#how to use small function
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Some AHUW badges! :D
AHUW masterpost
#a hat in time#ahit#ahit au#a hat under waters#ahuw#yart#Ah and about the “float badge!”#I imagine the platforming will be different to accommodate the underwater thing in AHUW#like things being more focused on timing (avoiding objects slamming down/ you're not allowed to just float everywhere due to time limits)#and the general areas being more widespread to match the slower falling speed#so the badge will likely function as a slight speed boost that can help in certain spots or a fast way to go slightly up#as well as functioning the same way as the hover badge in areas out of water#mayhaps it can be used along with the ice hat in “no jumping” challenges and such for a small height boost :D#Oh and for those wondering how you attack in slug mode without arms to carry an umbrella#headbutt :]
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I wonder, do Minibots/Minicons exist in Transformers One?
I’m not sure we saw any in the movie (though I could very well be wrong, tell me if I am), and the most notable ones, the Cassettes, are nowhere to be found, Soundwave seems on his own at this point, his dock looks empty to me

Though he does still have a dock, which could imply that he’s meant to gain his Cassettes in future movies, should those ever happen
But regardless, it makes me wonder now if the “definitely smaller than average” small Transformers exist in this universe at all. And also, how would they work compared to the cogless, who are supposed to be the small bots in this society? Are they even smaller? And what about cogless Minibots, how would that work?
#it’s something I’m wondering about#and maybe the reason they’re seemingly not in the movie is so they don’t have to deal with the logistics#of them and the cogless and how they function#and I mean Micronus is presumably small but I’m not sure by how much to be the Minicon Prime#probably doesn’t help there seems no accurate scale for all of them compared to one another#I guess it doesn’t matter too much it’s only a question to me regarding the Cassettes#I wonder if they can exist at all or at least Rumble and Frenzy#since I feel like the animal ones can get a pass as being like a different species or something#I don’t know thoughts#transformers#transformers one#minibots#Minicons#I’m using the terms interchangeably bc I don’t know which fits better#soundwave#cassettes#questions
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im trying to draw again have some yu yus




#got overcome with the urge to draw hiei's top scars. AGAIN 🙄#i love him...#also the world can always use some more cute kuwabaras#i alway feel a little weird posting character sketches where theyre not doing anything but im trying to get used to posting again#making art And showing it (but mostly making art). and if all i can do rn is headshots that'll have to be okay#i started getting really in my head about all the things i didn't know how to do and eventually i just stopped drawing#bc i didn't have the time or energy or executive functioning to do background studies#so this is part of my digging my heels in so i can start walking into the maelstrom. so to speak#one step at a time etc#even halting my degradation is worthwhile#ANYWAY#yyh#yu yu hakusho#hiei#kazuma kuwabara#kurama#keiko yukimura#shes so small i kind of feel bad tagging her...#but shes there#skrunkart#sorry the gang's not all there. offscreen theres like three hideous yusukes
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Okay I’m going to say it, some of y’all treat the KOTLC tag like it’s a tumblr community instead of an organization system that gathers together everything people post and tag as KOTLC
#unless something has absolutely nothing to do with kotlc#no one is in their right to tell you to not tag something at kotlc. just so you know.#you can’t clog up a tag. that’s not a THING#no one talks about this in bigger fandoms. we only have this problem bc it’s a small fandom and people are used to going to the tag#to find the content they want#and if they aren’t finding the content they want too bad so sad.#like I’m not saying you can just tag whatever as kotlc#but if it’s about kotlc in any way. you are well within your right to tag it as such.#Im ALL FOR properly tagging. like don’t improperly tag. that’s just mean#and that DOES interrupt tags :/#but there’s no way for you to post too much about any one topic#the kotlc tag is NOT a curated space. it’s not a place of all these assorted kotlc posts in similar formats#it’s a space for everything tagged as kotlc#so unless you look at the post and are like ��this doesn’t even mention kotlc or any of its characters???’#you can scroll along your merry way!#kotlc#it’s something that’s come up in both the right and wrong contexts#during tam cam people told ppl talking about just the identity stuff to keep it out of the kotlc tag and that was CORRECT bc that wasn’t#about kotlc. but also during tam cam people put in my ask box that there were too many tam cam meme posts and that they were clogging up#the tag. to which I say A) I was only making like a quarter of those and B) those have to do with kotlc so you can suck it up! in the end I#didn’t respond. but yeah. i get that there’s a time and place for us to be like hey that doesn’t belong here#but whether or not something belongs in the tag has NOTHING to do with how much you want to see it or how many posts are being made about it#thank you and have a nice day. and if you want a curated space of similarly formatted kotlc posts you should make a community#Ik our tag often functions like one bc we are a small fandom. but we are NOT entitled to that.
