#hi phyl

[tearoby]

I love windows

[downtowncannibal]

I hate that I don't show Chris any appreciation I just have no clue what to say about him

[slicznymartwy]

billy lenz x gn!reader (established)

when billy finally gets caught by your housemates. notes: just something short i wanted to write for billy hehe. stand alone blurb with some reference to nsfw but nothing explicit. kind of stupid and mostly for myself <33

Billy closes the door behind himself with a soft click. You feel a bit like Pavlov’s dog when you sit up, eyes finding his shadowy figure easily despite the complete lack of light. There was no moon or stars in the sky, only rolling black clouds that came in the afternoon and threatened to ruin the entire weekend.

He stands still until you smile at him, settling back against your headboard as you watch each other. 

You don’t need to talk. You know why he’s here, and he knows what he can take from you. He waits until you gesture him to come closer, and he takes uneven steps towards your bed like he’s walking on a rocking boat. 

He kisses you like he loves you, and you can forget that he lives in your attic for a little while.

In the morning, you can feel Billy sleeping beside you. Opening your eyes, you can see his mess of frizzy hair against your silk pillows, a strange sight that you realize you’ve never really seen before. He’s usually long gone before you open your eyes, his side of the bed messy but cool, like he was just a ghost visiting you in the night.

You glance out your window to make sense of the time - it’s a grey and cloudy morning, and with a start, you shoot your head to look at the clock on your bedside. Finally recognizing the sound of your housemates from downstairs, you realize it’s nearly noon. It wasn’t uncommon for you to leave your alarm off on a Saturday morning, but you’ve never slept in this late, especially not with your secret visitor.

You shake Billy awake, but he pushes your arm away with a muffled sigh. He nuzzles deeper into your pillows and, feeling panicked and annoyed, you poke between his ribs. Billy squawks and smacks your arm in response, which you gasp at. You hold your arm in pain as you sit up.

“Wake up,” you hiss. “You need to go.”

Billy puts your comforter over his head and ignores you. Sighing, you can’t help but feel sorry for Billy. You know he hasn’t slept on a real bed for months now, so you couldn’t really fault him for wanting to stay put on such a gloomy morning. It doesn’t change the fact that he needs to make himself scarce, and quickly. 

Apologetically, you rub where you think his arm is under the comforter. 

“It’s morning, Billy. Someone’s gonna see you.”

You can hear Billy sigh as he starts to really wake up, finally understanding why you were so persistent. He sits up, letting the comforter fall off his naked torso, and rubs his eyes before looking out at the crummy weather.

“I’ll walk you to the attic,” you tell him, getting up from your bed and searching for your clothes. You can feel Billy’s eyes on you before he does the same, pulling on his jeans and sweater without wasting any more time.

He meets you at your bedroom door, and you pause a moment to fix his hair; it stands in a million different directions after what you two got up to the night before. As you comb it with your fingers, he scowls and tries to duck his head down. It doesn’t matter anyway, you’ll get him back to the attic before anyone can see him. 

You leave first, looking up and down the hall before creeping towards the attic entrance by the top of the stairs. With the coast clear, you gesture him to follow and he does, his steps quieter than your own. 

You’re almost there when someone suddenly runs up the stairs. You both look to each other, panicked. Billy looks between your room and the attic, but neither is close enough for him to escape to without getting caught. You share one final frenzied look at each other just as Phyllis comes face to face with the two of you. She freezes on the top landing and stares at the man. 

“Morning,” you say, with a strained smile. You stand in front of Billy, who you’re sure is staring wide eyed at Phyl given her concerned expression. 

“Morning,” she says slowly. “Who’s this?”

You look up at Billy like you hadn’t realized he was with you. Sure enough, his expression is haunting as he gawks at your housemate.

“Oh! This is… a friend. From the chemistry department,” you say. 

“A friend,” she repeats, giving you an unimpressed look. 

“We were studying,” you say. 

“Uh huh.” She looks at Billy. “What’s your name?”

Billy doesn’t answer. 

“He doesn’t talk much.” You wince, grabbing a hold of his arm. “He’s gotta get going. Busy day.”

“I bet,” Phyl says, watching you both try to sidestep her down the stairs. You make it to the foyer, even with Billy dragging his heels a little bit once he realizes he’ll have to go outside.

Luck isn’t on yours or Billy’s side, as Barb catches you both next, leaning against the doorway to the living room.

“So, this is the mystery man we’ve been pretending not to hear all night,” she teases, arms crossing over her chest. Billy stares at her like he stared at Phyl and you sigh. 

Putting your hand on his arm to fruitlessly try to get his attention, you tell her, “He’s just leaving.” 

“Why? He can stay for lunch,” she offers, but you know better than to take it as selfless kindness.

“I don’t think so,” you say, as you start to pull Billy towards the door. You take your scarf hanging from the coat rack and wrap it around his neck and then place an umbrella in his hand. He tears his gaze away from Barb for long enough to look at the umbrella with disdain. 

“Sorry,” you say to him quietly. You kiss the corner of his mouth, and his eyes return to their wide surprised look. You smile at him apologetically before opening the door and throwing him out to the rain. 

“Brutal,” Barb comments. Watching his shadow through the stained glass.

“He’s busy. He’s from the chemistry department,” you continue the lie. 

“Oh, I bet there’s a lot of chemistry going on between the two of you,” she smirks. 

Outside, Billy struggles with the umbrella, cursing every slut he’s ever seen and met.

© slicznymartwy 2023, please do not repost or copy.

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Fics Written in 2020 (2) Masterlist

part one

a different side of me (ao3) - dizzy

Summary: Dan's early 2010 struggle with his home life, his future, and how Phil fits into everything.

A whale of a time - (ao3) - lazyphannie

Summary: Dan's horny and Phil's still sleeping.

Advent Calendar 2020 (ao3) - Phantje

Summary: Dan is a single father to his son Mes. When Mes does not go to Dan's best friend Meggie's nursery, he tags along to Dan's photography studio. With Mes, the studio, and his film-review-blog, Dan is certainly busy, and yet finds time to be a little lonely - he is skilled like that. Dan's life seems to suddenly start spinning when he rescues a client from a malicious photo booth.

Phil is the co-founder of the IRL store, but wants to start working to meet new people and to fill his days. That has nothing to do whatsoever with him pining after the mysterious blogger, and he isn't even really all that lonely, actually.

Phil starts working at a nursery, makes a new friend, and gets more than he bargained for in falling in love with the photographer.

All Signs Point to Us (ao3) - RyRyCaptain

Summary: When the queen and king gives birth to Daniel, they soon learn that their son is deaf. In order to let Dan express his opinions to those who haven't learned sign language, they find him a translator who happens to be the son of the King’s advisor, Phil. Soon enough, Phil starts to realize thAt he fallen in love with the younger boy.

