#hopefully I can get around to finish the first chapters for both

[angielalalu]

I’ve been really really tired lately but at the same time I’ve also felt way more motivated to draw n write

And have actually made progress on both art and story stuff 🙌

[hollyhomburg]

Before I Leave You (Pt.71)

(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)

Summary: Freedom isn't always a good thing... sometimes stupid pups get in trouble.

Tags: slight angst, lying, implied psychopath Jin, Confirmed autistic Jimin, discussion of murder and killing others, Jimin and Jin both have dubious morality, needy m/c, Frottage, Teasing, Knotting, knot-fucking, desperate sex, messiness kink, (slight) pleasure dom hobi 👀, public sex, riding, squirting, car sex

W/c: 15.6k

A/n: it's kinda crazy that this chapter, last chapter, and next chapter was supposed to be a single chapter (it would have been over 30k), this one is my least favorite out of the bunch! please give it a bunch of love when it comes out though 🥺 if you don't love it i'll be sad!

Previous part - Masterlist - First part

The pack goes back to work the next week, nursing hangovers and hurts and everything in between. Every injury both visible and not.

Hoseok's bruises get covered up by Tae's makeup every morning, color corrector applied in thin layers, and then foundation, and then Pink lipstick kisses over top. Tae's lips, your lips, everyone's lips, pressed to those thankful inches between Hoseok's head and his heart.

It becomes their little ritual- and on the nights that Hobi's nightmares keep him awake- her concealer goes under his eyes too. And his lips get pressed more reverently with kisses. Easing apart his tense pout and his frown like the sun parts petals into bloom. It's sweet, the way that Hoseok surrenders himself so willingly to Tae's doting.

Hoseok doesn't know if he likes the makeup as much as he likes the attention. From both you and her.

There’s barely a morning that you don’t wrap yourself around Hoseok’s back while Tae does his makeup, nuzzling against his nape, sneaking your cold hands under the hem of his sweatshirt. alternating between dragging your throat down the crest of his back so that everyone knows he has an omega to come home to, and sleeping curled between. Staying close to your alpha's (the easy ones, the ones that aren't still mad at you).

Hoseok's not the only one who's still dealing with the aftereffects of what happened. The physical side effects and the mental ones.

Jimin still says up and guards the door most nights too, perched on the edge of the nest listening for anyone or anything that might be coming to hurt you. The protective parts of him fester in the meantime before he heals enough to go back to work. He's got too much time on his hands to wory.

He's only diligent with his physical therapy because you tattle on him to Namjoon when he doesn’t do his exercises. Eager to be good, eager to do anything you can to please the pack alpha.

It hasn’t escaped any of them that you’ve been extra agreeable and extra obedient recently. Eager to please. Eager to make up for what happened. Jimin isn’t bothered by it so much- if only because having something to do seems to make you happy. He’ll gladly tolerate you hounding him.

Especially when you bound up to Namjoon to give him a report when he comes home from work, on the receiving end of a very genuine "good pup, making sure your alphas are careful' from Namjoon. especially on those days when that is the only praise that the pack alpha gives you.

It’s not that Namjoon and Yoongi have been treating you coldly, just that there’s a small distance between the two of them and you. Kisses that would have lasted minutes only last second (or they aren’t initiated at all when it comes to Yoongi). Jimin wishes it didn’t remind him of how Tae treated him after she came out but it does.

Hopefully, like with her, Namjoon and Yoongi just need time.

You ask him about it, midmorning stretched out in Tae’s library room where you both wait for her to finish deciding what dress she’ll torture you both with today. You three have taken to hanging out together here. You and Jimin cuddled up on the couch, doing PT, watching Tictok’s, napping, kissing cuddling. Placing shy touches below the pulled blankets to see how far you can go before Tae notices and stops you both with a disapproving lilt to her eyebrows.

“I said no sex- if you guys are gonna hang out with me while I work- you’ve gotta behave.”

You’d melted below the covers and Jimin had firmly placed his hands back over the covers, noticeably damper than they were the last time Tae saw them.

“Sorry mommy,” recalcitrant enough to avoid a spanking (but maybe that is what you’d wanted- what you’d needed). But getting scolded is part of the fun, teasing, seeing how far you can push each other until you break.

You'd squirmed against Jimin's thigh as she'd gone back to work. clicking away at her keyboard without giving you a second glance. "you're not even going to like, let him finish-" You're whiney. Need and wanting down to your bones, a wanting that is only heightened by the vision Tae strikes today; the peachy set of silky bloomers and ruffled top that shows off the little bit of cleavage she has now.

She'd just leaned over the back of her chair and eyed you up and down. "No, if you want to distract me from my book you can suffer pup."

You'd whined and Jimin had hid his laugh in your shoulder. "No buts pup. Maybe later, If you're good, then you can bounce on Jiminie's knot all pretty for me."

"Yes Mommy." But you hadn't ended up doing any of that. You'd fallen asleep curled up around Jiminie (whose hands had unfortunately remained on his phone and above the covers), to the others already awake and at home and would you please help water the plants with Hoseokie pup? You know he doesn't always notice when they overflow.

It’s been harder for you to ask for things since the day you almost ran away. A wanting that can't be sated by simple touches and kisses simmering low in your stomach. Burning through you at strange moments.

Like another moment when you and Jimin are in the library room again. Tae is reorganizing and fussing. What you'd call nesting if she was an omega. The desk is on the opposite wall today. it's Cramped, it won't stay like this for long. The couch moved below the bay window.

You watch Jimin's face as he looks out that window, at the way that the wind tears at the trees around your house, makes them bob and creek, showing the silvery underside of their leaves.

It’s easier for you to Jimin all sorts of questions because he’s not mad at you. (Sometimes you feel like he's the only one who's not mad at you for what you did.)

“Have you thought about how you’ll do it yet?”  

The paranoid bits stretch out and teem. The worst part of Jimin have festered in the meantime. Maybe he'd be less restless if he had something to do but the danger has passed now.

Moonbyul seems like she’s truly gone, you’ve heard neither hide nor hair from her- absolutely nothing since the day that she left. No one from the family has tried to contact Yoongi. Even Jin’s unceremonious exit from the FBI had gone without struggle or suspicion.

Jimin had just continued to watch the window, the spring raindrops drifting down the pain of glass all slow. “Thought about how I’d do what?”

You’d raised your eyebrow at him, and thankfully Tae had come in and disrupted whatever conversation you might have had about murders that might need doing. Twirling in the doorway and showing off her slinky dark green lingerie for you and tae to oooh and ahhh at. Your questions forgotten.

Sleeping bears don’t do well when they’re poked. Jimin knows that. The others know that. It might seem pity as far as retribution goes (Jimin still gets angry when he sees the bruises on Hobi’s throat or watches Namjoon examine the scars that crisscross your hands, red and angry. Or the nights that tae twitches in her sleep).

Maybe the best retribution is to live like this- free and unincumbered by anything like revenge. Revenge is also a burden. Revenge means you still care about what happened to you, that it still hurts, that you're still bleeding. Jimin doesn't know if he wants to be bleeding anymore. His alpha that hungers for blood and pain wars with what Jimin knows will logically help the pack more.

But Jimin’s not the only one who's feeling a little paranoid. A little unfulfilled.

The pack instills a buddy system for those who go to work still and for any excursions outside the house. No one goes anywhere alone. Jin starts driving Namjoon to work every morning and picking him up every evening. With kisses and coffee and snacks, especially on the days that Namjoon has long surgeries and he comes home exhausted. Jin like Jimin is trying his hardest not to be too idle. He turns in his sparkly FBI badge and his weapon the first day he's sober enough to drive. 

Your recipe book and an audio file of Jimin's, yours, and Yoongi's 'interviews' where you explain everything gets locked in a safe that Jin knows the code to. Gets built into the wall in the basement and plastered over. It’s an afterthought, something just in case (you’ll never need it).

There are a lot of other things for Jin to fixate on now. Not everything is good.   

It’s a difficult conversation that Jin doesn’t want to have. Especially not with the pups. This is a conversation that’s too big, too stressful, too much for you to handle- that Jin is certain of.

You certainly look very pupish this morning, still dressed in the matching pink pj’s that Jin left out for you last night, you’d firmly followed his showering instructions not to scrub too hard and even let him button you into them and brush your hair (something you don’t always let Jin do, sometimes you ask for your mommy to do it instead and Tae takes that pleasure from Jin’s fingers with a feral smile).

Your body perfectly moisturized and taken care of, skin glowing and supple and healthy under Jin's inspectory touches. A perfectly obedient pup. So so good it had Jin purring and scenting you so thoroughly you’d gone sweet and dizzy and dependent.

But for once, for this morning, Jin feels like he's dependent on you.

The whole pack will be dependent on you financially. If you decide what Jin thinks you’ll choose.

Jin looks at you across the table (small, yawning, still sleepy, tipping into namjoon and clearly itching for an alpha and a nest) and can’t help but wonder if this conversation, this ask, is best left for later. After having so many difficult conversations in such a short period of time he's lost his taste for them.

Without Jin earning an income right now, the pack’s finances aren’t quite as orderly as they could be. As they should be. Hoseok, Jungkook, and Namjoon are the only ones working now, and Jimin won’t be bringing nearly as much in as he was before- something Jin knows the pup is worried about- he’d even asked if he should get a second job. Having any of his pups overworked is something Jin can’t handle.

And Namjoon is already overworked. Namjoon confessed a little thoughtlessly a few days ago after his first big surgery back- that it’s a good thing he hadn’t quit his job yet. He might not quit it at all now with the pack in limbo. That had been your last straw, and you’d asked Jin if there was anything you could do to help.

That’s a lie- you knew there was something you could do. Sitting in that little file that Moonbyul had dropped off with Hobi’s car all those months ago. The things you’d inherited from Geumjae’s estate as his late wife. The beach house abroad, the apartment in Miami, and the brownstone that had housed his final moments in a city far far away that you don’t ever want to return to.

What other use can it serve?

Yoongi had used most of his Geumjae’s life insurance payout to buy the house and renovate it. And you’ve been living off the leftovers since then, but even that sum won't last forever.

It's a good thing property in Manhattan never depreciates in value.

“This is a lot of money, and I’d understand if you didn’t want to-”

You roll your eyes at Jin, crossing your arms bratty, if Jin were less stressed he might be inclined to take you over his lap for that one. But he wants all of your faculties on board right now. Big financial decisions and omegaspace do not mix well.

Jin is to anxious about this to want to make you submit. Too worried about pushing you too far, asking you for something you might not want to give and overstepping. The clothes and doting are easier- Jin knows exactly how to take care of you that way. He knows exactly what you want when it comes to that.

“Jin, I do not give a shit, like honestly.”

Namjoon is wordless between the two of you, massaging down your and Jin’s necks to soothe you. You don’t understand why he’s pussyfooting around it. What Geumjae has left you and trying to find something to do with it, some way to help the pack, isn't something you're nervous or unsure about. Not even a little bit.

You don’t mind, you really don’t mind. If it helps them stay fat and happy, they can take all of it.

His eyes go softer, less cagey. You lean forward at the kitchen table. Reaching for his hand. He lets you take it. “Jin, just say it-” Jin bites his lip and throws the pen onto the table with a clatter.

“If you sell the house in New York City and put even like 1/3 of it into a trust. The pack would be set for the rest of our lives off the interest alone. Even more if we go the private equity route. Even our kids could-”

Tae calls from the library room, leaning back in her chair to shout through the open door. Clearly listening in on your conversation. “I am not raising trust fund pups hyung!”

Namjoon barks a laugh, “no one is talking about pups yet Tae” he strokes down the nape of Jin’s neck gently, delicately. And you know he’s fixated on the idea of /////yet and when that yet will become soon.

Jin's not getting any younger. Although you and Jungkook are still firmly in your 20's. Jin's going to have to make some big life decisions soon. Not this year and not the next. But the year after definitely.

It’s hard for Jin, to balance what he knows is logically here on the table and what is best for you. He's not sure that he'd make the same choice- the decision to support a pack that you have not known for a calendar year yet (although the anniversary of Jimin finding Yoongi again is sneaking up on you. You’ll have to figure out a day that you want as your anniversary.)

To make decisions with them in mind seems a little…illogical. From a practical perspective. Jin has had these sentiments shoved down his throat since he was a pup. all omega's have.

Don't mate someone until you've known them for a year, don't move in together until you've dated someone for 6 months, and certainly don't combine finances if you don’t like the shape of an alpha’s knot. be a strong independant omega!

You reach for your water and namjoon grabs it for you, holding it so that you can suck at the draw. putting it at the other end of the table to that you don't risk spilling it. wiping the moisture off the corner of your lip when he's done.

Jin huffs. Independance is never something you've wanted- clearly.

All said and done It’s an easy decision for you. Giving them space and time to heal after what you’ve brought down on them and a bit of financial freedom on top of your newfound physical freedom.

You don’t put 1/3 of it into a trust, you end up putting all of it after some discussion.

Jin handles everything involved with selling the brownstone. From contacting a broker to verifying through lawyers that still hold ownership over the property and getting everything notarized. He does all the legwork of opening up a fucking trust to put the frankly insane amount of money that the brownstone goes for in it. Your name on it because namjoon had insisted, and then the pack alpha and omega.

You’re incredibly thankful that you don’t have to go back to the city (especially since you hated it so much in winter and wet springs.) You don’t even bother going back there to get some of your things. You know it probably accumulated dust in the year since you’ve been there. Jin even contacts an estate sale company that sells all of your and Geumjae’s things.

Jin has spent most of his newly gotten free time doing exactly what he’s always done; taking care of his pups.

He’s got interviews with a therapist tomorrow for Hobi (this one has had a very cohesive background check done on him, Jin has learned his lesson). And there's a nail appointment on the books scheduled for Tae today, her hair appointment and facial 2 days from now. A doctor appointment for you and Jungkook the day after. A time slot for Hoseok’s car to get a tune-up later this week (after Jimin’s reckless driving it’s been running a little rough). And the final check-up with Jimin’s surgeon the day after.

You don't know how you'd keep everyone's appointment straight, but maybe that's why jin is the pack omega and you're not. Everything is where it should be. Jin rather enjoys it too.

Namjoon’s scrubs get steamed and hung up before he leaves for work every day, a lunch packed with cute heart-cut strawberries and carefully arranged rice and slices of chicken. Nesting materials warmed in the dryer before you and Jimin and Tae settle in for your mornings of undisturbed library time. Jungkook’s workout clothes color color-coordinated and his long hair brushed shiny and curly with a pat to his bum out the door.

Jin only realizes he might be going a little overboard when he starts a chart to monitor the pack's water consumption. You pressed along his spine trying to rub away your name on the little whiteboard. "If you make me drink that much water I'm gonna have to pee like all the time-"

"Careful," Yoongi had teased, voice rough and gravely from disuse. "You might make Jin want to keep track of that too."

Jin had hummed considering it genuinely, and you and Jimin had jumped up to drag him on to other things in the house before he got any ideas.

Jin spent the rest of this particular morning helping Tae do her hair. Jin’s pups need to look their best at all times. She curled the front, and Jin curled the back so that she didn't have to stretch her poor little arms. A kiss pressed to her knuckles and a "let Jinnie do it my pretty pup" sounded persuasive enough.  

Everyone is pup to Jin right now. In his element. Playacting as the perfect house omega.

Jin and Jimin do their assessment while you, Tae, and Yoongi are at the nail salon.

It's a Wednesday and a few days before he goes back to work from injury leave. Although Jimin enjoyed the first week of lounging with you and Tae in the library room watching her write her story (and get predictably nothing done with you and him there to tempt her) now Jimin has gotten too antsy to settle. Going to the gym with Jungkook yesterday helped a little.

It’s the last snow for the season and the big fluffy flakes hit the window with a faint clink. Jin and Jimin have a few hours of privacy to get this done; the psychopathy assessment that Jimin had asked after the other day, drunk and on the floor of the kitchen bellies full of your sweets.

Jin should probably manage the packs sugar intake too.

His pack omega instincts are settled in a way they aren’t usually now sitting here with Jimin in the spare bedroom (a room that will one day become the pack’s nursery and pup nesting room. But Jin doesn’t know that yet).

Jimin lounges on the window seat and stares up at the sky while he talks and answers Jin’s questions. Jin sits, legs crossed in a big blue velvet chair that you and Hobi found on one of your thrifting walks the other day.

You’ve been going on more of those- walks with Jungkook and Hobi around the neighborhood when the weather is nice. to see the flowers- the daffodils and snowdrops and magnolias starting to bud. You stumbled into an estate sale last week where you bought all sorts of things including the velvet chair and an old rug that yoongi had sighed over and then relented, dragging it off to the basment to work on restoring it.

Jin knows you're working up to attending classes at Jungkook’s gym (you have an open invitation from Wonho). Jin will never not be proud of you, that you seem to be at least trying to get healthier and be more active.

He lounges with a notepad and a few printouts in front of him. A copy of the DSM-five is under the chair just in case he needs to reference it. His silk dressings gown is yellow and green striped with blue and pink floral decals on the shoulders. A tad more eccentric than Jin usually goes because this silk robe used to belong to Tae before she switched to pink everything, folded over his striped pajamas and fuzzy slippers. Pink, also Tae's.

It’s easier for Jimin to do this if he doesn’t have to stare at Jin's face, dewy underneath the thick-rimmed glasses. Jin has had more time to devote to his grooming now that he’s unemployed.

Jin listens, and Jimin talks for what feels like hours. laid out in his most comfy sweats set, also cleaned and pressed by Jin earlier (do sweatpants even need to be ironed?) This one is rough in all the right places, worn familiar from years of wear. Jin doesn't even know where Jimin got it- he checked but the tag had already been cut out, probably years ago.

It's strange, how easy it is to ignore things until you connect the dots.

He sits up towards the end looking at Jin and fiddling with the new earrings in his ears. Teasing at the loose cool chain with the tips of his fingers like noodle bats at the tassels on the edge of the curtain in Tae's library room. It's an absentminded action- Jimin's body is too loud for his mind to think of should and shouldn’t’s.

You've warned him time and time again that if he plays with the fresh piercings too much, they might get infected. Namjoon has done his best to dot disinfectant whenever he gets home and, in the morning, too sometimes.

But Jimin always always fiddles. He can't help it. Small bits of paper, the ends of his hoodie that somehow always end up in his mouth. Tae's hands, the soft little ends of Tae's hair, Tae's jewelry, Tae’s everything. It’s weird to see Jimin talking if he’s not fiddling with something.

He’s nervous, so he fiddles. Jin has notes and a completed screening form in front of him. Looking at Jimin now with fresh eyes Jin doesn’t know how he never noticed. How he never put it together.

The psychopathy assessment below taunts Jin.

Failure to conform to social norms concerning lawful behaviors, such as performing acts that are grounds for arrest. Deceitfulness, repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for pleasure or personal profit. Lack of remorse, being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another person

"And did it bother you? When you killed those people?"

"Those bad people hyung," Jimin corrects, and Jin can't help his smile.

"Did it bother you when you killed the bad people, Minnie?"

Jimin fiddles, quiet, like he doesn’t want to admit it. "Only when it got messy."

"Why do you think the mess bothered you?" Jin’s asking half because he wants to know, and half because he’s genuinely curious.

Jimin’s hands rub up and down his knees and he shifts forward than backward. But his words come out even and measured. "Because it wasn't the way it was supposed to go- the way I organize it in my head, the same way you probably think through what clothes will make Namjoonie hyung blush the most. It didn't happen the way it should have."

Monsters aren't supposed to bleed.

"The only way I don't get overwhelmed by things is whey I make sure they happen they way they should."

"What does it feel like when you get overwhelmed minnie?"

"It's like- fear I think? My chest gets really tight, and everything gets extra extra loud. It makes my alpha like- riled. And I have to remind myself that I don't need to get angry about it."

They move on to other topics, different than Jimin’s apparent lack of remorse (it's not lack of remorse, but conditional remorse. Jimin only feels within the firm lines of what he believes he should feel) But they circle back to it because Jimin uses the words ‘bad people’ more than once.

"Why do you think that they needed to be bad to kill them? Why does if they were bad matter to you so much?"

"Because that’s the rule- bad people are supposed to die, aren’t they?" Jin cannot fault Jimin for that- because it is the rule. Generally. You do not Mourne monsters. You do not Mourne the villains.

"I'm not so sure about that, plenty of bad people never get punished."

"Like Moonbyul and me you mean?" Jin almost breaks the pen he's holding, almost.

"Do you believe that you're a bad person Minnie?"

Jimin bites his lips, looking down and away, not fidgeting at all. But his teeth work away at his lip. It takes a second for him to gather his words, a second to respond. Jimin has always been hard to read.

"I was hoping you would tell me. I can’t ask Tae. She wouldn’t be able to tell me the truth."

No, Jin always noticed. He just didn’t think of it beyond late-night musings wrapped in Namjoon’s arms. Gossiping about their pack because If there’s one thing that the pack omega and pack alpha like to talk about- it’s their 6 pups. They used to gossip about you the most that way- but Namjoon has been resistant to discuss you recently and Jin doesn't have to ask why.

He sees the conflict and love in his soulmate as easily as he sees the diagnosis written out on the paper right now. He'll check the DSM later for autism spectrum disorder but he won't find anything that varies from his notes.

Uses only limited facial expressions to communicate, frequently flicking switches or spinning objects, speaking in a repetitive way, narrow or intense interests, having trouble with changes to their schedule or changing from one activity to another, and hyper-reactivity to sensory input.

Sometimes talking about things too seriously does more damage. Jin keeps that particular diagnosis to himself.

Jimin looks at him imploringly, not reaching out to touch, because maybe Jimin is a little too overstimulated right now from bearing his heart to initiate contact. His eyes are bright and hopeful. They are not glassy and vacant. Jin has looked at countless pictures of psychopaths before- and none of them have eyes quite like Jimin's

They’ve been at it for 4 hours already, Jin has gotten up twice to pee when Jimin sits up without the intention of lying back down.

"So, what do you think hyung? Am I crazy? Am I a psychopath?"

I think you're a whole lot of things Minnie. Autistic for one with a hyper fixation on the people you love, Tae in particular.

Jin winces, looking Jimin up and down, and the alpha flushes but stays still under Jin’s evaluation. His sensory issues are painfully on display in an extra big sweatshirt, the ends of his sweatshirt pulled loose so that they're not tight around his wrists. His hips, baggy pants, and slides. Jimin’s toes flex, like he can’t help but push at the one item of clothing that constrains him.

He never has the same problem with the neat dark suits that his bodyguard job makes him wear. When Jimin knows what's expected of him- he doesn't have a problem following the rules or lying.

Bad people die. That's the rule, isn't it? Jin has a tallied kill count on the corner of the page, every time Jimin references a different murder over the last 5 hours, Jin has added a tally.

He's run out of room on the notepad.

Jin will bring it up to him later. Will tell him later, to be sure. Jimin asks after something much scarier, much more dangerous to his pack right now. Jin will do anything he needs to do to protect his pack- and that's part of the problem.

There are things that Jimin doesn’t need to know.

Jin covers that evaluation with his fingers. Only a few words are viewable between the narrow edges of his long fingers.

A peculiar lack of empathy, but not a lack of anxiety. An ability to distinguish between right and wrong but not an inherent understanding of those concepts. A tendency to lie. But is that really so scandalous? So damning? Is lying not a necessity and an instinct when the truth can do so much damage? Would Jin blame anyone for lying about these things?

“I do think that psychopaths don’t wonder if they’re psychopaths Jimin. Asking these questions of yourself isn’t a bad thing. If you were crazy, I’m not sure you’d care to be here.” And you’d be trying to convince me too.

Jin stands up and walks over to Jimin the one or two steps. Leaving his notepad behind to cup Jimin’s cheek, running his thumb along the alpha’s plush lips. Jimin’s eyes are wide and glassy, unable to tear themselves away from Jin. Jin’s omega wants to purr at the show of devotion, at the sight of Jimin below him almost on his knees. Jimin places a gentle palm on Jin’s thigh, Just to feel.

"I don't think you're crazy Jimin, I just think you're an alpha who will do anything for the people you love." Is it lying if he believes it to be the truth?

"And there's nothing wrong with that?" Jimin asks, Jimin’s hand fiddled with the tasseled end of Jin’s dressing gown with a delightful shiver of sensory pleasure.

Jin leans down and presses his lips to the alpha’s brow. Jimin almost sags against Jin’s front.

"There's nothing wrong with that at all. Come with Jinnie. It's well past time for lunch, and I won't be able to stand it if my pups are left unfed."

~-~

Jin spends his days gloriously unemployed putting the pack back together piece by treasured piece. But that’s not the only thing that needs his healing touch.

He spends most of his time helping Yoongi restore the house to its former glory. Switching out crown molding and cracked wall sconces. He rarely ever changes out of his matching pajamas and matching pink sweat sets even if they get speckled with dust and wood stain and eventually paint. He thoroughly enjoys sitting elbow to elbow with Yoongi and just- living. Just existing next to the beta without any thoughts or secrets between them.

They don’t talk much, sometimes Yoongi plays music, and sometimes he picks the paint splatters out of Jin’s hair, or the splinters out from his fingers oh so gently. Yoongi’s been quieter since everything went down- if that even seems possible. Less likely to joke, the smiles when Jin puts his paint-splattered hands-on Yoongi’s ass don’t last quite so long.

But unlike with Jimin, any words of wisdom and questions aren’t met receptively; Yoongi just walks away. And Jin knows he’s not ready to talk about it yet. Jin worries that your and his relationship is only part of the problem.

It’s a good thing Yoongi’s fairly organized and has kept all the paint buckets in the coat closet under the stairs. He teaches Jin how to fill the bullet holes in the banister with wood filler and sand it down. The muddy stain sits until they can hardly tell. After a few days of their hard work, it feels like the last few weeks are just a bad memory.

He spends his afternoons polishing away the bullet holes in the antique doorframes, re-spackling the parts of the wall you crashed into that got indented. Every little fleck of blood that leaves even the barest hint of a stain against the ceiling. The drywall cut out and replaced in certain spots. They spend it in companionable silence and Jin tells himself that staying by Yoongi’s side is enough.

Now that the pack knows that they’re not going to be discovered right away there is time to take care of the evidence beyond just bleach and cleaner. The cops haven’t come to their door even once. Not even a noise complaint from your days of revelry.

They're meticulous in the way that they check over every inch of the house. Jin goes over everything with luminol and a blacklight just to be sure. The bights of Yoongi’s eyes extra white as he watches. But no one is better at covering up a murder than them. (If they had a mind for it, they might have a handy side business. Jin jokes, but Yoongi just huffs and doesn't dignify it with a response.)

They dig up the body later.

They make sure everyone else is out of the house. Tae’s hair appointment serves several purposes beyond making sure the pack's prettiest alpha feels her best. Tae goes a little lighter- blonder, less red, and more chestnut. Long and brushing past her shoulders now. Perfect for the spring that hovers on the edge of every breath of warm air.

It won’t be long now. The daffodils are already coming up in places in the front yard. Yellow and bright and happy.

They put the man in a metal bucket, fraying clothes and all. Jimin and Jin mix up the chemicals wearing full hazmat suits. Lye bubbles and burns and leaves little left of the man other than some errant buttons that must have been on his pants and a twisted mess of a zipper.

Jin and Jimin toss them into the fireplace upstairs before anyone gets home, watching as they bubble and burn and disappear like a bad memory. The assassin and lye slurry gets poured down the drain, and carried out to the ocean to find rest- no longer haunting you. Yoongi mixes up more concrete and pours the hole and it’s like it never happened, like Tae and you never murdered that man.

When the pack gets home Jin has picked a few daffodils, put them on the kitchen table, and opened up all the windows. Tae twirls when Jimin asks to show him her hair. The way it falls in pretty ringlets.

"Beautiful"

“Fumigation” Jin will tell their neighbors when they ask about the smell. the subtly tangy chemicals that fill the culdisac. "You know our cat, the angry one, brought a whole punch of pests in. You might want to test your basement too."

Jin is the best liar in the pack for a reason.  

You come home laden with bags and just cuz gifts. You’d gotten your hair trimmed and Jungkook too- tight on the sides and long on the top. Jungkook’s bought new star-shaped pillows to go with the light blue couch and Namjoon brings home a pink moon one for you. A stuffed animal one with floppy feet and a tastefully neutral expression that you clutch to your chest during movie nights.

On nights like tonight, when it's so quiet that you need something soft to hold onto- least you remember other deceptively quiet nights.

The rain outside has lulled to a gentle pitter patter and the pack is likewise lulled to a similarly gentle sleep. Moving this way and that, settling like the bones of the house that creek with every harsh gust of wind. Asleep around you in heaps.

You nested earlier with Jin and Jungkook- fluffed every pillow and folded every blanket. It’s not quite as fluffy as your old couch but it is bigger, large enough to accommodate everyone lying this way and that. Jin purrs are sleep deep and soft. Almost pearly in the nighttime.

It's so quiet.

Your hair catches the highlights of the TV screen when it bursts bright and colorful. Hobi twirls a lock of your hair around his fingers while the movie drones on. Animated this time- because none of you have had the stomach for any movie that features too much violence. Nothing lifelike yet. You’ll stick to familiar fantasies in the meantime.

You're curled on your side and stretched out, your feet in Namjoon's lap. The top of your head so close to Hobi's thigh that you can feel the warmth of it along the top of your head. You're not touching him. But his warmth and safe alpha musk is close and thick. More satisfying to your nesting instincts than any blanket, to have your alpha nearby and alert.

Not that you're not welcome, Noodle occupied that spot until recently. Yawning and slinking off with a jingle of his bell collar once Hobi alternated from petting him to petting you.

He twirls a lock of your hair around his finger and watches the movie.

It’s a movie that you've seen before. It's familiar backtrack the perfect thing to fall asleep to here. The room is dark. The blue-red then pink light of the television flashes with scenes. Sounds too far away as your eyes get heavier and heavier. You're not the only one who's clearly feeling the effects of the nighttime or the smooth unaffected happy scents of your packmates.

Tae in particular smells rich and flowery, happy sprawled out between Jungkook and Jimin and Yoongi. Jimin’s hand sits under the hem of her white tank top, the translucent lace edge hides the movements of his fingers as he strokes up and over her hip lazily. Your mate's face is hidden in her hair, and Jungkook is belly down draped over their legs. Your mate's long fingers rest still against his spine. His shirt pulled up to the small of his back. His small huffs are infrequent and gentle. Like a puppy twitching in their sleep.

