#hopefully another update some time next week bc god i am going to be out of it for the next couple of days lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

savrenim · 3 years

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hi hi hi. so I just got into the Hamilton fandom, I swear I am four years late where did everybody go, and, well. I am apparently a hamburr shipper. bcs that is my life now. anyway I saw your fic ifmlam and I swear it is my favourite of all the fics I've ever read (and trust me I've read literally thousands). I love it so so much, how do you write fics like that??? I cried about four times during the whole thing, I stayed up till 4am reading it even when I had to wake up at 7 because it is just. that. good. I could not stop thinking about it for days afterwards and ifmlam has just ruined me. I can't think of listen to Hamilton without thinking of ifmlam anymore.

on to my qursttion: is it abandoned? of course it's perfectly FINE if it is. don't let anyone tell u differently, your fic is YOURS and u are amazing.

but pls I really need closure from ur fic, it has been haunting me if its abandoned or ongoing and I've read ur other fics and they are just chefskiss and thank you so much for writing them all. thank you thank you thank you, I will never be able to thank you enough for writing this fic and for everything it's done for me. I am probably thousands of miles away but I am sending you virtual jugs through a co.puter screen right now.

(don't feel pressured to reply to this or update it flam, I know how overwhelming it can get with so many messages and after a while u get desensitized to it. u can literally reply "thx. itfmlam is abandoned" and I would still be amazingly star struck. anyway has gotten way too long and I need to sleep and I'm sorry u probably won't see this so I'm just talking to myself right now but bye!!)

and thank you so so much for writing itfmlam.

aaaah hello anon!

thank you so so much???? I am so??? honored??? that ifmlam rates so highly to you, and also that you've read my other fics??????

the answer to the "is ifmlam abandoned" question is probably the worst possible one, which is pretty much "I do want to finish it, both for the folks that still want closure as well as it bothers to me have abandoned projects that are in the public eye/ already partially published, but also, it is last on my current writing projects list"

my current actually active writing projects list, kind of in order of priority, is

I'm literally three chapters away from being Actually Fully Done with the not-quite-first-not-quite-second let's call it 1.5th draft of an actual?? full?? original?? novel?? Opus which of course then goes out to beta readers and then gets who-knows-how-much edited and then maybe beta readers again if a lot does change and then a copyeditor my mom, my copyeditor is my mom, and maybe my little brother he's one of the betas but is very good at catching typos and then I!!! get to publish it!!!! which is the single thing I am most excited for!!!!!!!!! this should be closed up in the next week or two, and then take a while for people to actually read the draft and get back to me.

I really desperately want to finish my open-but-like-90%-written fic, which means we raise it up, the final chapter of to the bottom of the river bc I realized that it was kind of incomplete, and the second chapter of a buried and a burning flame because any more work there will need to wait until the author publishes the next book in the series. this should be closed up in the next month or two.

Speedwrite the draft of the second book of the Opus series so that hopefully by the time book 1 edits are happening, I have an almost complete draft of the second book. this is mostly me side-eyeing myself about taking nearly four years to write the first book, but that is solidly in part because I had so many other open projects which point 2 is about clearing that docket. this should be done in the next year.

And then just have my major projects be, at least until books 1-5 are written and published, books 1-5 of that because that is arguably the first major 'plot arc' of the series, so if I'm looking for a pause point on writing, that's probably where to stop.

There are two or three other short side projects (a weird fun second person short story tentatively titled witch-queen, a collection of four short stories Memoirs about a not-so-evil necromancer and the shenanigans he gets up to trying to rule a kingdom, working title Perfectly Normal Recipe Blog which is a collaborative project about a perfectly normal recipe blog that definitely doesn't include anything out of the normal) that will happen when they happen

There are other projects that are on the backburner -- The Numanok Files, a series of probably 12-15 short novellas about a mercenary/ bounty hunter esque person in space whose specialty is dealing with hauntings, but, like, 80% of their jobs is actually "you are effectively a space home inspector pointing out faulty wiring reacting to solar flares/ there's a weird alien fungus/ it's carbon monoxide okay change your atmosphere filters" and 20% of it is punching ghosts; there's a post-post apocalypse novel that I want to write that I know characters and general pacing and half the setting but need to work out the other half and figure out how much aesthetic I want to commit to; there's Strangeside7 aka spacerace book that is my reaction to how much I love how Redline the anime movie commits itself to "no we are about a race, like 60% of the screentime is just fully going to be an utterly ridiculous sci fi space race"; there's even a ridiculous YA trilogy that I would have to completely transplant the setting but might end up writing because the interplay between angel-physics and physics-physics was one of my favorite things in the world. and I guess the weird ridiculous technically a sequel series to ifmlam that was going to be published as original books that was basically me having fun with 'okay I fucking love star wars prequels old rotting space bureaucracy galactic republic style' except with seers and that also still might happen because it does have some of the coolest sci fi concepts and honestly I thiiiink that's all?

but the tl;dr of that timeline is I'm trying to finish a punch of projects Right Now, so that I can write books 2-5 of Opus, and then when I'm done that (which honestly, my average fiction-writing output is close to 100k a year. if I'm concentrating purely on one project, and writing books that are about 100k, we are talking four years. although my job situation is super up in the air in that period and writing might get put solidly on the backburner as I try to make it in academia, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯) I will re-evaluate which projects go next, and that's when ifmlam is likely to come up for review.

I do not have any expectations that I will make it as an original author. I'm planning on posting all of my stuff online for free, but, like. it is incredibly difficult to convince people to try out even a piece of free and easily accessibly original work even if one has a huge following, I am a very small fanfiction author, and from what I can tell the majority of the people who are interested in my work are mostly interested in me finishing ifmlam. writing is a hobby for me, and while I'm writing mostly for me--and hence the for me bit at least for the next five years is pretty solidly going to be this series that I am deeply excited about and have sunk my heart and soul into every single aspect of--I'm human, and I don't really like shouting into the void, and I expect if I spend five years publishing to absolutely no response I will either stop writing for a while and do other things gods know my life is busy enough, return to fandom in general to write some other fanfic about whatever I get deeply into, or return to a work that I actually get response to. so ifmlam will probably start getting worked on a bit at that point one way or another. unless, of course, we are in the incredibly rare timeline in which I do make it as an original author, there are people who are deeply hyped for my original works and an actual demand for them, in which case as you may have noticed there are enough ideas there to keep me busy for a decade or two, and they will just get my full attention instead of fanfiction*. in this timeline, I will do what I was considering doing a few years ago, which is officially declare ifmlam otherwise abandoned and make one more giant chapter update which is a full and cleaned up outline of what I was going to write, interspersed with the scenes already written, and have ifmlam be given at least that closure.

*I want to make it clear that I very much love fanfiction and am proud to have been a fanfiction author and in my heart of hearts would keep writing it forever, I just also have a lot of ideas for characters and settings and magic systems and Aesthetics and I have been biting at the bit to write something that is //mine// and all mine and only mine for a while, I don't see original work as superior so much as there are a dozen fandoms that I am currently in and bursting to make content about except oops these fandoms currently only exist in my head, and I want to correct that

of course given how much as writing is my vent activity and I write what I'm in the mood for, there's a chance I'll feel ifmlam cravings before then, just... expect it to take a couple of years for an update, but also for there to be an update one way of another in a couple of years? but as for right now, I'm turning to original writing, because that is what brings me joy.

but I am really deeply honored that it brought you so much joy!!! and while I will never publish spoilers in a public place, if you message me off anon I am perfectly happy to give a run-down of my current plans for the ending, bc I know "wait a couple years and see" is not the most satisfactory of answers! and hey maybe you'll be like me and once you've given Opus a try you'll decide you like it better too, it does have Seers although they are deeply different Seers than in ifmlam but imo it's very gay and fun and at least politics on one side

#my life #my writing #ifmlam

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jenniez-tv · 5 years

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HIPEC surgery (warning - photos of my abdomen after surgery will be shown)

The night before surgery I was on clear liquids only.. that was hard when all my family members kept talking about food and dessert.. the stomach growl was real. Haha. I spent the night playing mahjong with my family up until I had to pack and get ready to leave the house. An all nighter. Weeee. I really didn’t care to sleep since I don’t usually sleep til the morning anyways and I would be sleeping a lot in the hospital so it was whatever.

My aunt, mom, and I leave to go to the hospital around 4am (super early). We arrive, I’m sent to preop to get ready and I am super nervous.. I realized I forgot to take my anti anxiety Med before leaving the house.. UGH. I ask the nurse if she can ask the doc to give me one while I’m waiting and she said the Anesthesologist can give me something when they are ready to wheel me to the OR. Like wtf? How is that helpful? Why would I need anxiety meds right before I go to sleep for the freaking surgery?!? I need it for the 2hrs of waiting!!! She didn’t even bother to ask! Ughhhh.. like why? She is supposed to be an advocate for me.. Was not happy with her.. then she told me to relax.. HAHA. Glad I won’t see her again. Rude.

Me waiting at preop

Anywho.. next thing I know I’m awake in PACU. I’m groggy and in pain.. and of course felt myself up all over my abdomen to make sure I didn’t get a ileostomy bag. Thank god I did not! I did have a jp drain though. The Dr said he removed the organs he planned on-the uterus, ovaries, omentum, gallbladder along with 3 small things he found in my abdomen. I have no idea where and how big they were. They don’t think they are tumors but the pathology results have not come back yet.. feels like forever waiting for results.. either way, im glad it was found and removed. (Update- the results came back benign! Negative for cancer!)

I’m moved to the ICU and get hooked up to so much equipment. I stayed in the ICU for 2.5days. I had 2 iv’s, an arterial line, Foley catheter, NG tube, JP drain and a wound vac. My throat hurt so damn bad.. every time I swallowed it hurt.. that NG tube fked up my throat. I was also a not allowed eat or drink anything for 2 days until they took it out. I could not wait! Post op day 1 was a killer for me. Just trying to sit up made me cry. They wanted me to walk down the hall while pushing the wheelchair. I literally looked like a old person who has the hump back and couldnt stand straight while walking. The poor nurses were pretty much holding my weight lol. Even helping me scoot up on the bed hurt. My family said my entire body and face was super swollen . I just pictured the scene in Willy wonka and the chocolate factory where that girl turned into a huge blueberry. 🤭 I think the most annoying part of ICU was when they kept giving me blood pressure medication and IV fluids to increase my blood pressure. I normally have low BP like 80-90/50-60 told everyone. Apparently the Med surg unit (Unit I would be at until I get discharged) doesn’t like BP’S under 90. I mean seriously, I can’t be the only one with normal low BP’s.. With all the fluids during and after surgery.. I was 15lbs heavier. Ahh! I know it’s all water weight but damn that’s a lot of water weight. They also gave me potassium and it was so uncomfortable on my veins. Anyone can tell you it hurts..even when it’s diluted. It fked up my veins where on The last night in the ICU I had to get one of my IV’s replaced because anything that went through it (even saline) hurt . It was hurting even if nothing was running.

Anyways, I get cleared and transfer up to the medsurg unit. I was actually feeling pretty good considering just having surgery. I get my NG tube removed and am allowed teeny bits of water/ice. FINALLY. My throat can now get better! By the time I transferred I was making laps around the unit. I also get my wound vac removed. It was so painful because I developed a lot of blisters on the edges of the tape from the wound vac. It looked pretty gross. (Picture below). When they removed it, all the blisters broke and they even rubbed over it pulling the skin off. Then, one of my ivs stopped working so it had to be taken out. Luckily this unit only requires one IV not two like the ICU so I didn’t need it replaced.

Picture of the blisters

Picture of my incision with the wound vac and the jp drain.

Picture of my incision and blisters after wound vac removed

The next morning is where everything went downhill. I got super nauseous and eventually threw up 900cc of bile. My temp was around 101 degrees, and eventually got up to 103. I also had other signs/symptoms that showed that I got septic to something. I had to be transferred back to the ICU. Because they were not 100% sure where the infection came from (they had 2 guesses) I got 2 antibiotics that would treat both areas. My white blood cell count also dropped dramatically to 0.98 and my anc 0.74. This means that I was very susceptible to getting more infections. People had to wear a mask when they come to my room and I had to wear one when I left the room. The good news is my fever went away pretty quickly and I started feeling better. My wbc kept going up and down... I’m hoping it keeps trending up because I cannot leave the hospital until my wbc goes up and becomes stable. EEP.

While I was back in the ICU I had to get a second iv placed.. so now I have had 4 iv’s so far not including the arterial line). I’m connected to all the machines again and it takes forever for me to get to the bathroom since they have to disconnect all the monitors and attach it to a portable one so they made me use a bedside commode instead. Bedside commode?!?! The thought is just gross. I’m peeing and pooping in a room with just a curtain blocking the view. What if someone walked in to talk to me in the middle of my session? It was so nerve wrecking. I’ve cleaned up patients bedside commodes before and it’s fine but now can say that I really understand why patients apologized all the time.