All We Seem to Do Is Talk About Sex (ao3) - truerequitedlove

Summary: In which Dan’s got a boyfriend and a tongue piercing, and Phil’s got a weed hookup and an anxiety disorder. In high school, they were labeled “bad influences on each other,” maybe that would never go away.

Arrangements (ao3) - intoapuddle

Summary: One night stands have worn out their welcome, but Dan isn't ready for a relationship. Thankfully, other arrangements can be made.

attachment (ao3) - dnovep

Summary: Harlow’s monkey experiments, love, & Phil wrapping Dan in blankets.

baby can't you see? (i'm calling) (ao3) - danfanciesphil (thejigsawtimess)

Summary: Two years after Dan's ill-advised stint up a mountain, and Phil's escape from a Royal psychopath, their dramatic flying off into the horizon hasn't had such a steady landing. Phil is consumed by his new venture in giving back to the world, but Dan is receiving none of this graciousness. Their living situation remains unstable, and they're barely in the same room long enough to hold hands.

It's all about to break apart, when the pandemic hits them where it hurts. Once again, Dan and Phil find themselves thrown into isolation with one another, back up where it all began. The memories of The Secret of the Alps are both fond and traumatic; being there again, trapped and in a bitter feud, is worryingly familiar. Can they make it out together a second time around? Or is this cycle doomed to repeat itself forever, until one of them calls it quits?

(TW) Break Me (ao3) - MySecretsX

Summary: In this world, you're marked with black. That's if you have a soulmate at least. Everyone is destined to cross paths with the one who is meant for them, at least once in their lives.

When you and your soulmate meet, you will touch, if only briefly, and the exact area of skin you touch with the other turns from black to white, with streaks of blue, purple, yellow, all marbled in with each other.

Daniel Howell is well-known in town. People cross the street if they're approaching him and newcomers to the neighbourhood are warned about his presence. Exactly like the Lester's were. But Phil Lester has other ideas, he saw the pain within the boy, how bad can he really be?

chaos in bloom (ao3) - vvelna

Summary: The adventures of Dan and Phyl, ghost removal experts.

closer than before (ao3) - graydar

Summary: Maybe he’ll just take this one chance. It might be fun, might be something to do, might be more than that. He’s fine with not knowing. All anyone is doing right now is not knowing. It’s the new trend.

Cold, Empty Mattresses and Falling Stars (ao3) - conshellation

Summary: 2009 au where phil and his family own a campground/cabins in an area that is known for stargazing and phil has lived his entire life there, therefore knowing a lot about stars. dan and his family come from the city to said campground because dan is a nerd and asked to come there for his birthday.

Covet (ao3) - americanphancakes

Summary: The only thing making Dan feel alive is his all-consuming crush on the new deacon.

Crossing the line (ao3) - dakogutin

Summary: After billionaire Phil Lester meets an unfortunate incident that ends him up in hospital with no memories, Dan Howell— a mistreated employee convinces Phil that he is Dan's working-class husband to get back at him with the many hardships he faced as an employee. What could go wrong?

Dead! (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Phil is a zombie living in the abandoned Luton airport, Dan is a human survivor. Bound together by the fear of what hides in the dark, they choose not to kill each other, and begin the long journey to Manchester and (hopefully) to new colonies

doppelt. (ao3) - schnaf

Summary: The big wheel in Manchester. The big wheel in another Manchester. Phil's disappearance. Finding Phil - twice. Dealing with Doppelgängers. That's not exactly what Dan expected from their first meeting. But in the end, being with Phil is all that matters.

for the first time in such a long time (I know I'll be okay) (ao3) - possumdnp

Summary: Three conversations in Phil’s bedroom in 2009.

grind to the rhythm (as we wine and dine) (ao3) - kishere

Summary: God, everyone was going to think him a harlot, Phil thought as they walked out of the maze in silence. Being left alone with an alpha he wasn’t mated to was cause for gossip.

Hot As Hell (ao3) - Spring_Haze

Summary: Dan and Phil take advantage of a few minutes of unexpected privacy while in a dry sauna. Phil can't resist his boyfriend on account of his well-established sweat kink.

I Will Be Loving You (ao3) - phantasticworks (steddieworks)

Summary: Dan and Phil spend their first Valentine's Day out of the closet.

it's a church of burnt romances (ao3) - phanetixs

Summary: Dan backs into the car and the driver asks where he’s heading. His head swims with thoughts of Phil, and of guilt and embarrassment at how he’s subconsciously treating his friend. Whose life centres around virtues like chastity. And non-objectification goes both ways. Dan takes a few deep breaths, pressing a palm to his insistent bulge to quell his arousal. As always, it doesn’t work.

Well, he resolves, if he can’t get Phil out of his head, he’s got to get someone else into it. Or onto him, preferably.

Or, a Fleabag AU.

Lonely in Conflict, Cast as a Convict (ao3) - andthenshesaid-write (ladyknight1512)

Summary: Dan is a vampire who can’t remember how it feels not to be lonely. Phil is a vampire hunter living in his brother’s shadow.

When they meet, they find acceptance in each other that they don’t find anywhere else, but there are secrets and other forces at play trying to keep them apart.

married at first sight (ao3) - nothingbutniall

Summary: Dan and Phil get matched together on the new season of Married At First Sight.

Midnight Garden (ao3) - silentdescant

Summary: In which Phil is a gardener at the palace and Dan is a reclusive prince.

Mirror Mirror (ao3) - dont-tell-them-i-write-phan (QueenJunoTheGreat)

Summary: Dan and Phil get invited to stay at a historical castle with Martyn and Cornelia. Contrariwise, Daniel and Philip aren’t invited anywhere, but not many people can say no to a highly trained thief and a dragon. But that’s totally unrelated

My Spirit Love (ao3) - MySecretsX

Summary: If you fall in love with a spirit who drains you both away, do you live together for twenty years, or stay alone each day?

Phil has lived in his house since he was born, but it was when he turned seven he met Dan for the first time. It's all childish games and the muse of a naïve brain until your fifteen-year-old son claims to have fallen in love with the boy you've never seen.

Is anything possible for love?

oh you got me shaking (ao3) - chickenfree

Summary: Usually if the models talk to him, it’s just – them asking questions, Phil joking about how he doesn’t really know what he’s doing, even as he directs them.

They don’t try to argue with him, usually.

One Thousand Midnights or More (ao3) - JudeAraya

Summary: A decade of love told in moments.

Our House (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: Enemy is a harsh word. Rival sounds so immature, like Dan’s the star of some teen drama on Netflix. Competition is close, but not quite there.

In simple terms, Dan has a distaste for Phil Lester. Otherwise known as AmazingPhil in their line of business, for some reason that’s beyond Dan. What makes him so amazing anyway?

