#honestly I'm going to be vulnerable here which is probably A HUGE MISTAKE

[kagejima]

this isn't meant for me to sound self-deprecating i swear to god, but sometimes my anxiety is like "everyone doesn't like you anymore" and then i remember it's early in the morning or super super late in the US when I'm online and most of you just aren't awake 💀💀💀💀

[squirrels-are-sleeping]

COUNTER/Weight 29: Three Conversations, Liveblog

There's been so much new music since we've set out from Counterweight, I'm so happy!

AUSTIN: … It is a mistake to think the graduate of the new stratus program is merely a weapons platform or some sort of fantasy pulled from the  neurovids. They are the embodiment of a new mode of being. In time, they’ll reveal not only the secrets of corporate labs, not only the workings of your holy divines, but the interiority of interiority itself.

Whoa whoa whoa, Austin Walker, you get back here and tell me some more about the state of scholarship on modes of being in the Golden Branch Sector! Where does Maryland September stand in relation to the ontological turn in science and technology studies? Is "Modes of Existence" by Bruno Latour still cited, *as it should be*? Please tell me this, it's very important.

Also, I assume Attar Rose is Ibex before Righteousness, that's cool.

KEITH: (typing and copying Austin) When my smartass mouth ruins the mission. ART: So we’ve just decided that Keith gets infinity XP, is that what we’re doing here? AUSTIN: This is the problem with this is, so often the case his smartass mouth, for whatever reason, ends up going into a roll he succeeds at, which means he probably won’t get experience from it.

I can already picture it. Mako: "I am actually the Divine Smoothness, it's weird that you haven't heard of me" NPC: "That tracks, let me tell you all my secrets"

KEITH: I want to be sort of grumpily doing a chore AUSTIN: You’re like, rearranging the food rations in the kitchen alphabetically, because Orth demanded that an alphabetic kitchen is the most organized kitchen and it’s just… the worst.

Mako doing chores to appease Orth is honestly a gift that keeps on giving, I hope it just keeps happening forever.

JACK (as AuDy): Due to unstable solar wind, please remain in your cabins. JACK: And then I just nudge the stick very slightly so that the ship maintains its course but begins to spin slowly on its axis. And then I walk back to the cockpit.

I love that AuDy is a huge liar, and apparently Liberty & Discovery is right there with them as well.

Also: the transcript keeps "as AuDy" notation, but it's still not clear to me how mixing multiple artificial personalities in one robot chassis works. Do they stack like bricks, together but distinct, or do they mix like a chemical reaction into an altogether new compound?

JACK (as AuDy): You know, Ibex? What I need to know about you now, after ten years, is whether or not the fact that Jerboa is no longer in the picture is something you’ve chalked up as a good thing. AUSTIN (as Ibex): No…  AUSTIN: And he struggles for a second, and it’s hard to tell what he’s struggling against. AUSTIN (as Ibex): It hurts, a lot.

You know, this is probably what I, too, needed to hear from Ibex. Up until now it wasn't clear to me that this fucker isn't completely divorced from compassion, love, or pain that isn't his own. Good question, AuDy-and-Liberty-and-Discovery.

JACK (as AuDy): … Look. This is very strange for all of us, but I think if we all just work together as a crew at this point, we’re going to be able to move forward. In space… and time.

Babygirl (gender-neutral), you're on a moving spaceship >.<

But anyway, this specific sentence is so wooden and uncomfortable, when their speech isn't at all, otherwise. I choose to interpret it as AuDy papering over a feeling of vulnerability.

JACK (as AuDy): I’m the Divine Liberty and the - KEITH: (overlapping) and Discovery. JACK (as AuDy): Divine Discovery. (a pause) Yeah. Those. KEITH (as Mako): Knew it.

Mako really wants to have known about this, when it's blatantly obvious he's only just found out.

KEITH (as Mako): (whispering) I didn’t, didn’t really know that he was a Divine. ART (as Cass): Yeah, I know buddy.

God, this is so sweet. It's never been so evident that Cass is a full decade older, and approximately 100 years more mature

JACK: Uh… [Orth] just goes and sits in the tiny co-pilot’s chair we’ve made and swings it around, away from the group.

My heart is never not breaking for Orth. He's still that aggressively over-promoted pilot who wants to hide in his quarters and watch anime, huh.

JACK (as AuDy): Mako… Mako. You are not clobbering the Divine Candidate Ibex. You are not doing that. KEITH (as Mako): You killed his brother! JACK (as AuDy): Well, we’ve talked about that.  ALI (as Aria): To be fair, all of us are owed like one shot. JACK (as AuDy): Nobody here is clobbering Ibex.  AUSTIN: AuDy, when was the last time that you saw Jerboa as a child?

Hey, Austin? OUCH

JACK: … Everybody in space is sad.

A tagline for this show if I've ever heard one (and also why I can't get enough of it)

AUSTIN: … [Ibex] is older now, and carries himself less aggressively, and that gives him more confidence, and so in a way it’s actually a more powerful pose.

Right, what this guy needed was more confidence

AUSTIN (as Ibex): … So, you’re headed to September? JACK (as AuDy): That was the plan. AUSTIN (as Ibex): What for? ALI (as Aria): Mostly to stop you from killing us? AUSTIN (as Ibex): (quietly) Oh god… I’m in the middle of an invasion, there’s a coup happening … I don’t have time to swat flies. We send those messages out all the time. There’s an algorithm, it plugs in names, it develops threats specifically to upset people so they’ll get in line. I don’t make (chuckles) personal appearances very often. I’m very busy.

That motherfucker! "I'm too busy to send you threatening messages"

KEITH (as Mako): I don’t like you at all. AUSTIN (as Ibex): That’s fair… a lot of people don’t like me. Lot of people don’t like medicine. They still take it. KEITH (as Mako): You can’t just say shit! [mocking tone] “A lot of people don’t like me, a lot of people don’t like mehhh…” [blows raspberries] that doesn’t mean anything!

I really like how Keith's characters take on Ibex. (I was going to say "how Mako takes on Ibex", but Sokrates handled him similarly). They don't argue against his points, they just dismiss them as meaningless wholesale, and it's very effective.

AUSTIN: He reaches out and touches Mako’s head, and like… it’s cold? His hands are cold. And… he, like… runs his hands though your hair as if he’s looking for something. And he finds it, and rests his forehead on yours. And suddenly you feel it too? It’s… like… you’ve been carrying something for a long time? Like… weight that you had been so used to carrying around? That it stopped feeling like weight.

