#I mean he ate and everything the behavior was only different once we started getting dressed/ready

[eastberlin]

I am so tired of being stressed/anxious/worried.

[hydrangea-mon-amor]

SWEET INJURIES.

Female! Yandere OC x reader

Trigger warning! Yandere behavior, obsessive behavior, non con physical touch, one sided somnophilia. This work also includes the notion of rape. If you are not comfortable with that please do not read further. (Tell me if i need to add more!) DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

Side note — if you read the trigger warning and still were triggered by the content (or any that I’ve wrote) please message me ASAP and tell me about it. This goes for all of my works, but I do not mean harm writing these stories and the content of my blog are dark and heavy. I DO NOT condone this behavior and if any of you see yourself in a situation like this I urge you to seek help.

Summery! You have the perfect life, good grades, a group of friends and a good home life. In your school the popular girl, Valery Magnolia is the daughter of two famous doctors with a hospital in your city. Valery is trained in the arts of medicine and when you suffer from a serious fall you seem to catch the attention of miss popular.

A/N: I think this is the longest fic I’ve wrote so far, anyways enjoy I’ve had a blast writing Valery’s character. Just to put it out there this pictures are not mine and I’ve found all of them on Pinterest. This is unedited as fuck so don’t be surprised if you see many errors. As time goes by I’ll be able to lick them out and fix them, so for now, just enjoy. ❤️

— AGAIN IF ANY OF THE TRIGGER WARNING I LISTED TRIGGERS YOU THEN PLEASE DONT READ FURTHER.

You sit with your friends at a lunch table while you eye miss popular chortle it out with her friends. Valery Magnolia, the highly praised daughter of two famous doctors and the owners of Magnolia Medical Center. Tch. People say she’ll become just as knowledgeable about medicine like her parents, maybe even start her own clinic. But for now, you and her are in high school in your junior year. And besides, it’s public knowledge that she’s dating the quarter back Jaydee B Hallaghar, brother to the famous runway model Dante T Hallaghar. You scoff to yourself, why do you even care? Matter of factly, why are you so fixed on looking at her? You’re being foolish, and you know it.

“I heard she’s killed some people.” You whip your head around at your friend Tylers vicious statement. He stabs a fork in his undercooked meat and the only thing he ate so far were the tatter tots. He seems to notice your bewildered gaze. “Y‘’know, like when she operated on some patients she kinda fucked it up and killed ‘em. Since her parents are rich and famous and a real big deal in our city they were able to cover it up, mostly.”

“Your crazy, she may be a prissy bitch but I don’t think she is a killer.”

“I bet her victims thought that too.”

“Whatever.” You stand up with your tray in hand and you look back to Tyler. “Come on, let’s go to the rooftop.” Tyler again picks at his meat, you don’t know why you know he won’t eat it.

“Won’t we get in trouble? Again?”

“Tyler, we always get in trouble going up there, what’s the difference now.” Tyler pushes his chair back and cocks his head to his rear.

“Like, what if we get suspended or something?”

“Then we’ll just get a break from this hellhole they call ‘school’.”

Your feet dangles of the edge. Your school is only three stories high so everything is fairly close. Even now, the people that are on the ground don’t look as small as some would say. But maybe that’s just because your not high enough. Your friends lays on his back a cigar in his mouth. You don’t tell him that the smell bothers you.

“Do you ever have wet dreams about anyone?” You look at him disgusted.

“You are genuinely such a gross person. Why is every thought you have so lewd?”

“Why isn’t your thoughts lewd enough?” He sits up in a crisscrossed position, throwing his cigar off the roof top he then turns to face you. “So, do you?” You avert your gaze from him.

“Once, but it was about my ex and they were a shit show so I don’t like to think about it.”

“Fair,” Tyler picks at his pocket pulling out another cigar. “I’ve had a few, most of them are about a certain Magnolia girl.” You actually wish to puke.

“No seriously, what’s your obsession with her? Wet dreams? You even know her whole ass schedule and not to mention all the theories you have on her.” Tyler thinks for a moment.

“It was in elementary. We had a school project and you know how I was in school, a total freak! No one wanted to be my partner, no one but Valery. She decided to be my partner when she could’ve just chosen one of her hundred friends. She sometimes smiles at me in the hallways. You think she remembers?”

“So a girl was nice to you once and now you have these intense yucky feelings?” You say nonchalantly.

“Pretty much.”

A few minutes later you hear the school bell and you say your god yes to Tyler because he always leaves first and because you have different classes. But also because you like the view here. The tees sway nice and the grass looks more lively. But when you lift yourself up to finally get to your locker and head to class you feel yourself slip.

Instead of rearing back into the rooftop you sway forth and you find yourself tumbling down. When you hit the floor you hear cracks, not a crack but many all at once at the same time. Blood pools from all parts of your body but you can’t find it in you to scream. Because you can’t. Your throat hurts too much and with every breath you take the more excruciating it is. You hear heels click on the floor rushing to you. It’s your guidance counselor. She screams for you to stay awake and to not sleep but you can’t hear her well, you can’t really see well either. Everything is blurry.

The last thing you feels is your body being shaken and the odd sound of muffled yelling and the beeping of a number being dialed.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

You wake with a ache in your head, no it’s not there, it’s everywhere.

You try to sit up straight but the physical pain you feel is so raw you let out a gasp.

“Careful.” A stern voice states from your side. You turn your head to see that it’s none other than Jacob Magnolia, the father to Valery. “What were you thinking trying to commit suicide like that? Twenty of your bones have been fractured and two broken.”

“I didn’t—“

“Please, quiet. When your guidance counselor saw you on the ground do you know who she was with?” You shake your head. “Well, I guess that is to be expected. She was with my daughter. My little girl had to watch an almost dead body.”

“But sir that isn’t my fu—“ Dr. Jacob puts his finger to your mouth to silence you.

“Enough, I already have enough patients to deal with.” It was then that the door to your room creaked open and a girl tepidly stepped inside.

“Daddy? Are you in there? Um, are they alright?”

Well fuck.

Of course, it has to be Valery Magnolia barging into the room like this.

“They’ll be just fine darling. Do you mind watching over them for a bit? I have to check on some of my other patients.” Valery moves inside the room and sits by a chair close to your bed.

“Sure, I don’t mind.” Valery’s dad thanks her before stepping out of the room. It is now that she turns to look at you. “Are you alright?”

“Do I look alright? Twenty-two of my bones are fucking gone.” Your voice is dread-filled but funny enough it actually made Valery chuckle.

“They aren’t gone, they are just damaged. They’ll be fine in a couple of months. You can trust me on this.” She gives you a genuine smile.

“Lucky me.” Your voice is muffled but you didn’t really care.

“Do you want some water? I can get you it.”

“Trust me, the only way I’ll be able to have fluids circling my body is through feeding tubes. There is absolutely no way of my standing up, you can trust me on this, I’ve tried.” Again, you’ve managed to get Miss Popular to laugh.

“Well, I can tell you I’ll try my best to make you as comfortable as I am able. My name is Va—“

“Valery yes I know. And I guess this is where I tell that my name is Y/n.” She looks almost taken aback, almost.

“I didn’t know you already knew of me. Can I ask how? We’ve never met each other before.” For the first time meeting her, you wanted to slap her across the face.

“You literally saw my bleeding body on school grounds which should tell you that we are from the same school. Also, I have you in four different periods, and that's besides lunch. But I guess since you’re so popular and loved you don’t have time to notice the background of things. Am I right?” Valery’s lips creased into a thin line before she tried to force them into a lukewarm smile.

“I didn't know you felt so strongly about my reputation at school. But that doesn’t matter now, does it? You’re injured and I’ve already told you I’ll do anything to ensure your maximum comfort. And don’t be weary, I have quite an extensive knowledge of medicine and the human body. You’re in safe hands, I promise.”

“Are you sure about that?” Valery places a hand on your shoulder in an attempt to give comfort.

“Let’s not be so hasty to one another, besides it’s the first-way ticket to a sour relationship and I don’t feel in the mood to create an association like that. So please, for my sake and yours let’s be cordial with one another.” as she says this her hand is still in place.

“Will you agree to stop touching me if I agree to let you be my temporary ‘doctor.’” Valery nods her head enthusiastically.

“Fine. But only for a week and then I would like a certified doctor to care for me, for my peace of mind.”

“Of course.”

The first day Valery comes into your room, she comes with a feeding tube. You didn't expect her to take you so seriously but then again you weren't exaggerating so you don't mind.

“You said you needed these? Please be still while I attach this to you.”

“Won't I have to go under for that?” Valery simply gives a tight smile.

“No, not for this case. Anyways, won’t you be good and be still while I apply this to you?” You vehemently cringe internally. But you ultimately let her.

“Good.” She whispers. “I want to ask, how was your life like at school? I mean, since I am considered popular and student body president I had a lot of pressure and work to do. I wonder what it’s like for you, for someone so…average.” You seriously don’t think she’s talked to anyone that wasn’t obscenely rich.

“Well, uh, I guess it was normal? Um, I didn’t do anything. I mean I went to some after-school clubs but fewer than one-fourth of the school knew me. But I didn’t care about popularity I had my people and family and I was doing pretty good in class so I didn’t care. But my friends sure did care about you.”

“Really?” Valery’s ears perked. “What do they say, what do people say about me?”

“Well, most of them just gawk at the floor you walk on, I don’t think they're above licking your shoes for you.”

“Gross.” She states, you agree.

“Others…well others are indifferent. They don’t care about you nor do they want to. Did you hear about the rumor of you killing some of your patients from performing surgery on them?” Valery goes rigid.

“Really? Who said this about me?”

“Oh um, no one in particular, just something I heard while walking the hallway.” You lied.

“Well, what do you think of me?” You can almost feel her hold her breath as in waiting for your response to decide if she should continue or stop.

“Well, I guess a day ago I would say that you were just a snobbish prude.” You can see her visibly wince, “but after what happened yesterday I see you as a more humble person, I think. Um, I guess you're cool.” Valery breathes a sigh of relief.

“I’m glad.” She murmurs.

On the second day, Valery comes with a care package.

“Tada! All my friends have pitched in to make this for you.” You can’t move your body yet so you try as best as you can to see with your eyes. “Oh no no! Don’t push yourself Y/n, here just lay there and I’ll show you one by one what’s inside. When you are perfectly healthy you can take it for your own. Hm? Yeah?” You have no energy to decline so you just accept it. But instead of sitting in a chair, Valery decided to sit next to you on your bed.

“You’re pretty when you sleep.” She says absentmindedly but when she notices the concern in your eyes she elaborates. “Daddy had some tweezers here he needed and I opted to help, it was then that I saw you asleep. Not to sound creepy but you’re a nice sleeper.” She creeps into the care package and pulls out plushie after plushie and decorated them on your bed.

“There! Now, whenever you sleep a piece of me will always be there to take care of you, as a true doctor would.” You nod slowly, trying to follow whatever the hell she’s saying. But then you notice her looking glum.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure I guess.” She propositions herself so that she looks directly at you.

Her voice is unsure, “a-am I a whore?”

Well, you weren’t expecting that.

“It’s just, sometimes I hear from my friends that some of the kids at school think I’m a whore because I have a lot of guy friends. Hell, even my boyfriend is getting agitated by it.”

“Is he getting agitated at you or at what they're saying?” Her eyes widen as if no one has ever asked her that. “Because trust me, If your boyfriend decides to believe the rumors instead of you then he isn’t worth it. I mean, If you were my girlfriend I’d put you above all else. Don’t settle for what you know you don’t deserve.” She regards you for a moment. Like static electricity, never once blinking. If you weren’t too busy looking at the big blue teddy bear you may have gone a little spooked.

“And to answer your other question, I think we all are whores. It may not be for sex but it is for something. My friend is a whore for cigarettes and I am a whore for breaking the rules and seeing how far I can go without getting in too deep shit. I can’t exactly say what you are a whore for, but if it’s what your thinking then no. I don’t think you go after guys just for the sex they offer. Not anymore.” Valery grabs a fistful of the bed sheets and clenches them around her hands. She has to take deep and protracted breaths to prevent herself from crying tears of relief.

“Thank you Y/n, thank you so much.”

“It’s whatever.”

“No.” She reaches to take your arm in hers. “It means a lot to me, thank you.” She looks unsure of whether to say her next sentence or not, but when she looks at you and realizes how badly she wants this she can’t help herself.

“Can I hug you? Y/n, can I please hug you?”

“Valery do you still not realize I have twenty-two Broken bones, if you hug me no matter how light it was I think you would break a few more.”

“Two broken bones” she clarifies, “you have twenty fractured bones and two broken bones. Remember?”

“Yeah yeah same shit.” Valery can’t help but smile.

“Then can I stay here, for a few more minutes with you?” When she realizes she’s getting no response from you she looks at you worriedly only to have her tense muscles relax to see your sleeping face. She told you, you had a pretty face while sleeping. When she looks at you urges so raw bubbles in her stomach. But she holds herself back, no, now is not the time.

Valery is not stupid. She knows that the feelings she feels for you is far from normal, but she doesn’t care. She could care less when she has you to worry about. It’s officially been two weeks since you’ve been in the hospital and though it may be selfish to say but Valery has been enjoying every second of it. She appreciated the bond you’ve formed with her and she is delated in the process of taking care of you.

She almost wishes you were like this forever!

Now, Valery is standing at a porch, her hands knocking on a door. She’s knocked on this door many times before but today seems to be different. And she is giddy about it. The door creeks as orange heels step into the frame.

“Dante, I didn’t expect for you to have a shoot right now.”

“If you become as famous as me, you won’t have time to be free. Every hour there is a new shoot, and right here and now I’m wasting my time with you.” That’s Dante for you.

“I want to speak with Jaydee.” She gives Valery an odd look. “Is something wrong.” She shrugs.

“Is that all? Just Jaydee? What happened to: Scrumpie-pumpkin, Sugar-cakes, Snuggluffagus, Tubba Wubba or—“

“That is enough.” Again Valery is restraining everything in her to not lunge at Dante. “This is important.”

“Well you aren’t going to speak with him today, he’s helping this new kid tutoring.” Valery can feel her teeth clench. Yes that new kid, Jaydee’s friend Oscar made a bet with him to see how long he could get them to fall for him.

“Then do you mind telling him this?”

“Make it quick, I only have so much time to get to my shoot.”

“Im breaking up with him, I’ve found someone much better.” She can feel herself foaming at the mouth.

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

She should feel ashamed.

Today is the day of your discharge. Your bones have finally healed but Valery doesn’t want this to end. She doesn’t want to stop doting on you. Which is why she asks you a proposition.

“Go on a date with me.” You almost choke on your coffee.

“Say what?”

“Go on a date with me.” When seeing your expression she immediately goes to try and justify it. “You know b-because we hung around each other these past few months. You don’t even have to see it as a date, just a um, parting gift?”

“Valery, I see you tomorrow at school. It’s not like I’m a vulture, I’m not going to disappear.”

“I-I know that! Just come to my house, oh uh, let’s go 7:30pm huh? We can watch a movie or something, your choice!” She gives you a beaming smile in a sly chance to waver your answer in her favor.

“Okay sure, fine.”

She feels a sigh of relief. Before you know it she’s tackling you in a hug, her face squished against your cheek. If you cared to notice, you would realize how closer her lips were to your mouth, and how tight her hold was on you.

“Oh, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you! I promise you won’t regret this!”

You did

When Valery told you she lived in an apartment down Boulevard Street you expected her to be living in one unit. But then again this is Boulevard Street, home to all the filthy rich people. So imagine your surprise when you realize that Valery lives in all the units! Like, each unit has a different purpose! It wasn’t until one of the guards that guarded the main entrance told you that the apartment complex is the Magnolia’s family personal estate. All of it.

What was the point of a humungous garage then?

It seemed the guard already knew of your relation to Valery, considering how ready he was to help you. He leads you up the stairs, which again, you don’t understand why you couldn’t just use the darn elevator.

“Right this way.” He leads you to the first door on the eleventh floor.

“Thank you.” You smile and knock on the door.

It was already open.

You don’t seem to mind or be concerned considering the number of guards and protection in this place. If you lived here you wouldn’t even feel the need to lock the door! You step inside and are taken aback at how beautiful and spacious and how wondrous everything is.

“Lady Magnolia is in her bedroom, to the left.” You point your gaze that way and you can definitely tell that it is Valery’s room. The handle is pink, which you learned is her favorite color, and there is a picture on her door. Before you approached it you merely thought it was a portrait of her friends altogether but upon closer inspection you’re horrified to see that it’s you. The picture is of you in the hospital bed, sleeping. On the paper, there is an outlined word in all caps: MINE.

You open the door without a second thought. Stepping inside you see that her wall(s) is covered in pictures of you! Some of the photos are photoshopped, indulging in the idea of you…dating her.

You feel bile creeping up your throat.

You then walk to her desk, that too is covered in pictures and pictures of you. This time you actually vomit a little when you notice some pictures of Valery fondling breasts/crotch. There is no way this could be legal.

It is now that you notice definite CDs on her bedroom floor. You notice a DVD drive on her bed, and her laptop there too. You rush gathering the CDs in your hand and hopping into the bed. You were no expert but if Valery showed this much infatuation with you then you don’t think it would be above her to alter her life completely and the pursuit of you. Which is why you typed your name as the password.

……SIGHING IN.

You cannot believe that this is happening to you.

Quickly you plug the CDs into the DVD drive and the. Into the computer.

Perhaps you were just too stunned because you couldn’t stop watching, from file to file you watched everything that Valery would do while you were unaware of everything taking place. You genuinely thought she could’ve been a friend to you.

You hear footsteps

It’s already too late to hide what you have been doing

“Y/N…” you’ve never turned your head faster in your life.

“Valery—“

“I can e-explain!” You definitely want to see how that would play off.

“How are you going to justify fucking yourself on my hospital gown!” Valery is caught off guard, she didn’t expect you to see that. “You can’t explain it, can you? That’s why you’re so despondent.”

“No!” She hurriedly replied.

“Oh yeah? Then how do you explain the pictures? Huh! How do you explain every single one of your walls being covered in pictures of me! How do you explain that!”

“I had to!” She cries, cornering you into a wall. You can see tears prick her eyes. Her arms are on each side of you, barricading you. She stutters as she says, “You have no idea what it was like! I-I needed you with me—I still need you with me! Never, have I felt so genuinely cared for by another person before you! I n-never could have let you go even if I wanted to. P-please Y/N, try to understand my point of view. I-I love you.”

You slap her across the face.

“Bullshit!” You take a step closer to her, but she doesn’t budge, intent on keeping you enclosed like this. “I heard about the rumors of you and Jaydee breaking up,” you take anther look at the bedroom “but honestly I think your just using me to get over him—“

“That isn’t true! I was the one to break things off with him, and I did it because I wanted to be with you!” She withdrew her hands from the walls and went to cup your face. “I never felt so sure of something in my life before, but I knew, I just knew that you are the one for me. A-and in time I’m positive I’ll be the one for you! We can even operate on patients together—“

“Fuck no!” You push her off of you. “Why would I ever think of becoming lovers with you, especially now? You-you’ve done so many terrible things to me while I was asleep. You violated my body!”

“No I didn’t! I made love to you before we could do it consciously together! I couldn’t help myself, I needed you so badly and I wanted to make you feel good too so I guess I got a little carried away but I never violated you!”

“That is literally one of the ways you could violate someone! Using their body without their knowledge or consent! Have you gone crazy Valery?” It’s now that she breaks into harrowing smile.

“If it’s for you then yes.” You shake you head disgusted at her.

“I can’t believe you, I thought we were friends!”

“We are! We can continue to still be friends! And something’s more! I know you love me Y/N, you’re just too scared and timid to admit it. I know you are!”

“You are actually psycho!”

“No I’m not!” You shake your head, looking at the door you devise a plan. But Valery is already two steps ahead of you.

“Don’t you dare think about—“ you dash to the door as fast as you can but fall to your knees from a sharp pain. When looking back to Valery, you notice a rifle on her hands, how she got it you’ll never know.

You wake with a searing pain in your head. You realize you’re strapped onto a rather comfy cot with a body next to you huddling for warmth. It’s then do you realize it’s Valery. You try to scream but there is a gag in your mouth. You also realized that you’ve been completely changed of clothes.

Valery stirs from her supposed sleep.

“Your awake.” She murmurs, you glare. “You must still be mad at me…” she seems genuinely disheartened by it. “I know there isn’t much I could say to soothe you, but, Baby you know I would die without you right? So don't leave just yet.”

Well with you bound up like this you have no chance of ever going to!

“You must wonder where we are, it’s another unit in the Apartment complex that my parents use for extra patients. Actually there are several units for that but this one is specially for you.” She seems hesitant before pressing a chaste kiss to your forehead. She seems quite happy with herself.

“Ahh, I’ve waited ages to do that!” She snuggles closer to you. “Please understand this is all for you.” It seems to get harder and harder for you to believe that.

[fizzingwizard]

couple life things

went to Jamaica Fes on the weekend. Bob Marley everywhere. Had my first ever jerk chicken and festival bread. Sooo good. Also ate taco rice and a warm, gooey churro caked in cinnamon which was easily the best churro I've ever had in Japan.

People were all dressed up in bright colors, especially Jamaican flag colors. It was interested for me to see so much of Osaka's night life out in broad daylight haha. During the work week, most people are dressed modestly, in muted colors. Of course if you go to America-mura or hit up clubs you'll always find lots of stylish young people, but yeah, they're not so visible just out and about. Lots of skin-showing and bright hair colors. It was really fun. And so many tattoos! Japan is really opening up to tattoos it seems. Still not work appropriate most of the time (let alone school), but I don't think people's minds automatically go to "yakuza" when they see a tattoo anymore hehe. At least not in cities. Rural areas are a little different.

Work stuff: One of the toughest, though inevitable, things about my job is when a student leaves the school. They'll all leave my class at the end of the year, and eventually they'll graduate the school itself and I probably won't hear from them again. But although the end of the year makes me emotional, it's even harder when kids leave during the school year.

Last hear I had a particular challenging student, A, who was uncontrollale. If we'd had a smaller class, or fewer students with difficult behaviors, we could maybe have spent more time with him and worked out some things that we weren't able to. A lot of young kids who have trouble at school would do so much better, imo, if they could just have more personal time with the teacher. They really want and need those bonds to feel valued and supported, but when the teacher has to divide her attention among a large class, it's impossible. And "large" is not as large as you'd think when kids are only two or three years old. But schools will pay for only as many teachers as they need legally, so.

Still, we did see a LOT of progress in this student anyway. Once he got comfortable with us, he was so sweet and charming. He acted out when he got overstimulated or when he was lonely. By the end of the year, he'd grown so much. It's impossible to know how much we helped and how much was just his own understanding getting better as he got older. But we loved him a lot and we tried everything we could think of.

He also has a very supportive mom who told us she was like him when she was that age, and that she didn't expect miracles, and that she preferred if we followed his lead and went at his pace. Which was SUCH a relief to hear. Because I very much believe that's what's best with young kids. Not that you shouldn't challenge them, but there's a difference between presenting a challenge and letting them decide when to attempt it, and forcing them to attempt the challenge whether they like it or not "to build character."

A lot of parents are so worried that their kids are not "on level" with other kids of the same age and it's like. Every kid hits milestones at different points. Every kid is different. I have a mom right now who told us she's worried her kid wasn't talking much even though her older sister did at the same age. And I heard from her teacher last year that the mom was saying the same thing back then. This kid, back then, was barely two years old! It is completely, COMPLETELY normal for 2s to do a lot more observing than speaking - it doesn't mean they can't speak or don't understand. It's just normal. Some kid are chatty, some aren't. Something I've seen happen many many times as a preschool teacher is a kid turns 3, and suddenly they're a chatterbox. It is that sudden. They have their birthday and it's like a flip is switched. So I told my coworkers that of course we had to respect and help the mom with her concerns, but that personally I thought her kid was fine and would start talking when she turned 3. Well, the kid turned 3 last week, and guess what - even the week before that, she'd suddenly found her voice. She speaks in sentences and mostly clearly. I called it! haha. We are continuing our support plan for mom's sake, but I'm hoping to hear she's feeling better now that her daughter is talking.

But back to A - so the thing about kids like A is, they take so much time that you get really invested in them. Parents often worry that if their kid is a handful, the teachers will like them less and pay them less attention. Absolutely do be your kid's advocate - but as a teacher, I gotta say it's often the opposite! Much harder to pay as much attention to the kids who don't need much support. Because you're all taken up with the others! And we don't dislike kids just because they don't follow directions perfectly. If they did, they'd be freaky, like what are these robot children?? Challenging kids are a lot of work and you go home exhausted every day. But when they make progress, it's like the sun coming out after weeks of rain. It's amazing. You really feel so happy for them. And even if they don't make progress, you went through so much with them and got to know them so well that you just won't forget them.

I found out last week that after fighting hard to get A into our upper level school, his mom is withdrawing him. The reason isn't anything to do with his support or issues with the school or teachers, but an understandable family reason. I'm so sad though. I really wanted to watch A grow up. I was so, so worried about how the transition from my class to the new school would be for him. I heard from his teachers that he had a hard time at first. But now he trusts his new teachers. I went to help out at that school when they were understaffed and I got to see my students from last year including A. He was so happy to see me and I could see that he loved school.

So it's just a shame. I think he's the type of kid who would have continued to remember his former teachers as the years go by. He's a very affectionate type. It would have been amazing to see him three years from now at his graduation. I miss and wonder about all the students of mine that have left the school. A is just very recent so I'm feeling it the worst atm. I gave him too many hugs all year long to forget him so fast ;_;

[thirsty-4-ghouls]

More sole survivor headcanons (at least for my own little fish freak)

LONG POST

might even add more later, when people aren’t trying to talk to me.

She cannot travel alone. She will get twitchy and more on edge and start to think about things she doesn’t want to think about. Closest thing she has to therapy is trauma dumping on curie and she feels bad about doing that.

She lost pretty much everyone except codsworth in a DAY, she’s scared of being alone again and afraid of loss. She knew something was wrong with her the moment she found herself ready to attack and hide from any noise she heard before finding codsworth, but she thought it was because she didn’t have her medication anymore. She started to think it might be something new in addition to her past issues when she first tried to go somewhere alone, just for a bit, and started to feel like a feral cat who was cornered.

She has nightmares and insomnia.

Once she learned that some people survived as ghouls a small part of her brain has keept thinking about how she doesn’t really know what happened to her parents and siblings because she had moved to a different part of the country for school and marriage. The voice at the back of her mind keeps reminding her that someone might still be alive back there, what we would call states away, but the map was different for her.

She already had a history with depression and anxiety, this made things both easier and harder. She already knew some behavioral therapy, but was now unmedicated and had just experienced even worse trauma.

She barely ate or slept until they found kellogg and after realizing she didn’t have anything to chase, no hints or trails, she finally fell apart. That was her rock bottom and she wouldn’t leave ANY of her friends (and family, codsworth you are oldest fam alive, complicated then future dynamic with Shaun the first excluded) for longer than it took to use the bathroom. That was understandably annoying for her new friends but she started to get at least a little more put together as she made more friends and any progress on finding her son. She latched on to nick in a particularly interesting way. seeing him as a sort of father figure.

After killing Kellogg she struggled with trying to avoid alcoholism. She knew her family had a history of addiction and was scared of getting it herself. She knows how easy it is to use drugs as an escape, to self medicate, because her own brother struggled with it. It makes her more sensitive to the topic. She’s also had friends who had less than healthy coping mechanisms pre-war, regardless of her field of work, I mean, she could have been a defense attorney (I haven’t decided. It would be funny with her seeing nick as a dad though XD) Supporting people who have problems with it also reminds her of her family (in a really sad way). She’s even more scared of having it herself because she no longer gets her prescription drugs (pharmacy exploding and all that) but does pretty well, you can’t miss something you never tried! Right? Right??? Unfortunately she has tried alcohol.

Why I don’t say her finding Shaun the first and learning that he was involved in some fucked up shit and grew up without her was not her lowest point: she knew where her son was, she had a new goal (convince son to stop hurting people as much. Didn’t really work, but it was something) and she had more friends and had had more time to start to process the other deaths.

She gets sensitive when it comes to robots. Codsworth was her only family for awhile after all. Not in the sense of fighting any, she has fought some of everything at this point, it’s more when they get pushed around (which you know, is pretty standard. You look at something like you would a toaster and that’s how things go🤷‍♀️) she’s probably seen as a little weird because of that, but she is weird so it’s not like she cares too much. She’s more like that with some types of robot than others. She’s still biased 🤷‍♀️

She also doesn’t have trouble seeing synths as people, especially gen 3, because she’s just autistic about it. Do you call one identical twin a copy? One less of a person? No. This is like that at its core! There is just a lot more fucked up around that… like the replacing people. Not the synths faults though. She actually feels bad for them and the situations they get put in.

She likes to gnaw on things, especially after becoming a fish-woman. It’s a stim that gets her some weird looks.

The moment she realized Shaun had basically cloned himself and made a second Shaun her brain decided she just had two kids now, kind of like when rescues will give a momma cat an orphaned kitten. Different circumstances same vibes.

Her eyes reflect light, that changed with her other features as an adaptation for seeing in dark water. It can startle people.

She seems very social because of her loneliness and eagerness for helping others (it gives her a purpose besides ‘find son’) but she’s actually very nervous about interacting with others. She copes by seeing introductions as a performance and not just, awkward social interaction.

She’s a 5’3 toothpick of a woman and thus prefers ranged combat.

She was afraid of heights and still gets nervous at a certain point, but she’s gradually gotten used to the idea of high up=safe, hard to reach, defendable. Thus, she can occasionally be found chilling in strange places off the ground.

In the months before she got kicked out of the institute she may or may not have gone around stealing data. Copying files, what have you. No one asked her to, she just does that. Her room at the castle is full of boxes with files and hollotapes like a pirated library. This has happened almost every where she goes, even if she doesn’t actually steal anything, she’s a serial computer hacker. You can stop a fish from swimming ;3 can’t stop a nerd from asking questions.

That last headcanon was developed before I did far harbor and makes it incredibly funny when dima gets mad that you destroyed all that knowledge. My oc is just standing there like “you’d think that, wouldn’t you” the fact that you can’t say you stole it (since it’s not canon) makes it extra funny because she probably would withhold that information from a stranger, sort of estranged uncle? or not. She also set off the evacuation alarms before destroying the institute and has encountered survivors. Two OTHER things you can’t tell him. Basically it’s like “you destroyed the information” and she’s like ‘perhaps’

not to mention that her SON is a gen 3 synth, obviously she would want all the info she could get. It’s not like there are guide books for “how to parent a different human subspecies and the differences in morphology” at least not unless she writes one.

Being like “Is this an uncle?” And then learning he also replaced someone is like, again? This keeps happening. (Average person has zero mysterious relatives who replace people with copies of them. Replacing people relatives georg(s) are outliers and should not be counted)

she has a grudge against elder maxson and he probably barely knows who she is.

