#her first question was literally 'how can you control him' like im fuckin evil or something

[lunarflare64]

Us talking to our councillor about this newly discovered alter: his job is to help us process this negative emotion and protect us, and sometimes he goes too far and either we get hurt or other people get hurt, but he doesn't mean to, and we cant do this without him

Our councillor: so how do you control him? How do you restrain him? Can you get rid of him? Can you make him stop?

Us:........WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

[if-the-crown-fits-translate-it]

Discord pt 103

[Date: 25/03, 12:17 AM GMT - 25/03, 3:41 AM GMT]  

[CW for drug mention, descriptions of violence, torture mention, suffocation mention]

[Page appears in chat and begins a game of “Smile Charades” by telling the server to draw their attention to their Spotify playlist called “The Court?”, which consists of the following songs: “Break My Mind” by Dagames, “I’m the Bad Guy” by Caleb Hyles, “Echo” by Crusher-P, “Break the Rules” by Charlie XCX, “Discord” by The Living Tombstone, “The Fine Print” by The Stupendium, “I Can’t Decide” by Scissor Sisters, “Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing” by Set it Off, “Entropy” by Awkward Marina, “Happy Pills” by Weathers, “The Pitiful Children” by Eric William Morris, and “Monster” by KIRA. The server then proceeds to guess what Page could be trying to imply by this choice of songs. The following conversation ensures:]

jayyyyyyyy: “oh, happy pills is such a good song! kinda makes me sad in a way tho, ykno? its so upbeat but its basically about taking drugs so youre not truly yourself, ykno?”

Page 👑: “....

:)”

Jack the Observer 👁: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “huh, kinda makes me wonder if those plants are the result of drugs? or maybe theyre not, i might be looking at this the wrong way,”

Page 👑: “....”

jayyyyyyyy: “ah, either way its fine! just me wondering out loud, ykno? :]”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “wow, what a unique and interesting message! thank you for the playlist, page, its really eye opening and neat to listen to :]”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “wow, what a fun song about partying and breaking the rules! ,i sure hope, none of ,the court does that!, :]”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “ooo i cant decide is a good one, a classic, especially for those in uh. *looks at writing smudged on wrist* ...the my little pony fandom...”

Page 👑: “....”

jayyyyyyyy: “its so cool! love how the singer has conflicting feelings about their attachment to the one theyre torturing, how they ultimately have to decide whether they want to be good and spare their life, or if they want to continue with the torture”

Page 👑: “:)”

[After a few minutes, the server wonders why Page is being so quiet and only responding in “:)”]

jayyyyyyyy: “nono, its okay, its like a yes or no thing

quiet for no, a smile for yes

is that right, page?”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “pog! alright”

jayyyyyyyy: “okay, so still gotta find what youre picking up from this

are you not a big fan of concerts either?”

Page 👑: “....”

jayyyyyyyy: “oh, you like em?”

Page 👑: “:)

....”

jayyyyyyyy: “okay, you do like concerts! something else too tho”

[After a few minutes of conversation among the server members asking Page whether he liked concerts, or if being with the Court was like being in a concert, or if he wanted to continue the conversation in the direction of the topic of concerts, or if he wanted to talk about other topics, all of which were met with a resounding silence from Page-]

[jayyyyyyyy: “music?”]

Page 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “music! alright

want to narrow the topic some more, page?”

Page 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “so im assuming this is about your playlist?”

Page 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “do you want us to focus on... lyrics?”

Page 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “so like the tone?”

jayyyyyyyy: “well i think we already get the vibe, ykno”

donti (e) (child): “or the feel of all the songs together?”

Page 👑: “:)....”

donti (e) (child): “is there a common thread were supposed to be seeing?

Page 👑: “:)

[After some deliberation, it turned out that the common thread wasn’t about the laurels or drugs, but was about specific songs.]

jayyyyyyyy: “alright! so youre focusing on uhhh

break my mind

im the bad guy

echo

discord 50/50

wolf in sheeps clothing

entropy 50/50

happy pills 50/50

and monster”

Page 👑: “:)”

[jayyyyyyyy: “does "im the bad guy" apply to crown here?”]

Page 👑: “:)....”

jayyyyyyyy: “aight

is crown one of the common demoninators here?”

Page 👑: “:)....”

jayyyyyyyy: “aight

uhhh

im the bad guy is about.. fuck, i half remember half dont

if i remember correctly, the villain is explaining that whatever evils theyve faced before, shes much more powerful than them, and doesnt need their assistance because shes fine on her own

but

im guessing page is more focusing on. Uh”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “oh! okay

okay, i got it

hm.. echo is about.. well, its kinda hard to say

let me look at the lyrics again

actually, this song is a perfect way to sum up the courts situation

"the echo in the mirror"

like.. youre fighting yourself? youre trapped in yourself, fighting yourself to be free”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “pog! alright

so uhh

so far we have uhh

being stuck and fighting yourself is something im seeing rn

and the other one.. i think its better if i dont say it

am i right on the fighting yourself theme tho?”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “someone that's not crown??

"someone else"”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “OKAY

didnt expect that

so who

not crown

themselves?”

Page 👑: “:).....”

Ethza: “hm

eachother?”

donti (e) (child): “are,,, are the people who wear the crowns... pulling at the strings of their body??”

Page 👑: “....”