There’s a reason the network wanted Daniel Howell and Phil Lester for this specific series, and Dan guesses there’s really only one way to find out that answer.

or

And they were co-hosts. Oh my god they were co-hosts.

pastry chef attempts to steal phil's heart (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: If anyone asks, Prince Philip's sneaky morning journeys down to the royal pastry kitchen are for nothing more than the perfect cup of coffee.

The Secluded Glade (ao3) - palomeheart

Summary: Phil Lester has always been acutely aware of the ways he and his daemon Adra are different from others. Namely that Adra is male, hasn’t settled yet, and they share second sight that causes them to have dreams that show them glimpses of the future. Now, as a consequence of one of his prophetic dreams, he’s forced to go on a rescue mission to find a group of children that have gone missing from his town. He may have signed up for more than he bargained for, however, when they find another man who’s been captured with some differences of his own.

The Wanting Comes In Waves (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: After moving to the tiny Welsh coastal village of Rhagfyr, Phil struggles to find a new way of living, what with his new school and the decision of his future still on the table. Dan is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma, but perhaps there’s beauty inside destruction.

they grew up so nicely, didn't they? (ao3) - natigail

Summary: Cornelia doesn’t just get a boyfriend when she starts dating Martyn, she gets a whole second family too. Kath and Nigel welcome her with open arms and she becomes a pseudo older sister to Phil.

She is there watching from the sidelines as a boy bolts right into Phil’s heart and sets up camp. She gets to watch as Dan and Phil build careers and an internet community and all the trials and tribulations, as well as the pride and happiness, it brings along.

When the Weather Breaks (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: Sitting across from Phil on that worn out velvet Starbucks sofa, sharing sickeningly sweet coffees and what they would like to think were hushed giggles, was the first time Dan felt a glimpse at what real love could feel like.

or

Perception checks, pining, and peppermint mochas.

with a bullet (ao3) - waveydnp

Summary: phil returns to his room after a party thrown by his housemates only to discover that there’s already someone in his bed

[70svampyr]

Watch Yourself

Pt.1 because I've been postponing this for so long that my reins of patience have finally snapped. Not much action in this part, except Billy's usual erratic behavior through the phone. Also mentioned a bit of Phyl in this because my girl deserves some love and I barely see her brought up.

WARNINGS! brief sexual language, creepy behavior, pills (I don't know if this should be a warning but I've seen people put it as such before so just in case), alcohol usage, gn! reader (rather they are just visiting the girls at the sorority or living there with them is up to interpretation.) 3k+ words.

edit: rereading this, I just realized I accidentally referred to the reader as "she" once. SO SORRY about that, I fixed the mistake to a proper pronoun! hopefully, that's all...don't be afraid to comment if you see another mistake and I'll gladly fix it.

Dread eased its way into the Pi Kappa Sigma sorority, a withered mask of weariness placed on top of the resident's exterior solid. A thick layer of frost encased the foundation of the estate and left a bitter imprint on the once nicely-looking establishment, marking its new territory. The harsh winters of Canada had made their appearance and took the drudgery to add another list of trepidations for the poor tenants that shook with the blistering winds. Batters of snow stacked on top of rooftops and devoured the driveways with its sharp canines, regaling the trees and encompassing the streets. The entire calamity resembled a rotting carcass, shaken to the bone and having premature icicles wilting from the milky muscles. The sorority girls of Pi Kappa Sigma, including you, felt like just on the edge of the cliff between falling to your demise and dulling the blades of the rock as it dug itself into your skin, illustrating your now lifeless body a pretty crimson-red; Flesh and bones becoming frozen on the shore from the vicious winter. Unless someone else does it first, saving you from this misery. Doubtfully so.

"Maybe he won't even call. The pervert's likely too busy with this harsh snowstorm as much as we are. He'll probably be shoveling up the snow off of his driveway so much to even consider calling us."

Phyl had been trying her best to lighten up the mood that had been drizzled with despondency and wariness. Not even an hour prior Barb had brought up the heinousness of it all and the talk of their little "prank caller" they'd been receiving for the past two months had slinked into the conversation. This had brought the girl's temper down at a frightening rate, now just recalling back to the ghastly phone calls this same man would initiate. They were sickening and perverted. It was the same damn thing every ring; him conversing about his carnal desire to plow his tongue in their nether regions and begging for his dick to be sucked─in summary. Profane rackets would be added to the mixture, not to mention pig sound reenactments and simply downright awful moans that none of the girls enjoyed. The vulgar phone calls had quickly become frequent, so the girls (more like Barb) had materialized up with the name "The Moaner" as an alias for their... unique guest.

The epithet fit, regarding how much he loves to moan into the receiver like he was deprived of it for all his life. So "The Moaner" stuck like honey. Except it wasn't sweet like honey, nor like chocolate or surgery sprite; something that you'd constantly want overlaying the base of your tongue and sizzling. It was more like the taste of copper, a taste seeping in between your teeth after biting down on your lip too harshly and letting the crimson liquid stain the skin of your chin and continue to rise back to the surface as you licked up the blood. It's not terrible the first time, sinking your teeth into the flesh of your lip, but overdo it and the metallic of it all begins to fester inside you, and all of a sudden it doesn't taste so tolerable.

Jess had circled the kitchen countertop to stand beside you while giving Phyl a kind, but dubious smile. "I don't know, Phyl. What if he doesn't even live in Toronto? Or Canada as a whole? He might live somewhere else, like Texas. It never snows up there." The proclamation coasted over the bungalow in a pristine bleak ambiance, eyes all equally passing back and forth towards each other, similar thoughts in each girl's mind, like a radio detector. You noticed the apparitions that now spelled the room, looming with a dark force, Jess's face lengthening into a hangdog right beside you. You began to feel guilty for not stepping up to Phyl's endeavor in a fresh atmosphere, but before you could even get a word out to arouse some kind of fresh air, the loud wail of the phone castigated your opportunity and brought an even gloomier vicinity.

