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#hopefully as i continue reading it will all start making more sense
1-800-crscnt · 2 days
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-a few hobby hcs i have for some corries, more under the cut-
Fox: may not have time for it, but likes to collect guns and sometimes customize them to increase their power/strangness. He gives some of them silly names, and doesn’t let anybody touch them unless it’s an emergency. Keeping this hobby is a bit anxiety-inducing, because a lot of the guns he collects are actually illegal to own and use, and with the customizations added on, non-illegal ones tend to become illegal. He also likes solving those giant puzzles that you’re supposed to do with a group of people but alone; unfortunately, he never has the time to actually complete any of them.
Thorn: likes to collect knives that he finds, but does let others use them and borrow them, and in rare cases, keep them. He also loves to study vehicles and learn everything about them, and will talk your ear off about his favorite models of the month. He doesn’t have the credits to, but he would love to start collecting miniature models of speeders and fighters. Imagine every Car Guy shoved into one body, and that’s basically him. Also, likes skating because it’s faster than walking, and makes him feel a little cooler and intimidating, but doesn’t realize he actually appears more approachable.
Stone: loves drawing/painting whenever he can, and keeps a little sketchbook that he gets very shy about showing to others. He tries to draw mainly people, but sometimes likes to draw random animals and plants he sees while off-planet. He also loves reading murder mystery and romance novels. Specifically, he’s listening to novels he’s downloaded while on duty. He’s not shy about the reading, but doesn’t really like talking about the books with just anybody. He likes reading aloud to brothers and asking them questions like a teacher would, though.
Thire: more of a thrill-seeker than usual by clone standards, so he has more risky hobbies, like crashing parties when he’s got free-time, street/sky racing with random people, stealing “probably won’t notice it’s missing for a while” things from people before returning it days later, and skating just like Thorn, but usually without any protection and in dangerous spots. Has gotten in trouble with this multiple times, and even after his promotion, still does it. If he was able, he would love to go surfing.
Hound: likes to run and people-watch a lot. Running feels very natural and it’s easy for him to slip into that trance-like state and just empty his mind of any overwhelming thoughts, which happens a lot since I also hc him to be force sensitive to the smallest degree. People-watching is another source of learning what is and isn’t appropriate/expected of him in a more general sense, and he’s also just a nosy people person, so he genuinely enjoys watching people interact with the world around them (and hopefully, with him).
Jek: won’t admit that it’s something he enjoys, but considers himself a professional gardener in training. Whenever he’s able, he likes to pick flowers and bring them back to Coruscant for his brothers to see, but struggles with keeping them alive for longer than a few days. Stone helps with sending him books about plant-care, but Jek has trouble remembering it all. He is aiming to grow a small patch of berry and rose bushes somewhere close to the Guard HQ, and frequently gets other clones to help him build, find manuals, soil, make a schedule for it, etc. After he’s reassigned, he no longer continues with this hobby, but regrets every plant he doesn’t try to sneak back onto ships.
Rys: is still trying to find hobbies that he likes and sticks to, but tends to find himself fixing things for his brothers and himself after his Rugosa mission. “Things” is very general here, and can range from small scratches on armor, to broken datapads, to broken bones. The commanders are secretly considering him for medic training just in case they ever need him to be an official one, but it’s not likely. He also fixes less physical problems too, like soothing anxieties & conveniently remembering things others forgot, but this isn’t usually on purpose. He once fixed a marriage on accident by convincing the arguing spouses to jump someone who lied and robbed them, something other clones find hilarious. His “fixes” are not always the best solutions.
-Fox also skates, but does it out of wanting to connect more with his brothers and train others to do it. It gets expensive since isn’t essential and covered by the Republic or Kaminoans, so only a handful of clones under Thorn’s command actually get skates. They share them between each other, but of course, they won’t always want to-
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yanderambling · 1 year
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omg i’m thrilled that y’all like him so much!!! and these ideas were soso tasty ugh your minds~ i had a lot of fun with this, maybe too much if you look at the wc lol, so i hope y’all enjoy <3 ALSO continuity note: since Adrian is so popular, i won't carry major events through different stories unless requested, that way everyone can have their own version of his story! but i'll be keeping general facts about Adrian the same unless otherwise specified, like his parents being rich because i find it funny~ thank you and goodnight <3 (and yes i switched this gif with the last part shhhh it’s okay)
pairing: Masochist Puppyboy!Yandere(m) x Bully!Reader(gn)
words: ~ 4.6k
you can read the previous part here!
CW: 18+, NSFW, yandere behavior, stalking, bullying, physical/verbal abuse, BDSM themes, poor BDSM etiquette but neither party minds
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Adrian nearly choked when he heard his name read next to yours for the school project.
It took you a second to recognize his; you mostly just call him mutt. Once you realized, you loudly groaned at the prospect of spending the week with that pest.
Adrian couldn’t hear it over his racing heart.
As soon as class lets out, he's right at your side, yammering on about project materials and meeting arrangements and times and "we should really meet at one of our houses so we don't have to worry about distractions, I'm fine with coming to yours! It's closer to school anyway, right? It'll be more private- I just think it makes sense-"
You finally shut him up by making the executive decision that you’ll work at his house (you don’t need him shedding on your furniture, or potentially getting any personal ammunition against you; he is way too interested in being inside your home, and how does he know it’s closer to school?).
Adrian was crestfallen that he wouldn’t get to go in your house (and smell the pure you imbued in your furniture, and pretend he’s really your dog while you sit together- maybe in your bedroom!-, and snoop through your underwear drawer when you go to the bathroom, and snoop through your bathroom when he goes in right after you...), but he was still over the moon at the idea of having you in his space.
(He’ll just visit your window later tonight like usual, anyway- he'll still get high off that closeness alone. Win/win!)
Adrian doesn't think about anything else for the rest of the day, zoning through his classes and plastered to your side whenever he gets the chance, just alight with energy and anticipation and not shutting up about it- he's lucky there's too many witnesses for you to knock him quiet (oh, but he would feel so much luckier if you did).
You would totally bail on this project if you weren’t already failing this class, which is mostly on account of you bailing. You’re wondering if all those cut classes were worth having to work with this, but you’re not feeling hopeful.
The day seems to drag on forever for both of you, for vastly different reasons. By the time school lets out, Adrian is buzzing out of his skin and you're seconds away from ripping it off him.
As you two start the trek to his place, Adrian can't get over how surreal it feels to walk beside you. It's like you two are a couple, and you're walking him home for an after school study date!
He gets lost in the daydream easily, giving you a brief reprieve from his energy, and allowing you to absently notice his rapidly wagging tail almost propelling him down the sidewalk. You can't help but smirk a little at the image that conjures in your mind.
He's truly ridiculous, you can't really believe him sometimes. Doesn't that thing ever get tired? What does he think is gonna happen that's got him so damn excited? That he's gonna get in good with you somehow (hopefully) and you'll leave him alone? (never in his wildest dreams.)
Yeah, fat chance.
When Adrian stops at his house, you think he's joking. But then he walks right up the driveway of this random McMansion, motioning you along eagerly, and enters a security code before holding the door open for you with a clearly anticipatory smile.
...The fuck.
You did not count on Adrian’s family being loaded. He certainly doesn't dress or groom like it.
You consider berating him for not mentioning it, but decide against it for the risk of seeming stupid- to Adrian of all people. You do make a mental note for your future errand requests, though.
Adrian’s parents aren’t home, he tells you his mom is always traveling and his dad basically lives at his office. You’re relieved that you won’t have to put on a nice face for the folks, but there’s apparently still a live-in housekeeper that floats around (are you fucking kidding?) so you stay diligent.
Adrian suggests you two work in his room; you figure the further from watchful eyes, the better.
Despite it being his idea, Adrian can't help his giddy nervousness as you enter his room (he’d texted the housekeeper to make sure it was clean as soon as you decided to come over, lucky he keeps his souvenirs hidden away whenever he’s not admiring them).
The room is frankly ridiculous, easily twice the size of yours, a king bed in the corner, a desk and coffee table and two dressers, and yet adorned with piles of clothes and clutter and more genres of nerdy shit than you even knew existed.
"Yeah, okay, parts of this make sense."
Adrian cocks his head, opening his mouth to ask what you mean, when he suddenly chokes on air.
You've made a bee-line right to his desk, covered in books and papers for hobbies and school alike, but also holding a locked drawer at the very bottom in which he keeps his "school collection" (just discarded pencils with bitten erasers, torn up notebook paper he can still smell your hands on, old gym shorts you were probably gonna replace soon anyway, a bandaid here, a plastic fork there; nothing crazy).
He watches with bated breath as you sift through the contents of his desk, occasionally scoffing or chuckling at what you find. He lets out a sigh when you seem to grow bored, just for you to move on to his dresser and have his stomach doing somersaults all over again.
Maybe he should've asked the housekeeper to hide his stuff better and just braved the questions later...
You move throughout the room like you own it (you do, as far as the both of you are concerned), making little jabs at his various posters and figurines which make his whole body flush hot with pleasure because you're noticing things about him, but every other move you make sends his heart jumping into his throat in a completely different way.
It only takes a minute or two for the stress to get to him.
“Ah- hey! Uh, maybe we should- maybe we should start on the project, right?”
You bark a laugh and spin on your heel to face him, an incredulous half-grin pulling your lips and revealing a gut-twisting flash of teeth.
"We?"
Oh, yeah, he much prefers those intense eyes boring into him.
He starts spluttering placations immediately. "No! Well, uhm, I didn't mean- you, you don't- have to- obviously, I mean, I don't- I wouldn't-"
You roll your eyes and shove past him, effectively cutting him off as you flop down onto his abominably soft mattress. "Right, yeah, whatever. Let's get one thing straight here, okay?"
Adrian nods, his whole being drawn to focus at your entrancingly commanding tone. Although, it's incredibly hard to focus on anything with the sight of you on his bed right in front of him; he's already planning how to avoid that area so it'll retain your scent longer, he wonders if he could cut that part of the duvet out and keep it in an airtight container, maybe the sheets under it too just to be safe...
"This is not a "we" situation, got it? I'm not lifting a damn finger for this bullshit, that's what you're there for." Adrian has a purpose to you! "I am only here to make sure you're actually doing it, which shouldn't be a problem because if we get anything less than an A, it's gonna be your ass."
As tempting as it is to see what punishment you would inflict upon him, Adrian really really really wants to please you- and he's pretty good at this subject anyway!
You then cross your arms and lean back just enough to look down your nose at him. "Got it?"
Adrian can't answer fast enough.
"Yes! Yes, that's perfect! Awesome, good- great!"
But then he doesn’t make a move. Ha.
He looks a little lost, standing in the middle of his own room, barely biting down a grin and wringing his hands as he seems to wait for another command.
Apparently, you’ve trained him well.
You scoff and let yourself fall onto your back as you pull out your phone (Adrian's gonna need a bigger airtight container).
"Well, go on then, we don't have all day."
Adrian scrambles to get to work. He quickly positions himself on the floor by the foot of the bed and pulls the coffee table closer, emptying his school bag carelessly onto the carpet.
You huff a laugh at the sight, all this money and the kid's parents couldn't buy him any class. Maybe sloppiness is an inherent trait, like his apparent passion for service- nobody with this much money should be such a pushover. And yet...
Adrian couldn’t be happier, sitting on the floor while you lounge across his bed and periodically weigh in with (mostly incorrect) corrections or snide remarks, an almost alarmingly wide grin settled on his face as his tail taps a steady rhythm against his carpet.
It’s not an unpleasant picture, you muse absently as you look up from your phone, it’s almost comforting to have your little puppy on the floor, cheerily working away for you while you laze about. It certainly beats doing the work yourself, or having to threaten a student with an actual spine to do it for you.
Still, it doesn't take long for you to get bored. Bored enough to notice your empty stomach, at least.
"I'm hungry."
Adrian's head shoots up from the book he was hunched over, ears raised at attention and eyes glittering with something you're not sure you care to identify.
He's on his feet in the next second, knocking his knees on the way up loud enough to startle you yet showing no signs of even noticing.
"I-I'll ask Len to make something!"
He darts out of the room before you can tell him what you want, but you trust he knows your moods and tastes well enough by this point to predict. (Oh, he does, and Len's not going to be making anything- they don't know all the special ingredients!)
The second he leaves, you decide to really cure your boredom by snooping around in earnest. Certainly this creep has something actually weird hidden in here, you just have to look in the right places.
You waste no time in sifting through his bookshelf (nerd shit), closet (nerd clothes, some dirty), a dresser (nerd clothes, mostly clean), under his bed (dirty clothes, nerd shit in boxes)- the door opens behind you.
“Wha-? Oh! Ah- Wh-what- what are you doing?”
You don’t even bother moving from your crouch, most of your upper body shoved under the bedstand while the rest of you... is not.
Adrian’s mouth is completely dry for several reasons.
“What’re you, blind? I’m snooping.”
Adrian slowly comes further into the room, hesitantly setting the serving tray on the low table. He can’t stop his voice from cracking as he stutters out,
“Uh- yeah, okay, yeah, but- um, would you maybe mind- um, not?”
You snicker, at least he has some manners. “Yeah, I do mind, actually. What’s the matter, mutt? Got something to hide?”
“N-no!”
The answer is so immediate, so fervent, that it has you pulling up just to give him an unimpressed look. He stares back at you, eyes wide and frenzied.
“Jesus you’re a bad liar.”
Looking at him now, you can see sweat glistening on his face and his hands clenching by his side. His eyes dart toward the dresser you haven't checked yet.
Bingo.
You jump up from your position and stride across the room with purpose. You only make it a few steps before Adrian seems to materialize in front of you, making you stop short and almost yelp from shock.
“S-sorry! I’m sorry, I just-" he's waving his hands wildly, head ducked as his gaze rapidly flicks between your face and the floor, "You-you can’t- please, please don’t-”
“Okay, creep, I get the gist.”
You shove past him, and he wishes he could relish the firm pressure of your hands on him.
He whirls around and watches in horror as you approach the dresser. He needs to do something, he needs to stop you, but what can he do? You’ve clearly made up your mind, it’s not like it's his place to try and change it...
All he can do is watch, a high ringing in his ears and his body filling with static, while you meticulously sift through every drawer until his clothes are strewn about the floor and you're panting with frustration.
He's about to let himself take a breath when you suddenly squat down and stick your arm into the shallow space underneath. He nearly swallows his tongue when you let out a disbelieving huff and awkwardly slide out a long lockbox.
You look up at him triumphantly, eyes sparkling with glee, and he almost mirrors your smile just for how captivating it is.
"Open it."
"N-no-"
You lean up toward him and cock your head, he has to stop himself from being drawn in by the magnetism of your narrowed eyes. “The fuck did you just say to me?"
"I'm sorry! I didn't- just, I can't-"
"Oh, I think you can. Or you're not gonna like what happens next."
That's where you're wrong, and it only really strengthens Adrian's extremely shaky resolve. He tries to keep the grin off his face as he habitually starts to picture the punishment you might give him; a cuff on the ears, a knee to the stomach, a punch in the face-
But you just roll your eyes and groan, no longer in the mood now that something more interesting has presented itself.
Instead, your gaze floats down to the flimsy looking combination lock on the box, then it fixes on some heavy-standed figurine you'd knocked off his bookshelf earlier.
Yeah, good enough.
Adrian barely has time to flinch before you're snatching it up and breaking the lock with a sound crack.
Then you're lifting the lid.
"No!"
He starts to lunge forward, but your sharply raised hand halts him dead in his tracks.
Fuck.
It's too late anyway, judging by your wide eyes and slightly slack jaw (god how he wishes he could focus on the glorious curve of your open lips, or the way your perfect teeth peek over them, or how it might feel to have those teeth sunk into his skin-)
"What. The. Fuck."
"I-I can explain- It's not-!"
"I literally do not believe that you can."
Adrian's throat goes dry, he feels tears welling in his eyes. "I'm sorry- I'm sorry! I never meant- it's not like-"
You tune Adrian out as you focus on the stacks and stacks of photos arranged in the box before you. There even seem to be books underneath those, thick ones despite the shallowness of the container. You’d say there’s easily hundreds of pictures in here.
But, more concerning than the amount of photos… is their content.
They’re all you.
Undeniable, from every angle and range and setting you could imagine, it’s all you. There’s you at your spot with your friends, sitting in class, in the cafeteria, running errands in town, sneaking off to that private spot nobody else is supposed to know about, asleep in your bed- in dozens and dozens of iterations, like you could probably make a flip book of every scene.
It’s offensively redundant, honestly, a gross waste of paper. Maybe equally as concerning.
(Adrian needs to keep physical copies, and hard drives, and backup hard drives, and another box further under the dresser... What if something happens to his phone? What if he lost all his treasured photos forever? He doesn’t know what he’d do.)
"You're a bigger creep than I gave you credit for." You murmur, mostly to yourself.
Adrian never thought he'd feel anything but sheer joy from hearing that word leave your mouth. "N-no! It's not- it's not like that! I'm not- I don't-"
While Adrian's still blustering and working himself into a tizzy, you're just... processing.
It's oddly unsurprising, once you consider all the other factors together. Looking at it now, of course Adrian had more perverted reasons for complying to your cruelty, what else could he have been getting out of it? You guess you kinda always knew, on some level, but you never thought it would be like this.
But, since it is, you can't help but wonder just how far this perversion has gone, how far it will go...
This night has been boring enough that you're entitled to a little fun, right?
And besides, looking at him now- all wide eyed and droopy eared, his tail pulled between his legs and clutched in his trembling hands- Adrian actually looks a little bit... cute? In a pathetic, dirty stray caught in the rain type of way, of course.
The only real difference is that you'd be much kinder to the stray.
"Alright, shut it, stalker."
Adrian's mouth snaps closed, his tail trying to tuck further at your dangerously low voice.
"Obviously, this severe-" you flap a stack of photos at him, causing him to duck his head and whimper, "-invasion of my privacy can't go unpunished."
Adrian's eyes become impossibly bigger as they flash up to watch you stand. His ears suddenly perk, his tail tugs against his grip as it tries to hesitantly wag.
Jesus, he's shameless.
This is gonna be fun.
But first, a plan. You don't want Adrian getting too bold, so what better way to keep him in his place than by tying him there? Looking around his room, you don't have much to work with, but you're resourceful; a lace from his sneakers should do just fine (who keeps shoes in their room? what a creep).
"Alright. Sit."
Adrian is falling to his knees before his brain can process the words. When it does, he isn't quick enough to bite down on the high keen that builds in his throat.
You scoff, mentally scorning yourself for ignoring his shit for so long, then go to pull a lace. Adrian watches in rapt attention as you test its strength, your hands flexing so tantalizingly as you pull the string harshly several times over.
He holds his breath on instinct when your scrutinizing glare scans the room again.
"Okay, bed. Back to the headboard. Now."
Adrian scrambles up immediately, pulling some of the sheets off in his hurry, eager to obey before you change your mind.
You follow right after, kneeling up and leaning over him to tie his hands to the headboard above him. His dry throat click as he gulps.
You're so close, your heavenly scent filling his lungs like a sweet paralyzing vapor, he can feel the heat radiating from your skin despite the clothes between you, he could probably taste you if he just stuck out his tongue...
He whines as you yank the shoelace tight with a grunt before tying it off. You tug on his hands once more, forcing the string deeper into his skin, and your hum of satisfaction is drowned out by Adrian's low groan.
What a wonderful feeling, the sharp sting of the lace grounding him down like he needs to be; he can't help twisting and pulling until the burn intensifies, imagining it's your firm hands holding him so tightly...
"Jesus, freak, you're already getting into it?"
Adrian just whimpers, barely registering the question past your condescending tone as he continues to squirm.
You suddenly grab the front of his shirt and pull him forward until he's partially hovering off the mattress, the combined pressure of your knuckles under his chin and the shoestring grating his tender wrists pulls a breathy moan along with.
You lean in close, practically growling as you say, "Don't do my job for me, mutt."
You press a relatively fresh bruise on his arm just to see him twitch and bite his lip (it’s actually from a week ago, that’s how good he is at maintaining your marks for you!). It is pretty gratifying.
Almost as gratifying as the bulge you spot between his wantonly spread legs.
A breathless laugh punches out of you. It's oddly jarring to see, and you would later deny that it's slightly impressive, but it's not an entirely unpleasant sight.
"God, you're fucking pathetic. But you know that, don't you, you little creep?"
If your words weren't enough to have Adrian shaking out of his skin, you lean closer and nip his ear; he jerks back instinctively at the pain, which only makes its sting so much sweeter when you sink your teeth in and pull back.
He doesn’t bother trying to keep himself quiet.
“This isn’t even a punishment for you, is it? Is it, you fucking perv?”
Adrian is so far beyond saving face, he’s mostly beyond communication of any kind, so he just shakes his head fervently and grunts and hopes it’s good enough.
“Use your words, mutt.”
He gasps as you yank his throbbing ear, pulling his face closer to yours- oh dear god he can feel your hot breath against his cheeks, every detail of your perfect face so confident and dangerous and ethereal, your sparkling eyes look positively deadly and Adrian is ready to submit himself to their perils-
“Answer me," your sharp words make his lashes flutter, but he keeps his eyes wide open to stare at your taunting smile hanging just inches from his face, "are you getting off on this?”
He nods, he’s starting to get dizzy with all this nodding but he doesn't feel capable of much else, then you tug his hair back with the most glorious burn-
“Ah-Yes! Yes, I love- I love it, please- give me- more- please, I need- I need-“
He cuts off with a choked sound as your fingers slide up his throat and tighten, all too happy to oblige.
"That what you want? You happy now?" You taunt, your breath against the shell of his ear raising goosebumps all over his body.
He tries to nod against your grip, causing you to smirk and push further.
Oh god yes please-
Garbled moans fight their way from his throat as his eyes roll back in ecstasy, his straddled legs pressing tightly together as he thrashes desperately against the headboard, his whole body trembling and pushing up and up in search of contact- but you keep pulling away, putting more pressure on his neck to support yourself, bringing out the most pitiful little whimpers.
"Use your words, puppy."
Puppy.
Adrian chokes for reasons entirely unrelated to your hand on his neck. His tail, which had been beating a rapid tempo since you sat him down, starts flailing into overdrive.
It takes considerably more effort, but Adrian needs to please you- maybe you’ll even reward him!- so he coughs and gasps until he can force out,
"Y-Yes,” a strained cough, “Tha-agh-thank- you-"
A smile curls your lips unbidden. Such initiative! You let your fingers stroke over his throat as your hand presses in harder.
"There, that's a good boy."
Adrian's vision whites out.
He’s not even aware of the stream of whines and moans that force their way from beneath your fingers, he doesn't notice how his body squirms against the pressure of you on top of him, he couldn't tell the frantic thumping of his tail from that of his heart- all he can focus on is the red hot ecstasy filling every inch of him to bursting, the transcendent bliss of being so thoroughly claimed, so completely controlled, so wholly owned by you.
He's still hiccupping moans and thumping his tail when you withdraw your hand for fear of suffocating him, these needy little noises escaping his already bruising throat.
His head lolls back and his mouth falls open as you remain suspended above him, taking in your handiwork.
He’s so vulnerable, his entire body open and happily exposed to you, every muscle trembling in the aftershocks. His chest heaves as sweat and tears drip down onto his shirt, but he seems to pay no mind as his vacant eyes flutter up at you. He struggles to keep them open as a dopey grin spreads across his bitten lips, and you have to bite your own to stop from returning it.
Then, your eyes travel down to the steadily shrinking tent of his pants, now adorned with a dark wet stain- just like you expected.
Hot.
"Pathetic."
You sit back on you heels, seemingly alerting Adrian to your absence as his hand flies up to grab his throat with a high whine- but you cut that shit off right away.
"Yeah, no, I'm not trying to catch a murder charge tonight, thanks. Besides," your eyes pointedly flick down between his spread legs, causing his face to heat up though he makes no move to close them, "it looks like you got more than your share- frankly, you should be grateful for anything I'm willing to give you."
Adrian's voice is hoarse when he tries to insist, "I am! I-" he cuts off with a heavy cough, which only has you wincing with guilt a little. "I'm- I'm grateful. I am!"
You don't doubt it, especially looking into those watery, red-rimmed puppydog eyes of his. However, you do like to be cruel, and you did just get a bunch of texts from some of your friends about this 'super crazy thing you don't wanna miss and you gotta get down here right now!', (and you're maybe feeling a little uncharacteristically giddy as you fully process your situation) so...
"Doesn't matter, I can't reward this insolence."
You untie the shoelace with a deft tug and slide off the bed without another word.
Adrian just barely stops himself from whining again, the sudden loss of the pressure around his wrists leaving him feeling untethered. He has to dig his nails into his hands as he watches you collect your things (the covered platter lay forgotten on the table, insult to injury), just to keep from reaching out for you.
He wants desperately to follow you, but he can't make his body move for how relaxed and heavy it feels, and he knows it would probably just upset you more anyway- and not in the good way.
“Oh, and Adrian?” You slap the doorframe as you hang off of it, and your use of his name has Adrian's groggy head springing up to face you instantly, ears high and eyes hopeful.
“Next time you want a picture of me, just ask. That way I can knock some sense into you right away.” You tap the frame again, a crooked grin fixing your lips before you push off.
“See ya tomorrow!”
Still too fuzzy to move, and in fresh shock from that almost-genuine smile, he can only listen forlornly as your steps grow fainter and fainter until the door shuts downstairs. Then, he's helpless to do anything beyond replay the events of the past ten minutes in obsessive detail in attempts to permanently document every single sensation you gave to him.
He only manages to move about a half hour later, when his phone buzzes with a text.
He slowly leans over the bed and lifts his phone from the floor, blinking blearily as he reads... your name. Attached to a ludicrously extravagant lunch order for tomorrow.
The phone drops from his fingers like lead.
How?
His heart starts racing as he wracks his brain to recall when you put his number in your phone- then, his tail starts up again as he wonders if he'll be punished for already having yours in his (not for anything weird! he just likes to type out walls of text complimenting every part of you and telling you exactly the ways he wants you to destroy him and then deleting them- but maybe he'll send the next one).
It must mean something good if you want to keep in close contact with him, right? That must mean you aren't really mad at him, right? That must mean you like him, right? You still think he’s a good boy, right?
Another text lights up his phone. He scrambles to grab it back, hands shaking as he holds the screen close to his face.
[ur gnna b my bitch 4evr now]
A shaky giggle escapes him.
Those are easily the most beautiful words he’s ever read.
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thanks so much for reading! feel free to send a request <3
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cressidagrey · 18 days
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Looked to the Sky - Chapter 18
Summary: 
Eira Archeron was neither a Valkyrie, nor a Seer, nor the High Lady of the Night Court. She was, however, Azriel‘s mate with her own mysterious, untrained powers.
Also known as: Azriel tries to court his mate the human way.
Warnings: 
THIS IS THE LIGHTNING IN A BOTTLE SEQUEL! SO READ THAT FIRST IF YOU WANNA READ THIS ONE OTHERWISE THIS MAKES NO SENSE!
Amren Bashing, Low Self Esteem and without @k-godling this would have never happened.
(super pretty dividers by @tsunami-of-tears)
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The first time Azriel heard Eira play the harp...was Winter Solstice Eve. She had moved the instruments into one corner of the Living Room and was contently plucking the strings, Nyx on her lap.
Azriel watched from where he stood in the doorway as his mate strummed the harp, the sweet, lovely sounds filling the room. She gently bounced Nyx to the sound of the harp's music, Nyx's head bobbing with each movement.
Nyx was having the time of his life if his bright grin was anything to go by.
Azriel smiled gently as he watched the scene. Eira looked so...so happy, content, sitting there and playing her harp with Nyx on her lap. They were both grinning like fools, and Azriel's smile widened when Eira's gaze flicked up and landed on him.
"Happy Solstice Eve," his mate said softly, continuing the song, the last few notes ringing out in the room. It was decorated with pine garlands and dark ribbons, with little twinkling fae lights in the decorations.
He chuckled at her soft murmur, striding over to them, his gaze flickering across the living room as he moved, taking note of the way Eira had decorated the room. He knew it had been her because he had spent an evening a few days ago helping her string up the pine garlands and tying the bows she had made onto them. 
"And a very Happy Solstice Eve to you as well, my love," he replied, resting a hand on her shoulder to give it a light squeeze as he leaned down to press a kiss to her cheek. "And you, Nyxie-" he added, grinning at his nephew.
Nyx giggled gleefully at him, reaching out for him with a babble that vaguely seemed to be an attempt at a greeting.
Azriel gently plucked him from Eira's grasp and tossed him into the air in a move that was a little more reckless than usual, catching the babe again a moment later and pressing a kiss to his cheek.
"I am surprised you aren't in the kitchen baking," he told Eira, who smiled as she watched him and Nyx play.
"Feyre told me to relax," she answered with a sigh. "I am not allowed to enter the kitchen on threat of no presents."
"Well, I suppose we'll have no cake this year..." he muttered with mock disappointment, bouncing Nyx a little in his arms and eliciting a giggle from his nephew.
Eira just snorted. "Have some trust in me, love. I made cookies days ago."
"Oh, did you?" he inquired, bouncing Nyx in one arm. "And where in the house did you hide these baked goods, Sweetheart?"
"Far from Cassian, hopefully," she muttered under her breath. "I have the shadows protecting them."
Azriel chuckled, the sound low and soft. "A wise choice," he agreed. "Or else Cassian would've devoured them all in five minutes."
Nyx giggled then, seemingly finding the conversation funny, and Azriel bounced him in his arms again, pressing another kiss to the baby's cheek.
"Yes, yes, Nyxie, this is all very amusing," he said with a grin, resting the baby on his hip as he glanced down at his mate, still sat by the harp. "Can you play another song, Eira?"
Eira smiled at him, a bright blush sweeping across her cheeks. "Of course," she answered, picking up the harp again, her fingers shifting to a different position on the strings.
Her fingers started to move across the harp's strings, and another sweet, lilting tune filled the room, a smile on his mate's face as she played.
Azriel listened silently, his gaze shifting between Eira - who was still blushing adorably - and Nyx, who was watching her play with wide, fascinated eyes. The baby's head lolled and bobbed to the beat of the music, his eyes tracking his aunt's fingers as they shifted across the harp's strings.
The rest of their family decided to trickle in slowly, even Varian and Amren deciding to show up.
Nyx squirmed in Azriel's arms as people began to fill the room, giggling eagerly and watching the guests with excited little squeaks and babbles.
Eira continued playing softly, nearly absentmindedly, smiling at Nesta as her sister found a seat next to her.
"Only three more days," Nesta murmured and Eira gave her a happy little grin.
"Three more days," she agreed, her excitement apparent in her voice.
Azriel heard her words, and they sent a small jolt of something - anticipation, he realised - through his chest. Three more days...
Nesta caught his eye, raising a brow meaningfully with a smirk on her face that he ignored.
"That does sound better than your screeching," Amren said suddenly and Eira's hands froze. A growl rose up in his throat. He opened his mouth to respond, but Eira was quicker than him. 
"I'd like to see you play the harp, Amren." she sniped, and oh by the stars above, the sharpness and the snark in his normally sweet mate's voice was so different, but in a...good way. It was unexpected, but he liked it more than he expected.
"Touchy," Amren answered, but it seemed more like a remark than a real complaint. She had a strangely...amused expression on her face that even Azriel could not interpret, but the look only lasted for a moment before it disappeared again.  "You gained some claws," Amren complimented.
"Amren," Rhys said in a warning tone.
"What?" Amren asked, turning to him with feigned innocence in her eyes.
Rhys just rolled his eyes, shaking his head and muttering something that sounded suspiciously like unbelievable.
"Are you done now, Amren?" Eira asked, her voice icy. "I am still waiting on an apology for last time."
"Whatever for?" Amren said with a scoff. Azriel felt the growl in his throat grow louder.
"Oh, I don't know," Eira said in a mock-thoughtful tone. "Maybe for the fact that you called me a waste? That you wanted to turn me into a weapon? Maybe for that? Maybe for upsetting me so much that I winnowed straight into Illyria and burned down a forest?!"
