killerwizrd555 · 1 year ago
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Gary: oh Chloe! we have a whole bunch of bananas here!
me: oh.. I don't like bananas
Gary: we have a slew of them!
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jellytamalies · 3 months ago
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An ode to mk’s many many parental figures (most of them suck lmao)
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doloneia · 30 days ago
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telemachus: would you still love me if i was a worm
peisistratus: … yes?
telemachus: ok follow up question. would you still love me if i asked you to break the customs of xenia and just drop me off at my ship
peisistratus, sighing: my dad is gonna be so pissed [swerves chariot around]
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vic-does-battlecats · 7 months ago
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Minor spoilers for the already revealed chapters of the next A Starless Clan book Wind
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#a starless clan#a starless clan spoilers#wind spoilers#asc spoilers#warrior cats spoilers#warriors#warrior cats#tigerheart#tigerheartstar#tigerstar 2#tigerstar#Squirrelflight#squirrelstar#frostpaw#Nightheart#I’ve been wanting to draw this ever since the chapters were revealed and what better time than like two days til the book comes out#i actually think tigerheartstar is an interesting character in this arc he genuinely thinks he’s doing the right thing and he does honestly#want to help. he just does it by trying to crack dad jokes to lighten the mood while trying to run a group that doesn’t want him there#i also think it’s funny that he’s consistently just chill with taking in cats thrown out of their clans. ESPECIALLY from RiverClan#don’t get me wrong he’s super weird in omen of the stars and avos and I think in his super edition (I haven’t read it in a while)#but he’s also a good dad. he’s such a perplexing character I can’t help but find him interesting. at least he DOES stuff yknow#I’ll eat my words if he does turn out to be completely evil or something. but I’ll hate if he does his behavior really isn’t like Tigerstar#-the first. this guy isn’t out here trying to seize power#but ENOUGH ABOUT HIM!! Nightheart asking squirrelstar if frostpaw could come to thunderclan with him was so sweet#i wish she’d accepted I don’t want them to split up I’m worried the writers will forget the entire last book and they won’t be close again#comic#meme#illustration
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kelpiemomma · 1 year ago
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He hesitated as the child below him smiled and reached up. His claws rested right above its head and yet it looked delighted to see him. Did it not realize the danger it was in? It grabbed his fur and giggled.
"Puppy!"
...if he was asked, he was simply raising it up to help him infiltrate human settlements better.
#Khan a.#Zoroark Khan#Raised by Zoroarks au#Khan finds Akari in the middle of nowhere and is about to kill her (bc all humans deserve to die in his eyes)#But when she smiles at him he can't do it and decides to take her in and raise her instead#There was something about her looking... Happy to see him that stopped him#(when was the last time anyone was happy to see him?)#(this is bc I thought it'd be funny if Khan raised akari as a Zoroark and then got upset and jealous#When ingo drops the fuck out of the sky and after becoming the warden becomes friendly#the weird feral child running with Zoroarks. He tries to guide her into human behaviors which she finds so INTERESTING#Esp when he decides she's good enough to go into town!!! The town humans are neat and not at all scary like khan had always said#Ingo lies and says she's his daughter. That they had gotten separated during travel. That she had to survive on her own for a time#Which is why she's... Like That. Everyone eats it up. Gives her free stuff. Tells her they're glad she's reunited with her dad.#Akari tells Khan (who's only referred to as 'malice' yet) and Khan gets jealous as FUCK.#That is HIS BABY. HE FOUND HER. HE RAISED HER. SHE'S HIS DAUGHTER. NOT INGO'S!!!#But when he tries to sneak into Jubilife to steal her back? Bring her home? Do something? He's caught and chased out. And the next morning#Things are abuzz with the news that a black Zoroark had tried to break in!! Those things are so dangerous!! Say...#Hadn't the clans mentioned a black Zoroark before?#Akari discovers then (long after befriending ingo and months since she started coming into town) that Khan had told her the truth.#That these people hated Zoroarks. Feared them. But Ingo tells her that the clans have been harassed by them for generations.