"How fortunate." Barb sarcastically remarked as she carried another sip of her brandy. The acerbic beverage was just as broiling plummeting down her throat as the phone's ringing, everyone in the room knowing well who it could be. Not a soul dared to move across the space, too afraid and frankly too tired to handle what was on the other side. Regardless the ringing just kept going, until the noise finally got too pricking for you. Biting your tongue, you swerved the kitchen countertop and roughly picked up the plastic cable from its handset. "Hello?" Your voice was firm, yet just by reading between the lines, the habitue could easily tell how tentative you stood. You swiped the sweat off your brow as you anxiously waited for an answer, bouncing off of one leg and scratching the back of it with the other. Silence hovered above the outlying sound of static, your heavy breathing rolling as the singular proof of vitality. No one said a word, as if a ghost picked up the phone. "Uh- Hello?─"

"Just hang up, [Name]. It's probably him just fucking with you." Barb's resonant and hoarse voice scratched at you with its sharp claws from across where you stood; swaying back and forth for it was a habit of yours when the vines of impatience came creeping up higher and higher. Uneasiness too. You mulled over the brunette's words while still supporting the phone hooked to your ear, regarding the possibility that whoever was on the other line would finally gain the courage to speak. But as some more seconds passed and the sound of droning pervaded your ear, you let out a low sigh and lowered the phone. "Maybe it was the wrong number─?" Yet, whenever Clare's soft voice peeked up, the shrill of the phone echoed throughout the room once again. Not a ghost; If it was, it was a very teasing one. "That quick? Wow, he must be excited. Well go on, let's give this guy what he wants." Barb sat up from her place─, sprawled out onto the couch, holding a cup of brandy in one hand and a lit cigarette in the other, ─and stumbled toward the phone with a tremble in her step. However before she could reach out for the crying device, you gently placed a hand on top of her chest and slightly pushed her away, shaking your head in a rejecting manner. You could see the look in her eyes, the underlying drunkness too clear not to notice. She was obviously intoxicated; It was best to leave Satan lingering at the door rather than have your inebriated friend piss him off and set the house ablaze. "No, Barb, you're too drunk to deal with him. Let's just all head to bed and call it a day. We don't need to end it on a much more terrible note than it already has."

Barb only scoffed at your proclamation, swatting your hand away from her dress shirt as if the touch scorned her, taking another gulp of her beverage like her very life depended on it. "I'm not that drunk! I can handle the son of the bitch! Plus, he's only gonna keep calling us until one of us picks up the phone. We might as well get over it." She eyed you like a piranha ready to forage, spitting out the words with fire. Nevertheless, you simply stood taller and kept your feet planted on the ground. "You're only gonna spur him on and add fuel to the crossfire. Trust me, the last thing we need is to piss him off, we don't know what kind of person he is. Now, go to bed. I mean it." Your words hung over the two of you in an icy blaze, and if it weren't for Jess coming up to rest a solacing hand on Barb's shoulder and tell her "they're right, we should go to bed", you would've been having to deal with Barb's violent episodes, certainly gaining a few bruises and a busted lip. With a coerced sigh, the brunette began walking up the stairs, before halting abruptly and twisting her body to face yours, a grim expression plastered on her complexion. "When he calls again, and again, and again until it drives the whole house crazy, you're gonna be the one picking it up." And with that, she went to bed.

Exhausted sighs washed over the tenancy room in sync the instant Barb's door slammed shut behind her. You silently thanked the divinities above for the tight-lipped exchange of agreement that was masked over with a dreary exhale. A low yawn from Clare broke the brief stillness and placed a cheeky smile on her pale face, slightly flushed from the cold. "I think I'm gonna head to bed as well. This day has drained me of dignity." Her candied-laced voice brought a few nods in understanding, a hushed giggle from Phyl, and numerous eyes tracing her figure spiraling up the staircase and to her coffin. Clare's retreat seemed to construct a rolling dice match; once she entered her bedroom, Jess had bid her good nights as well, then Phyl followed suit, until only you stood in the kitchen space, wide awake with the underlying fatigue. But you knew you wouldn't be able to fall asleep just yet, so you stayed put. You watched Phyl track up the carpeted stairs before she suddenly turned around to face you. "Thanks for that─ you know, with Barb and all. I'm sorry she can be such a priss, but you know she would feel extremely guilty for hurting you. Anyways, good night- Oh! And try not to stay up too late. Remember to take your pills once─"

"I know, I know! I've got the drill memorized Phyl, you don't have to remind me." You waved your hands in exaggeration as you earnestly attempted to shoo the curly-haired girl away. "Plus, I know Barb would never consciously hurt me, but hey, she can throw a few good punches." you couldn't stop a laugh from slipping out, Phyl chuckling along with you. "Now go get some sleep. You need it more than me." All she gave you in retort to that was a vacillating smile, before trotting upstairs and entering her room, gaining her once solitariness. You monitored her with a similar grin on your complexion. You cherished Phyl and all of the other sorority sisters as if they were your own blood, even Barb who was an alcoholic, but you didn't need them plaguing you like pigeons swarming a clutter of scattered peanut kernels. It wore you, as much as you didn't like to admit it; you needed your space as much as they needed theirs. And that came with being able to memorize when to take your zaleplon.

The resonate of stillness leaped off the walls with an eerie calmness to it, the distant racket of something ricocheting up in the attic remaining as the only noise to materialize. You brushed it off for the rats scurrying inside the house; it's become a recent convulsion that you quickly learned to overlook. Your eyes trace towards the stack of dirty dishes that sat In the equally dirty sink, its essence taunting you in a way that screamed for help. A wave of grimace washed over you at the tainted scenery, complying with the demands it spoke without a lip to invoke it. You made sharp work of rolling up the sleeves of your top and wrenching on the faucet, letting the water get poaching hot underneath your fingertips, and seizing a bottle of dish soap out from underneath the sink. An odd notion crept in the back of your head, recalling back to the sicko that had a guilty pleasure in harassing the sorority's phone line.

'I wonder if he "enjoys" washing the dishes as much as I do.'

─

The cognate clock on the paint-peeled wall ticked within your work time, a grating reminder and alarm of how vastly time passed as you set out your responsibilities. The snow had not lessened throughout clattering dishes and rinsing dish soap, preferably amassing up more and concocting an upheaval for the impending sunrise. You hummed to a jolly Christmas tune ─although couldn't fathom remembering what exact song, ─ with a newfound sense of clarity that shimmered in front of you like a dazzling star as you scrubbed at your last plate. Once you had turned off the sink and positioned the now soaking-wet ceramic on the laid-out kitchen towel, the sound of the phone going off brought a startled yelp out of you, the shrieking noise slicing through the air with its sharp, tantalizing knife, narrowly missing the flesh of your skin. 'Jesus fuck.' you grasped onto the cotton above your beating heart like a sheathing barrier, withholding a glare aimed at the maneuvering device that jerked in its handset with deduction. It looked as if the caller was desperate for you to pick up, screeching how badly they wanted to hear your voice throughout the receiver, hear it bark at them with such resentment that rippled a burning crackle of fire downwards. And maybe they did. Perhaps that was what lied behind the harmless gadget. However, that was unbeknownst to you.

Throwing the paper towel you were utilizing to dry your hands off on top of the marble counter, you trudged toward the screaming telephone and harshly picked it up, silencing the ring and lifting it to the front of your ear. "Hello?" You had said for the second time that night, uneasiness already seeping its way through the crevices of your bones and aligning your insides, Its long, twig-like arms enveloping themselves around your heart and squeezing it like a vice. At first, nothing. Just the sound of static and what you could make out as a subtle shuffle, but no words. "Hello? Who is this?" attempting at your voice again, you immediately were greeted with (dare you say, very realistic) reenactments of pig snorts. "He─"

"Pretty piggy! Pretty, pretty piggy!"

