#if im still feeling like this on monday i am so going to walk over the road and straight-up ask to borrow a kitten overnight.

[certifiedstarrr]

After Party ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: Chris Sturniolo

warnings: swearing, alcohol, mentions of not so great home life, mentions of drugs, and smut.

if you don't like smut, find smth else to do.

she/her pronouns will be used!!

pink = y/n

green = lia

blue = matt

orange = chris

purple = nick

Word Count: 858

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**NOT PROOFREAD**

b/n: sorry if this sucks ass, first fanfic ive ever written.

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Shit. I missed 7 calls from my mom. She's going to fucking kill me. I was supposed to be home by 10pm and it's quarter to 12pm. While I was at my bestfriends's house Lia, we were talking about our classes because we were supposed to be doing the same major in college, not cause we wanted to be with eachother all the time, but its because we both found interest in it.

We ended up talking about many other things, except our classes.

"Lia I'm screwed." "She's gonna fucking kill me; her and my dad."

I loved Lia from the day I met her, every breakup, every zit, every party, every boyfriend, every ex, everything that ever happened; we were in it together. As she pulled up in the driveway she wished me good luck knowing how my mother would act.

"Love you y/n, good luck."

"Thanks Lia."

I opened the front door and there my parents were waiting for me to come home. I could feel all the anger radiating straight off them, I certainly wish I was anywhere else but my own home.

They yelled at me for a good hour and I yelled straight back, defending myself. They hit me, and I was done with their shit. I went up to my room and I burst into tears, never understood that I'm not like them at all. I already was struggling with my classes, my room was a mess, my parents weren't helping and this nothing else could go wrong. Right?

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"y/n you got to love yourself and be you. not whatever your parents want you to be. fuck that."

This was why my Lia was my number one. My bitch from day one. She never liked how my parents treated me, she was just like me. Except she was stronger, never cried and had it like this: Me before her family. I told her over and over that I'd be fine, but she knew me better than myself. I was facetiming her for help.

"I know liaaaa! but how am i supposed to be myself when i have to be home at 10pm???"

"do the opposite. forget about the fucking rules. you'll find another side of yourself that you never knew you had."

"you're right fuck their shitty rules, and just to get on my parents' nerve I'll go to a party; drunk teenagers and all."

"Yes girl im coming with! Noah is throwing a party this weekend, we should totally go!"

"we are going to the fucking party. its time to let go."

"yes ms. badass we're goinggg!!"

Friday was 2 days away. And I was ready.

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I'm grounded for 2 weeks. Forget that, I'm still going to Noah's party. I was walking to 3rd period with Lia planning our night out. The plan is I have to sneak out of my window and Lia is gonna pick me up, the party starts at 11:30pm and I'm usually asleep by 10pm so my parents will also be asleep. I climb down my tree and hop into her car. Voilà!

"His house is only 15 minutes away so its fine if we're around 5-10 minutes late."

"I'll also climb down my tree barefoot so I won't damage my heels on the way down." "This is so excitinggg!!"

"I have the perfect dress for you y/n!!

"Whatever it is fuck it im wearing it"

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Friday

From Lia:

You ready for tonight??

Read 2:30pm

To Lia:

yesss

Read 2:30pm

To Lia:

im coming over to see the dress and go over the plan one more time.

Read 2:31pm

From Lia:

okay cool see you in 5<3

Read 2:32pm

I told my parents I was studying for a test with Lia that is Monday and of course my parents believed it I drove over to Lia's and of course her parents were welcoming me in. I went up to Lia's room and she showed me the dress a black dress that pushed up my boobs, and that barely covered my ass. It was perfect. Lia was going to wear a red dress that complimented mine with sparkles, we tried them on and we looked sexy.

"We are going to be the life this fucking party."

"Yes the fuck we are."

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a/n: if u have tips for me i'd love to hear em!! also my introduction page will be out soon!!! just ask to be on the taglist part 2 of AP (after party)!!

@lovingmattysposts

You are my biggest influencer, ilysm<333 (ur r now the first person for the taglist of AP!!

[staryuee]

“you’re such a cute couple!” — genshin hcs ⸝⸝

— [warnings]. not proofread but is that a surprise ehe, also some are pretty short bc i had writers block :((

— synopsis . . . you and [char.] get mistaken for a couple — but it seems this comment fluttered the heart of your ‘friend’ a little too sincerely.

— characters . . . heizou, tartaglia, jean, shenhe, kazuha, xinyan

— notes . . . GAAAA IM SO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING :(( i haven’t been feeling the greatest :’p im sort of getting back into the swing of things tho ^^ expect some more gushy fluff on the way

general backstory :

a banal monday afternoon, with you and [char.] linking arms and just slowly strolling the town, enjoying the soft breeze and the warmth of the sun. you two looked so at peace together, it was difficult for outsiders to not sneak a second glance at your puppy love.

during your little wander you stumbled across a generous elderly lady who flashed you two a gentle smile. as you were about to return the gesture, she says, “you’re such a cute couple! we rarely see such pure love in youngsters nowadays.”

S. HEIZOU

what exactly were you meant to say to that? you couldn’t break it to the poor lady..and plus you didn’t want to offend heizou by making it seem as if you’re completely disinterested in him. you side-eye him in hopes his sharp thinking skills will come out to guide the situation. instead, however, you feel his body tense up and a rosy tint appear on his ears.

he coughs into his hand for a brief second, he glances over at you before responding to the lady; “thank you, i think so as well.” he winked at you. you both said your farewells to the lady, and as you walked once again with linked arms you remembered the words heizou said.

“what did you mean when you said, “i think so as well?” your gazes met each other and for a second it seemed like time froze.

“well, what i more so want to say is that i like you, and being seen as yours is something precious to me.” heizou really had a way with words the sly bastard !!! the heated embarrassment rushed up to your cheeks as you let your face be hidden by your hands.

“now, i don’t have to be a detective to infer that that reactions means you’re interested as well, am i right or am i right ?” he chuckles, pulling you into his chest to let you hide and gather your thoughts for a while…

TARTAGLIA

he is a family man and he absolutely respects his elders so he literally cannot lie to this poor grandma and shatter her fantasy. so, instead, he whispers you a prior apology before taking your hand in his with that bright grin of his and responding, “haha! we appreciate your compliment, we really do love each other a lot im glad it shows.”

seriously for being a literal fatui harbinger you’d think he’d be much more reserved and secretive.. but no, here he was going on and on about his ‘supposed’ love for you and your idyllic relationship to this random grandma that mistook you two for a couple. although, childe truly does have a peculiar way with words as you became rather flustered with each lie that he made up.

eventually, the conversation was dropped and you both continued your stroll, not before you noticed that tartaglia was very insistent on still holding your hand even though the situation has been sort of dealt with. “hey uh, ch- tartaglia, you’re holding my hand..” all he does is send you a look that sends you butterflies in your stomach.

he grins at you, “i know, i’m just hoping that more people mistake us a couple so i can prove a point.”

“prove what point?”

“prove that we belong together.”

G. JEAN

you can feel jean tense up as her head is clearly thinking of a million of excuses she could give the poor woman, but perhaps she malfunctioned since the reply that she gave was not one you were expecting, “uhum..tha-thank you! it’s an honour to have someone as [name] by my side, i’ve really been blessed.”

you know better than anyone else that jean would not be the type to lie so frivolously about her feelings and opinions, especially when it comes to you therefore you couldn’t stop yourself from looking away in slight embarrassment at the thought that jean truly thinks of you like this.

“haha, no worries, take care of yourself ma’am.” was the first thing you heard as you snapped out of your little daydream. jean looked composed to an extent, she still radiated that same knightly and trustworthy exterior but you could feel that she was rather anxious after that interaction.

“[name], um.. sorry for rambling about you for so long, i guess when thinking or talking about you like that i really can’t hold back.” you’re not sure if jean had realised the impact that could have on your heart because she said that so nonchalantly as if it were rehearsed.

“hey jean, did you mean those things you said? like uhm, everything about how you’re happy with me?” you asked, your eyes failed to look at her you were afraid your heart might jump at the pure glance at her. a mild silence erupted, the breeze fanned your skins delicately while the dandelions glided in the air. jean mustered up the courage and took your hands together, “everything i said was completely true, forgive me for being so brazen ..but it’s really hard to keep my feelings hidden from you.“

SHENHE

shenhe knows she loves you, whether she understands what type of love it is; platonic, romantic, familial etc - she doesn’t know however it’s clear to her , her admiration for you is not the same one she holds for people like yunjin, cloud retainer or lumine. the lady’s words come as a real surprise to shenhe, she doesn’t even fully understand how friends are supposed to interact let alone couples.

you don’t want to make her more confused than she already is, or to make her uncomfortable so you deny it, “sorry, we’re not together but we are really good friends!”

“oh dear, my apologies! such a shame, you two would look quite nice together.” she smiles up at you both, taking a minute or two to bid her goodbyes before she leaves.

after walking for a while you noticed that shenhe hasn’t been responding for some time now and instead has been lost in her own thoughts, “heyyy, earth to my lady shenhe~” you poke her cheek in a way to break her out from her own thought.

“sorry, i was just thinking,” you pause and stare at her with a gentle smile, she gazes back at you, “it would be quite nice to be a couple.”

K. KAZUHA

his eyes shift to you to sense any discomfort in the topic, kazuha doesn’t enjoy lying and he doesn’t really know how you feel about you two being ‘together’ as of yet, “apologies, it seems this is a misunderstanding. [name] and i are simply good friends.”

while his words did sting slightly, the ache in your heart was numbed by the fact kazuha’s cheeks and ears were blooming a pretty rosey colour. you two walked off with this newfound tension in between you, kazuha internally cursed himself for allowing a simple misunderstanding to linger in his thoughts so vividly. “so, would my lovely kazuha care to explain why he was so flustered?” you seemingly popped his thinking bubble as he flinches and stares at you for a good minute with this puzzled expression.

his gaze softens and he sighs, looking away from you to stare at the distant greenery ahead. “kazuuuhaa~ answer me already!” you huff out, your patience was running very low at this point.