He can just… uninstall Righteousness from Mako by bonking heads together, and without doing a reinstall of everything else that Mako is? I'm shocked that it's even possible, but maybe that's where the metaphor of Righteousness as an operating system breaks down

KEITH (as MAKO): He’s not here! You said he was coming, and he didn’t come, he sent a robot! AUSTIN (as IBEX): What are you talking about? JACK (as AUDY): It stings a little, Ibex, that you wouldn’t… [Ibex scoffs] that you wouldn’t come in person… oh… [AuDy laughs]. AUSTIN (as IBEX): This is it, man…

I am very confused by what this is saying about the whole Ibex-Righteousness situation.

ETA after finishing the episode: nope, still confused. I get that Ibex and Righteousness have basically merged. I don't get how the fact that Ibex has a robotic jaw and voice box got AuDy to conclude that he's being taken over by Righteousness. Lots of people have cyberware, no? (It probably doesn't matter in the grand scheme)

AUSTIN (as IBEX): [long-ass speech about big animals going extinct from cold, and small animals thinking they've done it, and therefore, Rigour is scary] ART: For someone who is so scared, this is an insane way to tell us this information! ALI: It’s incredibly in character.

Seriously, that fucking guy! It's not just he is scared, he also wants to mobilise them and recruit them to his purpose, and long metaphoric speeches are one of his prime tools. He's just a walking wall of sound.

AUSTIN (as IBEX): How you getting on with your [sibling]these days? Sokrates? ART (as CASS): I… we haven’t spoken since the war. AUSTIN (as IBEX): OK, well… if you could send them a letter, that would be good. Don’t… I’m not… just let them know that there’s… something big. I don’t think he’d be a big fan of Rigour.

yes yes yes get more Sokrates in here, i love them. Get Cass talking to their family. Good job, Ibex

AUSTIN (as IBEX): … Rigour devours people, but that’s about it. KEITH (as MAKO): AuDy, do you devour people?  JACK (as AUDY): No. … JACK (as AUDY): I murdered my first Candidate with a saw.  JACK: I’m not saying that… but that’s what happened!

alkfdjhfadjsf well if he hadn't gone around disappointing the Divine by drawing all those Jokers

AUSTIN: When you secure Maryland September, mark experience. If you each escape September alive, mark experience. ART: Is that one each, or one if all of us get out? AUSTIN: It’s one if all of you get out.

F E A R

I can smell self-sacrifice, and people dying while trying to stop each other from self-sacrifice

JACK: Great. I love space. Space is just… Everything’s going fine.

Another tagline, along with "everybody in space is sad"

Final episode thoughts: So much has happened within the space of three conversations! We're not running away from Ibex any more? Ibex is the quest-giver??

It's just as well that Rigour went to September, tbh, because I can't see how Ibex could talk these guys around from running away from him to working for him, otherwise. It was going to take more than a parable about big animal extinction.

[carnal-lnstinct]

Thank you for writing for the dbz fandom 😍 there is never enough content for them. I also so that requests are open, may I make one? May I request headconons of some of the dbz characters (I don't know who to pick because I like them all ☺ or your choice) that pine for the reader or have a huge crush on the reader who is oblivious?

I'm happy to be here for it! Very true, there is never enough!

Thank you for the request! I'll do my personal top 3 for this one, then. ♥ But feel free to ask again if you come up with someone specific you want from the listed characters I write for.

Crushing/Pining Character(s) x Oblivious Female Reader Pairing: Goku x Reader | Broly (DBS) x Reader | Vegito x Reader Rating: T Warning: ( slightly suggestive )

Goku -

In Goku's defense, he probably was pretty open about liking you with a display of confidence and his charming smile lingering on every word. But the issue is he more than likely confessed to having feelings for you as he would openly admit to liking anything.

So it's not completely your fault his specific brand of attention and friendliness to you feels like he's just being his natural self. You don't read too much into him putting his arm over your shoulder, offering to help you with chores he hates to do, sharing a bed if he sleeps over sometimes, and especially how often he compliments your cooking. He does those things with his other friends, too.

You just happen to miss the way his eyes warm when he stares at you and how often he actually holds your hand.

You guys could share a bath in a hot spring together and it feels like the most casual thing you could do. You settle in your clingy towel and let the heated waters relax you and it's literally the first time you looked vulnerable to him.

He feels strange about it, his whole body does, tensing up when he should be in the same relaxed state as you by now. So Goku opts to move away from you, releasing your held hand and prompting you to catch him by the towel before he got away to question where he was going.

He doesn't really have an answer to that and it would be rude to straight-up say he needs to get away from you. You standing up in your wet towel and folding your arms under your chest putting your cleavage on display didn't help.

You were always cute to him but this was different! Now his heart is racing and he can feel a change in his body. Maybe it's okay he feels that way if he said he liked you before? Goku finds a means to fumble through his explanation of how being in the water with you like this makes him feel different, hopeful you could help him feel less weird.

You nod, understanding, then proceed to point to the other hot spring pool. Clearly, the water in this one is off and messing with him, you suggest moving to the other one for a better experience.

How does it feel to out-Goku Goku?

Broly ( DBS ) -

Listen don't do this to him okay, he's trying his best to get his feelings across.

He may be a man of few words and subtle gentle acts because he's not too sure how to approach you with his feelings, but if you're not picking up on the obvious signs he's giving you then you're both honestly killing everyone around you with anticipation of will they-won't they.

He'll try to hang out with you more, which entails him sitting pretty close to you and talking a little more than he normally would. Hell, you even look like a couple sitting together like that.

He misconstrues your cluelessness to a point of mistaking it for some high level of self-confidence you have in yourself, it outright flusters him. How can he match that kind of energy without fighting you?

Broly is sure sitting and sharing his food with you was the right move to make to get his feelings known. You barely notice how each serving of food is neatly aligned close around you to make sure you got to try all of it first. He even tried to eat it slowly to make sure you could eat until you were stuffed. That's considered romantic, right?

But a saiyan eating so little, so slow? You're forced to ask if something is wrong with him instead, why wouldn't he eat all the food he brought with him? He is honest and declares that he brought it here for you.

It's when you ask "Why" and explain you could never hope to eat that much that you see his tan face start to glow red and he actually starts to sweat. It's suddenly difficult to get his words out, stuttering one or two before all he could think to do was shove his entire plate in his mouth.

He did not like that anxious sensation one bit, maybe it was easier for now if you thought he caught a cold or something.

Vegito -

If Vegito has a crush on you, then there is probably an already existing crush from either Goku or Vegeta on you. It's really going to shine through in this fusion, or even Gogeta.

His boastful demeanor could cause you to overlook the blatant flirting he's doing with you. He's a fusion of Goku and Vegeta, after all - hubris and playful enthusiasm would cause you to think he's just trying to be cool and show off how powerful he is in this form.

