#how does one even tag this kind of post
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I'm not a writer so don't ask me for a fic, but
I keep imagining a scenario where Merlin is holding Arthur as he's dying, but with a magical grief outburst like Morgana's over Morgause. Except for Merlin it sends his time manipulation powers into overdrive and he ends up reversing it, all the way back to the beginning. I've read several fics where he time travels back, but in this scenario I imagine Arthur ALSO knows about it, because Merlin was holding him as it happened. Imagine Camelot at the very start of season 1 and only Arthur and Merlin have knowledge of the past/future 10 years. I'd imagine it would change quite a bit (they def support Morgana from the beginning, smuggle out any sorcerers because they don't quite want to actually murder the king, maybe Arthur and Morgana end up simply traumatizing him with their stances on magic idk, they adopt mordred and also hatch and smuggle Aithusa in, gaslighting everyone into thinking she's a bird)
Now Arthur has to do the whole 'keep Merlin's magic a secret' thing.. he's terrible at it, Morgana ends up knowing within 5 minutes
I would also imagine it would change the relationship dynamics, sharing 10 years with only one person is bound to bring you even closer together (yes I need merthur to happen here, but it could also be mergwenthur 👀 or if Merthur is endgame Gwen should at least get to end up with both Lancelot and Morgana, she deserves everything)
#again im not a writer so this is all youre getting from me#feel free to add on to it tho#or write it yourself#its free real estate#just tag me pls#I want to consume it#merlin#merthur#headcanons#how does one even tag this kind of post#confused artist noises#arthur pendragon#mergwenthur#gwencelot#morgwen#emrys
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but fr outside of my contracted madness i absolutely refuse to give joe alwyn gold rush like how is that song at all related to their relationship the lyrics clearly spell out a relationship that either never existed or only existed in implication and fantasies and maybe-maybe nots and its so bitter and yet desperately soft in the bridge where it almost projects a sense of envy, of wanting to be them as much as you want them. It continues an interesting oft ignored lyrical trend of taylor wanting just as much to be her lover as to have them, envying their easy charisma (you were flush with the currency of cool/i was always turning out my pockets) or quiet dignity (your integrity makes me seem small) dating back to her earliest songs (the kind of flawless i wish i could be). Theres a projected self hatred and yearning to be better that twists itself into both romantic and sexual lust for her partners thats so fascinating and speaks to how all of her songs regardless of who theyre about are also an act of self reflection on who she is and who she wishes to be.
#barry.txt#taylor swift#putting this in the tags as a form of self protection but make no mistake this is a gay thing to do especially in gold rush#which through simple context clues is Obviously About A Woman or maybe even women in general#whivh is a totally seperate post on how taylor constructs and uses gender identity in her music#her girlhood and femininity are earnest but also so carefully constructed and so high effort and kind of desperate#shes a deeply self concious and obsessive person who never looks comfortable in anything ever unless shes#onstage or like. by herself in loose jeans and a tshirt#i think thats one of the things that subconsciously irritate ppl when it comes to her shes constantly and clearly putting in effort#to appear As The Celebrity Taylor Swift and struggles not to self censor or overperform in interviews (when she gives them)#especially present in pre 1989 interviews where the interviewers really didnt have to respect her or worry abt how they frame her#if they didnt want to. Like the fearless era rolling stone interview where she almost has a meltdown over her mom buying eggnog instead of#milk. That whole interview is strange looking back not just bc of the weird misogyny but also because of what it does share#taylor is....weird. She has a strange and desperate vibe and always reacts slightly too much and uses slang poorly#shes media trained and has learned how to socialize but you can feel her discomfort whenever she doesnt have a guitar in her hand#idk these tags have once again gotten so unweildy. i just find it interesting that she finally feels some level of comfortable#in sharing that construction w us in songs like mirrorball and mastermind and imo gold rush#and scene#should i write this up and put it in the swiftieism zine#i should write something and put it in the swiftieism zine
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there’s a tiktok going around of a woman recording herself sobbing directly into the camera because as she says in the text over the video of her crying her relationship of eight years just ended and since she has adhd that heightens your emotions and while this is not the first video of this kind i’ve seen making the rounds on al gore’s internet it is the first where i’ve seen people call anyone who criticizes the video a misogynist and truly genuinely people need to get a grip because from where i’m sitting we should be criticizing this behavior even more it’s so bizarre to me that we don’t more frequently say how weird and disturbing it is that we’ve created a culture where it’s perfectly normal to intentionally record yourself performatively experiencing all of the trials and triumphs of being alive for internet points which has been coupled with individuality culture and the need to pathologize every very human behavior and emotion to create people whose brains have been so broken that everyone now thinks their every experience is unique to them alone and so naturally they are the first person to feel awful after a long term relationship ends but because of a developmental disorder and not just because they’re a person with feelings and it fucking sucks when sad things happen and i hate it so much we need to knock it off stop recording yourself being alive. stop it.
