#how metaphors can turn those emotions into something more understandable

[sitp-recs]

Wield Me by @tackytigerfic (E, 10k)

Drarry, pre-Tedrarry

Draco Malfoy, blacksmith, is renowned through the magical world for his skill and exquisite creations. He could quite easily spend the rest of his days making pretty trinkets for the fae court, and being handsomely rewarded for the privilege. But why take the easy route when instead he could get involved in a dangerous mission with Unspeakable Harry Potter (who also happens to be Draco's... well, he's something, isn't he?). A little story about learning to strike while the iron is hot.

“It’s deep magic, you know. It doesn’t recognize anything quite so specific as a particular location. It’s more conceptual, I suppose. You remember.” He knew they did, the long night of casting, Teddy carelessly throwing azaleas and yellow roses into the quench pool along with all the others; azaleas for homesickness and the desire to return to a place of safety, yellow roses for family. Not to mention all the runework they spent hours working on. Draco rolled his eyes at them. Othala. Harry had traced it over and over in the water, and then Draco had hammered the essence of it into the metal with his sweat and his fire. Homecoming. It would be enough.

Because one birthday rec wasn’t enough I am back, this time reccing the fic Tacky gifted me on my last birthday so we’re coming full circle with the love show :D it’s hard to put into words all the feelings this fic inspired in me. I could not believe my sneaky friend (who’s pretty monogamic about their Drarry btw) had crafted something so special bringing together my two OTPs! I remember reading this in a haze, too eager to unravel that delicious summary and get to the promised Teddy kissing, but also not ready for it to be over after 10k and dreading the emotional devastation that was sure to follow. I realize that Harry/Teddy is not everyone’s jam (yet 😏) and might discourage some people to check this out, so I thought I’d follow my previous rec format and list a few reasons why I loved this so much:

1. The world: I kid you not, 10k feels like 30k once you get introduced to this magical world Tacky so masterfully crafted - vibrant, intriguing, creative, a main character in itself. I was already losing my mind over buff blacksmith Draco in a leather tunic (🥵) but then his stance against weaponry and the magical theory behind his forgery?? What an unexpected (but very much welcome) turn on. I am fascinated by this verse and wanna learn all about Draco’s backstory, about this society, its power structure, about Harry and Teddy’s job and the gritty dangers that Teddy is about to face, and whether or not he’ll find his way back home - back to Harry - safe and sound. So many questions left unanswered and this thrill, an adventurous feeling about their quest that kept me engaged until the end. What a masterclass in world building!

2. The tenderness: as per their trademark, Tacky gives this fic a lot of emotional depth and nuance, showing how easily love can multiply when Harry is the recipient (seeing how wanted he is here makes me feral) while keeping this unmistakably a Drarry romance. 40yo fuck buddies who are so obviously into each other they make me giggle and kick my feet, plus a careful balance between all dynamics in play - Teddy’s crush on Harry and respect for Draco, Draco’s longing for Harry and understanding of Teddy, Harry’s trust in Draco and tenderness for Teddy, the overall affection and sexual tension fueling all those relationships making it impossible not to cheer for them. If you’re a Teddy fan like me you’re in for a treat: I adore his edgy personality, bold, brave, painfully young and so damn lovely, a perfect fit for Harry and Draco’s mellow and steady love.

3. The symbolism: this plays into the exquisite lore created within such elegant and contained writing, I just keep thinking about the possibilities, metaphors, the way recurrent themes like family and homecoming show up in Draco’s forgery work intertwining his, Harry’s and Teddy’s lives in such a definitive way you find yourself thinking “well it must be fate so it can’t be avoided, they gotta bang” 🤷🏻‍♀️ okay so maybe not everyone is horny for this triad as I am, but the implications behind the symbology go beyond lust, diving into something deeper and more meaningful like familial love. And because I’ve read everything else from Tacky’s (“Harry deserves roots” / “I’d be your mate” / “I like my choyse” / “Is tú mo Rogha” / “Queen Anne’s lace, it means sanctuary, home.”) and so on, I can’t help but get emotional here. Harry’s longing for a family is such a quintessential Tacky theme and seeing it expand to include my beloved Teddy in their sacred Drarry kingdom makes my heart sing.

TL;DR: I feel like I could spend days talking about this fic but then nobody would read it and I really, really want more people to fall in love with these clever, competent, brave and lovable characters and with the rich, fascinating world that makes you wish you could live inside it forever and see what happens next. So run don’t walk and go treat yourself today!

[ahqkas]

Gf! Reader who always had dodges someone’s touch due to the fear/discomfort of human touch. But suddenly Theo is shock to say she finally came over it when she wanted to hug her boyfriend without thinking about human touch burning (metaphorically) her own skin.

HARRY POTTER MASTERLIST!

© ahqkas — all rights reserved. even when credited, these works are prohibited to be reposted, translated or modified

THEODORE NOTT HAD ALWAYS BEEN THE OBSERVANT ONE. he always seemed to know if there was something different about you, noticing the little thing the moment it appeared. so, when he first saw you dodge a casual pat on the shoulder or shy away from a friendly hug, he understood that human touch brought you a kind of discomfort. it wasn’t something you talked about often, but theo could see the fear and unease in your eyes whenever anyone came too close.

you had explained it to him once, in quiet, halting words. the fear of touch was something that had haunted you for as long as you could remember, a deep-seated discomfort that made even the gentlest contact feel like a burning scratch on your skin. theo had listened, his heart aching with the urge to protect you from a pain he couldn't fully understand. he had always been patient, never pushing you to do more than you were comfortable with, and offering his support in any way he could.

one lazy sunday afternoon, you and theo were in the common room. the fire crackled warmly in the hearth, casting a soft, flickering light across the room. your boyfriend was reading a book, his long fingers idly turning the pages, while you sat across from him, your own book open but untouched in your lap. you watched him instead, the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathed, the way his eyes flicked back and forth across the words on the pages. there was something soothing about being near him, like you were at home, feeling the love seep through your skin.

without any kind of encouragement or guidance, the desire to be as close to him as humanly possible washed over you and so those thoughts that came with it. theo had been your sanctuary person for some time now, and one can feel connected with someone for only a certain amount. the desire to let yourself be touched by his heavenly hands appeared like his feelings for you; strong and sudden.

slowly, you set your book aside and stood up, taking tentative steps toward theo. he looked up from his novel, his silver eyes widening in surprise as he saw you approach. you could see the concern in his eyes, the unspoken question of whether you were alright.

you paused just in front of him, your heart pounding in your chest. taking a deep breath, you reached out, your fingers trembling slightly as they brushed against his own, gently intertwining them together. theo didn't move, his gaze locked on yours, giving you all the time you needed to make your decision. he didn’t want you to shy away now.

when you didn't pull away, theo's eyes softened. he set his book aside and slowly, carefully, stood up, towering over your figure. he dropped your hands and opened his arms instead, letting you make the final decision. and so you stepped forward, allowing yourself to fall into his embrace. his arms wrapped around you, pulling you close, and for the first time, the touch didn't feel like a burn. it felt like coming home.

theo held you gently, his hands moving in slow, soothing circles on your back. you buried your face in his shoulder, breathing in his familiar scent, and felt a sense of peace wash over you. the fear that had always been a part of your life seemed to melt away in his arms, replaced by a warmth and safety you had never known before.

"i'm so proud of you," theo murmured, his voice a soft whisper in your ear. you could hear the emotion in his voice, the pride and love that filled his heart. “you have no idea how grateful you make me.”

[inconveniently-discorporated]

I feel like Crowley and Aziraphale are both about The Pleasures, but in similar and yet different ways.

Aziraphale's enjoyment is obvious -- he loves the food, he loves the drinks, he loves collecting physical things that remind him of things he enjoys. I think that these things are all more about the physical experience of them -- he enjoys cake because it physically tastes good, he enjoys hot cocoa because it does all those things Jimbriel talked about.

He turned his psychological safe space (Crowley) into his literal physical safe space (red & yellow bookshop -- *shiver*). He loves his clothes and they make him feel safe. He physically takes care of his clothes and maintains them, rather than making them appear out of the ether or cheating his way out of a stain.

Crowley is similar, but I think it's more conceptual for him.

He doesn't reject food -- we see him eating popcorn at the movies -- but I think it's more about the experience than it is the popcorn itself. Popcorn is an essential part of the experience, thus he has it. And speaking of movies, he's canonically heavily involved in media -- he enjoys partaking in, shaping, sharing the story of the human experience.

He doesn't reject worldly items, but the few he has seem to have deep emotional meaning to him. He has plants, living symbols of his pride, a physical metaphor for working through what happened to him. Otherwise, it's what's "cool". His apartment changes with the times, because it's not about how that specific stuff makes him feel, it's about the experience of staying in the modern era. Same with his clothes -- it's not about the exact outfit, it's how the outfit contributes to his experience of the world and his persona.

The Bentley is similar, though it is one physically object that he hasn't traded up through the years. I do wonder -- if Aziraphale had the Bentley, would it go a hundred years without needing gas, or would he be filling up every so often and dutifully maintaining every routine precisely on schedule? Even though it's a physical object, it still represents to Crowley the experience of being in control, and the physical maintenance of the object isn't really that important to him.

Drinking is especially curious to explore. They both like to do it, but Aziraphale seems to have very particular tastes. I think they both have their favorites, but it seems to me the drinking tends to be about the physical experience of doing it for Aziraphale, while for Crowley it tends to be about the emotional experience of altering one's mind and the method isn't particularly important.

I suspect physical affection might be the same way. I think physical touch is very important to Aziraphale because it feels good -- he likes putting his hands on Crowley, he likes staring and admiring his physical form, he likes dancing and moving to the music with him. I don't think Crowley would need it in quite the same way. I think it would be part of the experience of being in a relationship (e.g., he would like that it makes Aziraphale happy, he understands at the end of S2 the message he is conveying with the kiss) but I think the experience of their emotional exchange ("I say something brilliant, he says something unintentionally funny back. It's great!") creates that same feeling of closeness.

What might also be interesting is how those things look compared to their respective backgrounds.

Heaven is and always has been empty and devoid of things. The supreme Archangel doesn't even have a desk. It's all about the experience of being an angel, knowing one's place in the hierarchy, performing one's role. Gabriel likes the clothes because they make him feel more powerful and we can see that when he's being demoted from the position and he asks about his clothes.

Hell, by contrast, is cluttered and full of things. Things that are broken, things that don't belong, too many things that are just crowded and awful and everywhere. Everyone is someone's boss, everyone is someone's underling, and even orders from Beelzebub can't muster up more than a few dozen demons for Shax out of the millions of demons that are always loitering everywhere. Even a Duke of Hell has to stand by a leaky pipe with a bucket, his status means nothing.

On the flip side, Aziraphale's status as an angel means permanence. He has only ever known Heaven, and he has only ever known one side of Heaven (which is that you don't ask questions or you get in trouble -- he knew this before even Crowley did). I can see why he would find comfort in permanent things, like maintaining physical possessions that don't just up and change.