After another 2 days in the icu and being septic.. And another iv needing to be replaced bc it infiltrated.. (apparently my veins are mad weak from all the meds and chemo) (now iv #5) I am finally better to go back to the Med surg unit. I’m transferred back and it feels so nice to use abnormal bathroom again. I’m still only allowed clear fluid and honestly.. even that was hard to do. I had to drink a minimum of 800cc a day and it was a struggle. So many days of not eating and drinking screwed me up. Plus I kept having this underlying nausea that just wouldn’t go away. It turned out I had a small ileus as well- A complication that can happen from abdominal surgery.

Everyday I got blood drawn twice a day.. and lovenox which is a blood thinner to prevent blood clots. Prior to lovenox, they were giving me heparin (which is 3 times a day..). My body was full of bruises all over.

Picture of some of the bruises on my arms. I had a bunch on my thighs too..

Anywho, I’m finally allowed to eat.. and man that was more of a struggle than drinking.. I would take one or two bites and be done.. it didn’t help that the hospital food was completely disgusting.. even simple foods you think they can’t mess up on.. was just gross. I was asked by family what I felt like eating so they can bring it.. but honestly I had no appetite at all. Completely different from when I was on steroids and eating nonstop.. lol. But I tried.. hard.. to eat and drink enough. They wanted to start me on tpn which is the total nutrition through a central line.. and I was not about to have it. I gave a hard hell no.

I could barely sleep.. it just felt like my stomach was being pulled or stretched apart when I moved.. was woken up non stop for meds/ vitals.. when I was able to doze off.. my days pretty much consisted of eating, taking a couple laps around the unit, napping, and repeat. I was still getting some iv fluids to help keep me hydrated.. and of course.. another iv infiltrates.. and another iv had to get started... I had a total of 6iv’s and an arterial line.. it was utterly ridiculous.. I had no more places for ivs! And I freaking hate ivs and getting poked.. but that’s all I got during this stay.. so many I lost count.. sigh..

On and off during my stay but especially the last couple of days, I had severe lower right abdomenal pain that was sharp and jabby. I prevented me from moving at all.. it was downright horrible and worse than my incision.. no one knew what it was from but I guessed maybe the drain that was inside.. I got a ct scan done and it didn’t show anything there but the drain so I got it removed.. the pain immediately disappeared!! It was such a relief!! No pain meds helped at all.. not even the slightest.. so having that relief felt so good. The drain coming out though.. felt like so much pressure and it felt like the spot that hurt was getting pulled on. I swear that drain was stuck there or something.. it was a good amount in my stomach.. I didn’t realize how much of the drain just sat in there.. kinda gross. And yes, I watched the whole thing... hahah.

Another complication I have is that my left upper thigh is numb.. and has been numb.. it never got and still hasn’t gotten any better.. I thought it was the duramorph I got during surgery but after a week it seemed unlikely.. the dr says that it’s most likely because the retractor they used to hold my abdomen opened was pressed on my thigh nerve since I’m smaller than the average patient and dmged it from it being compressed for 8hrs.. he says it will take weeks to months for my leg to return to normal.. hopefully.. but that there is a chance it won’t.. god I hope it comes back. It feels so weird and annoying to have the top of my thigh permanently numb ...

Finally my wbc is stable and continuing to trend upward (although still low) and I’m allowed to go home.. I could not wait to see my babies (my dogs), my family, and just sleep in my own bed!!

Sorry, I know this post was all over the place... i wrote parts of it at different times.. which is why some seems present and some past tense.. and I’m honestly not in the mood to go and fix it all. I will post again how my recovery is going at home soon.

Thank you all for your love and support. ❤️

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urdearestmom · 6 years

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you’ll be okay too

part 1

this is a follow-up to that sad prompt oneshot i wrote a few weeks ago bc everyone asked for one so here it is!! hope you guys enjoy it and if you haven’t read the first part the link is right above!

Beep. Beep. Beep.

The heart monitor is steady, the complete opposite of Nancy's own heartbeat as she sits at Mike's bedside. Hopper had gotten a hold of her as soon as he could and she had taken Joyce's car to the hospital, promising to update the others in the morning so they could get a few hours of sleep before making their way over as well. She'd sat with the Chief and an especially quiet and morose El for a while until a doctor came into the waiting room and announced, "Michael Wheeler?"

The younger girl had immediately jumped up, desperate to see her boyfriend, but the doctor had stopped her with a "Family only, miss." She'd slinked back into her seat and Nancy saw tears in her eyes.

"Hey, El, it'll be fine," she reassured her. "I'll check on him and come back in a bit to talk to you guys, okay?"

The other girl sniffed and nodded meekly. Nancy had looked back at the doctor, waiting expectantly to lead her to her brother, and followed him with her heart in her throat.

She'd stayed with Mike for about ten minutes, not really allowing herself time to think about the gravity of the situation, before going back out to the waiting room to relay his condition to El and Hopper, but the two of them weren't allowed in the room until regular visiting hours started at nine in the morning. It was only four. That led her to her current predicament: sitting in a room alone with her hopefully recovering brother and trying not to cry.

God. Nancy's been told that for now, Mike is stable, but it all depends on whether he makes it through the night or not. She knows the doctors did what they could, and the one who'd spoken to her told her that Hopper's makeshift tourniquet and speedy trip to the hospital had saved Mike's life. But it only drives home the fact that he could've died tonight. He almost did, if Hopper and El had found him a few minutes after they did it would've been too late. And Nancy also knows that she wasn't the best sister growing up, probably still isn't, but that doesn't mean she doesn't love her little brother. If he'd died she would've never been able to forgive herself for letting him get so involved in this mess.

(Logically, she's aware that nothing she could've done would've stopped him from leaving with El. His heart belongs to her and her only, and everyone knows he'll follow her to the ends of the earth if he has to. But Nancy has to have someone to blame and usually it's herself.)

She doesn't know what she'll say to their parents to explain this. Mike's missing an arm, for god's sake! They don't even know she's come back to town, but she guesses it'll be both a happy and nasty surprise when she calls them later. With that thought, she lays her head on the bed next to where her hand is joined with Mike's and closes her eyes. Nancy hasn't been to church in years and isn't even sure if she believes in the religion she was raised with, but she's going to pray all the prayers she remembers until she can't anymore.

She ends up falling asleep and is awoken a little before six by a jerking motion beside her head and the heart monitor next to the bed going crazy. She snaps her head up to see that Mike is awake, but he looks terrified. His breathing is erratic and so is his heartbeat, going by the monitor. Moments later, a pair of nurses rushes into the room. They both start flitting around him, checking all the machines and trying to restrain him.

Nancy watches in shock as her brother's eyes bulge and his throat works, words struggling to escape. She's never seen him like this. At this point, he's just making guttural noises and attempting to push the nurses away, but he can't do that really well since he hasn't realized he's missing half of one of his arms yet. He sees his sister sitting by the bedside and it's when he registers that it's her that a raspy, "Nancy," rips out of his throat.

She stands suddenly and he immediately relaxes, the nurses pushing him back into the mattress. "We need you to stay calm, Michael," one of them says. "Can you do that for us?"

Mike looks at her and confusion spreads across his face, as if he's just now noticing that he's in a hospital. "What am I doing here?"

"Michael-"

His head whips back to Nancy. "Where's El?"

Nancy's mouth opens to speak but words don't come out. He's just woken up in a hospital with half an arm gone and his concern is his girlfriend. Of course it is-

"Where's El?!" He asks again, voice louder. He's starting to push back against the nurses again, as if he's going to get out of the bed and go searching for El himself. "Where- Nancy, where is she?!"

Nancy doesn't know why she can't answer. Her voice suddenly isn't working. Maybe it's shock at seeing Mike the way he is right now, disoriented, hurt, and angrier than ever. Maybe her vocal cords just decided to stop functioning. But whatever it is, it isn't helping. Mike starts screaming, mostly unintelligible words, but Nancy makes out a few very violent "Let me go!"s before the other nurse sticks a needle in his good arm and Mike goes out again.

Her breath returns to her in a sharp gasp and she walks back toward his bed. She hadn't noticed that she'd stepped away. The first nurse turns to her. "Who's El?"

Nancy stares at her unconscious brother for a moment before looking up at the woman. "His girlfriend," she answers, voice stilted.

The nurse raises her eyebrows. "Is she in the waiting room?"

"Yes." Nancy swallows. "She and her dad are the ones who brought him here. El Hopper," she adds.

"Martha," the nurse says, addressing the other one, "Maybe we should go get her? If he wakes up again and she's not here... I don't want that happening twice, the strain won't be good on him."

Martha nods. "I'll be right back." She exits the room quickly, leaving Nancy with the other woman.

"I'll be by again in about fifteen minutes to give you a rundown, alright?" She says.

Nancy nods numbly and sits back down in her previous seat. Now that Mike's asleep again, she lets her shock take her over and feels a pricking in her eyes. He woke up, but he could have not. And what would she have done then? She pretends she doesn't like him most of the time because that's just how most sibling relationships are, but the truth is that Mike is one of the most important people in her life and a part of her would have died with him.

Moments later, El herself is escorted into the room by Martha and Nancy watches as the teen girl's eyes widen and fill with water, her hands flying up to cover her mouth. She's shaking like a leaf during a storm when she stops on the other side of Mike's bed. Nancy traces the sound through the air when El lets out a loud sob and reaches down to cradle Mike's face in her hands.

"He's okay," she cries. "Oh my god..." Her cheeks are soaked with fresh tears and she leans down to carefully set her head on Mike's chest as if to hear his heartbeat and confirm that he really is okay.

Nancy feels numb as she sits and watches the two. She knows the amount of love her brother has for the girl in front of her, and she can see that El returns all of it and then some. It would have been a grievous mistake for the universe to rip them away from each other.

El stays like that for a little while longer before standing and walking to Nancy’s side of the bed, where she wraps the older girl in a tight embrace. They clutch each other like the world will end if they let go, seeking an almost unattainable comfort in one another.

El leans away, her face blotchy and wet. “Are you okay?”

Nancy feels even more like she’s going to cry. She gives a hiccupy little laugh. “Why are both of you so concerned with everyone but yourselves?”

El gives her a confused look.

“Mike,” Nancy starts, “He woke up and the only thing he cared about was where you were. I think he was trying to leave to go find you but the nurses stopped him. He didn’t notice that- that his arm’s gone!”

El’s confusion turns to a muted joy for a moment before returning to her previous sadness. “I never should have let him come.”

Nancy reaches up to rub the other girl’s shoulder, trying to offer the consolation she cannot give herself. “It’s not your fault, you know he would’ve followed you as soon as you left. There was nothing you could’ve done.”

El sighs and sinks into the end of the bed, hunching over with her face in her hands. “I know you’re right, but I just… it could have been so much worse, Nancy. You didn’t see him when we found him, he was dying! There was blood- everywhere I looked,” she chokes out. “I’m going to have nightmares for the rest of my life.”

Nancy shakes her head and reaches out for El’s hands to grasp. She focuses on the younger’s eyes intently. They shine brightly with unshed tears but they hold her gaze, so Nancy finds the words she needs to speak. “We’re all going to have nightmares, it’s expected with the things we’ve been through,” she says, rubbing her thumbs across El’s knuckles like she used to spy Mike doing when his love was stressed. “But we’re also all here for you when you need us. Mike might not be in the best shape right now but he will be better, and everyone knows he’s never going to leave you. You’ll both be there for each other because he needs you just as much as you need him. Do you understand?”

El blinks at her and Nancy listens to their breaths suck in and puff out for a moment before El nods. “He’ll get better. We’ll be okay.”

“You will, El,” Nancy says, and somehow the firmness of her statement brings her a slight sense of calm. She’s certain now that it’ll be okay for her too. “It’ll take a while, but one day, you’re going to be so happy that you’ll forget any of this ever happened, even if it’s just for that day.”

“Like grief. It never goes away, you just learn to deal with it and kind of forget it, right?” El asks, now having let go of one of Nancy’s hands and wiped her nose on her sleeve.

Nancy grips her other hand tightly, looking away and feeling the lump rise in her throat again. “Exactly.”

El squeezes back. “You’ll be okay too, Nancy.”

Nancy offers a weak smile. She’ll be okay too.

#mike wheeler #nancy wheeler #el hopper #eleven #mileven #mileven fanfiction #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things

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kyunsies · 3 years

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Hi angel!! Ahhh having a bug in your room is so scary, especially when you don’t know exactly where it is 😖 Hopefully you’re able to find it and get rid of it… I wasn’t able to make it to the cat cafe on saturday because campus was so busy (it was the first home football game and it was against one of our biggest rivals, so people went a little insane) and I didn’t want to have to wade through large crowds to get there. BUT i already made a reservation to go next Saturday afternoon, so I will keep you updated. Also I went on my hike yesterday and it was fun but it was SUPER humid (typical florida 🙄) so I was drenched by the time I got back to my dorm. I got lots of pictures of cool animals and bugs (saw two different gators), and I’m planning on going on another one with the same group next sunday! I’ve been meaning to start working out because I’m actually a little underweight and I want to build some muscle, but I’m too shy to go to the gym and I wouldn’t even really know where to start anyway. Any recommendations for how to get more comfortable or some things I can do from home? Hope you have a great day today!!!

