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outsideratheart · 6 months

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Healing (Alexia Putellas x reader)

A/N: This took me a lot longer to finish than I hoped but it’s done. Grab a drink and get comfy because it’s a long one, in fact I think it’s my longest fic to date.

The world had its questions and you were well aware of the headlines.

Y/N Y/L/N quits football.

Where is Y/N Y/L/N? Here's what we know.

The best in the world has vanished.

If you find Y/N tell her Sarina is looking for her.

The last twelve months had been the hardest in your life. You thought you could prepare for it, that it would easier because you knew it was coming but that wasn't the case. The day it happened was the day your heart broke and as you buried her you knew you were burying part of yourself too.

You left the world speculating as to why you didn't extend your contract with Lyon, why you never signed for another club and more importantly people were wondering where you had disappeared to.

Both your club and country team mates knew about your personal life and the tragedy that happened shortly after the euros.

You missed football, of course you did, but you also needed to take time away to process what had happened. A return date was never set but then the world cup happened. You watched your team mates cry after losing to Spain and you couldn't help but feel partially responsible. The game might have ended differently if you had played.

A decision had been made. It was time to return to the pitch. You had offers before and after the euros. The only question is what teams would still want you?

The sun was setting in Barcelona as the team finished up a late training session. Most of the players stayed behind to take advantage of the free food given they knew once they got home they wouldn't have the energy to cook themselves.

“Lucy your phone is ringing” Ona shouts over to where the English defender is filling her plate.

“Who is it?” Lucy replies.

Ona’s face floods with guilt. Almost as if she shouldn’t be looking at the phone. This sparks interest of those around her but no one more than Keira who sees the name on the screen.

“Y/N” Lucy all but ran back to table after hearing Keira say your name “is everything ok? Where are you? Yes I’m with Lucy. Before I hand you over promise me that you’re ok? Good”

Keira hands over the phone and watches Lucy’s face as she tries to figure out why you called and what you are talking about.

“Yes there are people around me. Ok, I’ll ask”

When you hang up the phone Lucy does as you ask or at least she makes the first step.

“Alexia” Lucy walks around to where the captain is sat with Mapi and Ingrid “Who would I talk about signing a new player?”

“It’s not our job to recruit players but if you know something that might help the club then tell me and I will ask” Alexia wasn’t stupid. She heard your name and now Lucy was asking this. It wasn’t a coincidence.

“I can’t. This is a sensitive subject”

“Vale. Talk to Jona and if he thinks the player is right for the club then he can set up a meeting”

Alexia left the training facility that night thinking of you. You were at the peak of your career, many people considered you the best in the world and if she is being honest she thought you would win the Balon d’Or, not her. That night Alexia watched your highlights for hours, even the ones in the games against her. You really were a once in a generation player which makes it that much harder for Alexia to understand why you walked off the pitch at Wembley and hadn’t been seen on one since.

The next day at training the energy felt different. Lucy and Keira had a sense of happiness that their team mates hadn’t seen before. They would gather around Lucy’s phone but then hide it when somebody came close to them.

Jona came walking into the gym with Xavi Puig right behind him and called over both Keira and Lucy. A couple of players watch the conversation unfold and tried their hardest to read their lips.

“Ingrid, what are they saying?” Mapi nudges her girlfriend.

“They’re talking about Y/N Y/L/N” Alexia was stretching on the floor playing no part in the eavesdropping.

“How do you know?” Ingrid asks her.

“She called Lucy yesterday and then Lucy talked to me about the club signing a new player. I can’t know for sure but that’s what I think is going on”

A couple of days later you landed in Barcelona, greeted by the warm weather and your two England team mates who kept a low key appearance in the arrivals hall. You stop when you are a meter away them. You didn’t know what to do, you hadn’t seen them in almost a year.

“Come here” Lucy throws her arms around you followed by Keira.

“We’re so happy to see you Y/N. We really have missed you”

You remain quiet as you walk to the car. Both of them fill you in on what the team is like and you make sure to remind them that you haven’t officially signed yet.

“Jona mentioned that. You want a trial training session?”

“It’s the right thing to do” you didn’t want any special treatment. You wanted to earn the right to play for the club and not just be handed the contract.

“You could have not played football for 5 years and still run rings round all of us” Lucy knows you the most having played with her at both club and country. You were too humble in her eyes so she took it upon herself to remind you of your greatness from time to time.

“I never said I haven’t played football. That has been the thing to get me through the past 10 months” you didn’t mean to be a downer, in fact you didn’t know what you were saying until it was too late.

“How are you doing?” Keira asks from the front seat and you see Lucy eyeing you up in rear view mirror.

“Some days are harder than others and no day has been easy. She would be happy that I’m here though. She always said that if I didn’t go back to England then she’d want us to come here”

You couldn’t bring yourself to say her name.

“She always did hate the french winters” Lucy laughs at the memories she shared with your wife.

Your mind goes back to just a couple of years ago. Lyon were playing at home and the weather was awful. You saw Natalia in the crowd shivering but still she cheered you on, she always was your biggest fan. Come rain or shine, your girl was in the audience. You hated the thought of playing without her being in the crowd but you also knew she wouldn’t want to give up your career.

“Y/N” Keira gently nudged your knee. It was obvious that you were taking a trip down memory lane and she didn’t want to scare you.

“Huh” you quickly wiped away a tear “Oh we’re here” you grabbed your backpack and jumped out of the car leaving them in the front not knowing what to do.

“Let’s leave her be. She knows we are here and will come to us when she’s ready”

You were in awe as you walked the halls of Joan Camper. The things the team has achieved were that of greatness. It was a club that created legacys and you found yourself feeling something that you hadn’t in a long time; excitement.

Lucy and Keira lead you to the locker room just as they were instructed to. The rest of the team were already out of the field which was part of the plan. There hanging in a corner locker was a training kit for you. You didn’t expect it and you definitely didn’t expect to have been given your number.

“You did this?” You ask the pair.

“Salma did. The team knows you called Lucy and when Salma heard to locker room rumours of you joining she insisted. Between us she is a big fan of yours, bigger than Luce”

“Not possible” the defender joked.

The boots were fastened and you were ready, well almost ready. There was one thing you wasn’t prepared for. You looked down at your necklace. It was a simple gold chain that held two rings: yours and Talia’s.

“I can’t do it” you slumped down in defeat and bury your face in your hands.

“Hey” Lucy crouches down in front of you “they let us wear jewellery for training, you can keep them on”

You walked out onto the field and all eyes fell on you. You felt like a spectacle and you hated the attention. They didn’t know the current version of you, they had only met the old Y/N so you channel her and introduce yourself to them during the next drinks break.

“I know some of us have met as opponents but this is different. I’m Y/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you all, I hope I can keep up” you make a joke hoping to avoid the elephant in the room.

“We’ll see about that. I’m Alexia” She is the first person to you.

“Lovely to meet you Alexia”

It’s hard to explain the feeling when you’re playing football. It’s as if you mind switches off whilst also been completely focused. It take a few attempts to get into the rhythm that is Barcelona football but you catch on quickly. It comes as no shock to the rest of the team that you play in complete sync with Lucy and Keira. The two of them even stay back at the end to work with you on some movements that you weren’t pleased with.

Some players go shower but a few stay behind, albeit out of sight, and watch you.

“She has a gift” Alexia says to nobody in particular.

“Nobody has seen her in over a year and this is how she is playing. Look, she is running rings around them. How is that possible?” Patri adds.

“Does anybody know where she was?” Pina asks the small group.

“No but I could ask Ingrid or Caro to ask Ada. They are best friends and surely you would tell your best friend where you are going” Mapi forms a plan in her head, one that she will soon find out to be a bad idea.

“Do it” Alexia tells the defender “We are a family here and if she joins us then we have a right to know where she has been”

When Barcelona posted a photo of you signing a contract on their socials the world went crazy. The media were relentless and the fans were quick to show their support for you even though some were skeptical about your sudden reappearance and new team.

You ignored them for the most part as they had no idea what had happened. You fit into the team almost right away and was enjoying every game with Barcelona. You scored on your debut and had been involved in a goal every game since. Months had passed and much to your surprise you had only been asked about the missing year once or twice.

Caro refused to ask Ada about you and Ingrid only did when her girlfriend became obsessed with finding out the truth. Ada’s answer was simple ‘I won’t tell you and if she doesn’t want you to know then you should respect her wishes’.

You remained a mystery though and for the most part the team seemed to forget about your missing year.

When the second international window came that is when things changed and you felt like you made a friend. Mapi still wasn’t representing her country so she reached out and asked if you wanted to meet up for a coffee.

Anybody could easily be intimidated by the blonde but you liked her. She had this energy that made you know accepting her invite was a no brainer. That and you had questions of your own.

“How did you know?”

Mapi places down a a small coffee in a glass; a cortado.

“I asked Keira what you ordered”

A comfortable silence took over as the two of you sipped on your coffees. You found it funny the way Mapi looked at you then her coffee and back to you again. You recognised the signs; you were making her nervous. Why though you had no idea.

You decide to make the first move and you get straight to the point much to the defender’s surprise.

“I spoke with Ada”

This got her attention. You had your suspicions but the look on her face confirmed it. Still, she played along.

“That’s nice. You’re very close, no?” Mapi tried her best to look innocent but you weren’t having any of it and the look on your face told her that.

“She had an interesting conversation with Ingrid. Do you happen to know anything about this?”

She did. You know she did.

“No” you got a sheepish look from Mapi and you wondered if she knew how unconvincing she was being.

“I think you did. I think you got Ingrid to ask Ada about me”

“Lo siento”

“Here’s the thing I don’t understand. I know you all want to know, you’ve been whispering about me for months yet not one of you has come to me and asked me directly. You have been going behind my back trying to dig up information about a time that I clearly don’t want to talk about”

Mapi dips her head. She truly thought that her and the team were been careful but obviously not.

“Maria, I want you to put yourself in my shoes. Would you want to talk about it with strangers when you barely talk to your best friends about it?”

The defender thinks about it for a moment. You had barely left Lucy and Keira’s side but she hadn’t really heard you talking, you were always listening to what they were saying and replying when necessary.

“It was bad wasn’t it?” She asks.

“The worse year of my life” you confess and you can your throat close at the thought of the months in question.

“We are in jail?”

You cannot help but chuckle at her words.

“No, I was not in jail”

“Did you kill somebody?”

“No, I did not kill anybody”

“So no crimes were committed?”

“Is that what you have all come up with? That I broke the law?”

“Most of us, yes. Aitana think’s you were in the hospital because you were sick”

Her response came at the worst time possible. You spit your coffee out when you hear the midfielder’s suspicion.

Technically she was right. You were in the hospital but you weren’t in the hospital.

“I wasn’t sick”

“Clearly. Look at you, you’re huge. I mean you are big. No, you are strong”

“Calm down Mapi, I know what you mean. Thank you”

The two of you stay in the cafe for another hour. You take this time just the two of you getting to know one another. You ask Mapi about her tattoos and she learn’s you have a few of your own which are hidden on your back. When she asks for their meaning you promise you will tell her the stories another time.

You both walk to the metro station and by coincidence you end up of the same train. You get off before her and just before the door opens, Mapi grabs your hand.

“I’ll get them to stop. You don’t owe us an explanation, Y/N”

“Thank you Maria”

You’re not sure what the tattooed defender said but the whispers stopped or so you thought. They stopped whispering in front of you but little did you know the speculations were still going on behind your back. It is early in December when things come to a head and you snapped.

“What do you mean she is staying Spain?” Alexia asked Salma.

“That she is staying her in Barcelona. She said she might go to Valencia for a few days but that’s it” the forward wasn’t sure what to say or if she should have said anything at all.

“And you don’t think that is strange? This is woman who used to love England. The fans called her Queen of England, por dios. How can she be apart of this team if we know nothing about her. She is lying to us” Alexia ranted on and who knew how much longer she would have continued if not for Lucy interrupting her.

“Alexia, that is enough!” Lucy slams her fist on the locker before turning to her captain “She has come to this team and done nothing but good. She plays well for us and gives it her all on the pitch. Off it she makes the effort and yes sometimes she says no to things but isn’t that her right? You stand there as our captain but look at you, you’re nothing but a bully. I am ashamed to say i’m your team mate right now. That girl has been through hell these past couple of years and since coming here all you keep doing is reminding her of what has happened. You are obsessed with her. Look around, no one else is digging for information. No one is making her uncomfortable on a daily basis”

“She is lying to us. She won’t tell us where she was for over a year. She is hiding something and that isn’t fair on us” Alexia tried to defend her actions.

“Isn’t fair? Are you really that self centred? You have no right to talk about what is and is not fair. I don’t care if you are my captain, I won’t stand by you while you treat my best friend like she has done something wrong. You, Alexia, are a —“

“Lucy” The whole locker room turns upon hearing your voice “I have given up on Alexia, it’s time you do too”

“No! I won’t let her talk about you that way. You don’t deserve this”

“No I don’t but —“

“Y/N” Lucy begs you to let her fight you case.

“Walk away Lucy”

A stare down takes place between you and Lucy. A few seconds later the defender grabs her stuff and leaves the room. To everyone else you are calm and collected but Keira recognises the look in your eye, you are furious.

“I want everyone to listen to me and listen good. My past is none of your business. To those who have let the obsession go, thank you. To those that haven’t” you look Alexia dead in the eye “I want nothing to do with you. I will remain civil on the pitch. Other than that I ask you to stay away from me. That’s if you can respect my wishes. I know it has been hard so far”

You quietly gather your things and try to ignore the multiple sets of eyes on you. With each second you can feel your chest getting tighter and you know it is only a matter second before you will no longer be able to control your breathing. You just needed to get out of there, away from prying eyes.

The hallway is the furthest you get. Your mind was filled of flashbacks, the moments that you tried so hard to bury. The past was not a pretty place, not the last year, but you know that it was only a matter of time before it came crashing down on you.

“Y/N, are you ok?” Mapi and Ingrid are by your side, clearly the couple had left just after you.

“Natalia, she, she”

Ingrid and Mapi shared a look, who was Natalia? They had never heard you mention a Natalia before. Both of them didn’t know what to do. Whilst you had become friends with the pair, they didn’t know you well enough to cope with this moment.

Luckily for them Keira appears out of nowhere. The English woman clearly equipped with what to do.

“Get Lucy, now!” She whisper shouted and Ingrid goes running hoping to catch the defender before she leaves.

“Keira—Natalia”

“I know, I know. We can talk about her later if you want. Right now, I need to focus on me. Can you do that?”

You nod your head as tears flow down your cheeks.

“What happened?” Lucy rushes over to you.

“We found her on the floor. She kept talking about Natalia”

“She told you?” Lucy asks shocked. She knew you wasn’t ready to tell them team but in a state of panic you might be let it slip.

“No. She only said her name” Mapi says. She couldn’t take her eyes off you. This wasn’t a panic attack, no she had seen one of those before. This was something much more intense.

A few minutes pass and Keira manages to keep your breathing under control but you’re still not ready to move. Lucy, Mapi and Ingrid stay close making sure to tell anyone who passes to keep moving.

“What is going on?” Alexia asks with concern, a concern that doesn’t reach Lucy in fact her asking is the worst thing she could have done.

“Get away from her” Lucy is up on her feet and pushing Alexia backwards. She would has fallen to the floor if not for the wall behind her “This is all your fault. You see this, you see her, this is what you have done to her”

“Lucy” you reach up and take her hand. The defender used her strength to pull you up.

You, Lucy, Keira, Mapi and Ingrid walk towards the exit of the stadium.

“Y/N” Alexia’s voice is soft and it is only now that she realises she might have taken things too far.

You turn around to face the Catalonian. For the first time since arriving you make no effort to hide the pain you have felt on a daily basis.

“I want nothing to do with you Alexia”

A week had passed and Alexia started to worry about you more so than she wanted to let on. Lucy and Keira were visibly worried about you and kept an eye on you at all times. She was confused at how things got this bad. Yes, she knew that maybe things had been taken too far but you didn’t show rage, your energy radiated nothing. You were numb. The Barcelona captain had no idea how to make things right with you.

You wore a smile on your face in front of the cameras and fans but behind closed doors it’s liked you switched your emotions off. Alexia asked Mapi about you but it seemed that even her closest friend was on your side. The zaragozian and her girlfriend had become close with you since the incident and Alexia didn’t understand why.

One night she found herself knocking on Mapi’s door hoping to find out how things got so bad.

When the captain was let in there is an evident scowl on Ingrid’s face which Alexia did not expect. The Norwegian excuses herself stating that she needed to go to the supermarket.

“Mentiroso” Alexia says to herself.

“Watch it Alexia. She has her reasons” Mapi jumped to her girlfriend’s defence.

Mapi leads Alexia over to the kitchen table and gets a glass of water for the two of them.

“You’re here about Y/N, aren’t you?” her captain nods “I don’t know what to tell you. What happened in the locker room was bad Ale. We didn’t leave the stadium when you thought we did. Y/N used everything in her to make sure Lucy didn’t do something she would regret. I don’t know what happened during those months but whatever we think it is, it’s so much worse. I shouldn’t be telling you this but she kept mentioning Natalia, I don’t know who that is but I think something happened to her”

Alexia thought she felt guilty about the way things went down with the two of you but that failed in comparison to how she was feeling now. To think that you were grieving someone and her questions were it worse for you, well it made her feel ashamed.

She knew that she hadn’t been the most welcoming. Yes, you and her got a long on the pitch and yes, you were ok at training but she hadn’t made the effort she should have to make you feel at home in Barcelona.

“I don’t know how to fix it Mapi. You know I like her, I think she is amazing—“

“You were her biggest fan” the blonde teased

“But what if I’ve ruined any chance for being friends with her? What if what I’ve done is undoable?” Alexia ignores Mapi comment seen as though she knows she cannot deny it.

Mapi was at a loss for words. She always has had her friend’s back but there was something about you which made her want to protect you and Alexia was someone that you needed protection from.

“You need to give her space Alexia. This week alone I have seen you walk towards her then walk away at least 6 times. Y/N even asked me why you were doing it. You’re making the girl feel uncomfortable”

Alexia mentally scolded herself for her behaviour which in her defence she did not think anyone noticed.

“So space?” Alexia asks.

“Space” Mapi confirmed.

Alexia found it hard at first because she wanted nothing more than to make things right with you but she did as suggested, she gave you space. She saw you start to come out of your shell a bit more as December rolled on. The day game before the Christmas break you were playing in Madrid and that is when Alexia heard you discussing your winter plans with Keira.

“Keira, that’s a sweet offer but I’m sure. I’m going to stay in Barcelona, it is my home now”

The Catalonian took a little comfort in knowing you had grown the love her city despite the hostile behaviour.

“Y/N, it’s Christmas. She would want you to be home for that” your friend asked.

“I don’t know if I can handle going back for Christmas. It would hurt too much”

It felt wrong for Alexia to eavesdrop on your conversation so she leaves out of respect.

“She wouldn’t want you to avoid England. The two of you spent years in France and both of you said coming home to England was your favourite thing to do”

“Keira, stop. It was our favourite thing. There is no more our, no us. It’s just me”

Keira could see your hands shaking. This is the first sign of your panic attack so she drops the subject. She does suggest you going away with them for new years and you said you would as long as it isn’t in the UK or France.

The team had one last recovery session before the winter break and it’s safe to say when it was done everyone was more than happy to go home. You wished everyone a Merry Christmas and without knowing it, Alexia is included.

“Feliz Navidad Alexia, por tu y tu familia”

“Gracias Y/N”

To Alexia this was a gift in itself. Maybe you were opening up to idea of forgiving her. After that you quickly grab your stuff and run off to where Ingrid was waiting for you.

After that interaction, Alexia couldn’t stop thinking about you. She also thought she was hallucinating when she saw your name appear on her phone screen. In the rush of leaving the training facility you picked up the wrong bag, only realising when got home a few hours later and your shirt had an 11 on instead of a 7. You texted Alexia asking if you could meet up to get your stuff back. Alexia, at that point was already at her mother’s house so she sent you that address and told her mum that you were coming over.

You tried to ease your nervous as you drove to your captain’s mother’s house. It was going to be awkward, this much you knew but regardless of the place you and Alexia were in, you wanted to make a good impression on her family.

The knock was gentle as you stop on the door step.

“Y/N, hola. Adelante”

You didn’t know that word meant but you put two and two together and guessing in meant come in so that is what you did. Eli leads you to the living room after telling Alba to go get her sister. Eli headed back into the kitchen and left you in the living room. You didn’t want to take a seat, it wasn’t that kind of visit so you looked around and a wall of photos gains your attention.

Alexia couldn’t have been more than 7 years old. She was adorable. Next to her stood her younger sister and behind her, her parents. You didn’t recognise the man so you assume Alexia’s father works away a lot as you have never seen him at a game.

“That’s Jaume, Alexia and Alba’s father” Your cheeks flush in embarrassment at being caught stooping.

“And your husband” you turn to face the woman “I haven’t seen him around, does he work in a different city?”

“Jaume passed away a little over ten years ago”

She is a widow, like you. That is the first thing you thought. In that moment you had so many questions for her but this is a woman you had only just met. It’s not exactly the small talk she would be expecting. The two of you go quiet and you guess she is thinking about her lost love, just as you are thinking about yours.

Alexia comes downstairs, your bag in hand but stops at the door was upon seeing you in conversation with her mother. Alba nudges her forward but she doesn’t move. The two of them watch you.

“Does it ever get easier?” The question was out of your mouth before you could stop it.

The two sisters share a look. They had no idea what you were talking about and by their mother’s response, she didn’t either.

“Que?” As expected, the question catches Eli off guard.

“Living without the person who promised you forever” you turn to face the older woman with tears falling down your cheek.

“Oh Querida, come here”

You feel comfort in her arms and for a brief few seconds you forget that she is a stranger. In this moment she is someone who understands your pain and that is more than enough for you. When you pull away you see Alexia and Alba, you feel extremely exposed.

“Hi. You must be Alba” you wipe the last of your tears and extend your hand towards the younger Putellas.

She swats away your hand and pulls you into a hug.

“So formal” Alba laughs “you’re even hotter in person”

“Alba!” Both Eli and Alexia scold her.

“What? I’m being honest”

“Thank you, I think. Is that mine?” You point the bad Alexia is holding.

“Yes. Sorry for the mix up”

“No, no. It was my fault. I was running late for dinner with Ingrid. I left yours in the hall as I wasn’t sure where to put it”

Alexia stared at you almost as if frozen in place.

“Was I not suppose to do that? I can go get it for you”

“This is the most you’ve spoken to me since joining” Alexia was honest with what she was thinking.

“It must be the Christmas air” you laugh a little “speaking of, you three clearly have plans so I will leave you be”

Eli tries to get you to stay but you can’t. The woman knew too much and even though shared the same pain, you knew it was only a matter of time before the pity eyes came. You also didn’t know how much the two sisters had heard.

Alexia asked and asked what the you and her mother were talking about but the woman refused to tell. The only answer Alexia got was to be careful with you and that not all is as it seems. It seemed to be enough for Alexia but she wasn’t giving up on you, not just yet.

She kept an eye on you over the Christmas break and just as you said you stayed in Barcelona. Alexia all but stalked your Instagram and even went as far as texting you some recommendations. You felt something towards the midfielder and it made you think that you might have been a little harsh on her. You made a mental reminder to speak to her once the break was over.

The first game back was away to Bilbao and it brought you the perfect opportunity to speak to Alexia as the two of you were roomed together. It was late by the time you got there so everyone went straight to their room.

“Oh Y/N I don’t know what happened” Alexia says as she swiped the room key.

“What are you — oh I see”

There was only one bed, albeit a large double bed.

You hadn’t shared a bed in almost a year and you wasn’t sure if you were ready for it. Now you had to find a way to explain this to Alexia.

“I’ll sleep on the floor” Alexia suggests and even though you weren’t ready, you also knew you wasn’t going to let her do that.

“Alexia you are one of the most important players on the team. I cannot let you sleep on the floor. Take the bed, I’ll take the floor”

“Y/N, you are important too. You are our highest goal scorer. I am taking the floor, don’t argue with your captain”

She refused to take no for an answer and you hated it. When you came out the shower Alexia was on the floor and it looked awful. It was almost funny and you couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Don’t say anything. Bed” Alexia laughed along with you.

The room was dark except from the street lights then peaked through the curtains. Sleep wasn’t coming easy to you and by the sounds of tossing and turning, Alexia was struggling too.

“Alexia, come sleep in the bed” The thought of having someone sleep next to you wasn’t something you necessarily wanted but Alexia sleeping on the floor wasn’t fair.

“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable”

There was something in her tone. She wasn’t talking about sharing the bed with a team mate, she was talking about sharing a bed in general.

“She told you” Eli had to have told alexia about your conversation.

“Who?” Alexia asked even though she knew you were talking about her mother.

“Your mother. She told you about what I said”

“I asked but she didn’t tell me anything. I’m sorry that something happened to your friend”

You sat up upon hearing her condolences.

“My friend. What are you talking about?”

Alexia, now sat up too, looked at you as if saying you know what I’m talking about.

“Natalia?”

She said her name. Nobody had said her name. They knew it would cause too much pain.

In that moment you are brought back to the last time someone said her name. It was the 5 November 2023 in a hospice not to far from your shared home in London. Natalia was the strongest woman you knew and no one would ever come close to her in your eyes. Yet just after Euros she told you that her time was coming, that the cancer was starting to win. You begged her to fight, you weren’t ready to lose her but you knew that you had been on borrowed time for many many years. The last person to say her name was a nurse as your wife took her final breath before she was called home.

“She was my wife” you could feel your nose twitch as a ball of emotion built in your throat. You knew the day was coming when you talked about her but you didn’t think it would come in Bilbao with Alexia now sitting at the foot of your bed.

The Catalonian knew she heard you correctly but she still sat in disbelief. She had no idea you were dating anyone let alone you were married. Alexia could do nothing but watch as you bury your head in your hand as your body racks with sobs. She wants to hug you, to hold you and to tell you to let it out but you weren’t that close.

When you aggressively wipe your eyes you notice Alexia looking prettified and you cannot help but burst of into a fit of giggles.

“I’m going to go get Lucy or Keira or anyone else who isn’t me” your captain panics and makes a bee line for the door. She is stopped in her tracks as your hand grabs her wrist.

“You don’t have to”

She didn’t believe you and that was made obvious as her eyes dart back and forward between you and the door.

“Isn’t this what you have been wanting? To know why I walked away” you pat the side of the bed next to you.

You saw the hesitation is Alexia’s eyes. In that moment she wanted to respect your boundaries and you appreciated that but for the first time in a while the thought of talking about Natalia didn’t make you feel like you would break.

Once she sat down you turn to face you and you saw the look many people had given you. She felt sorry for you.

“I didn’t know you were married”

“Not many people did. We never hid anything. If you look you’ll see her in a lot of photos, she always supported me” you get comfy knowing that this is going to be a long conversation “I’m a private person and all I ever wanted to do was protect her”

In that moment Alexia understood for she too was a private person. She knew that she was in the limelight but she still kept herself to herself off the pitch.

“How did she—“ Alexia stopped talking as soon as she realised what she was about to ask “sorry, I shouldn’t have said that”

“Leukemia” you closed your eyes, took a deep breath and counted to three “she first got it when she was six. We used to take the day off school to go to the hospital. She would call me her emotional support friend” you laugh as you remember the way she made you wear a badge “she won the battle only for it to come back when she was 16 then again at 28. The third battle was the hardest for her and it was the one she lost”

Alexia caught the way you couldn’t look at her whilst you talked about the hardest times of your wife’s life.

“She sounds like a strong woman”

“Oh she was the strongest. She went through so much yet you never would have known it. Natalia had this heart that was big enough to like up the whole world. I wouldn’t be where I am today without her. She supported me in the youths teams, was in the stands when I made my Arsenal debut and moved to France with me when I signed for Lyon. She said she’s followed me everywhere because she knew I’d be lost with her”

When Alexia sees you laughing, she joins in too.

“Things got bad just before the euros. I was so close to withdrawing but she begged me to go. She wanted to see me lift that trophy and I did, I did it for her. I didn’t know how bad it was until afterwards and I made the decision to be by her side. We did all the things on her bucket list. A couple of months later she couldn’t fight it anymore. Her strength was gone and the light was barely there. I was able to be by her side as she took her last breath”

Alexia didn’t stop you as you got off the bed and made your way towards the window. She could tell by the way your hand went straight to your face that you were crying.

“You wanted to know why I walked about?” You turned to face her and in that moment, knowing what she did, Alexia felt guilty. Guilty for reminding you of the loss you had suffered.

“I walked away because I didn’t feel like I had a purpose. For so many years I played for her. I scored to see a smile on her face and I won my trophies so that I can give her my medals. I couldn’t return to Lyon without her and it felt wrong being in England”

“Y/N I’m —“

“Don’t tell me you’re sorry. You didn’t kill her, the cancer did”

You hated it when people told you they were sorry for your loss. Why? Why are they sorry? You heard it so many times that it made you numb.

Alexia could tell that you were feeling a lot right now. She wanted to be there if you wanted to talk more about Natalia but she also knew the importance of changing the subject when it’s needed.

“Can I ask you a question?” She looked at you with a sincere gaze.

“You can. Is it about Na—“

Alexia shakes her head.

“Why Barcelona?”

It is a question that she had been desperate to know. You have now told her why you weren’t ready to go back to Lyon but plenty of teams would have offered you a contract if you announced your return.

“I said it wasn’t about her but turns out it was. Talia loved Spain and Barcelona was her favourite place. I honestly thought I would retire at Lyon but she always said that if she could pick a team I play for them she would choose Barcelona. When I decided to come back, it felt right to sign for Barcelona. Also, Lucy and Keira are here. As you have seen, I have depended on them quite a bit and I knew that it wouldn’t be easy so having someone who knew made everything easier”

You could see Alexia processing what you had told her.

“I’m happy you don’t play for Lyon anymore”

“Yeah, you might be able to beat them now”

Alexia stared you down and you wondered what her next move would be. Turns out you didn’t have to wait long because a pillow soon smacked you in the face.

You both burst into laughter when the pillow fight turns competitive.

“We really should be getting some sleep” Alexia says as she stands.

You took a second to think.

“You can sleep in the bed Alexia. I won’t freak out you know”

“Y/N I can’t. Not now”

“Oh stop. I’m not some fragile little doll that will break if she shares a bed with someone. Now get in bed”

You pull the duvet back and pat the bed. It is only when Alexia gets in that you realise she is on your side and you are on Talia’s.

“You know this is my side of the bed” Alexia says as she gets comfy.

You had your reasons for sleeping on that side. You want to be closest to the door in case someone broke in. You wonder if Alexia has a reason.

“Got to make sure no one comes in and kidnaps you. Buenas noches Y/N”

You fall asleep that night with ease. You no longer feel the weight of keeping your emotions at bay and having Alexia knowing the truth makes you feel at ease around her for the first time since you joined the club.

From that day on things were different between you and Alexia. You found yourself spending more time with her than you did with Lucy and Keira. The two of them found it strange but didn’t question it. Whilst the defender was still very much protective over you, she did see a change in her captain which lead to her giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Life in Barcelona was finally what you imagined. Even in January the sun was shining and the sky was blue, unlike the weather you have been used to. The pain in your heart was still there but for the first time in a long whilst you felt happy or at least the closest thing to it that you could feel. Alexia has invited you to family dinner which happened after every other home game. Her mother and sister made you feel welcome. You had become rather close with Eli as she would often reach out to talk to you and check in with you. She didn’t need to say much, the fact that she could understand was more than enough.

Alba was quite the character and there was never a dull moment with her. She would relentless tease her sister and it had you holding stomach with laughter.

You had received some calls that made you think about a few things. You thought about talking to Lucy and Keira about it but you knew their decision would be biased so you confided in Alexia one night as the two of you walked Nala along Barceloneta. She helped you work though the feelings that the question brought up and by the the time you arrived back to your apartment, which you learnt was in the building opposite to hers, you knew what your decision would be.

During the game against Atleti there was a certain Dutchwoman in attendance. It was the second to last game before the Nations league semi final, a game that England has got to by the skin of their teeth. Barcelona came away with a 2-0 win and a lot of the players stayed out on the pitch afterwards to greet the fans that came to support them.

Sarina stood near the locker room and praised the team as they entered.

“Are you here for Lucy and Keira?” Aitana asked as she walked down the hall.

Behind her walked the two English women, along with Alexia. The latter knew to expect her, it made sense for her to come see you in person. The other two clearly had no idea that their national team coach was coming.

“She isn’t here for them”

Alexia’s words cause Lucy and Keira’s heads to turn in surprise.

“Y/N’s still out on the pitch. She is playing with Irene’s son Matteo, shall I go get her?”

“No, I can wait”

Just as three of them were about to enter they hear your voice followed by a child’s laughter. You walked down the tunnel with Irene and her little boy. Sarina saw just how happy you were and for a brief moment she regretted coming. She questioned whether or not this is what is best for you.

“Gaffa” you saw the look on your team mates faces and chuckled. Surely they knew it was only a matter of time before Sarina came knocking “Let me get showered quickly and we will go”

“But we’re going out tonight. It’s team night” Aitana sulked.

“I’ll meet you guys there”

Alexia and you shared a look. She knew what this conversation was going to be about and she was pretty sure she knew what the outcome would be and she was worried. You squeezed her shoulder and smiled before going into the locker room.

It was over 3 hours later that you finally enter the restaurant that the team were eating at.

All heads turned to you as you walked through the door. The seat reserved for you happened to be next to Alexia which you don’t think was an accident. Lucy and Keira were sat opposite you and you see the look of suspense in their eyes. They hadn’t officially been told what you and Sarina were talking about but they had very good guesses.

The rest of the team were having their own conversations and you didn’t want to make a scene so you nodded your head and that was enough confirmation for them.

“Yes!!” Lucy stood up suddenly and slammed her hands on the table.

“Holy fuck. Lucia, sit down”

Lucy does as her told.

“Our captain is back” Keira said to herself.

You tried your best to include yourself in the conversations around you but your mind kept wandering. You found yourself staring off into the distance. It is only when you feel a gentle hand on your thigh do you realise just how spaced out you were.

