#holiday party is even worse thought because most everyone has a partner they bring and I’m just over here like 🧍‍♀️

[white-weasel]

Work events = just kill me now

[lupismaris]

sorry you’re feeling so crappy 😔 i hope you feel better soon!!

if you’re feeling up to it, maybe silverflinthamiltons on a lake or beach vacation?

SILVERFLINTHAM LAKESIDE HOLIDAY PART 1 with a surprise! and another segment to follow because this is them arriving to the lake!

(this got long so most of it will be under the cut.)

***

It was summer.

Summer meant blistering asphalt and bags of trash stewing on the curb each morning. Hazy sunlight blinding the street, dark cavernous pockets of shade where the temperature seemed to drop ten degrees, but the air stayed stale and suffocating all the same. It meant too many people and too much noise and parties in the park that never seemed to end, one just replacing another in an endless cycle of hedonism, and bottles of chilled wine and cheap beer sweating on the fountain walls. It meant long dinners and longer lunches, ice cream trucks and Italian ice carts on opposite corners of the street carrying on an old world rivalry. It meant golds and blues and lush greens wherever your eyes happened to fall, be it on a back alley garden or storefront window display.

Silver loved summer.

He loved the warmth and the sprawling picnics and the baring of skin and the feral energy of a child free from school amplified to suit a city of millions and the heady summer storms that shook the glittering skyline in a kind of holy cleanse. He loved the summer fruits and the sweet aperitifs and the old school white linen shirts and open fire hydrants flooding the streets and the neon lights reflecting in the puddles left behind, still evaporating in the hot night, giving the whole world an ethereal glow.

Though he had to admit it was always better spent on a beach with a frosted drink and not a goddamn thing to do. But, if a beach couldn’t be procured, a big, cool, well air conditioned house that was paid for by someone else was an excellent alternative. His sister’s condo in Chelsea for instance was an excellent place to waste away a summer on parties and sun bathing and a private pool that no one else seemed to have the time to use. He had spent several summers with Max that way, even once the Rangers had become part of the picture, if Silver was on the east coast for the summer, he would drop in and waste away a while.

Now though, it looked like summers were going to be spent in Brooklyn, in the big cool townhouse that Thomas had paid for, with the truly miraculously internal air con that was always kept at a balmy 65 degrees from May to October, and with very little to do outside of whatever suited his fancy on any given day. Oh and sex, a lot of sex. This would be the first summer in a very long time where he could not only allow himself a libido, but he could also satiate it.

Silver was thoroughly content with the new circumstances.

He was less content however, with how the summer months, or maybe just the summer months in the city, seemed to bring out the worst in people as frequently as it did the best.

Flint, for example, did not handle summers as well as Silver did. In part it was due to the heat and the sun and the weird smells coming off the steamy side walks, and Silver understood Flint’s frustration with all that, he truly did. But summer also meant more tourists and more people going out for a good time, more people starting brawls in bars and fights in the street and parties spilling over from one bar to the next, or worse packs of bigots making the rounds and harassing whomever they find, everything the working class service folks of the city dreaded- in short, Flint’s stress levels seemed to just rise with the temperature. And considering an average day in July might easily crack 100, Silver was starting to get a tad worried.

“Is it like this every summer?” Silver had asked one Friday morning in June.

The kitchen was soft with the morning sunlight, Thomas in his silk night shirt and robe as he perused the menu for the cafe on the corner, Silver fixing them each an espresso.

“To a point yes. You know how James is about control,” Thomas said with a fond smile, “when he’s at his best he can combat every threat to his sovereignty without so much as flinching. But the summer gets to him, makes him a bit of a wolf in a cage, so to speak.”

“Was he worse in Manhattan?” the buildings sometimes reminded Silver of a cell block, the slivers of sunlight cutting through as hot as cattle prods.

“Much. Hal has tried talking him into not working as much in the summer, but you know how he is, can’t be told anything once he’s got his mind made up. Not to mention he’s never been good at simply existing. There always has to be purpose in it, work to be done, fields to plow and what not.”

Silver huffed a laugh and brought Thomas’ espresso over, feeling a sense of warmth at the notion that he and Thomas were able to share this, to share flint and all his eccentricities.

“I’m sure a man as clever as you thought of some way to keep his blood pressure down, hm?” he asked, raising his eyebrows. Thomas took the espresso cup without looking away from the menu. He set it aside and pulled Silver in, kissing him sweetly in thanks. Ah, that was also a nice thing to share with Thomas, Silver reminded himself.

“Oh I came up with a few ideas, pet. How about we order breakfast, and I’ll tell you about them.”

By Friday, the three of them were packed into Flint’s old Range Rover heading upstate for two weeks of holiday bliss. It had taken multiple phone calls to Gates to make sure the bar would in fact be alright while Flint was gone and to make sure he barred Flint from being within a dozen yards of The Walrus once it closed on Thursday night. It had also taken coaxing, convincing, bartering, and eventually outright bribery with sex to get Flint to stop scowling about the idea of being away from his “ship” for longer than a weekend. There had been other phone calls as well, placed by Thomas in the early hours of the morning when he thought he was the only one awake. When asked about them he just waved the questions away with a mild, “oh just a little extra surprise for James thats all” and Silver did his best to trust him.

It was a five hour drive from the house in Brooklyn to the house on Lake Cayuga that Thomas had purchased during his recovery, to he and Flint would have a quiet place to heal and make up for lost time without the strain of the city grating on them. Silver had never been upstate, his various clients had always preferred houses in the Hamptons, but from the photos it was a cozy little cottage style house right on the shore, a couple bedrooms, an airy kitchen, lush garden, and a private pier that stretched out into the lake. There was also apparently a boat, a little hybrid sailboat of polished wood and deep blue paint, the name Ariel written in careful golden script. Silver wanted to ask whether Flint had bought it or built it, because he was the kind of high strung man to just build a boat from scratch instead of buying one or scheduling extra therapy. But the scowl on his face as they tucked the suitcases into the trunk told him it wasn’t worth the teasing. Not yet anyway.

Flint insisted on driving the whole five hours himself, scowling silently behind the wheel as he drove them through miles of lush farmland, leaving Thomas and Silver to chat about what they might do once they get settled in. There was plenty of hiking, though Thomas was worried the gorges might be tricky for Silver’s regular prosthetic, ample water falls and countless parks to explore. Lots of quaint small towns with seafood shacks and local fare and more wineries than even Thomas knew what to do with. And of course, most importantly, there was the lake.

Flint kept his silence till the last hour of the ride, the scowl firmly set on his jaw. Silver and Thomas had switched seats so Thomas could stretch out and nap in the back seats, leaving Silver to try and coax a smile out of his partner. Not that he had to do much. As the car climbed yet another rolling hill, Silver watched the horizon, his hand in Flint’s, trying to figure out whether the deep blue streak that had suddenly appeared was a dark patch of sky.

It wasn’t, for the record.

Silver frowned and turned to Flint, planning to ask if it was the lake and exactly how big was said lake- but the question died well before he could even open his mouth.

The scowl was gone, dropped from Flint’s face and replaced by the softest look of wonder Silver had ever seen on the man, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, making his mustache twitch. It was as if something had hooked its line into Flint’s chest and was slowly reeling him in, his whole body sitting straighter, the tension in his shoulders bleeding out until he was leaning into the steering wheel. His hand even held tighter to Silver’s, an unconscious need to keep himself tethered maybe, or to keep Silver close.

“Is that the lake?” Silver managed to ask with a soft smile of his own.

“Yeah. We’ll be at the cabin in half an hour.”

They got there in twenty minutes, not that anyone was actually counting.

The lake stretched out before them, a sea of deep blues and aquamarines, glittering with the hot late June sunlight that danced across it’s surface. It’s shores were patched with wildflowers and thick thatches of wood, little clusters of cabins and boat houses, who’s owners were out skipping across the surface like dragon flies on their small boats and kayaks. The afternoon air was hazy and sweet, the whole scene a postcard from the mythical summers of memory that everyone aspired to, bird song and the low hum of the radio escorting them along the final stretch of route 90. Flint pulled them down a narrow side road, passing a few comfortably sized homes with ample space between them, until they reached the dead end of the street, and the little cottage Silver had seen in the photos, with the shadow of the pier dark across the water, and the Ariel waiting like a loyal dog in her berth.

“Oh good,” Thomas said with a yawn, finally pulling himself back into a sitting position and stretching, as Flint pulled the car into the drive alongside what looked like a rental car. “I was starting to think we were lost.”

Silver looked back at him, ready to tease about old men and naps, but Thomas was looking down at his phone, his fingers quickly switching on the stop watch. “Thomas what-”

The range rover lurched to a sudden stop as Flint hit the brakes and Silver had to cling to the seat to keep himself upright. Thomas seemed completely unfazed, draped across the back seat in his half buttoned linen shirt and designer sunglasses, watching with an air of fond expectation as Flint threw on the parking brake and booked it from the car, leaving the engine running.

“What the fuck is he doing?” Silver asked.

Thomas laughed and reached around the driver’s seat to shut the car off. “Exactly what I expected him to do, though I’ll admit I expected him to at least properly stop the car first.”

“What? Thomas- oh my god he’s going in the lake?” Silver asked, watching as Flint cleared the back fence and striped off his shirt, leaving it on the lawn as he kept moving towards the pier. His boots, socks, and jeans followed, barely breaking his quick stride to strip them off.

“Last time it took him a whole ten minutes to get into the water,” Thomas said, helping Silver, who was too busy staring in shock at the sight of his stern and stoic partner racing across the back patio like a child, from the car. “He might clear five minutes this time.”

A few more quick strides and Flint dove from the end of the pier, breaking the surface of the lake with a thunderous sound and disappearing into the blue.

“He’s in the lake,” Silver said.

Thomas hooked their arms together, the two of them walking leisurely across the lawn. “Every visit, the first thing he does is go to the water. It’s even more dramatic when it’s the ocean, maybe I’ll book us a house on the coast next month.”

“More dramatic than stripping down to his boxers in the back yard?” he asked.

The back lawn of the house was a mix of a large patio and and a short green, with a fire pit and a grill, a small dining table and some cozy chairs, and what silver hoped was a hot tub. A woman was stretched out on one of the long beach chairs in a deep green bikini, her dark hair cut short and a magazine across her lap, though she was watching the water, where Flint had just resurfaced for a moment before diving again.

“Miranda?” Silver called, aware that Thomas was beaming behind him but not at all surprised to see his ex wife. That explained the phone calls, and the rental car out front.

“I believe our husband is in the lake my dears,” Miranda called with a laugh, getting up to come greet them. “God he’s like a little boy at a swimming hole.”

“I’d ask how you got here but that seems almost silly,” Silver said, letting her pull him into a tight hug. They had taken to each other from the first, which had left Thomas and Flint a little uneasy. Miranda’s humor matched his, her wit sharp and familiar, and Silver had learned very quickly why Flint and Thomas were both still in love with her. He wasn’t far from it himself.

“Thomas called, said James needed an intervention,” She said, letting him go to kiss Thomas hello and hug him tight. “I’m on break from teaching this summer and the fall concert season hasn’t started yet, could I come out and join you for a couple weeks? Which was a silly question, I was buying a ticket the moment he suggested it.”

Thomas kissed the top of her head, smiling brightly. “I had hoped you might be his surprise before he jumped in the lake, I’m sorry my dear.”

Silver watched them, feeling a bit dizzy. They were were a perfect pair, Miranda dark and elegant under Thomas’ arm, the cool dusk sky to Thomas’ golden hour sun.

“Don’t be, I’ll go down to him, maybe join him in the water for a bit.” She kissed his cheek, then Silver’s. “There’s some snacks laid out in the kitchen and dinner will be delivered in a couple hours, why don’t you get the bags inside and then come join us. Maybe we can even take Ariel out before dinner.”

“Oh now there’s an idea,” Thomas agreed, moving to go back and fetch the bags from the car. “Tell our husband we’ll join you in a moment. If you can manage to get him up for air.”

Miranda laughed, a bright sunny sound that always reminded Silver of how she played piano, and made her way down to the pier. He watched as she sat down on the edge of the pier, as the surface of the water broke and Flint emerged, staring up at her in shock. Silver heard her laughing, saw her reach out and watched as Flint reached up and pulled her into the lake with a joyful shout of her name. They were lost for a moment to the water, kicking up waves as Flint held her tight and danced them around, clumsy and free. Behind him Silver could hear Thomas laughing, felt his hand as it came to rest warm and sure on his lower back, pulling him in close, as he said something about wishing they’d gotten that on film.

For Silver, it was one of those moments where suddenly he remembered what all those old love songs were written about. He understood it.

And it was finally his.

[punkscowardschampions]