-💜💜💜

omg im so upset i wrote such a long reply to this and then i went to another app really quick and it got deleted and now i have to type this all over again god DAMNIT 😭😭😭😭

*sigh* hello angel 💖 sorry i’m only getting to this now :( i’ve been studying for an exam !! i’m glad your hike went well and i can’t believe u saw some gators 😭 i would’ve been running away as fast as i could lol, did you make anymore friends? i also didn’t know u went to uni far away like me too <3 GOD i sound so unenthusiastic im just so upset i wrote u this whole nice response and i have to start over :( and even tho I didn’t get a chance to go to the cafe this time, i’m glad u made reservations !!!

and about working out i am by no means an expert and these days i barely get off my ass lol but there’s no shame in the game angel !! i am scared to go to the gym by myself bc ive always gone with a team, but i would say if you’re not ready to go to the gym yet and wanna do some quick things in the form that’ll build muscle, i’d say lots of squats is a good start :) but if you want to build muscle, the majority of your exercise will most likely be weight resistance more than cardio, but cardio is still very important !!! over the summer my mom and i did these workouts from a couple from aus called The Body Project and we really liked them !! they’re not intimidating at all, and a lot of them you don’t even need weights !! they push you pretty hard but they’re so goofy and down to earth, it’s actually really fun :) the husband is an ex boxer and he’s just a goof ball I love him 🥺 but maybe you can browse around and see if you like anything? i hope it helps bub 💖 i’m always here if you wanna talk about that stuff !!!!! and if i don’t hear from you soon, have a good week bubbie 💘💕💖💗💓💞💘💕💖💗💓💞

#asks #💜 anon #sorry if i didn’t sound enthusiastic bub lol i was !!!!! until i had to type everything again lol im osrry !!!! love u !!!!

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colour-outside-the-liness · 3 years

Note

Honestly gonna have to agree with your friends and fam here when they say "ah it makes sense" bc you have a lot gemini in you chart and you tend to overshare haha have never met a gemini who weren't talkative little angels tho 😂 Your roommates boyfriend needs to get with the program bruh he needs to stop fighting it and just join in haha.

I'd love for things to work out between me and earth signs too like! Every time I meet someone new I'm like "it's just astrology bs, ima give them a chance" and then next thing you know I'm laying on my bedroom floor having a meltdown bc of said person 🤟 but! I'll not loose hope. I'm so sorry to hear you were in a toxic relationship with a water sign, I hope you've been able to heal from that experience.

Okay so now I understand the draw to fire and air signs. You know sag and gem are sister signs which means there's almost like a magnetic pull between them, it's like a instant recognition of each other in a very illogical way. I think it's really cool when that happens and have definitely felt it before, more recently with my last roommate when I was living in Canada. She was a gorgeous Canadian gemini and needless to say I had a huge crush on her but by the way we flirted with each other all the time I think it's safe to say the feeling was mutual.

Right 1st house gemini venus. I kinda wanna laugh but ik it's rude, sorry. Listen you like to connect to people through intelect rather than looks. You're a natural charming person and it's really easy to attract others to you. You can be very flirty, even if you don't mean to be. You're kinda hard to pin down tho, you need constant excitement and stimuli to keep things going otherwise you get bored. You don't like routine especially when it comes to affection. Then you tend to have a lot of friends and you have a way of putting people at ease and you spread your love generously.

As for your 11th house aries Mars: you're not afraid to make the first move or to share your feelings and you can be very creative in bed but obviously depends on how comfortable you are with that. The 11th house focuses on friendship, you gather friends from all different social settings in your life. You also have a unique way of expressing yourself which often times makes you feel like an outsider.

Idk if any of this made sense to you but hopefully it will give you a better understanding of your birth chart. And you might be able to discuss it with your friends and family and see if they agree too! I found this Playlist on Spotify with a venus in gemini theme and I thought I'd share it with you. Don't know what kind of music you like specifically but this is a fun one!

https://spoti.fi/3mIdC4R

Wait is Moderna just called Modern over there? Lol I live in Portugal so I guess they just translated the name to portuguese (??) now I feel stupid hahaha 😂 and yeah definitely not complaining about the side effects, just glad to be fully vaccinated. Let me know if you want to know more about other placements on your chart and I'm looking forward to the new MoU update! Have a great week!

Honestly I talk so much like I need to stop talking so much it's a big issue of mine haha!! and I am guessing that's because I have so much gemini in my chart... I think I have 3 lots of gemini in my chart which is the sign that appears the most so if they overshare and talk a lot that makes sense!! I mean he does need to get with the programme and join in... he's a Virgo... don't know if that means anything or not haha Please don't lose hope I am sure one day an Earth sign will surprise you and it will all work out for you!! I have healed a lot from that experience thank you, there are still somethings I have issues with (trust being a huge one) but a lot of other things I have been able to work past and have healed from it all which is a good thing really I've come a long way since getting out of that relationship it's taken a while but I got there in the end and like you I always try and give water signs a chance but I am a little weary of them though I know they are definitely not all the same and that more than anything this was a case of a terrible person over a zodiac sign I have such a strong pull to Sagittarius people one of my sister's is a sag and she is without a doubt one of my best friends we're so close and my roommate who I have been friends with since we were like 14-15 is a sag too and I've never been able to talk to or trust a person like I trust her she has asked me to be the god mother of her child due in January because she just trusts me so much too... but if gemini and sag are sister signs that really makes so much sense that I get along with sags so well!! It's so interesting that you have felt that pull before too and would be so cool if she did feel the same way (which with what you're saying I am sure she did) Yeah that makes sense to me I always see looks as a bonus if I am attracted to someone but intellect and personality come top of the list for me looks aren't a big deal at all and I often for a personality before anything else... I have been told I can be charming and used to get away with a lot of things at school and college because I would charm my way out of it and I have been told that a lot of the time as I've gotten older that people haven often wondered "is she flirting with me or not?" because of how I act around people like all the time!! I would definitely agree that I need constant excitement because I get bored VERY easily when things like affection become monotonous and just routine like I get bored so easily its unreal I don't know about making the first move as such but I definitely let other people know they can like I definitely don't beat around the bush with things and will 100% just tell people how I feel if I am into them, but won't make a move until I know that feeling is reciprocated but I do always tell people exactly how I'm feeling... I have made lots of friends in the past from lots of different walks of life so I think all of this in my chart definitely makes sense to me and I can see why people do say "Ahh that makes sense" Thank you so much for explaining all this to me I really appreciate it and now know I can join in with people when they talk about star signs and all that stuff so thank you very much!! I will definitely listen to that playlist tonight while I do some writing!! Thank you And no it's still called Moderna here sorry my phone must have auto-corrected that so please don't feel stupid at all because it was my phone being stupid and auto-correcting and I didn't realise it had done it!! I would honestly love to know more about my chart because I have repeats of a few signs like Taurus appears twice, so does Capricorn, and Scorpio and as I said before, Gemini appears 3 times... so I have a lot of double ups in my chart and I just wonder what all this means about me I guess... Thank you so much I'm hoping to have a MoU update very soon!! Hopefully tonight actually if I can get together the last few thousand words it's gonna be another long one for you all!! Thank you so much I hope you have a great week too!! ☺️

0 notes

riskeith · 4 years

Note

cluna hi i’m such a dumbass. i was waiting for your response for days missing you but then i realized you DID respond and i just didn’t see it. yikes. anyway HI!

guess what? i started playing genshin impact and i LOVE it. i’ve only played a couple hours though and i’m so surprised at how well it works on mobile. sadly i only have a macbook so i can’t play on my computer but WOW! as i played i hardly noticed it was a mobile game it’s super fleshed out. the world is insanely beautiful. i’m still on the prequel though but god i’m super excited to see how the game will pan out. once again, your rec is amazing and i love you for it.

dude it’s still early so take a long and nice break first before considering studying!! she-ra was so beautiful they handled that show so perfectly... 🥺 are you gonna watch any other shows? also do you have any plans for christmas and new years?

9-10 haha! that’s like... late spring for us. lucky you i’m so jealous though. but no i get you, warmth can sometimes be too overwhelming that sucks. i think summer is mostly loved bc the freedom and the ~good vibes~. spring and fall are superior. they are beautiful n the leaves look beautiful.

i did listen to one ep last night while i took a late night walk!! that was literally everything i was searching for!! i listen to true crime pods mostly in my language (they r very developed n good) but i search a lot for english ones too bc those tend to have more detailed information and varied cases so this one was perfect!!!!!! plus it’s australian so there’s even more new cases to discuss. i love the australian accent too it’s so beautiful... so i’ll definitely be listening more. ty! also enjoy conan 🥺🥺🥺 hes the childhood bae 🥺🥺🥺

how many years will you be in uni? is it the normal 3-5 years? if so, you better get those goodies and experience campus to its full potential 🔪 especially during fall!!

THE SHOT 🥺 BAKUGOU.... TODOROKI!!!!! ok i love that it’s a shot of bk yelling and td just calm and collected. it just shows their personalities perfectly.

they did! but god... i’m like impatiently waiting for the next seasons we’ve already waited a year and counting for season 4 so hm... at least they aren’t rushing with the story so that’s a plus side. (+ i’m sure corona messed the timeline up too n there’s nothing you can do about that sadly)

well, now it’s like 3 days later (i fucking hate myself for this lmao) and it’s 2 pm so i’ve had multiple sleeps since!! hope you are having a good day!!! cant wait to hear from you. <33333

fjdjcnkskskdnc that’s alright hello marriage anon!!! hru 🥺 i missed you too in the meantime ahah

NICE!! that makes me so happy to hear omg. i didn’t even know it wasn’t available on mac? damn that sucks. but i’m glad you’re enjoying it on mobile nonetheless! isn’t the atmosphere just amazing? and the music is so good too. i can’t wait for you to explore some world! a new update with a new region came out yesterday, and i am Struggling with it AHAHHA

thank you for the reassuring words <3 it’s just been ingrained in me to always be on the grind i guess LOL but i’m def still chilling!! i hope you are too 😌😌

i started watching descendants of the sun (korean drama) bc i know how popular it was, but unfortunately...… not my thing lmaoooo. otherwise, i’m considering watching the great pretender or starting a korra rewatch while i still have a netflix trial!

no real plans for christmas or new years, probably just a nice meal with family! i’m going into the countryside for a day trip next week tho, so hopefully that’ll be good! how about you?

spring and fall >>>>>>> indeed! 🌸🍃🍁🍂 i think a lot of the trees around my neighbourhood are evergreen trees tho, so i don’t really get to see the autumn leaves or jump in a pile like people do in or shows or movies. have you gotten to do that before?

yessssss that’s so good to hear! ooo what is your language? and what a multilingual legend! damn you must have such a wide range of cases to listen to then. and yep!! i got into it because a lot of the cases were australian, it’s really interesting learning what’s happened here in the past! and ahahah the host does have a nice voice doesn’t he.. i can’t hear the australian accent tho which brings up the question i always wonder: if i spoke to foreigners would they think i have an aussie accent? imo i’m just.. neutral nothing like the hemsworths but maybe!! i haven’t started conan yet but!!!! i also found it on netflix so soon hopefully~

yup! 3 years. but i’ll hopefully be doing postgrad med too, which adds another 4 years. plenty of time to get acquainted with at least the science/med side of campus and ofc all the goodies!!! how long is your course?

YES!!! their dynamic 😩😩 and then my fave concept: they’re all stoic and cool on the outside but with each other bakugou is a big softie and todoroki is big Dumbass who does all sorts of ridiculous things to get bakugou’s attention <333333

oh noooo it’s been a year already? but you make very good points it’s good for them to take the time needed and ofc safety for everyone too! still.. bring back tdp for marriage anon asap 😤

that’s good to hear!! ALSO??!??!!??!?!???? i woke up to your lil ko-fi gift this morning and?? ily??? tysm???? i’m??? 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 you’ve been a better part of my year too! pls treat yourself for me these holidays!!!! you deserve it sm 💗💖💘💕💞💖💓💖💗💘💕💞💓💖💝💕💓

#marriage anon #wowclunaanswers #long post #11:11 make a wish 🤪

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bigbrothernetflix-st · 4 years

Text

EPISODE THREE

“this was literally one of the worst decisions i've ever had to make so now i'm just kinda pissed off!” - nash

HOH: Nash UPSIDE DOWN: Joey & Saira NOMINEES: Brianna & Gina POV: Jacob FINAL NOMINEES: Emma & Gina EVICTED: Gina (11-1), Jake (WALK)

ARIA

https://youtu.be/SyHPQkbxxw8

JOEY

WATCH THIS AGE LIKE MILK:

I feel great!!!!! Nash winning means my ass aint going up, I gave her 2 tokens, and she gave me 1, and I feel fantastic heading into this week

SAIRA

i feel okay about nash being hoh, she wasn't my first choice but i don't think im in any danger of being nominated (hopefully haha) im not sure who i WOULD want to be nominated, i just know who i wouldn't want, so as long as they're okay i'm good!

