#he's so dumb

[jesperfahxey]

MASTERS OF THE AIR (2024) Part three

[dathomirdumpsterfire]

[dearmykalias]

I honestly don't know who I want to lure

I really imagine Lucifer as a intimited bastard who is the worst dad ever

And the only thing I see is the goofy lovechild of the Ineffable Husbands who suck at being a normal person

[nerianasims]

Tesla Cybertruck: A Tragedy On Four Wheels -- Adam Something

Elon Musk knows significantly less about manufacturing than the kids on my Science Olympiad team when I was in middle school. Also this thing is hideous, and not even in an interesting way.

[starsonmarsy]

me after typing mantras: i may have accidentally dropped myself

him: aww you dropped deep?

me: drops deep and almost faceplants into keyboard

him: surprised pikachu

[lea-andres]

His stupid little gay stomp into the distance, I LOVE HIM

[loehn]

Man if I had a nickle for an oc with their tits out to the world I'd have two nickles!

🎨 ARTIST: @unwri-ten !!

LOVELY WORK DONE BY MY FAVE ARTIST AUGH, I CAN NEVER GET OVER THEIR STYLE. IT'S SO CRUNCHY AND JUICY LIKE SHANGHAI ROLLS

Name: Saqanawa

[seldonhari]

Second prisoner. Hober Mallow. Death by Titan's prick!

Philip Glenister as Commdor Argo in Foundation (2021-)

[instantmiraclekryptonite]

I will never get over the fact that of all the jobs Xie Lian could choose to do, he chooses to collect trash. Like you could literally become anything and you choose to be a dumpster diver?!?!😭😭😭

[onedaughterofman]

Writing Sessions #3 (Cardinal Copia x g/n reader)

Summary: Copia's crush talks to him for the first time. For some reason, there's also a baby rat in his hands.

Tags: Fluff, Copia being dumb af, misunderstandings, some sexual innuendos (maybe). Copia is dumbfounded by his crush. Around 700 words.

A/N: Something short based on @tasty-ribz really cute fanart I loved it, so I had to write this ♥

Something squirms in his palm. Tiny fingers curl around one of his own, thin whiskers tickling at his skin. A baby rat, probably a few days old at most, rests secured between his hands.

“Poor thing! I found it all alone, Cardinal. Do you think it’s going to be fine?”

Your mouth is moving. Lucifer, how much Copia wishes he could understanda single thing you are saying. It must be important, because you seem high-spirited and there’s a heavy furrow on your brows. Oh, how cute you look when you gaze at him through your lashes, hands clutched together and shoulders shaking with each word.

Copia swallows, but nothing loosens the knot in his throat. The blood rushes to his face, causing a deafening rumble in his ears. Fuck, he’s all flushed and sweating, fingers lightly trembling upon being in your presence.

You are not only a Sibling of Sin requesting his assistance, but also the most beautiful Sibling he has ever seen. You are the one his heart yearns for, the love of his life. You and he are destined together, to be perpetually lovers as the times goes by.

Well, you don’t know it yet. One day, he’ll tell you. Just…

Not now.

“I was so worried, Cardinal. Papa’s cat had almost caught it before I did it, and the poor thing was shaking so hard. Hell, I think I’m shaking too…”

A hand is unhurriedly rested on his own. Copia swallows, sensing the thick saliva get stuck in his throat. He wants to cough, but somehow manages to stop. You are right, you are slightly trembling. A few of his fingers hold the tip of your own before letting go suddenly, as if the touch had burned.

And it did. You burn on his skin, almost as much as you set his heart on fire. Copia knows your name, he has written a dozen of love letters and poems dedicated to it.

Of course, he never actually sent them. He’s not even sure if you were the one who told him your name, or if he merely heard it around the hallways. Well, maybe he secretly checked the Ministry’s records trying to find it.

“Is that okay, Cardinal? We can take turns.”

“Turns?” He whispers, mismatched eyes completely focusing on yours. Big mistake. Copia feels as if the world had stopped, had come to a violent halt to allow him to bask in the beautiful sight. He notes your long lashes, bright eyes and the way your mouth moves when you smile at him.

“Yes, we’ll have to do this all day and night long. We’ll get so tired, won’t we? It’s not an easy task, we’ll end up sore and struggling to regain our breath.”

“Oh, Sibling,” he breathes out, mouth agape. The baby rat nests on his palm, snuggling closer. It’s so endearing, so tiny. Copia would be swooning right now, if only there wasn't a better view right in front of him.

“Would you like that? You can take the lead, since you seem to know what you are doing. I’ll do anything you tell me to, Cardinal! I’ll try my best!”

Fuck. Copia’s clothes are tight, extremely suffocating in all the wrong places. He gasps, mouth open, as he struggles to find the right words. Are you asking for him? Do you need him? If he could take you right here, right now, he would. The desire he feels towards you is too strong, it renders him a useless man, a fool.

Copia wants to hold you close, to fall to his knees and worship every inch of you to Hell and back.

“Sibling,” he murmurs, instead. He’s anxious, wheezing for air. “Of course. Anything you want.”

The smile on your face makes it worth it. Without notice, your hands are on his arms, softly squeezing as you gaze at him with dazzling eyes. “Thank you so much! I knew I could count on you, Copia!”

If the world had stopped before, now it’s in flames and about to break in a thousand pieces. Copia struggles to think, brain empty and mind running at full speed. He nods once, instinctively clutching the baby rat closer to his body. He can barely overhear the last words you say to him, before disappearing into the long hallways.

“Sorry, I’ve got to go. I’ll meet you later in your chambers, is that okay? I'm so excited. We'll be amazing together!”

Absentmindedly, he nods. Chambers? You are going to his private room? Oh, Satan. He has to clean everything, change the bedsheets, find some candles and wine, maybe? He has to set up a nice playlist, something to get the right mood.

Copia rushes through the corridors, long cassock swaying behind him. He’s so focused in his date he almost forgets about the baby, until it lets out a loud squeak.

Wait. Why did you give him a rat?

Copia isn’t completely sure. It’s okay, he doesn’t mind it. He’s always open to rescuing these little creatures from the cold and hunger of the Ministry. Besides, he can ask you tonight, when you finally meet him for your date.

Ps: someone save this man.

[conarcoin]

schlatt admitted to murder and no one voted for him because he said it in such a deadpan way and then next round

[astudyintheburningofhearts]

Merlin, trying to flirt: Hey, Arthur. What's your ideal date?

Arthur: Oh! Hm . . . I gotta say April 25th. Not too hot, not too cold. It's a perfect day to wear and do what I . . . A-Are you crying?

Merlin, rubbing his temple with tears in his eyes: You're so fucking dumb—

[lotus-duckies]

i like that the story has progressed from

"qually and gopal having to rely on boboiboy to keep them from dying"

to

"qually and gopal dragging boboiboy around because he's basically a bag of rocks like this"

[devoti]

naoya cums under a minute but keeps going until his legs shake and saliva starts dripping from his lips because he needs to prove he's your big, scary husband who's had sex for a thousand million times before (he's a virgin)

[h00kfangs]

Me when my favourite character is literally a moron

[demetera-kaziaik]

Nothing was learned. He drank the other goddamn love potion.