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jmdbjk · 1 year

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Jimin's mail

I would like to take this opportunity to address the Jimin's "stolen" mail incident and perhaps dispel some misinformation circulating about it in this day and age of shouting sabotage for everything.

This whole topic might be boring to everyone, but my brain won't let go of it so here it is:

This incident occurred early 2022.

For reference: Jimin purchased his apartment at Nine One Hannam in May 2021. It was a brand new building and he is the first owner of his unit. He paid in cash approx. $4.5 million USD.

In January 2022 this apartment unit was seized temporarily by the South Korea National Health Insurance agency (NHI) due to unpaid insurance premiums.

Boring but important: South Korea provides universal healthcare which is funded several ways including citizens paying a percentage of their monthly income. These premiums also fund the Medical Aid program for those who cannot pay.

The controversy: According to the NHI, Jimin was sent four notices by registered mail of his unpaid insurance premiums. But somehow, this correspondence from the NHI never made it to Jimin. BigHit took full responsibility for this "mishandling of the mail". A portion of the BigHit statement reads:

"Regarding this matter, the company is the first to receive all mail that arrives at the artists’ dorms, and in the process of relaying it to the artist, a portion of the mail was omitted by mistake. Due to Jimin’s activities abroad starting at the end of last year, his extended period of rest, and his scheduled activities abroad after that, he was unaware of matters such as [his premiums] being overdue. As soon as he found out, he paid the arrears in full, and at present, the situation has been resolved. We apologize for the fact that we have given the artist and fans cause for concern due to our company’s negligence."

Another source stated that some mail does go directly to members' homes and is retrieved by company staff where it is included with mail sent in care of the company which is then distributed to the respective member if necessary. This corroborates with the above statement by Bighit.

In an artist/agency relationship, one of the things the agency (company) provides are staff/managers who MANAGE their day-to-day business. Managers make it so artists can lead the crazy lives they live. Makes sense as the members are too busy to take care of mundane things like paying bills.

Was REGISTERED mail taken/intercepted/stolen four times from the mail room at BigHit/HYBE? I don't have clarification on that. But seems like taking someone's registered mail would be a punishable crime.

What was going on during this time: The group was on a winter break that began early December 2021 after their activities in Los Angeles concluded. Jin, Jimin and Jungkook returned to Korea almost immediately and entered self-quarantine for ten days before they were free to do what they wanted within the scope of Covid restrictions.

Refreshing everyone's memory about Bangtan and Covid: Dec. 24: Yoongi tests positive for Covid. Dec. 25: Jin and Namjoon test positive. Jan. 30: Jimin's Covid happens simultaneously with appendicitis. Feb. 15: Tae tests positive. Mar. 24: Hobi goes down for the count. Mar. 27: last but definitely not least, JK AFTER arriving in Vegas.

The members, including Jimin, were starting to post on their individual Instagrams in December. Between Dec. 21 to Jan. 9, Jimin posted photos of himself on both Instagram and Weverse at various places from his visit to Jeju Island. We don't know about the timing of the photos, whether they were posted immediately after he snapped them or posted them days/weeks later.

He posted Jan. 7 on Instagram and then his next post, this time on Weverse, wasn't until Feb. 2, immediately following his emergency appendectomy. He was in the hospital between Jan. 30 and Feb. 5 so he posted a message from his hospital bed (sweet baby).

If he did not get his apartment back until April, then he did not know about his apartment situation while he was in the hospital.

But the NHI sent four notices. So backing up further chronologically, if they seized his apartment on January 25, that means the first overdue payment notice was possibly sent in September 2021?

Sept. 13: receiving diplomat passports.

Sept. 20: UN visit and speech in New York

Oct. 24: online PTD concert

Preparations were then focused on PTD LA. They departed Seoul for Los Angeles on November 16, 2021.

They were busy. They depended on their staff to take care of their personal business.

All that time, Jimin was not aware that there was a lapse in his insurance payments. When he was made aware of the situation, he paid it all immediately.

I have no source that states exactly when this payment was received by the NHI or when it was processed.

They left March 28, 2022 for Las Vegas and returned to Seoul on April 18. There are conflicting media stories about exactly when the apartment seizure was resolved. Some say April 22.

When he was still in Seoul and not traveling to the States, where was Jimin sleeping between January 25 and April 22? Where did he recuperate when he was released from the hospital? Where was he watching "The Notebook" for the nth time? Whose sofa was he laid up on? Hmmmmmm? Did he still have access to his apartment even though it was seized? What's the point of seizing it if he still had access to it? Did he even live there? Maybe that's why he didn't know anything about the seizure because he didn't even live there to begin with? But if he did live there and couldn't access his apartment to sleep there because it was seized, why didn't it get resolved sooner than April 22?

I have so many questions.

We also need to remember that it is said during their time in Las Vegas is when Jimin confided in the members about his challenges. And he's said that these feelings ended up being expressed in the songs on his Face album. Maybe he didn't learn about the apartment mess until he was in Las Vegas and that was the catalyst that made him spill his guts to the members. Still doesn't answer a lot of the above questions....

Media broke with the news about the apartment seizure on the day that "With You," an OST for the TV drama "Our Blues," was released, April 24. Despite all this, "With You" became the fastest song in history to reach #1 on iTunes in 100 total countries, breaking the record held by "Dynamite". It is well known that even negative publicity is publicity. Personally, I don't think it had much effect on the success of the song. But Jimin's character did take a hit. Also in my opinion, he has since recovered well from all that crap. Just me talking about this is probably reminding people that this even happened. Sorry. Just forget I said anything. Ha ha. What apartment? Ha.

Whether the timing of the media breaking the story was on purpose or coincidental... we don't know. Stating purposeful sabotage of Jimin's song is speculation. A news outlet will break a story if its titillating enough regardless of timing. Jimin losing his apartment due to unpaid bills is intriguing and high drama involving a member of BTS, of course they were going to push that story out ASAP.

If the apartment seizure was resolved 2 days before the story broke, we don't know how this information got to the media. THAT is the big question. Is there some sort of process that allows this information to be released somewhere accessible to the public (and therefore the media). If so, what is the timing of that? Or did a news media outlet learn about the incident on April 22 and hold on to the information until April 24? We don't know.

Saying the media sabotaged Jimin's OST "With You" is not the full truth. It is misinformation at this point.

With the information I know of, I do not believe there was a break-in at Jimin's apartment. I can't find a reliable source to confirm anything about a break-in, suspicions of a break-in or any mention of one. Nine One is very locked down and secure so a break-in is unlikely. You cannot waltz into the apartment complex and snoop around. Unlike Hannam The Hill, Nine One is surrounded by a high wall with security stations at the entrances. However, someone who had access to his apartment such as a personal assistant or housekeeping could very well have entered without his permission. But we don't know.

If someone was determined to intercept his mail, they may not have needed access to his apartment but only to his mailbox. Where ever that is. We are told all mail is collected by staff or it is sent directly to the company... it is possible it was a mistake but what kind of idiot was handling the mail and "misplaced" registered mail four times? I do not have a reliable source confirming anyone was formally accused of stealing the mail at BigHit. They most likely dealt with it internally. At the time of the incident, I blogged that people were fired and security protocols were reviewed. I stand by that declaration. Since then, Jimin has been unyielding in maintaining his privacy. Only very recently have we seen him relaxing enough to show us glimpses of his matching gaming chairs, ceiling and edges of his television. We even got a quick view of some decor above the tv.

I am still unclear about the doxxing but I myself disturbingly did see an image online of some documents that seemed to have Jimin's personal information on them. I think this information is included in the NHI documents that never made it to Jimin. If those images were really his information and still exist on the internet, I cannot find them. These documents would have his resident registration number on them. I am assuming it's a total pain in the ass to be issued a new one.

I do not have a reliable source confirming that a news media entity is responsible for stealing the mail and also revealing Jimin's personal information. Saying news media broke into the HYBE building during this incident is misinformation.

All of these things that can't be confirmed can only be called hearsay and speculation.

Everything I have stated here is my opinion from information I witnessed as it unfolded in real time, as well as information available if you search for it.

If you lean toward conspiracy theories regarding sabotaging of everything Jimin does you will come to certain conclusions. And if you just take things at face value without speculating beyond that then you will come to a different conclusion. We won't all agree as to what exactly went down. If I come across information that is new to me regarding what happened, I may modify my opinion depending on what the new information is.

What I've stated is all I have to go on. I have questions. But I won't say someone broke into his apartment. I won't say someone stole his mail but I am still skeptical because I have too many other collateral questions about the whole incident.

If anyone else has any confirmed information about the incident and you want to talk about it, my DMs are open, asks are open, or you can discuss in the comments of this post as long as everyone stays respectful. I would love to learn about anything else if you have links to sources with new information.

And apologies for the long ramble because my brain is constantly including details that might not be pertinent but who knows...

#i know a lot of stuff yet still don't know shit #just like everyone else #where was jimin sleeping all that time?#who was jimin sleeping with #jungkook sure was quiet all that time #they were together on white day...march 14...#i have the pic but i ain't posting it here #you know the one i'm talking about

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seventeentotheworld · 9 months

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10/5

• Seungkwan went live on Weverse twice!!! He talked alot. The first live was cut because Jungkook was calling him and Seungkwan was using his phone for the live. He also spoiled a hint of the Seventeenth Heaven songs while whistling and realized after what he did, lol

• Mingyu and Wonwoo commenting on Seungkwan’s live and Jungkook using Mingyu’s phone to greet Seungkwan and carats. A special day for ArmyCarats. Wonwoo also revealed that he shot all Jungkook’s and Mingyu’s dance challenge on JK’s tiktok!! Eunwoo was also with Mingyu, Jungkook and Wonwoo. Seungkwan said he’ll join the visuals line, lol.

• Seungkwan talked about Devil’s Plan and was shocked that it was no. 1 in Korea. He said that when they started filming The Devil’s Plan, it was his birrthday and that he could’t post trailers of BSS during that time because they weren’t allowed to use their phones during the show. He also sang covers throughout the live.

• Hoshi attended Jongga Kimchi’s pop up store to advertise since he’s the ambassador with a new hairstyle!!!

• Hoshi also went live after on Weverse and talked about Nana’s Tour (which was initially called Youth of Flowers) and spoiled about it. Later Na Pd, posted about it on Instagram and apologized that he was late than Mr. Hoshi. Hoshi commented to say sorry and replied with 300 million won 🤣 DK also commented on the post saying sorry since his birthday greeting photos of Jeonghan were also spoilers to it

• Hoshi posted a story that he visited Seventeenth Heaven!!

• DK uploaded a sunset photo on Weverse fried eggs

• Hoshi and DK posted on IG. Hoshi uploaded photos of their Budapest trip while DK posted hmu bts of Bally Fashion Week

• Hoshi posted story in IG of doing a dance over of the Hwasa’s song Chilli with 1milliondance

• Scoups & Sangyeon from TheBoyz ate together and signed autographs for the restaurant they ate at

#seventeen #nanatour #svt #seungkwan #mingyu #wonwoo #eunwoo #jungkook #dk #hoshi #dokyeom #sebong #jeonghan #scoups #updates #update

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tomorrowxtogether · 1 year

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TOMORROW X TOGETHER Lands First No. 1 Album on Billboard 200 Chart

TOMORROW X TOGETHER lands its first No. 1 album on the Billboard 200albums chart, as The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION debuts atop the tally (dated Feb. 11). The five-song set earned 161,500 equivalent album units in the U.S. in the week ending Feb. 2, according to Luminate, largely driven by CD album sales.

The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION is the third top 10-charting effort for the South Korean vocal group, which reached the top 10 previously in 2022 with Minisode 2: Thursday’s Child (No. 4) and in 2021 with The Chaos Chapter: Freeze (No. 5).

