#honey is regretting breaking up with jay she couldn’t keep her eyes off jay while he was talking to lola

[woahkana]

honey seriously couldn’t take her eyes off jay when he was talking to lola you couldn’t see her face just the back of her head but you could tell i don’t even think she was even in tune with the conversation that was being had with billy rocky and harvey.

[massivelycreepypineapple]

Kick Butt While Falling In Love

Pairing: Surgeon!Jensen Ackles x Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/N is Dr. Ackles’ patient. They meet during her chemo sessions and become close friends and eventually more.

Requested by a lovely anon (I hope you enjoy this and found the plot alright!): Can you write more doctor Jensen Ackles? I can't think of any plot but Jensen as doctor is very attractive!❤️🙈

Warning: Sick reader, slightly angsty. pretty much it I guess. 

A/N: I tried not to make any mistakes. I hope this is alright. If I made any please do let me know. I apologise for that in advance!

Word Count: 1925

Masterlist

❅ ❅ ❅

If anybody told Y/N a year ago that the hospital would practically be her second home, she’d have sent them packing with a swift kick up their butt. She hated hospitals with a steady passion and she hated doctors even more. The very thought of going to a doctor for something as small as the flu was repulsive to her. So you can imagine her horror when she was forced to go weekly for her chemotherapy sessions. But things didn’t end there. It would seem that life had a way of messing with Y/N. Not only was she forced to go to the dreaded location once a week, but she was slowly looking forward to it. And the cherry on top came in the form of a certain green eyed surgeon.

When Y/N first found out that she had a cancerous tumour growing in her, she was, like anyone else, in great shock and pain. She didn’t have anyone in her life. She became an orphan at the age of 16 and foster care didn’t last long. She began to fend for herself as soon as she hit 18. She wasn’t in one place long enough to make friends either. So the thought of cancer did freak her out. She spent years learning to love her life and she didn’t want to lose that. But as the weeks went by she got used to the idea that this was her reality. And things got better when she met the man in charge of her life. 

Dr. Jensen Ackles was a gem in the world of stones and that’s putting it lightly. Anyone who interacted with him loved him and those who didn’t, well, let’s just say that they sucked as human beings. He was the most beautiful and considerate man she had ever known. And as time went on, he became her best friend. She didn’t really know how that happened considering that she didn’t have any decent ones. She had colleagues who were cordial to her and that was it. She couldn’t for the life of her fathom what possessed him to become her friend. He was her doctor and the relationship should’ve ended at that. But yet here they were best friends and at the brink of something more.

Y/N remembered the first time Jensen was there for her in ways no one else had. She had just started chemotherapy and it was royally kicking her ass. She already had a minor heart condition so there were risks of heart attacks and the like due to chemo. The drugs given to her took a toll on her big time and she often found herself with her head in the toilet, leading her to lose so much weight as well as her appetite. One particular day Y/N was suffering worse than usual and her chest was aching. She remembered that Jensen had given his personal phone number in case she needed a friend. She was light headed and in pain and she decided to just take a leap of faith and call him. 

-Flashback-

“Hi Y/N, is everything okay?” His deep voice came through the phone, immediately calming her a bit. 

“J-Jensen I-“ She started breathing heavily. 

“Y/N!! Where are you?” He asked frantically.

“H-home.” She managed to get out. She sounded breathless and weak. 

“I’ll be there in 15.” He said and cut the call. 

True to words, 15mins later Jensen showed up. She struggled to get to the door but managed to open it, but only to fall into his arms. He quickly picked her up and took her to the ambulance waiting outside. Y/N chuckled lightly at that. “S-so dramatic.” She said.

“You scared me, sweetheart. You didn’t sound good and I was clearly right to be scared.” He said trying to stay calm as he put her on the gurney and letting the paramedics fix her to the IV tubes. He rode with her back to the hospital and got her into the emergency room. 

-Flashback End-

After everything had calmed down and her condition was brought under control, Jensen stayed beside her the entire time. He did everything to keep her fever down, brought her decent food that was easy on her stomach. He replaced the IV when the drugs were getting low. He even spent the night with her. Since then there was always something developing between them. They became close and Jensen from then on was her best friend and the love of her life (only he didn’t know it yet). He even took on an active role in making sure her chemotherapy went smoothly. He rearranged his schedule around hers. He spent time with her figuring out which medicine worked best, and stayed up with her the nights she spent in the hospital.

That’s where Y/N found herself once more. She had just finished her session for the day. Jensen was in surgery so he couldn’t keep her company like he usually did. So she got through it by listening to music and flipping through a magazine. Just as she was about to leave she got light headed and collapsed. 

The nurses rushed to her and put her on a gurney trying to help her. She could barely make out what they were saying. She was in and out of consciousness. 

“She’s going into a cardiac arrest. She needs surgery now!” Said one of the doctors.

“We need to page Dr. Ackles!”

“He’s in surgery!”

“Fuck! Let’s take her into the OR and get her prepped. If he isn’t there yet, we need someone else immediately.” 

That was the last thing she heard before everything turned black. 

__________

Y/N woke up to an insistent beeping noise. She felt something heavy on her hand and she couldn’t move. She slowly blinked her eyes and saw someone resting their head on her bed. Jensen was still in his scrubs and his hair sticking out. He looked exhausted. She gently nudged his hand that was holding hers and he jerked awake. 

“Y/N!” He whispered. He quickly got up to check her vitals and began fussing over her. He brought her a cup of water and she gently took a few sips. She then finally looked at him properly and saw that his eyes were red. It looked like he had been crying. 

“Jay..” She whispered softly, her throat still sore. “What happened?”

“You had a heart attack, sweetheart.” 

“Oh… was it because of all the chemo?”

He nodded at that. “There was a blockage near the heart stopping the blood flow. We managed to get it out. You’re fine now, baby.” He caressed her cheek. 

“The last thing I heard was that you were in surgery.”

“Yeah I was, but I was almost done. He was fine and I only needed to close him up. The interns could manage that so I rushed to you. I don’t trust anyone else with your life, baby girl.” He said closing his eyes tight.

“I’m fine Jay. You came in time and I’m fine.” Y/N comforted him.

“Y-yeah” He whispered.

“Jay, what about the tumor?”