“Is everything ok? Did your coach say something because if she did then—“

“Stand down Ale” Alexia’s eye soften at the nickname. It wasn’t a new one for her but you had only just started calling her it and she loved it “I’m just thinking is all. What if I’m not good enough? What if I don’t have a place in that team anymore?” You lean into her and whisper.

“Y/N, they are your team. Yes you took some time away but you lead them for a long time and you told me they knew your reasons. It might take some time to get back into things but you will soon be back to how you were before. Besides if things go well for both of us then we will have a World Cup rematch on our hands and I want to see what might have happened if you played in the summer”

Oh you didn’t think about that. You hadn’t given your upcoming opponents a second thought. Alexia was right. If England beat France then they will face Spain in the national league final.

You thought there might be some awkwardness when you walked through the doors at the England camp but you couldn’t have been more wrong. Each player welcomed you with open arms and the players that you didn’t know as much treated you like everyone else did.

There were a few moments when you got pulled aside by Sarina for what she called her mental health checks. She promised that nothing said between you would be told to anyone else and you chose to believe her. You were honest about how heavy the shirt felt when it had the England badge on and you told her of the nerves you were feeling about playing for your country again.

Alexia had kept texting you to check in and for the most part you told her the truth. It was the day before the match when you got overwhelmed and instead of lying, you chose to ignore her. You knew it wasn’t fair but wanted to stay focused. You could bury your feelings for 24 hours. Alexia on the other had wasn’t going to give up on you.

“Alexia” Jenni nudged her friends leg “Earth to Alexia”

The woman in question had her eyes glued to the her phone as you sent you yet another message.

“What do you want!” Alexia snaps.

“Hey, don’t snap at me. Who you texting? Is it a girl?” Jenni peaked over her shoulder.

“No” Alexia pulled her phone closer to her chest “It’s Y/N”

“Y/N Y/L/N is a girl last time I checked” Jenni couldn’t help but tease.

“She but I don’t like her like that, well I do. Wait! I don’t” Alexia slumps down in her seat “Oh Jenni, I don’t know how I feel”

Jenni hasn’t seen her friend like this in a long while. Normally Alexia knows what wants and isn’t afraid to go for it. This though is different. It’s almost like she knows what she wants but she is hesitating and Alexia doesn’t hesitate.

“It’s ok not to know but something is clearly bothering you. What is it?”

“She is ignoring me”

“Last time I saw you you told me she didn’t want anything to do with you”

So much had changed since then and she didn’t know how to explain it. In the end she told her everything she could without going into the finer details. Alexia confesses her feelings and explains that she cannot get a hold of you and that none on your team mates were answering either.

“Alexia, I may not know why she stopped playing football but I saw the way she played, she loves the sport. Her playing for England again is a big deal. Everyone is talking about her press conference she did this morning, it’s all over social media”

Alexia wasn’t aware of a press conference. She never goes on social media the day before a match because it is quite often a distraction. Jenni picks up on her friend’s obliviousness and gives alexia her phone so she can see what is being said.

Jenni was right. You are everywhere.

Y/N Y/L/N makes her return but what does it mean? Why now?

Sarina Weigman confirm Y/N is the captain of this team despite turning her back on them.

Beth Mead ruled out for Semi final, should be back for final if England are successful.

World Cup rematch? Y/N says that Spain wouldn’t have won if she was playing.

Alexia read headline after headline, article after article. She was beginning to feel overwhelmed so she couldn’t imagine what you must have been feeling. The last headline made the Catalonian laugh because she too had thought about what the outcome might have been if you were playing.

“I think the last one is a stretch” Jenni mumbles.

“We will never know” Alexia is ever more determined to get a hold of you. Just as she was about to call you again, a message comes through.

Hi. Sorry I haven’t been around, it’s been a lot. Thank you for checking in on me Alexia, I promise you I’m ok. Good luck in your match tomorrow.

“She’s ok” Alexia tells Jenni as if the forward was the one who was worried about you.

The next day you wake up and are ridden with nerves. It’s not a familiar feeling and you know that you need to calm down before the game or things will end badly.

Despite protests from your team mates, you will start the game on the bench. It’s the right decision and you make sure to tell Sarina just that. Whilst the team’s recent performances have been spotty to say the least, you refuse to walk back in like nothing had changed. You know you need to earn your place on the pitch with the lionesses.

Spain’s game has an early kick off and finishes just after yours starts. The team get back to the hotel and have organised to watch it the hotel bar. Much to Alexia’s dismay she is called for Media seen as though Spain won and have qualified for the Olympics.

When she finally joins the team she knows that the first half is over but that’s it.

“What’s the score?” She asks anyone who is listening.

“2–0” Ona says.

“That’s—“ Alexia is cut off before she can finish her sentence.

“To Germany” Jenni knows that Alexia would have wanted England to win if for no other reason than you “Y/N is going on for Toone”

She cannot help the smile that tugs at her lips as your number goes on the subs board.

The world watches as Mary runs over to you and gives you the band.

“Welcome back skipper” Mary pushes the band up your arm before you can stop her because she know’s that is what you’ll do. She was there in the captain’s meeting when you told Sarina that you didn’t deserve the captaincy.

“Game on, Maz”

It felt right being on the pitch and wearing the three lions crest. You allow yourself to take in your return but only for a couple of seconds before you turn your attention to the game and the challenge that you face. 3 goals was a lot to ask for when Germany are playing as good as they are. It wouldn’t be easy and it would take everything you had but you never shied away from a challenge and you wasn’t about to start now.

After about ten minutes you found your rhythm and England were playing the type of football they are known for. It doesn’t take long for LJ to make a run and dance around the opposition. You have faith in her but follow her anyways in case she loses the ball. She doesn’t but Frohms does save her shot, she doesn’t save your rebound though.

“Get the ball” You shout to the Chelsea player.

When the match restarts, the lionesses are on the hunt. Shot after shot is taken but somehow the ball stays out the net. England get a corner in the 80 minute and you’re lurking on the edge of the box, ready to make your run. Popp is the one marking you because she has studied you new way of play since joining Barcelona. Chloe’s corner is pin point and no amount of research in the world could stop you from getting the second goal and tying the game.

Alexia finds herself up on her feet with Ona and a couple of your team mates when you get your brace.

“Vamos Y/N” she says.

“You do realise that we will face them if they win” Misa reminds her.

“Right now, I don’t care. She deserves this and I’m celebrating my team mate” Alexia didn’t care if she might face you in the final.

“She told you” Aitana whispers as she pulls her captain down to the sofa “That is why she doesn’t hate you anymore and why you’ve stopped interrogating her”

Alexia does nothing but nod. Her fellow midfielder didn’t need to know anything else and she doesn’t ask for it either. She accepts that the reason must be valid if Alexia has dropped her questions.

There are 4 minutes announced of stoppage time.

When you look up the the score board and see the number you get flashbacks on the euros final. You have been in this position before and came out victorious. Today was going to be no different.

It was huge mistake by Germany when Gwinn takes down Hemp about a meter outside the box.

In the past you have found yourself stood over the ball with Beth but this game it’s Alex who stands beside you.

With her hand over her mouth she gives you strict instructions.

“You’re taking it”

It’s not a question and you don’t argue.

“You have saved us tonight, now get your hattrick”

The amount of faith Alex had in you did wonders but it didn’t settle every nerve running through your body. Free kicks were your specialty, this wasn’t nothing new and the pressure was a familiar feeling.

As soon as you strike the ball you know it’s going in. It’s a hard feeling to describe but many call it shooters instinct, it had never been wrong and it wasn’t now. The ball floated over the wall and went in the further part of the top corner. The shot was unsaveable. You ran over to the bench, more specifically to Sarina, to celebrate with the woman who gave you space and welcomed you back with open arms.

“It’s like you never left”

Her words caught you off guard. For a brief moment you agreed with her but you got hit by the feeling of grief, you looked towards the family section and there was no one supporting you. Maybe some things hadn’t changed but a lot certainly has. When the full time whistle was blown your team mates ran towards you, all of the congratulating you on your performance and your first game back.

It was a weird kind of celebrations that night. The team was split, half wanted to celebrate getting through the final and the other half knew the job wasn’t done, they knew that the biggest task was yet to be faced. Spain had beaten them before and on the greatest stage, the UEFA national league final could either repeat history and England could rewrite it.

The team travelled to Madrid that night, only hours after the game. Upon arrival almost everyone went to their rooms but not you. You knew sleep wouldn’t come easy so you decided to wander the streets of Madrid. It had become a habit of yours, you would walk around and people watch. Every human had their own story to tell and it made you forget about yours.

You had no destination planned yet you found yourself stopping outside a hotel, the one you know from your text messages with Alexia, was the one the Spain team was staying at.

A lot of feelings were running through you and you saw this as the universe’s sign that maybe you should talk about them. You have confided in Alexia since Sarina first reached out to you, she knew more than anyone how you really felt about returning and you talked about this very moment, the hours after your first game when the past is very much present in your mind. You remember the words she told you ‘when that happens you call me’ so that is what you do or at least that is what you go to do.

“Y/N” you hear a familiar voice say. You turn to see Jenni, Irene, Laia and Misa walking towards you.

“Hi guys” your voice is quiet, shy almost and you cannot help the way your eyes scan for Alexia knowing full well that these are the people she spends the most time with.

“What are you doing here?” Misa asks you. The two of you hadn’t formally been introduced but you had scored a brace against her in the El Classico.

“I’m—“

“Here for Alexia” Jenni says with a knowing look and you cannot help but feel like she knows something you don’t.

You can only nod. Apart from Irene, you didn’t know these girls very well and the version of yourself that you show to strangers is very different to the one that your friends see.

‘I can take you to her. We are roommates” Jenni seems sincere with her words but you feel a pang of jealousy. Everybody knew that the two of them used to date, it shouldn’t bother you, you had no right to be jealous yet that is exactly what you were feeling.

You think about it and Jenni can tell you are thinking about it.

“She hasn’t stopped talking about you and I know she will want to see you. She was your biggest fan when we watched the game” Jenni added hoping to create some sense of comfortability.

“She watched my game?” You asked in disbelief. You thought you had no one but maybe you did, maybe Alexia was the someone that was cheering you on but instead of the family area she was cheering you on from the hotel you were currently standing outside of.

“She did. I think she forgot she was Spanish for a minute” Irene says which causes you to laugh.

“I doubt that but I appreciate the support. You know I shouldn’t be talking to you, you guys are the enemy now”

“Yet you came here for our captain, she will be your enemy too. Come on, I’ll take you to her. We wouldn’t want you to be spotted outside our hotel, just think of the optics” Jenni once again says.

“Ok” you nod your head a few times to solidify your answer.

The girls lead you through the hotel but only Jenni and Irene stay with you, Misa and Laia walk ahead. The longer you walk the more you begin wondering if this was a good idea. What if you are overstepping your boundaries. You had no right to be here and could easily be turned away at any point.

You enter the lounge area of the hotel which holds the majority of the Spanish national team yet your eyes search for only one. She see’s you before you see her and is walking over to you with a worried look on her face.

“Estas bien? What are you doing here?” Alexia’s arm rests on your shoulder.

“It was an accident. I was out for a walk and I ended up here” you explained.

“She was asking for you” Jenni says even though technically it wasn’t true. In her eyes she wanted to play matchmaker after it was made evidently clear that Alexia was hesitant to peruse things with you even though she had feelings for you.

“Is this true?” Alexia asks and you nod.

“We won, I returned, I scored, wore the armband and I didn’t have anyone is stands” you whispered so only she could hear you.

The look in your eyes changed. For the first time that night you showed your true emotions. Alexia didn’t need to hear anything else. She grabbed your hand and escorted you to the outdoor seating area. She sat down whilst your paced the patio.

“Y/N, come sit down” Alexia pats the seat next to her and you comply “Are you ok, really? What made you come here to me?”

“I’m not ok but I’m more ok than I thought I would be. It’s been quite a day, that game was —“

“Incredible. You changed the entire play”

“It felt right. I belong on the pitch with the girls, I should never have left” You didn’t register that you felt guilty about your absence until you said the words out loud to Alexia.

“You needed to. You had to process your loss and you returned when you were ready”

Alexia was very understanding, you had to give her that.

“That answers my first question but the second” the Catalonian didn’t want to push but there had to be a reason and until she heard the truth she was filled with worry. You had been walking the streets of Madrid, alone, at almost midnight.

“Why am I here?” You repeated it. Maybe you hoped that hearing the question again would help you figure out an answer, it did “I wanted to celebrate…….with you. I was surrounded by my team, people I consider family yet you were the one I wanted to call and tell about the game”

You dipped your head when you felt yourself getting emotional. You were suppose to be happy but with everything you were feeling you were overwhelmed. On top of what you were feeling you couldn’t ignore the way your heart beat twice as fast because Alexia was sat opposite you with her hand now resting on your thigh.

When you looked up Alexia noticed the the tears in your eyes and was quick to wipe away one when it fell.

“I shouldn’t be feeling this way Alexia, it is wrong” you met her eye as you made your version of a confession.

“You can be happy about playing football again Y/N. Natalia would have wanted you to be”

“Don’t say her name, not now” you shook your head and Alexia’s hand fell back to its prior place on your thigh.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep. I can give you space if that what you need” the blonde stands, ready to leave you be but you grab her hand and pull her back down.

“I don’t want space and that is the problem. I wasn’t talking about the game Alexia. I shouldn’t be feeling this way about you” you shook your head in disbelief. You were sure that your shot of happiness died with your wife but you have developed feelings for Alexia and could no longer deny it.

“Y/N” Alexia cupped your face so that you would look at her but when you did, her hand didn’t move.

“Ale” you melted into her touch. That very touch gave you butterflies and you enjoyed the act of intimacy.

The two of you went silent but each of your thoughts were very loud. Alexia glanced at your lips, you knew what she was about to do and you didn’t stop her. Maybe you should have, maybe you should have pulled away but you didn’t. You didn’t move when her lips hovered centimetres from your own, you let her kiss you. You froze in the moment, like a deer in headlights. It was only when you closed your eyes did you realise what was happening. The kiss felt like you were cheating, it felt wrong yet felt so right.

“You shouldn’t have done that. We can’t do this. It was wrong” you pushed Alexia away and stood up hastily.

You stormed away before Alexia had the chance to speak. All eyes were on you as you walked through the sea of Spanish players. Their eyes went from you and then to Alexia who was running through, trying to catch up to you. She was hot on your heels until you turned to face her. She waited a couple of seconds before taking steps towards you.

“Stop” you say but she doesn’t “No!” you held you arm out to further imply your seriousness.

After that she can do nothing else but watch you walk away from her. Her hazel eyes stayed on you until you were out the lobby doors and onto the streets of the Spanish capital.

Alexia was frozen in place. She has ruined everything by rushing but she felt something when she touched you, she felt a spark and that wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t feel the same thing she did. You told her that had feelings for her, you came all this way to see her. Those things meant something but maybe she had read it wrong, maybe it had all been in her head.

“Alexia, are you ok? You’re crying” Irene appeared in front of her. The woman in question was quick to wipe her eyes in hope that no one else would see her tears.

“I’m fine. It’s getting late, everyone should go to their rooms. We have a final to prepare for and we need to be at our best” Alexia walked away.

The two of you were very quiet in the upcoming days and were laser focused on the task at hand. Beat the opposing team and being the first even UEFA Nations League champions. Both of your team mates could tell something was wrong but they didn’t know what to do. Your team mates wasn’t aware of your late night adventures until Aitana texted Keira to ask if you were ok and told her that Alexia wasn’t after you showed up at their hotel. The English midfielder kept this to herself given that Lucy has only just got started talking to Alexia and there were a few players on the team who’s protectiveness could rival the defenders.

By the time the day of the final came around there was plenty of reason for concern but both teams knew that this is what you had been working towards. Yes, a trophy was on the line but it was the previous trophy that was the topic of conversation.

The first time Alexia saw you was when they arrived for the pitch inspection. You were near the goal with LJ, it has become a new pre match routine for the two of you. Well you did it the game a couple of days ago and you won that so the two of you gravitated towards the goal today.

Alexia wanted to go to you and that is what she was going to do until she felt a hand grab her wrist.

“Alexia”

She turned to face Keira.

“Leave her be”

“I didn’t mean to upset her. We were talking about feelings and then I kissed her, I couldn’t help it. It felt right in the moment” Alexia couldn’t stop talking. It’s like was making a confession and Keira would be the one deciding whether or not it was a sin.

Meanwhile the English midfielder couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Sure she had suspected something was going on between the two of you but she also had a strong sense that you wasn’t ready for anything knew. In her eyes you were still healing.

“You kissed her?” Keira whispered as not to bring attention to their conversation.

Alexia was about to explain further but Keira stopped her as she sure her other team mate coming towards them.

“Lucy is coming. I will talk to you about this later”

It was as if Keira flipped a switch. Her look of concern was replaced with a smile and she even put on a fake laugh so Lucy wouldn’t arrive to an awkward silence. Soon enough it was a gathering of Barcelona players yet Alexia could stay focused on what her friends were saying for you were beginning to walk towards her.

In your eyes you wanted to talk to Alexia and you knew you needed to. The other night was a lot for you to process but you did owe her an explanation for leaving, that much you did know. She looked good as you watched her enter the pitch. You let your eyes linger in the most discreet way possible.

“You and Putellas?” LJ asked you. She wasn’t aware of what happened, nor did she know you were married. In her eyes, you were hiding something and she wasn’t wrong.

“We are friends…..I think. It’s complicated” you admitted knowing that Lauren wouldn’t push you further.

“Uncomplicate it” she suggested.

“If only it was that easy. Let’s head in and get ready”

You felt the change in heartbeat again as you got closer to where Alexia was standing. Your head might have been all over the place but you heart was being very clear in what it wanted only you weren’t ready to admit it.

“Y/N” Alexia shouted to you as you walked past her.

“Hi” for whatever reason, you pulled her into a hug “Good luck today, you’re going to need it”

You both started laughing at the quick change of energy.

“I don’t think it’s us that need luck. We beat you in the summer” Alexia was cocky but she wasn’t confident.

“You didn’t beat me though” you couldn’t help but smile at her.

Your smile was genuine and that is something Alexia took great hope in seeing. Maybe you weren’t mad at her, maybe you just needed a little space.

What you said next doubled that hope.

“Come find me after the game”

Then just as quick as the hope was there, it wasn’t.

“We need to talk”

Those 4 words struck fear in Alexia but she didn’t have the chance to say anything because you were already down the tunnel by the time she came to her senses.

Your was brought up several times in the Spanish locker room and each time all eyes fell to Alexia for she is the one that knew you most. She had learnt how you think, what plays you are going to make before you make them. In her team’s eyes she knew how to stop you. Only it wasn’t that easy. Alexia did knew how you play but that style changes when you are hungry, like you have a point to prove and this game brought both of those things.

“Stop focusing on Y/N! If you focus on how to stop her then you’ve already lost. Focus on stopping her from getting the ball” That is the last thing she said before heading out into the tunnel.

The lionesses were waiting for her, she expected it. It was an intimidation tactic. You weren’t there and that was a surprise, she would have bet good money that you would be in the starting 11. Mary stood opposite her and smirked when she saw the look of bewilderment on the opposing players face.

Alexia wanted to say something, she kept looking back at the team. If she was paying attention she would notice that there was only 10 players on the England side of the tunnel. With her eyes now facing forward she didn’t see you walking towards the front of the line. The sound of your cleats fell on deaf ears.

Her head shot to the side when she caught a glimpse of you standing next to her with the pendent in your hand.

“Capital Y/L/N, nice to see you back where you belong” Alexia covered her mouth, her being well aware that there were cameras on her.

You shake your head at her greeting.

“Captain Putellas. You’re going to wish I wasn’t” you had one last attempt to get in her head.

“No I won’t. Win or lose today, this is something the world, myself included, has been waiting for”

You thought you would get a smart remark not a reply that was genuine.

“Alexia”

“Y/N”

Those were the last words spoken except from a good look after the coin toss.

You called a huddle before everyone got into place. This game was important, not only because of the trophy on the line but it was the lionesses chance at redemption. To prove that it was only one game.

“I want you all to do something for me. Play for right now, not for the past. You cannot change what happened in the summer, no matter how hard you try. Winning today won’t get you the star on the shirt but it can be the reset you guys have been wanting. That loss has been haunting you, I can see it by the look on your faces and I promise you here today that if you play with revenge in your hearts then you will fail. Yes, this is Spain but we are England. We don’t stay down, we get up and fight. We stand together as a team, a pride. We go out there and leave everything on the pitch”

Each player is hooked on every word as you give Mary the signal.

“England on three”

You all come together one more time before getting in position.

Alexia tries to do the same by most of the team is watching you.

“She is going to make it hard” Olga tells her captain.

“She is going to make our lives hell for the next 90 minutes but that’s not to say we can’t give it back. Look at that star on your shirt, we got that by beating this team. Yes, Y/N wasn’t playing but she is one player. As good as she may be, we are better. You’ve seen what everyone is saying, they are calling our World Cup win a fluke, that we didn’t win but England lost. We may have qualified for the Olympics but our job is not done. We have a trophy to win. Vamos Espana”

Just like England did, Spain come together before readying themselves for the game.

The game which starts in the worst possible way for the away team. It seems the your players might be a bit more nervous that they are letting on. Inside the first 15 minutes Salma gets through on goal and sends Spain up 1-0. It wasn’t ideal but it didn’t mean the game was over either. You were playing safe, as a way to get the most out of the team around you. When the first half is done with you haven’t take a single shot on goal.

Spain entered the tunnel happy and England entered it less so.

The atmosphere was eerie in the locker room and you could see the self doubt radiating off your team mates.

Sarina takes the floor and explains all sorts of strategies but nobody is listening. They are in their own head.

“Do you mind?” You walk up to Sarina hoping to have a talk with your team. The coach happily steps aside.

“How many of you are thinking about the World Cup? Raise your hand” nobody does and you decide to call bullshit “You’re lying and I won’t have that. You are telling me none of you are out there thinking of the summer? the picture of them lifting the trophy that should have been yours?”

One by one players begin lifting their hands.

“I can stand here and say I haven’t been good enough. I need to be better and I will be better. In 45 minutes we will be crowned champions. The question is are we going to do it in style or are we going to make it harder for ourselves? We know what we need to do and we will do it”

You leave the locker room and go back out onto the pitch. You are the first one out there and you take a minute to look at the score board. 1-0. You hated to lose but more than that, you hated to let people down. You made the decision to come back and you didn’t do that to come second. You returned to be a champion and to make Natalia proud, you wasn’t doing to let her down. You had spent the past couple of days trying not to think about her and maybe that was the problem. She was your greatest strength, your biggest supporter and she may be no longer with you, you may be beginning to move on but that doesn’t mean you have to forget about her. No, you need to play for her just as you always did.

The first ten minutes of the second half it was like a different team was on the pitch. England were pushing and pressing and Spain were struggling. In the 67 minute was when the game was made even once again. You and hempo were tiring out the defence and it made them vulnerable. On one counter attack they couldn’t keep up. Irene was the only player standing between you and Cata but she could see Hempo running up beside you. She found herself in a lose lose situation so she stuck with you in hopes that the pressure would work, it didn’t. You pull her in just enough to give hempo enough space. At the last minute you passed to your left and she fired the ball into the back of the net.

Game on.

Spain were beginning to tire and the one touch football that was known around the world began to work in favour of England. They were unable to play out from the back because you, Alessia, Hempo and LJ was pressing the defence. It was mind play and it was working.

It was during a corner where things got interesting.

“Keep going!” You clapped your hands to rally the team “we are in their heads, now we end it”

“You’re not in our heads” Alexia says as she chooses to mark you. It was a tactic they hadn’t done yet, so far Jenni had marked you.

“Just you saying that is proof that we are but feel free to prove me wrong” you had a minute to talk as the ref walk talking to Lucy and Irene.

“I will. Let’s make it interesting. You score right now and I’ll buy you a drink later”

“So that means I’ll be taking the trophy and your money? Oh you’re on”

Alexia followed you are you walked around the box as you got into position. You would end up in one or two places; front post or in the middle. Never did she think you would make a run for the back post and swap positions will Lucy. The change caught Alexia out and when the ball hit the back of the neck she shook her head in defeat.

She had played right into your hands. You had pulled her in with your words and left her hanging when you celebrated what would go on to be the winning goal of the game.

You had to take a moment when the game was over. Everyone was celebrating but you and Lucy made the effort to congratulate your club team mates of a game well played.

“Ay, Capi. You’re predictable you know that?” Lucy threw her arms around the Catalonian.

“Lucy!” You slapped her on the back of the head “What she meant to say is you guys played a good game and that we will see you in Paris”

“We’ll see them in Barcelona” Lucy tried to correct you.

“I mean on the pitch as opponents, idiot”

Alexia was to focused on what the defender said first to hear the bickering that was now taking place between the two of you.

“What did she mean?” Alexia asked you.

Lucy gave you a look before leaving the two of you be.

“You once told me that in order to see yourself as the best, you had to beat the best. Tonight you wanted to beat me”

“No, I —“

“You did and that’s ok. I wanted to beat you too. It’s our competitive nature. That need you had allowed us a way in. I didn’t know it would come from a corner, only that in at least one part of the game you will stick to me just so you could say you got the upper hand”

“I should have dropped you off, let Irene pick you up and followed Lucy” Alexia understands the error she made.

“You should have but don’t beat yourself up about it. That wasn’t our first plan or second. Our plan was for Hempo to tire Ona out and for Lucy to get inside Olga’s head. Without those two things happening, we wouldn’t have got the corner in the way we did”

Alexia didn’t know whether to be pissed off or impressed that you read her and her team so well.

“You deserve the win today. Go celebrate with your team”

“I will but remember you owe me a drink. I’ll text you the address of wherever we go. Invite the girls too”

Alexia watched you walk away but there was one more thing she wanted to tell you only she feared it would do more damage than good. In the end she bite the bullet and ran to you.

“Y/N”

“Hi again” you laughed “Do you want another explanation of our strategy? We can always watch the game back when we in home in Barcelona”

Home in Barcelona. There is something about the way you said it that made alexia feel warm and fuzzy inside. She quickly shook her head to rid herself of those thoughts and the overthinking that came with them.

“I just want to say that Natalia would have been proud of you today. Not just today but the other game too. I know it’s not my place to say that because I didn’t know her but you should know that. You—“ Alexia began rambling.

“Breathe. Thank you for saying that. I know she is looking down on me right now with a huge smile on her face and truth is if I think about her too much then I think I might cry so I don’t want to go into that right now. Thank you though”

Alexia couldn’t help but feel like she shouldn’t have said that.

The ceremony went by in the blind of an eye. One minute you are waiting for Spain to collect their medals, the next you are raising the trophy with Mary. Back in the locker room you find yourself staring at the medal on your neck. Never in your professional career had one stayed on your neck for this long and never has the gold felt so heavy. It felt like it was weighing you down so you take it off and stuff it into your back. You would talk about that means with your therapist if you had one.

Later on in the night you found yourself at the hotel bar with the rest of the team celebrating. You tried your best to be happy and part of you truly was but you life off the field was becoming more complicated and hard to ignore.

“Excuse me” you tell the group that included Leah, Georgia, Keira and Lucy.

“Should we be concerned?” Georgia asks.

“Yes but let her have a moment. These past ten days have been a lot for her” Lucy tells her friend.

They watched as you paced back and forth on the balcony. To the English it was warm outside but there was still a chill in the air and you weren’t wearing a jacket. Keira kept looking at her watch asking herself how long is long enough before she goes out to you.

Some of the Spanish team arrive about an hour after the lionesses. Some of them go to the bar, some go to friend but Alexia, well she only had one interest and she couldn’t it or more specifically couldn’t find you. Her eyes scanned the room one, twice and third time. She had her phone out ready to call just as she sees you.

Leah catches her walking towards you and wants to stop her.

“What is she doing” The blonde asks defensively “Y/N doesn’t want anything to do with her”

The Arsenal player has heard about you bust up when Keira visiting England over Christmas.

“Things are different now but I’m not sure this is the right thing to do. Alexia!” Keira shouts her club captain over.

“Hola. Congratulations again. You guys sure know how to party” she tried to be polite even though she had no interest in a conversation with anyone who wasn’t you.

“Thank you” Leah seems genuine “Were you going to see Y/N?”

Alexia nods.

“That might not be the best idea right now. I think she needs a minute to herself. It’s been quite the day for her”

“I know. That’s why I want to talk to her” Alexia knew that you might be been struggling but to her that was all the more reason for her to talk to you.

“She won’t even wear her medal” Georgia adds earning her a shove. As far as the English players are aware, Alexia didn’t know anything.

“That isn’t surprising. Every tournament until this one she has given her medal to Natalia” Alexia says as if it is the most obvious thing but your friends didn’t put two and two together.

“Wait” Lucy says “She told you about her?” Again, Alexia nods.

“When? She hasn’t talked about her since she passed” the defender added.

“After Christmas” Alexia explains but goes no further.

“That’s why she went to you the other night but then you—“

“Keira, I won’t talk about that right now. I just want make sure she is ok and I can’t do that if I am being interrogated by you”

With that Alexia leaves your friends speechless and makes her way towards the balcony.

As quietly as possible, Alexia slides the door open and closes it behind her. She didn’t want to startle you so she watched from a distance. Your face wasn’t puffy so you hadn’t been crying but your posture was stiff so you were stressed.

“They’ve spent the past hour burning holes in the back of my head from their staring yet you have come straight out” you turn to see Alexia resting against the door.

“I owe you a drink and —”

“And yet your hands are empty” you point to Alexia’s hand which as you stated aren’t holding a drink “You can come closer you know. I’m not going to blow”

“I know it’s just that—“

“The last time we were along I ran away crying” you laugh as you think back to that night. Things were going really well until they wasn’t.

“Are you going to let me finish a sentence or are you going to keep talking for me?”

You mumble an apology and signal for her to continue.

“Your friends know I know and I accidentally told keira we kissed”

“Figures. She has been hovering”

The two of you go quiet. It’s not awkward, it’s comfortable but even then it’s not what either of you wanted.

“You said we needed to talk” Alexia didn’t want to push things and you had told her this before the game.

“We do. What happened the other night it—“

“Shouldn’t have happened”

“Who is finishing the other’s sentences now”

“Lo siento”

“As I was saying” you send her smirk so she knows she isn’t in trouble “The other night was very overwhelming for me, not because I didn’t like what happened but because I did. I told you that I had feelings and those feelings are for you Alexia. You make me feel things that I thought I’d never feel again. I promised my heart and love to her Alexia and to feel these things for someone else is like an act of betrayal. It feels wrong but I don’t want those feelings to stop. You kissed me and I knew it was going to happen yet I didn’t to stop it. I shouldn’t have ran away like that”

“It was a lot for you, I understand that” Alexia tried to reassure you that it was ok.

“It was but I should have stayed. You wanted to talk to me and I didn’t give you the opportunity. Just because I lost someone doesn’t mean that it’s only my feelings that matter. I’m sorry Alexia”

Alexia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Since you said the words ‘we need to talk’ she has been trying to think of all the things you could have said, an apology was not one of them.

“Can I say what I would have that night?” Alexia asks and you nods your head whilst closing the distance between you.

“Those feelings you talked about, I feel them too. Things changed between us after you told me and I couldn’t ignore it, trust me I tried. I was also aware of your loss and that this might not be something you are ready for so I talked to my mum one night. She is the only other person I know who has experienced the same loss you have. I told her that I had fallen for you and that I wanted to act on my feelings. You know what she told me? She told me that time heals all wounds but no amount of time is the same. If I wanted to prove to you that I truly liked you then I would need to take it slow so that is what I am willing to do. If you want to pursue this then we will take it slow, as slow as you need. You said it feels like an act of betrayal and I respect that. I won’t push you into anything you’re not ready for”

Alexia reached out for you and noticed once again tears were falling down your face.

“I have made you cry again. I shouldn’t have said anything. Y/N I am so sorry”

“Alexia, these aren’t sad tears” you reach for her hand “I can’t promise you that this will be easy. When Natalia died she took a lot of my heart with her and I don’t know how much is left but I want to share what I have left with you. Please be patient with me Alexia because I don’t know how to do this again. For most of my life it has been her and I but now I get the chance at happiness again, with you. We can take this slow?”

“We will go as slow are you want. I have nothing but time for you Y/N”

Alexia knew what to say and for the first time in a long time you found yourself leaning forward. Just as you were about to kiss her she moves and kisses your cheek.

“Slowly Y/N” Alexia winked causing you to chuckle “How about we go for dinner when we return to Barcelona?“

“I would really like that”

“Me too. Now if I remember correctly I owe you a drink” Alexia holds the door open so that you both can rejoin the party.

“That does seem to be the case. Make it a double. It’s not every day you pull one over on La Reina to score the winning goal” you shoved her playfully.

#woso x reader #woso imagine #woso one shot #alexia Putellas one shot #alexia Putellas imagine #alexia putellas x reader #barcelona femeni x reader #barcelona femeni imagine #barcelona femeni one shot #espwnt x reader #espwnt one shot #espwnt imagine

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carmenized-onions · 5 months

Text

Tony, Terry, Tommy? | Walk-In Hotfix

synopsis; You get an unexpected call from an old friend in need of an emergency repair. Good thing: that's kind of your whole gig. Bad thing: You've been avoiding the Berzatto family for the past year.

tasting notes; hurt comfort? idk man, he's in a fuckin' freezer. this is gonna be a long slow-burn series. We don't use Y/N here and we've got a very preestablished storyline going on babes. Eat up.

portion; 3.1k+

possible allergies; SEASON 2 FINALE SPOILERS, I've started writing this before Season 3 comes out in June so we're going WAY off canon (unless I'm an oracle), Mikey is gonna be central baby, any tw you require for the bear-- you require for this.

pairing; Carmen 'Carmy' Berzatto & Fem Reader (No pronouns!)

I have not written fanfiction in 5-6 years and once again some goddamn pretty boy just YOINKS me back in. I'm making up my own season three here so I'm kinda flying by the seat of my pants with this series, hopefully it turns out. If it doesn't... C'est la vie, I had fun.