The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION halts the chart-topping run for SZA’s SOS, which falls to No. 2 (100,000 equivalent album units; down 10%) after spending its first seven weeks at No. 1.

Also in the top 10 of the new Billboard 200, Sam Smith achieves their fourth top 10-charting effort as Gloria debuts at No. 7, while Lil Yachty notches his third top 10 set with the No. 9 arrival of Let’s Start Here.

The Billboard 200 chart ranks the most popular albums of the week in the U.S. based on multi-metric consumption as measured in equivalent album units, compiled by Luminate. Units comprise album sales, track equivalent albums (TEA) and streaming equivalent albums (SEA). Each unit equals one album sale, or 10 individual tracks sold from an album, or 3,750 ad-supported or 1,250 paid/subscription on-demand official audio and video streams generated by songs from an album. The new Feb. 11, 2023-dated chart will be posted in full on Billboard‘s website on Feb. 7. For all chart news, follow @billboard and @billboardcharts on both Twitter and Instagram.

Of The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION’s 161,500 equivalent album units earned, album sales comprise 152,000, SEA units comprise 9,000 (equaling 13.24 on-demand official streams of the set’s five songs) and TEA units comprise 500.

The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION scores the largest sales week for any album since Taylor Swift’s Midnights debuted at No. 1 with 1.14 million copies sold on the Nov. 5, 2022-dated chart. Of The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION’s 152,000 sold, 98% were CD sales (148,500), while 2% were digital album sales (3,500). The set was not available to purchase in any other configuration (such as vinyl or cassette).

The CD configuration of The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION was issued in collectible packages (14 total, including exclusive editions for Barnes & Noble, Target and the Weverse webstore), each with a standard set of internal paper items and branded randomized mystery elements (photo cards, photo books, post cards). CD sales were also enhanced by autographed editions sold via the act’s webstore.

The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION is TOMORROW X TOGETHER’s seventh charting album on the all-genre Billboard 200, though the act has yet to reach the all-genre Billboard Hot 100 songs chart. TOMORROW X TOGETHER is the second act to top the Billboard 200 in the last year without also having previously logged a hit on the Hot 100, following fellow K-pop group Stray Kids, which notched two No. 1 albums in 2022 (ODDINARY and MAXIDENT).

The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION is recorded mostly in the Korean language, with some English lyrics. It is the 17th mostly non-English language album to hit No. 1. In 2022, there were four non-English No. 1s from BTS’ mostly-Korean Proof, Bad Bunny’s all-Spanish Un Verano Sin Ti and Stray Kids’ mostly-Korean ODDINARYand MAXIDENT. Of the 17 mostly non-English No. 1 albums, 10 have been Korean-language projects (six from BTS, two from Stray Kids, one from SuperM and one from TOMORROW X TOGETHER).

#txt #tomorrow x together #230206 #article #billboard #soobin #yeonjun #beomgyu #taehyun #hueningkai #The Name Chapter: TEMPTATION

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ihearyou-jikook · 1 year

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JK, his visitors, & lil CK undies

Look, when I saw the Weverse notifications go off for Tae and JK yesterday I just sighed at work thinking, here we go yall.

I’m not gonna go over all the deets. We got good people out here like @kanmom51 doing the hard work, and Tumblr isn’t even putting it on the TLs so I highly encourage you to check it out here:

I do want to talk about how the wannabe Jikookers are crying like it's the end of the world because Tae….AND Hobi mind you, were at JK’s house. Like yall……🙄

First of all, ya boy Tae, he has a track record. If you know, you know.

He’s that friend that does shit either without thinking of the consequences and/or likes to shake things up cause they think it's funny. I have a few troll friends like that. I love them dearly.

JK is a genius and quick on his feet.

He was like: Initiate damage control even though I really need to finish this laundry and get my ass to bed. I got shit to do tomorrow, damn.

I mean, are you guys really out here ignoring how much JK was huffing and puffing throughout that live while folding laundry? Almost in disbelief that he was even doing it.

But the man knows how to multitask, he out here folding them CK undies like a boss. I really should be taking notes, need to start folding my husband’s undies properly cause JK out here putting me to shame.

Oh and another question for wannabe Jikook supporters.

Are you guys really out here still confused if Jikook shares a space at any given time? Like really?

Between JM’s celebration live on April 4 and JK’s undie live, they out here dropping hints left and right. And this is only in this past week. There have been many puzzle pieces that have been dropped in the past few years that all add up to them cohabitating somewhat regularly.

It really doesn’t matter if they are cohabitating or not, that doesn’t define a relationship, but they are literally serving you delicious appetizers with these hidden-in-plain-sight hints consistently and you keep refusing it.

Why?

I don't know, maybe you like how it feels.

But I am full on these appetizers and we haven't even gotten to the main course yet. Jikook takes good care of me. I stay fed.

Check out Kanmon51’s post about JM’s celebration live from April 4 if you haven’t already.

And lastly just as Kanmon51 mentioned, K-Kookminers/K-Jikookers whatever you wanna call them, they know what is up. They are not pressed by Tae | Kook shippers.

If you don’t understand that Jikook are Korean men, who live in Korea, exhibit Korean culture, check off every box of a Korean couple in their culture, and are a queer closeted couple, then what are you doing claiming you are a Jikook supporter?

If you don’t get it, well don't let the door hit you on the way out.

I'm over here thinking about JK nicely folding some Jimin red CK undies and how nicely Jimin ties his man's hair back neatly. 🫠

#jikook #kookmin

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bangtanpurplearchive · 10 months

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August 2023 part 6

24th August - 31st August 2023

Jin - 317 days (10 months 12 days - 45 weeks 2 days ) until discharge from military (221213 - 240612)

JHope - 444 days (1 year 2 months 17 days - 14 months 17 days - 63 weeks 3 days ) until discharge from military (230418 - 241017)

August

23 August

230823 | Japan Fanclub BTS CORNER Wallpaper #26 Tae (1)

24 August

Instagram: RM (1), (2).Tae (1), (2). (3). (4). (5)

230824 | Tae x Seoul Tourism (1).

230824 | Tae x W Korea (1).

230824 | NPOP x Tae (1).

230824 | V earns his first win for "Love Me Again" on M Countdown! #LoveMeAgain1stWin (1).

230824 |Ask Anything V x W korea (1)

230824 | BTS ranked #7 (surveyed by both experts and general public) in Sisa Journal's "Who Moves Korea 2023" Survey. #BTS is the highest ranking Artist in the List at #4! This is #BTS 5th entry in the Top 10 (2018 - (#16), 2019 - (#8), 2020 - (#9), 2021 - (#5), 2022 - (#4), 2023 - (#7) (1). (2) (3).

25 August Blue teaser trailer 2

Instagram: Big Hit (1), RM (1)Tae (1), (2). (3)

230825 Blue Teaser trailer 2 (1)

230825 JK SEVEN (ft Latto) - Alesso remix visualiser (1) (2)

230825 | Tae x Spur magazine (1). (2). Tae x Arena Homme+ Korea (1). Eyes magazine (2). L’Officiel Thailand (3). Elle Japan (4)

230825 | MelOn Music Ig post Seve and Love me again Weekly Top artist Love Me Again (1). Melon (2).

230825 | Yoongi x NBA (1). Eyes Magazine (2). WWD Korea (3).

230825 | [슈취타] EP.17 SUGA with 이강인 (1). (2). (3).

230825 |[BANGTAN BOMB] Jimin and SUGA Video Call - BTS (방탄소년단).

26 August

Instagram:RM (1).

230826 | Tae will be on PIXd on 230902 at 6pm KST (1). Tae Geffen (2).

230826 | Congratulations Jungkook! It's Seven 10th win on MBC Music Core today! #Seven10thwin (1).

27 August

Instagram: RM (1), (2). (3). (4)

230827 | Tae will be on dingostory (1).

28 August 'Scenery',' 'Winter Bear', 'Snow Flower (feat. Peakboy)' Official Release

Instagram: Big Hit (1), RM (1).

'Scenery',' 'Winter Bear', 'Snow Flower (feat. Peakboy)' Official Release (1) (2)

230828 | Tae weverse (1).

29 August Layover photos - 3

Instagram: Big Hit (1), RM (1). Jimin(1) (2). Tae (1), (2).(3)

230829 | Park Bogum instagram (1). Peakboy (2). Eyes magazine(3).

230829 | BTS x Billboard (1).

230829 | SEVEN Billboard (1) Global 200 #1 (1). Billboard 200 excl US #1 (2).

230829 |JHOPE “Jack In the Box” returns to #1 on this week's Billboard World Albums chart (1) This week's top-selling albums: #2 (2)

230829 | Layover photos - 3 (1).

30 August

Twitter: Big Hit (1) Instagram: RM (1), (2). (3). (4). (5) Tae (1), (2). Tik Tok : (1).

230830 | RM weverse live (1). Tae weverse live (1). (2).

230830 | SEVEN # 1 MelOn daily chart (1).

230830 | Tae will be on You Quiz on the block (1).

230830 | What happened to Chimmy (1).

230830 | Japan Fanclub BTS CORNER Wallpaper #26 JK (1).

31 August

Twitter: Big Hit (1), Instagram: RM (1), (2). Tae (1), (2).

230831 | Tae x Elle Singapore x Celine (1).

230831 | V earns his 2nd win for "Love Me Again" on M Countdown!#LoveMeAgain2ndWin (1).

230831 |Tae on dingo story (1). (2)

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marengogo · 2 years

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7 Nation Army - Part 1(JM): Welcome On Board of The ArteMini, I’m Your Captain; Park Jimin

SEXY NUKIM (feat. RM of BTS) - by Balming Tiger [no album]

[Music is a very big part of my life and I’m MOSTLY INCAPABLE of writing without music, so I just thought I'd share what I am listening to while writing this]

–🐺–🐺–🐺–

So, though we still really don’t know much about Captain Park’s voyage, I thought it might be a good idea to quickly take a look, step by step, at all that we know thus far of his preparation for the highly anticipated PJM, which JM has been working real hard on.

If I’m not mistaken, it all officially started during BTS’ Festa 2022, which aired 13 June 2022 KST.

Not sure if this was the same for everybody, but this didn’t even register properly at first, as the dinner brought forth a lot of emotions as you may or may not know/remember … Anyways.

Right before JM went to Chicago first to support Hobi during Lollapalooza (31 August 2022) and then LA for his own schedule (which we will also look at in a sec), we had members also mentioning the fact that JM has indeed been working hard on PJM1, such as RM during the WLIVE (weverse LIVE) on the 21 July 2022.

Cool, next.

JM spent a good 2 weeks abroad, he left for the US on 30 July 2022 and returned 14 August 2022. As we all know JM went to support Hobi, being the exquisite person that he is, and then also joined Benny Blanco in promoting Bad Decisions which came out 5 August 2022.

But then we all got hella excited when we so the following picture posted on Tommy Borwn’s IG, 10 August 2022. Here is a link to his —> Producing & SongWriting work:

If it hadn’t been clear at this point that JM was working hard on PJM1: It most definitely was right about then.

And JM kept working (30 August 2022)

And working (1 September 2022)

And working (12 September 2022)

HELLA HARD.

Aaaand here are the latest updated from yesterday (17 September 2022), brought to us by singer and songwriter Gabriel Brandes and writer and producer Alex Karlsson. Here is a link to his —> Work Thus Far.

So, moral of the story is that so far: Park 👏🏾 Jimin 👏🏾 is 👏🏾 Working 👏🏾 Hard 👏🏾.

FOR REAL.

Yours, with excitement level 9000,

Marengo.