JEV

I'm once again feeling pretty good this week. I've grown pretty close to Nash since nominating her in week 1 and she told me and Nathan we aren't going up so, there's that! She's told me Gina is going up and will be her target which I'm not thrilled about but hopefully Gina can pull some miracle and win POV. I'm a little worried about Emma and Jake too, as they've both said they haven't spoken to her much which is dumb, bc like hello??? its week 3, i feel esp with Jake, I can understand Emma bc Nash keeps leaving her on read but I don't think Jake has even tried much (crying emoji) So hopefully they can ALSO pull something out

JAKE

FUCK MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i hate everyone in this game t b h. why can't people just follow with a plan and go through with it like it aint that hard to put your chips on one person from your alliance so youre all safe like........ i dont think these ppl understand strategy and it's TIRING. i frankly am over people relying on their friendships to get themselves through another week bc fucking nash won an alliance-based hoh comp. now we have to deal w this fucking friend group running the house another week. i don't know if i'm safe i'm honestly probably going to be put up??? even tho nash is the one that CONSTANTLY ignores my PMs even tho ive given her paragraphs to respond to... she's gonna do whatever her little friends want her to do. i mean that's what she literally said to me. i was like pls don't nom me <3 and she was like "im not making any promises im just doing whatever the house wants me to do" like girl............ lkjghklsdfjhg what kind of dumbass bullshit response was that. just tell me you're putting me up or you're not. youre a big girl you can make your own fucking decisions.

i give nash what i would give any hoh if they won and that is "i'd never ever nominate you it's never even crossed my mind" and hoping that's enough to make her wanna keep me. she might think im not going after her but, if she's smart, she'll send me out the door this week before i can retaliate.

im super super worried that jacob will be like oh jev n jake aligned in BBHOS9 u should put them up together since jev nominated you week 1. like i feel like she'd do ANYTHING jacob tells her at this point cuz shes just another one of his sheep so like hoping im good w jacob but he's such a wildcard idfk

at this point im just hoping me or emma don't get put up and if we do there will be a veto to be won and a nash/jacob to come after next so...... period

ARIA

yall i feel so fucking cracked and tired of everything but itS FINE!!! I got this easy peasy!! Im not going to always feel motivated but im doing my best and thats valid baby!!! So lets jump in, first off lets start with a random information dump of things i've collected

-jacob has talked about me w/ nicholas during pasio

-monty and jacob have a connection ( i dont even remember how)

-nathan nash (maybe jacob) obviously tight lmao

-joey monty close

-Jake made a counter alliance to Jacob's (actually joshes) alliance made of me gina saira emma and josh

-josh emma me alliance

-JOEY RECORDS CALLS

-Jake is wary of nathan (but also thinks hes cute ugh)

-told jake im wary of pasio peeps so he might nom them

-Jacob alliance STILL isnt created

-called with josh and told him that jacob is wary that the alliance isnt made yet

-jacob josh have a pregame

-told josh, saira and nick have a pregame

-josh kiki close

-josh thinks saira is a social threat

-josh prefers jev over nathan

-told monty to talk to jake more

-told joshua jacob is the most connected person

-got back to nash gina doesnt like her

-jacob kiki nash confirmed trio alliance

-nash told jev gina is the target (jev then told jake)

-josh thought jacob was the original maker of the alliance

-jake thinks jacob/josh are snakes

-jake also thinks jacob-josh-nash-kiki-bri-nick-nathan are an alliance

-josh wants to play the middle w/ me :uwu:

So from here I want to get into how my ideal week will go and how it will realistically go. IDEALLY Nash noms jev and josh with them not winning veto and the house gets rid of a utr social threat but realistically its gonne be gina and jake with gina going bc she doesnt talk to anyone of have any motivation for this game (I LITERALLY WROTE HER A PARAGRAPH TO SEND TO NASH TO NOT BE NOMINATED AND SHE GOES "hmm idk maybe ill send it" LIKE????)

Okay the other thing im freaking out about is bc i feel like theres tension between me Jacob Josh and Jake and im not sure what it is about. I mean i kinda do but im missing key components. The whole situation just doesn't sit right with me at all and I feel very at odds with them in a weird kinda way. I've explained this so many times but i have such a bad feeling that josh leaked the janelle alliance to jacob and is more with him than me and now josh is setting these two sides against each other and i just heard from him that nash isnt nomming him so now im really uncomfy ughhhh i have such a bad feeling and i really need to work on people like jev saira monty to make sure i have people behind me i can fall back on, but also im getting the vibe jake really really trusts me which is great because i want to go far with him as well, unless hes just misting me SUPER hard ughhh

god i just have such a bad feeling about this week buts its fINE totally fine ill work it out eventually,,,but now its trust ranking time yay

1.Gina (youre so inactive i adore you!)

2.Joshua (kid GANG!!! thank you for trusting me sometimes <3)

3.Jake (hes a crackhead but hes my crackhead)

VERY BIG GAP

4.Emma (shes chilling what a lovely gal)

5.Monty (better inactive than be active and a threat)

6.Nathan (youre kinda sketchy but hes like a funky older brother)

7.Josh (youre at the center of a balancing act i wonder if u can keep it up)

8.Nick (they always give such an honest vibe,,,,,i dont trust it)

9.Brianna (shes so sweet but the sweetest angels make the fiercest demons)

10.Jev(,,,,your on slightly thicker ice than joey but combined with a little more charisma)

ANOTHER GAP WOOT WOOT

11.Joey (youre on THIN fucking ice buddy,,,,please be more open w/ me)

12.Saira (im begging for u to talk game to me,,, but also since we havent talked u cant snake me yet)

13. Jacob (idk ily sm but youre so fcking connected and idk if i reached ur inner circle yet)

14. Kiki (my favorite furry)

15.Nash (please talk to me im begging ill do anything please plsease plaease plae-)

So update ive been talking around and wow this game loves looking at my allies and kicking them in the kneecaps while spitting in their eyes ugh. So nash is probably leaning towards nomming jake and Gina with gina as the target (really weird that jake is nommed makes me think jacob had some influence there) but in that scenario best case is that veto is used and anyone but josh goes up and that person leaves easy fucking peasy!! Anyway i just talked with josh and apparently jacob was the one who came up with the alliance idea which is interesting bc he tried to pin it on josh. Anyways not to totally contradict my initial rant but me and josh had a really good chat where we're kinda in the same position between two groups (the og alliance and janelle) and we dont know if we should make the og alliance and with who bc of janelle so we're struggling to see whats the correct move from here....or maybe josh is completely misting me but i fucking hope not ugh- either way im surviving this week and thats that!!

JEV

I'm realising that I'm getting myself into a pretty tight position since I have firm alliances with Emma & Jake and Nash & Nathan, as well as being extremely close to Josh C, which could prove difficult for me down the line, but I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.

KIKI

https://youtu.be/6cn8xUFWqhA

BRIANNA

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1XvZzg3dTEZ89VeFbG3bxk4JFNtr7Ixm0/view?usp=sharing

i had to use google drive bc it wouldn't take my file on youtube :((((

JEV

So right now I've somehow accidentally wriggled my way into conspiring with Nash on how best to take Gina out, which is so dumb of me because I don't really want to see Gina leave this week, but at the same time I'm having to fight Nash's decision because she wants to put Emma up beside her and... I can't let that happen because I'm worried Emma would leave over Gina

JEV

So I'm speaking to Nash, taking the heat off of Emma by telling her I feel she could be a number for me/her/Nathan down the line, and now I'm pushing for Brianna to go up since Nash wants someone who 100% wouldn't leave over Gina and I'm thinking like... WHO would vote to evict Brianna, but at the same time I'm feeling super terrible about it because Brianna is a literal angel

JEV

Wow a lot going on so I'm trying to update as best I can, Nash is saying she's going to randomise for who goes to the upside down so I'm having to encourage her not to include me or Nathan in the randomisation just incase she needs us for strategising but REALLY its so I can stay and hang around and try my best to keep Emma from touching the block at all this week.

NASH

sorry for nominating women i didnt mean it.

EMMA

If i am being honest the more this game goes by i get so unmotivated and its only week 3 i suck because well in bbgames like galar and almia i mostly played from the bottom now im like alright i kinda want to fuck up my game for fun but kinda pisses me off a bit that i almost could of been nominated if it wasnt for jev but that pisses me off so much i tried talking to nash but i get left on read i dont take things 100x personal unless if somebody is being mean like laughing etc but knowing that i would be on the block over brianna when i did try talking to nash its still hurts a little but if somebody like gina wins veto if i get on the block it issss what it isss i guess but i played on the bottom way to many times maybe i can do this??

JEV

So my efforts worked and Brianna went up instead of Emma, now I've just gotta hope neither of the noms win POV/that the POV isn't used so I don't have to throw someone elses name out there to Nash :flushed:

JOSH

hello ladies and gays. straights aren't welcome here.

today, we are feeling GOOD because the person we nominated just a few days ago won power and STILL didn't nominate me. is that iconnery or what? i was honestly ready for my ass to be TOAST but i did approach nash before they won HOH and had a conversation about where we stood and they said i would be OKAY this week bc we did start talking. we love to see it, yes we do!

the nominees this week are gina and brianna and.. even though i'm in two different alliances with both of them, i'm not mad at either of them going up. i don't REALLY talk with either and i'd be happy to see either one of them go. the tricky part will be figuring out WHO to vote when the time comes, but we have a POV to happen before we get there. we'll SEE.

if i had to choose, i'd probably send brianna home simply because i find her a bit CHAOTIC where i feel like gina isn't really going to cause a lot of waves with me. she's much more quiet whereas brianna is more likely to be able to pick herself back up.

some other fun events going on:

jake was NOT happy about nash winning and thought he was going to get nominated because of it. he was about to RIP nash a new one and is really brewing with how much he hates them. MAKES ME LAUGH A LIL BECAUSE IT WAS SO UNWARRANTED BUT NEVERTHELESS, it's something to note that jake does NOT like nash.

i think aria is my number one right now bc we get along really well and have very similar opinions. i'm really open with how i talk to her so i'm HOPING she's not spilling everything i say to someone else but i don't think she WOULD? i dunno. i love her energy and i'm hoping we can SLICE AND DICE together in the middle.

my strategy is to take my HOH under my belt and take a step back for a minute while my two alliances (one: jake, aria, gina, emma, saira, me & two: jacob, aria, brianna, kiki, me) get picked off back and forth. i'm going to see if i can craft a narrative for them to go after each other but we'll SEE. there are a lot of people in the middle i enjoy a lot more than some of the people in my alliances so IDK. i feel like some people got thrown into these alliances that i did NOT want but they were kind of forced in so i don't trust it. and i think people KNOW because i'm not very chatty abt it in the chats (and i haven't even made one of the chats. am i supposed to? idk)

anyways that's all for now x

ARIA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zp71zzR-wgE

someone help

JAKE

https://voca.ro/g2ZQWs9x8du

JEV

Not miss Nash coming to me asking how I'd feel about being renom :flushed:

JEV

So I literally just woke up from a sleep and in the space of 30 minutes have had to talk Nash out of renomming me, Emma or Jake since we've just made an alliance together so I warned her that probably wouldn't work out for us in the long run. We narrowed it down and she shortlisted Aria, Josh C, Monty & Nick, and I have spun her to try and get her to nominate Aria, because 1. I don't wanna see Josh C go up and 2. like with Brianna I feel nobody here would vote to evict Aria, and Nash wants Gina GONE (crying emoji) so I feel this was the only logical renom to suggest.

JEV

The conversation has turned back to Emma and I just really don't wanna let that happen because I do feel like she'd leave over Gina. Part of me is saying not to stick my neck out too much to save Emma but at the same time she's my number 1 in this game and I hope she'd return the favour if she was in my position.

NASH

this was literally one of the worst decisions i've ever had to make so now i'm just kinda pissed off!

ARIA

Well,,,, FBSFJDF I feel like im making so many of these but honestly this game changes everyday so please dont be too annoyed by me uwu, the mood swing i had just this DAY was insane so lets begin w/ the general info-

IN TIME LINE ORDER

-Jev told jake that something about noms but acted dumb when I asked

-Gina/Joshua/Aria alliance created!!