#something fun about this post is how many people in the tags assume i personally don’t have adhd or any other developmental disorders#i KNOW your emotions are heightened because of ADHD. i live with it every day.#but there’s this NASTY trend of pathologizing every emotion and behavior as a disorder symptom when really you’re just Alive#doing that does nothing but hurt those of us with developmental disorders by infantilizing and alienating us even more#and to be clear i’m using this video as an example because it’s the most recent one i’ve seen but i’m not linking it#because i really don’t actually want to feed into whatever pile on is happening or inadvertently encourage that kind of behavior
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something really gets to me about eiffel and hera talking to themselves while addressing each other - in am i alone now? and the watchtower in particular. i can't say this to you, but you're still the person i want to tell it to. i know there's no way you can hear me, but if you can...
eiffel talks to himself a lot, and he is very used to being alone with no one paying much attention to the things he says, so i'm not sure he ever realized exactly how much until he was on the hephaestus. in the early days of the mission, i imagine hera responded to a lot of eiffel's asides and sort of embarrassed them both. and then that sort of... shifted. their relationship shifted, they got comfortable being around each other, and eiffel's conversations with himself started including hera, too. i like the idea of that as an establishing moment: that, at some point, there was a first time eiffel said something in an empty room, and hera was so used to him talking to himself that she didn't realize it was meant for her, and he asked her, "hera? are you there?"
i imagine hera still talked to eiffel, too, when they all thought he was dead. with each day increasingly longer and more difficult, that she would vent her frustrations to the empty comms room the same way he would've encouraged her to when he was there. she can't talk to anyone the way she can talk to him, and they just... keep talking to each other, even when they can't. they are so much a part of each other, the voice of encouragement and comfort in each other's heads. for so long, all they can really do for each other is talk, and they maintain that connection even in absence. they ask each other "are you there?" like reaching for each other's hands in the dark.
#wolf 359#w359#doug eiffel#hera wolf 359#eiffera#was talking about the middle part of this with beth hephaestuscrew earlier and she got the gears in my head turning#this kind of feels like multiple posts mashed together but i just. mm.#the importance of communication in all wolf 359 relationships but especially between eiffel and hera because it's so much of what#tethers hera to everyone and everything else. that even if she's annoyed sometimes by eiffel asking if she's there. it's also#a comfort in a way that he wants that affirmation. he's reaching out to her in the best way he knows how. and she does it too#i said some version of the last line of this in the tags of another post once but i think about it. i think about it.#there's something about how. hm.#eiffel drives conversations in the show. he's the communications officer. he gets people talking#and hera is the type of person who. goes quiet more often who shuts down and internalizes#that she's as much defined by the things she doesn't say.#and then. that some part of their relationship then ends up defined by things that couldn't be said#'hera i ---' but also that she calls him doug when she's 'talking' to him#but never directly never actually to him#i know not everyone will agree with me on this but i sincerely do think eiffel/hera is a canon romance it's just. an incomplete one#and something about that compels me very much.