The inciting incident, the thing that pulls you in, and permanently alters the trajectory of your life— Is honestly quite boring, because it’s just a phone call from an old friend.

You stare at your screen for what feels like eons but it’s really just a few rings. It’s enough time to frantically search through blankets on your couch for your remote to pause your show— Which might as well be like 10 years of time. You’re heavily debating not answering; what if it’s something heavy? What if a mutual childhood friend died? What if it’s a love or murder confession? What if it’s about the money you owe her? The money she owes you?

Do you really want to take that kind of call? On what’s been a peaceful Friday night? That’s a rarity in your part of Chicago, c’mon. If it’s important, she’ll leave a voicemail... Who are you kidding, she doesn’t leave voicemails— Frankly, it’s bizarre and concerning that she’s calling in the first place instead of spam texting. …Alright, she’s let it get to the fourth ring, she’s probably dead or dying. You need to pick up.

“…Syd?”

She sounds infinitely stressed, but relieved to hear your voice.“Hey, hey, uh—”

There’s a cacophony of yelling, banging, and what you imagine are kitchen noises in the background. Guess she kept to her guns after Sheridan. That’s nice. Or maybe it’s not. Hard to tell.

“Are you good?” She can’t see the concern on your face or your free arm crossing over your waist— But she can imagine it in the worried lilt of your voice.

“Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah— I-I’m good— Well actually, no, I’m not good, that’s why I’m calling. Actually. Sorry. I know it’s been a minute, it’s fucked up to call only when I need something—”

“Syd.”

“Is your dad still a handy-man?”

Ah. Goodbye peaceful Friday night. Hello emergency hotfix services.

You click your teeth, “Oh, no, he retired. Got a case of… Getting fucking old disease.” But a part of you is relieved it’s a thing that’s broken, and not her. This is at least manageable— Whatever it is.

“Fuck. Okay. Fuck. Ha, yeah, my dad’s got that too— Well, okay, then I’ll talk—”

You’re quick to jump in. “I took over the business though. So, if you’re—" “We need help so bad right now.”

You can’t help but laugh at the speed of it, but immediately feel guilty hearing the desperation in it. “Yeah? Who’s we?”

You stick the cellphone in the crux of your neck, already walking across your apartment to throw on your jumpsuit— Dark navy blue, elbow length sleeves, dad’s old logo embroidered on your right breast pocket.

CHICAGO’S KINDEST ⚒ FIXERS & CO. It’s managed to grow on you.

There’s an egregious number of patches ironed or sewn onto the back and shoulders of it. All from businesses you and your father had either worked with or done odd jobs for. A NASCAR jumpsuit, but for nostalgia and small businesses. Something something ‘it all starts with your neighbourhood’. Your dad would say.

Syd continues, she hasn’t changed much. You hear her sharp dicing in the background, the rhythm seems to calm down into an actual flow instead of erratic speed. You figure either the dinner rush is starting to slow down or she’s relieved you’re coming. Who are you being humble for, no shot it’s the former.

“So, you know how I’m like— Like a chef and shit?”

You hum the affirmative, putting her on speakerphone so you can pull out your tool kit with both hands.

“So like, I actually co-own this restaurant opening tonight.”

“Oh nice!”

“Yeah— Yeah, yeah, it’s really nice, but actually, it’s not, because it’s bad.”

“In the way I can fix?”

“In the way you can fix, yeah. Hopefully.”

“What’s the damage?”

“So, my co-owner uh, Carmen, he got locked in the walk-in. Like trapped.”

You take a beat, a confused one. Half-stepping, almost tripping. You stare at your tools, picking out what you’ll actually need for this— How the fuck— “How is he trapped in the walk-in?”

“So, he meant to call to get it fixed—” “And he didn’t?” “And he didn’t.”

“What was broke about it in the first place?”

“The doorknob on the inside, broke off. And right now, or, more like, 5 minutes ago, the handle on the outside broke off too.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, fuck.”

“Do you have the outside handle, still?”

“Yeah. Yeah, laying around somewhere— It snapped off though, like—”

“Clean?”

“Uh…. Y’know, I would check, but I’m actually kinda—"

“Can we run table 36, please, Chefs?!” Now that’s an uncomfortably familiar voice.

“Yes, Chef! …I’m kinda busy.”

“Right. Restaurant. Oh, what fucking restaurant? You said Carmen, that’s that fuckin’ Michelin guy, right?” Berzatto. It has to be. The smallness of this world is a personal prank on you.

“…How do you know that?” Son of a bitch.

“…I try to remember what you like.” It’s a good save, but that was too intimate for 3 years of no contact besides Happy Birthday texts, fuck fuck, recover— “Ahem, uh, Restaurant?”

“The Bear. Formerly The Beef. You do still live in Chicago, right?”

Berzatto. Confirmed. Bleh.

“Fortunate for you, I do. I know The Beef, I’m not far, I’ll be there in ten. Tell him to not have a panic attack, if you get a minute.”

“I will not get a minute. But I love the dream.”

And you’re off. Jumpsuit half zipped over what was supposed to be a sleep shirt but is now posthumously a work shirt. Nobody has to know you’re wearing pajama shorts under this. Carhartt jacket thrown over your shoulders— Your dad’s, so, a bit oversized. Toolbox in hand, utility belt on— Though you’re mildly sure if your hypothesis is right, you will only need your threateningly long sledgehammer.

Thank God for your car. CTA would not like you right now.

You pull up front. Oh boy. The sign change is making you feel a type of way that you were not expecting. Pride? Envy? All seven of the deadly sins? Maybe. No time to stew on it because there’s an older woman smoking and having an emotional spat with who you assume is her shivering son out front. So. Definitely going through the back alley instead of getting in the middle of that shit.

Alas, it’s not any better, because there’s Syd, vomiting next to a dumpster.

“Better to ignore or acknowledge you in this moment?” Is the response you decide is best, despite the question, you’re already by her side. You put your tools down (out of the splash zone) and rub her back with one hand, holding back straying braids with the other.

“I couldn’t—” More vomit. “Fuckin’ tell ya.” Syd takes a few deep breathes before standing. She considers going in for a hug, but remembers, the vomit. “Good to see you. I want to catch up, f’real, but—” “The bear in the walk-in?” “The bear in the walk-in.”

You nod, fishing through your pocket. You hand her a mini container of Tums. She waves it off, of course, and you double down, of course, “Who you acting tough for?”

“Fuckin… No one.” She grimaces, taking the box. She makes a show of taking one, like a fussy kid.

You refuse to take it back. “Keep it.”

“Never stopped being the mom friend, eh?”

You laugh, picking up your tools again. “Listen, there’s no telling what the night and your stomach holds. Lead the way?”

The Bear is pretty, or at least the kitchen of it is, so far. It’s clean. Cleaner than it used to be. The death trap walk-in is really the only eyesore for you. You stare at the broken-off handle in your hand, twisting it back and forth to look at all the angles. It’s honestly a pretty clean break.

Sydney’s left to talk to her dad, as she should, and the rest of the kitchen is either too busy to pay you mind or is just silently relieved to see you.

Tina— Who has thankfully opted to not say ‘Hey, good to see you, it’s been a year, what the fuck’—Taps the walk-in door and says to this elusive Michelin Carmen that she’ll be right back, that help’s here. He does not seem to register this at all. She gently slaps your cheek before rushing back to her station, regardless.

“Maybe I’m just not built for this, maybe, maybe that’s okay— Maybe that just is.”

You’ve never said his name to him, it feels heavy on your tongue. “Carmen.”

“Right? What the fuck was I thinking?”

Alright, he’s too far gone. You flag down one of the cooks that are just shadowing for the night. “Hey, can you hold this in place for me?”

You stick the handle into what’s left of the hinge still attached to the door, which is, not much— But hopefully, again, if your hypothesis is correct, it’ll give enough leverage. The cook holds it in place, a little terrified as your sledgehammer comes into view.

“Not gonna hit you, promise.”

“—I’m a fuckin’ psycho. That’s why. That’s why I’m good at what I do.”

You tap (bang) the hammer on the door, enough to stop his train of thought. For a second, at least. “Sweetheart, I need you to stand up for me, Carmen Chef Sir.”

“…Tony?”

“...Who the fuck is Tony?”

The meek cook beside you speaks up, “He means Tommy.”

And Tina is quick to yell from across the kitchen— hearing how? We don’t know. “It’s Terry!”

“I am none of these people.” You sigh, readying the hammer. “Carmen, can you stand up, and just tuck your fingers in the wedge of the door? If there is one?”

“Heard. Yeah.” There’s shuffling from in there, getting into position. Though the steps and the words seem dazed, as he’s forced out of a mental fog. “Here.”

“This isn’t a fix by the way. Your whole door is fucked after this. Not that it isn’t already, but, y’know.” You back up, teeing yourself up before running forward.

“Well, wait—”

You slam the mallet into the tip of the handle perfectly, forcing it way too tight into the gap of the hinge. You push the cook aside with your hip, now using the long handle of the mallet to stick between the knob and the door, using it as further leverage to pull it open. It is incredibly straining.

“Carmy!” Is it okay to say that nickname before you’ve even seen his face? Eh. You’re moving the boulder, he’ll forgive you. “You feel air?!”

“Holy shit— Yeah, yeah— Push?!” “Of course fucking push!”

And it becomes apparent in this exchange of force that this Head Chef must be significantly stronger than you, because it’s opening a lot faster now. Though, fast is a strong word for the snail pace this is happening at. But it’s more than the nothing that was happening a minute ago.

“Aye… Cousin?” Richie, in a… suit? Runs up to you, coming from front of house. He immediately grabs a free spot on the sledgehammer’s handle to help pull. He was shocked to see you doing, well, this, right now, but then upon registering, he’s just shocked to see you. Period.

You can only groan in response, sticking a leg up and putting your foot on the wall as if it’s gonna add meaningful leverage— Oh wait, it kinda is. “Y'clean up good, Rich— Opening going—Fuck— well?”

“Oh yeah, fucking peachy.” He can only manage to wheeze in reply. Investing his strength in yanking rather than reintroductions; thankfully it pays off.

The hinge shoots open, you would have absolutely fallen on your ass if Richie was not ready to stabilize you. The walk-in door cracks open. Just a bit. It’s not dramatic, it’s just a breath.

It’s so anti-climactic that Richie doesn’t mind walking off to cheer before Carmen even comes out. Clapping your back as he does. “That’s what I like to fuckin’ see, Cousin! Ingenuity!”

Though, to be fair, he’s moving to intercept a very sweet looking, worried girl. You look up at her, wheezing as you keel over slightly to catch your breath, hands on your knees. She’s saying something along the lines of ‘What’s going on?’ ‘Is he okay?’ Girlfriend? Probably. Richie seems to be coaxing her accordingly. You turn your head back to the door. Carmen hasn’t come out yet. That’s a red flag. With another wheeze, you stand up right, opening the door further, peeking in.

He's standing there, catatonic. Not looking at you, but straight forward, beyond you. He must’ve been by the door to push it open but now he’s stumbled against the back shelf. Every time his girl’s voice manages to ring into here, his eyes crinkle— Wince. His breath keeps hitching. He looks afraid. It is better to be caged right now than it is to be out there, doing whatever he could be doing, right now. Talking to anyone might be a death sentence, right now.

“I don’t need to provide amusement or enjoyment. I don’t need to receive any amusement or enjoyment. I’m completely fine with that.” He mumbles repeatedly. You can barely hear it over the buzzing of the freezer.

Whispering it just for himself, like some sort of fucked up mantra. Like it’s a state of inner peace to feel this bad. You doubt he even sees you right now.

You know you don’t know Carmy personally. Mostly just through hearsay.

He’s never met or heard of you, that’s for sure.

But you know Berzattos. Or. Knew the one.

And you know a downward spiral. Intimately.

And you know that right now, he’s fucking cold. He is shivering and making no move to leave that state. You think he thinks that’s the state he deserves to stay in.

Nothing to lose but a good first impression, right? You drop a screwdriver in the doorway as a doorstop— Because how fucking dumb would it be if you both got stuck? And. Extremely slowly, you approach him not unlike approaching an actual captive bear. In your eyes, you might as well be.

Standing right in front of him doesn’t stop his mantra. You slip your jacket off, half hugging him to drape it over his shoulders. “You’re just cold.”

“I’m a—” “You’re just. Cold.” You cut him off before he has the chance to self-deprecate again, smoothing out the sleeves on him. His eyes readjust to actually look at you rather than somewhere beyond.

You sniff. You’re already cold and it’s been 30 seconds. This poor thing. You rub your hands together, breathing hot air into them before touching them to his frigid fucking face. “Fuck you’re really cold. Like danger cold.”

Never being one for boundaries or hesitation, you hug yourself to him. It’s the fastest way to warm him up. You slip your hands under the jacket— Your jacket— And just engulf the Italian Popsicle Man before you.

Shockingly, he doesn’t push you off or suddenly reawaken to his senses and tell you to fuck off. He doesn’t flinch, if anything he leans in. His body doesn’t really have time for surprise, right now, it just takes what it needs. And what it needs is warmth and oxytocin. His breathing slowly but surely self regulates, and once you start to remember decorum you lower your arms— But. He opts to place his chin on your shoulder, like the world’s most gentle hook, and that alone is enough to keep you there.

It's a long, silent, liminal spacey moment before he speaks again. Both of you speak just above the decibel of the freezer's buzzing.

“You’re not Tony.”

“Terry.”

“You’re Terry?”

“No, Tina said Tony’s Terry. I don’t know who the fuck Terry is.”

“Terry’s the fridge guy.”

“You’re still going to need to call him; I did just make it worse.”

“That’s fine.” He swallows. “Who called you?”

“Syd.”

“Should’ve called you earlier.”

“Should’ve called the fridge guy earlier.”

“Yeah.” He sighs, but he makes no move to move, so you don’t either.

“You know Mikey too?”

Ah. The patch. The Beef. It's worn, but it sits proudly on the left shoulder of your jumpsuit. Your heart tightens and so does your posture.

“Yeah.” You sigh. It’s shakier than you’d like it to be. “Dad knew him, so then I knew him, so then I occasionally fixed shit for him. Shit that ‘Fak couldn’t?’ I think his name was?”

“Hm.” He hums. “He ever got locked in the walk-in?”

“Yeah, he really fucked it up, like waayy worse than whatever happened with you tonight. Like whatever happened. At least 10 times worse.” Your voice is coated with sarcasm, but it’s not entirely untrue.

You’re relieved, when Carmen laughs at this, a touch maniacally, but it’s something. Right now, any emotion from him besides regret and anxiety feels like a trophy. He straightens up, pushing his hair back, so you remove your arms.

“You’re fuckin’ funny, Tony.”

“Still not Tony.”

“Oh my god!” A blonde, very pregnant woman cracks the door open, relieved. “Are you okay, Bear?” You step aside so she can hug Carmen, holding his cheeks to look over him. Oh, this has to be—

“I’m good, I’m great, Sug.” He says this incredibly unconvincingly, hanging one hand on her wrist.

But what matters more in your brain right now is: That’s Sugar. Natalie.

And now you can put a face to both siblings you’ve been bitched about to.

Chain-smoker, means well, cringeworthy husband, too good for her family, incredibly judgemental, cares too much and worries more, loves to fight, her mother’s daughter, pushy, sticks her foot in her mouth, can’t take no for an answer, would lay down her life. Natalie Berzatto. Little sister.

Michelin Star retaining, big shot, sensitive, definitely a virgin, ball buster, sweats the small stuff, sweetheart, asshole, incredibly smart, flighty, coward, deeply loyal, whiny, screamer, show-off, fantastic drawer, shell, mister new york, annoyingly humble, undeniably the most talented. Carmen Berzatto. Baby brother.

Mikey’s words. Of course.

Nat turns her gaze over to you, “Thank you.” You can only bring yourself to nod in reply, a bit awkward— Lost in your rolodex of memories of the people you’ve never actually met until right now. It’s weird to feel parasocial about a normal person.

“Our toilet, exploded.” She says.

Now that pulls out you of it, and gets a laugh out of you. You put your hand over your mouth. “Yeah?”

Sugar shakes her head, eyes widening like she’s just stepped in it, “I didn’t mean like— Like, you just did a job, right, that’s like tacking on another last-minute service—”

“That’s fine.” You put a hand up stopping her from continuing, still chuckling. “I’ll take a look at it tonight and try to fix it tomorrow?”

She nods, smiling bright, “Thank you, Tommy.”

Who needs to use Y/N when you have the fridge guy?

I so desperately hope you liked this first chapter. I've been stewing on this for like a week so I beg of you to reply/reblog/send me an ask (anon or not!!) telling me what you thought!! Unless it's mean!! In which case, do NOT!!!

And just a forewarning, as we step into uncharted territory where the walk-in meltdown was cut short, I need you to hold my hand through it bb. We're making this man's life better or we're gonna die trying.

Next Part

#carmen berzatto #carmy the bear #carmy x reader #the bear fx #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #the bear fanfiction #the bear x reader #the bear x you #carmen x reader #carmen berzatto imagine

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mymoodwriting · 6 months

Text

15.8k, yandere, manipulation, gangs, drugs, guns, needles, sedatives, car accident, alcohol, kidnapping, knives, pills, smut, non-con, dub-con, knife play, aphrodisiac, BDSM, sex toys, fingering, dry humping, gang bang, double penetration, restraints, supernatural power (@starillusion13)

“Welcome to Wingz Express, how may I help you?”

You pulled down your hood as you walked into the shop. The gentleman behind the counter was quite handsome, and more focused on the white cat in its arms. When he looked up at you he offered a smile, standing up.

“What can I do for you?”

“Uh… hi… I was wondering… how much could you give me for this necklace?”

You pulled your fist out of your pocket, holding it out and opening your hand to reveal a small gold necklace. The gentleman asked for your permission to take it and then proceeded to do so. He examined it for a moment up against the light and then handed it back to you, checking under the counter display case for something.

“So, tell me, why’s a pretty thing like you selling something so pretty.”

“I just need the money…”

“What for?”

“Nothing bad!” You quickly remarked. “Just for school… I need new books for the semester and… I don’t really have any other options.”

“I see.”

The gentleman got out a scale, turning it on and testing it out with a few other jewelry pieces. As he did that the door opened, a bell ringing to signify there was someone new entering the shop. You looked over to see another guy with a cap walk in, and before the shop worker could say their greeting he spoke.

“I’m back.”

“Welcome back, Hyunjae.”

“Oh, what do we have here?”

This Hyunjae gave you a smile before going behind the counter with the other, looking around for the item in question. Although you still had it.

“May I?”

The other held his hand out to you, and you handed over the necklace. He put it on the scale and noted down its weight. From there Hyunjae grabbed it and began examining it.

“So, how much are you looking to get?” The worker asked.

“Juyeon-”

“I’m not talking to you right now, Hyunjae.” Juyeon cleared his throat and smiled at you. “How much do you need?”

“Uh… if I could get a few hundred… that would be fine… although I don’t think the necklace is worth that much…”

“Well you’re in luck.” Juyeon grabbed the necklace, holding it up. “The craftsman ship on this is quite unique, the weight is decent, and it seems to be 14k, so I can give you about six hundred dollars.”

“Six… six hundred?”

“Too little?”

“I… no… if that’s what it’s worth… I had no idea…”

“Whoever gave this to you must have really cared for you.”

“I guess… it’s the only thing I have from my birth parents… before they passed away…”

“Oh, something with this much sentimental value… are you sure you want to-”

“I need the money for school… it’s okay…”

“If you say so.”

Juyeon grabbed a sheet of paper and pen, sliding it over to you. He asked for you to fill out your personal information, as they needed physical records of all transactions. He stepped away for a moment to get the money, counting it in front of you so you’d have no doubts. As he handed it over to you he kept his grip on it, confusing you. He reached into his jacket pocket and held out a business card for you, which you hesitantly took.

“What’s this?”

“If you need money, it might be better to get a job. We also run a delivery service and are always looking for new people.” Juyeon let go of the money. “Just a thought.”

“Thank you…”

You politely bowed your head and made your way out of the shop. Juyeon watched you every step of the way until you were out of sight. When he looked back he was met with Hyunjae’s death glare.

“What?”

“Six hundred dollars? Seriously? How much is that necklace actually worth?”

“About a hundred.”

“Juyeon!”

“What!”

“Sangyeon is going to kill you.”

“He can try.” Juyeon looked down at the paperwork. “Let me know when she calls.”

“You mean if she calls.”

“When.” Juyeon corrected. “She’ll call.”

“And how can you be so sure?”

“Cause I’m gonna make her mine.”

❤

You went to the shop early in the morning the day before classes started. You made it back to your dorm, ignoring the boxes you needed to unpack and just collapsing onto the bed. You were grateful you had gotten some money, hoping it’d be enough for books. Your stomach growled and you could only whine. You had two meal passes per day, and you’d rather save those for lunch and dinner. For a moment you thought to spend some of the money you had on breakfast, but you quickly shot the idea down reminding yourself you had to save every penny. After some more lounging around you heard your roommate come in, reminding you that you needed to unpack and get ready for the semester.

After the first week you had all necessary materials, and a few bucks left over. You kinda wanted to treat yourself, but you knew you shouldn’t be spending so recklessly. You’d spend your time in the library, working on assignments, or in your dorm. Even though you wanted to go out, even when classmates invited you, the only option you had was to stay in your dorm. It sucked, but you were used to it by now. Especially the morning hunger pains. Which were way worse after pulling an all nighter.

You laid in bed the next morning, telling yourself you had to get up. You went about your morning routine, getting your things and when you put your phone in your pocket found a business card. For a moment you questioned it, but seeing the name on it reminded you where you had gotten in. The shop worker told you it would be best to get a job, and that they were hiring. You weren’t sure if you’d be able to do it though, considering you’ve seen a lot of delivery workers dropping off big heavy boxes. Not to mention the fact your schedule was all over the place.

Then again you could do late evenings but you’d sacrifice sleep in the process. You groaned as you debated this, unsure what to do. In your current situation you were just getting by, staying at a constant with no real movement upwards. You were okay, but you could be better. Some money in your pocket would probably make you feel less anxious. Since you still had time before your morning class you decided to call on your way over, hoping to get some information and go from there.

“Hello, Wingz Express, how may I help you?”

“Hi… I was calling to ask about your open positions.”

“Open positions?”

“Yes. One of your employees from the shop gave me a card, I believe his name was Juyeon. He told me you were hiring.”

“Ah, yes. So, what do you want to know?”

“Well, I was curious about the pay? Does it depend on the department or-”

“Thirty.”

“…” You stopped in your tracks. “Thirty… what?”

“All the work is basically the same, so I’d be paying you thirty an hour.”

“Thirty… an hour?”

“Is that not enough?”

“No! I mean, that’s great. Although, I’m a uni student so I could only really work late in the evening.”

“That’s fine. A delivery service is available 24/7 so that’s no problem. When can you start?”

“… just like that? No interview or background check.”

“It’s a delivery job, don’t need much, just you.”

“Oh… okay then…”

“You think you could come by later today? I know where I could put you.”

“Yeah, yeah I can do that. Does seven sound good?”

“Works for me. Can I get your name?”

“Y/n.”

“I’m Sangyeon, the owner. I’ll text you the address for the warehouse and when you come over ask for me.”

“Got it. Thank you.”

“I’ll see you later.”

When the call ended you found yourself staring at your phone. You easily got a job, and it paid very well. For a moment your heart fluttered with joy but then you thought about it. If it paid this much, and they were hiring, there had to be something wrong with the job. That killed your mood a bit but you told yourself it wouldn’t hurt to check it out. Besides, they were expecting you now so it would be rude not to show up. You put it all to the side for now focusing on your classes. You had an early lunch before catching a bus and heading to the warehouse. It seemed pretty empty, so you began to worry you were in the wrong place, but you saw some trucks with the Wingz Express stamp on it in the loading dock, giving you some reassurance.

You then saw a few people walking inside the building. You called out to them, but they didn’t seem to hear you so you followed them inside. It looked how you’d imagine a delivery service would have their warehouse stocked, rows and rows of items going up to the ceiling. Still, you didn’t see many workers around. You were starting to think this place was fairly new, it would explain why the pay was so high, they needed people. You cautiously walked around, looking for another employee, but it wouldn’t be long before you were called out.

“Ya! Stop right there!”

You turned around to see these two gentlemen walking over to you, concern on their faces. You merely offered a smile, trying not to be nervous.

“Hello.”

“What are you doing here?”

“I’m the new hire.”

“New hire? Seriously?”

“Uh, yes. I spoke with the owner on the phone and he-”

“Sure you did. Look, you seem nice, so why don’t we escort you out.”

“What?”

“We have no problem dragging you out if necessary.”

“But-”

“Guys!” A third voice boomed. “What is going on?”

“This girl says she works here. That she spoke with you on the phone.”

“I did speak with someone.”

You looked back to see who you believed to be Sangyeon approach. He came up to you with a smile and held his hand out to you.

“You must be y/n, it’s a pleasure to meet you in person, I’m Sangyeon.”

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you too.”

“I’m glad you found the place, now let’s go to the office and get all the paperwork sorted.”

“Wait, why didn’t you tell us that-”

“It’s fine. Just get back to work you two.”

You followed Sangyeon to the office at the back of the warehouse. He brought out some papers for you to fill out, getting you a hat and vest as well. Afterwards he showed you around the warehouse, telling you about the company. They had been around for a while and as you suspected, only recently set up a location in this area. They pretty much delivered everything to anyone, so their services were sought after.

“I don’t expect heavy manual labor from you, so I’ll be partnering you up with Younghoon.”

You went over to the docks, Sangyeon introducing you to your new partner. He was happy to meet you, giving you a big smile as he shook your hand.

“Welcome to the team.”

“Thanks.”

“I expect you to take good care of her.” Sangyeon commented. “And show her the ropes.”

“Of course.”

“Alright, be safe, and let me know if anything happens. See you both later.”

Younghoon closed up the truck and playfully offered you the keys, but said you didn’t know where to go yet. You also mentioned you didn’t know how to drive which he assured you wasn’t an issue as no one really did deliveries alone.

“So, what’s up with you?”

“Huh?”

“Sorry, I worded that weirdly. Tell me about yourself. What do you do with your time, why the job?”

“Oh… well I’m a university student, and I need the money for my expenses… and to pay back my loans someday.”

“Your parents won’t help out?”

“I don’t have any…”

“Oh, my bad.”

“It’s alright. I was in foster care and did grow up in a nice home, it’s just… different…”

“You still live with your foster parents?”

“No, no, I live on campus in the dormitories. It feels more like my home that way.”

“Look at you, miss independent.”

You giggled. “I try.”

“Well, getting a job is a good step.”

“Thanks.”

You arrived at an apartment complex, going with Younghoon to get the delivery items. You had multiple deliveries in the building, and it would go faster with two people. Younghoon pulled out a small cart, handing you these paper bags with numbers on them. He got another cart and did the same, the two of you taking one and making your way inside the building. He gave you a list, and certain floors to attend to, as well as a walkie to keep in touch with, telling you the numbers on the bags corresponded with apartment numbers. You just had to place the bag in front of the right door and take a picture of it, followed by ringing the doorbell and moving onto the next. Pretty simple.

You did this with a few other apartment complexes, returning to the warehouse in the early hours of the morning. To your surprise you could hear music and cheering coming from inside. Younghoon seemed to know exactly what was going on and had you follow him. You saw a bunch of boys gathered around two others in forklifts, they were gonna race. Sangyeon noticed the two of you and came over. Younghoon told him everything had gone well and all deliveries were made. He was happy to hear, asking you how you felt with the work. It was good, and you were glad to help.

“You should stick around for the race.”

“I don’t think I should.”

“It’ll be fun. You can place your bet too.”

“I don’t really have money to bet…”

“Then how about this.” Younghoon suggested. “You bet an hours pay, and if you win, your paycheck gets doubled. You should have some fun with us too.”

“Uh…”

“It’s not much to lose.”

“Sure. I’ll play.”

If you were gonna keep this job, you should make an effort to get along with your coworkers. You joined in the crowd, going over to the front, and being told who the racers were. One was a gentleman by the name of Sunwoo, and the other Chanhee. You didn’t have much to go by so this was truly a gamble for you. In the end you put your money on Chanhee, and then the race began. The gentleman from the shop, Hyunjae, went up to start the race, doing a count down and dropping the flag. It was easy to get caught up in the energy as you watch the two go around the warehouse, and you were overjoyed when Chanhee crossed the finish line first. You screamed in joy and jumped into Younghoon’s arms. He spun you around until you came back to your senses and apologized.

“Congrats to you.”

“Sorry, I didn’t…”

“It’s okay, you were excited.”

“Y/n.” Sangyeon called. “Let’s get you your money, follow me.”

You went with Sangyeon to the office. He gave you a check for your first shift, and your earnings from the bet in cash. You kept yourself together as best you could, but it was hard to hide your joy.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you then.”

You returned to your dorm, tired but satisfied. A bit of a burden had been lifted off your shoulders. You cleaned up and went to bed. Even though you wouldn’t get much sleep you had the peace of mind that everything would be alright. In the morning you even treated yourself to a yummy breakfast before class. You went about your day with a slight skip in your step, and happily returned to the warehouse in the evening. While you made your way to the office you heard a honk and one of the forklifts came over to your side. You recognized the driver.

“Hello, I don’t think we got to properly meet last night.”

“Hi, I’m y/n, a new hire.”

“I’m Chanhee, your lucky charm.” He chuckled. “You made the right choice last night.”

“Thanks for winning.”

“It’s all skill. We should hang out sometime outside of work.”

“If I have the time.”

“Then keep me in your thoughts.”

“Y/n!” You heard Younghoon call. “You ready?”

“Coming! I’ll see you around, Chanhee.”

“Don’t be a stranger.”

Chanhee went off and you went over to Younghoon, going off to work. For the next few days it was the same routine. You went to the same places, and did the same job. Since it was late in the evening going into the morning, you rarely ran into people, although it did happen on occasion. These people usually just said hello, and moved on, but on one occasion things were different. Someone approached you, asking about their order. You were happy to help, and asked for their apartment number. You didn’t have anything on your list, so you used your walkie to call Younghoon and ask him about the situation. He had no record of such an order either.

“Sorry, we don’t seem to have your order. Perhaps you could-”

“Just give me one of the ones you have.”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that. These are for other people. And-”

“Whatever.”

The person just grabbed a random bag off your cart, and you quickly reached out to grab it as well. You were trying to explain this wasn’t for them, but the other party was not letting go. Eventually the struggle caused the bag to rip, multiple items falling to the floor, and a white powder exploding onto you. The other person immediately dropped the bag and ran, causing you to collapse to the floor. You were upset and as you got up Younghoon came to your side, helping you to your feet.

“Are you okay?”

“I guess. Sorry, one of the orders-”

“It’s fine.” Younghoon tried to dust you off. “There’s a small vacuum in the back of the van, why don’t you go get it and I’ll do some cleaning here.”

“Of course.”

You went down to the van and retrieved the vacuum returning to Younghoon as he got off the phone. He thanked you and got to work cleaning up, telling you they liked to operate like ghosts, not leaving a trace behind. He also told you not to worry about the order that was damaged, Sangyeon was already taking care of it. You continued with the deliveries together, although after a while you began to feel dizzy. You thought you were fine but your legs suddenly gave out. Younghoon was quick to catch you, holding you in his arms.

“Y/n? Y/n, can you hear me?”

You felt strange, as if you were floating on water. Younghoon’s voice sounded so distant, but you were trying to listen. All you could give him was a smile before your body gave out and everything faded to black.

❤

Your head was throbbing as you regained consciousness. It took a moment to register where you were, but as you sat up you could see that you were in the office back at the warehouse. You were relieved to be somewhere familiar, although you were alone. Besides the headache you felt fine, and when you checked the time you saw that your shift had ended half an hour ago. You felt terrible for what had happened, but at least it wasn’t bad enough that you needed to be taken to the hospital. It was getting late and you needed to return to your dorm, but you also wanted to check in with Sangyeon to apologize.

You grabbed your things and stepped out of the office, looking around the warehouse. The place was eerily quiet, yet you called out to see if anyone was there. As far as you knew the warehouse never really closed, so someone had to be around. While wandering around you noticed just how many boxes were stacked in the warehouse. You had never really looked into the type of things Wingz Express delivered, and after today’s incident you were quite curious. The boxes were labeled according to what they had, but you noticed the boxes higher up didn’t have a label at all.

“You should be careful.”

You jumped when you heard a voice, looking over to see Chanhee up on some boxes looking down at you. If he had been there this whole time then he surely had heard you calling for someone, but just ignored you until now. He chuckled and apologized for startling you, hoping down.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better, sorry for what happened.”

“It wasn’t your fault, you were just doing your job.”

“Yeah… so what is it that you guys deliver? What have I been delivering?”

“No idea, big boss Sangyeon takes care of all that. We deliver anything and everything, so who knows, not really our business.”

“I see. I should get going.”

“Right, you have class in the morning. I’ll show you out.”

“I was actually looking for Sangyeon.”

“He’s busy with something, but I’ll let him know you’re alright.”

“Okay, thanks.”

You made it back to your dorm in one piece, feeling a mix of exhaustion and annoyance. People just had to be so dumb and you were sure you’d get a pay cut for passing out on the job. For now though you just needed to sleep and worry about your classes. In the morning you still felt tired, but you had to get on with your day. Although as you were on your way to class you got a call from Sangyeon.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

“I’m alright. I do need to apologize for last night.”

“There’s no need. All that matters is that you’re alright. If you need anything, you let me know.”

“I will, thank you.”

“Since I have you on the line, could I ask something of you?”

“What is it?”

“I know you don’t usually work weekends, but if you ever have the time you’re always welcome to come by. I could use the help in the mornings and I’d pay you extra too. Which reminds me, I am paying you for your full hours for yesterday.”

“Oh you don’t-”

“I insist. You got hurt on the job and I need to take care of you. I know it’s early so I’ll let you go, but if you can come in this weekend please let me know.”

“Yeah, yeah I will, thanks Sangyeon.”

“Have a good day.”

“You too.”

❤

The weekends were normally your days off. You’d use them to catch up on assignments, or sleep, and maybe treat yourself since you had money to spend. Although you didn’t really have friends to hang out with. At least if you went into work you wouldn’t be alone, and you’d get some more money. So you decided to make your way over to the warehouse, greeted by happy faces.