#BTS 7 Nation ARMY #JM #Park Jimin #ArteMini

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lokisasylum · 2 years

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Just gonna leave this here for the wanna-be dietitians, the fake concerned anons (we know ya'll are antis looking for validation, Martha, stfu), the ones that "get triggered" about these topics ONLY when its about Jimin.

[In case you're wondering which variety show OP is referring to. I do think they are confusing "Please Take Care of My Refrigerator" where JinMin went together---and the BS&T diet was brought up---with Baek Jong Won’s Top 3 Chef King (both shows happened in 2017), where Jin and apparently Jhope? went together, and Jin confessed to having this diet where he ONLY ate 2 packages of chicken breasts (each package had 2 servings) per day FOR A YEAR in order to loose weight until he gave up since he didn’t feel well.]

Another not-so-gentle reminder that Tae mentioned that he was told to loose weight before this recent photoshoot and showed pics on IG of what he ate. But armys weren't concerned, instead they praised him "for his efforts" & "working hard".

JK only drank water for a couple of weeks & worked out like crazy prior to some of the last concerts to the point that RM was worried and talked about it on vlive, but everyone just said "aw, poor kookie" and moved on. Not to mention that RM got DRAGGED for even daring to talk about "JK's weight" when its "none of his business". (don't even get me started on Butter era and that one diet that none of the members knew about and found out during vlive also...)

Jhope didn't eat or sleep properly before Lollapalooza due to stress, too much pressure and whatnot. You could literally SEE how bad he looked in many of the photo updates he put up on ig and weverse. But guess what? No one cared about that "cause he was gonna KILL IT at "Hobipalooza", "The FIRST and ONLY bts member to do so", "What a LEGEND". (And if you look at pics of him a week or two AFTER lollapalooza he STILL looked so skinny you could make out the bones on his arm. Just look up the pics of when he and RM went to see Billie Eillish’s concert).

Even after he himself talked about it on his live and how he only came to eat his first meal when Jimin went to support him. AND EVEN THEN, all you saw in the comments & social media was:

"Aww Jiminie is such a good friend."

"Such an Angel"

"Jimin the best brother"

"Jimin the best human being"

"Be good, be like Jimin".

Oh but when Jimin is the one talking about loosing weight ('cause he gained a bit during the summer). THAT is when the narrative changes to:

"Oh he has an ED."

"He's always SO insecure about HIS BODY."

"Damn those fucking Korean beauty standards are BRUTAL--"

"He's falling back into bad habits."

"I wish i could shake him and scream in his face that he's perfect no matter what."

"Unbelievable, can he STOP?"

"Will somebody PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN??"

Okay so explain to me, how does he have an eat*ng d*sorder when we've seen tons of videos of him (and i'm only gonna count the fancams) since he went to Chicago for Lollapalooza all the way to LA, eating, drinking, feasting, having the time of his life next to Staff members, celebs, producers all summer long.

(The ONLY time we actually saw him "holding back" on eating too much was during the VHopeMinKook live and it was because of Jungkook since allegedly they were gonna eat together after JK came back from working out-post-concert)

Oh no, but suddenly he has a non-existent ED for wanting to loose the weight he gained during the summer. (because he DID mentioned earlier that he gained a bit back then, but like.... that's all of us? We all gained weight during summer lol Even I'm trying to loose the 5 pounds I gained).

Bottom line is... he's a grown ass man (almost 27 was it?), its HIS body, he knows what he's doing and WHY he's doing it. This isn't 2016, the circumstances are NOT the same compared to back then and we need to let that shit GO!

FOR GOOD.

If you really are this easily triggered by someone else actions about THEIR image and body, then maybe its time YOU stood away from social media and get REAL HELP, for YOURSELF.

#bts #jimin #park jimin #bantansonyeondan #bts vlive #weverse live #jin #jhope #v #jungkook #rm

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beautifulpersonpeach · 2 years

Note

Bpp, I hope those people who were doubting BTS’ members solo debut are for sure annoyed by how big the first two debuts have been so far. It says something about the trust in the member’s solo selling capacity is that Jhope had Lollapalooza and now Jin will be having his first debut at a freaking Coldplay concert!!! The powers that be *know* that they each have the recognition and selling capacity—like I doubt Chris’ label wpuld’ve okayed him performing them with this surprise announcement if they weren’t sure if he had the individual star power and recognizability???? Not to mention it speaks so much to Jin’s own relationship to Chris himself!! I’m not looking forward to the expectations this past two precedents are building tho 😅 i’ve already seen some skirmishes happening bec of jin’s physical cd vs jhope’s digital release, and it wasn’t even solos doing it… altho i’m still pretty peeved at the lack too, the limited vynils didnt help at all?!! but I hope Army doesn’t let ourselves forget that each member’s solo promo will be individualized and to not let solos agitate us to starting drama…

Hi Anon,

I’m only just getting to posting your ask now because between Jin’s Astronaut release, Riri’s Chadwick tribute, and other things happening at the time, I was kinda swamped and since your ask really just states the obvious, I triaged your ask to post later.

I like asks like yours that state things that are obvious to see. Because sometimes, it’s necessary to. We can all see how well Chapter 2 is going for BTS. We’re all on here, both ARMYs and those still hooked on BTS/ARMYs for whatever reason, every week or so talking about some new project they’re on. We can recognize how huge of a deal it is for a Korean solo act to headline a Western music festival for the first time, the sheer insanity of this showing being that artist’s solo debut, and noting this is after BTS had turned the city of Las Vegas into a festival of their own just months prior.

Coldplay is probably the only band active today that can rival BTS in pure star power and name recognition. And seeing that cultural connection, hearing Korean spoken by a white English man to thousands of Argentines because of a SeokJin of BTS, is just really fucking cool. I keep saying, the way BTS center their language and culture in these collaborations is like nothing else you’ll see anybody in k-pop being even able to attempt. It’s the sort of representation that I can only see BTS doing at this point. Perhaps in about 5-ish years some other acts will catch up to this, but right now, no one is doing it like them.

As to the format the solo roll-outs have taken and will take, that’s not a conversation I’m not going to bother engaging in at all because this is the perfect example of a waste of time. None of the guys have zero say in those matters. And while I understand the ARMYs upset about the different formats, ultimately at the crux of it, those are excuses. ARMYs have worked with less and done more. If people want to show up, they will, regardless of the music format. Personally, I thought the design was a bit hideous (a tiny cardboard box? Really?) but I was surprised to find out Weverse albums has even better sound quality than Apple Music. And this for me was enough to say fuck it to everything else. I’ve never been the sort to collect albums and merch anyway. If you have not heard what Arson and Future sound like on that app, and you’re an audiophile, do yourself a favour and listen to it ASAP.

It’s so interesting to me the things Hybe is clearly spending money on. Weverse Live, not really. But Weverse albums? Absofuckinglutely.

There’s a deeper dissatisfaction happening with Hobi-biased people (and solo stans) towards Hybe and the fandom and all this album/format issue did was inflame it. But as I’ve said before, in Chapter 2 expect issues like this to become the norm especially when the Maknae Line start their solo releases. It will do nobody any good giving any of these quips oxygen. I intend to focus on what the boys release (through Hybe) and support them if I like the music.

It’s honestly that simple for me.

#bts chapter 2 #hobi #seokjin #jin new solo #coldplay #the astronaut #jitb

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struggle-but-its-all-ocean-floor · 8 months

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Different anon and I get what you’re trying to say but idk there’s a very clear difference in how things are happening.

LC reached #1 on the hot 100 against very difficult odds, and while normally with other artists, the label would try hard to further promote the song and increase its success, with LC, it wasn’t pushed much after the first week or two. Fans pushed it and made it trend on TikTok after weeks through hard work and constant edits, but that took time, and it was the fans’ work not the label.

And sure Slow Dancing received remixes but that was after tracking week was already over or it was too late to help much (which suggests it was done for fun and music and nothing else since it didn’t actually help the album at all or really promote it further and that’s totally fine because remixes ARE supposed to be fun, but yeah this is simply not the case with Jk)

Jungkook has received 2 albums worth of remixes for his two singles during tracking, and now the third album of remixes has been released for SNTY. He has more remixes/versions in the span of 5 months than RM’s entire discography on Spotify which includes two full length albums and several singles/features.

3D was also placed #1 on TTH playlist only a few hours after release, and SNTY was placed #1 less than 30 MINUTES after the album released. That is not a reasonable time to determine level of success.

And talking about sales, several hundred thousand sales were deleted from both Layover and Face (normally some sales get deleted in kpop, but that’s a crazy and unexpected amount) whereas absolutely zero sales were deleted from Golden, despite Golden getting a lesser number of preorders.

Like ofc Jungkook is crazy talented and was gonna be the most successful but the way albums are handled is very different and this idea that “it’s what they themselves wanted” is a little weird, because we’re not taking about promotions like interviews or performances (which they themselves would choose) we’re taking about how company promotes.

The American label, Geffen, made zero comments or noise about Layover throughout its release until after tracking week. During that same exact week, they made countless posts about and promoted New Jeans, Boy Next Door, TXT, and Jungkook’s Seven several times. All of whom had released new music at least a month (and more) before V’s album and yet during the main week, nothing for Layover.

That’s not normal.

Hybe itself let Weverse release an article shading Jimin and Like Crazy.

Members may not want remixes, or crazy promotional activities in the US, but certain members did still promote in the US, and everyone wants to be successful but the treatment was different and all we’re asking for is the bear minimum.

The amount of things that went wrong with all these albums but especially Face and Layover is crazy. People are saying it’s because they’re very popular and the xenophobic industry got in the way (which explains problems with charts, sales, links, etc) but then, Jungkook is arguably the most popular, yet hasn’t faced even slightly the amount of industry sabotage that they did (not saying I want him to because fuck no, but I do question WHY)

V still doesn’t have a “this is V” playlist which the company has to request. The label clearly didn’t submit V or Jimin for awards they were eligible for. This is not normal.

Like none of this makes sense or seems fair.

Tbh, isn't that what Hybe always does? Nothing? Aside from a simple congratulatory post and remixes, there's nothing from Hybe. The same thing happened with Seven, I think? Everything was already scheduled and planned, including the remixes, before Seven hit no.1. Hybe didn't do anything special after that. Did they? LC had remixes, right? Wasn't that a week after it went no. 1? Jimin would've had to agree with them I guess. With Seven there were immediately remixes but that has become a company policy. Hybe did that with LSF and TXT because they're trying to reach the US market. But I think Hybe wasn't trying to do that with Face, because Jimin wasn't either, whilst JK explicitly said Golden was in English because the goal was to reach the foreign market, and that was Bang PD's strategy.

Seven wasn't though no.1 when it came out though, despite being an English single with backing from SB. But after Seven did so well why wouldn't 3D (feat. Jack Harlow too) and SNTY be placed at no. 1? A song doesn't have to prove its success when it just came out. If the artist is big, you know the song will be too. Would you find it weird if a TS song was no.1 on TTH right after release? No, because she's TS.

Can you explain? I keep seeing stuff like this everywhere, but I really don't understand what it means...

Yeah... Because those other songs are GP friendly and with the right promotion can expand the artists' fanbase, especially when some of those groups are so young. In TXT's case, they have a solid fanbase abroad but the goal is to promote them in the US - hence DILT and Back for More. Likewise, Jungkook was meant to do well in the US. That was the entire point of Seven. Jungkook didn't even ask to release an album, but Bang PD convinced him and Jungkook was clear about the agenda behind it. Layover wasn't targeting the US and would never have broken records or grown V's fanbase by much because he's already huge and the GP wouldn't be that interested in a jazzy Korean song. I'm sure Geffen could've done more, but it also makes sense that they didn't.

Hybe itself let Weverse release an article shading Jimin and Like Crazy.