Namjoon's loud snore punctuates the quiet from the other side of the couch, his head tipped back against the cushions at an uncomfortable angle. Lost to the world like Jinnie tucked small into his side. His cheek fluffy and resting against the hollow of the pack alpha’s throat. Nose tucked to the safest place in existence.

Well, maybe the second safest. Hoseok’s lap is empty afterall.

You never would have said that Jin was skinny or waifish before, but after quitting his job it’s clear that the stress was affecting him. He looks healthier now. Less sallow-skinned and the space under his eyes is less hollow. Jungkook too has a pink glow to his cheeks- although that might just be where he’s rubbed it raw over Tae’s tight And Jimin’s side. He’s half asleep while he scents them. He mumbles and grumbles something like a purr before he goes quiet and still. 

Even Yoongi at the end of the couch, has his eyes closed, although you can tell they’re moving under his eyelids, his breath coming out with little huffs that tease the top of Jimin’s hair, sock feet stretched out. You close your eyes and open them, eyes drawn to yoongi at first sight. he's always the first person you look for when you open your eyes.

Only to see Noodle purring from his lap. Your and Hobi's company abandoned in favor of his new favorite person.

“Traitor,” you mumble. Hobi laughs quietly.

"We should take his treats until he comes back to us."

"Noodle? or Yoongi?"

"Both." you giggle and turn onto your side.

His fingernails itch down the back of your neck, not a scruff but close and you turn till you're belly down on the couch so that he has a better vantage point to play with your hair. Your eyes flutter, and when they open again Hobi is still staring at the screen. You're the only two awake and half his face is colored green from the movie.

When you look at the screen- Howl and Sophie are traipsing across flower-filled fields. colorful and bright.

"We should find a place like that, when spring really starts up in a few weeks."

Hoseok's eyes are dark and reflective when he looks down at you, huffing fondly, teasing, "are you asking me out on a date?"

"Maybe. You gonna say yes if I am?"

"Maybe." He teases, and you reach up to pinch his thigh, he takes your hand before you can and holds it, pinning it up there on his thigh. You tangle your hand with his pant leg and leave it there. He goes back to watching the movie and you go back to watching him. Quiet and peaceful in the silence of gentle nighttime

“It always bothered me” Hobi knows you’re watching him. Even without looking down. Yoongi's other hand rests on the back of his neck, you see his slack fingers twitch when he looks at you.

“What?”

“He didn’t use real flower types when he animated this- they sort of look like cow vetch- but they’re not.”

You snort, rubbing your eye, “only you would complain about the flowers in Howls Moving Castle.”

Hobi huffs, his fingers trailing over your forehead gently, smoothing out the crease between your eyebrows. Hand sliding to your shoulder under your arm.

"Come here, I don't bite." You go with little protest. You let him usher you up onto your knees, scooting across the couch until your head and most of your body is sitting in his lap. Laying your heavy body down. You tuck your legs to the side and someone else other than Namjoon snores but it doesn’t matter who. The eight of you tangled here.

"We should wake everyone up and go upstairs."

"Leave them for a minute. This is my favorite part."

He hesitates, looking down at you, then slowly, like his hand can feel the weight of the gesture, he draws your hair away from your face, the pads of his fingers brushing the corner where your ear becomes your jaw, his pulse by your ear visible in every little tremble. You breathe, and Hobi touches your neck, just mindless circles, eyes eventually drawn back to the TV.

“This place is gorgeous Howl! it’s like a dream.”

You swallow, and you suddenly feel more awake than you have in years, in months. It's frightening the sudden clarity at which you are aware of him- of everything. The softness of his faintly calloused hands, the feeling of his flannel pj's rough under your cheek. The smell of the peach-scented body wash he must have used in the shower earlier. Everything about him in frightening clarity.

You like the way he's touching you, over your cheek and down your throat. None of you doesn't like it. None of you is afraid of what Hoseok might do next. You're not even thinking about it. An alpha has his hands on your neck and you feel-

You feel perfectly at ease, perfectly happy, perfectly in love.

It's like you've been sleepwalking this whole time, or maybe that your soul has taken a vacation, forsaken your body for greener pastures, and then snapped back to this moment right now. Your belly feels full of almost there laughter. You're tired but you're not exhausted. Your shoulders don’t even ache. There isn’t a lump in your throat.

Your breath is so smooth and so easy when you exhale and inhale. You can breathe.

Hobi’s face flashes blue, then the brightest chartreuse. His hand finds the popcorn bowl, and part of it misses, hitting somewhere in your hair but you don’t care at all. You look up at him, watching. Chest going all tight again- your body is fighting it, whatever this feeling is. You're simultaneously more awake than you've ever been and suddenly- not sure if you're not sleeping.

His wrist is over your nose and you nuzzle into it as he reaches for another handful of popcorn, fighting back tears. even as one curl falls from his overful fist and hits your face.

He mindlessly picks the popcorn out of your hair, eating it anyway (at least Jungkook didn't put too much butter in it) He doesn't realize that something is very wrong yet (that something is very very right).

“Sorry.”

“S’fine”

Hobi goes back to watching the movie and you wait a few more minutes, a few more seconds fighting back tears, before you disturb the quiet again. 

"Hobi," Your voice is quiet and scratching. He doesn't hear you over the movie. Not at first.

Your heart is so thick in your throat and you stretch out. Your body is truly lax for what feels like the first time in ages. Not a bit of tension in your muscles. Your head doesn’t feel so heavy, and that vaguely sick feeling that’s always sort of in your stomach is gone. You breathe and it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t feel tight. It’s easy.

Namjoon mumbles near your feet. And Jimin lies Tae down more properly, disturbing Yoongi a little, Noodle hops off his lap and slinks off into the darkness, and everyone re-settles. Everything is slow and simple.

And safe.

Your hand goes vicelike on Hobi’s wrist and he looks down at you, inhaling sharply. There is no hatred in his face, though there hasn't been in months. There is nothing in his eyes besides the most blush pink love, a love that speaks of roses and bumblebees and butterflies- every other small flying thing that has nurtured the world to life. The panic is immediate. This is not a feeling that you are used to. This is not a feeling that you remember.

You don't remember the last time you felt safe.

"I feel- Hobi I feel safe. I feel so safe right now- Hobi- I can't-" 

You’re frantic with the knowledge of it, words rushed and a little panicked, you’ve forgotten this feeling, how complete and peaceful it is. Peaceful and yet panicked because this is not a feeling that you're used to.

The knowledge thrums through you, the relief choking you with its pretty purple vines. His hands go ridged in your hair, knotting a little before they smooth it out. Your scent- it's not unhappy, but it is pungent. Hobi curls his body over you, bowing to protect it from any unseen threat. He would protect you from anything that came through the front door. Anyone.

He smiles down at you gently, petting your throat, down the side of your body. Oh so gentle. "I know it's- it's good, right? It's okay. Right?"

"Yeah- it's okay, it’s-"

And it is okay. More than okay. It’s okay even when the tears form at the corner of your eyes and find their death in Hobi’s lips as he leans lower to kiss them away so softly you hardly feel it. He knows what this is. He’s happy to hold you through it, the first time your body has let go. Relinquished the tightness and control of being on edge. That little thing that makes prey animals prey animals. The part of you that has always been more animal than human, more fight and flight than fawn.

But you're safe now, all the hard things are over. all the hard things aren't heavy anymore because you're safe. Here in Hobi's lap, here in the house that Yoongi made for you all. You're safe.

It’s a feeling you can’t explain. Like why the snow smells clean and why the air smells like a memory sometimes. Safety is one of those intangible things, you know when it’s here and when it’s gone.

He only hopes that this time, it’s here to stay.

You feel safe in his arms, and you feel safe when minutes later Namjoon wakes from a particularly loud snore. You're asleep finally, but your name is the first on his lips.

Namjoon smacks his lips, scenting the distress on the air without opening his eyes. “Pups? What’s wrong?"

Hobi smiles at Joon, his half-asleep pack alpha brain running paces while his instincts have gone miles. "It's okay Joon, she's just happy, go back to sleep."

"Okay, love you," the pack alpha grumbles out. Curling back over Jin’s body with his, all but pinning the pack omega to the couch. Jin just purrs louder.

"Love you too Joonie." Hobi looks down at you, holding you in his lap, and thinks. Yeah, we're both gonna be safe, aren't we?

(When you wake in the morning, you’re back in the nest upstairs. You smell like Hobi and Yoongi and You don’t remember being carried there at all; you just remember the comfort.)

~-~

You do not spend the next week helping Yoongi and Jin fix the house. you spend the next week baking.

Luckily the kitchen escaped most of the damage in your gunfight. Everything is unharmed except for a small spot by the coffee station where a bullet lodged itself in the drywall and one spot in the blue tile backsplash that needs re-doing.

Yoongi waits for that last, hovering, watching you hum along to the music and scoop out things into little trays. Onto the baking pans, you do not catch him watching. But when a glass breaks, he's there waiting with a dustpan to sweep it up.

He doesn't manage to protect you against every hurt however. there are some things that you just can't anticipate.

You go through every recipe you’ve ever made, honey cakes and macarons that take several tries to get right. Pretty Raspberry Charlottes with meticulously arranged raspberries and ladyfingers. Chocolate cookies with crackly tops. Red bean buns and pineapple cakes.

You make everything in your cookbook once and then again. Tweaking the recipes and adjusting them to copy them over into a new recipie book that Hoseok gets you.

(It's not a courting present, it's not- he swears)

(It's totally a courting present)

The book has a thick pink cover, a snap-in binding so that you can take pages in and out at will. And a small pink tulip on the front cover that quickly gets stained with butter, lemon juice, and a tiny tiny bit of blood.

“You need to be more careful.” yoongi says, in his pj’s. hair all spiky from where jin gave it a fresh cut in the kitchen last night. Short enough that it makes his cheeks look all chubby. A band-aid in his hands. You’re pretty sure there’s still a little bit of his hair on the kitchen floor, but you’ve never been one to complain about that sort of thing so you let it slide. you let namjoon wrap your finger with the bandaid with a small whine.

"I was being careful- I just-"

“I was watching her hyung,” Jimin says, a little fluffy, a little ruffled. His headphones pulsing dully around his throat. You read between the lines with that and make no comment. I was watching her hyung, I know she didn’t do it on purpose.

You got him a pair of nice over-the-ear headphones last week and picked them out with Hobi’s help. They’re the kind that makes everything- even the most grating hum – ease away into silence. Your gift has helped a lot more than any of them anticipated when you’d first set out on your “let's figure out what makes Jimin have grumpy pup time” Adventure.

Some things had been easy, and routine. No microfiber, no oily foods. other things are less anticipated- his leg hair. A trigger he didn’t even know he had. Discovered after he watched Tae shave in the bathroom, the air all hot, the sudsy pool of water foaming pink as Tae filled it up and sat on the edge. Jimin's heavy eyes followed her as he asked why she does it, why you do it too.

"Wow It's like- really smooth."

"Can I try?"

"Are you sure you don't just want to feel?"

"I'm sure."

Tae had shaved him, oh so gently, gripping around the back of his knees. and Jimin hadn't realized, hadn't known what kind of effect it had on him until he was sitting in the nest in utter bliss a solid hour afterward. Rubbing his legs together like a cricket, absolutely lost to the sensation of skin on skin and no tugging.

"Can you do it tomorrow? Please? I wanna feel like this every day," a relaxed laugh warping his words. "Wow leg hair like totally sucks- I didn't know I didn't- I didn't know at all, I didn't realize-"

There are so many things you don't realize that hurt. You and Tae hand cuddled up close to him, rubbing up and down his thighs to feel how soft Minnie's skin actually was. Gentle. Your touches ease away his distress.

"Sorry Minnie, it won’t feel the same, you have to wait a few days for it to grow out."

So no leg hair, no sellophane. Absolutely no tags on clothing. Headphones when things get too loud. Jimin goes quiet and soft and gentle with the headphones. He tries not to wear them all the time, but when the house goes particularly loud in the afternoons after he's come home from work- it's become his new favorite thing. To sit in Tae's library room with her and enjoy a few moments of companionable quiet.

It's good, it makes you happy that Jimin is leaning a bit more into the sensory stuff than usual since his tentative diagnosis from Jin. The rest of the pack had completely accepted it, almost without a second thought. A few careful nuzzles and a few reassuring kisses.

Jungkook had immediately set out to make a list of Jimin’s safe foods. “I don’t know if I even have any- I don’t know if it’s like an autism sensory thing Jinnie just said that I’ve got something.” But the secretive looks Jin had sent the rest of you had been proof enough. You all believe the pack omega’s words like they’re gospel. And really- when it just comes to loving the people you love and listening to them to love them better that's an easy concession to make.

And it's also a little fucking cute when Jimin leans into the sensory stuff. Yoongi ruffles his hair now where the headphones sat Making the hair that it pressed down poof up again.

“It’s okay Minnie, accidents happen.”

Everyone’s been sensitive to Minnie recently. So careful and intentional with the way that they love him. So much so that they’re letting other things slip through the cracks.

It’s not a big deal. It’s really not- you’d gotten used to a certain level of contact from them over the past few months and while you never audibly complain about it and you’d never admit it. One fact remains; unavoidable and inescapable, haunting you in your simple moments.

You’re fucking needy.

You can only take so much- so many times of Jungkook coming home with the front of his shirt sweat-damp from a run, pulling up and showing off his abs too cool off. Of Namjoon when he changes into pajamas, tiny little shorts that show off all his thighs straining and pulling. Jimin when he’s stretched out, fiddling with the hem of his shirt, all growly and close to Tae whose skirt is pulling high.

Your mate washing his hands in the sink definitely shouldn’t leave you with your mouth dry, slinking off to the upstairs bathroom to clean up just so that no one scents it on you.

It’s embarrassing. You feel like a freshly presented pup.

No one has…sought you out since your little mishap. No one has let their hungry touches linger and go hungrier. No one has given you exactly what you know you need since Hobi- before Moonbyul. Almost 3 weeks ago now.

But to put pressure on them now, when it’s clear that maybe- you need to tread lightly when you already have so much to apologize for. It Feels like too much too soon. You’re not a monster- you can control yourself.

In the meantime, you bake your heart away. Needing something to get your mind off them. The whole house is littered with powdered sugar and sawdust, dusted with frosting and wood filler. There isn’t a single shelf left in the fridge that isn’t covered with cakes or sticky custard tarts, or personal cheesecakes topped pretty with heart-cut strawberries.

The only one Jimin had said was slightly grating to him was the super sticky raspberry tarts. So Tae feeds them to him with a giggle, then Yoongi leans in close, demanding the same treatment, his lips gently swallowing tae's long fingers whole.

You shiver and watch.

"It's so sticky," Yoongi licks forward, lapping at tae's fingers, "but sweet!"

You can't stop your hungry look as you watch Tae lick the whipped cream off the top of a tart, her tongue darting out to lick over her lips. feeding tae a bit of whipped cream. some of it gets on his face and jimin smacks his pulsh lips, glossy.

You feel like you want to smack your face into the table. You actually do grip it hard. You wonder if it's normal, to want so much. To want things so hard. your cheeks feel so hot you might be able to back cookies off them.

Breath crusts your ear, lips just barely brushing your skin "these are really yummy."

You jump, Hobi's next to you and he grins, his fingers traitorously resting on the edge of the counter and you know he knows exactly what you were just thinking. What you were just wanting. You blush hot and needy, embarrassed at being caught staring at them. Busying yourself with pulling the remaining tarts off the drying rack and packing them away with parchment paper.

Tae's cheeks are speckled with powdered sugar. And she giggles- completely unaware of your obvious wanting. You nibble just a little at your own pastry. Appetite is suspiciously silent.

Jimin’s definitely not absorbing your conversation either, too busy watching Tae just like you were. Yoongi slinks off with a quiet thank you- intent on completing whatever project he's currently working on.

Jimin's eyes flick up and down Tae's face. Honed in, unable to look away. "The eye glitter-"

"Eyeshadow Minnie," Tae corrects, a little meanly, a little know-it-all in her tone. The same exact what she gets when she takes her knot and tells you exactly how to-

You need to get a grip. You forcefully turn away from the two of them and flip through your new recipe book. Searching for something sweeter, something else you can make other than fixate on this.

You clench your thighs together and watch Jimin cup Tae’s cheeks, her neck, hands skimming down her waist hungrily.

Jimin lets out a little pent-up breath, "It's like- super mesmerizing today- can you show me which one-"

Tae pulls him up from the table with a sweet giggle, leading him into the other room- Jimin looks a little dazed, stumbling on the carpet as he goes. Hoseok laughs and plucks another cookie from the tray before he helps you put them back inside, shaking his head.

These have powdered sugar on them too, you watch Hobi lick the white from his fingers. Hobi has nice hands, nobly in all the right places. You let out a breath and he licks them again, raising an eyebrow at you.

"Are you like okay or-"

"I'm fine." You whine, a little petulently. Setting down the container a little hard. Hobi laughs, and you wish it didn't make your knees a little weak. You need to get it together. You set the back of your hand against your flaming cheeks.

The fact of the matter is that You've gotten used to a certain amount of attention from the pack. Your body mostly, has gotten used to the near constant attention. Since everything happened, people have been- warming up to it slowly. Baking is also a good way for you to mediated away your sexual frustrations, bury them deep below layers of dough and batter and sparkly sugar.

Hobi's hand scratches under the hem of his shirt and you let out a heavy breath. He looks over at you and his nostrils flare.

"So, ugh- what's next- what are you baking next?"

"I wanna try to make this recipe I saw on Ticktok but I'm out of powdered sugar so-"

"You want me to drive you?" Your eyes flicker up. And you perk up at the idea of getting out of the house right now.

"Yes," you say, is your voice shaky? Are you the only one who notices the way that Hoseok's hand curls over his keys? or the way that you move restlessly? Pent up.

You leave, you tell others, but you find it hard to look away from Hoseok long enough to send a text to the group chat The same way that it was hard for Jimin to look away from Tae.

You make it to the store without any sort of comment from him, anything beyond his hand and your hand intertwined over the center console. Although you do see Hobi's mouth quirk as you stare and stare and stare.

There is something unfairly attractive about the way that Hoseok drives; one hand on the back of your headrest to back in the car. Something that makes you feel like you're melting when he follows you around the store. Taking one step for every two of yours, slow and leisurely, lingering close behind you protectively as you debate milk chocolate and semi-sweet. Reaching over you to get the sugar from the top shelf. His bicep brushing the top of your head.

Your jeans have rips in them, a courting gift from Tae who claimed they were cute (the pockets on the back are heart-shaped) His index and middle finger stay tucked into the back pocket of them, tugging you back close when you almost step in front of someone's cart, his thumb resting on the hollow of your back. Rubbing.

But when he gets into the car he pauses, "do you want to-"

"The beach?"

He swallows hard, "yeah- just for a bit?"

You drive, and instead of returning your hands to the center console Hobi’s hand creeps, settling on your knee. Hobi hooks his finger into the biggest rip in your jeans, one on your upper thigh, stroking the skin higher and higher. You go still, look down, and watch his hands rub smooth circles on your inner thigh.

Hoseok has very pretty hands.

A heat creeps up the back of your neck as Hobi keeps his eyes on the road and not on you. You try not to squirm, not to close your legs either. Although you know he'll be able to smell and feel your slick if he keeps it up for too long. You know your scent is swelling treacherously sweet, but you hope he won't comment- won't notice.

But when he pulls into the parking lot and the ocean is right there, turning dark green and a little violent at high tide. The air is stormy but sweet through the cracked windows. He turns to you, already smirking. The quirk of his lips teases and you realize he knows exactly what he's been doing to you this whole time.

You're already shoving his hand off of you, and he laughs at your flaming cheeks. "Oh my god shut up-"

"I didn't say anything."

"Oh, you little shit-" Hoseok grins.

"You're cute when you're flustered from being teased."

"Call me cute one more fucking-"

"Cute."

You put your head between your knees and actually scream. It's soft, not all that loud. Hoseok's laugh is louder as he throws his head back. And you regret ever making the mistake of falling in love with your best friend.

"Oh my god you are totally getting horny because of a car-"

"It's not the fucking car-" you whine, almost petulant.

"Oh, so it's me then?" The way Hoseok raises his eyebrow at you makes you want to scream. The smirk that has your omegan instincts rankled back on his stupidly pretty face.

"And if it is?"

Hoseok grins, reaching over to cup your cheek in his hand. Pinching the sides so that your lips push out. Holding you hard so that you can't squirm away.

"Then c'm here."

There are other things that you both crave beyond sugar and sweets. kisses that turn into giggles. Hoseok's lips move, good and gentle for a second. Exactly what you need, what you've been craving. His kisses offer a little relief.

And then he bites your lower lip.

It smells like gasoline and sea salt and blood when you pull it apart. rubbing at your stinging lip, a little angry. You're not bleeding, but it feels like you could be. A Hoseok-shaped space over your heart, wrenched clean, bleeding because where he sits is so far. If the distance and wanting could make you bleed- you would be.

(Hoseok bit you to keep you close because, for a second, it felt like you were about to pull back. His alpha didn't like that.)

You bristle an omega that needs settling. Hoseok almost wants to bare his teeth at how on edge it makes him. You smell so needy. Sticky sweet the way that Jungkook does sometimes. Hoseok's half surprised that the other omega didn't get to you before he did. Usually, Jungkook is the kinda of packmate who notices these things.

You flush hot. Half anger, half wanting. "Bitch-"

Hoseok reaches down between his legs for the lever under the seat to push it back. He pushes his seat away from the steering wheel and makes room for you. He parts his legs wide and gestures to his lap.

"I said come here."

The beach is empty and so is your part of the parking lot. It's getting late, past sunset and into twilight. The butter in the back seat of the car gathers condensation and starts to thaw but you don't even think about it a little bit.

You don't think about the people who might be nearby, the people who Could clearly see what you're doing in the car as you clamber over the center console. You leave your shoes behind in the passenger seat (you already have a habit of taking them off in the car). Bruising knees as you move over to the driver’s seat planting hungry kisses along Hobi's cheek, his jaw, every inch of his skin that you can reach, and then his lips finally. So shaky with wanting that you're clumsy. gripping the front of his shirt.

You can feel his grin against every kiss. You can feel it when he starts to grimace and you pull back. Hobi winces covering your banged knee with his big palm. You'll definitely have a bruise tomorrow.

You just take his hand and put it on your hip higher, and he raises an eyebrow at your brazenness. "Wow, you really want it huh?" He taunts, and you melt against his front past the point of pretending that you're not fucking needy, that you don't need him and need this right now if he's willing to give it.

"Hobi please-"

He just laughs at you, "though you were gonna spontaneously combust watching Yoongi eat that tart- it was fucking hilarious."

You whine high and needy. But he likes to tease, and you like he when he teases. Is this what having sex with your best friend is like? All jokes and jabs and fun. It feels nice when you can feel Hobi's laugh this way. Pressed against your stomach when you shimmy closer. It’s a bit cold, but he's warm and big against your front sitting in his lap like that. 

You lean back, and hit directly into the steering wheel and horn. You bury your blush in Hobi's chest as he laughs and laughs, and Hobi's hands fist on your hips, pulling you closer, then farther apart, then closer again.

"Hobi what if someone heard."

"They didn't- there's like no one here- fuck-" You feel his lips with every beat of your heart, kissing so hard it tastes like bruising.

He holds you around your waist and guides you into a subtle sloppy grind, he's only wearing his sweatpants, no boxers underneathand it's clear he's not as unaffected as he claims. The hardness tents in the gray frabric. Pushed up against you. His cock is already hard and firm and twitching.

The front seat of the Lambo is not as spacious as you'd like, but you don't care enough to move to the backseat. Already shaking from just a few kisses. You let out a small whine as he guides you to grind harder against his front, controlling your rhythm with two hands on your ass. You can tell you're getting sloppy, leaking slick. You feel hot all over, simmering as Hobi looks up at you and grins.

"You're like totally gonna cum from this-"

"Oh my god shut up-"

He leans in to bite the tip of your nose, "Make me."

A nearby gull caws loudly, dissonant with the darkness, it’s just a hair past twilight, and the streetlights cast his face in yellow and blue chiaroscuro. It's not private at all but it's perfect and as easy as breathing. Your hips, his hips, and not an inch of space between.

You curse Tae who finally convinced you to buy jeans again as Hobi helps you pull them off, jostling you, hitting your head on the top of the car with a muted "ow!"

Hobi kisses the top of your head holding it reverently while he giggles, and it feels like you're a pair of teenagers again. It feels like for all intents and purposes the last month hasn't happened- like you're right back to where you left off. None of this is heavy, none of it hurts.

The kisses don't stop. Migrating from your mouth down under your jaw, the hollow of your throat. You've soaked through the front of your panties, and Hobi pulls back to look down. Touching the little damp patch you've left against the front of his sweats humming thoughtfully. Breathing a little heavy. Hair all pulled at and messy from where you ran your fingers through it.

The quirk of his mouth is mischievous, "wanna rile the others up?"

You scoot back a bit, grinning, loving Hoseok is like a super special inside joke. "Just don't get my face."

Hobi snaps a picture of your thighs on either side of his, your pussy, barely clothed in semi-translucent fabric all dark blue. His cock wet and hard straining up against the grey sweats. He sends it and then throws it to the passenger seat to jerk you closer.

Hoseok’s phone starts vibrating almost immediately but texts go unanswered, every call goes unanswered in favor of shimmying his sweatpants down and letting his cock pop up, a pearly bit of precum already wetting the tip.

You still, and he guides his cock up at the same moment he settles you down, hand cupping your hip to guide you, pulling your soaking underwear to the side in his haste. His teeth grit and he sighs, you're so warm, so hot inside.

"There you go, is that better?"

"Fuck," you murmur, sinking down slowly, giving yourself time to adjust before your riding goes, still syrupy slow. “So much better.” You don’t want to thank him for something like this but you do anyway.

It’s unhurried as he pulls you closer and closer. You don't know why Hobi likes to fuck like this, so close and slow. Barely pulling back to fuck his cock in, he just keeps you close and lets you grind wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you as close as he can get you. The car starts to rock, squeaking, and the sounds of sex greet you as Hoseok fucks up into your wet hole. All sloppy and wet sounding, coupled with the smacks of your kisses.

“So fucking wet all the time, so fucking messy,” he growls out, and you whimper, pressing your face into his neck and gripping his arms helplessly.

“Can’t help it- can’t-”

He rises up, hands bunching in your short-cropped zip-up sweatshirt, to pick up up and down, up and off of his cock. Hoseok usually isn’t so physically strong, but he helps you ride him, making it faster and filthier. The fabric slides off your shoulders with the hastiness of your grinding, and the white tank top with the thin straps fall down to your elbow. He bites with his teeth when you clench around him, listening to the thud thud thud of your heart and counting every breath.

You get sweaty and sticky until the back seat of the car and all the windows fog up. Hobi kisses endlessly up and down your throat as his hands hold you loose and gentle and then tighter as he continues to force you up and down at a maddening pace.

Even with you on top, Hoseok is still an alpha, still needs to be in control. You can't move even a little bit without him controlling where you go. He pulls you back down into his lap and then pulls you tighter, forcing his cock deeper. You feel like you can feel Hobi all the way in your throat, letting out a weak sob.

"There we fucking go-"

"Fuck Hobi! I'm- please- I need-"

"You can- just-"

At the last moment, Hoseok's hand settles not on your side, but on your stomach, pressing down. you paw at his wrist helplessly.

"Don't! if you do that i'm gonna-"

But it's already too late, You cum, so worked up that it doesn’t take much, You'd like to think that you only squirt because he's making the fit extra tight with his hands, or because it's been a long time since you've cum at all. But you blush furiously as your cunt continues to spasm and drip.

Your Hand on the door keeps yourself up a little, almost forcing Hobi's cock out of you with how hard you clench down and drip slick onto his lap. Letting out a loud moan that someone could certainly hear if they were standing just outside the car.

Hoseok just fucking giggles.

You teeter, cumming so hard you're dizzy, Head lolling to the side until he guides you to rest against his shoulder. "I've got you, I'm sorry- that was mean," he drags his teeth down your scent gland and you tremble.

Hobi pulls back to look at the wet splatter. The front of his white shirt is translucent. He touches where it clings to his abs. Flexing and twitching. And then he looks up at you. As you shakily come down, keeping your pussy up, the head of his cock is still inside but not much else.

He pulls you back down, hard, and you yelp. hoseok has something in his eyes that's just as hungry as you were, something that you wouldn't be able to explain. You cumming doesn't make him quiet, it only makes him hungrier.

He guides you to bounce, up and down, at a faster pace, chasing his own orgasm now. "So, fucking needy, that's what you needed right?" He growls and you nod. Helpless. He forces you down on his slowly inflating knot a little, hard enough for you to feel it.

Your socked toes curl where you're kneeling, and he strokes up one of them. You jerk, ticklish, whimpering, body humming and oversensitive (is this how Jimin feels all the time?) His hand slides up your knee to grip you harder, and you squirm on his cock. 

You rest your cheek on his shoulder, looking up at him. A little cock drunk, a little fucked out. "Like it when you call me needy, like it-" he kisses your slack mouth, bitten, pinker. "Cause it means you know I need you and you don't mind." you babble, and Hoseok just grins.

"Could never mind," His kisses interrupt his words. Like he can't be bothered to remove his lips from your skin long enough to speak. "need you too."

Hobi cums and his cock twitches. The smell of gasoline and burning tires on your skin. His knot inflates so quick and hard that you jerk, with little control of your body, curled to his chest- there’s little place for you to go. Shivering and twitching as his cum spurts, hot and wet filling you up with a sigh.

Which is how your face ends up hitting right up into his nose.

Hoseok has had more violent comedowns as he clutches his nose throbbing, wet and slimy blood. “What the actual fuck” you’re murmuring out sorry after sorry, still knotted together unable to move from his lap more than scrabbling at the passenger seat for some tissues, panicking until he starts to laugh.

And he's not angry no- he just laughs and wipes away the blood from his lips. “Not broken, don’t worry fuck-” it's payment for the teasing from earlier- karmatic because you don't like your alphas bloody. you hold the napkin to hoseok's nose and try not to move, his cock still occasionally twitching with a fresh spurt of cum. The nosebleed is over in a second.

It feels strange to laugh over something like blood, especially after the last few weeks you've had. But for once- it doesn't trigger either of you. He holds you close and gets blood on your sweatshirt probably but the car is full of the sound of laughter whereas 3 a minute ago it was full of the sloppy sounds of car sex and moaning.