Fun fact I think is funny, she has pacified many creatures, including every type of mirelurk except queens. This means she has basically had the same control over every type except the queens… who control the others… she is a fish usurper.

I as the player couldn’t make myself do nuka world or join the brotherhood because “makes me feel bad and that’s not fun” :/ I still haven’t finished she railroad quest line though because I know they have brainwashed kids on there and it also treats me apart. Nothing happens if you just ignore finishing it in the game, but I imagine she’d have to make a decision at some point if all that was actually happening, and she’s going to side with her family and settlers, so maxson gets no genocide in her timeline.

“Oh but fallout is a post-apocalyptic game and you can’t always make perfect moral choices” I know a lot of people didn’t care about Shaun the first, but I am a softie who was focused on exactly one thing until Kellogg died… well…. Until I blew him up, and so it wasn’t easy for me to do the (in my opinion) right thing and blow the institute up. I’m having fun but I still make decisions I think are hard in the game, I just avoid some because I can 😅 that’s not mentioning smaller decisions.

She found pickman disturbing, it definitely traumatized her more, but I think it might have done something to her too considering the fact that she has dismembered corpses and arranged them to leave a message at least once… she’s not okay and we all break at some point. More than once. Several times actually.

This is getting way too long so I’ll stop. I understand if you unfollow me for my blorbo infodumping

Again, these are all headcanon and or ways I played my character. This doesn’t have to be yours and you don’t have to like it.

[christowhore]

Redeeming Myself

pairing: chris evans x professor!fem!reader

summary: after breaking your heart and losing your trust, chris makes it his mission to prove to you how much you mean to him.

word count: 6.3k

warnings: age gap (reader is 29, chris is 40), angst, reminiscing on past actions, fluff, talks with therapist, chris makes up for bad behavior, slight alcohol consumption, smut, happy endings, rpf !!! 18+ MINORS DNI !!!

notes: the final installment of Pining for Professor. it was only supposed to be a one shot, but i got inspired and expanded it. it took a while cause writers block, but it’s here. for anyone who has read the series, thank you and hope you enjoy ! 💓🥰

i do not allow the reposting, rewriting or translating of my fics. these are works of my own and i do not give permission for any of the acts stated above.

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SERIES MASTERLIST • MAIN MASTERLIST

For a month and a half following that afternoon, Chris began to go above and beyond to mend his mistakes in an effort to regain your trust.

He knew that he shouldn’t have been forgiven for the hurtful words he hurled at you, the voice he raised, and his cold demeanor through it all. But you forgave him nonetheless, which he was eternally grateful for.

Chris suspected that his venom-laced words still took a toll on your overall being. He sensed it in the way your usual humming was kept to a minimum, as did your soft caresses to his body. The fun facts that you would randomly blurt out had basically become nonexistent.

You hadn’t tried initiating sex with Chris due to still being affected by his actions, which was understandable to the brunette.

He could tell you were being cautious around him, which broke his heart more than he could’ve imagined.

The two of you never really talked in depth about what happened, deciding to push it under the rug and move past it. But ignoring the elephant in the room could only last for so long.

That morning was no different. He had spent the night at your place and decided to wake up and make you breakfast in an effort to mend the faltering relationship.

You woke up to an empty bed, something that you were used to since Chris had always been an early riser. Getting your morning routine out the way, you made your descent downstairs with the smell of pesto guiding you down the steps.

Walking into the kitchen, you saw the sight of your topless boyfriend, donning only a pair of boxers and an apron. You watched as he studiously focused on the skillet in front of him. His intense focus and the sounds of eggs frying in the pan made him oblivious to your arrival.

It wasn’t until you made your way towards the fridge next to him, that he registered your presence. “Morning princess, you sleep well.”

“Yeah, I slept fine,” your voice still a bit gravely from your slumber. You poured yourself a glass of orange juice, ignoring the intense gaze from Chris in your peripheral vision.

He was so used to having you touch him in the mornings. Not so much in a sexual way, but more intimately. The way your lips would ghost against his shoulder blade, your palms would hold his sides and pull him against you so that way you could bask in his warmth. Your arms would wrap around his front until your fingers absentmindedly toyed with his lower abdomen, playing with the wisps of hair on his happy trail.

He missed when you would move your lips until they met the space behind his ears, giving light open mouth kisses. The sound of you whispering ‘Morning daddy’ would leave him awestruck. Even though the words were a regular occurrence for him to hear, it was the way you would say it in your morning voice that made it ten times more special.

Though those actions might seem minuscule to others, they meant the world to him and it was killing him that he hadn’t been able to experience such tender moments with you in a while.

“I’m making breakfast- pesto eggs and some bacon for you. It’ll be done in a minute.”

You nodded along before heading to the table, phone in hand while catching up on your morning news.

It didn’t take long before a steaming plate was placed in front of you, the scent of garlic and basil already making you salivate.

Chris sat besides you and watched as you dug a fork into your meal, a smile reaching his face as he heard your content moans.

The two of you ate in silence, only the sound of soft chewing and utensils hitting your respective plates could be heard.

Every so often, you would feel Chris peek at you, hoping for you to start up a conversation with him like you always did. It’s not like you didn’t want to, it was just that you were still hurting due to his words. You know from a psychological standpoint that there was something going on inside of him that caused him to lash out, which you understood. But it didn’t aid in diminishing your apprehensiveness towards opening up to him, afraid that another fight would break out and hurtful words would again be hurled.

He could sense the internal struggle battling within you so he spoke up, breaking you out from your subconscious.

“I know I’ve been saying this repeatedly over the past few weeks, but I want you to know how sorry I am,” Chris sympathetically stated, “You didn’t deserve what I put you through, the things I said. I just hope that we're able to someday go back to how we were.”

You sat there staring at the man in front of you. Was there a way that the two of you can revert to what once was? Could you actually forgive him?

Not knowing how to properly respond, you simply nodded. A tight lipped smile was evidence that Chris had a lot of making up to do.

Finishing up breakfast, you excused yourself to your office to go and work on your dissertation, leaving the brunette alone with his thoughts.

He knew that he needed to do something big to make up for his actions. He also knew that he needed to figure out why he lashed out on you.

Taking out his phone, he clicked on a saved contact and listened to the dial tone ring in his ear.

“Morning, I’d like to make an appointment as soon as possible. It’s an emergency.”

Chris sat on the plush maroon couch, his eyes getting reacquainted with the familiar setting. The office had a few knick knacks littered around the space. A potted plant here and there. Motivational, yet cheesy posters on the wall. An assortment of magazines on the coffee table.

He hadn’t been here in a while, his usual talks were about his anxiety and dealing with fame. But for this appointment it was about you- specifically how he treated you.

The new topic was foreign to him, resulting in the brunette not knowing how to address it. So he silently sat there as his therapist, Dr. Reynolds, held her pen in her hand and studied his behavior.

“So,” she cautiously started, “What brings you in today?”

Chris sat there twiddling his fingers at her question. There could’ve been a few reasons that brought him in, but the main one was why he said the things he hurled at you.

He proceeded to spend the next 10 minutes recapping the events that had transpired, making sure to not spare any detail. After his spiel, Dr. Reynolds skimmed through her notes that she jotted down during his explanation.

Looking up from her notebook, she locked eyes with the brunette. “Do you think that some of your actions correlate with self-sabotaging behaviors? How, when you opened yourself up to her so suddenly it made you feel scared? Scared that you might need to face those fears that are plaguing you.”

Chris sat there incredulously, “Well- I mean no. I don’t think so.”

The pair talked for over an hour, going over the usual allotted time as they broke down why Chris had acted a certain way.

He realized the anger he felt was a coping mechanism to avoid feeling what he truly felt: fear. Mainly his fear of commitment. Part of him was scared that any future marriage would end up like his parents, in divorce. He feared that you would stop loving him. He feared that he would stop loving you.

And that fear was ultimately pushing you away from him. Which uncovered the biggest fear of all, losing you.

Dr. Reynolds eventually received a knock on her door, indicating a waiting patient, causing their therapy session to be cut and saved for another day.

“Thanks doc, I think I know what I need to do now.”

After some much needed self-reflection made in the meeting with his therapist, Chris knew what he had to do. Leaving the office, he pulled out his phone and dialed his publicist, Megyn.

A few rings later, he went into detail to the blonde about his plan. Not caring about what the press might say, or how his fans might react, he needed to get it done.

She wasn’t too keen on dealing with the impending press that would come from it, but she was happy that he was able to find someone that he truly loved.

He went back to your place that evening with a refreshed mind. The rest of the day went by as usual, you both did your own respective things, the tension still heavy in the air.

As you both started on your own night routine, his main focus was on you. He didn’t even know he stopped brushing and was staring until you snapped your fingers in front of his eyes.

“Earth to Chris, everything alright?” your tone was light and airy, hinted with a bit of joy.

Chris looked at the slight smile on your face and was reminded all over again as to why he fell for you. That smile was something that was so ingrained in his mind that not even old age could make him forget it. It warmed his entire being whenever he was sad and it made him realize he could never take it off your face for the rest of his days.

“Yeah princess,” he whispered, still lost in you, “I’m alright.”

You nodded along to him, though your eyes squinted a bit due to being curious of his change in demeanor. Before he was overly cautious around you, now it seemed as if he couldn’t get enough of you.

Before you could set your toothbrush down and set out for bed, he stopped you with a hand on your elbow, pulling you into him. Not caring that there were still dribbles of toothpaste in his mouth, he leant down and attached his lips to yours.

The kiss was soft, he was desperate to feel your softness against him though wasn’t trying to rush the act in any way. Moving his hand up, he held onto your cheek in an effort to pull you even closer than you already are.

The smell of your lavender night cream instantly calmed him, making him feel safe in your embrace and absentmindedly smiling into the kiss.

Chris finally pulled away, only slightly, to look down on you with a dopey grin. “God I’m in love with you.”

For the first time in weeks, a genuine smile reached your face to match the man across from you.

“I love you too love bug,” you sighed against his lips, “You probably should’ve rinsed your mouth though, I can taste your toothpaste.”

A deep chuckle rumbled from his chest, “Sorry, just got caught up in the moment.”

Chris kept you secured in his arms as he continued to stare down at you. There was something different about him, specifically the way his gaze was directed at you. Though you were not complaining.

“How about we bring back date night? I can cook and we can finally sit and talk to one another like we used to.”

Your heart fluttered in your chest at his pleas. It had been a while since you two sat down and basked in each other’s presence. The thought had you hopeful that things could go back to normal.

“I would love that,” you began, “How about Friday? I have a test for a few of my classes this week so we can do it once I’m all free.”

Chris smiled down at you with eyes evident of his admiration for you, “Friday is perfect.”

The rest of the week went on rather differently than previous ones. Your touches came back to his body, fingertips grazing alongside him whenever he was close. Chris would regularly kiss your cheek or top of your shoulder anytime he had the chance.

You did take notice of him on his phone a lot, part of it filled you with uneasiness but the rational part of your brain told you it wasn’t something to ponder too much over, so you let it go.

Chris had been spending the entire week making sure that his plan was rolling smoothly. He had the entire date night planned to a T. He informed his family about it, who were ecstatic for him, making his own mother tear up due to how happy she was. He made sure to have everything ready at the house so that everything would be successful.

The day of the planned affair, you were stuck in your home office grading the last set of tests before being able to officially clock out for the evening. Inputting the grades into Blackboard, you were brought out of focus due to the sounds of buzzing from your phone. Picking up the device, you unlocked it and saw the incoming text from your boyfriend.

Chris: Baby, I know you’re still probably finishing up, but dinner will be ready at my place at around 7. I put something on your bed for you to wear. See you soon!

The endearing message made you smile and also feel a bit elated. You missed the intimate moments shared between you and Chris. The loving looks sent your way, the delicious food and engaging conversations. But most importantly, you missed the sex. Before, the two of you were like jackrabbits, the longest you both went without getting hot and heavy was about 2 days. Now going on over two months, you were becoming insatiable.

Quickly inputting the final test scores in your online grade book, you got ready for your night in with Chris. Heading up the stairs, you walked into your room to be hit with a bit of nostalgia. Laying on the bed was the same black dress that you wore on your first date with him.

With the amount of dresses you had in your wardrobe, it was a shock that he was able to find the specific one you wore that night. The sentiment warmed your heart and filled you with hope.

Rushing to get ready, you went and got dressed, making sure that you appeared your best before heading out.

It was only a quick drive to his home, before you were sat in his driveway.

Your mind was plagued with worry. You feared that if this night didn’t go well, then it would ultimately mean the end of your relationship with the man. Taking in a deep breath, you calmed your nerves before exiting the vehicle and made the trek towards his front door.

Using the house key you still had attached to your own ring set, you unlocked the door and walked in though you didn’t get far when the sight before you made you stop and gasp.

Starting from the front door laid a trail of rose petals leading you through the house. The thoughtful effort made tears begin to form in your eyes and your breath unsteady.

Following the trail, the same smells of vegetables sautéing brought you back to that time over a year ago.

Once you made it inside the kitchen, you saw Chris with an apron adorning his massive frame on top of his suit. Once he took notice of your arrival he turned around and smiled at you. “There you are sweetheart. I was waiting for you to show.”

He turned down the fire before gliding towards you, about to reach down and kiss you when you beat him to it.

Grabbing a hold of either side of his face, you slammed your lips to his; the action surprising you both. You delivered him repeated pecks which caused the brunette to laugh between every one of your kisses.

Getting enough of your intimate fill, you pulled away from him and looked up. “What’s the special occasion? I mean I know it’s date night, but still.”

Chris brought his hands down to rest on the dip of your back before pulling you in closer to him. The action caused your neck to crane up to look directly into his eyes.

“I wanted to make things right with my best girl.”

You playfully rolled your eyes at the slight Captain America reference before delivering another kiss, “Thank you, I love it.”

The meal went according to plan, the two of you enjoying the same shrimp scampi dish he made on your first date together.

You were sipping on your glass of wine when you heard Chris speak up.

“Though I’ve said it more times than either of us can count, I need you to know how regretful I am of how I acted.”

You sighed at his words, “Chris, I said it’s-”

“No, it’s not okay (Y/N),” he interrupted you, “It wasn’t okay for me to lash out at you. It wasn’t okay for me to hurt your feelings.”

“Tonight, I tried to recreate our first date together to show you just how much you mean to me.”

Chris had rehearsed what he was planning on saying for the past few days, but here now in this moment he couldn’t remember a single prepared line. So he just decided to follow his heart.

“(Y/N). The day I met you, it was one of the greatest days of my life. It wasn’t supposed to happen, but fate brought us together- well I guess I should say Ma did with her insisting.”

His words caused you to chuckle, “I can see where you got your determination. She really didn’t quit until she finally got us in the same room.”

The memory of Lisa bringing you two together that afternoon warmed both of your hearts.

“That day we met was the day I knew that there was no one else in the world that would matter to me as much as you would. Every single day that I get the pleasure of seeing that look on your face will forever make me the luckiest man on the Earth. So when I hurled those words at you and took that smile away, it made me feel horrendous.”

You didn’t even realize you had started crying until you felt the warmth of your tears sliding down your cheeks.

Chris reached across the table and curled his fingers around your hand, slightly stroking the back of it with his thumb.

“I know I haven’t been the best boyfriend that I could be. I realized that my own fears of commitment caused me to take out my frustrations out on you, and absentmindedly pushed you away. But I realized that pushing you away was the last thing I ever wanted to happen.”

He felt his heart rate race and his organ beat heavily in his chest, his anxiety slowly rising.

“You are the greatest thing to happen to me. You make the worst days seem minuscule whenever you’re around. I love the way you’re able to always help push me through any obstacle I face, no matter how big or small it may be. The way you easily get along with my crazy family. And I love how you make me feel like I am floating on cloud nine anytime I kiss you.”

Chris felt his hands begin to sweat. One of his hands clasped onto yours, while the other held onto the small box in his left pocket of his slacks.

“A few days ago I had a session with my therapist about you. And during it I realized how much I care about you, and how losing you, even though it was brief, was the worst thing I had ever experienced.”

Slowly standing up on shaky legs, he brought you up with him.

“I had to secretly figure out the right size while you were sleeping the other night,” he began to joke, “You don’t know how hard it was to get the measurement done considering how light of a sleeper you are.”

You felt your heart pound in your chest. You suspected that something was different about his behavior and this evening, and your suspicions were slowly coming to light.

“I can’t ever experience the feeling of not having you by my side again. Waking up to a cold bed and not seeing the way your nose would sometimes crunch up while you're deep in a dream is something I never want to go through again.”

Chris reached into his pocket of his pants and pulled out a cherry red box. The sight of the gold inscription labeling 'Cartier' made your breath catch in your throat and tears fall freely down your face.

The height difference was changed when he steadily dropped down on his left knee, his tear filled blue eyes looking up at you.

“(Y/N), you make me the happiest man in the world. And I know it’s a stereotypical line for me to say, but it’s true. I love how you’re able to bring the best out of me and everyone around you. I love how you love everyone unconditionally. God, I love how fucking breathtaking you are. I am in love with everything about you.”

Letting go of your hand, he held the box in his grasp before cracking it open. The action caused your hands to cover your mouth and you to bend at the knees. With the aid of the lights around the room, it unveiled to you a marquise cut diamond. One either side were two stones. On the left was a pearl, indicating his June birthstone. The other side showed your gemstone, the rocks pairing perfectly with one another.

“So,” Chris began with a shaky breath, “(Y/N) (Y/L/N), will you do me the honor and make me the luckiest person in the world. Will you marry me?”

Your body shook with sobs as you nodded along to his question.

“Wait, are you saying yes?” Chris asked, excitement evident in his tone. “I don’t know if that’s you nodding yes or no.”

Removing your hands from your face you grasped on to your now fiancé’s, “Yes, I would love to marry you.”

Chris didn’t even get the chance to put the ring on you before raising up and slamming his lips against yours. Both of you tasting the salty tears that expelled from the other.

It was his turn to lay a continuous stream of kisses to your lips. Soft chants of ‘thank you’ leaving his mouth between every one.

Pulling away, he retrieved the ring from its box as you held up your left hand. You watched as he slid the band down your finger until it situated perfectly against the base. A content sigh left the both of you.

Chris brought your hand up and kissed the back of it and then your ring finger before locking eyes with you.

You two stayed like that for a while, your gaze flicking back and forth between each other’s lips until finally you two connected them.

This time, the embrace was intimate, more passion filled. Your hands folded against the nape of his neck, the coolness of the gold band making him smile with contentment.

With his hands holding onto your hips, he guided you back until you were met with resistance from the wall behind you; the sudden force causing you to lightly grunt into his mouth.

Lowering his hands until his palms rested on the back of your thighs, he tapped on your skin, an unspoken request for you to jump. While securing your hold on his neck, you jumped up and rested in his palms. With you in his hands, Chris began to walk the two of you towards his bedroom. Since Dodger was staying at his mom's house, he didn’t bother closing the door, not worrying about any sudden intrusion.

Your mouth was still attached to Chris when he laid you down, you head against the soft pillow on the plush bed. His frame towering over you as he shook off the suit jacket from his body, kicked off his shoes and toed his socks away.

“I love you so much (Y/N),” he swooned through kisses.

“I love you too Chris.”

Untying the front of your wrap dress, the silk material fell to the sides of your body, revealing your figure which was only covered by a thin, lace pair of underwear. The sight of your half naked self made him growl down at you in desire.

Removing his lips from yours, he descended down your body, leaving kisses in his wake.

“You’re all mine.”

His lips kissed around your taut nipple, his tongue poking out to flick at your pert bud.

“Forever and always.”

You felt him leaving traces of wetness from open-mouth kisses on your abdomen.

“The love of my life.”

His fingers dug into the sides of your thong before dragging it down your legs.

“My beautiful fiancé.”

You breathing hitched as you felt his warm breath fan across your exposed cunt. The hot air was a stark contrast to the cool slick of your dripping wetness.

“The future Mrs. Evans.”

And with that, Chris flattened out his tongue before running a long stripe up your pussy, lapping up your wetness until he curled it around your clit. “Oh fuck, Chris.”

How exhausting the sexual hiatus that you experienced with the brunette was evident due to how you were squirming on the bed. Your hands spread throughout the sheets, gripping and tugging in an effort to gain some form of steadiness. Over two months without having him on you had you mewling into the air. “Please baby, don’t stop.”

With his tongue occupied, Chris continued to devour you. His tongue alternated between long drags and quick flicks between your folds. You felt the tip of his tongue prod at your opening in a desperate attempt to taste more of you- to feel more of you.

Removing his mouth, he heard you begin to groan in disappointment before it turned into a moan when he spat on your cunt then suctioned his lips around your clit. With one hand holding your stomach down, he used the other to enter your soaking hole with his index and middle fingers.

Chris was gentle with his digits inside of you, dragging his pads alongside your ways, stroking your contracting walls and feeling every ridge. Once he was knuckle deep, he scissored your cunt, basking in the sounds of your squelching around his fingers paired with your content moans of relief.

He replaced his mouth with his thumb, using the limb to draw slow, tortuous circles on your mound as he watched you fall into the deep recesses of ecstasy.

He observed your neck stretch back, exposing a slightly bulging vein running up the expanse. The way your lips quivered as your moans flew freely out. Your legs began to shake when he hit the spot he was all too familiar with deep in your core.

“Look at me,” Chris demanded, his Boston accent evident in his request, “Need’a watch my pretty girl cum all over my fingers.”

The eye contact with the brunette was intense, more fierce than ever experienced before, but you reveled in every second of it. You noticed how his pupils had become blown out, only showing a small ring of blue surrounding the black.

You tried to keep the gaze locked until you felt your orgasm come full force through your body like a tidal wave. “Christopher!”

Upon hearing your screech of desire and feeling your essence begin to soak his digits, he replaced his thumb back with his mouth, longing to taste every single drop of your sweetness. His fingers continued to pump inside of you, prolonging your release and causing more of your juices to flow into and around his mouth.

Chris finally removed his fingers to drink more of you until you attempted to feebly push his head away, the orgasm causing you to lose most of your strength.

“Sorry princess, you know Daddy just can't get enough of you,” Chris moaned as he licked your essence off his lips.

He rose up your lower half and hovered over you staring down at your exhausted self. You mustered the power to raise your arms and grasp his face in your hands before bringing him down to connect lips once more.

The kisses were lecherous, the both of you yearning to taste every single part of the other. Your tongue was firm against his as he massaged yours while you swallowed each other's moans.

Your body felt on fire with the way his large hands were massaging and caressing every inch of your exposed skin. His fingers digging into your softness and pulling you flush against his frame.

Taking your hands away from his face, you began to unbutton his dress shirt, peeling away the material until it unveiled his tattooed chest. Your fingers tracing the large design on his chest before making its way down to his belt, unbuckling it in the process.

Dragging the leather through the loops and away from his body, you unzipped his trousers before reaching in to palm his obvious erection. The action made the man above you keen against your tongue. “I wanna taste you Chris.”

With your thighs around his hips, you nudged him until your positions were switched. His head against the same pillow, he watched as you tugged down the material on his lower half, leaving the two of you completely bare for one another.

You laid down on your stomach between his legs before grabbing hold onto the base of his cock, drawing a hiss from Chris.

His head craned back at the feel of your wet mouth tonguing his length, the wet muscle licking a stripe from the base to his tip. “Ohh- that's it baby.”

You collected your spit before it dripped from your mouth and on his head, the liquid cascading down the massive length. Using it for your advantage, you began to stroke him while attaching your lips around his tip. Your tongue flicked his slit while drinking up his precum.

“God, I love you so much (Y/N).”

Removing one of your hands, you began to swallow his length, stroking off what you couldn’t take down. His moans and groans only stir you on as you bask in the feel of him throbbing in your mouth. With your free hand, you began to palm at his balls; the action making him grip the sheets as well as tenderly holding the side of your head.

His mouth was parted, showing only his tongue, as he panted out. “That’s it baby, such a good girl for me.”

Chris felt his peak slowly approaching, the buildup steadily growing with every swipe of your tongue, suction from your lips and tug at his balls. Though he would’ve loved to release down your throat and watch your mouth milk his balls, he wanted- needed to feel your warmth surrounding him as he coated your walls.

He went to unlatch you from his cock and raise you towards him. “I need to feel you,” he breathed out, “I miss the feel of you around me (Y/N).”

You crawled up his body til you were straddling his hips. Reaching down, you pumped his length a few times before positioning it for entry. The second you began the descent and his head met the resistance from your cunt, you both groaned out.

Chris couldn’t wait any longer so he brought his hands to your hips and fully sank you down on him, sheathing his entire cock inside of you. The action made you lurch forward with your hands planting themselves on his chest in search of stability.

“Oh that’s it princess,” professed Chris, “Missed this tight fucking cunt choking my cock. Missed you so goddamn much.”

With the help of his hands on your hips, you began to slowly work yourself on his dick. Every rise and fall of your hips made you experience the delectable feel of his veined shaft drag against your channel.

“Oh Christopher,” you cooed as you felt him throb inside of you.

“That’s it princess, I’m right here.”

You brought your hands from off of him and covered his large ones. Removing them from your body, you intertwined digits. The new position of your hands allowed the newly added engagement ring to gleam under the light.

If he had a camera, he would’ve wanted to capture the beauty of you in that moment. Every buck of your hips caused your breasts to bounce, the action enticing him even more than already. The sweat that began to form on your body caused your body to shine from the bedroom lights, making your body appear as if it were glowing.

He wanted to frame the glorious sight of you, but he decided to settle with the fact of knowing he would be able to recreate this exact moment for the rest of his life. Recreate with you as husband and wife.

He rose up from the mattress and maneuvered your legs to wrap around his waist before sitting on his haunches. The new position of your naked chest pressed up against his own while he fucked you on his cock was a sort of intimacy that couldn’t be explained.

The closeness of your faces allowed you to feel each other’s breaths warm your features. You could see pupils being blown, feel the sweat dripping off one another, and hear every single sound that escaped the other's mouth.

Attaching his lips to yours, Chris moaned into your mouth. “That’s it baby, cream all around my cock. Milk me til I fill you up with my cum.”

The heels of your feet dug into his lower back and your fingertips gripped onto his neck, leaving scratches in its wake.

You knew for certain that you would have bruises on your waist with the way he had latched onto you, raising you up and down his length.

With every thrust, your sweaty skin slapped together as his balls spanked up against your ass.

“Ahh baby, I- fuck Chris I’m almost there.”

“I know (Y/N), I’m right behind you.”

A few more harsh thrusts as his tip slammed against your g-spot and you were suddenly slammed into the blissful abyss of your orgasm. The tightness of your contracting walls caused Chris to achieve his own release. The shouting sounds of you two reaching your respective peaks echoed throughout the room.

Warmth flooded your body and your cunt as you felt Chris’s cock shoot ribbons of his seed deep into you. He continued to drag you along his length, hoping to prolong the glorious feeling of your pussy throbbing around him.

After the sensation of your peak began to wane, he fell back against the mattress, bringing you down with him.

The two of you laid there in each other’s arms, basking in the warmth radiating off the other.

Chris strokes your back, long traces of his thumb running along your spine as you both regain your breath.

“I’m in love with you (Y/N). So goddamn much.”

Still a little too spent, you nodded while your hands toyed around with his chest.

While you two sat there, a realization popped into the brunette's head, making him begin to stand up. “I’ll be right back.”

You watched his ass jiggle with every step out of the room, the sight making you chuckle. When he returned, he held his phone in his hand.

“Seriously Christopher, you wanna make a sex tape right now?”

A boisterous laughter left him at your assumption, “No sweetheart, not that.”

Chris sat back next to you on the bed as he scrolled through his phone gallery. After a few flicks on his thumb, he finally found the photo that you two took on your first date. You were as beautiful as ever, smiling at the camera as he looked in awe at you.

You watched as he loaded up Instagram and clicked on the plus sign to create a new post. “Chris, what are you doing?”

“Something I should’ve done a long time ago.”

Choosing the desired photo, he went to begin typing out his caption that would unveil you to the world.

chrisevans: A little over a year ago this photo was taken on our first date. I knew from that moment that I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life, that’s why I eagerly asked you to be mine. (Y/N) you make me the happiest man that I could be. I know this past year and a half has been a tough one, especially with everyone in the world claiming that they were dating me while I kept you in the shadows, but enough is enough. There’s no one else that I would rather be with. There’s no one in this entire world that holds a candle to you. To your beauty, your kindness, your everything. You are the love of my life. As of tonight, my fiancé. And soon to be my wife. I love you more than words can describe princess. (Y/@/N)

Chris finished typing out his message before looking down at you, silently asking for approval. He watched as your index finger raised up and clicked on the share button, indicating the end of your secrecy.

A dopey smile made his face before he looked at you, phone in hand, “Now, about that sex tape.”

You laughed at his joke as he made his way to kiss you once more. The embrace was full of contentment due to knowing that things were back to normal with a growing relationship full of unwavering love, reinstated trust, and pure happiness.

A/N: and that's a wrap folks. thank you to everyone who read this series.

also i would like to say that this is in no way an indication of chris evans personality or character. this is just fiction.

if you enjoyed this, please make sure to reblog and comment. feedback is much appreciated !

* divider credits : @firefly-graphics *

[harrytpotter]

What’s Happening To Me? — OneShot

Plot: James Potter was starting to feel more and more overprotective towards his friend Y/N and considerably annoyed at the blatant flirting she and one of his best friends were displaying publicly and at the thought she might be falling for Sirius. What was happening to him?

Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Reader.

Word Count: 5,9K.

A/N: I just had revised this long-ass story entirely and was pretty proud at the summary i came up with just for Tumblr to mess up with my post and erase its entire content, only leaving the title behind. Now i can’t remember the previous summary i wrote and am pissed about it. Anyways, I love writing for James and it shows. I won’t revise this again because i really am annoyed at tumblr so apologies in advance for any mistakes! :)

James tried to concentrate on Slughorn’s voice as the professor went on and on about whatever potion they were going to start working on during next week. He was really doing his best to absorb his words, but an extremely flirty pair beside him was making this task nearly impossible. He knew this was just for show since Sirius wanted to make Marlene jealous and Y/N kindly agreed to help him out, but all of this was still bothering him for some reason. Maybe it was because he knew Sirius way too well to know for sure he was enjoying this situation a little too much. Maybe it was because he cared about Y/N enough to bother if Sirius was going to end up hurting her somehow. He couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

“Merlin, would you two stop? It’s getting annoying,” he hissed at Y/N and Sirius, whom had been all giggly and touchy for the entire class.

“Does it bother you to see a happy couple in love, Prongs?” Sirius teased, barely suppressing a laugh.

“I’m just trying to pay attention to class,” he mumbled annoyed, his fists clenching slightly.