Ava & Buster

Ava: Are you lot en-route? Buster: 'Course Buster: But we've had one foot out the door for like half an hour, honestly Ava: Good, 'cos I have presents Buster: Yeah? Buster: Pot of gold or what, like Ava: Hardly appropriate for a two-year-old Ava: None for you, soz 💔 Buster: I'd argue it's very appropriate Buster: All the shit he needs haemorrhages cash Ava: You were warned Ava: Extensively Buster: And I ain't sorry I didn't listen Buster: They can all try and sue me Ava: Enter an arena where they aren't the experts? Ava: Doesn't sound like mum and dad Buster: No such arena exists, clearly Buster: Know it all, have done it all Ava: Your degree must be a waste of time then Buster: You'd have to ask 'em what they reckon Buster: But I'd wait til they've got a few more drinks down 'em first, get closer to the truth Ava: Ugh, shut up Ava: You know they're proud of you Buster: Yeah yeah, blah blah Buster: But are you proud of me? Real MVP and everything Ava: When you get your cap and gown Ava: Funny wig, even better Ava: I still only got stuff for the kids and Ri though Ava: I'll chase a 🌈 down ASAP Buster: You're alright Buster: Already got a girlfriend, don't you? Buster: No need to get gayer just to wind me up, Nance has got that covered Ava: Ha, don't even chat to me about annoying Buster: I won't Ava: 😏 Ava: No, you're meant to ask, idiot Ava: You're so lucky you only have a son Buster: Tell me then Buster: I want a girl next Ava: Well she's not coming back, not that I'm surprised Buster: What bullshit excuse did she go with this time? She's got too much work on, girlfriend drama or she just hates fam functions SO MUCH Ava: It was column A presented but 1000% came across as column C Ava: She can be so Buster: I know Buster: Did she try and buy you off with an NYC trip that ain't gonna happen just like the last one didn't? Ava: Twin telepathy is real, yeah? Ava: 🙄 Buster: Fuck that and her Buster: I told you before, when you actually wanna go I'll take you Buster: Then you only have to see her a bearable amount Ava: I know Ava: It'd be interesting to see how long she could hold a conversation with me but yeah Ava: won't happen so Buster: Longer than she can with me or dad, probably slightly less time than she can with mum, depending what mood they are both in Buster: That'd be my bet Buster: Chin up, the good twin is finally on his fucking way Ava: Sounds about right Ava: Good time to tell you to call her yourself later or do you want a drink before you process that? Buster: Bad time to be forced to remember that I told Rio right at the start I wouldn't drink when she couldn't Ava: Honestly, I thought this kid was PLANNED Ava: She couldn't Christmas or New Year either Buster: She was planned, just not by me Ava: 'Course, you would've factored in drinking Ava: Must be their gay agenda Buster: There's loads of shit I'd have factored in Ava: That's your upbringing talking Buster: Shut up Ava: It is though Ava: Personally, I agree its better than the more the merrier approach too Buster: You'll personally be waiting a load more years before you make me play uncle then, yeah? Buster: Good Ava: Ugh Ava: Don't be making me 🤢 just because green is the colour today Buster: Gotta Buster: Who the fuck is there to be jealous of when we're us? Ava: You couldn't go the more traditional routes, no? 🍾🥂 Ava: Seeing as I'm NOT pregnant or being a very supportive partner to someone who is Buster: Come on, who am I? Buster: And you can leave me out of your rites of passage, I've cleaned up enough sick in the name of being a supportive partner Buster: Grace'll hold your hair back for you Ava: There's no need to be old AND boring 😏 Buster: Fuck off Buster: Counting down the days til I can drink you under the table Ava: Dad lets me Buster: There's nothing dad won't let you do Buster: Got him well wrapped around your finger, like Ava: It's not my fault I'm the most lovable Ava: Do better 😋 Buster: That's the one title you can keep Buster: Got all the love I need, cheers Ava: 🤢🥰 Ava: N'awh Buster: Lyla didn't wanna come and hang with the extended fam then? Ava: Wouldn't do that to someone I liked, would I? Buster: Depends how much you like her Ava: Nah Ava: That's all a bit heavy Buster: Well yeah Buster: It would be a trial by fire Ava: Then pissed on Ava: then set on fire again Ava: I like having time away when I come here, you know Ava: Not attached at the hip Buster: I know Ava: I'll send her a hilarious postcard or something Buster: You sounded like Nance there Buster: No need to miss her at all Ava: Fuck off Buster: You're right she'd never write it Buster: Half her holiday would be over before she got the words down Ava: 😂 Ava: Rude Buster: It's fuck all I wouldn't say to her face if she ever bothered to show it Ava: Can no one in this family be nice Ava: Honestly Buster: Come on Buster: I'm nice to you Buster: You ain't even bought me a present Ava: I know, I'm very lovable Ava: Have you got me one? Buster: Yeah but you ain't having it now Ava: Yeah right Ava: I know who gets last word in your house Ava: and Rio is nice to everyone Buster: She's nicest to me and she always does what I say Buster: So you might wanna think again Ava: That's entirely too much information, thank you Ava: you owe me double as compensation Buster: You ain't having two bottles Buster: Keep the first one down and then we'll talk Ava: Challenge accepted Buster: Good Buster: Don't really wanna have to disown you before the day's out Ava: Least there's enough of 'em to fall back on should you get the urge Ava: I'll survive Buster: Keep that quiet around mum, it's still them and us with her Ava: Sounds familiar 🙄 Buster: You're bound to hear it yet again by the time she's had a few Ava: Not if I have anything to do with it Buster: Sounds like you've got a plan Ava: As planned as a party should ever be Buster: Yeah Ava: 💃🎉 Ava: Hurry up Buster: Traffic's worse than London at its finest right now Buster: Everyone on the road's either already wasted or angry they ain't Ava: Stay safe Buster: 'Course Buster: Speaking of, where you staying tonight? Ava: Tipsy childcare is better than no childcare Ava: No need to beg Buster: Shut up, I'll drive you is all I'm saying Ava: Cheers 💙 Buster: I'll cash the IOU when you're sober, like Ava: Better cash it before I cash my 2nd present then Buster: Forget it for now, it's a holiday Ava: That's what I've been saying Buster: You ain't gotta tell me, even if today I can't play as hard as I work Buster: Still not a fucking amateur Ava: Still a McKenna Buster: First and best Ava: Hardly Buster: If we're going by mum's them and us viewpoint, there's hardly any competition Buster: Just you and me, kid Ava: Well I'm just saying, Granddad is gonna be fuming Buster: Everything you learned about wrapping dad round your little finger you got from watching me with him Buster: I ain't worried Ava: Pfft Ava: My baby blues are bluer and my pout is poutier Ava: I'm the new model, boy Buster: 'Cause you need 'em to fall back on Buster: I'm just that good Buster: you're the youngest model that's all Buster: Due a spectacular fuck up about now Ava: You wish Ava: On all counts Buster: Nah, I'm rooting for you Buster: 'Course I am Ava: Mhmm Ava: Dead convincing 😏 Buster: I always am Buster: Wig or no wig Ava: So soppy, you Ava: Have title of my best big brother Buster: That's a copout but whatever Ava: And fussy Ava: Alright best sibling but that isn't much more of an achievement really Buster: Don't worry about it Buster: I know how great I am Ava: Yeah yeah, blah blah Buster: Get me the least shit sounding soft drink and I'll believe you Ava: If there's anything being tragically underage has taught me Ava: 👍 Buster: Cheers Buster: See you in 5 Ava: Bring your cute kid Buster: I taught him how to say “Sláinte” earlier so you'll be able to rate my achievements for yourself Buster: He ain't just a pretty face Ava: 🥺🥰 Ava: What a face though Buster: I can't take all the credit Buster: He takes after his mother Buster: Tell her how good she looks when we get in, yeah? I'm living a nightmare Ava: 'Course Ava: I've got a girlfriend, remember Ava: I know the drill, just amp up period level love 1000% for a pregnant bitch Buster: My wife ain't a insecure teenager Buster: But I appreciate the sentiment Buster: Just don't call her a bitch ever again Ava: I say it with love Ava: from one to another Ava: but got it, I'll remind her she's old Buster: Don't Buster: It'll be your funeral Ava: 😂 I only like winding you u Ava: p Ava: Don't need anyone crying on me Buster: Good Buster: I don't need to be breaking up any girl fights Buster: Especially when I've taught you both everything I know Ava: Even if me hitting a girl is more acceptable than you, I think everyone draws the line at a pregnant one Buster: Fine, I don't wanna pick you up off the floor once she's knocked you out and do a concussion test after someone pours a pint over you to bring you round Buster: I was trying to soften the blow of how it'll play out since I'd be powerless to stop the actual Ava: And I thought you were in the festive spirit Ava: 🙄 Ava: I'll take back this virgin cocktail, like 😏 Buster: Not without any spirits in me Buster: You'll have to take what you can get Ava: Few folk songs and you'll be well into it Buster: Voice of an angel, obviously Buster: Could've been a choir boy if not for everything else Ava: You took living vicariously a wee bit hard with the name already Buster: You'd have preferred me to name him after a silent film star, yeah? Ava: That was pure wishful thinking 🙊🤐🤫 Buster: Fucked over as my boy's been by not being named Rudolph Valentino or Roscoe Arbuckle, I reckon he'll be alright Buster: Cheers though Ava: I think Fatty murdered someone Ava: so as far as aspirations go, you're in the right direction Buster: I always am Buster: Never a misstep made, no matter what mum and dad say Ava: Alright 👼 its St Paddy's not confessional Ava: and the priest would be rare pissed off if you waltzed in and said you'd never done anything wrong 😂 Buster: He'd be a fine one to talk Ava: The drama of it all Buster: Again, I don't need to be told Buster: There's a kid here asking for you, except shouting's more the word Ava: He gets it 👏 Ava: 💃 Buster: Come out before he legs it in

[thelohunter]

I used to write when I was drinking.

I used to write when I was drinking. After I’d had two or three beers and was feeling the sparkle in the air. The euphoria of the beginning of being drunk. I wrote arguably lovely pieces of text with abandon. Most, I kept private, but sometimes - I released them to the internet and let the people on the other side of the screens do with them what they would. I didn’t worry too much about publishing whatever I wanted thanks to the confidence that comes with a couple drinks. Today, I’m writing sober. I’ve been thinking about publishing this post for over a week, debating the pros and cons of being vulnerable on the internet. I just - right now - looked at myself in the mirror and felt like for the first time in a very long time, I looked back at me. So I opened this post again. This time, to publish it. With the encouragement and support of my doctor and loved ones, I am choosing to be brave, hold myself accountable, and share a bit of my story with you.

I have been drinking for fourteen years, and it has never been a casual thing for me. I fell in love with it the moment that curdled cocktail of a-little-bit-of-everything-in-my-friend’s-parent’s-liquor-cabinet-including-the-Bailey’s touched my lips. It made me feel powerful. It made me feel giddy. It made me feel like I could do anything I wanted. It connected me to my peers and was something to relate upon with strangers. It eased my anxieties and made me forget about stress. I enjoyed and abused all of these wonderful side effects… that is, until the next day. The day after drinking, I would wake up reluctantly and immediately feel like dying. Not only due to the physical hangover, which would happen occasionally, but the emotional hangover I experienced was much more debilitating. My social anxiety was what was pounding in my head. My severe depression and lack of motivation for life was what would keep me in bed. I can’t tell you how many times I have contemplated suicide after a night of drinking. And it makes sense! Science has told us time and time again, alcohol is a depressant. When I was in this horrible state of darkness and emotional pain, what was the only thing that I knew (at the time) that would bring me out of it? Obviously, more alcohol. After all, the cure to a hangover is “hair of the dog.” More alcohol. For at least twelve years, I have been living a vicious cycle of drinking, then drinking more to ease the effects of drinking, then drinking the next day to ease that, and again the next day to ease that and that and that on top of that. It became habitual in my day-to-day life. A beer while I cooked, a couple beers with dinner, a few casual beers with friends that turned into going in on a bottle of tequila and drinking the entire thing in a couple hours. I became dependent on every drink I had, needing it to not only function in social settings but to purely even survive. To keep the depression and the suicidal thoughts at bay. Until the next morning, when I could drink enough again to push them deep enough to not see them for one more day. I realized that this all was becoming a problem and an unhealthy lifestyle when my partner participated in “Sober October” a couple months back. He wasn’t drinking, so I drank even more. I realized how hard it would be for me to NOT drink for one month like he was doing. How would I go out and do anything? I told him I wanted to cut back on the drinking and moderate myself better. That lasted about two days. Then it was Halloween. Surely, it’s okay to cheat and drink on a holiday like Halloween! I got wasted. The next day I woke up and sure enough - felt like dying. The hangover was so awful physically and emotionally that for probably the twentieth time in my life I said outloud “I’m never drinking again.” It has been one month and three weeks. Every day I feel more clear and more sure that this is the right thing for me to be doing right now. I can’t promise forever, yet, or that I won’t have a glass of champagne on a special occasion in the future. But for now, sobriety is the way I’m going to save my own life. It comes with many challenges. I feel bored and lonely sometimes, missing my old way of life. One thing was for sure - it kept things interesting. For better or worse. I hope to be able to be out and about, at parties, and Art Walks, and concerts, and bachelorettes, and feel like I’m authentically myself. Having fun, dancing, being wild if I want to be, but just without the alcohol. I am happy to say that I've been dipping my toe in, and the water is a lot less scary every day. It would make things easier if alcohol weren’t literally everywhere. It’s like breaking up with your long term partner who you truly loved and you had a passionate relationship with… and then they become a viral sensation overnight and their face and voice is on every billboard and Netflix series, they make appearances at every event, they’re your next door neighbor, and all your friends have cute, little tiny versions of them inside their fridges, like The Borrowers. And they’re so cute because they’re so small and you just want to be friends so badly but you can’t because there’s too much history. Since I have decided to be without alcoholic beverages, I have seen a drastic improvement in the way I look, how I sleep, my cognitive skills, my confidence in myself, and my overall happiness and outlook on life. Not to mention my relationships. I am a better friend, I am a better partner, I am a better family member. I’ve taken my own selfish need to drink out of the equation, which has left me with space and patience in my heart, allowing me to be more considerate of others. I’m grateful that I woke up and realized what I needed to do and that it’s been relatively easy to make a change. I know that isn’t the story for everyone and I feel for them. It’s a hard thing to give up. All that needed to happen for this change to manifest itself was that I needed to make the decision myself. I know I haven’t been sober for years and that I’m relatively new to this whole thing, and I know I don’t have all the answers or wisdom. Not at all. I just wanted to share my story with you in hopes that it would lead to better friendships and relationships in general. I want to be honest and open about this, because it is a big change for me and it's important to find support. Also, I thought of the people along the way that have inspired me and lead me to this change, and I wanted to thank them and give back. One of the people who got me thinking and wanting to do things differently was Demi Appleby. Demi, you are an incredible artist and an inspiration. Thank you for being brave and sharing your own story for the world to see. It has been resonating with me for quite some time now. I’m happy I can tell you that.

I appreciate any support I get from sharing my vulnerability with you, and know that I don’t judge anyone for partaking in the consumption of alcohol. I just personally had a complicated relationship with it, one that for now, is best left untouched.

[aiyh]

AUs are a problem I have

I found all the original posts in this series from my deactivated blog and collected them here.

you work the register at a store I frequent and I get super self-conscious that you’re judging my purchases AU

our kids got paired up to do a school project and I meant to just drop mine off at your house but we ended up talking for three hours AU

battle of the bands AU

made small talk while waiting for different flights and assumed we’d never see each other again AU

our grandparents are in the same nursing home and they hate each other AU

arrested at the same protest AU

classic literature professor vs. modern literature professor AU

I injured myself doing something stupid at a holiday party and you’re the doctor at the emergency clinic AU

volunteered to wait tables at your fancy charity fundraising dinner AU

how do you keep getting my name that wrong on my coffee cup AU

adjacent stands at the farmer’s market AU

risked my job by talking you out of buying a crappy product at the store where I work AU

only two people who bought tickets to see this movie AU

don’t really care if I win that giant stuffed animal but keep playing the carnival game you’re running just to see you AU

our dogs are in love with each other and it’s making things awkward at the dog park AU

who’s this asshole who keeps beating my high score on Pac-Man AU

it’s a total coincidence that I happen to water my plants at the same time you jog past my house AU

our manager is making us push this crappy item that no one needs but you thought my sales pitch was funny so you bought it AU

interviewed you for the newspaper AU

I desperately need you to fix my laptop but please don’t judge me for my browser history AU

chef/ restaurant critic AU

my kid’s hamster died while she was at school and I don’t know how to tell her about death so long story short does your pet store have a hamster that looks just like the one in this photo AU

rival local news stations AU

news anchor/ meteorologist AU

I planned a program at the library where I work and you’re the only person who showed up AU

you are definitely drunk-texting the wrong number but I’m bored so I’m gonna keep this going for a while AU

I hate flying but your snarky announcements are a good distraction and you have a nice voice and I might be calling you Captain Cutie in my head AU

I made a dumb science joke in class and you’re the only one who laughed AU

auditioning for the same part AU

accidentally got drunk at a wine tasting AU

you’re the only other person I’ve ever met who can quote this movie AU

everyone else in our dorm has gone out but I have the flu, and I just heard you coughing pathetically from the next room, wanna share my stash of cough drops and marathon Netflix with me? AU

showed up to a Halloween party in matching costumes AU

will you pretend to be my date to my family’s holiday party so they’ll stop harassing me about being single, there’s food in it for you AU

Christmas lights rivalry AU

I found a bunch of your stuff when I moved into this apartment and I have no idea who you are but I think we might be soulmates AU

I teach in this classroom in the mornings and you teach in the evenings and we communicate entirely through notes left on the board AU

how the hell does your cat keep getting into my house AU

I volunteered for a sex study and you’re the lead researcher and thank god it’s acceptable for me to be turned on in this situation because damn AU

You’re the prosecutor and I’m the defense attorney on the most ridiculous case either of us have ever heard of and I don’t know about you but I’m not sure how much longer I can be serious about this thing AU

Got into an absurdly heated argument in the comments on a mutual friend’s Facebook post AU

Rival street performers AU

You keep bringing your car into my shop with a series of increasingly unlikely problems and my professional opinion is it’d be cheaper for you to just ask me to dinner already AU

Our families are having funeral visitations at the same time and we’re both hanging around outside because we can’t deal AU

I spent a whole subway ride checking you out but didn’t have the nerve to talk to you and thought I’d never see you again but you just showed up on Humans of New York AU

Cheering for opposing teams at a sports bar AU

My kid shoplifted from your store and I marched her back here to apologize to you AU

Why didn’t you tell me this cabin was haunted before I rented it from you AU

Character performers who only see each other at ren faires AU

My band plays at this restaurant every Friday and you always show up and make obscure requests and I know you’re trying to stump me but you’ve severely underestimated how much of a music geek I am AU

I’m the caterer and you’re the florist on a huge expensive wedding and we bond over what an awful person the mother of the bride is AU

We’re chaperoning kids at the same skating rink party and the last couple’s skate was pathetic so what do you say we show these little punks how it’s done AU

We’re both trying to get an apartment in this city at the same time as a million other people and I’m tired of competing for the same ones as you so I think it’s time we joined forces AU

Adjacent shops Christmas decorations war of escalation AU

We work at competing gossip magazines and keep trying to outdo each other’s ridiculous stories AU

Our moms belong to the same garden club and are fiercely competitive about their gardens and keep sending us to pick up supplies for them and would have matching heart attacks if they found out we’re hooking up every trip AU

My kid is in your class and you called me in for a parent-teacher conference and I don’t know what she did but she didn’t learn it from me and wait what do you mean you think she should skip a grade AU

We’re neighbors and I’m telling you this as a friend but if you give out pencils for Halloween again this year I’m going to look the other way when the kids roll your yard AU

I accidentally caught the neighbors’ yard(s) on fire while burning leaves and I didn’t think it could get worse but the volunteer fireman reprimanding me is gorgeous and clearly thinks I’m an idiot AU

I bought this talisman from your occult shop and I know you warned me but I didn’t think this stuff was real but it IS and now I need you to make it go away AU

You just sold a bunch of old books to my secondhand store for cheap and one of them’s worth a fortune and my partner will kill me if he finds out but I think you should have the money AU

I didn’t mean to get you arrested, I thought I was helping AU

I’m planning a heist and I need your very specific skillset to pull it off but when I tracked you down you’d become an alcoholic and spend your days cheating at video poker AU

Your pizza keeps getting delivered to my house by mistake and I need to talk to you about your choice of toppings AU

Prison chaplain/ wrongfully convicted death row inmate AU

You bring my grandmother a basket of homemade candy every Christmas and she keeps dropping hints about how great you are so we should probably go out at least once—you know, just to make grandma happy AU

I was down on my luck and had lost the will to live when I heard you playing the fiddle and long story short I think you saved my life AU

The PTA bake sale is coming up and you’ve outsold me two years in a row so I’m pulling out all the stops AU

I just quit my job and put all my belongings in a U-Haul and started driving, you’re the hitchhiker I picked up on a whim who I’m starting to think is a dangerous fugitive AU

Graffiti artist/ mural painter AU

You’re the only major film critic who hated my movie and I need to talk to you about it because I agree with you AU

[worryinglyinnocent]

Fic: A Time for Family

Summary: It’s the annual Lab Nights ‘verse Christmas fic! At some point I will have to stop writing these but this year is not that year. You can read previous years’ instalments here.

