#have one thing finished that I’ll hopefully remember to post tomorrow

[angielalalu]

I’ve been really really tired lately but at the same time I’ve also felt way more motivated to draw n write

And have actually made progress on both art and story stuff 🙌

[jjunieworld]

hi everyone!! i just want to give a little more insight into the salt under the sea and it’s progress thus far. a lot of people have been asking me when it’s coming out or why hasn’t it come out yet and i want to inform everyone.

(putting explanation under the cut because it is kinda long!) trigger warning: death, mental health issues and general health issues, and depression

if you haven’t noticed, for the past couple months there would be times where i was very inactive, like up to a month of inactivity here and there. i even took a month long hiatus. to put it bluntly, the hiatus was because my beloved dog had died and it really hurt me deeply. i literally grew up with my dog and so did my family, so to see my dog’s life come to an end made me really depressed and honestly i wasn’t even thinking about writing at all.

after a little over a month i came back and i thought i was ready to start writing again but then i just got hit by a bunch of health issues back to back (hence all the doctor’s appointments i’ve mentioned). it’s all been really exhausting honestly and just pushed me deeper into a dark place that i’ve been trying to get out of for a while now. let’s not even talk about how fucked my adhd is right now😭

things have settled down now (hopefully!!!!), and i’ve been trying to get my motivation for writing back. things are still slow as i get back into the groove and i’ve been trying to not push myself to hard so i don’t get burnt out and i don’t get writer’s block.

so yeah😭…. to anyone wondering that’s why the salt under the sea has taken so long to come out, and why it still isn’t out yet. please be patient with me… i really am trying, i promise. and please remember that i am human and i am one person and i’m not just a writing machine for random stranger on tumblr’s enjoyment. i’ve been writing as much as i can when i can, but i’ve been busy and preoccupied these past couple months.

honestly… not sure if anyone is still hyped for the salt under the sea, but when i finish it i’m gonna post it anyways because i didn’t go through all of this for nothing LMAOO… i feel like majority of the hype for it has died down severely since it’s been like almost three months😭😭

if anyone has read this far i just want to say thank you for reading and understanding!! ♡♡ i’m really hoping that i’m able to write more and write more quickly for you guys… the wip page for the salt under the sea will be updated with a release date once i’m close to finishing it, so if anybody is still tuned it… stay tuned for that lmao…😭

i’ll be getting back to the salt under the sea tomorrow!!! my throat and back has just been killing me today…

[girlhare]

You Make Me Warm And Fuzzy Inside

A fic I have written set in, but not featuring any characters from (they are deeply compelling characters, but I feel the text itself has explored them enough that all I'd be writing would be more and worse scenes) the world of In The World Of Monsters, an excellent G/T safe vore fic written by @toast-tales that made me deeply enjoy both of those things, despite them not typically being what I'm into.

Technically, this could be part of a larger narrative, but... I sorta just wanted to write this scene instead of getting wrapped up and burnt out? I might post a follow-up or prequel to this at some point, but for now I like it where it is.

F/F safe vore, g/t, oral vore, both characters are trans women

Sienna gingerly picked up Annette from the desk between two fingers, staring at her with a nervous grin. This close to the giant- in her grasp- Annette could notice even more differences than she could before. Her skin was softer than she remembered, colder, and her body hairs were thinner. Hopefully her stomach would still have the balmy, comforting temperature she loved from being within Sienna before. Even if she was doing this for Sienna, Annette still wanted to have a calm, comforting time within her oldest friend. 

“So… you know that I haven’t had a human since our last time… but what about you, Annette? Any rebounds after me?” 

It was clear that she was still new to voice training- though all giant voices sounded more resonant to a human. It was unrefined- inconsistent compared to Annette’s voice. Sometimes she slipped into a deeper, more familiar register.

“Y’know, I haven’t. It’s hard to make time for it. Your schedules have to line up with the giant's, you have to know them well enough to trust them- and plus, I haven’t felt the same… spark with anyone but you, M-” She corrected herself, instead of finishing the deadname. Old habits die hard. ”Sienna. Glad I made time for this with you.”

The experience of being held by a giant was always strange. In the stomach, they were everything. Now, it wasn’t that overwhelming- but they still had total control over you. Control you had to trust them with. Sienna cupped her other hand under Annette, gingerly releasing her into her palm. 

“...Well, I’m glad you did too.”

They were in silence for a moment as Sienna brought Annette over to the bed. She brought her other hand over, cupping them over Annette so she wouldn’t be jostled and fall. A few beams of light shone through the gaps between Sienna’s fingers. A little prelude to the main event, in a way.

When Sienna’s hands opened, Annette was sitting on her bare stomach, staring up at her face beyond the low hill of her sports bra. She was honestly kind of jealous- with a trans woman’s frame, it’s hard to find clothes that fit well. As a giant, she wouldn’t have to go through two layers of specialty goods- just one. Behind her, the folds of Sienna’s sweatpants seemed like the dunes of some vast desert. 

Sienna’s stomach rumbled below her. Annette rose and fell with the slow, sonorous sounds of Sienna’s breathing.

“It really wants to see you! I’ll let you get there at your own pace, though.”

Honestly, Sienna… did not have that much time. She needed to study, she needed to prep for her finals tomorrow- but she just couldn’t. She was too stressed. This was going to help relieve it. It’s why she called Annette in the first place.

Annette, sensing Sienna’s impatience, started to walk up her body- quickly arriving at her chest with just a few steps. The ‘ground’ of Sienna’s body was a bit more unsteady here; walking on her sports bra, she had to lean over and rest a hand on one of Sienna’s breasts- at which point the entire body around her shook, and Annette lost her balance. 

“Ow! Ow-”

Sienna cupped a hand under Annette, raising her up. Annette was confused for a moment, then-

“Oh! Right, sorry, you’re freshly on estrogen and they’ll be really sensitive, right?”

Sienna’s blush would’ve been apparent to a giant, but to a human, it was overwhelming. The giant’s entire focus was on her- and she’d managed to make her blush, by accident. Annette knew how to make Sienna squirm back in the day, but she wasn’t sure if she still had it until now. There was a long moment of silence before Sienna spoke.

“...I- uh- sorry. I should’ve remembered that. If I had moved wrong, or-”

Annette raised a hand and pinched Sienna’s skin. It didn’t hurt, but it got her attention, interrupting  her. It was how she used to get her attention when Sienna got lost in thought, or was too busy with her own words to realize Annette wanted to talk.

“Well- if you want to keep me safe, you know the best way to do it, right? It’s what we’re here for.”

“...yeah, you’re right.” Sienna cupped her hands, as if she was about to drink water from them. She adjusted so she was sitting up, her back against the head of the bed, a pillow supporting her. Best not to eat lying  down, after all.

She brought Annette closer. This near to the mouth as it opened to consume her she could smell Sienna’s breath; she had swapped toothpaste in the years they hadn’t seen each other. Her saliva had a slightly different consistency, and under her tongue was a bright teal blue smear; the remains of sublingual estrogen, each pill the size of her hand.

Sienna’s tongue extended out of her mouth, receiving Annette from her hands. She took a few moments to taste her, completely and utterly; her taste had changed. Was she on a different hormone regimen now? She’d have to ask her next morning, when she could actually answer. 

Annette started to say something, but Sienna wasn’t focused on that. She swallowed, enjoying the pleasant weight of her prey in her throat as it travelled downwards.

For Annette the experience was much different. Sienna had been her focus before, but there had been other sensory input; the sound of the AC slowly humming in the window, Sienna’s computer fan, traffic outside. Now, everything was Sienna. The throat was incredibly tight around her, drawing her downwards, downwards, downwards. She’s glad her breasts weren’t nearly as sensitive as they had been when she started estrogen, even if it still did hurt a bit to be getting so tight a digestive hug. 

Eventually, she was deposited in the stomach. Sienna’s breathing, her heart, the automatic actions of her body; those were Annette’s world now, and this tight little chamber. She wanted to give Sienna a little massage; she wanted to listen to her talk; to listen to her study. She wanted to enjoy this… but… she was so tired. She hadn’t realized how tired she’d been today; she had work on Monday- though that was so far away, and couldn’t reach her in here, so protected by Sienna. She falls asleep, breathing in time with the body around her. 

Sienna feels the anxiety of her upcoming finals disappear as Annette takes the edge off of her. She should… study. Right? Yeah, she should study. She was going to stay up late and study, she drank coffee before this to do so… but she feels Annette go still inside her, and the steady rise and fall of breathing in the stomach, synchronized with her.

Maybe she can nap… for just a bit… set an alarm…… she’s asleep before she can finish the thought, in the uncomfortable position she had swallowed Sienna in.

She’ll curse herself for it tomorrow, but for now, Annette and Sienna have their first good nights of sleep in a very, very long time. When Sienna dreams, she dreams of finishing up college, getting a job, and asking Annette to move in with her.

[tgmsunmontue]

Another Time (Chapter 7/14)

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX

Summary: Jake wakes up in Rooster's body ~30 hours post-Mission and they have to deal with it. They're adults. Apparently.

(Posting on Tumblr, chapter a day until it's complete (currently 14 chapters already written), after it's complete I will post it on AO3 once a day until it's completed there as well).

Odd chapter = Jake POV, Even chapter = Bradley POV

CHAPTER SEVEN

                He can hear Phoenix’s voice with his own, talking. He feels better, his mind much less foggy and his stomach is grumbling in anticipation for food rather than threatening to empty itself at the mere suggestion. He needs to use the bathroom and he sniffs an armpit and frowns, surprised to find that he maybe doesn’t need a shower.

                “Hey. How are you feeling?” Rooster asks, appearing in the door.

                “I’m feeling better… still in quite a bit of pain, but the headache is gone. So has the nausea.”

                “That’s good to hear, was starting to feel bad you were having to deal with it all.”

                “Well, let me help you assuage your guilt. I need the john.”

                “So romantic,” Rooster says, but he’s fetching the crutches and holding his hand out to help carefully pull Jake to standing.

                “I thought we were putting a pin in that,” Jake grunts as he becomes vertical, the ankle not liking the movement, throbbing again and he guesses he’s probably due for more pain killers. It’s not accompanied by any dizziness or nausea though, so he’ll take the small wins.

                “A pin is definitely in it. And you can probably shower by yourself next time…”

                “What? You… we showered together?” Jake asks, because he doesn’t have any recollection of that and that’s a crying shame.

                “I showered you. You tried to get me undressed and got me very wet in the process.”

                “First shower together and I don’t even remember it,” Jake murmurs and Rooster steps into his space, one hand going to his waist to steady him and Jake sways forward.

                “You’ll remember it next time.”

                “Promise?”

                “Yeah,” Rooster says, the word so quiet it’s a whisper between them and he’s being kissed again and it’s better than the first one. He feels fingers curl into the cloth of the t-shirt he’s wearing, feels the warm brush of skin on skin and his entire body seems to ripple with awareness. It’s still gentle, hopefully in deference to the bruises and pain rather than any hesitance on Rooster’s part. Although, kissing himself does feel very weird.

                “Go on, I’ll be right here,” Rooster says, drawing back and smoothing a hand over his side.

                He slowly maneuvers himself off to the bathroom, hears Rooster and Phoenix talking again and part of him is annoyed by her presence. Wants Rooster to himself, which is ridiculous. He’s in the man’s body, he can’t get much closer. He finishes up and moves back to the bedroom and Rooster is sitting on the bed waiting for him, helps him settle back and raise his ankle on additional cushions.

                “So, I need to explain some things. Because we’re meant to have an official debrief tomorrow –” Rooster says, and Jake swears under his breath, he’d forgotten about that. “But this is where I begin with my explanation. And you’ve already put some things together. You know my dad and Mav flew together…”

                “Yeah. I’m sorry about –”

                “We can have that conversation another time,” Rooster interjects and Jake nods. “One thing at a time. So. Mav effectively became my father figure. He was there for all my birthdays and Christmases that he could. Me and my mom would meet him when he got back from deployment. He… he was my dad.”

                Jake isn’t an idiot, knows the weight of the word was.

                “What happened?”

                “He pulled my papers for the Academy.”

                “What,” Jake says, blinking, because that makes zero sense. It’s not even a question, just a disbelieving statement.

                “Yeah, and I didn’t take it too well. I went and enlisted and then went incommunicado for over fifteen years.”

                “Ooohhh shit,” Jake mutters, tries to imagine not talking to his family for that long. “Wait, so when he walked into the room a few weeks ago…?”

                “First time I’d seen him up close since.”

                “Rooster… Jesus. I’m so sorry.”

                “Well, we’ve kind of made up. Well. No. We haven’t. But we’ve agreed to try. To talk. But haven’t really had that chance yet.”

                “Okay. But it’s coming right?”

                “Right. Like a storm. Plus there’s more.”

                “More?” Fuck if he owes Rooster a thousand apologies for bringing up his dad’s history with Mav.

          ��     “Yeah, so. When I was thirteen, my mom died. Mav became my official dad, did the whole adoption thing, which I look back with hindsight and wonder how the fuck he managed that, but it happened.”

                “Okay. Mav is your Dad. Well, at least I’m on his good side already,” Jake says, attempting to lighten the tone at least a little although he feels like it fails miserably.

                “He’s not the one you have to impress…”

                A recent memory forces its way to the front of his mind and he groans.

                “You’ve got to be shitting me… Admiral Kazansky?”

                “What?”

                “Him and Mav right? They’re together?”

                “How… how do you know that?” Rooster asks, and Jake almost laughs at the deeply suspicious look on his own face.

                “I saw them talking on the carrier.”

                “Just talking?”

                “Yeah. But the Admiral told Mav he loved him and that he’d see him at home, and Mav replied with I love you and then I was getting on the greyhound…”

                “Yeah. They were together. I don’t ever remember them not being together. Nat said we can probably tell him about this… situation, and he could do our debrief…”

                “Phoenix knows?”

                “Yes. She’s my best friend. Although she didn’t know about Ice until tonight.”

                “Okay.” Absolutely fucking mind-blowing that Bradshaw is calling the COMPACFLT Ice.

                “She’s getting Coyote to come around so you can tell him what’s going on. And Bob. Anything else you think might help?”

                Javy. Just knowing his closest friend is on his way makes him feel lighter and he gets it then, that’s maybe why Rooster has Phoenix hanging out in his kitchen.

                “Painkillers? And food?”

                “Sure thing.”

EIGHT

[canonicallyobserving911]

WIP Wednesday

Fanonwriter2023 on AO3

Where CANON and FANON collide!

Season 7 FANON Speculation

I wasn’t tagged by anyone but I wanted to share two snippets from Chapter 5 of my multi-chapter fic titled “I’m still in love with you but... I needed to learn how to love myself too!”

The closer I get to completing chapter 5, the more excited I get because things are getting even more angsty than they already were for Buck and Eddie.  My goal is to finish this chapter and edit it soon, so hopefully, I’ll be able to post it by the end of the week. ___________ Here are two snippets from chapter 5 because Eddie’s still in El Paso and Buck just arrived in Hershey. ___________

Eddie

“Like you said Eddie, it’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other.  I almost didn’t recognize you yesterday but I knew it was you after I heard your voice. What have you been up to?  Do you still live in El Paso?”

Eddie shakes his head no and echoes his answer.  “No, I live in Los Angeles.”

“Really, you live in L.A.?”

“Yeah.  I’ve been there for almost six years now.”

“I guess that old saying about time flies is true then, huh?”

Eddie nods.

Dorian looks at him then asks, “What do you do in L.A.?  For a living I mean.”

“I’m a firefighter and a medic with the LAFD.  And you, what do you do?”

“I’m a real estate broker and I dabble in investments, mostly Cryptocurrency as a hobby but I also own a couple of stocks listed on the S&P 500.”

“Ok, that’s interesting.”

“Yeah, it is.  I never thought I’d end up in real estate but El Paso is growing and for the last 10 years, the population has surged tremendously.  There’s a new subdivision not too far from here that my firm was hired to handle all the sales for.  It’s called “New Beginnings”.”

“Really?”  Eddie asks as his eyebrows go up because that’s the same subdivision where he looked at an open house last week.  

“Yeah, it keeps me busy.” Dorian takes a sip of his water. “After two years of non-stop work, I finally decided to take some time off so I could spend time with my kids.”

Eddie chuckles and says, “This is my first vacation ever.  I mean I’ve taken time off work before but it was for doctor’s appointments for me or my son but this is my first time taking more than one or two days off at one time”.

Will Eddie make the decision to move back to El Paso after he has dinner with an old friend from high school?

___________

Buck

Buck finds and empty barstool, he sits and after a few seconds, the bartender asks, “What can I get for you?”

“Uh… vodka on the rocks.”

The bartender nods and within 2 minutes, a glass with his preferred drink is sitting in front of him. He throws it back and motions for another.  After his third round, someone sits down next to him on the barstool to his right that was recently vacated but he doesn’t look over at them.

He can feel their eyes looking at him but he doesn’t look over until he hears, “Evan Buckley.”

He pulls back because he recognizes the voice but he’s hoping it’s not the person he thinks it is. He turns his head and it’s him, Jared Persons, the quarterback of his college football team.

He plasters on a fake smile and says, “Jared?”

“Yeah man, it’s me.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Well, I don’t live too far from here and I come to this restaurant sometimes to sit at the bar, drink a few shots and let off some steam.”

After he looks Buck up and down, he continues.  “But I think the real question is… what are you doing here because last I heard, you left Hershey several years ago?”

“Um… I’m only here for one day and then I—I’ll be gone.”

Buck watches as Jared looks him up and down again with parted lips and a sparkle in his light green eyes like he wants to devour him.  He’s not naïve and he remembers everything they did one night after one of their big wins but he wonders if he should turn into Buck 1.0 again if only for one night.  He considers just doing it to relieve some of the stress he’s feeling before he has to face his parents tomorrow.

He thinks Jared can tell he’s remembering the night they spent together when he leans in close to speak into Buck’s ear.

Jared whispers, “There’s a hotel across the street and if you want… we could, you know for old times’ sake.  One roll in bed while you’re here for one night, one day or whatever.”

Buck moves to the left, then he interrupts him.  “I’m good Jared.  It was nice seeing you again.”

Will Buck accept the proposition made by one of his old college football teammates? 