"I didn't say it because I disliked you," Amren said with a huff. "You're so damn...soft. Vulnerable, even.  And you have unimaginable power at your fingertips. Not using it is a waste."
A low snarl rose up in Azriel's throat, and he was considering going over there to tear the silver-eyed menace limb from limb.
Eira's hands stilled on her harp, her expression growing cold. Her eyes were like ice, glimmering with suppressed anger as she said, "Then it's a good thing your opinion of me means so little."
A smirk appeared on Amren's face. "You used to fear me," she purred. "You used to run when you saw me coming. But now...now you're a little bit more confident, are you?"
"I have more to fight for, to live for," Eira said coldly.
"Oh, yes." Amren's smirk widened. "I was wondering when you'd..."
That's how far she came. A moment later, lightning crackled in the palm of Eira's hand
"Finish that sentence, Amren." Eira hissed, and the lightning in her hand crackled and glowed, shining like silver in the light of the room.
The look on Amren's face suddenly changed as she stared, almost dumbstruck, at the lightning in Eira's hand. She was, for the first time since Azriel knew her, shocked into silence
Rhys' eyebrows rose as he took in the situation. On one hand, Feyre was giggling into Rhys' shoulder at the sight of Eira holding lightning. On the other...well, Azriel would not stand for anyone disrespecting his mate. Not when they were already pushing her this far.
A glance around the room showed that Feyre and Cassian were thoroughly interested in the scene in front of them. Nesta was watching Eira with something akin to awe, and Mor was leaning against a bookshelf with a slightly amused smile on her face.
Azriel turned his gaze back to his still-fuming mate and the shocked, nearly apprehensive Amren, the baby on his hip still babbling and giggling happily, blissfully oblivious to the scene in front of him.
"My, my, you are feisty today," Amren breathed, her composure back in place with an almost forced casualness.
"And you're far more annoying than usual today," Eira retorted.
The tension in the room was so thick, that Azriel was half-convinced that you could've reached out a hand and physically touched it.
"You have grown bold," Amren said conversationally, seemingly unbothered by the lightning Eira was still holding.
But Azriel could see the flicker of something in her eyes. Something...not quite fear, but similar. She was slightly nervous in the face of Eira's unexpected anger.
"Amren, that's enough," Feyre cut in.
Feyre's voice echoed through the room, stern and commanding. Amren's head whirled around to peer at her as Feyre stared back with a firm gaze of her own.
"No more," she said firmly, her eyes flickering between Amren and Eira.
"I just wanted a peek at her power."
Azriel's eyes darkened. Eira clenched her hand into a fist, the lightning in her hand vanishing as she muttered angrily, "Next time, I won't just give you a peek."
Amren huffed. "Are you threatening me?"
Azriel growled, low and sharp, handing Nyx to Nesta. "She isn't. I am," Azriel snapped. "Either you treat my mate with respect or we will be having a very different sort of conversation."
Amren looked up at him, a flicker of surprise in her silver eyes. It was gone the next moment, but she wisely made the choice to not say anything.
Meanwhile, Eira was still bristling, tension written across her face as she took a deep breath, clearly trying to calm herself.
"I apologise," Amren said stiffly.
Eira's eyebrows rose, startled by Amren's unexpected apology.
A tense silence followed, but it broke a moment later when Azriel said, "That is something you don't hear often, Amren."
Amren shot him a glare, but there was no real malice behind it.
A huff of agreement came from Rhys, and Feyre muttered something that sounded suspiciously like not going to get used to this.
For once, Azriel thought he had to agree with his friend. Amren actually apologising, especially to someone like Eira... He doubted they'd see that sight ever again.
It was something that much was certain.
Cassian suddenly let out a snicker, and they all turned to look at him.
"What?" he asked, grinning in their direction. "That Lightning is badass!"
Feyre chuckled as well, but it quickly turned into laughter as other people chimed in. Even Varian gave an amused chuckle that sounded surprisingly sincere coming from him.
Eira's cheeks turned a little red, as they always did when attention was focused on her.
She glanced up at him, a mixture of embarrassment and something like pleasure at the little caress, and he had to bite back a smile.
His mate, still so shy when confronted with praise or attention.
Azriel kept his gaze on her for a while longer, and his smile widened a little when she let out a shaky sigh.
Her curls were as beautiful as always, and she was dressed in a gown, silver threading winding across the dark velvet of the skirt. On every other female, the dress would've simply been pretty. On Eira, it was breathtaking.
Ours, whispered the shadows, and Azriel had to agree.
She was his in every way- his mate, his partner, his family. He wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.
"Can I...May I give you your present already? I think you can use it tomorrow," she asked him softly as the evening came to a close.
Azriel turned his attention back to her, hearing the quiet but excited tone in her voice. She truly was too sweet.
"Of course," he answered with a soft smile. "But what is it?"
Eira just gave him a smile, her eyes sparkling with excitement, and his heart started beating a little faster in anticipation. He'd never seen her this...eager about anything before.
"Something I hope you'll enjoy," she said mysteriously, standing up and grabbing his hand, tugging him to his feet. "But you have to come with me."
She led him up to her room, which was halfway packed up, most of her things already up at the House that she had christened Bluebell Cottage.
Azriel glanced around the room, a flicker of sadness going through him at the sight of the already half-emptied room.
But he had to admit, there was a strange sense of... anticipation in his chest. 
The package was soft and wrapped in red wrapping paper. Azriel took the package from her, his eyebrows rising as he felt how soft it was.
"What's in it?" he asked with a hint of curiosity and excitement.
"Unwrap it," she answered.
He let out a little hum, carefully working to open the wrapping without tearing it too much. He could feel Eira's excitement rising as he slowly worked his way through the wrapping, and his curiosity grew as well.
He could hear a few amused chuckles from the shadows, as some of them seemed to know what was in the wrapping.
A moment later, there was a pair of buttery soft, black leather gloves in his hands. He could only stare at them for a moment.
"Your hands start to hurt you more when it gets cold outside," Eira explained quietly. "I lined them with the offcuts from the second pelt you gave me. And I had them enchanted so that they were water resistant."
Azriel stared, shocked and silent, as he held the gloves in his hands. He could tell without even putting them on that they would be perfect- not just for the cold, but also fit snugly around his scarred fingers like they'd been made for him.
He could feel Eira's nerves increasing as he stared at her in shocked disbelief, almost like she was worried about his reaction.
It was an absolutely... perfect gift, and he knew that he could never ever repay her for this. That, for once, he didn't know what to say.
He had never had someone... think about him like this, someone who'd even care about something like the scars on his hands.
"Was that alright?" she asked worriedly.
"You made them for me," he said weakly, not a question.
Eira's eyes widened a little, and he realised that she thought that he was upset.
"Of course it's alright," he said quickly, staring down at the gloves in his hands.
His mate, his perfect kind and sweet and caring mate... He couldn't comprehend how lucky he was to have found her.
But Eira didn't look entirely sure, her anxious expression still on her face as she asked, "Do... do you like them?"
He tore his gaze away from the gloves and looked up at her.
"Like them?" he repeated, his voice soft and slightly awed. "Eira, they're perfect."
The anxiety on Eira's face vanished at his words, replaced with an adorable mixture of relief and excitement.
"You do?" she said, her voice eager and her eyes sparkling as she watched him hold the gloves in his hands.
Azriel just nodded, gently setting the gloves down on her still-untouched bed. He had to fight back the urge to take her into his arms right there and then.
"What did you make out of the rest?" he asked her. She looked at him with wide eyes. “You made the shrug for yourself. You made me the gloves. What else did you make?”
Eira gave him a slow smile.
"You'll see," she said quietly. "Hopefully soon. And now I expect you to win that Snowball Fight tomorrow.“
Azriel raised an eyebrow, both at the change of topic and at the implication of winning that Snowball Fight.
"And what will I get if I win?" he asked, a smirk slowly spreading across his face.
Eira took on a thoughtful expression as if she was actually thinking about his question.
"I don't know," she said slowly, looking like she was considering the idea. "What do you want from me if you win?"
Azriel shrugged casually, trying to ignore the eager, almost greedy shadows.
“A Kiss.”
***
Her sister's birthday dawned bright early, mostly because Eira was already in the kitchen by dawn. It did mean that she got to kiss Azriel goodbye though, before he, Rhys and Cassian disappeared to their annual Snowball Fight...and she got to finish the finishing touches on Feyre's birthday cake.
It was a beautiful morning, one of those days that just seemed perfect, and Eira hummed to herself cheerfully as she finished decorating Feyre's birthday cake.
Despite the fact that her sister was a literal High Lady, she had insisted that her birthday be a quiet affair, no huge celebration or party, just the inner circle and the family.
"Do you...need help?" Nesta's voice came from the doorway.
Eira paused in her decorating, glancing up to find Nesta standing in the doorway.
"I wouldn't say no to the help," she answered with a smile, waving her sister over.
Nesta came over to the counter, silently watching as Eira finished the last touches on the cake.
"It looks good," Nesta said admiringly, studying the cake's smooth dark chocolate surface and the bright silver icing.
"I did stars this year," she said brightly.
"So I see," Nesta said, studying the various silver stars that had been carefully piped onto the cake's surface.
"I think I might've made it a bit too plain, though," Eira said as she looked it over. "I should've added a few more,."
"It looks good as it is," Nesta said, her expression slightly bewildered at the sight of her younger sister worrying over cake decorations. "Feyre will love it, believe me."
"Right," Eira said, taking a step back and studying the cake with a critical eye. "Yes, I think this works."
Nesta looked slightly amused at the way she was looking at the cake, almost studying it, and shook her head, muttering faintly, "You're worse than Feyre with her painting, I swear."
"You did manage to make yourself very clear to Amren though," Nesta said calmly. "I am proud of you."
"I wasn't trying to," she mumbled, heat rising in her cheeks as Nesta chuckled softly. "I was just, y'know, frustrated. I guess I spoke more than I should've."
"You don't have to apologize for putting her in her place," Nesta said, looking amused at the memory of Eira's outburst the previous day. "It was a long time coming, honestly."
"I just-" Eira paused, fiddling with the end of her sleeves.
"It just really made me angry, that she was saying all those things," she mumbled. "I never did anything to her."
"That's because you've always been nice ," Nesta said with a sigh, her gaze and voice surprisingly fond. "In a way that a lot of people tend to overlook. But Amren was pushing it yesterday, and I'm just glad you finally snapped at her."
"It was about time, in my opinion," Feyre chimed in from the doorway, where she was cradling Nyx against her chest. "Amren's been treating you like a doormat for long enough."
"You aren't supposed to be in here!" Eira complained. "Happy Birthday!"
Feyre just smiled, not bothering to look apologetic at all as she said, "Thank you. This looks great."
Nesta just laughed as well, and Eira huffed, but there was no real displeasure in her expression.
"Go away," she said firmly to her sister, shooing both Feyre and Nesta out of the kitchen. "No birthday girl of mine is going to see her cake before they're supposed to."
Feyre let out a mock-offended gasp, but obeyed anyways, ducking out of the kitchen with Nyx still in her arms.
"Spoilsport," she called out over her shoulder, grinning.
Eira just rolled her eyes, even when she was already pulling out all the makings for breakfast.
They spent most of the day playing with Nyx, before Azriel, Rhys and Cassian arrived back, Azriel with his 200th victory in tow.
The three males arrived back not long after lunch time, their clothes rumpled and hair messy from the snowball fight.
Cassian and Rhys headed for the chairs, while Azriel made a beeline for her, looking slightly predatory in a way that made her heart beat faster.
She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks under his gaze, his gaze looking like he was ready to drag her off to a privatepart of the house.
She suppressed the urge to shiver, instead asking with forced innocence, "Did you boys have fun?"
"We certainly did," Azriel answered, his voice a low rumble as he closed the distance between them and gripped the waist, pulling her into his arms.
She let out a soft gasp as she landed against his chest, one of his hands resting on her hip.
"We had a wonderful game," Rhys chimed in from one of the couches, earning an annoyed muttering from Cassian.
"Wonderfully brutal, you mean," Cassian said dryly. "I swear, we were closer to frostbite than we were to a friendly match."
"Sounds like someone is just being a sore loser," Rhys said calmly, earning a scoff from Cassian.
"I am not!" he protested, looking more like a child whose favourite toy has been taken away than a centuries-old warrior.
"Want to help me in the kitchen?" she said quickly.
Azriel shot a warning glare at both Rhys and Cassian, before tightening his grip on her waist and nodding.
"Of course," he said, his voice so low that it rumbled in his chest.
They did manage it into the kitchen. And then his hands were suddenly all over her.
Azriel backed her up against the wall as soon as the door shut behind them, trapping her against the wall with his body.
The shadows swirled around them in an almost excited way, filling the room and blocking out the sounds of the voices in the other room.
"You owe me a kiss," he said, his voice a low rumble against the skin of her neck as he leaned down to press kisses against her neck. She shivered at the feeling of his lips on her skin, the heat of his body pressed up against hers. "I won."
"I guess I do," she answered breathlessly, wrapping her arms around his neck and gently running her fingers through the short, soft hair at the base of his head.
His mouth moved against her neck, his lips teasing and tempting, and she had to stifle a soft moan as his hands gripped her hips.
The shadows were almost dancing around them, swirling like they were as eager as she was. His hands were gripping her hips with a possession that made her feel almost faint with want, and the heat in her lower belly was spreading like wildfire throughout her body.
It was like a flame, igniting every inch of her body as his mouth moved up to press against her jaw, his lips brushing against her skin. She was shaking with the effort of holding back her moans, with the effort of holding herself together.
It was harder than she'd expected, with him so close, his presence almost overwhelming and his touch devastatingly good.
His mouth moved across her cheek, his breathing a low growl as he said, "I love it when you get flushed like this."
She shivered heavily, her hands gripping the collar of his shirt as he pressed his hips against hers in a way that made her pant helplessly.
And then he kissed her lips. Fitted his mouth over hers, his tongue plundering her mouth with no forewarning.
And she responded instantly, opening her mouth and letting his tongue into her mouth. Her mind was going hazy, her thoughts disappearing in an instant as she clutched at his shirt and pressed her body closer to his.
His hands were gripping at her hips like iron, forcing her body to stay still and taking as he claimed her mouth with a possessive ferocity.
She was completely at his mercy, shaking against him as he completely overwhelmed her with the force of his kiss.
His tongue was everywhere in her mouth, sweeping in and claiming her mouth as his own. She let out a desperate moan, the noise swallowed up by his mouth as his body pressed her up against the wall.
She was almost mindless with desire, her every thought and sense focused only on the feel of him against her, on the way his hands were gripping her hips and the hot, heavy feel of his body against hers.
And then he pulled back, panting. Resting his forehead against hers.
She was as flushed as he was, her lips slick and swollen from his kiss as she struggled to get her breathing under control.
His forehead was pressed against hers, the two of them just standing there, trying to catch their breath, as the shadows danced around them.
"Three days," he whispered.
"Three days," she echoed.
She rested her head back against the wall, her eyes fluttering shut as she let out a weary sigh.
Her heart was still racing, the heat in her lower abdomen aching like a throb, but they couldn't simply disappear to a private room when they were surrounded by the entire inner circle.
And she was not going to have her first time with Azriel somewhere public.
So instead, she focused on getting her breathing back under control, the heat of his body still overwhelming.
She forced her eyes open, studying his face. He was just as flushed as she was, his breathing heavy, but his eyes...his eyes were still dark and burning fiercely.
"You still owe me a solstice gift," she said with a weak grin.
Azriel managed a strained chuckle, lifting one hand up to cup her face and brush his thumb over her lip like he couldn't resist touching her.
"Indeed I do," he said, his voice still low and husky. "Let's see if we are already at the gift giving portion of the evening.
They heard the sound of laughter drifting in from the sitting room, and Azriel let out a rueful sigh, leaning his forehead against herss again.
"We should probably go back out to the others," he said quietly, his thumb still rubbing against her lip.
She almost wanted to disagree, to tell him that she wanted to stay right where they were. But reluctantly, she nodded in agreement, letting out a sigh of her own as she pushed herself off the wall.
Azriel's hands slid from her waist and hips, but he took her hand as they made their way back out of the kitchen.
They reappeared in the doorway, and Eira had to force down a flush as all of the others turned to look at them, as if they knew exactly what had been going on in the kitchen.
No one commented though, either because they didn't actually know or because they were being tactful for once, and instead, Rhys simply lifted the bottle of wine and said, "There you are. Come and sit down already."
But Azriel just led Eira over to one of the couches and sank down beside her, one arm wrapping around her shoulder to pull her closer. Not that she was resisting at all.
Eira just let herself lean against Azriel, resting her head on his shoulder and enjoying the solid warmth of his touch.
Gifts were exchanged, for Feyre's birthday and for Winter Solstice.
The wrapping paper piled up as more gifts were handed out, Nyx having more fun with the paper than his actually toys and Eira managed to find herself sitting almost on Azriel's lap with his arm still around her.
Not that she was complaining. If anything, she was simply enjoying the close contact and the heat of his body.
There were little piles of gifts before each of them. Eira was quite proud of the embroidered hair ribbons she had made for Nesta, Valkyrie white silk with little silver flames all over them, while Feyre had gotten an embroidered silk scarf. She had made other things, of course, other than the gloves she had already given to Azriel. A bright red silk dressing gown for Mor, even Cassian had gotten a new leather sheath for his daggers, while she had made a notebook cover for Rhys.
The others seemed to appreciate the gifts for the most part, with Mor giving her an overly dramatic show of affection as thanks. 
Mor herself had oviously decided to go the route of extravagance that year...with Cassian giving an offended noise at the box she handed him, glaring at it and protesting, "I don't need a face cream."
Which only made the rest of the group burst out laughing, even Amren managing a smirk.
"You certainly need something for those scars and freckles, darling," Mor said with a smirk. "I can see your skin deteriorating as we speak."
"It is not deteriorating," Cassian protested. "That's just the rugged look that I was going for."
Eira bit back a laugh at that, still staring at the dagger Cassian had given her, with a wink and the words "Not quite as cool as lightning. But I think Azriel would be happy to teach you."
She was still staring down at the dagger and the scabbard when Azriel gently leaned down to murmur in her ear, "You like it?"
His voice was a low rumble that thrummed through her body, and she almost shivered at the sound.
Eira  didn't hate it. Not as much as she had thought she would. She wasn't quite sure if she wanted to learn to fight. But maybe she didn't need to. maybe she could just learn how to defend herself.
She could feel Azriel watching her closely, and she was sure that he could probably feel the tension in her body.
But she still nodded slightly in response to his question, her eyes fixed on the dagger and scabbard in her hands. And he seemed to get the message, resting his chin on her shoulder and giving her a small squeeze.
The scabbard had been made of fine, supple leather, polished and oiled to shine like satin. But the dagger itself was the real beauty. The slender obsidian blade was polished to a mirror-perfect gleam, and when she pulled the blade out to study it, she noticed the little lightning bolt patterns carved into the blade.
"Here," Azriel said quietly. "That Solstice Gift I owe you."
Eira was only mildly startled as his quiet voice drew her back out of her thoughts, and she blinked at him in surprise.
"You really don't-" she began, but Azriel just shook his head, the shadows swirling with excitement.
"I talked them out of buying you another 3 dozen gifts, but I still wanted to give you something," he told her gently.
Eira couldn't help but feel touched that he'd gone to such trouble, even if she had been firmly telling them not to make such a fuss.
She was still speechless as he pulled a small, silk-wrapped box out of his pocket, handing it to her with an almost nervous smile on his face.
"I thought..well...I...I thought that you could use more pearls," he finally said quietly.
Eira almost gaped at his words as she stared down at the gift in her hands, her heart clenching at the thought that he'd given her pearls.
She carefully unwrapped the gift, her hands shaking slightly as she opened the box and uncovered a King's ransom in Pearls and Diamonds. A Necklace, Bracelet and a set of Hair Combs, all laid tucked into black velvet.
"No Earrings, but everything else," he said quietly.
She was literally speechless as she stared at the jewelry, her heart stuttering in her chest.
It wasn't just the jewelry that stole her breath away, but the thought and care that Azriel had taken in creating it.
He'd given her pearls. Diamonds too, but the pearls just made her throat ache.
Pearls like these very first earrings, like her engagement ring...and now there they were, ready to encircle her throat and her wrist as well.
The pearls were perfect, flawless and shining under the light like they were made of living ice. They looked smooth to the touch and more flawless than anything she'd ever seen before.
"They're beautiful," she told him, her voice a little strangled as she stared down at them. "Azriel...I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything," he told her as the shadows swooped around her, like they were eager to see the jewelry on her. "Do you like them?"
It was an oddly vulnerable question, and one that made her heart flutter in her chest.
"I love them."
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abbyromanoff · 1 year
Note
hello! can you write dom g!p student natasha x sub fem teacher reader?
DELICATE
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PAIRINGS: Natasha Romanoff x reader
WORD COUNT: 3356
WARNINGS: smut, professor x student, cheating, mentions of Wanda x R, dark fic, mommy (N), degrading, praising, dubcon, recording, nat has a dick, breeding, mentions of belly bulges, mentions of guns and killing, veryyyy dark!Nat, somnophillia, Nat kinda babying R, threatening, think that’s all :)
Kinktober masterlist!!
NO ONE IS PERMITTED TO STEAL, COPY, OR REBLOG MY WORK AS THEIR OWN!!
Your pen collided with the paper stacked upon others, a black line of ink following your every thread. Your lip was held by your teeth tightly while the computer's blazing glow shined through the dark room, being the only source of light as you found yourself too tired to reach out to the lamp across the room.
It was past midnight and you were well over your scheduled time but you had to grade these papers, the students were depending on them and you were lacking this month. You promised beforehand that they’d all see their results in a week or two but it passed that limit, and no matter how many times you apologized you still felt a nagging guilt when you were reminded of how aggravating it was for you to hear such things from your professors.
A sudden vibrate came from your phone and, even if you were in a deep focus, you were able to tear your eyes away for a fleeting moment to read the text coming from none other than Wanda, one of your students. The two of you shared a more intimate relationship than normal, but neither of you could stop yourselves. She was so beautiful and so intelligent, she always strived to receive the highest performance and often times found herself staying with you to complete work. Even in the silence, there was a sense of comfort and you wanted nothing more than to see how far this feeling could go, but she was your student and you were her professor, you thought there was nothing you could do.
That was until her lips landed on yours one afternoon when everyone had disappeared, leaving the two of you alone with no one to stop either of you. That night she went home with you, bringing you to multiple orgasms before you woke up next to her, lucky enough to realize it was a Saturday and you didn’t need to come into work. You left after a shared breakfast and peck to the lips that lasted longer than it should’ve. And then, your relationship started to blossom as you shared contacts and met up on occasion, careful enough to make sure no one could recognize the two of you.
Wands <3: Hello, my love! I hope work is going well and you’re not stressing yourself out too much. I just wanted to say goodnight since I finally finished my essay for Professor Rodgers, I was also thinking maybe we could see each other sometime this weekend. You know, to get our minds off the stress of papers and essays and assignments, all that boring stuff. Anyways, goodnight, and I hope you get home safely, I’ll hopefully see you soon!
The well-written paragraph almost seemed to release the tension that had been brewing inside of you, instead replacing it with a warm fuzzy sensation that had you blushing a deep red. You started to type out a well-thought-out response until you heard a small creaking. You assumed it was just due to the old pipes that you sent multiple requests in to be fixed and shrugged it off. That was until it continued.
“Hello? Anyone there?” You set your phone down and stood up, the laptop light now dimming the longer it was left unattended. It stopped for a moment and you started to believe it was all in your head, that was until you heard a loud, booming sound playing through what you guessed was a speaker. The projector suddenly lit up and was embraced with a video of you and Wanda on a coffee date at the cafe two blocks down, you gulped fearfully. You looked all around you, your heartbeat suddenly increasing its pace when you found nothing but a looming shadow in the corner.
“Who the fuck are you?” The video continued to play and that’s when you heard a deep moan, one that sounded all too familiar. You whipped your head around only to see a recording of Wanda going down on you while your hand laced through her hair, the other resting on your breasts as you helped her bring you to an orgasm.
“What the fuck?” Came your small whisper, confusion settling in and overpowering the fear you held.
“Mm, I remember that day very well.” Hands suddenly found themselves placed on your shoulders, making you jump at the contact before a chuckle left the unknown figure.
“Don’t be scared, love, I don’t bite. Well, unless you wanted me to, and after seeing that video I’m starting to think you’d very much enjoy that.” A lingering touch was planted on your hip as they turned you to face them, your eyes widening as you met the redhead’s green eyes in return.
“Hey, Professor.” You were suddenly very aware of the limited distance shared between you two and tried backing up discreetly, only to hear a clicking on her tongue in return.
“What do you want from me? How did you get those videos?” You asked timidly, feeling yourself now very much exposed with your opened buttons adorning your blouse. You noticed her staring at your chest as well, eyeing the black lace that made its way to the surface ever-so-swiftly.
“So many questions and so little of answers to give, what a shame.” She gave you a faux pout before biting her lip hungrily, palms rubbing at your sides softly as she seemed to be soaking in your curves.
“I’ve known about your relationship with Wanda for quite some time now and, my-oh-my, am I disappointed in you.” She stated, and without knowing why, you let your head fall in shame. “Don’t hide on me now, love, you seemed so confident when you were moaning her name, why so shy all of the sudden, hm?” You felt tears starting to form and sniffled, resulting in a mocking tone from the younger woman.
“Awh, don’t cry, you should know I don’t like cry babies.” She wrapped her arms tightly around your figure and brought you even closer to her body which radiated a strong perfume she wore. You couldn’t stop your head from leaning onto her chest as she ran her fingers through your soft locks that appeared messy from your state.
“You’ve been working so hard, haven’t you? Such a dumb baby, stressing yourself out so much, why don’t you have yourself a little break, yeah?” You nodded, a small sense of comfort forming in your brain at her words. She led you to where you sat at your desk and had you relax in her lap, kissing the top of your forehead while shushing your cries softly.
“Don’t be scared, baby, Mommy just wants to spend some time with her sweet angel.” A part of you wanted to scream and interrogate her on how she found such private moments of you, but the other part of you wanted to stay in her strong yet soft arms. You didn’t know if it was the tiredness or the overwhelming stress you found yourself sinking further into her hold.
“I think I know what could get you feeling so much better.” You felt the pads of her fingertips teasing your inner thighs through the tight pants you wore. Suddenly being very aware of the situation you were in, you started to whine, trying to form words but feeling too tired to speak.
“Shh, trust Mommy, okay? You’ve been working so, so hard lately, you deserve some of Mommy’s love, don’t you think?” She was your student, always hidden in the back as her eyes strayed towards you instead of your writing and words, this was wrong. Although, you couldn’t quite say that when knowing you did the same with another redhead. Shit. Wanda.
“N-no, we can’t, Nat-” You tried regaining your composure but your words seemed to come out bubbly and drawn out, your mind becoming too foggy as you were in desperate need of sleep.
“It’s Mommy to you, Professor. C’mon, you can’t tell me you don’t want this, you’ve practically been begging me to fuck you all year.” She remembered vividly whenever you’d bend over to direct a student in front of her, your ass being displayed generously to her eyes. Or whenever you’d help her even if she lied when saying she needed it, and the pet names that rolled off your tongue sent her in a spiral, she even convinced herself it meant more than you intended it to. She was so delusional, thinking that everything you did was purposeful and that you only saw Wanda as a way to replace your love for Natasha, even though that was far from the truth.
“You don’t know how badly I despise that asshole for taking you away from me, but it’s okay now, we’ll be together soon enough, I promise.” You shook your head but she held it firmly in her palm, bringing you as close as possible to her chest while forcing the quietness in you.
“I dreamt of the day you’d finally admit your love for me and let me show you how badly I want you, but then she got in the way and ruined everything. Not to worry though, I know you’ll end things with her before I end her myself.” She grinned as you tensed in her hold, only to stroke your cheek softly while her eyes deemed into yours. She could feel herself growing impossibly harder the more she held back, but she knew she wouldn’t be able to for much longer.
“You need to get some sleep, little one. You’ve been working such long hours, such a hard little worker you are. C’mon, get some rest and Mommy will take care of you.” You denied it again and again, knowing you were going to lose as your eyes started to close on you. They felt heavy, unbelievably heavy, at that.
“You know you’re not going to win this one. Just give in, Mommy would never hurt her precious baby.” Your mind was turning foggy with the way she spoke so gently along with the way she held you as if she never wanted to let go, you knew you were a goner.
“That’s it, don’t worry, just rest now, love.” She smiled to herself when seeing your eyes fully close, no matter how much she loved them she’d rather see them closed over while she fucked you into unconsciousness.
She set your body on the wooden desk after clearing the stacks of papers and ruined pens. Her hands came to spread your thighs instantly, growing more and more desperate the longer she waited. Her cock was practically drooling at the sight of you as she reached beneath the barrier of her pants and boxers to cup herself, shuddering in pleasure as she welcomed the bliss that followed.
“Such a perfect slut, already so compliant for Mommy.” Your belt was thrown as she pulled down your pants until she was greeted with the wet patch forming on your panties. You looked so adorable like this, she just had to keep it in her memories forever.
Grabbing her phone she took a few quick images that she knew she’d spend hours jerking off to the rest of the semester. That’s when a thought came to her. Setting up her phone against your laptop she pressed the red record button and smiled at the thought, turning back to you where she continued to remove the little amount of clothing you had on. Joining the pile of fabrics were your blouse and soon after your bralette that she spent an extra moment admiring.
She quickly did the same to herself as she stood stark-naked in front of you, your body only being covered by the little undergarment left.
“Look at how precious my angel is, so fucking perfect.” She grasped the phone in her hand as she directed the camera towards you, letting the lack of audience watch as she stroked her length over your covered cunt.
“This has been a fantasy of mine for some time now, sweetheart. Mommy’s so happy you’ve been so obedient, I knew you would.” She found herself coming to a quick release as spurts of her cum splashed your body before she aimed toward your breasts, moaning lowly as she painted your perky nipples white.
She set the electronic back down before leaning in and pressing a kiss against your dry lips, frowning as you shuffled slightly in your sleep. Her cock was aching to be inside of you by now, a throbbing redness appearing on her tip as she teased herself against your clit. That only seemed to edge her further until she finally let herself break and prodded at your hole, using your wetness as a form of lube. She was shocked to see you nearly dripping even when you tried to deny ever wanting this, ‘such a dumb whore’, she thought.
“Oh, yes, you feel so fucking amazing! Even better than I knew you would be.” She moaned dryly and thrusted her hips slightly, feeling yourself take her deeper and deeper until her pelvis bone was pressing into yours.
It was like you were made for her as you wrapped around her perfectly, and in her mind, you two were meant to be. She tried to erase the thought of Wanda from her mind, of the lude acts you two shared when you thought no one knew, but it only angered her further.
She knew you loved her, that’s what she convinced herself of at least. All the touches, the whispered words, they were meant for her and for a reason. Wanda did nothing to deserve your love, but Nat had been watching over you and keeping you from harm, only you never knew. And if you did, you’d most likely freak, but she didn’t want you to be scared, especially not of her.
“I’ll kill that bitch if she ever comes near you again, I fucking promise, baby.” The way you were sucking her in, your walls trapping her in place, this was all the proof she needed. There was no doubt in her mind that you’d spend the rest of your life with her. After all, she got whatever it was that she wanted.
“Oh, look who’s waking up.” Your eyes fluttered open as a whimper tumbled from your lips instantly. She smiled in your direction before grasping your chin in her fingertips, turning your head to face the camera still pointing towards the two of you.
“You look so cute, can’t wait to fill that pretty mouth with my cock.” You were slowly coming to your senses when you felt your back scratching against the desk as her hips continued to slap against yours, creating a loud clapping that echoed across the large room.
“Nat- ah!” You wanted to tell her to stop, that you’d report her for such horrid acts, but you couldn’t. The fact that it was so wrong made it feel even better, that seemed to be an occasional occurrence with you.
“Tell me you want me to stop, tell Mommy you don’t want it.” She was aching to hear it, to hear you beg her for less, knowing you wanted more.
