#hope y’all understand xx

[mvybanks]

ahhh I loved your last imagine. Can I please request one with jj maybank x reader?

Can it be at that episode where they get robbed by barry for the gold, and maybe the reader hides it in her bra. Then they ask to search her and barry touches her body making jj mad and his hands go into her bra touching her boob when he finds the gold. The throws her to the ground, you can make the rest up after xx

catch a grenade for ya

a/n: this request was so cool, it got my curiosity right away! i changed it up a little, hope it’s okay (felt like he would never let anyone touch you and not do anything about it.) thank you so much!!

warnings: angst, robbery ?, use of weapons

word count: 1.5k

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jj maybank has never denied his greed for money.

it wasn’t his fault he was born without any and of course he desires what he doesn’t have, he’s only human after all. getting the gold with his friends meant having a better life, one he can enjoy, one that gives him freedom.

so he’s got ‘nothing to lose’, right? at least that’s what he thought.

after having just gotten possession of one gold bar from the royal merchant, you, jj and the pogues went to a pawnshop in order to get all the money that your gold is worth. however, the lady told jj that it was impossible to get him all that money immediately and you had to go to their ‘warehouse’.

but the farther you get, the less you trust the lady at the counter as everything that surrounds you at the moment are trees and leaves. you and kie share a look in the back of the van, both of you being unable to see anything other than plants on the street you’re driving by.

the sound of a car pulling up behind you stops you all.

“is that the cops?” kie asks and you all turn around to check.

“why the hell would they be out here?” jj starts panicking while looking through his bag.

“please tell me you didn’t bring your gun,” you say and he only shakes his head.

“you guys told me not to bring it so i didn’t!” he takes the gold and starts to look around him in order to find a place to hide it from the cops but you take it from his hands and stuff it into your bra as you realize that you have to be quicker.

your best friend widens his eyes and then turns around again, a clear blush adorning his cheeks at what you’ve just done. however, you don’t have time to see it because a masked man with a gun is now at john b’s window as he cocks the weapon in his hands.

“all y’all’s hands up in the air right now!” he yells and then orders john b to leave the van.

jj’s eyes are immediately on you, fear all over his features as he understands that the man with a rifle in his hands won’t stop at anything. the robber’s voice is the only sound you can hear as he forces everyone out of the van.

“look, man, we’re broke-“ jj tries to argue but the man interrupts him immediately.

“shut the hell up!”

jj is completely in front of you as he backs away from the robber, his body covering yours in hopes that he won’t see what you’re hiding underneath your shirt. he’s scared and feels so powerless in front of this man, the need to take you as far away as possible from him crawling inside of him. he won’t let him hurt you, not you, he would never forgive himself.

“everyone on the fucking ground!”

your heart starts beating faster when the man looks at you as jj begins to lower down, the robber’s eyes traveling to your chest. you put your hands in the air just like the others and you fake innocence in front of the armed man.

“i said to go on the ground!” he yells, but as you do so, he stops you, “except you.”

his words send a shiver up your spine so you lift your head to finally look at him, amusement obvious in his eyes and you know he’s got you figured out.

“put your hands where i can see em!” you can feel jj’s eyes on your back as you’re the only one still standing, “you, come here!” he says pointing to you.

but jj can’t take it anymore and gets up from the ground, an arm is thrown protectively in front of you and your best friend’s look tells you that there’s no way he’s letting him near you. ‘he’s gotta protect the gold, right?’ you think.

“i said to stay on the fucking ground!” he repeats, his gun now pointing at your best friend but his hold only gets tighter around you.

“what do you want from her?” his voice is rough and his eyes never leave the robber as a dangerous look adorns your best friend’s face.

“i’m gonna search her. now go on the ground before i put a bullet between your eyes.”

he starts to get closer to where you two are standing, however jj doesn’t leave your side, even after his threats. what the hell is he doing?

“are you fucking deaf or something?”

“i’m not letting you put your hands on her.”

jj and the masked man are now standing in front of each other, his rifle now by his side as he’s thinking about how to make your best friend terrified of him, of what he might do. he tilts his head to the side and raises his arm again, the weapon in his hand now pointing at your forehead, so close to you that you can feel the cold metal on your skin as you take a shaky breath.

“are you scared now, boy? you might not be scared of a bullet between your eyes but i bet you are of one between hers.”

he dares to take a look at you and the sight only makes him angrier, your silent tears leaving your eyes as you try to not make any sudden movements.

“j, please. do as he says.” you whisper with all your strength. your friends’ voices sound distant although they’re close to you, yelling at your friend to ‘let it go’.

however, jj won’t stop, not when it comes to protect you. he doesn’t care about the riches or the nice house on figure eight, he just needs you. the gold is completely forgotten as his only goal is to get the armed man as far away from you. there’s no way he’ll just let this man get his hands on you while he stands there. you’re his girl, he has to protect you.

“what do you fucking want? you want the gold? i’ll give it to you, take that gun away from my girl and i’ll give you the gold.”

his voice is almost desperate, scared of losing the only person he loves more than anything else in the world. jj’s got something to lose, he just never realized. you’ve always been there, how could he have been so blind?

“told ya i need to search her,” and the look the armed man gives you makes you feel so disgusted you almost flinch. you can only close your eyes and focus on jj’s protective touch.

he fakes confidence this time and gives him a humorless laugh, “you touch my girl, i’ll kill you. don’t think i won’t, i’ll find you wherever you are and i’ll kill you. if the gold is what you want, i can give it to you and this ends here. choose wisely how you want this to go.”

you can barely breathe, the thought of a gun being pressed on your forehead is eating you alive and you can’t even move, too afraid of what it might happen if you do. you don’t know if you want to smack jj in the head for risking his own life for you or if you want to kiss him for the same reason. at this point, his arm wrapped around your front is the only thing keeping you on your feet.

“fine. you’ve got ten seconds,” he finally answers and then lowers his gun.

you’re shaking as jj turns his body towards yours and quickly gets the gold bar out of your shirt, he throws it on the ground in front of the robber’s feet and takes your arm to drag you far away from him.

your body collapses on the ground immediately and your best friend wraps his arms tightly around you, comforting you as your head rests in the crook of his neck with your hands gripping his shirt for dear life.

“i’ve got you. it’s okay. i’ve got you.”

his sweet words calm you down as the perpetrator of your breakdown drives away. jj kisses your forehead repeatedly as one hand comes up to run through your hair and his body slightly rocks yours back and forth.

“i wasn’t gonna let him hurt you, you know that, right? i would’ve killed him before he ever got the chance.”

“why did you let him take the gold?” you sniffle, your skin never leaving his. he takes a deep breath and then cradles your face in one hand, his thumb getting rid of your tears. he kisses your head again, then each cheek once, the tip of your nose and then his lips hover above yours as his eyes look deeply into yours.

“listen, i can find the gold, okay? i could make money, but you? there’s no one quite like you.”

you inhale sharply at his words, realizing how serious he is.

“so you’re willing to take a bullet for me now, maybank?” you tease.

“what? you had doubts about that?” he smirks and you can’t help but kiss his lips.

[povlnfour]

ੈ✩‧₊˚ PADDOCK TO PADDOCK (LN) PART 5

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lando norris x fem!horse rider!reader

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user3 bestie is travelling the world a lot with him huh

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landonorris 🧡

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user5 CARLANDOOOO😭😭😭😭

user2 TEARS IN MY EYES

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mclaren we heard it had something to do with a certain incentive👀

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user3 huh

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user5 OH MY GOD THAT WAS THE INCENTIVE

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lilymhe ‘i don’t have time for a relationship’ - you in my messages a month ago

yourusername LEAVE ME ALONE SHDJJSJS

landonorris 🫣

user13 going to cry there’s a new mom and dad on the grid!

alex_albon so i’ve been forgotten

oscarpiastri @/landonorris you can stop pining in my dms now

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user9 🙄

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taglist: @idkiwantchocolatee @vellicora @alessioayla @bborra @crimeshowjunkie @minkyungseokie @paolexsstuff @celestialpato @champagnelovers101

a/n: i know it seems like the end but it’s NOT i have a little more planned so hold on <<33 just some soppy relationship stuff really

taglist found here

- giselle xx

[tsimvkas]

daylight #04 | soon you’ll get better

A/N: i really enjoyed writing this one 🥹 sorry it took me so long to post this, but i hope y’all like where the story is going xx

word count: 8.4k | series masterlist | masterlist

content: smut, premature birth, slight angst

<- previous chapter

You took a deep breath and pressed the share button, throwing your phone aside like it was a bomb. Sarah gave you a weird look, but you just shrugged.

You asked Mason not to post anything, but it was such a magical day and you felt so happy about it that you decided to post a few pictures even though social media have been scaring you lately.

Your pregnancy has been as easy as it could be, and you know some people you love — the ones who don’t live close to you, would like to see more of what you’re experiencing right now.

“Hmm, I’m hungry” you murmured, stretching your body in Mason’s bed. You and Sarah were the only ones to stay after the baby shower, since she asked you for some quality time doing nice things around London. Now, a week later, both of you are so comfortable in his house that it looks like your own.