_________

Fic Summary: Months after Buck and Eddie were hit by the same lightning strike; they’re still struggling with the aftermath of it.  But before they make their love confessions, they’ll spend time getting to know themselves as individuals first. Eddie learns to enjoy the simple things in life as he participates in activities on his own and with new friends while Buck learns the rest of the 31-year-old deep dark family secret about his conception and birth. Their journey to forever is still a work in progress but once they finally admit they’re in love with each other, everything that follows their love confessions will be cataclysmic.

__________

Chapter Summaries

Chapter 1 - Eddie makes a new friend while Buck receives devastating news regarding the sperm donation he made for Connor and Kameron.

Chapter 2 - Buck does a lot of research to learn more about the abnormalities found in his red blood cells and Eddie starts a new therapy journey that’s all about him and not the traumas he’s experienced.

Chapter 3 - After more than a month, Buck and Eddie finally spend time together outside of work but it doesn’t end well and they part with a lot of uncertainty regarding their places in each other’s lives.

Chapter 4 - Eddie has a few realizations about his life which causes him to consider moving back to El Paso, TX while Buck continues to be reminded of his past which causes him to take an impromptu road trip across America.

Chapter 5 - Will be posted soon.

__________

I’m enjoying writing this fic because it’s giving me the chance to unravel the mess that was 6x18 for Buck, Eddie and Chris.  Also, it’s taking them places the show refuses to go including Buck being put on Paid Administrative Leave from the 118 due to Taylor Kelly’s book being released along with Eddie doing a self-evaluation journey which currently includes him trying to decide if he should move back to El Paso.

__________

Buddie Multi-Chapter Fanfic - Hiatus Reading

Read chapters 1, 2, 3 & 4 on AO3.

No pressure tagging: @spotsandsocks​​ and @shortsighted-owl​.

[our-time-is-now]

September 30, 2019 (2): Wine gums and shower gel

(previous play)

You can find more information about the authors, translators, content warning and additional information about the plays in the pinned post on our blog.  

Monday, 9:59 am:

WhatsApp, David/Matteo:

David (09:59 am): Miss you! <3 I’m in favor of you working especially fast today so that you can be back with me faster!

David (10:22 am): Okay, I had a shower and the shower gel is almost finished. In case you get the chance to go shopping sooner than me then you know about it now ;-) :-*

David (11:42 am): I texted Patrick and I’ll meet up with him on Sunday :-O I’m pretty nervous!!! Pretty much. But luckily we’ll meet at Kallasch&. If it sucks then I can be back with you very quickly.

David (12:23 pm): Okay, for now I only looked up small apartments and flatshares in the area and I have three viewings scheduled for this week… two flatshares, one in Moabit and one in Hansaviertel… and a 35 m2 apartment on the street Emdener Straße - that would be extremely nice, of course - right around the corner.

Matteo (12:36 pm): I also miss you! I’ll do my best to work quickly. I’ll remember shower gel for the next shopping trip, how urgent is it? And oh @ Patrick, but I think it’s good. And yes, if it sucks then you’ll just leave, but at least then you gave it a shot.

Matteo (12:38 pm): And about apartments/flatshares, that sounds nice. Close by would be great… 35 m2 sounds good, as well. When are the viewings?

David (12:40 pm): I guess the shower gel will last for 2 or 3 more showers…

David (12:41 pm): Tomorrow at 4 pm I have a viewing for the flatshare in Moabit and on Friday at 10 am and 3 pm the other two… I’m curious to see if there will be those mass viewings again…

David (12:43 pm): I hope you have a nice break! Everything okay with you?

Matteo (12:45 pm): Then I’ll get some shower gel on my way back. Everything’s good with me… It’s a typical Monday, I’m looking forward to getting home ;-)

Matteo (12:52 pm): Kay was just here, I’ll have a talk with him on Wednesday… well, to talk about how it went so far and so on… hopefully that’s only a formality…

David (12:56 pm): Thanks :-* And wine gums! :-D I’m also already looking forward to you being back again!

David (12:58 pm): It’s surely only a formality! And it’s going well! He surely has only nice things to say! I’ll think of you and keep my fingers crossed!

David (1:01 pm): Continuerò a imparare l’italiano adesso. Voglio fare una buona impressione su tua nonna la prossima volta che la vedremo. Ti amo, tesorino!

Matteo (1:05 pm): Wine gums and shower gel, will do. And yes, it’ll be okay.

Matteo (1:07 pm): Sta andando abbastanza bene. Sono fiero di te. In bocca al lupo per gli studi. Ti amo, tesorino.

David (1:10 pm): Grazie :-*

(next play)

[fractallogic]

My day tomorrow requires the use of every single ounce of executive functioning that I have to figure out when I need to be on campus to get everywhere on time

Okay. I need to advertise my experiment to a class on campus so I can finish the last SEVEN participants at noon. It’s all the way the fuck across campus in a confusing and unfamiliar building, so tbqh I should leave my office no later than 11:20 (20-min walk, 10 min to find the room, 5 min cushion, on time = 5 min early)

I don’t want to schlep all my stuff across campus so I’ll actually go to my office first and put everything down, so I need to get to the parking garage at around 11, maybe a little before (time to find a space and climb the stairs and actually get up to my office and the lab on the literal other side of the building, then basically turn around and go back out the door)

There’s also a lab meeting at 12 on zoom, so I’ll need to have an electronic with me, but I don’t want to take my entire computer, so if I take my iPad I can just have a normal-sized bag

I don’t want to go all the way back to my office because at 1 there’s a defense I feel obligated to attend (she is the sweetest and friendliest person alive and one of the few people who does syntax here, and. I just have to go even if it’s really throwing a wrench in my day) still on that side of campus, so maybe I actually do want a backpack if only to not have to clutch my water bottle as I walk all around campus (and then I can just have my computer for the lab meeting, which is easier than a device)

And then at about three, when the defense is over, I can finally go back to my office and do some work

I also need to remember to pick a lunch and, I guess, hope that my bread isn’t moldy, because a PB&J or a protein shake are my only options for a non-microwave-using lunch

I HATE DAYS WHERE I HAVE TO RUSH AND RUN AROUND

Also there’s a Gathering(tm) for the post-defense party at 5 or 6 that I don’t think I super want to go to, actually, because I’m tired and need to go to the grocery store and want to go to the gym and NEED TO DO SOME WORK AT SOME POINT SO I CAN SPEND MY GRANT MONEY ugh, but I guess I’ll see how I feel about it tomorrow.

SO ANYWAY if I want to get to the parking garage by 11, I need to leave by 10:45ish. If I want to have a reasonable length of breakfast and get ready in a manner that doesn’t make me forget things, I should probably be downstairs by 10:15 at the absolute latest (and more realistically, probably 10).

If I leave my alarm set for 8:30, I won’t get enough sleep, so I guess I’ll set it for 9:30 to give my dumb ass time to hit snooze once for an extra 9 minutes (why 9, phone???) and moan and whine and complain to get dressed and go downstairs and rescue the cat.

I should also wear tennis shoes tomorrow because I will get blisters if I wear literally anything else walking (and sweating) that much.

I have no idea how I’m going to gym, shower, grocery, and eat dinner. Maybe I should just go to the party so that the professors can feed me instead, go grocery shopping afterwards, and go to the gym Friday morning. Christ.

Maybe I should just leave at 3 (or 4, once I congratulate her and get out of the chatty crowd and stuff and walk all the fucking way back to the garage), go straight to the gym (arriving at? 4:15?), finish an hour later, shower, grocery shop, dinner? And get something super chill for dinner while at the store? Or microwave a frozen pot pie?

So before I leave, I need to

eat breakfast (overnight oats)

make lunch (PB&J, hopefully)

pack gym clothes (just wear the gym shoes, it’s fine)

REMEMBER A WATER BOTTLE!!

AND YOUR COMPUTER AND CHARGER!!

and I think that’s all. And leave by 10:40-10:45. And resign yourself to not working tomorrow unless a big lightning bolt of energy comes out after I eat. Nnnnggggghhhhhhhhhhhh

[lilyoffandoms]

RCD Drabble - Thomas x Alex

Happiest of birthdays, Dani!! I hope you are having an absolutely beautiful day @storyofmychoices 💕

Warnings & A/N: None.

She still wondered at her life, their life together. It was everything she had ever dreamed of. Yet, the demands of their jobs, the demands of Hollywood, wore on them. It was so hard to keep that dream alive some days when he was half a world away and both were exhausted beyond measure.

It had been, what? Two weeks since they had seen each other for longer than ten minutes as they lay in their beds, thousands of miles apart, and she fell asleep while talking too late at night for her and too early in the morning for him.

He was exhausted, she could see it, she could hear it in his voice.

She was exhausted, he could see it, he could here it.

Good evening, he texted her.

Good morning, she reminded him.

Do you have time for a call? he asked.

Not right now. About to shoot that sunrise scene.

She sighed as she looked at the text as the makeup artist put the finishing touches to her face.

Your tomorrow? she asked

I have the shoot at the studio until 9pm. I will call as soon as I can after that.

Okay.

“You okay, Alex?” her hairstylist asked.

“Um what?” Alex wiped a tear from her cheek.

“You only?”

“Oh yeah. I’ll be fine,” she smiled stiffly as the makeup artist gave a small tsk at the offending tear. “Sorry,” Alex whispered.

I love you.

The text flashed on her screen and she smiled..

Love you too.

Three more days and she’d be on a plan home. Hopefully.

She returned to her hotel suite later that night and found flowers and a gift box waiting on the table alongside her dinner.

She sipped on the glass of wine and nibbled the sandwich as she opened the card tucked in the bouquet.

Happy birthday, my love! -T

Had the days really gotten away from her?

She checked her calendar. No, it definitely wasnt her birthday yet. That was nearly a month away.

He never was very good at remembering dates when he got busy. She smiled and setting the card down pulled on the ribbon tied neatly around the box. Opening the cover she found another note resting in side it.

Things I love about you, day one: Your smile that lights up my entire world. No. Your smile that is my entire world.

Tears in her eyes, the post script had her smiling again with a soft chuckle.

And before you accuse me of forgetting your actual birthday. I will be counting the things I love about you each and everyday until your actual birthday.

[1d1195]

sam you are the sweetest person in the world actually, thank you so much🫶

STEAL MY GIRL MUSIC VIDEO IS SUCH A NICHE THING I FEEL LIKE ITS ALMOST AN INSIDE JOKE it’s sooooo funny every time i watch it i’m just laughing SO REAL WITH LOUIS AND THE CHIMP i remember watching it for the first time and seeing harry in the fucking trench coat and genuinely getting worried like “hmmm it’s too hot for that, hope he’s okay😕” BABHSHAHAHAHAHA zayn and the sumo wrestlers ALWAYS gets me

IM ACTUALLY LAUGHING SOOOO HARD AT THE "SAMANTHA -🎶" YOU GET ME😭😭 i think i read all dolcezza like the same week you posted the last part, and it’s a good thing i did cause ooooo girl….😮‍💨😮‍💨you woulda drove me crazy

I THINK I SAID THIS ONCE BUT IM NOT SURE AND IF I DID IT WAS A LONG TIME AGO BUTTTT THE SERIES THAT BROUGHT ME TO YOUR PAGE WAS ACTUALLY MADE TO BE🥹🥹🥹🥹 and i came from PART 1 !!!!! (ironic considering my aversion to waiting lol) i tuned in every week to read the new part and back then you were updating on sundays and i stg i would get soooo giddy (i was in SHAMBLESSS between chapters having to wait a week😭) and yea…after that series ive been stuck here like a leech LMAO

on the topic of waiting on chapters i started traditional like right after you’d posted the second to last chapter and O.M.G. AHAHAHAH ITS SO FUNNY LOOKING BACK BUT I WAS ACTUALLY GLUEDDD TO MY PHONE👀👀 WAITING FOR THE NEXT PART CAUSE THEY HAD GOT IN THAT FIGHT AND I WAS SOOO HOOKED and then i woke up one morning and it was out, guess how i spent my breakfast & coffee time😭

i’m just rambling at this point BUT YES !!! YOU NEED TO KNOW HOW APPRECIATED YOU ARE !!! i remember back then i wasn’t doing the best and lots of things were changing but i always looked forward to reading the newest chapter. i read in one of your recent asks about how you decide what you write based on engagement (which makes total sense) but you feel like you get a lot of non-interacting readers. this is true and it really sucks but i guess it’s the reality of posting on a website like this. however, i will gladly take the time to say what they won’t and AHHHH SAM YOURE AN AMAZING WRITER I LOVE YOU THANK YOU FOR FEEDING US YOU MATTER SOOOO MUCH MORE THAN YOU KNOW 💕💕💕💕💘💘💘💘💘💝💝💝💝💝💖💖💖💖💖💖💗💗💗💗💗💗

i cried while finished “Love & Other Words” 😪omg i didn’t see that coming but it was SOOOO. GOOD. like….i sat and stared at the book with a small smile after i finished it kind of good. i will DEF been rereading that I LOVE THEM😭😭 THAT SCENE WHERE HE SAID “I’ll take anything you give me. Is that pathetic?” I SCREAMED they’re so precious and i looooveddd the way it was written!!! i just sped through it and i love when books feel like that

it has also been storming here, like so bad the electricity went out a few weeks ago and if u go out when it’s sunny you will melt. not a fan of summer right now🙄 SO happy to hear you’re feeling more relaxed, hopefully that stays till at least the end of summer. pasta is yummy !! i like my pasta dishes w a lotttttaaaa cheese :)) ive been boring too, dw. just a lotta reading on my end cause i am notttt in the mood to talk to anyone lately, vry antisocial (i also started my period last night ??? maybe that why lmfao😭)

sorry for this behemoth of an ask, thank you for chatting HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY LOVE YOU <33333333

~🎶

I DREAM about Harry in that trench coat. A fashion icon. I love him so much in that (and everything). I totally forgot all about the sumo wrestler piece of it I was so focused on the chimp and Louis. Louis' smile in that is my FAVORITE thing in the world. It was SO pure.

hehehehehe well, I'm happy to report that Part II of Most will be up tomorrow afternoon. She's longer than I thought I could do but here we are. After writing it, I think Part 1 and Part 2 would be a good read. I don't think it will drive you crazy the way Dolcezza would have drove you crazy.

OMG. I apologize if you DID say it, but I feel like this is new information to me. I'm so so sorry if I forgot. BUT STILL. I haven't thought about Made to Be in a REALLY long time 😭 I loved it for so long after I finished writing it. It was a huge part of my life. You've been here for a while, that's so cute and nice to hear 💕 I'm so glad you liked it

You are so so sweet. I am so grateful for you compliments.

IS THAT PATHETIC made me want to SCREAM too. I love Elliot so goddamn much I could CRY. He is my ideal man. My new story is Love & Other Words coded for sure 🙈 I didn't mean for it to happen but then I think I told you I got it back from letting my sister borrow it and I couldn't stop rereading the whole "I'm pathetic part" like OMG I'm 😭😭 so distraught about it STILL. Everything about that book is perfect.

I am summer's least favorite fan. The heat makes me so sticky and gross feeling. Also, I don't look good in summer clothes (or I feel gross about myself, whatever) ANYWAY. I love a good antisocial mood tbh. I feel so obligated to be on and around everyone all the time. And what's worse is I let myself be available. I JUST started getting better at not checking my work email outside of work hours. My sister and mom need me LITERALLY all the time. My bf and I are home at the same time so I just never get a MINUTE to myself. I have to like hide in my own apartment to get any alone time. So yeah. I can't get my brain to shut off lately to read but I've been doing some hard work on the writing here so I'm hoping that will help--also been doing a GREAT job binging TV. I think I just want to keep reading romance stuff and not all the like "interesting" books I've bought and haven't read 😭 It's the only way I'm going to get through this bookshelf of mine 😂

I love the chatting and the long asks so no need to apologize or thank me. I hope you have a fantastic Monday! LOVE YOU SO MUCH 💕

xoxo

[bvannn]

Weekly Update May 24, 2024

I tried being productive this week, and got some things done but not as much as I would’ve liked. I’m still super tired and work starts next week, but I’m hoping things will get better. Some personal things may come up so I might also be in a bad mood or busy helping family next week, but there’s also a chance we get a pet. I’m hoping I can convince my mom for a dog, since I don’t care for cats, but a cat is more likely. Anyway art stuff.

I didn’t make straightforward progress on the OEB video but I did some stuff. I redid boards for the first chorus twice, ran it past a friend for peer review. Friend has also offered to help with boards, and I gave him a general description of what I wanted, but I’m not going to hold him to it since I don’t currently have a way of repaying him. It’s more of a fun thing for him to do if he wants, and if he does it helps me, but if he doesn’t then I’ll still get it done on my own. I did write up what I want the boards to look like through the second chorus, and I got started on building the puppet of the main character. I don’t expect full puppets for all the characters, but I think the main at least makes sense, since there’s a good chance I’ll reuse him in other animations, or at least I can reuse his parts. Also looked into a certain feature of adobe’s and i should be able to skip the entire sketch line step I was doing before, and just do it in the program, which will be a great way to save time while still giving it that sketchy lineart style I love so much.

Comic: pitch comic is officially 20% done, and I figured out how to get Microsoft word back on my computer so I can get to writing the next stuff. I got about half an outline for an episode 2 of O’Malley, and I’m starting structuring Backstage’s overall plot, since time is a much more important factor there. I’m not sure if I still have the outline I did for episode 3 of O’Malley or not, but I remember the general chorus of events so I can redo it if I don’t. Sorry I don’t have much to say on the current comic other than I just need to keep working on it. Which I will, I’ll try to get page 7 sketched tomorrow. That’s Anastasia’s introduction, so hopefully I’ll be able to post something from it.

Music: I got impulsive and outlined another song. And started throwing instrumentals together. I’ll abbreviate it as RR, it’s an original, vocal, not sure what voice to use but it’s fine. I’m going to try for getting the lyrics done before writing the melody this time, shouldn’t be too bad as long as I have time and motivation. I’m still going to aim to finish up lyrics for BATB first, but those are slow because I keep second guessing myself about it. I started another draft of the first verse last night, I’ll try to get that done tonight if I have time.

I’m trying to get one general drawing done a night, but I’m falling behind. Right now I’m watching a movie with my mom since she’s had a rough day (Beetlejuice is still a good movie btw, better than the cartoon) but I’m hoping I’ll have time to get another one done once the movie is over. I did get an account on that sheezy.art site through luck, haven’t had enough time to tell whether it’s worth the exclusivity yet. Also heard about a site called unvale, haven’t poked it at all yet, maybe I’ll do that soon. Anyway point is I’m trying to get more general drawings done on days I have free. Those are going to be more sparse with work but I’ll try to still get some done on the weekends.

