#hitting rlly hard again atm and it's just. Im Sad.

[catkin-morgs-kookaburralover]

I keep listening to different pieces of music that I love and then my brain comes in all helpful with 'this sounds like great music to die with doesn't it'

[insidereagan]

Hey I know this might sound like a bad idea and you have every right to say no. But I was wondering if you could maybe write a Reagan x Orrin fanfic? Specifically one where Reagan meet’s Orrin again after many years and Orrin starts working at Cognito Inc along side Reagan, then they become more closer and Fall in love with each other. Also maybe have Orrin and Brett become best Buddies lol.

hello!! yea ofc i can! i usually hc orrin as aro/ace but we don’t rlly have a lot of fanfics for him atm so yh :] hope you enjoy anon!

also I wasn’t able to add in any brett here, but I might do another post abt his relationship with Brett

(im relying mostly on hcs here haha 😭)

so when orrin first joined cognitio, reagan didn’t rlly pay much attention. so many new people join cognito every day, she doesn’t rlly pay attention, or take the time to learn their names anymore.

but then when orrin (who’s an unpaid intern at the time) was asked to give reagan some papers, he suddenly got a shit ton of flashback to him and reagan as kids.

like he just stood there for a solid 5 minutes like... trying to figure out how to tell reagan it was him. should he even tell her?

poor bby even considered the fact that reagan left bc she didn’t like him :( like he knew that it was most likely rand but.. still.

then he walked into the room reagan was in to deliver the papers. when he saw reagan, he immediately got rlly flustered.

“hey,, uhh,, I was told to give these to you also I think we used to be friends when we were kids okay bye!” he’s blushing so hard 😫

reagan just looks at him then his name badge. oh shit.

she sighs, knowing he’s most likely gonna ask why she disappeared so suddenly.

“look, I swear I can explain what happens. none of it was my fault, come to my place after work and I’ll explain everything,” she said, writing her address on some scrap paper. they were both so nervous lol.

Reagan especially. like how the hell was she supposed to explain what rand did lmao.

that night when orrin arrived at Reagan’s house it was so awkward for the both of them tbh 😭 orrin didn’t know what to expect tbh.

then when reagan explained everything, he was confused (to say the least lol) but who could blame him

then he got rlly sad and asked things like “so you don’t remember [thing they did]?” and Reagan would shake her head sadly. and he’d give a sad “oh” :[

so Reagan asks him if he wants to sleep on her couch and he agrees.

the next morning is awkward. altho Reagan does introduce him to the gang and him and Brett instantly click.

they ate lunch together, and slowly started to break the ice between them. like nothing big, they just talked about their interests.

they were rlly good friends for a few weeks, when one day it hit Reagan like a brick like “oh shit do I actually have feelings for him,” she’s so confused 💀

one time when they were just eating lunch together, reagan decided to just ask him out.

“hey uhh, I’m sorry if this is awkward but I’d love it if you’d go out with me,”

“I’d love that, thank you reagan,” he smiled.

djkwkw im so sorry rhis is so bad but I hope u like it!

[cornflowercanine]

OH I THINK THE THING I FORGOT TO PUT IN MY 'THIS YEAR IS THE ANNIVERSARY OF-' POST IS THAT ITS 833N 3 YEARS SINCE IVE 833N FUNCTIONALLY CLEAN FROM SELF-HARM LOL I FUCKING . FORGOT. congrats me X3 talking a8t it more under the cut cw for. talking a8t self harm lol+some of the thought process 8ehind it

8y "functionally" clean i mean ill relapse once every Several Months 8ut 8c thats so fucking infrequent at least compared to how i used to 8e that like... resetting the counter every time does not f33l helpful lol XD if it was a w33kly or even daily 8asis for me then YES it would f33l good to 8e a8le to go "ahhh im 3 days clean :'3" 8ut atm it's a few times a year so!!!!! lol

8ut like. would you 8elieve me if i told you it was Not a goal of mine to start recovering that fucking quickly going into 2019 (which is when i started to stop, early 2019!). it's a8solutely not like i was like WOOHOO SELF HARM YEAH LOVE IT 8ut my thinking was that it was smth i'd n33d like a therapist to help me with and give me good coping mechanisms to replace with and hold my hand through the process and shit 8ut the reason i stopped was i ... kept forgetting xD; or i kept getting distracted! i'd 8e upset and 8e like GRRR GRR I SHOULD SELF-HARM 8ut then i'd have to replay the song i was listening to that just ended, or someone sent me a message and i wanted to reply, or i was like. understimul8ed and impulsively opened tum8lr to check it for the 6th time that hour. and 8y the time i was done with whatever little thing i either was like GRRR IM GONNA SELF HARM -gets distracted again- or was like oh yeah. .......8UT THAT'S SAD I DONT WANNA HURT ME RIGHT NOW THAT'S SOMEONE'S FRIEND :( so id end up just not self harming XD i also think my whole...... emotional deal of 2019 honestly genuinely mightve contri8uted to me stopping, getting distracted for a second to stall me self-harming Once and then it happening over and over and over again was already a huge deal, 8ut i wonder a lot (when i AM thinking a8t self-harm which i dont often lol) if me 8eing so fucking mentally+emotionally occupied with a specific sad thing that i didnt f33l like punishing myself over or like was my fault or whatever it was a very external thing, is what helped stave self-harm off like, mentally. i spent the entire year 8eing sad and upset and hurt 8ut this time it wasn't a8out me and that was new XD

and then i think around early 2020? i was like god this just isn't something i not only dont f33l the drive or n33d to do anymore 8ut that i don't even WANT to do, i don't even get any 8ackwards enjoyment out of going "GRRR I SHOULD SELF HARM I SUCK SO 8AD", when thoughts like that DO pop up they f33l str8 up out of place and uncomforta8le and uncalled for now instead of like. something i'm Deli8er8ly thinking Myself that I'm starting. whenever i was really upset i was just like GOD THIS SUCKS really hard and thatd 8e it and when i WOULD relapse out of like. confused upset frenzy not knowing what else to do it wouldn't even f33l good in the aforementioned 8ackwards enjoyment way it just hurt and i was like. 8ro this just hurts whats the fucking point. have u ever 833n upset and planning to self harm 8ut then you like, stu8 your toe or get a papercut or hit your el8ow on ur desk rlly hard and youre like 8RO WHAT THE FUCK OW and ur 8rain's like isnt that what you wanted and ur like YEAH 8UT NOT LIKE THIS, that's how ALL self harm f33ls to me now 8ut without the. wanting to self harm part it's just a hollow reflex that i remem8er exists sometimes. i'm just like damn there was this massive part of my life that i ran off of and evil8rain tells me will help me get along sometimes so i decide to indulge it and for fucking what? for this? for f33ling guilty and having my arm hurt for the rest of the day??? it just str8 up wasnt and isnt worth it anymore so aside from the Thr33 Times A Year Freakout i am clean and man is existing and having a 8ody way less stressful now that i don't do that anymore XD thank you me i love you me