“M’sorry”

His hands go up and down your waist, hungry, your slick is cooling and the sweat on the back of his neck is turning balmy. “It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean too.”

You try to pull back and squirm away from the way he’s holding you, but he holds you firmly against him. “Knots gotta go down soon, just stay like this a while.”

You settle, and he scents the top of your head, it’s useless, anyone will be able to tell what you’ve been doing after this, you can feel his cock twitch wet as he cums again a little more, and your pussy clamps down, milking his knot for all it’s worth. You sigh at the feeling.

Compared to your other packmates Hoseok is such a comfortable fit. Whereas when Namjoon knots you you can hardly move, Hoseok's knot is almost comforting. Soothing. The ache in you that wants to be filled truly quiet. (If you got a tape out and measured, you'd see that Hoseok's knot thickness is only a little wider than Namjoon's fully hard)

Alpha musk sweetens the air in satisfaction, but also challenge, the way that Hoseok smells when he and Jimin wrestle and he gains the upper hand- however briefly. Definitely not the way that the alphas usually smell after popping a knot.

You recognize the cross look on his face and aim to kiss it off of him. planting the type of kiss that almost always makes Hobi smile at the corner of his lips.

You pause for a second, for dramatic effect, but it still doesn't make him stop his pouting. “Okay- now you’ve got to tell me what's wrong you’re still literally inside me and you’re not smiling-” you laugh against his throat, pull back worried, “not that you have to be happy fuck- I didn’t mean-”

Your words jog him out of his thoughts and shimmies forward, Hoseok pecks your nose, your lips, still warm from your sighs and moans that he got out of you. His shifting causes his cock and knot to rub up and more fully inside you just slightly, forcing a tiny bit of cum to slip out, cooling and sticky.

But oh well- the inside of the lambo has seen worse messes in recent weeks. You sigh at the movement and rest your face against the hollow of Hobi’s throat, pouting petulantly as he continues the small juts of his hips, content to rip another orgasm out of you (although the front of his white shirt is already soaked translucent with it). He's competitive like that.

You grab his arms to try and slow him, already a little overstimulated and unable to feel your thighs, but Hoseok just grabs your waist and lifts you up, however briefly- to seat you more firmly on his knot, "Hobi fuck-"

There's an itch under his skin that just won't quiet down. Won't settle. You can see that now, his instincts are on edge, gnashing their teeth.

You tilt your throat, offering it up, bearing it to him.

Hoseok watches the action, eyes flinty. Sounding too serious. "How many times does Yoongi usually make you cum?"

Your eyes flutter, and he settles you back against his chest, his heart thuds quick against your ear, "like two or three times usually." Hoseok's knot deflated enough to pull out and he does it slowly, mindful of how sore you must be.

Hoseok goes slowly, but he’s still cum enough that you can’t clench closed enough to keep his cum in, you try and stop it but Hoseok catches your wrist so that you drip out, down, hitting the leather seat. He can’t stop watching you clench, hole pink and fucked, clit twitching because of him. Rubbing smooth circles on your thighs transfixed for a second but then reaching for his phone because.

“Fuck- Namjoon’s gonna go crazy.”

You cover your flaming face with your hands but you let Hoseok send another picture. This time of your wet and messy entrance, pink clit, a bit of his cum in the picture, dripped milky around the leather seat it's- fuck It's utterly pornographic. Might just as well send Namjoon into a rut with how fucking provocative it is.

Hoseok takes another, pressing the head of his cock to your hole, not inside, but just close enough that it's like they're kissing. Hot and wet and dripping with your slick and his cum. pooling a little on the head of his cock.

Hoseok sends it, and immediately gets another call from Namjoon. Hoseok sends it to voicemail only to grin at the amount that the pack alpha has already left.

“Guess how many voicemails he left?” You’re still shaking, still trembling from how hard you came, but Hoseok is so unaffected, all languid and satisfied.

“I don’t know, four?”

Hoseok laughs, husky, and pecks your shoulder. “Fucking seven” he clicks one and you laugh out loud for the scrabbling in the background alone.

“Jimin you are not going to drive to them- calm the fuck down.” Jin's says, sounding angry, in the background but Namjoon’s is deep. More of a growl. “Pups, come home right now, preferably before you end up knotted to each other in public,”

he snickers, "Too late."

You shimmy forward. Unwilling to separate from Hobi even though you're not knotted together anymore. You wouldn't mind just staying like this, cuddled up against his chest. But Hoseok knows what you want, what you need. He pulled out a little too soon (not for the knot, with that he was very very gentle) but because of your instincts. You still need him close.

He sinks inside of you with a sigh and you sniffle, “Keep it nice and warm yeah?” He teases, and you swat at his arm but let him. The drag is hot and filthy and slow.

You think that’s all he’ll do until He reaches down between the two of you to put his thumb and pointer finger around your clit. You jerk, scrambling to grip onto his wrist as he tugs.

“I thought you said Yoongi made you cum 2 or 3 times."

"Yes but- I'm sensitive."

"I like that you're sensitive, for the record, even though I'm probably going to tease you about this later." His voice is so husky, so deep and alpha that you melt and let him do what he wants.

You gasp and he plays with your clit, actually plays with it, rubbing it this way and that. Parting your lips to watch it tremble as you try and clench. His cock twitches where it fills you, starting to rock up and into you just a bit.

“That’s all you wanted right, just someone to touch you right here" He teases, eyes dark, breathing through his teeth as you clench. You tremble from overstimulation but nod dumbly.

Hoseok rubs the tight v of his fingers up and down, popping your clit up and down, such small movements that drive you crazy. You can’t clench any harder around his knot ( starting to fill out again, starting to pulse thick and hot) but Hoseok groans as you try to hold onto him, fingers going faster, sloppier.

You lean back, putting your hands on his knees, letting him see all of you, the damp hem of your shirt where you made it messy. Your pink cunt all for his viewing pleasure as you pop yourself up and down his length.

"Can't-" You're dumb, actually unable to speak as Hoseok starts fucking you again in earnest. The drag so much wetter with his cum already filling you up, squishing out around his cock again.

“Can’t come again?” He raises an eyebrow. “What? You’ll come 3 times for Yoongi but you won’t for me?”

“That’s not- it’s not-“ You can’t think with the way he keeps rubbing, tiny little movements as he continues to tug and rub, the small movements maddening. “Alpha!” you cry as he tugs again, cumming so hard and Hoseok’s fingers- tug again, milking a bit of squirt from you. Just a bit.

You clench so hard it forces his knot out, cum and slick dripping everywhere. Darkening his sweatpants with a dark laugh.

He doesn't leave you unfilled for long, guiding his cock back and forcing it to pop back in. The car rocks and you sob. And yeah- this is exactly what you needed. Your brain shuts off for a bit. You needed someone to fuck and knot the thought out of you gently, but not so gently as to let your mind wander.

You can tell hobi's close by the tone of his voice, how close to a growl it is. “Gonna make you milk my knot, gonna make you cum until Yoongi will have to compete with me. Until I’m the one who-“ Hoseok cuts himself off as his knot pops for the second time.  

His knot feels hotter the second time around, thicker too- maybe it’s just because you feel so tight and full of his cum.

It’s calm for a second, calm. The sound of the crashing waves, his breath as he breathes in deep. You don't know how long you stay like that, so close to each other that you can hardly breathe. His knot still hasn’t gone down. His breath and your breath, you kiss his temple his cheek. And when you pull back to look at him, his face has that same look to it. You don’t even have to ask him, he already knows that you're going to ask what he meant by the last bit.

“It’s nothing.” but you wait because you know it’s not and that he's just working up to it.

You kiss at his temple. (How lovely is it- that your favorite place to be kissed should be called the same name as a house of worship?) Hoseok kisses you back just as reverently.

Earlier when he was thinking about something, he got that competitive look on his face, and he wears that same look now. “It’s just, earlier I was thinking about it.”

“When you were frowning the first time?”

“No. At the house.” Hoseok is silent for another second, rubbing a soothing hand down your spine. And you realize you’re not afraid of anything he might say, not even a little bit, not even at all.

“You said, with Tae- that you wanted to marry her.”

Hoseok closes his eyes, just briefly. His eyelashes catch the light from the streetlamps. “I've never thought about getting married, not at all, and I'm not asking that's not- I'm not-" Hoseok sighs, frustrated. He's fine with dirty talk and teasing but this- this is so much harder to say.

"I was just looking at you and wondering...wondering why you chose her out of the whole pack and not someone else"

Why not me?

You and Hobi have agreed that saying the scary things is the way you get through it. Love will do you no good if you can’t do it scared.

You pull back and the look on your face makes Hobi blush, it’s so open and honest, like a hint of humor chased with all the love in the world. Hoseok pulls you tighter, more firmly against him in the front seat of the Lamborghini.

You’ve only been officially official for the last few weeks. But already Hobi can’t think of his life without you, can’t think of any world where you don’t mean just as much to him as the others do. If mating marks could go 8 ways it would be an easy choice, but they don’t work that way.

He’s never even called you his girlfriend for Christ’s sake. And he’s already talking about mating marks and marriage. and feeling hurt when you offer those shows of devotion to other people and not him. Jealousy in packs shouldn't exist, but it sort of does sometimes.   You nudge his nose with yours. A small little nuzzle. “You and I are more matching tattoo people, aren’t we? I thought you’d want more than just a ring.”

A laugh jumps out of Hoseok’s chest like lightning, surprising him with how little he expects it, “Really? Fuck- you’d get matching tattoos with me?”

You lift his palm up to your throat, the blank side and then the one marred by Yoongi’s mating bite. “I’ve already got one mark on me that I can’t erase, gotta give you the same treatment.”

He’s a little speechless, eyes glittering with stars (they’re just from the streetlights but still) you keep it going. “If you could bite me? Where would you put it?”

Hoseok sits up straight, dragging his kiss down the side of your throat, “here maybe?” the tops of your breasts, “or here maybe,” next to your heart, Hoseok brings his hand to his face, kissing the center of it. “Probably here.”

You cover his hand with yours and then grip his shoulder, thumb rubbing up and down his pectoral, your foreheads resting against each other.

“If you ever need, if you ever want- like today- you can just ask me.”

“You sure? It wouldn’t be like- too much?” you don’t say her name, you don’t say that it would be like before. But Hoseok closes his eyes, he knows you won’t ever do anything like that. He doesn’t honestly think you’d be capable of that…the guilt and the forcing.

Hoseok isn’t worried about it in the slightest. He knows if he ever felt even a bit like that, he could tell you and you’d stop without a second thought. Whatever you need.  (If that doesn’t count as marriage, I’m not sure what god is looking for.)

“I’m sure. I like this, it’s nice.” It’s nice when it’s just the two of us, you’re my best friend.

You’re coming down, still resting against his chest. Hoseok’s knot will have deflated enough for him to pull out without pain in a few moments, a few breaths as you exchange sleepy soft kisses. Nowhere to go and nowhere to be. The panic has worn out of you. The frantic desire simmering low and sated in your veins. The fire turned down low. The fear was non-existent.

Until a loud screech punctuates the quiet.

It’s pretty immediate how everything falls apart. One moment you and Hobi are curled up against each other. And the next second you look over his shoulder and see the red and blue flashing lights. You have seconds, maybe a breath before the sirens blare and those lights flash brighter. A foreign voice coming over the loudspeaker shattering the quiet. “Stay where you are!”

“Shit! Hobi!” Hoseok jerks, you are still knotted together but he pulls you off of him with little care for your comfort. You don’t blame him too panicked as you slide to the passenger seat and he tucks his cock back into his sweats. Reaching for your jeans a second too late.

“Crap- pull up your pants- oh fucking hell-“

Both of you turn syrupy slow when the police officer taps on his window. Shining his light inside of the foggy car.

~-~

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Notes:

yoongi gets fewer parts in this chapter because he's going to get a dedicated moment in the next chapter!!!

to be honest- i'm not really totally sure that jimin in bily has autisim or not- if he does have autism slightly or not, he does have the same sort of sensory issues that i do, i guess i can't answer the question for jimin because i can't answer it for myself yet.

jimin like me- realizes that the sensory stuff really affects him- i think he's never been allowed to realize how things make him feel. he's never been that sure of his emotions and his feelings.

if leg hair has one hater it's me, if leg hair has no haters then i am dead.

i wrote this chapter with the understanding that if jimin does have some form of psychopathy- then jin certainly does have it too- like out of all of them i think that the dynamic that fits them best is "jimin is crazy and knows it, jin is crazy and doesn't know it."

Song inspiration is just Rm's- Around the world in a day. i know we only have one song but!!! what a break of charecter!!

was i inspired by namjoons "she a pro-rida, Oo Oo Oo Oo rida~" for this chapter? yes i was. and what about it??

hoseok and the m/c are such a mess i swear to god i love them so much like- they're just so cute in their little car sex scene.

[neoyi]

Neo Yi's Super Fun Webcomic Reading List Time!

I wanna do it. I wanna be the guy! I wanna recommend and impart my personal views on the webcomics I've read over the better part of the year. I feel like I've read more online comics since 2023 then I had in over a decade. It is an excellent time to get into comics.

Not every webcomic on the list worked for me, but I'm not going to comment negativity on any of them because all of them deserve to be read and appreciated. No, what I am going to do, regardless of how I feel about ANY of these comics, is to state some things I liked about it. Hopefully something will catch your eyes.

Links to each webcomic will be provided, though Tumblr hates annnnnything with actual links, so I'm just going to copy and paste them in an attempt to reach a broader audience and get these out into the greater wild. It ain't much, but I hope it helps the creators making 'em.

All images I used for each comic are usually the first cover/first page. If the creators prefer I not do that or have another image they'd like me to use instead, please let me know.

I'm also hoping I can regularly update this as I continuously read more and more as I had to split the current list I had into two parts. So consider this Part 1.

No rank because this ain't a ranking list; we going alphabetical order.

1. A Dance With Death (http://overmorrowtales.com/death/cover.php)

Summary: It's the end of the world and Death is waiting for someone to dance with. Who could it be?

Hi, I went into this comic because the main cover had the Grim Reaper in a suit. I know what I'm about, son.

I left this short (really, it's only 34 pages, so you can finish it in about thirty minutes) with a mix of existential crisis and an odd sense of peace. I love seeing anthropomorphic personification of human ideas and the world around us. Just seeing the creator indulge in what they interpret the likes of the Four Horsemen, or Pain, or Fear, or etc etc was a visual treat to see.

Who Death dances with might feel obvious once you put the pieces together, but its the explanation behind why he chose them, especially in the face of an ongoing apocalypse, that both felt utterly clever in its interpretation and worthy of the wait.

2. All Known Alternatives (https://akacomic.com/)

SUMMARY: Akane must find the 42 keys spread across parallel worlds in order to get back home. Eri and Ben is spending summer vacation before university, but get caught in the conflict when one of the keys end up in their world.

All Known Alternatives is described as both fantasy and slice-of-life and it definitely feels like it. I'm a huge fan of collect-a-thon stories, a quest forever molded and shaped by the approx. one gazillion platformers that I've been playing since 1989.

The comic is still new, so for the most part, I've mostly been seeing the slice-of-life aspect of Eri (and a reluctant Ben) settling Akane in. While no doubt finding ALL 42 keys would been an ordeal task for any comic artist (indie or otherwise) to write and draw about (indeed, Akane has half the amount prior to the comic's start), I am curious to keep going to see if the main cast will get the reminding 20+ left, and presumably, enter other worlds (well, other then the ones we've seen so far.)

In-between chapters are, what I think are flashbacks, centered on a squad of military folks. Presumably this will be a "How-Did-They-Get-Here" kinda tale, possibly centered on Akane's origin, but it's too early to tell.

It's three chapters in, each roughly about 40+ pages plus intermission chapters (roughly anywhere from 6 - 10 pages), so it's got a decent-sized backlog to get into. I'll be keeping an eye on this one.

3. Augustine (https://comics.windywallflower.com/augustine)

SUMMARY: August and friends are constantly surviving in the region known as the Crater as they collect bounties, often with a huge heap of trouble they tend to leave in their wake. When they stumble upon an ancient artifact, they''ll be force to contest with other bounty hunters and Gods!

As of this post, I've only wrapped up Chapter 1. I think Chapter 2 had just started, so I haven't ventured further, so there's not a whole lot I can say about Augustine yet. However, the first issue is a good introduction to both the characters (lovable misfits who all Try Their Best) and the absolute chaotic tone of the whole comic.

Augustine wants you to be pumped. It's incredibly energetic and fun, helped by the largely orange background. And I'm not talking orange orange, I am talking bright, vibrant sugar-infested Tang orange. It really lends well to the vitality of this comic and it's really gorgeous when the creator mixes it with the other color they use a lot: deep blue.

I'm also just a casual fan of Greek mythology, so I'm excited for the possibility of backstories and/or meeting with Godly pantheons. This bitch loves Godly pantheons.

4. BACK (http://www.backcomic.com/)

(Note: I used the front cover of the first BACK physical comic because the first page is kinda just background.)

SUMMARY: Abigail wakes up from a coffin and is immediately told she is the key to ending the world. With no memory of who she is, Abigail just accepts and goes about her mission. Trailing along is a druid named Daniel, someone with enough morals hoping that maybe, Abigail, shouldn't really do the whole Ending the World thing.

BACK was still updating when I first read it (up to the Dead Man Arc, I believe) and at the time, I remember being restless for reasons I now can't comprehend. I read through the whole thing again and asked myself, "Why did I feel like it dragged? This is one of the breeziest comics I've ever read!"

Ya know what I also like besides collect-a-thons? Its cousin, the "Fight Every Major Boss to Get To The Final Boss and Save the World: plot. BACK comic is actually pretty straightforward, but it's brandished with KC Green's (well, and perhaps Anthony Clark's: as of this post, I have not read Nedroid, but I've been recommended to it by a mutual) trademark sense of humor, so there's plenty of lingering weirdness and cartoonish, over-the-top characters. It's the kind of comic where the silliness never leaves, often used as much for laughs as it does for brevity whenever it gets serious. I kinda thing it'd work as a Cartoon Network program, honestly. It kind of dips a fine line between being all-age or something Adult Swim would play.

By the time I finished, I was left immensely satisfied. It's about 800 pages, but reading BACK felt effortless. Maybe I would have felt differently if I had been keeping up with it per update when it was still going, but diving into it as a whole? It works. Each chapter, character introduction, and action scenes never overstay their welcome.

I'm pretty invested in the idea of getting physical copies of these books soon, BACK is just that dang good.

5. Come Hell or High Water (https://www.chohwcomic.com/)

SUMMARY: Prince Gladimir did not want to fall in love with a pirate, but he's thrown into his world of sea-farers and ne'ers do-wellers if it means saving his kingdom.

Can I just say I love the title of this comic? Come Hell or High Water is probably one of the badassest of all catchphrases and the creator just chose to use it as their title and it rules.

Everything about this premise rocks my world: elegant princely figure falling for his dashing, roguish pirate guy, fictional kingdoms and the political intrigues and conflict that arises within, high-faring sea ventures, and etc etc. This comic, by all means, is my jam.

Soooooooo, I actually kind of fell out of this comic early into its run. Something about it wasn't clicking for me, personally, but with thirteen chapters under its belt and me, having only gotten up to, roughly, the third chapter, I want to give this one another go later down the line. There is no way I can't leave this comic left unread when EVERYTHING about it fits my particular mold so well. I'm not sure what didn't stick with me, but it certainly is not the sexual tension between the main characters which, god, Chapter One starts off with Gladinmir breaking up with his hot pirate boyfriend and if that isn't a good conflict for the two of them to work out their issues, then I don't know what is.

6. Dead City (https://topazcomics.com/deadcity/welcome/)

(NOTE: The cover is from the physical copy of Dead City. I screencapped this from their official store, hence why the link is watermarked on it. But hey, now you can go and buy it. It's good! Read it!)

SUMMARY: Two guys survive a zombie apocalypse, learn a little about each other, and maybe, just maybe, fall in love. ;O

If it wasn't for a couple of blogs I follow vouching for this comic, I might not have read Dead City. Me and zombie stuff are not syncopatico. Dead City is not about that. The zombie stuff is just background for what it's really about: a slice-of-life and cozy (yes, really!) story of two guys just trying to make through a dying world one day at a time. Throughout the comic, they learn to lean on each other, learn who they are, and get into internal conflicts fighting off their demons.

It's short (roughly 190+ pages), it's sweet, and it genuinely left me feeling like things will be alright in spite of a burning world.

7. Doris Doodle (https://www.dorisdoodle.com/)

SUMMARY: Doris Doodle is an old-timey cartoon struggling to find acting jobs in a media field where she's considered a thing of the past. However, when she is caught on camera for an act of goodwill that launches her into viral popularity, a new door opens up for her, but not without drawbacks.

I think Doris Doodle ended up being one of my new favorites. I'm fond of the Roger Rabbit-ish world of toons living in a human environment, breathed to life by animators, and going about their daily lives in-between gigs as actors. Indeed, you see a lot of crossovers from numerous famous cartoon stars (Betty Boop being a prominent one), which leaves me curious on how much workload the creator has to do with their current goal to make a non-copyright-infringement, physical version of this. It'll be interesting to see.

In any case, Doris Doodle left me emotionally yearning for a happy ending for the main character. We see how the media world chews and spit her out even decades later, and how, once a wide-eyed actress who wanted to be seen, can turn so cynical and bitter at what she was denied, through acts often not of her own faults.

The comic explores the usual horridness of Hollywood shallowness and sexist bullshit, but it also explains what its like to be an old toon out-of-touch of an ever increasing modern world. I love the latter a bit more since it's uniquely set for fictional pen-and-paper denizens; seeing how Toons exist, how restricted their livelihood is no matter what decade you were born, and the methods they go through to survive is fascinatingly good worldbuilding.

8. Earth In a Pocket (http://earthinapocket.spiderforest.com/)

SUMMARY: Anthropologist Halisi Mwangi wants to bring Earth's past to numerous human space colonies. Grabbing precious artifacts that has dotted human history, she blasts off to achieve her goals. Unfortunately, an accident causes her to be stranded on an unknown planet, with only its residences left to keep her company.

I think about the future of our planet a lot, and I'm often terrified of what will happen. I've found myself increasingly annoyed at End of the World stories heavily laden with cynical, edgy bents. I'm not saying these can't have commentary, but geez louise, one can only deal with another "Humans Suck and Can't Be Trusted In the Face of Despair" narrative without withering into a fetal position. Like, man, I get it, but also, come on.

Futurama has always been kind of a comfort show for me. There's something reassuring to see a fictional depiction of Earth a thousand years later, still thriving. Their problems aren't any more or less better or worse than ours, but they're living and doing things and it's just kinda nice.

Earth in a Pocket does something similar: it's a futuristic world where science benefited mankind. There are space colonies now and safe travels in-between, with no sign of the Earth itself in any danger. The main characters is utterly positive and obsessively in love with what humanity has accomplished. She praises the capabilities of what we have done and can do; it's this thinking that not only motivates her to survive, but educate the little adorable jellyfish aliens, all of whom are curious to learn about this strange, bipedal creature.

This is another short comic, so it'll take maybe an hour to finish. I urge you, if you ever feel sad about the current state of the world, give Earth in a Pocket a try. It's compassionate to mankind's achievements, endlessly encourages learning through curiosity and mutual respect for each other's cultures, and reminds us the good we can do. It's just feels good.

9. Fairmeadow (https://www.fairmeadowcomic.com/)

SUMMARY: Goma, a warrior orc, lost and broken, ends up in Fairmeadow, a small community of pacifists lead by Sanctuary. There, Goma is accepted as long as she abides by their peacekeeping rules, which she increasingly challenges every step of the way.

I was initially hesitant to approach this comic because of its tabletop RPG influence, something I am vastly unfamiliar with. I wondered if there would have been terminology I wouldn't get, but I strode on because the premise sounded interesting.

And it was totally worth it. I didn't need to know a goddamn thing about Dungeons n' Dragons or whatnot to enjoy the heck out of this comic. It is exactly what the summary say it is: hardened warrior who has Seen War clashes with a bunch of idealists who refuses to engage. It is damn good showing the flaws behind what an isolationist, hippie-like community is when they refuse to engage in politic strife that, though they refuse to admit, does reflect the world they live in. Goma doesn't instantly endear, both in-universe and out, but the further you read, the more you understand and even side with her frustrations on these crop-hoarding loners who seem content in their impossibly fantasy world. And I love that both sides represent their positions as justified. It's a constant battle and I am eager to find out how these characters will engage with each other, and especially, how it'll end. Fairmeadow feels like the kind of comic where we won't get an easy answer by the time it wraps up.

10. The Glass Scientists (https://www.theglassscientists.com/)

SUMMARY: In a city increasingly hostile to mad scientists everywhere, a one Dr. Jekyll took it upon himself to create an academy to encourage and prep those scientists to fit into good society. Course, things get complicated when Jekyll's other side, the impish Mr. Hyde, constantly takes over to rein a little chaos.

Okay, so, I do enjoy The Glass Scientists. The comic seem to be reaching its end point, so shit is hitting the fan, and I am glued. But I think I'm drawn more to the aesthetic of the comic than anything. Like Victorian-era mad scientists aren't my particular bread and butter, but everything about the Victorian-era fashion is, so Dr. Jekyll in a top hat as the first thing I saw was going to draw me in no matter what.

The second thing that dragged me in was the HOLY SHIT THE ARTWORK IS FREAKIN' AMAZING WHAT THE FUCK THESE LOOK LIKE ONE OF THOSE COMICS WHERE THEY SCREENCAP CARTOONS. I found out the creator works for animation professionally, so that explains a lot. This is a maddeningly great looking comic, with some incredibly good lighting haunting the streets of London.

Things really get interesting a few chapters in when Dr. Frankenstein appears and I feel that's when the comic really takes off. Like, if 19th century English literature and mad scientist gremlins are your thing, definitely give this a read. If anything, maybe you, too, will weep in tears at how gorgeous the comic looks.

11. Goth Western (https://www.gothwestern.com/)

SUMMARY: With an act of necromancy, Jack brings her lover, Evelyn, back to life, at the cost of working for the God she gave her soul to. Now she must hunt down a man in order for the two of them to have their happy ending.

Damn. "Goth Western." That's a title that goes hard. Another short comic that can be read in one fell swoop, Goth Western is pretty much what it is: a dark fantasy ol' west story between two women who would go to the ends of the Earth for each other. It's got all the hallmarks of the western genre: gun fights, bounty hunters, deserts and saloons, etc. I'm not particularly ride or die for Westerns, but it's there for those who are.

What I did love is the sheer optimism behind the grit. I like that Jack and Evie are genuinely decent people who just so happens to have no conniption committing some immoral acts or a crime or two if it means ensuring their own future. And they go through some shit. And you root for them regardless because they love each other and deserve to be together, and in spite of its harsh background, they will find it.

Honestly, with the length of the book, Goth Western feels like it could be an amazing and fun film.

12. Hans Vogel Is Dead (https://www.hansvogelisdead.com/)

SUMMARY: Ace pilot Hans Vogel dies in the Battle of Britain, wherein he ends up in a stagnating fairy tale world. Along with a girl cursed in a fox's body, Hans traverse the land as he strives to be a better person and unlearn the rampant fascism that has encapsulated his entire life.

I can only reason reading the summary above is enough for people to put two-and-two together that this takes place in 1940s World War II. And it's even more obvious what Party Hans is involved in, so if that kind of background is not to your liking, I don't recommend it.

If it's any worth, the majority of the story takes place in said fictional fairy tale world, using it as a thematic drive to explore Hans' background to have him realize, pretty early, in fact, that his entire fascist view is wrong. It's clearly a lovingly-crafted story, the creator constantly peppers each page notes with trivia and facts about the time period (her bio states she's a historian.)

I've gone in and out with the comic (one of those "I'll check back when it updates a few page" sorta thing), but I appreciate the chutzpah of the creator to make its lead character a literal Nazi and going out of her way to explore what it is like to have lived in that specific time period with a society and culture that devalued so many people. How will Hans get out of this kind of thinking and be a better person? Are his actions forgivable? I kind of feel questions like these are somewhat balanced by Hans himself, who, rather than portrayed as some arrogant jackass, is instead rather timid and unsure of himself.

Hans Vogel Is Dead feels very much like a "We will be doomed to repeat history unless we learn it" kind of comic, which, shit, given the politic course my country is going through, having a comic like this educating on why being a dangerous bigot is an awful thing, feels appropriately well-timed.

13. Harpy Gee (https://www.harpygee.com/)

SUMMARY: A young, magic-less elf enters the town of Podunk. There she has fantastical adventures with her new friends.

I know the summary's lacking, but 1.) I imagine most people already know about Harpy Gee or its artist. I've followed her stuff before she launched this comic because of wowie-zowie I would kill to use copic markers the way she does let me learn your ways coloring skills and 2.) That's kinda what Harpy Gee is.

For sure there are scenes, foreshadowing, and characters that launch off future plot points, but otherwise, Harpy Gee is like watching a family-friend cartoon. It's got the bright colors, often has cheesy little dialogues, magic and monsters, and every other little dangerous, but manageable adventures the main characters get into. It's a nice comic to read when you want to unwind, and I really dig how earnest it is with its kid-friendly appeal. There's not a drop of cynicism or edge to it; the optimism and sense of fun is what gives Harpy Gee so much of its charm.

The creator has since graduated to digital coloring (though she still inks her comics the ol' fashion way), but I really recommend checking out the early pages to see how she works her magic with markers. Like, I'm biased, my stuff is traditional artwork, so I'm endlessly fascinated when I DO see another webcomic in the wild doing the same, but her stuff is eye candy. Like *chef's kiss.*

14. Hoppscotch (https://z-t00n.tumblr.com/tagged/hoppscotch)

SUMMARY: Bunch of animal people get into wacky shenanigans and boy, that is an understatement.

So, as far as I'm concerned, this comic is only hosted on the creator's tumblr page. It also doesn't have a cover and I wasn't very comfortable even posting a full page because of where its hosted, so I just took a small screencap of a couple of panels from a newer page to give an indicator of the kind of humor you are in for when reading Hoppscotch. (Though let me know if you'd rather this pic be removed.)

In any case, this comic wondered into my radar when a person I follow reblogged the one Hoppscotch comic with the exploding school bus. I remember scrolling down thinking it couldn't possibly get any more bizarre, but it kept elevating itself until I was left in awe at how GOOD with spontaneity it is. This is a comic that sets you up to think it'll go the expected route, but will often always, always go in a completely unpredictable, unhinged ending, and it gets me every. single. time. I haven't laughed so hard in a comic in a while. I was floored by its mastery of deranged comedy and I am genuinely looking forward to more.