“Don’t be mean to him, Sirius!” Y/N bumped her fist on his arm. “He’s bitter because Lily is still turning him down despite his best efforts,” Y/N looked at James sympathetically as if saying she was sorry for him.

James sighed heavily at the mention of Lily’s name. Sure, it did annoy him that she was still rejecting his attempts of woo her, but, if he was being quite frank, it didn’t bother or frustrate him like it used to. If anything, it just... he didn’t even know anymore. Why he was still chasing her. Why he was still trying to get her to go out with him. It was seeming more and more pointless lately. He wasn’t sure if he was still pinning after her for a purpose or solely for the challenge.

“Earth to James!” Y/N waved her hand in front of James’ eyes. “You there?”

James tilted his head a little so his best friend’s face could enter his visual field. Her y/h/c hair was loose in a messy way that suited her perfectly, matching harmonically her hypnotic y/e/c eyes. She had a natural confidence that seemed to radiate from her body and wrap every single soul in the room. She was truly effortlessly magnetic. James started feeling flustered suddenly, unbeknownst to why.

“You alright there, mate?” Sirius asked with a brow lifted, staring at him.

“Never better, Pads!” James shot a cocky grin his way, brushing off the unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach.

James fell unusually quiet for the short rest of the class, his mind flickering between Y/N and Sirius and Lily. Everything just seemed so... out of place right now. He didn’t even notice Slughorn dismissing the class until Y/N tapped gently on his shoulder.

“Are you coming, Jamesy?” She asked, Sirius wrapping her against his chest. “Everyone else is already gone.”

“Sure...” James mumbled, still a little airy. His eyes wandered from Sirius’ tight grip around Y/N to her hand gently holding his wrist as her thumb caressed his skin lightly.

“Hurry up, Prongs! We can’t be late for lunch, I have a special surprise for my love here,” Sirius lifted Y/N’s chin gently whilst staring devilishly into her eyes.

James once again felt the same unsettling feeling he did before in the pit of his stomach when he noticed a subtle pink tone brushing through Y/N’s cheeks for a split second as she stared dumbfounded at Sirius.

“You two realize Marlene isn’t even here anymore to witness your annoying flirt, don’t you?” James asked his friends grumpily.

“Would you lighten up for Merlin’s sake, Prongs? Love is never annoying!” Sirius winked at him.

“Love might not be but you certainly are, darling,” Y/N retorted teasingly at Sirius, who took his free hand to his chest in mock offense.

“I usually grow on people, do you know that? Don’t you be so quick on biting the hand that feeds you,” he winged his brows at their amused female friend.

“You really are a complete prat, Sirius Black!” Y/N rolled her eyes with a large grin.

They were so invested on teasing each other that they had seemingly forget about James’ presence. The Gryffindor Quidditch captain spat an annoyed goodbye at his friends before storming off the classroom.

Y/N frowned and mentioned to follow James, but Sirius quickly grabbed her gently by the arm, stopping her from doing so.

“What are you doing? We have to go check on him! Haven’t you noticed how annoyed he left?” She lifted a brow at the grey-eyed boy.

“I did, indeed. But I also have noticed that he seems a little too annoyed at us lately, specially at me,” he narrowed his eyes thoughtfully.

“Your point? He’s probably still frustrated at his last unsuccessful attempt of wooing Lily,” Y/N sighed.

“Oh, love, believe me, this has nothing to do with Lily. I know Prongs way too well, better than he knows himself, if I may add.”

“Are you implying he’s in love with you?” Y/N exploded in a loud laugh. “Of course it has to do with Lily. It always has something to do with Lily.”

Sirius narrowed his eyes whilst a mischievous grin took over his face. Y/N did a pretty good job in hiding her annoyance when she mentioned Lily’s name, but Sirius could read his y/h/c friend like an open book. He noticed it.

“What now?” She frowned at him.

“Nothing, love. Nothing at all. Come, let’s sit by the Black Lake, shall we? It’s too much of a beautiful day to spend it locked indoors,” he winked knowingly at his friend whilst taking her by the hand, another plan taking form inside his mind.

——————————————————————

“Where are Padfoot and Y/N?” Remus asked no one in particular as he glanced around the Gryffindor table at lunch time.

“Haven’t seen them since Potions this morning,” Peter shrugged uninterested.

“They’re probably snogging somewhere,” James said bitterly, his eyes glued on his food.

Remus lifted a brow at James whilst Peter blinked his eyes in confusion.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Remus asked him with a furrowed expression.

“There’s nothing to read into it. I just meant what I said,” James shrugged, a grimace on his features as he looked at Remus and Peter.

“But Prongs...” Peter whispered as quietly as he could without being incomprehensible. “We know this between them is just for show.”

“Do we? Please, Wormy. You know Padfoot. We all do,” James said calmly. “It’s just a matter of time until they cross the line, assuming they haven’t already.”

“What if they have? It’s not like it’s any of our business,” Remus narrowed his eyes thoughtfully at the messy-haired boy.

“But it is!” James exclaimed exasperatedly. “Y/N is also our friend, why do I seem like I’m the only one who cares about her wellbeing?! Padfoot is smitten with Marlene, you know that Moony. Y/N is the one who’ll end up getting hurt amidst this craziness.”

“Y/N is a smart girl, Prongs. She’s not naive. I highly doubt she or Padfoot himself will do something as stupid as that,” Remus shrugged before taking a piece of turkey to his mouth.

James bit his tongue and returned his gaze to his nearly untouched plate. He really hoped both Y/N and Sirius were smart enough to prevent what could only be described as a catastrophe, at least in his eyes. Just the thought of his best female friend being hurt by Sirius’ reckless actions made him feel like punching something. Or, more accurately, someone.

A loud sound of giggles snapped James out of his thoughts and drove him to wander his eyes to the big doors that separated the Great from the Entrance Hall. Holding hands, Y/N and Sirius were all smiles as they entered the room and approached their table.

“You almost missed the meal,” Peter scolded them with a motherly tone.

“Worry not, my dear Wormtail! We already ate,” Sirius winked at him.

“How’s that possible? You’ve just arrived,” Remus lifted a brow at Sirius.

“We raided the kitchen,” Y/N shrugged as she took a seat next to Remus.

Sirius plunk down by Y/N’s side and wrapped her in his arms guilelessly, playing with a lock of her hair. Nothing different than his usual behavior — since he and Y/N were pretty close friends themselves — but enough to drive James off the edge.

“You alright there, mate?” Sirius asked him for the second time that day, looking even more amused then he did firstly.

James blinked at the sudden attention as his other three best friends stared at him inquisitively. He only then realized how tense his body was and the tight grip he had around his fork. His knuckles were white due to how much pressure he was putting into it. The Gryffindor boy relaxed with a couple of deep breaths before letting his fork rest by the side of his plate.

“Hey, Prongs!” Peter whispered excitedly, breaking the awkward silence that fell upon the usually-very-talkative Marauders. “Fourth person on your left... look who’s staring at you!”

James gladly allowed his focus to shift from Y/N and Sirius as he looked to where Peter had told him. He lifted his brows in surprise as he’s met by Lily’s eyes, a small and shy smile forming on her face as their eyes locked. James returned her smile, waiting for the butterflies to flutter his stomach as they always did whenever he used to have some kind of interaction with the redhead. But they didn’t come at all. Not this time.

“What the bloody hell is happening to me?” He thought to himself as he forced himself to hold Lily’s stare for what seemed like forever.

“Looks like someone is finally wooing the girl of their dreams,” Remus teased after James broke off the eye contact.

“It was about time! I don’t think I could stand another year of this pitiful chase, it was getting quite embarrassing mate,” Sirius joked, earning amused laughs from both Peter and Remus.

“Would you three stop already?” Y/N rolled her eyes. “I’m happy for you, Jamesy. Don’t mind them,” she reached for his hand across the table and gave it a light squeeze. A sweet smile on her lips.

James felt his stomach leaping like crazy inside of him at her touch. He furrowed his brows at the unknown feeling, his hand lingering on hers a while too longer.

——————————————————————

“You’re staring,” Remus pointed out without taking his eyes off his book.

“I’m not!” James denied quickly. “I’m just thinking about what to write on my essay.”

“Is your essay stamped on Y/N’s and Sirius’ faces?” The boy with chocolate eyes teased.

“Don’t you think they’re spending way too much time together?” James asked as he stared at Y/N and Sirius laughing together in a distant corner inside the Common Room. Y/N’s cheeks were flustered due to how hard Sirius was making her laugh.

“Meaning?” Remus’ attention was now solely on James as he studied his friend with a quirked eyebrow.

“Meaning they’ve got other friends outside each other, you know?!” James sounded a lot more harsh than he ever planned to.

The sound of Y/N’s laugh echoed in the room once more. She sounded like a 4-year-old laughing, it was absolutely adorable and completely contagious. James couldn’t help a small smile to spread across his face. He then caught himself wishing he could make her laugh like that. His face fell suddenly as he wondered why this thought would ever cross his mind.

“If it bothers you so much why don’t you just talk to her about it?” Remus shrugged, his focus back on his book.

James reflected on his friend’s advise for a short while until his vision got red again as Sirius trailed his fingers across Y/N’s back whilst whispering something into her ear. James closed his book with a loud bang, startling Remus and other few students who sat close to them.

“Where the bloody are you going?” Remus asked as his friend got on his feet and started gathering his things.

“Somewhere I can actually study,” James mumbled before moving in the direction of the portrait hole.

James wandered aimlessly through the castle, both his mind and heart racing and pounding with questions and emotions. Was he losing his mind? He didn’t know what was happening to him, why or how it started and neither how to make it stop. Y/N didn’t seem nearly as bothered at Sirius’ blatant advances, so he shouldn’t be either, right?!

As James’ feet stopped suddenly on their own, his surroundings came into focus once again and he caught himself staring back at him in a bathroom mirror. He rested his books on top of the nearest sink and took his glasses off, throwing a quick splash of water in his face and leaning over so he could rest his hands on the basin marble.

“What’s happening to me?” He mumbled to his own reflexion.

——————————————————————

“Gather around, kids!” Slughorn said proudly in front of a cauldron as the students started arriving for the Potions class.

Y/N, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter approached the Professor and peeked curiously into the cauldron content. A mother-of-pearl sheen liquid with a spiraling steam lied inside of it. Y/N shifted uncomfortably on her feet as she instantly recognized what the potion with such an unusual shine was.

“Oh...” Sirius whispered not so quietly into her ear with an annoying teasing tone, wrapping his arm on her shoulders.

“Oh Indeed, Mr. Black,” Slughorn grinned amusedly at the raven-haired boy. “Perhaps Miss Y/L/N could tell us what this potion is?”

“Amortentia, Sir. The most powerful love potion in the world. It causes a powerful infatuation or obsession from the drinker. It is distinctive for its mother-of-pearl sheen, and steam rises from the potion in spirals. It’s also known by its smelling properties. Amortentia smells different to each person, according to what — or should I say who — attracts them,” Y/N promptly answered the Professor’s question.

The room was dead silent as everyone stared at the cauldron with great interest after Y/N’s words. Especially the girls, whom all eyed the liquid furtively.

“Very good, Miss L/N! Ten points to Gryffindor!” Slughorn rumbled satisfied.

“That was hot,” Sirius joked, winking at Y/N.

James clenched his teeth as he stared at Sirius, feeling increasingly annoyed at the ever so blatant flirt and not hearing Slughorn asking for a volunteer to smell the potion in front of the entire class.

“Oh, Mr. Potter!” Slughorn exclaimed, dragging his attention back to the class. “Come here now, don’t be shy,” the teacher motioned for him to approach the cauldron.

Looking around, James realized the entire class stepped back and he was standing considerably afar from them. Gulping, the always-so-brave-and-carefree Gryffindor boy slowly started to walk to the cauldron, feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders.

“Just go already, mate! We all know you’re gonna smell something Lily-related anyway!” Sirius shouted from behind him, earning laughs from almost the entire student body present at the class.

“I highly doubt he will,” Lily said out of the blue, making James stop suddenly on his feet and turn around to face her.

“What was that, love?” He quirked an eyebrow at her with a devilish smile. There was nothing that turned him on more than a challenge.

“I said you wouldn’t smell me. My bet is on something Quidditch-related. But I’ll tell you what, if you do smell anything that actually has something to do with me, I’ll let you take me out on a date,” Lily crossed her arms against her chest defiantly.

That was it, the moment James had been waiting for ever since he first laid his eyes on Lily. The moment he thought would be the happiest of his life. The moment that would leave him feeling over the moon of joy. But nothing of this happened. Sure, it felt satisfactory to finally achieve a long-term goal and finally convincing Lily, but that was it. Just it.

“Go on, Potter! We don’t have all day!” Someone among the Slytherin students shouted, clearly excited to see the outcome of the proposal.

James then walked to Slughorn and stood in front of the cauldron, facing his fellow Gryffindors and the Slytherin crowd.

“Now, Mr. Potter, close your eyes and take a deep breath,” Slughorn instructed as he stepped aside and left James and the cauldron all alone in the spotlight. “And then let us know what you smelled!”

James did exactly as Professor Slughorn had told him to. At first, nothing happened, and then, suddenly, a powerful wave of the most endearing and hypnotic smell enveloped him and raided all of his senses. The smell was an intoxicating mixture of patchouli, sandalwood and cranberry. His eyes widened open as he instantly recognized where he had already smelled this. It was her smell. Y/N’s signature smell.

James’ eyes searched the little crowd furiously until they landed on Y/N. She was inspecting her nails, weirdly quite interested. He wanted to shout so she could look at him. He wanted to lock eyes with her and tell her what he had just smelled. He wanted to run at her and sweep her off her feet, spin her around and tell her what had been in his heart unbeknownst to him this whole time. He now knew what was happening to him.

“Mr. Potter?” Slughorn’s voice alerted James that he and the entire class were waiting for his answer.

James nodded at the Professor and allowed his eyes to land on Y/N once again before finally answering him. However, what he witnessed made his stomach sink. Y/N was whispering something into Sirius’ ear and his left hand was clutched on her waist.

“So that’s why she wouldn’t look at me,” he thought bitterly at himself.

James’ eyes wandered to Lily, a sudden frustration invading him. The redhead looked at him expectantly, unlike Y/N, who was too immersed on Sirius to notice the longing looks he had been sending her way lately. Sighing, James made a stupid decision in the heat of the moment.

“I smell vanilla and lilies,” he announced to Slughorn, knowing very well Lily smelled like that.

When he turned around to face the class again, Y/N and Sirius were nowhere to be found. Lily on the other hand, was standing right where she was, blinking with a dumbfounded expression.

——————————————————————

“Please, Sirius, don’t make me go in there,” Y/N begged Sirius as they approached the Three Broomsticks. She knew exactly what she was going to witness once they went into the establishment.

“Come on now, Y/N! Marlene is going to be there with Alice, please?” He gave her his best puppy eyes as he implored.

“How long will we have to keep up with this?” She asked, pointing back and forth between the two of them.

“Until she admits she has the hots for me,” he winked at his best friend, who simply rolled her eyes at him.

When they entered the pub, their eyes instantly fell on the table where a certain couple was having their first date. Sirius squeezed Y/N’s hand as he noticed her gaze lingering on James’ back.

“Let’s get this over with, shall we?” She mumbled, pulling Sirius by the hand to a distant table where Remus, Peter, Alice and Marlene sat chatting happily.

“Finally! Where the two of you were?” Remus exclaimed as Y/N and Sirius approached them.

“We were a little... busy, Moony,” Sirius winked suggestively at his friends. “Seems like I’m simply irresistible to my sunshine here.”

Marlene rolled her eyes at them, clearly beyond annoyed at Y/N’s and Sirius’ presence.

“Y/N, tell me, how can you possibly tolerate him, darling?” Remus teased as he noticed Marlene’s annoyance and Sirius’ proud grin.

“I usually keep my lips on his for as long as I can so he can’t speak. That’s the key,” Y/N shrugged, getting into character.

Remus, Peter, Alice and even Marlene laughed at Sirius’ shocked expression at Y/N’s comeback. She forced herself to laugh as well even though she was feeling everything but joy right now.

Stealing a glance in James’ direction, their eyes locked for a while before he drove his attention back to Lily and Y/N felt the sudden need of fresh air.

“I have to use the loo. Be right back,” Y/N mumbled at her friends whilst getting up.

The chit-chat ceased quickly as three of the Marauders and the two girls observed the y/h/c girl shy away from them.

“So, how’s our plan going, babe?” Marlene asked excitedly to Sirius as soon as they couldn’t see Y/N anymore, linking her arm in his.

Before Sirius could say anything, Remus cut him off asking with a much shocked tone of voice: “What plan are you two talking about? Didn’t Marlene despised you like you told us when you’ve asked Y/N for help to make her jealous? Why is she calling you babe? What is going on here?”

“Hold your wolves, would ya Moony? We’ll explain everything,” Sirius grinned. “I did tell Y/N that but Marlene and I had already been sneaking around unbeknownst to general knowledge.”

“Was that supposed to enlighten me?” Remus quirked a brow at him.

“Let me explain, for Merlin’s sake!” Marlene lifted a hand in front of Sirius as he opened his mouth to start talking. “We were snogging in an empty classroom under James’ invisibility cloak this one time when he and Y/N suddenly sneaked in as they ran away from Filch-“

-

“Oh, Sirius,” Marlene mumbled pleasantly at the raven-haired boy who was brushing his lips against her neck teasingly.

“Do you like that?” He asked softly.

“Ye-Yeah,” she muttered in response amidst a heavy sigh.

The couple was suddenly startled as the classroom door clicked open and was quickly closed again with an explosion of giggles. They quickly parted as they stared confusedly at Y/N and James, whom were out of breath and leant against the dark and old rock-wall, hands clutched together.

“Merlin, did you see Filch’s face?” James asked with a laugh.

“I honestly thought he’d spit fire,” Y/N answered with a snore, her face completely flustered from all the running.

James stared at his friend in a comfort silent for quite some time, as if he was engraving her every feature in his mind. “Godric, you’re beautiful.”

Sirius gasped at his friend’s words. Marlene’s mouth fell open.

It was only when Y/N’s eyes widened that James realized he had said that out loud.

“I-I mean, you’re quite alright for a girl and everything, mate,” he added quickly, making even more of a fool out of himself.

“Yeah... thanks, mate,” Y/N answered with a furrowed expression. She was clearly embarrassed as well. “We should probably get going before Filch comes back. Where did you leave your bloody cloak anyway?”

“I’m not sure, I couldn’t find it anywhere. Sirius must’ve borrowed it,” he shrugged, opening the door and checking the outside surroundings for any sign of Filch. “Let’s go!” He grabbed Y/N by the hand and led her out of the classroom, closing the door behind them.

“Did he just say what I heard?” Sirius checked with Marlene just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating as he tossed the invisibility cloak on the floor.

“He actually did,” she answered, a little shocked herself. “Not that it was surprising in any way, I mean, it‘s quite obvious he has it bad for her, I just didn’t think he’d ever notice, he pinning after Lily and everything,” Marlene shrugged.

“I don’t think he reckoned his feelings just yet, James can be a bit of a thick-head sometimes.”

“A bit? And just sometimes? The lad has been chasing after the same girl - who wants nothing to do with him if I may add - for almost six whole years. He definitely is a big time thick-head,” Marlene quirked a brow at Sirius.

“You’re right...” he mumbled thoughtfully. “We have to do something, they’ve got too much pride to ever admit their feelings for each other.”

Marlene shot him a grin as the perfect idea crossed her mind, “have you told anyone about us?”

“Not yet.”

“Good, here’s what we’re going to do...” Marlene started to explain him how he’d tell everyone she didn’t want anything to do with him and then ask for Y/N’s help to make her jealous in front of all of his friends. She made sure to let him know he was supposed to flirt hard with Y/N when James was around.

-

“Did you really have to make the beginning so... graphic?” Alice asked with a grimace once Marlene had told them the entire story.

“Agreed!” Remus quirked his brows at the secret couple. “But I have to say, this idea was quite... clever.”

“It really was,” Peter nodded excitedly. “Padfoot definitely stroke a nerve by flirting with Y/N in front of Prongs.”

“And so did Lily by pretending she was finally interested in him,” Marlene smiled proudly at herself.

“Wait... what?” Sirius looked utterly shocked as he asked her.

“Yeah, sorry about that, but I thought it’d look more... realistic if you didn’t know that. You care about Y/N, you wouldn’t bare seeing her hurt without letting her know the truth,” Marlene shrugged at her boyfriend.

“Woman... you are the love of my life,” Sirius grinned devilishly at her, taking her hand in his and kissing her knuckles.

-

“That prick...” James mumbled at himself as he clenched his fists at the sight of Sirius flirting and touching Marlene. Didn’t he have no respect for Y/N? He literally just waited until she turned her back to be a complete prat.

“What?” A bored Lily asked.

James realized he had been staring at their friends table basically ever since Y/N and Sirius first showed up, leaving Lily hanging. But, truth be told, the date sucked even before that. He and Lily had zero chemistry, zero common ground, zero... everything. They definitely didn’t belong together.

“Look Evans...” he started after a heavy sigh, looking for the right words.

“This date sucks,” Lily completed as she shrugged in relief. “I know.”

“Well, I’d probably be way more gentle than that, but... that’s what I was trying to say,” he laughed.

“You didn’t smell vanilla and lilies when you inhaled Amortentia, did you?” She quirked a brow at him.

“No...” he furrowed apologetically. “I smelled patchouli, sandalwood and cranberry. As in-“

“Y/N’s artisanal perfume,” she cut him off with a smirk. “Why did you lie you idiot?”

“In my defense, I was gonna tell the truth but then... I saw her and Sirius flirting and, well, you know what I did,” he shrugged.

“Your stupidness never fails to amaze me, Potter,” Lily rolled her eyes at the hazel-eyed boy. “Sirius would never get himself involved with a girl his best mate fancied.”

“Please, he could never know I fancy Y/N,” he furrowed his brows in disbelief. “I’ve only realized it myself a couple days ago.”

“Potter, you oblivious daft, everyone knows you have it bad for her for ages and the other way around,” she rolled her eyes at him once again.

“Are you saying-“

“That the entire school already realized you both long for each other? Yes. Now, let’s go,” Lily stood up and motioned with her head for him to follow her.

“Where are we going?” He asked confused.

“You are going to tell Y/N what Amortentia really smelled like to you and I am going to watch it alongside all of our friends and tease the two of you later,” she said as if it was obvious whilst they crossed the pub.

-

“He admitted his feelings towards Y/N out loud,” Lily announced amused as they approached their friends, taking Y/N’s vacant seat.

“Bloody finally!” Sirius and Remus shouted in unison as they both lifted their glasses in mock celebration.

“I have to say I thought I’d have to kiss her in front of you so your blind self would finally realize your own damn feelings,” Sirius grinned amused at James.

“Please, this is Prongs we’re talking about! He’d probably punch you in the face and still not have a clue as to why he was so angry at the whole situation,” Remus teased with a smirk.

“Sod off, would you?” James flashed his middle finger at them, his eyes scanning the entire place. “Where’s Y/N?”

“She said she was going to use the loo, let me go look for her,” Alice answered James with an excited smile.

James stood there full of hope whilst Alice went looking for Y/N, his heart pounding against his chest and his hands sweating as he thought about finally telling her how he felt.

Alice reappeared again a few minutes later, but there was no sign of Y/N as she walked back to their table.

“She wasn’t there,” she told James, a furrowed expression on her face.

“Where the bloody hell can she possibly be?” Sirius asked with a confused look.

“The castle...” James mumbled at himself before taking off hurriedly.

Marlene stood up as quickly as she could and mentioned to run after James.

“What are you doing?” Sirius asked with a scrunched face.

“Well, I’m definitely not gonna miss the pathetic scene of him finally confessing his feelings to our Y/N, will you?” She quirked an eyebrow.

The little crowd exchanged looks among them before getting up recklessly and take off on James’ trail.

——————————————————————

“How do I do that? How do I tell her I have feelings for her after saying in front of the entire class I smelled lilies as I inhaled Amortentia?” James asked breathlessly as he stopped suddenly in front of the Fat Lady portrait, turning on his heels so he could face his friends.

“Preferable with your mouth, although I suppose you could use your hands as well, you know, to make it more... intimate,” Sirius suggested with a devilishly grin, winging his eyebrows.

“Merlin. I don’t even know what to say about... that,” Lily looked disgusted at Sirius, turning to James afterwards. “Just... do something meaningful for the both of you. Use something that the two of you have in common to make it special. I’m sure it’ll earn you extra points.”

“I’m with Evans on this one,” Remus shrugged. “Sorry, Padfoot.”

They kept throwing suggestions at him, but James wasn’t paying attention anymore. Lily’s words were hammering inside his head as he was thinking about what to do. And then, suddenly, as if it was magic, a brilliant idea popped inside his mind.

“Fat Lady, has Y/N came in already?” James asked the portrait that guarded the entrance to the Gryffindor tower.

“Yes, Potter, she came in a while ago in fact. She didn’t have the best of looks on her face if I may add, I’m assuming she went straight upstairs to her dormitory,” the portrait answered promptly, gladly giving away the juicy details in hopes to gossip a little bit.

“Perfect!” James grinned at the painting. “Thanks, love!” He shouted before running through the hallway.

“Should we follow him?” Peter asked Remus and Sirius.

“What if he comes back?” Sirius shrugged.

“I don’t think he will,” Lily smiled, realizing what he was about to do.

“Mind sharing the why?” Marlene quirked a brow at her.

“Think about it. What’s the one thing they both equally love fiercely?” Lily asked the little crowd with a grin. “Despite each other, of course.”

“Quidditch...” Remus answered slowly, realizing James’ intentions as well.

Before anyone could say anything, James came back and flew by them on his broom, a large grin on his face, “well? Are you lot coming or what?”

Taking off as fast as he could and with his friends on his trail, James flew around the hallways of the castle in the direction of the sloping lawns in the school grounds.

As James proceeded on his flying, he started to draw more and more curious students returning from the Hogsmeade trip, that way, by the time he had approached the exterior walls of the Gryffindor Tower, he had quite a crowd standing underneath him.

Touching the ground slightly, James gathered a few little pieces of rocks and hopped on his broom again, flying up until he reached the same level of the girls dorm’s window.

Before James could execute his plan, a loud shout from Minerva McGonagall startled him.

“James Potter, get off this broom immediately!”

Before James could answer and beg for her to let him do what he had come here to in the first place, the window cracked open. As his eyes shot in the direction of the sound, James spotted an utterly confused Y/N staring at him.

“James what the bloody hell are you doing?” She asked with a frown.

“Well, I was planning on throwing these rocks softly at your window until you opened them up, but I guess there’s no point in doing so now,” he shrugged, showing her the rocks he had clutched into his palm.

“And why would you do that?” She giggled at him, causing butterflies to flutter inside James’ stomach.

“Because I have something rather important to discuss with you, love,” he grinned.

“Why didn’t you just shout my name from the Common Room then, you mental?” She quirked her eyebrows.

“‘m afraid that wouldn’t be as nearly as romantic.”

“Romantic? What are you talking about?” She asked, a disrupted look on her face. “James, what’s going on here?”

“POTTER!” McGonagall shouted once again.

“Could you give a smitten boy a second to confess his feelings for Merlin’s sake, Minnie?” He shouted with a wink at the Professor.

“Well... I suppose I can,” she shrugged with a discreet side smirk. “And Potter?”

“Yes, Minnie?”

“Glad to see you finally build up the courage,” she smiled at the dumbfounded look the boy gave her.

Y/N was still staring at James in shock as he drove his attention back to her.

“So...” she said.

“I lied at the Potions class last week,” he said out of the blue, gliding trough the air.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning I didn’t smell lilies or vanilla when I inhaled Amortentia.”

“And what did you smell?” Y/N asked and James could notice she was holding her breath back.

“Home,” the messy-haired boy answered with a gentle smile, his hazel eyes lingering on Y/N’s. “And it smelled like patchouli, sandalwood and cranberries.”

Slowly realizing he was describing her scents, Y/N’s cheeks heated up furiously as she stared at the boy she has been fancying for so long, her eyes widened in shock.

“James is this one of your jokes? If it is, I swear to Godric-“

“No, love. I’d never joke about something like that. I’d never do something like that to you,” he smiled gently. “I’m in love with you, madly in love with you. I have been for years. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize that.”

“In that case, would you get off this broom already so I can kiss you?” Y/N said with a lovingly frown.

“Gladly!” James’ face lit up as he hurriedly closed the space between his broom and the window, hopping inside the girl’s dorm.

“You’re crazy, you know that?” Y/N shook her head with a smile.

“About you? Definitely!” James grabbed Y/N by her waist and crashed his lips into her, finally tasting what true happiness was like.

[shitty-marvel-fan732]

Hi can I request a peter parker x barnes-Rogers reader (steve and Bucky's daughter) and me and Peter find out I'm pregnant with Peter's baby and we try to keep it a secret but everyone is suspicious of us cause I've been really poorly lately and Peter is being overprotective and one day Peter accidentally says "don't do that it could hurt the baby" or "and everyone freaks out and me, Peter and my dads have a long talk but everything is fine thanks xx

Unexpected

Pairing: Peter Parker x Barnes-Rogers! Reader

Requested?: Yes!

Word count: Almost 7k

Warnings: Pregnancy, some angst but thats it I think?

Author's Note: Yessssss this was so fun to write! Very excited to be back to posting on this page again. Thank you so much for the request! Hope to start adding in more content soon, so if yall have any requests feel free to send them in! And if you have requests sent in already, know that I love you and I will be getting to clearing out my inbox here pretty soon 🥰

Taglist: @just-that-bi-girl , @winterfrostsarmy

---------------------------

In retrospect, the entire team should have realized what was going on with you a lot sooner. To their credit, most of them had noticed that something was different about you, but other than Nat and Wanda none of them had a guess as to what exactly that was. 

The men appeared completely clueless in respect to the cause of the recent changes in you. Even Clint, a married father of three, hadn't caught on even after he'd seen you leaving the bathroom having clearly just thrown up. Tony had been the closest to figuring it out of the all men, having noticed your odd mood swings and crying fits as they became more and more frequent. He noted the same behavioral pattern as he'd found himself stuck in after the Battle of New York, and secretly worried for your mental well-being. He hadn't felt comfortable enough to broach the topic with you just yet though, instead opting to watch you from a distance for the time being. 

The women, however, seemed to understand almost instantly what was going on. Nat had figured things out once she realized that you had been skipping training lately and noticed that you and Peter barely appeared to leave one another's sides for even a moment. Wanda based her guess almost solely upon the fact that she could just feel that something was different about you; your entire energy had changed in the last few weeks and she noted it even before Peter had. Both women had their suspicions, but had seemingly agreed to keep their thoughts to themselves until you were ready to tell the team what was going on. 

