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queeniewritesce · 5 years

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Have a Magical Day 1/?

Pairing: Chris Evans x You, Chris Evans x OFC

Summary: A deserved break from work with your best friend turns your life upside when you meet the Evans Family while at Disney World. Follow along as Belle and Chris get to know each other over 10 days at the Most Magical Place on Earth™. Will they have a fairytale happy ending or is this just a vacation fling?

Warnings: Disney Rides Spoilers?, Mild Swearing, Chris Evans is a big kid, Fluff, Eventual Smut, long ass descriptions of rides, I don’t know how to write without turning it into a 10K fic, sorry ‘bout that

“Well, maybe next time we ‘Drink Around the World’ you’ll listen to me. I told you we should’ve eaten a pretzel in Germany or Fish and Chips at England.”

This was supposed to be your first night at Epcot and now your best friend was drunk and looking like hell warmed over.

“Bitch don’t talk food to me damnit, I’m so close to throwing up.” He leaned back into the bench and pinched his eyes. ‘Look, I’m sorry alright, I know it’s tradition, but Illuminations will have to wait till next week. I’m walking back to the Boardwalk, the fresh air might help, you stay and enjoy Extra Magic Hours.”

You sighed and asked if he was sure he’d make back to the hotel and he waved you off, saying it’s like walking backing home, which was true, you ever only stayed at The Boardwalk Villas as that was your DVC resort.

“OK, I’m skipping the firework and going back to Future World, Test Track was down all afternoon and I just looked at the app and it’s back on.” You kissed his cheek and he knew he was a bit better when he exclaimed ‘ewww girl slob’ at you, pulling a face.

You left him by International Gateway and started to your left when you heard someone behind you.

“Excuse me miss, you said Test Track was back on?” a sharp voice asked.

Turning around you saw a group of about 10 people, adults and a couple of kids plus a stroller. The voice belonged to one of the three males, he was tall, had on a character black shirt and had a NASA baseball cap pulled down low on his head.

“Yes? I just checked the app two minutes ago.” You pulled your phone from your shell cross body purse, opened the app again and confirmed it’s on. “Are you guys on site? Extra Magic Hour is on till 11 pm.”

“We are! We arrived this afternoon and didn’t look at the time schedule yet, thanks!” A short brunette answered you.

“No problem, you guys have a magical day.” You groaned when your cast member training kicked in.

Waving, you start to walk but could hear them talking and when you looked back the guy who had first talked to you, a shorter blond guy and the brunette girl had broken from the group and were now a few paces behind you.

You knew him from somewhere, didn’t you? When your mind couldn’t provide the answer, you shrugged.

You made your way through England and Canada, people watching as you went. People were lining up near the lagoon to watch Illuminations but seeing it alone wasn’t the same and you continued your way. You debated whether or not to stop at Starbucks and 15 minutes later you’re happily sipping on your Iced Caramel Macchiato while walking the corridors of Mouse Gear on a brisk pace.

You were checking your Twitter feed, head down and immersed on your phone when you walked into a wall. Because that what felt like right, who on earth was that hard?

“Ughh,” looking up you saw the same man from before, hat even lower now. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m sorry”.

You both said it at the same time, while you put your phone away.

“No, no, I was on my phone and didn’t see you there. You’re okay?”

You were near one of the least used exits of the store, and for a moment you thought that he as hiding. You quickly put that thought away, why would someone hide inside Mouse Gear anyways?

“No, I’m the one who’s sorry, I was… some people saw…” he scrunched his nose, rubbing his eyes with both hands.

“Don’t sweat it, crowds can be a bitch sometimes.” You had seen your fair share of people having panic attacks, anyone could have them. “I’m glad I didn’t pour my drink all over you. Sorry again.”

Just when you turned to leave you saw his companions looking around and making their way over.

“Hey Ch…” the blond stopped when he saw you. He looked at you a little suspicious. “Hey.”

“Hi again! I’m glad you’re here, your friend’s not really doing well, but he does a nice wall cosplay!”

“She’s cool man, I wasn’t looking where I was going, and we collided. She’s been keeping me company while my panic attack goes away.” He looked funny when he said panic attack but you let it go. He turned to you, “Meet my brother and my sister, Scott and Shanna. I’m… Chris.”

Oh. OH.

“Nice to meet you all, I’m Belle.” You’re prepared for the reactions that followed because let’s face it, that was just too much of a coincidence.

“Like the princess?

“No, you’re not!”

“It suits you.”

The last one came from Chris. That wasn’t new but wasn’t a norm either. You choose to ignore the blush rising on your neck and turned to the others.

“It’s Isobel... But Belle is easier. It was nice meeting you guys, see you around.”

You had the feeling the Scott Evans wasn’t overly fond of you, so you made yourself scarce. You heard someone calling for you to wait, but you’re already halfway through the door.

Captain freaking America. Talk about timing.

You heard the last booms signaling Illuminations was over and hurried to Test Track before the throng of people descended from World Showcase.

The few day guests are still in line, but you went through the single rider line and was quickly seated. Although you loved the thrill the ride offered, they placed you on your least favorite seat, so you made your way back to the front entrance and got into the normal line, scanning your Magic Band to show you’re staying at one of the Disney hotels and could ride during the extra time.

Making your way through the queue you got to the designing room and was excited to design a cool car. You had just started when someone cleared their throat behind you.

“And we meet again!” Chris and his brothers were standing at the same station as you. “I guess we have to share our car making skills.”

“Hurry up, we only have one minute and a half left.” Captain freaking America or not, no one messed your mojo when it was time to design your Test Track model car.

Turning back to the screen you tried to pick the shape of your car, laughing when Chris tried to turn it to a sports car but coming up with a beetle-like car. You argued about the color and accessories, pushing each other from the control panel and when the countdown reached zero, you had a bit of a Frankenstein car in front of you.

“It’s… cute?” you laughed when the green stripped car turned around the screen. Not your best work for sure, but you’d had a good time.

“It’s something alright, but cute it ain’t.”

You both laughed and Chris scanned his magic band to lock the car to your group and the doors opened to the final part of the queue.

“After you, Mademoiselle,” you laughed when he sang the first few lines of Be Our Guest when you did a little curtsy.

Scott was right behind you in line and he holds your elbow when the queue stopped moving.

“Sorry about earlier, I’m kinda protective about my brother.”

“It’s all good really. Water, bridges and all that.” you reserved judgment on the younger man, understanding his need to protect his family’s privacy. “You said you arrived today?”

“Yeah, unpacked and came straight to EPCOT, had dinner at Le Cellier,” Shanna said from somewhere behind Chris. She was a tiny thing when compared with her muscled big brother. “We’re heading back but heard you talking to your friend about Test Track and here we are!”

“Yeah, it’s down most of the day, we arrived around noon and every time I searched the wait times Test Track was unavailable. I’m glad they got it back together for EMH.”

“What about you Belle? It’s not your last day or anything is it?” Well, that was… interesting? Chris seemed eager somehow and on the back of your mind you chucked it for anxiety. Hadn’t you read somewhere he had anxiety? “Your friend seemed upset when he said you’d miss Illuminations.”

The queue moved and you could see the cars on the loading dock.

“It’s our little tradition, Corey and I came up with it like 10 years ago. We have to watch a fireworks show on our first park day. But he overdid it during the afternoon, especially because we were already a little drunk from Jelly Rolls last night.” They were next in line now. “How do you wanna play this?”

“First row!” You jumped when both Scott and Shanna screamed.

“Any place is fine really,” Chris said.

“Well, I’ a firm believer in the back row, right side, so you can have the left.” You looked around and saw that the single rider line was now closed. “With the number of people here, I don’t think they’re gonna force single riders on us.”

The cast member manning the loading area asked you how many but it was Scott who answered. A girl pointed you to the last loading station, the cars pulling up as you walked.

“You went to Jelly Rolls last night?” Chris asked, a hand out to help you enter the ride.

