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#how's everyone doin i hope you're well im okay
winterskyfirefly · 9 months
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okay so e2 really just sucker punches the you wear fine things well scene home into your heart and so i suppose i should be ready for some REAL FEELS now
HOOOOOOLY SHIT ED PUPPYDOG BROKEN HEARTED EYES OVER STEDE IS JUST… WOW. that is some FINE acting. THE MOST DESPONDANT MAN I HAVE EVER SEEN. THE WETTEST SADDEST MOST PATHETIC MEW MEW EVER.
hes so dramatic he speaks to me on a spiritual level i love him with all my heart i protecc blackbeard get over your ass and go find stede
HES SO DRAMATIC PUSHING THE LITTLE DOLLS OFF THE EDGE I CANT WITH HIM JFC
i just noticed the one is painted as him i cant i cant im actually laughing my ass off right now this is so over the top i cannot handle him
ED ILL GIVE YOU A HUNDRED DOLLARS TO GO TO THERAPY
can i just say kristians looking fucKING GOOD
i love zheng si yao im so glad that this is a plot line already
LUCIUS!!!!!!!!
OKAY I AM 100000% ON BOARD WITH THE CUDDLE SNUGGLE ATTACK PILE EVERYONE GIVE LUCIUS HUGS NOW!!!!!!
i love how much by the way, rewatching that scene, wee john loves the fabric of things again hes so sweet i love him
BLACK PETE/LUCIUS HUG <3 <3 im just paused staring at the hug scene and oh man have i missed black pete too i didnt even talk about him on the last episode and i really just am gonna have to rewatch these tomorrow too for sure
BLACK PETE LUCIUS KISS REWATCHING THIS 2000000 TIMES
black pete lucius i cant deal with this thank you for bringing this back just kiss forever and be happy
you have impeccable balance babe
ive missed the babe
i did not realize frenchie was supposed to kill ed
OH MY GOD JIM I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU'RE AMPUTATING THIS IS AWFUL
dealers choice
LUCIUS YOU THEATER CHILD GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW AND TALK TO STEDE
i honestly love whatever the fuck the swede is whatever his plotline is its just… incoherent and also correct
did she find a new love? olivia?
oH GOD THANKS FOR THAT SHOT THAT'S DISGUSTING THE LEG
jim stop playing with the leg part
i was hoping for that kiss kinda i hope olu understands :/
love your earrings too jim
oohhhhh noooo olu you fucked up
i will repeat until the end of time when olu smiles he looks like sunshine
ohhh man more lucius drama i love it the dramatic smoking you fool you absolute fool
ed and izzy are just… i want them to have a HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP AND NOT THIS
con is such a good actor i am so glad i have now seen him i must watch more
okay i do not believe izzy shot himself at all i do not refuse to believe it it didnt happen it was something else
lmao yeah go ahead steer into an oncoming storm you are all such DRAMA CHILDREN I LOVE YOU
oh stede <3 talking about your family you love them so much
WE NEED MORE STEDES IN THE WORLD OKAY?????????
lucius what the hell these stories are horrific
BLACKBEARD. COOL YOUR FUCKING TITS. STOP DESTROYING YOUR BOAT. LOVE IS NOT DEAD YOU FUL.
oh so we're really doin a bdsm sorta joke huh
well im redefining lucius and pete's relationship now
oh okay is this where mermaids come in oh guess not that singing tho
im also not gonna talk about how hot jim bloody mouthed is
GOOD FOR YOU IZZY
So did he like… graze himself or phineus gage himself i do not understand
so anyways as someone who grew up on lotr it makes me happy to see weta still doing special effects stuff <3 <3
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sonianvmd · 3 years
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thh characters with a crush on you
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warnings: none, maybe some swearing but otherwise nothing major
oH and mentions of murder and death but this is danganronpa so im going to assume u expected as much
a/n: so we kickin this blog off with a bang, writing for LITERALLY THE ENTIRE TRIGGER HAPPY HAVOC CAST LMFAOAOAOAO (excluding hifumi, yasuhiro, and the two despairs doe bc i’ve already made that clear)
also some character’s sections are shorter than others im sorry i just couldnt think of as many bullet points for them *tiktok cry emoji*
edit: I FORGOT CELSESTE FU K SORRY
spoilers under the cut!!