“Me too” Sarah groaned. “What do you fancy? Hamburger with fries?”

You thought for a second, the idea of eating a hamburger making you feel a bit nauseous.

“Mase…” you looked to your other side, where your best friend was facetiming Woody for about an hour now, and waited for him to hum in response. “Can you grab me some strawberries and olives and melted chocolate and cheese?”

Gladly his bed was big enough to fit all three of you, or you and Sarah would be on the floor with Mason’s sudden jump.

“Oh, it’s happening” he screamed to Woody, jumping out of the bed and not giving you time to answer before running downstairs.

“What’s happening?” you looked at Sarah and she shrugged. “He’s so weird sometimes”

“You just asked for strawberries, olives, melted chocolate and cheese and he’s the weirdo?” Sarah poked your waist. “Wait, this is your first pregnancy desire in eight months?”

“It’s not a pregnancy desire, I just want some fruit and chocolate” you snorted. “But yeah, I think it’s the first. Not such a normal pregnancy, uh? No desires, almost no sickness, an eight months old belly with the size of a six months old. The pregnancy every woman would ask for”

Sarah stroked the back of your hand.

“You deserve an easy pregnancy, Y/N” she stroked your hand, comforting you. “I know the world paints pregnancies as a disease, but it’s not. It can be a happy time”

You nodded, thinking that you really had a happy pregnancy. Even though you were abandoned, and wish you had a daughter with anyone but Walker, your friends and family were there all the time. Your bump travelled to London more than your father ever did, Mason and Sarah are always taking you somewhere to distract and have fun, your mother is so happy to have a granddaughter that you can’t help but feel her happiness completing yours.

“Here” Mason came back in a rush, not giving you time to answer Sarah. “I won’t let her be born with a strawberry filled with cheese face”

“This” Sarah pointed. “Is disgusting. I’ll get ready to go out before I throw up”

You giggled, looking at Mason that had his eyes watching you, trying to understand if it was really good or you were playing with them.

“It’s not that disgusting, right Mase?” you pouted at him, and Mason shook his head.

“Nah, don’t listen to her. But what does it taste like?”

“Heaven” you smiled, giggling when he just shrugged and kissed your head before answering Woody.

—

When Sarah left, you grabbed a blanket and laid on the sofa, looking for something to watch. The pair of you would be heading back home next afternoon and she’s been talking about a night out the whole week, so since you couldn’t join her you told her to go.

“My room has a tv, you know?”

“Your sofa is big enough even for an eight-month-old's belly, Mase. And if you didn’t notice, my eight-month-old belly isn’t that big” you smiled. “Actually, why did you buy such a huge one?”

“I like space. Can I join you?”

“Yeah, come here” you tapped the place next to you. “What do you wanna watch?”

“Anything” he shrugged. “I think it’ll be more comfortable if we lay together so we can cuddle”

“I won’t stay awake if we cuddle” you pouted, but he tapped his chest and you gave in, instantly laying on one side against him.

Cuddling with Mason always makes you sleepy. He has the cosiest hug in the world, his body is warm and the way he rubbed your bump made your entire body relax.

You chose a Marvel movie, knowing that Mason likes heroes stuff, but soon you both fell asleep.

You woke up with that feeling again. The same when you visited Mason for the holidays.

And even though you’re pretty sure you can say when you’re horny, this time looked like the end of the world — pure agony. Your chest heavy, your panties soaked and an ache that was starting to physically hurt you.

Of course you’d have a wet dream with Mason. How could you not, when he was so deliciously pressed against you? You know it’s not your fault, and you know he didn’t do it on purpose, but it was there. You could feel him entirely.

You closed your eyes, thinking of the noises he made that day in the bathroom, your hips inconsciousness moving against his.

“Y/N…” he groaned, afraid you were still sleeping. Mason tried to stop your hips from moving against his but the way you started to cry made his heart drop. “Pookie? Why are you crying?”

“It hurts” you murmured, trying to stop crying. Mason helped you lay on your back so he could see your face. “I’m- I don’t know, I’m so horny”

Mason’s mouth slightly opened in shock, but he quickly recomposed himself when he saw that it was a serious situation.

“It’s a normal thing, pookie. What do you need?” he murmured, caressing your waist. “Tell me what do you need, princess”

“I don’t know” you sobbed, and he was getting even more worried about your state. “Anything. Everything. I want the agony to go away”

“Shhh, s’okay. I can help you” he kissed your temple, his heart hurting from how desperate you seem. “I can help you, pookie, take a deep breath”

When you obeyed him and breathed, focusing on the patterns he was drawing on your bump, Mason smiled.

“Do you need help?”

You nodded, your eyes tearing up again.

“Don’t cry, princess. Are you sure you want help from me, tough?”

“Yeah” you nodded.

“It won’t ruin anything?”

“No” you shook your head.

“Are you sure of it?”

“Mase!” you snorted, making him giggle.

“Fine, pookie. Do you want me to touch you?”

You nodded again, clenching at the thought of Mason long fingers.

“Gotta use your words, you know”

“Yes, Mason, I want you to put my panties to the side and touch me. Can you do that?” you snapped at him, wanting to cry again.

“Sorry” he rested his forehead on your shoulder, laughing. “It’s just that you’re so pretty when you’re slightly stressed”

“If you’re not going to do it then excuse me-”

“Shh, you’re not going anywhere” he held you in place. “Open your legs f’me”

You stared at him, feeling petty.

“Spread your legs open, Y/N” he murmured, his lips almost brushing against yours. “I’m not asking you again”

When you did as he asked, Mason knew better than tease you, quickly pulling your panties aside and pressing your clit with the pad of his finger, the way you cried of pleasure instantly turning him on.

You asked for a finger, and he gave it to you. You moaned for a second, and he did as you asked. You begged for one more, and Mason about to cum in his boxers from the sounds you were making, taking three of his fingers like it was nothing.

“I need more” you whined, the ache between your legs never ceasing.

“More than three fingers?” Mason’s eyes widened. It wasn’t a surprise you were so needy, if his fingers weren’t doing the job he can only assume yours weren’t even close to satisfying you.

“You have a dick for a reason, do you know how to use it?” you teased, chuckling when Mason giggled.

“If you weren’t eight months pregnant I’d make you scream for your bad behaviour”

“Promises and promises but I’m not being stretched yet”

“Can you behave? God” Mason tried to hold his giggles. “I don’t have a condom here baby”

“I did the test not long ago so I know I’m clean” you pouted, wanting to feel him but not wanting him to stop and look for a condom. “And I can’t get pregnant”

“Unfortunately” he breathed inaudibly, turning you around so he could stay behind you instead of taking the risk of pulling his weight on your belly. “I’m clean too. We tested like, two weeks ago. Are you sure we can do this?”

“Yeah, my doctor said I could”

“Why did you ask her?” he sounded suspicious, and you could swear you heard a bit of jealousy in his voice.

“I didn’t”

“Fine. And are you sure you want to do this?” he kissed your shoulder, pulling his member out of his trousers and pushing your leg back, to rest on his hips and give him more access.

“Mason, for God’s sake. I’m feeling so stressed and irritated and I just need to- fuck, I just need this”

“A dick?” he giggled, teasing your entrance with his tip.

“Your dick” you moaned, melting against his chest when he teased your entrance again. “Be careful, yeah?”

Mason tried not to take your words so seriously, knowing that the pleasure could be influencing the way you were feeling about him at that moment.

“Always. Now relax f’me” he kissed behind your ear. “And tell me if you feel anything you’re not supposed to feel, do you hear me?”

You nodded, sighing when he started to stretch you.

“It feels so good. I didn’t even remember the feeling” you sobbed. “So good. You’re so much better than anyone before”

“Am I?” he teased, and you could tell he was feeling good with your praises. You wanted to scoff him, but the overwhelming sensation of his hips moving wouldn’t let you, your voice sounding like a moan instead.

Mason was feeling his head spinning, the sensation of being so intimidate with you making him dizzy. He tried his best to go slow and calm, to make you feel good first, lazily thrusting his hips. When you clenched harder around him, Mason could swear he saw stars. Literal stars.

“Mase…” you whined, feeling your vision go dark.

“Shit, you can’t just call my name like this and expect me not to cum”

“Are you close?” you murmured, his lazy thrusts making your body crumble against his.

“Are you?”

“Inside, uhm?” you asked him, and Mason almost choked on his own saliva.

“Are you sure?” he asked for probably the hundredth time of the night, and you nodded.

“I wanna feel you”

It didn’t take you long to reach your high and Mason followed you, triggered by your orgasm.

The pair of you stayed in silence, trying to catch your breath. As the seconds were passing by, you started to overthink.

“Mase-”

“We can talk about it later, pookie. Don’t worry” he kissed your temple. “Are you feeling alright? Everything’s good?”

When you nodded Mason helped you walk upstairs, take a shower and wear your pyjamas, tucking you in bed before Sarah was home again, so when she came back you were already sleeping.

But sleep didn’t come easy for you at all.

The next morning, Mason left early for training, kissing your head and waving Sarah a goodbye.

“I wonder why I never get a kiss” she teased you, walking around the kitchen and making breakfast for the two of you.