“Thank you. Yes, we arrived yesterday and mostly hanged on the Boardwalk. Saw some magic shows and had a way later night than we’d planned. But Jelly Rolls was awesome, I love the place and the sangria was so good.”

Chris nodded, sitting down and sprawling his long legs. “We love the place, there’s just something about live karaoke with a band, people are either really good or really fucking bad, it’s fun either way!”

The four of you snapped on your seat belts while you talked, and the car launched to the checkpoint. The girl making the checks must’ve been either new or slacking because she never asked Chris to remove his hat.

The car launched again, the usual spiel starting and then you’re off, speeding on the make-believe vehicle safety test drive. A particular turn had you moving on your seat so bad a hand shot out to hold you in place, landing on your knee and staying there. The fastest part of the ride arrived and everyone screamed, the wind outside making you tear up a little. Chris almost lost his hat and you made a mental note to send a memo to the ride’s crew leader.

Then it was over. The car made its way to the unloading dock while you clapped and then you’re cleared to open your seatbelts.

“Well, now we know why they put six people in the car, I was afraid you’d fly out of your seat when we hit 85 mph.” Chris again helped you out the car.

Gosh, that was fun, wasn’t it? You smiled at him waiting for Scott who had his seatbelt stuck somehow. Then an idea struck you.

“You guys wanna go again?” you took a chance because you’re having fun and damnit, he might be Captain freaking America but he was also cute as hell with that thick beard, plump lips and blue eyes, and if you could prolong this just one ride more, well, why not?

“Won’t we lose too much time going around front again? Looks like there are quite a few people in line behind us.” Chris looked at you and you could see the cogs turning inside his head, a frown forming. Maybe he thought he’d use his status to get another ride? You scoffed. As if.

“Nah, I got connections man.” You grinned at him and went to the guy you knew was the person in charge. Patrick laughed and hugged you with one arm, claiming you need to catch up before calling on his radio and them directed you again to the last dock.

“Thanks, Patrick, I owe you one” you bumped fists before the car moved forward.

This time when the car moved to the checkpoint a young man asked Chris to remove his hat. He did it with a sigh, fingers trying to tame the hair back in place and you had to struggle a giggle when the other guy working on the checkpoint squeaked.

You kept on a detached face and send a smile his way. The man was here to have fun, the best you could do was not bring attention to who he was. Besides, you were really enjoying his laid back attitude. He could’ve used a guide or gone through backstage, but here he was, waiting for his time in the queue like everyone else and you’re the one actually using your job to get what you wanted.

Chris once again helped you out and you were tempted to run your fingers through Chris’ hair, the wind had played havoc with the locks.

“This is the best ride ever, my favorite by far.” Shanna skipped ahead to see the automated picture and scan her Magic Band to move it to their Disney account.

You walked behind with Chris and Scott and it took you a few seconds to realize you still were holding hands with Chris. You raised an eyebrow at him but he just shrugged, a smile on his lips.

“Mine is definitely the whole Avatar area and of course Flight of Passage,” Scott said and then also raised an eyebrow at Chris but he got a friendly tap to the head when tried to actually point it out.

“Nah, it’s the classics, the best will always be Space Mountain.” He took the NASA cap off again, turning it backward when the three of you got outside and he did it all without letting go of your hand. Impressive fella, wasn’t he?

“Sorry to burst your bubble but Space Mountain sucks, at least here in Florida. My knees hurt just thinking about it.” You faked a shudder, also making a face for good measure.

“Oh, them be fighting words!” Chris tickled your side making you squirm and laugh.

Shanna reappeared a few seconds later, asking where to next.

You’re having way too much fun but didn’t want to intrude and started to say goodbye when both Shanna and Chris protested.

“No, no, come with us, you don’t need to hang out alone, what’s the fun in that?” Chris was right by your side when you turned to leave. He cocked his head to the side, beckoning you back to him.

“Are you sure you don’t mind? I don’t want to impose or anything.”

“Believe me when I say I don’t do anything I don’t want to. Come on.” His little hand wave calling you to him was enough to give you butterflies in your belly as you took his hand, lacing your fingers together.

“Again I ask, where to?” Shanna pulled free the sweater she had tied around her waist and put it on and you realized that the early December night was indeed a bit chilly but you didn’t have a sweater and Mouse Gears was closed during the extended hours.

“Anyone up for Mission: Space?” Chris wasn’t looking at anyone when he asked but rummaging around the left pocket of his long shorts. With a little ‘aha’ he found what he was looking for and before straightening up now wearing a pair of prescription glasses.

Your uterus may or may not have imploded at the sight, but you’d never tell.

Clearing your throat, you shook your head.

“You guys go ahead, if I set foot inside one of those enclosed capsules after 11 drinks in three hours, I’ll make the girl in The Exorcist look like she just burped a little.”

Scott guffawed, doubling over, hands on his knees. “Oh, that was fun! Ok, girlie, you’re an okay person, I give whatever this is my blessing!” He moved your hand between you and Chris.

“For fuck’s sake Scott!” Chris groaned, his free hand slapping his forehead.

“Why thank you messier, merci beaucoup.” You took off an imaginary hat to him and he returned the gesture chuckling.

“Don’t go getting your tighty whities in a bunch brother,” Scott grabbed Shanna by the arm and brought her closer to him. “$50 bucks for your sweater, Shanna.”

“No Scott, next time you listen to Mom. I say no to Mission Space, yes to Nemo.” She said looking at Chris.

“Mine.” Scott pulled at her sweater.

“Are they always like this?” you stage whispered to Chris.

“Sometimes I say they’re distant cousins, but the fucker looks way too much like me for that to stick.” He laughed when following Scott and Shanna with his eyes, his brother was running after Shanna screaming ‘mine, mine, mine’ Shanna was doing a great job evading Scott till he faked left and grabbed her by the arm when she tried to go right. “Children!”

“You playing a hot dad next? Might need a few tips from Pratt for that.” The hand that smacked Scott upside the head was Shanna’s. “Watch the hair woman.”

“Just how much sugar have you guys had so far?” You could barely keep up with them, but they were fun to be around. Like oversized retriever puppies. Times a million or something.

“Not enough Miss Connections, but I’ll have the tea anyway.” Scott fell into step next to you as you walked by Fountain of Nations.

“You speak gay? Are you and my friend Corey cut from the same cloth my dear Scott?” you ask and he laughs next to you.

“Sparkly lumberjack? Hell yes. Now come on, gimme, I hate cold tea.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about and I don’t think I want to know.” Chris shook his head. What a sweet beautiful Labrador, you just wanted to eat him up with a spoon.

“He wants to know what’s my job with Disney.”

“Oh, in that case, I wanna know too. What gives?”

“I’m one of the four VPs for Media and Public Relations.” You proudly say. You had worked hard for that job, starting as rider operator way back then, putting yourself through college while working long hours under the hot Floridian sun.

“Oh, fancy. I thought you worked here, you seen to know everyone.” Scott commented.

“I worked here for 15 years. Ride operator, character handler, parade dancer…” she lowered her voice, “I was also friends with my namesake and Snow White for two years as well.”

“You’re friends with Belle? Oh, OH!” Chris’ eyes widened. “You’ve played the princesses.”

“Never, ever say that.” You looked around. “You say Marvel has snipers but so does Disney! All princess and characters are real; we just get to be friends with them. Know what I mean?”

“Sorry! I consider myself pretty versed in Disney speak but I never heard that one before.”

“Yeah, manly cast members know that one.” You agreed. “After I graduated I worked my way up to Media Relations here in Orlando and two years ago I finally got my dream job, and I’ve been in Los Angeles since then. I work with promotions, social media, and influencers. It’s a pretty sweet job.”

“Need an assistant?” Shanna asked as you entered the line for Nemo. “That sounds pretty rad!”

“Do you have any experience in PR?”

You separated into two groups when the cast member asked ‘how many’, Chris and Scott, you and Shanna. You entered your shell with the brunette still talking about a possible job and what she’d need to get it.

