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#his respect for Ollie went down after Ollie’s less successful playboy billionaire act
deadsetobsessions · 29 days
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“I can’t believe you’re squatting in an occupied house, Danny. That’s… actually isn’t that also breaking and entering? That’s a crime, isn’t it?”
“One, at least I don’t have to pay rent and/or utilities. Two, Tim let me stay. And three, I’m a vigilante. Breaking and entering is like the basics of being one. Also, they’re paying me now. This is a legit job now!”
Jazz sighed and tucked her hair behind her ear. “Whatever, dumbass. Where is Tim, anyways?”
“He’s in bed.”
“Really?” Jazz raised an eyebrow and rested a hand on her hip. “Then what’s that?”
Danny whirled around, making eye contact with a frozen Tim.
“Ahah-”
Danny groaned, cutting Tim’s awkward laughter and no-doubt bullshit excuse.
“Kid, Tim, we talked about this.”
“It’s for the aesthetics!” Tim protested, the argument well worn, but obligingly stepping away from the window sill.
Danny shot Jazz a disgruntled look when she muttered, “Well, doesn’t that sound familiar.”
“It’s a school night, Tim.” Danny crossed the room, ushering Tim away from the door. The halfa could probably put down professional babysitter on his resume. If he could handle Tim “climb out of windows” Drake and Tim “sleeps in hard to reach places” Drake in the same day, he could handle anything.
Tim puffed up, like a disgruntled kitten. “Robin gets to go out on a school night! And he’s my age! Kinda! And at least I’m not fighting criminals!”
Again, this is an argument they’ve had multiple times.
“Not for a lack of trying,” Danny muttered, rolling his eyes when Jazz snickered. He made the mistake of looking down at Tim’s convincing little sad kitten act and sighed. “Alright, alright. We get two hours of batwatching, then you go to sleep.”
“Deal!” Tim cheered. Jazz grinned, mouthing ‘weak’ at Danny, who promptly made like his high school self and ignored her.
“Go get your jacket. And some thicker socks, you’re gonna freezing out there.”
“Okay!!”
When Tim was out of earshot, excitedly thundering down the lavish hallway, Jazz tilted her head back and laughed.
“Oh, shut up.”
“How the tables have tabled, huh, Danny?” Jazz snickered.
“You think you got jokes,” Danny pointed at her with a new mug of coffee. “Laugh it up, but don’t forget that you’re his older sister now too.”
Jazz paled. “Oh, shit.”
“Yeah, that’s right. Now you gotta deal with two of us!”
“Two of who?” Tim returned, bundled up in a fancy puffy jacket. Jazz cooed at him, kneeling down to zip his jacket up. Danny, echoing her, magically grabbed a scarf and wrapped around Tim.
“Us, her little brothers. Unfortunately, you’re now our little brother and that means Jazz is gonna mother you like you’re a baby duck.”
Danny ducked the half hearted smack Jazz sent his way, grinning at Tim. The kid had a self conscious smile on his face, bashful at the unprecedented (for him) attention and affection. Danny’s smile tightened when Tim looked at Jazz for confirmation (which she gave). If it weren’t for the fact that Tim loved his parents, Danny would have spirited (hah!) the kid away. He’s like a textbook case of neglect. It’s why he keeps trying to sneak out in ways that’ll easily get him caught. He’s trying to test if Danny would get mad and leave-
“Oh my god. I’m turning into you, Jazz.” Danny said, horrified.
“What?” Jazz narrowed her eyes once the statement sunk in. “What’s wrong with being more like me? I can actually process my emotions in a timely manner, thanks.”
Danny, stuck in the horror of understanding someone’s motivations and processing some of his own trauma, shuddered.
Danny picked up Tim and swung him onto his shoulders. “C’mon, Timmy. Let’s get out of here before Jazz gives us germs.”
“Oh, that’s real rich coming from the greasiest vigilante this side of the river.”
“Not true! Green Arrow’s greasier!”
“Eh, he doesn’t count. He’s in Oregon or something, right?”
“Who cares? I wanna see Robin!” Tim wriggled, placing his heavy ass camera on Danny’s head. “He’s a new Robin! The first one moved to Blüdhaven!”
“To be a cop, right?” Danny asked.
“Yeah. It’s… not great. And kinda ironic.”
“ACAB.”
——
Batman snuck closer to the glowing green figure that was glancing around the rooftops. He’s glad he sent Robin home hours ago, because variables in Gotham tended to be dangerous.
He dropped to a crouch behind the figure, who turned around as soon as he did, looking unsurprised. The being had enhanced hearing then, if not enhanced everything else.
“There you are!” The being scowled at him, but Bruce couldn’t detect any actual hostility. Only weariness. “I’ve been looking for you for ages.”
Nevertheless, he hadn’t survived this long by being careless.
“What is your business in Gotham?” He deepened his voice, adding enough gravel to sound mildly threatening.
The being shook their head, white hair unnaturally waving in the air. Like it was under water.
“I live here. I have a bone to pick with you.” Batman loosened his stance, readying to move.
“Can you keep Robin in on school nights?! If you can’t, can’t you make him go home sooner? My kid brother keeps trying to sneak out of the house to imitate Robin and it’s killing me! Do you know how many times I’ve had to stop him from climbing out of the window? We live on the third floor, man!”
A frazzled older brother. Batman-Bruce grimaced. He couldn’t stop Jason anymore than this being could. Also, “You live here?”
The being scowled, looking defensive. “Why, I can’t? Are you being discriminatory? Because I refuse to take shit from a grown man in a bat-sona.”
“…A bat-what?”
The being sighed. “Nevermind. Yes. I live here. My name is Phantom.”
“Don’t cause any trouble.” Batman warned before hesitating. The being was young, that was clear. He kind of reminded Bruce of Dick, and it made Batman’s tone soften. “And I will try. Robin is resolute.”
Phantom dropped his glowing face into his hands, a move Bruce often wanted to mirror.
“Yeah, tell me about it.”
——
Sorry guys I really like tired babysitter brother Danny and unnecessarily jumping out of windows Tim. This is before Tim decided to be a vigilante. This is after Dick moves out.
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