#hence the connection to spinel

[smile-files]

♡ YOUR BEST FRIEND! ♡

[darkx-the-dragon-kn1ght]

Chapter 37- Part 6

And that's just talking about Arceus creating the world (and probably the Lake and Creation Trios), fair enough. Speaking of…I see that Light Shard in the display there!

And that's just talking about…well, it could be talking about Arceus’ rings, but it could also be talking about the red, green, blue, and purple cross sigil associated with Reborn. Maybe it's both!

But that…seems to be all to see in the museum, but it was incredibly enlightening. Let me see if I have this right: a long time ago, the Reborn region was the location where a meteor connected to Arceus landed, leading to the world's creation. A civilization living in the region revered Arceus and the meteor, building whole structures and underground passages around the crater to protect the site of impact. To that end, they also built a stone gate of sorts, which was locked with four keys made from ruby, sapphire, emerald, and amethyst; the meteor itself is probably sealed away behind that gate.

However, this civilization died out eventually, their structures becoming ruins and being buried by time (quite literally), until eventually Reborn City was constructed on top of these ruins- probably over the site of the meteor’s landing as well.

That seems to be the story, with a few guesses/assumptions of my own thrown in. And it definitely paints Team Meteor's actions and motivations in a new light, if those assumptions are right. To rebuild the world, erasing this one in the process…they probably wanna use the meteor's power to do that, hence why they need the key jewelry to get that underground door open- if that is where the meteor is located. In addition- I wonder if any of the Team Meteor leaders are maybe descended from those ancients…? Could be extra motivation in the form of “how dare you build a whole city on top of my ancestors’ hard work” or something.

Oh! Oh, another idea! Okay- remember how last time, I suggested Team Meteor was behind the teleportation and earthquake issues in Spinel Town? Well, Team Meteor clearly considers the Reborn region “sacred ground” because of the history of the land (as I just described above), they consider the construction of the city upon it an affront…what if they feel similarly insulted by the taking of the artifacts displayed in the Spinel Town Museum? I mean, Sirius was all like “these jewels were ours before you were ever born” to Anna about the Pendant, surely the same sentiment would apply to these artifacts! 

And what if that one planned PULSE from Mosswater- the one called “Seamless Transportation”- was designed to use teleportation to steal the artifacts right out of the building (although Team Meteor would probably consider it stealing them back)? But then something went wrong somehow, and the PULSE is just teleporting random stuff everywhere instead? I mean, that doesn't explain the earthquakes, sure, but…hey, half of a theorized explanation is better than nothing!

Buuuuut I think it's time to take a break from worldbuilding. Let's turn our attention back to looking for that lady's furniture. We've found one bookshelf and the table, so that leaves:

One TV

One bed

Two chairs

One cabinet

One bookshelf

So…most of the items, still. But that's okay, it still shouldn't be too hard to find the rest of them. Look, I see one of the chairs right there!

Ah…well, hope no one was living in that house.

Chair down! Next, uh…well, I'm just gonna run around town and touch stuff as I see them.

There, already two more items, four overall, we're doing great!

I'm upset I didn't notice that chair earlier, it's literally right there-

But now, I'm running a bit low on places to check…maybe one of them landed in the PokéMart? Xera needs to go there anyways, so might as well check in there too.

Oh! Ooooh…oh, oh that's not good, oh no- we needed that Herbal Extract too!

Not too far from here, huh? I sure hope so- guess we're looking for the Mart now too, on top of the furniture…

Well, at least we found the TV, on the edge of that roof there.

And that was the cabinet, cool, at least we're making progress on that front.

So I think I'm just missing the last bookshelf? And there's still the matter of the PokéMart, but I still haven't found it…

I wonder- did anything get sent to Chrysolia Forest? Stuff was teleporting there too, so I'd say it's possible.

That's…not the PokéMart, but maybe there's a bookshelf in there? No? Just a guy?

Um…well, you know what? Props to this guy for making the best of a weird situation!

Previous

Next

[bakedbananners]

Thinking about MCGA Crystal Gems AU so I’m just gonna ramble a bit under the cut about it or whatever LOL

Magnus- Citrine (duh) who emerged late on Earth and was abandoned by others. Spent hundreds of years alone before being found by Natalie (human) and later on Hearthstone and Blitzen after her death. Gets shattered by Surt (idk a high-ranking gem or maybe diamond) and Samirah/Lionskin Jasper basically picks up his pieces to put back together. After shattering he’s missing a piece which gets replaced with Sumarbrandr- hence why his weapon seems to have its own consciousness and telepathic link (its the only way Jack can manifest as a separate being). Gets poofed and reformed a few times and changes appearance over time (not by much though). Citrine’s weapon is a shield, Sumarbrandr is separate to that but he uses him more often.

Samirah- Lionskin Jasper, a high ranking guard to one of the Diamond courts. She takes a lot of pride in her job, but tends to question the reasons and methods of her Diamond. After taking in Citrine/Magnus and later Alex she abandons her role in the court. Still very loyal, but more so to her new family. Her shapeshifting abilities are incredible, but she doesn’t practice and rarely uses them, preferring to rely on her fighting prowess. Her weapon is her ax.

Alex- Commonly mistaken for Watermelon Tourmaline but is actually a mix of Peridot and Pink Spinel after shattering and reconstruction a long time ago by Mr. Fierro, a jewelry maker. Loves earth and human culture a lot. Due to gem make-up tends to alternate in personality between very serious and very silly. uhh still genderfluid like alternating between feeling masc or fem ig. Excellent at shapeshifting, but her abilities tend to alternate between not working very well (peridot) and being unstable (spinel). She is NOT a fusion, but is typically called that and it gets on her nerves because she’s just ONE person/ consciousness at all times, and has little to no memories of the two gems that existed before her. Has two weapons- a dagger and garrote. Has only gotten poofed once and it freaked him out because he wasn’t sure if his two halves would split apart. He finds Citrine to be a bit of a kindred spirit because of their similar histories. Goes by Speridot or Speri/Sperry or something or maybe just picks the human name Alex bc thats just so trans of him lol

Gunila- Malachite, in the same court as Lionskin, officer of her cadre of jaspers, gets shattered eventually

Mallory- Carnelian, the first to emerge in her kindergarten and very much the leader of that group, fought on the frontlines of a gem war and lost her comrades to shattering/corruption. Deserted her post afterwards to live alone, plant-hopping

Halfborn- Granite or Feldspar or something, basically just a rock lol. Emerged much bigger than expected, almost 7 ft tall. also fought on frontlines of a gem war and lost comrades, eventually left alone on his planet and meets Carnelian after planet-hopping

TJ- Magnetite (type of stone that is magnetic and sometimes put in steel, i thought it would be fitting lol). An excellent fighter during one of the gem wars, but better at long range fighting and tends to get poofed. Deserted after realizing the fighting was futile and bullshit. More of a loner, but very friendly and chill, meets Carnelian/Mallory and Halfborn on a random planet. His weapon is a rifle with bayonet attached.

Blitzen- Onyx, has a few powerful connections but indebted to a certain future-seeing gem and must work for him (meeting Citrine is part of this). Purpose was to be an architect but much rather prefers fashion and helping gems express their unique style. He accidentally gets looped into being a revolutionary by his boss oops lol. He doesnt have a weapon, but is a decent shapeshifter.