Your speech was interrupted by a voice that resembled a mix of nails on a chalkboard, and a busted windshield with cracks spiraling across the glass. "Oh. It's you again." was all you were able to muster up, clear annoyance laced with your words, before the male switched to making slurping noises like a light switch. "Let me liii ick it! Lick your pretty, pink─" Vulgurties already began to spew their way out of his mouth, the carnality and the pictorial of it all reaching towards you with its repulsive tongue, driving you to impulsively back away from the phone. It didn't take long for the caller to bring in his roundabouts of elaborating on his horniness and bragging about his dick, the slurping noises only obtaining louder and more explicit that you could virtually feel his spittle through the receiver. 'Gross fuck.' was all that you ruled to think during the esprit of the phone call. You could only handle so much until the wires snapped and you finally had your fill. "Listen, I hate to break it to 'ya, but these phone calls of yours are getting old. If you want to keep calling, be my guest, but at least change up the act. We're all sick and tired of your crap, and we could give less than two shits about how big your dick is. So either stop calling or makeup something new." you couldn't help yourself from snapping; the act was growing old, and the troubling frigid weather that you already had to deal with had given you a bit of a push. You didn't hesitate to hang up the phone.

Yet, of course, that didn't seem to be enough to scare off the male, as the ringing merely came for the umpteenth time, not even letting a second pass after you had abandoned the prior call. "Jesus Christ...What?!" you practically screeched into the receiver, fed up and exhausted for the night, your cup overflowing with crises. A resonate of giggles greeted you not-so-warmly, a vein beginning to appear on your forehead as you rubbed at your nasal. "M-Mommy's mad...real mad..." the male murmured between giggles, his luny cheerfulness bubbling up back to the surface, the rest of his insanity tied together in a swirl of madness. "G-Gonna...H-Have to punish...Discipline! You have to learn to discipline, Billy! Or else the baby will never learn! Learn from your mistakes! Mistakes, mistakes, MISTAKES!" The voices used seemed to alternate between a thunder of an angry older male and a younger one, paralleling a conversation between father and son.

"Punish pretty piggy...yes...punish, punish, punish, punish─"

You rolled your eyes to cover up the growing uncomfortableness, sensing the male's delirium within his odd speech. Responding with a familiar bite, you pressed the phone closer toward the flesh of your ear. "So you still live with your mother? I can't say I'm surprised. And I think I'm gonna have to pass on being 'punished'." All he did in response was laugh. Laugh after laugh after laugh, until he finally cracked and never stopped, even for a minute.

Amid his ongoing fit, you suddenly recalled that you still needed to take your pills. Placing the phone on top of the table it was residing at, face-up, you strolled towards the kitchen and opened up one of the cupboards, taking out two tablets from their dwelling and setting them aside on the marble counter, all while the faint sound of deranged laughter sufficed the room. 'What the hell is this maniac laughing about?' you pondered while you fetched your mug of water and swallowed down the tablets smoothly. Even once you crawled back to the telephone, what sounded like shattering windshields did not subside.

"What? You got a joke to tell me? You better make it quick then, I doubt your mom will appreciate you staying up this late, harassing a sorority house for that matter." the words slipped from your lips before you could even lasso them back in, and immediately, the male halted his antics. An uncanny silence poised over you for the third time that night as you gulped down nothingness, omitting your growing anxiousness. The pang of regret was already beginning to web around you, its spidery legs creeping all over your body as you waited patiently. 'Did I piss him off? Did I royally fuck up?'

You almost jumped as a normal voice spoke close to the receiver.

"I'm going to kill you." prevailed as the final thing you heard before the line went dead in your clutch, a sudden waft of chilliness sawing through you.

'What the fuck.'

Tentatively, you placed the phone back down in its respective compartment─hopefully for the last time that night─and paced two steps back from its plateau. His words dispersed inside your brain as you tried to collect your bearings, the frost-bite tone he held swelling louder and louder, drumming against your skull. A shaky sigh managed to escape your lips as you gathered yourself, mentally face-palming. "Stupid, he just said that to scare you. No need to be so worked up." you softly muttered as you glared daggers toward the plastic cable. With a final scoff, you stomped towards the light switch connected to the kitchen and flicked it off, allowing yourself to be bathed in darkness and take on whatever is obscuring among it. A yawn almost instantly evaded you afterward, feeling your exhaustion take its final bows. Not even bothering to take one last finalized glance at the house, you ambled up the carpeted staircase and made your way across your enclosure, not distinguishing the hazel-green eyes boring into the back of your head, pissed off and blood lust surfacing.

tearing my hair out, this took so fucking long and it's only pt.1. I know this might've been a little boring, but I swear the next part will actually have some mind-fucking because I believe billy would enjoy that type of torture. take this as a sample of me trying to get better at my writing. -cora

[mercurygray]

Hiya Merc, could I please request 42. "A ticking wristwatch" and/or 47. "Singing badly as loud as you can" for Phyl, if it vibes? Thank you <3 — @shoshiwrites

Thanks for the prompt, Sho!

Phyl McCray was one of my Blind Dates from 2021 and while she somehow manages to migrate to the Ramsbury airfield later in 1943, I think this may do as a tiny bit of backstory for her.

She really wasn’t here for the beer.

Phyl stared at the glass currently sitting on the table in front of her, bubbles slowly rising through the amber, and the now stumpy cigarette wisping smoke from the ashtray. She wasn’t really a smoker herself - lighting it had given her something to do with her hands, and there was something about the smell that felt vaguely comforting, just as having the glass of beer in front of her was vaguely comforting, too. A group of Irish laborers on the other side of the bar were talking very loudly about some point of contention from the worksite today, wrapped up in their own world while a group of farmers, regulars here since time immemorial, glanced at them suspiciously over their beers and quietly discussed the weather and the state of this year’s herd. The barmaid, Lil, was working her way around the room with a rag, picking up empty glasses and coasters and wiping down tables as she went, her occasional laughter adding a small bit of sparkle to the scene.

Better than being able to hear my watch, anyway.

She knew she had a shift tomorrow, early, and probably should have been in bed getting some sleep, but that had been elusive, the last few weeks, and silence did not seem particularly restorative. Noise, that was what she wanted now, more than anything. Sound and fury, signifying nothing.

There was a flash of RAF blue, out of the corner of her eye, and a voice that was definitely not from Norfolk offering, in a rather polished tenor - “Fair Phyllis I saw sitting all alone, feeding her flock near to the mountainside.”

Phyl looked up and tried not to look too annoyed with the singer. Posh bastard - I’m sure he’s been trying to use that for ages. “Hello, Bryan. Doug not with you today?”