Crowley's experience as a demon sees that nothing is permanent, and everything can be taken away from you in an instant. You might be an esteemed usher at a trial, but you could still find yourself tossed in a tub of holy water on a whim. Here and now is the only guarantee. Your thoughts are the only things that you really have (though it will be interesting to see if an angelic memory wipe ever comes into play and what that means -- but I suspect it would make his thoughts and experiences even more precious for him to hang onto). He had his identity ripped away from him, of course his emotional identity is important to him now.

Overall, they both enjoy the world in very similar ways, but for Aziraphale I think it's based more in the physical emotion of the thing, and for Crowley the conceptual emotion of the thing. There's a lot of overlap (there's aspects of both physical/conceptual in his they both enjoy things) but that's them in general -- a little bit of each other in both of their personalities.

[whateversawesome]

SxF Chapter 91: Perspective, History, Empathy

Let me start by saying that I didn't think this chapter would make me so emotional. Was it the same for you?

A small side character like Millie, who we saw only as one of Yor's annoying co-workers, turned out to have a very sad backstory and gave us a glimpse of how things are for young people in Ostania.

This chapter talks a lot about people understanding and misunderstanding each other. Millie was just talking about her own experience and feelings, she was explaining why it was so difficult for her to help during an event like this, and that lady felt personally attacked because she saw things from her own point of view and her sufferings.

In no way the story discards any of those ladies' sufferings; what they went through during the war was very difficult, I'm sure. Nevertheless, comparing their sufferings and demanding Millie to act the same way just because they were able to do it, it's not right.

They both had different experiences because their circumstances were different, so they face life in their own way. That's exactly Yor's point.

Here, Yor demonstrates her best quality (and one of the many reasons why her husband fell in love with her): Emotional strength.

I've said it before and I'll say it again; Yor is a very emotionally intelligent character. The way she stood up for Millie displayed all her emotional strength. She called out that woman in such a smart way!! She wasn't rude but her words were true and very wise.

One of the most important things Yor mentions is that we cannot bear the same load because we're different. And I couldn't agree more👏

Also, if we take it as a metaphor, Yor is such a strong person because she carried a very heavy load: as a child and an orphan, she had to take care of her brother. Because of this, a naturally kind person like her had to learn to murder in order to survive.

It was a beautiful chapter. On top of everything, we learned a few important things:

1.Yor did lose her parents during the war and because of the war.

2.Donovan Desmond did NOT start the war. But plenty of young people like Millie don't know that, so it's possible that since he was Prime Minister during most of the war, he gets blamed for starting it.

3.Donovan Desmond is hated by many. That's probably the reason why he's no longer in office. And it also wouldn't be surprising that the majority of people in Ostania who voted against him want to move on from the war.

3.Melinda still wears her wedding ring and, even though she's separated from her husband, she still counts him as an important person for her. I guess, you can hate a person's actions and opinions, hate what they have become, but care about them at the same time...their marriage is complicated.

4.Not only Yor and Twilight fear the SSS because of their jobs. The general population do too because they know rich and powerful people can make them disappear regardless whether they are spies or not. That means arrests and disappearences of innocent people are common.

5.There was a repression during war time. This means the state controls and restricts certain rights of its citizens. When war happens, the state may determine it's necessary to protect their country and citizens. Chances are that policing of others started then and Ostanians got used to living like that.

And now some questions:

Was Melinda being sincere? In my opinion yes (for the most part). Melinda is no longer campaigning for her husband. In fact, she's going there incognito. Since her husband is no longer the Prime Minister and they don't have any elections to win, she doesn't have to support this types of events. If you think about it, once a politician retires from the public eye, their spouse generally goes back to their normal life.

Something that caught my attention was that it was mentioned Melinda has a lot of enemies; probably because her husband has a lot of enemies too. If that's the case, it would be easier for Melinda to move abroad, where she could have a care-free life, yet, she has chosen to stay in Ostania. Why?

Melinda is still a very mysterious character. We don't know her plans or intentions. We don't know why she separated from her husband. My only guess is that she's suffered a great deal and that's why she's able to empathize with Millie, even though their experiences are different.

What do you think?

Bonus (to end on a light note):

This is the Sxf when we see Yor 😄

[raayllum]

6x05 Moonless Night Speculation

So 6x05 is called "Moonless Night" and it's ruining my life (affectionate), so let's talk about it.

Seasonal Placement

Something that's worth noting, I think, is that while episode 5 is undoubtedly an important episode in each season, as it marks the official "over halfway point" of the 9-episode assortment, thus far across the series it doesn't tend to hold the most plot compared to episodes occasionally surrounding it. Consider how 2x05-2x06 or 3x04-3x05 are grouped together as little collections, either grinding the plot to a halt to give flashbacks or to see Ezran leave his kingdom crownless and for Rayla and Callum to retrieve Zym from the wily Nyx. Even 4x05 and 5x05 aren't particularly plot heavy episodes, often getting the next segment of the story underway by travelling to a new location or having certain characters / pieces of information reconvene.

What episode five does tend to be are emotional turning points for characters:

1x05: This is the episode that makes the trio Friends, most notably allowing Rayla to open up to the boys about her parents and her fears, and having their togetherness reaffirmed. Unlike in the previous episodes, she's not hopeful or tolerating them anymore, and the boys have seen some of her more consistently good attributes / learning her behaviours too.

2x05: Callum finds the resolve to open the letter from King Harrow and we see where his mother, stepfather, and Viren felt about the mission that ultimately led to tragedy.

3x05: Soren chooses to do the right thing and stand by Ezran, and Callum and Rayla begin their romantic relationship.

4x05: Callum and Rayla deal with the lingering results of their fallout, even as Callum is able to admit that he is happy she's back, and we see how Rayla has become more jaded whereas Soren's gone in the opposite direction.

5x05: The group reconvenes to decide what to do for the rest of the season about Aaravos, leading to an interesting difference between the brothers. This one fits the pattern the least, arguably, but we'll talk a bit more about how S5 breaks patterns in a second.

As of course, TDP doesn't have to follow any previous seasonal notions. In every other season, Callum's arc(s) have always carried over into the season finale in some way—for 1x09 and 2x09, it's his relationship with magic, and for 3x09 and 4x09, it's his relationship with Rayla. Season five subsequently breaks convention as his arc is shored up by the end of 5x08, leaving 5x09 to give more room for Viren and Claudia's emotional arcs as well as a minor beat for Rayla's metaphorical/literal one with water. Season six could break previous patterns even further with 6x05 being a massive turning point.

With all that in mind, let's first examine what the Moon itself represents in TDP, and then what a night being moonless might mean before we get into plot and emotional arc speculation.

What does the Moon Represent in TDP?

One of the things that's nice about a series like TDP that takes its magic so literally is that we do have a handy list of things the Moon represents, at least tangentially. Callum's Spellbook reads, "Illusion, love, charm, private, deep, secrets, manipulation, death, reflection, appearances, and duality." Certainly seems like a very Aaravos-y star adjacent list, don't you think?

And we also get the explanation from Lujanne in 2x01, which is based off Plato's concept of the forms:

The arcanum of the moon is about understanding the relationship between appearances and reality. Most people believe that reality is truth and that appearances are deceiving. But those of us who know the Moon arcanum understand we can only truly know the appearance itself. You can never touch the so-called reality that lies just beyond the reach of your own perception.

For Lujanne, the philosophy behind the arcanum is rooted in the duality of truth vs secrets, appearances (and illusions) stacked against each other, and the nature of reality. However, we see other aspects of the Moon arcanum, such as Moonshadow form, be tethered to something equally involved in duality if perhaps more noteworthy for our purposes (Bloodmoon Huntress):

Moonshadow form is only achieved when we understand the balance between life and death. Balance is weight against weight, and to understand the weight of death, you must feel the weight and value of another's life. Think of those you love, those you hold dear. Now think of the souls who have touched your life. Understand that each time your weapon meets its target, each time we fulfil our duty, the potential for that life to change—to love another—is gone. We may remove hate, but we remove the potential for love as well.

Now, we can see how both of these may overlap with each other later — Harrow had the appearance of someone who posed a risk to the world but no longer did, and the vengeance declared was for an egg that hadn't actually been killed — but we'll get more to the other implications in the following section.

For now, I want to focus on examining the other less 'metaphorical' meanings and look at some of the more literal associations we have with Moons in the text. As we all know, there's been a prevalent light-darkness motif running throughout each season of the show that's only gotten more affirmed — and more linked to Rayla and Callum's relationship — as the show has gone on. (If you want more details, check out this tag.) We see this first hand in 2x02 "Half Moon Lies" where Lujanne also counsels Rayla through some Moon arcanum wisdom about her relationship with Callum:

L: And it is the same with you. There are parts you keep hidden. Real trust is about accepting even the dark parts we will never know.

By resolving to tell Callum about his stepfather's death, Rayla chooses to show her whole face — a full moon, if you will — and it's not the last time truth is associated with light in opposition with darkness either ("I finally see the truth. I find myself here at these horrifying crossroads because I have followed a dark path"). We even see this in the way the framing at the Nexus changes compared to before Callum knows the truth with Claudia, and after when he knows the truth with Rayla, with Rayla being framed in the light. The truth may be ugly, and Harrow's death darkens Callum's life, but just like each girl's hair being white and black at this point, Callum ultimately chooses Rayla when it matters here the most.

It is likewise not surprising that Callum's understanding of the Moon arcanum ("After all, we can only truly know the appearance itself" "Now you're starting to sound like Lujanne") evolves alongside his understanding of Rayla, knowing better how/what she hides in S3 and what's actually going on.

Then season four comes in very heavy handed with making Rayla synonymous with the moon pretty blatantly in a way she hadn't previously been afforded. Just having Callum looking at the moon is meant to represent his love and longing for her, after all, and she's framed as the moon upon her return as well, literally moving from dark (moonshadow form) to light.

This is a sort of association we've only thus far had given to characters like Janai with the sun. And then they have the association drawn through dialogue, too, just in case the Most Obvious Framing Ever wasn't enough.

Okay, so Rayla is a Moonshadow elf who now has the moon as a potential stand-in for her. Shocking, I know. But put a pin in it as we have one other blatant Moon symbolism thing to discuss, and that's Runaan and Ethari.

Now, the moon itself isn't super prevalent for Runaan and Ethari, per se. They're far more associated with circles/cycles (their family, the pendant, the shape of the lotus pond), weapons, and hearts — their goodbye dialogue for example. We do see two heavy Moon associations for them, though, both of which that is particularly apt for today's meta:

It also worth noting, of course, that neither of these things are exclusive either to Ruthari in the text. The notion of "Guiding Moon" and Ruthari's partnership is a consistent parallel to Rayla and Callum's evolving bond, as well as Rayla giving Callum the necklace with the same sentiments that Ethari did upon giving one to both her and Runaan.

With all that symbolism and setup out of the way, let's get into the biggest speculative question we have to try and answer:

Why is it Moonless?

Now, what you might've noticed in all our symbolism and setup is one main commonality: the moon, while tethered to duality, is usually seen as a more positive symbol than not having a moon. Light, or the light side of the moon, is better than the dark side or it being nonexistent. We can already see undercurrents in this given Callum's arc surrounding darkness ("In darkness, gaze upon a fallen star"): light, or the moon, is a Good Thing—most of the time. If you want more discussion on why Light isn't solely good in the series, check out this meta here.