Hearthstone- Goshenite, part of an extensive lineage of the gem and had a place in his diamond’s court, but was cast out for being considered “defective”. also indebted like Onyx/Blitzen is. His powers are more mental and he doesnt have a weapon. His “father” gets corrupted and they have to shatter him like in book 3

[faelapis]

say more abt how the diamonds all feel like toxic types of power :eyes: i am Listening

well there’s a few things you can pick up on. their aesthetics is the most obvious, blue’s shroud being a type of modest dress you see for women in several religions (nuns, common portrayal of virgin mary, hijabi women). contrast that to yellow’s heels, shoulderpads and pompadour, which is very 80s businesswoman. this also fits with which parts of the cogntive they represent - yellow being Action and blue being Emotion.

what’s interesting about those two particular types of power is that they’re usually in relation to men, in relation to someone higher up on the totem pole. in many religions (like some sects of catholicism as an example), there are certain roles and positions women cannot have, even if they are praised and revered. blue is someone who clearly enjoys a large amount of power and uses it unjustly, but she is also beholden to someone higher up than herself (white). 

the businesswoman of the 80s is someone who is in many ways portrayed as “catching up” to capitalistic and patriarchical expectations of men instead of defying them. she is expected to both conform to a very particular, traditionally male-led cultural space while also fitting into those rules without breaking any, and like in any capitalist structure, believe in a ladder where some are more valuable than others, and the goal is to be on top of that ladder rather than dismantling it. she is an enforcer of those rules, powerful, and also trapped by them. you can see this within the kind of neoliberal mindset of being a Good Role Model (tm) = someone who is succesful, hustler, a girlboss.

pink and white represent body and thought, also natural opposites. you can think of them as the superego and id in conflict. the body wants for its own sake, the body (id) wants to fulfill itself. it wants to be selfish, doing things because it wants to do them. that’s how everyone starts out in childhood. pink diamond is both a prince and princess in aesthetics, a young one who is thrust into a situation of many priveleges and rules, which all adds up to telling you you CAN’T express your emotions or be selfish, because of how you affect others. there’s no way for you to have a normal “childhood” in that environment, because any emotional outbursts has power. it equals the pain of others.

white is the one who represents that ‘can’t’ - thought, selflessness, superego. she knows she cannot be a person in any real way, she is a symbol first. she has to embody an ideal, or she may as well not exist. her design is that of a goddess - literal greek column heels creating her own pedestal, glowing otherwordly bright, her hair a star. 

she (white) also embodies “toxic ideals women must aspire to” generally, hence the thigh gap, someone sexualized design and perfect makeup. it’s all about the ideal, who you should be, and thus denying the body anything unseemly. she is stuck because her role is really more about what you Can’t do, what Isn’t appropriate, how emotions are Only for lesser beings, than what you can do, which is existing solely as that identity-less symbol who would never acknowledge her own subjectivity.

i’ve said this explicitly about blue and yellow thus far, but really, from reading you probably realize that there are ways in which pink and white are also hurt by this power structure, and are trapped by the system, even if they enjoy a position of privelege. 

even now, white, yellow and blue are all trapped by the notion of what you “should” do, how they can be useful to others. they are unlearning it, and of course it’s a good thing that they’re helping people, but as we see with steven, there is such a thing as doing that too much - you end up in the same idealized position of self-harm as before. their lack of power is a good start, and i think connecting w/ their own sentimentality through someone as ‘selfish’ as spinel is also a good healer. but they’re still on that 'usefulness’ journey, even now.

[borkthemork]

Color Symbolism - How Steven’s Shirts Portray Different Portions of His Life

A quiet musing from last night had me thinking about this and I knew I had to do a bit more in explaining. But basically, throughout the three main SU mediums — the main SU show, the SU movie, and SU Future — we all know the main color schemes Steven adorns himself regarding his star shirts. We have salmon pink, bright blue, and the heavy black he likes to tow around, but looking into the way these colors were implemented is what we will dive into.

Color themes and symbolism are very potent with Steven Universe. From the use of pinks, yellows, whites, blues, and the menagerie of other colors we could think of, Rebecca Sugar and the crew put a lot of deliberate thought into the design, especially on a thematic level.

For Steven, not only do his shirts represent a very iconic symbol towards the show as a whole, but it represents the main arcs and emotional statuses of our main character throughout the show’s running.

Edit (11/30/19): For sourcing, I’ll be putting the links to stuff I’m referring to in my reblogs. However, my post already got hit off the radar because of Tumblr’s broken algorithm, so if you liked this post then I would be grateful if you could help reblog and spread the word as well!

And with that, let’s begin.

Pink - The Arc of Innocence and Nurture

Pink harbors a lot of connotations regarding femininity in Western culture (and even a good load of masculine connotations in Eastern tradition) but it has a lot more than that under its belt.

It represents tenderness, cultivation, gentle love, nurture, safety, optimism, strength, but most importantly the color itself is seen as non-threatening, calming to one’s eyes, inviting to people.

But with this optimism comes the consequences of lack of awareness or vision. How do you think the concept of rose-colored glasses ever came about? It’s always the idealism or ignorance of the person that allows them to not see red flags or the reality of it all.

And with that, we could start connecting this to Steven Universe.

Throughout the five seasons, this boy always had this priority of being involved with the people and figures in his life as a therapeutic role model. He wants to heal the corrupted gems; he sees empathy and nuance in people’s struggles, and this mindset definitely kept going up to the point of CYM and onwards.

He sees the best in people and wants to encourage them to get onto the path of improvement and healing. There’s definitely innocence at the start, even if his life and the show’s antagonists challenged him to the brink.

However, the lack of vision could be found way back to the start of episode one. Season one was a slow burn of information since the POV showed that his family dynamic was never challenged to him because y’know, it’s his family, they’re gems, and they fight monsters. It portrays his mother as an amazing person to his parental figures, a martyr who loved everything and everyone. There doesn’t seem much for him to challenge at the start because that’s what his reality is, his status quo. He never questioned it. Why would he challenge something that he believes is the norm?

Of course, this illusion of a perfect family does get chipped away. With each episode that showed his family as flawed — with the world around him starting to expand more with information, his understanding towards the severity of the situation and what his status is gets questioned.

Steven will continue to keep his cheerful paradigm, but weariness has implanted a seed into him (among many other emotional issues from upbringing, but we’ll talk about that farther along).

Blue - Stability and Tranquility

The contexts for blue could vary a lot. Very polarizing definitions such as the relation to inebriation, water, and everything in between could dampen the straight-forward process on how to analyze the color associations further; it makes sense for this polarization since the use of it in the ancient and contemporary world isn’t rare, particularly in its application towards clothing, art, and other forms of creation.

But what we’re going to focus on is the sky (or light) blue, the one that Steven tows around before and amid the SU movie. It’s a color that’s mainly associated with the sky, hence the listed qualities found.

”Light (sky) blue: peace, serenity, ethereal, spiritual, infinity (The origin of these meanings is the intangible aspects of the sky.)” -Color Matters

Jill Morton, a color psychologist, also states that the color has a connection to conservatism, passivity, security, and introversion (which are important for later).

For now, let’s talk about Steven and his main goals.

Steven, throughout his two years of intergalactic diplomacy, became focused on bringing about a new form of Homeworld, cited in the game as him deteriorating the former authority doctrine and allowing people to do activities that aren’t limited by their former caste system. And with this, he brings forth the aim of peace and tranquility.

Cue the events of SU the Movie. Now at 16, Steven has been hinted to have never had full-on rest for the past two years he’s been doing his duties to the Era 3 reformed Homeworld. In his announcement, he declares that he wants to finally go back now that everything with the former empire is stable enough for them to function without him.

His main goal now is to relax, have time for himself, and gain his “happily ever after”. And we all know that this attachment to this idea will be played out for much of the storyline, to where it becomes one factor for him in a whole slew of others that prevents him from channeling his gem capabilities.

The catalyst towards him returning is through the concept of change, the ability for him to grow and adapt even throughout the trauma and pressure; Steven, in this movie, however, didn’t realize this because he was already at a state of his life where he just wanted a break from the morphing status quo. He wants a moment to himself, away from the anxiety of responsibilities placed on his shoulders at the age of bloody 14, and overall, just allowing himself to be a kid again.

Yet, even with him helping Spinel and returning life back to the Earth’s poisoned areas, Steven admits to the prospect of never having a happily ever after, and that he’ll “always have more work to do”.

This is where the color of his shirt changes, and with it, the break of Steven’s ideal stability.

Black - Aggression, Power, and Death

But with the expectation of stability for Steven’s life crushed after the events of the movie, I found it very interesting that his blue shirt wasn’t seen or even used anywhere from the stills and trailer shots we’ve seen.