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One of my favorite character traits that Junpei has is how as much as he's protective and caring to his favorite people and impulsively jumps into danger to help others if he has an opportunity to without wanting anything in return and highly values the promises he makes he just seems to also always be more curious than he is sensible or empathetic, he gets so caught up on the horrors he sees but he has such a hard time looking away, he's right to analyze and be intrigued by the ninth man's remains but he stands around staring at it until he pukes, in the showers you can interact with the wall behind which lies "Snake's" corpse and he will pick up more details about it each time you click on it until he has to mentally rip himself away because it's not that he can't keep looking at it it's that he better look away and focus on getting out, and the way he talks to Clover about the body with every minutiae she wouldn't want to hear is like his brain connects faster to his mouth than it can connect to his sense of morality sometimes which I guess turned out to be a good thing in this one case or just good common sense in general like there's other minor things he blurts out at times, he's stated to not have tact be his strongest suit, he's insensitive on accident trying to fumble through interactions even if he's entirely confident on what he's saying he's soo sharp when he has a goal in mind but he's soo dense if he's trying to just exist my man is so traumatized and his brain always seems to default to taking the most of any given situation in as possible to desensitize himself instead of any other response and sometimes it pushes his mind to be so single mindedly entranced on not ending up that way too that he'll describe a mangled body in excruciating detail to a grieving relative even if that's his friend and even if he feels guilty about it immediately as soon as he catches up with what just left his mouth instead of staying in his thoughts
#I did it I made a post about Junpei without talking about the Kurashikis!!#I am... still doing that here in the tags because that's how this train of thought started but... akdhsk#like I just started thinking how even in the everything is fine and junepei still has the capacity to be a healthy couple AU in my head#he would still have moments™ like this#how he would make invasive little questions about uncomfortable things to reminisce about#not realize he's overstepping right away not deal in the best way with Akane's meltdowns if she's doing bad enough to have them#kind of like in door 3 as in still being touchy and stuff but nothing bad on purpose#nothing like pushing her around like I still can't believe he canonically does in zero tiem dilemma#but yeah basically that's it that's the post I like Junpei a lot despite not being as present in my every waking thought as other character#and I love this about him love that he isn't just completely heroic that he has to struggle a bit#he's a protagonist that feels so generic for the first few minutes but he's anything but the more you play#I love how No One in ze is a good flawless person the way stories usually portray#they have quirks and hang ups that they are capable of doubling down on or turning for the worse under circumstances that push them to#again not. really including zerotiemdillema on that one but you get what I mean#zero escape#zero escape spoilers#999 spoilers#junpei 999#junpei tenmyouji#every character in this series who ultimately wants to do good has to struggle so much with the horrors around them and in themselves for i#and then there still aren't right simple answers and they still try for the slim possibility that things can be okay this time and I love i#escape room convention but it's a time loop
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do y'all even know how easy it would be to lie about comic books on here... nobody else is out here reading all of marvel 2099 on the reg, and the official wikis are all still full of rampant misinformation to this day-- like, obviously i wouldn't, but. seriously. constantly i am haunted by the knowledge that if i were a Worse Person it would be so easy to get away with,,
#talking tag#i could be So Evil. i could be So Evil and Tell Lies#i Cant. it would be betraying my autism and set off The Bomb but in THEORY............#this post is Intended 2 be light-hearted not. like. Existential lol#mostly poking fun at myself here. the Reason i Know So Much abt marvel 2099 isn't because i Love It i just have a Specific special interest#AND IT'S NOT EVEN THE WHOLE IMPRINT... could you imagine how much worse my life would be if i had latched onto Ravage instead.#god. lucked OUT w/ sm2099. it's like. the only one that's fun to actively read/reread too lol#ghost rider 2099 is Fun but. in a v exaggeratedly over-the-top most of the time kind of way. i love zero in Small Doses hes 19 dead & Angry#and the book does not Stay fun :pensive:
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we were so robbed of seeing Jack’s perspective to his growing relationship with Ianto. I just think seeing a conversation (him and Gwen presumably) where he realises what’s happening (falling in love) and the implications (with a mortal) would just fuck me up and I need to experience it
#the conversations ianto has with owen (a day in the death - esp the extended script) and tosh (dinner and a show)#GODDD they are emotional#but in terms of jacks perspective?#I think the closest we get is the banter in some of the comics?#if anyone does have names of media that have this kind of perspective pls do drop the name🥺#(thqt includes audio/novel/fics etc!)#I just think he would have so much to say#when he notices it’s not gonna end up a one night stand (or 100 night stand)#and how much he will lose when his lover inevitably dies#jack harkness#janto#torchwood#and dont talk to me about the conversation in CoE that did not even scratch the surface#he was being Mr Emotional Constipation there#hence why I think he would be talking to gwen about this#they will talk to anyone but each other about their relationship istg#sorry this post is like 75% tags lmao
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I wonder how many tags i can add on to this
#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30?#idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo#this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed#the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do.#i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg#but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count?#I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or#something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who#thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding#very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting#absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is#basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post.#why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags*#it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows.#where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since#i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li#type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to#be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell#'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one.#this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer#anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can.#which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi#whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23#except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang#i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue#i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan#to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone.#thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really...#...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though#would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y
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I often think about "Well Camila was motherly to Amity, Gus, and Willow too does that make her their mom too?" Like. Yes??? Do y'all not get how found family works?
Like she was fully willing to raise all of them and I doubt that'll change like do you think that she wouldn't want to meet up with their parents and collaborate with them? She was raising their kids for months, it's kind of similar to a foster parent situation like they all have their biological parents and they are going to return and live with them but I fully believe they all think of Camila as a mother/call her mom?
Not in the way where any of them are Luz's siblings of course (Hunter and her are different imo just cause Luz was sisterly towards Hunter long before Camila was involved anyway) and in Amity's case it's very obviously a situation of "of course you can call me mom, you're dating my daughter/family" like is completely normal for their situation.
But like, with Gus and Willow "Luz's mom" becomes just "mom" and that's natural to them considering neither of them even have mothers so it's not like she's replacing anyone with that title.
Would she legally adopt them? No she has no reason to do that but that doesn't make her less of a mother to them. Eda doesn't legally adopt Luz but she's still Luz's 2nd mom? Luz is still King's sibling?
It's just weird the way that Camila's role in these children's lives is minimized so much that's the whole hexsquad's mom now no take-backsies whether or not they still officially live with her or not is irrelevant.
[Dadrius deniers/haters DNI y'all are annoying, Darius has so much fatherly swag it's unreal.]
