#hooboy did I love writing this!

[ladykailitha]

Paper Hearts Part 2

I'm loving the response for this. Thank you so much!!!

In this we have a couple of cameos, Steve gets into some trouble and Eddie comes to his rescue.

Pt 1

****

Steve checked with the nurse on Monday, more as a precaution then because his hand was feeling worse. Because Eddie was right. If he didn’t take care of himself no else would.

She signed off on the hand and said that it was doing better, but to still take it easy for a couple more days.

He tried to focus in class, but he was buzzing out of his skin with barely contained excitement.

Finally it was time for lunch and he ducked into library. He pulled out the year book and began jotting down a few names. He decided to stick to just seniors as that would prevent people thinking he was being a creep and of course the add bonus of avoiding a certain Junior’s ire.

Once he got about twenty names compiled he took the list up to the girls manning the paper hearts booth.

“Hey,” he greeted warmly.

“How can I help you?” the blonde haired girl asked.

“These can be anonymous right?” Steve asked chewing on his bottom lip.

The other girl, a cute bubbly red-head in a cheerleader’s uniform smiled up at him. “Sure! Is there a certain lady you would like to buy a red heart for?”

He shook his head. “Um...no. Can I get twenty pink hearts please?”

The two girls shared a shocked glance.

“How many?” the blonde asked.

“Twenty.” Steve pulled out his wallet and handed them two ten dollar bills.

The stunned blonde took the money as the red-head counted out the twenty pink hearts.

“There you go!” she said cheerfully. “Thank you for your donation!”

“I just have one question,” Steve asked. “Why are a couple of juniors manning the booth for senior prom?”

The girls’ jaws dropped in surprise that he recognized them as juniors.

The blonde managed to overcome her shock first. “They were asking for volunteers. We get extra credit.”

Steve nodded. “Thanks, ladies!”

He turned around and nearly collided with Munson.

“Oof!” he cried. “Sorry!”

Munson eyed him warily. “Why so many pink hearts, Harrington?” He crossed his arms and licked his bottom lip slowly.

Steve looked back at the two girls and then back at him. “I don’t have a girlfriend this year and but still have all this money, so I thought that instead of blowing it on junk food and soda to be all sad that night, I do something nice with the money.”

Eddie cocked his head to the side and considered him a moment. “And what would that be?”

Steve blushed and looked down at the paper hearts in his hands. He mumbled something Eddie couldn’t quite catch.

“Say that again?”

“I said I was going to write something nice for the girls not likely to get one,” he hissed, this time loud enough for the other boy to hear, but no one else.

Eddie blinked at him a moment. “Oh. That’s actually really sweet of you.”

Steve’s blush deepened and promptly turned on his heel and dashed away.

The red-head asked, “What was all that about?”

Eddie looked over at Chrissy Cunningham, the girl he had no doubt would be queen of Hawkins high next year with her perfect boyfriend, her bubbly personality, and cheerful nature.

He debated telling her what Steve’s plan was, but he didn’t want to ruin it for the guy.

“I honestly don’t know.”

Which to be fair was true. He didn’t know what that was about. How former king of Hawkins could be so sweet? Because hooboy did that throw a wrench in Eddie’s plans to never ever give into his crush on the guy. If Steve wasn’t the bitchy, annoying jock anymore than that last bastion of defense was going to fall and he would be like every other girl with a pair of eyes at this school.

In love with Steve Harrington.

He opened his wallet and counted how much money he had. He rationed gas and other expenses before he nodded to himself.

He walked over to the booth and asked for a single red heart.

“Ooh...” the blonde girl cooed. “Who’s the lucky lady?”

Eddie noticed her for the first as he handed her the money. It was Robin Buckley from band. Eddie had tried it out for a semester hoping to get enough credits to graduate last year. It didn’t work. But he recognized a fellow queer when he saw one.

“Maybe I’m sending it to myself?” he teased.

Chrissy giggled into her hand. “That’s what I would do if I didn’t have a boyfriend.”

Robin blushed a dark pink.

“You’d never have to worry about that,” Eddie said.

She handed him the heart and he thanked her before heading on his way.

****

Steve suddenly felt self-conscious after telling Munson what he was going to to. But he resolved to go through with his plan.

That night he painstakingly wrote each girl’s name and something nice he remembered about them. Once he was finished he used a paper clip to keep them together and put it between the pages of his English workbook for safety.

He finished his homework. Or at least he tried to. After about an hour, the words on the pages started to blur.

It didn’t help that it was chemistry and that just made his head spin. He would have called Dustin, but the kid would have just done it for him after five minutes of trying to explain it to him.

He decided it was time for a break.

Steve stood up and stretched. Below him he could hear the hum of the TV in his father’s den and the prattling of his mother on the phone. He wasn’t sure how they managed it in a house as big as theirs but they always made sure Steve was aware they were home.

He always thought it was a weird control thing they had. They were always gone on trips but when they were home they made sure he knew it.

He changed into a pair of sweats, grabbed a jacket and pulled on his Nikes, having decided that a run would be the perfect thing to wake him up so that he could finish his homework. He stood by the front doors and stretched out his legs, making sure they were warmed up enough.

Steve was finishing the last of his stretches when his mother came out the kitchen.

“And where do you think you’re going, young man?” she hissed.

He looked at her in confusion. He had one leg bent all the way back so that his foot was nearly touching his ass. He was managing his balance by using his free hand to touch the door frame.

“Going for a run?” he said, making the statement more of a question.

“At this time of night?” Mrs. Harrington said sharply.

Steve looked at his watch and then back up at her, again in confusion. It was only a little after five o’clock in the evening.

“I wanted to get it before it too dark to,” he explained.

She looked at her watch and then huffed, storming back into the kitchen.

That was the problem with his mother. You could never tell when she was just going to let it go or fly off the handle.

Steve let out a shuddering breath and then opened the door. He closed it behind him and sighed.

He should have told her he was going for a run, but even with them making noise, he had forgotten that he was supposed to tell them where he was going. Having gotten too used to them not being home.

He let out a shiver as he shook his arms to warm them up. If he had been doing anything other than running he would have worn a warmer coat, but while he was cold now, he sure as hell wasn’t going to be in five minutes.

Steve took off running. Just sprinting down the street to get away from his parents, his responsibilities, his troubles, and his cares. He got to the end of the street and slowed his sprint into a marathon. Going for endurance over speed.

He wasn’t sure how long he ran only that when he stopped for breath he was standing in front of a large sign that read: Forest Hills Trailer Park. He squinted up at it like he was seeing things.

Despite what the haves in Loch Nora thought, the trailer park was a lot closer than they wanted it to be. It was literally on the other side of the forest behind his house. But as he hadn’t taken off through the forest, he was a little surprised to be standing there, hands on his hips and panting for breath.

If he was going to mindlessly go somewhere he thought for sure he would have ended up at the Hendersons.

But, nope.

Steve ran his fingers through his hair. How was he supposed to get home now? He squinted down at his watch trying to make out the time, but full dark had taken a hold on this god forsaken town and he couldn’t make out shit.

He wasn’t even sure he could find the entrance to the forest that would lead him back home. Not that he wanted to go through that part of the woods this late at night. The Department of Energy’s assurances be damned.

“Fuck!”

He heard the vehicle before he saw the headlights. He stepped out of the way and hoped that whoever it was would be willing to give him a lift home.

“Fuck!” he cursed again.

Because it was Munson. Of course it was. This day was really out to get him.

“Harrington!” Munson called out, slowing to stop next to him. “What the hell are you doing here?”

Steve buried his head in his hands. He had to take a chance with Munson because he didn’t know if there would even be someone else coming in anytime in the near future.

“Would you believe me if I told you I got lost?” he asked, hands back on his hips.

Munson laughed and threw open his passenger side door. “Get in, dumbass. I have to stop at my place to let my uncle know I’m taking you home.”

Steve nodded and walked in front of the van. Mainly because that’s where the lights where, but also because he didn’t want Munson to drive off without him. If he tried that, he’d have to run Steve over. Which at this point would have been an improvement.

He hopped into the van and closed the door. “Thanks. I’m serious about the getting lost thing though.” He buckled in.

Munson gunned it and then gave him the side eye. “Yeah, how does that work for a Hawkins native?”

“Because I’m not?” Steve said. “I moved here when I was eight. I’m no more a native than you are, man.”

Munson slammed on the breaks, Steve’s hand shooting out in front of him. “Wait, you’re really not a Hawkins native?”

He shook his head. “I swear it.”

Munson started going down the road again. “So you managed to get lost?”

“Yeah, I sometimes run to get out of my head,” he explained. “I somehow I ended up here.” He looked at the road out in front of him. “My parents are probably going to kick my ass when I get home. I left before dinner and there is no way it’s not way passed that now.”

Munson pressed a button on his watch and it lit up. “Yeah, man. It’s almost seven.”

Suddenly every muscle in Steve’s body started screaming in protest.

“Shit,” he muttered and he buried his head in his hands. “I’ve been running for about two hours.”

Munson slammed on his breaks again. “The fuck, Harrington!”