What I'm getting at here is that Moonless Night almost undoubtedly refers to some kind of dark turn or tragedy. The only question is what/which one, and for that, I have three main thoughts:

1) Luna Tenebris

Luna Tenebris was the Queen of the Dragons after Sol Regem was disposed and before Avizandum (+ Zubeia) took over. She was also queen when humans were expelled from Xadia (known as the Judgement of the Half Moon) and mysteriously vanished circa 4x04's flashbacks, leading to chaos:

However, Luna Tenebris' disappearance is far more associated with a red Blood moon which doesn't bode well for the connection between blood-dark-star magic, and is most obviously associated with the Bloodmoon Huntress, Kim'Dael, as she and her kin were hunted under Luna's reign. So I'm not positing that Luna's death for her personally was a moonless night.

But it might be for someone else, who's been forced to live without her, and who vanishes shortly after she does.

Luna Tenebris' presumably 'unsuitable heir' (maybe the wrong kind of archdragon? Arcanum-less?) bears a striking resemblance to the dragon we see Rayla approaching (attacking?) in the S6 clip from the video game trailer:

We know that he's in a snowy place and we also know thanks to released screencap titles that Callum and — more importantly per the screencap above — Rayla are in snowy place from 6x03 "The Frozen Sea" onwards to presumably 6x05 "Moonless Night" at least, given that I can't imagine they'd always be at the infamous Starscraper (6x04) for just an episode. If Luna's heir is not an obstacle in 6x03 on their way to the Starscraper, facing him could be something they have to do — perhaps he's a nuisance to the Celestial elves or holds something they need, like a glowing crystal — in 6x05, as he's the result of well, a Moonless Night.

This is probably the most abstract of the few we have and the most entrenched in Just Plot (at least phrased/pictured as the above). The other two subsequent theories are much more in vein with an episode focus and/or the title maybe having multiple meanings (the above as well as one of the other two we'll detail down below).

2) Moon Fam Release

I'm prepared to eat my words but honestly, "Moonless Night" doesn't fill me with a lot of confidence for it to be a Moon fam heavy episode—at least not in a happy way. For starters, like I said before, there's all the negative associations with being 'moonless'. Even Ethari's vow amounts to "Myself and my love is with you even when there is no light/goodness/hope in your life." That doesn't exactly feel like a reunion vibe given that Runaan being released from the coins is surely something he will ultimately feel positively about.

Ethari's vow to Runaan is going to be harder to uphold if Ethari isn't there for Runaan's release. If Ethari is Runaan's guiding moon and it's a moonless night, then it doesn't seem like Ethari's there. Of course, he could be. I've speculated for a while that 6x02 will feature Rayla and Callum dropping off the Shadowpaw and making a pit stop at the Silvergrove, giving us a chance to catch up with Ethari; perhaps he'll even come along and has been left out of the (admittedly few) screencaps we have of Rayllum approaching the Starscraper for marketing seasonal secrecy purposes.

Another long held theory though is that whatever Callum has to do to ultimately set Runaan (and everyone else) free from the coins will not end well though.

If Ethari is there in 6x05, that makes me think the Moon fam will get out around the halfway point of the episode, they'll have like one (1) very happy scene, and then almost immediately major shit is going to hit the fan that becomes the focus.

Another add on reason is that I think if Moon fam are released and reunited in S6, the plot reasons behind it are 1) to give Callum a motivation to potentially go 'too far' (too fast?) in his quest to release him, and 2) to have Runaan there to encourage Rayla to kill Callum if/when he gets possessed again. There are many other reasons to love Rayla's parents, there are many other reasons to want them around, but from a structural/plot standpoint of being side characters, I do think that's the purpose they're here to serve in s6, with probably having an expanded role in s7.

For example, if we follow along the line of "Moonless Night" being a release episode with the meaning being largely related to Runaan and Ethari > the main characters, that means it would have to be about either how much Runaan missed Ethari in the coin (which we don't need to see to understand the coin is terrible, we know that) or two, Ethari not being there and Runaan not listening to whatever Ethari would want him to do (maybe not being upset with Rayla or angry at Callum?).

I just can't see an episode like "Moonless Night" ending on a good note for anyone while still having the name of the episode be earned unless we entirely go flashback heavy (Aaravos, Rayla's travels or whatever) or the Luna Tenebris heir route.

With that caveat in mind, I want to talk about what is the most likeliest reason behind "Moonless":

3) Aaravos and Callum

As stated before, the character most accordingly associated with the moon is Rayla. This association has become even more literal into arc 1. I think it's the association next to the Luna Tenebris one that makes the most sense.

While I could perhaps see a flashback or expansion on how she felt during her time away featuring into S6, I would question the validity of doing it at a location like the Starscraper where there is so much feasibly else to focus on in a very unique and special location where we're primed to be meeting new characters (possibly friends and foes from the celestial elves), getting lore drops, and stuff focused on Callum and Rayla's present emotional journeys. Something like that would make more sense on the way to the Starscraper where we're just killing travel time, the same way the S2 flashbacks were reserved for the two episodes where the kids are just stuck on a boat, or in S3 on the way to the Storm Spire.

The other thing that's worth noting is the way that Rayla is framed as the Moon in opposition to Aaravos' darkness. Callum worries he's on a dark path and Rayla reminds him that he can choose to take another way. Callum is gazing 'in darkness' at a Fallen Star and Rayla shows up haloed in light to literally turn him away from it. Like in 2x02, she's seen as the more positive, light side of the moon. And we know without a doubt that she will be at the Starscraper alongside her human fella. We know from S2 and S5 that Callum will go to "dark places" in order to help/protect her.

There's a few different ways this could play out. Maybe Rayla goes off on an agreed upon mini-quest to fetch something from Luna Tenebris' nearby heir to help free her parents, leaving Callum worried and alone at the Starscraper, and he's possessed in the interim. Maybe, as noted in Option 2), he frees her parents at great detriment to himself. Maybe she's threatened because the Celestial elves aren't that friendly or serve Aaravos.

If Callum only 'succumbs' to Aaravos' possessive / coercive control — a moonless night is total darkness — then the removal of light would be a reasonable step on the path to getting there. Threatening or fearing the loss of that light ("But the second you see that elf girl in pain, you completely lost yourself") in order to make it disappear, to let a "dark path" overtake Callum? It'd be a tragedy. It'd be moonless — and it would plunge Rayla's life into darkness as well, fearing that she might have to become the assassin both Runaan — as she carries his bow — and Callum — heart vs duty — have asked her to be.

Conclusion

Like I said, I think there are ways to overlap. Both Option #1 and Option #3 could be paired together if the heir puts Rayla at risk in her journey, or Option #2 and Option #3 if freeing the Moon Fam with all the coins' deep blood magic indicators are taken to the forefront (aka the symbol on the coins matching the symbol on Aaravos' book). It could be none of these things.

If 6x06 is indeed "Moment of Truth" as has been speculated, I'll assume de facto that 6x05 ends with Callum being possessed again (although again, the circumstances that lead to said event could take many paths) in order to nudge Rayla's arc ahead (whether Runaan is literally there or not, though I would probably lean towards yes and Option #2 for 6x05). It'll just be go go go plot and drama wise — and no matter what, I can't wait for it.

[adachimoe]

A long and meandering post about Adachi and the Investigation Team

I have no idea what to title or describe this as. This is a long ass rambling 2.5k+ word post that consists of like 5 drafts I had sitting around that all felt somewhat related. It starts with the part where the Investigation Team tells Adachi to get over himself, then devolves into talking about Adachi punching himself in the face repeatedly (metaphorically), before ending by exploring the idea of Adachi as the Investigation Team's collective Shadow. it rly is tl;dr.

Adachi will remember that

At one point in Magatsu Inaba, the Investigation Team takes turns responding to Adachi in verbal turn-based combat. They all have varying responses and levels of understanding of him.

Chie doesn't understand why Adachi even became a cop, Rise thinks he's full of shit, Kanji tells him a 2008 version of "go kys" (tbf, he's never been eloquent with words), Yukiko tells Adachi that he sounds like a kid, Naoto calls him out for finding life annoying while being a damn annoyance, and Yosuke tells him he's just a criminal.

What Yukiko says to him in particular appears to sting Adachi, evident by how he "!" emotes in reaction to her. Or idk maybe he's secretly into getting bullied by women. I think Yukiko has Adachi's number here, and he knows that. After all, part of his schtick is that, "Oh, you stupid fuckin' kids, you don't know what I've been through or how I feel! Get off my dungeon lawn!!!" And yet, one of those stupid kids is able to tl;dr his life. He later even repeats what she said back at Sho during P4U2.

What Yukiko says here, I think, stands out in particular not just because of Adachi's reaction but also because it resembles a sentiment found in other media: The contradiction of being alive while not "truly" being alive. This often goes like so: A character can be alive in that they are most certainly physically living and breathing, but they are largely closed off from the rest of the world and going through the motions. Thus they are said to not truly be alive.

In the context of Persona 4, I believe Adachi fits in with this trope. As Yukiko has assessed, life sucks, but it's not like he's in any hurry to die. From what we see of Adachi in the plot, he's going through the motions. He wakes up, goes to his job, goes to Junes to bum free air conditioning, and sometimes gets dragged over to Dojima's house.

I don't think it's bad that people fall into these routines by default. Some find them comforting, some appreciate the simplicity, and some make up for the monotony of adult life with the more fascinating things they do outside of work.

But this doesn't apply to Adachi, who openly groans about his life and job. He seems to want to live and fit in with society, but he wants to do with more than what he has right now, yet he also seems unwilling or unable to put in the effort to get what he wants. He tells us he's lonely and wants a girlfriend, but when the old woman from his Social Link tries to hook him up with a girl, he finds it all annoying. He thinks of himself as an elite detective who is above Inaba, but he is regularly made out to be incompetent, sloppy, and careless.

It's like he's stuck but not doing anything to become unstuck. Following the tropes, Adachi would move from being a character who is "alive without really being alive" to "Truly Living" once he figures out how to get himself un-stuck. If he truly wants to be a hotshot detective in the big city with a smokin' hot wife, then something needs to change because he won't get those things as he is now. But how does Adachi approach the subject of "change"?

Maybe the world really is just a shitshow?

Adachi being exposed as the murderer is a major turning point for the murder investigation. And after the Investigation Team chases him into the TV, one of the many things he talks about is "change", or rather a lack of change.

As far as Adachi is concerned, the world can't / won't / doesn't change. He criticizes the world and its inability to change, how society works, and how people will latch to whatever you tell them as the truth.

Some things he says might resonate with us, especially nowadays with the spread of social media and misinformation. However, despite these criticisms, it sounds like he still desires to be part of society. He has been trying to blend in as a normal guy since April despite being a murderer. I think it's worth reiterating that his complaints about his life weren't anarchist but more like, "I don't have a cute girlfriend who cooks for me." Furthermore, he was trying to take advantage of misinformation to get away with murder by pinning it on Namatame.