Your dads were a different story altogether. 

It took Steve and Bucky much longer to notice something had changed with their daughter, Steve longest of all. Either you'd done a great job of avoiding your Pops or he'd been incredibly unobservant (or more likely both), but he hadn't seen anything that he would've considered out of the ordinary for you. 

That is, until today. 

"AAAAUUUUUUGGGGH"

Steve was on his feet in an instant, sprinting into the kitchen at the sound of your enraged scream. He skidded to a stop and surveyed the room with a trained look for the source of danger, but found none. In fact, you and Sam were the only two in the space as far as he could tell. Sam's back was pressed snugly against the furthermore countertop as you practically cornered him, the older man clearly caught off guard by your sudden burst of rage. You flung your hands around wildly as you yelled, one gripping a box so tightly that your knuckles were beginning to turn a concerning shade of white.

Completely bewildered, Steve watched in stunned silence for moment as you fumed and screamed expletives at the slightly-terrified looking Sam, without any clear indication as to what had happened. 

"I CANNOT FUCKING BELIEVE YOU, YOU GODDAMNED ASSHO-"

"Y/N Barnes-Rodgers!" Steve scolded you finally, momentarily stopping your verbal assault. "What in God's name is going on here?" 

Your eyes turned to your Pops' briefly before flickering back to glare in Sam's direction. 

"Pigeon-brain ate the last of my oreos," you seethed, walking forward and jabbing an accusatory finger to Sam's chest, his hands instantly flying upwards in surrender.

 Steve felt his jaw drop in utter disbelief.

“You-,” 

“What’s with all the commotion in here?” Bucky interrupted, striding into the kitchen much as Steve had moments ago and joining his husband's side with a confused look on his face. Steve crossed his arms and frowned at their daughter. 

“Apparently our daughter is screaming at Sam because he ate her cookies.” your Pops explained tersely.

“Not cookies, oreos,” you muttered, glare never wavering from Sam. You furiously threw the offending empty package roughly at his still bewildered face in lieu of another expletive. Sam was evidently so bewildered, in fact, that he didn't even flinch as the box hit his head and bounced pathetically to the floor. 

Bucky raised his eyebrow. 

“And that’s why you’ve been screaming like that?” he confirmed. You nodded, arms crossing your chest stubbornly. 

Bucky shrugged, looking towards his husband with a look of indifference. “Makes sense.”

“No, it absolutely does not make sense,” Steve lightly scolded, glancing at Bucky with a pointed look before returning his gaze to you. “Y/N you’re completely overreacting. Apologise to Sam right now.”

Your mouth dropped open, and you gaped at your dads with an expression that was equal parts betrayal and rage. 

“No.”

“No?” Steve repeated incredulously. He stared at you with disbelief, looking between you and Bucky like he was hoping he’d somehow misheard you. You met his glance with an equally stubborn look as you planted your feet solidly beneath you and tightened the cross of your arms. “What do you mean, no?”

“You heard me,” you spat, unwavering. 

Sam merely looked confused as he watched the two of you argue, if albeit still a bit scared, but Bucky was sure his shock was evident on his face. You never back-sassed your Pops, not even when you were really angry, and Bucky only felt his disbelief grow at the prospect that your attitude was all due to a few cookies. 

"Y/N, you don't get to tell me no," Steve ground out carefully, voice stern with a rare sort of parental authority he seldom had to use with you. In fact, Bucky was pretty sure he hadn't actually heard him use this particular tone since way back when you were a toddler testing the limits of your dads' patience. But unlike your three-year-old self, you didn't back down at your Pops' disapproving tone; in fact, you met his intense stare with a flippant roll of your eyes, deepening your dad's shock at your abrupt behavioral shift. 

"He fucking knows what he did, everyone knows those oreos are mine," you snapped, eyes alight with a kind of fury the likes of which your dads had never seen from you before. 

"Language!" Steve gasped at his daughter, his authoritative tone giving way to a spluttering one of complete disbelief. 

"FUCK OFF!" you shouted instantly. 

"HEY!"

Bucky had officially had enough. Irritation blossomed deep within his chest at the hurt he saw wash through his husband's eyes at your vulgar screech. Teenaged angst was one thing, but it was entirely another to blatantly disrespect Steve like you were. He still didn't know what was really causing you to act like this--because no way in hell could this be all over some oreos-- but he'd definitely passed the point where he even cared. 

"Doll, that’s enough. Clearly you're upset, but you cannot speak to your Pops like that," he practically growled. You turned your attention to your dad with the same kind of indignant irritation in your eyes, a flash of fresh anger rolling across your face at the sight of Bucky's equally irate expression. 

"You can fuck off too," you spat.

 Bucky's jaw clenched dangerously, the muscle in his cheek jumping and twitching as he took in his daughter's crass retort. Sam had long since left the scene, the nearly suffocating tension officially too much for him to take. Steve's eyes went wide for what felt like the millionth time since he'd first walked into the kitchen. If he hadn't known something was wrong before, he undoubtedly did now. 

You may not disobey him often, but you never snapped at Bucky. 

Steve had long since accepted that, though you loved the two of them the same, you'd always liked Bucky more. A daddy's girl from birth, you and Bucky had always been inseparable-- so for you to now scream and curse at him like this was like a flaming-red flag in Steve's mind. 

Something was definitely wrong. 

"Excuse me?" Bucky hissed. The two of you faced one another, arms crossed and expressions grim. You planted your feet even more solidly underneath you, staring your dad down with a fury so intense it was almost palpable. If it weren't for the overall tension of the situation, Steve might've teased the two of you for your near-mirrored positions. 

"Y/N? What's going on, I thought I heard yelling?" Peter asked as he practically skidded into the kitchen. He immediately joined you, face morphing into a look of utter concern at the sight of yours and Bucky's standoff. Steve braced himself, mentally apologizing to Peter for the verbal assault that was surely coming his way. 

But it never came. 

It was as if all the unwarranted anger was sucked from your body in a rush as soon as you caught sight of your boyfriend. Your face crumpled into an anguished expression, and Steve could see how the tears welled up in your eyes instantaneously. Peter clicked his tongue in pity and you thrust yourself instantly into his awaiting arms. He gripped you tightly, and you eagerly buried yourself further into his embrace. Face smashed tightly against his chest, you began to sob uncontrollably.

Your dads gaped at the scene, wide-eyed. 

"S-sam ate my oreos a-and now everyone's mad at me, and I j-just wanted my snack!" you all but wailed, voice muffled by Peter's body. 

Bucky blinked once as he turned to his husband, total confusion written all over his features. Steve just gaped in response, unable to formulate a semi-coherent thought, let alone words. 

"Oh angel, it's okay," Peter cooed softly into your hair, hands rubbing up and down your back soothingly as you continued to cry. "I can go and get you more oreos; don't cry Y/N/N, I'll just run down to the store right now to get you some."

Lifting your head from his chest, you seemed slightly placated and hopeful as you sniffled and looked up at him. 

"C-can I come with you?" you asked him shyly, tear-stained cheeks turning a slight shade of pink at your childish request. Peter smiled fondly down at you, clearly happy to see that you were feeling better. 

"Of course, it'll be nice to walk with you," he smiled sweetly at you and lightly kissed your nose. You giggled as you removed yourself from his embrace before walking over to your dads. 

"M'sorry I shouted daddys. Love you guys!" you apologized in a chipper voice before kissing both of the men's bewildered cheeks. 

The two supersoldiers both stood in stunned silence as they watched you leave hand in hand with Peter, who briefly shot them an apologetic look before the pair were gone. Steve thought he heard Peter mumbling something to Y/N as they left, but the only words he could pick out were "not good to get so worked up", which only confused him further. 

"What in the hell was that?" Bucky grumbled, face still crinkled with bewilderment. Steve simply shook his head. 

"I have absolutely no idea. I've never seen her behave like that, have you?"

"Nothing like that, but she was acting funny the other day too," he frowned, recalling the scene he'd walked in on just a few days prior. "She was full out sobbing on the couch a few days ago over a toilet paper commercial."

Steve gaped at his husband. 

"Sh-she...what?"

"Doll have you seen your Pops? I can't find him any-"

Bucky's question died in his throat as soon as he hit the threshold of the TV room. You were curled up on the couch, arms wrapped around your knees as sobs racked through you. Peter sat next to you with his eyes crinkled in concern and hands rubbing gently at your shoulders as you cried. 

"Y/N what's wrong, why are you crying?" Bucky asked. Feeling his protective instincts kick in instantly,  he couldn't help but search the room with his eyes in search of any danger. Finding nothing, he narrowed his eyes at your boyfriend.

"Did he do something?" Bucky demanded. "Parker I swear to God if you hurt her I-" 

"What? N-no I didn't do anything Mr. Bucky I swear!" Peter spluttered, eyes widening in fear at the terrifying look in your dad's eyes. 

"Bullshit, then why's she crying like that? Of course you did someth-"

"N-no it's not P-peter dad!" you interrupted tearfully. "There was an ad on TV that just made me emotional okay? You know, the one with the boy crying in the bathroom and his dad offers him toilet paper for his tears?"

There was a beat of silence. 

"Doll, you really mean to tell me that you're sobbing over a toilet paper ad?" Bucky asked, brows furrowed in disbelief. You sniffled as you nodded, and fresh tears began to pick your eyes once more. 

"Yes! I mean it's just so inspiring," you blubbered. "I mean how often do you actually get to see a teenaged boy cry on TV? Never, cause toxic masculinity standards in this stupid patriarchal society we all live in say otherwise! And not only does the dad accept that his son is crying and is allowed to feel real emotions, he sits down to talk with him about them! I just got so happy thinking about all the little boys who will see this ad and feel the validation that they're normal for feeling sad every once in a while!"

Bucky just stared at his daughter with a blank look for a moment; he looked like he was unable to formulate a single response to the information he'd just been given. 

"Well that's...uh….that's great I gue-"

"I can't believe you would just assume that me crying just had to be because of something Peter did," you interrupted, angrily brushing the leftover tears from your face. "It's so unfair, you always blame him for everything!"

"I-uh," Bucky stammered, flustered by the sudden change in your emotions. You scoffed and stood quickly from your spot in Peter's embrace, crossing your arms petulantly. 

"It's true dad, you're always looking for something to yell at him for! It's so biased and unfair," you practically yelled. "Honestly it's such prejudiced bullshit. Some kind of outdated 'lock up your daughters' rhetoric that I can't believe yo…"

At some point during your impassioned speech you began stomping away from both your dad and Peter while still ranting. As your shouts became fainter and fainter Bucky found himself directing his dumbfounded expression at Peter instead. In a rare show of solidarity with your boyfriend, Bucky silently begged for an explanation as to what on earth had just happened. 

Despite the way his heart was hammering wildly in his chest Peter remained silent. He offered only a passive shrug to your dad before he clambered to his feet and began following after you. If Bucky hadn't been caught so off guard he surely would've been suspicious at the visible sweat that was beading on Peter's forehead and the way the young boy's hands trembled as he quickly left the room, the question of what was causing your mood swings laying thickly unanswered in the air. 

"What the fu-"

"She...a toilet paper ad? Really?"

"Yep, a friggin' toilet paper commercial," Bucky nodded solemnly. Steve blinked once, shaking his head. 

"So what did you do?" he asked incredulously. 

"Nothin'," Bucky shrugged. "She was so damned worked up that I figured she needed some space, and by the time I went to talk to her she'd already seemed completely fine. Thought it wasn't worth upsetting her all over again."

Steve snorted. 

"Yeah right, you were just too scared you would make her mad again," he chuckled. 

"Hell yeah I was," Bucky admitted freely, crossing his arms and shooting his husband a defiant expression. "You've seen her, you know how terrifying she can be when she's pissed!"

Steve chuckled once more, shaking his head fondly. 

"Mmmm, and I wonder where she got that from."

Bucky narrowed his eyes and scowled at the implication, a surly look overtaking his features. Steve couldn't help but laugh outright at the expression on his husband's face; it was the exact same face you always made when you were annoyed, right down to the little pout in your lip. 

"For the last time Stevie, she doesn't get that from me," he grumbled. 

"Sure Buck, whatever you say," Steve laughed. 

Though your odd behavior and mood swings were at least now on both your dads' radar, neither had any clue as to the actual reason for your sudden changes. The pair of them chalked up the incidents to little more than teenaged angst, however they had no idea how wrong they were nor just how soon they were about to find out what was really going on. 

---------------------------

"I don't understand Y/N," Steve stated carefully. "Why exactly don't you want to go with the team?"

You shifted your weight from foot to foot anxiously, huffing out a breath in mock annoyance and very real frustration. 

You'd been in the training room, lightly working out with Nat and Wanda when your Pops and Tony had walked in to announce that there was an urgent mission that apparently would require the entire team. Internally cursing your timing, you'd tried to sneak out of the room unnoticed, but as your luck would have it, your dad caught you. Now you were stuck arguing with your dads, the attention and curiosity of everyone in the gym directed at you. 

Your heart was thrumming wildly in your chest as you furiously racked your brain for some way, any way, out of this assignment and this conversation without an actual reason. 

Well, a reason you were actually willing to give, that is.

"Why does it even matter?" you snapped, hoping that no one clocked the tremor in your voice. "It's not like you guys even need me anyways."

"Doll, you always jump at the chance to come with us," your dad interjected. "So what's so different about today?"

"I just don't want to," you whined, lying through your teeth. "I'm tired and I don't feel good."

"But you were literally just training?" Sam pointed out. You narrowed your eyes at him, irritation bubbling under the surface of your anxiety at the contradiction. The older man shrank back a bit under your firey gaze, the previous incident in the kitchen clearly prominent in his mind as he stepped behind Wanda. 

Clint snorted. 

"If you could even call that training," he mumbled under his breath. Your jaw dropped. 

"What is this, gang up on Y/N day?!" you sassed as your arms flew to cross your chest defensively. Your Pops shook his head. 

"We're just worried Y/N/N," he reassured, brows furrowed with concern. "You've been behaving very strangely lately, and this is just one more thing."

"Yeah doll," Bucky nodded, agreeing with his husband. "So what gives?"

Your pulse sped up once more at the direct question, a sickening feeling rising in your throat like bile at the realization of just how suspicious your dads were. Unable to think clearly through your panic, you did the only thing you could think of. 

You scoffed in fake disbelief, rolled your eyes, and began stomping out of the room. 

"Y/N Barnes-Rodgers!" your dad shouted in an indignant and angered tone. "We are not done talking about this!" 

Damn. 

"What?!" you whirled around, stomping your foot like a child. "I just don't want to go this time okay?"

Bucky's face turned red at your open defiance, but Steve interrupted before he could even open his mouth to snap back at you. 

"No Y/N it's absolutely not okay," he scolded. You felt the burn of unshed tears prick your eyes as they searched desperately around the room, mind racing to think of an excuse that would get you out of this situation. 

"But-"

"No, no buts Y/N," your dad barked, clearly having composed himself enough to speak once more. His arms were crossed as he glared at you, and the stubbornly annoyed look on his face was enough to make the tears in your eyes begin to fall. A feeling of utter entrapment and fear settled in your chest like a suffocating weight as you felt the hot, fresh tears stream down your cheeks. 

"Doll, are you crying?" your Pops questioned incredulously. "What on earth is going on with you?"

"Nothing! I just can't go today," you blubbered, past the point of being able to hold back your sobs. 

"You can't go, or you won't go?" Bucky asked pointedly, evidently not swayed by your tears. 

"It doesn't matter," you cried desperately. Your dad's eyes bored into yours directly as if he was searching your brain to find out what you were holding back from him. 

"It clearly does matter, otherwise you wouldn't be acting like this," he continued harshly. "I'm not sure what it is you aren't telling us, but I don't even care at this point. Stark said he needs everyone and your Pops told you to go, so you need to get yourself together and go and get ready."

The tears were now cascading down your face in giant streams and your face was growing warmer by the second. You darted your gaze back and forth between the other team members' faces, still searching for some kind of last minute way out of this situation. Finding only curious or concerned expressions, you turned back to your dads with wide eyes. You felt your mouth go dry as your lips open and closed wordlessly, the severity of your current predicament weighing you down more and more by the second. 

"I-"

"No. I don't want to hear another word from you Y/N," your dad snapped. "Go and get ready for the mission now."

"But she can't go!"

Time stopped for a split second as the entire room's heads snapped towards the desperate shout.

Peter had only just entered the training room, wondering where everyone was, when he caught the tail end of your dad's order. He couldn't help but blurt the first thing that'd come to mind, the implication of which only dawned on him afterwards. As he rushed to your side he shot you a sheepish look, and you internally cringed a bit at his slip. 

Even though you were certain Peter's involvement would only further reduce your already slim chances of getting out of this mission without a full confession of what was really going on, you couldn't help but feel an inkling of relief as his eyes locked with yours. His hand immediately intertwined itself with yours once he'd reached you, and your belly fluttered with a warm tinge of comfort with the simple touch.

True, things were probably about to go sideways for the both of you, but at least Peter was here to go through it by your side. 

"Excuse me Parker?" your dad spat incredulously, eyes blazing with anger at your boyfriend's outburst. "I don't recall asking you for your opinion on my daughter or what she can or can't do."

Peter stood a little taller as he looked Bucky straight in the eyes with an unprecedented amount of determination. 

"She can't go." he practically growled, eyes stern and unyielding as he openly defied your dad. He was standing a half-step in front of you, tense back partially shielding you from the rest of the team as he spoke.

 Even with his face turned the opposite direction you could see from his profile the way his brows were furrowed and how dark his normally chocolate brown eyes had gotten. You felt a slight shiver run up your spine at the fiercely protective energy Peter was radiating, and your heart felt a bit lighter at the way he stood up to your dad on your behalf. You squeezed his hand in an effort to ground him, and he softened marginally as he glanced back at you.

Your dad however looked as if he might combust soon based on the way his eyes bulged out and his face turned a concerning shade of red. 

"What's that supposed to mean Peter?" Steve interjected carefully, his hand reaching up to rest comfortingly on his husband's shoulder. 

"It means exactly what we said," Peter said firmly. "Y/N cannot go on this mission today."

The team watched the interaction between you, Peter, and your dads with their heads bouncing back and forth between the four of you like they were watching a tennis match. Not a word had been uttered from a single one of them, and yet they stood completely transfixed as they waited patiently to see the outcome of the argument. 

"And why, pray tell, is that Parker?" your dad hissed, scowl etched across his features. 

Peter's eyes traveled to yours, irises swimming with a silent question. Realizing that there was no way out, you took a steadying breath as you nodded softly and squeezed his hand once more in reassurance. Peter smiled at you fondly before dropping his smile and turning back to your parents. 

"She can't go because...it could be bad for the baby."

You could've heard a pin drop in the training room. No one made a sound, no one even dared to breathe. The shock in the room was palpable, but you couldn't be bothered to even glance at anyone other than your dads, their reactions the only two that mattered to you in this moment. 

Though you'd expected a rather explosive reaction from your parents (especially from your dad), you were met instead with blank stares. Your dads were simply staring at you and Peter in stunned silence, and their lack of a response actually frightened you more than the screaming you'd been anticipating for weeks now. The beat of silence seemed to stretch on eternally, though in reality it was probably no more than thirty seconds. You watched nervously, your hand becoming sweaty in Peter's as you waited. Finally, your Pops blinked and opened his mouth cautiously. 

"Bad for the wha-"

"I SWEAR TO GOD PARKER THAT'D BETTER BE SOME KIND OF DISGUSTING PET NAME FOR MY DAUGHTER."

Ahhh. There it was. 

Your dad had clearly broken through his frozen thoughts enough to respond, and you would've laughed if you weren't so terrified. He looked positively furious; his eyes were darker than you'd ever seen them and his face had darkened from red to an almost purple color that looked painful to say the least. His murderous gaze was hyper-fixated on Peter, and you couldn't help but step in front of your poor boyfriend in an effort to take some of the heat off him. 

Peter, evidently, was having none of that, and he frowned before pulling you backwards and tucking you into his side tightly. If you hadn't been so focused on your dad right now you might've rolled your eyes at his over-protectiveness. Instead you allowed yourself the comfort of his embrace as you took a steadying breath. 

"It's not," you responded as calmly as you could manage while your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your throat. "I'm pregnant."

Silence enveloped the room once more, and you could've sworn it was even more awkward than the first time. It must've been, because you could see Nat and Wanda ushering the rest of the team out of the gym out of the corner of your eye. You weren't quite sure if you were grateful for the privacy or more scared of how your dads would react now that you were alone.

Your dads stared at you and Peter with wildly different expressions. Steve was staring off into space and looking as if he was either going to throw up or pass out soon, and Bucky still looked as if he was about a half a second away from murdering Peter with his bare hands. To his credit, Peter was still standing by your side with the same look of determination as before despite this, but you could feel the way his pulse was hammering through his veins as he too carefully surveyed your dads' reactions.

You stood quietly, trying to be patient as you watched them, but the suspense and anticipation quickly became overwhelming and you couldn't help but blurt,

"Say something!"

Though both their gazes snapped up to your face with your plea, yet neither your dad nor you Pops said anything. You were suddenly overcome with the urge to explain yourself. 

"I know that you're probably in shock or angry or maybe both- and honestly that's completely fair!" You rambled breathlessly. "I know we're still only eighteen, but I really think everything's gonna be okay? Really, I do. And I'm so sorry about today, believe me this isn't how we planned on telling you at all bu-"

"You're not coming on the mission," Steve interrupted, his voice completely devoid of emotion. "Nor is Peter. Your dad and I will be back later, and we're all going to have a long discussion."

It felt like all the air was sucked out of your body as you watched your Pops pull your dad towards the training room exit. You hadn't been fully sure of just how you were going to tell them, but never in your wildest dreams did you imagine that it would come out like this. Tears once more welling up in your eyes, your heart sank as you realized just how disappointed and angry they were. 

"I love you," your voice cracked as you called to their retreating forms, unable to bear the sight of them leaving without reminding them. They both paused in the doorway, and without turning back both muttered that they loved you too before they were gone. 

As soon as they left you immediately twisted yourself and thrust your face into Peter's chest, the tears flowing steadily as you sobbed. He wrapped his arms tightly around your shaking form, lips finding the crown of your head and hands rubbing soothingly across your back. 

"Th-they hate me now," you whispered brokenly into Peter's soft hoodie in between sobs. "They hate me Pete, they're n-never going to forgive me for this!"

Peter shushed you quietly, gentle lips kissing your hair as he began to sway you back and forth slowly. 

"They don't hate you angel," he soothed. "They're just surprised. Disappointed in the timing maybe, but they'll get over it. I promise."

"I never wanted it to go like this," you cried as you pulled your head from his chest slightly. Peter's hands left your back for a moment to come and rest on either of your cheeks. He leaned down to press a soft kiss to your forehead before retreating upwards to look deep into your eyes. 

"I know you didn't sweet girl, but it did," he said gently as he brushed away some of your tears with the pads of his thumbs. "It did and it's going to be okay. We'll talk to your dads when they get back and clear everything up. And no matter what, you and I are going to get through this together, okay?"

You sniffled softly, nodding sadly. Peter's eyes were swimming with guilt and dejection at the sight of the empty expression on your face. He didn't know how to comfort you in this situation, but it was like every molecule in his body was demanding he do so. He leaned down once more to press a loving kiss to your forehead, then your cheeks, your nose, and finally your lips. 

You sighed, head retreating back to his chest once your lips disconnected. Sadness was still swirling in your stomach and you just longed for the feeling that being in Peter's arms brought. He seemed to understand perfectly- as he always did- pressing his cheek to the top of your head and wrapping his arms tightly around you without a word. The two of you stood there for a while, bodies entangled as you continued lightly swaying back and forth. Peter's hands continued to roam up and down your spine and your tears began to slow and dry. 

Eventually you hummed, stepping back and up on your toes to press an appreciative kiss to Peter's face. He smiled as a faint pink tinted his cheeks at your display of affection. You giggled, slightly amazed that even after everything you two had done, something as simple as a peck on the cheek could still make him blush.

"Thank you," you said quietly, looking up into his eyes. He quirked an eyebrow at you in confusion. 

"For staying with me through all that. I mean it's you, so I wasn't really worried...but my dad can be really frightening. So thanks," you half joked. 

Peter chuckled lightly as he pulled you back into his arms once more. 

"Of course angel. Told you, I'm never going to leave you. Even if your dad is super scary. You two are stuck with me now. I'm never ever going to leave you or our baby," he vowed quietly into your hair as his hands reached down to rub the small but growing bump in your tummy lovingly. "We're gonna get through this all together, as a family."

You felt tears well up in your eyes once more, but this time out of sheer love and happiness.

 Damned hormones. 

"You're gonna be such a good daddy Peter," you whispered gratefully. Hearing the slight crack in your voice, Peter pulled you away from his chest gently to wipe your tear stained cheeks once more. 

"Hey now, no more tears today," he scolded playfully as he tugged you across the room. "When's the last time you ate something? We have the whole kitchen to ourselves now, and I bet my babies are hungry!"

You chuckled lightly as you allowed him to pull you along with him towards the kitchen. All the while, he chattered happily about the new article he'd just read about the specific nutritional needs pregnant women have, and your heart swelled at his thoughtfulness. You were still apprehensive about the upcoming conversation with your dads, but you were definitely feeling better. As much as their approval and involvement would mean to you, you'd come to the conclusion that as long as you had Peter by your side everything would work out alright. 

Somehow.

---------------------------

"Petey, are you sure you don't need any-"

"No! Nope. I've got this," your boyfriend interrupted stubbornly. You signed, hand absentmindedly rubbing across your swollen stomach as you watched him struggle with the latch on the new crib the two of you were setting up. 

Well, the crib that Peter was setting up. 

It'd been a few months since the team had found out about the newest upcoming addition to the Tower, and you'd decided that it was time to begin decorating the nursery. Tony, of course, had offered to have someone come in to do all the heavy lifting, but Peter was insistent that he be the one to set everything up. His protectiveness over you and the rapidly growing child you were carrying had only increased as the months went on, so much so that you were lucky now if he'd even let you stand for long enough to watch him put the baby's furniture together. It was endearing, really, how much he cared for the two of you, but you'd be lying if you said that you weren't becoming a little frustrated with how little you could do to help. 

"Really Peter, I can help," you grumbled, annoyed. "I'm pregnant, not disabled."

"Of course you could help angel, but I don't need help," he grunted, eyes never leaving the mass of parts around him. "You already have to do all the work of growing and housing our baby, the least I can do is build the crib!"

"Housing?" you teased, quirking an eyebrow.

"You know what I meant," he grumbled, and you couldn't help but chuckle at his growing frustration. 

Peter was clearly losing his grip just a bit as he struggled to make sense of the instructions that had been provided with the pieces. He sighed, throwing the pamphlet down on the ground before trudging over to where you stood, leaning against the changing table that he'd put together a few days ago. 

"I've engineered web-fluid from absolutely nothing, re-built computers from scratch and yet I can't even manage to put this stupid bed together," he whined as he dropped his head down onto your shoulder in defeat. "M'gonna be a terrible father."

"Ohhh bubs," you cooed sympathetically, smile falling quickly and heart lurching at the tone of pure dejection in his voice. 

You wrapped your arms around him, one snaking around his back and the other cradling his head. Your fingers began instantly carding through his chocolate-brown locks as he nuzzled his nose lightly into the junction of your neck and shoulder. His hands wound their way around your waist too- or as well as they could with your round tummy in the way- and his own hands began absentmindedly tracing patterns over your bump.

"Peter you have to know that isn't true," you soothed, kissing his cheek softly. "You're going to be an amazing dad."

He hummed non-commitally. 

"You think you're not?" you challenged, fingers halting their dance against his scalp. "Do the thing."

He raised his head from your shoulder, brows furrowed in confusion. 

"What does that have to do with-"

"Do the thing," you interrupted sternly. He sighed and knelt down, grumbling inaudible complaints as he went. Once he was face to face with your bump he placed his hands on either side, thumbs rubbing soft circles into your stretched-out skin.

"Hi baby, it's me, your daddy," he spoke softly into your stomach, lips so close that you shivered with each breath that ghosted over your clothed belly. "I love you so much."

The baby responded instantly at the sound of Peter's voice, feet jabbing out and kicking excitedly from within just underneath where his hands lay. You felt your heart skip a beat at both the feeling the movement in your belly and the sight of the dopey smile that lit up Peter's handsome face as he felt his child's kicks. You rubbed over his hands lovingly and smiled down at him.

"See bubs? He starts throwing a party in there every time you do that. He loves you so much already, that's not gonna change," you reassured him softly. Peter's smile dropped just a little. 

"But the crib-"

"Fuck the crib," you responded stubbornly. "You are the most caring, sweetest, and most thoughtful person I know Peter. You're going to be the world's best dad."

"Whoa whoa, believe we're the ones with the mugs that claim that title," a voice chuckled from the doorway. 

You smiled fondly, eyes darting to find the sight of your Pops leaning casually against the frame of the door with your dad standing just behind him. Both had amused smiles on their faces, and you grinned widely. Even Peter smiled as he rose to his feet and wrapped one of his arms around your back to pull you into his side. 

"Okay, third best dad in the world then," you amended, grinning. 

"That's better," your dad piped up, smiling. "Now what's this I hear about a faulty crib? Sam said he can hear Peter cursing all the way from his room."

Peter groaned, tilting his head backwards in exasperation as you laughed out loud. 

"It isn't faulty, I'm just an idiot," Peter grumbled. Everyone but him chuckled, and your dad walked further into the room. He clapped a hand on Peter's back as he grinned at the younger man. 

"Normally I'd agree with you, but I know if I do Steve will bring up how Y/N had to sleep in the bassinet for like 6 months because we couldn't figure out how to put her crib together."

"You mean you couldn't figure it out," your Pops snorted from his place in the doorway. "As I recall, I was not allowed to help with the furniture because you were determined to figure it out on your own."

Bucky shrugged, seemingly indifferent to his husband's insinuation. 

"Whatever. Point is, I wanted to see if you wanted some help putting it together. Thought I might be able to give you some tips," your dad continued. Peter's smile widened, and he nodded eagerly before your dad knelt down to help try and make sense of the directions.

The discussion after the incident in the training room had gone much better than you would've ever imagined. Both your dads had been relatively calm once they'd returned from their mission, and surprisingly there had been no screaming, no crying, and no threats towards Peter from Bucky like you'd been picturing. The four of you had sat down together and had a long, mature discussion of what your plans were in terms of raising and caring for your child, and by the end your dads had even seemed enthusiastic about the prospect of being grandparents. Their involvement and excitement had only grown in the following months to the point now that you felt silly for ever having been frightened to tell them. 

And now as you stood watching your boyfriend and dad work together to put your child's room together, tears began collecting in your eyes and you felt your chest warm with feelings of overwhelming love. Steve, noticing your tears, moved to wrap his arms around you and you leaned your head against his shoulder. Rubbing your belly lovingly, you couldn't help but feel a wave of gratitude wash over you for the men in your life and love for the little one that you'd all be meeting soon. 