“sorry, somethings on my mind right now.” he at last responds, although his response isn’t at all satisfactory and almost seems like a coverup. you give him the look of, ‘i know you’re chatting shit but just tell me what’s the matter’. he laughs in amusement, patting your head as he does so. “to be honest, i never realised just how happy i’d feel if people saw us as a couple.”

XINYAN

“haha! thank you, unfortunately, [name] and i are just great friends. but they are absolutely adorable aren’t they?” she squishes your cheek to amuse herself. the grandma beams at you two, “such a shame, you’d be quite lovely together don’t you think?“ perhaps xinyan’s conscious was much more focused on teasing you because she absentmindedly replied, “hehe, absolutely!”

obviously during the moment, you were attempting to come up with excuses as to why she agreed, ‘maybe she was caught in the moment’ or ‘she just didn’t hear the question!’ yet despite your own self esteem, your cheeks were quick to heat up as the other side of you was hoping the words she said were true.

“alright, goodbye nana! be safe!” she yelled, waving to the lady while walking. she kept her hands on her cheeks the entirety of your journey, her expression was unclear but she look pretty dazed. “hey xinyan, you alright? you’ve been spacing out.” you poke at her.

“eh? oh so sorry [name]!! it’s just that..well aha..after being mistaken for a couple i cant help but feel a little happy.” as soon as the words escaped her lips, she smacked her own mouth closed as a fiercely red colour bloomed on the tips of her ears. you yourself weren’t doing so great as her sudden confession (does it even count as one?!) leaves you flustered and speechless.

you’re gonna have to talk more about this after xinyan stops hiding her face from you..

©IHEARTGANYU do not copy, steal or repost <3

[specialagentlokitty]

Giles x teen!reader - the family you need

Part 4:

You walked home, and you didn’t everything you could think off to try calm down, you had a shower, your tried cooking, cleaning, taking a nap, listening to music.

It took a long while, but eventually you had your anger back under control, you had calmed yourself down, and you sighed, burying your head in your hands.

You skipped the rest of the week of school, ignoring your door and phone, focusing on killing demons instead.

As Monday rolled around you trudged your way to the library, hesitant as you reached for the door, but you took a deep breath and opened it.

“Mr Giles?” You called.

You stepped in and he came out of his office, setting some books in the side.

“Thank goodness you’re alright, you had us all terribly worried (Y/N), we tried to call you and they tried your apartment.”

“Yeah I know…”

You sighed a little, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your hoodie.

“Im sorry if I upset you, or if I pried too much, but what I heard was concerning.”

You shrugged a little, walking over to a chair and you sat down, kicking your feet up on the chair opposite you.

“I get it, you hear a kids got a bunch of scars, you wanna figure out what’s going on, I get that you know?”

Giles slowly walked over, sitting himself on the table, his back to you as he listened.

“I mean it makes sense, kid looks like they get beat every night, you have to do something about that, it’s your job to be worried. I overreacted and I’m sorry.”

He turned to look at you, shaking his head.

“It was no overreaction, it was extremely understanding, I pushed into something you most likely don’t want to remember. You were hurt, angry, and that’s okay, but I don’t worry about you because it’s my job (Y/N), yes it may be my job to look after you all, but I worry because I care. I care about you all, so after what I heard I wish to ensure that you are safe.”

You turned your gaze away from him.

“It’s in the past, you can’t change the past.”

“But it still hurts, does it not?”

“Yes, it does. The past is always going to hurt Mr Giles, but what’s happened has happened, we can’t change that, but we can learn from it. The past is what makes us who we are right?”

Giles nodded his head.

“Then what does that make you?”

“I don’t know yet, I haven’t figured that much out, but I’m still learning.”

He smiled softly at you.

“I see, but are you safe?”

“Yes, I’m safe.”

“There’s nobody in your apartment that is hurting you?”

You shook your head.

“No sir, I live alone.”

“Alone?”

“Like I said, things of the past.”

He sighed, nodding his head, and he looked at you.

“If you were in danger you come straight to me, do you understand?”

He got up, coming back with a slip of paper and he gave it to you.

“If you think you are in any danger, or you don’t feel safe, you either call here, or my home, or you come and find me, these are my numbers, and all the places you can find me if I’m not here. Any danger at all, I don’t care how small it may be.”

He took the paper, looking at it for a moment before you looked up at him.

“Am I making myself clear?”

“Yes.”

“Good, I will not have you going through anything of this sort again, especially not alone. You are not alone anymore.”

This made you smile a little bit, and you put the paper into your pocket.

“Thank you…”

“I truly am sorry for whatever had happened to you in the past, and if there does come a day you wish to talk about then I am all ears.”

You nodded your head and stood up, looking at him you smiled a little.

“Can you tell the others I’m sorry? I don’t really want to see them right now..”

“Of course I will.”

With that you left, going back home.

You pinned the paper he gave you to the fridge so you always knew where to find it.

Heading to your balcony, you stood overlooking the part of town that you could see.

You felt guilty that he didn’t know about you, he was so ready to help you, so ready to protect you, just like Colt.

But he didn’t know the truth, if they found out what you were would they be so worried about you? Would the kill you?

You had no idea.

Taking a small breath, you closed your eyes for a second and opened them again, and you saw the burst of demonic energy.

“Of course…”

Hoping over the balcony you landed on the street and began running, but you couldn’t see anything else from the ground, so you sought higher ground.

Jumping into a shop, you jumped on to the next tallest building and looked around.

You saw the flash of red again, and you ran towards it, knowing exactly where it was coming from.

Jumping down, you looked at the school seeing the door had been blown in and you slowly walked over.

Whispering the small chant, you drew your sword from your arm, putting it over your back.

You could smell the demonic energy, and hear the sounds of fighting.

Crouching, you looked down the corridor and you watched the demon throw Buffy into some lockers and stop.

“I know you’re here~” the demon taunted.

You stayed quiet, without drawing your sword the demon wouldn’t be able to fully sense you.

“Come on now my young leader, don’t play games with me.”

You crept back the way you came and down a different hallway.

You circled the demon, and when he turned his back to you, you grabbed Buffy, pulling her into the classroom, clamping a hand over her mouth.

“Is there anybody else here…?”

She nodded, and you moved your hand.

“Library…”

“Buffy you need to get them out of here…”

You heard a noise making the pair of you go quiet, and you looked at her, gesturing to the door.

“You can’t fight him…”

“I’ll be okay… please… get them out of here…”

“You can’t!”

“Go!”

You pushed her towards the door and you ran out the other, whistling loudly to catch the demons attention to distract him from buffy.

“Yeah, that’s right you bastard follow me!”

You spun around, leading the demon the other way and when you were sure you were in the clear you spun on your heel.

Raising your hand and you slammed it into the demons face, sending him through a wall.

“Ah, they warned me you would be strong.”

He grinned, standing up and in a flash he was in front of you, his fist connected with your stomach sending you flying through the walls outside.

Rolling on the grass, you grunted in pain and sat up.

Pushing yourself up, you whispered the chant again, putting your sword away.

You knew what he wanted, and you weren’t going to let him have it.

The demon walked outside, grinned from ear to ear, tilting his head a little.

“Oh they’ve made you their pet, how cute, I bet they don’t even know what you are.”

“Shut your mouth.”

Charged you swung from him, and he jumped on the roof so you followed him, throwing punch after punch that he easily dodged.

He grabbed your hoodie, throwing you in the air, and jumped up, slamming his leg into your chest sending your flying straight back through the roof so hard you put a small hole in the floor.

You coughed, blood flying from your mouth as you took a deep breath, and he smirked from on the roof above you.

“You’re weak, embrace it. Embrace what your father gave you.”

“Don’t you dare…”

The demon jumped down, grabbing you by the shirt he punched you over and over in the face.

“Do it!”

Buffy jumped on him, and he easily threw her off, looking around the library.

“Oh how cute, they can’t even see me, let’s change that.” He snarled.

“Don’t you dare…” you whispered.

He punched you again and got up, stalking towards them all.

He didn’t hurt them too badly, he simply scratch them all with a clawed finger, then he smirked at you.

“Now they can see me it’s going to be so much more fun to kill them..”

You slowly pushed yourself up, sneering lowly.

“Don’t… you dare…”

He paced around you in a circle.

“Maybe I’ll start with the slayer, never killed one before, should be fun. But either way you’ll watch me kill all of them.”

“Don’t touch them!”

You lunged forward, kicking him through the doors, breathing heavily.

Giles saw that spark in you that he saw the other day, he saw the small flash of blue in your eyes but it was gone.

The demon laughed manically.

“Oh your father is going to be so proud!”

The demon charger, standing in front of you.

“I’ll drag your body back me…”

He grabbed you, spinning around the threw you back outside and you rolled on the grass, blood flying from your mouth and the various cuts you had all over your body.

Pushing yourself up, you limped back over, and you whispered the chant again, drawing the sword from your arm.

Standing at the top of the stairs you looked at the demon who was stood there.

“That’s what I’m talking about… but they’ll find you~”

“Not if I stay in control they won’t…”

You took a shallow breath, slowly drawing your sword, blue flames lighting up your body, lighting the sword and you tossed the scabbard aside.

“You want to fight… then fight…”

He lunged and you were gone, roundhouse kicking him back to the floor, and you jumped, slamming your sword at him and he barely moved out the way.

He tried to punch you but you blocked it, and lunged again, his fists the only thing blocking your sword.

Giles rounded everybody up and pushed them into his office out of the way.

You were slammed into the ground, then thrown into some books.

No amount of hits could stop you, even when you could barely stand you kept fighting, standing between the demon and the office door.

“I won’t let you.. hurt them…”

“Try to stop me.” He sneered.

With a cry of pain, and anger, you swung your sword, blue flames branching out and he stared in horror.

“He will win! You will rule by your father’s side!”

“He is not… my father…” you spat.

The flames surrounded him, and he screamed as he was turned to ashes.