Adachi doesn't like the current world and doesn't think it will change. Thus, he is forcing it to change in a completely catastrophic way. He really is throwing a tantrum: Like, what, you can't get away with murder? All right, throw the whole world away. With this approach, it is not Adachi who must change to fit in with the world, but rather the world that must change to fit Adachi.

Change isn't a good subject with him, which, honestly, is relatable. Change is easier said than done. Even within Persona 4 itself, after getting Magical TV Powers, an event that feasibly might add spice to one's life!!, the same old routine still runs Adachi's life. What has changed is that he's now waiting for Namatame to kill someone. Showing up looking for a dead body in the shopping district is simply a new part of his routine.

This topic of Adachi and change gets wrapped up after the fight against Amenosagiri. Adachi challenges the Investigation Team: >>>If<<< they think they have the power to change the future, then do it.

After entering the TV World, Amenosagiri responds to Adachi's wish and makes his wish come true as the dungeon deadline bad ending shows. That was Adachi's own so-called power to change the future. So what is the Investigation Team's?

Yosuke then replies that everyone has the power to change their future. As in, you don't need special powers from a gigantic disco eyeball inside of a TV to do that. In context, Yosuke is telling Adachi, "This is a 'you' problem," or "Skill issue." And tbh, I think Yosuke is more or less correct here.

In which we revisit the topic of "dumbass" and effort

In some ways, this topic might seem odd to approach. Everyone on the Investigation Team - besides Chie - seems to have a better life situation than Adachi had when he was their age. Are they punching down? Perhaps it feels like a hollow reflection of the collectivist culture that the solution to these antagonists who go "BUT SOCIETY IS WHAT IS WRONG" is always to beat them up and force them to conform--

…..but hold on. That line of thought would be giving in to what Adachi says before his boss battle. And, based on how he quits talking about how "waaah society is unfair" afterward, I find it difficult to think that is what he genuinely believes about his situation.

When I suggest that Yosuke is correct, I don't mean this in a "You aren't special, Adachi, everyone else's life sucks too, just deal with it" kind of way. What I have in mind is how the game seems to support that this is an Adachi problem, not an everyone else problem. Throughout Adachi's Social Link, his other interactions, and what Atlus has said as meta / Word of God answers, you get the idea that people were trying with Adachi, but he wasn't meeting them halfway.

For example:

This entire post is about the effort the MC puts in just to get called a dumbass (though I'd bet that the protag considers Adachi calling him a dumbass to be like a Badge of Honor). Even their gay ass Fever Time in P4D tells the story of Yu trying to reach out and Adachi going, "No!!!"

The old woman in his Social Link is trying to wingwoman for him and hook him up with women in Inaba, but Adachi seems unwilling. Instead, he tells Nanako and the protagonist that he's never getting married. Despite his loneliness, he justifies himself by saying, "Marriage is the graveyard of a man's life."

The Dojima family and Adachi interact briefly throughout the game, both in the story scenes and in his Social Link. As his letter at the end of the game shows, Adachi felt lukewarm about their interactions because he wasn't quite aware of what he had with them until he no longer has their company.

The way I see it, when Adachi rants about the world not changing, he is not actually bitching about the world. Rather, this feels more like a form of projection. He says the world doesn't change, but perhaps he is talking about himself and his own inability to change. Which would reframe it as more like… He knows he's the issue that holds himself back - his own worst enemy, perhaps - but he says the world is wrong to justify himself.

You learn a bit about Adachi through his Social Link. During rank 6, in dialogue that can tragically be missed, Adachi will admit that he is lonely, but he also thinks it's easier that way. And really, easier is just another way of saying "less effort".

On one hand, this might show Adachi's annoyance with other people. But at the same time, for him to call the protagonist a dumbass for investing so much in him and their relationship, I think the unspoken bit here is that Adachi does not think he is worth the time or effort, to begin with. His lack of effort isn't just him being annoyed with people or not giving a shit about things. I'm no expert, but I think the majority of us would wager that this is depression.

As the game's timeline unfolds, we really only know Adachi as the pathetic, silly murder guy. Did he start distancing himself from people because of the "oops, I murdered someone" part? Or was he like this even before then? When he talks more about his past, he doesn't go into a great amount of detail.

Going with my gut here, but I get the feeling that Adachi's obsession with Mayumi - something from before he became a murderer - suggests his distance from people is not a new thing for him. Consider: Meeting people? Forming relationships? Even before we talk about romance, how the hell do you even make friends as an adult? (The answer is BL btw. Go find some girlies who ship the same pairing.) I think Adachi said fuck it to all that bullshit. It'd be easier - less effort - for him to just be alone.

But… What if the magical TV just tells you exactly who your soulmate is? Well, shit, that's easy. For the lonely guy who just got transferred to Inaba and generally keeps his distance from people, I imagine it would be quite convenient to just be told, "This is who your soulmate is".

And that wouldn't be the last time Adachi gets a freebie from the TV. It happens again in December, as Adachi finds an again "easy" solution that does not involve changing himself or doing something annoying that requires effort from him. Having been enabled by the magical TV, Adachi is something of a static character.

Adachi is the Investigation Team's Shadow

In the P4G Premium Fan/Fun/Fsomething book, Atlus defines the Shadow by the Jungian definition, then talks about how the Shadows in-game represent "alternate possibilities" for the characters. The specific example it gives is how Chie's Shadow holds a great deal of animosity towards Yukiko. The real Chie doesn't feel this way towards Yukiko; in fact, she treasures her. Thus, Chie's Shadow is an alternate possibility.

When you look at Chie and what she says about accepting her Shadow, her Shadow seems to be born from a real insecurity (her jealousy of Yukiko) and part of it really does resemble Chie. But part of her Shadow is also this… caricature-esque thing. Hence why Atlus calls it the "alternate possibility". In turn, Chie accepts that she is jealous of Yukiko, but she does not accept the Banana Hat Dominatrix trying to exert control over Yukiko. She even realizes that rather than Yukiko needing her, it was actually her who needed Yukiko.

(I refuse to carry on with this train of thought further than talking about Atlus's own example with Chie because it would inevitably mean having to talk about how Atlus sees Kanji and Naoto's issues/Shadows/dungeons, and I'd need like bottles of wine to get in the mood to even type a paragraph of that.)

During her P4G winter Social Link scene, where her Persona evolves, Chie brings up Adachi and how she could have become him. She continues that anyone could have turned out like him.

Indeed, Adachi very much feels like a, "this could happen to anyone" character. He is an everyday normal guy who accidentally gets involved in something beyond him: a Like a Dragon side story NPC stuck in a game about high schoolers and friendship. Based on how you see these characters, you can correlate many of their issues to Adachi's own issues.

Really, in some ways, he feels like he was written to be the sum of the Investigation Team's insecurities, all bundled into one guy. As Chie's Shadow twisted her jealousy of Yukiko into a desire to control Yukiko and showed an alternate possibility for who Chie could have become if she had let jealousy consume her, perhaps Adachi shows an alternate possibility for who all of them could become.

As Amenosagiri later reveals, the truth torments the Shadows. Your party identifies that is what causes the Shadows to attack people.

When we consider how the game has gone until now, then those moments where the Investigation Team told their Shadows, "You're not me!" must be the moment that Amenosagiri was describing. The members of the Investigation Team come face to face with a being who claims to be them and seems aware of the same issues that gnaw at them. But these beings pervert their issues issues in a direction that doesn't reflect who the Investigation Team really are. And so they challenge that this being is truly them. They, sigh, "reach out to the truth", and it causes their Shadows to go nutso and attack.

And, of course, these repeated scenes where they tell their Shadows all lead up to the last time we see this kind of sequence...

Just as the Investigation Team had to face themselves and pick apart the truths from the caricature, they, too, come to face Adachi and can cut through the bullshit, rejecting his attempts to justify why it's okay for him to merge the TV World into reality and screw everyone over.

That said, though, if we are to compare him to their Shadows, then we must acknowledge that, much like how the Investigation Team's Shadows come from their own real insecurities, Adachi's frustrations with the Investigation Team and with the world at large must also come from something real.

On this screenshotted line in particular, he even uses the more masculine "ore" as his pronoun in Japanese. He usually uses the more boyish "boku", but he seems to swap to "ore" to indicate that he is speaking quite genuinely--or perhaps speaking from the heart.

While he is a whiny murderer throwing an apocalyptic tantrum, I'm sure there are circumstances that made him the person that he is as an adult. Tbh, I've already made a lot of posts talking about the factors that might have contributed to *why* he feels like this, so I won't drag this out further.

By Arena Ultimax, Adachi has come to accept the murder case as the inciting incident that causes him to change as he finds himself finally owning up to his actions from the previous year. He's no role model lol, but life now has more meaning to him than just something you go through every day. Perhaps it's at this moment that he can be said to have gone from merely being alive to living.

(Let's be real tho, jail gives you 3 non-cup noodle meals per day? Damn. It's like he's living his best life. Speaking of which, food feels like such a fitting metaphor for his emotional nourishment.)

In the aftermath of the dungeon and the almost-end-of-the-world, Adachi agreed to start playing by the rules, and became more of a dynamic character. At the beginning of Ultimax, Adachi's commitment to this gets questioned as Yu, Yosuke, and Chie find him allied with Sho (like 5 cutscenes after Yu is so confidant he's behaving himself too, tsk tsk). But Yu reaches the roof, hears Adachi's cringe ass dialogue (I'm pretty sure that Adachi would not have said half that shit if he had known Yu was standing around the corner), and reaffirms his belief that Adachi was genuine about his promise to play by the rules.

The Investigation Team are not on the best of terms with Adachi. Regardless, they went into his dungeon, called him out on his bullshit that had been mixed in with his own real shortcomings and insecurities, punched him, and as we can tell by Ultimax, came to accept him in their own ways as they did their individual Shadows. As Yu says, perhaps they have strangely enough decided to trust in Adachi.

[haedalkoo]

I was curious about same thing and I ended up in quora once.. and this is what I found about their speech pattern from Korean speaking or K-army , basically what you mentioned already : (I'm copy pasting)

This is an overview of what I noticed about the boys' speaking habits :

🌳 Namjoon :

• He chooses words very carefully and wisely, wide range of vocabulary, always impresses people with how eloquently he speaks.

He uses lots of advanced vocabulary, always finishes his sentences with great details. He has a way of mixing metaphors with his spoken Korean vocabulary.

• If you see something that looks like it’s quoted from a poem or a novel, it’s Namjoon's

• Uses calm tone when speaking in normal circumstances, but tends to raise and distort his voice when under adrenaline rush (eg. bts gayo track 3, acting mission with Yoongi )

🍗 Seokjin :

• Varying talking speed, he can either talk really slowly or talk so fast that even 0.5x speed can’t help decipher what he’s saying.

he sounds like and old guy most of the time and his way of speaking is very “exaggerated” like he puts a lot of emotions when he speaks i believe

• Focuses on emotions rather than words, so middle-ranged vocabulary.

• Come across some lame puns? it’s Seokjjn's

• But tbh i love his puns even though sometimes it’s really lame that i have to consider turning off the video

• imo, 2nd best english speaker in BTS, after Namjoon

• Also i love how seokjin pronounce the ㅅ and ㅂ syllables

🐱 Yoongi :

• Imagine Namjoon but with less philosophical elements and more emotional explosion.