All things considered I did a bunch this week but it isn’t a lot that I can really show. I’m still trying. In the next few weeks I’ll finish up some more general drawings and try to get on redoing some of the Artfight refs that need it. I’ll definitely have more to show during July because I want to go ham with that, although again time will be a bit constrictive. This next month I’m going to try finishing up some projects I want to get done before then, but I’ll try to see how much of that I can multitask with other big projects. It’ll be fine!

[taylorgraymoore]

November 29, 2023

Antsy on this last day before flying out, I am down at a cafe (Perchance, just at Dunbar and 18th, a block away from me) in a table in a corner, watching the space become increasingly crowded as those children just leaving school begin to pile in. I don’t see myself staying long.

I have developed a tender relationship with cafes over the years. It’s where I started coming to write back when I was about twenty and first going out and exploring the city around me, walking random parts of it and setting myself up where I found myself wanting to sit for awhile. Mostly cafes; sometimes restaurants. Often enough, restaurants. The cafe became the centre of the experience when I went to Montreal. I remember seeing an article in the Journal de Montreal posted in my own local cafe, listing the best cafes at every metro station. I was one year in town, and off for the summer. I decided to explore the city by following that list. I did explore the city, and the idea of the cafe was absorbed into my soul. 

For years, I could only get writing done if I went to a cafe. When I went out on a day off, the reason was usually to go to a cafe. Even if I went across town, it was to go to a cafe. I have nothing but good things to say about the cafes of Commercial Dr, of Gastown, of Main St. I spent many happy and productive hours in them, and then happily boarded busses home. 

I don’t go to cafes so much anymore. Things changed when the lockdown happened; couldn’t go out anymore, so I set up an office it the attic. It ended up working for me better. Now I go here sometimes, usually for take out, sometimes down to Grounds for Coffee if I want to sit down. I don’t go out further much. If I do, I tend to go to a restaurant—I have the money to spend. 

This place is filling up and I’ve had too much coffee. I’ll be headed out soon.

Done most of my packing, save for my changers and a few clothes. Most of the evening will be trying to relax. Going to make pasta—scallops and mushrooms in a cream sauce, and I bought I nice bottle of Sicilian white wine to have with it. I’m looking forward. If my writing seemed choppy, it’s because there’s a dad with two kids hovering over me and obviously waiting for me to give up my table. I’ll finish this later if I finish it at all.

No, they’re gone. Ah, but I’ve still had too much coffee. I ought to have bought a tea, which was my first plan. Ah well. Hopefully it at least won’t keep me awake.

It’s the tail end of autumn that’s fading into winter. The mulch of the fallen leaves solidifies into frost. This time tomorrow, it will be full winter in Quebec, where I will be. What will I do? I’ll get to the AirB&B, I’ll go out and get groceries and a sandwich for dinner, and then—will I go out again? I might go out again. There’s a place I said I might be. 

[dailyaudiobiblechronological]

3/10/2023 DAB Chronological Transcription

Numbers 35-36

Welcome to the Daily Audio Bible Chronological, I'm China. Today is the 10th day of March. Welcome. So great to be here with you today. Today is actually a really cool day. We are finishing the book of Numbers off today and I feel like it's only fitting to tell this joke slash pickup line that has crossed my mind every time I've said today we're reading the book of Numbers. So if you are single here, this is for you. This one's free. I was reading the book of Numbers and I realized I didn't have yours. There you go, you're welcome. I waited until we were done with the book so you only had to hear that once and now you can forget it forever or you can use it either way. There you go. Today we are finishing off with Numbers in chapters 35 to 36. Continuing on with Christian Standard Bible for this week.

Commentary:

So kind of an interesting place to end a book in my opinion. So we read majority of today's reading with cities for the Levites and then going into cities of refuge really for people who accidentally commit murder. But then if you purposely commit murder, well, it's not going to end very well for you. This is interesting because I remember we've read this before within different guidelines we've read about, okay, these ordinances have to be in place probably because this was happening a lot and there needed to be a system, rules or places to flee to be put into place. Like I've said before, you ever go somewhere and you see like a crazy thing that is posted, please don't pull the koi fish from the pond and you're like, okay, someone had to have done this because there's a sign that says don't do this. That's what I kind of imagining has been happening or maybe the Lord just knew, hey listen, I know my people and I know that sometimes there's going to be murder that is intentional and sometimes not intentional and here's the places that are safe for you to go to. So again, just kind of an interesting place to end the book of numbers. But again, the book of Numbers is literally things being recorded and the numbers being accounted for for people and tribes and where they were going and the specifics of things like very specific book for sure. And so this, this concludes the book of Numbers.

Prayer:

So Lord, I thank you for your word. I thank you that we are continuing to go through it and that we have I pray that we would have a better understanding of who you are and your nature. I pray that we'd be able to put aside the things that we are believing that aren't true, that you would show us the things that we have maybe inherited or things that we have projected from others onto you that just are not the true, the full trueness of who you are. So I pray that as we continue to read, that you would give us fresh perspective and eyes to see and ears to hear, and that we would truly know you deeper each and every single day. I thank you that we will. That is the truth. It's in your name we pray. Amen.

Announcements:

Dailyaudiobible.com is our website that is home base where you can see what's going on here in the community. So be sure to check that out. Yesterday I misspoke, the Beanies will be in stock next week, so you want to go look for them and they're not in stock yet. That was my fault. So sorry. But the hats are in stock, so be on the lookout for that. Wait for that announcement. If you have prayer requests and things that we as a community can come alongside of you and encourage you and pray for you, you can call in at 800-583-2164. Those get sent in and played at the end of every day's podcast. That is all for today. I'm China, I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer Line:

Hello, my DABC family. I recorded something before and then I've started listening to DAB. Hopefully I do this right this time. My name is Olivia Buchwald from the UK and I'm calling to say thank you for everyone who joined me in prayers for our country. My country, my dear, their country. In Nigeria, the elections have been held on the 25 February and the voice of the people was loud and clear but it wasn't heard. And because the elections were massively rigged the choice of the people wasn't. The elections were rigged. It was it was it was horrible. It is horrible. But the man who we hope for to become president has gone to court. The president elects, as far as I'm concerned, by the grace of God will not sit there for long. But at the end of the day I pray for the will of God to be done. When the Israelites were leaving the about to leave Egypt, Pharaoh fought. He fought even when they had left he still chased them. He fought. But then the God of war the court of justice rose up on their accounts and and showed them who he was and who he still is. And I believe in that God, that who is still alive today and I know that he will not live forsake or abandon us. Century has gone through a lot. Decades of bad governance, very rich country in whatever form. Human resources, economic resources, manpower, everything natural resources. But a few people have decided Nigeria will not move forward. And I know that Nigeria doesn't belong to them. So I place all our trust and our hope in the Lord and I say thank you for your prayers.

Hi Daily Audio Bible Chronological. This is Tiffany from New York. Mommy to Elijah. Quick update on Elijah. He's doing really well and growing fast. I just went back to work this week and that's hard enough as it is. But I really just would like to ask all of your prayers, because on Friday, a student that I had in my classroom that day, I found out the next day that he was killed tragically in a fire along with his father and three others. And so if you could just be praying and lifting up my school community and all the students in prayer as we process and navigate this tragic loss, it would mean so much. Thank you, family. I love you all and I'm praying for you all. God bless.

Hi, this is Amy calling from Wisconsin, and I am just calling for prayer for myself. I struggle with binge eating disorder, and food lately has been a stronghold over me, and I just feel sad and defeated. And my specific prayer request is that God shows me the way for somebody to help me. I'm finding it difficult to find support for what I need. Like, I'd love to find a mentor that's gone through this and it's on the other side. I've gone down the road of eating disorder therapist and nutritionist. I used to be on Jenny Craig, and what I liked about that is you could go in weekly for a check in and weigh in, and that's what I feel like I'm looking for, but maybe without that program, and I just feel like it's been hard to find support. I've never in all my years of dealing with us, met somebody that has been able to help me, that has gone through what I've gone through. And on the other side, I've gotten lots of help over the years, but nobody that I've ever met that successfully overcome the cheating disorder and could help mentor me through it. I thank everybody and I love listening to all the prayers and pray daily for everybody else that calls in. And I think this is a great community. So I thank you, everyone, for your prayers.

Hi, DABC Fam. This is Janel calling from Arizona. I just woke up and purposed in my heart to praise the Lord. I've been doing that all day. I'm getting tired right now. It's been hours and hours. But Emmy, I heard your call as I was transcribing today, and I'm just lifting you up. Lord, thank you for Emmy's call. Thank you for putting it on my heart to praise you for what you're doing. Give her eyes to see, Lord, what you can do, what you've already done. Even though it's not done yet, even though she doesn't see it, it's already done. She has this husband that you've given her, Lord. Let the counselor not be the one she looks to. Let your Holy Spirit be their counselor, Lord, and let her put out of her mind any options to separate or divorce. Let her trust you fully and completely and surrender all of her hopes, dreams, pain and suffering to you. Because, Lord, you take it all and you make something really beautiful. And I see it. I know it Lord. So fire Emmy up with that truth. Let her trust in You. Trust her husband to you. Holy Spirit fire him up. And Lord, we just worship you. We thank you for marriages. We thank you that they are a beautiful gift from you, and we celebrate them and we will honor them, Lord, in all that we say, do think and live. So praise you, Lord. Thank you, thank you. I worship you. In Jesus name I pray. Amen. Love you, Emmy. Love you, DAB.

Lord God, I just thank you for the Daily Audio Bible. I thank you for the blessing it has been in my life. I thank you, Lord God, that your word comes to me daily. I thank you for the vision that you have given Brian and his family with this Daily Audio Bible, and how you continue to refine this ministry and make it bigger and better and able to reach more people. I thank you, Lord, for each of these people that have called in requesting prayer, Lord God, knowing there's a community of believers that love the Lord, for the ones who are struggling in their marriage. Lord God, you are a God of restoration and reconciliation. That's what you do. And so I pray, Lord God, that you would heal these broken marriages. Intercede, Lord God, what you put together, let no man tear apart. Lord God, I thank you for our precious, precious children. I thank you that you entrusted us to care for them. And Lord, forgive us where we have fallen short, where we have not been a good steward of our children and instilling the value into them that you want us to.

Lord, forgive us where we have not been strong and stood against the world and have kind of caved to whatever the pressure of this world lays on us, and that we have not been an advocate, the best one that we can be for our children. Give us wisdom to raise our children in a way that brings you honor and glory and draws them to you. Lord, for those who are struggling with their health, I pray that you heal them in every way, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and that in all these answers, Lord God, to these requests that you would be glorified is in your most precious and holy name, I pray Jesus. Amen. Thank you.

[linahopeeeee]

Hiii I have a fic idea.

Yoongi. After seeing the airport pics/videos he's all that's been on my mind so here it is.

He just came to states for the white house visit you've met him a few years ago when you traveled to see them live in concert. After a night out to dinner y'all see each other again across the room of said restaurant you wait til he's by himself to approach him holding a little conversation before you offer your number he calls that same night y'all end up meeting in the middle of the night one thing lead to another y'all have sex, rough sex because Yoongi isn't known for he's soft side 😩 .. Here's the kicker the morning for the white house visit you bump into each again only this time you've the presidents assistant 😩

Masterlist

Notes: bruh this was supposed to be posted so long ago but then life got in the way. But anyway here it is finally! Hopefully you like it. Also I have no clue why the first paragraph is so big and it won’t let me change it so yeah

“Finally” you sigh out, you had just finished a rough shift and were ready to fall face first into bed. Your packing up the last of your things when you hear your stomach grumble.

Checking the time you see that it’s way past the time you usually eat dinner, since the day has been so hectic in preparation for the visitors that’s coming tomorrow, you didn’t have time to grab anything to eat.

You decided to stop at a restaurant a few miles from your apartment. Going inside you quickly place your order to go and sit in one of the seats near the entrance.

“Is that-?” You ask yourself as you spot a familiar face seated at a table a little closer to the back and your instantly reminded of when you met a few years ago.

He’s sitting with another guy so you decide not to approach him, thinking he probably doesn’t remember you anyway.

A few minutes go by and the man that he was sitting with gets up and walks away, you looking around the restaurant and say fuck it, as you begin walking towards his table.

“Hey you probably don’t remember me-“ you start and he looks up, quickly shaking his head, smiling at you.

“No! I do remember you, we met a few years at one of our concerts right?” He says and you nod, smiling at the fact that he remembers you.

“Yep that’s me. I saw you sitting here and I decided to come say hi” you say. You talk for a little while before the hostess comes over with your order.

“Well I guess I’ll be heading out” you say, not really wanting to leave.

“I’m going to be in town for a couple of days, why don’t you give me your number and maybe we could hangout before I go” he says unlocking his phone and handing it to you. You quickly put your number in before giving it back to him.

“I’ll call you” he tells you before you leave.

The drive to your apartment is shorter than usual since it’s later in the day, all the traffic has already cleared.

You unpack your food on the table in your living room and open up Netflix to continue watching the movie you started while you eat.

An hour and a half later and you’ve just gotten out of the shower, a towel wrapped around your body as you begin applying your favorite lotion. There’s music playing from your phone.

Beep beep

Your phone buzzes from beside you, it’s a text message from a unknown number

Hey it’s Yoongi

I was wondering if you wanted to hang? You could come to my hotel room and we could watch a movie or something

You sit there for a couple of minutes, trying to figure out what the best response would be, deciding to play it cool and not seem too desperate

Hey

Yeah that sounds cool, I’ll head out in like 20 minutes

Whats the address?

He sends the address soon after, as you rush to find something to wear, throwing on a pair of black shorts and a tank top.

You quickly put on a little eyeliner and mascara to help you out, and fix your hair in the mirror. You grab your lip gloss out of your purse as you wait for the elevator.

When your outside of the hotel you send him a text to get the room number

“613, 613” you say as you walk down the hallway, looking for room number 613. When you find it, you softly knock on the door.

“Hey” he says when he pulls the door open, he’s dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a plain black t shirt. He steps to the side to let you in.

“So I figured we could watch a movie, talk and get to know each other” he says as the two of you sit down on the bed.

“Yeah that’s fine” you tell him. He walks over to the desk and picks up the remote before walking back over to where your sitting on the bed.

“This movie makes no sense “ he says an hour later. He found a random movie that he had heard about and thought it was going to be funny by so far you haven’t laughed yet.

“Yeah it is a bit stupid. I’m still confused what happened to the main character” you tell him and he hums in agreement.

You both decide to ditch the movie and instead just talk. The two of you talk for a while before the both of you are slowly leaning into each other.

His lips meet your and your quick to kiss him back. You let out a quiet moan when his tongue licks at your bottom lip, you gently part your lips to allow him to explore your mouth.

His hands grip your hips as he pulls you onto his lap, straddling him. He breaks the kiss to begin leaving a trail of kisses down your neck, as you begin grinding yourself down onto him.

He pulls away and looks into your eyes. “You sure about this?” He asks, eyes darkened with lust. You just nod, placing your lips back on his as your hands find his hair, tugging gently.

Yoongi waste no time, quickly taking off your shirt and throwing it somewhere in the room, your bra following soon after.

“Fuck” he groans out as your boobs are exposed for him. Your nipples hard and puffy.

He grabs both of your boobs in his hands, squeezing a little. He takes your right nipple into his mouth and sucks on it, his hand still playing with the left on.

He uses his teeth to gently bite down on the hard bud, the pleasure causes you to push your chest further into his face as you moan loudly. Your still grinding down on his growing erection.

“Lay down” you tell him as you get off of his lap, he quickly takes off his pants and lays down on his back. You take his dick in your hands, pumping him a few times before leaning down and pressing a few kitten licks to the head.

Yoongi bites down on his lip as he watches you with hooded eyes. You take the tip of his dick into your mouth gently sucking on the head.

“Shit” he moans out as your warm mouth engulfs his length.

“I want you to fuck my face” you tell him and he almost chokes on his spit, nodding rapidly.

You take him back into your mouth as he grabs the back of your head, slowly thrusting up into you. He takes it slow at first, before picking up speed.

You feel him hitting the back of your throat with each thrust of his hips, swallowing around him. His assault on the back of your throat continues for a while before you feel him twitch a few time inside of your mouth.

He pulls your head away from his cock and you look up at him confused, using the back of your hand to wipe your mouth.

“I didn’t want to cum yet, I want to feel you cum around me first” he says grabbing his pants from the floor and getting a condom out, rolling it down on his length.

He pushes you down on your back and places himself in between your legs, lining himself up with your entrance.

He slowly pushes himself in, allowing you time to adjust to him. You let out a loud moan as your tight walls stretch around him.

Once he fully bottoms out he stays still for a few moments waiting for you to tell him he can start moving. You nod up at him and he starts moving.

He pulls almost all of the way out before slamming back in, the force pushing you forward. His pace starts off fast and hard leaving you a moaning mess beneath him.

He takes your chin in between his fingers, roughly placing his lips on yours. The kiss is hot and wet and messy, just the way you like it.

He brings one of his hands down and collects some of your wetness before rubbing circles on your clit. You feel yourself getting close, that familiar tightening in your stomach. Yoongi’s close too, the way you’ve been squeezing him so tightly

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum” you tell him and that only makes him fuck you harder, each thrust hitting right on your g spot.

A loud whimper leaves you as you cum around him, a few more thrust and he’s emptying inside of you.

He lays down next to you on the bed, giving both of you time to catch your breath.

“Spend the night?” He asks a few minutes later, hands softly stroking your hair, you nod.

“Wanna go take a shower with me?” He asks, sitting up on the bed, holding his hand out for you to take.

The next day you wake up earlier than you wanted to head home and get dressed for work. Driving faster than normal so that your not late.

It’s after the guys have all said their speeches that you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. Quickly unlocking it you look at the new message from Yoongi.

Why didn’t you tell me you worked at the White House??