[aitarose]

hi! i’ve been so inactive lately and wanted to post something today, and i realized i haven’t made an appreciation post for my moots in a hot minute—so hey hotties, here’s some cute words about uu. oh and this isn’t all of my mutuals, just the one’s i’ve spoken to outside of the discord lol asjfdkl

@hesthermay —❥ you’re one of my best friends and ilysm and i hope that we get to meet in person one day, so you can endlessly hear me talk about how much i love jimmy woo. also i want to get matching marvel bracelets or smth, gonna look on etsy later for us ajskdlf

@probablydisgusting —❥ you’re like actually so funny and sweet, whenever you pop in the gc on snap just to say goodmorning or goodnight—it really makes everyone’s day and we love having you around. plus, you were one of the first people to pop into my inbox when i was an atla blog and i think that’s so nice.

@imarizaki —❥ i literaly love you sm mari, like you’re adorable and i want to give you a hug, i feel like you give rlly good hugs. and congrats on 400!! you deserve it and i hope 500 comes rolling around fast so you can hit another milestone in the near future ajskfdl

@tsukishumai —❥ cam i swear i know your name like I SWEAR I DO! you’re like an older sister to everyone in the discord and you bring such a comforting presence like it’s so nice to have you in the chat whenever you choose to pop in. you’re quite literally the calm to our insanity

@fukurodianthus —❥ dani you’re asleep rn but when you wake up and see this i want you do know that ily wifey. pls i love it when you harass me in my inbox, i think it’s so funny AND IM GOING TO FLOOD YOUR’S EVENTUALLY I JUST NEED TO BECOME ACTIVE AGAIN ASDJKL

@missmorosis —❥ you’re literally one of my favorite moots ever and you’re always so sweet to me and everyone else around you, it’s so heartwarming to see your positivity and happiness on tumblr and how hard you work! pls ilysm

@ray-ofmoonlight —❥ I LOVE TALKING TO YOU ABOUT THE BACHELOR. i haven’t responded in a hot minute, but dw i’ll answer in a bit i have to go through my messages jaksfld. you’re so nice and fun, and literally the sweetest ever

@diorzumi​ —❥ hi rheya! i’m so glad you took the time and all that hard work to make the server, like that’s insane and i still can’t believe you did all of that. pls the amount of effort you put into keeping it up is so evident and amazing!! also ur rlly pretty, like RLLY pretty

@luvoikawa​ —❥ gigi!! my face literally lights up whenever i see you in my notifs or on my dash pls. i love your energy sm and the presence you bring to the discord. like idk, you just seem really cool to me, does that make sense? like you have cool girl energy.

@sugas-cookie​ —❥ hello rissie. you should be sleeping rn, but ily and you’re my favorite and only child, and no matter what i say i would never bring you back to the ditch. but like...the frogs? i fucking hate the frogs, abolish all frogs they make me physically cringe i cannot.

@kei7ime​ —❥ CHLOEEE!! every time i see your theme i feel so satisfied, like it’s so pretty it rlly is. you’re so fun and i love talking to you or just popping in your inbox to say hi. omg hi chloe!! ok ok ily

@pxnk-velvet​ —❥ angie your drawing of us are so cute and i love them sm, and i can’t wait to read the story that you’ve been writing of our gc as a volleyball team, like pls i’m so excited. also the line “just shut up already, angie” lives in my head rent free

@miyalove​ —❥ hi dylan! i haven’t popped in your inbox in a while but i just wanted to tell you that i love u and you’re so nice and sweet and ilysm. you give off hot girl energy dylan, like for real, you rlly do.

@iwaizoom​ —❥ HI JADE. you’re so nice and your blog is so pretty, like the light green jaskljl PLS ITS SO PRETTY. i love the vibes you give off like you’re so chill and so easy to talk to sjakljdkl pls ilysm

@kageyuji​ —❥ lore i love you. like i love you. every time i talk to you i just feel happy like idk it’s this overwhelming feeling, you just have this gift where people feel comfortable when they’re talking to you. and your blog is so pretty pls asdjl

@hikariakaashi​ —❥ you’re one of my favorite moots, firstly bc of our interactions on tumblr in the early days of the discord and now on snap too. you have rlly good style, like rlly good style—and whenever you do your voice asks, your voice is like rlly pretty! girl you have a rlly pretty voice!

@ceci-chan​ —❥ hi twinnie! pls i think it’s so funny that we have literally the exact same nose, that’s actually wild. it’s so fun to watch your blog grow and your events are so cute and ily

@nekomabvc​ —❥ i buried you in here so you’d have to search for your part. literally going to say nothing i’m tired of writing about you goodbye. you called me a whore this morning. that’s not very swag of you, i’m going to report you to mab and cancel you on corpse tumblr.

@bellesowl​ —❥ hi isa! we haven’t interacted all that much, but in the times we have you’ve been so kind. and you’re rlly pretty, just sayin. you’re blog is also super aesthetic and i literally live for it, pls the muted tones are everything ajsdlk

@gellysticks​ —❥ angela pls you’re actually so funny like you’re so funny. every time your tiktoks come up in my suggested they literally make me laugh pls—but the frogs are terrible. abort frogs. this is a frog slandering blog. me and all my homies HATE frogs.

@cafemiya​ —❥ issy you give off such hot girl energy (and you are a hot girl anyways) and your energy is so contagious, like idk how it just is. you bring this positivity to the discord just by being there and i know everyone is so thankful that you’re so interactive with us jaskfdl

@biqherosix​ —❥ DANIZA I HAVEN’T OPENED YOUR SNAP YET BUT I RLLY WANT TO HEAR YOUR BAND PLAY. pls that’s literally so cool, like i wish i was in a cool band with my friends jsakdljkl. i love talking to you and we’ve been friends for like a good three months now which is crazy

@velvetfireworks​ —❥ rach i literally never read fics but yours are so good and they live in my head rent free. PLS THE SAKUSA ONE FOR THE BROKEN HEARTS CLUB AUDHS. you’re so nice and so talented and i reread your masterlist OMG I JUST REMEMBERED THE MOB AU ONE THAT ONE IS PERFECTION.