“I know!” Steve cried. “I barely warmed up and I didn’t have any water with me. But I didn’t mean to run that long. I thought I was just going to go around the block a couple of times and then go in for dinner.”

“We’re getting you water and food before I send you home, man,” Munson mutter. “And I don’t want to hear a god damn complaint from you. Do you understand? Even I’m not stupid enough to go for two hours without stopping for breaks and drinking water.”

Steve just nodded. He had already gotten yelled at by Munson about not taking care of himself, he wasn’t about to endure another lecture.

****

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8

Tag List:

1- @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

2- @spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie

3- @chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach @danili666

4- @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

5- @justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690

6- @anne-bennett-cosplayer @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

7- @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt

8- @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @swimmingbirdrunningrock

9- @croatoan-like-its-hot @lolawonsstuff @moonshadows-13

[epersonae]

You've made me mad with power. Director's Cut of "I Spit On Your Grave", please.

Obviously I wanted -- no, needed -- to write a fic where Stede finds out what actually happened with Izzy while he was gone.

It is a key aspect of my Bad Ending fic in case I never make it through to where you are that Stede does NOT know, because I think otherwise he would have actually killed Izzy in that fic. I had a lovely long conversation with my therapist about that, both that fic generally and this question of knowing what was done to someone you love who is gone. Because HOOBOY did s2 kick up all my feelings about Ryn's parents, especially their mother; there was a piece of information that I found out after Ryn died that made me so angry I did seriously have a full-blown panic attack about it.

So yeah, I was always going to write something, but part of my writing process especially with shorter works is that I need a hook, something to get me into it -- an image or a sentence, something concrete to pull together whatever messy ideas have been spinning around in the blender.

And of course, I might have written it sooner (and it would have been a different fic) but I did break my leg right before Christmas, and that basically took me out not just physically but also mentally for about two months. I actually started making some notes in late January but I didn't have any stamina to do the writing until late February.

I knew the hook was going to be a bit back from the actual harm -- I've been fascinated by this question of how Izzy never says that "his captain" is actually Blackbeard since way back in my first watches of the show, and then there's kind of a running joke around here about how Stede always leads describing the meet-cute with "so I'd been gut-stabbed" like babygirl what. And the phrase "just happened upon our ship" or whatever that is, when MY DUDE HE'S BEEN FOLLOWING YOU THIS WHOLE TIME. The whole thing has this mix of Izzy having been lying through his teeth and Stede being hilariously oblivious that cries out for something to dig into.

And then I saw this post by @iamadequate1, and OH OKAY. Because weaponized therapy language and isolation in emotional abuse is something that, well. Yeah. Plus it had all the relevant bits of dialogue in one post! Plus I'd been thinking about Izzy as an unreliable narrator for almost two years, and I'd been thinking specifically about people with uhhhhhh a "flexible relationship with the truth" (to use a line from the fic), and a tendency to say different things to different people in order to evade responsibility.

So I made some notes, according to the document history at the end of January, and then probably either went back to sleep or back to watching Perry Mason. Came back to it in late February, and the first two-thirds or so came together pretty quickly and then I got stuck. I knew I wanted something with Stede yelling at the grave, but I'd sort of written myself into a corner where that didn't seem to be happening. (Basically, got to the point where he holds Ed while Ed is crying.)

And then I saw THIS post by @celluloidbroomcloset, and something clicked together about "doggie heaven" and the parallel with Ned Low, and somehow that was the rug that tied the room together. Probably because also they're both dead, Izzy and Ned, and that leads to this question of the impossibility of revenge, and that so much of the time there's just nothing you can do, really, and that also hurts. Even if they're not dead; there's just no point, like what the fuck are you gonna do, exactly? Which is sort of where the Mary parallel comes in, I think, and also not giving Izzy credit for bringing them together, because that's all them.

All in all this is a really special fic for me, trying to find this balancing point where things are pretty good for them, actually, but they still need to work through their respective hurts and be properly seen -- fill in all the blanks so they can move forward.

[shiny-meowstics]

squats over here, anyway i picked up a pmd romhack (PMD Explorers of the Spirit) on a whim since i'd seen friends talking about it here and there and i was curious. and hooboy. pmd brainrot is not back in full force but I Have Thoughts about this romhack and they are all good

ful stop, i will be talking about spoilers. they are spoilers for both pmd2 and the romhack, so if you haven't experienced either I don't recommend reading through any of this. the dialogue may be a little dated but i still wholly endorse pmd2 (vanilla or sky) as something that should be experienced blind, and this romhack is a neat little treat for people who have experienced all of what pmd2 had to offer story-wise in a lot of ways.

so, spoiler warning! you have been warned! cool? cool

so anyway i knew from second 1 that the protag was darkrai. my nerd-ass has played through pmd2 way too often and is too particular about word choice to not have picked up on that immediately. i was wary, but considering "hero is darkrai" is a neat fandom theory i decided to let the game cook and see what it had to offer

and holy fucking shit i love this approach to that concept. these madlads really made a stealth sequel that is faithful to the original game, still keeps the time travel shenanigans and has them make sense narratively (!!!), and gives a lot more depth and development to a good chunk of characters. ESPECIALLY the protag, i really really like the direction the game chose to go. writing a protag that's intense but still relatable can be a challenge, but protag hits a nice balance that isn't too intense but, again, also makes sense considering the circumstances

i'm only a little over halfway through (in the nightmare section, just did the unwinnable boss fight with grovyle) but i'm hella looking forward to how it ends 👀 two darkrais technically existing at the same time but one having a support system that the other lacked is just. chef's kiss. that's gonna be some tasty conflict later, i can tell

slightly relatedly it is Once Again Giving Me some heron brainworms bc 1) i am playing as "heron" and ramsay and 2) is kicking my brain with the "haha, heron and darkrai might've had a lot of similarities and the only thing that kept them down to earth were their friends."

considering my original idea for them was to make them affiliated with darkrai, i am just... sitting here thinking... i do kind of want to draw darkrai!heron, bc i'd like to imagine that even though they'd look really similar, there are probably some minor key differences that would make confronting "them" if you were familiar with them kind of uncanny

but yeah, we love a game that plays into my love of a) time travel stories b) meaningful doppelgangers and c) arguably morally grey characters that can just as easily be seen as bad if your perspective were slightly different

[valkyrayn]

hellooo first of wanted to say i absolutely love your writings secondly idk if youve gotten/read Engravings yet and i wont spoil anything but hooboi learning marius has easily marked skin and that his office windows are one way only 🤞🏻

just imagining sitting in his lap in the office, fingers trailing over his chest and unbuttoning his shirt as your hands move down, and the entire time he's watching you with a smirk, leaning back against the couch comfortably as he tugs you closer, fingers digging into your hips, purple gaze glimmering with lust as he watches you intently

his head falls back as you lean down, his gaze never leaving you, a content sigh leaving him when he finally feels your lips brush against his collarbone, lightly at first, leaving no trace behind. when his sigh reaches your ears, you go further, sucking lightly before pulling back to see the immediate effect it has on his skin. seeing your mark on him on fuels your lust more, and his smirk deepens when he notices your gaze darken, watching as you lower your head to mark him again. his fingers twitch against your waist, a signal of his wavering self restraint as he feels your continuous open mouthed kisses and the occasional nips you place to vary the color on his skin, as if you were an artist and he was your canvas

the only thing helping him hold back is the idea of knowing he had these marks that no one else could see, marks that you gave him

that alone helps him stop himself from railing you as soon as possible, instead letting you take your time before he finally got to take control

this ended up so much longer than expected HELP idk if anyone else has taken this emote yet or not but i'll use 🌙 anon if that's ok aksksks

anon omg thank you so much for feeding me i’m (s)CREAMING HELLO I LOVE UR MIND

please ever since that card dropped on the cn server, i have never been the same. pretty sure that was the start of everything, how i became so unhinged and horny over marius 24/7

the fact that he’s doing THAT to her when there are people walking just outside his office?!?! he’s so insane for that fuck him and his horny ass i hate him sm. i’m not even coherent rn thinking about this so thanks for writing this AMAZING brainrot cus now i can’t stop imagining it

you just KNOW he’d let you sit on him (AND HE ACTUALLY DID ON HIS LAP DJEJSKS DURING A FUCKING CALL I CANT BELIEVE THIS IS REAL) and let you tease him like that. his fingers sinking into your skin as you grind yourself against him GODBSJDKS and then of course it ends with him fucking you until you’re a mess everywhere in his office 🫦

[outpost51]

Happy WBW!

Tell me your top 5 favorite world building aspects of Mass Effect! Convince me to play :)

~tabswrites

OH MAN TESS YOU HAVE. COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE BUT ALSO THE WRONG ONE LMAO

So, to preface, I have been writing and building my own little sandbox within the Mass Effect universe since 2013ish — therefore, my view on canon worldbuilding is uhhhhhhhh

That being said, for an IP that’s so reliant on the player’s own choices, I think they did a great job (whether intentionally or not) leaving us enough to work with but also enough space to do our own thing. SO.