-Saira and Josh are close

- VIDEO DR GOES HERE

-Jake spills Emma-Jev-Nathan-Nash-Jake alliance with Emma/Jev/Jake being a trio as well= Jev created the alliance

-Jev prefers gina out

-jake doesnt believe in screenshots or recording calls

-Jev and Jake are close

-Jev/Jacob/Jake all played together before

-I leaked Bri's backups to Jake as well as Jacob's trio with Nash and Kiki

-nash almost backdoored jev bc he wasnt responding to her

-jev was the reason i was almost otb

-I WAS ALMOST OTB

-Josh AND Jacob both want Jake out

-Bri thinks nash's comp ability is scary

-Nash and Nick are close

-Jacob nervous about Bri's backup leaking

-Jacob barely talks w/ saira and monty

-made a final three w/ jacob josh called malibu

So now im debating whether its morally okay for me to analyze what happened in the living room in a game sense. FBSdffan So lets run down things in chronological order and I might mention my thoughts if they arent too controversial, Nathan leaks the alliance with jev/nash/jake/emma. Eventually emma says 'i wanna know who put these thoughts in the hohs head" and nick starts to shut the discussion down which is an interesting contrast to their earlier attitude where they were very for the drama continuing, which leads me to begin they had some sort of hand in it. Nathan goes on to say he likes nash on a personal lvl which jake analyzes as a nod to a friendgroup and a mini confrontation between nathan and jake occur. I believe that part was just a misunderstanding on both parties account. Then happy discussion until Jake calls nash out for being in the diary session for too long which leads to a discussion of house guests over analyzing production and using that as a strategy which is ultimately unfair and also at this time I believe nash was going through itTM leading to their friends to be slightly defensive on their behalf (which is valid) and i after rereading things i really hope that they're okay, ultimately this leads up to frustration on Jake's part and his ultimate quit.

I mean where do i go from here? I have the Bri's angels but that did get leaked to Emma on Jake's way out so i need to figure some way to micromanage that where i think im gonna make a emma jev alliance and work with them as a trio in the future (if gina goes) but rn i feel like this force of energy that is Bri's backups is gonna body for a bit but i think theyre gonna throw hoh leading me jev or emma to step up and body a bit. Like i think i might actually win hoh and nom nash and monty with a nick potential renom bc im BORED and nash continuing to skate by without even talking to me is not valid, and monty is so not here its like??? HEWWO??? but idk thats making big moves i may just chill a bit for now but i dont want jev and emma being targeted in the future bc theyre gonna be numbers for me and thats on PEWIOD!

HOST WEEKLY CAST ASSESSMENT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L25lY813N1k&list=PLFEwPPy8j010XXwntq80VSU0qLNTNpSIN&index=4&t=0s

#bbnetflix st

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ao3-writer · 7 years

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Black & White; The Invitation

Yo, so I’ve decided I will start this series and before anything else, I am going to state that my updates are most likely going to be random, but I will try and post a new chapter at least once a week. This will keep you guys on your toes and (hopefully) not bored. This is entirely told from the 3rd POV, but if you guys/gals would rather it be 1st person, I can do that too.

Also, I will continued to answer asks and such every now and then, if you want to stick to the consistent updates of this series, I suggest you turn on notifs for me just in case.

Don’t forget to vote. I’ll set a limit of 72 to 120 hours (three to five days) from when the fic was originally posted. I’ll throw in a reminder and a time stamp at the end of each update too.

If I messed up in some way or if something I wrote is alarming and such, don’t hesitate in telling me. I really want this to be a good experience for everyone that reads :)

How long will the series take? I’m not sure. School’s starting back up again so I hope to finish this before/around October. Maybe. We’ll see.

That’s all I have to say on the matter. So, without further ado- Enjoy!

[Side Note: This’ll probably be the most boring chapter bc a lot of intro and such so bear with me on this one, Great.]

The second the letter slid through their doors, they all felt goosebumps raise. Who even sent letters anymore besides the IRS? Nobody. Except grandparents. But do they ever write to their grandkids anymore?

Jack was the first one to open his. He tore into it, the curiosity being a normal attribute of his that never stopped him. The actual letter had a red trim along the edge, shiny and fancy. The words were written in big, loopy cursive that could only be predated to that of a fancier age in history.

Mark stared at his own card, almost startled by how clean it looked. Elegant, some would say. But... for what purpose? He couldn’t tell. The other nine invitees couldn’t figure it out either.

It was simple. A little invitation to a “fun gathering” of some sort in what appeared to be a small estate upon looking at it, but once up close, it resembled a mansion. The walls pale and brown, the front steps a soft gray that could’ve resembled plastic but it was clay. The road into the estate was neatly paved, as if it was polished clean day in and day out.

“I’m sorry.” Mark interrupted the silence of the car ride. “Where exactly are we?”

The chauffeur look into the rear-view mirror and glanced at Mark and Amy where they sat quietly.

“Or... not,” Mark mumbled quietly as he looked back out the tinted windows to see they had entered a set of gates. Multiple cars all came around a large fountain that stood in front of the mansion, the chauffeurs all exited and opened the doors unanimously, like clockwork.

Mutters of “thank you’s” and “goodbye” were what was left before the cars drove off in file. The ten invitees all stood at the foot of the steps that led to the great, white doors that awaited them. One by one, they all clambered up in fancy gowns and attires as they reached the doors. A small doorbell called to Mark’s name, he pressed down on it once. Seconds passed before the doors opened majestically to reveal decor that came from a fairytale.

A sparkling chandelier hung above their heads at a great height, the diamonds and shards of glass that twinkled had them mesmerized. The floor was marble, intricate designs of the most wealthy of symbols and twirls were outlined in different shades of marble. Standing in the center stood a man with slightly tanned skin, almost caramel, his hair swiped to the side magnificently and a smile that reflected his bright white teeth.

“Welcome. I’m glad you could arrive. How was the ride?” He asked, voice high and cheerful. This set off alarms in Ethan’s head.

A chorus of compliments came from the guests and the man spread open his arm, pointing toward an entrance toward what must be a dining room.

“Right this way, folks.”

Everyone mumbled and spoke amongst themselves. Their conversations hushed and confused.

Eventually they found their way into a large room with a long dining table, some small appetizers placed along the narrow path, some people made their way to the table almost immediately.

“Please, seat yourselves and dig in to what food is there. The main meal will be served in just a moment,” the man said, smile bright and friendly.

“Is it just me or is this place kinda creepy?” Ethan mumbled to Amy. She shrugged as she popped a shrimp into her mouth.

“I don’t know, but the food is good,” she said chewing another shrimp that she’s manged to take down. The rest of the guests are all familiar faces that he’s seen and met before.

There was Dan and Phil over to the right of him, analyzing the lettuce wraps as if they’d jump and bite them. There was Rosanna, from Nerdy Nummies, talking to Mathew and Stephanie from Game Theory. Signe and Jack were staring at the decorations on the walls behind them. Then Ethan, Amy and Mark hovered next to the dinner table as Amy and Mark ate the food.

Ethan had came for Tyler, he had gotten sick and couldn’t make it but gave his invitation happily to Ethan. Which, he now regretted considering he got chills all over the second he got into that car.

“Please, take a seat. No need to stand and meddle. Let’s get to know each other, how about that?” The Kind-Man asked. Everyone took his advice, finding a seat and sitting down. “I’ll start. I am your host, my name is Lucas and I am newly engaged. I help run a catering business with the love of my life in town.”

Everyone stares at him and he nods his head over to his right.

“Oh, uh, my name’s Dan. I know all of you, thank God, and presumably we all do YouTube here? So let’s get that out of the way first. Secondly, I am single and ready to cry.”

They each go down the table, one by one. Phil was nest, and they followed order until they reached Signe, who sat on Lucas’ left. By the time they finish introducing themselves, as if it wasn’t an everyday normality, a maid and a butler walk in from a swinging door, presumably to the kitchen with trays of food.

And all of the food that was soon placed on the table was mouth watering.

“A toast,” Lucas said, raising his glass before everyone reached simultaneously for trays of food, “to a night of fun surprises and reckless memories.”

Everyone raised their glass and cheered weakly, before taking a drink and setting them down to start eating. The food was even better than it looked. In just a few minutes, Ro stole half the cornbread and Jack was stuffing himself with all the sausage links on his end of the table. Lucas’ plate seemed almost empty with few contents on it while the rest seemed to have loaded theirs up.

In the middle of chatter and witty banter, Signe excused herself to go touch up on makeup. She left the table and quietly walked off, asking the maid in the process where the restroom was.

Down the hall and to the right, she entered, locking the door behind her. She stared at herself in the mirror, seeing she had smudged some of her lipstick and her wing was starting to droop. She snatched a wipe from her clutch, wiping away the rest of her lipstick since they were eating after all. Tried to touch up her wing, scoffing as she did so when she wiped off too much.

She spent a good minute or two attempting to reapply it when she heard a knock.

“Occupied!” She said, trying not too move too much as she came close to finishing. Another harsh knock and she sighed. “Just a minute! I’ll be out soon!”

Once successfully saving her makeup dilemma, Signe closed her clutch and opened the door.

“Jaysus, someone’s impatie--” She began to mumble before being struck on the head. She groaned, hand on her temple where she was hit as she stumbled back into the bathroom. The figure followed her and closed the door behind them, locking it in the process.

The chatter in the dining room continued, everyone carrying on their conversations happily as they ate, unaware of the sounds of Signe’s sudden despair. As the minutes ticked by and Jack grew lonely, he spoke over everyone else at the table.

“Hey, can someone check up on Signe?” Jack asked, looking at everyone else. “She’s been gone for a while and I’m just worried she didn’t get lostin this big house.”

Everyone exchanged glances, many of them silently begging not to leave the amazing food behind.

“Sure,” Ethan replied after the conversations stopped.

“No, I’ll go,” Dan said, “I need to use the loo anyway.” The two men stood up almost simultaneously, they stared down one another awkwardly before looking at Jack who suddenly felt the pressure.

He didn’t understand why this felt like such a big decision. He’s sure Signe’s fine, but he’s just worried. What could he do?

V O T E : Dan Howell or Ethan Nestor to find Signe

Voting Polls Close in 48 hours (2 days)

[So this is what the voting will end up being like. A scenario is given along with a question. You guys are given two to three options to vote for, do so in the comments/reblog. Don’t just like it. There’s the time limit before I close the polls.]

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andrewuttaro · 5 years

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New Look Sabres: Amerks Angle - March Edition

If you’re not following Let’s Go Amerks on twitter you’re missing out. Those back to back games against the Charlotte Checkers earlier this month got me going. LGA talked me down, I was ready to go into panic mode about a potential Eastern Conference Final. You’d think I’m new to this sports thing. A couple disclaimers on this story: Yes, I know there is a different level professional hockey players turn up to when the playoffs start. In spite of my blog normally being about a team that hasn’t made the playoffs in eight years, I know those kinds of things. Another thing: I put a little bit too much stock in regular season matchups. The first two games of the season against the Checkers is certainly a different thing but am I crazy for thinking it affected these guys since then? Bear in mind they had a decent sized layover to rest and practice between those Checkers games and the Cleveland Monsters game this time last week. However, there have been two losses since and the two wins against Toronto were just ok. Moreover, the Americans have not been able to recapture their lead of the North Division since those two games against the Checkers. The Syracuse Crunch, ever the killjoy team for this Amerks squad, has caught fire. They’re trying to get their second Division title in three years as if its no big deal. If I hadn’t jinxed it and started to obsess over the Amerks getting a division title this year I would’ve relished their taking the top spot going into the big dance and taking on the hot Belleville Senators in the first round. Though here I am, watching the Amerks narrowly win games two wins back of the Crunch. The Amerks have eight games left including tonight’s matchup against the Laval Rocket. Laval would be dead last if it weren’t for the Binghamton Devils stinking up the division. Facing those two teams would have inspired some confidence in my if we hadn’t seen the Amerks lose to inferior competition a half dozen times in the early going of this season. The last eight games also include three games against the Crunch. Yikes, this playoff race thing is something I am not used to and a little intimidated by. As a fan of this Sabres-Amerks organization I got to say thank God though; if the Amerks weren’t good this season what would we do?