You sighed, knowing you wouldn’t be able to keep your secret. Sarah is always the best friend to talk when you don’t know where to go — or when you do know, but don’t have the courage needed.

“I need to tell you something”

She turned around to face you for half a second, then

“You had sex” she shrugged. You gave her a shocked laugh.

“What? How could you know?”

“Y/N, I’m like your sister. We know each other for what, a decade now? Plus I’ve been with you your whole pregnancy and I can assure you, the last time you woke up that happy was way before our girl was put in the oven. I’m surprised you and Mason finally got there, though” she gave you a cup of tea. “Tell me how it was”

Your cheeks warmed at the mention of his name.

“He’s so… Ugh, he was so soft. I was feeling awful and I needed it so bad. And he just gave it to me? I know he was worried and he asked me a few times if I was sure, and then when he was finally convinced he just gave me the best orgasm I’ve ever had and went to bed. His bed” you rolled your eyes.

“And how are you feeling now?”

“Happy. It was annoying me, being horny all the time. Every pregnant woman goes through this? I don’t know. I feel better, it’s like waking up to a rainy day every singe and then one day it’s sunny”

“Big dick then” she gave you a smirk.

“Oh it is really big- why do you wanna know?”

“Chill, pookie” Sarah laughed, giving you a plate full of pancakes. “I don’t want your man”

“He’s not my man, though”

“He wants to be” she looked at you, but you only shrugged. “C’mon, he just fucked you and you both are still going to pretend you’re not madly in love with each other? Honestly Y/N, you saw him naked. Can’t you admit that you like him? Not even for me?”

“I felt him naked, it’s different” you pointed out, but Sarah just rolled her eyes at you. “Fuck, fine. I like him. But we know I should not”

“Why not?” she gasped.

“He’s my best friend, Sarah. And he’s Mason Mount. Do you know how many girls in the world wants him?”

“It isn’t fair with him, thinking that way. There’s a lot of girls wanting him, so what? What matters is the girl he wants” Sarah shrugged. ”

“And the way he- you know, was better than everything I’ve felt before. I don’t know if I can move on from this” you sighed. “Jesus, it’s not even about the physical part. I mean yes, his dick felt incredibly good but I also could feel how much he cared about me during the whole process, even if it was only as a caring friend”

“You don’t need to move on from this. Why don’t you tell him how you feel?”

“Is less scary when it’s platonic. Don’t you know that?”

“The pair of you entertains me so much, Y/N. How could it be less scary when it’s platonic, if it’s not platonic at all?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about”

“Honestly, I don’t know what I should do with you both. C’mon, go get ready. We need to go home”

“We really do?” you pouted, thinking about how long you would spend without seeing Mason again.

“Funny, because I know that look, and Mason asked me the same thing before you woke up. You still don’t know what I’m talking about?”

—

The pain was excruciating. You could feel your thighs sticky and your head started to spin.

“Dad?” you screamed, reaching for your side table so you could use it to help you stand on your feet. When you didn’t hear an answer, you tried again. “Mum? I need you to come here”

It felt like your period cramps, but worse. So much worse that you couldn’t think straight.

You had just returned home in the afternoon, Sarah stayed for dinner and everyone had a great time together until you were too tired to keep talking. You remember you showered, changed into one of your pyjamas and tucked yourself in bed, before waking up with the sensation of being stabbed in the belly.

“Y/N?” your mother knocked, opening the door in sequence and switching the lights on. She looked at the big red patch on your mattress and walked in your direction. “It’s okay, don’t look. We gotta go now, c’mon”

With an arm around her shoulders, you left the room. Your father were downstairs, probably following instructions your mother gave him, and soon you were in the family car.

“Can you call Sarah?” you tried to ask through the pain. “And Mason. But be careful, I don’t wanna scare him”

Your mum nodded, calling Sarah and asking her to tell Mason. Soon you were at the hospital entrance and your father quickly told them it was an emergency.

You felt scared when they brought the wheelchair, but followed every instruction carefully and after two hours of worries and fear, Aleyna was born.

—

“Where’s she?” he entered the hospital hall like a storm and your father got on his feet, in case he needed to help

Sarah ran to him, holding him in place with her hands on his shoulder.

“Mason, calm down. This is a hospital, you need to behave”

“Where is she” he repeated, trying to get rid of Sarah’s hands holding him in place.

“They took her to an emergency procedure” Sarah squeezed his shoulders, softening her expression when his eyes watered. “You don’t need to worry, they’ll be alright”

“What happened? What- she was fine yesterday, wasn’t she?”

“I think you need to sit, Mase. You drove here?” Sarah asked, concerned.

“My private driver- what happened?” Mason whined, and Sarah knew he was about to cry.

“All I know is that she felt an intense pain, but she was already inside when I got here”

Mason bit his lips, thinking about the last night he saw you and feeling his chest heavy.

“It’s my fault” he whispered, his face in his hands.

“C’mon Mason”

“No, I mean it. I- look, we did something- I did something” he stuttered.

“I know”

It didn’t even shocked Mason, he was sure you would tell Sarah about it.

“So you understand it is my fault”

“Absolutely not. We don’t even know what happened yet, you’re overthinking”

“I think I love her” he blurted out, starting to freak out and walking in circles.

Sarah stayed in silence for a few seconds, processing his words before walking towards him and squeezing his shoulder and making him sit.

“I know you do. And it’s a strong type of love, Mason. You need to tell her”

“I can’t. Not now, when her entire life is just about to change”

“Of course you can. In fact, you should’ve told her years ago. Seven years ago, to be more exactly” she said sternly, holding a giggle when he looked at her like she was a witch. “It’s pretty obvious, Mase. What I’m trying to say is, as much as I loved the little girl I just met right there, if you had told her back at then she would never get with Walker. Then she wouldn’t spend her pregnancy feeling sad and abandoned. Then Aleyna would be your daughter, she would have a baby in the right time instead of feeling like she just lost her young years. You both keep lying to yourselfs and don’t understand how much these lies took from you already”

“Wait. You can’t be sure of all that, that this would happen. I could’ve told her and she could’ve chosen Walker anyway”

“Men are so dumb, aren’t you? She had a crush on Walker, yes, but in the beginning she didn’t loved him. Dating a boy she thought was pretty was easier than sitting and watching the guy she liked getting famous and being chased by all the type of girls”

“It doesn’t matter” Mason shrugged. “I can’t tell her now. She’s in a different stage of her life and I know she’ll want to focus on it, give her best. I can’t add more fire into her head”

“The fact you’re worried about it only proves to me that you need to tell her, Mason. Imagine the life you could have together. I don’t think you’ll add fire to her head. Actually, I think you would bring her peace”

Before Mason could answer, the doctor who talked with your family earlier showed up again.

“Y/N’s family?” he called, and your father was instantly on his feet. “She’ll need to stay here for observation, two weeks at least. The baby too, she’s a pretty and strong girl but she still needs to grow a little bit more before going home”

“Can we see her?” you dad asked

“The mum is sleeping now, but they’re in the same room. You can have a quick visit. I assume your wife is there with her?”

“Yes, that’s right”

“Alright, you can follow me” the doctor smiled, heading to your room.

“Mason” your father called him. “Come with me, we don’t know when you’ll be able to come visit, with the crazy work routine you have”

Mason nodded, following your dad with his chest full of expectations. When the doctor opened the door so they both could enter the room, Mason held his breath, afraid that any sudden move could disturb you and Aleyna.

He stayed next to the door whilst your father saw his granddaughter, not wanting to interrupt their moment.

“We’ll get a coffee Mase, do you mind keeping an eye on them until the nurse comes back to see them?” your mother looked at him, and he saw how tired she was.

“No, not at all. You can go” he smiled, sighing when your parents left him alone with you. Walking to your bed, he bent over to kiss your forehead.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I should’ve been so much more careful” he whispered, being careful not to wake you up. “I wish I could bring you both home with me. Like, right now”

After a few seconds in silence Mason sighed again, bending to see Aleyna in the hospital crib and brushing her nose with the pad of his finger before looking at you, peacefully in your sleep.

“Can I tell you a secret, Aleyna?” he adjusted her blanket, smiling when she moved a little bit. “Mase loves mommy. So much. But Mase is a coward too, you know?

She didn’t open her eyes, but somehow Mason felt like she was paying attention.

“I never had enough courage to tell her. I think I was just scared she didn’t feel the same, and then she started dating Wal- a bad man, that you’ll never meet as long as I’m alive”

“But now — look, I think she likes me too. Do you think I’m getting crazy? I mean, we had s- Jesus, I can’t tell you that. But we did something that couples use to do, like when you date someone. You’ll know when you date” he sighed. “Oh wait, you won’t dater. Ever. I’ll make sure of it”

“The thing is that even if she feels the same, I ruined everything. See, I’m pretty sure the thing we made was what put you both in this situation. You’re one month earlier, bubba. And it’s my fault, and if your mum thinks the same then she’ll probably be really resent over me”

“I should give her time to process it, right? And now she has you and things will probably be confusing and overwhelming at first. Yeah, I’ll give her some space. But I’ll see you as soon as possible”

The nurse knocked on the door and Mason let her in. She smiled politely, checking you first.