“Please- please stop! I can’t take it!” She covered your mouth with her hand when your pleads came out, shushing you with that soft yet raspy voice of hers.
“Shh, don’t want anyone to hear ‘ya now. How do you think they’d react seeing a professor getting used by their student like a pathetic slut?” Your breath was coming to a regular, your heart finally returning to a normal beat as you accepted your fate. But something about the way her cock teased that spot deep inside of you that had you squirming made it all the better.
“You want Mommy to play with your clit? Yeah? Awh, all you have to do is ask, sweetie.” She spoke when your hand came to rub your swollen bud in a hurry, moan after moan leaving your mouth in response. She slapped your palm away and replaced it with her own, using her thumb to rub harshly and she smirked when hearing your juices spraying against her fingers.
“Oh my, baby, look at that!” Your mouth went slack as you squirted on her length, basking in the sweet pleasure she brought you.
“M-mommy! Mommy- please-“ She chuckled dryly at your babbled words.
“Yeah? You need something? Or are you too dumbed down to speak?” You bit your lip, eyes rolling to the back of your head.
“My brainless little doll, you like it when Mommy fucks that nice spot?” Your nods were rapid even if you had barely any knowledge of what she said.
“I’m gonna cum in this dirty little cunt, and you’re gonna take all of it like a good girl, alright?” There was no time to agree as you felt a warm liquid starting to fill you up, your walls being painted white while she pressed down on your stomach lightly, smirking when she felt a small bulge.
“God, you’re gonna be the best Mommy ever, you’ll look so fucking sexy all round and full. It’ll be a constant reminder of how you let your student use you like a worn-out whore.” The video ended and Wanda stared at her phone with tears ready to spill. Nat had sent her a file to which she thought would be notes from class, she never really liked the redhead but she was able to get used to her annoying antics. But now, she didn’t know if she’d ever be able to step foot in that class or look at you the same. She knew you were asleep during the first half, but you accepted her request in the end. Would she forgive you? How would she ever be able to go on another date knowing her classmate was fucking you not too long ago.
Suddenly there was a knock on the door and, while being hesitant to open it, Wanda eventually gave in but what greeted her was not you ready to meet up like she asked. No, it was someone else. Someone who held a loaded gun in her hand.
“I wasn’t lying when I said I’d kill you if you ever look at them again.” The woman stated, laughing at the fear in the girl's eyes.
“So, I’ll give you some hope. You remove all contact you have with Y/N right now, then you pack up your bags and leave in less than twenty-four hours, got that?” When she nodded, Nat continued. “Then, you’re going to go as far as you can, somewhere that I’ll never have to see you again or I might just have to shoot your little brains out, Wands.” She twirled the gun in her hand as if it was a joke, a silly old laugh between two friends, but it was anything but.
“Well, I would say I hope to see you around but I guess you’ll be leaving now.” She gave an exaggerated pout and stuck her foot in the door when Wanda tried to close it in a hurry.
“If I come back here tomorrow and I see you’re still here, you won’t be the only blood splattered on the wall.” She whispered, thankful no one was nearby to hear her threatening words.
“Well, bye now!” She left with a smile planted on her face, knowing there was no chance of you and Wanda anymore. You were hers entirely, every part of you belonged to her and it would continue to stay that way.
Wanda closed her door with widened eyes, turning to face the body lying on her bed who seemed to have just woken from a nap.
“What’s wrong, baby?” You asked, walking towards her as she refused to even look at you.
“I- uhm, I need to go.” She left before you could say a word, leaving the two of you with pieces of your heart damaged while Nat’s was perfectly healed, all while she was the one holding you at night.
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fushipurro · 3 months
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Comforting Presence
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☆ Synopsis: You're having a bad day, but luckily you have Sukuna there to help.
☆ Content: soft!sukuna, gn!reader, hurt/comfort, fluff, established relationship
☆ Notes: had a lot on my mind and couldn't sleep so i wrote this up really fast to put me at ease. hopefully it brings you all comfort as well <3
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You awake to a familiar, delicious scent that overwhelms your senses all at once.
Momentarily you’re confused ─ disoriented from your nap. Sukuna shouldn’t be home from work yet, you had only shut your eyes a few minutes ago. You thought so at least, but judging by the darkened state of your bedroom, that early afternoon nap became more than just that.
You rub the sleep from your eyes, stretching out of the bed and onto your feet. The smell calls to you, and you aimlessly follow it to its source.
In the kitchen, you spot Sukuna with his back turned to you, a utensil in hand over the hot stove top. You step closer without another thought, snaking your arms around to his front and pressing your cheek to his back.
He laughs quietly, with that husky tone that never fails to raise goosebumps across your skin. “Morning, sleepyhead,” he greets, continuing to cook while you continue clinging to him.
“When did you get home?” you ask, your voice thick with sleep.
He hums, “Around an hour ago. I thought it was a little too quiet around here until I found your drooling face.” You can hear the smirk between his words.
“Why didn’t you wake me?”
“I was going to, but then I remembered how grumpy you get when you’re disturbed.”
“Am not,” you argue, flaring your cheeks as you pout.
Sukuna laughs again, and you know in your heart he’s right. He’s always found amusement in comparing you to a hibernating bear when you’re sleeping, but this is also the same man that revels in danger wherever.
“I also know you only nap when you’re sick or something’s upsetting you, and you’re definitely not sick,” he adds while turning the knob to shut the stove off. “So, what’s wrong?”
You tense, caught off guard by how well he’s read the situation from something as simple as a nap ─ something everyone does. It shouldn’t surprise you though; he’s always been good at it, and only got better once you started living together full-time.
“…had a bad day.” You tighten your arms slightly, pushing your face deeper against his body. It’s a reminder that he’s really here, that all of this is real. “I missed you.”
The palm of his hand settles over the both of yours, fingers mingling to hold yours, his thumb smoothing shapes across your skin.
“Had I known, I would’ve come home sooner, but someone must not be checking their phone.”
“Sorry…” you say, sounding defeated as you do. You know he’s only teasing, but the thought of ignoring him ─ even if it was an accident ─ bothers you greatly.
Sukuna may display faux annoyance at your calls, but he’s always said that if you need him, call him. He could never truly be mad at you, but after the day you had, and being tired and hungry on top of it all, your emotions are a dangerous tide to swim with.
He sighs, breaking away from your grasp only to turn and face you properly. His hand still holds one of yours, the other landing against your face. It’s only natural that you angle yourself to seek his touch.
“Go sit up, and I’ll bring you your plate,” he says, leaning down until his lips meet yours with a ginger touch, atypical from his usual roughness.
You nod, stepping away to do as he asked, and a minute later he comes in with dishes for you and him. As he gets comfortable in his seat, he pulls your chair closer with his foot after deciding you’re too far from his side.
“After we eat, you’re going to tell me what’s on your mind.” Sukuna uses a stern tone to address you, and while it makes you want to shrink, or deflect that you’re fine and a bad day was all it was, but then you remember that this is Sukuna.
He loves you, even if he doesn’t say it as often as he should. You know more than anyone that he would let the world burn, watching with popcorn in his hand if only for you. You have always trusted him more than yourself at times. He knows you well enough after all, and just how to make you smile when all you’re able to do is drown in yourself. Just like how he knew from a simple nap that making you one of your favorite comfort meals would be exactly what you needed.
It's thanks to Sukuna that you never have to suffer again on your own. He’s all you’ve ever needed to feel better about life, and you love him with all of yours and the next ones combined.
“Now eat before it gets cold, brat.” He smiles, and you can feel your troubles already beginning to slip away with the tide.
You’ll get through this with Sukuna here at your side.
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wands-natsthing · 6 days
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𝐈𝐟 𝐈’𝐦 𝐒𝐨 𝐒𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥
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Hii I haven’t written anything in months so hopefully this isn’t like bad 
Plsss like and comment if ya wanna I love reading them and it's so motivating
And feedback is more than welcomed. 
Warings: This is like previous high school student x teachers kinda sorta reader was 18 when that was happening tho no smut yet but will be implied in the future. Panic attacks, Axe’s body spray. That’s all i think but if you recognize anymore lemme know pls!! 
Word count: 1.5k 
Summary: You're in love with your high school English teacher Wanda but at graduation she’s like I love you too but we can’t so then five years pass and you see her at a cafe with another red headed woman.
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They say high school is a time of self-discovery, forming relationships that could last a lifetime, and navigating the endless possibilities of first experiences. For you, high school was wrapped up in the lunches you shared with Mrs.Wanda Maximoff, your 
12th-grade English teacher.
The unusual friendship started with a shared love for classic literature and a mutual understanding of feeling out of place. Mrs. Maximoff had a way of making Shakespeare's complicated content relatable and understandable by intertwining them with life lessons that resonated with you. 
She was different from other teachers. She was patient, helped you with your homework when you couldn't understand the difference between dependent and independent clauses, listened more than she spoke. When she did speak, her words were thoughtful and impactful, often leaving you to think long and hard after class had ended.
Your lunch sessions together started by accident, really. 
On a particularly busy day, when the crowded hallways were more overwhelming than usual, your anxiety was on the brink of turning into a full-blown panic attack. You found refuge in her classroom. Mrs. Maximoff was there, her eyes scanning over a copy of Donna Tartt's "The Secret History." She looked up, saw your distressed state, and, without a word, brought you into her embrace. 
The smell of her expensive perfume didn't burn your nose like the smell of Bath and Body Works, Axe cologne, and body odor in the hallways usually did. 
She calms you down using the softest voice you've ever heard. 
"You're doing so well, darling. Now tell me, what are three things you can smell?" 
"Your perfume,"  you answered. The strong feminine scent overwhelmed your senses in the best way possible. 
"Oh yeah, it does smell pretty good, doesn't it? You're doing so well for me, sweet girl." 
When you were finally calm, she shared her lunch with you. While eating, we talked about everything but schoolwork, music, movies, and favorite books and authors. It was the first time you truly felt seen and heard. 
These lunches became a part of your routine. Every day, you'd sit in her classroom during lunch hour, the chaos of the school melting away as we engage ourselves in conversation about anything and everything. 
There was a silent agreement to keep these lunches between us, our little secret.  
However, as weeks turned into months, your feelings toward Mrs. Maximoff began to change. It was initially subtle, a flutter of the heart when she smiled, a longing to be near her more than our lunches and class time allowed. 
When you realized these feelings you panicked. You knew that they were wrong but just couldn't help yourself. The tabooness of a student having romantic feelings for their teacher was probably the most exciting part about it. 
You fought with your conscience on a daily basis, constantly reminding yourself of the boundaries that should not be crossed, the rules that you both would be breaking, and how she could lose her job. But your heart didn't care. You wanted her, and you were determined to figure out if she wanted you as well. 
As spring transitioned into summer, your feelings continued to grow. Graduation was approaching, and you had made up your mind to express the feelings you had for Mrs. Maximoff on that day.
Graduation day was filled with excitement as students threw their graduation caps and rushed to their loved ones with their diplomas, but you were only interested in finding Mrs. Maximoff. You spotted her talking with someone's parents among the crowd of excited students. You began making your way toward her. The closer you got to her, the more your eyes met. She stopped talking to the parents and turned all her attention to you. Mrs. Maximoff reached out her hands to hold yours while whispering in your ear, 
"I'm so proud of you."  
"Thank you, Wanda," you uttered softly, the sound of her name sweet on your lips. 
When you look back at her face, you see her nose scrunch up the way it always does when she's blushing.With your heart beating out of your chest, you thought now would be as good a time as ever to proclaim your love to her. 
"Hey, Wanda, I need to tell you something," she can tell in your tone of voice that it's serious."
"Whatever it is, you can tell me," she reassures you with a concerned look in her eyes.
"This year has been amazing, the best year in school I've ever had, and I have you to thank for it. I think about that day when you saved me from the hallways all the time, and it was the best day of my life because I met you. As I got to know you, you became more than my 12th-grade English teacher, more than Mrs. Maximoff. I got to know Wanda, and it has been my biggest joy. I guess what I'm trying to say is. I love you, Wanda Maximoff." 
You finish your declaration with tears in your eyes, but Wanda's devastating look turns tears of joy and relief into tears of sadness.
"I love you too," she whispered back, her voice carrying a mixture of sorrow, excitement, and apprehension. "But you're about to start a new chapter of your life. College is not just about studying; it's also about experiencing new things, and I don't want to be the thing holding you back from doing that. I'm ten years older than you. I've had my fun, and now it's time for you to have yours, but please know that I enjoyed our time together just as much, if not more, than you did. Maybe if the circumstances were different, then we could have made this work, but we're just in different places in our lives right now."
Your heart sank. 
Though you knew she was right, you didn't want to hear that. The logical part of you agreed with her, but your heart didn't care. You longed to be with her.
"Okay, um, thank you. Bye," you mumbled tearfully while walking away. You could hear her call out for you, but you didn't have it in you to turn back. Embarrassed and  heartbroken, you left the graduation stadium, ready to experience all the "new things." She said you would hopefully find it. 
That was five years ago. 
Now, at your college graduation with a Master's in library science. All the memories from high school just came flooding back into your mind. You never stopped thinking about Wanda after that day. Every time you would sit by yourself in the campus cafe, you would often think about all the lunches the two of you shared together. 
You had received an offer to work in your high school's library after college, which made you ecstatic. You've always loved your high school's library. It's the best one you've ever visited. 
However, you're concerned about whether Wanda still works there. In the past five years, you haven't tried to look for or talk to her at all. 
You rented an apartment that would be closer to the school when it started in August. You decided to stop at the coffee shop where you would get your hot pumpkin spice latte, even in the summer months. You remembered when you would occasionally bring Wanda one as well. 
When you walked in you heard the familiar bell that would ring anytime someone walked in or out. After you order your drink you settle at a table near the window loving the view it offers. As you take in the scenery you hear a familiar laugh. That couldn't possibly be- You thought as you turned around. 
Your eyes met a sight that took your breath away. 
There was Wanda looking as gorgeous as ever just like she was five years ago. Her hair color hadn't changed; it was the auburn color of red you adored, even her laughter that was echoing throughout the cafe was the same. Across from her sat another redheaded woman, their fingers laced together, sharing a moment of what looked to be pure love and happiness. 
The sight filled you with mixed emotions. You were happy that she was happy, but you couldn't help but feel envy bubbling up inside you. That should be me. 
As you stood up to leave not even caring about how sweet the pumpkin spice flavor on your tongue would be. You hear her laughter subsided. Wanda's gaze wandered and locked with yours. For a brief moment, time stood still, and memories rushed back. 
A smile, warm and understanding, on her lips as she gave a small wave. You go to wave back, but you're paralyzed. Unable to move or breathe. The only thing that brings you back is the sound of your name being called. “Y/n…Pumpkin spice latte hot?" The barista called out. 
"Y- yes, that's me." You replied quickly, grabbing your coffee and practically running out of there. 
You couldn't believe you just saw her again and in the midst of self-patronizing for not waving back and standing there like a deer in headlights. You had one thought. 
Who is that woman? 
♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎
Lemme know what you think!! and if you want more
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edgeray · 4 months
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Hi child :]
What about arle cooking for reader?
I think she can’t cook it’s hilarious but I’d love to see what you come up with if you decide to write it<3
Onions Are Her Weakness
(Arlecchino x GN! Reader)
A/N - Hi momma!!! I've been looking forward to this one, but I do my requests based on chronological order. Finally got to this one! Was waiting to write some crack :D Reader is gonna be gender neutral. I was so excited about writing about how arle can't cook, i forgot about the prompt and decided to have reader teach arle how to cook. hopefully this is okay  Content warnings / info - author attempts to be funny, author pretends that they know how to cook
Despite Arlecchino's best efforts, it had come to her beloved's attention that Arlecchino did not have much cooking experience. Like the loving partner that you are, you aim to correct that. After all, cooking is an essential life-skill that even children need to learn. How Arlecchino has yet to learn, you're not certain, but you suppose better now then never for Arlecchino. 
For your sanity, maybe never was better. 
Your husband is, archons bless her, talented in a number of fields. But archon, you will never allow her to set foot in the kitchen again.
It was clear that Arlecchino didn't just not have cooking experience, but she didn't have any experience, period. Neither did she have any cooking intuition, or the bare necessity, common sense. With how abysmal her skills are, you no longer find her fondness of raw meat all that surprising. 
For the day, you banned the kitchen from the rest of the House of the Hearth; it was reserved for you and Arlecchino only. 
You first started off with Fontainian Onion Soup. Easy enough, you naively thought. 
“Okay, Arlecchino. First step is to ‘peel and thinly slice onions from–” You begin reading out, but before you can finish the instructions, a flash of black and red flies past your sight and then a crisp, wet, crunch that makes you cringe. You glance up from the book and to your utter horror, a gruesome murder scene lies in front of you on the cutting board.
You couldn't fathom what the onions did to deserve such a fate. Instead of the thinly sliced peel you're supposed to see suggested by the book, there is the sick, disgusting scene of the maimed remains of the once fresh onions. It’s like the onions are crying for death after that assault. Arlecchino stands besides you, unaware of the atrocity she commited on your counter. The knife next to you remains untouched.
“Arlecchino,” you say, as composed as one can be, though you already feel like you're about to cry–and it's not because of the onions. “You're supposed to use the knife to cut.”
Arlecchino looks at her claws for a beat of silence. “Thank you for the clarification, my love.” 
She awkwardly picks up the knife, as if never having picked up a cooking tool before. Her entire fists grips around the handle, as if she continues to torture the already tormented onions. You set aside the mangled onions, and place the unharmed ones in front of her.
“Don't hold it like you're going to stab them,” you sigh, correcting her finger placement so that she was properly holding the knife. The poor onions had enough, you think to yourself. Your husband seems confused, but adjusts to the new position. 
You raise the book to her eye level, pointing at the picture. “Okay, it's supposed to look like this. Cut it like that, yeah?” 
Arlecchino nods, and attempts her best. Though not proportional, at least the cuts were straight. Improvement, right? The process is slow, her fingers keep returning to a stabbing position before you correct her again, reminding her that the onions do not feel pain. 
Finally, she has sliced the last one, as terrible looking as all the others, but you give her some slack. You glance up at her expression, wanting to see how she felt now that she had completed the first step of the recipe. 
Her face is wet. More specifically. She's crying.
“Arlecchino. You're crying.”
Arlecchino hastily wipes her eyes with her sleeves. “No, I am not.” 
“Yes, you are.”
“Crying is a display of weakness.”
“So onions are your weakness?”
You don't stop cackling for a good while, imagining how the Knave, the Fourth Fatui Harbinger, being defeated by cut onions. Maybe the next time Arlecchino decides to have a duel with her children, you'll inform them to bring some onions and chuck them at her. 
“You speak of this to no one.”
Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet would benefit from this information. No, even better, this can act as blackmail. Oh, you need to engrain this into your mind. “Of course.” 
You decide that you can't trust her enough to mince the garlic cloves. 
The next step was caramelizing the onions in the pan. 
“Arlecchino.”
“Yes?”
“What is the color of caramel?” 
“It is brown, why do you ask?” 
“Look at your onions, and tell me what color they are.”
Arlecchino looks down at the pan in her hand. She frowns. “They appear black.” 
“And why is that?”
“Perhaps they are cursed like I am.” 
“Arlecchino, no–”
You drag Arlecchino to the nearest market for more onions as a punishment for wasting your hard-earned money. Once you've returned, you impel her to cut and cook the onions again.
“Stir occasionally, okay? Don’t forget the oil and butter.” 
This time, the onions aren’t turned to ashes, and you think, maybe Arlecchino isn't so hopeless. The next few steps are just adding the rest of the ingredients for the soup, and you make sure that even she can't mess that up. Wine, then the stock and herbs, and you get something that vaguely reminds you of puke. 
Next comes the Fontainian bread. Nice crispy, cheesy bread is great with soap. This is the last step. Baking is easy. Just put things in the oven, and it'll be done.
“Take a pinch of the cheese and sprinkle it on the bread–no, Arlecchiono, that is not a pinch, that is a handful and a half. Put that back.” 
“But you like cheese.”
“I like my bread with cheese, not cheese with bread.” 
“They are the same thing.” 
“No, one is bread with cheese, and one is a mountain of cheese suffocating the bread as if it was demanding its money back. I like being able to taste bread.” 
Arlecchino pauses, likely confused by your comparison. “But you like cheese,” she repeats again, so sweet and so, oh confused. Archons, she's pouting. 
“Arlecchino. I don't need this much cheese,” you quietly confess. “Put it back.” 
“But–”
“Arlecchino, I love you, and I will always ask you to get me a fistful of shredded cheese when I want to. But it is not now. Put it back.” 
Sometimes, you wonder how this woman, this beautiful, sexy, hot woman of your husband was a Snezynayan diplomat. This is one of those times.
“Why do we have to wait for this long, when I can just use my vision?” 
“Because you will burn them, now can you please set down the tray so we don't char our bread. The bakeries are already closed, and burnt bread does not taste good.”
Arlecchino sighs and places down the cheesy breads, sparing them from their painful fate.
“I'm sure charred bread tastes acceptable. Charred meat has excellent flavor.”
That explains so many things and it makes you want to cry.  
After the bread is toasted, without the assistance of Arlecchino, you serve her the homemade soup and bread, the creation taking from noon to evening. Although you're starving, watching your husband’s eyes light up upon eating her creation makes all the hair pulling and teeth gritting moments worth it. In these moments, you forget that this hopeless, loving husband was anything but just that; not the Knave, not the Fourth Harbinger, just yours. You can forgive her for the slaughtered onions and the nearly burnt bread if it meant more domestic moments like these. 
In the middle of her meal, however, she stops and comments something.
“This would benefit from raw beef.”
You don't have the strength in you to deny her otherwise.  
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neoyi · 2 months
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Neo Yi's Super Fun Webcomic Reading List Time!
I wanna do it. I wanna be the guy! I wanna recommend and impart my personal views on the webcomics I've read over the better part of the year. I feel like I've read more online comics since 2023 then I had in over a decade. It is an excellent time to get into comics.
Not every webcomic on the list worked for me, but I'm not going to comment negativity on any of them because all of them deserve to be read and appreciated. No, what I am going to do, regardless of how I feel about ANY of these comics, is to state some things I liked about it. Hopefully something will catch your eyes.
Links to each webcomic will be provided, though Tumblr hates annnnnything with actual links, so I'm just going to copy and paste them in an attempt to reach a broader audience and get these out into the greater wild. It ain't much, but I hope it helps the creators making 'em.
All images I used for each comic are usually the first cover/first page. If the creators prefer I not do that or have another image they'd like me to use instead, please let me know.
I'm also hoping I can regularly update this as I continuously read more and more as I had to split the current list I had into two parts. So consider this Part 1.
No rank because this ain't a ranking list; we going alphabetical order.
1. A Dance With Death (http://overmorrowtales.com/death/cover.php)
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Summary: It's the end of the world and Death is waiting for someone to dance with. Who could it be?
Hi, I went into this comic because the main cover had the Grim Reaper in a suit. I know what I'm about, son.
I left this short (really, it's only 34 pages, so you can finish it in about thirty minutes) with a mix of existential crisis and an odd sense of peace. I love seeing anthropomorphic personification of human ideas and the world around us. Just seeing the creator indulge in what they interpret the likes of the Four Horsemen, or Pain, or Fear, or etc etc was a visual treat to see.
Who Death dances with might feel obvious once you put the pieces together, but its the explanation behind why he chose them, especially in the face of an ongoing apocalypse, that both felt utterly clever in its interpretation and worthy of the wait.
2. All Known Alternatives (https://akacomic.com/)
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SUMMARY: Akane must find the 42 keys spread across parallel worlds in order to get back home. Eri and Ben is spending summer vacation before university, but get caught in the conflict when one of the keys end up in their world.
All Known Alternatives is described as both fantasy and slice-of-life and it definitely feels like it. I'm a huge fan of collect-a-thon stories, a quest forever molded and shaped by the approx. one gazillion platformers that I've been playing since 1989.
The comic is still new, so for the most part, I've mostly been seeing the slice-of-life aspect of Eri (and a reluctant Ben) settling Akane in. While no doubt finding ALL 42 keys would been an ordeal task for any comic artist (indie or otherwise) to write and draw about (indeed, Akane has half the amount prior to the comic's start), I am curious to keep going to see if the main cast will get the reminding 20+ left, and presumably, enter other worlds (well, other then the ones we've seen so far.)
In-between chapters are, what I think are flashbacks, centered on a squad of military folks. Presumably this will be a "How-Did-They-Get-Here" kinda tale, possibly centered on Akane's origin, but it's too early to tell.
It's three chapters in, each roughly about 40+ pages plus intermission chapters (roughly anywhere from 6 - 10 pages), so it's got a decent-sized backlog to get into. I'll be keeping an eye on this one.
3. Augustine (https://comics.windywallflower.com/augustine)
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SUMMARY: August and friends are constantly surviving in the region known as the Crater as they collect bounties, often with a huge heap of trouble they tend to leave in their wake. When they stumble upon an ancient artifact, they''ll be force to contest with other bounty hunters and Gods!
As of this post, I've only wrapped up Chapter 1. I think Chapter 2 had just started, so I haven't ventured further, so there's not a whole lot I can say about Augustine yet. However, the first issue is a good introduction to both the characters (lovable misfits who all Try Their Best) and the absolute chaotic tone of the whole comic.
Augustine wants you to be pumped. It's incredibly energetic and fun, helped by the largely orange background. And I'm not talking orange orange, I am talking bright, vibrant sugar-infested Tang orange. It really lends well to the vitality of this comic and it's really gorgeous when the creator mixes it with the other color they use a lot: deep blue.
I'm also just a casual fan of Greek mythology, so I'm excited for the possibility of backstories and/or meeting with Godly pantheons. This bitch loves Godly pantheons.
4. BACK (http://www.backcomic.com/)
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(Note: I used the front cover of the first BACK physical comic because the first page is kinda just background.)
SUMMARY: Abigail wakes up from a coffin and is immediately told she is the key to ending the world. With no memory of who she is, Abigail just accepts and goes about her mission. Trailing along is a druid named Daniel, someone with enough morals hoping that maybe, Abigail, shouldn't really do the whole Ending the World thing.
BACK was still updating when I first read it (up to the Dead Man Arc, I believe) and at the time, I remember being restless for reasons I now can't comprehend. I read through the whole thing again and asked myself, "Why did I feel like it dragged? This is one of the breeziest comics I've ever read!"
Ya know what I also like besides collect-a-thons? Its cousin, the "Fight Every Major Boss to Get To The Final Boss and Save the World: plot. BACK comic is actually pretty straightforward, but it's brandished with KC Green's (well, and perhaps Anthony Clark's: as of this post, I have not read Nedroid, but I've been recommended to it by a mutual) trademark sense of humor, so there's plenty of lingering weirdness and cartoonish, over-the-top characters. It's the kind of comic where the silliness never leaves, often used as much for laughs as it does for brevity whenever it gets serious. I kinda thing it'd work as a Cartoon Network program, honestly. It kind of dips a fine line between being all-age or something Adult Swim would play.
By the time I finished, I was left immensely satisfied. It's about 800 pages, but reading BACK felt effortless. Maybe I would have felt differently if I had been keeping up with it per update when it was still going, but diving into it as a whole? It works. Each chapter, character introduction, and action scenes never overstay their welcome.
I'm pretty invested in the idea of getting physical copies of these books soon, BACK is just that dang good.
5. Come Hell or High Water (https://www.chohwcomic.com/)
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SUMMARY: Prince Gladimir did not want to fall in love with a pirate, but he's thrown into his world of sea-farers and ne'ers do-wellers if it means saving his kingdom.
Can I just say I love the title of this comic? Come Hell or High Water is probably one of the badassest of all catchphrases and the creator just chose to use it as their title and it rules.
Everything about this premise rocks my world: elegant princely figure falling for his dashing, roguish pirate guy, fictional kingdoms and the political intrigues and conflict that arises within, high-faring sea ventures, and etc etc. This comic, by all means, is my jam.
Soooooooo, I actually kind of fell out of this comic early into its run. Something about it wasn't clicking for me, personally, but with thirteen chapters under its belt and me, having only gotten up to, roughly, the third chapter, I want to give this one another go later down the line. There is no way I can't leave this comic left unread when EVERYTHING about it fits my particular mold so well. I'm not sure what didn't stick with me, but it certainly is not the sexual tension between the main characters which, god, Chapter One starts off with Gladinmir breaking up with his hot pirate boyfriend and if that isn't a good conflict for the two of them to work out their issues, then I don't know what is.
6. Dead City (https://topazcomics.com/deadcity/welcome/)
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(NOTE: The cover is from the physical copy of Dead City. I screencapped this from their official store, hence why the link is watermarked on it. But hey, now you can go and buy it. It's good! Read it!)
SUMMARY: Two guys survive a zombie apocalypse, learn a little about each other, and maybe, just maybe, fall in love. ;O
If it wasn't for a couple of blogs I follow vouching for this comic, I might not have read Dead City. Me and zombie stuff are not syncopatico. Dead City is not about that. The zombie stuff is just background for what it's really about: a slice-of-life and cozy (yes, really!) story of two guys just trying to make through a dying world one day at a time. Throughout the comic, they learn to lean on each other, learn who they are, and get into internal conflicts fighting off their demons.
It's short (roughly 190+ pages), it's sweet, and it genuinely left me feeling like things will be alright in spite of a burning world.
7. Doris Doodle (https://www.dorisdoodle.com/)
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SUMMARY: Doris Doodle is an old-timey cartoon struggling to find acting jobs in a media field where she's considered a thing of the past. However, when she is caught on camera for an act of goodwill that launches her into viral popularity, a new door opens up for her, but not without drawbacks.
I think Doris Doodle ended up being one of my new favorites. I'm fond of the Roger Rabbit-ish world of toons living in a human environment, breathed to life by animators, and going about their daily lives in-between gigs as actors. Indeed, you see a lot of crossovers from numerous famous cartoon stars (Betty Boop being a prominent one), which leaves me curious on how much workload the creator has to do with their current goal to make a non-copyright-infringement, physical version of this. It'll be interesting to see.
In any case, Doris Doodle left me emotionally yearning for a happy ending for the main character. We see how the media world chews and spit her out even decades later, and how, once a wide-eyed actress who wanted to be seen, can turn so cynical and bitter at what she was denied, through acts often not of her own faults.
The comic explores the usual horridness of Hollywood shallowness and sexist bullshit, but it also explains what its like to be an old toon out-of-touch of an ever increasing modern world. I love the latter a bit more since it's uniquely set for fictional pen-and-paper denizens; seeing how Toons exist, how restricted their livelihood is no matter what decade you were born, and the methods they go through to survive is fascinatingly good worldbuilding.
8. Earth In a Pocket (http://earthinapocket.spiderforest.com/)
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SUMMARY: Anthropologist Halisi Mwangi wants to bring Earth's past to numerous human space colonies. Grabbing precious artifacts that has dotted human history, she blasts off to achieve her goals. Unfortunately, an accident causes her to be stranded on an unknown planet, with only its residences left to keep her company.
I think about the future of our planet a lot, and I'm often terrified of what will happen. I've found myself increasingly annoyed at End of the World stories heavily laden with cynical, edgy bents. I'm not saying these can't have commentary, but geez louise, one can only deal with another "Humans Suck and Can't Be Trusted In the Face of Despair" narrative without withering into a fetal position. Like, man, I get it, but also, come on.
Futurama has always been kind of a comfort show for me. There's something reassuring to see a fictional depiction of Earth a thousand years later, still thriving. Their problems aren't any more or less better or worse than ours, but they're living and doing things and it's just kinda nice.
Earth in a Pocket does something similar: it's a futuristic world where science benefited mankind. There are space colonies now and safe travels in-between, with no sign of the Earth itself in any danger. The main characters is utterly positive and obsessively in love with what humanity has accomplished. She praises the capabilities of what we have done and can do; it's this thinking that not only motivates her to survive, but educate the little adorable jellyfish aliens, all of whom are curious to learn about this strange, bipedal creature.
This is another short comic, so it'll take maybe an hour to finish. I urge you, if you ever feel sad about the current state of the world, give Earth in a Pocket a try. It's compassionate to mankind's achievements, endlessly encourages learning through curiosity and mutual respect for each other's cultures, and reminds us the good we can do. It's just feels good.
