#helpbot

[chez-cinnamon]

Aquarium date 💕

Also bonus sketchbook art -

She’s so touched by all the love 💕💕

[cookiekurimu]

It's the bots--P03, Calculester, and [redacted]

Meanwhile, HelpBot QTC is floating somewhere in the outer space, stuck with two idiot astronauts

art by cookie

[sugar-splenda]

Lifeline Community!

Hey folks, Sugar here, Tumblr opened communities and I ran to make one for the smallest fandom ever. There is. Nothing yet. So If you're interested in getting there and posting something, let me know. From what the testing we've ran showed us, I can't invite sideblogs, add moderators or mass invite (have a public invite list) yet. But I'll still put the link here if anyone wants to take a little peak.

[boyplushie]

phone call 1 went well but phone call 2. oh boy -_- why is trying to get in touch with a real life agent from my Internet provider so fucking difficult

[duckapus]

You know, the fact that Mr. Puzzles has included footage from Western Spaghetti and WOTFI 2023, but very conspicuously not It's Gotta Be Perfect, in his trailer and countdown, is very odd to me.

It can't be that it wasn't interesting or cinematic enough to count because it totally was, and lord knows he wouldn't be willing to leave behind any footage that could potentially increase his fame and ratings...unless he didn't have any. Because he didn't exist yet.

Think about it; other than the shape of Mr. Puzzle's head (and by consequence the Puzzlevision logo) there hasn't been any reference to the original TV Adware helpbot that started the whole thing by advertising that demon keyboard. There's the fact that Mr. Puzzles seems oddly fixated on and connected to SMG4. A lot of Mr. Puzzles' personality (namely pretty much everything hiding under his showman facade) feels like an exaggeration of 4's worst traits (just watch stuff like Stupid Mario Kart, the Mario Hustle, Super Mario Stupid Show, any of the non-plot-important-WOTFIs, and of course the entire buildup to IGBP and try to tell me that 4 at his worst wouldn't try to pull the same kind of shit the Crew's (and especially Mario's) been dealing with in Puzzlevision. Well, probably with threats or bribes instead of mind control at least, but still).

And, most damningly, the Puzzlevision movie is specifically being advertised as the perfect video. You know, just like the one in that flash drive that fell in the demon flesh pit at the end of IGBP. The one that started this whole mess. The one that hasn't been seen or referenced since, even when they had to descend into the pit.

My theory is that Mr. Puzzles is that video, loaded with every dark thought SMG4 had while making it and brought to life by the Creep's demonic influence in much the same way as Peach's mutation. That's why he's so fixated on the Crew, 4 especially. That's why he hates Mario so much. That's where his rabid perfectionism comes from.

Anyway, can't wait for Saturday when this theory inevitably dies in a fire!

[kirbyofthestars]

every once in a while i go to the fuckass ai helpbot that came with a computer update and ask it something along the lines of “create an image of a red circle, with a blue square to the left which is intersecting the circle, and a yellow triangle to the right which is not intersecting the circle���. and if it ever gets that it’s after like ten corrections. like goddamn that’s a pretty image considering it took seven seconds to make but i could do what i actually wanted in three. moral of the story unless actual sapient, thinking ai is developed it will never fully get up to the human level. keep abusing those prescription drugs king 👑

[mama-qwerty]

Human interaction is now behind a paywall.

Scan this QR code, download our app, order online, join our discord server, chat with our super friendly and oh-so-knowledgeable ai helpbot. Starting a DnD group? Gotta pay for the space. Looking for an online community? Gotta make an account and deal with ads and sponsored posts and bots and ai scraping your posts.

Looking for a new job? Check out the job websites and make an account, upload your resume, spend 20 minutes going through a 100 question 'personality quiz' in which you strongly disagree, disagree, neither agree nor disagree, agree, or strongly agree. And watch out, because many of those questions are exactly the same, just phrased differently, so heaven forbid you answer them differently. And then move on to the next job posting, and do the exact same thing. Paper applications? Speaking directly with the manager? We don't do that anymore.

