#her reflecting on running from this good thing and putting distance between them...

[lovetique]

"no, no," dismissive hand waved him off, "albert einstein is your signature look. i wouldn't even know who you are if you weren't giving albert." hard getting the joking words out from the giggles choking her up, gasping for air at this point and small hand clutching her stomach like it might help.

"besides my mom, you're my favorite person. that's gonna never change. no one else is funny and smart at the same time like you." finger gently pressed into his cheek, next to the corner of his mouth. voice sweet and kind, mirroring in her gaze as well as their eyes locked. and elena could see how he was searching for something in hers... probably any clue of her lying when there was zero. it only made sense to dish her honest compliments, things she admires a lot about him after poking fun at him. even if she never got to see him again, he'd always be her favorite human. "only one? well, i wonder how i got so lucky to feel so special." it automatically made her smaller frame cling to his bigger one, arms squeezing him as cheek nuzzled into his cheek like an affectionate cat despite the stubble on his face scratching her skin.

she jumped in an amusing way when marcus responded right away to her fingers dancing aimlessly against his sides and stomach, causing her warm eyes to brighten in wild excitement at his laughs, even content at the answer... he's in fact ticklish. then it causes her to laugh along with him asking if she tickled him. "it was about time you had an updated tickle visit. i got curious." elena admits, puppy dog brown eyes blinking innocently despite the grin curving her lips saying otherwise.

"and it was s–" words getting cut off, her body immediately responding, causing her to squirm and kick at the sheets. head immediately thrown back in the pillow behind her, she squeaked with laughter, eyes squeezing shut at how easily painfully ticklish she most certainly is. "noo! NOT tickle revenge!" she grabbed his hands as she writhed, squirming around like a squiggly snake, attempting to peel them off her sides.

"but it sucks dealing with the day with little sleep, feeling grumpy like oscar the grouch." she breathed, feeling like she'd ran a marathon from his tickle revenge, "you know, from sesame street. the one who likes living in a trash can." she rambled on, amuse smile temporarily lacing her voice. "and i worry about you." the biggest factor. brunette frowns, despite the smile that fluctuates in between at how thinking about her is informed. sweetness to her heart that painfully makes it swell into a pang of huge guilt. starting to feel like she doesn't deserve someone like him. "we'll go to sleep now, even if we don't want to. and you'll see me again quicker than you think." it was excruciating to say that, when she was contemplating on distancing. she pecked his cheek while cupping the other with her hand, then moved to hug his torso, treating him as her human teddy bear –– and settle her head back on his chest as a pillow. calming down after a chaotic night, that turned into safety, comfort and the feeling of home. .. if this is home, why would she run away from it? the question that'll keep her up all night.

the silence he used to be comfortable with now eats him alive because this is the only sound he wants to hear — elena’s laughter. the sound bouncing off of his blank walls and empty decor, save for a photo of his mother and little sister on his dresser, forced marcus to realize how vacant this place felt. nothing else in his apartment felt distinctly personal, as if he could be plucked out of it without a thought. but her laugh is a living thing all on its own, and it feels like the sun on his face, so it predictably warms the frigid bones of his home. “alright, alright, i’ll make sure my hair is perfectly coiffed the next time i see you,” laughter leaks through each syllable, but the promise is weak. he would look like a fool anywhere, any time, just to pull this reaction from her. her head is perfectly positioned on his chest, eyes sparkling with confusion and tone bearing the slightest bit of defense. the certainty in her voice displayed a sort of conviction that was rare from her, but marcus couldn’t allow himself to believe it to be true. beyond all of the concrete facts that he couldn’t ignore or displace from his mind long enough to dive into that daydream, it would hurt too much. marcus holds her gaze for a long moment, searching her eyes for the tiniest scrap of dishonesty or placation, but he comes up empty. he can feel his heart quicken in pace. “okay then, i’m your favorite person,” he softly concedes, expression twisted in emotion. “it’s mutual, then. you’re the only person i think about.” words fall from his mouth too quickly, but he’s sure she knows, and there’s no use in futile backtracking. “and there’s the position title for my new business cards - mr. proper,” he grins toward the ceiling, shaking his head. marcus had worked toward that adjective his entire life – proper; put together, disciplined, gentlemanly. he had adult responsibility thrust on his shoulders since his teens, and maintaining a semblance of composure was sometimes the only thing that held him together. but, still, he had his many cracks, and although they were well tended to, elena still took the time to notice them. the unrelenting jabs in his sides and stomach startle him, bringing about an eruption of laughter and wild movement. for once, he’s scrambling out of her grasp. “did you just tickle me?” he asks astonishedly once the attack is over. “i haven’t been tickled in — god, 10 years?” blows a sigh out of his lips, feigning exhaustion, until he’s quickly returning the favor as he’s turned to face her, hands latched to her sides, touch light and incessant. “already am,” he answers quickly and assuredly, fingers still aimlessly threading through her hair. free hand comes to rest underneath his head, eyes feeling heavier and heavier with each passing moment. whatever exhaustion he felt was outweighed by the sound of her voice, pulling him out of sleep’s comfortable embrace. he wished they had more time, that they could take a vacation from their own lives. before he met elena, it had never occurred to marcus how much of a privilege it could be to just sleep next to someone. “i’ll do what i always do – go to work, i’ll drink my coffee, think about you,” the answer is as simple & mundane as the description of the weather, as if it were so glaringly obvious. “it’ll be just like any other day,” he hums.

his mind flickers back through the night; the kiss that still burned his lips (that was so different from all the others), the flinch at his touch, the promise of seeing her outside of this bubble they’ve so carefully cultivated, being deemed her ‘favorite person’. it proved something that he already knew to be true: nothing about this affair was sought out of convenience or insignificance for him. the pull of her was not from this game of cat and mouse; this wasn’t about victory or wanting what he couldn’t have — he was falling in love with her, if he wasn’t head over heels already. his feelings for elena were as real and tangible as anything else in this world. anything that she wanted from him was hers to keep, even if it ruined him.

[monkebearness]

Rereading the Mixed Messages [Pt. 2]

Kamimoto Kotone (tripleS) x Male Reader

Part 1

Tags: smut, fluff, creampie, blowjob

Word count: 10k

a/n: hey, it's been a while. life's gotten a little busier than usual, but hey, it's tripleS' comeback era! it's only been almost a week—but I really enjoyed (and still am enjoying) assemble25. without further ado, I hope you enjoy this one.

The sun had already set—but an assemblage of voices inside a particular classroom kept on soaring high in the past three hours, no thanks to the encouraging exchanges and the insights between Professor Kim Myungsoo and five of his much argumentative students, who remained standing in front of the lecture hall and the projector. Somehow, it seems that no one else could make a discussion on Western literature this engaging, especially when it ends up going off on another tangent—like how fanfiction became a much more accepted genre of writing in the last five years—at least more accepted than A.I. writing, something that almost all parties in the room involved would unanimously take a jab at.

“At least the ones they’re putting out have substance. They have soul, and they are ali—”

As soon as the hand of the clock hits six in the evening, the bell rings across the hallway.

“Okay! How about that? As much as our discussions are getting a little more heated, our time’s up, and we managed to make it halfway through our list!” His observation incites audible sighs of relief to the students on the chairs while a few heaves of disappointment is also heard from the five reporters, much to his amusement. In his mind, he knows the group has already passed, but the fact that they got carried away yapping alongside him has only made his final class better than expected.

“The two groups who finished their reports today, both Bongseok and Yeon’s groups, have done a splendid job with their breakdowns and critical analysis,” the professor elaborates with his proud tone. “I’m sure the remaining three will also match their quality with what we’ve all witnessed this afternoon.”

“You better not doubt us, Seonsaengnim!” a student from the front row answers him.

“You might just be surprised at how long we’ve filled out our scripts!” another heckles.

“Hmm… Well, as much as I’d like to ask more about the details of your blocky slides and hopefully your completely-original reflections,” he laughs at them lightheartedly, despite his sincere reminders going straight through their ears. “Just take it easy. You’ll have the weekend to revise and practice, but only if you want to. Now—get yourselves a good rest, all of you... We’ll continue the remaining presentations on Wednesday, arachi?”

From there, the echoes of cheers, laughters and hollers of farewells from his students follow on. “Ne! Kamsahamnida, seonsaengnim! Have a nice weekend, Kim Ssaem!”

Those final words from his own learnder widens his smile more, almost to his cheek.

Walking towards the campus gates, the professor walks alongside various other students and fellow staff, some of whom exchange bows and greetings with him on their way out. It's standard college habits. They're nothing new, but oddly enough, they are one of the things that always give him a simple reason to love his job. Something to expect from day to day in his more than a decade staying in his alma mater as a humble educator.

And right at that moment, his peripherals catch her. Locking his eyes, he finds the one special woman standing from a distance. Waiting for him with her now widening smile, his lips can't help but mirror her expression once more. Until recently, Myungsoo never knew he would have something else, nay someone else to expect to meet with night after night. At almost the same moment, they wave at each other.

With his arms opening wide, Kotone runs to Myungsoo with a warm hug. He pulls her closer, making their embrace a little tighter, much cozier, and longer for each other. “I miss you so much, boo,” the woman mumbles. He laughs at the term she used for him, but it touches his heart nonetheless. He couldn’t feel any luckier. And neither can she.

It has been three months since their relationship became official. A significant change that was made possible by their recent alumni reunion at their university gymnasium. Their fingers interlocked, walking along the pavement, past years of local businesses.

Tonight, the breeze has blown quite strongly, something that catches while holding his beloved’s hand as they take a stroll. “You’re not feeling any cold, are you?”

“Oppa, it’s summer,” she reminds him with a wide grin. A face he can’t get enough of.

“Oh, right,” he just realized what she meant. “Then, you’re not feeling too warm then?”

“I’d start to feel a little hotter these days,” she counters him, nudging his shoulder. “‘Cause that’s a lot more possible.”

His eyes slowly grow as his head tilts. He turns to her with curiosity. “What is that?”

“For a professor, you can't be this slow, Kim Myungsoo-oppa,” she teases him. “You got any ideas on how to beat the heat?” Her eyebrows raise twice on those last three words.

Such a fierce delivery from her only causes him to swallow his throat. “I can get us a couple of drinks… if you like? There’s a convenience store near my place.”

The woman’s playful grin slowly closes, turning upside down, much to his confusion. He’s taking her question way too seriously. But his mind quickly tells him to go on to their ‘contingency’ in hopes of saving the mood. He leans closer. “How about… This? Will it help you forget the heat better than a drink?”

Myungsoo wraps his arms around his girlfriend. She can only hum, satisfied with how he tried to make up with this warm gesture. “It is better… I might need more of this.”

“Even if it’ll get much, much hotter?” he wonders.

“Especially if it’ll get hotter,” she quickly answers, making both of them chuckle.

They’ve taken things slower. Not that they’ve said anything. It must’ve just felt… Right. They were friends for more than eight years, yet their feelings for each other lasted just as long as it endured through the test of time. Through dozens, if not almost a hundred dates and flings, some even consider it a miracle they found their way with each other.

= = =

Meeting each other's newer friends over local hangouts. Malls. Cafes. Restaurants.

“Myungsoo here hasn’t dated anyone in two years,” Sungjin tells Kotone.

“That's not entirely true,” he chuckles nervously, seeing her intrigue at his remark. “That’s an exaggeration… I’ve gone onto a few dates.”

His eyes turn to the side, followed by a smirk he’s trying to cover up from her while taking a sip of her glass of beer beside him.

“But… No matter how many matches I’ve gotten back then,” he continues. “None of them can ever match this woman.”

That same woman can only blush as Myungsoo sneaks up next to Kotone with a swift but passionate kiss on her cheek, inciting cheers from his two buds. “Yah…” she coos, pulled between giddiness and coyness towards him.

At first, Kotone was a little shy and awkward meeting her boyfriend’s closest colleagues, though knowing more about Myungsoo through their word of mouth and teasing slowly made her get along with them more often. In Myungsoo’s perspective, however, Tone’s buddies were perhaps the most welcoming and easygoing bunch to hang out with.

“Tone-chan really tried not to make it obvious,” Suhyeon says while munching on a potato chip. “But she's too much of an F around us to hide her facial expressions—”

Even though Kotone herself found their approach of getting to know Myungsoo to be a little more embarrassing than her boyfriend’s friends.

Kotone places a knuckle on her forehead with a groan. “Oh, enough with that whole T and F thing. You still don’t believe in those things, do you?”

She doesn't necessarily agree with their sentiment, but she simply can’t help but cringe at certain aspects of her past self. Reminiscing the times she would babble about folks’ MBTI personalities through comparisons and contrasts. It was a silly little phase that she had since tried to move past forward from, if it wasn’t for her best friend’s teases.

“Well, I don't think it's a bad way of seeing things,” Myungsoo reasons, remembering that part of Kotone’s personality. Suhyeon and her boyfriend, Sungwoo, watches him in astoundment, since he didn’t directly side with his girlfriend and went for a more devil’s advocate route. “It’s just for fun… It helped a lot of people get to know each other then.”

“Well…” Kotone slides her hair behind her ear. “Now that you've mentioned it. I was, and still am an F. I just can’t help it. It made me a little social butterfly since college.”

“Oh… So you agree with him just now, but not us?” Honggi pokes fun at her retort.

“Shut up!” Kotone exclaims, rolling her eyes at her close friends while they giggle.

“I can’t complain either,” Myungsoo casually comes to his girlfriend’s aid without much hesitation. “Kotone had a habit of comparing other people’s MBTIs back in the day… so I think it’s not too surprising. Even before we were dating—”

“Maja!” Kotone simply chimes in agreement, much to everyone else’s surprise. “And it’s not like I’m the only F in our little group. We had Junghoon too. You know that he’s the most F among us. At times, Honggi can be a little hopeless romantic—”

In the span of those three months, both their worlds began to collide with each other. Mending the time they lost in the last eight years, knowing they’ve also met more and more people before their reunion.

= = =

After a seven-minute stroll from Seoul State University, the couple heads straight to his apartment, one of their two main hangouts, aside from Kotone’s. After half an hour of Chinese takeout while talking over or reacting to the latest drama on TV has been on their night routine in the past month. But sometimes, certain scenes would invoke something in their system. Ones that pull them together. Every warm second.

Their lips have been touching in the last five minutes, sharing each other’s tasty dinner. Kotone couldn’t get enough of the orange chicken on his mouth, moving her tongue to clean the leftovers without leaving any crumbs. Still, Myungsoo, on the other hand…

Something in his mind is telling him to stop, going against his body's hunger. Wait, stop. She might feel uncomfortable… Don't touch her! You’re no different than any other perv! You're an uncivilized deviant! You don’t deserve her—

Overwhelmed by the stream of his own self-deprecating and militant thoughts, his twitching hands stop hers from touching him as well. Their lips part, starting with Tone’s, as their mood quickly fell apart. “What’s wrong?”

“No, umm… It's just, I don't know.” He can't fully explain himself.

“It seems you’re not in the mood…” she surmises, her lips folding into a simper.

