#honestly i feel bad for hanne she's just looking out for her friend

[uitzinnigmp3]

this sure is a skam season huh

[ughgoaway]

Omg how does teacher girlie meet charli and Carly !!! I feel like she’d really get on well with Carly but charli would defo bring out her younger wild side, they’d be the ultimate girl group

this is so fun to consider!!!!

I think you know carly through school, Little hann goes to the same school you work at and you trained in his class so you've met both carly and Adam at various parent's evenings.

at your first one you were really fucking nervous standing at the front of the school greeting parents and just listening in for the actual meeting. you didn't say anything but smiled and nodded along with the teacher you were working with. After carly and Adam finished their meeting carly came up to you to have a quick chat.

"Hi! sorry to bother you, but you just seemed so nervous I had to say something. From what we've heard from our little one, he absolutely loves you. you're doing a great job, don't worry. " she soothingly places her hand on yours, and in that moment, you feel on the brink of crying.

you simply smile at carly and say, "thank you" and she can hear your shaky voice and see the mist in your eyes, so she doesn't say anything more just gives your hand a final squeeze and walks away.

you don't meet charli until a few months after you and matty are official and George is hosting a New years party.

you're standing in front of the mirror, stressing about what to wear as matty sits on the bed and insits you look beautiful in everything.

"You have to say that, you're my boyfriend." You say exasperatly, staring you decide this dress is shit too and pull it over your head.

"See, I think you should just wear that," matty says, standing up and coming behind you in the mirror, wrapping his arms around you.

you scoff and say, "Matthew, I'm in lingerie." You pause and stare at him in the mirror where he has on a cheeky smile and just nods assuredly.

"Please, as if you could cope with everyone seeing me like this. can you imagine knowing George has seen me in my underwear? You'd never let it go, " you say, smoothing your hands over his.

"mmm okay you're right. but honestly, baby, you'll look great in whatever you choose. don't stress too much, it's just George and charli." matty says with a shrug. he begins to walk away but spins around when he hears you shriek.

"WHAT. YOU DID NOT TELL ME CHARLI XCX WOULD BE THERE." You're looking at matty dumbfounded.

"I just assumed you knew!! we're going to George's house... where she lives... for a party... that she is hosting." As he explains his reasoning, you only get more and more stressed.

"But now there's even more pressure!!! she's like one of the hottest women alive??? I don't have anything to wear oh god-" You start pulling every dress out of your wardrobe and dramatically throwing it on the floor

After spending another 30 mins choosing a dress, you anxiously arrive, but any anxiety melts away when charli greets you with an enthusiastic, "Oh my god, hi!!! so great to finally meet the girl. matty has been obsessing over!!"

matty scoffs and tries to hide his embarrassment at being so blatantly called out, you simply scoff and say, "Oh I was just as bad, my poor friends are fucking sick of it!!"

charli laughed, dragged you away to get a drink, and you guys soon became close friends.

not long after you and charli became friends, you also grew close with carly, "the 75 wives and girlfriends have to stay close!" she'd said when you first went for coffee as a group.

it became a ritual when the boys were on tour. If you were all free on a Sunday morning, you, carly, Little hann, and charli would all go for a coffee.

if the boys were home, they might join you, or sometimes they are strictly banned if one of you has something to complain about.

"sorry matty you can't come! George has proper fucked charli off and she's about to slag him off for the next hour, and you're not trusted to not snitch!"

"What! that's bullshit! what if I promise I won't tell? " he says, pouting slightly.

"Mmm... Still don't trust you. Bye!" You say giving him a quick peck and running out of the house.

and when it's a weekend where can you all get pissed? absolutely you're going out.

drunk dancing until 3am, getting mcdonald's at a ridiculous time and all cackling so hard they kick you out for being too noisy. because it's breakfast time and all the grumpy businessmen are trying to get their 5am cappuccino, and you're all laughing about the time you and matty got caught in a green room on tour.

matty is very well versed in coming to pick you up from either the Hann House or Charli's. you always have sunglasses on and feel like death, and matty always has a cup of tea in a travel mug for you.

he loves how easily you bonded with them both. Your wild party girl side is so fun to see after he'd only ever seen you be professional (well... mostly). he loves how great you are with carly and Adams son, watching you interact with him and annie does give him wild baby fever.

speaking of baby fever... do we think teacher girlie and matty have any more kids??? I haven't even thought about it, but hmmm...

[yourtouchismidas]

would love to see a blurb of adam’s conversation with matty if it’s not a spoiler! (i also just want to give him a hug)

Matty is drunk. So drunk. The red checked hotel carpet is moving a little below his feet as he walks down it, making him feel even more like he could loose his footing any minute. He reaches the hotel room. Slumps against it. Then turns around and slides down it, back to the door.

"Hann," he whispers. "Hann."

Nothing moves behind the door.

"Hann," he whispers again. Well, not a whisper, more like a quiet shout. "Are you sleeping?"

The door opens and Matty almost falls back with it but he catches himself. He looks up at Adam, tall and thin above him in a white t shirt and stripy pj bottoms, and smiles.

"You alright, mate?" he says, giving Matty a hand to grab to pull himself up.

"I'm sound," he says and follows Adam back into his room. Matty sits on the bed while Adam runs some water from the tap into a hotel owned glass for him. He joins him on the bed while Matty gulps it down and gasps after.

"You good?" Adam says, and Matty nods a heavy nod, eyes closed and then flops back on the end of the bed, long legs dangling over the edge of it.

"I think I need to sleep, Hann," he mumbles, "Sleep it off."

"Okay," Adam chuckles, and slides back under the covers, shoving his feet under Matty's head. Matty's mind has been spinning all night, thinking, talking to strangers, smoking, watching traffic, watching people make out in bars, laughing, dancing, moving. His heart beat, once wild, starts to slow. He takes notice of the quiet in the room. Of Adam's rhythmic breathing. Of the rise and fall of his own chest. And once again the thought he has been avoiding returns to him. Spotlighted. As if its the only thought in the entire world. The only thing that has and should have ever mattered to him.

"I'm going to be a dad," he mumbles.

Adam chuckles again, "Yup."

"I'm going to have a kid."

"That's usually how it works yeah."

"And she will be half me. And half her. Half perfection. Half chaos."

Adam laughs. "Doesn't sound too bad to me."

"It doesn't?" Matty says, rolling over towards him, crushing his feet in the process.

"No," he says, "You're alright, mate. We're fond of you. Your kid is going to be okay. Can I go to sleep now?"

"Yes," Matty says. "I'm gonna be such a shit dad."

"No, you're not."

"I am. You're all lying to me. Lying to me to make me feel better. How can I..." he gestures down at himself, his dishevelled shirt, his stained tie, "be a good father."

"You want me to tell you the truth, Matty?"

"Yes."

"Honestly?"

"Yes."

"If you keep acting the way you are. You probably are going to be a shit dad."

Matty is silent. A victim of his own game.

"Fuck you, man," he slurs.

"Look at you. You're off your face, sleeping on the bottom of your friend's bed, whining. I love you. I think you can be a good dad. But if you want to do this. If you really want to do this. Get your shit together mate."

"It's not that simple."

"It really is Matty, it really is."

[mondayrobot]

120-Day Fanfiction List (G)

A collection of my recommended Eren/Mikasa fanfictions for the first one-hundred and twenty days of the year.

Rating: General Audiences

a gilded world by infinitesimalll

The world was cruel. It was cold. Nearly everyday those words flowed through her mind, often accompanied by traumatic experiences.

All The Things Between You and Me by iRememberTheDark @irememberthedark

In most situations, Mikasa takes what she can get, especially where Eren, her...her...whatever he was to her, was concerned, and she was more than willing to let that pattern continue. Too bad life was so adept at kicking her out of her comfort zone.

"What am I to you?"

Mikasa asks a simple question and the world tilts.

Bad Idea by fevversinherhair

Like all bad ideas that passed between them, pretending to be dating at his brother's wedding was 100% Eren's.

Call out my name by Gcf_khaleesi

Ever since he brought her back into paths he knew that this would be the last time, he knew that he wasn't getting out of this what he was doing out there alive and she knew it as well.

canvas by orphan_account

there’s a familiarity in that question, the same one that comes along with the unspeakable way she smiles.

Cruel Decisions by solsun

The public now knows the truth of the outside world and who they are. The impending threat. No matter what, they must survive. Eren struggles with the colossal responsibility he believes he bears, the weight of an entire nation in his hands. He searches for a way to ground himself while keeping his principles intact.

demands by infinitesimalll

In all honesty, Eren hadn't expected Mikasa to take his offer after they had faced the titan who killed his mother and Hannes. It was something he said in the heat of the moment, when he was determined to survive.

for you, 2000 years later by aenar_thedragonlady

life seemed normal, as it always was but she wasn't aware of something, or rather, someone, who's been waiting for 2000 years.

fuel to my fire by aenar_thedragonlady

Being the princess of a powerful kingdom and with a legendary bloodline, Mikasa came to terms with how she was born and raised a conqueror in her father, family and kingdom's name. But when her conquest led her to Eren, a solitary king hidden in his domain far north in the mountains, she knew things could never go back to how they were.

Will she extinguish all the fires she never knew she had?

Or will she add more fuel to the flames?

ghost out of his grave by simplyhumann

At first glance, one might even think this is his glimpse of heaven. To come home to her in death, like how he always wanted to when he was alive.

It was anything but that. This was his punishment, Eren knew. To have a front row seat to the way he ruined the woman he once loved— no— still loves— and all the consequences that came after it.

hallucinating by enchantingoats

Mikasa knew it was undoubtedly her drug-addled subconscious longing for a second reunion with better odds.

Still, she wanted to touch him.

home by infinitesimalll

"in this world, i've got a place to go home to."

I’ll Take Care of You by Queenzie

When Mikasa falls sick, Eren decides that for once he needs to look after her.

Long Dream by wallmaria

“What am I to you?” Eren had suddenly said. Mikasa was again taken aback by his question. She looked at Eren’s face, there were no hints of shame when he said it, when he’s practically asking her to bare herself before him… She felt her heart pound loudly in her chest… She felt embarrassed to say the truth, but Eren also seemed to look distraught and expectant as Mikasa stammered.

not so strong after all by infinitesimalll

After a patrol in the freezing cold rain, humanity's second strongest has come down with the common cold.

Now and Forever by connectedfeelings @connectedfeelings

Waking up from a strange dream, Mikasa experiences odd visions throughout the day, all of a man and of a red scarf. Everyone leaves her with a strong sense of melancholy. Who is he? And why has he been in her mind all day? Perhaps she could ask him. Because his scarf just landed on her face, and she can't help but feel like the universe is telling her something.

New Year by Ilucida

The New Year celebration in Hizuru style was different.

remember a day we dreamt by Violea

Let's live the rest of our lives peacefully. Just the two of us.

return to me, the you of 2000 years ago by rilakkuma5 @uhhstar

Eternal return is a concept that the universe and all existence and energy has been recurring, and will continue to recur, in a self-similar form an infinite number of times across infinite time or space.

Simpler Times by wamomo

Three moments in which Eren doesn't regret leaving and one in which he does.

some place to be at peace by bacondestiny

He remembers the feeling of his head exploding off his body and the earth quaking before him under the weight of millions of titans on the march, remembers the awful ruin and the craters and the puddles and the charred remains as he crawled after them on hundreds of ribs--but all of that is so far away. It’s so far away that he’ll never see it again. All he can see is Mikasa, smiling up at him.

It doesn’t matter what’s flowing through his veins or lurking in his bones or rattling around in his head. What matters is what he has in his arms.

sparkling green by maketea @rosekasa

mikasa wakes up to find eren has done all the work for her.

The hellfire called love by septembersnotes

I hold us together, our lives, our pitiful youth, our days under the sun- shard by shard.

The Red String of Fate by hunnyB

Alone and defeated, Eren sighs and sinks back on the bench, eyes flickering up on Mikasa's seemingly frail frame as she sleeps soundlessly beneath the white bedsheets. He stares at the peacefulness transpiring through her face, glossed lips parted gently, raven hair splayed across the pillow, and thin long eyelashes casting shadows over her cheeks, giving off an extremely pleasant sight to lie eyes upon.

A sight that Eren has always had nearby but never sought, never once stopped to admire.

they are the prey by bacondestiny @inbothourhandsgloria

Eren does not want to be here.

It is sunny and warm and the birds are singing, today is the kind of day that should be spent running through the streets and splashing in the creek. He could be helping Mama with errands or Daddy with mixing medicines or Zeke with the goats. But no. Now he has to stand in this stupid line with Zeke so he can go to school. It’s terrible.