You took a few deep breaths, extinguishing the flames so nobody else got hurt in any way by them.

Breathing heavily you took a few shaky steps you dropped to your knees, coughing blood on the floor.

You pushed yourself up, limping to the scabbard, and you slumped again the wall, sheathing the sword.

Whispering the chant, you put it back and groaned in pain, trying to stand up but you couldn’t, no matter how hard you tried your body just wouldn’t let you.

The door to the office was opened and slowly they all came out.

They looked around the mess, and you groaned in pain, closing your eyes before opening them again.

“I.. I’m sorry… about the books…”

They snapped their gazes to you, and you gave weak smile, and rested your head back on the wall.

“What the hell are you?” Buffy whispered.

You said nothing, and Giles held his arm out as she went step forward.

You recognised that look, it was the look they all had then they find out.

“Do you not recognise the blue fire?” Xander whispered.

“No?” She whispered back.

Giles took his glasses off, cleaning them before he turned his attention back to you, putting them on, and he looked at you.

More so, he stared at you.

“The flames of satan himself. This is the demonic child of Satan, I heard rumours about this, but never did I think it was true.”

“I’m.. sorry…”

You groaned in pain, slowly pushing yourself up, stumbling a few steps into the stairs and fell over once again.

You couldn’t stand, you needed time to heal, but you couldn’t go anywhere until then, so you simply just kept getting up, falling over until you finally found a spot in the school away from them so you didn’t have to see the looks on their faces

[im-yn-suckers]

cupids arrows; karma kicked her in the butt

pairing- not exactly enemies to lovers but along those lines. idol niki x idol fem reader park y/n (jays baby sister) (debuts in gg)

warnings- fake friends, idk how kpop auditions work so bear with me, light swearing, lmk what else

wow, proofread this time

synopsis- flashback as jay's younger sister in school, you and your friend decided to audition for hybe at the age of 14. when you pass and she doesn't, you get selected to join a survival show. when your and the one member younger than you debut and you don't, you are announced as the 8th member of enhypen. how does getting cheated on benefit the fact that you and niki aren't very fond of each other?

chapter one; karma kicked her in the butt

masterlist -> next

"we should audition!!" you screamed as you showed your friend, I-jun, your phone screen. displaying the announcement from hybe saying they're looking for people to audition for their new girl group.

''sure. why not? after school on monday we'll go" she said from her spot on your bed. she was sleeping over and it was a friday night. enhypen just debuted and everyone at school called you 'not-so-famous park kid'. how motivating.

you texted your boyfriend telling him all about it. he was the best boyfriend ever.

~

monday after school, you and I-jun walk over to the hybe building and wait in line. there was a crowd of about 40 when you two got there. the line got to about 100 people by the time it was I-jun's turn.

"Hello! my name is Hwang I-jun. i am 14 years old and hope to be able to work with you in the future." she introduced herself to the judges and began to sand a song in english, korean and danced. her vocals were good, they were stable but her dancing was something she could work on. she wasn't bad, but her vocals were very shaky when dancing.

"next!"

"hello, I am park y/n. i am 14 years old and i hope to become and idol just like my older brother." your vocals were like honey and your rap was so good. you had precision in your dance and nothing was wrong.

the other people lined up did their auditions and the judges went to the waiting room. they announced who passed the first audition.

"Ae-sol, Kim. Jin-sol Park, Y/n Park, Sook Lim, and, Eun Jung! Please fill out this form and give we will update you on when the next audition is within the next week or so. otherwise, you may go home! thank you!" you stood with your mouth open in shock and you felt I-jun's eyes on you.

"good job y/n. you did good, i should have practiced like you told me too. i guess i was just being a shit-head" she said, almost forcing herself to.

on the walk home, you were still in disbelief. you enjoyed the evening breeze and walked I-jun home. she was never that rude.

''don't you think one famous kid is enough? like why two? to brag? i mean, he's not that famous. he'll probably flop and end up disbanding" she was obviously jealous that you passed and she didn't. it was uncalled for and unnecessary for her to say that about jay

"i don't know but anyway, see you tomorrow at school. study for bio!" you dropped her off at her house and facetimed jay on the way home. he made you feel safe. despite his tight schedule, he always responded to your texts and calls. he was the best big brother and you wouldn't trade him for the world

"hey kiddo! how are you?" his voice was comforting and warm

"hey, im ok. how about you? how's life being famous and all?''

"its alright. have you done anything today? you don't usually call out of random like this"

"yeah, i wanted to tell you that me and I-jun auditioned for the new girl group audition at hybe. i passed the first audition, she didn't and she sounded really mad"

"now way! congrats! kind sucks that I-jun didn't. if shes being mean to you, tell me because i'll beat up anybody who hurts you. heh"

"Y/N!!!! wassup!! you passed the first audition? thats awesome!" jake was shouting in the background while all the members gathered around to talk to you.

"niki, are you going to say hi or something?" sunoo asked in his motherly tone, almost a whisper

"nah, tell her im sleeping" he rolled his eyes and walked upstairs.

"well, i gotta go jay. I'm home and i don't want you to hear mom and dad's 'happy' shouts"

"ok, bye kiddo! text me before and after the next audition! eat and drink water before i sneak out of here and force feed you"

"ok, bye jay! love you!"

"love you too kiddo" you hung up and walked inside.

"sweetheart! how'd it go? oh, i mean. welcome home honey."

"hi mom. i passed the first audition but I-jun didn't."

"oh. honey. i'm sorry. it'll be okay"

"don't be sorry, she said rude things about jay. karma kicked her in the butt" maybe she deserved it. you went up to your room and went to sleep. you had a bio exam tomorrow after all.

tuesday morning arrives and your phone is blowing up. tons of classmates congratulating you and a handful being rude.

after the bio exam, you had lunch. to avoid any interactions, you went to study hall. finally, peace and quiet. you checked your email and saw that hybe had sent an email confirming the next audition.

you texted jay, knowing there was a possibility he was busy. after school, you felt the buzz you were waiting for, in your backpack

jay big bro <3: hey kiddo! sorry i responded so late, i had dance practice. im so proud of you! you'll definitely pass. love you kiddo!

your shoulders dropped with relief when you saw jays contact on the screen of your phone.

~

the day of the audition came and you texted jay before you entered the building.

y/n: hey jay! i know you're probably busy being famous and all but i'm about to go in for the second audition. wish me luck! love you!

jay big bro<3: hey kiddo! good luck! i love you too! im so proud of you!

his reassurance was all you needed to push you into the doors of the audition.

after about two hours of evaluations, singing, rapping, and dancing, they announced who would go on the survival show.

"The participant who will be competing in "My High School Dream' is, Y/n Park!!! congratulations y/n." you were in shock and you couldn't believe it.

your first instinct was to text jay about it.

y/n: i did it!!! i made it! im going to be on 'My High School Dream'!!!!

jay big bro <3: hold up

he facetimed you and started shouting random things.

"guys! come here! y/n passed!"

the guys *unnecessary* shouts were all you heard. luckily you were at the park, sitting on the swings.

"congrats y/n -_-" of course. niki wasn't happy for you.

"thanks niki." all you heard was a sarcastic 'uh-huh' before jay came back after all the guys congratulating you

"i told you you'd make it! congrats kiddo. i love you so much. did anyone else make it?"

"thanks, i love you too. no, it was just me but they told me there would be 12 other girls competing to make one group."

"it'll be ok, kiddo. where are you?"

"im at the park. i was going to head over to Hyu- a friends house after you hung up"

"oh? who's that?"

"just a friend, uh. yeh"

"ooookaaaay. be safe. love you kiddo"

"love you too jay. i will"

your shoulders went up after accidentally telling jay about your boyfriend. he was the only one who didn't know about Hyun.

little did you know, jay texted your parents and told them to buy a cake quickly. he also mentioned Hyun. they told him who he was but that didn't matter.

when you got to Hyun's house, you greeted his parents and told him the news. he was so happy for you and after about half an hour. you walked home excitedly, unknown of what was waiting at home.

"SURPRISE!!!!! WE'RE SO PROUD OF YOU! WE LOVE YOU!" they were waiting at the door of your house with a cake and banner in their hands.

"thanks mom and dad. i love you too"

you ate cake and celebrated. you received an email telling you where/when to go. school wasn't the easiest, but you made it for the week you had left before leaving.

taglist- send an ask or comment to be added

[weirdo09]

red head girl pt. 2

a max mayfield x gn! reader fic based on s2

when the two of them made it to the arcade, max unintentionally grabbed hold of [name]’s hand and let them in. [name] smiled softly, enjoying the feel of her hand on theirs. after getting tokens, max turned to [name] “wanna play dig dug?” max asked with a glint of excitement in her eyes. “yea, sure.” [name] replied with a half smile on their face. max had already dropped their hand but the warmth still stayed on [name]’s. they went over to dig dug, max cracked her knuckles and began to play. “you’re madmax?!” [name] said a little surprised, “yea, why?” max said casually, eyes still on the game. “my friend, dustin’s been trying to beat your record!” [name] said breathlessly, secretly impressed by max’s skills.

max chuckled “oh, yea? so he’s DUSTIN?” she asked smugly “yea, he’s very set on it too.” [name] said with a laugh. “well, might as well make it harder for ‘im, he likes a challenge, right?” max said with smugness. [named] nodded in agreement, kinda of feeling sorry for dustin when he comes back to the arcade. they played games for a good hour or so then, they decided it was time to go.

after getting home, [name] flopped on their bed, reminiscing the day they had. they ran to the phone to tell will about the date. “RING” “RING” the phone rung for a minute until joyce answered the phone “who is it?” “hi, ms. byers it’s [name], can i talk to will real quick?” [name] asked “oh sure thing, let me get him.” joyce replied. a minute or two later, will came on the phone “how was the hangout?” will asked, wanting all the details.“it was….nice.” [name] said softly. “soooo, do you like her?” will said smirking “i guess? i don’t know, what if she doesn’t like me back?” [name] said “oh, i’m sure she does.” will said knowingly. “you always know how to cheer somebody up, willie.” [name] said, chuckling. “i am your best friend, after all.” will said, rolling his eyes playfully. “well, i’ll see you on monday?” [name] asked. “sure thing, see you.” will said before he hung up the phone.

on monday, [name] kept thinking of what they’d say to max. ‘do i act casual?’ ‘do i act cool?’ ‘hell, i don’t even know what cool is’ [name] thought as they walked through the school doors. they were still pondering as they arrived to their locker. when they were opening it, max touched their shoulder. [name] flinched and turned around, there was max. “hey, you ok?” max says with the tiniest hint of worry in her voice. “oh yea, i’m fine, just been feeling a little on edge.” [name] said nervously. “oh ok.” max said a little suspicious. the bell rang and [name] scurried off to their class. max watched as they left, still confused.