“Tone…” he feels more vulnerable, his spirits crumbling with guilt.

“It’s okay… I'll be leaving in a bit too, so I don't mind…”

He maintains his grip on hers, weakening with his voice. “Mianhae.”

“Gwenchana, oppa,” she places her palm on his left cheek—keeping her reason and composure in check. “I’m not mad. It’s okay with me if you’re not ready… With me.”

He wants to say more just to make her stay. Unfortunately, his cowardice has gotten the best of him as the woman bids her farewell for the night with a soft kiss to his left cheek. Oftentimes, she would stay the whole night, snuggling on the couch and binge-watching their favorites on the television or both. Tonight has made the difference and Myungsoo doesn’t blame anyone but himself for not being courageous enough.

= = =

In the day that followed, Myungsoo pays a visit to a nearby cafe with two of his friends. Rather than spending the first hours of his weekend with Kotone like they often do, his own insecurities had driven him to meet up with their mutual buddies.

“I’m surprised Junghoon here even made the time to talk about whatever this will be,” Honggi breaks the ice. “But it’s nice to see the three of us together again.”

“It’s a Saturday,” Junghoon counters right before taking a sip of his teacup.

“That didn't stop you from being busy before… Tone has told us how hard you’ve been working at kitchens, as in plural. We couldn’t believe you even led the catering during the reunion! Like, I get that you must get paid like a lot—but do you still have time for yourself, man?”

“I do… And while your point may be true, Myungsoo-hyung called us here—so it must be about him and Tone-yah, so I wanted to meet with y’all…”

“How did you know?” Myungsoo himself becomes flustered by his guess.

“You called us,” Junghoon points out. “That rarely happens nowadays… Plus, you didn’t sound calm and collected like you usually were.”

“Exactly…” Honggi adds his grievance. “You better make it worth it, hyung.”

Myungsoo gives the two an overview of their awkward and unfortunate situation. In his eyes, he described his girlfriend as someone who’s pure yet passionate. Someone who is innocent while he was still exploring the more adult regions of his own college life, even though she was there too. At least, that's how he mostly saw Tone eight, seven years ago. She’s always been beautiful in his eyes and in his heart. And yet, now that he is living the impossible, he also realizes that innocence has been broken the moment his lips touched hers and yet a part of him still couldn’t accept that for some cosmically absurd reason. A part he’s desperately itching off his mind and skin.

“That’s your problem with her?” Honggi finds his dilemma to be somewhat bewildering.

“So… Are you sure you guys never saw her as a woman?”

“But she is a woman,” Junghoon states the obvious with his monotone voice.

“You get what I mean!” Myungsoo slightly raises his voice in a fit of desperation.

“Well… Since you’re that serious,” Honggi goes first. “I’d say that she was too tomboyish for me most of the time, no offense to Tone. Or you, hyung.”

In his mind, Honggi does have a point. But he didn’t strike her as that mere archetype. Myungsoo’s watched a few of her performances. His answer wasn’t enough to alleviate the unease in his heart. He turns his head to Junghoon, taking his mug of matcha tea.

“How about you, Junghoon-ah?”

“Hyung… I’m not sure where you’re going with this, but aside from being a good friend, Kotone was kind of like an older sister to me, or just a sister in general... I just never got to see her the way you do. And honestly, I like it that way.”

Myungsoo slowly nods with a soft smile. “That’s—ummm—that’s good to know.”

“How about you, hyung..?” Junghoon asks him back. “Since you're together now, I'm sure things will change how you see her in the next level you take.”

“Which shouldn’t even be our business in the first place,” Honggi follows. “But you know what? Junghoon’s got a point. You don’t have to rush anything in your relationship... He doesn’t even have a girlfriend at the moment—and he knows more about this than you!”

With a somewhat awkward, and even confused stare towards his close friend, Junghoon almost raises his index finger, but he is unable to make his voice firm in time. “Actual—”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Myungsoo inadvertently interrupts him, driven by uncertainty. He’s too ashamed to ask them any further questions. Junghoon can only chuckle beside him, softly shaking his head, while Honggi maintains his gaze of disappointment. Those two haven't been through this kind of situation before, not entirely. Still, today, they did their best to help him out without being too intrusive. “Thanks, both of you. Honestly… I don't know if I can get this thing off me without you.”

= = =

He still couldn’t get his mind off after that moment. It was both a small, yet significant mistake. To his overthinking brain, it’s not something he would even consider as small, but since his own closest friends weren’t enough to ease his misgivings, Myungsoo ends up going to someone else for their piece of mind. Despite still being a summer Saturday afternoon, the next meeting would take him to the campus of Seoul State an hour later.

On the same concrete bench, the two of them sit a meter apart from each other, taking refuge under the shade of the nearest maple tree.

“You’re asking me if I know what you did wrong?” She snickers. “Your own ex?”

“Mianhae, Yooyeon-ssi… I really don’t know who else to approach… Well, after Honggi and Junghoon, but it’s just—I’m still lost about our relationship, which I am happy for! But this feels like it’s different, and if I’m gonna mess up taking things to the next level, then I’m scared that I might actually lose her.”

“I’m flattered,” she chuckles. “Gwenchana. Tone-chan’s my close friend, too, you know.”

“I just wanted to hear your side of things,” he fesses up. “I thought that asking for a woman's feedback would make me understand how I can learn and make up with her.”

“And you haven’t seen anyone else since we broke up?” she presses on. “I doubt that.”

“No. They were blind dates and hook-ups, if I even got lucky, but nothing serious.”

“TMI, dude,” she tells him, one of her eyebrows raised and Myungsoo recognizing the dry yet intimidating ick in her delivery.

“Mianhae,” he tells her a second time without realizing it, triggered by disquietude.

Yet her smile remains amidst his somber expression, emanating comfort in his unease. “Again, it’s fine, Myungsoo-yah. But, you know—since you went all the way to visit on a Saturday—without any classes to teach—instead of actually just talking this conundrum out with your girlfriend… Do you really wanna hear what I think about this?”

“If it’s okay with you…” he answers with a slow nod, his smile bracing down to a gloom. “It’s fine if you’re not comfortable with it.”

“Well, I’m not too uncomfortable… And I really can’t say anything about what’s going on with you two, but… Maybe I can give my unfiltered piece of mind about our relationship in the past... I’m sure you wouldn't mind that, would you?”

“The floor is yours.” He spreads his arms wide, as his ears have always been opened.

“When we were together, you weren’t rushing into things with you simply because every other couple was ‘doing it.’ We took our time, Myungsoo—when we felt ready… So why not do the same with her? Or maybe there is something else that's been bugging you?”

“I guess…” His hand left slowly reaches his nape, trying to claw his own tension through his forests of hair. “There is… something… I don’t know, it’s just ridiculous.”

“Hmmm…” Yooyeon contemplates for a moment, interlocking her fingers before placing her chin under them. “Is this… About the whole friendship-to-lovers thing?” she guesses without much effort, tilting her head downwards.

Myungsoo looks up to her in silence, hearing a ding inside his head.

“Ooooooooohhhh…” Yooyeon’s mouth slowly gapes. “Of course… You should know that situations like this are above my pay grade. I teach Natural Science, not Behavioral.”

“Well, one can argue that human behavior is also a kind of natural phenomena, right?”

“You know, for someone who's quite desperate for an ex’s advice, you still know how to joke your way out.”

Myungsoo lets out a scoff, one triggered by pride and embarrassment to admit the truth to her. “I’m not asking you to help me out. And I'm not thaaaat desperate.”

“Whatever you say, Prof,” she rebuts sarcastically. “But… If it helps you fix this weird conundrum that you're having, then I honestly think it's not that uncommon… No matter how many or often someone goes into a relationship, they'll always have something new to explore. Something to solve together. Your problem with Kotone is nothing new for some folks, so you shouldn’t worry about it too much.”

“You know someone with the exact same experience as ours?”

“Well, not exactly,” she clarifies. “It’s more or less the opposite side of the coin in your situation, but I thought of it.”

“In what way?”

“They’ve become much, much friendlier… More of the benefits, and less of the feelings. To the point that the moment she started to catch those feelings, she took it hard when he had to reject her ‘cause he didn't feel the same way.”

“Really?” There's a balance between intrigue and caution in his mind. Maybe even a little bit of sympathy towards the people she mentioned, despite their identities being left out, perhaps out of respect, which he understands.

“Yep…” Her delivery may come off as if she's telling him a cautionary tale. “But they’ve gotten over it, though. They were never in the best position, either. They’ve made some questionable decisions… So it was for the best.”

“Huh…” Yet Myungsoo feels relief, strangely enough, his memory panning back to when they first got together months ago makes him realize just how lucky he is now. That he's not too late.

“I’d say your situation with Kotone is much more ‘blessed,’ to say the least. You may or may not have a little fight about it, but at least, I expect you to be more honest with her by the time comes.”

He cannot wait any longer. That ick towards himself, he wants to get rid of it.

After a sip of her warm cup, a smirk forms on her face. “You know… When we were together, you were so wild and exc—”

“Yah, yah, yah! TMI, noona,” he fires back with his tone of panic as he takes a quick look around the campus, much to Yooyeon’s mischief. She giggles at his reaction.

“You just had to remind me how old I am,” she rolls her eyes, followed by another light chortle. She doesn’t mind honorifics, but he knows that term always triggers something inside her, though with how long he has known Yooyeon, it’s not necessarily a bad thing.

“Nothing’s wrong with that,” he assures her with a banter. “About a year from now, I’ll catch up with y’all tricenarians.”

“Whatever, bookworm. But—anyways, I really think that intimacy shouldn’t be a big problem between you two. I may be able to convince you to slow down, ‘cause I know that your relationship will be different… but I still do hope you remember that all good relationships start with trust. Don’t be nervous when you finally open up to Kotone, just because you’re more than friends now and not to mention, I actually expected you to get closer than before as a couple!”

“Thanks, umm… That’s really reassuring, strangely enough.” Coming from his own ex, he knows she’s right about Kotone. They may be exes—but he’s learned a lot from her, and so has she. Good and bad, on both sides.

“I wish you luck,” she continues, making her voice firmer. “To both of you, hmm?”

“I’d say the same exact thing, but, umm… Still, best of luck to you too, Yooyeon-ssi.”

“I’m already thirty, and everyone else in my circle is starting to settle down with their partners. You two are lucky, you know? Like extremely lucky,” she emphasizes more.

“Come on, cheer up!” he slightly raises his pitch out of enthusiasm. “I’m sure you’ll find someone for you... Also, didn't you say before that marrying at thirty is old-fashioned?”

“This isn’t about marriage…” she scoffs and stays silent for a complete second as an idea lights up in her mind. “How about this… You set me up with one of your buddies at your department? Are you good with that?”

“Why not in your own department?” he fires another question out of curiosity. “I mean, I’d love to ask some of them, but weren’t there rumors about you and that Bio—”

“Aniyo! We had one dinner, and—let’s just say he was a bit too much. I’m not against people enjoying their meal, but half an hour in, he’s forgotten that he was on a date. I even had to pay for both our meals, it was a fever dream of a dinner.”

He lets out a chortle, in disbelief that she went along with him. “Oh—so that was true?”

“I don’t even wanna talk about it,” she shakes her head. “I’d rather talk about how often my students GPT their equation exercises than any of my bad dates. They’re that bad…”

“Oh, don’t get me started on some of my students! They really thought they’d get away by making efforts to just write prompts, instead of constructing their actual works.”

With his spirits lifted and mind reassured, Junghoon feels that he’s had enough voices from some of the people he trusts the most. Now, it’s his turn to make it up to Kotone. He takes out his phone from his pocket, while his mind imagines her ranting towards her close friends about his performance issue.

[Hey, Tone. Can we talk at my place tonight?]

[Of course, oppa!]

[I intended to stop by a little earlier, but whenever is fine.]

[Oh. Well, any works for me.]

[Drop by as early as you want.]

[It's just, I wanted to talk to you about something.]

[Of course.]

[I'll make sure to be there by six.]

[I'm just hanging out with a friend.]

= = =

Kotone’s eyes grow from his assumption. “You thought I was too innocent?”

On the contrary, his plan did not go as he expected this Saturday evening. It has only been a few hours since he went outside to ‘consult’ with friends, but he did not expect his girlfriend to find it out all of the sudden. Of course, his mind would first go for the suspect that snitched to Kotone, fueled by annoyance that things had gone off the rails.

“Where did you—It was Junghoon, wasn't it?” he throws the first question. “I know Honggi doesn’t give in that easily… Waaaaa… You two really are like siblings from another motherland.”

But she shuts it down, not letting him change the subject. “Answer the question, oppa.”

“Don't take it that way,” he lowers his cadence, his conscience now realizing that asking her back won’t help alleviate the tension of this situation any further.

“I'm not…” Thankfully, so does she. “I just want us to come clean… Please.”

“Look, I haven't done this in a long while,” he opens up. “I thought it'd be special for us.”

“Just because it's special doesn't mean it has to be, you know...” she reasons.

“What?” Much to his surprise, Kotone manages to cool herself down first.

“Perfect… Nothing ever is, oppa.” She realizes how pointless this moment will be.

“It's because—” he takes a deep sigh, concluding that there’s no other way he can confess to her how he’s truly feeling, especially with how his girlfriend has simmered down and chosen to be the bigger person, even before an argument would have taken place. “It's because—I thought I'll never be good enough.”

The woman’s heart sinks, hearing those words from his own mouth. “Oppa…”

“I know it’s stupid to admit it… But there’s always this feeling that’s holding me back.”

Myungsoo remembers his own words from that day, when he first confessed. When he reciprocated her. How his own body's response just contradicted them, no thanks to his hesitations. He rejected her and giving her more mixed messages won't allow him to get through this hindrance that has been suppressing more of his physical desires for Tone.

“During those moments, my body must have thought that—we're still friends. Even though I don't feel that way anymore... And I don't want you to feel that way too. But looking back, I think I have always fallen for you in more ways I didn't realize before.”

Her eyes widened, heartbeat accelerating with hope towards her love. “How so?”

“I guess, one that sticks to mind is when you performed that one time at the festival.”

“Oh, gosh…” Her eyes quickly close with a wide smile. “That was kinda embarrassing.”

“No. You were amazing,” he counters, cheering her on with his own enthusiasm. ”Even a lot of hoobaes mistook you for a dance or music major.”

“I know…” Kotone can’t help herself from giggling. “The guys would've teased the hell out of me if they weren't in the military then. But I didn't know you saw me like that.”

As neurons continue to fire throughout his mind, Myungsoo recalls another memory. “You’ve also put so much detail and attention to your looks whenever you’re out on a date,” he chuckles with this confession, maintaining his gaze at hers as if her face has mesmerized her. “That includes the double date you pulled me in... Remember that?”

Her face begins to redden. “Yah... That's just common courtesy. No one would wanna go out with someone without a little makeup. That’s not enough for a common gal like me.”

Common is not a word that he sees of her. “Well… I think you’re enough, Tone.”

No words leave her mouth for three seconds, until she comes up with, “What else?”

“Hmm?”

“What else… Made you fall for me?”

