#hmm perhaps I should readmore this actually

[aethersea]

you know what, I never do these things, but actually I’ve decided I would like to get to know people better! I would like to partake of the mortifying ordeal! I would like to talk about myself for a bit!

ok for the next...let’s say five days I will answer any of these things that people tag me in, or any random personal questions you plop in my ask box. I don’t have an ask meme on hand but just....pick one you’ve seen recently, or make up questions of your own, and I’ll answer. (the answer might be ‘nope that’s private’ but I will answer.) (@ the anon who asked for book recs - I see you, I’ve been thinking of books all day, I’m going to give you SUCH a long answer, I hope you don’t regret your choices bc it WILL be full of gushing)

alright, let’s go!

🌻 Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

Tagged by @booksandchainmail​

Last Song: I’m currently listening to “Falcon in the Dive” from the Scarlet Pimpernel musical on loop. I watched one or two Scarlet Pimpernel movies when I was just barely too young to fully get what was going on, and the story’s held an odd but deep-seated place in my heart ever since. A few years ago I found out there’s a musical and most of the songs are pretty stellar (go listen to “Madame Guillotine” if you like big ensemble broadway numbers, it’s a banger, the bit where he cries out for God has been running through my mind on and off for a few days now haha not like that’s topical or anything), so every once in a while I spend a few days listening to them a lot.

Sometime last year I read the actual book, and got super into the whole concept of the Scarlet Pimpernel for a while. I plotted out Pimpernel aus for several fandoms, I read the entire wikipedia article, and I went looking for bootlegs of the musical. I didn’t find one, but I did find a full radioplay-style recording of the script, complete with full musical numbers, and listened to it like a podcast.

Reader, I was so disappointed. The play adds some scenes, bc a lot of the dramatic tension of the novel comes from internal conflict and that doesn’t stage super well, and the very first scene of this play – a play written in the NINETIES – features our dashing hero rescuing some aristocrats from a French prison, and then saying to the person in the next cell, who begs for rescue but is not an aristocrat, “We have enough of your kind in England.”

Enough! of your KIND! What in the merry frickety HECK my dudes!! The book has some rather unfortunate™ takes but it is from 1905, it’s regrettable but sadly to be expected. This play is from 1997. It has NO excuse. This scene wasn’t even in the book! What! the heck!

I was so disheartened that I lost my excitement for the play, and a couple songs later I stopped listening. It occurred to me just a few days ago that you could actually stage that ironically, with the person in the cell giving the audience a “can you believe this” look, and then the rest of the play could feature assorted non-aristocratic ensemble members constantly looking at the audience like they’re on The Office. And hey, maybe that’s what they did, or something similar – maybe that was never meant to be taken as a cleanly heroic stance, and the play deals with it in a complex way. It’s possible. I wouldn’t know. Kinda doubt it though, based on song lyrics.

Favorite Color: red, probably

Last Movie: I watched that new lesbian christmas movie with my family for christmas, the one with kirsten stewart and the guy from schitt’s creek. it’s very sweet and good and kinda sad, and I really enjoyed it. it also incidentally has the best gay best friend trope in probably anything ever, bc it’s not a trope (I didn’t realize until several hours after watching that it technically fits), it’s just a guy who is the protagonist’s best friend, and they’re just all gay, and then when he Gives Relationship Advice as a gay best friend always does, it’s advice about how to deal with your partner’s hangups around coming out.

actually every part of the gay best friend trope becomes better when they’re just best friends who are both gay. the big dramatic gestures (in this case, driving some ungodly distance in the snow on no notice) go from “haha how kooky” to “queer man will do anything he needs to to rescue his queer friend from an isolating & potentially triggering situation”. the relationship advice isn’t “honey you deserve some self-respect, treat yourself”, it’s a deeply sincere reminder of the vulnerability that is shared across almost everyone’s queer experience, and look I could ramble about this for a long time before reaching a coherent point but I’m INTO IT, okay? I’m into it.

