’t make that any easier.  Trans people do buy brands other than Always. There’s Bodyform, there’s Kotex, and there are half a dozen supermarket “own brands” too. But if a person can only access a corner shop or a local minimart version of a supermarket, then Always might be their only option. Equally, trans people on low incomes might only be able to buy pads on offer, which Always often is. It would be nice for them to not have to see a symbol associated with the the female sex whenever they’re on their cycle. 

(History lesson: in terms of semiotics, the Venus symbol was first associated with the female sex around 1750 by an astronomer called Carl Linnaeus. He used the symbol to classify plants and animals, and was a pretty interesting Guy. Flowers calmed him when he was having a bad day, and he once publicly humiliated a mayor who had a fake taxidermied hydra! Linnaeus’ biography is honestly fun for all the family.)

Q. It’s just a design on the packaging, so does it matter? 

You’re totally right, it is just a design, so it shouldn’t matter. But if this thing that doesn’t matter to you does matter to a person trying to distance themselves from womanhood, then shouldn’t we try to make their lives a bit easier?  The symbol was only added earlier this year, and not much was said about its inclusion at the time. Nobody really commented on the new design until some people have said they could do without it, so Always are accommodating those who’ve fed back. 

Q. This product is aimed at women - that’s what the symbol is for. 

When Bic released their “Pens for Her” - a pink pen “with a great floral design [...] designed to fit comfortably in a woman's hand” - there was uproar. People rightfully pointed out that women didn’t need pens specifically for them to use: women have been using non-gendered stationary for years. Similar responses have been received in the face unnecessarily gendered products for years (there’s a whole Reddit devoted to it).  I feel the same argument should be applied to this. 

Q. Why are the trans community making such a fuss? or This is another example of trans people / the trans lobby making demands.

Nobody made any demands here - Always took on board some feedback from customers who asked why there had needed to be iconography associated with femininity and womanhood on products used by people other than cisgender women.  That’s all - Always acknowledged that the packaging could be more inclusive and made a change to accommodate their customers. 

Additionally, while a handful of trans people have said that removing the Venus symbol would be helpful, a vast swathe of commenters have been upset by this, meaning that the fuss, lobbying and demanding doesn’t lie with the trans community - quite the opposite. 

Q. Always are bowing to pressure from the trans lobby. 

They’ve removed one piece of imagery from one line of products, but they haven’t changed anything else. Their website header menu (as of 22/10/19) still advertises “Always Feminine Products” and has a section entitled “Tips and Advice for Women”. All of the photos on their website are of women too.

Q. The removal of the Venus symbol is erasing women from female-centric spaces. 

I can understand concerns about erasure, but it concerns me that the changing of a symbol on one brand of sanitary towels is causing cis women to feel that they are being erased.  (I spoke to a friend last week who said that she felt insulted that women were reducing themselves to “pictures on packets”. She said she was concerned that women were “placing their femininity in the hands of reductive symbols on non-recyclable packaging which is tossed into refuse as soon as it’s been used”. She said I could quote her message, but didn’t want to be identified as the risk of inciting ire.)

If the answer is that this is part of a larger problem relating to erasure, then I guess trans men and NB folks could have a separate line of pads specifically for them so that the original line (bearing the symbol) is unaffected? But then the trans community might be accused of wanting their own “special” products, which isn’t the issue at all - we’d just like to be able to use the usual stuff without being reminded of our other-ness. For Always, this probably wouldn’t be that viable as an option financially; it makes more sense to just not include this one symbol, rather than create a new line of products specifically for a minority, because then the trans community would again be questioned for wanting special treatment.  Which brings me on to…

Q. Why not just make sanitary products for the trans community? Why do the existing products for (cis)women have to be modified?

For lots of reasons. 

Separate products specifically for trans folks can present a safety issue. If products were available in mainstream stores that were aimed specifically at the trans market, transphobes would have an easy way to identify who to target. If the products only existed online then they’d be more expensive and less accessible. 

Additionally, the trans community don’t want to be seen as separate - we just want to be able to get on with regular stuff on a daily basis like everyone else does. The point of changing the design is so that the pad’s packaging is inclusive for all users, not to make a small group feel special. 

TL;DR -

Too long, didn’t read? Here’s a summary:

Always pads are (internally) unchanged, they’re just externally (a little) different. 

Their website and the majority of their marketing is still aimed at non-trans audiences.

There are other brands available to buy. 