“I’m glad you could spare the time.” Sangyeon commented.

“No problem. So, where’s Younghoon?”

“You won’t be with him today. I’m gonna have you help Kevin out. Nothing too crazy.”

“Sure. That sounds like fun.”

“I’ll take you to him.”

You followed Sangyeon through the warehouse, going back over to the loading docks. He brought you over to Kevin and introduced you.

“Pleasure to be working with you.”

“Same here.”

“Take care of her.” Sangyeon mentioned.

“I got it, boss.”

“Then I’ll leave you to it. Let me know if anything happens.”

“Will do.” Kevin playfully saluted. “So, I know you’re used to working the evening shift, but I promise the day shift isn’t too bad.”

“I guess we’ll see.”

“Truck’s already loaded so let’s go.”

You made small talk with Kevin on the drive, and the job was fairly similar. You were dropping off boxes to apartment buildings or stores. If there was no one to receive it then you set it down, take a picture, and send a message, just like before. The only real difference was politely greeting people around you. The uniform was simple too, which meant it was easy for people to recognize you.

“Y/n?”

“Hm?”

While heading back to the truck you were stopped by a group of girls, recognizing them from one of your classes. You weren’t exactly friends, but you knew each other to be more than strangers.

“What are you doing?”

“Just… working… I need some extra money so I thought I’d pick up a few shifts.”

“That explains a lot.”

“Huh?”

“Y/n.”

You looked back just as Kevin approached you, seeming out of breath. He placed an arm around your shoulder, pulling you close.

“This was our last stop, so we can go.” Kevin smiled and looked over at the girls. “Ladies, if you’ll excuse us.”

“What’s your name?”

“Sorry, I’m not that easy.”

Kevin pulled you along back to the truck. The other girls followed you for a bit, but Kevin didn’t pay them any attention. As you were on the road heading back to the warehouse your phone started pinning. The girls had your number from previous projects and were asking you about Kevin. Before you could even attempt to answer them Kevin snatched your phone.

“Ya.”

“I thought you were keeping me company.”

“Right, sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize.” Kevin said. “Thanks for today, you were a big help.”

“No problem.”

“You got any plans for later?”

“No, not really. Why?”

“We’re having a party tonight down at our favorite spot. You should come.”

“You mean a club?”

“Yeah.”

“I don’t really have an outfit for that.”

“Just wear something nice. You should come. Have a few drinks and relax, I’m sure uni must be stressful.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Would love to see you, consider it a work get together. You’d be able to meet everyone.”

“Uh… sure… there’s no harm.”

“Awesome. I’ll text you the details.”

Like you said, you didn’t have an outfit for the club scene, but found something nice. You were a bit nervous, but to your surprise the bouncer let you in without issue. As you stepped inside you could feel the music shaking everything. The lights were low and people were dancing and drinking in every direction. You glanced down at your phone, sending Kevin a message that you were here. While walking around you wound up running into your classmates from before.

“Y/n? Surprised to see you here, it’s not really your scene.”

“I… I know… it’s a work thing…”

“Oh, then maybe we can join you.”

“I’m not sure if you could.”

Despite the crowd you managed to see a familiar face, Chanhee, excusing yourself and trying to follow after them. You called their name, but you can’t hear much besides the music. Although you stopped when you came across two bouncers, realizing Chanhee had gone into a VIP section.

“Hello, I’m here with my friends and I saw one of them just went through here.”

“Yeah, I didn’t know we were doing VIP tonight.”

Your classmates had followed you and come up from behind, trying to sweet talk the bouncers. You weren’t exactly with them, but if they could help you get in then maybe it wasn’t a bad thing. Although you noticed another familiar face and called out to them.

“Kevin!”

“Y/n, glad you could make it.”

Kevin came over and told the bouncers to let you in, although your classmates weren’t allowed. They started pleading with you, but you weren’t sure what to say.

“Are these your friends y/n?” Kevin asked. “And be honest.”

“Uh… well… not really… we’re just classmates.”

“I see, well, ladies, I’m afraid VIP is invite only, have a nice night.”

Kevin wrapped an arm around your shoulder and led you deeper into the VIP section. You were brought over to a private area, seeing many more familiar faces. You got a simple drink from the bar there, mingling with your coworkers and meeting new people. Although some were definitely old faces.

“Y/n! Oh my gosh, it’s so good to see you.”

“Juyeon?”

“Yeah, how’ve you been? How’s the job?”

“It’s good, and the money has been a great help.”

“See, told ya it would work out.”

“Thanks again for the introduction.”

“My pleasure.”

You danced the night away, having a few drinks too. Not enough to be drunk, but you were a bit tipsy. Come morning things were winding down, and you definitely needed rest. Some of the boys offered you a ride back to the dorm, which you gladly accepted. They didn’t all drink as some were the designated drivers of the night. You cozied up in the back of a car, squished between Sunwoo and Eric, while Hyunjae took the passenger seat and Jacob sat behind the wheel. The drive was smooth, Eric having his face pressed against the glass while you leaned against his shoulder. You were half asleep and couldn’t really make out the voices around you.

“She’s so cute…” Hyunjae mumbled, looking at you through the rearview mirror. “Can we keep her? I know tonight-”

“You already know the answer to that.” Jacob interrupted. “We can’t just keep an innocent person around.”

“Yeah, yeah…”

The peaceful ride was suddenly interrupted as you were sent spinning, another vehicle crashing into yours. The car came to a stop when it crashed against the side of the building. All the windows were smashed and you had cuts from broken glass. You groaned as you looked around, seeing that the others were conscious too. Sunwoo was in your field of vision, talking to you, but you couldn’t really hear anything. Next thing you knew the door behind him was yanked open and he was dragged out. Then someone reached in and pulled you out of the wreck. You were laid on the ground, vaguely making out Haknyeon before passing out.

❤

You expected to wake up in the hospital, or maybe even in an ambulance. Instead you found yourself in the office back at the warehouse. You felt a few aches around your body, and your cuts stung, but you were fine overall. You slowly sat up, Juyeon and Sangyeon both there to tell you to take it easy.

“What… what happened?”

“Minor car accident.” Juyeon explained. “No one was seriously injured.”

“Shouldn’t we go to the hospital?”

“We’re fine.” Sangyeon assured. “But if you feel like-”

“No, no, I’m fine.”

“Glad to hear. Apologies though, we were supposed to take you back to the dorm, but we needed to make sure you were alright first.”

“I understand, thanks.”

“Why don’t you rest for a bit and then we’ll take you home.”

“Yeah, that sounds good.”

Juyeon got up and got you a glass of water. You thanked him and laid down, feeling like a good nap would do you well as you still felt kinda dizzy and tipsy. Juyeon gave you a blanket and tucked you in on the couch, saying he’d come by later to get you and take you back to your dorm. You thanked him and closed your eyes, getting some sleep. You were out for a while before you opened your eyes again, feeling more clear headed. You found yourself alone in the office, figuring you might as well go look for Juyeon or one of the others. You found your things and headed into the warehouse.

You called out to the guys, but got no answer. Before you could try again you heard some noises and followed them. You saw the boys gathered around, laughing and smiling. You were about to make your presence known when you saw Chanhee hold up a gun and cock it. Your eyes went wide, seeing he wasn’t the only one with a weapon. You took a closer look at what the boys were doing. Besides weapons you saw needles, jewelry, and other types of contraband. It was clear you needed to leave on your own, and quietly. You took a step back and wound up knocking something over and making noise. You cursed under your breath, intending to run off only to bump into Kevin. He had an amused smile on his face, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Look who’s awake.”

“Ha… hi…”

“We were just gonna go get you.”

“Right… I would like to go back to-”

“What’s this?”

The others had come to see what the noise was, finding you with Kevin. You offered the boys a smile, but it was hard to act normal when you saw some of them holding guns.

“Hey… I… I was looking for someone… I need to get back to the dorm…”

“Juyeon.” Sangyeon sighed. “You were supposed to give her a laced glass of water.”

“I swear I thought I did.”

“Well clearly you didn’t.”

“Wa… what do you mean…” You nervously laughed. “I’m fine, and I’d really like to go-”

“I guess we get to keep her after all, Hyunjae.” Jacob commented. “Lucky us.”

“Yes!”

“Huh?”

“Grab her.”

Since Kevin was the closest to you he immediately grabbed your arm which caused you to act. You tried to run and free yourself from his grasp but his grip was tight. Then Younghoon came over and grabbed your other arm, the two of them keeping you from escaping.

“What are you doing! Let go!”

“We can’t do that.” Younghoon said. “Sorry.”

“What about the mission tonight?” Sunwoo asked. “Are we going to postpone?”

“No, it will proceed as intended.” Sangyeon stated. “Those bastards aren’t gonna get away with a stunt like that. And we also need to send a message.”

“Then what do we do about y/n?”

“We’ll keep her here until we get back. Put her in the cage for now.”

“What is that!?” You screamed. “Please, just… just let me go! I won’t tell anyone anything! I swear!”

“We should have made her drink more.” Chanhee said. “Things wouldn’t have gotten so complicated.”

“Probably. Now let’s move.”

You tried to argue some more but the boys just dragged you along effortlessly. You were taken further into the warehouse, coming over to the sortation area. You weren’t sure what this cage was, but you were a bit relieved when you saw it. In order to transport packages around there was this cage on wheels to make sure they were safe. Usually it was stacked high with packages but this time you would be put inside. It was hard to fight back as they locked you in. You expected them to use some sort of lock but instead you watched in disbelief as Kevin bent the metal together. He gave you a smirk and a wink.

“We’ll be back later. So stay put.”

You couldn’t resist the urge to try and break yourself free but the door wouldn’t budge at all. Your mind was still processing what had happened, but the proof was right in front of you. There was no way someone was physically strong enough to bend metal the way Kevin just did, but you were living in that reality. You screamed at them to let you out, but none listened and just walked away, leaving you trapped and completely alone. You kept trying to free yourself for a while, but eventually you exhausted yourself. You collapsed and sat in the cage, contemplating your next move.

These guys were something else, and you didn’t know them at all. Now you were their prisoner, and you were certain they wouldn’t easily let you go. Since it was quiet and you were settling down from everything that had happened, exhaustion was catching up to you. Without really meaning to you wound up falling asleep. You didn’t know for how long you were out, but you woke to the rattling of the cage. You jumped awake and quickly scrambled against a corner, seeing Chanhee grabbing onto the cage and giggling.

“You look good in there.”

“Let me out!”

“Sure, but no running away, okay?”

“Whatever.”

Chanhee bent the metal back, allowing for the doors to be opened. You didn’t bother thinking about his insane feat of strength, but you were certainly surprised to see him holding his hand out to you. Reluctantly you took it, finally being able to stretch properly. You didn’t see anyone else around, so this was your chance. You offered Chanhee a smile before shoving him away from you and running in the opposite direction. Unfortunately you didn’t make it far as you crashed into Haknyeon, who you swear wasn’t there a second ago, and fell to the floor. You glanced back to see that Chanhee was still standing by the cage. Your shove really hadn’t thrown him off balance at all.

“What did I say?” Chanhee teased. “No running away. It’s pointless either way.”

“Please just let me go…”

“We’re going home now, so don’t worry.”

“Really?”

“Of course.”

Haknyeon helped you to your feet, distracting you as Chanhee came up from behind and jammed a needle into your neck, emptying out its contents into you. Your eyes went wide, and Haknyeon held you still. Once the needle was removed you began to feel a bit dizzy, your legs losing strength. You could vaguely make out the smile on Haknyeon’s face as he lifted you up into his arms, carrying you bridal style. You tried to speak, to stay awake, but it wasn’t long before the darkness swallowed you.

“Let’s go home.”

❤

When you regained consciousness you felt a bit sore, but as soon as you had your head on straight your focus was on figuring out what happened and where you were. Unfortunately you couldn’t see much as your surroundings were pitch black. Not to mention your hands and legs were tied together, leaving you with a limited ability to move. So you carefully began to wiggle around, bumping into some boxes. Despite being close to the object, you couldn’t actually see it unless you got really close. Although this didn’t help you much as you had no means of freeing yourself.

A moment later you shake as the ground beneath you begins to move, and you hear the loud roar of a trailer. You were in the back of a truck and being moved to some unknown location. You tried to move around, screaming for help, but you eventually exhausted yourself, deciding to just wait and see what happened next. Since you had no concept of time in that darkness you had no idea for how long you were in there. There wasn’t even a point in trying to remember what turns were made. Eventually you came to a stop and heard the engine turn off. You were left to wonder if you had reached your final destination or if this was just a quick stop.

You heard the sounds of something unlatching, and then you were blinded by a bright light. You lifted up your arms to shield your eyes, taking a moment to adjust. As you suspected you were in the back of a trailer, and there were a bunch of boxes and other pieces of furniture around you. Being able to see it all now, this seemed like a moving truck. You heard voices and saw some of the boys climbing into the truck and grabbing boxes. Although before you could say something Jacob came up to you and tied a gag around your mouth. You began to squirm, but you were powerless in your restraints.

He got you up, getting help from Kevin as they moved you towards the end of the trailer, intending to unload you like the rest of the cargo onboard. You remained restrained as you got out of the trailer, being left with Younghoon for a moment. When you tried to get the gag off he grabbed the rope that bound your hands together, using that as a means to keep you leashed. You looked around, noticing the huge house. They had brought you to their place. All around you could see trees and a long driveway leading out to what you assumed was the main road. As far as you knew this place was in the middle of nowhere.

Younghoon suddenly pulled on your ropes, and the next thing you knew he had you over his shoulder. You squirmed and hit his back, but he seemed completely unphased. You weren’t super light, but even then he was carrying you so effortlessly. You were taken into the house, the others giving you smiles but not saying anything to you. Given the truck and all the items, you thought they were moving in, but upon entering the house you could see it was clearly lived in. This was their home. You were set down on the couch, Younghoon pulling out a knife and setting you free. He reached up and took your gag off as well.

“Welcome home.”

“What the hell is wrong with you guys…”

Younghoon chuckled. “Nothing, why?”

“You-”

“Here.” Juyeon came over with a case. “Before you do anything else.”

Younghoon took the case from the other, opening it up and revealing what looked to be a small dog collar. You immediately thought that was going around your neck, but Younghoon grabbed your leg, taking your shoe off and slipping the collar onto your leg. When you tried to pull away he just held on tighter, really unbothered by your actions. He tightened it around your ankle, and then you heard something click. You noticed a green light emitting from the device, realizing it was some sort of ankle brace, and he just placed you under house arrest.

“What the hell!”

“Don’t want you running off now.” Juyeon smiled. “Don’t worry, it won’t hurt you or anything.”

“I’m a prisoner in this house!?”

“You don’t have to think of it that way. This place is yours, and that’s just a precaution.”

“I want to go home!”

“We are home.”

“This place isn’t home.”

“I suppose you just have to give it a chance.”

“Fuck you!”

You got up and stormed off, just walking in any direction just to get away from them. No one tried to stop you, probably since you weren’t actually walking towards the door but further into the house. That wasn’t your intention, but at least none of them followed you. After walking a bit you went into the first open door you found. You closed the door behind you, leaning against it and taking a breath. This whole situation was insane, but they were acting so normal, or as normal as kidnapping someone could be. Now you were who knows where in a foreign house with no escape in sight.

You slid down to the floor, feeling defeated. You didn’t even understand how you wound up in this situation. You were just working for their stupid company and saw something you weren’t supposed to. Then again you were probably lucky to be alive. Most people who learn someone else’s secrets wind up dead, but this wasn’t exactly better either. You didn’t have your phone or any means to communicate with the world beyond this house. So in a sense you were dead to the world. You got up and found a window, staring out at the sky and then looking down at your foot with the ankle brace.

You took a moment to further examine it, but you didn’t see any way to get it off. You really were trapped in this house. You sat back down on the floor, hugging your knees to your chest. You just wanted to go back to campus, go back to classes and be a normal person again. Your situation seemed hopeless, making you tear up, but you had to remind yourself this wasn’t the end. Surely there was a way out, and you were certain you could find it. If you gave up now, then you definitely wouldn’t get out. You took a moment to pull yourself together. This place was huge, but maybe you could find something to use to your advantage.

This would be a process, but you also didn’t intend to be friendly. For the following days you kept to yourself, not speaking to any of the boys, and avoiding them outside of meals. They tried to make conversation and engage with you, but when they saw you were unresponsive they left you alone. You didn’t expect them to just let you be, but you were still glad they did. You were allowed to explore the house as you pleased, discovering all kinds of things. They seemed to have huge collections of expensive and luxurious items. It made sense to have all these things as they did run a pawn shop and delivery service. They had access to so many things.

In that same vein, remembering the weapons, a handful of these items were probably stolen or acquired by illegal means. Seeing all these priceless items made you realize you were practically a living trophy in this house. Another prize they had won, or more accurately taken. It made you feel a bit sick, but you had yet to find something of use. Most doors around the house were open, so you could go where you pleased. Even the boys’ rooms were all open to you, but you already searched them. The room you had given was plain and empty. They told you that you could decorate it however you wanted, but you weren’t planning on setting roots here.

Only a handful of doors were locked and off limits, so you were extra curious about those. By now you had a good idea which rooms you couldn’t get into, so you’d always try to open them throughout the day, hoping to maybe catch one open. It took a bit, but you eventually got lucky. You quickly looked around to make sure you were alone, then slowly opened the door. You quietly listened, trying to figure out if anyone was inside, but it seemed to be your lucky day. You stepped in and didn’t even think to close the door as you realized what was in here. All types of weapons surrounded you. So many guns and blades hanging on the wall, a few things locked behind a cage, but this was what you had been looking for.

Surely something here could help you escape. Although before you could take another step you felt something cold against your neck. You were no longer alone. While you were distracted by your own thoughts someone noticed the open door and found you standing in one of their secret rooms. Of course it was only logical to assume you were an intruder and treat you as such. You swallowed nervously as you realized the object against your throat was a knife. You carefully looked over, seeing Eric gazing at you with a bright glint in his eyes and a cocky smirk. He only pressed the blade further against your flesh.

“Look what I have here. How did you get in here?”

“… the door was open…”

“You expect me to believe that?”

“… you… you think I picked the lock?”

“Hm, I suppose that’s true. So, what do you think?”

“… ah… about what?”

“This room. You must be terrified seeing all this, or perhaps excited. Although I’ll let you know right now, you’re out of luck.”

“I-”

“You better watch it.” Eric growled. “You wouldn’t want to get hurt.”

Eric chuckled and moved the knife away from your throat, although he merely had it ghost over your chest before moving it up to your face, dragging the dull end along your cheek.

“Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you.”

“…”

“In fact, I really want to do the opposite.”

“… huh…?”

Before you could really process what Eric was talking about he leaned in close and pressed his lips to yours. You tried to move away, but he followed, and ultimately pinned you against a wall. The knife clattered to the floor and he pinned your arms to the wall as well. He only pulled away from you when he needed to catch his breath. A big smile adorned Eric’s face as he pressed his head against yours.

“I’ve been waiting to do that.”

“… why…”

“That’s your question?” Eric chuckled. “You are interesting, but don’t you think the answer is obvious.”

“… is it?”

“Why do you think we went through all the trouble to bring you here, hm?”

“Cause I saw too much…”

“You mean all of this? No, no, if we cared for that you’d be dead.”

“Then…”

“Is it really that hard? I guess I should show you.”

“Wat-”

Eric shoved you to the floor, and soon enough he was on top of you, kissing you once more. His hands were at your hips, one slipping under your shirt, making you shiver from the skin to skin contact. Soon enough his lips were against your throat, sucking and nibbling on the skin, starting to mark you up. You squirmed beneath his touch, your hands above your head, moving about when you felt something against your fingers. It was the blade Eric had dropped. You cautiously reached for it, getting a grip on the handle. Just as you were about to make a move Eric’s hand quickly pinned down your wrist, a low chuckle escaping his lips.

“Did you really think that would work?”

Eric placed a chaste kiss against your cheek, keeping your wrist pinned and reaching over with his other hand to take the blade from you. He remained on top of you, using his body weight to keep you pinned. He twirled the knife in his hands, looking down at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“You know, we want to give you everything, and yet how have you acted? You’ve been avoiding us and giving us the silent treatment, and now you break into our little armory. I think it’s about time you’re punished for your actions.”

Before you could process Eric got off you and proceeded to flip you over, cuffing your hands behind your back. He got you to your feet, dragging you along, out of the room and down the hall. Soon enough you were in the living room, avoiding the gazes of the others who were around. Eric shoved you onto the couch and then the tip of the knife was under your chin.

“How do you think we should punish you?”

“What’s all this?” Sunwoo asked. “What punishment?”

“You know, for ignoring us, and breaking into the armory.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s cause for punishment. Not sure about the knife though.”

“Well, I need her to behave.”

“But there’s still no need for such things.”

Sangyeon entered the room, having gotten a message about the show going on in the house. Soon enough the others joined too and he could see how you tried to make yourself small. He didn’t want you to be afraid, or feel threatened by them, so seeing Eric playing around with a knife was very much not allowed. He went over to the younger boy and took the item from him, throwing it and embedding it in the wall.

“I wasn’t going to hurt her with it.”

“I don’t doubt that, but why don’t you play with something else.”

“Oh, what does the big boss have in mind?” Hyunjae asked. “I’d love to participate.”

“For starters, we have to set the mood. Jacob, you know what I mean.”

“I do indeed. I’ll be right back.”

“She also needs a party favor.”

“Why that?” Juyeon questioned. “Don’t you think that’s risky?”

“It’ll be more fun, for everyone.”

You had no idea what any of that meant, but you knew it couldn’t be good. There was no point even attempting to run off as everyone was in the room with you. A while later Jacob returned with a small case in hand, giving it to Sangyeon. The eldest opened it up, revealing a needle. You instinctively tried to move, unaware of what the contents the needle contained.

“We’re not gonna hurt you.” Sangyeon assured. “Hold her.”

Kevin and Changmin reached over to hold you still as Sangyeon emptied out the needle into your neck. You did your best to squirm, but there was nothing you could do.

“What is that! What did you give me!?”

“You’ll see soon enough.” Kevin teased. “Now the party favor, right?”

“Give her a moment.” Sangyeon said. “Then she can have it.”

“Have what? What are you guys talking about!”

“Just be patient.”

You cut yourself off before saying more as you began to feel different. Your face was beginning to burn, and you felt this heat overtaking you. Now it was obvious what they had given you, and it wasn’t hard to guess what came next. You couldn’t help but squirm in your restraints, starting to get annoyed by your own clothes, but unable to remove them. You felt rather pathetic too, giving in so easily to the drug, but it was really clouding your head and making everything fuzzy.

“Now for the next part.”

“I call dibs!” Chanhee volunteered. “Come here, baby.”

You were vaguely aware of Chanhee as he approached you, but you didn’t know what he was doing. That is until he leaned in to kiss you. At first you thought it was a normal kiss, his tongue forcing your lips to part, but then you felt something in your mouth, and before you knew it you had swallowed it. That got enough sense in you that you pulled away from Chanhee, immediately coughing and bending over, hoping to throw it back up, but that wasn’t an option. Chanhee placed a hand over your mouth, forcing you to sit back up.

“Don’t be wasteful.”

You were worried about what else they had added to the mix. Chanhee didn’t move his hand away until he was certain you wouldn’t be able to throw up the substance you had taken. You still coughed when you had a chance, but you knew it was far too late for that.

“What did you give me!”

“You’ll feel it in a moment.” Haknyeon giggled. “And you’ll like it.”

“… wa… what does that-”

You inhaled sharply as you felt this wave of energy surge through your body. There was the heat of arousal, but this was something else, something more. You were merely taking in the feeling when you snapped your arms free, having broken the chain of your restraints. You fell from the couch onto your hands and knees, shocked over what you had just done. You vaguely made out the sounds of laughter around you, looking up to see the boys with smiles on their faces. Your head was spinning, and you felt a hand on your shoulder which caused you to act. In the blink of an eye you had Changmin pinned beneath you.

“Feels good, doesn’t it?”

“What… what is this… what did you give me?”

“Power.” Changmin chuckled. “At least now we won’t break you.”

The boy freed himself from your grasp and flipped your positions. He gave you a devilish grin before ripping your shirt open. Your hands immediately covered your chest and then you moved to shove Changmin off you. To your surprise you had the strength to do so, knocking him to the ground. He just laughed, not at all fazed by your actions. You stared at your hands again, seeing the remains of the handcuffs on your wrists. If you were really strong like them now, then this was your chance. Just as you were about to run, Younghoon came up from behind, wrapping his arms around you and holding you in a hug. You tried to break free, but he held you tightly, making you question your own strength and his.

“You may be strong,” Younghoon whispered. “But you don’t match us.”

Hyunjae stepped in front of you, his hands gliding over your bare chest. He stopped over your crotch area, his fingers undoing your shorts and a hand slipping into your pants. You squirmed back against Younghoon, but he held you still.

“You’re supposed to be drunk off love.” Hyunjae commented. “Shall I help?”

“Let go.”

“The surge of power probably overtook the aphrodisiac. I’ll fix that.”

You kept your squirming so Hyunjae opted to slide your shorts down, leaving you in your panties for a moment before having them torn off. You shivered from the sudden cold feeling, trying to close your legs but Hyunjae forced them open.

“Be a good girl now, or else you won’t get a treat.”

You couldn’t say anything as Hyunjae’s fingers ran up and down along your folds, making you hold back a moan. You weren’t knowledgeable in this area, and had little to no experience. There wasn’t much time, or interest in the matter, both from you and other parties. This was certainly going to be a first for many things. You still tried to move away, but the more Hyunjae played around with you the harder it was to think.

“… please…”

“Please what? I think you can still use words.”

“… please…”

“Are you a virgin baby? Don’t know what to ask for?”

“…”

“You are, aren’t you? Oh, don’t worry baby, we’re gonna take very good care of you.”

“I wanna do it! I wanna go first!” Chanhee volunteered. “Please, please, I wanna feel her so bad.”

“You guys can fight for it.” Sangyeon mentioned. “Winner takes all. I’ll keep the doll entertained.”

The boys agreed to Sangyeon’s proposal. The eldest took you into his arms, loving your dizzy little state. Your legs were trembling and you were whimpering over the lack of touch. Sangyeon pressed a kiss to your head.

“You good baby?”

“Hm…”

“We’ll play soon, just let the boys have their fun first.”

“We all still get a turn right?” Juyeon questioned. “Even if we don’t win.”

“I’m pretty sure she can keep up with all of us tonight.”

“Good.”

Sangyeon picked you up bridal style, following behind the others. You were subconsciously rubbing your legs together, trying to get back some friction. The moment of power you had was long gone from your mind, the heat engulfing every inch of your skin. It was getting a bit uncomfortable, but the little kisses Sangyeon pressed against your skin felt nice. In your haze all you could think about was them. Even if you had been brought here against your will they hadn’t been cruel to you in any way. They had given you space and let you roam around the house freely, but that was all about to change. You couldn’t fathom the consequences that would come tomorrow, nor did you care. You just wanted to be taken care of in every way possible tonight.

❤

You inhaled sharply as you regained consciousness, feeling a minor throb in your head. You groaned and pushed your head further into the pillow it was resting on, feeling a dull ache all over your body. Once you got yourself together you took in your surroundings. This wasn’t the room you had been given, but going by the decorations and mess, it certainly belonged to one of the boys. Your questions were answered as a hand draped over you and you saw Kevin laying next to you, still asleep or so you thought. He must have felt your gaze on him, or heard you whimpering.

“Morning…”

You didn’t answer, instead moving Kevin’s arm off you and getting out of bed. Although as soon as you stood up you felt dizzy and collapsed to the floor. You managed to catch yourself, getting your hands beneath you, but you winced from a sudden pain in your left hand. You looked down to see a butterfly tattoo on your wrist, one wing blue and the other orange, wrapped up as it was still fresh.

“What… what is this…”

“You might feel sick after your first time…” Kevin mumbled. “Bathroom’s on the left…”

“Huh?”

You weren’t exactly listening, more focused on the new ink you had, but as soon as Kevin mentioned it you felt an ache in your stomach and then you threw up. Kevin groaned when he heard the noise, mustering up the strength to get up. He came over to the other side of the bed, seeing you on your hands and knees.

“My poor baby, come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Kevin grabbed your arm and gently got you up to your feet, keeping you close as he helped you towards the bathroom. He sat you down on the toilet, getting a washcloth and holding it under warm water before using it to clean your mouth. You were out of it after throwing up, feeling unsteady and the headache had gotten worse. You probably figured this is what it felt like to be hungover since you never had alcohol before. Then again you hadn’t been drinking last night, something else entirely had happened.

“I know what will make you feel better.”

After cleaning you up and brushing your teeth Kevin helped you onto your feet again, leading you out of the room and towards the kitchen. The others were already up and gathering around for breakfast. A few didn’t hesitate to place a kiss on your cheek after greeting you. Kevin had you sit at the table, letting you put your head down.

“Rough morning?” Changmin questioned. “She doesn’t look so good.”

“She’s fine, but I’m gonna need to clean my room.” Kevin mentioned.

“Yikes. Well, you choose to take her.”

“It’s whatever.”

You were vaguely aware of all the boys around you, feeling more tired than anything else. You had your arms on the table, and you looked over at the tattoo on your wrist. A part of you still thought you were just imagining things, but the throbbing ache from it told you it was very real.

“Here.” Jacob placed a glass on the table in front of you. “You’ll feel better once you drink this.”

“What is it…”

“Just drink it.”

Jacob helped you sit up, and he held the glass up to your lips. It looked a bit like a watered down blue sports drink, but you parted your lips when you felt the liquid against them, getting a sweet taste and having a few gulps.

“Good girl.”

Your headache certainly wasn’t as bad anymore, so you had no trouble sitting up. Two of the others were finishing setting the table, and the smell of eggs and rice filled the air. You were certainly hungry, but now that you could think straight there were other things on your mind.

“What happened last night…”

“You don’t remember, baby?” Sunwoo chuckled. “Did we fuck you that good.”

“… you… we… we did…”

“You were asking for it by the time we actually got started.” Eric commented. “You were so needy like a bitch in heat.”

“Shut up.” You felt your face burning. “I… I…”

“No need to be shy, baby, we had a good time.”

“I don’t remember…”

“It’ll come to you.” Hyunjae stated. “Just give it a minute. If not, well, I don’t mind jogging your memory.”

“Don’t…”

“Why? You certainly weren’t denying any of us last night.”

“I…”

As the conversation kept going you felt yourself getting nervous. The night must have been insane if you didn’t remember it, especially considering the fact you got a tattoo. You wanted to remember, you had to, because besides the obvious there was something else. You shut your eyes to focus, and when you suddenly felt a hand on your shoulder you jumped, falling out of your seat. That’s when you had a rush of images flash through your mind. Your whole body suddenly felt hot and you remembered what had caused all the aches and pains from last night.

Sangyeon held you close as the others fought for the chance to be your first. He had you on his lap straddling his thigh. He couldn’t help but bounce you up and down, hands on your hips guiding you as he had you gently grind on him as well. It wasn’t long before he had a tent in his pants, but he had enough self control to not act on his own urges. He wanted to make sure his boys still had their reward. You on the other hand were full of sugar, drooling a bit and feeling like cotton candy. You had your eyes shut and head thrown back as you let Sangyeon take control, keeping you so well balanced on the edge. You weren’t aware of the fight going on, more focused on yourself until you felt a kiss on your head.

When you opened your eyes you saw Haknyeon smiling down at you. For a moment you swore he had a busted lip and cut on his cheek but those seemed to fade away right before your eyes. He was out of breath but very happy to see you. He took you from Sangyeon, throwing you over his shoulder and smacking your ass before walking off with you. He took you to his room, tossing you onto the bed. Before you knew it he was on top of you, kissing you roughly and exploring your naked body. You didn’t really feel cold, the heat of arousal kept you warm and now you had Haknyeon to provide you with more warmth.

He had his way with you for a good while, the feeling of his cock sending you spiraling into your first orgasm. You didn’t need much prep as Sangyeon had already got you feeling loose. Another orgasm or two later there were knocks at the door. The winner had gotten his prize so now it was time for the others to have their fun. Juyeon was the one to drag you out of bed, surprised you could still walk on your own. Despite already having a few orgasms you still had the strength and stamina to keep up, although you were more concerned with getting your next high.

You happily went with Juyeon, getting messy with him in his own room. He was excited to show you new things, wanting more than just vanilla sex. Although he wasn’t alone, having Changmin and Chanhee in his room waiting for you. There were hands all over your body, massaging your breasts and thighs as wet kisses were placed all over you. With all that attention you were getting lost in the feeling of pleasure. The only thing that took you out of it was when you felt someone penetrate your core. One after the other stretching you out and making you feel a joy you couldn’t describe. You don’t know how you managed to take on all three of them, but you made it through their endeavors.

The night was still young, and you weren’t done with them. While you lay among the boys, splayed out on the bed, finally getting a moment to rest you felt a hand caress your cheeks. You opened your eyes to Kevin coaxing you awake. He took your hand and pulled you out of the giant cuddle pile, asking if you were having fun. By then words were difficult, but the smile on your face spoke for itself. You two danced around the hall since you were starting to get uneasy on your feet. You were probably heading over to Kevin’s room, but your arm was suddenly grabbed and you were yanked into Hyunjae’s arms. He had started you off early that night, and it was about time he finished that up.

His fingers trailed along your sloppy center, feeling just what kind of mess you had between your legs and eager to add to it. Of course Kevin wasn’t just going to let him have you all to yourself, shoving the two into the nearest bedroom, getting out of his clothes in the process. Everyone’s kiss was unique, some gentle, some rough, some desperate and hungry for you. Hyunjae was the first one to add to the festivities, tying you up against the bed and limiting your movements. You were already feeling sore, but he wasn’t going to let that stop him. While Hyunjae continued to play with your sloppy cunt Kevin was preparing something else.