A lot of this is really helped by the appealing artwork. Furries aren't in my radar, but I love the character designs. They're colorful, adorable, and really streamlined. Like this kinda has a mid-to-late 2000s Nicktoons/CN sorta vibe.

15. Kidd Commander (https://kiddcommander.com/)

SUMMARY: Phineas Kidd vows to gather a crew so she can fly off to Kairos Crossing to accomplish her goal: to catch the Sun.

Kidd Commander immediately drew me in the moment I read "to catch the sun" in the comic's "About" page. Maybe it's my love for cosmic eldritch horrors. Maybe it's that one Specter Knight fancomic I'll never get to making where I have him literally cut the sun (long story), but whatever it is, I bookmarked the webcomic to read it when I had time because I had to know what the hell I was getting into.

And then I read it (as of this writing, I wrapped up the Mile High Engage arc and stopped shortly after I started the A Wretched Analog arc) and I sat there with my hand over my head, wondering, "What the heck did I just read?"

I mean that in the best way.

Kidd Commander is a dense webcomic. It pounds you deep into its constructed world, with terms that I admit, I'm still trying to make sense of. Mind you, the comic explains what I need to know. What is it about Kidd Commander is that it goes with the assumption that you, the reader, is not a moron. It won't hold your hand; it expects you to keep up with the characters' nuances, the nature of its world and how it exists, and every other little intricate of foreshadowing waiting to be unraveled. The creator has a degree in English literature and it shows, in that while this can be a wordy comic, it's less about how much is squeezed in a word balloon (of which Kidd Commander does fine), but the way it is written. If it isn't casual dialogue, then it gets evocative, especially when it gets serious and/or bigger plot stuff unravel.

After I finished the first arc (which was a sizable 440 pages), I had to take a breather. It can be overwhelming, but it's also a comic that is clearly driven both by passion and anger. It feels like the comic equ. of wanting to punch all the bastards that has ever wronged you. It wants to internally liberate itself as much as it hopes for you. Its constructed world genuinely feels like the creator's own, all the while drawing in the best of shonen comics (bonus points for the aesthetic airship. This bitch loves airships.)

I plan to read further into the comic, but I wanted to make sense of the world it has laid out first. And I found out that sometimes the best way for me to read a piece of fiction and really get to the meat is not through digital format, but physically in my hands.

So I ended up buying the book to do exactly that:

I implore people to give Kidd Commander a shot. If you want something that feels so raw, built to give you a sense of catharsis to people of things with greater power that has wronged you, then this comic might as well be its spokesperson.

[gffa]

Usually, I like to finish reading a fic before recommending it properly, but I've been sucked into about five different STAR WARS fics recently that I've gotten far enough into that I'm willing to trust my heart to them because they're scratching a very specific itch for me--namely, that I want deeper explorations of both the Jedi Order and of Anakin's character. I want fic to punch me in the feelings over both of these aspects of the story. I want fic to sometimes set Obi-Wan and Anakin aside and focus on Ahsoka for awhile, really tell her story. I want Jedi themes woven into a story. I want an exploration of Anakin's mindset that reminds me of just how much I love him and have sympathy for him. And fandom has delivered for me.

DO YOU WANT FIC TO BLACK OUT TO AND LOSE AN ENTIRE WEEKEND OVER? HAVE I GOT SOME RECS FOR YOU:

✦ Out with Lanterns by SkyeBean, ahsoka & mace & jedi & clones & cast, 312.5k     In another universe, Jedi Masters Plo Koon and Depa Billaba decide a Padawan could do Mace some good. It takes a while, but he eventually agrees. When he takes Ahsoka Tano as his Padawan, Mace knows that he's broken through a Shatterpoint and changed the course of a life. How, he doesn't know.     This fic accomplishes several things that have sent me over the moon: 1) At its heart, it's an Ahsoka fic that shows her growing up as a Padawan, going on missions, learning lessons, and having character growth. 2) It weaves in so many other characters around her, that Mace is there in almost every chapter, serious but warm in the Force, just as beautifully characterized as she is. 3) The other Jedi get their moments of excellents, Shaak taking Ahsoka on her Akul hunt was wonder to read, seeing Obi-Wan show up for a chapter had me over the moon, Adi taking care with Ahsoka was lovely, Depa was a shining star when she took Ahsoka under her wing, Fox growing used to these strange Jedi and growing into himself through Ahsoka's eyes was wonderful. 4) The writing is that kind of solid that I don't mean as mid-tier, but the kind that I feel like can bear weight on it, I can pick it up and read for 30k and barely realize any time has passed, despite that I've gotten through an entire arc of the fic. 5) It does an incredible job of balancing that feel of The Clone Wars show, without directly copying anything, that it's like these are arcs that I could have seen on the show itself, the lessons woven in, but still with enough plot moving forward and action to make it exciting. If you want more Jedi-centric fic in your life (where they don't have to be perfect! sometimes they can be less than perfect and it's okay because they're still good! ohhhh, my heart warmed at that) or you want to read a lovely Ahsoka-centric fic in a different life, but still so recognizably herself, then this is one I want to shove right in your face immediately.

✦ Take it from the top and try again by mauvera, obi-wan & anakin & qui-gon & padme & mace & dooku & cast, time travel, 116.k wip     Five years into his self imposed exile on Tattooine, Obi-Wan Kenobi is gifted the chance to go back and bring hope back to the galaxy. With hindsight on his side, he fully intends to save his master, save his padawan, make some new and old friends again, prepare the Jedi for a war they’ll hopefully never see and begin to pull apart all the many tangled threads of the Sith Lord’s plans. Should be relatively easy. Right?     I got sucked into the first fic in this series (which is complete, if you want to read it--it's not the end of the story, but it's a good stopping point and feels like it should have some solid resolution if you don't want to get into a wip) and read the first fic over the course of about three days because I was sucked in so thoroughly. I can never get enough of Obi-Wan time traveling back to the past, where he loves the Jedi and they love him, and I love this one because he has to make genuine plans for changing things--things change and I have no idea how that's going to affect Palpatine's machinations! Exciting! But it's also a lovely look at Obi-Wan's dynamics with multiple characters--I found the Obi-Wan & Padme scenes a hightlight personally, their friendship really blossomed as they both flung themselves into trying to better the galaxy, even if she doesn't know he's from the future, that he's working so hard matched a lot of her energy and I really enjoyed that--from Qui-Gon to Mace to Padme to Anakin and, as the sequel progresses, Dooku as well. It's another Jedi-positive fic, it has me invested in the plot, it's a joy to see competent!Obi-Wan, and I would love to shove it at more people.

✦ Post Order 66 Exile AU by Livsy, obi-wan & anakin, 46k (wip-esque)     After a failed order 66, in which many Jedi still died but the Sith were defeated, an exiled warrior and a boy wander a distant planet and attempt to get along.     This is probably the shortest fic on this list but I'm including it because it genuinely felt longer than that, for how dense the emotional intensity of it is. It's an AU where the Jedi barely eked out a victory, still on the edge of extinction in many ways, and Anakin deep in the pits of the dark side, so Obi-Wan takes him to a backwater planet in exile for the both of them, traveling through the countryside and just trying to make it from day to day. What punched me right in the feelings place is that this fic doesn't shy away from the hurt and the anger on both sides, that both of them are allowed to be unreliable narrators that have their own points of view on what's transpired and what lays between them. It doesn't back away from the hurt they both feel, the despair they both feel, yet there's hope here. It's ultimately a story about clawing yourself back from the dark side, and it's beautifully characterized for both of them, that unkind things are said on both of their parts, but you understand why the characters are in the place they are. It's wrapped up in a lushly written backdrop, with some lovely Japanese feudal era details woven in, but also with a Star Wars patina spread across all of it. It's not necessarily a kind fic, but if you like fic that bites down on a wound, I enjoyed this series a lot and would love to see it continued--but, honestly, what's here is already enough resolution that, looking back on it after the initial "Noooooo, I need more!" feeling has faded, I'm actually very satisfied with. ✦ Men of Power by AlabasterInk, obi-wan & anakin & mace & yoda & jedi & palpatine & cast, 86.1k wip     When an old powerful man suddenly comes in and sweeps your underage Padawan away without so much as a by your leave, that’s the time to start asking questions.     I'm only about 20k into this fic, so I can't say what shape it will take later on or how much pairings might come into it, but I still had to come running over to shove this fic at people, because it's scratching the itch I have for Jedi-positive fic that explores the idea of Anakin's trauma from his childhood as a slave, that this is a child who is wound so tight and comes from such a horrible thing having been done to him, having been owned as a person, that I understand why he stays silent on some of the things I desperately wish he could talk about or he doesn't really believe some of the things the Jedi tell him. It's a fic that takes a lot more care with Anakin's character than I think canon ever intended, weaving in a lot of the heartbreaking stuff from Legends' supplementing the canon, and is creating something that punches me right in the feelings place for him, that he's such a bright, brilliant boy, but I see why he struggled and it's not about assigning blame in any direction. It's about deeply caring people who fate has take a few steps to the left and something shifts just a little--and I appreciate that there's something very delicate feeling here, that the Jedi just don't have any real reason to be suspicious of Palpatine, his actions make sense, they genuinely can't feel any ill intention from him in the Force, they discuss why it would make sense that he'd want to support Anakin, all while we the readers can see, in hindsight, where the shadows have been creeping in. If you want Jedi-positive fic that also leaves some teeth marks over Anakin's trauma being explored in a way that is entirely sympathetic to him, then I want to shove this fic at you, too.

[achilles-rage]

Good Luck Charm: Chapter 18

college football player!buck x plus size!reader

summary: you finally finish your assignment and talk about the upcoming holiday break.

word count: 3.1k

previous chapter

series masterlist

a/n: believe me when i say i was not planning for this chapter to go the way it did. but it’s fine it was hot<3 i also kept the holiday reader celebrates ambiguous to keep it inclusive, so hopefully i can keep it going being nonspecific lol, enjoy<3

warnings: smut, plus size!reader, fem!reader, race inclusive!reader

MDNI- 18+ only!

While Evan put up a fight at first about accepting your help, he quickly got over it. You kept trying to reassure him that you want to help, that you want him to heal as well as possible, even if you have to do things for him. He didn’t listen at first; he didn’t want to be a burden; he didn’t want you to be annoyed with him or feel like you had to help him. But still, you continued to care for him with a smile on your face, and soon enough, he started to love how much you were doting on him. It made him feel important, loved.

It’s almost exhausting when he’s finally used to you doing things for him, and you’d be a little upset if he wasn’t so cute with his little pouty lips and puppy dog eyes. 

“Princess, can you get me some more water?”

“Princess, can you get me a sweater?”

“Princes, can you…?”

You’re almost certain he’s exaggerating his injuries by now, as his concussion is gone and his ankle has been healing for a couple of weeks, but how can you say no when he asks you to stay with him for a little bit longer? You love being with him, and you love taking care of him, so it makes sense to spend most nights at his place rather than going back to your apartment.

You’re at his house again, both of you sitting on his bed as you work on the final touches of your assignment. You’re happy to finally be done with it, although you have this weird feeling in your chest that once your assignment is handed in, you won’t have any reason to see Evan. You know your worries are unnecessary; you’re dating, and he seems very content in keeping you around all the time, but you feel that minuscule voice in your head telling you what you know isn’t true. 

You look out his bedroom window, smiling as you see the soft blanket of snow covering his front yard, the sunset shining brightly off of it and making you excited for the quickly approaching winter break. It’s already December, and you can’t believe how quickly the semester has passed. A couple weeks off and finally able to spend some time with your family? You couldn’t imagine anything better. Especially for the holidays.

“What are you doing for winter break?” you ask as Evan types away on his computer. He looks up at you after a moment, his fingers stilling on his keyboard. His expression almost looks upset, but he quickly covers it with a small smile.

“I’m not sure yet. I’ll probably stay here; hang out with some of the guys on the team that aren’t going home either.” he tells you, his voice oddly monotone. You know he’s not especially close to his parents, but you didn’t know it was bad enough for him to not go home during winter break. He’s definitely holding his emotions back right now, and it makes your heart clench to think about him alone during the holidays, with no loving family to go home to.

“Your parents don’t want you to go home?” you ask, but you already know the answer. He shrugs, giving you a soft “I don’t think they care” as he looks down at his hands, fidgeting with his fingers. Sadness fills your eyes, and you let out a quiet exhale. How can his parents not want to see him?

“What about your sister? I’m sure she wants to see you.” you try to reassure him, but you can see that your words cause sadness to fill his eyes as he shakes his head. You reach over and grab one of his hands, which pulls his gaze from his lap to your face. 

“You can’t be alone for the holidays.” you whisper. You can feel the question on the tip of your tongue, and while you know it may be a little weird to ask, it feels like the words are fighting their way up your throat.

“I’ll be alright, princess. It’s not the first time, and I’m sure it won’t be the last.” he tells you with a shrug, trying to mask his sadness with a reassuring smile. You tilt your head to the side as you look at him, frowning. You feel the words slip from your mouth before you can stop him; why is he the one reassuring you right now? You should be the one telling him that he shouldn’t have to be used to that. That he deserves to feel loved all the time, but especially around the holidays.

“Why don’t you come home with me for the break?” His eyes widen at your words, and for a moment, so do yours. You know it’s probably too early for that kind of thing; he’d be meeting your entire family, for God’s sake, but you can’t imagine him sitting here alone while everyone else is with their families.

“You want me at your parents’ house for the holidays?” he asks in disbelief, although he can feel his heart pounding at the thought. He absolutely loves the idea of meeting your parents, and spending a few weeks in your hometown; learning even more about you.

“I’m sure they’d love to meet you. I know my mom does.” you tell him a bit sheepishly. You’ve told your mom about him already, although you’re not as close to her as you once were, you still talk to her fairly regularly.

“Your dad doesn’t?” he asks you curiously, using the hand holding yours to pull you towards him. You get up onto your knees and crawl across the bed, then straddle his lap and wrap your arms around his neck loosely.

“I haven’t told him. Not sure how he’d react.” you say with a shrug, leaning forward and resting your forehead against his. He hums softly, and although he’s a little nervous about your answer, he also feels an overwhelming urge to prove to your father that he’s good for you.

“Yeah? Tell me about him, so I know what to expect.” You lean back, looking at him with an unsure smile, disbelief in your eyes. 

“You’ll come?” you ask, your smile widening when he nods. You laugh softly and lean in to give him a chaste kiss, but he quickly deepens it, his hand moving to your jaw and tilting your head slightly. You smile into the kiss, and let him continue to kiss you for a moment, one of your hands making its way into his hair while his other hand moves up and down your thigh.

“So, tell me about your parents.” he speaks after he pulls away, looking up at you with a gleam in his eye. He loves the way you look sitting on his lap, lips puffy and eyes in a slight daze. He thinks it’s adorable that even after the countless times he’s kissed you, you still always pull back with wide eyes and a soft smile, almost like you’re surprised he’s kissing you.

“Well, my mom will love you, so you don’t have to worry about her much. I think she’ll just be happy I’ve finally brought someone home. My dad’s sort of protective, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. He’s a firefighter, and he’s an extrovert, so all you have to do is ask him about his job, and the heat will be off of you for hours.” you explain to him, laughing softly as you explain your dad’s tendency to talk about his job. He’s always wanted to be a firefighter, and he loves the job, so it’s become a joke between you and your mom about how quickly he can change the subject to work during conversations with anyone that will listen. 

Evan hums softly, nodding as he listens to you. He laughs along with you, feeling his nerves settle slightly as you tell him how to get on your dad’s good side. He can’t believe he’s agreed to this so quickly; a few months ago, he would never have pictured himself being introduced to a girl’s parents. But now, with you, he feels both excited and like his heart is about to stop from his nerves.

“You think he’ll like me?” he asks a bit nervously. You smile, shrugging as you think about it. You’ve never introduced a guy to your father, so you’re really not sure how he’ll react. While you want to reassure Evan, you don’t want to give him a false sense of hope. 

“I like you. I think he’ll see that. He might just have to warm up to you.” you tell him after a moment of silence. He nods again at your words, licking his lips as he averts his gaze from yours, beginning to think about it maybe a little too much. “Hey, it’s gonna be okay. He’ll probably just want to make sure you’re a good guy. It’s not like he’ll find out you’re, like, a murderer or something.” you tease in a low voice, giving him a cheeky smile. You want to calm his nerves; you can see the wheels turning in his head. He chuckles as his eyes refocus on you, and he pulls you in by the back of your neck, lips level with your ear.

“Maybe not, but I definitely wouldn’t want him to find out what I’ve done with you, how I think of you most of the time.” he rasps, and you feel your cheeks grow hot. 

“Yeah? What are you thinking about right now?” you get out, your voice just above a whisper. Although your words are teasing, your stomach is filled with butterflies. Even after months of being with him, there’s always a split second that you forget you’re not still the shy, inexperienced person you were before.

“I’m thinking about taking you in your childhood bedroom. Your parents in the other room. Having to put my hand over your mouth to keep your quiet.” he says, nipping at your neck between sentences. You bite your lip, feeling a familiar warmth in the pit of your stomach.

“You’re crazy if you think my dad’s gonna let us share a room.” you tease softly, tilting your head back as he continues to kiss your neck. He chuckles against your skin, which causes you to shiver as his hot breath hits your neck.

“What he doesn’t know won’t kill him.” he whispers in your ear, then continues his trail of kisses down your neck. You roll your eyes, giggling softly, but it’s cut short when you feel Evan’s hand dip below the waistband of both your leggings and your panties, and move straight to your core.

“You’re so wet already. You like that idea? Having to keep quiet for me?” he says in a cocky tone, looking up at you. You bite your lip as your hips buck against his hand instinctively, trying to gain more friction as his fingers ghost against your clit.

He chuckles as he feels your hips move, but doesn’t tease any further. He pushes a finger into your dripping cunt, pumps it into you a few times, then adds another. You mewl softly, leaning down to capture his lips in a kiss, which he happily returns. His thumb finds your clit after a moment, and he groans as he feels you clench around his fingers with a soft moan.

“You’re so good for me, princess. Always so good for me.” he says against your lips, then curls his fingers to hit that spot inside of you that makes you see stars. You tilt your head back with a whine, rolling your hips as you feel the familiar feeling growing in your belly.

He increases his movements when he sees your face contorting in pleasure, knowing you’re approaching your high, but you stop him before you can get there. You pull his hand away with quick, albeit reluctant, movements.

“Need to feel you.” you whisper in an almost pleading tone, and that’s all it takes.

He grabs your hips and flips you over onto the bed, then moves to kneel in front of you. He reaches for your leggings and makes quick work of pulling them and your panties down your legs, you lifting your hips off the bed to help him out. He makes you sit up once your bottoms are discarded, and pulls your knit sweater over your head, not even bothering to take your bra off before his hands are pulling on his shirt. Once he’s taken his clothes off, he’s on top of you, using one arm to hold himself up, and the other pumping his cock a few times before moving the tip over your slick folds.

“Please.” you beg as you look up at his face, pupils blown and lips turned in an almost-pout. He licks his lips as his eyes move up from your cunt to your eyes, smirking. He doesn’t waste any more time, and he sinks into you with a breathy groan. His head falls to the crook of your neck as he buries himself to the hilt, feeling you stretching around him so perfectly. 

“Oh my god.” you whine as your hands find his shoulders. Your nails dig into his skin as he starts to move, and you don’t think you’ll ever get used to his size. He fits so nicely inside of you, but you’d be lying if you said there’s not a second when he first pushes into your dripping cunt where you think that you’re too full, that you won’t get used to the feeling of all of him.

“That’s it, princess. Let me hear you.” he drawls. He picks up the pace as he begins to kiss down your neck, making sure he leaves light spots around your collar bones and tits. He loves marking you, but the last time he marked your neck, you got mad that you weren’t able to cover it up easily, so now he leaves them in places for his eyes only. 

You let out a shuttered cry when his fingers find your clit again, and your nails dig into his back more harshly, which makes him groan in a mix of pain and pleasure. He loves to be marked by you too, loves having reminders of you on his skin. He leans back to look into your eyes again, and he almost smirks when he sees you struggling to keep your eyes open, your body moving with each thrust. He looks down at your soft tummy and chest and he moans again. He loves seeing your tummy move as he fucks you; almost as much as he likes to fill your belly with his seed.

“Keep making noises like that and I won’t last long, baby.” he teases, then meets your lips in a deep kiss. His hips move in rough thrusts as his fingers circle your clit, and you know that you’re not going to last long either.

“Feels so good.” you rasp against his lips, and he smirks as he pulls back.

“Yeah? You like that, princess?” he asks in a cocky tone, feeling his high quickly approaching as he looks down at your fucked out expression. All you can do is nod as you feel the pit in your tummy growing, your words coming out in incoherent babbling.

With a few more thrusts, Evan is right on the edge, but as he’s about to pull out, you wrap your legs around his waist. He raises a brow as you look up at him, soft pleas escaping your lips.

“Come inside me. Evan, please.” you get out, keeping your legs firmly locked around him. He groans, trying not to cum right then and there. The way you say his name makes his head spin, and soon enough, he’s nodding, his hips snapping against yours with increased fervor.

“You want me to fill you up? Huh, princess?” he asks, leaning in to whisper in your ear. His thrusts are getting sloppy, and you know he’s almost there.

“Please. Fill me up.” you plead, your back arching off the bed as you feel yourself teetering on the edge.

“Come for me, baby. Let me feel you.” he grunts in your ear, and after a few more thrusts, you feel his hot cum hitting your insides. This, paired with his fingers ghosting over your clit causes you to fall over to the edge with a high pitched squeal, clenching around him as your vision goes blank. You squeeze your eyes shut as your body goes stiff, your hands still firmly on his shoulders.

“There you go, princess. God, you’re gorgeous.” he whispers against your skin. He slows his hips to a stop, staying inside of you for a minute or two as you both catch your breath. He moves his head down to the valley of your breasts, pressing soft kisses all over the skin not covered by your bra as he stays lying on top of you, and you hum happily.

After a few minutes, he finally pulls out, groaning at the sight of his cum dripping down your soft skin and onto his sheets. He grabs a towel from his closet and cleans you off carefully, pressing kisses on your plush belly as his hands moves, and once he’s done, he crawls back into bed beside you and pulls you in to lay your head on his chest.

“We can’t do this at my parents’ house.” you tease as you lay your cheek against his chest, and you smile when you feel the rumble of his laugh ripple through his chest under you.

“No? Don’t think you can keep quiet?” he replies in a similar tone, squeezing your shoulder as he holds you tightly against him. 

“I’m more worried about you.” you tell him in a serious tone. He can hear the smile in your voice, but he still rolls his eyes as he scoffs.

“Yeah, we’ll see.” he says in a quiet tone, voice trailing off as he looks up at the ceiling. 

If you’re really serious about not doing anything for two weeks, he thinks he’ll go crazy. He’s been able to have you pretty much anytime he wants for the past few months, and imagining you at your house, forbidden fruit dangling in front of him with your father around, he knows it’s going to be torture for him.

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[yuri-is-online]

Love and Deepspace Timeline: Xavier

This is all speculation and should not be taken as fact, I have made a previous post about Zayne, but as stated there I do not have the necessary cards to make one for Rafayel and will direct you to this post by u/joonmin on the love and deepspace subreddit. This post is being made before I have managed to complete the Myths date (as soon as I hit level 55 it is over for you hos) and will be updated at some point once I have finished it, but I think I have enough information to explain Xav's overall timeline and hopefully clear up a few things for people missing his cards.

I have included a TL;DR at the end of the post for people who don't want to get lost in the weeds of theorizing.

Some information from that post about Zayne will be re-hashed here to help provide context about the game's setting. SPOILERS FOR ALL IN GAME CONTENT UP TO CHAPTER 8, VARIOUS MOMENTS, AND ANECDOTES, PROCEED WITH CARE.

Current Timeline

The current timeline where the main story of LAD takes place is set in the year 2048 in a place called Linkon City. We are told that the Deepspace Tunnel opened 14 years prior and that is when wanderers started invading earth. There is a lack of understanding about why this has happened, and it has sparked an interest in space exploration in the hopes of finding a solution.

The Hunters Association is sort of like an adventurers guild? It's supervised by the government, and is sort of split between Hunters like MC and researchers attempting to understand what makes the wanderers tick.

This includes researching protocores, currently the only thing the hunter's association knows for sure is that they contain a great deal of energy, and that they can cause disease in humans based off of which category the protocore falls into. This is confirmed the be what is wrong with MC, and appears to be a problem all versions of her share.

The events immediately following the opening of the Deepspace Tunnel are referred to as the Catastrophe due to the amount of destruction caused by the influx of wanderers. This is what birthed the N109 Zone. According to the in game Spacepedia, it is surrounded by various other "no-hunt" zones, which it further clarifies as being places with "a chaotic Protofield and frequent Wanderer appearances," i.e. really dangerous places for people to live let alone go to. Civilians are outright banned and hunters need special permission to enter because of just how dangerous these places are considered to be.

Unlike Zayne and Rafayel, Xavier does not have an alternate self yet. The versions of him in his myths card and all of his anecdotes are all the same person, just at various points in his long life. The technicality of this is addressed in one of the shareable posts: Immortality No Longer A Dream! The article goes into detail about how a new biotech company using protocores to regenerate the heart. You can share this article with each of the three boys, who have different types of reactions, but Xavier's is not one of surprise or skepticism, but of acceptance. The article itself talks about immortality as something everyone will one day be able to accomplish, but Xavier disagrees.

Xavier's first two anecdotes, A Special Vacation and Passing By, both establish how exactly he has been living his life on earth since his arrival. We learn that he has been doing his best to keep a low profile by moving between various jobs and tries to avoid making friends. As mentioned by @exactlycleverpirate in the replies of this post (who has made their own timeline you can check out here) "Xavier says he has been on Earth for 214 years, and that this will be his last. That means he arrived in 1834. We also see in one of his Tender Moments, that he rented a book from the library 30 years ago. So he has definitely been on Earth longer than the Deepspace tunnel has been around." Chapter 8 ends tells us that soon Earth and Philos will be in alignment for the first time in billions of years, which is likely why Xavier says this year will be his last, but I am unclear about what exactly that will cause.

We learn that there are other immortals from the same place as Xavier living in Linkon City, and that some of the see him as a traitor. We can assume that many of these immortals are involved with Onychinus due to Xavier's knowledge of and interest in their organization.

It's not clear how or when Xavier chose to start working as a Deepspace Hunter, but the other jobs he's taken all seem to be related to the military/evol combat. He is also very keen on fighting wanderers, so being a hunter is a good way for him to hide in plain sight. Which is what he has been trying to do.

His Precious Bonfire date suggests he has been a hunter longer than MC and has a reputation of not participating in team events. He has the highest level of access to the Hunters Association database and seems to have a good working relationship with Jenna, who seems content to let him do his own thing. She also attempted to assign MC as his partner, in part seemingly because she wants to protect MC's evol.

There is of course also the concept of Lumiere, a legendary hunter who appears during the catastrophe caused by the Deepspace Tunnel and wreaked any wanderer he came across. He has a light evol, a giant bounty on his head, and looks exactly like Xavier when we see his wanted poster in Chapter 8. While MC might have her doubts, since we the reader know Xavier is immortal, it's not much of a jump to say these two hunters are the same person.

Chapter 8 gives us more detailed look at the exact dynamics these immortals have with each other, but I think it makes sense to talk about Xavier's origins first so we know where he is coming from.

Philos Timeline

As I said on my other post, all of the Myths cards take place on the planet of Philos. In the present timeline, Philos is no longer a planet, just a lonely core floating in deepspace at the other end of the deepspace tunnel. In Xavier's third anecdote, When Shooting Stars Fall, we finally learn what Philos is: it's Earth. An Earth that has been reborn by substituting the planet's old core with an artificial one and with a different name.

Now this anecdote takes place in the year 214, which is explained to us as meaning 214 years has passed since Earth was destroyed and reborn as Philos. How does that make sense if we are currently on a very much alive earth with a very dead Philos on the other end of the Deepspace Tunnel? No clue, but I think that's going to be one of the main focuses of the story. Something had to happen to Earth to make it become Philos, and then something happened to Philos to make it uninhabitable. Given what we know, both are likely related to wanderers.

I also want to briefly mention that in Rafayel's myths card, it is mentioned that the sea is missing so the Lemurians have no home. Based off of MC's description of the weather and how "fragmented landmasses" are being held together, I wonder if the re-birth of Earth as Philos is what caused the seas to dry up? And if so what role did MC have in the creation of Philos if any?

This anecdote is from the pov of MC who is studying at a school she simply refers to as "The Academy." It is unclear if this is the same school as she and Xavier are attending in his Lightseeker cards, but based off the uniform he wears and the sword he carries I think this is likely meant to be a highschool of some sort, and the Astria Knyght Academy is a form of military school equivalent to a college.

Xavier's words about immortality being a privilege come into play here as we learn something about MC: she always seems to have heart problems, specifically she always seems to have Protocore Syndrome, the exact same disease she currently has. In this anecdote she explains it as being a birth defect that has only one cure, a special protocore. One that supposedly can cure any illness.

Protocore disease prevents the patient from living forever, something Xavier finds very hard to accept. He abandons MC for a month without telling her where he is going to try and find this Protocore that she needs to live, but comes back too late. By the time he finds her, the core can't save her and he holds her as she dies. She asks if he thinks they will meet in her next life and he promises to always wait for her.

We know current timeline MC has shards of an Aether core in her heart, and that her heart is currently stable. While the anecdote does not outright say that the cure to Protocore Syndrome is an Aether core, Xavier's knowledge of them and his emotions when MC brings them up to him makes me think it probably is. Currently we do not know how an Aether core can be obtained, other than (assuming that is what he brought MC) Xavier was injured getting one. The MC here says she is unable to live for more that a century, something that has changed in her next re-incarnation but we don't know why.

When MC re-incarnates she is brought under the tutelage of the Grandis Knight, the personal knight and retainer to the King of Philos. Xavier is the Crown Prince of Philos, and is also studying under swordplay under the Grandis Knight. She has no memories of Xaveir, who does not tell her about their shared past despite holding on to the gift she made for him: a star sword tassel. This doesn't seem to bother him as much as you might expect, he mostly just seems happy to have her alive again.