Also you look so sexy in that skirt, we should get together again tonight

The second message heats up your entire face, quickly sending back a reply, telling him that you completely forgot that they were going to be visiting the White House and that your just an assistant. You also tell him that you would love to get together tonight with a wink emoji at the end

[chasingpj]

𝐔𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐑𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐳𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐬

"I might spread a rumor about you and Percy rendezvousing at midnight. The Aphrodite cabin will have a hoot with that one."

pairing: percy jackson x child of hecate!reader

words: 4,931

warnings: none

timeline: post sea of monsters

if you want to be tagged every time I update this story, click here

a/n: hi hi! this is part one of a self-insert series I'm working on. in this story, y/n is a child of hecate, and this storyline follows the books. the current timeline here is post sea of monsters and will continue through the Heroes of Olympus books. though it follows the original plot, y/n has her own storyline and quests. i tried to make y/n gender-neutral but as I continued to work on the timeline for this project, i had decided that this fic is for a fem reader. guys, this is really just me projecting my fantasy into fanfiction lol. i feel like this is a slow start?? and there is a lot of info dumped in this so bear with me. it'll get better and I'll be working to improve my writing as the series continues. I was on a writing hiatus for a really long time and I'm out of practice so this is my way to get back and hopefully, exceed the skills I had when I was a consistent writer. anyways, if you have any feedback, let me know! I'd love to hear what you think. as i get deeper into the series, i might ask for some suggestions on what to do with the fic. anyways, i'll stop rambling and i hope you like it!

Part One Part Two

You ignore the aching in your neck as your focus is fixed on the herbology book in front of you. You’ve been seated at your desk for Zeus knows how long reading and taking notes in your Book of Shadows, determined to finish reading it as fast as possible. Your half-brother, Alabaster, insisted that you need to memorize all the herbs and their properties before he can properly teach you how to use them in potions. Even though you understand its importance, you hated introductory work. You are itching to get to the real stuff, resulting in you glued to your chair, studying through the night as your cabin mates were fast asleep in their beds. But as determined as you are, Ambrose, your familiar, wasn’t much help. Ambrose whines as he rubs his head against your legs like a needy kitten, making it difficult to ignore him.

“What is it, Ambrose?” You whisper, sitting back in your chair in defeat. You take a second to massage the back of your sore neck before turning to face the translucent hound sitting attentively at your side. His tail sweeps the floor as it wags excitedly, and a short huff leaves his snout as if he was proud to have finally gotten your attention.

Your eyes meet his, racking your mind to figure out what Ambrose needs to tell you. At first, you thought he wanted to play, but you didn’t have time for that, so you decided to ignore him. Usually, after being ignored for a while, Ambrose will give up, finding something else to occupy him. But tonight, he was particularly persistent, and he’s only like this when he needs to tell you something.

Before you can ask what he wanted again, Ambrose gets up from his seated position, running over to the small table that stands beside your bed. You furrow your eyebrows, the first thing you notice when you walk over are your crystals neatly placed in front of your spell books as usual. Seeing them made you suddenly remember what you had planned to do.

You had told Ambrose to remind you to charge your crystals and collect water from the lake since there is a full moon tonight and of course, Ambrose being your loyal companion, did exactly that. Before looking down at the hound, who now is breathing heavily, his tail somehow wagging faster than before, you smile to yourself.

“I told you to remind me earlier, didn’t I?” Ambrose snorts and runs around your feet enthusiastically. You couldn’t help but giggle at his excitement as you reached down to pat his head. “Good boy. What would I do without you?” You continue to praise him, grabbing a black pouch and carefully placing the crystals in it. You put your index finger to your lips, signaling Ambrose to be a little quieter despite his excitement. If he accidentally wakes anyone up, then you definitely weren’t going to be able to fulfill your plans.

You bite your bottom lip as you tiptoe out of the aisle between the bunks. You look around the notoriously cramped Hermes Cabin to make sure your assumption that everyone was asleep by now was correct. It wasn’t hard to make out the faces of your cabin mates since seeing clearly in the dark was one of your many gifts, so you carefully walked along the bunks, being as quiet as you could. You are especially cautious as you approach the front where your cabin leaders, the Stoll brothers, slept. You study them for a second, knowing for sure Travis was asleep since he was snoring and loudly at that. Before you can check if Connor is asleep, you hear him shifting in his bed. You stand frozen in your spot, hesitantly looking over and you were expecting to be met with the usual mischievous grin. Instead, his back was towards you now. You have a feeling in your gut that he wasn't asleep, the timing of his moving was much too convenient. You really didn't want to wait any longer though so you decide that you might as well leave before he could stop you.

You turn on your heels, walking over to the window before you push it open. You cringe softly as the hinges creak, and you look back at the cabin to double-check if anyone has woken up from the sound. You sigh in relief when you see no one has moved, and you turn back to the window, carefully crawling out of it. This wasn’t unusual for you. You’ve done this so many times that using windows as a mode of exiting and entering a room was as natural to you as walking in and out of a door, and soon you were hopping down onto the grass. Your back is pressed against the cabin as you walk the side of it. You look up at the trees and the sky, eyes scoping around for any harpies hanging around. After deeming that you were alone, you begin making your way to the lake, Ambrose walking by your side attentively and cautiously to make sure you are safe.

The night was clear; the stars and especially the moon shone brightly in the sky. You sigh softly, taking in the stillness of the night, admiring the glistening lake reflecting the full moon placed above it. You’ve always enjoyed how quiet and cool the nights were, preferring it more than the daytime.

Unfortunately, you couldn’t avoid it as much as you wish to. Most of your siblings can agree with you that they’d prefer to sleep in most days so that they can study and practice their magic at night. However, that wasn’t the schedule of the Hermes Cabin. It was pretty impossible to sleep in since the mornings were always hectic. In fact, the cabin was just hectic, period. There was always something going on, whether it was an elaborate prank or the guys arguing over who gets to shower first after coming back from training which usually resulted in an intense game of rock, paper, scissors. You can’t say that you didn’t like it; at least you were entertained.

You also always had someone to talk to, and because there were often new campers coming in and out of there, you have easily familiarized yourself with a lot of the kids at camp. However, like your mother, you did enjoy and yearn for the occasional periods of solitude. As fun as living with the Hermes kids was, you and your siblings did find yourselves getting a little irritable at their shenanigans. It was at those times, you did wish that your mother, Hecate, had a designated cabin.

You and your siblings had always said if they ever got a cabin of their own, they would make sure everyone had separate rooms and would have designated spaces to socialize and practice their magic so that it was quiet for the most part. Alabaster, especially, was really passionate about this topic. He complained how it didn’t make sense that your mother wasn't recognized since you and your siblings were a powerful little bunch. You all needed a space to practice your magic and practice preferably at night since you were the most powerful at that time of day; you were also less prone to making mistakes in your spell casting at night. You agreed with him and would get upset about it sometimes, but the Hermes Cabin was a place you considered to be a second home. The communal feel of the space was something you enjoyed, it was one of the few places where you felt fully accepted which was rare to find being a demi-god with abilities like yours. In return to the Hermes Cabin welcoming you with open arms, you accept the inconveniently loud environment as an admirable quirk and went on with your days.

Then to compensate for the lack of silence and solitude, you would often stay up late, taking advantage of the quiet to focus on your studies. Even if you had to sacrifice the amount of sleep you got, you felt like it was worth it.

It doesn’t take you long to arrive at the dock, sitting down close to the end with your legs folded under you. You first collect lake water in a jar before carefully taking out the pouch's crystals. Assuming you had only a few left in the pouch after laying most of them on the dock, you tilt it with your hand under it, only for the crystals to come out all at once. You fumble, hands trying to bring them to your chest, but with your luck, one of your crystals falls right into the water with a plop.

“Dammit!” You peer over the edge and groan, Ambrose whining at your misfortune as he stands beside you. You look down at the water, noticing Ambrose’s and your dim reflection in it. There was no way you could get that crystal now because you didn't know how to swim, and you consider that maybe tomorrow you can convince your twin brother, Atticus, to look for it or Alabaster if Atticus refused, which you were expecting him to.

Your breath hitches at the back of your throat, jumping back as a head of dark hair abruptly pops up from right where you were staring. Ambrose barks loudly next to you, equally as startled, and your eyes widen. You stand up hastily at the realization that Ambrose's loud barks in the dead of night will catch the attention of the harpies, and right now, that was more important to you than the mysterious person that just sprouted up in the water like a zombie coming out of a grave.

“Shush! Ambrose, quiet!” Your frantic command was enough to make him stop with a whine, and you sigh shakily, turning towards the camp to check if there were any harpies.

“I think you dropped something.” Ambrose moves in front of you protectively, a low growl coming from his chest as he cautiously studies the person. You look back where the voice came from and to your surprise and your relief, you find that the mysterious person in the lake was no other than Percy Jackson. You never had a conversation with him before, but you definitely knew about him. It was kind of hard not to know who he is since he’s been the talk of the camp since he’s arrived. Your thoughts about him weren’t any different from most of the camp. You’ve seen him fight and use his powers during capture the flag, and you were just as impressed as everyone else. You did have to admit that you found him to be pretty cute too. His eyes were gorgeous, clear, and bright like a shallow, cyanic sea. You also found it adorable how his hair always looked a little disheveled.

Your (e/c) eyes met Percy’s green ones before looking at your rose quartz in his hand. You smile sheepishly, noticing the amused look on his face.

“Ah, yeah, that’s mine.” You walk over to him, but as you get closer, so does Ambrose, and his growls get louder. "Ambrose, heel. It's okay," you say softly, and he stops in his place, but his stance is still at alert, his eyes watching Percy cautiously. You pat Ambrose's head before walking past him and over to Percy. "Thanks," you smile, taking your rose quartz from his hand.

"No problem… I don't think your ghost dog likes me," Percy jokes, moving to look past your legs at Ambrose, who’s standing tall on your left side.

"Yeah, well, you kinda scared the crap out of us," you point out, amused. You take in Percy's goofy smile as he pulls himself up from the water, and you notice that he’s completely dry as he settles on the edge before turning his body to look at you.

“It’s y/n, right?” He asks, and you nod, figuring he’s probably heard about you in passing from Connor and Travis since he was friends with them too. “What are you doing out here so late?"

"I could ask you the same thing," you retort playfully, making him smile. You move to sit down where you were standing. You spread the crystals neatly on the wood, making a mental note to get them before you go to bed.

"I couldn't sleep, so I came out here to hang out, but then a hippocampus swam up. One of its friends got stuck in a fisher's net not too far from here, so I went to help," he explains, and you nod. "I told you my excuse, so what's yours?"

You hum, "It's a full moon out tonight, so I thought I should take my crystals out. I also needed moon water for a potion, so I collected some for that," you point over at the big mason jar full of lake water. "It’s not as cool as your excuse,” you say playfully.

A short laugh comes from Percy, and when you look up from your crystals, you notice he was looking at Ambrose again, who was still in his tense stance. Ambrose was especially protective of you and Atticus, and it wasn’t unusual for him to be cautious of the new people you come across. You assumed that Ambrose was particularly tense with Percy since he had successfully caught you both by surprise.

"Ambrose, relax.” You pat the top of his head to soothe him. "Lay down." Ambrose whines, licking your hand affectionately for a little, and you can tell he was still uneasy about the other. He was hesitant, but he follows your command anyway, laying down with his head on your lap.

"You can touch him?" Percy asks, his eyes wide and curious as he watches you pet Ambrose.

"Yeah, I can touch ghosts in general. My mother is Hecate, goddess of necromancy, along with magic, the night and the moon," you tell him. "This is Ambrose. My mother gifted him to me to be my familiar, kinda like a guardian." You look down at the hound, smiling softly as you scratch behind his ear softly.

Ambrose is a burly Molossian Hound who lived in the time of Alexander The Great. From what your father told you, his breed was well valued in Ancient Greek and Roman times and was often used in war. It is easy to understand why the breed was used in war. Ambrose is huge and muscular, about 6 feet tall when he stands on his hind legs, and he weighs around 200 pounds. At first, Ambrose can come off as a little intimidating. You remember how your siblings had avoided him when you first arrived at camp before they realized that he was the clearest definition of a gentle giant. Even though he was trained to fight when he was alive, he was still as gentle as a well-trained house dog unless he was given a reason not to be.

"When did you get him?" Percy asks, his eyes focusing on Ambrose’s translucent body that looked like it is made up of this gray swirling vapor. He couldn’t exactly wrap his head around how Ambrose’s head was comfortably propped up on your thigh.

"We met on the night I was on my way to Camp so about 2 years ago. Without him, my brother and I probably would have never made it to the borders.” You look up at Percy, meeting his eyes again; you watch as his face softens as he shifts to lean back on his hand.

"Really?" You hum and nod, ready to drop the conversation there, thinking you shouldn’t bore him with the details. You didn’t really like talking about it much, but the way he was looking at you made you feel like he was inviting you to continue talking.

"We got separated from our father at the gas station a couple of miles away from here. He went inside the convenience store to get us snacks, and while he was in there, a cyclops had found us, tried to grab us out of his car. We jumped out and ran into the woods nearby," you explain as you look out at the dark horizon.

You remember the sound of your father yelling after you and Atticus and how it broke your heart hearing, for the first time, such despair in his voice. You knew your dad didn’t want to bring you guys to camp, but he knew it was in Atticus’s and your best interest to come here and be with other people like you guys.

When you and Atticus started developing your powers, your father had simply told you guys that you were special and to refrain from using your telekinesis anywhere else but home. He didn’t say anything more until one night, you and Atticus had gotten in a screaming match about a reason you don’t even remember. However, in your screaming match, the both of you were so angry that a green aura had formed around you both, and books, magazines, even cutlery were being flown across the room because of the sheer energy you were admitting as a unit. It was then your father had decided to take you and Atticus to the camp to control and learn about your powers before you guys destroyed the house over a dumb argument like who’s turn is it to have the TV remote.

"We were more concerned about the monster hurting our dad, so we decided on a whim to run in the forest. My brother and I have telekinesis powers, and I aimed well enough to send a rock right at the cyclops eye. We lost him a little after that, but we didn't know where we were. We made too many twists and turns; we had no idea what direction we came from. And then, this buddy appeared out of nowhere from a distance. I saw him glowing from far away and couldn’t make out what he was, but I felt that I had to follow him. So we did, and he got us to camp with no detours for any other monsters. He's been with me ever since," you say, and a low whine comes from Ambrose’s mouth as he nuzzles the side of his face on your thigh contentedly.

Percy nods, and he huffs softly, "You guys got lucky. How old were you and your brother when you got to camp?"

"12, we're twins. We actually got here a couple of weeks after you did,” you mention. You watch Percy’s mouth curve into a half-smirk.

“Wow," he says, amused, and shakes his head. “So you have a twin and a dead dog, no fair," he jokes. You giggle, rolling your eyes playfully,

"Oh please, and you have crazy water powers. You’re completely dry after swimming! I think that's pretty envy-worthy."

"Hey-,” he shrugs, taking a second as if to form a protest. “I guess you're right,” he admits and laughs. You laugh with him, opening your mouth to say something else but unfortunately, you were interrupted by a screech echoing in the distance.

Both you and Percy stand up quickly, trying to figure out which direction it came from. “The harpies,” you both mutter in unison. You bend down to grab your things, and you look at Ambrose.

"Go distract them, bud," you tell him, and Ambrose jumps up to his feet, and you watch as he runs away, barking to get their attention. Just then, you see the wings of the Harpies coming up from the trees of the forest. You turn to Percy, grabbing his hand quick,

“Incantare: Transpectus!" You exclaim confidently, closing your eyes to envision you and Percy becoming transparent on the dock. You've never tried doing this spell before, but you've gotten better at visualizing and setting intentions, so you had some hope in yourself. You open your eyes, not feeling any different, and you hoped that you just didn't make a fool of yourself in front of Percy. But when you look down at your hand hesitantly and notice it was hard to make out since you were see-through like glass, you sigh in relief. You smile to yourself, more than satisfied that you were able to pull that off.

"Woah, are we invisible?" You look over at Percy, able to see him just fine since he was under the spell with you. Percy looks down at himself, eyes widened as he processes he can’t see his body anymore. You observe him for a second, finding it cute how he looked surprised and obviously entertained at the fact that he was completely see-through. You feel yourself growing a little flustered, trying not to focus too much on the fact that you were holding hands with him.

"Something like that. C'mon, it won’t last too long," you whisper, and your grip around his hand tightens as you guys begin running to his cabin. You hear the harpies screeching in frustration as they swoop down to try and grab Ambrose, only for their claws to go right through him. While the harpies were growing more annoyed, Ambrose, on the other hand, was having way too much fun, running in circles and barking at them as if he’s teasing.

"Man, I wish I had a ghost dog," you hear Percy mutter behind you as you arrive at the steps of his cabin.

"Yeah, Ambrose is pretty great," you admit, watching him play with the harpies before shifting your gaze over to Percy. "Thanks for getting the crystal for me." As much as you wanted to stay talking to him, you knew you couldn't stay too long. You were still eager to finish studying, and Ambrose can only hold off the harpies for so long.

"It was no problem. It was on my way up anyways," he shrugs, and you smile, trying to ignore the fluttering feeling in your stomach. You look down, the two of you still holding hands even though the spell wore off already. You awkwardly let go of his hand, shifting on your feet.

"Well, I'll see you around," you say sheepishly, fiddling with your fingers.

"Yeah, I'll see you.” His hand comes up in an awkward wave. You nod, returning the wave. Your eyes meet Percy’s green ones one more time before turning on your heels and walking down the steps of his cabin. You notice that Ambrose is now long gone into the forest, taking the harpies with him to give you time to rush to the other side where your cabin is.

As you hurry back to your cabin, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you replayed the interaction you just had with Percy, and you couldn't help but wonder when would be the next time you could talk to him.

You carefully hoist yourself up, climb back into the cabin through the window, sighing softly once you get in. You slowly close the window, your face scrunching at the creaking sound, but you successfully get it closed before turning around, only to be faced with Connor Stoll standing a few feet away with his arms crossed over his chest. You gasp loudly, almost dropping the mason jar in your hand, being startled for the second time tonight.

“Oh, look who’s back,” he says, his lips pulled in his usual mischievous smirk, his right eyebrow raised as if he's suspicious of you. You shift, giggling nervously under his graze,

"Hey, Con.” Shit. You knew he wasn’t asleep, and a part of you wasn’t surprised that he had caught you sneaking out again. You weren’t too worried since Connor wasn’t one to be strict or easily angered, neither was Travis, but you can understand if he did get a little upset with you since the cabin could also get in trouble, and he worried about you getting hurt.