Bang PD literally said Seven's success was in large part because of SB and used Jungkook's success to praise himself and SB for being great masterminds. That was even worse. Hybe loves itself more than their artists.

A lot of fans who preordered layover back in early August are just NOW receiving the album while many fans received a physical copy of Golden before even the official release. The amount of delayment with sales from the same company perfectly being able to ship other members’ music that were released months after is ridiculous. V still doesn’t have a “this is V” playlist which the company has to request. The label clearly didn’t submit V or Jimin for awards they were eligible for. This is not normal.

It's good that they did better with Golden, right? Maybe they had better motivation.

What awards?

#ask #bts #jungkook #jimin #v #text

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thoughts-on-bangtan · 3 years

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Let’s Talk: Jimin’s & Tae’s confessions (RUN Episode 141)

by Admin 1

Originally, I planned on writing a summary or vmin cut of the RUN episode but then I transcribed Jimin’s and Tae’s confessions and it got me thinking, and now here we are. Instead of a summary here are some of my musings and thoughts about their confessions and how they are right in line with things they’ve said in the past, and even quite recently, as well as how it fits with something Namjoon said in 2020 about them as well. I hope this will at least be somewhat interesting.

So, first, let’s look at Jimin’s confession, since this is longer and was first in the episode:

Jimin’s Confession

Jimin: Sometimes I am blunt. I’m like that at times.

Na PD: Taehyung, has Jimin ever said anything bluntly to you?

Tae: Nowadays, he's really putting in effort to fix that to the point where it rarely happens anymore. Jimin tends to be very hard on himself, which also broke our hearts to see.

Na PD: So, he gets stressed from himself, then gets mad at himself...

Tae: Then gets mad at himself.

Na PD: ...and then he blurts remarks.

(here it was a bit unclear (for me at least) which of the two said which line so I’m sorry if I mixed them up)

Jimin: It’s something I want to be forgiven for.

Tae: But Jiminie being blunt and me being blunt is completely different. Jimin has a kind hearted nature on the regular.

Na PD: Right.

Jimin: Are you usually not like that?

Tae: I’m, well...

The other members stop Tae, since it’s not time for his confession, and instead the question is posed by JK if they forgive Jimin to which everyone says yes.

Tae: You’re innately kind at heart. stretches out hand for handshake.

Jimin: Thank you. Jimin thinks (?) Tae might be going for a fist bump since he gives him his fist instead, which Tae still takes and shakes.

The first thing about this that caught my attention, as well as one of our anons, was the fact that instead of choosing literally any of the other members, Na PD turned to Tae and asked him to verify if something like that (as in Jimin being blunt) ever happened toward him. You could say we’re thinking too much here, interpreting too much into it, and yet it doesn’t change the fact that he chose to ask Tae. Of course it could be because he said at the start of the program that he feels closest to Tae since he heard about him from two of his Wooga squad friends, but it might’ve just as well been because he watched the members for a while already at that point (since they’d already been filming a few hours) and perhaps he did notice how Tae and Jimin naturally gravitate toward each other, have this special bond? Other people who worked with them in the past noticed it, so why wouldn’t he?

There’s actually moment where Jimin turns and says Taehyungie like he wants to ask him something or say something to him which isn’t in the subs and the members don’t notice it either so Jimin never got to actually say whatever he wanted to say. Also, we’ve all seen how Tae and Jimin behaved during the game in the previous episode, how happy, smiley and giggly they were while being silly together.

Then the actual confession itself, Jimin saying that he can be blunt at times, toward others but also especially toward himself. We’ve heard many times from Jimin about how much of a perfectionist he is, how he can get mad at himself for mistakes, how he sometimes speaks without thinking which can end up a bit mean/blunt, and now he’d like to be forgiven for it.

This actually reminded me of something he said to Tae before:

FESTA 2020 from 42:56 min onward (context - the question was: have you felt disappointed in or sorry to the member to your right?):

Jimin: For Taehyung I should say if I compare those two feelings to him I was more hurt than sorry. Over time, it was reversed. Now I don’t feel slighted. I’m more sorry about things. Back then we were buddies so we had a lot of disagreements or didn’t admit that we were wrong. So I felt disappointed about little things. Now he listens to me well so I feel sorry that I talked to him harshly and every little thing.

The last line especially sticks out to me. I know there’s some language nuance here that got lost in translation which wisha mentioned when the FESTA 2020 video was posted (but is now gone since her twt was suspended), and yet it doesn’t change that fact that it fits with Jimin’s confession, how he was harsh to Tae in the past but now feels sorry for it, and with what Tae said, that Jimin is now making an effort to fix that behavior, to not be so blunt/harsh anymore.

It’s so interesting to me to see these mentions of what could be seen as character flaws over the years, things that make them inherently human. Also it fits with what we know about the evolution of vmin, how they used to have disagreements, have issues with proper communication but over time worked on it, got better at it to the point where they can now understand each other by just looking into each other’s eyes, and Tae’s words about Jimin, how he’s an angel, the warmest person he ever met, and now how he has a kind hearted nature, therefore the bluntness is not taking away from it in any way.

There was also something about this in Jimin’s solo RollingStone interview which caught my attention:

(btw, if you haven’t yet, I highly recommend reading the main and solo RollingStone interviews because they are really, really good!)

Taehyung’s confession

Tae: Compared to the other members, I’m very lazy. Once I’ve set my mind on something, to get that into action, it takes me up to 2 months. I’m start working out, then quit. I’ve quit projects midway too. I’m the type where if I’m not feeling it, I don’t do it. There are times when I feel sorry to the members.

Someone (I can’t pinpoint the voice): How would be summarize this?

Jimin: You’d usually call this as “irresponsible”. He lacks responsibility,

Tae: I’m still an amateur.

Na PD: “I lack responsibility and am lazy”. Is that how we can understand it?

Tae: Yes.

Jimin: To be honest, we don’t think it’s to that extent, but if that’s what he feels... we forgive him.

Something I love about what Jimin said (in far fewer words than I will use because you know me, I can’t keep myself short) is that he essentially did two things at once, being: he assured Tae (and the viewers) that him and the members think differently, don’t see it as severely as Tae does himself, and then he also acknowledged the validity of Tae’s words, that even if Jimin doesn’t agree with him, Jimin knows that those feelings are still valid, that that’s what Tae feels and that, at the end of the day, even if the members don’t agree, they can’t change Tae’s mind, can’t force him into seeing things differently. The only person who can do that is Tae himself, and that’s okay. Jimin and the other members will still quietly support and reassure him when needed until he’ll “fix” this weakness, if that is something he wants to do.

This really shows how in tune with Tae Jimin is, but also how emotionally intelligent he is. Beautiful. Also, notice how Jimin said that without being asked to do so, which will come into play again a little later in this post and why I point it out specifically again.

Listening (or rather reading along) as Tae said that, it reminded me of something he said a few months ago:

Taehyung BE-hind Story Interview from 5:49 min onward:

Q: How do you cope when it’s hard to work/with these situations?

Tae: I’m very true to my emotions so uh...if I can’t write the songs or can’t come up with a title I just don’t. Like now!

Yoongi: That’s actually the best way.

Tae: I just don’t write it like how I’m doing it now, and I don’t want to be pressured to create something against my will.

Yoongi: It’s not like you have to finish a song within a day or two?

Tae: Right! So I’ve been taking some rest for about four months now. Now that I’m resting for four months...

Yoongi: Wasn’t your mixtape supposed to be out last year?

Tae: The mixtape that was supposed to happen last year was postponed. I should be in a state full of emotions right now, but I haven’t reached it yet. It’s like...my first mixtape so I want to feel that satisfaction when I release it whenever that time will be.

Yoongi: That’s why you have to finish the whole thing while you’re at it...

Tae: Yes.

Yoongi: ...or else it takes too long to finish it. So, you have to finish it within that period.

Tae: Right.

Yoongi: I’m guessing you might’ve missed the time.

The thing though is that what Tae said, that if he doesn’t feel it, he won’t do it/finish it, that just shows how much of an artist he is, how much his art truly matters to him, and how important it is to him that his art, in this case his music, turns out just the way he wants it to or else he won’t finish it or release it. And while Tae might call this “irresponsible”, I don’t think it’s that in this case, or that it’s a sign of laziness either, though just like Jimin, I don’t want to invalidate his feelings either. All I want to bring across is how in the context of his music, this isn’t a weakness or flaw, even if it might seem like it, especially in their line of work with deadlines, schedules and plans made weeks and months in advance where, usually, you can’t just take a four month break.

So, in that regard, I can understand how it can feel like a flaw to him, make him feel guilty about it and sorry to the members who in this case might rely on him to get something done on time and he might not do it, or not without forcing himself to do it or being dissatisfied, you know what I mean?

Earlier today Tae was on weverse and answered a few questions about his mixtape (though I have a feeling it really is time for ARMY to stop asking him about it and just let him breath) where he said that even though he got a song from someone and made ten himself, even with that break he took according to his BE interview, the songs just aren’t what he wanted them to be and thus he decided to start again.

Some could say it’s again a case of him being irresponsible the way he characterized it during the RUN episode, that even though he said last year he was almost done and would release it soon it ended up being postponed and now he started over again, but once again I think it just shows how very important his music is to him, and therefore I’d actually call it a strength. It shows how valuable his artistic expression is to him, to create music the way he wants to, at his own pace, and only release it once he feels it’s right.

One more thing, just like I said in the intro of this post, Jimin and Tae jumping in to assure the other, reminded me of something Namjoon said during his Map of the Soul : 7 vlive last year:

The context is a little different, but I think it’s still valid here as well, how Tae and Jimin made excuses for each other, how Tae immediately softened how harsh Jimin’s own words about himself might come across, assured both us and Jimin that really he has a kind heart despite this weakness, and then also Jimin by saying that things aren’t as bad as Tae makes them seem either. It’s interesting to really see something play out in a manner similar to what another member said about them based on having been with Jimin and Tae for the last nearly ten years.

Whoever claims that BTS just play out concepts or “plots” and characters given to them by the company really should just take a seat and stop. I mean, sure they all have a sort of persona they embody in front of the camera, at least to a certain degree, they’ve spoken about that numerous times, but they are still humans with flaws and their own dynamics between each other away from the cameras which, logically, also come across on camera as well, not always but enough for us to pick up on it. And in this case, with these confessions during RUN, we saw something that we previously only really heard about happen right in front of us proving (not that they have to prove anything to us, of course, we should simply trust them and what they tell us) that it really is that way.

Here’s the anon I mentioned earlier:

From anon: It might just be me lol but I think rather than Jimin forgetting he's being filmed for a show (with all those members of staff as onlookers as well) and blowing a kiss at Tae / blowing on Tae's chest, he probably just noticed a tiny bit of lint or fluff on Tae's cardigan or mic and decided to blow it off... Of course, if that was the case, that still reveals their high level of intimacy and the fact that even when interacting infront of strangers they seem to be unable to stop showing exactly how tuned into each other they are... I don't think it's a coincidence that Na PD chose to ask Tae, of all the members, to verify Jimin's statement about his flaw. He was probably observing them all day and noticed how particularly close they were, even amongst all the extremely close members.

#vmin #Jimin #Taehyung #BTS #BTS RUN episode 141

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uhgoodmoni · 3 years

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Our Clock is Ticking | KTH

After a post Christmas breakup with his girlfriend Taehyung is celebrating New Years alone in a hotel. The ball drops, yet 2021 doesn’t come.

Warnings: angst and some fluff

Ao3 - Wattpad

(Taehyung POV)

I pull my lips together in a frown, glancing down at the last text I sent.