#camila noceda#putting it in her tag specifically since this post is abt her don't derail/lh#it's kind of a foster parent type situation like yes Camila is not parent no 1 for these 3 yes they had homes to return to already but#like an actually good foster parent will be she's part of the team of people dedicated to keeping these kids safe and raising them like#she's still important to these kids she's their mom and she was there for them when their parents physically could not be and she'll#continue to be their mom even after they return to their parents like she has no reason NOT to be their her kids#anyway the double standard with how Eda can adopt other people's kids and show a lot less affection to some of them ppl hc as her kids#and no one really questions it vs how Camila will open her home and be team mom and be fully invested in their lives#and in their and their parents' recoveries and how all of them will be fully at ease with her and feel safe around her and she treats#them with the same care and compassion as she does Luz and Vee and people will be like 'she's just being nice tho it doesn't mean anything'#is insane to me#anyway darius and camila are holding hands over ppl being so annoying about them they are besties now
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man does anyone else just constantly forget neji died?? i was rewatching the war arc and got to it like HUH OH YEAH like i remember shikaku and inoichi more than him because i just didn’t like the writing for his and repressed it too much so now whenever i see any reference to it my brain blue screens for like 20 seconds straight
#it simply does not compute#like don’t get me wrong im into tragedy and well written character deaths ALWAYS get me#but idk i just thought neji was a poor choice if you HAD to kill one of the konoha twelve off#not that i WANTED any of them to die but i do think someone else would have been a better option#or killing off more than one would have balanced it better#and then it was also just how it was crammed between all the other big events so we had to rush past it#shout out to the fillers always knowing naruto deaths aren’t striking hard enough and giving the dead characters more significance lol#can always tell someone is about to die when the fillers start giving them all the meaningful moments rip#idk though even the folllow up grieving and references just didn’t add enough#plus how it kind of just contradicted the main goal of the series idk#i just don’t like it so my brain is just like what death???#probably would stick better if i ever rewatched post war or if i watched boruto though#but i dont so i continue to relive the ‘wtf why :/‘ every time i remember it lol#naruto shippuden spoilers#naruto spoilers#?????#does anyone need that tag???#idk i added it in case
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For anyone keeping track (no one), I have started watching the first Avengers film (MCU not the 60s TV show) but only while eating lunch so it's gonna take a while. So far Nick Fury has been assembling the Avengers (the film was initially released in the UK as Avengers Assemble - because of that 60s TV show - but it's not called that on D+ so I'm calling it what the Americans called it, just FYI) even though there's not yet anything for them to avenge as That Suit Guy (j/k I know his name too!!) isn't dead yet, and now they're on THE FUCKING VALIANT FROM DR WHO and I assume we're gonna continue assembling for a while as they're not all there yet.
MEANWHILE Loki (who is neither an alligator nor a woman in this???) is in a SECRET UNDERGROUND LAIR with a bunch of his stans who are... idk something technobabble that involves irridium and anti-protons. He is there looking for the tesseract on behalf of ???? who I know will be revealed 47 films from now as... no, wait, it wasn't, was it? That was just announced on a website or something? So it could be LITERALLY ANYONE. The Avengers (in-progress) also seem to be after that thing, but I have already forgotten why everyone is wanting it, assuming it was mentioned (it probably was).
Thor hasn't shown up yet, but Arrows Hawkeye is working as a Loki Stan and there's Steve Rogers and THE HULK and The Only Woman One, whose power is that she's a Cold War assassin (??) and I think this one is the film where she gets called a cunt (!) and honestly I am not sure which of the men she's getting officially shipped with, I think Arrows Hawkeye though? Fairly sure, as the alternative is that a man and a woman like each other as people but not in a lusty way, which would never happen obviously. (Hey I may ship mostly het* pairings but I don't always like it!)
Based on the Valiant (if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!) I am guessing that the film ends with Loki dying in Thor's arms romantically but then I remembered that I know it can't because one of Loki got kidnapped from... either the end of this film or the start of the next one or POSSIBLY just from a later film's time-travel bit (???) but like... maybe they've edited this film secretly and I was right after all? But nobody else has watched it on Disney + recently so nobody knows yet? IT COULD HAPPEN.
Not sure what to make of this film so far, a lot's been going on yet also not much has been going on, and the one I like best so far (Suit Guy) is gonna die (NOT EVEN IN THOR'S ARMS ROMANTICALLY) and god Iron Man really hasn't aged well now that we have that one tech billionaire being a twat in public all the time to remind us what such people tend to be like. WHERE IS THOR????
*I say het but everyone in everything is bisexual, I know this because I thought of it and announced it on tumblr and will now say "I don't make the rules" to make it an objective FACT. I don't make the rules!!!