On the other shell, Chris looked confused.

“Did she just ditched me?” He asked his brother dumbfounded.

Scott laughed and shook his head.

“Oh, how the mighty have fallen.” He laughed again. “Welcome to the real world brother! Not everyone will fawn over you, as hard it is to believe it!”

“I thought we’re hitting it pretty well,” he got comfortable on the ride vehicle, taking off his hat so he could see the aquariums and screens where Dory, Marlin, and Nemo played, “did I read it all wrong?”

“Nah, she’s into you as well, as far as I could see.” Scott nodded. “She strikes me as a sisters before misters kinda woman, and she was talking to Shanna while we waited we queued.”

Chris uhmed in agreement.

He hoped you’re not putting up a front for him, because he liked you from the moment he bumped into you at Mouse Gears. He saw the moment you realized who he was but you had been pretty cool so far, and besides the sniper comment, you hadn’t made a big deal out of it. Definitely a breath of fresh air, it had been a while since he could be himself outside his immediate circle of friends. The fact you knew that joke told him you had seen some of his or his co-star interviews but as you worked handling the media and social media accounts for Disney he believed seeing footage of his movies was part of your job and that put his mind at ease and he decided to give that little spark between you a chance.

You were beautiful, full heart-shaped lips, long mahogany hair, aquamarine eyes, and a soft but toned body. He wanted to get to know you better, see if you felt the same connection he did.

The ride reached the end and he saw you getting out, still talking to Shanna.

“I mean it, send it to me, I’ll see what I can do.”

“The fact that I’d have to move to Los Angeles is a concern, but that kind of job would be fun. Thanks, Belle, I’ll think about it.”

“You’re most welcome. But don’t forget, I can only get your foot inside the door, you’d have to walk whenever you want to be by yourself.” You saw Chris and Scott approaching and a huge smile broke up on your face. “How about we go fly around the world?”

“Yes, finally! Soarin’ has been calling my name since we left Test Track!” Scott exclaimed.

He linked his arms with Shanna and dragged her along in front of you and Chris.

“He’s not very subtle, is he?” You questioned Chris when he stepped next to you.

Chris laughed and put his baseball cap back on backward. He looked ridiculously handsome, his longish hair escaping on the sides, his black ‘I am smiling’ Grumpy T-shirt stretched along his hard chest and biceps, black and white basketball shorts hugging that delectable ass he had. You licked your lips and gave him your brightest smile when he caught you staring.

“I guess neither is you.” He winked at you and grabbed your hand.

“Yeah, sue me, I refuse to play the virgin giggling girl when I see something I like.”

“Do you see me complaining?”

You shook your head as you play catch up to Shanna and Scott, who were already inside The Land pavilion.

“You never answered when I asked you if this was your last day,” Chris said while you rode the escalator to the lower floor.

“It isn’t; we’re staying for 10 days.” You saw Scott waving you over to the ride entrance. “Why’s that?”

Before Chris had a chance to answer Shanna bellowed.

“Come on slowpokes! We’re wasting time here.”

“Can we go on Living with The Land before Soarin’? I forgot it was open during EMH. I’ve never seen it at night.”

“Oh come on Scott, Living is so boring!” Shanna complained.

“Living with the Land is not boring,” Chris argued back, siding with Scott.

“It is so.”

“Not.”

“Children!” You waved a hand between them and they stopped. “How ‘bout this, we do Soarin’ once, get back to Living and quickly backtrack and do Soarin’ again?”

“Finally, someone with a plan.” Chris clapped. “But do we have time?”

You checked your watch.

“There are 45 minutes left before the park closes, I believe we can make it if we hurry.”

“Let’s do this then.

You hurried up the queue for Soarin’, once again cursing Disney Imaginners for making it so freaking long. There was a decent amount of people in front of you when you got to the split before the theaters. If things were the same there would be only one theater open for the extended hours and with about 150 people on the queue it would take about 10 minutes to get to the front of the line.

Scott lowered his voice.

“Now remember, it’s B1 or nothing alright? I don’t want to look up and see dangling feet in front of me.”

“Ah, a man after my own heart.” You agreed.

“Have you seen the new film? I liked it but I miss the old one.” Chris commented. “I was hoping they’d keep the Soarin’ Over California in Anaheim but they are all the same now.”

“I really like the soaring around the world aspect, but I miss the orange smell. Childhood memories and all that.” You walked over to the line for the first row of the second string of seats, dead center inside the theater. Those were indeed the best seats in the house and you’re surprised Scott knew about them.

“This is not our first rodeo, Miss Connections! We’ve been coming to Disney twice a year for the past thirty plus years, sometimes more if Chris can swing it.” Scott explained. “You’ve probably even seen us before, or operated a ride while we were on it.”

“You’re probably right!” Shanna gasped. “Oh my god, you might even be in our pictures, Belle.”

“No way, I would remember taking pictures with this hot beefcake by my side.” You pointed to Chris making it seem he was showing him off with your hands.

“But would you really?” Chris said in a lower voice. “I barely remember the face of the girl who asked me for a picture this morning at the airport. How many pictures you would take in one day?”

You looked shocked, they did have a point. Could you really be in a picture with Chris and his family?

“There were always two friends taking turns during the set but it was a freaking lot. Akershus alone might make that number reach a thousand during the holidays.”

“I’m pulling all the photo albums from the library when we get back home, I’m really curious right now!”

Shanna looked excited at the prospect of finding you in their family photos, and you tried to jog your memories of thousands of families you met over the years. Chris was right, there was no way you could have remembered them, especially if it was before his Captain America days.

You talked through the whole pre-boarding video and were now being directed to your seats. B1 was a popular choice so Scott played buffer and sat between Chris and the other guest, you sat beside Chris with Shanna by your side. He waited till the cast member checking the seatbelt got to him before removing his hat and sticking it on the bin below his seat.

The ride started and the music swirled around you as the seats were lifted from the ground, making it appear as you were indeed soaring around big blue skies, mountains, and lakes around the world. You smiled as the powerful aroma of roses reached your nose while flying over the Taj-Mahal, giggling when the sea breeze smell reached your nose when you glided over Fiji and squealing when the turned upwards to reach the top of the Eiffel Tower. Soarin’ was probably your favorite ride in all parks and the smile on your face when the ride ended with fireworks over Epcot was a testament to that.

You unbuckled your seatbelt and were one of the first out of the theater, walking so fast a cast member reminded you no running was allowed. Chris sent a sorry his way but your group didn’t slow down, cruising the corridors to get to Living with The Land.

Shanna checked his watch when you got there and cheered when there was only a family of three in line for the boat.

“Ok, guys 27 minutes left. How long is this ride anyway? I want to ride Soarin’ again!”

They all turned to you waiting for an answer.

“20 minutes.” You said and Shanna groaned. “We’re gonna cut close, but as long as we’re inside the queue for Soarin’ before 11 pm they will let us in. We might not get B1 again though.”

“It’s ok, we’re coming back to Epcot to hit more of the food booths anyway, I can live without the best seats for once.” Scott nodded.

You let the family in front of you get on the boat that was docked and waited for the next one. Thankfully there was no one else behind you so you got the next boat all to yourselves.

Scott seated with Shanna, who immediately opened her phone, earning a glare from Scott.

You sat with Chris two rows behind them, Chris entering first and offering you his hand to help you inside the boat.

“Why thank you, Prince Charming.” You accepted his hand, noticing he didn’t let go when you sat beside him. Which suited you just as well because you had your own plans for him.

“I thought I was Prince Adam to your Belle?” He got closer as the boat started its journey through different types of nature scenes, putting his arm around your shoulder as you entered the rain forest and the boat waved a bit.

Oh, he was a smooth one. You grinned at him and scooted a little closer your sides now pressed together.

“You know Adam is not an official name right?”

“That’s not possible, his name’s Adam.” He doubted you.