Last Show: you want me to remember what show I last finished???? impossible, cannot be done, it was a long time ago and the adhd has eaten everything that happened before last week. here, instead I’ll tell you about another movie I watched, late at night with my mom in cozy companionship just a couple days ago. it’s called Quigley Down Under and it’s about a cowboy who goes to Australia and kills a bunch of racists, 10/10 would watch again. it’s from 1990 but it feels much older, with the music choices and the cinematography of a 70s Western. the cowboy is great, honorable and fearless and kind, but the breakaway star of this movie for me is the woman who attaches herself to his side and refuses to leave. her name is Cora, and she’s crazy, in the sense that she’s not altogether tethered to reality, but this never for a second diminishes her agency. she’s fierce and clever and compassionate, and she basically never does anything she doesn’t want to in the whole movie. her arc is about overcoming trauma by taking charge of her own fear and facing it head-on, she is never belittled or dismissed by the narrative or the protagonist, and look she’s just so cool. I love her. she’s so vibrantly alive. her story could probably have been handled with a bit more nuance, but honestly for the 90s it’s pretty great. I’m no expert, but I found nothing objectionable in it, just a bit of heavy-handedness.

anyway the theme of the movie is that racism is evil and racists deserve to be shot, and this too could have been handled better (not a single aboriginal character speaks a single line of english in this movie), but it follows through on that message in every way, while still being a fun kinda campy cowboy movie. overall a very good time.

Currently Watching: started showing my sister Hilda the other day, and she’s liking it! I love that show, it’s so incredibly cute. can’t wait to see season 2

Currently Reading: lmao I wish. lately the brain has firmly rejected all attempts to read anything of any length. currently pending, bc I was halfway through them when my brain stalled out, are tano’s fic What Does Kill You Can Make You Stronger, Too, a Toby Daye book - I think it was The Brightest Fell, I got like half a chapter in and haven’t picked it up in over a month, the Locked Tomb series, and probably a few other things too. ooh! also a book called Making Sex by thomas laqueur, which is my fancy academic reading that I’ve been doing in short bursts for the past year or two when I feel fancy and academic. it’s about the development of the concept of biological sex and of gender in Western society, and it’s fascinating. has among other things introduced me to the idea that until quite recently, fathers were a matter of faith. the mother? yeah, you can watch the baby pop out, we all know who the mother is. but the father? how can you know? how can you really know? we have paternity tests these days, but for all of human history up until now, we've just had to take fatherhood on faith. (not to mention we didn’t even know what fathers were contributing to the production of a fetus. clearly it was something, since you can’t get pregnant without a penis getting involved, but we have literally not known what until the past few decades. and that is wild. it has colored ALL of human history, all of our conceptions of society and family and kinship and gender, all of it, and it hadn’t even occurred to me until it was spelled out for me in this book, and it’s just......wow.

Salty, sweet or savory: for christmas my sister and I made seven different types of cookie, most of them involving chocolate somehow.

Craving: no bc I ate so many cookies. unless sleep counts. or maybe pringles, it’s been many moons since last I had a potato chip and I miss them.

Coffee or Tea: no thank you

Tagging: @coloursisee, @krchy-tuna, @sam-j-squirrel, @xzienne, @mirandatam, @viciousmaukeries, @sepulchritude, @elidyce, and @navigatorsnorth bc it’s been a while since we’ve talked, and I’m super hyped that you’re married now. v happy for you!

[roguish-gallery]

Reader has just been captured by Arkham Riddler's goons! They're gonna be used in Nygma's next plan to beat the Bat! They must've been captured after failing one of his traps. Except they didn't. Just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Actually reader LIKES riddles and puzzles. They test out and play Nygma's traps for fun and survive. Looks like Eddie's new victim is smarter than they look. And it looks like they may actually have a fondness for him. After all, they DO admit to admiring him.

Arkham!Edward + Reader That Refuses to Die

Oughhhh anon,,, I had so much fun writing this and it kinda sorta turned into a giant experimental shitpost I’m so sorry,,, I hope u enjoy it in spite of this. Everything is under the readmore because this thing is massive. Slight warning for light ns/fw mentions

He’ll entertain your survival for maybe an hour, maybe two, before he realizes that he probably won’t be able to kill them through his puzzles. His mild bemusement is turning into annoyance. God damn it, these traps are supposed to fucking kill Batman, and some rando he picked off the street is solving them with ease? Is he off his game? Are his games not as clever as they’re supposed to be? Jesus Fucking Christ, now he’s got a migraine on top of everything else.

“Okay, that’s it!” Deathtrap turns off. Lights turn on, and a goon shuffles into the hallway to escort you out of the building. Edward’s voice crackles over the intercom- he’s not even going to give you the decency of showing his face over the video monitors. “Game’s over. Get out.”