9. Fairmeadow (https://www.fairmeadowcomic.com/)
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SUMMARY: Goma, a warrior orc, lost and broken, ends up in Fairmeadow, a small community of pacifists lead by Sanctuary. There, Goma is accepted as long as she abides by their peacekeeping rules, which she increasingly challenges every step of the way.
I was initially hesitant to approach this comic because of its tabletop RPG influence, something I am vastly unfamiliar with. I wondered if there would have been terminology I wouldn't get, but I strode on because the premise sounded interesting.
And it was totally worth it. I didn't need to know a goddamn thing about Dungeons n' Dragons or whatnot to enjoy the heck out of this comic. It is exactly what the summary say it is: hardened warrior who has Seen War clashes with a bunch of idealists who refuses to engage. It is damn good showing the flaws behind what an isolationist, hippie-like community is when they refuse to engage in politic strife that, though they refuse to admit, does reflect the world they live in. Goma doesn't instantly endear, both in-universe and out, but the further you read, the more you understand and even side with her frustrations on these crop-hoarding loners who seem content in their impossibly fantasy world. And I love that both sides represent their positions as justified. It's a constant battle and I am eager to find out how these characters will engage with each other, and especially, how it'll end. Fairmeadow feels like the kind of comic where we won't get an easy answer by the time it wraps up.
10. The Glass Scientists (https://www.theglassscientists.com/)
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SUMMARY: In a city increasingly hostile to mad scientists everywhere, a one Dr. Jekyll took it upon himself to create an academy to encourage and prep those scientists to fit into good society. Course, things get complicated when Jekyll's other side, the impish Mr. Hyde, constantly takes over to rein a little chaos.
Okay, so, I do enjoy The Glass Scientists. The comic seem to be reaching its end point, so shit is hitting the fan, and I am glued. But I think I'm drawn more to the aesthetic of the comic than anything. Like Victorian-era mad scientists aren't my particular bread and butter, but everything about the Victorian-era fashion is, so Dr. Jekyll in a top hat as the first thing I saw was going to draw me in no matter what.
The second thing that dragged me in was the HOLY SHIT THE ARTWORK IS FREAKIN' AMAZING WHAT THE FUCK THESE LOOK LIKE ONE OF THOSE COMICS WHERE THEY SCREENCAP CARTOONS. I found out the creator works for animation professionally, so that explains a lot. This is a maddeningly great looking comic, with some incredibly good lighting haunting the streets of London.
Things really get interesting a few chapters in when Dr. Frankenstein appears and I feel that's when the comic really takes off. Like, if 19th century English literature and mad scientist gremlins are your thing, definitely give this a read. If anything, maybe you, too, will weep in tears at how gorgeous the comic looks.
11. Goth Western (https://www.gothwestern.com/)
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SUMMARY: With an act of necromancy, Jack brings her lover, Evelyn, back to life, at the cost of working for the God she gave her soul to. Now she must hunt down a man in order for the two of them to have their happy ending.
Damn. "Goth Western." That's a title that goes hard. Another short comic that can be read in one fell swoop, Goth Western is pretty much what it is: a dark fantasy ol' west story between two women who would go to the ends of the Earth for each other. It's got all the hallmarks of the western genre: gun fights, bounty hunters, deserts and saloons, etc. I'm not particularly ride or die for Westerns, but it's there for those who are.
What I did love is the sheer optimism behind the grit. I like that Jack and Evie are genuinely decent people who just so happens to have no conniption committing some immoral acts or a crime or two if it means ensuring their own future. And they go through some shit. And you root for them regardless because they love each other and deserve to be together, and in spite of its harsh background, they will find it.
Honestly, with the length of the book, Goth Western feels like it could be an amazing and fun film.
12. Hans Vogel Is Dead (https://www.hansvogelisdead.com/)
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SUMMARY: Ace pilot Hans Vogel dies in the Battle of Britain, wherein he ends up in a stagnating fairy tale world. Along with a girl cursed in a fox's body, Hans traverse the land as he strives to be a better person and unlearn the rampant fascism that has encapsulated his entire life.
I can only reason reading the summary above is enough for people to put two-and-two together that this takes place in 1940s World War II. And it's even more obvious what Party Hans is involved in, so if that kind of background is not to your liking, I don't recommend it.
If it's any worth, the majority of the story takes place in said fictional fairy tale world, using it as a thematic drive to explore Hans' background to have him realize, pretty early, in fact, that his entire fascist view is wrong. It's clearly a lovingly-crafted story, the creator constantly peppers each page notes with trivia and facts about the time period (her bio states she's a historian.)
I've gone in and out with the comic (one of those "I'll check back when it updates a few page" sorta thing), but I appreciate the chutzpah of the creator to make its lead character a literal Nazi and going out of her way to explore what it is like to have lived in that specific time period with a society and culture that devalued so many people. How will Hans get out of this kind of thinking and be a better person? Are his actions forgivable? I kind of feel questions like these are somewhat balanced by Hans himself, who, rather than portrayed as some arrogant jackass, is instead rather timid and unsure of himself.
Hans Vogel Is Dead feels very much like a "We will be doomed to repeat history unless we learn it" kind of comic, which, shit, given the politic course my country is going through, having a comic like this educating on why being a dangerous bigot is an awful thing, feels appropriately well-timed.
13. Harpy Gee (https://www.harpygee.com/)
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SUMMARY: A young, magic-less elf enters the town of Podunk. There she has fantastical adventures with her new friends.
I know the summary's lacking, but 1.) I imagine most people already know about Harpy Gee or its artist. I've followed her stuff before she launched this comic because of wowie-zowie I would kill to use copic markers the way she does let me learn your ways coloring skills and 2.) That's kinda what Harpy Gee is.
For sure there are scenes, foreshadowing, and characters that launch off future plot points, but otherwise, Harpy Gee is like watching a family-friend cartoon. It's got the bright colors, often has cheesy little dialogues, magic and monsters, and every other little dangerous, but manageable adventures the main characters get into. It's a nice comic to read when you want to unwind, and I really dig how earnest it is with its kid-friendly appeal. There's not a drop of cynicism or edge to it; the optimism and sense of fun is what gives Harpy Gee so much of its charm.
The creator has since graduated to digital coloring (though she still inks her comics the ol' fashion way), but I really recommend checking out the early pages to see how she works her magic with markers. Like, I'm biased, my stuff is traditional artwork, so I'm endlessly fascinated when I DO see another webcomic in the wild doing the same, but her stuff is eye candy. Like *chef's kiss.*
14. Hoppscotch (https://z-t00n.tumblr.com/tagged/hoppscotch)
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SUMMARY: Bunch of animal people get into wacky shenanigans and boy, that is an understatement.
So, as far as I'm concerned, this comic is only hosted on the creator's tumblr page. It also doesn't have a cover and I wasn't very comfortable even posting a full page because of where its hosted, so I just took a small screencap of a couple of panels from a newer page to give an indicator of the kind of humor you are in for when reading Hoppscotch. (Though let me know if you'd rather this pic be removed.)
In any case, this comic wondered into my radar when a person I follow reblogged the one Hoppscotch comic with the exploding school bus. I remember scrolling down thinking it couldn't possibly get any more bizarre, but it kept elevating itself until I was left in awe at how GOOD with spontaneity it is. This is a comic that sets you up to think it'll go the expected route, but will often always, always go in a completely unpredictable, unhinged ending, and it gets me every. single. time. I haven't laughed so hard in a comic in a while. I was floored by its mastery of deranged comedy and I am genuinely looking forward to more.
A lot of this is really helped by the appealing artwork. Furries aren't in my radar, but I love the character designs. They're colorful, adorable, and really streamlined. Like this kinda has a mid-to-late 2000s Nicktoons/CN sorta vibe.
15. Kidd Commander (https://kiddcommander.com/)
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SUMMARY: Phineas Kidd vows to gather a crew so she can fly off to Kairos Crossing to accomplish her goal: to catch the Sun.
Kidd Commander immediately drew me in the moment I read "to catch the sun" in the comic's "About" page. Maybe it's my love for cosmic eldritch horrors. Maybe it's that one Specter Knight fancomic I'll never get to making where I have him literally cut the sun (long story), but whatever it is, I bookmarked the webcomic to read it when I had time because I had to know what the hell I was getting into.
And then I read it (as of this writing, I wrapped up the Mile High Engage arc and stopped shortly after I started the A Wretched Analog arc) and I sat there with my hand over my head, wondering, "What the heck did I just read?"
I mean that in the best way.
Kidd Commander is a dense webcomic. It pounds you deep into its constructed world, with terms that I admit, I'm still trying to make sense of. Mind you, the comic explains what I need to know. What is it about Kidd Commander is that it goes with the assumption that you, the reader, is not a moron. It won't hold your hand; it expects you to keep up with the characters' nuances, the nature of its world and how it exists, and every other little intricate of foreshadowing waiting to be unraveled. The creator has a degree in English literature and it shows, in that while this can be a wordy comic, it's less about how much is squeezed in a word balloon (of which Kidd Commander does fine), but the way it is written. If it isn't casual dialogue, then it gets evocative, especially when it gets serious and/or bigger plot stuff unravel.
After I finished the first arc (which was a sizable 440 pages), I had to take a breather. It can be overwhelming, but it's also a comic that is clearly driven both by passion and anger. It feels like the comic equ. of wanting to punch all the bastards that has ever wronged you. It wants to internally liberate itself as much as it hopes for you. Its constructed world genuinely feels like the creator's own, all the while drawing in the best of shonen comics (bonus points for the aesthetic airship. This bitch loves airships.)
I plan to read further into the comic, but I wanted to make sense of the world it has laid out first. And I found out that sometimes the best way for me to read a piece of fiction and really get to the meat is not through digital format, but physically in my hands.
So I ended up buying the book to do exactly that:
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I implore people to give Kidd Commander a shot. If you want something that feels so raw, built to give you a sense of catharsis to people of things with greater power that has wronged you, then this comic might as well be its spokesperson.
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Love Thorns All Over This Rose
Words: 2577
Warnings: angst, talks of a miscarriage, body image, talks of difficulty staying pregnant, mention of what is technically a still-birth, depression, suicidal thoughts, self-medicating, accidental suicide attempt (this is will make sense if you read it), probably poor writing and OOC characters but whatever
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IF THERE IS A WANT FOR A PART 2, I WILL DO ONE, IF NOT, THEN THIS STAYS AS A ONE-SHOT!
I mention Y/N goes to a church to pray, it is described more as a Christian or Catholic one (I really don't know the difference and I apologize) as she lights a candle before she prays. If you wish to skip that part, it starts with "Y/N hurried up the steps of the Cathedral." and ends with "Y/N nodded silently before turning and walking out.". I do also mention that the reader themselves aren't very religious (but grew up with it so reverted back to old practices to see if it helped)
Alfred is also dead in this (don't ask why he just is) so that's why he isn't here!
The POV here isn't really consistent. It jumps between being with the Batkids, Bruce, and Y/N's. I tried to make it flow though so hopefully that works!
 I feel like I should mention:
Bruce and Y/N's ages don't matter (I'm not in the mood to deal with that) but; Dick is 31 (and married to Kori but that's not too important), Jason is 25, Tim is 22, Damian is 15, Cass is 24, and Steph is 23
I also am not too familiar with Duke, so that is why he isn't there much. Mostly just mentioned
Anywho, enjoy
Love Z <3
7:25 AM
The kids watched as Y/N was silent as she put the plate down in front of Bruce's empty seat. They all noted how fake her smile looked as she looked up at them. "Alright, I will see you kids later!"
They all watched as she walked out of the dining room and once they knew she was out of earshot, they started talking.
"Did she eat anything?"
It was Jason, he had been the last down (well...outside of Tim) so he only saw her putting the plates down and ushering them to eat.
Dick shook his head, he had seen her the entire time she made breakfast. Fully clothed, which was unusual as she usually just made breakfast in her pajamas with her hair occasionally brushed. But not today. Today her hair was done, makeup was on, she was dressed as if she was working.
But everyone in that house knew she was still off after what happened, even though it had been 3 months since the incident.
Damian flicked at his food, "Ummi was supposed to take me to school today."
Dick smiled at Damian, "I can, Dami. Mom is just...preoccupied."
Damian hmphed and continued to play with his food. Dick was concerned for his younger brother. He knew that while he himself was close with the woman he had allowed to become his mother, Damian was so much more as she was really the only person who never got mad at him or made fun of him when he didn't understand something.
Jason abruptly stood, "Since mom isn't here, I'm just gonna go."
Dick raised a brow, "Really Jason? You're just gonna leave after--"
"Hey, we've been over this before Dick. I come because mom asks me to." He shrugged as he put his jacket on, "Plus, I'm going to follow her."
Stephanie snorted, "She'll kill you when she catches you."
"If she catches me. If."
Steph hummed, "My bets are on she will. Y/N is always on the lookout, especially after..." She faded and looked down, regret piling up inside her as she thought of what she was about to say.
"Either way, tell us what you find Jason."
He nodded to Dick's request before heading out the side door in the kitchen. Dick tapped his hand on the table for a minute before speaking; "I'm gonna go check on dad, Damian go get everything ready and I'll meet you at the entryway, alright?"
The eldest stood, placing a gentle hand on the youngest shoulder before heading to the stairs. Dick was concerned. He had never seen his mother so...shut off. Pretending like everything was alright even though everyone who saw her could tell that she was so close to jumping off of a bridge.
The closest that he had seen her to this was back when Jason died and she broke up with Bruce. But even then, she didn't avoid things that she had already planned. Even then, she stayed committed to things.
Plus, Dick knew she had no plans today. Well...no plans except for the fact that beforehand this would have been her due date. And he knew that that was most likely what had off-set her so badly.
Dick didn't even knock before opening the door to Bruce's study. He was even speaking before his father even looked up from his computer. "Have you talked to mom?"
Bruce raised a brow, "What?"
"Mom." Dick crossed his arms, "When was the last time you and her had a real conversation?"
Bruce shrugged, "I'm not sure." He looked at Dick oddly, "What are you going on about?"
Dick let out a hard sigh, "You two are married, it is your job to take care of her. Goddammit Bruce!" He threw his hands up in anger, "You know what? Nevermind, I'm not...I'm not even going to try."
He angrily turned and walked out of the room. He didn't even understand why he even thought that talking to Bruce would help. He just walked down the stairs and remembered his promise to get Damian to school. Trying to hide the anxiety he had that he didn't know what exactly his mom was doing.
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9:09 AM
Jason watched Y/N walk out of the convenience store all the way in Blüdhaven. From where he was, he couldn't see what she had bought, but the moment he saw her go into the store, he had messaged Tim to watch her bank account. To watch what she was purchasing. Something felt...off as he watched her.
Jason knew that after the...accident, Y/N had been hard to reach. To talk to. He knew that she and Bruce hadn't been sleeping in the same bed since that argument he had accidently heard them having around 3 weeks after everything happened. So 4 weeks ago.
Granted...from what he had heard, it wasn't even a fight that they had had. Mostly just words being thrown at the other. Words that Jason never thought that he would hear either one say to the other. Words that he never told any of his siblings that he heard. All out of fear that one of them would panic. And while sure, he had a disdain for Tim and Damian, that didn't mean he would ever let either of them know what he had heard.
Jason wasn't sure how long he had been watching her just sit in the car before Tim finally texted him a list of what Y/N had bought in the past week. And considering Jason had seen her previous bank records for a week, it was a sure red mark with how short it was.
Tim
In the past week she's gotten a lot of sleeping pills. That's basically all that she has gotten. That plus energy and pain pills. Duke is thinking she's self-medicating again
Jason sighed as he pocketed his phone when he saw his mom driving out of the parking lot. He kept a safe distance behind her as he followed her on her drive back to Gotham.
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12:15 PM
Y/N hurried up the steps of the Cathedral. Trying not to make a misstep and fall as well as trying not to draw attention to herself. She closed the umbrella over her head as she walked in. Placing it in the small holder, she brushed the front of her outfit as her heels clicked on the ground when she walked down the long hall.
Last time she was there was for her mothers funeral last year. Last time she had walked up and grabbed the larger candle to dip down and light the smaller one. Her heart pounded in her chest as she kneeled, words swimming through her head and mumbling off her lips.
She herself was never very religious, but having grown up that way, she wondered if praying like she did as a child would work. Praying that things would get better and that she would get better.
She shakily did the cross on her before standing and wiping the tears that had silently fallen away from her cheeks. She turned and started to make her way out of the church when she heard a voice call out her name:
"Mrs. Wayne! We were not expecting you here today, is everything alright?"
Y/N slowly turned to face one of the Nuns, a small, fake, smile on her face. "Oh yes, everything is alright Sister. Just came here to pray for a moment. I haven't in such a long time."
The nun nodded, "Very well, I hope the Good Lord hears your prayer and makes it happen."
Y/N nodded silently before turning and walking out. She grabbed her umbrella before opening the door and walking out. She practically ran back to her car, wanting to get in before anyone saw her out.
But Cass and Steph did. They watched her speed back to her car as they sat in the cafe across the way. Stephanie shook her head, "She never goes there. Especially not since her mothers deaths."
Cass nodded as Steph continued; "Something is seriously going on with Y/N. Maybe something else has happened that we don't know."
"She's been deteriorating for the past 4 weeks."
Steph raised a bow and inquired, "4 weeks?" Cass nodded, "Huh...weird, that's around a week after she came home from the hospital." She grabbed her phone and started typing in the groupchat that only held the kids (Damian not included):
Steph
when did Bruce disappear for a few days after Y/N came home?"
It didn't take long for Tim to respond
logs say he left 35 hours after she got home and came back 83 hours later why?
Cass
She's been slowly getting worse sense then
Jason
I overheard them arguing around 3 weeks after everything happened and I know they haven't been sleeping in the same room since then. And I'm not sure how important this is; but Tim checked her bank account and she bought different pills so me, him, and Duke think she's medicating again. Or that she's going to start again.
Cass and Steph looked at each other, concern and worry was on their faces as they read Jason's last message. Something started unnerving them as they thought of the things she could possibly do if she was going to start medicating again.
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3:25 PM
Y/N looked at her body in the mirror. Her hands came to lay on her stomach. Just like she did before. Tears brimmed in her eyes as she stared at her flatter stomach. She breathed shakily as her hands fell down to her sides.
Why?
Was all she ever asked.
Why me? Why did this happen to me?
She was so confused. She had always been good. Done everything to be a good person. But yet she still had that happen to her. Was she just not meant to be a mother?
Of course...she was one. She was a mother to 4 amazing boys and 1 beautiful girl. But still...it was different. Yes, those 5 children were hers, but that one. That singular one that she had carried for nearly 7 months had meant so much to her. Especially after being told time and time again it wouldn't happen.
It wasn't even the first time it had happened. She had had miscarriages before...but that wasn't what it was this time. The kidnapping. Bruce and the kids had found her after 2 days. The emergency c-section to save the baby.
But she knew. Of course she knew. She knew it had died.
Her baby girl. She had died before she even got the chance to live.
Y/N shakily breathed as she grabbed one of the bottles from the counter. She had thought it was the pain medication. But it hadn't been.
Sleeping meds.
Ever since it happened she had hardly been able to sleep. Nightmares of what happened still plagued her mind. Bruce yelling at her still echoed in her brain. Those...twisted words he said echoed inside of her.
She had popped a few in her mouth before dry-swallowing them and getting into the bath she had started earlier. The hot water felt like it was searing her skin, but she didn't care. She wondered if maybe she did this enough, whoever was above would forgive her of her sins and let her keep a pregnancy.
She wasn't sure how long she had stayed in the water before it became difficult to keep her head above water. Her body just felt so heavy. She wondered what pain meds she had grabbed at the store. She couldn’t remember them making her feel this way before. After a few moments of struggling to keep her head up, she felt her body sink down and under the water. But even as she felt water rush into her nose and fill her lungs, she couldn't bring herself to move and get out.
She just accepted her fate.
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3:30 PM
Bruce sat in his office, a bad feeling settling in his stomach. Something was telling him to check on Y/N. See if she was alright. He knew she had returned around 20 minutes ago, the security cameras had caught her walking in.
He carefully stood from his desk and walked out of his office. He walked down the oddly quiet halls of the manor. A small feeling of pain and guilt started to eat at him as he got closer to the guest room she had been staying in. He knew she was struggling. He knew that she needed him today. But he just...couldn't.
He was selfish. He knew this.
He knew he was so goddamn selfish. Caring about his own feelings rather than helping his wife. She had been the one to physically go through everything. She had been the one to bear that trauma.
He had been so incredibly selfish since she had come home from the hospital. He had even begun to wonder why she even stayed in the manor.
But as he opened the door to the guest room, unrest settled inside him as he saw she wasn't there but the bathroom door was open. It was silent. He had known his wife long enough to know she never was silent in the bathroom. She almost always had music playing.
He pushed the bedroom door further open as he walked further in. Anxiety started to reach a breaking point as he walked into the bathroom.
And time felt like it moved in slow-motion as he saw her state. Her knees bent out of the water, her head under. He saw the three bottles of pills on the counter. He saw the open one read sleep on them. He ran over to the tub, grabbing under her arms and pulling her out.
He bent down, trying to listen for a heartbeat. He felt like his own heart stopped as he heard nothing. Not even a faint thump of one. He quickly moved to her side and started CPR.
Everything still felt like it was moving slower than it was as he pushed down on her sternum. Tears gathered in his eyes as he repeatedly slammed down onto her. As he breathed into her mouth. He didn't stop. He couldn't stop.
It felt like an eternity had passed by the time he finally had gotten the CPR to work. She began to cough profusely, water spluttering everywhere. He sobbed as he heard her shallow breaths break through the air.
He heard the noise of Dick's voice breaking. "Mom?"
He looked at him, seeing both him and Damian staring at the scene in front of them. Staring as their father held their mother in his arms. As tears fell from his eyes, he pleaded for them to call 911.
It was with shaky hands that Dick did it. His words sounded choked back, he kept stuttering. Trying to say what he was supposed to but his mind was running at a million miles and and half a mile a second at the same time. Everything felt fuzzy and he had no idea what he was supposed to do. All that he knew was that he walked in on his dad doing CPR on his mom.
That was all he knew.
That was all Dick knew.
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cyb3rtarot · 10 months
Text
What Messages are Coming Through in Your Dreams?
Disclaimer: tarot readings are not replacements for professional advice. Take what resonates; don’t force a reading to fit. This is just a look into some of the energies in your dreams, not a comprehensive reading of what all your dreams mean. I used a recolored Smith-Waite, Tarot of Mystical Moments, Zerner-Farber Tarot, Oracle of the Radiant Sun, the Chakra Oracle, and runes.
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pile 1↝pile 2 pile 3↝pile 4
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Pile 1:
Cards: four of wands, the hermit, empress rx, flattery (Venus in Gemini, 3rd house)|| exaltation (Moon in Taurus, 2nd house), queen of swords sideways, sharing (queen of action), completion, page of pentacles rx, page of swords, Ehwaz rune
The Dreams: hi pile one! Your energy came through strongly so your dreams could be more intense and vivid right now. You could also be having more bad dreams. You may feel like you’re in another realm or some kind of fantasy world while sleeping. In these dreams you could feel little control over anything or like you’re a different person. Like you’re “you” but feeling the experience of someone else. This could include very strong emotions. For example, melancholy you don’t feel while awake. Your dreams could be lonely during this time; you may frequently end up by yourself, others are far away, or they turn on you (one scenario I’m seeing is getting ostracized at a party). You might also feel like you’re having similar dreams repeatedly. Some of you are flip-flopping between these deeper dreams and lighthearted ones. Despite the contents, some of you are using dreams and sleep as an escape or coping mechanism.
Themes that could be common in your dreams right now: the moon (especially full), night time, the beach/ocean, planets in the sky. Palm trees, masculine side characters (one recurring in particular), sports jerseys, crying, flowing robes, pregnancy (especially a sudden one), gas stations, corner/convenience stores, brown or brick buildings, a different country, gray clouds or white skies, eating snacks, being a side piece or cheated on, feeling unappreciated, being ostracized or abandoned, a new family, being lied to, real life conflicts or enemies, the dream starting good and turning bad
The Messages: your subconscious is processing a lot right now which is partly why your dreams seem fantastical and out of control. But your dreams are also reflecting conscious fear. There’s a sense of imprisonment in your own mind while awake and it continues in your dreams. Huge themes in your cards are fertility, birth, and abundance. For a chunk of you, this is literal as I was picking up on a pregnancy around 5-9 months. But in general, your dreams are portraying something coming into fruition or being birthed, like something you’ve wanted or worked really hard on for a long time. The cycle is almost complete, but at this last step there’s hesitancy on your end. There’s a split between people in this pile who are making big physical changes like moving, starting a family etc, versus people who have gone through a big internal transformation and are holding onto limiting beliefs (overlapping for many). Whatever developments are coming feel inevitable and time-based; I don’t think you’re “blocking” it. But I do feel like there's a lot of present joy you can partake in if only you will accept it. I am never encouraging you to not think or to do something that’s toxic for you, I am only encouraging you to find a healthy balance between your rational and emotional sides :] When you deny yourself comfort or joy hopefully it’s for a strong reason, not because you’re afraid to be happy. I do see a lot of you have done significant shadow and healing work already, and now you’re in a transitory period. There’s also highly personal signs in your dreams, some from your guides. Your dreams are showing you one half of a story or sentence. You’re being encouraged to fill the other half through your own analysis instead of accepting your dreams as the full picture. It’s important to be realistic with this; don’t immediately take the worst case scenario of your nightmares and say it must be real life lol
Extra Details: just went through an upsetting time, Brazil, dark hair, love interest from another culture, very bright blue eyes, disappointment in love, a brother energy or friend who’s like a brother, Japan, Portugal, conflict with friends/family/neighbors (all 3 at once for some), mermaids, weddings, photoshoots, 4444, fear of abandonment due to trauma. One or some of you experienced a miscarriage in the past and you may be projecting that trauma onto future hopes for a family. For others this is fear caused by something you really wanted falling through and an opportunity to try again. Experiencing healthy, loyal love after toxic past love. Creative projects. Travel delays. Visas. 90 day fiancé?
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Pile 2:
Cards: two of wands, king of pentacles, seven of pentacles, birth (Venus in Cancer, 4th house)|| five of cups rx, ten of pentacles rx, ace of cups rx, friendship (Moon in Cancer, 4th house), the world, Jera rune
The Dreams: hello pile two! Like pile one I see your dreams feeling lonely, though for you it does seem like there are people talking to you in them. These dreams could feel very nostalgic, melancholic, or empty, as if you’re in your own world. I’m also seeing disappointment—dreams where you are longing for something deeply. Dreams where you experience a taste of what you want in real life, and they make you feel worse when you wake up. You might not even get to enjoy those moments. They could feel aimless, like there’s no plot or point to them. I see scenes where people are talking to you, but it seems like both of you don’t really want to be there. Like everyone’s nihilistic or apathetic. The dreams could also be extremely beautiful but you don’t notice it at the time. You could dream about people and places you loved in your youth, even fictional ones. Some of you might feel like you’re playing a game or in a game in your dreams? If you felt drawn to pile one I encourage you to take a look!
Themes that could be common in your dreams right now: childhood home or town, driving down long roads, bright/pretty sunsets, the ocean/coast, small towns or villages, dreams centered on conversations, friends and love interests you don’t know in real life or from childhood, video games, something out of grasp, pregnancy, travel, expensive cars, walking down the street, everyone being unhappy, the countryside, feeling used, being rich, being in a relationship, the Sun as an odd color (like purple), young children
The Messages: you guys have an energy of mourning in two different ways. One, mourning for a part of yourself that was lost from your earlier youth, or something left behind. There might be a loss of innocence, wonder, or happiness; a natural self acceptance that no longer comes easy to you. On the other side of this, I see some of you have lost people who were important when you were younger. For some this is due to a passing, but for others the relationship came to a close. Whatever this perceived lack is, it weighs heavily and comes through your dreams in the form of beautiful but melancholic nostalgia. The good times are right there, but you can’t fully enjoy them. Dreams where people are unhappy, apathetic, or ticked off could reflect a falling out, feeling like you let someone down (including yourself), or that you can’t make amends. Your dreams are a reminder that it’s the natural progression of life for things to end and begin anew. This doesn’t lessen the burden, but as time keeps moving so do you. Grieve and feel your feelings, learn lessons, but remember there’s still life for you to enjoy. There are new things to be found. Try heavy-handed self-compassion and forgiveness. Though there’s a focus on what’s no longer there, there’s a sense of acceptance. A few of you have just come out of a heavy healing period and might be feeling things you haven't felt since childhood. Or, you may suddenly remember things from childhood.
Extra Details: 555, longing for a better life, RPG games (particularly JRPGs), racing or racing games, vintage, having lived with a friend or relative of similar age to you, having lived near water, feeling like the world is changing too much, periwinkle, a child passing (already happened. A cousin or sibling?), going to therapy or being a therapist, a falling out with multiple friends (I’m mostly getting two friends), feeling numb, lonely, a friend who always wears their hair in a ponytail, a masculine friend with dark, big hair and glasses, empty villages, Japan, regressing. I see a lack of adult presence in childhood. Growing up, you might’ve felt like you only had those few friends or cousins to depend on, even though you were too young to take care of each other.
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Pile 3:
Cards: Temperance, four of wands, the Empress rx, devotion (Saturn in libra, 7th house), consciousness rx, devotion, traveling, the outsider rx, new vision rx|| king of wands sideways, king of pentacles sideway, the emperor, the high priestess, the emperor rx, defense (Mars in Taurus, 2nd house), seven of wands rx, Tiwaz rune
The Dreams: hi pile three! I feel like you guys are not remembering dreams as much right now, or only remembering fragments. There are more nights where you feel like you didn’t dream. This is my pile that’s astral projecting at bed time, and this is part of why I picked up on less dreams (both purposeful and not. Some of you just started doing this). Whether through the astral or your dreams, you’re having adventures that are opposite your real life experience. I see you guys having dreams others may think scary—like being chased, but you’re just vibing. There’s a sense of being stuck, trapped, or stagnant in real life; there’s also a lack of understanding and denial about your desires. Your dreams are fulfilling repressed wants by sending you to any and everything you don’t do in real life. The subconscious aspect of your desires is partly why so many fantastical elements make their way into this other life. Many of you also like watching and reading speculative genres (particularly horror, sci-fi, and fantasy), and this is also why those elements are in your dreams. Your dreams seem like a means of escape and fun to balance your day and night. To combat feeling trapped, you could have dreams of running far away from a creature, or exploring somewhere beautiful. A specific part of this pile has dreams of being in romantic relationships, and while you may genuinely not want one right now, it could represent another desire such as socialization. Your day and night are actual opposites haha. This was strange but there was a strong pull between this pile and pile 4, I felt like some of you have friends that would be in pile 4 (or you may resonate with some details yourself if you feel drawn to it).
Themes that could be common in your dreams right now: night time/full moons, fantasy creatures and companions (I saw green goblins? And vampires), historical settings, castles, feeling creepy, eerie emptiness, bats, forests, villages or towns (especially empty ones), pine trees, green meadows and hills, bright flowers, butterflies, cabins, scary situations but not feeling scared, theaters or plays (red curtains?), places that look like fairytales, being attracted to a character in the dream (even the bad guys lol), people you know as background characters, real life events replaying with different outcomes
Messages: your dreams or astral travels are a reminder of your real life potential! You guys don’t always have to hold the fort down. I feel like you portray an easygoing attitude and convince yourself you’re just okay with whatever. There are many highly spiritual people in this group, and you may feel like physical life doesn’t matter as much because your spiritual life has the real depth. But the astral and dream world are not meant to replace the 3D world. Your capacity to have these experiences is proof that you have amazing things in you, and if you wish, you can seek amazement in the waking world too. It’s very much within your capacity! I also feel like some of you guys have a “duty,” like there’s a constant responsibility you shoulder (or that you’re assigned), and you feel like you should just accept it peacefully. Your sense of duty is wonderful, but please also have one towards yourself! A lot of you guys want to travel internationally and the main blockage is your own self limits.