“When we first touched last night…” he stammered, keeping himself composed while answering her question. “I freaked out. And I thought you’re innocent, because I was used to thinking that you were pure. So...”

With her eyes glistening amidst the dim room, Kotone's face is the most beautiful thing in his eyes. A mighty and delicate diamond shining in front of him. “Mesmerizing,” he continues. “Something that I couldn't lay my hands on… Because you’re amazing.”

His hand takes hers, feeling its coldness. Yet it's a smooth sensation that cools him down, even though their touch now produces a warm affection from their hearts.

“I wasn't scared because I thought you were innocent…” he confesses, his eyes darting down on the floor out of shame. “I'm scared that when it’d happen, I’d disappoint you.”

“Well… I don't care if you think someone else is a better fit for me. If you think there’s a better version of yourself. If it's with you… That’s all that matters to me, oppa.”

She takes one step towards him. His sense of reassurance suddenly shifts into surprise.

“Kim Myungsoo…” she asks him straight, her pitch deepening. “All this time, have you not seen me as a woman before?” The same question he tried to answer with both their closest friends. The same confession he told her. Her tone still comes off as serious—yet he notices a slight upward curve on her flat lips. She’s just trying to lighten up his mood.

“Tone-yah!” the man still bursts out in panic. “What makes you think that?”

“It’s just—You know… The conversation you must’ve had with Honggi and Junghoon probably went off like that. Your talk with them made you think about our friendship, and I thought maybe that’s what made you think less of me—”

“No… It’s not like that. In my eyes, there’s a lot from you that enticed me. From the day we met.” She's read his mind. Yet slowly, he leans closer to her face. “Your lips. There’s no way I can resist them. I couldn’t… Why should I feel any different with your bod—”

Feeling something pulling them together, Kotone gives into her primal urges first, launching herself at his lips first. His arms catches her—welcoming her lust-driven pounce as she slowly wraps herself around him, a ravenous python desperate for its target. Sharing the level of her libido with him, Myungsoo trails his fingers down her curves until they reach her plump buttocks, no longer hesitant and threatened by his own voices, which are now silenced by his turbulent body as it’s hellbent on one goal. Her physical satisfaction, fueled by his dissipated impulses.

Myungsoo tightens his grip on Kotone’s ass, triggering a moan in-between their kiss. Such a delightful sound striking his ears provokes him to deepen their lips, while his tongue enters Tone’s mouth through a surge of dominance that possessed him.

“There's nothing to disappoint... How you kiss me now. How you… Touch me now...”

Their lips part, as Myungsoo listens to his girlfriend’s suggestive encouragement.

“Plus, I'm no longer your friend... You can touch me,” the daring woman tiptoes to his ear with her hot breath. “Anywhere you want, oppa... I hope that eases your mind.”

Her whisper alone sends a tingle down to his spine, eventually reaching his crotch. He feels his shaft rising—expanding with curiosity. In this instant, he has never felt more alive while he’s succumbing to her arousing spell.

They slowly undress each other—interrupted by sessions of smooches. Kotone latches her lips onto his neck then his clavicle, salivating on his sweat with her lips and tongue as a mark, that this man is hers, and only hers to share her body with, and she wants it now more than ever. For the first time, they see each other's genitals in astonishment.

Before he can consider taking the lead, she pushes him into the bed, with her eyes already focused on his cock. “Let me, oppa.”

Myungsoo only nods to her with submission, while she ties her hair with a rubber into a ponytail within a few seconds, before moving closer to her. She witnesses her lover take a deep breath, inciting a chuckle from her. “Just relax… Okay?” As soon as she’s done giving him a brief show, she joins him on the bed, crawling to the middle with him.

She takes in his rod. Her mouth isn’t the widest, but him witnessing her engulf half of it without much warning immediately sends shivers through his spine as another second, her throat touches the tip of his cock. “Ngh…” he bites his lip as he groans. “Fuuuuck.”

“Oh?” Kotone takes his cock off her mouth, retaining her smirk. “A professor cursing?”

“Mianhaeyo…” Myungsoo huffs with desperation. “You can… Keep going… Tone.”

“What’s the magic word, oppa?” she tantalizes, seeing the helplessness of her lover.

“Please, Tone-chan…” His grip on her shoulder remains tender, keeping herself from riling her up, as his manhood is under her control. “Punish me if you have to. Jebal.”

“Good boy,” she coos, even though his last plea made her eyebrows raised. There’s more from him that she hasn’t discovered. “And I thought I had to put a little more pressure.”

The woman puts her bangs to the side of her ear, locking in as she puts his cock back inside her widened mouth, with more ease this time. Her head moves in and outward. He loves the sensation of being devoured by this unpredictable woman. He couldn’t be any more exhilarated to witness her prove himself wrong. Her pureness, melting away, shifting into this new face he’s rarely encountered, mixed with hints of lust, curiosity, and carnality, right as her eyes dart towards him, just to give him a wink, her simple gestures just keep expanding the girth of his member beyond its limits.

Despite bobbing her head on his manhood up and down with a faster pace, Kotone manages to smear her fingers on her drools and drippings, spreading them down his balls without looking, yet the results would speak for themselves as Myungsoo howls feeling the sudden cold and tingling moisture of his testicles—jiggling and squishing under the palm of her long and thin salivated hand.

“Tone! I’m—shit,” he whimpers, his eyes slowly rolling to the back of his head while the woman devours him with acceleration. “It’s too fucking—Good… Tone-yah—I’m close!”

With a final trick up her sleeve, the woman applies a little pressure on his testicles with her fingers, pulling the trigger to his stimulation. Right as he feels a popping sound on his pulsating rod, followed by a gust of warm semen gushing directly inside her mouth. Much to his surprise, she keeps her mouth closed and gulps it down once she leaves his manhood. As expected, Myungsoo hears Kotone cough out a few drops of seed that she couldn’t swallow, much to his concern while still catching his breath next to her.

He gives the woman a few pats on her back before caressing it. “You alright, babe?”

“Mm-hmm.” Her smirk widens, despite the struggle. “Never tasted something tastier.”

“Let me… Have a taste,” he retorts, leaning closer to Kotone. Unashamed of tasting himself through her mouth. She cups his chin, deepening their already heated kiss.

Letting out a chuckle, Myungsoo distances himself a few inches away while peppering kisses on her thighs, seeking to return his girlfriend the favor, but right before he can kneel on one knee on the carpet, the heaving woman tugs her grip on his right wrist, prompting him to stop and freeze his burning libidinal excitement for a moment.

“Uh, uh, uh…” she giggles with her limited breath, fully aware of his reciprocal intention, yet she moves her index finger from left to right in amusement.

“You don’t want me to?” he mumbles, radiating unease with his submissive tone.

“I do… Just not tonight, baby… You can pay me later,” she whispers and leaves him a wink before slowly pulling him into bed with her. “This time, I want both of us to feel each other on this one, hmm?”

He never minded her tomboyish charms, and now that she’s embodying some traits on his own bed, it’s driving him insane to witness her guide him with entering her regions. As they both sit in front of each other, Kotone wriggles closer with her bottom until she is close enough to wrap her legs around his waist, locking their now closed distance.

“Oh…kay,” Myungsoo holds onto her hips with caution. “I’ll… Put it in now, Tone.”

“That’s it,” the woman peppers his chest and collarbone a few kisses, taking a breath as more of him enters her folds. Sliding as slowly and steadily as he can, Kotone gradually tightens her hold on her lover, welcoming the girth of his lubricated manhood with her walls. “Fuck… Nggghhh…” Leaning her forehead closer on his shoulder, her howls rise while slowly closing her eyes, allowing herself to receive the waves of pleasure he’s giving her with his entry.

Inside Myungsoo's rummaging mind, the man immediately assumes how he may not be the longest she has seen, but it is no small accomplishment for him to hear her moaning without stopping for seconds. Her pitch becomes higher, surprising Myungsoo as he has rarely heard her yell or holler at this sky-shattering range, even whenever she sings with their pals at the noraebang. Her voice already sounds like an angel from day to day, yet this new level gives him a new perspective. A new realm of satisfaction he’s accessing… He can only move his hips inward and outward, yet each pound rewards him with an intensifying sensation that takes him to a higher state of gratifying unconsciousness.

“Tone—Fuck!” He feels his sense of coherence falling apart, his endurance slows down his own member while his thrusts still maintain their balance and strength in her cunt.

On the other hand, she can still keep up with his now dwindling and stuttering thrusts, perhaps with even more stamina than him, while she keeps squirting a few more juices from her bladder while also awaiting the big one on her nether. “Just do it,” she shrieks, feeling her own climax catch her partner’s. “Pleeeease—fucking cum—inside me, baby!”

Myungsoo surrenders to his own climax, busting his load inside her for the first time without restraint. Within the next three seconds, Kotone comes next with all her holler, cumming as well without any sense of worry about his seed inside her womb.

They find themselves plummeting on the bed, with Kotone laying her head on his chest. Myungsoo slowly strokes the side of her hair from its disheveled state, while they heave. He feels an irk of disappointment for giving into his climax too soon, but not discontent. Pulling his cock out of her when it stopped leaking—he muses about reinstating his gym membership or simply pushing himself to jog at a nearby park, like some of his friends. But now’s not the time to wallow in regrets. His impulses pressure him to do it again.

“How was it, baby?” Kotone coos under her breath. Her smirk and cadence still keeps Myungsoo up, in his mind and in his member, even though it has left her walls.

“I'll, uh, I need one more exercise to reassess things,” he admits, making her chuckle at his answer. Another round is in session and now, it starts with him taking the next lead. Gently, Myungsoo takes her by the hand and bends her over while maintaining their eye contact. He leaves her a few more kisses on her nape, initiating a second round with her due to his dissatisfaction about his “performance.”

“Ssaem...” she mutters, the same time they're feeling his cock expand. She's got a wild idea accumulating while receiving his cock again, now from behind. The possibility of his shaft plunging inside her other hole only elevates her expectations and accelerates her drive for his body elevenfold. “I want to... Have you, inside... my fucking—butt!”

“Next time, baby.” It's now his turn to say it, his inflection deepening like hers during their first time. “That'll—ngghh—be another lesson for–us.” His thrusts arise with his groans while Kotone slowly bends her bottom for him to reach. Seeing her butt closer makes him take one hand. A smack would be his first suggestion, yet another idea has taken over, thus forcing him to give her left cheek a squeeze.

The longer she feels a spot of her cheek tightening and heating up under the grasps of his hand, Kotone’s bursts of yelps turn into howls of gratification. “Ooooooh—Fuck!”

The fact that Myungsoo is also entertaining, nay feeding into her fantasy in real time suddenly makes Kotone yelp out subconsciously, even surprising herself and making Myungsoo let out a hoarse chuckle while his thrusts quicken and strengthen with his hand returning to her waist. “That one must have made you excited—did it—baby?”

“Ne!" she complies; his arms still holding hers from behind. “Tight—er—oppa!” Kotone screams. Myungsoo only nods, holding in his chortle as her request compels him to pull her arms closer to him. Her walls constrict around his cock as her back arches, reveling in delight down her nether, which compensates all the stress and tension on her arms— like a rubber band being pulled—as Myungsoo rams her from behind back and forth like a ravenous beast who had been released from his cage, thirsting for this woman’s touch.

The more their bodies pulsate along with their growing moans, his lover’s brown hair keeps on striking his face, like a whip, several times. But instead of finding it to be an unsettling situation, the scent of her hair only drives him to maintain his movement. 

Nevertheless, Kotone feels his hindrance from her back, forcing her to mumble “Take it—off… My tie!” with a heavy breath. Before he can comply, however, his eyes land on her exposed nape, a sight that immediately tempts him to lean in and plant his drooling lips on her. “Uggghhhh!” she yelps as her neck bends, facing the ceiling as she now finds herself on cloud nine. He circles his tongue on her damp skin, briefly imagining what he would’ve done to her cunt if she had given him a chance earlier.

Perhaps next time, he tries to assure himself, unaware that Kotone is also yearning for the same desire in her lust-crazed mind, somewhat regretting her decision to skip to the main show. For now, they happily settle on this moment: his cock plunging in and out of her cunt, with him devouring the back of her neck while she muffles her groans.

“Sooooo… Goood…” she murmurs, taking delight in the sudden lukewarm, if not chilling sensation of Myungsoo’s tongue, slithering on her nape like a snake that tastes the sweat that has accumulated on that spot in the past several minutes. Now that he’s more than satisfied with her praises, the man finally raises one hand and slides the hair tie off her, revealing her full hair to him like a princess. A fervent princess who he’s making love to.

With his manhood now reaching deeper than before, Tone's mouth slowly gapes, with her eyes half closed and tongue sticking out, a sight that propels Myungsoo to lean his head closer and latch his lips, seizing the chance to kiss her once again with insatiable appetite. “Ngggghhhhmm… Mmmmmm…”

Their saliva has become a mix of sweet and salty taste blended through the rhythm of their tongue. Myungsoo can still taste his own seed through their kiss, but Kotone’s drool, mixed in with her passion fruit lipstick, and the scent of her perfume, which always entices him, makes it too hard for him to resist.

Paralyzed by pleasure, Tone’s mouth also welcomes him with abandon while Myungsoo lets go of his arm, wrapping it around her waist once again. With both their moans and grunts muffled, their smacking lips and dancing tongues sync in with the noise of their genitals clashing against each other, yielding both ethereal and devilish satisfaction.

But eventually, her primal instinct overcomes her yearning for his touch, Kotone parts her lips from his, leaving a trail of saliva between the two as she gasps for air and gives him the ultimate signal with the words… “I’m… Oppa—please—I’m—close! Do… it!”

Knowing her reminder to him, Myungsoo lets out a groan with his final pound, bursting his seed inside her for the second time. Now, he manages to make Tone cum at the same time, her tongue still sticking out in ecstasy. Instead of letting her plummet straight into the carpet below, the man maintains his grip around Tone’s waist while she catches her breath alongside him. “Gwen…chana…yo?” he mumbles out of concern, also panting.

The woman slowly holds onto her partner's arms and turns around.  Despite her flushed skin being poured into the puddle by her own sweat, Kotone reassures him with a wide smile, with her hand rubbing on his right cheek. “Never felt better, oppa…”

Still taking a breather, Kotone takes the first step to the bed, pulling Myungsoo with her as they walk and lie on the mattress without any words. Within the silence, their bodies huddled together to keep them warm amidst the prickling breeze of the room’s air con.

“Oppa… It wasn’t just Junghoon,” she confesses to him out of the blue.

He looks down to her. “Huh?” And yet, unlike a while ago, that sense of betrayal has long left his system, replaced by wonderment as they’re both opening up at their will.

“Yooyeon-unnie also told me,” she adds. “About your little serious counseling.”

At this point, they’re now all caught up with their secrets for the whole day. “Jinjja?”

“She knew you’d hesitate, so she kinda gave me a heads-up. It just freaked me a little… And, I also had my own talk with my friends.” She turns her head from him, giggling out of embarrassment before her mind recalls the personal meetings she’s held on that same morning and afternoon. As it turns out, this couple isn’t as different as they once felt and thought they were before this night.