Through the Night by Diphy_D

It’s through the night when Eren’s mind doesn’t stop thinking while his hands don’t stop tracing the profile of the sleeping woman who rests at his side. The boy loses his faith and sinks alone.

And it’s through the night too when Mikasa's sweet touch calms his demons.

“We'll be free. The two of us, just wait”.

To You, 2000 Years From Now. by fetching

“You were dreaming again. What was it about?” He asks, smiling at her.

It takes a great effort not to cry.

This is it. This is home.

“Home,” She breathes. “I was dreaming about coming home.”

to you, at world’s end, a promise by AdelineVW7

She has never been one to sleep deeply, so Eren moves with deliberate gentleness. With only the tips of his fingers he caresses the dark hair splayed upon the pillow, all the while watching the rhythm of her breathing, the flitting movement of a dream beneath her eyelids.

viva la vida by zeninclan

"Mikasa, what am I to you?"

She looked down at him as the crowd watched them, standing face to face.

A soft blush spread across her skin as she stared back at him for a moment, wind pushing through their hair as they stood in silence. They had been friends since childhood. He knew everything about her, and she did the same for him.

"Family," was the answer she landed on. She cursed herself that night for not answering him honestly.

Since then, something had changed in Eren.

Warmth by ApplePapelProductions

His body, against yours. So close, so safe, the bite of the cold, the closeness of death, did not matter. Even in this fleeting moment, only to last a second, it meant more than the entire world. More than the remainders of humanity. More than the world beyond the walls. More than you could have ever imagined, no matter how many times you prayed for it to happen.

It would end soon. Maybe one day, he could tell you that he loved you, too. But until then, this was enough.

when you move I move with you by SapphireOcean

An unrequited crush comes back into Eren's life in an unusual way.

would have married you by enchantingoats

But truly it was beyond that. She was precious to him above all else, and though it was hard to put his finger on the feeling, this attachment, it had to be what they called love.

You can also check out: 2020 Eremika Fanfiction Masterlist

[demonicowgirl]

okay finished rule of wolves and i have THOUGHTS..... of which i have gathered..... like sheep i have herded them together. so no it's not coherent. spoilers under cut so abandon hope all ye who enter here

okay….. deadass…… i think my favorite point of view was from the darkling LIKE?!?!?! me before starting this book: HAHA THE DARKLING IS GOING TO DIE FOR THE SECOND TIME!!!!! GET REKT!!!!! me after: His first soldiers were dead now. Lovers, allies, countless kings and queens. Only he continued on. Eternity took practice, and he’d had plenty of it. The world had changed. War had changed. But he had not. but seriously he’s so dramatic and the shit is he says is like. unhinged. i had a blast

zoya deserves so much love and peace and i knew she’d end up queen but this was…. not how i expected it would be. but more thoughts on that down the list

how is jesper going to show up for approximately 14 pages and manage to be the funniest character in the entire book. like he’s got probably 50 lines and each one fucking hits HOW DOES HE DO IT

mayu’s chapters felt very unnecessary and i would’ve preferred to just not know how tamar’s mission in shu han is going until the khergud show up for their ride of rohirrim/knights of the vale moment. maybe leigh wrote it that originally and it just didn’t work? because i can definitely see how insane it would read like all we know about khergud is that they hunt grisha and then all of sudden they’re…. helping ravka?!?!? like it would be really hard to pull off but idk i think all of mayu’s chapters were just. kind of sloggy and the surprise would’ve been fun during the battle

sorry but i still don’t know what the fuck an airship looks like. or what the fjerdan naval base was supposed to look like. the tech in this universe is truly mind boggling

kaz brekker is so in love with inej ghafa. god they make me SICK

okay nina’s storyline…… this is my biggie……………… sigh. okay. nina’s storyline was my favorite part of king of scars and so i was really looking forward to seeing what would happen here. and for the most part i was having a great time!! i love her and hanne (more than i ever got into her and matthias) and i was so excited for jarl brum to finally fucking die. but then the last few chapters. i’m so……….. okay talking about hanne being a trans character (i’ll be using they/them pronouns because it doesn’t feel like a settled issue especially since they talk about not wanting to *be* rasmus, just his body). it makes so much sense for their character and i had HUUUUGE vibes all the way back in kos and i could see it coming here in row. but the way leigh handled their “transition” (???) is not good. like hanne had to kill a cis man and take on his identity to transition and that is such a bad handling i think??? who approved this. but also from a narrative standpoint it GETS WORSE?!?! like how the fuck is hanne gonna pretend to be a PRINCE… what will they do about the king and queen?? and nina remaining mila…… it honestly makes me really angry. that nina would turn her back on her country and friends and family for a LOVE INTEREST…… like her storyline has centered SO MUCH about how much she misses ravka, and in this duology even ketterdam!! like we all realize that when nina focuses on missing waffles or blini *those are symbolic stand-ins for her friends and it’s easier for her to talk about missing food than missing her friends*. like we all know that. and then in the end she says you know what i can PRETEND TO BE SOMEONE ELSE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE????? and not just a random fjerdan woman literally someone who will be QUEEN OF FJERDA ONE DAY. like an incredibly public position that will put mila under a ton of scrutiny… more than her identity was created for! and nina literally acknowledges that if they got the real mila jandersdat’s friends and neighbors to look at nina they’d know she was an impostor. so what is mila’s village gonna do when they hear mila jandersdat is apparently back from noyvi zem and now engaged to the prince???? i think leigh chose an ending that just doesn’t hold up narratively and logically. like i want nina to be happy and find love but why does it have to be…. not as nina.

my other big gripe is the politics and international implications of everything that’s going on like…… ravka is engaging in some CIA-backed-coups-in-latin-america levels of diplomacy. like fjerda is not just going to have a secret grisha impersonating their prince and eventual king one day, but their queen will ALSO be a secret grisha and RAVKAN SPY???? if nina was ever caught do you know the level of international scandal that would cause??? how the fuck could zoya even let her go off and do this??? it would absolutely be grounds for war and i thought zoya and everybody were TIRED of war. speaking of ravka’s government. guys we LITERALLY DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE A MONARCHY. like i was actually hoping zoya would become queen but like…. because she married nikolai. not because nikolai stepped down and she was appointed. like i was fine with the monarchy sticking around if they never even had a chance to contemplate alternatives but they literally say no………. we choose monarchy. besides the fact that the world is advancing and monarchies don’t last long in technologically advanced societies, zoya is going to have the most unstable reign because of the threat from the lantsovs. like nikolai’s parents are gonna go back to the southern colonies and just be like “our son ended our dynasty and put a grisha on our throne but that’s fine! we shouldn’t try to reinstate ourselves or anything.” demidov is fine with this??? he had a problem with nikolai being a lantsov pretender but zoya just starting her own monarchial dynasty gets no pushback??? like i know nobody wants to end the book/series on such a depressing note but like. a revolution and/or coup is staring zoya in the face. and yeah she’s the motherfucking dragon but um…… so was daenerys targaryen. and ultimately it really feels like the ending of game of thrones where a bunch of noblemen are gathered in one room and they’re like “we have the chance to change the course of our country forever so we will…….. START A NEW DYNASTY!” ….. HUH?!?!!? like when nikolai was like ravka will choose its leader! and the only people from ravka in the room are the landed gentry and peerage. like yeah ravka really got a say in this…. so no nikolai i actually don’t think the nazyalensky dynasty will last that long because with all the threats of being overthrown on LITERALLY ALL SIDES zoya may just decide to say fuck it and give the people democracy so it’s no longer her problem! or she just gets killed. so. anyways if the only known countries in this world are ruled by either 1. monarchies (fjerda, ravka, shu han) or 2. plutocracy (kerch) i can see why literally fucking everybody is moving to noyvi zem. like jesus i would too!

genya deserves so much better she has suffered so much and i know leigh needed to make the war have personal consequences BUT DOES SHE HAVE TO HURT GENYA IN THE PROCESS???? like she just doesn’t get a break. anyways i hope she retires from the triurmvirate and goes to live with alina and mal in keramzin because you know what. they were right. they were right to turn their back on literally everything to do with ravkan politics. genya go join them pls

zoya’s expression of grief and mourning… yeah. yeah that one hurt.

i know everybody’s talking about the potential of soc3 but actually i don’t want that! let the crows be in peace in ketterdam!!!! their biggest threats should be like. getting shanked in the barrel not whatever the fuck zoya will put them through. i hope kaz just ignores her letters and when the Queen of Ravka personally comes to his doorstep he reiterates that he’s RETIRED. and when zoya tries to pull the inej card she pops out from behind kaz and says “i’m on vacation with my boyfriend. we’re good!” LET THEM REST!!!!!!!

so yes these are my thoughts not all of them but many of them. i still really enjoyed it and think it was waaaay better than king of scars (not as good as soc & ck though <3). the problem is that the ending definitely colors your view of everything that's happened and if you don't like the ending... well. it's not even that i didn't like the entirety of the ending i mostly just hated nina's and the implications of zoya's. do not mistake me for a darkling fangirl!!!! anyways the writing in this was really good too and there were more moments that just HIT ME than in kos, which i think i just sort.... breezed through without getting hit in the face by a brick of a line. but this one has so many moments especially in zoya and the darkling's chapters that i'm just like OH!!!!! so that is why i leave you with this:

"Zoya, do you know why the Darkling lost the civil war? How Alina stopped him?" Zoya pinched the bridge of her nose. "No. I wish I did." "Because he always fought alone. He let his power isolate him. Alina had us. You have us. You push us away, keep us at arm's distance so that you won't mourn us. But you'll mourn us anyway. That's the way love works."

[genyyasafin]

Oh boy I am going to rant now hjfhdsk

Okay so: I actually liked it??? Like, it kept my attention in a way that's pretty rare 😭 usually I read a few pages of a book and then my mind wanders off and I give up so I have to recognize and appreciate the fact that row didn't do that- I think, putting plot and personal grievances aside, it was actually a well written book

That said...

Bruh. BRUH. None of the storylines started in king of scars were continued in a... let's say, BELIEVABLE manner. Half of them were abandoned without any reason, a select few turned up for half a page, AND THE MAJOR CONFLICT OF THE BOOK???? ENDED BECAUSE OF ONE APPEARANCE FROM A DRAGON????

The lack of action was... I wouldn't say disappointing because I didn't really want to have to read through that considering how much of a mental toll it'd take on me khjfgdskf but. It is a war. It is a war. And yet, nothing really happened.

We got to see a cameo from the crows, which on the one hand: YAYY!!! On the other: take it out of the book and with a few adjustments it'd be exactly the same

Looking back on it I actually think the Shu Han storyline was pretty interesting- while I was reading it I was irritated by the fact that way too many POVs were being followed at the same time dkshfgkd but ya know what that was kinda dumb because that was one part of the story I don't think can be criticized

And then: Nina's POV. Okay, so right off the bat, I am so grateful to see her returned to herself. KoS's characterization of her was quite frankly hard to read. But that said, it doesn't really make sense???? Nina, a die hard Ravkan, decides to stay in a country that even with Matthias she hated??? She's separated from the rest of her spy friends but somehow she still has enough influence to basically change the views of almost an entire country?????

The Darkling's return was terrible. It was just. terrible okay because I know that its given plenty of his stans reason to argue that "look, he isn't all that bad!!" not to mention, he was just... there for the entire book??? Did literally nothing up till the end????

Honestly speaking, about the whole book, the tension from KOS just didn't translate. I don't actually remember feeling that the characters were in serious trouble at any point. It didn't even feel like there was a war going on.

So yeah, rule of wolves was entertaining, but it could've been done so much better

Feel free to disagree with literally all my points sddjkgsdfhgsdkfh but listen I needed to get them off my chest sob

Also I seriously need to know what you think!

Ok I agree with all of this. Your thoughts are A+. My issue with the Crows is that they seemed overpowered, especially Kaz. Like... without Inej there he shouldn’t be able to know half as much as he does. My personal opinion was that it was extremely enjoyable but objectively terrible.

I think that EVERYTHING was good or *could* have worked but wasn’t carried out well. There were SO MANY different perspectives which would have been fine if they tied into the main storylines more? Like the Shu stuff tied into Nikolai’s work but the Darkling stuff was kinda separate?? Which just made it exhausting to follow. Especially since something really dramatic would happen and then it would cut POVs.

Yea!!!! I love Nina and Hanne but like.... they’re both stuck pretending to be people they aren’t and they both deserve better. Nina should’ve become like.... the Ravkan diplomat to Fjerda, something that would let her come and go and stuff. Idk.