“Nope, he’s never named during the animation. The actor who voices him is just credited as ‘Beast’.”

You loved Disney Trivia and could quote the most obscure facts and anecdotes about the parks, movies, and Walt’s life.

“Well, my childhood has been ruined. Thank you for that.”

He tickled your sides in retaliation, making you squirm and giggle. When you tried to tickle him back he grabbed your hands and pinned them down between the two of you.

Your laugh subsided when you noticed Chris looking at your lips and you subconsciously licked them because they suddenly felt dry as sandpaper. He looked at your eyes and back to your mouth in a silent question, blue eyes searching your face for what could happen next.

You nod almost imperceptibly and Chris smiles, leaning towards you, full lips slighted parted.

“How much trouble would I be if plucked a miracle fruit from the tree over th… oh my bad!”

Chris curses his brother and you blink away the nervousness that surrounded you.

“Do not try to pick up a berry, that’s cause for revoking your annual pass and you’ll be escorted out of the park.” You speak as you try to control your beating heart.

“No way!”

“I’ve been the one waiting for the poor soul at the end of the ride Scott. Not a very fun part of the job and also so many forms to fill out.”

Maybe it was better this way. You knew you were attracted to each other but all rides were full of cameras, it’d only take one less than honest cast member to sell the footage to TMZ anyway.

Chris didn’t try to kiss you again but kept on holding your hand as the boat glided over the murky water, passing through the suspended hydroponics plants, the self-sustained display with fish and plants and finally reaching the end of the ride.

The boat wasn’t even properly docked and Shanna was already on the move, making a tight turn on the tunnel leading to Soarin’.

You had two minutes to get there before they closed the queue so you hurried over, Chris pulling you along, your legs barely keeping up with his stride.

You entered the line with seconds to spare and as soon as you did the cast member pulled a rope behind you, indicating the end of operation hours.

The four of you laughed while making your way up to concourse C, the only theater that was open.

“I don’t think I’ve run so much at Disney before.” Scott breathlessly said.

“That’s because you have an escort who gets you backstage and takes you to the front of the line! Us mere mortals are the ones queueing for six hours for Flight of Passage.”

“As if you ever waited that long.” Shanna quipped from the front of the line.

“Uhm… who’s to say I didn’t?” You winked at her. Chris looked at you quizzically. “Okay, so maybe I haven’t, but I’ve done the running thing before, I do wonder to the dark side and Escape from Gringotts is almost as bad as Flight of Passage. People run like crazy mofos to get there.”

“You cheat on the Mouse?” Scott put a hand over his heart.

“Say it louder to the people in the back.” You hit him in the shoulder. You turn to one of the corners of the queue, playing as if there was a camera there. You move your hand as if bowing, “It’s all lies oh Big Cheese who reigns supreme and all hear and all see, I’d never cheat on you!”

Chris guffawed, both hands grabbing his chest.

“You’re crazy!” He laughed.

“Shhhhh, you never know who’s listening!” You winked at him.

As it turned out there were only four other people waiting for the last flight of the night and as you approached the end of the line you were directed to B1 anyway, as each row of seats sat 10 people each.

You decided to let all brothers be together and sat on the outside this time, Chris by your side.

He turned to say something to you at the same time you leaned over to let him know there was a hidden Mickey on the flight over Monument Valley and his lips grazed yours. You both paused, surprised at the sudden touch. Then he was kissing you for real, full lips pressed over yours, sending sparks all over your body. He brought his right hand to your neck, holding you close as he deepened the kiss, your lips danced together.

As fast as first kisses went, you ranked this one a solid 13 in a one to five scales. He never pressured you to open your mouth or tried to slip you the tongue, his lips were plump and he moved them with purpose, alternating hard pressed and feathered touches. You opened your eyes when he moved away and he gave you a little nod which you returned, grinning at each other.

The ride was over before you knew it and the cast member was ushering you out, saying good night.

Your little group made your way over World Showcase again, you saying goodnight to all cast members you passed by, thanking them for staying back during Extra Magic Hours.

“You sound sincere too,” Shanna commented as you walked the dark path leading you to Canada.

“That’s because I am. Most of them will have a shift no later than 10 am tomorrow and they won’t leave here for another two hours. Sometimes more. Saying thank you is the least I can do.”

“And could you do more?” Chris inquired.

“I can actually. All visiting cast members fill a form when we get back to work, citing areas we think the parks can improve, what was good, bad and exceptional.”

“That’s cool, I wish we could do something like that,” Chris commented.

“Actually you can. In 2014 we introduced Cast Compliments.” The three of them looked at you, never reading about it before. “Say you wanna say something nice about a particular cast member; you get their name, go on Twitter and tag either @DisneylandToday or @WDWToday using the hashtag CastCompliment. Write their name, location, and your motive. We will print your twit, and take a picture of the cast member with it. They also get a mark on their file. Every 5 marks they receive a monetary bonus.”

“Wow, that’s crazy cool. And you came up with this idea?” Shanna was already on her phone looking up the hashtag. She gave the phone to Chris and he scrolled through the feed, smiling at the amount of love being shared.

“My team and I did, together with HR” you nodded.

“That’s amazing and so thoughtful Belle!” Scott was the one looking at the phone now.

“They are the ones keeping the park running after all.” You smiled.

You reached International Gateway, waving to the guards and everyone said goodnight this time.

The temperature had dropped quite a bit and you shivered, Chris immediately pulling you close and running his hands over your arms. You smiled at him in thanks and asked where they are staying.

“We’re at the Grand, it’s our favorite resort,” Chris answered. “How about you?”

“I’m a DVC member, I’m right over there at the Boardwalk Villas.” You pointed to the red building on the other side of the man-made lake.

“Mind we walked you over to the lobby? That way I know we got back home safely and we can call a Minnie Van?” Chris smiled at you.

“Absolutely!”

You crossed the bridge to Boardwalk Inn in silence, just appreciating each other companies. When you reached the well-manicured lawn of back gardens he stopped you, mentioning for his siblings to go ahead.

He brought you under the canopy of a huge tree, giving you a little privacy from the passersby.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” He inquired, his back leaning on the tree trunk.

“My friend and I have brunch reservations at Boma, so we’ll be at Animal Kingdom till around 11 am. Our fast passes are for Hollywood Studios but they don’t start till 3 pm.”

“Damn, we’re staying at the Magic Kingdom all day, the kids really want to see the parade.”

“I’m sure you’ll have a lovely time with your family.” You nodded. It was a shame you would be at different parks but you had fast passes for Slinky Dog Dash and that was one ride, not even you could swing your non-existent badge at the cast member and get in on a whim so you weren’t changing your own plans.

“I will, but I also wanna see you again.” He whined and you giggled, he was the perfect mix of gorgeous man and little boy and the butterflies in your belly certainly agreed. “MK closes at six for the Christmas Party though, and we’re not going till Tuesday. Mind if I join you after we leave?”

“I’d love to see you again too, so I don’t mind it at all. Word of warning though, Corey will freak out, even with me telling him you’ll be joining us, so come prepared.”

“How bad are we talking about?” Chris sighed. You had been so cool-headed about everything, almost no one recognized him today and now your friend was almost guaranteed to make a scene.

“I’ll try to prep him over carbs while we have brunch, but he’ll stare and be mute for a while.” You told Chris the truth. Corey had a major crush on both Chris and Sebastian Stan and was a diehard Stucky shipper. That would be an interesting conversation to have.

“As long as he doesn’t draw attention, I can deal with some staring.” Chris acquiesced. He wanted to spend more time with you, see if there was anything else besides physical attraction drawing him in.

He pulled out his phone and asked for your number before sending you a text so you could have his.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then.” You looked over at him with a little smile. You started walking backward still holding his hand.

“Not so fast!”

