#how you go from being a Fragile Innocent White Woman to the Scary Evil White Man. you know basic bioessentialist garbage

[caffeineandsociety]

Do you notice how being progressive is in vogue these days, but you just don't want to put in the work? Want that feminist cred, but don't want to have to consider you may, potentially, at some point in your life, possibly have had a teeny tiny misconception or two about how gender works? Well, have I got a solution for you! Welcome to:

A Quick And Dirty Guide To Turning Trad Gender Roles Into Feminist Theory!

How does it work? Why, it's mostly just a simple phrasebook! In order to do the bulk of the work, just rephrase your statements like so:

"Men should be the breadwinners; women belong in the home" -> "Ladies, fuck the grind and hold out for a guy who treats you like you deserve, don't settle for some lazy bastard who makes you support him!"

"Women are too weak to hack it in the dog-eat-dog real world, their job is to be wives and mothers, they're not tough or competitive enough to do anything else" -> "Women are socialized to be the caring, kind, Safe gender"

"Men are just stronger than women and that just plain makes them more capable and competent" -> "Men are stronger than women and that makes them SCARY and DANGEROUS"

"Boys will be boys, men are just GOING to be crude especially toward women, get used to it" -> "Men aren't taught self-control or manners and teaching them NOW is not your job at best and a hopeless endeavor at worst, they're too far gone, they're dangerous by nature, and there's nothing to be done about it, so they're not worth your time" (or, "kill all men"/"all men are trash")

"Men just can't help themselves, if you don't want men sexually harassing/abusing/assaulting you then don't tempt them, you're totally asking for it, how do you expect men to control themselves?" -> "We must protect the sanctity of Women's Spaces; any woman who wants to let a man in is a traitor who can't be trusted, doesn't she KNOW what will happen if we let men close? Men can't be trusted to behave ever so the only way to be safe is to keep women away from them" (or, "kill all men"/"all men are trash")

"Men wearing dresses is degrading and a sign of weakness" -> "men wearing dresses is cute and funny for...some reason, but it's totally empowering! If he doesn't find it to be, that's not a matter of personal taste, it's 100% toxic masculinity and THAT'S shameworthy, if we're laughing at him THAT'S why, it's not because WE think it's degrading!"

"Man up, don't be a pussy, men don't cry" + "MOC/disabled men/queer men are a danger to white men and especially Their Women" -> "Talking about how maleness and masculinity intersect with oppressed statuses is taking away from and talking over women, we need to focus on women's needs, stop making things about you, you get enough support already, cry more fragile male tears about it"

"Women are too frivolous and impulsive and prone to mindless bandwagoning to deserve agency, from finances to their own bodies" -> "We have to fight the coercive marketing influences in society looking to prey on vulnerable women" - BONUS: you can even avoid reckoning with certain forms of transphobia with this one, just by railing against the evil plastic surgery industry coercing poor, innocent little girls into irreversible things they're sure to regret - just make sure to say "trans women are women and trans men are men" in your next internet post, so people don't get the "wrong" idea! ;)

Some things might take a little more work than just find-and-replace, but with a little practice, they're super easy too:

"Everything women and especially teenage girls like is stupid and frivolous" -> "Everything white/straight girls like is problematic" - now, you can't just say it outright, you have to put in a little work to make the association from case to case, but with just a little creativity, you too can spin hating on pop music and current popular fashions and pumpkin spice into anti-racist praxis!

"Women shouldn't have sex drives, they should put out for their husbands but otherwise be pure and chaste and DEFINITELY not actually seek sex out themselves" - SAY that women's sexual liberation is important (to an extent), but spin every possible example as being harmful somehow. Here are a few good stock examples:

-> Romance novels and fanfiction are too full of tropes that tell men that sexual abuse is okay and teach women that it's what a good boyfriend SHOULD do (look, you get to undermine women's intelligence by implying that they collectively can't tell fantasy from reality, even!)

-> M/M shipping/BL is just for straight women who fetishize gay men (BONUS: you can call any gay man who likes it a self-hating traitor to the community and deny the identities of trans mlm with this one!)

-> Free The Nipple will traumatize children and possibly even normalize child abuse

-> Attraction to anime men is pedophilic because even the ones who are nominally over 18 look too young to actually be (BONUS: you get to imply that Japan is an evil den of pedophiles and/or avoid confronting any biases about POC and apparent age! Racism? Of course not, this is feminism!)

-> Attraction to celebrities is for creepy people with no sense of boundaries, ESPECIALLY if you talk about it

-> And, of course, you can pathologize most cases of sexual forwardness in women, no matter how slight or how willing to accept no for an answer, as a maladaptive trauma response, if you just give it a little thought!

Congratulations! By following this guide, you too are now A Feminist, without ever having to do any of that pesky introspection that might make you feel bad!