Ethza: “Hm”

jayyyyyyyy: “okay so

im assuming its crown and the court?”

Ethza: “but its not crown

its someone else”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “hmm”

Ethza: “that was my first guess

so

someone else”

jayyyyyyyy: “okay! okay

and probably obvious but youre being controlled by your court version?”

Ethza: “but something else is controlling you”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “is it your court self?

the laurels?

something else?

feel free to respond to those separately”

jayyyyyyyy: “what, pray tell, the fuck are the laurels”

Page 👑: “:)”

[Ethza: “the laurels?”]

Page 👑: “....”

[Ethza: “something else?”]

Page 👑: “....:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “alright

hmmmm okay so

court selves are controlling the og selves, and crown is manipulating the court”

Ethza: “the court selves....aren't what they seem?”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “i was really hoping that wouldn't be right”

jayyyyyyyy: “well i dont think the court selves are evil”

Ethza: “i don't know if we'd call them good”

jayyyyyyyy: “theyre being manipulated, ykno? and theyre.. kinda stuck in an unwinable situation

well yea but like

either they let their alternate selves be free and they literally suffocate, or they let themselves be free and their alternate selves suffocate

and a while, youd want fresh air, no matter how good of a person you are”

[Ethza: “i don't know if we'd call them good”]

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “alright so theyre not good

obv im still suspicious that a lot of it is bc of circumstances but still evil”

Ethza: “...hey page”

Page 👑: “:)”

Ethza: “are they something we know?”

Page 👑: “....:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “i really cant think of anything else tho

dreamons maybe?”

Page 👑: “:)

:)

:)

:)

:)

:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “uhhh

OH SHIT”

Page 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “OH FUCK

OH FUCK

OH FUCK ITS DREAMONS”

Page 👑: “:)

:)

:)

:)”

donti (e) (child): “is that a smile or a yes ??”

Page 👑: “:)

:)

:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “ITS A YES

OH MY GOD ITS DREAMONS OH FUCK”

donti (e) (child): “UH!!”

jayyyyyyyy: “OKAY

FUCK

okay

ok im. calming down”

Knight 👑: “Fetch likes this song :)” 

[DAYWALKER! by Machine Gun Kelly ft. Corpse] 

Knight 👑: “It should be obvious as to why :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “WAIT NO BUT I HAVE OTHER QUESTIONS

okay page!!

is that "thing" thats more powerful than crown the dreamons?”

Knight 👑: “Page is not in service at this time. Please check the number or try your call again. :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “oh fuck off

GOD

you mother FUCKERS

donti (e) (child): “AH IS PAGE OK”

Knight 👑: “:)”

donti (e) (child): “uhhhhhh buddy you ok”

Knight (he/they): “I see somebody talking with a mouth thats full of teeth i want to break :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “thats dumb as FUCK”

donti (e) (child): “well thats probably me time to scram :D”

jayyyyyyyy: “page did not say a single thing this entire time”

Knight 👑: “Then i'm not talking about him. :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “..neither did max”

Knight 👑: “I'm on borrowed time can't shake it :) blackout when i'm ragin'. :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “yea

again with that fuckin corpse song

hold on

huh

okay so im assuming this is just. 100% knight rn

bc you definitely did something to page

and the song daywalker is ab letting someone in on a secret and blaming them when the secret gets out

actually this song. lines up with uh

that scene”

Knight 👑: “:)”

jayyyyyyyy: “the. ykno, the murder

unless im wrong but

seems. violent”

Knight 👑: “I prayed to god and went to sleep with bloody hands :)”

jayyyyyyyy: “damn! okay

uhhh fuck

okay knight can you like. post all the lyrics youre focusing on rn?? tryna get across???”

Knight 👑: “Punch that motherfucker in the face 

you hated what he said, right? 

beat his ass, leave him at the stoplight

i know you wanted change, but nobody's around

so, kick him again while he's on the ground”

jayyyyyyyy: “thank you!”

Big G (they/them): “Uhh”

jayyyyyyyy: “....oh god i just said thank you im going SOFT

"i know you wanted change but nobodys around" is really catching my eye

"you hated what he said right" hmm”

Knight 👑: “If a pussy wanna say shit, then i'll fuckin' stomp his face in

nah, not getting better, can't change it, i left blood all on the pavement 

i'm on borrowed time, can't shake it, blackout when i'm ragin',

me and all these pills be on a fuckin' first name basis,”

jayyyyyyyy: “im kinda throwing a shot here, but is the "you hated what he said right" part about the dreamons hating what i said?”

Knight 👑: “I never said it was about page :) in fact, i told you i wasn't talking about him :)”

[radioactive-mouse]

MY PERSONAL TAKES ON YOGS TMA ALIGNMENTS BECAUSE THEYRE MY HYPERFIXATIONS AND I SAY SO

Xephos: Eye Aligned / Vast Fear Meal

ok this one’s funky because like, as much as I love him pretty much all of xeph’s worst instincts can be traced back to beholding. he constantly needs to know and understand in order to feel in control, even when that knowledge comes at the cost of his own or someone else’s well-being. he doesn’t know when to stop asking questions, doesn’t know how to walk away, and even in his better moments he gets very fussy and needs to know what’s going on with everyone around him or he might combust. he’d also be a real scrumptious meal for the vast because not only did he, yknow, crash from space which he for sure has trauma from and then proceed to fail three fucking moon landings, he also just hates the concept of his own insignificance, hates the idea that he can’t control some things, and he gets so pressed about it that he does evil fucked up science to cope.

