#he's so flashy and campy and i love him for it

[trans-queen-administrator]

During the talk with Phir Sē, it comes up that he has a daughter when he tells Taylor about how keenly aware he is of what he could be sacrificing to kill Behemoth.

And it's very odd to me that she's a hero, when her father is one of the men so monstrous that he's used as evidence for why the PRT should stick around. It's almost like the stereotypical superhero show plot where the plucky protagonist hero learns their dad is Doctor Evilman or whatever, but this is Worm. Later in the conversation Phir Sē reveals that he sacrificed family before in a similar scenario

And I can't help but feel that him sacrificing his wife and sons is connected to his daughter being a hero? Like imagine being her, and seeing your dad refuse to save the rest of your family because of the greater good. He could effortlessly step backwards in time but he stands there while their corpses cool instead. That could definitely crack a rift between them and cause his daughter to join the heroes in a desperate attempt to prove that you can save everyone. Hell, I could even see her dad letting her family die being a trigger event. And she's specifically one of the bright and popular heroes, one of the campy flashy ones like Mouse Protector. How much of that is because she can't bear to let herself be anything less than the ideal of a hero, because she can't stomach the thought of being someone who has to make a sacrifice like her father? Phir Sē says he'll live the rest of his life down in his bunker mourning her if he fails, but I think he's already been doing that. He's been consumed by the guilt of who he left in the past and how that ruined his only tie left, and he wants to do something that justifies his existence. If he kills Behemoth, the world celebrates, people are saved, and maybe his daughter will talk to him again. If not, he keeps living as he always has, alone and crippled by the weight of his actions.

I wonder how he felt, in his last moments. The bomb didn't kill the Endbringer, and Behemoth hunted down his bunker and killed him. He had to have seen that it survived, and while maybe he didn't fail so hard he vaporized the country, he didn't redeem himself, he didn't save anyone. He'll never know that his actions weakened Behemoth enough for Scion to finish the job, from his perspective he lost. I wonder if his daughter survived, and if she knows what he did to tip the scales of the battle. Would she even mourn him, assuming he caused her trigger and she knows he let her family die?

He liked Weaver because she reminded him of himself with her ruthless pragmatism and ability to make the hard choices, while also reminding him of his daughter with her idealistic nature. I think he saw a version of himself in her, one that didn't end up isolated in a bunker with no family left. One that has hope and still kept the humanity he feels he lost. She talks to him about working together with others, communicating, and he doesn't think it's something that's possible, he thinks humanity is a "wretched, petty species" and that infighting and lack of coordination would prevail even against an Endbringer. And I think he's right in thinking Taylor is like a younger version of him, because that's exactly what happens during Gold Morning until she makes them work together. He would feel vindicated, seeing Khepri.

Honestly I really wish he survived, he's such an interesting character and I would love to see more of him beyond a single random Tohu face. Most of this is headcanon but like, I think it fits pretty well, so who knows maybe it's the intended subtext.

[greetings-inferiors]

I want Roxas is smash just because I know that everyone else would think he's just as cool as I do. Like I love how Sora plays, I think he's so damn cool, but the general consensus is that he's campy and boring. Roxas? He'd by a rush down god. A top tier for sure. His combos would be nutty. He'd definitely feel a lot more like kh2 combat, which is a lot more flashy and cool.

Anyway I'm going to make a Roxas moveset because why not (this is Roxas duelwielding, based off of his kh2 fights and when he's playable in kh3)

Normals: Roxas is a lot more of a combo character than his somebody, so a lot of his normals cancel into each other.

His jab has 3 moves: jabs 1 and 2 are cancelable into up and forwards tilt, and are overhead swings like at the end of the kh2 Roxas fight cutscene against Sora. Jab 3 he dashes forward and swings both keyblades out in a scissor motion (a motion that pops up a lot in his kit). The slash itself has a hit box but the sweet spot is the afterimage flash of light he leaves where he was originally standing.

His down tilt is a fast scissor sweep with both keyblades that pops up. It isn't cancelable but it combos into his other tilts at various percents.

His forward tilt has 3 moves: ftilt 1&2 are cancelable into the smashes and up tilt, and are those cool spinny slashy things he does, while ftilt3 has him spin oathkeeper in front of him for a bit before slashing forwards with oblivion.

His up tilt has two hits: up tilt 1 is jump cancelable and has him swipe oathkeeper above him marth style, and up tilt 2 in cancelable into up smash and side and neutral special and has him spin oblivion above him Sora style.

His dash attack has him do that cool move where he dashes forwards, spins his keyblades around as he moves to the side, picks them back up on the other side and spins back around to recover. He goes a bit into the z axis in the middle of it which lets him dodge some things but not much. It isn't cancelable but at low percents it launches directly above him allowing him to follow up.

So with his smashes I will have to warn you - he can do them in the air. Not always, he only can in a specific condition, but it means he can quite easily pick up kills at the end of his combos. Here goes:

His forward smash has him do that one move where he floats in the air and shoots his keyblades back and forth in front of him.

His up smash has him spin up and forward before coming down. If done in the air he'll stop after a while if he hasn't hit the floor.

His down smash has him brace for an attack, in which point he is invincible (a la Lucas up smash), then slashes out with a ring of light around him horizontally, hitting on both sides.

Aerials (aside from the smashes lol):

For his neutral air he spins once, hitting opponents with his keyblades. It is very quick and quite weak leading to easy combo ability.

His forward air has 3 hits: fair 1 and fair 2 are just slashes forward which pop him up if they hit Sora style, and fair 3 has him fully spin around and hit his opponent with both keyblades like they're a baseball bat.

His down air has him do a scissor slash downwards, which is a spike.

His up air has him slash overhead, it's closest in function to mario up air. Whichever keyblade he swings depends on which one he didn't swing last.

His back air has him swing oathkeeper around for a small slash, and then oblivion for a big slash.

Specials: here's the cool stuff.

His neutral special has him turn into a beam of light and dash forwards, automatically locking onto an enemy if one is close enough. He's vulnerable while doing it, but if he hits an opponent with it he gets some benefits. He gets his double jump back (can you tell I'm a clairen main) the first time he uses it in the air, his next aerial/normal becomes jump cancelable, and he can perform a smash attack, even in the air, which will shoot light pillars out at some point (in forward smash 5 light pillars close in on his opponent, in up smash 2 light pillars follow up and hit the opponent either once he hits the floor or the moves cancels, and in his down smash 5 light pillars shoot out in a spiral pattern). It's a very strong kill confirm tool, as a lot of his normals combo into neutral special, some even cancel into it, but if he damages his opponent past the threshold it connects he struggles to kill confirm. Also this means Kirby can do that. Actually while we're here: Kirby's copy ability has him have oathkeeper and oblivion behind him, just like when Sora steals them in the kh2 fight. If you want more than that, he gets Roxas' spiky hair, or a org hood for the alt where Roxas has his hood up.

Side special: he pauses, then dashes forward a large distance cutting everything down in his way and causing a large light blast at his destination. If you launch someone into the radius of where side special sweet spots it can be a devastating kill confirm.

Down special: Roxas uses reversal. He slides around, and ends up facing away. When near someone this puts him directly behind them, and has invincibility on start up (like frame 3 or so, basically an air dodge), so facing Roxas in the air is a guessing game: do you fair or bair him? Bear in mind that this puts him BEHIND the opponent, so the counterplay to reversal is to approach him with bairs, but that isn't always optimal. If you have a big enough Nair that might work lol.

Up special: funnily enough this is the one I had the most trouble with. I don't want it to be that good for recovery, since neutral, side, and down special are all good (from best to worst). My choice would be that helicopter slash Valor form gets, you know the one that's like one slash, a pause, and then lots of slashes, but in smash the one slash is the first input, but is basically just a shorthop, if you input up special twice in a row you get the full thing, which goes a fair bit further, but puts you in free fall.

Throws:

He has his keyblades float behind him as he grabs you.

His pummel has him punch you in the gut.

For his forward throw he throws you forward, then sends three pillars of light to follow up.

For his down through he basically does Sora's down throw.

For his back throw he throws you back with one hand, then in the blink of an eye dashes and scissor slashes.

For his up throw once again I'm blanking. Maybe he throws you up, spins, collecting energy, before shooting out light pillars in a spiral to hit you above him.

Final smash:

I don't think there's anything else it could be tbh. Pillars of light start spinning around him, as he rises into the air, then the stage background gets enveloped in twilight, as he spins then starts screaming as he shoots orbs of light at all of his opponents. Maybe once he finishes he teleports straight to his opponent (or the closest one) with one last scissor slash for the road.

Stage: Roxas' stage would be twilight town. But not just any twilight town. It would be the end of days, specifically the platform in the sky, which would fly around twilight town like hollow bastion, and if stage hazards are on every so often gundam Xion will come and be a boss fight a la metal face or yellow devil.

Cosmetics:

His first colour is how he looks in kh3, org cloak, hood down, oblivion and oathkeeper.

His second colour has him in his twilight town getup. Once again oblivion and oathkeeper.

The colours then alternate, idk you can have one where he has black hair for xion, one with red hair for axel, one with dark brown hair for Sora, one with blue hair for saix (the blue and dark brown also means terra ventus and aqua are represented lol). Maybe a white one for xemnas? Idk.

But the last cloaked alt (it would probably be seven) has him with his hood up. Because that's sick as hell and the alt that I'd play.

Oh also one of the alts uses two sticks. Because I said so.

For his victory animations:

First one: him, Axel and Xion are laughing on the clock tower eating ice cream. Axel hits his back while laughing, causing him to drop his winner ice cream stick. They all laugh it off, and the animation loops with them goofing off.

Second: the animation where he first uses oblivion and oathkeeper in kh2, just before axel says TWO?!. He brings them out, one by one, then poses.

Third: he blasts in, creating a cloud of dust, the either removes his hood (if an org cloak alt), or adjusts his neck, spins his keyblades around, and looks vaguely triumphant.

Now the juicy stuff:

IF SORA AND ROXAS ARE IN A MATCH:

Sora wins: he wakes up in his cocoon, walks out and yawns, before smiling. Maybe even Donald goofy and jiminy show up to congratulate him.

Roxas wins: looks like my summer vacation is... Over *looks at Sora in the cocoon*

Sora and Roxas are on the same team, and win:

Sora surfaces in destiny islands, sees Kairi, they smile at each other, then Sora becomes Roxas and Kairi becomes namine, just like in kh2's ending.

If the stage is hollow bastion, and dive to the heart occured:

Sora wins, Roxas loses: the "you're a good other" sequence plays, before Sora returns to the world that never was, and looks up at kingdom hearts.

Roxas wins, Sora loses: the scene where Roxas pounds his keyblades on Sora's keyblade, Sora loses his footing, Roxas hits the kingdom key aside, and Stabs it into the ground, looking at Sora angrily.

If the stage is twilight town:

Roxas wins, Xion was beaten (if stage hazards were turned on): Xion dies in Roxas' arms. Fuck you days gets spoilt MWAHAHAHAHA

Sora wins, Roxas loses: the scene where Sora gets on the Train and doesn't know why he's crying.

Also the song list would include songs outside of just kingdom hearts 1: the other promise, tension rising, vector to the heavens, the 13th struggle, lord of the castle, literally every xemnas theme, rage awakened, nachtflugle; just to name a few. Also one winged angel can play on kingdom hearts stages.

Anyway that's basically it Roxas is my favourite character and I want him in smash so badly.

[just-an-enby-lemon]

While this is not really truth for all, a lot of Batman Rogues would be great Ace Attorney prosecutors because they just have the flashy outfits and easily adaptable gimmicks.

Harvey of course is the best example. He has a cool outfit, the duality theme would work great and the coin visuals!!! Also he IS a lawyer and I do believe that before becoming the D.A Harvey already was a prosecutor so it's basically cannon. Also he is the only one who can sorta fill the role of a prebiusly existent prossecutor as his connection with Bruce and internal turmoil fits Miles like a glove (slrly Miles could be Phoenix Two-Face in a Batman AU easily of course with redemption arc and shippy lens but still).

Selina has the perfect witness energy but she also fits a prossecutor really well with her way of twisting words and her whip (a fundamental instrument to any good prosecutor as demonstrated by my favorite characther Fransiska Von Karma herself). Also she would love to mess with Bruce just cause.

Riddler while not having a one to one parallel has the charm, the campy suit, the punny name (very important) and the personality to bolt. I can imagine him using the cane as part of his sprites either twirling it or pointing it menancingly or just pointing it slightly with a smirk. Also his gimmick would probably be answering everything with riddles and also just being really rude (a thing prossecutors excel).