1. Nothing is black and white. Like, there are no “good” aliens and “bad” aliens — everybody’s a little fucked up (or a lot fucked up) the deeper you dig. Especially when you put on your Critical Thinking Cap™️ like me and The Co-Conspirators (s/o to @sparatus, @thetrashbagswasteland, and @teamdilf heyyyyyy) and realize the whole story is told from the perspective of your Shepard and that the asari have definitely manipulated the Alliance… hooboy.

2. Really fucking cool locations. Sometimes I just get in the Mako and go for a drive, y’know? But also, and I cannot emphasize this enough, read the little bios when you scan the planets. There’s a lot of really neat shit hidden in those!!

3. The krogan. Like, just in general. Also varren. I love varren a completely normal amount.

4. Andromeda had really fuckin sick worldbuilding (particularly animals) for how badly it was shafted by EA and I will die on this hill.

5. Again, they left room for us in the sandbox. Taetrus isn’t even on the galaxy map. I’ve populated it, given it a history, created a chain of Primarchs and how they were subsequently Removed From Office, made wildlife — you get it. Like, should you play to get a feel for the Plot and Story and Mechanics and Existing Worldbuilding? Yes. But it has such a narrow focus, and the galaxy is So Big. Join us. >:3

[neonghostcat]

A musing on self-indulgence

I wrote another post and decided to put that one in the queue for Thursday so I could post this on its own.

I effectively just had a self-therapy session and thought it might be potentially interesting to other people.

Behind the cut, I start out talking about the reception The Guardian Ghost fic had, realizations about Cultivate, and my writing in general. I was literally realizing these things as I wrote them, so it's not very well organized.

Please feel free to keep scrolling. ;)

Guardian Ghost is straight up murdering Blanket Fort's stats.

By the time this post works its way out of the queue and gets posted it will most likely have become the fic with the most views on my account. (As I write this, it only has ~100 views to go.)

It already earned more than 2x the number of subs while live and more than twice the comment threads. It's not even that far behind in Kudos and Bookmarks.

I don't want this to come across as bragging because that's not it, but I've been overwhelmed this entire time by the reception the story has got. I sincerely appreciate it, no question! It's just blowing my mind a bit.

I think that a huge part of me being very stunned by it is because even now, after all 11 chapters are out and people enjoyed it, there is still a part of me that's somewhat apologetic about how I let the story get away from me and indulged all those whims I had.

Intellectually I know there's no reason to apologize. Even if people hated the choices I'd made for the story (which people did not, everyone has been fully on-board the whole time), it'd be perfectly fine!

I think it's touching on some unexplored/unresolved... "fandom trauma" I suppose? Or maybe more I am realizing I have internalized so many 'good writers/stories don't do [x]' destructive mandates/bad advice over the many years I've been a writer. And the very positive reception to me saying, "WHATEVER, this is my pretend-birthday fic, so I get to write whatever the hell I want!" is making me realize...

...wtf Dobby has always been free. The only chains are those I bind myself with.

This is especially good to understand because now I 'get' my hesitance with finishing Cultivate and why I kept working on other stories. I effectively applied a similar mindset and I was nervous about its reception, so I just worked on other things that were a little less indulgent.

Not that I'm saying any of my fics for SVSSS have been anything less than self-indulgent, but I'm usually indulging in the relationships part.

It's very indulgent of me to write SY/SQQ as a sort of gentle scholar on the outside and goofy nerd on the inside who shows more of himself to the people he feels closest and safest to do so with.

It's indulgent of me to have one of them be Binghe, and the two of them have adopted each other as family. And if I write him being romantically interested in his shizun (which I rarely do), any jealousy is rooted in puppy love, not a fear of losing a sense of family with his shizun. (Because he gets to be secure that he is shizun's family.)

It's unquestionably indulgent of me to write Liu Qingge as a taciturn badass who goes stupidly soft for SY/SQQ and is like an awkward, but very courtly knight rather the often stupid-awkward and blistering guy from half the scenes with him in the book. Because as much as I still love the book LQG, I liked the more chill and thoughtful hawk of a man from the animation. That was a guy who'd size you up and eviscerate as necessary. And I make him soft because I'll fite anyone who says that's not who he is inside (book or animation version), ah! 🤭

And, hooboy is it indulgent of me to give everyone (especially Binghe) friends. Even if mostly I've hinted at a deeper friendship rather than fully explored it, I make it clear these friendships either exist behind the scenes or are ready to grow at any time, just add water.

But when it comes to plots? Not nearly as indulgent as I could be.

I love all my fics for the fandom. There are few things I've written that I'm as proud of as these.

But every time people have commented on The Guardian Ghost loving those things I just said, "Fuck it - I'm adding it."? I've got super emotional.

There's a good reason why it can take me hours to answer all the comments. There have been a few more than usual, sure, but it's mostly because everyone's been so supportive I've had to take breaks and focus on work so I could think about how to respond and not sound like a hot mess, lol.

Is it too sappy to say thank you to the people who basically in aggregate forced me to realize that I'm not having BadWrongFun that no one will want to read? It's a bit embarrassing to realize it took this for me to finally give myself permission.

Anyway!

It helps me internalize things like this by thinking through them and writing them down. And maybe someone else will need to hear something like this too, so I'm sharing it.

[mizufae]

Okay season 4 of stranger things did indeed kick ass, despite the absolute lack of surprise at the big twist reveal whatever (unsure if it was supposed to be a surprise considering how many clear markers in direction and character design and voice and story style there were???) because each beat that they wanted to hit felt really awesome and intense each time so that was rad. Unsure about the very last bit of the last episode cuz like, way to force Netflix to renew, but also talk about a lack of resolution. Anyway, ignoring that bit, I look forward to now reading the vast amount of double OT3 fic that’s out there. Cuz that’s out there, right? RIGHT??? But more so I look forward to scraping around for bits and pieces of my super problematic troublesome rarepair canoe because hooboy does this season set it up nicely, yknow, if I’m being problematic. Okay okay big reveal: Steve/Dustin is the canoe. SHUT UP OKAY, IT WORKS. I SHIPPED IT SINCE THE FIRST SEASON LIKE SOME KINDA FREAK. I DONT KNOW. THEY HAVE CHEMISTRY. LEAVE ME ALONE TO DIE. The things they each loved about Nancy in season one are the things they like best about each other!!! Anyway. Moving past that, if Will doesn’t get to have magic powers in season five I might have to write a strongly worded letter to someone. Also, he needs a slutty rebound boyfriend who will give him an impulsively awesome 80s new wave haircut and then they break up when Will decides he’s just using new boy for repressed gay feelings but new boy was fully aware and didn’t mind?? But like whatever, why so serious, etc. meanwhile in the background everyone else is decapitating monsters or whatever. Oops I need to stop before I write fanfic. OKAY BYE

[chicken-choice-judy-vevo]

well, here it is, the third ever rymin fanfic on ao3

thank you SO much to @lakesbian for the inspiration! <3

[astrxd]

Hey I’m just another anon who stumbles across your tumblr and fell in love with your drabbles, so I thought why not request one. Could you write a one shot about Hiccstrid at the beginning of their relationship in Astrid’s POV, and getting super excited every time Hiccup would hold her hand or touch her at all in whatever small way, finally super happy about the reminders that they’re not “just friends” anymore? Thank you so much!!!

A/N: thank you for the request!!

as a note, this story ignores the RTTE timeline – the two have been together since the end of the first movie and their relationship has progressed over that period of time. i would say, for reference, maybe it’s a year or so into their relationship? or something? hiccup also brings up his map idea and asks astrid to help.

anyhoo! i’m really sorry for not writing this sooner, but… i hope you still enjoy it. :-) titled “(can i be close to you?)” after the song “bloom” by the paper kites!

… 

She was used to being the one who initiated the physical contact between them, whether it was just brushed shoulders or a kiss on the cheek or a hug. It wasn’t like Astrid was unhappy with the pace of their relationship, seeing as there were still a bunch of boundaries that needed to be drawn and waters that needed to be tested, but… Whenever Hiccup was the one to reach out, the places he touched turned into epicenters of little tremors and lightning bolts crackled through her veins and made her heart skip a beat.

And, as foreign and unfamiliar as it was, it was nice.

[read it on AO3 here!]

[themadlostgirl]

Not Dead Yet (Part 18)

*I have been staring at this chapter for days debating with myself over the development. But you all have given me such love and I like this chapter too much to change it. Hope you like it too!*

Pairing: Reader x Peter Pan

Warnings: language

“Wakey wakey.” I shook Pan awake the next morning. “We have a lot of walking to do.”

“For god’s sake woman, why do you have to get up so early?” he rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

“Stop complaining. You’re the one that wanted to get to a town so let’s go.” It seemed to take him a moment to remember what had happened yesterday. When he came to he gave me a dirty look and spent the next ten minutes grumbling about getting us stuck in this situation.

“So, Pan, any idea on how we’re going to find a way back home?”

“Hit up the black markets and dodgy parts of town. We’re bound to find something sooner or later.” he shrugged, “Also, it might be safer for you to stop calling me Pan when we’re here.”

“Why?”

“Enchanted Forest. I’ve made some enemies, most of them from here. If they were to catch wind of me being here with no way to escape then it could prove rather bad for us.”