★ 彡 ★ ミ ★ 彡 ★ ミ ★
makoto naegi
when he realizes he likes you, he doesn’t necessarily panic or anything, but he does get nervous
nervous around you, that is
y’all saw how he was with sayaka
if he says anything that might sound intimate then he’ll immediately rephrase it or reassure he didn’t mean anything by it
he really only does have good intentions but his wording just kinda flops sometimes
he appreciates how you listen to him and value what he says
you don't make him feel dumb or inferior compared to a bunch of ultimates with actual talents
he’ll muster up the courage to tell you eventually
let’s hope his luck comes through 😁
byakuya togami
now when THIS man realizes he likes you, he a bitch nigga bout it 😐
he can't believe he fell for a common plebeian such as you
but it was hard not to
the way you preferred to get to the point
the way you were aware of your situation and didn't sugarcoat how you felt about it, although you certainly were nicer with it than him
he's ruthless
anyways
you knew your priorities and spent no time trying to use your resources
he noticed how much you had in common; in you, he saw himself
and we all know how this mf feels about himself 😐
he’ll be quick to defend you in class trials
he won’t realize he’s doing it but he just subconsciously protects you
but just because he doesn't notice it, don't mean the rest of the class brushes past it as well
yeah they on his ass LMFAOO
kyoko kirigiri
kyoko is very good at keeping her composure so she won’t be very obvious
she’ll probably just hang around you more
she’ll also defend you in class trials, calmly
“oh, it couldn’t have been [name]. i remember seeing them in their dorm around the time the murder took place.”
hifumi probably finna say some dumb shit like “aye what was you doin in their dorm doe” but anyways
she finds you respectable
if you have anything to contribute, she’ll let you take the floor
when she tells you, she’s very composed, but also very indirect LMFAO
she’s not too sure on how to express her interest in you but maybe she’ll go about it like “well, [name], now we’ve made it here, would you like to step back into the world with me?” or somethin else along those lines idk
take her hand
pls
toko fukawa
y’all know her whole “master togami” shtick
yeah so 😁😁😁😁
no but fr, toko ofc still has her borderline stalkerish 🧍🏾‍♀️ tendencies
she’ll often find herself staring at you, either in the library or in the morning meetings everyday at breakfast
but she isn’t as straight forward as she is with byakuya
i actually think she’d be mad shy and non confrontational
the whole thing she kept up with him ? yeah, never again
if you approach her first then she’ll be able to get a few words out but for most of the conversation, she’ll just nervously play with her braids
you’ll most likely put two and two together
unless ur a makoto kinnie bc then you’ll have to wait till someone else puts it in place for u but anyways
if you decide to approach her about it, you’ll kinda be backing her into a corner bc she’s just bad at deflecting things lmao
she’ll eventually confess (begrudgingly but hey i mean its better than nothing)
expect much stuttering and a gesture like giving you a small gift
and not to be that writer that uses japanese terms in english writing but toko seems like a tsundere but not really if that makes sense?? so she’d probably shove it in your hands and if you try to say something then she’ll just try to play it off as not a big deal lol
calls u a baka 😍😍
aoi asahina
i know y’all all see how she is with sakura
yeah.
aoi is the kind of person who’d like to spend time with their crush rather than shy away from them
she values you and your friendship very much
bring her donuts
just trust me bring her donuts
she doesn’t really realize she’s into you like that for a while but believe me, she is, the whole time
and yeah i think she’d be nervous to tell you bc that’s just natural but ultimately she’d be cool about it
uh oh looks like we goin for a swim
sakura ogami
similar to kyoko, she’s very calm
despite her big and bad appearance, she really is a sweet girl
she cares for you and your well-being very much
will indeed go on x games mode for you
the way she tells you is very sincere and well spoken
kith her
naow
im sorry this is like the shortest one i couldn’t think of much for her 😔😔
leon kuwata
flirtatious ass mf
and he’s lightskin
so this just cannot go well
y’all know that bit where it’s like the guy yawns and stretches his arms up and then wraps one around your shoulder
yeah that’s literally him LMFAOO
he’s very confident
he was fairly well known with the ladies at his old school so you know he’s rhockin wit it ‼️
but
you feel.. different than usual ??