#That Malice is right but also he's wrong. And Akari decides she's going to show how GOOD Zoroarks are!!! How loving the are to their family#She ends up helping Laventon and Rei with the dex. She is still known as Warden Ingo's Feral Daughter. And everyone wonders and fears#Bc somehow one of the first pokemon she caught was a zorua she keeps in her party ALWAYS. Ingo thinks her wanting to show the good side#of Zoroarks is a good thing. Peace would be beneficial. He's heard hunters in the pearl clan discuss wanting to track down and kill#Every Zoroark and zorua to keep them from hunting the clans. He doesn't want an entire species wiped out!#So there is Ingo and his 'daughter' (who he is genuinely starting to see as his daughter) and then suddenly#One day there is a knock at the door. And ingo opens it to see a young man with a nasty scar GLARING at him#And the first thing he says is 'give me back my child' which makes ingo ???)#There were more tags but Tumblr said 'fuck you that's too many'#TLDR ingo has to lie to Jubilife residents and tell them Khan is his ex and the residents are LIVING for the perceived Family Drama™️
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tsuchinokoroyale · 1 year ago
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Everyday I am bullied by a creature 1/20th my size to make an unreasonable amount of space for her on the bed and even then I have to hold her head so she doesn’t roll off the bed… and it’s the best part of every day 😍
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bumblingbabooshka · 1 year ago
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Listening
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girlhorse · 1 month ago
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im so taken aback... my sweet boy Enzo has turned into such a Bad boy since we moved Lmao.... my parents have very untrained dogs and have no boundaries so they feed them from the table and let them bark constantly etc. enzo is starting to beg more and Tonight for the first time ever he jumped up on the dining chair onto the dining table and ate a ton of left over food that we were just about to clean up!?!?!?!!! scream
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mejomonster · 2 years ago
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Fei Du: trying to be emotionless, to be fair quite numb to his feelings. Very easy to not notice the subtle ways they're working under the surface
Luo Wenzhou: makes fei du feel like SUCH a baby boy a scolded teen a playboy punk that he can't HELP but roll his eyes and glare and get pushed into action
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oddogoblino · 9 months ago
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I find it so funny how at first, my mama thought my sister was autistic due to how different she acted growing up compared to me and my brother. Now, upon really thinking things over, she's considering she may have just had two neurodivergent kids that made her neurotypical child seem strange by default.
She was legit worried and trying to find out what she could to make her life easier. Aaand then realized one day when we went out to a loud fleamarket that I, her firstborn, might have just skewed her perception of what typical behavior was. After all her weeks of research, she noticed & told me a behavior of mine was a symptom of autism and suddenly her concern for my sister disappeared since.
In hindsight, it should've been obvious. My sister reached her development goals perfectly on time meanwhile me and my baby brother were late to the same thing.
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katierosefun · 2 years ago
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i think being an adult is realizing that adults will continue to act shitty and that no adult is somehow more mature purely because they’re older than you. like damn, when you’re a kid, you might be treated badly by adults from time to time, and you might argue back against them, but you’re still shadowed by the fact that you are a kid and you’re a little too aware, even as a kid, that you might not know everything in the world--
and then you’re an adult--a pretty young adult, but an adult regardless--and you realize very quickly that oh, no, you weren’t wrong as a kid: adults can still act badly and they can be actually almost just as if not even more irrational and immature than your local five year old. it’s a little bit odd, just because i think there might be a part of you that thinks, hang on, no, but you’re an adult, adults are supposed to be more mature at this point, but also, i think it’s a little freeing as well: look, we are both adults. look at how immature you’re acting--now i know that just because you’re older doesn’t mean that you know better.