“What do you want me to call you? Andrew? Robert? Eugene?”

“Peter will suffice.” he rolled his eyes, “Don’t look so giddy, it’s just my name.”

“Yeah, but you never let anyone call you by your first name.”

“Details, details…”

“Well, glad to have the non-honor, Peter.”

He shoved me but I could tell it was in good spirits. I knocked him back and we kept shoving each other like that until I ended up body slamming him to the ground. He stared up at me in shock before an oddly calm grin took over his features. “You are gonna pay for that one, Lost Girl!”

“Only if you can catch me!” I took off running and he followed after me. When he did catch up he tackled me to the ground. “Nice one, Pete.”

He turned me over and cocked an eyebrow up at me. “What? Don’t like Pete?”

“No.” he said in a very serious tone that made me chuckle. “Something funny?”

“No, no...you just got so serious.” I teased.

“Come on,” he pulled me up.

“I guess I can’t call you Petey then either, huh?”

At this his eye started twitching. “Calm down I was just joking. You need to find yourself a sense of humor.”

After a couple hours Peter and I found a town and using some money I pickpocketed got a room in the inn. Sleeping outside was no problem but it was freezing here. One small room with only one bed and a hard wooden chair created some issues. It took some serious arguing on my end to get him to even allow me to stay in the room. According to him since it was my fault we were stuck here I should have slept on the floor but I reminded him that we only got this room from the money I pickpocketed so I deserved it more. In the end we ended up having to share the bed which, let me tell you, wasn’t easy!

“Keep your feet on your side!” I shoved his freezing feet away from me.

“Well I would if you didn’t hog all the blankets!”

“Maybe you’d be warmer if you put a shirt on!”

“I can’t sleep with a shirt on! You’re not wearing any pants!”

“Cause they’re caked with mud!”

“For the love of--” he yanked hard on the blanket, pulling more to his side.

“I don’t have any now!”

“How about you complain about it more, I’m sure that’ll warm you up.”

“Fine, I don’t need a blanket. My seething anger will keep me warm.”

“Sounds good to me.” he rolled over so his back was to me. I curled into myself trying to retain some body heat and eventually drifted off to sleep.

The ringing of bells woke me up the next morning. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and realized I was alone in the room. Where had Peter gone so early in the morning? As if he knew I was thinking about him Peter strode back in with a bundle of clothing and wearing something that wasn’t his. “What’s all this?”

“If we’re going to be stuck here we need to blend in or else the townspeople are going to think we’re nothing but bandits.” he threw me some clothes, “Get dressed.”

“Alright.” I stood up and stripped out of my old worn shirt and into the dress Peter had found me. “Do I have to wear a dress?”

“Stop complaining.” he tossed me my dagger. “Also keep that concealed, nothing screams suspicious than a girl with a bloody knife.”

After we were dressed we left to get some breakfast and look around the village. It was a rather large village bustling with activity and a castle way up on the horizon. I wonder whose kingdom we were in?

We went around to some seedy shops looking for some form of magic to get us back home. Everywhere we looked though the seller either tried to pass off junk to us or simply didn’t have anything magical.

“This is getting tedious.” I groaned, “I know I’m not well versed in magical objects but even I could tell that was just some crudely painted piece of wood.”

“Oh no, Y/N, it was a rare charm specially made to find magic beans out in the wilds.” Peter grinned and I found myself smiling back. “But in all honesty we are being shown nothing but junk it seems.”

“What do we do now?”

“Care for something to eat?”

“Yes please.” I snuck some coins off a passerby and we grabbed some bread and cheese at a stand.

“Hey, I have a serious question for you.” Peter broke off some bread I was holding.

“What’s that?”

“Do you really not know what a camel is?”

“What?”

“When I was telling you about the spinner women I mentioned one of them had a lip that drooped like a camel and you said--”

“Okay, I get it. No, I do not know what a camel is. What’s a camel?”

“It’s an animal, kind of like a horse but with a longer neck and their back has these large bumps on them.” he explained, “I can tell by the idiot expression you aren’t getting this.”

“Here,” I pulled a wanted poster off a wall, “Draw me a picture.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes. Draw me a picture of a camel.”

“Fine.” He pulled me into the inn and we sat down near the fire. With a piece of charcoal in hand he set to work as I nibbled at the cheese we bought.

“So focused.” I tried to peer at the paper.

“You will wait until I’m finished.” he blocked it from view with his arm.

“Ugh, you artists.” I rolled my eyes. A minute later he slid the paper across to me. “I’d say it looks just like the real thing but y’know…”

“Thanks,” he snatched the paper back.

“But for real, you can really draw.” I stood up and grabbed another wanted poster off the wall and turned it over for him. “Draw me something else?”

“I demand pay for my creations madam!” he said in an overly grandiose voice.

“Then you shall receive it kind sir.” I tossed him a silver coin. “Now give me a drawing worthy to hang on my palace walls!”

“As the madam wishes, I will draw you the most beautiful portrait of my career.” I tried not to laugh as he set to his drawing. While I waited for him to finish I grabbed a book that was laying on a nearby table and began to read. I hadn’t had to read in so long I was afraid I might have forgotten.

The night grew late and I felt myself starting to nod off. “Hey, Y/N,” Peter tapped my arm perking me awake again, “Your grand piece of art.”

“Done?” I took the paper. His hands were covered in charcoal smears and there were charcoal shavings from him sharpening it. “You really put a lot of work into this didn’t you?”

“Of course. I promised my best work.”

“Then let’s see this…” my words trailed into nothing as I took in the drawing. It’s...it’s me. I didn’t look in mirrors all day but the likeness was uncanny. It was my profile staring down at something with focus.

“You drew me?” I sought his face. He was already looking at me when I faced him. Those hard green eyes were softer and his cocky smirk was replaced with a gentle smile.

“Yeah. Well you were sitting right there reading and the way the firelight was casting the shadows it…” he dropped my gaze like the act burned him, “I drew you. So what?”

I looked back down at the drawing. “I love it. Thank you.”

“It wasn’t anything.” he shrugged. “I’m going to get a drink, you want one?”

“Oh no. It’s late, I think I’m just gonna go to bed.” I folded the drawing and stuck it in my skirt pocket. “If you get drunk though and bring up some floozy I will throw you out the window. Got it?”

“Yes ma’am.” he gave a mock salute as he wandered toward the bar.

I don’t know what it is but since leaving Neverland Peter was nicer. He was nice to me enough when we weren’t trying to kill each other but here things were different. It felt easy. Walking around town, joking, talking, and whatnot. That was the only way I could describe it. Things were easy. I felt like a wall had been torn down after years of chipping. He was still my leader and the boy that has tried to kill me numerous times no doubt, he was still Pan. Just watching him saunter over to the bar while I climbed the stairs to our room felt blissfully mundane. A part of me almost wished that we wouldn’t find a portal back to Neverland if it kept this lull of peace going on just a bit longer.

I went back to our room and changed out of the dress and back into my traveling shirt. At least I don’t have to fight for the bed tonight. I pulled the blankets up to my chin and was soon asleep.

Peter was true to his word and didn’t bring any floozies up to the room in a drunken stupor. What I did wake up to though was far stranger. He was back in the bed with his head laying on my chest and an arm wrapped around my middle fast asleep.

Okay...how do I get out of this?

I started to peel his arm off me then stopped when I caught a look at his face. He looked so peaceful. Everything about him was intense all the time that to see this was strange. Without realizing it I had brought a hand up to his head, running my fingers through his hair.

“What am I doing?” I whispered to myself and slid out from underneath him. The movement woke him up and he sat up. He gave me bleary glare.

“Why do you have to get up early all the time?” he flopped back against the bed.

“Habit.” I pulled the blanket off the bed. “Come on, we’re burning daylight.”

He begrudgingly got out of bed and the pair of us went back into town for another day of searching. I didn’t mention the fact that I had woken up intertwined with him. I doubt it would have gone over well and he probably would have just found a way to tease me with it.

After our failure yesterday we weren’t too optimistic on our chances of finding a magic bean or some other kind of realm jumper today. After the first dozen of rotten back alleys Peter was cranky and I was hungry. We went back to the inn early just as the sun was starting to dip on the horizon.

“I’m starving.” I moaned, “Got any money for food?”

“No, but we don’t need any.” he pulled me up off the bed. “I heard wedding bells ringing earlier and the inn was bustling with activity. I’m sure they wouldn’t notice if there are two extra guests at the reception.”

“We don’t exactly look like we’d fit in at a wedding reception do we?” I gestured to our stolen clothes and dirtied faces.

“Easily remedied.” he waved his hand and the pair of us were cleaned up. Peter dressed in a white shirt, green coat and black pants with matching black boots. I looked down at myself and saw that I was now wearing a red velvet gown embroidered with golden ivy leaves at the sleeves and neck.

“Really?”

“You love it you know you do.” he smirked back at me with a proffered arm. “Now, shall we?”

I rolled my eyes but took his arm and we went downstairs to join the festivities. We must have looked like we fit in quite well as others came up greeting us with smiles and offering us drinks and food. We sat down and filled our bellies with hot chicken, fresh bread, buttery potatoes and sweet cake, not to mention a good amount of wine and ale.