“Had a spot of bother at the base and sent me on ahead to get some seats,” the officer said, a mug of beer in each hand. “The Americans were due in today and they turned up late. Rather on form.”

“We have taken down the street signs, Bryan. Perhaps they got lost.”

He smiled.“If that’s the case, they’ll have a hard time finding Germany to bomb it. No streetsigns in the sky.” Obviously he thought the joke was funny - Phyl was having a hard time laughing. “Are you here alone?”

Do you think I’d admit to it if I was?

“Only asking if I could perhaps borrow your table,” Bryan went on. “I can offer an introduction, as an inducement. They have brought with them their colonel, one of their executive officers, and a young lady who looks to be your opposite number - a lot of very canny questions about the tower. A lieutenant, if I read her right.”

“You are welcome to it,” Phyl gestured to the empty seats across and gathering up her handbag, knowing it would be silly to try and say no. Bryan gratefully put down his beers and went back to the bar for another round, a stunning show of largesse if ever there was one.

There was a noise at the door, and a crowd shuffled in - the Group Commander, and Doug Creighton with him, along with a couple of Americans - a peaky fellow who seemed to be a colonel, judging by the eagle on his collar, a young woman about her age, and the tallest American Phyl thought she’d ever seen in her life, sporting a smile that could only have originated on the other side of the Atlantic and a mustache that would not have been out of place in a Hollywood film.

“...whom you’ll want to know, of course, always good to be on good terms. Flight Lieutenant Anstead’s just gone on ahead to get us a table and some drinks. Oh, this is - hello, Sergeant, fancy seeing you.” Phyl rose sharply, snapping into a salute before the Group Commander could question her form. “Sergeant McCray is one of our control officers.”

“I was just leaving - helping Lieutenant Anstead save the table,” Phyl offered, rising from her seat and offering it to the other woman, who smiled gratefully and sat down.

“This place have a radio, or something? Music?” The tall one asked, looking around with the unencumbered attitude of an inquisitive giraffe in a china shop.

“The English are partial to singing, on occasion,” the Group Commander said with a benevolent smile. “Norfolk has a great folk tradition in that regard. Do you sing, Major?”

“Loudly and often,” the tall one said with a grin, a sentiment that did not seem to endear him to either of the officers with him.

Well, now I definitely know where to go if I want noise, Phyllis thought to herself.

[creepswrites]

RED CHRISTMAS (Interlude)

unfortunately for all of you i love writing for the red christmas universe so! here's a lil something because i really wanted to expand on the dancing in the kitchen scene but i wasn't sure how i wanted to write it at the time. i guess there is a bit of tension here? depends on how you want to look at it lmao

Billy Lenz + Jess Bradford

Summary: So she put her hands on Billy's shoulders, watching him flounder with what to do. A soft laugh and Jess was taking his wrists, putting them at her waist. Billy's terrified green eyes were incredibly endearing. "When's the last time you were around people?" She asked softly - equal part curious and placating.

Jess hummed along to the music playing from the boom box while she washed the dishes from breakfast. She was making a mental plan of her afternoon: call Dr Steven Fell, find Agnes, and go talk to her. Easier said than done, certainly, but a girl could hope.

She was interrupted by a presence behind her. She just smiled slightly. "Do you want to help? You can dry them, if you'd like."

Billy hovered behind her, watching over her shoulder as she worked. Gently, she felt fingers against her upper back and she clenched her jaw to avoid jolting. Last thing she needed was Billy freaking out on her. So, after no movement from the sorority's impromptu guest, she resumed her work and hummed along to the song. After a soft moment, she heard Billy hum to the song with her.

Jess let herself smile. "Do you like music?" Silence. "This is a mixtape Claire made for us for the party the other night. She's very passionate about her music."

Billy hummed once in acknowledgement. Jess paused, setting the dish down on the rack to dry. She turned to face Billy, momentarily overwhelmed by how tall he was. He was usually hunched over, but even then he was pretty tall. "Do you want to dance?" She asked with a chuckle.

A fearful look crossed the man's face as Jess took his hand, pulling him more into the center of the kitchen. Barb and Phyl had gone to shower and she was pretty sure Peter was watching television in the other room.

So she put her hands on Billy's shoulders, watching him flounder with what to do. A soft laugh and Jess was taking his wrists, putting them at her waist. Billy's terrified green eyes were incredibly endearing. "When's the last time you were around people?" She asked softly - equal part curious and placating.

Billy glanced at her, chewing on his dry, chapped lips. He gave a little shrug and Jess hummed as she swayed them to the soft music, listening to the drawl of Let It Snow filter through the tinny music player. Her dance partner's stilted movements made it a bit difficult but, as they went on, he seemed to relax into a more fluid motion.

Not good by any means, no, but he wasn't a breath away from a panic attack. Which was all Jess could hope for.

Slowly, Jess moved her hands up behind his neck and hooked her fingers. Billy jolted from the cold but adjusted quick. He made a hissing sound, like a cat. "Sorry," Jess giggled.

"Sorry." Billy mimicked softly.

Jess tilted her head to the side. "How did you learn to do voices like that?"

Billy blinked owlishly at her, worrying his bottom lip under his teeth. "Billy, go entertain yourself." He practically shrieked in a woman's unfamiliar voice. "Go on, get out of my sight!" Jess stopped swaying to cup his face. Billy flinched violently but he saw her eyes before he could pull away. "Ow." Billy said instinctually.

Jess frowned, looking him over. The soft music made the air around them feel floaty, the moment soft and hazy.

She remembered the photos of Billy's mugshot. The pictures of a young boy clinging to a bloody baby bundle and screaming at police who apprehended him. She remembered the photos, his face stained with blood and tear tracks as his world had come crashing down.

His face hadn't changed much. Lost its youthful softness a little and he looked far more exhausted. Jess couldn't even imagine how much he'd been through...

Billy looked between her eyes, his own darting about frantically. As though he were searching for something. Peter's voice cheering for a sports team tried to cut through the moment, making Billy hiss. "Nasty pig bitch..." He grumbled.

Jess laughed. "You're not wrong..."

Billy laughed, a breathless and nervous sound. He avoided Jess's eyes, staring at the floor. Jess let out a soft sigh. "Billy, were you the-"

"Long." His voice was soft. Billy's voice was low, panicked. "Long time."

Jess wracked her brain to figure out what he was talking about. "It's been a long time since you've been around people?"

Billy nodded once, swallowing.

She observed him for a moment before letting out a sigh, deciding fuck it and hugging him, adjusting his head so it was against her neck. She felt him tense up immediately but Jess soothed, running her fingers through his fluffy hair and humming. "I'm sorry. For- for whatever happened to you."