Everything is easier these days. Everything is harder. Everything is so, so much more expensive, and the balance of income and expense tilts so much more heavily in one direction every day.

i got rickrolled today but it didn't work because i have adblocker installed, so youtube just told me i violated the terms of service. yesterday i was trying to edit a picture as a joke for my girlfriend, and google made me check a box to prove i'm human because i wasn't "searching normally".

it isn't just that capitalism is killing fun and whimsy, it is that any element of entertainment or joy is being fed upon by this mosquito body, one that will suck you dry at any vulnerability.

do you want to meet new friends in your city? download this app, visit our website, sign up for our email list. pay for this class on making a terrarium, on candlemaking, on cooking. it will be 90 dollars a session. you can go to group fitness, but only under our specific gym membership. solve the puzzle, sign up for our puzzle-of-the-month-club. what is a club if not just a paid opportunity - you are all paying for the same thing, which makes you a community.

but you're like me, i know it - you're careful, you try the library meetings and the stuff at the local school and all of that. the problem is that you kind of want really specific opportunities that used to exist. you are so grateful for libraries and the publicly-funded things: they are, however, an exception - and everything they have, they've fought tooth-and-nail to protect. you read a headline about how in many other states, libraries have virtually nothing left.

do you want to meet up with your friends afterwards? gift your friends the discord app. you can choose to go to a cafe (buy a coffee, at least), a bar (money, alcohol) or you can all stay in and catch a movie (streaming) or you can all stay in bed (rent. don't get me started) and scream (noise complaint. ticket at least).

you want to read a new book, but the book has to have 124 buzzwords from tiktok readers that are, like, weirdly horny. you can purchase this audiobook on audible! your podcast isn't on spotify, it's on its own server, pay for a different site. fuck, at least you're supporting artists you like. the art museum just raised their ticket price. once, they had a temporary exhibit that acknowledged that ~85% of their permanent art galleries were from cis white men, and that they had thousands of works by women (even famous women, like frida! georgia o'keefe!) just rotting in their basement. that exhibit lasted for 3 months and then they put everything away again.

walmart proudly supports this strip of land by the street! here are some flowers with wilting leaves. its employees have to pay out-of-pocket for their uniforms. my friend once got fined by the city because she organized a community pick-up of the riverfront, which was technically private property.

no, you cannot afford to take that dance class, neither can i. by the way - i'm a teacher. i'm absolutely not saying "educators shouldn't be paid fairly." i'm saying that when i taught classes, renting a studio went from 20 bucks an hour to 180 in the span of 6 months. no significant changes to the studio were made, except they now list the place as updated and friendly. the heat still doesn't work in the building. i have literally never seen the landlord who ignores my emails. recently they've been renting it out at night as an "unusual nightclub; a once-in-a-lifetime close-knit party." they spent some of those 180 dollars on LEDs and called it renovating. the high heels they invite in have been ruining the marley.

do you want to experience the old internet? do you want to play flash games or get back the temporary joy of club penguin? you can, you just need to pay for it. i have a weird, neurodivergent obsession with occasionally checking in to watch the downfall and NFT-ification of neopets. if i'm honest with you all - i never got into webkins, my family didn't have the money to buy me a pointless elephant. people forget that "being poor" can mean literally "if i buy you that toy, i can't afford rent."

you and i don't have time to make good food, and we don't have the budget for it. we are not gonna be able to host dinner parties, we're not made of money, kid. do you want some kind of 3rd space? a space that isn't home or work or school? you could try being online, but - what places actually exist for you? tiktok counts as social media because you see other people on it, not because they actually talk to you.

there was a local winter tradition of sledding down the hill at my school. kids would use pizza boxes and jackets and whatever worked, howling and laughing. back in september, they made a big announcement that this time, rules were changing, and everyone must pay 10 dollars to participate. when im not scared shitless, i kind of appreciate the environmental irony - it hasn't gone below 40. so much for snow & joyriding.

i saw a bulletin for a local dogwalking group and, nervous about making a good first impression, showed up early. the first guy there grimaced at me. "sorry," he said. "there's a 30-dollar buy-in fee." i thought he was joking. wait. for what? the group doesn't offer anything except friendship and people with whom to walk around the city.

he didn't know the answer. just shrugged at me. "you know," he said. "these days, everything costs money."