The Gold family gather for Christmas alongside all their friends from the hospital, and welcome Emma into their celebrations for the first time. Set four years after last year’s fic, with bonus Sea Devil and Swanfire!

As a reminder, this AU is set in the UK.

Rated: G

=====

A Time for Family

“So, tell me again who’s going to be at this Christmas party? I don’t want to get confused.”

Bae racked his brains to remember. It was the first time in several years that none of the extended hospital family were working on Christmas Day, and to celebrate such a momentous occasion, Aunt Elvira had decided to host a huge Christmas dinner, with everyone invited.

“My dad and step-mum, my half-sister, my great-aunt, my godmother and her girlfriend, my dad’s best friend and her girlfriend, and the cat. Oh, and you and me, of course.” He paused. “It’s not too late to back out if you want to. I’m sure that somewhere will be open and we can get a last-minute turkey. Or Chinese.”

Emma shook her head, the antlers on her headband waving wildly as she put her coat on. “No way. I’m looking forward to a traditional family Christmas.”

“It’s not exactly traditional. I’m fairly sure that most families don’t have quite so many unrelated lesbians around the table. Dad and I are going to be completely outnumbered by women. Even the cat’s a girl!”

Emma gave a snort of laughter and kissed his cheek before they stepped out into the biting cold December air. It was his fourth Christmas in a committed relationship with Emma, and their second Christmas of living together. Knowing that Emma had no family of her own to spend the holidays with, they’d spent last year alone together, celebrating finding an apartment that they didn’t have to share with roommates. This year, though, Emma had wanted to accept Aunt Elvira’s invitation and experience a large family Christmas, since the Golds had more or less adopted her with open arms as one of their own – especially Elvira, who was never happier than when she had someone else to cook for.

“So, they all work in medicine?” she asked.

“Yes. Well, Ursula’s a marine veterinarian so I’m not sure she counts. And Rosie’s only just started school. And the cat, obviously. We’ve got two nurses, one retired nurse, two pathologists and an NHS financial manager.”

Emma raised an eyebrow. “How the hell did you end up becoming an architect?”

X

“Belle, sweetheart, there’s really no need to be nervous.”

Belle did not stop her pacing up and down the dining room, occasionally twitching a napkin or adjusting a place setting, and Rum sighed.

“Look, you’ve met Emma plenty of times before, it’s not like you have to make a good first impression.”

“I know, but this is different.”

“How?”

“This is Emma’s first big family Christmas, and it’s got to be perfect.”

“Belle, if there’s one thing that I’ve learned during my time on this earth, it’s that there is no such thing as a perfect Christmas. The sooner you accept that, the easier today is going to be. Something is bound to go wrong, but that’s all part of Christmas, and no-one will mind, and everyone will have a good laugh about it.”

Belle finally came to a stop, her shoulders slumping. Rum came over to her, wrapping his arms around her.

“It’s going to be fine,” he said. “I promise. There is no perfect family Christmas. There’s only our family Christmas, which in its very nature will be perfect. Now, I think I can hear Ella and Ursula arguing in the driveway, so let’s go and let them in, and check that Rosie hasn’t accidentally poisoned us all in her efforts to help Aunt Elvira make the Christmas dinner.”

They left the dining room, where they had escaped to for a few minutes’ peace and quiet after the chaos of Rosie opening her first few Christmas presents and before the guests arrived for lunch. It was time for Christmas to really begin.

X

“You can’t be serious. Eggnog is the most disgusting concoction ever to be concocted and you want to make it even worse by adding gin?”

“Gin improves everything, darling.” Ella checked her make-up in her compact mirror as she waited for the door to be opened, paying no attention to her partner’s despairing looks.

Ursula sniffed. “It’s a waste of perfectly good gin if you ask me.”

“Well, you’re designated driver for today, so you don’t have to worry, do you?” Ella smiled sweetly and Ursula rolled her eyes. Thankfully, at that moment the door opened. There was a bit of a kerfuffle when it came to actually getting through the door and into the house, because Rosie had bene the one to greet their guests and she’d had to get a step-stool in order to reach the latch; in the end Belle had to rush to the rescue to prevent the hallway turning into an obstacle course.

“Hello ladies,” she said eventually, once everyone was inside and divesting themselves of coats. “Can I get you a drink to warm you up?”

Ella grinned broadly at the prospect. “Is there any possibility of a G&T?”

Belle gave her a look. “Aunt Elvira lives here. We are always plentifully supplied with G&T.”

They made their way into the dining room and Belle set about mixing drinks. Just as everyone had a glass in their hand and they were about to raise a toast, the doorbell went again and Regina and Mal were welcomed into the fray.

Sipping her gin, after exchanging greetings of the season with the newcomers, Ella wondered just how they had all ended up becoming such good friends. They’d all been working at the same hospital together for longer than Ella cared to remember, but she’d never really known how they’d managed to find each other and stay so close. Mal and Gold obviously worked in the same department, and Ella and Mal had dated briefly once upon a time before deciding that they were better off as friends, and now they were one big happy family.

Rosie was darting in and out of the adults’ legs, as excited as any self-respecting four-year-old ought to be on Christmas Day, and after the third time she’d scrambled up onto the window seat and tweaked back the voile modesty curtains, Ella realised that she was looking out for Bae and Emma.

Ursula caught the direction that she was looking in and gave her a stern look.

“You’re not going to embarrass Emma,” she warned.

“I entertained no thoughts of doing anything of the sort!” Ella exclaimed with mock hurt. Although, that said, she was probably going to have to tone down her sense of humour a bit. It was all right when it was just the hospital family group – everyone was used to each other’s ribbing and everyone had been on the receiving end of Ella’s wicked tongue more than once. She knew that once they all got together, they could be lethal to the outsider. She remembered Belle’s reaction the first time that she’d been in a room with Gold, Ella, Ursula, Regina and Mal, and she really didn’t want to sabotage what was likely Bae’s future marriage because she couldn’t keep her double entendres under wraps for one evening.

“Bae’s here!” Rosie squealed as a taxi pulled up outside the house, and she rushed off to gather the step stool and let her beloved older brother into the house.

“Excellent, everyone’s here now.” Elvira bustled into the dining room, waving her tea towel. “The turkey was about to be overdone.”

Bae and Emma were shown into the room with enthusiastic fanfare from Rosie, and through no fault of her own, Ella found herself being seconded into helping Belle and Elvira carry dishes of food through from the kitchen to the dining room. Ella’s stomach was growling just from the smell of it. She’d known for years that Aunt Elvira was a fantastic cook, back from the very first time that she’d sampled her Christmas cake when Gold had smuggled some into the hospital.

Everything made it to the table in one piece, despite Elvira almost tripping over Patches the cat, who was hanging around in the doorway hoping that the turkey would fall off its tray and she could have the entire thing to herself. At last, everyone was seated, steam rising off the dishes.

In her customary place at the head of the table, the matriarch of their extended and unconventional family, Elvira paused with the carving knife and fork in her hands, ready to plunge them into the ridiculously large turkey with all the precision of the surgeons.

“Before we begin, I want to say a couple of words,” she said. “It’s so rare for everyone to be here, together, at Christmas time. I want to say welcome to Emma, and I hope you enjoy what will, hopefully, be the first of many Christmases to come here. We’ve all been through so much in the time that we’ve known each other, but as long as I see you all around my table at Christmas, I know that everything that’s happened has been worth it to bring us all together. So, Nollaig Chridheil to you all, and let’s eat.”

“Nollaig Chridheil,” Gold echoed. Ella didn’t even try; she’d mangled Gaelic enough times during her friendship with Gold that she knew not to attempt it on a stomach empty of anything except gin. She remembered a New Year’s Eve in the pathology department, her and Gold and Mal sitting in the break room drinking non-alcoholic eggnog and singing Auld Lang Syne. She was never usually one for being sentimental, but the memory always made her smile. Elvira was right. They’d known each other for so long and seen so much, and the addition of Christmas cheer always made everything better.

X

The evening was drawing to a close. It had been a riotous afternoon of present-opening, but ultimately, it had been a success. Rosie was already in bed, sound asleep, the adrenaline kick of Christmas finally worn off. Regina and Mal had departed, ready for Mal to start work at half past six in the morning, and the living room was feeling like slightly less of a squeeze. Even though there were spare seats now, Belle was still sitting on Rum’s lap. She liked it there, he had a very comfortable lap, and he had made no indication that he wanted her to move.

Belle glanced over at Emma and Bae. Although she had gone out of her way to try and make Emma feel welcome and part of the family – at this stage Emma was part of the family, whether she realised it or not – Belle had been worried that she’d feel left out in amongst all the in-jokes between the people who had known each other for a lot longer. Ella had managed to mostly behave herself, and luckily all Elvira’s scandalous tales of Christmases gone by had involved making fun of Rum for the drunken exploits he’d gotten up to whilst he was still a medical student.

Emma gave as good as she got, though, and if her grin was anything to go by, then she seemed to be enjoying herself. She hadn’t taken off her antlers all day, which had made her a huge hit with Rosie who then needed to be firmly persuaded to take off her own in order to go to bed.

Soon enough, though, it was time for Bae and Emma to take their leave. Belle was on the verge of asking them to stay, they had a spare room after all, but she appreciated that they were bright young things and they needed their own space and some time to themselves after a day spent around older friends and relatives who were trying and occasionally failing to be on their best behaviour in front of the newbie.

Belle and Rum escorted them to the door as their taxi pulled up.

“I hope you had a good time,” she said to Emma. “I know that Ella and Mal and Rum can be a bit much when you get them all in the same room together.”

“Oh no, it was brilliant. Thanks so much for inviting me. And thank Aunt Elvira for the food as well, it was amazing.” She smiled. “I’ve gone from having no family to having more family than I know what to do with, and whilst it’s going to take a bit of getting used to, I’d rather have it this way.”

“You’re always very welcome for Christmas. Or any other time of year, of course.”

“Thanks, Belle.”

They said their goodbyes, and Belle gave a happy little sigh as they shut the door on the cold winter’s night and she leaned back against it.

“See, that wasn’t so nerve-wracking, was it?” Rum asked lightly. There was a little smirk at the corner of his mouth, and Belle raised an eyebrow.

“No, it wasn’t.” She paused. “You know, we should probably go back into the living room. We have guests after all.”

“I’m sure that Ella and Ursula can entertain themselves for a little while.” Rum leaned on the door, penning her in with his arms, and Belle hooked her own around his neck. “I mean, with all our visitors and with Rosie waking us up at the crack of dawn to open her presents, we’ve barely had a moment to ourselves all day.”

Belle grinned and leaned in for a kiss. Rum tasted of whisky and Christmas pudding, and she remembered the very first time that she had kissed him, eight years ago today in this very hallway. It felt like a lifetime ago, but it was still so very fresh in her mind, and she still felt the same thrill.

“Ahem.”

A cough from the living room doorway had them breaking apart like guilty teenagers, which had also happened the first time that they’d kissed. Elvira was standing there, arms folded, looking stern but with that twinkle in her eye that betrayed her true feelings.

“Young love,” she muttered. “Bae and Emma I’d understand, but you two are supposed to be sedate and responsible, not necking in the hallway.”

“Aunt Elvira, if the tales you were telling of my college days were anything to go by, then you’ll know full well that I have never been sedate and responsible,” Rum retorted.

“Well, that’s true. Are you coming back in here or not?”

Rum looked at Belle grinned, and shook his head.

“Not just yet, Aunt Elvira.”

She rolled her eyes and went back into the living room, closing the door firmly behind her. Belle giggled and pulled her husband in for another kiss.

God, she loved this family.

[servantofmischief]

Christmas

I am so sorry! I promised I would have it up sometime during last week, but I lost track of time and had a lot to do, but here you go, Fluff-Anon! 

When Uta had proclaimed that he’d go on an art trip for a whole year, his friends had supported him. They knew that this was something really important to him, and now that there was a somewhat steady peace between ghouls and humans, he had the chance at fulfilling this dream.

Itori will readily admit that she felt a bit bummed after he had been gone for a while, when she realized she had to celebrate her birthday without him. To his credit, he did make a phonecall to congratulate her and at the moment it had seemed enough. Then, once they had ended the call and she had been left alone in her bar, she had felt lonelier than ever.

She doesn’t feel any better now, when it is Christmas Eve and her bar is nearly empty because most people have someone to celebrate with. And she does not, because her partner in crime is halfway across the world. She keeps up the act of cheery barmaid for as long as she can, consoling herself with the fact that she is going to close the bar early tonight. No one is going to come and drink until the wee hours in the morning tonight. It is hard to keep the act up though, until it is near closing time.

And Renji enters the establishment.

“Ren-chan!” She jumps at the chance for a distraction from her depressing thoughts and feels a little less lonely when he sits down in front of her. Once everyone is gone, and the door is locked, she offers him a choice between wine and coffee. He grunts, and the answer is obvious. He can’t hold his liquor for shit, of course he wants coffee. She pouts, calls him a party pooper, but lulls the coffee machine to life.

“What brings you here, Ren-chan? Aren’t you going to celebrate with Touka-chan, Kanekicchi and Ichi-chan?”

“No one should be alone on Christmas.” Renji says, thanking her as she sets a cup of coffee in front of him. She fills herself a glass of wine, because even if Renji is here right now, she needs something stronger than coffee.

“Oh, were you thinking of me? How sweet of you, Ren-chan!” She gush, but he gives her that look that tells her he knows she is putting up a front. And she’s tired of faking smiles tonight anyway.

“Am I so transparent now?” She asks, smile falling off her face.

“Hn.” She takes a sip from her glass, mulling.

“You’re also invited over. Touka thought you might be lonely tonight.” Renji informs her and the redhead huffs.

“Contrary to what everyone else believes, I do have other friends than you and U-chan.”

“Are these friends real?” She glares at him, actually upset by his comment because no, they are not.

“Be quiet!” But he doesn’t keep quiet, surprisingly.

“Are you okay?” To have Yomo Renji, of all people, notice how she’s not her usually cheerful self, is kind of sad, but she explains to him how it feels kind of weird, and lonely, that for the first time for as long as she can remember, she will not be celebrating Christmas with Uta. Itori never once celebrated any birthday or holiday before she met the mask maker, so everything feels wrong, but she had honestly been excited on his behalf when he told her he had found the chance to go on this trip. A trip that would let him experience all kinds of art. Even though she knew he would be gone for quite some time, she hadn’t thought it would feel this bad.

“But he was so excited, it was almost like when we were kids again. He’s been wanting to go on this kind of trip since he figured out he was good at art, that he loved doing it.”

“For what it is worth,” Renji says as he stares into his coffee, “I think that you supporting him meant a lot to him.”

“I’ve always supported him.” Itori says quietly, grip tightening on her glass. “From when we were kids, I’ve always had his back. Hey, Ren-chan?” The male turns his head to look at her, and his eyes widen at the sight that meets him.

“Am I being stupid?” She asks, tears falling from her eyes. She doesn’t even bother attempting at stopping the waterfall. She’s kept this bottled up inside for so long, she’s wanted someone to talk to, but she’s had no one she felt like she could confide in. When humans and ghouls considered each other enemies, when the Clowns had been active, she had distracted herself with orchestrating the tragedies that took place, but now that they live in peace with humans, there are no more fights to create and watch over.