This could be a deliberate usage on Rebecca’s part to discern SU Steven, SU Movie Steven, and SU Future Steven, but I’d like to believe that in-universe, Steven’s wanting to change into black-colored apparel is a mental choice on his part. For black, in color psychology, is a color that protects...and conceals.

“In color psychology this color gives protection from external emotional stress. It creates a barrier between itself and the outside world, providing comfort while protecting its emotions and feelings, and hiding its vulnerabilities, insecurities and lack of self confidence.” -Empoweredbycolor

A great deal of SU content creators have pointed out that Steven, for the entirety of his own life, has been brought up with the idea that emotional vulnerability, no matter how potent or minuscule, can become a weapon or a pain for not only their own being but for the people around them.

I can’t delve too much into it, sadly, but I will link to posts that commentate more on this in my reblogs.

His upbringing has brought him to the paradigm of repression, where his own priorities and needs are swept to the side for other people — even extending to the whole body of Homeworld because of the way he handled his diplomacy. He had to solve other peoples’ problems; he placed himself rock bottom in importance, and now he’s suffering the consequences for it.

Out of all the pieces of symbolism here, black is the most void and mysterious because of its absence of color. It’s used a good amount of the time as a motif of authority, power, and fear, but the ones I’d like to hone in on are death and the concept of being overwhelmed.

Now, we have no clear indication over how the series will go but hear me out. I don’t think a physical death would apply in this situation but more of a metaphysical death — a death of one’s current self.

We find Steven at a crossroads: it will bring his personal imbalance out in the worst ways, and through the fact that the sypnosis foretells of him handling powers uncontrollable by his cognition, then we know that this is a force that’ll bring him into strife over who he is and what he wants.

What does he truly want for his future and how will he come about it?

In Joseph Campbell’s template called The Hero’s Journey, a hero’s death has to come about by a new revelation, a new form of meaning and objective than what they originally intended. The death of one idea will then lead to the true answer, something new the character hasn’t explored but wants to explore since the concept’s been there from the beginning, yet needed a push for it to be unveiled.

”Black is the end, but the end always implies a new beginning. When the light appears, black becomes white, the color of new beginnings.” -Empoweredbycolor

If Steven has been chasing for a happily ever after for most of his life, then a paradigm shift will have to occur.

He must face the brunt of his problems, and in this, he’ll find the answer.

[wolfinshipclothing]

Oh ok, this is happening.

Take a look at that boy. He is so BROKEN.

After the shattering and healing of Jasper, Steven is now dealing with a sense of lost, fear of his own powers AND with a terrible guilt too. Because finally, and despite his efforts to do the opposite, he has actually hurt someone. Sure, he fixed Jasper, but the damage is done.

So of course he goes to the Diamonds, whom he thinks might be able to help him. Turns out they have been doing a lot of helping these days in their own ways, but none of them can help Steven.

“You can be big if you want to, you can be small if you want to, but if you are gonna be upset no matter what, then this problem isn’t physical. Its emotional. Go see Blue.”

Yellow, of course, is right. Steven getting big was never the problem, its the fact that he does so out of control and when he is upset or something triggers his trauma.

“I found happiness. If that’s not something you think YOU deserve, then i suspect this might be an issue of self-worth. I suggest you go to White.”

Blue is closer to the stove. Sure, Steven might find stuff that could make him temporarily happy (Blue’s clouds, hanging with his dad, Connie), but if he don’t adress the biggest issue, he will always feel bad, no matter what.

“Oh Steven. So many would DREAM of having your powers, and it only worries you […] Half a diamond, half a creature of the Earth. In all the Universe, there is no one else who can know what you are going throught. So maybe its time you talk to yourself.”

Wow. Ok, first of all, kudos to White. This is the same gem that a few years ago was convinced she was the biggest thing since white bread (HA!), and that she knew all the answers; but now she is admitting that the only person who can knows what Steven is going through is himself.

Second of all, SHE IS RIGHT. Out of all of the Diamonds, she is the last one i thought would be right, but she is. Steven is unique. And he is getting increasingly alone, putting a wall between himself and the people that love him. So, White suggest he talks to himself.

Big mistake.

The first thing that happens is that Steven sees himself as a Diamond. And he hates it. But is interesting cause, if White can see through other peoples eyes when she is possessing them, then the opposite is also true. Steven can see through both his and White’s eyes.

Case in point, when he lost his temper....

“She cant hurt me, i am controlling her. So, why am i so affraid?”

There. We see Steven, looking at himself through White eyes. Because he is not afraid of White (or not entirely), he is afraid of Himself; afraid of how much Diamond there is inside himself. How much he is like Yellow, Blue, White, and PINK.

Now, lets look at this mess.

Boy, you can’t tell me Steven wasn’t dissociating in here. But i don’t think his intention was to “shatter” White.

Remember, there is no White here. This is Steven, controlling himself, AND White, but something strange happens and he, kind of, splits. There is giant Steven on one hand; he is not Pink Steven, nor Chad Steven, nor Diamond Eyes Steven. He is Steven, period.

And then there is PINK!WHITE.

So, to me, it feels like Steven’s mind is merging/confusing/associating what he feels about White with what he feels about himself, hence the Pink!White.

Which makes me believe that Steven was not trying to hurt White (At least not directly). In fact, the episode never even pretends he tried to. Take a look:

These are Giant!Steven hands. But these are not Real!Steven’s hands, these are White’s hands. Holding the air.

And these are Pink!White hands. Holding the pillar.

You see? White was never in danger cause she was holding nothing. Steven was dissociating, talking with himself in a sort of fever dream scenario. Not only that, he reversed the situation

He used White’s body control powers to move his real body, to force himself to do what he wanted but didn’t dare to.

Destroy his Diamond self, here incarnated in White’s form. He wasn’t trying to assault her; he was trying to hurt himself, the Diamond part of him.

Steven literally forced himself to hit his head against a wall!

BRUTAL.

And when everything is said and done, he runs away, but Spinel stops him. And he thinks “hey, she is better know right? She can help me!”

But no… Because, 1-Spinel doesn't take anything seriously, and 2-THE PERSON THAT HELPED SPINEL WAS STEVEN HIMSELF!

So he runs and grows until he is as big (if not bigger than Pink), and then he warps away to…

Where?

Yeah, thats the question.

WHERE in the universe could Steven Universe go?

You know, i think White nailed it when she said that nobody knew what he was going through but him. All these episodes, all of Steven Universe Future has been about Steven trying to be at peace with himself. To discover who he is.

So far he has tried:

-Getting a long-life career (saving the universe/little homeschool)

-Getting a hobby (gardening)

-Hanging with his friends (Lars, Saddie, Peridot)

-Getting married (Connie)

-And connecting with his family (Greg and his human side/the Diamonds, his gem side).

You know, all the things that people do to fill their lives. Nothing worked. He rejected the idea of being Human (that boat sailed long ago), and the idea of being a Diamond is horrifying to him. He is in a void now, when he is NO ONE.

The ending of the episode was pretty clear in that matter.

The Diamonds calling out for Steven, saying they are his family, mimicking the way Garnet said it at the start of the episode.

But now that Steven has cut ties with all his family and friends, now that he has no-one to support him, no other identity to attach himself to… Where will he go?

And i think thats how Future is gonna be resolved. Steven will have to face both sides of himself.

He is not just human. He is not just a Gem.

He is BOTH. He is Steven Universe.

Once he had made peace with that, he might actually find out WHO that is.

[crystalhopestarabc]

This post is mostly backstory for my au and will explain the gems, rebellion, and why the Mcducks all have gems. It will be decently long so it will all be under the cut.

In the Feathered Gems universe the beings who first created gems didn't create them to destroy worlds, but instead gems were created to connect to the humans on Earth, hence why gems are so humanoid. The first gem created was a Ruby with her gem on her right palm. The way gems were made didn't harm the planet. Gems were only made on Earth. For the next millennia gems and humans saw each other as equals. Gems were elected to be in charge. The gems in charge during the rebellion were a Red Zircon with a forehead gem (President), a Emerald whose gem was on the front of their throat (Council leader), and a Fire Blue Spinel with a diamond shaped gem on their belly, in place of bellybutton (Vice President). This is the flag of the Gem Empire during their reign.