Extra Details: Latino (specifically Mexican for a chunk of you), Eastern Europe, Germany, 414, Titanic (the movie? You might find it romantic), “hit the road,” Indigenous American, travel list, familial responsibility, dissatisfied with a job, straight brown or black hair (reaches top of back), big eyes, stressed but can’t tell under the numbness, going through the motions, feeling on the defense or like a side character in your own life, having a job to pay bills but not a career, wanting to run away, feeling like your spiritual skills are developing too fast, rubbing hands on face when stressed (I see someone standing in a hallway outside their boss’ office, rubbing their face and then carrying on), literally taking the trash out (during the night, or to a dumpster in an alley?), over-sacrificing oneself, court or legal matters (including working in law), believing in fairies, or astral travels involving fairies, fairy rings near ponds?
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Pile 4:
Cards: egotism (mars in leo, 5th house), eight of swords rx, ten of pentacles rx, the lovers rx,|| truthfulness (throat chakra), imagination (brow chakra), riches (saturn in capricorn, 10th house), fulfillment (saturn in sagittarius, 9th house), the fool, eight of wands, eight of pentacles, nine of pentacles, king of swords, the magician, Fehu rune
The Dreams [CW for creepiness]: hi pile four! First I’ll say there was a strong link between this pile and pile 3, so if you feel drawn to it maybe check it out! There are similarities with you two having dreams with fantastical creatures popping up, and having dreams that others would deem as nightmares. You might also only remember little fragments right now. However, I feel you guys out of all the piles are having the most actual nightmares. I saw dreams that started out nice and calm then suddenly flip. There could be random characters popping up out of nowhere that don’t match the dream at all, like clowns or mascots. You might also have a lot of dreams where you feel watched, or are being watched by something in the background. Dreams where you feel a strong need to escape; you might feel preyed upon, followed, or anxious. It mostly seems like any weird things in your dream just “linger” instead of actually harming you, though there might be the occasional attempt. There’s also a strong sense of nostalgia, but tainted? Like you can’t enjoy it because of whatever else is going on, or it’s a reminder of what’s been lost as you’ve grown up. These dreams feel like you’re often alone except for whatever is loitering around you. Or when there’s someone else there, it’s like they’re kind of flat? Like a memory being replayed. A lot of you guys could dream of your grandmother. You might have dreams that actually look like “dreamcore.”
Themes that could be common in your dreams right now: beautiful places (I’m seeing a village by a gigantic mountainside, very bright blue skies, fluffy white clouds), cozy homes/cabins, grandmacore, cooking or eating, bananas?, PB&J?, having extremely different dreams everyday or in one night, scary creatures just standing there, feeling like you have to fight or survive, friends or partners from years before, caves, grimace??, eyes (floating eyes?), shadows, jumpscares
The Messages: Your cards got me riled up! I feel like a good chunk of your life, maybe up until right now, has been very tumultuous. You had to hold on and just find strength to survive, and this caused you to repress a lot. Your dreams are calling you to face what you’ve repressed—your shadow—because you are quickly entering a completely different era. It feels like all the ways you’ve had to struggle and fight are going to start giving way to a new life filled with things that bring fulfillment or contentment. I’m not sure exactly what these blessings are but they spoke of freedom, abundance, and new opportunities. It did seem like these are blessings you’ll bring about by your own hand instead of completely unexpected ones. Despite how off-putting or strange your dreams may be, they are prompting you to resolve things from the past that would make the future difficult to appreciate. We all carry scars, but doing our best to heal them will allow us to create a more joyful existence. What are the things you’ve pushed deep down that have been begging to come out? I do feel like some of you have been manipulated into staying silent, maybe about the way you were treated and harmed, and this has created a stifled feeling. I don’t know your individual situation, but I greatly wish for you to find a space where you can safely and truthfully exist. If you feel you need the help of a professional to do healing work or to escape any dangerous situations please research what’s accessible to you!!
Extra Details [TW abuse mention]: swears a lot, childhood trauma or abuse (some of you are still in contact with harmful people from your childhood and this is influencing you), Central Europe or Belgium, very close to a grandmother (especially one who’s passed), blockages in throat energy (could have trouble speaking up for yourself, saying what you mean, stumbling on words, or you REALLY want to talk about something), toxic or abusive friends, having no one to support you, you might just want to scream, seeing sequential numbers (like 234) or 8 a lot, feeling pulled towards a career where you use your voice or express yourself (writer, singer, motivational speaker, artist, communications), absent parents, a great new job or financial opportunity, lots of astral projection and lucid dreaming in this pile but also physically moving and traveling (some of you could go look at places you want to travel to in the astral or dream realm lol, or some of you AP into space? Cool. I also see someone AP-ing or lucid dreaming somewhere with a lot of vegetation), environmental activism, your childhood home or town being renovated/changed, rectangular glasses (thin frame), major Capricorn or Saturn in chart. If you already felt drawn to pile 2, you may resonate with it also.
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soaringwide · 5 months
Text
Pick a Card: Month Ahead #01
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This was written for May 2024 but with the intention to be timeless, so even if you find it later there might be a message for your next month.
We'll look into your energy coming into the month, but also what will be the theme/area of focus and what you'll need to pay attention to, as well as the surprises that might come your way.
It's my first time doing a pick a card like this so we'll see how it turns out! I love doing those privately though.
As always, be mindful that this is a general reading meant for multiple people so it might not be 100% fitting for your situation, and that it's based on the energy you hold at the moment of selecting a pile that draws you to one of them.
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PILE 1
Cards: Page of Cups, Queen of Wands, 9 of Cups, Ace of Swords, the Emperor, Strength, 5 of Cups, the Moon, Queen of Cups, 5 of Wands rx, Ace of Pentacles, 4 of Cups, Page of Wands
For your energy coming into the month, I see you being in a state of being in tune with your heart, opening up to the possible rise of a new romantic connection. I get the sense that you're cautiously optimistic about it, because while you feel confident within yourself and in a happy place, you're also aware that it's too early to tell. But you're not letting that deter you and you're fully embracing your own power, feeling good about yourself and where you're at while looking ahead hopefully and waiting for an opportunity to move forward. I think for you the process of the month ahead has already started a bit before the start of the new month and you're continuing the process.
When it comes to the theme of the month, I see the importance of putting your emotional fulfillment at the forefront and being actively working towards it. There is a need to bring clarity about the situation, clarity that will bring you contentment and tie loose ends. You will be determined to work through that with willpower and determination by taking the lead and stop wasting time around. I think you are seeing the path forward for this connection and you're determined to go for it and not let it escape. You got four cards here and they all represent a different element, which I interpret as the fact that harmony within and for yourself will be a big theme as well. Between your feelings, your thoughts and your actions, everything will be grounded in your authentic self.
I think these past few months have not always been great for you and you're determined to leave that behind and enter the new chapter of your life. You've learned all you had to about your old ways and now you're ready for a change. So for the goal you'll have in mind, you will be focused on not falling back into the same patterns of thoughts and behaviors and keep moving forward with determination and a sense that you can't go back to what you once where.
The challenge that will arise will come from your own psyche. I get the sense that you still have unresolved issues within yourself that may cloud this great picture, so you will have to be extra careful about not letting your fears and doubts making you spiral down and do or say something that doesn't align with your truth. You might go through times where you feel irritable or anxious and you may take that as a proof that things are going to shit again and you might want to run away, but it's an illusion. It just means that you still have some inner clutter to sort out. Be careful about not shutting yourself off from others as a reaction to your inner pain.
When it comes to a surprise coming your way, it seems there will be an event that will create a shift from a confusing and chaotic situation to one of open communication of feelings, laying out a more positive base for the future. I'm getting the sense that this is what the theme of the month was referring to, and while you seek it, you don't really know how it will unfold so it will still be a surprise when it happens. When this even happens, be as open and honest as possible in order to clear out any possible miscommunication, be kind and listen to what the other person has to say with empathy and love at heart.
What you'll have gained by the end of the month will be a stable and solid start towards the future. Things are blossoming but you'll have learned that there's no point rushing into anything and that things come when the time is right. You'll be set to build on that for the months to come. Maybe the start of a new commitment although things are in their very early stage.
As a final advice, it is important not to shut yourself off from your emotions and not to stay stuck in your old ways of remaining passive. Stay open and assertive, go after what you want and I get the strong message that you need to communicate openly about everything that isn't clear in this connection. Don't just wait around for things to fall onto your lap. Be passionate and enthusiastic and again be clear about your intentions. Also, you're learning something new and important so be gentle with yourself if you don't get everything perfectly from the get go, what matters is to do your best.
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PILE 2
Cards: King of Wands, Queen of Cups, the Lovers rx, 8 of Cups rx, Queen of Pentacles, Ace of Swords, Memento Mori, 10 of Swords, King of Pentacles, Queen of Wands, 2 of Wands, The Chariot, Knight of Pentacles, 6 of Pentacles, 3 of Cups rx, 7 of Cups
For the general vibe of this pile, it feels a bit overwhelming like there is so much to pay attention to that you are somewhat disconnected from yourself as a result, because your feelings are so confusing that you get lost in them. There are A LOT of court cards, which may mean that there is a situation that brings the intervention of a lot of different people, perhaps it will be busy at work, or something involving family, creating a very messy situation where everyone has something to say and you can't hear yourself anymore. Really there is so much external influences here that I had a hard time picking up on YOU until the end of the reading.
For the energy you have coming into the month, I really think you are in a committed relationship with someone (and if not it's not your pile), but there is a big disharmony here. It seems one of you is on the way out of the relationship (represented by the King of Wands), and the fact that the Queen of Wands shows as a challenge later in the reading, I'm getting that this person already has someone in mind. It seems you are longing for the way the relationship used to be and it feels over, but you are having difficulties moving on right now. It's also possible you're just longing for the idea of Love altogether and wishing you could drop everything you have right now to run towards it. There is a choice to be made but right now at the end of the month, you are not making a move one way or another.
The theme of the month to come for you pile 2 makes a lot of sense considering what I already wrote. You will have to focus on your own clarity and get grounded in yourself, trying to find stillness in the chaos that surrounds you in order to get the answers you need, based on your own guidance. I'm also getting that you feel resistant to change and the call of life, and that you may feel a bit dead inside and numb as a result. There is a need to find excitement for the miracle of life again which has been lost due to your complex situation. ''The meaning is in the Middle'' is what's written on the card and writing down in case it speaks to anyone.
For what you'll consciously focus on this month, I'm getting just like...trying not to break down completely and at the same time keeping up with your demanding job and practical life issues. Perhaps this impending breakup is causing financial stress and you don't know how things will turn out. So your goal will be navigating that in order to stay on top of things both mentally and professionally/financially.
Okay this is where it finally clicks because I was confused whether you where the one with the third party of the one who is perhaps cheated on. With the King of Pentacles longingly looking at the Queen of Wands (the third party I mentioned before - don't take gender into account though) standing next to him, I'm getting that YOU are wondering how to welcome this new passionate connection into your busy life and how to make it fit from a practical standpoint with your current relationship. The Queen seems to be both a challenge and an opportunity, I don't necessarily get that this Queen is a bad omen, it's just a difficult situation that require a choice on your part.
For the unexpected thing that will happen this month, I'm not getting a particular event but rather, how it will change the course of what you're doing. This surprise will force you to weight your options and start pursuing what you desire, getting out of that rut you are in. There will be progress moving forward as I don't think you'll be left indecisive for too long. There is a sense of urgency here, whether it's perceived or true, you will feel it deeply and it will push you into actions. You will be surprised by how determined you suddenly feel after the indecision of the past.
What will be gained after the month ends is a newfound stability as you'll have regained your footing. From that point in the spread it's like things have cleared up a bit and there's open space. There is a new beginning on the horizon but unlike the urgency that led you to that point, there is now the need to take things slow and build strong foundations.
The advice you got was that, well, it's time to choose what you want to do with this third party. You can't keep holding things like that without making a choice. You might also need to distance yourself from bad influences around you like friends or family and again focus on yourself. The second advice is about restoring some type of balance between giving and taking. It seems someone has or will give you something and you'll have to give something in return so that not to break the flow of the relationship.
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PILE 3
Cards: 4 of Swords rx, 8 of Pentacles, 4 of pentacles, 3 of Pentacles rx, 7 of Pentacles, 9 of Pentacles, 5 of Wands, 9 of Wands, Justice, 4 of Wands, King of Cups, the Moon, 9 of Swords, Temperance, 6 of Swords, the Fool
For your energy coming into the month, I see that you might have been feeling burnt out for a while now due to over-exhausting yourself with work or your studies, something you've put a lot of care and energy into in any case. You feel stagnant and somewhat demotivated and the whole thing is weighting on you. It's like you've put so much effort into working on this issue that you feel totally depleted emotionally. However, you can't seem to let go a bit in order to get things flowing again and you remain stuck, fearing everything is going to go to waste if you relax a bit.
The theme of this month will be to find your support system and reach out for help in order to get you to find new solutions to your issue. Not everything can be done alone. Furthermore, not every project can be rushed through all the time, sometimes you have to let it rest for a bit and let it grow under the surface of the soil. You will find great benefit from focusing on your own enjoyment and pleasure for a change in order to find a new perspective on your situation.
Despite that, it seems your mind will still be set on proving yourself this month. It's like, you feel burnt out and stagnant, and instead of getting the cue that you need to slow down a bit, you look at others and wonder why you can't hustle like them. Basically you're sensing there is an issue but you're trying to solve it in a toxic way by comparing yourself to others and feeling threatened by their success, triggering your self esteem issues.
The challenged you will have to face have to do with accepting to restore the balance in your life and take a break to have a bit of fun. Sounds like a false problem but it seems it's quite difficult for you to do at the moment because you're so focused on your tasks. It's a critical point though because if you don't cut off the toxic behaviors that are burying you into the ground, you will face the repercussions of your own non-action further down the line. You might have a hard time socializing because your heart is not there and you might feel left out, even though it would do you good to get a change of scenery and get out of your cave for a while.
For the unexpected thing that will happen this month, this will have to do with some type of emotional reconnection that will lead to more balance. It's very possible that it'll be uncomfortable at first as all the negative feelings you've been pushing under the rug all this time are resurfacing, but if you manage to stay afloat you will find a greater sense of mastery over them. I'm not getting anything precise as to what's gonna happen, but it will have to do with you being forced to take the blindfolds off and finally pay attention to your mental health. This might be the inner crisis you need to get back in a better shape.
What will have been gained by the end of the month has to do with leaving behind this way of doing and thinking you were holding onto at the beginning of the month. You will finally be able to get moving again, even if it will feel somewhat bitter and hard to do, remember it's for the better because you could not keep going on like you did.
The advice for you to help you navigate things is to not take everything so seriously all the time. Don't focus too much on what's not working or what you could do better or even on what you can't control, but try to find hope and the sense that a new beginning is at hand if only you open yourself up to it. Whoever is sending you this advice really encourages you to enjoy the little things and find your youthful spirit again. Things won't stay bleak forever so the best thing you can do is let yourself move along the stream.
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Note
Hi! I’m not sure if this has been requested before but I’ve been working nonstop lately. I’m completely worn out and desperate for a day off. So, I was wondering how you think tangerine would react to this sort of situation with his gf/wife/partner- being very overworked, exhausted, tense, stressed, anxious? In need of some comfort, fluff, love and reassurance. -🤍
Thank you so much, I love you!!
hii!! im pretty sure it has, but that’s no problem. make sure to take care of yourself angel, really sorry you’re so tired, hopefully this can be of some comfort. thank you for requesting, hope you like it💌 I love you and hope you’re doing as well as you can be xx
ignore kimura’s hand 😭 the pic is just really hot
TAKE A BREAK.
tangerine x fem!reader — fluff & comfort
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word count. 637
Tangerine had noticed a change within you recently. Though it wasn't hard, anyone could.
He could see it in your eyes, the exuberant shine almost fading with every one of your early starts and late finishes. And those tired, half-smiles you'd give him when he questions it only prove his point more.
He knew you were under a lot of stress lately, everything in your life catching up with you, and all he wanted was to help you. Even if it was carrying your weight on his shoulders for a few minutes - anything just to give you a moment of ease.  
It had gone past midnight, but you were nowhere close to finishing the massive assigned workload. The dining table filled with stacks of your papers, the surface repurposed as an office desk once again. By now, the words on the page were far from legible, the lines blurring and swirling together as you pushed through the last section.
"I don't get it," you mutter to yourself, dropping your head into your hands. 
"What don't you get?" Tangerine asks, appearing in the doorway as if he were a genie.
"I don't know," you mumble, rubbing your face in your palms. "All of it... it doesn't make sense— none of it does. And I've been reading it over and over and," you cut yourself off with a sigh, looking over the array of papers in front of you. 
"Come on, now," he hushes, moving across the room to stand in front of you. "You're knackered. You need good sleep," he adds, placing his hands on either side of your head, making you face him. 
"I can't. I have so much to do," you faintly exhale - the sound weary and worn down. 
His thumbs glide under your eyes, the pads running over the dark circles and tired skin - the act as if he were trying to soothe you. "I'll help you out in the morning, alright? But not now. You need'a sleep."
"I can't," you softly shake your head, his hands moving with the faint movement. "I can't sleep knowing how much work I have."
He sighs, his head cocking to the side to maintain the eye contact you were so desperate to get out of. "When you hurt, I hurt. And you're hurting a lot right now, aren't'ya?"
The lack of response from you, silently answers his question. 
"That's what I thought," he says, leaning over to press a kiss into your hairline. "I'll lock up. You go get ready for bed, yeah?" he laces his hands into yours, helping you from the seat. "I'll follow up in a minute."
You do as asked and get ready for bed, continuing the rest of your routine from a couple hours before - brushing your teeth and peeing, changing back into pyjamas. You get into your side of the bed, the comfort almost immediately soothing the aches in your body.
As promised, Tangerine follows closely behind, entering the bedroom with a glass of water in one hand and a pack of paracetamol in the other. He makes his way around the bed to your side, setting the glass and painkillers on your nightstand.
He gets in bed from his side, slipping under the covers, his arms instinctively reaching for you under them. He pulls you towards him, holding you tight. 
"Can you give me food poisoning tomorrow?" you attempt a joke, burying your face into his chest. 
"I'd rather throw myself down the stairs and break my legs and then sit in A&E all night so you could get the day off," he whispers, stroking over the back of your head.
"Might try that myself."
He presses a kiss into your cheek, tucking your face back into the comfort of his chest. "Enough now, get some sleep."
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pit-and-the-pen · 4 months
Text
I'll Crawl Home to Her- Chapter 4
A/n: So I’m pivoting a little bit with this series. In the last chapter, I had reader with Rhys a lot and I’m fighting the urge to rewrite it, but from here on out it’s going to be a lot more of the inner circle stuff while Rhys and Feyre are doing their own thing. I didn’t like how much  I relied on the dialogue straight from the book for chapter 3 so hopefully this makes it a little better to write and more interesting to read! 
Strap in because a lot happens in this chapter. Also this is mostly unedited because my brain in soup at this point.
Warnings: Cannon level description of violence, blood, brief mention of trauma (Rhys and Readers history with Tamlin), suggestive thoughts/language (as always let me know if I missed anything)
WC:19k
Previous chapters: [prologue] [chapter 1][chapter 2][chapter 3]
NExt chapter [Here]
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“I don’t get why I wasn’t invited.” Cassian whined, leaning back in the wide backed chair. I knocked his feet from their place on the coffee table and he stumbled as the legs of the chair touched the ground.
“Because last time you were there you fucked someone’s wife and destroyed their house in your attempt to get away.” 
“In my defense, she didn’t tell me she was married.” He grumbled out, crossing his arms like the petulant child he was. 
“Try telling that to her husband.” I continued to tease him. 
“I did.” 
“Children, children.” Mor chided Cassian and I. A bored wave of her hand causing Cassian to turn his attention to her instead. I smiled widely as the two of them started going back and forth. 
Eventually Rhys and Azriel came to collect Cassian. 
“Sorry, boys night.” My brother said, shooting me a wink when I tried to argue. “Don’t pout at me.”
“They’re just afraid they’d lose their ass if they let us play.” Mor returned, all of the males sputtering out a chorus of protests. 
True to their word, they didn’t let Mor or myself join them. Going as far as to lock the door to Rhys’ study. Their loud shouts could be heard from where Mor and I sat together down the hall. 
Mor was swiping the second layer of a silver and black sparkle nail polish on my hand. 
“Are you nervous about going to summer?” She asked casually. 
“Hardly.” Even I wasn’t convinced by my words. Mor raised an inquisitive eyebrow at me. “Fine. I’m just worried we won’t get the book. We’ve only tested this theory of Feyre’s powers once and that was Rhys’ magic.”
“You think the bond could let her sense it.” I nodded.
“It’s not impossible. Even if she hasn’t accepted it. She could be inherently drawn to things that have ties to him. I just have to hope my brother is right.” I stopped talking to start blowing my nails dry. Shaking them slightly while I did so. Mor turned to her own nails, brushing a blood red polish over them. 
The summer court was just as beautiful as I remember it. I was immediately greeted by the smell of sea salt, even the sunshine smelt different. The humidity in the air laced it with something I could not put my finger on but warmed every part of my body. My skin felt instantly sticky, suddenly very grateful for the flowing white halter dress I had picked for myself that morning. 
Even though it was early in the morning, the city below the palace was already teeming with life. Merchant carrying various baskets full of goods, ships sailing in and out of the docks. The rope bridges swayed slightly in the breeze as people flurried about. 
We had winnowed right in front of the palace. The purple and green sea glass doors opened at our arrival. It had been at least a century since the last time I visited this place, enough time that I was in awe of the scene in front of me. As much as I loved my home Velaris, there was something about the lightness of this palace that called to me. The full walls of sea glass and shells embedded into the floor, covered with some shiny surface that didn’t make it painful to walk on.Light chiffon fabric  in pastel purples, seafoam green, baby pinks, and, buttery yellows adorned the chairs and curtains. The sun that shone through the glass walls tinted with all the colors around us. I was still gawking when Tarquin approached us. The time since he came back had been kind to him. His dark skin more bronzed and his long white hair was  braided and adorned with various shells, he was heart stoppingly handsome.The power of a high lord circled him, but unlike Rhys, it carried a certain warmth to it. An aura of safety and security. I swore the water flowing from the fountains around us bubbled harder at his arrival. 
“Welcome. I see you like the changes I’ve made” He winked at me, eyes still flickering about. 
“I believe you’ve met before, although not since your…promotion.” Tarquin eyed Amren before he gave her a polite bow. Amren bit back a greeting that reminded me of what others saw us as. Cold and calculating. 
“And you two were never formally introduced under the mountain. Feyre, Tarquin.” Tarquin’s face set into a tight line as his eyes swept over the revealing dress Feyre was wearing. Even more see-through with the sunlight in the room. Rhys let out a lewd comment and Feyre returned her own before I  could even think to grimace. 
Another's presence in the room had me looking over Tarquins shoulder. I tried to keep my face even as I spotted Cresseida. The female and I had grown closer than anyone else in the court during my last visit. She shot me a wicked smile before Tarquin introduced her, a claiming hand resting on her shoulder. My eyebrow raised to her and she shrugged her shoulders. A promise of explaining later in her dark brown eyes. Varian was next to be introduced. As captain of Tarquins guard, I did not fault him for the way he sized all of us up, especially Amren. 
Our group followed Tarquin through the hallways of the palace. Rhys and the High Lord making polite small talk. Cressida and I walked in step together. 
The room Tarquin led us to was just as beautiful as the rest of the palace. High ceilings speckled with those same pastel colors, a wide open window showcasing the vibrant water of the sea, so rich in color it appeared almost teal. Feyre gravitated towards the window, like her feet were working on their own. The Summer High Lord approached her side and I tried to keep up with their hushed conversation. Rhys took a seat at the table in the middle of the room and motioned for me to do the same. Rolling my eyes as the others approached, I grabbed Cressida’s arm and led her to a set of couches a bit away from the others. “We’ll leave all the important talk to the high lords and generals.” I said, sinking into that vapid facade I carried when I wasn’t expected to be Rhys’ terrifying counterpart. He gave me a bored look of dismissal. 
“You must tell me everything.” I nearly squealed at Cressida, loud enough for the others to hear. 
“There isn’t much to tell, Tarquin is adjusting to being High Lord quite well. However, suddenly it was…He’s a good change from before.” So not interested in her advances then. Her eyes flickered over to the table where the rest sat. 
“Are you not in contact with Tamlin then, Feyre?” The question was laced with challenge and accusations. The idea that she was in not one but two high lords beds a grave insult. 
“My relationship with the High Lord of spring is none of your concern.” She bit back, the perfect edge of regal and warning in her voice. 
“Good, I’d hate to have to return you to your master.” Even from across the room I saw Amren go deathly still. I gave Cressida a small tap on her shoulder, a playful move that warned her to hold her tongue. She gave me a withering glare as Tarquin reprimanded her for her words. 
She turned back to me, mouth opening to continue our conversation as Rhys spoke. If I hear word that she or anyone else sends news of our being here to Tamlin, your lives will be forfeit. I heard the tone of promise. The air growing deathly still as his words registered to the High Lord.I took a deep sip of my wine as feyre whispered out something that had Tarquin laughing. The room seemed to take a collective sigh at the sound. Tarquin was a good change indeed. Cressida sank back into her chair as she looked me over. 
“You look well.” She said once the conversation in the room resumed. I nodded, setting down my glass on the table beside me.
“Fresh air will do that to a person.” My not so subtle reminder to her that she had not been under the mountain. She gave a small hum. “It seems the court has recovered nicely.”  
It was her turn to grow tense. “It was not without hard work, as I’m sure you can relate to. Having a sudden change in high lord and losing half our population has not made it easy to rebuild, but we’ve managed this far.” She sighed, looking at Tarquin who was now laughing with Rhys. “He has made things easier. Gave my brother and I much more control over the efforts than the previous High lord would have.” I took in her words, the tension in her shoulders and heard the tone of someone who had sacrificed a great deal for her court. Something I very much understood. I felt shame rise in my throat at my earlier comments. She might not have been under the mountain but she, and many others in Prythian, had suffered just as much because of it. I’d imagine it would be impossible to find someone who was not affected. 
“Enough about me though, tell me how’ve you been?” Her tone switched back to one of light gossip. I took a deep sip of my wine as I gave her a half-true recounting of the last few months. 
Cressida walked me back to my room, pointing out things around the palace while doing so. Explaining the bits of work that were still in planning. She gestured to my room and said her goodbyes, promising to find me at the party tonight. 
I let out a heavy sigh as the door closed behind me. I had forgotten how exhausting court politics was. How heavy the role Rhys and I played was. Instead of lingering on that, I quickly changed into my clothes for tonight. A flowy dress that mimicked the fashion of the court but with Night Court colors. Silvers and midnight blues, silver chains fastening the dress around my neck. I left the tiara I would pin in my hair on the edge of my bed as I walked out onto the balcony attached to my room. I stared out at the crashing waves, sitting in the sound that they brought with them. The tide was coming in stronger now that it was mid-afternoon. On the horizon I saw the colorful sails of merchant and travel ships bobbing on the water. I leaned against the railing, letting myself become almost hypnotized by the motion of the water around me. I don’t know how long I stayed staring out at the water but Rhys knocking at my door told me it had been at least a few hours. Rhys walked up to my side, leaning against the railing. 
“It's definitely a nice view.” He says, snapping me out of my trance. I only nod. 
“I wish we didn't have to do this.” 
“Which part?”
“I don’t know all of it. The sneaking and the games. I just wish it could change.” I said, voice barely above a whisper. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. 
“It will be. Once this war is over. That’s what we're fighting for.” He gave a little squeeze before I sighed heavily. 
“I hope that’s how the others see it.” He nodded and I pulled away from his side. Walking back into the room. I picked up my tiara and slid it into my hair. I adjusted my makeup in the mirror on the vanity.  Looking at Rhys I gave a dramatic twirl. 
“How do I look?” He rolled his eyes at the question.
“Every bit the Night Court princess. Now will you please hurry up, we’re already late enough.” I stuck my tongue out at him as we walked out of the room. 
The ship was beautiful. It could fit double the amount of Fae than it was currently holding. Feyre, Rhys and Amren stayed close together while I mingled amongst those who would actually talk to me. Cressida found me at some point in the night, pushing a glass of wine into my hand. I couldn’t help but notice the similarities between her and Mor. Making me wonder just what sat behind her own mask. We got along fine but years of not speaking had made our friendship dissolve. Rhys made his way over to Cressida and I, giving Feyre space to talk to Tarquin. He tried to play the aloof High Lord but I saw the way his eyes kept floating over to Feyre, the way his shoulders stiffened at every smile Tarquin gave her. Cressida must have sensed the tension too because she leaned across the table to reach for my brother's hand, purposefully leaning over to expose her cleavage to him. I tried not to roll my eyes at her attempt to get his attention. 
He gave her a sleepy smile and pointed to the seat next to him. She gave Feyre a lingering glance before she stood up and all but climbed into his lap. I didn’t hold back my eyeroll this time. She shot me a wide grin. “You don’t mind do you?” She asked in a coy voice. 
“By all means, don’t let me stop you. But you should be asking him.” She pouted at my brother who nodded his head, his hand drifting to the small of her back. I downed the rest of my wine before standing up to get more. I had no interest in seeing him lean down to whisper in his ear. I noticed Feyre spared a glance our way, quickly looking back to Tarquin when she spotted Cressida’s new seat. Before I knew it, Feyre was on her feet. Walking away to a less crowded spot on the ship, leaving a very confused looking Tarquin behind her. Taking the opportunity, I joined him at the table. 
“I hope I didn’t upset her.” He joked when I sat down beside him.
“She can be a little…touchy where my brother is concerned. Pay no mind.” I waved my hand to punctuate my words. Tarquin just took a deep sip of his wine. 
We made light conversation, asking each other about our courts and each only giving as much information as was polite. My eyes tracked Rhys movements as Cressida pulled him from his seat and across the deck of the ship. A deep laugh came from the High Lord’s chest. 
“You’re not interested then?” I pointed my hand at the retreating couple, still holding my wine glass,  Another laugh from Tarquin.
“Mother no, did no one tell you she’s my cousin.” 
“Oh…” He gave me a smirk. 
“And besides,  princess. I am still young and rebuilding my court. All of that,” he waved towards the direction Cressida had pulled my brother, “can wait until after. That doesn’t mean that anyone in my court isn’t free fuck whoever they decide.” I almost shot wine from my nose at how hard I laughed, choosing an inopportune time to take a deep sip from my cup. I sputtered out an  “I’m sorry.” between coughs. He handed me a handkerchief to wipe my mouth. “I truly wasn’t not expecting you to say that. Please don’t think I was laughing at you.” 
“Never.” His voice suddenly became more serious than before. 
“Now what about you? No one has caught your eye?”
“I dare you to try with a brother like mine.” It felt wrong to so crassly talk about Rhys. LIke he was the one stopping me from what I wanted. 
“But there’s someone?” He pried. I shook my head. 
“No one that would see me that way.” It wasn’t a lie by any means. He didn’t have to know exactly why. 
“Do they happen to be blind?” I raised an eyebrow in question. “That would be the only reason I think of for someone not seeing you that way.” I didn’t fake the blush that rose on my cheeks. 
“You flatter me. But no, just… I don’t know.” I said in a tone almost boarding on a whine. He laughed again, a sound I realized I liked. We sat and talked until the sun colored the water a deep purple. I looked out at the view, once again falling into a trance as I stared out at the waves. 
“Shall I walk you back to your room?” Tarquin asked, pulling my eyes back to him. I wanted to say no. But the role I played required I saw yes. So I nodded, letting him guide me by my hand back around the palace. I was nervous as we approached my door, not knowing fully what he expected out of me. Especially not knowing exactly where Cressida had pulled Rhys to. I felt panic starting to rise in my throat until he cleared his throat. 
We were outside my door and the panic I felt must have been written across my face. 
“Don’t look so disappointed. But I was not walking you back for that.” I felt my shoulders relax and a blush settle on the tips of my ears. 