“This is about stroking my ego," He says. "not about you having fun. You’re probably cheating anyway.”

You try and reason with him, mentioning that you've admired his past works.

“Okay??? I like me too. So does everyone else. What does that have to do with anything???”

This bickering goes on for a surprisingly long time. You obviously cannot see it from where you are, but Edward is like this *this* close to having a tantrum and needing to furiously jack off to get rid of this pent-up energy.

“Here’s a riddle for you, jackass- what refuses to die, unchubs my dick, and is a pain in my ass?”

“An STD?”

“Wha-?! N-no!! Shut up!!! Shut up shut up shut up!! I was talking about YOU, you- you troglodyte! Get off of my property.”

You hear the victim in the adjacent room ask if they can leave too.

“No, I need you to get your dick chewed off by those feral eels to make me feel better. If anything, the fact that I’m giving you an extension to solve that 17X17 Rubik’s cube is more than generous. If you somehow still fail to solve it and fall into my pit filled with dick-eating feral eels, well, that’s on you.”

You wake up on the floor of a Waffle House with a splitting headache. The goons must have given you chloroform so you wouldn’t be able to find the hideout. The employees and the other patrons take no notice of you because they are too preoccupied with their own headaches. Checking your pockets, you realize that Edward had given you some change to order some hashbrowns- that’s the closest you’ll get to him begrudgingly recognizing your ability to solve his puzzles.

Meanwhile, Ed is beside himself in anguish. How could he ever hope to outwit Batman now? He needs to lick his wounds and take time off to bounce back to his usual self.

_____________________

Okay! It’s a new day, and Edward has refitted his hideout with a ton of new, zesty deathtraps! These will surely kill Batman!!!

….. Right?

Well…

Hmm… there’s only one true way to know if these will work or not.

You wake up on a platform suspended above a pit filled with twice the amount of dick-eating feral eels. There is an 18X18 Rubik’s cube at your feet. Edward is polite enough to turn his video monitor on when he’s addressing you this time.

“Okay! I have kidnapped you to run through my gauntlet of genius to see if my traps are of any actual value. Your compensation will come in the form of your survival, this bottle of half-used ringworm mediation that I don’t need anymore, and a pack of peanut M&Ms.”

When you beat them again, Edward doesn’t throw a tantrum, he just slouches in his chair. He’s not mad, just disappointed in himself.

Should you say something? You apologize, just to be safe.

“No, no. You didn’t do anything wrong, it was foolish of me to assume that these traps were actually worthwhile.” He sighs, and rubs his temples in frustration. “You can go home. I’ll find you when I’ve made more traps, okay?”

You suggest going out to get something to eat and to blow off some steam- a Waffle House, perhaps.

He lifts his head from his hands, and slowly nods his head. “... Yeah. I guess I could go for some hashbrowns. Okay, I’ll get my wallet.”

Eventually, this turns into a regular thing- Edward kidnaps you, you solve his puzzles, and you go out for hashbrowns after. Kidnapping is kind of a loose term at this point, too- Edward eventually gives you his address (in riddles, obviously) because it saves him money on chloroform, and he didn't want anything in your system that could potentially hinder your performance in his death maze.

After a while... the death traps just kinda stop altogether, and he just invites you over to play touhou or to vape- Edward even apologizes for calling you a troglodyte the first time he met you, and admits that of all the people he's ever met, you come pretty close to his own intelligence. You're also... kind of his type. He's uhhhh... free for dinner next Saturday if you wanna talk about setting up traps for Batman or if you just wanna talk about your interests btw...

[ineffablefool]

Someone in Flight Rising has dragons that they are not selling for currency but instead giving to people who want to write or draw a little something about the dragon, and I wanted one, and she’s a G1 nocturne but I decided I would like her as a bogsneak with that new Pharaoh gene (not really feeling Sarcophagus yet).  And I got to thinking.  Why would she become a bogsneak?  Maybe she scienced with Baldwin too much.  What kind of a person might science too much?  Hmm.  Perhaps this kind of person.

Not all of this will make sense to not-FR people, but most of it should.  I purposefully stayed light on the game-specific stuff.  The speaking characters are all dragons but that really doesn’t matter as much as you might think.  Beastclans are groups of other sentient species (like centaurs and snake-people), and mentions of pearls and wiggling refer to canon dragon-breed-specific traits that are there for flavor more’n plot.

689 words of fic after the readmore!