those girls were just lil flings n dates bc he was nice enough to accept their confessions and it boosted his ego anyway so it was a win win
but you
he was genuinely interested in you since he had saw you the first time
he didn’t just acknowledge your appearance
he learnt about your personality and your hobbies and what you liked and such, and he really cared and wanted to hear you talk about it all
he felt the need to really make an effort to show you how much he respected and had affections for you
he doesn't tell you in a grand way
probably just asks you out to a movie or somethin
he's chillin
mondo owada
you know
for being the biggest, baddest, most respected biker gang leader
or just for being in a biker gang period
mondo’s a huge softie lol
yeah he gets violent but he’s a sweet guy who cares about and is loyal to his friends
so mfs need to be nice to you
or they gettin whooped
when he decides it’s time to tell you how he feels, he thinks over his words and he’s all confident there’s no way you’d reject him but then he sees you in the halls and goes 🧍🏾 LMFAOOO
he’ll push through but it’s like he’ll walk up to you and look away from you because he refuses eye contact and just go
“so y/n, would you wanna.. tch.. come to a drive-in movie with me or somethin’?... dumbass.”
real smooth mondo i think you got em good job
please tease him LMFAOO it’d be so funny
he’d probably yell but you can tell he’s not mad so you just keep going with it
but once you’re done tormenting him, you do agree to the movie, don’t worry 🙏🏾
also mondo would call his s/o doll
that is all
chihiro fujisaki
my fav dude in a dress <3
chihiro would be quite shy, but that’s just how he is tbh so no surprise there
he’s very kind so he’d check up on you often just to see how you are
he cares about you v much
the way he confesses is one that consists of a red face as he offers you a box of candy or something similar
and he’d feel honored that you reciprocate his feelings
he’d be very scared to tell you his secret but once he does, he’s delighted to hear it doesn’t make any difference to you
he doesn’t know how he got so lucky with you
not only because woooo they like me back but also because you like him despite,, well everything about him LMFAOO
sweet lil boy
i’d feel like he’d talk about you to alter ego a lot
and when u meet the program for the first time, he’s like “oh! you must be [name]! master’s told me all about you :)”
sobbing i miss him
kiyotaka ishimaru
okay here’s the thing
if taka were to like someone
i can’t tell whether he’d be more strict because he doesn’t want them to get in trouble (and also so it would hopefully divert any suspicion that he DOES like you since he treats you the same as everyone else, only more)
or if he’d hold back more because he favors them LMFAOO
so imma write a lil bit for both
in the case that he was even stricter:
he’d prefer to be around you because he believes the best way he can make sure you stay out of trouble is to make sure you don’t get into any in the first place
of course it’s impossible to monitor you every second of every day but he does his best to make sure you’re doing well
if he sees you do anything out of line, he’s shutting that shit down IMMEDIATELY
but in the case he let up:
he’d still lecture you but noticeably less than the other students
if your feet were resting on top of a desk, he’d ask you to move them and then leave you alone rather than yell at you and forcibly move them himself
if you notice his behavior towards you in comparison to the other students do not tease him about it he will go as red as his eyes /hj
either way he’s confessing to you with a polite but exaggerated bow while holding out a well thought out letter with both hands
sayaka maizono
she will tell you
idk why but i feel like she’d be straight up lol
she’d make sure she’s sincere
she is the ultimate pop idol and all so she wants to make sure you know that she really does like you and isn’t playing a sick joke on you or anything
ok bc
while i do think she’d tell you
i’d feel like she’d be a little indirect just to see how you feel
like she’d give you a free ticket to one of her upcoming concerts with a kind smile
and naturally, you're like :o
and of course you come to support her
and seeing you smile at her from the crowd and cheer her on was the encouragement she needed to push her to ask you out
for real this time
she asks if you wanna come to a concert with her and ur like “oh yeah i love ur shows!!” bc ur dumb and then she’s like “no i mean.. for another artist” and eventually it hits you that she’s asking you out and ur like “oH YEAH YEAH SURE THAT SOUNDS GREAT YEAH OK” LMFAOO
———
i really hope that this is good LMFAOO this is my first time writing for dr so 😃👍🏾
fun fact i finished toko’s section first and taka’s last 😁😁
and i’d like to thank @mius-imagination @bloodygir n the rest of the discord for helping me figure some of these characters out *simultaneously whips and nae naes*
bye ive been working on this for like weeks this took forever
———
edit: here’s a deleted section bc i kept blanking for this character 😍
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h0neyjaehyun · 4 years
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☁︎ 𝐁𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐥𝐲 ☁︎
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Summary // Tali gets to see a couple people who she hasn’t seen in a bit and she misses their presence.