“The drugs are working. Chemo’s doing its job and the tumor has shrunk. But we couldn’t remove it just yet. You need another course of chemo before we go in and finish the job.”

Y/N started crying “I don’t want to, It’s too much! Please don’t make me!”

Jensen’s heart broke at that and his face fell. “Y/N...please do this. I know it’s painful and exhausting, honey. But I need you to do this. I need you to get better.”

“Why?! Why does it matter so much to you?” She cried.

“Because I fucking love you!” He said 

Y/N was shocked at that admission. She knew there was something there but she never in a billion years thought that he loved her like she loved him. 

“I love you so much, and I need you to get better so that we can make this work and maybe live happily ever after like those books you love!” He added.

She just stared dumbly at him. She didn’t know what to say. She was afraid that she'd break his heart. She was at risk and didn’t know if she'd make it.

Her silence broke his heart further. She could see he was regretting his words. So she quickly added, “I’m only going to hurt you, Jay. We don’t know if I’ll make it.” 

“You will make it, Y/N.”

“You can’t know that! You deserve someone normal. You deserve someone who is not on death’s bed. Someone who won’t remind you of work all the time. Caz that’s what I am, Jensen! I’m your patient and-” She was interrupted with his lips. 

“I know you feel the same, sweetheart. You’re not just my patient. You’re the love of my life. I don’t stay up for any of my patients but you. I don’t do house calls and I sure as hell don’t give them my personal number.” He said with determination in his eyes. 

Y/N looked at him wide eyed. She dared hoped that things would work out. She wanted it so badly. She reached out, despite the pain she was in and pulled him down for a fierce kiss. 

“I love you too, so damn much” She said looking into his eyes. 

He grinned at her and kissed her one last time before tucking her into the blankets. “Rest some, baby. We’ll figure this out ok?” 

“Stay.. don’t go.” 

“I have to check on the other guy, Y/N.” He said looking sadly at her. To which she nodded in understanding. “I’ll be here when you wake up. I promise. I’m taking some time off to be with you.” 

“You don’t have to..”

“Shh. I want to” he said which made her smile so cutely at him. 

But she became serious again, scrunching her eyebrows. “Jay...are you sure it’s going to be okay? I don’t want to die.” Y/N said with a small voice. Jensen felt his heart clench at that. He held her face in his large palms.

“Baby, you’re not going to die ok? Not if I have anything to say about it. You’re going to kick this tumour’s butt and then we’ll run off into the sunset together like a cheesy couple.”

She laughed a little at that. “Okay, I like that plan.” 

“Y/N…”

“Yeah?”

“I know it’s very early but move in with me. Please?”

“Yes.” 

Jensen kissed her hard and then said, “WHEN you survive this, I’m going to marry you. Don’t want to waste any time.”

“I’d like nothing more, baby” grinned Y/N with tears in her eyes. 

Jensen kissed her on the forehead and turned to leave to check on the other patient. 

Y/N fell asleep with a huge smile on her face. For the first time in forever she felt like everything was going to be okay. For the first time in her life she felt like she had a family even if it was just Jensen for now. Maybe they’ll make their own family. A big one too. Did she wish she had met him in better circumstances? No. This entire journey made her who she is. She’d go through it all again because the person she is today is the person who Dr. Jensen Ackles fell in love with. And she wouldn’t have it any other way. 

❅ ❅ ❅

TAGS BELOW

@hobby27 @akshi8278

[staywhelmedbatfam]

Overprotectiveness

~Bruce Wayne/Reader~

Summary: The joys of being parents to a teenage girl while you try to keep the Batman and other vigilante appearances at bay.

If you want, you could consider this a continuation (a flash-forward, if you will) of A Change in the Family Dynamics. Although, it’s not necessary to read it to understand what happens. If you wish to read that one first, there’s a link to my masterlist at the very end.

***

When the front door opened, you were walking down the stairs. You watched as your sixteen-year-old daughter ran past you towards her bedroom and kept her head down. Furrowing your eyebrows, a frown made its way onto your face. After hearing the door close, you turned to find Alfred with a worried expression. You continued down the stairs and met him halfway.

“What happened?”

He sighed, “I’m not quite sure, Mrs. Wayne.”

Glancing up the stairs in the direction your daughter took off, you knew that something had to really be bothering her. Your heart ached for her. “I’m going to go talk to her.”

On your way to her bedroom, you sent your husband a text that read ‘Teddy emergency’ to which he immediately replied, telling you he would be on his way home soon. Once you got close enough, you could hear faint crying through her closed door. You softly rapped your knuckles against the solid wood that made up her bedroom door and waited a moment before letting yourself in.

“(D/N)… Sweetie?” you called out to her in a soothing voice as you sat on the edge of her bed and rubbed her back. “What’s wrong?”

She sniffled a bit before lifting her head off of her pillow and looking back at you with her teary eyes. “Guys are jerks,” she declared, causing you to be slightly taken aback. “I overheard Felix’s brother bragging to his friends about how he’s only dating me because of our money.”

Your facial expression softened. “If that’s all he cares about, then he’s not worth your time.”

“You’re right. Dad, Alfred, and my brothers are the only good guys out there.” (D/N) planted her face right back into her pillow.

“Oh, come on. There are guys out there that are worthwhile. Just not this one. Someday, there will be a guy that will love you for the amazing girl that I know you are.” Sitting up, your daughter wrapped you up in a hug and you wiped at her tear-stained cheeks when the two of you pulled away.

“Thanks, Mom.”

Smiling, you kissed the top of her head. “You’re welcome, baby.” You stayed with her a little longer, enjoying the silence when you weren’t making small talk. The silence was broken by a knock on her bedroom door.

“Honey, it’s Dad,” Bruce announced. He’d come straight from work, only stopping on his way to get something for his daughter.

“Come in,” she replied.

Entering with a teddy bear and a single rose, your husband made his way over. He handed (D/N) the items and sat down on the other side of her. She leaned into his shoulder and looked up at him while thanking him for the gifts.

Out of the blue, a thought popped into her head. “Mom?”

“What is it, sweetie?”

“How many guys did you date before Dad?” she inquired, turning her attention to you. The question caught your husband’s attention and he looked at you with an amused and curious expression.