“Uh…” Renji doesn’t know what to say and that makes Itori laugh as she cries.

“I am stupid, aren’t I? I’m stupid for loving him! He’s going to find someone on this trip who is an artist like him, and he’s going to stay with them in whatever-country! Even worse, he might bring them home!” As he embraces his friend and tries to calm her down, Renji also sends a text-message to Touka to tell her he might be late.

Uta himself is feeling a bit lonely as well. There is a museum that is open today, but considering what day it is, it will probably close early. He’s still in bed in his hotel, it’s still early, but in Tokyo it is probably late by now. It is still better to call now though, than in the evening because he is sure no one will answer him then. He takes a shower and dresses himself, before heading out. The people outside are running around, carrying bags and boxes and nearly yelling into their phones. They are stressed, because Christmas is upon them and they must finish the last preparations before they can celebrate and Uta thinks about what his friends back home is doing right now. Back home, Renji is probably with the Kaneki household, Uta muses. Nico is probably scouring the streets for the one, the Nishikis are probably doing some kind of form of experimentations, Naki and Miza are having their hands full with their new family, most likely, and Itori…

Itori is most likely alone in her bar.

Uta misses her. A lot. This trip is fun, but it’s lonely too. He never expected to feel like this… the trip is fun, he just shouldn’t have gone all alone. And the coffee is awful. No one can compare to :Re, but it’s all he’ll get until he returns. He enters a café, asks for a cup of coffee, and pops in his earphones as he takes a seat by a table. He dials Itori’s number, hoping she’s got some time for a video-call and when she doesn’t pick up immediately he thinks that she’s either perhaps busy or asleep. He’s about to give up when she does answer. Her hair is covering half of her face and her eyes blink sleep from them.

“Oh my, did I wake you?”

“U-chan? What time is it?” Itori squints at her phone.

“Well, it’s almost noon here.” He quips.

“Where are you now? It’s two in the morning here.” She yawns.

“I’m in the states.” She brightens, eyes twinkling as he sleepiness is soon forgotten.

“How is it there? Are the Christmas decorations just as over-exaggerated as they are in the movies?” He laughs at her excitement and nods.

“Almost. They take it very seriously.”

“Ara, U-chan! Bring me a souvenir!”

“Do you have a gift for too, then?” She rolls her eyes and reaches out to beside the bed, before appearing on screen again, holding a small package.

“I have your Christmas gift right here, not that you’re here to open it in time.”

“Yeah, well-“ Uta is interrupted when a waitress sits down his coffee on the table as she cheerfully tells him to enjoy his beverage.

“Cheery girl.” Itori’s voice has lost some of it’s cheer and Uta blinks. She’s slid properly beneath the covers again, and she’s pouting.

“Hm, yes.” Apparently that is not the answer the redheaded ghoul wants to hear, as her eyes darken. “But as for my gift for you, what do you want?” Changing the topic seem to work. He sits for a long time with her as she lists all the things she’d like and Uta realizes he’ll have a hard time choosing from her list. His cup is almost empty by the time she’s out of things she wants him to bring home to her.

“Hm, that’s a lot.” He says, taking on a thoughtful expression. “How about you come with me next time?” There’s a pause as Itori tilts her head, watching him.

“Will there be a second trip?” She doesn’t sound all that enthusiastic about the prospect, and Uta himself misses his friends and his shop.

“Only if you come with.” He says. He misses Itori, their nights in the bar, the easy conversations which seem a bit difficult to have over the phone. He misses being able to just head over and visit whenever he wants. Itori thinks back to what she had told Renji earlier, how she has admitted to him the feelings she holds for the mask maker, her inner conflict over what to do, wondering if there even is something for her to do. She had been so surprised when the stoic ghoul had actually embraced her. Renji is usually so awkward when it comes to comforting others and Itori’s never sought comfort from anyone.

“Do what you must.” He had told her. “Don’t worry about what’ll happen, do what you have to do to feel better. No matter what, I’ll be here to listen.” And then, when he left, she had gone to bed with a newfound courage. She had believed she had a few months left until she could say anything, to have some time to think through her words.

“If it’s you and me, I guess I could tag along.” She mumbles, hiding her pink cheeks behind her pillows.

“Good.” He smiles. “You weren’t alone today, were you?” He asks and she shakes her head.

“Ren-chan came by.”

“Oh? Did you celebrate together?” He can’t exactly say that he’s unhappy that Renji came by, but there’s a dark emotion brewing in the back of his mind at the thought of the two of them alone.

“No, we just talked for a bit.” Her cheeks darken and she casts her eyes down, avoiding eye-contact, and that dark emotion grows. It’s jealousy, he gathers, though he tries to reason with himself that he’s the one who left on this trip, and that he never once told Renji how he feels about the redhead. If Renji holds the same feelings, then Uta left the playing field completely open by leaving on this trip.

“How nice.” Uta hears how forced he’s own voice sounds. Itori must have picked up on it too, because she looks up at him, eyes wide in confusion. That’s what alerts him to the redness of her eyes, and he comes to the startling realization that Itori has cried. He can’t remember the last time she did that.

“Itori-san, what’s wrong?”

“Wrong?”

“You’ve been crying?” Her eyes widen some more and she is suddenly in a hurry to end the call.

“Nothing’s wrong! Hurry up and finish your trip and come home!” She says and the screen goes black. He blinks at the screen, before he gets up from his chair and dials a new number.

“It’s three in the morning-“

“Tough luck.” Uta growls. He’s feeling a bit angry now, and he’d rather not cause a scene as he pays for his coffee. Just because Japan promotes peace, it doesn’t mean the rest of the world does.

“I’m about to go back to my hotel. Stay awake, Raven, I need to have a chat with you.”

“It can’t wait four hours?”

“No.” There’s a steely undertone to his voice which Renji haven’t heard since they were teenagers, so he wisely keeps quiet until Uta reaches his hotel room. He uses that tie to wake up properly so he can talk properly to his friend, and perhaps make some sense out of whatever it is that made the mask maker angry.

“I heard you stopped by Itori-san’s place earlier.” Uta says the moment he shuts the door behind himself. Renji blinks.

“Yes, to wish her a merry Christmas.”

“Then why has she been crying? What did you do, Renji-kun?” The silver-haired ghoul frowns on the other end before sighing.

“We were just talking. She had an issue, and instead of bottling it up, she let it all out and told me about it.” Uta is the one who frowns this time.

“What issue?” He hasn’t heard anything about a problem Itori might have.

“It’s not exactly something I’m comfortable with telling you. Ask her yourself when you get back.” Renji tells him, running a hand through his hair. “It’s personal, so ask her about it when you return. I assume she’ll have everything sorted out by then.”

“Renji-“

“No. I’m tired, this has nothing to do with me, enjoy your trip, call me when it’s actually appropriate to do so, like after eight in the morning.” Renji ends the call and leaves Uta pouting. True, he did call at an ungodly hour, but they could both have entertained him a bit longer. He’s curious about Itori’s alleged problem though.

Three days later, as Itori moves is cleaning up behind her bar, the door opens. She is about to tell whoever it is that has entered that she has closed, but nearly drops the bottle in her hands when she sees Uta enter.

“U-chan?” She nearly shrieks.

“Yo.”

“Wha- Aren’t you in the states?” She’s more than just a little bewildered. This explains why there had been no phone calls after Christmas, but still, what is he doing here?

“Renji-kun told me that something was bothering you and that I could help, so I came back.” Renji had never said he could help, but Uta had come home anyway, because he is worried. He is worried that Itori kept something bottled up, that she didn’t feel like she could confide in him, and that whatever is troubling her caused her to cry. Itori frowns. She thinks it is sweet of him, to cancel his trip and come home the moment he learns that she is troubled.

“Ren-chan said that? When?”

“I called him after we spoke on Christmas.” Uta answers and the redhead groans. Renji has for once not kept quiet. The one time she needed him to actually be quiet he blabbers like a gossip-loving teenager.

“What did he tell you?”

“That I should ask you yourself when I came back, because you would probably have it all sorted out by then. So, have you sorted it out?” Never mind the fact that Uta should still be gone for another four months, Itori thinks. Of course she hasn’t sorted it all out yet, with only a few days having gone by since she decided to actually spill the beans, so to speak.

“Obviously not. Lock the door.” She rolls her eyes and beckons him to come sit by the bar-counter. He does as told and waits for her to explain everything.

“It’s not a problem, not really. It’s just something that’s followed me for years.”

“Do I have to kill someone?”

“I doubt you will.”

“I can still kill, just point me in the right direction.”

“I don’t need anyone to die. If it was that simple, I’d do it myself.” She huffs and fills him a glass of blood-wine.

“Hm, true that. So, what’s bothering you?”

“Emotions.”

“Ah, they are a hassle, aren’t they?”

“Terribly so.” She agrees as she wipes the counter. Uta raises a brow, because usually when he visits and locks the door, she comes around and sits beside him. What is on her mind, he wonders.

“What’s on your mind, Itori-san?”

“I’m thinking about how to tell you this, without making everything complicated.” She tells him, ducking beneath the counter to rummage through the tiny shelves there for something, Uta doesn’t know what.

“You’re making this far too difficult, Itori-san. Just tell me and I’ll help you figure out a way to deal with it.”

“Absolutely sure of that?” She asks him, peering up from beneath the counter and he nods.

“Of course.”

“Okay then. Come here.” She stands up and motions for him to come closer as she smiles at him.

“You ready?” He nods. She leans even closer and whispers in his ear.

“I. Love. You. U-chan.” The expression on his face nearly makes her burst out laughing. His eyes are wide, his mouth hanging open, his expression a mix of disbelief and shock. She moves back to continue to clean up after her customers and lets Uta process what she’s told him. He doesn’t move for the longest time, but she doesn’t worry too much. It’s not like he showed a negative reaction to what she just told him. She does worry that she might have broken him a bit, but then again, that is an amusing thought too. She is about to turn off the lights and just leave him in the bar when he pulls out his phone and dials a number.

“Renji-kun, good evening. Also, what the fuck?!” This time she does laugh, and Uta spins in his seat, pointing at her.

“And you, you can’t laugh now!” His voice actually cracks and she curls in on herself, nearly falling over. They will have to talk about this later, have a good and long discussion where they figure out what to do, what they want to do, but right now she is more than amused with the display of the mask maker freaking out.

[missytearex]

To Read List - Zouis

This list is purely for myself to keep track of everything I still want to read. Its gonna change as I actually read though them and find more stuff to add.

Find fics I’ve already read here.

Zouis

far side of the moon by zouee

the one where louis’ summer holidays are blessed (or cursed) by the new boy next door.

promise me you won't regret me (like the tattoos on my skin) (orphan_account)

it seems like pain and regret are your best friends / cause everything you do leads to them / but baby i could be your best friend / and baby, i could fuck you right

the one where zayn's a stripper who swings both ways, louis' straight (or so he thinks), and harry's the gay best friend who wants to party. all. the time.

run away home with me (orphan_account)

Louis is suddenly and intoxicatingly glad to be here, under this sky and walking across this broken-up asphalt with Zayn, who is ridiculous and beautiful and looks on the whole world like it is both his for the unravelling and something that he will never be able to touch.

Very end of high school/summer before uni AU. Features approx. one instance of attending class, one study session, several dumb teenage parties, an end-of-an-era camping trip and a lot of feelings about getting older and falling for your best friend, as well as possibly slightly obsessive detailing of the weather.

I Wanna Dance With Somebody by FallingLikeThis

“Hey, Liam,” Louis asks before Niall’s best man can escape to the dancefloor with everyone else. “Who’s the DJ?”

“Oh, that’s Zayn Malik. He’s a good friend of ours. Why?” Liam asks, curiosity sparking in his eyes.

“Because I’m going to marry that man.”

somewhere in the night by alnima

Louis smiles at him back and hopes that Zayn can’t see the swirl of emotion inside him. He’s a stranger and Louis is catching feelings, go figure. Leave it to him to take in a stray and want to keep him.

which one of you is the one you are by leighbot

A fortnight in America and Louis’ craved In-N-Out Burger every day. He tells himself it has nothing to do with a certain sharp-tongued and prickly-tempered pretty lad but he’s only partially lying. Or, Louis’ a Brit in America who is just trying to raise his daughter and excel at work. A pretty man and terribly unhealthy fast food are trying to make his life difficult. 

fire for a heart by alnima

“Then how come I’ve never noticed him before?” Louis asks, because he knows everyone. Or well, he knows most everyone. That’s his thing. He knows people. That doesn’t mean he’s friends with them or that he likes them all – or that they like him – but still. Zayn somehow slipped under his radar and he doesn’t understand how. Zayn is—Louis would have noticed him.

“He’s shy. He’s not really concerned about being known,” Liam says, like that’s an explanation for it. And maybe it is. Maybe not everyone wants the world to know their name like Louis does. “And why are you so concerned about him? Do you like him or something?”

“I don’t even know him, Liam, don’t be ridiculous.”

Or the one where Louis is on the football team, Zayn is in yearbook, and they make it work.

Break My Bones But You Won't See Me Fall by catholicschoolgirl

"Maybe Louis was growing up. Maybe this was his coming of age story."

Or, Louis is Bella Swan, Zayn is Edward Cullen, and vampires are totally real.

Deadly Jokes by zouisprince

Louis is a well-known criminal with a wicked sense of humor; Zayn is just the doctor who should be taking care of him, but Louis is too fascinating for his own good. (A highly-adapted Joker/Harley Quinn AU)

Where the Heaven Are We? by Gebiurl (fookin_tossah)

Louis likes weed, some weird indie band, and Zayn. Zayn likes art and not-Louis.

wasting days with you by strong

Coming in with a casual step and lazy uni student attire is a guy with a face Zayn’s got imprinted on his brain. Sullen cheeks, shifty eyes, loose tufts of brown hair falling over them from below his hood. He strolls past the front counter and down one of the aisles, checking everything out as if he doesn’t come in often enough to have it memorized.

“Need help, mate?” Zayn asks. It’s a part of their routine. I’m good, but..

“I’m good, but I’ll let you know,” the guy smiles at him, the grin never reaching his shaded eyes.

a tragically beautiful boy with blue eyes frequently steals from the store zayn works at, and zayn isn't sure what he wants to do more: help the guy out or kiss his heavenly face

Though the Stars Walk Backwards by manybumblebees

Zayn's been gone eighteen months, and the SGC have all but stopped looking for him.

One day, if Louis is very, very lucky, he’ll find a quantum mirror that’ll transport him to an alternate reality where he can call his commanding officer an idiot without losing his job.

ring of fire by countthestars

“One week,” Louis finally says, testing the words out loud. “You're giving me one week to get Zayn to kiss me in order to prove myself?” “By next week Saturday at midnight,” Liam says excitedly, like some kind of nightmare fairy godmother. “What could go wrong?” Niall adds. “I really don't want to be involved with this,” tacks on Harry. Louis' made worse choices. Probably. “You're on,” he says.

never ending math equation by liquidmeasure

Niall’s told him all about the winter. The way the snow creeps in through the cracks. The way the winds make you feel like the entire continent will be ripped up and away and tossed into the void. But that’s the bad days. Niall says on the good days, everything is still, save for the ice, and the stars flash like strobe lights and if you look up, you can see everything. You can see right through the universe. So that’s something to look forward to.

Or...Louis does science, Zayn is an enigma, Harry studies penguin poop and Niall fixes radios. Nobody knows how they feel, but Zayn knows how everyone feels.

For an office AU hate-to-lust prompt that i took a few (read: lots of) liberties with. It's sort of an office, it's just an office in Antarctica!

you came and you took this heart by styleslaurent

Louis has a pathetic crush on his daughter's teacher that he fails to hide, but when she decides to help him out, things eventually take a turn for the better. 

Run It For The Cardio by PigSlay

“I was right to be nervous around you that first day.” Zayn shakes his head, laughing angrily. “But for some reason I thought it was just because I was nervous about making new friends. Nah, I knew to be nervous about the fact that you’re an annoying tool who only cares about himself and hearing himself talk.”

“Wait a minute,” Louis smiles widely. “You were nervous meeting me?” Zayn has no idea why he’s smiling so widely right now. Being nervous around someone isn’t always a good thing – it could very well mean you’re afraid the other person will rob you or something.

Or the one where Zayn and Louis meet during art class at their university and their lives are never the same again.