He was silent so she continued. "Do you," she swallowed, "do you miss her? Agnes?"

Billy pulled back violently, staring at her with wild eyes. A dark expression overtaking his features and making him look dangerous.

For a minute, Jess though he was going to kill her.

But then he crumpled, nodding as he began to cry.

That only worked to solidify Jess's plan to find Agnes. She nodded once and kissed the top of the taller man's head. "It's okay." Jess said softly as she let Billy hug her and cry.

She'd find Agnes. She had to. Billy wanted to see her and the least she could do was try to help this strange, unsettling yet broken man who had stumbled into their lives.

And, upstairs, a girl who had been tucked into bed began to stir...

[stormbreaker101]

oh gd that's so low res. imma try to transcribe

Hell's bells, we are having a mighty sporting time of it!

Hold fast, my intrepid fellow prank- smiths! We've merely nicked the mahogany of our japing chests.

If I may direct the incisive ogle of your beagle puss to the wriggling regency of rubber bugs, plastic parasites, squirming serpents, pliable pests, and every such order and phyls of creepy-crawlies!

Land sakes alive, we are cooking with petrol now!

In further exhibits we shall dwell on artifice useful to your exploits. Is your pappy's rod and reel handy? What about a bit of iron cord; it shouldn't prove elusive. Bring those writing rascals to life, and set the nerves of some old maid to the wreck of [Ecsperus?]!

Do you have a bothersome aunt who never seems troubled to find ways with your sunny afternoons? A broad, splintery fence - a bucket of whitewash, perhaps?

By gum [or gun?] you'll fix her wagon!

And what of that tawny gent who puts his lackadaisical lean near the [careaparilla? sarcaparilla??] font? You'll have that listless octoroon find the spring in his step just yet!

that. wow. ok thats dense. so much old timey shit. if anyone can help with the stuff im not certain of id love that lol.

what stuff i was able to decipehr i will absolutely be putting in my 'british old man cheat sheet'. @klaraflamez watch out, your characters are about to suffer a whole new wave of their favorite italian horse being incomprehensible 👍

[mypurpleriver]

Last round: - Phyl moved out - Oren and Xanya had birthday - Xanya, Pixie and Quorra are adorable teenagers - Oren wins a cooking contest - Norman got two promotions and needs only one more for to reach his LTW :3

ROS: Plant a garden [✓]

[fantasy-nerdddd]

Names for the adults

I saw a fanart of some of the D12 adults when they were young so I decided to make for each of them two pairs of names; one with meaning, one without much. The order is: Mrs Everdeen, Mr Everdeen, Mrs Mellark, Mr Mellark, Mrs. Undersee (Maysilee's twin)

Naomi, Fern (the guys are the reason their kids got the names they got in HC), Augusta, Phyl, Alaina. That was the easy one, now I have to explain why I chose each person, the second order will go from easier to find to harder to find.

Naan: Of course, that's Mr. Mellark. Naan bread is of course, bread, however I chose this specific name because Naan bread is easy to make. My HC says that Mr. Mellark was easy to manipulate and never talked back. That's because he was a genuinely good person (at least, that's what we're led to believe) and was living with a bitch. She could manipulate him all she wanted.

Nandina: That's Mrs. Mellark and I am very proud of that one. Nandina Domestica also has the nickname ''Firepower''. The two parts of the nickname speak for themselves, she definitely had some power over her family and she does have a fire, let alone that she works with it because she's a baker's wife. Sure, it's not the "If we burn, you burn with us" kind of fire but rather the (worse) "I'm fucked up enough to abuse my kids". But that's not all, Nandina Domestica is listed as toxic in some lists like Colorado state University's list. Honestly, half of the sources say that it's only toxic to animals while others say that the whole plant is also toxic to humans. Idk 🤷‍♀️.

Sylva: Mrs. Undersee is named Sylva and it is short for the plant Myosotis Sylvatica. Also known as forget-me-not. I think that's a bit obvious, I don't think she ever got over Maysilee's death. I don't blame her. I almost named Mrs. Everdeen as Sylva though, but I think the name I gave her is a bit more fitting.

Yarrow: That is Mrs. Everdeen. According to a bunch of sources including this post yarrow stood for everlasting love in the Victorian language of flowers. And I think that even though the name is not very feminine (come on, I was this close to naming Mr. Mellark Focaccia, I didn't want to use much time on his name) I used that for some reasons. First, her love with Mr. Everdeen (whose name I'm not proud of, sorry) was definitely everlasting, and second Yarrow has medicinal purposes as it was used to improve digestion by increasing the amounts of saliva and stomach acid.

Archie: Yeah, I'm sorry for that. Mr. Everdeen is kind of unoriginal. Except for the obvious nod to archer, Archie is I'm pretty sure an actual German name that means bold or brave (is anyone German here? If so, can you confirm/deny? I just saw it in a site and said okay). I think that after the 2nd Quarter Quell there tried to be uprisings, and this time 12 was an active part of it. And Mr. Everdeen was a part of it. In fact I think that Mr. Hawthorne might have too. Gale seems feisty enough. I have also seen a very interesting take on a fanfic were the reason Archie, Mr. Hawthorne and co died in the accident was to punish the people who tried to rebel and because of their association with Haymitch. Since almost everyone was a coalminer Snow just blew the mine up. The only merchant in the rebellion was Naan and he was punished by reaping his youngest (yes, it goes against his name a little, but I like it).

So yeah. That's my thoughts, feel free to help here. Also I wouldn't have a problem with a new name for Mr. Everdeen, I'd search more but right now it's 3:05 am. @lucysnow1106 I'm pretty sure that the fic I'm mentioning is from your bookmarks (yes, I did read the fics there that caught my interest) so maybe you remember the fanfic's name? Thank you!

[hey-its-cweepy]

Its time for another lil guy

Name: Phyllis Cormorant (aka Phyl/Phil)

Gender: Male (He/Him)

Twisted of: Cramorant from Pokemon Sword and Shield!

Age: 19

Birthday: September 5th

Star sign: Virgo

Height: 5'7

Hair color: Blue

Eye color: Green

Occupation: Student, online influencer

Dorm: Evolnation (part of @hourglassstationacademy!)

School year: 2nd (repeat year due to some Complications™)

Club: Cooking

Best subject: Also cooking, but Im including flight classes and alchemy too

Dominant hand: Ambidextrous

Likes: Food, flying, battling

Dislikes: Having things taken away from him (food, material belongings, friends, etc)

Favorite food: Fish!

Least favorite food: Unknown

Talent: Phyllis can consume ungodly amounts of food in a short period of time, his weight seems unaffected by this

Personality: Phyllis has a somewhat monotonous voice which typically makes him come off as disinterested in things, although he has a very polite manner of speech. Phyllis is also quite forgetful at times, so his grades arent the best.