Honeydew: Buried Aligned / ???? Fear Meal

this is really self explanatory to be honest. diggy diggy hole he is digging a hole, also the closest i could think of for what entity would want to eat him is the eye but that doesn’t feel terribly accurate? honeydew is literally just vibing too much for cosmic horrors to get their hands on him

Lalna: Eye Aligned / Stranger Fear Meal

yeah, this one is. yeah. obvious enough. this is just a general rule for most lalnas with a few exceptions. lalna is really interested in obtaining knowledge but not so much using it to actually help anyone around him at least until Nano shows up and makes him stop being a bit of a prick and he like, for sure has some desolation tendencies in there somewhere. stranger-wise the clones kind of speak for themselves, lalna hates the idea that someone else could swap in and replace him at any moment, and really hates the amount of people running around with his face. also quick shout out to lalnable and eternal lalna’s flesh and slaughter alignments on top of all this. 

Rythian: Lonely Aligned / Slaughter Fear Meal

rythian’s real fuckin depressed. like, he for sure has some of his own desolation tendencies as well, but ultimately that stems from the fact that when he doesn’t have other people to keep him grounded he starts flailing for stability and even further back he spent his entire childhood unable to connect with anyone, find anyone that looked like him and that’s Why He Is The Way That He Is. i don’t doubt that both the slaughter and the desolation would get a pretty good snack out of him, because he has tendencies towards both but ultimately he’s scared that the people he cares about are going to get hurt and he wants to keep them safe. 

Zoey: Corruption Aligned / Slaughter Fear Meal

mushrooms! zoey needs to be surrounded by life and other people who care about her to be able to function. she’s also touched a little bit by the web like, in the way that martin seems to be? she doesn’t like it but she did play the red and brown mushrooms off each other, she’s not going to use it to hurt people but zoey is somehow the best and worst liar on the planet. she’s a slaughter/desolation fear meal in the same sense as rythian but like, 100 times more, she’s very set on being nonviolent and just wants to vibe with the people she loves without anyone messing with them. 

Sjin: Web Aligned / Hunt Fear Meal

sjin is a manipulative little bastard sometimes! everyone (including me) seems to forget about that one arc of jaffa factory where sjin’s like,,,, been puppeting a talking head?? to tell sips what to do???? which was fuckin weird but anyway thats most of my reasoning here tbh. in the same vein as that sjin absolutely hates any kind of comeuppance for his actions and is the most avoidant dude on the planet, anyone coming after him specifically scares the shit out of him.

Sips: Buried Aligned / ???? Fear Meal

ok i promise i have more reasoning other than Dirt Man but its via like,, a weirdly specific sips backstory that im not getting into and i cant think of anything that would particularly want to eat him im sorry king i did you dirty

Nano: Corruption Aligned / ???? Fear Meal

nano is TEXTBOOK corruption. she wants love! so bad! she’s literally being corrupted because mother offers her the first familial relationship she’s ever had in her life! she wants to be fully consumed by what loves her!!! i can’t think of any entity specifically that would want to eat her 

Parvis: Slaughter Aligned / Lonely Fear Meal

again parvis is TEXTBOOK slaughter. he doesn’t care where he directs it, but he needs violence to make himself feel powerful, he needs to be in control of something and the best way to do that is to prove you can choose when someone lives or dies. but more than parvis needs to be in control he needs to be feared, he needs someone to see him, and the lonely’s brand of fading into obscurity would fuck him up big time.

Strife: UHHHHHHHHH Aligned / End Fear Meal

okay the thing is. if we’re talking an actual tma AU? i’m of the opinion that strife stays stubbornly unaligned gerry-style no matter how many entities make grabby hands at him. but listen, strife rolls up and the extinction, the desolation, the lonely and the eye all get into a knife fight over who gets custody of this bitch ass business boy. but strife would absolutely fear the end, the one thing no amount of money or power is going to let him outrun is death, dude’s got some real issues with mortality and it shows. 

[bramblepaws]

meat uhh part 3. where dirk Starts Talking A Lot

ughhhh i already don’t like this lol

but i’m going to... try to accept evil dirk into my heart or whatever. just.. what is the purpose of this? to create an unreliable narrator? to make us question even the canon timeline? or to believe that dirk is controlling everything for a certain purpose, rather than the narrative, therefore making the Purpose more ambiguous in both what it’s going to be and its morality? because dirk is a “the ends justify the means” kind of guy, from what i’ve seen, and i Really don’t want this to be. that kind of story. although i guess it already is, what with the ghosts and the kids getting just Absolutely Brutally Obliterated. 

it is interesting to have this happen after i completed the candy route, though the more i read of Meat the more i think i was probably supposed to do Meat first. not-jade’s big exposition on narrative was incredibly interesting, but completely out of context and strange until This. 

but applying that conversation to this narrative shift is interesting. because now my personal biases against Dirk are coming into play. i Don’t trust him to have the other characters’ best interests at heart, whereas I DID trust the original narrator in that sense. Or at least I trusted the original narrator to Try. i expect Dirk is just going to shuffle his pawns around because he’s distanced himself from them so much & trusts his own definition of their best interests, without taking any input from them. 