Characters // Talia Flores + Bang Chan + Lee Felix + Hwang Hyunjin (ft. Nct 127)
Era / Year // March 2018
Word Count //
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Tali was doing some stages with Nct 127 and she wanted to say hi to a group of boys who she hasn’t seen a bit because of her schedule but since they debuted and got the same month comeback she was eager to see them again since they talk mostly through calls and text messages she wanted to take the chance to see them again. She finds them, so precious to her, they have saved her through many hardships before Nct.
Did Nct know them, nope, they know the group exists, but doesn’t know Tali knows them personally.They have seen Tali talking on the phone with them doesn’t mean they know who they are, all they know it was a couple of Tali’s friends.They didn’t even know if they were a male or female (or non binary we don’t discriminate here :)...side note though please tell me if that happens I will edit it :] ). 
Tali was always secretive, not necessarily in a bad way; she just rather the things come out gradually instead of mentioning, mostly because some things in her life to people might seem like she would want attention...in her eyes anyway.The boys always say it's okay to tell them anything, she would always say okay with a sweet smile but the boys learned she is not like that. She doesn’t reveal it, she likes the “secret” themselves to be revealed by themselves.For example the boys didn’t know that she had a twin brother until he sent a care package from his travels so she won’t be homesick.
She reacted so nonchalantly, “Yeah I have a twin brother.”She deadpanned just blinking, wondering in her mind what was the big deal. She always thought it doesn't matter how much of the person's past she knows, as long she can trust and feel comfortable with them knowing that they're gonna be with her is all she needs. A person's past does not define them completely, it just defines how they became who they are today. Her past was not the best, probably one the most concerning past people close to her have heard and yet she is considered one of the sweetest,softest, and understanding people in the industry. 
“Well why didn’t you tell us you had a brother????”One of the boys said with a shocked voice on how she didn’t tell them.She thought about it resulting in “I don’t really know, I don't really like talking about my family so usually people get surprised that I have a brother. So my reason is, I just don’t like talking about my family, thats about it.” They were surprised at her response, especially about not liking to talk about her family and asking them to leave the subject, they were hesitant but decided to respect the female’s wishes and left it.        
They learned not to ask questions about her past cause she feels uncomfortable that includes the group she is about to go see
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“Tali where are you going?” Johnny questioned the female that was about to leave the waiting room.Everyone looked at her confused as well, she usually stays to take a nap and stuff since she always has a busy schedule.She turned with her heels looking at Johnny “I’m just gonna see some friends I haven’t seen in awhile I’ll be back within 20 minutes tops.”She said while turning back around walking before they can follow or protest about her going alone.
“Sooo whatcha doin’~“ she said with a cute voice, Hyunjin looked at her and back at the crane.
Tali turns the corner and sees a tall handsome boy looking at the crane thinking if he should play,she saw the camera remembering she is still an idol, but thought eh screw it. She sneaked up behind the boy and yelled.
“BOO!’, he jumped and turned to see a familiar face, he whined saying
“ AHhHhh~, oh my gosh Butterfly...you gonna be the death of me.” Hyunjin said while having a hand on his chest being the dramatic llama he is (we love him).Tali giggled like a child which she doesn’t usually do since she is always a concerned mother around Nct even with the older ones. So this was a new side of Tali, fans were adoring. Hyunjin gave her an eye smile and hugged her.Them forgetting that they are idols which fans adored.
“Seeing if i’m able to get a plushie...” Hyunjin dragged while looking at Tali looking at the llama.He smiled to himself.
“Do you want the llama, Butterfly?” he asked with a soft and sweet comforting voice, let me tell you STAYS AND N-CITIZENS WERE WHIPPED FOR THE DUO.Tali looked at him and then the plushie in thought.