[tyongxnct]

𝑙𝑜𝑠𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑡𝑜 𝑙𝑜𝑣𝑒 𝑚𝑒 - 𝐽𝑢𝑛𝑔 𝐽𝑎𝑒𝘩𝑦𝑢𝑛

pairing: Jaehyun x reader

summary: You were blinded by your love for Jaehyun. You loved him and believed him every time he promised you that he loved you and that he would marry you soon. A couple years later, whenever you talked about marriage, he would change the topic or simply yell at you for forcing him to marry you even though he wasn’t ready. Everyone around you noticed the change in your relationship but you were still madly in love with Jaehyun but one day you realized that you loved Jaehyun more than you loved yourself and it was breaking you apart.

song: lose you to love me - Selena Gomez

genre: breakup!au, angst

warnings: mentions of cheating, swearing, not a happy ending

word count: 4,2k

A/N: HAPPY BIRTHDAY JUNG JAEHYUN!! i love him so much :( and I hope you enjoy reading this! And this is the first part of a two part story! The second part is feel me and is coming on february 17! And happy valentine’s day!!

© tyongxnct on all platforms

You promised the world and I fell for it I put you first and you adored it

“I’m going to marry you and we’re going to have at least three kids. I know I’m a city boy, but I want to live in a little town in a little house with a huge garden with you and our kids. I know that you love to cook and I’m going to build the kitchen you always wanted. I want to give you everything and so much more.”

“Promise?”

“I promise, baby.” Jaehyun said and kissed every part of your face. “I can’t wait to have babies with you.”

“You know, I don’t need a house with a big kitchen. As long as I’m with you, I don’t care about anything else.” You cupped his cheeks and pressed a kiss on his lips. “You are my everything.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too Jaehyun.”

You snuggled up into his chest and you were sure that your future with Jaehyun was going to be a beautiful journey. You’ve been together for almost five years now, you were high school sweethearts. He was your first boyfriend, just your first everything and you knew the second you talked to him that he was going to be your forever. Well you thought that he was going to be your forever, but If you only knew.

I saw the signs and I ignored it Rose-colored glasses all distorted

Jaehyun was acting differently but you didn’t really notice the change in his behavior. Your friends were the first one to notice, but you just shrugged your shoulders.

“I swear he’s acting so different or is it just me?” Minji asked your other friend Yuna. “I don’t know. Did you guys fight?” she asked you.

“What are you guys talking about? Everything is fine between us. He’s probably just exhausted from work. You guys are exaggerating.”

The truth was that Jaehyun was indeed distant and cold. You were blinded by your love to notice that. The way he stopped telling you that he loved you or kissed you, all the times he stayed with his friends instead of coming home to you. Every time he snapped at you no matter what you did, and the thing was, you never did anything wrong. Every move you made, every word that left you lips triggered something and he just started yelling and then ignoring you.

You never thought that he was wrong, that he did something, and you were right. You just accepted the fact that you did something wrong and you spend your nights thinking about your mistakes.

You were tired of your friends telling you that there was something wrong. It was late and you wanted to go home and be alone with Jaehyun and when you walked up to him and his friends to ask him If you could go home, he just told you to go alone.

“I don’t want to go yet, I’m having fun. Is it so hard for you to let me have some fun with my friends? What is wrong with you?” he whispered harshly, he didn’t want your friends to hear him snap at you once again.

“You’re right I’m sorry. Have fun, I’ll just go home and sleep.” You smiled bitterly ignoring the fact that he, once again, hurt you.

You were trying to sleep but your thoughts kept you awake.

It’s been almost two years since Jaehyun promised you, for the nth time, to marry you and you were ready to marry him but whenever you mentioned a wedding, or anything related to marriage he got so mad that he even stopped talking to you for a whole week.

All of your friends got married after a couple years of dating and you and Jaehyun stopped talking about that topic even after seven years together.

But you shouldn’t complain, right? He was still there after all. He still loved you and one day he’d marry you. Right?

Set fire to my purpose And I let it burn You got off on the hurtin' When it wasn't yours, yeah

Jaehyun was always on his phone. He ignored your presence, and his attention was completely on his phone. You knew that he kept secrets from you, but you didn’t mind because he was still there. He was still sitting next to you on the couch and sleeping next to you in bed. You ignored the fact that the first thing he looked at in the morning was his phone and the last thing he looked at before falling asleep was again, his phone.

Your nights got colder, and your days got longer.

Jaehyun was spending less and less time with you and he was barely home.

Having a simple conversation with him was rare. But you didn’t mind. At least he talked to you, even just a couple words were enough for you.

But for him, it was torture talking to you or being in the same room as you. You annoyed the shit out of him no matter what you did. He told you to shut up, he told you to fuck off, he told you to leave him alone and all you did was smile and apologize for annoying him.

“I had a fucking long day and I can’t even fucking rest because of you.” He growled. Jaehyun unbuttoned his shirt as you trailed after him. “I’m sorry, I know you had a long day I want to help you feel better-“

“If you want me to feel better shut up and leave me alone for god’s sake! Don’t you have any friends to go and annoy?” before you could enter the bedroom he slammed the door shut and locked it.

Jaehyun breathed heavily, he was so mad and needed to be alone. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and called the only person he wanted to talk to.

He was laying on your shared bed and smiling brightly as he talked to the person on the phone. Jaehyun felt good without you being next to him. Jaehyun felt like he could breathe again.

You on the other side forced a smile on your face. You told yourself that Jaehyun was just exhausted and that he didn’t mean anything he just said and did. But when you heard him talking happily on the phone, your smile dropped, and you tried hard not to cry.

You left the apartment that night, leaving Jaehyun alone just like he wanted. You wanted to give him some time to be the old Jaehyun again, maybe you were annoying and maybe you were suffocating him.

You spend the night at Yuna’s without telling her what exactly happened, but she knew. She knew that he hurt your feelings once again and she knew that you were heartbroken.

Jaehyun noticed hours later that you were gone. His stomach growled and reminded him that he still didn’t eat dinner. It was almost midnight and he left the bedroom and entered the kitchen to see it empty- like the rest of the apartment.

He cooked himself instant ramen, the only thing he was able to cook, and silently ate in the living room while watching a reality show.

An hour later, you were still not back and he decided to call you, he started to get worried, what if something happened to you?

“Jaehyun?”

“Where are you?” he asked you.

“I’m with Yuna, I thought it would be the best to leave you alone for the night. You should rest and I know I can be annoying. I won’t hold you back. I hope you have a good rest and please take care of yourself. I’m sorry I left before I could cook dinner for you, I hope you managed to cook something for yourself. If I remember clearly we still have ramen.” You rambled but he didn’t mind.

You were still worried for him and he almost felt bad for acting like an asshole. But he was happy that you weren’t home.

“Can you stay with Yuna for a couple more days?” he just asked.

“What, uhm. Oh, yeah sure.”

“Good.”

“Take care and I lov-“

He hung up before you could finish your sentence.

When you asked Yuna if you could stay with her she almost called Jaehyun to yell at him for being an asshole, but you stopped her.

“Yuna, please, don’t. He didn’t do anything wrong, we just need a couple days for ourselves.” You assured her but she was ready to fight Jaehyun.

“Stop lying to yourself! Y/n don’t you see how he treats you? He kicked you out of your own apartment-“

“He didn’t kick me out. I left.” You still tried to defend him.

“And why did you do that? Because he told you to leave!”

“Yuna- it’s not how you think-“

“Y/n I saw with my own two eyes how he treats you. And I don’t even know how he acts when we’re not there.” She said honestly.

“He loves me.” You lied to yourself, “And I love him.”

“Y/n-“

“No Yuna. Please. I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Please?”

And your friend hugged you tightly and put the conversation to the side. Yuna didn’t want to hurt you, god no, she wanted to help you realize that you deserved better. You were the only one suffering and being hurt in this relationship and she couldn’t let you let him hurt you anymore.

A couple days later Yuna convinced you to go back home and face him. You were paying half of the bills and the rent, you had the right to be there. Yuna helped you a little to understand her point of view and how toxic your relationship was. But you still loved him and you were sure that this was just a phase and that your relationship is going to get better.

When you entered the apartment, Jaehyun looked up from the couch. The apartment was a mess. Empty pizza boxes and empty bottles all over the kitchen and the living room. You didn’t even want to know how the bedroom looked.

“What are you doing here?” he asked you as he sat up on the couch. “I live here.” You said back as you opened the window to let fresh air in.

Jaehyun was a little embarrassed that you saw how he lived the last couple of days without you being here. It was chaos and of course you were the one to fix everything. While you started cleaning the apartment, Jaehyun played with his phone and sometimes he looked up and glanced at you for a second before you could catch him watching you.

For the first time, you were annoyed.

“This place is a fucking mess.” You said loud enough for him to hear but he choose to stay silent.

After cleaning up, you decided to take a long hot bath in your own home.

“I’m going to take a long bath.”

“C-Can I join you?” he asked out of nowhere.

“What?” you asked a little shocked.

He stood up and was standing so close to you now. “I want to join you- I m-missed you…” he whispered the last part and looked down to the floor. He couldn’t even look you in the eyes and tell you that he missed you.

“No. I want to rest.”

He looked up and saw the coldness in your eyes. You were mad that he showed a little affection after you were gone for a couple days. You can be all cold and distant too, you realized.

You turned around and locked the bathroom door, leaving him all alone.

After your shower you changed to comfortable clothes and then you entered the kitchen to start making dinner. You didn’t know where Jaehyun was or what he was doing but then you felt two strong arms wrapped around you and his face in the crook of your neck, you realized that the last time he did something like that was months ago.

“I’m cooking.”

“Let me help you.” He really wanted to help you.

“Are you sure?” you asked him, and he hummed.

“Okay, you can make the salat. Here.” You handed him the ingredients for a salat, and he happily started cutting them into small pieces.

Until his phone started vibrating.

He ignored it at first but after a couple minutes he started texting back, whoever he was texting.

“Jaehyun?” you called him for the third time now.

“Huh?”

“The salat. Dinner’s almost ready-“

“Yeah about that, I really want to eat with you but the boys- they’re spamming me and asking me to go eat with them. I really can’t say no baby.” He said, eyes still locked with his phone.

“Fine. Go.” You breathed out.

Without saying anything else to you, he changed his clothes and left the apartment.

Once again, Jaehyun left you hanging and you were all alone again. You were angry. Not only at Jaehyun but also at yourself for being so weak. You let him play with you and you did nothing to defend yourself. You were the only one hurting and suffering in this relationship.

I gave my all and they all know it You turned me down and now it's showing In two months, you replaced us Like it was easy Made me think I deserved it In the thick of healing

The realization that you never did anything wrong in your relationship with Jaehyun hit you hard. After scrolling through your last exchanged texts with Jaehyun, you saw the coldness and distance in his words. You remembered every fight you had, and it was always Jaehyun starting them and blaming you for everything. You were always wrong in Jaehyun’s eyes and you always tried and tried to be perfect and enough for him, but he never tried to value you and you tried everything in your power to be just like Jaehyun wanted you to be.

Family and friends were always worried about you. You were like a puppet and the strings were in Jaehyun’s hands and he played with you until you finally broke. Everyone around you knew that you always tried to be enough for him, that you tried to be his ideal girl and everyone started hating him for hurting you like that. He was the perfect boyfriend but when you saw everything crystal clear, you started hating him too.

You were the one who did the first step. You asked Jaehyun the one-million-dollar question and his answer decided about your future.

“What is it?” he asked, eyes on his phone.

“Do you want to marry me?”

Jaehyun stopped scrolling and breathed in and out. He closed his eyes for a second to stay calm, but he couldn’t.

“How many times do we have to talk about that?! I told you I’m not fucking ready for marriage, you can’t make me wanna marry you!”

“So you don’t want to marry me?” you asked, still calm.

“No I don’t and stop bringing that up or-“

“Or what? Are you going to break up with me then?” you interrupted him, the look in your eyes could kill right now.

Jaehyun looked at you, not sure what to say.

“You know what? You don’t have to bother waiting for me to ask you again. I won’t. I’m breaking up with you.” You simply said, no emotion in your voice.

Jaehyun’s eyes were wide and his mouth fell open. It took him a couple seconds to realize what you just said.

You ignored the fact that he didn’t say anything, and you just stood up and entered your bedroom to get your bags and luggage. Yeah, you already packed all of your things because you knew this wasn’t going to end like fairytales.

Jaehyun finally came to his senses and sprinted to the front door, you were about to open the door with your bags in your hands. You left your key on the counter and you didn’t take a single memory with you.

“W-What do you mean breaking up? Where are you going? You are joking right? You can’t leave me and throw away our relationship just because I’m not ready to get married-“

“No Jaehyun! This isn’t only about a stupid marriage! I’ve had enough! I can’t do this anymore this- this relationship is destroying me, and I can’t be with you anymore because all you do is hate me! I don’t know why you didn’t break up with me before, but I’m done being your punching bag! I’m done getting hurt and hurt and I’m done with you! I can’t do this anymore.” You whispered the last part after yelling at him. For the first time in your life you yelled at him because it was too much for you and the way he blamed you for throwing away this relationship didn’t sit right with you.

Before Jaehyun could say another word, you left the apartment. You silently drove away until you could finally breathe again.

A couple months later you found out that he got married two months after the breakup. Whenever he was on his phone or out, he was with her. Jaehyun was always talking to her after you two fought and he secretly met her. You should’ve known. You saw the way he acted around you when he was on his phone or the smell of perfume on his clothes. You should’ve known but you were blind.  He was cheating on you for almost a year and after your breakup he asked her to marry him and it took them two months to get married. Even after dating you for years he pushed the thought of marriage away and he marries her after a year? Why didn’t he just break up with you? Why didn’t he tell you to go? Why did he hurt you for so long instead of just breaking up after he met her?

Your gaze was on the moon, no stars were to be seen. The moon was all alone, just like you.

It was another lonely night in your bed and once again you asked yourself If you deserved being treated like that. Maybe you never deserved to be with Jaehyun in the first place. You didn’t deserve to marry him, you didn’t deserve to have the title as his wife. He fell in love with someone else because you weren’t enough.

It all made sense now. The distance, the hate and your relationship falling slowly apart. He stopped loving you, or maybe he never loved you but the promises he made you believe that he did love you, and he decided to love someone else behind your back. You were curious. Was she better than you? She was probably so much prettier and funnier and just perfect.

We'd always go into it blindly I needed to lose you to find me This dancing was killing me softly I needed to hate you to love me, yeah

Breaking up with Jaehyun was probably the best decision you’ve ever made.

The first couple months were tough. You thought you were going to die. The pain in your heart was unbearable, your thoughts were eating you alive and you reached the point to doubt everything about yourself.

Most of the time you were all alone, curled up under the blanket and watching a romance movie or a k-drama and every time you saw the couple being happy, you took a shot of vodka. Yes, you were drinking most of the time and neglecting everything around you.

You friends were worried, your family was worried, even your neighbors thought you were dead because you never left your apartment. You were vulnerable and your four walls kept you safe. The loud sad love songs coming from your speakers didn’t help you get better, you were always crying, and you really thought your life was going to end like this. All alone and depressed. Lonely and heartbroken.

One day, you looked at yourself in the mirror. You didn’t recognize yourself anymore. The dark bags under your red and puffy eyes almost covered the look in your eyes. The cry for help deep, deep inside your eyes. You hated being like this and you needed a hard push to get back on your feet.

A tear drop rolled down your face. “Why are you doing this to yourself?” you said as you looked yourself in the eyes. “Do you really want to end up like this? You look miserable. You always ask yourself what you did wrong, but did you ever think that maybe, you did nothing wrong?”

You tried to smile, a forced smile. You looked weird. “You can’t force yourself to be happy again. You should go with the flow.”

Maybe it is finally time to change. To be happy again. To move on.

That night, you slept better than ever. After so many sleepless nights, you fell asleep and you woke up with a smile on your face.

You knew that moving on and changing your lifestyle would be a big challenge, you had to do it in little steps. It’s okay to break down. It’s okay to feel hurt. It’s okay to let go. It’s okay to put yourself first.

And that is how you reminded yourself everyday that it wouldn’t be easy but worth it.

A month later you found yourself getting happier and even your friends noticed the change. They supported every decision you made and were always there to cheer you up, because it was also okay to have a shitty day.

Two months later, you were ready to go out and have fun again. It’s been so long since you had a girl’s night or a gathering without him being there. You had so much fun that night and you realized how much you had missed. You were smiling and laughing non-stop, and simply enjoying yourself.

You found new interests such as cooking and learning to play the guitar. You even signed up to a couple yoga sessions with your friends to help your body rest and recover after months of doing nothing. You gained new strength and so much confidence like you never had before.

“Hey, Jieun?” you were hanging out with your friend Jieun.

“Yes?” she asked you.

“Can you show me a picture of Jaehyun and his wife?” you asked out of nowhere.

Her eyes widened, “What?”

“I just want to see a picture of them. Don’t worry, I moved on, thank god I did because I realized how horrible our relationship was. I just want to see.” And that was okay. Just because you’re curious, that doesn’t mean you still love him or feel the need to be with him.

“Uhm, okay. If you really want to.”

After she opened Jaehyun’s Instagram account, you saw a couple pictures of them together but the one of their wedding caught your eye.

“I absolutely feel nothing,” you say as you zoomed in, “Like, I’m so happy that it isn’t me next to him. All my love for him changed to hate, but now I… I just feel nothing but relief. I’m finally living my life. I finally think about myself for once, I always wanted to please Jaehyun. Jaehyun’s happiness, Jaehyun’s pleasure- everything was just Jaehyun. But I feel so much better now. I realized that I should love myself before I love someone else. I can’t remember the last time I thought about my feelings and my happiness and it feels so good to do that. I feel so happy and I guess I just needed my heart to get broken to realize that.”

At first you thought that hating Jaehyun was the best way to move on, but after focusing more on yourself and your feelings, there was no hate and no love more for Jaehyun. You moved on and you found yourself while doing so. You closed the chapter of your past with Jaehyun with a smile on your face, the memories didn’t hurt you anymore and you were strong, you were so strong and confident and that’s something you never had. Strength, self-love, and confidence helped you getting back on your feet and face your fears and you were thankful for the lessons life taught you. You were never going to let anyone tear you down and make you feel less of yourself because you learned that your feelings mattered and you learned to love yourself.

And now the chapter is closed and done To love, love, yeah To love, love, yeah To love, yeah And now it's goodbye, it's goodbye for us

Jaehyun on the other side was going through hell. He was missing something. No. He was missing someone. There was a big hole in his heart and he didn’t know how to fill it until he saw you smiling happily with your friends. Oh how much he missed that beautiful smile of yours and he can’t remember the last time he saw you smiling like this. His heart skipped a beat and something inside of him clicked.

To be continued in feel me, coming February 17...

read feel me HERE

[roo-bastmoon]

Some red flags

Disclaimer: not a medical professional. Not a nutritionist. Not Korean. Not trying to diagnose anyone. Only sharing my own personal thoughts as a compulsive overeater. Feel free to keep scrolling if not your thing.

In the past, Jimin has called himself an ugly pig and confessed to Hobi that he was worried because he “can’t stop eating.” And we all know about how he fainted because he went 10 days with only one meal but was constantly rehearsing. (Jimin is a perfectionist who used to rehearse until 4 in the morning during his school days, so I think it’s fair to call him an extremist.)

 But to hear him talk about it, that’s all in the past, he doesn’t starve himself any more, he eats well and he’s fine.

 And yet… in my opinion, Jimin still exhibits signs of binging (both food and alcohol) and food obsession.

 In the most recent V Live, Jimin ate for 25 minutes and commented:

·       He only feels 10% full

·       His face was too round these days

·       He can really put on weight

·       Once he starts eating, he can’t stop

·       Before he came to the US, he ate 5 meals a day and gained so much weight

·       It was really hard to lose that weight

·       He can’t have leftovers; he eats everything that’s in front of him immediately

·       He can eat an entire fried chicken by himself and then is puffy the next day

·       When dieting, he watches mukbangs (videos of other people eating)

·       He didn’t intend to eat but food was right in front of him and he couldn’t resist 

·       He no longer starves himself but he exercises a lot

 Some of this could just be differences in culture (I’m told binge drinking in Korea is quite normal, as is an obsession with diets, skincare, and plastic surgery), but when I hear Jimin talk about food, it’s just red flag after red flag for me.

 Also just my own opinion, but I think JK is exhibiting signs of an exercise obsession…

 After traveling internationally, being diagnosed with COVID (thankfully only mild symptoms), and under quarantine with orders to rest, he was dancing around and working out with weights in his hotel room. He insisted on doing this because he didn’t want “to get out of shape” or gain weight… from a few days of not exercising. (He also complained exasperatedly that all he did lately was eat and sleep... while sick with COVID.)

 On the third LV concert day, after 3+ hours performing, JK also was:

·       Running

·       Doing back lifts

·       Doing ab exercises

·       Boxing

·       Sparing

 And yet he refused to eat during the V Live, saying he’ll save it for tomorrow.

Because Jimin and Jungkook are always together (*casually looks into the camera like in The Office*), I think they both trade habits to some degree and shape each other’s perspectives.  

Overeaters Anonymous has defined as “symptoms of unhealthy food behaviors” to include:

·       Obsession with body weight, size, and shape

·       Periods of strict self-control followed by eating binges

·       Grazing on food that is there

·       Extremely restrictive diets

·       Inability to stop eating after the first bite

·       Preoccupation or obsession with food

·       Using food as a reward or for comfort

·       Over exercising 

·       Exercising to combat feelings of guilt for eating

Now I don’t know if the boys have an Eating Disorder™ but I do think they have an unhealthy relationship with food (due to their industry’s image standards--let’s not even start with Jin’s malnutrition from only eating chicken for a year). I think this because I’m a compulsive overeater and binge comfort eater myself (as are approximately 30% of the human population), and some of this just resonates loudly. I don’t mean to project, though.

 I wish with all my heart that Hybe would get each of the members their own trainer and nutritionist who will calculate their exact basal metabolic rates based on heartrate measurements during high intensity days, then ensure they get adequate calories with at least 3 meals of protein, fat, and carbs plus one snack on a daily basis. (I also think the members—like all human beings—would benefit from regular therapy sessions, but that’s a whole other post. Doubt my little tumblr blog is going to impact cultural stigmas on the other side of the world.)

 Maybe I’m way off base. Maybe they are just men in their twenties who are very active and then like to eat a lot and complaining about their lack of control is just a casual way for them as celebrities to relate to their image-conscious fans.

In any case, I hope they are doing okay. I’m gonna love and support all members of BTS even if they don’t shower or wear makeup or have pimples or stuff their faces or smoke or forget English words or fall down on stage or crack on high notes or miss their choreography from time to time. In fact that stuff often endears them to me more. I don’t love them because they are perfect; I love them because they are authentic, talented, kind-hearted people.

 These are just my thinky thoughts what I needed to think out loud. I appreciate others’ perspectives if folks feel like discussing the topic (just please keep it kind)!

Here, have a cute Jikook smiling compilation pic as a palate cleanser:

[yoddream]

You and Jeno were the best of friends. Growing up together, you saw each other’s good and bad moments, learned every flaw, and knew every fact. It was hard to separate the two of you, even in high school. You even started attending the same college. There wasn’t a single friend one had that the other didn’t.

Then, Jeno got a girlfriend.

There was nothing wrong with Yeeun. She was an absolute sweetheart and was always so nice to you. She made Jeno really happy, which was all you ever wanted. The problem was that Jeno seemed to give her all his time. It started out small, with him ditching you some days for lunch to have it with her instead. Then, he wouldn’t be able to make it to a hangout with your friends because he was taking her on a date. That turned into him canceling at the last minute. Soon, every lunch was spent with Yeeun. He stopped responding in the group chat as much. Sometimes he would leave you on read.

The last straw was him not showing up to movie night anymore, only to show up the next day with a bunch of hickeys on his neck. Movie nights started when you guys were toddlers. They were sacred and only canceled for emergencies or an illness. If anyone was on vacation, you would FaceTime and watch together. There was no excuse for him to miss movie nights.

That one broke you.

You couldn’t count how many times Jaemin held you as you cried yourself to sleep, knowing you’d practically lost your best friend. You hadn’t hung out with him in a long time, and it felt like a part of you was missing. It was obvious the others were worried about you, but they felt helpless. The bags under your eyes refused to disappear. You ate, but it wasn’t very much. You fell into a deep depression, and they did everything they could to get you out of it.

Were you too reliant on Jeno? Probably, but this wasn’t somebody you’d met recently; this was somebody you’d potty trained with, someone who gave you his stuffed dog when an older kid pushed you off the jungle gym and broke your arm, somebody who knew every secret you had. He was very special to you, and just like that, he was gone.

///

Jeno: hey, wanna get ice cream?

The text stared back at you. You rubbed at your eyes to make sure it wasn’t a dream, and sure enough, it was still on your screen, waiting for a response. You hadn’t showered in almost a week, which you knew annoyed Haechan because he had to smell you all the time since he was your roommate, and your face was covered in acne. You looked like this, and he suddenly wanted to hang out? Normally, you didn’t care how you looked when you hung out with your friends, but this was different. Jeno could see that you weren’t doing well, and you didn’t want that.

Wait.

You knew why he wanted to hang out.

He and Yeeun broke up.

That was the only explanation. Why else would he try to make plans? The last time you hung out alone was almost three months ago. You really only saw him when the group made plans and he wasn’t canceling to be with Yeeun. Why you, though? Why not the whole group?

You: yeah gimme an hour

When he sent a thumbs up emoji, you threw your phone down and raced to the bathroom. You took extra time in the shower to make sure everything was washed and fresh before getting out. Once you were dressed, you put on makeup, making sure to cover all the acne on your face. After deeming yourself presentable, you texted Jeno to ask where you were going for ice cream. He suggested the place near your apartment, so you grabbed your things and headed out, glad that Haechan wasn’t there to question you.

The ice cream place wasn’t far, but Jeno still managed to get there before you. As you approached him, you debated giving him a hug or not. It’s been so long, you didn’t know if it was okay anymore. It sounded insane, but his change in behavior made you question every action.

“Hey!” Jeno greeted you with his bright smile. It didn’t quite reach his eyes, but he still looked adorable. You waved to him and reached for the door, but he beat you to it and held it open for you.

The inside of the ice cream shop was cute, with pastel walls and cartoon cows painted on the counter. The tables were a light pink with white legs, and same with the chairs. It was small, but you two loved going there. You ordered and paid before bringing your cups to the table Jeno chose. He thanked you and dug in, not hesitating to eat his feelings.

“So, you and Yeeun broke up?” you asked.

He stopped eating. “How did you know?”

You paused. How could you explain it without either hurting his feelings or getting into an argument? Telling him the truth would surely change the vibe, and not for the better. “...Lucky guess.”

“Huh. Well, yeah. She broke up with me. I don’t even know why, though. She refused to tell me,” he explained, stabbing his spoon into his ice cream. “Like, was it something I did? Is it something I need to work on so that my next relationship lasts?”

“You think you won’t get back together?” you questioned.

He shrugged. “I mean, if she wants to, then I will, but that’s also if I still want to date her by the time she decided. It just sucks, because I thought things were going well. The sex was great, we got along really well, and we never fought. To be dumped just like that is just very strange.”

You winced at the comment about their sex lives, not really wanting to know in the first place. It did seem very out of the blue for her to break up with him, but you tried not to dwell too much on it. It would only upset him more.

The two of you caught up, but it seemed like he didn’t realize just how absent he was from your life. He asked about your classes and your family, wondering how they were doing since he hadn’t seen them in a while. You asked the same and also questioned if he’d made any friends, which he hadn’t. So all his time was spent with just Yeeun, it seemed.

When it was time to head back to your apartment, Jeno hugged you goodbye before heading the opposite direction. Your feet dragged, your body screaming for you to return to Jeno and get as much attention from him as possible, but you had homework you needed to work on, so you continued home.

///

“Jesus, just like that?” Jaemin asked Jeno.

The two of them were hanging out at Jaemin’s apartment, playing video games and talking about the break up. When Jaemin found out, he immediately called the other man and invited him over. They were catching up on things when Jaemin had asked about the break up, and Jeno told him everything.

“Just like that. No explanation. How the hell am I supposed to feel about that? Angry? Sad? I need something so I know how to process it,” Jeno ranted.

“Who else knows?”

“Well, Y/N figured it out when we went out for ice cream.”

“Wait, you hung out with Y/N?” Jaemin asked.

“Is it really that surprising?”

“Considering you practically dropped her, yeah.”

“What do you mean?”

“Dude, ever since you and Yeeun started dating, you’ve bailed on all your plans with Y/N. We tried to get her to give up, but she still had hope.”

Jeno’s heart started to race. Surely he didn’t do that to his best friend, right? Pulling out his phone, he opened his texts with you, and his stomach dropped at all the times he canceled on you, said he already had plans, or just left you on read. For months, you put up with it without saying a word to him. For months, you tried to keep your friendship going, and what did he do? Nothing.

“I’ve gotta go,” Jeno stated as he ran towards the door.

“What? Where are you going?” Jaemin called out.

“I need to fix this.”

Without elaborating, Jeno left the apartment and ran down the stairs. When he got outside, he hopped into his car and sped to your place. He couldn’t believe he did that. No wonder you seemed a little uncomfortable the other day. You didn’t know how to act around him anymore. He really fucked up.

Before he knew it, he was knocking on your apartment door. It took a few seconds, but then you were looking at him with wide eyes, clearly not expecting him to be standing there. He took in the dark circles under your eyes and the stress acne he knew you got whenever you were depressed and said, “I’ve been a really bad friend, haven’t I?”

The tears fell before it even registered that your eyes were watering. Soon, you were sobbing into Jeno’s shoulder as he stepped in and tried to soothe you. You started to hyperventilate, the emotions overwhelming you.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Y/N. It’s okay, though I’m here now,” he stated, repeating his words softly.

He managed to move the two of you to your room, lying on your bed with you wrapped in his arms. You continued to cry, and it surprised you that you had any tears left. He rubbed your back and pressed kisses to your hair, just like he did whenever your depression got really bad. He felt extremely guilty for being the cause of your tears and sadness.

“I missed you so much,” you whined.

“I missed you too I’m so sorry I ditched you. I shouldn’t have done that,” he said. “I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you.”

///

Dreamies (plus Y/N)

Haechan: (picture of you and Jeno sleeping in your bed with Jeno wrapped around you like a koala)

Haechan: all is right in the world again.

Jaemin: oh, that’s where he went.