Music pulsated through the inn and everyone was dancing jubilantly. Well almost everyone. Peter and I sat away from the dancers, content to sip wine and chat amongst ourselves. Everyone looked to be having such fun though…

“Excuse me,” one of the young men from the bridal party approached us, “Care to dance miss?”

��No, she wouldn’t.” Peter said before I could answer.

“Yes, she would.” I stood up taking the boy’s hand, “Just cause you don’t dance doesn’t mean I don’t have to.”

“Y/N…” he warned.

“Like you were ever going to ask me.” I rolled my eyes and let myself be led out towards the other dancers. The boy held onto my waist as we started twirling to the music. I let out a wine induced giggle as the stranger and I danced.

The song ended and another began to swell anew. A different boy came up to me looking for a dance but was intercepted by Peter who pulled me away. I was pressed into him before being spun out and back in. “What’s this about?”

“Me asking you for a dance.” he shrugged.

“You didn’t ask though.” I reminded him.

“Details…” He held tight to my waist, spinning me so my feet scarcely touched the ground. Maybe it was the wine or the party or a combination of the two but we danced the entire night through, drowning reality with fantasy. Anytime someone tried to cut in Peter pulled me away with a cold look at whoever came near. I knew none of this would last. We were just playing pretend until we found a way back to Neverland. That was even if Peter still wanted me to come back once we did find a way. Until then I was content here dancing with him, tipsy and carefree.

It was like a dream. One of those dreams where everything feels so real and you’re so happy but the moment you wake up it fades into nothing leaving you empty in a way you can’t explain. That’s all this was, and I was dreading the moment when we finally woke up.

A line dance started and everyone was stomping their feet and shouting with good cheer making me forget my worries once more. One by one couples went down the line starting with the newly married couple. Peter and I ran down the tunnel of people, hands tightly intertwined and brows glistening with sweat.

Skipping, spinning, twirling in and out along with the wild frenzied beat until the song struck it last triumphant note and Peter and I were pressed flushed against each other breathing deep and smiling wide. His gaze flickered to my lips before leaning and pushing his mouth against mine. I could taste wine and sweat as I kissed him back. It was by no means a pretty kiss. It was hungry and gasping and passionate and fervid. I wrapped my arms around the back of his neck so to get a better angle.

His hands wandered down to my hips. The music was drowned out by the sound of my heart pounding hard in my ears. He pulled away from my lips to nuzzle his face into my neck. His hot breath puffing like fire against my already scorching skin.

Then the dream came crashing down.

“Peter?” We froze and Peter pulled away. There was a girl with powder blonde hair and a worn pink dress staring at us with disgust. “You--you--!”

“Ah, Scarlet?” His voice sounded deeper than it did earlier.

“Giselle!” the girl screeched.

“Right...uh...how have you been?”

“Impatient, waiting for my dear lover to return with the ring he promised me!” The noise of the inn lowered as the others stopped to watch the scene.

“Oh my god…” I snorted.

“You! You’re the one that defiled my daughter!” A very large man approached us, murder in his eyes.

“Uh Y/N, I think it’s time for us to go.” He pulled on my hand and we made a shot for the door. We ran out into the town square and stumbled down into an alley out of sight. When it looked like we weren’t being followed we both broke out laughing.

“I thought that inn looked familiar.” he was doubled over, tears in his eyes.

“I cannot believe you! You are such a whore!” I couldn’t breathe I was laughing so hard.

“So this is my fault?”

“It is! It is entirely your fault!” I took in a deep breath. The dreamlike scenario already flitting away into obscurity as rational thought tried to regain control over my wine addled brain. “Well, casanova, where are we supposed to sleep now that we can’t go back to our room?”

Peter seemed to be having the same problem and had to take a moment to catch his breath before speaking. “We’ll make camp out in the forest. Not anything we’re not used to right?”

“Right.” we left the alley, leaning on each other as we escaped the town and found a clearing in the forest. Peter changed our clothes back to normal which I was only a little disappointed in. I wouldn’t admit it but playing dress up for the night had been fun.

We pulled some branches together and made an impromptu shelter for one. The other would stay up and keep watch. “Get some rest.” Peter sat next to the fire he had conjured.

“No, I can take first watch.” I tried to answer but he just shook his head.

“You’ll nod off, especially now that you have about a dozen glasses of wine swimming through ya. Go to bed.”

“Fine. But wake me up in a couple hours for my watch.” I yawned as I laid down to sleep on the chilled forest floor. Strangest night ever.

(First) (Previous) (Next)

[amuseoffyre]

Having feelings about the fact that the two times we see Ed lose his temper and get seriously violent and aggressive with anyone, it's when he’s been repeatedly verbally provoked about subjects that are very painful for him. I would also argue for the case of his father, but that was more premeditated than reactive.

The first time is with the French captain, when Stede is giving Ed a dining lesson and critiques the lack of utensils. The Captain angrily snaps "I did not imagine we would be hosting your kind", a blatantly racist Othering of Ed. (And don't even start me on the fact that the flashback shows his mother diminishes herself compared to her white employers by saying "we not that kind of people")

For a moment, Ed goes very still, calmly and quietly asking "my kind? what's that supposed to mean?" and the French captain sneers "it means a rich donkey is still a donkey". Historically, donkey was frequently used as an offensive slur towards Polynesian people by white British people and given what we later learn about Ed's family and how he was taught to view himself by his mother, it's no surprise that it's an emotional trigger point. 

“A donkey,” he repeats, breathing hard, “a fucking donkey”

The fact that he defensively lashes out, shouting "Do you know where I'm from? You know fucking nothing about me!" highlights just how distressing and offensive the whole interaction is. (Also worth mentioning that David Fane - Fang - is also from NZ and of Samoan descent, so having him and Taika do this scene with this particular insult is incredibly loaded)

The second time we see him lash out it's in episode 10 and what makes it even worse is the fact that it comes after he's been receiving the support and acceptance of Stede's crew. He's puttering around, humming, tidying up his living area and laughingly saying "can you believe I lived like this?" - he's still sad about everything that happened with Stede, but there's a light at the end of the tunnel and he's starting to pick up the pieces.

Then Izzy forking Hands, the living incarnation of internalised homophobia and toxic masculinity intervenes.

And it's not when he tells Ed that he should have let the English kill him. It's not when he describes him as "this thing that you've become" (and hooboy, that gender identity stuff is just begging me to write it). It's not even when he yells in Ed's face that "this is Blackbeard" while waving a piece of propaganda.

Ed's clearly hurt and tired and saddened by it, but the thing that pushes him over the edge is when Izzy dares to bring up Stede, mocking him for "pining for his boyfriend", when Ed's cracked and broken heart is still raw and fragile. The fact he does it to make him stop talking makes my heart hurt.

And Izzy doesn't care about that. All he cares about is reawakening the violent, physical, aggressive man that he wants and when he shows his approval, Ed immediately recoils, backing away in distress. The damage is done. Izzy has proved his point by jabbing his fingers straight into an open wound and laughing when Ed reacted to make him shut up.

Ed is not by nature an explosively violent person and the fact it takes people repeatedly slamming on his emotional vulnerable places with a verbal hammer to make him react in an aggressive way speaks measures for him.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s very good at doing a violence as part of the job - he loves a good maim and all that - but violence as an emotional reaction? It takes a lot to get that out of him and often when he’s already feeling off-balance.

[ltleflrt]

Ltleflrt’s Writing Year In Review

Hooboy, I really really really don’t want to do this. Because I wanted to write so much, and it just. Wasn’t happening. But I did write a few things, and dammit I need to be proud of that!

Total 2021 Wordcount: 16,170 Total 2021 Kudos: 5,122 Total 2021 Hits: 58,807

My 2021 Fics:

Crows Feet (395 words)

House Hunting (694 words)

February Wedding (395 words)

Shattered (445 words)

Stuck On You (978 words)

Girl's Night! (gn) (1031 words)

Motels Need Thicker Walls (1037 words)

Best Alpha (3869 words)

Shameless (6841 words WIP)

Food, what food... (485 words)

I usually say something about each fic, but I think I’m just going to look at that list and be happy that I wrote some short fics, and that I took some prompts. Two things that are very difficult for me! 

Some of those kudos and hits are from Man in the Wilderness which I technically finished on 12/31/2020, but AO3 sees the whole fic as having been posted in 2021 because I posted the last chapter in the evening.  There’s not a way to separate the 2020 and the 2021 out from the total but lots of them came after it was finished anyway.  Thank you to everyone who took the time to read my stuff, and to show me appreciation for the little things I managed to share, even when I couldn’t appreciate myself. 

Special mention to the 40k+ that I wrote over the summer for a fic I wanted to submit to the Pinefest.  I had to drop out, because most of that 40k was rewriting new versions of the first three chapters over and over again, and I was making no progress... but I was writing steadily! It may not have resulted in something I can share with anyone, but it made me feel good to do the writing sprints and track my word count. 