#caroline talks#mm yeah i'm just contemplating yesterday again#my roommate was like 'caroline . . . there's something wrong with him if he's getting off on saying#those kinds of things to a person half his age'#and like. yeah. i agree.#and don't get me wrong like.#ever since i was a kid i think i always had this sense that being older doesn't mean you know everything#or that you're even necessarily a better person#something something when i was really little#my dad said 'caroline just because you got one year older doesn't mean you're mature. you just aged. anything can age.'#and i sort of kept thinking that yesterday when my landlord raised his voice + started interrupting me + going for ad hominem attacks#it was so funny and it reminded me#of a bratty kid who couldn't think of any arguments so he'd say things like 'WELL . .. YOU'RE UGLY' or something#and like. of course ad hominem attacks are still going to sting a little bit#because i would like to think most people don't really like having their personalities and their personal lives being attacked#or like when my landlord just really stood up and left while i was talking to him#that was straight up teenager behavior#i did the same when he came back up but then i paused#and said 'it seemed like you were going to say something and i won't walk away because i want you to finish what you were saying'#and then he says something shitty and condescending#and then i smiled as wide as i could#and was like 'yes [name]'#which was already annoying enough#but he just keeps pestering me now#just texting and belittling me#and saying 'it's not that bad see'#i did ultimately get the better deal#i got a new lease that makes sure he'll never pull this fucking shit ever again#but of course. he can still text me annoying condescending things#so i'll do what i do whenever bullies want to pull shit.
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eastberlin · 1 year ago
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I am so tired of being stressed/anxious/worried.
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oglegoggle · 2 years ago
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It bothers me when folks insist that there are literally no good reasons to surrender pets because it destroys their hearts. Like…. My dude…. That evil fuckin cat that slashed my literal eyeball should be surrendered. I found new homes for my three cats because I couldn’t take having multiple panic attacks triggered every single fucking day because they’ve got claws and I’ve got a new dose of fresh PTSD caused by that demon slashing my eye. I still can’t sleep well because of the nightmares about it. The pain and the blood and the temp blindness in that eye and the extreme fear. It’s been months. My life was fucking destroyed and my love of cats ripped from my soul. But I’m the villain? No. Needs drastically change sometimes and it sucks for everyone involved. It wasn’t good for me having cats around. It wasn’t good for my cats to have their only human destabilized and constantly rejecting their affection. They’ve got a new home where all three miraculously got to stay together and are dearly loved again as they deserve to be.
#this is goggles#he didn’t want to surrender her because nobody will adopt a black cat with hardcore behavioral issues that put someone in the ER#and she would likely be put down#yanno the way humans have been dealing with and selectively breeding their domestic animals for literal millennia#but he’s an asshole with behavioral issues himself and doesn’t give a flying fuck about others#lmfao one of his friends told me they think he should honestly be institutionalized for his myriad of out of control behavioral issues#he needs a parent more than a partner but he still continues to date and expect those he dates to baby him#but then is upset when people don’t want to deal with him because he acts like a literal spoiled child#his friends are growing fed up with his shit after seeing how he treated me and that’s so fucking funny to me#good honestly I hope he drives off everyone around him and is left with just himself#in his nasty piss and shit filled dirty laundry nest he calls a home#he reminds me so much of a guy I used to play D&D with who did the exact same shit and was mooching off his dad well into his 60s#and would throw pissbaby fits whenever he wasn’t the center of attention or if anyone told him off for acting like a child#still complains about how awful his two years of marriage 30 years prior were because his ex-wife would constantly nag him to clean up#I was so patient with my ex because I saw a lot of the ways my own behavior was influenced by AuDHD and fucked up and I actually fixed them#I fixed those flaws and now I live in a BH&G levels of clean home I’m on track for a good career#my life transformed while I was with him but his did not and now that I ain’t dealing with him the boons of my work are clear as day#and he’s mad he’s in his parents basement working his $12/hr weed job and getting nagged for being irresponsible and filthy#lmfao moron
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ablednt · 2 years ago
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I don't understand cave johnson likers the only comedic value his character brings is how awful he is and then it's like anyway here he is committing multiple atrocities lol and the half of you are like omg funny sillay guy
Not saying this in the you're a bad person for experiencing media wrong way but in it genuinely baffles me portal has so many funny silly characters and y'all are like "I like the blatantly evil millionaire CEO who murders innocent people for fun. I think it is very funny when he hates homeless people and uh fires people for being in wheelchairs."