“Oh, um…”

A smirk made its way onto Bruce’s face. “Yeah, (Y/N), how many?”

Heat rose to your cheeks and you had to avert your gaze. There’s no way you could look him in the eyes when you give your reply. He only ever knew of one of your relationships and that was only because you knew each other at that point. However, he never asked about any of your previous boyfriends. “Six or seven…”

Bruce had this smug look on his face that made you want to defend yourself and so, you did. “Only one of those relationships got serious enough to hold a candle to what your father and I have now.”

“Really?”

You nodded your head. “Mhm. Eli and I were engaged.” Your husband tensed at the mention of the only ex he knew. His hand that wasn’t wrapped around (D/N) became a fist.

“What happened?”

“He thought that your mother was cheating on him with me, but he was actually the one cheating,” Bruce remembered. He had been the one to catch him in the act and tried to break the news to you as gently as possible. You cried for two days and he let you stay at the manor so you wouldn’t be alone in your apartment. At the time you didn’t know about Batman, but Bruce had the boys take over patrol for the week so he could stay with you. A month later, Bruce asked you to dinner in a more-than-a-friend way and that led to where you are now.

“It’s all in the past now,” you commented, hoping that your husband would get the hint to not get all worked up over the situation.

The two of you stayed in (D/N)’s room a little longer to be sure that she felt better before finally leaving her alone. As you walked down the hallway, Bruce started to veer away from you towards the grandfather clock.

“A little early to head down to the cave, don’t you think?” Your question made him stop and turn around to face you as you raised an eyebrow while crossing your arms over your chest.

“There’s a case I want to get started on.”

“Mhm, sure. A case. Do tell, who are you going after this time?” His silence was all the answer you needed. “Don’t you dare suit up just to avenge your daughter. I can see the gears turning in your head. You’re not sending the boys either.”

Bruce gave you a you-took-all-my-fun-away look, but you didn’t care. Batman didn’t need to show up at the boy’s house for this and neither did Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, or Robin. No matter how much you wanted them to scare that boy senseless for what he did.

***

“Are you really going to stay down here until she gets home?” you asked your husband, one eyebrow raised as you leaned against the doorframe to the library with your arms crossed. He didn’t make any move to turn around and look at you from his spot on one of the sofas. Instead, he just flipped a page of his book.

“Yes.”

Pushing yourself off of the doorframe, you stood behind the sofa and leaned forward to wrap your arms around him. “Bruce, she’s nineteen.”

“All the more reason to worry, especially in Gotham,” he quickly reasoned, causing you to huff.

Pursing your lips, you bantered, “She grew up with four vigilante brothers and Batman as her father, I think she’s more than capable of taking care of herself.” Finally, he snapped his book shut and closed his eyes while he pinched the bridge of his nose. “Every time she has a date, you get like this. She’s not sixteen anymore. Besides, I’ve met Bennett already and he seems to be a respectable young man.”

It took a moment, but Bruce relaxed some before grumbling, “I’m still doing a thorough background check.”

“Fine. Oh, and by the way, I told Jay and Dami to come home and give their sister some privacy.” Your husband turned to give you a look. “What? You didn’t think I’d know you sent them to spy on her? I’m your wife. It’s my job to know what goes on inside that head of yours.”

Straightening up, you began gravitating towards the door to leave the room. “If it makes you feel better, I used the computer in the Batcave to key into the security cameras of the restaurant they went to…” you announced before exiting the room to head downstairs to the Batcave. It wasn’t long before you heard footsteps behind you, causing a smirk to make its way onto your face.

This is the fifth date that Bennett has taken your daughter on, but Bruce has yet to meet him. He was always out of the house when they went on their dates. You wanted this boy to have a fighting chance before he encountered Bruce, so you never mentioned anything to him. However, she had left right before he got home tonight and was asking where she was. It wasn’t possible for you to withhold information any longer.

As soon as you got to the bottom of the stairs, you heard all four boys enter the cave. Dick and Tim were out on their normal patrol but when they heard about their sister’s date, they came right back. You were the first to reach the monitors with surveillance footage showing the young couple’s table. Everything appeared to be going just fine and then… it happened.

The boys and your husband were loudly protesting and throwing threats in the poor, unsuspecting boy’s direction as he kissed (D/N). They had appeared behind you at the exact moment that he gathered his courage to kiss her, causing you to cringe. Couldn’t they have shown up just a few seconds later?

You addressed the raging men as you turned off the surveillance footage, “All five of you need to stop being so overprotective! She’s a young adult capable of making her own decisions. This boy comes from a nice family and treats (D/N) well. If you even think about trying to scare him away, I’ll make sure that you’re all miserable for – at least – a month.”

It may not seem like much of a threat, but Bruce didn’t take you seriously the last time you made that kind of argument and he ultimately regretted it. You slept in a guest bedroom and deprived him of physical contact for three months. It had been the most excruciating three months for him, knowing how close you were and craving any kind of touch – even something as simple as holding hands.

This time around, Bruce heeded your warning and the boys followed suit. They were still grumbling about what they had just witnessed but made no move to act upon their irritation.

When Bennett dropped your daughter off at home, he walked her to the door like he had done the previous four times. The only difference was that you and Bruce waited for them right outside the door. The color seemed to drain from her face when she saw the two of you – more specifically Bruce – standing there and you felt bad for springing this on her.

“Mom… Dad…” she said, a little hesitant.

“Hello, Mrs. Wayne… Mr. Wayne.” As soon as he looked at Bruce, you could tell that the nerves had kicked in. The look that your husband was sending his way scared him.

Hoping to make the situation a tad less uncomfortable, you smiled at him and spoke up. “Hi, Bennett. It’s nice to see you again.”

“Could you spare a moment to chat, Bennett?”

“Daddy, please–” (D/N) tried to interrupt.

Bennett gulped before responding with a slight stutter, “O-of course, sir.” He reluctantly followed Bruce inside to his office and you waited with your daughter where she paced outside the door.

You tried to reassure her multiple times that everything would be fine. After what you thought would be a five – maybe ten – minute talk turned into twenty minutes, you started to doubt what you were saying was true. Finally, the door popped open to reveal your boys with satisfied looks on their faces as Bruce shook Bennett’s hand and sported a small smile.

