#one of the reasons i was discovered was literally because we were so pissed at her (and some other things going on)

[lunarflare64]

Us talking to our councillor about this newly discovered alter: his job is to help us process this negative emotion and protect us, and sometimes he goes too far and either we get hurt or other people get hurt, but he doesn't mean to, and we cant do this without him

Our councillor: so how do you control him? How do you restrain him? Can you get rid of him? Can you make him stop?

Us:........WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

[cleolinda]

I’ve read a few of the umpteen thousand upset comments about the paid Watcher service, and I’ve read comments angry about the upset comments. There’s one thing I want to point out, and it’s that this isn’t, or shouldn’t be, “You’re saying people don’t deserve to earn money for their work.”

The Watcher guys do deserve to earn money. I already give them money. I give them $5 a month on Patreon, not because I think they do or don’t give me $5 worth of media, but because I want to support them. I canceled Netflix for pissing me off with its price hike/ad tier, but I give Watcher Entertainment money.

They’re saying now that the Patreon will be solely about the podcasts, and they understand if people leave. I’m perfectly happy to switch the support I can afford to the streaming service. With the early adopter 30% discount, I’d actually save money. In fact, I tried to subscribe, but the site didn’t work.

Watcher wanting to profit from their shows isn’t the problem. It’s that they’re now discovering that their fanbase is young and broke in a terrible economy, judging by tens of thousands of comments on multiple platforms. I can throw them $5/month, so I do. But the Patreon only has (checks notes) 5874 paying followers, and there’s a reason for that. $60/year upfront would not be “accessible.” Patreon is literally patronage from the people who can afford it.

If the guys had said up front, “ONLY new shows and episodes will be exclusive to the service,” I think we’d be having a different conversation right now. But at first they did say, “We’re pulling all our content from YouTube,” to the point where Variety had to issue an update. Like, that’s in print and I’m pretty sure it was on video. Now they’ve backtracked to ONLY new etc.—but most people haven’t heard, and they feel crushed. And the trust is probably gone regardless.

So now four years of back catalogue will stay public. And now, you’re paying $6.99 a month for one episode, maybe two, of something a week, and now, not an exclusive back catalogue. I would pay for Watcher shows before I’d pay for anyone else, but I just don’t think the company is big enough yet for a SVOD at that price. They’re not Dropout size. They needed to build more programming and get a higher follower count first, or at the very least, charge less.

The international price/exchange rate situation is a nightmare and I don’t know what it is they’re not doing to make it… not… be like that.

I don’t know what they should have done instead of a full streaming service, but surely there were alternatives? I’ve seen comments from people suggesting they GET a Patreon. Lean on that more! Do the shows exclusive for a month and then let them roll onto YouTube! I don’t know! Anything but One More Fucking Streaming Service, which enraged me, and I was willing to move my support to it!

And I shouldn’t say this, but I will. In the “Goodbye YouTube” video the guys posted, they say that setting up the streaming service has allowed Steven to do a remake of Worth It where he and his cohosts travel the world and eat expensive food. This is the first new show they announce. Not “We have always been committed to diversity and we’re now able to bring on new creator(s) to expand our programming.” No, a redo of an old show that by definition has got to be expensive. Commenters are saying they can’t pay for the streaming service because they can’t make ends meet in this economy. The optics are terrible. I genuinely question what the thought process even was here.

I love the guys and I still watch their shows. I want to see Watcher succeed. I started watching Buzzfeed Unsolved in 2018 while recovering from surgery—as with a lot of people, their shows got me through a tough time. I’m as attached as anyone. If I can continue to afford monthly support—this is not a certainty—I’ll give it to them. I’m not a ~hater who doesn’t want Watcher to make money. But I am absolutely BAFFLED by every single decision here. I want them to figure out how to turn this around and go in a better direction, because right now, this ain’t it.

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

My best friend has romantic feelings for me and it's literally the worst. I feel like I've lost them as a friend because now they just see me as something that they're supposed to have to themselves. It is weird and uncomfortable. I don't know what to do.

[answered by noah]

I had the exact same thing happen to me when I was 15, one of my close friends had a crush on me, my oblivious aromantic adhd ass didn't realise and thought we were engaging in "friendly banter" and "platonic activities" when in reality they were flirting with me (albeit very badly).

I had known and was out as asexual at that point for a few months, but had recently discovered (after a talk with a wise aroace friend) that I was also aro. I had of course told all of my friends at school that day, running around to everyone I knew happily wearing my new label with pride.

But little did I know at the time (I didn't find this out until like 8-9 months later) but wise aroace friend was talking to this friend, cause it turns out they were planning to CONFESS.

Of course aroace friend said "no wtf they just came out as aromantic don't confess your love to them" but only got a "don't crush (friend)'s dreams" from their (they being the person confessing) best friend.

When they did tell me it got really awkward and I was like "Uh I'm aroace" and they went "I know" and looked at me expectantly. After that moment I never looked at them the same way.

It still really pisses me off to this day, safe to say I don't talk to them at all. But that's only because they're also kind of a horrible person who's very hypocritical and overall a massive bully.

If you feel as though you can't be friends with them as the friendship will never go back to how it was, then that's okay! Don't feel like you need to latch onto a friendship, sometimes you just need to stop being friends with someone. Even if the reason for stopping isn't because you don't like them anymore.

But if they're making you uncomfortable by having a crush on you then maybe distance yourself from them, tell them you need to have a break in your friendship. See how they take it, they might be happy to wait, or they might get angry.

Try to talk to them, tell them it makes you uncomfortable and if that means you have to stop being friends then so be it.

[crazyk-imagine]

Old Age and Fated Bonds

Pairing: Felix Volturi X Hybrid!reader

Characters: Hybrid!reader, Alice Cullen, Bella Swan, Edward Cullen, Demetri Volturi, Aro Volturi, Marcus Volturi, Caius Colturi, Jane Volturi

Warnings: Reader protecting themselves, fancast Felix is here to slay, Edward being a big dummy, reader butting head with the dumbass, reader teasing her mate, Felix teasing reader, the feeding scene, the feeding scene makes me feral, this became oddly sexual, these vampires know how to seduce someone, Felix gives baby sub vibes, Felix and reader are a power couple, I feel like I made the reader a little bipolar but-

Word Count: 2,496

A/N: I wrote the feeding scene before work, lost it and then had to back track before leaving. I was so pissed but it's good. It's exactly what I wrote but a smidge different

The Volturi forget reader is a hybrid even after Reneesme is born then they're like oh wait it can be true, we have proof

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Felix, take your dearest to your room. We still have some unfinished business to attend to with the Cullens and Miss Swan."

He moves from beside you, placing a hand on your back to guide you out of the throne room.

"Where are you taking me?"

"Are you scared?"

"That doesn't answer my question."

"You haven't answered mine."

You purse your lips, rethinking whether he was hot or if you're so lonely you're desperate for contact. You don't glance up at him to know he's smirking.

"We're going to my room where you'll stay until I'm finished."

You scoff, "I'm not a dog."

"No, you are not."

"Thank you."

"Dogs know when to listen."

Your jaw drops, gaze falling onto the door as it clicks shut. You roll your head, listening to the cracking of your neck; wondering what you should do to get back at him for his comment.

You sit, thinking back to the moment that led you to your current predicament.

-

You made sure not to be too far from Alice, knowing she’d be more helpful to you than Bella or Edward.

You keep the block up in your mind, so he doesn't hear how much of an idiot he is.

The guards lead you to the infamous throne room.

You inwardly hum, taking note of every nook, crack, everything really.

It's such a gorgeous room, shame it's used for more torturing people for whatever they see fit.

You knew the Volturi had money (they've been around for so long, naturally they were bound to be rich). But seeing it, completely different than what the Cullens told you.

You glance back at the three and rush towards them, not needing to get lost or discovered. Someone would have a fit if that ever happened.

-

You're not paying attention to what the odd king is saying, not until a body being slammed down draws your attention to the people in front of you.

You step closer to the vampire with a pixie cut, watching as the tall and lean, attractive vampire practically throws Edward into the ground.

The corners of your lips twitch, not entirely empathetic towards him.

He made his bed, almost literally, and now he must lie in it.

You take the time to lean forward, wanting only her to hear you. "You didn't tell me they would be hot."

Edward groans, for more than one reason.

"Who said that?" Caius leans forward.

Aro claps with excitement in his eyes.

"Oh, crap."

"Demetri," Aro calls for him.

The vampire doesn't know what to do when he can't sense you.

He calls for the guard again, smile widening at his struggle to find you. "Magnifica!" He claps his hands.

Alice stands still, shaking her head.

You realize why she told you to stay quiet.

"Show yourself dear. I'd like it if you could show me who holds a power such as yours."

You don't move, clutching onto her coverup.

Aro notices and gestures for Jane to use her powers; they don't work because she can't see you.

Caius is irritated and demands you show yourself.

"Before you turned, weren't you ever scared? What do you expect me to do? Roll over and do as you say."

"That is no way to talk to your kings."

Edward huffs, "would you stop delaying this and show yourself already."

They can't see you to see your sarcastic and menacing smirk, although the tallest guard can sense a change in your attitude.

"Excuse me for one second." You stand before him, opening your mind slightly so he knows where to look. "I am so tired of your shit Edward, and you've pissed me off enough today." You hit him in his stomach.

He removes himself from Bella (who screams for someone to help him); as he bends forward, holding it; you grab him by his neck.

You had yet to realize as you fight him, you're not using your power and begin showing yourself.

You lean close to his ear, "better hold on. Wouldn't want you to fall before I'm through with you." You lift him off the ground, his feet dangling (shocking everyone watching) and slam him into the ground.

Kneeling beside him, applying pressure to your grip, watching as the crack appears. "Next time, don't piss me off." You push yourself off the ground, brushing away the imaginary dirt.

You slowly lift your head, realizing they can see you. A shy smile breaks onto your lips, followed by a nervous chuckle, "hey."

Aro claps his hands like crazy, walking towards you with a bounce in his step.

An unmuted scent floods Felix's nose as he stares at you, somehow finding his way beside you.

You notice the way the silent king is gesturing for his brother. "I think your friend wants to chit chat."

He turns and reaches for his hand. "What a pleasant surprise and all thanks to the Cullens and Miss Swan."

You furrow your brows, turning around towards Alice. "Alice?"

She hums.

"I would remove yourself from my sight before I do the same to you as I did your brother."

Her eyes widen, this was not how today was supposed to end. "What? I-"

"Do as I say, they already have someone waiting at the door to escort you. I don't appreciate being lied to and I will not tolerate it. If you don't want your major to end up in a fight, I'd leave."

The three walk away.

You huff, crossing your arms before smirking. "I know you want to hurt me, blondie."

Her glare hardens.

You spin around and chuckle before finding the king’s eyes on you. "I feel like I'm missing something."

"A pleasant discovery has been made today. You are Felix's mate. How wonderful."

