#his kryptonite and only fledgling

[saw3amanda]

miss missing you (now and then)

Clark collapsed against a parapet, catching his breath. Technically speaking, Clark never had to catch his breath, but it was nice to sit after the exertion of going up against Luthor. Luckily, there had been no kryptonite involved, but Clark had called in Batman just in case and wasn’t complaining about the extra help.

“You alright?” A modulated voice rumbled next to him.

Clark looked over to see Batman leaning against the short wall a few feet away from him. The two had only been working together for a short year (after a few very tense weeks of getting to know each other), and it was nice to know that Batman cared enough to ask.

“Yeah, just tired, I guess. Didn’t get much sleep last night.” Clark replied, getting to his feet and looking out at Metropolis from his vantage point. They were standing atop a dilapidated building, half destroyed and condemned from some battle months ago. The sun was just starting to set, streaking across the sky in yellow and gold, and the air was beginning to cool. Clark could feel the last rays of sunlight stretching to meet him.

Batman made a brief, inquisitive noise, and Clark had to play back their conversation to remember what he had said. 

“Oh, just had uncomfortable dreams, I guess. Not very conducive to a good night’s rest.” He laughed gently.

“Hm.”

Clark looked over and saw Batman still staring at him, as if he was waiting for him to continue. 

This was new, the active interest in each other’s lives. For the majority of their relationship, they contacted each other out of necessity. Clark’s comm would only ping in emergencies, when Batman had too much to handle (not that he would admit that), or he had new information for a case. But in months, they had started lingering when the battle was over. One of them would escort the other back to their respective city, carrying on a conversation in soft tones, or they would take a moment to recuperate with the other close by. Clark was never one to allow silence to reign for long, and he drew Batman into conversation again and again. When the recap of the mission had dwindled, Clark would start talking about anecdotes from his day, or point out areas he’d explored in his city. Batman eventually graduated from mumbled sounds of agreement to full sentences. 

It still managed to surprise him when Batman seemed interested in what he had to say instead of tolerating it, but he was beginning to appreciate their fledgling friendship. A bit too much, if he was honest. These inconvenient feelings kept cropping up, but Clark had gotten well versed in choking them down. So, if Batman wanted to continue talking, Clark certainly wouldn’t stop it. 

“Do you ever dream about someone you shouldn’t?” Clark asked, staring off at the city skyline. 

He could hear Batman walk closer and stand beside him, facing out just as Clark was.

“No.”

“Yeah, I guess not. I can’t even imagine you dreaming. You just stoically fall asleep, wake up two hours later, and you’re set, right?”

A muffled noise of amusement came from his right, and Clark had to stifle a grin.

“Exactly.”

“Well, for the rest of us,” Clark’s smile faded. “Dreaming can be more trouble than it’s worth.”

Clark allowed a warm quiet to blanket the moment, and reveled in it. 

“Who was it?” Batman asked. Clark almost jumped at his gravelly voice breaking the silence. 

Clark debated his next words. He could be honest, like he desperately wanted to be. He could feel the words swimming around his lungs, jumping through his veins as they had all day. But how much would be too much? What could he give away about himself and still feel confident in his secret identity? 

He could trust Batman; he knew this. They were in the exact same position, and he knew that if he asked, Batman wouldn’t dig too much into it. Besides, honesty was the foundation of any good friendship and he did want to talk about this.

“You’re gonna laugh,” Clark chuckled weakly, nerves roiling in his stomach, just like they did whenever he talked about him. “But, Bruce Wayne.”

A weird, hacking sound started, and Clark looked around to see where it was coming from. He turned to Batman to see the man furiously coughing into his elbow. He would laugh at how strangled the cough had sounded through the modulator, but he was more worried than anything at the moment. 

“Are you ok?” He said hurriedly.

“Fine.” Batman said as he straightened up and looked back over to Clark. He cleared his throat one last time. “Bruce Wayne?”

Clark felt his blood rise to his cheeks in a light flush and scratched the back of his neck.

