#hfthw spoilers

[thevoiceofdesertbluffs]

No bc Valerie was literally so fucking real for this

[little-paper-ghost-child]

Nobody asked for this but here’s me Rating on a scale of 1 to 10 how much I would trust animals from podcasts with my life

1: the admiral (TMA)- the timeline really depends because if it’s when the lil guy is living with Georgie still then 8/10 but if it’s s5 then most likely more of a 3/10 because you know, stuff w the hunt happened (was it the hunt? I’m tired)

2: koshekh (WTNV)- uhh 5/10 because he is a silly little guy but I’m also pretty sure unless I’m in the nightvale radio station bathroom he can’t rlly do much plus he’s murdered people I think?

3: nimbus (HFTHW)- 3/10 i love cats and I would love to trust nimbus more but them seems to be a little bit of an interdimensional being and also nikignik hates them

4: Jackie & Heidi (HFTHW)- Jackie is for sure 9/10 she is loyal and on task and the sweetest bean Heidi on the other hand is more of a 5/10 just because she is like dead and spooky and stuff.

5: Edgar (HFTHW)- 0/10 he eats souls there is nothing more to say.

6: Bruno (W.BG) the most precious baby boy 9/10 he is so silly and goofy and he would be a 10/10 however dispite his perfect everything he is also not very smart, still the goodest boy though.

(Edited)

AHH okay so here’s more.

7: the omen(HFTHW)- I feel like it depends on how the omen feels about me already, because I think it would kill me themself but if I’m on good terms then 7/10 probably

8: bluster the gigantic horse (W.BG)- somehow this horse is exceedingly smart however I think his exceedingly large size might get in the way in some situations so 6/10

AND SOME MORE

9: the late chubbums the wonder girl (W.BG)- love her so 6/10 just because I don’t think she could save me if I was in space.

10: lady Ethel’s flys (HFTHW)- I’m gonna say 2/10 because I believe that they could do maybe something if I was important to them but most likely I’m actually diner soooo

(Also if anyone could be a doll and remind me who Delilah is because I forgot and I feel very bad about it)

Comment if I forgot any:))

[lathrine]

three shards of marolmar

[clovergrass00]

Lady Ethel Mallory has been accumulating spider-like traits as HFTH goes on, from the pet flies she keeps on leashes, to the alarming dark web(?) she used to trap Marco on the roof of Box Cassiopeia. 

The Lady stopped, and waved the train of her coat across Marco’s body; when the fur and velvet passed, he was plastered to the surface of the Dreaming Box with a thick tangle of black veiny cord. (ep81)

I couldn’t help but be reminded of the other iconic spider-coded villainess of my childhood nightmares, the Beldam, or The Other Mother, from Neil Gaiman’s Coraline. These are, of course, two very different horror stories and very different characters. For example, LEM doesn’t exactly create an alternate reality that appeals to your every whim in order to lure you in and steal your soul, but... huh. So I begin. 

(Just a warning - this post is long. I’m not sure I necessarily have an argument, but I’m doing some comparative analysis with textual support. It’s a fun detail-focused dive into two wonderful texts.)

Since personally it was 13 years between when I first read Coraline and my recent reread, here’s a refresher on the Beldam (or if you haven’t read it and don’t care abt spoilers): a shapeshifter who almost perfectly resembles Coraline’s mother, except for the black buttons sewn onto her eyes, and her long, thin hands with pointed fingernails like claws; and the way she is the ruler and creator of the alternative reality perfectly tailored to Coraline’s tastes; and the way she eats beetles; and how she sucks children lifeless and traps their souls in marbles, dating back at least several hundred years. Coraline discovers her dark side after resisting the temptation of a perfect life and demanding to return to her original world and family.

While the animated movie leaned literally into her spider-like qualities by giving the puppet a monstrous transformation, the novella largely used metaphor (and the bug-eating):

Her other mother’s hand scuttled off Coraline’s shoulder like a frightened spider.