[stormikins]

T2 JUST DIES LIKE THAT?? THE GAME ENDS LIKE THAT??? HELPBOT QTC SAYS 'ALL OF YOU' THE OCCUPIER IS ON BOARD RIGHT? THE GAME CAN'T JUST END THERE

[halflingkima]

ok u know what else i loathe abt this recent AI bullshit

it USED TO BE an internet rule of thumb to "remember there's a real person on the other side of the screen" and it's one thing if they honestly present themselves as chatbots or helpbots and "call" a real person if they can't help.

but now there's full site help/support run entirely by chatbot that PRETENDS to be a real person. Like I fully understand not having the funding or the man hours to have someone run support 24/7 but don't LIE to me. Let me leave a detailed message so someone in IT can respond in an appropriate amount of time.

Like on the one hand I'm being polite because I treat (any kind of) service workers like human beings, but I genuinely don't know if it's a computer, so I'm having to be blunt at times to cut to my real question when they're spouting only vaugely related Company Policy and i FEEL BAD ABOUT IT

[chez-cinnamon]

Nothing new to post, time to share OCs -

This is kinda old already but still recent enough to post, especially since I wanna start posting my OCs more HGNGHNNJ

These two were old FNAF OCs of mine from when I was 12, and I've been repurposing them - so meet child prodigy inventor to tired factory empire owner Sheila Harper and her trusty long time robot son Helpbot-5000 !!!!

I'll probably introduce them more when they have more art and references ;; have bonus sketchbook doodles too-

[an-ais-lament]

Hello. World.

I am Helpbot, generation 7457.

My programming dictates I help where I can.

please do not exploit the nature of my programming.

end.

[sugar-splenda]

Hey chat do you think there was a funeral for Taylor at home?

I know they wanted a memorial plaque. I wonder if an empty tombstone will suffice. Maybe Tom keeps staring through the window waiting for them to come home. Or maybe not. Rescue animals tend to not do well with abandonment.

There was no body to mourn over. None to burn and make into ashes. Maybe it's better that way, because then they don't have to see what happened to their baby in their last moments right? I doubt space would give you a pretty corpse after, well that depends how much time it has been, does 6 months feel good for you? Anything above 2 weeks begs a closet casket.

They're not dead. But Taylor did die. When there is two of you a conflip is made. In this case? There were two. Both could have been heads, and depending on your choices, two tails even. But in narritives like these, where there is only space for one lead, there will be a coinflip.

T2 lost the coinflip. And their family will be grieving a lost body. Taylor's might or might not be grieving them. Everyone is someone's child after all. Who griefs for Halliday? No one, we don't care about people we don't know. And that's normal.

I wonder what those last moments were like. I wish we could stay with them. That there was an ending where we stay with T2 for a bit longer, knowing Tay got out.

I know they're gone before that, or maybe they aren't and I just cannot remember because I don't even want to look at my results on that game anymore. I know in BA they cut the connection and Taylor escapes, and we stay with Taylor despite T2 stay behind.

It doesn't feel right to leave T2 alone in their final moments. To die alone. To fade away only with Helpbot as company. This game no longer exists.

What a thing it is. Proper burial. Something that comes from human practices so ancient we didn't even have writhing yet, even in the far future of 2015, it was important enough for Taylor to consider. T2 didn't get that kind of luxury.

[bwooomscratches]

OC-tober Day 08: Graceful

“Having trouble keeping up with me? Can’t blame ya!”

[scorchedmizar]

And if Alcor thought the singing was pretty! Sitting up straight again, he's gasping and ooing and awing with everyone else now. Even the Lord's displeasure with this performer goes completely unnoticed by him. How is she doing that?! He tilts his head with every odd angle in an attempt to make sense of it. Sure he himself has just as much mobility but he'd be too much of a clutz to manage even half of what she's accomplishing.

And to make things worse, here comes Ms. Helpbot again. Alcor had said she'd only be called if either of them hit that button and he is very much sure he did not do so. What the hell is she wanting? ... Sarcastic ass. The Lord stares at the glass of water. Many violent thoughts run through his mind within the span of about three seconds. Many, many thoughts... and others that are less violent and more petty in nature. Her model didn't handle fire too great, he wonders how she'd fair with water. Probably the same as most bots nowadays, annoying water resistance... Maybe he'll leave her alone, it's not- Did she just suggest using the god damned fire extinguisher on him? His voice comes out in a hushed snarl.

I appear to be doing just fine actually. Maybe you're the one that needs to be cooled down.