“oh shit, i definitely messed up will!” [name] whispered-yelled to will as mrs. smith was boringly explaining something on the projector. “i’m sure it’s fine, we all get nervous.” will whispered back, writing down everything mrs. smith says. “will, [name] is there something you two would like to share with the class?” mrs. smith said dully “no, mrs. smith…” [name] replied in the same tone. will chuckled softly as mrs. smith turned around to continue.

after that insanely long class, [name] decided on what to say to max. they speed walked to their locker. “max!!!” [name] said panting. “are you okay?” max said with the smallest hint of worry in her tone.(she’s starting to care for you) [name] took a couple more gulps for air before they continued. “i-i’m sorry about this morning, i didn’t know what to say and that just came out!” [name] said all in one go. max had yet to process the information they gave so they sat in comfort silence for a minute. “oh, really?” “i thought you had something else going on but ok.” max said with a light chuckle, [name] sighed with relief glad that max didn’t hate them like they thought she would.

“well, i’ll see you around?” [name] said hopefully. “yea.” max replied with a half smile on her face.

after school, [name] went to meet up with will(what can i say? they’re besties) “WILL!!!” [name] said excitedly, running over to their friend. the party stared at [name] for a minute and will chuckled at their behavior. “hey [name], what’s got you so cheerful?” will said, fully knowing the answer to that question.

they scooted closer to will and whispered “can i talk to you in private?” will nodded and said bye to the rest of the party while [name] dragged him over away from them to hear. “so, i talked to max and there’s no hard feelings!” [name] said full of relief. “that’s good but when are you going to tell her about yk?” will asked curiously.

[name] began to grimace, “well i don’t know i mean what if she does like me the same way? what if she just sees me as nothing more than a friend and i embarrass myself, will?” [name] began to spiral into these negative thoughts until will firmly squeezed their hand and gave them a smile. “c’mon now i’ve seen the way she looks at you..” “it’s pretty obvious.” will says hopeful “almost as obvious as the way you and mike look at each other?” [name] said with a sly grin, will began to blush “what? no of course not! anyways, this is about you, not me!” will said quickly, still blushing.

“oh of course so how do you think i tell her about my feelings?” [name] asked “maybe tell her at the snow ball?” “you two could slow dance and then you could tell her right there?” will suggested, [name] look at him with astonishment “you really don’t know who i am, do you?” [name] said sarcastically “whatever, who knows it might work!” will said optimistic “well i guess so, what should we do?” [name] asked and this would be what will called operation bring max and [name] together.(it’s a work in progress - will b.)

there will be a part three soon(maybe)

hope you enjoyed!

tags list: @vibeybyler @will-the-wisest33 @adorewillbyers @byleriscannonparty @thebylerfiles @verashalurks @foodiewithdahoodie @atbyler

[crushed-starlight]

welcome back to me stealing ideas from @about-the-two-of-us !!

todays episode: i might turn this into a more general digital diary about my social life, rather than focusing so much on crushes. ysee this is what happens when i have to spend a whole half-day without meadow lmao

anyway !! here’s updates :D

meadow went away for the weekend to visit a friend :(( so we couldn't hang out BUT before their train we still went to class together and made jokes about the place they’re visiting and they left their snacks in my bag so i got to see them briefly again to give them back right before they left n we hugged goodbye at the place we first hung out aaaa

that was last weekend, n since then a ton of wild lore has happened !! its been literally 4 days how is any of this real.

monday evening jiji and odie hung out in my dorm and watched some youtube videos from a channel that odie and i rly like that we're trying to introduce jiji to !! those two r always so kind to me im rly glad i have them as friends rn. otherwise the stuff w meadow would be way more taxing i think

tuesday evening i went over to meadow's place after class !! i played a game they introduced me to (they like backseat gaming for this one hehe) and he gave me tons of tips on how to get a good build n i ended up getting further than i ever have before on my last run of the evening !!

and on wednesday (yesterday) meadow and i went on a mini shopping trip after class, then went back to their dorm again for a mini movie marathon !! we got through the first 2 hunger games movies since i hadn't seen them before and meadow is hype to watch the new one that just came out. i rly enjoyed them !! not my favorites ever but i can totally see what the hype is about. and for bonus points, one of my 2 best friends from before uni ,, we'll call them fish (new character alert !!) watched them too super recently so i can talk to them abt it !! fish is the coolest and im gonna be around them more this winter since i'm goin back to their town for a while :D but fr meadow and i watched the first 2 movies in his bed under the covers :,D not quite cuddling bc im a COWARD but squished up next to each other sharing snacks :3 thats still a win in my book !!

aaaaaaaaaaand then came earlier today >< i had a class with goose which was fun but she dipped after that to go study and i walked home alone. when i got back meadow started messaging me that someone they met on their weekend away (a friend of a friend) was messaging them n theyre DOWN BAD. they were GUSHING TO ME AND ITWAS TORTURE i am in actual hell !!!!!!!! turns out hearing ur crush gush about their crush ,, kinda hurts your soul in a way that you feel !! the conversation ended but now im thinkin i should rly confess soon just to save myself the trouble ;; idk how long its healthy to stay in friendship limbo like this.

[crdsnystories]

today was a story of hope, patience and trust. Last weekend, i am loaded with school works due to my preliminary exams plus im also a secretary in our organization. Today, monday supposedly was the submission of accreditation files and my prelim exam for a major subject. Yesterday i am filled with emotions, I've been over my laptop the whole day, busy scanning, editing and filling up all the forms for accreditation. I was planning on finishing them all because today was the deadline but due to some miscommunications and stressful events i didn't finish the files yesterday so i ended up breaking down and crying over my ate's side. Im telling pat that im so stressed and couldn't do this anymore. I was crying and laying down because im so tired and stressed. overwhelmed on what to do next. im scolded by my senior, kasi he was shocked by the total price na nagastos ko sa print. he told me that next before i make a move is to consult him muna. gaslighting myself was the only thing i did as i rest. my family was so eager to push me na magpahinga na muna, not me holding back my tears because i don't want to feel that thing anymore its reminding me of the trauma i had before. every move i make yesterday i feel like im going to end up dropping out again because of anxiety. But yesterday, pat messaged me that he will go here as i messaged him na "ayoko na, im tired. all i want is to cry." he was at his friend's bday but as soon as he came back from candelaria he headed right away here sa house. fast forward today. i woke up vv early para maabutan ko na ako ang kaunahan sa printing shop sa bayan but i ended up waiting for a long period of time & then my professor announced that our exam will be movex tomorrow so yay because wala pa akong review and all. going back, I had to think of another plan because pag iniintay ko sa iisang printing shop matatagalan ako lalo (i need to xerox all the printed files from yesterday para less magastos) so i messaged khaila and asked her if she is not busy kasi magpapasama ako. and yes she's not busy. so im with her we roam around quezon avenue just to look for a book binding shop and printing shop. afterwards, we went to sacre kasi dun daw yung may bookbind. yes we were naligaw kasi nalimutan nung senior ko kung san yung place imagine walking around merchan st. wearing a full white uniform in this heat. then we end up there para mag pa bookbind. dumating na yung asst. secretary namin, she helped us and stuff then we decided to split ways. she went back to school to ask the Office of Student Affairs kung pede tomorrow mag pasa ng accreditation files. thank You Lord they agreed na pede. afterwards khaila & i went home. rest a bit and yay for nanay for treating us mcdo. at 2pm we went back sa printing shop para kunin yung bookbind. All i did was to pray na sana tapos na lahat ng bookbind para madala ko na sa school lahat. thankfully, pagdating namin dun tapos na lahat & na dala ko na sa school. my senior was there & he was light no stress at all.

before going out the house all i felt was anxiety. gusto ko nalang wag tumuloy sa pag aasikaso kasi baka mamaya mapagalitan na naman ako. but no, today was a Jesus encounter. He made everything light and assured me that my stress will be gone away. So He sent me pat to be there because He knows that pat is my safe place, he even told me that he wanted to attend the mass too sadly we didn't make it because of the traffic but we still went there, another one is He sent me khaila & claire for they helped me get through this "pag-aasikaso ng red book day" The Lord helped me today, from waking me up until ending this day. He made sure that everything will be smooth sailing. we had a smooth talk with the osa, we had a smooth conversation with our organization's adviser & we had a smooth settlement with my senior. The Lord truly reminded me that the anxiety of my heart will be replaced with gratefulness of my soul. Bonus that my family will always be my back up. Nanay for the mcdo, ate tet for the gentle pat in the back that its not my fault and tatay for assuring me that everything i need is in that place.

forever grateful for these grace and life. i don't know if im giving back enough to Him. but I know that everything is possible because of Him.

[milkeyrainbow]

Why can’t I just ask for help, a talk about how fucked my thoughts are…

Why my face brightens up and that fucking smile won’t come off each time I’m asked if I’m alright I automatically say “ Always and it’s wonderful “ while tightening my fists inside my pockets distracting my head from my scars that won’t stop itching and reminding me how much my skin carves more and it might be wonderful if I feed it my blood…

WHY IT TAKES HOURS TO GET MYSELF TOGETHER AFTER MENTAL BREAKDOWN AND DAYS OF GUILT, DISAPPOINTMENT, SELF DISGUST THEN ANGER TILL I RAGE HARMING AND START A CIRCLE OF ALIENATION.