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i'm stupid so i absolutely did not put together Conrad Schintz as "conscience" until i saw someone in the tag point this out but now that it's in my dumb brain i can't stop thinking about it. Alex's choice to portray Conrad as this softspoken never speaks up but still has to do Something boy who is kind and thoughtful to a fault. pitch perfect character choices!!! but also this tiny quiet boy somehow being pegged by the heads of the city as the BIGGEST DISTRACTION to the big guy's goals and ambitions!! and then his choice of the important article to pay attention to being the culmination of Elias' months and months of research - specifically for the goal of, as Conrad put it, getting it before the "big wigs" could get to it. WHAT is Elias Hodge DOING for Gobstopper Industries??????
#sarah.txt#dimension 20#mentopolis#d20 spoilers#d20 meta#story meta#kind of????? this isn't really meta just me going WHAT is going on and being too dumb to figure it out skdnfskdfnsd#god these fucking world building choices though.#cortisol being the main hormone available legally and one of its functions is to regulate stress response.#the city is on strict pleasure/love lockdown until elias gets a raise.#his conscience is a tiny little boy who no one ever listens to but still somehow managed to shake up the whole city w one small choice.#logic is the mayor!!! ambition is the DA!!!!!#all of these small things that tell us SO MUCH about who elias hodge is as a person without ever even meeting the big guy!!!!!!#Brennan how much fucking WORK did you put into this world building i'm SCREAMING!!!!!
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bad dream today but!!! Wheeeee good morning
#something something never having stayed at a place for more than a year#so you never learn how a long term friendship cpuld function and the one thing youre used to is#never being attached to anyone or anything becuase even though it might happen for some people#you fully believe that nothing ever sticks around#and even of theres a small pat of you that knows thats some kind of bullshit its been all too real#for literally everything ever so you just never form attachments
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Reminder to self when I've done some more writing: Remind people that I'm canon-strict, what that means, and how I guess it means that I'm reclaiming yet another term that has been rendered as being something akin to negative by the masses. Better known as, a... 'lore purist'. Hi, yes, that's me! Hi, hello, my name is Sae, how do you do?