“Spiders’ webs only have to be large enough to catch flies.”

It was funny, Coraline thought. The other mother did not look anything at all like her own mother. She wondered how she had ever been deceived into imagining a resemblance. The other mother was huge—her head almost brushed the ceiling of the room—and very pale, the color of a spider’s belly. Her hair writhed and twined around her head, and her teeth were as sharp as knives…

The hand, running high on its fingertips, scrabbled through the tall grass and up on to a tree stump.

The direct spider comparisons are sparse but called upon quite effectively to describe the kind of witch she is, the trap she’s spun, the way she intends to consume Coraline. 

However, much of the stickiness of her “web” comes from psychological tools rather than rope. She shows Coraline the attention she had always craved from her parents, cooks delicious meals whereas Coraline had previously criticized her dad’s cooking and her mom’s lazy non-attempts, gives her an overflowing magical toy box, and turns their boring elderly neighbors into spectacularly entertaining (if bizarre and creepy) performance artists.

“Stay here with us,” said the voice from the figure at the end of the room. “We will listen to you and play with you and laugh with you. Your other mother will build whole worlds for you to explore, and tear them down every night when you are done. Every day will be better and brighter than the one that went before. Remember the toy box? How much better would a world be built just like that, and all for you? … If you stay here, you can have whatever you want.”

Now what does that all remind you of? Granted, Lady Ethel Mallory didn’t create BotCo or the Prime Dream herself, but she’s definitely responsible for the scale of the kingdom it’s become, and is the voice of the promise that people sell their lives for.

If there is a place you wish to visit, we can add it to your Favorite Dreams, or see if it’s been made public in the Prime Dream!... It’s all part of the Prime Dream, and it’s yours to explore.

Your interests and activity also influence other parts of the dreaming experience, such as the ads you see on Botco Advertising surfaces. It’s all to make sure your dreams are peaceful, pleasing, and happy every night in a row, and that whenever you need something, you already have it… (ep87)

When they don’t get their way, they resort to twisting their victim’s ideas of reality to turn them back again towards them. No matter how straight a line Coraline walks from her house, she returns back to it in time. The Other Mother shows Coraline a video of her parents exclaiming how happy they are that she’s gone, and she half-believes it to be true. At the end of the scene:

“And,” said her father, “I take great comfort in knowing that her other mother will take better care of her than we ever could.” 

Moth experiences similar psychological torture from Botco twisting and manipulating Moth’s dreams and memories to have loved ones direct Moth to the Prime Dream over and over again. In such a dream, not only do your loved ones share what they think is best for you, they also abandon you at the same time. Where else are you to go?

And how could I neglect to point out the use of “family” to welcome lost and neglected characters into the arms of someone who loudly purports to care about them?

“Hello, Moth,” said Lady Ethel Mallory. “Welcome to our happy dreaming family. I’m sure the journey wasn’t easy, but we are so glad to have you here with us at last.” 

“And then we’ll all be together as one big happy family,” said her other mother. “For ever and always.”

A key difference between the two is while the Beldam traps and then eats children’s souls, technically LEM is advertising a service which most of their customers consent to purchasing. Obviously, she kidnaps many of our favorite characters, but the vast majority of the millions of dreamers supposedly turned themselves in. They’ll live out their lives in bliss (if they’re not working off their subscription fees via some weird indentured servitude that’s only been hinted at) and then die without ever having to fend for themselves in the desolate post-apocalyptic landscape the outside world has become.

Lady Ethel can’t resist throwing in some spider language, though maybe that was due to the conceit of it appearing in episode 25, “Spiders”:

We need people to focus on us. We need their attention. We need them to walk into our web so we can own them forever, drinking their lifetime value.

Unfortunately, “lifetime value” ends when their customers’ lives end. For now.