[diedinflorida]

there are a lot of hateful transmasc people out there, there are misogynists, a lot of guys willing to use their masculinity in shitty ways. i wish we had healthy support systems to lift guys out of that instead of the hatred they get sucked into when people turn their backs on them for the "sin" of being men. i've seen it happen, i've experienced it. a transmasculine person is one of the "good females/femmes" (even if they dont id as such) until they reach a certain point (whether they start T or simply reject the all men are evil rhetoric) and all solidarity is lost. of course that's going to feel bad. if you're continuously isolated and told these same t/erf talking points over and over again, you're going to become bitter. i'm fighting bitterness every day, seeing so many posts shitting on people like me. i have one person to talk to about this, who is my sibling (who isn't transmasc). i have no support group, no close friends, and i feel like if i were more inclined towards being a shithead, i would be taking it out on internet strangers who post transphobia. we desperately need these discussions and words and communities, unless people want to breed more awful guys who take it out on women.

really though it fucking sucks. you lose the community you had because you've "escaped oppression" (god i wish). you lose friends because their opinions on your identity are more important than your identity. you are rejected from spaces that welcomed you before because you're not feminine enough to be safe anymore. suddenly you're one of the Bad Guys, and there's nothing you can do about it. you're not allowed to talk about it. you have to bottle it up because don't you want to be just like a cis man? and if you do talk about it you're upholding the patriarchy. there's no winning.

i dont expect lots of people to see this post but please approach with sympathy and not hostility. men and masculine people should not be your enemy. the patriarchy sucks for us too

[metalheadsforblacklivesmatter]

~ Hello,

This is a friendly reminder that referring to a black woman as strong, especially if she is dark or black-skinned, is not a compliment.

For too long, black women have been constantly referred to a strong as a way to ignore the fact that our feelings, our body, and our thoughts matter, as well as our mental health, and shit like Hollywood (aka, The Pedo Paradise ™) continues to churn out bullshit movies depicting brown or dark-skinned black women, especially if they’re older, to be women who are not in need of any help, or of any support whatsoever.

Tell me. When was the last time you’ve seen a black woman on television, or on any popular media, being depicted as someone who is soft-hearted, delicate, kind, fragile and in need of support or of saving? Hm…?

When was the last time you’ve seen a black woman being shown in the same light as those white women in those Victorian/Edwardian paintings, and illustrations, being depicted as the epitome of innocence? Hmmmmmm?

Exactly.

I remember one of my non-black friends talking about how she admired Amanda Waller from Suicide Squad for her hardened exterior, because she was attempting to find some sort of good within a very damaging trope that I brought up about the character, and I had to remind her of how many times that type of black woman was constantly shown in the media, and how it was damaging, and not at all a compliment to be constantly shown in such a light.

In tv shows, movies, etc, the dark skinned black woman who is hardened and cold, and ruthless… I’ve seen that type of black woman so many damn times it’s ridiculous. But this type of character for black women is very, very common.

People sure do love throwing a black woman into a villain role, or a role that deems them to be intimidating, or almost scary, even.

We always take the place of someone who is feared, and is looked at as someone who would instantly kill you, or punish you with an evil eye, or a simple glance. We are looked at as someone who is almost not-human… Someone who sends a chill down every single white person’s spine because we’re just SO SCARY…

So no, I don’t care for Amanda Waller’s character. And I damn sure don’t care at all for any other Amanda Wallers that rid the everyday media. Especially since they end up getting treated like throwaway villains and antagonists, while white villains get treated like actual characters who matter to the story.

And as the villain or the antagonist, the black woman’s backstory, which explains who she is, doesn’t matter at all, nor does their complexities as a human being. The characters simply see what the black woman shows them, and refuse to look into anything beyond that. Because why should we care about a black woman being a complex human being, when we can simply use her as a way to scare people? Even though this is a story, and we have a chance to go deep into her backstory, in order to fully understand everything that built her into who she is… why should we? We’ll just toss her to the side like the rest of them. Who cares? She’s just bait.

…

But let’s go into deep, deep detail about this white villain instead!

I’d rather much see someone who is like me being represented for once.

A black woman who is soft, and who isn’t also light-skinned, racially ambiguous, or mixed. Cause last time I checked, I don’t recall being light-skinned, racially ambiguous, or mixed. I wear glasses, I know how I look. I’m brown, I’m unambiguously black, and proud of it.

Someone who is allowed to be soft, delicate, and fragile without the story suddenly becoming some sort of black trauma plot to punish them for being anything other than guarded and cold.

Someone who is simply a human being doing human being things without having to endure The Struggle™ due to racist pieces of shits who can’t stand the idea of a black woman NOT suffering, or causing fear as some sort of ominous, shadowy Other™ lurking over their every move.

That is all. ~

~ Pinkie.