Chris pulled you back so fast you fell on his chest with a little oomph. He tilted your head up with two fingers and his lips descended on yours, kissing you long and hard. You gripped the sides of his T-shirt, hands digging on his waist as he held your head closer to him, one hand bunching up your hair, the other touching your neck and cheek in slow circles. You felt his soft beard brushing your skin, heightening your pleasure. A warm feeling spread all over you and you melted into Chris, parting your lips slightly. When his tongue skimmed yours you kissed him harder, tongues touching languidly.

You had been kissed quite well in the past but Chris was definitely the best one so far, he maintained full body contact and he kissed you like he had nothing else to do for the rest of his life. He pulled your lower lip as he broke the kiss, his thumb caressing the bite while he alternated between nips and kisses over your chin and neck.

Your hands got under his T-shirt and ran over the hard v on his waist, circling it to press your thumbs on the dimples on the small of his back. Your fingers touched his back vehemently, nails dragging a line just under the band of his shorts. He rocked against you and you felt him pressed against your belly, your hands itching to get closer.

“God, you’re beautiful.” He whispered against your skin. “I want to take you back to my room and kiss you all over and see if the rest of you are as soft as your lips.”

You shivered again and you weren’t sure if it was the draft wind or your reaction to his words, but you’d put good money on the latter. You felt your hardened nipples and the damp spot in your underwear and a quick look down was enough to see the hard on the basketball shorts could barely conceal. You definitely clicked on a physical level, never a kiss had such an impact on you before.

Your brain took over as you remembered you’re in a public space and you took a little step back, just enough so you could think straight.

“Maybe this is enough for one night.” You exhaled hard, trying to clear your head.

Chris nodded, he never lost control so quickly with anyone before, you barely touched his skin and he was almost rutting you to the ground right by Disney’s Boardwalk.

“Right, you’re right.” He kissed your forehead before pushing himself off the tree trunk and adjusting himself as best as he could. “Want me to walk you to your room?”

“I’m good, let’s not tempt faith, shall we?”

You had rented a two-bedroom suite so you and Corey could have more privacy, so it wouldn’t be hard to sneak Chris back to your room, lock the door and spend the rest of the night learning each other’s body.

He nodded and rested his head over your shoulder. You stayed like that till his phone vibrated on his pocket.

“That was Scott, Minnie van is here.” Chris looked over from his phone. “Thank you for today, for hanging out with me, I really liked it. I really liked you, Belle.”

“I really liked you too Chris.” You pressed a chaste kiss on his lips, hugging him for good measure.

“I’ll text you and we can work out the details for tomorrow ok?” He said while hugging you back.

“Alright.”

Neither of you moved and his phone ringed.

Chris rolled his eyes when he answered.

“I’m on my way meathead, give me one second. No, he won’t leave, you know they can wait for a while. Alright, I’m going, Jesus, hold your damn horses.”

You giggled and let go of him, telling him to go.

“Bye princess Belle.”

With a quick peck on your lips, he was off, taking the stairs to the main floor two at a time.

You stayed at the same spot till he disappeared upstairs before making your way to the Villas side of the Boardwalk, quickening up your pace to get away from the cold air.

Entering your room, you sighed against the door as you closed it.

This had been indeed the most special Extra Magic Hour you ever spent at EPCOT and you couldn’t wait to see what tomorrow would bring.

#Chris Evans Fanfic #Chris Evans Fan Fic #Chris Evans Fanfiction #Chris Evans x OFC #Chris Evans #Chris Evans x Reader #Chris Evans x You #HAMDFic

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fandomwriter39-blog · 7 years

Text

College - Dan Howell

"Hey Emma! You won't believe who I just saw at the libr- oh shit! Oh... eh... okay? I'll just leave now, yeah..." Aubrey slowly closed her dorm's room and stepped back. She stood where she was for a full minute, a frown plastered on her features. "What the hell did I just saw there?!" She thought out loud as an image of her roommate with her boyfriend crossed her mind. She shook her head furiously, trying to get both of their naked figures off her brain. Soon, another thought took over the previous: where was she going to stay? She had been studying in the library until late, it was around 11:30 now, which meant Emma's boyfriend wasn't going to leave her room any time soon. And who was he anyway? Tony? Harry? Chris? She'd had so many boyfriends in the span of 2 months that she couldn't remember which was which. She somehow pictured seeing a law book in their room's table yesterday, so she assumed that's was he was studying. "Did he ever mention who was his roommate?" She pondered as she walked through the endless halls. Maybe she could stay the night with them, since she didn't quite know anyone but Emma, and didn't feel like sleeping in the restroom or baths. As she walked she tried to remember said boyfriend's name, which came to her quite quicker than she had expected. "Matt!" She exclaimed, then covered her mouth with both hands as she realised most people were already asleep.

She crossed what seemed like hundreds of corridors, looking at the small whiteboards on each door to try and find any with the name Matt on it. Right before she was about to give up she saw one. 'Matt & Dan', those were the names, and she hadn't seen any other Matt until now, so she hoped it would be that one. Reluctantly, she knocked at the door. Some ruffling sounds were heard on the other side, and then the door opened. "Hi. Uh, you're Dan, right?" "Yes..." The boy answered confused. "I'm Aubrey. Emma's roommate, she's dating Matt." "Right. And you're here 'cause?" "Well... Let's just say Matt and Emma were having quite some fun in our dorm. And now I kind of have nowhere to stay." Dan looked back at her puzzled. Of course, this scenario was the last he could be expecting on a Wednesday at 12 am. "I was just wondering if I could maybe stay here for the night?" Aubrey concluded, hoping that Dan wouldn't just kick her out. "Sure, yeah. You can stay." "Really?! Oh my god, I owe you one." Dan stepped aside to let her in, and signaled her in which bed she could sleep. "By the way, sorry for appearing all of a sudden. I hope I didn't wake you up or anything." "Nah it's okay. I was just doing some stuff on my computer."

The first awkward moments soon ended, and in a matter of minutes they were both laughing nonstop. "But seriously, did you actually see them right in the middle of it?" "Yes! Don't mention it, I think I've been traumatised for life." "Ewww I'm just imagining it." Dan scrunched up his nose as he said this. "You should've taken some pics, we could blackmail them with those later." "I wish I had. I just ran away as fast as I could. I'm sure they didn't even notice I opened the door in the first place." "Oh I'm so gonna annoy him with it now." "You have to!" Aubrey encouraged, at this point exaggerating her movements to make it look more dramatic. "He's taken my dorm without permission, I'll need some kind of revenge." "I'll help you out with that."

She hadn't payed much attention to the room until that moment, and she scanned quickly what was there. The typical, she thought. A large, messy desk full of open books and notes, and the walls covered with posters. There was something odd though, a videocamera. "By the way, what's that for? Aren't you studying law?" "I am, but I also make videos in youtube. For fun." "Oh you're a youtuber!" She exclaimed in realisation. "I gotta say I wasn't expecting that." During that time YouTube was still quite a brand new site, and only now the term youtubers had began to spread widely and gain popularity. "Now that I know it I gotta check out your videos." "I'm sure you'll like them." Dan said grinning widely.

*time skip*

As Aubrey opened her eyes she was startled at the new surroundings. It wasn't until later on that she remembered the past night's events. "You finally woke up." Dan said, already dressed and packing the books he needed for that day. "I don't think I even heard your alarm." "Yeah, that's what happens when you stay awake past 3 am." She looked down, realising she was still wearing the same clothes as yesterday, and seeing their state after having slept with them, she could imagine what a mess her hair would be. "Gotta go back now and get changed. Let's pray Matt has already left by now." "Yeah. Well, I'll see you around." "Yup, see ya!" With that Aubrey left the dorm and made her way to her's. She was a lot more lucky this time when she opened the door, as she was met with Emma apliying some makeup on. "Had fun?" Aubrey casually asked. "Why you mention it?" "I happen to have witnessed, sadly for me, some of last night's events." Emma's face grew pale after Aubrey's words."Oh my- How did you even-" "It's my room after all! I had to come back to sleep at some point, did you even consider that?" "Not... really... no..." Emma sighed defeated. "Where did you sleep?" "In Matt's room." Again, another comment that left Emma even more confused."Wha-" "He takes my room I take his! Plus, there's no one I know, so that was my best shot." "And his roommate, eh..." "Dan." "Right, Dan. How is he?" "He's a really nice guy." Aubrey said, smiling from ear to ear as she thought of him. "Guess the whole situation wasn't so bad after all, I got a new friend now."