A small group of people in the trans community politely asked that the packaging could be made more inclusive, but a large group of people have responded very negatively in turn. 

Nothing has been lost for the majority - the pads still exist, and Always are still working hard to support young women, especially those who suffer with period poverty. 

There’s so much more to say about this subject, but I’ll stop here, for now.

As I said earlier, this post is aimed at providing a different perspective, rather than another discussion space. 

I hope this was informative!

[nonbinarypastels]

About & FAQ Page

This page was last updated on July 31, 2018

About nonbinarypastels

This blog was created to combat REG (reactionary, exclusionist, gatekeeping) politics in the LGBTQIA+ community as well as other forms of harmful conservative rhetoric that’s become so common on tumblr through the spreading of positivity and information based posts. My goal for this blog is not only to validate and support LGBTQIA+ people (and people of all marginalized identities) but also to encourage people to be more accepting of others, more able to think critically about all issues, and more passionate about making a positive difference not only in their own lives but the lives of those around them.

What I post about

Positivity — Not only nonbinary positivity but positivity for all  LGBTQIA+ identities and other people as well.

Social Justice/Politics

Mental Health/Mental Illness

Critical Thinking Skills

Fandom/Media

Miscellaneous Other Topics

If you’re only here for positivity

Please blacklist the #not positivity and #discourse tw tags.

Things you should know before you follow this blog

This blog is inclusionist. I believe that all aromantics and asexuals belong in the LGBTQIA+ community. I’m also firmly against other exclusionary rhetoric that seeks to exclude any non-cishet (by which I mean non cisgender, heteromantic, AND heterosexual) group from the community.

This blog supports creative freedom and a safe fandom environment. I don’t care what kind of fiction people write/read or what they ship as long as all of their content is tagged properly and kept in appropriate spaces. While I think media criticism and having civil discussions about what we’re writing and reading and why is a good thing, I think the ‘anti’ community on tumblr totally crosses the line with their behavior which goes beyond legitimate media criticism and straight into cyberbullying and harassment.

This blog does not support radical feminism. Radical feminism is a harmful conservative movement that harms and attempts to control the lives of marginalized people. I do not support any form of radfem rhetoric.

This blog does not support trasnmedicalsim or truscum. These are groups that actively harm trans and nonbinary people by pushing reductionist, transphobic rhetoric and policing the identities of trans and nonbinary people.

This blog is queer positive. I will not censor the word queer or exclude queer people from this blog or the community.

Please do not send me messages

About any medical or life-threatening emergencies you might be having. I am not a doctor and cannot give medical advice and there’s also no guarantee I’ll be online when you send your message. If you’re in a life-threatening situation please contact the relevant local authorities (either 911 or your country’s equivalent) or get to a hospital immediately.

Calling out people I reblog from or who are reblogging from me about anything having to do with ships or fanfiction. As stated above, I don’t care what people ship or write/read as long as it’s properly tagged and not posted in inappropriate spaces. Any messages I get about “so-and-so ships ___” will be deleted.

About anything having to do with MAP discourse. I am a CSA survivor and am generally not comfortable discussing or reading about MAPs.

Telling me that a-specs “aren’t actually lgbt” or anything similar. You will automatically be blocked for being an aphobe.

Saying there are only two genders. You will automatically be blocked for being boring.

Asking me questions that have already been answered on this page. I made this FAQ for a reason. Any asks I get containing questions that I’ve already answered (or asking for definitions of terms that are listed in the glossary) will be deleted.

———————————————————————————— General Questions Do you have a question about what a certain term means?

Please check the glossary page to see if I have a definition already listed. If the term you’re looking for is not in the glossary, please feel free to send me an ask about it.

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/172930687066/glossary-page

Are you feeling down and need to be cheered up?

Please check the self care tag for posts you might find helpful.

http://www.nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/tagged/self+care

Why do you put image descriptions on your posts?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/165370079304/can-i-ask-why-you-provide-image-descriptions-i

Who is that in your icon?

Deadpool from Marvel comics

Icon by http://www.wadewicons.tumblr.com/

Do you take requests?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/172930396816/requests-page

Who are you/what is your main blog?

Considering how nasty I’ve seen discourse about the identities I’m trying to provide positivity for get and the things I’ve seen other blogs similar to this one having to deal with, I’m not comfortable disclosing the link to my main blog. I value my privacy and my safety and I hope my followers can respect that.

What are your pronouns?