but the main question i have is..... is Dirk orchestrating this timeline? or is he simply telling it? he is implying a level of control over the narrative that’s all-encompassing (sans roxy, apparently). so... i dunno. i’ll read more. but i’m finding this change annoying rather than intriguing at the moment, Entirely because i don’t trust Dirk to provide satisfying arcs for the other characters. 

anyways

Hell Yea

roxy continues 2 b the most relatable character in homestuck 4 me, even in the epilogues, Nice,

dirk if you’re literally writing this you can go back. and backspace. and replace the words. u focking Idiot. this is in a written format and you KNOW that, Fool

jade’s fuckin CUTE

also Dirk’s perspective on her flitting from couch to couch and person to person because she was alone for so long is interesting. it’s funny, because i would absolutely see her actions as being in-character if i looked at it on paper? like... Character lives by herself on an island for a long time, Character is raised literally by a dog and has 0 human interaction for the first 13 years of her life. Character then goes through a long traumatic experience where she has to fight for her life and sees a lot of people die. Character ends up in a place where all of her friends are concentrated in a single area. Character now has no social etiquette skills, and wants to spend time with EVERYONE, so flits from couch to couch and sleeps around a lot. THAT ALL IS LIKE... VALID? 

but for Some Reason “character then tries to enter a poly relationship with her two best friends who are clearly uncomfortable with the concept” doesn’t fit anywhere in there. and the angle at which it’s been happening doesn’t.. make sense? with jade? it’s too. surface level. there’s no indication that she feels any sort of weirdness about it, or any sort of confusion about what she’s supposed to be doing, which WOULD fit. people don’t just throw themselves into such a huge change without any internal feelings. but there’s no evidence of them! and THAT is why she feels so OOC in this whole thing, in both universes. 

her being blind to social norms would be fine, but she wouldn’t be blind To The Fact that she doesn’t know them. she’d be super hyperaware of that! it’s not like she doesn’t have EMPATHY, she can SEE when other people are exhibiting the same signs of discomfort she would. her not knowing how to react to that would be fair, but she WOULD notice. she’s so smart! and humans are like... hard-wired to At Least Notice. 

anyways long story short: hussie give my girl Emotions. why are half of the women characters coming across as flat in this epilogue. bitch

oh nice i love davekat

I Also Love Kanaya

the fact that dave canonically is A Huge Dork and that multiple characters have made fun of him for it is great

this made me smile i love these kids. er. adults

also im thinkin that my pervasive thought of this read-through is proobabblyy gonna be “shut up dirk” because i’ve thought it at least 5 times already

this is my favorite line in all of homestuck

also 16-year-old-me is trying to rise up out of the inner workings of my brain and take note of alien biology facts that dave is talking about and i keep having to beat her back with a stick. I REFUSE!!

precious....

also i can’t tell if dirk is being.. like. facetious about the timing shit? or if he is actually beholden to the timeline. 

hey kanaya i love you

[tumblunni]

oreshika: you know who is not the bad guy? the bad guy also oreshika: you know who is actually the secret bad guy? this sweet harmless comic relief man who has done nothing wrong

except like its eight glowing brain levels deeper cos the sweet comic relief man is also a giant obviously evil demon mask that ANYONE could have pinned for “really just possessing this dude” since the very start but then his personality was very non bad and he was all ‘hey buddie why u no smile’ to his host and like I LET MY GUARD DOWN OKAY. I LEARNED TO TRUST AGAIN.

i’m at the final battle and I am so pissed off but also HYPED?? like im relaly mad cos like RIGHT FROM HIS FIRST APPEARANCE I was like ‘dear god please don’t make onigashira the real villain, it would be so fucking obvious’ and then i just got progressively more pissed because he literally did nothing evil in the entire damn plot, he’s just evil because Evil he’s some sort of Magical Evil Mask that was Made To Be Evil and like Unquestionably Is That and no sort of interesting exploration on that plot even though he HASNT ACTED EVIL EVER UNTIL THE LITERAL LAST FIVE MINUTES

and it raises SO MANY questions cos like why was he even cooperating with Seimei then?? why didnt he fully posess seimei at any earlier point?? why didnt he kill nueko at any of the five other mandatory boss fights we had with him?? Seimei at least had an intriguing personality that gave an odd justification for his plot laziness. Cos he’s an anti-villain who weirdly sees you all as friends or a mentor/student thing, and he’s really just pretending to be evil so that you’ll kill him, cos he can’t die and desperately wants to. So it makes sense that he doesnt do any of his evil actions until you arrive, cos the whole damn point was just to taunt you into arriving. And its nicely parodied cos he literally sends you tea party invitations to his latest evil plan and gets pissed off if you miss it XD i’m so sad for seimei plz say (mei) that we adopt him afterwards i wanted to adopt onigashira afterwards back when it looked like he was the not evil one of the pair I AM STILL REALLY SALTY THAT HE’S NOT!!!! HIS DESIGN IS REALLY COOL AND CUTE!!!!! AND HE WAS A COMIC RELIEF OLD MAN DEMON DRAGON DOOD!!! i trusted u

okay but to talk about why i am also HYPE i need to go into some endgame spoilers whoopy doop!