“They usually sleep a lot after a difficult one” she told him. “It can be really stressful”

“It was a difficult one?” Mason frowned. Your mother didn’t mention it.

“Oh, no one has told you? Well, sometimes the family doesn’t know how to tell” she sighed. “She wasn’t totally positioned, which made it difficult for Y/N to push. And then, the baby didn’t breathe at first”

Mason's hands felt cold, and he looked at you, imagining how difficult and scary the moment was.

“She’s a really brave mother” the nurse smiled at him again, and he tried to smile back, feeling nauseous.

“So, uhm, she didn’t breathe?” he asked, wanting to know more.

“Eight seconds, says her medical record . But she’s fine now, will stay two weeks for observation” the nurse took Aleyna’s little clothes off, and she instantly started to cry. “Can you take your shirt off? So you can help me with her”

“Uhm- yeah, of course” he nodded, not understanding why he had to be shirtless to help her. Like she was reading his mind, she answered him.

“You weren't in the birth room, right? Only saw her mother there, and skin to skin is important not only with her mum, but with the father too”

When she gave him Aleyna he immediately started to talk to her, and the cry got lower until she stopped and the nurse could check her heart and her lungs.

“That’s a good signal, dad. Do you used to talk a lot with her bump, huh? She likes you”

“Actually I’m not-” Mason started, but then he realised he didn’t need to tell the truth. “Yeah, I talked a lot with her”

“Done. Do you think you can put on her clothes or do you need help?”

“Yeah, of course. I got it”

“You’ll be a good dad, Mason Mount” she tapped his shoulder, and Mason panicked for a second before she friendly winked at him. “Is written on the visitor sticker”

He quietly dressed Aleyna, smiling at her — and acting like a fool, he knows. When your parents came back he remembered he had to go.

“I’ll go straight to training” he whined, making your mum giggle. “But I’ll tell my parents to visit, if that’s okay?”

“Of course, we would love to have them” you mother tapped his shoulder.

“Alright, see ya” he kissed your mum’s cheek, hugging your father before dropping another kiss to your forehead, and then hit the road to London.

—

When the doctor told you Aleyna could go home the next day, you felt relief running through your veins.

It had been a tough seventeen days. Even though she’s fine and healthy now, you can’t forget how much blood you saw that night, or how she didn’t cry for the first eight seconds. You counted.

Your family was always with you during the hospitalisation, so you barely had time to think of anything else. Barely.

Mason hadn’t showed up to visit nor texted you anything, and you tried not to let it hurt you, unsuccessfully.

Trying to distract yourself, you wrote for your anonymous blog about pregnancy, telling how giving birth was. You were happy to read lots of comments wishing you well and hoping your baby will be the healthiest possible.

But still, all the interaction, the virtual and your family’s, couldn’t take your mind off of the fact Mason disappeared. Not even a ‘Hi, how’s your daughter? She looks like you?’.

You tried to gulp the sadness, organising your bag and Aleyna’s, the one your mum had to hurry and bring the next day you gave birth. Your baby was sleeping peacefully on her baby seat that your father had taken for you the night before.

When someone knocked on the door, you sighed in relief, ready to go home and leave your least favourite place in the world.

“Knock knock”

“Mason?” you frowned, not expecting him to be there.

“Hi, I’m your driver today. How are you?” he entered the room, walking towards the baby seat were Aleyna was. “Wow, she really looks like you”

“What are you doing here? Where’s my father?”

“He had to solve a problem at work” Mason shrugged.

“So why didn't he call Sarah?”

“I asked Sarah to let me drive you home” he shrugged again. The action annoyed you.

“Why’d you bother?”

“I’m your best friend?” he shrugged one more time, taking the bags with one hand and Aleyna’s car seat with the other before you could even move.

You walked behind him, watching how he would talk with Aleyna as she was understanding him, stopping every time he realised he walked too fast for you.

You could also say by the way he kept checking on you that he was driving carefully, afraid to hurt you. Still, you were too proud to give in and start a conversation, texting Sarah instead.

Her answer made your cheeks burn, so you turned off your phone and waited in silence.

When he parked on your porch line, Mason left the car to help you with your bags and the seat, taking them to her bedroom. You went with him and made sure Aleyna was still sleeping before following him out of the room.

“I don’t think you want me around so now that you’re all settled I’ll just head back to London” he told you when you were downstairs again, grabbing his keys and the actions annoyed you.

“Yeah, you’re right, because when I wanted you around you weren’t there so just do what you do best and drive away from us”

“What are you talking about?” Mason raised his voice a bit, suddenly feeling attacked by your words.

“Don’t you dare wake up my daughter. Low that damn voice” you pointed him a finger. “We stayed two weeks in the hospital, Mason. And you couldn’t even text?”

Mason’s eyes softened and he understood your attitude, putting the keys back in the table and walking towards you.

“No pookie, it’s not like that. I wanted to visit, okay? I just thought I should give you space?”

“Why would I need space?”

“Just let me explain, alright? I thought you needed space. To adjust to your new life, to get to know your daughter. I was afraid I’d be bothering you whilst you were so worried about Aleyna” he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear and brushed his fingers against your cheek. “Plus I was really busy with work and I know this isn’t a good excuse but I didn’t want to disturb you when you had so much going on with her hospitalisation. Honestly, I thought you wouldn’t need me once you had so much to deal with”

“Yeah I love you but this ain’t going to work, or you tell me the real reason or you can leave and not look back” you crossed your arms.

“Y/N-”

“I mean it”

Mason sighed, scratching his eyes and thinking how he’d tell you. “I spent these fourteen days thinking I was guilty for her premature birth”

You gave him a flat look, filling your voice with confusion.

“How the hell would you be guilty for that?”

“We had sex days before” he tried to explain his point of view, but you only snorted.

“Pregnant women have sex all the time”

“You were eight months pregnant, Y/N. I’m pretty sure eight month pregnant women don’t do penetration”

“God, have you ever searched about it? I told you my doctor said it was fine, Mason. You can say you regretted it and we can go back to normal, you know. Didn’t need to disappear for two fucking weeks”

It was Mason’s turn to snort at your words.

“I don’t regret having sex with you. I just regret that maybe this caused Aleyna to be born in an unsafe condition. In the end I think I was just scared to face you and realise you were also blaming me” Mason shrugged. “You should be the one regretting”

“Oh my God Mason, I was the one asking for it! I was begging you for it, actually. How could I blame you for something I asked you to give to me?” you shook your head. “Can’t believe this is the reason why you avoided me during the weirdest and scariest days of my life! Just say you regret it and leave, you know. It’ll make you more of a man if you just admit it”

Mason huffed, running his hand through his hair before letting his arms fall to his sides.

“Admit what, for God’s sake? That I love you in the most non-friendly way someone could love another person? That that night was the most intimate night of my life? That it never felt so good with anyone before? That when I saw Aleyna at the hospital nothing scared me more than losing a child is not even mine?” he turned his back on you, not even knowing why he was telling something he promised to keep to himself. “I know this is nothing compared to giving birth and I’m sorry I acted like a little boy but I was scared. I’m still scared. Nothing prepared me for falling for you and I’m losing it. I’m losing my mind because you’re not mine and I’m not yours”

You felt overwhelmed by his words, Mason’s confession heating your entire body and leaving you unsure of what to say but the silence punched him in the face.

“I shouldn’t have said it Y/N, I’m sorry” he grabbed his keys again, and the idea of letting him leave without knowing how you feel.

When he turned around, you finally remembered how to speak.

“Why? You don’t mean it?” you asked before he could get to the door, your voice so small you could barely hear yourself.

“I do” he sighed, turning to look at you. “But you have too much to deal with right now, and I shouldn’t add fire to it”

“You’re not. Having you always helps, actually. It’s just- it’s hard to believe you really like me, Mason. Maybe you liked the older version of me? But I’m- I’m so different now. My body is different and the way I see the world is different and I’m not the girl who grew up with you anymore. I’m a mum, and I don’t know if you’ll be able to understand what this would imply in a relationship. I’m not sure if you understands that I’m a totally different person now”

When he walked towards you, you felt your legs slightly shaking.

“Look at me” Mason asked, his fingers brushing your chin to encourage you. “He didn’t leave because becoming a mother would change your body and your mind. When you love someone and you live this together, you also change. You get excited to see the changes, actually. To see the bump, to take the responsibilities. He just left because he’s a twat. A fucking dickhead. He’s a wuss, Y/N, and I’m not”

“How did you know what I was talking about” you pouted, and Mason was quickly to reach for your wrist and pull you closer.

“It must be a hard process, your body changing this way. But this doesn’t change anything to me, princess. You’re still the hottest, prettiest and kindest girl I’ve ever wanted” he ignored your question, not wanting to ruin the moment by mentioning your ex. “I know it’s not the same, but Aleyna is here to change me too, yeah? I’m pretty sure I can understand her impact on our relationship and I still want it”

“Oh right, I forgot you’re a duncle now” you mocked him, rolling your eyes playfully.