(D/N)’s eyes nearly bulged out of her head when she saw that her brothers had been in the same room. Slowly, she calmed down when everything appeared to be just fine. In fact, she looked rather shocked.

“(Y/N), better let Alfred know we’ll be having one more at dinner on Saturday night,” Bruce mentioned to you as he patted Bennett on the shoulder.

“Oh, that’s great!” you replied. “Now, I’m sure Bennett needs to get home, so let’s leave these two be so they can say their goodbyes.” Shooing everyone away, you sent a wink your daughter’s way and she mouthed a thank you back.

If this boy was coming to dinner so soon, you would definitely be seeing more of him in the future. Despite how much you know your husband hated to let go of the fact that his daughter was growing up, you knew that this was a show of approval. You could only hope that nothing about your odd family would deter the young man from seeing your daughter.

Masterlist

Subscribe to Tag List

[eviesmyspiritanimal]

A Darned Good Dream to Have

Summary: During his engagement party with Mal, Ben is having some hard times coping with a stubborn, lasting affection that he just can’t seem to rid himself of. He resolves to tell her if only to let it go for himself. Bal and Bevie, and it’s a little angsty so enjoy it, all you gluttons for punishment. XD It’s totally separate from my other fanfics, so call it a little experiment.

    Ben laughed as he spun Mal around in his arms.

  “So, husband-to-be, how are you?” Mal asked him. Ben leaned in and kissed her nose with a smile.

  “Well, my wife-to-be, I am doing quite splendidly. It might be because of the company I keep,” he winked, and Mal rolled her eyes, enjoying his cheesiness despite her dismissal.

  “Now, now, Chad’s going to be jealous if you keep it up. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were old Charming’s long-lost son,” Mal ribbed with a grin and Ben lovingly eyed her.

  Ben couldn’t be luckier. Mal was a shining beacon of beauty- his gorgeous soon-to-be queen. It was a miracle to have found her and had such a connection with her that he did. Mal was truly a blessing to him and he was looking so forward to spending the rest of his life with her.

  However, and he hoped his girl did not notice, his eyes did wander that night to someone that he most assuredly should not have been looking at on the day of his own engagement party. A good fiancé would not have done it. A good man would not have done it.

  But he just couldn’t keep his eyes off of the absolutely stunning bluenette in the room.

  Evie had an entirely different shine than Mal had. When she smiled, she practically glowed with fondness and kindness that was entirely unique to her. Every contour of her face practically screamed the innate love that was so limitless and abundant.

  Ben loved Mal, but when he saw Evie, his heart skipped a beat in that frustrating flighty pattern that he tried so hard to keep away. Because that flutter was not right. It was not meant to be.

  “Ben, I’ve got to go to the bathroom, and I’ve got to go figure out what happened to Jay and drag his sorry butt here,” Mal informed him. Ben nodded, bowing deeply and kissing her hand tenderly.

  She grinned at him with pure, unadulterated joy, and she hurried off in the opposite direction, disappearing in the crowd.

  Ben’s smile slowly faded when she was out of sight, his heart dropping somewhat as he realized that he had absolutely nothing to distract him from gaping at Evie. He bit his bottom lip, but before he could contemplate anything much further, the bluenette in question was making her way toward him with that sweet, easygoing grin on her face.

  He was simultaneously very happy to see her and very unhappy to see her.

  “Hey, you!” Evie greeted, hugging him as she approached. His eyes went wide as her arms wrapped around him and he involuntarily took in a heaping helping of the almost intoxicating flowery scent of her hair. Of course, he should’ve expected nothing less from her. She was very liberal with her physical affection when one was counted among the people that she cared about most. That was perhaps one of the things that he found most attractive about her.

  Ben fortunately thought to bring his arms up to hug her in return and she quickly pulled away after just a moment, looking around for everyone.

  “So, where did M go?” Evie questioned, looking around and no doubt scouring the crowd for the other girl. Ben chuckled lightly at her.

  “She went to the restroom and she’s trying to contact Jay and I quote, ‘drag his sorry butt here,’” he answered, and Evie laughed at him, shaking her head.

  “Yeah, that sounds just like her. Get some purple hair and perfect the inflection and we’ll never be able to tell you two apart,” Evie mussed his hair up playfully. He tried to formulate some response, but he was lost in the feeling of her fingers running through his hair.

  But Ben subtly shook himself from it, however. He loved Mal dearly, and he couldn’t forsake her for someone that he didn’t feel more than an overwhelming infatuation with.

  “Well, would you mind a dance in the meantime?” Ben found himself offering, if only to keep talking to her for just a moment more. Evie nodded her head easily.

  “Most definitely, your Majesty,” Evie curtsied.

  And so they began. Her hands in one of his own and on his arm were like fire on his skin underneath the fabric of his suit.

  They moved about for a few moments, and just her little mannerisms were driving him insane, and he was beginning to regret asking her to dance.

  “What’s got you lost in thought?” her silky voice came floating in his ears and he looked into her eyes, a bit overwhelmed by the so natural and boundless love that he found there.

  Ben swallowed hard, knowing that he needed to get ahold of himself. Unfortunately for him, however, the only way he could foresee possibly ever overcoming the feelings was if he were to admit it aloud and confess his care for her. He knew she didn’t reciprocate his feelings and if he were to see true, definite evidence of that fact from Evie herself, he could maybe finally let her go.

  “Evie, I need to be honest with you. Something that I haven’t been with Mal as I should be,” Ben murmured after several long moments as they danced, their movements offering a great mask for Ben’s feelings of guilt.

  Evie tilted her head to the side, listening to him and offering her full and undivided attention.

  “What is it?” Evie questioned with that undying motherly sort of calmness and understanding warming her voice as she spoke.

  “I’ve… come to love you, Evie,” Ben told her finally, never one for withholding anything when it came to personal feelings regardless of how potentially uncomfortable that the other person could become as a result. Evie just smiled sweetly in response to his admission, reaching up and patting his cheek with one hand.

  “Aw, you’re sweet. I love you, too,” Evie returned what she understood to be his feelings, and he could see that usual glow of fondness that she had when she looked at any of those she considered family.