They now have their hands on the Instrumentalist’s books and Percy’s agreement to help. As I speculated in a previous post, I don’t trust BotCo (whether it’s Oswald, or LEM, or Faust) not to misuse the ability to trap their customer’s souls indefinitely and maximize their “lifetime value” for all it’s worth, especially if their customers trapped in individual pods aren’t reproducing and the number of new members from the outside is dwindling.

Coraline speaks for all of us listeners when she rejects even the premise of the Beldam’s promise: 

Coraline sighed. “You really don’t understand, do you?” She said. “I don’t want whatever I want. Nobody does. Not really. What kind of fun would it be if I just got everything I ever wanted? Just like that, and it didn’t mean anything. What then?”

“I don’t understand,” said the whispery voice.

“Of course you don’t understand,” she said, raising the stone with the hole in it to her eye. “You’re just a bad copy she made of the crazy old man upstairs.”

Lady Ethel seems more self-aware and ambitious than to believe everything she says about a life of perfect bliss being all one could ever want, but I’m curious about her perspective on whether the Prime Dream is something she believes in or if it’s simply something over which she has ownership and power. A question I’m wondering - is Lady Ethel a bad copy of the crazy old man upstairs, Mr. Botulism? What will her revolution look like when it comes, when she tries to make her claim for the throne?

[hello-from-the-night-archives]

hello from the hallowoods dashboard simulator

😈 valerie-meme-stone

I'm not ready for my spotify wrapped to just be stonemaiden. like i get it spotify i know i'm gay

53 notes

📝 the-poetry-panopticon Follow

Unfriendly reminder not to sign up for a Dreaming Box subscription! The Botulus Corporation is not to be trusted! Here's an article explaining the language in their contract and why it's concerning! In addtion, they use AI generated images in the Prime Dream, which we should all know by now is unethical.

14,034 notes

🥗 bisexualranchdressing Follow

dang this is crazy. i thought wildfire smoke was bad but what the fuck is this????

🌅 nerdy-tragedy-theorist Follow

well according to color theory

🌅 nerdy-tragedy-theorist Follow

never mind i've got nothing

739 notes

⚡ evil-electrician Follow

friendly reminder to stop spreading misinformation about the black water! people are saying that it brings people and animals back to life but that's not exactly true! although their body may be back, they're not the same person and they will likely become violent and dangerous. please stay inside and be really careful what you and your pets eat or drink.

🐈‍⬛ cats-not-capitalism Follow

fuck you op i'm keeping my undead cat

⚡ evil-electrician Follow

good luck keeping your fingers

48,230 notes

🐧 morally-grey-penguin Follow

1,383,248 notes

eccentricelina-deactivated04232030

i must not go to sleep in the lake today. afternoon nap is the mind killer

eccentricelina-deactivated04232030

mmmmmm cozy

eccentricelina-deactivated04232030

where is my skin

eccentricelina-deactivated04232030

going back to sleep honk shoooooo

635 notes

🌮 mysteriously-crafty-nacho Follow

reblog this post to go north with the person you reblogged this from

54,092 notes

🧊 botulus-corporation Follow

The Botulus Corporation is with you during this difficult time. Join our happy dreaming family where you and your loved ones will be safe from the rain. Tumblr users get 30% off on a Dreaming Box subscription!

🐨 chief-koala-typhoon Follow

73,932 notes

🌿 shiny-wolf-tragedy Follow

it fucken rainny

🐼 dreamland-panda Follow

love that they'll be a literal apocalyse and tumblr users will just make memes. never change tumblr

72,138 notes

👁️‍🗨️ the-magnus-brotocol

choosing between the irl amazing digital circus or probably fucking dying was not on my 2030 bingo card but okay

👁️‍🗨️ the-magnus-brotocol

at this point i just gotta expect that if the year is divisible by 10 then something terrible will happen