"You leave so often, I'm starting to think you're seeing someone," he teases, and you furrow your eyebrows, not really sure what he was trying to get at.

"I'm not seeing anyone. You know what I do when I sneak out," you tell him, putting your hand out to show him the jar full of water. After being caught the first couple of times, you had explained to Connor why you occasionally needed to head out at night. He was understanding of your reasons, telling you to try and not sneak out as often. When he did catch you, he always kept your outings secret. It came with a price, though. You were sometimes stuck doing extra chores, especially anything that had to do with cleaning, since he hated doing anything that had to do with mopping or sweeping.

"So that wasn't you and Percy on the dock?" Your eyes widen, and you feel your face get hot again. You shake your head, stumbling over your words for a second.

"Uh… n- that was a coincidence!" You hear him snort, laughing quietly as if he didn't believe you. Even though he couldn't see your facial expression very well in this lighting, he can still tell how flustered you were at his sudden question.

"Yeah, sure," he says sarcastically, and he hums, "Anyways, what are you going to do for me so that I don't tell on you?" He asks, and your mouth drops open. Usually, he wasn't so forward, and he never threatened to tell on you. "I might spread a rumor about you and Percy rendezvousing at midnight. The Aphrodite cabin will have a hoot with that one."

You gasp, "Connor, are you blackmailing me right now?" You narrow your eyes at him, and he shrugs,

"I guess you can say I am." You shake your head, walking over to your desk to put down your moon water before turning toward him and crossing your arms in front of your chest.

"... what do you want?" You ask, expecting him to make you take up one of his chores. But from the way he was smiling at you, you can tell that there was something more he wanted, and you were beginning to worry.

"Help me turn the Ares Cabin into bunnies," he says, and you shake your head frantically,

"No way! Clarisse will kill me," you whisper. Connor smiles,

"No, she won't. She can't kill you if she's a bunny," he points out, and your face falls flat,

"They're not gonna stay bunnies forever," you say, and you fiddle with your fingers nervously at the idea of the outrage you'd get from the Ares Cabin after shifting back from being bunnies. "I don't know, Con. I don't even know if I can turn all of them into bunnies at once."

Connor waves his hand at you, dismissing your concern. "I don't care for the logistics now. We can work on that later, but you have to agree to at least help me," he says. "Or I'm telling everyone I saw you smooching Percy on the dock."

"What!? We didn't even kiss. We talked for like 5 minutes!" You whisper-yell, your reactions much too entertaining for him, and he was having a hard time holding in his laugh.

"Your decision, y/n."

You sigh, throwing your head back. You look at the ceiling for a second as you consider your two choices. And you decide that getting your head potentially put on a stick by Clarisse was better than the burning embarrassment of Percy thinking you're spreading rumors about kissing him. "Fine, whatever. I'll help you do the bunny thing," you mumble, your shoulders slouched.

Connor nods with a proud smile on his face for trapping you into helping him. "Good choice. I will be going back to sleep now. Good night… again," he announces, turning on his heels and walking over to his bed. You frown a little as you walk back to your desk to study. Plopping down onto your chair, you decide that you’ll worry about Connor’s little plan later so you can focus on your studying. After a while, Ambrose comes trotting in, joining you by the desk as usual. You smile at him, praising the other for distracting the harpies for you before he lays down, his head laying on your foot.

As you study, you find that you couldn’t help your mind drifting back to Percy once and a while. You deem that there was no way that you could have a crush on him since you guys have only spoken once. In the midst of your internal debate to decide what you felt for him, you suddenly remember the crystal that was retrieved for you. You remember how Percy presented it to you, holding it out for you with his fingertips. It was your rose quartz. What a coincidence. You smile, rolling your eyes as you tell yourself that you’re thinking too much into it. You look over, noticing the dim illuminating light of the beginning sunrise shining through the curtains. You sigh, deciding that you should probably get to sleep and take advantage of the maybe, four hours of sleep you’ll get tonight. You close your herbology book before making your way to your bed, and with a soft sigh, you retreat under the covers, and finally, you surrender to your drowsiness.

masterlist

[ayybtch]

Bread

Wanda Maximoff x f!Reader, Baker!AU + Friends to Lovers

Chapter 5 of Made With Love

Word Count: 3,292

Chapter Warnings: Our two favorite idiots are so blind it’s not even funny, lots of yearning, some brief mentions of alcohol consumption towards the end

A/N: Hey guys! Thanks for being patient with me on getting this posted. School and work have been crazy, but I’m almost done for the semester so hopefully it won't be as long for the next update. Shout out to my Grandma for sending me her paprikash recipe so I would actually know what I was talking about for this chapter. We literally never speak but she did me a real solid on this one and I will be adding paprikash into my regular cooking schedule once fall hits. Full disclosure though, I literally Googled “What wine pairs with chicken paprikash” and the wines mentioned are what it gave me. Please let me know what you think! I love reading your guys’s comments, it really makes my day.

Hey, so everyone is going to be out on a mission tomorrow night except for me. Any chance I can cash in on that raincheck? There’s a Bewitched marathon happening.

You smiled at Wanda’s message, quickly typing out your response. Definitely! Would you like to join me for bread day tomorrow?

She responded almost immediately. YES!

You couldn’t help but laugh at her enthusiasm. She had been wanting to make bread ever since the two of you made snickerdoodles. She brought it up almost constantly, mostly as a joke to get back at you for all of the times you teased her about it.

Up to this point, Wanda refused to accept any of your attempts to say thank you for helping you out through the cupcake debacle, saying that this was the sort of thing that friends were for. It only felt right that this should be the next thing to bake as your own special way of saying thank you.

As excited as you were to spend time with her and teach her how to do this, you couldn’t help but feel incredibly nervous at the same time. Why had Wanda decided to share her sexuality with you after all this time?

Okay, scratch that. You understood why she shared it with you when she did. The real question is what to do with the information now that you had it.

Was it just a general knowledge sort of a deal? Or was this her way of trying to say she was interested?

You groaned and put your head in your hands. This is why you hadn’t dated someone since your last relationship ended. You needed big flashing lights that screamed “I want to date you!” before you’d catch on, and even that didn’t work sometimes. If someone tried to be subtle, you were an absolute lost cause. You did your best to recall every interaction you had with Wanda that could even remotely be considered as her flirting or expressing interest.

She did smile at you a lot, even more than she smiled at Sam and Bucky who she clearly adored. She also certainly didn’t shy away from physical contact and had even initiated it several times. She had also remembered your coffee and bagel order from the one random time it came up weeks ago...

Suddenly, everything started to add up. All of those glances that had left your heart racing, all of those little touches...maybe Wanda was interested in you?

Your heart felt ready to burst out of your chest with joy.

Wanda didn’t arrive at the bakery until almost noon. The majority of the bread had been baked already; the only bread left to make was hers.

The two of you said your hello’s and caught up a bit as she stepped in to put on her apron and began washing her hands. Once the conversation slowed, you started your rundown for today’s bake.

“Bread is actually a lot easier than it looks but there are a couple of points we’re going to need to be careful at. I’ll remind you about them as we go about but I figured it would be good to have them all in your head now.

“We’re going to be very conscientious about temperatures this entire bake in a way we haven’t really needed to before. When we’re dealing with the yeast, we need the milk around 110 to 115o so the yeast activates properly. We also want things to be warm during the rise times, which shouldn’t be too much of an issue given the ovens have been on most of the day. Once it’s in the oven, we aren’t going to mess with it at all until the last couple minutes and that’s only if we need it to brown further.”

Wanda nodded along as you spoke. “I don’t know how much of an actual problem this is because you’re here, but I always hear a lot about overworking or underworking the dough. How do I know if it’s been kneaded enough?”

“Ah, good question! If the dough keeps getting really flat and not holding its shape, it’s underworked. If the dough is overworked, it gets kind of hard and not easy to work with. The good news is that we’re kneading by hand since it’s your first time and it’s a lot less likely to happen that way than in a mixer.”

She looked unconvinced but nodded. “Okay, so where do we begin?”

The first fifteen minutes of the bake flew by quickly. The yeast mixture had been prepared and was almost ready for the rest of the ingredients to be mixed in. Wanda was completely in awe at how the mixture looked.

To be fair to her though, the yeast mixture does look very weird if you’re not used to seeing it.

Once the flour, salt, and eggs were mixed in, the true fun began. Everything was mixed just enough to be combined into a rough, sticky ball of dough before being taken out of the mixer and onto the floured counter. Wanda followed along as you sprinkled some flour on your dough and began to knead, doing her best to mirror your motions.

You watched her out of the corner of your eye as you worked the dough, waiting to see what she would do. It was hard to hold back your giggles as you watched her. She was practically just squeezing the dough in different directions. You gave her a few minutes to see if she would work things out, but eventually, you set your dough down and moved closer to her.

“Here, let me help,” you said. Your hands moved so they were on top of hers, you tried guiding her through the motions, only for things to fail miserably.

“Okay, can I try something that might be a little weird? It’s just that I’m not used to kneading at an angle like that so it’s throwing off my muscle memory.”

She nodded and you adjusted yourself so you were now standing behind her. Your arms slid around either side of her waist and your hands rested on top of hers. This time, your hands knew what they were doing and you were able to help guide her through the motion. Even after she got it, you remained standing behind her, your chin resting against her shoulder.

The feelings that washed over you as you stood there with her were hard to describe. There was nothing necessarily comfortable about the position you were in, but your whole body felt more relaxed than it had all day. At the same time though, everything felt electrifying. You hoped she couldn’t feel the way your heart was thumping against your chest.

It wasn’t until you realized Wanda had paused and turned back slightly to face you slightly that you stepped back. An apology rose up in your throat only to die as you noticed the small smile on her face. You shot a smile back at her before moving back to your spot, turning your attention back to the job at hand.

The rest of the bake went smoothly, despite Wanda’s fretting about if the bread was rising enough. It didn’t take long before you had two perfectly round loaves of bread sitting next to each other on the cooling rack. Wanda had not stopped smiling since they came out of the oven. Even though that was her usual response, this time felt different.

For the second time that day, you were left trying to describe impossible feelings. Was it her eyes that felt different? They were lit beautifully, radiating so much joy it was impossible to not feel just as excited. But how was that any different from usual? Her eyes always captivated you and left you breathless. Maybe it was the new shade of pink lipstick she had on. It was perfectly accentuating the shape of her lips, to the point you couldn’t help but wonder what it might be like to feel them pressed against yours.

You may not be able to pinpoint what the look was, all you knew is that you were grateful to be a part of why her smile was so big.

After she finished taking pictures of the loaves, she turned to you. “That was incredible! I had no idea bread could be that simple.”

You nodded along, unable to hold back a smile. “I told you it wasn’t too bad, there are just a couple spots you have to be sure to navigate well. And clearly -” you gestured towards the loaves, “- you did. Maybe I should start worrying about you stealing my job.”

Her laughter filled the kitchen at your teasing.

As her laugher began to die out, her focus turned back on to you. “Okay, so what time were you thinking of coming over? I’m making us dinner and want to try and have it finishing up right around the time you get there.”

You glanced over at the clock and then back to the to-do list written out on the whiteboard above your desk before answering, “I think it’ll probably be close to five if I had to guess. I still have to finish cleaning some stuff here and I promised to go help Charlie work out some menu options for that picnic thing that’s coming up.”

Wanda nodded along, “Are you going to that?”

“I’m working it, so I, unfortunately, don’t have much of a choice.”

She nodded again. “Same here, actually. All of the Avengers are required to be unless there’s some sort of alien invasion again or something…” She trailed off a moment before continuing. “I was planning on making paprikash. Is that okay with you? I don’t know if there’s anything you can’t or don’t like to eat.”

“I’ve actually never had that before so that would be wonderful! I’m pretty easy when it comes to food. The only things I don’t like are mushrooms and zucchini, but I’ll still eat them if I have to.”

Wanda gasped, “You don’t like mushrooms? How do you not like mushrooms?”

You just shrugged, “Okay, I’m actually pretty neutral on mushrooms. I’ll still eat them. I just don’t go out of my way to make them for myself. Zucchini is a firm no, though.”

She gave you a side-eye but relented. “Well, there are no mushrooms or zucchini in this, but just know I’m going to have to keep an eye on you from now on. I don’t know how we’ve made it this far into our friendship without me knowing you’re an anti-mushroom heathen.”

The two of you joked around for a few minutes longer before she left to start preparing for dinner.

Planning the menu with Charlie didn’t take very long, which you were grateful for. He already had a decent idea of what he wanted to do, so the main thing left was to figure out how much food to order to prepare it. The two of you also agreed upon what you needed to make. Most of your responsibilities centered around desserts, specifically pies, though you agreed to make some fresh rolls and soft pretzels as well.

You were thankful for the meeting to end though because it meant the remaining time you had left could be spent getting ready to go see Wanda.

‘Getting ready’ was perhaps a bit dramatic. You were just changing out of your usual work clothes into something a little cuter. It was nothing particularly fancy, but it was an outfit you felt both confident and comfortable in. You had also made sure to pack some toiletries that morning, allowing you to freshen up your deodorant and brush your teeth as well.

As you stepped into the elevator and pressed the button, you couldn’t help but feel a bit jittery. The past few times you’ve made your way to that part of the building you’ve been nervous about the other Avengers not wanting you there. This time though, all of your nerves could be attributed entirely to Wanda. You weren’t sure what to expect of tonight, but you were determined to have a fun night filled with food and good company.

The warm smell of paprika filled the air and made your stomach grumble as soon as you stepped out of the elevator. Once you were inside, you found Wanda in the kitchen, stirring in some additional seasonings.

“This smells incredible,” you said, setting the two loaves of bread down on the counter.

Wanda beamed. “Thanks! This is my great grandmother’s recipe and is one of my favorite things to make.” As she set the spoon down, she walked towards the fridge. “I bought some wine to go along with dinner if you would like some.”

“Yes please, wine sounds amazing right now.”

“I have a chardonnay and a Barolo, which would you prefer?” she asked, turning back towards you.

You shrugged, “Whichever one you want.”

She nodded and pulled out the Barolo. It didn’t take long for the bottle to be opened and to have a glass of wine in your hand.

It wasn’t until you took your first sip that you realized Wanda had also changed. Your breathing hitched as you looked her up and down. Gone were her jeans and old T-shirts, replaced by a pair of cut-off shorts and a stylishly oversized T-shirt. If it weren’t for the fuzzy wool socks on her feet, you’d assume she was camera-ready. Hell, even with the funny socks she was the most beautiful woman you had ever seen.

You realized you were staring and abruptly began looking around the kitchen, trying to find something to do that would take your mind off of how hot Wanda looked. “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Wanda shook her head no. “There’s not really anything to be done, this just needs to simmer for about another five minutes and we’ll be good to go. Why don’t you go have a seat at the table and I’ll be over in just a moment with some bread slices and butter. Once this is ready I’ll bring it in as well.”

You nodded and made your way out of the kitchen and towards the table.

It wasn’t until you were seated that you realized how well the table was set. Both seats had beautiful flatware laid out, with silverware organized neatly to the side. Underneath was a crisp, pure white table cloth. What caught your attention the most though were the two lit candles sitting between your chair and hers. It wasn’t until you noticed the candles that you also noticed the music playing softly in the background.

Everything about the setup screamed ‘fancy first date’.

Before you had much of a chance to dwell on the thought, Wanda arrived with several slices of bread and a small dish of butter. You thanked her before she walked back towards the kitchen. She returned soon after with the pot of paprikash, setting it on the hot pad in the center of the table. She walked around to her seat and soon both of you had your plates filled and began to eat.

It was impossible to hold back a satisfied sigh as you took your first bite. It tasted just as delicious, if not better than it smelled. The chicken was cooked perfectly and all but melted in your mouth. The paprika added a nice rich flavor and added extra depth to the creaminess of the sauce.

“Wanda this is incredible.”

She smiled at you brightly, “If you think it’s good by itself, try dipping the bread with some butter in it.”

You did as she said and this time instead of a satisfied sigh, you let out a satisfied moan. “You are going to have to give me this recipe. This is so good I don’t even know what to say, all I want to do is keep eating.”

Wanda laughed at your enthusiasm. “Tell you what, I’ll teach you how to make it sometime. It’s about time I taught you something in the kitchen.”

Dinner was a blast. The two of you spent more of it laughing and talking than eating. The bottle of Barolo was finished before dinner was done. It didn’t take long before it was replaced by the chardonnay.

Once dinner was over, you fought Wanda to let you help clean up the kitchen. Her argument that guests shouldn’t help was shot down as you pointed out she’s technically a guest in the bakery, yet she always helps clean up after she’s been in there. She grumbled about it but quickly conceded. It didn’t take long for the kitchen to be cleaned up and even less time after that for her to drag you over to the couch.

The first-ever episode of “Bewitched” was halfway finished by the time the two of you had settled into your spots on the couch. Currently, Samantha and Darrin were at his ex-girlfriend's house for a dinner party and the girlfriend was doing everything she could to make Samantha feel inferior. Samantha, of course, wasn’t having it and was willing to fudge her promises of not using magic to level the playing field.

Wanda laughed along perfectly in time with the sitcom track. The more she laughed, the more your attention turned from being on the TV to be on her. This was the most relaxed and happy you had ever seen her. She had a small, almost imperceivable smile that grew as she became more and more emerged into the episode. Each time she laughed, you noticed how her nose would scrunch up in the cutest way and it took everything you had to not lean over and kiss her.

What you wouldn’t give to make her as happy as this show.

It wasn’t until the end credits were about to roll that you forced yourself to look back at the screen, unsure of how she’d respond if she caught you staring.

As the next episode cued up, she reached out and grabbed her glass of wine before turning to face you.“So, what do you think? Could I have been a Samantha in another life?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Definitely, though I can’t see you being willing to hide your powers just because a man wants you to.”

Wanda nearly choked on the sip of wine she had taken. “You got me there.”

She finished the glass and set it back on the table before letting out a loud yawn. “Sorry, I probably should’ve warned you beforehand that wine makes me a little sleepy.” She paused for a moment before she continued, “It also makes me incredibly cuddly…”

A rush of emotions washed over you as you processed her words. Was she asking to come cuddle with you?

The hopeful look in her eye suggested she was.

Pure, unadulterated joy swept over your body and you had to fight the urge to jump up and down from excitement. You did your best to collect yourself before you replied, hoping that the answer was indeed what you were looking for.