  Ben shook his head, his lips tightening as he looked into her honeyed mocha gaze. He brought his hand up quickly to catch hers before she dropped it away from his face. Ben somewhat shamefully looked down at the floor that was spinning between them as they went in a circle.

  “Ben? What’s wrong?” Evie asked him so painfully cluelessly. He clenched his jaw a bit, trying to hold back the conflicted emotions he was feeling at this moment. This was a frustrating, sad situation that simply couldn’t be helped. He didn’t understand why he had even initiated this conversation.

  But he had to finish it. He’d have no peace within him until he did.

  He drug his gaze back up to her and saw all of the caring and kindness that seemed to permanently live there in her eyes.

  “No, Evie, you don’t understand. I’m in love with you,” Ben finally admitted, and it almost seemed as if all of the festive sounds of the engagement party came to a complete and startlingly silent stop as Evie’s usually easily reflected emotions became nearly nonexistent and impossible to read.

  She nearly stopped dancing, but she managed to recollect herself before she mis-stepped and caused them to lose formation with the other dancers. Evie gaped at him for a little while longer before her voice came out in a surprisingly calm and seemingly unaffected manner. But Ben could feel just how affected she was simply by the tightness of her hand on his arm.

  “How long?”

  “Since Mal left for the Isle before Cotillion,” Ben mumbled in admission, and Evie shook her head in disbelief and shock as she finally allowed some of her true emotions to shine through, pulling her hand from his grasp that held it against his cheek.

  “Ben,” Evie addressed him, not truly aiming to say anything of worth to him, but simply as an expression of her astonishment.

  “I love Mal,” Ben told her, trying to somehow alleviate the effect of his previous declaration. Evie almost immediately snapped to attention as soon as he spoke those words, any sign of sentimentality gone in favor of a more hardened expression.

  “Keep this between us, Benjamin, or I will make you regret it. You will not break her heart pining after something that you don’t need,” Evie warned him, her eyes narrowing and her posture stiffening as she regarded him firmly. Ben shook his head sadly.

  “I’m not going to. I just wanted to tell you so maybe I could let it go,” Ben explained himself and Evie huffed as her expression softened significantly.

  They danced for a bit longer and he knew she was going to soon leave him and that he needed to leave her so he could have time to consider everything and forget his moment of weakness in favor of a strong relationship with his true beloved.

  “Can I just kiss you once before I go?” Ben questioned, almost desperate as he gave her a pleading look. Evie shook her head almost imperceptibly as she sighed sadly. He knew it was a sadness felt for him rather than sadness rooted within her own reasons and feelings.

  “Mal’s going to come back any minute, and I can’t betray her trust like that,” Evie told him, every word that passed between her lips as sure as could be. He nodded, knowing she was right and that he was wishing for what was never going to happen and that was not good for either of them.

  However, just as he was about to pull away, he felt tenderly soft, warm lips on his cheek in what could easily be considered as a platonic expression of care. His face immediately started to tingle like electricity, her kiss sending jolts through his body in a way that he never imagined simply a cheek kiss could ever do.

  Evie slowly pulled away from the young king, her touch gone as quickly as it had come. It was just a quick, sweet taste of the tantalizing, forbidden fruit that he would never have. Ben locked his eyes with her own. Evie’s gorgeously rouged lips curved upward in a slight smile as she shook her head, conveying everything that he needed to know in that one small gesture.

  He loved Mal and it was the way it was supposed to be. He couldn’t love Evie, too. Not like that. Mal was his one true love and it was meant to be beyond a shadow of a doubt. Evie was just a wisp, almost a ghost that comes in a dream in the night.

  But as Evie grinned widely and lovingly at Mal as she suddenly rematerialized from somewhere behind Evie, and Evie left the both of them to finish the dance with her gaze lingering on him, he couldn’t help but think.

  Evie was a darned good dream to have.

[justkillingtimewhileiwait]