You stare at the weird king. "This is not where I saw today going."

He giggles, "I know, dear, but now you get to enjoy your new life within the walls of this castle."

"Is that supposed to persuade me?"

He merely smiles.

-

Some time passes and he's back.

"You haven't moved?"

"I have nowhere to go. No plans, no friends."

He removes his cape, carefully hanging it up.

"Aren't you going to be punished for not wearing a piece of your ensemble?" You chuckle.

He finds himself smirking, it was a good joke (or is he just saying that because of the bond, he doesn't care because you're all he cares about). "Funny."

"I know I am."

"Do you-" he struggles to find the words, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about?"

"You know what I'm referring to."

You roll your eyes and chuckle to yourself.

He takes your chin between his thumb and index finger, turning your head to look at him. "I will not allow bratty behavior to come from you."

Your eyes widen.

The corner of his lip curves upward, "still think I'm hot?"

"You know I'm not afraid to fight you."

"I know, watching you take down the Cullen was," he leans in, nuzzling his nose underneath your jawline, placing a tender kiss there. "The highlight of finding my mate."

You melt under his touch before realizing the words he said. You push him back. "I'm sorry. What?"

"You're my mate."

"I heard that."

"It didn't sound like it."

"I," you push yourself out of the seat, walking past him; not noticing him drooling over you as you do.

His eyes never left you as you pace and unintentionally use your powers. He settles himself in the chair. "Where'd you go?"

"I'm still here," you tell him, standing beside him. "It's just- it's a lot to take in, you know."

He nods, "I understand."

"How are you so calm?"

"One of us has to."

You purse your lips.

He reaches for you, pulling you into his lap to calm you. "I know it's going to take a lot before we have a proper bond of trust built but believe me when I say, I'm with you. You are not alone."

You snuggle deeper into his embrace, eyes closing as today’s events took a lot of your energy.

He settles you into his perfectly made bed, watching over you for a few minutes before exiting the room, grabbing his cloak on the way out.

-

You wake, finding no one around.

It saddens you a bit, but you know that he is a busy man and just because he's found you doesn't mean his schedule is going to change entirely.

The burning in your throat returns, how long has it been since you fed? Apparently too long.

You exit the room and search for something, anything to satisfy yourself.

You know a feeding tour is going to happen tonight, they mentioned it earlier.

-

You wander through one too many halls and the faint scent of humans’ wafts through your nose. You follow and find a group being led into the room; you can only assume is the waiting room.

You manage to sneak in using your powers, giving you the advantage of pretending to be one of the tourists and the opportunity to pull one of the humans with you, sinking your fangs into their neck.

The others finish, but you continue, always being one to take your time making it more special (in case it was ever your last time or before you met the Cullens).

Demetri rapidly taps on his friend's shoulder.

Felix groans, tossing the person he fed on aside. "What?"

"Look."

He turns in the direction of where his friend was pointing and finds a peculiar sight. "I think your mate is more than what the kings realized."

He steps away, ignoring the babbling as he makes his way towards you.

You open your eyes, giving whoever is petting your hair a fierce look.

How dare they interrupt your feeding until your eyes focus and you find your mate in front of you, his body blocking yours.

He removes his hand from your hair, reaching for the human's wrist, slowly sinking his fangs into their skin.

As you two finish, he tosses them aside, reaching for your chin.

He pulls you closer like he did earlier, his cold breath fanning against your warm and bloodied lips, sticking his tongue out, licking the last remains away; only he can leave marks on his beloved. "You have some explaining to do."

You nod as if hypnotized before yawning. "After a nap, I can explain everything to you."

He nods and lifts you up into his arms, letting you settle in before he starts exiting the room; ignoring the teasing looks he knows Demetri is throwing his way.

He debates on setting you in his bed or sitting in the chair and letting you rest on him directly. He pulls the covers over you and listens to your soft and calm breathing.

-

You wake to a dark room but know he's still nearby, turning to find your suspicions to be true.

He stays still, keeping his gaze on the book.

"It's upside down."

He tries to read a page and flips it over, finding it to be true. "No wonder I couldn't read it." He furrows his brows, "how'd you know?"

"I sold that book to an annoying man back in my younger days."

"How old are you?"

You lay on your back, staring at the ceiling. "You know, it's never wise to ask a woman her age."

"I can handle you, I'm not afraid to ask." You sped out of the bed, using your powers to gain the upper hand and yank him out of the chair, straddling his lap. Your hand on his neck keeps him hooked to the ground.

He stares up at you amazed by every way you move and think. His hands find their way towards your hips, grounding you to him as if you could sink further into his grasp.

"I'm old, honey."

"Yet you've never looked younger," he smiles up at you.

You roll your eyes and push yourself off him, "you're just desperate for my touch," you tell him with a teasing tone.

He watches you walk around the room before taking your place on the bed.

You cross one leg over the other and slightly lean back, letting your neck rest on your shoulder. "Do you plan on telling them or should I?"

He's quiet, not ready to share you with anyone else (you assume).

"We can wait till tomorrow."

He nods, preferring that option.

"If your friend can keep his mouth shut."

Felix rubs his face with annoyance.

"If he does blab, you should at least know... I'm a rare breed as they say."

"What does that mean?"

"I can survive on human food or blood. My father was a vampire while my mother was human."

"And... then you arrived?"

You nod. "Apparently, my father was, as some say, a man whore and fell for my innocent, virgin mother then their miracle baby arrived but when she died, so did he."

"Why?"

"They were mates, the purest of bond for mates."

"But you were left alone?"

"A doctor found me," a fond smile breaks out onto your face, "and helped the any way he could before he got sick."

"How'd you get involved with the Cullens?"

"I may have," you shrug. "Had to get them out of town before our kind was discovered."

He nods.

"How do you feel?"

"About?"

"This whole mate thing. It was thrown upon you; you didn't really have a choice in this."

"I'm surprisingly, fine."

"Fine? Just fine? I'm kind of freaking out here again and- hey!" You tilt your head to stare into his eyes. "You licked me."

"That was hours ago."

"I- shut up."

He smirks.

-

You don't know when you fell asleep but find yourself waking just before sunrise. You push yourself up and look around the room, searching for the large man (you get to call yours).

"Looking for something?"

You tilt your head and offer a sleepy smile.

"No."

Felix raises a brow, clearly not believing a word out of your mouth. "I informed the kings of what you told me."

"And what they say?"

"Master Aro was pleased. Master Marcus was happy to inform me of our bond and it will become stronger with time."

"The blond one?"

"Master Caius is... it's hard to tell what he's feeling."

You open your mouth to call his name but find yourself drawing a blank. "What was your name again?"

"You don't know my name?"

"The weird one only said it once, what am I supposed to remember every name I hear? I'm a hybrid, not working at a place where I have to remember everyone's names."

He can't help but chuckle, surprised that you two didn't at least share this simple piece of information. "Felix. My name is Felix."

You smile and tell him yours in return. 

[whxre-bxby]

hear me out... CNC with mansk, lyle or quaritch??? or all three??? hcs plz??? take this as payment 🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕🍕

-🍔mm chezburger

Thank you for the idea and the pizza <3

Forced Miles Quaritch Smut

x recom Y/N

WARNINGS: This is a forced CNC scenario, Smut, Angst, bad language, I’ll do HC (hurt/comfort) to not make it super brutal lmao

This is not for everyone! Don’t read it if you are sure you don’t like this. 

Word count: 4799

This is my fanfiction and my fantasy and it’s kinda fucked up but I’m into it.

Click here for Masterlist

Authors Note: I was going to do Mansk/Quaritch/Lyle again but for this scenario, it definitely doesn’t fit all the characters. 

I’m leaving Lyle out of this one because this is not like him at all. He would never do this because he is a softie, no matter how angry or worked up he is. 

I hesitated with Mansk because he would never dare to do this to a human or recom y/n. However, he has beef with real Na’vi. If he’s having a bad day or a mission went really sideways, he would probably have no mercy on Y/N if she’s Na’vi too. Literally would take out his anger on her. (giving racist white American vibes so he would despise Na’vi in certain scenarios) (100% degrading Y/N)

Quaritch might do this to human or Na’vi Y/N if they are really pissing him off or he’s in a really really bad mood. Recom him is morally better off than human him, but his character still stays. 

For example, after Spider rejected his offer to come with him and Quaritch left on his Ikran, he would be fuming for the next few days. If he were to come across a real female Na’vi, the man will take out all his anger on Y/N with no hesitation. 

Human or recom Y/N would have to be purposefully messing up his missions or doing everything he hates, then the man would lose it. 

(In general, I don’t think any of their characters would actually ever do this, this is just fanfiction displaying an extreme situation) 

Finee I’ll add fluff to the end

The missions we’ve been on have been going to shit lately. I saw that it was agitating the Colonel. Nothing was going as planned. Each time we went out there we were attacked and outnumbered; someone always ended up injured or almost killed. 

That didn’t stop me from showing my disagreement and dissatisfaction. He was the Colonel for a reason after all, wasn’t he? He’s responsible for these missions and for his soldiers. I don’t understand how he can be failing his job so badly. 

Seeing the state of my other fellow soldiers just fueled my anger. Lyle had an injured shoulder and couldn’t move his arm. Ja had his leg wrapped in bandages. The team was suffering and basically useless in this state, yet he kept sending us out there. 

I noticed he would start catching my glares and I could see that he hated them. 

He hated that it wasn’t working out for him but he hated that you weren’t staying loyal to him. As a marine, you should listen to him because he was your superior. Picking up on your bad attitude had him enraged. The fact that he felt some type of sexual attraction to you since he laid eyes on your recom self made him more hateful. He resented you because of the way you behaved to him now. Before, he thought of you as his top soldier. 

Perhaps you had forgotten your place and were in need of a reminder. 

Every time now, when he would give orders you would doubt them or mumble some rude comment. Once you even snapped at him when he called you out for your behaviour. 

Miles was suffering himself. He was unable to take care of his everyday increasing arousal. This was discovered when he realised masturbation didn’t do it for the Na’vi body. So he tried to suppress it, thinking it would go away but it just started building up and was now on the verge of collapsing down on him. He felt that he couldn’t go on like this much longer. 

First, he lost Spider. That had him upset. Then, his mission started going sideways. But on top of all that, the main thing having him this riled up, was you. 

Little did he know, I was dealing with my own problems. The more team members were injured, the more work I was assigned to do. At the base and during a mission, I would have to cover more ground than usual to keep things running and it was overwhelming. 

On top of that, my body had started acting up and like Quaritch’s, I quickly found out that trying to solve the problem alone did not help. In fact, it probably made my needs worse. 

Another thing neither Quaritch nor Y/N directly knew, was that their scents grew stronger. Luckily, Y/N was not required to work with that many other recom’s because they were mostly injured, but she had to see the Colonel on a daily basis. And every time she entered the room, her scent filled his sense and worsened his critical state. The same thing happened to her, but the female scent had more power than the male musk. 