And when it hits at work or in public, I might just… disappear for a moment and be back within blink of an eye👁️ no pain, no thoughts, no regrets, just more LIES AND THAT FAKE HAPPINESS AND PLAY PRETENDING THAT I CARE ABOUT EVERYONE AROUND… So I can burn down mentally, drain myself from every little positivity hidden inside me, come back home hoping that it’s the last trip of my life…

Realise what I’ve done to myself; just a little scratch to ground my thoughts and irritating itching, will be gone by tomorrow…- It won’t be gone, because it wasn’t just a “scratch” never was, never will be, just dirty, deep, trench dug deep under my skin that should be cleaned and stitched up or at least sealed tightly…

And the circle is closing… How could I let it happen? Why didn’t I just tell someone I’m not fine? I’m sure it was just a mark but.. I don’t even know anymore…

Now I’m sitting on the bathroom floor gazing into nothing, I hear the whispers, random conversation between people I care about, I know… I’m alone, nobody knows about my pretty little shiny mask I just wore crashing and falling into pieces… “ I forgot my prescription pills again… Well it ain’t helping shit” thinking that maybe the voices ain’t real but they’re right, I know- I am a fucking monster, I’m a lier, I’m useless, waste of air, a piece of flesh with no soul, IM NEVER ENOUGH, that’s why my father died, my grandparents, my friends, my dog- the only sunshine I’ve had left my childhood loyal friend, baby, reason I’m alive… GONE… I should join them… NO I SHOULD BREATHE AND GET THESE FUCKING PILLS all of them at once JUST ONE PLEASE ye one for each voice that’s getting louder and one for each death you caused I CANT BREATH I CANT THINK ITS TOO LOUD!

It’s cold I’m shivering on a bathroom floor, I’m naked and there’s blood all over me, my head hurts, I need something for that headache, I need to take pills and iron tablets… I don’t want to look, I don’t want to know, just lukewarm bubble bath… it burns, I don’t care anymore, I failed myself again, the weight and sick fear against myself crushes me down, I won’t be able to wash it off, NHS… well… pills might calm down vocal hallucinations but won’t calm down my thoughts and physical sickness I’ll carry with me for the next couple of weeks…antipsychotics and sleeping tablets are addictive so I’ve been told to go for a evening walk before going to bed *Qualified staff* NHS and my doctors didn’t stand even close to “qualified people” but I’ll take an advice…

And here I am, on the edge of a trespass bridge above M25, smoking cigarette and fantasising about death, the “ easy way out” I feel it, I’m waiting for that slight impulse that will take me to nothingness. TODAY IS THE DAY FUCK THAT SHIT!

“RAINBOW!” I hear my coworker in a distance, it has to be a pisstake mate! “ Are you alright? What are you doing here?” Annoying voice continues like a painful static in your brain. “Always, wonderful! Living the dream, ain’t mine but still, having evening walk advised, fresh air fresh mind, getting ready for tomorrow, it’s Monday innit” I feel my insides collapse, turning my stomach upside down each time I hear those words my mouth spits out without any consent… I’m scared, I don’t want to go through that again… If there’s God please have mercy…. My eyes are filling up with a single teardrop it managed to produce in the past two months as I walk off the trespass next to my colleague- She talks about some sort of inspection and a visit from higher management. I hear my voice, I can’t distinguish the words… I’m laughing and jumping from excitement… it feel like a movie but instead of being cosy and munching popcorn I’m hyperventilating and whining silently while shattered, sharp pieces of the mask that broke in the bathroom last night comes back piece by piece piercing violently my pale face, like little lightweight, mist-like raindrops when falling on your face in November evening as you gaze into the universe admiring its creations before the dark clouds will take it all away from you and the darkness will embrace you promising the sunlight in the morning…

My raindrops are made from glass and pins and razor blades, and it’s not like a mist, more like heavy rainstorm hitting your face as you speed 200m/ph with nothing protecting you from cruelty and reality of human trauma, mental illnesses, loneliness, worst fears, helplessness and lack of empathy and understanding… fear of rejection… No reason that keeps you alive, reason I’ve been looking for every single day, one point proving I me there is something… Everything loses its meaning, once your skin and flesh had turn into nothing and all the pieces that caused you so much pain drill into your skull… it turns into a new face, your one doesn’t matter anymore, nobody seen the real face why would they care, all THEY know is that shining smile, bright face that cares only about others, always happy and ready to cheer everyone around up! THIS IS THE FACE YOU DREAMT ABOUT! CONGRATULATIONS NOW EVERYONE KNOW YOU AS SOMEBODY THAT YOU WILL NEVER BE! IT WILL AFFECT YOUR ACTIONS TOO!

MAKE FRIENDS YOU WONT LIKE, GOING CLUBS YOU HATE, DRINKING TEQUILA! HAVING FUN, TAKE FUCK TONNES OF DRUGS AND SIGN UP FOR SHIT YOU WILL NEVER GO!

Sounds nice… it used to be helpful, most of the time it was fun, then it just went downhill, putting the mask on and taking it off hurts more and more, so you decide to leave it on, so it takes control over your body, it melts into one - The Monster that will slowly kill you, destroy your body, relationships, strong bonds you’ve been creating with family and childhood friends, it will push away people you love most and become nobody, It turns you into a cutting board, knife holder and tear keeper for anyone you meet. It will make fun of your own trauma and insecurities until it will wear off and eventually the mask will fall off your face and break into a bilion pieces and turn into a shotgun shell that will blow your face off twice as much as in the beginning, but until it will you’re left alone, bleeding out ashamed, scared and filled with frustration real YOU leaving you on your own with you people you don’t know in the body you don’t recognise anymore… it will wait for the annihilation of your own being… It will wait until you won’t be able to live your own live and proceed with eternal sleep hopefully or you will try to retrieve what once was yours, family, friends, old habits, just so it can come back again, causing more damage, so you will give up…

Time is verifying your choice slowly… DONT LET IT USE YOU AS OLD TAPE IN A LOOP, JUST LIKE UT DID TO ME AND AGAIN AND AGAIN… but each time I’m back to this monsters live I care less, I have no purpose in my life I want to die, but I won’t let my monster be, I will suffer as long as THAT suffers, I guess we both waiting for the moment where the body can’t handle no more and stops its function and will get buried with or without the mask on…

THIS IS THE WAR WITH MYSELF…

I don’t even know if all that make any sense I couldn’t stop writing, the whispers created a white noise and ye, this is how I feel and struggle with, English is not my first language but since I’m living in the uk it just comes and goes and… why the fuck am I writing it ? Nobody fucking cares, I’m laying in my bed isolated, no fucking intention to crawl out of it… is too loud, I need to hide my arms till it will heal up… and I don’t want that fucking thing back, I just want to be me, fucking rotting in bed no sleep no food just me myself and I and books and that fucking phone finally made something useful I don’t answer the text or calls, I’m talking with …. Nevermind nobody will ever fucking read it xd

Jebać stare baby prądem i czcić Boga Hideo KOJIMA amen 🙏🏻

Zagrałabym w death stranding brakuje 4 prepersow na full pizde i będę miała max, wszystko wbite, każdy zadowolony.

W tedy zacznę ja od początku na super hard.

Pozdrawiam… a chuj w sumie nie mam kogo NARTY SANKI DPIERDALAM.

[pbandjesse]

We are driving back home. The memorial service was thankfully more about supporting each other. I did not cry. If I think about it to hard I might. But I made it through a day that could have been a disaster but worked out because I made it happen. Im only a little proud of that.

I did not sleep great. I fell asleep easier then expected. But woke up with James's alarm and I couldn't fall back asleep. I was anxious about the day. I would get up at 7 when my brother texted me and I had to ask James to handle that while I got ready.

I would feel alright. A little absent of myself. Like I look in the mirror and I'm not connecting to my own eyes. That happens sometimes. But I tried to look good and was happy with my face and hair. The trim I gave myself last night I think helped.

James changed our sheets while I finished getting myself together. Then we hugged and I was off.

I forgot to bring any breakfast and I didn't want to stop anywhere. I also forgot the keys to the art building. But I was not interested in going inside. So I just didn't. I would make it work when I got to camp.

It was a nice drive. And I got there right before 8. And I got to be helpful right away because there was a guy at the bottom of the hill who was lost.

He was there to reseed the field but it was literally his third day and he was a little confused and wasn't given enough info. So I'm glad I was able to help. Once I got parked at the art building I walked down to the office and got Heather on the phone and she told me to send him to the feild. And I was able to help him figure out how to get his truck over there. We walked the feild together and I opened the fence.

While I waited for him to drive around I went to see if we had cake left in the freezer. Which we did so I was excited for breakfast cake. And then I called the doctor's.

They were really nice about it and changed my appointment to 1. So I could stay at camp until 1230. They were really chill about it. Which would be surprising later when I found out that everyone who normally comes on Monday came today because of the holiday (including me) and so they had twice as many patients as normal. And we're training two new injection people. So it was quite a day and I appreciate how kind they were getting my appointment changed.

I would help lawn guy move all the astroturf and collected any sports equipment I could find. And let him know I would be on the porch if he needed anything.

I went down to the office and set myself up at the table. I used my phone's hotspot since I couldn't get on the wifi with the door locked. But that's fine. I ate my, still mostly frozen, cake and worked on my laptop.

I finished tightening up a few things in my lesson plans and making sure the supply list was good to go. I would start making a list of where the tribes were speaking about are on the continent so I could circle that on the different maps. So each program will have a visual for where they are speaking about. Which I think will help them figure out what different natural resources would be available.

Heather would show up around then. She said we need to get me an office key. I'm not to worried about it. I will probably be more worried when it's cold out. Though I was really sweaty and was happy to get some AC.

Heather would help me get on the wifi and showed me how to scan things to my laptop. And then would spend the next hour working on my maps.

Lou, Alexi's dad, would come to talk to Heather about horses. Continues to forget who I am but remembered James. Handsome Jimmy as he call them. We talked about his granddaughter who is maybe going to Temple. For field hockey. So I got to talk about the nice things about philly. That was fun.