[visd3stele]

magic and kids

summary:

A/N: I really hope you like it. Thank you for your requests. Loved writing it.

art credit: @phantomrin

TW: none

@britishbookworm2 requested (if you want to leave a request as well, click)

masterlist

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

It's been four years since Taryn decided the mortal world would be a more suitable place to raise her child than Elfhame. Even if her sister was now High Queen, the fairies would still make life hard for her and her baby. Maybe not on purpose, she admits it. But magic runs wild, free and unstoppable. Used to it, the Fae Folk barely notices the dangers. And frankly, they don't care. Not allowed to use it on humans as cruelly as before, some meaner courts claim innocent ignorance. How can an entire society of enchanted beings change overnight? How could they be expected to adjust to human fragility all of a sudden?

So Taryn took her baby, promised her sister to visit and fled to Heather and Vivi's. It wasn't as hard as she'd thought. Getting used to the mortal world, that's it. And if her baby had longer canine than normal, or his ears sharpened to pointy edges to the top, it passed unnoticed. Her son certainly didn't stood out the way Vivi did, even with light brown eyes that looked orange in the sun and rusty red hair. He didn't need much glamouring either, not like Oak, Oriana or Madoc. By the time she sent him to preschool his hair was long enough to cover the ears and no one seemed to notice the teeth even without magic.

For all the talk Taryn did on how she wanted her son to be free of his father in all ways, snapping at Oak when the boy tried to teach him magic before he knew how to properly walk and forbidding her family to bring Fairyland up, she named him Renard.

Fitting, though not what she should have done. Maybe part of her can't let Locke go, not entirely. She knew he didn't particularly wanted the baby, that everything he promised her were pretty lies. But for a few months, it has been real. Their marriage, their love, their lives. She saw her dreams come true, one after another: the mistress of an important household, throwing parties for courtiers, motherhood.

Now that everything she wanted snaped broken in tiny little pieces carried away by harsh winter wind, Taryn Duarte couldn't phantom having her child become like his father.

"It has nothing to do with magic, for fuck's sake!" Vivi exploded once, after Taryn better than not threw Oak and Oriana - who came to visit - out of the apartment for trying to reach Renard's magic. "He won't become a sly, selfish fox if he can change appearance or grow horses out of leaves. It's all about his up-bringing!"

"I want him to be normal, Vivi! That's why I took him here!"

Renard has been barely one year old when the argument happened. But it was enough to take his mother's words to heart.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

Four years old Renard and twelve years old Oak played outside, jumping in crusty piles of autumn leaves. The princeling hadn't given up his plans to teach his cousin magic. He refused to let go of such opportunity: a friend he didn't have to hide of, one he could play with like he used to in Elfhame.

"Hey, Ren-Ren," Oak said, "check this out!" The older boy held up his hand, brows furrowed in concentration, lip grazed between his teeth. Nothing happened for an alarming amount of time. And then... the leaves twirl around the two cousins, splashing then with guts of wind and scarce dew as it swept them up in a friendly tornado.

Renard chuckled in delight, stretching to catch some of the closer leaves. But as soon as he touched one, the whole thing fell apart. "No!" Do it again, Oak. Do it again."

"I'm sorry, Ren-Ren," Oak faked a yawned and laid on the ground. "Magic is very serious business. Very consuming. I'm too tired to even move." He let his eyes close dramatically, watching Renard between his lashes. Truth be told, every time he did magic Oak felt good. Vibrant. As if the earth itself reached out and gave him life. But Renard didn't need to know that yet. He can definitely learn it by himself if Oak's plan works out.

The younger boy pouted and dropped on the ground. "Not fair," he muttered to himself.

"You know, Ren-Ren, you're half fae. That means there's a pretty good chance you're magic too."

"No, I'm not."

"You can't know that. Come on, give it a try!"

"No, Oak! I'm not magic. I'm not like Father, I'm like Mom. Like Mom, just like that."

Oak straightened himself, but didn't rose from the ground. "Ok, Ren-Ren. Listen up. Magic is not bad. It's fun. Don't you think it's fun?"

"Yes!" Renard nodded enthusiastically. "It's super fun. When you do it, Oak." At that the named boy own enthusiasm faded away in an instant.

"Thank you, Ren-Ren," he deadpanned. "But do you know what's more fun than watching me practice magic?" Not giving the kid a chance to answer, to even take in the question, really, Oak said "To do it yourself."

"Do you really think I should try, Oak?" Clearly, the little boy was attracted to magic. And clearly something was stopping him. But his older cousin slowly made whatever that was seem less big and scary, dragging him along in his qualms.

"Totally!"

Renard pushed his lips forward with his tongue, sticking it out through the gap in his teeth. Caramel eyes shone with desire, his red hair flown around by a cold, pleasant wind. "Ok," he gave in, as expected. "How do I do it?"