I have more thoughts but like they aren’t available now so wanna ask me questions about it?

[casualcatte]

[ RP Journal ] 11/01/2020

The beast is dead.

My only problem?  It’s the wrong beast. Or, perhaps, not necessarily the wrong beast, but an offspring of the beast that I seek. There’s a part of me that’s disappointed, the part of me that was looking forward to this life-long hunt finally coming to an end. There’s another part of me that is still glad that we killed it, given that it’s another monstrosity like its parent. No doubt it has terrorized Coerthas and the Dravanian Forelands and Twelve only knows how much farther it might range from its place in Dusk Vigil. It was so disturbing even the ghosts there were bothered by it. So, the ending is somewhat bittersweet.

It means that the /real/ Saurotaun is out there still and, given what we saw of her offspring, she’ll be bigger and badder than what we fought and that took just about everything the six of us had: me, Edgard Beaumont, Rae-Hann, Siannault Tavard, and the Twins, V’hala Helsi and V’ari Tia. Ari required major healing as I understand it, enough to make his sister worry about him dying. Siannault suffered some manner of injury. Edgard suffered aether sickness and injuries of his own. Rae-Hann is the only one of us that escaped unscathed, at least, insofar as I know. I don’t really know what that expenditure of aether costs him, so far from home.

While our plan was decent enough and accomplished the job, we’ll need a better idea than what we had to defeat the mother. It’s a daunting proposition. Like I discussed with Rae-Hann and V’hala tonight when they came to check on me, it’s stupid to expect my friends to just sit on the sidelines while I pursue this. They’ll come anyway, regardless of my wishes. A simultaneously endearing and aggravating trait. I love each of them like family and putting them in danger yet again is the last thing I want to do.

Once Rae-Hann left us, V’hala took that as an opportunity to try and explain to me the problem she has with this Fraun, Frond, Fonz… whatever his name is. This man that she’s pretty much an indentured servant to. She tried to warn me that the man was dangerous and somehow connected to the anti-dragon movement that Edgard’s former brother-in-law by Valentina. I assured her that people don’t tend to frighten me.  I’m a monster-hunter by trade.  I know what /real/ monsters look like. People just make vague attempts at it. She told me she had a plan to extricate herself from his control, but it would require someone willing to commit a few acts of underhandedness. I told her I would try and find someone that fit the bill, though no one immediately came to mind.

After Hala left, my first thought was to ask some of the folks over at the Night Raid. Knowing a few of them to be night owls like myself, I went over on the off-chance I might come across someone. Indeed, I did, none other than Nan’to Vaadrage himself. He seemed surprised to see me, which I suppose he had a right to. It’s rare that I go by the Night Raid office when it’s not a Bounty Call night -- something I should really remedy. I spoke with Nan’to briefly about my inquiry for a capable rogue and he seemed to get this mischievous look in his eye about the questionable legality of it all. He said that the Night Raid could possibly provide such a service as Hala needed, but that I would have to discuss the matter with Tetsuro Wulf. In a matter of minutes, Nan’to hashed it out via Tetsuro on his linkpearl, offering me an opening in the kitsune’s schedule a week from now, less a day, in the later evening. I told him I’d have to discuss it with Hala and get back to him.

With the matter dealt with for the time being, Nan’to invited me inside to have some juice since I looked pale and exhausted to him -- it’s fine, since I /felt/ pale and exhausted. Once we were settled in the lounge area I asked after his mode of dress.  Nan’to was in a suit and slacks tonight; I’ve never seen him in anything but Eastern clothing. It was a change, to say the least, not that he looked bad in them. He looked quite fine, honestly. He said he’d gone out to a fancy restaurant and wanted to look the part, I told him that he certainly did.  I don’t doubt that he turned a few heads while he was there.

As we chatted, E’nijah Suzume came in from whatever nocturnal activities he’d been up to and stopped in to say hello to us. I almost feel bad for Edgard, he always has to miss these moments when E’nijah relaxes just the tiniest bit and actually converses. Granted, I know Edgard usually doesn’t let anyone get a word in, but still -- he’ll be upset at another missed opportunity.

The conversation that I had with E’nijah was… both frightening and enlightening. Apparently, I’d done more damage to my aether in the fight against the baby Saurotaun than I realized. According to E’nijah there was aether within me that wasn’t mine, likely more of the excess aether I’d taken from the firmament when I killed the baby Saurotaun, like Rae-Hann had siphoned off from me. Some of it still lingered and was causing some manner of damage to my own aether that threatened to turn me into some creature from the void.

Gods, I’m glad that Edgard /wasn’t/ around to hear any of this. He’d likely be beside himself trying to find someone to help. As it stands, E’nijah and Nan’to both said that their own healers within the Night Raid would be able to help, specifically L’amp Tia and M’yhe Tia. I know both of them, not as well as I do Nan’to or some of the others, but I’ve enough familiarity with L’amp’s expertise as a healer and if E’nijah and Nan’to both recommend M’yhe without hesitation, then I have no reason not to trust him as well.

E’nijah advised finding some manner of potion or restorative to hold my aether stable until the healers can see to me. I plan to go see Raisan Arcmantle at the Shroudrose Teahouse tomorrow to try and discuss that particular matter with him.  With that decided, Nan’to gently insisted in his typically Nan’to way that I stay at the Night Raid HQ until he could be assured that I wasn’t going to turn into something foul. I have to admit, it’s kind of endearing how he and E’nijah both care in their own ways. I think that’s part of the reason that I never hesitate to come here.

That said, I’m settled into an inn room at the Carline Canopy as I write this, so I ought to get to bed so I can see Arcmantle on the morrow.  After that, it’s back to Shirogane and the watchful eye of Toto until I can get seen by the healers.

Right after I linkpearl Edgard and let him know that E’nijah wishes him well and hopes for his swift return.  Maybe not /exactly/ the words E’nijah used, but it will cheer my Ardiot up immensely. Tumblr Mentions @therpperson​ for Edgard Beaumont @yokasaris​ for Rae-Hann @tavard-ffxiv​ for Siannault Tavard @nightraid-hq​ for the Night Raid Bounty Call and various <NRAID>ers @tetsuro-wulf​ for Tetsuro Wulf @a-little-sun​ for E’nijah Suzume @tea-ffxiv​ for the Shroudrose Teahouse

[k-writesthings]

Moblit x Reader: Heartbeat

This was requested by @lonelypalmtree !!

Also, I’m playing around with different formats for my one-shots because I can’t decide how I want them to look, I apologize if it’s jarring to look at. 

Warnings: The reader’s character is kind of an asshole to the 104th kids (I didn’t mean for this to happen, but it did??) 

**Also I should probably specify that Hange uses she/her pronouns when I write for her unless specifically noted otherwise

Word count: 2194  

    It’s funny how quickly life can change. It could be the best, most victorious day ever, and then thirty seconds later everything goes to shit. 

   That’s what the last two days seemed like to (Y/N), at least.

   First, it was Utgard Castle, where she had been the only survivor of Squad Mike. She lost all her closest comrades, and as far as she knew, Squad Leader Mike as well. But the rest of the Scouts came to the rescue, cutting down the offending Titans in a frantic flurry of blades and steaming blood. It was where she reunited with Moblit, her longtime partner. They made it back to Wall Rose before the next surprise came in the form of the Armoured and Colossal Titan hiding within the ranks of the Survey Corps. 

-

   “C’mon Eren! Tear the bastard’s head off!”  (Y/N) screamed, her voice in perfect harmony with the similar sentiments being volleyed at the grappling Titans below them. The Scouts had descended down the wall, hanging from their hooks as they cheered Eren on. As sick as it may sound, she enjoyed this sight. This was justice. 

   These kids, no, these devils were responsible for the deaths of thousands. They deserved to get their heads ripped off a hundred times over, but once would do if Eren managed to kill Reiner in the process. And from the looks of the splintering shell on the Armoured Titan’s back, I’d say he is about to succeed. Eren’s Titan had Reiner’s in a tight hold, and it was clear Reiner knew he was done for. He even quit struggling. 

  Eren’s got him! (Y/N) thought, a small ghost of a smile being pulled to her lips, despite all she’d seen in that last 24 hours. She tossed a glance over to Moblit, who was by Hange’s side (as always). His face was calm, but even from her distance, she could see the fire in his eyes. It was the same intelligent, calculating burn that drew her in so long ago. Honestly, (Y/N) wanted nothing more than to go over there, kiss him, hold him close to her, and feel safe. That wasn’t appropriate, of course. They were under strict orders (from Big Boss Eyebrows) to keep their relationship professional while in the field, and so far they hadn’t slipped up in that area. But it didn’t stop (Y/N) from appreciating her lover thoroughly from afar. And she planned on showing him just how much she missed him as soon as they got back, no matter how much she was grieving the loss of her squad.

   She was pulled from her rather unprofessional thoughts by an ear-splitting roar, followed by-

   “Above you! Look out!” 

  (Y/N) had just enough time to see the decomposing Colossal Titan plummeting towards the two Titans before a whip of singeing steam hit the Scouts on the wall like a racehorse. Eyes squeezed shut, she yanked her cloak over her face and turned to face the wall in an attempt to avoid breathing in the burning steam. The gust of steam whipped her hair around, and she could feel the telltale burning on the back of her head. Screams of pain echoed out around her, and the thud of Titan-sized footfalls told her that the Armoured and Colossal were getting away, likely with Eren in tow. And while she wanted to stop them, her face and lungs felt like they were on fire, which prevented her from doing much of anything except press herself against the wall and breathe slowly. 

   As the steam dissipated (mostly pouring out of the three Titan bodies as they disappeared), (Y/N) dared to turn around and look for her fellow Scouts on the wall. The skin on her cheeks felt white-hot, as did her throat. It was likely she had a first degree steam burn on her face, and she was pretty far away from the Colossal as it fell. Hange and Moblit were much closer and likely much worse off than she was, especially given that the jet of steam was probably enough to knock them back.  She felt her chest tighten as her eyes scanned for them. 

   Her eyes found multiple other soldiers before her gaze landed on their familiar faces. Two Garrison soldiers were carrying them up the wall on ODM Gear. 

   They were both entirely unconscious. 

   “Scout, you alright?” A voice called down to her from a ways above her. He was a blond Garrison soldier, and she believed his name was Hannes. 

   “Yes.” Her voice was raspy from the burns in her throat. “I’m alright.” 

   “Great, take this one.” He gestured down to the girl in his arms. She was a new recruit, friends with Eren, named Mikasa. “Her friend is up there, a small kid named Armin.”

   (Y/N) unhooked and scaled the wall until she was up next to Hannes. He handed her Mikasa’s unconscious body and nodded curtly before going to help get other Scouts still dangling from their gear like an old button dangles from a shirt. 

   Great. All I wanted to do was find Moblit and make sure he was alright. Now I’m stuck being a pack animal? (Y/N) thought, scoffing slightly as she repositioned Mikasa so her head was resting against (Y/N)’s sternum (which was awkward given she had to work around her ODM Gear). Mikasa was also oddly heavy for a girl of her age, making the older woman strain a bit against the weight as she shot her hooks to the top of the wall. 

   She landed heavily, right in front of a small blonde boy.

   “You Armin?” She asked quickly, trying to seem concerned when all she really cared about was whether or not Moblit was okay. The boy looked at her with large, blue eyes (that seemed rather fraught with terror), nodded, and asked, “Will she be alright?”

   “Yeah, just a concussion, most likely. Don’t worry, kid.” She told him, setting Mikasa down gently before she took off to look for the man she loved.   

-

  (Y/N) found them not thirty seconds later as they were being carried into a line with the rest of the wounded. Some Garrison soldiers were walking away from them and gave her a short analysis of their burns and possible concussions. Nothing life-threatening, they said. But, as (Y/N) approached them and the full extent of their injuries were revealed, her heart still dropped. Hange was much worse off, her face covered in angry, red steam burns. She also had a bad bump on her head, where she seemed to have hit it when the hot air blew her back against the wall. Moblit, on the other hand, was far less burned, but he also hit his head when the Colossal fell.

   And while they both were breathing and would likely recover, (Y/N) couldn’t help but blanch and feel her pain fester as she looked at their faces.

   She approached the two carefully and sat down next to Moblit, grasping his warm hand in her own. Though she should’ve been concerned about his burns, (Y/N) couldn’t help but notice he was still just as attractive as he had been, maybe just a little more red and scuffed up. His usually perfect hair was a complete mess, which made the equally messy woman smile and run a hand through it affectionately. She really didn’t care if people saw her with Moblit. After the day she had, Erwin could go fuck himself if she got reported and he decided to write her up.