Mark: Finally! I’m glad they’re working things out

Renjun: Good. I was really concerned about her

Chenle: look at Renjun having feelings

Haechan: gross

Jisung: seeing her cry made me cry so i’m glad they’re talking again

Chenle: you big baby

part two is here

[bakugou-tm]

Master Knows Best (18+)

Bakugou x Maid Cafe Reader

plot: You’ve gone almost a full year working at a maid cafe with none of your friends finding out, which is exactly how you liked it; but thanks to a certain friend your beloved hot headed boyfriend found out your secret and planned on teasing you the whole time. In a stubborn attempt to get back at him, you realized exactly what would happen if you disobeyed your master

warnings: suggestive NSFW, swearing, a shit ton of teasing

wc: 5200+

mood song: worst behavior

a/n: I was supposed to post this on valentine’s day but it’s better late than never right? I perhaps may make a part two depending on how this does but I’m also a s s at NSFW so we’ll see. For now just enjoy (especially my fellow brats out there)

You liked things to be simple. You were a simple girl, with a simple life.

Sure you had your secrets, but thanks to your overall simplicity, nobody even bothered to uncover them.

That’s just the way you liked it too. Each different part of your life was separated as they should, for if they intertwined your life would becoming a living nightmare.

You never dreamed that living nightmare would become a reality. Who knew all it would take to crumble the reputation you built up for so long...

was a simple text.

Sweat trickled down the ash blond’s toned arms, his ragged breath becoming more steady as he slumped down against the wall while his friend took a few rounds at the punching bag.

The sound of his phone buzzing beside him didn’t drag him out of his exhausted mindset quite yet, but when his crimson eyes glanced across the words on the screen he felt everything come to a halt.

electric dunce: remember that day time job (l/n) said she had during the weekends? i think i found it bro..

electric dunce: 1 attachment

Bakugou’s red haired training buddy noticed the change in spirit with his blond friend, noticing how his heavy breathing suddenly stopped.

Wiping his gloved hand across his forehead, Kirishima glanced down to his friend only to see Bakugou’s eyebrows knit in a deep focus.

“You uh... You okay bro?” Kirishima questioned with a raised brow, trying to control his own ragged breaths after he attacked the swaying back before him.

Before he could question his friend once more, Bakugou let out a breathy chuckle, one filled with mischief and even excitement if Kirishima listened well enough.

“Training is cut short today shitty hair.”

-

“Come onnnn (L/n), how could you tell us you have a job then not tell us what it is?” The pink haired girl whined as she slid her upper half onto your lap and sighed dramatically.

Giggling slightly your eyes flicked to Kaminari across from you as his lips doubled over into a pout, “The whole point of having a job is so your friends can come crash it!”

“And to make some money dumbo.” You sneered, flicking his forehead gently while glancing down to Mina’s attempt at puppy dog eyes, “Besides, I didn’t want to tell you guys. You forced me to tell you where I went after school or you said you would doxx me.”

Your friends let out a sigh of defeat as Kirishima glanced to your boyfriend beside you, “C’mon Baku-bro not even you know where she works?”

Smirking slightly you placed a gentle palm on your boyfriends cheek and winked to him tauntingly,

“Not even Katsuki~”

Bakugou simply clicked his tongue and smacked your hand away, “I don’t know because I don’t fucking care.”

Oh but he did care. It ate away at him everyday that you refused to reveal where you worked. You claimed it would be “embarrassing” for him to see you working and wearing a uniform but he failed to understand why it would be. He brutally antagonized you all the time and you never bat an eye, why would he care if he saw you wearing a ‘Mini-Mart’ uniform?

You simply hummed at your boyfriend’s denial and leaned against his side.

“Say whatever you need to make you feel better love,” You purred, grinning at his scowl before you looked to your group of friends,

“Because you will never find out where I work, ever.”

-

Bakugou felt like he was in a state of euphoria as he stood before the quaint wooden doors, decorated with all sorts of pastel ribbons and paint.

It was almost as if he was entering the doors of heaven, the ultimate satisfaction of knowing he was about to beat you and your stupid threat.

And better yet, of all the places to find out you worked, it was here?

Oh he was going to enjoy this, even beyond getting revenge.

“Never find out my ass.” Bakugou sneered with a smirk, letting the soft breeze flow through his spiky locks as he tugged open the door into the unknown.

Meanwhile you were attempting to gracefully, yet quickly, get your uniform back on since your break ended in about thirty seconds. You hated how good you had gotten at putting on this stupid uniform, soon enough it would be second nature to you.

Working at a Maid Cafe wasn’t exactly where you planned to end up. When you stumbled onto the small podium in kindergarten to announce your future career, you surely didn’t say “I want to be a server at a Maid Cafe!”

And yet here you were pulling up the thigh high socks to your frilly, bow covered maid dress.

Admittedly when you were searching for jobs, you were surprised to find no luck. Any job that paid well required university years, and any left over job wouldn’t pay enough for your time to walk there.

It wasn’t until your aunt came to you in your troubles and recommended the job of your nightmares.

“My sweetheart why don’t you just work at my niece’s Maid Cafe? You’ll get to work with very sweet young girls about your age, and they pay very well since they have a very diverse clientele!”

Immediately you threw away the idea before you could even process it, the thought of having to serve gross old men and pretend to be excited while doing it didn’t sound appealing, let alone possible.

With that said, that didn’t mean your aunt was going to give up just yet. Without telling you she scheduled an interview for you, telling you if you didn’t show up it would make your family look bad.

Feeling the inevitable guilt throughout the day, you submitted into your aunt’s wishes and at least showed up to the interview.

Who knew? Maybe they would just let you be a janitor or something.

Sure enough they wanted you as a maid, but before you could even deny they offered double what any job had offered you, even the high paying ones.

“We know the job isn’t ideal, which is why we pay so much. A young girl like you would be just perfect here!”

Push came to shove, and somehow you ended up working at the cafe for a year and a half now.

You couldn’t lie, dressing up all cute and getting to hang out with a bunch of sweet girls was pretty fun. It beats mopping an empty grocery store with creepy co-workers.

With that said, the dread of having to deal with pervy customers and the existential fear of one of your friends walking through the door almost outweighed the pros of the job.

Luckily you had been able to escape doom for this long, so what are the odds that would change anytime soon?

-

The sound of the bell charming brought you back to your senses, quickly tying the silk bow behind your back you stumbled out into the break room to see your boss awaiting.

“Phew I thought you almost ditched us (L/n).” Your boss said with a wink.

Rolling your eyes you began walking backwards towards the swinging doors that led to the dining room.

“Have I ever failed you Miss Manager?” You purred with a grin.

Satisfied with her laugh you danced through the double doors, putting on your cute act once again. Only two hours left and you could go home and pig out on what was left in your pantry.

If that’s truly all it took, you didn’t mind turning on your “anime girl” side for a few hours.

Smiling at all the guests you made sure to check on everyone’s table before making your way towards the greeting podium. The doorbell went off so that meant some sort of customer was waiting to be sat.

Giving one last wink to a customer you whipped your head towards the front doors and gave a small bow before looking up.

“Welcome back to Maid Cafe master, would you like me to show you to your se..AHHHH!”

The moment your eyes met the sturdy figure before you, all senses jumped out the window as you screeched and jumped backwards defensively.

How.. How could this happen? This couldn’t be happening. All your intricate planning and anxious working to make sure no one you knew would ever catch you on the job.

And out of all the people in the world... it had to be Katsuki Bakugou.

Your ever so taunting boyfriend.

Sure enough Bakugou had a shit eating grin on his face, his eyes glowing with excitement for probably more reasons than you could count.

“Well well well, don’t you look familiar.”

At this point words weren’t even an option in your mind, you couldn’t tell if the cold spike of fear shooting up your spine was worse or the overwhelming heat that flared along your face.

Your little outburst didn’t go unnoticed by the guests and maids, all eyes moved to the two of you as you stumbled over your own words.

“Y..You- I.. but I.. and you! I can’t...”

“(L/n) is something the matter?”

The sound of your boss’ sweet voice from behind you caused you to shriek again as you now jumped to face her.

Feeling your face grow even warmer you avoided eye-contact with her, trying to use what was left of your slowly deflating brain to come up with an excuse to fix this entire mess.

“Yeah princess, is something the matter?”

Between the chilling tone and the pet name you physically shuddered, your head slowly peaking back to the problem at hand.

Bakugou couldn’t help but notice your reaction, sneering cockily as he looked down on you with pride.

“Zip it Bakugou-” 

“Ah ah..” Bakugou started before you could even finish your threat, “I believe you are supposed to refer to me as master.”

If your brain wasn’t broken before, it sure was now. Your internal mix of equally enjoying this and hating this had officially clashed and broken any sense at this point. All you could feel beyond anger at this point was complete and utter embarrassment.

“(L/n) you’re not having any trouble greeting our guest, are you?” Your boss questioned sternly.

You’ve honestly never heard her get so serious with you, given this was far from her angry side, but you hated disappointing your superiors.

Glancing around you still noticed some eyes on you along with your suspicious boss’. At this point there was no escaping the situation, and like hell were you going to give this bastard the satisfaction of your embarrassment.

“N..No ma’am, no trouble at all!” You said back in your sweet work voice, offering the best smile you could muster before twitching back to your smug boyfriend.

“Let me uh... let me show you to your table...” You stuttered out, grabbing a single menu before looking up at your expectant boyfriend’s expression. You knew exactly what the little shit was waiting for, and if you didn’t say it your boss would surely drag you to the back.

“Master.”

Bakugou sighed in dramatic satisfaction, clasping his hands together sarcastically and bending down to your level, “Fucking splendid.”

Gritting your teeth you glared into his crimson orbs before spinning on your heel, plastering the cute smile on your face so your boss could get off your back.

Once she seemed to notice you returned to your old state, she let out a gentle sigh and walked away to serve her tables.

At the very least you felt a bit less tense knowing she wasn’t following you like a hawk, but she was far from the problem at hand.

Quickly b-lining towards a table in the corner, you slammed the menu down and pulled out the chair, offering the most sarcastically pleasant smile you could.

Bakugou gladly took his seat, making sure to drag his hand along the small of your back on the way down. He throughly enjoyed each time you shivered from his touch, or even words.

First you decided to take his order, making sure all eyes were officially off the two of you. Once you decided the coast was clear, you quickly grabbed the collar of his tank top, as you bent down to be eye level with him.

“How did you find out about my job Katsuki.”

Bakugou grunted in surprise, catching himself quickly before he smirked back to your fuming expression. Oh how adorable you were when you were mad.

Your thick eyebrows would knit together in a deep focus and your plush lips would pinch into a perfect pout that drove him crazy.

As the blond smugly glanced over your features, his eyes flicked up only to notice other eyes were facing the two of you once again, only this time they only seemed to be on you. On your backside.

The way you were bending down seemed to perfectly expose your backside to the world, and your dumbass was too oblivious with him to even realize it.

Clicking his tongue, Bakugou placed a firm palm on the edge of your spine before shoving you down to your knees so the back of your dress would cover your backside once again.

The action caused a small yelp to escape your lips, you assumed he had done it to embarrass you which made you that much more mad.

“Answer. My. Question.”

Once the ash blond was satisfied with your state and he glared at any that dared to still look at you, he glanced back down to your fiery orbs with an unimpressed look.

Rolling his eyes he slapped your hand away causing you to huff before he shoved the photo Kaminari sent to him.

Glancing over the photo you eyes widened to see a photo of you through the window of the Maid Cafe assisting a customer.

Your cheeks began to glow red again as you worriedly looked up to Bakugou, “You guys actually doxxed me?!”

Bakugou raised a brow and snatched his phone back with a sigh.

“I didn’t, I can’t speak for that stupid dunce but I’ll deal with his reasoning later,” He explained before his dreadful smirk returned as he cupped the edge of your chin, “Back to the elephant in the room, how come you hid such a delicious fucking secret from your master.” 

As much as you would’ve loved this behind closed doors, to be openly embarrassed in public made your head feel like it was going to explode.

“S..Stop acting all smug you idiot!” You snapped, smacking his hand from your chin and standing up straight, “I hid this from you so you wouldn’t act like an egotistical dick.”

At this Bakugou barked out a laugh, the booming sound causing you to jump a bit as he slouched back in his chair, folding his arms with that smug grin.

“I think we’ve already come to the conclusion that my fucking ego is backed up, or have you forgotten doll?”

His piercing red eyes narrowed to your own, the sight making you blush as you jerked your head to the side and huffed.

“Can you order already idiot? I’ve got plenty of other orders to take.”

Bakugou simply smirked and picked up the menu, glancing down the options before shoving it in your arms.

“I’ll get two of the shitty rice bears,” He explained, grinning when he saw you look up with a raised brow, “I’ve got a hungry maid coming home soon waiting to please her master.”

Your confused expression turned into a flushed angry one as you snatched the menu from him and turned on your heel. You didn’t even remember what he asked for but at this point you didn’t care. You just wanted to hide from the customers so you could collect what dignity you had left.

The moment you brushed by the double doors you let out a sigh of relief as you rested your head against the back wall. Maybe if you closed your eyes and pinched yourself hard enough you would wake up from this horrible nightmare?

You could only imagine the things Bakugou was thinking. Does he think you’re some ditzy pushover maid girl now? Is he texting your friends telling them that you work here? Honestly Kaminari has probably already done that.

It was so nice having the upper hand on him for once, but now that he took every last bit of dignity and laughed in your face, you were doomed.

“Rough shift huh?”

Raising your brows you peaked an eye open to see one of your coworkers with a concerned expression. Standing up straight you fixed a piece of your hair and nodded.

“Yeah I guess you could say that..”

“How come you were acting so weird with that customer (L/n)-chan?” Your manager called from behind, carrying a bunch of plates as she walked beside your coworker, “Is it because he’s crazy hot?”

Folding your arms you let out a huff as you pouted your lips out,

“Try boyfriend.”

Both girls gasped in shock, your boss nearly dropping the plates in her hand as they looked two you in disbelief.

“Wow sorry for calling him hot, I never knew you had a boyfriend (L/n)! And a hunk at that~”

Letting out a slight chuckle, both your eyes fell on your coworker when she spoke up.

“You know this same thing happened to me with my boyfriend,” She spoke while tapping her finger against her cheek in thought, “I didn’t want him finding out about my job because I knew he would make fun of me, then one day he showed up and sure enough started making fun of me.”

Frowning you let out a sigh as you rubbed the side of your face exasperatedly, “My dumb boyfriend is doing that too! What did you end up doing with yours?”

Your coworker grinned as she shrugged.

“I simply fought fire with fire. Since he was making fun of me, I made him eat his words and watch me serve the other customers. He ended up getting so jealous he left!”

The advice she had given you finally brought warmth back to your numb body, you felt a grin rise to your face as you quickly wrapped your arms around your coworker.

“You are a lifesaver woman! I owe you so much for that advice.”

Your coworker simply laughed and hugged you back, happy to see you back in your normal cheerful state.

“Yeah have some fun but don’t ruin the experience for our other guests!” Your boss called out before walking out the door with the plates.

“I should probably get out there too, let me know if you need any help (L/n)-chan.” Your coworker said with a mischievous grin before dancing out the double doors.

Your mind was rushing with ideas, how could you of not thought of this before? Your explosive boyfriend could get jealous from a rock on the street, this would be the perfect pay back for you!

If he was going to come into your workplace and wreak havoc, you would do the same for his inflated ego.

Fixing up your dress you grabbed the two plates and narrowed your eyes towards the dining room.

“Bring it on Bakugou Katsuki.”

-

Oh did Bakugou feel pleased with himself.

Normally he hated skipping out on a workout, but this was worth it.

He couldn’t let the image of your adorable flushed expression and tense body escape his mind. Let alone that maid costume on you was divine on your plush skin.

The fact that you refused to wear a maid costume in the bedroom made it that much better, no wonder you were trying to hide this job from him.

The way the black silk hugged every curve, just tight enough to where your skin was overflowing from the material. And those thighs squeezing out of those adorable thigh highs drove him wild.

If he hadn’t made the best discovery of his life today, he would almost be mad you were strutting around in such a costume for anyone other than himself.

Deciding to wait another day to deal with that, Bakugou simply enjoyed the scenery and awaited for his girlfriend.

Just like clockwork he saw your form dance out of the backroom a bit too peppy. The thought of you “collecting” yourself in the back only made him sneer with a sadistic grin, he would simply break you all over again when you served him the food.

Just as you sauntered over to his table, the ash blond looked you up and down with a smirk, opening his mouth to say something truly condescending until your body turn away from him and towards another table.

“Here’s your panda shaped muffin and honeydew boba masters!” You spoke to the two customers at the table in front of him, “Is there anything else I can get for you my handsome masters?”

Bakugou felt his heart drop at the sound of you calling another living organism your master. Were you doing this on purpose? Is this usually how you talked to the shitty customers here?

His answer was confirmed when a small squeak escaped your lips and you bent down towards the table, your chest surely giving the two guests a show given their cherry lit cheeks as your thumb grazed across one of the customer’s cheeks.

“Silly master, you have some icing on your cheek.” You said with the most divine giggle he had ever heard. Gritting his teeth his entire world froze when you stuck the finger in your mouth and licked the white cream off clean, “No worries, I got it for you~”

The man before you looked like he was going to bust on the spot, his friend watching with his jaw dropped and eyes filled with jealousy.

Smiling sweetly you gave them one last bow, “Let me know if you need anything else masters!”

Just before you danced away from their table you glanced to Bakugou, giving him a small smirk as you looked him up and down with unimpressed eyes before sauntering away, leaving your explosive boyfriend on the verge of a breakdown.

You truly had a death wish. It was the only explanation for your actions. For almost a full hour you kept that act up, leaving the many guests within the cafe speechless and ogling over you. You knew exactly how jealous Bakugou could get, and you knew he hated admitting it.

Of course Bakugou also knew what a little tease you were. He didn’t miss the delight in your glistening eyes each time you taunted him, waiting for the repercussions of his wrath. But this...

This crossed the line of his sanity.

The ash blond tried to wait til your shift was over, he really did. As furious as he was with you, he wasn’t irresponsible enough to make you lose your job. But the moment your finger tips danced along the shoulder of a guest, any bit of restraint the male had left in his body had snapped like a twig.

The sound of him storming up from his table caused the immediate guests around him to look up, his silverware clanking against the pink trimmed plate as he made a direct line towards you.

Unfortunately for you, the scene your boyfriend caused went over your head as you continued to jot down the order from the customers before you. Focusing on your blossom shaped ordering pad you didn’t notice the horrified expressions on the customers before you as the saw an angry Bakugou storming up behind you.

“I’ll get those orders right up for you masters~” You exclaimed with a cute wink as you began to walk off until a firm hand wrapped around your wrist in a vice grip.

Bakugou could have loosened his bit a grip he realized when you let out a small yelp but he had already committed and like hell was he going to let you flirt with another damn customer right before his very eyes.

Your sweet words, gentle touches, suggestive actions... they weren’t meant for him and him only.

Immiedetly you recognized your boyfriend’s sharp hold and tried to tug your hand away so not to make a scene, but the ash blond simple spun your wrist around and pinned it to your back, giving him full control of wherever you walk.

With a squeak he shoved you forward, causing you to stumble over your own feet as he quickly pushed you towards the backroom.

You briefly met gaze with your boss as he shoved you by, your eyes pleading for help as they were filled with regret. Your boss opened her mouth, not sure what to even do.

“E..Excuse me sir? You can’t touch the-”

Before she could even finish her sentence Bakugou flashed a sharp glare to the woman, his crimson orbs thin from lack of patience and absolute fury.

Your boss was smart enough to know your boyfriend was truly about to go feral, for her life and your own she decided it was best to turn away and pretend she saw nothing.

You let out a small pout when you saw her attempt to serve the shocked guests, leaving you to be shoved into the backroom by a surely pent up Bakugou.

Once you reached the back you saw your coworker, the one that had given you such brilliant advice before, shoving a pastry in her mouth as she was on her break. Her eyes first fell on the dark lidded ones of your boyfriend before falling on your pleading fearful eyes.

Her mouth opened, unsure of what to say before closing.

“I’m uh.. gonna take my break outside.” She muttered softly, politely pushing the chair in and offering the best smile she could before she quickly shuffled out the back doors.

Once the room was clear Bakugou let go of your wrist, giving you a chance to stretch your arm back in it’s proper position before the sound of the back door slamming to a close caused you to shriek in surprise.

Bakugou couldn’t help but smirk as you jumped, as angry as he was he loved seeing you so on edge thanks to him. Returning to a serious expression he watched as you turned around, attempting to put on a serious face of your own.

“Bakugou you know I still have thirty minutes left of my shift-”

Trying to speak was hard enough as is with the thick tension in the room, but when the ash blond slammed his hands on either side of you against the wooden break table you let out a shriek and quickly sat back against the ledge attempting to gain some more space between you two.

The action made him chuckle dryly as he looked you up and down.

“You’re still going to act like a fucking brat huh? After the show you just put on?” Bakugou spoke lowly, his eyes drinking in the sight of your costume only swirling more pent up feelings within him, “Someone’s feeling spunky today?”

You bit at the corner of your lip, swallowing what left of saliva was in your dry mouth as you tried terribly to avoid eye contact.

“Hiding such a naughty job from me, and then when I catch you red handed this is the treatment I get?” Bakugou hisses with clenched fists, “You should’ve been at my fucking heel all day for keeping such a delicious lie from me and yet you taunt me like you’re the one in charge?”

His harsh words made heat rise to your cheeks as you looked down at your frilly dress, trying to find anything to look at besides his face. Surely you knew that wasn’t going to pass with him.

“Look at me when I fucking speak to you brat.” Bakugou growled, his eyes narrowing when he saw your lips pinch together stubbornly.

Letting out an annoyed sigh he grabbed your wrist roughly before shoving you back against the thin wall and grabbing your jaw harshly shoving it against the wall with a hard knock, forcing your eyes to meet.

The sight of your cheeks being squished together by his large palms and your wide glassy eyes forced to look into his own, he couldn’t hide his smug smirk as he felt you lightly tremor beneath him.

“Much better doll.” Bakugou cooed, voice laced with sarcasm as you both knew the next chain of events were about to get quite violent.

“Now, I was planning on patiently waiting for you to get off so we could take this conversation in private...” Bakugou spoke, eyes narrowing down to yours as he let out a sinister laugh, “Hell I even bought you a treat, I’m such a generous fucking boyfriend aren’t I?”

Your breathing was ragged as you stared up into his crimson eyes, your brain was so fogged by the situation that you hadn’t even realized what he asked until his grip on your jaw tightened.

“I asked you a fucking question.”

Blinking back to reality you nodded deserpatly, not daring to look away from his gaze as you let out a slight whimper that shot directly to his pants.

“Good.” Bakugou said with a dark smile before continuing on, “But now I cannot go along with that generous plan because you can’t go two seconds without acting like a fucking slut.”

The filthy words spewing from his lips caused your face to grow warm, the entire situation already had your silk underwear drenched, but his words alone caused you to brush your plump thighs together desperately.

Your actions didn’t go unnoticed by the ash blond as he roughly shoved a knee between your legs causing a whine to escape your lips when he refused to put any friction on your aching core.

“Even now you can’t help but act like a brainless bitch in heat.” Bakugou sneered with a grin, his hand on your jaw lowering to now grip on your neck gently so not to cut off any air.

“Because you’ve disobeyed me multiple times today, I’m going to have to set you straight right here in public so you know who truly has the power here.”

Your mouth opened to rebuttal as your eyes widened at his idea, but his hand only gripped tighter around your throat causing the words shove back down your throat.

“And then,” Bakugou hissed, “If you perform like a good little maid, I may give you what you want when we get home. Maybe.”

You let out a shaky breath as he narrowed his eyes down to you, trying to read what you were feeling right now.

“Now you’re going to be my good little slutty maid and serve me until I’m satisfied, you fucking got that?”

As Bakugou’s grip on your neck loosened, your posture relaxed a bit as you nodded to his question, only for the grip to return as he growled down to you.

“Try again.”

Biting your lip your thighs attempted to squeeze against his knee for any sort of friction at all as any conscious thought was clouded with ashamed lust for the man before you.

“Y..Yes master.”

[marvelyhp]

Still you | chapter II

Chapter II: The comeback

Synopsis: Y/n decides to help the Avengers despite their betrayal two years prior and her life makes a big shift once again.

Pairing: Y/n x Bucky Barnes and some Y/n x Sam Wilson

Word count: 5,997

warnings: cussing, some fluff

note: I know I took so long but I had writer's block. then, I got covid and I felt too awful to write. But I'm okay now so this is what I could come up with. Not my greatest stuff. the tag list is open :)

Side note: I would really appreciate hearing from you and your thoughts!

--------------------

We managed to lower two floors without raising suspicion or making too much noise. At least, James and I were pretty silent, whispering if needed. But of course, Stark always had to open his damn mouth. He had been talking all the way —pretty loudly too— and he just did it again.

“Where’s the grandpa with the bad luck of having you as a tenant?” The man didn’t know the meaning of whispering. Or maybe he did. He just wanted to make my life more complex than it was. I looked frantically behind me, praying he had not seen me sneaking out. At the sight of no one, a breath of relief exploded out of me. But it didn’t last long, irritation quickly dampening my already poor mood.

“Shut the hell up!” I hissed. My patience with the insufferable man wearing thin.

“Oh, relax. If he sees us, we’ll knock him out and blame you.” He mocked, a chuckle erupting throughout the hall and following the stairlike a draft of wind. My blood started to boil inside my veins and I felt the heat spread from head to toes. I was afraid to be reaching my tipping point already because this was nothing. Two years out of practice left me hypersensitive to his shit. I wondered how long I would be able to stand the insufferable mortal and regret hit me like a ton of bricks.

“He is a good man, Stark. We will not knock him out.” I whispered as I pressed myself against the wall. Twisting my head around the corner at the end of the hall, I sneaked a glance at the stairs and the visible space from the top. “Watch your step here. His room is right underneath the stairs. We don’t want to wake him up.

I walked forward, pressing my foot in the first step, praying the creak of the old wood would keep quiet today as it did some nights. At least that’s what I hoped but it wasn’t what happened. A groan broke the silence in the room and I knew that if he was awake, he definitely heard it. I waited a couple of seconds, alert to any noise. When nothing came, I advanced four more steps. I focused on the one shadow dancing in the wall and relief swept through me. He wasn’t awake.

I turned, thinking the guys were still up. However, I let out a gasp when Bucky’s face came into view, mere inches away from mine. Thanks to the startle, the foot I had dangerously close to the edge slipped.

My heart stopped as I thought about the fall and the inevitable bone-crushing pain that would come after it. The stairs were pretty high and even though they were wood, it was quite sharp. Splinters roamed everywhere. I waited for the pain and the strenuous sound. It was phenomenal, the first time I saw the team in two years and I would meet them in a body bag with a broken neck.

However, it never came.

When I opened my eyes, blue electric eyes stared back at me. Our faces were inches away from each other. A hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me flush against him to hold me from falling. I was hyper-aware of our breaths clashing against each other, making the most sinful of sounds. Our lips were separated by a small space, too close for my brain to catch up quickly. I noticed how his lips roamed my face, stopping at my lips slightly parted by the surprise. His eyes held a fervent fire and my breath quickened once I felt the inevitable rush of warmth roaring my body.

Coughing slightly, I took a step backward, stepping out of his grasp. I forgot all about the landlord as I scolded myself. The man looked at me and there I was getting flushed like a raging hormonal teenager. I looked at everything but Bucky’s face, why I knew still had his eyes on me except now his jaw was firmly set. I wanted to ask him what was going on inside his head but a hovering shadow at the top of the stairs captured my attention.

“What are you still doing up there?'' The man looked utterly confused standing at the top of the stairs surrounded by darkness. I wondered if it had to do with what he just witnessed.

“You care about that grandpa, don’t you?” His expression was one of disbelief. His body wasn’t moving as if in shock or trying to process the information he thought was correct. And it was, but he didn’t have to know.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, unaffected.

“Of course you do. You care about the landlord.”

I whirled around as fast as I could with the incident earlier present in my head as a gruff voice filled the room. A short, stubby old man stood at the foot of the stair dressed in a white t-shirt and some basketball shorts. The ends of his hair stood up as if held by a string and maneuvered by a child. His narrowed black eyes stared back at us. His lips pressed in a thin line.

“Of course, she does, kid. Why shouldn't she?” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. I followed the movement of the milk dancing in the glass on his right hand. I felt proud of the English I had taught him and how-- as much as I didn't want this to happen-- useful it would be. I looked back at Stark to find him gaping like a fish. Little croaks came from his throat but no coherent words came from him. It was the first time I had seen Stark speechless. “I’m an incredible landlord if I say so myself.”

He was.

I cursed inwardly. There were things I didn't want everyone to know. To a certain extent, I wasn’t ready for the team, for Stark, to find out that I wasn’t the monster he expected me to be. I wasn’t ready for him to look at me differently. Andrei had the power to change our whole dynamic.

It wasn’t that Andrei and I shared anything about life. Or at least I didn’t. Andrei liked to talk, to share his life with me, and try to make me talk. He said I was too reserved. I remember that day like it was yesterday.

It had been a warm evening. I could see the sun filtering through the windows. Shining onto the top of the show top and illuminating the cottage-like bakery. The dough in my hands stuck to my skin, lumps of a uniformed cream mass suffocating the fingers. The powdered white dust sat beside me and I felt irritated. I hadn’t thought about pouring it on the mixture before I touched it. ‘I was out of my element here’ I thought as I reached for the flour.

Andrei’s baker had abruptly called five minutes before work notifying him he couldn’t work his shift. His grandmother had fallen down the stairs and fractured her hip, hence his lack of concern for Andrei. He was the only living relative she had so it fell upon him to look after her. One missed shift would turn into dozens. The bakery was small and hidden in a remote part of Romania. The clientèle was not much besides those living in the small town from years ago, or even since they were born.

Everyone in town knew each other. When I arrived I had my doubts about staying in this place because of that same reason. I would be the talk for weeks and I couldn’t risk so many people questioning my presence. Except, I was lucky.

One evening, I sat in a small and dark corner of a bar near the outskirts of the town where it was most probable to see an outsider. Two men sat a couple of feet away from me, talking fairly loudly. Out of boredom and desire to know the people I might have been seeing every day, I heard and studied their moments. Taking notes about their behaviors and storing them far into the file I had on humanity. Their voices were cheery as they ate pastries that I was sure to not be from the small bar.

“This is so good! I can’t believe I haven't tasted a pastry this good since I left,” he moaned loudly in reaction to the puff on his hand. The crumbly dessert spilling powdered sugar all over his dark gray pants. “Andrei hasn’t lost his touch.”

“Who is this Andrei you talk so highly of?” The older male asked the seemingly young partner. The man wore an expensive suit, not one that could be found here and from what I gathered from their conversation, he had not grown up here. But his friend did. What he said next grabbed my attention the most.