It's half true, he is showing off how strength, but it's mostly to hold your attention on him while he fights.

It goes without saying that if he's around, then something terrible required his presence. But no matter how much stronger he is than his opponent, he's going to put on a good act for your eyes and make small glances your way to make sure you're watching him fight. Then he'll go all out to astound you with a big, world-shaking finish to the fight and really charm you, hopefully with some time to spare in his combined state to gauge any reciprocation of your feelings for him now.

There's hope, you seem amazed by his fighting prowess and flatter the combined skills of both Goku and Vegeta (and therefore himself) with such vigor and passion. Enough to see the confident leer of his change to the bright beam of round eyes as he softens up for you.

Finally, the moment one of them he has been waiting for! Your admiration was finally all his. However, when you follow up your congratulations by kindly suggesting he should try to show off a little less and keep his eyes on the fight to finish off the opponent more quickly in his limited time, his entire expression changes in surprise. You give him a friendly pat on the arm and turn your attention elsewhere, missing the sight of his shoulders dropping and the invincible air around him crumbles with defeat.

Sure, he saved the day but at what cost if you didn't recognize his affection? At least you're all alive for him to try again.

[bottlesandcats]

hiii!! i hope it's okay to just ask you, i really want to start writing fanfiction but i'm so embarrassed of my writing style and in general, ever showing it to anyone? do you have any tips for beginners? 🥺

Hey there Anon! Sorry for the delay in getting back to you, but I was at work when I saw your ask, and wanted to really think about what to say before responding. With that in mind, I hope you don't mind a really lengthy answer.

I have to say I’m incredibly flattered to have someone ask me for writing tips, and will do my best to provide some insights based on my own experience. I'm no expert, but I've done a lot of writing both academic and creative. Of course, it goes without saying that the following strategies are what work for me, personally. Everyone works and thinks differently, so some of my suggestions may not fit the way you work and that's totally okay!

Because I am an anal nerd, I've organized my responses into categories.

Writing Style

Firstly, remember that your writing style is unique to you and you have nothing to be embarrassed about! But honestly, I think a lot of writers feel the same way; I don’t actually like my fiction writing style, either, and am always working to improve it.

One thing I’ve found that helps: find authors whose style you really like, and read and reread their stories and study how they write. What’s their sentence structure like? How do they write dialogue? How do they set up scenes? Is it through dialogue or more through the use of a character’s thoughts? This is what I do. I have three authors, who all write in a particular way that I really love, that I tend to reread and study for inspiration. Just know that your style is not set in stone and you do have the ability to adjust it, it just takes practice.

At the end of the day it's easy to wish we could write like our favorite authors, but don't be too hard on yourself; your style is special, too!

Getting Started

When I used to write research papers in school, I was a big fan of creating outlines before I'd start writing the actual paper. However, for creative writing, I don't use outlines because I find that I'm constantly changing things around. The outline would either have to be so basic in order to allow for flexibility that it wouldn't be of much use, or it would become irrelevant three chapters in.

Writing that first sentence is probably the hardest part of writing a story. What I did, for the story I'm working on now, is picked a part that I was really excited to write about and just started with that, first (I'm pretty sure it was something that comes much later in my story, that I haven't even posted yet). That helped me to get really into the process and feel confident about what I was doing, which made it easier to move onto other sections. What I'm trying to say is don’t be hemmed in by feeling like you have to write sequentially. I tend to write scenes as they come to me; I don’t force myself to write consecutive chapters, if that makes sense. For example, in my current story, I had chapter 14 finished before chapter 11 bc I had a burst of inspiration and just wrote it all out. Just be aware that sometimes this can lead to you writing yourself into a corner (which did happen to me in this fic), but the beauty of it all is that it’s your story and you can change whatever you want!

If you’re writing a story with chapters, keep a point in mind. My beta reader actually taught me this. With each chapter, ask yourself “What is the goal of this chapter?” Think of chapters as mini stories that, when combined and read in order, create one big story (duh). Therefore each chapter should ideally have a purpose that moves the overall story forward.

Write about what you know. If you don't know -> research

Authenticity is really important to me. I have googled the most random shit for this story: "Did soldiers have to repair their own uniforms in WWII?" "Popular slang of the 30s and 40s." "How to make jambalaya." "Popular cigarette brands of the 30s."

I have also been very careful around race in my story as it involves POC and I'm as white as white gets (I got a hyphenated name and everything). When I address a character's emotions around race I try to match it to how they acted in the show/movie. I don't rely on conjecture or how I think they'd feel, bc as a white person, it's impossible for me to truly know what it's like to be a POC. This also goes for dialogue; it can be easy to turn people into caricatures. I've watched TFATWS at least three times, and have watched numerous interviews with Anthony Mackie to try and make sure I write dialogue and emotion that fits him as an individual and not a stereotype. It's not perfect, and I'm sure I've made some mistakes, but it's something that's really important to me and I try my damndest to make sure Sam Wilson comes across as authentic.

Getting Edits

I see a lot of people suggest sharing your work with friends or family to get feedback. I'm not really a fan of this because I'm pretty private about my writing. I don't want anyone that I know reading it bc, frankly, I'm embarrassed (hey look how we came full-circle there!). Besides AO3, Tumblr is the only space that I feel comfortable enough to share my work without fear of judgement. I think the preferred alternative is to get yourself a beta reader. This is the first fic that I've worked on with a beta reader and...wow, what a huge difference it has made! I found my beta reader when he posted on tumblr expressing an interest in beta'ing, and so I messaged him (hey @3dg310rdsupreme). It’s the best decision I ever made. He has truly made me a better writer, and my current in-progress fic wouldn’t be nearly as good without him offering edits, acting as a sounding board, and reigning in my excessive use of lengthy paragraphs (he will probably cringe at these paragraphs, here).

Posting Your Story

If/when you do decide to post your story in a public forum, try to maintain a loose posting schedule. When I first started uploading I committed to a chapter a week, but by the eighth chapter I was getting too stressed and found myself glued to my computer 24/7 trying to keep up. Hold yourself to goals so you don't wind up abandoning the fic, but remember that you are your own boss and this is meant to be fun, so go easy on yourself. I'd also recommend getting several chapters finished BEFORE you even post the first one, to give yourself a head start. You think you have plenty of time but it's surprising how much time edits and rewrites can take.