~ ~ ~

They were reaching the end of their first year in college. Dan and Aubrey's bond had only grown stronger ever since that day. They'd had some of the best times together. But lately Aubrey had been getting the feeling that Dan wasn't exactly ok. He was a lot more quiet, thoughtful, as if there was something of great importance that was bothering him. At first she had let him be, thinking he wouldn't want to be asked about it. But in the end she couldn't contain it. She needed to know what was going on, she had to help him in someway.

Dan remained quiet at first when she asked. "C'mon Dan, you know you can trust me. Please, I'm really worried." She insisted. Of course, the last thing Dan wanted was to make her sad, and seeing her like this made him say it all in a rush, words tangling among each other. "I can't take it anymore." He started. "It's all too much. All the exams, all the pressure... All the effort and time wasted in something I don't really care about." Aubrey was confused at this. "That you don't care about? About what, your career?" "Yes. I didn't really want to study this, you know. It was a career many were choosing and my parents constantly insisted that it'd be a good choice for my future. But I can't get the hang of it. My interest have always revolved around scenic arts, videogames... Not law." "Are you planning to drop out then?" "Well, yeah, I hope so. I can't take being like this for much longer. I'll finish this year and then leave." His expression transformed into one of concern and expectancy, as he looked at Aubrey hoping that she would, in a way, approve of his idea. "If it's making you unhappy then you can't continue. It'd be stupid to do so. Though I'll have to say, I'll be missing you, so don't you dare regret it." "I'm sure I won't." "But, what will you do? I mean, after hearing your parents where so eager for you to study this they might not be too happy to see you back, have you thought of where you'll stay? Or where will you work?" "About that..." Dan took a moment to continue, replaying in his head all of the ideas he'd had over the last month. "I've already planned it all. You know the YouTube thing I'm doing?" Aubrey nodded as an answer, already perceiving where this was leading. "You see, lately the idea of earning a living with it has becomed more popular. Seems like it can actually work out. And that's what I like. Making videos, sketches of my very own, editing them and all that sort of things, that's what I really enjoy." "Who would've thought that'd be a thing... But yeah, I've read some things about it, and from what I've seen you're really talented. I'm sure you'll be among the lucky ones." Aubrey said encouragingly. "Let's pray for that. But I'll be living with an already lucky one, so that'll be some good help." "You're gonna live with a former youtuber?!" Aubrey's eyes opened wide, both surprised and excited about all this news. "Yup." Dan said smiling sheepishly. "AmazingPhil, one of the dinosaurs of YouTube, as he's called. He's just the nicest dude I've ever met, and he's helped me out so much. He lives here in Manchester and has an apartment of his own. I already asked him and he's eager for me to arrive already." "That's great news! He sounds like a great guy, you'll have to introduce us some time." Her smiled turned to slightly melancholic one as she thought of Dan having to leave so soon already. "I'm really gonna miss you." "Me too Aubrey. I'll miss you too."

~ ~ ~

It had been four years already. A 23 year old Aubrey closed the door of her new apartment, trotted down the flight of stairs and then began her daily afternoon walk, happily pacing down the busy streets of London. She began the half an hour journey that would take her to her favorite café. In exactly 30 minutes a beautiful pastel blue wall, contrasting with the rest of the dull façades, came into view. The tiny doorbell chimed with it's cheerful melody as Aubrey entered, smiling widely as the warm smell of coffee surrounded her. She greeted the waiter and went to her usual place, a fluffy cushion in one of the corners of the establishment, besides the window. In a matter of minutes she had her drink beside her. She didn't even need to order it, having that for the past 2 months it had been her only drink of choice, and she hadn't missed a single afternoon ever since she arrived to the city and discovered this small, cozy place. She took a sip of her hot beverage and pulled out from her bag a book she had been reading, or shall we say devouring, for the past days.The envolving atmosphere could have her lost in her own world for hours, losing any notion of time. Not that she minded, those peaceful moments made her the happiest. But today the routine was about to be broken. The doorbell tinkled again. Usually, she wouldn't care to look, but this time she forwarded her sight to the new costumer. She could only see his back now as he headed to the counter: awkwardly tall body, completely black clothes and shortish chocolate hair which had been straightened, but because of the light rain outside it was now curly on the tips. There was something familiar in the male who she was staring intensively. With his order in hand he turned, searching for a free seat. And that was when she finally realised it. It was Dan! After so many years, destiny had somehow given her a perfect chance to see each other again. She couldn't contain her happiness as she rushed towards Dan, tackling him and nearly making him and his drink fall down. Dan's shock was easily noticeable as he had not seen her yet, but right as Aubrey pulled back, what had been a sudden hug from an extranger wasn't from and extranger anymore. "Dan! Oh my god, I haven't seen you in ages! I had no idea you were in London!" "Neither did I!" "Oh, we so need to catch up." Aubrey said as she dragged him across the shop back to her seat, pulling close to her another chair for Dan and preparing for all the stories they'd have to hear from one another. It felt weird in a way, but seeing him now after so long made her aware of how much she had really missed him. And just by looking at him she could see that feeling was reciprocal. There was no doubt that from that day on it'd be practically impossible to have them apart again.

#danisnotonfire #dan howell #amazingphil #phil lester #dan howel imagine #dan howell one shot #2009 dan #phan #phandom #dan howell fanfiction #dan howell fanfic

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kariachi · 8 years

Text

@mellenabrave

Fic for that idea I tossed out

Argi is fourteen when he overhears his mother telling to woman next door that the only one of the triplets who isn’t in prison isn’t going to college. That none of her children are, they aren’t smart enough.

He’s always gotten good grades, and with so little food spread between his siblings spite is about all that fuels him, so it surprises no one when he swears to prove her wrong.

At sixteen his entire year goes to what’s essentially a college fair, where school upon school has set up booths for the sake of young high school students. Argi makes sure to get information from all of them to browse later. He also looks into every scholarship he could possibly qualify for.

He spends four months putting every spare minute into research and applications. His mother scoffs, the young twins watch with interest- he makes sure to encourage them, as much for spite and love- and the rest of his siblings roll their eyes. Nobody thinks it’ll work, but they’ll allow themselves to be amused by his failure. He doesn’t let it get to him. He’s going places, whether they want him to or not.

Dear Argiñe,

Congratulations on your acceptance into the College of Arts & Sciences at Cornell University!

He makes sure to go to the Library and make ten copies, one for each of his family members, before he rubs his success in their faces.

“And how do you plan on paying for Ivy League, Princess,” Maria asks, and Argi just grins nastily at her.

“I’m selling you all to the mafia.”

He doesn’t sell them all to the mafia, and really his scholarship money and financial aid will cover the costs, but he does hock all his mother’s jewelry to pay the admissions fee.

What’s she going to do, report her stolen goods stolen?

The first person Argi meets turns out to be his roommate. Kevin Levin, a boy a year younger than him who also doesn’t know what he’s going to major in and feels his family can go fuck themselves.

“Honestly,” he says as he mucks about with their beds that first afternoon, somehow procuring wood posts and turning them each into top bunks so they have more floor space, “I only decided to go to college out of spite.”

Within four days he is not only Argi’s first friend, but his first love.

Intro to LGBT Studies also introduces him to a redhead, who sits right beside him in the front row. By the end of class she’s started bookmarking her textbook in relation to the syllabus and Argi has borrowed and chewed half apart one of her pencils.

They are immediate nemeses.

Her name is Gwendolyn and three days later she makes a move on Kevin while they’re all eating lunch. Argi knocks her upside the head with a folder.