‘Merry Christmas I guess’

‘Read at 1:34 am’

A deep sigh heaves from my chest. Yeah. Merry fucking Christmas and a Happy New Year. Stuck in an unfamiliar country in an unfamiliar town by my damn self. Guess we picked the perfect time to pick a fight. I bring my eyes to the clock. It’s 5:00 pm on New Year’s Eve. I could be at home with the rest of the boys but nooo. She had to drag me out to see her damn family and then pick a fight with me so I’m stuck spending the holiday alone.

My head falls back against the couch. What the fuck am I going to do now? It’s already passed the new year in Korea, but maybe I’ll call someone. Jimin… Yoongi. I don’t know. What would I even say? Hey, Mara and I broke up yesterday, and now I’m alone on New Years. Tch. Yeah. As much as I’d love to spill my guts out to them I’ve cried so much this week I feel just like shit. At this point, I just want to fly back home.

Luckily I was able to snag a flight back to Seoul for tomorrow. Not that it didn’t cost a lot, but there’s no way I’m spending another day here to wallow in my self-pity.

The phone screen still shines up in my eyes and I look one more time. A tiny circular picture of her sits at the top of our text. Her tongue stuck out to touch the camera when I took the photo. Silly.

When I take that flight tomorrow, will I ever see her again? I grind my teeth together, my thumb pressing against the power button. Despite how much anger is burning inside me, I hope the answer is yes.

‘I’ll be happier if I lived this next year without you.’ She really said that. I roll over onto my side, curling up on the cushions. She’s probably right. I honestly did make everything harder for her. She was always so understanding though. I wonder if she even meant it.

I sniff, wiping at a stray tear I hadn’t noticed. I’d like to think that she didn’t mean it. That she was just angry and it spilled out after all the dumb shit I said. Or what maybe I didn’t say. A shaky breath leaves my body, and my eyes clench shut. Oh, why can't I stop thinking about it?

Maybe she did mean it. I had never seen her say something with more conviction and anger, her body shook as she had screamed it at me. Her face had gone red like the wine we were drinking. I’m sure that fueled our anger too. But there had to be some backing behind her words. Even if this fight had been the last straw there were so many feelings leading up to this. Every night she spent waiting up for me. How could I not see her patience running out? Slowly but surely our clock had been ticking. Every time we greeted each other, said goodbye, kissed. Had her patience been running out then too?

Even I knew we weren’t fine. Fuck. I should have said something. Maybe I didn’t tell her how much she means to me often enough. Probably not. Of course, she cracked for the holidays. But did she really have to be so cruel?

I glance up from the couch, feeling the vibrations of a phone call. Damnit, I was hoping to avoid talking to anyone for the whole night. Should have figured, they are probably missing me. I sigh looking at the contact. Hoba hyung, a facetime. Not even just a voice call. Internally I groan looking myself in the reflection on my screen and making sure I don’t look like the shit I feel like.

After a deep breath, I answer the call. “Heyyy hyung…” I try and push away everything that has happened. If I tell him he’ll just be worried for no reason.

“Taeee, Happy New Year.” I smile lightly looking at him. He looks tired cause he probably stayed up all night.

I grin, trying to hide away the frown that was stuck on my face. “Hobaa why are you awake so early?” He raises an eyebrow and just shakes his head.

“Just am I guess, and knew you’d be awake so I wanted to call you. How’s the holiday with the missus?”

It’s awful. I said something inconsiderate and ruined the whole thing. We were drinking and I took her defensiveness as an attack on me. Maybe it was maybe it wasn’t. Doesn’t matter. We broke up and she said she doesn’t want to spend another year of her life with me. Now I’m sad and alone on New Years’ Eve. Probably won’t even watch the ball drop. Soak up my misery. I still have that bottle of wine I bought.

At least that’s what I wanted to tell him. And I will. Eventually. Just not today.

“She’s with the fam they are cooking in the kitchen.” I grin and he seems satisfied with that. Hobi is always fooled by my lies. Part of me wished that Jimin or Yoongi had called. They’d be able to call out my bullshit…

“Well, I shouldn’t bother you then you better go help…”

“Yeah… well, how was your night last night?” I say, trying to get him to stay on the call a little longer. Damn, I wish I could go home.

“You know… the usual. Jin passed out right after midnight. Me too.” He giggles. “But the others I guess you could say partied. Not really but we had fun.” I smile at this. Wish I had been there with them.

“Wish I had been there.” I sigh, but smile softly to him, hoping to not reveal how I really feel.

“No, you don’t silly. Go have fun!” He winks to me, “You’ll see us in a couple days anyway.”

“You’re right.” I nod not feeling like telling him I’ll actually be on my way back tomorrow. It stays silent for a moment as he smiles up to me.

“Stay safe and tell Mara I say hi!” He waves and I only nod.

“Bye.”

“Bye.” He says and hangs up. Well… I look at the clock seeing it’s only been about ten minutes since I last checked the time. It’s gonna be a long night.

My palms press into my skull. Trying to nullify the ache resonating in the back of my head. Oh shit. I groan, shielding my eyes as I tentatively open them. Trying to bring myself to life I lick my lips, the taste of that wine leftover on my breath. I cringe, taking a deep breath. Did I really end up drinking last night? I thought that wasn’t the plan. I lift my head from my pillow seeing the bottle resting on the counter. Still full. I swear I could remember at least drinking at least a glass though. Except now I no longer taste the wine on my tongue. As if it had never been there in the first place.

I exhale and plop my head back down. Dumb. Dumb. Dumb. Fuck.

Again I lift my head up, searching for my phone on it’s charger. What time is it? Oh God what if I slept too late and missed my alarm.

2:34 pm. Fuck.

I pull up my ticket on my phone. 4:30 pm. Could I make it in time? Might as well try… I read over the confirmation email.

Thank you for your purchase… Your flight is for 1/1/2021 4:30 pm.

I toss myself from the bed, heading to my suitcase. Should I change? Do I have time? At least I should brush my teeth. I flick through the email, feeling like I’m forgetting something as I shuffle to the bathroom.

Sent at 2:00 pm.

I squint my eyes at this. Specifically remembering that I got this email yesterday and not today. Maybe it’s like a reminder. I shrug and wet my toothbrush.

An alarm sounds from my phone as I set it down making me jump. I scrunch up my face remembering I had a headache, but it’s not really bothering me anymore.

I look at the alarm… a reminder I set for myself. But it was supposed to go off yesterday. It did go off yesterday.

Reminder: flight tomorrow leave by 1:30.

I shake my head, lifting my head to the mirror. I look like shit, but I have this whole week let's be honest. Setting my toothbrush down I pull up my calendar. Did I get it wrong or something? No, my flight confirmation definitely says the first.

I glance at the little red dot on the calendar indicating the date. 12/31/2020. Pressing my lips into each other, I raise an eyebrow staring at the screen for a minute. It has to be wrong. I almost laugh to myself. Am I crazy?

I check the time again on my phone. 2:40 Thursday, December 31.

Have I completely mixed up the dates? I could swear that yesterday was New Years Eve. I push my hair back, looking back into the mirror. Though I didn’t watch the ball drop so maybe I was just mistaken.

Just to be sure, I look up the airport’s number, and give them a call. There’s no chance I’m missing the flight. After a confusing phone call they confirm my suspicions. My flight isn’t until tomorrow. Feeling very confused I finish brushing my teeth and start running the shower. How could I have mistaken yesterday for New Years Eve? I guess it happens. But I so clearly remember the date. Hoseok even called me wishing for me to have a good night. Had I imagined that as well?

After being refreshed from the heat of the shower I check my phone’s history. No call from Hoseok, which means I must have been in a daze of grief. Still, It doesn’t feel right. The call is so fresh in my mind.

I look to the clock after cleaning up my room. It was a mess. I hadn’t picked anything up and would have had to pack last minute in the morning if I left it that way. Despite wishing I was on that plane back to Seoul right now. I feel much better than I did yesterday. I should stay productive, keep my mind off things.

Time has gone by particularly slow today. Even after cleaning up myself and packing for tomorrow. I’ve been avoiding my feelings all day. I resorted to playing on Weverse and messing with Duolingo. Despite wanting to write, I knew that I would just dig myself into a hole.

Maybe this time around I’ll call Hoseok. I don’t want to wake him up though. It’s still early and I know he’ll want to sleep in after the late night last night.

‘You awake?’ I text the group chat. Maybe Jin or I don’t know, anyone to save me from my thoughts will answer. Though, maybe it’s a good idea to talk about it with one of them. Maybe they could tell me what to do. Ugh, it’s so confusing. Even though Mara said she never wants to see me again I doubt that she really meant that. Right? I certainly don’t want that to be the last time we ever see one another. I swallow. She was so angry. So upset. Her hands shook as the tears streamed down her face, and she sniffed trying to hold back the storm behind her eyes. And I just stood there. Like a jackass. A deer in headlights. Didn’t cry. I couldn’t, I didn’t want to react, cause I thought she was overreacting. She shouldn’t have cared so much about what I said. It wasn’t meant to make her so upset.

My face finds the palms of my hands. I’m so dumb. What the fuck possessed me to be such an asshole? All she wanted was for me to care and I didn’t. But I do. I really do. My cheeks form a blush as my face heats from the tears. I press into my temples willing myself not to cry. Stupid.

Feeling the buzzing of my phone, I look down. It’s Hoseok, and I huff before answering.

“Hey Tae bear!” He greets happily in my ear. I try to smile but I just want to be with him and not on this dumb call. Instead of being alone I wish I was home.

My eyes start to water and a horrible feeling starts crawling up my throat. I know that if I try to speak I’ll just…

“Are you there?”

I swallow, trying to push back this feeling. But I can’t, It’s pushing back. Tears prick at my eyes, and I just want Hoseok to be here to hold me. Despite trying so hard to hold the tears in, the feeling overwhelms me and washes over me. I heave out a hard sob. Revealing a feeling I had been holding back all day. My breaths are fast and choppy as the tears roll, and I cling to the phone curling my knees into my abdomen.

“Tae… Are you okay?” He sounds worried. I try to slow my breaths and answer him but I can’t. It just. I squeeze my fists. I hate this feeling.

The stream of tears doesn’t stop as I hug myself closer. “Sorry…” I barely hiccup out.

“Taehyung are you okay? Are you hurt? What’s happening?” I shake my head, pressing my eyes into my knees. The tears soak at my pants and I take a deep breath, sighing out slowly to try and relax.

“I’m sorry Hobi…” I sniffed, should have figured that would have happened. Wiping away at my face with my shirt sleeves, I start to explain. “Mara and I... it’s over.” I bite my cheek to hold my composure.

“Tae what happened?” he asks, sounding confused. Great, I shake my head. I just want to be with him. I don’t want to have to deal with this phone call. “I told her she doesn’t do enough.” I deadpan, taking in my own words myself. “I said that.” My heart twists, causing more tears to wring out from my eyes. Knowing now how it made her feel. Coming from the mouth from someone she loves. I meant it lightheartedly, but that’s no excuse now. I know her better than that. She does more than enough. God I hope she knows that. I hope that’s why she screamed at me. “What do you mean?” He practically shouts, but I can tell he’s trying to remain calm. “What happened? That doesn’t make any sense. When?”

I sigh, “Like a week ago…”

He interrupts before I can continue, “Where are you? Why didn’t you call?”

“I’m fine, I’m at a hotel and I’m flying back tomorrow.”

He sighs, “What happened? You guys…”

“It was dumb. I said something dumb.” I groan, pushing my hair out of my face. “It just spiraled after that cause we were drinking and I thought she was overreacting cause I didn’t mean what I said.” Hobi listens as I go on, “ I could tell that it upset her but I didn’t care, cause I didn’t mean it like that. I should have immediately apologized. No. I shouldn’t have said it at all.”

“Why don’t you call her and tell her this?”