Harley and Joker also fit. They work great as both witness and prossecutors. Specially Harley because she has a very trademark mallet and personal objects are really good to AA prosecutors specially if they can hurt the defense attorneys. Fransiska did whip Phoenix till he passed out on their first trial after all. Trowing cards is also a good gimmick. Joker would possibly laugh a lot. I think they would be a duo. Later Harley would either go solo or partner up with Ivvy.

Ivvy is actually perfect because she can be sympathetic with her enviromental reasons while still being really mean. On the other hand I don't know till what extend her gimmick would work so maybe having Harley as her co-concil for the zanny stuff would be good for both of them.

Bane with his luchador mask, maybe his muscles are bigger when he is winning the case and when he is losing they get lower as if he has less vennon in his boodstein?

That are just some of my ideas. But there is a huge relm of possibilities. And I didn't even got to the Batman as Defense Attorneys (or spirit channelings or magic girl sideckick or cop).

[glynnisi]

Marvel "Solo" Films- Unpopular Opinion

I don't know if there will be a 3rd solo/stand alone Black Panther film, but so far I'd say the Black Panther movies are the most consistent stand alone films in the MCU.

Black Panther was a cultural phenomenon with one of the best villains in the entire MCU. The cast, the world-building, COSTUMES, music. The only downside was that the 3rd act fight was dark. Wakanda Forever was a meaningful study in grief with perhaps the best teaser trailer EVER. Again, great cast, music, costumes, world-building. HEART. Namor was compelling. A little overstuffed w Iron Heart & Val on top of well-done Talokon. M'Baku stands out in both films. Nakia, Ramonda, Okoye & the Dorae. The tone from one film to the other is CONSISTENT.

Iron Man trilogy- the first Iron Man movie was awesome. Darker, grittier than much of the rest of the MCU. RDJ becoming Tony Stark. Cool suits/tech. Funny. Sad. Awesome. And then... the sequels kind of sucked. Yes, they had cool tech & stunts & RDJ carried them. But Tony pissing the suit? Bird? Fake Mandarin? *Cringe* They were bad.

My beloved, Captain America. Chris Evans did a great job as Steve Rogers. More nuanced & less flashy/quippy than Tony Stark, but great. CATFA was a sweet little comics movie w vintage vibe. Red Skull is a campy villain done as well as they could. Pretty good movie, not groundbreaking. BUT THEN- Captain America the Winter Soldier happened. It made Cap a badass. Fight scenes were AMAZING. Elevator scene! Cap & WS in the streets & at the end! Cap vs Quinjet! Nick Fury car chase. Black Widow badassery. Winter Soldier was scary & Hydra menacing. A tight, well-directed, well-written, well-edited, overall great FILM. Best of the MCU. PEAK Steve Rogers characterization. Yes. LOVED CATWS. So, then, Marvel said... "fuck Steve Rogers and his fans" (forever bitter & fuck you too Marvel). "RDJ's aging out & he makes $$$$. Let's give him Cap's 3rd film cuz BatmanVSuperman is coming & we're scared." IF you look at CACW as a Cap film, then Tony would be the villain. He's the 3rd act fight, the other face on the poster, the one trying to kill Steve. But, it's NOT a Cap film because Marvel couldn't suck RDJ off enough & could never nuance Tony's lack of emotional control as villainous. Nope. They made him Wooby crying out for his Mama. Waah! It's Avengers 2.5. It introduces Spiderman & Black Panther. It features every Avenger. It starts w Tony's early life trauma/loss of his parents/intro of his loving mom. (NO Sarah Rogers in Cap3, tho.) Then his guilt over lying & making Ultron & nearly ending the world. The longer end scene is Tony tending to his BF's injuries & sulking over Steve's apology. THEN we get a glimpse of Steve rescuing his friends from The Raft. Steve BARELY had more screen time than Tony in supposed Cap3. So, it's not a stand alone film. Cap fans were robbed.

The Thor films? Well. Uneven is an understatement. 1st Thor is kind of like the first Cap movie. Different tone. Deals well with campy comic elements. Branagh directed it as Shakespearean dramedy in space. Asgard is beautiful. Movie was made for the female gaze (like Mr. Hemsworth) and is a female fan fave. Thor the Dark World... is a dull follow-up. Malekith is the dullest villain ever. Dark Elves are so generic looking it's sad. If they'd been done differently, it could've had real menace. Lots of people are afraid of the dark, after all. Instead, Dark World is the most panned of all early Marvel films. Ragnarok is its polar opposite. Bright, colorful, comic-beautiful, but too funny. There's zero gravity to anything. Asgard explodes? Time for another joke. It's a fave, especially male fans. Thor is more badass in it, too. Loki is great. The faux tease of World War Hulk had fanboys delirious. And then there was Love & Thunder. Oh, L&T. Female fans were so excited for Mighty Thor/Jane Foster. Male fans were delirious that Gorr was coming & being played by Christian Bale. And, it's a huge flop. Again, comics beautiful. Too quippy, Taika. Not dark enough/wasted Gorr. Honestly, I enjoyed the kids/kiddishness because we took our son & he loved all that.

AntMan? The first was well done. Offbeat. Paul Rudd is CHARMING. Luis was the best thing in it. Scott's love for his daughter gave it HEART. Funny & fun. Great tone, though villain was meh. AntMan & the Wasp? Less fun. In big part that's because there were cast members phoning it in. Fishburne doesn't realize he was in it, FFS. Positive fam dynamic was too cheesily played. Meh. Then, Quantumania. Wait that may be the biggest flop of all MCU now. No stakes. No LUIS??? Exposition that something's coming? Lots of "care about these quirky characters you just met" and "listen... we're telling you Kang is bad... what? why should we show you?" Sigh. And... visuals were murky when the Quantum Realm should be vivid and sharp and vibrant and the most important element of the film.

Marvel is lucky so many fans have good imaginations and make their characters better than they did.

[sammysdewysensitiveeyes]

pyro and avalanche!

You know me too well.

Which one is more fond of scary movies: Avalanche. Pyro enjoys some of the gothic-style ghost or vampire movies, or anything with a good story, but gets annoyed by slashers or anything that he perceives as a "brainless gore fest." Avalanche is willing to watch any horror movie, and will just laugh at it if it's bad. He's more interested in being scared, Pyro wants style.

Which one gets the most excited about Halloween: Hmm....from what I've read online (assuming that's accurate), Halloween isn't really a big deal in Australia, and isn't really celebrated at all in Greece, outside of influence by expats and tourists. And Trick or Treating is a recent thing in Australia and wasn't really a custom before, so I headcanon that Pyro never did it as a child. But I think they both enjoy the costumes, because Pyro loves an excuse for a flashy outfit (he inevitably finds the "sexy" costume option, even if he personally has to a cut a deep V-neck into whatever he is wearing), and Avalanche is reminded of Apokries, the Greek festival season leading up to Lent. I think Avalanche likes handing out candy to kids. He spent so many years as a terrorist, it makes him feel good to do some small, nice thing for kids (especially something easy with no personal sacrifice on his part).

Which one would be more likely to survive the apocalypse: Avalanche, because he knows how to garden, and growing your own food is a big step forward for survival. He could also easily bury himself far below the earth if the apocalypse came in the form of a nuclear strike.

Which one would literally kill for the other: Both are equally likely to do that. They are basically Homer here:

Which one likes to scare or startle the other: I'm gonna say neither, actually. They are both violent dudes who have been through enough shit to probably have some kind of PTSD, they don't do that to each other. Both out of respect, and for the practical reason that they don't want to burn or shake their house down.

Which one is more likely to need comforting when they get spooked: Pyro pretends to be scared as an excuse to snuggle in close.

Which one always puts on a brave face: Avalanche is very stoic.

Which one would be more dangerous if they suddenly became violent: Both, really. I sometimes think Pyro tends to be a bit more vicious, but they are both criminal assholes and murderers with very dangerous powers.

Which one would be more likely to commit a crime: Boooooooth! They love crime! They'll get mad if one person commits crimes without the other, it's worse than cheating to them.

Which one believes in ghosts: Pyro. Or at least he really wants to believe. Gothic romance novelist loves the aesthetic of wandering around a haunted manor or possibly castle.

Which one likes to watch spooky show on television: If it's something like Haunting of Hill House, or any Mike Flanagan show with a lot of drama along with the scares, or campy fun like American Horror Story, then Pyro. Avalanche likes making fun of ghost hunter shows.

Which one would propose the idea of holding a seance: Also Pyro. It sounds "romantic" to him, and he wants to talk to a ghost. Especially if that ghost has an interesting story that he can turn into a best-selling novel.

Which one has nightmares more often: I'm gonna say Avalanche here, just because he seems so stoic and serious. Pyro will talk about stuff more openly, which is kind of a release, Avalanche bottles things up and it leads to nightmares.

Which one would want to explore a real haunted house: Pyro! Again, the whole aesthetic, and the possibility of actually meeting a real ghost, or at least having some kind of spooky encounter. Avalanche is mostly bored, and has practical explanations for all the cold spots and creaking floors. But he'll go along with it for the promise of having sex in a haunted house, because Pyro would absolutely want to do that.

[slime-stew]

samus cannot approach. she is slow and has poor air mobility and doesn't have the breadth of offensive options like she does neutral or defensive options. samus being reactive at midrange or following up behind missile is about as active as she gets. samus is widely considered a mid tier just barely in the top half of the cast. you can, in spite of this, enjoy playing samus, given the character has a unique playstyle and considering the character may hold special meaning for the player

falco can approach. he has one of the fastest walk speeds and some of the best vertical mobility in the game. he also has some pretty fast lasers that can stuff any possible approach, and let him close the distance. his combo game is likewise some of the best in the game, especially given his frame 1 shine and his lingering 20 frame spike dair (which can combo into each other). falco is widely regarded as a top 5 at worst character, and for much of the game's life was #2. his losing matchups are still considered about 6/4 at worst. falco can play a patient neutral-focused game with lasers, or can go in with flashy combos. you can also sit at the edge of the stage, refusing to approach, jumping away and shooting lasers, making approaching only barely possible. thanks to falco's vertical mobility, he can run away as soon as his opponent is finally within scrapping range, which i will add is still a strong position for falco to be in - even a close range shffl will stuff most options, and allow falco to follow up. you can, in spite of this, enjoy playing falco, given the character has a unique playstyle and considering the character may hold special meaning for the player

and yet, falco is considered the way cooler character. spacie mains will complain that the samus play is unable to approach, and is forced to slowly walk forward, not miss any powershields, maybe shoot a missile, and somehow get in on falco. falco can dictate the pace of the match. being the character with speed (more than samus, anyway) means you are not punished for approaching in any way that matters. even sitting in center stage lasering is still largely active play - you are keeping stage control, standing your ground, and keeping yourself flexible enough to punish poorly spaced moves or to give up space in a disadvantageous position.

so then, begs the question - if you, the top tier with options, choose not to play the game, why do you blame the low tiers for oppressing you? what is a laser if not oppressive stage control? is going across the entire stage in less than a second too slow? what would make you engage with your opponent, the best projectile and dair in the game won't? is there something better outside the game, something intrinsic to playing this way that you enjoy? you seem to complain about lame low tiers - they were not the ones making the choice. a gameplan revolving around not playing the game sounds counterintuitive to the supposed love for the game that spacies have (i would say fastfallers, but many falcons do seem to also enjoy the game). i thought we hated slow, noninteractive campy gameplay, the one so characteristic of those damn low tiers? but it's necessary when falco does it, of course - years of being one of the most popular characters for competitive play (plus the countless players who have successfully gotten into major top 8's with the character, or even won tournaments with him) have shown falco is more than capable at the top level. 2 of the 5 gods played falco, and had drastically different playstyles. falco is versatile in a way many characters can't be. choosing to be lame will always be less respectable than being born lame. what then, drives someone to self sabotage their own enjoyment. could it be for money? probably not, given the track record of melee pot bonuses being barely enough to pay for some late night pancakes and the ride back home. even in fighting games - hell, even in platform fighters, there are games with actual prizepools. so, is it bragging rights? in a game so focused on looking sick with your dope ass schmovement and nutty mindgames, sitting there and shooting your gun until the timer runs out sounds pretty uncool. melee famously banned a few techniques for being uncool as is - ledgegrab limits limit a character like jigglypuff fox or shiek from planking ad infinitum, and wobbling famously turned melee into a 200bpm cutscene. if puff on the ledge and a wobbling pools menace ice climber are killing the game, why are you any different? why are you so much better for choosing a character who sinks like a rock? if it's not to look cool, is it at least for the satisfaction of seeing the win screen, and telling your pools captain that it was a "quick" 2-0? that seems a bit depressing - if you want to see a game! you could queue into unranked as bowser and try to see how fast you can get 10 "wins" in a row. additionally, this inevitably falls apart when you consider the number of netplay falcos sitting by themselves, alone in their room, camping for no ELO and no calculated win. is it that simply chasing a win screen by any means necessary is its own victory? that does admittedly fall apart in ranked but if you're relying on % lead timeouts then you are literally wasting everyone involved's time on the level of puff peach. you could play against a level 1 cpu if you wanted that (they can be pretty tough with their impenetrable jab 1>jab 1 combos, but lasers beat that too).