@hajiswife​ —❥ hi gabbie! your blog is gorgeous and your so nice pls!! like i literally can’t believe we’re mutuals it hits me like a brick. i love your works and your energy sjaklfdjl i’ll probably be popping in your inbox later just to say hi lol

@svgashi​ —❥ NIKE!!! omg we’re literally sister wives. you’re the first moot i had on tumblr that understood how great sugawara is and it’s like a breath of fresh air from the constant slandering my friends give him. ILY

@sexy-bee-juice​ —❥ aja!! i love getting your messages and just saying the most out of pocket things with you, and your reblogs make me laugh so hard like you’re rlly funny. also my broken french is terrible but i’m glad it makes you laugh ajskfdl

@koutarousangel​ —❥ MICKEY PLS YOURE SO FUNNY. I LOVE YOUR VIBES AND EVERYTHING LIKE YOURE FUNNY. and ily too. just putting that in there in case i haven’t said it in a while <3

@hvnlydmn​ —❥ hi ains! congrats on 5k!! that’s literally so insane like omg you must be reeling rn jadskfl you really really deserve it tho, everyone sees how hard you work and how much content you produce in such a short amount of time CONGRATS ILY

@akaashi-bby​ —❥ victoria you were the first person i talked to teen wolf with in like three years pls. i’m listening to a song from the show atm and it’s making me sad but ilysm and i love talking to you about literally anything

@laineywritesstuff​ —❥ LAINE!! hi! you’re so pretty like you look like you give the warmest hugs and i feel like if i ever met you in person i’d just get engulfed does that make sense? you’re so nice and ilysm and i hope you’re have a fantastic day!

@kiyoalex​ —❥ you’re rlly funny. like rlly funny. and i feel like we match each other’s energy pretty well in pms. pls my insanity is too real back there BUT IT’S OK I THINK BC YOU SEEM TO UNDERSTAND IT LOL ILY

@shoutamajiki​ —❥ hi nana!! you’re so nice and i’m so glad you joined the discord! and i’m so sorry i added you to my terrible private story on snap pls it’s so bad i’m very very sorry about that jksalfjdl

@sunacity​ —❥ nea i love your works so much like literally they LIVE in my head. you’re so talented and i can’t believe we’re mutuals that’s literally insane bc i love your stuff pls. and on top of being talented you’re so nice, like the nicest jaskdflj i can’t

ok ok i think that’s it for now, this isn’t all of my mutuals—but it’s the one’s i interact with the most and if we are moots and i didn’t include you pls my inbox or pms are always open to just like go insane in. ok have a great rest of your day!!

[slcters]

 「 avan jogia. cismale. he/him. 」i hope that #lexsquad member「 SLATER MALIH SAVALIA 」adds me to the squad ! the 「 TWENTY THREE 」year old 「 LAW 」 major has been apart of the squad since 「 OCTOBER 2018」and seems to be the 「 DELPHIC 」of the group.「 SLATER」is a「 SENIOR」 and seems to enjoy 「 WRITING & PLAYING MUSIC 」but you can always find them at a squad party , too !

TW:  CHEATING, ABANDONMENT, PORN MENTION, DEATH, DRUGS

Anyways lemme give you some info about my man and try to keep it as short ( I lied ) as possible I’ll have some wanted connections at the end so hit me up to plot cause I live for that :) 

NAME: SLATER MALIH SAVALIA AGE: 23 MAJOR: PRE- LAW SENIOR @ LEX POSITION: A DADDY HOBBIES: givin 0 Fucks, living life to the full, writing, being an PI on his dad, spiting his family n causing problems as a FUCK U. BORN: LONDON, ENGLAND. SEXUALITY: A truE WILD BISEXUAL :”)

BACKGROUND: 

So Slater was born in London, England however when he was younger he moved around a lot with his parents until they settled in LA. Mainly for his dads business and his mum had previously lived there too.

His mum was a travel writer which explains why they traveled a lot, his father runs a few escort agencies + brothels ( nevada only we do it legal here )  and also started up his own pornographic production company / film studio in LA. it would probably now be one of the biggest in the world.  ( think vivid entertainment meets brazzers ) u know FILTHY RICH SHIT.

Both his parents were obviously away quite a lot, his dad ran so many businesses and hmm was hands-on lets say but the household was pretty calm when he was fairly young. his mum was super attentive and loving and just such an amazing role model and always wanted to take him with her to show him the world when she had to leave. i think he definitely was a mummas boy.

at about 8/9 however would’ve been when things kind of came crashing down for him. he really caught his dad cheating on his mum w/ one of the porn stars he hired from the studio. His dad would’ve really asked him NOT to tell him mum because it would break their family up. obviously, slater was like terrified of the chance of losing his family so he just pretended nothing ever happened.

he was so conflicted because he was keeping this huge secret and he had so much guilt but he didn’t wanna be the one to ruin things. Like his dad basically used him as a cover like expecting him to lie for him for a long time. it would’ve really eaten away at him. like it would’ve not been a one-time thing, but slater was in denial for sure.

i think one day slater would’ve slipped up in one of his lies for his dad and his mum ended up fighting out what happened and it was such a mess. it would've led to their divorce and god that was.. SOO messy. they defs didnt have a prenup and like the custody.

I think lowkey he was miserable being with his dad, he had so much resentment and sadness there. he would’ve been okay being with his mum the whole time.

His dad was really the type of parent that would use his kids against each his ex wife like they would use slater to pass on messages and being like no u can’t have him for that day etc etc And not taken slater into consideration.

his dad though really tried his absolute best to bring his mum down which was sooo sad to see, like watching her get put through the ringer by his dad and she just became a bit of a shell of who she was, because he obviously had more than enough money to do it and didn’t want her to see a dime of it even tho he.. RLLY BE LIVING THE HIGH LIFE.

slater would’ve just been back and forth between them both up until he was about 15 when his mum, unfortunately, passed away due to drugs. which was SO UNEXPECTED.  i think there was definitely a lot more to it, like she definitely was self-medicating to help go through the still pending divorce. which would’ve lasted years. 

anyways losing his mum devastated slater because truly she was like a best friend to him, she was. he always enjoyed the weeks at his mums more than his dad and now he knew he’d be stuck there.

he fights a lot with his dad still about everything that happened and what he did, he blames him for it and putting a LITERAL KID in the middle.

anyways though since the separation his dad had like a myriad of “ girlfriends” around who were probably all young enough to be like a step sibling tbh. he never took to any of them until his stepmom. who shockingly he actually really likes. shes one thing keeping his family together atm.