--

This time it took less than a week before someone mentioned it. “Not that I'm pryin’,” the caravan master said. “Person’s business is their own.” That didn’t seem to need any more response than a nod. “Only, there’ve been concerns.” She waited. His mouth twitched down even further. “Lot of the custom we’ve got is small clans, out here, keep to themselves mostly. Might not so much’s see a stranger outside of a few traders now and then. Simple folk. Hard to get their trust.” There was another pause, but she didn’t see the need to fill this one, either. He hadn’t actually asked a question yet. Nothing needed correction. This would be more efficient if he’d simply say what he wanted. “So sometimes they need explainin’ why that long fella in the third wagon back can’t quit wriggling, or why nobody carrying a pearl’s willing to sell. Basic stuff like that, what any dragon knows, and most Beastclans, too, but. Well. We’re pretty far from dragon territory.” He looked past her for a moment, back towards the others. She had seen them start to gather some distance away. “You unsettle ‘em,” he said. “And I can’t explain you, seein’ as you unsettle me, too.” That was something worth responding to, something that might be useful to record. “Why is that?” His face changed its expression. It was now the one she often saw when people first met her, when she told them however many days or weeks she’d been traveling alone since the last time, then requested to be allowed to accompany them. They would look at her in that manner and assure her that she was welcome. She had never observed it at this end of the cycle. He displayed the expression now all the same, shifting his weight slightly. A pained leg, perhaps. “Most of your folk stay hidden better part of the year, but I’ve still met plenty in my time, and I know how easy you take new things up — things you see people do, hear ‘em say. You're catbirds. Never heard a song you couldn't mimic.” She didn’t have much research on her own kind, and clearly not enough to draw any conclusions. Regardless, she’d heard this sort of anecdote enough times that it could well have a basis in fact. “But you don’t. You just watch.” His mouth flattened out again. “You watch what everyone does and take notes. Y’don’t copy. Don’t even answer, half the time, when folks try to talk to you. You just stare. And that is damned unnerving.” She nodded slowly, organizing her thoughts for later transcription. She didn’t have her journal to hand. “Previously you used the term ‘unsettling’. Would you say one is more severe than the other?” Even with years of data, she still hadn’t determined the exact set of conditions that might cause laughter. The caravan master voiced one short burst of it now. “We’ll be moving on without you,” he said. “You understand.” Her documentation and tools were all in the bag slung across her shoulder. Ending her association with other travelers was, as always, very simple. The caravan master went to join the others without speaking further. It was an unexpected setback to be expelled from this group so quickly, but unlikely to impact her studies. She had been moving through this part of the world for some time now — exactly how long, she wasn’t sure without checking her notes — and doubted she’d learn much more than she already had. These particular merchants, the Beastclans their caravan had met, seemed much like all the ones she’d encountered before. They made as much sense to her as they ever would. She would go north, she decided. She as yet had no data there. True, what she wished to learn might not be found anywhere in this world. She might never understand the others’ thoughts, motivations, feelings, as they all seemed instinctively to do amongst themselves. It mattered little. Further study was called for regardless. It was time to move on.

[krystalreverb]

Something Human Fic Preview #7

This is under a readmore because it contains spoilers for the ending of Something Human. 

Hubert found himself doing as he was told, and came upon a table laden with coffee in fine tea cups on fine saucers in the courtyard of Enbarr palace. “Really, Ferdinand, our good porcelain? That was meant to be used in the actual wedding feast. Edelgard won’t be happy.” 

“And it will be! After I am done! Edelgard can wait!” Ferdinand insisted. “Come here, taste this one. I’m detecting a bit of a nutty aroma, but I can’t seem to taste it past the bitterness. There is a reason I don’t drink coffee.”

“Then it’s a bloody good thing I do, isn’t it? Give me that, you’re going to spill it down your shirt, you fool.” Hubert snatched the cup up gracefully before Ferdinand had the chance to dribble it down his shirt. Hubert took a sip of the coffee and made a disgusted face, his nose curling up at it. 

“You’re awful at making coffee, that’s why you can’t taste anything. Spill all these out, let me.” He insisted, pouring the coffee in the cup unceremoniously on the ground. He pulled out his own personal coffee press and began to measure the grounds more carefully. “See, you made it too strong, which means you used too much coffee and the water was too hot, scorching the grounds. The water needs to be hot, but not boiling.” He explained, carefully measuring his grounds and pouring water heated by magic to the perfect temperature into the press. “That’s why it was bitter and unappealing. You didn’t make coffee, you made burned mud.” 