During their reign something remarkable happened. A clear Quartz was just about to burst out of the ground when his gem was struck by lightning. This granted the Quartz the power to control lightning. His new gem name was Lightning Struck Quartz and his gem was on the back of his head. This new ability soon gave the Quartz a big head. He started to believe that he was better than the other gems and humans. He learned how to create gems, but any gems he created where altered to have some form of God-like power. The humans started to worship the God-like gems. Lightning Struck Quartz started to go by Zues. Zues began to rebel against the rest of the gem empire with his newly named God Gems. A war was started between the gems that sided with Zues and the gems that sided with the Gem Empire.

Though the Empire had more gems the Gods had much more powerful gems. The First Ruby was beginning to worry that the Empire would fall to the Gods when a young human came and offered his services to the war. This human was Bubba Mcduck. Soon after Bubba had joined many other humans began to choose a side in the war. Five years after the humans had joined the war First Ruby, Red Zircon, Emerald, and Fire Blue Spinel had realized the damage the war was doing to the planet. They became dead set on ending the war before the year was over. Red Zircon began to create a machine that would turn the God gems and their gem allies into thin air, but she needed a gem to ensure it worked. First Ruby stepped up she said goodbye to her best friend Bubba, but before it could be tested one of the God Gems, a Citrine with immense strength, stole the machine. Zues tinkered with the machine and made it so that it would affect any gem other than the true God Gems, any of his loyal followers that he did not create would be turned into thin air.

First Ruby went with Bubba to try and stop Zues via reasoning while Red Zircon, Emerald, and Fire Blue Spinel tried to see if they could stop the machine remotely. It was to late for when Zues saw First Ruby land on Ithaca he used her connection to all gems, other than the God Gems, to transmit the blast to every gem at once. When First Ruby was blasted she was holding Bubba's hand and as she began to fall to the rays influence she said to Bubba, "Due to your courage and willingness to stand by my side through out the war I promise you that all of you descendants shall be part gems, as a token of the Empire's gratitude." and with her decree she fused with Bubba creating the first in a long line of gem-human hybrids. The rest of the gems soon discovered that they to could decide to become part of humans as well, and once the human dies they will return to the air to choose the next being to host their gem, if they do so wish. The only full Gems left on the planet were the God Gems. So it has been for eons, and through out it all only one lineage has had gems in them no matter what, Clan Mcduck.

[jutsei]

Were your characters inspired by anything? Say another character? A movie? Song? An aesthetic?

You asked too broad a question now you get answers for many of my OCs

My Toyhouse in case you ever get lost

Scarlet Creda - An AU of an old OC I scrapped which was loosely inspired by Flandre Scarlet + A Vampire Friend who stopped liking vampires after Twilight

Adalynn - Was gonna be an AU of Scarlet but I quickly made it an OC, inspired by the Tabletop Game Changeling: The Lost

Noel - Inspired by the One Piece Villain Sugar (Who's touch turns people into toys), even though I still haven't read up to that point yet

Jovani Clover - Inspired by Torrin's Storytellers and general stories + a bit of Twin Peaks/Gravity Falls

Scharlachrot - Repurposed Witch AU of Scarlet (hence why the connections remain)

Farris - Rework was inspired by Alchemy, her buckler/shield was a Homura touch from my friend

Fiadh - Specifically inspired by Lapin from Puella Magi Tart Magica and a desire to fill a plot hole from Scarlet's backstory

Ichika - Majin Buu. 'nuff said

Elmessa - Heavily inspired by Pyronica, took a bit to land on the general dream vibe to her

Ingrid - Was originally made to canonize a The Cat Returns inspired RP i did once, what came out was me wanting to make an Island Native character for representation (It took a while for her to be settled on Hawaiian coded)

King Lawrence - Needed a Cat King, got a Cat King. Inspired by Good King Moggle Mog XIV and The Cat Returns

Lucille - I had an Adventure Time Fan Character (The Ice Princess) who I loved and still love dearly, loved her so much I wanted to canonize her but, woops. Can't have that without being dangerously close to copyright infringement, so I split her into two, with the formerly human ice-y princess aesthetic going to Lucille (while still having some elements of being a tragic villain)

Aria - Same as before, but this is where the rest of the character went, she got the Corruption from a Magical artifact + empowering from it, which also gradually affects her mind and appear until she's a looney, but still good powerful Inheritor

Maxime - Inspired by a Tvtropes line I once read about "The Particularly horrifying idea of a childish Fae" in regards to Changeling the Lost. so I made said childish fae and did make them kinda scary but about as much as you'd expect

Princess Abigail - I wanted to be a Princess so I made myself a princess and also made an Isekai setting for my friends

Rielle - My friend Tart wanted to be a villain in the Isekai setting so I made it so

Sybell - I wanted to deconstruct a trend with transformation pictures where artist made a bland as dish water character who's entire shtick is that they have bad luck and can't avoid getting transformed into all sorts of things. So I made an OC who's entire gimmick is that but because they keep getting transformed, relocated to other worlds, and other various things they're very grumpy and suffer from gender identity issues

Sachi - An old "Girlsona" I had that I enjoyed making, I brought her back for a fun picture, and proceeded to give her an entire escapism angle regarding fiction. It was just inspired by how you can just insert yourself into anything so I just. gave her broad powers over anything fictional

Quixote - Recycled Witch Persona of mine, never got to making the Magical Boy

Susumu - Was originally an exaggerated parody of a friend but it became it's own character, I just really wanted a Bakeneko!

Taika - An OLD character, she was originally inspired by Disgaea Witch classes, but once the rework hit we threw in a lot of Majora's Mask and other things + connections to Maxime. I also was gonna have some "I Hate Fairy Land" inspiration

Huo & Tat - My friend gave me a suggestion for creator gods of the universe so I made it. In thanks I partly based some of Tat off her

Temla - Kind of a long story, but another old recycled AU, this one was mostly done out of spite bc I actually got some hate for the AU, so I just said "OK", made her an OC, gave her a setting + redesign, now she's safe and also very cute

Violet Spinel - Spinel Good.

[ramblingguy54]

How do you feel about the sudden shift in pacing in SUF? Personally, I was so disconcerted at first, I thought that it was /worse/ than the original series, then I rewatched, and realized that it was just really different. It's definitely a lot more blunt in the humor, and of course there's the whole Steven-not-knowing-everything-anymore-thing. What do you think?

The overall pacing of Steven Universe Future has been very enjoyable!

I genuinely find it to be pretty damn good actually, as its focus is crystal clear on where it should be. That being Steven Universe’s inner dilemma of what he’s supposed to do now the whole massive conflict with the Diamonds has been solved. As much as I loved Steven Universe’s story when it focused on the main conflict surrounding the Crystal Gems against their own planet and learning more about each of them, along with Rose’s entire backstory too, it still suffered from some of the Beach City episodes dragging it down in the pacing when it could’ve focused more on the other characters, like further exploring Lapis and Peridot’s chemistry for example. That isn’t to say I hated every single one, as some were actually enjoyable and gave me an appreciation for them in a sense. Sometimes it’s okay to take a breather and have a simple slice of life episode. Fun fact, I didn’t get into watching the OG series, until the movie was released last year, so that gave me more of a tolerance for the Beach City episodes. Makes me very glad that I waited this long because hoo boi some of the hiatus issues I’ve heard about from a close friend of mine, who got into watching this series when it first aired back then, weren’t pretty. LMAO!

Anyways, the idea surrounding Steven’s characterization of not-knowing-everything-anymore-thing, as you’ve put it, isn’t actually as weird, from I’ve heard some people make it out to be for a form of criticism that people on Tumblr have made rebuttals against before. It’s wonderfully consistent with what Steven’s character is all about and that’s trying to figure out his place in the world. This has always been a consistent struggle for himself, like the lyric mentioned in the full version of the series opening from Steven.

“I will fight to be everything that everybody wants me to be when I’m grown!”