Life and Choices by wellthatlookslikefun

"Three hours later, Zayn is questioning both his life and his choices as he brushes ash out of his hair for the second time in as many days.

“You know,” Louis starts, poking delicately at the melted puddle that used to be his cauldron, “I think I’m getting better.” He looks up at Zayn with a faux-innocent look. Zayn just manages to hold back his laughter at Louis’ smudged face and his bright, wide-eyed expression. Louis had very bright eyes, Zayn notices."

Or the one where Zayn somehow starts tutoring Louis in potions and Niall accidentally hits Zayn with an experimental spell that messes things up for a while but then makes everything better.

we've come a long way by graceana

For the rest of the movie Louis barely pays attention. He’s too focused on the words that Harry said. They keep echoing in the back of his mind: There are people who don’t experience sexual attraction. That’s Louis. That’s what he’s got to be. He wants to know more. He wants to meet people who are like him, who know what it feels like and how confused and scared it makes him.

there are two things louis is confused about. the first is his sexuality, or lack there of? he guesses. the second is why all of a sudden he has feelings for his best friend.

prompt: ACEFIC? Louis and Zayn are best friends who hang out all the time and everyone jokes about them being in love/life partners/boyfriends. They're both so hung up on the idea that dating = sex that they're oblivious to the fact that the joke isn't really a joke maybe until one of them starts going on dates with someone else? Maybe...slowly realizing that sex isn't everything, they've been more than friends for a while and figuring some things out. Non-sexual intimacy ok? Okay!

I'm Just A Reader, You're Every Chapter by Austinattack

"Go get Louis away from that prick," Harry slurred, reaching up to poke Zayn's cheek. "And like. Kiss him. You want to. I can tell."

Zayn glared down at Harry, and shrugged his shoulder so he couldn't lean on him anymore. "Fuck off."

Harry smirked and slipped his arms around Zayn. "You do. You liiiiiiike him," he gushed, wiggling closer, while Zayn's face warmed. "You should go kiss him. You should bring him over here and kiss him all over."

"Shut the fuck up, Harry."

or

Zayn and Louis are uni roommates, Zayn may have a crush, and Louis can't handle it.

Soaking In The Glory Of It All by fancyachatup

Football player and single father Louis Tomlinson meets Zayn Malik, famous artist and single dad.

Or

Louis and Zayn unknowingly go on a date with their kids and then go on a real one.

then i saw your face by countthestars

Louis snatches the picture off the fridge and retreats to the safe haven of his bedroom, stuffing it out of sight in a desk drawer where Niall can’t get his grubby hands on it. And like. So what if he refuses to throw it out? He needs evidence when he confronts Liam next week, doesn’t he? And so what if he’s spent maybe a little more time than necessary studying the pencil lines, tracing his fingers over the lead until it smears. It’s just. He never thought his face was that interesting. Never believed it could, like, inspire someone to recreate it.

or, the one in which Zayn is an art major and Louis has a hard time letting his guard down.

the cold never bothered me anyway by countthestars

Honestly, the whole super power thing is some grass is always greener bullshit. Zayn hadn't realized, before he developed a power, that it'd come with an obligation. It was sort of expected that he would dedicate his life to fighting evil.

Louis, though, he never saw coming.

Stay Quiet, Stay Near by parisienneheart

Zayn and Louis are community college skater bros on a last hurrah roadtrip along the California coastline before Zayn leaves to his transfer university. Louis harbors some angsty feelings about being left behind and realizes he might have more than friendly feelings for his best friend.

Aftermath by StormDancer

In another world, Zayn would be on the bed already, and Louis would be tasting every inch of him. He’d be writhing with pleasure, taken care of properly, shown what true pleasure can be, not just the pretense he’s probably had. He’d show Zayn that even in the camps, far away from the city glamour, there’s real pleasure. He’d have Zayn screaming his name, begging for him. In that other world, when Louis hadn’t won Zayn in a card game. When the chains around Zayn’s wrists that kept him with Louis were emotion, not gold.

two wheels of a different pair (but we're still rolling into something we don't know) by zouee

“Does it get tiring?” Louis asks, voice coming out softer than anticipated.

The response doesn’t come right away. For a moment, Louis thinks Zayn might actually be asleep; pulled under quickly despite their surroundings. Then he thinks Zayn’s making a point to ignore him and he considers leaving - the rejection making his heart sting. But in the next moment Zayn remains stone-still as he replies, mouth only moving slightly.

“What does?”

Louis turns his head, looks at him, “Pretending you don’t care.” _

When an out of town bikie storms into a restaurant placed on the outskirts, he doesn’t expect to meet the boy with bright eyes and devilish smile.

Set in the 1950’s.

you've got a pretty kind of dirty face by zouee

“what are you gonna do, zayn?” louis asks him, now noticing his lack of breath in his voice. he glances down towards zayn’s gun. “you gonna shoot me?”

-

louis' a bank teller and zayn's a thief.

high hopes by zouee

i know it's crazy to believe in silly things, but it's not that easy

Based off this video clip

Wicked At Midnight by Randominity

In which Louis is turned into a vampire, Nick is unhelpful, there's a rota, and everyone thinks things are going to go smoothly.

All You Have to Do by Randominity

Louis doesn't want to win Zayn over - he just wants to win.

somewhere in the night by alnima

Louis smiles at him back and hopes that Zayn can’t see the swirl of emotion inside him. He’s a stranger and Louis is catching feelings, go figure. Leave it to him to take in a stray and want to keep him.

make the world for you by alnima

“Okay, right.” Louis rolls his eyes and stabs his finger into Zayn’s wrist. “You’ve gotten like, a million new tattoos since the break up.”

“So what? I’m always getting new tattoos.”

“You’ve dyed your hair,” Louis says and Zayn runs his hands nervously over the silver hair on top of his head. It wasn’t a drastic decision or anything. And he doesn’t need Louis calling him out on it. “Just trust me, Zayn. This trip will really do you some good, okay?”

Zayn looks at his best friend and looks at the bag on the ground. It’s a crazy idea, it’s rash and absurd but maybe Louis is right. Maybe a trip around the world is just what he needs to figure out how to be Zayn again. He’s not sure himself, not sure about getting on a plane for hours but… He sighs, shaking his head.

“Alright. Yeah, let’s do this.”

Baby Bring Your Body by disarm_d

Zayn and Louis get stoned and switch bodies. In that order.

So Much Of The City Is Our Bodies by disarm_d

A place/ where everything too big to take apart/ had been left behind.

AU set in Toronto, Canada.

Method to the Madness by disarm_d

Louis doesn’t trust himself to know the right way to touch Zayn anymore.

your finest inspiration by carissima

His legs ache a little and he's shattered so he keeps the radio down low as he cruises through the streets until he hits the motorway. It's another two hours to London and he's got a lot of cursing at Zayn to do so he slouches down in his seat and thinks about how dumb Zayn's stupid face is.

like any real love it's ever-changing by annemari

"Do you think if I repeat 'this isn't happening' for long enough it'll make it true?" Louis asks.

The cat—Zayn—moves its tail. Louis doesn't know what that means.

"I have no idea what that means," Louis says.

Zayn turns into a cat. Louis figures some things out.

i count my steps by annemari

Zayn and Louis often play truth or dare to unwind.

Those Meddling Kids by Gorgeous Nerd (gorgeousnerd)

Zayn likes to watch the street from his own windows when he can. He likes it even better when the street watches back, and Louis's the only one to know it.

(Or: Zayn and Louis hook up in the Mystery Machine.)

only fools rush in by gravitycentered

The night feels like it moves quickly, melting away as they all get steadily drunker; Zayn watches the boys eat and laugh and shove each other around and feels suddenly very glad to be with them, incredibly lucky to have all of them to himself.

Especially you, Zayn thinks, looking over at Louis. The bar lights are dim, as usual, but there’s a dull little ceiling lamp above their table and it illuminates Louis just enough as he smiles back.

I'm the Scene, You're the Director by slashter

Zayn has yet to not get a stiffy when he sees Louis on set--just the idea of Louis being so in control of everything, shouting commands at him, walking up to him when he's in a pose and touching him everywhere, moving him around so he looks better--it's definitely somewhat of a fear boner, but in the best way possible. Honestly, he kind of wants Louis to destroy him, and that desire hasn't wavered a bit over the past two years.

[Or the one where Louis tells Zayn what to do, Zayn (usually) fights back, and neither of them can get enough of it]

You Ignite Me And I'll Ignite You by slashter

“Zayn,” Louis repeats, slightly out of breath, once he’s right in front of the boy. It’s only mildly embarrassing. “Louis,” Zayn answers, raising an eyebrow. “On your way to class?” “I--yes,” Louis stammers, then starts walking alongside Zayn. “Um, off to do more art? And stuff? That you do?” Smooth. Zayn laughs. His eyes crinkle up at the corners and Louis wants to drop-kick Harry, he’s so fucking sexually frustrated.

[Or the one where Zayn sells Louis weed and Louis definitely has much more than just a crush]

If Only You Saw What I Can See by slashter

It's almost impressive that Louis hasn't tried to see his own face in a hundred years, because Zayn doesn't know if he'd be able to go a day without looking at him.

downward facing dog by robpatFF

The yoga mat is heavier than he remembers, and dustier, and Zayn realizes it’s been a few good months since he’s been able to do this proper. Been able to stretch out his mat and stretch out his own body and feel the ache of release, the burn in his muscles as he pushes himself past the sting of it and just breathes. His fingers grip around the edge of the mat in anticipation, his shoulders already relaxing as he sets it down in the living room.

come sail away by robpatFF

The hotel faces the beach, and when Zayn looks out he can see the ocean lapping up against the shore, the distinct darkening of the sand where the tide washes in.

rise from your burning fiat by dangerbears

AU of the high school variety. louis and zayn have always been best friends and they always will be, no matter how much time they let pass.

if not the happiest, surely the luckiest by dangerbears

AU. reform boarding school for the obscenely wealthy, essentially. zayn is new and louis is hot shit.

Gravity Always Wins by writeivywrite

The truth is: if they weren’t in a band together, Zayn wouldn’t be friends with someone like Louis.

give this wandering soul a home by sunshineflying

Louis Tomlinson lives in a sleepy town in Essex, near a small uni where all his friends seem to be going – except for him. He thrives on having a social life – with his best friend Liam at his side and the cherubic new boy Harry across the street, life is good. But when autumn comes around and everyone goes off to uni, Louis starts to spiral out of control.

The feeling of being left behind never really goes away, so Louis doubles his efforts to forget, hardly sober for more than a day at a time, and yet life still goes on around him. Louis wants to grow up, he does, it’s just that it’s hard to do when the ones around him are far more successful than he is. It isn't until his mother's harsh ultimatum that Louis is brought back to a sobering reality.

Covering nearly five years, this fic follows all the characters, though Louis most of all, as they work their way through relationships, road blocks, and more coursework than they can sometimes handle to come through alright on the other side. Through a series of ups and downs, Louis and everyone else settle into lives they’re pleased with – a task that several of them didn’t think was possible to accomplish. Inspired by Skins UK.

(I love you) by softly (alexenglish)

There should be a word for a threat that is also a promise. Because that is what I want you to hold me down and do.

(buy your love by playing make believe.) by softly (alexenglish)

I would love you more if you were someone who could love me.

(quiet kisses are so hardcore) by softly (alexenglish)

I laugh along but inside I know that it’s true: Being in love is totally punk rock.

(you know that I’m no good) by softly (alexenglish)

I don’t know how to make things right. So I’ll just keep pretending that nothing’s wrong.

(You can’t start a fire without a spark.) by softly (alexenglish)

I hate trying to put my desire into words when my body knows exactly what to say. Come home.

known you in every life i've lived by leighbot

“I would guess that your magic is stronger here because your soulmate might be within the castle. Maybe your magic is trying to lead you to them.”

Zayn is a newly appointed crown prince and Louis is the first person with grey magic in the kingdom since the Founding Queen herself. Abelwick fic.

what happens in the bathroom by leighbot

Zayn just needs to relieve himself before his lecture starts, but there's someone crying in the stall and he can't just leave them upset.

the time you have wasted for your rose by leighbot

“I’m not a boy.”

“You’re a… girl?” he tries, feeling like he has the wrong answer to a test he didn’t know he was being given.

“No, I’m not a girl, either.”

“Is this a riddle, because I’m shit at riddles to be honest.”

Or, Louis and Zayn work together on a school play and learn that not everyone is as they seem.

your heaven and your oceans, too by leighbot

It usually starts the same for everyone: an uncertain glance, a hint of familiarity, a hesitant step forward and finally an overwhelming sensation of recognition as their souls connect. People have met their soulmates at both very young and very old ages, people have met their soulmates in their prime or when they’re married to someone else or even when they’re nearing their own death. The only rules of soulmates are that everyone has one and everyone meets theirs at some point in their lifetime.

Or, Louis is Emperor and Zayn is his soul mate. That simple, really.

Ice Skating by leighbot

Looking up at Louis now, his face soft and open, Zayn doesn't know how to admit that he doesn't want to feel like a fool. Instead he shakes his head ‘no’ and purses his lips, staring at the skates as if they had personally offended him.

or, the one where Zayn really doesn't want to ice skate but Louis is so pretty and smiles so wide for him and he'll try it, okay? He'll try.

its been a while by neonmoonlight

The only good thing about break is that he doesn't have to be on Twitter constantly and check what people are saying about him. He spends most of his time out on friend dates with Danielle and dodging calls from Simon. He also has more time to spend going to music festivals he's been wanting to go to for years and have a couple day holiday in Vegas.

Based off of Louis "Vegas has broken me ..." tweet.

#1 by dramaturgicallycorrect

“I know what you are,” Mueller growls.

Tommo lifts and slams him back against the bar. Zayn looks around, finds the bartender and the rest of the patrons casually minding their own. Must be business as usual in a place like this.

When Zayn looks back, there’s a knife in his hand, long and thin and shining even in the pub’s dim light. Only when Zayn looks hard enough, it’s not a knife at all but a thin blade, nor is it so much in his hand as it is protruding from it, resting dangerously at Mueller’s pulse point.

Zayn’s heart pounds. He’s a mutant.

[Or issue number one.]

all the stars were crashing by sarcangel

“We should practice,” Louis says. He’s got a faraway look in his eye that doesn’t bode well for anyone, based on Zayn’s newly-formed knowledge of Louis. “Find a place, set up a schedule, all that.”

“What?” Zayn says, not sure where the conversation is exactly headed anymore.

“You know, in a movie - like, this would be our montage sequence,” Louis says, hands everywhere, gesturing wildly. “There’d be some song playing in the background while we spar and gain strength and -”

(and lick sweat off of each other’s necks, Zayn thinks, and then you knock me to the floor and lay on me and)

“Yeah, that’d be sick,” Zayn says, instead, not knowing if he’s more surprised that anything coherent comes out of his mouth or that he’s actually agreed to Louis’ awful plan.

Blow by catholicschoolgirl

“I wonder how it feels sometimes / Must be good to you”

Alternatively: sex, drugs and feelings in the Mystery Machine.

Fangs by catholicschoolgirl

"The days that Louis had spent with Zayn were the best of his life. All 74,035 of them."

Louis loves Zayn, always has, but Zayn might want someone else. Louis does not react positively.

stumbling, looking in the dark by rilla

'Everyone always thinks Louis is just hilarious and cutting and sarcastic when he’s actually just deeply honest and doesn’t like very many things. The only person who ever believed him is Zayn, and Zayn’s long gone now.' University AU.

we've got each other and that's a lot by rilla

Louis is the first person Zayn meets at university. He's definitely trouble. Luckily, Zayn likes trouble.

Everyone Else Isn't You by rilla

'Everyone else isn't you. It turns out that's a huge problem for me.' A little bit of canon zouis, set in February 2016.

no one knows (if you don’t say the words) by words_unravel

Louis wants one last winter holiday with the boys and Zayn's never been one to tell him no.

Would you let me be your world? by geewhizmo

Louis moves to a new city to start college. Her roommate, Zayn, is attractive, intriguing, and totally out of her league.

This was going to be an interesting year.

Make Up Your Heart by FallingLikeThis

You know that saying? Something about not knowing what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone?

Yeah, well fucking fuck that shit, okay?

It’s hard enough losing something, someone, without having that piece of shit sentiment thrown at you from every angle as you grieve. Or punch things. Louis has a tendency to punch things. Or kick things. Like his football. Only he imagines it’s Zayn’s stupid, beautiful, disloyal face.