He poured another cup and handed it to Ferdinand. “That’s a proper cup of coffee. Taste that.” He said firmly. Ferdinand took a tentative sip, and his eyes lit up.

“By the Gods! It’s delicious!”

“See?” Hubert chided. “What do you taste? Give me a description of your experience.”

Ferdinand took another sip and contemplated it for a moment, swishing it around in his mouth for a few seconds before swallowing it down.

“Hmm… There’s notes of hazelnut, and smoke, and a subtle sweetness underneath, like fine Brigid vanilla and Adrestian sandalwood. It’s smooth and velvety and not at all harsh on the palate. There is the residual bitterness from the coffee, but it serves to complement the entire experience, rather than detract from it. It’s incredible.” Ferdinand reported, swirling the coffee around in the cup and putting it to his nose to take a sniff. “It smells like heaven, and I don’t even like coffee. I think it’s perfect for the wedding feast! Even the council will partake!” 

“Excellent. I shall begin ordering coffee beans post-haste.” Hubert said, pulling out his notebook and scribbling down a note to himself to order coffee beans later. Ferdinand studied him for a moment. Hubert still didn’t quite realize, or perhaps was ignoring, the fact he was no longer considered a servant. 

“You realize you don’t have to do a servant’s work anymore, Hubert, yes?” Ferdinand asked tentatively. “You’re marrying the Emperor.” 

Hubert shrugged. “I’m a simple sort of man.” He said, “And it’s hard to break old habits. Besides, why delegate when I can do it myself and ensure a desirable outcome?” 

“The point is, you don’t have to anymore.”

“Ferdinand, my place is by my lady’s side. Whether that be as her vassal or her husband, I take my role very seriously. My place is kneeling at her feet and walking by her side, and taking on the menial things that are beneath her, like preparing the wedding. You may not understand that, having been raised as a prime minister’s son, but my entire being is devoted to Lady Edelgard. This is as much her wedding as it is mine. Believe me. I am ecstatic that I am lucky enough to be allowed to marry her. I love her, with all my heart and soul. I am thrilled to soon be her husband. But I am, first and foremost, her servant. And I will do a servant’s work, if it benefits Lady Edelgard. This wedding benefits Lady Edelgard. Therefore, I will ensure that we have the proper coffee beans for the reception, and I will prepare the coffee myself if necessary.” Hubert said seriously. “Now, all that being said, we should get these teacups into the kitchens so they can be cleaned before the wedding feast.” 

“Right you are, Hubert. I may have been a bit overzealous.” Ferdinand admitted. 

“As you are in everything you do, Ferdinand.” Hubert began placing cups and saucers on a silver serving tray to bring back to the kitchens. “I’m used to it by now.” 

Hubert picked up the tray laden with cups and saucers and began carrying it on his shoulder back to the kitchens. Ferdinand followed, carrying his own tray. When it looked like the stacked cups on Ferdinand’s tray were about to topple over, Hubert gently put out two fingers and stabilized them until they got to the kitchens, and were able to put them down. 

“I never knew coffee could taste like that.” Ferdinand said, still in awe. “I always thought all of it tasted like mud.” 

“You would have known if you’d ever let me make you a cuppa before, you simpering noble fool. I offered, don’t you remember? You refused, repeatedly. I make a proper cup of coffee, Ferdinand. I pride myself on it. I would not serve Edelgard anything less than the best.” 

“I suppose that’s true. You always did hold yourself to a high standard when it comes to her.” Ferdinand said. 

“Only the highest standard, of course. What kind of Vestra would I be if I did not devote my entire being to my lady? A failure, that’s what. As much as I detested my father, he didn’t raise a failure.” Hubert set to work cleaning the dishes alongside a maid who had come to help. When she expressed concern that the Emperor’s consort was washing dishes alongside her, Ferdinand put up a hand.

“I already told him. Stubborn as an old mule, he is.” 

Hubert rolled his eyes. “I’m as much a servant of the imperial household as I am the Emperor’s consort, you realize. My title of Minister of the Imperial Household doesn’t just magically go away.” 