= = =

“Girl… Just go for it!” the tall woman seated in front of Kotone tries to lift her spirits up. “And it’s not like he friendzoned you… Some friends would even do it without feelings.”

“I don’t know unnie…” She scratches her hair. “I’m not even sure why you’re so pumped up to help me. You’re practically my boss. I mean, you’re the boss of your own team, but still… You’re Zhou-freaking-Xinyu!”

“Okay,” she raises her finger. “First of all, I’m not your boss, technically speaking, even though there’s no work today… And second—we’re old friends! Just chatting about our personal problems and thinking of solutions out of it. So I’m not Zhou Xinyu, let alone Felicia Zhou.” She follows with a sigh. “I’m just your Xinyu-unnie, hmm?”

“Well, unnie… How did you and, you know…” Kotone tilts her head. “How’d you two work things out? With your history and all, you've made the impossible–Possible...”

“We just did…” she shrugs, forming a smile that radiates warmth. “We owned up to our mistakes, embraced our faults without trying to change what we like about ourselves… The more we realized that, well, we knew that we just wanted each other even more. Besides, it’s not like your situation is that different. You and Myungsoo are literally living a friends-to-lover tale!”

A part of Kotone needed to hear those words. Those voices of insecurity and reservation whispering in her brain begin to wither, at least most of it. She couldn’t be any happier for Xinyu being in a relationship of her own, but Kotone can’t help but admit that her circumstances are not really the same as hers, in a thousand ways.

“You don’t have to overthink it, Tone-chan,” Xinyu places her hand on her left shoulder, sensing the echoes of her misgivings through her posture, somber eyes, and downward lips. “Look… I may not be the best woman to ask about relationships… but I’d say that you can learn a lot when you just let some things go with the flow.”

Nevertheless, the older woman’s words manage to ease the part of her self-worth. Prior to her current profession here, Xinyu had her own fair share of trials and tribulations.

“That’s… Not a bad thought… Huh,” Kotone realizes, but something is still irking her. “Thank you for that, unnie.”

As the words of her old friend weren’t enough, she also confided in another’s second opinion about later that afternoon. Contrasting the cafeteria of ModHaus, this friend’s apartment is a little smaller, yet arguably the more confined atmosphere and tangerine walls of the living room makes it a little cozier. Kotone is seated on one of the chairs in the dining table, allowing her friend to listen to her from the vegetable-filled counter.

“That fear. That hesitation... How did you two get past those feelings, Suhyeon-ah?”

The right corner of Suhyeon’s lips raises. “Are you asking me for more details or?”

“Oh, God…” Kotone’s mind quickly went places due to her friend’s reaction, her hands waving rapidly. “No, no! Not like that, Suhyeon-ie… I mean, Xinyu-unnie herself gave TMI when I asked for her advice, but, I’m just asking how you and Sungwoo-ssi have managed to move past your doubts. Before, you know, it happened.”

“Well… I’m not sure about Sungwoo, but for me, it just felt right that we did it—that we wanted to do it, you know—regardless of how different our lives are. I’ll always love my son and be there for him—but that doesn’t mean I can’t start over with someone else…”

With a closed smile, Suhyeon looks down on her damp hands, a few crumbs of carrots and cabbage scattered across her palms and fingertips. Even in silence, Tone senses the aura of passion and perseverance emanating from her. “Dongwon’s father left before he was born—but you and the gang, heck even my fam, reminded me that I have a life too.”

She looks at Kotone—her eyes glowing with hope. “Like you and Myungsoo-oppa… You may have been friends for a long time, but the two of you being together is a new thing that I’m sure will be scary and exciting and like when it was with Sungwoo and me, I’d rather face those things than to never be with him at all, you know?”

From her profound words, she knows it’s simple, but her own hesitation still creeps up to her, something that she tries to shake off. Kotone’s heart begins to feel warmer with appreciation, gratitude towards her close friend—both of her friends, to be exact. This hesitation is something she’s going to have to deal with herself, by facing it head-on.

“How about you, Tone-chan? I’m not asking you if you’re willing to go to the next level with oppa… but how does he make you feel? I’m sure you’ll find your answer yourself.”

Her heart starts to race. Just at the thought of her lover, as they are in each other’s arms. Their lips locking for minutes—savoring each other’s taste as their saliva exchanges and filling the silence of the air with their tongues smacking. His rough yet irresistible skin sliding with her soft skin the longer they stay on the couch. Even the times he’s tickled her almost makes her giggle. The possibility of him carrying her to his bedroom. Tone’s imagination alone makes her swallow her own throat—thirsting for this sensation, and combined with having Ji Suhyeon witness her reaction only makes her embarrassed.

A smirk forms on Suhyeon’s face. She knows. “That’s it… You better have fun, you two.”

Kotone’s throat still feels dry as her heartbeat grows louder. “May I get a glass of water?”

“Help yourself, Tone,” Suhyeon tells her from the kitchen, continuing dicing a whole onion on the counter with her smile still intact. Beside her, the steam on the pot begins to rise. Kotone walks to the cupboard, reaching the nearest glass and maintains her gaze on the water dispenser. “Something tells me that you’re gonna need more of it later.”

= = =

Listening to Tone’s counsels, Myungsoo also agrees with their sentiments. This moment feels right. That’s enough. She’s enough. She’s perfect, even if she doesn’t believe she is. He shakes his head, as relief, disbelief, and gratitude fills his mind.

“Oh… Well, I’m still sorry…” he huffs—pushing himself to complete his sentence in front of her. “I’m sorry I misread you, Tone-chan. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you enough.”

“No,” she counters with her own guilt. “I’m sorry for freaking out over nothing, oppa.”

He pulls him into his arms. She’s always loved this move from him. “Hey, hey… It wasn’t necessarily over nothing, Tone… Look where that’s gotten us now… When I’ve chickened out of following what my body desires, you’ve taken the lead first, like you always have.”

“Yah…” she giggles at his wholehearted confession, even though it’s making her heart beat a little louder than usual. “You’re complimenting me like I’m your student.”

“That wasn’t my intention,” he admits, almost embarrassed. “Must be a force of habit.”

She nuzzles on his chest, her giggles vibrating on the surface of his chest. “Cheer up. It’s not something I’m against… Since, you should know I also have a lot to learn from you,” she retorts to him, forming a provocative smirk. “—Kim Ssaem.”

“So do… I…” he takes a much deeper breath, keeping himself from giggling at her tease. “Right now, I’ve learned a lot tonight.”

“Hmm?” her eyebrow raised while she hums with lustful intrigue. “Like what?”

“Just now… he puffs. “You've given me an experience I never expected—in a long while.”

“You’re being overdramatic,” she shakes her head, giggling. “You know I can do better.”

“You’ve already rocked my world,” he chuckles. He’s already confessed that he hasn’t had sex in a long time, yet she couldn’t care less. “Whatever you’ll do, whatever we do, I’ll love and cherish it. Whatever we’ll explore—I’ll explore it with you… Because I love you, Kamimoto Kotone.”

Within a second, Kotone’s face of amusement and flirtatiousness simmers down with her smile slowly crumbling. Yet her heart couldn’t feel any more elevated. “O--ppa…”

“Why are you crying?” Worry begins to flow through his veins as he sees her eyes glisten and her voice trembles and stutters. “Tone-chan…”

“You said it… first,” she mutters, while holding the sniffle through her nose. In spite of her mix of emotions, the woman’s lips slowly recurve upwards. “Myungsoo–op—pa…”

He puts his hand on her cheek, placing his thumb where her tears are falling down. “With how long we've known each… I feel like I should've told you sooner.”

“Me too… I love you, Kim Myungsoo,” she continued to sniff with her bawling, albeit now with a sweeter smile. Following only his heartbeat, Myungsoo comforts Tone with a long, sweet tender kiss on her lips, thus allowing her to express herself through her tears of gratitude and warm reciprocation with her beloved.

Wrapped under the gray comforter, the two would still remain in each other’s arms, rubbing their noses side to side and humming amidst the blissful silence for the next several minutes next to the dim lamp on the nightstand until a certain memory flashes back to Kotone just as her tears subside. She noticed those two omamori, the ones she gave him, on his drawer right next to the bedroom door. The sight of those two items trigger another memory she can’t help but share with him at this moment.

“Oppa…” she tugs on his shoulder softly. “I, uhh, just remembered something…”

“Hmm?” his eyes moved down to her face, still sparkling as usual. “What is it, babe?”

“Your birthday’s in two weeks… Isn't it?”

“Oh…” He attempts to keep his own smile from being too obvious. Not even he himself remembers such a momentous personal detail. “You remember?” But she does. Right during the aftermath of their first time, he braces his body from reacting to his mind from conceiving certain carnal ideas, now that the chains of his platonic hindrances have been broken through this passionate night.

“How could I not?” She peppers kisses on his chest, although she keeps the very trigger that made her remember. “I know that ruins any possible surprise—”

“I don’t need surprises, Tone-chan,” he assures her, evoking humility and contentment around her presence despite feeling the appropriate response of his own member, right under their blanket. “Tonight might as well be the greatest gift I’ve had.”

“Yah… Is it because we did it?” she coos, flustered by his sentiment. Despite harboring some ideas for him on his special day, Kotone brushes them off and only feels at ease.

“That’s one factor,” he simply affirms, grinning to the teeth. “I’m still… Sorting out the rest, but they’re all because of you, beautiful.”

She giggles at his bold remark. “So… Do you mind if I stay for the night?” she asks with a much coyer tone, concealing hints of shyness as she anticipates his response.

“Is that even a question?” he scoffs, but a sigh of uncertainty leaves his breath, not much about her, but himself. “I was—umm—I was actually hoping you’d stay… A little longer.”

“Well… You got it, oppa,” Kotone finally affirms to her boyfriend, holding her sniffs for a moment. Wiggling upwards like a worm, the woman levels her gaze with Myungsoo on the same pillow as his, closing their distance as her lips touch his once more, relishing the mix of saltiness and sweetness which their hearts and bodies have been craving the whole night. But, just as their prolonged kiss would have once again progressed into an uninhibited makeout session, both parties would slowly feel a slow rumbling on the woman’s stomach.

Kotone herself becomes startled by her body’s warning. As their lips part with a short trail of saliva that quickly breaks, both are unable to conceal their laughter at her own bodily warning. “That was, uh, embarrassing,” Kotone shakes her head. “I just realized that we did it on an empty stomach… Mianhae.”

“It’s not that embarrassing, babe…” he reassures her with two pecks, one to her nose and another on her forehead. “I’m kinda hungry too now that your tummy has brought it up, so how about we order dinner? It’s your pick… And it’ll be my treat for tonight.”

“How about some galbi?” she suggests, the trembles on her voice and sniffles subsiding.

“You want a side of samgyupsal with that one, too?” he suggests. “I'm kinda in the mood for a heavier meal.”

“Kol!” she quickly raises her hand in the air, giving him a thumbs up. “We'll just burn those calories at a later time, won't we?”

“Tone-chan!” His eyes widen as he bursts into laughter alongside her. “You perverted red panda! Aigoo… I ought to do something with you.”

“We’ve got the rest of the night, oppa,” she snickers, playing along with his proposition while giving his moist stomach four playful pats. “No need to worry about it.”

“Worry about what?”

Despite him still being a little slow in processing her remark, the woman looks up, sliding her legs on the mattress to inch herself centimeters closer to him. Her warm breath brushes in front of him, directly sending her pheromones. “Doing something with me… To me.”

Realizing what she means, Myungsoo chuckles, slowly placing his thumb on Kotone’s lower lip and whispering “I feel the same way, love,” right as they seal their love with another, sweeter smooch.

= = =

it's not as fleshed out as I wanted it to be, but I still hope you liked it. while I struggle to complete some of my current wips, I might start dropping another series, one that's not yet on my masterlist, but one that's been stuck on my drafts since forever. it'll be a little more fluff and angst at first since it's a longer series, but I hope you stay tuned for it. but for now, I hope you're having a great day! until next time.

[bullet-prooflove]

Charge Sheet: Frank Castle x Reader

Tagging: @kmc1989 @lamaudite @a-noni-love @oh-no-thank-u @pleasurebuttonwrites

Companion piece to:

The Day We Met - Frank reflects on the path the relationship has taken.

Slow - You and Frank share a moment in the aftermath of your attack.

Angel (NSFW) - Frank has always called you his angel.

Rough (NSFW) - Sometimes you need it a little rough from Frank.

My Girl - Frank gets pissed when he sees you're injured.

Saint Michael - Frank returns a precious gift.

Black Ice Series:

Part One: Black Ice - Frank rushes home after hearing you've been in a car accident.

Part Two: Ice Pack (NSFW) - Frank loves you for the first time in months.

Part Three: Check In - You don't respond well to Frank checking in.

Daybreak - Frank finds it hard to let go of old habits.

Frank has a problem, it comes in the form of 5’4 Homicide Detective that’s just locked his ass up in the drunk tank because he was ‘interfering’ in her investigation. The thing is you warned him about this shit, about chasing your leads, scaring your C.I’s and Frank, he didn’t listen because he’s a stubborn asshole. When he sinks his teeth into something, he’s a dog with a bone, he doesn’t let go and neither do you.

He rubs his palm across his smarting cheek, the one with the gravel still embedded in it. You’re a vengeful little thing when your pissed off, his spine can attest to that from the knee you planted in his back before you cuffed him.

Nobody gets the drop on The Punisher, no one except for his scrappy little cop from Queens. He both loves it and hates it.

“What are you writing on the charge sheet?” He calls from behind the bars of his cell as you fill out his details on a clipboard because the system is down for the third time this month.

“Unrepentant asshole.” You respond and he has to give you that.

“We really gonna do this Neve?” He mutters, grasping the bars between his hands and giving them a light shake, testing their durability.

“Sergeant Rains.” You correct him, focused on the paperwork in front of you. “You lost first name privileges when you started fucking around in my crime scene.”

He pulls on the bars even harder, rattling them to get your attention. You tilt your head towards him and he can see that fire burning in your eyes, the one he fell in love with.

“Keep testing me Castle and I’ll put you with the Saint Paddy’s day assholes, the ones that are spewing green beer and God knows what else.”

As if on cue the sound of heaving erupts from the opposite cell, followed by the spatter of vomit on concrete. Frank backs away from the bars and sits on the edge of his bunk, his gaze still fixed on you.

“Good boy.” You murmur, the edges of your mouth tipping up into a smile as you return to the charge forms and Frank bites his bottom lip so hard he tastes blood because it this situation, it shouldn’t turn him on as much as it does.

“You gonna at least show me the crime scene report?” He asks, watching you sign the documentation before you set it on the Duty Sergeant’s desk for his return.

“That depends.” You tell him as you approach his cell and he raises to his feet to meet you at the bars.

“On what?” He murmurs as you stand within reaching distance. His fingers hook the belt loop of your jeans, drawing you into his proximity so that the only thing keeping you apart is the bars.