It can be really scary to share your work with others. Writing is really hard, can be very personal, and it's an incredibly vulnerable feeling to put yourself out there like that and leave yourself open to the judgements of others. I was terrified when I first started to upload chapters because I just wasn't sure what reader etiquette was like. The last time I posted a fic was on FanFiction.net almost 10 years ago and ppl did not hold back their criticism (I think things have vastly improved since then or maybe AO3 readers are just nicer). I can't emphasize this enough: you are not obliged to take readers' criticisms/feedback whether they are constructive or not. I don't ever leave criticisms or corrections when I comment on other writers' stories; I honestly don't feel it's my place to do anything other than support them as they are sharing their talents for free. Some writers welcome constructive criticism, and will typically state that in the notes if they are open to it. I do not; it's why I have a beta reader. I did have one reader post a public comment correcting me on a couple things (one of which was a misunderstanding on their part) and I politely requested that in the future any corrections should be sent to me privately, not publicly shared.

Wow...I think that's a good start. I really hope at least some of these tips will be useful to you! Thanks for reaching out, feel free to do so again, and if you ever want to send some pages my way you are more than welcome to! Just remember, be kind to yourself and have patience bc seriously…

[athena-is-a-chaotic-lil-shit]

Of Ice and Blood

Part 3

Hey there! Thank you for taking the time to read this

There are so many left out details here that I did on purpose for future explanation within the fic for the element of mystery I'm trying to brew . Hope you don't mind! Enjoy reading❤

Part 1

Part 2

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

1.7k words.

Pairing: Tai'chi Kashharzol (Orc) x Pearl Blackbell (Human OC/Reader)

Warnings: cursing, violence, injury and fighting.

*

Without thinking, I drove my fist towards the voice, regretting it the instant I recognized who it was.

Tai'chi.

I shouldn’t have been surprised when I found my fist encased in his hand. He seems unfazed by my reaction, seemingly expecting it.

“Oh shi— I’m so sorry!”

How the hell did he sneak up on me without making a sound??

“Feisty- I mean, I should be the one sorry, for startling you...And for following you. I just wanted to, make sure you were alright.”

I blinked. He was concerned?

He spoke up when I didn’t respond.

“So, are you okay?”

“Y-Yeah. I’m fine. Just, disappointed.” I breathed in and sighed as he gently let go of my fist.

Oh, and his scent helps right now. He smells so...wonderful I don’t know why. It’s not like I’ve been surrounded by disgusting odors my entire life. I swear I’ve inhaled appealing scents like lilac, sandalwood, cinnamon, even rain has its particular smell! But Tai'chi, he—he’s something else entirely.

“Shouldn’t you be somewhere else like, I don’t know, maybe getting lunch with some of your friends or in a classroom?” I asked. I wonder why he would even bother to be in my presence. Anyone should be creeped out by the way I spoke up earlier. I mean, who does that? Plus, I did throw a stranger down to the floor. But part of me knows he deserved that.

Definitely.

“Want to talk about it?” He ignored my question. Tai'chi was now sitting cross-legged beside me, the oak’s root in between us. His deep azure eyes studying, watching me carefully.

“What?”

“What you did back there, wasn’t something a plain, timid college girl would do.”

Wait. He knew I was pretending to be one?

“Yes, I knew.”

“You can read minds?!” I stammered out. He can read my mind this whole time?! Shit.

He held up for a second before a boisterous laugh broke out of him and echoed through the circling trees, scaring away some birds perched above. I don’t know if I should be offended or flustered by his guffaw. It was so, so deep and rich and —

What the hell Pearl? What if he's reading your mind??

Tai'chi faced me again, sighing once he calmed down.

“To answer your question, no, I can’t read minds. But like I stated before, your face gives it away. Or your brows since you’re wearing a mask, but I can imagine your expression.”

I let out an incomprehensible noise.

“How did you find out I was pretending to be…you know,” waving my hands around.

“The moment we made eye contact this morning when you entered. And the way you shifted your body at the last second to prevent yourself from plunging into the trash bin, I knew you were something more. Your eyes and your actions show your experience in combat. A skilled warrior would notice these little things right away.”

My jaw fell open, and I’m sure he knows. He left me speechless.

Should I tell him I am a trained martial artist and a weapon wielder?

But we just met like 5 hours ago!

He seems trustworthy. And he’s an orc, didn’t they have a code of honor or something?

My thoughts ran wild I swear Tai'chi could hear my mind, screaming.

“Hey, it’s okay if you don’t wish to. And I must’ve sounded, creepy when I admitted I’ve been observing you. But before anything else, will you allow me to introduce myself, for real this time?”

“You mean your name isn’t Tai'chi?”

Letting out a chuckle, he replied, “I swear to you, my name is Tai'chi. What I mean is, I want you to know my full name. Do you understand what this implies, Pearl?”

I racked my brain for a moment, trying to recall what my parents said about orc traditions when my uncle, papa’s brother, married the orcess he fell in love with. Something about an orc’s real name being reserved only to those they’re close to?

“I guess so? But what exactly?”

“I want to become your friend.”

I couldn’t help the slight warmth creeping into my cheeks behind my mask. He can’t see it, can he? A friend, he says. A friend!

“Oh,” was all that came out. A pause and;

“Uh, I mean, I’d love to be your friend! I never had an actual friend before. I mean, have cousins, but we aren’t acquainted enough to consider myself their friend— I mean— uh, what should I do?” I blurted out a little rapidly.

He smiled. He actually smiled! Oh, damn, it was adorable!

Tai'chi was about to say something, but he snapped his mouth shut and grimaced. I was confused by his sudden change of mood, along with his scent.

Then it struck me.

The two of us shot up when multiple smells filled the air, making my stomach clench.

We were followed, not just one but six individuals. One of them was the pretentious human from earlier.

My day can’t get any better. And is that a baseball bat? Great. Fucking great.

I swear. I’m cursed to find trouble anywhere I go.

“Hello, freaks.” The guy in the middle began. “Whatcha doin’ out here in the forest?”

The others began spreading out and surrounded us.

“Planning something nasty I bet.” A human to my right spat.

“You will pay for what you did to me, you bitch. Just so you know, my father is the dean of this university. No one will ever hear a word of what I did here and what we will do to you.

'Dean’s son, David Silverstone, assaulted by an insane student in the woods within campus grounds. His friends graciously helping him fight off the lunatic until she passed out and was carried to an isolation chamber for monitoring, later finding out about her severe psychological disorder.’ Now wouldn’t that be a hit in the papers!” The bastard and his companions cackled and snickered, some of them stealing glances between my legs and I felt my skin crawl.

Tai'chi growled lowly, silencing them for a brief moment. He was getting mad but held his ground.

“And you,” the human pointed, “you beast. It won’t be hard antagonizing you, people will no doubt believe you were the one who violated the schoolgirl and left her in the woods to die.”