Miles’ tail would hint at his feelings, flicking around excitedly without him noticing. He was too entranced by you. But you just understood his body language as him being irritated again. What you didn’t see was the way his pupils would dilate when he smelled you. It awakened something primal in him and he couldn’t be around you for too long otherwise he might lose control over himself. 

Seeing him in all his sculpted glory made things more difficult for you too, but you could still think clearly. 

It was late in the evening. The clock just passed 10 pm and I had tended to Lyle. He had his weird little requests like wanting to eat something specific but he couldn’t get it with his injury or he would insist on working out so I had to assist him while lifting weights.

I was walking to my room which was down the hall and to the right. Opposite me, on the other end of the hall, Quaritch appeared and was heading to his own room that I had just passed. I refused to acknowledge his existence, keeping my head down and fiddling with my bracelet. 

Quaritch spotted me the second I spotted him and he cursed himself for bumping into you now. He had just isolated himself in a room for the past hour to get his senses under control. Once he had calmed down, he left to go get some sleep, but apparently, the universe wouldn’t let him because he had to walk past you. And he was in a critical state, which he managed to hide with his confident walk and long strides. 

He wondered whether you would greet him and watched you intently as he neared. 

Once he reached you and you both walked past each other, your scent hit him again. It was so sweet to him now, even more so than before and it made his body tense. The fact that you were wearing only a sports bra and shorts from your workout with Lyle didn’t help him at all.  You did in fact not greet him and he had enough of your bratty behaviour. 

I made sure to avoid eye contact and was about to let out a small sigh of relief after passing him but suddenly I felt something tug me back by my braid. 

I gasped, wanting to scream when a hand wrapped itself around my hair but another hand was firmly clasped over my mouth. My body was pulled back against what I assumed was Quaritch’s chest and he held me in a firm lock while I struggled against him. With my eyes blown wide, I gripped his arm, trying to release myself from him. Eventually, my wriggling calmed down and he walked back to which I could only stumble with him. 

The light of the hallway faded out as I realised I was being dragged into a room. It also just happened to be Miles’ room. I could tell by the coat on the doorknob and the smell. 

He turned me away from the door and I heard him lock it behind him before he released me. I stumbled forward and gasped for air, turning around and facing him. The light was off and we could only see each other through the specs of light on our skin. I never properly saw his patterns before. They always showed one’s strong facial features. 

He stood still and I noticed that he seemed taller than ever. I gulped, immediately feeling intimidated and trapped by him. I was too tired to argue with him or fight him. 

My fear reached the same level of presence as my arousal and I wrapped my tail around my leg for comfort while I hugged my waist with my arms, taking a step back from him. I heard him growl and then he leaned down and turned on a desk lamp, which lit most of the room up. 

His eyes met mine before they started to shamelessly roam my body. I turned away, trying to hide myself with my arms. 

I didn’t think I would meet anyone on my way to my room. 

Miles seemed to hate how I hid from him and with a few swift steps, he was around me again. 

His hand wrapped around my neck, making me look up at him. I gasped again, my ears straining back, showing my fear and anger. 

“You’re gonna pay for your attitude.” he snarled, his own ears tilting back showing his emotions. My heart was racing and I felt his pulse on his palm as well. He was just as aroused as me and it made me hate and resent him more. Him thinking he could solve this through whatever this was made me angry and I scratched his arm. 

Miles pulled away, seeming taken aback by my reaction and I hissed at him, trying to desperately create some distance between us. 

This riles him up to his limit. His hand grasps my wrist, pulling me back to him so quickly I don’t have time to move it out of the way. He turns me around, pinning both my arms behind my back before pushing me onto the bed. I fall face-first into the mattress and he scoops me up and arranges my position so that I’m not hanging off the edge anymore. 

I cry out and struggle but he just scoffs. 

“No one’s gonna hear ya, sweetheart, it's just you and me.” 

“You asshole.” I swear at him, trying to kick him off. 

“Watch it, or else I really won’t hold back.” he warns me, harshly squeezing my wrists to emphasize his point. 

“Your mine to deal with.“ he snarls close to my ear before his hand is running down my back, feeling my hot skin. He stops at my shorts and when I feel his fingers linger at the waistband and tug at it I protest. 

He wasn’t allowed to find out I was in heat. That would be the end of me. 

But I was helpless and could only wait for time to pass while I felt his hands almost rip my shorts down my legs. 

Quaritch audibly groaned seeing me in my very revealing underwear and delivered a stinging slap to my ass. I yelped out in pain and when the second one came, I buried my face into the sheets to try and cope with it. 

He then pulled my panties off and I heard him sigh. 

“Fuck- look at you. So ready for me.”  he mumbles, his hostile tone slipping up. 

My cheeks heat up and I feel how not only the rest of my clothes are stripped from me, but my pride with them. I let out a muffled sob which Quaritch instantly picks up on. 

But he couldn’t care less right now. Seeing the state you were in and feeling the need in his body flood his senses, he could only act on his instincts. 

“It’s not… for you.” I manage to say, struggling to breathe properly. 

He cocks an eyebrow and my snarky remark and I hear a breathy chuckle. 

“Really?” he asks, sarcastically. “This here, isn’t f’ere me?” His hands trace down the skin of my inner thighs and rubs over it with his thumb, nearing my heat. Immediately, goosebumps erupt on my skin and I shiver in anticipation. Next, another slap is delivered to my ass which has a red mark on it. 

“Quit lyin’. You’re mine.” Quaritch snarls.

His hand grips my jaw, forcing it open and stuffing it with my panties. I comply, knowing I can’t fight him and he taps my cheek in praise before focusing on what he was doing before.

My hips were pulled off the bed while my upper body stayed pressed into the mattress by his firm grip, holding my arms behind my back and pushing me down. I tried maintaining stability so that I wouldn’t fall over and spread my knees apart a little. What a mistake that was. 

My scent was stronger than ever now and my bare pussy was on full display. His free hand rested on my ass, while he just stared. My tail was throwing a tantrum of its own, flicking around and showing my impatience, so he didn’t even have to move it out of the way. 

His hand then drifted down slowly and I tensed up when I felt his fingertips run through my folds. I bit my lip and clenched my eyes closed, trying to resist the feeling of pleasure. 

Quaritch noticed me tense up and grinned. 

“Bitch in heat.” he chuckles. “Looks like I’m not the only one suffering.”  

Suddenly I feel him push a finger all the way into me and my eyes shoot open and I whine out, involuntarily arching my back. 

No matter how hard I try to suppress my desires, Quaritch knows how badly I need him. He’s seen my state and it reflects his, except that he has control over this situation. 

“No need to hide it, baby,” he growls, moving down to whisper it seductively in my ear. “your body’s betraying you.” 

And with that, he starts to move his finger in and out of me before adding a second. 

I bite my lip to the point where my fangs are threatening to penetrate my skin. He was right, I knew he was. I also knew I couldn’t hide it any longer or keep up my streak of fighting and arguing with him. So I gave in. 

My hips pressed up against his fingers and the second that happened, his ears perked up and his eyes shot to my face. He saw my flushed cheeks, glossy half-lidded eyes and needy expression and that was all the confirmation of submission he needed. 

“That’s it, be good f’ere me.” 

I let out a small sob because the heat in my groin was becoming unbearable and while his fingers felt so fucking good, they made me crave more and thereby made my desires go through the roof. 

Miles was also becoming more desperate for any type of relief. His dick was straining his pants and he was painfully hard because he hasn’t been tending to his needs in the slightest for weeks. 

Quaritch removed his fingers from my dripping pussy, licking them clean in two strokes of his tongue and humming at the taste. It made him feral and he was sure that if anyone were to walk in on you, he would be unfazed because he was so lust-driven and you were lust-drunk. He would also definitely fight anyone who would try and take you away from him. The Colonel needed to claim you as his. No matter whether it influenced your relationship as colleagues, at this moment in time, neither of you could think straight. All professionalism was long gone.

He continued to hold your wrists behind your back while one of his hands was hastily trying to open his belt and free his aching cock from its restraints. 

The shuffling made me keep still and listen, my ears no longer pulled back. My tail slowed its movements and eventually stilled in anticipation. 

Miles groaned once he had finally managed to push his pants down but it didn’t stop there. His skin felt as hot as yours and all his clothes suddenly felt like an obstacle in his way to claim you. They seemed to restrict his movements so everything had to go. 

He let my wrists go for a split second, swiftly pulling his tank top over his head after discarding his cammies. 

His hands are back on my body in an instant and my wrists are released. I look up at him but then I feel him tug my sports bra over my head. 

I sigh at the feeling and he bites down on his lip, letting his hands roam over every bit of exposed skin, making me moan lightly. The noise makes his ears twitch and he focuses on our needs once again. My arms are pulled back behind my back once again and the mattress dips as Quaritch positions himself behind me.

Quaritch notices one of his fingers twitching from how needy he feels and it surprises him because this is unlike his character. Then again, his body also happens to be unlike him. 

He adjusts his weight evenly on both knees behind you and places his free hand on your hip while the other isn’t giving you any indication of letting your wrists go. 

Suddenly, my hips are pulled back and my ass is gently pressed against the Colonel’s lower abdomen. I can feel his throbbing dick against my skin and I gasp while he just lets his ears relax a little and sighs. Finally, you both can solve your torturing feelings. 

He grinds himself against your hot, wet skin and groans. 

Feeling him rubbing up against me makes my eyes flutter closed again. 

Suddenly, his hand lets go of my hip and I feel my braid get picked up from my shoulder. I try to turn my head and follow his movements but he pulls it behind me, so I can only rely on my other senses to figure out what he was doing. I had a feeling I knew what was about to happen. But if he would bond us, it would be permanent and that didn’t seem like such a good idea if I still have to work with him in the future. I struggle again, whimpering out protests and warning ‘no’s’ but Miles wasn’t listening. His full attention was focused on our queues. He pushed my back down and pinned my hips down with his body weight, before his other hand reach for his own queue. He brought it forward and pinched the base of mine which made my eyes go wide. He watched the tsaheylu for a few seconds before pinching his own queue. Eyes wide, he brought them together and watched how the strands reached out for one another, before binding and becoming one. The bond shot through both our bodies, reaching every nerve at every spot on the body. Suddenly, I felt all of Miles and I knew he felt all of me. It was something completely humanly indescribable. It just felt right to Miles. He took a few deep breaths to steady himself and relish in the new feeling.

Without further ado, he pulls away and thrusts his hips forward. He didn’t even line himself up with my pussy, this man was so hard it just worked straight away. He didn’t manage to push all the way in the first time though. 

I moan, arching my back into him again and he closes his eyes. It hurt a little, but I tried to ignore it. 

“Fuck- so tight.” Miles groans, his hands gripping onto me to keep him grounded in reality. He picked up on my tension and pain, but nothing was going to stop him now. He felt it too, but his body's needs were stronger. 