#the avengers (mcu edition not the 60s one)#(though if u close one eye and tilt ur head the black widow looks a wee bit like emma peel maybe?)#i like to think the lair of loki stans exists after this to post angrily on social media about how actually he did nothing wrong etc etc#let me know if loki's just working from a subway station that's still in use in this that'd be hilarious he'd be so annoyed by it all#torn on the tortured-by-thanos issue so far he does look messy but he might just have the flu and didn't want to back out#a lot of people are depending on him to jumpstart a movie superhero franchise he can't just take the day off can he#if loki took care of himself thor would be LITERALLY UNEMPLOYED how could he? how could YOU?#(the 'god of thunder' thing isn't a job he doesn't get paid for it so it's just a hobby)#(he doesn't even monetise that hobby! you think iron man would give you storms for free? EXACTLY. he'd have a patreon AT LEAST)#(“if you enjoyed this torrential rain pls tip me on ko-fi which is not pronounced like you think it is because it's a really BAD pun”)#mcu tag i guess#and whatever the fuck my loki character tag was#like i said i really do need to categorise my lokis more it's been bothering me for a while#reminder: i am here because they cast a woman in a previously-male role and SHE'S NOT EVEN IN THIS FILM. OR ANY OF THEM. D:#don't think the alligator's gonna turn up here either :( :( :(#otherwise it's just kind of fascinating what this film assumes i do and don't know about these characters#nick fury's a goth right?
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A closer look at my young Askr siblings designs! Sharena's kind of constantly fluctuates, but I've always had a really clear vision for an early teen Alfonse.
#fire emblem#feh#tags on prev post (above post? other post.) apply here LMFAOO#outfits are kind of vague/unimportant (though i did ref young marth for alfonse)#i think what i want to capture most is like. esppp where sharena and peony split off when they reach a certain age#like idk how many other designs i've posted i feel like maybe one. but other designs for her#include twintails (ofc) and sort of a gradual process. where it ultimately ends up the way it does in canon#again my ideas for alfonse are v straightforward. going from high restriction ->#to some control over his appearance (although he is met w disapproval for it) -> to finding something he likes (as we see him now)#(secret other step -- mental breakdown and worst haircut you've ever seen by his own hand approximately 3months before summoner shows up)#i just think. these sorts of things are what make us human.#which is why one of my BIGGEST pet peeves is when younger designs for charas look IDENTICAL to their adult versions just smaller#LIKE. EVEN BEYOND BEING TRANSGENDER. SHOW ME A PERMANENT STATE OF BEING ASSHOLE‼️‼️‼️‼️#people cut their hair and grow it out and dye it and sometimes tastes in aesthetics change. ect.#i will be here ALL day if i allow myself to get into this I NEED TO LEAVE I WANT TO LEAVE‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️#fe alfonse#sharena#my art
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Sad posting in the tags, you're free to ignore. Just need to get it out of my system and twit circle isn't sufficing.
#I think posting someone else's art they did for me#To the same audience with all the same tags and thematic matter#And having their art get way more interaction than mine is the final straw to make me give up on art#I don't get any joy out of it#I don't find catharsis out of it anymore#I used to do art because it was like spewing my innermost workings on a page and saying to the world 'this is how I feel'#There was something very vulnerable with sharing that with people but#I wanted to make people understand what's in my head#A cry for help if you will#Or more like a cry for understanding#And it feels so hollow when people who get plenty of interaction say 'oh if you're upset by no interaction#Then you're doing it for the wrong reasons etc etc'#And for one it's easy to say when your stuff DOES get plenty of interaction#But for two as a teenager I was viral on deviantart. Thousands of followers and multiple daily deviations#Before I even turned 18#I literally grew up and am conditioned to thrive on external validation and I just don't get that anymore#Ever since I deleted my deviantart in 2014 because my abuser was literally using it to stalk me I haven't been able to hold an audience#I threw it all away and now I can't get it back. Not here not twit not insta not anywhere#So I'm giving up. That's it that's all. Not like anybody gives a shit anyways#It kind of feels like ripping out a piece of your soul#Putting it on display and then having no one care#I'm tired of destroying myself just to be ignored over and over again#I really did peak when I was 17 didn't I
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My favorite extremely niche garashir fanfic trope is when people write "what Garak was doing in If Wishes Were Horses" fic and obviously Julian shows up but so does Tain at the same time. Like it makes perfect thematic sense that Garak's guilt and trauma show up to ruin his romantic/sexual daydreams! But also. god. the Freud of it all.