so yeah the twist of ‘evilman is actually just being controlled by his puppet dragon thing’ was WAY OBVIOUS and i was really wishing for it to not happen but they made up for it by having ANOTHER TWIST THAT’S WAY BETTER

random description of something else from the endgame that is cool but i dont really know where to fit it into this conversation lol you actually do get to fight Final Boss Seimei here, its a cool boss rush with him and then Super Onigashira Betrayal Mode but what I really like is that its an OPTIONAL boss rush! the first time you play it you fight seimei with his freaky spider legs superform, and then nueko steals it back cos it was hers first. Can i just say again that I love a sexy mom styled heroine who’s powers are entirely around growing friggin monsters out of her arms and stuff? Seriously way to subvert that fanservice bro! (its still a bit cringey when they show the monster tattoos being drawn on her butt and boobs...) so then you go into the second fight and your health has all been healed and now one party member has a new supermove (I was really pissed cos it didnt restore your MP and TP, so I couldnt use that move!) But then if you lose and come back it actually skips the first fight and has an altered cutscene that’s like ‘oh, you’re back for round two?’ and such. MUCH preferrable to stuff like kingdom hearts where i have to watch a damn ten minute cutscene each time! Tho I do wish there was an option to redo it in boss rush mode, I guess that’s just a reward for people who can get it on the first try. I’m prepared now thooooo... :(

OKAY BACK ON TOPIC

Now for this final arc of the story we’ve been investigating the mystery of the Nameless God, some dude in the past who was apparantly super great and then got erased from history. There’s also the mystery of who exactly was Nueko’s husband and what happened to separate her from Seimei and make him turn evil, tho i mean its PRETTY OBVIOUS his dad was this mystery god lol And even though its not really very much of a twist about his identity, its still really interesting how the whole thing is handled. Him being erased from history means that none of the characters can remember his name or face, but NEITHER CAN THE PLAYER! He appears in the interfaces long before the plot actually talks about him, as a silhouette and a name smudged out by ink.

Now the actually cool twist about him is that like.. we’ve been hearing for AGES about how great he was, and how someone must have put out a hit on him or something. And him being in the interface seems like a spoiler that he’s gonna be unlockable later as a godly husband candidate for your protagonists. And even when we see npc optional boss battle gods hating on him, it’s always the jerkass gods who have some sort of reason to be biased. Or (in retrospect) they’re hating him for entirely the wrong reasons based on other people’s flawed gossip about him. “He was too kind and if he made equality then I wouldn’t be rich!” says genericman mc gee, who is probably eighty times less evil than this man

COS THATS THE TWIST

He was an evil fucker and erased himself from history with essentially an alchemy equivelant of a mad science experiment gone wrong. And what happened with Nueko and Seimei was that evilbad mc trashdad tried to use his damn four year old child as raw materials for this experiment, and she tried and failed to save him. And then she was desperate and her only option left was to kill the kid so he couldnt be tortured like that, and then killed herself too from grief. But it all went horribly wrong because she didn’t know that the reason Seimei was a candidate for this experiment is because he had immortality powers as a half human half god. So the poor kid survived watching his mom stab him and then slit her own throat, and he had no clue it was because his dad was gonna kill him anyway, so he grows up hating her and missing her and being this big ol sad mess that’s easily manipulated by a fucko father...

COS THATS ALSO THE TWIST

ONIGASHIRA WAS DADS

WHAT HOW

DADS

And like if they were gonna reveal his entire funny cute sidekick personality to be completely false then I’m glad at least his real personality was Twisty Wow and Immensely Punchable like i still feel like i could never punch a cute puppet pal but i can surely punch an abusive father pretending to be his own son’s imaginary friend for twenty years and whispering bullshit in his ear just to drive him into his own grave and like POOR SEIMEI WANTED TO DIE JUST NOT LIKE THIS NOT LIKE THIIIIIIIISSSS

i still think that ‘hey i was made to be an evil superweapon demon dragon mask thing but i became sentient and decided to be a happy hugs jokeman’ would have been a really amazing character concept too either that or ‘hey it really is a harmless normal mask and i’m just super seriously angsty seimei doing ventriloquism as a hugs jokeman character because i’m lonely as fuck and please be my friend’ either of those would have been better than this but like if this is what we get then I’m at least glad they gave me good enough reason to feel ‘GAHH I WANNA STAB HIM AND SAVE MY NEW SON’ rather than just ‘oh blah this ending ruined my fave character, and i feel nothing towards anything now’

also his boss fight is really damn fuckin coolio wow like it was a HUGE WHOA MOMENT when the fight starts and his name is blanked out and you just instantly know who he was this whole time and your mind explodes that this guy was evil and then he’s like a giant buddha-esque multi armed dude doing sutra poses with a big ol spoopy demon head and then really fun classic gameplay of ‘him summon the many hands and u has to destroy the hands to get 2 him and then they regenerate after a short amount of time’ but he’s also got super hellish simultaneous buff and debuff powers and all sorts of other nasty tricks AND IM ON THE LOWEST DIFFICULTY GEEZ and like for some reason it really stabbed my heart seeing how just one of the many hands is still human, its like seimei’s still in there and maybe he might still be alive if we defeat this guy fast enough... and then the music is SO FUCKING GOOD and it has like three remixes for all his increasingly frantic stages. like he doenst actually have boss transformations for them, its just moveset changes and stat boosts as his health drops. but also the colours of the battlefield change and you get funky remix time so its still cool!

and then I was SO CLOSE, i had him down to 5% HP before he killed me T_T such a marathon boss and I was almost there... I’m really excited to try again tho! i finally got that damn curse off my inherited weapon from the first generation, and now i’m on generation 87, and now im ready to FUCK SOME SHIT UP! also my current party is all named after types of olives because i ran out of inspiration around character number 300 i am so fucking addicted to this grindy ass game!