 Anyways as you can imagine slaters dads business was huge and his dad is truly raking in the money but slater has always felt uncomfortable spending or even benefiting off it which is why he’s extremely secretive considering he knows where it comes from and he doesn’t exactly support his dad let alone he doesn’t want to have to explain that to people and get them looking into his family.

his father has really tried and put up this front though as if he’s a huge family man now and is conservative and super religious and smh that pissed off slater to the max. he’s like that dont make no fucking sense..

 when he high school hit though they were going to country clubs all that shit slater hated basically. he truly didn’t mind acting out just to spite his dad knowing hey your a family man what are you gonna do about it??

this drove his dad so crazy and only meant more rules were put on him, it was about the only attention his dad gave him.

when hey fight though its really wild, you know slater throws it in his dads face basically just some fucking pimp and exploits people and he’s never gonna do that and he’d rather have nothing than follow in his footsteps

i think his dad has been fined multiple times for some shady shit going on in his businesses. plus its been common knowledge in the depths of the industry they heavily provide them w/ alcohol drugs etc. probably has had an issue with the treatment of the people hes hired. lawsuits.  there's more under the surface that even slater doesnt know.

there would’ve been a bit of a scandal where his dad employed one of his dumbass country club friends daughters aka someone even slater knew to star in one of his adult films

 but regardless like he knew he really was fortunate he lived an extremely privileged life, like he would be set for life, could sit do nothing and its good. he just never had a huge interest in it unlike his father who really always said that he would take over everything someday and it would turn into a huge family business. and he was like yikes someone come tell him.. no thanks. 

 His dad and him definitely had a rocky relationship after his moms death, he  didn’t parent very much and just left his stepmom in so many uncomfortable situations but honestly

 He saw her more as a friend though then a mum but she was the best parental figure he’s ever even had. She’d genuinely try so hard to make sure his dad was acting like one like telling him he’s going to his sons gigs or else even though slater knew his dad would come for 2 seconds to appease his wife then leave.

But growing up he’s always been super careful of who’s around him and who he lets into his life probably as a result of how secretive his family has always instilled in him to be.

 Like his dad keeps saying we’re family we come first, and he never wanted slater to be sharing that with people about what they did.

 But he has such a resentment to his dad, like he thinks he’s a mess he has a wife he doesn’t give a fuck about a son he doesn’t see, he does god knows what he just is so convinced he can’t turn out like him ever. 

I think people genuinely think he must not come from money because the amount of people who have ever met his parents or seen his house is a handful if that. 

Like he’s always hanging out at other people’s places and just he’s never been really extravagant unless its to purposely spite his dad yikes. that comes from anger.

Like he really got himself a job even though his dad said he could come work for him just cause he was like yeah I don’t want to run ur dumb company and make money off it u pos? 

His dad has definitely been investigated a few times for shady practices. slater definitely started looking into law for that reason, like he genuinely thought he wants to actually be able to put guys who screw the system and own huge corporations and think they can pay outta anything in jail.

meanwhile his dad thought great a lawyer who can defend our family business smh so he supports him He has no clue slater would rather take him down.

hes on the dl investigating his dad himself. who wanna help.

PERSONALITY

losing his mom AND one his best friends showed him that he needs to really do everything he wants to and in that moment which does make him selfish at times 

i think he has abandonment issues, i think like when  his best friend who was kinda the reason he came to lex, happened to pass away also triggered that again ( TBD WHY im leaving this open for plots ) and that really shook him all over.

he really almost feels cursed at this stage.

he was pretty sheltered tbh because his dad wasn’t trusting AT ALL and at first was homeschooled until High school so he didn’t exactly grow up outgoing or being able to have many people at his place or tell them about his life.

i think theres not many people who know he’s related to his dad business, even tho his dad business iS HUGE and legit is his last name. and hes like yeah ha coincidence right??? not my dad at all.

He’s super fucking blunt though like he may be secretive with his personal life but his ass does not hold back which has gotten him into way too many problems. 

He just feels like he grew up lying about so much, his dad was like we don't want people taking advantage of you if they find out who you are and use things against me.

 he hated that and all the secrets about his dad he kept so don’t expect him to hold back on feelings or thoughts back at all 

LOVES to spite and piss his dad off even if that means 30+ students at his dads place during a business meeting lets do it.

He acts a lot without thinking like he sucks at planning anything and a lot of time he seems a little flighty and that he doesn’t take things serious enough esp his relationships

.He’d really go above and beyond though for anyone who’s proven to him that they can be trusted like he’s been known to be all in he either gives it everything or nothing so he goes extravagant

will try everything once.

wild child tm.

 his ass was kinda like living it up. he’s like on the brink of i dont want to just use my dads money but he’s like if i am though i wanna use it to actually do something decent, like get a law degree and be something, travel like his mum did. hes obsessed with the thought of like following in her footsteps BUT HE. NEVER ADMITS IT.

feelings who are u?

 He’s definitely a realist and a little bit cynical too, like he’s seen way too much shit to really have some ideal look on life. 

He doesn’t believe in some fairytale or things just happen for a reason or really in fate or anything like that. 

Like he doesn’t think love fixes everything and someone can be your happiness at all . hes like clearly its only problems so.

He’s only ever really had one serious relationship and a bunch of other casual things but that was just nothing to him

 He’s not closed off to them but he picks and chooses what he gives, but he’s just doubtful how someone’s gonna mix well into his life 

He definitely seems aloof and a bit cold but I mean after a drink and 5 minutes he’ll be picking your brain on just about anything 

loves writing in general, usually lyrics and music though.

secretly Loves a good midnight dnm overlooking the water with a trusted friend

 Awesome at getting himself out of situations he can be pretty convincing lbr

lowkey has abandonment issues. 

connections: donnt say im trash i know.

extra drama - his STEP sibling. aka child of his step mom. 

his best friends sibling, aka the one who passed away :”(

someone whose mum dated his dad WILD.

A TABOO FLING OR CRUSH, basically he got with someone he shouldn’t of, we can decide reasons HOWEVER I’D LOVE if the other chara was the ex of his friend who passed away. HED FEEL LIKE SHIT for having feelings. the angst. and the we cant do this its wrong.

I mean... someone who actually WORKS FOR HIS DAD. i would die, could be an escort, a sex worker, someone who is signed to his dads production company, can be a pornstar or more like a cam star too.

someone who is a huge tease and rlly makes his ass beg to be with them. make him work for it honey.

ooo a really GOOOOD friend and they’ve always been “ platonic” but theres this weird sexual tension and they both know it, but like ooo it could risk the frienndship n makee it weird and like ugh.

like someone whose parents hates them hanging around w/ slater bc of his family, maybe bc they ran in the same circles from back home but they just.. cant stay away from each other.

someone hes kinda dated but they realised we’d be better off as friends even tho weve seenn each other naked, it was fun.

One of the people from back home that found out all about his entire family when the scandal was exposed. They could’ve been friends or enemies.

AN ex!! pls he defs has broken some hearts or THE ONE WHO BROKE HIS :) IF U DO THIS U WILL GET SO MUCH LOVE

An enemy Maybe someone against his family or someone he just can’t stand!