Any pronouns other than it/itself are okay. I have no other preferences.

Are you a minor?

No.

Can people who aren’t nonbinary interact with this blog? Can cis people?

Anyone, nonbinary or not, is allowed to follow nonbinarypastels and reblog from us. Not only am I okay with cis people following this blog and reblogging from it, I 100% encourage them to do so. I think it’s important that not only do LGBTQIA+ people support ourselves and those who ID the same as us but that we support people of different identities and just as much I also think it’s vital for cis people to show that they support us. I think cis people reblogging positivity posts for people who aren’t cis is an excellent way to show that.

Can I interact with this blog if my blog is about ___?

I don’t care if your tumblr is 99% cute crayon drawings of pretty flowers or drawings of kinky furry porn, if you like the posts here or need them or want to spread the positivity with your followers I have no problem with you following + reblogging from this blog.

Can I share your posts on other sites?

Feel 100% free to share my posts on Twitter, Facebook, or other social media. Credit + a link back is appreciated but it’s not required. However, please do NOT upload my posts to sites such as redbubble, storeenvy, or other sites where you’ll be selling them to others.

Can I use your posts in moodboards/aesthetics posts?

Yes!

Where do you get the pictures for your image posts?

https://www.pexels.com/

http://www.unsplash.com

Why the pineapples?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168615228296/hello-ive-noticed-your-recent-posts-about

——————————————————————————- Call Me Out Would you like to tell me that the term ‘a-spec’ was stolen from autistics and that it’s problematic to use it to refer to ace/aro people?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/162255685756/hey-idk-if-you-were-aware-of-this-but-you-have-a

Would you like to tell me to stop including the ‘I’ in the LGBTQIA+ acronym?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161388049611/you-do-realize-that-like-a-lot-of-intersex-people

Would you like to tell me that butch and femme are lesbian-specific words and no one else has the right to use them?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169789232996/nonbinarypastels-since-i-keep-getting-anons-wrt

Would you like to tell me not to use queer as an umbrella term?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/165557176711/hey-uh-sorry-if-this-is-too-much-to-ask-but-dont

Why are you intolerant towards conservatives?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169509757921/being-an-intolerant-jerk-about-conservatives-and

—————————————————————————– Questioning Do you have tips for figuring out your gender identity?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160444273391/any-tips-to-give-to-help-someone-to-figure-out

Is it okay to use they/them pronouns if I’m still questioning my gender and might be cis?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/162316760041/i-feel-comfy-using-theythem-but-i-dont-know-if-im

I want to question my gender but I’m afraid I’m faking it all?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169375568051/hi-i-always-thought-i-was-a-cis-guy-but-ive

———————————————————————————– About Being Trans + Nonbinary Are nonbinary people trans?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160443055731/do-you-consider-nb-to-be-a-part-of-the-trans

Am I still agender if I have feminine interests/hobbies?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159863843416/i-identify-as-agender-but-i-also-like-girl

Can you be lunarian and agender?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159119628926/can-i-be-a-lunarian-agender-or-does-that-like

How do you deal with nbphobia?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161289280081/tw-transphobia-tw-ableist-slur-tw-r-word-do

What do I do if my friends are nbphobic?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161290197211/one-of-my-best-friends-is-a-radical-feminist-i

What’s the difference between being nonbinary and being a tomboy?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170485614676/im-having-a-mild-identity-crisis-whats-the

Can you be nonbinary and prefer she/her or he/him pronouns?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170449570882/hi-im-someone-who-identifies-as-non-binary-ive

Are nonbinary people to blame for trans people not being taken seriously?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/161287284091/how-do-you-respond-to-people-who-say-nbs-are-the

How do I deal with people saying nonbinary people are responsible for trans people being made fun of?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/167977849726/hey-i-got-some-really-messed-up-enbyphobic-anon

Is trans day of visibility for nonbinary people too?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159055092686/sorry-if-this-is-stupid-is-trans-day-of

Is there any proof there are more than two genders?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170985650804/sgaprivilege-sonoanthony-hatingongodot

Do you think it’s fetishizing for people to say they’re attracted to nonbinary people?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170815582801/whats-your-take-on-the-claim-that-mlnbwlnb-are

Am I still trans/nonbinary if I didn’t always know from a young age?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169845692030/hi-okay-so-im-trans-nonbinary-and-i-noticed-that