“His bakery is pretty hidden in the town. Someone that didn’t know the road would not find him. He used to be a criminal, on the run and all that. But since he got out of prison he became a baker. the man sure has a gift. I don’t even know why he went to jail, because the man is a sweetheart. I think he was just dealt a bad hand.” The man kept munching on his pastry as he talked. The vowels all merging to create a soundless blob. I swore he said more but that was all I could understand and by the face of his friend, he understood less.

“It’s such a small town. Why was it never known?”

“I don’t know. Rumor has it that he was born here but left, something to do with his family. He came back years later, on the run from some people. People we assumed to be the police. Of course, the police followed his trail and eventually found him here. Two years later. He hid pretty well if, you asked me. He treats people with respect but he never talks about himself. He has always been reserved when it comes to his life, only telling small details that lead to nothing. You know, not enough to form a life picture…”

Before he finished talking, I was out of my seat, walking towards the pair. I plastered an innocent look on my face, one I had studied and perfected many times since coming to earth. I relaxed my posture, knowing I had been tense and tucked since I entered this town. I still can’t believe I was social before. Nobody would believe that if I told them now.

“Hey, those pastries look marvelous!” I said in a cheery voice when I reached the pair. Both of their heads whipped towards my direction, curiosity written in their faces. I could hear the questions in their head about me and where I came from and what I looked for in town. Typical gossiping mortals. I wanted to cut the tie between our heads, feeling bad about corrupting the men’s thoughts. But I couldn’t, not until I had what I wanted. “Do you know where could I find them?”

“Sure thing. What’s your name, sweet thing?” Sweet thing, that’s funny. If he had been into the American news he would not say that.

“Calypso. Do you know where the place is? Can you explain it to me?” I said, trying to hide the hurry in my voice. His thoughts were front seat in my mind, not wanting to miss a thing.

“So eager.” He chuckled. Instead of the route, I was expecting, he thought about my naked form and countless sexual images began replaying. I resisted the urge to impale his backside, taking a deep breath and counting to ten. I played his game. I battered my eyelashes and looked at him from hooded eyes. I bit my lip gently and walked closer. Sneaking a glance at his friend, I noticed he was no longer looking at us. He seemed uncomfortable and had turned to his coffee and pastries. I wish I had a coffee to turn to.

“Maybe you could take me there. If you remember the way, of course.” He smirked and grabbed the jacket slung over the wooden chair he sat on. His friend looked at us, startled as if he wasn’t expecting my response. However, the joy of his friend would be short-lived. Images of the way to the small bakery filled my head and I smirked. Before he could take my hand to guide me to his car I asked for the restroom.

As soon as I came in, my eyes searched for some window I could use to leave unnoticed. And I found it in the corner of the bathroom beside one of the huge black and white mirrors. I locked the door and hurried to open the window, sliding through the door. The darkness of the night didn’t face me but my alert was high. Everybody could hide in the dark. My heart rocked against my chest as I saw the same guy from early waiting beside his car. I hurried along the alleyway, pulling my hood up and hiding my hair, disappearing into the dark.

“Calypso, boy for you.” I was brought from my memories by the rough voice of Andrei. Whoever didn’t spend much time with him would think he was mad all the time thanks to his voice and forever furrowed white bushy eyebrows. I matched the furrowing of his eyebrows when he mentioned a boy. I had been careful enough to not get attached or get anyone attached to myself so the mention of another human being besides Andrei spooked me.

Suddenly, the thought of agents looking for me or the usual threats I had filled me with panic. I heard the thunderous beat of my heart. The tremble of my hands disrupted the beautiful form of the pastry in my hands. quickly cleaning and taking away the apron full of white dust, I walked to the front of the door.

A dark-haired man in his early twenties stood next to the door with a blue box in his hands. A white shimmering ribbon adorned the delicate box, wrapping silkily around it to form a well-done bow. The chiseled bone structure of his profile caught my breath as he looked to the small, underpopulated plaza in the corner of the rondure. The curvature of his roman nose and the thin shape of his lips sticking in his profile.

I saw him regularly at the small bakery. His usual was a Papanaşia with a black strong coffee. He left three dollars on the tip jar three times a week and I noticed if he was overly happy, he would leave a fiver regardless of the day or how many days he had tipped. I had seen him mad twice in the store. Seemingly, he was one of those guys that harbored every trouble inside in a chaotic turmoil. I knew because I had invaded his mind one of those times. Curiosity had gotten the best of me, knowing he was always the type of guy that carried the sun on his shoulder. Every time he caught my attention, I tried to remind myself that he could’ve been an agent sent by Hydra to kill me or worse, kidnap me.

“Hello. What can I help you with?” I said, confidence laced in my voice. The confidence I did not expect to have. His head whipped towards me. A smile broke on his face at the sight of me. I saw the fidgeting of the box in his hands and the sudden bobbing of his knee. He didn’t appear to be harboring any secrets, or at least not deadly ones.

“Hey. I know this will probably look very weird to you but I’ve been watch- I mean not watching but I just- I,” His stammering caused a giggle to leave my lips involuntarily. My hand immediately flew to my lips, hiding the smile corrupting my face. He lowered his face but not before giving me one of those smiles that could light up a world. God, I felt sappy. He looked at me once again. “I don’t know how to do this. I definitely didn’t think it through.” He chuckled. One of his hands came up to brush his face while shaking it, side to side. I could tell he was nervous, maybe more that I initially had been.

Seeing him stammer was the cutest thing I had seen since the little green and purple flowers that grew back home and surrounded our palace. So, I decided to help him a bit. “You could start with your name,” I said, trying to not smile too much. Agent, agent, agent…

“God, you probably should’ve done that first. Nice one.” He said, more to himself than for me to hear it. “I’m Razvan. It's lovely to finally meet you.” I shook his hand. It was rough yet soft with elongated fingers caressing my own small and thin one.

“Calypso.”

“What I meant to say, you know, before I shot myself in the foot was that you caught my eye since I first saw you. Now, I swear I'm not stalking you because it could be easy to think after the horrible introduction I just did. But, yeah, I would like to get to know you, if that’s okay with you.”

I did think about it. I swear I did. I thought about how he could be linked to Hydra and if you searched on the deepest paranoid corner, the Avengers. I thought he could’ve been just a random murderer whose floor I had shaken. My voice of reason said no. and with the saddest feeling settling my stomach, I told him what I thought. Or tried to.

“I’m sorry, I-I can’t. You seem like the loveliest person b-but I…” For some reason, I couldn’t just say no. “Can I think about this?” That was the only thing that came out of my mouth while I tried to get the words ‘go away and ‘don’t speak to me’ out of my mouth. His smile faded a bit, but even then he tried to keep his positivity and bright personality on. I could feel the waves of disappointment once I started speaking but hope soon came flooding back.

“Sure. I'm a complete stranger coming here every day just to see you. I can see how that’s alarming. take your time.” He shook his head as if realizing what he had just said. He chuckled and I tried to give him a small smile. Before I could turn away and leave, I felt him touch my elbow. I jumped back.

His brows furrowed quickly. “Forgive me. This is for you. And please accept it.” I thought about refusing but this would only prolong this meeting, pushing me to accept a company I wasn't ready for. I took the small box, my hand already trying to open the shimmering blue box. “No, please. Open it later, more calmly and everything and you can tell me whenever you’re ready if you like it.” I gave him a smile, which he returned brightly before diving back inside the back of the store.

Once inside, I undid the delicate ribbon, watching it dissolve like seafoam by the lovely blue water. The glistening gold chain with a tiny, colorful Koi fish rested in the center of the box. My heart swelled and I felt a way I hadn’t felt since Bucky. He remembered what I had told him that first, and the only time we had talked before today.

The voice of Andrei brought me out of my stupor with a jump. A hand traveled to grasp my heart while the other held the box tightly.

“Razvan is nice guy.” His voice was gruff and deep like it had been since I had met him. He walked behind me and grabbed a pack of flour to dump beside me. I looked towards the other and realized I was running out of it.

“Do you know him?”

“Yes. Comes every day for two years. Great boy.”

When I didn’t say anything, he stopped cutting open the pack of flour and turned to look at me. “You too reserved. Not want to end like Andrei alone. Give guy chance.” That was all he said before he left. A tall wrinkly woman with short red hair calling out for him.

The last thing I thought that day after he left drove me to the same road he had set me on. I didn’t want to end alone or die alone for that matter. But what was I to do if everyone thought I was a selfish monster who just wanted to kill and bring chaos? The only person who didn’t feel that particular way was the same man I was leaving without saying goodbye.

Stark seemed to have gathered his words together because he suddenly began spewing some shit on Andrei. shit, he didn’t like it.

“The girl is no selfish girl. Only a fool like yourself would think so. Only a blind man would propose such a thing.” His brows were furrowed but Otherwise, he was calmly standing at the bottom of the stairs sipping his milk. He seemed like he would continue but I made sure to stop him

“Andrei, no.”

“I see. She holds you hostage and controls you, doesn’t she?” Stark countered, a smirk settling in his features. I pinched my nose, sighing loudly.

“You have to leave with this buffoon?” I walked down to his side, muttering an annoyed yes. “I’m sadder for you than him.” A chuckle escaped him as he hugged my shoulders with one arm. I tried to push him away but found no will to do so. I would miss Andrei. He felt like the father I never had. Worry settled in my stomach knowing I had been here and I would no longer be if anything happened to him. I hugged him back, despite my better judgment and the four pairs of eyes staring back at me.

“Don’t forget about me, violet. Nor dear Razvan.’ He told me after letting me go. I nodded before calling back to my two companions. Stark came down, slowly walked to the front door. Bucky at his heels. They both turned. Bucky’s face had some sort of emotion I couldn't decipher. I thought I could, but I doubt he would feel happy about finding someone genuine to spend my days with.

Stark, on the other hand, looked at Andrei as if he had grown an extra head.

“I’m confused. Aren’t you supposed to be dying at her touch or something? Are you sure she didn’t threaten you to act this way?” The funny thing was, he sounded genuinely confused. The skepticism in his voice hurt my feelings but the mere fact it was stark made me forget quickly. He was an insensitive prick with a personal vendetta.

“Take this fool away before I turn him into a human pastry,” Andrei commented. I walked towards them, chuckling. “Ai grijă, violet aprins.” Take care, fiery violet. The elder said before we shut the door behind us. my heart swelled at his words. I knew I would long for those quiet evenings where it would rain and we would sit down in the living room with a book, quietly enjoying our presence. We laughed and made new and invented pastries in the kitchen for days, always looking for new and innovative flavors. I would miss the man that had treated me like his daughter.

“Take care, Pop.” I whispered to myself. Not thinking a long-haired blue-eyed soldier would hear.

And just like that, we disappeared quietly into the night and I said goodbye to one of the most important people in my life.

James let me know they came in the Quinjet, that enormous thing I had refused to sit on two years ago. the walk was not far from where we were and we found it in a while.

The Quinjet was hidden behind one of the buildings next to the bakery. the gigantic thing sleeping while we arrived to climb up. clint stood outside, his arms crossed. that man always looked like he was in a power pose.

“Romania? What is it with chased people and Romania?” Confusion and genuine interest were written all over his face.

Barton had always been a friend before I knew the truth. Nat told me she had told him in a drunken stupor. he tried to talk to her about telling me but she didn’t listen. I didn’t hold it against him because I knew he wasn’t actively participating but he didn’t do anything either.

I shrugged. “It’s a good hiding place. too many criminals organizations for you to matter. nobody cares who the hell you are as long as you keep quiet.”

“Good shadow place.” Bucky added as he tried to help me get in the Quinjet. I ignored his hand, focusing on Clint’s face.

“Exactly.” My response was clipped. if he was fishing for a normal conversation he was in for a treat.

After a while, we took off. My legs became restless as I sat in front of Stark and Bucky while Clint piloted the flying thing. boredom pushed me to get up from my seat and walk towards the front of the Quinjet. that, and Straks glare along with the awkwardness of Bucky’s movements.

Clint’s focused face came into view as I sat beside him. silence engulfed the both of us before he broke the silence with some words I didn’t expect.

“We missed you.” it was a quiet remark but full of shocking force. I just sat there, wide-eyed looking towards the already clearing sky. I looked towards him and forced myself to respond. a scoff came out of me, causing Clint to look rapidly towards me.

“You have no reason to believe me, but it’s the truth. Nat was pretty shaken up when you left. we looked for you everywhere and decided you didn’t want to be found. that you needed some time. it took you longer than we thought.”

“You didn’t find me because you didn’t look. You don’t have to lie to me, Barton.” I said, masking the hurt I felt with anger. why keep lying to me? I knew they didn’t care sop they didn’t need to act as they did.

“What? we did loo-” He never finished his sentence since Stark’s voice boomed around the small space. he came to let us know where would land soon as if we didn’t know already. Clint was the pilot, it was impossible for us to not know. suspicion arose in my chest but I soon forgot it when I saw the massive compound below us.

✹✹✹ I would be lying if I said my stomach wasn’t fluttering and my hands trembled slightly. I subtly rubbed my hands in my jeans, hoping to get some moisture away. But, there was something else bothering me. It had been there for a little while. The emptiness in my chest divided in two, as though… I don’t even know. The doors slid with a swift sound and my heart rate hit new floors.

I tried to avoid showing any emotion I felt. Seeing them surrounding the long table, all in their daily clothing made it hard to remember. I couldn’t show the happiness of seeing them all right after two years. Nor could I show the excitement deep in my bones seeing Wanda’s face. I couldn’t forget the damage (situation) those high-held beings made to my heart.

I looked at them with a mask of indifference firmly placed.

Wanda was the first to step forwards, as I knew she would. I didn’t expect her to but a part of me screamed how she had been the only real friend through the year I spent in this cage. I resisted the urge to hug her, touch her, and receive the reassurance I so deeply wanted.

“I thought- we thought you were dead.” The revelation shocked me. It felt as though they couldn’t believe I was alive. But I was. The question was… why did they think so?

“Nop. Still kicking.” I replied.

“Unfortunately.” I heard Stark mutter under his breath. I rolled my eyes and resisted the urge to kick him. I could make him feel a true kick in his brain. And his ass, too.

“Y/n!” A high-pitched voice came from the corner next to me. The smiley face of Pepper Potts came rushing towards me, engulfing me in a hug. My nerve endings shot and I prayed my instinctive responses wouldn’t go through. Fortunately for me, they didn’t. Before I could even think to hold her back—which I wouldn’t have done anyway— she stepped back. Smile intact and a gleam in her eyes capable of illuminating the whole room.

“Jesus. You’ve changed so much!” Her hands settled on my shoulder, holding softly and slightly shaking my shocked frame. “I missed you.” Her vice took a sweet edge and her head lolled to the side. Her eyes scrutinized me with the look of a mother who had just seen her child after a hard year abroad. I resisted the urge to shift uncomfortably out of her grasp. I wasn’t used to this.

“Honey, leave the feral alien alone.” Tony’s voice reached my ears. “We have important matters to discuss.”

“God, Tony. Give us a break. We haven’t seen the kid in two years.” Natasha’s ______ filled the room as I saw her taking steps towards me. I noticed there were no relaxed steps but tense and wary. Her eyes held a sort of apology mixed with caution.

I just stared. Deep inside I didn’t know how to react to someone I hadn’t seen in a long time, someone who betrayed me gets closer. Her body language told me she was sorry but still cautious of my reaction but I didn’t know if I should forgive her. Her right hand stretched towards my frame. I shifted uncomfortably in place, moving slightly away from her.

I saw her eyes roam my body, noticing the discomfort. She came to a halt three feet away from me. Her lips were pursed as she let her head drop for a second. She recovered quickly, extending her same hand towards me, this time to shake my hand.

“It’s good to have you back, Y/n.”

I took her hand in mine, shaking firmly. I nodded my head towards her. My lips pursed. The movement of Wanda’s body caught my eye. She stepped closer to me, her hands nervously trembling beside her big, red jumper.

“Can I hug you?” Hearing those words coming out of her froze the ongoing flow of blood through my veins. I was shocked, to say the least. I bet I looked like a gaping fish as an incomprehensible string of detached words escaped my lips. Everyone else seemed as surprised as I was. For completely different reasons I would bet. As Stark had said, they thought I was a free being.

She waited patiently, probably aware of the shock and ongoing battle I had inside me. She was the only one aware of my thoughts about showing anything besides contempt. And she knew why. But I sent it all to hell and for once, I did what I wanted to do. I nodded.

Her smile was worth enough as she moved quickly towards me, as though worried I would change my opinion. Her thin arms wrapped around my neck, my lack of height apparent as my 5’1 ass reached her shoulders. I resisted the urge to cry as I wrapped my arms around her back, relishing in a familiar face that didn’t hate my only existence.

“I missed you.” It was a whisper, only for me to hear. A small smile escaped my lips as hope blossomed in my chest. Hope that maybe I wasn’t a lost cause. Hope that maybe someday I could have a family.

“I did too, Red.” I murmured back. Careful to not raise my voice as I didn’t want anyone to know anything. I felt oddly vulnerable to be hugging someone let alone hugging someone in front of seven people. I noticed Vision staring and I gave him a subtle nod, a small smile creeping upon my lips. He nodded back with that usual blank expression not in compass with the feelings he harbored. After some time, I let her go before Stark had another remark to make.

I noticed Steve leaning against a far-away table, maybe ten feet away from where I was. His head lowered, eyes on the ground. His arms surrounded his build, hugging himself with a heavy frown on his face. He didn’t want to look towards me and I thought I knew why. He was ashamed of what he did. He was guilty anyway you looked at it. He was guided by Bucky to do everything. He followed the man despite knowing it was wrong. Not because your friend tells you to throw yourself out the window means you’ll do it. He knew full well what was wrong and right. He knew Barnes' proposal was as low as a man could get.

If he didn’t apologize and acknowledge what he did, he was dead to me. I mean, he had tried to apologize that day, but I was devastated and no words came through my anger.

There were a few handshakes and subtle nods here and there before I noticed a presence missing. I looked around for the usual big man with an overinflated sense of heroism but didn’t find him. He was big enough for anyone to spot him. I felt a pang in my chest and a tingle at the back of my head and I knew something was wrong. The air shifted and my hands started trembling slightly.

“Where’s my brother?” I asked, my voice slightly shaky. I tried to compose myself, knowing he had to be alright or I would’ve felt something.

“We don’t know. We couldn’t get a hold of him.” Natasha replied. I noticed the subtle worry etched in her face lines.

Suddenly, I understood that emptiness inside me. That swirling emotion unlatched to an earthy body. One of the connectors inside of me, besides bucky’s, was empty. It didn’t have any energy to connect to.

No.

No.

No.

I didn’t realize I began hyperventilating while the word repeated itself over and over in my head. My chest rose and fell quickly while the air got caught in my throat. My hand shot out to grasp anything in reach I could hold myself up with.

“Y/n?! What’s wrong?” Wanda was the first to step forward and grab my elbow. Her soft touch didn't completely register in my sensory sense. The only thing in my mind was the heavy colorless fog swirling around in my insides.

The worst part was, I didn’t know which of my brothers it belonged to. I thought about them and how long it had been since I had seen them. Since I had been with them.

“Can you all excuse me?” I pulled myself together and without waiting for a response, I hurried across the room. I thought about the me that they just saw but somewhere deep down, I didn’t care.

I hurried, passing Steve's body. This time, he looked intently at me. I didn’t expect him to stand up and grab my shoulders. By this point, my vision was blurry and I tried hard to reconnect with the missing life essence.

“Y/n, I-”

“Can we do this later, Rogers?” I spat, cutting him off before getting my elbow out of his grasp. I left, shuddering and feeling a wave of anger rising in my chest.

What a good way to make a comeback.

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[nakachuchu]

Love Language | Itadori Yuuji

SYNOPSIS: You like paying for things.

READER: female

WORDS: 1563

WRITTEN: 03/09/2021

"I never went to your middle school!" Yuuji shouted as he ran across the rooftops of Jujutsu Tech.

"Brother!" Todo shouted.

Yuuji grabbed the gutter and flipped into an open window, glancing up at Todo's approaching figure before slamming into something.

"Oof—"

The air was knocked from your chest and your back slammed against the floor. Yuuji held himself up by his hands, which were on both sides of your head.

"Senpai!" he exclaimed.

You chuckled. "You're in a rush."

"Sorry!"

He quickly got off you and got on his knees, placing his head against the floor in a bow. You laughed and got up from the floor, brushing the dust off your skirt.

"Something wrong?" you asked.

"Ah—"

"Brother!"

"Gah—"

Yuuji quickly got up as Todo flipped into the room, landing on his feet in front of you.

"Hey, Todo," you greeted.

Todo's previous rampant behavior died down as he saw you. He stood up straight and cleared his throat.

"Y/N, you're as beautiful as ever."

You snorted. "Thank you. Why are you chasing my kouhai?"

Yuuji slowly scooted toward you and hid behind you, even though he was much taller than you.

"He's my brother," said Todo.

"Are you two playing tag?" you asked.

"Precisely!" he exclaimed.

"Can I play?" you asked.

"Of course," said Todo.

"I'm assuming you're 'it,' so that means Yuuji and I are the ones who have to run, right? So—"

You grabbed Yuuji's hand and ran toward the door, flinging it open before running down the hallway.

You laughed out loud as you dragged Yuuji around campus in hopes of evading Todo. Yuuji seemed to be enjoying himself as well, laughing along with you and even occasionally picking you up bridal style to hop over an obstacle.

"I think," you panted, "we're safe."

He nodded and sat down on the ground, leaning against a tree. You sat next to him and let out a breath.

"So, how did you end up being Todo's brother?" you asked.

"I don't... It was in the moment, I swear."

You laughed. "A lot of things are in the moment for you, huh? I mean, that's how you became Sukuna's vessel."

He scratched his cheek awkwardly. "I guess it's a bad habit."

"Don't apologize. It's just who you are," you said as you took out your phone. "Oh. Gojo's calling us over. Come on, Yuuji."

You stood up and held your hand out to him. He grabbed it and let you help him onto his feet. He expected you to let go, so he was pleasantly surprised when you started walking, holding his hand and swinging your arm around.

The two of you rendezvoused with the other students and Gojo to pick the day two activity. Baseball was picked and you were surprised since you only ever participated in one versus one battles in the exchange event.

Yuuji was surprised as well since this was his first year at Jujutsu Tech, but he was mainly surprised at how good you looked in a baseball uniform.

No wonder Todo was interested in you. The pants did wonders for your ass. Yuuji swore he could see it bouncing as you ran. His eyes bulged a bit when you leaned down and slid, foot touching the home plate as your ass smacked against the dirt.

He wasn't even surprised that Todo immediately got up when you walked over to check on him after Maki hit him in the face.

You took your cap off and fanned yourself. Sweat dripped down your neck as your ponytail came loose, strands sticking to the base of your neck.

Yuuji couldn't help but stare.

"At least we won this year," you muttered. "I got my ass handed to me last year because of Noritoshi."

"You did great last year," Maki reassured.

"Salmon."

"What they said," said Panda.

You laughed. "Thanks. I'll see you guys later. I need a shower."

You placed your cap on top of Yuuji's head, pulling it down before walking away. He raised his head and readjusted the cap as he stared at your back.

"Hmm. Do you like Y/N?" Panda asked. "No chance. She's too pretty."

"Agreed," said Nobara.

"I second that," said Maki.

"Salmon."

"You guys are horrible," Yuuji retorted.

You weren't any different from the other students at Jujutsu Tech. You could use cursed energy, so you enrolled. You wore the same uniform as everyone else and participated in the same things as them.

But yes, he was interested in you. You fit his type, for one, but you were easily outgoing and not afraid to speak out.

He had only known you since the exchange event started, but you left an impression on him.

The next day, you texted Yuuji and asked him to go out with you. That was all you said, and he wasn't sure if you meant on a date or go out, as in leave campus.

"Hey, thanks for coming," you said as you held out your hand.

He looked around before slowly placing his hand in your hand. You smiled and turned around to begin walking.

He noticed you liked to take charge, but he didn't mind—especially when he didn't know what your plans for today were.

"Senpai, where are we going?" he asked.

You glanced over your shoulder. "You can just call me by my first name. We're going out, remember?"

"But what are we doing?"

"Getting lunch. Aren't you hungry?" you asked.

"I didn't bring my wallet."

"That's okay," you reassured. "I'm rich."

Throughout the day, you paid for everything. It was supposed to be a simple lunch, but it turned into a small shopping spree. You bought him some new clothes and the two of you ate a lot. Yuuji seemed to have a black hole as a stomach, but you didn't mind.

Once you were finished, the two of you walked back to Jujutsu Tech, hand in hand.

"I'll see you later, Yuuji," you said. "Take care not to die, all right?"

He nodded. "Thanks, Y/N."

You smiled and waved goodbye as you walked away. He stared after you for a while before turning around. He was carrying loads of shopping bags, which were all his.

"Where have you been, idiot?" Nobara asked, smacking Yuuji on the head.

He pouted. "Y/N took me out. I don't know why."

"Y/N does that," said Megumi. "She likes to spoil other people. She did that with me when I first came to Jujutsu Tech. She went out with Nobara when you were supposedly dead, too."

Nobara sighed wistfully. "She bought me a lot of brand names. I'd marry her if she was into girls."

Yuuji and Megumi blinked. "Wait—"

"Come on, let's go already!" Nobara shouted, already walking away from them.

Since then, you would always take Yuuji out. The others said you'd always pay for their things when they went out together in groups, but you never invited them out alone to go out more than once.

Yuuji was a special case and he was confused as to why. He found himself lying awake in the middle of the night, thinking about you.

Whenever it was really late and his thoughts got the best of him, he'd find his briefs pulled down to his knees while he fisted his cock, imagining your hand around it.

He was completely whipped for you, and you didn't even know it.

"I'm going to do it," said Yuuji, hyping himself up.

"You're really going to ask her out?" asked Nobara. "Usually I'd make fun of you, but it actually seems like Y/N likes you too. The world must be ending."

"You just made fun of him," said Megumi.

"There she is!" Yuuji exclaimed, leavings his friends and jogging over to you. "Hi, Y/N."

You smiled. "Hi, Yuuji. Where are we going today?"

He stuck out his hand. "Everywhere."

You placed your hand into his and he pulled you forward. Now, you were the one following Yuuji as he took you out for lunch, dessert, and a bit of shopping.

He paid for everything as well, always beating you to the punch. You stopped by a cellphone accessory stand and the two of you picked out matching keychains.

The two of you created chaos everywhere you went. Yuuji dropped every food item he was eating and would choke on his food when you made him laugh too much.

"I had a lot of time today," you said. "You didn't have to pay for everything."

"I wanted to," he said. "Listen, Y/N."

"Hmm?"

He squeezed your hand and stopped walking, grabbing both of your hands to hold them in his.

You looked up at him curiously.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" he asked.

You smiled. "Yeah!"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I was wondering how long it would take for you to ask me out. I like you too," you said.

"Really?"

Yuuji couldn't believe you liked him too. It was really bad timing, but all he could think about was dating you and what the two of you could get up to.

You glanced down. "You okay, Yuuji?"

He quickly released your hands and turned around. "Um—Yes. I'm okay. I—What should we do now?"

You laughed and wrapped your hands around his arm, pressing it to your chest. "Let's hang out in your room."

[httpswwwtbhkcom]

"You got sick...”

[Oneshot/Imagine]

Pairing: Nagito Komaeda x Reader

[@httpswwwtbhkcom’s masterlist]

Summary: Komaeda finally got better the next morning and thought on going to school to retrieve your phone back to you. To his dismay, you were absent. He visited to your house with guilt that he had accidentally spread the fever to you and offered to take care of you in return.

Warning: Grammar errors, swearing,

Genre: Fluff,

Keys:

Y/n- your name, L/n- last name,

A/n: This will be the last part of “Komaeda? He’s sick today.”.

Reader: Neutral

Click here to see the other part(s) - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 (Here)

Made by: ??? (Please tell me who made this art so I could credit them!)

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

With Komaeda:

Komaeda woke up a bit drained. Different, yet tired. He felt as if he was feeling more better than yesterday. He sat up and stretched, letting out a small groan at his slightly sore back.

He heard a knock, stopping him from doing anything for a second. “Come in.” The person slowly opened the door and greeted him. “Good morning, Master. Are you feeling better?” The maid asked as she checked Komaeda’s temperature. “I’m feeling better. Does that mean I could go to school again?”

“Your temperature has dropped back to it’s usual. You can go later if you’d like. Though school had started minutes ago.”

“Ah it’s fine. I’ll go later.” Komaeda smiled. ”Alright. I’ll inform your teacher later... Oh my, I almost forgot. Your food is almost ready.” The maid bowed then left. Komaeda stood up and went to his desk where your phone was located. He grabbed it and inspected the phone.

Internally, Komaeda was debating if he should look in for a bit or not. He respected your boundaries and placed the phone back.

Komaeda took a quick shower then changed into his school uniform. He walked into the dining room with his bag (and your phone) and sat on a fancy chair. As he waited for his breakfast, he kept glancing at your phone. His thoughts were cut off as a butler placed his breakfast in front of him.

Komaeda gave him a smile then ate his food.

After eating, he took his bag and walked his way to school. He went inside with minor problems but still kept his happy demeanor with him. He walked into his classroom and was met with his teacher discussing a new topic.

“Ah Komaeda! Glad to see you again. I was informed that you were coming late today. How are you?” Chisa Yukizome, you and Komaeda’s instructor, asked. “Good morning, I’m doing good today.” He answered. He heard some groans from some of his classmates but brushed it off.

He looked around the classroom but he noticed that you weren’t present. “Say, is Y/n here? I need to give them something...” Komaeda added, lightly blushing. Yukizome shook her head ‘no’. “L/n’s absent today.. I didn’t get any message or call about them either. I hope they’re alright.”

Komaeda nodded then sat on his usual seat, slumping. He knew why you were absent today. ‘I got Y/n sick.. It’s my fault. I told them to avoid me until I got better..’ He sighed. Komaeda then spaced out in the middle of lecture.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Your POV:

You woke up at 10:45AM. You groggily sat up and glanced at the time. You panicked that you woke up late but you didn’t have the energy to move. You sneezed and felt a bit dizzy.

“I’m sick aren’t I?” You said to no one.

“Damnit.” You muttered after a few seconds then coughed.

You lied down on your bed and slowly drifted off to sleep.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Time skip...

With Komaeda:

After the lesson it was finally lunch. Komaeda walked to his instructor and looked down, not meeting her eyes. Yukizome noticed his odd behavior and was concerned. “Komaeda, Are you alright? What’s wrong?” She asked.

“I know why Y/n’s absent today.” He muttered, but was loud enough for her to hear. “Really? Can you tell me why?”

“Well.. For the past 2 days, they were visiting me after school while I was sick. I think I passed my fever to them... It’s my fault.” He chuckled dryly.