“I’m sor-”
“Don’t be. I like my partners more than willing.Enthusiastic if you will.” I laughed, which made him laugh in return.
“Good night.” I whispered to him
“Good night.” He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before he turned and walked off down the hallway. 
I had nothing to do until Feyre went to look for the book. And I truly had no desire to sit and gossip with Cressida after the heated looks she had been giving my brother. So I simply stayed in my room, listening to the sounds of the ocean. I tried to think of how much the rest of my family would love it here. How much they had loved it here. I lightly chuckled to myself as I remember Cassian's face as Mor winnowed him out of the court last time we had visited. It took days of debate and many apologies before the previous High Lord rescinded the blood ruby he threatened to send after Cassian.  Mor looked absolutely gorgeous with some sun on her skin, although Azriel held onto it longer much to her chagrin. I curled my knees up to my chest at the thought of Azriel. It felt almost selfish for how little I had thought about him since I’d been here. Regardless of the fact that I had no reason to feel bad, a small twinge of shame pushed its way through me. A hand rising to the center of my chest to massage the discomfort away. 
Rhys didn't come to collect me until dinner. He was curt as he announced that the rest were waiting for me, not waiting for my reply before he was leaving the room again. I rushed after to catch up with him. Feyre must have done her job well if my brother was wound this tight. 
“Anything on your mind, brother?” I asked in a sweet voice, purposefully teasing him.
“Don’t you start with me too.” So Feyre must have already talked to him. Good. Maybe he’ll finally use this to tell the poor girl. “Stop trying to meddle.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.”
“I just want to get this damned book and go back home.”
“I’m sure that’s all there is to it, Rhys.” I patted him on the back and nearly started running down the hall, suddenly very hungry. 
The days passed by slowly. As Rhys’ advisor, I was now expected to attend the various meetings Rhys had with the summer courts own advisors. I wished we could have left Amren out of these meetings, but as his second, she attended every one of them. Her presence set the others on edge, making any and all discussions freeze at random moments because she so much as shifted her body weight. 
It wasn’t until dinner the night after that Feyre almost gave herself away. One too many questions asked about the little temple in the middle of the tide. Tarquin brushed off her questions with ease but I saw the way his eyes lingered on her longer than normal, like he was sizing her up for the first time. If I blinked I would have missed it, that slight fog in his eyes. A fog that only appeared for a moment before sea green eyes were revealed once again. I shot my eyes to Rhys who shook his head. Not him then. Meaning Feyre must have been able to do that. I was both very impressed and oh so horrified. 
“I can carry you both and then keep watch” Rhys layed out the plan. Amren looked over to me. 
“And her?”
“Someone has to keep the High Lord distracted.” I grinned at her
“What a hard job to do.” She bit back at me, baring her teeth at me. I fought back the urge to do the same. 
“It’s a necessary job. Unless you want to risk Tarquin sniffing us out.” She didn’t have a response for him. “Good. Do you think you can do it?” He turned to face me and I nodded. From there we planned the rest of the details. 
The day dragged by. Tarquin, by Feyre’s suggestion, had taken her to the mainland to show her the rest of the court. That left Amren, Rhys and myself free to make some final conversation with the court advisors. Simple things like trade and training of soldiers felt wrong to discuss with a greater war on the horizon, felt too mundane. 
Evening came around eventually. Tarquin all but deposited Feyre into Rhys’ outstretched arms. He gave her a salacious smile that I wasn’t sure was entirely fake. But gave the right impression of just exactly why I was so eager to leave the palace. 
Tarquin and I walked through the city where he took me to a small bistro. The staff all smiled at him as we approached the open air restaurant. It was quaint, reminding me of something you would find in Velaris. The casual exchange between the owner and Tarquin felt very familiar. I smiled at the couple as they personally sat Tarquin and I. The restaurant had no menu, instead the meal was based on whatever the ships brought in that day and the catch of the day seemed to be crab. They brought out steaming plates and I could only stare at it. 
“I must admit, I’ve never tried crab before.” I picked up one of the legs in front of me, taking note of the hard shell. Tarquin smiled at me. 
“Apologies, I didn’t consider that.” He gestured for the piece I was holding and I handed it over to him. “You have to crack this open” A simple twist of his hands and the shell popped loudly. “And then you can pull out the meat.” Picking up a tiny fork, he pulled the entirety of the meat out in a clean piece. I gave him a small clap. He laughed and handed me another piece. 
“You try.” I earned my own clap from him as I copied his motions. It took me a few tries to scoop everything out but I got there in the end. 
“I’lll just have to practice more.” I winked at him and he gave me a soft smile. 
“If it gives you an excuse to come back here, be my guest.” I let the comment float between us. We ate until he had to wave off the shop owners. A small argument between the three of them as they tried to insist he didn’t need to pay. Tarquin dropped a bag of gold on the table when their backs were turned and all but pushed me out of the restaurant before they could notice. The action was so unlike any other high lord I had seen that I couldn’t help the giggle that left me. 
He had grabbed my hand in his sometime during our walk back through the city. Not paying attention to the way I led him to the stretch of beach on the other side of the palace, on the opposite side of where Feyre and Amren were currently trying to grab the book from. The only sound between us was the crashing waves. 
“Sunlight looks good on you.” Tarquin winked at me as we walked down the beach. Breaking the comfortable silence.  The red that tinted my cheeks had nothing to do with the fleeting sunlight. 
“I’m afraid I might become the same color of that crab if I stayed too long,” I joked back.
“You’d adjust… If you ever wanted to, that is.” His tone was light but I could sense the truth behind those words. 
“You’d do well to remember not to be fooled by a pretty face.” I returned with that same tone. He shook his head. 
“I was under the mountain too. Everyone heard the way you would stand up to her. The way you suffered so others wouldn’t.” His words startled me. I never acted that way to get attention. I told him as much. “And that’s why I know you’re more than a pretty face. You did all of it without thinking. Regardless of what you might show others, I know you and your brother are good people. The people that refuse to see that are fools” 
I didn’t respond. Unable to find the right words. I kept walking, slower than before. The sound of waves crashed over my ears. The white noise comforting. Tarquin was not a bad looking male by a long shot. Even under the mountain he was gorgeous. But even thinking of it, however fleetingly, felt wrong. Some deep part in my chest hurt as I thought of how easy it would be to fall in love with him. My hand drifted subconsciously to rub that sharp sting away. 
“You’re kind too. I see it in the way you interact with your people. Very few high lords care about lesser fae, let alone enough to remember their names.” It was his turn to blush, the skin on his cheeks darkening ever so slightly. 
“I want to be better than those before me. I see no reason to make my people suffer because they weren't lucky enough to be high born.”
“I wouldn’t call it lucky.” I muttered mostly to myself. 
“Neither would I. But to them, to the people that only get to watch…”
“It all does seem rather glamorous. Just another mask to put on.” I bit my tongue, cursing myself for saying too much. To my surprise, Tarquin only nodded along. 
“Better to let them think it’s all parties and banquets. It means we’re doing our jobs well enough.” Once again, silence blanketed itself over us. Both of us were aware that our conversation had drifted to something too real. As I looked out at the ocean and saw the tide starting to swell again, I felt disgust ebb through me. I hoped Feyre had made it out by now. That she had gotten the book. We would be leaving tomorrow regardless. Tarquin must have noticed the look on my face, the pensive far-off look. 
“Are you sad to be leaving?” Luckily he had misread my emotions. I nodded, not entirely lying to him.
“Your home is beautiful and it’s nice to be given a break from Hewn city. Sometimes when I wake it, it’s hard not to think I’m still…with her.” He grabbed my hand in his as I spoke. As I looked into his sea green eyes, I had never felt more disgusted with myself. He was kind and trusting and so naive. It felt too easy. Any other high lord, one that had been around longer, would have never let my brother or Feyre out of their sight. Pretty face or not. But the High Lord in front of me didn’t hold an ounce of suspicion for my court. Had told Feyre that much during their trip earlier in the week. It made my stomach twist. 
“She left our mark on all of us, it’s our job to make sure someone like her can never have that chance again.” My throat felt tight and I couldn't speak. He was a good male without a doubt. I only hoped he would forgive us for what we had to do, and would be willing to hear us out after all is said and done.  
AS if the mother herself sensed my words, an alarm rang from within the castle. Tarquin jumped, pulling his hand from mine as a  figure appeared next to us. I hoped the sigh of relief wasn’t too loud as I saw Rhys. It’s done. We need to go now. Tarquin’s head was whipping back and forth between his palace and my brother. I knew I would never be able to forget the look of pure disbelief in his eyes as the pieces clicked into place. 
“I’m so sorry.” I took a step towards him as Rhys wrapped an arm around my waist and the moonlit water of the summer court disappeared around me. 
My knees gave out as soon as I felt the ground return underneath me. Azriel was at my side instantly, hands quick to wipe the silent tears off of my face. I pushed myself away from him. So disgusted with myself I could hardly breathe. My brother paid no attention to me, instead turning his focus to Feyre. I let out a mix between a sob and a laugh as I saw her pull out the book. Azriel just pulled me back against his chest. And my treacherous body relaxed in his hold. That familiar smell of nighttime and pine and something so Azriel that I couldn’t help but calm down. I clung to him tighter as Feyre struggled to open the book. Scared that this had all been for nothing. Then the sick voice echoed through the room. A language I couldn’t quite make out but chilled me to my very core. Like the book had been made of nightmares themselves. Even Azriel tensed beside me, wings flaring before I felt them wrap around me. The voice burrowed into my brain sending a fresh wave of tears down my face. Then, just as sudden as it had started it stopped. Feyre held the now opened box in her lap, refusing to look into it. 
Amren finally looked and pulled away, swearing. She looked…scared. It was a look so out of place on her face that I almost couldn’t clock it. But as she looked back at the book I recognized the pure terror flickering behind those quick silver eyes and I wondered out loud what exactly we had gotten ourselves into. 
I didn’t stay to discuss the events at the summer court with the rest of my family. As it was, Azriel had to all but carry me to my room. Maybe I was being dramatic but the last few days mixed with that look from Tarquin had worn heavily on me. Waves of guilt kept roaring through me. Enough so that I simply let Azriel place me onto my bed, feeling too disgusted with myself to be in his presence any longer. He only pressed a light kiss to my forehead before he pulled the curtains shut and left my room. 
Azriel didn’t return until later the next day. When I finally was able to look him in the eyes I saw nothing but concern in those hazel eyes. Concern I didn’t deserve or want. 
“Talk to me.” He pleaded. I shook my head, a small sniffle the only sound I made. Willing the tears away. I didn’t even deserve to be crying for myself. He sighed heavily and pulled me into his lap. I was so upset that I didn’t even consider the intimate hold. I just curled up tighter into myself and let him rock me back and forth. 
“I’m a horrible person.” I sobbed into his chest, unable to hold back the tears. 
“Rhys told me everything. You’re not. They don’t know it yet but this could save us all.” I didn’t let his words comfort me. 
“He’s so kind. It sickens me to think that I might be the reason he stops being kind.” My voice broke. The admission was unbearable. 
“He’ll deal with it.” I sniffled one more time before I started to calm down. 
Tarquin did in fact deal with it. In the form of four blood red rubies delivered to Hewn City that morning. I swore when Rhys placed it on my bed. “Azriel’s already sweeping the border, so if you decided to have a melt down on me again, you’ll be waiting for a while for someone to comfort you.” Half a tease and half a plea for me to keep it together. I tossed the ruby to the floor, letting it roll under my bed. 
“You really know how to comfort a female, Rhys. It’s a miracle we aren’t having to peel Feyre off of you, truly.” I spit at him. 
“Be angry at me all you want, but get your shit together. You’ve, we’ve, done far worse things.”
“To people that deserved it.” I whispered back. And that was the root of it all. The way we had done unspeakable things to people in the past had never bothered me, because they would have done the same if they got the chance. But sweet, naive Tarquin…
“He’ll understand in time.” Was all he offered, and I saw red tinge the edge of my vision. 
“But at what cost? He’s a good ally to have if we come down to war and we very well might have pushed him into Hyberns hands.”
“If it takes a simple theft for him to go to Hybern then he was never truly an ally.” I wanted to slap the cock-sure look off of my brother's face. 
“Send in Azriel when he gets back.” Dismissal clear in my tone. Rhys looked at me, but I turned away from him. He said my name softly. 
“Get.Out.” I gritted out, picking up a pillow to throw at him but when I turned around he was already gone. 
Azriel did come to my room later in the day, but only long enough to bring me food and say goodbye. He was doing more patrols, checking  his network of spies for any word that Summer might be preparing to send soldiers to our doors. He left before I could say anything to him, only leaving a single shadow behind. It stayed near my bed until I ate the food Azriel had brought for me. Then, and only then, did the shadow retreat to the corner of my room, making me feel a little less alone as I drifted off to sleep. 
It took days for me to finally come out of my room. Nothing compared to the weeks of waiting for the queens to reply to our request. Rhys didn’t have to inform me I would not be coming to the meeting and I didn't have it in me to argue with his decision. He would keep an open line to me from the human lands and I would be able to add my two cents if it was needed. But after my reaction to Tarquin, wwe couldn’t risk another break down on my end. As much as everyone understood where I was coming from, they knew the role I played weighed heavily on me and if I was to attend the meeting I would need to play my part perfectly. A part I didn’t want to play at the moment. That would leave me with Amren, the ancient fae had not let the book out of her sight since it had been given to her. Rhys and I were the only others who had an inkling of how to translate the equally as ancient language, but it took me far more concentration than it took her. 
She didn’t seem to care because no sooner had my family left before she was hauling the book onto the table in my office. The map had been moved to a larger table so she sprawled out sheets of paper with random sentences scribbled onto them, like she was translating faster than she could write them down. I stared at the pages until my eyes began to blur over. Amren shot me a dirty look when I pushed away from the table rubbing my eyes. 
“Weak.” She muttered to herself and I didn’t dignify her taunt with a reply. I had nothing to prove to her, and she very well might be right. I didn’t have the same pull to war like she did, planning it was hard enough. Despite how naturally it came to me, I despised the scheming and backstabbing that usually accompanied it. I didn’t spare her a glance as I walked out of the room, leaving her to her own devices to try to make sense of the pages of the book. 
It was around dinner time when everyone appeared in the front room of the house. I could feel the tension radiating off of Rhys and I wondered why he hadn’t tried to contact me. Until I followed him into his office and he spun around, looking like he was ready to attack me. 
“They want proof that we’re not the court the rumors suggest. They want to see behind the mask.” He spit out, hands lacing into his hair looking like he might pull it from his roots. 
“What are you going to do?” I asked him softly. Taking very slow steps towards him. He growled before he pushed the contents of his desk to the ground. He stood, chest heaving rapidly as he just stared at the floor. 
“I’m going  to show it to them. For the first time since its creation, I’m going to show someone Velaris.” He sunk into his chair, like his legs would no longer support him. I sensed Cassian and Azriel behind me then. I shot them a look that told them to get out and they left as quickly as they had entered. I walked over to my brother and wrapped my arms around him. The sob he let out shook me to my very core and I could only hold him tighter. NO words of encouragement found their way from my throat. 
“I’m sorry for judging you so much over the last weeks.” He said once the sobs had stopped echoing around the room. 
“You were only trying to-”
“I was only being selfish. You made a hard choice and look at me the moment I’m presented with one.” 
“You’re allowed to feel things, Rhys.” A conversation we had had far too many times. He shook his head against my shoulder.
“Not if this is what it does to me. Not if it puts my family in danger.” He sounded so broken and exhausted. 
“You don’t have to do this alone.” My words only made him start sobbing again. And I just held him, not trusting myself to speak as he cried himself out. 
We didn’t speak of the events in his office, that singular moment of weakness from my brother and the others knew better than to ask. The withering glare I had shot Amren when she even attempted to pry served as warning to leave it be. They let it be as the focus quickly turned to the trip to Hewn city. The Veritas orb would be the only way the queens would ever truly believe us. 
So we all prepared. Dressing in finery like it was no different than our fighting leathers. Because in that wretched court they were synonymous. Lipstick akin to war paint and a lethal smile more than just an expression.
I dug in the back of my closet for the ballgowns I reserved only for these occasions. The one I chose for tonight was made of a fabric so black it looked purple. Cut outs at my waist and a neckline that nearly dipped to my navel. Twin slits up the legs that closed right under my hip bone. I left my hair down as I usually did, pinning it to one side of my head. Slipping in my crown I didn’t give myself another glance in the mirror. 
The dress left no room for weapons anywhere on my body but Azriel would be by my side as we searched for the orb. And hopefully he wouldn’t have to even think of using the polished blade that sat on his hip. 
Mor and I arrived first. Winnowing ahead of the others to announce our arrival. There weren't many preparations to be made, the court never one to stop partying. Only stopping enough to sleep or the occasional formal dinner. So Mor and I waited. And waited. Kier grew ever impatient at the lack of my brother's appearance. 
“He’s your high lord, he can come and go whenever he pleases.” My voice the perfect picture of an ice cold princess. Stuck up and full of mirth. He rolled his eyes at me.
“Yes of course, I just wish to go back to my own festivities instead of waiting for him to grace us with his presence.” 
“You will wait as long as he sees fit.” I bared my teeth at him and all he did was give me a wicked smile. I fought to keep my face even, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of riling me. 
Mor was shifting from foot to foot. Looking at her, you would think she was bored, but her tight grip on her arms was the only indication about how uncomfortable she was. Standing in the same room as her father. Neither of them so much as looked at the other. 
“Why don’t you go check on the others. Make sure they remembered we were coming.” I said to Mor, giving her an excuse to leave if only for a few minutes. She didn’t say anything, just gave me a tight nod in appreciation. When she arrived, her face was grim before that mask of indifference snapped back into place. I would have to ask her about it later. 
I almost sighed in relief when I saw my brother, Feyre in tow behind him, walk through the heavy obsidian doors. Kier had already gone back to the main room, my threatening promise of collecting him when my brother appeared. 
“Wait for the others.” Rhys said to me as he brushed by me, steps not faltering as he walked into the throne room. So I waited for Cassian and Azriel. They arrived a few minutes after Rhys had left the room. 
“What happened?” I hissed at them, seeing their glowing siphons. 
“Ambush. We’ll tell you more later.” Azriel said in a clipped voice, shadows whipping around his feet. Clearly agitated. I nodded. 
“You better.” I answered before we all fell into our positions. Azriel on my right and Cassian on my left, me a few paces in front of them. The three of us walked into the throne room. If it wasn’t already silent, the sheer presence of the three of us would have quieted it. As it was, eyes tracked our every move, people all but jumping out of the way of the three of us. Gone were the playful smiles and casual words. Here I was more than just darkness, if Rhys night incarnate and I was something different entirely. The absence of anything, a void. Everyone here had witnessed first hand my powers. The smoke that could incapacitate everyone standing before me, when I had my full powers. Then there was Azriel and Cassian, the wicked spymaster and the bloodthirsty general. 
A path was cleared for us up to the dias where Rhys was standing. Azriel and Cassian knelt at the foot of the marble steps. I joined my brother on the opposite side as Feyre. A feline smile gracing my features as I looked at the kneeling figures of the court. 
“How lovely of you to finally join us.” 
“Call it fashionably late.” Rhys chuckled darkly at my response. With that he walked over to his throne. Pulling Feyre onto his lap. I walked a few paces to stand beside him, my usual position as his sister. I was not expected to kneel for him, instead presenting a unified front. The terrifying high lord and his equally powerful sister. 
I tried to ignore the way Rhys ran his hands all over Feyre. She had already been warned of the role she would have to play while visiting this court. A role she accepted. I admired how bravely she was taking it all. He leaned in to whisper something I tried to tune out. The court is still kneeling, bodies shifting with the strain of the position. As if remembering that they were even there. “Go play.” Was the only acknowledgement he gave them. Dismissing them like they weren’t worth his time anymore. The music began after a few moments. People scramble to do something to distract themselves. 
I walked over to the two warriors as Rhys summoned Kier from his spot near the dias. I fought the urge to hiss at him as he walked by me. I let a small flicker of smoke leak from my hands instead, a threat. He snarled at me and I only let out a low laugh. 
Azriel was already waiting for me. Ready to surround us in darkness to retrieve the orb. We hung by the edge of the room for a little longer, slipping out seamlessly. 
I led the way down the twisting hallways to the vaults that lay hidden underneath Kier’s bedchambers. Azriel needed someone from our bloodline to get in that room, the wards being keyed to our family. We didn’t run into any guards on the way, the wards making it unnecessary.
We entered the cavernous room and began searching. Azriel sent his shadows off through the various tunnels to search ahead of us. We searched through room after room. Silently cursing my extended family for the sheer amount of things they held onto. Jewels and ancient tomes. Records of every dealing of the court of nightmares. I rolled my eyes at the absurd opulence of it all. Azriel’s shadows whipped back to him, wrapping around his shoulders. No doubt whispering of the orbs wearabouts. He grabbed my hand in his as the shadows slunk back to their previous location. The orb was sitting high on a shelf. Out or reach if it wasn’t for Azriel’s wings. He quickly scooped it up and placed it in a bag hidden underneath his leathers. 
We started the walk back to the throne room. The sound of footsteps alerting us of someone else's, several someones, presence. Without thinking, I pulled Azriel’s face close to mine. Bringing a hand up to his face. His hand went to wrap around my waist at the quick movement. 
“Play along.” I whispered to him. I gave a quiet sultry laugh and the footsteps stopped mere feet from us. I jumped back like they had surprised me. Peeling myself off of Azriel. I stepped away, forcing an embarrassed look onto my face. 
The two males only stared at Azriel and I. Taking note of the secluded spot, the space I had abruptly put between us. Predatory smiles graced their faces. 
“Don’t let us ruin your fun.” One said.
“Unless you would rather us join.” The other added. From the lilt of their voices, I could tell they were drunk. Too drunk to realize exactly who they were speaking to like that. I only made a disgusted sound, pulling Azriel behind me as the sound of their laughter echoed through the hallway behind us. 
Azriel and I blended seamlessly into the dancing crowd. The music was slightly more refined than earlier. He didn’t say anything to me as I pulled his hand into mine and put his other hand on my waist. He slowly let his shoulders relax, leaning into me and his footing became more sure. 
It didn’t take long for me to forget why we were doing this, that we had nearly been caught despite his shadows. As I danced with him, I forgot anything but us existed.
The music flowed through me making me feel light as he spun me around the dance floor. I didn’t care about the eyes tracking us across the room. I couldn’t focus on anything but the feeling of his hands on my exposed waist. He whispered a joke at something his shadows must have picked up and I threw my head back with laughter. Truthfully I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this good. My mind fully focused on Azriel. 
I prayed to the mother he couldn’t feel the goosebumps that had risen along my skin against his touch. 
He dipped me low and I felt my breath stop. His face an inch from mine. It would be so easy to close that distance and feel his lips against mine. Every part of my brain was screaming at me to do it. His shadows raced around us like they could hear my thoughts. My traitorous body locked up when all I wanted to do was pull him to me. He took in the tension in my body and started to pull away. Panicking at the thought of losing his body heat against mine, I wrapped my hand around the back of his neck, pulling him back down to me, right as he started to stand me up. I bit back a moan as I felt the plush of his lips collide with mine. 
It was clumsy and rushed but I sucked down breaths full of him, hand still locked on his neck. His hands tightened their hold against me and he groaned my name before he pushed me away. 
“I’m sorry. I…” all the joy had leached out of me as I took in his face. He looked disgusted and before I could say anything else he was weaving through the crowd, leaving me alone on the dance floor. 
My mind was reeling. Lips still tingling in the aftermath. I had dreamed of that kiss for centuries but never could have predicted his reaction. The tears were streaking down my face before I quickly wiped them away, pushing my way through moving bodies. I needed to get out of this room, get out of this stupid dress that had suddenly become too tight to breathe. 
Before I could rip it off in the middle of the throne room, Rhys caught my elbow and was pulling me down to a quiet hallway. I haven't even realized he had left his throne. 
“What happened? Are you hurt?” I couldn’t answer with anything other than a sob. He took me into his arms and my skin crawled at the contact. I shrugged out of his hold and could only get out one word. “Mor.” I said her name like the lifeline it was. I saw the conflict in Rhys’ eyes. The need to make me feel better and not leave me alone. But as another sob passed my lips he was all but running away to grab the female I had requested. 
I was hiccuping between sobs by the time Mor arrived. Rhys nowhere in sight, probably returning back to that cruel High Lord facade. I don’t think I could have gotten the words out of what had happened if he was still standing beside me. I choked out the words to her. Recounting what happened and Azriel’s less than enthusiastic reaction. Mor was well aware of my feelings and her eyes shone with sympathy. She held me as I cried it out, tears soaking the fabric on her shoulder. Her hold on me helped to ground me and eventually my tears calmed. I gave her the tightest squeeze I could manage and she held me at arms length, examining my face. Her thumbs came up to wipe under my eyes, coming away with streaks of my makeup sticking to them. My own hands brushed along my face and a sigh of relief followed as I noticed my makeup hadn't smudged too much. No one would be able to know the mess a single kiss had just reduced me to. 
Taking Mors outstretched hand, she pulled me back into the main ballroom, music filling my ears again. The tempo had picked up more turning into something I might hear at Rita’s and definitely something you couldn’t waltz to. Couples had retreated to the sides as the dance floor became a breathing pulse instead of the graceful swell of movement it had been earlier. The pairs that had remained grinding against each other. Mor snagged two flukes of champagne as she pulled us deeper into the dance floor. I knocked mine back as quickly as I could and resolved to block out all the thoughts that were racing around in my head. So I danced with Mor until my brow was covered in sweat, my skin glistening at the rising temperature of the entire room. We ignored all the disgruntled looks aimed our way. Not caring if they heard our laughter for once. 
We both laughed as we found our way to the edge of the crowd again, grabbing more champagne. We both hung back catching our breath together and I let out a heavy sigh as I emptied the glass. I spotted the shadows from across the room and all but slammed the glass onto the table behind me. 
“I’m leaving.” Was all I said to Mor as I stalked away. She didn’t try to stop me, only grabbed my arm to winnow me back to Velaris. She didn’t linger. Returning just as swiftly as we had arrived. 
I just made it back to my room before the tears started anew. Ripping the pins out of my hair and peeling the beautiful dress off my shaking frame, I didn’t make it to my bed before I sunk down to my feet. Pulling my knees close to my chest I let the tears come. 
He was allowed to not return my feelings but in those moments on the dance floor that kiss had felt so real. The way I effortlessly fit against him or the laughter that flowed freely from me. It all felt so right and to see that look on his face. It broke some part of me I had been holding onto for so long now. That small dream that he could for some reason ever return my sentiments. That he would ever see me as anything as Rhys’ sister. 
I eventually was able to pull myself into bed and curl myself into a ball. Tears lulling me off to sleep. I must have dreamt that night because I swore I felt those familiar shadows glide over my skin but by the time I opened my eyes they were gone. 
I managed to pull myself out of bed the next morning. Pushing the stinging rejection to some deep part of me. There’s a war at our doorsteps and you’re crying over a kiss. I reminded myself to stop being so pathetic as I walked down the stairs to the kitchen. I was the last to arrive apparently. 
“You disappeared rather quickly last night.” Cassian said to me, tone teasing but laced with questions. 
“We got the orb, and I no longer wanted to be there.” I shrugged. Pointedly ignoring the gaze of the shadowslinger I could feel burning a hole in the side of my head. I didn’t talk to him all morning, suddenly finding someone calling my name when he tried to speak to me. It was childish, sure, but I didn’t have it in me to discuss it without breaking down in front of him. As it was, I could barely make eye contact with him. My lips tingled every time I look at him. A feeling that I imagine must be similar to being struck by lighting erupted over my skin. I couldn’t be in the same room as him. Lucky for me, Rhys had called me into his study to go over the events of last night. What that would mean for our upcoming trip to the queens.
I was so out of it that I didn’t even notice that Rhys had stopped talking. 
“What happened to you last night?” Rhys asked in a soft voice. I shook my head. If I started talking about it I wouldn’t be able to stop. Rhys would know everything.
“Weren’t you just the one telling me you don’t have to do this by yourself. Gods just let me help you.” 
“You can’t fix this, Rhys.”
“Why not?”
“Azriel kissed me.” He tensed at my rushed words. 
“Did he hurt you?” His voice was cold as death. I shook my head.
“Not the way you mean.” He tapped his hand impatiently against his desk, waiting for more of an explanation. So I sighed and told him everything. 
“How long have you been in love with him?” He asked when I finally finished my story. 
“I’m not-” His pointed stare made me wither. “Only a few years after you became high lord.” I admitted. He had the audacity to laugh. 
“Cassian and I called it.” I gaped at him.
“Not out loud or anything but we always assumed.” 
“That’s all you have to say about this?”
“You’re an adult. He’s an adult.” 
“So you have no idea why he reacted that way.” He looked sheepish at my question. Hands going to pick at an invisible piece of lint. “Rhysand.” He flinched as I said his full name. 
“No. I have no idea.” He threw his hands up in the air before he said “Have you tried, I don’t know, talking to him yourself?”
It was my turn to look sheepish. 
“That explains why you’ve been avoiding him all morning then.” A smile playing at the edge of his lips.
“And I’m sure you were whispering all about the mating bond in Feyre’s ear last night?” I returned. 
“Touche.” 
“Who would have guessed, the two scariest fae in all of Pyrthian and we run with our tails between our legs at the thought of a romantic relationship.” 
“Pathetic truly.”
“If only they could see us now.” I joked back. 
I felt better after my talk with Rhys, lighter even. It was nice to have him know even if it meant I would have to endure his teasing at times. Azriel said nothing about my change in mood as I finally acknowledged him, Rhys making a lewd gesture behind the spymaster. I fought to keep my laugh down. Azriel looked behind his shoulder to find a perfectly still Rhys, his head turned back to me and then to Rhys again, like he might catch him if he moved fast enough. 
“We should-” He started before I held up a hand.
“Not necessary. I got the message loud and clear.” He deflated ever so slightly at my words and didn’t say anything else. So I carried on about my day as usual, until it was time to get dressed for tonight.
The gown I wore tonight was vastly different from the one I wore to Hewn city. This was a silver, tiered dress. Ruffles formed to look like butterfly wings and encrusted with gems on the edges. The neckline was far more modest than my other dress, swooping gently right under my collar bone. I couldn’t help but twirl in the mirror. Giggling at the rainbows the clear gems threw across the ceiling. It truly was a gorgeous dress. One I had custom made from one of the shops in Velaris. 
I didn’t wait for any of the others to join me. I had gotten ready at the house of wind so I could join the festivities the moment I was ready. Too excited to waste one minute with Mor fussing about her hair. I stood on the balcony, eyes already searching for those little flickers of starlight. 
“You look beautiful.” A voice behind me said, making me jump. I haven't heard Azriel approaching behind me. He stood beside me by the railing, leaning on his elbows. It was peaceful, standing next to him with the wind brushing against my skin. The events from last night eddying out of my mind with him so close to me. 
“I missed this.” I nearly whispered to him. Looking out at the lights of the city I loved. Hearing the laughs and joyous shouts of everyone above us. It was all too much and not enough, the thought of it bringing happy tears to my eyes. Tears that I felt scared hands wipe away before I could. “I’m sorry. I just… I never thought I would see this again.” His eyes filled with a deep sadness. Before he could open his mouth to speak again, Mor called my name. Rushing over she put a glass of champagne in my hand, pulling me upstairs with the other. Azriel trailed behind us. 
I looked over my shoulder and gave him a soft smile that he returned. Cassian was waiting for all of us, talking to some pretty female that was batting her eyelashes at him. He didn’t give her a second glance when he spotted us approaching, the female calling his name as he retreated from her side. I could have laughed at the look she gave all of us but I didn’t have time to think about it as Cassian swept me into a bone-crushing hug. 
“Look at you all dolled up, princess.” Cassian said as he held me at arms length. 
“Couldn’t have you upstage me” I winked at him which only made him throw his head back with laughter. I joined in and felt a weight uncurl from my shoulders. 