Am I still nonbinary if I never want to come out?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169159856571/can-i-still-be-nb-if-i-dont-plan-on-coming-out-to

How do I overcome internalized nbphobia?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169128988716/do-you-have-any-tips-on-overcoming-internalized

What can I call the nonbinary person I’m dating other than boyfriend/girlfriend?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/164729025088/hi-i-dont-know-if-you-guys-answer-questions-but

What’s your opinion on “there are only two genders” jokes?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169533948384/hey-i-was-wondering-if-you-might-be-able-to-give

Who is allowed to ID as nblm/nblw/nblnb? Do I have to have a certain alignment to ID with these terms?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/175370970607/hi-im-a-asexual-biromantic-agender-person-and

———————————————————————————- About Presentation + Dysphoria

Do you have any tips for dealing with dysphoria?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171870400516/urgent-im-a-non-passing-pre-everything-trans

What’s the difference between social dysphoria and body dysphoria?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171770067231/whats-the-difference-between-social-dysphoria-and

How can I write about trans/nonbinary characters who have dysphoria?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163261302706/hello-there-nonbinary-questioning-black-anon

How can I bind safely if I can’t afford to buy a binder?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160277656876/hello-i-came-here-because-i-wanted-to-ask-if-you

Do you have any advice about buying your first binder?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171412780521/advice-for-somebody-who-is-getting-their-first

How can I look more androgynous?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160850193236/do-you-have-any-advice-for-nonbinary-teens-who

Is it normal to want top surgery but not want to take T?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168600610588/is-it-normal-for-a-nonbinary-person-to-want-top

What can I do if I hate my voice?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169110950161/hey-i-am-non-binary-and-14-years-old-i-was

I want to change my hair but I’m afraid people will hate it?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/166569911301/hey-i-recently-came-out-as-non-binary-i-really

—————————————————————————— About Sexuality How can you be sex-repulsed without being asexual?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/159348049986/how-can-you-be-sex-repulsed-but-not-asexual

Can you be in a queerplatonic relationship if you’re not ace/aro?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171758800972/can-you-have-a-qpr-if-youre-not-acearo

What’s the difference between demisexuality and regular attraction?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160198336046/whats-the-differrence-between-demisexual-and-just

Is pansexuality transphobic/biphobic?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160201643591/hi-i-just-want-to-tell-that-i-heard-someone-say

Do bisexuals have straight-passing privilege?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163139939492/hey-there-i-was-wondering-if-you-can-help-me

Can you be asexual and still like masturbation?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171408739131/so-i-was-wondering-could-you-be-asexual-and

Can you be wlw and mlm at the same time?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171269548272/hi-im-confused-this-is-a-genuine-question-pls

Can you be nblw, nblm, and nblnb at the same time?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171158368762/i-identify-as-a-nblw-nblnb-and-nblm-is-that

How can lesbians use he/him pronouns?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170496057755/this-is-an-ignorant-question-so-i-apologize

What is the split attraction model?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169931000321/hello-i-was-reading-that-post-about-asexual-stuff

———————————————————————— About Coming Out

Are you looking for coming out tips and encouragement? Please check my coming out tag!

http://www.nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/tagged/coming+out

Is it okay to come out to my friends before my family?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160086167706/i-am-trans-and-came-out-to-one-of-my-friends-who

How do I explain being nonbinary to my parents when they just don’t get it?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168598203993/ive-accepted-im-nonbinary-and-my-parents-know

Do you have any advice for coming out as nonbinary?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171342286106/hey-any-advice-on-how-to-come-out-to-my-dad-as

How do I come out to my parents?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170782185301/hi-i-identify-is-non-binary-and-i-know-for-sure

How do I get my parents to use my name/pronouns and accept me?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/168598203993/ive-accepted-im-nonbinary-and-my-parents-know

——————————————————————————

Fandom & Fandom Discourse Related

What is an anti?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171868269706/what-is-an-anti-i-had-always-heard-that-anti

What have antis ever done wrong?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171966569929/shipping-isnt-morality-block-report-program

How can I deal with antis who are harassing me?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171974140371/hi-sorry-to-bother-you-i-was-looking-through

Do you support pedophilic ships?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170196527876/wait-you-support-pedophilic-ships-thats-gross

What’s your opinion about MAP discourse?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171209629491/so-what-do-you-think-of-maps-then-the-ones-who

If you’re not a bad person, why do you like bad things in fiction?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/164750728921/about-your-post-on-how-liking-certain-fiction