GONE - an epilogue to CPD 4x16

It felt like a punch to the gut. The impact of Hank's words causing her to lean forward and clench the edge of her desk to steady herself. Everything blurred temporarily but she anchored herself to the cool wood and steel surface and took a slow breath. Pushing the wave of pain down the best she could Erin focused on Kim, her shaky voice updating them on the case. The bullpen suddenly felt too hot, too small and too full of emotion. The air was thick and heavy and she struggled to keep her breathing even. Erin welcomed the escape offered when Hank sent her and Jay out. But steps from gaining her reprise from the grief and shock into denial her feet stopped, eyes falling on the board of injured victims. Lexie's sweet face called to her. She reached up, gently pulling the picture into her hands. This was all that was left now. Pictures, memories. Nineteen precious years. Too few. Lexie's eyes glimmered up at Erin, her smile genuine. Carefully Erin placed Lexie picture on the other board, offering up a silent homage for the beautiful girl. / They'd stopped by Al's house on the way home that night. Jay had shifted uncomfortable in his seat when Erin asked him to swing by but he hadn't protested out loud. She knew his emotions made him uncomfortable but it wouldn't be right if Erin didn't stop and check in on Meredith, the woman she'd considered her aunt since she was fifteen. Erin knocked softly before letting herself and Jay in the kitchen door. As she suspected Meredith was seated at the kitchen table with her sister and another close girlfriend. When her eyes met Erin's they began to water. "Oh, Erin, honey," she sobbed, rising to her feet and stepping into Erin's outstretched arms. "I'm so sorry," Erin whispered with a choked voice. She held the older woman, absorbing as much of her grief as she could relieve her of, at least temporarily, Meredith's sobs shaking both of them. Erin clenched her teeth holding in as much of her own grief as she could. She was here to try and offer some comfort and support, there would be time for her own selfish pain later but right now she had to help this mother find a way to keep breathing through her heartache. Still she couldn't keep it all in, some silent tears tracking down her cheeks. She tried to blink them away when Al walked in the room. The quiet confident man looked beaten and somehow a million years older tonight. Jay approached him with his hand extended and the two men hugged while clasping hands, Jay's awkward words of condolence and Al's dejected offer of appreciation muffling each other. "What can I do? What do you need?" Erin asked Al over Meredith's shoulder. He shook his head. What could anyone do really? There was nothing that would bring her back or make loosing her any less excruciating. Erin's need to fix this somehow, to some how make some sense of this and restore some control to her spiralling world went without remedy. Meredith began to take shaky gulps as she composed herself and lifted her head. "I'm sorry sweetie," she offered, embarrassed at her emotional display. "No, it's why I came," Erin reassured her. "Whatever you need," Erin began again. Meredith squeezed her hands. "She adored you, looked up to you and you always watched out for her. Thank you for that," she said cupping Erin's cheek. Erin's throats closed with the grief that wouldn't release making it difficult to swallow. She didn't need thanking. Didn't want it. She wanted Lexie here, she wanted her family to stop loosing its best parts, wanted to stop burying the people Hank had thrust into her life when he brought her home the night she begged him to help her get out. Nights like tonight she wished she'd never experienced what family was, what real love felt like. She wished she could return to the emptiness and numbness she drowned herself in daily before Hank saved her. She silently cursed Hank. He'd done this. He'd taught her to feel, to care. He'd made her want to be a part of something bigger than herself. And where had it got her? What had it given her but loss and regret and pain. Stop it. This isn't about you, she berated herself, pulling her thoughts back from their irrational spiral. A chill ran up her spine at how much like her mother her internal dialogue sounded. She pushed the thought away and focused back on Meredith. Meredith pulled Erin down to sit at the table and, despite Erin's polite refusal, busied herself making Erin a cup of tea. The habitual hospitality seemed to give Meredith some relief from her grief if only momentarily so Erin took the cup and sipped the luke warm liquid, doing her part to help the illusion of normality. Jay and Al had disappeared moments ago, no doubt to the garage for a stiff drink and some awkward silence that she knew Al was much more comfortable in then trying to comfort the mother of his dead child. Because how did you do that? What peace could he offer her? Her grief only served to amplify his own while reminding him just how powerless he was to protect and comfort those he loved. An hour later Jay and Erin quietly exited, assuring both Meredith and Al that they, that the whole team in fact, was here to support them with whatever they needed. They shuffled into their apartment in silence. Erin shed her coat and boots absentmindedly and followed Jay down the hall. He turned into the kitchen and grabbed two beers out of the fridge, offering one up to her. Erin hesitated. God how nice it would be to numb herself from all of this. But Erin shook her head no. She couldn't drink. Not tonight. Grief and alcohol were a toxic mix for her. If she ran from this tonight she wasn't sure she would be able to resist running again tomorrow and the next day and the next. She could feel the dark hole rising up for her. She took a step back from it and the beer in Jay's hand. She would not let her mother's voice win. Not tonight. "I'm gonna go change," she mumbled tiredly, turning towards the bedroom. Jays shoulders slumped at her retreat. He'd been surprised but not disappointed she'd refused the alcohol balm. Jay twisted the cap off his bottle, tossed it in the sink and took a long gulp of cold liquid. He welcomed the burning down his throat as he leaned back against the counter, not missing the irony in his drinking instead of Erin. He stood staring at a spot on the opposite wall until Erin emerged from their bedroom clad in her warmest comfy pyjamas. Jay put down his now empty beer bottle, pushed off the counter and met her in front of the couch. She smiled up at him as he reached out to stroke her arm. "Can I get you anything? You feel like eating something yet?" Jay offered. Erin shook her head. "Only thing I need is my boyfriend's arms wrapped round me," she offered with shy honesty. The raw venerability in her statement disarmed Jay and he pulled her close, snuggling her head under his chin for a moment before pulling her down next to him on the couch and covering them with a blanket. Erin cocooned into his side and they sat in the semi dark silence for awhile, processing the last couple of days. "I use to babysit her," Erin offered after awhile. Jay tilted his head down to look at her while she spoke. "Al, Meredith, Hank and Camille they'd go out about once a month or so you know. And I'd watch them, Justin and Lexie, well, after Hank trusted I had my shit together. She loved it when I'd turn the music up loud, we'd dance around all crazy, laughing. She had the best laugh." Erin smiled sadly, the tears returning to fill her eyes. Then a laugh tumbled out of her involuntarily. "Justin," she said through sad strangled giggles. "He was such a little shit. He'd tease her so bad. Chase her all over the house chanting stupid rhymes about her name. I swear I wanted to tie him to a chair and duct tape his mouth shut some days." Her expression changed and sadness clouded her eyes again. "And now they're both gone," she whispered. She couldn't get her head to except this. She still expected Justin to turn up unannounced with his cocky smirk any day now. It didn't matter that she's stood at Hank's side and watch them lower his body into the ground. It didn't matter that she'd kissed his forehead and said good bye while he lay in the hospital, nothing but machines keeping him alive. An imagine of Al and Meredith sitting with Lexie when they disconnected her machines overwhelmed Erin. Soon she'd be watching them lower another member of her family into the ground. She had no idea how either of them was still upright. Erin shook her head trying to rid herself of the grief swelling up, threatening to consume her. Jay rubbed soft circles on her back. "It's okay Erin. You don't have to hold it in it right now," he encouraged her gently. But the dam wasn't ready to break, not just yet. There was one more person she needed to care for tonight. "How are you doing, you've been so quiet," she asked, placing her hand on his chest. Jay kissed the top of her head. How was he? He didn't know how to answer that but he knew his girl. She wouldn't give in to her own feelings until she'd cared for everyone else. He was upset of course, how could he not be? Lexie was a sweet girl and part of their family. Her death and the death of all those other kids was completely senseless. He respected and admired Al and had learned a lot from the man these past four years. Jay felt helpless to ease some of Al's pain. He didn't know what to say or do. Jay felt his heart being ripped out of his chest when Al asked him to thank Will. Thank him. How was Al so calm, so appreciative? If it had been Jay he'd probably want to lash out at Will for not being God and saving his daughter. He'd been slightly in awe of Al. Going to Al's house had been so difficult for Jay. It reminded him of visiting the wives of soldiers he'd lost but so much worse. Seeing Meredith grieve for her child was the kind of gut wrenching image he was sure a whole bottle of whisky couldn't erase from his head. He'd wanted to protest going but he knew it's what Erin needed and no way in hell was he not going to be there for her. Al had quietly ushered Jay to the garage and his relief at escaping the house was short lived when heavy silence fell between the men. Jay again felt helpless, having no idea how to convey his sympathy or say or do anything useful. It was once again Al who broke the silence. "Make sure the people you love know you love them," Al had said gruffly staring off across the room. "Because you just never know," he'd trailed off, throwing his whiskey back in one gulp. They made eye contact briefly and Jay nodded, words still not co operating with him. "Jay?" Erin asked lifting herself up to look at him. Jay shook himself out of his thoughts remembering Erin was waiting on him for an answer. "I'm okay, same as everyone I guess. Just wishing I could bring her back for them and you," he stroked her hair. His girl had been through so much the last months. Loosing Justin, the fallout of that affecting her relationship with Hank, her mother's cruel paternity scheme and now Lexie. "Mostly I'm worried about you," he admitted. "I know. I'm sorry for that, sorry for all the drama all the time," her voice laced with regret and exhaustion. "Don't be. I'm where I want to be," he said confidently. "Me too," her smile was tempered by the weight of the day's events but Jay knew she was telling the truth. She hadn't pulled from him like she used to when things got to much for her. That simple fact spoke volumes about where her head was at and where he stood in her life. It wasn't hard to be here for her when she willingly came to him. She snuggled back into him and they settled back into silence. Her tears didn't seem to want to come tonight but that was okay. They would eventually and Jay would wipe them away when they did. https://www.fanfiction.net/~justkillingtimewhileiwait http://archiveofourown.org/works/10066682