if you want to play the game, play the game. if you don't want to play the game, that's fine. there are some really cool characters that can not play the game in various intentional and unintentional ways (puff and bowser respectively). but then don't complain that you are being held down. you are holding your own head underwater while complaining that the guy using floaties half a pool away is ruining your fun. fox does this shit too but like everyone knows he's good and laser is slightly less terrible because at least it doesn't do hitstun but he is also definitely very fucking fast which sucks but if you get a hold of him its sooooo fun beating him up. i get no satisfaction from grabbing that dumb bird who has shot me 400 times. i have no lame bones in my body i just don't have any sick ones. i got adhd i can't be sitting around shooting lasers it is mentally painful to do so. i barely even fucking grab and i def dont chaingrab cuz being optimal is for people who win money and if neither of us are winning shit i at least want to have had a good time. go play like happy chaos in strive or some shit you can shoot your gun from far away and instead of silently malding people will actively complain about you. stop pretending you are so cool and epic and full of schmixes. you are unpleasant to fight and like i don't love every matchup but at least when i lose i can be like "okay maybe next time i will throw out a nair when i'm above the platform but to their side" and i can make my little adjustments tailored to how i enjoy fighting in the fighting game. also when people complain that they should have camped harder because they lost playing like that. you lost because you gave up your advantage and all they did was play the game normally and go for safe punishes and whatever. if you are limiting your options you have no leg to stand on. fuck off. play the video game

[hopeshoodie]

What would the lis favourite activity or ride be at the amusement park?

Arjun: Tilt-A-Whirl. He gets nauseous on bigger rides and gets headaches from wooden rollercoasters, which is a bummer because he wants to like carnival rides and will go on them if MC or Elijah wants to for the sake of having fun with them. But Tilt-A-Whirl is just easy enough where he has fun on the ride whilst not getting overwhelmed. Plus he loves throwing himself against his partner and trying (and failing) to control the cart. 

Bobby: Swing ride. Don’t get me wrong, he loves playing games with his partner and rides they can do together, but I think this is the one ride he always makes time to go on. He likes the simplicity of it, the feeling of flying, softly kicking his feet. If MC/Noah is in the seat in front of him he’ll try to be silly by kicking the back of their seat, but honestly he has more fun if they’re behind him so he doesn’t get distracted from actually enjoying the ride. 

Carl: Food. He’s here for the food trucks. He especially likes to seek out weird things that aren’t served in restaurants, not just the ‘deep fried X on a stick’ but also the more niche stands with food from another culture (I don’t know if this is universal but at our state fairs/carnivals people who like to cook will rent stands and you can just. Have a plate of some Persian grandmother’s food, or have the most mindblowingly amazing curry you've ever tasted from a stall with zero marketing that serves it in a styrofoam bowl) 

Elijah: The High Striker/Strength Tester game. He just wants to show off to his partner and win them a cheesy cheap stuffed toy. 

Felix: Laser tag. He gets super excited to play and SUPER competitive. Actually cares about the leaderboard, and it’s one of the few times you see him focus and strategize.

Gary: Drinking. I think carnivals are probably a little overwhelming for him. He likes playing some of the games, but if it’s a big sprawling one with lots of activities he doesn’t want to pick activities or plan anything. I think his favorite part is just getting a cold beer and wandering around, looking at all the things. 

Hannah: For some reason I just get the vibe that she’s super interested in those games where you win a goldfish. I think she always gets excited when she sees it and commits herself to winning one. Once she does, she decides this is her new best friend and she’s going to take such good care of it, but they never survive more than a couple of weeks. 

Henrik: Teacups. He’s going to convince you to ride, then use all his arm strength to spin you both as fast as humanly possible. When you get off he says ‘whoa I’m dizzy’ every time, but then later will ask you to go on again. 

Rahim: Ferris wheel. He likes that it’s slower, and also a little more private (because it’s just him and his partner in the compartment/bench, so it's a nice break from the crowds). He also really enjoys seeing the whole carnival from a height and looking out at the scenery. Plus he can’t resist a romantic kiss at the top. 

Jakub: I don’t know if this is universal, but in the midwest we have demo derbies. It’s when people take old crappy cars, fix them up, paint them flashy colors/designs, then literally run them into other cars in a stadium until they won’t drive anymore. The car that keeps moving last wins. It’s loud, competitive, suspenseful, and campy (kind of like wrestling, the drivers/car teams are assigned a performative personality). Plus sometimes the cars explode/catch on fire, and that’s fun to watch. 

Kassam: Roller coasters. I feel like Kassam’s the type to go to theme parks at least four or five times a year, and he really likes the fast, new ones. I think his favorite type is the Impulse Roller Coaster which goes insanely fast and insanely high in a short period of time, but he also likes the tower of terror style drop coasters. Anything where you get that sinking stomach feeling. If you go to a theme park/carnival, he’ll plot out all the roller coasters and make a plan to go on all of them throughout the day. 

Lottie: Fortune teller, obvious reasons. She’ll walk away either way too somber/serious or scoffing like ‘that lady/dude was absolutely full of it’. 

Lucas: Bumper cars. It’s one of the few times Lucas really lets loose and allows himself to be unpolished. But the genuine joy of him trying to chase MC’s cart down, or raucously laughing when he gets hit, or the cheeky grin when he narrowly evades someone, or stumbling out of his cart with the rare messy hair and dazed smile… It’s so cute. And he has a lot of fun. He won’t ask to go on the bumper cars initially, but will always ask to go again once you’ve done it. 

Marisol: People watching. I think her favorite part of the outing is when you get a snack/beverage, find a bench in the shade, and just take it all in. She giggles and points out people doing silly things, or just makes up little narratives about the relationships of couples/families she sees. She likes getting a vibe for the general type of people who attend the event they’re specifically at, and making generalizations about why that is/how the carnival could attract other people. 

Noah: I think he really like the slow boring rides that most people dislike. Like the ones that run around a little track and have a story- think Disney’s Carosel of Progress or It’s a Small World. He just finds them charming and once he finds one he likes will want to make it a routine to visit. Also wait now I’m fantasizing about going to Epcot with Noah, I think that’d be so fucking fun. Like hanging out in all the countries, getting different drinks and food, acknowledging how cheesy it is but genuinely enjoying it all the same.

[about-faces]

The director Joel Schumacher has passed away, and everyone's reactions have boiled down to two topics: 1.) "He was the guy who made the bad Batman films," and 2.) "Hey, he did lots of great films besides the bad Batman films!"

Thing is... I get it. I remember being a teenage comic fan in the 90's. Not just any comics: especially Batman! But ESPECIALLY Bart especially Two-Face. I remember how "Joel Schumacher" was a name that could invoke white-hot rage in myself and everyone in the fandom. He was our modern equivalent of Dr. Fredrick Wertham, the boogyman who had (far as we were concerned) single-handedly destroyed the mainstream credibility of superheroes.

Look at that picture, and try to imagine that this was the face so loathed and mocked by Batman fanboys in the 90′s.

Never mind that Schumacher didn't WRITE the Batman films. The main credit for that goes to Akiva Goldsman, who has gone on to win an Oscar and continues to find A-list success despite ruining other geek properties like Jonah Hex and Dark Tower. Never mind that Schumacher was at the mercy of producers who wanted the movies to be nothing more than merchandise machines and toy commercials. No, Schumacher was the only name associated with the films, and he was cast at the villain.

The fact that he was openly gay played no small part in making him an easy target.

One year after the disastrous release of the infamous Batman & Robin, the beloved fan-favorite cartoon Batman: The Animated Series (then rebranded as The New Batman Adventures on the WB network) produced an episode that featured a pointed jab at Schumacher. The episode was titled "Legends of the Dark Knight," a reworking of a classic 70's Batman tale where a group of kids share their own ideas of what the mysterious Batman is really like.

Halfway through the episode, the kids are overheard by another kid, who shares his own ideas about Batman. The kid, whose name is Joel, has long dirty-blond hair, and works in front of a store which bear the sign "Shoemaker," despite clearly being a department store. He waxes dreamily about the reasons he loves Batman: "All those muscles, the tight rubber armor and that flashy car. I heard it can drive up walls!"

This last line--a reference to a silly bit in Batman Forever--he says as he flamboyantly tosses a pink fur stole around his neck. To drive home the joke, one of the kids dismisses, "Yeah, sure, Joel."

At the time, it seemed like a cathartic joke for us REAL Batman fans. Now, it's clearly just cheap and gross. Instead of any actual criticism about the films, Joel Schumacher was just seen--even if just subconsciously--as the fruit who ruined Batman.

Over time, the hatred for Schumacher lessened. Starting with Blade, X-Men, and Spider-Man, on through to Batman Begins, Iron Man, and onward, superhero movies became huge mainstream successes, with greater fidelity to the source material than most adaptations we saw up to the time that Schumacher "killed" the superhero movie. There was no point in hating him anymore, if there ever was (again, Goldsman more deserves that ire, if you're gonna be angry about anyone. Why does he still get work?! WHY IS HE NOW WRITING FOR STAR TREK?!?!).

But even still, especially among Millennial and Gen-X fans, Schumacher is still--at best--considered a low point for fandom. Even though the same generations have come to appreciate and love some of his other films, such as The Lost Boys, Phone Booth, and the chillingly-prescient Falling Down, there's still this need for people to dismiss the Batman films as embarrassments that are best forgotten in favor of Schumacher's better films. And if they're to be remembered at all, it's to trash them all over again in a tone suggesting that the films are objectively, irredeemably bad.

Except they're not. Oh sure, if you go in looking for a grim and gritty capital-M "Mature" take on Batman, of course you'll hate them, just like you probably also hate the Adam West Batman show. Remember, that show also used to be hated by decades of Batman fans because of how it didn't take the comics seriously.

... except it did. The show was VERY faithful to the Batman comics of the 50's, which often out-weirded and out-sillied its TV counterpart. If anything, the show made some of those stories even more entertaining with camp value and jokes that added different levels of enjoyment to the adults watching. Comic fans resented how Batman became a pop culture joke, and increasingly fought against anything that was colorful and campy (which makes me wonder if this might also be related to latent homophobia). Whether or not they admitted/realized it, the Batman fans of the 70's and 80's carried a chip on their shoulder about a show that DARED to make Batman FUN.

And really... how is that any different than Schumacher's two films?

You don't have to agree, but I think Schumacher's films are fun. I think Batman Forever is highly entertaining, that Tommy Lee Jones and Jim Carrey are bringing their hammy A-games as much respected actors like Burgess Meredith and Caesar Romero brought to their roles. Same goes for Arnold and especially Uma in Batman and Robin. They KNOW what movies they're in, and they're all having a blast.

(How many of us remember the exact line Eddie says at this moment? I bet you probably do too, which should tell you something about how memorable this movie is)

Now, BF and particularly B&A are by no means GOOD movies, but you can't tell me that you couldn't have a blast putting the latter on at a party and riffing it with friends. It's not a pretentious, ponderous, self-serious slog like, say, the shit Zack Snyder cranked out (apologies to the one or two cool Snyder fans here, I just find his films interminable). Even besides the many things I could say to defend Schumacher's Batman films (that's a whole other essay), you can't say they were boring. They were entertaining, even if on a level of making fun of the film, and that is NOT as easy as it looks.

Let me put it to you this way: Batman Forever has, objectively, one of the worst takes on Two-Face I've ever seen. He's one-note, he's kind of a rehash of Nicholson's Joker, he gets completely overshadowed by the Riddler, he gets killed by Batman in a way that completely betrays the whole “DON’T KILL HARVEY” arc with Robin, and worst of all, he CHEATS on the coin toss. That alone would be enough for me to condemn this depiction in any other Two-Face story.