“What about the way you see me? I mean- Sarah told me, sorry” he smiled shyly, playing with your fingers. “Is it different too?”

“I think you know the answer”

“Uhm? Do I?”

“You’re still the guy I want, Mason Mount” you forced yourself to tell him, feeling the heat travelling to your cheeks.

“Good” he brushed his nose against yours.

“I thought you had regretted it” you pouted, suddenly realising you pout a lot around Mason. “When you didn’t show up to visit”

“Having sex with you? Shut up, it was the greatest sex I’ve ever had”

“Stop playing around, I’m being serious. I thought I had lost what we have, you could’ve texted me at least”

“I really am sorry, pookie”

“I know you are. Just don’t do it again”

“Noted, baby. But just for the record, what do we have?”

“I don’t know” you giggled. “I was about to call you my best friend but then I thought you would think I’m putting you in the friend zone. And that’s not my intention. I just need time, with Aleyna and with my body”

“I know” he smiled, kissing your forehead.

“But I think a kiss wouldn’t kill anyone”

“Do you?”

“Mase” you pouted again, which only made him laugh harder.

“C’mon, you should sleep a bit” he kissed your temple. “By the way, Dec asked me why he wasn’t invited for her baby shower and Woody said you better ask him to visit her now that she’s home”

“Since when do your friends like me that much?”

“First of all, they always liked you just from how important you are to me. And everyone’s get excited with babies, I think” he helped you with the stairs.

“Dec can come if he brings Jude with him” you giggled.

“What? Why?”

“They can be friends” you shrugged, walking to your bed, but Mason stopped you.

“Oh no no, I see where this is going. Absolutely not, she’s only one month old” he hugged your waist.

“She won’t be one month old forever, Mase”

“You’re focusing in the wrong couple right now, pookie”

“Am I? Because if I record correctly you were the one avoiding my kiss like, ten minutes ago”

Mason chuckled, turning you around to face him.

“I was trying to make sure you weren’t asking for a kiss just because you were caught in the moment”

“You’re stupid or what?” you giggled, playing with his hair. “I was begging for you a month ago, Mount. I think it’s pretty obvious I’ve been wanting the damn kiss for a while”

Mason only smirked at you, dropping his head so he could peck your lips, but you were quick to hold him by his neck, the other hand on his hair.

He giggled, giving in and kissing you properly. You felt your entire body trembling, and thank God he was holding your waist or you’d probably fell.

It was the softest kiss you’ve ever shared with someone, and when he bit your lower lip you gave him the access he wanted, moaning to the feeling of his tongue against yours.

When he slipped his hand to your bum and gave it a gentle squeeze, you pulled away from the kiss to catch your breath.

“If we’re going to try, then that’s where we’ll draw the line” you stroked his chin to let him know you weren’t mad. “You can keep your hand, I’m just saying that we won’t go to the next stage”

“Fine. It’s fine for me, you know that” he nodded energetically and his big brown eyes made you feel all soft.

“Before you overthink, it’s not because of Aleyna’s birth”

“You don’t need to explain it for me” he kissed your cheek. “You don’t need to explain nothing”

“I do. I don’t want you thinking I didn’t like that night. It’s just postpartum recommendations, you know? No sex and all that”

“Oh- alright. Yeah, I did not know. Okay, good”

“See? That’s why I always need to explain things to you” you kissed the corner of his mouth. “But if you still want me in four months…”

“Let’s not talk about it right now” he shook his head, and the way his eyes were shining made you smile.

“It was the hottest for me too. Just for you to know” you smiled, knowing that you could tease him the entire night and he’d still respect your decision. “The day you jerked off was hot too”

“You heard it?” Mason groaned, hiding his face on your neck and instantly feeling ashamed.

“Hey, don’t be shy now. You should’ve been shy when you were touching yourself with me in the living room”

“Stop” he groaned again. “Let’s forget this”

“I can’t. I keep wishing I was in there” you whispered, feeling proud when the hair of his neck

“We should change the subject, I think”

“Yeah we should” you laughed, pulling him with you so you could both lay on the bed. “So, what’s our status now? We’re like, seeing if this could work?”

“You know this could work” he laid on his back so you could lay on top of him.

“Yeah but-”

“Just tell me what’s worrying you so much” he asked, one hand on your chin to make you look at him.

“I have a baby now, Mase. As my best friend I know you’ll always be there for her and for me” you sighed. “I don’t know if it makes sense but if she gets used to you and you’re my best friend, that’s okay to me. But I don’t know if I can let her get used to you as my boyfriend and then if things don’t work and we get distant I’ll have to rip someone from her life and I know she’s not capable of comprehending this yet but I am and-”

“Hey, take a breath, yeah?” he kissed the tip of your nose. “Are you sure you’re worried about me getting out of her life?”

“I don’t wanna have to rip you out of my life too, when things don’t work”

“But they’ll work”

“You can’t promise me that” you shrugged, closing your eyes to stop you from crying.

“No, but I can promise that if they don’t then I’ll still be here as the Mase you’ve always known”

“This never works, Mason. ‘Friendship comes first, if it gets wrong then we get back to being friends’. In the end, things never go back as they were. Plus, I don’t wanna have to get back to being your fucking friend” for some reason, you felt yourself losing patience, all those years wanting something and in the end being afraid of taking it.

“Then don’t”

“How you’re so calm” you snorted, rolling your eyes and staring at him again.

“I had my moment downstairs, now is your time” he kissed your forehead. “And I know how you feel. I’m tired of keeping it too”

“But I can’t be your girlfriend right now” you sighed, and your heart pounded when he slightly pulled out and nodded, instantly respecting you. Your precious boy. You clung to him tighter, biting his shoulder. “Not to the world, at least”

“We keep it between us?”

“Yeah, it’s our secret. And Aleyna’s”

“Liar” Mason poked your waist. “I bet you’ll tell Sarah as soon as she get here”

“No?! Not everything at least. But she can know we’re getting to know each other better” you smiled.

“Woody will know we’re getting to know each other too” he kissed your temple. “And Dec. Oh and I’ll have to tell Chilly”

“God, if you plan on telling all your boyfriends then the entire England team will know soon” you giggled, laughing when he tickled your waist carefully.

“Shut up”

“I still can’t believe you didn’t show up for almost three weeks just because you were feeling bad about something stupid” you whined. “You were supposed to be there”

“I’m sorry, pookie. But I was busy too, you know”

“Yeah, lots of training sessions and games to play” you rolled your eyes.

“Actually, I was remodelling one of the guest rooms. You should come visit to see how it is now” he kissed your head. “Or I can ask Ben to send a picture”

“Ben is there?”

“Yeah, apparently he doesn’t have a house anymore” it was Mason’s turn to roll his eyes.

“Ask him then, you got me curious”

“How does he know I’m the girlfriend?” you frowned at him.

“You’re the only girl I talk about” Mason shrugged, and you tried to hide the way only a simple phrase from him could make you feel like you were drunk. “Look”

“Mason!” you gasped, kneeling on the bed. “You didn’t”

“I did” he smiled, groaning in sequence. “Now lay back, you need to sleep”

“It’s beautiful, really” you kissed his face before snuggling against his body. “She’ll love it when she’s older”

“I hope so” he giggled. “I bet she’ll like me more than she’ll like Sarah”

“Mason! You’re unbelievable” you laughed, hiding your face in his neck.

He held you tight and caressed your lower back to try and make you relax. When you were about to fall asleep, Aleyna started to cry and you began to get up.

“I got it, yeah? You stay here and go back to sleep” Mason murmured, kissing your face before leaving the room.

You could hear him calming her, talking and murmuring a song and even taking some things from her wardrobe, but soon the tiredness took the best of you.

—

“How’s things going between my favourite couple?” Sarah cuddled you, resting her face on your shoulder and hugging your waist.

You were in Mason’s yard, sunbathing whilst watching him playing with a six months old Aleyna. He was about to start another season, so you, Sarah and his favourite kid were invited to stay at his house and attend the first game of the season.

“We’re good, baby. Really good” you smiled, a warm feeling spreading through your body.

Since Mason took you home from the hospital and the pair of you decided to try, things got different. He was still the silly Mason, always making you laugh and blush, but he also has this serious facet now. A version that is always worried about you and Aleyna, always making sure if his girls don’t need anything.

Not that he didn’t worry before, you’re sure he did. But it seems almost like a duty now. Like he knows he can show he’s worried and just taking care of what’s his.

For the past five months, he has been trying to visit you at Portsmouth once a week, so he can see Aleyna and spend time with you, and you try your best to bring her to him too.

He was there when she started babbling words, when she started to crawl. You brought her to Stamford Bridge when she was only three months old, and it was sweet how he would show her everything and everyone, even though she couldn’t understand a word.

During the summer break he got to see you and Aleyna more, choosing to spend it in Portsmouth, and the three of you celebrated your birthday in an intimate way, with cuddles, movies and a little cake Mason got you, but soon he was back to the pre-season games and now you’re back to seeing him once a week — in the best scenario.

You know this routine has been tiring as hell for him, but he never complains about it. Instead, he sighs and kisses you, then waits for you to bring Aleyna to sleep on his chest. So you sit and watch them.