This fucking—

I felt a hand on my shoulder just as I was about to start, gently gripping, in hopes of trying to calm me down. He knows they were baiting us on making the first move. He shook his head, and an idea popped up.

Taking a deep breath, I attempted to make my voice as girly as possible, sounding so hilarious, like those overdressed, flashy high school girls with flowery perfume so strong I wrenched every time I get a whiff of it.

Provoking them would do.

“Oh, I’m so scared! Should I get on my knees and beg for mercy? Oh please, great and noble one, have mercy on my poor soul.” My voice laced with mockery and sadness, with my legs fake trembling and my arms flailing.

And did Tai'chi just snort?

“If you beg nicely, I will perhaps give you a chance to— ”

My sudden wheezing interrupted him and I laughed. Hard. I can’t believe he bought my terrible acting! I expected him to straight-up be offended rather than actually bite the false bait. He is dumber than I thought.

I was holding my middle by the time I was done. Tai'chi’s shoulders were moving slightly, probably chuckling and trying to hold back his amusement.

“Did you honestly take it seriously??? I can't— oh my God!” I choked out once more before I went on.

“There’s no chance in hell I’m gonna bow to you, not even one degree of an angle, you foolish, idiotic, spoiled, bastardized son of a bitch.”

His face was turning red out of rage and oh! Wasn’t that a sight to behold?

“You brat!” Turning his head to the others, he yelled, “What are guys standing there for?! Get them!”

Good.

Perhaps they didn’t catch my hands slipping on my beloved crimson knuckle dusters out of the bag when I was laughing then, tugging down my hoodie’s sleeve to hide it.

“Don’t move.” I told the orc, whose eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“But—”

“Just don’t.” I said with my voice firm. I will take them on my own. I can’t have him getting in trouble and people blaming him for being an orc. Imagine that. The ones who attacked him will be viewed as victims because they were up against him, an orc. Numerous humans will jump at the chance to throw dirt at their race, a single act of self-defense treated as a one-sided assault to humans, the thought of it being enough to somehow remove all of them from the city, but everyone knows it's not that simple. Dimwits.

I strode forward without earning his response, waiting for the first person to come at me.

I took my stance, although it was more of preparing half of my body since I was still hiding both of my hands.

They all seemed confused and hesitant, which was what I was going for. To me, and those with experience in hand-to-hand combat, this is one of the most basic stances, but fundamental, nonetheless. A simple form that can determine the outcome of a fight. With my right foot forward, left foot back, both firmly planted to the ground, and my dominant hand wearing my dusters. In their eyes, it was…wrong, foreign. Some may even say it’s an open vulnerability, showing how inexperienced the opponent is, but oh, it is the exact opposite.

I didn’t see Tai'chi’s expression, though. I was on alert and getting into my zone to peer at him, one motion that can put me in a compromising position. Did he notice my brass knuckles? Likely.

“Scared to hurt a little girl like me?” I enticed.

Finally, the one beside their alleged leader charged at me.

A typical amateur approach.

The guy, about two inches taller than me, threw a right punch, which was a huge mistake.

Predictable.

I smirked under my mask and dodged it not a second before it connected. Making him falter as I grabbed his arm and brought it down to my knee, dislodging his joints.

A high-pitched scream of pain broke out of him as he dropped down on the forest ground, gripping his bent-off arm, cursing, but refused to rise and fight me again.

I gave him one last glance before I looked back at the others.

“Who’s next?”

****************************************

Those human shits just can't leave them alone! Interrupting their supposed-to-be official introduction! There's more to the orc that meets the eye *wink* Who is he exactly? Why was he so... observant?

Part 4 is actually on its third revising— and I'm still trying to come up on HOW to phrase my next words to lead to part 5. I let me brain take a break from spewing senseless words for now so I'll probably post the next part of this later or tomorrow

Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! And I'd appreciate it if you have some advice for me, or just point out some mistakes I made! Thank you

Ps. This is really not perfect formal writing if you're wondering. I just type away whatever comes into my mind, and then proofread it to the best I can. And I hope you don't mind me using a lot of spaces. It... sort of makes my mind clear and continue moving forward, and it helps me when I'm reading it again, mentally taking note that with every line between spaces there's a slight pause and again, read it clearly like you were the one thinking it. I don't know how to explain how my own brain works but I guess that's that?

Tags: @kokokatsworld @crackinanutshell

[letterstothemidnightsociety]

Alright, so if you've been following along with me, Supernatural season 3 starts out on a trio of episodes that are Really Fun, slides into some episodes that are Pretty OK, then takes a real nose dive into Bummersville. Hoo boy guys, I really hope that this season picks up. I mean, it won’t, but I can still dream. 2021 was maybe not the year to start watching this season. Fair warning.

The next three episodes for this season are just, like, real downers. First we get “Fresh Blood,” which, aside from the terrible title, starts out on a high note. Gordon (gross) somehow manages to catch up with Bela (HOW??) and threatens her if she doesn’t hand over the Winchesters. Bela, in all of her class and grace, won’t give them up because she has a high price point and Gordon is really lowballing her here. Just like, yes, ok, please stay forever, you’re amazing and I love you. And what a scene this is! You have two characters, one with a strict moral code (albeit one that allows for violence and winning at all costs) and the other with almost NO moral code, but an allegiance that can be bought with the best price and it’s such a fun back and forth until Gordon pulls out a gun. And then she pulls out her phone and just has Dean on speed dial and that’s maybe my fav part. Bela has run into the Winchesters twice and they maybe legit hate her but she’s very much like, oh yeah, my BFF’s the Winchesters, I love those idiots!

I love that we come back to this moment later in the episode when Bela, like, three days later, is like, Oh! I guess I should warn the Winchesters that some crazy guy is after them! She’s just so casual about it you kind of get the feeling that, even though technically Gordon was threatening her life, she doesn’t view him as A Threat. She gives the Winchesters a heads up just to be like oh yeah, you might want to watch out for this mild inconvenience, and she seems legit shocked when Dean freaks out. There’s this moment that plays across her face like, oh shit, did I...did I fuck up? And it adds a nice bit of depth to her character. She’s seems honestly worried, both for the lives of the Winchesters but also that Dean won’t like her anymore and that is just a charming bit of A C T I N G!

I am gonna miss her SO MUCH when she dies at the end of this season. WHY did we CANCEL HER???