“On how apologetic you are when you climb through my window tomorrow morning.” You inform him and he tilts his head, giving you that FFS expression of his.

“You’re really gonna leave me here?” He riles, running a hand through his dark hair in exasperation. “I could be out on the streets helping you-”

“I was doing this job long before you Frank, I’ll be doing the job long after too.”

Those words, they fucking eviscerate him. You know it too from the savage expression on your face as you pull away, his fingers slipping from the belt loop. That’s another thing that’s on him, he’s made it clear to you that his presence in your life is temporary, that you shouldn’t expect a damn thing from him.

“Good luck tonight Castle.” You say with a two fingered salute as the guy in the cell across from him tosses his cookies again. “You’re gonna need it.”

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[formerlympp]

Unhappy Hour

Lily was starting to detest happy hours.

Inaptly named things they were, she’d privately started calling them misery hours. She’d have to make it her New Year’s resolution to grow a backbone and start declining the invitations. That, or stop drinking, which might be easier than saying no to kindly Muriel, her generally reserved coworker who turned into a sailor after a couple of G&Ts. After all, her inability to say no to Muriel was precisely what landed her in her current predicament.

“Why don’t you just beg off?” Mary, her roommate, called from the corner of their cramped kitchen. Lily had long thought that her backbone had been imparted to Mary, who had no qualms about shutting people down over the slightest menial transgression.

“Can’t,” Lily called back, the best she could manage without toothpaste slipping down her chin.

“Can’t or won’t? No, don’t bother answering that.” A threatening pause came next, quickly followed by the crinkling sound of paper that Lily knew meant Mary was stuffing a sweet into her mouth. “Oo’ zit, gin?”

“Muriel’s sister-in-law’s cousin’s best friend’s son. Jeff something-or-other.”

“’O no-un.”

“He’s someone surely.”

“No one to you,” Mary clarified in a slightly less muffled voice. “He’s probably no keener to meet than you are.”

“Well thanks for the vote of confidence, Mare.”

Mary appeared in the doorway just as Lily slipped her toothbrush back in its holder. The pair of friends caught each other’s eye in the mirror as Lily started unpinning the rollers from her hair.

“C’mon, since when does anyone look forward to a blind date? Speaking of, you’ve put in a fair bit of effort for this Muriel’s… sister’s… er… whoever’s son. More effort than I’d expect for someone apparently dreading her evening.”

Lily merely shrugged as a reply, uninterested in justifying her pre-date ritual. It was a good ritual, and besides, she deserved to feel like the best version of herself whenever she wanted to.

“Shit,” she exhaled, after catching a look at her watch, “I’m going to be late.”

**

Shockingly, Lily arrived at The Shack, a hip, low-lit bar—“frequented by the young people,” Muriel had told her—ten minutes earlier than the agreed-upon time. She couldn’t stop herself from studying her reflection in the dark glass windows; she brushed her fingers through the mess of curls her hair had become in transit. Breathing deeply and squaring her shoulders, she pushed her way into the bar.

Clusters of people stood every few feet, making the pathway between the tables and chairs into a labyrinth. She wove her way through, an odd determination in her step that clashed with her internal desire to walk right back out the front door. She was supposed to meet Jeff at the bar for drinks and starters and hopefully riveting conversation (Lily wasn’t holding her breath). The semi-circle bartop stretched along a large expanse of the room, barely inhabited at this time of a Friday evening, and Lily couldn’t help herself from admiring the rather nice-looking man tending the bar at the far end.

Eventually, she rounded the bar in search of Jeff, who had been described to her as: tall and handsome. (She didn’t mind a cliché now and again.) Scholarly, and a sharp dresser, if not a bit disheveled. (Whatever that meant.) Dark hair and framed glasses. (She did not mind a nice set of specs to be sure.)

Then she spotted him, sitting across from a stretch of beer taps, shoulders bowed slightly as he studied his phone. As Lily drew closer she watched him press his glasses back up his nose. Even from the admittedly shrinking distance, she could tell he would give the bartender a run for his money. For a moment, a brief, unrelenting irrational moment, excitement flooded her system; it burned in her veins, sent bubbles straight to the logical part of her brain, then—

“Hi, you must be J—” A set of hazel eyes locked with hers and her jaw dipped lower, all the buzz of excitement leaving her. “You’re not…” Jeff.

Oh no.

Oh—but, wait had it been Jeff? Maybe she had heard the wrong name—

“Oh Christ, you are the Lily that Auntie Mabel… I had no idea, Evans, I assure you.”

Of that she was fairly certain he was telling the truth. He was many things, but a liar was not among them. Besides, only an evil force in the universe could explain why out of the billions of people on this planet, Lily had been set up on a blind date with her ex-boyfriend, James Potter.

[ateez-himari]

[240927] LOVE & LUST

...

Oh please stop looking at me like that You put me on the spot, wait, wait

CW: Very suggestive contents ahead so MDNI!

The sound of running water crashing against marble tiles echoing across the dimly lit bathroom made the rhythmic scrubbing of the young woman's toothbrush fade into nothing more than background noise, the two lovers simply basking in one another's close proximity. Sleep hazed eyes absent mindedly drifted towards her boyfriend's toned form reflected in the mirror, though the shower's fogged glass allowed nothing more than his blurred figure washing soap off of soft skin to be admired.

"I can feel you staring, angel." Mingi chuckled, knowing her much too well. "It's nothing you haven't seen before...you can take your eyes off me for a second, no ?"

The bold teasing remark sent a burning blush to her cheeks, gaze rapidly flickering down onto the white sink below as she spat out the mint flavored substance, the lack of a hearing aid making the sliding door's opening go by unnoticed. Without much auditory warning wet hands slowly slid around her waist and soon enough one of them strayed from the set path in order to grasp her chin, tilting it up towards the mirror so that their eyes could meet while his thumb wiped away leftover toothpaste.

"Now you can look at me..." He rasped in her ear. "Enjoying the view ?"

Water beads rolled down their matching silver chain adorning the rapper's neck, damp black hair framing an almost starved gaze as his glistening bare chest pressed against the startled vocalist's back, the airbnb provided towel hanging low on his pelvis not leaving much to her imagination. Warmth spread throughout his girlfriend's scantily clad body as thin manicured fingers made their way onto muscular forearms, and within moments soft lips brushed against his neck to trail lustful kisses.

"I'm enjoying much more than the view." She whispered, leaning back against him to sink into their embrace. "It's a good thing it's just us in this house..."

Those words served as enough consent and in one fluid motion his palm wrapped around the young woman's neck, the careful yet firm grasp letting him turn her body around before setting her on the wooden countertop in one fluid motion. The much too wide distance between their bodies was closed by the man's mouth finding her own with an almost feverish sense of desire, their lips moving against one another desperately as she found support against his strong chest.

"How can an innocent thing like you drive me so crazy." He mumbled when they parted briefly. "You're deadly, angel."

His large hand slowly slid the borrowed shirt along the vocalist's body as she giggled only to stop abruptly when catching sight of the undergarments that had been chosen for the night, his rapper tag carefully drawn across the lacey material bringing a smirk to his lips. Having the slightest idea regarding the lingerie covering her upper body, the rapper carefully wedged the white fabric between his girlfriend's lips and let out an involuntary groan while taking in what was separating hungry touches from her skin - his own handprints marking black material right over her chest.

"What can I say, being yours looks good on me~" She teased.

The maknae's dangerously sweet doe eyes flickered up to the man already struggling to keep this sensually slow pace, and the gentle tug at his chain seemed to finally make whatever restraint was there snap for good. Large hands wrapped her soft legs around his barely covered hips without daring to part from their heated kiss for a moment, neither of their lust clouded minds registering the soft mattress now pressing against Himari's back.

"Mingi-" She needily whimpered, fingers trailing down to discard his towel only to be stopped by his own.

"I know angel, but I want to take my time with you tonight...need to feel every inch of you. Be patient for me, okay~"

...............

Streaks of silver moonlight filtered through partially opened blinds, illuminating the couple wrapped in one another's embrace as the vocalist traced the outline of her boyfriend's nose before moving down to his full lips. The man mesmerized by these sweet ministrations absentmindedly ran the hand not serving as a makeshift pillow across her naked waist, the warmth between their bodies only adding to the moment's silent yet loving intimacy.

"Will you marry me one day, my angel ?" Mingi finally asked, loud enough to catch her clearly divided attention.

"I'd be willing to marry you right now in this bed." She hummed in response, dropping her arm down to his chest. "My answer will always be yes to an eternity with you."

The tears brimming the rapper's eyes nearly fell when seeing the cute feline smile adorning her lips, his mouth immediately latching on to her shoulder to pepper tender kisses onto her body, filling the room with soft giggles and squeals. The love between the two artists took many forms, lust, melodies, lingering gazes, but it always held the same meaning; destiny.

[dragon-susceptible]

The Assassins: Headcanon Post

A collection of my guiding headcanons for the Different Path Taken AU, as requested by @flaming-thing!

Andromeda

had so much trouble picking which to do first so it's alphabetical.

Andromeda is 26 in Moonrise, when she dies in canon. She was already married at 19, when she's seen in Bloodmoon Huntress; her husband was part of her Pride of Mooncubs when she was a kid. (Mooncub Prides are small groups of children from various families that grow up together, and most adults in the village are on a rotation to look after them. Assassins are often excused due to their outside the village responsibilities, though if an assassin is also a parent they are expected to assist with their child's pride, and they can opt in if they wish to. Prides are usually very tight-knit, though the relationships can develop into either friendships, as with Runaan and Lain and Tiadrin, or romantic partnerships as is the case with Tiadrin and Lain or Andromeda and her husband). Andromeda is on rotation because she and her husband definitely do want kids; part of why she was extra bitter with Rayla's betrayal was knowing she'd never get the chance to have them, and her husband would be left without anyone to remember her with.

She was really close to Rayla after Rayla started training with them, though, and was the primary female role model Rayla had growing up after Tiadrin left. Moonshadow society is fairly egalitarian, and Runaan was well-educated in the more physical aspects by growing up with Tiadrin, but it did help on occasion. She was the one Rayla confided in when she needed an adult but not a REAL adult like her dads, and she still has that softness at her core for Rayla. She has one of the softer hearts and minds of the assassins, in particular a soft spot for children, and once convinced to help save the egg, will defend Ezran in particular with her life.

Andromeda is largely guided by seeking truth, as reflected in her oath. She loathes dishonesty and this is part of why she struggles with moon magic, as she struggles with the perception of reality and illusion. It was Rayla's lie that hurt her more than the mistake, but Rayla insisting on giving them all the truth went a long way to restoring her trust.

Callisto

Callisto is getting up in years for an assassin at 28, and though they've not quite matched Skor or Runaan yet, Runaan often says he expects them to outlive his record. They're an extremely practical, cool-headed individual, who tends to keep their distance from the majority of the village to keep that cold practicality.

The thing is they require that distance or they warm up too much, and won't be able to think objectively anymore. Their parents were both assassins and they were raised by the families of their Mooncub pride after both were killed when they were young. That's why they shave their hair off, to discourage physical evidence of anyone's intimacy with them.

They're one of the more accomplished healers in the assassins' guild, and those talents are part of what led to their survival for this long. They have a strong emotional bond with the other assassins and will do nearly anything outside of compromising their missions to keep them safe and alive. They're one of Runaan's closest friends since Tiadrin and Lain's leaving, and they consider him a role model and mentor figure who has become their peer. They will argue with him readily, but they respect him enough that if he puts his foot down after hearing them out, they will obey him even if they disagree.

Callisto is also somewhat fluid with their gender. They run a spectrum between masculine and nonbinary and will answer to either "they" or "he" regardless. Runaan is remarkably good at picking up which one they actually feel in the moment, but the only one they've never caught getting it wrong is Skor. They don't really care when people do miss, as they don't expect people to read their mind, but it startles them that Skor always seems to get it right.

Ram

Ram's mother passed away from an illness when he was 18, leaving him and his father alone. By that time, Ram was finishing his assassin training and both his parents were very proud of the path he had taken. He takes an interest in his father's role in the village and supplements the Keeper's knowledge with knowledge from the assassin histories kept by the Master of Blades. (The information isn't kept a secret, but many Moonshadow elves lowkey believe that the assassin histories are largely superstition, when they are in fact some of the most accurate and complete histories in elven society)

Ram is also quite close with Rayla, being the youngest assassin alongside her, and having started training with Runaan only after she did (previously he was in a training troupe with another prominent assassin). He's terrifyingly perceptive but has a strong sense of eye-for-an-eye justice, and was the most reluctant to call off the mission to save the egg. He, like his father, has a hot temper and fights with Rayla the most of all of the assassins, but he also forgives the quickest of any of them. He isn't impressed by Callisto's sense of humor.

Skor

Skor is the oldest assassin in the Silvergrove next to Runaan, and is coming up on being the second to break the record set by Runaan's mother at the age of 33 (Runaan has already broken it at 35). He's known for being quiet and down-to-earth, having a strong connection to the darker parts of the moon's magic. He relies more on his physical strength than his magic despite this, because poor grasp of the darker aspects of their particular arcanum is known to drive elves mad very, very quickly.

He's highly driven by honor and considers the boys' quest to return the egg to be an honorable one, provided they have the conviction to go through with it. His biggest problem with Runaan is that he does not believe Runaan is being honest with the group about his bond with Rayla. He has no objection to Runaan being a father, he just wants the man to take some damn responsibility for it. He responds to Rayla even when furious with her because he considers it dishonorable to ignore a request for help, even if the answer is a refusal.

He's a quiet soul who often fades into the background, but it allows him to learn things about everyone that others seem to miss. It's what allowed him to get closer to Callisto than most. It was Callisto that put the braid in his undercut, in a gesture of silent affection that neither of them have spoken about, to each other or anyone else.

When Skor does speak, he does so only after consideration, with every word chosen with as much precision as his swords. He's terrifyingly perceptive and his words can cut deep or warm the very soul depending on his goal, because he does not speak without meaning. He's probably autistic. He's the second best at field medicine after Callisto, and his voice is extremely rough due to trauma to the throat on a mission in his teens. He's since then been very, very deliberate about his movements. He's never bothered mentioning that the rasp in his voice causes him pain to anyone, though he's sure Callisto knows.

[gayshitfuckers]

HELLO I JUST GOT THE QUARRY AND I HAVE MANY OPINIONS AND YES MOST OF THEM ARE ABOUT THE ABSOLUTELY SHOULD HAVE BEEN EMMA X ABI (don't get me wrong, their friendship is SO cute and them being canonical besties is still very precious, I just noticed something i think is worth mentioning)

(spoiler warning? Idk if its necessary cause it's been out for a lil while but if you're dumb like me and my brother and have only just got/played it then be warned)

So, as we are all aware, Nick gets infected like Chapter? 3? 4? Whatever it is... and proceeds to act Very Very Weird towards Abi, very grabby and sort of demanding her attention while also insulting her. But pretty much the very last thing he does is grab her and try to pull her into him before yknow ~flinging her~. All very uncomfortable, but remember the last thing he does in Wolf Delerium™️ before going full munch is pretty much force her to be right next to him when he's about to turn. And sure he wasn't aware of what he was doing but the game gives the impression that whoever's bitten kind of knows that nothing good is about to happen and that their personalities/insecurities are reflected in their changes.