THE damn girl his fucking dad tried to employ to be in his damn movie! My ass would do wild shit for this one wild WILD SHIT.

unrequited love, someone's heart he broke without even realising it

A confidant someone he can really confide in tell-all his dumbass shit too, like his protective ass would really care for this person

Someone who’s into music as much as him pLS!! like someone who can just jam with him late nights

He needs that dnm kinda friend 😂

A fwb that’s self explanatory:)

RIDE OR DIES etc

CHILDHOOD FRIENDS.

ANYTHING IM SOOO OPEN FOR PLOTTING

[neo-shitty]

toffee!

no dont apologise! i didnt check until just then so np :)

mmm yeah it is a bit trippy. hehe ITS TRUE THO. yeah sadly i think ur right, and tag blocking is probably a good idea. sometimes smut written well or not in excess is okay but goddamn when its abt 01 line and thats the whole fic... *silently blocks tags*

hehe i do that all the time lol this conversation is carrying on threads from a month ago :) mmm yeah ur probably right sadly, same. HA HE DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE and now i have someone to talk to abt them, so thats good! I KNOW felix was actually the one who got me into skz with his iconique gods menu line so i guess i have a soft spot for him. i always tell myself my bias is chan but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ guess im more whipped than id like to admit. mmm yeah that does make sense dw i hope they do that as well. YES king seungmin hIMSELF. GODDAMNIT DONT GET ME STARTED ON MINHO IN GODS MENU I DIDNT EVEN KNOW HE WAS PART OF THE GROUP UNTIL I STARTED GETTING MORE INTO THEM. BITCH (affectionate) THE LINE DISTRIBUTION HAS BEEN UTTER DOG SHIT but *deep breath* its better now so were moving on adn hoping it stays that way. sis same but i may or may not have gone thru a rlly depressed phase and actively sought out the elimination episodes so i could actually force some tears out of my emotionless shell of a heart but what cna you do? lmaoo i feel that irl, binnie deserves more vocal lines. yesss channies accent is rlly prominent then, i think also the way he structures his phrasing? is more english speaking than korean? but yeah i totally get what ur saying. AJKSAL lmao

okay then! im excited for whenever it gets done! (maybe tag me?) ahh the cold shrivelled heart of a dark au writer beats again at the thought of torturing another poor characters very soul (/j) :(( yeah that would suck not being able to see them. ohhh ur on the other hemisphere to me! were just going into spring rn. mmm smth to look forward to! YES you put it into words. they rlly are pretty independent from the company (remember how jyp rejected that other dudes songs after like 3 seconds and then how he was apparently nervous to show the song hed written to chan cos chan was so good at writing hits ahhh sweet revenge) mmmYES we rlly need a mute and remove notifications button for our brains dont we?

YES CORRECT i totally agree. some people jsut dont give it a try, adn assume its bad cos its korean smh racist assholes. yes! im coming up to my 6 month anniv actually! sis sAME, i feel like theyre being tugged into appealing to the western american market and theyre not staying as true to their artistic flair as a group, especially with only writing english songs atm. *sigh* ah well, at least theyre bringing recognition to the kpop world. AHUH dead on, theyre going to be discarded pretty soon and then where will bp be? theyll prob go solo paths which is rlly sad but what can you do when the company is run by a prideful asshole? yg is not going to last much longer in the big four if they keep this up.

hehe you get it. oooh very cool! whos ur ult? (sorry if youve said this before) mmmm yeah good decision, i feel liek thats probably a wise decision. this is my first album release as a kpop stan (not counting mixtape oh) so i think ill get it for sentiments sake. yeah! im excited for the new music! mingi was the one who got me into them, but atm my bias is seonghwa followed by san, wooyoung and ateez but jonghos high notes man *swoon* he, yeah atm ive got jake, jay, nikki, jungwon and sunoo down so just trying to get the rest :) heh, yeah kard i rlly only got into cos of bm, ive seen him like interacting with a lot of idols and he seemed nice so i decided to check out the group. ikr gunshot man *another swoon*

no noe! i didnt know what it was until i got it lol. thx toffee ill try and take that to mind :) yeah lol im on a waiting list thats not going to be free until late september so hopefully i can hold on until then. hope ur okay, that sounds like it sucks, hope you can find someone. maybe ill just take you along on my phone and the therapist can get a two for one patient deal lmaooo. mmm, sorry no i havent mentioned it before, i dont rlly talk abt it much. uhhh basically hypermobility? if you google it, it doesnt seem bad, jsut joint flexibility but ive got the severe end of the stick, leaning towards ehlers danlos syndrome so thats fun. basically it just makes it hard for me to exercise, run, jump, stand or just walk for long periods of time and gives me a lot of joint and muscle pain so... thats fun! but obviously so many other people have it worse than me, so i try not to complain. normally in young people it will improve as they get older, but my doctor said bc its severe in me, its unlikely to get much better. but again, i dont have the worst lot in the bunch, so its all g.

oh its good that its not the bad type of rain, a light sprinkling can be relaxing sometimes. aww thx darl, the concern is appreciated but it went pretty well and i managed not to cough too much on stage or kill myself trying to run around to the other side of the stage in the pouring rain so thats good! oooh tea buddies! my dogs a labradoodle, but shes a bit more of a feral poodle lol not much labrador in her at all, unless its her relentless urge to hunt down every bird that has ever walked this earth smh :((( hopefully they can come back on soon, does uni have dances?

ahhh a mood if i ever heard one. hopefully things will get better for you soon, ik anxiety sucks ass. ooh thats always good! when its sunny here, its always melt ur thongs to the pavement hot so the nicely cool sunny days are a lovely change. hehe impatience is not so good for you, but good for us that get to see ur beautiful theme early. ahh no worries, itll come eventually hopefully. and if not, then just things that make you not anxious are good. it doesnt have to be black or white, sometimes gray is good. mmmmm sames i have midterms this week to catch up on and then two weeks of end of terms so thats fun! i hope u can overcome that a little, heres some channie to be ur motivation https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8LWyNjzOww. hah! i hear that all the time, he seems to be everywhere. did you see that tiktok of hans slowed back door rap, i stg it sounded EXACTLY like namjoon, it kinda scared me. also teh beginning of another day, sounds so much like joon i swear.

that reminds me! idk ur biases! i feel like this should be smth i should know so please! feel free to elaborate!

ahh im glad, i was worried it is. mmm same, so no hard feelings if either of us misses a day or smth. ill start worrying if weeks/months have gone by, but if its just a little while thats more than fine. ill just picture you studiously completing notes and i wont worry lol

<3 w.a. 🐺

at some point i really think i'm going to start blocking accounts because blocking tags won't be enough. i saw ask tags the other day and it just made me want to bleach my eyeballs.

i could talk about god's menu felix for hours man. the teaser for god's menu that featured his part on the bridge made me look forward to the mv release. you: biases chan, also you: lixiesbabyhands. yes you are more whipped than you think. i can't believe orange haired minho was given NOTHING during that era but they kind of made up for it in the b-sides. i also hope it stays that way. the distribution for this era was pretty fair.