“Come on.” Mor said as the music started to pick up. The telltale sign that the best part was just ahead. My eyes searched the crowd for my brother. I wanted to share this moment with him. I caught the outline of wings on the balcony above us. Tucked away enough that I really had to search for him. I saw the sparkle of Feyre’s dress and a warm smile plastered itself to my face. His arm was wrapped around her waist. I looked away, giving them their privacy. 
No sooner had I looked back to the sky did I see the faint trails of light beginning to fill it. First one, then a few more, then the sky was full of the brightly colored trails. Bits of stardust landed in the river below us, covering the surface with their glittering color. Mor grabbed my hand, pulling me into a uneleagant dance. Cassian and Azriel joined in a few moments later. The four of us not caring about the moves we made, simply soaking up each other's company. Azriel wrapped an arm around my waist, pulling me close to his side and I felt my heart skip a beat. Mind instantly going back to our dance at the court of nightmares. He shot me an almost apologetic smile that told me he was thinking the same thing. I shrugged at him. Nothing to apologize for. He kissed me and I kissed him back. Simple as that. It didn’t have to mean anything, nothing more than the heat of the moment decision. As much as it hadn’t been that for me, as much as it stung to know that’s all he saw it as.
 Shaking the thoughts away, I grabbed his arm and swayed gently to the beat. Cassian and Mor devolved into a dance that was more jumping than dancing. They wrapped their arms around each other howling with laughter. 
I felt the glittering substance hit my arm. Looking down to inspect it, I noticed Azriel’s wings sporting their own splatters. It took every ounce of brain power I possessed not to reach up and brush it off of those beautiful wings. Instead I dipped a finger through the dust on my arm and wiped a streak over Azriel’s cheek. He stared at me in disbelief before a booming laugh left him. The sound warmed my heart. He laughed like this so rarely, truly carefree. It seemed so natural to lean in and rest my head against his chest. His arms wrapped around me as we just stood in each other's embrace. I tilted my head up so  I could see his hazel eyes already looking down at me.
“Azriel I…”
He let me go when Mor cried out my name, cutting off my words.
“You’re not nearly drunk enough.” She said pulling my arm to the table holding the full glasses. I turned to look at Azriel but he seemed to have disappeared already. His shadow trailing across my shoulder being the only indicator he had even been there. 
Mor and I stayed on the rooftop until the sun started peaking over the horizon. Coloring the Sidra a beautiful pink and orange. Sighing heavily as the lingering effects of the alcohol had started to wear off finally, leaving nothing but exhaustion in their wake. Mor simply grabbed my arm and winnowed us back to the house. 
Cassian and Azriel were asleep on the couches. A bottle of whiskey sitting empty on the table between them. They wouldn’t wake up until later in the afternoon. I threw blankets over both of them and started heading to my own room. I didn’t stay up long enough to bathe nor did I peel myself out of my dress. Suddenly too exhausted to even keep my eyes open. 
I woke up sometime in the late afternoon. Rhys all but pulled me out of bed.
“We're leaving soon.” That woke me up. With a curse I stumbled over myself to get to the bathing room. I took a hasty bath, washing away the remaining stardust that was stuck to my skin. I braided my hair and dressed in my Illyrian leather. Daggers slid into their place on my thigh. I strapped my sword to my back and was down to meet the others in less than thirty minutes. Rhys gave me an approving nod. 
Going to Windhaven never got any easier. I had no love for my old home. It was only a blessing from the cauldron that I haven't been born with wings. The cruelty I faced growing up was enough. The shudder that racked through me had nothing to do with the cold. 
I ignored the sneers from passing by males. Azriel and Cassian tight by my side serving as a buffer for the nasty comments that were usually thrown my way. Feyre was silent beside me, taking in the sights around her. 
We walked until Lord Devlon walked in front of us. A brutish male that was one of the few people in this world I can say I truly hated. Mor snarled at the mention of the girls they were supposed to be training. 
“And why aren’t the males helping them with the chores?” I dared to ask him. He looked at me like I was no more than a speck of dirt on his leathers. 
Before Devlon could grace me with a response Rhys cut him off. The demanding voice of a high lord telling him to clear out our old house. The tone even Devlon couldn’t argue with. 
Rhys, Feyre and I stood in the clearing. Time and time again she reached her power out, getting stronger each time. I practiced along with her. She stood in awe of the mist that poured out of my hands, getting thicker each time until it hugged the ground like fog. 
“When did you meet Tamlin?” Feyre asked after a string of questions about Illyria. Rhys and I both stiffened. The mist instantly retreated back into my hands. 
“Show me something impressive and I’ll tell you.” She rolled her eyes but did it anyway. Holding out her hand she conjured a butterfly out of the water in the snow. It was very impressive. 
“I’ve known Tamlin since he was young. The more decent children of the high lords at the time. Definitely better than Berons bunch.” He almost shivered and I willed the earth to swallow me whole. “And significantly better than his brothers, who knew from the moment Tamlin was born he would be high lord. He was the lesser of the evils so I decided it would be better if we were friends… I don’t know why but I even taught him some illyrian techniques.” 
“Did anyone know?” He shook his head. I blanched at the thought of how angry our father would have been had he known about Rhys and Tamlin’s friendship. Rhys looked to me, knowing the next part of the story was mine to tell. I just nodded at him, giving him permission to say the words I couldn’t. 
“When my father got wind of our friendship… for lack of a better term. He decided it was time for the two courts to align themselves more. And that’s where this gets even more complicated.” He trailed off, once again looking at me. 
“Why?” Feyre pressed on and I wish she hadn’t , wish she would have let it go at that. 
“Because the only way to join the courts in any way my father deemed worthy was to marry them together. Literally.” Feyre’s eyes went wide and her gaze landed on me. I couldn’t meet her eyes. Shame rising up, tightening my throat. Rhys continued. 
“We all saw the power that Tamlin had, the power that marked him as the next High Lord of spring. And without any sisters for me to get paired off to, that left one option.” He shrugged over at me. 
“What happened? I mean, I’m assuming you never…never went through with it.” I took a deep breath, willing my voice to work. 
“I moved to the spring court, I tried to fight it but my father would absolutely not hear it. Every plea fell on deaf ears. So I went because I had to,” my hands were shaking as I pulled up the memories. “It wasn’t so bad. Tamlin was different back then, sweeter, less guarded. At least when he wasn’t around his father. We became friends over time. But the closer we grew, the more protective he got over me.” She nodded, understanding the feeling. “Eventually it became a little more. He fell faster than I did, I never really saw him as more than a close friend but we were supposed to be married so I played along. Wishing every day that I could return his sentiments. Calanmi came that next year and he sought me out.” She paled at my words, her hand rubbing absentmindedly at her neck. I quickly added. “It wasn’t horrific by any stretch of the imagination. If I had said no, regardless of the magic, he wouldn’t have done it. Would have stopped. But that was when everything shifted for him. I couldn’t go out to the gardens without having his sentinels on my tail. Was damn near confined to only the house. Lucien wasn’t around as much then, still fairly new to the court. And of course, his father was watching our every move. Gauging the relationship as it progressed. Watched as I withered away under Tamlin’s overbearing protection.” I couldn’t stop the words as they flowed out of my mouth. 
“I pushed back as much as I could. I was constantly sneaking out which only made him more overbearing. We fought more than we didn’t. Both of us said and did horrible things to each other. I knew I couldn’t live like that forever. Couldn’t continue to suffer just because my father had some grand plan.” I finally met Feyre’s eyes and I almost flinched at the understanding in them. Of course she would get it. Her own experience was not too different from mine. She nodded at me, a sign to keep going. 
“So I started planning how to get back home. I couldn’t just winnow away in the dead of night. I knew he would come looking for me. I knew he wouldn’t let me go that easily. I had to break whatever love he thought he held for me, I had to make him let me go willingly. It wasn’t peaceful by any means. I went too far one day in an argument and for the first time ever he lost control.” I pulled up the arm to my jacket, letting the glamor fall away on the three angry claw marks that I never let heal. A reminder of just how destructive both of our tempers had gotten. 
“Why do you seem so calm about this, why didn’t you let me know…I would have-” Her skin was rippling with darkness. Fire flickering from her palms. 
“Would have what, Feyre? You were willing to die for him. I couldn’t take that away from you. I wanted to believe he could change, that he would be better to you. But that is simply how he loves.” I took a steading breath. “I said we both did some terrible things to each other and I stand by that. He’s a villain in my story as much as I am in his.” 
“We simply didn’t want to think we were trying to turn you against him” Rhys echoed. 
Rhys reached for her as she was already walking towards him. My ears barely picked up the whispered words. 
“I want to paint you.”
“Nude would be best” I rolled my eyes as Rhys reached to winnow me with them. 
I was able to catch up with Mor and Cassian as they surveyed the newest girls in training. Most of them were too scared to even pick up a sword, their eyes not moving from worriedly staring at Cassian. Signing, I stepped up in front of him. 
“Magic or no magic?” He asked, raising a challenging eyebrow to me. 
“Magic.” That gave him full permission to use his siphons. That was one department where I needed the practice as much as he did. I tried to pull all my focus on that kernel inside me. The smoke curled out from me before it retreated the moment I moved towards Cassian.
“Try harder.” He growled at me. And I did. I’d been able to coat the ground in the black fog. Cassian stepping to avoid it, but it followed him like a serpent. Twisting and curling around him. It was easier this time. More like trying to pull it through murky water as opposed to a brick wall. Something had changed since this afternoon. It was easier to hold onto it, and didn't leave me as breathless as before. It took a few more tries but I was even able to move around, the fog still staying on the ground. When we were done, I noticed Mor was coaching three of the girls who had been brave enough to pick up swords. I smiled at Cassian as we both watched her. It wasn’t much but it was progress. Slow progress but a start. 
All of us sat around the fire that night. Gathering as close as we could, trying to gain any sort of warmth from it. Feyre looked like her hands might just fall off, not built for or used to the frigid temperatures the night brought with it. We sat absently chatting as we all ate. Mor was going to Hewn city in the morning and Azriel had already left to scout out the human lands. I wasn’t happy with the idea of him going alone but he waved off my concern, promising me he would be safe. Mor, true to her word, left before the sun had even risen the next morning. Grumbling my good bye to her through sleep filled eyes. 
Rhys had convinced me to train with him and Feyre again. Impressed by the progress both of us had made so far. Feyre and I traveled further back into the clearing, putting space between her and my brother. I didn’t ever ask him what exactly had happened during starfall but the tension between the two was palpable and I didn’t blame her for needing space. As much as I hated being away from Azriel, the distance was nice. I felt like I was suddenly unable to think clearly around the shadowslinger. Thoughts more often than not drifting towards the memory of his lips on mine, his hands around my waist. 
A voice I recognized called out Feyre’s name. And to my horror it was not my brother but Lucien standing in the middle of the clearing. 
I stood by, ready to use my powers at the first sign from Feyre. Lucien and the wraiths at his side had yet to notice me. 
I hung onto every word of their exchange. Someone tipped us off that you had been here. Rage boiled my blood. Devlon no doubt being that someone. I took a step forward as Feyre stepped back. 
“Tamlin hasn’t been himself. We’ll take you back-
“Touch her and I kill you.” There was no warmth in my voice for my old friend. Lucien spun around so he was facing me. Giving Feyre time to put space between the two of them. He stared at me, mouth gaping. Smoke was already swirling around my feet. It would take nothing for me to reach out and get Feyre out of here. But this was her battle to fight. I wouldn’t make that choice for her. I felt my self control start to slip as he opened his mouth again.
“Of course. What poison have you been spewing into her ears?” He spit at me. 
“Don’t make this about me.” I spit back so harsh, he flinched. A twig snapping had Lucien whipping back to face Feyre. 
“Let’s go home.” He said as he reached out a hand. I reached for my dagger, wondering if I would be fast enough to sever it from his body if he reached any closer for her. 
“That stopped being my home the moment you let him lock me away inside.” She spoke, quiet as death. He at least had the decency to look ashamed. 
“He made a mistake. He’s sorry, we’re both sorry.” I couldn’t help the scoff that left my mouth. He only ripped his gaze on her away for a second. 
“All this time and you can’t come up with better excuses, Lucien?” I goaded him, “Will he change? Will he be better if she just gives him time?” I felt the fog thin out by my feet. I didn’t pay it any mind. 
I lunged forward the same time Lucien did. A shout leaving my mouth. But his hands found nothing. Feyre was now standing behind him with Rhys at her side. I didn’t let myself relax. 
“Didn’t your mother tell you what the word no means?” Lucien did nothing by spit at my brother's feet. But it was that one word from his mouth.Whoring prick. That had me lunging for him. A firm arm across my chest from Rhys was the only thing holding me back. 
“You made your point Feyre-now come home.” He reached his hand out again but feyre only stepped back. 
“You gave up on me.” The way she spoke those words hit me like a punch in the gut. Lucien’s eyes flickered over to me. No doubt remembering me saying similar things. I was suddenly very far away until I saw those beautiful IIlryian wings peek over her shoulder. Lucien to his credit did not fall as he stumbled back. 
“What did they do to you?” Horror laced his words. Good. 
“Tell Tamlin I won’t be coming back. That if he sends anyone for me, I’ll show him exactly what we do to those who wander into our court.” I felt no sympathy at the hurt that washed over Lucien's face. 
“You’re dead. You and everyone in your court.” He was gone before I had the chance to lunge at him. 
“Scheming prick. Stupid, overconfident bastard.” I kept shouting, kicking the snow around me. I had half a mind to go track him down at the spring court and finish the job I should have done a long time ago. It wasn’t truly Lucien I was mad at, no he was simply the messenger. Once again trying to clean up Tamlins messes. It was either that or have no court to call home. Anger flared through me at the thought. How Tamlin took advantage of Lucien’s situation and turned him into nothing more than a mindless crony. I didn’t pay attention to the words Rhys and Feyre spoke around me. Didn’t even notice Cassian flying in beside me until he gave my arm a small shake. I ripped it out of his hold without even thinking, letting loose a snarl. He spoke my name, reminding me of where exactly I was.
“You’re all safe. Come back with me.” He said, moving closer to me again. I felt the tears already sliding down my face as he scooped me into his arms. 
I hardly moved for the rest of the night. The shivers that ran through me had nothing to do with the cold. Azriel was still hunting for lingering signs of Lucien or the spring court so that left Cassian to deal with me. Something he was not known to be the best at, despite his best efforts. 
I sat with him until Mor came to collect us both, whatever business she had in Hewn city officially ended. 
She sat with me all night. Both of us curled up against each other as we slept. 
Rhys and Feyre were supposed to be back later in the day so we all waited around for them. Hour after hour past and not a word from them. Azriel had left once again when we told him as much. He returned an hour later. 
“Nothing?” I asked him. He slammed his sword down on the table. 
“Not a damn thing.” He huffed, storming to one of the rooms in the back of the house. 
It was almost nightfall and I had been pacing back and forth across the living room of the small house when I heard a noise from outside. All of us were on our feet, rushing outside before we could think better of it. 
The sigh of relief that left me quickly turned into a gasp as I saw Rhys fall to his knees. Cassian and Azriel were on their side of him instantly. Feyre was still standing, in perfect shape actually. Good enough that she was able to march right past me and into the house. The two Illyrian warriors all but dragged Rhys into the house before leaving to go collect Majda. Feyre or Mor were nowhere to be seen.
Rhys’ eyes opened slightly and he only called out Feyre’s name. I shushed him, dabbing a wet washcloth over his head, he was burning hot. Majda came and confirmed what I already knew. Poison. Faebane. 
“He’s healing so he’ll need to just sleep it off,” she rose from beside his bed. “His mate's blood very well might have saved his life. He’ll recover in a day or two.” Her words caught me off guard. His mate. If Feyre knew her blood could heal him…Shit. Casssian and Azriel must have made the connection at the same time I did because when we heard Mor enter the house again, we all ran to find her in the living room. 
We pulled out a bottle of good wine as she confirmed what we had already thought. Feyre knew, no she doesn’t seem happy. No I won’t tell you idiots where she is. Of course, we could find her on our own if need be but it was the idea behind it. Mor only shared the more intimate details with me. Shooing the males out of the room. “Go take care of Rhys if you care that much. He’ll tell you himself.” They both stomped off in a way that reminded me of toddlers, walking into Rhys room. Mor rushed the words out. Feyre was fine overall, just pissed at him at all of us for keeping something this big a secret. I didn’t blame her one bit but it still stung a little that she was mad at all of us. Did she know how much we had been begging Rhys to tell her? 
Rhys woke up in the middle of the next day. He winced as I slammed the door
“How did she find out?” 
“Hello to you too. No, how nice to see you Rhysand, I’m glad you’re not dead.”
“How did she find out?” I asked again. He sat up a little more, wincing slightly
“She trapped the Suriel.” I balked at him. “It seems it’s not the first time she's done it either.” 
Feyre had trapped the Suriel… that could mean. I didn’t want to get my hopes up but I was already on my feet. 
“Where are you going?” 
“Stay out of it, Rhys.” I closed the door a little softer. It took me practically getting on my knees, begging, to convince Mor to take me to the house she tucked Feyre away in. She only agreed when I promised I wouldn’t mention my brother. She needed to bring Feyre more food anyways.
I stood outside the door, feeling very stupid as I held a basket full of food for her.“If you’re asking me to forgive him, you’re barking up the wrong tree.” Feyre had only opened the door an inch
“I need you to tell me how to catch the Suriel.” She opened the door wider
“Why do you want to know?” She motioned me into the house and I looked around wildly. The smell of fresh paint lingered in the air and covered her skin. 
“I have something I need to ask. Please. I know you don’t owe me anything, especially right now. But please.” 
I stood in the middle of a clearing, new cloak in hand. My hands had frozen on the walk over but I had to talk to the Suriel. I knew it was around here, if it had talked to Feyre only the night before. The snare I made was sloppy at best. But I prayed to the mother it would work. 
The scream that echoed through the clearing had me running towards the sound, crossing my fingers. 
It had indeed worked. The Suriel had my velvet cloak in its hands.It thrashed violently as I approached, suddenly;y going still as it sensed my presence. 
“ Let me down before I gut you.” 
“I have a question first.” Hollow eyes looked at me, pinning me in place. 
“You seek answers about your curse?” 
“How do I get rid of it?” 
“You already know how. The very thing that the wicked queen knew you would never do.”
“Stop the games. Tell me.” I was shouting, hands shaking. 
“Forgiveness. Forgive the one you hate the most.”
I flinched like the Suriel had burned me. The words swam around my head. I vaguely realized I was shaking my head. 
“That can’t be it.” I pleaded. 
“I am many things, but a liar is not one of them.” I felt the angry tears starting to trail down my face. “Now let me go. I only have so much patience for meddling fae today.” I pulled out one of my jeweled daggers, slicing the rope that held the Suriel’s ankle. As the figure retreated, I sank down to my knees. Forgive the one you hate the most. 
It was a rare occurance to be summoned to her private chambers. Attors on either side of me, ready to strike at the first sign of push back. They unceremoniously threw me into the center of the room, pushing me to my knees in front of the red headed female. 
“Leave us.” She said in a voice that turned my stomach. I dared to raise my eyes off the ground. Rhys was perched in a soft looking chaise, he didn’t hold my eyes for long. The Attors shuffled out of the room but I knew they lingered in the hallway. 
“I hear you’ve been causing trouble again, princess.” It was all I could do not to flinch at the way she said that name. The name my family had called me for centuries. A defiled, twisted rendition of the sign of my family's love. “Well, I have a surprise for you.” Her voice dripped with a wicked delight. From somewhere in the room a noise drew my attention. I completely froze as I saw Tamlin being led out in chains. Even Rhys momentarily broke his mask to glare at him. Amarantha smiled at me as she walked over to him. She squeezed his cheeks in an overly familiar way. “Doesn’t he look good like this?” She laughs at my lack of response, pushing him away from her. He didn’t try to hide his stumble. “No groveling at his feet then? No apologies for the mess you got him into?” 
“That’s no-” An invisible hand around my throat cut off the words. Rhys’ eyes flickered to mine, an apology lingering in his violet stare. 
“Did I say you could speak?” She released her magic and I nearly fell to the ground, sucking in painful gulps of air. She stalked towards me, stopping inches from me. Her hand went out to cup under my chin, forcing me to look her in the eye. “Maybe if you hadn't broken his heart, he would have accepted my offer the first time.” I bared my teeth at her and she gave a sharp cold laugh. 
“Oh, this is going to be so much fun. Are you sure there’s no kind words for our little High Lord over here?”  I just held her gaze. Not wavering as I saw the fury in my lack of response, my lack of fighting. “Pity. Where’s that sharp tongue of yours now?” She pushed me, I landed on my back. I didn’t even cry out, too familiar with this treatment from her. 
“You’ve made your point.” Rhys said in a bored voice from his seated position. She only gave him a low growl. 
“You’re no fun.” She cooed at Rhys. The same voice you would use on a babe. Despite my best efforts, trails of black smoke so thick it looked like ink left my fingers. Another invisible force collided with my body and my power retreated back to me, my chest feeling like someone had poured ice water into my veins. Before I could even attempt to try again, she lifted me onto my feet by my hair. “As much as I’d love to see you try, I’m bored with you already.” She yanked my head back before releasing her hold on me. “Tamlin, any words of goodbye?” Forest green eyes met mine. After all that I endured in this hell, I had never felt as small as I did now. That simple glare, so full of hatred, reducing me to that same afraid girl I had once been. Tamlin didn’t speak. Neither did I. 
“Shame. You’ll wish you would have said something soon enough.” I didn’t have time to think over her words as the cold hands of the Attor wrapped around my arm, hauling me back to my room. Didn’t make the connection between that slam in my chest with the trickle of power that I was left with. 
It was right there. Amarantha was never one to just give you information. Just like that riddle that had saved us all. Everything had been a game to her, why would this have been any different? But there had to be another way. Thinking back to my encounter with Lucien recently, there was no way in hell I was forgiving any of them any time soon. I would talk to Helion. Go by myself if need be. Because it was going to be a cold day in Hel before I ever forgive Tamlin. 
I called out for Rhys. For anyone to come and get me. It was at least a day's journey on foot back to the boundary line outside of Windhaven. I sat by and no one came after me. I reached deep within myself and imagined the space I wanted to go to. I didn’t even make it half way before I popped back into the cold clearing, panting. I tried again and it was like I was reaching through brick again. My powers boarded up behind walls I could not break through. I kicked at the snow, cursing. I tried one last time, crying out when nothing happened. So I began to walk back, hoping when I got close enough Rhys would hear me screaming for him in my head. It wasn’t Rhys that came to get me. Instead, Mor appeared beside me. 
“Where have you been?” She said when she spied me, half frozen from the wind. 
“Later.” Was all I could get out, I was bone tired. 
“You all really need to get your shit together.” She grumbled under her breath as she winnowed us back to the house. Don’t I know it.
Rhys had gone to apologize to Feyre, and had not been back since. We could only hope that meant all was well, or that she had at least hid the body herself. 
Rhys and Feyre returned the next day. They didn’t even attempt to hide the smell of the bond, and as happy as I was for my brother I gave him a wide berth. Cassian on the other hand only saw the tension in Rhys shoulders, the way his eyes were drifting between Feyre and every other movement around him. 
“Anytime you want a real ride, Feyre, let me know.” As if his words weren’t enough, the wink he sent Feyre had Rhys lunging for him. I had to quickly side step out of the way to avoid being hit by flailing wings. Ushering Feyre into the house I muttered loud enough for her to hear, “Big Illyrian babies.” 
They fought for an hour and despite being covered in blood, Feyre sent Rhys a look that the rest of us could not run away from fast enough. Mor winnowed the two of us to the house of wind. Azriel was already there, wings tucked in tight as he looked out the large window overlooking Velaris. I snuck up behind him, a rare achievement to make the spymaster jump when I placed a hand on his shoulder. The others slowly trickled into the room as we all waited for Feyre and Rhys to join us. 
The sun was just starting to touch the water when we heard them enter. One by one we stood in front of Feyre before giving a low bow, hands on our hearts in an ancient gesture of respect. One she had more than earned. I couldn’t help but smile at my brother's joy, it radiated off of him in waves so strong I swore I could reach out and grab them. The joy of finally having Feyre by his side. Rhys’ eyes followed my hand as I rubbed a small circle into my chest, separate from the sign we had given Feyre. The tension eased slightly.  Rhys quickly looked away before I could ask him why he was staring so intently on me. 
The human world was just as I remembered it. Despite seeing it less than a month ago, I still gawked as we approached Feyre’s family home. I knew she never lived in this particular estate but the idea that Tamlin made this possible for them thawed my heart just a fraction. Forgive the one you hate the most. I haven't gotten the chance to talk to my brother, or anyone, about what Suriel had told me. Everyone too caught up in Rhys and the Queens we were sitting in front of. 
I sat in stunned silence at the vipers in crowns in front of us. The queens I had met before would laugh if they heard these were their predecessors. 
Mor opened the box in front of her and I had to sit on my hands to stop the urge to knock it out of her hands and destroy the orb. Azriel’s hand on my shoulder did nothing to calm the storm brewing inside of me. We all took a collective breath as the bright lights of Velaris filled the orb.
“This is Velaris,” My brother started and I felt his heart shatter in front of me. “For five thousand years, we have kept it a secret from outsiders. This is what I have fought so hard to protect. The cruelty you believe I possess to protect this city, my people. Dreamers and creators and good people with families. People that have never known strife or violence. All of what I have gone through over the centuries was to protect them.” I couldn’t stop the sniffle that left me and I desperately tried to blink back the tears rimming in my eyes. 
“We will..consider this information.” Mor snarled beside me. I felt like the eldest queen had punched me in the stomach. I went to stand but Nesta beat me to it. 
“Give.Them.The.Book” I didn’t discount the single tear streaking down her own face. 
“No.” A word so final I couldn’t breathe. 
“We appreciate the gesture of your trust.” But I could not look away from the way Cassian stood next to Nesta. The calm he emitted from standing so close to her. When I looked back the queens were gone. 
I looked to my brother, head reeling at the events that had just happened. We fulfilled our end of the bargain. Screaming, manipulative-
In Rhys’ hand sat a box, a box not unlike the one Feyre had struggled to open when we returned from the summer court. A surprised noise left my mouth and Azriel tightened his hand on my shoulder, rubbing small comforting circles. 
Nesta and Elain chose to stay in the mortal lands. The sisters are staying in their family home. The last thing I heard before we left was Nesta whispering to Feyre. That’s why you painted stars on your drawer. 
There was no celebration when we arrived back in Velaris. No sense of triumph as we handed the book to Amren. We had gotten what we needed but at what cost. To Rhys, to my family, it had cost everything. All that he suffered during the war, from my father, from the Illyrian soldiers that looked down on him so much. All that he suffered under the mountain, from Amarantha, all the horrible things we had done together. All of it was sacrificed to the wicked queens who still did not know we possessed the book. Queens who would gladly sit back and watch Prythian and their world be destroyed. 
Rhys and Mor went to the Court of Nightmares the next morning, to return what we had stolen before Kier noticed. Azriel and Cassian pulled me into my study to go over the map, planning for the inevitable war. We added more pins to the maps, adjusting the Illryians to their new location scattered across the mountain ranges. Added the black pins for the warriors we prayed Kier would grant us. I don’t know how long we stayed in that room, Cassian and Azriel periodically doing a lap of the house and its perimeter to watch for anyone who would want to hurt Feyre. Overgrown guard dogs. But I found that even I was keeping a more watchful ear out for any sign of trouble, a light cover of fog I kept over my hands like gloves, ready to attack at a moment's notice. 
The next day, Azriel pulled me from the map to accompany him on patrol. Leaving Cassian the great pleasure of entertaining Feyre until Rhys’ return later today. The city held an eerie silence today despite the citizens going about their usual routines. It wasn’t much later than that thought crossed my mind that I felt the ground beneath my feet quake. My head whipped to Azriel who had gone as still as a statue, his shadows scattering out from him searching for the source of the sound. 
“Azriel?” I questioned, looking around the area for any threat. And then I followed his eye line. Eyes turned to the once clear midafternoon sky, now tinged in clouds of darkness. They were moving far too fast to be only storm clouds. 
“Get Amren and Cassian, now” I choked out. Azriel’s arms were around me instantly, taking off into the sky. Feyre and Cassian had gone to the amphitheater on the other side of the city, hopefully they weren’t far from there. A red light filled the sky, a homing beacon to where we would find Cassian. Quake after quake filled the ground as those creatures tore through the shield around the city. They reverberated through the air, Azriel only held onto me tighter.  
Cassian was shooting through the sky and I felt the ground beneath my feet. Azriel stayed long enough to hear me cry out to him, “Be safe.” He was gone. And I was running towards the direction I had seen Cassian fly in from. Screaming filled the air and I reached for the sword on my back, daggers left forgotten on my hip. I gave tentative push of my power and could have cried in relief at the cloud that pushed out from me, however thin it was. I pulled my earlier thought from my mind, the twinge of something I felt as I had looked at Feyre’s home in the human lands, the physical proof of Tamlin taking care of them, I focused all my spare energy onto that single kindness and I watched the fog grow thicker, curling around me in a way that was so familiar.
 I clutched at that feeling as I heard the screams around me grow louder. I could not run fast enough to stop the swarm of Attor like creatures that flooded the streets. I thought of Elain’s sweet face and Nestas beautiful dresses and willed my power to wrap around the creatures in front of me. If they could see me, they didn’t let it show. The only sign I had that my power had worked against them was the choked screams they let out. My sword tinged with their blood as I ran it clean through them. I pulled that black smoke into me, panting as I forced my legs to run ever faster. Reaching out for something deeper, I visualized the next swarm of them I could see and I felt the familiar pressure as I appeared in the middle of them. Shooting my power out with a force I didn’t recognize, I made quick work of them. They didn’t even get the chance to scream this time. I couldn’t focus on the blood that now stained my blade and face. Could only think of the distance between me and the bright pops of red and blue in the sky, the water I could hear roaring just ahead of me. If I had looked up I would have seen the pack of water wolves Feyre was using to chase them from the city streets and back into the air. 
The tremble that took my feet out from under me was one that did not scare me. Rhys had arrived and his rage took out half of their forces. His power filled the air with a metallic scent and I did my best not to think about what the dusting of red was as it covered my skin. A second roar, far stronger than the first one spurred me on. I did not fear the darkness that slipped over my eyes, those stars and nothing short of pure night. When I could finally make out shapes again, I saw the outline of wings, not those gnarled and bony wings of the creatures attacking us, but Illyiran wings, claws fully extended. I didn’t think as I barreled towards the shape. Didn’t think as I launched myself into Azriel’s chest. His arms came to wrap around my waist, pulling me so tight to him I struggled to breath but I couldn’t find it in myself to care. I gulped down whatever breath I could, filling my lungs with the scent of him. Heart hammering in time with his own wild heartbeat. The screaming had stopped, leaving only a horrifying silence in their wake. I did not let go of Azriel as he winnowed us back to the townhouse. 
All of us were sitting in the living room of the house in various states of disarray. Mor’s hair was caked with dirt and flecks of blood, her eyes starting to flutter shut. Feyre was curled up next to her also looking like she was ready to fall asleep any moment. 
I could see the gears in Cassian's head spinning. The general already thinking about what this means for the greater battles ahead. Obviously, the queens had sold us out to Hybern. Our home had been used as a bargaining chip and it had bit us in the ass. 
My eyes flickered over to Rhys and I could tell his thoughts were in a similar spot. It wasn’t your fault. I said into his head. He flinched, a disgusted look replacing the grief for a brief second. I told them where the city was, I gave them the information freely and for the first time in centuries an outsider knows about the city and then we get attacked. How is that not my fault sister? It was my turn to flinch. With Rhys in his current mood, there was no point in trying to argue back. So I finally closed my eyes and tuned out the conversation between Cassian and Rhys. I didn’t have the energy to talk about Hybern right now. The throbbing headache behind my temples let me know just how much magic I had used today and let me know how much I needed to start hunting for ways to break this curse.