[pixiealtaira]

Hummel Clan Christmas Rendezvous

Hummel Holidays prompt seven: family

Pairing: Kadam

summery: If you are bring home  a new guy, you might as well go big.

“Dad! NO!” Kurt hissed into the phone in horror.  Adam looked up from where he was typing at his computer and faced Kurt, alarmed.

Kurt waved so he knew it wasn’t too awfully serious.

“But Dad, it’s the first time you are even meeting Adam.  It is inhumane to ask us to consort with the rest of the clan. Inhumane, Dad!”

Adam tried to hold in a chuckle.

“I don’t care if Aunt Mildred decided to panic after Great Uncle Gideon had a heart attack and decided we now need yearly Hummel Clan Christmas parties.  She can host it at her place and you and Carole can go! Great Uncle Gideon is 90 years old, anyway.  Where was she when you had your heart attack?  Where was her panic then?”

Adam tilted his head and looked at Kurt, whose face was quite furious.

“Oh, I am still a bit bitter. I have not got over that and I probably won’t until I’m your age.”

“I am sorry but that time is just one of those things I simply have shelved my fury about and not worked on lessening it in any form and you and Carole and everyone else will just have to deal with that.  My therapist says that is fine.”

“I know Carole regrets how she handled things while you were in the coma…or rather how she didn’t…but I was the one dealing with everything.  I get to decide when to let it go.  And Aunt Mildred never even called…and I called her four times and she never picked up!”

Kurt’s face was an interesting shade of red and his eyes were twitching.  He stared at the phone before speaking again.

“The boys were always in trouble.”

“So have Mildred rent her church building! And I am sorry but our house is NOT bigger than theirs…I know for a fact that Mildred’s boys each had their own room, she had a craft room, Uncle Wallace had a man cave before they were terribly popular and they have both a Den and Family room as well as a living room, a formal living room, and dining room!  I was banished there for three summers before you finally decided to end my torture.”

Adam went back to typing. The end of the semester was zooming closer than he was happy with and his graduate classes each had major papers this semester.

“Dad. It was torture. I came home the first summer with a broken wrist, the second with a broken arm and the third with a broken foot.  I can guarantee I did not get them terribly naturally.”

Adam swiveled his head towards Kurt again.

“Fine.  Thanks for the warning I guess.  How about Adam and I change our trip dates?”

“Fine.”

“I said Fine! I promise I will not change our trip dates and we will be there.”

“What?!” Kurt yelled.

“I love you, too, Dad.” Kurt sighed.

Kurt threw his phone onto the bed across the room.

“What is up, darling?” Adam asked, saving his document and turning to give Kurt his full attention.

“Dad is hosting the Hummel Merry Christmas Party.  It starts at noon and dad would like us there on time, so asked we not stop too often as we drive from Columbus to Lima.  You are going to be subject to all the insane beings belonging to my dad. I am so sorry.”

“It can’t be that bad.”

“My Aunt Mildred tried to get my dad to have me exorcised when I was 12.  You heard the list of injuries…and that was just from a week or so of the three summers I spent time up there.  The summer my mom died, dad sent me on vacation with them.  My cousins nearly drowned me more than once, they tied me to a tree and left me there for hours, I was so sunburned I blistered and had to go to the ER and they left me at the campsite when they packed up to leave.  I was left there for six hours…they were three hours away before the noticed I was not with them.  I also came home with so many scrapes and bruises that my dad’s coworker thought I’d been in a car wreck and dragged by the car for a while.”

“Oh heavens.” Adam said.

“They all like to drink. Most like to shoot things.  None of my three cousins graduated from school on time…I’m not sure Wayne even finished, although I think he got his GED. My cousin Willard got a girl pregnant when he was 14…she was 12.  There might even be more spawns of his out there, too, because no one did anything about it except say ‘boys will be boys’.  Rex is just mean. And it’s not just a gathering of Mildred and her crew. Oh No. It’s all dad’s aunts and uncles and their kids. Each cousin set is supposed to give gifts to those in their sets…so we are supposed to bring gifts for Aunt Mildred and crew…Dad said small things for 15…which means the boys have children and partners they have kept. I knew they were married but I was certain no one would be insane enough to stay for long. Oh, and we are having a white elephant exchange and an ornament exchange. Yay us!”

“Is there anyone who could be there that you like?” Adam asked.

“My Dad’s Aunt Mildred and most of her family and his cousin Lou and his family.  We used to shoot bows with Lou, he has a friend who makes them and when I was in my Robin Hood stage he got me a real bow for Christmas. I liked it so he got me new ones when I outgrew the one before…I use them for props mostly now. He probably will not be there though, they moved to California when I was 16…the summer before Dad met Carole. That is the grand total of people I like from my Dad’s side of the family.”

 The flight to Ohio was not delayed and they landed in plenty of time for them to make it to Lima in time for the Christmas party.  Adam ended up making Kurt pull over and let him drive halfway there as his nerves got worse.

“Darling, no matter what, I’m not letting you go.  They cannot scare me away.” Adam told Kurt for the umpteenth time. It didn’t seem to help.

“I don’t even know if anything we brought as gifts will be right or sufficient.” Kurt moaned from the passenger seat.

“Darling, we went with New York themed decks of cards and travel cups with hot chocolate.  And we bought four gifts that could be given to small children…just in case. And four for tiny tots.  We got your Aunt Mildred a nice scarf and gloves and a box of good chocolates, and your Uncle gloves and a nice cap.  We even bought each cousin a New York Ball Cap and three stocking caps for their other halves. It will be fine.”

“They hate me. I’m bringing home a boyfriend and they will be rude and horrid and offend you and you’ll want nothing to do with me ever again!”

“I doubt it.  However, if they do then we will make them sorry. I have no qualms whatsoever about making rude people uncomfortable.  I’ll just kiss and snuggle and cuddle and love on you all the more.” Adam said.

Kurt looked his way. “Really?”

“Really.”

 The good thing about walking straight into a huge family gathering like they were was that Adam had no chance of being nervous about meeting Kurt’s Dad and Step-Mom.  Kurt had painted such a dismal picture that Adam was nervous about just being at the party, even though he had been certain Kurt was exaggerating.

Kurt wasn’t.

The party was held at the Hummel house, or rather in detached garage that was the main reason the Kurt’s family bought the new house when they moved his junior year of high school. It was a four car garage and workshop, big enough for his dad to have had a lift installed so he could work on cars when he was home as well.  It was packed with people, tables and chairs, and smelled a bit like a brewery.

They had had to walk a full block to the house to start off with, and Adam was ever so glad Kurt convinced him to stay at a hotel that first night because their luggage was happily tucked away in their hotel room.  Kurt wouldn’t let them leave anything in the rental car.

(“You don’t understand, Adam.  The kids in this neighborhood are all thieves.  Seriously, the cops were down here about stuff stolen from houses and vehicles three times a week. I doubt anything has changed in two years.”

“But, it’s a well off neighborhood.” Adam had replied.

Kurt snorted. “None did it because they needed money.  They did it for ‘the thrill of the hunt’. Half the neighbors simply shrugged and  said ‘boys will be boys’.  Until we moved in and my dad pressed charges, no one had thought of it before even though the kids had stolen several thousands of dollars’ worth of stuff.”)

Adam carried the backpack Kurt had tucked all the gifts into and Kurt carried the bag with the food they’d picked up from the grocery store they’d stopped at on the way from the hotel to the house.  Apparently he had no faith in anything edible being offered for lunch.

Carole wouldn’t let them into the house after Kurt said he didn’t need to use the bathroom.  She directed them to the garage and that was that.

Kurt’s Dad’s cousin Roy met them at the door, with name tags and directions on how to fill them out. He didn’t recognize Kurt and didn’t believe Adam was Kurt’s boyfriend at all…none of their clan would dare be ‘that way’ didn’t they know?  Kurt rolled his eyes and just put his name on his name tag…and had Adam just write Adam.

“My dad’s dad was number four of 10 kids. His name was Al. I don’t know if it was short for anything, but it probably was.  He died when my dad was 20ish. My mom never met Dad’s dad. My dad’s mom told my dad she was never dealing with any of the Hummel clan again after she got remarried. She did show up for my dad and mom’s wedding, but that was it for a while. She sent a card when they had me. She always spelt my name with a C…she insisted it was spelled that way to keep up tradition. One of the things I do remember her telling me was that my first born son had to have a name that started with a D and then creating a list of names she found acceptable.  I actually think I still have it somewhere. I was like three and she called just to tell me that and then sent the list in the mail. She hadn’t even ever sent a card or anything for holidays or birthdays before that. Then she got a divorce from that guy and married another guy and was around for a while.  They died in a car wreck when I was eleven-ish. My dad and Aunt Mildred went to the funeral, but Aunt Mildred wouldn’t let me or my cousins go. I had to stay at Aunt Mildred’s with my cousins and her husband watching over us. I spent a week being maid and cook.  My Uncle tossed me a hundred dollar bill as a I left, though. I never told my dad.” Kurt explained as they walked towards a long table that seemed to be covered in photos.

Kurt pointed to a set of photos close together. “Dad’s Aunt Mildred had two sets of kids.  She was just older than my dad’s dad.  One set of kids with her first husband, Hank, and one with her second husband Barney.  The kids with Hank, of which there are three, are near my dad’s age…I think his cousin Marty is like within a few months.  Then Hank went and joined a very weird religious cult type thing and Mildred left him the second time he dragged her and the kids to the meetings. It was a very smart move on her part. They got divorced quickly and Hank married someone from the cult thingy. She married Barney like a year later and they were all worried but Barney is a good guy.  I like dad’s Aunt Mildred and Barney. Her kids with Barney are like 10 years younger…there are two of them.  Lou is Dad’s Uncle Wayland’s kid.  He is the oldest.  Lou is his fourth but he is only like a year older than my dad. I like Lou, too.  Roy belongs to Winifred, she was number two. She died when her kids young, before my Dad’s dad even. Roy has a twin named Guy and two sisters. They aren’t twins but were so close in age it is ridiculous…I think maybe just 10 months. One is Joy and I think the other is named Dolly, and that that is not a nickname. I think dad’s cousin Jill is his Aunt Jean’s girl, but I’m not sure. Jill has a sister named Billy, but I’ve never met her…she moved to Peru at some point.  Her husband runs some sort of Adventure Trip company. The last kid of the 10 is dad’s Uncle Warren, who is also just a few months older than dad…so his kids are around my age.  I’m not even sure who the others are…I think there is an Aunt Maribel and an Aunt Mona, but I don’t know if I have ever met them.”

“Did you dad have any other siblings?” Adam asked.

“Nope.  Just him and Mildred.  My mom had siblings, but they are even less close than Dad and Mildred. They only speak to each other if they can’t avoid it from what I can tell.”

Kurt and Adam wandered around the garage, trying to locate Kurt’s dad in all the people.  There were several little kids running around, none of whom Kurt knew and several teens and older kids.  Finally Kurt found his dad in the back by a long table…talking with both Mildreds.  While wandering they had heard several slurs and multiple sets of “Ewww”s.  Adam just held Kurt’s hand and if the slur was really nasty, kissed him soundly.

“Dad!” Kurt yelled.

Burt was up and over to his boy within a minute and it only took that long because he had to dodge a mass of running tots who seemed to be chasing a ball. Kurt pushed the bag of food into Adam’s hand and threw himself into the hug Burt was offering up.

“I’ve missed you!” Kurt exclaimed into his dad’s shoulder.

“I’ve missed you, too, Bud. I think you grew again!” Burt said as he patted Kurt’s back.  They separated and Kurt turned to Adam.

“Dad, this is Adam.”

Adam shifted the bag he was holding to one side and held out his hand to shake Burt’s offered hand.

“Nice to meet you, sir.” Adam said.

“None of that sir bit, apparently you’re supposed to be becoming one of the family.” Burt said.

Kurt groaned. “I told you, I’m not getting engaged or anything until I’ve graduated. I told you that back in spring and it hasn’t changed since then.”

Adam chuckled and Burt shrugged. Kurt rolled his eyes.  

“Come on Kiddo, I need grandbabies before I’m too old to enjoy them.  Mildred’s making me feel like I’m wasting away.” Burt said.

“Mildred shouldn’t count. Try Lou’s kids as your base.  I’ve a few years yet before I’m too old.” Kurt hissed.

“Now, Burt,” Aunt Mildred said from the other side of the table. “I done told you earlier, you should just get the nice little wife of yours pregnant again and have another kid or two.  You are well within childrearing ages still.  Then Kurt’s abnormalities wouldn’t be passed.”

“Millie,” Burt’s Aunt Mildred said. “Someone let your boys spawn, Kurt deserves to populate the earth with creatures that ought to be at least refined and cultured.  Didn’t you just tell me how one of your grandkids is always playing in mud and naked?”

And the Mildreds were off snapping at each other about kids.  Burt rolled his eyes and pulled Kurt and Adam towards a table filled with food.

“Put those groceries here and then garb yourself something to eat. There is ham sliced in the large crock pot on the end.”

Kurt recognized one of his dad’s aunts at the table directing people.

“Let’s see what you’ve got, boys.” She told them, making garbby hands at the bag.

Kurt handed it over. There were a few fruit bowls with berries and two with different melons, several small veggie strays with different vegetables mixed, and a small cheese tray.

“Where’s the meat, boys? How can you not bring meat?  What is it with all this rabbit food?  People can’t eat this!”

“Now, Aunt Mona, you know some people like lighter stuff.” Burt replied.

“Not real people…liberals, liberals like vegetables.  Good red blooded Americans like meat. My dear Andrew loved a good steak; he liked them properly cooked over a grill like a man.  Such a good boy.  A real man.”

“Well, we’ll just put these over here.” Burt said, moving the fruit, veggies and cheese to the end of the table right before the desserts. “The kids might like them; you know vegetables are good for kids.”

“Oh! This is true. And kids like fruit.  They should just stop eating that stuff once they’re too big for the parents to make them eat it.”

Adam was trying not to laugh.  He looked over the spread of food.  

“There are your pasta salads and your potato salads and your frogs eye salads and your whipped topping and jello salads in various colors and forms. I bet there is even a cookie salad; my Aunt Mildred’s boys favor it. There are pots of baked beans, it looks like three.  There are Roy’s hot wieners and some cousin of dad’s brats in sauce. Roy’s dish is essentially hot dogs in a spicy ketchup and the other dish’s sauce varies but is generally alcohol based. Lots of deli meats and rolls and mayo and mustard for them. Lots of chips. Loads of potato casseroles. Bean dips and seven layer dips and hot dips like the artichoke one…that other with green might be a spinach dip.  There are the cheese balls with crackers.  Oh, someone went fancy a brought cocktail shrimp. Then you hit desserts and well…if it is full of sugar and fattening it is probably an option. At the end are drinks…soda is your only option here.  The alcohol will be served wherever we find dad’s Uncle Wayland. Notice the lack of fruits or veggies.  However, we’d better grab some now because people do actually like them and they will go fast.”

Adam and Kurt put together a small plate of veggies, fruit, deli meat and cheese that they could carry with them and promised to be back for ‘real’ plates later.  Kurt waved to the lady manning the table as they left.

“It is nice to know I did remember Mona’s name.” Kurt said.

“What happened to Andrew?” Adam asked.

“Oh,” Burt said. “He got out of the military while stationed in Alaska and took off to live in a small subsistence village that is very much…hippie-ish.  It is very much run like a free love commune, just in Alaska so they also have guns and hunt and such.”

“She made it sound like he died.” Adam said.

“He has voted liberal since his first year in the military,” Kurt said. “He is worse than dead.”

Adam just looked at Burt, who nodded.

“Ok..” Adam said.

They paused at the craft table but didn’t stay as two of Burt’s cousins were sitting there having a very lively and heated ‘discussion’ on religion during which they could only agree that Mormons were demons and Catholics probably practiced Satanic rituals because of ‘saints’ and that those homosexuals should be burned.  They were starting on Jewish people when Burt dragged them away, while telling each other they were going to hell because they weren’t the right kind of Christian.

“I’ll go back and swipe you the baggies filled with the stuff to make the ornaments and cards and gifts.” Burt said.  “I forgot that Marvel’s Jack and Mona’s Jack were manning the crafts.”

“Marvel? I thought there was a Maribel.” Kurt said.

“Maribel?  No, there is a Clarabelle.” Burt said.

“Like the cow from Disney?” Adam asked.

Burt broke into laughter.

“Just like the cow from Disney.” Burt said.

Kurt sighed.  “I’m still missing someone.”

“You got Jean?” Burt said.