#[ out of character. ] don't bend or water it down. don't try to make it logical. rather: follow your most intense obsessions mercilessly.#[ honestly-- i love the muses i have /because/ they're wonderful within their canon from pretty much start to finish. ]#[ i don't fall in love with concepts; i fall in love with actual characters. ]#[ i don't love the idea of dorian. i love /dorian/ as he is. everything about him. ]#[ okay so i don't like how they didn't allow us to see him in full glory tevinter robes but there's logic to that choice. i know. i know. ]#[ but i mean it. can there be small things that i dislike? certainly. but they're rarely choices that play into the grand scheme... ]#[ of things. things that weren't included because they don't HAVE to be (ie: his attire). or idle animations. ]#[ they can't spend time on everything. same with solas. and my genshin/hsr muses. ]#[ it usually pertains to little things and never anything big. i don't... remember when i last went 'divergent'. ]#[ because i haven't had a muse where i think the writers/creators lost their way or made sacrifices. ]#[ any way-- all of this to say what i want to say more thoroughly later: leave fanon at the door when you knock on the door of my blog. ]#[ i /elaborate/ on canon. i don't change it. and yes-- i like the lore of DA. i love it even. ]#[ why would i change it? ]#[ i can 'explain away' most accusations of retcons with relative ease with use of canon. the moment that i can't? well. ]#[ then you can make me eat my own words. but until then. here we are. ]#[ my name is sae-- and i'm a proud lore purist. it's what i've always been. and how i've always functioned on my blogs. ]#[ ... since ezio in 2016. and it won't change. i'll adhere to some changes people make for the sake of their characters of course but-- ]#[ if it changes things that adhere to things that pertain to my muses inherently? not really. unless we /really/ talk. ]
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Thank you for that Fallout post. I'm a trans man living in Texas and i'm ND and legally disabled, i'm home a lot, but i use media and other hobbies to help cope with my issues and struggles and it works well. i'm healthy about it too.
however i come here onto tumblr and i see some of the most vile and inflammatory shit that could very easily trigger or cause distress in someone over video games. and then to be made to feel like i'm somehow the one in the wrong who had hurtful and upsetting things shown and said to me for simply... playing a game and liking a certain character? i just mostly feel intimidated into silence and i largely avoid the fallout community on here because i dont agree with any of that, and also that i'm not allowed to like or even discuss certain character for fear of being told i'm some evil fucked up person when i didn't do anything bad to begin with.
I’m glad it resonated with you and I’m sorry you feel shut out by trying to engage with a piece of media you enjoy. It really is a shame how much puritan culture invading fandom spaces has ostracized people who just use these things as a creative outlet or to stay connected with a community. It shouldn’t feel like pulling teeth trying to have discussions about liking characters who aren’t “Good People”. I know this is an issue that’s been cropping up in a lot of different spaces, but I notice it much more with things like Fallout because a) I just spend more time in the Fallout community and b) there’s virtually no way to ignore the fact that dystopian fiction involves some moral gray area. We’re all just trying to play in a space together and making it into a moral competition cultivates a really isolating, hostile environment.
#there’s a part of me that’s like. almost nostalgic for how fandom spaces used to function#but that might also be based around my personal experiences snd perception of how fandom used to be#anyway tho. wishing you well anon i hope you find people who can play in the space with you without being weird about it#and it does suck feeling like you can’t even mention liking specific characters otherwise it becomes a mark on your tumblr permanent record#I’ve met a lot of people in this community who are cool about it but it’s usually like… done in private conversations or small servers#hard to have public discussions#which it’s so strange to me considering tumblr is notoriously the Villain Liker website#im a little tired so im not sure my thoughts are totally cohesive. hopefully all of that makes sense#asks
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I love adding my leftover paint into my sketchbook it's so much fun and it adds texture which I find I like considering how differently I feel like I have been approaching art recently. and also it helps if I want to add markers to something because it hides the bleed-through, although I don't use my markers as much because of the aforementioned change in approach. however the problem is if I'm just going to glob paint down I need to do so when I don't intend on using the sketchbook because I just shot myself in the foot and I have to wait for it to dry