   She stroked his hair, trailed her hand down to the back of his neck, and let her hand come to rest on his chest. The muscles under his shirt flexed involuntarily as (Y/N) attempted to find his heartbeat. There had been many nights when she had woken up panic-stricken from a nightmare; sweating; breathing heavily; crying. And the first time this happened in front of Moblit, he pulled her shaken body to his chest, placed her ear over his heart, and traced shapes on her back until she calmed down enough to go back to sleep. His heartbeat was like a drug for her, calming her when she was at her worst. And even if she couldn’t be pulled into his arms she could feel the steady thrum of his heart. 

   But, just as she found the rhythm, Moblit’s eyelids began to flutter and raise just a bit.

   “Moblit?” (Y/N) whispered, her hand coming up to cup his face carefully, avoiding the raw, burnt flesh. Moblit’s hazel eyes met hers and suddenly lit up in recognition.

   “(Y/N)?” His voice was just as raspy as hers, and he tried to sit up to embrace her. She kept a hand on his chest to keep him from moving and disturbing his head.

   “Don’t sit up. You hit your head pretty hard.” (Y/N) soothed him like she would a small child. Moblit frowned at the rejection before he realized what she said.

   “Wait- hit my head? What happened?” He asked her.

   She explained to him as best she could, squeezing his hand that was still clasped in hers. “...And Hange is still out. We don’t know the full extent of her injuries, but she’s doing worse than you.” 

   “Hange…?” Moblit’s face fell as he glanced over and saw Hange’s body next to his own. 

   “Hey,” (Y/N) directed his attention back to her. “She’ll be fine. There’s no internal bleeding that they could see. We sent a team ahead to get supplies and organize for the badly injured to go back to Trost. The rest of us are going after Eren. But for now,” She leaned just over his face as he looked up at her with wide eyes. Her voice dropped back down to a whisper and she murmured, “I’m just glad you’re alive.”

   Their lips connected slowly, gently. Like they were scared to break the other. But, gradually the kiss grew more passionate and aggressive as their bottled emotions exploded forth. (Y/N) could practically taste the pain, relief, and heartache on his tongue as it slipped into her mouth. She laid down on his chest, wanting to feel as much of him as possible. Her hands found their way into his hair, nails scratching the skin just behind his ears. His hands roamed her back and eventually made their way to her face. He attempted to grip her face like he usually did during one of their make-out sessions, but the fresh burns on her face screamed in protest against the rough skin of his palms, causing her to grunt and pull away quickly. 

  “(Y/N)? Are you okay? Did I hurt you?” Moblit asked, propping himself up on his elbows. The sudden change in the elevation of his head caused him to grunt as well. (Y/N) sprung forward, cheeks still stinging, and helped him lower himself back down. “Thanks,” he groaned. “But seriously, are you hurt?” 

   She chuckled a bit and stroked his forehead. “Yes, I was burnt, it’s nothing you did. My cheeks are still tender, that’s all.”

   “Ah, well, I’m sorry for not realizing. I’ll be more careful next-,” She accepted his apology by pressing her lips against his again. Her lover smiled into the kiss and opted to tangle his hands in her hair this time.

   It was as if they weren’t on the wall, for a moment. They were somewhere secluded, warm, dark, and safe. Death and danger were far away from them, and so was-

   “Haha! I’ve never seen you two do this on the field before!”

   Hange.

   (Y/N) broke away from Moblit and tossed an annoyed look to the crazy woman as she watched them. “Glad to see you’re awake, Hange.” She grumbled.

   “I am awake! And I feel like shit.” Hange confirmed, cradling her head with an equally burnt hand. 

   “I’m not surprised. After the Colossal fell, it released such a strong jet of steam that it scorched all of the Scouts on the wall.” Moblit told her, turning his head away from (Y/N).

   Hange simply groaned in acknowledgement and closed her eyes, seemingly falling asleep to escape her pain.

   “What are we going to do with her, (Y/N)?” 

   “I don’t know, Moblit. I don’t know.” 

-

(Small little bonus because I like to pretend to be funny):

-A week later-

   “(Y/N)? Would you join me in my office for a moment?”

   “Sure Erwin, what’s up?”

   “I’m filling out a mission log for last week and it appears that there was a report filed that you and Moblit “fornicated in the field”. Care to explain?”

   “Who wrote that report?”

   “I’m not at liberty to say.”

   “It was Hange, wasn’t it?”

   “Yes. Yes, it was.”

   “Where’s Levi? I need help to kick her ass.”

(Well, that was fun! I don’t know why this one took me so long, but here we are. I’m thinking my next one-shot might be more self-indulgent bs, but I do have requests to write as well... Anyway, speaking of requests, they are still open. I’m kinda down for anything, so just go for it I guess!)

[ultimaa]

OFFSIDE

Two shot

PART I

Summary: "You’re young, attractive and rich, but Martinique stands between you and the love of your life. Damn, I'm happy I'm not you."

Eren had two sacred rules during his holidays: no football, no social media and no England. These purposes involved moving a thousand kilometers from his apartment in Liverpool to enjoy a peaceful summer in his native Shigansina, a small town in southern Germany where everyone knew each other. There he was simply Dr. Grisha's boy. "Really? Come on, man, go to French Polynesia or Dubai," his partner Connie Springer said. "Shigan-what? Okay, don't mind me. I’m sure parties are great in your town..." Honestly, Eren spent his days off sleeping and playing video games. Sometimes he jogged — after all, he earned his salary thanks to his body — and drunk HB beer, but what he liked most was the feeling of making up for lost time. He loved football and played in one of the best clubs in the world, history would seat him at the same table as Ian Rush, Michael Owen or Steven Gerrard. He loved Anfield, but he was too young when he said goodbye to the field of earth soccer and was taken to Melwood, where his parents visited him once a month. At the age of twenty-six, with a brilliant career, Eren Jaeger returned to Germany like an elephant going to die in a cave, with his family, and then repeated the cycle of nostalgia. However, that year would be different.

The Jaeger couple celebrated their 25th anniversary and they organized a small party with relatives and close friends. Only Eren Kruger, best man, who was in a submarine five thousand meters deep, was absent. As for the others, they all attended: Zeke and Pieck, who had come from Berlin, Aunt Faye, Keith Shadis (Eren’s Godfather), Tom Xaver (Zeke’s Godfather), Hannes, Armin and his grandfather, Kuchel Ackerman (bridesmaid), Kenny Ackerman (usher) and Levi Ackerman. Grisha did not like parties, but Carla settled the discussion with a resounding statement: "Silver anniversary aren’t celebrated every day, darling."

While Hannes, old Arlet, Pieck and Kuchel made a beef stew and the couple danced to the sound of Wiener Blut in the sitting room, Eren opened a bottle of beer and toasted with Armin and Zeke.

"You’re the only one, brother," Zeke pointed out. "You’ll retire bachelor. With ten Golden Balls, but a bachelor."

"The golden bachelor," Eren corrected. "Hey, Armin, you're single too."

"Annie and I are taking some time." His best friend shrugged.

Zeke laughed. He was a cardiologist. "I understand the heart much better than you... in all aspects," he used to say. And it was probably true: he was married to Pieck and the ring did not bother him yet.

"Really? She has been in Australia for two months. Do you know how long Australians last in bed, huh? About seventeen minutes, behind only the Americans, the Canadians and the English. As for the Germans, only eight percent have participated in a trio. If I were you, I'd start to worry."

"Did you just tell me I'm a bad lover?"

"No. Statistics, Armin. Information."

"This dude is like that." Eren took a sip. "He throw the stone and hides the hand."

"I have no interest in offending the virility of the Germans. I'm German, in case you haven't noticed. Siegfried is my grandfather and every Friday I go drinking with Wagner, but not all women know how to appreciate the Central European charm. Also, Melbourne is one of the best cities to live."

"Annie is in Sydney."

"See? That's precisely the problem." Zeke finished his beer and put a hand on Arlet's shoulder. "You know exactly where she is, but does she remember you? When a woman puts fifteen thousand kilometers between her and her partner, she only has one goal: to forget. And while she builds her new beginning, you water her plants."

"I still wonder how you seduced Pieck," Eren said. "Did you take her to dinner with Kaiser Wilhelm and Angela Merkel?"

"Actually, she won me. Well, I fell into the trap. I thought I could escape later. I was wrong and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I ain’t immune to women either."

Zeke showed a wide smile. He was blond and had a magnificent bearing. When the waltz was over, he congratulated Grisha and gave him a beer. Then he hugged Carla and cleared his voice. They all looked at him.

"This woman you see here is suicidal: marrying a Jaeger is dangerous, but marrying a divorced Jaeger with a child is deadly. The first time I saw her I was seven years old and I thought: Will she be like Miss Rottenmeier? No, thanks to God. I had always been Ezekiel, but she started calling me Zeke and that's how my friends, my coworkers and my wife call me. In a way, he baptized me. She ain’t my father's wife or my stepmother. Sorry, Eren; Being an only child is wonderful, but she’s also my mother and I would like us to toast her, the woman who brought us together here today. Cheers! Who’s in charge of the music? Auntie, put Spring’s Voices on. Eren and I are gonna dance."

"Wonderful idea." Armin laughed. "Football? As Martha Graham said, dance is the hidden language of the soul."

"You bastards." Eren took his brother's hand.

"Don't step on my shoes."

Among the music and the wild laughter of Kenny and Hannes, Eren did not realize what was about to happen. No clairvoyant would have guessed it. He looked sideways and saw her appear: black hair, aviator sunglasses, and a cigarette between her lips. White rolled-up shirt, capri pants and strappy sandals. He lost concentration and Zeke roared with laughter. He knew, of course. The last time he saw her was on the eve of her trip to Martinique, where she had spent the past year. The waltz ended and they both bowed. Eren did not want to raise the head. Why had no one warned him?

"Levi told me she came back last night," Zeke whispered.

Eren did not even hear the applause. He quickly returned to Armin, who was chatting with Keith Shadis, a retired military man, about the Ardennes Counteroffensive and the Nuremberg Trials. "I am almost sure," said his friend, a historian, "that Franz von Papen died in '69."

"Mikasa is here," Eren hissed.

"I know," he nodded, "and I'm gonna greet her, she's my lifelong friend and I'm glad to see her. You should do the same. Don't think about what happened."

"Did you know? Armin!"

His friend approached her. Great. Eren slipped out into the garden with a couple of beer cans and sat down on a wooden bench. Pretend you don't care, he thought. It belongs to the past, that's it! Fuck! You have to call it by its name: pain. Before she left, they drank like a fish and ended up going to bed. That was last summer. They had not spoken about it since then. He could already hear wise and eminent Zeke Jaeger’s voice: "So you haven’t had a girlfriend since Christ was crucified, but you shag with your best friend. Da ya need to talk, Eren?" Shit! Maybe he needed to tell someone how much her decision to go to Martinique hurt when he declared her love. She had a degree in Arts, so she was offered to do a study about Paul Gauguin, who spent a time on the island. So Zeke would say: "The Caribbean? I'm sorry, brother, I'm so sorry. You and Armin can cry together."

Eren was in love with her. It is one of those truths that one understands with a broken heart. And this led him to reject the insinuations of several, too many women in recent months. There were rumors that he was gay.

"Look who's here: Reds’ Hunter," Mikasa greeted him. "Can I sit?"

"You can do whatever you want." Eren was not angry, but a little drunk. He scratched his right arm; Delacroix's Liberty was tattooed from shoulder to elbow; Lower down, on the forearm, Goya’s Colossus collapses the Berlin Wall. On the inside of the doll, an M. Again, he could hear his brother's voice calling him an idiot.

Mikasa sat next to him. Her skin was not as pale as before: Caribbean tan. The serious mouth was the same and the gray eyes had not changed. She had a fine scar on her right cheek.

"Congratulations on winning the Premier."

"Yeah, well, first in Liverpool's history." Eren groaned. "How did it go with Gauguin?"

"Excellently. Van Gogh said that Gauguin didn’t paint with the brush, but with the phallus. However, mayby he didn’t die of syphilis..."

"Are you kidding me? Do you congratulate me on the championship and talk about Gauguin's cock?" He let out a sardonic laugh. "If that's all you have to tell me after all this time..."

"This is neither the time nor the place".

"I don’t care. We fucked, Mikasa."

"I know. I was there."

"Really? Because sometimes I think about it and it seems a mirage. You've been avoiging the matter a whole year, a fucking year. You show up at my parents' party like nothing's wrong and talking about fucking Gauguin." Eren paused. "Annie is in Australia. Do you know how long Australians last in bed? Seventeen minutes. How long do Martinicans last?"