“Is that your way of asking if you can come snuggle?”

She smiled at you sheepishly, which made you laugh. You moved over on the couch, moving around some of the throw pillows so you could lay down.

“Well, what are you waiting for then?”

Wanda didn’t hesitate for a moment and soon was laying on top of you, her head resting on your chest. One of your arms wrapped loosely around her back after she settled in.

A comfortable silence fell over you as you laid there together, watching Bewitched until you fell asleep.

[theasstour]

𝐁𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬.

𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 𝟏𝟐.𝟏𝐤 𝐍𝐁: 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐚𝐧𝐱𝐢𝐞𝐭𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞

A/N: IT’S FINALLY HERE! ARCHITECT!HARRY! 🏛️❣️✨ It’s been ages since I posted writing on here and it feels good to be back! Believe me when I say that though nothing much happens in this chapter, something will go down in absolutely every chapter, so you’ll hopefully be entertained at one point AOIJFOIREJ! I absolutely adore architect!harry (yearly as much as I adore you lot), I hope you lot will too! Now, let’s start this journey, shall we? 🥰🌟

Friday, 15 September 2017

Monday September 8th 2014. Y/N had spent an abnormal amount of time thinking about that day over the last three years. Sometimes, even if she were in the middle of something else or thinking about a topic completely unrelated, it would just come back to her. Like a flash, as if someone turned on the dim light inside a dark room, she would be taken back to a time, a moment, that would be burned into her brain forever. It would paralyse her for a few seconds, making her unable to do or think or be anything besides that memory. It was almost like, at this point, she thought the ghost of her sister would never quite leave her.

The countless times she had recounted this specific memory, Y/N could never remember exactly what it was that had woken her that late Monday night, or morning rather, in September 2014. One second she was asleep, and then the next, she was awake. She remembered herself looking at the blinds of the window, how they weren’t fully closed that night for some reason, so the orange light from the streetlamp outside shone through the small slits, her room completely silent. This must have been what woke her up from her trance. The blinds were always closed, and the window was always open, letting in fresh air and the noises of Nottingham into her room. It was like her conscious had done it for her, alerted her that something was off and she needed to check her surroundings.

Y/N blinked, realising that the only sound in the room was her eyelids meeting and parting, and the rustling of her bedsheets as she made to sit up in bed. That was when she noticed a flicker of movement in the shadow beside her door. Something unexpected, something unlike what normally was.

“Hello?” Y/N asked, voice hoarse as she sat up completely in bed.

The room was quiet save for the sound of a trainer against Y/N’s carpeted floor. It was faint, and had Y/N’s window been open, she probably would not have heard it. She didn’t remember how she felt in that moment, it was like all emotion was stripped from that memory in order for her to objectively pick it apart over and over and over again. She could therefore not remember how she had felt when she recognised her sister, but she knew she must have been shocked.

“Marcela?” Y/N asked when she recognised the short brown hair of her sister in the shadow on the wall.

A small sigh and Y/N’s older sister stepped forward, letting the dim light of the outside streetlamp wash over her. Y/N had always envied her older sister for right about anything. The colour of her brown eyes, the way her hair looked almost bronze-coloured if the sun hit it just right on late summer afternoons, her wide and pretty smile, charming personality, and slim body were some of the many things that Y/N was jealous of. It just seemed like her sister lived a better, more eventful and meaningful life than Y/N ever would.

Even standing there, wearing a white and lilac floral summer dress, dungaree jacket and white Vans, in the middle of the night or early morning, Y/N thought Marcela had everything together. But whatever happened next to Y/N’s sister, Marcela could never have had it fully together, Y/N realised that now. Nothing that gruesome, that unknowable, could happen to someone who had it all figured out.

“Mari, what’re you doing here?” Y/N asked, reaching for her glasses on the nightstand and pushing them onto her face. “Aren’t you supposed to be in Newport?”

“Yeah,” Marcela answered, smiling at Y/N as if her being in her little sister’s room that late at night, when the world was asleep, was completely normal.

“What’re you doing here?” Y/N asked again.

“I forgot some things. Kit and I are on the way back. He’s waiting in the car.”

In that moment, Y/N did not think to ask Marcela of what exactly her sister had forgotten in Y/N’s room, which was again something she had beaten herself up for since.

“Y/N,” Marcela said, cocking her head to the side and smiling ever so slightly. “You should be asleep.”

Y/N forgot how to speak, just looking at her older sister as her still slow and sleepy brain tried to comprehend what was going on.

“It’s late, you’ve got school tomorrow.” Marcela walked backward towards the door, still directing that same reassuring smile at Y/N on the way there. “You know how grumpy you’re gonna be tomorrow morning if you don’t get your eight hours.”

“When will you be back?”

Marcela smiled. “Next weekend. I told you this.”

Y/N nodded again, feeling like this was all some sort of hallucination. Maybe it was just a dream.

Marcela held up her right hand and showed off the tattoo just below her thumb. One letter, for Y/N. Y/N’s hand immediately fell to the M just below her own right thumb. A M for Marcela. They had gotten it four months earlier for Y/N’s 16th. Y/N still remembered how scared she was, she did not want to be in pain. Marcela had informed her that it would hurt, but it would all be worth it in the end. Her sister had gotten a few tattoos, most of them up and down her arms, but Y/N knew she wanted even more of them. Y/N supposed her love for tattoos had started because of her sister. After her sister died, Y/N had just gone on to get more and more tattoos. She supposed it had been a coping mechanism in the beginning, to somehow feel close to Marcela, yet forget about her and everything for a little while as the smell of fresh ink, the sound of the needle, and the feel of a tingling pain took over all she knew.

“I’ll be back next weekend. Promise. Just let me have this week with Kit, yeah?”

Y/N swore she could hear a slight tremor to her sister’s voice. However, Marcela was not shaking as she took a hold of the door handle, and she did not look the slightest bit scared or like she was crying for help. No, she just looked like the Marcela Y/N had always known. And that was the problem. Nothing had been out of the ordinary. Something had to have been out of the ordinary.

“Y/N?”

She blinked, realising that she had been fixated on the M tattoo by her thumb again. She would sometimes drift off like this, thrown back to that moment in time that haunted her still, three years later.

“Amorzinho?”

Y/N looked up at her father who glanced over his shoulder at her, a slight furrow to his brows as if he knew exactly where she had just been. Davi and Y/N had always understood each other like that, especially after everything with Marcela happened three years ago. They would sometimes just find the other one staring out into thin air, or at something significant to Marcela, and the other would know right away where the other one had gone. Y/N did not know what memory her papai went back to, she never asked and, quite frankly, did not want to know. That whole experience was hard enough as it was, she had enough with her own memories and regrets.

“Y/N, you alright?” Davi asked, reaching for his daughter’s knee and squeezing it lightly. His positioning was a bit awkward from where he sat in the passenger seat and she sat right behind him in the car, but she felt reassured by his tender action nevertheless.

“Alright, pai,” Y/N answered, laying her hand on top of his.

Her father had always been the affectionate type. He would always go around touching the people that meant the most to him, whether it was a light caress to their cheek, a squeeze to their shoulder, a long hug, or a kiss to their cheek. Having grown up with a single mother and an older sister, he had learned from the best, and had not changed, even for his wife who had never been huge on showing affection. Y/N guessed that, in the case of her parents, opposites really did attract.

Where her father was loud, welcoming, and vulnerable, her mother was a bit more reserved, quiet, and tough. However, when Lottie had, at the ripe age of 24, travelled around South America with her mates after finishing her business degree, she had met Davi in Santos in Southern Brazil, the state of São Paulo, and they had fallen in love right away. It took a year for Lottie to leave Santos after that, bringing her then fiancé with her home to meet her family in Nottingham. Since then, the two of them had been together, and had brought Marcela and Y/N into this world.

It would be weird to not spend every single day with her parents. Everything was about to change drastically. The last time abrupt and extreme change had happened was that morning when Y/N’s parents realised Marcela hadn’t made it home from their cabin in Newport, Wales in time. It had been the day she disappeared. When they had gotten the news that she was murdered.

Y/N hoped her papai couldn’t tell that she was shaking.

“It’s not far now,” Lottie said from the driver’s seat. “Just a few minutes.”

Y/N nodded, looking out at the busy streets of North London as they drove on.

“You know what?” Davi said.

“What?”

“I think this is gonna be amazing.”

Y/N smiled at that, squeezing her father’s hand. “Yeah… I think it might be, too.”

“You will meet so many new people and learn so much. It will be the best time of your life.”

“I’ve told you, love. University was the absolute best time of my life.”

Davi looked at his wife.

Lottie clicked her tongue. “Oh, you know what I mean!”

“I do not. You say the best thing to ever happen to you is me, and yet-“

“-Darling, uni was the best time of my life, but meeting you was the best thing to happen to me.”

Davi threw his hands up in the air in exaggerated frustration, muttering something in Portuguese that Y/N did not catch. However, she couldn’t help her slight chuckle, and the grin on her face only widened when she saw her mother smiling, and then her father taking her hand, planting a lingering kiss to her skin before putting it back on the steering wheel. It was nice to witness casual affection between them like this. It was normal for Y/N to see it at this point, they had been like this her entire time growing up, but it was nice to be reminded that her parents loved each other.

“We’ll be on Orsman Road in five minutes tops,” Lottie said, looking back at Y/N as she stopped at a red light. “Nathan’s gonna meet you outside with your flat keys and such, yeah?”

“Yeah, he said he’d pick them up for me at the letting firm before I arrived.”

“Good,” Davi said.

“It’s nice that you get to move into an actual flat your first year of uni so that you get to be with someone you already know,” Lottie said. “As long as the uni’s got your address and knows you’ve got someplace to live, not living in uni accommodation is alright, if I understand correctly.”

“That’s what they said, anyway,” Y/N said.

“You just need a home. You’ll be home with Nathan.”

Y/N nodded, looking out at Hackney as they drove on. “Yeah.”

“He’ll take you to campus after, yes? So you can register and everything?”

Though Y/N had gone over this plan with her parents countless of times these last three hours, as well as the days leading up to departure, it seemed that her mum needed to be reminded one too many times. Taking a deep breath, Y/N said, “Yes.”

“Good. It’s important that you make it there by your time slot at 5. Reckon there’s heaps of students that are going to register at Helmond today.”

“Probs.”

“It’s important to be on time.”

“We will be.”

“Yeah, remember-“

“-Charlotte,” Davi said, putting his hand on his wife’s thigh. “Y/N’s got it under control.”

Lottie chanced a look at Davi as she turned off the main road and onto a smaller one. Y/N recognised this street from the FaceTime calls with Nathan where he had shown her around the street and flat. Though Y/N had been looking forward to this day for what felt like centuries, parts of her were still nervous, and Nathan’s video guides around her new flat and new neighbourhood had calmed her nerves considerably. She felt like she had already been here, but she could not wait to explore the areas of Hoxton and Hackney that she had yet to see.

As they drove down Orsman Road, Y/N could make out a figure in the distance that she felt like she had not seen in ages. A grin was instantly planted on her face and she fidgeted in her seat, wanting to jump out of the car and in Nathan’s direction. Her tall, lanky, slim, red-haired best friend stood by the entrance to what Y/N assumed would be 36 Orsman Road, squinting in the direction of Y/N’s car. At the sight of it, he started jumping up and down, waving enthusiastically as if he was stranded on a deserted island and a plane was flying by over him. Davi laughed, recognising his daughter’s best friend from the countless sleepovers, dinner parties, and drives home drunk from house parties on the other side of town.

Nathan banged on the window as Lottie parked the car by the side of the road, walking as the car was reversed into place, grinning at Y/N the entire time.

“Oh, my life,” Nathan said through the window, hands pressed against it. Y/N pressed her own against his. “I swear, you’ve taken ages. Thought you were gonna stand me up there.”

“Mate,” Y/N said, opening the car and throwing herself into Nathan’s arms. “Couldn’t miss going to uni with you, could I?”

Nathan squealed and hugged Y/N back, though he had to bend at an unnatural angle in order to do so.

“Nate, how are you?” Lottie asked as her and Davi started unloading the boot of the car, putting bags and boxes on the pavement to be carried upstairs.

“Can’t complain, Lottie, I really can’t. Just moved into a flat with me mates, we might go out tonight, and I have the pleasure of seeing your beautiful face today.”

Lottie laughed, squeezing Nathan’s arm before putting one of Y/N’s bags on her shoulder.

“Right, it’s the first and second floor,” Nathan explained, and upon seeing Davi’s confused expression, added, “It’s split-level.”

“Ahh!”

“Right.” Nathan bent down, taking one of the cardboard boxes. “I’ll show the way.”

“Stay behind, will you, darling?” Lottie asked Davi. “Just so we don’t leave anything on the pavement for anyone to nick.”

“Yes, you go ahead,” Davi answered, waving them off.

Nathan opened the front door and let Y/N and Lottie enter first. From the video calls, Y/N knew that once she arrived at the first story landing, the door to the left would be her and Nathan’s flat. Her new home. She was unsure if it would really dawn on her that she was going to be living on her own, without her parents, for the next three years, two of which were spent with Nathan in this flat. Living without her parents seemed liberating, but also terrifying. How was she going to survive without her papai’s cooking? Without the sound of her mother’s sewing machine? Without hearing their laughter as they watched something on the telly in the living room right below her room? How would she just go on living normally without them being close, like they had been all her life?

Nathan used his elbow to open the door and walked on in first this time to hold the door open for Y/N and her mum. Now, with her own two eyes, Y/N took in the place she would be living in over the next year, maybe two. The foyer they entered wasn’t long, but it had no particular furniture in it except for a painting on the wall opposite the stairs. Y/N suspected the landlord had printed out the popular painting and put it in a frame.

To her left was a slim white door – which matched the rest of the walls of the flat – that she knew to be the very spacious wardrobe. She would put her cardboard boxes and bags there once she was done unpacking, at least that was what Nathan had told her over FaceTime because he had done just that himself. To the right was another white door, this one with a window over it, and yet again, she knew this was where the kitchen would be. The door was open as she walked by, so she sneaked a look at it. The European Oak parquet stood in nice, warm contrast to the white cupboards and black countertops that went along the right wall and the wall right opposite to the door. Above the counter to the right, along the white tiled wall, was a long and small window. The view was nothing to brag about, just a greyish brick building and the pub on the other side of the road, The Stag’s Head.

Further along, the door into the living room stood open. As Lottie studied the kitchen, Y/N stood in the doorway to the shared space to just take a good look with her own two eyes. This, along with the bedrooms upstairs, was the only place in the flat with carpeted floor. The grey carpeted floor looked worn, as if it had been stepped on and used for countless of years prior, there were stains some places from what Y/N could only assume to be red wine and coffee. The left wall had four sets of windows; two smaller ones on the side and two bigger ones in the middle, where the smaller ones were the only ones it seemed that the tenants could open. The windows overlooked Regent’s Canal and the dark brown brick buildings on the other side. Not the prettiest view, but then, they were students and there weren’t many places in Haggerston, London that offered something pretty to look at.

Right underneath the windows, there was a radiator, and right beside that, positioned with its back against the wall opposite to the door where Y/N stood, was a blue sofa. In front of it, positioned against the wall facing it, was a table where a small telly was propped. A PlayStation was already plugged in and Y/N hoped it would be possible for her to somehow play Mario Kart on it as any other games did not interest her. Beside the sofa and the wooden coffee table in front of it, stood a red Poäng Ikea armchair with a footrest to match. That one also looked as worn as the rest of the living room. Y/N was sure that if she sat down, the chair would simply give out and turn to dust under her.

“Up we go,” Nathan said, walking straight past Y/N and up the stairs that leaned against the wall opposite to the living room and kitchen.

Before following her best friend, Y/N looked out through the windowed door, leading out to a mini terrace. You could barely fit two people out there, but she reckoned it would be a lush way to start her mornings. A fresh cuppa and the dreary sight of Haggerston.

“Y/N, you coming?!” Nathan called, making Y/N jump.

She looked back at her mum who just flashed a tight-lipped smile her way. Taking that as a good enough sign, Y/N followed Nathan upstairs. The hallway she was then presented with looked exactly like the one downstairs. However, right in front of her were two doors; the one to the left leading to the small toilet room, and the one beside it to the sink and shower. There was a door to her right as she came upstairs, two to her left, and another one right above where the terrace would be downstairs. That was the room Nathan was in now, putting down Y/N’s cardboard box.

“I’ll run downstairs and let Davi up so he can have a look,” Nathan smiled, walking past Y/N and Lottie to run down to the ground floor again.

The only things the room had to offer were a queen-sized bed, which at 204cm, took up all the space from wall to wall, but luckily enough, there was a drawer behind the door where Y/N could at least put all her clothes. This was the smallest room she had ever lived in.

“This is… rather spacious,” Lottie said, walking over to the windows above the bed and opening them both to let some fresh air in.

“Can’t really expect much if I’m gonna live in London, though. And I’m a student.”

“Precisely.” Lottie took her hands on her hips, looking out at the view from Y/N’s window. It was the same one as from the terrace just under them. The weather that day had been just as nice as Y/N had suspected of the South; a little-too-hot early autumn afternoon, partly cloudy, with busy pavements and crowded parks. She knew that the weather would soon match what she was used to from the Midlands. Even though she would now live farther south, she knew lousy weather was just as likely in London as it was in Nottingham. Y/N was suddenly very happy her mother had opened the windows to let in some of the canal wind.

A small sniffle sounded, and Y/N immediately looked to Lottie who still had her face turned away from her daughter.

“Mum?”

“Look at that!” Davi exclaimed, entering the room with a massive grin on his face.

The different reactions her parents had to the flat just reminded Y/N of how different they were.

“I know, pai,” Y/N said, looking around her room. “A wee bit small, but I’ve never needed much, have I?”

“With all those clothes you’ve brought?!” Lottie asked, looking down at the bag where Y/N’s clothes were, still not meeting anyone’s gaze. “You have too much clothes for your own good. When do you even use most of it?”

“Well, I don’t usually bring out the crop tops and see-through shirts for family gatherings, mum. Might be it.”

“Thank God.”

Y/N watched her mum for a few seconds, knowing something was wrong the moment she started fussing over the bare bed in front of her.

“You need a nightstand,” Davi pointed out, walking over to stand by the bed, indicating with his hand where the nightstand would go. “And a desk.”