[oddsnendsfanfics]

Try to be Everything

Genre: Fan Fiction Pairing: Jai Courtney/OFC (Roo) Warnings: Language Rating: PG13 Length: Short Story Disclaimer: a strict work of fiction, I own nothing except the original characters and the plot line. In no way am I affiliated to any of it.

A/N: The title came from Marianas Trench’s song Perfect - in a way, it very loosely inspired this part. 

Read  House of Blues & Can You Not?

"Honey, be honest." Jai watched as Denzi threw a ball across the back yard for the bouncy dog to chase. "Am I crazy for doing this?"

"What? Crazy? Fuck no, Boomer." She laughed at such a question. "Look how excited he is!"

Earlier in the week, Jai had taken Denzi to the shelter to browse the selection of dogs. After an hour of learning about each dog they had met, Denzi insisted on the bouncy little Doxle named Dorito. The light brown dog had the biggest personality Jai had ever met, friendly with the right combination of spunk. Yesterday afternoon, Jai and Denzi returned to pick up their new little friend.

When she had arrived, the sight of the dog bounding around the yard had been a somewhat pleasant surprise. Being gone for a little over a week, a few things had changed – naturally. Dorito being the biggest and possibly best change.

"The joey's had a bit of a rough week." Jai pulled a cigarette from the red package on the patio table.

Going without saying, Denzi's rough week had been partly due to her leaving. She'd asked for a break and Jai had given her just that, but she could have at least explained to Denzi that she'd be going away. Escaping one morning, while he was at pre-school hadn't been her best plan.

"What did you tell him?" She asked jutting her chin in Denzi's direction.

"The truth." Jai shrugged, taking a drag from his cigarette. "A version of it, at least."

Watching Denzi chase after the dog in the yard, she sighed in attempt to keep back the next question. Jai would never talk ill of her to Denzi.

"He thinks you're away for work." Jai spoke, as if reading her mind. "Denzi is smart, eventually he'll know something is going on."

"So, let me guess, the dog was a distraction tactic?"

Jai flicked an ash into the tray sitting on the rail next to him, sucking air between his teeth. "It's been working. The joey is obsessed and he hardly talks about anything else."

"Nice plan."

"You're sure?" Jai questioned, laughing when the short legged dog stumbled a little trying to stop in order to get the bright orange ball.

"A dog is good. Plus, it's good for him to have a tiny bit of responsibility."

Jai had promised Denzi a dog under a few conditions: Denzi had to help feed the dog. He had to play with the dog at least two hours a day – wearing both dog and child out, and finally if they were going to keep a dog then Denzi had to follow every single rule given to them by the shelter. No rough housing, no hitting or screaming at Dorito, and absolutely no sneaking him any type of food unless an adult said it was okay.

24 Hours in and already Dorito seemed to be absolutely relaxed and happy to be in his new home. The three year old was placed in the shelter when his former owner had passed unexpectedly; she knew how it was trying to find your place after something like that. The light brown blur whizzed by Denzi barking and yelping with excitement as the little boy tried to throw the ball as far as he could.

"He adores you for this, you know." She smiled, nudging Jai in the side with her elbow. "A dog, you're the greatest dad in the universe."

"I just want him happy, ya know? The joey's a good kid and he deserves to have all the things that make a little boy happy." Jai would give Denzi the world, if Denzi asked for it and truly felt he wanted or needed it.

"I know you would, you big softy." She giggled, leaning into him.

"He uh, he wanted you there too, you know." The words tumbled out before Jai could stop them.

In no way was he trying to make her feel like shit, okay a little, for what she had done. If that is how she ended up feeling, then it wasn't entirely undeserving.

"Oh." Her smile faded and her joyful giggle seized. Adverting her gaze to her feet, she swallowed a forming lump.

This was a consequence of her actions. There was nobody to blame but herself. She could try to blame Jai, saying he could have called, but why? He wasn't the one who had asked for a break and then slipped away.

"What happened, it shouldn't have." Jai's jaw was firmly set. His arms were folded across his chest and his eyes brooding. "I don't know what's wrong with us, but I want to fix it."

"What if we can't fix it?" She glanced up at him, her bottom lip between her teeth and her eyes seconds from being tear soaked.

"Nothing is ever that broken, you can't try to fix it." Jai cleared his throat. Hesitantly he took a step closer to her, his gaze kept straight ahead. "Come on, Roo. Can we at least sit down, as adults, and try?"

"What if we weren't supposed to be together? What if we were always meant to be the best friend? I mean we argued a lot less." She scoffed and tried to force a small smirk.

Jai squared his shoulders and shook his head, "I don't believe that for a second." Glancing sideways at her, he studied her from the corner of his eye. "We are great as mates, but we're even better when we're more."

"Are we? I treat you like shit. I treat everyone who loves me like shit. Why would you want to subject yourself to that?"

Calling across the yard to Denzi, to watch where he threw the ball, Jai turned and paused. A light shade of gray clouded his blue eyes, a concerned look crossing his handsome features, his jaw held clenched.