But despite the fun beginning, this episode is about monsters and how people become monsters and how other people are probably the reason. Because our main baddie is a vampire who hunts to...well, listen if we look at the facts that he lays out in his monologue, it’s a little more tragic - he’s trying to replace the daughters that he lost hundreds of years ago, cool motive, still murder. In practice though, he goes around turning hot blonde coeds into vampires and then ?????? Who knows. I’d like to believe that this was a problem with the CW executives or maybe casting/directing and not with the writing, but it’s SPN and you really can’t be sure with anything. The fact is, this is a CW show from the early 2000’s and a lot of their extras are cast to type. And that’s maybe me exhibiting some girl-on-girl crime, but there are other episodes that did a much less blatantly gross job casting their extras/Very Special Guest Stars.

Anyway, the POINT of this guy is that he’s a monster because someone killed his daughter and he’s just been trying to fill that grief hole inside of him for centuries. This is not unlike Gordon, who ALSO has been trying to fill a grief hole that he’s had for decades, except he’s not killing people and resurrecting them as blood suckers, he’s just killing them. And then, when the Vamp decides to turn Gordon it’s a real sweet moment of comeuppance for like, a HOT second and then you’re like, awww dude, ya done f’ed up. That was a bad idea. You’ve made a HUGE mistake.

More importantly, our Vampire In Question finally runs into the Winchesters and get’s to say things like “I was desperate! You ever felt desperate? I've lost everyone I ever loved. I'm staring down eternity alone. Can you think of a worse hell?” and also “I just ... I didn't care anymore. Do you know what it's like when you just don't give a damn? It's like ... it's like being dead already.” and Dean’s v. much like, THIS IS TOO REAL ROY.

Sam may ALSO be feeling Too Real feelings because he is DONE dicking around with Gordon and honestly yes, I like this, this is good Sam development. It’s nice to know that Sam has a breaking point. And I admit I’m of two minds about this moment because 1) I love the idea of Dark!Sam this season and that maybe Sam’s decision to actually kill Gordon is just one step in that process but 2) I ALSO love the idea of Sam Lite finally having a breaking point and Gordon is IT. I don’t know which theory I like more in this scenario, but they are both good theories.

I think as much as this episode wants to draw parallels between the monsters and Dean (thank you artful editors), you can’t look at the “I’ve lost everyone I ever loved,” line and not think of Sam? Cuz he’s got one (1) person left in his life that hasn’t died horribly, so how desperate is he about to get through the end of this season? I’ve definitely been watching this season with eyes on all the ominous Dean foreshadowing, but the Sam foreshadowing is also there, just buried under the heavy weight of a thousand smulders and suicidal levels of denial.

And also, FUCK the tag on this episode! Guys, it is CUTE but it is also HORRIBLE. Dean starts teaching Sam how to fix the Impala and at first it’s all, “Oh! Adorable Brothers Being Brothers!” and I loved it but then I almost immediately hated it because you realize this is about making sure Sam can get along without him once he’s gone and Dean just accepts his own death with such casual ease that it’s just...INFURIATING!

This scene was rude and I HATE IT!

Cut to - “A Very Supernatural Christmas” Special!

Guys, I was so excited when I got to this episode. THIS is Classic Supernatural Shenanigans. Plus, you know a Holiday Special is the ultimate sign that this show has Made It, right? Or it could be a sign that they’re selling out, who knows, but I think we can say that at this point in the series, SPN is established enough to start having fun with their fans. That’s what this says to me. BUT THEN what we get is like...oh boy.

First - like, I’mma beat this horse to death, but what is WRONG with this FAMILY? John Winchester very quickly devolved into the sort of father that forgot about every single holiday and did not ever, even a little bit, make up for it. It’s not a surprise, but it kind of wrecked me seeing a flashback where Baby Dean is just so attached to a father who can’t be bothered to actually care for his children. I know he’s not in this episode because Jeffrey Dean Morgan was tied up in other projects, but the fact that John doesn’t show up at the end to button the flashbacks with a But then he DID show up for Christmas! just makes this plot line that more gutting. And despite Dean’s hero worship of their father, this is maybe the Christmas where Baby Sam stops believing in his own father. The only bright side to this is that it continues to enforce the fact that Bobby should have sued John for custody. Bobby should maybe STILL Sue for custody so that Dean at least would feel like someone wants him for once in his life, damnit.

And then we wrap this episode up with the Best Worst Christmas of all, because we see Sam start to...also?? accept that Dean is about to die? Cuz that’s what this episode is really about - Dean’s Last Christmas. And everything about that makes me ~ u p s e t ~.

So Sam decides to put his curmudgeonly grinchy attitude aside in order to make it a special day for Dean and ugh. UGH. UGHGHGHG. Season three is the worst guys, and I can’t believe I didn’t realize that until right this second now.

So let’s wrap this up with "Malleus Maleficarum", honestly an episode that is mostly forgettable until we get to, like, the last five minutes. Sure, witches and curses and selling your soul, woohoo whatever.

But then we get some real Ruby centric reveals and like, WHAT is happening?? First off, the scene where Ruby and Tammy have a moment is a real Moment. There is some baggage and tension here and it is heavy. And then Tammy drops the mic when she reveals that Ruby used to be human.

THEN, Ruby legit saves their asses by killing Tammy with a fancy magic knife. Ok, Dean does the actual killing, but Ruby brought the fancy magic knife. So between the hot and heavy tension with “Tammy” and her repeated attempts to keep the Winchesters alive, we’re left wondering what IS Ruby’s deal? I personally wonder how much of the show’s mythology the show actually has figured out at this point? Because interviews with Kripke definitely walk the line between “Oh we definitely have this whole thing worked out,” and “yeah, we’re sort of finding things as we go along,” which is maybe why it’s able to last as long as it does. More on that later.

Of course the big kicker is the final scene between Ruby and Dean. Dean is almost on board with Ruby at this point in the season, and much like his scene with the demon in “Sin City”, they share a kind of vulnerable moment together where Ruby admits that, yeah, she was human once and yeah, Hell will destroy you, body and soul, and yeah Dean’s worst fear will probably come true - he will become the thing he hunts, no ifs, ands or buts about it. And Dean knows that Ruby knows that Dean knows that there’s no way to save Dean from his fate, but they both agree that they can’t take Sam’s last ounce of hope away from him because, for both of them, Sam is their hope. Ruby and Dean both see the war happening around them and they know that with Dean gone, Sam’s maybe the last guy holding back the tide to save all humanity.

Which, honestly? Bull shit. Do you know how many hunters are out there? Neither do I, but this season seems to indicate that there are a LOT. We have barely scratched the surface on the hunter community and it’s a damn shame that they are all weirdo loners because there is a war going on. You know what works great in a war? An ARMY. Buncha mentally unstable, martyr-complex ijits who can’t put their differences aside for one damn MINUTE so that maybe, JUST maybe, the could actually defeat the evil they’ve spent their entire lives dedicated to fighting. And if Ruby and Dean wanted to help Sam, what they should probably do is get him plugged in to that community. I do believe that of all they backasswards, self-obsessed, painfully anti-social crazies out there, the Winchesters are THE WORST.