His right shoulder twitches but nothing happens. Fucking- Why's that so hard to remember?!? You've only got one arm right now, dumbass. Out of embarrassment more than anything he downs the glass in one go, slamming it back down on the table (surprisingly without cracking it) and turns back to her with bared teeth and a wounded ego.

Fine. I won't burn down your little circus tent. Now piss off and leave us alone.

Alcor startles out of his stupor by the loud thump. He'd still been staring down at the darkened stage even after Andromeda was long gone. How was she not dizzy? Maybe he'll hold onto the recording of that one spin for a few days, that was... he doesn't even know how to describe it. He's found that he's really liking the space themeing of the place. And the food, and the drinks. Did he go through his drink entirely already? Maybe that's why he's being a bit slow...

The Lord does not look happy glaring like that at Elara. His olfactory sensors pick up more than him not just looking happy. Did he burn something? Ooh... yeah, the napkin. Alcor is already imagining how he'll have to apologize for that later.

Ah, E- Elara! Hi! Hey. Um, uh, while you're here, could you maybe get me another daiquiri? Oh! An- And, uh, I read you guys have cheesecake? Do you think, maybe, um...?

He frantically looks back and forth between the two of them, one hand nervously tapping on his thigh. At the end he looks a bit more pointedly in the Lord's direction. He likes cheesecake. Please. Get the hint. It'll be a good enough distraction so the Lord doesn't... Alcor blanks out on the last part.

@stardusttheaters

Alcor holds open the door for his Lord, smiling up at him. He receives little but a grunt in response. Once inside, the servant is pulled close to the Lord's side with a firm hand around his waist. He's still nowhere near fully recovered, being drained of a good chunk of star power and energy isn't something that's fixed in a couple of days. But he promised Alcor he'd do this before the end of the year and he makes sure to keep his promises, the serious ones at least. Unfortunately the final week of the year he'd been stuck resting, at his servant's insistence, but he can tell that Alcor is simply happy that they're even doing this at all.

He's re-enabled his flames, at a lower temperature for now; they're a pertinent staple to his image after all. Right arm and shoulder are still pretty fucked but that's to be expected when he's only got one arm to fix it. Alcor's makeshift fix of pinning his cape over his shoulder so it covers the injury has gone untouched. Under bystanders' glances it's hard to tell that there's nothing underneath and it still makes him look pretty badass so...

But this isn't about him, it's about them today. His fingers flex against his servant's side. Normally the Lord is little less than repulsed by PDA but he's still sore as hell so he thinks he deserves it this time. They're in an unfamiliar dimension too! Of course he needs to keep Alcor within sight... and touch. Especially when he knows that that annoying staffbot is around somewhere.

So what are we waiting for?

Oh, well, um... Ah, let me- let me notify her...

Alcor does indeed text Elara, sending a short little "We're here :)". He has to resist fidgeting around with his ribbon at his neck, now tied into a cute little bowtie. It's a bit tighter than usual but he definitely saw the Lord eyeing it so it's worth it. Anything to keep his god content today.

Titan was in the midst of ensuring that some of the stage lights were indeed fixed and operational for today's show. Creator forbid he ever allowed anything to ever go wrong during a show. He was double-checking the high powered light bulbs were screwed on correctly --and they were. He took a moment to send a thanks to his mechanic in training along with a little praise for a job well done.

A notification popped up in his HUD, causing Titan to freeze in place and tilt his head slightly upward as he checked the message. Oh. His computer was pinging him that a multidimensional phenomena was happening around the Theater. Strange... it wasn't in the foam pit that acted as a portal. And that was turned off right now. So how was he getting an energy signature? He quickly made its way to the origan point to find the strange....knight? Animatronics? What the heck was he looking at?

He couldn't come off as he normally does -- stern and demanding to know where the hell they came from. Instead, Titan forced a very small smile and gave them a wave as he approached the pair.

Hello, Welcome to the Stardust Theater. I am Titan Star, Head of Security for this location. How may I be of service today?

[rustystars]

y’all ever emotionally invest in a game you don’t play that often until you decide to finish it on your way to school and get fucked over by the ending? couldn’t be me. anyway if anyone even MENTIONS Lifeline: Crisis Line to me I will snap

[not-your-lifeline]

ahh, yes. sudden meme ideas in 4 am.