"torturing another poor character's soul" in all honesty, i used to live for this. 2017 me leading up to early 2020 wrote nothing but angst. i have another aussie friend on twt and tbh i'm still really (O.o) about the seasons! jyp should be terrified skz could easily take over that company. heck if skz grow old and start their own company, they'd probably do a great job at running it. PLEASE. i have issues on muting/notifications both mentally and in real life. sometimes, i just wish to disappear.

some people in my country are just disgusting tbh. not only racist but homophobic too. they label kpop as 'gay' and it DISGUSTS me. it's a problematic behavior/mindset people in my country need to fucking get rid of. anyway, HELP ME 6 MONTHS??? and i've been in this shit for like a decade eye. tbh, i’m not fond of kpop groups trying to appeal to the western audience :// it feels like they’re losing their identity in a way. yes recognition but at what cost? yg has my favorite groups but that’s one shitty company when it comes to promoting.

okay my ult! it’s haechan from nct but i consider chan an ult too. like a close second above my whopping list of kpop boys. oh yes! you should get the album just for like a keepsake? remembrance? how did mingi appeal to you? omg did you start getting interested in ateez back when he was still on hiatus? NOT YOU BIASING THE SAME PEOPLE I DID WHEN I FIRST STARTED STANNING. the infamous ateez thot-line. jongho is easily one of the best fourth gen vocalists out here, no one can change my mind :( good luck with memorizing the rest of enhypen! just in time for the comeback too. i hope i’ll get into kard soon but i’m pretty content (and a tad bit overwhelmed) with the amount of groups i stan right now.

please hold on though, feel free to vent here if you like. thanks for the offer tho HAHA but like i’ll try to get checked here too when the cases die down a bit. i’m sorry to hear about your condition though :( please don’t ever overwork yourself to the point that your joints/muscles would ache. it’s completely valid to complain about it tho. i get that you have others in mind but keeping that mindset really doesn’t do you (like you internally) any better? so if you need to, vent your frustrations out and don’t keep it in.

oh my god, about your performance last sunday. was the stage out in the open? glad you didn’t cough too much and did well on your concert. i’m proud of you! i can never understand dogs and poor birds T_T uni doesn’t have dances unfortunately. i think there’s just one party at the end like a graduation ball. what year are you in anyway? if it’s something that you’re fine with sharing. if not, it’s cool.

good luck with your exams! and thanks for the link! AHA what a cutie. i think he does this motivation thing once in a while during his lives and it’s just comforting. yeah joon and han my irl just freaked when we made that discovery. ult crumbs for her. oh god not me forgetting about every biases when you asked. you can ask for my biases in a few groups just list down the one’s you’re interested in knowing. 

i missed yesterday because i was grinding and finishing what if we stay + school work. finally did it today. i’m sure i’ll reply in like a day or two, definitely not a month unless i state otherwise. if i ever decide to abandon this blog, i’ll let you know.

[system-architect]

gonna be doin some late additions to that ask meme since i was asked a bunch...! it’s a lot for four dif chars so i’ll be splitting it up into two posts. i might have to skip a few questions but we’ll see

here’s the gunner and xinn edition! i was asked uhhh... 1-6 and 9-19

gunner first!

Their physical weak spots: gunner is speedy and evades a lot, but can’t take too many solid hits in general-- anything that disarms him or messes with his ability to move/think fast will hamper him a lot. he’s actually mostly primarily weak to over-exerting his magic and making himself sick/’irradiated’ Their emotional/moral weak spots: he can be too stoic and too cocky and launch into things headfirst without properly assessing the situation or consulting his allies Scars or painful spots: his right arm/side is aaaalllllllll leyline scars! Best places to kiss on their body: he is partial to shoulder/upper back/neck/jaw/near ear kisses. also scar kisses Guilty pleasures: it’s not a guilty pleasure so much as a Secret Pleasure but gunner’s surprisingly talented at baking/cooking. he’s also very into sweets specifically chocolate Their vices (physical or emotional): it’s not particularly severe for him, but he sometimes turns 2 Substances when hyper stressed Humiliating memories: god i’m sure there’s a Lot but i gotta develop him more here. he probably has quite a few from growing up in novus but not being much of a typical asura. plus some embarrassing combat defeats Fears/phobias: afraid he’s gonna squandered his extended lifespan and amount to nothing despite that, afraid he’s gonna end up losing everything he has again like he did in the chak attack on rata novus, afraid he’s just been constantly making the wrong decisions and everything that’s happened to him is his fault and that he could’ve solved it if he was just Better, afraid that bad things are going to just keep happening to him Bad or petty habits: god he can be very stubborn and petty and aggressive or passive aggressive at times... he has a bad habit of overfocusing on himself and not considering others in a situation Grudges and vendettas: he’s got a grudge against Every Single Chak and will go out of his way to kill them. he loathes the inquest for all the shit they’ve done to ppl he loves and all the havoc they’ve caused with his DNA, and he’s also still bitter at zinn for leaving his people behind (he was very.. smug when he learned how zinn died) What gets them flustered: gunner is very strongly emotional despite acting stoic so it’s pretty easy to get him riled up into an argument... anything about synergetics or related to ppl gunner cares for or his fighting strats is a 1 way ticket to Yell Town Ingrained habits/forces of habit: he’s crossing his arms like 24/7 and he’s also a very paranoid person who is constantly surveying the area and whips his head about every time he hears A Noise.. he’s on his tactical survivalist fighter game like all the time What it takes to make them cry: takes a LOT to make him cry bc he bottles those emotions hardcore. things related to his parents or setting off his “alchemy why me, why do bad things keep happening to ME??” complex will do it Dark secrets/’skeletons in the closet’: he keeps the novan thing concealed but u all here on tumblr get to be privvy to it. he’s also very clammed up about how the mists affected him... Regrets: he’s constantly picking over and scrutinizing his past actions, big and small, and wondering how he could’ve done things better or if he could’ve prevented such huge messes by acting a little differently Things they’ll never admit: he’s bottled this a whole ton so he tends to be less aware of it tbh, but inside he’s a big huge softie who’s very emotional about a lot and he should bottle things less and he wants more gentleness in his life. he has a hard time admitting to himself that showing emotions isn’t Bad People they’ve hurt or indirectly killed, and how it affected them: depends a lot on the situation.... idk much specifics but gunner def has had to kill people and generally views it as a survival necessity (think like, fighting enemies ingame-- bandits, centaurs, djinn, whatever). he doesn’t like needless killing. whenever he does have to kill someone he’s slightly crestfallen a bit, he does trudge onwards but the general concept he gets hung up on was how that person had a whole world and spirit inside them and he’s put that to an end now