Listen tho, this was like, a solid scene between these two. Just a lot of work goin' into this and it paid off.

Anyway, back to the mythology for a hot second - This sort of loosey-goosey stumbling into your own world building is probably another one of those things that you’ll only really get in a show with this many episodes per season? It’s that room to play and experiment and just make stuff up as you go along. I think the slow drip method of releasing episodes ALSO helps in this scenario because you’re able to see what fans are reacting to in almost-real time. When viewers are binging episodes, I think you're less likely to see what specifically they’re reacting to and more wholistically they’re reacting to. And that’s not to say you won’t see those specific things that they like/love eventually, but by the time you get there, your season’s been produced in its entirety and you’ll have to bear that in mind for (hopefully) next season. But with SPN, they were writing and producing the show at the same time that some of the episodes were airing. That’s why they were able to make decisions on the fly, based on what fans responded to. And definitely by this point in the show, there was a sizeable and vocal fan base that made their feelings VERY well-known. We’re only in season three, but they’ve already had a number of con appearances and a pretty active online presence. That kind of feedback has got to be helpful, from a writing perspective, but it also allows for things like characters getting cut because nobody liked them for some dumb reason. BUT, if you’re fighting to stay on the air for 100 episodes or longer, responding to fan reactions is what’s gonna do it and that’s a fact.

[dxmedstudent]

Part 1: I'm the 5th year med student with the critical supervisor. Thank you so much for your supportive reply, I honestly was half-expecting to be told to suck it up/toughen up. So your kind words meant a lot to me. If I fail 1 rotation, I fail my 5th year - so God forbid that I fail. You can appeal if you have mit circs, but not sure whether I have them. I only have 2 wks left of this 7-wk placement, wondering whether it's worth mentioning to uni, but considering it.

Part 2: It’s good to talk/other students might be helped. Wondering if I’m being oversensitive as other staff members/colleagues seem to just take this consultant on the chin, though. Re counselling service, not sure whether they can help in ways other than offering sessions, which I’m not sure I need. I have a hx of dep/anx/ocd, but I was doing well enough to finish weaning off meds 2 weeks ago and had my last cbt session last week            

Hello, it’s really good to hear from you again. I’m glad it helped. I don’t believe in telling people to ‘toughen up’ or put up with inappropriate behaviour. I actually think this is a huge problem in medicine; many of us are so used to lack of support, belittling, bullying, shouting or even outright abuse from colleagues or patients and their relatives, to the point where it just becomes something we all expect to put up with.  We DO get better at dealing with crap like this, but that’s not because we SHOULD. It’s simply because we keep getting exposed to it. I definitely am a lot less upset by patients shouting at me now than I was as a student, but that doesn’t make someone doing that acceptable. You’re not being over-sensitive, I do wonder if your colleagues are perhaps more inured to such behaviour. Or perhaps they too are fearful and just want to keep their heads down and survive. Perhaps they find it as unpleasant as you, only perhaps they too try to keep it on the inside. We don’t know how much our peers are suffering if they choose not to open up to us. Your real endame here involves two separate objectives: 1) pass the year, which means passing the placement.2) survive this placement and year with your mental health intact, because you do NOT want to go back to where you were, or worse. Both are equally important. It’s really great that you’ve recovered mentally enough to wean down your meds and finish CBT, it’s amaing progress! And that’s definitely a good sign for your general resilience and future. I’m glad to hear your mental health is generally going in the right direction. I’m not a fortune teller, and I wish you many, many years of mental stability and inner strength. But I have to suggest that when you’re newly recovering, it’s a particularly important time to take care. Just like a newly broken bone fresh out of the cast is still not quite like new, so our minds and our souls are also tender when we’re recovering mentally. you’re doing so well, but take especial care of your mental health, and keep a close eye for any signs you might be relapsing or might need more support. Because we’re still a little vulnerable whilst we’re still recovering.You know yourself, but perhaps it wouldn’t nurt to get some extra counselling or support though the weeks you’re stuck with this supervisor. It certainly wouldn’t hurt. In terms of passing, remember that once they’ve signed you off (or not) there’s little you can do about the outcome, except perhaps appeal. In terms of appealing, it helps if your university know what’s been going on beforehand. A heads-up can make all the difference. Universities care about students with mental or physical health problems, if they know that they actually have one. The biggest mistake people often make is not being honest with their university about what they are struggling with. I know time is short, but it’s still probably worth discussing it with your university. What’s the worst that happens if you tell unviersity about your mental health, or that the supervisor’s bullying is affecting you, and then you get failed? They might do nothing about it. Which is exactly where you’d be if you never informed your university at all. We all fear people treating us harshly because we have a health problem, but when universities don’t even know you have a problem, and you mess up, they treat you most harshly.  At the very least, talking to them about it might put you in line for mitigating circumstances, should the worst come to the worst.But they are unlikely to ignore what you’re telling them, because it’s in their interest to choose carefully where they send students every year, and universities move students if it doesn’t work out. I’ve seen it. More importantly, they are under legal obligation not to discriminate in terms of disability, and it would get them in trouble if they are ignoring the effect this has on your mental health. I suspect that your university would be more interested than you realise. Plus, think about the students that may benefit from this supervisor being monitored or having their students taken away; you might help someone next time around whose mental health is really fragile. It shouldn’t be the main reason you consider something, but most of us would like the horrible experiences we suffer to end with us. I get that talkng to universities about things like this can be scary and intimidating and deeply unpleasant; I’ve accompanied people to advocate on their behalf or lend support when they’ve been to such discussions. It is not nice, but it’s sometimes a necessary evil, to stick up for yourself and to ensure that you are getting the appropriate treatment you deserve.  Apart from that, you can just try to do your best and get by. I doubt they will fail you, but I think you should consider what you can do to fight your corner, in case they do. I’m a huge fan of contingency plans and planning in advance, because it’s stressful to be put into a situation at short notice having not thought of what your options are. This is regardless of whether you deserve to be failed, or how unlikely it is. Because we plan for serious things even if they are unlikely.And if they happen to fail you, it’d work in your favour if you’d been honest with the university about what was going on, and how they’ve been treating students. That will definitely paint a picture of the struggles you’ve been facing. Even if they won’t remive you from the placement, it might make them realise you have mitigating circumstances, between the tutor and your mental health. Good luck, and keep me updated. I hope you pass the rotation smoothly and continue on your way to much nicer rotations.