What is purity culture?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169710243376/do-you-know-whenhowwhy-purity-culture-started

What is your opinion on RPF?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/175123194126/i-wasnt-able-to-find-anything-on-your-blog-about

What is fujoshi discourse?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/174877862940/i-just-saw-someone-reference-fake-fujoshi-blogs

——————————————————————— Misc. How do you handle ignorance?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/160627538536/how-do-you-handle-ignorance-im-too-scared-to

What’s an invisible disability?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163099887223/hey-i-have-a-quick-question-whats-an-invisible

What is TERF/radfem rhetoric?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/169015697831/on-radfemreg-rhetoric

How do I know if I have an eating disorder?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171664946546/ed-tw-i-guess-mmmm-since-i-was-young-ive

What’s the difference between being squicked and being triggered?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/171341992144/um-so-ive-been-wondering-if-feeling-physically

How do you deal with bigots?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170516017459/exposure-to-identities-really-is-the-best-way-to

Why can’t someone be both anti-SWERF and anti-kink?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/170011993907/hey-quick-q-feel-free-to-ignore-but-i-had-a-post

When was gay used as a slur?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/166431435436/hello-i-just-saw-your-post-that-i-think-was-from

How do you find out about the free samples you post?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/163522947367/hey-this-isnt-about-anything-nonbinary-but-i-was

What is your opinion on self-diagnosis?

http://nonbinarypastels.tumblr.com/post/175045406707/what-are-your-thoughts-on-self-diagnosis-ive-been

[transrp]

is it bad that i feel like i'm fake or doing something wrong as a trans-nb rper who only has one nb muse out of like 6 blogs, 2 of which being multi? like i see all these other trans rpers writing trans muses and just sometimes i feel like i should be writing more trans muses and i feel wrong soemtimes because this community is amazing and i stil feel like im invalid or fake or be ashamed to be a part of it because im not yet comfortable with myself. and like... ( continued next ask )

& i do want to write trans muses & be loudly proud like other trans rpers.. but like i just get so anxious for i don’t know the reason..& i feel like im terrible because of it. & then i’ve been writing some of these characters for years now so like development has happened & like just i’m stuck w/ that like ive been writing these characters for years now, 3, i was 16 when i started, very confused about gender&sexuality felt different or outplace cause wasn’t exposed to lgbt community at all/much

You’re not fake and you’re not doing something wrong if you only write on non-binary character or even if you don’t write any at all.

You’re not doing anything wrong. There’s no rules or obligations for how many trans characters you as a trans person write. You’re not obligated to be a spokesperson for the community if you don’t want to be or if you can’t be one currently.

Everyone’s journey is different and goes at different paces. Some people can very quickly reach a point where they’re confident and comfortable putting themselves out there as trans writers creating trans stories or trans characters. Some people take a long time to get to a place where they feel safe and comfortable sharing trans characters or stories with other people. Some people feel more comfortable and more happy writing trans characters than they do writing cis characters. Some people don’t ever reach a point where they feel confident enough to write a lot of trans/nb characters. And some people just plain don’t want to be shoehorned into being a Trans WriterTM.

All of these are valid.

You don’t have to be ashamed. There’s nothing shameful about being at a different place in your life from other people.

And, honestly? Writing a trans or non-binary character can be scary. And that can go beyond the potential for harassment and transphobic comments. For me, though this is different for different people, I put more of myself into my non-binary characters and they become more personal to me. So the fear of rejection is greater than with cis (or even binary trans) characters I write. I still get anxious about some of my portrayals because I think “well, what if people not liking this character means they don’t like me?”.

So my main rp blog here is Hank and, while he wasn’t the first non-binary character I wrote, he was the first canon character I interpreted as non-binary, so I deviated from his canon gender. And when I first posted that headcanon, about three years ago (around the same time I came out as agender), I was shaking. Over time, I’ve gotten less nervous about writing trans characters, but I’ve never completely stopped being nervous. And sometimes, I feel like I’m not “trans enough”, either. Not really for any logical reason, just sometimes my brain’s like “hey buddy if u don’t aggressively remind people every day that your character is trans, then ur doing it wrong”.

Which, y’know, brings me to this big industry secret: A lot of people who are perceived as confident and loudly proud are also still anxious or nervous. Some people fake confidence to help deal with nervousness or low self-esteem. Some people are genuinely confident, but are still human and still get nervous. Some people had to practice confidence for years before they reached that point.