Mason treats her like a father would. Like her father should. And it’s bittersweet. First of all, it makes you feel happy inside, because even though you didn’t give your baby the father she deserves, you know she’ll have Mason.

At the same time, you’re so worried about making him feel like a replacement. ‘The biological father didn’t want her, what do you think about taking all the responsibilities a child comes with?’

You know he loves her and spends time with her because he wants to, but you can’t stop the overthinking process.

But again, at the same time, you wish he wants to take the responsibilities. You wish he wants to be her father.

Above all, you just wish that Mason had told you years ago how he really felt about you, so that Aleyna could be his.

“You need to stop worrying, Y/N” Sarah read your expressions, knowing you too well. “We all can see their bond, the way he cares about her and how she’s always looking for him in the room. Those things comes naturally, and you can relax and be happy that your boyfriend loves your daughter and that she feels the same way”

“I know… they’re so cute, right?” you sighed. “I guess I’m just worried about what everyone else will think of it. What will his parents think of him taking care of a daughter that isn’t his? What his fans will think of it when- if we ever made it public. The world will be able to see that they were born to be in each other’s life or the only thing they’ll be aware off is that he is not her biological father?”

“I know the pair of you are still keeping it low and secret, exactly to avoid the pressure over the new relationship, but you shouldn’t be worrying about others' opinions, especially not about the fans. The only opinion you should care about is his, and you definitely don’t need to worry about Mason. You need to see how he looks at you and Aleyna. That boy is not leaving”

“I hope so” “She really likes him. I wish he was her dad”

Sarah hugged your waist, letting your words sink in. It was the first time you said it out loud, and you know she was thinking about the real dad.

“What do you mean?” she poked your waist. “He’s not?”

“Haha, silly” you rolled your eyes, looking for your phone when he buzzed.

“We all thought the same thing when you told us, Y/N. We all wanted you and Mase together. But now let’s think about good things, alright? If you think of the devil too much, he’ll eventually show up” Sarah giggled, pulling away so you could check the phone.

You wish she had said it earlier. You wish she had warned you about it earlier, because glowing on your screen there was a text from Walker Stone.

Taking a deep breath and looking over your phone, you smiled at a sweaty Mason trying to teach Aleyna to walk. You could hear his giggles and hers, and when he noticed you were looking, he helped your daughter to blow you a kiss before winking at you.

With this image in mind, you texted Walker back.

next chapter ->

[whatshisfaceblogs]

BTVS “Every Outfit” “Gone” Xx

I hoping that I can be open an honest with y’all, you’ve always been so kind and it makes me want to be controversial yet brave with you …

I hate Buffy’s “haircut” era …

When styled better later this season it’s not so bad but that initially flicked styling is not my fantasy, I hope y’all can understand hahah.

I feel like I managed to capture the wiggy-ness of Buffy’s hair in the first part of this episode hahaha who where they trying to fool.

Buffy’s looks are a little edgy this episode, maybe even grungy you could say? I really like that sheer black tank top with the jeans and the bedazzled belt!!!

Trying to get the right colour in that jacket was a trial, thoughts brown or green???

[katchleeifyoucan]

so, i’ve held off on making a post like this for a while now, but recently i’ve received a couple of asks wondering if my dms are open and i want to explain a little bit more as to why they’re not

some days i wish they were. i really do. but if i can be completely honest with you all, i love my somewhat small little nook in our community right now, and the amount of communication i currently have going with some people in the community is just right for my mental health

i don’t really have any friends in the community anymore. i just have a lot of mutuals who reach out every now and then (and i really do try my best to reach out to them too, but i’ll be the first to admit that i’m really really shit at doing so)

how often we’ll talk depends on the mutual, but the point is: i don’t talk to anyone daily anymore

and it’s honestly amazing

okay i know that sounds shitty, like, “i’m so glad i have no friends” lol. and let me clarify rq— it’s NOT to say that ANY past friendships that i made were awful or draining or regrettable in ANY way. despite them not being made to last, i value the friendships i had in this community, and i cared (and still do care) about those people so fucking much

but building new friendships is already soooo fucking draining. add the online barrier and it honestly just sucks the energy out of my body so quickly. that being said, not opening myself back up to new people and conversations right away ended up being the best decision i could have made for myself. and so even though i’m doing better mentally now, i can’t risk opening myself back up just yet. i barely have the energy to maintain my in-person friendships lol. so i hope you can understand why dms are closed

i want to finish up with two messages

1. to all my lovely mutuals— i appreciate you so much. i appreciate you for understanding my fragility and for never pushing my boundaries. and i’m truly sorry that i barely reach out. but it genuinely makes me so happy when you guys continue to reach out to me 🫶🏼

2. to all the lovely people that would like to be mutuals— i appreciate you too. and i’m sorry i don’t have the room in my life right now to make space for new people. but it genuinely makes me so happy that you enjoy my blog and want to get to know me better 🥺

okayyyy i think that’s all for now. thank you for all the love y’all. i truly don’t deserve it, but i appreciate it so so much 💕

xx Kat

[arteastica]

Hi guys! I hope everyone is having an amazing week so far! I’m good, but due to personal reasons, chapter 14 of my story “Early in the morning, especially when it rains, and a little before noon” will be coming to y’all’s dashboards on October 29th instead of the weekly schedule we had. I tried to have it ready by the weekend, but in the end I decided it was better to take my time instead of rushing it, you know to preserve quality🙈 I don’t want to risk it looking like that one game of thrones horse meme. Thank you beforehand for understanding, my esteemed readers. I am very sorry guys. I’m working on it🥹❤️ Thank you for your continuous support to this story! See you again soon! xx arteastica

[viviennelamb]

Are you “4b” if you still care about what somebody who sucks dick says? You still value what heterosexuals and bisexuals say, for what?

One day these movements are going to realize the average XY and XX is the same. Stop looking at the physical. You become the people you’re around the most and that only accelerates when you’re swapping juices with them. Most women have dick on the brain; when I say they’re mentally ill, I mean it in the truest sense.

every trait you have is a choice. When somebody speaks and acts, observe and takes notes. If you wish to engage in a reactionary manner, that is also a choice. When you understand what you’re looking at, nothing is surprising or hurtful anymore.

In a way these same sex attracted XXs need a wake up call, so I hope heterosexuals keep being their hateful selves cause y’all think you can reform her like they try to reform the XY.

[squaloropera]

alright, I was originally gonna make this as a comic but I’m really busy so I can’t manage that. I swear, this is my last anti-fujoshi post and then we’ll be back to our regularly scheduled inane nonsense.

firstly, I’ve seen a lot of people saying that they dislike the term ‘fujoshi’ to describe these people because of its misogynistic origins. I find this to be reasonable, so I will be referring to them as maiali pervertiti instead. It’s Italian! Hope y’all like it xx That out of the way, let’s begin.

I have put real, genuine, actual research into this. I scoured maiali pervertiti blogs to find their arguments, their mindsets, their justifications. As far as I could find, there are four main arguments. These being the following: ‘It’s just fiction, not reality’, ‘Hating us is misogynistic’ ‘hating us is transphobic/homophobic’ and ‘hating us is racist’. I will be unpacking each of these, looking at them from both perspectives, and explaining why exactly they’re flawed perspectives. Hopefully, a properly researched and informed take on this will help to clear the waters.

Let’s start with the first take. The ever-quoted ‘it’s just fiction, not reality’. This is an argument you’ll find in a lot of places, mostly in any place which is in support of questionable things being treated as erotic. Pro ships and pro-shippers also love to tote this. Now, on its surface this argument seems logical. However it starts to fall apart when you think about it critically. When we consider how the brain works, you’ll see what I mean. To be concise, the human mind slowly accepts things the more it’s exposed to justifications for them, regardless of how reasonable those justifications are. It associates a bad thing with ‘but nevermind, it’s fine’ and you stop feeling shame or regret over time. This is why you’ll often see lolicons say downright atrocious things about child characters- they’ve justified it for so long that they don’t see a problem with it.

Now, on the ‘it doesn’t affect reality’ claim, let’s look at other groups for this. Think about how many studies have been done saying that men who watch rape porn are more likely to become rapists. Think of all the people raised on the ‘I can fix him’ mentality on tv growing up to get in bad relationships or romanticise abuse under the idea that they can make an abuser better by loving him. It’s no secret of society that, actually, fiction does affect reality. The most concise, albeit silly way I’ve heard it put was ‘But you’re still jacking off to it. It’s affecting your dick and balls’. And I think that sums it up.