94 notes

🐺 werewolves-are-hot

hey do you think i can get a real werewolf boyfriend now that monsters are real

🐺 werewolves-are-hot

any cute werewolf boyfriends in this part of the woods

429 notes

🌷 pleasant-arcade-land

oh man it's been a couple months since I last updated this fanfic huh! so I just drank some black water by accident and now I have a few extra fingers, and honestly that took some getting used to, but it's actually pretty convenient now and is really helpign me get more words in lol im still here writing homestuck fanfic in 2030 hehehehehe anyway new chapter here

38 notes

🌑 the-void-whispers Follow

so, it looks like tumblr might be dying soon due to, well, *gestures wildly.* You'll have to kill me before I join Twitter now that the Botulus Corporation bought it (and no, I am not calling it B, that is just stupid) so if you want to hear from me you will simply need to look out for passenger pigeons. in the meantime, ill be here until tumblr straight up dies and i have a crying session about it

🦌 gamer-guy-bath-water Follow

we do not grieve ice when it melts, or celebrate the sapling when it rises from the soil. they just are. life and death and rebirth are one constant state. and without change, there would be nothing to watch

⚔️ sword-lesbian-enthusiast

add that to the list of banger quotes from tumblr memes

82,362 notes

[marvelousmawn]

"but how did nikignik kill marolmar?"

marolmar critter post

[oswin-remains]

@hellofromthehallowoods

peak romance is when you and your lover carve your initials in a heart on the new wooden arm that the love of your life created so you wouldn’t die

[hallowood-hcs]

i dont know if it was ever referenced that this might be canon but oh well. clem has a crush on danielle

can we have a clem fell first but danielle fell harder trope please

[gerrysbadlydyedhair]

it's always stormaiden hours around here

_______________________________________

@hellofromthehallowoods

[livormaurice]

I am very sad about Riot’s death and I am by no means over it but the absolute funniest possible outcome of this that I can think of is everyone finding her body and in trying to wake it up do so without her spirit and accidentally create a third Riot. They’d have to start a support group for Riot doppelgängers.

[pixels-art-stuff]

Jonah Duckworth.

Hello from the Hallowoods has become one of my comfort shows. I get to fall asleep listening to the horrors of marketing campaings and the soothing tragedies of an ending world...

The only problem falling asleep listening to it is that I loose track of characters, so I will try to sketch them to remember them better.

It's also a great opportunity to draw loads of old people (wich I adore.)

[hallowoods-art]

My first Hallo from the Hallowoods painting !! Its inspired by the scene where Diggory and Percy dance together under the lake. In my opinion thats the most romantic scene to ever exist !!

[sturmdunkel]

my mind is full of splinters, thought riot

this part from boxes has been on my mind since i first listened to it and i blame @hellofromthehallowoods for it

[clovergrass00]

[HftHW ep 87 spoilers]

I don’t trust Mr. Botulism telling Percy all he wants is to do with The Instrumentalist’s work is reanimate his son. For several reasons:

1- seems like an easy trope, “the big bad only actually cares about his kid”. I feel like the Instrumentalist tried pulling that card too

2- Oswald is asking for the power to give people essentially eternal “life”. Sure, maybe he claims to only want to use it once, but that’s an ENTIRE can of worms, and if he doesn’t use it for ill then certainly someone else will (*cough cough* Lady Ethel, maybe even Anderson, etc.)

3- BotCo never shuts up about “lifetime value” (which has always been creepy af). If they can hold onto their customers even past death???? Keep squeezing value out of them?? They will. The outside population is dwindling and sure Danielle was born in a dreaming box but tbh I’m confused about how often that is happening if at all. If they’re in separate boxes I don’t think any future pregnancies are happening. I’m surprised it’s never come up that BotCo is concerned about their customer base slowly dying off but if they’re not about to start forcing births (or growing new costumers in a lab, come to think of it), I can see this being a priority initiative

[deadguydeathmatch]

Dead Guy Death Match Quarterfinals Poll: 2

[frommybedroom]

i would die for moth scarberry. idc what moth may have done to moth’s father. i support moth’s rights AND moth’s wrongs.