Kai, from Kevin’s Intro to Native American Lit course, just about doubles over laughing.

Kevin swears they’re all the worst friends he’s ever had.

The food in the cafeteria is good, but some days they can’t help but yearn for something more. Traditional dishes. Homecooked meals. Argi and the girls often curse the “one appliance per dorm” rule.

Thankfully Kevin works miracles with a rice cooker.

“What do you mean you don’t have to take language classes?!”

“Red, I’m from Spain. They’re not gonna force me to learn another language. Now just show me where you’re getting mixed up. Refuse to let you guys suck at this.”

Gwendolyn went home for Thanksgiving, but the boys and Kai agree to skip the holiday altogether. Instead, Kevin takes over the common room and commandeers everyone’s appliances to fix up a Black Friday feast to shake souls.

“Fuck ‘em all, may they be trampled in their quest for a second rate plasma screen.”

“I’m gonna call that a call to immortality.”

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

They skype over winter break, while the girls visit home and the boys apartment-sit for a graduate student. It’s relaxing, for the most part. Argi is forced to study by the fact that Gwendolyn is still studying, and they’re all dying of envy at all the places Kai’s grandfather is taking her, but for the most part it’s songs over the holidays (Argi teaches them Venid Pastorcitos and Kai is still humming it come February) and everybody sending each other food.

Exactly the sort’ve tradition Argi can sink his teeth into.

GwennyWeatherwax: I found this site, apparently if you send in a dna sample they’ll figure out where your ancestors were from for you

keV: yeah and then they use it to make their evil half-dinosaur clone army, i’ve seen *this* movie before

GwennyWeatherwax: Geez, you try to help your friends…

Wifwolf: We already know what Kev is, G. Half-Oneida, half purely driven snow

keV: think the only thing me and dad have in common is hoping mom got a serious hangover from that bender…

Wifwolf: Im just amazed she thawed out in time to have you

keV: oh she didn’t

GwennyWeatherwax: Okay, okay, enough about Kev’s mom’s pussy please!

Erizo: if i hear one more joke about kevs moms pussy-

Erizo: would be nice to be something other than ‘brown’ tho

keV: how much?

GwennyWeatherwax: $100

GwennyWeatherwax: Each

Erizo: on the other hand brown is an awesome color

keV: yep

Wifwolf: We’ll put it on the ‘once we have cash to blow’ pile

They all sign up for physical education courses in their second semester, just to get them over with. Everyone is surprised when Gwendolyn ‘Beanpole’ Tennyson signs up for one of the martial arts courses and is immediately put into an advanced class. Kevin goes for what is apparently military bootcamp in an academic setting, because he isn’t already 6’2 and 200 lbs. of pure muscle.

Argi and Kai take Trap & Skeet together. At least this way if the others start shit they’ll have weapon proficiency on their side.

“Kevin, we are not taking cooking classes.”

“I cannot be the only person here who cooks!”

“Yes, yes you can. Forever.”

“Seriously, get a room or get boyfriends, because if you keep fighting like this people are going to get ideas.”

…

“Ewww!!”

“Kai no!!”

Finals week is hell, no matter what, but they all pass their courses. They all survive their courses, and each other, despite the odds against them. Yes, Argi and Gwendolyn aren’t allowed back in the Library until they’re 80, but overall their first year has been a success.

They’re all sitting in a booth at a pizza place in town, one Kevin has been raving about since the start of the year and none of them have had the chance to go to, celebrating their collective victory, when Argi motions them all together for a selfie. Everyone seems to understand what’s happening, crowding around him, arms over his shoulders. Kevin even pulls him into his lap, smirking as Argi goes red and the photo is taken. They all grin at him as he gives the image a once over before saving it.

He makes sure his baby sisters still have him friended before he puts it out on Facebook.

“Twenty bucks says I’m not the last Bustillo to go to school.”

“None of us are stupid enough to take that.”

“Damn.”

#fanfic

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kf14wxbw-blog · 5 years

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mistslash25-blog · 5 years

Text

People (a term used loosely) Who Are Professional Spammers like Gary The Listicle Offerer Miss the Stop Sign in His Face

Oh Gary. Sending out blog comment spam must be wearying if a professional like you manages to miss a rather clear statement that appears in the footer of every page on this blog.

Here, as promised, is your treatment.

This infestation began 2 weeks ago.

Date: Wed, Aug 15, 9:30 AM From: Gary <email [email protected]> Subject: Coming in cold, hoping to help :)

Hey Alan, Thanks for opening up this email. I’m Gary Stevens and I’m a front end developer of 6+ years.

Hey Gary. I have no idea who the f*** you are. But those 6+ years are highly impressive.

Not.

Emailing you today to see if you’d entertain the possibility of a high quality guest post or ideally… if I may be so bold…..having me on as a regular contributor. [emoji redacted]

I might ask Gary, as such a serious front end developer, if you looked at the little notice on the footer of every page of my blog? Or maybe you put those 6+ years of skill ar work to notice that there is not one single guest post writer on my blog?

Here are five listicle style ideas I think would work well, they are a mix of both technical guides and general biz dev.

When some dude wants to offer my his listicles, well that’s a rather perverted sounding offer. Maybe, Gary, you can tell me how many such things appear in this blog? Or maybe you missed the mocking thereof of the list-word?

Oh well, here comes his dangled offers…

4 Tips to Better Website Security for SMEs – After the recent Equifax hack the importance of cyber security has be reaffirmed. This post would cover some easy DIY fixes for SMEs web security.

8 Steps to Decreasing Website Loading Time By 50% – CSS, JS minify, image optimization and CDNs. I’ll explain some easy to understand terms/methods and what they mean.

4 Beginner Tools for Conversion Rate Optimization – CRO can massively increase the ROI of any earning website and while it used to be fairly technical it’s become easier with the tools available, this post will explain those tools.

8 Costs That Startup Owners Should Never Skimp On – Common areas which are often neglected which led to decreased growth, user experience and efficiency.

5 Ways to Save Time and Your Sanity with SOPs – Scaling a business is hard without standard operation procedures that allow tasks to be assigned and tracked easily.

These are all topic that I have never written about here. That does not mean you have done a successful gap analysis. It just means your ideas are below persistent diarrhea on the turd scale.

But nothing stops Gary. Not even common sense.

All of these topics can be expanded on or modified to fit your audience. It would be well written, edited, formatted, interlinked to existing content and I can find images as well.

Wow, images. I ‘ve never used images in my posts before. You are a GENIUS, Gary. Genius. And links too!!! I never ever thought of linking to content. Nope, not in 25 years of writing web content. I cannot even locate the proper emoji to represent my excitement.

https://www.sitepoint.com/spam-link-redacted https://www.tripwire.com/state-of-security/spam-link-redacted https://socialnomics.net/spam-link-redacted http://blog.creative-tim.com/spam-link-redacted https://www.skillsyouneed.com/spam-link-redacted https://www.themely.com/spam-link-redacted

I will definitely pass on clicking your links.

Hope to hear back from you soon, [another f***ing emoji redacted, I loathe emojis]

Gary

Maybe Gary saw my tweet?

Gary cold emailed me an offer to be a regular contributor of listicles on my blog (sounds perverted); among his years of technical expertise the poor guy seemed to miss reading a complete lack of guest authors there, plus a clear statement I would mock such offers. pic.twitter.com/kue5AFr5Lg

— Alan Levine ? (@cogdog) August 17, 2018

Nope, because he did not stop spamming.

Date: Mon, Aug 20, 8:22 AM From: Gary <email [email protected]> Subject: Gary here again…

Hey Alan, It’s Gary. You may remember me from my awesome guest post inquiry last week where I pitched you 3 great topics.

Hey Gary, you may have noticed I ignored you. Most sentient organisms beyond parasitic slugs would take that as a sign of no interest. But an experience ass end developer spammer like you will not let go, eh? Tenacity here is no virtue.