Steven’s whole internal conflict surrounds not knowing whether or not he can exactly be like his mother, which puts a shit ton of insecurities on his own self-worth into trying to fit in with the other Crystal Gems because he’s not your average-every-day-kid that you see in society. He’s a special hybrid of human/gem that neither side of the species connected to him has ever seen before and that puts a ton of pressure onto how the boy feels a need to connect with both sides of himself. While he already has a deeply loving relationship with his father, Greg, Steven also wants to better understand that Gem lineage and why his mother was so revered by what he perceives to be these amazing warriors, who fight evil. Never mind putting this onto a kid’s existence, as soon as he or she’s brought into reality, but even an adult would struggle a lot with all this stuff. As the original story progressed, Steven learns all of the hardships the Crystal Gems faced many centuries ago and what his own mother did to protect the Earth in exchange for many issues Steven would have to handle, as soon as Pink Diamond gave up herself to create the child.

Holy shit, did he ever have to handle the baggage from Pink Diamond.

You should’ve shattered me back then. At least if I were in pieces, I wouldn’t have to know how little I mattered to you. You didn’t even tell em. You bubbled me away and didn’t ever tell your friends! MY friends!

I’m going to tell them. I’m gonna tell them everything.

Then you really are better than HER…

Pivotal moments, like in the episode centered around Bismuth, paint everything in an entirely different light for Steve’s ideals based around his mother. At first, Rose Quartz was implied to be an individual who could do no wrong to any living thing, but hindsight from Bismuth’s trauma paints everything in an entirely different light for this poor boy having to take on the entire blunt of this figurative dagger. A question that is represented in the episode, Storm In The Room.

Did you make me, just so you wouldn’t have to deal with all your mistakes!?

Is that all I’m here for…?

I’ve went into more detail about this episode in a previous ask surrounding this topic, so you can check that one out in your free time, but the point I’m making here is Steven has centered a lot of himself around the idea of Rose Quartz being a self-less individual and helped many others through her actions that put this entire series into motion in the first place, but when all of that from this kid’s perspective is thrown out the window through tragic events that also happened in part because of her decisions, Steven starts questioning everything about his life. I’d like think in these moments Steven’s internal dialogue is worded around these types of statements.

“I wanted to be a savior, like her. Although, she did bad things, too! Am I no different from her? Can I truly help people without hurting them in the process?”

That’s why he helped the Crystal Gems in The Test Season 1 episode feel better about their own issues, while hiding how hurt the boy felt about being lied to about the obstacle course being 100% percent un-failable because Steven adopted the selfless image of his mother in this important moment. Steven listened in on a private conversation he had no business hearing from Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl that fueled this idea further of becoming a savior to all living things and put into perspective that these “amazing warriors” were in fact very insecure like himself and needed Steven in their lives, just as much as he did.

That’s why he helped heal Lapis before.

That’s why he helped Peridot open her eyes and come outta her shell.

I could go on and on, but in a nutshell Steven has made life revolve around others so much that feels only natural to help anyone he can, considering that’s what his mother believed in. Even if they’re morally questionable individuals, Steven still tries to see the good in everyone. His angry statements against Lars attitude about Rose put all of that into perspective to contemplate about.

What do you know about my mom!? I didn’t even get to know my mom, but I do know she saw beauty in everything! Even in stuff like this and even in jerks like you!

Steven’s only known what to do because he’s adopted the ideals of his mother so much. Kind of like being brought into existence like your typical Gems, where they’re programmed to feel that way and commit the actions they’re all built for. It’s poetic honestly that he’s helped everyone, but not himself in the long run. These issues were piling on since the start because Steven didn’t have to worry about feeling inferior because he could always help everyone in this series, but now that the events of Steven Universe Future have occurred this puts everything into a more deeply poignant light for the kid entering a more mature phase of his life now and is going to reflect on every little aspect of himself.

There’s no such thing as happily ever after. I’ll always have more work to do.

But if there’s nothing to work out…

Steven Universe Future is a brilliant character study pay off to all those five seasons that were paving the way to this cementing the idea that Steven has issues that are spiraling outta control from putting all of independence into the idea that he has to be a savior like his mother was. Much like how Spinel was so attached to Pink Diamond as a “best friend”, Steven puts so much faith into the mindset that he has must stick his guns and stay that perfect savior everyone knows/loves. It’s unhealthy emotional attachment that is coming to light with these Pink outbursts of his. While he still loves what his mother stood for, despite feeling very conflicted about her in general these days, still strives to be the best parts of her and not the worst, hence the ending of the Rose Buds episode where he puts the painting of her pure persona into Lion’s mane realm.

It’s entirely reversed roles now where the Crystal Gems and mostly everyone are fine, but Steven is far from being emotionally stable currently in recent events. Steven Universe The Movie built the subversive punchline that this epilogue series has been delivering strongly on so far and hope it will continue to do so. I’ve loved how they’ve deconstructed Steven’s characterization.

To end this lengthy post, I’ll refer to these words from Jasper that sums up everything on Steven’s issues. She may have been seriously harsh, but Jasper aint wrong in some ways about Steven feeling very low on himself in general.

You think everyone needs help, but its only you! No one is as pitiful as you!

On a side note, regarding the humor real quick in Future, I can see why you’d think its more blunt. It’s very on the nose with how much it pokes fun at itself, but honestly I don’t have issues with it all. I don’t know about you, but I find it fucking hilarious how they’ve been openly taking potshots at their previous ideas in the story line. I’m always down for a creative team being snarky with themselves!

Thanks for taking the time to read this detailed post of mine! =)

[boneshine]

Pink Diamond Had No Excuse

One thing I’ve noticed from my time after the SU Movie has bothered me, and I feel that I have to point something out.

To people attempting to explain Pink Diamond’s behavior toward Spinel as if it was acceptable.

To people who believe that Spinel was somehow to blame for being abandoned.

To people who think that Pink Diamond is not at fault because she had not yet had her character development or “didn’t know any better” because she herself was the result of an abusive upbringing.

Well?

It was 6,000 years later.

Pink Diamond got her character development.

Did she come back and get her?

Did she tell anyone about her?

Did she ever mention her to anybody besides Pearl, who knew her only by association?

Still, I hear the excuses.

“The warp pad was broken!”

That was never confirmed in the movie, by the way. Warp pads can be activated to direct one to any location as long as the Gem in question is aware of the place and there is an active warp pad on the other side-- hence Spinel could use any warp pad to travel to the garden because she was the only one that knew about it.

If you believe it was broken because Spinel traveled to Earth on a Gem Injector, it was most likely because she could not easily warp something that large and unstable through a warp pad, so she opted to travel on it to Earth itself.

Which begs the question, how did she get the Gem Injector in the first place?

Personally, I believe that it only confirms that the warp pad was in use because there was no Gem Injector in the garden and Spinel only moved and made her way to Earth after Steven’s announcement in the beginning of the movie. I imagine she used the warp pad first to travel to where she knew it was located (an old Pink Diamond resource location possibly, since Yellow or Blue would never destroy or remove anything of Pink’s after her “death”), somehow obtained bio-poison, and traveled toward Earth on the Injector.

Tangent and my own hypothesis aside, even if the warp pad that connected to Pink’s garden had somehow been destroyed and Spinel was left with no way off the garden or for Pink Diamond to reach her after the Gem War, there is one little thing that people fail to remember.

Pink Diamond... had a ship.

Remember? That gigantic pair of flying legs and the meme-worthy backside accompanying it? Remember that? If she had given it any forethought, she could have used the ship to travel to the garden and get Spinel.

But, wait.

“Pink Diamond was Rose Quartz by then! She couldn’t have gone there without being spotted and found out by the others!”

... Are you telling me that you don’t believe that Rose Quartz, the branded “liar” of the Crystal Gems, is capable of keeping secrets and hiding things from other people?

Do you remember Lion?

Do you remember how Pearl, Pink/Rose’s right-hand Gem, who literally is quoted as “never having left her side” was devastated at the idea that Rose managed to keep a secret from her?

Do you remember Bismuth?

Do you remember how long it took before we knew the truth about Pink Diamond herself?