Yukizome placed a hand on his shoulder and reassured him “I’m sure it’s not your fault. L/n might’ve gotten it randomly. It happens sometimes.” Komaeda slowly nodded. “If you want, you can visit them after school. I’m sure they won’t mind.” She suggested.

Komaeda perked up and nodded. “Thank you, sensei!” He walked back to his seat, a small smile stitched on his face.

Mahiru came to his desk with a concerned frown on her face. “Do you know why Y/n’s absent today? I know your the last person they talked to since they told me that they were going to visit you..” She asked, her hand on his desk, demanding answers.

Komaeda gave her a small smile. “About that..” His smile slowly faltered. “I might or might not accidentally passed my fever to them..”

“I knew it.” Mahiru shook her head, clearly disappointed. “Huh?”

“Yesterday, I told Y/n to stay away from you until your alright. But Y/n didn’t listen.” Mahiru explained to the lucky student. He let out a small ‘Oh.’. “Once they get better, you better make it up to Y/n.” She told him.

“Of course.” Komaeda nodded without hesitation.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Komaeda walked to your home after school. But he made sure to buy you some snacks before he was in your house.

He rang the doorbell until he saw the door slightly cracked open. Komaeda’s eyes widened before quickly running towards your room. He sighed in relief when he saw you lying on your bed. He looked around your room to see it was a mess.

Your eyes fluttered open when you heard a footsteps. “H-huh? Nagito?” You mumbled, staring at him wide-awake. “Y/n! I’m so sorry!” He exclaimed, tackling you to a hug.

You were now fully awake, slowly processing everything that happened. Once everything was fully-processed, you pushed him off you to his dismay. “Nagito! Don’t. You’ll get sick again! You look better already. Are you asking to get sick again?” You scolded him.

“Ah... Sorry.”

“Wait a minute.” You paused, realizing something. “How did you get in my room?! I’m sure I-”

“You didn’t lock your door Y/n.” He said, frowning. “Oh.”

“Your lucky no one was here and did anything bad to you. It’s my fault..” His voice was slowly faltering as he continue to talk. “It’s not your fault, I wasn’t being c-”

“But you got sick, Y/n.”

“Well.. True, but It’s alright. It’s my fault too.” You said trying to reassure him. “You know.” You said, making him perk up slightly. “You could repay me y’know? Like.. Taking care of me while I’m sick like when you got sick. But don’t get too close.”

He slowly nodded. Then perked up immediately, making you flinch in surprise. Komaeda apologized and gave you two things. A snack he bought you, and your phone. “My phone!” You exclaimed. “I knew I had forgotten it at your house! Thank you Nagito!”

“You’re welcome Y/n. Be right back, I’m going to close the door so no one could get in alright?”

You nodded, opening the bag and taking a handful and shoving it in your mouth. You watched him leave the room and continued eating. Soon after, you were thirsty, you were going to stand up and get a glass of water until you remembered that you left a glass of water and a snack for you to eat this morning.

You took the glass from the desk and began drinking from it.

Komaeda came back soon after and sat on her chair. “I’m really sorry for infecting you, so I thought that I could give you the extra notes I made for you.”

You awkwardly took the papers, not sure what to do, yet thankful for the boy. “Oh! Uhm, Thank you Nagito! That was... Unexpected.” You coughed. Komaeda patted your back.

“Do you have medicines lying around for your fever? If not, then I could buy you some. Least I could do.”

"I think I have some in one of the cabinets in the kitchen, can you please get it?”

He nodded then left you alone again. You felt bad that you had to tell him what to do in your home. You wanted to at least to something fun that you both liked.

Komaeda was back a few minutes later. “Sorry, I didn’t know which cabinet you kept your medicines. I found the perfect medicine for you. Here.” He handed it out to you. “This should do the trick.”

You immediately chugged the medicine and drank the remaining water you had. “Thanks.” You choked. “Wanna do something we both could enjoy? I don’t want to bore you with only taking care of me.”

“Don’t worry” He chuckled, feeling confident, but his face was tinted pink. “You being near me isn’t boring, My Ultimate Hope.”

[rebeccccccaaa]

𝒻𝒶𝓁𝓁𝑒𝓃 𝒶𝓃𝑔𝑒𝓁

__________________________________

sᴛᴇᴠᴇ ʀᴏɢᴇʀs x ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ

𝓈𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎: You’re a hydra experiment gone wrong. Not to mention Steve Rogers hates you; and you have no idea why.

𝓌𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: angst, substance abuse, alcohol consumption, enemies to lovers kingda but not really, smut 18+  (slight praise?, a bit of pet names? protected sex ;), riding, cockwarming, choking)

𝒶/𝓃: might do a part 2 blurb, but i’mbeginning to run out of ideas so send some requests! also thanks for 100 followers!! :,)

𝓌𝑜𝓇𝒹 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉: 3.3k

___________________________________

You sat by the window of your  room with a cup of coffee as always wishing life would be different; but also not. You were grateful for your life you’re able to have now; being with the Avengers, learning how to control the powers you now possess. Grateful to have a home again.

Years ago you were out with your friends for the fifth time that week, getting drunk and high off of anything you could get your hands on. Your fiance broke off your engagement for his secretary; typical. You got fired from your job the week prior. You were days away from being evicted from your  apartment. You had no family; your life was falling apart. 

You were also the perfect target. Stumbling out of the club black out drunk and high as shit you were taken into the darkness never to be seen again. You woke up surrounded by darkness freezing, shivering from the cold. You had no idea where you were, what day it was, who was staring at you from the shadows.

“Welcome home,” the voice taunted you.

You spent years in that cell. They wanted you to possess dark magic. And you did, oh did possess alright. You remember that night like it was yesterday; that night haunted your dreams every night. 

You would sit in your cell, moving the toy blocks they left for you to use. You mostly practiced your magic with them considering no one taught you how to use them, they only wrote shit down whenever you saw them. No one ever spoke to you and whatever voices you did hear were whispers in languages you couldn’t understand.

Earlier that day so long ago, a ‘doctor’ injected you with this thick disgusting black liquid. They had been at  your door all day waiting for something to happen. But they got what they were looking for; experimenting on you for. 

Your back burned and ached as if  there were nails clawing at your skin. You screamed in agony, begging someone to help you, to take the pain away. You could see your once blue veins that ran through your body turn black.  Your skin ripped on your back, bruises forming, black feathers growing out your body.

Once they were entirely out of your body they applauded. They actually praised the ‘doctor’ who made you into this, this creature. They left you to deal with the pain. You shook in fear and agony. You had wings. Fucking black wings. 

They called you the Fallen Angel. You possessed the powers of Lucifer himself. You didn’t fully know it however.

Months later the avengers infiltrated the base. Natasha found you; you were severely dehydrated and malnourished. But you recovered quickly and here you were staying with the avengers fighting alongside them taking down bad guys and shit. 

There was a light knock on your door taking you out of your horrid memories. 

“Hey, babe,” Natasha opened your door and peeked her head around.

“Hey, Nat,” you replied.

“How are the wings?”

Since you’ve been with the avengers you’ve become happier with your life again and your wings started getting light in color, they’re still not white however and you don’t know why.

“Still gray,” you chuckled.

“That’s so weird. You haven’t done anything and that goop that was in your system is filtered out. What’s making them gray?”

“I have no idea. Anyway are we even sure they're supposed to turn white? I mean I’m no angel; I had a shit life before all of this happened. Maybe it’s just baggage.”

“But it makes sense, you know,” she defended.

“Not everything makes sense.”

“You hungry? Sam was thinking chinese takeout, Tony said shawarma and you’re the tie breaker.”

“Awe man, you guys suck. What do you want?”

“Shawarma,” she whispered.

“Ok. shawarma,” you agreed.

She grabbed your hand and led you to the living where everyone waited for the tie breaker. Your wings were so big and they dragged behind you every time you walked, ran, anything. It was hard sometimes, they were heavy too but you got used to it.

“She said shawarma!” Nat shouted.

Half the crowded cheer and the other half whined. Delivery came fast thankfully and everyone gathered on the couch, Tony putting a movie on while you guys ate. You sat with Bucky and Nat; usually Steve sits with Bucky but Sam was also on the couch next to Buck. 

Steve came up to you making your stomach drop; he was so handsome but here’s the thing, he hated you. Since you came to the tower, he always said they shouldn’t have brought you. That you were too dangerous and you could hurt someone; that hurt you. 

You spent so long hating yourself for what you became but with the avengers help, excluding Steve, you’ve been able to learn to start loving yourself and appreciate how you can use your powers for good and saving people. But every time your name came out of Steve’s mouth, it was degrading and you hated yourself a little more each time. 

And you don’t know why.

“Move.”

“I’m sorry?” you questioned, taken aback.

“I said move,” he said sternly.

“Steve, she was here first. Don’t be a baby. Go sit down somewhere else,” Nat said.

Steve stared at you making you look away in discomfort. He sat in the loveseat alone glaring at you like you had killed his mother or something. The movie continued however and people kept eating. Steve was still grumpy glaring at you whenever you laughed at a scene or said something out loud or literally did anything.

“Rogers, L/n. Briefing, now,” you snapped your head to the voice who was Nick Fury.

“You two doing anything?”he asked when you three were alone.

“We were-”

“Good,” he interrupted.

“I have a mission for you two. We’ve been getting hyperactivity on our radar at these coordinates for the past week now. We do have reason to believe it may be another hydra base trying to regroup maybe, get the band back together type of shit.”

“And you need us why? The rest of the team is in the living room,” Steve asked him.

“You two know hydra best and it’s too soon to put Bucky on a mission that involves Hydra. I’d like you two to complete this with no casualties. We have authorities ready to arrest them, they're just waiting for you,” Nick gave you both a file. 

“I want you both on the plane in 5. And please for fuck’s sake, try not to yell at each other. Y/n, Steve is your captain just do what he says,” He walked out of the room and you rolled your eyes. Whenever you guys go on a mission together he always has you stand back and even stay on the plane with Bruce sometimes. You more than once rejected his instructions; now thinking about it might be the reason he hates you… 

“Try not to kill yourself this time,” Steve said before leaving to suit up. 

The mission was going well and all fell into place. Until while the bastards were under arrest getting ready to be transported, one of the Hydra agents recognized you. He mocked you and laughed at you. Taunted you and brought memories of your time with them back to your mind. 

Tears formed in your eyes, you were so angry. You used your powers, developed from the darkness and began slowly killing him. He turned red and choked gasping for air. Steve watched you begin to get angry, feeling empathy for you. But when he saw you snap, he knew he couldn't trust that you’d cause trouble. 

“Y/n, stop,” he said. But you didn’t stop; you wanted the bastard dead.

“Y/n!” you ignored him.

Your brain drowning all sounds except your breathing and his lack of. Steve grabbed your arms and dragged you, you bursted into tears, memories and trauma flooding back. Steve was pissed that you couldn’t go a single mission without doing something you weren’t supposed to. But he also knew that what you had gone through was torture and he felt sorry for you.

He somewhat knows about the torture that Hydra has inflcited in the past. Bucky talked about it with him and sometimes still has nightmares about it. His behavior probably doesn’t make you feel better. He didn’t mean it to get this far.

When Nat brought you on the plane, he was hesitant. But he knew if they left you there you would die in no time. After you rested, ate, and cleaned up, he was mesmerized. You were very beautiful but Steve felt like because of Peggy he shouldn’t love another person. Like she would be mad if he moved on. 

So, he avoided you at first. Absence turned to frustration when you wouldn’t leave him alone like he had thought. Frustration led to insults and now you think he hates you with everything in his body. But he couldn’t feel further from hate for you. 

Sure, he got frustrated when you didn’t listen to him on missions; primarily because you thought he was being a dick on purpose to antagonize you. But when you came home, safely, and laughed with everyone about Bucky tripping and falling on his face, he fell in love a little bit more with you and your laugh. You looked so happy; without him.

But Steve can’t let it happen, so now he stomped away from you pretending to be upset over something so stupid. 

“Where are you going?” you yelled at him.

“I really don’t need your shit right now, Y/n,” he snapped.

“No, you’re gonna deal with it. It’s been more than a year, Steve! Grow up and talk to me like a real man! Why do you hate me so much?”

“Enough!” he boomed, scaring you.

“Leave me alone,” he said lowly, having more impact than if he were to yell.

“Please,” you cried, “Talk to me. What did I do?”

“You want to know the truth? You’re too powerful. You’re already reckless and if you knew the capacity of your abilities you'd become more reckless. If you’re more reckless you’ll die; and if  you die, that's on me. I can’t let that happen,” there was sincerity in his voice for once; the truth but not the one he wanted to really admit.

“That doesn’t explain why you hate me.”

“God I don’t fucking hate you!”

“Then tell me the truth!” you yelled back.

“I hate myself. I hate myself for feeling the way I do. It's not  fair to her.”

“Not fair to who?” 

“To Peggy.”

“I thought Peggy passed away.”

“She did,” he went into his room and sat on his bed head in his hands.

“I’m confused.”

“I can’t help what I feel for you; and that’s not fair to Peggy. I feel like I should still be in love with her but I’m not.”

You stood by the closed door listening to him. 

“You like me?”

“No, I think I fell in love with you. I thought I could stop by avoiding you but your so fuckin stubborn. You were determined to be my friend; and I don’t want to just be your friend. So I said a couple of mean things and it went too far. I never meant for you to hate me or for you to think I hated you. I was just stupid.”

“Yeah, it was little stupid,” he chuckled at what you said.

You walked towards him and stepped between his legs. He grabbed a hold of your hips and buried his face in your stomach. You held his head brushing your fingers through his hair softly. He looked up at you with soft eyes filled with regret and sorrow. You could tell he was frustrated.

“Is it wrong? To love you?” he whispered.

“No, Peggy wouldn’t want you to spend the rest of your life moping when  you could choose to be happy, like she did. She would want you to move on, live life. And that doesn't mean with me. I mean in general. Does that make sense?”

He nodded sincerely.

He slid his hands to the back of your thighs and sat on his lap. You gasped and your wings fluttered behind you, expanding with excitement. Steve chuckled at that and you buried your face in  his neck feeling embarrassed. He cupped his hand on your face and naturally  you leaned into his hand looking into his blue eyes. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

You simply nodded before leaning up to him to connect your lips with his. Your wings once again expanded; lightly ruffling against each other. You pulled away and attached your lips to his neck peppering light kisses all around. 

You connected your lips once again and it was Steve’s turn to attack your neck with pecks. You’ve alway worn shirts that were either very low in the back or cut to make room for your wings. Either way Steve slowly pulled your shirt over your shoulder trailing kisses along your chest and collarbone. 

“I really care about you, Y/n. Please let me show you.”

You hesitated only because it’s been so long since you had been intimate with someone.

“We don’t have to-” he started.

“No, I do. I really do; it’s just been a while, you know? Being held hostage and all,” you joked.

“I understand. We still don’t have to.”

“Steve,” you whispered in his ear.

“I want you. I want you to fuck me.”

You heard him growl lowly before he stood up with you and almost laid you on your back.

“Steve, I can’t lay on my back!” you laughed.

“Oh that’s right! I’m so sorry,” you both laughed for a second.

He set you down on your feet and stripped his shirt. Your eyes shot straight to his chest, your hands reaching out to touch his chest.  He smirked at you before taking his pants off leaving him in boxers; for now. He reached for your pants as well eyeing you to make sure he wasn’t moving to fast but after a smile and a nod he slowly pulled your own pants to join his discarded on the floor.  

He kissed your thighs that were slightly scarred from your time with hydra. He stood up and you pulled your shirt down off your shoulders letting it fall to the floor. Steve’s eyes watched your breasts. His hands reached for them as you did to his chest when he took his shirt off. 

You pulled in for another kiss until Steve had enough.

“I need to be inside you, baby girl,” he pulled his boxer down, taking your panties off after. He grabbed your hand sitting on the bed. His back leaned against the headboard and you crawled into his lap, your knees falling to either side of his hips. His hands rubbed up and down your thighs and hips.

He reached for a condom and handed it to you winking and smirking. You tore the foil with your teeth keeping direct eye contact with him, Steve getting harder and harder every second passing. Your took his cock in your hands, bigger than you thought it would be, and rolled the condom on squeezing a bit making his hips jerk up into your hand.

“Knock it off, pretty girl.”

You leaned forward and lined your entrance with his cock moving your hips around a bit teasing him before you actually sink down. Steve was so impatient though, he gripped your hips and thrusted quickly into you making you gasp loudly and moan not long after.

You moved quickly, breasts bouncing with each thrust. Steve groaned under you, fingers digging into your hips. 

“My angel. You feel so fucking good,” he grunted.

You simply whined and moaned, feeling euphoric being around Steve. Your wings moved along with you guys gracefully expanding further as you got closer to your oragsm. Steve’s hand moved up your body to wrap around your throat, his thrust getting more sporadic. He squeezed gently making your eyes roll back; your wings getting bigger.

“Your fucking perfect, angel. You gonna cum soon? You gonna cum around my cock?”

“Yes, Stevie. Oh god!” you moaned. 

Your moans got louder, echoing in the room. Skin slapping against each other mixing with the lude sounds of you both where you were connected. Steve released his hold on your neck and grabbed your waist moving wildly in and out of you. 

Your pussy pulsed around Steve’s cocked. When the pressure building in the pit your stomach finally bursted your wings fully expanded and your back arched. You felt Steve’s dick throbbing until it went soft inside you. You collapsed on his chest trying to catch your breath again. 

Steve moved you for a minute taking his cock out of you; discarding the condom in a trash bin. He grabbed a towel and iped you clean first then cleaning himself. He crawled into bed with you and you moved your knee over his hips as before making him laugh. 

“What’s wrong, angel?” you liked that name he gave you.

“Can you…?” you mumbled into his chest.

“What was that?”

“Can you put it back in?” you asked louder.

“My cock?” you nodded shyly.

“Anything for you, angel.”

You laid on his chest with his cock settled inside you and you dozed off. Steve lightly scratched your back after turning his bedside light off. Before he fell asleep he saw a soft glow of wings turning white. He questioned it but ultimately fell asleep. He’d ask you about it tomorrow morning.

================

You woke up with your head on Steve’s chest, naked limbs tangled with the sheets. Steve was on his phone, his hand scratching your head gently. 

“Good morning.”

“Morning, bug.”

“Sorry to keep you in bed,” you said sitting up; you pulled the sheet with you to cover your chest.

“Don’t be sorry, angel.”

“I’m really hungry.”

“Want to grab breakfast downstairs? We’ll come back up afterwards. We can cuddle some more,” Steve kissed you with a smile.

You stood up grabbing your shirt from last night and Steve handed you a pair of cledan boxers to wear. He dressed himself before walking with you downstairs to the kitchen. 

You walked into the kitchen first everyone’s eyes wide. You thought at first maybe it was because they might have heard you and Steve last night but Nat spoke up before you could ask.

“Your wings! Their white!”

“What?” you asked shocked. You opened your wings so you could see them in front of you to see that they were in fact white. 

“How did that happen?” Nat came up to you.

“They weren’t white last night.”

“They changed after you fell asleep, angel,” Steve spoke up; everyone’s heads snapping toward him, confused.

“They did?” you asked, he nodded and smiled coming up to you grabbing your hand.

“What the fuck?” Tony said.

“What the hell happened? I thought you guys hated each other?” Bucky asked.

“It’s a little complicated,” you said. 

“Ok but that doesn’t really explain why they’re white now,” Nat spoke up.

“I think it’s because I wasn’t truly happy and fully free of my past until yesterday. I was able to move on and now being with Steve now makes me happy.”

“Really?” Sam joked.

“Yes, really,” you laughed.

“This is gonna take some getting used to,” Tony said. 

“Did you guys…?” Nat asked suggestively.

Your eyes grew wide and you got hot. Steve only laughed which was enough of an answer for everyone. 

“As long as you’re both happy,” Bucky said.

“We are,” you looked up at Steve, wrapping your wings yourselves and shielding a heated kiss with Steve. 

[ialwaysgobacktoit]

Azriel surprises Gwyn for her birthday PART 5

Guys what have i done???? I'm so addicted to writing their story this part was like 5 pages long lol. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT and I thank you soooo much, your comments both on AO3 and here are really inspiring me to keep on going.

Also I created a Chapter List to organize the parts better from now on. You can check it out right here!

Also thanking my following supporters @katiebellf @madie2200 @starbornsinger THANK YOU SO MUCH GIRLS. I swear you get me so hyped to keep on writing this <3

Part 5.

Azriel couldn’t stop thinking about Gwyn. He tried not to remember her lips brushing against his skin, the way she spoke against his chest, the light pressure of her body in his arms. But somehow in a few hours since he surprised her it was proving harder and harder for him to focus on anything happening around him. And he was the Shadowsinger, for Mother’s sake. He needed to stay alert for a living.

“Az” Cassian called him from across the table. “Are you listening to me at all?”

The two of them were at their most visited tavern, waiting for Rhys to arrive. Azriel stared at his beer in front of him, already half-drank, and shook his head. Cassian snorted.

“I asked if everything went alright” Seeing how he still seemed a little aloof, his brother continued “Today. With Gwyn’s birthday present.”

Before he could answer, Rhys appeared right by their side. Greeting both of them, he sat by the table and joined in.

“What are we talking about?”

“I’m trying to get to Azriel about his birthday gift for Gwyn today.” Cassian smirked through his glass “But it appears he’s not very talkative, as usual.”

“Ah, it was today? I wasn’t aware.” Rhys asked with furrowed brows.

“Not many people knew” Azriel justified.

“And you did?”

“I remembered.” It was all he could manage to say.

Both of their brothers exchanged glances, as if talking internally. Azriel didn’t interrupt them, although he knew what they might be saying, because suddenly his interest fell upon someone across the room. Someone whose back was to him, ordering from the bar, her long copper hair falling loose behind her. His heart jumped a beat, even though he knew it was impossible for Gwyn to be there. She was enjoying the Valkyrie’s companies, after all.

Rhys followed his gaze to the spot across the bar, and chuckled quietly. It was enough for Azriel to blink and turn to his brothers. But in his mind, he found himself growing impatient to see her. He could picture her perfectly right now, sitting comfortably in the couch, probably in the House’s library, laughing and joking with Nesta and Emerie. She’d be flushed, from the heat of her drink or the subject of their conversation, and her beautiful, copper hair would be tied in a loose braid: just like he’d seen her last, but with a more comfortable outfit than her leathers. A part of him wished he were there with her. A part of him wished they’d never parted from that embrace. Because if she had just waited… Azriel didn’t know what he could’ve done next.

“Brother.” Rhys was smiling now, and Cassian was trying not to laugh. “How did it go?”

“Well.” Azriel forced himself to come back to the present. “She really liked it.”

“And?” Both of their brows were raised high right now, the portrait of amusement.

“And it was all. She thanked me, and that was it.”

“But she liked it? A lot?”

And damn him if Azriel couldn’t contain his smile now, as he remembered her face lighting up, her smile, her laugh, her hug, her kiss… Everything. He noticed something different in her posture during dinner, and when he winnowed back from leaving Diane, Gwyn’s eyes seemed to be shining from emotion. He was so tense waiting for her reaction that when she hugged him he was completely taken aback. But it felt right, every second of their embrace. Breathing in her scent, feeling her back against his hands… It just felt right.

“She did. A lot.”

He joined in a silent laugh as Cassian and Rhys smiled broadly, and the latter tapped his shoulder. We’re happy to see you like this, brother, they seemed to say, or it was his shadows whispering to him. Either way, he didn’t care. He was happy too.

*****

“I want to get out more.”

Gwyn blurted out just as soon as she, Nesta and Emerie arrived at their spots in the training ring the following morning. The three of them were late due to their birthday girl’s night, but neither Azriel nor Cassian did mention it. After his night with his brothers and current hangover, they weren’t the ones to say anything.

“What do you mean more?” Nesta asked as they both stretched their legs on the floor.

“I mean out of the library. I should have done this a long time ago, but now I think is time to release myself from Merril’s claws. It helped me a lot, I’m grateful for it, but enough is enough” She rushed the words, as if she just had to spit out everything she was feeling at once.

Azriel tried his best not to turn around and join their conversation, only because he wouldn’t like to pry.

“I think that’s great. Where do you plan on living?” Emerie questioned with interest.

“Well… I don’t know.”

Azriel chuckled quietly at her bluntness, hoping the females wouldn’t hear.

“You’re welcome to stay here at the House of Wind for as long as you want, right Cas?” He could feel Nesta smiling as she went on “Az?”

He turned around, striding to the three females on the floor, as if he’d not been paying attention this whole time.

“What?”

“Gwyn’s thinking of leaving the library and I invited her to stay here with us for as long as she wants.” Nesta repeated, smiling almost mischiefly. Azriel didn’t know what Cassian told her, but he fought the urge to grimace at his brother from across the room. Not that he’d speak a lot about it the night before, but Rhys and Cassian knew him too well to know something might be going on.

“Of course.” He nodded, giving his usual half smile.

Yes yes yes yes yes

His shadows agitated in excitement, and he controlled them the best he could as he stared at Gwyn. But by the way she looked up at him, and then at his shadows, he knew she caught up on something. He didn’t let his smile falter, though. He was happier than he would admit. And then she blushed. Furiously.

Azriel blinked, but she was already facing the other side of the ring. He couldn’t think much through it, because Cassian decided that was the moment for them to start training. And so they did, falling into their usual stances and going through the routines.

Everything just felt easy when they trained together. Correcting her, encouraging her, even taunting and challenging each other, it was all their usual behavior. Still, today he felt something else. Something he couldn’t quite put his finger around it, but nonetheless, he still felt it. It was that slight posture change from the night before, how Gwyn now seemed lost in thought for a few seconds when she looked at him. It was that same tension from last night, those seconds of silence where she stood a few feet from him at the dining room, her piercing eyes looking at his, before they hugged. Something had changed, and he really wanted to know what.

When training finished, Azriel was arranging the equipments on the training ring when he heard her all-too familiar voice.

“See you later, Shadowsinger.”

He turned around to face her, but she was already gone.

******

“So” Nesta started as she took a sip from her orange juice. “I’m thinking about inviting Gwyn to come over to dinner at the River House, this Friday. She only went to the Town House, and it was months ago. What do you think?”

Azriel, Cassian and Nesta were having lunch at the balcony in the House of Wind, and he tried his best to ignore her inquisitive eyes: eyes that knew too much, her sharp intelligence not missing a thing. Cassian nodded all the same, but Az knew she wasn’t asking her mate.

“I think that’s good.” He kept his tone neutral and stared at her inexpressively. His typical Shadowsinger posture.

But she only snorted in response, shaking her head.

“You two…” She muttered to herself.

Azriel kept in silence, and ate another mouthful of food. Cassian, then, seeming to realize they were having a new type of conversation, crossed his arms and reclined in his seat.

“What’s happening here?”

Azriel rolled his eyes, but Nesta quickly retorted, ignoring Cassian completely as she kept those cunning eyes over Az.

“I may ask you the same. What’s the deal with Gwyn’s birthday gift?”

“I did what you suggested me to do.” Azriel responded simply, but Nesta didn’t buy it.

“Please. You know that’s not what we suggested. What’s going on between you two?”

Cassian glanced repeatedly from his brother to his mate, highly amused by their topic of conversation.

“Yeah, brother, what’s going on between you two?”

“We’re friends.” Azriel meant what he said: indeed, they were. Even though he wasn’t quite sure if friends felt that difficulty in stop thinking about each other the way he’d been having during these last hours. “That’s it.”

“Keep saying that to yourself.” Cassian smirked as he and his mate exchanged a knowing look that got to Azriel’s nerves. Cauldron, he needed to get away from these two for some time. Not only because they were intolerable when they wanted to, but because he knew they were right.

And still, like magnets, his thoughts couldn’t stay away from Gwyn for too long. Couldn’t ignore that slightly odd behavior this morning, her blushing and staring. Was it possible she got embarrassed from the moment they shared together? Regretful even, of those minutes they were in each other’s arms? Or could it be that… Or could it be that she felt something else entirely, something his rational side was only starting to realize might feel for her?

And so, he got up to do what he always did when consumed by thoughts. With a grunt as response at those two in front of him, he went flying.

*****

He seemed to get home at the right time. After hours of brooding and soaring, brooding and soaring, his wings were sore and his shadows, restless. He didn’t exactly come to a conclusion about what he felt, but one thing he could admit: whatever it was that was going on with him, he liked it. He liked Gwyn, and what they had with each other. She made him feel… Peace. Stillness. In a way he never truly had felt before.

He thought about the night he told her about the necklace, all those months ago. How she could immediately tell what he was about to say when he mentioned Elain, and at the end she merely whispered “Don’t worry. I understand.” The way he knew she could see his relief, his shoulders relaxing at her response. Her gentle, sensible smile, as if she knew he was having a rough time, and could relate to that. Her understanding was all he was craving for at the time, and it made his heart warm up when he got it.

She was too kind.

And then that side of him attacked again, intrusive thoughts he was trying his best to control these last few weeks. He didn’t deserve someone to treat him like that. She could’ve pushed him away, she should’ve fought him. She should’ve yelled at him, despised him. After all, she was in her right, and he was that heartless monster, the one that got there too late that night, all those years ago. But for some reason, she didn’t do it. And their friendship only grew stronger from that point on.

He trailed off as soon as he got to the hallway, and saw a curious Gwyn follow Nesta through the rooms, showing her the place.

“Ok, so, I think you know all of it by now. Have you talked to Clotho yet? We can move you in right away.”

Gwyn nodded. “Yeah, I did. She acted like she was fine with it.”

“Do you need any help?”

They both turned on their heels as they looked at Azriel. Damn, that’s when he realized he hadn’t taken a bath since that morning. And he spent the afternoon flying.

But Gwyn didn’t seem to mind it, as she offered him a smile.

“No need, I haven’t got much to carry upstairs anyway.”

“Welcome home” He couldn’t help his relaxed, even slightly hopeful tone, as he threw her a knowing smile.

She huffed a laugh and thanked him. With a nod, he excused himself and went to his chambers. When he closed his door, he let his shadows run free, because he, too, shared their joy that Gwyn would be closer to them now. He took a long, hot bath, and when he got out and was getting dressed, he heard a knock on his door.

He opened it up to see Nesta with a triumphant smile on her face. He grunted “What do you want”

“Just so you know” She said by way of greeting. “Gwyn will be sleeping in this floor from now on.”

“You…”

“I didn’t do anything. She chose it, and the room she liked best was coincidentally that one” She pointed towards the third door on the left. “Hope you don’t mind.”

He swallowed, and that was the only visible sign he felt something about that information.

“As long as she doesn’t, it’s fine by me.”

“Perfect!” Azriel fought the urge to roll his eyes at her smugness.

But his heart rate suddenly went up at the thought of being that close to Gwyn. And he couldn’t deny that he spent the rest of the night way, way more aware of the sounds around him than he usually was.