"I know what you're implying," Mikasa said seriously, "and you're wrong, Eren. You’re very wrong. Do you think I would be able to do that after sleeping with you?"

Carla Jaeger interrupted them; the meal was ready. They were not hungry, but an inexplicable feeling oppressed them: Eren's blood boiled; Mikasa's was frozen.

"When you want us to talk as adults, let me know," she said.

Adults! Eren said nothing. He sat between Zeke and Armin, who gave him a questioning look. Eren sighed and started eating. He remained oblivious to all the conversations, sharing looks with Mikasa, sitting next to her uncle Kenny. One year had passed and perhaps he was angry, but he winked al her. She smiled and caught the kiss Eren discreetly sent her, and showed her thumb.

"Okay," Zeke said, after wiping his mouth with a napkin. "Have I ever told you about friendship between men and women? No, because it’s impossible. Were you and Annie ever friends, Armin?"

"Huh… Yeah?"

"No. You wanted to have sex, but you didn't tell her."

"I know you know," Eren whispered.

"I’ve known for a long time. In fact, I knew it before you did, bro. You were like Heidi and Peter, and now, if you were alone, this would become ​Nine and a half Weeks.

For Zeke it was too obvious, but what about the others? Eren looked at them closely. They talked about politics, football, past... Levi was the only one who remained silent. He was not a very talkative man, unlike his mother and uncle. Kuchel and Kenny talked and laughed like no one else. As for Mikasa, whose premature orphanhood led her to grow up with them, her character was soft; silent, good listener and without his cousin’s curtness. Did she tell someone what happened? Maybe Sasha Braus? After the meal, Eren felt adult enough.

The whole evening passed pleasant between anecdotes and skat hands. Keith Shadis left around six in the afternoon; He had to return to Munich for work. As for the others, Carla insisted that they stay for dinner. While Grisha and Zeke had a scholarly conversation about the latest advances in medicine, Kenny was laughing loudly with Mikasa by his side.

"I never imagined that we would have an artist in the family."

"I'm an art historian," Mikasa pointed out.

"If God doesn’t give you children, Devil gives you nephews." Kenny lit a cigarette. "Ackermans have always been country people. Levi was the first to go to university; He was already a whiz since childhood. Fortunately, Mikasa followed suit.

"What is Martinique like?" Carla asked.

"Quiet. When it rains, goodbye internet and light, and of course I have to mention mosquitoes, humidity, heat and earthquakes," she paused, "but people are lovely and the landscapes are spectacular. They are exactly like on postcards. Oh, and the accra is very good."

"We could go on vacation, honey." Zeke looked at Pieck. "I'm tired of Sardinia."

"But you have to be careful with snakes," Mikasa continued, smiling. "I was bitten by a eyelash viper. Nothing serious, but I wouldn’t repeat the experience."

"One year has been enough, hasn't it?" Eren, who was playing cards with Armin, had his ears set on the conversation.

"Yes. For now I will stay here I’ll go to Munich in September to work at the Alte Pinakothek."

"It's fantastic," said Armin.

"And you’ll be close," added Kuchel.

So Munich. However, Mikasa commented on the possibility of another trip. She specialized in Impressionism and did not rule out settling in France. After dinner, when it was time to say goodbye, Eren pulled out his cell phone and wrote her a message: "Do you wanna talk?" She looked sidelong at him and replied, "Come home tomorrow. We will be alone." Jaeger thought about that last one; He smiled, pleased, and quickly typed, "Good."

They all left except for Zeke and Pieck, who would spend a few days in the village before returning to Berlin. It was like going back fifteen years ago, when they still crowd around under one ceiling. Carla loved having them all there. Her good character led her to have an excellent relationship with her daughter-in-law. Grisha was pleased with the situation; He played chess with Zeke for hours, in total silence. Eren used to watch them, attentive to the gestures, wondering how they could drag on a duel that long. And it all ended with one word: "Checkmate."

Zeke followed him into the garden with a cigarette on the lips. He had tried to stop smoking, but there are things a man can never give up, like mentholated Camel.

"You don't smoke, do you? What a pity. One or two cigarettes once in a while doesn't hurt anyone, Mr. Perfect Abs." Zeke blew out the smoke. "Munich. A wonderful city, especially in October."

"We’re gonna talk tomorrow."

"One day I take a look at the yellow press and I see you with Historia Reiss, and I think you're a lucky bastard. You’re young, attractive and rich, but Martinique stands between you and the love of your life. Damn, I’m happy I’m not you."

"I love you too." Eren frowned.

"I’m trying to help you. Don't screw it up, okay? A bad step now and you will regret it all your life." His brother clapped him on the back. "Now If you can excuse me, I'm going to make love to my wife in my fifteen-year-old room."

"I didn't need to know that."

…

Having the house to herself, Mikasa went down to have black tea. Frugal breakfast, as always. She felt like an intruder in her own town and jet lag was not benevolent. She wanted to stay in bed, she’s just got ants in her pants. She did push-ups and thought about the last exhausting year. Operation Gauguin, as she called it, had been a true odyssey. Fuck the Caribbean. She had missed Europe, her family and friends, but duty is duty. As for Eren, she could not reproach him for anything. He was angry. She should not have slept with him before she left; Mikasa kept thinking about it for a moment. Secrets and sex are a bad combination for consciousness. Besides, she left without saying goodbye. She behaved like a real motherfucker and would do it again: sentimentality is not advisable before a possible trip with no return. No, she couldn't listen to Eren's feelings before getting on the plane. Deep down, she suffered from the greatest weakness: love.

She lay down on the floor and closed his eyes. God, the cold slabs were nicer than any bed in the Caribbean. The woman forgot the physical and mental exhaustion when Eren touched the knocker. She took a breath and decided to improvise. The first thing Mikasa noticed was Dior's perfume. He was wearing an unbuttoned black polo shirt, gray jeans, and deck shoes. The three-day beard and dapper cut fit him very well. Those tropical eyes ... Shit!

Silence. Glances. It was inevitable. Eren closed the door behind him and received her kiss in a frenzy. Mikasa bit his lips, tugged at his hair. The man held her prisoner in his arms, sliding his hands down her back, her hips and her neck, anxious and needy. Their mouths were lost in each other's. Eren threw his head back and went deeper, searching for lost time. He licked her lips from corner to corner. The touch of tongues was deadly like a sword dance. They parted, face to face, panting, obscene. Mikasa wanted to make love to him in the middle of the hall and tell him how much she had missed him.

"Did you want to talk?" Eren planted another kiss.

"Yes," Mikasa replied. "I’m so sorry. I fucked up. I have a very interesting story to tell you, but I don't know if it will be more exciting than winning the English league."

"Ok, you know I prefer Monet, but..."

"It has nothing to do with Gauguin." Mikasa took his hand and led him into the living room. If she thought about it, it was a concise thing, but difficult to assimilate. Eren sat down on the sofa. She made him coffee and moved to his side, maturing the words in her head. "It's complicated. If you don't believe it, I get it. I’ve spent more time in Cuba than in Martinique. I haven’t done any study about Gauguin."

"What?" Eren looked at her seriously. "What's going on, Mikasa?"

"I've been working for Interpol for a couple of years. No one knows, only you. Crimes against cultural heritage."

"I don’t get it. What does that have to do with Martinique and Cuba?"

"During Nazism many degenerate works were plundered. Gauguin, Chagall, Klee... Some works were located last year. There was a certain black market for art among many American magnates. That is why I went to Cuba together with a team, to find out the whereabouts of some Gauguin works lost since 38."

"It’s definitely more interesting than winning the Premier." Eren drank from his mug thoughtfully, still amazed. "Was it dangerous?"

"Not much. At least not for me. My job is to see, evaluate and give a verdict, not shooting. Do you think I'm out there drinking Martini and driving an Aston Martin?"

"The idea excites me." The man touched the scar on her face. "And this? I don't remember it. It’s not on the maps that I have of your whole body."

"Then you will have to add it." Mikasa took the cup from him, put it on the table and leaned against him, kissing him calmly and sweetly. For a moment she thought she would never see him again, or maybe he would see her repatriated corpse with a bullet in the head. God! She hugged him and rested her head on his heart. Eren stroked her hair and she trembled at the memory. "It was a shot. I don't know how I'm still alive. I was so lucky..."

"My God," Eren whispered. "Why did you not tell me? Don’t trust me?"

"I know you. Worry wouldn't let you focus."

"Of course not. And now that I know why you left, it will take me a few weeks to recover from my fright. Damn, it hurt so much when you answered my messages as if nothing... I wanted to tell you about my feelings, but you always talked about trivial issues and I thought you didn't care what happened between us. Why?"

"I was scared. I didn't want to think about you or our plans. What would have happened to all those words if I had died? Look at this scar. It’s a miracle I’m still alive. It happened a few days after arriving. It shouldn't have happened, but it did. A rich man held a clandestine exhibition, I infiltrated and they discovered me. I didn't want to tell you that I love you and then die. I don't do things that way."

"And how do you do it?"

"Like this." Mikasa kissed him again.

[uptcwn]

`「✘」JUNG YOONOH ( JAEHYUN ). CISMALE. HE/HIM. || that new tenant, HANN HANJE that moved into APT 22, is TWENTY-FOUR years old and is a PROFESSIONAL CHEF. their tenancy to be WITHDRAWN totally counteracts their CHILL personality. usually, you can hear KISS YOU INSIDE OUT by HEDLEY playing throughout their apartment. when i think of them, i think of BUSINESS CASUAL ATTIRE, LATE NIGHTS WORKING, AND GLASSES FALLING ON THE BRIM OF YOUR NOSE. 「mochi. 24. cst. she/her.」

- BACKGROUND:

so hanjae, who prefers to simply be called jae, was born and raised in south korea until the age of 3 when his family moved to chicago. there, he continued to grow up happy and full of life.

his mother stood at home to take care of him and his two sisters, one older and one younger.

his father was a chef and worked i plenty of different restaurants. he dabbled with many different food cultures when he cooked, but korean food, obviously, was what he was best at.

growing up, jae took an interest in it, as well. he was a natural when he helped his dad in the kitchen. he was always asking if he could help with diner, even begging to make it himself some of the time.

when jae was around 7, his dad had passed away due to a heart condition no one knew about - not even his father. it was sudden and left him totally frozen.

jae was now the man of the house at such a young age, but didn’t really know what it meant. quickly he started showing so many characteristics and qualities of his father. always in the kitchen, trying to make sure the house was settled and there weren’t problems for his mother or sisters to worry about. he wanted to take care of them and make sure they were taken care of really well.

the thing was, jae was young. he had these thoughts and stress of making sure they were okay until the age of 13, where they didn’t exactly stop.

his mother worked here and there and they struggled for those years. when he was 13, though, his mom remarried. a man she may have once been in love with, but quickly learned that she wasn’t someone that deserved her love.

once the man had his mom wrapped around his finger and she agreed to marry him, things started getting bad. not only would he lay his hands on his mother, he’d always threaten to do it to him and his sisters.

at some point, jae couldn’t take it anymore. he stood up to the man and threatened that if he ever laid a hand on his sisters, he’d probably kill him. jae was one of those ‘leave them, take me’ sort of personalities and honestly still is.

because of this, his now step dad started taking things out on him. his mother would try to stop it, but then he’d turn on her and it was a mess.

eventually, at the age of 18, jae had enough. he was leaving to new york, was going to school, and opening invited his family. just not his step dad.

he worked hard to put himself through schools and keep himself up and not let him self fall. he figured that if he can make a good enough income, he could take care of his family and they’d leave the dude behind.

his mother refuses to leave chicago, though, knowing his step dad would find them at some point and hurt them more than all of the times from the past put together.

- PRESENT:

now, jae is a well respected chef. he’s young and still has a lot to learn, even though his talents are very much acknowledged.

he makes a good living, able to take care of himself, helps his sisters when need be, and even his mother when his step dad refuses to let her treat herself or get something they need out of spite.

he lives alone, but the place is big so he often lends or rents out a room in his place. this is usually to friends or acquaintances rather than strangers.

he’s always taking up opportunities in different restaurants and whatnot to help him grow and expand and hopefully get him enough respect and his name out there so he can open a place of his own one day and have it be a success.

when he’s not working or creating menus for places, something he does often for new places opening up, he teaches some cooking classes for beginners and even will teach a course or two at schools - usually for younger children in home economics.

