#hetalia incorrect quotes

[marsinout]

England: Touching grass is not enough. I NEED TO GO TO THE SEA. *jumps into the sea*

[thirdlotusprince3]

Germany: You were stabbed. Do you remember anything?

Japan: Only the ambulance ride to the hospital

Germany: That wasn’t an ambulance, I drove you.

Japan: but I heard a siren.

Germany: That was Italy screaming.

[kioneira]

Learning about the Polish situation after the partitions is so funny because you learn that after one of the Uprisings when everything from language to culture got banned in the Prussian part of the Annexation, (it got banned everywhere but let's ignore that for a moment) some Germans started to get interested in that because "why is it banned"?

And I just imagine the situation where poor Gilbert is just sitting in his study or just some office space doing paperwork maybe, and teenager Ludwig just comes in and is like:

Ludwig/Germany "I wanna learn Polish"

Gilbert/Prussia "You what now?"

It's the greatest revenge of Feliks.

[helianskies]

France: i like my men like i like my whisky

England: twice your age and from Scotland?

Prussia: smoky? full-bodied? leaving you gasping a little?

Spain: left in an oak barrel for at least 3 years with very little oxygen?

[youroriginalsublimecupcakestuff]

Germany : i'm pretty easy going.

Prussia : you once used a ruler to mesure another ruler .

Germany : it was off by Half a centimeter .it never should have been in circulation.

[apersonwholikeslotus]

ok but i was reading about the Liechtenstein family in relation to the Hapsburgs and they're noted as having been "close advisors" to the Hapsburgs, and all that went through my mind is

Some guy idk: does she have to be here?

Austria/Hungary/idk maybe even Spain: excuse you, she is an important advisor to the throne. Yes She Has To Be Here; show some respect.

Liechtenstein, like 8 yrs old and just happy to be invited: :D

[hetalia-incorrect-quotes]

Germany: What are you writing?

Prussia: The boss wants to know what kind of weapons we have. I'm letting them know it's private information.

Germany, looking over Prussia's shoulder: This just says 'fuck around and find out' in calligraphy.

[icebear4president]

America: Make no mistake. Not only am I party rocking, but I am also in the house tonight.

Canada: But are you shuffling?

America: Everyday.

England: What language do you two speak?!

[marsinoff]

England, when alone: I SHOULD BE IN THE WOODS. EATING POISONOUS BERRIES.

[council-of-beetroot]

Feliks: *is about to be killed*

Feliks: Wait, Wait. Stop. If you are going to kill me, let me fix my hair. I want to leave an absolutely gorgeous corpse.

[bitchapalooza]

America: You know, technically speaking you are a dilf.

Austria: Germany, may I change seats please?

America: No, no, here me out dude! You raised Vene like he was your kid— not counting the whole child labor arc I mean. And now you’ve got Kugelmugel! You, sir, are a single father of two. A true dilf. A dad Hungary and Spain would like to fu—

Austria: Cameroon, want to switch? I’ll give you all the money you could ask for right now if you switch seats with me.

[marsinout]

Lithuania: 👀 Poland: His big doleful eyes and violently self-destructive tendencies have captivated me.

[thirdlotusprince3]

Lithuania: *sneezes*

Poland:

Lithuania: What your not even going to say “bless you”?

Poland: I’m sitting here with you, you’ve already been blessed.

[foolilazuli]

When countries full name each other they probably dont use human names like Alfred F Jones cause thats for when theyre interacting with humans so they probably full name their country names

England: United States of America, you come down here this instant

Australia, to America: Ooo, you’re in trouble

England: Commonwealth of Australia, that goes for you too

Australia: Aw shit

[samrut]

Tolys: No, this is not a mess. You know what I consider a mess?

Eduard: Your life?

Tolys: I- well yes, but -

[apersonwholikeslotus]

France: being your boyfriend is boring.

England: … I’m sorry?

France: we should go back to being homoerotic enemies, it was much more fun.

England:

England: I thought you’d never ask.