You felt him trail his fingers along your lips, teasing you before pushing two digits into your mouth. Instinctively you knew to suck on them, letting your tongue swirl around. Kevin was quite proud to see you acting appropriately, and for that you deserved a reward. He pulled his fingers out with a loud pop, letting you whine for a bit before putting something much bigger against your lips. You opened your mouth without question, taking in his whole length inch by inch. Then you felt Hyunjae filling you up, getting stimulated from both ends. You let them take control, just floating on cloud nine as they got another handful of orgasms out of you, making your eyes roll to the back of your head multiple times.

Once you were finally wrapped up in Hyunjae’s arms you were really feeling sore in your legs and jaw. You did want to rest, but as you were dozing off a hand came down and pulled your head off the pillow. You were met with Eric’s piercing gaze, seeing a rather psychotic glint in his eyes. Of course you weren’t gonna get off easy, he still had to punish you for you breaking and entering. You probably should have explained to him at some point you found the door unlocked, but that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon, nor would it matter to him. Despite Hyunjae’s protest Eric took you to his own room.

Although it wasn’t long before you were joined by another. Sunwoo had crawled into bed, pulling you into his arms and snuggling against you. He wanted to be soft and sweet but Eric had other plans. Took a bit of talking but he got Sunwoo on board. Next thing you knew you were on top of Sunwoo, barely able to make out his words of praise. His hands ran up and down along your chest, taking your breasts into his hands and massaging them ever so gently. You mewled at his touch, gently rocking your hips. You were exhausted, but your body still craved more friction. Eric placed his hands on your hips, guiding you down onto Sunwoo’s cock, making sure you took in everything.

He gave you a moment to revel in the feeling before bending you over. You didn’t know what he was planning until he pushed himself into you right alongside Sunwoo. The stretch was like nothing before, and you swear you saw white for a moment. You leaned back against Eric, giggling as he whispered dirty things in your ear. They gave you a moment to adjust and really feel them before they started moving. They tried to be gentle and slow at first but their own burgers got the better of them. You felt like they were tearing you apart, but in a good way. Your orgasms all blended together, and all you remembered was ending up sandwiched between them, still full with their cocks and cum while you all wound down from your high.

One moment you were in bed, the next you were in someone else’s arms. You could barely make out Sangyeon as he carried you bridal style, but the smile was obvious. You snuggled against him, not wanting to let go when he set you down. You felt hands on your body once more, and not just too. A hand grabbed your chin and you locked eyes with Jacob. He had such a content smile on his face, placing soft kisses all over you. The eldest of the bunch had been patiently waiting to finish you off. You were already at your limits but they pushed you past that, taking you in whatever way you saw fit.

Younghoon had you bouncing up and down on him, making deeper bruises on your hips. Jacob was gentler and such a tease as he took you from behind while you stayed on top of Younghoon, letting the other watch the show. Sangyeon though, he dragged you out of bed and took you against the wall, surprising you with his strength and resolve. He didn’t let up, making sure you were still enjoying yourself even if you were so far gone. It wasn’t easy to close your legs, and you felt so full you swear your stomach was a bit bigger. You thought you’d finally get to sleep, but you weren’t going to be left alone just yet.

You could vaguely recall Sangyeon getting you into a bath with him, cleaning you up and making sure you were well cared for after such a night. Kevin had found the two of you and helped with getting you dressed. Everyone else was mostly out for the night. Kevin’s room was one that wasn’t used to so he offered to share his bed, happily taking you with so the two of you could sleep together. You didn’t hesitate to snuggle against him, still feeling sore but glad to finally wind down and rest. It was quite impressive you made it through such a night. You knew you’d probably be all kinds of bruised tomorrow, but that was a problem for later.

You couldn’t help the dopey smile on your face as you remembered all of this, all the things you had done the night prior. It was like nothing you had ever experienced before, and you didn’t even know if you’d get close to it ever again. Although you quickly had to tell yourself to get your act together. Even if you now remembered what you had done, you could look back and see what was bothering you. The boys had given you an aphrodisiac, but there was something else too. You sat up, lifting up your shirt and seeing that you had no bruise or marks of any kind. Your skin was untouched, but you knew that shouldn’t be the case. While you were lost in your own head Juyeon and Eric helped you get back in your seat.

“Are you okay, baby?” Eric asked. “Did you remember something?”

“Last night…”

“Oh, that’s good. Wouldn’t want to be the only one to remember how capable you are.”

“What did you give me?”

“Ah that, it was good, right?”

“What was it!?”

“Power.” Jacob stated. “True power.”

“It was a drug.”

“So is ibuprofen, your point?”

“What exactly did you give me?”

“I already told you. Power. Don’t you remember? You broke the handcuffs with ease, you kept up with all of us. Despite how rough some of them might have been, you don’t have a single bruise on your body.”

“…”

“It’s temporary.” Younghoon assured. “You’re back to normal now. Although, if you ever want more, you just have to ask. Only the first one is free.”

You needed a moment, you needed to be alone. Without saying anything you left the table, finding the nearest open room and locking yourself inside. You felt a bit sick, coming to terms with the fact they had given you some sort of unknown drug. Now you only had the lingering taste of that power high. You didn’t want to believe what they had told you, but you had felt, and moreover you had seen it too. That night at the warehouse, the incredible strength they displayed, it was all real and now you knew how. Whatever drug this was, they used it a lot. You had your suspicions about their business, especially once you saw all the weapons. If they were some kind of gang in the area, they certainly had their advantage to stay in power.

All this speculation just gave you more reason to want to leave. Even if they were good to you, the kind of life they lived wasn’t something you wanted to be a part of. After that night you continued to avoid them, not wanting to form any kind of lasting attachment. They certainly gave you space, but were a bit more willing to try for your attention, especially since they had no problem getting handsy with you now. From what you did get, they seemed to be so fun, but you couldn’t just drop the idea of escape. Your biggest problem was that ankle bracelet you had, but it seemed the solution was around the corner.

One day you overheard a few of the boys talking about a potential party at the house. Of course you came up as a subject since they weren’t sure they could trust you to behave. A party would be a great opportunity, so you had to make sure you were allowed to attend. In order for that to happen you had to engage with them and socialize, show them that you could behave. You really had to let your guard down and be friendly with them. You rejected any advances they made and they respected that, probably very happy that you were done giving them the cold shoulder. Eventually the party came up in conversation around you, so you offered to help with planning and set up. They happily agreed.

You made sure a lot of alcohol was purchased, and intended to get them drunk. This was going to be your night, but in order to do this you needed one key ingredient. You needed the ankle bracelet off, and fast, and the only real solution you saw was that drug. You had broken handcuffs with ease, so with that kind of power you’d break the ankle bracelet quickly and then get out before they even knew you were gone. The only problem was that you had to ask for it, and not get denied. You didn’t see why they would say no, but you also needed to make sure you didn’t arouse suspicion.

The day of the party you helped with setting up, popping open a bottle of vodka and taking a small sip before pouring shots for the others. They happily took the drink you offered, cheering to a night of fun. You needed to pick one of them and you figured your best bet would be Eric. You kept your eye on him and waited for your chance. People were starting to come to the house, so you figured things would be getting started soon. You found Eric and got him alone, coming up from behind and wrapping your arms around him in a hug. He was a bit startled at first, but happy to see you, placing a kiss on your head.

“Eric.”

“Hm?”

“I want tonight to be fun.”

“It will be.”

“But you know what would guarantee it?”

“What?”

“If I got to be strong like the rest of you…”

“Ah, you want a special party favor, huh?”

“It should last me all night right? How else am I gonna keep up with all of you?”

“Good point, but promise you’ll behave.”

“Pinky promise.”

“Good girl.”

Eric took your hand and led you to another room. It was another armory they had, and he told you to stay put as he got something out of a safe. He presented a pill to you, telling you to open your mouth. Your plan had been to take it later when you were ready to act, but Eric wasn’t going to let you leave without consuming it. As far as you knew, it lasted a few hours, so you should be okay either way, but you were gonna have to act the first chance you got. You gave Eric a smile and took the pill. After a moment you felt this spark of power run through your whole body. It made you dizzy for a second but Eric assured you the uneasiness would pass and you’d be your normal self, just better.

Soon enough the party began and things got wild fast. You made it a point not to drink, but you still hung around the boys, wanting to engage with them for a bit before disappearing. As the night was getting on, you started to iron out the finer details of your escape. When you had a chance you glanced outside, seeing all the cars parked around. You considered taking one, but you didn’t know how to drive. What you needed was to get your hands on a phone, figure out your location and call a cab. With everyone around drinking and having a good time, it shouldn’t be hard to sneak a phone, and money, off someone.

You kept in mind the time, keeping an eye out for someone vulnerable, and occasionally testing your strength to make sure you were still able to break free. You stuck around those that were drinking, getting friendly with someone and managing to snatch their phone. You cautiously snuck away to get some privacy, finding a bathroom. You managed to unlock the phone and checked the address. Thankfully you weren’t so far from civilization and called for a cab. You had about fifteen minutes to get out of this house, and the first thing you needed to do was get that ankle bracelet off.

You sat down on the floor and figured out a good grip, taking in a deep breath before pulling and breaking the bracelet in half. You thought maybe some noise would be made or something, but it was silent. Lucky was on your side. You tossed the broken thing in the trash and made your way out of the bathroom, needing to get outside. Part of the party was in the backyard, but it wasn’t a good idea to go around, so you had to exit through the front. The door itself might not be the best, but you could give it a shot. If not, you had no problem jumping out a window. Thankfully you got away from the house undetected, checking the phone and then leaving it by a car before heading to the main road.

When you saw the lights of the cab you were finally able to let out a breath. It brought such relief to be moving away from the house, free from your captivity. The cab took you back to the only place you could go, to your uni campus. You had been gone for a little over two weeks, but hopefully nothing had gotten messed up in your absence. You knocked on the door for your roommate to let you in, not bothering to answer them about your recent whereabouts. You were so happy to collapse into your bed, even if it wasn’t as comfortable, feeling like you could finally get some real sleep.

Thankfully a good amount of your things had been in your dorm room, but you would need a new phone, and new cards. Come morning you got to emailing your professors with some basic excuse of being ill and asking for assignments to make up. Out of curiosity you tested your strength, but you were back to being a normal person. At least you had money, so you could afford a new ID card, and even though you could afford a new phone, that involved leaving campus. You knew the guys couldn’t just waltz onto school property, and they didn’t know where your dorm was, so this was the safest place for you. By now they sure knew you were gone and probably pissed, which meant you were in danger.

Your best bet for now was to wait, just let this all die down and maybe they would forget about you and move on. The bright side to not having a phone was that they had no means of reaching you. As for your classes, you still had your laptop and could email classmates and do assignments. It was kinda hard going back to your lectures as if nothing had happened. Of course you had a decent amount of work to catch up on, and your grades were gonna take a hit, but at least you were free. Even if that was true, you did have this uneasy feeling. You felt paranoid, like you were always being watched. You couldn’t sleep that easy anymore, and you felt quite irritable. Still you did your best to just focus on being a normal university student.

“Nice tattoo.”

You were taking notes in a class when someone had made the comment. At first you were confused, but then you remembered the butterfly tattoo on your wrist. You never asked about it, not remembering how you got it anyway. After that night of passion you were out cold, and they had probably done it then. It was the least of your worries and even now you had completely forgotten about it until someone brought it up. The tattoo wasn’t a bother, but it wasn’t your thing, nor did you want any sort of connection to them. You did a bit of research and made a call to set up an appointment with a tattoo artist to have your tattoo removed. It was risky to go out, but you wanted that thing gone.

You made sure to cover up and hide your face, constantly checking your surroundings to make sure you weren’t being followed. This little outing of yours was dangerous, but if it wall went down in one piece you could probably start to relax. Since you were out, you figured you could get a new phone too. After the tattoo removal of course. Thankfully you made it to the shop without issue, introducing yourself and being moved to the back. You were glad there weren’t any windows where you were seated, so you felt less worried about removing your jacket, hat and mask. The chair you were in was like a dentist chair, but it was quite cozy.

“Alright, I’m Hongjoong, I’ll be your artist today, although I believe you’re here for a tattoo removal.”

“Yeah, just a crazy night, and I made a mistake.”

“No worries. Can you show me where the tattoo is?”

“Sure.” You rolled up your sleeve. “It’s this.”

“Oh…”

“Is there a problem?”

“No, no, not at all. It’s pretty.”

“I want it gone.”

“Yeah, of course. I will need to strap down your arm though.”

“What!?”

“Removing a tattoo isn’t painless and considering it is on your wrist, I don’t want you moving too much during the process.”

“Ah, that makes sense. Alright then.”

“Good. Just give me a second.”

Hongjoong got up and disappeared for a moment, coming back and using a belt to strap down your arm. He made sure it wasn’t uncomfortable, and that it should allow him to work without issue. He got up once again, giving you a chance to collect yourself. Although when he returned he grabbed your other arm and strapped it down as well.

“What are you doing!?”

You tried to fight him, but your other arm was already restrained. Hongjoong didn’t answer you, he just made sure you couldn’t escape and then left you alone. You screamed at him, then started crying for help, hoping someone else would come, but there was no one. You continued your attempt of escape, but it got you nowhere. When you heard the door you started screaming again. You heard footsteps approaching, thinking you were finally gonna get some help but you immediately went silent when you saw who approached.

“Well, well, well, look what we have here.”

“I didn’t harm her.” Hongjoong commented.

“Good. I’m glad we’re still on the same page.” Sangyeon chuckled. “Care to explain yourself, baby?”

You didn’t want to meet Sangyeon’s gaze, but you could feel his eyes digging into you. He didn’t need a response from you. Instead he had the other boys gag you and then untie you, dragging you out of the shop. You wound up in the back of a car, sandwiched between Changmin and Younghoon, knowing very well their strength outmatched you, so there was no escaping them. Of course you wound up back at that house. You were dragged inside and taken down below, thrown into an empty room. You got the gag off yourself and tried to run for the door, only to get tossed back.

“What the hell were you thinking!” Sangyeon yelled. “Did you really think a stunt like that would work!?”

“I got out of this house, didn’t I?”

“Oh, aren’t you quite cocky for a dead girl walking.”

“What?”

“You’re doing much better than we thought.” Hyunjae mentioned. “We thought you’d be hospitalized by now.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Did you forget again?” Eric questioned. “The night of the party you asked for power. I should have known better.”

“You were the easiest target.”

“You bitch!”

Eric wanted to get a hit, but he was held back by Juyeon and Sunwoo. You were putting on quite a brave act, but the truth was you were terrified. You had done well to avoid their grasp, but in the end they still caught you.

“What the fuck do you guys want with me! And what’s with this talk about death? Are you gonna kill me this time?”

“Oh no, none of that.” Jacob said. “But the truth is you are dying. Haven’t you felt it?”

“Felt what?”

“The withdrawal.”

“Huh?”

“What? You think taking drugs doesn’t have its consequences?”

“I… what?”

Chanhee chuckled. “After using the drug you’re supposed to take something else to negate the side effects. Remember the little hangover cure we gave you the first time?”

“… why didn’t you tell me this!”

“Why would we? It’s a means of keeping you in line.”

“You-”

“It seems it hasn’t hit you that hard yet, but it’s only gonna get worse. Surely you’ve had trouble sleeping by now, maybe feeling irritable and jumpy? It’s the withdrawal.”

“…”

“You’re gonna start feeling really sick soon.” Juyeon mentioned. “And it’s possible to get to a point of no return. We wouldn’t want you dying, now would we?”

“Where is it! Where’s this cure of yours!”

“Do you seriously think we’re just gonna give it to you? After the stunt you pulled?”

“You’re the ones who knowingly put my life in danger!”

“You asked for it. You asked for all of it. A night of passion like never before, and a night of power. Don’t blame us.”

“Fine. What do you want?”

“Seriously?” Haknyeon questioned. “Is it not obvious?”

“Amuse me.”

“You, silly. We want you, and we’ll do anything to get you back.”

“So if you want your cure.” Kevin added. “No more running away.”

“And if I refuse?”

“Oh, you really wanna play with your life? We can always come back to this conversation when sunlight starts to hurt you.”

“Wait.”

“Hm?”

“I… I’ll stay… but…”

“This isn’t a negotiation.” Sunwoo stated.

“I want to go back to school.”

“What?”

“I still want to be able to study and get my degree. You can drop me off and pick me. I won’t-”

“I said-”

“Sure.” Sangyeon interrupted. “Why not.”

“Sangyeon-”

“Hand it over.”

The others stared at Sangyeon with questioning looks, not really agreeing with his decision, but he wasn’t gonna hear anything else. Jacob came over and handed him a water

bottle with a similar blue sports drink color. Sangyeon opened it up and handed it to you.

“Drink it. Every last drop.”

This was what they had given you last time, so you did trust it. You emptied out the water bottle, immediately feeling this tension leaving you body. Perhaps all your worries weren’t just in your head, but part of the side effects to this drug of theirs.

“Better?”

“Yes.”

“Now we can talk.”

“Wat-”

You were suddenly shoved up against the wall, hand around your throat. Sangyeon had you pinned, glaring daggers at you. It was hard to breathe, and you tried clawing at his arm but he didn’t budge at all.

“You know, the second you broke that ankle bracelet we knew, but our guests kept us distracted so you got very lucky. That won’t be happening again.”

“I… I’ll… I’ll come… back…”

Sangyeon chuckled. “It’s funny you think I’m actually letting you set foot outside this house again.”

“You… you-”

“I make the rules here. The thing is, you just don’t get it.”

Sangyeon grabbed your arm, holding up your wrist to show you the tattoo you had. He leaned forward to place a soft kiss on it.

“This right here, it’s how we found you. It’s our mark, it lets everyone know who you belong to. Our people are everywhere, so even if you did end up in the hospital, you’d wind up right back here where you belong with us. It doesn’t matter where you go, we will find you.”

Sangyeon dropped you to your hands and knees and you gasped for air. You coughed as you tried to steady your breathing, realizing everything else that had been said previously was a lie. There was no getting out of this place, not again. After a moment Sangyeon kneeled down and grabbed your chin.

“Baby, I want you, even if I have to hurt you.”

“… why…”

“Cause you came into our lives, and you’re too good to pass up.”

“… please…”

“Don’t lie to yourself. As if you truly want to leave and return to that boring life of yours. Stay. Let us take care of you and treat you the way you deserve.”

“…”

“You’ll come around. In the meantime.” Sangyeon pulled out a pill. “Take this.”

“I… you just…”

“An ankle bracelet won’t work with you, so might as well use different means. Go on now.”

There wasn’t much of a choice here. If you didn’t do it willingly you knew Sangyeon would force it down your throat. So you took the pill, feeling that spark once more.

“Good girl. You can keep up with us better this way, and now you know you won’t last long out there if you were to leave again. Which is not gonna happen, right?”

“No…”

“I need you to say it.”

“I won’t run away again…”

“Good. You won’t regret meeting us, I promise.”

“I do.”

“Watch it. You don’t want us to test your limits again, do you? Or maybe you do. I don’t mind having a brat in this house.”

“… sorry… I… I didn’t…”

“Much better, although we do need to carry out your punishment for running away. Last time was nothing compared to this, so I hope you’re ready. You won’t be sleeping tonight.”

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ladycaramelswirl · 1 month

Text

It Happened in Texas

Aaron Hotchner x Fem Reader ❤︎ Chapter 1: Apparently you have a magnet for shitty bosses

series masterlist

A/N: For plot purposes, Haley is not in the picture, but Jack does appear later in the story. Also I gave Strauss some of Linda Barnes’s personality so she’s really annoying :)

Tags/Warnings: mentions of violence typical to Criminal Minds. This becomes a comedy in chapter 2, but chapter 1 is very world/character-buildy, sorry 😭 It gets funnier I swear 🤡

The case in this chapter is loosely based on s3e8.

word count: 2k

Enjoy! 🤍

❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎❤︎

“Absolutely not”.

The dark-haired man tries to rein in his barely concealed anger at his boss, who, honestly, you weren’t exactly a huge fan of right now either. He gestures to you.

“I don’t know anything about her. It’s my job to decide whether someone is a good fit for the team”, he scowls. Frankly, you’re impressed that he hasn’t exploded.

“Agent Hotchner, I have hired her because I think she’s perfectly capable of doing the job”.

You swallow a scoff. Sure. That’s why.

“My decision is final. And you have a case to get to”, Strauss snaps.

Agent Hotchner glares at her as she walks away. Then he turns his stare to you.

“We’re leaving for a case in 10 minutes. Do you have your go bag?”, he asks, not unkindly.

“Yes sir.”

He nods and walks towards the BAU bullpen. You follow him.

“I trust you’ll keep this altercation between us”, he tells you. “I don’t want the team to be distracted”.

“Yes, sir”.

“Just call me Hotch.”

“Yes, s- Hotch”.

He’s being pretty nice given the situation he’s been put in. But you wonder, not for the first time today, if you should have turned down this job.

————————————

15 minutes ago

“Come in”.

You step into the office of the blonde woman you’d interviewed with. She had been quite pleasant then.

“Assistant Director Strauss”, you greet her.

“Agent. Take a seat. I’d like to discuss some things before I introduce you to your unit chief”.

You wonder what the unit chief is like. You’d heard great things about Aaron Hotchner from your former colleagues.

“As I’m sure you know this position at the BAU is a highly coveted opportunity”, she starts.

“Yes ma’am”.

“I’d like you to be comfortable here, so I hope we can work together to make that happen”.

Oh?

“Thank you ma’am. I’ll do my best.”

“Excellent! I’ll be expecting an additional personal report for all of your cases.”

“I’m sorry?”

She smiles at you like you’re stupid.

“Agent Hotchner might run a tight ship, but it’s my job to make sure it runs smoothly”, she tells you. “So I just need you to give me details about your cases. No need to mention it to Agent Hotchner, just write the report and send it straight to me.”

“You want me to report on the team? Without telling them?”

This was not what you signed up for.

She laughs mirthlessly.

“It’s just a report agent. Think of it as a … peer evaluation. I just want to make sure there’s no issues. I’m sure you would understand. Especially after what happened in Houston?”

You grit your teeth. Of course she knew.

“Yes ma’am”.

You try to smile.

“I knew I was right to hire you”, she says.

You both know you’re only here because she was the only one who accepted your transfer request.

“Agent. If this conversation leaves this room, you’ll have to understand why I can no longer keep you on this team”.

Fantastic. You were already getting threatened on your first day.

You plaster on a smile.

“Of course.”

She smiles back, just as fake.

“Great. Now I’ll introduce you to Agent Hotchner. You’ll have to forgive him for his … attitude”, she says contemptuously. “He’s going through a rough time”.

And now your boss was moody too? You were regretting come here by the second.

Strauss presses the intercom button on her phone.

“Send him in”.

The door is opened by a tall, handsome man. He’s maybe in his late 30s, and he’s well dressed. He has authority figure written all over him, but he looks confused to see you.

“Assistant Director?”, he greets. You suspect it’s not often that he’s walked into a situation where he doesn’t know what’s happening. An exception being right now.

“Agent Hotchner, come in. I’d like you to meet Agent Y/L/N”.

He stretches a hand forward and you shake it.

“Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise”.

He looks at Strauss.

“What is this about?”

Strauss looks like she’s holding back a grin.

“She’ll be joining the BAU effective immediately”.

Agent Hotchner looks like he’s just been handed a bomb.

————————————

Present

He doesn’t talk to you at all as you’re climbing into the jet. The team don’t pretend to hide their shock at your arrival. Hotch quickly introduces you and then takes a seat at the back. You politely smile at their wide eyes, but inside you try to fight the urge to turn around and go kick Strauss in the shin. She didn’t even tell them she was hiring you. Unbelievable. This day could not get any worse. The team starts asking you all sorts of questions. Hotch cuts them off.

“That’s enough. Brief us on the case JJ”.

They all follow his directive immediately. A pretty blonde woman who must be JJ hands everyone on the team a file. There’s a pause as everyone realises you don’t have one, because she didn’t know you would be here. A dark haired woman who introduces herself as Emily offers to share hers with you. You smile at her gratefully and try to be invisible as JJ briefs the team.

—————————

Your first case is in Bridgewater, Florida. A girl has been found with her body eaten by alligators, her fingers cut off and a pentagram carved into her chest. It’s not exactly a great first day welcome. Hotch comes back from the coroner’s office with news that the victim had been force fed fingers before her death. And that none of them were hers, and six of them are index fingers. Remember when you thought your day couldn’t get any worse? This was definitely worse. You wince at the news and Emily looks at you with concern.

“You okay?”

You nod, but notice JJ and Agent Morgan discreetly share a dubious look. The latter turns to face you.

“Field offices aren’t exactly the same as the BAU. If you’re not up to it-“

“I’m fine. I’d just like to catch the guy that did this”, you tell him.

You refuse to look weak or feed into the suspicion that you don’t deserve to be here. Morgan stares at you before nodding in agreement and moving away to look over some files. You do the same to avoid any more conversation, and then notice something strange. You pull out a photo.

“This crime scene shows the books the victim was carrying were arranged into a neat row. This specific placement could suggest the unsub was at some point in a mental institution”.

Morgan looks doubtful, but still takes a look.

Agent Reid springs up. “Of course! When the severely mentally ill are institutionalised, they’re taught to keep things clean and neat to promote order, exactly like the books in that photo!”

You’re a little speechless at his enthusiasm, but it seems his confirmation convinces the team, who now look a little less skeptical about your abilities. They call Garcia to check for names and update Hotch. Garcia calls back about a specific mental institution for a case like the one you’re looking for. Hotch immediately stands up to leave.

“Reid, let’s go”, he orders. The young genius scuttles after him.

They find a name for the unsub, Floyd Feylinn Ferrel - a cannibal that believes he’s possessed by a flesh eating demon. He was also at the search party earlier to look for a missing girl. The team finds him, but one victim is still missing - Tracy Lambert. Floyd refuses to talk without Father Marks, the priest at his church. They bring him into the interrogation room with Morgan while you and Rossi pore over the sign in sheets from the search party. You frown.

“Somethings wrong”, you mutter. The older agent looks at you in confusion.

“He signed the volunteer sheet, but not the search team sheet. It doesn’t make sense”, you say, handing him the papers. Usually unsubs joined the search team. Why would he just volunteer to be there?

“Father, I feel so alone. Like God has abandoned me”, Floyd laments.

The priest shakes his head kindly. “You are not alone, my son. God is in all of us”.

Your stomach drops as you see exactly what Floyd had volunteered for - the food station.

“We need to stop the interview”, you panic, flinging open the interrogation room door.

Floyd stares right at you and grins.

“So is Tracy Lambert”.

—————————

The plane ride back is quiet. You thankfully hadn’t eaten anything at the search, but you still feel nauseous. Is this what all BAU cases were like? Maybe it wasn’t too late to reapply somewhere else? Your unit chief interrupts your thoughts.

“Good job today Reid, we wouldn’t have caught him if you hadn’t noticed the books”, he says. You freeze in your seat, but the younger agent doesn’t notice your discomfort. In fact he barely looks up from his book to correct the unit chief.

“Actually it wasn’t me that figured it out. It was y/n”.

Hotch looks taken aback and he turns to you, which leads to some awkward eye contact. He looks pained, but he gives you a nod and then moves to the back of the plane.

Emily nudges your elbow from her seat next to yours.

“You did good today. He’ll come around”, she tells you.

“I really didn’t know that no one was informed of my transfer-”, you try to explain, but she stops you.

“I know better than anyone how you feel right now. As long as you do your job and are loyal to the team, everything’s going to be fine”.

You nod.

“Look, today was a rough case. We’re going for drinks when we land. Want to come?”, she offers.

You think about the report you’re about to write for Strauss tonight, detailing everything that just happened today. It’s going to take you hours to make sure it doesn’t incriminate anyone on the team.

“No, I’m tired, but thanks. You guys have fun”.

On the drive home, you realise that you won’t ever be friends with them. You were a spy, even if you didn’t want to be.

You had come here to escape. Instead, you had just traded one prison for another.

————————————

Emily enters Penelope’s office to pick her up before drinks.

Penelope greets her with a guilty look.

“Ok. I did something, but don’t be mad. I looked into her file”.

“Pen!”

“What? She’s new, I don’t like new. And we don’t know anything about her. Don’t you want to know how she got hired without Hotch’s approval?”

Emily raises an eyebrow.

“I was hired without Hotch’s approval.”

Penelope gives her puppy eyes and Emily gives in.

“Fine. What did you find?”

The analyst practically lights up.

“Ok, so she graduated the FBI academy with high scores. Went straight to the Houston field office and she was very good at her job - excellent peer reviews and high scores on all of her evaluations”, Penelope starts, putting all of your personal data onto her screen. “Almost everything about her is perfect. Except-“, she clicks on a file. “About two months ago she suddenly requested a transfer to basically every department that was hiring and got rejected by almost all of them. Except ours”.

Emily frowns. “She has stellar performance evaluations but no one wants to hire her? And why was she so desperate to transfer?”

“Yeah, I thought that was weird too, so I looked into it, but there’s nothing. Except that in her last month at Houston, she isn’t listed on a single one of their cases.”

“None?”

“It’s like she didn’t exist, but she was there every day, I checked her attendance and it’s flawless”.

Emily presses her lips together. She remembers how much she had tried to seal her own history.

“I don’t think we should be looking anymore. If whatever happened isn’t in the database, then we aren’t meant to see it. She’ll tell us when she’s ready”.

Penelope looks apprehensive, but she closes the files.

“She’s really nice! And she’s good, she helped us solve the case today”, Emily tries to convince the IT specialist.

“I’m telling you something is fishy”.

Emily might not say it out loud, but she definitely agreed.

❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎ ❤︎

Chapter 2

#criminal minds #bau team #aaron hotchner x reader #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #emily prentiss #spencer reid #derek morgan #penelope garcia #david rossi #criminal minds x reader #jennifer jj jareau

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benjinotes · 2 months

Note

too sweet for me // strong family hcs ?

omg i was waiting for this! (modern au, reader is dating benjicot) based on this!

rhaenyra and harwin had a happy marriage for several years and had four children together: jace, you, luke, and joffrey.

eventually, they chose to have a peaceful divorce, maintaining a respectful and supportive relationship for the sake of you and your brothers.

even after the separation, your parents made a concerted effort to have dinner or lunch with you regularly, ensuring they stayed involved in your lives.

as their only daughter, harwin and rhaenyra make a concerted effort to engage in activities with you, ensuring you don't feel left out. they always dedicate time to try hobbies you enjoy or simply spend quality time with you.

they always spent christmas and other celebrations together with all of you, to avoid forcing any of the children to choose between their parents. although daemon isn't fond of this arrangement, he accepts it for your mother's sake.

you are extremely spoiled by your parents in every aspect of your life, as well as by your siblings and even your stepfather, although he wouldn’t admit it openly. whether it’s a holiday or not, you always receive rewards, whether you pass a test or not, because no one in your family likes to see you sad. :(

and since we're talking about spoiling, we can’t overlook your maternal grandparents! aemma and viserys adore pampering their grandchildren and especially enjoy having them visit. they simply want to keep their grandchildren close.

you and your siblings often argue about who is the grandparents' favorite. (it’s you)

speaking of siblings...

you and luke are the middle siblings in the family. you're just a year younger than jace and three years older than luke, which means you and jace have a closer bond.

although you have a closer relationship with your older brother, this doesn’t mean your bond with your other siblings is affected—in fact, quite the opposite! luke often turns to you for help with his homework or advice on girls or boys—who better to guide him than his older sister, right?

joffrey, on the other hand… he’s a bit of a troublemaker, and you’ve lost count of how many times you’ve had to help your mother when he wouldn’t calm down or screamed until his throat hurt. but despite his chaotic behavior, he’s so adorable that you can’t stay upset with him. i mean—have you seen his little eyes? 😞

jace is a different case. you and him were always close; you were like his shadow, and he was like yours, always going to your school events just as you go to his games. he is your best friend and advisor, however—oh boy—he’s extremely protective. (harwin is proud of this)

and when you started dating one of his friends, his protectiveness skyrocketed to 200%.

jace had to do his best to control himself and avoid hitting someone when he saw you and benji kissing near the college locker room. you swore you had never seen him so red with anger and embarrassment; it was a sight you will never forget.

it was a memorable moment for you, since annoying your brothers always made you laugh, and seeing your boyfriend embarrassed for the first time felt like a double gift.

yet, you still begged your brother not to say anything to your father, fearing that he might remove benji from the team. and even though you knew it was unlikely, you weren’t willing to take the risk.

however, it didn’t last long, as within two weeks your father discovered that his beloved daughter was dating one of his players and called him into his office for a little talk. benji pissed himself.

it was a simple quiz that your dad already knew the answers to. but hey, as a coach, he only had those answers for his job; he felt it was his duty to play the overprotective father too—after all, you’re his baby!

wait until harwin finds out that his baby fucks with her boyfriend; at any change she has —

anyways — your mother, on the other hand, was thrilled when you told her you were dating. however, from the warning glance she gaves benji time to time, it was clear she wouldn’t hesitate to run him over with her car if he ever harmed her only daughter. (jokes on you, rhaenyra, but i think benji would prefer being run over rather than hurting you.) after all, you were her little girl. :’(

as incredible as it may seem, luke, despite witnessing harwin, jace, and even daemon’s murmurs of disgust at the sight of you and your problematic boyfriend, he actually liked him, which made you quite happy.

joffrey also liked benji, but that wasn’t much of a surprise to you, given that he seemed to like anyone who gave him attention.

your family was quite chaotic, but you loved them for it, and perhaps that was why benjicot was so nervous about the dinner your mom had invited him to.

part 2 preview

#benjicot blackwood x reader #benjicot blackwood #benjicot fancast #benjicot x reader #davos blackwood x reader #house of the dragon fanfic

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a-dauntless-daffodil · 2 months

Text

Vaggie: "I can't believe I'm saying this... No. We can't kill him."

Alastor: "Oh I DO believe we can! Between my own illustrious career and your more effective if far less stylish hackjob with those inelegant, messy, uncultured Exorcists, our combined body count at the very LEAST proves that we-"

Vaggie: "Fine. We could, but we won't kill him."

Alastor: "Why EVER not? I brought him all this way, to this dingy back alley, so that we would not sully those TACKY hotel carpets-"

Vaggie: "So Charlie wouldn't see this, you mean."

Alastor: "She cannot POSSIBLY object to what she's not aware of!"