She is stupid jealous of that tassel because Xavier openly admits to being in love with the girl who gave it to him. But he also speaks about her and the MC in the same sentence if that makes any sense? He sees both versions of her as her, and just as he promised he intends to wait for her so they can be together.

Xavier is an interesting character (to me anyway) because he has a pretty clear arc to his attitude towards his relationship with MC as he ages. He starts off as being shy in the third anecdote, then he moves to being openly teasing and affectionate (outright asking to elope and saying things that make it sounds like they might have been betrothed) in his lightseeker cards, to how he is at the end of his myths date and currently with MC: restrained in his interactions with her but unable to completely keep himself away. Why he has become restrained, why he thinks he needs to distance himself from MC is unclear. What is clear is that he has no interest in taking the throne from his father, a man he actively hates and does not seem to see eye to eye with. While their relationship seems to have always been tense, the breaking point is during Xavier's Gladius Ceremony.

The Gladius Ceremony is a sort of coming of age ceremony where the heir proves their ability to ascend the throne by killing a wanderer with nothing but their lightblade. Something happened during that trial that Xavier does not want to talk about and MC mentions he has "changed" since then. Like he left part of himself behind????

As an interesting note this trial takes place in a forest, a sentient forest much like No-Hunt Zone 7 in chapter three.

Xavier says he cannot be the man his father wants. What his father wants is not clear, but I personally think it has something to do with what wanderers are as Xavier seems to have a degree of sympathy towards them if they show a degree of sentience. It also might have something to do with how Philos was made, as both MC and Xavier acknowledge that the planet is dying.

The MC mentions that Xavier leaves her a lot but always comes back within a specified time frame. He goes on expeditions into Deepspace, but never tells MC what he is looking for and we as a reader do not learn. He does, however, mention finding a newborn planet filled with flowers and offers to take MC there if she will give up on being a knight. She is confused, as her entire life's purpose has been to be his knight, and doesn't fully comprehend a world where Xavier isn't going to be king.

But the card story starts with MC being crowned Queen, with Xavier as her Grandis knight, so we know that's what will happen. So neither of them got what they wanted in the end.

The "Lightseeker" title of Xavier's card refers to a unit of knights that are commanded by the Crown Prince and answer only to the royal family. Their duty is to keep Philos safe from Wanderers, much like the modern day Hunter's Association. Both the MC and Xavier are training to become Lightseekers, and have a sort of rivalry for the spot. MC keeps beating Xavier when they spar but he seems to have the stronger Evol so they're quite equally matched. It's stupid cute how everyone but Jeremiah thinks they hate each other, speaking of which:

Jeremiah is a friend of MC's in the same class as her. He's also her wingman who keeps trying to help set her and Xavier up, something Xav doesn't seem fully aware of. He's stupid jealous of their friendship which Jeremiah seems to find really funny (he's the only one who knows how delulu they are for each other and seems to find a lot of enjoyment in teasing them.)

Jeremiah also ends up being a knight under MC's command after they graduate the academy. Xavier however... goes missing after a meeting with his father and does not reappear even after he dies. He is missing for a period of 200 years until MC finds him again in the same forest that his Galdius Ceremony took place in. He saves her from... something. An illusion? A cosmic vortex? Whatever it was Xavier has discovered something that affects the health of people's hearts. And he seems determined to not get close to MC or let MC get close to him because of it.

I think it might just be because she is about to die from her disease, which she doesn't seem aware she has but always does, and Xavier doesn't want to have to watch her die again. But I haven't finished the card yet so I don't know.

He also seems to be under the impression the whole world is going to end now, and not just Philos.

The last thing we need to take from all of this information about Philos is the existence of a group called the Backtrackers. Xavier was with them once, but he isn't anymore. MC was seemingly under their care and, according to his Passing By anecdote, traveled through the Deepspace Tunnel with them but was lost. I'll explain more about what I think about them now that we're ready to return to the present timeline, but just know that the Backtrackers are A) from the Philos timeline and B) likely immortal just like Xavier is.

Back to the Present

In Chapter 8 you are either introduced or re-introduced to Jeremiah, who now owns a flower shop called Philo, likely named after his home planet of Philos. He is a friend of Xavier's and they both share the same current goals, which includes protecting the MC. Jer's job in this chapter is to provide MC with a fake identity to use in the N109 zone, but he does provide us with some information to try and tie up some loose ends with Xavier's timeline.

While the Nonintervention principal he refers to probably does have something to do with MC, it also likely just refers the fact that since both Xavier and Jeremiah are from Philos and therefore the future they are trying not to interfere with the timeline too much. Something that whoever blew up MC's house does not care about anymore, implying that if that was indeed Onychinus then we can assume they likely are also immortals from Philos who want MC and her Aether core for something.

When MC finds Xavier again after his 200 year disappearing act he is leading a squad of Lightseekers from various units. I think these are probably the Backtrackers, and that there was a split in the group after the MC and the Aether core went missing during their journey into the Deepspace Tunnel. We know that at least Xavier has been here longer than the Deepspace Tunnel has been, but there is room for speculation around Jeremiah and the others. As Pirate again pointed out in the comments, whatever disaster during the travel the Backtrackers took into the Deepspace Tunnel likely caused them to arrive at a bunch of different points in time.

While this confirms that Xavier and Jeremiah are not from this timeline it raises a lot of questions about MC. Her memory is constantly spotty, and I had wondered if that had something to do with the Aether core... but now.

With the way Xavier tries to limit his interactions with her and says he's the last person who should be trying to get close to her I wonder if Xavier is worried MC is being erased from time? Or if she belongs to this timeline so while he loves her, while he wants to be the one she chooses, he subconsciously knows he's from a doomed timeline and therefore unable to stay with her. This also raises questions about the other two love interests; we know MC has forgotten things about Rafayel and I theorized she has forgotten something about Zayne. Is this because they also don't belong? Does MC not belong? Or is it something related to the trauma MC experienced from being experimented on?

TL;DR

This was all pretty complicated so I thought I would sum up the basic points because I felt a bit incoherent.

Xavier is the Crown Prince of Philos, a future version of Earth that was created by replacing Earth's core with a fake one.

This fake core allowed the citizens of Philos to live forever unless they had the rare heart condition know as Protocore Syndrome, something the MC always has no matter how many times she is reborn.

The cure to Protocore Syndrome is a rare Protocore that Xavier tries to get for her but gets back with too late. He watches her die and while he was already shown dislike seeing her injured, this seems to turn it into a genuine trauma of his. He is shown to be deeply distraught seeing her gravely injured or sick in multiple moments/dates and is determined to take care of her. In a rare decision by the writers, this does not appear to manifest itself as a desire to not see her engage in combat as he trusts her ability to take care of herself, just maybe not her willingness.

MC is reborn and begins military training with Xavier intending to become his knight, but Xavier refuses to take the throne of Philos for reasons he does not share with MC. He also begins disappearing for long periods of time on journeys into space. On one of these journeys he finds a young planet filled with flowers and attempts to convince MC to elope with him and abandon her dreams of being a knight. He seems uncertain if MC's desire to be with him is just because she has been told she is to be his knight or if it is because she genuinely loves him; Xavier knows which one he wants it to be though.

After talking with his father he disappears for 200 years and founds a group of knights investigating a forest with an unstable Protofeild where killed Wanderers simply don't stay dead. It is my theory that these are the Backtrackers mentioned by past MC, Jeremiah, and Xavier.

Xavier arrives in this current timeline in year 1834. Other immortals from Philos begin to arrive in the current timeline at different points and agree upon something they call the Nonintervention Principal, likely to keep from destroying the spacetime continuum too much. What they are refusing to intervene in is unclear.

The Backtrackers made a journey through the Deepspace Tunnel with future past MC and an Aether core, but something goes wrong and she disappears. Xavier has been waiting to see her again ever since he got here, and intends to wait forever.

There are more immortals than just Xavier and Jeremiah living in Current Timeline Linkon City, some of which are very likely allied with Onychinus and searching for the MC. Why is related to the Aether core in her heart, but might also have something to do with her Evol.

It is my personal belief that many of these citizens of Philos used to be in the Backtrackers, but even if they didn't they see Xavier as a traitor to his people and more importantly to them. Why is unclear, but I imagine it might be because of their goals for the MC and her Aether core. In a broader sense it might be because they intend to do something to current earth to save their home, and Xavier disagrees with that but the two things do not seem mutually exclusive.

Earth and Philos are about to be in very close alignment, and both Xavier and Jeremiah expect something bad to happen around that time.

Final Thoughts

I would be interested in knowing the direct Chinese translation of these particular lines from precious bonfire to see if there is any difference to them... but honestly this is one of the things that sold me on him. She dies and he follows the traces of her light until he finds her again, and he tries to keep her alive but he fails and so he follows her again.

I saw at least one post wondering of Xavier will betray MC and rip the Aether core out of her heart, and I want to clear that up here. I understand why people might think this if they haven't read any of his anecdotes but no, that's not going to happen unless it's the only way to save MC's life. Xavier very much wants to keep MC alive, his efforts to distance himself and withhold information from her are always done to serve that goal.

Rafayel is the one who has a pretty good reason to want to cut out MC's heart, not Xavier. And I do mean good reason I don't really hate him for it and am not trying to imply he's a bad character or a bad romance option for it.

One of Xavier's immortal friends is name Noah. There is always a chance that this is a coincidence, but there's a part of me that wonders if he shares the same name as Dr Noah because they are the same person. The anecdote he appears in involves Xavier getting him a new identity so I don't think they're likely to be related.

I actually really like MC , Xavier, and Jeremiah's friendship and sort of hope it gets some focus in some small way in the future. Jer and Xav had to have bonded over losing MC, not to mention Jeremiah spent 200 years fighting Wanderers with MC under her command. She talks about him as being her best friend!!! I want to see more of him!!! (if he doesn't have a partner and if I can't have Tara x Jenna I should be allowed Tara x Jeremiah)

I'm worried there might be a plot point that involves Xavier dying in the future and then maybe we get to meet a different timeline version of him and end up on the opposite side of the "can't tell this ghost wearing your face how I really feel" spectrum.

Speaking of which I like how Xav seems to respect MC's current life and doesn't expect her to be a carbon copy of her past selves. It's nice (stares at critically acclaimed mmorpg villain Emet Selch)

Anyway that's it. I'll update the post when I finish the Myths card, which I fully expect to make me cry like a baby. If anything confused you my askbox is open, just because I write for twst doesn't mean I am not open to talking about this if I made mistakes or if you feel like any of this was unclear.

[sissylittlefeather]

I finally finished it...

It Feels So Right (how can it be wrong?): Part 4

A/N: Here is the long-awaited final chapter of the Austin/Ghost!Elvis x reader mini series! This one was very hard to figure out how to end it, but this was the only way I could make it work the way I wanted it to. Hopefully you enjoy it and it doesn't disappoint too much!

A HUGE shout out and thank you to @ccab and @atleastpleasetelephone. I could not have managed this one without both of you!! 🩷🩷

Need to catch up? Masterlist HERE.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI AT ALL, cussing, kissing, fingering, oral sex (both receiving), penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie(s), MMF threesome, Elvis calls himself "daddy" again, oh and death

Word count: ~3.4k

"I love you." Your mouth pops open and you're not sure what to say. Well, you know exactly what to say, but it doesn't seem like there's any point to it. Surely, when you leave here, you won't be able to see him anymore and then what? You can't pick him. You know it and he knows it. Still, you hear yourself whisper to him.

"I love you too."

******

You lay there with Elvis for a good long while, just enjoying the feeling of being together. He's so warm wrapped around you as you run your fingers over his chest hair. You talk about everything and nothing and he kisses your forehead periodically. Laughter comes easily and the idea of leaving him feels impossible.

Still, you know the Graceland people will come looking for you soon. The sun is beginning to set and you've already pushed the boundaries by coming in without them. They'll have to do the photo shoot with Austin tomorrow.

"Elvis... I have to go."

"Please, doll. Just five more minutes." He squeezes you and presses his lips to your fingers. You lay there for a few more minutes, but you're nervous to be found like this. Eventually, you pull his mouth to yours and then stand up, gathering your clothes. Elvis sits up and watches you, sighing deeply. Once you're dressed, he pulls you into his lap and kisses you one last time. He presses his forehead to yours and whispers.

"I'll never forget this, honey. And I'll always love you. If you decide you want him, I'll understand. But just know, I'll still be here loving you." You nod, unable to make words with the lump in your throat. Finally, you pull yourself away and stand up. You make your way up the staircase and Elvis doesn't follow you. He sits with his head in his hands wondering why he ever thought it was a good idea to leave Graceland in the first place.

When you get back upstairs to where Austin is waiting, he's asleep on the couch in the living room. He's almost angelic in his sleep, and you hate to wake him up, but you know you both need to leave, and soon.

"Austin? Come on, babe, wake up." You shake his shoulder gently and he stirs, blinking up at you.

"Oh... hi. Everything... go okay?" He doesn't really want to know, but he asks anyway.

"Yeah. We need to go, though. It's getting dark." He nods and sits up, running his hand through his hair.

"Where is he?"

"He stayed downstairs." You try not to think of your last image of him, his sad eyes round and blue and glassy with tears.

"Oh..." You walk to the front door and open it, your heart breaking when you cross the threshold. It's highly probable you will never see Elvis again.

People around you talk to Austin, but it feels like you're underwater. You go through the motions of existing until you finally get in the car to head to your hotel.

******

In the car, Austin takes your hand and watches you, concerned.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. It's just hard to leave him, y'know?" Austin nods.

"Was that what it was? You leaving him?" He tries to keep the hopefulness out of his voice, but he doesn't really succeed.

"I mean, it has to be, doesn't it? We can't continue like this, not now."

"I guess not. I suppose you're stuck with me by default." You look up at him and he keeps his eyes on the road, trying not to let you see how much it bothers him. You squeeze his hand and press a kiss to his knuckles.

"No, Austin. It's not like that. I'm very happy with you." He turns to you with a sad smile.

"Really? Because I promise I'll take care of you. I know I'm not him, but I'll love you the best way I know how." Your heart softens and you start to think you'll be okay without Elvis.

"Oh, babe. You're amazing. And I love you too." You mean it, for the most part. You'll always love Elvis, but Austin is alive. There's really not much of a choice to be made. He smiles and kisses the back of your hand.

This could work.

******

Back at the hotel, you crawl into bed with Austin, both of you too emotionally exhausted to do anything more than cuddle and sleep. The next day, he goes back to the mansion to do the photo shoot and you stay in the room. Even if you could see Elvis again, what would you say?

No. It's better for you to just stay in the room and cry. Maybe you'll be able to get out all your sadness by the time Austin comes back.

Elvis is surprised to see Austin by himself. He tries to leave him alone during the photo shoot- he knows what it means to be working. But as soon as it's done, he has to ask.

"Where is she?"

"She wanted to stay in the room."

"She didn't want to see me?" Austin looks around to see if anyone is watching and then looks directly at Elvis.

"Elvis, man, what did you think was gonna happen? I'm sorry. I really am. I think she really loves you, but it has to be this way. I'm sorry." Elvis nods.

"No, I understand. Just... take good care of her. Please." Austin nods.

"I will. She's in good hands; I promise."

"You think you can handle the rest of the movie yourself? I think I'm gonna stay here."

"Yeah, man, it's almost over. I got this." Elvis tries to smile and someone calls for Austin. They share an understanding nod that seems to mean 'goodbye' and then Austin heads out.

Elvis watches him walk away and then decides to go to the hotel. He didn't realize the goodbye yesterday was goodbye forever. He needs to see you one last time, even if you can't see him.

******

You're laying in bed in nothing but your bathrobe with a nearly-empty bottle of wine watching some stupid movie on tv when Elvis appears. You just got out of the shower, so your hair is wet and he's dying to touch you. He watches you for a bit before walking over to the bed. His intention is to look at you, say goodbye, and be gone, but that's not what happens.

"Elvis!?!" You look up at him shocked and sit up in the bed.

"You can see me?!"

"Yes!" He laughs and throws himself on the bed next to you. You crawl over to him and into his lap, giggling like a fool. He holds you and you're lost in a cascade of kisses when Austin opens the door.

"Oh, shit. I'm sorry..." He stands there and the two of you freeze and look at him. "Wait. She can still see you?!"

"Yeah. I can." You answer him tentatively, your arms still around Elvis. The two of you unwrap yourselves and stand up next to the bed. Austin looks at you, completely at a loss.

"So does this mean... you pick him?" You look at Elvis. Just because you can see him doesn't mean this relationship is any more plausible than before. He's still dead. You look back at Austin. He's alive and he loves you. The wine makes your head foggy and you're not sure what to say.

"No? Yes? I don't know."

"Those are your three options, yes." Austin adds sarcastically. He's not exactly pleased to see Elvis with you again. Elvis's eyes narrow. He feels like he has a real shot now and he's not going to let Austin take it away from him. You sense the tension in the room and search your tipsy brain for how you can possibly decide. Austin is sweet and funny... and alive. Elvis is... Elvis. How on earth will you choose? You giggle a little at the thought of having them both forever. Too bad you can't have them at the same time. That would be fun. And then it dawns on you: maybe you can. Is it ridiculous? Probably. But you're just drunk enough to think it's not the worst idea.

"Wait a minute guys." They both look at you, eager to hear what you have to say next. "Do you know what I do when I can't pick a pair of shoes?"

They look at each other incredulously. What on earth are you talking about? Austin answers your question.

"No? What do you do?" A sly smile spreads across your face.

"I try them both on. At the same time." Elvis speaks this time.

"Honey? What are you... oh." It dawns on him what you're saying and he looks at Austin nervously.

"I don't understand." Austin stands with his hands on his hips, not sure what to make of the situation.

"She wants to try us on... at the same time..." Realization flashes on Austin's face and he looks at you shocked.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying?!"

"If you think I'm saying that I want you both together, then you're right." Austin shakes his head and Elvis looks at you with his eyes wide.

"Why, doll?"

"It's a gut check. I'll figure out what to do in the process."

"What if you don't?" Austin asks.

"I will. Don't worry about that." There's an awkward silence as the two men contemplate your proposal. "Listen, I'll direct traffic so you don't have to worry about getting too close to each other. I just need to see which one of you is right."

All of a sudden, Elvis looks at Austin with a determined stare. He's not going to give you up so easily.

"I say we do it." He mutters. But Austin is not one to back down from a challenge.

"I'm down." You look between them and roll your eyes.

"Boys. I'm over here. Stop glaring at each other and look at me." They both turn and look at you, their faces softening. "Come here."

You sit on the side of the bed and pat the mattress on either side of you. Elvis sits on your left and Austin on your right. You lean in and kiss Elvis first and then turn to Austin and do the same. At first, they each bristle with envy, but the fact that you're sleeping with both of them is not breaking news.

Elvis relaxes significantly when your hand finds his cock while you kiss Austin. You turn back to Elvis and your other hand palms Austin over his pants. While Elvis has his tongue in your mouth, Austin lifts his shirt and pulls it off over his head. He unzips his pants and pulls his dick out to give you easier access to pump him. Not one to be outdone, Elvis has his jacket and shirt off in no time. He hesitates to whip his cock out, though. You sense his apprehension and stand up, sinking to your knees between his thighs. Austin watches as you pull Elvis's dick out and drag his pants down his legs and off with his shoes.

"Just a minute, baby." You look up at Austin as he stands up off the bed and then sits on the floor behind you. He lays down and scoots up under you. "Help me out, man."

Elvis understands what he's trying to do and removes your robe, leaving you naked. Austin grabs your thighs and pulls your pussy down to his mouth.

"Oh fuck." You moan, your head on Elvis's thigh. Then, you remember what you're doing and pull Elvis's cock into your mouth. He groans and leans his head backwards as you start to suck him off, bouncing your mouth on him while Austin licks and sucks your clit. You'd moan again, but your mouth is full of Elvis's dick. Still, the vibrations hit his shaft as you open your throat and take him as deep as he'll go. At the same time, Austin is eating your pussy like his life depends on it. He pushes the tip of his tongue into your slit and then moves back to your swollen bud, licking hard over it.

You've never cum with a dick in your mouth, but it seems like you're about to as your orgasm gathers in your hips while you continue to move your tongue on Elvis's cock. Elvis holds your hair and lifts his hips, thrusting into your mouth as your climax approaches. Austin can tell you're about to cum, so he slides two of his long fingers up inside you. He uses his other hand to stroke himself, your arousal almost pushing him to the edge. Finally, your release pounds you from every direction and the waves of pleasure run up and down your spine, crackling out to your fingertips and back again. You hold Elvis still as you ride out your high with your mouth stuffed with him. He strokes your hair affectionately and watches you as you cum. It's a beautiful sight, you in ecstasy with your mouth wrapped around him. When you finally come down, you pull off of him to breathe for a bit, using your hand to pump him, sliding his foreskin back and forth.

"God, Austin..." You pant, trying to steady yourself.

Austin scoots out from under you and wipes his face with his hand. Your legs shake, but you stand up and face away from Elvis towards Austin. Elvis grabs your hips and pulls you down into his lap, sliding his dick into you slowly. A soft moan falls from your lips as the sensation of being filled washes over you. You put your hands on his knees and grind backwards against him, desperate to push him even deeper. He groans loudly as you move on him. Austin takes a step forward and you slip your mouth around his cock, pulling him deep into your throat. Elvis's hands grasp your hips as he bounces you on his dick and Austin's hands are in your hair as you suck him. Both men finally let go of any apprehension or nerves and begin to moan and whimper as you work them with the different parts of your body. Elvis stands up without pulling out and reaches around with one hand to massage your clit as he pounds you from behind.

"Come on, honey. Cum for daddy." Elvis says, his voice barely above a harsh whisper. You try to continue sucking Austin's cock, but what Elvis is doing is very distracting. You have to pull off of Austin for just a bit as another orgasm snaps in your hips, running through your veins like a freight train. Elvis grunts as you cum on his dick, the feeling of you pulsing and shuddering around him almost pushing him over the edge. "Yeah baby. That's it, doll."

"Trade?" Austin looks at Elvis pleadingly, almost begging for his turn to fuck you. Elvis nods and pulls out of you, tapping on your ass to indicate that you should move. You turn and Elvis sits back down on the bed while you take him in your mouth again. He's so close to cumming that he's afraid he might explode then and there. Austin takes hold of your hips and pushes into you, groaning deeply. It takes you a second to adjust to Austin's bigger dick and he knows that. Then, he begins to fuck into you and his orgasm gathers at the base of his dick quickly.

"I'm gonna cum, doll." Elvis whispers breathlessly. He's trying desperately to hold back, but the feeling of your warm little mouth on his cock is almost too much.

"Me too." Austin moans loudly with the satisfaction of finally feeling you around him. You're so tight that it takes everything in him not to cum as soon as he's inside you. Both men are painfully close to an orgasm and you're not doing anything to stop them. Austin loses control first, groaning and slamming his hips into your ass one last time, filling you with his warmth as his dick throbs inside you. As soon as he's finished, he pulls out of you and you climb onto Elvis and straddle him, sinking onto his cock. It doesn't take but maybe two thrusts for him to cum too, emptying himself inside you as he grunts loudly.

You're not exactly sure how it happens, but you find yourself laying on the bed on your back between them, all of you breathing heavily and trying to recover from what just happened. Your pussy aches in the best way possible and you can't help wishing this could happen again. It was everything you ever dreamed it would be and more.

"So?" Austin turns and looks at you on the bed, his hair wet with sweat. You look at him, blue eyes eager to know your answer. Then you turn and look at Elvis. His eyes are softer, more understanding. He knows the answer and so do you. But you're not quite ready to say it yet.

"I need to drive." You stand up, quickly pulling on clothes, and Austin follows you.

"What?"

"I need... I just need a minute. Where are the rental keys?" He tosses them to you from where they were sitting on the table. "I'll be right back."

Not a single one of you registers how much you've had to drink.

******

You blink your eyes a few times and then pull yourself out of the car. The last thing you remember is trying to figure out how you were going to tell Austin that you want Elvis. But it's not just that you want him. You need him. He's the one you love with everything inside you and you know it's going to kill Austin. But why is that the last thing you remember?

You look back at the twisted metal that used to be the car and the ambulances and fire trucks and police cars. It's on its top and crushed beyond recognition and you're not sure how you got out alive. You walk up to one of the police officers.

"I can't believe I made it out of there." But he doesn't respond. In fact, it's like he doesn't even hear you. You snap in front of his face a couple of times. Nothing.

That's when you see it: your body on a stretcher. You run over to where the EMTs are trying desperately to revive you. But you know it won't work. You're already here, like this. You look around frantically trying to assess if you're the only one in this state, but there's not another car. Whatever you did, you did it all by yourself.

You've always been one to roll with the punches, but this catches you off guard. You're dead.

And then it hits you.

You're dead.

And so is Elvis.

******

Your funeral is a surreal experience. You're there with Elvis and the only one who can see you is Austin. It breaks your heart to watch everyone mourn, especially your mom and sister, but you're weirdly content. Elvis has his arm around your waist and he kisses your hair gently.

"I know it's hard, doll. But you'll get used to it." You turn to face him and he presses his lips to yours gently.

"It's not as hard as it should be. I have you and that's all I really wanted anyway. I do feel bad for Austin, though." You look back at the funeral proceedings.

Austin hasn't been able to see anything beyond your casket. But after that's in the ground, he walks over to where you and Elvis stand under a tree.

"So you guys are just happily ever after now, aren't you?"

"Kinda, yeah. I'm really sorry."

"No, it's not like you did it on purpose. But I have to know. Were you gonna pick him anyway?" You hesitate for a second and then decide the truth is best.

"Yeah. I was." Austin nods his head, defeated. He looks back at the funeral.

"I guess this is for the best then. I just wish..." He stops mid sentence and you follow his eye line. He's staring at your sister.

"Y/n. Why didn't you tell me you have a twin?"

"You never asked." He turns and looks at you.

"What's she like?!" She's not too much like you, so you're not sure he should get his hopes up.

"She's an actress. Not really anything like me. Much more serious and focused and oh..." His eyes light up and you smile.

"Can I...?"

"Yes! Go!" He tries to remember he's supposed to be sad, but it's hard when he can still see you. Still, he's an amazing actor, so he rearranges his face and walks back down to the crowd. You watch as he introduces himself to your sister.

Elvis chuckles softly and wraps himself around you from behind. He kisses your ear and whispers.

"You ready to go home, doll?" You nod.

"Yeah. Let's go home."

And you spend the rest of your time together at Graceland, both of you satisfied to have found in death what you never had in life: each other.

******

The End

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist:

@atleastpleasetelephone @returntopresley @msamarican @ccab @elvisfatass @elvisalltheway101 @aliypop @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @tacozebra051 @your-nanas-house @deniseinmn @joshuntildawn13 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @louisejoy86 @rjmartin11 @from-memphis-with-love @deltafalax @cinnamoroll-things @burnthheparaphilia @jhoneybees @cattcb @everythingelvispresley

[bestofmultiverse]

I see heaven (crush me)

Chapter 1: I'm a masochist , rip out my guts. (Crush - Fletcher)

Words : 6k +

read on ao3

My calex account- @calex-in-subtext

Casey was stressed, to say a least, it wasn't even the end of the first week of her Harvard college career and she was already STRESSED

In between softball (thank's god for the existence of scholarships), her tons of homework (literally, it's been a week??) and her ability to get lost everywhere because her sense of direction is crap.

She was stressed.

The redhead ran, not walked, RAN to her next class, Criminal Law and Procedure, in the speed of light, already 10 minutes late into her first class in this course and she was dreading it.

Professor cabot wasn't known for being forgiving, probably the reason she was called 'the ice queen' behind her back

Casey walked into the room, finally, hoping to not get too much attention by either her professor or peers, but just for her luck, she got into the room just in the middle of the blonde's interdiction, and got herself a good understanding why everyone else were terrified by the woman.

The woman was gorgeous, like in a sculpture kind of way, high cheekbones, blue eyes and blonde hair in a neat updo.

Casey was terrified.

The blonde's head shot to the door the moment she heard it opening.

If looks could kill cassandra novak would've been dead, she was absolutely certain.

"Give me one reason why should i let you into my class"

The professor said. Not a hint of warmth in her tone.

Shit.

"Im sorry, i got lost on the way here" casey explained, eyes wide open.

She was grateful her voice didn't crack.

"It wont happen again"

Professed cabot looked at casey momentarily, seems to try and decide how to proceed before she looked at the other students.

"As i was saying, before you interrupted, there's a few things i will not tolerate, and lateness is definitely standing somewhere in the top of the list.

Can you guess why's that? If you'll answer correctly i might let you into the class"

The Professor said.

Casey looked at her classmates desperately.

"Because it's disrespectful?"

She asked

The blonde stared at her for a second longer before she she fixed her glasses on her nose and looked at another student, a short haired brunette on the first row.

"Miss benson"

The pretty looking brunette looked at Casey with a small knowing smirk.

Oh no,

Casey thought.

"Because, as lawyers, time's meaning is crucial especially in court."

Professor Cabot nodded at the brunette before looking back at casey. Who was busy glaring at her peer.

"And rightfully so. 10 minutes late might be the line between a criminal's conviction to freedom."

Casey gulped.

"What's your name?"

"Casey- Cassandra novak" casey said

The professor nodded curtly

"Miss novak. You should take this little chat into consideration, i will see you next class, hopefully on time"

Casey's eyebrows farrowed in frustration, she huffed before nodding at her professor and leaving the class, half embarrassed, half annoyed and mostly frustrated.

What the hell is wrong with this woman.

How is she supposed to get the homework she will surly miss. She knows absolutely no one in this class.

After taking a stroll around the campus for 30 more minutes she decided to go back to class, her classmates will be finishing their class and she might get to talk to one of them and catch up with the class.

Professor cabot didn't deem like the kind of woman to forgive missing out on school work and god bless Casey's soul she both wanted to get good grades, and desperately needed to pass this class if she wanted to be an attorney.

Unfortunately for casey, most her peers had already left the class and the others wouldn't bother to even look in her direction.

Assholes.

So she put on her big girls pants and walked back into the classroom she noticed that the professor was occupied in a conversation with a few students, one of them was the brunette from earlier, something benson, so she waited on the side. Not interrupting their ass kissing session.

When the three students left the room, they passed by casey, the brunette scanning her over with a judgmental smile

That damn bitch, casey thought

"Miss novak"

Casey looked away from the smirking brunette to meet blue eyes.

The blonde's stare was intimidating and casey felt herself shrinking, trying to keep herself upright under her gaze.