“Nathan and I talked about popping by an Ikea. Nearest one’s in Greenwich, I think. Or Wembley.”

“Good! Nathan hasn’t brought his car down, has he?” Davi asked.

“No, he left it-“

“-Speaking of Nathan, I’ll go downstairs and let him carry the last box upstairs.” Before either Davi or Y/N could say anything else, Lottie was out the door and down the stairs, walking down to the car again.

Y/N looked at her papai, seeing a slight furrow to his brows as he regarded his wife retreating downstairs.

“What’s wrong?” Y/N asked in a low voice, listening to the sound of her mother’s footsteps down the stairs.

Davi met Y/N’s eyes, shrugging one shoulder. “Think she’s a little sad.”

Y/N bit the side of her mouth, sighing slowly.

“It’s a weird day. You’re moving away to University, and last time… last time we drove one of our daughters away like this, she didn’t come home.”

For some reason, Y/N had seen something like this happening. Though her mother had a weird way of showing it, she was constantly terrified after what happened to Marcela, and she was especially protective of Y/N. It had been hard for Lottie to let Y/N have any sort of social life that first year after Marcela. She would want to know everything about where Y/N was heading, who would be there, what they were going to do, and when Lottie could come and pick her up. Though this had been alright in the beginning - Y/N had known even then that it must be her mother’s way of coping with everything – it got a bit much as months, and then years went on. Y/N loved her mother, she really did, but she acted as if Y/N could not protect or take care of herself, something she was more than capable of.

“Pai, I won’t die at uni.”

“I know,” Davi said, wrapping an arm around Y/N’s shoulders. “But your mother still has a hard time taking it all in. You won’t be home, and she won’t have you near anymore. It’ll be a lot.”

Y/N nodded, resting her head back against her papai’s arm.

“Cosy moment,” Nathan smiled as he entered the room with the last box, placing it down on the floor beside the other ones.

“Is mum downstairs?” Y/N asked.

“Yeah, she’s by the car. Think she’s waiting for you two.”

Y/N and Davi nodded, Davi then taking a last look around his daughter’s room, smiling as he already knew she would make the bleak setting one many would envy. Y/N, after all, had always had a sense for these kinds of things.

“I’ll wait in my room, which is the one by the toilet,” Nathan informed, pointing to the open door behind him. “Just come knock when you’re ready to head for the uni, yeah?”

“Yeah, I’ll only be a minute.”

“No worries, babes, take all the time you need.”

Y/N smiled, walking past Nathan while Davi gave him a hug, wishing him good luck to come in the approaching first semester of University. It would be Nathan’s second year, so he knew what he was going into compared to her, but she knew Nathan appreciated Davi’s encouraging words regardless.

Y/N walked down towards the ground floor, her papai right behind her as they exited the flat building. Lottie stood by the car, arms crossed and eyes on something further up the street. It was as if she was looking for something, making sure it was safe for her Y/N to live there without her mother’s supervision.

“Mum,” Y/N said, now recognising the worry on her mother’s face. “Mum, it’ll be alright.”

She walked straight for her mother, wrapping her arms around her in a tight embrace. Though it would normally have been the other way around, the parents reassuring their kid they would be fine on their own, Y/N now patted her mother on the back and felt her bury her face into her daughter’s shoulder. Davi walked over as well, placing a hand on Lottie’s arm, squeezing her lightly. Some time went by without any one of them saying anything, just feeling and processing the words left unsaid.

Soon, Davi let out a small sigh, hugging the back of Y/N’s frame and mumbling her name against the top of his daughter’s head.

“We’re going to miss you,” he said, leaving a kiss against her hair.

Too caught up in her mother’s sadness, Y/N did not realise until just then that this was the moment she had been dreading. This one, where she stood by her parents’ car, saying goodbye to them and watching them start on their drive back home to Nottingham without her.

It was a complex state of being. Going away to University, starting a new life for herself, was something Y/N had dreamed of for as long as she could remember. She wanted to experience new things and to study something she was passionate about. But part of her was still pulling her back towards Nottingham, home. It would feel wrong, maybe even like being abandoned, thrust into adult reality, when she watched her parents drive off.

The thought of her living in the biggest city in the country by herself, did not sit right with her in that second. She was suddenly six again, her papai teaching her how to ride a bike. She was eleven, getting her period for the first time and her mother showing her how to use a pad. She was sixteen, having forgotten she had an important maths exam the next day, resulting in her and Davi sitting up for hours until she knew what she was doing. She lived at home, where her parents could protect her, help her, guide her, and provide for her at any given second. They would always be there whenever she needed them, always close and ready to pour every ounce of love onto her.

But now, even though she knew her parents would still love her the same and always be at her service whenever she needed them, now they would live separate lives. She would still be part of their lives and they would be part of hers, but they would not intermingle, get stuck, and weave themselves together like they had done since Y/N’s day of birth and until now. Y/N had not lived a single day in her life where she had not physically been close to her parents in one form or another. She had known it would be hard to watch them leave, she knew she would hate herself for this once she sat in her room all alone that same night or when researching information for an essay in a month’s time. Even though part of her was looking forward to what was to come, another part did not want to be left. She wanted a new life, but she was terrified of letting the old one, the safe one, go.

“Oh, my baby,” Lottie said as she pulled away, taking Y/N’s face in her hands. “My wee Y/N.”

Y/N went back in for another hug just so her mother wouldn’t see how glassy her eyes were. She felt them stinging and knew she would shed a tear soon.

“You will have no problems at uni,” Davi said, squeezing his daughter.

“How do you know that?” Y/N mumbled into her mother’s shoulder, closing her eyes as to make sure no tears escaped. She felt pathetic, but the overwhelming realisation that her parents would leave her in a few minutes had hit her like a brick.

“Because we know you. We know you’ll make friends; we know you’ll excel.” Davi took a step away, placing both hands on her shoulders. “Deep down, you know that, too.”

“As much as I hate the fact that I won’t get to see you every single day or know what you’re doing, I know you’re going to love being at University and you’re going to love London,” Lottie said, rubbing Y/N’s back.

“I don’t want you to leave.” Y/N sounded like a wee child, refusing to let her parents leave her at kindergarten for seven hours.

Davi squeezed Y/N’s shoulders again. “It’ll be alright, querida.”

“You don’t know that.”

“But I do. You feel like this now because this is a huge change. University is the beginning of adult life, it’s scary, but you’ll love it.”

Y/N chose not to argue with her papai as she knew he was only trying to make her feel better. And also, though she did not want them to leave, she knew that the longer she stayed there with them, the higher the risk was for her to bawl her eyes out into her mum’s shoulders. Slowly, making sure to wipe her eyes discreetly against her mother’s shoulder, Y/N stepped away from her parents, trying to smile at them both. She knew they could tell she was about to cry, but was grateful that neither one of them pointed it out.

“Goodbye, my baby,” Lottie said, stroking Y/N’s cheek. “Please call us tonight or tomorrow, we want to see your room when it’s all finished.”

Y/N nodded. She always kept her mouth shut when she was about to cry, it was as if speaking made all emotion float out of her through her open mouth, and she started crying uncontrollably.

“We’ll see you soon,” Davi smiled. “Remember to have fun, yes? This is going to be so much better than you think.”

She smiled, watching her father sit down in the passenger side and her mother climb into the driver’s side.

“Remember your time slot, Y/N. Remember to get to the uni on time to register-“

“-Lotts,” Davi warned.

“Right, alright,” Lottie sighed, getting the car going. She turned back to Y/N one last time blowing her a kiss. “Love you.”

“Te amo!” Davi shouted, waving and grinning at his daughter.

Y/N was left standing there looking after the car as her parents drove off. She was unable to move for a moment, the only thing she managed to do was stare after the car until it was out of sight. When it was, Y/N felt an instant sort of empty feeling in her stomach. She was on her own. Her parents were on their way back to Nottingham, and she was here. In London. Alone. Momentarily, Y/N’s excitement about uni and everything she would experience these next three years, was all insignificant. The lack of her parents’ presence was like stripping reality of warm colour, replacing them with the dreary and cold.

She felt her eyes begin to sting and let one tear roll down her cheek. Then, wiping the next few off her face, she started making her way up to her new flat. She closed the ground door behind her, and then the front door of the flat when she reached it. Nathan was out on the balcony with a cigarette in one hand and his phone in the other. He did not notice Y/N as she walked up to her room again and she was very happy he did not.

Walking straight for the bathroom, the door right in front of the stairs once you reached the first storey of the split flat, Y/N closed and locked the door afterwards. She turned water on, scooped some coldness into her hands and splashed it over her face. Without hesitating, she did it again, turning the tap off before looking at herself in the mirror above the sink. She wiped the water off her face with the sleeves of her jumper, cursing herself for not having brought a towel in with her.

“You’re a bad bitch,” she hissed at her reflection. “Why’re you crying?”

A small gasp left Y/N’s lips and she turned the tap on again, splashing her face with more cold water. She had no idea if it was helping any, but she had a strange sense that by doing it, she would feel better afterwards. However, looking at herself in the mirror again, she did not feel the least bit better.

“What’s wrong with you?” she asked herself in a whisper. “Can you stop crying? There’s literally no need to cry.”

But there was, her brain retorted, and that alone brought more tears to her eyes. Y/N knew that had she been driven down here by her parents to be on holiday for a week or two, she would not have cried. Maybe she would have cried the day before going home because she would rather be in London than Nottingham because she loved it so much, but she would not have cried when her parents drove off. In fact, she was sure she would have loved to see them go and known she was free to do whatever she wanted, when she wanted.

But this was different. She lived in London now. Her mother couldn’t just come whenever Y/N needed her, and her papai couldn’t stop whatever he was doing to help her with whatever she was struggling with. It was a new life. A new beginning. And she had to do it all alone. She was used to being alone by choice, she didn’t like this feeling of alone.

“Y/N?!” Nathan called as he walked up the stairs. “Y/N, you in your room?!”

Taking a deep breath and wiping a little excess water off her cheek, she unlocked the bathroom door and stepped outside just as Nathan stood in the doorway of her room. Nathan took one look at her and said, in a quiet and low tone, “They left?”

Y/N inhaled slowly. “Yeah.”

Nathan walked over to her, bringing her in for a hug. Y/N hugged him back tightly, appreciating the reassurance. She knew she wasn’t alone, she had Nathan after all, but it was still strange to be here without her parents.

All her time throughout school, Y/N had looked forward to moving away to University. Her and Nathan had planned out their lives once they got to uni, in detail, and could spend hours on end just making plans for Freshers Week and the parties they would attend. Having been friends since year three of school, the two of them had made a lot of plans throughout the years. Most of the plans, they had never gone through with, but it was still fun to imagine. Neither could remember what exactly had gotten them to talk to one another that first time, but they had always suspected it was their mutual friend, Ella, who had gotten them talking. Since then, Nathan and Y/N had been inseparable.

They always did the stupidest things together, annoying all their friends and family. They got their license on the same day, would often sleep out in one of their gardens just because they could, always made the other a Build-a-Bear for their birthday, knew each other’s favourite scents, tastes, turn ons and turn offs, and everything in between. It was a friendship that was seen as maybe a little too close, but once you found your soulmate, there were no boundaries anymore. At least that was how Y/N and Nathan saw it. Besides, there was a sense of bond between them that only people identifying as queer could understand. Though neither of them had known at the age of seven when they met that they would grow up to identify as gay and bisexual, they knew now that their bodies, on some level, had known, and therefore drawn them to one another.

When you’re around other people from the LGBT community, there is not only a sense of understanding between you, but also undeniable, immeasurable comfort and support. No matter what. It’s a home, someplace to be completely you, without feeling like you need to tone it down or be ashamed, something the outer world sometimes could make you think you needed to. Y/N was therefore incredibly happy that her, as a bisexual, had found Nathan, who was himself with his whole heart, and who encouraged her to be the same.

“You ready to go to uni?” Nathan asked.

“Yeah, I’ll just change into a tee shirt.”

Nathan let go of her and followed her into her room.

Having always been plus size, Y/N broke a sweat rather easily. She therefore knew that she might freeze a bit in the beginning, but if her and Nathan were supposed to walk up and down stairs at tube stations and walk indoors at Helmond, she would need to wear a tee shirt to cool herself down some.

She took her jumper off, lobbing it on the still empty bed before she opened her bag filled with tops. She dragged a tee shirt out at random, taking a look at the black tee shirt with a white half moon embroidered onto the chest. Dragging it over her head, she walked to the full-body mirror that her mother had insisted on her bringing. She said there were rarely mirrors in student houses, and she was right. Looking at herself, Y/N ran a hand over her black denim shorts, studying how her faux leather sock boots went with the rest of her outfit. The chunky soles were amazing for walking, and she knew her feet would be aching by the time they got back home.

“Hmm,” Y/N said. “Might change into jeans, actually.”

“Why?” Nathan asked, furrowing his brows. “You look good in that.”

“I know, but the chafing.”

Nathan, who had heard this before, only nodded. With his noodle legs, he had never experienced chafing, and therefore did not say anything. Y/N knew this and appreciated him not trying to relate to her problems as a plus size woman. He could understand many of her problems, but never that.

Bringing her trouser bag forth, she got a pair of black jeans out, putting them on, making sure the sock boots were on the outside of the tight-fitted denim, and then the two of them were on their way. Y/N brought a tote bag, putting her phone, purse, and flat keys in it.

They arrived at Haggerston tube station on Lee Street, and once they were there, Nathan helped Y/N set up her Oyster card. The card would be an easier payment method for public transport around London, and though she could easily just tap her bank card, an Oyster card was, according to Nathan, a better way of doing it.

“You can use it for right about anything,” Nathan explained as they stood by the Overground platform, waiting for the Crystal Palace / New Cross / West Croydon train to arrive. “We’re talking Underground, Overground, Tramlink, all buses, River Services, you name it.”

“You always take the tube to uni.”

“I beg to differ.”

“Nate, you literally send a snapchat every single day before you go to uni of you sitting on the Overground.”

Nathan tutted, shaking his head. “I also walk.”

“When?”

“Blimey, I can walk. I do have legs, have you seen them?”

“Pretty hard to miss when they take up 80% of your body.”

Nathan gasped, nudging Y/N before the two of them laughed. The train arrived, and they got onboard, sitting down on one of them orange seats along the walls. They got off at Whitechapel, weaving past people to get to the Underground this time. They took an escalator down to the District and Hammersmith & City lines, Y/N following Nathan as he made a right turn for the Eastbound route.

“I know that exact walk, from the Overground to the District Line, like the back of my hand,” Nathan said, grinning proudly as they stepped aboard the train, holding onto the pole in between two doors. The doors closed, and Y/N had to hold on tight as not to faceplant onto the tube floor. That would not have been an ideal way of starting her conversion into a proper Londoner.

“Thought you said you walked to uni as well.”

“Well, I still do!”

“Alright.” Y/N nodded. “When’re we getting off?”

“Stepney Green.”

“This is Stepney Green. Change here for Hammersmith & City-“

Y/N raised her eyebrows at Nathan. “Really? Not even one stop?”

“Leave off, you hag.”

“Please, mind the gap between the train and the platform edge.”

The two walked up to the surface again and started on their ten-minute walk to Helmond from there. Y/N thought it would take them longer to get there considering she was a slow walker, something Nathan always had to consider when walking around with her, but it did not. The lack of her parents’ presence still hung in the air around her, it was still thick as fog, and she knew the longing for their closeness would not clear away within the next few days, but the moment she set her eyes on her University, she forgot about everything for just a little bit.

Helmond, University of London rose up before them in beautiful red and white bricks, shining in the late September sun like a lone castle in the middle of a vast and dark forest. It felt like Y/N had been without food and water for days, and the sign of the castle, the sign of life, brought a new sense of meaning to her. The massive University took up an entire 175-acre rectangle in London, enrolling a total of 20 thousand students, and being the second biggest London University for that reason alone, only barely beaten by Battersea, University of London, who hosted 35 thousand. Regardless, Helmond was the oldest uni in London, the first one to be established in the capital in 1817. Y/N felt very small looking at it, even though it wasn’t a particularly tall building, but she knew how big it was from the Open Day she had spent walking around campus grounds with her parents.

Nathan led Y/N over to the stairs and the two walked on in. It was like stepping right into a Renaissance painting. The ceilings were tall and vaulted, grand pillars against the walls up and down the halls. This hall was white, but Y/N knew that in other places in Helmond, the ceilings were painted, making it look like a sort of Versailles rip-off.

Immediately as you walked in, you stepped into the entry hall that was filled with first years trying to find their way around the uni. Right ahead was the reception area and a statue of Victor Helmond, the founder of the school and the first headmaster. To Y/N, he looked right about just like those old statues from the 1800s did, he was no different with his medium height, messy hair, and beard. Through the tall French windows behind the reception and statue, Y/N glimpsed one of the two massive courtyards in the middle of the University. 

The uni was built around two quads, separating them was another quad just behind a red and white brick bridge, making it easier for students to get to lectures on time instead of walking their way through the long hallways, past lecture halls, cafeteria, and shops. Y/N could envision herself walking that bridge quite a few times over the next few years. There was another statue in the middle of the courtyard Y/N could see now, red and white tiled paths leading up to the fountain it stood on from each of the four walls facing it. The other courtyard was a replica of this one, only the statue was different. The one Y/N could see was Victor Helmond’s wife, Maud, and she knew that in the other courtyard, there was a statue of Queen Victoria. She had been told all of this on her Open Day months ago.

People were sitting in the grass of the quads, either with books in their hands or surrounded by friends. No one looked to have a care in the world, not even another oncoming year at uni. Y/N wished she could be as relaxed as them, and told herself that at one point, when she felt more at home here, she would.

“Coming?” Nathan asked after a little while, walking backwards while keeping his eyes on Y/N.

“Yeah.”

She followed him and the two walked further down the hall where there was a queue. Nathan stopped there and smiled at Y/N, nodding in the direction of the open door.

“Won’t be too long, there are tons of student representatives standing there, so it’ll take us ten minutes,” Nathan explained.

And he was right, it did not take them long to get to the front of the queue. They were stood in what Y/N could only assume to be a room specifically used for meetings. The table was fixed to look like a horse shoe, right about ten student representatives standing there, helping to register those that were there to start their first year.

“Next!” a woman called, and with one last look at Nathan, Y/N walked in her direction, giving her, what she hoped to be, a friendly smile as she approached.