I shake my head knowing he can’t see me. “She said she doesn’t want to be with me another year of her life.” It takes a lot to swallow that down. I really toppled the jenga tower. Instead of fixing the problem all I did was be inconsiderate and ruin everything. I’d like to blame the alcohol but it’s far too late for that. Not that she would believe me but truly it was a joke. My shoulders fall, a misunderstanding that I was too petty to reverse.

“Oh.” He says plainly, leaving both of us in silence. Damn. Now I feel like shit. I should have waited to tell him. Now he’s just gonna worry too much. I could have waited to tell him.

“Sorry, I’m fine really I’ll be coming home tomorrow. I just want to be with you guys again.”

Hoseok sighs, “Tae don’t say you’re fine if you’re not... It’s okay, you’ve been with Mara over two years. You’re definitely not going to be fine.” A hot tear runs down my cheek, and I can tell my face is swollen. “Why don’t you stay on the phone with me and later all of the guys and us will be there for the ball drop.”

“No, no…” I mutter, knowing that they’ll all just worry their heads off. “I’ll wait to talk to the others when I get home. I think I just want to sleep early and get this day over with.” What a hell of a way to start the year, I sigh.

“Do you want to stay on the call?” He asks, and I really contemplate this one for a while.

My breathing is shaky as I agree, “Just till I fall asleep, thanks hyung.”

I slowly open my eyes, crusty, and still swollen from last night. The hotel room is lit up around the curtains. My alarm didn’t go off again? My hand wanders to the nightstand to pick up my phone.

3:00 pm. My eyes widen and my heart jumps up with me in bed. Are you fucking kidding me? How in the hell did I sleep that long? Oh, God. There’s literally no way I’d make the flight. Why didn’t my alarms work? I stare at the time, wishing it would magically change to a couple hours earlier. How is it already the afternoon? Was I really that tired?

Not even bothering to stand I press my cheek into my palm. What the fuck? My teeth grind together. Why? After all of this shit. Why now? Can’t I just have one God damn easy day?

Is it possible to cancel my flight ticket this late? I should at least try. Maybe there will be some open tickets on a later flight. Though I highly doubt it as it’s New Year’s day and everyone is going home. God, I’ll be lucky to find a flight this week at all, I barely found this one.

On my lap my phone pings. I look down expecting maybe Hoseok.

Mara… Can I call you?

Immediately my stomach begins to spin. What could she have to say to me? I try to relax as I stare at the text. She’s already said the worst so it can’t be anything bad? Even if she tried apologizing I just... I fucked up. Would she forgive me?

After a moment I text her back, now anxiously awaiting her call. I hope she wants to talk it over. I hope that I can apologize. I hope she didn’t mean what she said. The phone rings, but I give it a moment before I answer. Stupid. I don’t want to seem desperate, but I am.

“Hey this is so out of nowhere but what day is it?” She says, sounding completely normal. Like we had just been talking not that long ago. Like we had spent Christmas and this entire week together. What day is it? That’s what she's calling for?

I stifle a sigh, glancing at my phone’s calendar, “What do you mean? It’s the fi…” The phone says the same thing it did yesterday. 12/31/20. “No way…”

She gives an exhausted laugh. “I am going crazy over here… I’ve celebrated New Years’ twice, and this morning my dad asks if I’m ready for 2021. Please tell me I’m crazy.”

“Uh that's strange,” I scratch my head. Holy shit does that mean the other day I hadn’t been imagining it? That I really had already been through the 31st. Today is the third New Years’ Eve. “I… I don’t know what to say other…”

“Damn. I’m sorry Tae. I shouldn’t have called. This was dumb and I sound so stupid. I’m sorry I should leave you be…” I shake my head as if she could see, “hey, wait, wait, wait. You didn’t let me finish. Genuinely the same thing has happened to me but I thought I was just mistaken because I went to sleep early.”

She huffs, laughing out of relief, “Ha, I thought I was still drunk from the night before…”

“Sooo, what does this even mean?” I ask knowing she doesn’t know the answer.

“Well, my parents don’t seem to notice so I don’t really know.”

“Hoseok is the same way…” I add, wondering if he’ll call me again today. Shit does this mean I still have a flight tomorrow? If tomorrow ever comes. What the fuck.

“Sorry again, I don’t really know why I called you…” I frown at her words, “I… I guess you’re the only other person I could really ask.” Nothing makes any sense, and my head starts to pound from my thoughts jumbling in my head.

“It’s okay, I… don’t mind.” I cringe, unsure of what else to say. She doesn’t respond right away, probably thinking the same thing. It’s a heavy moment. There’s so much to say but neither of us are speaking. Even though she isn’t saying anything I can only imagine how she looks. She’s probably curled up on the couch in her pj’s, probably making the same face I am. Just sad. Which is dumb, if we’re both sad then obviously the argument shouldn’t have happened.

“Well, if this happens again I guess we are just fucked.” She kind of laughs, making me smile, but my face drops again as she continues, “I’ll leave you be then… Happy New Year’s Tae.”

“Mara…” The buzz of the phone line lets me know she hasn’t hung up. I close my eyes, trying to formulate my thoughts before I open my mouth. “I’m sorry.” I shake my head, feeling stupid, “You are more than enough, I…” My words get caught in my throat and I can’t finish my sentence.

“Me too.” She mutters.

I sniff, “Can we talk… like in person.” “I’ll try and tell my parents that talking to you is more important than the ball dropping.” She sighs, and regret washes over me. Her parents probably hate me. They had been in the house during the argument. My eyes fall to the floor. I really just fucked it up. “Where even are you?”

“Oh, this Hilton near a movie theater I think.”

“I shouldn’t have sent you out. I’m really sorry Tae, it’s probably not safe for you to just be in a hotel.”

I almost laugh, at least I know she’s worried about me. “I’m a grown man…”

“Tch I know it’s just… I shouldn’t have let you leave in a city you’ve never been okay.” After another moment, “Well I’ll come later. Just text me your room number yeah?”

I hum in answer and she hangs up. That went a lot better than I expected it to go.

As I step towards the door, I swipe my hands down my pant legs, hoping my hands aren’t sweaty, and hoping I don’t look nervous myself. God that shouldn’t even matter. Clearing my mind, I pull open the door to see Mara standing there awkwardly, with her hands folded together.

“Hey.” I mumble, leaning against the wall to make room for her in the tight entrance, gesturing for her to come in. Her eyes are shielded by her hair as she walks past me, but she wasn’t looking up at me anyway. After closing the door behind us we silently walk over to the couch, each taking a seat. In my lap my hands fumble with each other, and I bite down my lip. I guess it’s a bit more awkward trying to find the right words in person.

I nod a couple times, managing to psych myself up to start the conversation. “I… I’m really sorry Mara.” The words come out breathy as it finally feels right to say them to her.

She lifts her pointed chin to me with a small smile, shaking her head. “I accept your apology, and I’m sorry I took it too seriously.” Her body turns towards mine as she continues, “I’m not even sure why it really got me that mad because it was a dumb joke and it just hurt my feelings.”

“That's all that really matters, I hurt your feelings and that's a good enough reason to apologize.” I finally make eye contact, feeling comfortable talking to her again. Those eyes are just the same as they’ve always been. She’s not cruel. She has a kind heart and her eyes show that. Why am I acting a fool?

“If anyone should apologize…” She sighs looking around the room, “It’s me.” I look down at my hands still thinking. “God.” She sniffs, and I immediately bring my face up to see her crying. “That's such an awful thing to say.” She chokes out, hands covering her face. My mouth drops and I do what I would normally, scooch closer to her and wrap my arm around her. Her head continues to shake in disappointment with herself.

“Listen it’s…”

“No!” She pushes me away, looking at me, her eyes reddening already. “It’s not okay.” Her eyes squeeze shut, tears rolling down her cheek. Even if she did say it, my heart still pangs looking at her like this. “I… I didn’t mean it.” She shakes her head, frantically wiping at her face. “I can’t even believe that those words came out of my mouth.” Her face becomes hidden as she buries it away in her hands.

I turn my head away from her, unsure of what to say. It’s not like I can say I knew she didn’t mean it, because that would be a lie. I still feel like deep down she feels like her life would be easier without me. And honestly it probably would.

“Maybe you’re right though.” I whisper, surprised that the words came out of my mouth. I certainly didn’t mean them to, but they did. They just slipped, like the tears I hadn’t noticed forming in my eyes. I roll my eyes, wiping them away. No use in feeling pitiful. What was I to expect with this lifestyle? Maybe I’m just meant to be alone during this time.

“No… no.” She sniffles, realizing that her words had taken hold. “Oh Tae,” She sobbed, pushing herself into my chest. “I need you in my life. I can’t express how much you mean to me. I really didn’t mean it. I can’t even believe I said that.” Her tears soak through the fabric and I barely hug her back. Even if she wants me back in her life there has to be some backing behind her words. Moments of unhappiness.

“Tae listen to me.” Her fingers grasp at my collar, bringing my attention to her. Her brows were furrowed in anger as she pressed her fists into my chest. “I love you. There’s no one like you. I…”

My eyes roll away from her, doubtful. The tears flowed smoothly now, there was no stopping them. I press my fingers into my eyes, trying to see through the tears. It just doesn’t make any sense why she would say that and not mean it. “T… there has to be a reason.” I hiccup, attempting to push her away from me. “There has to be a reason you said it.” I blubber, hiding my face in my shirt sleeve. Wishing I could stop crying. Wishing I believed her.

I feel her wrapping herself around me, and taking my hands away from my face. Weakly I let them drop to my sides. Letting my lashes stick together by keeping my eyes closed.

“Kim Taehyung.” Her breath is hot on my face, as her soft fingers trace under my eyes. “There’s no reason.” She sniffs, “I love you.” She leans into me, our foreheads touching. “Please don’t keep what I said in your heart.”

My head slides away from her, resting on her collarbone, and taking heavy breaths. How can it not linger? This feeling.

“Please forgive me Tae.” She hugs me closer. Of course I can do that. That isn’t the problem. “I want to go into this year with you… I want to spend all the years of my life with you.” She rambles on, “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” I can’t respond, and so she continues, “please we can fix this…”

I sigh, collecting myself, and taking a deep breath against her skin. “Yeah.” It’s all I can muster, still not sure how I feel. It’s not like I don’t want to be with her, it’s just… Does she really want to be with me? I couldn’t live with the fact that she didn’t want to continue this but did anyway. I’m not even sure how I could forget this. I don’t want it to stay on my mind but I don’t think I’ll be able to help it. Though as we sit here, I’m just grateful to be in her arms.

“Hey” I open sticky eyes, to the someone poking my cheek softly. Mara’s swollen but soft eyes are looking into mine, us still glued to each other on the couch. We must have fallen asleep, I blink a few times, stretching my arm out from under her. She has a small smile, one that makes me melt. Speaking softly she pulls her phone around to me. “Look.” With squinted eyes from the bright screen I see that it's 11:58 pm. She sets the phone down, leaning on her hand, “We didn’t miss the ball drop. Do you maybe want to watch it?”

I smile whispering, “I thought you didn’t want to watch it a third time.”

She sits up shrugging, “it’s different this time.” Her eyes find mine, and then she immediately looks away, “Though I doubt this tv gets the right channels.” I shuffle up in my seat as she gets up, rolling her head over her shoulders.

After my mind has adjusted to being awake I stand, following her as she flips the tv on, scanning through the channels, though the time has already turned to 11:59. There's some news channels but they aren't showing the countdown.

“Dangit we are gonna miss it.” She whines, but only looking half upset.

I huff at her pout, quickly pulling up the ball drop on youtube. “See it’s that easy.” 25. 24.

Her teeth show in a smile as she curls around me, watching the ball fall on the tiny little screen. 19. 18. “Can we kiss?” She kinda laughs at herself after asking, her eyes falling to the floor. Though I’m shocked she asked.