My goal for 2022 is to continue to forgive myself for resting, but also to keep poking at my ideas.  I’d love to write more short fics and maybe do more prompts.  And as always, I’ll continue to dangle fresh ideas in front of your dashes just to see you all squeal with delight over all the AUs that live inside my head. 

Oh and to keep working on Shameless.  That’s not gonna stay WIP forever!  Even if I have to write something bad lol

[epersonae]

I know you're probably busy, but I would LOVE to know what you've got in the fic blender, when you have time!

(I have a fic junk drawer - fun to think about, never will actually do and a fic handbag - neat little details I want to cram in where they might work)

Oh hey! While I was answering your other ask I found this one. I saw this originally and was like hooboy that's a complicated question I'll answer it later and then promptly forgot it was there. Sorry about that!

The blender is kind of empty right now, tbh? I keep trying to get myself geared up to jump back into the episode 8 chapter of Hungry for love; I have a chunk of it written, but for the last couple of months I've gotten pulled away because another project kind of ate my brain.

That project is all written but being beta'd/edited (more intensely than I've ever had anything in any form edited in my entire life?!) And it is something very different from most of what I've written over the last year - things that have been in that blender have been: varieties of love, art and interpretation of art, living in the ruins of someone else's story, femininity and performance of the Self, and the latest Carly Rae Jepsen album.

I think I'm about to hit a recovery period, when that's done, and then I don't know. I would love to say that I'm going to dive back into that post-S1 fic I was writing, but given timelines I think (hope?) I'm about to be overtaken by the actual S2 anyhow, but we'll see. I go where the muse drop-kicks me, much to my own annoyance. (see current project, which was not intended to be about 80% original fiction and the length of a goddamn novel)

I do love the idea of both a junk drawer and a handbag! I have a little notebook that a friend sent me (the cover says "PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE FAN FICTION" so I did need to own it) where I've jotted a few things that I might write. The notebook is on the other side of the room and the cat is blocking, so I can't say what's in it. I think mostly very silly and/or unhinged ideas?

[nagito-kissmaeda]

Hello there!! I messaged you sometime ago about requesting a threesome one-shot 😳 I'd like a Nagito x Reader x Byakuya fic if you're up for it!! Here are some things to possibly include if you need inspiration (don't feel like you have to use all of them or any of them if they don't appeal to you): them being smug and sarcastic as usual, possessiveness (lighthearted or not), degradation and/or praise, maybe them interacting with eachother a bit and not just with the reader?? idk. Also I don't have any ideas for a story or context or anything. Feel free to decline if you don't feel like writing it, I would completely understand. In any case I love your work so much and I look forward to reading more of you in the future 🧡🧡🧡

ミ☆ Hooboy, the threesome fic is DONE! I am worried that the quality is a little inconsistent? I never know how to start or end these things ashafakk. this was fun to write though, I hope it's what you wanted! Word Count:  3817

Warnings: Fem reader, she/her pronouns, explicit sexual content, threesome (obviously) Read on AO3

It’s hard not to be a little bit nervous when you unlock the door to the apartment you share with your long term boyfriend. After a few years with him, you know that he doesn't like it when you beat around the bush, but you honestly aren't sure how to bring this discussion up organically.

Togami is reclined in an armchair when you come in, one leg crossed over the other and sipping on a cup of coffee, “You’re later than usual, was everything okay at work-” he turns around, and sees that you are not alone, “Who is this?”

You swallow nervously, gesturing to the man standing beside you, “Uh, This is Nagito Komaeda, he works in my department. I think you met at the Christmas party last year.”

Togami cocks an eyebrow, “If we did, I don't recall.”

“I ah...I spilled a glass of wine on you, Togami-san.” Komaeda says nervously, and Togami’s eyes harden.

“So you did. I remember now, the suit was unsalvageable, in case you were wondering” Komaeda grimaces, and Togami turns to you with an incredulous look on his face, “Why is he here?”

Well. It’s now or never.

“You know how a few weeks ago...I mentioned having a threesome?”

Togami crosses his arms, “And i said i wouldn't be opposed to it, yes i remember.”

“I would like to do that now.” you say quickly, trying not to drag it out any longer.

Your boyfriend scoffs, “With him I take it?” he says, nodding his head in Komaeda’s direction. Komaeda waves shyly.

“Preferably him, yes.”

Togami takes a moment to look Komaeda up and down, absorbing the mess of hair on his head and his quivering, bony limbs with a decent helping of disdain, “Why him? I didn't realise your standards had dropped so impressively.”

Komaeda breaks into a fit of giggles beside you, clutching desperately at the sleeves of his green coat, “Aha! I asked the same thing! But she was very insistent...I...ah...i couldn't rightly turn down such a rare opportunity could i?”

“Hmph. Apparently not.” Togami turns to you, uncrossing his arms and wrapping his fingers around your wrist, tugging you towards him, “I was hoping to have you to myself tonight, but I suppose I can make an exception. Though I can't say I approve, if he is who you want, you can have him.”

“Oh! I am more than happy to just watch if my participation makes you uncomfortable, Togami-san.” Komaeda breathes. His big green eyes follow Togami’s hand as it slowly begins sliding up your thigh and under his skirt. His throat bobs and his knees shake.

Togami scoffs, “uncomfortable? Hardly. I am just not the sort of man who likes sharing his things.” he whispers against the side of your throat, you choke on a moan when he bites down. There's something exhilarating about being watched. About being able to peer at Komaeda over Togami’s shoulder, sucking in a breath through your teeth as your boyfriend’s dexterous fingers worm their way into the side of your panties.

Komaeda’s cheeks are visibly red, he’s chewing on his knuckle. Absolutely enraptured with what is unfolding before him.

You feel Togami chuckle against your throat, “Is he watching?”

One of his fingers slips inside of you, slowly and deeply. You whine, “Y--Yeah, he’s watching…”

“Forgive me…” Komaeda breathes, backing up until he hits the king sized bed, slumping down onto the sheets with his thighs parted, “I...I cant...I want to touch myself, can i? Please?”

Togami huffs, grabbing the front of your blouse and tugging until all the buttons pop. You shiver when your skin is exposed to the air, “at least he has the sense to ask for permission.” he grins predatorily, shoving the cups of your bra up and over your breasts. He takes a moment to turn back to Komaeda, “Just don’t make a mess of my sheets. You couldn’t afford a replacement.”

Komaeda giggles, unzipping his jeans and rubbing himself through his tented boxers, “Ah, if the preservation of your sheets is a concern, we could do this at my mansion next time.”

Togami scoffs and turns back at you. Surprised to see the wry smile on your face.

“He’s not kidding.”

Togami gives you an incredulous look, peering over at Komaeda in his ripped jeans and well-worn green coat before raising a quizzical eyebrow in your direction.

“18 bedrooms.” Is all you say.

Komaeda smirks, but otherwise continues palming himself like the exchange never happened.

Your assertion of Komaeda’s wealth does something to Togami, a growl rips from his throat and he tugs your panties down your thighs, shoving you up against the wall.

“Watch carefully.” he says evenly, but with an undeniable edge as his blue eyes slip over to Komaeda, “Maybe you’ll learn something.”

Your heart is racing. While Togami is never averse to going down on you, he’s never done it with such desperation, such fervor. Dropping to his knees and hiking one of your legs over his shoulder as he pulls your clit between his lips and sucks hard, thrusting his middle and ring finger deep inside of you in one impatient stroke. You could hold a gun to Togami’s head and he would still insist that he has never been jealous in his life, but you know better. He’s showing off.

He grunts loudly against you when you pull on his hair, arm curling around your thigh to lock you in place while he alternates between sucking on your clit and circling it with his tongue. Your head lolls back, your free hand coming up to fondle your bare breast, choking on a drawn out moan when your misty eyes lock on Komaeda.

His jeans and boxers are bunched up around his ankles, jacket and shirt hanging loosely from his shoulder, exposing the sharp cut of his collarbones and the red flush that runs all the way down his chest. He’s grinning loopily at you as he leisurely pumps his cock, a thin line of drool hanging from his plump lower lip and his eyes almost glassy with arousal.

“Are you...hng...enjoying yourself, Komaeda-kun?”

You watch as he slowly drags his fist up his length, teasing the tip with his thumb, “Oh. I am. Very much.” he breathes

Togami adds another finger, and your legs almost buckle. He’s panting and grunting against your flesh, still desperately licking and sucking like he’s being graded on his performance. Togami loves an audience and for all his posturing, he always aims to impress.

“I’m...ah…” Komaeda whimpers, hips bucking up to meet his fist, “I’m jealous...I want to know what you taste like.”

You feel Togami huff against you, he pulls back and wipes his face on the back of his hand. Brows pulled taut when he peers up at you, “If the both of you are going to keep talking, you might as well start acting on it.” he pulls himself to his feet, loosening his tie and tossing it to the floor before unbuttoning his shirt, “get on the bed.”

There's no room for arguing. Not that you want to anyway, unclasping your bra and letting it drop to the ground all while stalking towards where Komaeda is still spread out on the sheets. Your heart is racing in your chest, the look in his eyes is manic, his whole body is quivering with some nervous energy that you can't quite place. You want him. Desperately.