aaaaaaaaand here’s xinnux--

Their physical weak spots: xinn is speedy and can put great force behind stabbing/throwing with his knives/machetes but he mostly marches in with his pets to attack things, so anything that disarms him or impedes his movement or separates him from his pets will render him useless. good luck catching him tho he’s like a mouse on red bull Their emotional/moral weak spots: xinnux is Les Enfants he gets emotional and confused about a whole lot of things. he doesn’t have a bad bone in his body but he’s still figuring out how morality works; he doesn’t quite Conceptualize death and good vs bad yet Scars or painful spots: he’s got a lot of weird scars from inquest tests and he doesn’t like any of them, they physically hurt and remind him of Bad Things Best places to kiss on their body: i’m just gonna slide in here for future ref, xinn physically appears to be 20 atm (his bday was nov 25th! woo!) but he is literally two years old and the narrative handles him as a child!! (xinn being a child who’s not been given a childhood and has been forced to grow up fast is Very Much a plot point, even!) so i’m not gonna b answerin any kind of questions about romance/sexuality for xinn. xinn is a toddler in a big boy’s body, he has dirt to crawl around in and retrieve bugs from, that’s his life atm he doesn’t mess with adult business like this Guilty pleasures: xinn feels guilty about nothing. he WILL binge eat what he pleases. he WILL ‘accidentally’ steal things. he WILL just literally do whatever he wants at any time. the concept of feeling guilty for something that is fun is like, beyond him Their vices (physical or emotional): this isn’t rlly a vice but like i said since xinn has a hard time conceptualizing things like death and pain, he will sometimes be a bit cruel in his treatment towards others, but it’s out of obliviousness and not direct malice.. he def has a strong sense of empathy he just.. doesn’t Understand things.... (think about when you were a kid and were cruel to animals not bc you hated them but bc you were a tiny untamed infant monkey who acted on instinct and “i want to touch that”, but the thought of “this thing might not enjoy being touched” wasn’t something that occurred to you because your tiny walnut brain couldn’t compute that yet. that’s about xinn’s predicament.) Humiliating memories: there’s probably a few memories he has of bouts with the inquest and tryin to run away but bein wrangled back into his cell and he’s like, embarrassed about his lack of strength there whilst also bein seething mad at the inquest for this all Fears/phobias: A Lot. he’s filled with fear and doesn’t quite process any of it. right now he just knows that feeling hurty things is bad and he feels that and he doesn’t like it. he is also really afraid he will never be Normal and it’s not really a fear he can do much about, or rlly directly a fear, but he’s very bitter and sad about not getting to be a kid and just be born and have a normal childhood. more normal phobia wise, he hates small enclosed spaces with no easy exits, and he hates doctor-related stuff, and he hates being alone Bad or petty habits: xinn can be very stubborn and if he’s told not to do something he will usually run off and try to do it either out of ignorance or just, direct spite Grudges and vendettas: big big ol grudge against all inquest/former inquest. except the one who let him free, that guy’s cool. fuck everyone else tho What gets them flustered: challenging xinn to an argument on literally anything will get him very mad very fast and he doesn’t know how to argue. it VERY LITERALLY will turn into arguing with a child Ingrained habits/forces of habit: he’s always scanning for exits in a room What it takes to make them cry: not much. xinn cries easily, though he does hate crying in front of people and tries to stop it. he doesn’t like bein reminded of his past and also he hates being told he’s wrong or that he can’t do something Dark secrets/’skeletons in the closet’: not rlly a Dark Secret uh, despite being physically 20 he still a lot of the time really wants to be treated like a kid and just entrust himself to parental units and be fussed over jhkgd he does fluctuate on this tho and can absolutely get very “no im adult!!!” too Regrets: the childhood thing i guess? he also feels regret when he unknowingly acts cruelly and it adversely affects someone/something. rn his brain is still forming the concepts of regret, really Things they’ll never admit: xinn can’t really form his brain around concepts like this. he doesn’t particularly have anything complex going on that he would never admit. he has stuff that’s tough to admit, but he does a poor job of hiding it People they’ve hurt or indirectly killed, and how it affected them: i’m sure he’s killed at least one person and probably some critters and like i’ve mentioned he doesn’t really Conceptualize death yet. he knows death is Bad but doesn’t really currently have the emotional development to put himself in other people’s heads and understand why killing someone is so bad and tragic

[travellers-survivor-old-west]

Episode 7: “The coin flip gods decided Xander would be leaving us tonight”- Chloe

Everyone drop your..................... spare change we have a decision to make - Someone on the losing tribe, probably.

jeezzzzzz this round is fucking frustrating. so last minute last round my alliance flipped to keaton which was WONDERFUL!!! I was having a hard time talking to him and I'm glad it's Vi and Xander still here. the concering thing tho is someone told vi to do keaton so like.....someone tryna scoop up that good good number huh? this auction though....FUCK THIS. so it started off fine. nobody snatched the first thing bc it was useless. but then the second item hehe I grabbed it bc I wanted to throw to keep ashley safe + wanted to know what it was. so i was like ok cool love it. but then for some reason another item got posted after the time the post said the challenge would be running.....which was not fair flkjfl and i didnt see it cause i was like cool i can sleep now :) and then it's the fuckin most powerful thing in the game :)))) love that for me lol. and someone on that tribe fucked it up. i literally would've fuckin spent all the money for it if I'd known the auction was gonna go past the time the hosts said rip so that threw a wrench in everything and now i am a sad sad cowboy :'( next day i snatched the first item to end the auction so that the power hungry snakes in my alliance didnt get all the good stuff. so even tho i got nothing of value, i DID get assurance that only one thing is out there that I need to be worried about. :))) hehe :))) and it was REALLY EASY to play off like xander took them both tbh. he was typing in the chat the whole time lmao. the only problem is that chloe eve and isaac are actually smart and they might know it was me but like i rlly put in that fake nancy drew work and was like HELLO DID U BUY THOSE THINGS ? I even asked xander if he got either of the items hehe. im just sittin here with my two lame-ass packages <333333 but i have a really bad feeling about the other tribe. Ashley was on a work trip all week and I know her and her fuckery and her inability to talk to boring men and her tribe has way way too many of them. jared/sammy have the power on that tribe if they scoop dylan and goat nick or bro down with aidan. so it's bad news I think. I'm gonna be pissed at them if they get her out (and i swear to god if jared is doing it just to break up me and her so I'm closer to him he has another thing coming!!!!!!!!! :) ) i wanted to be loyal to jared and ashley, but if he gets her out before I even have a chance to play with her, im gonna be fuckin bitter!!!!!!!! and who knows what I'll do then :)

Well rip us again. I’m slightly screwed? Maybe. I did get 2nd highest score so hopefully the others keep that in consideration considering Owen, Xander and eve got lower than 50 points. I’m pissed Bc Chloe and I both tried hard to carry the team. We were 200 points under. That’s more than either one of us got. Every one else didnt do an entire section. One of them only did a couple pictures, another only did a couple videos. Rip I want to die.