I mean come ON that is such a fuckin predator-ass pose (sorry Nick I swear I don't hate him that much it's just this part makes it DIFFICULT to love him)

Now, I would like to compare that with this little tidbit I noticed in my run. Later in I think Chapter 8, Abi and Emma are in the storm shelter together with Emma infected (my bad babes, fucked up your QTE for you). The convo ain't pretty, although it's certainly not the levels of uncomfortable with Nick. But then! THEN! Something very interesting happens. Despite being angry and having just verbally lashed out at Abi, Emma? Staggers away?? From what I could tell she was quite literally seconds away from turning and just stops speaking before abruptly putting some distance between herself and Abi. And at this point honestly Emma knew about as much as Nick (maybe a bit more cause she's been told the basics but she hasn't actually seen a transformation, all her info is whatever Kaitlyn very quickly conveyed to Emma). All that's happened to her up to is she's had a couple run ins with werewolves and hidden in the van.

This is all a very longass way of saying I can't get it out of my head that Emma realised what was happening (or at least had figured out she was some sort of danger to Abj) and was trying to PROTECT her. When Nick was this far along, he was saying vaguely cannibalistic sentiments to Abi so I'm presuming atp Emma's having similar munchy thoughts, but instead of acting on them like Nick did she's putting distance between her and Abi. She's mere moments away from turning and somehow fights her instincts off long enough to keep Abi just a little bit safer from her. Kinda further emphasised by the fact that she very softly says 'Abi' before moving away from her in a kinda panicked way.

(Found the exact thing below so you can see what I mean, but I think she goes a bit further before physically collapsing)

I also think this is one of the only cases I know of where someone infected like actively moves away from their friends? Dylan comes the closest by telling Kaitlyn she has to get away (also hard to judge cause man's in stuck in a crane so I'll give him half credit on that one). But as far as I know Emma's the only one who in pretty much her final moments physically goes against the curse enough to try and get away.

ALSO VERY INTERESTINGLY, even after she turns, she takes...a very long time to get to Abi. You can hear the sound of her fully turning as Abi goes to the ladder. I'm gonna say tops this is like? 15 metres away? It's close enough that a human could close it in a few seconds, the werewolves can basically jump that distance in a second - if that. But it takes her (and yes I timed it) all of twenty seconds to actually reach Abi and drag her off the ladder. Abi has time to get halfway up, fall off, get BACK up and only after failing a mash QTE will Emma get her. And we KNOW Emma knew where she was cause she does look at Abi just before she runs to get away. Even giving a suitable amount of time for confusion, other werewolves haven't taken more than a few seconds before running off to do something - hell even giving her 10s (which is WAY more than any other werewolf in the game takes to get into action) she's still standing there doing nothing for another 10s.

Am I suggesting that Emma loves Abi so much she fought the urge to hunt her down long enough to give her 2 chances to escape? And that she tried to further that chance by moving just that little bit away from Abi before turning? Yes. Yes I wholeheartedly am.

Obviously this is just my interpretation of that event but!!! I maintain the evidence is there. But even if you don't perceive it as potentially romantic, it still serves well to show the depth of their friendship. At the very least it shows that at her heart, Emma cares more about Abi than Nick as they both lash out at Abi in a similar manner but Emma pulls herself together long enough to give Abi a better chance.

[cross-my-heartt]

Nitpicking episode four (affectionately so)

I know this may be controversial but sometimes we nitpick things out of love and that is very much the case for me here.

I love so much about episode four and much of it has already been talked about but I would still tweak some things to make it perfect because I'm an incorrigible Crosshair girlie and I'll both dissect and cherish every moment he's in the limelight while it still lasts.

Anyway without further ado

1.) Crosshair's recklessness. I love me a trigger happy sniper but my man would never come so close to decking that imperial officer.

By all means that should have been Omega. Crosshair's motto has always been playing it safe (the thematic manifestation of dispatching danger from a safe distance). The point of him staying with the Empire is that despite the drawbacks and the Empire's moral corruption, they would have been 'safer' there.

Crosshair is willing to tolerate a lot if it's in the name of safety and the only times he's downright reckless is when he's pushed to the brink (killing Nolan, escaping Tantiss). Omega on the other hand has already shown that she has a lower tolerance for injustice. Her standing up to Hemlock earlier in the season was a reminder of that and it would have been more consistent to make her the one nearly provoked into a confrontation here.

So I would have had him holding her back here seeing as assessing danger and realizing the benefit of laying low is something Crosshair should be better at between the two of them.

2.) Huge missed opportunity to make Crosshair and Omega cooperate during the gambling scene. It was fun to see them bump heads but I would have loved to see more of them cooperating in creative ways, like Crosshair using reflections to see the officer's hand and helping Omega cheat the game.

Otherwise I would have made it a game of Dejarik. Because we have context for her being good at that while we haven't seen her play much sabacc so far. It's kind of like saying that if you're good at chess you're automatically good at poker.

3.) This could just be me but that moment where it seemed like Crosshair was about to let Omega go after Batcher alone felt off for his character. Crosshair lives to fight for a cause and I'm pretty sure it's been established that Omega is that cause now.

The best explanation I can think of is that he was bluffing and I can completely see him doing that in an attempt to change her mind. If it were me I would have made it look more like a dropped bluff and less like a 'this could have gone either way situation'.

4.) Would have loved to see them resolve the escape situation a bit more creatively too. I'm not a fan of the all the creature moments (don't love them in the new Vader run either) and a cute little team up between these two, combining their shooting abilities and using stealth and the terrain in their favor would have been cool to see. And just imagine Crosshair caving in at the very end, agreeing to let the animals go anyway after Omega has puppy eyed him into doing it.

Ten out of ten would have lived for that.

5.) The tremor. Where is it?? Why aren't we seeing more of it??? This really should be a bigger deal, I really need it to be a bigger deal. Yes, we see him miss a lot of shots but I need more.

6.) Reunion. This is the hardest for me to criticize because it does make for some great drama and a great cliffhanger but I'm more for putting character before entertainment.

The only way I see them making dagger eyes at someone they were ride or die determined to rescue not too long ago is if they still suspect Crosshair of setting up some kind of trap. Which is a bit of a reach this far into the plot.

Character wise it just isn't a logical decision for me.

But yeah, I suppose it all depends on where they take this scene from here. Let me know what you think.

[reinathevocaloid]

An Akeshu/Shuake Playlist!

After a million years, I have finally made a playlist for this ship! Let me know what y'all think.

Blame It On The Kids by AViVA

Say their names, we won't forget This is not your fight, not your fight You played games, but we can forgive Put down the knife, put down the knife

Break My Heart by Dua Lipa

Center of attention You know you can get whatever you want from me Whenever you want it, baby It's you in my reflection Now I'm afraid of all the things you could do to me

Do I Wanna Know? by Arctic Monkeys

(Do I wanna know?) If this feeling flows both ways? (Sad to see you go) Was sort of hoping that you'd stay (Baby, we both know) That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can't say tomorrow day

The Beach by The Neighborhood

If I told you that I loved you Tell me, what would you say? If I told you that I hated you Would you go away? Now I need your help with everything that I do I don't want to lie, I've been relying on you

Born to Die by Lana Del Rey

Feet don't fail me now Take me to the finish line Oh, my heart it breaks every step that I take But I'm hoping that the gates, they'll tell me that you're mine Walking through the city streets Is it by mistake or design? I feel so alone on the Friday nights Can you make it feel like home if I tell you you're mine?

Cells by The Servant

The sun goes up and the sun goes down I drag myself into the town All I do I want to do with you Everyday I'm at my desk At my desk, I'm like the rest All I do I want to do with you

Lower One's Eyes (English Cover) by Trickle

Cutting out this doubt, I see now Clear and free, let loose what's killing me Lower your eyes, my love and spite look quite alike

Far Too Young To Die by Panic At The Disco

Well, I never really thought that you'd come tonight While the crown hangs heavy on either side Give me one last kiss while we're far too young to die

Tomorrow by Daughter

By tomorrow I'll be left in the darkness Amongst your cold sheets And your shoes will be gone And your body warmth no longer beside me So don't bring tomorrow 'Cause I already know I'll lose you

Pigeon by Cavetown

Didn't give me time to say goodbye in the way that I wanted to So honey, close your eyes and stay like you're supposed to do Don't know how I'm gonna live without, but I'll stay strong for you

Walk Alone by PVRIS

Do we have bad blood? Do you feel the burn from my touch? Darling, I Always knew that we were doomed I stay cold, feel the weight of the world Now I always, always walk alone without you

Medisina by Zild

Your fragrance Which I’ve searched for all throughout the night I can’t measure The distance between too much and enough I need you Come here already Medisina

This Will Make You Love Again by IAMX

Early thursday mornings wipe away the flies The crossfire fight for action in-between your thighs Every touch is sacred when they leave the room If I have to switch the lights off, I wanna switch them off with you

Howl by Florence & The Machine

If you could only see the beast you've made of me I held it in but now it seems you've set it running free The saints can't help me now, the ropes have been unbound I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallowed ground

Hit and Run by Lolo

I was brought up as a southern belle I grew into the queen of hell You were just a little stowaway That stabbed her way to save herself You always liked the taste of blood And I get off when I point the gun It's so good to have someone to be so bad with

Monster from Adventure Time: Distant Lands - Obsidian

I know we'll never grow old together 'Cause you'll never grow old to me You're the pink in my cheeks And I'm scared 'cause that means I'm a little bit soft

Love From The Other Side by Fall Out Boy

Sending my love from the other side of the apocalypse And I just about snapped Don't look back Every lover's got a little dagger in their hand

[roosterbox]

October Almost-Drabbles 10/15: Chill and Fog

Pairing: Cherik

Word Count: 958

Additional tags: alternate universe, First Class aged Cherik, the inherent creep factor of walking home alone at night, Cherik is together but they don’t live together yet, gratuitous cuddling, implied future cuddling, I’m back on my fluff bullshit again

Side note: two prompts again. Not quite as long as the last one, but it’s long enough for a cut. Was initially going to be angsty, if you can believe it. However, I can never seem to stop the fluff when I get myself going, lol.

———

Charles shuddered and pulled his coat tighter around him. The path through the park was clear enough, but the fog curling around his ankles and through the trees lent everything an eerie feeling. His way was lit by moonlight, also reflecting off the pond to his right, and he counted his lucky stars that tonight’s moon was full.

In any other circumstances - if it was his sister walking home, for example - he might have suggested a different route. Or just tell her to ask for a ride. But Charles was nothing if not stubborn. The early afternoon had been lovely, a perfect autumn day for a walk. Which he had done. But actions have consequences, and he was reaping them now.

Several times throughout, Charles could have sworn he’d seen a shadow in the mist. The vaguest shape of a man. Or a beast. Perhaps a bit of both. He was no stranger to men who acted in a beastly manner. The cold October breeze whipped through, making him pull his coat tighter once again. It was mostly thick, but a bit threadbare in some places. He didn’t want to admit that Erik had been right when he suggested (demanded, more like) Charles buy a new one, but… Erik had been right. I’ll tell him that as soon as I see him again. Good lord, he’ll be insufferable about it.

Something rustled beside him in the underbrush. He froze. After a few seconds, a dark shape darted out. It stopped to look at him, and he let out a nervous breath he’d been holding. Just a cat. Mostly black, but with a few light patches here and there. It made no sound, but stared at him as if daring him to make the first move. Or any move.

“Pardon me,” Charles said and continued walking, giving the animal a wide berth. It stayed there in the middle of the path, watching him, until he had put a few more yards between them. By the time he looked back again, it was gone. He hoped, wherever the cat was heading, that they would be warm and safe. And that a surprise appearance by a small furry creature would be the most excitement he would see on his trek back home.

He turned out to be right. The journey, about ten minutes long post-cat encounter, was delightfully uneventful. The worst thing about it by far was the breeze, sporadic but biting. His hands felt frozen despite him trying to keep them tucked away whenever he could. So much so that he fumbled with his keys on his doorstep, dropping them twice before he managed to find the building key. After that, he made his way through the lobby and up the stairs to his second level flat.

The minute he opened the door, he was hit by a blast of pleasant warmth. The heaters were running. They had been for a while. Charles hadn’t expected this. Nor did he expect a familiar face to poke out from around the corner.

“Erik?”

A smile. “Hello, old friend.”

Charles scoffed at the endearment. Old was hardly a term he’d have used to describe either of them, but the sentiment was one he shared.

“Hello, love.” He hung up his coat before crossing the distance and planting a kiss on the other man’s (warm! So warm!) lips. Erik frowned, wrapping his arms around his boyfriend.

“You’re freezing, Charles!”

Charles could only nod, and tuck his face into Erik’s neck. “‘S cold.”

To his credit, Erik didn’t flinch away from the ice cube of a nose rubbing against his skin. Instead, he pulled Charles closer. “Happy to be your personal heater, of course, but maybe next time you’ll let me come pick you up. Or better still, take your own car.”

Charles shook his head slowly. The feeling was coming back to his extremities, bringing with it pinpricks of tingling sensation. “Want an excuse to cuddle,” he mumbled.

Erik chuckled. “No excuse necessary, liebling. I’d just rather you be warm and comfortable when I stop by.”

“Warmer now.”

It was physically impossible for Erik to pull Charles any closer to him, but by G-d he tried. He’d have carved room into his ribcage just so that Charles would have a space to be safe and cared for forever. He always was the dramatic one between them. With that thought in mind he shifted a little, looking at Charles’ flushed face.

“Come on,” he tugged him towards the sofa. “Sit with me. I’ve got the good blankets. And a book I know you love. Maybe even some tea, if you can stand to be out of my arms for a few minutes?”

Charles considered this. Seemed to find it a good and reasonable suggestion. Nodded.

“Alright then. You go get comfortable. I’ll grab the Earl Grey. And we’ll sit and get you all warmed up together, hm?”

His partner hummed his approval, tilting his head back expectantly. Erik rolled his eyes, but felt a bloom of affection in his chest.

“So demanding,” he deadpanned before leaning down and kissing him again. And again. On the third pass, Charles attempted to deepen the kiss, which Erik allowed. For a moment at least, before pulling back, ignoring the other man’s quiet whine at the loss. “You’re a menace, my love. Still a cold one, though. Go on.”

He pushed a pouting Charles in the direction of the living area, towards the ratty old couch that’s needed replacing for months but they could never seem to find the time. As for himself, he made his way to the kitchen. There was a box of tea in there with both of their names on it, after all.

[telnaga]

“But isn’t that what killing is, anyway?” Sedrana asked, as she slid a filet knife into the salmon’s gut. “Taking a soul? Eating it? Adding it to yours?”

Rabbit’s long ears twitched back, in somewhat discomforted thought. In a reading nook a short distance from the kitchen counter, she leaned forward in her chair. “I think that’s more of a philosophy than an agreed upon truth. But… go on.”