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slutfics · 6 months ago
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ᥫ᭡. FATHER HEADCANONS .ᐟ
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characters: obito uchiha, kakashi hakate, itachi uchiha & neji hyuga.
warnings. none. fluff, domestic life, not proofread.
writers note. how i think they’ll act as fathers, kakashi isn’t married i believe and the other ones are dead, so i just wanted to make a little something for my beloveds, especially for obito since he’s been nothing but a nuisance in my head. I love him.
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OBITO UCHIHA !
he’s definitely the ‘big family’ type of guy, probably would want at least four kids, five the highest. yea, he likes having little spawns, even if he doesn’t look like it.
he doesn’t yell or spank his children, however there’s been times when he has yelled because they were acting out.
when he’s irritated, his children would know it’s time to stop, his voice deepens and becomes stern and he has a look that makes them stop whatever behavior they were doing. he could be scary, but other than that he’s a chill dad.
his ‘time-out’ methods are putting his kids in the corner or extending their chores. sometimes he’ll make them clean the front yard and bathroom.
he actually smacks his kids over the head when they don’t listen or throw his slippers at them. depending the age of his children, let’s say ten through fifteen, they’ll think it’s funny before he has them cleaning something they don’t wanna do.
his uchiha genes are stronger than yours, they’ll have his eyes and hair color and depending how many kids you have with him, only couple would have your hair color and eyes (the skin color will possibly slip in). they’re also short tempered.
he likes training his kids and is often proud of them when they finally have it down.
he keeps all of their colorings they’ve made him, he keeps them somewhere safe so they can’t get ruined or lost. (he might go bonkers if they get lost).
he’s a very overprotective dad, his children have to be home at a certain time. he will personally hunt them down if they’re not home by the time sunsets.
obito spoils his children but not to the point where they don’t understand ‘no’ he will put his foot down and doesn’t tolerate tantrums. he also doesn’t have favorites, he knows that isn’t right, especially as a parent, all of his children are treated equally.
wise words from obito to his children: “get your ass down from there right now.” “keep acting like lunatic and I’ll send you home and you won’t come out there until dinner, do you understand?”
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KAKASHI HAKATE !
kakashi would only want two kids, a boy and a girl. he sees this as a perfect amount, he’s fine with children, he just doesn’t want a zoo of them, and plus he’ll probably have grandchildren in future.
he’s a very chill and patient dad, he knows how to handle his children and they listen pretty good, however.. they’re sassy and he knows they got that from him and he refuses to admit it. his kids are pretty mean, but they mean well.
he also doesn’t spank his kids, but he does make his kids clean the entire house and makes sure there isn’t a single speck of dust flying around.
kakashi knows his children’s interests and will personally try to understand it, even if some of them are a bit weird.
he’s the type to tell his children that santa won’t bring them presents because they’re misbehaving and won’t listen to him. he’ll also tell them that the boogieman will drag them out of bed by their feet and take them away. (they haven’t slept in their own room for a week).
he likes to pinch his children cheeks, he thinks it’s adorable. he also ruffles their hair, especially if his children possessed his beautiful spiky hair.
kakashi’s genes are strong, but it’s a well mixture of yours, if you have moles, freckles or whatever, your children with kakashi will have them.
there’s been times where he doesn’t know how to handle temper tantrums, the only thing that comes to mind is to send his kids to their room to have them scream it out. (they’ll fall asleep afterwards and by the time they wake up dinner is already done.)
kakashi is a good listener, he knows how to handle his kids emotions and is there for them. however there’s been times he has to be straightforward with them, he knows he can’t always sugarcoat things just because they’re his kids.
kakashi may be chill, but he does have strict rules for his children to follow. he has tied his child to a tree and will do it again if he has to.
kakashi’s wise words to his beloved children: “oh! is that so? would you like me to tell mommy what you have been doing? no, then knock it off.” “you are in big trouble when we get home, you are to clean the bathroom, do I make myself clear?”