“Yeah, we actually一” Clark paused and made a quick decision. “I'm going to tell you something because I trust you not to look into it. I know you well enough that you wouldn't compromise my identity.”

He looked over, and Batman nodded, a slight smile on his lips. Clark threw a nervous grin back, and took a deep breath.

“Back in high school, Bruce and I…dated.” Clark said. He wanted to turn to Batman to see his reaction, but stared resolutely at the fading sun. “He had moved to my town to get out of the city, and we just clicked .”

Batman hummed a short, contemplative noise and Clark continued.

“We were together for a good while actually. Of course we weren't out to anyone but a select few, but we still made it work.” Clark said with a wry turn of his lips.

“What happened?” Batman asked, his voice as soft as the modulator would allow.

Clark let out a sigh. He had told this story so many times that he almost had a script for it. But this wasn’t just anyone asking about his first love. He didn’t have to run his normal lines. 

“He left. Isn’t that always how it always goes?”

Clark finally glanced over at Batman, who was looking down at his folded hands on the parapet ledge. The gloved fingers interlapped evenly, creating a neat pattern of shadows in the fading light. Batman finally turned to face him, and Clark couldn’t quite identify what the strange set of his mouth meant.

“So,” Batman cleared his throat. “The dream.”

Clark laughed a little, surprised.

“You are uncharacteristically interested in this, B.” He said, shaking his head.

Batman stayed silent, the whisper of gloved hands unfolding the only sound to be heard. He braced his hands on the ledge instead and Clark admired his flexed arms for a moment, then shook his head slightly. 

“It was nothing really that upsetting. He popped up as people do in dreams, and we just talked. We made fun of each other like we used to.” Clark sighed. “We actually apologized to each other too, I think.”

Clark let the melancholy of his hopeless dream wash over him for a moment. It hurt when he woke up not because it didn't happen, but because it would never have the chance to.

“You apologized?” Batman asked.

“Yeah, well, I've said and done some things after the break up that I'm not proud of. We met up twice afterwards, a year or two later and I just…fucked it up.” Clark replied. Shame flooded through him as he remembered every misstep he took after Bruce left. “I think I ruined any chance we had of building a friendship. Last time we talked, he essentially told me that we shouldn't anymore.”

Clark looked up and saw Batman turned to him. It was nice to say this aloud, he realized. 

“But it's ok, really. I don't blame him and it's probably better if we don't talk,” Clark continued. He felt like each word that slipped into the air between them carried a weight that had been released from his chest. He was lighter, despite the difficult topic. “It's just a shame, because I have so much I want to say to him. But I've made peace with the fact that I won't be able to.”

The last golden fingers of sunlight had faded into the horizon, and the two were trapped in the moment between night and day. It washed the city in purple, and Clark watched as street lamps flickered on.

Clark looked over to Batman and studied the way the shadows fell across his face. 

“I really appreciate you listening. I didn't realize一” 

“What would you say to him?” Batman interrupted. The words seemed to rush out of him, like they couldn't get out fast enough. “If you could see him, what would you say?”

Clark hummed thoughtfully. He didn't understand Batman's urgency, but the moment felt important somehow. He knew he needed to word what he said next correctly, because he wouldn't be able to take them back.

“I would tell him that I still think of him when I listen to Fall Out Boy, which is a shame because they're all I've been listening to for the past week,” Clark started. “He used to love them. I actually learned the words to Sugar, We're Going Down to impress him. 

“I would ask if we could just forget these past few years. If we could just pretend we haven't talked since we broke up.  I have made so many mistakes, and I've fucked up so, so many times. And I'm sorry.”

Clark took a breath before continuing, chest stretching the fabric of his uniform tight as he inhaled.

“I would tell him that I've dated four people in my life, and he was the only one I ever loved. I have been chasing that feeling for years, and he did it without even trying. And sometimes, I even miss the heartbreak. I miss feeling that strongly about someone. We fit together in a way that I've never experienced before or since, and goddamn if that doesn't make me angry. Goddamn if I didn't wish I loved someone like I loved him.