"Yes, i don't want to bother you on your break i just wanted to see what i missed in class"

The professor nodded at her before taking a piece of sheet from a drawer and handing it over to her.

"Not much material, just the syllabus and the class expectations, luckily for you, you didn't miss much.

I believe you learned from your mistake?"

The blonde gaze pierced casey, and as intimidating it was, she somehow managed to fond the woman a bit impressing.

A real fucking lawyer.

"It won't happen again" casey said with confidence.

Trying to make it look as if she wasn't just silently praying that this whole ordeal will end.

Casey was genuinely a pretty punctual person, and a damn good student, and she needed this cold, hard demeanor professor to know that as well.

"Good" the blonde nodded at her as she fixed her black rimed glasses.

"Anything else?" She asked with a ghost of a knowing smile.

Or casey imagined.

"Nothing more, thank you" casey said politely and left the room.

--

It wasn't long since that first class before casey decided that she didn't actually hated Professor Cabot.

She wasn't the biggest fan of the woman, mostly because she didn't show many emotions- and it was weird, but was still desperately trying to stay on her better side, especially now that casey understood why benson and her friends tried to kiss the woman's ass.

After half an hour of internet stoking, she found out the professor wasn't just incredibly good at her teaching job, but she was also a damn good lawyer and apparently worked at some point alongside the police department to put the most horrible murderers and rapist behind bars with conviction rate of 97% .

Which was insane, that woman never lose.

Casey decided she wanted to be the top of her class, both because she needed to, and also she would've loved to see the look on benson's face when she will.

And maybe because she wanted the older woman's approval.

Unfortunately for casey, who grew up in a middle class family with 3 more siblings, she needed to work, hard in every aspect of life.

There was the fact she had other classes to drown at (and work hard to keep herself at the top), she had softball practices that kicked her ass multiple times a week- and thankfully so because that was the reason she even got a scholarship in the first place.

And on top of this she also had a few shifts a week, making coffee and get embarrassed by doing so to her classmates, that probably never worked for a living a day in their lives, and even a few professors.

Never professor cabot. Tho.

She was exhausted and it's been 3 months into the school year.

On the brighter side of things, casey's roommate george was a sweetheart.

They rented a small (so small) apartment near campus, and it was by far the favorite experience she had in college aside from softball.

After the two officially finished their last test for the quarter , they desperately wanted to do something fun

Plus, her softball teammates kept nagging her about not going to their parties.

And that's how casey found herself spending her Thursday evening getting drunk in some party of someone she knew absolutely nothing about,

although she had classes the next day, they weren't morning classes and she was absolutely optimistic she will manage to get there.

Unfortunately for casey, she forgot how easy it was for her to get drunk, and she got hammered. Hard. And it happened way too earlier than excruciating so it wasn't even 12 am and she was already hammered outside the party, smoking a cigarette and wondering how the fuck she was getting back home.

George, god bless his soul, was having the time of his life, flirting his way into some closeted fratboy pants and her softball friends were chugging on beers and making out with strangers (and each other) without a care in the world.

10 minutes later casey decided she wasn't feeling it anymore, and decided to start the 15 minute walk back to her place so she could , hopefully, sleep the alcohol off.

And so it happens that in the same neighborhood her friends were celebrating their youth, a few blocks away, a certain blonde professor was getting out of a fancy jeep, and being kissed by another.

Casey was trying not to stare, fucking really, but you have to understand,

Casey was very drunk

Like, VERY

And even if professor cabot could've been terrifying, she was a beautiful woman, especially now, in a tight blue dress, hair falling on her shoulders and long, long legs in sight, and especially kissing a woman.

Unfortunately for casey, as much as she would want to say how charming she is, dashing and even mysterious, she was pissed out her mind.

Therefore, right when the stranger was going to deepen the kiss, casey found herself falling down, hands down, and basically smeared on the floor.

A groggy "aw" leaving her mouth,

Alex broken the kiss in a second and looked away from her date, to find not far away from her, a familiar face, pushing herself back up, as if she didn't just fell down and not just scratched both her hands and knees but also hit her face.

Now, as comically it might sound (and it does) that shit hurt like a bitch, and casey was mortified when she looked at her bloody hands.

Her nose was bleeding.

"Miss novak, is that you?"

Casey froze

Oh fuck.

The brunette looked at her date confused

"You know her?"

"A student of mine, i had a lovely evening. will you excuse me?" She hurriedly said to her date, before the other woman could even respond the blonde was already marching towards the drunk woman.

"Are you alright?" The blonde asked softly, worried.

Casey didn't know what she was expecting, definitely not the softness of alex cabot's hands on her cheek, observing her face worriedly.

"Peachy"

It was definitely not.

"I think you broke your nose" alex said

"No shit" casey muttered

"What did you say?"

Alex wasn't even mad, she could see the woman wasn't just drunk but also in absolute shock so she let it slide.

Casey was a good girl after all.

And also, alex figured it was the shock from the fall,

Casey wouldn't admit for the world but the biggest shock was still the sight of her professor in this damn dress.

"Nothing,

i should go"

The redhead said hurriedly before trying to escape the scene.

"You need to see a doctor" alex said and casey eyes widened

"No no I'm fine its just a scratch"

"Cassandra your nose is broken"

Casey heart flutter

Cassandra was indeed her name, as her ID could prove, but she was never called cassandra by anyone who wasn't her mother when she got angry.

Alex saying her name unlocked a weird flutter in her stomach.

"Come, ill give you a ride, i don't trust that you'll be smart enough to get there on your own"

"Im smart, i have the best grades in your class" casey argued cockily and alex rolled her eyes half heartedly

"Lets go novak, we don't have the whole night"

The ER wasn't very full, luckily for the pair- that genuinely looked out if place, alex with a beautiful evening dress and casey with a small party top- so the all ordeal hadn't taken long.

The redhead sobered up, alex made her drink as much water she could physically absorb, the redhead took each one of the cups with bravery even when she felt she might vomit. (She was also terrified of eye contact with the older woman)

"Cassandra novak"

The nurse called and casey got up.

She hated doctors and the thought of going in alone terrified her - she was obviously not going yo asked her professor to come in with her- and alex picked on that up pretty quickly so she got up as well.

Giving the younger woman an encouraging smile.

"As fast as we'll go in, the fest you'll be out of there"

Alex said confidently before walking towards the doctor's office.

Alex was right.

of course.

At the end of it, hours afterwards casey found herself asleep in alex's passenger sit, bandaged on her nose and hands - who apparently suffered a lot as well, and a few marvel band aids scattered on her knees.

She was a sight. Alex decided.

If you'd ask the older woman, she wouldn't admit it, but that evening was probably the first time she got to look at the other woman properly, and even with a fucked up bloody nose and scratched, she had to admit that cassandra novak was indeed a pretty woman.

She also got to see the younger woman in a different light,

They were obviously still very much in the professor student territory, but alex couldn't be apathetic to the younger woman distress and it showed.

She even held casey's hand for a few seconds as the doctor treated her nose.

Casey looked like she might faint by the gesture.

Alex never wanted to see casey in this state again.

She never wanted people to suffer, not including actual bad people, but this time it felt different.

Alex told herself that it's because cassandra novak was her favorite student, not that she'll ever admit that to anyone, and not because she looked vulnerable and she wanted to keep her safe from harm.

Casey was still passed out, and alex was overthinking as usual - And then they arrived to casey's apartment.

Alex tried not to wrinkle her nose when she looked around, she knew she had expensive taste, she could afford it even if she wasn't working, with her family's fortune, but she still found the area a bit alarming and she wasn't thrilled being there - or dropping casey's there.

(The neighborhood was okay, decent looking, alex was just being a spoiled brat.)

Thankfully for alex, casey woke up when the car stopped, because god save the older's woman anxiety, she had no idea how to wake casey up without making this a lot more awkward for both.

She already felt like she crossed a line when she held her hand in the ER.

"Thank you, honestly, it's embarrassing you had to see me going through that. Let along had to go through it with me, im sorry for ruining your.. um evening.. , and um, thanks again"

Casey was biting her lip awkwardly, cheeks red.

She looked cute.

Alex noticed casey's tone change slightly as she said evening, she was going to say something else, for certain.

Date.

Alex should text her date, apologize for hurrying off.

She would've probably be in a very different situation with a very different woman if casey wasn't there.

Sadly she couldn't get herself to be bothered by that as much as she probably should be.

"Im glad i was there, nothing to apologize for cassandra, i promise." The blonde said. She let herself smile at casey, not for the first time tonight, she found it a bit hard to hide and it was only the two of them, so they'll be alright.

Casey smiled brightly- then winced because her nose was kicking her ass, before she got out of the car.

"Good night, see you tomorrow"

"Don't come to class tomorrow, im giving you a pass, cassandra. Ill email you the homework, just use this long weekend to rest and take your antibiotics, good night"

Alex said before driving away.l

Casey smiled softly to herself.

--

Casey did went to class the day afterwards, and obviously a few classmates just had to share a joke or two (olivia fucking benson) but overall she managed.

It was all worth it when she saw alex looking at her, half surprised- half impressed, from behind her black glasses.

A while had passed since that evening and apart from people genuinely laughing at casey's clumsiness nothing interesting happened afterwards .

Of course, no one knew the length of the situation, they all just knew she was clumsy and fell and went to the ER afterwards and that was it.

But casey couldn't forget that, as drunk as she was,

Alex was clearly a good person, and casey was genuinely surprised by the reaction she received by the professor- who could still terrify a whole class with one gaze- and in a way it made her feel better, knowing she got to see that different side of alex.

She didn't felt much different in class after that.

The professor acted as professional as always, but still casey noticed she started to look at the older woman differently.

And she felt the same from the older woman as well.

She found alex impressing since pretty early in her academic career, but now she found herself drawn to the older woman on a different level.

She wanted to get closer to her, literally, to sit first row in class, to have a conversation with her outside of class, even if its just 5 minutes and about homework, and to actually get to know her.

She even started coming to class a few minutes early just to catch alex's raised eyebrow and a small smile.

She was the only one to get these reactions, and it made her happy.

Sometimes they even engage in a random small talk.

( "How was your weekend?"

"Pretty decent, yours?

Its seems you had an interesting one"

Casey had a few scratches on her face

"Fell from a tree"casey explains as if it made sense

"Okay then" alex would've chucked.

Other times;

"Do you like books?"

"About law?.."

"No, books in general"

"I do, read a lot of fantasy, have a soft sport for harry potter"

"Make sense"

casey still have no idea if it was a good reaction

Their most remarkable before class conversation was they day casey walked in angry, 15 minutes before anyone arrived.

She was pissed and genuinely exhausted and sat quietly in her sit, alex who got used to seeing casey's cheery- almost bubbly smile- was taken back by that.

"What happened?" The blonde asked, she barely even looked at casey, her nose stuck in files.

"Everything fine"

"You're a horrible liar, cassandra"

Fuck off

"I don't feel like talking about it"

"I wont pressure you into talking, but i think you should"

Casey's eyes filled up with tears and she bit her lip to hold herself from breaking down.

"Just a huge blowout with my father, that catholic asshole"

Alex got up from her sit, files forgotten, and set next to casey, tissues in hand.

She was absolutely certain she knew the nature of the other woman's outburst

Alex didn't press, just put her hand on casey's shoulder, squeezing it softly a few times for comfort.

Casey looked at alex, green eyes bloody and dull, alex hated that.

"He disowned me, basically, he found out i liked a woman and it didn't go well" she chuckled darkly.

"He didn't even let me know that, he just stone cold shut me out, my mom haven't contacted me as well, i learned about that from my sister"

"Im so sorry casey, you don't deserve this."

Alex called casey by her name and casey was so occupied with her frustration that she couldn't even be bothered about it.

No one deserves to be treated this way, regardless of their sexual preference or orientation, and alex felt so mad about that.

Alex was lucky, She knew, her parents were accepting when she came out to them.

Partly because they didn't have much choice, She was an only daughter- their legacy, And generally their biggest achievement (her mom's words, not hers)

Casey sniffled and used alex's tissue to get rid of the tears that managed to escape.

"I have nobody"

Im here. Aren't i?

"That's not true, you are loved Cassandra, by people that deserve having you in their lives"

Casey smiled at her softly

"I have a candy somewhere, i think sugar will do some good" alex said and got up.

Casey missed her comforting touch the moment the blonde broke it.

Maybe alex felt it too, because when she returned with a pack of gam she set next to casey again. And onto her hand in a comforting manner.

They stayed like these, talking quietly, until they heard the door open and burst their bubble)

At some point casey found herself genuinely attracted to the woman.

Both on an intellectual level and physically.

It wasn't even surprising to her, the blonde woman was always beautiful in her book, but after seeing the woman in a different light ( and also that fucking dress ) she couldn't shake the thought of the older woman in a different scenarios.

Some more appropriate than others.

A few more months had passed and Casey found herself at the last exams of the year, And also days before the last softball game of the season.

Casey was nervous, she was still the newest blood on the team, and she felt she had a lot to prove, especially to the seniors- who deserved to finished their college career as champions, so she found hers working herself off on both fields and on too of that a worked weekends.

unfortunately for casey she was only human and started to feel the impact of the unhealthy lifestyle she practiced.

Alex noticed all of that.

When casey walked into her morning class she looked like she might fall asleep at any single moment,

Surprisingly, casey managed to stay awake through the entire class - which was two hours long.

Every few minutes alex's eyes will subtly search for casey just to find her sitting upright, taking motes, dark circles under her eyes and pale looking.

When the class finished alex decided to take an approach.

She couldn't help it, really.

She was genuinely worried.

"Miss novak, a moment" alex said as everyone started to put their stuff away,

Casey was absolutely sure she hadn't spaced out during the lecture or forgot to submit some paper, yet she got a bit nervous.

Casey hated the fact the only time she got to see alex's different side was either in glimpses before class or in the fucking ER, she desperately wanted to actually spend time with the older woman and to have a real meaningful conversation with her

"Professor"

Casey said as she walked to the older woman.

The class was empty at this point.

Alex was wearing her hair down, like she did the night they went to the ER and it made casey smile softly, she looked flawless, really.

"How are you handling the stress?"

Alex asked kindly.

Casey didn't see that question coming

"Pardon?"

It was out before Casey's brain managed to comprehend what she was saying

Alex actually chuckled at that.

Not something drastic, but a chuckle nonetheless.

Casey chest felt warm.

"You're doing alright, with your exams? I've heard softball taking a lot of your energy as well"

Alex put her hand on casey's arm, casey decided this is her favorite thing alex did so far.

Especially because the older woman was known in being distant and cold towards most, yet her touch was soft and warm and made casey feel good.

"Yes, but i promise there's nothing to worry about, professor, I'm handling it"

Casey promised

She worked too hard to be where she was at and didn't want her favorite professor (and crush) to think she didn't care enough or put enough effort in her school work.

"I'm absolutely certain you do. I meant in general, I'm well aware there's a lot of stress on you"

Casey stared at alex surprised by her forwardness.

"You look exhausted, Cassandra, I'm a bit worried"

Casey smiled softly at Alex, and got a soft smile in return. Both women felt warm inside.

"Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm a bit behind on sleeping, but at least it's not in the material" she chuckled at her own horrible joke.

Alex squeezed casey's shoulder in encouragement

"You need to rest, its not healthy"

alex always knew this time of the year was stressful, And she saw how it affected students, hell, she was a professor for a while but she was a student as well once upon a time.

Even if she barely showed it, she cared for her students, and just maybe (Definitely), she cared for cassandra novak a little bit (a lot) more.

"I will sleep more, after the game this Friday." Casey promised with a smile.

"And eat"

Alex was absolutely certain the younger woman skipped a few meals, not purposely, but still.

Casey smiled widened, dimples and all.

"You really care" casey realized and alex blushed slightly . Cursing herself for it.

"I care for my students" alex explained and casey looked at her unconvinced

"Oh yes, you're known for this" casey joked

Alex raised her eyebrows knowingly, a mischievous smirk playing on painted lips.

"You should come to the game, i think you might enjoy it"

Alex was absolutely certain she would not- as a person who couldn't care less for sports.

"So i could take you the ER again if something go wrong?"

Only if you'd wear that dress again.

"Im good at softball"

"I once believed you'd be good in walking around the street as well, but look where we are"

Casey wholeheartedly laughed at that,

Their interaction was so easy, sometimes, and casey loved every bit of it.

It felt natural.

"Does that mean you'll be there?"

Alex smiled at Casey's hopeful tone.

"We'll see, miss novak, now go eat something and take a nap"

--

Alex did went to casey's game.

The woman never showed interest in sports in her life and even a few of the other professors who went were surprised to see her there.

When casey saw her from the field she smiled, dimples and all, and alex's heart clutched uncontrollably.

To say Casey looked good in uniform will be the biggest understatement of the century, in alex's book.

Casey was obviously very fit, she could see that even when the younger woman wore jeans or sweatpants and especially with the outfits she wore when they went to the ER - which alex had to stop herself from checking out multiple times,

But this time it was different,

casey was in her element, toned arms flexing every time they gripped on the bet, ginger hair pulled into a long braid and the pants (god bless the person who made softball uniform pants THAT TIGHT) hugging her ass perfectly.

alex believed she might get a aneurysm just from trying to act unfazed by the whole ordeal, luckily for her her train of thoughts got cut off by a family voice.

"Professor cabot"

Alex looked away from away from casey's ass to the general direction she heard the voice coming from.

"Miss benson, how are you?"

In class professor cabot was known as the cold hearted , scary professor, aka the ice queen, but outside she was still very much human, and at the end of the day, it wasn't something she tried to hide, she saw no reason in hiding the fact she was indeed not always a bitch.

But honestly, she liked that her students were a bit scared of her, it kept them motivated.

"Im okay, how about you?

I have to admit professor, i wouldn't have tagged you as a softball fan"

Alex noticed that when she spoke with casey it was easy, even if it wasn't related to class itself, it cane naturally, unfortunately for alex- olivia wasn't casey.

Professor cabot was known to be cold, alexandra cabot was known for being classy, alex was just a very awkward human being.

"I normally don't go but its the end of the season, thought it'll be nice" she answered politely.

The two woman who now stood side by side hadn't noticed casey watching them from the field, cheeks red and hands tightly gripping the bet.

The red head had no idea what they were talking about, and was obviously trying to keep her emotions at bay.

the logical part of her brain understood that alex had more students, but the other one just felt jealous.

Especially because alex and her weren't anything other than student and her professor.

Not really.

The game was over pretty quickly, to alex's surprise

The conversation with Olivia hadn't been long, and even while she politely spoke to the brunette she was still more interested in casey's game.

(And ass)

When they won, and they did, casey was delighted

Her cheeks red and green eyes sparkling with excitement , Her dimples (god, alex had a soft spot for those) showing in full force.

The team was ecstatic, all hugging and shouting and some even kissed, thankfully for alex, casey wasn't one of them, she wouldn't be able to watch her kiss someone.

More than 45 minutes after the game ended most people already left, not alex.

The blonde was standing in the middle of the field, her hands clutching on a varsity jacket with "novak" written on its back.

when casey was leaving the locker room (and searching for her jacket) she noticed the blonde and smiled widely.

Casey was dressed to impress, for sure, black skintight cocktail dress and high hills.

She was going to meet up with George and a few more friends to celebrate.

When the blonde noticed her as well she sent the older woman a wave and walked over to her.

"You're still here"

She tried to ignore the tingly feeling in her stomach when she cached alex's gaze on her.

"I guessed congratulations were in order, and also, you forgot this jacket in class today"

The two smiled at each other, both a bit unsure how to handle the conversation.

Casey took the jacket away from alex's grasp.

Their hands touching briefly.

"I'm happy to see you in one piece, cassandra"

Casey laughed

"Well thank you, i did tried my best"

After moment of silence casey decided to take a shot in the dark.

"I like it when you call me cassandra,

It sounds so much better than miss novak"

"I'll take that into account,

does it bothering you when i call you miss novak?"

"Well no, except every time you call me miss novak makes me feel like I'm being scolded in class"

Alex smirked at that.

Casey will never forget their first meeting, it seems.

"Alright then, cassandra.

in that case, You can call me alex, or alexandra - not in front of your classmates, of course"

Alex took herself by surprise by saying that.

Casey smiled "alex it is"

Alex's phone beeped and she rolled her eyes.

"I have to go, do you have a ride?" Alex asked- Secretly hoping to spend a few more minutes in casey's company.

"I do, my roommate is waiting for me somewhere, we're going to celebrate my victory"

Alex chuckled at that before putting her glasses back on.

"Give me your phone"

Casey gave her the phone with a puzzled expression.

Alex saved her own number in the redhead's contacts under "Alexandra" and pressed dial, to make sure she'll have casey's number as well.

"If you find yourself in a familiar situation as last time, call me, i prefer you don't walk around drunk"

Both knew it wasn't 'right' - it was dangerous territory.

If someone will know about it - even if nothing actually happens- alex integrity will be questioned and she might lose her job.

But alex trusted casey and damn her job, if something will happen to the red head when she could stop that she wont be able to live.

The fact alex knew that and still gave casey her number made casey's heart flutter.

"Thank you, Alex, goodnight" she said and alex smiled again before she turned around and left the field.

A few seconds after the professor left, casey still stood there with the biggest grin until George got to her and put his hand on her shoulder.

"You're ready to go?"

-

Later that night casey was indeed drunk

After some girl tried to kiss her, and another one asked for her number - she politely declined both- she got to conclusion that she's not interested in neither.

George asked her about it, but he had a feeling the woman was genuinely not interested in anyone- well other than her professor- and after seeing them together (when they weren't even aware of his presence) , he couldn't blame his roommate.

At this point in the evening both roommates and their friends were very drunk.

George was having a nice, half drunk, conversation with a guy in the corner- and casey who couldn't be in the heated space anymore went out for a smoke and checked her notifications,

Alexandra: Just making sure you're okay

(When alex sent it she was actually nervous but decided she wanted to remind casey she could talk to her if needed)

Its been 5 minutes since alex sent it and casey was impressed that the older woman was still awake.

Cassandra: Im okay, how about you?

Alex chuckled at the response , she was certain casey was drunk.

Alexandra: Im good, wanted to check on you.

No broken nose or anything?

Cassandra: no trip to the ER is needed.

Alexandra: good, it means you haven't tried walking around by yourself, i presume

Cassandra: excuse you, it was your fault i broke my nose in the first place

Alexandra: meaning?

Shut up casey, the sober part of her brain would've shout if it wasn't clouded by the amount of alcohol she drank

Before she typed a response her phone rang, the blonde's name flashing on the screen

"What does it mean?"

"Nothing" casey responded

"Casey!"

That was new, no cassandra and no miss novak.

Just alex calling her name in her serious tone.

"Why are you even awake? Alex"

Casey breathed, trying to change the subject

"You're trying to deflect" alex was annoyed

"Im not" casey lied

"Im a lawyer, cassandra, don't try to bullshit me"

Casey's breath stoped momentarily when she heard alex curse.

That was a lot more hotter than she expected.

"Pick me up?" She said and gave in to her drunk impulses.

"Send me the adress" alex said before hanging up

Casey went back inside to let her friends know she was leaving with a friend, not before she promised George to let him know she was home

When she got back outside she saw a familiar car, and got in, smiling at Alex.

"Thank you"

"No problem" the older woman said.

She was wearing sweatpants and a t shirt, her hair pulled into a messy bun and had no makeup on.

She looked beautiful , casey thought.

They started the drive in a pretty comfortable silence

"What did you meant, on the phone? How was it my fault you broke your nose?"

Casey took a deep breath.

Shit.

"I meant i was surprised to see you.. like that"

Alex couldn't figure out what casey meant by that even if she tried.

"Cassandra, what?"

"i meant dressed like you were and outside of class.. I thought you looked breathtaking"

Casey whispered and alex breath hitched.

"You're drunk"

"And you're beautiful"

they stopped talking for a few seconds, both stuck in their heads, before alex stopped the car, right outside casey's apartment.

"You cant say that , cassandra, I'm your professor" alex said, before casey would've slipped away from the car.

Casey put her hand on the older woman's cheek.

"Don't you think i know that alex?"

Casey's eyes began to water, she didn't know how to handle the rejection

"I think you're beautiful too"

Alex admitted sadly, painfully even.

She couldn't handle seeing casey, who was normally so confident, reaction.

Especially because alex felt the same way.

They were screwed.

Casey looked at her with farrowed eyes,

"Please don't lie to make me feel better, its just making me feel worse"

Casey bagged

"I don't" alex admitted "you're breathtaking Cassandra, especially in that goddamn dress"

And that was it,

Casey's lips were on alex's.

And as much as alex's logical part of the brain tried to push everything she felt back, it was useless.

She was far gone.

After months of holding back, painful chemistry and effort to keep herself from catching unprofessional feelings, that was it.

The kiss was desperate,

Casey's lips tasted like cheap tequila and pizza, alex's tasted like toothpaste.

Alex's hands tangled in casey's hair, while casey pulled the older woman as close as she could.

"I wanted to do that for so long" casey murmured as they broke apart. Noses inches away from each other.

"I know. So did i" alex admitted, to both herself and casey. "But you know we cant do that, I'm your teacher" she continued and casey pulled her in again.

Alex kissed back instantly

"Im almost 25, a consenting adult, and i fucking want this. No one has to know, i know you want me too, i can feel it"

Alex took off the younger woman's sit belt , and then her own before Casey climbed over the space between them and sat on her lap.

The blonde's hand instantly moved to casey's ass while casey's found themselves wrapped around alex's neck.

Tongues battling for dominance - alex won.

"Come inside" casey said between kisses,

She felt her whole body warming up with anticipation.

"We cant Cassandra, You're drunk" alex said and pulled away painfully.

Her hands climbing up from the redhead's ass to her hair, and cheeks.

"I sobered up" casey argued and alex laughed.

"I want to believe you, but i cant. if we're doing this, we need to do this properly"

Casey groaned before burying her face in alex's neck, kissing her shoulder blade.

Alex sighed softly and casey felt herself getting worked up by the sound alone

"You sure about the waiting part?" Casey whispered as she trailed kisses on the older woman's neck.

Sucking on her pulse point.

Alex's hand pulled casey's hair, by accident, Casey's reaction to it was a small moan and alex had to stop herself from getting the younger girl right there on the steering wheel.

"You should go to bed Cassandra, sleep the alcohol off" alex said and pulled casey from her neck.

It took every ounce of self restraint from her to do so.

"I don't want this to end" casey admitted and looked into alex's blue- who looked at her warmly, a sight she will cherish for the rest of her life.

"Its not a real goodbye, its just for a few hours, i promise"

Alex said and kissed casey's cheek

"You promise?"

"I do"

[guitarstringed-scars]

on stage- s. hinata

whenever you're ready

masterlist

you put your phone away into your bag, straighten up your papers in front of you, and look up to the stage for the first audition. the girl who goes first is a familiar face, the lead in your last production, so obviously she gives the audition of a lifetime.

“she's good. i mean, obviously.” you lean over to akaashi, whispering once she exits the stage. akaashi scribbles something in his notes.

“i agree. i think she could easily play one of the leads.”

you shoot him a thumbs up as the next auditioner enters the stage, for possibly the most monotone audition of all time. you end that not as good one with a quick “thanks for auditioning!” 

this is going to be a long day.

18 auditions later, and its time for a well deserved break. you and akaashi head out to the lobby of the theater and stand in front of a busted up vending machine. 

“got a quarter? i've only got 2.” you ask, eyeing the m&ms sat in the second level of the machine. 

“nope, you could ask bokuto. He’s always carrying around loose change.”

“good plan.” great plan actually, you think, maybe he's with the ginger from earlier.

with that the both of you round the corner of the lobby, where you spot the trio of volleyball players.  

oikawa notices you two first, “well if it isn't the famous writer and less famous director!” 

bokuto and the other guy turn to you two quickly. ignoring oikawa, you turn to bokuto. “Do you have a quarter?”

oikawa frowns once he realizes he's being ignored.

“yup! what do you need it for?” “vending machine around the corner.” 

the ginger cuts into the conversation at this point, “theres a vending machine here?” he asks excitedly.

“yeah, its just around the corner! want me to show you?” you respond, hopefully not sounding too eager. you shoot keiji a quick side eye, and he fortunately catches your drift.

“i'll stay behind, i'm not super hungry.”

“i'm shoyo by the way!”

“so...whats it like directing plays?” he asks, finally figuring out where to put his collection of quarters. you swiftly put your phone down.

“uhm...it's really fun. getting to direct has always been a big dream of mine, and getting to actually do it is super great, even if it's a play instead of a movie. this show might be my favorite so far. why'd you decide to audition?”

he punches in the number combination for his drink of choice, “oikawa told me i had to, but now that i'm here watching the auditions, i'm super excited! everything about it seems so cool!"

you both laugh. the vending machine clangs as the drink hits the bottom of the chute. he picks it up and hands it to you.

“i'm hoping this will convince the director to cast me.” he smiles at you, hand outstretched.

"bribery doesn't work on me,” you laugh and accept the drink, “just have a decent audition, and you'll be fine. thanks though.” 

shooting him a quick, nervous smile, you turn back into the empty theater and have a seat at the empty table.

15 mediocre auditions later, oikawa is finally up on stage. he performs the monologue perfectly, and is met by audience applause once he finishes and takes a bow. you roll your eyes, but smile at him anyway, shooting him a thumbs up. it was a perfect auditon to be fair, not that you'd ever tell him that. after torus dazzling performance, shoyo takes the stage.

“woah! how am i meant to follow that up!” he exclaims. you grin at him from the audience.

“you can start whenever you're ready.”

a/n: woohoo 2 chapters in 1 day and first meeting of shoyo and yn!!! i really like this chapter, even though theres a lot more writing than smau, but dont worry there will be a lot of smau in the next part! also i'm starting to plan a second fic, and i'm still trying to decide which character to use, so expect a poll coming soon for that!

taglist: @yuminako @mylahrins @/intergalacticrory @zzzlevislothzzz @hibernatinghamster @shoyosluver @/walllflowerrrsss

if you arent underlined i cant tag you !

[jasontoddsmommyissues]

Let’s Give ‘Em Something to Talk About

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Femme!Henderson!Reader

Summary: Y/N Henderson’s relationship with Eddie puts her at odds with Jason Carver and co.

Warnings: Reader uses she/her pronouns, bullying/harassment, slut shaming, allusions to sexual content (nothing sexual actually happens), Jason being a prick, swearing, Reader is Dustin’s sister but no physical descriptions are used and you can read it as an adopted sibling if you want, I think that’s it but let me know if I missed something

A/N: Alright, this is the first Fic I’ve ever posted on here. I’m honestly a little nervous, but hopefully you enjoy. I’ll probably end up posting this on my Ao3 too so I’ll link that at some point.