“This fish’s soul is gone.” She scooped out strings of organ tissue with gentle fingers, beholding them for a moment in her cupped hand before they went in the offal pot. “We took it. And it adds to us. Keeps us going.”

“Do you mean to say the body is the soul?”

“No!” the heavier butcher knife thwacked through the spinal cord, just behind the gills. The salmon jerked, but its eyes remained lifeless. Thin reddish liquid saturated the waxed wood counter. Sedrana, her hands coated in it, was unbothered. “That’s stupid. The soul is the difference between a dead fish and a live one. We take it when we kill it, not when we eat it.” The head and glassy eyes went into the pot. She wiped her hands on her ratty canvas apron, and brushed loose hair out of her face, tying it back more securely. “But it’s always something tangible, killing. Maybe not when you don’t notice it, like stepping on a bug. But the decision, or the - the -” she made a gesture with her hands, shaking clawed fingers in the air. “The action. It puts something in you. There’s a change, a feeling. Haven’t you felt that?”

Rabbit’s ears pinned back and she shifted uncomfortably, finally setting her book down. She had been researching the dragonborn, trying to understand the nature of it, of them, of the… soul eating. And she reflected, hesitantly, back on the few times she had taken a life. The dull thud of her blood, the sharpness in her mind. The sense of stepping outside herself to become, for a moment (or perhaps forever), something else. Capable of more. “I… maybe.”

“I think it’s natural. It’s intrinsic.” She opened the fish, its red insides raw and vulnerable, the spine scores in the flesh. “We’re just… I dunno. The only ones who can digest dragons. If that makes sense.”

“...It’s a theory.” Rabbit rested her hand on the open book, running soft fingers over the delicately inked visage of a dragon rampant. “Of course, dragons can do it too.”

“Right, the only mortals who can digest dragons.” Sedrana dug the bones out carefully with the thin knife, littering the wet counter with slender, near-transparent spikes. “Or whatever. Non-dragons.”

“But we are dragons.”

“See, that’s what I don’t get.” She shifted focus from the fish, motioning from herself to Rabbit with the knife. “Do we look like dragons? Do we act like them?”

A scene brought itself to Rabbit’s mind - glinting teeth, shining blood on dark flesh, and Sedrana’s shape dominant atop a mountainous, ruined corpse.

“We’re mortal,” Sedrana continued, collecting the bones into the bucket. “‘Dragon soul’, sure, I don’t know. Do we have to be them just because we can speak their language? And kill them?” She gazed into the bucket of bones, fins, and guts. “This is going to make a great stock.”

A moment of silence passed between them. A few bars of birdsong fluttered in from the open bottle-glass windows, mellow and lilting.

Sedrana raised her eyes, worried, to Rabbit, who had her hands crossed in her lap and her eyes on the book, though she was not reading it.

“Do you wish we were normal?” she said.

Rabbit had a very familiar sort of pause that Sedrana saw, same head tilt and all, whenever she was thinking faster than she could hear her own thoughts. “I… don’t spend much time wishing for unreachable things. But I don’t see much good in this.”

“Well, we’re protecting people. Who else if not us? And - and the thu’um!” she saw Rabbit’s ears perk slightly, and she smiled, bolstered. “All that power, just in our voices. Gods, you’ve seen what it can do - this whole war, just because -” she broke off with a giddy laugh.

“The thu’um is interesting,” Rabbit said, half listening. “It’s - it’s a language, and it’s magic. It’s truth.”

“It’s a bit like music, isn’t it?” Seeing Rabbit relax slightly, Sedrana was satisfied, and shot a look over at the blood-strewn counter. “Hey, come help me chop vegetables for this. You’re eating it too, you know.”

“Oh, I know,” Rabbit sighed, standing and straightening her skirts. “You’re just better at cleaning the fish.”

[rafent]

How hypocritical is your muse? If they can be hypocritical, do they realise this about themselves? How do they reconcile with it?

♙ ; how hypocritical is your muse? If they can be hypocritical, do they realize this about themselves? how do they reconcile with it? ( also asked by @unsungblade )

My hot Engage take is that Rafal is simultaneously one of the least and most hypocritical characters in the cast.

For instance, if we defer to one common example of hypocrisy which is moral superiority contrasted with one's immoral behavior or beliefs, Rafal from that perspective will never water down his own values and dilute them with a sense of sanctimony by saying one thing and believing another. Whatever opinion he gives to someone else will be exactly what he means. This applies to all situations that demand for his opinion in some way, shape, or form as well.

He's hardcore, he puts his front foot down, and, ultimately, Rafal happens to be a lot of things - prickly, arrogant, self-centered, critical, jealous, imperfect, stubborn, and intense - but the one thing he'll never be is a hypocrite who dresses up his views to look better than they are. He's honest. . .but only in that light.

Other than that, Rafal is absolutely hypocritical. One hundred thousand percent. We see Rafal's particular brand of hypocrisy most common with characters from his past, situations and relationships where he tends to do a lot of posturing and 'biting' in an effort to dissuade further interaction. Something Gregory describes as Rafal's seeming obligation (it definitely is) and also something that Gregory's support chain showcases pretty well:

Gregory: Well, if it isn’t Lord Rafal. What a coincidence, running into you in this great, wide Somniel.

Rafal: Ugh…

Gregory: Whoa, what’s with the silent treatment? We’ve always been such good allies.

Rafal: Ah, yes, now I recall. You are one of those mewling Four Winds wretches.

Rafal expresses his contempt for Gregory by implicating him to be forgettable - diminishing his identity to someone whose name he doesn't even remember. He treats him like a sore inconvenience, but most importantly: a nobody. Who are you again? Did I mean something to you? That sort of thing. And this encounter isn't reflective at all of how Rafal truly feels about the people he once shared battles and struggles with.

The affectation of his dislike isn't genuine and it isn't constant, either. Rafal's more truthful reality becomes plain to see when it comes to losing what he loved, because at that point there's no more purpose to his facade or walls. It's a hard prerequisite for his honesty but the reason for it is clear: a defensive pretense isn't needed when the other person isn't alive to require it.

Died (Gregory): We should wrap Gregory’s body in something soft, at least. It is what he would want.

Died (Zelestia): Zelestia is gone. I was wondering why it had suddenly become so quiet…

Died (Madeline): Madeline left us much too soon. Let us resolve not to squander any more young lives.

When Gregory dies, Rafal sheds his distance and adopts a more familiar judgment in 'what he would want', revealing that Gregory's interests were always things he took measure of, and that he'd preserved them all along. A blatant contradiction to the who-are-you treatment given to him in their C-support. When Zelestia dies, he enacts a similar sense of his familiarity albeit with her rambunctious personality, something viewed in a positive, room-filling light. Madeline's death instead calls upon his regretful reference to her age, an uncharacteristically tender emphasis at that.

The common ground between all of Rafal's reactions is a fond qualitative observation about his deceased Wind. Sentiment. Emotions and attachments that aren't betrayed on a surface level by his harsh words, particularly the ones pointed at them during his versus dialogue as Fell!Nil. Every expectation of hatred that Rafal gave during that time is negated by what he says and does afterward. Remembering their preferences, mourning their larger-than-life presence, and regretting their fate.

Even his shared support with Mauvier reflects a similar verdict; that what Rafal bespeaks to devalue his previous bonds differs from his actual beliefs.

Rafal: I do not require anything at the moment.

Mauvier: Good. If that changes, I assume you know how to find me.

Rafal: I would extend to you the same offer. I know you have a tendency to overwork yourself.

A far cry from Nil, Rafal is not a good liar. But he is an excellent hypocrite.

Most incriminating is the fact that he remembers things. If Rafal truly hated someone he wouldn't make remarks about their likes or concerned allusions to their most destructive tendencies. The ultimatum is that he cares. He cares and 9.5 out of 10 times he won't allow himself to show that.

The exception is present-world Mauvier, because him being a separate Mauvier without intimate knowledge of the sins that Rafal committed exempts him from Rafal's 'obligation' to keep far, far away from the people that he's hurt. And because said obligation is such a strong motivation, even if he did realize his own hypocrisy I doubt he would reconcile with the fact or try to amend it.

[rosalinewintrell]

The Letter

You guys! It's Wednesday! I forgot what day it was! This isn't my favorite chapter, and I know it reflects in my writing, but I just couldn't figure out a way to cut it and make the next little arc make sense. There is a possibility I'll revise it in the future.

I hope you enjoy!

A few weeks later, Garreth and Rosaline were in potions together, though they sat at separate stations now. Things had remained comfortable between them, even if some of Garreth’s longing looks were more than simply friendly. He seemed to be keeping his word, about taking a step back, for now.

It saddened Rosaline a little. She had truly enjoyed Garreth’s company and his easy manner, but it seemed like this distance was something he wanted, or needed, in order to prove something to himself, and far be it from Rosaline to try and stand in his way. They were still friends, of course, it was hard to stop being Garreth’s friend once you began after all, but she couldn’t say she didn’t miss the closeness they had shared for a little while.

And now, to make things even more complicated, she had received a letter from her grandfather regarding Garreth’s concerns over the stock at J. Pippins Potions it read:

Dear Rosaline,

Thank you for alerting me to the questionable quality of the School’s closest potions shop—J. Pippins you said? I recall the name, but I remember it being such a well-run shop I never thought to inspect it before deciding to move you to Hogwarts.

I sent a proxy to look over the place last week and they indeed reported that the quality and quantity of the shop’s inventory was quite lacking. It is of great importance that we remedy this as quickly—and cordially—as possible. That being said, I am planning on moving the Family to the Ainsworth Estate for the Christmas Holidays so we might all go and see about this issue ourselves.

Before we do so, however, I would like to meet the young man who alerted you to the issue. I believe you said his name was Garreth Weasley? They are a good family; I am not surprised one of their ilk discovered what was going on.

Please prepare your friend to meet with your grandmother and I over Christmas break, along with one of his parents. It wouldn’t do to interview the boy without some support after all. I will send another owl once I have more details regarding our travel.

With Love,

GrandPapa

The letter had arrived two days prior, another containing her Grandparents’ travel had just arrived that morning and now Rosaline had no reason to put off telling Garreth. She wasn’t worried about his reaction, but she also didn’t want to interrupt his own plans for the Christmas break. She agonized over what she would say to him the entire class, her eyes glancing towards him as he concentrated on his own notes. She was lucky they were taking theory notes today. She might’ve blown something up otherwise.

She was able to catch him before he left the room, stopping him with a quick tap to his shoulder. “Garreth, could I have a moment?”

“Of course, Rosaline,” the Gryffindor said brightly, “Anything for you. Walk with me?”

She explained things as best she could as they walked, trying to stay quiet as they walked through the halls. She wasn’t discussing anything remotely secretive, but she still didn’t want people to know about her business. She was a private person by nature, and that was only compounded by her family’s political fame. “They’d like to speak with you and one of your parents around Christmas, if they could. If it won’t interrupt your holiday, of course.”

Garreth shook his head with his normal nonchalance despite the news, simply shrugging and looking down at her with a smile. “I’ll send a letter to my parents tonight, but it shouldn’t be an issue. I stay here Christmas usually anyway.”

“And…your parents won’t mind travelling?” Rosaline inquired. She really was concerned about upsetting Garreth or his family.

“Nah, especially if only one needs to make the trip. My Pops will probably come so Ma can stay with Emmeline—my sister.”

“You…really aren’t upset by this? At all?” She asked.

Garreth shook his head and shrugged. “What’s there to be upset about? If anything, I am absolutely ecstatic! I mean, your grandfather is a legendary Potioneer. I’m lucky to breath the same air as him, let alone speak to him personally.”

Rosaline chuckled and shook her head. She knew that Garreth looked up to grandfather, it wasn’t a surprise given the boy’s own passion towards the subject, and, in a way, that made the boy’s idolization of her grandfather less irritating. Most people admired him for his political status, Garreth admired him for his skill and ability. It certainly made their conversations about him more interesting.

“I hope he lives up to the legend.”

Garreth scoffed and stopped in front of the entrance to his next class. “If he’s anything like you, I know he will.”

And here they were again, in one of those moments where Garreth gazed down at her, such longing and affection shining in his eyes, smile wide and soft as he regarded her.

“Well,” Rosaline said, glancing over Garreth’s shoulder to see the room behind him filling with more students. “I suppose this is where I leave you.” She smiled softly.

“Oh, right,” Garreth said, shoulders drooping just a little. “I’ll catch you later, Rosaline!” He recovered quickly and his smile brightened as he turned with a wave.

“Bye,” Rosaline whispered, hand raised in farewell.

[knowledgeoverknives]

23. The Calf Care - How Emotions Are Seen As Dangerous In Inc3st Families (Inc3st/ c0cs@ edition)

In todays episode, we introduce a new permanent character: Princess Jasmine, the magnetising elephant living in Mars.

This is more of a relaxed type of post, not much reflection just enjoy the story! We’ll be exploring how inc3st family structures breeds npd behaviour as a survival mechanism.. also themes of …c0cs@, hyp3rs3xuality, npd too 💗

As a young calf, Jasmine always seemed to embody a delicate balance of power and vulnerability.. she had a soft…playful presence about her. She always felt misunderstood though.. like she was from Venus and everyone else is from Mars. She knew she felt too much.. in an environment we’re that was the huge weakness. Jasmines best trait to fit in was being a know-it-all.. like.. …yes, I am shy and awkward.. but I am also smart! So I matter..

Jasmine attended a daycare for calves called ‘The Calf Care’ ran by a Matriarch. She felt less alone here as she knew many calf’s here from birth.

However… The older calves and the younger ones.. the dynamic something was just off… There was a lot of cattiness, shade..s3xual tension.. However, Jasmine experiencing her own !nc3st at home, saw some of the dynamics as somewhat normal.

Child 0n Child S3xu@l Abuse Framed As Games..

The was a game the males and females played: Where the male calves would drag, kidnapped into a room & r@p3 them, it was somewhat a game, somewhat frightening.

Some of the female calves showed other.. types of reactions to the game that Jasmine didn’t quite understand at the time. They didn’t react the way she did.. they giggled.. they initiated it…they thought it was fun… They were even good at it. Jasmine grew frustrated …why am I such a cry baby.. I want to be good too.. that means they’ll like me more..

But the females were also competitive and manipulative, between eachother.. and a lot of the times they’d lure Jasmine into dangerous situations. As they grew older, Jasmine distanced herself but knowledge of their Hyp3rs3xual or ‘promiscuous’ behaviour didn’t go unheard of.. rumours spread “ She’s Had 14 Abortions”… “She’s Sleeping With Her Brother!”… Jasmine, still never put two and two together of the ‘why ‘ of their behaviour.

Within The Calf Cafe.. Jasmine got a lot of attention from the male calves but being young and naive.. she thought it was a ‘normal’ kiddy crush.. they think I’m pretty and interesting.. she thought..not realising the dept of s3xual energy and competitiveness it bought out between the other calves.