Your feelings are normal and more common than you think. They don’t make you a terrible person or a bad writer or less trans.

If you want to write more trans/nb characters, but don’t feel comfortable doing so in a public setting like tumblr, maybe try testing the waters in a private setting with someone you know won’t judge you? Try out some different character ideas or trans AUs for your characters over skype or discord or PMs with rp partners you trust. That might help you build confidence.

Sorry this got super long, but I hope it was helpful.

And, just to reiterate: You’re not faking anything and your feelings are valid. The number of trans character you write isn’t a measure of how trans you are and not writing more trans characters doesn’t make you a bad person or a bad writer. Everyone goes through different stages of how confident and comfortable with themselves they are. It’s okay not to immediately jump to a point where you’re ready to be loudly proud.

[fire-fira]

Tim Drake, Cassie Sandsmark, Eddie Bloomberg and Hunk Garrett for the character ask? o3o

Tim Drake

Sexuality Headcanon: Gaaaaayyyyy. This boy is SO gay. He may have tried having girlfriends, but it’ll never work out. Give him a boyfriend though, and he’s found his partner for life.

Gender Headcanon: Man. Not much to say beyond that.

A ship I have with said character: TimKon. TimKon for LIFE. Tim could be 180 and Kon would still be with him.

A BROTP I have with said character: It’s kind of between Tim and Bart (because of the ‘90s comics), Tim and Cassie, and Tim and Jaime. Actually may as well say Tim and his whole team, because the guy has a talent for getting really close to his friends to the point where his friendships are unbreakable.

A NOTP I have with said character: Tim/Cassie and Tim/Steph. Neither Cassie or Steph have ever really fit with him in my opinion, and it always felt kind of shoehorned.

A random headcanon: Tim is a giant gaming nerd and when he can get away with it he’ll play his video games on the computer in the cave because of the giant screen. Also, he’s a fan of the old manga series Banana Fish and was introduced to it by Jason (Jason has the full series and loaned it to him), and the two of them will gladly spend hours nerding out about the series or debating fine points of it and who they would consider for fancasts.

General Opinion over said character: lol I love this kid. He needs to sleep more and not work himself so hard, but he’s a good kid. Also, I think the League under his leadership when he gets old enough would end up REALLY tight-knit and would be even more of a force to be reckoned with.

Cassie Sandsmark

Sexuality Headcanon: Biiiiii. Said it once, I’ll say it again: she is WonderBi. She is one of the bi-est bis to have ever bi’d. The only way she could get more bi is if she had her costume redesigned to incorporate the bi flag.

Gender Headcanon: Woman. I haven’t put too much thought into it, so I usually see her as a cis woman, but I wouldn’t be bothered by seeing her as a trans or intersex woman either. Cassie would still be Cassie regardless.

A ship I have with said character: Whoo boy… This is a tough one, mainly because most of the time I haven’t seen character interactions between her and another character that feels like it’d just fit. That, and personality types of most of the others just don’t feel like they’d fit with her.

I guess if I was going to go with her being with anyone regardless of sense the possibilities would be Cassie/Raquel (ish, pretty sure Raquel would want someone more willing to step up to be a parent to her son though), Cassie/Zatanna (maybe), Cassie/M’gann (if in the YJ-verse M’gann matured some and made an active attempt to get past her abusive tendencies), Cassie/Raven (which could actually be pretty cute), or– and this one is really off-the-wall– Cassie/Simon. (For those of you who don’t know who Simon is, he showed up toward the end of the pre-N52 Superboy comics and the writers were starting to set him up to be Kon’s equivalent to Jimmy Olsen in Smallville.)

A BROTP I have with said character: Definitely Cassie and Raquel. I love the idea of the two of them bouncing off each other and getting into trouble.

A NOTP I have with said character: Cassie/Tim or Cassie/Kon. I just don’t like her with either of them. Every time I’ve seen either situation it has felt incredibly shoehorned, and she deserves an organically-formed relationship over being a plot device.

A random headcanon: 1) Whenever she says “I’ve got this” things are about to go wrong, either hilariously or disastrously. 2) One time when she said “I’ve got this” she was in the kitchen trying to help prepare for a party. It ended in the contents of the blender exploding to coat the ceiling, one cake catching fire so that it was a cake with a giant ball of flames on top, the faucet for the sink breaking off so there was water streaming through the air like a firehose, half-a-dozen raw eggs dropped and smashed on the floor, and a bag of flour exploding due to being pulled open with too much force so most of the kitchen had a coating of wet flour sludge by the end of it. 3) She was temporarily banned from baking for a month-and-a-half as a result.