"Why do you do that? Put yourself down. Babe, you're not a bad person." he offered. "You are one of the most caring people I know, you care so much that it scares you and you panic."

"Really?" She returned his gaze with a skeptical look. "Is that it? I'm such a bleeding heart, I can't control my emotions and I let them run me?"

A slight shake of his head, Jai rested his elbows on the wooden rail of the deck. In the time that they had known one another, Jai had paid attention enough to know when she was scared.

"Part of it, yeah." He nodded his head forward. "It's okay to be scared, I've been fucking terrified.  I don't want us to end up hating each other or having a ton of fucking regrets, because of something stupid. At the same time, I don't want to watch you with someone else and I don't want to be with someone else."

Scared? Jai?

Could have fooled her.

If he was as terrified as he said, he did a fantastic job at hiding it – Mr. I Love You and I'm All In.

There is was, in the open. Once again, Jai had taken the lead in saying what he was feeling. Whether or not she followed suit, he didn't really care right now. The pattern they had fell into, with the fights and discontent, was absolute shit and it had to change.

She'd asked for a break, Jai had been more than okay with her taking it, but now he wanted her home. A week and three days wasn't truly a break, it was hardly enough time for a normal person to sort anything out, but the truth was Jai was miserable. Maybe that was the problem? Maybe he needed her more than she needed him?

"This doesn't mean you have to come back or anything," Jai picked up his words. "I don't want to make it sound like I'm trying to pressure you."

A change of pace.

Wringing her hands, her back rested against the rail, mind swimming with scenarios and outcomes of a prolonged relationship with Jai. Over the last week, she had thought about Jai, about Denzi, and their place in her life almost constantly. The father and son were a huge part of her life, no matter how she tried to view it. Life without them had been okay, almost six years into this and she couldn't imagine not having Jai around.

Her biggest fear, as cliche as it would sound, was the nagging worry of Jai leaving. If he got bored or things got rough. Pinching the bridge of her nose, she managed a slow still breath. "Do you know what my issue is?"

"I'm all ears, babe." Jai encouraged, glancing over to make sure Denzi and Dorito were safe. The pair were sitting under the swing set, Denzi happily scratching Dorito's belly.

"It's silly and very childish, but I'm always scared of losing people. I don't want to go back to that place, it's not pretty and I hate that version of me." Her voice was quiet. "What if you get bored with me? Or something bad happens and I'm left alone, again?"

Shit!

Why hadn't Jai saw that coming? It was a rather obvious issue, coming from her.

How could he promise that he wouldn't leave her? He didn't have a crystal ball and he couldn't tell the future. Gently squeezing her arm, Jai spoke up. "You do know that if I decide this isn't what I truly want, I'll tell you first."

"What about when things get serious? Are you going to want more than a casual live in girlfriend?"

Of course! Who did she think he was? His dream of four kids still stood. If she were part of that, the dream became even more appealing. In the past, Jai hadn't been the greatest at expressing that desire. If she weren't up for it, then having Denzi was enough.

"We'll cross that off the list when, if, we get to it." Jai replied calmly. "Would being married with kids be that bad?"

"Oh, Jai. I want kids, I do, but I can't put myself through that." She shook her head, shoving her hands in her pockets and rocking back and forth on her heels. "I was losing my mind and he just left. He decided having an affair was better than dealing with it and..." She drew in a deep breath, slowly exhaling. "You have no idea what's going on, do you?"

"Not really." Jai frowned.

Out of all the events and details Jai knew, this was one of the three – maybe four- things that she'd never shared. The time and conversation had never arose before now. Biting her bottom lip, she blinked, turning to face Jai. Head high, she opened her mouth, this was better if she didn't think.

"When I got married, I was pregnant. I was far enough to know I didn't want to do it alone and I was stupidly in love, or so I thought." She scoffed at the idea. "I had what is called an incomplete miscarriage, it was around 14 weeks or so. Anyway, I had to have a very minor procedure and everything was fine. Well, not fine...oh fuck I'm rambling again."

"You never told me that." Jai stood still, allowing this new information to process. "I had no idea, oh shit. Roo."

"No!" She held up her finger to stop him. "No, it was a long time ago and for a long time, I thought it was my fault or I had done something to deserve it. I didn't, it was just something that happens. Okay? Okay, I'm good. I'm okay with it, now. It's not fair to not tell you, so there it is."

"Okay." Jai nodded feeling like a weight had been attached to his head. "Well, thank you. I think? For telling me."

"And what if we get married what about Denzi?" Jai gave her a rather confused look, after a loaded confession, she goes straight to concern for Denzi? "Do I adopt him? Does he stay yours and only yours? Do you want me to be his mom?"

If they were in that situation, Jai absolutely wanted her to adopt Denzi. Before they could finalize that, they had to get in some time being a couple. Not only a couple, but a couple who weren't at one another constantly. When and if the time came, Jai would only allow her to adopt Denzi if it were something that she truly wanted.

"Roo, this stuff is years away. We don't need to stress over it." Jai cautioned, attempting to ease her mind. "All we need to worry about, in this moment, is that you don't need to be scared. I love you, Denzi loves you, and if you want to be with me then I'm fine taking it as slowly as you'd like."

"Thank you." She offered a rather dashed out smile. "I'm sorry for all of this ranting. I'm sorry for the tantrums and for being a bitch, too. I'm sorry for walking out and for taking out my personal issues on you."

I'm Sorry.

Two words Jai hadn't expected to hear from her, not in full sincerity. Hands shoved in her pockets, she tucked her chin in to her chest, blowing out a loud breath. A sincere apology wasn't easy to come by, not at first. Jai had become the victim of circumstance, to no true fault of his own.

"You know, I wish that I could take it and that be it." Jai spoke up, his eyes locked on Denzi. "Sorry? It's nice to hear, but Roo, it's not something that a few words can smooth over and everything be okay."

"I know." Her voice was hushed.

"Okay, good. I want to accept it, but I can't. Not yet." Jai rubbed his hands across his face. He needed more than a few words, although they were a start. "I can't just let you walk back in like nothing's happened. You've hurt me and you've hurt Denzi, what am I to do?"