And yet, even I--the most passionate, opinionated, and picky Two-Face fan you will EVER know--still have a soft spot for Tommy Lee Jones' take on ol' Harv. He’s just too fun, too flamboyant, too damn extra not to love. If only all bad takes on Two-Face could be this fun!

But that’s the thing: it’s not because the script was good. Oh god no. I've read the script, and if it were put on the page like a comic, I would have hated it just like any other bad Two-Face comic. I have to imagine that, as director, Joel Schumacher deserves the bulk of the credit for pushing the restrained and laconic Tommy Lee Jones into that oversized performance, and making it a delight to watch despite everything it does wrong.

I'm rare for my generation to have learned how to stop worrying and love Schumacher's Batman. But the younger generation, the up-and-coming Gen-Zs getting into Batman, don't share the same grudges we did. There's a genuine, shame-free enjoyment of those films among The Kids, many of whom are LGBTQA+, who love the jokes, the silliness, the camp, the Freeze puns, the swag of Uma Thurman, and the homoerotic subtext between Two-Face and the Riddler. Maybe it's just a reaction to so much GRIM, SERIOUS shit that DC and their fanboys are trying desperately to push even today.

But comics--especially Batman--have a long history of colorful, stupid, fun shit. Schumacher's films carried on in that tradition, and they should be appreciated on their own merits by those of us who aren't limited by narrow ideas of what Batman "should" be, and who still remember how to have fun.

Schumacher's Batman films should no longer be seen as embarrassments. They didn't ruin superheroes. They didn't ruin Batman. They didn't even ruin Two-Face. Nor should they be disregarded in favor of Falling Down, like losers in a respectability competition. They're fun. They're entertaining. And they didn't pretend to be anything else.

And if you still think they're bad... I mean, objectively, you're not wrong! But be mindful of the reasons WHY you think they're bad, because on another subjective level, you may not be right either. And it's certainly not worth holding a geek-grudge over after twenty-five years.

[mermaidsirennikita]

Elvis review?

It's a really entertaining movie, and an actor's showcase. The movie is meant to give Tom Hanks the opportunity to play against type and be super campy, and Austin Butler the opportunity to act his ass off. Both of them do that. I think Austin gives the stronger performance, obviously--he nails it not only as a performance of Elvis (or the mythologized Elvis of the film) but as a performance of a man who is... deeply fucked. Even this sanitized Elvis clearly has mommy AND daddy issues like crazy and a lack of emotional maturity, which means that he only knows how to "earn" love through performance rather than emotionally connecting with people in an authentic manner. He also nailed Elvis's deterioration and addiction. I truly don't know how anyone can say he overplayed it--to me, he arguably UNDERplayed it compared to people who've played Elvis in the past (think JRM in the TV version years ago). He didn't just play an icon, though he certainly got the guy's voice and mannerisms; he played a person.

(Also, re: Tom Hanks. Yeah, it was an exaggerated, campy performance. But Colonel Tom Parker was a very weird, pretty sinister man in real life, and I think that's what needed to be conveyed here.)

As with any Baz movie, it's just very over the top and flashy and FEELINGS and MUSIC all over the place, which is what an Elvis movie should be. It's honestly pretty toned down for Baz. The music was well-used. The performance elements were great. It packs a lot into the narrative, so even though it's a long movie it really clips through a lot--you went from him first talking to Priscilla, for example, to him and Priscilla being married and Lisa Marie being born super fast, when that was like... an 8-9 year stretch of time.

Which leads me to my next point--yeah, it's sanitized. That was an 8-9 year stretch of time because Priscilla was 14 when she met Elvis, who was 24 and very much started dating her then. (According to Priscilla, they did shit, but they didn't have... penetrative sex... until the wedding night. This has been.... questioned.). She moved to Graceland before she was 18. It was very, very not good, even by the standards of the time. And of course, Elvis was undeniably a culture vulture who cribbed Black culture and music without personal or financial credit. Both of these things were handwaved, and the movie goes further in trying to imply that Elvis was a friend to all Black people and really tried to make change and give credit, when honestly? He did not. And who knows how much of his decisions were his and how much were Parker's, but we can't act like he wasn't a grown man who, even if he wasn't formally educated, was not by any means intellectually incapable of making his own decisions, at least for most of his career (pill addiction aside).

So like... here's the thing. Take the movie's story with a grain of salt and as a mythology versus a straightforward biopic. I don't know how you could watch a Baz movie, even a Baz biopic, without knowing that you're getting a manipulated story. Baz's work is inherently inflated and over the top. And here's where we get the catch of working with real people, too. Earlier this year, I discussed how in the wake of Pam and Tommy, everyone was saying that we should only make biopics with the express permission and involvement of the real people involved--this is what you're going to get, nine times out of ten. Priscilla and Lisa Marie co-signed all of this, if not legally then personally. They are coming at this from a very skewed perspective. For Priscilla, Elvis was the man who took her virginity, married her, gave her her first child, career opportunities, changed her life and basically shaped her teens and twenties. For Lisa Marie, that's the loving father she lost as a child. Both of them also have financial interests to protect in maintaining his image. They cannot POSSIBLY give us the true Elvis (or a true Priscilla, for that matter--Priscilla doesn't see herself as a victim, perhaps, or doesn't want to be seen as a victim, so the fact that a grown man groomed a teenager is really skated over here). Nobody can give an OBJECTIVE version of their life, because none of us see our lives in a truly objective manner, no matter how honest we think we are with ourselves.

The movie directs itself at the people who worshipped Elvis very explicitly through Parker's narration. And I think that adds to it. I don't know that this was Baz's intent, but the movie sometimes reads as kind of a critique of the relationship between these ultra celebrities and their fans and the way that fans are obsessed with the IDEA of the person, and the celebrity in turn is obsessed with maintaining that love, to the point that they neglect authentic personal relationships and lose touch with the reality of who they are. I think the real Elvis was a shitty person and I don't necessarily feel bad for him as an individual--but I do think that in itself is extremely tragic for anyone.

So yeah, I'd recommend seeing it, but I'd also recommend reading up on the actual Elvis's life. As you probably should in general with these types of projects.

[deanky]

#Riddlerpost

Cringe this may be btu I will make it anyways OK? In discorp I said I coudl make a whole post about random specific thigns I would want in my ideal interpretation of the Riddler and I’m a man of my word sometimes so I am going to do it. Including both major things and icnredibly dumb minor details. Putting this under cut because I seriously did not realize how long this would get LOL

His original name WAS Edward Nashton and he changed it to Nygma both because of da riddle love and to distance himself from horrible family which he does have, and I think it specifically should be spelled Nygma because he would value the extra .2 seconds it would take for someone to notice that being a pun. However even if it makes it more obvious when said in conjunction with last name he actually does NOT hate being called Eddie specifically. He loves it because it makes it so there’s 2 different ways to do the enigma thing.

He had pretty awful childhood, like realistically awful. Horrible parents bad marriage etc his mom treated him better than his dad but the difference became more narrow over time probably. :( He did not to well in school, he hoped that doing somethign really well would help & entered contest thing. I think he did cheat and feels like he deserved further horrible family thigns due to it but did not he was only a lad! 

 hated school. Did not go to college. Intelligent but not emotionally... he DOES have OCD and it is like compulsive to turn eveyrhting into funny puzzles and games and of course riddles, but it doesn’t stop him from doing ones on purpose of course, and he does like to tell really dumb jokes liek all the ones in the 60s show (BTW he should always and forever do the funny Frank Gorshin laugh). And he is fully autistic. He is so autistic. Believe this. Believe me. He gets along with other villains his like constant compulsive insertion of riddles into things that don’t or shouldn’t have them can cause strife but like everyone in Batman is TWISTED they get it they’re a jolly group terrorizing the town together. United Underworld baby. U.U. should be in every piece of Batman media BTW, unrelated.

The important thign though is! He is a tragic guy deep down he has a sad story behind him all but he is silly. Whatever the ‘present’ is like aroudn the time any actual Batman comics happen, he should be silly. All these thigns should not stop him from being silly. He is egotistical for sure but not USUALLY to the point of like, being Arkham levels of rude. But it can happen. He mostly just like... He does his FUNNYCRIMES to prove himself as being smart, but there usually isn’t even all that malice involved unless it’s like, the one BTAS episode he really wants to get revenge on a specific person. IdealRiddler not as suave as BTAS Riddler though. he most resembles him in that one scene where all the girls are like ‘ahhh so smart bro’ and he’s like “well heh guess you say that to all the geniuses!”

I don’t think he’d ever really intentionally kill anyone. He’s like - he’s not ineffective at the thigns he does but he’s not an incredibly harmful villain. That said he can put together whole insane mastermind plots but they probably won’t be things he really puts into effect a lot because he doesn’t really want or need to. He’s definitely like When is a Door-type Riddler in my head, he doesn’t know where it all went wrong he just wants to have fun and do incredibly silly crimes and it scares him so bad to see everyone else actually killing people even if the Joker was probably already doing it forever

And BTW he is fully gay he is fully homosexual and in a relationship with the Penguin. But this is important - he is completely chaste. He definitely needs to be incredibly gay that’s an integral part of his character. To me. And he does have 1 billion different increasingly silly and flashy Riddler suits like Jim Carrey style you know it and loves funny campy silyl stuff and he definitely has a huge collection of big novelty objects used in ads and like carnivals and stuff. And he is like 5′3 at most. BTW. He is short. He needs to be short OK? He needs ot be an incredibly small man. *Looking at you pleadingly as I say this*

He used to have long hair when he was young but by the time he actually is da Riddler it;s short and he is balding. he tries to hide it under his hat but you can tell you can always tell. He is not like fully shaved bald and tattooed or anything like that, but he is balding. Sometimes he has a mustache I think the only Riddler that’s had a mustache was when he was briefly portrayed by John Astin for part of Batman 1966. But I like to imagine him with a mustache. I think it works and BTW I’m insane.

Like, every single job that he’s been portrayed as having before is something he’d gone through before being da riddler, he’s worked at a carnival he’s worked on video games he’s done it all. He definitely collected all the carnival stuff. I think specifically though aside from probably having bad boss like in BTAS his V.G. work went unappreciated because it was all like, incredibly obscure thigns on ZX Spectrum or FMV games or somehting and he didn’t get to contribute that much to them because he always ended up coming up with extremely ambitious plans for developign them that would be like impossible for a game at the time. He would definitely run a really weird looking web page with all the little weird easter eggs he put into stuff showcased. OK. That’s all I can think of right now. I might add more. But for now I’m just going to smile sweetly

[fuckblizzardbearlover]

Ok so reasons why i Love Warcraft the Beginning, and why its perfect and i hope for more. Might be a little incorherant cus i'm just doing my thoughts as they come. i  dont have the time to spend hours writing articles i'm not being payed for.

Yes Warcraft is a great, i say Perfect movie. "But it has flaws". Everything does. That perfect movie you love so much? someone found it boring, someone found it pretentious , someone found it stupid. Perfect pizza? someone doesnt like your toppings, someone thought there wasnt enough for it. A movie, a show, a book, art in general cannot be judged by an arbitrary list of items it must meet to sufficient quality. "no plotholes, great acting, good effects" are not good qualifiers. Most ppl dont know the meaning of plotholes, different tons of story require different acting (Casablanca is seen as a masterpiece but i dislike movies of that era because the acting is over the top, stiff, and campy. however that does not make them bad, it just means i dont like it). Really the only way a piece of art can be judged is by judging it based on what it TRIED to do. If your character is suppose to show they are angry in this scene and they just seem constipated then you did fail and that was bad acting. But if your character is suppose to be angry and some of the audience thinks they should have acted a different way, then thats just a difference of opinion between author and audience.