“What’s your surname?” the student representative asked.

“Montes.”

She looked behind her, taking some time to find a M. She walked up and down the row of tables behind her, but once she finally came back to Y/N, she placed a manila folder on the table in front of her.

“Y/N Montes, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Studying English Literature?”

“Yup.”

“Brilliant,” the woman said, bending down to retrieve something more Y/N had to bring with her. “Just sign your name, date of birth, and the student halls you’re living in on the paper in front of you, please.”

“I don’t live in halls.”

“Ah, well, then you just write your address down. The uni just wants to know where you live, really. Especially if you’ve moved here to attend uni.”

Y/N nodded, taking the pen laid before her and writing under Jack Williams that had been before her.

“English Lit?”

After only having signed her name, Y/N looked up at the girl to her left who had just talked. She was looking straight at Y/N with a small smile on her face.

“I’m doing English Lit, too,” the girl said, her smile growing.

Y/N smiled back. “Really?”

“Yeah,” she blonde said, grinning now. “I’m Chloe.”

“Y/N.”

Chloe made a small bow. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“And yours.” Y/N cursed herself for not being funnier. This girl would not want to be her friend if she wasn’t funny.

“Not to be like this,” the bloke helping Chloe out said. “But could you do this outside? We need to register more people.”

“Of course,” Chloe said, sounding a little too charming for her own good. She glanced back at Y/N, hugging her manila folder to her chest. “See you around, Y/N.”

“And you.”

Y/N’s entire chest burst with a sort of contentment only strange encounters could bring forth. It was a sort of reminder that Y/N was appreciated and seen by someone she barely knew; someone she appreciated and saw in return. Knowing that, even though they might not stay friends for their entire time at uni, they would at least lean on each other as lectures began. She could find Chloe and sit down next to her, and it would not be weird.

“Wicked,” Nathan said as Y/N came walking in his direction with the Helmond folder in her hands. “Now, let’s go for dinner. I’m famished.”

And so they did. They stopped by a pub on the way home, staying there for two hours just talking, eating and drinking. It was nice to finally be with Nathan again. He had been in London for well over a month, and as much as Y/N wanted to come down there, she needed all those hours of work to earn money for uni. New Look did not pay well, but at least she had a bit of money to use right off the bat. She’d need a new job, though. And fast.

This time around they walked back to the flat, taking the hour it took to just take in the stroll that Y/N knew she would take more than she would take the tube. There was just a lot to look at, and no hills, meaning that the stroll would not kill her. Another bonus was the time she would get to spend just listening to music, something she adored. Once again, she completely forgot about her parents and them leaving, until they reached the flat an hour later. Remembering brought a white-hot ball of aching to Y/N’s stomach, making it hard for her to swallow properly. She assumed it would be like this for a few days, if not weeks. She’d have to find her place and her people before the feeling of longing for her parents and life back home in Nottingham, would dissipate.

It was very dark in the flat when they finally got home around 8. Nathan stumbled a bit when they walked through the door, making Y/N laugh her ass off. Nathan only flipped her off before urging her to walk on in. She did, taking her shoes off and leaving them by the door. The light in the kitchen was on, and because Y/N assumed they must have left it on before they left, she did not bother to take a proper sweeping look over the room before reaching for the light switch. She stopped.

Nathan was busy closing and locking the front door, humming to that Tinie Tempah song that was always played in any sort of club setting. He must have been clubbing the night before, she reckoned. The rest of the flat was quiet. It was left in darkness. It was therefore weird to Y/N that she saw a hallucination in the middle of the lit-up kitchen. Would it not have been wiser of her brain, a bit scarier also perhaps, to put that hallucination in the corner of her dark room? Why was she seeing it right there, in the kitchen, in vivid detail? She wouldn’t remember ever having hallucinated… him. Her sister sometimes showed up, but Y/N never saw her in detail, only as she remembered her from that last time she saw her. But this… this was different. Y/N fucking hated it.

“Y/N,” he said, voice darker than she remembered it.

Blinking a few times to get the sight of him out of her head, she turned the lights off and turned to Nathan who struggled taking his shoes off, now humming to another song.

“Nate, literally shut up. Chainsmokers is rank.”

“Oi! Closer is a fucking belter!”

“Y/N, could you turn the lights back on, please?”

There it was again. His voice. She closed her eyes and shook her head forcefully, as she did to get rid of Marcela’s image. With a hand on the strap of her tote bag, Y/N started on her journey towards the stairs.

“Oi, Y/N, why’re you leaving the man in the dark?” Nathan asked, frowning over at Y/N as she stopped moving. What… What did Nathan just say? Had he seen Y/N’s hallucination as well? Were they both hallucinating? What had been in the two pints they’d just had? Nathan wasn’t drunk, was he?

She could tell by the yellow light that flooded into the hallway from the kitchen that Nathan had turned the lights back on. Slowly, she looked over her shoulder at Nathan, meeting his gaze right away. Nathan glanced into the kitchen, giving the hallucination a smile before asking, a little too casually, “You’re home early.”

“Work was slow. Let me off early so I could get a few extra hours sleep in before uni starts.”

Y/N shook her head again, walking over and putting a hand on Nathan’s shoulder to check if he was real and not just another hallucination. Nathan looked to Y/N right away, a deep furrow to his brows as Y/N felt his neck and cheek.

“Have you cracked your skull? What’re you doing?” Nathan asked.

“You can see him?” Y/N blinked at Nathan, nodding in the direction of the kitchen.

“Of course, I can see Harry. I’m not blind and I did develop the ability to sense another human beings’ presence when they’re in the same room as me. He’s standing right there, isn’t he?”

“No, he… he’s not…”

Y/N looked at the hallucination again then. Harry Styles. She had not thought about him in months, had not seen him in years. They had not been in each other’s proximity since he lived in Nottingham with his father three years ago. Had not spoken properly since that day in late August 2014 when they spent the night together. And there he was, standing in the kitchen of her new uni flat. She could not believe it. There were so many questions running through Y/N’s head in that second that she did not know which one to ask Nathan, who, it seemed, had no problem with Harry Styles being in their kitchen.

“Yes, he is,” Harry answered slowly, looking at Y/N with his eyebrows raised. They rose even higher up his forehead once he caught Nathan’s eye. “You didn’t tell her.”

“What?” Y/N looked at Nathan. “Didn’t tell me what?”

Nathan raised his shoulders in a shrug that Y/N knew was only done to buy her best friend some time. He pursed his lips, refusing to meet either of their eyes. “Might’ve slipped my mind.”

Harry cocked his head, putting the glass of milk he was holding back onto the counter. “Slipped… your mind?”

“I forgot.”

“You forgot?!”

“Y/N’s blind, you’re deaf. What’s next?”

“Nate, please, for the love of fuck, tell me you told her.”

“Nate?” That made Y/N retreat, two lines etched between her brows as she looked to Harry again, then back at Nathan. “You only let your mates call you that.”

Harry let out a short, high-pitched laugh. “Brilliant. You didn’t even tell her about me in general. What’s that about? You ashamed of me?”

“Oh, don’t take the piss, you wank-stain.” Nathan rolled his eyes. “I knew it would not go down very well.”

Harry crossed his arms. “And this way it would?”

“I was gonna sit her down and tell her, but I never got around to it. Alcohol called, she wanted us to have two pints at a pub.”

“Don’t blame this on a pint, you could’ve told her ages ago.”

“Can someone please,” Y/N called, making Nathan stop whatever he was about to say. “Tell me what the bloody hell is going on?”

Nathan and Harry looked at one another, exchanging a sort of glance Y/N could almost decipher, but in her confused state was too dizzy to try and comprehend. They stood like that for a few seconds, making grimaces at one another, having a telepathic argument that Y/N wanted in on.

“Hello?!” she called, making both boys jump and look at her again.

“Nathan,” Harry said, picking his glass of milk up again and taking a sip.

“Right,” Nathan sighed, turning his body in Y/N’s direction. “Y/N, Harry’s gonna be living with you for the rest of the year.”

Harry huffed. “Want me to move out next year, do you? Don’t wanna live with me our third year?”

“Oh, you know I do, but one year at a time, yeah? Don’t need to traumatise her more than necessary.”

Y/N did not know what to do. Out of all possible scenarios, out of all horrible happenings at University, she had not seen this one coming. Never in her wildest dreams had she thought this would ever happen. She quite frankly thought she had left Harry Styles behind her in her past, never to be in contact with or meet him again. But he was one of her new flatmates. She would be living with him for at least a year, two if she did not decide to move out. They had been each other’s first time, and then never spoke to each other again, despite everything else. That was three years ago, and now what? Were they supposed to talk it through? Were they supposed to ignore it? Ignore each other?

Y/N’s head was spinning, and it seemed the rest of the flat was spinning with her. Taking one last look at Harry and Nathan, she started walking in the direction of the stairs. Whatever the two were arguing about, they stopped the second they saw her strolling away.

“Oi, what’re you doing?” asked Nathan.

“I’m fucking going to my room to get away from you,” Y/N asked, voice razor sharp. “Unless you forgot to tell me there’s a corpse hidden inside my wardrobe?”

“It’s just 8. The night’s still young.”

“I don’t care.”

“Mate-“

“-Is there a corpse in my room? Or lice in my mattress? Or any other rather big news you’d like to tell me?”

Nathan must have known this would happen, but he still looked nervous as he shook his head, indicating that there was nothing else he was supposed to have told her but hadn’t.

“Good,” Y/N said. “I’ll deal with whatever kind of situation this is, tomorrow.” She paused. “Or maybe the day after that.” Another pause. “Fuck this. Fuck you.” She pointed at Nathan.

“I’m just trying to make us all be friends here,” he said. “Besides, don’t fuck me, I’m gay. And…” Nathan nodded in the direction of the kitchen where Harry stood. “You’ve already fucked him-“

“-I’ll literally murder you, Nathan,” Y/N hissed, and she swore she could hear a grunt of disapproval from Harry’s end as well, not having appreciated Nathan’s comment.

Without another look at them, she walked up the stairs and to her room, locking herself in there. It was then that she realised she hadn’t gotten her bed ready for the night. However, in her infuriated state, Y/N did not care. She got her pillow out from one of her bags along with her duvet, opening the windows to let some fresh air in and pulled the curtains close. She wasn’t really about to go to bed, but she knew that she would cry in not too long because she missed home, and her anger at Nathan and Harry did not help. If she got angry enough, she’d cry. Hard.

She could not believe this. It did not feel real. Ever since that night in August, she had not talked to Harry, and she did not think she ever would again. However, here she was, living in the same flat as him. It wasn’t as if their time together had been more awkward than they had anticipated, but the reason why she could not stand him was because, even though had kept every single other promise he’d ever made, he had not even done as much as look at her after they had sex. He had not called like he promised he would. Had not kept in contact with her after moving away. Had not been what he had promised he would be: different. A mate.

They had promised each other at the time that this would not be awkward, they would just get it over with, be awkward with one another, and then forget it ever happened. They would go back to being mates. But then Harry had shut her out, and they had not talked since. At times, when Y/N thought about this not too long after it had happened, she was scared that the entire reason why Harry had even been friendly in the first place was so they’d fuck and forget about one another. Sometimes it was easier to tell herself that than to remember all the lovely times. Y/N chose to repress those. He was not worth it.

She heard Nathan’s voice and then Harry’s along with footsteps. They were walking up the stairs, talking in hushed voices as if scared to wake anyone up. Y/N supposed it was the last flatmate that she had yet to meet, and considering how Nathan had not told her she would be living with Harry for the next year, she was scared to think who the last flatmate would be.

There was a knock at her door.

Y/N rubbed a hand over her face. “Drink piss.”

“Y/N, I just wanna talk.”

“No, Nathan.”

He jiggled the door handle. “Please.”

“Nathan, I need to be alone or else I’m sure I’m gonna fucking choke you till your eyes pop,” Y/N said. “Harry Styles, Nathan!”

“Yes, Y/N, I know!” Nathan said, sounding genuinely conflicted as well. “I know I should have told you he goes to Helmond! And that we’re mates here! I know!”

“Why didn’t you?”

“’Cause I knew you wouldn’t live with me if I told you,” Nathan admitted. “I had been looking forward to you coming here for so long, and Harry, Mason, and I kind of agreed to move in together. I told Harry, but he never had a problem with it, but I knew you would, because… well… everything that happened in Notts.”

Y/N rolled her eyes.

“But believe me that I didn’t do this as a way for you and Harry to, like, start talking again-“

“-‘Cause if you did-“

“-Oh, I know I would’ve been dead by now if that was the case, I know.” Nathan sighed. “Y/N, he’s not as much of a knob-“

“-He is a knobhead. Now, then, forever. Now, leave me alone.”

Nathan knew there was no way for him to make this any better. Once Y/N had made her mind up, it was hard to change her perspective on things. Getting her used to Harry, to living with him, to accepting this fate of hers, would take a very long fucking time.

Nathan said a small, “Later” from down the hall, and Harry replied with a “Have a good one” that seemed a bit closer somehow. Before she knew it, the door just beside hers opened, a small creak to it as Harry stepped in. It closed just after Nathan’s did, and Y/N heard the sound of footsteps from the room just beside hers. Not only was Harry Styles, the person who took her virginity, and Y/N Montes, the person who took Harry Styles’ virginity, living in the same flat. No, their rooms were also right next to one another. Brilliant. Fucking brilliant. Not only had she cried an abnormal amount today, sprained her ankle some on her walk home, and been uncharacteristically awkward when meeting new people, but she had also moved into the same house as her ex-friend.

Y/N turned her face, burying it into her pillow, and screamed.

Monday, 18 September 2017

There were people everywhere. Y/N was used to there being heaps of people everywhere she looked and did not mind crowds. She liked the company of people around her, the sounds of civilisation. In fact, it relaxed her much more than a calm countryside ever could. When walking through Canada Water, she did not mind people bumping into her or them walking right past her. It just showed signs of people and she loved that. She hated being alone, hated the sound of her own breathing and nothing to accompany her.

That was one of the reasons why she had looked forward to moving to London in the first place. She wanted the comfort of never being alone, of always having someone around, which she knew she would appreciate about London. Of course, she knew there were places in London she could go to be on her own, but she liked the idea of never, truly, being alone. The prospect of being alone, terrified her. She was never lonely, she had a lot of friends, she was close with her parents, but being alone, with no one else around, was something else entirely.

She did not feel lonely, even though she did not know any of the people around her at this precise moment in the tube station, she was surrounded by people and there was a comfort in that. Years & Years blasted from her earbuds and it was hard not to sing along when Desire went as hard as it did. So, instead of singing with her whole chest in the middle of the tube station, Y/N settled for miming the words with her mouth. She loved Years & Years more than she could articulate, so it was hard for her not to go crazy while listening to them. She could not wait for their second album to drop sometime next year.

Y/N walked towards the Eastbound platform as she reached the Jubilee line level. Nathan would be waiting for her at Ikea in Greenwich, as he had gone for a few other errands in the area, which ones Y/N did not know, but she had no problem meeting him there. However, she would have much more preferred it if he could have gone there with her, as she much more preferred to hang out with her friends than getting to places by herself. She just needed to take the Jubilee line to North Greenwich, and then take the 161 bus to Millennium Leisure Park East, and there Nathan would be waiting for her. That was all she had to do on her own, then she would have company.

She had not yet forgiven him for not telling her about Harry, but she didn’t have anyone else to take to Ikea, so she’d just have to ignore it until she had the energy to talk it through. Until then, she’d be passive aggressive and make Nathan feel bad for keeping it from her. Not the best way to go about it, she knew, but it would do for now.

The train arrived and Y/N waited patiently before she boarded it, letting the passengers that were already aboard get off before she started making her way on. Too anxious to sit down, Y/N took to standing by the pole just by the door she just entered, holding onto it with two other business men, neither who paid anyone on that train any attention as all of it were on the phone in front of them. Y/N reached for her phone then, typing out a message to Nathan that she was on her way. Or… at least she hoped she was.

“This is a Jubilee line train to Stratford; the next station is Canary Warf.”

Y/N let out a small sigh of relief, mentally patting herself on the back for managing to make it this far on her journey to Ikea Greenwich without getting completely lost. She felt her phone vibrate in her hand, and she immediately raised it to look at her new notification.

Nathan

Glad you’re finding your way around London, can be quite challenging

Nathan

Especially when you have a pea brain

Nathan

Like you do

Y/N snorted, started typing a text out right away as she held onto the blue pole for dear life.

Y/N

Scientists have been working for years to find a brain inside your gigantic head, seems it’s too small to be found, even under a magnifying glass

Because of poor reception, the text did not send, and the thought of being so low underground that she had trouble reaching her loved ones, suddenly scared her a bit. Y/N closed her phone and looked up at the tube map as the speaker overhead announced their arrival at Canary Wharf, people milling on and off the train.

Y/N saw something just before the door closed. She stopped breathing. It was only for a split-second, but she could swear she had seen something. She recognised the denim jacket, the hair, the smile. No matter the scenario, where she was, what was happening, Y/N would remember and make out her sister. She would recognise her anywhere. This was no different.

However, it had only been for a single second, not even that. The doors had closed before Y/N got to take a proper look. Right away, she closed her eyes tightly, willing her violently beating heart and pulse to slow down. It had just been a hallucination; it had not been real. I had just been a hallucination; it had not been real, and she continued to tell herself that until the train started driving away from the platform. Once she finally opened her eyes and looked out of the train windows, the darkness of the underground tunnels had surrounded them. Marcela was nowhere in sight.

Y/N leaned her forehead against the blue pole, feeling a slight layer of sweat over her cupid’s bow and forehead. The Marcela hallucination had affected her more than she thought it would have. Taking a deep breath, Y/N kept her eyes shut and her mind closed until she reached North Greenwich. Then, forcing the image of her sister away, Y/N walked off the train the second it stopped and almost ran for the exit and fresh air. Marcela was not alive; she had been dead for three years. She had been murdered three years ago. Neither hallucinations nor will would bring her back, it was time Y/N made her brain believe that as well.

NEXT UPDATE: Sunday, 28th February, 9PM GMT!

Huge thanks to my AMAZING beta readers! 🏛️ @aileenacoustic 🏛️ @devil-in-bw-the-sheets 🏛️ @sunflowerstache​ 🏛️ @fromyourstrulyh​ 🏛️

FIC PAGE | COME TALK !!!