• Not the easiest to understand due to his low and raspy voice. He mumbles a lot of what he says which can be due to him being a rapper. Most of the time it’s like his words are sticking together and talks fast (kind of like he doesn’t articulate most of the time and speaks fast normally). Therefore most of the time it’s not easy to catch up onto what his saying

• Usually stretches the ㅔ(e) in 네 ( nae ) like instead of a short 네 (nae : yes )he would make it sound like 네에에에에 ( yeahhh ) ↘

• Kind of keeps his original 'Daegu-style' speech (but not the up-and-down nature of satoori sounds)

🌻 Hoseok :

• Uses 되게 (really) and 뭔가 (somewhat) A LOT

• Likes to insert 네 ( yeah ) in mid sentence, he uses a lot of what I call “filling words” like 되게 (like) 진짜 (really) 많이 (lot ?) I believe that he uses these words the same way V uses actions to describe situations

• How should i describe his tone? it varies 100% of times, speaks with a lot of energy in his voice.

• Has a distinctive way of pronouncing ‘fun’

• In short, the opposite polar of yoongi

🐯 Taehyung :

• Doesn't finish his sentences, and often stares into the air after stopping midway. I noticed that he’s always using actions instead of words. I’ll say that he “lacks” the most in that aspect because some of the time what he says doesn’t make sense.

• Uses adverbs like 약간, 조금, 진짜 separately and repeatedly, has the habit of saying adverbs first, then continue with his sentences and repeat those adverbs again

• Splits one straight sentence into short phrases

• Uses ‘like this’ and demonstrates with actions instead of describing the actions with words

• Tents to use slangs, but not a lot as far as i can remember.

👼 Jimin :

• Soft and sweet, a very feminine like tone. Very soft spoken and he has a very comforting voice. His words/ vocabulary have the most feminine speech pattern compared to the other members

• Always talks to armys as if he’s with his friends, when doing a v app broadcast alone, he talks informally like how friends talk to each other, but when sending messages or some other ‘official’ occasions, Jimin talks formally

• Jimin is the one with a slight lisp to me, i've always noticed that he has this funny little tongue/teeth sound when he's saying things that end in an "s" or "ㅅ" sound sometimes

🐰 Jungkook :

• Jungkook is like 30% satoori and 70% dialect. Usually men speaking with Busan dialect makes them sound hot and more masculine to Koreans.. Honestly, this is fascinating — he seems to be especially adept at mimicking sounds and patterns, so the fact that he chooses to hang on to his Busan accent even though I bet he could very easily adopt the Seoul accent... interesting !

• Raises voice at certain random words when he's excited, kinda talks through his teeth

JK is not the best speaker in BTS but he sounds well spoken most of the time. He’s just not as polished as other members, like Jin or Jimin, and tends to stutter (rarely though).

Yes to all of this!! Namjoon is a walking poem guys I'm so down bad for him 😣

[romanticizingmurder]

One of the things that comes up a lot in meta on the vampire chronicles is trying to delineate between "this is being treated as a kink fantasy", "this is fictional trauma beinf sexualized", and "this is being treated like real trauma would be" and I think the interesting and almost unique to itself aspect of TVC is that...it's almost always all of the above.

I've been thinking about David and Lestat's respective turnings lately and what strikes me about both is how they don't really neatly line up into "portrayal of horrific trauma", "rape fantasy", or even "cnc fantasy" (hear me out, we'll get there), but are an uneasy mixture of all of them at the same time.

Disclaimer: I am going to be talking about rape in a fictional story both as a traumatic violence and as a fantasy. I am coming at this from the point of view of someone who enjoys kinks, including nonconsent in fiction, and who is a real life survivor.

Using David's turning because most of the discussion around it is neatly in the same one or two places, we see it treated as all of these things in turn.

Lestat undeniably rapes David. That is not only the implication from blood drinking as a metaphor for sexual desire, but explicitly the language used:

There are scenes of genuine anguish after the assault:

At the same time, the scene is, at least in my opinion, pretty sexualized! We linger in descriptions of David's body, of Lestat's pleasure in this monstrous deed.

And if this was all there was to it, I'd feel pretty comfortable putting this (and the many situations which mirror it in TVC) as a dead dove sort of situation. It's erotic horror, and this is both erotic and horrifying. What else did you expect?

And yet.

Let me make a relevant digression:

Up until 2012, when new research started coming out, the most popular theory for why rape fantasies are so prevalent among women was something called sexual blame avoidance. The idea being that women's sexuality and desires are so shamed by society as a whole that fantasies wherein they are forced allow them a guiltless way of experiencing desire.

This actually appears to not be the case for most people with these fantasies, but it certainly still is for many, and, possibly more relevantly: when these books were written, this would have been The theory on rape fantasies. That rape fantasies are a manifestation of desires that one feels ashamed of, so the fantasy of being forced removes one's agency and thus blame.

And here is David, having been raped by Lestat, saying he really did want it, he just couldn't allow himself to want it.

David had a desire he felt shame for desiring, and Lestat took away that shame by forcibly acting upon it.

It's easy to read this as simply rape apologism, and I can't stop anyone from reading it that way. And I don't and can't really know what Anne was thinking in this or in any number of other scenes that encompass erotica and horror and the comfort of fantasy all at once.

All I can do is say that the first thing I thought of when reading David's speech was how it felt directly lifted from any number of conversations I've had with other survivors on the appeal of cnc scenes. All I know is how I felt reading this and any number of other scenes in this series, which was: oh, finally someone understands what the fantasy is about.

But I think what trips people with that is that these stories aren't "just" short or erotica without weight. These are long stories with character development and emotional weight and real explorations of trauma. And I don't think that's inaccurate! I think they are that. I think these are, at least to me, also long explorations of kink fantasies and how the dynamics of those fantasies, removed from the need for consent and risk awareness of the real world.

Lestat can rape David and it can be something traumatic, something erotic, and something he ended up believing he wanted, because it's not one or the other in this universe. It can be an exporation of cycles of trauma, erotic horror, and long form kink fantasies written with real emotion, all at once. We don't have to choose just one - and I don't think Anne did, either.

[ratinayellowbandana]

Hi! Number six of the drabble prompt list, and if I may suggest, with a sad jealous Laudna.

hi! I'm sorry this one took a few days. I um. got a little carried away with it again. these were only supposed to be like 500-word prompt fills, and this is uh, slightly more than that. so I hope that's ok.

for those who don't want to find the prompt, it was: "You just didn't look for me." naturally I went ep 64 with a healthy splash of canon divergence, some good old-fashioned hurt/comfort, and pate as a thinly veiled metaphor.