#the thinner normal-thickness layers are dry. but there are spots that are going to take actual hours.#I feel like I should elaborate on what I mean about when I say I like texture because how I approach art is different. ok.#something that I've been aware of between when I started using bookbound sketchbooks as opposed to spiralbound and november fifth#of last year which is when I started this sketchbook and I will note my approach to it was IMMEDIATELY different I will blame still#being a bit manic and a little bit delusional at the time. not elaborating on that. but that period of nearly five years exactly#ninth december 2019 to fifth november 2024. yeah.#I was drawing on both sides of the page but I wanted to finish as many drawings as I could. so I neglected what would be left as a#pencil sketch or something like that on the page with marker bleed-through or sometimes I would cover it with paint markers#which is really fun. creating like an abstract thing. I recommend it#I got better at finishing sketches and learning where to use colour to maximise how many things I could colour as time went on#but now it's like. well I guess so far it has actually got quite a lot of coloured work in it I guess it's like. I spend a lot more time#with the sketches and not necessarily by choice#but I'm colouring specific things. and it's not my characters. I haven't drawn them since last year.#which is WILD I still think about them but I only want to draw like three things. you can guess the first one. I have brainrot.#second is drawing like. rooms. I don't know how you describe it because they're not studies if they're from imagination#third is I guess you could argue a form of character because I came up with a guy to draw but it was like 1960s clothing studies and seeing#if I could come up with a small wardrobe that was a bit more cohesive#the guy it was on wasn't important. he doesn't even have eyes. he's essentially a mannequin#but the amount of drawings I've done so far that's just a sketch is far higher than I feel like I used to do and I'm alright with it#I'm going to try and work my way back up to using my dip pen as well I MISS that and I really was not functional enough for it#requires me to concentrate and I wasn't capable of concentration on that level. or. drawing a line good.#and idk. with the smoothness of the paper I'm using which is beautiful for actually drawing and colouring and inking on#once a sketch is done it's kind of. oh. that's it. once you add the texture of say brushstrokes in slightly thick paint#or scumbling. except not really because it was wet paint and I think technically with paint that's a dry brushing thing.#or as I've done. some impasto. especially adding pencil on top of it? it's a lot more fun#idk was this a lot of words to say that.#chronic 'cannot shut up' disease
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okay i genuinely believe id stay alive for at least a week on a zombie apocalypse. also depends on who im with or the virus variations, but a week is definitely guaranteed
#thing is if im with my dad then im in for a long run#if im with my mom id have to look after her the most#i will not be paired up with my brother because he'd kill the both of us 💀#if im alone its going to be tough but ill have more supplies#if the virus has any mutation like tlou im sure itll spread faster which is an issue#but if it's like average zombie through bite id only have to work out a little and im safe#the issue is knowing how to kill them though 😭😭#do i have the strength to pass a knife through someones skull???#sorry i really like zombie apocalypses ⛷️⛷️#didnt add why i think id survive but basically#im very stealthy and overall quiet#i can move through places very quickly without making any noise#i have an above average reaction time i think??#i work well under pressure and adrenaline#and im incredibly EXTREMELY good at keeping rations and gathering stuff. literally treat everything like its the rarest prize ever#i will not die of hunger and i will find useful items everywhere#the only issue is my body strength 😭#but i am athletic (if u consider i dont do any exercising) and have good long-term stamina#i also can function with small amounts of food and sleep if i get used to it#i just need to get stronger 💔
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NO YOU’RE SO RIGHT ABOUT THE MAJIMA STUFF THOUGH. GOD. God forbid you speak poorly about the fandom silly guy etc etc. I rt’d one post about someone being annoyed abt majima getting an insane amount of merch (especially compared to other characters- even other PLAYABLE characters) and suddenly my TL is filled with ppl taking it as a personal attack….. like?? Settle down???
My one fear is that instead of Mine content we’re just gonna get Majima Saga 2 for yk3 and rgg will call it a day. WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO SAY ABOUT THE GUY !!! GENUINELY!!!
at this rate we’re going to have a complete record of Majima’s life from birth until modern day bc you knowww they’re never gonna let the cash cow die or retire. + god I lowkey need the 3jimas to break up Now so saejima and daigo can stand on their own again (w/out being overshadowed by Majima)…. Saejima especially… I miss the days when he felt like a character………
(I may have a lot to say on the topic) (he’s a fun character but at this rate I’m getting so sick of the fandom around him)
gen is kinda funny how when there's the Monthly Critique Of Majima post on twitter the rggtwt part of the tl is flooded with majima fans being upset. its like clockwork really LOL
as for saejima, i do miss him being solo... like he's funny with majima at times, but as wack as Y4 was i still really liked his coliseum scene, and his prison adventures in Y5 were a real treat too..