[survivorkomnata]

Episode #13: “I'm about to make a million dollar mistake..” - Tim

So....pretty sure my game just suffered a MAJOR setback. Alyssa was my ride or die to the end, and Karth just proved himself to be an unreliable ally. He felt threatened by Alyssa, and maybe rightfully so, since she would definitely have probably beaten him. So at this point, it looks like the sides are lining up to be Me/Zach vs /Tim/Karth/Stephen at this point. I don't think I can convince either Tim or Karth to go against the other, but Stephen might be a possibility. I promised him my loyalty if he'd be my ally, and I argued that tim and karth definitely could NOT and have shown that they will break those promises, so Stephen is pretty much my hope at this point. That being said, I am one clue for spelling the word 'ESCAPE' in the idol hunt, although I don't know what to do with the word once I get it. If I can pull out an immunity this time and get the idol, it's a possibility I could still make it to the end. Here's hoping.

So I survived the last tribal!!!! I can't believe it!! I'm very very satisfied with the way last round unraveled. I pushed for Alyssa to go because she was the main person after me and I was happy with targeting her this round. I pushed for her name because I figured Zach wouldn't want to go to rocks over Alyssa and if he didn't then she'd go home. I didn't want to vote Jake out because I'm trying to bring him to the end of the game with me and karthik. It all worked out in my favor when Stephen won immunity and Zach,Alyssa, and Jake voted for me. Karthik wouldn't flip on me and Stephen had nothing to lose in the event of a rock draw.

So this round's challenge is mastermind! I absolutely love this challenge it is my favorite!!!! Ok so the worst case scenario that can happen tonight is Zach winning immunity and Jake playing an idol on himself!!! That would leave me completely vulnerable. The only way I would survive in that scenario is if Zach and Jake vote Stephen and not me, which I doubt. But the numbers are dwindling quickly. Does jake really think he stands a chance against Zach or Stephen at the end???? He can't be that delusional right??

i promised alyssa i would have me or jake in ftc.

i lied.

the idol is gone.

i'm flopping at this challenge.

it's over.

i'm going :airplane emoji: fifth place.

i think there's a decent chance the vote is 3-2 and i'm in the 3, but get idolled out.

So basically at this point, my path to the end involves Karth not being an idiot, but for whatever reason, he doesn’t want to recognize Stephen as the legit jury threat he is. Ughhhh

Zach claims Stephen is the biggest challenge threat between the two since he has won 2 immunities. I disagree. Have yall SEEN Zach premerge??? He literally carried every tribe he was on. He def has challenge capabilities that I or Stephen don't possess. If I vote out Stephen then it leaves two duos at final 4. Its a 2v2 and if Zach wins that immunity then the game is over for me. If Jake wins it will go to firemaking and I will get my ass handed to me by Zach. On the FLIP SIDE If I vote out Zach then the game becomes a 3v1 with Stephen being a solo player. If he wins that immunity then I can kiss my chances of winning goodbye. If he loses then his game is up and I get to go to f3 and possibly win?? So that is why I'm leaning towards voting for Zach over Stephen.

I'm about to make a million dollar mistake.

I am a mess..idk what to do. I am unsure if I should be glad or sad for being the only person not getting votes so far. I have been doing the best I can but it still seems that I would be seen as the goat at the end. Its so unclear for me on how the jury perceives any of the remaining people and who their favorite. All I know is its definitely not me. At least winning this immunity could have given me some confidence but I wasnt lucky in that either.

I've been pretty calm all day today knowing that I'm going to survive the Tribal Council thanks to my idol. Maybe to a strange degree, but honestly, it's all okay. Jake winning immunity is unfortunate only because it limits my options of who to vote out, but I was leaning towards voting Zach anyway, so this isn't the worst case scenario at all.

Since Alyssa has been voted out, Tim and Jake have both told me that I'd win if I make Final Tribal Council. Tim even got a little vindictive with me when I tried to argue I wasn't the biggest threat to win. I appreciate the compliment, but not all of the implications that come with it. Needless to say, if I didn't have an idol, I'd be packing my bags tonight. But luckily, thanks to Tim, Karth, Alyssa, Jess, and Ally, and all the information they gave me, I won't have to worry about that. My eyes are on F4.

Winning the next immunity challenge would be amazing. It might get me into Final Tribal, but it may also just get me into F3 immunity. I have no clue what it could be. I hope I don't NEED to rely on immunity to stay, but, I mean, give me a break here. With so many people saying I'm THE threat to win, how could I not feel that way?

🚨🚨🚨ANNOUNCEMENT🚨🚨🚨 🚨THIS IS POSSIBLY MY LAST CONFESSIONAL FOR CELESTIAL: KOMNATA🚨

i believe this vote will be 3 votes stephen, 2 votes me. i also believe, in some way, stephen is going to get idolled.

my initial plan was to get [tim + karthik] = stephen [zach + jake] = tim [stephen] = zach

so when one of them idolled, i was safe. however, tim not being on board derails that plan entirely. this game is so frustrating. his logic to a degree makes sense. i support it. but like, stephen will sweep this FTC and i honestly probs wouldn't so. also, through our conversation, i realize how smart tim is. good for him!! king of analyzing.

anyway.

firstly, thank yawls for hosting. i'm sorry 2 alyssa. it's just sucky cuz the "three biggest players" at merge (this is on paper, not legit) were ally/alyssa/myself, and all three of us are probably leaving back 2 back LOL

i also want to apologize to jake. this is for post-season ig NNNNNN jake - i want 2 apologize for being distrusting of you in the past. you are a great person + i am so appreciative to have worked with you & met you in this game.

i am leaving this game content (if i do, that is). i played hard. despite a huge target on my back, i managed to get fifth (when i almost got 10th/7th). i had a pretty elevated social game, physical game too, and i think strategically i was fine. my main blunder was the idol misplay but zzz i wouldve used it at f6/7 anyway probs, just bc ppl knew i had it. i dont want to stroke my ego or anything but im fully accepting of how i played. i only wish i had more agency, but i dont really fault myself for that i guess (but when i get to jury/post season ill def see that it's probs more something i did but... for now, i'm angel :$)

me rn: Alexa, play The Climb

going✈️fifth and going✈️jury tonight! cheers

🚨🚨🚨gays dont win lol🚨🚨🚨

Sooooo...this vote basically hinges entirely on Karthik. If we three vote Stephen (is and Zach), then Stephen is out UNLESS he plays the idol which is a distinct possibility. Either way, the possibility that Stephen gets three votes and doesn’t have an idol is the only way Zach can get thru this vote, and I really hope he does.

Zach is voted out in a 3-2 vote. He becomes the seventh member of our jury.