There is more than a playoff race going on, however. Casey Fitzgerald of Boston College signed his entry-level deal the other day and the Captain of the BC Eagles was one of their better defenseman as he finished his senior season out there in Hockey East of the NCAA. He was assigned to Rochester immediately and with the Matt Tennyson call up to Buffalo Fitzgerald may get his first opportunity tonight against Laval. He fills a defensive need on the organizational depth chart and in spite of being just under six foot he is an assist machine. Kind of like what we saw out of Eichel this season you know you have a good playmaker when the guy is making a ton of other people’s goals happen. I’m not saying he’s the defensive Jack Eichel, he’s unproven beyond the college level but man, it is good that he gets to roll right on from his college hockey season right on into an Amerks playoff run to find out how good he is. On the player personnel side things have gotten pretty interesting lately in general. I want to preface all the call ups we’re about to go into by saying I expect all these guys will be back, hopefully healthy, for the Amerks playoff run. I don’t see the Linus Ullmark affair repeating itself this season anywhere but perhaps we can put a bow on all the call up/deployment hard feelings we seem to be feeling right now. Lawrence Pilut got the call up before the Sabres game on Monday against the New Jersey Devils. Unlike Tage Thompson who is also qualified to come down to the Amerks for their run, Pilut was supposed to stay up in Buffalo earlier this season. He is easily worthy of being in that defensive core and I suspect he will be soon if the wisdom of the GM prevails over the poor deployment of the NHL coach. Pilut is a good soldier on the back end and has made this… apparently tanking Sabres team, a little easier to watch. Again, he’ll be back. I almost forgot, last week saw the Alex Nylander call up which has gone swimmingly and barring a real disaster he may be at peak confidence when he returns to the Amerks. How fortunate change, eh? This leaves us with the Victor Olofsson call up. We can worry about injury until the second coming, but I prefer, in this desolate, depressing time for the Sabres, to be optimistic. Up for one game and Olofsson already has his first NHL point. There is no reason not to be excited for him. He’s going to do good up in Buffalo and he’s gone for two games the bodies remaining in Rochester should be able to handle in the Rocket and the Devils.

Frustrations are high in Buffalo right now. I see a lot of us Amerks fans have poked the bear more than we should. Another lost Sabres season is tough and I understand fully why we want our Amerks postseason to not get… dare I say it… sabotaged by a couple of call ups. Full-time Sabres fans have no patience right now for us asking for a little bit of understanding and if you haven’t noticed the angry responses are robotically reciting the relationship between the NHL and AHL again. Let it go. If injuries happen they happen. If they don’t, fantastic! No Sabres fan is wishing injury on our players. It bears repeating in times like this that the organization as a whole has never had a more build-from-the-bottom-up regime than it does right now, not in the last twenty years at least. Treasure that and when Sabres fans are too thick-headed to understand why poor NHL deployment and injury risk are scary enough factors for Amerks fans: let it go. When they’re in a better mood they’ll understand, trust me, I’m one of them. You know what will put them in a better mood? A Calder Cup Championship and that’s not exactly out of the question this season. I had to get those feelings off our collective chest, that stuff is absurd right now. Once again let me recommend Let’s Go Amerks: Keith and Eric run a fantastic blog for the Rochester Americans and speaking of call up drama, no Amerks fans handle it better than those guys.

Unfortunately, I have some bad news to report. Due to some personal, scheduling factors in my life it seems as though the “Calder Quest” updates during the playoff run are going to be awfully difficult to accomplish. I won’t be doing anymore Amerks Angle Updates on the team this season. For all three of you who are a little bummed at that, I apologize. It doesn’t mean I won’t be locked into everything the Amerks do from here on out. Moreover, I will be posting a fun little tracker of the Calder Cup run regularly. I have all kinds of ideas for what Amerks Angle could be next season, but I want to hear what you think. Like, share and comment on this post what you think would be a fun way to cover the Rochester Americans. I am going to recommend Let’s Go Amerks one more time now just to get the hat trick. Those guys are the gold standard but don’t expect me to go full beat reporter on the Amerks. I live in Buffalo right now and frankly I don’t have the time or writing skills to do what they do. Either way, hopefully next time we’re together here recapping the Amerks we have a banner or two to talk about. Let’s Go Rochester!

Thanks for reading.

P.S. I think I’m going to go full Captain America with shield for Amerks playoff games. If you happen to come to one I’ll be one of those freaks.

#rochester americans #rochester #AHL #hockey #blog

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subjectsilver · 7 years

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5:05 AM on July 23rd

i absoTonight someone got stabbed over a god damn jul pod.

but lets back up

I have been at school for a week.

I needed to get out of columbus... just like old times there was just nothing left for me there i was just killing myself because of how summer went and how i am and shit whatever. it'll be nice to temporarily go back in the winter and spring and even next summer and i can't wait until then but for now i need to not be there. I need school i need distractions i need people - i need people who are my friends but I'm not too close with - distractions are all i need right now so i don't hurt myself.

I came back to Wake and literally the first day i was here i heard 1-800-273-8255 - Logic 3 times by three separate people. Thats a fucking sign if i know it...ive never really heard that song until like that day and now i listen to it every single day...

Everyday i wake up and have running or lifting and i do that in the morning then i just sit and do nothing until playing pick up soccer at night which is kinda shitty bc fuck boredom and fuck routine but its a distraction none the less so its alright with me...

Im destroying my bank account because i have no meal plan so i eat out everyday which is like 10$ a meal cus life is expensive... but at least I'm eating i mean I'm still underweight sitting around 140lbs but I'm not getting any lighter. Tbh i was kind of getting comfortable being skinny because i love the way my baggy t shirts that are too big for me, fall on me when I'm underweight but i know inside i need to get my weight up to be healthy and like sane. but ill get there..i hope - eating as much as i can in hopes to gain weight anyway.

I knew i was forgetting something when i left - well i forgot a lot but least of all i forgot my contact case so i was sleeping in my contacts for like 5 straight days and that shit killed my eyes but i finally got a case so last night was the first time i slept without them and if i sleep tonight it'll feel good as well.

I'm trying to think about what happened this week but nothing really happens during summer school it kinda sucks. I met all the freshman guys and girls and they all seem pretty cool I've been chilling outside with them every night when were done with pick up and shit because i have nothing better to do and i like hearing conversation hearing them all talk and reading all of them. Half of them think I'm crazy because i only sleep like 4 hours a night and because my teammates tell them the stories that are my snapchat stories this summer. It is what it is ya know.

SIDENOTE andre keels is currently telling me about how he went on a date with this girl and he's low-key geeking out and its pretty funny, I'm happy for him he deserves the high that follows being low - i hope i get that eventually.

I had a really low night a couple nights ago where i just sat outside listened to jcole and smoked cigarettes by myself but i got thru it.. it just seems like when I'm doing absolutely nothing my mind takes over and i think about all the things that bother me with life or just life itself. its kinda shitty because it seems like when I'm not distracted its like a struggle to keep living like i don't understand the point of living or being alive or life in general so it confuses me why I'm here but i try not to think about it.

I thought i was a going to quit cigarettes but i literally need them not because I'm addicted but bc its something to do when I'm alone at night by myself... and i should prob get a jul pod or some shit but its so expensive and niggas are getting stabbed over it now and I'm just not about that lmao ........ I'm dying on my own terms if anything.

im not on social media really anymore. i check it every once in a while but very rarely except like writing weekly shit like i am rn or on snapchat. i guess like 5 albums came out or something and i had absolutely no idea. it's alright tho other people fill me in eventually I'm currently listening to tyler the creators new album. Its a lot better than i expected tbh.

“5 car garage....full tank of gass but that don't mean nothing nothing nothing without u in the passenger”

took a little break to smoke a cig - I'm kinda nice at it now and hitting juuls tbh despite my efforts and much coughing in the past I'm finally getting nice. with my luck ill probably get cancer or some shit but thats alright i guess (kanye hands)

anyways down to business aka the most excitement of this week SOMEONE GOT STABBED OVER A FUCKING JUUL POD

thats fucking lit and crazy and so disappointing of humanity but at the same time the greatest thing thats ever happened ever...

actually 2 people got stabbed but one kid got sliced in the finger so like that doesn't even count but the email i got said 2 people stabbed soon i mean i don't make the rules. I was chilling right i played like 2 games of pong and won both (ayeeeee) then i walked into this house and was staring out of a window i actually took a pic but this fight broke out and i turned around and everyone started leaving under the assumption cops would come... so i walked outside and i was trying to account for everyone that was there because DAD FOLDS came out and i was counting everyone and i thought i had it correct but this kid was like where is abby i think she's dead inside like passed out drunk soon despite hearing sirens i ran back inside and checked the house to find that she was not there which was good so i ran outside and started running with this kid named Sam.. so me and sammy for running through yards and bushes and shit but my shoe got caught in a bush (fuck me right) “sam go on without me live on bruv” so sam started running away... i finally got unstuck and i saw like 3 cops chasing sam so i ran the other direction around this building and on the other side i saw 4 cop cars so immediately i dipped into these bushes where i hit my face on a brick wall and copped a gnarly scratch that will not scar which is disappointing... (incase u were wondering go had a black t shirt on and not the usual white so my shit was not stained or anything thank god) so i was laying there for a good 10 seconds and i got on snapchat and scrolled thru the stories for a brief moment when i heard “sir we saw you jump in the bushes please come out” i was like fuckkkk mee so i got out with my hands up cus a nigga not trynna end up like trayvon and i backed up slowly and got handcuffed and then they patted me down found my wallet, luckily found my real ID and then put me in the car... i wait there for a little and scrolled thru snapchat behind my back and then they pulled me out and questioned me. I just claimed ignorance bc i actually didn't really know shit at all... my only lie was that i didn't know the only guy i was running with. Then they just let me go. They asked me why i was running if i didn't do anything and i was like “i wasn't trynna get stabbed and also cops these days shoot black people so i wasn't trying to be shot either” and at some point this cop was like do you have an accent where are u from and i was like uhhhh ohio? but they let me go and i walked back to campus and i saw all these freshman outside and i was like ooo go to bed y'all and we all went to bed.... then i laid there for like 2 hours before going back outside...talked to some people for a while who were out there and then skrrttted off to smoke and music and write..

present time - its 5:48 AM and someone got stabbed over a juulie like 6 hours ago thats wild....................

tomorrow or today technically I'm going to play beer die (a drinking game) [google that shit] at like 3 and then go to a team cook out and chill. should be alright.

this tyler the creator album is actually kinda nice - i actually did find some nice songs on soundcloud tho today i found a really nice piano piece that kinda calms me down in the beginning then slowly gives me anxiety... I've had a lot of anxiety lately

it seems like I'm feeling so much shit now as opposed to being numb and feeling just so dead and all the feeling at once just scares the shit out of me or makes me heart want to explode but its kinda nice to feel shit sometimes... i still have moments days where i feel absolutely nothing but it is what it is...it can't all get better at one time... I've just noticed tho that like everything use to seem weird to me like literally “this is so weird” always went thru my mind but now EVERYTHING is so scary to me like even if I'm not paying attention and someone speaks to me and the sound catches me off guard it makes me jump. its weird - haha

its getting light outside i know i need to sleep because I'm trying to get 8 hours a night even tho it doesn't always happen but I'm trying. last night i laid awake for 2 hours thinking about magic tricks. card tricks that i will eventually try on people...i created my own card tricks in my head... i have zero decks of cards rn tho which is so rare for me never really happens.

anyways - another update will come next sunday and hopefully by then i get stabbed over a juul pod by then.

6:00 AM I FUCKING HATE BUTTERFLIES.

i love you good morning.

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camsthisky · 8 years

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Writing Self-Evaluation for 2016

Writing Self-Evaluation for 2016 for @camsthisky (and my sideblog @lanceaboo)

Tagged by @seitosokusha about a month ago and I’ve been putting it off bc I know looking into last year will be a serious wake up call (I’ve written a total of 6 things since the new year and it should honestly be more)

1. Lists of works published this year:

Ricompensa [KHR]

In a moment like this [KHR]

War Torn (chs 15-23) [KHR]

An Older Brother’s Duty [One Piece]

It Takes a Blink [One Piece]

And on and on we go [One Piece]

Headphones [Voltron]

Run With Your Heart [Voltron]

Stop Telling Me Everything is Simple [Voltron]

The Point is to Understand [Voltron]

All That Matters [Voltron]

One Word Story Game [Voltron]

It’s Getting Darker But I’ll Carry On [Voltron]

Everything is Fine (Even When It’s Not) [TMNT]

Thanks For Trying [TMNT]

The Control Freak, the Narcissist, and the Liar [TMNT]

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

Probably The Control Freak, the Narcissist, and the Liar. Last year (and going into this year) was a real challenge, and I feel like the Control Freak AU was reflective of how I was feeling. I also (successfully) tried out writing in present tense, and I absolutely love the way this story flows.

It’s Getting Darker But I’ll Carry On is a close second, though. I love the way the dynamics work between Lance and Keith in IGBICO, even though I’ve all but stopped writing for Voltron at this point (which sucks, but the fandom in general is killing my writing spirit).

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

Thanks for Trying or An Older Brother’s Duty are both stories that I really wish I worked harder on. The fact is, I was writing both under pressure, and neither turned out the way I had envisioned. Both are stories I’m probably going to redo within the next few years. Not now, but it’s on my to do list.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

Here are two.