#OH SHOOT let me#incest mention tw#incest implied tw#(??? idk how to say)#for the post kinda but definitely the tags#the universe wants Garak to have an Elektra complex so bad#Tain puts the Wire in his head. Julian takes it out.#Tain is the one to both trap him in the closet and let him out again. Julian does the same to him with the wall in the prison camp.#The parallel of Julian's kindness at Garak's deathbed vs Tain's cruelty to him at his own. The same clasping of hands gesture both times.#hmmmmmmm. many thoughts.#not even touching the incest themes in ASIT btw that's a whole other post. NEED to update my ASIT post with my thoughts post-Part 2.#ok I think we're out of tag search range now so#garashir#Elim Garak#Star Trek: Deep Space 9#Starky's text posts#Starky's original posts#anyways stream ''all my secrets away'' by susiecarter on ao3
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YES my username on yt is a blood bros reference :33 i need to go to crimes world again i know in my heart and soul that i love her but i seldom show her attention .. i need to care her more ..
HOOFRAY!!!! also pretty please do!!!!!!! for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!
#such a good album it is Insane that like. you never really see it talked about outside of certain spaces#and even then it was originally derided for being much less heavy than its predecessors#such a smart album lyrically and even in just like certain songs like peacock skeleton with crooked feathers#which btw is my go-to song to introduce people 2 them#for obvious reasons. the way the vocals play off each other#the keyboard#aforementioned lyrics because man they’re good at writing political lyrics that are simultaneously very pointed and relevant to this day#and also just plain fun. the way they word stuff rolls off the tongue very well#which I suppose is very much in part to Whitney being a very literary guy from what I’ve read up about him#SPEAKING OF!!!!! Jesus Christ the vocals. the vocals#(positive)#very very powerful for a guy who was like…. 21-22 at the time of recording I’d reckon?#I know whitney’s vocals are a turn off for the band for most people but imo? it’s one of the main appeals. 2 me he is like an insanely good#vocalist. almost jealous that he can hit those notes as a cis guy and I can’t cause omfg in like. wolf party near the end#HOW DOES A GUY MANAGE THAT…..#I love how they incorporated elements of other genres in it. like I don’t see them as indie rock like people#for whatever reason#like to describe them as in that album#but you can hear the elements. bringing up wolf party again cause nick zinner did some of the guitar in that and he’s in an indie band no?#yeah yeah yeahs or whatevs. they’re cool seeming I should check ‘em out#ALSO sorry I kind of glossed over Blilie. he’s really fucking good in the album obvs!!!!#pretty sure he did the album art which. omfg it’s had an aesthetic chokehold on me as of late#and also just. he has a nice voice#the sort of warbley thing he has and also his screams… goated#contrary to my posting#I’m actually a bliliegirl I’d consider myself lol. Whitney happens to also have a psychic chokehold on me#this is obvious. I go by Johnny and want to go blonde HMMMMM I WONDER WHY..#my bad for rambling in tags I just. I love that album so deeply#it’s very meaningful to my identity and songs like the title track and beautiful horses just. get me right at my core#evil neighing compilation
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so uh. do they know (does the hollow knight know the pale king is dead)
#happt 4am every one#hollow knight#i am tagging because i would be interested in hearing people’s thoughts on this#because i know there’s the implication of some manner of worldsense ability on the lore tablet#but how far does it extend#and i assume hollow wasn’t fully conscious the entire time sealed away considering dreams#and the radiance and all of that#i have also been thinking about the radiance as well. she’s very interesting in her own right#that is a different post though#sorry about your dad hollow. he kind of sucks#there is also the question of if the worldsense thing is even real or if it’s just posturing or something
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