“Yes.”

“Scott?”

“Scott?  There is a Scott?”

“Yeah, he’s just older than Warren.”

“That’s just…such a normal and modernish name.” Kurt said.

“The Doctor was Scottish and my grandmother liked the accent.” Burt said.

Adam started cracking up.

Burt stopped them at the farthest table in the back.  There were big boxes with smaller boxes inside.

“Mildred’s family’s boxes are in the big purple box. Wayne’s box is blue and has his kids listed on it and their ages, Willard’s box is green and has ages listed and Rex’s box is red with ages listed. Wayne and Rex have wives, Willard has a girlfriend…who is pregnant. Pete is here, too, technically. He actually took off as soon as Mildred was not looking. If you need something tell Uncle Wayland.  Wayland send my boy and his beau back towards the games when they are done.”  Burt waved the older man sitting by the table, with a glass of amber liquid in his hands and lots of clear plastic cups sitting by him.

“Would you boys like some hooch?” Uncle Wayland asked.

“Umm, I think we’re good for now,” Kurt said. “We need to get gifts sorted and labeled and such before we try anything out.”

“Good point.  Had my Ronnie get ours all sorted out.  Louie wanted me to ask you about hunting out in New York.  You are Kurtie aren’t ya?”

“Yes, Uncle Wayland. I’m Kurt. I don’t know.  I didn’t even think to ask about it, I was so busy trying to get settled during hunting season my first year there…find a job and a place to live…and it didn’t occur to me to check this past fall since I couldn’t use the meat very well.  I’ll find out though and have Dad give me Lou’s number.  If I went hunting with him and Dad, they could take home most the meat if we got anything.”

“You’re a good boy. No waste.  We taught YOU right.  You still mostly a bow man?”

“Yes, that is what I like best.”

“Does your friend hunt?” Wayland asked.

“I have not done so in the manner Kurt and you seem to be speaking of, no.” Adam said. “I’ve gone on a few fox hunts though, on horse back.”

“Like in movies?” Wayland asked.

“Yes.”

“Ehh…we could probably train ya then.”

One of the people Kurt’s dad’s age came up for some drink and Kurt and Adam turned their attention to the boxes.

Mildred and Pete’s were easily dropped in the right spot and Kurt located his cousin’s gifts and then gifts in paper that matched each cousin that was for the significant other.

Adam chuckled while Kurt fished the marker out of the backpack. “Your cousin Rex is married to Roxanne.  They have kids named Royal, Regan, and Regina. Regina will need one of the gifts for tiny tots. I would suggest giving Regan one of the gifts for small children…thank goodness we got those as gender neutral, I’m not sure what Ragan is. Royal is a boy.”

Kurt facepalmed.

“Wayne’s box says he is married to Jonny.” Adam said.

Kurt laughed. “Jonny is Jonda.  She hates it. Her middle name is Olga and her maiden name was North.  Jonny was just what ended up her option really.”

“They are going backwards up the alphabet.  Zach is seven and Yule is almost six.” Adam said.

“Cups and cards it is.” Kurt said.  “I remember hearing about Yule’s birth. I was not aware they named the baby Yule.”

Adam sighed. “It’s a good thing we packed extra.  Willard has more than 4 kids here.  How can he have a 13 year old?  Is he much older than you?”

“Hmm, Willard is 7 years older than me…they kept that baby he had at 14.  The girl had it and they passed it back and forth between grandparents until she got married at 20 and no longer wanted to be tied to him.  The Willard kept him.”

“How old is Wayne?”

“9 years older than me. Rex is four years older.”

“So, not every on in the family was quick to reproduce really.”

Kurt laughed. “My dad forgets that he and mom didn’t get married until they were 22  almost 23, and then didn’t have me for another two years or so.  Mildred married a month out of high school and had Wayne right off the bat…like by the end of summer off the bat.”

“Anyway, Willard has six kids here.  He has three three year olds, but it notes they are not triplets. Does that mean all three are from different mothers?” Adam asked.

Kurt turned his head to Adam. “Really? I told you, all that ever happen was ‘boys will be boys’,so it wouldn’t surprise me. Hmm…I wonder if that was part of ‘Aunt Mildred’s boys were in trouble’ therefore she couldn’t even bother returning my calls telling her Dad was in a coma.”

“Someday, love, you will have to explain this bit of bitterness to me.” Adam said. “If we give the three that were slated for small kids to these, and one for the babies to the one year old, the nine year old and 13 yr old will be fine with cards and cups.”

Kurt nodded. “We’ll have two tiny tot gifts left over and two card and cup sets left over…we can work with that.”

“We can give the cards and cups to your dad and step-mom as extra gifts.” Adam said.

Kurt beamed. “They would enjoy them, I think.  Dad and his buddies play card games all the time.”

“Ya boys finished over there? I’m sure your Daddy wouldn’t mind you having a nip or two nowadays Kurtie.”

“We are finished Uncle Wayland and sure, we’ll try something I guess.  I’m not quiet legal but Adam can legally drink.” Kurt replied.

Wayland laughed. “Ain’t never worried about that legal shit.  Just drunk tots ain’t pretty so we keep it away from the young’uns.  Want a Hot Toddy?”

“Sure.” Kurt said.

Uncle Wayland scooped something out of a crockpot hidden under the table and handed it to the Adam and Kurt.  Adam took a sip first.

“Oh, Nice. I like the flavors.” Adam told Wayland.

“Now you’re a good boy. I think we might just need to keep you around.  Potential for hunting and you appreciate good  booze,. If little Kurtie’s gonna live fruity, then at least we’d better keep good men for him around.”

Adam nearly choked on his drink and Kurt blushed bright red.

“Thank You, Uncle Wayland. We’d better go see where Dad is.” Kurt finally sputtered out.

Adam waved as he left.

“He doesn’t seem too bad.” Adam said.

Kurt chuckled. “He is…easier…to take now that I’m older. He has a raunchy sense of humor and no filter at the best of times, and is 500 times worse when drunk.  It was hard when I was younger and not…confident…in my sexuality.  On the good note…he doesn’t mind that I’m gay, but he will always use the most offensive terms for it. He called me elf boy for ages. Of course he called me fairy boy from age three as well.  The more drunk Uncle Wayland gets, the more you’ll find out intimate details about women he’s been with, or even seen.  I always thought it hilarious that I knew more about the nether regions of a woman than all the other guys my age and I wasn’t into women at all and so had no use for the information.”

Kurt and Adam headed back to where Kurt’s dad was standing by a man sitting by a radio and looking through CDs.

“The good thing about this is it is a Christmas Party and so we will JUST be subject to Christmas Music and long ago they made a pact that ALL Christmas Music was acceptable as long as it didn’t have very bad words in it.  Not just religious and not just secular.  Apparently the fight over that nearly led to three divorces and did lead to black eyes and a broken nose.  It happened before I was born.” Kurt said.

They were passing by some round tables surrounded by people their ages who were all playing cards of some sort.  They were nearly past it when Kurt’s name was shouted.

“Kurt.  Hey, flaming fairy! I heard you’ve got yourself a boyfriend. Does his cock taste good?” a dark hair man older than Adam and Kurt yelled.

Kurt tensed and then sighed.

“Wayne. It is oh so lovely to see you again.  Have you found a steady job yet?  Or are you still shoveling dog crap from people’s yards for change?’ Kurt said with a smile. “By the way, I’m telling your mother what words you used in the vicinity of children.”

“She won’t believe you!” Wayne yelled again.

“Sure she will, because you forget that half those surrounding you don’t like that type of language and especially not around their small children and will back me up.”

“Why you little…” Wayne growled, attempting to stand without pushing his chair back and shaking the table which made everyone else around it yell.

The women sitting next to him grabbed his arm and pulled him back, before whispering in his ear. She then waved at Kurt, who waved back.

Kurt looked at Adam and sighed. “Adam, these are the cousins. You’ve heard from Wayne. Jonny is the one who made him sit.  Willard is the one is the black flannel, and Rex, is that you with the beard?” Kurt asked.

“Yeah. Hey, you like it? I think it makes me look tough.” Rex said, stroking his bushy brown beard.

“I think it makes you look homeless.” The women sitting next to him said. “Hi, I’m Roxanne.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Kurt said. “You were not home the last I saw of these guys.  I think Mildred said you were at your folks?”

“Yeah, my sister got married the same weekend your dad did. Rex went to your dad’s. He hates my sister.” Roxanne said.

“Your sister is a snob and rude.”

“My sister is smart and not willing to play stupid to make a man feel good about himself.”

“See, a snob.  Kurt would love her.”

Roxanne and Rex started fussing at each other and Kurt turned to Adam. “And various other cousins of the second or so variety.  I think the red haired girls might belong to Uncle Warren or Aunt Winifred’s kids…the girls had lovey red hair. I always wanted hair the color of Joy’s or even Dolly’s.”

One of the girls beamed at Kurt while the other glared.  Wayne started to get ready to speak and so Kurt quickly moved them away with an excuse that they needed to find Kurt’s dad.

“And that could have been so much worse.” Kurt said.  “Most of the girls are OK.  They ignore me or lecture me on going to hell.  And a few of the guys are fine…if Mildred’s boys are not there.  Like…I can go hunting with the two blonds in the matching flannels.  They are Wayland’s grandsons; not Lou’s kids but Millie’s…Wayland had an Amelia who is called Millie. As long as we keep to hunting and bows as a topic, we were pretty good.  We could also talk TV shows like Hercules.  But when Mildred’s boys are in the group, the guys get nasty mean.  You heard.  It’s like that for hours and then it gets physical.”

Adam grabbed Kurt’s hand and held it as they walked away from the others. “Take some sips of your Hot Toddy, love and let it all go.  Just make sure to sip.  Your Uncle Wayland likes it a bit strong.”

Kurt giggled and took a sip of his drink. “I should have tossed it in Wayne’s face, but that would have ruined the cards.”

Burt was over by the darts. He was in the middle of a game when Kurt and Adam got over to him.  Adam pulled Kurt so he was standing in front of him and then wrapped his arms around Kurt so Kurt could lean back into his embrace while they watched.

“Hey Burt, your fairy boy still have to stand up close to play darts?” one of the men playing with his dad asked as he noticed Kurt standing there.

“Hey, Mickey, he was 11 the last time you played against him.” Burt said.  “Kurt, would you like to play against Mickey when we are done?”

Kurt sighed. “Sure, Dad.”

“I bet a ten he can’t even hit the target.”  One of the other guys called out.

“Don’t be silly Mort,” a lady with dark red hair called back. “Burt’s little Kurt always had good aim. He just was too small to put power behind way back when.  I’ll put a twenty on him winning the game.”

“No way, Dolly.”

And the betting was on. Adam watched with stunned befuddlement. Here were a bunch of adults betting on the skills of a young adult who they didn’t seem to see as one while most, even those betting in a positive manner on him, called him names and disparaged his educational choices, job choices, and entire being.

Burt won his game and then handed the darts to Kurt. Mickey tossed a fit and so Kurt traded dart sets with Mickey.  

“Adam, could you hold my sweater?” Kurt asked as he pulled the sweater over his head and then quickly made sure his hair wasn’t too messed up.

“Burt, your boy has arm muscles! He must have finally taken up a real sport while he’s been away.” Mort called out.

“I have dance five days a week for an hour and half.” Kurt said. “And I do Yoga three times a week when I can fit it in.  Oh, and I am a waiter.  A singing waiter, but a waiter all the same.”

“Dance?  A sissy thing like dance won’t give you muscles. Football…now that gives you muscles.” Someone shouted.  Adam didn’t catch who.

Kurt snorted. “I guarantee that a woman weighs more than a football. I lift and carry people. That will always take more strength than lifting a football.”

“Kurt, focus on the game.” Burt said, smiling an odd little half smile to himself.

Kurt winked at his dad and then at Adam.

Adam had never played darts against Kurt. The one time they’d been out to a bar that had darts, they’d played pool instead.  Mostly they went dancing or to eat or karaoke or open stage places. But Adam had lost pool to Kurt, and more than once lost at poker to Kurt.  He knew Kurt’s game face.

Kurt wiped the floor with Mickey.  Then he went on to wipe the floor with Mort and a man named Harvey. Dolly just laughed.

Money was traded around the group, with Burt pocketing a bit of a bundle.  

Burt handed Kurt a bag as the others started chattering about who was going to play next.

“That has all the crafts and instructions for them in it.  I think we are aiming for the white elephant exchange soon and then the ornament exchange.  Did you bring things for both you and Adam to play?”

“Yes, Dad.” Kurt said.

“I’m going to go make Carole come out and fetch anyone from the house.  Don’t go anywhere.” Burt said.

Kurt sighed and tried to find the best place to go sit.

Adam found a spot that didn’t seem to be too crowded and led Kurt towards it.  Kurt sighed and followed.  It was probably the best option.

Kurt settled into a chair. There were chairs open on either side of him and Adam was trying to decide which side to sit on when the lady to left side of Kurt turned and looked his way.

“Hell Spawn.” The lady said.

“Aunt Lettie.” Kurt said. “Adam, meet Roy’s wife.”

“Uncle Roy.” She corrected. Kurt sighed.

“Meet dad’s cousin Roy’s wife, who insists I call them Aunt and Uncle.”

Adam sat between the lady and Kurt.

“I heard you have moved to a Sin City and are studying the wicked practice of acting.”

“I have and I am.  I am enjoying my classes greatly. I love reading great works both old and new and bringing them to life.  I love using my imagination to write works of my own and scenes of my own.  I love dressing up as someone else.”

Adam looked at the lady beside him as she hissed at Kurt…literally hissed.

Kurt smiled at Adam.

“We love being on stage and having people watch us perform.  Adam and I love singing and dancing, too. We take all opportunities we can to do so.” Kurt added.

“The lord will correct your sinful ways, mark my words!”

Adam looked at the women turned herself in her chair till her back was to them.

“Lettie and Roy’s church do not believe in song or dance or acting of any sort.  They don’t even like parties like this.  I don’t think they believe in enjoyment at all.” Kurt said.

“So the Hell Spawn comment was because of your choice of career and not because of your sexual orientation?” Adam asked.

Lettie sucked in her breath and squeaked.  She stood up really quickly and moved to the entire opposite side of the garage from them.

Kurt laughed and Adam smiled.

“Dad is going to be so mad. I’ve been told not to bait them since I was five.”

“Kisses?” Adam asked.

Kurt looked around and saw Lettie and several others looking their way. “Kisses.”

The kiss was light and just barely there, but it was enough to have Lettie fall off her chair.

Kurt looked pleased with himself and that made Adam smile brightly.

Adam tucked the bag of crafts into the backpack.  Kurt and he turned to each other and started talking about Apple ideas and work plans and just everything they general talked about.  Adam was telling Kurt about his adventure in stage combat, which Kurt was taking the next semester when they realized they had a small audience.

The red haired girl from earlier was there with several other younger people, ranging from probably just younger than Kurt to pre-teens.

“I’m Dolly’s youngest, Jane. Anyway…Rex said you live in New York and go to a Theater school.  Is that true?”

Kurt nodded. “Yeah, I attend NYADA.”

One of the younger teens spoke next. “Have you been to any Broadway Shows?”

Kurt beamed. “I have. It was the first thing I did when I got to New York.”

Kurt and Adam answered questions about theater schools and classes and choirs and places to visit in New York for about a half hour.

“You are so lucky.” One of the younger girls said. “It is all there for you to see and be part of. I would love to be able to just stand in one of the theaters.”

“Do you like the theater?” Kurt asked.

“Oh Yes. I love musicals.” She whispered. “I’m Macy. I want to be an actress on stage when I grow up. I’ve been in my school’s play every year and we even do summer musical theater. Dad fussed once, but mom pointed out that it was a full week we were busy and not at home causing problems.”

Kurt laughed.  “I think that was why my mom sent me to theater camp as well.”

“No, that is why I sent you to theater camp.  Your mom volunteered at camp and just dragged you along.” Burt said.

Kurt smiled. “I didn’t know that.”

Burt ruffled Kurt’s hair. “She played the piano for them and then helped with costumes.  Your first time on stage was as a little rabbit being chased by a dog.  You were two. We are getting ready to do the white elephant gift, so go get your gifts.  You can probably come back here, though.  I’m sure neither the boys would mind.  Kurt, Carole and I are going to go over and sit my Aunt Mildred and Uncle Barney. Be good.  I got told all about that little display earlier.  Don’t bait the nuts.”

Kurt rolled his eyes.