[survivingthejungle]

today my friend invited me to go to a hypnotist show tomorrow and i thought to myself…….. wow. what a sign that i need to fuckin write this shit

im sorry it took me like 3580582343 months im literally the worst i know

also for the life of me, i can’t do rhymes. so im sorry about not including those. im the worst.

________________________________________________

You reminded him of his darling Alice, and that’s the only reason he had interacted with you in the first place.

He came to this city looking for her in the first place. Finding you was not planned, but it was a welcomed surprise.

You were working part time as a barista at a cafe to scrape up enough money to put yourself through school. You met during one of your shifts.

“Jervis?” you called out. He shut the book he was reading and hurried over to pick up the Earl Grey he had ordered. “I like your name,” you mentioned when he was closer. “It’s different.”

He softly smiled before responding. “Thank you. Mother always thought so too, I suppose that’s why she gave me that name in the first place.”

You glanced at the book he was holding in his hand. “Is that ‘To Kill a Mockingbird?’”

“Yes,” he grinned, “It’s one of my favorites. I think I’ve read it about 5,000 times now.”

“I love that book. Have you ever read ‘Fahrenheit 451?’”

He shook his head. “I’ve heard of it, but I have yet to read it.”

“It’s really great. Tell Adam at Border’s on 7th Street that (y/n) sent you, he’ll give you a discount.“

“You know the workers?” he asked.

“Oh my God, I’m down there all the time. I know like everybody who works there. I have a bad habit of blowing copious amounts of my pay on books. I probably need to chill.”

Just like Alice, he mused. Curious, observant, and ever the bookworm. “Nonsense.”

_________________

He was back the next day, hoping that you would be working again. When you weren’t, he showed up every single day until you finally showed up, a week later. “(y/n), oh my God. This dude has been lurking after you like… all week. He wears suits and shit and creeps you out when he talks, but he’s not really ugly… sound familiar?” asked one of your friends when you showed up that morning before your shift started.

“Girl I know exactly who you’re talking about. That’s… kinda weird. We talked a little bit but… he showed up every day? Oh my God. That makes me slightly uncomfortable. Thanks for telling me though.

And, sure enough, later that day, he showed up again. He looked absolutely elated to see you. ”(y/n)! Dear! It’s so good to see you again! I was beginning to worry, you know.“

You gave a polite smile. “Oh, yeah. I was sick for a few days, but I’m all good now. Can I get you anything?” you asked, subtly hinting that to you, your interactions were first and foremost professional. You were friendly by nature, but that by no means meant you were friends with everybody you talked to.

He ordered some variant of chamomile tea before asking you, “When do you get off work? If it’s alright by you, I’d like to see you outside the setting of this cafe.”

You were thrown off, and, justifiably, a little uncomfortable as well. “Uh… look,” you said, “Don’t take this the wrong way but, I’d rather not. I don’t really ‘meet up’ with people I’ve only met twice. You seem like a nice enough guy but… not right now.”

He seemed to take it well enough. “I absolutely understand. I overstepped my boundaries, my apologies,” he smiled.

“No worries.”

Looks like we have to do this the hard way, he thought to himself.

______________

He was waiting for you outside the back door of the cafe that led out into the alley behind the building. You weren’t expecting anyone to be there, waiting, so when you saw him you screamed, jumped back, and put a hand over your chest, gasping for air. “DUDE! YOU SCARED THE HELL OUT OF ME! WHAT THE FUCK?” you screamed.

“I know you must be surprised to see me, but I must ask you to calm down.” He held up a stopwatch in his hand. “Let me ask you something: do you hear the watch ticking?”

“Yeah, I-”

You were cut off. “Do you hear the way it’s synchronizing with your heartbeat?” You nodded and mumbled a ‘yeah’, the adrenaline slowly subsiding as you drifted farther into a trance. “I need you to look into my eyes. Not above them, not around them, but deep into their center.” He stepped closer to you. “When I count to three, you will be completely lucid and back to normal. But- when I come back for you, you will answer to the name Alice, and you and I will be together for eternity.” He was at the end of the alley when he counted to three and brought you back to normal.

Understandably, you were frightened beyond belief. He had been there, just a few seconds ago, brought out a stop watch, and then- gone. In the blink of an eye.

You needed a drink.

___________________________

You walked into the closest bar possible, sat down, and ordered 3 shots. It was one of those night. You must’ve been showing how troubled you were, because a girl working behind the bar placed her hand over yours as she asked you, “Are you alright? You seem upset. Do you need to talk to someone?” she offered.

You smiled gratefully. “That… would be really great. Thank you. I’m (y/n), nice to meet you.” You held out your hand for her to shake.

“Alice,” she grinned.

“That sounds… vaguely familiar,” you told her. “I’ve heard that name recently but… I can’t remember where…” you trailed off. “Anyways, my story.” And you continued to tell her all about the strange man who was pestering you at your job, how he had snuck up on you after work, and then disappeared into thin air.Alice was shocked, and a little bit terrified.