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ITACHI UCHIHA !
itachi, the gentle soul that he is. he’s also someone who will have two children, genders are irrelevant to him, he’s just happy to have a family, even if his little spawns have him stressing and worried.
he’s the type of dad that you wouldn’t want to be mad, they know it’s time to settle down when he’s upset. itachi doesn’t have to say anything but look at them, and you wouldn’t know if he’s mad, but they do, they know when he’s pissed and that has them shutting up within an instant.
itachi doesn’t lay a hand on them nor does he yell, but he does put them in time-out or send them to their room and have them think about what they have done.
itachi is a rather patient dad, and if his kids are toddlers he would know how to handle them and calm them down. he likes taking them on walks and have them cry on his shoulder as he tells them a little story or something to have them keep their mind occupied. if that doesn’t help, he’ll try putting them down for a nap.
he likes making them their foods. he’s the one who packs their lunch for school and makes them breakfast in the morning, he also makes sure that his kids have healthy meals. yes, he allows his children to eat junk food, just not all the time. he wants his kids to grow big and strong, as he likes to tell them.
he likes listening to them talk about their day at school or just have a casual conversation with them, he really likes quality time.
his children don’t get bullied in school, he’s scared them off, as much as he’s a gentle man, he’s still a scary guy and doesn’t tolerate other children bullying his own. he doesn’t like seeing them cry. however, he will speak the child’s parents in hopes to settle things.
when his kids suggested a game, he lets them win, especially if it’s hide n seek, he knows exactly where his kids are hiding and he hides in the most basic spots for them. (he just really likes hearing their squeals and giggles when they find him.
if his children are older, he would like to know where they are heading off, he doesn’t restrict them from having fun with their friends, he just doesn’t want anything bad happening to them when they are out. they have a certain time they have to be back home. will not tolerate back talk.
he does ground his children, the longest time they have been grounded was three months and no, he doesn’t forget and will make sure they learn they lesson. he loves them, but he will teach them that their actions have consequences.
itachi’s wise words to his children: “you are misbehaving, would like me to grounded you? then stop that.” “I will not be teaching you that, you have not been listening to be for the whole day.”
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NEJI HYUGA !
neji is aware how difficult it will be to rise kids, so he’ll possibly have two or three kids, genders don’t matter to him, he made them and he’s going to raise them the best he can. there’s a lot of things that he doesn’t tolerate with them and that is back talk, he doesn’t like back talk, at all.
neji definitely spanks his kids, is it hard? no, not at all, but it’s enough to sting and he’s well aware how heavy his hand could be. he also has a major soft spot for them, so spanking his kids isn’t often.
his byakugan does actives when he’s pissed off with them and that could be a scary sight for them and they know they’re in deep trouble, especially when they did something they weren’t supposed to do. his children don’t purposely make him mad, it’s horrifying to them.
neji doesn’t like when his kids cry, it makes his heart pang and he tries his best to comfort them.
his the one who bandages them up when they get hurt and will lecture them as he does so. he knows how reckless children can get, especially when they are unattended. sometimes he’ll have to supervise them.
when he trains his kids, he does not overwork them, once he sees them tired and barely holding themselves up, he’ll either stop or have them rest up a bit before continuing. he makes them tea and food, or give them water then have them shower.
his children have a bedtime routine, his kids need to be well rested and will not stay up to early, he has them study occasionally so they know what they are doing.
he’s the type of parent to pinch his kids arms, that’s a warning sign for them to knock their shits off or they’re in big trouble once they return home. or sometimes he’ll simply just look at them and they’re already know they’re in trouble.
if his children were to snitch on another and they’re yelling who did and who’s denying, everyone is in trouble and they are to stand in the corner until he says they can leave and if they start acting up, he sends them to their room to take a nap or he’ll train them.
neji is a good dad and he’s a bit on the strict side when comes to them, however he doesn’t prevent them from doing things they want to do, as long as it’s not criminal or cause them serious harm. he’s also the type to tell his children to get up back and try again or tell them to walk it off.
neji’s wise words to his kids: “do you want me to give you pow-pow? then stop this nonsense.” “get in the corner and think about what you did.”
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© SLUTFICS. . . please do not repost, steal, copy or publish my works on other platforms, however reblogging and ♡ are greatly appreciated.
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bumblingbabooshka · 1 year ago
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Tuvok Cringe Compilation
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