His hips retreated before thrusting forward once more, eliciting a slight squelching sound from the swift movement. I whine, feeling how much he is stretching me. I’d never felt anything like this and I needed a few minutes to get used to it. 

A few minutes were way too long for Quaritch. The man was flooded with pure primal instincts and no common sense anymore. As I said, Quaritch was lust-driven. His ears were strained back, his body muscles flexed, his tail either flicking around or stretched, and his fangs slightly bared. Occasional growls were heard from him that I haven’t heard before but they made him that much more attractive. 

He started to find a steady pace and kept on forcing himself deeper into me. My ears were tipped back too, my tail caressing his torso. 

The pain was starting to fade and both of us could sense that. Which is why Quaritch let his thrusts get rougher and soon his hips were relentlessly drilling his cock deep into me. I felt him in my lower stomach but I couldn’t look or feel for it. He held me in place, not letting me move a limb. 

“Goddamn, sweet’eart…” he mumbled, losing himself inside you. “Ya feel so fuckin’ good.” 

I cry out when his tip hits what I think is my cervix and realise he is balls deep inside me. 

Suddenly, he stops and pulls out. Within seconds I’m laying on my back and he pulls my legs apart, blocking them from closing with his hips. Then before I can think a single thought, he’s back deep inside me. I throw my head back and grab the sheets next to me with one hand while the other holds onto my braid which is flung over my shoulder. 

“Oh my god-” I mutter out, unable to keep still. 

Quaritch leans down closer to me, resting his elbows and forearms on either side of my shoulders. His rutting against me doesn’t falter for even a second. 

He reaches out and wraps his right hand around my throat again. I look up at him through half-lidded fucked out eyes and he swears under his breath. 

Just seeing you look at him like that could make him spill himself into you already now. But he wanted to feel this pleasure for as long as possible with you. 

Our breaths mix and our eyes lock. 

“You goin’ to quit being a brat now?” he asks, his cocky side still very much present. 

“Miles- I’m so close…” I whine, having to close my eyes and break eye contact. His hand releases my neck and he slaps my face. Not harshly, but just enough to get my attention and have tears stinging in the corners of my eyes. He raises his eyebrow and I realise my mistake.

“Sorry, sir.” I breathily answer but he doesn’t react. 

“Answer.” Quaritch demands. I frantically nod. 

“Yes, sir. I’ll stop.” I reply in a more desperate tone than I would have wished. He seems to like that, a grin forming on his face but his teeth are still clenched together and his jaw is tensed. 

“Good girl.” he coos, rubbing his hand over the cheek he slapped before returning it to my throat. The praise and pet name have me clenching around him and he curses again. 

“Fuckin’ hell. You like that, huh? Little slut.” he snarls, still grinning and I moan. Everything was becoming too much. 

“Please-  I’m gonna-” I say, unable to form words because of how harshly his hips were slapping mine and how deeply he was drilling into me. Yet somehow, it felt amazingly good. 

“Only if you scream my name, baby.” he grins, leaning down to my ear to say that. “Let everyone know who’s fuckin’ ya this good.” 

I moan again just from his words. “You- so good.” I mumble in bliss. 

He squeezes my neck, unsatisfied with my noise level. 

“You, Colonel Miles fucking- nghh, Quaritch!” I scream, throwing my head back and he chuckles. 

“Who’s fuckin’ pussy is this?” he asks, clearly demanding an answer and I just spill the first words that come to mind. 

“Yours, sir!” I cry out and he grins even more. 

“You’re goddamn right.” He says, somehow managing to pick up his pace again. I arch my back off the bed, my hands holding onto his shoulders and my legs wrapping around his waist, pulling him even further into me. 

This turns Quaritch on to the point he knows, he can’t hold it much longer. 

He takes one look at my teary eyes and he can feel how close I am. 

“Please, sir I’m so close…” I mumble. “Can I cum?” 

Quaritch is not just pleased but almost proud that you asked. To him it meant you learned your lesson and he trained you properly. How could he say no?

“Whenever you’re ready, baby.” he mumbled, lowering his head and resting it in the crook of your neck, while his hips continued to rock you back and forth. 

With his permission, you finally came undone, repeatedly crying out his name which he loved. All the pressure you have felt for the past week or two was finally being resolved and you felt your orgasm rip through you, making your entire body quiver and shake. 

You squeezed around Quaritch and he cursed under his breath again before thrusting into you one last time as deeply and hardly as he could. He stilled his hips and his muscles flexed once again as he released himself deep inside you, stuffing your pussy full of his cum. His fangs slightly bit down on the skin of your neck as he felt his own wave of pleasure hit and drown him for a few great seconds. 

I had come down from my high and cradled his head with one hand, while he regained his breath. Our chests were heaving and the room was quieter now. I traced down his neck, fumbling around with his dog tag. I felt him smile against my skin before he lifted himself off of me and just stared down at me. 

I wondered whether he felt regret because he wasn’t showing any emotions right now. Maybe the reality of the situation just hit him now and he could be disgusted that he was in a bed with me. But then his gaze softened, in a way I’ve never seen. I didn’t feel like I had the Colonel infront of me, but just Miles if that makes sense. He didn’t seem as intimidating all of a sudden and I just watched him wide eyed. 

He pulled out and I closed my legs, still unsure of how he felt. He seemed to be trying to read my own emotions which made me feel very observed and I tried retreating in myself, hugging my body with my arms, trying to perhaps cover anything even though he’s seen it. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N…” he whispers, seeming almost sad. 

Miles was disappointed in himself. He knew he had crossed a line and he wasn’t sure whether you even wanted that. You were his soldier after all and his responsibility. It wasn’t fair that he would ever even put you in a position like that, but he did. And he felt guilty, seeing how beautifully you looked up at him, even after all he had done. As if you were awaiting further instructions. 

What he hated was that he took advantage of your loyalty and obedience. 

My ears perk up at his words and I tilt my head to the side. It genuinely took me a few good long seconds to figure out what he meant. He saw my confusion. 

“I shouldn’t have done that.” he says and I feel my heart drop. 

“Oh…” I whisper, looking down at myself. He did regret it. 

Now Miles had his head tilted, wondering why I reacted like that. Then, it made sense to him. 

“No, Y/N I mean I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that.” he says and I look up at him again, my tail hugging my knees. 

“But I feel better now.” I say, trying to help him understand that he did infact help me with my body crisis. His ears perk forwards. 

“Do you regret it…?” I ask him. He thinks about his answer. 

“Only if I hurt you.” 

“You didn’t…” 

“Then I don’t.” 

I smile up at him and his posture relaxes a little in relief. 

“I wanted it as much as you did.” I force myself to say, putting my already gone pride to the side. My cheeks form a blush again and he takes it to heart. 

He nods, smiling to himself and we both just sit on the bed, staring at each other. 

“Would you like me to leave?” Quaritch asks, ready to give you space even if he preferred not to. He wanted you to feel safe, even if it wasn’t with him around. Then again, he asked because he would feel just as bad if he were to leave you alone after using you to his liking. 

Even though it was his room, he felt as though he had intruded in your space. 

“Can you stay?” I ask him, knotting my fingers together and letting my tail swish down on the mattress. His eyes light up and he smiles. 

Quaritch then leans over and turns the light off but his room still isn’t fully dark. He lays down next to me, pulling his blanket over us, tucking me in a bit before covering himself. I smile at his actions. 

This was a new side to him and I liked it a lot. 

The bond we formed was permanent and it had created a new sense of closeness between us. I felt safer with him now. Our queue’s had already disconnected but his energy was much more present to me now. We both knew we were connected together in some way for the rest of our lives now. It was deeper and more meaningful than our jobs, so we ignored that side and just focused on each other. He pulled my body against his and rested his arm on my waist, cradling me to him. 

Before falling asleep, Quaritch placed a soft kiss on my cheek and I wanted to throw myself on him and cuddle. Luckily, my self-control was back, so instead, I hugged his arm and we fell asleep.

[bigskydreaming]

The Vampire Daniel Molloy, when Louis asks what he's looking forward to most about the next stage of his newly immortal life:

Hmm. With how much my maker already complains about me ruining his life and how every day I give him a new reason to regret ever siring me, if I had to pick just one thing, I'd say the thing I'm most looking forward to is when I hit vampire puberty.

Louis: ....

Daniel: Vampire puberty's when the really wild superpowers kick in, right?

Louis: I suppose technically that's not....inaccurate.

Daniel: Hey, what are the chances of me getting the 'set shit on fire with my brain' thing you've got? Can you even imagine how much that would piss him off? His disappointment of a fledgling having the same gifts as the ex who dumped his ass....oh, man. C'mon now. I bet I could do some real damage with that.

Louis: Actually, while we're near the subject: would you please stop introducing yourself as 'the reason your vampire parents got divorced?'

Daniel: No, Louis, Louis! You're not getting it, see....the thing that makes it funny is its true.

Louis: You've really decided to lean into the whole 'second childhood' angle, huh.

Daniel: Mmmm. And just think. If you'd turned me fifty years ago when I first asked, I'd be well past this stage by now. And also still twenty. And hot.

Louis: Ahh. Its like that, then, is it.

Daniel: Oh, only a little bit. Really though, its like, every day I discover a new way to make Armand rue my very existence all over again, and maybe I'm just a simple man with simple needs, because that's just....very fun for me. I mean, there's just something extra validating in knowing the guy you're all "fuck that guy, I hate him, he sucks" about hates you waaaay more than you can be bothered to hate him. Because then its like you win the feud, right? You still get to hate that guy, which is great, because fuck that guy, he sucks, but you also get to know your very existence drives him way crazier than his ever makes you, and I mean, let's be real. Who doesn't like winning things?

Louis: Well I'm so glad you've found something that gives you a sense of purpose at least. Its very -

Daniel: Yeah, yeah, immortal blood drinkers need hobbies other than mass murder, it keeps the body count low and is good for the environment. Relax. I know. I literally wrote the book on it. You were there.

Louis: That's what you got out of it?

Daniel: Why, did you want me to fixate on your sex scenes instead? That seems weird. A little narcissistic even. And at the risk of self-awareness, when I'm the one -

Louis: Right. Well. I just wanted to make sure you had something to focus your energies on. It can all be a bit overwhelming at first and with your level of public attention at the moment, its very crit -

Daniel: Nope, all good here. Got myself a steady supply of Deadbeat Dad jokes that make my maker's eye twitch - apparently base word play is "gauche" or some shit - ugh, my god, its like nothing I do is ever good enough for him, and I only ate one of the editors on my shitlist to test drive my shiny new murder skills. He had this thing about Oxford commas, used to bug the crap out of me. Its like we get it, you hate them. They're literally dots on a page, they can't hurt you, can we please move on....

Louis: ....