Komaeda softens when you cup his cheek in your palm, going almost boneless against you. Whimpering and moaning as you slowly reach out to take his cock in your hand, “Can you shuffle back a little, sweetheart?” He nods furiously, clambering up onto the bed and moving back until there is enough room for you to climb up after him, “that’s a good boy.” you whisper, giving his cock another few quick strokes as you position yourself on your hands and knees.

Komaeda yelps when you wrap your lips around him, “ahhh! You...you...your mouth...I--”

You moan gently around his cock, already dripping with precum and hot in your mouth. You feel his hips stutter towards you, and a shaky hand rests on the back of your head, not really pushing you down, but definitely holding you in place.

“Take the rest of your clothes off.” you whisper, lips brushing the head of his cock as you speak, “i want to see you.”

His breathing is shaky, but Komaeda does as you ask. Slipping his coat off of his shoulders and tugging his shirt up over his head. He isn't toned like Togami is, he’s all thin skin and jutting bones, quaking and shivering as your eyes run over each individual rib.

You hum appreciatively, nuzzling his cock with your cheek, “You’re so pretty.” you whisper, licking up from the base of him all the way up to the tip. You smile as you take him back into your mouth, enamoured with his flushed red cheeks and shaky breath.

From behind you, a foil packet is torn open, and you moan in anticipation. Togami’s hand is firm on your hip, commanding, steady. So very different from Komaeda’s shaky hand in your hair.

“You’re ready, I take it?” He says, voice completely even as the palm of his hand rubs slow circles on your ass.

“Mhmm!” you manage to say, and Komaeda gasps at the feeling of the vibrations around him. Narrow hips stuttering deeper into your open mouth.

“I’m so lucky…” Komaeda slurs, slowly pumping himself in and out of your throat while his eyes lock onto Togami’s, “I cant believe i get to watch you fuck her…”

You can't see it, but you can hear the smirk on Togami’s face when he says, “make the most of it, Komaeda. This is the greatest privilege you will ever have.”

The moan you let out when Togami finally pushes himself inside of you is muffled by Komaeda’s cock in your mouth, but even still, it is loud. Full to the brim at both ends and not really sure whether to move backwards or forwards, your hips quiver and gyrate, your tongue travels up and down Komaeda’s shaft. You moan again, and Komaeda howls.

“This…this truly is an…ah-“ Togami thrusts hard inside of you, pushing Komaeda deeper into your throat. He giggles breathlessly, “this is such an honour. For someone as pathetic as myself to be in bed with not one, but two amazing-“

“Shut up.” Togami growls, grabbing your hips roughly and pulling you towards him, burying his cock deep deep inside you, and then pushing you forward into Komaeda’s cock when he slides out again. Making sure that you are never wanting for stimulation, “is he always like this?”

You laugh, drool running down your chin when your mouth opens, “mmyeaaahhh.” you manage to slur before pushing your head far enough forward that your nose is pressed against Komaeda’s pelvis. Peering up at him through your eyelashes, whimpering and moaning as Togami keeps fucking you from behind.

Komaeda is biting down hard on his lip, whether to stop himself moaning or stop himself talking, you can’t be sure. You’re a little disappointed, Komaeda’s relentless praise is one of your favourite things about him. But he does look very pretty with his lip clamped between his teeth.

Togami’s hand comes down hard on your bare ass, and a moan shudders through you at the feeling, wriggling your hips further backward, trying to force him deeper inside you. You can hear him chuckle, and he brings his hand down again-

Komaeda’s pale eyes squeeze shut, his hand in your hair pulls tight enough that it hurts. He isn't able to hold his noises in anymore, panting and moaning while he thrusts himself into your mouth faster and faster, “I...I’m sorry...I...I can’t”

He cums hard down your throat.

You swallow it all, and Komaeda’s grip on your hair loosens. His hand instead moves down to gently cup your cheek in his palm.

“I’m so sorry...my worthless self couldn't last anywhere near long enough, but…” he swallows, slowly slipping his cock out of your mouth, “watching the both of you...i...i couldn't help it”

Togami scoffs and you whimper when he pulls out of you as well. You suddenly feel very empty, and still very horny, “why are you stopping?” you whine.

“He’s not going to be much use where he is.” Togami replies, “Switch places.”

You glare at Togami over your shoulder, all he does is cock an eyebrow and usher you further up the bed. Komaeda is visibly shaking when he moves back down towards Togami, sitting back on his knees, looking up at him and waiting for orders.

Togami smirks, “You’re obedient. Aren't you?”

“...yes,” Komaeda squeaks.

“Lie down.” He says, his smirk growing into a grin when he turns to you, “Sit on his face.”

You feel a shudder run through you at even the thought of it. Komaeda moans out loud, presumably for the same reason.

Your knees wobble as you move over to him, observing just how beautiful he looks laid back back on the bed, his white hair splayed across Togami’s fancy sheets. you can't resist kissing him, smiling against his lips when you feel him gasp beneath you, curling one of his hands into your hair. He’s a good kisser. Gentle, languid, like he wants to savor you.

“Let’s see what else that mouth can do, huh?” you whisper.

Komaeda nods, quivering with excitement as you swing a thigh over his shoulders, “Yes...please...use me…”

You position yourself over Komaeda’s eager mouth, meeting Togami’s eyes from across the length of his pale, quaking body. You can feel Komaeda’s breath quicken against your wetness when Togami runs one hand all the way up his thigh, and pops the cap on a bottle of lube with the other.

“I bet he’s going to get real squirmy when you do that.”

Togami’s lips quirk up just a little, “You of all people should know how good i am with my fingers.” he reaches down and rubs a gentle circle around Komaeda’s entrance with his middle finger, eyes still locked on yours, “Now sit down, and shut up.”

You laugh, and finally lower yourself down, just enough for Komaeda to reach. He whines loudly, hands jumping up to grab your waist, one arm reaching around to the front of your torso to squeeze one of your breasts and oh. He is very good at this. His tongue laps gently at your clit, alternating between circles and little flicks, occasionally pulling it in between his lips and sucking. You can feel it when he moans against you, the hand on your breast now lightly circling your nipple with his thumb. It feels hot and wet and wonderful.

So wonderful that you don't notice what Togami is doing until Komaeda yelps. He has two fingers inside of him now, pumping gently in and out while he strokes his own cock with his other hand.

“You’re almost hard again.” He teases, “You like giving head even more than you like getting it, don't you, Komaeda?”

You can see his cock twitch at Togami’s insinuation. Already dripping with fresh beads of pre-cum. Komaeda makes an affirmative noise, mouth much too busy for actual words. His tongue teases your entrance and your hips stutter backward into his mouth.

“I bet you can still taste my cock from when I was inside her.” Togami jeers as Komaeda needily circles you, just barely dipping his tongue inside, “Do you like that too?”

Komaeda laughs breathily, it tickles.

“Yes~” He replies, and though you can't see his face, you can tell he is smirking when he says, “Though I wouldn't mind a chance to taste it directly next time.”

Togami’s brows pull in tight and you grin, sucking in a breath as Komaeda returns to his ministrations, “I wouldn't be so quick to turn that offer down.” you reply, gasping loudly when Komaeda finally penetrates you with his tongue, “He’s quite good.”

Komaeda moans happily beneath you at the praise. He moans even louder when Togami adds another finger.

“Such a pretty boy.” You whisper, leaning forward and running the tip of your finger over Komaeda’s ribs, watching his chest rise and fall with frantic breaths. His tongue is now gently thrusting in and out of your soaked cunt. One of his hands is still massaging your breast while the other grips shakily to your waist.

“You’re very pretty too, Byakuya.” You say, lightly grinding yourself down on Komaeda’s face, “It’s very fun to watch you work.”

He scoffs, but leans forward to collide his lips with yours all the same. Shoving his tongue into your mouth and digging his hand into the back of your hair. As your tongues twist and tangle in a perfect fervour, he pulls his fingers out of Komaeda (you only know because you can hear him make a disappointed noise beneath you)

“Watch, then.” He hisses, biting hard on the side of your throat before pulling back and lining himself with Komaeda’s entrance. Even the thought of watching this makes a brand new warmth surge down to your already soaking cunt. Your hips twitch down onto Komaeda’s awaiting mouth, more excited for this than you have been for anything so far.

Komaeda lets out a beautiful whine as Togami slowly inches himself inside of him. His tongue goes slack against your cunt for just a moment when he moans.

“I wish he would be quieter.” Togami admonishes, punctuating his sentence with a deep thrust inside of him

Komaeda moans again, and you frown up at Togami.

“I like his noises, they’re cute.”

Komaeda’s tongue goes back to work. Hands slipping around you to grab the soft flesh of your thighs.

“They’re annoying.”

You roll your hips down into Komaeda’s face and he gasps loudly against you, “Are my noises annoying, Byakuya-sama?” you tease

Togami grunts, grabbing Komaeda’s thighs and tugging him further down on his cock. Komaeda whimpers, “I have grown accustomed to your noises.” He gives Nagito a dirty look, “his are another matter entirely.”

“You...hnng...you can't blame him. Your cock feels really good, I'm sure he can't help it.”

There’s a desperate, “MHMM!!!” from beneath you.