I would take a walk to the art building with the extra key. I put away the stuff I brought. And then took a walk to the nature center but it was locked. Heather likes my idea about the snail tank but we need to find the key to the building. Joe probably had it but he wasn't around. Maybe tomorrow I'll figure that out.

Heather would have me start collecting some emails. Which was not as straight forward as I was expecting. But I got some at least. And once I was at a good stopping point me and Heather went on a walk to woodlands.

We would write a list of things that I could work on down there. Painting. Creating. Cleaning. Moving furniture. It was nice to talk through the projects and the spaces. I'm pretty happy about it. But I was also starting to get slightly a little stressed about needing to leave for my appointment.

We would finish up exactly on time though. We got back to the office. Where Elizabeth and Alexi were and I said hello and then goodbye!

I stopped to fill my water and then I drove the 40 minutes to the rhumatologist. I got there 1 minute before my appointment.

Not that it mattered. They had my paperwork at the bottom of the pile, because I'm the last one usually. And they would get me back quick. But I could hear everything. And that's when I heard that they were crazy busy and backed up. So I would have a wait. About 49 minutes. Ah well.

The nice lady came and did my injections though and they hurt a bit today. But it's fine. I was glad it was done. I made my appointment for next month. And was out the door before 2.

I stopped over at the Dunkin and got munchkins to share with James. And then home.

When I got back to the house I was excited that there were packages. The screen protector came for my tablet. And a new dress I ordered. And a book. I found James trying to iron their shirt but the iron wasn't actually on so that was funny.

I got overheated trying to put the screen protector on. But I did my best and it's mostly correct. I'm just glad it's safer now. I was super sweaty though.

So I took a shower. And got dressed again. James made me a bagel. And I had an hour to just sit and calm down before we had to be on the road again.

We left at 345. And it wasn't a bad drive at all. We didn't have to deal with any traffic. We weren't driving directly into the sun. I was anxious but only a little. I brought my knitting and completed one square. We passed Jess's exit and we waved. We arrived in the town at 530.

We went to Wawa for gas. James felt weird that someone pumped our gas. But that's just jersey. And then we went inside and got sandwiches to eat in the car.

I was mostly just focusing on being with my husband. And that I was looking forward to hugging my family. I couldn't handle the other emotions. Those are very deep and I can't focus on them or I'll fall apart.

When we got to the funeral home I was convinced we were in the wrong place. There were a lot of people and I didn't recognize anyone so I was sure I messed up. And then my mom and my brother weren't answering me so I was sure I messed up.

But thankfully Steve would pull up and my parents and Felicia were with him. Everything was alright again.

And it was a lot of people. Sabrina's friends. Audrey's friends. AA people. Bikers. People in memorial sweatshirts. Which the turnaround in having that made was impressive.

We went in the line to see all the pictures of Sabrina. I forgot how dark her hair was when she was younger. Seeing all the pictures of her with friends. She looked so grown up.

Hugging everyone helped. Audrey and Nadine both kept saying thank you to me and James for coming. For driving so long. But honestly the only thing I could say was I wish I didn't have to be here. I wish this didn't happen. But there wasn't a chance I wasn't going to be here. I moved things to make sure I would be. It was important.

There was no service. I am glad. I would have lost it. Instead it was just everyone talking and supporting each other. It was good to be around all the people who loved Sabrina. And I particularly loved talking to my brother and Felicia. And I missed them both and it was just so nice to talk to them. The little moments feel so important. I am very worried how swollen my brother's hands were. He might have an infection from slamming his hand in a door and also poison ivy?? I hope he sees someone.

I also was glad to be with my parents. To talk to my aunt Nadine and uncle Dave who I love so much.

There was a lot of hugging. A lot of laughing. We were being as ridiculous as we normally are when we are all together. The Lentzs don't know how to now start talking about things that are probably not appropriate. We can't stop laughing when it's probably not appropriate. We supported each other by not talking about it but talking about everything else.

I enjoyed hearing about who was who from mom. And I told Nadine they need to come visit us. They went on a not great bus tour through Baltimore so I hope we can give them a better tour soon!!

But then it was time to go. The memorial was slowing down. People were leaving. We had many hugs. Nadine gave me a rose form the large bouquet. Me and Sabrina shared that middle name. I will dry some of the petals. I'll frame them.

Me and James got in the road. And we are about half way home now. I am going to finish my sandwich. And listen to this podcast. And try to just think about the good stuff. I love Sabrina and I will keep her in my thoughts forever.

I hope you are all taking care of yourselves. I love you all. Goodnight my friends. Until next time.

[conceptsformyowner]

PTJ5: Overdue punishment, breathless orgasm, and 40 hours of bondage.

Public Toy Journal 5 - 2022 07 81

Welcome! Today I tell you about how this week I was punished for disrespecting my Owner using hot sauce, I tell you some things about my new normality, and then about spending 40 hours chained to a toilet. Enjoy!

Sunday

Over the last few months, the months I've been their property, I've disrespected them 4 times. Which is to say, in Spanish i used the common singular second person forms instead of the formal and respectful ones. For this, we'd come to an agreement on a punishment. My mouth would be thoroughly washed with soap and would be left with it inside with no spitting for as many minutes as times I’d disrespected them.

However, in the time it took me to research all the info on safety and proper techniques, they got excited about an alternative punishment.

On Sunday, my Owner ordered me to go to the kitchen and kneel at the door after I finished bathing. I dried up, walked over and knelt there.

“Tongue out.”

I obeyed, opened my mouth and put my tongue out. They were making dinner, but they were also preparing something else.

In a small bowl, they poured a bunch of hot sauce, added some “ground chili” *(I'll trust google translate :s)* and started mixing it.

I knelt there, naked, tongue out, staying still while they finished mixing it up and walked over. They stood over me and placed a spoonful of the stuff on my tongue.

“Don’t move. You’re going to stay like that.” they said and walked away to continue cooking.

At first it didn't feel like much, I was already starting to suffer from just keeping my mouth like that and kneeling. Then slowly I started feeling it. It's weird, spicyness usually gets you by filling your mouth with pain, but concentrated spicyness like this is not something I've felt before. It hurt, but the worst psrt was how my body was automatically responding to it. I had started drooling a bit before, but now my body sensed my tongue was in danger and just opened all the valves. I couldnt stop, it was incredibly humilliating and disgusting. They didnt take long to give me a bowl to drool in when the cup I was making with my hands started overflowing.

It got so bad parts of it were actually making the big pile of spicy mush slide down. Chunk by chunk.

They stood there and laughed, genuinely finding it hilarious. Im fucking glad, lol

When most of the mush had slipped down, my jaw aching, they ordered me to stand up and go spit and rinse.

Quickly i went and did so, took a long damn time. They also made me clean the bowl and the part of the floor I'd drooled on.

Having learnt my lesson, I sighed and they hugged me.

“Alright, that was fun wasn't it? That was just part of it, can't wait to wash your mouth later.”

Monday

I am now spending the weekdays on a desk, logged on to a call 9am till 6pm. To show they were still in control, they started making me chain my waist to the chair just before logging on, leaving the key out of reach so that only they could release me once I was done.

They bring me food and occasionally give me tasks which i perform by walking with a chair stuck to my butt.

Wednesday

At one point, I'd said that I loved when they covered my mouth with their hand. Handgagging me while we watch stuff or just lie down.

On wednesday, they started doing that but with a twist.

They cover my mouth and my nose, blocking all airflow and slowly, patiently inform me, while I can't breathe:

“If you ever want to breathe again, cum. You can touch yourself now.”

I have. NEVER. Been so desperate and fast at that. It left me completely destroyed and unable to do anything. Fucking hard to enjoy that.

Thursday

On thursday, they passed a chain through my anklecuffs, my wristcuffs, and then my collar, forming one big loop. It's very hard to do pretty much anything, but i can still do most things. Im just more helpless, submissive, suffering, and vulnerable. I absolutely love it. Id love to spend every day like that.

For lunch, they unthreaded the chain from the collar, fearing that i would break the chair while trying to eat.

That night, I spent some time between their thighs, just suffering there, suffocating, choking, horny as fuck, in the dark, with them just outside the covers using their phone, not really acknowledging me. I love it so much, I wish they’d keep me there and use my face whenever they got bored. I wish I could sleep there.

Friday

Friday night, they gave me a couple blankets then chained my neck to their toilet. They tucked me in, on the small bathroom floor, protected from the cold by a couple of sheets, pressed between the wall and the toilet seat, they turned off the light, got to their bedroom and closed the door.

They slept really well. I didn't quite. Got unused to sleeping on the floor, should fix that.

Before they chained me up, I’d written a tumblr post for them to publish when they’d done it. They added a little paragraph and ugh, I love it so much. I'd love for them to add a little something to my posts here or there or maybe someday even make some themselves.

Saturday

Saturday morning, bored out of my mind, no entertainment other than just inspecting my surroundings, I decided I was very glad they changed their mind and decided not to keep me hooded the first 30 of our planned 50 hours of bathroom chaining.

I saw their bedroom door open. I was so excited I could pee myself, hadnt I relieved myself earlier, that's the whole reason they chained me up there, after all.

Half asleep, they kicked me lightly to indicate I should move over and let them use the toilet.

I did and they told me they slept well and asked me how I was doing. I was alright, a couple spots in my body weren't super happy, including my brain from the understimulation.

They chuckled and went back to bed.

Later that day they released me so I could take my daily cold shower, and they allowed me to have lunch with them on their bed. Shortly after though, I was back in the bathroom, the keys to my release kept meters away from me.

They gave me my notepad and a pen. I was now to write my CNC List. A list of 100 ways to use their toy with no care for the toy's possible whines complaints or shows of resistance, with a safeword emboldened and visible at the beginning. The idea is that we'll later sit down and go one item at a time, I’d explain exactly what I mean by it, write a small description, and they'll decide wether that item is something only they can do to me, wether its something people they share me with (for whom we need a better title, PLEASE) can do to me, or whether it's something anyone can do to me.