At some point Azriel had stretched out next to me on the couch, my back to his side. Half asleep, I turned to face him and just grabbed his arm. Curling around him as best as I could in our current position. Someone in the room chuckled as I settled down once again. I don’t know how much time passed as they all just sat and talked. I drifted in and out of sleep but couldn’t piece anything coherent together. At some point I felt Cassian standing over me. 
“Come on let’s get you to bed.” His voice held more humor than I would expect from him after today. My eyes didn’t even open before I said. 
“Move me from here and you will lose that hand.” I snuggled closer into Azriel to prove my point. The male by my side laughed a stiff laugh but wrapped his arm around me tighter. I was too tired to care about the content purr that left my chest at the motion. Too tired to care that he scooped me up in his arms and carried me all the way to my room. And definitely too tired to hear the three words he whispered to me as he closed my door.
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Taglist: @nickishadow139 @tothestarsandwhateverend @quinzzelx @durgenyx @i-am-infinite @mariahoedt @acourtofbatboydreams @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @nocasdatsgay
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crdteezv · 7 months
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Frat House - Yangyang Ver.
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DISCLAIMER (important): This is a continuation of a fratboy series I’m doing for all the Wayv members! I recommend you read the prologue here first so everything can make more sense. You can also choose the other members here or at the end if you are interested in seeing someone else!
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Paring:  !fratboy! yangyang x afab! reader
Genre: college! au, frat! au, smut
Synopsis: You continue playing an interesting game of Spin the Bottle/Truth or Dare with Ten and his friends. You were dared to spend the night with one of them. When the bottle was spun, it landed on Yangyang. You wondered what type of things you and him were about to get into tonight…
Warnings: smut. !possessive/jealous! yangyang, DUB-CON, toxic…, also somewhat dark and not for the faint of heart, dirty talk, teasing, kissing, fingering, hair pulling, oral (giving/receiving(69)), throat fucking, manhandling, masochism, spanking, video recording (consensual), edging, o.denial/control overstimulation, unprotected sex
Word Count: 3.2k words
A/N: I know it’s been some time since I last updated this series. But, I would like to say that it is hopefully coming to an end very soon! Next, I will work on Xiaojun and then finish off with Winwin. Now I hope you all enjoy the Yangyang ver!
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After Hendery spun the bottle, it landed on Yangyang.
You felt a bit surprised but relieved that it didn't point to a certain someone. Plus, you kinda know Yangyang so this wouldn’t be too awkward for you. 
"Looks like you're staying with me tonight!"
"Yeah, sounds good. I'm pretty tired anyway, let's head up now."
He agreed and took your hand, leading you upstairs to his room.
Meanwhile, Hendery was still processing what happened. He felt a bit upset because he wanted the bottle to land on him. Others understood his feelings but moved on eventually. Everyone went to their rooms to sleep for the night.
♡♡♡♡♡♡
You have arrived at Yangyang's room.
It was nice and simple with a lot of grey undertones. His bed was facing the TV and was accompanied by his gaming setup.
"Hey, you can take the bed, and I'll crash on the floor or something–"
"No, it's okay. I'd feel bad making you sleep on the floor. Come here."
You gently pulled him towards the bed, feeling surprisingly at ease together.
"Your gaming setup looks pretty cool. So, you game a lot I assume?"
"Yeah, I do! I usually play with Winwin or Hendery. Lately, we've been hooked on Apex."
Seeing him talking about something he is passionate about, made him have this sparkle in his eye. You were so focused on what he was saying, you started to notice how attractive he was.
"I've never really played it before. I'm usually swamped with schoolwork."
"Wait, we could play now! I'll teach you."
Agreeing nervously, you watched as Yangyang set up the game. With a controller in hand, he guided you through the basics, his excitement contagious. Soon, you were immersed in the game together.
Laughter filled the room as you navigated the game alongside him. Gradually, you found yourself enjoying his company, feeling a growing connection. As the night wore on, you sensed a subtle shift in the air, the space between you started to heat up with tension. Sitting closely against the bedframe, your thighs would occasionally brush with each other, which was distracting you from the game.
"Hey, are you alright? You're playing slower than usual."
"I'm fine, just not used to this controller."
Yangyang paused the game, intertwining his arms with yours, hands still on the controller as if to offer comfort and support.
"You see, this is how you do it–" 
Yangyang's hands covered yours, skillfully maneuvering the controller to control your character. It was as if he was playing the game for you. You couldn't help but feel a mix of embarrassment and heightened nervousness at his intimate gesture.
As you and Yangyang continued playing the game, the close proximity between you felt both exciting and nerve-wracking. His subtle breath on your neck sent shivers down your spine, a sensation you hadn't experienced before. It was hard to concentrate, and Yangyang noticed.
"Do I make you nervous? You've been squirming since we started playing again. We can stop if–"
"No, don't stop," you interrupted, feeling emboldened by the moment.
Leaning back into him, you gave him a seductive look, feeling a rush of adrenaline at the intimate exchange.
Throughout the night, Yangyang couldn't keep his eyes off of you, feeling a growing desire. He couldn't resist any longer. Slowly, he began to kiss the back of your neck, which sent tingles throughout your body. His hands found their way to your waist, his whispers in your ear
“You should keep on playing the game sweetheart. If you win, I’ll do whatever you want...”
Shivers crawled down your spine as he said that to you. But, who are you to deny such an offer? You nodded your head and he leaned back onto the bedframe and your backside was facing against him. You felt at ease and started to play the game again.
But Yangyang had other plans.
As you focused on the game, his teasing escalated. His hands roamed under your shirt, causing you to squirm and struggle to concentrate.
"Please stop, I can't focus–" you pleaded, feeling overwhelmed.
But Yangyang's actions only intensified, his playful bites on your neck were sending waves of pleasure all over your body.
"I never said this was going to be easy," he smirked against your skin, his touch was driving you to the brink of ecstasy.
Determined to win, you bit your lip, trying to block out the sensations and focus. This will all be over once you beat the game. 
Feeling Yangyang's hand inching lower, your breath caught in your throat as anticipation mingled with excitement. His touch through your clothed pussy sent a jolt of pleasure surging through you, and you couldn't suppress the moan that escaped your lips.
"Seems like you don't want me to stop either," he whispered huskily, his voice dripping with lust as he felt the dampness soaking through your panties.
His words only fueled the desire raging within you, and you didn’t want him to stop at all.
His words alone were making you feel more aroused for him and you don’t know how long you could take it anymore. 
He pulled your panties to the side and shoved his middle finger into your wetness. You let out a moan that was quickly covered up with one of his hands.
“Shh, you don’t want the others to find out what we are doing do you?”
You shook your head no and weren’t even focused on the game anymore. You were too immersed in all the things Yangyang was doing to you. Each thrust was pushing you closer to the edge. As waves of pleasure crashed over you, your moans became so out of control that you couldn't contain them anymore. But luckily Yangyang's hand muffled all the sinful noises you were making. Your body felt limp as you surrendered to the overwhelming sensations, losing control over yourself. Tears started to dwell down your face from all the stimulation you were feeling.
When Yangyang's thumb found its way to your clit, a primal scream tore from your throat, your body shuddering with pleasure.
He finds this all amusing and starts laughing at you.
“God, you can’t be this desperate for me, right? You’re not even playing the game for me anymore-”
He feels you squeeze and clench around his finger.
“Mhmm, you’re getting close sweetie? Then cum for me.”
He started shoving his fingers into you at a faster pace than ever before. And just when you were on the brink of climax, he stopped and pulled out his fingers immediately. You felt a sense of discomfort from being unsatisfied by his actions.
“Hey, why did you do that?”
His smirk only widened as he pointed to the TV, explaining his motive with a mischievous look in his eyes.
“It’s because you didn’t win love. I told you I will give you anything you want if you win.”
“Are you serious? It’s not even fair you, kept on distracting me.”
“Oh I know, and I don’t plan on making any of this easy for you. But I'll give you one more chance since I'm feeling generous tonight."
“YES! Now what’s the catch this time?”
He grabs the controller and switches the game to a simple racing game.
“Now, this should be easier for you to play and I will just be down here-”
He switches positions now between your legs while you lean against the bedframe.
You rolled your eyes out of annoyance. This is just going to be harder than before. But you were determined to win, fed up with his teasing. You agreed and focused on the game.
He started slow by kissing all over your thighs and squeezing them firmly with his hands. You stayed focused, he was not distracting you this time. He admired your determination but knew he could break you soon. His kisses turned into bites, making you tense. He let out a little smirk and continued marking up your thighs. 
You were more focused on the game than before. You knew for a fact he was going to do everything in his power to make you fall for him. But, you are standing your ground and not making any moves. He couldn’t wait any longer and started to lick up your drenched pussy. He put your legs over his shoulders and started to devour you like he was hungry.
You bite your lip hard and start to lose focus. You were almost done with the game and just needed to hold out a little longer. He didn’t care anymore and shoved your core into his face. He started lapping up all of your juices and even started sucking on your clit. 
You finished the game just in time and ended up in first place and you can fully let yourself go for him. You threw your head back in pleasure and started moaning even louder than before. You didn’t care if the whole house could hear you at this point, you just wanted Yangyang to keep going.
You pulled onto his hair and pushed him hard against you. You feel him start to whimper into you. The vibrations of all of the sounds he was making made you start to wince around him. You squeeze your thighs around his head and he starts to gasp for air. 
“Fuck baby, this is not enough for me come here-”
He lays down on his back and places you on top of him. He made you face away from him.
“Back that ass into me sweetie.”
You were taken aback as he grabbed your waist and pushed your pussy onto his face, causing you to let out a moan. No one had ever made you feel this aroused before, and he was practically driving you wild. He practically making you see stars. You grind your core onto his face and he was loving every second of this. 
As you were going at it, you started to notice that his cock was right in front of you. With a sinful idea in mind, you pulled down his shorts and boxers, stroking him with your hand. He moaned in pleasure, too focused on you to fully comprehend your actions. He couldn’t help but grind up into your hand. Pumping him faster, you reveled in his needy desire.
"You enjoy this, don't you?" you teased, slowing your pace as he begged for more.
“Mhm f-fuck yes, don’t stop-”
You started to slow down your pace and let out a playful laugh.
“I don’t know if you earned it yet. You teased me so much tonight and -”
“P-please, I won’t tease you anymore..”
You looked back at him and gave him a smirk. 
“You promise?”
He nodded his head you decided enough was enough. You took him into your mouth, and he threw his head back. He had already forgotten that he had a job to do too.
“Hey this don’t get too comfortable, you better get back to-”
You didn’t have to tell him twice. He went back to devouring your pussy and with more vigor than before. You let out a loud moan and decided to suppress all your noises by shoving your throat down his cock. You began to bob your head up and down wasn’t planning on stopping anytime soon. You were both overwhelmed by each other. Just a moment ago you were playing a spin-the-bottle game and now his face is deep into your pussy.
Who would’ve known this all happening because of Hendery's little dare?
Yangyang couldn't resist thrusting into your mouth, causing you to gag. Tears streamed down your face as you wondered if you could take this anymore.
The both of you were reaching your breaking point.
You felt his cock start to twitch in your mouth, and you clenched around his tongue in response. With increasing urgency, you both intensified your pace, driving each other to climax simultaneously, not wasting a single drop. You got off of him and almost fell back but he grabbed you in time. 
“Oh baby, we're not done just yet.”
You gave him a confused look and he grabbed you and pushed you down into the mattress on your back. He pinned your hands over and proceeded to take off the rest of his and your clothes. 
"You're so beautiful. I've always wanted to do this," he confessed, his words a mix of desperation and lust, unsettling you slightly.
"Every day in class, I'd stare at you, wanting to be closer," he admitted, his voice tinged with longing. "But Ten or Hendery would always get in the way..."
He slowly brought your legs up his shoulders and positioned himself into you.
“But now… I have you all to myself.”
You started to feel a little intimidated by him. He seemed so possessive all of a sudden. Before you could even say anything, he slips his cock into your pussy, eliciting a loud moan from you as pleasure surged through your body. Your eyes started to roll in the back of your head. 
He began to pound into you with rough, deep strokes, his pace relentless and unforgiving. It was as if he was consumed by an insatiable hunger for you, a side of him you had never seen before.
“F-fuck Yangyang s-slow down-“
“No, I can’t anymore. I’ve wanted this for too long, princess. Besides just a moment ago you were practically begging me to fuck you.”
His words were starting to get to you. You did ask for this but you didn’t expect him to be so feral for you. Apart of you didn’t mind it though. You almost like the feeling of being wanted and almost felt selfish for it. It’s been a while since someone wanted to be inside of you this bad. 
So you gave in and started to make out with him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and brought him closer to you.  He gripped on the headboard with one of his hands and started fucking deeper into you. His strokes started to become more sharp and precise. 
“F-fuck p-please keep going… right there-“
“Ah you’re liking this a lot more now huh sweetheart? You look so pretty for me.”
He caressed your cheek gently before deciding to change things up. Flipping you onto your stomach, he positioned you with your ass in the air and pushed your head into the pillow.
"Now, I'm not holding back anymore. I want you to be loud for me so everyone in this house can hear you, sweetheart," he whispered in your ear, delivering a loud smack to your ass that elicited a whimper from you.
“Especially Hendery and Ten.”
Your eyes widened as you realized Yangyang had planned this all along. He had been jealous since you kissed Ten in front of everyone
Little did you know, he and Winwin were in on it the whole time.
 When he was whispering to Winwin when you kissed Ten, he was telling him that he wanted to find a way to separate you and Ten. Yangyang thought if he could somehow convince Hendery to come up with such a dare, there was a chance he could have you to himself tonight. That's why he didn't object when Hendery first proposed the dare.
Yangyang was jealous.
You looked back at Yangyang with such anger "You wanted this to happen, didn't you? How long have you been planning this?"
“Since we first met in math class. I always saw you and Hendery going against each other and how close you were with Ten-“
He pulled you up by your hair and brought you closer to his face.
“Now here you are all alone with me. Begging for me to fuck you. Isn't it crazy how things have turned out?" 
“Oh you’re literally insane you know that?”
He pushes you back onto the bed and slips himself back into you.
“And you love that about me don’t you princess?”
With each powerful thrust, you moaned his name, torn between fear and lust. Despite your conflicting emotions, you couldn't deny how good he was making you feel. You felt like you were losing yourself to him and you didn’t want to let go of that feeling.
You were enjoying this and so was he.
He slowed his pace slightly, still inside you, and reached for his phone. He started to record you.
"Now, baby, look into the camera and tell me who makes you feel this good," he demanded.
"You... you do," you managed to gasp out.
He gave a harsh slap on your ass again and you let out a loud moan.
He delivered another harsh slap to your ass, eliciting a loud moan from you. "What was that, sweetie? I didn't quite catch that," he teased
"YOU DO!" you exclaimed, feeling the pleasure intensify as he pounded you deeper into the mattress.
"That's right, pretty girl. Only I can make you feel this good," he affirmed before stopping the recording and tossing his phone aside.
"Now that I've got what I wanted tonight, I think it's time to wrap this up, don't you think?" he suggested, his actions leaving you too overwhelmed to respond with words. All you could do was nod your head. You were too preoccupied to be able to let out any words at the moment. He was bringing you so much pleasure that all you could do was scream and moan in ecstasy.
He grabbed your waist with both of his hands and started to fuck you into the mattress. He gripped your waist so tight that it was starting to become a little painful to bear. You both eventually climax at the same time and he was riding out all of your orgasms. He wouldn’t stop until you were fully satisfied.
He fell back into the bed and brought you to his chest. You were both panting for air, trying to catch your breath. It felt a little awkward afterward and you both didn’t know what to say to each other.
“Hey look I’m sorry for the way I acted tonight. It’s just I’ve liked you for a very long time now and I just got carried away. I can’t help myself when it comes to you-“
You kissed him on his cheek. 
“It's fine, Yangyang. You just caught me off guard is all. I just didn’t know you were this crazy for me-“
"Hey, I'm not that crazy for you," he joked, attempting to lighten the mood after everything that happened between the two of you.
“Oh come on. You kept on going on and on about how much you wanted me and was being really possessive. I think that’s what you call crazy.” you teased, noting his surprised expression as he realized your point.
"Look, I'm sorry again, and we can forget about this happening, and I'll even delete the video–" he started, but you interrupted him by grabbing his wrist.
"Oh, but I don't want to forget what happened tonight. It was just getting fun, don't you think?" you said playfully, causing him to feel drawn to you once more.
"You don't have to delete the video if you don't want to. I know you want to show all the other guys what went on with me and you tonight," you added, observing his surprised reaction.
"Especially Hendery and Ten, right?" 
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**AUTHOR NOTES**: If you want to see what would happen if the bottle landed on a different member, choose here: [KUN] [TEN] [WINWIN] [XIAOJUN] [HENDERY]
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stolitzsings · 8 months
Text
This is a sort of response to a post I've seen floating around, drawing parallels between the chains in Blitz’s trip that bind him to Stolas and the chains that bind Husk, Angel, and Fizz to Alastor, Valentino, and Mammon respectively. I'm not commenting on that post directly bc I avoid Discourse (tm) at all costs for the sake of my health, and I don’t want to get drawn into an unproductive argument that will mess with my anxiety for a week. I'm not trying to start a fight, just get my thoughts out on why I feel that comparison is inaccurate, and hopefully provide some helpful context and nuance.
So! Let's start with a few disclaimers! First of all, I'm not going to debate the moral purity of any of these characters. I just don't think it's an interesting or valuable critique. On a related note, I am not trying to excuse any of their behavior. I'm happy to admit that my favorite characters in this show have hurt people and are sometimes total assholes. Stolas treated Blitz very poorly at the beginning of their relationship, frequently pushed or even ignored boundaries, and was just kind of a dick about things. My objection to a direct comparison between Stolas and the other characters mentioned above isn't because I think Stolas hasn't done anything wrong; I just think that saying they're similar without further clarification or commentary ignores the nuance of the situation.
Read on below the cut, it's gonna be another long one folks!
Let's start by examining the "agreements" forged by Val, Mammon, and Alastor. I think it's important to note that, in their cases, the person they got to sign their contract could have been anyone. Husk and Angel could have been any sinners, Fizz could have been any imp. They aren't interested in them as people; they were only using them to gain more power for themselves. The only thing that matters to them is, "What can you do for me?" Angel and Fizz quite clearly become cogs in the machine of Val and Mammon's businesses, and Alastor only thinks of Husk as a tool to be leveraged in specific situations to further his own mysterious goals. Each of them has demonstrated to their subjugates that they own them, body and soul. They have signed legally and spiritually binding contracts that essentially surrender their autonomy to a more powerful demon.
Stolas and Blitz’s agreement is... not that. In the most literal sense, they don’t appear to have made any sort of binding deal. They just made a verbal agreement, which I sincerely doubt has anywhere near the force of a signed soul contract. Additionally, Stolas did not ask for and does not seem to want that sort of total control over Blitz. He very clearly does not view this as any sort of power exchange (which may actually be part of the issue, since it leaves him blind to Blitz’s discomfort with their class difference), he sees it as "favors for favors." While this agreement is inherently unbalanced due to Stolas's status, it's worth noting that they’re both putting something on the line here. The other three risk practically nothing (if the person bound to them fails they can always get a new one), but Stolas IS taking on a real risk by letting Blitz access the living world illegally using his book. Again, that doesn't make his actions right, and probably helped him to justify them, but it does set their relationship apart from the others.
In my opinion, some of Stolas's greatest flaws are his thoughtlessness and his ability to justify his own actions to himself. This manifests in the fact that he clearly doesn't see the ways in which their relationship is hurting Blitz. He convinced himself that this was just an equal exchange, and a continuation of the dynamic Blitz established in their first encounter as adults: "I fuck you, and you give me the book". As he becomes more aware of his feelings for Blitz, though (stay tuned for a deeper analysis of this progression later), he also begins to realize that Blitz isn't happy with this relationship. And this, as @masonshmason pointed out, is the central fact that separates Stolas and Blitz from the other relationships. Stolas did not realize- or chose to ignore- how he was hurting Blitz. Once he came to terms with it, though, he understood that he had to make things right. He specifically says this in "Just Look My Way"; "I will try to make amends/ For making you means to an end". None of the others could say this, because in their case, that was the POINT. Angel, Fizz, and Husk were ALWAYS a means to an end, intentionally trapped for that purpose.
We also need to talk about the CONTEXT of the scenes in which the chain imagery appears. For both Angel and Husk, the chain is at least semi-literal, a physical (and perhaps supernatural) manifestation of the way their souls are bound to an overlord. In "Two Minutes Notice," Fizz purposely CHOOSES to represent his relationship to Mammon as chains around his wrists. However, Blitz's scene is part of a drug trip after being forcibly dosed with hallucinogens. It does not exist in any literal sense, nor is it a representation of Blitz’s conscious, literal thoughts. What it DOES do is showcase Blitz’s deepest fears and his greatest flaws through symbolism and metaphor. Blitz is not literally afraid of being forced to wear a clown costume; he is afraid he'll never escape his past traumas or Fizz's shadow. THIS is the context in which Blitz sees himself being chained by Stolas: a bad trip all about his fear of intimacy and vulnerability.
Stolas appears in this trip as someone elevated high above him, something he's climbing towards, reaching for, even though it means being chained to him. It's directly preceded by his ex girlfriend and his former best friend berating him for how he pushes people away even though he hates being alone. Then Stolas directly asks him, "Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?" Furthermore, the WAY in which he is framed is alluring, slightly hazy, golden and tempting. It couldn’t be further from the ugly, slime-covered past he's fleeing. It's a new start, a chance for something better that seems too good to be true. This trip is all about Blitz’s inability to be vulnerable with another person. The chain around his neck is a representation of the fact that, by getting closer to Stolas, he's giving Stolas the power to hurt him emotionally.
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And man, there's a part of him that wants to give Stolas that power. At this critical moment, he's not baring his teeth in defiance or anger. He's blushing, just slightly, and he looks... nervous. Blitz's instinct, when things get too real, is to cut and run. Hurt them before they can hurt you. Abandon them before they have the chance to leave you. It’s how he tanked his relationship with Verosika. This is a manifestation of what might happen if he stays. This is the sort of trouble he can't fight his way out of.
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This is the emotional climax of the scene. There are so many ways they could have gone with this if they wanted to represent Blitz being chained and trapped by his agreement with Stolas. If that was the fear--if that was the POINT--they could have had the chains wrap around him until he couldn't move, or glow white hot and burn into his skin, or a million other more direct metaphors. But the chains aren't the thing that hurts him. It's the feathers: the thing that's left behind after Stolas abandons him, sing-songing "you're going to die alone" right alongside two other people who he loved and who now want nothing to do with him.
Finally, let's look at Blitz’s reaction to this scene. It's a moment of revelation for him, in which he realizes he's pushing everyone away and starts to make an effort to change. It's why he's a bit more open with Moxxie in the next scene. The trip sequence ALSO inspires him to get closer to Stolas, indicating that the trip didn’t make him realize "I'm trapped and I need to get out of this" in the same way Fizz did. Rather, he realizes that he doesn't want Stolas to leave him like everyone else, and he wants to start feeling out what it would be like to deepen the connection between them. As I've mentioned in other posts, their kiss at the end of "truth seekers" represents a level of intimacy that we haven't seen before; it's teasing, affectionate, shows Blitz’s interest in making Stolas happy, and takes place in front of M&M, who have repeatedly teased him about their relationship before.
In summary, while the image of chains may have been invoked in all four of these relationships, they don’t necessarily mean the same thing across the board. Blitz and Stolas's relationship differs substantially from the others in its dynamic, and the context of their scene also sets it apart. It's important to look into the details and the nuance of their relationship to interpret what's going on under layers of trauma and unreliable narration.
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kamii-2 · 2 months
Text
“you thought wrong”
so sorry for not posting a chapter in almost 2 months but i hope you guys enjoy this long-ish chapter! a part of this chapter is based off of a fanfic i read a while ago, im not sure who wrote it or who the fic was about but if i ever find out who it is i will definitely give them a shoutout type thing. i’d also like to say this chapter is where things start to like really happen (idk how else to word it, hopefully you get what im saying) and im very sorry if the beginning of the sorry is confusing in any way, also act like they’re all old enough to drink.
warning(s): cussing, drinking, kissing
genre: fluff
pairing(s): kk arnold x reader
“you thought wrong” masterlist
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chapter 3: “is this some kind of prank?”
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the moment you accidentally opened the door then shut it, kk pulled away from the girl she was making out with and ran to ice, not telling the other girl what was going on. “ice, i think i messed up any chances i had with y/n. she just walked in on me making out with another girl.” kk told her best friend, trying to catch her breath from running down the flight of stairs. “why would you even make out with someone else if you wanted her so bad? are you actually stupid?” ice was mad that kk would even do something like that, wanting a girl then making out with another, it made no sense. “i haven’t done anything with anybody in a while and the girl offered so why not take up that offer?” kk said, half joking. kk thought about where you could’ve went, “she left second she came back down here.” ice said as she took a sip of her drink. “great.” was all kk said as she plopped down next to her best friend.
-
kk was all you could think about while you laid in bed, trying to sleep. after seeing her kissing another girl it made you realize how in love with her you were. you wished you were the one she was kissing, not some random girl at a house party who probably just wanted to use kk for sex. the image of her and the other girl kept replaying in your head again and again, you couldn’t take it anymore so you tried to watch tiktok to forget about kk and the stupid girl she was with. when you opened tiktok the first thing you seen was an edit of kk. “oh my God.” you said out loud as you got off the app and turned on your tv. you decided to just watch some netflix until you fell asleep.
when you woke up with a mild headache, you didn’t drink too much so your hang over wasn’t as bad as it usually was when you drank. you got up and took some medicine to ease the headache and drank water to help the pill go down your throat. you grabbed your phone and seen that symphony had texted you a few times asking if you were okay, you told her about how all you thought about was kk last night and how when you opened tiktok she was the first thing you seen. you two continued to text about what happened last night and other random things until symphony just randomly stopped texting you back for a good 20 minutes. you brushed it off and went on with your day, thinking she was busy or her phone died. in reality, symphony got a text from kk’s best friend, ice, on instagram.
-instagram direct messages-
@ice.brady: hey this is symphony right?
@symphony_roy: yea why?
@ice.bradyy: be honest, does y/n like kk bc kk likes her a lot and doesn’t believe me that y/n likes her back. @ice.bradyy: pls tell me i promise to not show kk like fr
@symphony_roy: yes 😭 ive been telling y/n since the day she told me that kk is gay and likes her back but her slow ass won’t believe me
@ice.brady: bro they act the same way exact same way 😭@ice.bradyy: anyway the reason im texting you is bc i think we should make them go in a blind date but don’t tell them the gender of the person bc i don’t want them to find out immediately
@symphony_roy: wait that’s a really good idea @symphony_roy: but we need to plan this more before we dive right into it
-real life-
after they planned out their entire plan, symphony went to your dorm. “hey.” you greeted as she barged in, using the spare key you had gave her. “so…. how do you feel about blind dates?” she asked while clasping her hands together, taking a seat on the couch next to you. “uhm, they’re okay i guess… why?” you reply while stopping what you were doing on your phone and side eyeing her. “because you’re going on one on monday.” symphony stated, “what?!?” you yelled while whipping your head to look at her, “i did not sign up for that!” symphony just stared at you, a small smirk on her face. “well, you’re going on it, i don’t care what you say.” symphony shrugged while getting up and leaving, “bye, remember you have a date in two days, i’ll send you the details later.” she closed the door.
-
when you woke up you seen kk had followed you back on every app you followed her on, seeing this made your stomach do backflips. you were a bit embarrassed because you had followed her for ages and she just now followed you back but you didn’t really care because atleast she followed you. as the day went on you kept stalking kk, being careful to not like any super old pictures on instagram or old tiktoks. you were stalking so hard you even found her mom’s facebook page. in the middle of your stalking, symphony barged in your room, “okay so what are you gonna wear tomorrow?” she asked while sitting at the edge of your bed, facing you. “i don’t know, probably jean shorts and a crop top.” you shrugged, “basic as hell. wear something more revealing, you gotta show off all that ass to them.” she half-joked, “bro then you find my outfit.” you sighed at her.
symphony went to your closet and started to look through everything to find the perfect outfit for you. after about 10 minutes she found a short, tight, light pink dress. you bought it last month and never got the chance to wear it. “it’s perfect, i’ll tell your date to wear something on the nicer side. you guys will look so cute together.” she smiled while holding the dress up. you were still unsure on the whole blind date thing but you were kind of excited for it, maybe you’ll meet your soulmate. you had thought about who it could be and you thought about it being kk but you weren’t sure if symphony would do something like that.
symphony stayed over for the rest of the day and didn’t go home until sunset. you two talked about life, ordered pizza, and watched a few movies sherrie she went back to her dorm. you were too nervous to go to bed, knowing that the next day at 7pm you would be meeting up with a potential complete stranger for dinner.
-
the whole day you were super nervous and could barely think straight. part of you was thinking about just not going but you know if you did that then symphony would rip you a new one. you were hoping the date was a girl and hoping it was kk but you knew it wasn’t gonna be her, kk was just making out with another girl 2 days ago, she wouldn’t switch that fast, or so you thought. at around 6:00 you started getting ready, putting on the dress and some white heels that made you an inch taller, and putting on light makeup. symphony showed up to your dorm at 6:34, “im taking you to the restaurant because im gonna sit a table or two away and watch yall.” she said with a huge smile on her face. you nodded in response and continued to get ready.
on the way there you were so nervous to where you thought you could throw up. the whole car ride you were silent and had short answers when symphony talked to you. “y/n its okay i promise. dont worry about anything. all you gotta do is meet this person, talk to them, eat dinner, then you’re done.” symphony reassured you, keeping her eyes on the road. you sighed and tried to think on the bright side of it, if you didn’t like this person then you’d probably never have to talk to them again. as you got closer you got more and more nervous but you kept thinking about what symphony said and it helped it go down.
when you two got to the restaurant you immediately got out and walked into the restaurant. symphony pointed, “your date’s already here.” you stopped dead in your tracks and whipped your head towards her. “is this some kind of prank?” you asked while wide eyes. “nope. your date is kk.” symphony laughed while pushing you towards the table. “symphony you’re fucking lying.” you said while trying to resist her pushing you. “i’m not, now go sit down and talk to her.” she said while pushing you again and walking away. you sighed before slowly walking over to the table that kk was at. when she looked up from her phone she paused for a second before she realized that you were her blind date. when you sat down it was quiet for a second before she said something. “hey y/n. how’s life been?” she said, not knowing what else to say. “it’s been fine, how about you?” you asked her, “good. did you know that i was your date?” kk asked with a smile. “no, symphony literally came into my dorm and told me that i was going on a blind date, didn’t tell me anything else.” you two laughed and continued to talk.
the night went very well, you two talked about everything under the sun and flirted a lot. symphony and ice were watching from a few tables over and talked about how cute you two were together. “i’m glad they made us go on this date.” you admitted while admiring kk, looking her up and down. “i agree, maybe i can get your number or something?” kk asked, “yea.” you say as you proceed to tell her your number. after she got your number the flirting was nonstop, now she was certain you liked her back. the rest of the night you two continued to talk about random stuff and even talked about going on another date.
at free you guys paid for the food snd drink you both went over to symphony and ice’s table. “hey guys.” ice said with a smirk, “do yall wanna go to a club or something?” symphony asked while standing up. “sure why not.” you said, “okay i’ll send you the address.” symphony said, talking to ice. ice nodded and you all went to the cars. “so how was it?” symphony questioned you the moment you both got in the car, “we were flirting the whole time and she asked for my number.” you answered, “aren’t you glad i made you go on this date?” she smiled while pulling out of the parking lot and driving to the bar, you nodded and told her more about the date.
after you got your ID’s checked, kk grabbed your hand and pulled you into the bathroom. “what’s wrong?” you asked when you reached a stall. “nothing.” she mumbled before kissing you, you immediately kiss back. the kiss felt magical, the way your lips fit together perfectly made your stomach do frontflips. you relunctsntly pulled away for air, “damn.” was all kk could say as she went back for more.
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i’m so sorry this took like 2 months to get out but i still hope you enjoyed!! i hope you have a good day/night, love you 💋💋
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