“And I wouldn't say this because I still wanted him. I wouldn't say this because I missed him. I'm not even sure if I do, to be honest. I certainly miss what we had, and even the people we used to be. But maybe the person I miss isn't so different from the person he is now. The point, if I ever said this, is that I still think about him sometimes. It's that he still pops up in my dreams every so often, and that he used to make me incandescently happy.”

Clark laughed, a short bitter thing. He looked down at his hands gripping the concrete of the parapet, cracks beginning to spread through the stone. Batman stayed silent.

“I wish I didn't fuck up for years just because I missed him, and I wish I didn't ruin the friendship we could've had.” Clark said softly. He finally turned to Batman. “But wishing never did anything.”

Batman stared at Clark, and for once, Clark wished desperately to see his face. To see his reaction, because reading his emotions through the turn of his lips wasn't enough. 

Clark suddenly felt exposed under the rising moon. He had said too much; he had been too honest. Batman and him had just started to be friends, and here Clark goes, whining about a love long ago.

He coughed, trying to ease the embarrassment in his chest.

“Anyway, it doesn't matter much now.” He said into the stillness of the air.

“It does.”

Clark threw on a weak grin.

“That’s nice of you, B, but it’s ok. I’m alright with this.” He took a few steps back from the short wall, looking one last time at the glowing city lights. “It’s getting late. Thanks for your help today. And for listening.”

Clark scrubbed a hand down his face. He was exhausted. That had to be the reason he rambled incessantly to Batman. He began to rise slowly, feet only a few inches off the ground, when a gloved hand reached out and grabbed his forearm.

“B?”

“Clark, wait.” Batman said, looking directly into his eyes. Clark dropped instantly to the ground, boots scratching slightly against the concrete. 

“What did you say?” Clark asked with wide eyes. He could feel his hands start to shake.

Batman stepped closer with determination written on his lips.

“Clark, I’m sorry.”

He started to back away from Batman, each step unsteady. How did he know? How long has he known?

“How did you..” He said, voice shaking slightly. “How do you know my name?”

Batman didn’t answer. He started reaching behind his head with both hands and Clark barely registered the snick of a latch opening before he saw the cowl fall away.

“Clark,” Bruce Wayne said, standing in full Batman regalia. “I’m sorry.” 

[superalphabatman]

The ‘I’m 100 pages into the Superbat tag on AO3′ Rec List Pt1

for @robin-jasontodd

A Game of Misunderstandings - JustGettingby

Things were going well for Bruce until some hot-shot reporter learns his identity. Now, he'll have to do what he can to keep his secret quiet. Even if that means joining the game of blackmail that Clark Kent started.

A Name He’ll Earn - dippkip

When the gods of Krypton uncover a plot to lay waste to humanity, a champion is chosen to rally the people and defend the mortal realm. However, the solution sits ill with Kal-El, who feels it would be more helpful to offer direct aid. Disguising himself as a mortal, he descends from Krypton to fight alongside this champion, but finds he must contend with more amorous distractions than he anticipated. This king of Gotham is a legend in the making, indeed.

As We Grow - butterflyslinky

Clark Kent is a farmer deep in debt to Lex Luthor.

Bruce Wayne is a billionaire with seven children and no luck in love.

But their families have a scheme to get them together and hopefully make life a little bit better.

Causality - whiteroses77

A tragedy befalls the Earth, and Superman decides he needs to do something about it, but he needs Batman to fulfil that wish. But how will their efforts affect Clark and Bruce’s lives?

Conviction - whiteroses77

Batman volunteers for a mission to find something that has been lost. It will take him to an unfamiliar and formidable place. Will it be worth it when he finds something that makes him question himself?