Daniel: Louis, I'm kidding. Look, you don't have to worry about me. I already decided I find emotional evisceration way more satisfying than the physical version. Less clean up and it lasts longer anyway. I'm not going to get myself into trouble by cosplaying as Jack the Ripper where paparazzi can catch me red-fanged, and even if I do, I hereby absolve you of all responsibility. You can stop mother-henning me, you didn't turn me, you literally said no when I begged you to, its the whole reason I have eternal wrinkles instead of youthful tautness.

Louis: Not gonna let that one go, are you.

Daniel: Gimme a few centuries and ask me again. I'll let you know then.

Louis: Mmhmm. So this was....memorable and we definitely won't be doing it again. But you do seem to have things figured out so I'll leave you to it, then.

Daniel: Wait, Louis, don't go! Don't you want to hear my five-century life plan for annoying Armand into an early retirement mausoleum? I made visual aids!

Louis: Goodbye, Daniel.

Daniel: Fine, leave then! I don't care! You're not my real dad anyway! Et cetera, et cetera!

[juneisafantasyaddict]

The writers of the SaB show seem to be pulling the exact same shit that lb did in the books. because there’s no way they think ignoring everything the grisha have been forced to endure, pretending that the darkling is the beginning and end of their issues and ravka’s, making sure alina never understands what she’s actually fighting for, etc is going to do anything except make me root for the darkling even more.

The entire second season gives me flashbacks to that insane trilogy because somehow they managed to be even worse than the books. they have alina telling the darkling that he doesn’t understand sacrifice?? really??? a man who has spent centuries of his life fighting for the betterment of his people doesn’t understand sacrifice?? the person who literally made protecting grisha his life goal doesn’t understand sacrifice??? does alina realize that the only reason she wasn’t killed the moment she was discovered was because of him?? because of the work he has done??

They had time for baghra to tell stories about her crazy family and how she killed her sister, but there was no time for her to say “this is what life was like before my son decided he was going to make it better for our kind?” if anything, they just pissed me off more because how the fuck is it possible that they are pretending the biggest issue they have is the darkling?? not the monarchy that has exploited grisha and ravka, not the fjerdans who hunt and kill grisha, not shu han who experiments on them??

Sigh, I can’t even write out my thoughts coherently because I’m so irritated by pretty much everything that happened this season. I’m irritated that instead of telling a complex story, we got this dumbed down garbage that tells us nothing, accomplishes nothing beyond “guy in black is bad.” the narrative condemns him for using merzost because he was so desperate to save his people, he tried forbidden magic, but 20 seconds later the hero is using that same forbidden power to bring her boyfriend back to life??? With zero repercussions?? I want to scream!!

If the narrative is so sure they are right, if they are so sure the darkling is wrong about everything, then why are they so afraid to expose the hero to the suffering of her people?? Let her see what they have to deal with, let her truly understand then. She has been a grisha for less than a year, and somehow she knows what’s best for them?? She doesn’t even know them. The show writers literally spent this season making her chase Mal around. Look what happened when they were going after the seawhip, two people died because she didn’t want to kill it, but they moment it went after Mal, suddenly killing it was ok. Her side of the war got attacked and instead of checking to make sure everyone was ok, including her friend’s brother who was literally about to lose his arm, she was screaming about Mal. You want to tell me about sacrifice?? She only cared about one person, and he was perfectly fine at the end. What does she know about sacrifice?? Why oh why is this fucking story just so determined to make her make all the worst possible decisions??

Incase you haven’t noticed, I haven’t talked about the crows at all, because I hate their presence in this story. They are a distraction!!! The grisha are fighting for their right to exist, Ravka is in the middle of a civil war, I do not have the time to follow the shenanigans of a group of criminals from a different country. I still don’t understand their purpose in this story, except comic relief?? 🤦🏽‍♀️

I love Alina, I really do, but jfc you cannot girl boss your way out of real solutions. They have her basically serving the monarchy and the whole time I kept thinking, if I were grisha, I wouldn’t follow her. She’s the leader of the second army but she’s wearing a first army uniform, she’s more interested in protecting the Lanstov throne than she is in protecting her people. She’s so blinded by everyone saying “the darkling is bad, the fold needs to go” she’s not stopping to say “what happens when the fold is gone?” “What happens after the war?” Because surely, she isn’t naive enough to think the people who started killing grisha as soon as they thought the darkling was gone are going to live peacefully with them now?? It took 2 seconds after the darkling died for Fjerda to send an assassin on jurda parem into ravka. Now that there’s no fold to stop them, what will stop Fjerda or Shu Han from sending an army?? Ignoring everything else the crows did, Kaz was right when he said “when they stop looking at her with gratitude, they’ll start to wonder if she hasn’t overstayed her welcome.” Which is basically what Aleksander kept saying btw, they are not going to love you for long, they are going to hate you eventually because they are afraid of what they don’t understand.

I don’t even know what the point of this was, but yeah, I guess it was a rant about how Fucking ridiculous season 2 of shadow and bone was.

[arlathvhenan]

What's your take on Flemeth *in DAO*? Inquisition was my first DA game, and I was shocked to discover the "you were never in danger from me" lady actually treated Morrigan very poorly. Most of my wardens agree to fight Flemeth if Morrigan tells them of her childhood. But I have a feeling Solas would be pissed as hell knowing Mythal had to (temporarily) die again.

I think Flemeth is a deeply complex woman who was victimized long ago and that cocktail of rage and pain that’s been stewing inside her for centuries has warped her immeasurably and irrevocably. She’s the victim who went on to become the abuser.

I also know that bitch isn’t really dead, because we’ve been through this one with Flemeth before and the woman is always 50 steps ahead.

I also don’t think what happened between her and Solas was unplanned. The two clearly have essentially the same goals* and appear to have been working towards these goals together for ages. What happened in the epilogue was left intentionally vague, but if you take in to context what we know about these characters, their abilities, and how magical shit works in Thedas, you can put together a decent interpretation.

My interpretation is thus:

What happened in the epilogue was the contingency plan Solas desperately wanted to avoid, and it’s likely a factor in why losing his Orb is so devastating to him. Flemeth/Mythal knew before hand what would happen and made the proper preparations. I think the reason Flemeth acts so seemingly out of character there is because Flemeth herself had already bounced. She sent her soul/spirit/whatever through the Eluvian to occupy the next host body. I have theories on ho that host might be, but that’s for another post. Point is, she’s been doing that exact thing for centuries, not sure what would stop her now.

So who was that we spoke to? I think it was just Mythal. Flemeth bounced, leaving Mythal’s wisp and possibly also the Archdemon behind.

Note—if Morrigan’s son Kieran exists in your world state, then the scene you get instead of going to the shrine takes place in The Fade (supposedly the actual Fade). And instead of it being just Flemeth, you find she’s essentially kidnapped her own grandson to preform some ritual on him involving the Archdemon soul. That line where she tells Morrigan “you were never in danger from me” is triggered after Morrigan refuses to sell out her own son to save herself—“I will not be the mother you were to me.”

What was Flemeth planning to do with Kieran? Who knows, but after Morrigan’s little freak out she extracts the Archdemon soul from Kieran with ease. Literally flicks her hand and whoosh. There goes Urthemiel. Now she’s got the demon…temporarily.

Kieran may be quantum but I think Flemeth likely ends up getting her hands on Urthemiel regardless. If I’m right, then the Archdemon as well as Mythal are now rooting around in Solas’ head. Think Justice and Anders from DA2 but instead of a regular spirit it’s two ancient beings with godlike power. I’m not sure this is an arrangement he’s particularly ok with, but it’s what he feels must be done for the greater good.

Thing is, I’m not sure the greater good actually matters to Flemeth or Mythal at this point. Maybe they did once, but the two have been warped over the ages. They care more about vengeance than justice. Even so, there’s a part of them (or maybe just Mythal) that has enough self awareness to feel guilt over how badly she keeps fucking over the people she’s meant to live most.

There are obvious parallels between Mythal and Divine Justinia, which is how people like myself have come to draw parallels between Solas and Leliana. Based on the very scant knowledge we have of their relationship, it seems like Solas (as Fen’Harel) was her left hand. Like Liliana, he was asked to do the dirty work. The kind of things that leave scars behind, both physical and emotional, and will eventually wear a person down over time.

When Flemeth/Mythal says to Solas, “I’m sorry, too” I can’t help but think of the message Justinia (or a spirit who identified with her) asked the Inquisitor to give Leliana: “I’m sorry, I failed you, too.”

I could keep going regarding my thoughts on Flemeth and that whole situation, but then this post would go on for miles.

TLDR; Flemeth is always suss

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Rereading The Fellowship of the Ring for the First Time in Fifteen Years

The more of this book I read, the less reasonable it seems to call this a reread. I definitely internalized almost nothing of this book the first time around. This time around though, we have fun things like Gandalf army crawling around Rivendell to troll Pippin, Boromir being the single person of the big folk to actually be practically concerned about the hobbits in the wild, and a personified and deeply pissed off mountain. So let's talk chapter three, "The Ring Goes South."

Literally the majority of the time we spend with the hobbits in Rivendell is in meetings. We JUST got out of the council meeting--which was a hell of an infodump chapter and frankly my head is STILL spinning over it--and now the hobbits are in Bilbo's room having their own little meeting. This is also kind of where I'm really starting to see the big folk totally disregard Merry and Frodo's relationship and lump Merry in with Pippin, because it's not even a QUESTION at first that Merry and Pippin will go along with Frodo and Sam. Which like...again...MERRY IS SOLIDLY 95% OF THE REASON THEY MADE IT OUT OF THE SHIRE AND TO BREE SAFELY. GIVE THE HOBBIT THE DAMN CREDIT HE DESERVES!!!

I can't say I'm not enjoying the Gandalf trolling Pippin dynamic, but it's wildly unfair to lump Merry into that, and frankly I cannot wait until our hobbit gets to Rohan and gets his own little adventure, because he deserves it.

In the meantime, however, all points to Sam for gently calling out that they'll "just wait long enough for winter to come" before leaving Rivendell to start their quest. I grew up in Alaska, and I am EXTREMELY with Sam on this one. A bigass quest in the winter is doable, if you're prepared and know how not to die of stupid or exposure or cold, but it is going to SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

I also deeply approve of Bilbo pinning the blame for THAT precisely where it belongs:

"That can't be helped," said Bilbo. "It's your fault partly, Frodo my lad: insisting on waiting for my birthday. A funny way of honoring it, I can't help thinking. Not the day I would have chosen for letting the S.-B.s into Bag End. But there it is: you can't wait now till spring; and you can't go till the reports come back."

The SHAAAAAAAAAAAAADE on Frodo giving Lobelia Sackville-Baggins Bag End on Bilbo's birthday there is amazing, and honestly this is an excellent point. That said though, it's also just a biiiiiiiiiiit harsh on Bilbo's part to blame Frodo for making a plan without full information. We do the best we can with the information we have at any given point, and I rather think that given his druthers--a a lack of Black Riders on the road--Frodo might have spent longer in Crickhollow and Bree, which could have meant that they would have been off on this trip in the spring. That would also have been entirely too late to do anything useful, but there you go.