The smirk that lightened up Oak's face can only be describes as evil. Though no ill intention hid behind it. Only the knowledge his plan worked out, just like his sister, Jude's.

"Listen to me very carefully, alright? There is not just one way to make magic, Ren-Ren. You have to find your own. But for now, try the basics. Think really hard on what you want to happen. Something easy. Got anything in mind?" Renard frowned, then his eyes landed on a tree which still had some green leaves on its branches and nodded.

"Perfect! Now, imagine whatever you want to happen. Imagine it happening. Are you imagining?"

"Yes."

"No!" Oak groaned. "If you're paying attention to me, then it means you're not focusing on magic."

"But how will I know what to do if I don't listen to you?"

"I told you! Magic is your own, Ren-Ren. It comes naturally. So, dig it up. Use your imagination."

Renard tried to shut out the world around him, picturing the sole tree in his mind. A warm pull tugged at him and he followed. His magic, he tried not to dwell on the joy, but instead focusing on his practice. His magic reaching out. Because he reached out first.

The boy allowed the warmth to take control, guiding him through it. The tree now carved in his mind by detail wasn't enough. He needed action. But just imagining the leaves to fall wouldn't do. Renard couldn't say how exactly he knew it. He just did. Something more tender was needed. The half fae kid had to imply what he wants and trust his magic to follow his lead.

So Renard made himself cold. Chilly. Feeling a breeze of wind creeping inside his clothes, whipping his skin gently. Enough to rip a leaf off a tree, though. Which it did. The wind he summoned couldn't be felt, not really. Only by himself and the green leaves that departed one by one from their branch as if plucked by an invisible hand.

Oak gasped. Then grinned. And then he laughed. Renard broke free of his concentration, pleased to see his magic didn't falter. Not until every and each green leaf from his chosen tree didn't fall. The sight made him still in awe for a couple of seconds. But soon enough he joined his cousin with a bubble laugh, jumping up and down and running to tackle Oak in a tight hug.

"I did it, Oak! I did it!"

"Yes, you did, Rem-Ren. Indeed, you did. Congrats!"

"Can we show auntie Vivi? And auntie Oriana?"

When Madoc and Oriana first came in the mortal world, Taryn wanted nothing to do with them. But years of being cared for by the blue skinned, white haired, pink eyes woman showed their tale. She agreed to see her, but only her. She could be part of her child life, if she wanted.

"Sure. But don't you want to show your mom first?"

"Mom and auntie Heather work a lot. We can show them later." Renard said, but he felt his magic shrinking at the thought of his mother. His Mom didn't like his father. And his magic comes from his father. Is that why his magic doesn't want to reveal itself near Taryn? He hoped it was just him overthinking it, because he loves his Mom and wants to share this with her.

°•▪︎~▪︎•°

Oak stayed with auntie Oriana, who was his mother, so Renard couldn't bring himself to be upset over it. He would want to be with his mother as much as he can as well. So he did a little trick for auntie Vivi, who told him to stay where he was, brought a camera and ordered him to glamour the tea cups again. Renard made them look like pumpkins, since the Halloween being over the corner made him impossibly anxious - in a good way.

Turns out even mortal technology can be fooled by fae's magic. Vivi showed the clip to Heather, who coed over him until Taryn came home.

"Hello, treasure. How was your day? Wanna give mommy a kiss?"

Renard jumped into his mother's arms, pressing a strong kiss on her cheek before starting to tell her about all the fun he had with cousin Oak. "And then he said I should try magic too."

Tamryn stilled. "And?"

"Look, Mom!"

Renard broke a vase, then, with a twitch of his fingers put it back together. "Auntie Vivi says I'm a natural."

"Does she? That's amazing, sweetheart."

But his mother didn't sound thrilled. In fact, her smile wasn't even a smile at all, but a thin line. "I'm sorry, mommy. I knew I shouldn't've done it, but I didn't know why. Now I know: you don't want me using my magic. It'll make me bad, like father."

Renard pushed his lips up front, scrunched his nose up, wiggled his toes, all in an atempt to stop the tears hurting his eyes from falling. When he realized it was in vain, he took off running to his room.

When Taryn entered minutes later she found her son curled on his left side in the middle of the bed, hugging a black goat plushie his uncle Cardan gave him on his birthday tight to his chest. She hated herself for causing the pain struck look on her son's face.

"Hey, sweetie."

"Hi, Mom." Renard wiped his nose with his jumper's sleeve.

"I'm so sorry, sweetie. Mommy was just scared, but that's not your fault. You could never be bad. Magic is not bad. Of course you can practice all you want, but we'll settle some ground, basic rules first. Ok?"

"Really?"

"Rules you can never, ever break. Really."

"Thank you, Mommy! You're the best! Just wait until Oak hears about it."

A/N: Renard means fox in french. Also: oops, guess I finished it earlier than expected and didn't really felt like waiting days to post it 😅