#snap chats#like you say one mild comment about majima in passing and then you have mates acting as if you burned their crops#like .. its never this serious .. also i think people have the right to be a littttttle miffed that other charas barely get anything#its starting to change with the plushies and saejima/akiyama figures so thats great but. still a way to go LOL#its just esp Lol inducing because kiryu and ichi are protagonists so it makes sense for them to get stuff#but majima is quite literally a side character that wasnt meant to have this much popularity#the concept of a chara becoming popular by accident isnt bad thats not the thing- its even cool when that happens#its just sometimes you just see people act really entitled to stuff for that character while every other chara is ignored#and then the same people acting surprised when others go 'actually ive had a bit enough of this guy'#honestly if they did another majima segment for a hypothetical yk3 id laugh. like id be a bit annoyed but id mostly laugh#cause truly what else is there. he's like a comic book character we just gotta keep making situations for him til hes 90#idk. just so funny majima's been given a sort of 'weird' protagonist status#and i say weird because he IS a protagonist but just compared to how he actually functions throughout y1-y6. lol. lmao even#like youre right in that majima's a fun character but he really is better in just small doses imo#or. at least i need people to relax on the idea of a 'majima gaiden' or making him any more prominent in the games than he is now#anyway i cant be bitter posting my dad is being funny as hell. he got us bracelets and he was like#'in our family you and i are the only ones who like these. makes us cool' and i was like 'yeah dad we're so cool'#and this old man is just 'we're so cool ☺️' LIKE PL E A S E THE EMOJI TOOK ME OUT. i love my dad. all bitterness is gone from my heart#anyways bye if rgg gives majima a saga in yk3 im gonna livestream playing that and only that#not even yk3 just the majima part 😭😭😭😭
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so ive been to london for the (kindof) very first time as a conscious human being and man it is like. i can’t articulate all the feelings ive been having but its making me REALLY emo because Wow heres a city that seemingly works!
#🦆#like ive traveled to a fair share of places#all of them europe so. its just. jesus#i get why my father as a sad kid living in a communist country would spend literally months on end there working shit jobs#ive been spoonfed the english language basically since i was a toddler and putting it to use was fun#and how is the architecture not fuckign. cube and graffiti type Penis#im not kidding ive learned more on this 4 day trip abt art than#during 4 years in highschool#WHATEVER im so MAD because the reason it’s allowed to prosper is 99% colonialism and it makes me want to rip my skin off because HOW is this#city so. everything. ive never been to nyc but is this how it feels? like the world is so small and so large at the same time#they can just do everything there. make all kinds of shit possible. create functional public transport#especially re: warsaw its soooo fucking funny but also not like its made me feel even worse for her#or maybe like. even more frustrated#because wow we are like so ass#eye twitching. how can you just fucking not utilize the river that YOU ARE PROGRAMMED TO LIVE IN PROXIMITY OF#and its so fucking ugly guyssssss i know we can jerk off to soviet blocks all we want but its a copeeeee its such a fucking cope#like come on how is it possible for random ass town from the prussian partition number 73638468 to STILL be prettier than the fucking#CAPITAL.#how after all these years this city is still a corpse that people just pile the most vomit inducing urban architecture#upon#we cant have anythingggggggg if you want to ser pre war architecture in warsaw you can maybe admire a beautiful modernist cube with shrapnel#holes the size of your fists#everything else that has been reduced to gravel in ww2 is currently making up a very nice park in a different part of town#and whats even the point of building something else if were just gonna get bombed again but this time crazy TWIST its the russians and#another reset for wwa#i’ll probably delete this in the morning srry just had to indulge in a bit of doomerism on a friday evening