We do just casually spend two months in Rivendell though, so it's literally the end of December before they get word that eight of the nine Black Riders were successfully de-horsed and de-cloaked by the rushing waters at the ford, which clears the party to officially form up and leave Rivendell.

I am not gonna lie, having largely grown up on the movies, I find it absofuckingloutely hilarious that Peter Jackson just kind of went, "Let's do 'I am Spartacus' during the council of Elrond to put the party together" and Elrond is basically like, "Nine companions...Cool beans!" And I have now discovered that the actual way this went down was a lot more "I am Elf Daddy, Hear Me Roar":

"And I will choose you companions to go with you, as far as they will or fortune allows. The number must be few, since your hope is speed and secrecy. [...] The Company of the Ring shall be Nine; and the Nine Walkers shall be set against the Nine Riders that are evil."

Ok, cool; they're an explicit parallel to the Black Riders. And thank you Tolkien for trying to subvert the dreaded movie title mention, even if Peter Jackson didn't take the hint and got cute with it (affectionately). I will say though, Elrond might have...ASKED FRODO if there was anyone in particular he wanted with him while he walked to hell. Like, this should have been a conversation, not a declaration. I grant, Frodo wouldn't have known all of what he'd need, but damn Elrond, way to not even bother to ASK.

Which is also why I am grateful Gandalf pipes up when Pippin insists that he and Merry are going. Because not only does Gandalf make up for the trolling a bit here, he also is willing to respect hobbits' desires more than LITERALLY ANYONE ELSE UP TO THIS POINT. Here's how this bit goes down:

"We don't want to be left behind. We want to go with Frodo." "That is because you do not understand and cannot imagine what lies ahead," said Elrond. "Neither does Frodo," said Gandalf, unexpectedly supporting Pippin. "Nor do any of us see clearly. It is true that if these hobbits understood the danger, they would not dare to go. But they would still wish to, or wish that they dared, and be shamed and unhappy. I think, Elrond. that in this matter it would be well to trust rather to their friendship than to great wisdom."

THEY ARE NOT CHILDREN JUST BECAUSE THEY'RE SHORT, ELROND. Frodo is like fully in his hobbit 30s, and everyone else is a legal hobbit adult. They get to make their own choices, even if your ass doesn't like them. And THANK YOU GANDALF for supporting hobbit agency at this time. Honest to christ, it's like big folk see small folk and go "child" and as a short woman (five foot one on a good day) this is deeply irritating to me. Height isn't some indicator of adulthood and intelligence. It's an indicator of HEIGHT.

And sure, even if the hobbits have no fucking clue what they're in for, that's not like...wildly unusual for newly adulted adults. We make all sorts of decisions in our early twenties (or have them made for us *glares in military drafts and student loans*) that we absolutely would not have made given more life experience. Like...welcome to adulthood, sit the fuck down Elrond.

Which he eventually does, we sort out the company roster, and everyone fucks off to go get kitted up.

Anduril just gets casually reforged so Aragorn can have a sword that is actually USEFUL on this leg of the trip. My favorite thing though? Absolutely has to be Bilbo's CASUAL DISREGARD FOR RIVENDELL'S ARCHITECURE:

"Here is your sword," he said. "But it was broken, you know. I took it to keep it safe but I've forgotten to ask if the smiths could mend it. No time now. So I thought, perhaps, you would care to have this, don't you know?" He took from the box a small sword in an old shabby leather scabbard. Then he drew it, and its polished and well-tended blade glittered suddenly, cold and bright. "This is Sting," he said, and thrust it with little effort deep into a wooden beam.

The absolute HELL I would have caught from literally everyone if I ever casually plunged a sword into someone else's house doesn't even bear thinking about. I also appreciate the casual hobbity disregard for Frodo's own sword. Like, it was broken, and Bilbo just...forgot to get it fixed? Part of me is like, "Well, he IS a hobbit," and the rest of me is like "THE FUCK YOU FORGOT, SIR. THIS IS A PLOY TO SET YOUR NEPHEW AND HEIR OFF WITH A SWORD YOU TRUST." Which is deeply relatable and honestly super adorably parental, especially since it is ABSOLUTELY Bilbo's fault that Frodo ended up in this position. (Yeah that might be harsh and it might ignore the Ring's own agency, but I stand by "magic rings shouldn't be passed down to unsuspecting nephews" thing.)

I do appreciate that Frodo gets Sting though, because that sword served Bilbo well in The Hobbit, and even I can appreciate the value of the inheritance that Sting brings to the quest in general and Bilbo in particular. Same with the Mithril shirt--although the word Mithril is not used in this chapter!!! Bilbo refers to it as dwarf-mail, and I would need to go back and look at The Hobbit to see if he knows it's Mithril there and I cannot currently be bothered.

What is really adorable is that Frodo takes one look at this thing--and its matching pearl and crystal belt--and goes "I should look - well, I don't think I should look right in it." And Bilbo AGREES!!! But it's darling, really, because he does the hobbitiest thing imaginable to get the protective gear on the nephew:

"Just what I said myself," said Bilbo. "But never mind about looks. You can wear it under your outer clothes. Come on! You must share this secret with me. Don't tell anybody else! But I should feel happier if I knew you were wearing it. I have a fancy it would turn even the knives of the Black Riders," he ended in a low voice.

The masterful parenting skills on display here. First, we validate the kid's feelings that yeah, it looks pretty stupid. But hey, nobody has to see, and it can be our cool little secret! And it would make me, your beloved, frail, old Uncle Bilbo feel better if you did. Do you WANT to get stabbed again? Because not wearing this is how you get stabbed again. This is literally just Bilbo running through the parenting manual at warp speed, and I kind of love it. Because ultimately, the Mithril goes on, and it will end up saving Frodo's ass.

Although admittedly it's not going to do much on Caradhras.

It then takes three and a half pages to get everyone out the goddamn gate, but a third of the way into this chapter, we do FINALLY get the fellowship setting forth. Before they can get out the door though, Elrond spends a weird amount of time going "EVERYONE IS A VOLUNTEER. THEY CAN LEAVE WHENEVER THEY WANT." It has very "Covering my ass to not get sued" vibes, and frankly while I appreciate the clarity--and yes, I get it, the choice to stay together is what makes the bonds strong more than some oath--CAN WE PLEASE GET THE HELL ON THE ROAD ALREADY???

It is getting toward January, so walking to the mountains is cold and windy and miserable but probably also deeply boring, so Tolkien kind of glosses over that until we get to the Misty Mountains and we get like fifteen names for each peak that I'm not spending time on because I don't care. The important thing is that we have to go up the Redhorn Gate on Caradhras and head for the Dimrill Dale, where we will descend the Dimrill Stair toward the Mirrormere and River Silverlode. Got it.

It does not take long for Aragorn to get anxious because the patterns of the land are disrupted, and I love that as per usual, when something important happens, it's Sam who is there. When the crebain pull their little flyover, it's Sam whose watch Aragorn shares, SAM who actually first sees the dark patch that heralds the spy birds, and Sam whose eyes we see them through. Sam is the keeper of knowledge for our hobbits, and I adore that this pattern is still standing strong, even if it means that these people can't stay secret or hidden for longer than a few days if their damn lives depend on it. Literally at no point have the forces of Mordor not known that the ring is moving, and they've generally had a rough sense of where it is too. Even Gandalf is over here going, "and I have no freaking clue how we're getting over the Redhorn Gate unseen, but we will burn that bridge when we get to it."

Unfortunately, by the time they actually do get to Caradhras, weather seems to be moving in, and Wizard Daddy and King of Gondor Daddy are fighting about the route and refusing to ask for directions:

"Winter deepens behind us, [...] the weather may prove a more deadly enemy than any. What do you think of your course now, Aragorn?" [...] "I think no good of our course from beginning to end, as you well know, Gandalf," answered Aragorn. [...] "But there is another way, and not by the pass of Caradhras: the dark and secret way that we have spoken of." "But let us not speak of it again! Not yet." [...] "We must decide before we go further," answered Gandalf.

But ultimately, they opt to go over the mountain, with Boromir super wisely piping up as the expert on traveling in deadly winter that hey, MAYBE THEY SHOULD BRING SOME FIREWOOD, because "it will not help us to keep so secret that we are frozen to death."

Like, Aragorn is a ranger, but he isn't used to these altitudes. Gandalf and Legolas aren't bothered by snow. Gimli is...a dwarf. But Boromir has probably seen people die in snow and cold, and I'd bet he knows that thanks to the weird thing where people who are smaller have higher surface-area-to-volume ratios and lose body heat faster. Boromir and Aragorn are big dudes, but the hobbits are literally child-sized. They're going to be in more danger from cold faster. So YEAH, bring the extra fire wood.

Oh, and hey, Gimli? THIS MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE MOMENT TO MENTION THAT CARADHRAS HATES ELVES AND WIZARDS. I PERHAPS WOULD NOT HAVE WAITED UNTIL YOU WERE EYEBALL DEEP IN AN UNNATURAL SNOWSTORM TO MENTION THIS.

Seriously, they get partway up this mountain, and Gandalf and Aragorn are still having a pissing contest about the route they're now actively on, Boromir is hypothesizing that Sauron is yeeting a blizzard at them, AND NOT A GODDAMN WORD FROM GIMLI until the next day when Boromir is hearing fell voices in the air and BIGASS STONES ARE FALLING ON THEIR HEADS. And even then, it's not the full explanation we'll get in another couple pages, it's:

"Caradhras was called the Cruel, and had an ill name," said Gimli, "long years gao, when rumour of Sauron had not been heard in these lands."

Like, sure, ok. It's a mean, grouchy mountain. BUT AGAIN, MAYBE WE COULD HAVE PICKED A DIFFERENT ROUTE IF WE KNEW IT SPECIFICALLY HATED ELVES AND WIZARDS.

This heralds probably the worst night that the company spends on this mountain. They have almost no cover, the snow nearly buries the hobbits, and had Boromir not been watching, they'd have fallen asleep and suffocated to death under snow or frozen to death. And it is SUPER clear that Gandalf doesn't understand how biology works, because in response to Boromir's "This will be the death of the halflings" (which, YEAH, no kidding!!!), Gandalf pulls out the Elven liquor. Specifically miruvor, or the cordial of Imladris, but that means jack to me at this point other than IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO KEEP THE HOBBITS ALIVE IN A MOUNTAIN BLIZZARD IN JANUARY.