“Your Dad just called his cousin’s wife a nut.” Adam said.

Kurt nodded.

“Awesome.  Which ones are the white elephant gifts?”

“The white elephant gifts are the ones in white paper.  The ornaments are in red and green.” Kurt said.

Adam fished out the two gifts in white. “There are four in here in white.”

“I brought extras in case someone didn’t have one.” Kurt said. “Let me go tell my dad I have them.”

Kurt stood and ran over to Burt, who was making everyone sit in chairs. “I’ve two extras.” Kurt said. “And two extra ornaments.”

“Great…Aunt Mildred said one of Dolly’s girls brought a friend and they didn’t think about it…so you ask that little pack sitting next to you and come get others if needed…we put together a good dozen extras.”

Kurt and Adam managed to cover the little pack of people that had come back over with Jane and the ones originally talking to them.  When Burt signaled everyone was gifted up, music played and Burt rolled dice to see which way things passed. Kurt ended up with Wee Sing Silly Songs and Adam ended up with earmuffs shaped like snowmen.  Then Barney led them in a bizarre form of never have I ever and upset the fruit basket so that people were mixed up for the ornament exchange.

Adam waved to Kurt who was seated next to Carole, who seemed to be chewing him out about something. Adam was sitting in between a bunch of small children, of who at least one was one of Rex’s and Jonny.

“I’d like to apologize for Wayne.” She told him. “Mildred encourages their bad behavior especially towards Kurt, but it is uncalled for.”

Adam shrugged. “No one got hurt this time, so it is what it is.”

Jonny looked at Adam and nodded.

“Did Kurt really tell those over by the darts that he lifts women and women are heavier than footballs and that is why he is more muscular than them?”

“Well, he didn’t quite put it that way, but he certainly implied it.”

Jonny laughed. “Does he really?”

“Oh, yes. There is no passing Dance without being able to lift.  And leap and twirl and what not.” Adam said.  “Kurt just had less work to put into it, really, than some others. He learned how to properly lift in High School.”

Kurt came marching over and pulled out the ornaments. He was scowling and stomping and Adam took one look over to where he’d been sitting to see why.  Carole was leaning back with Lettie whispering into her ear, nodding along with whatever she was saying.  Kurt passed the extra ornaments to the two kids he’d given the extra white elephant gifts to and then marched over to his dad…who hightailed it to Carole and Lettie. Kurt glared towards Carole and came and sat on Adam’s lap. Adam smiled at him and kissed his cheek, pulling him closer.  Kurt snuggled in and relaxed when he realize Adam wasn’t going to try to make him move even though he was making a scene.

“Hey Kurt.” Jonny said, smiling at how Kurt had relaxed in Adam’s lap.

“Hey Jonny, How is the craft store business?” Kurt asked.

“We are holding our own. We were worried when that new mega graft store came in, but they don’t do custom framing or anything like that, or make custom canvases and we offer better craft nights and classes. We also got the endorsement from the local schools and community college because we offer student packages specialized to each course.”

“I’m so glad. I was worried when Dad said that store was building close to you all.” Kurt said. “Do you still sell local patterns and fabrics?”

“Yes.  We’ve even started stocking some locally spun yarns.”

“Cool.”

“Your dad said you have several jobs in New York?” Jonny asked.

“I work at Vogue.com for credits right now, and I work as a singing waiter and then I pick up odd jobs here and there, mostly when I need something not budgeted in.  I usually pick up tailoring or seamstress type jobs, but I’ve done a bit of mechanic work.”

“And you go to school?” Jonny asked.

“Yeah, it’s not nearly as bad as it seems.  I don’t have a family who needs me and Adam works just as nutty of an amount as I. We carve out time together, though, and make sure much of our fun activities mesh together.”

Burt announced that everyone needed to be ready to start passing ornaments at his shout…passing left when he said left and right when he said right and following some sort of odd dice shaking game. Kurt moved from Adam’s lap for it, but he did not go back to where he had been.

Finally Burt deemed the ornaments passed enough and Adam opened his. It was actually a set of crocheted stars that had been stiffened somehow and Adam was quite pleased. Kurt was smiling as well, although Adam thought it seemed a bit off. Kurt handed him the bag his ornament had come in and stalked off.  He watched as Kurt marched over to his dad and said something and then his dad nodded and Kurt came Adam’s way. Adam peeked in the bag.  The ornaments were stars with the names of Jesus on them,but Adam suspected that Kurt’s ire had been because he ought not have ended up with this particular bag, except one of the small children had taken it from who had it and given it to Kurt.

“They are starting the prize games now.  We could play bingo or poker.  We have been banned from ‘Name That Tune’ by Carole…at the demand of Lettie.  I always won when I was 5 and 6 and so I do suppose all the extra years probably would give me an unfair advantage.  However the DJ wants to do a who can name it fastest one note at a time and Dad said we can play that if we play against each other. He wanted us to go first to show how the game was done…and he is running it different than Lettie’s name that tune.”

Adam and Kurt played the DJs game and ended up tied 3 to 3.  The DJs gifts were King Sized candy bars, which they split.  Then Kurt and Adam played bingo for a while.  Kurt managed to win a card game that was new to them and a candle and Adam won some Christmas ornaments, a nativity, oven mitts and a board game that involved trains.  Kurt laughed and told Adam they were going to find someplace to play bingo near home because Adam had good bingo luck.

Carole came over and snapped at Kurt for winning too much, but left as soon as Burt started over their way.

“What the hell is Carole’s problem, Dad?” Kurt said as soon as Burt was near enough for him to ask without having to speak too loudly.

“Lettie and Roy have been here for three days and have been staying at the house.  Lettie has managed to ask daily what sort of evilness you got Finn involved in that led to Finn’s death.  Insisting you much have introduced him to drink or drugs or whatever that led him die. We were managing until I went to work yesterday and Carole decided to stay home and entertain Lettie and Roy.” Burt explained.  “I’ve made an appointment for Carole with her therapist for Monday. I’ll pay to keep your hotel room for the extra night.”

Kurt growled.

“Kiddo, this just means that you can leave and head off to the hotel and not have to clean up, while Mildred’s whole family  and Lettie and Roy will have to stay and help here…since they are all staying at the house.”

“Can we leave soon?” Kurt said.

“Let me check and see if everyone put their gifts in the boxes they go in and then we’ll figure out how we are doing that and I’ll tell you then.  Meanwhile, go play rummy.”

“Dad, that will take forever.”

“Well, you wouldn’t be bored and Carole or Lettie are unlikely to bother you there, no prizes.”

Kurt and Adam joined the rummy game just starting up, which luckily had none of the people teasing Kurt earlier in the day present. It wasn’t a bad game, but Adam could tell Kurt was starting to droop.  Adam realized they hadn’t gone back for more food and were working on only what they had eaten and the drink they got from Uncle Wayland.  Adam also knew Kurt wouldn’t eat much of what was out and had been sitting there for hours.

Adam looked around for Burt and watched as people went in and out of the garage and back and forth from the table with the gift boxes on it. Burt was monitoring the boxes, and looked to be helping fill them if need be.

Meanwhile Kurt was looking more and more done and more and more tired.

When Burt got a break, Adam excused himself from the round and went over to talk to him.

“Is there anything at the house I could get for us to eat?” Adam said. “Kurt hasn’t eaten anything other than the little plate we made when we got here.”

Burt sighed. “Things are closing down here, why don’t you and Kurt head out and off to find someplace to eat.  Take him over to say goodbye to My Aunt Mildred would you?”

Adam fetched Kurt from the game and they went around saying goodbye to the few people Kurt wanted to. Burt brought them over their boxes and made sure all their gifts and prizes were tucked into the backpack that they’d been carrying about. He brought over a few extra things as well, since Kurt had used extra’s they had brought for the white elephant and ornament exchanges. Adam suspected that the several extra ornaments they were given were to make up for Lettie and Carol’s interference in the exchange.

“You’re a good man, Adam.” Burt said as he watched Kurt let his Aunt Mona pinch his cheeks.  “Make sure he eats and sleeps tonight.”

Adam smiled. “Of course.”

Kurt hugged his dad and kissed his cheeks and grabbed Adams hand as they headed out the garage, boxes in Adam’s arms and backpack on Kurt’s back.

They trudged through snow and managed to get to the rental car without too much an issue.  Adam could see that others had left as well, already and made sure to take note of that in case Kurt got to feeling guilty for leaving early.

Kurt made grabby hands for the keys and Adam let him be the driver.  They tucked everything they were carrying into the back seat and headed off.

Kurt drove them to Pizza Hut.

“And that was a Hummel Clan gathering.” Kurt said as he devoured a salad. “It could have been much worse.”

“It could have been better.” Adam said.

Kurt laughed. “Maybe, but they never ever have been.  We were spared the epic fights between couples having problems today…although I guess Willard’s girlfriend and he got into a shouting match outside right before the white elephant exchange.  No one came to blows and no cops or ambulances were called.   No children were reduced to tears over something one of the adults said to them. And someone was managing Uncle Wayland because no one ended up so drunk they passed out.”

“I had thought you were exaggerating when you were talking before we arrived.” Adam said. “I am sorry, love.”

Kurt leaned back. “It wasn’t all bad.  I talked to more people than I have before, and most of it wasn’t bad.  I could do it again if my dad wanted me to. You made it immensely better,”

Adam chuckled. “Is that likely?”

“I guess that will all depend on Aunt Mildred and her dedication to the new found desire to have large family gathering yearly. I hope the next one is a summer one though.  We have those outside and often at a lake. It is easier to avoid people at those.  I am sorry about Carole.”

“I am sorry about Carole.” Adam said. “I know her behavior towards you had to have hurt.”

Kurt shrugged. “She’s been running hot and cold since my dad started dating her.  Finn’s death just made it worse.”

“I suppose as getting a family introduction, it could have been worse.” Adam said.

Kurt laughed. “We tossed you right into the fire and you came out a hero. Thank you for coming with me.”

“There will never be any place I’d rather be than with you, right by your side.” Adam said.

Kurt blushed and is face was still rosy when the pizza came five minutes later.

[the-blackest-spider]

Steve and Nat and WELL. TWO CAN PLAY AT THIS GAME. EVERY. DAMN. NUMBER. ❤︎

1.       - How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals?They fall asleep while talking or after some sex (SINCE THATSEEMS TO BE A NIGHTLY THING FOR THEM), Steve usually wakes up before Nat doesand they’re not really the type to be ritualistic.

2.       - How’s their team work? Do they share well? Their team workis pretty good depending and sharing varies, it depends on what is beingshared, but Steve isn’t so good at sharing.

3.       - Are they open about their relationship? How do theyfeel about public displays of affection? Not really, they keep it on thedown low so no displays of affection unless they’re around strangers, peoplewho don’t recognize them.

4.       - First impression of each other? Was it love at firstsight? Natasha thought he was, well going to live up to the good boystereo type. Steve was glad she just treated him like a regular person and no,it grew over time.

5.       - Nicknames? Pet names? Any in-jokes? Not really anda few little things at times.

6.       - Any tasks that are always left to one person? Cooking, it’sall Steve.

7.       - What annoys them the most about their partner? Wouldthey change it if they could? They both wish the other would bemore open and honest.

8.       - What do the like best about their partner? Natasha likesthat Steve makes her feel safe, Steve likes Natasha’s strength.

9.       - Do they discuss big issues? Religion? Marriage?Children? Death? Sometimes, but not always as some of those subjects neither arecomfortable with.

10.   - Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Paysthe bills? Handles the public? Steve drives since in his opinionshe drives like a maniac. He also cooks and tries to do most of the handiworkbecause he sees it as his job, Natasha handles bills and both handle thepublic.

11.   - Do they celebrate holidays? Anniversaries? Yes and Stevetries to do anniversaries.

12.   - Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Anykind of honeymoon? If they ever think about it, sure. Steve would propose toNatasha and it would be sudden and random, even surprising to himself. Thehoneymoon would be quiet and they’d probably spend most of it in bed.

13.   - What do they do for fun? Do they have a favoriteactivity or do they like to switch things up? Just relaxinghonestly and enjoying each other’s company in various ways.

14.   - Anything they both dread? Losing eachother because of doing something stupid.

15.   - How adventurous are they? Sometimes themood strikes them, usually Steve more than Nat.

16.   - Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat? Natasha doesn’tmean to, but she keeps secrets and lies, but she would never cheat. Steve isalways upfront and honest for the most part.

17.   - What would make them break up? Would it bepermanent? Absolute and utter betrayal, though it probably wouldn’t bepermanent, but it would take time for things to heal.

18.   - What are their dates like? How long do/did theydate? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other? Very low keyand random, very simple. Neither of them like flashy outings and sometimes theyneed breaks, but they’re rare and short.

19.   - What do they fight about? What are their argumentslike? How do they make up? Anything, random little stupid shit usually, or Natashabeing… Natasha. Their arguments can get pretty nasty actually and usually theymake up with some pretty down and dirty sex.

20.   - What does their home look like? Their room? Neat and tidyper Natasha, the bedroom varies.

21.   - Do they share any interests or hobbies? A few things,but not a lot.

22.   - Does their work ever interfere with therelationship? Sometimes

23.   - How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort? They’re notreally big on hugging, kissing is dependent on the reason behind it, sometimesit’s tender and loving and other times it goes to the opposite extreme andeverything in between. Teasing is mostly one sided as is flirting, butsometimes Steve has his moments. They find comfort in just being close.

24.   - Any doubts about the relationship? Yes, constantlyand for various reasons.

25.   - How much time do they spend together? Do they sharetheir feelings, or hold things in? As much time as they’recomfortable with and they could do better at sharing their feelings, Natasha isa little worse than Steve with holding things in, but not by much.

26.   - How do their friends feel about their relationship?Their families? No one really knows at first, but everyone is alright with themwhen they do find out.

27.   - Do they have kids? Grow old together? Split up? They do, adaughter (in our canon lol) and they end up being together forever withoccasional moments of time apart in their history just because they’re bothridiculous at times.

28.   - What are their vacations like? Quiet and rare.

29.   - How do the handle disasters or emergencies? Minorinjuries? Sickness? Pretty well, it depends on what the situation is and why it’soccurring.

30.   - Could they manage a long distance relationship? Yes, but itwould be difficult.

31.   - Do they finish each other’s sentences? Pick up anyphrases or habits from each other? Know when the other is hiding something? Not reallytheir thing on the first two and Steve is always suspicious Natasha is hidingthings.

32.   - Do they ever get into trouble? Is it serious, or arethey just mischievous? Once in a blue moon, but not often and usually it’sharmless.

33.   - What kind of presents do they get each other? Dothey only do it on special occasions? They really don’t get beingmaterialistic.

34.   - Do they have any pets? Liho (Nat’scat) and Murder (Steve’s dog)

35.   - Do they bring out the best in each other, or theworst? Do they have a fatal flaw? They bring it all out in eachother and their flaw would be their insecurities and Steve’s trust issues.

36.   - What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Theirweakness? That they endure things and keep trying, their weakness would beNatasha having a hard time opening up and Steve’s suspicion.

37.   - How much would they be willing to sacrifice for theother? Any lines they refuse to cross? Probably everything if it camedown to it and there’s probably no lines they wouldn’t cross for the most part.

38.   - What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons?Anything they won’t do? It varies and depends on what’s lead them to that inthe first place. Their kinks are pretty much the same and Natasha trusts Stevea lot when it comes to their bedroom activities. There is a short list ofthings they will never do.

39.   - Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed whofirst?  When did they realize they were in love? It was sort ofmutual and Steve kissed her first and not for some time.

40.   - Any special memories? Do they have a special placethey like to go to? Little moments, like their first kiss and just those perfectridiculously sappy couple moments they’ve had a few of. Not really.

41.   - Are they party-goers? What are they like whenthey’re drunk? Does it happen often? Only when forced and Steve has todrink Asgardian level booze to get even tipsy and neither is pretty when drunkand it doesn’t happen often.

42.   - Do they let each other get away with things thatwould normally bother them? Yes and no, it depends.

43.   - Do they talk often? What about? Sometimes andabout various things, usually relationship things or just random topics.

44.   - Are the comfortable with each other? Anything theyhave to have their privacy for? They are actually despite theiroccasional problems very comfortable. But they do require privacy for variousthings.

45.   - Any special dreams or goals they have as a couple?Any heartbreaks? Regrets? Not really, they’re just taking it all a day at atime, any little tiffs and spats they have, Natasha for not being more honestand Steve for not admitting his feelings sooner.