“But you’re marrying the Emperor.” Ferdinand stressed. “You technically outrank everyone in this room. You don’t have to wash the dishes. That’s what she’s there for. We hired her for a reason.” He gestured towards the maid. Hubert sighed and took his hands out of the sink begrudgingly, wiping them dry on a hand towel. He replaced his gloves and rolled his sleeves back down, following Ferdinand out of the kitchens. 

“You know, if you keep taking away my opportunities to work, I will go insane.” Hubert muttered. 

“Your job isn’t to work anymore, Hubert. Your job is to be the Emperor’s personal sex toy.” Ferdinand said.

“Like Dorothea is for you?” Hubert teased. Ferdinand flushed wildly. 

“No, Dorothea’s job is to sing operas on stage and mine is to donate a substantial amount of money to the Enbarr opera house in which she sings.” Ferdinand insisted. “But let’s face it, Edelgard is happy. She loves you, and she’s willing to take away all the responsibility and dissolve your oath of servitude in order to show the world that she loves you. Instead of working yourself into the ground, try reveling in it for a change.” Ferdinand gripped Hubert’s shoulders and shook him gently, but firmly. “Let’s go into town. You and me, what do you say? I’ll drag Caspar and Linhardt, let’s throw you a bachelor’s party, shall we? No women! Caspar will leave Petra to care for Edelgard, and Linhardt can leave Bernadetta at home in peace!”

“Isn’t the bachelor’s party supposed to be the night before the wedding, so that I show up to my own highly-publicized royal wedding hungover and sick?” Hubert asked.

“That’s the point of doing it now! You’re expected to be all prim and proper on the day of your wedding, so let’s throw you a party now! That way the council is happy, and you’re happy, and she’s happy! Everybody wins!” Ferdinand insisted. 

Hubert sighed dramatically. “Alright, fine. I’ll throw around a little of that Emperor’s-consort money and we’ll go to that club that Linhardt brought Bernadetta to when they started dating. Is it still there?”

“The Spiral Horn? The one with a unicorn on the sign, right? Of course it’s still there. We’ll watch a couple dancers, have a few drinks, it’ll be fun!” 

“Well, I do have more fun when there’s vodka involved. Alright, let’s round up the boys and we’ll go.”

[bitchsexuality]

ok, if you’re interested, here are the Details of what happened yesterday (for those of u who didn’t see the post, my crush kissed me and also he’s now my boyfriend and also i’m Dying)

putting this under a readmore because i know myself and i know it’s gonna get like... super long. if you’re on mobile i am SO SORRY:

he’d missed class on monday so i’d told him “hey do you want me to show you how to do [X thing] we learned on monday?” and he’d said yes, so yesterday i went to his place (partly i actually meant to help him out with that. partly i just wanted to cuddle again)

now, as it turns out i’m DREADFUL at like, teaching, so i spent like 20 minutes trying to find a way to explain how to do that thing and eventually kinda gave up because i knew i was making it more confusing for him, so i told him we should probably look up tutorials online or something because i was clearly not helping

at that point he looked at me, shrugged, and said “do you mind if we do that later? i’m kinda tired right now. can we sit on the bed? it’s more comfortable” (that’s not exactly what he said but i don’t remember perfectly + my brain’s melted so i probably wouldn’t know how to translate it kjdsfbg)

and perhaps i Should have been more responsible, but like i’d wanted to cuddle again for the entire fucking week. also my chair WAS kind of uncomfortable. so i said “ok :)” and we sat on the bed. we started talking about our week -we hadn’t seen each other on monday, tuesday or wednesday- and eventually we just ended up cuddling again

which obviously made me happy, like of course i was thinking i wanted to kiss him but i would’ve been fine with just cuddling y’know? count your blessings or whatever. we stayed like that for a while, hugging each other, and then he whispers something that i legitimately couldn’t understand. i asked him to repeat it and he told me “nevermind, sorry, i’m embarrassed now”

and ok. god. that should’ve been a clue. and i should’ve just told him “can i kiss you”. but i’m constantly fucking terrified of like, putting myself out there and shit, so i just said “you can tell me anything you want, but don’t worry and take all the time you need” (again, paraphrasing)

we stayed silent for a relatively long time, with him hugging me really right, until suddenly he kinda let go of me, told  me "i'm having a hard time saying it so i'll write it down on my phone instead". i turned around, he started writing, and then he looked up at me -blushing like hell- and said "no wait i'm sorry i'm also too embarrassed to show you this" 