There is truly no excuse for Pink Diamond in many things. Spinel is yet another selfish mistake. At this point, it’s a vicious cycle doomed to repeat itself throughout the series, and most likely into the next season. She made yet another mistake, refused to acknowledge it, and failed to address the consequences of her actions. Once again, it was left to her son to deal with the weight of his mother’s selfishness.

It was not Spinel’s fault for “being too clingy”. Spinel was literally made for Pink Diamond to never leave her side, to be her best friend, to always be there for her.

If you still like Pink Diamond as a character, that’s perfectly fine. I have no authority over who people should and shouldn’t like. I enjoy problematic characters as well. But I acknowledge that they’re flawed, which is something that many Pink Diamond fans seem to forget.

It’s okay to acknowledge that your character has done terrible things.

It’s okay to realize that your character may not be perfect.

It’s okay to know that your character might actually be flawed and, in some cases, have done some rather unforgivable things.

It was not Spinel’s fault. None of it was Spinel’s fault.

Pink Diamond, literally, has no excuse.

[writtenbyrosey]

Why I Think Steven Is Making Himself Into A Monster While Blaming It On His Gem

I’m going to start by talking a lot about Pink Diamond.

Yes, yes. We all know that-

...Right. That she’s gone.

But.. with everything that’s been happening during Steven Universe FEAR, I can’t help but think back to 3 Gems and a Baby, Change Your Mind, and the movie.

Here’s what I think’s goin on...

In Three Gems and a Baby, Garnet Amythest and Pearl each had different theories in regards to who or what Steven was. 

Amythest thought Pink was simply shapeshifting into Steven, Steven merely being a disguise and Pink pretending to be Steven. Garnet thought Steven was a fusion between Greg and Pink, also assuming that Pink was aware and that she was only remaining fused as Steven as to not be rude to Greg.

But Pearl’s theory is what’s been bothering me lately...

We know that in a way, all three of them are correct. 

That in order to even carry a fetus, Pink must have shape-shifted a womb inside her body so that she could properly incubate a child with Greg’s DNA. In order to mimic DNA that could ‘fuse’ with Greg’s, I speculate that she became one with the fetus upon his birth somehow. I’m guessing that once Steven no longer resided in her shapeshifted womb, where a child’s normal umbilical cord would be, that was also a shapeshifted part of herself. She used that cord to connect Steven to her gem, not to provide him with food (although she probably HAD to eat organic food so that Steven’s organic body could grow), but to provide his developing anatomy with her own ‘data’ so that the child would absorb aspects of herself. 

Once Steven was born, the shapeshifted illusion of what allowed Pink to be an individual while he grew would no longer be enough to keep him alive. This explains why she had to give up her physical form. This is where Pearl’s theory takes effect. During his birth, she had to poof so that her gem would always be able to provide Steven with half of what makes him whole. I couldn’t really see properly in ‘Growing Pains’, but I don't think Steven had a heartbeat at all! That would make sense because, without Pink’s gem, he wouldn’t be able to exist in the first place.

So all that being said, I believe Pink’s gem DID hold her consciousness while Steven developed his own. Remember what Pink said in her video to Steven. 

“Steven, we can’t both exist. I’m going to become half of you. And I need you to know that every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you. Because you’re going to be something extraordinary. You’re going to be a human being. Take care of them, Steven.”

(This sentence is important and I'm going to mention it for another point later on: And I need you to know that every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you.”)

If gems are computers, their ‘soul’ would be equivalent to a user’s files where their data would be stored, and the FOLDER that data is stored on would be the physical GEM. When Pink became Rose, nothing was changed in terms of her soul or her files, so it would be the equivalent of just renaming that folder something else. That is what pure shapeshifting would be in this case.

When Steven was conceived, Pink preparedly provided a shapeshifted female human reproductive system, which like the rest of her abilities, was powered by her Gem. When uh.. ermm... pink diamond’s file was edited with a sort of... ‘unrecognized genetic coding’ (I didn’t want to straight-up say Greg’s jizz lol) those files would begin to dramatically alter as Steven developed his own consciousness. So once Steven was born and began to experience life (ie: develop his first memories, learn skills like talking, develop likes and dislikes) every new development in Steven’s brain, every ORGANIC development from his human side began to OVERWRITE Pink diamonds files. It’s like when your computer begins to run out of file space, out of memory, what does it do to make space? 

It deletes old files.

Going off of this logic, by the time Change Your Mind aired, Pink, or to make this simpler we’ll just say Pink’s gem, had existed as half of Steven for 14+ years. I think it would be the equivalent of two users sharing a computer. Whenever Steven was running low on memory, Pink very willingly began to purposely and consciously delete parts of what made her well... her. So that Steven could be anyone he wanted to be.

Her words in that video:  “-Every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you. Because you’re going to be something extraordinary. You’re going to be a human being.”

Now I’m gonna be real with ya’ll. I believe that Pink AT THE BEGINNING wanted Steven for a selfish reason. Put down your pitch forks okay?? I said at the beginning! Originally, YEAH. She DID want an escape. She DID want to avoid taking responsibility for all her mistakes! I believe from when Steven was a newborn until he was like 7 or 8 probably, Pink was FULLY aware, she was FULLY herself and COMPLETELY feeling/seeing everything Steven could. She was literally an AUDIENCE member in Steven’s mind, watching and experiencing THROUGH him what it was like to BE him. Like a demon possessing a person, but not trying to control them in any way. Just.. squatting. Chilling in there and sharing in everything Steven felt or saw without him even realizing. 

ONLY MAYBE did she make her presence known through relevant dreams now and again, when her memories were stirred by what Steven was living.

ANYWAY like I said, I think it started this way. But I believe just like Steven has done for every other damn character in this fantastic show, Pink changed because of her experience being him. And let me ask all of you this. 

Would the OLD SELFISH SPINEL ABANDONING BISMUTH BUBBLING PEARL DUMPING GREG ABANDONING FALSE PROMISE INSTILLING CONDESCENDING PINK WE KNOW, WILLINGLY allow herself to slowly and completely fade away from existence, just to give this weird human gem hybrid experiment she created his own identity? 

No. 

But the Pink that spent almost a decade in the shoes of (thanks to Greg’s intense empathy soaked parenting) the most selfless, kind and innocent child? The Pink that FELT how good Steven felt when he helped others? Would THAT Pink just take away the life she’d given to him, just because if she didn’t she would cease to exist?  

Obviously not. I mean..

GUYS. Can you IMAGINE how HORRIBLE it would be to SLOWLY, memory by fucking memory, erase yourself? Like it’d probably be painful, confusing, just day by day slowly forgetting who you are, who you knew, your friends, your memories, your IDENTITY, your CONTROL! OH MY GOD WHAT WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO PINK THAN CONTROL?? Nothing! That’s all she wanted! That’s all she was after! Control over her own life! Freedom! Being able to change! To GROW! 

And yet.. she gave ALL OF THAT UP so that Steven could be who he is.

And the proof of that is 100% at this moment when White rips Pink’s gem OUT of Steven, and when it forms without him, all that’s left is the SHADOWS, the ECHO of who she used to be once upon a time. Because that gem is like 1% Pink, 99% Steven.

Without Steven, her gem is aimless, purposeless, devoid of ANY emotion or personality. It has ONE GOAL. To become Steven. The only part of Pink that may have been aware from within Pink Steven, that teeny tiny sliver of her data that might have remained. All it wanted was to be Steven. 

THAT would have been an amazing place for the series to end, at least for the sake of Steven’s identity crisis. When he saw his gem half, he was so relieved to not see his mother. Because his whole life he was struggling with NOT BEING HIS MOTHER. He FINALLY FIGURED OUT that HE IS HIS OWWWWNNNNN PERSON! 

YAY! 

...

And then THIS shit happened.

UGH. That rejuvenation... It RUINED EVERYTHING for him.

We know from the movie that it set back all of the gems to factory settings. To their default. It completely wiped their memories!

The movie insinuated that it set Steven back to when he was a kid, and that he regained his abilities when he regained his sense of how he grew and changed from that helpless kid with no powers..