- PERSONALITY:

jae is living well, but it’s not something he flaunts. he’s very humbled and keeps it that way.

although, he does love to spoil people. are you two dating? get ready, he’s generous.

is actually super sweet and caring.

jae is the type to be such a people person. if someone needs night out, he will make sure he’s there until they cheer up or he sees they’re having the time of their life.

doesn’t like to say no if someone needs him for the stupidest things. like, he’ll say no if it’s common sense to say no, you know? but wanna go to the park at 4 in the morning? he’s down. wanna rob a bank? nah, he’ll say no to that. see?

when it comes to his love life, boy is… iffy.

he’s not looking for anyone or love, but isn’t opposed to it popping up. usually goes with the flow, but can fall hard.

it’s something he hates about himself  the falling hard - because it’s let his broken before.

but honestly, jae is such a ?? sweetheart?? angel?? kindhearted bastard??

but can also be bitey. he has a bite to him when need be.

is usually very into avoiding conflict. not because he’s scared to cause a problem or is too meek to deal with an issue. he’s not. but simply because he doesn’t feel he needs to waste his time and energy on stupid things.

also will knock the life out of you if tempted, so??

also still worries himself to death about his family back in chicago and it drives him nuts. unfortunately, he still has to deal with his step dad from time to time, as well.

- DEM FACTS:

loves the colors red and orange.

is the hottest in the kitchen, but that’s jut me bragging about him.

will cook for anyone and everyone, just ask.

loves to teach people the art of cuisine, ooh la la.

teaches on the side, but also will sit at home, playing video games and ignoring your calls and texts, oops.

cooks amazingly, but also bakes so well that you’ll fall in love with him.

is clumsy as hell, so how is this his job? your guess is as good as mine, lemme tell ya.

can’t drink coffee, because ew, but tea? yass.

is a flirt.

loves people, all of them. he likes you, he likes you. no labels.

hates lima beans, but so do i.

typical attire is usually always jeans and some sort of button up. can be open with a white tee under neath, can be a flannel with a tee underneath, can be an actual white button up that makes it looks like he’s going to a meeting, but is trying to make your heart stop. dress pants sometimes, depending on what’s planned for the day. shoes also depend. hair is always flopping and amazing, ugh.

is quite honest, but not super blunt. like, he’s not gonna straight up tell you that you look ridiculous, but he’ll try and ease into it be helping in a way. honest, but not blunt about things.

is amazing at soft and deep conversations.

he’s usually very lighthearted and open and loves to joke and tease. but if you need to talk, and i mean really talk, he’s also amazing at that.

this is a recycled intro that i copied and pasted and edited a bit, so sorry if some things may b off such as a location i forgot to change. BUT. gimme da plots, on discord @momochi#0913

[hcnjce]

☕ . ˚ ◝ ( jung jaehyun. cismale. he/him. ) hann hanjae is a twenty-three year old leo. the sous chef’s go-to order is earl grey tea. they like to listen to let you down by nf while they wait for their order. the employees of the deja brew think they are impatient but swear they’re totally focused as well. maybe that’s why a kitchen towel thrown over a shoulder, soft conversations, late night phone calls, and coy looks remind me of them. ( mochi. 24. she/her. cst. )

trigger warnings of death and abuse.

so this is my second baby, jae, and below is some info on him. as always, i’d love to plot and create connections for him bc he’s a sweet bean and needs love!! his plots page is HERE and my discord is momochi#0913 if you’d prefer to plot on there!!

- BACKGROUND:

so hanjae, who prefers to simply be called jae, was born and raised in south korea until the age of 3 when his family moved to chicago. there, he continued to grow up happy and full of life.

his mother stood at home to take care of him and his two sisters, one older and one younger.

his father was a chef and worked i plenty of different restaurants. he dabbled with many different food cultures when he cooked, but korean food, obviously, was what he was best at.

growing up, jae took an interest in it, as well. he was a natural when he helped his dad in the kitchen. he was always asking if he could help with diner, even begging to make it himself some of the time.

when jae was around 7, his dad had passed away due to a heart condition no one knew about - not even his father. it was sudden and left him totally frozen. 

jae was now the man of the house at such a young age, but didn’t really know what it meant. quickly he started showing so many characteristics and qualities of his father. always in the kitchen, trying to make sure the house was settled and there weren’t problems for his mother or sisters to worry about. he wanted to take care of them and make sure they were taken care of really well.

the thing was, jae was young. he had these thoughts and stress of making sure they were okay until the age of 13, where they didn’t exactly stop.

his mother worked here and there and they struggled for those years. when he was 13, though, his mom remarried. a man she may have once been in love with, but quickly learned that she wasn’t someone that deserved her love.

once the man had his mom wrapped around his finger and she agreed to marry him, things started getting bad. not only would he lay his hands on his mother, he’d always threaten to do it to him and his sisters. 

at some point, jae couldn’t take it anymore. he stood up to the man and threatened that if he ever laid a hand on his sisters, he’d probably kill him. jae was one of those ‘leave them, take me’ sort of personalities and honestly still is.

because of this, his now step dad started taking things out on him. his mother would try to stop it, but then he’d turn on her and it was a mess.

eventually, at the age of 18, jae had enough. he was leaving to califronia, was going to school, and opening invited his family. just not his step dad.

he worked hard to put himself through schools and keep himself up and not let him self fall. he figured that if he can make a good enough income, he could take care of his family and they’d leave the dude behind.

his mother refuses to leave chicago, though, knowing his step dad would find them at some point and hurt them more than all of the times from the past put together.

- PRESENT: 

now, jae is a well respected sous chef. he hasn’t made it to a head chef, but believes it’s because he wants to take it slow. he’s young and still has a lot to learn, even though his talents are very much acknowledged. 

he makes a good living, able to take care of himself, helps his sisters when need be, and even his mother when his step dad refuses to let her treat herself or get something they need out of spite.

he lives alone, but the place is big so he often lends or rents out a room in his place. this is usually to friends or acquaintances rather than strangers.

he’s always taking up opportunities in different restaurants and whatnot to help him grow and expand and hopefully get him enough respect and his name out there so he can open a place of his own one day and have it be a success.

when he’s not working or creating menus for places, something he does often for new places opening up, he teaches some cooking classes for beginners and even will teach a course or two at schools - usually for younger children in home economics.

- PERSONALITY:

jae is living well, but it’s not something he flaunts. he’s very humbled and keeps it that way.

although, he does love to spoil people. are you two dating? get ready, he’s generous. 

is actually super sweet and caring.

jae is the type to be such a people person. if someone needs night out, he will make sure he’s there until they cheer up or he sees they’re having the time of their life.

doesn’t like to say no if someone needs him for the stupidest things. like, he’ll say no if it’s common sense to say no, you know? but wanna go to the park at 4 in the morning? he’s down. wanna rob a bank? nah, he’ll say no to that. see?

when it comes to his love life, boy is... iffy.

he’s not looking for anyone or love, but isn’t opposed to it popping up. usually goes with the flow, but can fall hard.

it’s something he hates about himself  the falling hard - because it’s let his broken before.

but honestly, jae is such a ?? sweetheart?? angel?? kindhearted bastard??

but can also be bitey. he has a bite to him when need be.

is usually very into avoiding conflict. not because he’s scared to cause a problem or is too meek to deal with an issue. he’s not. but simply because he doesn’t feel he needs to waste his time and energy on stupid things.

also will knock the life out of you if tempted, so??

also still worries himself to death about his family back in chicago and it drives him nuts. unfortunately, he still has to deal with his step dad from time to time, as well.

- DEM FACTS: 

loves the colors red and orange. 

is the hottest in the kitchen, but that’s jut me bragging about him.

will cook for anyone and everyone, just ask.

loves to teach people the art of cuisine, ooh la la.

teaches on the side, but also will sit at home, playing video games and ignoring your calls and texts, oops.

cooks amazingly, but also bakes so well that you’ll fall in love with him.

is clumsy as hell, so how is this his job? your guess is as good as mine, lemme tell ya.

can’t drink coffee, because ew, but tea? yass.

is a flirt.

loves people, all of them. he likes you, he likes you. no labels.

hates lima beans, but so do i.

typical attire is usually always jeans and some sort of button up. can be open with a white tee under neath, can be a flannel with a tee underneath, can be an actual white button up that makes it looks like he’s going to a meeting, but is trying to make your heart stop. dress pants sometimes, depending on what’s planned for the day. shoes also depend. hair is always flopping and amazing, ugh.

is quite honest, but not super blunt. like, he’s not gonna straight up tell you that you look ridiculous, but he’ll try and ease into it be helping in a way. honest, but not blunt about things.

is amazing at soft and deep conversations.

he’s usually very lighthearted and open and loves to joke and tease. but if you need to talk, and i mean really talk, he’s also amazing at that.

okay but as always, i’d love to plot for this big bby, so don’t be afraid to reach out or like this and i’ll come bother you!!

[ughgoaway]

Ok maybe I missed this originally but it be nice to see when matty first fell for the reader 👍 I feel like it was a gradual thing because for her she was into him straight away and then I think she fell in love with him properly when he gave her “The Little Prince”. Whereas with matty I’m still trying to figure out if there was a precise moment where he went oh god I’m down bad for this girl 😍 (also I’m still waiting for more of that angst babysitting matty on a date idea - I need to be more depressed during this era of seasonal depression) 💡 😂

Oh, you know I really don't know how he realised he was in love/how it went down??

I mentioned in this Halloween blurb that that night was the first time he realised he actually liked you, but there's a very big difference between a crush and being in love.

I defo agree it was a gradual thing for you, from first sight you thought he was hot and when you spoke to him he seemed nice, but you'd never have guessed you'd fall for him like you did. over the weeks and months, the more you saw and spoke to him, the deeper you fell.

(more rambles below the cut as usual lol <3)

and oh, the idea of you realising it's actually love when you get the copy of "the little prince" is PERFECT!!! it's when you realise he listens to you, he thinks about you and what you said.

that was the thing that made you take a step back and come to terms with the fact that you were in love, and there was nothing you could do about it.

As for matty, I think he realised he had a crush on Halloween night, but he was assuming it was innocent attraction - nothing more.

I think he was in denial a lot longer than you were. You accepted your fate pretty quickly, but matty fought tooth and nail.

not because he didn't want you, but because he knew as soon as he admitted it to himself, it would be impossible for him to function. he couldn't have you, it would put your job and his daughters education at risk, and he couldn't do that.

so he denied, and denied, and denied.

the boys teased him mercilessly, clearly seeing through his "I'm not in love with her" act. matty had spoken to each of them about his crush (blurbs incoming on this...) but he hadn't admitted he was in love.

but I honestly don't know if it was gradual for him or whether it all happened at once.

I can see him having dinner with the Hann's, hanging out with baby Hann as carly and Adam sort out dinner. maybe he watches them potter around the kitchen, they share soft touches and smiles. but then a song comes on the radio, and Adam smiles over at carly and immediately pulls her in. She laughs and throws her head back, but let's him grab her by waist and spin her around. they dance slowly in the kitchen, looking at each other with enough love in their eyes to make anyone sick.

and instead of seeing a couple in love or seeing his best friends and being over the moon for them, matty sees you and him.

he sees your life together. confessing your love, telling Annie, going on dates, moving in together, him propsing, and he sees the two of you dancing in the kitchen of the house you share, just like that.

I think then matty realises he can't deny it anymore. and if he's honest with himself, admitting it isn't gonna change how he lives his daily life. he's been in love for months, but he's only really known it for a few seconds...

also, yes, I am defo working on the angsty babysitting idea!!! I have given myself like 2000 projects to work on, so my brain is a little bit scrambled, lol. but I'm so glad you're looking forward to it, we all need more depression in this season, lmaoooo

[unicorns-bookshelf]

Title: King of Scars

Author: Leigh Bardugo

Rating: 4/5

Beware! Spoilers to all of Grishaverse ahead!

I have to admit – I binged the whole Grisha Trilogy just so I could start reading King of Scars with a full picture. And I’m glad that I did because it made reading this book so much better. I was excited to see all the characters that accompanied Alina on her adventure. It was so refreshing to see them without being a background to her story and the relationships in the group were absolutely wholesome and made me so happy.

But off to the review we go!

King of Scars takes place three years after Alina defeated the Darkling and destroyed the Shadow Fold. Ravka, like always, is in a bad place financially and surrounded by neighbors who are ready to start a war. Not to mention the winged Shu soldiers who abduct Grisha to experiment on them with the use of parem. If that wasn’t enough bad news, Nikolai’s closest friends and guards need to make sure no one knows that the monster The Darkling had put into their king started acting up and now our favorite monarch spends his nights either sedated and in chains or relieving local farms of their livestock. 