Vaggie: "She'll still be fucking upset when she hears about it afterwards."

Alastor: "Then don't tell her."

Vaggie: "I-"

Alastor: "You are QUITE skilled at that little trick aren't you?"

Vaggie: "Wow yeah, and it worked out SO great for her last time!"

Alastor: "Didn't it? For you certainly it did. She barely takes her hands off you theses days doesn't she. Truely I shudder to imagine what the nights might bring-"

Vaggie: "I brought my spear here because you said you were in danger. I'll make getting a spear in the eye the danger if you say one more word."

Alastor: "Correction! I said I needed help. There is nothing in hell that could leave ME in ANY danger."

Vaggie: "I'm not from hell. Neither was the dick that almost killed you last time."

Alastor: "My point, oh terrifying hotel manager, is that this thing-"

Vaggie: "Don't jab at her ex like that! What the fuck Alastor? You'll leave a hole!"

Alastor: "-he is a loose thread in her life, my dear, and one that might seek to re-entangle himself with her, now the hotel has proven itself not entirely a joke and there is power and influence in Hell on the table, ready for the taking."

Vaggie: "He could also be a fucking ally. Or just a guy minding his own business in Hell-"

Alastor: "Or he could make the hotel HIS business and put YOU out of a job. Yes~?"

Vaggie: "..."

Alastor: "He DID mange that well enough in the past now didn't he?"

Vaggie "... if he can do it better than me, then, fine."

Alastor: "You are gripping your spear rather tightly as you say that."

Vaggie: "I'm trying not to shove it down your throat."

Alastor: "Touching! Oh I DO find you rather amusing my dear, ever SUCH a font of self-inflicted misery and abject, whole-hearted suffering!"

Vaggie: "You bring it out in people."

Alastor: "Don't I? And how I would hate to lose you as a source of daily entertainment!"

Vaggie: "I thought you wanted to kill him to keep him away from Charlie."

Alastor: "Him? Hmmm, no, I doubt he would be an issue. For me."

Vaggie: "Great. So why bother."

Alastor: "To keep YOU around, of course~!"

Vaggie: "You mean, to have something you can tell Charlie I did next time you want her upset and alone and desperate enough to make another fucking deal with you!"

Alastor: "You wound me! Why I would never manufacture such a thing! I didn't need to the first time, did I?"

Vaggie: "... You try killing him, and I WILL stab you."

Alastor: "If you're so worried of entrapment why not head me off and call her right now? Let her bear witness! Or send a, ugh, recording of it directly to her afterwards!"

Vaggie: "How the fuck would that help!?"

Alastor: "Why shouldn't it? Better to ask forgiveness than permission, yes?"

Vaggie: "Oh yeah wonderful idea Alastor, I'll just call her up like- Hey Charlie, guess what sweetie- I did a murder! But you still love me, right???"

Alastor: "She did after the first several THOUSAND."

Vaggie: "That was before I knew her!"

Alastor: "A death is a death. In your case they were all the total destruction of otherwise immortal souls, but in any case,I fail to see how one killing more should make any difference."

Vaggie: "Then you really don't get Charlie at all."

Alastor: "Oho? I 'get' her rather well I think. I got her into Cannibal Town, my dear. I got her to PRECISELY where she is now."

Vaggie: (snorts) "Sure you did."

Alastor: "She would not have the hotel without me."

Vaggie: "Fuck the hotel. If you think our dream is some walls and shitty furniture then you don't get why we're doing this either."

Alastor: "Hmm."

Alastor: "... regardless! Shall we?"

Vaggie: "NO."

Alastor: (sighs) "You are being rather tiresome about this."

Vaggie: "Then you shouldn't have invited me to this creepy wannabe bonding moment thing."

Alastor: "I am TRYING to help you! It feels rather like attempting to prize a poisoned rat carcass from the mouth of that absurd little hotel manifestation you call a CAT."

Vaggie: "Always a compliment to be compared to KeeKee's perfection."

Alastor: "I beg to differ."

Vaggie: "You'll let him go. Now."

Alastor: "Really after I brought the man all the way here, dragging him kicking and screaming through shadows the entire way-"

Vaggie: "Alastor."

Alastor: "-he'll never be the same again anyway at this point. Wouldn't it be so much more KINDER to EnD HIs MISERY~"

Vaggie: "Drop him."

Alastor: "If you insist." (splat)

Vaggie: (groan) "Not drop him LITERALLY into the trash bin-"

Alastor: "Exact words my dear, we are in hell after all. Oh and please DO come crying to me, won't you? When he renews his advances to Charlie, rekindles that old flame, and sweeps her off her cloven hooves with his... well...."

Alastor & Vaggie: (stares at the him)

Alastor: "...I assume he must have SOME merits, somewhere. His well fitted suits, perhaps."

Vaggie: "Charlie... Charlie has standards."

Alastor: "Are we sure?"

Vaggie: "Hey."

Alastor: "Present current standard excluded, of course."

Vaggie: "No, I..." (sigh) "...maybe I'm proof she needs higher standards for dating people, honestly."

Alastor: "Ahhhh. When she dumps you, I hope you will keep in touch. You are so inconsolably self-loathing WHILE in a loving relationship I can only dream of the succulent agonies you will extrude while heartbroken..."

Vaggie: "Who says you can't be a little heartbroken while loving someone." (walking away) "Also, 'succulent'? 'Extrude'?? What the fuck am I Alastor, a fruit gusher candy?"

Alastor: (bangs trash lid down) (following) "Actually I'm afraid I am a bit peckish and was envisioning a delightfully well aged side of venison-"

Vaggie: "Gross."

-night at the hotel-

Charlie: "He WHAT!? Noooo... he didn't..."

Vaggie: "Cross my heart, sweetie. Maybe the fight with Adam knocked something loose in his head."

Charlie: "He hadn't even done any maiming before you got there? He WAITED???"

Vaggie: "I mean emotionally speaking your ex might a kinda scarred from the trip there, but physically? Barely a bump or scratch on him."

Charlie: "That's, that's amazing!"

Vaggie: "Suit was a loss though. Not that that's much of a loss."

Charlie: "Alastor called you AND he waited! AND listened to you! It's like he was outsourcing having a conscious, oh Vaggie that's HUGE! That's- Wait."

Vaggie: "It's a brand new way for him to be a pain in the ass but whatever. Yay."

Charlie: "Wait, Vaggie- What's wrong with Sev's suit? You like MY suits!"

Vaggie: "Your suits look good on you, babe. And best of all they have you in them."

Charlie: "Oh. Heh."

Vaggie: "And I am NOT taking on the job of being that other asshole's conscious. I'm already employed. Plus it's hard enough not to stab him anyway."

Charlie: "What about helping him as his friend?"

Vaggie: "What about him holding out on us until he could get you into making a deal with him sweetie?"

Charlie: "Well. Okay. Yes. He's not... he's still got a ways to go..."

Vaggie: "No shit."

Charlie: "But he COULD have just done the murder and THEN tried getting you involved! And he didn't. He listened when you said no. That's something, right?"

Vaggie: "It's, something alright."

Charlie: "It's improvement!"

Vaggie: "To his morals or his manipulation games?"

Charlie: "We'll find out! But for now..."

Charlie: (scoots closer)

Vaggie: "?"

Charlie: "Maybe, um. Tell me again how you stood between my ex and certain death...?"

Vaggie: "....really? Really."

Charlie: "It sounds like it was VERY cool~"

Vaggie: "It was the lowest effort rescue ever, hun. I think I might have stepped on him a few times. Uh. On accident."

Charlie: "Mm. Still kinda hate him?"

Vaggie: "I'm still open to stabbing him for you if that's what you mean."

Charlie: (giggles) "Only for me though, huh?"

Vaggie: "Sure I, I'll- I'll go do it right now, if you want?"

Charlie: "I've got a better idea of what we could be doing."

Vaggie: "Y-yeah?"

Charlie: "I might have to take my suit off for it, if that's okay~"

Vaggie: "Uhhhh-"

Charlie: "But first!" (hugs gf)

Charlie: "Thanks, Vaggie... For not ignoring Alastor's call, or turning right around and letting him kill someone when he didn't have to. Even when it was my ex."

Vaggie: (melting) "That's just, part of being hotel manager right?"

Charlie: "It's amazing." (squeezes) "I'm so proud of you."

Vaggie: "I just did a normal thing, Charlie."

Charlie: "Not so normal down here."

Vaggie: "Or for an Exorcist."

Charlie: "You're more of a guardian angel these days. Especially days like this."

Vaggie: "...."

Charlie: "Was it hard?"

Vaggie: "...yeah. Sorry."

Charlie: "Then THAT makes me even prouder."

Vaggie: "....thanks, sweetie..."

Charlie: "Vaggie? What's wrong?"

Vaggie: "Nothing. All good."

Charlie: "....."

Vaggie: "I'm good, okay?"

Charlie: "Okay. And I can stay in hug mode alllll night."

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: "Look, not to question your taste in ex boyfriends, but-"

Charlie: "Wha- that's what-?"(laughs) "Vaggie, as a lesbian, I really don't think you get to have much of an opinion here!"

Vaggie: "-there has to be SOMETHING attractive about him, right? Something you liked? Or, still like? I mean, we've both got grey-ish skin I guess, and there's the hat thing he wears- you always liked Pentious's hat too- or is the suit thing? I could, they're not that hard to move in guess, I could probably wear-"

Charlie: (kiss) "You look great in anything, Vaggie. And happiest in skirts, which makes them prettiest on you."

Vaggie: "But-"

Charlie: "And I like you BEST in nothing~"

Vaggie: "...."

Vaggie: "That's a lot easier."

Charlie: "Heheheh."

#hazbin hotel #vaggie #alastor the radio demon #charlie morningstar #chaggie #incorrect quotes #alastor (maybe) wanting to be murder buddies with vaggie (possibly with or without ulterior motives)#charlie will cling to any speck of improvement until it's compressed into actual character development #vaggie not wanting to ruin things with her gf #again #even if the temptation of this one murder is Very Tempting

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ineffable-suffering · 1 year

Text

Why Aziraphale is an unreliable narrator

Part 2: The Story of wee Morag

This is Part 2 of 3 total metas. Here are:

Part 1, in case you want to read about my analysis of the Story of Job first

and Part 3, in case you're impatient and want to jump ahead.

Fair warning though, for the sake of understanding some of the references, you're probably better off reading this chaptered meta chronologically. However, every part should work just as well as a standalone! I'll do my very best to make it so.

Alright, off or on you go beyond the cutty cut!

I'll start this second part off with a very brief summary of the main take aways and points from Part 1, which go as such:

Memory, as opposed to a third party's narration, is not a factual, objective retelling of a story or event. It's mingled and mangled with emotions, imaginations and exaggerations, projecting both the feelings and impressions you had back then as well as those you might have now in the present time back on whatever it is you are remembering. (Which is why we need to put everything that Aziraphale is remembering into the context of what he might have felt in the past, as well as what he's feeling right now.)

While this doesn't mean his (or anyone's) memories are lies, it does mean they're a very subjective and sometimes factually distorted representation of what actually happened, which, in our case, gives us a lot of subtext and a lot of not-there furniture to figure out and look at.

So, let's continue with S2E3 and the Story of wee Morag. We start our flashback with a scene of Aziraphale writing his diary entry on the 10th of November, 1827. Immediately, it's firmly established that this is once again not an outside-point-of-view narration, but rather what Aziraphale remembers and wrote down.

One thing that immediately stuck out to me here, is how helpful and kind Crowley is to Elspeth, pretty much from the very beginning when they meet her in the graveyard. Not only does he take on a Scottish accent so she won't perceive him as English (as she does with Aziraphale), but he also helps her drag the barrel that has the fresh body in it and, in the end, even pulls it all by himself while Elspeth simply follows behind them. Here's a rather poor-quality picture, for reference:

Now, we know that despite not showing it very often, Crowley has always been very fond of the humans and never really put himself on a pedestal simply because he's an immortal being himself. He likes humans, just like Aziraphale does. But, just like this story will tell us, Crowley knows that on top of liking humans, you can't just put them into boxes of good and evil and expect them to always do what is supposedly the "right" or "divinely good" thing to do. (Which is what differentiates him from Aziraphale in the way he understands and treats them, as we're shown in this minisode).

Him immediately and unspokenly helping Elspeth with dragging the barrel therefore might also be a first sign of a tiny projection from present day Aziraphale, as opposed to what Crowley might have actually done (probably just walked beside her, like Aziraphale) because he has the knowledge that Crowley really was so very kind to her in the end, wasn't he? And that he's kind to humans in general. ("Not kind! Off my head on Laudanum!" Sure, babe.)

Most of this minisode, in my opinion, is actually there to establish how Aziraphale's view of morality and good vs. evil used to be quite flawed and elitist –– and how Crowley has always been there to gently nudge him towards questioning his black and white view of heavenly right and hellishly wrong. That's why I think there's not as many hints in this minisode about Aziraphale's memories not being an accurate portrayal of what happened, as there are in the Story of Job or the magic show in 1941. (And, fear not, the latter will definitely be the most hint-heavy one). Alas, there's still a few bits and bobs in the Story of wee Morag that stuck out to me, that make a brief yet good case of the whole unreliable narration thing.

First of all: The way Aziraphale describes all of it in his diary is so different from the way we see him actually remembering it. It's almost like he tried to write this entry (and possibly all of his diary) as a bit of a thrilling short story, with himself as the main character. Which makes sense, given the fact that he adores books and would certainly be keen on dabbling in the art of capital-w Writing himself. It's yet again hinting at the fact that sometimes people (and angels) try to polish and bedazzle stories (and memories) to make them seem more exciting and adventurous, often to distract from the not-so-fun parts of it.

Like when Aziraphale's diary narrates:

"It was with heavy heart we arrived at Elspeth's destination. I was determined to thwart her monstrous plan!"

... and yet we see Crowley and Elspeth casually walking down the alleyway, very obviously not heavy-hearted in the slightest, while Aziraphale nervously scurries on behind them, very obviously not determined to thwart. (Timestamp-wise, it's around 17:38 in S2E3, in case you want to see for yourself.)

We get another cinematographic/auditory hint at the fact that Aziraphale's memory is heavily influenced by what he's feeling that very moment, when Dr. Mister Dalrymple –– FRCSE, thank you very much –– shows him the tumor he removed from the seven year old boy. You can see the shock and horror on Aziraphale's face once he learns of this child's cruel fate. We then proceed to hear Mr. Dalrymple's voice grow sort of echo-y and far away as the sad music swells up and drowns out his voice almost completely. It's awfully similar to what it feels like when really horrible news are broken to you and you dissociate and drift into a state of shock. Here's the clip of it, so you may listen for yourself:

It's clear that this is a very subjective portrayal of what Aziraphale is going through during this part of the memory. He's deeply horrified and saddened about the little boy having passed away so early in life – and we hear and feel this shock with him. Through him, because this is his memory. Whatever it is he's feeling and thinking, we're feeling and thinking it too because we're seeing it through his lense.

Another (less sad) hint at a possible exaggeration is the abnormally deep hole Crowley makes the two graveyard watch keepers fall into. I'm pretty sure he's very much in charge of his miracles, making this random slip-up seem a little silly – which is why I'm also pretty sure the "Might have slightly overdone it on that hole" is a wee bit of a meta hint at this just being another one of Aziraphale's dramatic bedazzlements of this story. For the *flings feather boa around neck* drama!

You know what else might be exaggerated? Hm, I dunno, maybe Crowley growing into the size of a tree for no apparent reason. Sure, yes, he's pretty high on Laudanum which is making him a bit loopy. But apart from that, it does seem an awfully big cinematographic euphemism for him being the metaphorical (and, once again, for the drama of it) literal bigger person in this scenario. He's the one who ends up saving Elspeth and who manages to secure a safe life without poverty and grave robbing for her. While Aziraphale was so tangled up in his own moral journey and main character-ism, missing that wee Morag was seconds away from death already, Crowley is the one who actually ends up growing stepping up for the human in need and saving them for good (pun intended).

In a way, it might just be Aziraphale's view of/feelings for Crowley in this very moment. Watching the demon outgrow what, according to Aziraphale's heavenly logic, is supposed to be a foul fiend, bestowing evil upon humanity – and growing into someone who does the exact opposite and saves Elspeth instead. Another larger-than-life character development, in Aziraphale's eyes. Literally.

Let's switch back to the topic of the diary entry one last time, so I can make my final point of the this minisode's unreliable and a smidge over-dramatic narration of Dr. McFell. If you pay close attention, Aziraphale starts the entry we're all getting to experience with: "Last month, Crowley and I both happened to be in Edinburgh." Which means it didn't actually happen on the 10th of November, but rather at some point in October, 1827. Once we see Crowley get hydro-pumped back to Hell after rescuing Elspeth, the minisode ends with, presumably, the last sentence of Aziraphale's diary entry: "And that was the last I would see of Crowley for quite some time."

Take my hand and let's look at where the furniture isn't: This very clearly means that Crowley couldn't have been gone for more than a month, at best. Read again: "It happened last month and that was the last I would see of him for quite some time." This, albeit indirectly, clearly implies that when Aziraphale had sat down to write the diary entry, he had already run into Crowley again. Otherwise his phrasing would have probably been more along the lines of "... and I haven't seen Crowley since" or "... and Crowley has yet to return from wherever it is Hell's currently keeping him".

What's the point I'm trying to make? Good question. I guess my main point of storyteller Aziraphale being a bit over-dramatic in his narration is simply backed up by this, since A Single Month would barely pass as "quite some time" for an immortal being like him. And yet that's how he puts it, in his little Confidential Journals of A.Z. Fell, Vol. 603.

And another point that has absolutely nothing to do with the topic of this meta (but I'm still gonna make it 'cause this is my memory post): The meeting at St. Jame's Park in 1862 that so many, post-S2, took to be their first run-in after the Story of wee Morag, actually wasn't that at all. They saw each other at least once only a month later, as Aziraphale's diary lets us know. Which explains why he wasn't very surprised or concerned when he met Crowley in London, 1862. If there really had been 35 years in between those two events, the first one ending with Crowley being sucked back Downstairs to receive more than three decades worth of hellish punishment, wouldn't Aziraphale have been at least a tiny bit worried or more interested than:

Just saying.

Alright, let's string this inflated hot air balloon of a post back together so we can outline some invisible furniture. This time with only two humble points:

Crowley through Aziraphale's lense Backed up by how we are introduced to Bildad the Shuhite in the Job minisode (suave, cheeky, smart, passionate in shoemaking and obstetrics), it's growing quite clear that Aziraphale's memories and impressions of Crowley are very fond and impressed ones. He sees him as someone who's not only witty, funny and cool, but also as someone who has figured out way sooner and faster than him that nothing's ever black and white. Not God's plans and not the human's choices either.

Aziraphale as a bit of an exaggerating adventure author With the direct parallel we get of inkslinger journalist!Aziraphale in the present day, it's quite apparent after this minisode that Aziraphale's memory is not only deeply influenced by his emotions, but that he also tends to have a bit of a dramatic touch to him. Although, you gotta give it to the guy: A month without seeing the love of your life, even if said life is eternal, can indeed seem like "quite some time".

Well, would you lookie here, we've reached the end of Part 2! What a journey it was. I hope you forgive me for the fact that I drifted off-course a few times. I just can't seem to reel in my silly little observations, even if they've got nothing to do with the point I'm trying to make. But hey, doesn't that just make me a little bit like Aziraphale's storytelling, in a way?

I'll let you be the judge of that.

See you in Part 3! And in case you haven't snuck a peak yet: here's Part 1 again.

Ta!

#good omens #good omens season 2 #gos2 #go2 #good omens 2 #good omens meta #ineffable husbands #aziraphale #crowley #good omens analysis #aziraphale is a storyteller #but not a very accurate one #story of wee morag #my own meta #aziraphale the Drama Queen #shakespeare who #unreliable but beloved story teller aziraphale

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potatoplace · 15 days

Text

Mastermind

Dark!Feysand x Reader Modern AU

Part 2 | ACOTAR x Reader Masterlist

Story Summary: Your friend of a few months, Feyre, invited you out for a celebratory drink over your new job, and of course her husband Rhys joins you. The night doesn't go quite as planned, and you end up back at their place with very few wits about you.

Warnings: Drugging, dub-con / non-con, abduction, smut

Words: ~3.8k

Author's Note: so uhmmmm. This idea. Got me to write. Uhhh. Yeah. Enjoy. I sure did hehe 🤭 the chokehold feysand has on me recently is. Very strong. Near irresistible. There might be future parts to this, I'm not sure yet. Read the warnings please!!

18+ only pls

🤍🩵🤍💜🤍

Tonight was supposed to be fun.

Your friends Feyre and Rhys had offered to take you out for a drink at Rita’s when she heard about your new job, doing remote work as a graphic designer for a marketing firm.

Feyre’s had suggested the job after all, knowing that your dream lay beyond the coffee shop that you currently work in- well, used to work in, you had quit earlier that day.

That, plus your new, upscale apartment that you rent at an amazing price had made your year considerably better than the last few.

And tonight was supposed to be fun, you had worn your smallest black dress, with tiny straps just barely holding it onto your body.

Yet here you were, being driven home after only two drinks, sitting in the backseat of Rhys and Feyre’s car in Feyre’s arm. You felt dizzy, and heated all over.

It was the type of drunk you rarely felt- overwhelmingly needy and aroused.

You just needed to make it home, and thankfully Rhys and Feyre live in the same building, so there’d be no problems with getting you into your apartment.

This building has way more security than your last apartment, there you were lucky to have never been broken into, with how many times your previous neighbors had been stolen from.

The car came to a slow, smooth stop, and you heard a car door open and shut. Then, one of Feyre’s arms moved from your body, causing you to whine as she opened the door on her side.

The door on your end of the car opened, and you were quickly pulled into the arms of someone warm and solid.

Keeping your eyes open was a struggle, but you managed to tilt your head up, gaze passing over a strong jaw, high cheekbones, and finally locking briefly with intense violet eyes. Rhys smiled down at you, eyes darkened with-

Something.

You were just tired and dizzy and you- oh, you need a shower. The water could drown out your noises, just in case the state you’re in makes you louder than usual. Your thighs rubbed together slightly as your mind wandered, already set on having the feeling of warm water hitting your skin and your hand between your thighs.

Your eyes closed as the three of you passed through a doorway, and a few dings of the elevator later Rhys is walking once more, gentle movements only making you sleepier.

He sets you on the floor gently once you’re in your apartment only-

It’s not your apartment.

“We didn’t think you should be alone right now, darling, with how you’re feeling,” Feyre explained softly, one of her hands already wrapping around yours. “Did you need anything?”

“A shower,” you blurted out, more than ready to have the smell of the club, however faint it was, off of your skin.

“That we can provide, darling,” Rhys said, smacking your ass as he walked away from the both of you. You turned to say something to him, but Feyre was already moving, leading you by the hand.

You passed though a luxurious bedroom, with a California king bed draped in black silk standing out most to you. You could see chains attached to the posts-

“Here we are, Y/N. Did you need help with anything?” Feyre asked, waving her hand to the large bathroom she had taken you too. The shower was open, no curtain or door to close it off from the rest of the room.

You simply shook your head. You could manage a shower on your own, surely, you were already feeling a little better than in the club. “Thank you, Fey,” you said softly, taking her in for a hug.

“Oh, it’s nothing sweetheart. Absolutely nothing,” Feyre replied, pushing the hair away from your face and gathering it into a bun for you, securing it with the scrunchie she’d gotten while you weren’t paying attention. She started the water for you before leaving the room, shutting the door behind her.

You used a makeup wipe to rid yourself of your makeup, feeling far too greasy to not wash your face, then quickly stripped off your dress and your panties and slipped into the stream of water, sighing when the warm water hit your skin. It felt just as good as you imagined- and then your thoughts went back to what you’d thought of on the way up the elevator.

Your hand slipped down, landing between your thighs as water poured over you. Your fingers dipped between your folds, your cunt already thoroughly drenched even without the water running between your legs. You swirled your fingers around your clit slowly, letting out soft sighs every now and then. The pleasure in your gut grew as you moved them faster-

“Y/N? Did you need help with anything?” Feyre asked through the door, and you quickly moved your hands from between your thighs.

“No, Fey, I’m alright,” you said, cheeks blazing with heat.

“Rhys had a nice idea, would you like to go swimming?” Feyre offered, and you turned to your right to see that she’s in the room with you. You covered your chest, keeping as much of yourself hidden as you could.

Swimming could be nice. And you’d seen their pool, it had such a pretty view, and you’d never gone in it before. You nodded your head, eyes taking note of the bikini in Feyre’s hands.

“Good, you can wear this, darling. I’ll be waiting for you outside, don’t take too long,” Feyre said, blowing you a kiss before she closed the door behind her.

Your cheeks heated even further, you’d never had such a nice and friendly female friend before, let alone such a pretty one. Your thoughts strayed to what Feyre would look like in a bikini- absolutely perfect, you were sure. Fingers dipped back between your thighs, rubbing quick circles over your clit, you just needed to cum once, once then you could go enjoy the rest of your night with your friends-

A knock at the door, right as you were about to finish.

Feyre entered without waiting for you to respond, this time without the stunning black dress she’d been wearing before. Instead, she was completely naked.

You blushed profusely, turning your eyes away from her.

“Oh, darling, you can look all you like. I just thought, since you’re taking so long and I need to shower, I’d come in and just get mine done at the same time.” Feyre paused. “I could leave, if you’d like,”

Your brain was short circuiting, being so close to your incredibly beautiful, incredibly sexy friend of a few months. “Oh, that’s, uhm… that’s fine, Fey.”

Feyre smiled, getting a bit closer to you. “Good. Did you need help getting clean, sweetness?” Feyre asked, her chest nearly touching yours, still covered by your arms. She already had a cloth filled with soap in her hands and began running it across your shoulders soothingly. Your arms slowly feel from your chest, and Feyre took the opportunity to step closer, arms practically wrapped around you as she used the cloth to clean your back, her breasts pressed against yours.

You could hardly breathe, this woman, your friend was so perfect and naked and-

The cloth slipped over your cunt, Feyre’s deft fingers quickly rubbing it over your clit, and a quiet moan escaped you. The cloth was gone a second later, two of Feyre’s fingers sinking into your cunt as the other hand came to rub circles on your clit. You came shamefully quickly, already having worked yourself up so high before your friend entered the room.

“Good girl,” Feyre whispered against your ear before pressing hot kisses down your neck, only pulling away to grab the cloth off the floor of the shower and begin washing you once more. Once she was finished, she pushed you back into the stream of water, rinsing the suds off of your body. “Help me out?” Feyre asked, hands already pushing the cloth into yours. When you hesitated, she made puppy dog eyes at you. “I helped you, pleeease Y/N?”

That was all you needed, body moving of its own accord as your hands used the cloth to clean her body, trying not to linger too long on her breasts, ass, and her sweet looking pussy that at the moment you knew you wanted nothing more than to bury your face in. Feyre rinsed herself off, her hands lingering over the spots you’d wanted to touch longer. You were on the verge of getting on your knees and begging when Rhys’s voice came from the doorway.

“You ladies are so gorgeous,” he said, walking further into the room, and it was then that you noticed- he’s naked, his long, thick cock bobbing invitingly at you, already hard and waiting. You managed to snap your eyes away from him, only to land on Feyre’s chest.

Fuck, it should be illegal for these two to be this hot, you thought to yourself, thighs pressing together as you tried to look anywhere but at your two friends.

“Thank you, Rhys,” Feyre said, walking out of the shower and pulling him with her into it. “You can shower, the two of us will get in the pool. Right Y/N?”

You nodded, letting her grab your hand and lead you over to the towels. She dried you off, lingering over your sensitive areas longer than necessary, then helped dress you in the bikini she was lending you- if you could even call it that. It was practically strings, with small stars of fabric to cover your nipples and a slightly thicker strip of fabric to cover your cunt.

But, if your friends had already seen you naked… what’s the harm?

Feyre was dressed similarly, her bikini in black instead of your silver set. She pulled you out of the bathroom, through their bedroom and out onto the patio. Feyre sat at the edge of the pool, patting the ground next to her, and you joined her a moment later.

You sighed, then leaned your head onto Feyre’s shoulder.

“Feeling better yet, darling?” She asked, her right arm coming up to circle around your shoulders. You nodded against her shoulder, kicking your legs gently in the water. “I’m glad to hear it.”

“Would either of you ladies like another drink?” Rhys asked from behind you.

“Yes please, Rhysie,” Feyre responded. “She’ll have a soda, I think. Hmm, baby? Does that sound good?” You nodded your head in confirmation. In no world do you need another drink at this point, for gods sake your friend already made you-

“Let’s get in the water, darling.” Feyre slipped in the pool, water coming to just under her barely covered breasts. “Join me?” She asked coyly, and you couldn’t help but follow her in, making your way to her immediately. The water came up to your collarbones, your height difference feeling so pronounced as you looked up at her, half expecting her to make another move.

“Here we are.” Rhys’s voice cut through the bubble you and Feyre had been in for a moment. You turned to look at him and saw that he was already sitting at the edge of the pool the two of you had entered at, two drinks in hand.

You and Feyre made your way to him, happily taking the drinks from his hand and watching as he slipped into the pool. The height difference between the two of you took your breath away slightly, you felt so small next to him. You took a few greedy sips of your soda to cover up how flustered you are around the couple tonight, every little thing about them seems to be turning you on more and more.

Feyre had taken a sip of her drink and set it back down, choosing to follow Rhys a bit deeper into the water.

You could see as he cupped her ass in his hands, her legs wrapping around his waist as they kissed passionately in front of you-

And you wanted, no, needed to be a part of that, your body already moving towards them before you were able to stop yourself. You turned back to the edge of the pool, feeling hot and dizzy with need like you had been earlier at Rita’s. Quickly, you set your drink on the smooth stone at the edge of the pool and took a few deep breaths.

These are your friends. They’re married. Stop being a whore-

Arms wrapped around you, and Feyre’s soft chest met your back. “Hi darling, not getting too lonely, are you?” She asked lowly in your ear, then pressed a soft trail of kisses from behind your ear all the way down your neck and onto your shoulder. You were leaning back against her by the time she came back up to your ear, lightly tugging on it with her teeth. “Turn around for me, sweetness,” she told you, hands helping move you where she wanted. “Perfect,” Feyre said breathily, before leaning down and pressing her lips against yours softly. The feel of her plush lips on yours was perfect, so gentle and warm. After a few seconds her tongue darted out, and you let her take control of the kiss, dominating your mouth with hers as she pushed you back against the wall of the pool.

When the two of you came up for air, you were filled with need so great you thought you might burst. You noticed a strong, tan pair of arms caging the two of you against the pool wall, and looked up to meet Rhys’s gaze. His violet eyes were filled with lust, matching the grey blue eyes of his wife that were also locked on yours. “What do you say darling? Be ours?” He asked, eyes darting down to your lips.

You tried to think about it, really think about it, but one of Feyre’s hands was between your thighs again, pushing past the tiny bikini and playing with your clit. Your eyes fell shut at her touch, a moan already making its way past your lips.

“Please,” you whined, not fully sure what you were begging for, you just knew that you needed more.

One thick finger slid into you, nearly as big as both of Feyre’s were earlier, and another moan fell from your lips, this one going into Feyre’s shoulder where you’d collapsed into her, unable to hold yourself up any longer.

“Oh, sweetness, I think it’s time,” Feyre said, disconnecting herself from you. “Get her into the bathroom, Rhys,” she ordered, already pulling herself out of the pool.

You were barely keeping yourself up, but Rhys moved closer to you, pulling you in to his chest. His kissed you gently, drawing a sweet sigh from your lips before he stopped and pushed you up onto the ledge of the pool, then followed you up. He helped you stand, and picked you up after you nearly fell after three steps.

“Silly girl, don’t worry, we’ll have you all nice and comfy in bed soon,” Rhys said, carrying you into the bathroom, where Feyre was already naked and rinsing off. “You got to dress her, I get to undress her,” Rhys snapped at Feyre when she tried to come over to you. She rolled her eyes, but stayed under the stream of water, waiting for both of you.

Rhys slowly peeled the bikini off of you, taking his time to squeeze your breasts and pinch your nipples hard enough to make you gasp, and grazing his fingers over your sensitive clit teasingly a few times. As soon as you were bare Feyre came over and pulled you back into the shower while Rhys rid himself of his swim trunks.

The warm spray felt nice on your skin again, especially paired with the gentle touches of the couple surrounding your senses. One of them gently guided your face under the spray of water, and the other cleaned your face with a familiar smelling soap. They rinsed your face carefully, then shut the water off and four hands began drying you off. Once your face was dry you opened your eyes to see Feyre’s pretty ones staring back at you.

“Let’s get your skincare done, sweetness,” she suggested, leading you over to the counter after Rhys had finished drying your body. Feyre applied a toner, moisturizer and eye cream, all of them the same ones that you used daily.

“That’s funny…” you said, trailing off.

“What is, darling?” Rhys asked from where he was stood behind you, arms encircling your torso. You stared at his thick arms, how muscular they are… then you realized that you could feel him- hard and pressed against your lower back. “What’s funny?” He whispered in your ear, and you couldn’t for the life of you figure out what he was talking about.

You didn’t respond. More like couldn’t, when his lips started sucking a deep, purple mark onto your neck and Feyre’s lips covered your own hungrily.

You were nothing but a quivering, needy mess when they pulled away, but luckily for you it was just to move you into the bedroom, onto their massive bed.

“Finally,” Feyre groaned at the sight of you spread out in the middle of their bed, your legs kept apart by their hands. “Do you know how long I’ve wanted to taste this sweet pussy?” She asked you, looking expectantly down at your face. “Hmm?” She tapped her thumb on your clit twice, making your hips twitch. You shook your head. “Since the moment I met you. I knew that I needed to have you, that I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if you weren’t mine and Rhys’s,” Feyre explained, now rubbing small, even circles on your clit. “And luckily for me, well, Rhys has a pretty big breeding kink and once he saw you…” Feyre grinned down at you, eyes soft.