So what did Warcraft the Beginning TRY to do? Pay homage to the original franchise, tell a heartfelt complex story, give a larger than life epic, and reinterpret the story into something thats better than it was and can be accepted by a general audience

-So i love how much the art, style and themes embraced the franchise. The intro was PERFECT. The little cameos and everything were well done. For some weird reason a few thought that was cringe but part of good cameos is world building. They arent putting "this way to the stoutelager inn" so fans can go "i get that refrence" they are doing it to create  a scene that involves a sign to an inn and might as well be a real one from the story, right? The franchise STARTED as Err orcs bad humans good but it has since evolved past that, and you saw that with the  theme of the H and A heroes banding together against guldan. The armor and costumes were perfect, using the major flair of warcraft without being overly done. Llane's and Lothar's armor is perfect example.

some people have a problem with what i'd say was the "family friendly epic fantasy adventure" aspect of the movie. yes pacing was quick but when you go into a weird story you just suspend disbelief and take things as you go. They never explain how the Flashy Thingies in men in black work, they just do. you accept it and move. And there was some slightly heavy handed themes and moments. but thats what we call Camp. Its a fantasy adventure, you have snark, a few cheesy lines, hope vs darkness and all that good stuff. I remember when Wonder Woman came out an interviewer asked about the....hammy? ending. i think they used  a different word. but the idea was that it seemed...bad? that the ending revolved around Wonder woman's faith in humanity, faith in goodness and trying to do good, was naieve. And Patty Jenkens said that she thinks the world needs more hope like that, not everything is doom and gloom and the point of a hero is to be hopeful.

A GOOD movie, a PERFECT movie doesnt need to be high art. Ppl talk about inception cus it was so intense but IMO if half the audience doesnt know whats happening then its not so good is it? and like i said So many "great perfect movies' in history are boring, or weird or unlikable to many people. And i think its a great detriment to the world that people got to act like only high art movies that win awards are any good.

And then there is the story and charactes. I loved Lothar and Llane, very relatable and good example of heroic men. The mirror between the father Lothar and Durotan was great. I loved how well they did the orcs, just everything about them. Like their meeting and having it so that you could only understand the side you were listening from, if you listen when its focused on the orcs and Garona is translating you can hear Llane speaking something that is NOT english. But like even with the kinder orcs they kept the furiosity. Durotan makes it clear that their world is dead and they cannot simply go back, and thats very realisitc. even were it not for guldan if he was fighting to save his people he'd willingly fight the humans if they tried to stop them. It was great seeing them touch on the idea of the fel infused orcs with Medivh's ability to create spells that specifically target them. Oh and geeze his whole arch. the actor and directing i think did a great job of showing him struggling to do as much as he could to help the alliance against the orcs. He seemed addled, like he was losing it or on drugs but you find out it is really because the fel is taking hold of him. thats what was great about the last guardian is the whole Inner monster storyline. Betrayal of one's self and all that. And it showed the variety in the orcs, yes you had dark ones who embraced the pillage too, and its a shame that the campfire scene "but you're...Green" scene didnt make it. Kadgar, did a good job with the whole "he's smart enough to notice when his 'betters' are wrong but he's young and inexperienced and doesnt know how to assert himself" was great.  Its funny cus some didnt like he didnt age, but far as i can tell nothing in warcraft even addressed that. Like he mentions once or twice in the book and in click dialogue that it sucks losing his childhood but there is no angst about it. you wouldnt know he's only in his 40s now. Even his little cinematic before legion focused on him taking up the mantle of the guardian.

And then there are the improvements it made. Rise of the Horde was good but they didnt have time to have the 'non fel orcs being around fel turn slightly green', so it was a good choice to have that dynamic visual change. Lothar's son arc i think gave him more of a personal reason to be invested in this other than "defense of our nation". And it kinda sucks in the original narrative that stormwind just kinda got its butt kicked. I'm sure it will still fall but it will be nice to see more effort put into it. And goodness we actually got to see varian's mother? and she was an important part of the story? she was an interesting character and had influence and was crucial to getting garona on their side. Speaking of , Garona by herself is the best change and alone makes this movie better than the original. She is a product of love, the first human/orc couple, presumably when Medivh was first exploring Draenor. And not a tool created by rape? Its so great that this shitty aspect of the story generated from the naive creator's idea of womens place in stories, was rewritten. Oh i'd be the first to say it wasnt malicious. but between Kerrigan and Sylvannas and Garona, heck this attitude exists today. That a man's humanity comes from his family, that he is violent emotionless and a killer but a wife brings out his peace and children his humanity . so the worst thing that can happen to him is his family is killed, thus bringing the beast back. And that for a Woman she is defined by her love of the man, does she reject him or accept him, does she play hard to get or support him? how freely does she give herself to him. And thus the worst thing that can happen to a woman is to have her body violated, and what many guys who grew up in the 70s-90s fantasy era that was the go to story. Woman is violated (in body) and gets her revenge and feels empowered by killing her rapist. while the man is violated by those he LOVES being killed, and empowered by avenging them and finding a new family (or a way to honor the dead ones)

So yea its REALLy awesome that this story rejected that whole farse and said "no, the key behind saving both peoples is a young woman who exists because 2 people from different planets loved each other"

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael in the Mainstream: Charlie’s Angels

So Elizabeth Banks has said some really controversial things due to this movie failing. I’m not interested in discussing that, really, or I normally wouldn’t be anyway, but it is kind of relevant to the film at hand, sadly. This new reboot of the long-dormant Charlie’s Angels franchise is supposed to be a kickass feminist woman empowerment movie, but it is horrendously undermined by its own writer/director/star’s comment about other women-made films. It’s also undermined by the awful writing, bad acting, cliché plot, terrible effects, and bland cookie cutter action, but of course we need to focus on the fact that this is a big feminist screwup instead of anything substantial, right?

Yes, I absolutely loathe Banks’ comments, but even if she hadn’t said them this would still be an incredibly boring and miserable movie. This movie is so incredibly by-the-numbers, and when it’s not being tired and generic, it’s being hamfisted or even downright gross. Remember those scenes in Captain Marvel where Carol experiences microagressions? Imagine that, except it’s the entire opening of the film, where Kristen Stewart’s character is subjected to gross sexism from a misogynistic villain who she spends quite a bit of time rubbing the junk of with her feet before beating him up. There are far fewer scenes like this than you might expect all things considered, but it does set a pretty dismal tone for the movie at large.

I think the biggest crime is the wasting of Naomi Scott and Kristen Stewart, with Stewart especially being wasted. It’s really sad because Stewart is almost definitely trying her damndest to bring her character to life, but her dialogue and jokes are just so flaccid and don’t land at all. It’s sad when Bella Swan was a better written character than her heroic super spy here; at least Bella never had to give Edward a footjob to distract him. And Naomi Scott’s character is ludicrously roped in to this big espionage mission despite having no real training at all in one of the movies more egregious moments of stupidity.

But perhaps the worst waste of talent is Patrick Stewart. Here he plays John Bosely, and he does nothing but spout the most horrendously stereotypical dialogue he has probably ever had to recite in his career, with his introductory scene being especially painful in this regard. And then, in one of the dumbest twists this film throws at us, Stewart’s Bosely is revealed to be the villain. You know, I’m not one to put on the tinfoil hat, but there are three Boselys in this film – Stewart’s, Djimon Hounsou’s, and Elizabeth Banks’. Hounsou’s Bosely is killed after less than ten minutes of screentime, while Stewart’s Bosely is revealed to be an evil villain, despite the fact that it was hinted that Banks’ Bosely was the bad guy. So a black men is killed and a man is made the villain so the woman can come off and be innocent – and this is something I probably wouldn’t really pick up on or even care about if it weren't for Banks making her comments and making me scrutinize this film in such a way.

Banks really wanted this film to be some action-packed feminist empowerment piece, but it falls short of the lofty heights of Wonder Woman, Aliens, and Kill Bill and lands in the same ditch that Sucker Punch fell in: it’s cheap, flashy trash with no wit or personality that utilizes blatant over-the-top stereotyping, racist fridge stuffing, and poor screenwriting choices to make a movie that supposedly uplifts women, but only at the expense of everyone else. And trust me, I really wanted to like this film going in, I wanted to give it a chance. I love Banks in other movies, I love Kristen Stewart and Naomi Scott, and Much like every human being in existence with a functioning brain I adore Patrick Stewart. But it just completely and utterly failed in every conceivable way to engage me, and it failed to convince me that this could in any way be empowering. Again, it brings to mind Sucker Punch more than anything, which blatantly weaponized sexism and tried to pass it off as empowering. This movie is nowhere near that gross and fetishistic, it’s just bland and dumb, but the fact Elizabeth Banks tried to pass it off as anything more when the whole thing was already of subpar quality is really sad.

This is just a film I can’t imagine appealing to anyone. Like, if you want to watch a feminist power fantasy with lots of hamfisted moments of microagressions and sexism, go watch Captain Marvel, because that film actually does have some entertaining moments and is at the very least average. If you want a good modern female-led action film that I can easily see empowering and inspiring women, Wonder Woman is right there. And if you want to watch a Charlie’s Angels film, well, those campy early 2000s films are looking pretty appealing right about now. Even if I throw out all of Banks’ comments, this movie is still ultimately just an empty, lifeless reboot that wastes a lot of genuine talent on subpar material that is so far beneath them that it makes me wonder why they ever accepted this.

Honestly, the fact that the movies theme song is “Don’t Call Me Angel” really speaks for itself. It’s funny in an ironic, depressing way, because I’m pretty sure no one wants to call these spies Angels after this bomb.

[dcarevu]

DCAU #18: See No Evil

“Hey! Who locked the bathroom?!”

Watching this show in production-order as opposed to airing-order is drastically altering how I perceive it. This is an episode that I had no memory of. Like, none. And then when I watched it, yeah, I managed to sense some vague familiarity (at least enough to know I didn’t miss it the first time I went through the show), but it was basically like watching it for the first time. This time was different, though, and I actually think that this episode is not only worth remembering, but it’s kinda another key episode! I know, you probably have your doubts, but hear me out. Maybe by the end of today’s blog post, you’ll at least see where I’m coming from.

Episode: 17 Robin: No Writer: Martin Pasko Director: Dan Riba Animator: Dong Yang Airdate: February 24, 1993 Grade: A Where do I begin with See No Evil… Talking about an episode like this is weird, because knowing that I can praise an episode you don’t see praised as often as, say, Heart Of Ice puts more pressure on me to say what I feel I need to say. With Two-Face I didn’t really need to worry about getting my points about how great it is through. Everyone already knows. I was preaching to the choir. But this episode doesn’t have the flashy villain. It also doesn’t have the landmark status. Hell, its airing number was 56. By that point, this episode wasn’t special at all. The series was more than halfway over. The airing order wasn’t all bad, I mean, let’s bring up Heart Of Ice again. It’s a wonderful episode, but imagine if it aired more than halfway through the series. We’d probably be looking at it at least a little differently. I believe that See No Evil got swept into the cracks. No real harm done, don’t take this as me saying that losing this episode like that was a travesty. I still wouldn’t put it on a top 10 list or anything (at least, I don’t think I would). But I want to shine the spotlight on it, even if it’s just through this post. Give it a little bit of love, and hopefully at least get a few to acknowledge it as an achievement within Batman the Animated Series, despite it often being seen as a standard.

(“Hey! Who locked the bathroom?!” Try knocking, asshole!)

What’s funny is that the first few minutes are more engaging and have better atmosphere than the entire climax of our last episode. And that had explosions and fires galore! This is essentially just a little kid talking to a seemingly supernatural being! Wait. A little kid? In a Batman TAS episode? I know you’re going, “I thought you said this episode was good.” As I said. Hear. Me. Out. Now there’s something that creeps me out about things such as dolls coming to life, whether they’re actually sentient, or some creepy invisible thing is manipulating them. Especially when intentions are clearly malicious to everyone except for the naive child. It’s that creepy manipulation aspect. You ever see a horror movie where the mom asks their kid who they’re talking to, and at that moment you know that it’s not just their imaginary friend? That something sinister is lurking around? Hell, when I was a little kid I used to partially wake up in the middle of the night and see things in the dark. Apparently one time I asked my mom over and over if she could see/hear the lady with the guitar wandering through the house. If I were my mom, I woulda packed my bags and moved out until I could get ahold of the god damn Ghostbusters (by the way, Ghostbusters 3, what the actual fu-).

(Char thought this scenery was really spooky. I’d have to agree!)