Ultimately it's Boromir's foresight to bring some goddamn fuel and light a fire that keeps the hobbits alive, and frankly as someone who grew up where it could hit minus 50 Fahrenheit, Gandalf is no longer allowed to lead on mountains. If Boromir hadn't been there, they would have had four dead hobbits on their hands. Like, yes, eyes on the prize, but PERHAPS NOT AT THE EXPENSE OF THE LIFE OF THE RINGBEARER LESS THAN A MONTH INTO THE JOURNEY???

At this point, Gimli calls for, and is granted, a retreat, because the mountain is absolutely going to kill all their asses. Boromir again gets MEGA points for being the beefiest of beefy warrior men and breaking a trail to get everyone else down--WHILE CARRYING MERRY AND PIPPIN. Like, quite literally this bear of a man has one hobbit piggyback, one clinging to his front like a monkey, and STILL manages to keep clearing and widening the path for everyone behind him. And this goes on for like another day or two as they get off murder mountain.

Quite literally I am gonna need everyone to stop what they're doing and acknowledge that Boromir pulled everyone's asses out of the fire that Aragorn and Gandalf bickered them into. Like, I'm not gonna say this man was done completely dirty by the movie, because he gets little "protector of the hobbits' physical well-being" moments throughout, but HOLY TITS WAS THAT SCALED DOWN.

I think I'll leave it here, with Caradhras having quite handily handed the fellowship their asses, and Boromir being the only reason that the hobbits survived that little foray into mountain passes. Like, they gave it the old college try, and I'm sure that probably seemed like the least bad of all the shitty options for travel in front of them, but if anything was DESIGNED to murder the hobbits in their little hairy tracks, it was the angry, Elf and Wizard hating mountain that can yeet stones and whip up killer blizzards...

[genderqueerdykes]

hey, i recently discovered im a system. i (the host) feel kind of uncomfortable with this (and ive been kind of pissing off the other alters too 😭) im starting to wonder if i can have the life i dreamed of while being a system. do you have any advice? did you ever feel the same way or were you always at peace with it? tysm, your blog always makes my day 💓

hello there!

i know it's been a while since you've sent this, i hope you all are doing well! i totally get where you're coming from, we've had members of our system feel the same way, especially when we were diagnosed, and when we figured it out before that.

past hosts have been very bothered by it, and it's okay!

it's not always easy, we actually have not always been at peace with it, and do struggle with the fact that we are multiple people quite often! being multiple people saves our life. it's literally what keeps us going but at times it's very stressful because there are many of us who want to do things that our body can't, or, the rest of us don't want to do. i think if you are able to find ways to communicate with the others and listen to their wants and needs, you'll be able to do your best to meet their needs while meeting yours as well. i think you'll be able to strike a balance if you make it so that doing something good for you means you'll do something good for them too (or allow them to do what's right for them) in reasonable capacities.

i don't think, in being plural, one has to totally sacrifice their wants, needs and goals. life is long and there are periods of time where one person holds down the fort for long stretches and then fades off, someone else picks up where they left off. sometimes there is someone who's always there, and so on. i think you'll figure out how to work with each other. take care of yourselves! good luck! communication really helps, either through journaling or a private discord server for just you and your system! stay safe out there!

[cyberfairyblog]

Cyberweek Day 7: OC

To end cyberweek here's some tidbits about my self insert pix + selfship lore

Even though he only appeared literally THREE TIMES the whole 22 years, I still ship myself with him. I think he's cool and has a potential to be a recurring ally to the squad. Also I'm a sucker for normal laidback guy x powerful magic woman trope

Technically Coop isn't an oc but there's so much we don't know about his life, I had to make one up. After his return, Coop starts working HQ as the repair guy/mission control. One potential redesign has him look older due to the magnetite. Since he had been infected for so long and so intensely, some of the damage is permanent. That won't keep him from staying off the rails!

Coop was a child prodigy in both inventing and extreme sports, but became a small time mechanic because he didn't care much for the spotlight.

He and Pix met she was assigned a mission in Radopolis where Coop and Hacker were working on an Top Secret project for Motherboard. She was disguised as a Radster, that coop quickly deduced that she was a poser.

Coop was a single father at the time. He had broken up woth a girlfriend from a previous relationship and had full custody of Slider. Pix absolutely fell in love with the boy, he was adorable and was just as passionate about life and skating as his father. She felt bad Coop had all this responsibility, so she often visited them to help around the shop or watch over Slider. Over time Pix grew to be a regular fixture at the shop. Eventually Coop started to enjoy her presence, and one night asked her out on a date.

Pix was nervous but was convinced by her friend to give it a shot. She loved it. Coop had this calming presence that made the night bearable. He wasn't judgemental, and even nervous himself. After a few more dates they made their relationship official but kept it on the down low.

Until Hacker found out...and Oooh. He was PISSED! He had wanted to ask Pix out FIRST!

After Coop's disappearance Pix took over his duties as store owner. She wanted to know the real reason behind his disappearance. She suspected Hacker to be the one behind it but wasn't for sure. She missed coop terribly, so much she lost her taste for skating and magic. It wasn't until meeting the kids she gradually regained her sense of peace. Pix began to play old rock songs Coop gifted her with, and always made sure to pay the bills. The shop was all she had.

Until Slider found the letter inside the picture frame. Pix read and and realized Coop left to protect them. Now he was in danger, time to return the favor.

They did find Coop, but their fight wasn't over as there was still Mecha Hacker to defeat. Luckily with leftover energy from the Transformatron and sheer love for Coop, her family and friends Pix evolved to a bigger form and took Hacker straight on!

Hacker had a huge crush on Pix, in fact her choosing Coop over him was one factor into his turn to evil. But she hates him now. She used to see him as a friend, if a bit weird, so she was disappointed to discover his true nature as a selfish butthole.

Even 22 years later, Hacker still thinks he has a chance XD

Older Doodles of Pix + her and Coop as an elderly couple. They'd be the really chill grandparents XD

[best-transgender-character]

Is all the characters being from Homestuck literal or a joke? (Genuine question, not upset. Just need clarification because that could really be either)

I'm breaking character in this post, for the only time. If you don't want the joke explained, don't keep reading.

Questions:

Is this a joke/rigged? Yes. Submissions were not taken into account, every poll of round one was drafted long before submissions closed. I had the list of competitors and the match-ups planned before I even made the blog. This was the plan all along. The competition was rigged from the very beginning.

Is this a real competition? Yes! I will be running polls with the characters in the match-ups. We will have a winner. It is still a real competition, and I encourage you to participate if you want, and reblog/vote and send propaganda.

Will you be running a different competition afterwards (with the real submissions)? No. This is the only competition I'm going to run. If you stick around only because you think there's going to be a different competition than this one, you'll be disappointed.

Why is X included? Why wasn't Z included? At the end of the day, the choice to exclude certain characters was a personal one. I'm no-longer going to be giving public reasoning for choices I've made including or excluding characters. You can DM me if you're genuinely concerned or curious.

Will you post the submissions? No, not publicly. If someone with prior competition experience wants to run the competition, they can reach out and I'll likely share the data with them.

Surely you don't actually expect us to believe it was all Homestuck submissions? No, I absolutely don't expect that. The absurdity is part of the joke. If you see my other posts insisting that the match-ups accurately reflect the submissions, that's because those posts are in-character.

Why did you do this? Mostly to see how people would react. The original inspiration for it came from the way Homestuck characters are sometimes over-represented in Tumblr competitions, as well as the way people get really mad about Homestuck characters in these competitions. The joke is that every single Homestuck character is transgender, and that these characters are superior to every other transgender character in media. The original thought process was something along the lines of, "You could submit every single Homestuck character to a poll like this."

Complaints:

I feel cheated that my character didn't get in!/I put so much work into my submission! The reality of these competitions is that most characters do not get in. If you're upset that your submission didn't make it, you're likely part of one of two groups. Either your character is less popular, and therefore wouldn't make the poll anyway, or your character is incredibly popular, in which case they've been included in countless identical polls already. When you submit a character, there's no guarantee that they'll make it. You do so voluntarily, with the knowledge that it's only a chance. If this is genuinely distressing to you, you may want to reconsider how you interact with online polls.

You're transphobic! I'm transgender, and I don't feel that this joke is at the expense of transgender people. Even if you do feel that this joke mocks the transgender community, I think it is healthy and good to be able to take the piss out of ourselves from time to time.

I was hoping to discover new transgender representation! This blog never claimed to be about transgender representation, and explicitly did not preference canonicity. However, if you're looking for interesting transgender characters, I have a webcomic in mind that you might find interesting.

This isn't funny. That's okay, the joke wasn't for you.

[ID: Anonymous asked "You could say we got trolled." End ID]

Credits:

Thank you to @hsrips for the promo and image edits.

Thank you to my friends for laughing with me.

Thank you to the people spreading the polls and rooting for the characters, especially the people getting really into the more niche characters.

And most of all, thank you to the people who originally reblogged the post, who were here before the round one announcement, who submitted a huge amount of characters, and who got really upset at me. This joke relied so heavily on you, and I appreciate it a lot.

[sophieinwonderland]

We are very pissed at the anti-endo response to the endogenic system venting at the fact that they would have died without their headmates and they come swinging in “oh we don’t hate your existence just stop being on our spaces!!!1!!”

Let us tell you a story of why that fucking sentence doesn’t make sense.

I’ve known my headmates for years. I knew who they were and we were going through life as best we could. The problem was we never had the right words to express what my headmates were to me and back then systems were not known or demonized. We heard about them here and there but nothing we had pursued because I was so focused on my life.

3 years ago I had discovered my sexuality and decided to join a server with beings that shared this identity with me. That’s when I first ran into systems. They were using a bot and everything. I didn’t know what that was so I read up on what plural kit was to make sure I was respectful of their existence. I’m going to say out right that this server is very hostile to any questioning system because the owners forbade any kind of system discussion cus they didn’t want system discourse on this server. You know what this catered to? Sysmeds. The system accountability was so loose that an anti-Xenopronouns headmate got a slap on the wrist while we got shouted at because how dare we hurt the mod’s friend. During this time we’re starting to question our plurality but we couldn’t speak about it at all so we continued to be in denial. The only good experience that we had is making a friend on here and moving to a private chat they had encouraged my in-sys partner to talk because they saw me talk about her and wanted to hear what she had to say. I made a Tupp for her and it was like shocking when she took over my hands for the first time in my life. She was stunned too when she was able to talk about herself without me having to do so. Still didn’t believe we were a system still.

Eventually we left that server because of how poor the moderation is. We then decided to join a self-shipping server because I incorrectly assumed that my in-sys partner was my fictional other but like I had no words to accurately describe my relationship with her at the time. I was getting desperate to find the right words. Now that sever was all fun and games for about 2 months. Literally two days after celebrating our anniversary we got banned. Without warning mind you and we saw that server got erased from our sidebar with our own eyes. The server owner had to be pushed by a mod to “explain” what happened only to give a vauge response of “gatekeeping”. The mods that pushed the owner to explain then thought it was bs then started talking about the reason why I was banned. They said that we were questioning about being a system and that was a no-no because they just got a very anti-endo on the mod team who mind you is underage in an 18+ server and the owner hated us so much that they would find anything to hit us with. The mod in question is a system but they had to hide behind “kins” to not get targeted by said anti-endo. They couldn’t do anything for us and just told us to find a different place. This was our breaking point. My protector and partner decided to stop talking to anybody outside of the system since she thought it was for the best.