Next, let’s look at the ‘If you hate us you’re misogynistic’ claim. The mentality behind this claim is that women in Japan were referred to as ‘rotten girl’ for liking yaoi and bl, and to continue that rhetoric of not liking them is the continuation of misogyny. Again, this is a take that seems logical right up until you pick it apart. First we have to understand that the reason these men were calling these women rotten was because they disapproved of them exploring their sexuality and reading erotic content at all. They don’t hate women for reading gay porn, they hate women for reading porn period. The gay people criticising maiali pervertiti on tumblr aren’t hating them for the same reason. We don’t hate you for reading porn, read all the porn you’d like, we just want you to stop fetishising us. The difference is in the context; the men who were shaming Japanese women were shaming them for exploring their sexualities, were shaming you for treating an entire minority of people like they’re a porn category and for spreading gross, abusive content of mlm because you think it’s hot. It’s also important to note that Japanese women mostly started reading yaoi and bl because of the culture toward female sexuality in Japan. They couldn’t read erotica of straight couples, or they’d be seen as perverts. They couldn’t read wlw erotica, or they’d be seen as lesbians and shamed. Their only option for exploring their sexuality became mlm erotica. You, Lindsey from California, do not share this same issue.

Next we have the ever-irritating ‘If you hate us, you’re a transphobe’ argument.

*deep, deep sigh*

stay with me, fellow trans achillians. We can get through this. This argument is based in the idea that transmascs, specifically mlm transmascs, might read yaoi to explore their genders through sexual content. Unfortunately, exploring your gender through erotica and having a fetish are two different things. I personally did explore my gender through gay sexual content. Mostly fanfiction and mental fantasy, but with the odd fanart or comic sprinkled in there for flavour. The difference is that I never had a fetish for it. Most maiali pervertiti seem to argue with a very subtle straw man by implying that reading mlm content is the same as reading the gross rape porn yaoi that ‘fujoshi’ spaces are steeped in. This is not the case- there is a clear divide. I personally consumed actual, healthy content of gay sex. To go further with this argument, I actually think it’s actively harmful to perpetuate the idea that young trans people struggling with their gender should be exploring it through the things that are spread in fujoshi spaces. I’ve read some pf this stuff mostly by accident or against my will and that shit should not be associated in a young trans person’s mind with their gender. It isn’t safe.

Next we have ‘it’s homophobic to hate us’ which is definitely. A take. The rhetoric here is that by hating on the fetishisation consumption of yaoi, you’re really just hating gay men.

this is just… can I drop the nuance voice here? It’s bullshit. It’s gross bullshit. Gross, steaming, cowpat bullshit. Okay, nuance voice back up, let’s explore. maiali pervertiti, please understand that it’s mostly gay people who don’t like you. This is, again, a straw man argument. They’re trying to yell homophobia so they can ignore the real criticisms. The problem isn’t the homosexuality, my dear sweet perverted little fucking weirdos, it’s the rape porn and incest and abuse. Just read normal fucking mlm content I’m begging you.

Finally, we have the ‘it’s racist to hate us’ argument. This is an example of what I like to call ‘the firemen diversion’. This name comes from an example where a person might take the statistic of their being higher fatality risk the more firemen walk into a burning building, and then using it as an argument to suggest that it’s dangerous to call the fire brigade if there’s a fire. There’s a tiny nugget of reasonable argument in there, but it’s backing up a complete and utter bullshit lie.

This is basically what this argument is. The idea here is that the term ‘fujoshi’ was originally a reclaimed slur, and that westerners are changing it to degrade women again and are therefore misunderstanding the actual language behind it.

Now, this is based in a little bit of truth. Westerners do, in all fairness, misunderstand the term. I can’t speak for the reclamation of the slur, considering how I don’t know if that’s true, but I do know that the way it’s used has been quite incorrect a lot of the time. That’s the true bit. The rest of the argument, however, is nonsensical. While yes, some people misunderstand the word ‘fujoshi’, it doesn’t mean that the criticism of the culture (especially the culture in the western world) is racist. Please, don’t cry racism when you see people asking not to be fetishised. You will end up making the actual movement against anti-Asian hate crimes (which have increased in recent years, need I remind you) look less credible. Once again, I am asking allies to shut the fuck up talking for the minorities they claim to represent while being batshit insane x

TL;DR: no, it is not misogynistic, racist, transphobic or homophobic when gay people tell you to stop fetishising us. Stop arguing straw men and just take accountability.

Also, maiali pervertiti are the female equivalent of straight men who watch lesbian porn. But somehow worse. That’s all, have a good day.

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Monday, March 25

PIKE: This is Benny. And I'm... Pike. BUFFY: Pike isn't a name. It's a fish.

~~Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992)~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Stronger Than Before (Angel/Fred, T) by Pinkperson

[Chaptered Fiction]

The Body Switch Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, Adult only) by Spikelover4ever

Not Just a Boy and a Girl (It's Just the End of the World) Chapter 10 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by noctilucent

The Vision Quest Chapter 12 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by acb6293

Because the Night Chapter 2 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Cheeky Kitten

Hope is the thing with feathers Chapter 8 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Will_

Out of the Wasteland Chapter 26 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Hallow Turner

Embrace Chapter 26 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by Hallow Turner

We’re Having a Baby! Chapter 26 (Buffy/Spike, Adult only) by Maxine Eden

30 Ways to Say I Love You Chapter 26 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Maxine Eden

Bizarre Double Life Chapter 26 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by violettathepiratequeen

Left on Read Chapter 25 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by ashcrashed

Something Lingers Chapter 10 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by goodbyetoyou

Triangles Chapter 26 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by ClowniestLivEver

The Balance Chapter 26 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by ClowniestLivEver

Enemies to Ghost Hunters Chapter 26 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by ClowniestLivEver

Quality Time Chapter 25 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by MaggieLaFey

The Dreaded Lurgi Chapter 25 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by SomeKindOfADeviant

Love Lives Here Chapter 40 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Passion4Spike

Pick Me Up Chapter 25 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by Dusty

The joining of souls Chapter 17 (Xander/Cordelia/Tara, FR13) by delfine

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork:Spuffy doodles by frenchublog

Artwork:Buffy Portraits(16-20) Xx by whatshisfaceblogs

Artwork:The last four of the major arcana are done by isevery0nehereverystoned

Artwork:doodles by nyxchipz

Podcast:Episode 21 - The Broward County Peephole Thing (The Dark Age) by thesunnydalediaries

[Fandom Discussions]

In angel s5e2 they do a little flashback to Spike’s blaze of glory moment in the last episode of Buffy… but they leave out Buffy saying “I love you” by bloomfish

One of my favourite things about the Buffyverse is the lore about the extended demon society by bloomfish

Xander’s first scene in the show is being distracted and hurting himself looking at Buffy by suncaptor

random thoughts about the ‘cookie dough’ speech by summerroomspring

30 Day Challenge: BtVS vs AtS continued by multiple posters

Rewatch thoughts and questions continued by multiple posters

Elimination Game : Writer's Best BtVS Episode continued by multiple posters

Favourite Episode of the High School Years continued by multiple posters

Would you have tried to rehabilitate Faith after Consequences? continued by multiple posters

So about that whole…”Wesley X Cordy” thing… by Plasma

so i’ve delved into the buffy comic verse by SageHedgeHag

Episode Battle (Part 4) by Dappich

buffy using violence in arguments by Calm_Phone_6848

What Buffy opinion makes you feel like this? by SafiraAshai

Can Buffy be held accountable for trying to kill her friends? by brwitch

who are y’all defending? by No_Performance223

Which is your favorite phase of Rupert Giles? by jdpm1991

2x15 'Phases' is actually a Xander episode by jm_leviathan

Something I don't understand about Xander and Anya's wedding day by DistributionRight620

"No Faith, this isn't about the people affected by your actions, you shouldn't consider that" by debujandobirds

Drop some cruel & ruthless Buffyverse lines by PristineSituation498

Submit a link to be included in the newsletter!

[shawnxstyles]

i know i’ve been insanely inactive, but i’m lowkey going through it right now. i’m trying to stay focused, so i can get through this little bump. hope y’all can understand xx

[heyharoldsboo]

Y’all I am seeing your asks in my inbox.

As I have said, I am not in a good frame of mind to go down some questions. I hope you understand and respect that.

I’ve clearly not answered some things well or given context, and I am sorry for that, but I am absolutely exhausted. I’ve been trying my best to help and protect Percy. I hope everyone here sees that.

I’m not gone, but I am taking some time for myself, using this lull in stuff happening. Hopefully it will stay this way.

I’m sorry I can’t be the place for you all to gossip or vent right now.

Love you all.

xx

Ana

[raccoon-in-ankhmorpork]

Hello, void I intend to scream my sorrows into. This is the kind of thing I downloaded tumblr for—my fandom-related rants, to drop them into the void and feel like I got rid of them even if nobody ever reads this.

So, Kit Connor (Nick Nelson in “Heartstopper”) just came out on the infamous bird app. Did he want to? No. He felt pressured by the fanbase. THIS BOY IS 18, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? I’m the same age as Kit, and just thinking of how he must be feeling gives me such anxiety. Nobody should ever feel forced to come out, least of all young and newly famous actors like Kit.

The thing I don’t understand is how it was fans of freaking “Heartstopper” that pressured him into this. Are you kidding me? This is a show about queer youth, about the hardships we face in being perceived as different; Alice Oseman tactfully and brilliantly handled these themes, and y’all just consume that media and decide to pressure an 18-year-old into coming out bc you’re—what, curious about it?? HOW DID WE WATCH THE SAME SHOW???? I am baffled and disappointed in this fandom. Every time, you think “hey, this content is so wholesome and has such an important message, there’s no way anyone is a fan of it and also a complete asshole”, and EVERY TIME you are proven wrong. God-fucking-dammit.