length: 2k

~~~

Laudna whirls on her, snaps, “We looked for you. And the others. Every fucking day.” She holds Imogen’s gaze, holds her piercing stare until Imogen tilts her head. “You just didn’t look for me,” she whispers. 

Imogen steps forward, quiet but insistent. “No, sweetheart, no, we did. I did. Every day.” She does not reach out, afraid, not of Laudna–never of Laudna–but of herself. Of what she might do if given the chance at the wrong time. Her heart pounds an unsteady rhythm.

“I want to believe you,” Laudna says. She toys with the brass ring on her left hand, twisting it around her finger anxiously, twin snakes coiling. “I do, truly, it’s just…” 

Imogen studies her, searching for answers in a frame both foreign and familiar. Laudna is pale and gaunt, cheeks drawn in, though that’s hardly unusual. Her stringy dark hair lacks luster in the eerie light of the red moon, crispy and clumped together in places by something Imogen can’t identify. Cast in the long shadows between buildings, Laudna is on edge, ready to claw and screech and lash out with those wicked talons if provoked. She is wild, and she is beautiful, and she is frightened.  

“I understand,” Imogen speaks slowly, gently, distinctly aware of each word’s weight. 

The others are still in the inn, consorting in the tavern. The Hells and their new friends, chatting, laughing, and drinking the night away, simply happy to be home. Introductions were made, and tales of grandeur waited to be spun. 

Laudna had been unnervingly quiet after the initial elation wore off. Her hands remained folded in her lap or picked intently at the skin around her nails. Pâté’s silence was even more concerning. He had been coaxed out of hiding in Laudna’s hair with the promise of scratches and nudged his beak into her wrist until she began stroking his greasy fur. 

She spoke when spoken to, adjusting in her seat and responding eagerly when prompted. The moment the attention shifted, though, her forced smile would drop. Every so often, she sent a furtive glance in Imogen’s direction as if to ensure she was still there, then looked away just as quickly. Exhaustion crept at the corners of her eyes, and her gaze would fall to her lap whenever the conversation turned to the adventures in Wildemount. 

The group from Issylra hadn’t said much about their travels, but Imogen gathered their transplantation had not been as, ah, pleasant wasn’t quite the right word. Illustrious, maybe, Imogen considered, fussing with a seam on her new dress. Laudna’s blouse was tattered and stained with a thick substance that did not match her ichor’s usual viscosity. 

Laudna had stood abruptly, muttering something about air, and disappeared outside. After making puzzled eye contact with Ashton, who tossed his head at the door and sighed heavily, Imogen followed her. 

She had found Laudna around the corner, curled into herself against the wall of the Spire by Fire. A feral thing, hardened and reshaped by whatever circumstances found her while they were apart. 

She has not calmed yet, and Imogen is reluctant to curb the swell of emotion that has Laudna dangling by a thread. She is tangled in it, ensnared in a knotted web, and Imogen is unsure how to extricate her. She is all jagged pieces and raw edges, a tempest of fury and loss that Imogen cannot rely on her mental connection to unravel. Laudna is something of a mystery to her now in a way she has never been, and it’s all Imogen can do to not toss her circlet to the winds. 

Instead, she waits. 

Laudna is muttering to herself, tugging at her clothes. Pâté flaps about her head, wings of sinew and bone making an abominably wet sound Imogen hadn’t realized she’d missed. The tip of one wing tangles in Laudna’s hair, and she swats at him irritably, sending him tumbling through the air until he manages to right himself. Imogen extends a hand, and he flies to her, settling in her palm on his hindquarters. He gives a disgruntled shake, and his wings squelch back into his body, tail coming to rest around his paws. He peers up at Imogen, then looks back to Laudna.  

“I tried,” he croaks in that gravelly way of his, and Imogen strokes his disgusting little head with one finger. 

“I know,” she assures gently. He could be referring to any number of moments across a lifetime, a few weeks, mere seconds ago. She sets him on her shoulder and feels pinprick claws pierce the fabric of her dress for stability. Crass and wretched as he is, Imogen can’t find it in herself to hate him. He is an extension of his maker, creepy and ungainly and off-putting, so Imogen must love him a tiny bit. She scratches under his chin, ignores the feeling of magic-touched bone, murmurs, “Thank you for keepin’ her safe.”

“Boss didn’t have the best of times without you.” He pipes up, a little rueful, in a manner Imogen assumes is meant to be quiet. Laudna, only a few feet away, catches it.

“Pâté,” she snarls. He squeaks and tucks himself into Imogen’s collar. 

“He’s just confirming what I had already guessed,” Imogen defends, an attempt at lightness that doesn’t quite land. “It’s not his fault you haven’t told me anything.” 

“He ought to have stayed in my head. Then he might leave well enough alone,” Launda warns. 

“You don’t mean that,” Imogen counters calmly. 

Laudna spits, “He should have stayed dead.”

“Hey.” 

She huffs a sardonic, dry laugh. “Not everyone deserves second chances.” 

Imogen inhales sharply.

There it is. 

“Laudna…” She softens. She cups Pâté protectively. His fur oddly damp against her skin. She takes a cautious step forward. 

The pieces begin slotting into place, building the frame for a jarring picture of something severe enough to reopen this old wound. 

The fight sapped from her limbs, Laudna slides her back down the wall until she sits in the filth and dirt of the alleyway with her knees drawn close to her chest. Imogen winces as rough stone drags across jutting bone and paper-thin skin. 

“Are you… Do you want to be alone?” She asks–because what else can she do?– and half-fears the answer. 

Laudna’s head jerks up, and something Imogen can’t decipher flashes in her eyes. After a moment, her head shakes minutely, and Imogen lets out a relieved sigh. 

Tense silence leaches from the pores of the building’s rocky exterior.  

“We tried to find you all. Every day. We didn’t–we didn’t know where we were. Where anyone was, and–” Laudna breathes at last. “Orym was… was angry. Vengeful. And Ashton…. He was our friend.”

“Ashton?”

“I hurt him,” Laudna continues as if Imogen hadn’t spoken at all.

“Hurt who?” 

She shudders. “I killed him, not Prism.” Inky tears well from eyes pressed shut. Her voice is impossibly soft, hollow, seeming to ask, Do you hate me yet?

The narrative is convoluted at best. Imogen fruitlessly attempts to splice together the fragments of memory slipping through Laudna’s teeth like snowflakes, to arrange them into a cohesive whole among the scraps she gathered at the table. The Issylra group returned rattled, apprehensive and tense, but this is deeper. Laudna is shaken. 

“Wasn’t he a member of the Ruby Vanguard?” 

“He was confused, just like the rest of us. Angry at the gods.” Laudna’s eyes flicker to the glowing red moon. Her fist, clenched in her hair, tightens. “And I killed him.” 

Imogen steps closer. “We’ve all killed people.”

Laudna shakes her head. Her voice hardens once more. “I don’t begrudge you the shopping or fraternizing with royalty or, or whatever else it was,” she says lowly, “But we didn’t have that. We didn’t save a toy store or home-cooked breakfasts. We spent every moment fighting to get back to you. And now,” she swallows, “we must reckon with the cost.” 

She is utterly exhausted; Imogen can see in the dim light. Although bone-weary and at her wits’ end, Laudna’s elegant cheekbones curl with shadows that twist and hide in her skirts. Hunched and fearful as she is, Laudna is still hauntingly beautiful. Something warms in Imogen’s chest. 

“You did what you had to do to survive,” she says, “No one can fault you for that.” 

“I’m sorry.” Laudna’s voice breaks, fracturing in tandem with Imogen’s heart, and she sobs. “I’m sorry.”

“No, Laud, no–” Imogen crouches next to her, yearning to touch, to take Laudna in her arms and bite and hiss and growl at anyone who dares approach. She restrains herself, carefully plucking Pâté from her shoulder and setting him on the ground between them. He turns to her skeptically as if to say, Really? After what she said? Imogen nudges him in Laudna’s direction. He sniffs, beak in the air, and ruffles his fur before bounding to Laudna’s ankles and putting his weird, cold little dead rat toes against her shin. She ignores the pawing fragment of her soul, ashamed. 

“I’m sorry,” Laudna mutters, “I must seem…I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for.” 

Laudna begins incredulously, “I–”

“You survived,” Imogen reiterates, “against gods and people powerful enough to destroy them.” She sighs, “I sent you a message every day, you know? Sometimes more than once, if I’m honest, ‘till my nose bled and Deanna had to patch me up.” Imogen offers a half-smile. “All I got was static. I just had to hope you were out there, somewhere, lookin’ for me, too.” 

Laudna looks as if she might melt into herself, refusing to look at Imogen. Her shoulders shake, and she confesses with a gasp, “She’s back. I brought her back.” 

Imogen’s blood chills, but her tone remains neutral. “Who, Laud?” 

At last, Laudna meets her gaze, eyes wide and wet and horror-struck. “Delilah.”

The name hangs between them like a stone ready to drop and shatter and bury itself into their flesh. Searing rage erupts in Imogen’s veins. 

“I’m sorry,” Laudna shrinks back, “I’m so sorry. To all of you. You all gave so much to–to find me. And–”

“It’s not your fault,” Imogen interjects.

“–and I wasn’t…I was weak. I lost control.” 

“Laudna,” Imogen cuts her off with the steely calm of a thunderstorm on the horizon. She cannot afford to process this now, not when Laudna is trembling in an alley. Not when Laudna, unmoored and terrified, needs her to be an anchor. No, Imogen will save her questions and unfiltered anger, for another time. A time when Laudna is safe and warm and at no risk of coming unraveled in her hands. When Laudna is in a place to know Imogen’s wrath is not, could never be, directed at her.

“Laudna,” Imogen repeats, because she cannot bear the thought of her not understanding, “this is not your fault. None of this.” She does reach out, then, offering a lifeline should Laudna choose to accept it. She does, hesitantly, as if waiting for Imogen to recoil. Her fingers are cool, bird-light against Imogen’s red-scarred palm. Laudna seems to notice at the same time.

“Imogen,” she exclaims, words still tear-tinged and quivering, “your hands. They’re–are you alright?”

“Oh, they–they don’t hurt, usually. Promise. I’m fine.”

“I should have–I’m sorry, I suppose I was–”

“Laudna,” Imogen interrupts again, not unkindly, “please.” 

It’s then that Laudna seems to notice Pâté clawing his way up her skirt. She scoops him up and holds him to her, murmuring apologies into his fur.

“‘S’okay, boss,” he rasps, squished against his maker’s chest, “I can’t hold a grudge.”

They sit like that, hand-in-hand, hand-on-rat, until the easy stroke of Imogen’s thumb against Laudna’s has smoothed out the worst of the jagged edges. Until the tension falls from Laudna’s spine and she relaxes into Imogen’s touch. 

“The others are surely wondering where we’ve gone.”

Imogen shrugs, snorts, “There’re so many people at that table I think they’d hardly notice two missing.”

“Still,” Laudna says, “we ought to get back.”

“Do you want to?” It’s her choice. It always will be if Imogen can help it.

Laudna considers. “I think I’d rather like to hear the end of Chetney’s story from the Savalirwood.”

“Oh gods,” Imogen groans, flushing at the memory, “no, you don’t.” 

“Fearne and Deanna, hm?” 

“Best to let them tell it.”

[penofwildfire]

Listened to the voice notes and watched the stories (I'm gonna watch the shorts themselves later) so just some things I noticed, spoilers under the cut

-Wyldfyre mentions that Lloyd advised her to send the voice notes. I highly doubt he's dealing with losing Kai much better than she is, but I do wonder if sending voice notes to his friends was something he did after the Merge, when he was alone all the time

-When complaining about how no one else at the Monastery understands how she feels, she mentions Zane saying something about turning down emotion circuits. Clearly he's not doing very well either if that's what he's suggesting

-Dragon Culture lore!!!! Fire dragons host massive family gatherings in the Wildness! That's so cool!!

-WYLDFYRE'S THE NEW RED NINJA. I guess that was implied by the fact that she's wearing red in the next half season, but I didn't think she was literally going to take up the mantle, I assumed it was more a metaphorical thing (nearly started crying when she announced it ngl 🥲)

-It's completely confirmed that Dragon is it's own unique language that can be taught, learned by non-dragons, and Sora apparently has been developing a translator!

-Wyldfyre can draw pretty damn well. Got a lot of practice from drawing funny faces on important monuments I assume

anyway those were my main takeaways, I'll do another post when I watch the shorts

[esterzach]

On The Bond thingy....