My Master List | Ao3

—

“I’m gonna miss you”, Eddie whines as he leans against the locker next to yours.

“It’s one class”, you reply as you swap out your English textbook for history, “that’s, what, an hour?”

“Actually I have Davis’s class next so it feels more like three hours”, Eddie says.

You snort. Mr. Davis has probably been around since the dinosaur era, and if there were to be a competition for most boring teacher at Hawkins High, he would win it hands down.

“It’s not funny”, Eddie teasingly pouts, “I might actually die of boredom.”

“As much as I would hate for that to happen, I’ve got my own class to get to, so unfortunately you’re on your own for now,” you reply.

“Alright well, please tell the rest of Hellfire I’m going to miss them”, he tells you, “and feel free to wear that black skirt of yours to the funeral. The tight one. It’s what I would’ve wanted.”

You roll your eyes affectionately before pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

“You’re so dramatic”, you say, “I’ll see you later.”

“If I survive that long”, he calls. You shake your head before turning the corner and heading into your history classroom.

“Okay, class”, your teacher, Mr. Price announces once the bell rings, “I’ve written some questions on the board. You’ll find the answers in Chapter 5 of your textbook. Write them down and turn them in by the end of class. You may work with a partner if you’d like.”

You pull your textbook out of your bag and flip to a clean sheet in your notebook. You don’t have any friends in this class, so you figure you may as well just do it yourself and get it over with. That is, until a voice startles you as you’re about to start reading the first page of the chapter.

“Hey, Y/N. Do you wanna work together?”

You blink up at the source of the voice and are pretty sure you must be hallucinating. That’s the only explanation you can think of as to why Jason Carver would be asking you to be his partner.

The two of you have been in the same grade since Kindergarten and you can't think of a single time in all those years that he’s directly acknowledged your existence. The closest thing you have to a connection with him is that your little brother is friends with one of his new Basketball recruits, but you kind of doubt he even knows or cares about that. There’s a few members of his little posse he could be asking to work with him, so you have no clue why he’d be asking you of all people. But, you don’t have anyone else, so you shrug.

“Sure, I guess”, you say.

“Great”, he smiles, moving to sit down next to you.

“I’ll get started on number 1”, you suggest, “maybe you can do number 2 and we’ll compare?”

“Sure”, he says sweetly. You’re honestly getting a little freaked out by how friendly he’s being.

You both do your agreed upon work, and then switch off to show each other your answers.

“So?” you ask when he’s finished reading yours, “does that seem right?”

“Yeah”, he replies, “you’re good at this. You ever thought about being a tutor?”

“Oh, no, not really”, you say.

“See, I just ask because our youth group has this program where some of us older members help the younger kids out after school and stuff.”

“Oh, that’s cool”, you tell him, not really engaged the conversation. It all sounds well and good, but you really aren’t interested in being a tutor at the moment.

“You know, the church has a lot of great programs”, Jason continues, and you’re not sure what any of this has to do with the Byzantine empire, which is what you’re supposed to be discussing.

“Okay”, you say.

“They do a lot of outreach, a lot of stuff to help people who have lost their way.”

“Lost their way?” you inquire, a small part of you beginning to understand what’s actually going on.

“Yeah. You know. Made bad choices, got mixed up with the wrong people.”

“Um, I think we should just get back to the assignment”, you suggest, uncomfortable with the discussion and not wanting it to go any further.

“Look”, Jason sighs, “what I’m trying to say is, I don’t know you very well, but you seem like a nice girl. I’d hate to see you go down a bad path.”

Okay. You get it now, and it’s starting to piss you off.

“Thank you, but I’m doing just fine”, you insist.

“You’ve been hanging around with Eddie Munson”, Jason says, as if it’s some scandalous secret and not just you spending time with your boyfriend, “you really shouldn’t do that, you know…”

You stare at him, a little dumbfounded he would just up and say such a thing to you.

“You can’t be serious…”, you say.

Jason leans in to you, a deadly serious expression on his face.

“I’ve heard about guys like him before”, he tells you, “I know the stuff they’re into.”

Yeah, so do you. It’s tabletop role playing games, which is about the least nefarious activity you could possibly think of. Jason clearly doesn’t see it that way, though, because he’s still going on.

“And I know they like to lure innocent people like you into their little organizations. I’m telling you, Munson is bad news. You should stay away before you get hurt.”

You seriously have to hold yourself back from laughing right in Jason’s face. You’re not sure what reality he’s living in, but it clearly isn’t the same one you are. Last weekend, you and Eddie had watched Terms of Endearment and he’d started to cry (well started tearing up at least, even sniffled a little, though he vehemently denied it). There’s not a single situation in which you can ever imagine him causing you intentional harm.

“Okay, you know what”, you say, “I think I’m gonna finish the rest of the assignment alone, thanks.”

Jason grabs your arm gently but firmly. “I’m serious, Y/N. He’s dangerous. Stay away from him before you end up hurt or killed.”

You’re really not sure what the most offensive part of all this is. It’s either that Jason thinks that somehow Eddie Munson, your lovable dork of a boyfriend,is secretly an evil Satanist cult leader, or that you’re apparently too stupid or naive to make that kind of judgment for yourself. Maybe it’s that he volunteered to work with you on an assignment and acted all friendly with you just so he could get this opportunity to preach to you about your supposedly “dangerous” lifestyle. He’s never given you the time of day before, after all.

“I don’t know what it is you think you see in him, but I promise you it’s not going to end well.”

You snort. Is he, what, jealous or something? He’s got a girlfriend, after all, and plenty of other girls who’d be willing to take her place if she were to leave him. It’s kind of sad that he’s apparently so insecure that the mere thought of Eddie Munson getting female attention is enough to have him losing his shit like this.

“Whatever”, you spit, “just leave me alone.”

He glares at you, but ultimately turns his attention to his textbook and doesn’t speak to you for the rest of the class.

-

You happily shove the encounter out of your mind once the bell rings. You’re perfectly content with the social circle you keep, and you’re not going to let some jock with an inflated sense of self importance change that.

Jason apparently doesn’t do the same because he spends lunch glaring at you from his table. Granted, him shooting disgusted looks in the general direction of the Hellfire Club is a regular occurance, but today he’s making it obvious his ire is directed specifically at you.

“What the fuck is his problem?” Eddie asks.

“I dunno”, you shrug, “he’s just an asshole.”

Eddie peers at him for a moment and you can see a familiar glint of mischief twinkle in his eye. Before you can comment, he’s dramatically pushing himself to his feet and sauntering over to Jason and company.

“What do you want?” Jason demands.

“Couldn’t help but notice you staring”, Eddie says, “just wanted to let you know that I’m flattered, but unfortunately you aren’t really my type. Sorry.”

“Fuck off”, Jason barks, “disgusting freak.”

“Don’t take it too hard”, Eddie says, giving him a joking pat on the shoulder before making his way back over to you. You stifle a laugh at the indignant look plastered on Jason’s face. Eddie shoots you a proud grin and you shake your head affectionately. Jason clearly doesn’t know shit about “guys like Eddie.”

-

The next few days pass by uneventfully. Jason doesn’t try talking to you again, which you’re thankful for. Wednesday starts out normally, you go to history, and Jason roundly ignores your presence. Then you have to go to your next class, which is gym.

Definitely not a favorite of yours, and you don’t even have Eddie in your class to ease the pain. You make it through your warm ups, and then the coach has you split up to practice your volleyball serves. Everything’s going well until Andy, one of Jason’s buddies, approaches you out of nowhere.

“Hey, Henderson”, he says, a smirk on his face, “you think you could score me some weed?”

You look at him, confused. You don’t get involved in Eddie’s side hustle, so you’re not sure why he’d ask you.

“What?”

“Oh, I just figured you probably get a good discount”, he goes on, “I mean, that’s why you let Munson fuck you, right?”

You freeze in shock, your cheeks starting to grow hot. You can’t say you’re used to people making comments about your sex life, especially not to your face.

“I mean, I gotta say”, Andy continues, a cruel glint in his eye, “I didn’t take you for a slut. But come on. Spreading your legs for that freak? Jesus, that’s sad. You know, I’d be happy to show you a good time, since you’re so desperate for it.”

You can only stand there, mouth agape. Sure, you’ve gotten a gross comment or two from a male classmate before, but nothing like this. You certainly have never been called a slut before. You try to formulate a response, but you can’t come up with one. It doesn’t matter anyway, because the coach’s whistle rings out, signaling for you all to hit the changing rooms. You dash out of the gym, more than pleased to be away from Andy.

You hop in the shower in the locker room, take a few moments to shake off the discomfort of the interaction. You’re not entirely successful in that endeavor, because it keeps playing in your mind even after you’re dressed and making your way back into the hallways.

You have no idea where the hell Andy came up with all of that. At this point, it’s common knowledge that you and Eddie are dating, but you don’t know where this idea that you’re sleeping with him for drugs came from. It couldn’t be further from the truth.

“Hey, Beautiful”, you’re distracted from your thoughts by Eddie, who comes happily bounding over to you. His face falls when he sees the look on your face though.

“You okay?” he asks.

“I’m fine”, you say. Something about the idea of telling Eddie about what happened leaves a bad taste in your mouth. It’s embarrassing, and you definitely don’t want him to feel like it’s somehow his fault that Jason and Andy are giving you a hard time.

Besides, it doesn’t matter. Once again, nothing they say about you or Eddie is true. You can’t let some stupid jocks get to you.

-

Honestly, you probably could’ve been okay, if that was the end of it. Unfortunately, things only get worse the next day.

As you make your way to your seat in history, you catch sight of Amber and Samantha, two cheerleaders who like to hang around Jason and the others, whispering as you walk by.

You ignore them, figuring you’re being paranoid and they probably aren’t even talking about you, but when you sit down, Amber turns and looks you right in the eye.

She raises her voice then, clearly intending for you to hear what she’s saying.

“I hope she’s gotten tested”, she tells Samantha, “I can’t imagine what nasty shit the Freak is passing on to her.”

You take a deep breath, turning away from her.

It doesn’t matter, you tell yourself, it’s not true.

“I hope the drugs are worth it,” Samantha says.

You clench your jaw as you slip into your seat. It shouldn’t bother you so much. It's not true, and even if it were, who cares what Amber and Samantha have to say about it?

You’re dating Eddie because you like him. You like the way he’s always joking around and making you laugh, you like that he makes a point of looking out for Dustin and his friends, you like the way he looks at you with those big puppy dog eyes and flashes that mischievous grin. Cheap access to his drugs has never even crossed your mind.

You shouldn’t concern yourself with what they say, you know that, but hearing your name in connection with “slut” grinds at you.

-

During gym class, you do your best to avoid Andy, because everytime he notices you looking at him, he’s making some suggestive gesture at you. You don’t bother telling anyone about it, since Andy’s on the basketball team and the coach would probably take his side.

In the hallway, you accidentally bump into Patrick from the basketball team. You mutter an apology, which he accepts, but his girlfriend gives you the dirtiest look you’ve ever seen.

“Don’t talk to her”, you hear her tell him as you walk away, “she’s a slut.”

-

All of the gossip has put you in a foul mood by the time you get to your second to last period of the day, which happens to be study hall.

Like always, it’s in the cafeteria, with you and a bunch of other students of varying grade levels all sitting around doing your homework. Technically, you’re not supposed to talk, but the teacher in charge is way too underpaid to worry about enforcing that, so you can usually get away with conversation as long as things don’t get too rowdy.

You’re not taking advantage of that today, rather trying your best to distract yourself by actually doing your homework. You’re halfway through summarizing Act 3 of Hamlet when you hear someone say your name.

“Hey, Y/N…”

You’re confused when you look up to find Lucas standing there. Technically, you’ve known him for years, but it’s not like you’ve ever associated with him outside the time he spends with Dustin.

“What?” you ask, a little meaner than you mean to.

“I just thought you should know that…well, I think Jason has been going around saying things about you.”

Of course. You should’ve known Jason was behind this. Jason fucking Carver. Captain of the Basketball Team. Active member of the local church. Son of one of the most respected families in Hawkins. He’s clearly used to people listening to whatever he has to say. Apparently, his ego couldn’t handle you dismissing his comments about your relationship with Eddie.

Jesus, you’d always known he was a bit of an asshole, but this is a level of pettiness you’d never expected, even from him.

“Don’t tell him I told you”, Lucas adds, “but I just thought you should know.”

“Thank you”, you say. You’re definitely glad to have that piece of information.

-

The next day, you storm into Mr. Price’s classroom with righteous fury coursing through your veins. You bypass your desk and instead march straight up to Jason.

He pauses his conversation with Andy and Samantha when he sees you approach.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” You demand.

“Excuse me?” Jason asks.

“I know you’ve been starting rumors about me”, you tell him, “what exactly is your problem, Jason?”

“Me? I don’t have a problem”, Jason insists, “I just think it’s fair the men of Hawkins High get a warning about your ‘extracurricular’ activities.”

You can feel heat flood your cheeks.

“You’re a dick, Jason!” you hiss.

“You know, Y/N”, Jason retorts, “I actually feel bad for you. I mean, no decent man is ever going to want you when they find out you’ve been giving it up to some trailer trash freak.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about”, you snap.

“Believe me, I know exactly what happens to girls who hang around with filthy, Satan-worshiping scumbags”, he says, “and you know what? I’m not going to feel sorry for you when they’re finding your body dumped in the woods.”

“Get over yourself!”

“Whatever”, Jason shakes his head, “I’m not gonna take the attitude from some little slut.”

You’re not fully in control of yourself during what happens next. One second you’re standing there listening to Jason degrade you, the next your fist is connecting with his face.

He stands there, stunned for a moment, before opening his mouth to say something. He doesn’t get the chance though, because Mr. Price gets to it first.

“Ms. Henderson”, he gasps, “Mr. Carver, what on earth is going on here?”

“She punched me in the face”, Jason spits accusingly.

“I-I…I’m sorry I…”

“Enough”, Mr. Price sighs, “I want both of you going to the principal’s office right now!”

-

You’re in deep shit. That much is immediately clear. You punched Jason Carver in the face. It’s not like you even claim it was self defense, since he didn’t do anything physical to you.

“So”, Principal Higgins sighs, “tell me what happened again?”

“She punched me in the face”, Jason hisses.

“Is that true?”

“Yes”, you sigh, “but he called me a slut.”

Principal Higgins rubs his temple, processing the information. Meanwhile, Jason’s gaze is fixed firmly on you, his eyes full of hatred.

“Mr. Carver”, Higgins says finally, “that is not appropriate language to use in regards to another student. You may go back to class, but I better not hear about something like this again.”

Jason stands and marches out of the office, as if he has a right to be pissed about Higgins’ scolding. You suppress the urge to roll your eyes. Of course he gets a slap on the wrist. Nobody wants to punish the star basketball player. You’re certain that if it were anyone else, Eddie or Dustin or one of the other Hellfire Club members, they definitely wouldn’t be getting off so easily.

“Now, as for you Ms. Henderson”, Higgins says, “we do not allow for any sort of violence in this school. However, in all your years at this school, you have never had to receive any form of discipline. So I’m willing to be flexible here. Normally, something like this could be grounds for suspension, but since this is your first time, I say it’s two weeks detention after school starting next Monday. Does that sound fair to you?”

Not really, no, but you can’t say that.

“Yes”, you reply instead.

“Alright. Good. Now go back to class. And Ms. Henderson, I sincerely hope I won’t have to see you in my office again.”

-

You’re in a bad mood when Mr. Price’s class finally ends. You’ve gone your entire high school career without getting a detention and now you’ve ruined that over some pompous dick bag. Speaking of, Jason has been staring daggers at you since you returned to class, and is continuing to do so even now as you’re leaving.

There’s a tense, awkward moment where you both stand there in the hallway, glaring at each other, but it’s broken when the force of a body colliding with your back almost takes you off your feet. Jason is forgotten when a pair of arms wrap around your waist from behind.

“Eddie”, you huff playfully.

“How’d you know it was me?” he asks as you turn around to face him.

“Cause you can’t keep your hands to yourself, Munson”, you reply.

“Don’t blame me”, he replies, “you know I’m powerless to resist your charms.”

Before you can reply he’s pulling you close and beginning to press kisses to your cheek. You know the two of you are making a scene, and on any other day you might be a little self conscious about it, but today you’re just glad to have him around.

His kisses stop suddenly and you realize he’s stopped because he’s finally noticed Jason’s hateful glaring. Unfazed as always, he just flashes a cocky smile and gives Jason a mocking impression of a friendly wave. Jason makes a face like he’s wishing for both you and Eddie’s violent deaths.

“Geez”, Eddie comments, “he looks pissed.”

“Um, yeah, probably because I punched him in the face”, you mutter.

Eddie’s eyes widen in obvious surprise.

“He had it coming”, you add, “he was being a Dick.”

You know you don’t have to defend yourself to Eddie. He knows better than anyone how nasty Jason can be.

“My, my, Fair Lady Henderson”, he smiles, “I dare say that was very Metal of you.”

“Yeah, well, Higgins didn’t think so”, you reply, “I got two weeks detention for it.”

“Ol’ Higgins never did have a sense of humor”, Eddie says, “but from where I’m standing, you’re basically a hero.”

“Really?”

“Hell yeah”, Eddie tells you, “Jason and his goons have been making our lives miserable for years.”

You can’t help but smile at that. You’re definitely not happy with the day’s events, but knowing Eddie’s on your side makes it a little more bearable.

-

On Monday you begrudgingly make your way to Mrs. Cline’s room for your first day of detention.

“Ms. Henderson?” she asks when you walk in.

“Yeah”, you say, a little embarrassed.

“Wonderful”, she says, checking your name off of a list in front of her, “please take a seat.”

There’s only two other people in there with you, so you just pick a seat as far from them as possible and sit down.

“Alright”, Mrs. Cline says, “looks like everyone’s here except…”

“I’m here.”

You look up in surprise to see Eddie come walking into the room.

“Ah, yes, Mr. Munson”, Mrs. Cline says dryly, “what a surprise. Please take a seat.”

You know that Eddie isn’t a stranger to detention, but it’s weird that he didn’t mention anything to you when you’d told him about it. He walks over to the desk next to yours, looking way too pleased for someone who’s about to serve a stint in detention.

“What are you doing here?” you ask.

“Oh, you know, got caught vandalizing the boy’s locker room during free period”, he tells you.

“What? When?”

“Friday”, he says with a satisfied smirk.

You frown. This must’ve happened after the whole Jason thing on Friday which means…

Which means Eddie did it knowing that you were also going to be in detention.

“Eddie”, you say, “did you get detention just because I did?”

“I couldn’t let you have all the fun, could I?” he grins.

You can’t help but smile along with him.

“Mr. Munson, Ms. Henderson”, Mrs. Cline calls from her desk, “no talking during detention.”

Eddie mimes zipping his lips and waits until Mrs. Cline looks away before giving you a playful wink. You stifle a giggle.

You don’t know Jason all that well, but you’re pretty sure he would never dream of landing himself in detention just to keep his girlfriend company. You’ve never seen him make a scene in the middle of the hallways to get her to smile. That’s the thing about this that really gets under your skin. Jason and the others don’t know shit. They think that just because Eddie doesn’t fall into their narrow definition of “acceptable”, he must be scary and dangerous. They think that just because you’re not afraid of him, you must be dirty and corrupted. They’re too close-minded to look closer and see that Eddie is the sweetest boyfriend you could ever imagine, that you spend time with him because he makes you happy. They’d rather write him off as a freak and you off as a slut than accept that maybe their perception is wrong.

You’re far from being a violent person, but you can’t say you regret what you did. Jason deserved to be put in his place, and it’s not like you did any serious damage to him anyway. You’re glad you stood up for yourself, for Eddie. You’ve probably tacked “psycho bitch” onto your already unflattering “whore” reputation, but at this point, you’re not sure you care. If being a freak means you get to spend your days with the love of your life, you will gladly accept that label.

-

After the designated two hours are up, Mrs. Cline dismisses you all.

“Well, that wasn’t so bad”, you say as you and Eddie start making your way through the hall.

“Nah”, he replies, “I mean it’s boring but it’s not bad.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m definitely not planning on having to do this again”, you continue, “but it’s bearable.”

Eddie nods.

“I’m sorry, by the way”, he adds.

“For what?”

“Jason and the others. They’ve been giving you a hard time, right?”

“Yeah”, you shrug, “it is what it is. Not your fault.”

“I mean it kind of is”, Eddie replies, “they’re only doing it because you’re dating me.”

“Eddie”, you say, “Jason’s an asshole, okay? That’s not on you. If he can’t handle our relationship, then fuck him.”

That gets a grin out of Eddie.

“You know, you’re getting to be quite a rabble rouser, Henderson”, he jokes.

“I’m learning from the best”, you tease back.

Eddie’s smile widens. He follows you out to your car and then presses a soft kiss to your lips.

“See you tomorrow, Sweetheart”, he says and then heads off to his van. You watch him go, butterflies still lingering in your tummy from the contact.

If you’d actually had any doubts about Eddie, they would’ve disappeared in that moment. That feeling, it’s a one of a kind thing. No one’s ever managed to give it to you before, and you’re not sure anyone else ever will. You love Eddie. He loves you. He’s sweet, and silly and he treats you right. If your peers want to believe a bunch of bullshit about you two, then let them. You know what you have, and you’re not going to let them ruin it for you.

Grinning to yourself, you hop in your car, put the Black Sabbath tape you borrowed from Eddie into the player and head home.

[cozage]

The Moss that Grew in Gloom

Chapter 8: Day Two

Start From Beginning | Next Chapter | Masterlist | Read on AO3

Word Count: 2.4k Characters: female reader x Zoro AN: sorry about the delay on the next chapter! Life has been really busy recently. Hopefully I'll have some more free time and inspiration over the summer! --

The knock on your door came early the next morning. Zoro’s knock. 

You hadn’t been expecting him for at least a few more hours. He liked to sleep in. And yet here he was, knocking on your door. 

“Hey!” Zoro shouted through the thick wood of the door. “Are you awake yet?”

“Come in,” you said gently, putting your book down on the table in front of you. 

He quickly entered at the sound of your voice and gave you a quirky smile. “Told you I’d be early. Let’s get to training.”

“You need to eat first.” You let out a long sigh, then stood to your feet and grabbed Nikko. “We both do. It will be a draining day.”

“What exactly are we doing?” he asked, his eyes flitting to your sword and back to you.

You shook your head slightly. “It’s better to just show you.” You walked out of your room, Zoro trailing behind you. “There’s no way Perona is awake yet, so we’re on our own for breakfast.”

He said nothing more as the two of you walked through the halls, which you were grateful for. You had been awake and ready for the day, but you had expected to have some more quiet time before he came and found you. You wanted more time to prepare, both mentally and emotionally. 

When you got to the kitchen, you pulled out some bread and began to toast it for yourself. You needed something that would stick. Something that wouldn’t make you hungry again for a while. 

“Do you want eggs?” Zoro asked, grabbing a pan from the cupboard. 

“Sure,” you hummed, smiling to yourself. “How many pieces of toast would you like?”

“Five should be good.”

You laughed at that. Of course he could casually eat five pieces of bread and eggs. 

“What’s so funny?” he shot back, which only caused you to laugh harder. 

“Nothing!” you said, taking a breath of air. “I don’t know why I should be shocked that you can eat five pieces of bread and eggs, Roronoa.”

“Breakfast is an important meal! I have to--the energy--eating is very--forget it!”

“How many eggs are you eating, Roronoa?” you teased, turning your head over your shoulder to grin at him. “Ten? Twenty?”

He rolled his eyes at you and ignored your comments, and you turned back to your own pan. Making breakfast with him, so effortlessly joking and teasing along the way, it all almost felt…domestic. The thought was enough to make you stand straighter and ignore him for the rest of the time. 

Once you had a pile of bread and Zoro had finished cooking his mound of eggs, the two of you left the kitchen and sat at the table. You grabbed a few pieces of bread, and then looked at the scrambled eggs with uncertainty. 

“Do you want to get your eggs first? We may have over-prepared for breakfast.” He may have over prepared for breakfast, but you didn’t want to sound accusatory. 

“Get whatever you’d like,” Zoro said. “I’ll take the rest.”

You stifled a smile. “You really do eat ten to twenty eggs, don’t you?”

“Only on training days!” He said, his signature eye twitch starting. 

You could hold back a laugh as you scooped out a helping of eggs onto your plate, and then handed off the pan to him. 

Breakfast was quiet. You were still focused on building the last of your reserves. Zoro seemed to be focused too, but you didn’t have the energy to ask any questions. 

“Can we train at the ruins today?” Zoro scraped the last bit of food off his plate and shoved it into his mouth. 

“The courtyard,” you said shortly. You weren’t supposed to leave the grounds without your father around. 

He didn’t argue, thankfully. You stood and reached for his plate, but he grabbed it himself and stood with you. 

“I can do the dishes,” he offered, holding out his hand to take yours. “You go set up for everything.”

You almost denied him, but you thought better of it. You handed your plate off and went to the courtyard. There wasn’t much to set up today; just two pillows. It would be a long day of sitting still and concentrating. 

He finally arrived, glancing between you and the pillows. 

“Sit,” you commanded, grabbing one of the pillows and sitting down. 

He quietly grabbed the other and sat in front of you just as you had instructed. The two of you were so close. And those storm-gray eyes staring back at you…

You shook your head. You had to focus today, or he’d end up killing you on accident. 

“You’re bad at pushing your haki into inanimate objects,” you said. 

He tried not to look offended by your critique, but you could see his entire body stiffen. “So?”

“We’re going to try having you push your haki into living things. A living thing.” You took a deep breath and gave him a confident smile. “Me.”

His eyes widened slightly. “Is that even possible?”

You gave a nod, holding out your hand. He took it, his calloused hand somehow both warm and clammy. He was nervous. Good. 

You gently squeezed his hand and sent a small burst of energy to it, pushing it from your body into his. 

He gasped as his fingers began to coat themselves in armament haki. 

“It’s difficult,” you admitted. “It takes a lot of skill and focus. If you push too much into someone who is not expecting it, they could die. But if you can master this-”

“No.” Zoro yanked his hand away from your grip. “We’re not doing it.”

“Yes we are. It’s the best way for you to learn control.”

He scowled, standing to his feet. “It’s too dangerous. We’ll find another way for me to learn. I just have to try harder with the stuffed animal.”

“Roronoa, it’s fine.”

“I could hurt you! I could kill-” he couldn’t bring himself to finish that sentence. 

“I’ll be expecting it,” you said softly. “You won’t kill me.”

“I’ll never forgive myself if I do. There has to be another way.”

This was starting to become time consuming. “Just sit down and try.”

His jaw flexed. “And if you die because of it?”

You gave a dry laugh. “The amount of haki you produce right now won’t kill me.” A lie, but a necessary one. You hadn’t seen haki like his before. That’s why you has spent so long building up energy. 

Your words seemed to calm him down. He trusted your bluff. But he still wasn’t comfortable. 

“We’ll take it slow,” you assured him. “Let’s try it.”

He took a long time to come back and sit down across from you. You could see that this was the last thing he wanted to do, but you continued to give him an encouraging smile as he rejoined you. 

You held your hands out, waiting for him to join yours. You could feel his gaze on you, and your cheeks instinctively pinked. 

“Roronoa.” You kept your gaze on your hands, waiting. Your nerves couldn’t buckle now. 

“Swear it,” he said sharply. “Swear that you know I can’t kill you.”

“You won’t.” Steeling yourself, your eyes darted up to meet his. “I know you won’t kill me.”

“I could hurt you though.” His eyes stayed locked onto yours. 

You nodded. Pain was something you couldn’t lie about. He would feel it when you were connected. “You could. Nothing permanent.”

You felt his calloused hands interlock with yours and your heart skipped a beat. 

“You swear?” His gaze was like an icy wind that sent chills up your spine. 

All you could do was nod. Your voice wouldn’t work. But thankfully, he seemed satisfied with that answer and he closed his eyes.

“Then tell me what to do.”

You explained it once and showed him how it worked a few times, and then let him figure the rest out on his own. 

It took him a long time before he was able to push haki into you, but you never let your guard down. It would be a deadly mistake to underestimate his energy. 

When his haki finally did come, it coursed through your muscles fast, shooting through your fingertips and up into your arms before you could even react to it. Your body seized in pain, and a moment later - before you could even push it out yourself - it was gone. 

So was Zoro. His hands yanked away from yours. You opened your eyes to find him staring at you in a panic. 

“I hurt you!” He snarled. “You said-”

“I said you wouldn’t kill me,” you snapped back. “Don’t pull your hands away like that! If you had left that level of haki in my body and broken the contact, we’d be in a whole different situation!”

“I hurt you,” he repeated. 

“The first time is always the worst,” you said. You couldn’t help the shiver that was sent down your spine at the thought of the pain he had just sent to your body. “You’ll get better.”

“No.”

“Roronoa-”

“No!” His voice was louder and sharper, which caused you to flinch. “You’re hurt. We can’t do this anymore!”

“I am not a child!” you screamed back. “Stop treating me like one! I know what I am capable of, and if I say I can handle this, then I can handle it!”

Zoro seemed to be taken aback by your outburst, but you didn’t care. Your body felt like it had just been electrocuted from his haki invading it and there was a ringing in your ears, but that was the last thing you needed him to know. 

“If you want my help, you’ll get your ass back on the pillow.” You paired your sharp words with a glare that even your father would have been proud of. “Or else you can fight your way off this island yourself.”

He pondered for a moment, and then sat back down across from you. 

“You can do this.” You mumbled it more to yourself than to Zoro, but he nodded in agreement and took your hands again.

Minutes passed by into hours, and you still never felt another jolt of pain like you had earlier. 

“Don’t be a scaredy cat, Roronoa. You’re holding back.”

“I’m going to hurt you again.” His voice came out softer than you expected. 

“Pain is a part of the learning process.”

He growled at your words. “I should be the one in pain, not you.”

“Fine!” You shoved haki into his body, overloading his senses, and then quickly pulled it away before he had time to yelp. “Now you’ve felt the pain I felt! We’re even. So do it again.”

“Bitch,” he muttered under his breath with a chuckle, but you could feel his body relax slightly. 

The second time it happened, there was a warning. A strange tension pushing against you, and then the haki shot into your hands. Painful, but not nearly as bad as the first time it occurred. You felt it begin to retreat, and you hissed out in warning. 