“I knew I had to have you as well,” Rhys finished for her, his head already dipping down to capture one of your nipples in his mouth. Your back arched as he teased it with his tongue, and between that and Feyre’s fingers you came quickly, breathy moans escaping your lips until Rhys’s mouth was over yours again. “Fuck, you are absolutely perfect,” he groaned.

Feyre fingers had moved away from you, and you were about to whine at the lack of stimulation before her mouth, warm and wet, began devouring you. She lapped up the slick that had leaked from you greedily before moving up to your clit. Feyre slowly licked at your sensitive bud, building up your pleasure once more as Rhys kissed you and played with your breasts, swallowing up the endless moan leaving you. When you were finally able to lift your head an look down at Feyre, you saw that she was grinding her thighs together as she ate you out with her eyes closed, and the sight of her so focused on your pleasure bringing you to the brink once more. You could hardly think when she climbed over you and kissed you, before moving up your body again and seating herself over your face.

Without a thought you flicked your tongue out, moaning at how wet she already was- for you.

Your arms came up to hold onto her thighs as licked at her center hungrily, sure that you had that same expression on your face that she had worn just moments before. You were happily sucking on your clit when you felt your legs being parted by-

Rhys was pushing in to you, the movement of his cock eased by how slick you were, and you moaned into Feyre’s cunt.

“Fuck, Y/N, don’t stop,” Feyre ordered breathlessly as she ground her hips down onto your face, forcing you to give she needs. She came on your face right as Rhys fully seated himself inside of you, all of the breath leaving your lungs as he did.

“Fey, she feels amazing. So tight and hot, I don’t know that I’ll ever leave the house again,” Rhys remarked as he began moving in and out of you slowly, letting your cunt adjust to his size as much as it could.

“Good thing we don’t have to for the next week,” Feyre said, still working her hips over your mouth, keeping your senses entirely filled by herself and her husband. Rhys started picking up the pace soon, letting one of his thumb graze over your clit every few seconds, your walls gripping him tighter in response. “Mm, fuck,” Feyre moaned, cumming on your face again, letting her hips twitch over you a few times before climbing off of you and sliding down so she could kiss your swollen lips. “We have plenty of time to train our new little pet.

“Train-?” You started to ask, but Feyre covered your mouth with hers once more, using her fingers to take over for Rhys’s thumb on your clit.

Moans were spilling out of you again whenever your mouth was unoccupied, which wasn’t often. Rhys has figured out just the angle to hit to make you see stars, barely even needing Feyre’s fingers to topple over the edge before Rhys followed you, slotting his hips tightly against yours as he emptied his cum into you.

After he pulled out he kissed you tenderly, fingers pushing as much of his cum back into you as possible as he did so. Your cunt fluttered around the tips of his fingers, so sensitive to every little touch now.

Feyre had disappeared, but came back into the room from the bathroom, a wet wash cloth in hand, and she carefully cleaned off your face.

“I guess we could have waited to do the skincare, hmm?” Feyre asked amusedly, taking in how wrecked you looked already.

“It was just a different kind of facial, darling,” Rhys said, humor in his voice. “Besides, her face is bound to get dirty again before the morning.”

“I suppose that’s true, her mouth is like magic Rhys, I’m sure with a little training she’ll be just as perfect at it as you are,” Feyre said, her thoughts already drifting to riding your face once more.

You were nearly asleep by the time Feyre was done cleaning your face, barely registering the feeling of something being wrapped around your throat and a gentle snick of something latching shut, but you were too tired to think about anything as Feyre and Rhys settled in around you, keeping you secure between their arms.

Lemme know if you guys want a part 2 🫣

#mastermind #feysand x reader #dark!feysand x reader #feyre x reader x rhys #feyre #rhys #rhysand #acotar x reader #acotar fic #acotar #acotar fanfic #smut #feysand x reader smut #dark!feysand x reader smut #modern feysand x reader au #modern acotar #tato writes #poly!feysand x reader

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wardenparker · 10 months

Text

Next to Normal, part 2

Joel Miller x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Rating: E for Explicit! 18+ Word Count: 9k Warnings: Reader's age isn't pinpointed but you/she are old enough to remember the way the world worked before the Outbreak. Swearing, food. References to reader's past, trauma responses, Joel being the absolute softest and most gentle partner. Emotional vulnerability. Mutual nudity. Fingering. Hand job. Summary: In the months since you started your relationship with Joel, he has never pushed you for more. But Ellie thinks it's time to take the next step. Notes: As usual, I apologize for any typos that I might have missed. Ya girl is sleepy and there's a lot going on in life these days. This story was only going to be a one shot. And then it was juuuust going to be a two-parter. Well...this is part two of three. Stay tuned next week for the conclusion!

Read part 1 here!

Ellie fidgets at the table, frowning at the plate of breakfast that Joel put in front of her. Not because she doesn’t want it, but because she’s thinking hard about how to approach her question. It seems straightforward to her, but she’s learned in the last several months that he is touchy when you are the subject of conversation. He’s always in protection mode when it comes to you. She picks up a piece of unevenly toasted bread and frowns at it like it’s offended her until her eyes track back to Joel. “Are you gonna ask her to live with us?” She asks finally, knowing she doesn’t have to clarify who she means.

Joel stops with his fork halfway to his mouth, his own eggs nearly falling off as he stares at Ellie. “Why? What do you— has she—” he stops and drops the fork. “Why?” He wonders if you’ve dropped hint or if this is just the girl’s curiosity.

“That’s…what you’re supposed to do right? Like…old people style courtship?” She doesn’t really know what adult dating entails except that Joel seems to be spending every second of free time with you, and she likes you. You’re fun to have around and a lot easier to talk to than Joel or Tommy about some of the shit that she’s dealing with. “She hasn’t said anything. I just wondered.”

“Sometimes.” Joel admits, picking up his fork again and looking back down at his plate. “What do you think about that?” He tries to keep it casual, in untested waters dealing with this. He had never really dated while Sarah was young, too busy trying to keep everything together.

“She’s nice.” Ellie says, as though it was the easiest thing in the world. “And…we can trust her. That’s a hell of a lot better than some other people in this town.” In general she likes Jackson, but people are people and not everyone is trustworthy. Ellie knows that better than most. “Would you, like…marry her? Like Tommy and Maria?”

“I don’t know if she would ever want to get married.” Joel hasn’t discussed any of your past with Ellie, so she might not be aware of some of your hangups. He’s not ever even mentioned marriage just in case it might have been one of them. Not like he was a wedding vows kind of man himself. “I would. If she wanted to.”

“But you’re not gonna ask.” Ellie nods vaguely, not quite understanding why anybody bothers to get married anymore anyway. It seems like one of those things that doesn’t make sense in this world. A relic. “So…” The only part of it that still matters is safety, and the emotion behind all of it. “She could be here with us all the time, and I’d pretend like I don’t hear you doing stuff and that’s it? Like…” Her eyes tick up to Joel’s with rivers of curiosity in them. “Like a family?”

Joel snorts, amused at that comment because beyond kissing, doing stuff hadn’t happened. “Kind of like that. If she did, she would have say over what happens here.” He cautions. “Another adult to ‘ruin your life’.” He had rolled his eyes and laughed the first time she had come out with that statement. A true measure of a teenager, even in the shithole state the world was in, Joel could ruin her life.

“She’s better at it than you,” Ellie announces immediately, tongue stuck out as far as it will go. She doesn’t want to admit that you’re the one she goes to for advice most often now. Not him, not Maria, and definitely not Tommy. She goes to you, and you always answer her honestly.

“Ruining your life?” He lifts a brow and hums. “Maybe I need to ask her for tips then.” He’s joking, but it’s nice to see that she has found a mother-like figure in you.

“She’s better at advice.” The teen clarifies, not wanting Joel to think you’ve done anything wrong. “I mean…I’m not gonna ask you about girl stuff.”

Joel snorts and shoots her a grin. “Why not? I love everything about women.”

“But you aren’t one.” The exaggerated roll of her eyes calls him an idiot and she huffs. “Whatever. You should ask your girlfriend to live with us. That’s all I was saying.”

“Yeah?” He hums and shrugs. “I’ll see what she thinks. She can sew here, she does often enough.”

“‘Kay.” She mumbles simply, as if she didn’t just suggest an enormous change to both of their lives as casually as commenting on the color of the sky. Ellie finishes her breakfast in three bites and pushes back from the table abruptly. “School,” she adds, before grabbing her supplies from the counter nearby.

Joel watches as she bolts out the door. Since it’s not a FEDRA school, Ellie has actually been enjoying going each day. Picking up his coffee, he shakes his head. It’s Chicory but it’s better than nothing. Expecting you in a few minutes, he finishes his breakfast in peace with your own plate still warm on the stove.

The soft knock at the door comes just minutes later, and you crack the door open to slip inside without letting any heat out. The typical place for your sewing is in a large canvas bag unless it's a delicate project, so you can move it between your house or Joel's without effort. All those years of making costumes by hand for plays and parties has truly paid off. "Joel?" The smell of breakfast is welcome and comforting, and you peak around the corner to find him sitting at the table. "I just passed Ellie on her way to school. Seemed like she was in a good mood."

He chuckles and stands up, ready to pour you a cup of the coffee that is still simmering in the percolator. “She should be.” He snorts. “Christmas is coming early, apparently.”

"Or very late, depending on how you view it." Now that spring is here and the winter is solidly behind you, Jackson is flourishing again. It seems to be affecting everyone, including Ellie. A soft murmur of thanks comes with accepting the cup of coffee he has made – Joel's is far better tasting than your attempts ever were – but you set it down on the table to step closer to him with a smile. "Good morning kiss?"

“Of course.” When you ask him for a kiss, or to hold you, he’s never turned you down. Nearly in disbelief that you are so affectionate despite the past years. He steps towards you slowly and bites his lip. “Can I hold onto your hips, beautiful girl?” Sometimes you want him to and other times you would rather he not, so he still asks where you want his hands.

"Yes, please." You're feeling brave today, maybe reinvigorated by the spring just like Ellie is, and you nod as you step closer to him so he can hold you close. Maybe it's the spring, or maybe it's months of Joel always calling you his beautiful girl finally starting to sink in. You never thought anyone could think of you that way ever again, but it seems so easy with him.

He hums softly, licking his lips and shuffling closer. You are the one who moves quickly when you feel like it, but he still treats you delicately. Not because he is afraid you will shatter, but because you deserve it.

His short hair is always the perfect place for your fingers, and your arms come up around his shoulders so you can play with the hairs on the back of his neck when he leans in. These morning moments are your favourite, if you're honest. The bright sunlight and birdsong make it seem like a romantic little cottage scene, and it makes you wish that you had had the courage in the colder months to suggest that he sleep over. Or that you sleep over his place. Even just to sleep side by side would be wonderful, but you try to be cognizant of not changing things too much on Ellie all at once.

His lips are much softer since he’s been kissing you. Not as dry. Tommy rags on him, making him roll his eyes, but he would never admit that he does put a little oil on them at night to keep them from chapping and cracking when it’s his turn to stand watch at the gates.

The domesticity of the whole thing is appealing in ways that harken back to the feeling of near normalcy that Joel gives you, and you’re smiling when you finally force yourself to lean back from kissing him. “Busy day? Or do I have you to myself until Ellie gets home?”

“Nahh.” He shakes his head. “Mud’s too thick to try to set more posts, so we are waiting for it to dry in the southern area of the community garden.” He tells you. “Since I had to pull watch last night, I’m off for the next day or so.”

“It wasn’t too bad, I hope?” Overnights are tough just for the sake of a sleep schedule, but you know Joel’s shift ended at dawn and it’s a fair few hours past that now. “Did you get a nap in?”

“Not yet.” He hadn’t wanted to sleep while you were over. Not when he could spend time with you. “I will when I get tired.” He promises.

“I would have waited until after lunch to come over.” You pout at him, rather viciously, but aren’t really upset. You just don’t want Joel tiring himself out for you.

“And I wouldn’t have slept then, either.” He grumbles at you and motions towards the stove. “Eaten yet? I made you a plate.”

“Thank you.” Though you couldn’t put a finger on when it became tradition to eat breakfast together, it has certainly become a mainstay. “I brought over a few things that I’m mending for Maria, so I have plenty of work to keep me busy.” Or not is the unspoken follow up. There are definitely days that you spend entirely wrapped up in Joel.

“That’s good.” Joel nods as he motions you towards the table and brings the still warm plate over with a small hiss when it burns one of his fingers. “It’s hot.”

“Careful!” Though how he can feel anything through those callouses on his hand, you just don’t know. “Don’t need you burning your fingers off over a plate of eggs.”

He rolls his eyes and sits down beside you with a groan. “Eat.” He tells you, pointing to the food. “Pretty sure you skipped dinner last night.”

“Not intentionally.” There had been a call for anyone available to come help out with chasing some escaped animals up on the pasture north of town last night and you had gone out to help without hesitation. “But thank you for looking out for me.”

“Of course I’m going to look after you.” He huffs off your thanks and sits back down with you, his own refreshed coffee in hand. “Ellie wanted me to talk to you about something.”

“Oh?” That has you stopping with your fork halfway to your mouth. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, yeah…everything’s good.” He quickly reassures you, frowning because he hadn’t meant to worry you. He doesn’t like the scared look in your eyes, like you’re about to be punished for some imaginary wrong. “All good, I think.”

“Okay.” Dropping the tension from your shoulders is automatic — you didn’t even realize you had seized up until you were relaxing again. “What’s going on?”

“Not sayin’ we’re doin’ this, or that we gotta—” Joel reassures you to start with, knowing that you might not think that it’s a question. “But Ellie was asking me about the future, me and you.”

“We haven’t really talked about it.” For the simple reason that in this world, the future can never be determined. There’s usually no point in betting on a horse if you don’t know it will even finish the race, so a lot of people — you and Joel included — have chosen to remain undefined. Other people, people like Tommy and Maria, have held onto the old relationship conventions as a comfort in an ever changing world.

“No, we haven’t.” Joel admits. “But maybe we should. She – and me too – we were wonderin’ if maybe it’s not a bit silly that we’re trackin’ back and forth between your place and ours.”

“It’s not too much trouble, is it?” The ice cold fear in your heart is instant, and even though he had said that nothing was wrong, you can’t help the feeling of doomed certainty that the inevitable end has been reached in this otherwise happy arrangement. It was bound to come, sooner or later. Or, at least, you’ve feared that it would.

“No,” he can see that you’re still worried and he offers you his hand. Silently asking permission to hold yours and he squeezes yours gently when you slip onto into his. “We were thinkin’ that maybe you could just— live with us?” He ventures softly. “I wouldn’t— you don’t have to worry about me expectin’ anything more—” he promises quickly. “Maybe we could just, I don’t know, sleep in the same bed? If you don’t want that, I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“Joel…” It isn’t a great commendation of strength on your part that you start to tear up immediately, but it’s an honest reaction if there ever was one. You squeeze his hand tightly in yours for the half-second it takes you to move out of your chair and to his side. “Can I hug you? Please?”

“Of course you can.” The fact that you ask him is probably due to him asking you. Or needing to make sure you won’t get in trouble on some subconscious level, but he easily stands and holds his arms open.

The crush of how hard you push into his arms to hug him exactly as tightly as you can gets a small oof out of him, but his arms come around you just as securely. “I’ve been trying to think of how to bring it up for weeks,” you admit quietly, feeling silly about that now that he’s broken the topic himself. “About… sleeping together, I mean…”

“Oh.” He’s not sure if you mean sleeping together or sleeping together, but he doesn’t ask. “You should have said something, beautiful girl.” He murmurs quietly into your neck, enjoying the way that you curl into him.

“I wasn’t sure how.” Joel is the only person you’ve been able to be completely candid with about your fears and anxieties, and if anything it has only made him more protective. But really? You don’t mind that. “But I’m feeling braver.”

“Do you like the idea?” He asks softly. “I know you have your own space and are used to it, but we can share ours. Ellie loves the idea, so no teenage pushback.”

“I had considered asking you to move in to mine,” you admit, overwhelmed tears turning to happy in an instant. “But I didn’t want to displace Ellie.”

“If you want that, we can see what she thinks.” Joel immediately offers. “But I think our place is a little bigger. And yours is closer to everything.”

“Bigger is better.” You can agree to that right away. The room you could give Ellie in your own house is too small to be comfortable. “I don’t mind being a little further away from town if I get to be with you.”

“Yeah?” Joel smiles slightly at the comment and nods. “Okay. Well, we’ll get you moved over here as soon as you want.” He knows you will bring your supplies so he nods towards the little nook off the living room. “Thinkin’ that could be your little shop, unless you need more room?”

“I think it should work.” The little reading nook off of the living room has space for a chair and a desk, and even a small closet built into the wall of the house that has shelves for your supplies. “If you don’t mind sacrificing the space, I think it might actually be perfect.”

“Was thinkin’ I could make you some organizers for your cloth and threads and such.” He tells you, leaning into the idea. “The bookshelves would be good for that.”

“You’ll spoil me if you do that.” It sounds wonderful, and you prop your chin on his chest to look up at him. “But I’ll spoil you with cooking if you let me.”

“I’ll get working on them today.” He promises with a grin. His cooking is okay, but yours is amazing.

“And I’ll make us a celebratory supper.” It’s the least you can do, really, but the smile on your face is bright and wide.

“Yeah?” He grins at the idea and nods. “Do you wanna start moving stuff over? I can get Tommy to help.”

“That would be a heck of a surprise for Ellie.” And you laugh a little at the idea, enjoying the ease of it. “Leave for school just having posed the question, and come home from school to find me moved in.”

“Up to you.” Joel chuckles. “She likes the idea of a family.” He wants you to know that, that the girl wants you here with them.

"I know she isn't technically either of ours." You shrug slightly, not wanting to specifically bring up the children that both you and Joel have lost. "But sometimes it feels like it."

“We worry enough about her. Annoy her enough.” He frowns slightly. “Sometimes family isn’t always blood, but the people you wish were blood.”

"Family can be the people that you adopt along the way. Or the people who adopt you. It works both ways." The two of you sit back down again, hands twined together at the table as you slowly work your way through the modest breakfast that Joel made you. "After this I'll go back to my house and pack some things up while you go see if Tommy is able to help?"

“Sounds good.” He clears his throat and bites his lip. “I don’t expect you to do any more than we’ve established you’re good with.” He reminds you quietly. “I’m gonna knock before coming into the bedroom. In case you’re, uh, changing or something.”

"I can change in the bathroom," you assure him, putting down your fork to concentrate on the far more important conversation at hand. "Or...maybe it's time we crossed that bridge. Maybe not all the way to the other side, but...we could put off a little of the moving to have...private time? Before Ellie comes home from school?" Reminding yourself that you have been feeling braver lately is the key. Joel has proven endlessly that you are safe with him, and never once given you reason to doubt it.

“Is that what you want?” Joel asks seriously. He doesn’t want you to think you have to push yourself into something you aren’t ready for because of where you will sleep at night.

"I want it, and I want to be ready for that step." Wanting is the key. Or at least you hope it is. "And I hope I know you well enough to think that you won't be upset if we reach a point that I'm not comfortable with."

“You just say the word and I’ll stop, beautiful girl.” Joel can easily promise you that. “If that’s what you’re wanting, then I guess you better finish your breakfast.”

As nerve wracking as taking that next step is, you do want to. Letting fear rule your life helps no one, and reclaiming your own strength through large and small steps is something that Joel has really helped you with. Nothing says that today has to be the day that you throw off every worry, but as you finish your breakfast you do feel absolutely certain that the decision to put one proverbial foot in front of the other and move toward intimacy with the man you’ve genuinely fallen in love with.

He lets you think about it quietly, taking his own plate and coffee cup over to the sink to start on the dishes. Knowing that despite what you might say, you could change your mind before you even finish your meal. That's okay with him. He's never pushed you, even when he's straining under his jeans and has to take himself in hand when he gets home after leaving you. He would still never push, not with something like this.

He doesn’t let you do your own dishes when you’re done eating, but he never does. Joel has deeply ingrained caretaking tendencies even if he doesn’t like to admit it. “We should…go upstairs,” you murmur, leaning against the kitchen counter beside him. “It’s more comfortable than the couch.”

Joel watches you for a moment and then nodes carefully. “We can. Do you— uh, want me to give you a minute?” He asks, unsure of what you want and how far you want this to go. “Let you…get ready?”

“I’d rather have you next to me.” His presence is, after all, what makes you feel safest. For this next step you’ll need that more than ever.

“Okay.” Reaching out, he offers you his hand with a reassuring nod. “You are in charge here.” He reminds you.

“I don’t really have any expectations for this except that we’ll lay in bed together and have some privacy.” But you can now fully admit that you hope to have the courage for more. “Let’s just…start there and see what happens?”

“That sounds good to me.” He guides you towards the stairs and lets go of your hand so he can let you go up in front of him. “We’ll take it nice and slow.”

The last time you were this nervous about being in a bad with a boyfriend was probably losing your virginity in high school, but there is a hell of a lot more emotional weight involved this morning than there was then. Joel means more to you than any of the others ever did, and that just makes you want this to go well even more. At the top of the stairs he’s beside you again and you slip your hand into his.

The walk to the bedroom doesn’t take long, the door open and his bed still rumpled. He’s never been a make the bed kind of guy and he bites his lip a little sheepishly. “Didn’t think you’d be up here.” He admits with a rueful grin. “Would have at least tossed the comforter over everything.”

“I like it better knowing the real you.” Your hand in his slips around his waist to keep him close.

Joel hums and walks towards it and then pauses a few feet from it. “Do you want to lay down with me, beautiful girl?”

“I feel like I should at least take my sweater off first.” The t-shirt you have on underneath it is typically worn but comfortable, and you find that today stripping off your warm sweater feels like taking off a lot more clothes than it really is.

Joel takes off his boots, but he leaves everything else on. It’s just a t-shirt and a flannel with his jeans. “Make sure you’re comfortable. What side of the bed do you like?” He’s a middle of the bed sleeper, so wherever you want is fine with him. He’ll adjust.

“The left, usually.” Being boxed in doesn’t feel particularly good to you, for obvious reasons. That doesn’t matter right now though, and you take off your own boots to leave to the side with Joel’s, socks stuffed neatly inside. “Is that okay?”

“Perfect.” He nods and motions to the bed. “Test it out. See if you like yours better.” If you do, he will drag that damn thing down here.

You won’t, you know that, but getting into Joel’s bed with him is a surprisingly emotional moment. Without any extra preamble — only because you’re restraining yourself from babbling out of nerves — you slide under the rumpled covers and inhale a breath of the scent that is purely his. It’s infinitely relaxing, and you close your eyes for a second to revel in how right it feels. Fear has made you think it might be awkward, but no. You’re supposed to be next to Joel. This is where you belong.

Joel is slightly tense beside you. Not wanting to jostle you too much, but he clears his throat. “I’m going to put my arm behind your head. Is that okay?”

“Let’s…” looking between you, you know that Joel asks about every single action to be courteous. To be cautious, even. And while you don’t mind being delicate to him, this might be a chance to start moving past some of that hesitance. For you, too. “Let’s just say we’re going to get comfortable?” You suggest. “Asking about every single movement…it’s going to make this harder than it needs to be. So…it’s okay with me that you touch wherever you need to while we figure this out. This…how to be comfortable together.”

He huffs out a small laugh at himself and nods. “If you don’t like something, you tell me, you got me?” He tells you, raising his brows seriously. “This bed, it’s gonna be your refuge, not your prison.”

“Okay.” Nodding, you slide closer to him under the blanket and move your arm so he can slide his under your pillow if he wants to. “I’m sorry if this is awkward…”

“You’ve got nothin’ to be sorry about.” Joel chides softly, used to hearing that when you want to pull back. “We’re just getting comfortable, that’s all.” His hand settles on your arm and he strokes his fingers over your skin lightly. “We got all the time in the world.”

Shifting even closer, you tuck yourself into his side and sigh at the bulk of him. It really is something primal in the way it relaxes you, having that broad frame of his nearby but never threatening. Sliding your arm around his waist is easy like this, and you press yourself into him comfortably. “Kinda wish I’d gotten brave enough for this ages ago,” you admit quietly.

“It’s okay, beautiful girl.” He promises, slowly sliding his hand up and down your back as you start to slowly cover half his body with your own. He pauses for just a moment before his hand ventures very sedately past the small of your back and over the swell of your butt. Giving you time to tell him no if you wanted.

Instead of hesitating it actually makes you grin, the slow and careful way that he reaches forward. Feeling admittedly cheeky, you shift your hips to wiggle your ass under his tentative fingers and end up smiling again. "It's okay, handsome," you assure him, giving him the permission that he's silently seeking. "Go ahead."

Joel groans and cups your ass firmly. “You have a great ass.” He growls softly. “Thought so from the beginning.”

"The beginning, huh?" It's something of a relief to find out that Joel was just as interested in you as you were in him early on. The first time he'd admitted it, you had literally sighed. There was a breath then, like there is now, that you didn't realize you had been holding. "I'm glad you like it."

He smirks slightly and moves to caress your ass like he had your back. “When you’re feelin’ up to it, my lips are lonely.” He teases, puckering them slightly.

It's small, and it's teasing, but it lifts so much of the tension in the room that you actually laugh and move in a little more with eagerness. If there's one undeniable truth about Joel Miller it's that he's a fantastic kisser, and you're not one to give that up when it's being offered. Especially not right now. Not when your time alone with him is both assured and indulgent.

Your lips aren’t hesitant this time. They are sure and still curved into a smile when you press them to his. Making his own laugh into your mouth that much sweeter. He wanted this to light, there’s so much heaviness in your lives, this should be as light as it can. Especially with your past. Taking the moment for the simplicity that it is.

There's something different about the taste of him this morning, like kissing Joel is somehow sweeter for the pure and simple reason that you're in bed together and nothing else. Your hand creeps up his arm and around his shoulder so your fingers can find their way into his hair, and the bubbly, joyous feeling in your chest bubbles over when you summon the courage to be the one to run your tongue along his lower lip in an open mouthed kiss. It's probably bolder than you've ever done before but the rightness of this feeling just can't be overstated.

Humming in surprise, Joel settles back slightly and lets you take charge of your kiss. Waiting to see if you would slide your tongue into his mouth or if you will leave it at just opened mouth to breath into each other. His hand squeezes your ass gently, encouraging you to do whatever you want and immediately goes back to caressing like it had before.

His hand feels huge like this, but not in an overwhelming way. In a way that makes you feel precious and...unexpectedly...a little worshipped. Up here in this bedroom nothing can hurt you, and that is another step forward in this sort of emboldening feeling that is brewing inside you. It's that burst of boldness that has you pushing into his side just a little bit more, tongue sliding into his mouth to relearn that part of him that you have explored only a handful of times before.

Joel grunts, his cock twitching and starting to harden in his pants, but he ignores it. Focusing on you as he continues to kiss you and caress you. Enjoying how you are unfurling for him.

The heat that rolls off of him in waves is intoxicating, making your head swim like it does whenever the two of you let the urge take over. It isn’t often, but it’s always good, and this morning feels even better.

The kisses are slow, languid. Pretending that time doesn't exist and every breath shared between you is suspended. He feels the way you are slowly starting to grinding on him, his thigh between yours.

Shallow, short, panting breaths are all the two of you can manage. Some gulps of air and soft, muffled moans. The floods your mind and your instincts and for the first time in over a year pleasure is what overtakes every thought, not fear.

He watches you, your eyes closed and your finger tight in his hair. Not because you are afraid, but because you are wanting more. He groans into your mouth and his hands settle on your hips, encouraging you to move if you want to with a small nudge.

It's like your mind has gone blank of everything except him, and the bliss of it is that you finally can let it go blank. The only thing you even need to know about in the world is Joel, and he is right here beside you. Half underneath you, technically. He not only wants you here with him but is actively devouring you at the same rate you are devouring him, and the freedom is nearly electric. Rocking hips have a mind of their own, and it really does take longer than you're proud of to realize that you're evening doing it. Catching yourself, you barely manage to pull back and force yourself to look Joel in the eyes through hazy vision. "Is...I didn't ask...if it's okay?"

“It’s always okay, beautiful girl.” Joel’s voice is rough, lust filled. “Whatever you want, you just do it to me.”

“I—I don’t really know what I want,” you admit, trying to catch your breathe and keep your entire body from setting on fire in his arms, but not succeeding very well. “Except…more.”

“You could let me— unbutton you jeans?” He asks as he nudges his nose against your pulse. “Use my fingers to make you feel good?”

It would be a lie to claim you hadn’t imagined what it would feel like. That you hadn’t actually dreamt about how pleasurable time with Joel would play out. While this isn’t quite like any of the scenarios you had dreamt up, it is real and it is happening right now, and you nod fiercely before pushing in again to kiss him with every ounce of courage built up inside you.

He knows this is a big step for you and he doesn’t rush it. Kissing you back while he slowly pulls his hand around your back to the front of your jeans. Pausing for a second to wait for any protest before he flicks the button open and leisurely pulls down your zipper.

He gets no protests at all, but a deep sigh bordering a moan that comes out of you with that deceptively small act of opening your pants. Your free hand slides just under the hem of his shirt, hot skin burning your fingers at first contact but only in the very best way.

“Tell me if you don’t like something,” he reminds you softly when his fingers first dip below the threadbare elastic band of your panties. “Only want you to feel good.”

Any flash of discomfort, even a small one, is too much and you lean back to find Joel’s dark eyes watching you. “Let me just take them off?” You ask quietly, not wanting to verbalize the fact that the fight pull of fabric against your skin hits a memory you don’t want to relive. As exposing as it is, naked is better.

“Whatever you want.” His hand eases out of your panties and he lays back, showing you that he’s not going to keep on.

“I want you.” The clarification is important, even as you slip off your jeans and underwear, letting them fall off the side of the bed in irrelevance. Shirt and bra are next, and even the act of shedding your own clothing — making your own choice to do this — frees another layer of fear from your shoulders. “I don’t want fear to be in the way of I can help it.”

“Do you want me to strip down?” Joel asks, wondering if you won’t like him being clothed and you naked. “How do you want me, beautiful girl?”

“How ever you’re comfortable.” Just because you stripped down does not mean that he has to. The state of your relation as always been respect and not reciprocity.

He decides that he wants to strip down too. He knows he’s not going to do anything that will make him cum, but if you’re going to live here, you should be comfortable with him.

It definitely more than you ever expected to happen today, but as Joel sheds his clothes beside you, there’s also a sense of peace in it. Reclaiming intimacy — not even sex, just intimacy and closeness — is like relieving an enormous burden that you aren’t ever sure could be lifted.

When he reaches the tired, worn out boxer briefs he is wearing, the outline of his hard cock clearly showing, he hesitates. “Would you like me to leave these on?”

A fair question, and though you hesitate for a moment, you decide firmly on, “No.” This decision to move forward together is too important to you, and it’s not as if you aren’t attracted to him. You have eyes, after all. “If you’re okay with it, I…I want to see you. Maybe…touch you?”

He groans quietly, nodding as he hooks his fingers into the band. “You can touch me wherever you want.” He promises.

He has never protested once about waiting for you to be ready. Never pressed and never pushed. Now you only hope that you won’t disappoint him when you’re actually ready to take the next step. “You can touch me, too.”

“My daddy was never good for much.” Joel starts as he slides his hands down, bringing the boxers with him. Grunting as he bends over to steps out of them. “But he taught me something that’s stuck with me.” Standing up, he looks you in your eyes. “It was about holdin’ a gun, but I guess it’s the same with holdin’ a woman.” He tells you. “Hold her like you love her. Slow and gentle, steady. That’s what I aim to do with you.”

“I—I do love you.” He wasn’t trying to get you to say it, or even saying it himself, but sitting up in his bed with a blanket around you instead of clothes…if you can’t say it now, then when can you? “You don’t have to…to say it back or anything. I just—it felt like the right time to say.”

You are sitting down, but he steps closer to you and kneels down, not wanting to tower over you to intimidate. “Baby, you should know that I— I love you.” He murmurs quietly, reaching for your hand. “Everything about you.”

"Get back in bed, Joel." Even with one of his big hands holding on to both of yours, you tug at him slightly to urge him to join you. "I...I really want to be close to you right now."

“Okay.” He groans again as he gets to his feet. “Fuckin’ knees.” He complains quietly. “Too fuckin’ old.”

“No more grand romantic gestures that involve kneeling,” you tease, pulling back the blanket so he can climb in beside you.

“Don’t worry about that.” He chuckles as he slides into the bed. “Probably the cold, but it’s been actin’ up.”

“Still.” Your arms are open to him this time, reminding yourself that there’s no need to hide. “I like you in one piece.”

This time, he is the one that is curling up to you, making sure he doesn’t seem to hover over you just in case. His cock is against your hip and he leans in to kiss you again. “You have me.”

To have it put for you so easily — that he’s yours are much as you are his — makes so much difference. It’s freeing instead of entrapping. Love rather than possession. It makes you melt into his kiss, hands grasping for him rather than being tentative about their touch. Not exactly greedy, but definitely no longer afraid.

It’s almost too easy, the way you eagerly fall into his kiss again. Your determination shining through and his hand lands on your hip again, warm and seeking. “Spread your legs, beautiful girl.” He murmurs against your lips.

It isn’t an order, but an urging that you happily agree to. Laying back on his pillows and letting him come that much closer to you, urging him to lean over your body. It isn’t looming, like he’s afraid it could be. Instead it feels like protection.

He starts at your shoulder, hands deciding they want to touch every inch of skin you will allow him. Lips kissing your chin, your jaw, just behind your ear. “So beautiful for me.” He rasps out. “So soft.”

Joel is full of endless praises, and you’ve caught yourself sometimes wondering if that’s something he does just for you or if it’s an old habit of his that goes back to the time before. It doesn’t truly make a difference, but you’ve wondered. The feeling of his hands everywhere on you could get overwhelming — or you fear that it could — but it’s just Joel. It’s the man who only makes you feel safe and protected and appreciated, and you sink down into the mattress with a sigh when his hand moves down from your shoulder. “Only for you,” you gasp out, his lips pressing the sensitive spot on your next just below your ear.

When his hand cups your breast, he doesn’t squeeze. It’s more of a massage, a gentle caress and he rubs your nipple with his thumb. “That’s my good girl.” He hums. There’s been plenty of times that you’ve gone over phrases or nicknames that might trigger you, so he’s confident that you won’t react negatively.