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something i love discussing with others is the different ways people experience kin bc its so interesting the vastness of how everyones personal experiences with it can be. i really dont get people that will be like "kin is only ever LIKE THIS! everyone else is fake!" or trying to act like people with kin past lives (or anyone that "takes kinning too seriously") are crazy. like just!!! how do yall not enjoy the vast and unique experiences of other people!! how do they not fascinate you!!! its INSANE to me
#that being said i dont interact in kin spaces very heavily after i left this one large kin discord server#while i dont miss that (drained too much energy + too many chances for drama)#(or general issues just from kin being so personal and thus discomfort when peoples canons have things that clash with others canons)#but i do kinda miss seeing more about how other people experience kin stuff#and discussing what its like for me more often#also i see sometimes people criticizing the terminology people sometimes use about kinning?#even like the term ''kinning'' bc ppl will say ''its not an action you do!''#and they treat it like people that use terms like that are the kind that kin “wrong'' and act like kin is just ''i relate to this character#but like. kin IS very important and significant for me!#i may not know the exact details of HOW i kin- like theyre not past lives for me but i still AM the characters#i have kin memories sometimes but they dont feel like past lives#n kin itself is very important to me- but trying to figure out what exactly it is if its not past lives isnt important#like idk the functionality of it i just feel it. and acknowledge the feelings. you know#and i just learned kin stuff through people who are more casual with the concept and the terminology used#n just. idk. im tired rambling.#i love how differently everyone can kin regardless of how big or small it is for them or the ways they experience it#i think we should appreciate other ppls different experiences more
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After I write that new IDW Optimus meta, the next one is gonna be a post of "why I really hate that theory about Rodimus being a better Prime than Optimus and how it doesn't even match the themes of IDW OR canon fact about how the Matrix functions."
But the TLDR that I feel like encapsulates where a lot of this fanwank comes from, is that I feel like ppl don't properly appreciate that the context of Optimus and Rodimus' leaderships are extremely different.
Like, Rodimus only led a ship of about 200+ people. This means that the scale of his leadership responsibilities and the risks/consequences/stakes of his actions as leader were much smaller in scale. However, it also means that just because he only led one ship of people doesn't mean that his choices weren't important/weren't indicative of his personal character (that is to say, just bc it was only one ship doesn't mean that it had no meaning or significance at all).
On the other hand, Optimus led an entire freaking army over a 4 million year war that arose from political tensions that began even before he/most of the people in the war were born. That means that the consequences of his leadership had extremely far reaching consequences no matter what he did, which grants him a large degree of culpability/blame for his actions. HOWEVER, it must also be said that under the pressure of fighting an impossible war, just because OP wasn't able to "stop it sooner" doesn't mean that he was a morally bad/incompetent leader, because a whole galactic war is such a huge burden that one person can't possibly stop it or influence/control everything to make the most morally correct and peace-causing decisions.
TLDR can we please stop pitting Optimus and Rodimus against each other when the contexts of them being leaders was so vastly different (and they had such different leadership styles in general) that you can't really say "who's the better leader" without minimizing either of their accomplishments/magnifying their respective flaws.
Also, canonically speaking the Matrix can be wielded by anyone who's confident/at peace/self-righteous enough to believe they're worthy of it, which was shown not only by the ending of LL where a bunch of regular ass crewmates were able to use copies of the Matrix, but by the fact that the first Prime/ruler of Cybertron Nova Prime was a massive piece of shit who colonized people, yet was still a Matrix bearer who wielded the true/original Matrix.