100 things. Throughout the day I wrote 89. Damn it's hard once i got past number 40.

Just as a curiosity, I asked them to quickly tell which ones they thought anyone could do to me (without warning or care for complaints, as stated), and they suddenly listed MOST OF THEM. Fucking scary. Jeez. I'm so screwed, fuck.

At one point they shared a video of my predicament with @@musingsformyowner, who I believe probably appreciated it a lot hsha.

This night, they gave me a pillow. Thank you.

Sunday

At 13hs on sunday, after what I think was about 40 hours since we started the session, we ended it for unrelated life-stuff reasons. we cuddled in bed and watched some show while they told me how proud they were of their toy.

From the whole experience, I take the following:

- Never underestimate the importance of a tiny pillow if I'm not used to sleeping face up.

- We can't do it there because it's annoying for my owner to have to move me every time they want to use the bathroom.

- Boredom makes me feel like a stored away object and makes me super happy when I'm then used and put back, I wish I could live just like that.

- Adding a rule that whenever I feel a bit physically free I had to tell them to add restraints was the best/worst rule we could've ever added. On Saturday it happened and they closely joined my neck to my feet, making me struggle to not choke. Fucking awful. Fucking amazing.

- Listing the ways i can be used is really hot, damn.

- I think i like being filmed/photographed while I'm helplessly bound or stored away. New kink unlocked, damn it.

[jurisffiction]

what do you use for journaling?

answering this from my phone which means it's probably gonna fuck up especially as i am now realising how much i want to say. as always

what i USE rn is an app called iA Writer, but technically i don't really use it/its features for journaling so much as just a .txt file organiser. the actual files are synced in a google drive folder, so i could also just open them in any notes app and start writing, but ia writer lets me see all my files at a glance (i make a new .txt file for each month, start each new entry with a big "NEW ENTRY MONDAY 9 JANUARY") and looks nice enough and recognises markdown syntax for basic formatting. i think it's a paid app but i really don't remember.

i used to use Day One (of deeply weird recent tumblr ad fame) when i was 17 or so, which helped me get started because it 1) had daily prompts and 2) had a header image input which made me feel better about just taking one photo each day and counting that as an "entry" without sitting down to write. that was also the big shift i needed to actually become a regular journaler (journalist? diarist.): i was always given cute notebooks as a kid, and even now you can open up tens of them that just have "IM SO TIIIIIIIRED" over the first page followed by reams of blanks. meanwhile i learnt to type 100wpm on msn messenger when i was 11 or whatever, but it somehow didn't click until glossy apps started dropping that i could just type journal entries and even though it wasn't the pen to paper aesthetic fantasy people usually think of, it does what i need it to (and better than paper). all journaling really is (for my purposes! there's a lot of reasons to journal, i guess) is a form of externalising thought processes and emotion to cut down on rumination, pause before impulsive actions, improve my memory and get to know myself better, so the closer i can make that activity frictionless the better — and i already spend all dang day typing anyway, so it's easy.

on that note, i also have a solo discord server i use to keep links and notes to myself, and i've got a channel in there for journaling, because ia writer on my phone WORKS but sometimes the sync overlaps and glitches, and it's just faster to dump quick thoughts into discord, especially if i'm literally just panicking at a party and want to write down something someone said to me so i can remember later.

there is an opposite mode of thinking, which is that journaling/externalising should be very distinct, and separate, and analogue, and physical, etc, to the extent that the frictive challenges of handwriting and paper and sitting at a desk rather than texting at a party etc is the point and helps with recall and the whole process of it all, but, god. i just can't do that at all. i go walking in nature each morning to ground myself in all that and i tumble out every thought and stressor and hypothetical i can wring dry from my mind into a .txt file for 5 minutes (that can turn into an hour) before i sleep each night so that i CAN sleep. but if i forget or im too busy i don't beat myself up about missing it. i stopped journaling for like 3 years then just started up again one day. i skip months sometimes. sometimes my entries are still just "TIRED". but it being a folder of text files helps me know i can start again whenever, and that if i ever want to go check something i can do it easily.

sorry this is insanely long; i've not journaled properly for weeks and it shows 😭

[khodorkovskaya]

embarrassing storytime

21.06.23

i embarrassed myself big time and now i can't think straight because i want to disappear off the face of the earth like arghdhhghgh

so i had an exam on monday. it was differential geometry which is one of the easier subjects. the prof is very chill, he's not a very good teacher but he's a good guy, you know the type.

and i uhhh... had a panic attack 5 minutes after walking into the exam room. i was shaking uncontrollably, asked to get some air and ran to the bathroom to throw up. like i was literally shaking and crying and throwing up.

so anyway, after throwing up i went back into the exam room and tried to write the exam anyway, all while shaking and still feeling super nauseous. there were lots of calculations and i kept getting things wrong like id write that 2*3 is equal to 5 and stuff like that. so yeah, i wrote god knows what.

and important context, this exam is eliminatory! so if i didn't pass, i would be kicked out of the faculty. and i would have to write an opposition letter to ask them to not kick me out. and get a doctor's note and everything. that's why i was also super stressed. because failing thing exam would possibly mean 4 years of studying down the drain.

so i finish the exam, hand in the paper, cry a little and rush to the maths counselor's office. i break down crying in front of him, saying that it's all over. he consoles me by saying they'll definitely accept the opposition letter if im kicked out, everything will be okay, ive been a good student so far, it's not that bad, etc. and he says that i should see the science faculty counselor and tell him about my situation.

so i call my parents like shit shit shit, im getting kicked out of uni. they freak out obviously. cos that means im gonna have to restart everything and graduate when im in my 30s. and basically not get a job, be a failure, etc. etc. they don't sleep the whole night, they're super worried, my stepdad and my mum get into a fight over all of this. the family is falling apart.

the next day i go see the faculty counselor and he says that if i give a doctor's note saying i suffer from anxiety before getting the grade, i have a 50/50 chance of being allowed to retake the exam. but it has to be done before they announce the grades.

i don't have a gp, i don't know any doctors, especially those who'd be okay giving me a note that says that i suffer from anxiety. my stepdad suggests that i call the therapist i used to go to back in 2020 and say that it's an emergency and that i need to see her asap.

i call the therapist, she doesn't reply so i leave a voice message, sobbing like "this is life or death, please can we schedule a session, this is urgent". thinking about this voice message makes my skin crawl like ughhh it was so bad.

then im like shit shit shit, if i can't get a note from her today, what if they announce the grades tomorrow and im getting kicked out ahhhhhhhhhh

so i message the geometry professor and the two assistants like "guys, i was shaking and crying and throwing up during the exam. im trying to get a doctor's note from my therapist before the grades drop. when are you gonna announce the grades i need to know??? i vomited everywhere, just fyi". again, very embarrassing impulsively written email.

and 10 seconds later the assistant replies like "everyone passed the exam, no worries".

and im like what.

then about an hour later the professor replies and says "i looked at your copy, your work looks pretty solid, you'll get a 4.5 and we'll announce the grades tomorrow, is that okay with you?". and im likeeeee bro

4.5

passing grade is a 4. a 4.5 is like really good. like reeeally good.

so im like shit.

what was all of this for??? why was i so dramatic for no reason?????

i made my poor parents panic for nothing.

i feel so bad.

and the therapist replied yesterday evening like "we can do a session tomorrow at 9am exceptionally". and like for what. what am i gonna say to her now??? that i was being a drama queen????

like i literally want to disappear like i feel so embarrassed. all of this drama for an easy exam. brb im gonna self isolate for a year. like i wanna kms.

and what do i say to the therapist?? like oopsie, i was just kidding. adjhdjjhdjfh i hate that i have to face the consequences of my actions.

[endermahn]

SMALL BOXING AU WENCLAIR.

Oh my god writers block for fhe IFHY series is beating my ass rn bc i lost my reference.

(Still expect a new chapter, just expect if sunday night or monday early early morning like 1am or something my time/my country time.)

So have a little Wednesday Boxer Au where shes selective mute 👍

Idk how to start it…

TRIGGER WARNINGS: none really, some violence but its VERY minor, just like “She knocks them out!” Stuff like that, saving all my detail for the series. Oo theres some mention of blood though. VERY BREIF mention of needle?

This is unchecked over, like all my other work.

No specific music, dont stop believing started playing though, so maybe its a sign?

——————

Wednesday stepped into the changing room and got dressed quite quickly.

Her match was up in 3 others.

She was used to the weighted feeling in her stomach, the feeling that tingled up her spine and left through her arms, sometimes creeping up her neck to give her an involuntary twitch to be rid of it.

The ravenette quite enjoyed it, though. The horrible feeling it gave quite euphoric, making her feel even more weightless than usual.

Untouchable.

She heard the first match end, with that the feeling grew, attempting to escape out of her mouth.

The soft, droning chatter kept her grounded, the talk of who was next, people trying to see their opponent early or just having general conversations as if they weren’t about to knock each other out a moment later.

Thing tapped softly on her thigh, and with that she looked down.

Her eyebrows questioned his actions and he signed to her

“I found your opponent.”

And with that the second match was over, cheering, clanking and over all screaming could be heard from practically miles away.

She signed back

“Where are they?”

“Follow me.”

Wednesday got up, leaving the space with her bag and water bottle behind.

After quite the short walk, she spots the character thing was describing on the way over.

Blonde, the bottoms being dyed opposing colours.

Fangs being exposed while she was laughing, intimidatingly needle like.

“This her?” Wednesday’s hand started signing, making quite klunky sounds on the table next to her.

However, she didn’t get to finish as her opponent noticed her.

She turned around and happily skipped toward.

Wednesday’s eyes were glued to her, skeptically eyeing her and checking her out to see how she could beat her.

“Hey!” She shouted out “Are you my opponent? My friends pointed you out to me a second ago!” The blonde chuckled, huffing out air. “Im Enid, pleasure to meet you. And to fight you, of course.”

The raven like girl backed up a bit, slightly frowning at such a bubbly girl.