“Did… Did you catch his name?” she asked you warily, carefully picking up pieces of a broken glass a bar-goer broke on the counter.

“It was weird, it was like… ‘Jervis’ or something like that.”

She gasped and her hand slipped, cutting it on the glass and getting her blood all over the bar. “Oh no,” she said, “No, no, no… did any blood get on you?” she asked hurriedly.

“No, I’m fine, but… are you? Girl, you’re freaking out.”

She pulled out a lighter, poured a bottle of Jack Daniels over the broken and bloody shards, and lit it on fire. “We need to go. Now!” She rushed to The front door, beckoning you after her.

“What the hell?” But you ran after her anyways. Better to act now, and ask questions later. You both rushed down the street or about 6 blocks before turning the corner to what you assumed was her apartment building, and rushing up to her floor. You stopped and leaned over, rapidly hyperventilating and trying to catch your breath. “What. The hell. Just happened.”

“First thing’s first… the blood thing. I should tell you this right now, it’s… poisonous. If a person comes into contact with it, they… they go crazy. It’s terrifying, and it’s dangerous. That’s why I had to destroy the bar.” She looked up at you after bandaging her hand with a strip of gauze she got from her medicine cabinet. “Then, the other thing… That man you were talking about… I know him.”

“How?” you asked, “Who is he?”

“He’s… my brother. You need to understand this, he’s… a terrible, evil person. And now he’s got you…” she trailed off.

“What do you mean?”

“He pulled his watch on you. Whatever he said… He’ll come back for you. He wouldn’t go out of his way to control your mind otherwise. Trust me, I… I know what it’s like for him to be inside your head like that.” You placed your hand over her uninjured one.

“You know you can… talk to me, right? I know I haven’t known you longer than like three hours, but… I know you now. And I consider you a friend. And I look out for my friends.” She gave a weak smile.

“Thank you, it really… it means a lot. My brother, he… he used that trick on me a lot. Back before I ran away from him, he… he used to control me… It was to keep me with him, until… He used that control for other things, too, things… things a brother should never do. Not to his sister, especially.” Your heart broke for her, cried for her. That vile bastard, you thought. How dare he. She recollected herself. “And now… Now he’s got you, too. That is, if he can find you…” she trailed off, an idea beginning to form. You could see the wheels turning.

“What are you planning?” you asked her.

“You can hide with me. He hasn’t found me yet, and I won’t let him find you either. We’re friends, we’ll look out for each other,” she promised you.

___________________

You stayed at her apartment that night, sleeping in an extremely comfortable recliner chair and about three different blankets. Externally, you seemed to be at peace. But in your dreams, it was a different story. He plagued them that night.

“Dear, sweet (y/n), you know you can’t hide from me forever. You know I’ll find you, somehow. We can be happy,” and you swore you felt something brush your cheek just before you jumped out of your own skin and woke up in a cold sweat, adrenaline rushing. You couldn’t sleep for the rest of the night, terrified he’d walk through Alice’s front door the second you closed your eyes.

_____________________________

god DAMN that took me a long fujckin time to write ho my god im a mess. @gothamandchill girl im so sorry this was for u and i know i hardcore strayed from what you asked and i’m super sorry but i hope u still like it. I’m really bad at writing villains as anything other than villainy, hopefully u can forgive me for that and still enjoy this either way!!

@nellychick i just realized this as well, but i think this is more along the lines of what you were asking for

[sol1loqu1st]

hi i want to talk abt foi bc its legit among the coolest things ive done; this is long as Fuck but the book is longer i just really wanna talk,, abt this,,

it’s a high fantasy set on the northernmost side of a huge desert (a sea borders its northern side; beyond the sea is a country filled with plains and forests)

there were seven tribes (i still need to look up definitions and see if thats the most accurate term for what im goin for; im thinking abt just using ‘city’ tbh but yknow) in the desert:

-the riches tribe, whose people could shape gemstones and metals (think metalbending but add precious stones in the mix; each person can only control one thing and ur power is usually decided by the stars or some shit)

-the elements tribe, who could control the forces of wind, fire, water, or stone (now LITERALLY think atla; powers are passed down genetically and a few people can control two elements if their parents controlled different ones)

-the land, sky, and sea tribes, who could control animals related to their tribe (land tribe ppl can also learn to turn into their favored animal, sky tribe ppl grow wings as toddlers, sea tribe ppl can breathe underwater & usually live in the sea on the northern border of the desert bc they dont do well on land; powers are decided based on the animals’ preferences – e.g. if ravens had a specific affinity for a kid in the sky tribe the kid would grow raven wings and be able to communicate with and eventually control ravens)

-the time and space tribes, who destroyed each other 60 years ago, and have the power to speed, slow, or even stop time during the hour of their birth, or manifest physical objects from glowing blue energy that makes up everything in the world (also can see in the dark, i guess?)