so at that point i'm definitely sure Something's going on and i wanted  to tell him Something to reassure him, but again i'm emotionally inept and i didn't know what to say so i just sat there, smiling at him, my brain going ???????, until he kinda leaned forward and very gently placed a finger on my lips? and made this kind of hmm... idk how to explain it, kind of a quizzical humming sound if that makes sense. (also he was still blushing). again i'm emotionally inept so i just nodded because i couldn't think of anything else to say

his eyes widened, he smiled, and we both leaned forward and kissed really softly and DKFNJKSDFN OK JUST. THINKING ABOUT THIS IS MAKING ME D*E. it was so sweet y'all... and after that we kept kissing... but without tongue sdkjbdf because i told him i didn't know how to do that and i was kinda embarrassed but he told me not to worry about any of that

then we just looked at each other, smiling like a pair of fucking Idiots, and he asked "hey so do you-" and mouthed something that i didn't understand. i told him that, he laughed a bit, and said "ok i'm still embarrassed, i AM going to write this down this time around", so he grabbed his phone and wrote "do you want to be my girlfriend" and. i mean. y'all don't need me to tell you what i said right dkjsfgbg

(and god ok one of the FIRST things he told me after that was "we're doing this at your pace, whatever happens only happens when and if you want it to" and i kinda laughed and went "my pace is probably going to be pretty slow" so he kissed the top of my head and said "then we'll go slow" which... legitimately means so much to me)

after that everything was just So Cute y'all like we were cuddling + kissing, at some point we ended up laying down on the bed -we were sitting before that- and he was hugging me really tight and like kinda softly stroking behind my ear with one hand + running his thumb over my knuckles with the other (we were holding hands) and. ok. we Were kissing a lot

AND at a certain point, after kissing me, he whispered “te quiero” which is a bit hard to translate? because it isn’t 100% “i love you”. it’s more of “i like you a lot” or something like that???? idk. but it was really really sweet and i was grinning like a fucking idiot

i'm not going to talk about Everything because otherwise i'll never stop fkdjb (also because most of it is just about us kissing...) but yeah i am REALLY fucking happy rn

and i am so, so grateful that my first kiss was with him, because he's truly so careful + thoughtful and i really appreciate how he asked me for consent + if i was comfortable every single step of the way. it means so much to me 😭

[gg-astrology]

got an ask from @moonkiddionysus17 about GoT!! 💕 I hope u don’t mind if I answer u like this -- I know a few people tryna keep away from spoilers so they can watch all of it at once so i’ll do a readmore here and add a spoiler warning!!  💕

[[ Game of Thrones Season 8 Ep. 3 Spoiler Warning ]]

 I LOVE the beginning where we just... get a slow tension build with that good 10-15 minutes of everyone.. getting ready for war?? I’m thinking about HOW it just segments so nicely if we binge watch the season all at once-- to come from the first 2 episodes into this one-- it feels like a good progression because we DON’T skip straight into the fighting (that would’ve been really chaotic) -- not to say the actual fight/battle wasn’t a mess but I really really love how it turns out with the front-line tension building.

LOVE Arya this episode -- there was one point-- the library scene I think where it kind of remind me of her time in Bravos. When she closed her eyes for a second I thought she was going to bring out what she learnt when she was blind -- like, navigation and stuff. But it kinda didn’t happen-- we DID get a good part of her being stealthy and putting her “assassination” skills to use!!

Also love how we get to see her actually spar on the gate as well -- it was a good contrast, and shows her proficiency in both conditions (multiple v singular) and I really like that we get to see Arya diversified skill-set here. But YEAH anyways LOVE that for her -- I think because we saw her running out and then we didn’t see her again it kinda cued us in that she’s doing something? Honestly maybe with the Melissandra stuff we might’ve been given too many obvious clues?? That she was going to kill the Night King?? But it was good-- and I’m glad anyways!!

I know twitter has a lot of opinion on Bran right now, I kinda agree like this is the One Time he could pull a card out of his sleeve but it didn’t happen?? If he uses his knowledge power to play some castle-ground (king’s landing) gossiping political game it feels.. like an under-estimation of his powers (went past the wall, did so many adventure-y things in The Big North and then DIDN’T use it with the Night King-- but saving it to use on court politics?? In king’s landing??) --- but alright if he DOES something epic with it then maybe it’ll be fine

I DON’T think the Night King was defeated too easily-- honestly, considering the MESS that was the battle -- I’m glad he got One Up on Dany (with the flame thing) and I don’t know-- what he did, I’m happy with the way it turned out. Resurrecting the Just Fallen?? Ticked off my bucket list. Ruthlessly using the dead to make a bridge of bodies?? Ticked off as well. Casting a snow storm to help with war strategy?? Amazing.