“Joel.” Things that seemed silly years ago aren’t so silly to you now, and the cooing softness of Joel’s usually deep, rough voice is so soothing as his work-calloused hands slide over your skin. Your far hand is tangled in the blanket as he leans over you, but the other anchors you to him instead. It explores the parts of his body you haven’t touched before — trim waist and strong thighs instead of the soft stomach and broad shoulders that you know so well. “Joel. Joel.” His name is a chant on your lips, growing shallower and lighter each time.

“That’s it.” He encourages, continuing to play with your breast until he feels your thighs press together and shift, wanting friction. “Gonna take care of you.”

It’s a promise, one you want to drown yourself in as much as you want to drown in kissing him. Deciding that you can only really do one of those things, you surge upward to press an open mouthed kiss to his lips, inviting him to devour you, too.

His hand has to nudge your thighs open again after his palm skims over your belly. Caressing it softly and he would say something, but reminding you of your past wouldn’t be right for this moment. Instead, his fingers comb through the soft curls covering you, gently working through them to slick skin underneath.

The deep sigh that emanates from you is almost revolutionary, and for the first time in longer than you care to remember, your eyes slip shut in pleasure to focus solely on the feeling of Joel’s hands on your body. Forgetting where you end and he begins was a seemingly impossible task not so long ago, but now you moan softly and shift your legs open for him even wider like a flower opening up for the sun.

“Fuck, you’re doing so good for me.” He moans, cock twitching at your surrender to the pleasure and he loves that you aren’t tensing up. His fingers slide through your folds, gathering the wetness and he starts a slow figure eight around your sex. Curling your entrance and coming back up to slide around your clit through your lips. “Feel good, beautiful girl?”

“So good.” It’s unbelievable just how good but this is part of Joel’s magic. He can just make everything else fade away. Your hips tilt up and you sigh again, sinking further into the mattress. “More, honey? Please?”

“You want my fingers inside you, beautiful girl?” He asks as he kisses down your throat. His mouth waters at the thought of suckling at your tits and he looks up at you to make sure you’re still on the same page. ‘More’ could mean just more of his rubbing your clit.

“Yes. God, please.” Nodding almost frantically, the hand that you had had tangled in his blanket comes up to grasp his shoulder and hold him close so you can kiss him endlessly.

He wants to chuckle at how desperate you sound but he just hums softly. Aware that you are actually starting to enjoy yourself. His fingers make another trip around your clit and this time, he doesn’t circle your entrance, just slowly starts to press, feeling you start to yield.

The soft moan he gets from you almost immediately makes him shiver, but you’re lost to it. Every sensation in your body has narrowed down to Joel’s touch and pushed every other thought out of your mind. Maybe he is that good with his hands or maybe it’s just how much you love him, or maybe it’s both. No matter what it is, it’s floating away with you on a cloud.

Your body doesn’t resist, you aren’t pushing him away. If anything, your hips are rolling down to meet his touch. He groans your name and nuzzles your breast with his cheek, his nose, before he finally wraps his lips around the stiff peak.

That extra burst of sensation makes you moan out loud, back arching off the bed and fingers digging into Joel’s arm to keep him from reeling back or second guessing himself. Close Is where you want him and you’re going to keep him there.

He hisses in pleasure against your breast, drunk on the sight of your eyes closed and lips parted so perfectly as you moan again. He doesn’t stop, just slowly curling his fingers up inside you to search for that pleasure spot.

Each time you moan for him is like a revelation all your own. Your body is doing all of its own talking now, rolling like waves in the ocean and pulled toward Joel’s own body like a magnet. The pull between you is so strong that when he finds your g-spot you keen and moan out his name loud enough that anyone in the house could have easily heard, but you’re too wrapped up in him to care or notice.

“That’s it, beautiful girl? That’s your spot?” He pulls off your breast long enough to crow about finding that place before he is suckling again, his fingers concentrating on that small spot just to hear you keen again.

“I—fuck—yes!” If he had asked if you even have a spot you would have said no, but he’s found it with seemingly no effort whatsoever. Like his intuitive ability to read your body language for emotions, he can read it for your pleasure as well. There’s no doubt in your mind that he could probably pluck you like an instrument of he wanted to but right now all he wants is to hear your pleasure so you do not hold back. The shock of being so vocal is one thing, but for Joel? For Joel you would repeat your yeses and moans and chants of his name for the whole world to hear.

He listens to you, feels you. Wanting to make sure that no old ghosts come between you and your goal. He moans, cock twitching and throbbing against your thigh as he continues to focus on you, ignoring his body’s demands for your own.

It might surprise him even more than it does you, when you reach for him. Your other hand had settled on his hip and was surely squeezing imprints into his flesh, but pleasure has so much taken over your mind that the slide of your hand from his hip to wrapping your fingers experimentally around the thickness of his cock makes both of you gasp.

His eyes close and he can’t help the experimental rock of his hips before he pulls himself back. Reminding himself that he needs to focus on his task.

“It’s okay.” Murmured just as soon as you turn your head, you open your eyes and place lingering kisses on Joel’s jaw. “I want to. Please?”

“Whatever you want.” Joel promises you, his dark eyes on you and alight with passion. “Just let me know what you want.”

“I want to make you feel good, too.” It is the shared aspect of the experience that makes all the difference. That one of you isn’t taking everything from the other, but that you’re sharing the moment together. That’s what makes it an act of passion and love rather than just a sexual encounter. And for you? That makes all the difference.

“You are, beautiful girl.” He promises, his fingers slick and making the most beautiful sounds as they move in and out of you.

As the pair of you devolve back into moans and sighs of each other’s names, the coil of pleasure that tightens in your belly is unmistakable. The experimental strokes of your hand wrapped around his length become surer, pace quickening, your whole body rocketing toward your own end and wanting to take him with you despite knowing that it probably isn’t going to happen that fast. It’s the haze of actual, beautiful, loving pleasure that’s settled over you like a blanket, and it’s what you want more than anything.

“That’s it, sweetheart.” Joel is moaning his encouragement and huffing against your breast. “You’re so fuckin’ pretty when you’re on the edge. You gonna cum for me?”

It’s possible you’ve entirely forgotten how to speak with how close you are, and your eyes slip closed again when you nod almost frantically. The moan from your lips is half his name and half incoherent begging, asking for the release that is so literally right at his fingertips. That only he can give you and that you hope past hoping that you can give to him too with each stroke of your fist.

He smirks, “yeah, you are.” He coos, his voice heavy with lust. “You’re gonna cum all in my hand for me.” He can feel the way your body is tensing under him, ready for the perfect moment to break apart in bliss. “My beautiful girl’s gonna cum.”

It is as much permission as you could look for, and your body seems to know it. The bow and bend in your back sharpen as the sound is strangled from your throat, cutting off his name with a desperate cry as you fall apart for his hand.

There’s something breathtaking about the way you cry out. Body quaking and trembling, not in fear, but in rapture.

The world stands still for those few moments. There is nothing at all except bliss, and the bulk of Joel's broad body above you, and the way he twitches in your hand seeming to run in perfect sync with the spasms of your own body as you come down from the clouds.

Joel doesn’t rush you, drawing it out with the slower curl of his fingers than before, kissing up your body before capturing your moans for him greedily with his mouth. Wanting to keep them for himself as he enjoys your orgasm with you.

“Joel.” It’s more of a whisper than a cry this time, when you finally open your eyes to look at him. “Tell me what you want?”

“Touch me.” He begs. “However you want. I want you to just touch me.”

Your hand had fallen away from him to make sure you didn’t squeeze too hard and accidentally hurt him at the peak or your own orgasm. Now you touch your fingers between your thighs to wet them with your own slick and wrap your hand around his cock again, feeling it twitch with the pressure and friction. Every stroke builds on the last, wanting him to feel every bit as good as you do right now.

Your touch, this time so much more sure of itself, makes his eyes fall close and his body rolls onto his back. Your own follows him so you are draped over him like a perfectly warm blanket. “Fuck, fuck, you are so— so fucking perfect.” He moans quietly. “So fuckin’ pretty.”

Praise is absolutely not lost on you, and every murmur and moan makes you work that much harder. Learning what works for him and what doesn’t isn’t difficult when Joel is so vocal, and before too long his hips are stuttering as he tries to chase the rhythm of your hand.

A shudder runs through his body, unsure if he would ever have you touch him like this. Panting as he curls his toes and his stomach tightens. “Gonna cum.” He warns you roughly.

“Show me.” You keep the pace of your movements and the same pressure with your hand and watch every movement in his body. “Let me see you, honey.”

He grunts, nodding seriously and his eyes flutter open again to focus on you. “Love you.” He knows you adoring hearing the words and he’s worked on being more vocal with you. It hadn’t helped him with Tess, he regretted not vocalizing his feelings before she died and he wouldn’t make that mistake again.

“I love you too, Joel.” And what a hell of a morning for it to be said for the first few times. You’ll never forget a single thing about any of it. Especially not the blissful relaxation on his face just half a second after every muscle in his body tenses, that moment of explosive pleasure washing over him in an enormous wave.

In the last year, orgasms had been necessary. Functional. Something to be dealt with quickly when the need came over him. Often hurried and moved on from, but from the way you keep stroking his cock and cooing after he starts to cum, he knows you have every intention of drawing this out for him. “Fuuuuuuuuuuuck.”

The splatter over his stomach and down your hand is a beautiful sight, one that you take in greedily before laying back beside him in bed. “I love you,” you murmur again, letting yourself sigh and bask in the moment.

Joel pants, nodding as he tries to catch his breath. “Hope to hell you do.” He chuckles. “Holy shit.”

“I do.” And it rests gently in your chest like a bird happily resting from its flight. “So much.”

He reaches for you, wrapping his arm around your back and he starts to stroke it idly. “How was that, beautiful girl? Was it worth the risk?” He knows it’s cost you to expose yourself again, mentally and physically. So he doesn’t want you to regret it.

“I’ve never been safer than I am with you.” Of that, you are completely certain. And you’ve never been more certain than you are in this moment.

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @katheriner1999 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @haylzcyon @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101 @loveslide @elegantduckturtle @becsworld @julesonrecord @its-nebuleuse @itsrubberbisquit @mikeyswifie @guelyury @lizzie-cakes @for-a-longlongtime @vabeachazn @purplerain04

N2N: @missladym1981

#Pedro Pascal #Pedro Pascal character fanfiction #Pedro Pascal fanfic #Joel Miller #Joel Miller x you #Joel Miller x reader #Joel Miller x female reader #Joel Miller x f!reader #The Last of US #TLoU #TLoU HBO #reader with trauma

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vintagetvstars · 2 months

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Claude Rains Vs. William Hopper

Propaganda

Claude Rains - (Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Wagon Train, Rawhide) - "The reason I got into Old Hollywood and started studying theatre and film! He's such a little cutie as well as a smoking hot, velvet voiced morsel of evil - he's that good and can play both so easily!..." text propaganda continued below the cut.

William Hopper - (Perry Mason) - "Why do I love him? The list abounds..." text propaganda continued below the cut.

Master Poll List | How to submit propaganda | What is vintage? (FAQ)

Additional propaganda below the cut

Claude Rains:

While he might be more famous for his movie roles(like Casablanca, The Invisible Man, Lawrence of Arabia, Now, Voyager, and Mr. Skeffington to name a few!), he was also a television star in his own right! He had lots of guest spots on various shows but in the tv-realm, he's probably the most well known for his work for "Alfred Hitchcock Presents" and was a frequent collaborator with Hitch himself, having the spotlight for five episodes! My favorite tv performance of his was playing Father Amion in the episode "The Horseplayer", where he plays the kindest priest who gets taken for a ride and it's so heartbreaking to see him in tears where he confesses that it's his fault the church's funds were used for less than better means (but it all works out in the end!). It's such an honest performance and it's a refreshing change from all his evil villians (but we love them anyway!) he'd done in the past. Another favorite performance of mine is his performance as Leonard Eldridge in the episode "The Door Without a Key", a seemingly amnesiac old man who makes a bond with a lost boy in a police station. They're adorable together and I found myself tearing up a little when they both confess how lonely they are in the world.

youtube

William Hopper -

William Hopper was a tall guy (6'3"!) but such a gentle sweetheart. He was in acting for the majority of his life (barring serving as a frogman in WWII and working as a car salesman post-war for a few years), but he really stepped into his own with his role as Private Detective Paul Drake in the Perry Mason TV Series from 1957-1966. William Hopper actually didn't really love the Hollywood scene, mostly because he grew up with it since he was a child. His mother was Hedda Hopper and she really wanted him to be an actor and became quite overbearing about it, but he was more of an introverted soul. He first started out in films in his early 20s, but William Hopper always felt like people were giving him jobs because of his mother's influence with her gossip column. HOWEVER, after the war and after William Hopper sold cars for a few years, he came back to acting but he said he was only going to come back if 1) he did it his way/gave himself to it and 2) his mother stayed out of his career so he could make it on his own. Those two things happened, and William Hopper made his own way.

His big major starring role in a television series was, without a doubt, Perry Mason. He was Private Detective Paul Drake. To take on that role, William Hopper personally went out and made friends with Private Detectives to try to bring their experiences to his role. William Hopper also was credited by Alan Alda for showing the acting world how to shine as an actor without demanding the spotlight all the time. Alda said: “William Hopper’s ability to be present in a scene without demanding the spotlight is an art form in itself. He showed us that one can shine without the blinding glare.” Which, I think, really was a big testament to William Hopper playing a private detective--- he was always commanding the series and making the moves and observations that led to finding the guilty person in a criminal case, but he was always doing so in a way that was true to the work of a private detective: hiding and working in plain sight.

Other fun facts about William Hopper that make him so lovable: he LOVED the beach and loved fishing and swimming. When he wasn't filming for Perry Mason (they would film 6 days a week for 1 episode during filming), William Hopper would go to the beach. According to an interview, William Hopper's personal wardrobe was mostly casual clothes: swim trunks, sandals, and sweatshirts. He took all his formal wear to the Perry Mason set and just kept it there to wear when he played Paul Drake. He said if he ever had to go to a formal occasion, he would just go drive to the Perry Mason set and pick out one of his outfits. But the formal wear he had was bold! He wore houndstooth jackets, various checked patterns, and herringbone. If he wasn't at the beach, he loved to go to baseball games. In school, he played sports: swimming, baseball, boxing, and basketball.

he's the guy on the far left - I know his face is hard to see here but I'm going for the Hot Vintage Man bare shoulders vibe:

I spoke before about how William Hopper made a lasting impact as an actor portraying Paul Drake and shining without demanding the spotlight, but he also made a lasting contribution to Paul Drake's character. Paul Drake was a character based on Erle Stanley Gardner's books, which were published between 1933-1973. When William Hopper got the role as Paul Drake in the Perry Mason TV show from 1957-1966, Gardner was still writing the books. When asked about playing Paul Drake, William Hopper said: "If they thought they were getting Paul Drake, they were mistaken. Because what they got was me, nobody else. I play him my way. Now I'm amused to read Gardner's new books. Paul Drake comes out like me."

He made such a lasting impression on Paul’s character on TV that even the author of the books started writing Paul like William Hopper's interpretation!

There's also an anecdote from the wardrobe supervisor on the set of Perry Mason who said William Hopper was a very kind man, a good guy, and a good actor. William Hopper's cast mate, Raymond Burr, once said that "William Hopper was even more precise, more good looking, more fun" in real life than what we, the viewers, got to see him on screen.

To add some more to Raymond Burr's point that William Hopper was "fun", he liked to play practical jokes with his castmates on Perry Mason. In an interview, William Hopper said "You might say there's never a serious moment except on camera." He and all his castmates on the set loved to play jokes with each other to make each other laugh. So he was just a fun guy to be around, apparently!

Also, in the final season of Perry Mason, William Hopper cut a tendon on his foot while filming and he wound up in a cast. They had to rewrite the final episodes so that William Hopper didn't have to do a lot of running around like he usually does. Well, in all those final episodes, you wouldn't even tell that William Hopper was in a cast and having to move around in crutches. And I realize that yeah, they rewrote the scripts to help, but William Hopper doesn't waiver once and doesn't let on about his injury. Plus, according to an interview, the cast attached a little horn to William Hopper's crutches and William Hopper would honk the horn when he was coming to let his cast mates know he was there. Which I just kind of think is sweet.

idk I feel like his hands are pretty beautiful here:

Also, I talked before about William Hopper struggling a bit in finding his own way in acting. It wasn't really until he got into TV shows and with Perry Mason that he felt like he found his place and enjoying acting. Before, William talked about being nervous in front of the camera, but it was working on a LIVE TV show with Claire Trevor when he said, "I was so scared I canceled. I swore I'd never act again as long as I lived. Then I thought, what the heck, they can't shoot me, and walked on the set. Something happened then. It was as if someone had surgically removed the nerves."

And when he talks about his role as Paul Drake, he said, "I'm very fond of him, and as long as Perry Mason is around on television defending various and sundry clients, Paul and I will be very happy to be around helping him."

So he really came into his own as Paul Drake, which I really love about William Hopper. To know he found his way and made something he felt proud of.

Also in terms of William Hopper being physically attractive, I mean, he was so incredible. He once said he was just a guy with premature grey hair and a non throbbing actor, but I personally think he's a heart throb. He had the most loveable smile, broad shoulders, a deep, sultry voice, amazing chest hair (lol), and like.. really absurdly beautiful hands?!? He was also really tall and strong but also by every account he was really gentle and sweet. Larger than life. Sometimes in the Perry Mason shows, William Hopper would swim and he has an incredible swim scene that rivals Mr. Darcy. He's in swim trunks and wins a swim race and comes dripping out of the pool to make anyone swoon. I just love him!

youtube

#vintage tv stars poll #tv men 1 #claude rains #william hopper #Youtube

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persevereforahappyending · 2 months

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A Beacon in the Dark |3|

Pairing: Joey x Reader

Summary: Joey likes helping people, it's what she's best at. Hunting down the monsters of myth and legend might be the best way to save people.

Warnings: Talk of murder and Death

Word Count: 3.7k+

Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Ana walked through her front door, sighing as she went to put her gun back in its compartment again. She glanced at her watch, she still had over an hour before she had to go get Caleb from school. She gave a little hum, it seemed you had been right, you had gotten her back home before Caleb got out of school.

Ana wasn’t sure if the ride back home had been better or not, she wasn’t anxious about you trying to kill her, but you dropped a lot of information on her. She knew vampires were real because she had witnessed them, she had been attacked by them. She remembered the story of the Le Domas family it had been huge news at the time, an entire family, ten people dead, plus their butler and two maids. It was something out of a horror film, the amount of blood at the scene, on top of it, the house burned down. Then the fact that the only survivor was the younger brother's wife who had just married into the family. The whole case had been suspicious from the start, Ana never imagined the truth wasn’t betrayal and greed, at least not in the way most would think, instead the truth was a demon.

Vampires were real, she had come to accept that. Now, demons were real and if she got involved with you and Grace, who knew what would end up turning out to be real. Anna wasn’t sure if she was ready to have her eyes open that much to that part of the world. Fighting supernatural monsters didn’t seem like the best course, it would probably be more dangerous than her current illegal occupation. She was intrigued though; she had been curious ever since learning about Abigail and the pay would probably be better than anything Ana could hope to find.

Before she knew it Ana was headed back out, making her way to pick up Caleb. She quickly walked down the street, much less paranoid that she was in the morning. She got there a few minutes early, like always. It wasn’t much longer before the bell rang and kids came running out of the building. Ana instantly found Caleb’s head of hair in the crowd of kids, her eyes tracked his movements as he waved goodbye to a friend and slowly made his way to Ana. When Caleb looked up, his eyes widened for a split second when they landed on Ana, as if he didn’t expect her to be there.

Ana fiddled with the candy in her pocket, itching to pull out a sucker. She had been good ever since she got Caleb back, she was always in the same spot. She wondered what had been going through his mind all day. She told him she had a job interview and would be there, she wondered if he doubted her. She had made him promises before, only to end up letting him down. She had a second chance to make things right and she wasn’t going to screw that up, she wouldn’t disappoint Caleb again.

She smiled as Caleb walked up to her and then they began their walk back to the apartment. “How was your interview?” Caleb asked quietly, breaking the usual silence they walked in.

Ana opened and closed her mouth a few times, looking down at her son. Caleb continued looking forward, gripping the straps of his backpack just a bit tighter. “It went well,” Ana answered softly. Caleb whipped his head to the side, looking up at Ana. “It’s different than what I was looking for, but they seem to really want me.”

“That’s cool.”

Ana nodded. “They’re going to call me to let me know when I can start my…” Ana looked off to the side, quickly wracking her brain for something that sounded normal. “Onboarding.” Ana nodded to herself, quite proud of her answer, it wasn’t like she was about to tell Caleb a random stranger stalked her to offer her a job in hunting down monsters.

Caleb nodded and they continued the rest of their walk in silence. Ana didn’t miss the small smile on Caleb’s face. She couldn’t help but smile herself, it seemed like she actually did something right. A part of Ana hoped the job worked out, as long as she could still spend time with Caleb and didn’t constantly need to cancel on him, things would be fine. It seemed like just getting a job that actually wanted her was enough to make him at least the slightest bit proud of her.

When they got home Caleb ran off to his room, as usual. Ana took out her laptop and began applying to jobs again. She knew you and Grace made her a good offer, but Ana didn’t want to rely solely on it, she hadn’t gone on a job with you yet and if the first one didn’t work out, then she was out. She wasn’t going to risk her life or her sons' life to fight monsters. As tempting as the money was, she was prepared for it to not be worth it.

“Mom?” Caleb asked.

Ana closed her laptop slightly, not wanting Caleb to see the rejection emails she was deleting. They hurt a lot less now that she had the offer from you, but she still didn’t want Caleb to see that no one else wanted her. “Yeah, sweety,” Ana said, turning to the side to face Caleb.

Caleb stood in the doorway, a folder and pencil in his hand as he shifted from foot to foot. “Can you help me with my homework?”

Ana straightened her back she was sure her eyes lit up. This had been the first time Caleb asked her for help on his homework. Whenever she offered, he always rejected the help and said he had it. Ana knew Caleb was smart, his grades were fine but whenever he dismissed her help it seemed more like he didn’t want her help specifically, not that he didn’t need any help at all. She had watched him a few times as he’d grip his hair, staring down at the paper or constantly write something only to erase it. He still never took her up on her offer, this was the first time he came to her asking for help.

“Of course,” Ana said instantly. She closed her laptop and pushed it to the side, so Caleb had room to set his homework.

Caleb slowly walked forward, setting down his folder with his worksheet on top of it. Ana peek around his shoulder to see that it was math. Caleb kneeled on the floor, sitting back on his heels. “I don’t get it,” he mumbled.

“Let’s see here,” she reached towards the paper, lifting it up slightly to get a better look. She slowly nodded to herself; it looked a little different than the math she grew up with, but it seemed mostly the same, just a different method. “Do you have a piece of scrap paper?”

Caleb nodded before getting up and running off to his room. He came running back in a few seconds later, notebook in hand. He handed the notebook to Ana and sad down just as he had before. Ana started mumbling to herself as she started to write out the equations.

“Okay, here,” Ana said, handing Caleb the paper with her work once she figured out how to solve the problem.

She sat there, explaining to Caleb how she solved the equation. Caleb nodded along, seeming to understand what she was saying and then tried it on his own for the next problem. Ana watched over Caleb as he worked through equation after equation, slowly completing the worksheet. Every few equations Caleb would ask for more help in having to solve it and Ana would only have to explain how to get it started before Caleb was nodding and finishing it all on his own.

“Thanks, mom,” Caleb said when he was all done.

“Anytime,” she whispered.

Caleb stuffed his worksheet in his folder then took off to his room. Ana sighed, relaxing back against the couch, all she did was help her son with homework and yet she couldn’t stop smiling. She glanced at the clock and saw it was getting late and she had yet to make dinner. She decided chicken nuggets and mashed potatoes were a quick enough meal and got to work on that. When it was all done, she called Caleb out for dinner, and he actually joined Ana at the little dining table they had. It wasn’t often Caleb actually ate dinner with her, he had the habit of taking his plate to his room.

Towards the end of their meal Ana’s phone began to vibrate, when she glanced at her phone, she didn’t recognize the number. “Hello?” she answered.

“An-Joey,” a voice she recognized as Grace quickly corrected. “Sorry for disturbing you so late.”

“It’s okay, we were just finishing up dinner.” Ana didn’t miss the way Caleb kept glancing at her out of the side of his eye while he pretended to focus on his chicken nuggets.

“I just wanted to say we have our next case.”

“Already?” Ana had just taken a drink of water and nearly choked. She didn’t think she’d be waiting super long to hear from them again, when Grace asked to give them just one mission, she figured she’d hear from you guys soon, she didn’t think soon meant literally later that night.

“We’ve been investigating this for a little while, but we didn’t know what the pattern was before. We have a rare opportunity coming up, one we can’t pass on.”

“Okay,” Ana said slowly. She wondered if Grace could sound any more ominous.

“It’s a lot to go over on the phone,” Grace sighed. She sounded exhausted, like she had been up all night. Ana didn’t know Grace well enough, but she gave the impression that she didn’t sleep much when working. “Would you be okay with meeting again tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Ana nodded. “Same time as today?” she glanced at Caleb, once she dropped him off, she’d have the whole day.

“Yes, of course,” Grace agreed immediately. “Y/N will pick you up the same time tomorrow.” Ana closed her eyes, she didn’t hate you or anything, you were just a mystery, she didn’t like mysteries, especially when she had to sit next to them for long car rides. “Don’t worry, I told them to behave,” Grace mumbled.

Ana couldn’t help but chuckle at that, you were a little annoying, but you weren’t too terrible, yet. “Thanks.”

“See you tomorrow.” With that Grace hung up and Ana went back to finishing her dinner.

“Who was that?” Caleb asked after a few minutes.

“My new boss,” Ana answered. “Potential new boss. I’m going in to start my training tomorrow after I drop you off.”

Caleb nodded. “Will you still be able to pick me up?”

Ana opened her mouth, she figured they were just going to go over information tomorrow, but she didn’t know how long that would take. In any previous job she was given the bare minimum of information, only what she needed to know when she needed to know it. She assumed you and Grace were more thorough with your research and didn’t keep things hush hush. She didn’t need to go on a mission to know what the two of you did was dangerous, you all had apparently survived something supernatural before and Ana certainly knew that knowledge was power when it came to the supernatural.

“I should be able to,” Ana said. “If for some reason my training goes longer than I expect I’ll call Mrs. Johnson.” she didn’t want to have to rely on her old neighbor but if this mission went well, she figured she might have to ask Mrs. Johnson to watch Caleb or ask her to pick him up a few days.

Caleb silently nodded, his eyes falling to his empty plate. “Hey,” Ana whispered softly. “I’m going to do everything I can to be there on time.” Caleb nodded, then silently went to his room.

Ana sighed, slumping back in her chair before grabbing the plates and placing them in the sink. She finished cleaning up then watched some mindless TV before going to bed. The next morning, she was up and had a breakfast sandwich ready to go before Caleb walked out of his room.

She walked Caleb to school as usual and like the day before, as soon as the bell rang you pulled up in your Jeep. Ana barely glanced at you before flinging the door open and jumping in the passenger seat. You smiled at her, tilting your sunglasses down as you held up a coffee for her, she didn't miss the ‘Joey’ scribbled across the side in black marker. She wasn’t sure if you were trying to be an ass or not, but she appreciated that you were listening to her and only referring to her as Joey. She rolled her eyes, mumbling a small thanks as she accepted the coffee.

“You ready to learn about our first case?” you asked. You were relaxed in the seat, resting one hand on the steering wheel as you made the familiar drive that Joey was sure you had done hundreds of times by now.

“Do I get a hint as to what we’re dealing with?” Joey asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

“No idea,” you whispered, giving her a smirk.

“What?” Joey turned to face you as much as she could. “What do you mean you don’t know? Grace said you’ve been on this for a while.”

“We have,” you nodded. “Sometimes we don’t know exactly what we’re dealing with. It’s part of the dangers of the job.” Joey sighed, she assumed you and Grace would know what you were dealing with. “We try to know as much as we can but sometimes it’s hard to determine what exactly we’re dealing with. If it’s something familiar, with a pattern, like vampire, then it’s easier. When it’s something new though,” you shook your head. “It could be anything.”

Joey went back to staring out the windshield. She fiddled around in her pocket before pulling out a little sucker, she popped it into her mouth and ignored the side glance you shot her. The rest of the ride was filled with a comfortable silence besides the radio playing quietly in the background.

Before she knew it you turned down the secluded street and began passing mansion after mansion. Joey truly couldn’t imagine what the people who owned those houses did. She never would have guessed Grace inherited her money through marriage and now used it for funding supernatural monster hunts, but she didn’t think any of the other rich people on the street were doing that. Finally, you pulled into the familiar driveway and almost instantly the gate opened for you.

Joey followed you through the house and back to the same room as the day before. She could see from the outside that the house was absolutely massive, but she had only seen a small fraction of it. The house was clearly old, though well taken care of, Joey was curious what secrets it held. She would bet money that it wasn’t just a simple multimillion dollar mansion, but that Grace had more than a few secret rooms throughout the place.

“Welcome back,” Grace greeted. “Let’s get to it.” she gestured to the other side of the room where Joey had seen the pegboard, which was even more full than the day before and there were two more boards added to the mix.

Joey couldn’t help the way her eyes widened; you had told her you did your research, but she was seeing that herself for the first time. There were various news reports, online articles printed out, pictures of the same two people, and little handwritten notes spread across the three boards. There was also a red string connecting various papers back to the unknown man and a blue string connecting more papers to the unknown woman.

“As a surprise to probably no one in this room,” Grace said, jumping right into things. She stood at the front of the room next to the boards. “High society people tend to be the common denominator for supernatural killings.” Joey saw you nodding along out of the side of her eye. “We’ve been tracking mysterious killings for over a year now. They’ve been hard to put together because the victim is usually some random unknown person.”

“AKA, arm candy for one of the rich pricks,” you said. “Someone not in that life, someone-”

“No one will miss,” Joey finished.

“The victims are seemingly random,” Grace continued. “Men, women, various ages, it doesn’t matter. The only common factor is the way they died.” Grace reached across for something on her desk then pinned up several pictures of different victims.

“Holy shit,” Joey said, stepping closer to the board. She narrowed her eyes at the pictures of the victims, they all looked the same, their eyes were wide open, their mouth barely parted, but their faces were pale and sunken in, like someone quite literally sucked the life out of them.

“We’ve never seen anything like this before,” you said. “We don’t know what we’re dealing with, just that these two people,” you pointed to the man and woman. Joey had to admit both of them were unreasonably attractive, she wasn’t sure if that was a sign they were a supernatural monster though. “Show up at every party where there is a victim.”

“Which isn’t saying much,” Grace interjected. “High society people tend to run in the same circles, very small circles.”

“So, who are they?” Joey asked.

“His name is Marcus Carter, a typical rich businessman.”

“And she is Karoline Knight,” you said. “Typical trust fund girl living off daddy’s money.”

“She goes to the functions to mingle with business partners,” Grace added.

“Do they know each other?” Joey asked.

“Hard to say, they must know of each other. People like this, everyone knows everyone.”

“We’ve never seen them in person,” you said. “Based on all the footage we’ve found and anyone we’ve talked to, they arrive separately, leave separately, they never interact at the parties, and killings have happened at parties where only one was in attendance.”

“Any chance both are killers?” Joey asked. She already knew what it sounded like when she asked but she had to ask. Killings happened at parties they were both at and at parties where only one of them was present, that couldn’t be a coincidence.

“Doesn’t seem likely,” Grace said. “Nothing is impossible. Nothing’s indicated they’ve ever spoken; let alone they kill together.”

“Also, the kills are the exact same,” you said. “The odds of them both being a killer is incredibly rare.”

“So, what’s the plan?” Joey asked, crossing her arms.

“I’m glad you asked,” Grace smiled. She moved away from the boards and back around to her desk, she opened one of the drawers and pulled out a small rectangle with gold etching for a border and perfectly handwritten calligraphy, “There’s an exclusive party Saturday,” Grace held out the item in her hand. “And you two have an invite.”

Joey gently took the invite from Grace. She only vaguely recognized the address, she recognized the name of the street, it was a gated community, sort of like the one Grace lived in. The place was fill with multimillion dollar mansions, all bought up by billionaires, some living there full time and other using it as a vacation home. Joey had never seen an invitation like this before, whoever was throwing the party literally paid someone to hand write every single invitation and based on the one Joey was holding, they were flawless.

“Does that work for you?” Grace asked, snapping Joey out of her thoughts.

Joey quickly nodded. “Yeah, my son will be at his dads this weekend so no problems.”

“Great, Y/N will pick you up a little before the party, the two of you will come back here to get ready, and you’ll be off, hopefully to catch a killer.”

Once the plan was settled on Joey was back in the car with you, headed back to her side of town. The meeting had gone much longer than she thought, it hadn’t felt like she had been there very long but going over the research, the plan, and everything had been so interesting. Joey was a doctor, but she had never seen something like that happen to a body before, she was intrigued how this monster was killing people.

She tried to not keep glancing at the clock when she realized it was late and she might not make it in time to pick up Caleb. She focused on grabbing another candy from her pocket then spent the rest of the car ride tapping her fingers alongside the door. She couldn’t even focus on what was playing on the radio, she had told Caleb she’d do everything she could to pick him up on time and she was most likely going to fail. She hadn’t even officially had her first day of work, it was just a debrief on her first mission, which was a trial run for her, just something to see if she actually wanted to work with you and Grace.

Joey was brought out of her thoughts when she felt the car come to a stop. She looked around seeing they were in front of Caleb’s school, the same place you picked her up. “What are you doing?” she couldn’t help but ask. You held up your finger and a second later the school bell rang, signaling the end of day.

Joey looked down at her lap where she was playing with the wrapper of one of her candies. You had done it again; you got her back home in time to pick up her son. She hadn’t said anything to you, she didn’t even ask you to drop her off at the school, it was just something you did. “Thank you,” she mumbled, before slipping out of the car. You gave her a soft smile, then you were off before the first student was out the door.

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