But is that all there is to it? A lot of people bring up the possibility that Pink Diamond was reset from within Steven, that she’s trying to get out from the inside of him, hence everything going on with his body in SUF. The enlarging of his body makes some people think that Pink diamond doesn’t recognize Steven, is somehow completely aware that she is trapped within him, and that she is fighting for freedom etc.

I don't think that’s it at all.

I think the rejuvenator did more than what the movie concluded, but I don’t agree with the pink diamond is corrupting steven from the inside out theories. Not at all.

If Pink Diamond and Steven were still sharing his gem, just like I had speculated before, in his early development, if they were struck with the rejuvenator THEN? Yeah. Then I’d think there was some merit to the “Pink is trying to escape Steven’s fleshy prison” theories. But what happened during Change Your Mind, that completely convinced me that if not 100%, then at least 98-99% of Pink’s data has been overwritten with Steven’s data. Resetting a computer would NOT restore data that has been overwritten. 

Therefore, I think Pink Diamond has absolutely NOTHING to do with Steven’s corruption. He is 100% corrupting because of his own mentality, because of his gem reacting to puberty charged testosterone mixing with the cortisol surging through him due to his untreated PTSD. 

Think about it.

What happens when you take a hormonal teenager and cross it with a shell-shocked war veteran who’s been having an identity crisis since he was ten?

Well. You get Steven. 

I think the rejuvenator erased everything he was able to realize at the end of Change Your Mind. It took away his sense of self. At the end of that episode, after he fused with his gem half, he said “It’s me. I’ve always been... me.”

I find it very suspicious that each gem struggled with memory loss, not only as Steven acknowledged in the movie, that he forgot ‘how much he’d changed’ and that he ‘was capable’. He also forgot AND HAS YET TO REMEMBER that he is himself. He may have inherited his gem from his mother, and with that comes her IMMENSE powers and abilities. But that’s all. Maybe that, and a tiny teeny ghost of a sliver of how much she loves him. 

BUT REMEMBER THAT LINE I SAID I’D BRING BACK FROM HER TAPE??

“every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you.”

“every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you.”

“every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you.”

Hey, guys? Does Steven still love being himself?

Or did he forget the very reason why he once did?

That’s why he’s physically beginning to look like his mother. Because that is who he is blaming for all of his self-hate. Because he looks at his gem and these stress-related painful changes and BLAMES his mother, as if she is somehow currently punishing him, trying to force him to become her.

But it’s ALL in his head.

He hates himself because, thanks to the rejuvenator, he’s forgotten the reason why he loves himself. He hasn’t remembered because he doesn’t realize that’s what his problem is! He was sent back to thinking he still is his mom.

He gets these flashbacks, these moments where his gem is struggling to remember why he is allowed to love being himself, only remembering the pain of his gem being ripped out and the fear it causes prevents him from remembering anything after that. I’d be shocked if he remembered what his gem turned into once he was separated. It’s not like anyone ever mentioned it again? Or brought it up to him. He hasn't been ASKED. 

So because he forgot, he’s just left with this emptiness. With this horrible gaping question of “Who am I?” 

And he tried all the unhealthy ways of coping. #relatable

-Controlling others lives so he could feel a sense of control over himself (Little Homeschool/Guidance)

-Replacing the idea of his mother with something new / forcing himself to be okay with the idea of his mother and faking a normal family context around her (Rosebuds)

-Fixing unfixable problems so he could feel like he doesn’t need to be fixed (Volleyball)

-Justifying his own paranoia by projecting it onto other unrelated situations, only to second guess his originally correct intuition about a malicious individual, and then figure out he was right in the first place. Instead of confirming to himself that he has decent intuition, he doubles down on deciding not to trust the advice of others. Also begins focusing on the constant presence of threats, as if he will never be safe.(Bluebird)

-Burns himself out from throwing himself into activities that keep him busy, even though he doesn't really feel passionate about those activities anymore, because instead of doing little homeschool cuz he enjoys it, all he wants is the resulting approval from others. he does. whatever anyone asks him to resulting in exhaustion and feeling like a failure, all in an attempt to feel like he is needed in order to emulate a form of love he cannot give himself. (very special episode/In Dreams)

-Misinterprets the gems concern and nostalgia cravings because of insecurities in which he feels like the others want him to be someone he's not and becomes resentful for not being respected for ‘who he is’, even though he won't admit that he doesn't actually even know who he is (because he doesn't fucking remember!!) (Snow Day)

-Feels like he’s being personally victimized and abandoned when his friends begin to move on without him to pursue their own dreams and ambitions, and allows that resentment to build while lying and saying he doesn’t blame them for leaving him behind. (Little Graduation/Prickly Pair)

-He focuses on what he can’t relate to when it comes to the human side of life that he feels he's been robbed of. Proceeds to try to solve this and everything mentioned before by running away and becoming someone else (Stevonnie) with no regard for how Connie would feel as an individual (Kinda sounds like what his mom and Greg did - the thing he was super pissed at them for. Ahhh projection and lack of self-awareness in teenagers is staggering) (Bismuth casual / together forever / growing pains / Mr. universe)

-Completely gives into his rage as an outlet, but allows it to overtake him. Having immense power + PTSD induced cortisol + Rage + Puberty charged testosterone = a very dead cheeto puff. Steven does something horrible that he himself said was something “a crystal gem would never do” and as far as we know, is something his own supposedly HORRIBLE mother didn’t even do. So he forces himself to believe he's not only done something a diamond would do, but by seeing the diamonds, he realizes that the diamonds are actually bettering themselves and trying to make up for the crimes they committed, while Steven thinks there's no way he could ever make up for what he did, even if he was able to bring Jasper back. Hits rock bottom. (Fragments / Homeworld Bound)

Shattering a gem betrays who Steven is at his core, and even if he remembers who he is and that he IS his own person, now he has no choice but to believe, at least according to his own morals, that he’s an even worse person than every single individual he had been resenting/judging. 

This isn’t Human Steven VS Gem Steven.

This isn’t Pink Diamond trying to take back her gem.

This is Steven hating himself and making himself suffer. This is Steven never asking for help out of fear that he might somehow destroy the happy ending that he helped everyone else achieve. This is Steven forgetting who he is and failing to realize that he can’t do everything on his own, that he can’t fix everything, and that he can’t make it through life without letting people help him when he needs it.

This is Steven believing that he doesn’t deserve to be happy.

I anxiously anticipate this Friday, and I hope that all the people who love him can save him before he destroys himself. 

This is and will always be one of the best shows I’ve ever seen.

[psychosistr]

FOWL Facets- Chapter 6

Summary: The F.O.W.L. team arrives at their destination and prepare to go rescue their missing member, but a foreboding prediction from Gandra leaves one of them with more worries than when they arrived..

Notes: A short but not-so-sweet chapter to mark the calm before the storm.

-First Chapter-

Domino and Loony enter the ship’s cockpit, taking a look through the windshield. With a single glance it’s easy to tell exactly what their prisoner meant when he said they would “know when they were in the right place”.

They were still out in the middle of the ocean, stopped above an island just big enough for them to land the ship on. Directly next to the island was an enormous and elaborate palace with multiple spires and a huge set of doors facing the island- the entire building made completely out of SEAWATER.

“Talk about flexing..” Gandra mutters under her breath before turning the black captain’s chair to look at Domino. “So, what’s the plan?”

Domino takes a moment to assess the situation, looking down at the small island and the palace. “We’re at a disadvantage if we fight him directly with that much water at his disposal.” He looks down at the bubbled gem in his hand then back up to the liquid palace in front of them. “We’ll have to play along for now. Loony and I will go down for the hostage exchange and look for a chance to grab Steelbeak as soon as we can.” He looks back down to Gandra. “I’ll keep the comm. lines open- if things take a turn for the worse, open fire on the entire building with the destabilization canons and come collect our gems afterwards.”

“Alright, I’ll-” Gandra stops mid-sentence, her eyes turning completely white.

“Oooh, she’s doing the future-thingy!” Loony grins excitedly, leaning and stretching around Domino so she can see Gandra’s face properly.

After a minute, the star-sapphire blinks a few times, her eyes returning to normal as she rubs her head with one hand. “…Sorry.”