Her hand didn’t hesitate or leave a beat to pass as she signed:

“Yes, I am your opponent. My name is Wednesday. It is a pleasure to fight you. Thing told me about you.” She struggled a bit with the last parts, not being sure how it were to translate properly.

“Ohh” Enid’s eyes were struck with realisation. “Okay I get you, Its really nice to meet you, Wednesday! And hello, thing” Her eyes calmed a bit as she said the other girl’s name, her shoulders slightly relaxing.

Thing waved to Enid happily.

“It really is nice to meet you, sometimes I go into the ring not knowing the opponent and the look in their eye kinda scares me” The taller girl huffs put happily now.

Wednesday signed quickly, now more knowing of Enid’s abilities of reading sign. “Personally I find their look of pure murder relaxing, it makes me become much more relaxed when I see that break down as they run out of stamina.”

“Ah, well its a selective likeness, I suppo-“ The bell rings out and another floor of cheering fills the gaps in the air.

“We’re on.”

“We are. Well it was nice speaking to you, and just so you aren’t disappointed, be aware my flame definitely isnt going to be put out.” Enid smiled at this, giving the other girl a wink, then she walks out and to her side.

Thing signs on the remaining girl’s shoulder.

“I like her”

Nothing could tear Wednesday’s eyes from Enid Sinclair.

[yawndaime]

i need to tell y’all about my day but in order to tell you about my day today i have to tell you about the week so far so basically i came into work on monday from my weekend off and literally 45 minutes before i got in my hospice resident passed and i came in while our head nurse was getting her ready for the funeral home barely had a second to process that before i had to run across to the memory care facility because i was 30min late for our covid booster shots and they had already switched buildings, i went to the facility got stared down by one of our alzheimer’s residents (i never know what he’s gonna do like hug me grope me dance with me it depends on the day) got my shot and walked back to the assisted living residence, funeral home came i helped pack up my resident (may she rest in peace) and not 30 minutes later my arms getting sore and i’m shaking like a leaf the boosters already fucking me and my other residents up and i still gotta help them through the night.

anyway night finishes up i go home im feeling mad sick can’t eat dinner, head spinning, nauseous, cold as fuck, besties texting me and asking how im handling the death i can barely even respond cause im trying not to die myself, finally pass out then i wake up teeth chattering literally shaking i can’t even get up to use the bathroom im so cold but eventually i pass out again i keep doing this until 1pm now it’s time to get ready for work again. i get there i feel like shit, my residents feels like shit, the med techs feel like shit, one resident throws up at dinner, another one is yelling at us constantly and ringing her pager in her sleep, all around tough day i go home at 11pm i pass out

TODAY im off because i had a root canal today scheduled for 10 am. i am jolted awake by the sound of my sister in law and brother arguing, it is 9am i was in no way going to wake up in time without their dysfunctional relationship. i wait for them to stop, i brush my teeth and go to the dentist, the man has to stop and numb me 5 separate times over the course of the procedure because im burning through the anesthesia too quickly and i keep twitching because i can feel the drilling (he might’ve numbed me more throughout but he specifically had to stop 5 times for the anesthetic to kick in) the whole thing takes 3-3 1/2 hours i get home i call my mom she thanks god im safe and then proceeds to remind me of that time a dentist put me in a straight jacket because ive always had a problem with being highly sensitive to pain i say goodnight and now im eating curry

[kochlandhomestead]

10/01/22

Wow did September really just fly by like that? Feels like just 2 weeks ago I was doing this for August but heres my self accountability post for the end of the 9th month of 2022

Lets start with the ol resale business. Historical Days was a big success. I got rid of a lot of my old stock from the shed and made a nice profit on the weekend. Really wish I could get to more festivals and markets. That was a goal for this year that I am failing at. eBay had gone cold since the first week of September but I had 3 sales this week. With 4th quarter starting now hopefully it will be getting even better. I learned a lot last week at eBay open, lets see if I can transform that into sales. I also am looking into a booth at a local flea market that is open on Fridays. Possibly going to open there in November. Its a risk and a big step but it just may be time.

Classes started Monday in my Ag science and organic growing classes. Its been a challenge this week but I feel im back in the flow. I even got my first week assignment done early, y'all know thats a big one for me.

Things around the Homestead are winding down into what I refer to as hibernation time. The garden is ready to be put to bed, hopefully I get to that nexg week. Pears and apples need picked. Gotta dig potatoes yet and see how that harvest is. Lots of little things but its about over.

I didn't have a single Wrestling show this month. We did do our company picnic last Saturday but besides that nothing. The quiet is killing me. October has a couple but November is really bare. Gotta do something about this.

My TV back log has gotten worse. Im weeks behind on Wrestling. Its really ridiculous lol. I haven't watched any of She-Hulk or House Of Dragons. Seems everyday I add on another episode or 5 of the network shows that I try to catch as much of as possible like FBI or Law & Order. I haven't even seen the new Thor yet. I am caught up on Andor of course and am still working through my rewatch of Fear the walking dead. For someone that completely cut the cord this list is nuts!

Speaking of cutting the cord lets discuss my "off grid" life as it is. So many projects and ideas I had for the summer went unstarted. I really had hoped to have a little wood stove set up but not even close. I did get a bucket washing machine built for hand washing and of course my water collection system grew nicely. But still im way behind even though im far better than I was last year at this time.

My health has been good and ive really been doing well at eating. Im near my calorie goal almost everyday. Cooler weather really helps as does less time spent working outside. Now to finally start regular workouts again.

With just a month to go its time to start really planning and working on the upcoming holiday season here and at the Santa House. All while trying to enjoy spooky season too. Its a juggling act sometimes.

The personal life thing is pretty much as wacky as always. Mom and Dad have both been doing good. Dad has a bum shoulder but he says it is feeling a little better. Tyler has been coming around a little bit more now that he has Whiskey to take out. She sure is a cutie and becoming a good pal of mine. I been thinking again about a new cat or dog. Maybe near Christmas? My special person and myself have had a difficult time of getting together. Always seems to be something come up. Its hard with busy lives and a bit of a distance between us. We have plans for next Saturday so hopefully.... It was great to hang out with the Wrestling family last week, tomorrow I get more of that plus the Town Meeting crew. Having a small social life is sad at times but it makes me enjoy it more when it happens. A goal for 2023 is more interaction with friends and family and less alone time!

I think thats enough for tonights book. If you made it through thanks for reading. These things are always kinda hard for me to do but I really feel that they along with you who do read help me keep myself in check.

[commaclear]

[she took the kids au] -- so about four to five months after fundy "left",,, a lot changed. wilbur now worked from home. techno came by often, he never really spoke about work, he made sure to leave out fundy especially in conversation. wilbur spends his day either in his bed working, playing a pretty acoustic guitar quackity had bought him for their anniversary. sometimes tommy comes and plays video games with him after school. he likes life now,,, well as much as you can when 4/7 days a week you cry yourself to sleep. quackity always stops by 2 or 3 days to spend the night. sometimes they watch a movie and cuddle,, other times a little more than that. one morning the two wake up, smiling tiredly and exchanging heavenly soft kisses. "mmm,,, wil, its Monday,," "cant you call in a sub?" "I gotta save those days for emergencies,,," quackity kissed wilburs forehead. "slimes over at karls this week,,, so I can come Tuesday night how about that?" wilbur thought for a second like he had an actual schedule, "yeah that sounds nice," he sat up and grabbed quackitys phone to give him, "we can meet at the bar, maybe catch a movie!" he suggested "I love that!" quackity tied his tie and folded up the pajamas he wore last night.

the two walked out the house and over to quackitys car, wilbur missing the concerned look from his brother and phil. Quackity buckled in his car and spoke to wilbur causally about their Wednesday night plans. "so 5 sounds good?" quackity whispered to wilbur

"yeah, thats good with me." wilbur smiled and leaned closer to quackity

"maybe dress up a lil bit, you could wear that shirt I always like,,," quackity drew closer and closer towards wilbur and stared at his lips. "you gonna give me a goodbye kiss or,,,?" wilbur smiled and quackity kissed him lovingly the two pulled away laughing, quackity looked up into wilburs eyes, soon sending a worried look to the eyebags becoming more and more apparent.

wilbur watched quackity drive off. As he headed inside, he noticed techno giving him a strange glance. "what?" "nothing" "do you have something to say?" "nope, you can head upstairs because I'm perfectly fine." wilbur felt that angry feeling creep up, ignoring phils look telling him to go upstairs and sleep in. "no I think you're upset about something," wilbur walked towards what I cant feel a little happy while drowning in a pit of despair?"

"im not against you being happy wilbur, im just making sure this isn't some spiral you're taking quackity for a ride in"

"excuse me?!" "he left four and a half months ago wil, there's no way you've just- completely moved on from that!" techno huffed, " and quackitys got enough stress right now! " "I know that! and were both fine! why cant you just leave me alone and stay out of me and my boyfriends business!" "not when its causing my dad and my family stress!" "techno-" phil pleaded. "wha-" wilbur looked over to phil, "what stress am I causing you?! i work, I eat, I sleep, and do everything I can to help you around!" "wilbur its okay, I'm not stressed over you," phil turned to techno, "please, don't start this now." "what? i cant be a genius or a prodigy so I'm just a stress hazard for everyone!? yeah I know having a 30 year old that still lives with his dad and isn't allowed to have any contact with his kid isn't such a great footnote during interviews!" wilbur yelled "wilbur! you know that's not true!" phil stood up in anger. "yeah I'm sure its not! its definitely not the reason you haven't spoken jack shit about technos new book deal!" wilbur started to starom upstairs "Language! tommy right here" techno yelled "oh fuck you!" wilbur screamed before he slammed his door. techno sat back in his seat and huffed. wilbur grabbed one of his pillows and muffled the biggest scream ever before punching it aggressively. He fell onto his bed and curled up, feeling significantly colder than he did just 30 minutes ago.

*hand trembling with either pain or excitement, I slowly hand you a cheap souvenir mood ring*