60 years ago, a huge war happened between the seven tribes, wiping out the space tribe completely (except for one person; more on that later) and destroying all but 200 of the time tribe, who repopulated to about 1,000, and ruining a Lot of stuff in the other five tribes. for the most part the remaining 5 tribes (minus the time tribe for Reasons) have rebuilt themselves but hints of the past war linger. no one is aware that the time tribe survived (they rebuilt their city FAR from the original location). the time and space tribes faded from public consciousness pretty quickly since all their historical records were destroyed; most of the knowledge about them now is legends and myths

in the present day, 5 children (one from each of the remaining tribes) who lost various loved ones to the same glowing blue knives (created, ofc, by the surviving member of the space tribe, ebon (…courtesy of 2012 me’s genius naming skills, they’re all gonna be like this it’s part of the aesthetic), though the kids dont know that or even recognize it as a space tribe power) are approached by an old man (guess who! its ebon) who claims to be the last surviving member of the space tribe and apparently has evidence that the time tribe is plotting revenge and theyre the ones that killed the kids’ families and he speaks of a supposed prophecy that 5 kids who the time tribe had stolen from are gonna defeat the time tribe once and for all

the kids (and at this point, hopefully the reader too) are the wrong kind of genre savvy, and believe they’ve been approached by gandalf or some shit, and each end up Accepting The Call

(meanwhile back at the time tribe, the king and his rebellious teenage son talk about the future of the time tribe. teenage son, midnight (heyy GUESS what hour hes able to use his powers) learns to use Time Powers that are suspiciously dissimilar to the ones ebon was talking abt the ppl from the time tribe being able to use. midnight uses his powers to get more sleep bc his dad kinda overworks the shit out of him bc like the future of this horrifically unstable and tiny city is in midnight’s hands, basically, and we learn that Its Dangerous bc if u get stuck slowing down/speeding up time after ur 1 hour is up u basically become Time Tobias and ur trapped like that Until You Die)

if uve made it this far i think its time for a proper introduction to the 6 protags of part 1 (another is added in part 2 but we’re not there yet)

-eagle, from the sky tribe, a Massive Fuckin Jock Who Loves To Sport. shes 14 and pretty athletic but tends to chicken out when shit gets tough and so never makes it to the Fly Sport Playoffs. shes a Massive Optimist at first but then she finds her parents dead (hint: it was ebon). she deals with this throughout the novel i hope im writing her well lmao because i wanted it to have a Legit Impact on her character and not just be angst. A N Y W A Y she instantly pegs ash and emerald as The Rich Kids (ash is legit a rich kid, emerald is just from the riches tribe where they traditionally sew gems and shit into their clothes) and judges em for it

-snake, from the land tribe, a 13yo, Lonely Autistic who loves reptiles. (ok i mean. this is high fantasy and im really not sure if autism is a diagnosis in high fantasy. ive done my absolute best to code her as autistic and she is in fact autistic i just dont say it in canon bc idk how to bring it up) ppl dont like her at first because she comes across as cold but actually shes like the most adorable fuckin dork youve ever seen shes great. she doesnt talk hardly at all unless shes Super Comfortable around the people shes with, which is a challenge for me to write but tbqh shes my absolute favorite of the bunch,, also her only friend ever was a thief named lore who was (supposedly) killed by GUESS FUCKEN WHO

-ash, the 14yo daughter of one of the 4 ruling families of the elements tribe. her family’s genetic power is fire but she could never figure it out (later she discovers her power is actually water; im…..still figuring out how that works genetically she might just be adopted lmao) ebon brought her the news of her parents’ deaths and managed to kill her little sister while her back was turned; somehow she does not suspect him. shes kind of a snob and doesnt really /get/ the rest of the group and comes across pretty rude at first. (also, she and eagle deal w their very recent grief very differently but idk her exact Grief Arc yet)

-emerald, who i think is? 12? 13? i cant remember but somewhere around there; shes from the riches tribe, was orphaned as a toddler and raised by supposedly extinct desert dragons (which are basically 12-20ft desert iguanas), which were all wiped out horribly by more of ebon’s shit space weapons. she lived with ash’s family for a while when they were years younger but eventually emerald got blamed for ash’s lack of control over fire and was forced to leave, she found the riches tribe and discovered that she could metalbend emeralds lmao. shes a storyteller and raises money for orphans now i guess

-shark, a scrappy homeless 10yo from the sea tribe who will steal anything shiny enough. he has pointy teeth and an eyepatch (which covers a golden sphere in place of his eye) and hes reckless as fuKC. he was too young to remember his parents but when questioned about it he remembers blue knives (GUESS WHO). hes pretty unaware that sharks are infact chaotic neutral sea predators who do not give a shit about him even if he can communicate with them and he starts the novel with a Pretty Serious Bite Injury™. he takes a lot of shit apart and puts it back together in horrifying ways. yknow sid from toy story? basically thats shark if sid lived underwater and was portrayed as a fundamentally good person

-midnight, the 16yo prince of the time tribe, a Rebellious Teen™ who doesnt want responsibility and has Horrible Insomnia. he thinks his dad is Evil And Controlling and probably listens to heavy metal behind his back (meanwhile his dad is actually pretty decent just busy as Fuck trying to keep the time tribe from accidentally inbreeding collapsing and trying to show midnight how to lead; hes overprotective but not evil). he broke a pattern of various people born at midnight/noon alternating every century and people think hes Destined For Greatness™ or some shit; he is having absolutely none of that will someone let this child sleep instead of waking him up in the middle of the night to practice magic

anyway yea thats p much all ive edited so far and tbqh i dont remember a whole lot of details but That Is My Book!