From The Control Freak, the Narcissist, and the Liar

The sobbing tapers off, and when Donnie looks down, Mikey’s gone still. He’s holding his breath, and Donnie’s not really sure what to make of it. As far as Donnie knows, this isn’t normal, and Donnie knows a lot.

“Mikey?” Donnie tries. “You with me?”

A shuddering nod is all Donnie gets in response, but it’s more than he was really expecting, especially with the glassy look Mikey’s got in his eyes.

“Do you want to tell me what happened?”

“No.” Mikey’s voice is raspy, and the sound of it makes Donnie wince with sympathy. He was probably going to be feeling that for a little while.

“Okay. That’s okay,” Donnie tells him. He holds Mikey a bit tighter. “You, uh, you don’t have to say anything you don’t want to. Just- Just know that I’m here and not going anywhere.”

Mikey mutters something along the lines of “thank god” and turns his face into Donnie’s plastron. They stay like that for a long time, on the floor of Donnie’s lab, with a broken toaster sitting on his lab table waiting to be fixed.

The toaster can wait. Mikey can’t.

It’s Getting Darker But I’ll Carry On

The thing about guns were that they were loud; Lance had lucked out with his bayard. It wasn't nearly as loud as an actual sniper rifle would be, but it still made a noise that had Mullet Man wincing from where he was sitting next to him on the branch. Lance was glad they'd had time to come out here, otherwise they'd probably be hopelessly surrounded by now.

But now they could (probably) relax. Lance had blown off the zombie’s head, and that usually did the job of stopping the things from moving, so he let out his breath in a relieved huff.

“Alright, Mullet Man,” Lance laughed, shoulders actually relaxing now that the zombie couldn't get them. He turned to his companion. “Let's go find that brother of yours.”

Mullet Man raised an eyebrow. “Mullet Man?” he asked, face scrunching up in incredulity. “Seriously?”

Lance shrugged, an easy grin pulling at his lips. “Hey, I had to call you something.”

“Then call me Keith,” the guy said. “Not Mullet Man. Who are you?”

“The name’s Lance,” he said, holding out a hand, one that Keith took. “Zombie Slayer extraordinaire.”

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

Asghjhsj I always die whenever I get a comment from @maychorian, who I really look up to a s a writer, on any of my Voltron fics.

On War Torn, I’ve gotten a bunch of reviews that go something like “I just read through it ALL and I haven’t slept for like 48 hours bc I wanted to finish this so bad” and they always make my day (But even though I’m not one to talk, you guys should get more sleep). But my fav from War Torn has to be by KellyKatt19, who is just so sweet and amazing.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I can’t remember how much I’ve shared on tumblr before, but some of my mutuals may remember the time I had to go to the emergency room, then bounce around from doctor to doctor when they couldn’t figure out how exactly to treat me, get surgery, and then spend a week and half at home recovering from an infection almost exactly a year ago (February of 2016). I was…not very cheerful, and all I did from two weeks was cry, and feel pretty sorry for myself. I could barely muster the energy to get out of bed. I looked and felt like death warmed over, and through the entire time, and for about two weeks after that, I didn’t touch a notebook, and I couldn’t bring myself to type anything. It was a disturbing feeling. No ideas were coming to my head, I was constantly frustrated with everything, I couldn’t update anything. It was a hard time. I managed to get myself out of my funk though.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

There were two things that I never thought I would do. One, write angst (and wow, I created an entire four chapters full of it so far, and it’s still going strong), and two, write Leonardo (from TMNT) in a bad light. But I did both of them in the same story.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

The one thing that I learned this year was that not everything I write is going to perfect. Also, after experimenting more with my writing style, I found one that I really, really like, so that’s a plus.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

Hopefully I can develop my writing style a bit more. I’m also hoping to get a bit better at dialogue. I suck at normal people interactions, so that’s always been a weak point for me.

10. Who was your positive influence as a writer (could be another writer or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Oh boy. Okay, well I’ve met a lot of amazing people last year. A few mutuals - @seitosokusha, @stepichu, @mithril-lace (we’ve actually been mutuals for longer than a year, I think), @lancemcgayn, @lancemcclains. I’m really lucky that I had all these wonderful people to support me, especially in my writing. Hay and Mei were awesome when it came to my insecurities about posting, and Mithril, Seito, and Steph were always there when I needed a pick me up or some advice.

The other positive influence I’ve had as a writer is probably @taizi, Without Problem Child and all the TMNT and One Piece stories, I’d definitely be a different person than I am today. All of taizi’s stories (especially PC) have made me look at the world in a different light, and I can’t express my thankfulness enough that I follow taizi, even if we don’t know each other.

Also - @omggummybear. Thank you for everything.

11. Anything from real life show up in your writing this year:

I was diagnosed with an anxiety disorder last October, so I probably projected at some point.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Writing is always, always developing. Even for experienced writers. Just because you don’t think that you’re improving, doesn’t mean you aren’t. Don’t get frustrated with yourself if you can’t see your improvement. It’ll show, you’ve just got to give it time (that was a lesson I learned the hard way).

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

Oh geez. I hope I can finish War Torn this year. I’ve had the ending planned for two years and I’m finally getting close. Maybe by chapter 30. Maybe.

I have some batfam ideas I want to get started on.

Other than that, I have a One Piece modern AU and an alive!Ace story that are both in the works. I don’t want to publish what I have yet since I already have so many WIPs. Hopefully sometime soon, though.

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read: @mithril-lace, @omggummybear, @dickie-gayson (You know, only if you want to).

Man. This was more introspection than I needed. This was also really long. Thanks for reading :)

#things i was tagged in #tagged memes #writing self-evaluation #camryn rambles

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breakingjen · 7 years

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life update

long time coming eh? stuff has been going on since the last time, which is why i’ve been very sporadic with my blogging because lack of not only physical but mental energy. being an empathetic, emotional, bipolar person is fun (note the sarcasm). without further ado, stuff can be read under the cut.

last time i left off with not knowing what would happen after august 31st, well they prolonged my vocational rehabilitation til october 2nd - which would make it a year in the same workplace. however, my anxiety didn’t really go away because i still didn’t know what would happen or if i’d manage to increase my work hours. about 5 weeks ago a different person than my person from the spes called my ‘boss’ telling him i would need to try increasing my work hours from 4h/day to 6h/day before the meeting scheduled 3 weeks later. so that same day i went from 4h/day to 5h/day and for the rest of that week and the next it kinda worked pretty well, although i was tired as hell and barely managed to do anything after work. now, the week after that (the week prior to the meeting) i had to start trying 6h/day which did not work at all. that wednesday i broke down 3 times at work due to exhaustion and the fact that i was pretty much heading towards depression and the next day after the first breakdown of the day i told my ‘boss’ and my supervisor that it wasn’t working (i was unable to do house chores and other stuff besides work plus my work took longer to do as well - not good signs). so that same day i was told to immediately go back to 5h/day, which i did and then the meeting was the wednesday after that. during that meeting this new person from the spes informed me and my ‘boss’ and my other ‘boss’ (and ceo of the company) about this subsidiary they would get in the event that they decided to employ me and it was decided that that was what was going to happen. the ceo/my boss’ boss and i had our own meeting after in which we went over my employment (incl my pay). so basically after that day it was a done deal, even tho no contract had been signed - that happened two days later. on friday the 29th me and my boss (no apostrophe needed anymore bc he is my boss now) signed my contract and as of tuesday october 3rd i am an employee with actual pay. it feels kinda weird because i haven’t had actual employment in 4 years but i’m so freaking happy that they wanted to keep me at the company and decided to employ me and give me a pretty good pay (after living on subsistence level for so many years my new pay is a huge relief - i don’t have to struggle to pay bills&debts every month now). so happiness is a real feeling i’m having.

now on to something else that’s kept me away from regular blogging...

other than the rollercoaster described above i’ve been extremely worried and upset about my mom. my mother hasn’t been feeling too good for quite a while now, some of her problems i’ve been aware of for months, but others she's been having i didn’t know about until until a couple of weeks ago. three weeks ago she finally went to the doctor because her lymph nodes were swollen, and several places on her hands were as well plus she had pain in most of her body, her thyroid gland was swollen, as well as some other stuff. they drew her blood and stuff and sent a referral for ultrasound of the throat/thyroid gland. the next week she was back at the doctor’s office for reasons i can’t really remember atm, but i know she’d written down a list of all her problems (or symptoms) that she gave to him. and she also told him that her daughters (mostly me, seeing as we’re neighbors and i see her more frequently than my sisters do plus i’d told her that if the doctor didn’t believe her she could call me and i’d talk to him) say that this isn’t her. which is true, she’s not one to complain about her ailments or physical problems (for example, she was having intestinal problems like a decade ago and she very rarely complained about it even tho she later has said that she was in pain everyday during that time) - she’s the kind of person who goes to work even if she’s sick, so this is out of character for her. she got an appointment for the ultrasound, which was tuesday this past week. she called me once it was done and told me that it had revealed a 2cm (that’s centimeter, i have no idea what that would be in inches or whatever) large lump next to the thyroid gland. we don’t know what that lump is yet but to say that we’re not scared/worried right now would be a lie. babysis even broke down in tears when mom told her and she immediately started researching thyroid cancer, sis sent mom a flower delivery for strength (she lives several hours away by car) and is of the opinion that there’s no need to worry really until we know what it is or isn’t, my 3rd sister apparently instantly asked “so you have cancer?” and myself? well, i cried after the call and have researched both thyroid cancer as well as throat cancer and two nights ago i had an honest to god breakdown about the possibility that my mom might have cancer (oh god i really freaking hope not). BUT as i said, we don’t know what it is until they’ve done a biopsy on the lump - which is being done this coming tuesday (oct 10th). although idk how long it’ll take to analyze the sample once they’ve got it. but until then, let’s hope for the best. you’re the first i’ve told about this, i haven’t spoken to anyone else other than mom and my sisters about it and i think it’s beginning to take a toll on me.

one last thing, which is another reason i don’t come on as often/regularly as usual.. i’m feeling pretty low in general this time of year and my doctor took blood samples from me to check the lithium levels (in case we’d need to increase the dose i take every day) and vitamin d levels in my blood - apparently i’m low on vitamin d, so that’s something i’ve gotta start taking on the regular now.

..and the world is a horrible place and it hits me hard to read about it sometimes, especially during what i’ve been telling you about above, so i tend to step away from it for the sake of my own mental health - me being depressed and unable to get out of bed would do no one any good. so sometimes self care in the form of staying away from possible news sources is something i need to do. especially now that i have the responsibility of a job, with people who depend on me to do said job.

/jen xo

ps. sometimes i’ve been online without blogging but instead liked 97.8% of my dash (my likes currently amount to 25.8k posts), so a queue will be set up sometime in the hopefully near future so there’s regular content on this blog even if i’m not here.

#personal #very personal (sort of)#being jen #life update #now gonna go back to my 'forensic files' marathon to continue do distract myself #on season 12 now - only seasons 13 and 14 left after that

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survivetashirojima · 5 years

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Episode #1- “This cast...this cast...this cast.“ -Timmy

who’s ready to get atomic up in this bitch?

okay so, first impressions(Aka First night vibes) Brien- you seem cool JG - KALOKAIRI BUDS Dylan - I have played 2 games with you, what up bud! Stephen - the third of the many Kalokairi Kevin - haven't played with you before, but im excited to Andrew- Heyo, you hosted me, im super excited to your playing style. Jacob- I've been in VL's with you but never played. Timmy- yet another Kalokairi buddy Jay? - you seem really cool. Joanna- I can't wait to play with you Julia- Montenegro gal! please don't vote me out first this time. Madison- i feel like we are going to confused for eachother alot. Pat- I want to get to know you better Tom- I have feelings about you, but I can't tell if they are good or bad yet Veni- BRO you don't know how happy i am to see you Ricky- I have a good feeling about you dude. Kenny- i can't wait to play with you! and to vibe check myself? STRESSED. this twist gave me a panic attack. we are good now. i am already freaking out about keeping my grade up (since i'm already failing a class) and challege is tonight and i have no time to do it. FUCK.