But anyway, getting back on topic… Now, we later of course find out that this “ghost” is just a regular dude, and is in fact the girl’s father. But, despite concerns, that doesn’t remove the tension from the episode at all. There’s a horror movie called Hush which I enjoyed a lot more than I thought I was going to. But one minor nitpick is that, although it helps alleviate the cliché, when the killer removes his mask and we start to slowly see them as more human than blank, creepy slate, the scariness takes a hard hit. I hear a similar complaint with how some of the modern Halloween movies make Michael too human, and although it can often create a stronger character, that doesn’t exactly help improve the Halloween movies. Michael Myers is scary because of how mysterious and inhuman he is. My point is that relatability alone cannot always take the place of that haunting alien quality. And our villain, Lloyd Ventrix, goes through a similar transformation as we learn more about him. But here, it doesn’t hurt the episode, it only makes it more interesting. I’m usually all about sympathetic villains on this show, but it would have been so easy to turn this into a typical emotion-driven story about a dad who misses his daughter and uses his invisibility to see her sometimes. Granted, this story could have worked. It worked in Spider-Man 3 with the Sandman (I actually like that movie, despite having some major problems with it). But instead we go for a different route where somehow our character gets scarier when we find out who he is and what he wants. The best way I can put it is that we found out what he wants without finding out what he wants after he gets what he wants. Whatever it is, though, it’s likely not good. Something is so off about Ventrix. And it’s actually explained why. The chemicals in his invisibility suit are basically making him go crazy. He’s not going crazy in a cartoonish way, it’s a legitimate mentally ill way.

(Look at that fixated glare. <Shudders>)

He stalks. He steals. And despite the super villain element, there’s a realness to it all that puts the real accounts of child kidnapping and stalking at the back of your mind. Enough to get a slight case of the willies. We find out from the mother that Ventrix has basically no redeeming qualities at all, but she doesn’t know much more about his motivations than we do. Even his daughter. She has no idea who he is when he reveals his face to her. Add in the fact that he ignores his restraining order at one point in the episode to try and show his ex wife that he’s a changed man because he has money now, and it makes you real glad that Batman exists in this world to protect the more innocent.

(“Goth Mart”. Love it. This store would eventually become Hot Topic.)

I legitimately feel like his daughter would have been in danger if she would have gotten into that car. Ugh. Yeah. That’s another thing. Ventrix trying to get his daughter into his car (when she has no idea who he is, they likely haven’t communicated face to face since before she can even remember), and her saying that her mom told her to not talk to strangers. Ahhhhhh! Scary! And she sees his face and gets creeped out that he’s a grown-ass man she’s never seen before. Like, am I the only one so disturbed by this guy? In a world that unfortunately contains child-molestors and killers, can you blame me?

(I really love this little girl’s character model. Beautiful eyes!)

Now, if you’ve never seen this episode (go watch the series, dude!), you’re probably a little surprised about this being an episode of Batman the Animated Series. But they don’t play everything quite so scary. In fact, there was a decent amount of comic relief, and it was genuinely funny. There was one moment where Batman jumps onto our villain’s invisible car as it starts racing through the city. At first, this looked stupidly campy. I was thinking of the Invisible Boatmobile. And also, since we can’t see the car, we just see what appears to be Batman flying around in an incredibly static position at 90 mph. But the show was smart. Martin Pasko knew that this would look stupid. So they embrace it. We see a civilian who notices Batman speeding by, and he goes, “I didn’t know he could fly too!” in a pretty funny voice. Char and I both laughed out loud. It was very well played.

Speaking of funny voices, by the way, holy hell, the voice work in this episode was incredible. Every character’s voice had so much…well…character! My favorite voice performance in the episode was actually that one scientist (Sam Giddell was his name) that Batman talked to about the invisibility plastic. He was kinda funny sounding, but not in a cartoony way. He sounded exactly how he should, a nerdy, dedicated, hard-working researcher. He was no Seymour the scientist (anyone who gets that reference gets a bat-cookie. Or maybe a lava cookie…), that’s for sure. Y’know who another surprisingly great voice came from? Batman. You’re probably thinking, “This is Kevin Conroy, Collin. His Batman voice is always great.” You’d be right…kinda. Watch The Cat and the Claw, and then go watch the Superman TAS episode World’s Finest. One is really good. One is great, and the Batman voice we’ve come to know and love from Conroy. I think that See No Evil is our first episode with the definitive Kevin Conroy Batman voice. Especially when compared to The Cat and the Claw where everyone was barely talking above a whisper (I still don’t know what that was about, honestly). Really, The Cat and the Claw coming right before this episode just highlights why this episode is a key episode even more. The Red Claw ended up being a little bit more gimmicky and stock than I would have liked. And she was a little bit too…exaggerated? Think back to that attack on the train. See No Evil indeed has a villain with a gimmick, don’t get me wrong. But this gimmick is one that provides a lot of plot-points that don't feel empty. It’s how he manages to frequently talk to his daughter. It’s how he managed to kidnap her. It’s how he committed so many of his crimes. It’s how he gave Batman so much damn trouble. Compare this to the level of meat that Red Claw provided for that story. Miles apart.

Underneath this gimmick, which essentially is a way of giving someone in this show a super power, we have a regular guy (well…kinda) without even a supervillian name. Bruce Timm and co from the beginning wanted the show to focus on good stories rather than freaks of the day. They made it clear that sometimes this would involve regular mobsters or, maybe people like Ventrix. We’ve already done similar with It’s Never Too Late, but I think that this episode is even better in some aspects.

It isn’t perfect, though. The scene with Batman on top of the car, yeah, the joke was funny, but it goes on a little too long for me. Also, the bit where Ventrix pulled that robbery of the jewelry at the beginning I had mixed thoughts on. Like, dude. You’re invisible. You manage to quietly sneak an item into your pocket, but then decide to throw the idea of stealth completely out the window by ripping jewelry out of people’s hands, shoving people around, and dumping out displays right in front of people? Oh, good job, now you alerted Batman, you moron.

(An in-costume Ventrix, visible.)

At the same time, though, we do establish later on that this guy isn’t mentally there, so maybe that’s a decent enough reason. Either way, these are nitpicks through and through, and calling them anything but would be doing an injustice. This episode is awesome. I haven’t even talked about the step up in action scenes yet. This is probably the best the series has been so far with action. Except for when Mr. Freeze rode that fire hydrant into a building. That was amazing. Batman gets the shit beat out of him in this episode. I think that maybe they could get away with more because the villain was invisible for most of the hits or something, but the way that they were animated still makes them look just as painful as any hits from a completely visible person would have.

(Caption this?)

(Or this.)

(Or this.)

(Or even this.)

Yeah, the animation here was done by Dong Yang. Y’know. The same ones who did Nothing to Fear and I’ve Got Batman In My Basement. Before I checked on who the animation studio was, I totally would have guessed TMS or Spectrum. It looks that great. A major step up from those two mentioned episodes. The only weird bit was that Batman’s face looked a tiny bit off occasionally, but it's barely noticeable. It’s mostly in his nose, and how it tends to hang down. Anyway, yeah. Lots of great action scenes. Probably one of the coolest was when water is raining down on the battlefield, and Batman uses that to keep an eye on Ventrix and take him out. Here, he is totally visible, but they don’t cut back on the damage being done by Batman’s fists and feet. But y’know what the main thing I noticed with this bit was? The live action Daredevil movie totally got the final fight scene from this episode. Coincidentally Ben Affleck is a common denominator.

There are lots of other little things I could say. There were a few more funny bits, a particular scene where Batman is rummaging through some files and tension skyrockets, and even the technical mumbo jumbo that surprisingly made a lot of sense and didn't seem to jump the shark much… It’s mostly all great. This is why production order is so important for this episode in particular. By the time episode 56 arrived, much of See No Evil’s achievements had already been seen! But watching it this way, we see a huge boost in good comic relief, a huge boost in action, a huge boost in tension/borderline horror elements, a huge boost in animation (at least for this particular studio), a huge boost in voice work, and a solid, entertaining story to go with all of it. I really liked this episode, as did Char, and this is why it gets a proud, sturdy A from me. Char mentioned to me that this villain felt like a one-shot, and I’m guessing she’s right (I can’t quite recall). I bet they could have done another interesting story with Ventrix, and maybe he found his way into some of the DCAU comics? Speaking of that…

I made a post earlier, but I wanted to reiterate! There are DCAU comics. There are actually a lot of them. Now, I have no idea which ones are technically still considered canon (or which ones ever were). But what I’d like to do is put in a little research and start including them in this blog! Unfortunately, these likely won’t align together as nicely as the episodes do. Because I’m watching Batman in production order, it’s kinda hard to then look at the comic dates and place them appropriately throughout. So I’m going to treat them more as a separate thing and check them out at my own pace. I don’t even own any right now, so it’s likely gonna be a while before I even get to them. I still don’t know if I want to do all of them, or just the confirmed canon ones? Any input? Lemme know! With that, I’ll see y’all next week, most likely, as we…um…head west…

Char’s grade: A

Next time: Beware Of the Grey Ghost Full episode list here!

[svpervixen]

One of my favorite photos and favorite nights ever.

We’ve been to plenty of hotels but this one was by far my favorite simply because of the experience associated with it.

This was a one day trip 30 minutes north with the sole purpose of putting a small, but manageable break in the full-time work routine. He booked it as a surprise for me because we both love hotels. He’s planned every trip we’ve gone on but one, since I struggle to spend money on non-necessities- almost to a fault.

We like to do things cheap if we can. I don’t think either of us could genuinely fathom spending more money than necessary to survive and occasionally have fun. It’s beyond validating and relieving to be with someone who appreciates the important things, and works hard for the sometimes expensive choices we make to either survive, or make surviving more bearable. We enjoy the same things. And he never demands more than I feel comfortable providing. In fact, he goes out of his way to make sure I’m comfortable. What a blessing. I digress.

When we arrived at this hotel, there were two separate buildings in the same parking lot. One was the building in the photos on the booking website. The other was tucked behind it, much smaller, and resembled a motel from a campy horror movie more than a Holiday Inn. I’m sure you can already guess where this is going.

When he returned to our car after checking in, he had a look of fear and frustration on his face, as if he was terrified of disappointing me and didn’t know how to fix it. There was “bad news”. First off, the temporary hold on the credit card was larger than anticipated, meaning we had not 50 dollars to spend on dinner and drinks that night, but only 30. Secondly, he had not booked a room at the hotel that was advertised to him; the tall, bright, flashy building nearest the road with the indoor pool, gym, and free breakfast in the morning. No, we were directed to the building at the back of the lot, past the row of SUVs and a deep pothole, to the white, two-story building with individual exterior entrances that was in no way, shape, or form shown on the website, and didn’t appear to be accommodating anyone else at the time. He was apologizing profusely, and I couldn’t think of any other ways to tell him that it was okay, that I didn’t mind, that as long as I was with him, I was happy, and that honestly, I was genuinely loving this for what it was. Eventually he trusted my words.

We pulled up, parked, and looked at each other. The laughter that simultaneously erupted between us was enormous. Here we were, trying to treat ourselves to, albeit a relatively cheap getaway, but a small holiday nonetheless, and we had somehow ended up on the set of Vacancy. We couldn’t contain ourselves.

Our room was on the second floor, so we lugged our one suitcase up the stairs which were located at the corner of the building perched above an unplugged ice machine. As I was fumbling with the door, he said to me, “so, do the hookers come free with the room, or..?” and we both lost it again while tumbling into the room (nothing but respect for all the SWs of the world, our humor is admittedly inappropriate sometimes). There were two beds, a dresser, phone, television, the usual. It was comfortable and well kept. Outdated maybe, but hygienic enough. After spending a couple hours in a neighboring tourist town, we came back to the motel. He turned on the AC and I turned on the TV. He somehow managed to find ice from somewhere outside while I scrolled through channels trying to find something to put on for background noise. To my delight, the seventh Saw was playing on SyFy (one of three I like), and we both more or less ended up watching it while sipping our drinks and shooting the shit. Perhaps one of the best unspoken perks of our confused booking situation was the fact that if I wanted to smoke a cigarette, all I had to do was step outside the door, instead of weaving in and out of a large hotel and into the parking lot. Small things.

After a little while, he badly wanted to go swimming in the main building, which we were allowed access to despite staying a quarter mile away from it. It was pouring rain and pretty chilly outside, so we both put hoodies on over our swimwear (pictured 🖤) and ran to the car. We would have walked, but the rain was, again, very heavy. I felt, in a rather wild way, comfortably out-of-place when we entered the main building and asked the professionally dressed employee at the front desk if we could have two towels and be pointed in the direction of the pool, please. We scurried off like little children and spent an hour in the water. My chronically-in-pain body preferred the hot tub. I sat in it for as long as I could. My dreamy Pisces preferred the bigger pool he could swim in.

We brought a cheap dinner back to the motel with us and watched some more television while we ate. We drank some more. The night was rounded off with some intense and rough physical activities. It was easy to fall asleep after such an evening.