The good news is that offer is still on the table. [3 lame ass emojis redacted]

Define “good”, Gary. What is good for you? Like a daily enema? Leeches for breakfast?

No bad news either, just wanted to see if you’re still interested and if so… I can get started on one of them this week.

I’m also up for writing on other topics as per your suggestion

Thanks!

Gary

Take this Gary as a message. Me trashing your email without replying is a clear interest. About the only thing worse than cold emailing offers to someone who has no business relation to you is (a clear violation of the CAN-SPAM act) is the follow-up “Did you get my message?”.

For you Gary, more mocking on twitter.

Gary waited a whole days to email me again with his "offer" still on the table to lay his listicles on my blog.

Ewww.

Garys of the internet– stop crapping all over it and stop bothering people who actually spend their time making things. pic.twitter.com/A8jzayxEil

— Alan Levine ? (@cogdog) August 20, 2018

Do you get me message?

Nope.

Today, the third volume in this fantasy series.

Date: Mon, Sep 3, 8:31 AM From: Gary <email [email protected]> Subject: They say persistence is key

Hey Alan,

I’ve sent you 2 emails previously about contributing to your site.

Hey Gary, I have ignored both. Shouldn’t that be an indicator of my lack of interest.

Just wanted to follow up one last time.

I did not want that.

I know you’re probably busy and get a lot of emails, but I thought I would follow up to show I’m serious about writing you a great guest post. [emoji redacted again]

You’ve only shown my that you are serious about being a rotten piece of cockroach crap on the internet.

Let me know if you change your mind.

Read between the lines.

Thanks again for your time :)

Gary

Gary, you are so unwelcome. So you get the treatment. Shall I send you the link?

I really have no idea how this persistent wave of email spams offering to write crap on my blog I did not seek even works. What is the angle? Why would Gary (and fellow cretins) spend so much effort doing this? Why not, Gary, actually do something that contributes to society, rather than shitting all over us.

And like the sign in the image, that says “Stop” most people in the world know what to do. Low life excuses for a human like Gary read that as “Proceed Anyway”/

Enjoy your treatment, Garys of the internet. I will spray cockroaches every day if I have to.

Featured Image: The best part of doing a google image search for open licensed images with key words hidden sign is finding the first result is a flickr one from a guy in Australia named Michael Coghlan. That’s because Michael is a friend who I have hang out with down under. Keep the internet serendipitous.

Hidden Stop Sign flickr photo by mikecogh shared under a Creative Commons (BY-SA) license

If this kind of stuff has any value, please support me monthly on Patreon or a one time PayPal kibble toss

Source: http://cogdogblog.com/2018/09/miss-the-stop-sign/

0 notes

szopenhauer · 4 years

Text

if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to? everything I ever read, watch or listen to and that would still not be enough for sure to even partially understand me

are you a musician? nah

if you’d grown up in a different environment, do you think you’d have turned out the same? no, at least not exactly

would you say your tumblr is a fair representation of the “real you”? only part of me because I save most of the stuff on pendrive and I don’t post some stuff in here even tho it looks like I share everything

which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle? I’m a muggle but I guess I’m closest to Ravenclaw

do you love easily? nope

how often would you want to see your family every year? dad often?

have you ever felt like you had a “mind-meld” with someone? my gf and my father

could you live as a hermit? maybe

Do you like the way you look? not really, I like my style and I’m not the ugliest but I still have some insecurities Have you ever cut your hair yourself? I usually do, sometimes ask for my mother’s help

Are you a fan of bread and butter? I hate butter, it’s like eating soap, gross

Do you like your room? I wish I had wallpaper and different furniture/floor etc. If a friend called you to help hide a body, would you help or turn them in? dunno, depends Have you ever had a crush on someone that, now as you look back, is completely embarrassing? could say so Ever kissed someone who wasn’t single? if I was in relationship with them then they weren’t single :P just saying Ever spit in someone’s food/drink? don’t do that :o

Does it bother you when you have crumbs on your bed? that’s annoying so I never eat in bed Do you drive or use public transportation? bus or just walk Do you prefer candles or incense? I prefer no smells but I liked incense more in the past tbh, scentless candles are better but I don’t use them as it’s pointless - only birthday cake of Christmas if I have to

What’s something you do even though you know it’s bad for you? ugh... Is your bedroom usually messy or tidy? messy Do you text or talk on your cell phone more? text Have you ever dressed up as a clown? sorta Do you consider yourself a good dancer? not the worst Warm weather or cold weather? warm Do you like it when people are jealous of you? they have nothing to be jealous of

Do you like ice in your water? nah

Have you ever inhaled helium? noooooo

Do you know any card tricks? one

Do you like bubble wrap? I don’t care for it

Do you ever wear clothing of the opposite sex? sure, today I bought socks in childrens section with “for boys” written on it today because I liked ‘em and they were my size *shrug*

Have you ever taken karate classes? it was self defence class but had some karate elements in it

Have you ever given flowers to someone? of course

Do you have a passport? what for, I don’t travel, especially abroad

Have you ever been to a planetarium? I haven’t and am not interested

Have you ever ridden a motorcycle? not yet

Have you ever milked a cow? dunno if I would ever try lol

When was the last time you went trick-or-treating? we don’t do that in Poland so...

Have you ever used a slingshot? no, I used/own a bow

When was the last time you saw someone you went to high school with?: this summer

What breed was the last dog you saw?: my dog is mixed

How long have your parents been together (or how long were they together, if they no longer are): over 30 years

Has anyone in your life ever treated you abusively?: more than one person, shitload of times

Would you date someone who has a hearing aid? yup

If you were to be stuck on a deserted tropical island, how big would you like the island to be? it’s not about size but what’s there

Have you ever brought home a stray animal? yep

Song? I was listening to Lana Del Rey and David Bowie all day long

Would you date someone with braces? done XD

Do you ever rehearse conversations before you have them? that’s my thing

You notice someone staring intently at you, what do you do? raise my eyebrow?

Do you blush easily? I barely every blush, only my current partner can make me blush

When taking a cab, do you talk to the driver? I hate that

Would you ever work at McDonald’s? I don’t think so Are you a member of any dating sites? was

Girls, how old were you when you first learned how to put in a tampon? I used pads Would you ever attend a gay pride parade or festival? I would In general, do you think you are nicer to girls or guys? girls Have you ever seen a double rainbow? I saw double rainbow indeed, even not that long time ago again Do you have a favorite TV show that actually isn’t on air anymore? Buffy Do you use the facebook chat often? constantly Do you have any baby pictures of yourself on your computer? not on computer Last person you talked to? online or irl? You’ve had sex within these past 10 days haven’t you? *counting on my fingers*

Do you like beer? If so, what’s your favourite brand?: ewww, yuk

Do you feel bad when you throw food out?: very

How do you feel right now?: emotionally/mentally bad

Have you ever broken a window, intentionally or not?: luckily not

Can you sing?: not well

Have you ever watched an entire season of a tv show in one day? woah that’s too much :o

Do you like shrimp?: hell no

Are you lactose intolerant?: been told

What colour shirt are you wearing right now?: mostly white

What day of the week is it? Wednesday What does that mean you have to do? go to sleep, it’s almost midnight What are your plans for tomorrow? shopping, clean my room...

Would you rather visit the Taj Mahal or the Eiffel Tower? Eiffel Tower because of my S.O. Have you showered yet today? I’ll go now Have you ever won more than $100 dollars playing the lottery? I wish Do you have any nieces or nephews? niece How short would you be willing to cut your hair? almost bald but won’t, M. would kill me If someone made a movie about your life, who would star as you? Maisie Williams Is your birthday in winter? sadly Did you graduate high school within the last 2 years? I graduated high school about 10 years ago Will you graduate high school in the next 2 years? look above

Do you have any youtube videos of yourself? they’re private

What are somethings you never leave your house without? panties

0 notes

love-transparentstudentarca-blog · 6 years

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