Good time? In Ravka? Yeah, I don’t think so.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Fjerda, Nina along with two other soldiers of the Second Army is on an undercover mission to smuggle Grisha from the country to Ravka and also find a proper place to lay Matthias’ body to rest. Because we didn’t need our hearts anyway. 

I am sad to say that the one lacking star in the rating is for the plot. It was really amazing until half of the book, the political intrigue was shaping up nicely, there was the curious mystery of the miracles happening around Ravka and it was fascinating to watch how Alina’s and the Darkling’s legacy shaped up the country and what was the aftermath to the war. Zoya and Nikolai were on their way to get rid of the demon in his body and everything was shaping up so nicely. Things on Nina’s end were getting spicy too as she and her team worked to discover the mystery of a factory in a Fjerdan village and why was it poisoning the local river. At least in this end, the plot didn’t disappoint until the end.

But in Zoya’s and Nikolai’s POVs… The Saints happened. 

Oh boy. I can’t even express how random and confusing this subplot was. 

Let me get this straight - the Saints are important to the Ravkans. They’re a huge part of their beliefs and religion. Their martyrdoms and actions shaped the nation and sure, in The Grisha Trilogy we see Illya’s direct legacy have a huge part in the story, his actual descendants, the results of his experiments with merzost and it is hinted that maybe he’s even alive someone out there, kept young by his Grisha power but the whole point is that he’s not directly involved in the story. He doesn’t just appear out of nowhere in front of Alina being like “Hey girl, let me tell you about those sweet amplifiers I’ve been working on” and suddenly solving all her problems and giving her a super boost in power. He stays an element of Ravkan history and mythology, even if his past actions are crucial to the plot and behavior of certain characters. That’s what the Saints are and what they should stay. 

But no, apparently three of them picked by a random generator are locked in a pocket dimension on the fold and just chilling there until Nikolai and Zoya get somehow sucked in. Ones with the powers and knowledge that could obviously benefit the characters. It was just so… Unreal and random and we just got a half-assed explanation for it that sounds like a story made up in five minutes without any deeper consideration for the world’s lore and magic system. And I get that the Darkling’s experiment destroyed the world’s balance but this had absolutely nothing to do with anything the Darkling was trying to accomplish. It felt like something written by a completely different author with little knowledge of the source material. And if this were means to an end, I feel like it could have been accomplished in a much more plausible way.

I didn’t hate everything about the Saints subplot. I’m happy it gave us some background on how life as a Grisha was in the past, the origins of the name and some amplifier lore too. I love that Zoya got a power boost and I would love to see her change into the dragon in the second book because let’s be honest that would be absolutely awesome. I also hope that the second book will elaborate on the topic, making it more believable and incorporate it into the world’s lore in a logical way. Maybe even show more Saints so that those three wouldn’t feel like special snowflakes chosen just to achieve the ending and give the characters a power boost. I could really just roll with it if we get a more thought-out explanation in the future because as soon as they entered the Saints’ little realm I felt like I was reading about Zoya and Nikolai experiencing a mass hallucination. 

And that brings me to the ending. I know a lot of people hate it and honestly, I kind of share that sentiment. However, I must admit - it had me curious. The Darkling’s situation is completely different than it was in the Grisha Trilogy. I trust the author enough to give her a benefit of doubt in this case and see how she handles this situation in the next book. I’m curious about the Darklings interactions with other characters, as in TGT he was pretty much only focused on Alina. On one hand, I wanted a new villain or no villain at all, just a good political intrigue with some magic. On the other, I’m curious to watch the whole situation develop. 

Now it’s time to talk about the characters because they’re exactly what made this book enjoyable, even when the plot went south. 

I know most people came here for Nikolai and I have to admit that so did I. And don’t get me wrong, I absolutely wasn’t disappointed. We could finally see Nikolai outside of Alina’s POV and it was a feat. The prince seems a little more mature than in TGT but his sense of humor and charming attitude stays the same. We get to learn about his childhood, his insecurities, and concerns both regarding the monster that is inside him as well as ruling his country. His POV allows us to see him as a more wholesome character than in TGT as back then our opinion on him was influenced by Alina’s thoughts and narration. I was very happy to see more of him and I still love him to bits.

But it’s the girls that take the spotlight in this book.

When I read the Crooked Kingdom, I had a certain picture of Zoya which didn’t exactly line up with what I saw after reading The Grisha Trilogy. Of course, from the first book to the last, Zoya went thought some character development, growing out of her mean girl phase but all we’d known about it was that she lost her aunt when the Darkling used Alina to expand the Fold. King of Scars gives us an insight into her past, more information about her relationship with the Darkling and it’s all glorious and shes glorious and ruthless and I love how she’s not softened in any way as a part of some questionable character development. I want to see this girl turn into a dragon.

Nina’s POV made me love her even more than in Six of Crows. She’s still fabulous and ready to stir trouble wherever she goes. Her goodbye with Matthias was heartbreaking but I’m glad her whole storyline wasn’t based on moping after him. I loved that Matthias’ wolf was incorporated into the story and I hope we’ll see more of him. We also got a bigger display of Nina’s powers twisted by parem and I enjoyed it so much. Nina is always ready to help other girls and women and all I can say is… Icon. 

There was also a fourth POV introduced half into the book, one of a completely new character - a royal guard called Isaak. I did love him and he was shaping into a great character but the things happened and, well… We won’t be seeing any more of him and I was really looking forward to the part where he wouldn’t be playing Nikolai and we could see him as his own person. I feel like it was quite a waste but on the other hand, I didn’t grow to care enough to be bothered by it.

When it comes to relationships, both romantic subplots are a big yes in my book. When I started King of Scars I was very not on board with the whole Nikolai and Zoya thing but this book made me love it. Let’s just wish we don’t get some crappy love triangle in the second book. When it comes to Nina and Hanne, I was so excited to see Nin with a girl and Hanne is a great character who has a huge potential for development and the fact that she’s Brum’s daughter makes these dynamics even more interesting. Those two are going to conquer Fjerda together. 

Platonic relationships in the book are also delightful and heartwarming. I especially loved the Grisha Triumvirate and Nikolai acting like one big family and also Adrik being done with Nina starting drama in Fjerda and disobeying his orders like the Dreg she is and Leoni just applauding her? Absolute feast.

All in all, would I recommend King of Scars? Yes, I definitely would to all the Grishaverse fans and if you’re a new fan quickly go grab the Six of Crows duology and either The Grisha Trilogy or just a recap article on it since not everyone has enough nerves to go through books that have such annoying characters as Mal or Mal. Oh and also Mal. Sadly knowing at least basic stuff about the Grisha Trilogy is crucial for understanding this book so you can’t just avoid it like with Six of Crows. I’m eagerly awaiting the next book because I can’t wait to see where all of this goes.

[higheldertala]

it takes you away salt commentary

that’s just sonicking breaking and entering, dick move honestly

there wasn’t much of reason to break in and start snooping around. it was a boarded up house, what someone might assume is abandoned. ryan thought he saw someone but that’s no motivation to break in? it’s not like you heard a scream or the place was on fire or anything.

‘we didn’t mean to scare you’ you literally just broke into her house

they look at graham likes he’s weird for bringing food with him bc it’s evident the doctor doesn’t let them rest or eat when they’re out on adventures 🙄

‘what’s got you so scared?’ 4 strangers just broke into her house

‘maybe her dad packed up and left’ they have a go at ryan but he’s actually right

im no expert but wouldnt you be able to tell if it was a sound recording. like it would be a stationary sound only coming from one place?

they’re wooden panels, you’d be able to hear footsteps

‘i love my sonic’ we fucking know

stick your face in the unknown mirror dimension, what could go wrong?

‘i wanna keep you safe hanne, my companions however fuck them’

i don’t know why the doctor writes that message, how does that change anything for ryan? also a dick move

if they have phones on them they’d have torches/flashlight

she threatens him with the sonic lol

lying to a blind child is never a good look

‘no need to panic there’s no creature’ your dad is just an asshole

knocking out ryan was really harsh jesus

no one asks graham if he’s okay after being held at knifepoint

‘is this a good thing or bad thing?’ yaz please….

oh wow graham actually has some initiative and stops ribbons

oh wow an actual emotional response from yaz and graham about erik’s parenting, you don’t often see that

i feel like any of the emotional beats it’s trying to go for miss by a mile bc there’s little focus on graham and grace and there’s lack of development for any of these characters

this is a situation that i conveniently know bc of a bed time story i was told when i was younger. a bit of plot contrivance, no?

my problem with this as a general trope, is that the characters are never allowed to work the situation through their own wits or intellect, they (and by default the audience) are just told everything they need to know, so nothing is ever earned.

oh wow the doctor showing some actual authority for once

my third ‘oh wow’ this episode is surprising me with how the characters act like actual characters

‘reverse the polarity’ im not a fan of how overused this is in nuwho, please drop it

the doctor just does nothing but explains the plot this episode, it’s so boring. i mean she does every episode so hey

‘you’re not grace!’ yaz you knew her for like a night

i don’t even think classic who would be this on the nose to add a talking frog, well there once was a talking cactus so maybe

‘friends help each other face up to their problems, not avoid them’ says the doctor, who’s about to avoid her problems to her friends for next whole season. ahhhhhhhh im screaming lol 😂😂😂😂

the frog pushing the doctor back 😂😂😂 that was comedy

once again the doctor doesn’t ask graham if he’s okay or console him in anyway

i don’t understand how the graham and ryan arc is complete they don’t really develop their relationship in any meaningful way. and ryan doesn’t even see the solitract version of grace. and graham barely gets closure over the situation.

the sonic was used about 7 times.

[icecreamkink]

so im watching ice princess bc. brain empty. it has been like legit 15 years since i watched it! this was the very first ice skating thing i have ever watched and i was OBSESSED with it when we rented it in vhs. i wouldnt get Actually Into figure skating until sochi but this movie was the reason i was gliding around in socks on the floor and started watching winter olympics as child

it starts w this song that sounds like a ripoff of this OTHER early 00's girl movie song that i cannot remember (or prob never learned lol) the lyrics to and its driving me crazyyy

the ptbr version is called 'sonhos no gelo' aka dreams on ice and i personally think its a better name than ice princess

then again dreams on ice is such a ice show name so maybe thats why they chose not to lol

the music that is playing when hayden panettiere (??) first talks to georgina from gg is. . . weirdly soft porn-y. harold-

OMG WHO IS THE GENERIC "HOT" JOCK. WHERE DO I KNOW HIM FROM

i feel like sasha cohen being who makes georgina go 'omg. moving on ice requires physics!!!and thus Plot' would generate Some Type of dumb discourse today. i cant explain it i just feel it

that tv is very very old .

im so happy that joan cusak is playing an annoying judgy feminist she looks like shes loving it as she should

color coded skaters!

kim cattrall as a scary retired Did She Break A Competitors Leg Did She Not Guess! coach mom named tina is also what she Should be doing

i remember she and joan cusak fight ?by the end? so we are looking forward to That

is this another 'give the girl that the mc has chemistry with a brother for no homo reasons' example; never rewatch your heroes

juniors faking landing quads in 2005? sounds kinda precocious but what do i know

movies abt artistic sports usually Highly overestimate how nice the training outifts are but caseys a woman of the people

georgina wearing kim cattralls old outfit and the yoiness of it all. idk how to feel abt that. blueprint

honestly if my mom hated fs costumes and made me wear That i would definetely rebel

ok listen. i dont Really Know, and i guess the point is that as a Physics Person with Talent she like breaks the barriers or something but . . 'tucking ur arms in' 'pushing with your toepick' are pretty standard things people are conscious of and i dont think theyd make a girl whos been training for a couple months land a double ? would she even have the muscles for that . i mean OK ITS A DISNEY MOVIE IK i Know IM JUST. ok ok

whys georginas token best friend so likeable. get it ann

teddy, the no homo zamboni driver

joan cusack and kim cattralls passive agressive interactions!!!!!!!! ty for my life

Unlikely Complex Computer Program Check

jen! im not dressed for a party! sigh. shake it. ??? eye roll your hair >>>>>

GENERIC HOT JOCK IS SHANE OMEN OMGGGG I KNEW I KNEW HIM

hey! you get paid to be a has been on ice ok. and its Awesome. and its probably more fun than competing all things considered lbr

no but like, its not like georgina couldnt go to college during or after a skating career..... plenty of athletes do that.....

considering she could retire circa 2015, she could even become a youtuber on TOP and capitalize on yuri on ice. joan cusack has no eye for the future smh

but making her mom not simply a controlling academic but instead a working professor regretting probable wasted potential was a smart choice

aw cds !!