“What did you see?” Domino knows that Gandra’s visions can be sporadic, but usually come at the perfect time to be useful in their missions.

“……” Gandra hesitates before turning the captain’s chair around so she’s facing the rest of the room properly. “I’ll show you..but it doesn’t look good.” She extends her hands out in front of herself, the star-mark on her gem glowing white as a pair of black and white headphones appear on her head and a white disk appears below her fingers.

The moment she touches the disk, white lines begin branching out and crisscrossing to form a grid-pattern along the walls, floor, and ceiling. Once the grid has finished forming, Gandra moves her fingers slowly around the disk, making white holograms appear in the middle of the room that begin to enact scenes that skip around- like watching a corrupted video recording that’s missing parts.

The first scene shows Domino and Loony sitting at a table. Loony is looking at something behind Domino with a surprised expression while Domino himself glares at the same spot before turning that same glare to someone on the other side of the table just outside the view of the hologram. Domino’s hands are also notably empty- no longer holding the bubbled melanite like he is currently.

The second scene shows them standing near the same table. This time, however, Steelbeak is with them, but he’s on his knees on the floor with one hand clutched over his gemstone and Loony is crouched down beside him with a worried expression while Domino stares at his partner with a look caught somewhere between shocked and concerned. Domino’s shock quickly turns to anger and he draws both of his guns, pointing them across the table at someone.

The third scene shows Domino seated at the table again, looking at something out of view of the holograms with wide eyes of disbelief as a tear slowly slides down his cheek. Loony is standing beside him, looking at the same thing with a confused frown on her face while Steelbeak, seated on Domino’s other side, looks at both of them with concern clear in his eyes.

The final scene shows Domino and Steelbeak, with Steelbeak sitting in a chair different from the ones at the table before and Domino standing directly in front of him. Domino is clutching something close to his chest with his right hand while his left hand holds one of his pistols- the gun pointed right at Steelbeak. From the angle they’re watching, Steelbeak’s back is to them, but they can all see the look of fury on Domino’s face clear as day. He shouts something they can’t hear at Steelbeak and his gun goes off- the bullet apparently piercing Steelbeak’s gem as in the next second his body disappears and his broken stone falls to the ground. It ends right as Domino sees the shattered gem hit the ground and a look of horror comes over his face, his pistol falling to join the broken shards on the floor.

Gandra stops turning the disk with her fingers. “That’s all I’ve got- the visions stop there.”

Loony frowns while looking at the holograms before turning her head to Gandra. “I don’t like that future- pick a new one!”

Gandra sighs and shakes her head. “We’ve been over this, Loony: I don’t control the future, I just see the most likely outcome.”

Loony folds her arms over her chest and stomps her foot on the floor. “Well, the future you saw is wrong! Dommy would never, ever, EVER shoot Steely!”

“Look, I don’t like it either, but that’s what I saw.” Gandra looks at the holograms. “I don’t know why, but that’s the future we have a 99.9998% chance of arriving at.”

“……” Domino, who’s been looking at the hologram version of himself this whole time, finally speaks up. “Rewind.” Gandra nods and complies with the command, turning the disk backwards with her fingers to make the scene play in reverse right back to the beginning. “Stop.” He tells her when she reaches the point he’s looking for.

The recording stops just a second after the scene’s start and Domino walks around the hologram versions of himself and Steelbeak to get a better view. He can’t see what’s clutched in his hand, no matter what angle he looks from, but he at least gets a better look at Steelbeak’s face when he gets behind himself.

The sight brings a small frown to the loon’s beak: Steelbeak doesn’t look scared over having a gun pointed at him. He doesn’t look anywhere near as angry as Domino himself does in the scene. He just looks..SAD…sad and more than a little sympathetic. An usual combination for the rooster, but one that Domino’s been allowed to see a few times over the years.

Domino raises his hand and does a slow circle with his fingers, signaling Gandra to play it again. She does as she’s asked, moving her fingers slowly over the disk so that the recording plays at a slower speed.

As Domino watches the recording again, this time seeing practically the same thing as his hologram self, he’s able to watch Steelbeak’s face. Reading the other bird’s beak, he makes out the words “Domino, I didn’t know” and, right after he’s shot, he gets out the beginning of Domino’s name just before his body vanishes.

The frown on his face doesn’t lessen at all after re-watching the recording, it only makes his brow furrow in confusion as a stream of unanswerable questions swarm his mind:

Why was he so angry? True, he wasn’t exactly a paragon of self-restraint and had been known to lose his temper from time to time (hence Steelbeak’s appropriate nickname of “short fuse”), but it usually took something big to set him off like that. He hadn’t known that level of blind fury in quite some time.

Why had he drawn his gun on Steelbeak? Sure, they still fought and argued now and then, but he hadn’t pointed his gun at the other gem since their first meeting- and even that had just been as a threat (it wasn’t an empty one, mind you, but he hadn’t fully intended to go through with it at the time). He honestly couldn’t imagine anything that would make him threaten Steelbeak in such an extreme way- especially when the other man was unarmed.

Why did Steelbeak look so sad? Sympathy wasn’t something that came easily to the melanite- he’d been part of F.O.W.L. practically since he’d formed and they taught him early on that things like sympathy and empathy were weaknesses. Over their millennia as partners, Domino had seen Steelbeak’s walls come down significantly as he learned to open himself up more to those he trusted, but one thing remained true: He only bothered sympathizing or empathizing with someone he had a very close connection to- namely Domino, Loony, and maybe one or two other gems (though mostly the former two). That look in his eyes told Domino that, whatever had happened between the two of them, in that moment Steelbeak was likely sympathizing with him- he felt that pain for Domino.

And what did Steelbeak mean by “I didn’t know”? What didn’t he know? What could Domino have been asking (demanding?) of him that he would say that? What information could he be accused of knowing that would cause Domino to act in such a way? Steelbeak was usually on top of things- there wasn’t much he didn’t know when it came to intel- so what did he-?

“It’s not gonna happen!” Loony’s voice pulls him from his negative thoughts. When Domino looks away from the holograms of himself and Steelbeak’s broken stone, he sees that Loony has moved to stand next to him, the spinel looking up at him with determination in her eyes. “This future’s stupid, so it’s not gonna happen! Right, Dommy?”

Domino wants to reassure her, he really does. He wants to tell her with 100% conviction that it won’t happen, but he knows that would be a lie. So, he chooses his words carefully.

“The future isn’t set in stone.” He gives his oldest and closest friend his best attempt at a reassuring smile. “After all, if it was, Gandra wouldn’t be here in the first place, right?”

“You’ve got me there.” Gandra shrugs from her seat, finally letting the holograms and grid-lines disappear along with her headphones and the disk she’d been using to control everything. “I’ve been wrong before. Sometimes knowing the future can change the outcome, and sometimes a single strong emotion is a big enough variable to tip the scales. Like I said, it’s the most likely future, but it’s not the only one.”

That, at least, seems to be enough to cheer Loony up, making her smile once more. “Then we’ve got nothing to worry about! Let’s go save Steely!” She declares while running out of the room towards the exit.

Domino nods in agreement, keeping his smile in place until Loony is out of sight and earshot. “Gandra..” He turns to look at the star-sapphire, his expression conveying the seriousness and gravity of his words. “Make sure Steelbeak knows about this when we bring him back. Don’t let him approach me if I seem…unstable.”

Gandra gives him an understanding nod, her expression mirroring his. “I’ll try, but you know how stubborn he can be.”

The comment makes the corner of Domino’s beak lift in the closest thing to a genuine smile he’s had since entering the room. “Believe me, I know.”

And with that, he walks towards the ship’s exit as well, hoping that they’re right about fate’s flexibility…

<-Previous Chapter Next Chapter->

End Notes: I mentioned before in her character bio that Gandra was able to record her predictions and share them with others, so I figured the best way for her to do that would be in the most sci-fi way possible: HOLOGRAMS.

Also, will I ever write a long story that DOESN’T involve at least some degree of angst directed at characters I adore?

.........

The answer is no, probably not xP