“Yeah… of course.” She still seems hesitant, until I set the phone down on the bed, turning my attention completely to her. 10. 9.

She attempts to look in my eyes, but her’s just drag down to my chest once more. “I love you Tae.” 8. 7. My hand finds her chin, pulling it up slightly so our eyes do meet. And the blush forming on her cheeks makes me blush in return. Reminding me of the first time we kissed. 6. 5. I push my forehead onto hers, rubbing circles on her temples. 4. 3.

“I love you too.” 2. 1. And I pull her face into mine, our lips softly clashing. Making me miss her more, and never want to let go. But I do. Breathing softly onto each other’s faces, breaking into smiles.

She looks down to my phone with a grin, pulling it up to my face. “Look! It’s 2021!”

#bts #kim taehyung #kim taehyung is in love #kim taehyung is sad #bts angst #bts fic #bts au #kim namjoon #kim seokjin #park jimin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #jeon jungkook #taehyung smut #taehyung soft #taehyung drabble #bts drabble #taehyung oneshot

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dinoyoongi · 4 years

Text

Confirm or Deny (5)

SYNOPSIS: You’re a member of the rising group FRNZEE. You’ve been dating Namjoon for years when Dispatch releases an article exposing your relationship. Your company confirms the relationship. Big Hit denies it.

PAIRING: Namjoon x Reader

GENRE: Romance, Angst

WARNINGS: Strong language

WORD COUNT: 3503

AUTHORS NOTE: A bit shorter than the others but I felt this was a good spot to end the chapter on. There will only be one more part to this before it’s over! I want to thank everybody for your patience - I’m definitely not as quick a writer as some others on here and when I do sit down to work on this, writer’s block hits me like a garbage truck every time. This chapter is kind of rushed and Namjoon-less but it I hope you’ll all like it just the same! Thanks for all the love. ❤️

___________________________________

BREAKING: Y/N officially departs FRNZEE & terminates contract with Hot Star Entertainment!

After two months of speculation of whether Y/N would return to FRNZEE after being attacked outside the KBS building, it's been confirmed by Hot Star Entertainment that Y/N has officially terminated her contract with the company. Y/N was recently involved in controversy after her company confirmed dating rumors between Y/N and BTS' leader RM that the latter denied. She had been removed from the group's comeback and was on hiatus from all activities when she was attacked by BTS fans outside the KBS building during a taping of Music Bank that she had attended with her manager out of support for her members. Despite official statements being released by both Big Hit Entertainment and RM – who uploaded a handwritten plea on Weverse begging for his fans to stop the bullying – Hot Star Entertainment felt that Y/N's mental health was being compromised and released her from contract.

“Like they give a shit about my mental health,” you snicker sarcastically, dropping your phone a little too forcefully onto the kitchen counter. From your peripheral, you can see your mother's lips turn downwards in disapproval at your foul language but she fortunately chooses not to scold you, recognizing the delicate situation. It's not as if this is a blindside. Nobody was pulling the wool over your eyes right now. You had been aware that they were permanently removing you from the group and from the company only one day after you returned home to Daejeon.

You're only surprised that they waited this long to announce it. You imagine it wouldn't look too good for them if they kicked you out of the group right after you were assaulted – no surprise there. Their image is all they care about.

“Has anyone tried reaching out to you?” your mother asks from the stove, stirring a steaming pot languidly.

Your eyes fall down to your still-lit phone, catching the small red balloon icon that signifies missed notifications. Calls, texts, voicemail, emails; you don't need to open them to see who they're from – you've spent the past week dodging any incoming forms of communication from everyone including your members, your former manager, the CEO of Hot Star, numbers that you don't recognize that you assume to be reporters and even all seven members of BTS.

Out of all the names that showed up on the screen on your phone, Namjoon's appeared the most.

His unread messages and unopened voicemails feel like an anchor on your chest. Is he reaching out to pity you for what happened with his fans? Is he reaching out to get back together with you? Is he reaching out to cuss at you because you dragged his name into your articles again? Is he reaching out to hammer that final nail in the coffin and be done with you for good?

All of these scenarios are equally terrifying so you pretend that the messages don't exist. However, there are times when you miss him so much that your chest physically aches and the thought of loading up your phone's inbox to listen to his voice is so devastatingly tempting. Playing his albums or watching him on YouTube isn't the same. You don't miss RM – you miss Namjoon. Your Namjoon.

You're not completely depriving yourself of him, though. Two months ago, the day of your attack, he posted a message messily scrawled onto a napkin to his Weverse account. Despite his username displaying as RM, your heart can tell just by his words that it's Namjoon. You've stared at the message so many times over the past few weeks that you have the words ingrained into your head.

ARMY,

Today, somebody I care about was seriously injured. I want to deny that our lovely ARMY would do anything to cause harm to other people. That's not Bangtan. That's not what we teach, what we stand for. But that was our logo on their phone cases. That was our lightstick in the pocket of their bags. That was our faces on keychains that hung from their straps. At the risk of upsetting some, I speak on behalf of the rest of the group to say to those who harm other people in the name of Bangtan – both physically and verbally – you are not ARMY. ARMY is better than this. ARMY is too good for this.

Please ARMY, let's always be better.

It's a simple message but one that you know was difficult for him to write. Having known the boys for the majority of their career growth, you know that the admiration they have for their fans is one-hundred percent not an act. Knowing that some of them assaulted you in such a humiliating manner had to have felt like a knife in the gut.

“Nobody,” you lie to your mom who quirks her brows, waiting for your response. “Nobody has tried contacting me at all.”

“When are you going back to Seoul?”

You sigh, dropping your eyes onto the kitchen counter. “Mom, why would I go back to Seoul? There's nothing there for me anymore.”

“What are you going to do then?” your mother asks softly. You hear the spoon she was stirring with drop the table, followed by a heavy sigh. “Is that it? You're done with your music career?”

“It isn't as if my contract just expired and I can shop around for new agencies. I was the center of a very huge scandal. I was the butt of jokes and online bullying for so long. I don't think there's an agency out there that would poke me with a ten foot pole at this point.”

“But you trained for so long. You didn't go to university. Y/N, what -”

Your body slides from the stool, your feet slapping against the linoleum so hard that your mother flinches from the sound. “I'm suddenly feeling kind of sleepy. I'll just go take a nap before dinner.”

She calls your name as you lug yourself upstairs towards your bedroom but you pretend not to hear. You're not angry with her – absolutely not. If you're angry at anything, it's your life. It's this situation. It's the world. It's a fact that most idols audition and join agencies for two things and two things only – money and fame. And while those two things can be really great at times, that's not why you decided to be an idol. You decided to become an idol because, well … there was really nothing else you could do.

Throughout your life, whenever anybody asked you “what do you want to be when you grow up?” you never gave the usual answers that your classmates did – police officers, veterinarians, doctors, lawyers, judges, the president. Your answer from the first time you were asked until the last remained unchanged: an idol. Music was everything to you. There was nothing that you could study for, nothing you could major in that would give you a sense of happiness and fulfillment like music did. Like music still does. It was the upbeat songs, the quirky choreography, the super cute but super outrageous outfits, the camaraderie and bonds formed between group members and the thrill of satisfaction when all of that came together for a comeback. That is what you've always wanted. There was nothing that came even close.

And now that you've had it, now that it's slipped right through your fingers … what do you do? What are you supposed to do with your life?

Heaving yourself onto your bed, you groan in frustration. Your phone chirps from the pocket of your hooded sweatshirt, alerting you to a text message. Waving the device in front of your face, you sigh when you see Ji-na's name.

Ji-na: please be strong. keep your head up. don't skip meals. i love you and i'm sorry.

Your chest throbs are you reread the words again. And then for a third time. If you were being honest with yourself, you stopped being angry with Ji-na and the rest of the group the moment you arrived home. If you were to put yourself in their shoes – would you have reacted the same way? An idol's career is already typically short; seven or eight years if you're lucky. Would you be willing to risk that for another person? The knee-jerk response might come easy to some but only those who have been in your shoes, trained as long and hard as you and your members did, can answer that question. But despite not holding onto any anger, you can't erase the betrayal from your heart. Ji-na was more than just a member of your group. Ji-na was your best friend. Ji-na was the hand that you reached for when FRNZEE was getting mobbed at airports. Ji-na is your first dibs sleeping buddy when you had to pair up in hotel rooms. There was very little that you couldn't and wouldn't tell Namjoon but if there was – Ji-na was the one you confided in. Ji-na was everything.

And going through this without her and Namjoon seems incredibly impossible.

Your eyes leave the phone, slipping over to the corner of the room where your suitcase and bags are haphazardly strewn about as you were too lazy to commit to unpacking. The one thing propped neatly against the wall is a sparkly, medium-sized gift bag, intricately tied with rainbow ribbons. Ji-na's birthday is coming up in week but you've had her present ready for months. Instead of leaving it at the dorms, you brought it home with you. At the time, you were so caught up in your anger and woes and self-misery that you had every intention of sending it back to the store once you settled in but now?

It seems you have a present to hand deliver.

_______________________________________

- TWO WEEKS LATER -

You've only been gone for two months but it seems like Seoul has already changed so much. The first big difference? There's now a doorman stationed in the lobby of the dorm apartments. You can tell that he recognizes you immediately by the way his cheeks flush red but he still refuses to let you go any farther, keeping you a safe distance away from the elevator. You get it, you really do. He was probably hired to keep out nosy reporters and fansites and journalists but knowing Hot Star the way that you do now, you have no doubt that he was also explicitly warned not to let you in. Sighing, you pull your phone from your bag, typing a few quick words to Ji-na before hitting send.

It only takes three minutes for the elevator to open with a loud ding and a flash of pale skin is hurtling itself at you. Ji-na wraps her arms around your neck so tightly that you cough from the pressure until she loosens her grip. You try to ignore the moisture that you see building in her eyes when she pulls away.

Grabbing her hand, she tugs you toward the elevator. “Come on. We have some talking to do.”

“Ah -” the doorman interjects, nervously stepping in front of you. “I'm sorry, Ji-na. She's on the no clearance list. She can't go up.”

Ji-na scoffs. “Even with my permission? Even though I'm bringing her up with me?”

He grimaces. “I'm sorry. It's my job.”

“It's okay, Ji-na. I just wanted to drop this off anyway,” you say, thrusting the bag in her direction. She stares at it for a few hard seconds before hesitantly accepting it. “Happy Birthday. If you're ever near Daejeon, let me know, okay?”

You turn on your heel to leave but a painful grip on your hand stops you. Ji-na twirls you around to face her, like a scene straight out of a cheesy drama. She's toe to toe with the doorman, facial features locked in what you know is supposed to be intimidation but on Ji-na it just looks like an angry kitten.

“If you won't let her upstairs, let's compromise. Your office?” she quirks an eyebrow, head jutting toward the door behind his podium. He contemplates this offer for a moment before relenting with a sigh, dropping a pair of keys into her hand.

“Don't tell your management about this, okay? She's not even supposed to be in the building at all.”

Ji-na throws him an obnoxious salute before yanking you into the room.

_______________________________________

Your heart-to-heart is long and full of anger, accusation, revelations, tears, laughter, giggling and so much more. While you're not ready to completely forgive her for leaving you behind that day, you've accepted the reality that Ji-na is one of the only friends that you have and you're not ready to let her go. She understands your continuing edginess with the situation and promises to do everything in her power to regain your trust and make it up to you.

You expected to leave with a heavier heart than you came with. Instead, most of the weight has lifted.

You only exit the doorman's office after Ji-na receives a text from one of her managers about a project meeting the group has soon. Her arm is around your side as she walks you to the front door, squeezing you tightly. “Please come visit a lot more. We have some off time coming up – would you mind terribly if I came to stay with you in Daejeon?”