I rewatched the scene with Ihvon today. Somehow I missed it the first time. Simple, slow, on point. And oh, so wrong of him. Almost poetically. Apparently, Ihvon thinks they are not supposed to be equal. He laughs at Lan and his offense to Moiraine's words. Without even considering the possibility that someone like the great mighty Aes Sedai could consider a mere mortal man an equal. Ihvon is definitely the more likable character for me, but somehow Maksim turns out to be closer with his ideas on relationships. Even the basic understanding is that no two marriages are the same, just as people are different. As if by accident he was correct. Yet, they have no idea. Who knows what they think of Lan and Moiraine as a couple - Aes Sedai and a Warder? That probably falls somewhere along the lines of "Poor Lan with this stuck-up, cold, emotionless, bitter bitch. He must be in hell." With little understanding of Moiraine as a person, let alone her mission and their relationship. A common goal, mission more important than their life or anything else, personal sacrifice. And Moiraine's (normally) gentle attitude toward Lan when they are alone, their little moments, a bubble no one can get into. The shared looks and half smile, and that deep understanding. Also the contrast here between Lan and Maksim's "I don't want anyone else in my head and Alanna doesn't like the company..." is brutal. That's a lack of trust, of willingness to carry the burden of someone else's emotions because they are too much and let someone else be too close. Only the good parts. Did you think we would be fighting a war against an army of kittens? Well.. no, but... yes? Essentially he is an enhanced soldier and a glorified sex toy? For the rest - welp you are on your own. Then again I imagine what is the emotional range of Alanna - hungry, horny, scared, horny... What she wants - The Light to triumph over the Shaddow and a dessert after. And that attitude of her Warder - we see their weakness, we remind them that they are not gods, yet... he seems to almost think that of them. There is something disturbing in this idea that there is no way a normal person, let alone a man can be equal to a woman with special skills. The thought that they might think highly of a simple man never even occurs to them... And this power even though it needs work to be harnessed and efforts to be honed, is just an accident, a random natural mutation, with no rhyme or reason. Like green eyes. Do these people worship an accidental whim of nature? This removes the importance of other traits of character and makes people like Liandrin and Moiraine, the same. Lan was angry at Moiraine because she masked the Bond even when he knew what she was up to and that she was safe. He was willing to share even those moments. He feels uncomfortable even for several hours, let alone months. He misses her. He misses her presence in his head. She has become a part of him. And after such a long time without her, he asks her to let him back in. There is something else in this episode that hits hard. Alanna explains to Lan how Moiraine was a different person before. Something happened, and after that, she changed. Drastically. "The way water becomes ice. You look at it and wonder how it was ever water before." Ouch. That metaphor is beautiful and the whole line carries such a weight. It suits Alanna to say something poetic like this and it seems to be the perfect description of Lady Damodred. Lan knows what changed. He is interested in something else: "Was she happier then?" Brutal. We know Moiraine is not exactly rays and sunshine, but damn... Imagine being in someone's head, feeling someone's emotions when this person is almost never happy. To know that there is little you can do about it. And that is Lan, who himself seems to have about two trucks of personal baggage to deal with. He seems genuinely sad. What was it? Duty is heavier than a mountain. And there is no dessert after.

[yuseirra]

ch160...again

I know none of you here would be doing this but I burst out laughing this morning out of.. how absurd some of the reactions were oh my god....

I don’t really look at other people’s reactions much because it stresses me out, but I did come across a few Youtube thumbnails while skimming through, you see? There's been a lot :/

I really don’t know if I’m watching the same piece of work with them!!!

Like, seriously, let's just sit down and think for a moment.

If seeing a toothbrush lights up the flame of madness in someone, isn’t that person the creepy one, not Kamiki?

I mean, how does someone’s expression darken just because they see a toothbrush? Is that a joke? I can get Nino despairing or getting swayed that way because she encountered her boyfriend's death (seriously, why date Ryosuke out of all people? He's trash!! Why Nino WHY??), but Ryosuke? He’s clearly not in his right mind. Think about it.

Ryosuke is seriously a creepy person. He goes to Kamiki’s house, sees two toothbrushes, and one of them is labeled “Ai’s ♥” — then his face turns pale like he's encountered some kind of nightmare. Is that normal?? I want him gone. That's a stalker too close to home, it gets on my nerves. what makes him be that way?

Please, think about it... Please... this is so absurd to the point it's funny, I can’t take it anymore. What is this? Are we even watching the same piece? This is ridiculous

The guy kept talking about how much he missed his ex-girlfriend. And that... that’s what became the motive for Nino and Ryosuke to kill someone and attempt murder. Hey, which side would be the crazy ones if you had to pick a side?

Aqua might bring more evidence regarding Yura in the next chapter of something, and if at that point it turns out, “Wow, he was the mastermind all along,” I can understand that.

But right now, with just this, you’re telling me Kamiki's incited people’s madness and deliberately stirred up their emotions to make them into killers or whatever?

Does this make sense? Does that even sound reasonable? To me, it’s satirizing the obsessive madness surrounding idols. Isn’t it? Because there really are people who stalk idols and do creepy things. Ryosuke couldn’t stand the fact that the idol he adored had a boyfriend, so he resorted to harming her being the malicious stalker he was. And Nino? She’s like one of those crazy fans who attack other idols because they’re more popular than the one she stans. That’s what this is a metaphor for. It’s absurd. Do people actually interpret it literally? Kamiki is right. He did nothing.

Let’s reflect on this from an ethical perspective. Even if this were a real situation, would you take everything at face value? I hope not. I hope you don’t think any of this was justified. No, look, the visions Aqua brought was definitely a gag. It was meant to be funny. How does Ryosuke, who’s nobody, pale at the sight of someone’s toothbrush in the same cup as their boyfriend’s? He’s seriously a strange person!! If someone had caught onto this earlier, Ai wouldn’t have died! Someone should have reported him to the police when he showed these signs but he hid his true colors so well huh? What an unfortunate thing to have happened. He shouldn't have existed. There is no need for a person like him to exist in this world.

Aqua, please get a grip. Make some sense. Please... This is making me angry.

I'm not defending your father because I favor him, he HAS to pay if he's done wrong; but you really can’t justify this. It’s stressing me out so much I think I’m going crazy. If this is all you have for you confront your father and aim a knife at him to tell him to get lost, it’s not enough. This comic seriously gives me a headache.

Kamiki is just too pitiful... yeah, the guy really is a sad figure.

When Ai herself said she wished someone would help him, the outcome has been set in stone.

The problem is how to get to the outcome, but the answer is already there. That’s how I jumped in with conviction. This is where the story will head regarding that man.

This person deserves to be saved.

But how in the world are they supposed to be saved? I have no idea... They will though. I wasn't very good with predicting the little details that'd lead to the outcomes, but I've always been right about the conclusions, regarding this manga.

[shadowy-suitcase-herring-neck]

(Accidentally deleted my whole ask.... it was so long too.) Have any of the Cubed skeletons met each other inside? How do they feel about seeing their enemies meeting the same fate? Is the Cube too vast to do so, at least, to do so now? What do they feel in regards to everyone's mutations and their own? What are Ink, Blue, and Horror's mutations? How do any of them cope with their new biology? I imagine a skeleton getting a hair or something similar in their eye to be a baffling new experience. They too must suffer with us fleshy ones. (I live with a few cats can you tell.) How did Error manage to wrangle an entire colony of Spider Beasts? How does he cope as someone who is otherwise entirely alone, unlike the others, if he copes at all? As a glitch would the Cube even affect him the same as the rest, if so what is his mutation? Especially considering he already had an untrustworthy body to begin with (all the crashes... the glitching... does he even suffer from glitches anymore?). -(An Error Enjoyer) What is the Cube's ecosystems like? The flora and fauna, the seasons! Are the former restricted to a square or would flora and fauna be able to cross over? Do the seasons affect every square at once? What is it like when the Cube twists and turns? Can you fall off the Cube? Can the initial scientists see within the Cube? Who is Jane? Are there any other notable scientists? Does time pass differently? Do any of the scientists regret their decisions? Knowing they're now responsible for fundamentally changing and- intentionally or not- killing so many? Do they understand how revolting that is? To have so much blood on their hands? (Just that. Blood, not even dust. Lifeless corpses, how many monsters feel violated at just that within itself?) ...Do they even know? How many are even aware of the Cube's true nature? Are there any fighting back? Which of those are rebelling against the metaphorical chopping block over their heads? How many hide away in fear? Are there balances with the Cube Multiverse? How many things have hit the fan in the Gods and Guardians's absence if that is the case? Would they ever be able to get out? (Assuming a long time has since passed.) Would they even want to? To go back to a multiverse that shunned even their protectors, a multiverse that goes to such lengths as to use the Cube in the first place? If they left would they go back to normal? Would they want to? Would they survive a second transformation, or a lack of? That got really long- oh well. I think I got all my previous questions down... Thank you for sharing! Hope you get all the rest you need!

ohhhhohoho :)))))) *turns around slowly on a spinny chair like a supervillian* buckle up this is gonna be a long one :]

There have been meetings. The gang have been on the Cube for years. (or will be on the cube for years. i am unsure the time frame tbh) so it was inevitable to meet other prisoners. The gang would feel somewhat grim satisfaction but also confusion and a mix of other emotions when they meet the stars. They obviously don't belong there. but also it's a grim satisfaction that never really feels all that satisfying. (The cube is quite large. definitely not as big as a planet but it is large. ) Blue gets a beak. he also figures out he is very good at imitation. Blue also has some scales under his eye sockets and his phalanges. Ink tbh i haven't 100% worked out his exact mutation. it is being more difficult than expected. but he will likely have a sort of chameleon ability (color shifting) Horror just gets some very fluffy hands with some massive claws. (what looks like fur is actually feathers)

It is certainly an experience getting used to the mutations. of course no one likes the fact their bodies where so drastically changed without warning. The eyeballs where certainly a new experience to be sure. needless to say they prefer eye lights. Killer is especially irritated by it.

Error was able to be trapped in the Cube much by his own fault surprisingly… He had thought it was another au to destroy but once he entered all his magic was stripped and he got trapped. The rest of the multiverse wasn’t going to free him so… yeah he’s trapped and very angry that he is unable to watch undernovela, or eat chocolate, even his crochet and knitting is harder… but still doable. 

Error’s transformation was one of the more painful. His eyes felt like they were burning for DAYS. The glitches were no longer there but his bones would chip off and regrow rapidly sometimes. He speaks with a stutter but the strange mechanical accents are gone.. He mostly prefers to not talk now. Not that any of the spiders know what he's talking about. He has small holes under his eye sockets and in his wrists that can produce a slightly bioluminescent string (silk?) It can’t really move like it could before, it acts as any other string without the magic that allowed Error to make it move. Also he has four arms. 

The large spider beasts had taken an immediate fascination with Error. The queen of the hive watched him when under the effects of the changes brought by the Cube. It was likely they thought Error was a very strange young spider beast. A very very strange one. 

Out of everyone, Error has probably survived the easiest. It helps when you have a massive colony of spider beasts that seem intent on protecting you. 

a drawing of him with a spider beast named Matrix ^ each square of the cube has it's own separate ecosystem, weather, flora and fauna. they are confined to the square they originate from unless a prisoner takes it out. there isn't any reason to the types of environments next to each other. The squares shift every day at midnight after all. You could step right out of an icy wasteland right into a tropical jungle. seasons don't exist on the cube. Each square exists in the season it was designed for. the only thing that exists across several areas that aren't prisoners are the Corpse eaters. large thinly built wyvern looking things with long hooked beaks and butterfly patterned wings. they also have large white eyes. they act basically like large vultures. cleaning up any dead thing they find. Corpse eaters aren't particularly hostile but it is advised to stay away. when the cube shifts there is a shaking but not too violent. it's only really dangerous if your near the edge of a square because of lose debris and the large gap that appears between the sections. You can't fall of as it seems each section has it's own center of gravity it seems. ( think that's what you call it) it makes going between sections a rather strange feeling. and also you could jump off the edge of the cube and just fall on the side square like it was the ground. which it is now. the environments can be really really crazy. there are also a lot more sections that on your average 3 by 3 rubrics cube type shape. a lot more.

The scientists can view what happens in the cube. it would be foolish not to have some sort of surveillance system. Jane was one of the head scientists who worked on making the cube. She had some personal beef with Nightmare because of one of his attacks on her au. Jane is also one of the scientists who somewhat regrets what she did. Not to the gang yet though (yet). She hates that the stars and other people where being sent though. That wasn't what she wanted. But like her those scientists that showed regret and tried to put and end to it where seen as criminals. they knew too much. and so they where trapped as well if not just dealt with in other ways. the stripping of the magic is devastating for many. Monsters are made of magic. it is a fundamental part of them. taking that is just wrong. Most don't know exactly what the cube is. There are many many theories but most don't know what exactly it is other than a deadly prison of sorts. The uncertainty can make it all the more terrifying. most who fight against it are those in danger themselves. many monsters and humans just try to not draw attention to themselves. they believe if they just aren't a danger, if they just keep to themselves, they will be safe. Some say anyone who ends up there deserves it. they are all criminals after all... right. (the stars being sent was something kept hidden from nearly everyone. though several people have put the pieces together.) Because both sides of the balances have all lost their abilities the balances seem to have just frozen. this isn't exactly good. at least things aren't self destructing but it isn't supposed to be stagnant.

For now the prisoners only hope is for escape. you could never have a comfortable fulfilling life in the cube. The drive to escape in many cases is what keeps them going. even though many have no clue where to even start. They focus on simply surviving. don't think too hard about the future or you might start thinking about how impossible escape sounds or what comes after. Just keep telling yourself you'll get out one day, it will happen if you just keep trying. when they do get out. They would feel lost. they lost their magic. where would they go...