And also Primus is literally Just Some Guy and not some omnipotent god who's an objective arbiter of morality that can point at a guy and go "YOU are the Specialest Boy Ever and are Divinely Mandated To Be A Good person"
So the entire premise of why ppl even make theories and debate about this is beyond me lol. In IDW1 the Matrix is more of a social/cultural symbol than it is an actual measurer of morality, which is in line with IDW1's consistent themes of challenging the inherent rightness of authority
#squiggposting#like frex i wouldn't say rod is inherently a worse leader just bc OP was a general and he wasn't#not every good leader needs to be The Top Leader In Charge and small scale impacts are important in their own way#likewise i wouldn't say that OP is inherently a worse leader because bigger and badder things happened under his leadership#bc the problem is that when you're a leader of a whole ass army the scale of all of your actions is much larger#so just as your heroic deeds and victories will be larger. so too will your fuckups and flaws#OP and Rod are also both good people with good intentions so like#which one of them is a 'better person' is generally subjective and more up to how you individually measure their virtues/vices#meta#i mean literally one of the central sources of conflict in idw1 (functionism) was put into place by a religious body#sooooooo why is it ppl are using the matrix as a religious justification for who The Best Prime is?#like bud the last time cybertronians used religion/alleged godhood as justification for their leader/government#they invented a fucking caste system and colonized the galaxy#even if the matrix had some divine power to objectively decide on Moral Goodness it's kind of a shit judge of character
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Thing about small italian villages is that the didnt really have roads up until the 70's which of course leads to a massive amount of cousin marriage and inbreeding and while yes my particular own has its issues regarding that (3 major families (one of whom i am part of!!! Yay!!!) that all of the other families are related to, everyone there has bone/joint problems or some sort of schizofrenia) the neighboring one is worse as in they have one major family and the rest of the inhabitants are ppl who immigrated to have a quiet life in the mountain slopes and that by itself could be an extremely interesting study bcs everyone there kinda looks the same-ish and has a frankly insane amount of people with developmental disabilities for a population this small
#ok now that i have typed it out i realized it sounds mean and i want to earnestly say that i am not mocking them i just suck at tone#i do not think its something to be laughed at i just think the whole thing is uh. i wouldnt say tragic but really no one's fault#bcs again. if you live in the mountains where the main city is hard to reach bcs of poor road conditions#which leads to isolation and also extreme stigma against the village folk *of course* the village#will become more secluded and incestuous marriages will happen (aside from the obv economical factor#that a pre industrial reality would entrail)#its just. fascinating on a sociological and genetical level. esp since by when the roads were functional#and the village folk stigma had already gone away the whole 'we stay here we stay together we are better than anyone bcs they are envious#of us and we will continue inbreeding and any kids with severe disabilities born from it are actually Blessed because they are born from us#has already taken so much root it is now unlikely to be eradicated . the nature of italian villages is that every once in a while#someone reinvents blood purity and eugenetics lmao#anyways this whole incest thing is also the reason why i get frustrated about those books that have#the main characters go into small bigoted villages and either finding peace there or be horrified by its conservatives ideas#while never digging on the *why*. like yeah all this 'what happens in the village stays in the village and everyone else is an enemy'#but they never dig into why that mentality was born to begin with and how incest there#actively helps this mentality to continue on like you legit still have grandmas telling you to marry ur cousin#anw. i dont know what i was going for w this rant. it originated from knowing that my aunt turned local saint#was actually schizophrenic and was prone to paranoid attacks and mental breakdowns similar to mine#fun stuff!
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returning to an ancient payday guy idea. circus lion mask. cheery veneer over a lifetime of familial abuse + exploitation that ended in extreme violence
#guy who had his dependence on his family held over his head + used as justification for awful shit who first resorts to small time--#--robberies to provide money due to his inability to hold a bog standard job. once entirely separated from them he starts targeting--#--art museums and such instead despite many disadvantages to doing so as a lone wolf (inability to fence them w/o connections. less--#--resources to case joints. more strict security w tools incapable of keeping up. etc) bc hes Completely caught up in this newfound--#-freedom and has very little idea how to function entirely independently. does not get better when he gets taken on by the payday gang#cannot remember his old name. lionel is far too on the nose but its the first thing that comes to mind lol
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