I have given up hope that I could ever find the words to our existence. These 3 months after I didn’t go out to find a space for an identity. A place to call home because of every step lead to us being unwelcomed.

One day I ran into an Alterhuman server promoting their safe space for robots and anyone interested in learning about the robot side of the community. The sigh of relief when we saw that the rules stated they support good faith identities and that included endogenic systems. Not going to lie when we saw very active systems in this space we were nervous. So for the first month I never questioned my system hood and just stuck to being an “singlet” and just talk about my nonhuman experience. Over time we just saw how free the systems were able to talk about their experiences and just being happy in the server in general. I couldn’t hold back our trauma from being denied access to a space to talk and question. I broke down in the vent channel about our experience the past year and just being confused if we are a system or not. The server owner stepped in and said we are welcome to ask questions and even take the label of being plural if we wish to. Not just one or two- but four individual systems came over in support for our questioning being a system or not. We didn’t start doing that right away after all we were nervous but, a few days later my partner decided to talk once in the chat. She was rusty and very tired but she wanted to test the waters. When nothing happened we continued to explore this part of ourselves we denied for so long.

To the surprise of nobody we are indeed a system. This entire story is about how much damage that sysmeds did to other communities outside of plural spaces to the point that a system that was trying to find themselves got trapped in a loop of rejection and denial. Our story is not the first of its kind nor is it the last.

Anti-endos you can continue to keep your heads in the sand and look away from the damaged you’ve created for questioning and uncertain systems or reflect on why there is suddenly a rise of servers that don’t want systems to talk about their experiences and just being hostile to all systems.

Thank you so much for sharing your story and experiences. All of this was so horrible, and I'm sorry you all had to go through this.

This story is becoming all to common, and it's everything we're trying to fight against. I talked about bigoted and exclusionary servers not too long ago with the Alterhumans Things Discord.

To many of these anti-endos, the spaces we're invading are just... any spaces anywhere. Like this person in another post:

The "anti-endos just don't like endogenic systems coming into DID/OSDD spaces" line is just a lie.

It's frankly insulting to our intelligence as system exclusionism spreads through online communities like cancer, hurting not just endogenic systems, but also any traumagenic and disordered systems that don't fit the mold.

Again, thank you so much for taking the time to share your story. It was incredibly well-written.

I hope that now that you're out of those spaces, you can keep healing and working together. Sending my love to you, your partner and the rest of your system. 💖💖💖💖

[chiyoso]

dude.

seeing other writers/mutuals who are so skilled at what they do talk about not getting support in their sfw, fluff and angst fics just piss me the fuck off, i'm genuinely so heated at the amount of old and new writers struggling because of new tumblr users

ik a lot of you readers like to read our smut fics/porn fics, but those writers, also talking abt only getting likes, instead of reblogs n interactions from those types of works as well is just so depressing that im starting to have this growing idea of what some to most readers are in tumblr

ill be the voice that other writers are hesitant and afraid to express:

REBLOGS; ARE SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT TO US THAN A SIMPLE DOUBLE TAP DOES.

LIKES are like a quick glance for us writers.

LIKES are like people who pass by us when we walk anywhere and everywhere.

LIKING is like telling us writers who take our time to write FREE shit for you; “we see it, we like it, but we will not do anything about it”

LIKES will NOT get us writers anywhere in this app.

LIKES is like deafening SILENCE for us writers, crickets, ghosts, an eerie dark night.

LIKES arent similar to instagram, tiktok and other platforms. it is DIFFERENT in this platform. they dont mean jack shit.

LIKES are like a hit and dip shit scenario. one night stand, loveless sex, meaningless encounters.

i've seen so much amazing fics, nsfw or sfw have over almost 9k interactions, then i look to the reblogs count and see only a whopping 500 or so like THE FUCK? SCUSE ME? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT RATIO?

if you're apart of the "ooh! i genuinely like this!" then only press like—thank you, truly. we're glad you like our work, to gain your interest and your silent support, but i want to inform you simply liking doesn't help us in a technical sense, it doesn't help our blog, our reach, it doesn't help our blog grow.

and if you're one of the blogs who only likes, i genuinely don't know what's so trifling and difficult about reblogging and adding the pre-made tags for you to spam and get it over with. i do it and its so, so fucking easy.

i genuinely, genuinely don't understand the analogy as to why you can't just... press that helpful ass button beside the heart. please, someone, enlighten me behind the reasoning.

if you're a bot, fuck you.

now, REBLOGS.

will at least (without tags/comments) be seen by your following and increase our significance only slightly.

REBLOGS with # tags INCREASE our chances of being discovered by a fuck ton.

REBLOGS with tags MIXED with your comments HEAVILY motivate us, your thoughts about our WORK motivates us.

REBLOGS are so, so fucking relieving for us, and that relief has been addictive to those starved from support, especially to writers who are struggling OUTSIDE of their work/hobby/blog.

REBLOGS in a literal sense, mean so much more to us than likes. especially with your damn thoughts. the mere thought of taking your time into writing something FOR US and OUR CREATION is so fucking motivating, every positive input from you will be CHERISHED no matter what.

and the fact we have to beg for it, to speak out about it as of late...

god, i remember in full detail the day where i wrote my first story, it had only 200 interactions max, and most of them were only likes and a few reblogs, but my inbox was full of positivity, mixed in with a few shitty ones, but i pressed on because of SAID INTERACTIONS AND MY LOVE FOR WRITING.

to my mutuals and other writers; i fucking love you and your stories so much, sfw or not, the writing community has done so much for me mentally, and lots of fics have been healing me. god its my first time releasing such emotions into this blog, but yea, ive just had it from the amount of turmoil ppl have been causing into all of you, outside tumblr or not.

hhh fuck im so pissed ill stop it right here, stay safe and may your favorite characters kiss you goodnight

[balis77]

Gonna hit that “Genuine Character Analysis” blunt and talk about Atraxa and Art for a minute

Ok so in Chapter 4 of the MOM story, we see Atraxa see a museum for the first time and discover art, and also discover that she absolutely fucking hates it. Now, I noticed this was actually pretty similar to her seeing that Ixhel made Vishgraz and getting absolutely pissed at her for it, and I was gonna make a joke about “Atraxa hates arts and crafts lol”, but then I noticed that there is a genuine theming to it that’s pretty interesting.

Atraxa doesn’t seem to hate art or creating specifically, she seems to hate the concept of creating something without an direct purpose for it. She was fine making Ixhel because Ixhel is her tool. She’s supposed to be the extension of herself that can do tasks for her while she’s preoccupied. She doesn’t mind compleation because it’s not creating something, its converting something. But then she sees the art museum, and Vishgraz, and how they were created more or less for the purpose of creating, and she can’t understand it. It makes her angry because it genuinely goes against her entire philosophy. It has no direct reason to exist, so why should it exist? And her answer is that it shouldn’t.

The reason she has this mindset is actually pretty simple and actually a genius way to implement the few bits of lore she got before All Will Be One; she was compleated and effectively reborn by the combined efforts of four Praetors. Elesh Norn, Jin-Gitaxias, Vorniclex, and Sheoldred. The one that didn’t participate? Urabrask, the red Praetor. Red, the color of creativity and self expression. The color of Phyrexians that canonically spend all day making new stuff out of spare junk they find in the Furnace Layer. The faction of Phyrexians that literally encourage making whatever your creativity demands. The reason for her mindset is that she’s literally missing her creativity on account of Urabrask refusing to participate like the others. She was created to be the embodiment of the four other Praetors, so of course anything relating to the one who didn’t show up was completely left out. By design she has no self expression, and she sees that as perfection, so anything that goes against that concept makes her angry. Hell, you can even make the argument that she gets so mad because it reminds her that there is something that she’s missing. That she isn’t perfect.

Just a neat detail I noticed.

[hello-nichya-here]

Wait, are you a Michael Jackson fan? I just discovered it now, god, I love him so much, but almost everything I see or hear about him in the media upsets me so terribly. All these streams of insults addressed to him in recent years after that "documentary" film, people do not want to understand, they are just glad that they again have a "reason" for bullying. But most of all it upsets me when they say what an amazing father Joe was and that it was thanks to him that Michael became a great singer. Joe was a fucking abuser and a scumbag, and I'll never stop saying that. The general reaction on Twitter to his death, "he was a great man and we are grateful to him," so terribly pissed me off. Loving Michael for me has always been akin to the experience of being in the ATLA fandom: there are too many stupid or hateful people who spoil all the joy of what you love so much.

I sure am! He was truly one of a kind and I've been very happy that everyone is giving me all the excuses to praise him as much as I want.

God, anyone who says Joseph Jackson was good father is either in denial or doesn't know a damn thing about him.

There's a reason Michael literally said that, when he was younger, he felt like throwing up whenver he saw his father. A reason why Michael's brothers were all entitled as fuck, and why their exes always said "Michael was literally the only one who didn't turn out exactly like Joseph" whenever they were trashing these guys.

That reason is: Joseph Jackson physically, verbally, and emotionally abused his children, and he trained every single one of them to see every awful thing he did as not just acceptable, but necessary. He wasn't just as violent, cruel man. He was a manipulative scumbag too.

I get extra mad when people (especially many memebers of the Jackson family) try to excuse it as "Oh, but that was just the way to discipline children back then"

1 - Segregation was once "the norm." In many countries, child brides are "the norm." For many people war is "the norm." "Thing is accepted/part of a whole group's reality" is not the same as "thing is completely fine." What Joseph put his children through was abuse, doesn't matter if they forgave him, if it was the "norm", or if they genuinely (incorrectly) believe they achieved all they achieved because of him instead of inspite of him, it was already wrong back then, it is still wrong now, and it will ALWAYS be wrong.

2 - If you don't know how to discipline a child without hitting them, you're a shit parent. Plain and simple.

Ah, Leaving Neverland. I'm gonna be cliche and make the joke of "The one documentary that doesn't actually document anything." The way people were acting like it brought forth any kind of real evidence against Michael instead of just contradictory statements and drone shots is ridiculous.

I will give Robson and Safechuck props for one thing though: it is one hell of a bold move to base your entire "testimony" on the fake-diary of the alleged original victim (Jordan Chandler), which was actually the pornography novel with the very explicit fantasies of the proud, confessed pedophile Victor Gutierrez, who basically claimed "If anything sexual happened between Michael and this kid, it's because the kid was totally in love and consented, so it was beautiful actually."

I mean, it's bold because it's stupid and immoral on every level, but still, can't say I saw that one coming.