He's a big eater! But he can be quite a messy one too (not to the point of chewing w his mouth open or stuff like that, thats just straight up gross)

Unique Magic: Grab a bite: This UM allows the user to be capable of consuming things they otherwise wouldnt be able to (ex. Toxic materials)

[prettypiggytiffany]

Hey Tiffany, it's Phyl here. Sorry to bother you so early in the morning, I was wondering if you've seen Claude, Ms. Mac has been looking for him for a while and he's been gone since you got home yesterday

Goodmorning, Phyl!!

No worries at all! I know Ms. Mac loves Claude very much 😊

I'm not sure! I told Jess yesterday afternoon that I think his new hideout is the attic! He was in there the last time I saw him.. Maybe he's catching mice! ☺️ Claude seems.. territorial over the attic now, I don't think we should go up there.

If I see him around, I'll let you and Ms. Mac know right away!! ❤️

- Love, Tiffany! 💗

[knitwit1912]

Instinct tingled at the back of her neck, and she was suddenly very aware that the stacks that surrounded this corner of the library might be great for muffling noise, but they also blocked her from view of anyone else in the library. None of her usual study buddies were at their carrels today, and there was no sound of anyone in the stacks nearby.

She took a step back and had just started to turn away when he finally spoke. “Phyllis Coulson?”

Phyl froze, her breath catching in her throat. “Who’s asking?”

He stood, and Phyl felt another tingle of fear go down her spine as he pulled himself to his full height. He had to have nearly a foot on her, and she wasn’t exactly short.

“Agent Fury of SHIELD.”

Phyl’s mouth went dry, her heart pounding in her ears.  “What does SHIELD want with me?” she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

He took a step forward, crossing his arms with a nonchalant air, though his gaze stayed just as intense and observant. “I think the better question is what do you want with SHIELD?”

___

Just a heads' up, same warnings as last chapter; this one is also real sad. Warnings for loss, grief, offscreen violent death, loss of a parent (in childhood and adulthood) and a POV character's experience of their own death. If there's anything people think I've missed or you think I should change the wording of these to better reflect the warnings, please let me know and I'll edit the warnings.

[circusgoth-dotcom]

⬇️Information⬇️

Keaton Kennedy: My Joker 2019 s/i. Keaton and Arthur met during one of Arthur's last self-admittances to Arkham and bonded over their traumas and mental what-have-yous, as well as living in Gotham, the shittiest place on Earth. After they were both released, they ended up moving-in together. (Possibly post-Arthur's mother's death? I haven't really worked out the timeline because I haven't really felt like rewatching this movie, but I probably will before Folie A Deux comes out)

Gabriel Starling: My Black Christmas s/i. A sorority sister who isn't a sister, Gabriel is the only motherfucker that can handle the creep in the attic. He's also good friends with Barb, Jess, and Phyl, but is definitely the closest with Barb <- They bond over having shitty moms. He's willing to try and understand/domesticate Billy, even if he ends up being a bit too complacent with some of his behaviours...

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Paranormal Masterlist

A Day in the... Life? (ao3) - carefully_crafted_cliches

Summary: A day in the... er, life of Dan and his ghost boyfriend, Phil.

chaos in bloom (ao3) - vvelna

Summary: The adventures of Dan and Phyl, ghost removal experts.

Dead of Night (ao3) - PoisonedMind

Summary: The windows rattle and the floor creaks and Dan writes i miss you to Phil before he goes to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

As he crawls into bed, he checks his phone. There’s a message from Phil waiting for him.

I'll be home soon

(TW) Early Sunsets Over Monroeville (ao3) - Morguesick

Summary: Dan had found his first ever safe space in Phil, and for Phil, someone to truly love. Yet, their relationship - and Dan's trust is jeopardised when Phil begins acting strangely following unexpected events on a caravan holiday in an abnormal country town with Chris and Pj.

A story of Dan losing his sense of reality following Phil's spiral into gradual paranormal depravity.

- set in 2010 -

Dragonfly (ao3) - lvckyphan

Summary: Something terrible happened in Littlerock Mental Asylum in the 1970s. Dan and his group of historically-crazed friends know this for certain. But when you throw in corporate secrets, paranormal activity and a chilling boy with very, very blue eyes, things begin to get a little more complicated.

four hotel walls (ao3) - watergator (orphan_account)

Summary: dan and phil are paranormal investigators from the 90s

House Haunting (ao3) - Indelible_Faith (TheWaterGoddess), nebulous_frog, PoisonedMind

Summary: Their house is haunted, Phil is certain of it.

Dan, on the other hand, has doubts. But when certain events begin happening, Dan doesn’t really think it’s quite amusing anymore...

in the woods somewhere (ao3) - antiadvil

Summary: After Dani bit Fi, Fi started to change too.

Mystery House (ao3) - multifandomer

Summary: Dan has just moved into a new house. The house is nice and looks expensive, but doesn’t cost as much as it should. He meets some unexpected people that will play a big part in his future.

oh invisible (ao3) - vvelna

Summary: The Happy Phantoms team takes on a ghost in a crawlspace.

Puppy Love (ao3) - citizen101erased

Summary: Phil goes to the dog show. He comes back with more than just fun stories and instagram selfies. Dan is pretending not to be pleased, but honestly, he can’t say no to those cute puppy eyes.

But then, strange things start to happen…

quiet on widow's peak (ao3) - dvp_95

Summary: Phil's got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

(TW) Runaway Poltergeists (ao3) - kittycatrin (orphan_account)

Summary: Dan Howell dissociates, and Phil Lester is a ghost. Somehow, Phil still seems more real than Dan does.

SPI: A Dan and Phil Paranormal Investigator AU (ao3) - trancelover99

Summary: So I made a TikTok where Dan and Phil were Paranormal Investigators, and I decided to make an AU based on it.

The X-Philes (ao3) - UnorthodoxSavvy

Summary: Phil is a psychic. Dan is a detective. When Phil is visited by the ghost of his brother, he knows something isn't right. Can he and Dan solve the case, or will they become the next victims?

Watchful (ao3) - cafephan

Summary: Phil is part of one of the world’s most famous paranormal investigator groups, along with his friends Joe, Zoe and Louise. The never before investigated Harrowick Penitentiary catches the group’s attention, and they settle in the town for a week long investigation. Most importantly, they hope to make contact with one spirit in particular, Dan Howell, who was falsely imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit, and was murdered in the building. When Dan becomes attached to Phil, things become a lot more complicated.

[nounpolycule]

Hi! I’m Esther/Phyl/Mary/Kasteraxilkemeryapheshexerindaikyat - take your pick, I’m not picky!

- he/she in English

- elle en français

Nounpolycule (noun): Any fictional polycule in which three or more members are Doctor Who character that are named after nouns. Here, often used to refer to doctorriverrose.

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