Jasmine thought they didn’t like her, but no, they were just competing with her. In Inc3st families, the competition is deeper because s3x is involved.. It creates more toxic family environments where back stabbing, gossip and other toxic shit runs wild…

Hyp3rs3xuality In The Calf Care In Males & Females

On a deeper level, Jasmine reflects how… the other females their main abuser were their fathers. These father figures were sadistic, lacked empathy and were hyp3rs3xual so you can imagine what things they made their daughters do.. you can imagine the normalisation of the abuse of if your own father is having s3x with you and making you think that’s how he shows love to you..You can imagine how afraid they were to say no.. the age difference/size/POWER DYNAMIC.. It’s no wonder hyp3rs3xuality developed as a coping mechanism.

Because it’s maybe for them, that was the best way to feel in control. If tell yourself and your body you want have s3x with your dad.. that means your in charge of your body, not him.. also it means you’ll show him less fearful emotions (which people with NPD feed of) and so maybe the abuse will be less brutal.. On top of that your body develops more urges, which then seems natural to act on.. your just doing what feels physically pleasurable (sometimes) and you feel in control.. Thus Hp3rs3xuality is formed.

Many of the females and males showed clear signs of NPD.. e.g Lacking Empathy.. impulsive.. manipulative.. Detached.. Charming.

The males were a lot bigger, older and manipulative, they of course took charge of the games in the most detached and disturbing ways.

Pretty Privileged Can Play A Part, But Control And Power Are More Enticing

As Jasmine matured… and reflected on the dynamics from chilhood.. she started to ask quesrions.. ..why was I the main targets of these attacks..was because I was pretty.. is that it? Yes, it explains some the competitive nature.. but there’s more to it.

It was her..innocence, her big emotions.. The more she’d scream, fight.. cry.. the more ‘fun’ it was for them. Many of them lacked empathy, and saw her tears and emotions as something that fuelled their s3xu@l urges. Her fear and emotions made her a bigger target.

As for the males… They were also in s3xual relationships with their parents. To survive that as a male.. an adult forcing your body to fit things it cannot fit… …encouraging you to perform s3xual acts on them or vise versa... …introducing you to disgusting s3xual acts or being physically aggressive to you… And on top of that society already tells you to show less emotions and be a ‘man’… I can understand why a common reaction is to that abuse is to shut off your emotions to survive.. because if your strong, detached, emotionally numb & hyp3rs3xual.. no one can abuse you because your in control of your body… you feel have the power.

Emotions = Weakness = More Abuse In Inc3st Families

Then it clicked for Jasmine.. people like her.. who show emotions.. which are seen as weakness.. they don’t tend to survive well in those households.. Realistically.. it’s seemed easier.. for many calves to be detached, calculated and aggressive to survive.

Now it makes more sense why many of you reading this will relate to having signs npd or being called a narc by females/males around you.. it’s a survival mechanism.. You needed to be strong, not show emotions, not show weakness because the more you did..the more you got hurt. But your safe now, your in control of your body and your choices, you need to allow yourself to feel something.. before you explode.

🌸

HAPPY HEALING

🌸

[stillagoodwitch]

sude omg hiiii my lovely!!!!!! was just listening to the new sabrina songs + having a blast + was wondering abt all your thoughts on them mwah!!!!!!!<33333 love you xx

HI THEAA!!! omg i'm so glad you're enjoying them i love you happy valentine's dayyyyyy just remembered when i told you to listen to the things i wish you said and now we're hereee crazy... I LOVEEEEE THEM.... made me reflect on the day eics fwd got released and it's wilddd how different everything is.. warning for a lot of parasocial behavior under the cut thank you for giving me the chance to display it <333

how are youuuuu how is your day going are you doing well and how do you feel about themm which one is your favorite

15 minutes is soooo insane and it feels like a great victory lap like!!!!! she's been working herself to the bone since she was 12 and she's here and she's one of the biggest people in the world,,,, just unreal,,, and she knows exactly what to do with her 15 minutes of fame and my mouth dropped. there was a scrapped snippet i really wanted on sns where she was talking about how everyone's kissing her ass now and acting like nothing happened after not supporting her through an insane hate train that ruined her life and WE GET HER TALKING ABOUT IT HERE TOO!!! i feel very passionate about that like literally everyone adored her and always talked about how amazing she was and how much they respected her and then Bam it became trendy to hate on her and suddenly all of them wanted in on the joke and also many of her friends distanced themselves from her. SHE WAS JUST 21 AND HAD DONE NOTHING WRONG... also it lasted way longer than a usual online hate train considering it was the pandemic and everyone was just looking for something to talk about!! anyways i'm sure it got much much worse now since the previous scrapped song considering she's universally adored by the most talented people in the world... "where did all these parties come from when did all you bitches get so nice? running out of the woodwork and hoping there's no brain between my eyes." EXACTLYYYY CHANGED MY LIFE.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE FT DOLLY PARTON!!!!!!! SHE LITERALLY HAS DOLLY PARTON SINGING ON HER ALBUM AFTER BEING ON CHRISTINA'S SOOOO WILD. i've seen people say mixed things about this one but i love it?? i think it's amazing<3333 what a great time to live i love the country and i love the mv where they kidnap and bury the guy from the original mv<33

couldn't make it any harder NOW THIS SONG!!!! definitely things i wish you said of this album, i got into sabrina bc of her vocals when i was 12 and of course they're completely different now and for sure 12 year old me would be floored. i just sat down and thought about it a little like i was littleee me and i would sit at the back of the school bus at 6am and would listen to her singing too young live and think wow i don't really care much for this girl but i might be in love with her voice... lol... ANYWAYS IT ALSO WRECKED ME???? I WAS EASIER THAN I AM NOW!! WOULD'VE FOLDED BUT I CAN'T NOW!!!! YOU SAY YOU CAN TAKE IT BUT YOU DON'T KNOW HOW HARD I CAN MAKE IT!!! just makes me want to throw up and i'm sure it would've been worse if i had it last year so yayyy good timing... she will probably switch between deluxe songs on the europe leg and i'm sooo hoping to get this one. also "i know you're frustrated because i will not let you touch me" :/// i love that she saw how much people loved her covering hopelessly devoted to you and made this

BUSY WOMAN IS THE SONG OF ALL TIME AND HELPED ME GET OVER AN INSANE ONE SIDED LOVE SITUATION like i would just put it on for an hour before going to see her it was a little funny but i'm better now yayyy it's like the most fun song ever i'm so glad it's on streaming now and i think it may go into the setlist fully like olivia did so american... we'll seeeee

i have sooooo little thoughts about bad reviews like it sounds absolutely beautiful but i spent the last 3 months inside my parents' house with no human contact and lost my ability to relate to many emotions i think... lol... i have a feeling this song is going to become huge for me in a few months and let's hope not,,, i love that it's basically bad for business but older and Worse and more aware of it's own delusion like you're not even my boyfriend and everyone is telling me it's not going to end well and i can see it too but i WILL make it work and i WILL love you till the end in spite of it all like fun... not to experience probably as i'm writing my self fulfilling prophecy but i enjoy it being told<33333

thank you for giving me the chance to be my most annoying self although you probably regret it by now<33 I'M SOOO PROUD OF HER AND WATCHING HER FOR 10 YEARS WAS THE GREATEST THING EVER AND IS JUST SO MOTIVATING TO HAVE SEEN HOW HARD SHE WORKED AND MANAGED TO RISE FROM THE BOTTOM AGAIN

ANYWAYS I HOPE YOU HAVE THE BEST DAY EVER MWAH

[thebleedingeffect]

Hi I’m very late to the party BUT I just saw this post (https://www.tumblr.com/thebleedingeffect/761565830330925056/hi-hello-hello-can-someone-please-ask-me-about-how) despite it being days old and. If you are still wanting to talk I am wanting to listen!!!! No pressure tho :-)

HIIIIIIII EMIL <33 AND YES I WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS SOSOSOSSO BAD, THANK YOU FOR ASKING !!! Apologies that it took me a second though to answer this, I fell asleep just as I got it and then I had to go do some irl responsibilities... but I'm here now and ready to lose my mind!

So, just to preface this and give some more depth to this rabbit hole I'm about to go down, I want to say of just how fascinating it is to me whenever Zelda and Link parallel each other. Botw is the most overt example of this, at least in my opinion, but sksw, oot, and ww are also very good examples of this trend. And just to be clear, it's a very good trend! The idea of Link and Zelda mirroring each other and their journeys, struggles, and clear parallels while being so apart for one another? It's brilliant and genuinely one of my favorite things whenever it comes to thinking about any Link and Zelda dynamic. From sksw Link and Zelda having a very clear emotional journey entirely separate from each other where they're forced to grow up from forces much larger than them. From oot Link and Zelda being mirrors of the lose of innocence, loneliness, and sacrifice in the face of a world that will never remember just what you gave up. From ww Link and Zelda and how the ultimate fate of hyrule forces them into these predestined roles that they eventually break out of, symbolizing the death of the old hyrule.

Which is why tp Link and Zelda are so fascinating to me, because they are the one exception to this rule.

From the beginning of the game, hyrule and the princess Zelda are introduced as this far-away, near untouchable force. There's the sort of sense that the castle, and therefore Zelda, is larger than life and the sheer power and regality of her reflects that. Put that in comparison to Link, who's introduced by sitting next to a lake, being a normal guy who lives in a simple village, and who does the equivalent of chores for other people. How they're both introduced is fascinating because it puts them at direct opposition of each other's world, they couldn't have been more different from the start if they tried. Link, who's very much a part of the community and his presence is reflected back onto so many of the side characters throughout the story. Zelda, who's the princess of hyrule and even accepts surrender in the face of saving her own people, but there's an undeniable distance that puts her apart from her and her people.

Part of me believes that the communities that surround both Link and Zelda are sort of reflections of their own selves. Ordon and the rebellion are very much freedom fighters who are intensely concerned with protecting their own and their protectiveness reflects just how much they care about each other on an individual level. Castle town is strangely... distant, almost absent, and seem intensely focused on themselves or keeping the peace. Castle town is an undeniable symbol of prestige, privilege, and wealth as well as sitting right in the shadow of the crown of hyrule, the castle itself. Where each of the corners effect each other throughout the rest of hyrule, castle town is pretty isolated and does not concern itself with the struggles of what's outside its walls, with the exception of the rebellion. This does not mean that Zelda is secretly a cruel, indifferent, or selfish person, but to me, it simply illustrates just how deep her isolation runs. The closest person that Zelda is ever shown to be with is Midna, and even then, Midna still had an entire kingdom and even Link by her side. Between the three of them, I would say that Zelda is most definitely the one most starved for connections outside of her station.

In any other loz game, this would probably be an introduction to Link and Zelda beginning to fall by each other's side and either a sort of alliance or understanding is formed from the difficulties of their own shared journey. But, simply put, that never happens. This Link and Zelda are probably the most distant incarnations to each other that have existed thus far. They're so much of opposites and each have their own issues with isolation, loneliness, abandonment, and belonging, that both parallel but also deeply clash with one another. In my mind, I've always believed that tp Zelda has had the idea forced upon her that she is the literal reflection of the kingdom and should act as such. She's the princess, the pride of hyrule, and her behavior and relations towards others should be reflective of her status. Does she truly believe she's above everyone else and should be treated like royalty at all times? No, but she holds herself to such intense standards that it's just hard for her to sympathize and have an equal respect/trust relationship with most anyone.

That's why she connects with Midna so well because, out of everyone, Midna is the most likely one who would understand the struggles of being the lone ruler to a struggling kingdom. Midna is easily relatable as they share the same struggles, thus Zelda feels more at ease as she doesn't have to risk any sort of uncomfortable vulnerability that she's been taught is unbecoming of her station. She can't risk any sort of weakness as she is the very pillar of the kingdom, and Midna is, sadly, the best shot she ever had at having someone who understood her with so few words spoken.

All of this comes back to the idea of tp Zelda and Link having such a hard time understanding, sympathizing, and getting along, at least in my mind, because they've been kept separate and have their own problems that get in the way of them connecting.

Link, in particular, I think struggles heavily with the burden of responsibility and the fact that he truly does not feel like he belongs in either hyrule or Ordon after the events of the game. He's changed to much, seen to much, has bled far to much to ever go back to the life he once lived with a near care-free nature that seems so alien to him now. He feels like he must hide the true scope of just how much he's changed because, to the world, he's either the hero or the small town boy. He's one or the other, he finds that he cannot be both, and part of him doesn't want to be either of them. Link is stuck in a situation where he has not only fulfilled his role, but he has surpassed it, and just like how Zelda in confined to her role as princess... Link begins to be confined to his role as hero. A role that he took up because there was no one else and he truly did want to help and save people, but will he be allowed to be his own person once the dust settles? Will he be allowed to breath when a hyrule who has just escaped a near calamity is so desperate for the two beacons of hyrule?

This is interesting to me because Zelda's and Link's situations either contrast sharply or directly mirror each other, but their own differences make it so, so incredibly hard for them to understand each other. In a way, Midna was the best thing for them as she was the sort of bridge between them, but with her gone? Their loss, grief, feeling of abandonment, and their own crushing sense of responsibility on their shoulders means that it's just so hard for them to sympathize and understand each other. In my personal interpretation of the both of them, I think Zelda is desperate for things to go back to "how they used to be" so that she can ignore the own pit of longing and loneliness that she carries now that Midna is gone. The kingdom was saved, her people are now desperate for a sense of stability and comradery, and it's the perfect distraction that she needs to push down her own feelings. After all, she's the princess first and human being second, so it's just easy for her to lose herself in the demands of her own people and let her own needs fester inside her.

But Link? Link just cannot pretend that everything is fine and that everything will be okay if it all goes back to normal. In a strange sort of way, Link is the more emotionally honest one by saying that he just can't be the same farm boy as much as he can't be a knight of hyrule. Link knows this about himself, as much as he hates the truth, and I also really like the idea that Link is one of the few people who approaches Zelda like a person first before he ever approaches her like a princess. It's that unspoken breach of how she carries herself and for what the world has deemed her greatest purpose to be, that immediately puts her on edge. Link hates being spoken to like "the hero" and as such, refuses to approach Zelda with the same formality since it's so strange and uncomfortable to him.

It's all of this and more that eventually spirals into them having such a hard time speaking and even interacting with other. Their lives, their worldviews, how they approach grief and responsibility, and the inherent opposite nature of how they've processed their own trauma- makes their relationship extremely rocky. All of their sharpened edges clash with other in their most vulnerable places, and it doesn't help that they are each other's most painful reminder of the troubles they've endured. So, in a way, they still do mirror each other, but in such a way that leaves them so incompatible because they're so stuck in their own hurt and worrying for others- that they just cannot bridge the gap of misunderstanding and hurt on their own. It doesn't exactly help that so much of their own self-worth is tied up around in "serving" others that in order to help each other, they would either have to be painfully vulnerable or sacrifice their own happiness and comfort! One demands for everything to go back to how it was, so that she can ignore the pain in her heart, as if it never existed in the first place. The other demands for a home, to be his own person, to be more than the legacy that was forced upon him, at the same time as knowing that he can never go back to the life he was once so happy with.

One demands for the past, the other wants another future.