“See! He can't do anything about it, poor thing.”

Togami’s breath is getting heavy as he picks up his pace, gripping tightly only Komaeda’s thighs and fucking him almost relentlessly. You can see Komaeda’s cock, flushed red, twitching, dripping...you want it in your mouth again.

“Stop...encouraging...him” Togami forces out between thrusts, sweat dripping down from his brow as it starts becoming too much for even him. You aren't doing much better, having trouble even staying upright as Komaeda licks, sucks and slurps at your cunt with a desperation that is almost inhuman.

You wouldn't say it out loud. You wouldnt dare crush your boyfriend’s ego like this, but fuck this is the best oral you’ve ever had.

It’s exhilarating. The feeling of Komaeda’s tongue all around and inside of you, the perfect vision of Togami, his hair plastered to his forehead with sweat, the way the muscles in his abdomen flex with every thrust inside of Komaeda beneath him. The room is nothing but sweat and sex, you’ve lost control of yourself, going limp on Komaeda’s chest, hopelessly rocking your hips backwards onto his face, panting and moaning.

You can barely take it anymore. Nuzzling your face against Komaeda’s cock, lolling your tongue out to suck and lick at every part of him you can reach, feeling him grow only more desperate, digging his fingers hard into your thighs, pumping his hips up into your mouth, forward onto Togami’s cock. He wriggling and writing, mouth slack beneath you. He’s just letting you grind back on him, licking up over your clit when he can, nothing but quivering desperation.

“Look at me.” Togami growls.

He looks just as far gone as you, teeth bared, brow pulled tight. You take the head of Komaeda’s cock into your mouth, sucking gently as Togami’s face twists, he grabs you by the hair and shoves you down far enough that Komaeda’s cock slips the whole way down your throat.

Togami cums first, fucking into Komaeda hard and fast before letting out a deep groan and spilling himself inside of him. You follow soon after, pressing yourself down hard on Komaeda’s tongue and moaning loudly around his cock when you finally go careening over the edge. It’s the feeling of you moaning around him that finishes Komaeda, and you swallow his cum down for the second time that night. Lethargic and sloppy.

For a long moment, the three of you are little more than a tangle of limbs. Komaeda going completely boneless beneath you, and Togami leaning forward to rest his cheek on the top of your head. You feel really good, but also really tired.

“That was fun.” You manage to say.

Togami chuckles, “That isn't the word I would use, but yes. I did enjoy myself.” He sighs and pulls himself back up, rolling his shoulders, carefully slipping his softening cock out of Komaeda and then getting up to throw out the condom, “You should get off Komaeda, I’m almost worried we’ve killed him.”

“Huh? Oh! Nagito! Fuck!”

You roll off of him, crouching beside his head and running a gentle hand through his tangled hair.

“Hm? I’m fine, nothing to worry about.” He says, giving you a sleepy smile. The bottom half of his face is still glistening with your fluids, you feel kind of bad about how much of a mess you made.

Togami returns to the bed with a washcloth that you quickly take from him and start working to clean Komaeda’s face. He just smiles up at you the whole time, “You feeling okay?”

“I feel great!” He says, it's quite genuine, even though you can tell he is fighting the urge to fall asleep.

“Okay, I’m glad to hear it.” You lean down to kiss his cheek, “Byakuya and I are going to have a shower. You can have one afterwards if you want?”

Komaeda starts sitting up, dismissing you with a wave of his hand, “No I...ah...i should probably get going shouldn't i?”

His legs shake when he stands up, wobbling around as he attempts to locate all of his wayward clothes. You hadn't expected him to be so eager to leave.

“Komaeda.” Togami says seriously, he’s wearing a pair of sweatpants but still manages to look intimidating with his arms crossed, “We aren't asking you to leave.”

“Ah, that’s very kind of you to offer, but surely you wouldn't want-”

Togami grabs him by the wrist and sighs, “Stay.”

[polyamorouspunk]

I'm gonna gently leave a tiny vent here in your inbox bc I feel like I need to scream into a void but also a void feels too empty so screaming into someone cool's inbox might satisfy those feelings??

Anyways. I recently decided to go on a break with one of my partners. We're no longer treating each other like romantic partners, bc of a lot of reasons, but mainly bc for a bulk of our relationship we were unhealthily dependent on each other after a mutual friend manipulated him into cheating on me(she lied to him abt what qpr meant and told me off for trying to correct her[this might sound familiar bc I cried abt this multiple times in your old server and if it does and you know who this anon is, hi I'm too nervous to go off anon but hello])

And for me this break has been... A great decision, actually. I don't feel forced to love him when I was having a really hard time doing so due to his jealousy towards my newest partner and his needs not lining up well with my own. I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders, and my other two partners have been great support in getting me through the complicated feelings coming from this.

Now we're calling it a break bc like... The plan is to see if I can fall back in love with him but. I don't think I should. I think things were too bad for too long and I can't keep trying to be responsible for his feelings and his problems. So I might just... Cut it off at some point. Maybe when he's done with school this semester cuz I do not want to add to that stress hooboy

This all got away from my initial reason for coming in here to yell but that's fine

Anyways uh... I'm mad at myself for connecting so much of my creativity and original story to him. I told myself after an ex years and years ago that I'd never do that again bc it soured the story for me. But I did it again. And for fucks sake my own comfort character is in that story and I made this guy the voice actor for that character???? Like how fucking stupid was I for doing that again!

And like, yeah, I know I couldn't have predicted any of the bad shit that happened. I couldn't see any red flags from him until the dependency started and I felt like I needed him or else I'd want to die. So I shouldn't be too harsh on myself for trusting him with something so precious to me but EVEN SO

I'm upset!! Aaaaa!!!! AAAAA!!!!!!

That sucks.

My ex and I (who by the way we still talk like every day and we’re still chill, those of you in the server know he was a mod there and stuff so you know who he is) started dating through a fanfic but I ended up dealing with the toxic parts of our relationship through my writing it leaving it to be a very sore spot for him which is why we never finished and I do feel bad about that.

I support your decision to not get back together.

I swear to god everyone is having a rough time with polyamory right now and it’s breaking my heart but I’m so glad that you have two other supportive partners.

It super pisses me off when I hear shitty manipulative polyam stories. Like god this is why it’s so much pressure for the rest of us and we get a bad rep.

Anyway so much love to anyone out there who has or is currently dealing with bad relationships, myself included.

[haloburns]

happy birthday to "the world is having more fun than me (tonight)"!!!

it has officially been one year since i started this stupid indulgent au of mine. so in honor of my commitment to this au for a full fucking year, i have some fun stuff to share!!

i'll be making posts all day about the au, tagged as "au birthday shenanigans" if you want to block it.

it all started because i speedran rewatching the series and decided i (like the rest of the fandom) wanted to change the ending of phantom planet.

then, i wanted to create a college au because i wanted to see what would happen to this danny that i created (and i got my senior year stolen by covid so i wanted to lived vicariously through my characters). it was supposed to be a lighthearted au, fun little snippets of college nonsense here and there. i expected to write for a few months, maybe, and then abandon it like i did everything else.

but then i found the ectober prompts and it was kinda all over from there. i used nanowrimo to finish the ectober prompts (i found them oct 25th alksjfkdsjf) and between the two months wrote 25 chapters. i had started developing a solid plot by this point, actually, and then it snowballed even further from there.

and now here we are! one year, 266k+, more than 30 works, and two fandom events later!

some fun facts about the series below the cut

vanessa was going to be danny's original love interest. then i realized they had major friend vibes, and after i wrote "the ghost boy can have a little coffee (as a treat)" i thought about using maybe luke. a cliche, for sure, but luke was sadly straight. then i realized that he and his roommate, mateo, had chemistry. y'all know how that's gone

mateo was originally supposed to be a point of conflict with danny. they weren't supposed to get along and were never supposed to get close. (that definitely changed, didn't it??)

vanessa was the first character i created for the specter squad, and emrys was the second

emrys had three name changes before i fell on that name. welsh names are hard and i had to find the right vibes. plus now i get to make merlin jokes so it's perfect

manaia and nikau's majors were originally flipped. nikau was the marine biologist and manaia was the voice and dance major. i flipped it because i felt like the vibes were wrong

there was going to be a buffy crossover episode for halloween year one. then i got the halloweekend idea, and the course of the fic permanently changed

i never intended for luke to become a regular part of the specter squad. he was supposed to be a throwaway character for that one fic, after i realized he wasn't danny's love interest. then my sibling decided they liked luke and wanted more of him. he quickly became one of my favorite characters to write and became central to the plot of the first arc. which my sibling regrets, but i am very grateful for

manaia and vanessa's relationship was news to me, and the third that ends up in their polycule was a fucking shock to me. i can't say anything yet, not until after invisobang, but hooboy. just you wait. it's gonna be so fun

nikau and emrys may or may not be in a relationship. i have no idea. neither do they. it's queer, no matter what it is, and i love them so much

i would die for any of my blorbos, but mateo especially. he is the Blorbo Supreme

i have so many plans for this au. i have the series plotted out for up to five years after graduation >:3 buckle up chucklefucks, we got a long way to go