BIIIIITCH. Shit has hit the fan and I finally feel like we're playing a game here. Last tribal was intense but it brought back that feeling as to why I play these things so I was kind of into it. Overall the scrambling in the last few hours showed a lot of people's hand and I think that was one valuable thing that came out of the last vote out (in addition to Sammy's vote out). Apparently the alleged vote was Ashley, which Jared told me rather late, and I didn't feel clued in on that AND I was a fan of Ashley. She was one of the only people here from my second tribe and she talked to me more than a majority of the tribe making me realize that the Malakoff OGs might have formed a voting block - Pat might possibly be involved. Apparently it was a push on behalf of Pat but I did use my vote steal and try to push things in order to save Ashley and push it onto another target. She really wanted Jared but I do feel like I have a stronger relationship with him and the ability to reconcile things further which is why I tried to deviate the target to Sammy. Plus in all of the ambiguity and the fact that my name was going around (as Ashley as a decoy to save herself *insert eye roll*) I felt the need to use the vote steal I secured on the rails. Regardless of how things played out at the end of the day I had no idea what the chaotic twink [Dylan] was going to do and in the event of a 3-3-1 tie I doubt Jared was saving me over Sammy. Weren't they butt buddies in a Tumblr Survivor or something? Like it just wasn't realistic... and I don't feel like I leveraged it poorly at all. Better than going home with something in my pocket like last time. Plus the studio art major's reaction in their exit interview only helped prove my point that they were the best person to go. Plus I felt as if the studio art major in question has the type of fun but lowkey personality that allows people to go deep and as such an extroverted loud ass bitch those players tend to be the ones on my radar. We worked hard, we persevered and won immunity. Pat worked his ass off in the fucking challenge because he knew he made a fucking mistake writing my name down but he's trying to be cordial. Honestly I think a lot of people are biding their time until merge and I have a sneaking suspicion I might be a person of interest when this merge comes. WHY? Well that challenge was CLEARLY thrown and the people who seemed to be left out of the loop were the ones from my original tribe. I'm pretty sure that's a fucking act of war in Ancient Greece. Nick (my number one ally atm I love you Nick) pointed that shit out immediately and made me run to check the results which left me shook. I tried to bring it up to Jared who played it off... another kind of red flag. My priority right now is to strengthen relationships heading into a potential merge and making sure they're on good footing with me even though the last thing that's happening is a loyal Malakoff 3.0. I'm not even going to delude myself with the fucking thought. Despite having Nick and I guess Ashley, I do feel very alone in this game. Most games I succeed in I have a partner in crime so I'm going to adapt and see how I can take on the merge. I really want Nick to know I trust him as much as I do and I hope that whoever survives of Chloe and Vi is excited to see us. That's if the merge is next and you're not playing with us... But I also hope that both Chloe and Vi survive this round but the break up of the challenge doesn't look good. Is there a chance they just fucking suck?

Being back at tribal is fucking hell. At this point just give us merge I stg id be more likely to be immune then. Honestly it feels like most of my tribe put ZERO FUCKING EFFORT into this challenge and I’m beyond angry about it they’re all fucking bastards and I’ll vote every single one of them out for doing this to me.

Thoughts on being at tribal - the coin flippers are staying strong and yet again we flipped a coin to see who goes home between Vi and Xander. This time there’s no Keaton to fuck things around so I’m hoping it stays this straight forward and there’s no genuine last minute scrambles. I don’t think anyone from the group has told Vi or Xander yet who the vote is but the coin flip gods decided Xander would be leaving us tonight. I just wanna fucking sleep. So yea no valid reason for voting Xander tonight other than it was down to a coin flip. Either way I’d be voting Xander and Vi out at merge anyway.

M E R G E U S 

I’m stupid and forgot to do this so I’m doing it from the bathroom at work pls don’t strike me I’ll give you detail when I get off sjhdjddh

Spoiler Alert: He never did send us details when he got off work.....

Hey, this tribe fucking sucks. they never talk about anything or want to do much. Like i had to beg people to do the call. and force that to happen. and I had to force a vote talk out of people.... Thats not my style of gameplay. I hate that im forced to do that. and just want out of this tribe ASAP. IM just hoping if i do survive and make it to merge. that my clever "talking" skills have earned me some credit in this tribe. where I have some allies. I do want to make it far and not just flop in this game. Especially when no one really knows me here and they can't target me because im in a duo with someone on the cast. @every other game i play. *glares at jess* 

Also Xander...

Part 2 electric boogaloo I really just want Alyssa to expose me. Like is that so hard. Also i forgot to mention in my last confessional that Jess had a booty call and they left their top there. 

IS IT MY TIME TO GO??????

Last round was pretty wild. I really did NOT want Sammy to go but unfortunately my hands were tied and he was with jared and pat. I kind of pushed for jared last round a little too much and Aidans ass told jared and he confronted me about it. I think i did a pretty good job at explaining why and basically it was like we both kind of went for eachother last round but now no one will think we are working together. My hope is that aidan and nick will be loyal and continue to work with me but i have a feeling jared is stilll trying to work on aidan and aidans ass is falling for it. Merge is probably coming up and im a little scared about that but if nick and aidan dont flop I think we can make it far.

So last round I played like peepee poopoo I should've just listened to Sammy like I told myself I would at the beginning of the round and voted Aidan... but the second I detect any shadiness even in a F2 or F3 person that's when the meltdown comes... it was like the Bryce situation all over again Not to mention Aidan two-timed me! But luckily it is still early enough in the game to recover from this, and I still have the high noon... I just need to hang onto that no matter what. So this round I centered back in on my round one gameplan, Aidan lost my trust and Dylan earned his 3rd strike with me by not having my back in the tribe chat. I've been bonding with NickG, and I made a deal with Ashley so I'm hoping that new doors will open for me on this tribe. With that being said, we won the challenge and honestly I couldn't care less about a merge any more, the farther away it is the better to be honest- I can have a 50/50 shot at making it one round further every time with tribal immunity. Another note, non-zero odds that Owen threw the challenge for me? We'll see.

Idk what day exactly the video title is specific of when I’m speaking from.

More Pat....