the only person that might not care about escape might be Error. if he does he would probably be taking a massive spider army with him.

[starwell-tarot]

PAC: What is your superpower? 🤍

Pick a pile reading: What is the superpower you carry through life, that makes you such an awesome individual?

Hope this will help you guys see how cool you really are 😎

Pile 1-3, left to right

Pick the pendant that you feel most drawn to. It's okay to pick more than one, you can feel attracted to multiple piles and read multiple interpretations.

Disclaimer: All my readings contain themes of mental and emotional struggles and pains as they strive to comfort those. I don't intend on rubbing you the wrong way and I'm doing this with the hope I can help people feel better, but if it doesn't work I might just not be the right person to comfort you.

Disclaimer: I'm not a mental health professional in any way. Although my tarot readings focus on giving emotional and mental reassurance, I can only give you as much as a friend could give you - encouraging words, friendly advice, a shoulder to cry on or a metaphorical hug. Please take in the information responsibly, and if your mental health is greatly affecting your day to day functions, please consider looking for a professional if possible. I'm afraid I can't be more than a tarot-enthusiastic friend.

Take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Take care of yourselves and remember hope is your best friend. 🖤

PILE 1: BLUE HEART // Maple Tree, Sumac, King of Swords R, Seven on Pentacles

You live life to the beat of your own drum. You have an admirable stubbornness to you - and that's your superpower. People might say that this is like this, and that is like that, but you don't believe them. You don't follow the status quo, you don't participate in the mentality of the mainstream. No, instead you take every little thing and look at it with your OWN eyes. You create your own opinion of it. You turn everything on every side, analyze it and reanalyze it until you find what you feel is YOUR angle, that fits you the best. Because at the end of the day, it's your life, it's your mind, it's your heart. Your mind is deep and complex, and using your intellectual power and observing eye, you can always deduct the best course of action to give yourself the happiness you deserve, build the life that YOU want. With this superpower, you'll always keep searching for a way to achieve what you desire, even if it seems impossible. Your keen eye will always find the hidden small pleasures of life, daily happiness doses that you give yourself - other people might not understand them or might even be envious of them, but that's none of your concern. No one can ever tell you to live like them, think like them, feel like them - you're couragously unique and will continue to explore the boundaries of the world to create your own paradise on Earth. Keep being stubborn, my friend 🖤

PILE 2 - STEEL HEART - Linden Tree, Two of Wands, Three of Wands

People might try to bring you down in this life - try to control you, tell you what to do, try to pin you down, put obstacles in your way, strip you away of happiness - however there is something they will never be able to take away from you. Even if your heart has to turn to steel in order to protect itself from the world, it still continues to beat with purity, with innocence - it continues to dream. Your superpower is exactly this: your ability to conjure up dreams and fantasies, still pure, innocent and full and love and hope, uncorrupted by the world around you. You live life with your heart on your sleeve, your dreams in every handshake, your hopes in every word. Many people might say they're just dreams and fantasies, but you know that's not true. Your inner truth is way matters most - and that truth is that your dreams are your heartbeat, your reason to live and fight. And you WILL fight for you dreams, for they need to be gently grown with patience and passion for them to manifest in real life, and you know this. You're aware your dreams aren't an illusion, and with enough hard work and soul put into them, they can become true. You're a soulful fighter, a pure-heated dreamer, and to you no magic is untouchable. Keep dreaming, my friend 🖤

PILE 3 - HALF HEART // Chestnut Tree, Ten of Wands, Nine of Cups R

It is possible for you to detach a part of your heart and give it to someone who needs it in order to fill the void in theirs. Your superpower is, you're a healer. You have a caring and selfless nature, taking on other people's hurt as your own - you can't stand to see someone walk around with a broken heart. The caretaker in you will want to take them in, listen to them, nurture them and make them feel comfortable about the loss or change that broke their heart, so that they will be able to heal. You lend them your positivity, you create them a safe space. You give them an anchor, a shoulder cry on. You're responsible, calm, calculated, level headed and understanding, and together with your gentle guidance and optimism, it gives you this ability; the ability to give pieces of your heart to others, but without ever running out of heart for yourself, because love is endless. There can always be more love, and the people around you realize that with you, they're safe, they're protected and you won't ever judge them for their hurt. You are an ally to the people, a practitioner of white magic. Please never forgot to heal your own heart too, my friend 🖤

R means reversed.

Let me know if the pile you picked resonated with you. 😁

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©starwell-tarot do not copy or repost

[kseniyagreen]

Disco Elysium. Thoughts about the Pale

Beware, Spoilers!!!

The theme of Pale is one of the main ones for understanding the meaning of the story, one of the key metaphors. The question is a metaphor for what?

A long time ago I had the idea that there are two types of emptiness. Honest, ordinary emptiness, like a hole in which there is nothing. And therefore it can always be filled with something new.

And an emptiness that gives nothing, but at the same time fills you up, not allowing you to make up for the loss with something else. Emptiness that has the power to displace life.

People who have experienced severe depression know this feeling. When you seem to be filled to the brim with melancholy, and this melancholy feels more real than the whole world around you.

Pale is the depression of the world.

In the world of the game, people irradiated by Pale become ill with longing for what was lost or for what never happened. Longing for something that doesn’t exist in reality, but we wish it did.

And if these alluring ghost images fill a person entirely, they completely disconnects from the outside world. Essentially, falling into a sad waking dream.

Yes, Pale is a metaphor for those regrets in which we drown after experiencing loss or disappointment or discovering an insurmountable obstacle on the path we have outlined for ourselves.

And it is characteristic that in these regrets, as in Pale, there is something alluring. It seems that it is there, at the bottom of this melancholy, that something beautiful and amazing is stored, and all present reality is insipid, empty, gray.

Having rejected reality, people escape from it - with the help of alcohol, drugs, religion or their own imagination. And the longer this escape lasts, the more difficult it is to return to contact, the more inconspicuous and meaningless the real world feels.

We say the world is gray, but maybe it’s not the world, but the gray veil before our eyes prevents us from seeing the valuable in what surrounds us?

But Pale is not only a psychological phenomenon of private life, but also a global.

In the conversation with phasmid (which I will write about later), a very important phrase is heard:

“Pale is the shadow of your nervous activity.”

What could this mean?

Our consciousness gives us the opportunity to create, change the world, and operate with simbols . And among other things, consciousness gives us the opportunity to perceive negative space.

If you draw a pattern on paper, inside this pattern you can see another one - a pattern of voids. And the more complex your pattern, the closer to it in complexity this pattern of voids will be. There are no material resources invested in it - ink, graphite - but you can fill it with emotional energy, give it meaning with the power of your imagination.

Many techniques in horrors are built on this principle - an empty space, an empty black silhouette on the wall, can make an even stronger impression than the specific outlines of a monster.

By focusing on what is not exist, we fill it with power, turning nothing into something.

This is how Pale is born - first of all, within us. When our inner life focuses on loss, this loss gradually takes on a meaning-forming role. But it cannot give real meaning - after all, in essence, it is just a hole, nothing. It can only become a source of constant thirst that cannot be quenched.

"THERE IS A HOLE IN MY HEART"

Revachol's voice speaks.

The worst thing is that Pale affects not just individual people, but entire nations. Regret about lost former power (even mythical) or disappointment in old ideals, resentment towards life and one’s own powerlessness - when these feelings capture a large number of people, entire countries can turn into a force that brings death.

Because Pale strives to grow - and the only way that something that is not exists can grow apart is by destroying what exists.

The further humanity develops, the denser and more complex the connections between us - thanks to the Internet, thanks to modern technologies - the more people have the opportunity to realize their fantasies. Create your own world.

But the more complex the structure - more powerful its shadow.

In addition to garbage, harmful emissions, and environmental pollution, we also create Pale. The more paths are tried, the more ideologies are tried, the more doubts there are in the future. The more we know about each other, the more difficult it can be to maintain a positive view of humans as a species.

What will happen if everything we have created over thousands of years of history cannot outweigh all our failures and disappointments? What happens if Pale wins?

Disco Elysium has a very rare quality for acutely social works - the game not only poses a problem, but also shows the possibility of solving it. At least a sprout of hope.

But I will write about this later.

[naranjapetrificada]

Director's Cut: Cornerstone? (in particular, what broke the seal on writing fic at all after a decade?)

Apologies for not getting this out sooner but the bastard app ate my first draft of this post. There are two answers to this question, one of them quite straightforward and the other less so.

The straightforward answer: one day I wrote some meta, and the next morning my brain was still turning it all over enough that I started thinking about the details. Specifically what Ed would be thinking about, and about the ADHD experience of sex which can be frustrating, especially in emotionally fraught times.

I may or may not have been reading a lot of canon divergent first time fics at the time, and while Ed certainly experiences powerful emotions in those scenarios, things are understandably much thornier in post season 1 pre season two fics where there's so much more broken between the two of them. So I was thinking about being in that headspace and how Ed might be worrying about missing stuff while it was happening and trying to be present in a way that's an ADHD struggle.

The less straightforward answer: I guess if all of the above was like, what was fueling it all, the question of why now after a decade is because the stars aligned in such a specific way. Naturally there's just the source material itself, which is so inherently compelling to so many people that lives are literally changed by it. In fact, for folks reading along, some of the earliest conversations I had with question asker here were about all the grief stuff the show was dredging up (enough to have its own dedicated tag). I actually think the breaking point that got me to write this fic goes all the way back to my very first posts on here.

This show and its fanworks began to pull emotions out of me that I hadn't experienced in a long, long time, and got me thinking in ways and about stuff I never had before. Even with a lot of personal baggage around writing (which is too big to get into here), reading and writing and metaphor are how I understand the world. I'd been reading loads of fic and meta in the weeks before I created this account (initially succumbing to tumblr's sign-in wall) and after realizing I needed somewhere to put all these feelings I was having, I started making actual posts.

So lots of meta. And I love writing meta! But it wasn't scratching every itch, not with the kind of minute detail that I wanted, or not from the perspectives I felt like I needed to. There were always going to be things I couldn't explore through meta, and despite my personal history with trying to write fiction it was really inevitable that I'd end up writing something, since I couldn't let go of all the topics I was turning over in my head.

So all that, plus I got lucky with images. I've talked before about how all my one-shots feel like they were written with the part of my brain that writes poetry instead of prose, by which I mean they're born of an emotion and an image hitting me with a finite kind of urgency. The image, which I later remembered encountering in (among other places) an Assassin's Creed fic I'd read a few years back, was about the inherent collective nature of cathedrals. How they require enormous coordination to build in the first place and constant maintenance afterwards.

Which like, small digression but remember the Notre Dame fire from a million years ago? Intellectually I knew it would be fine, especially because no one was hurt, and since it was in western Europe they'd have funds for the repairs in no time. And also fuck the Catholic Church and basically everything they've done since oh, the First Crusade? The Great Schism? When Paul decided to go preaching to the gentiles? But like, at some point during all of it I cried, and at first I couldn't figure out why, but then I remembered stuff I'd read about workers putting bits of themselves into cathedrals. Like stone masons chiseling stuff onto the inner-facing parts of stones that no one else would see almost like individual offerings, which is such a goddamn human thing to do that it overwhelms me. Anything that extremely human, that connects us across time and space and even reminds me of time as an extant concept gets the existential tears flowing.

So yeah, all of that coupled with the cathedral-as-their-relationship image and it was truly inevitable. And at the time I had complete faith that if it happened again (which it did), nothing I wrote would ever be longer than 3000 words. We see how well that that worked out.

Ask me for director's commentary on my fics!