I’m excited to see the next episode-- I hope they don’t go straight into ‘ok now we charge for King’s Landing’ but actually see like-- the repercussions of war. What are they gon’ do with the bodies? Who’s going to burn their dead by going back home/respecting ancestry? What about who’s left? Who even IS left (in terms of forces against Cersei now) Do we HAVE a THIRD Targaryen?? Is ANYONE going to be Azor Ahai?? 

As for the ending of Games of Thrones -- I’m thinking about the DEBT that’s on the crown now because CERSEI took out the loan (that she definitely couldn’t pay back) so in a way i HOPE she stays in the crown if it’s any sort of punishment/repent. Who ELSE is going to pay back that debt? Dany? Jon? Sansa? Tyrion? 

She dug the grave she should lay in it?? In a sense?? So financially I hope this is some kind of repentance. On the OTHER hand -- I don’t actually KNOW who should rule the 7 kingdoms. Sansa cares for the North, so I hope she gets to rule it. ‘Cold’ looks good on her and I love her this Season. 

Jon -- as we’ve established -- ‘knows nothing’ -- so idk about him. Dany can be-- naive, and I don’t?? Trust Tyrion to run a country. 

I think for the characters-- everyone has a ‘role’ they fit better than being a ‘ruler’. Brienne as a knight, Arya as .. whatever she is now. But someone would have to step up to it right? That’s always the deal with ‘ruling’ -- it’s a responsibility, and a weight. You want to Do Right but at the same time-- that has to come with over-coming your own weakness, blind spots and greed. Nobody actually ‘wants’ to rule and is actually ‘great’ at it (I really miss House Tyrell with Olenna and Margaery right now).

For the ending -- well I hope there’s more death?? It sounds weird I know, but I feel like the Death of a few characters would satisfy their arc/story-line and the whole progression/plot holes they’ve been building. Jaime as the King Slayer -- I hope he actually slays the one who rules the throne or idk-- redemption or something better. Arya -- as the many faced god, wouldn’t there be a price to pay for using it for her own motive/list? The Hound -- if he doesn’t kill his brother or die with him, I hope he gets to find fulfillment somewhere.

Sansa I hope stays alive -- if anything, it’s for the sake of the North. Perhaps the North can be the new capital -- but maybe this is a bit optimistic. Tyrion -- MIGHT die?? He’s been talking about his death a lot, so maybe he will die? 

I’m still feeling things about when Greyworm was on the otherside of the trench and closed it off -- while the Unsullied stayed on the front line and perish. Literally this is -- what? The Dothraki AND the Unsullied are gone??  Does this mean Dany only has the North left (+ her dragons)

Anyways-- let me know what you think as well!! 💕 I LOVE talking about this!! 💕 I have so many emotions and I just ksjdnfkjn this episode feels SO GOOD like something I can watch over and over again y know?? 💕💕

OH and Lady Mormont taking down a GIANT!!! 💕 To be fair-- I think all the deaths in the war was well-done, although suspiciously minimal as in-- I’d expect more characters to die during this fight and not just numbers (troops - dothraki + unsullied) -- if some other key characters also died, it would’ve been fantastic 

EDIT: WAIT ONE LAST THING... basically, the deaths here feels very strategic once the immediate battle is over. Dothraki and Unsullied died-- so Dany would be forced to rely on the North. Who has power in the North to rally troops? The Little bear would’ve had an influence here if she was alive. 

The supporting characters who’ve died-- Theon, has a lead to Yara on the Iron Island (although Yara’s allegiance to Dany probably wouldn’t be compromised) Bronn -- as part of the Night’s Watch/Wilding guide. Jorah Mormont -- as part of the leading force of Dany’s army.

It just all seem very... hmm, strategic for the plot. And also I would’ve expected way more death and casualties in war than this. Those at the front lines-- Gendry, Podrick, Brienne, Jaime, Sam. I wouldn’t have expected them to live despite how good they were, even if I did want them to live y know? The fatalities were minimal to say the least-- and I can’t believe im saying this, but i wish game of thrones would ramp it up for the last season?  

Anyways yeah, 💕