Everyone Knew Eventually - SoraHoshi

It took a little indirect help from a couple of embarrassing incidents, his ex, and his best friend’s son.

failsafe - lesbianchrispine (Sher_locked_up)

They’re each other’s kill switch; but, like, in a totally romantic way.

fallin’ for him was like fallin’ from grace - Resacon1990

“But Bruce isn’t gay?” Clark points out, and there’s an awkward moment of everyone clearing their throats and avoiding Clark’s eyes until he turns to stare at Bruce. “Are you?”

Bruce blinks for a moment before offering a sheepish smile. “I’m not... not?” he offers, and Clark feels his brain just about short-circuit at the news.

Or, five times Clark finds himself falling for Bruce, and the one time he does something about it

Forfeit - whiteroses77

Superman and Batman have to deal with the consequences when they have a really bad day after the JLA have a showdown. But will Clark and Bruce manage to salvage some happiness from someone else’s mistake.

grasp his heart (once and for all) - liodain

Bruce Wayne doesn’t believe in fate. 

Helpless - sofia_gigante

When a near-death experience brings Superman’s desire for Batman out into the open, a dark and surreal relationship grows between the two heroes. However, when Clark’s obsession with Batman’s identity collides with Bruce’s trust issues, their games come to a bitter end. Months later, Clark is distracted from his heartbreak by the assignment of a lifetime—an interview with billionaire philanthropist Bruce Wayne. Unaware of their shared past—or secret identities—Clark and Bruce's mutual attraction grows into a fledgling relationship. Faced with the potential for something real, they both must decide if they can still live double lives—or if the cost of secrecy will be too high to pay.

In every sense of the word - bobafiend

Superman could not find it in himself to get along with Batman. Every conversation between the two was an argument, and not even Wonder Woman could force the two to make peace.

At least everything was going well at work. Bruce Wayne had recently bought the Daily Planet, and Clark was finding himself rather taken with the man.

Alternatively titled "Why Wonder Woman is on the verge of losing her fucking mind."

Incurable - susiecarter

Clark comes back a little bit wrong—or maybe more than a little bit. He poses a danger to anybody close to him, in more than one way. There's only one person he can think of who's learned enough about Kryptonian biology to help him and isn't currently in prison; and Wayne owes him, anyway. At least he won't have to feel guilty about lashing out anymore, if he's doing it at the guy who tried to kill him.

Except "lashing out" doesn't really cover it, after a while—and maybe Wayne's in over his head just as far as Clark is.

Infection - rebooting

Rather than being killed by Doomsday, Clark is badly wounded, and infected with kryptonite that has been corrupted via Doomsday's blood. In the aftermath of the fight, with nobody realising the extent of the damage, Clark and Bruce attempt to build something like a working friendship, with Bruce shrugging off the alterations in Clark's behaviour as post- traumatic reaction from having been nearly killed, until Clark, who has been giving in to urges to take what he really wants regardless of the cost to other people, decides to take something he's been wanting since the fight: Batman.

Like a Steel Trap - missigma

A young Bruce Wayne travels to Metropolis to try to gather more information about a mysterious new hero, Superman. After his first attempt—questioning reporter Clark Kent in his hotel room—proves fruitless, he returns to his original plan to meet the man himself. Long aware of a kidnapping plot, Bruce allows himself to be taken captive in hopes that Superman will rescue him. While Superman does make an appearance, nothing else goes according to plan.

Like Hand and Glove - megamindful

Bruce Wayne doesn’t have a soulmate. He’s been bare-wristed all his life. Chosen by fate to be alone... but fate never planned on Clark Kent.

Loss of Time - Lopithecus

"Let's listen to Flash, you said. I'm sure it'll be fine, you said." Batman's teeth are starting to clench. "Flash knows what he's talking about, it'll be easy and done with before you know it, you said." He's glaring and clenching his jaw so hard that Clark is almost afraid he's going to break his teeth. "Does this seem easy to you Superman, because it certainly doesn't to me?"

After a mission gone wrong, Bruce is left in a state that Clark really has no idea what to do with. Clark struggles to take care of his friend while battling his feelings for him along with trying to keep him safe from people who want to hurt him.