When daylight came back, I didn’t want to leave. Not because anything was wrong with our home, but just because I fell in love with this little place, solely because of what we made out of it, despite it all beginning with what could be considered by the wrong person as an ‘awful mistake’. No, he and I had a blast, just as we always do no matter where it is we end up.

Making the most out of what we have, being grateful and humble, spending time with and making each other laugh, and showing the other care, respect, and love at all times has been as easy as breathing when it comes to him, is the reason why we have been inseparable since we met, and why we just passed our three year (and three months) anniversary while still being just as unfathomably connected to each other as we were in the beginning. Not a single day goes by where I don’t want to be in his presence or tell him I love him. He is my other half in every way. My best friend.

I wrote this today because I could, I can, and I wanted to. Nothing more, nothing less.

It surely does feel wonderful to be in love with your best friend.

[doomonfilm]

Ranking : John Carpenter (1948 - present)

If one were to name off ten American directors from the past half-century or so in rapid fire fashion, I’d be willing to put money on the table that a vast majority would have the name John Carpenter on that list.  His impact on horror, suspense and psychological thriller films is undeniable, and his prolific ability to score his films with iconic music he creates puts him in the realm of legends.  For a director that dwells in the areas usually set aside for disposable box office fodder, it is surprising that at least five of his films (and possibly more, depending on who’s doing the debating) could be consider bonafide classics.

Perhaps the most interesting thing about putting this list together was the discovery and true understanding of just how much range that Carpenter is capable of, even if his films are distinctly his both in terms of genre-based elements and directorial style.  When it comes to the films Memoirs of an Invisible Man (a personal favorite from my pre-teen years) and Starman, I didn’t even realize they were John Carpenter films because they were so different from what I’d come to know him for.  Revisiting the films I was familiar with gave me great joy, and taking in the films I’d overlooked or passed on gave me a deeper understanding of John Carpenter not only as a creative spirit, but as a man trying to stake a claim to his voice in an industry famous for conformity.  

With that being said, I took all eighteen of John Carpenter’s feature length films and ranked them in terms of my personal enjoyment and opinion.  As always, the floor is open for discussion, so feel free to share your thoughts and open up a dialogue, and enjoy!

18. The Ward (2010) I’m going to be 100% honest with you all… coming in to this list, I pretty much had already decided that Ghosts of Mars was going to anchor this list.  Fifteen movies in, it felt like my prediction would come to be.  But then, something funny happened… The Ward showed up in my mailbox courtesy of Netflix DVD.  I watched the film, and so many other films came to mind : Girl, Interrupted… One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest… Shutter Island… Session 9… Unsane… The Jacket… the list goes on and on.  That’s the thing about this film… nearly 40 years in, the last thing you’d expect John Carpenter to be is derivative.  The Ward really wants to be an asylum thriller, a revenge-based ghost story and a period piece, but it never really commits to any of its aspirations, and what we’re left with is 90 minutes of Amber Heard, and in an information age obsessed with cancel culture, what’s going on in her personal life is infinitely more compelling than what she’s going through in The Ward.  There are some good shots of fire in the film, and Mamie Gummer is acting circles around everyone she shares the frame with, but otherwise there’s not much to this one.  Hopefully this won’t be the last film of Carpenter’s career.

17. Ghosts of Mars (2001) If nothing else, Ghosts of Mars is an ambitious film.  What it lacks in coherency, it makes up for in its amalgamation of ideas.  The film is all at once a prisoner transport film, a film about a team of crack operatives, a film featuring a revolt and a tale about respecting the land that you intend to exploit for its resources.  It sets itself up to be a John Carpenter take on Rashomon, with a number of stories being told through a singular unreliable narrator (due to the lack of those left to tell their own story).  While there are some good ideas present in this film, not to mention some wonderful examples of non-traditional casting for an action movie, Ghosts of Mars falls short in its need to be everything to everyone.  The film has garnered a cult following since its release, but as someone who saw this in theaters during its initial run, it still doesn’t do it for me.

16. Vampires (1998) If From Dusk till Dawn isn’t enough to satisfy your Vampire Western cravings, then I humbly submit to you John Carpenter’s swing at the mixture in the form of Vampires.  All the earmarks of both genres are present : a crack team of experts hit hard and early, an undercurrent of religion that neither praises nor damns it, a seemingly insurmountable antagonist with a single-minded blind focus, and even a damsel in distress forced to rough it with the roughnecks.  Like many of his films, the Carpenter score plays unofficial star against the bananas series of events laid out.  Speaking of crazy events, leave it to the likes of James Woods and Daniel Baldwin to take what could be best classified as pulp material and elevate it into the realms of honest entertainment.  While not as flashy or fantastic as some of his previous films, the special effects work is effective (no pun intended), with a nice batch of memorable kills sprinkled throughout the film.  If this film would’ve been made in the 1980s, I would argue that it could’ve been timeless, but unfortunately, it screams of the 1990s in all the ways that make a film dated, which is even funnier when you consider it was released near the end of the decade.  Vampires is fun, but I’d be lying if I called it a classic.

15. Assault on Precinct 13 (1976) Assault on Precinct 13 marks the proper feature debut for John Carpenter, with Dark Star essentially being a glorified student film.  Interestingly enough, the film has a ton of representation across the board in its casting, making it one of the more diverse films released on a major level with its Black lead and strong supporting cast featuring women, Black and Hispanic actors/actresses.  At the time the film was released, the gang problem was going from an underground and isolated situation to more of a widespread panic, and Assault on Precinct 13 provides plenty of subtext in terms of how gangs are viewed, the perception of their impact on the community and, most importantly, their everlasting struggles with the police.  Speaking of the police, there are some subtle jabs at the inept practices of police in terms of administration and the way the handle prisoners, all of which lead to a perfect storm of despair for our protagonists.

14. Escape from L.A. (1996) This film marked the final collaboration between Kurt Russell and John Carpenter, and what an odd one to finalize such a rich and fruitful collaborative relationship.  There are some things about the film that definitely work… Snake Pliskin is (and always will be) magic on the screen.  Los Angeles certainly had the landmarks and the culture suitable for stylizing into a post-apocalyptic labyrinth of dangers.  The statements the film makes on the moral majority and the isolation of people over cultural and ideological differences works as a harbinger for what could be in an extreme example, and has only become more relevant as time has passed.  That being said, this film seems to not know whether it wants to be a comedy on the sly, or whether it’s just accepting of taking the often occasional odd detour for seemingly aesthetic purposes, which makes sense when one realizes that the film spent a decade in development hell simply because Carpenter was afraid to pull the trigger on a script he felt was “too light, too campy”.  While a departure in comparison to Escape from New York, and definitely a tonal shift from the vast majority of the Carpenter films, it does have its moments… unfortunately, the moments are not frequent enough to put this one in the upper echelon of Carpenter’s work.

13. Dark Star (1974) For a debut film, Dark Star already had enough elements to be distinctly John Carpenter… the use of an ensemble cast, DIY special effects, a John Carpenter score, and hilariously, a Kurt Russell facsimile in the form of Cal Kuniholm.  Oddly, this is really the only proper science-fiction film in the Carpenter canon (outside of the flop turned cult semi-classic Ghost of Mars), with several pieces of machinery requiring voice casting due to their intelligence and autonomy.  Dark Star is also unique within the Carpenter legacy due to its reliance on wit, logic and humor more so than star power and wild premises, making it one of the more cerebral films made by Carpenter.  On a personal note, my old friend Thomas spent YEARS trying to get me to watch this film, and after finally taking the time to do so, I’d love to have those years back to commit to the fandom of this film.  It’s sadly been a bit lost to time, but it’s one of the John Carpenter films that I like to recommend the most, as it definitely deserves to be remembered.

12. The Fog (1980) After a massive hit like Halloween, I’m sure expectations from viewers and critics alike was sky high.  With his follow-up after his first foray with fame, John Carpenter released The Fog, a supernatural affair with a much more deliberate pace than anything he’d previously released.  Perhaps it was this slower, more methodical approach, combined with an extremely powerful use of subtle practical effects, that makes The Fog feel more like an uneventful slow burn than it actually is.  More so than any film he’d released previously, The Fog pulls you in over your head into its tone and mood, and while nothing much on the fantastic side occurs, there are levels to visual stimulus used to engulf viewers in an emotion matching those within the world of The Fog.  The sound design for The Fog does a great bit of the heavy lifting as well, which is something that should be noted, as it is some of the best work in that realm that Carpenter and company executed for any of his films.  A subtle masterpiece, but it feels like the victim of being made on borrowed time, kind of like an album made by a band while in the midst of touring their breakout release.

11. Prince of Darkness (1987) In-between two of John Carpenter’s most outstanding and wonderfully outlandish offerings came Prince of Darkness, a deeply methodical slow burn that parks itself firmly in the intersection of science and religion and mines it for horrific fodder.  Tinges of science fiction, mystery, horror, espionage and the supernatural are all working in tandem to create a literal house of horrors filled with intellectuals blind to the proof right in front of their eyes.  As the midpoint of Carpenter’s self-appointed Apocalypse Trilogy (which also features The Thing and In The Mouth of Madness), it certainly continues the tradition of unfolding mysteries and threats that transition from vessel to vessel.  Carpenter’s score is doing overtime in terms of setting the mood, nearly establishing itself as a physical presence in the manner that it accents what is presented visually, and the use of color is a bit more expressive than what is normally found in the Carpenter production style.  The insect motif is also a nice touch, as it serves to literally make your skin crawl moments before traditional scares occur.

10. Christine (1983) On paper, the combination of a Stephen King story told through the lens of John Carpenter sounds fantastic, and Christine is definitely the type of Stephen King story that can fit the Carpenter bill.  Being a teenager can be a frustrating section of life, and for the vast majority, the day that you own a car symbolizes an important step towards maturity and freedom.  Stephen King took this ages old scenario and made it a deeper story about finding yourself outside of the protection and orders of others (be it dictator parents, picture perfect friends or a possessed vehicle), and John Carpenter picks up on every nuance of this subtext.  Outside of Harry Dean Stanton, the film is cast mostly absent those in the realms of star power (and with all due respect, calling Stanton a traditional star is a stretch)... for my money’s worth, I imagine that Carpenter did this consciously in order to let Christine be the star of her story.  Halloween proved that Carpenter knew a thing or two about horror films, and Christine shows that he can apply that formula with such precision that an inanimate object becomes terrifying.

9. Starman (1984) Starman is one of those movies that I’ve always been familiar with, but never took the time to seek out and watch… so much so that I didn’t even realize that it was a John Carpenter film until I started working on this list.  Tonally, the film differs from other John Carpenter offerings, as it has more Spielberg energy to it than it does Carpenter stylings (although it does embrace the use of practical special effects, albeit outside of a battle or shock-based context).  The invasiveness of an alien lifeform morphing into your lost love one right before your eyes is certainly jarring, but it makes for a stellar hook that yanks the viewer right into the heart of the narrative matter.  By using Jeff Daniels’ Starman as a surrogate for someone with no understanding of human customs, Carpenter is able to extoll core human values without coming off as holier than thou or preachy, all the while setting up a buddy road trip scenario in order to accelerate the interaction between his leads and capture some countryside photography along the way.  For a director known for doing the most, Starman is a surprisingly tender venture, succeeding via the use of less from a director associated with always doing more.

8. Village of the Damned (1995) The best thing about Village of the Damned is how much it feels like John Carpenter hitting the randomizer button and striking gold with every bit of output.  Do you dig small creepy towns?  How about unexplained weather anomalies?  Strange occurrences and phenomena?  A cult made up of psychic kids with mind control abilities that woke up and chose violence?  Maybe even a little conspiracy and paranoia?  This film has all of that and then some.  The film actually stands out as one of the best looking in the Carpenter canon, with a surprisingly vivid use of color implemented that offsets the shades of grey the children are bathed in.  Everything about this movie is drenched in a heavy creep factor, especially the performances of the children, who manage to be so pitch perfect in their characterizations that it is genuinely unsettling.  Watching this story unfold is one of the most enjoyable experiences presented by Carpenter, and it stands as an example of when a fascinating concept is met with brilliant execution.