You roll your eyes but your smile stays wide. “No, I wouldn't mind terribly. Just give me a heads up so I can stock up on soju and shrimp chips.”

She throws her head back to laugh loudly, bumping her hip to yours as the two of you take a few more steps toward the front door. “Yes! You know me so well! And you also have to make sure that you have tons of-”

“Y/N.”

The voice is jarring but immediately recognizable. Lifting your head, you meet the eyes of your previous manager. The last time you had seen him, he was loading your belongings into the back of a car that would send you right home. He gapes at you, gaze wide and shocked. Behind you, the doorman audibly groans.

“Um, he has nothing to do with this,” you hurriedly declare, throwing your thumb behind you in the groaning man's direction. “He was in the process of kicking me out, I swear. He's very good at his job. You guys should give him a raise. Okay, bye.”

You squeeze Ji-na's hand one final time before moving to scurry out of the building. For the second time today, fingers wrap around your wrist and pull you backward. You sigh as you yank your hand away. “A simple 'wait! stop!' would suffice. Why is everyone so grabby today? Look, I was just dropping off a birthday present for Ji-na. I promise that the doorman didn't let me go upstairs.”

“Y/N, I don't care about the doorman. I have something for you,” he says quickly before reaching into the tote bag that hangs around his shoulder. He rummages somewhat frantically for a few seconds before producing a business card, raising it into the air with pride and beaming as if it was the cure to a zombie outbreak. “You remember me telling you about one of my old co-managers for a different group who quit Hot Star and started working for P NATION?”

Your eyebrows furrow in confusion. This was not the greeting that you expected out of your former manager.

“Um … I think so. He's one of Hyuna's managers now, you said.”

“Yes!” he screeches, his chest heaving as if he has just finished running a marathon. You exchange a glance with Ji-na who looks equally perplexed. “Yes, he works with Hyuna. And he called me last week and said that Hyuna heard about everything that happened to you in the news. And so she started looking you up on YouTube and she thinks you're really talented and wants your contact information.”

It takes a few seconds for your brain to register everything that he has just said considering how quick, breathless and jumbled his words are. Ji-na is elbowing you excitedly in the ribs.

“I've tried asking Hot Star for your address but they wouldn't tell me anything. I was literally coming here to ask Ji-na to try to reach out to you so I could pass the information along but here you are! It's like fate!”

Ji-na throws her elbow much deeper this time, accompanying the jab with a sharp screech. You can see that there's something exciting happening but your brain isn't putting it all together yet.

“Um, why does Hyuna want my contact information? You said she heard about my situation in the news so she must know that I'm not with FRNZEE anymore, right? Or any company, for that matter. We can't collab or anything like that.”

Manager and Ji-na groan in unison, so in sync that it seems rehearsed.

“Y/N, please, are you really this dense? Do I need to dumb this down for you?”

You grimace but bat your eyelashes hopefully. “Would you?”

She sighs, slapping her hands down hard onto your shoulders. “Hyuna was kicked out of Cube for a dating scandal. Psy – who founded P NATION – signed her right after. You were kicked out of Hot Star for a dating scandal. And now Hyuna is contacting you. I mean, I'm just speculating here but there's no way this is a coincidence.”

Wait.

If she's saying what you think she's saying then …

Hyuna wants to contact you … to sign you … to P NATION?

All you were here to do was to drop off Ji-na's birthday present. After this, you were going to stop into a few cosmetic stores to stock up on some harder-to-find products and then treat yourself to a well-deserved oreo bingsu before heading home. Talking to Hyuna – arguably one of the most popular and influential females in the k-pop industry ever – about possibly signing with Psy's new agency was not in the forecast.

Realizing your stunned state, Manager smirks smugly, lifting your hand to drop the business card into before wrapping your fingers around it and letting it fall.

The card feels like fire in your palm.

“Y/N,” Ji-na's voice breaks through your haze. You glance up at her silently, her warm smile only heightening your nervousness. “Go home and call her. Listen to what she has to say or what she has to … offer. Okay? And then call me and tell me every little detail.”

“You guys, that can't be right. Hyuna and Dawn's scandal was different – they both admitted to being in the relationship. Nobody bullied or laughed at them. I … I'm a joke. Why would P NATION want to sign me? Do you think they're just going around plucking up poor little k-pop idols who are mistreated by their labels? No, they're smarter than that. They-”

A hand – belonging to either Manager or Ji-na, you're not sure which one – whacks you upside the head. The strength of the blow is painful but it has its desired affect – it shuts you right up.

“Stop it, Y/N,” Manager scolds. “What happened to you wasn't fair and we all know it. You worked so hard for FRNZEE and maybe this is your good karma. Maybe this is ...”

“Fate!” Ji-na squeals hysterically.

___________________________________

An hour later, you're sitting in the corner of the cafe by yourself, a heaping bowl of bingsu untouched in front of you. Instead, your eyes focus on the card that you've set down onto the table. You wonder if this is a prank; if someone from Hot Star is getting one last act of cruel revenge on you before parting ways completely.

But what if it's not?

What if this is what was always supposed to happen? Everything that has happened to you, everything that you've been through, everything that you've lost … was it for this? Half of you jitters in happiness at the prospect of being signed to a label that houses some of the greats – Psy, Hyuna, Jessi. But the other half of you mourns what you had to give up for this.

Namjoon.

Was this opportunity supposed to make you grateful for losing him? Are you supposed to feel like your breakup served some kind of purpose now?

It didn't. Most of the happiest moments you can remember are either with Namjoon or because of Namjoon. If the choice was your idol career or Namjoon then …

Why do you have to make a choice? Why can't you have both? Why is that wrong?

For the first time, you shift your eyes away from the P NATION logo and onto the phone number scrawled messily onto the bottom of the card.

Lifting your phone, you dial with trembling fingers.

< -- PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER -- >

#bts #bts fanfic #namjoon #kim namjoon #RM #rm fanfic #namjoon fanfic #bts namjoon #namjoon x you #namjoon x reader #rm x you #rm x reader #namjoon angst #rm angst #namjoon imagine #rm imagine #bts imagine #bts x you #bts x reader

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allapplesarered · 4 years

Text

Tina Loves Bangtan

Chapter 1: Tina loves Bangtan

pairing: female OC x Taehyung

genre: real life au, angst

contains: self/body image issues, narcissistic and insecure oc, so much pining for taehyung that it’s almost sad (no it’s definitely sad), and a bitter-sweet ending

warnings for the whole fic: self-hate, existentialism, anxiety, depression, OCD, dark themes, angst, unrequited/one-sided love, obsession, loneliness, sexual fantasies.

summary: Tina loves Bangtan. Tae, especially. So much so that she has regular dreams about him, in which he is as disintersted in her as he would be in real life.

Tina loves Bangtan. She loves all the members and she nags her parents to buy her a new piece of their merch every other month. She has a collection of photo cards of every member in order of the fanchant, except for Tae – Tae goes before everyone else. Because Tae is her bias. Sure, other ARMYs may call her a solo stan and a saesang, a fake fan and worse, but Tina has never really interacted with other ARMYs on the internet. Yes, she has ARMY friends, but they don’t know her. They will never know her. The way in which she feels about Tae will go unnoticed as long as she can keep it up. But her desires are creeping up as of late, so not accidentally screaming the next time she open up a weverse notification and holding back from whispering his name may become a challenge. Tina has a plan.

Sunday mornings are a blessing for Tina. Living alone in general makes all the difference when you’ve spent a lifetime battling for your parents’ attention with 5 other siblings. It’s okay, though. She was their favourite. She went to the top university with a promise to become a lawyer by the end of her years in here. Needless to say, Tina doesn’t fight her fate anymore. As long as she can do whatever the hell she wants when no one can see her.

Tina steps over a pile of clothes that almost reached her knees with difficulty. She really needs the bathroom.

Once inside, she is immediately greeted with an enormous face of Tae staring at her with a bored expression. Sometimes she forgets she begged her mom for a shower curtain of Tae’s face the size of her own self and it startles her at night when she’s too lazy to reach for the light. She sets the toilet seat down, sits down and sighs in relief.

A loud rush of water disrupts the comfortable silence of her apartment and after a moment, she’s met with herself in the mirror. Straw hair and big bags under her eyes were her signature look especially in the midst of a holiday break. The various post-it notes desperately hanging onto the mirror were starting to curl up on the corner. “Love yourself.” “Don’t be trapped in someone else’s dream.” She rubs a hand down the side of her face.

She didn’t go to Italy with her family this year. No way is she sharing her space with 5 annoying little teenage boys and girls in one van, all the while trying to look like she’s having fun for her parents’ sake. On the contrary, a holiday break meant she can finish up the last 5 fanfictions she’s been holding off because of studies and watch as many k-dramas as she possibly can before passing out every single night without any guilt. She loves life.

The kitchen is the same way she left it last night – dishes at nearly every individual surface. A mug on top of the counter, a glass on a window sill, her favourite cup near the grimy, burnt stove. A stack of barely used plates in the sink and dozens of pieces of cutlery inside the cups or laid on top of the tablecloth that has seen better days. Wafts of a certain musty, unpleasantly savoury smell reached her nose in waves. She will have to do something about the pig’s sty that is her kitchen and soon. Breakfast first, though.

A quick glance through the cupboards told her she will have to do go to the store if she wanted to eat anything remotely nutritional. Three rice cakes and mustard that she’s pretty sure is out of date for weeks now isn’t what she imagines is nutritional. Going to the store would require her to change out of her pyjamas, which is a glorified name for her stained white t-shirt and underwear, and get into actual clothes, wear actual shoes and walk outside where people are. She hates life.

Tina reaches for her phone for a break from reality. Immediately, she finds all the content she missed while asleep. Ooh, a new interview. Absently, she wonders what ARMYs will decide to hyper-fixate on next. It’s probably Kook’s English or Sarcastic Joon since we get a new edition of each with each comeback in every new interview. Seriously, when will these interviewers learn? Secretly, Tina hopes to see Tae do something incredible and make the news headlines in her google explore page. Tae deserves the spotlight way more than he gets. What’s with him lately? Tina shakes her head and focuses on reading through the comments section of the interview while Hobi screams yet another American artist’s name excitedly into her earphones in response – another collab question. Pathetic.

Suga kookies:7 – 31 minutes ago (edited)

Uwaa yoongi looks so handsome pls notice him he baby

Edit: thanks for 1.3k likes guys ARMY IS THE BEST LOVE YOU BTS <333

Tina rolls her eyes. God, what will she receive for her 12th birthday? These types of fans make me wanna puke. They’ll leave as soon as Bangtan do something they dislike and become an anti. Tina seeks comfort in the fact that she’s not like this.

Worldwide shoulders – 24 minutes ago

no one:

literally no one:

me: am i the only one that thinks Tae looks so sad in this?? Please Taetae take care of yourself oppa, WE PURPLE YOU SO MUCH WINTER BEAR!!

Tina evaluates the concoction of carelessly placed words in this comment closely. “Oppa.” Whoever this is needs a better dad. Tina snorts at her hilarious joke. Ew, seriously. If you use the o-word unironically, get out of my sight. But Tina agrees with this comment and she feels her stomach turn cold. Tae does look so sad and so unnecessarily serious in this video. And in all the other videos since this comeback. She hears him make a silly voice while his eyes carry a look that tell her he’s about to break down. Laughter erupts within the members around him, and his gaze falls on the floor. Tina exits the video. She needs to buy food. Now.

#oc x taehyung #original female character #taehyung #real life au #first fanfic #be gentle #oc #bts #bts tae #bts taehyung #kim taehyung #ocd #social anxiety #dream au #how do you do tags pls help me tumblr

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