'youllbe be worth even more when you win' damn dont hold back tiffanys dad

i feel seen with the way the parents are so obnoxious in this movie

i mean i feel seen bc i had to deal w ballet parents not that i am a obnoxious parent myself, i. i dont have kids

i wish i could say omg thats so dumb as if athletes are always at each others throats like that but uh. on junior level? it happens

hayden panehfd and georgina ending up together would have been so cute sigh

only the girls/women are important in this movie and im into this. rip teddy

zoey bloch sure can rock

i wish i knew how to hidroblade :( or. skate. at all; lmao

nikkis regionals costume was very cute , prize for the jumping bean!! . eh shrimp

so who choreographed georginas programs? tina? did she do it herself? is that why they look kinda meh. why didnt they show it

ok but like. needing to break in brand new shoes is . is it not . common knowledge. :for anything. ?

LIKE im not defending the sabotaging of a teenager but. as a Smart Person who Knows Physics and has been training in a high impact sport and STUDYING IT, did it rly not occur to her that like. competing in brand new, though skates might be a Bad Idea? she figured out how to land a triple in months but not that performing on brand new shoes sounds kinda stupid??

ooo~~ its just like sarajevo~~

JOAN CUSAK AND KIM CATTRALL THROWING IT DOWN YES

the dramatic fight makes it kinda inescapable that they act circles around the kids but oh well

why didnt kim cattrall push teddy to be a figure skater too. like double the odds of a success, seems kinda obvious

its noT MY DREAM MOM. ITS YOURS

*hayden panerimo, voice cracking* anD I WANT *kim cattrall*okay okay thats enough -

drama in the hallwayyy

georgina answering "why are u passionate about harvard" with essentially "im not" kinda iconic ngl

its noT MY DREAM MOM. ITS YOURS²

whys she not wearing the new skates. she already has them now, and for free too

i have never seen an actual frozen lake in my life but are those cracks supposed to be like that

yes it IS a beautiful sport casey tell em !!

kim cattrall was a such a big brain choice. who else would sell 'im not gonna apologize for sabotaging you and taking advantage of ur stupidity" to a 16 year old in a disney movie

"i dont have to like or trust my coach "kjasdkfn casey,,,,, sweetie. i mean eteris girls do win trophies back to back so I Guess In A Way but also.,,,,,, sweetie-

i know that she meant it in a general way, but the Possibility of kim cattrall and joan cusack going to high school together and somethin something Watching and Envying the pretty prom queen/world champion, something being tired of performing feminity something something short skirts something harsh realities of academia and pro sports careers / anywhere for women something. something something.

michelle kwan!! i did not remember her in this

forget georgina and hayden panettone, otp is hayden / ann . hann!! tutor trope!!!!

omg does joan cusack teach at a community college or a encceja type of thing . bitter moms plot thickens

zoey skated to toxic! queen.

i watched this movie so many times in the days i had it rented that i actually still remember a lot of the final programs choreos lmao

skate w the heart uwu

costume prettye

ah!! i used to try to copy the programsss thats why i know the moves LMAO the memories ,,, keep coming back to me

whats this gala lighting all of a sudden???

hann keeps on winning!! look at that hug!they left together! arms linked!!!!!!!

centering the mom daughter relationships is a :'''') for me

we stan nikki

dramedy centering on joan cusack and kim cattrall navigating georginas career

FEEL THE RAIN ON

YOUR

SKIN

NO ONE ELSE CAN FEEL IT FOR YOUU

this was nice :') its confirmed ive had good taste since toddler age 🤷

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Need a chapter name

Holding Levi's hand, Eren watched his husband's sleeping face. They'd weaned Levi off the drugs keeping in unconscious, and now they were all waiting for him to waken. In his lap, Ren had his face buried against Eren's chest, it was unsurprising that the boy hadn't let him go since Reiner and Bertholdt had left. Having his son with him might not have been standard hospital procedure, but having explained his history to the doctor, the man didn't make him send Ren home. For that, Eren was extremely grateful.

It seemed a small eternity before Levi's eyes finally fluttered open, and his husband let out a long groan

"Levi!"

Wincing at the loudness of his own voice, he bit his lip in guilt. Levi's head was probably still tender in the bruise on his husband's forehead was anything to go by

"It's ok Levi. You're in the hospital"

His husband blinked at him, before frowning and Eren's heart sank. They'd warned him mental confusion was to be expected, but Levi hadn't even tried to talk...

"Levi?"

Raising his left hand shakily, Levi placed it over Eren's hand that was firmly holding Levi's right hand

"You're ok?"

God. Even if Levi's voice was soft and rough, he was so happy to hear it

"Yeah. I'm ok. We're both ok. The boys are all ok... Ren's here"

Levi nodded

"Good..."

Levi's eyes slowly slid closed, and as desperately as Eren wanted to wake him go again, he knew his alpha needed the sleep

"Mum, is dad ok?"

"Yeah baby. He just needs a little sleep"

"Can I sleep with daddy?"

"Not just yet baby. Maybe we can ask daddy when he wakes up again"

Burying his face against Ren's hair, Eren let out a long breath. Levi was alright. His husband was going to be ok...

*

Juggling the two crying twins, Bertholdt was struggling as he tried to hush them both. Eren had to spend another day in hospital, so Bertholdt had automatically agreed to look after the twins... but now he was struggling badly. The boys were out of milk, so he'd done a trip to the store for formula, only to find the boys didn't want a bar of it. They refused to drink it, and were obviously hungry. After googling what he could try and feed the boys, he'd gone with stewed apple, only for neither of them to want any of that either. Hearing the knock on the door, he all but rushed to open it, thinking it would be Reiner returning from work. Opening the door, he stared down at the man, taking a moment to realise it was the same man who'd come to the house before

"Um, Eren isn't home yet"

Snorting lightly, the stranger nodded

"I thought that might be the case. Is everything alright?"

Looking down at the crying twins, Bertholdt opened and closed his mouth

"I'm Hannes. I worked Eren case back home. The boys have gotten so big..."

"I'm Bertholdt. I live next door..."

Was he supposed to invite him in? Eren didn't seem to want them around the kids, but Hannes was standing there and staring at him

"Sorry, Eren comes home tomorrow. Maybe you should come back then?"

"Oh right. I was just wondering if you needed a hand with the boys, but I suppose Eren already said he doesn't want us around the kids. He can very stubborn about accepting help"

"Yeah. I'm sorry..."

"No, it's good that he's got such a good friend. I'll come back tomorrow..."

Talk about awkward. Watching Hannes leave, he felt like he should call out to the man and tell him to come in, but the words never left his mouth. Standing there he could only watch Hannes leave.

When the twins wouldn't eat anything else Bertholdt tried to feed them, he felt like a complete failure. With his nerves on edge, and not sure what else to do, he organised their things and headed to the hospital. They were two tiny humans, surely he should have been able to keep them happy and fed. He'd let Eren down, and now his friend had something else to worry about on top of whatever was going on with Levi.

*

After finding Eren's room empty, Bertholdt had to track down one of the nurses and explain who he was. Luckily the woman seemed understanding enough, and was kind enough to lead him through the maze like corridors and to the room Levi was currently in. Technically Levi wasn't allowed to have visitors, but since he'd woken, Eren had refused to leave his husband's side, so he was given strict instructions to keep the noise level down and was only allowed to stay for half an hour. He didn't care if he wasn't allowed to utter a single word, all he cared about was getting the twins to eat.

"Bertholdt? Is everything ok?"

Looking to Eren, Bertholdt swallowed hard. His friend looked as exhausted as Ren and Levi, but at least those two were asleep

"Uh... Eren, I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do. I can't get them to eat"

Eren's eyes widened, before a small smile came to his lips

"You don't need to be sorry. You did the right thing bringing them here..."

"I tried puréed apple, and I tried formula... and banana..."

"I didn't even think about the fact they'd be picky. We've been trying to get them eating solids, given how old they are, they really should be, but they still prefer milk. I'm sorry, but do you think you can help me feed them?"

Help feed them? What was he supposed to do? Nodding mutely, he moved to Eren's side and Eren lifted Eli from his hold

"If you can just hold Rilee while I feed Eli..."

Oh thank god. He didn't know what he'd exactly expected, but if it was only holding Rilee, he could definitely do that

"Should I turn around?"

Eren snorted lightly

"Bertholdt, you've seen me feed the boys before. It's fine, and someday soon you'll be doing the same thing"

Nodding again, Bertholdt looked around for a chair

"I'll just grab a chair from the corridor"

"Ok"

By the time he came back, Eren had Eli against his breast. He knew he was staring, but he couldn't help himself. Eren's breasts looked huge

"I've expressed, but they still feel swollen. It's starting to feel better now"

"Right... I'm still sorry I had to bring them in, especially when Levi needs his rest"

"Levi's going to be ok. He woke up earlier this morning, and he knew who I was. He and Ren had only just fallen asleep again when you came"

"So he's definitely going to be alright?"

"Yeah... the police are coming sometime later for his statement, but I don't think he's done anything wrong..."

"Hannes came to the house, he wanted to see you"

"Of course he did. I get that he used to know me and I'm grateful for all he did for us, but he needs to move on with his own life. We left everything behind... it wasn't supposed to follow us here"

"Do you know what's happening with that girl?"

"No. Not yet. We probably won't know until Levi's given his statement... but seeing she tried to kill us... I don't think she'll be getting away with it"

If Eren didn't think she was going to get away with it, why did he sound so scared? Feeling the urge to comfort the fellow omega, Bertholdt moved his chair closer to Eren

"Eren, you know we'll help you any way we can"

"I'm sorry... I... I really appreciate this, and it's hard to admit that I don't trust people and even harder to have to leave my kids with you. It's just... I had a best friend, and I thought we'd always be friends until it turned out he was still in love with me, and was just waiting for something to happen between me and Levi... I just... I consider you a friend..."

"I get it. You just don't want to get hurt again. I can't image what it must be like to have to leave your kids with us"

"It sucks. I feel so bad about imposing on you and Reiner... and I know I'm blinded by my love for my kids, but I also know they're probably a complete handful"

"Maybe just a little. Them not eating was scary. I felt like an idiot"

Placing his hand on Bertholdt's arm, Eren looked him in the eyes

"You're not an idiot. Baby's can be really fussy. These two are so much more fussier than Ren was. They didn't have the best or easiest birth and I couldn't even look at them without feeling guilty over it all..."

"But you look so happy, Eli looks happy"

The boy did as his chubby cheeks worked hard on draining Eren's breast

"It took a lot of time... and Levi. Levi is my everything. When you have kids, you'll understand how important it is to have your alphas support. I honestly don't think I have the strength to be a single mother. They're the amazing ones"

Bertholdt wasn't sure he completely understood what Eren was telling him, but took his friends hand

"Thanks Eren"

With both boys fed, Bertholdt felt like he could breathe again. Given there was a time limit on his visit, Eren gently woke Levi so he could give both the boys a kiss. The alpha immediately thanking him for looking after their boys and jokingly promising to never make them baby sit again. Leaving the hospital, the first thing Bertholdt did was call Reiner. Even if he wasn't pregnant yet, he really wanted to start planning the nursery and Eren had given him the confidence to finally tell his husband that.

*

Despite how tired he was, and the nonstop throbbing headache, Levi tried his best to give the police his statement. He could remember up most of what happened and that he intentionally crashed because Historia had her gun pointed at Eren. Neither officer seemed too happy when he said the crash was intentional, but apparently Historia had been screaming her head off about needing to kill him when she was brought in, and now they were sorting out the finer details of where the trial would be held. The initial incident had happened back in Paradis, but the accident and her "capture" had happened in Marley. Levi personally couldn't care where it happened, as long as Historia was locked away for a long time. Feeling his eye lids growing heavy, anything else he wanted to say was cut off by Eren asking the officers to leave so he could rest. The alpha couldn't deny he was worried about his husband. Eren seemed so lost and sad, despite the small smiles he would give him. He hated seeing Eren cry, and he was sure his husband was struggling to hide his tears. Waiting until the police had left, Levi then wriggled his heavy body over, before looking to Eren and sighing

"If I ask you to go back to your own room, you're not going to go, are you?"

"No... I can't..."

"Baby, you're exhausted"

"I... I'm just so scared I'm going to wake up and this is going to be a dream. I'm going to wake up and find we're still in the car and you're dead... and..."

Yeah. There were those tears he'd expected

"Come lay next to me. I'm going to be just fine"

"I don't want to hurt you"

"Eren, it hurts more not being able to hold you. Please?"

Sniffling, Eren placed Ren onto the bed before climbing up behind him. Laying their son along his chest, Eren shook his head

"This is all my fault"