7. Memoirs of an Invisible Man (1992) Memoirs of an Invisible Man came out at an interesting crossroads between my budding interest in film, the idling of John Carpenter’s career, and the downward spiral that was Chevy Chase’s career.  Looking at it through an objective lens is rough, but time (and the task at hand) has allowed me to do so, and I find that I still enjoy this film as much now as I did then.  The special effects at the time were downright jaw-dropping, and many of them still hold up.  The practical effects help sell the illusion, so much so that the illusion is implied in points that it would be a budgetary burden and still manages to not distract.  With Chase in the lead, one would imagine that the film would be funny, and while not a comedy, it does allow for several beats of well-timed comedic moments.  At the time, the film’s narrative was panned for being uninspired, but in my opinion, some of the harsh judgement may have come from the expectations set by the careers of Carpenter and Chase.  While not your standard John Carpenter affair, the film does showcase his ability to “play the game” and create solid work, even if it continues to be harshly judged and misunderstood.

6. Escape from New York (1981) When it comes to actors connected to directors, it’s usually not long before the pairing of Kurt Russell and John Carpenter comes up, and Escape from New York marks the genesis of this cinematic bond.  With his traditional good looks, no-nonsense attitude and penchant for sharp wit, Russell was the perfect leading man for Carpenter’s vivid cinematic exploitation ventures.  As for Escape from New York, the city had yet to undertake its Disneyfication of the 1990s, and the movie stands as a bleak vision of what the crime and moral dissonance of the city (and era) could lead to if taken to the extreme.  Creating the worst place in America as an inescapable pit to drop the President into immediately sets the stakes high, and with little to no background, we are given the one man seemingly capable of achieving against impossible odds in the form of Snake Pliskin.  Like some kind of urban Mad Max, Escape from New York gets wilder and wilder as the minutes tick away, making it one of the most iconic New York films to date, and one of the strongest offerings from John Carpenter during his legendary run.    

5. Halloween (1978) The first of many John Carpenter classic films, and arguably the most iconic of the bunch.  Three films in, John Carpenter not only managed to turn one of the biggest profits in independent film history, but he created one of the all time great movie monsters in Michael Myers.  The film put Jamie Lee Curtis on a rocket to success, turning her from a burgeoning television hopeful to a certified rising Hollywood star in just one role.  In terms of pure production, the trend of growth continued for Carpenter as his cinematography gained more freedom of expression, the performances from his actors and actresses felt more natural, and quite possibly most importantly, his scoring ability was hitting maximum resonance, with the main theme of Halloween being equally as iconic as Michael Myers himself.  The film has become an October staple for the masses, but manages to be enjoyable any time of the year due to its sheer ability to entertain and frighten audiences.  If one were looking for a singular example of the John Carpenter aesthetic, Halloween stands out as a smart choice.  Bonus points to John Carpenter for giving the Howard Hawks produced version of The Thing a shoutout two whole films before remaking it.

4. In the Mouth of Madness (1994) Films about collective psychosis are nothing new… be they fodder for popcorn consumption such as Fallen or Identity, or teetering on the realms of art like Jacob’s Ladder, they are always a strong foundation for something memorable.  Maybe that’s why In the Mouth of Madness seems at once exciting and familiar while watching it, as collective psychosis provides John Carpenter with plenty of ingredients to make his trademark-worthy best.  Building an entire referential lore around fictional fiction writer Sutter Cane builds all kinds of abstract immersion layers to explore, especially with direct references (and delightful digs) at Stephen King and his Multiverse.  Sam Neill and Julie Carmen take us by the hand and yank us through the innovative twists and turns with wonderful chemistry, with Neill giving an especially cavalier performance.  The film has a billion and a half production touches that put the creep factors on overdrive, with some of the directing choices nearing the realms of Lynchian.  It’s also a nice touch to hear Carpenter back in the scoring chair (even in a shared capacity).  Films like this one aren’t done justice via rumination, review or commentary… it’s best to just dive in and deal with the repercussions on the other side of it all.  

3. They Live (1988) John Carpenter has made some amazing films in his time, but there are a small chosen few that contain genius-level writing and execution.  Of this upper class of films, it’s arguable that They Live is both the most entertaining and the most thought provoking in terms of what it is saying (not to mention how much more relevant that message has gotten over time).  A damning examination of capitalism, mass consumption, class divides, media influence and the use of police state tactics, Carpenter paints his science fiction with bold strokes of relevant facts that many often choose to ignore.  The action in the film is top notch (including quite possibly one of the best fight scenes ever captured on film between Roddy Piper and Keith David), the makeup work on the aliens is instantly iconic, and the story not only sticks with you, but contains aesthetic elements reminiscent of Jenny Holzer’s influential artwork while being used for an identical purpose.  If this list centered solely on John Carpenter minor box office successes that became top tier cult classics, They Live would likely occupy the top spot.

2. The Thing (1982) The Thing is one of those movies that works on so many levels that it’s hard to fathom.  The shorthand used to set up the story gives you a clear understanding of the situation with minimal use of exposition that is replaced by loads of character and world building.  The threat is initially unclear, but the indication of its eventual impact kicks off the film with context that is only understood after your first complete viewing.  John Carpenter turned over the scoring helm to Ennio Morricone, perhaps the only individual who could score a Carpenter film better than Carpenter himself, and the results are classic.  The special effects work is brilliant, as it is not only initially shocking to see the terrifying transformations the creature undertakes, but it is deeply traumatic in a way that sticks with viewers permanently.  Carpenter could not have asked for a better ensemble cast, especially considering that it seems like everyone came prepared to play team ball rather than try and outshine one another.  It’s always fascinating to me that this film was widely rejected both critically and at the box office upon release, as it took me way too long to get around to this one (and I was only 3 at the time of release).  I’ve always encountered nothing but deep fandom for the film, and rightly so, as this film is a masterpiece that deserves every piece of praise it receives.

1. Big Trouble in Little China (1986) What doesn’t this film do right?  Kurt Russell is giving his all as Jack Burton, and the film beautifully wraps itself around him in a hurricane of action-based slippery slopes.  Setting the film in San Francisco automatically gives it a memorable aesthetic, and locking down the majority of the film in iconic Chinatown is nothing but cinematic gold.  We’re told that we’re going to get an unbelievable story, then we meet our everyman that will guide us along on our journey, but very quickly his expectations (and by extension, ours) are blown clear out of the water, and things continue to escalate at an exponential rate.  Memorable runs in high quantity and quality for this venture… some of the most quotable John Carpenter film lines come from Big Trouble in Little China, his score for the film ranks high among the canon, the special effects are electrifying (pun intended), the action is high octane, and the martial arts is treated with complete respect in its presentation.  Outside of They Live or Vampires, this is arguably the most fun film of the Carpenter collection, and is almost guaranteed to turn the unfamiliar into fans.

[dramajib]

TOKE2: Lookout

Episode 9* check-in

(*I was going to do my first check-in at episode 8, but, uh, yeah.)

Up till episode 8, I was still slightly confused about who the leader of the vigilantes actually is. The priest man? That kid who came to see him? Who even was that anyway? Am I supposed to recognize him? 

Sometimes I wish I was better with faces.

But then in episode 9 we see Do Han basically explicitly sending out instructions, so I’m preeeetty sure he’s the leader after all. The question now is what kind of leader is he. Is he so hung up on his own justice that he’ll use these people (duh, it’s a kdrama, of course not. Or even if he does, he’ll repent and make good by the end of it) or is he a big ole softie, or is he actually hyper logical, or is it some combination of the above... 

...or, and I really doubt this is the case, but it would be kind of interesting, is this a case of a kid who gave up when life got too rough and turned to the dark side, and is using his powers for evil? By which I mean he’s not just pulling a long con, but that he’s pulling it for his own benefit rather than for any search for truth or fairness or justice.

What I do know for sure is that I love how campy Do Han is when he's putting up a front. I want to believe that his flashy side isn’t a lie, and that his genius furtive fight for what’s right doesn’t preclude him from a need to look flash. 

Also, the interactions between Do Han and Eun Joong are starting to grow on me, and I can’t wait to see how annoyed Eun Joong gets when he finds out Do Han is a good guy after all. Watching him try to forget how annoying he is is going to be so much fun.

Speaking of Eun Joong:

His terrible fake out from work was one of my favourite things. I feel a little bad that Do Han is able to take advantage of his goodness to get him to do what he needs. It seems like Do Han looks down on him a little because of how one dimensionally good he is, which I’m thinking might at some point in the future be a learning point for Do Han? Or maybe I’m reading too much into these characters and all we’ll get is some fight against corruption. Who knows.

Soo Ji.... 

... is not growing on me.

As of episode 5, she’s teamed up with the vigilantes, but she’s still a volatile mess. In a way I really appreciate how Bo Mi just calls her out on her shit, to show her how her actions have made things worse all around. I know I’m supposed to feel bad for her, because every time she tries to do something good things get worse, but so far, I just don’t like this character. 

At one point in my notes I compare Soo Ji to the people at work who drive me mental on a daily basis. She has zero sense of priorities. Girl. GIRL. Don't tell me you couldn’t have left Bomi and Kyung Soo to track the kid’s location and get the police on the case while you made your escape. Even if your old team was on your tail there are other cops in Seoul. 

And then we realize she can’t really distinguish between her dead daughter and this other little girl in danger. She’s clearly still got some serious trauma to work through, so maybe that’s a problem I have with Do Han, for using her to get things done instead of getting her the help she really needs right now.

But it’s more than just that. Soo Ji is manipulative (see almost every conversation she has with Kyung Soo, and even with boss-lady), she thinks she’s the only one who can figure things out or who cares about others (see her refusal to do things other peoples way, even though things keep going wrong when she just barges ahead with what she thinks she should do), and she’s never shown the slightest inclination of caring about how her mom is dealing with all of this. Keep in mind she yelled at her mother for being in denial about Yu Na’s death and then promptly walked out of the house knowing that she was most likely going to be jailed for murder. Hopefully this last point is just a gap in storytelling and I see later on that she’s not a horrible daughter after all. Mama must have got the money for that chicken shop from somewhere after all. 

Oh and! She keeps talking down to Bo Mi and Kyung Soo using her cop knowledge about how what they’re doing is illegal. Pot, kettle? No?

One good thing I can say about her though is that she does kick ass in a fight. And her heart is in the right place. I’m hoping for a really strong character arc that will help me warm up to her, but as you can see, right now, I have a lot stacked up against her.

In general:

I was really struggling for a couple of episodes in between. The episodes all seem to start off and end strong, but lag in between, and I wasn’t motivated to keep going. Things seemed to pick up a bit in episode 8, and I got back from work yesterday raring to watch episode 9, so hopefully that will continue to be the case.

I’m also enjoying the soundtrack a fair bit. I can’t remember what show exactly it was (I want to say My Beautiful Bride?) that has a super catchy OST that wormed itself into my head, and while this isn’t quite on that level, I won’t be surprised if I catch myself humming “It’s time for the paybaaaaack” some time later this week.

It took me embarrassingly long to realize that all of this was leading back to the very first scene of the drama. Refer once more to my inability to recognize peoples faces. 

I noticed they seem to be doing something similar with the new point of the story we’re at, with the freeze scene of Soo Ji getting apprehended on a car bonnet while dressed as a patrol cop. While I think it’s an interesting approach, I’m not sure how it would work if they keep it up throughout the series. Do I really want to know the outcome beforehand? It works in NCIS though. I guess I’ll reserve judgement on that for now, but check in again with me at the halfway mark.

Jung Suk Yong is a brilliant actor, and I’m confident they wouldn’t waste his talents on such a minor role as the one this character seems to be playing so far. We’ve been getting lots of suspicious lingering shots of him, especially when Do Han is in the vicinity, so I’m really excited to find out what his role in the bigger picture is. 

It's a relief to see that our bad guy Attorney General in the making has some opposition, and this isn't just unilateral corruption. So many times in dramas you get just one small group of people fighting the big fight, so it’s nice to see glimpses of things like the press questioning his eligibility and suitability for the role. I wouldn’t be surprised if we later see that Do Han is behind all the journalists as well, but for now, I like that it’s making things a bit more... reassuring, in relation to real life.

Also, I was thrilled when we found out that murderous kid’s mom probably knows what her son is up to, and that at least part of her reason for getting him a bodyguard is to stop him from doing anything bad rather than protecting him from getting hurt. I hope we see a nice meaty showdown between her and her husband - whose nastiness I hope we explore further soon, because so far I’m not actually seeing him do anything terrible, it’s just a lot of suspicion.

Overall so far?

I love Bo Mi. 

I love Kyung Soo. 

I love Do Han. 

I love boss-lady. 

I want to see more of the priest dude. (Who is potentially a real priest, not a fake one?)