General Opinion over said character: She’s a riot and deserves so much more attention and good writing. I used to be kind of ‘meh’ about her, but as time has gone by I’m really starting to warm up to her. I’m really hoping she gets some better treatment with Young Justice season 3.

Eddie Bloomberg

Sexuality Headcanon: Bi? Pan? He doesn’t really care, he likes what he likes and he’s not going to stress over it (though he will wreck anyone who tries to give him that ‘So you’re basically straight/gay’ BS).

Gender Headcanon: Before today I would have said ‘man’ hands-down, but after talking with @weirdnonsensefandomstuff I’m kind of leaning toward demi-boy. Part of it is that thanks to his shifting he technically falls outside all cis/trans/intersex categorization (because he could pretty much shift to have whatever he wants), and the other part is that weirdnonsense brought up the fact that it might lead him to question and investigate his gender (a point that makes a lot of sense to me). She put it pretty well when she said “90% guy, 10% unholy fires from hell,” and when it comes to Eddie that actually makes a ton of sense. So: demi-boy. (Though to make things easy he might just go with saying he’s just a guy most of the time.)

A ship I have with said character: DEVILFISH. I love Eddie being with La’gaan more than I can put into words.

A BROTP I have with said character: It’s between Eddie and Jaime (because Bugbutt and Sizzleshorts) and Eddie and Jason (because I can imagine all sorts shenanigans the two of them would get into, including blasting music from the Batmobile– no Bruce was not pleased when he found out).

A NOTP I have with said character: Eddie/Rose (I don’t like the way she tends to use people) and Eddie/M’gann (just no thank you).

A random headcanon: Eddie actually really likes how he looks with the red skin, horns, white hair, and tail. While he didn’t actually look bad before his shift, he’s convinced that he looked absolutely horrendous and secretly (or not so secretly) doesn’t want to go back to it. He’s also really glad to have the tail because he’s got a bad habit of getting into situations where he needs three hands and his tail helps immensely (and he’s not opposed to wearing jewelry on it if he’s going to do something like dancing for La’gaan, because the boy knows how to dance– yes, up to and including belly-dancing– and he’s not opposed to accentuating certain details while he’s at it).

General Opinion over said character: Like Jaime, he is the sweetest cinnamon roll to have ever cinnamon-rolled, he is my child, and I will defend him with everything I have. He doesn’t get anywhere near enough attention and deserves more love.

Hunk Garrett

Sexuality Headcanon: Tbh I have no idea. I just know that whoever he’d be with he’d be one of the sweetest boyfriends ever to them.

Gender Headcanon: Man. Haven’t delved too far beyond that, so he could be cis, he could be trans, idk.

A ship I have with said character: It might be pretty random, but Hunk/Rax. Hunk/Shay is pretty cute too.

A BROTP I have with said character: Hunk and Pidge all the way. I love the idea of the two of them hitting their stride and working in tandem on a problem, and being an absolute nightmare for others to go up against– particularly with their combined tech skills.

A NOTP I have with said character: Hunk/Pidge or Hunk/Shiro are the main ones I can think of. Hunk/Pidge because more often than not I see Pidge being written as a girl in those cases and I’m so set on NB Pidge that most of the time I cringe or avoid fics when I see girl Pidge. Hunk/Shiro because I am firmly of the opinion that Shiro should not be in a relationship with any of the other paladins because they’re too freaking young for him period.

A random headcanon: Hunk is Hawaiian, is fluent in the language, and nothing can incite a rant from him faster than someone acting like his culture is a gimmick for tourists. He’s a pretty laid-back guy, but after about the 5,000,000th time of having to see or hear about fake-y luaus or how his home is a ‘great vacation destination’, it pretty much destroyed his patience for that BS.

General Opinion over said character: He’s a great kid who deserves more love than he seems to be getting for the time being. He seems to be written off a lot as the one who’s ‘all about food’ just because he’s the big guy, nevermind the fact that he’s intelligent, resourceful as hell, and amazingly strong (in one episode the guy had his heavy-as-hell bayard in his hands while Coran was on his shoulders and he was still able to fire his bayard without it affecting his aim in the slightest). He just deserves better tbh.

Send me a character!