Day 2: still alone lost in the vast wilderness. No civilization in sight... the gods have forsaken me.... someone please send help... wait what is that I see? A camp? PEOPLE???? ITS BEEN SO LONG!!! Jkjk the hosts added the wrong person so I got added in like 2 hours after the actual start which isnt terrible Bc now i can just pretend I’m a pitiful little soul. Also like 1/3of the cast is people I’ve played with before but I haven’t even touched skype in like a year and a half so I have no idea any of them anymore!!! I hope we can all be friends again since from what I can remember, we were all on pretty good terms. My reaction to the “twist” is, it’s amazing. It fits my play style much more. Who needs idols? I rarely ever went to search for one and I was fine? Maybe... oof... also the whole everyone is in one tribe thing is really cool. More the merrier. It’s just really annoying Bc Skype is a pos. Anyways so far so good and I’m loving the people that are in the cast so far. Amazing cast and even more amazing hosts. I love all of them

okay so. first game back since surgery. olivia and lukas, love those bitches, but i was like i'm a working woman now so do you think that my work will interfere too much? and they were like nah, and i was like okay, so naturally, the first (live) challenge starts right in the middle of my shift. and this one tribe thing, wacky. this is gonna be one comeback game (if i get voted out first i am going to get surgery again and then never come back ever) (jk) (...kinda)

I wanna win immunity 😭😭😭

This cast...this cast...this cast. So i know like 90% of these people. I'm currently hosting 4 of them...was hosting 5. It's a very strong cast which is great, but it also means that anyone can go at any time. I'm just gonna talk about them in order of the cast reveal. Brien: I've never spoken to him and have still yet to. He's one of the people in ihos but he's quiet there. Andrew: another ihos person who I haven't spoken to. I've seen him around for years but we've never played a game together. Or at least have never been on the same tribe. Madison: big titty queen. I love her with all my heart and I have no idea what is going to happen with her. She messy but amazing so who knows. She did meet JG and Jacob in person a few weeks ago so they are all close, so i do need to keep an eye out for all of them, even though I am close with them. Ricky: another ihos, and he is friends with Andrew. I doubt he's going to work with me so that is concerning. But it's early so who knows. I'm already getting bored of typing things about everyone. Kevin: no idea, but he seems nice. Madeleine: A true queen and a sweetheart. Julia: no comment. Pat: i've seen him win 2 games that i have played with him. He is quiet but dangerous and I need to watch out for him in time, but for now he will be a good ally. Stephen: king, but does tend to go early. Idk where he will stand this game but we're already in an alliance together. Vi: haven't seen her in over a year, kind person. Dylan: cracked Kenny: no idea Joanna: scary legend who will go hard, but has been very quiet thus far. I wonder who quit right before the start of the game. Jacob: we never talk, but as of now he is who i have been talking to the most and I really do trust him. I am hoping this game is different for us and that we will actually work together. I'm excited to see what happens. Thomas: can't wait for him to strike out JG: King, who also is close with a few people, but i do trust him, but he can be a snake. Jay: It's been a minute since he's played. Not sure how to feel.

I GOT A POINT WOOOHOOOOOOOOO ONLY MISSED THE FIRST HALF OF THIS CHALLENGE

So. Uh. I got -3 points. I’m so talented. It’s okay though. I pretty sure I’ll be voted out first so it doesn’t matter how low of a score I get. I’m just trying to bribe everyone else with cute animal pictures DX even if people hate me, maybe they’ll keep me just for more cute animals.

Update: I lost another 5 points. Let me die already... at this point I don’t even need to piss off everyone else to lose. I’ll probably get like -500 points and automatically get kicked out of the game for being bad

-22 baby. I petition for the hosts to change the chat name from Tashirojima Challenge chat to Challenge chat. What the fuck. I keep reading it as the main chat Bc tashirojima seems like a tribe name. AT THIS RATE MY JEST OF -50 POINTS IS ACTUALLY GONNA COME TRUE!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT ALLIANCES I CANT EVEN FOLLOWRULES LET ALONE FIGURE OUT HOW TO WIN PEOPLE OVER TO MY SIDE ahhhhhHhhhhHhHHHHHH

Night 2 Vibe Check! (Featuring a quite drunk Maddie!) Andrew- haven’t talked to you much, but I want talk to you more! Ricky- you seem cool, we haven’t Talked yet today Tom- smooth Dylan, damn you and your fast phone Kevin- you are a freaking challenge beast! JG- I missed talking with you, I’m glad we are again Stephen- I hope you feel better soon! Jacob- you are good at challenge (This is where I stopped and started the next morning when I was sober) Jay- you’re cool! I like you Julia- imma take you to the end sister. Love you! You make me feel safe In this game Pat- I can’t quite get a read on you yet Vi- I can’t believe they added the wrong person! You are really cool! Love ya! Brien- you are really nice! Timmy- I am super excited that we are playing together again! Joanna- I’m sorry I keep forgetting your here! Kenny- you seem really cool but I need to get to know you better Madison- I don’t think we’ve talked yet, but I want to. And how I’m feeling, well I just lost immunity, so I don’t feel safe, I’m interested to see how this goes, this season is definitely interesting!

Hey out there! Long time no see! To be honest, I don't really have the first idea at what I'm doing. I kinda missed the first day and a half because I was working and then immediately went out with friends, but I think I'm making up for it! I'm starting to chat one-on-one with people, no strategy talk yet though. Which could be real dangerous since I don't have immunity, but there are people that just...haven't talked at all, as far as I can tell at least. Luckily I have a few prior connections in Madison, Joanna, and Andrew. I know Pat and Ricky too but I'm iffy on how they feel about me. I'm pretty sure I ghosted Pat's game earlier this year, SORRY PAT! I got busy and then I felt too embarrassed to show back up D: and I've just never been too sure about if Ricky likes me or not. But other than that I've talked a bit to Madeleine and Vi and I love them both, messy challenge chat icons. I totally missed some messages from Brien, Jacob, and Kevin though, but I've messaged them all back now so hopefully they don't hold that against me. Tribal isn't until tomorrow, so I assume that's when the real scrambling will begin. I just don't know when to jump into alliance talks, I don't want to play too hard too fast. But then I again, I want the chance to play at all.

Idk why Vi was so hard pressed on me not getting immunity. First it seemed like a joke, then they..... were really into it.

Interesting notes from within the first few days: Me/Jacob/JG recently met irl so that's cute Ricky/Andrew I think met a few months ago or something Brien and Pat are both from Philly hmmmm Everyone and their mother works retail in this game so we all suffer together or not at all Day 2 i got an alliance with Jacob and Timmy so that's cute but I'll probably be out first because let's face it I'm a threatening human and i ain't afraid to pull a machete on these kiddos.

Night 3 tea spill!* *has been cancelled due to emotions

So far I’m loling brien, and Vi. Madeline is kind of annoying if I’m honest. BUT we’re all in an alliance. I have a few familiar faces, Jay, Madison, Joanna, so I’m excited to see what happens this season

https://youtu.be/-_5c-vMFG9E

Quick Cast Assessment Time: Brien: we're in ihos spain together and we talk on and off but apparently ricky was like omg look at this ihos crew and brien was like whos andrew so i think thats where we're at rn. might work with him might not who knows Dylan: biiiig dylan fan personally and i know he can be sketch in games so i wanna be on his good side so he doesnt fuck me over right away Jacob: cool dude but ticking time bomb and idk if i can work with him but maybe i can work with him by proxy of ricky.......if he shows even one sign of being a bad ally he's literally out of this game Jay: furry back back back again and him and i usually work well together so im hoping something can come from that JG: i like him personally but hes just one of those people that exudes almost constant sketchiness which idk if thats necessarily his fault lmao and yeah idk i have to keep an eye on him Joanna: nice girl! wanna get to know her better for sure. i neglected to message her up until today when she actually messaged me first so whoops Julia: absolute crackhead who doesnt like me for funsies bc shes a troll but i think more and more people are hopefully seeing her mentally unhinged troll thing as tired lately and i really dont want her to last very long Kenny: i havent talked to him yet but hes a cool dude that i played literally one game with like two years ago so idk maybe we can reconnect Kevin: so i think he probably literally talks to everyone in the exact same fake nice gay man way so i have to be mindful that its prob just not me that hes overly nice to bc i know he can be intense and i know he can be good at these games so hes one im gonna try to keep close but also be willing to cut at any time Maddie: literal love of my fucking life who i want to work with closely in this game bc i know shes loyal and i know she can have my back if she trusts me enough Madison: nnnnnnn i mean i called her stupid in a diary room from bb gilmore over the summer which i think prompted her to leave our reunion chat so not the best start there. also i think her and jacob are up each others asses ever since they met irl so love that for me Pat: i just know hes mildly attractive Ricky: absolute number one ally who i trust with my entire coochie and the goal is to hopefully subtly run this entire game together Stephen: a nice man! we havent played together in a while and we worked together in that one game so maybe we can reconnect maybe idk Timmy: havent had the best personal experiences with him attacking my friends in vls.........idk i just find him annoying lmao is that mean Tom: hopefully going home tonight! Vi: i literally dont know if this is even a real person like i know she got goated in her first main series game for being the actual worst and then we brought her back for seychelles where she was one of the worst players ive ever seen so maybe she'll just disappear one day so i dont have to deal with her

I’m only voting tom cause that’s the only vote I’ve been told. It’s probably wrong but we’ll see

First off: https://drive.google.com/file/d/10IWN3bqYXYdJ232wG5fUhPmnDee8SP2i/view?usp=drivesdk damn thing finally loaded Second: God Vi gets on my nerves. Intentionally. I need to remember to just not talk to her or she’ll manipulate the view point to make me seem bad. She can’t play survivor to save her life but she’s god can she fuck up someone elses game. I look forward to voting her out.

CASUALTIES:

EPISODE 1 CAST ASSESSMENT:

PART 1:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jztyauZhcBY&list=PLB-4yJ0EHce-bxHQVmQVdrV6tx36_6Jly&index=5&t=0s

PART 2:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DjoFbmrLSTc&list=PLB-4yJ0EHce-bxHQVmQVdrV6tx36_6Jly&index=5

#Purrvivor

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aloneandparched · 6 years

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St. Patty's Fiasco ☘

Hello all (aka none bc no one reads these),

I want to post an update on how u celebrated my Irish heritage! 💚

So first of all I am actually a part Irish (maybe 12% but still waiting on genealogy results lol). But anyways, I REALLY wanted to go to a parties all weekend with my friends. However, things started going awry from day 1 (Friday)

Friday

So we all planned to hit up a wicked latino frat party and I was stoked to party with all of my friends especially because one of my close friends brought her best friend from her country to spend time with us. I was lowkey irritated before we even left because no one wanted to figure out the driving situation because we could not all fit into one car. I took the "L" and waited for another friend to pick us up with her bf. Then, we headed to the venue.

When we got there it was PACKED and I loved it and my friends did too. The people in the other car surprised us because they basically had to take one of my friends to the hospital because she literally went unconscious from drinking too much alcohol. I was concerned but I also wanted one of the friends I was with to enjoy a stress-free night so we decided to wait till after the party to tell her. We danced the night away for real!

Saturday

I woke up the next day REFRESHED and ready to party 😎 but my friends did not have the same idea. The hospital thing had everyone upset and unwilling to go out so I just stayed in my room by myself. Some other stuff happened with them being sneaky about my friend's birthday plans but I was just like whatever and let things go.

Sunday (aka D-DAY)

I was DETERMINED to party the whole day but I had to meet with my tutee for over an hour and I couldn't convince anyone to come with me because they were still upset about the hospital incident (supposedly). I had already forgone parties Saturday so I literally made the decision to go by myself. (Semi-big mistakeeee)

So I get there via uber and I pre-gamed in my room because my friend who told me I could come over literally kicked me out .2 sec after I came in (adding to my frustration). I drank tequila and a Mike's Hard and hit the road. But anyways, the party had already been shut down by the police so it was moving locations. Fortunately, I ran into a friend who was willing to give me a ride. She is the type of friend who gives really cold vibes but I just gotta deal with it ya know. The girl she came with was also my friend and both of them rejected going with me because "they had other plans." (I'm really not salty tho 😅) Basically, the friend who is sometimes cold seemed to deliberately not look at me and exclude me from their conversation so I tried to keep my mouth shut. The house was too crowded to dance and they didnt play music outside so it was a MESS.

Let me stress that I have NEVER been in a place with so many [black] bodies and I was LITERALLY squeezing through the crowd. I also kept leaving to pee in a port-a-potty bc I couldn't wait for the restroom (but at least it had toilet paper 🤷🏾‍♀️). My friends were getting smushed away from me and I heard them talking about going to another party and I was tired of intruding so I decided to uber myself out of there and call it a day.

The Uber

So this uber driver was chill at first and we were having a nice conversation but I accidentally type in the wrong address and he offers to drive me to my destination (a pizza joint) anyways thankfully. However, thing go wrong real fast. He starts complimenting me and touching my leg and I'm like I GOTTA GOOOO. So once I get out I don't look back smh. Only creeps hit on me and it's disgusting. I hated that whole ordeal and went to a friend's dorm after the pizza place.

Conclusion

I am really frustrated with MOST of my college friends right now and I plan on distancing myself for sure this week. I need time to process all of the MESS that happened and is still going on within the friend group. I also gotta reconnect with some people who I haven't seen in a hot minute. God, I thank you for the warnings/reminders I witnessed this weekend. Hopefully I'll do the right things to resolve my issues.

Final word

I really hope my tutees don't hold my behavior against me bc I'm just tryna live my best life ya know!!! Anyways, I'm chilling either way.✌🏾

#st patricks day #storytime #rant #personal #update #my life #drama #college life

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