Welp, that’s what I came here to complain about. All my heart goes out to Kit. I hope he’s doing okay, and I hope this fandom does better in the future, bc if “Heartstopper” can have a fanbase this deplorable then I truly think our future is bleak. Peace and love, people, peace and love (except for those who pressured Kit into this—nothing but war and hate to them, xx).

[literaturewithliz]

could i get this for the chronicals of narnia pls? xx and/or harry potter (preferably marauders' era <33)

i'm an enfp and a ravenclaw. my zodiac signs are sagittarius sun, virgo moon and leo rising. i'm 5''3 with auburn curly hair and a petite (i think??) hourglass figure. i have dark bluey/green eyes & freckles all year round<3

i like to dress alt, with maybe a little cottagecore. my go-to outfits are usually things like baggy jeans, tight crop tops & leather jackets. i also like floral dresses & long skirts <3 i have adhd so i can't really wear certain stuff because of sensory issues.

i would describe myself as observant, fun, genuine, intuitive and witty. i'm an introverted extrovert & need a lot of breaks from people. i can be pretty anxious about things most people find ok, but i'd say i'm pretty good at handling those moments. i prefer talking to listening - although i love asking people questions abt themselves & getting to know their dreams. i'd say i'm an idealist but i also have realist aspects & have a pretty sarcastic sense of humour i'm also a massive hopeless romantic and my love language is quality time - and sometimes physical touch.

i like old cities, anything vintage, astrology, reading, spotify playlists, baking, psychology, 90s/2000s romcoms and greek myths. my favourite season is the autumn (although i think my personality has more of a spring vibe) & i love it when it rains. i like 60s-80s music - the beatles, david bowie, Fleetwood mac & a couple of the smiths songs - and my favourite movie is when harry met sally

Oh my god I’m so sorry this took me forever. But thank you so much for the request!

***

Chronicles of Narnia

I match you with Edmund Pevensie!

I saw that you said your sense of humor was sarcastic and that sealed the deal for me. He loves your sarcasm, but his siblings get annoyed sometimes at how you and Ed will attack them with sarcasm just for fun. Other than that, your and extroverted introvert? He can relate. I wouldn’t say he’s an extroverted introvert himself, just an introvert. However, he can relate to the needing alone time part, so he’s really understanding when you wanna be alone. I think his love language would be quality time too. In a setting where you two are comfortable and alone so y’all can just talk. Or in a setting where you two are thrilled on a great adventure. Edmund just loves that he’s with you. You mentioned liking Greek mythology, and Edmund strikes me as the guy who had a Greek mythology phase is middle school. I know middle school isn’t a thing in the UK bit shhh. Other than your similarities, your differences also bring the best in each other, I think. You said your an idealist, and I think Edmund is a pessimist. He helps you see reason, and you help him have more open-minded thoughts. You said your personality is like spring, and I think his is like autumn.

Harry Potter (Marauders era)

I match you with James Potter!

You say that your idealistic and fun, and that describes James very well, I think. Your wit is what draws him to you, I think. He likes someone who bounces off of his sarcasm and jokes really well. I think he’s most definitely an extrovert, so he has trouble understanding how you feel about alone time, but he doesn’t let that stop him from treating your feelings with respect. He wants you to know that you never have to feel bad for requesting alone time. James puts a lot of emphasis on trust in a relationship, so expect to always be asked if everything’s okay or if there’s something you’d like to tell him. Also, he’s a hopeless romantic, just like you. I just know that he is. You talk about having anxiety, and I think that James can’t really relate, but like I said, he values trust. So he wants you to be able to trust that he will do his very best to make sure your calm and comfortable.

I hope you liked the matchup!

[ghostsxagain]

//hello friends! it’s been awhile. here’s some update stuff!

so things are starting to go a little better. I’m slowly working out a plan for some care. and I ended up emailing my professor and told him that I was behind and struggling and really not doing well. and he was so understanding and accomodating and it made me so happy. he sent me the lecture recordings right through email and I’ve been catching up on those all weekend, prepping for the test tomorrow (which is not timed and we literally have all day to do it so yay). he also gave me massive extensions for the essays, which was beyond kind of him. for my other class I just submitted the essay now and even if it’s not good, it won’t be a 0 and that counts for something. 

I’m starting to feel motivated again. I had a deep conversation with one of my closest friends friday night (we went out to a drag show and spent hours outside talking) and I really needed to get stuff off my chest. then Jamie and I had a really lovely, honest conversation today. as much as my anxiety brain wants to tell me otherwise, I have some amazing people in my life that I can rely on to support me while I navigate bettering myself.

now relating to tumblr. yes, I have a lot of drafts. yes, I owe starters. yes, I have bios to do. and this will all certainly be done in time. I’m not going to put a deadline date on it because that’s just not fair to me (or to y’all if I can’t meet it & break a promise) so I just ask for some patience. feel free to IM me if you’re curious about a pending reply, I don’t mind at all.

also, I have decided to actually boot up and use the sideblog I made two years ago for canon muses. the few that I have on here will be moved there, as will their threads (which I think right now is only Buffy so I will reach out personally to all affected when the time comes). I’m still tinkering with themes and stuff but I’ll drop the url when it’s ready. spoiler alert: your girl is SUPER into Stranger Things and The Quarry right now so expect muses from both on this new blog okay!

if anyone took the time to read my rantings, thank you, I love you. and I hope you’re all having a lovely night xx //

[shameonmeeguiltypleasure]

I'm very excited for the next SMB update🥰

I'm so grateful for your patience xx

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, I have a lot of plans for my SMB universe.

Chapter 8 is getting a very deep editing makeover right now, and some scenes are getting cut buuuut...... they will be reappearing in my version of Eloise's story 'To Sir Phillip, with Pleasure' :))

So yes, there's a lot of excitement to be had and I'm so very happy to know readers are feeling it too.

So have a sneak read of a bit of Eloise's Pov that will feature in 'To Sir Phillip, with Pleasure'.

I’m actively cutting out Eloise’s Pov in SMB and putting them aside for TSPWP. Eloise is a smart woman, y’all. She knows exactly how SMB is going to end. But just because it’s inevitable, it doesn’t mean she has to make it easy.

So I do hope you enjoy this very short snippet xx

Sincere Gratitude,

ShameOnMee

As the best friend to a wallflower, one learned the best ways to escape notice. It was a skill Eloise rarely ever put into practice. Not when her mother had a talent for knowing how to thwart her attempts. But against her siblings? When in need of relief from their overbearing presence and occasional harassment? Eloise could disappear like a ghost in the wind.

Just as Penelope could be boldly outspoken, Eloise could shroud herself with invisibility whenever she desired. It was rare, but it was indeed possible.

Escaping Anthony’s watchdog presence was simple. For all he claimed he wished to see her wedded, Anthony would never let any of his sisters court without properly assessing the suitor of interest. Eloise only needed to show the barest of interest in a man and Anthony would metaphorically gut the man in conversation – asking after his every intention, dissecting him for every weakness.

Anthony might wish for her to settle on a suitor, but she knew he would only bless it if it were to be a love match. Especially so after his many blunders during Daphne's courtships.

Eloise checked to see if her eldest brother was still occupied with poor Mister Porter. Even from her hiding spot among the plants, she could see the shine of his sweat as Anthony interrogated him about his prospects.

“As if I would settle for a man without mystery,” she muttered with disgust.

Eloise watched the room, searching for her favourite redhead among the guests. But upon finding her dearest friend Eloise was overwhelmed by a sudden rush of indignant fury. From her current position, Eloise had the perfect view of Penelope by the refreshments table. A view that unfortunately included her most infuriating sibling.

Should anyone with a brain think to notice, the looks exchanged between her brother and Penelope lacked any sort of innocence and propriety. They looked at each other with hunger, a hunger Eloise only ever noticed between her Parents and her siblings towards their spouses.

She knew of Penelope’s love for her brother. While she didn’t exactly rejoice in the fact, she accepted its existence. At a certain point, she thought to even encourage it. Penelope would legally be her sister and a Bridgerton! The only possible way to claim her as a family member without bloodshed, blackmailing or even kidnapping.

But Colin didn't deserve Penelope. How dare he spend years running away from something so obvious!? How dare he, now after so many years of inadvertently hurting her friend due to stupidity, believe himself entitled to Penelope's love!!!?

Eloise loved her brother, but he needed to know just how lucky he was to be the one man her best friend fell in love with. He needed to know, that despite Penelope’s wallflower nature, he was still the man she chose despite her many options!! If not for Eloise, for Anthony, hell even the Featheringtons, another man could have swept into Penelope’s life and stolen her heart while he was oceans away doing god knows what. 

And if it meant she'd have to allow other men the privilege of approaching Penelope for him to understand, so be it.....

- To Sir Phillip, with Pleasure: Eloise Pov of the Smythe-Smith Musicale (SMB chapter 8) 

[thebackseatofjimsblazer]

Currently taking a short break from writing my fics so I can dye my hair. Hope y’all understand xx