“Keep it steady,” you managed to get out. “You can feel my pain level, so adjust your haki levels until I’m no longer in pain.”

Minutes passed by, with only a small amount of changes in his haki levels as he continued to try and learn. You could feel it creep up your arm and then retreat to your fingertips, but the pain was always there. The prolonged level of pain was starting to make your bones ache, but you kept it at bay with your own reserves. 

“I can’t get it,” he whispered after a long bout of silence. He sounded frustrated and angry. 

“You can,” you encouraged through gritted teeth. “You can do it.”

And so you continued to sit, absorbing the pain he continued to give you until you weren’t sure you could keep going much longer. 

“We should stop,” he said. He was exhausted and defeated, but he hadn’t pulled his haki away from your body yet. 

“A few more minutes,” you whispered, your voice trembling. You were fairly certain there were tears streaming down your cheeks, though you knew he hadn’t seen them yet. “You can do it, Roronoa.”

“It’s Zoro,” he mumbled back quietly, but you felt his concentration focus back to the task at hand. 

And finally, you felt the pain recede. You didn’t have to open your eyes to know that his haki was still coating your hand. 

“Knew you could do it,” you said smugly, a smile dancing across your lips. 

He squeezed your hands and then pulled the haki out of your fingers and back into his body. “I have a good teacher.”

You finally opened your eyes to find the sun setting and your hands back to normal. You two had been at this all day. No wonder you were so exhausted. 

“We should get something to eat,” he said, finally pulling his hands away from yours. 

You quickly wiped your face, hoping he hadn’t seen the tear stains that had gathered there throughout the day. “I think I will just head to bed,” you said softly, giving him the best smile you could muster up. “Today was pretty exhausting.”

His face turned worried and he scanned you over. “What is it?”

“I’m just tired.” All you wanted to do was lay your head down and sleep. Recover.

“Fuck. Can you even stand?”

“Of course I can!”

He crossed his arms, staring at you in a silent challenge. To be honest, you weren’t sure if you could stand. You had planned to curl up on this pillow and fall asleep the moment he walked through the door. But you certainly couldn’t admit that. Not here. Not now. 

So you took a deep breath and willed your body into a standing position. You stood there, stubbornly locking eyes with the man in front of you, waiting for him to wipe that concerned look off his face. 

“Told you.” You tried to hide the labored breaths between words. “I’m fine.”

You took a step towards the castle, eager to get into bed. It was all you wanted. You were so, so tired. 

First your knees buckled. Zoro was there, catching you before your body met the stones. Then, everything went dark. 

---

Tags! @lukepolaroid @ellisaworld @darienjo @bi-narystars

If you'd like to be added to the tag list, add a comment or send me a message :)

[mackeydoodledoo]

She Wears Short Skirts, I Wear T-Shirts: Chapter 3

Pairing: Bridget (Cheerleader AU) x (Fem!)Reader

Chapter Summary: Continuing on hanging out with Bridget, she invites you to one of her Cheer competitions, however, you have a band competition the same day...

Chapter Warnings: Anxiety, Swearing

Chapter Key: Italics = Thoughts, +*+ = Time Skip, F/n = Friend's name, B/n = Band Name, Bold/Italic = Flashback

Chapter Theme: Aftertaste - Katie Gavin

A/n: n/a

------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Y/n's POV* You walk into school Monday, everything going back to its bleak, bland self...

"Hi Y/n," Bridget comes up to greet you

"Hey you," You smile

The both of you walk around the school...

"Your Sunday go okay?" She asks

"Yeah, I just went to work and finished any homework I had yet to get to," You say, "You?"

"Yeah, I got to sleep in," She says

"That must be nice," You say

"Hey so I have a question," She says

"Yeah?" You ask back, "Shoot."

"This Saturday, I have a cheer competition with the town's independent competitive cheer team," She begins, "It'd mean a lot to me if you came."

Wait...

"This... Saturday?" You ask

"Yeah, why?" She asks

"Band has a competition," You explain, "The competition that determines whether our and goes to State Finals..."

"Oh," Bridget puts on a smile, trying to hide that she was sad

But, she was terrible at hiding her sadness emotion.

"I'll try," You say

"You will?" She asks

"Of course," You smile, "I've never been to a cheer competition before. So it's bound to be an interesting time."

The both of you stop at her first period.

"Okay, I'll text you the details in like... the next few days," She says, "Hopefully I'll see you there..."

She disappears into the classroom.

+*+

You sit at the front desk at the record store...

Man.... Working some weeknights sucks...

But, you were able to make a few extra bucks whilst being in high school.

But the entire place was dead, other than your manager who was in the back, doing god-knows-what.

Hey whatcha doing? I'm at work... So bored... You? Laying in bed, where do you work? The local record store. Oh! I didn't know you worked there. Guess I'll have to come visit ;) It would sure beat being in here by myself. Don't you have a manager with you? I do, but he's always in the office. Part of me believes he only goes back there to sleep and let me do all of the work. Do you want me to come in and keep you company? I'm off soon, so it wouldn't be worth it. 'Preciate it though :) Always. Anyway, I just wanted to text you the information

You watch as your phone dings with the address to the high school Bridget was going to compete at.

Epic, well, I'm going to head out of here and then to bed. Goodnight Pinky. Night Emo ;)

+*+

You walk into the band room, coffee in hand.. You couldn't wait to be done with outdoor band...

"Captain! There she is!" Your bass 5 member greets you

You sigh as you go grab your drum for a sectional.

"You're lucky your drumline instructor likes you all enough to get breakfast," He says, gesturing to boxed up food behind him

"I can take over until you're done eating Y/n," f/n says

*Bridget's POV* You wake up to your alarm and get changed into some simple sweats, but packing your independent cheer team outfit into your backpack.

"I'm heading out," You say to your parents who were at the table

"Okay, we'll see you there," Your dad says

You exit the door and plug in your music as you approach the car parked at the curb of your house.

"Morning Bridge," F/n greets you

"Morning," You yawn

"Want to get coffee before we head to practice?" She asks

"Sure," You sigh

"Hey, you're not your usual chipper self in the morning, spill," She says

"I invited someone I like... And she said she had something very important to do," You begin, "I'm worried she'll miss it."

"First, it'll be her loss," f/n chuckles, "Second, don't let it get to your head today. It's another big day."

You nod.

+*+

You sit with your girls as you all much on catered food.

Hey you, rehearsals going good? Yeah, how about you? We finished, we're packing our equipment into our truck, and then heading to the competition site.

"Okay girls, let's run the routine one more time before heading out!" Your coach yells

You all get up and follow each other to the padded floor for another routine run.

Good luck at your competition. Good luck at yours :)

You board the bus and sit in your own seat as you drive to the competition.

+*+

You step off the bus and follow the coach to check-in. You look at your phone, hoping to see a text from Y/n...

Nothing...

Must be at her competition by now... Or even out on that field...

You set your belongings in the designated area and begin to stretch your body.

+*+

*Y/n's POV* You quickly, but efficiently put your drum away and quickly change into presentable sweats and quickly make your way to your car.

*Bridget's POV* Anxiety runs through you as you travel throughout the school, heading to warm up areas and then to the competition floor.

You've competed in the little Regional class competitions before, and finally earned your wya up to Independent class....

Why am I so nervous?...

As you get into place you look up one more time, hoping to see Y/n in the crowd. Last second, you see someone rushing to the stands. You weren't able to wait any second longer before the music began.

+*+

Your friends split off after they hand you the first place trophy.

"Oh Sweety that was amazing!" Your mom hugs you

"Thanks mom," You sigh into a smile, "I just wish Y/n was able to make it..."

"Oh, you didn't see her as you walked off the floor?" She asks

You blink at your parents in confusion... However, your dad points over your shoulder. Y/n leans against the wall.

"If you're going to hang out with her, go on," Your mom tells you

"We'll see you at home," Your dad says

Without a second thought, you run down the hall.

"You made it!" You practically jump into Y/n's arms

"I said I'd try," She says, "I made it just before you started performing."

So... That person running to the stands was her...

"Do you want to grab a bite to eat?" She offers, "I drove straight here as soon as we got back to the school and I'm kinda starving, and with a routine like that, I'm sure you are too."

Your stomach grumbles...

"You read my mind," You smile

"Come on," She says, "By the way, where's the rest of your team?"

"They all left," You say

"What a shame," She sighs, "I'd wonder if your independent cheer girls would have liked me too..."

"Do you wish for every girl to gawk over you?" You ask

"No!" She says, "Not at all. But, it'd be nice if your friends I have yet to meet would like me."

"I didn't know you cared about first impressions," You smile

"I don't but... Your prized drummer shows up at a Cheer competition," She chuckles, "She's out of her element here!"

You giggle, "Come on, let's get you out of it then."

+*+

Y/n drives to the same diner, and the both of you sit in a booth.

"What's it with you and this place?" You ask

"Could never go wrong with a good burger," They say, "And it's basically the only place I know how to get to by heart."

"Also, how did the band do?" You ask

"We're going to state finals," She smiles

"That's amazing!" You smile back, "I didn't have ant doubts the band wouldn't. They have the greatest drumline."

"Well, not to toot my own horn but we did win the award for best percussion," She says, sounding full of herself

"The town's united Cheer team also took first," You brag

"With a cheer routine like that, I wouldn't doubt it a single second," She says

"When's state finals?" You ask

"Next week," She answers

"That soon?!" You ask

*Y/n's POV* "Well, yeah," You say, "It's beginning to get too cold to do band things. Even if the state finals venue is indoors."

"How will you be able to revise the show on time?" Bridget asks

"You underestimate the ability to change a show with less than a week," You chuckle

"I'm serious!" She says

"I am too," You say, nonchalantly, "There have been times where we have changed a drill set the day before a competition. We all had it nailed in like... Thirty minutes."

"Thirty?!" Her eyes widen

You nod, "You know, if you joined marching band, you'd fit right in with the color guard."

"Really?" She looks at you

You nod again, "They're graceful, badass, and beautiful. They're also scary at times, but that's mostly when we're crossing between them as they spin their props. Did I tell you that they also spin more than just flags."

"I've seen it," She says, "They're awesome."

"Maybe, you should consider giving winter guard a try," You suggest, "I won't force you, but I'll send you some videos from my guard friends. I do winter percussion... As the drum set player."

"Oh, I wonder how you got that part," She smiles

"Well, I started out doing auxiliary percussion, then moved my way up to drum set," You explain, "Drumset is simply an extension of percussion."

"I'd totally come to one of your winter shows," She says

"Well... The ensemble I'm with is out of state...." You sigh, "One of the top 5 groups in the entire country."

"I'll make the drive," She says

"There's a lot of car mileage and gas involved," You attempt to deter her away from making the drive you do

"I don't care, I want to see whatever show you do," She says

"Well then I will keep you updated on my indoor drumline endeavors," You chuckle

+*+

After dinner, you drive her home...

"Hope I didn't take you from family stuff," You say

"They didn't mind," Bridget says, "As always, thank you for driving me home."

"Anytime pinky," You reply, "I shall see you on Monday."

Chapter 4

[itsphoenix0724]

Meet Me On The Ice (Azriel x reader)~Chapter 2

Warnings: None!

Word Count: 1.3k

MMOTI masterlist

A/N: Thank you for all the love on the first chapter! I've been working on this series for a while, and I'm glad people are excited to read it! I've decided to make a tag list for this series because so many people asked for it last time. I've never done one before so I hope I do it right <3

DISCLAIMER: I am not a figure skater or a hockey player, so while I'm trying to be as accurate as possible, it's likely some things may not be correct and/or are bent a little to fit the plot!

You find Azriel on the ice at five pm sharp, his hands tucked in the pockets of a Velaris Univeristy hoodie. His eyes flick over you, almost with disgust, as you approach with a box tucked under your arm. 

“We’re not going on the ice today. Even if we were you can’t wear those.” You gesture to the well-loved hockey skates on his feet, and mark how his eyes narrow. 

“What’s wrong with my skates?” He asks, immediately on the defense, crossing his arms. 

It makes him seem impossibly bigger.  

“Nothing Azriel, if you’re playing a hockey game, but we’re not playing a hockey game.” You shake the box in your hands once before handing it over to him. The pair of shiny black figure skates sit in the box and Azriel takes one skate out running his scarred hand gently over the blade with a musician’s grace. “You should break them in before we actually get on the ice.” 

“They’re heavier than I thought they would be,” Az tucks the skates gently back in the box and moves past you to get off the ice. He sits down on the bench, leaning down to undo his laces. “Where are we practicing then, if we’re not going on the ice?’ He looks up at you from under the dark fringe of his hair, and you’re struck with his beauty for a moment. 

“We’re going to the studio in the back.” You make a gesture with your head as he stands, crowding your space. You have to crane your neck to look up at him, and you can’t even see around the expanse of his shoulders. Leading back him to the studio you walk in tense silence. Your coach, a beloved old lady named Alis, waiting infront of the mirror examines Azriel like a piece of meat. 

“So, this is who you’re finishing the season with?” She looks him up and down with mild interest as you dip your chin in confirmation, setting your bag down to start warming up. Alis circles like a predator as Azriel watches with confused disinterest. “Nice build at least, looks strong if a little bulky for my taste,” she mutters. Azriel whips his head back at you in defense, but all you can do is breathe a sigh of relief. Getting Alis to agree to train someone other than Lucien was half the battle. “Alright, stretch, then I’ll see what I’m working with. Hopefully, we can piece together some semblance of a routine,” She shakes her head as you turn to Azriel. 

“Do you want me to help you stretch?” You question and Azriel’s brows raise high, a smirk across his lips for just a moment at an insinuation you didn’t imply. Your cheeks tinge with 

pink, and his eyes dip to your cheeks, satisfaction from rattling you dances in his eyes. “Not like that obviously,” You scoff, rolling your eyes and busying yourself with digging out your water bottle so you have an excuse to turn away from him. 

“I don’t think I need to stretch like this is a ballet class, I can stretch myself” He shakes his head and you roll your eyes. 

“Fine, suit yourself.” Let him dig his grave. You know he’s doing you a favor, but he doesn’t have to be so condescending about it. You fall into a spilt to stretch your legs and Azriel looks at you out of the corner of his eye. You finish your warm-up, and Az remains leaning against the wall, stealing glances at you when he thinks you’re not looking. He stretched his arms out a little and nothing else, so it’s his fault if he’s sore tomorrow. 

“Alright,” Alis claps her hands together once, and both your attention’s snap to her like a knee-jerk reaction. You guess being coached vigorously for years can do that to a person. “Let’s see if we can get something together. Young man, stand here please.” She gestures to a spot on the floor and then calls your name, telling you to stand infront of Azriel. 

You’ve never been so close to him before.

Your entire back pressed against his front, the sight in the mirror sends you a strange feeling in your stomach. His frame dwarfs you easily, the broad planes of his shoulders and the muscles of his arms strain against the compression shirt he had on for practice. 

You could climb him like a tree

The thought hits you so suddenly that you feel the heat flood your cheeks as you finally meet hazel eyes in the mirror. If he noticed you ogling him, he thankfully says nothing. 

You go over some transition moves which go shockingly okay, Az picks up on the rhythm surprisingly quickly body flowing like a river easily through the steps. You make a mental note to ask Rhys if Az plays an instrument. Alis looks impressed for a first practice, and you two were so concentrated you haven’t bitten each other’s heads off yet. 

Until you start to try a couple of lifts. 

Everything goes downhill from there. Az manages to get you in the air a couple of times, but it’s never stable. Either you’re too tense or his grip is all wrong, and you’ve hit the ground and Azriel’s shoulder too many times to count. You both are frustrated and then the harsh words start. 

“Can you just fucking relax already so we can get this over with? Aren’t you supposed to know what you’re doing?” he growls out after Alis calls for a water break. 

“Maybe if you could just get your stupid hands in the right position I could fucking relax,” You glower down at Azriel’s scarred hands and he shoves them in the pockets of his sweats angrily. You feel a wave of guilt instantly because that was possibly the worst thing you could say. 

“It’s not working because you don’t trust each other,” Alis mutters, rolling her eyes as she tries to figure out something on her cellphone. “I’m going to suggest maybe spending some time together outside of this. To build some trust between the two of you.” You and Azriel eye each other with equal distaste. “Think about it, we’re done here for the day.” You’re frustrated, you’re sweating, and you’ve hit your hip enough times you think it’s been permanently bruised. You pack up your bag slinging the duffel over your shoulder, he copies your actions putting his new skates to the bottom of his hockey bag. You leave the rink together in silence, breathing in the chill of the night's dark air, letting it calm the flames of your ever-growing temper. You want to go home, you want to bury yourself under mountains of pillows and ice cream and scream at the unfairness of the world. The last thing you need is a group of drunk hockey players rallying after a loss. 

And of fucking course they’re right next to your car. 

Azriel’s about to walk in the other direction to his car, but you in a blind panic grab his arm. 

“Walk me to my car.” You plead, eyes widening at the sound of a bottle smashing against the ground. “Please.” Azriel's eyes narrow in confusion before they flick over to the crowd of rowdy men. He nods once and you begin the trek across the parking lot with a sizeable distance between the two of you. They still stop and look at you, eyeing you like a piece of meat. Azriel notices, in a quiet observant way of his. He moves closer to you slinging one arm around your waist, it burns through your clothes like a brand. They wisely back off then with all of Az’s towering physique wrapped around you like a guard dog. He opens your door for you and shoves his phone in your hand, still eyeing the group like he’s about to pounce. 

“Put your number in my phone, it’ll be easier for the future.” He’s still looking at the guys out of the corner of his eyes as you type your number. “Drive home safely,” Az mutters. 

“You too,” you respond. You settle into your car, and Azriel waits patiently for you to back out and drive away before walking to his own car.

Taglist:

sidthedollface2, bionic-donut, lyinginameadow, feyretopia, natashachelsea, going-through-shit, mika-no-sekai-blog, hijabi-desi-bookworm, brandywineeeee

[coloradocharmiegirl]

Chapter 42 here --New 4/20/24

Summary:

With Armie heading out to fight the wildland fire at Murphy Creek, Timmy faces some uncomfortable truths about what loving a firefighter really means, and makes promises, to himself and others, about how he'll make sure they never end up in such a mess again.

Excerpt:

Timmy reached up and brushed a finger over his medallion, the piece of Armie that had hung around his neck since that very first night. Life had somehow brought him back here, back to Armie–the man who made pancakes laced with vanilla to celebrate 3-month anniversaries, who touched both his body and soul in ways no other person ever had. The man who unlocked hidden desires, tied deft knots, and matched Timmy round for round–the noble man who cared so fiercely and, though he’d never said so in so many words, made Timmy feel loved.

He’d wobbled at the worst possible time, and now Armie was far away, facing danger. Timmy brought the medallion to his lips and pressed a kiss against it, sending a prayer to the universe for Armie’s safety, knowing he needed to be strong. He couldn’t fall apart, not now–not when Armie needed him to take care of the things he’d had to leave behind in the face of duty.

Or start from the beginning here.

Hello! I know it's been a while, and I'm sorry. But hopefully this will have been worth the wait. I sincerely appreciate each and every one of you who has hung around and is still reading--thank you from the bottom of my heart, truly. I was recently reminded that this story has been going on nearly 3 years now and isn't finished, and that it's a lot to ask people to keep reading after so long. And I get it, I do. There's more to come, but if you ever want to stop reading, just know that these boys have a happy ending, so you can step away with a happy heart.

💙💚CCG

[redrose10]

Upcoming fic! First chapter hopefully posted this week, but my baby’s first birthday party is this weekend so things might get a little crazy. I decided to do chapters because it seems like I get less stressed out about trying to finish it when I can take little breaks in between.

Of course another Yoongi one but what can I say?

Yoongi x Female Reader. Soulmate AU

Summary: There’s no one on this planet you hate more than your coworker/secret crush Min Yoongi. He’s an arrogant, rude, womanizer who gets under your skin every single shift and you can’t wait for your day to be over so you can get away from him. Unfortunately when Jimin, your caseworker from The Ministry of Adoration, shows up offering you both a raspberry jam filled cookie, things take a surprising turn for the worst and you can no longer get away.

Warnings: Swearing, hints of smut (nothing graphic or really detailed), mentions of death, a little angst, Yoongi gets around. Might get updated later

[iaminfourthwing]

The Generals Daughter

Chapter XIII

The day that every first year, that is still alive, dreads, is finally here. Threshing.

The gathering hall is oddly quiet this morning, every first year lost in their own thoughts. Violet next to me looks a little green and minutes prior I saw Ridoc running to find the nearest bathroom or trash bin. I ate a little bit of fresh fruits because after all, I am nervous as fuck as well.

The general seemed so sure about me claiming a dragon, but right now … I am not so sure anymore. The fact that I have to see him again, if I claim a dragon today, makes me swallow anxiously. If I fail … I don’t want to know what happens then.

My eyes find the bright blue ones Liam owns and he gives me an encouraging smile. He is one of the best in this quadrant, there is no doubt of him claiming a dragon. I bet he isn’t as nervous as everyone else here. Even Barlowe is quiet, and that must mean something but after all, he is just human as well.

A shiver runs through me as I can feel someone staring at me and when I look up, the startling hazel-colored eyes, that even follow me in my dreams, are studying me. He looks like he is somewhere trapped in his mind and even over the distance I can see the worry and anxiety radiating from him. I give him a small tight-lipped smile, which he returns.

Half an hour later we are all gathered at the entrance of the bowl-shaped forested valley, where we’ll hopefully find our dragons or our possible death. I had to promise Violet that I’ll let her go alone but I will definitely stay near her. I won’t take the risk and lose her. She is strong, she has proven herself over the last months, but the way Jack and his entourage look her way … I’ll definitely trust my instincts and follow her through the valley. When it comes to the dragons, there isn’t much I can do, that’s when I’ll leave her.

Dain stands beside her and whispers probably some instructions into her ear. He looks just as worried as I feel about her but even as he knows what she is capable of, he still doesn’t appreciate her strength. Idiot.

When we finally get the go, some of the cadets eagerly run into different directions while others walk slow, unsure into the valley.

Violet is around 50 feet in front of me, so I take a deep breath and start to go after her.

For around half an hour I simply just walk behind her as quietly as possible. A few dragons could be heard in the distance, even cadets screaming. The short girl suddenly halts. “I know you are here” she says, without turning around. My eyes widen. Fuck, she is good. I should have expected that.

“Sorry Vi, but I am not taking the chance and risk your life, without trying to protect you” there is guilt in my voice, but I know, I am doing the right thing.

“You saw me fight these last months, you saw me getting stronger and even then, you still don’t trust me? Don’t trust what I can do? Am I really that weak to you, that you desperately try to protect me? I know you have to do this because of my moth-“

“NO! I do not do this because of your mother! I do this because you are my friend, no, more like a sister! I believe wholeheartedly in you! I am so proud of you and your growth; you have no idea. But I do not trust Jack and his hounds. We both know you all alone have no chance against the four of them. I really just wanna help you” I finish.

For a few minutes she just stands there, looking at me with nothing but adoration. “You know, if we would have been into girls, I would totally kiss you right now” she finally says as we both continue our walk through the valley. I laugh. “But here we are, totally into boys we aren’t allowed to have.”

She snaps her neck my way, wide eyed. Oh, fucking hell. “You what?! You too?!?! Who?”

Shit. Me and my loud mouth. “Well … I mean- maybe- a certain ... cousin … of your … little crush” I stutter, admitting my interest in the handsome male.

Her jaw drops in pure surprise and shock. “HIM?! Oh my-“

We hear a little growl somewhere in front of us. I try to look between the trees and see … something golden? Oh no. Violet seems to have the same thought.

“The feathertail” we whisper simultaneously. We both step forward into the clearing, where we get a better view of the little dragon.

“Gosh, it’s so cute” I whisper. As if the dragon heard me she looks up … offended?

“Oh god, sorry, I didn’t mean to insult you” I say, panic dripping in my voice while Violet snickers quietly beside me.

The dragon looks curious at us both and steps forward when we hear something snapping behind us. Like someone is walking into our direction. I have an extremely unsettling feeling, who that could be. To small and quiet for a dragon, it's definitely a human. More like, a bunch of humans.

“You have to hide or fly away!” Vi whisper shouts to the little golden one. “Go! Fly!” We both run to hide behind the trees, but Vi stumbles over a branch and falls. “Shit Vi, you okay?” I ask her while helping her up. I think I heard a pop but am not sure.

“Damn it, my ankle … go hide” she hisses in agony.

Reluctantly I let her go and hide behind another tree. In the last second, I decide to climb the tree, hovering a bit over Violet and see everything that’s going to happen. And just a few seconds later Jack with his lapdogs come out of the tree line. Shit. I hate when I am right in the wrong situations.

“We have to kill this little thing! It’s a danger for everyone!” Jack says loudly.

Tynan, Oren and Trevor are behind him. While the other three are determined walking to the little golden dragon, Oren looks unsure whether he should join this shitshow. They seriously want to murder a dragon? Are they really that dumb? I can only hope some other dragons are possibly near and hear, what these pathetic humans want to do. Or at least a third year, that could talk some sense into them, even though with Jack there is probably nothing we could do besides throw him into a cell and never let him see the daylight again.

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. What if one if the third years see us” Oren says. “They aren’t allowed to interfere” Jack shrugs.

“You can’t do this!” Violet says loudly, stepping out from behind the tree. Shocked I look down to her. Fucking. Hell. Violet.

I stay seated.

“And why not, Sorrengail?” Tynan sneers. “It’s against everything we stand for and believe in!” Oren still looks unsure about Jacks plan to kill the little dragon.

While they are insulting each other and Violet trying to get the dragon to flee, I feel something prickling in my head. Like … someone tries to ... reach me? I definitely need more sleep. This is getting ridiculous.

‘Oh, so now I am ridiculous?’ a feminine voice says in my head. I- HELLO?!

‘No need to scream, I hear just fine. Just because my ears are old doesn’t mean I am deaf.’

Oh fantastic. It’s sassy.

‘I need to help my friend before I can deal with you!’ I hiss in my head. I need therapy. Is there any therapist in Basgiath?

‘Well now you sound ridiculous.’ I try to ignore her, for now.

“I would advise against trying to do that” a dark voice echoes over the field. On the other side stands our wing leader and behind him, between the trees, shimmer … golden eyes. Sgaeyl. His dragon. And the way her eyes are fixed on the boys in front of Violet tells me how annoyed she is.

“And what if we don’t listen to you? You can’t do anything, Riorson” Jack mocks him. “That may be true, but Sgaeyl isn’t really a fan of bullies” To underline the statement, there is a deep growl echoing through the trees. Oh, she is definitely pissed.

Xadens eyes find mine and he smirks.

“Besides that, it’s not Sgaeyl you should be worried about right now” he says.

“Whatever” Jack growls and leaps forward into Violets direction. She throws a dagger with unbelievable precision into his shoulder and with a shout he goes down. That’s my girl.

While Trevor stays behind, Tynan and Oren attack together. Now I am thankful for the bow and arrows I grabbed as my weapon of choice, because the arrow I aimed landed directly in Tynans thigh. I jump down the tree and join the fight.

“Oh fantastic, the Generals little warrior princess is here too! Have you found yourself a dragon already? Surely Codagh or daddy must have bullied them to claim you!” Jack sneers and runs. First he says THAT again, and in front of the dragons too??? And then he runs? What a coward. But I can’t keep my focus on him when Trevor is attacking me as well. I hear Violet grunting somewhere behind me. Fuck, I need to focus.

‘Watch out!’ the feminine voice shouts in my head. ‘I know’ I growl back.

With my dagger I land a deep blow in Tynans abdomen. He screams in agony as I cut through him. He’ll bleed out if he won’t get any medical treatment. So far, I am completely unharmed.

I join Violets side in front of the golden dragon, to protect the little thing.

‘If she hears you calling her ‘little thing’ she’ll try to bite you’ there she is again. ‘Oh, so it’s a she’

‘Andarnaurram. Andarna for short’

Well thanks?

‘You’re welcome’

Oh, for fucks sake.

“Are you okay, Silver one?” I ask the girl next to me. “I’ll live. Hopefully” she says.

“I won’t let anything happen to you” I growl pissed. During the fight Xaden must have stepped forward, because he is not leaning against his tree anymore. As if he wanted to… to help Vi? Damn, talk about whipped.

Oren lays unconscious in front of us after Vi knocked him out with the grip of her dagger, Tynan stands behind him ready to strike again and Trevor is a bit more far away. My eyes are fixed on him because I know for sure he wants his revenge for the challenge he lost against me.

Suddenly, both of them look ridiculously shocked and Trevor runs into the forest. A dark shadow flies over the field and when I turn around, I flinch violently. The black dragon. He is incredibly big but not as big as the black beast. And he looks pissed. I move out of the way the same time as Violet.

Tynan tries to run away but his thigh is still wounded due to the arrow sticking in it and the blood loss of the wound in his abdomen. The black dragon growls loudly and then … there is fire. In just a few seconds there is nothing but the smell of burning flesh and death in the air.

Xaden and Sgaeyl are long gone.

“I can’t kill an unconscious man!” Violet suddenly says while looking up the dragon. What?!

“Yeah, that surely says something about them but not me.”

Oh. Oh my god. My eyes widen. The dragon, THE black dragon is choosing her! I am a bit jealous of her I have to admit.

‘Excuse me?!’ someone is offended.

‘Well while you are watching your friend bond with Tairn, I am waiting for you! There is a boy here, trying to claim me but I am just bored by him. You think you can finally show up?’ she asks annoyed.

‘What boy?’ I ask curious while I make my way to her. My feelings are leading me through the woods, leaving Violet behind me. Whatever happens now is out of my control. I just hope she can stay seated, or Tairn is catching her if she falls.

‘The one that just ran away from you before Tairn showed up’ she says.

The boy that run- oh HELL NO! Trevor! That is MY dragon, you fucker! I run through the woods as fast as I can to reach them. She chose me, so therefore he can fuck off. I reach the part of the valley, where she leaded me and step forward into the clearing.

‘Oh, now you accept me, little flame?’ she asks amused.

‘Little flame?’ Where does this come from?

‘Your hair is resembling fire’ Ah, makes sense.

And that’s when I see him, Trevor in front of a … massive midnight blue dragon. Amari, she is gorgeous. ‘Thank you, I can say the same about you.’

Furious, the boy turns around and glares at me. This is going to get dirty.

‘Show me, what you are made of and you will never have to fight alone anymore, little flame.’

Come on Trevor. I’ll rip you apart.