“Yes please” she said with hopeful eyes that the handsome boy will win her the plushie. He looked at her eyes and he couldn’t resists his Butterfly, he smile sweetly so much that both fandoms thought they were being attacked.
”Then one llama plushie coming up” he sang starting to play the game.
They let her go finally.They went back to Hyunjin about to win her a bunny, she smiled when the crane hooked on the cute bunny finally and falling in the shoot. Hyunjin grabbing it looking back at her with a princely smile loving the look on her eyes seeing she has fallen in love with the stuffed animals he has won her.Felix looked excited for some reason which made Tali looking at him with confusion.
After good 5 minutes he got her 2 plushies and her eyes lit up when he did.Seeing her eyes light up like that made him want to do it again just to see the light again.Then they got joined by two other people that she has been wanting to see.One practically tackling her in a hug another hugging her gently on the other side of her both in unison.
“Hello our Butterfly.”they both sang.“Hello my 2 aussies” she said with childish giggle.
”Its us!”
Felix said cutely which made her confused but found him adorable.
”Oh he means that the animals are us.”Chan said with realization dawning on everyone's face. Hyunjin was the llama, Chan was the wolf, and lastly Felix was the cute bunny.She smiled to herself looking them.
“Then I will name them Hyunjin, Chan and Lix'' Tali said smiling widely happy to see her friends and naming her new plushies after them. They all looked at her and melted on how cute she looked with all the plushies in her arms looking at them.
Then realization dawned on her that she has to go perform in 5 minutes or a little more.She looked at them.
“Oh my gosh I have to go” she said a little panicked, the boys knew what she meant and found it funny she almost left but Chan stopped her.
The boys looked at her then looked at the machine noticing a camera…” Well, I hope you accept our friendship, and Tali FIGHTING” Chan said saying good luck with her boys when they see this video, cause it probably earn her a talk.
“You're forgetting something” he said with a cheeky smile.She looked at all three of them shaking her head with a smile.She kissed Chan’s cheek, Felix’s nose, and lastly Hyunjin’s forehead with a little struggle.
”Now I gotta go, tell the boys I said hi okay? BYYE!” She running away.
Meanwhile with Tali
“HEYY IM, BACK SORRY I LOST TRACK OF TIMEE” she said kinda out of breath from bowing and running. The boys laughed at her saying it was fine but, Mark noticed so plushies.
”Ay, where did you win those your not good at the crane game” He said with a teasing smile.Tali just playfully glared him pretending to be offend.
“Wow i’m hurt, either way my friend won me these.” She stuck out her tongue.The guys laughed at their interaction and continued to go to the stage.
Haechan thought in the back of his mind Who are they??.So during the performance he thought on how to find out who her friends are because he wants to be sure his Tali is safe.But the next day he didn’t have to look. The interaction already went viral.
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“TALIA FLORES EXPLAIN” Haechan yelled walking into the living room where the girl was sitting confused with what the younger boy was meaning.
”Hmm?” she tilts her head cutely.
”No no no don't pull that cute thing with me.” Haechan pointed at her looking away from her not to fall for the non intentional cute act.
“What are you rambling about Haechan?” Mark who was now getting comfortable on Tali getting ready to cuddle since they just came back from practice and tired.
”LOOK!”Haechan said, shoving his phone in Mark's face.Mark grabbed the phone out of annoyance, all the members crowded around them out of curiousness. Then Tali realized what they were looking at...its was a video of her and Stray Kids Chan, Hyunjin, and Felix at the crane Hyunjin winning her the 3 stuffed animals that are currently on her bed.But that wasn’t the best part, oh no, they heard them call her Butterfly and Tali acting like HER AGE.BUT THEN THE EDITORS KEPT IN THE KISS OF THE CHEEKS AND NOSE ETC.All in scary unison looked at Tali who has been quiet not knowing how to react.
She was about to book it because she doesn’t know what to say and all the eyes are burning into her skull which is making her nervous.She laughed nervously about to get up but Mark when and tackled her back down on the couch to the position they were before.Then they start bombarding her with questions.
“OkaY ENoUgh” Taeyong notices they are overwhelming the girl, and not getting anywhere.They scatter now looking at her trying to read her emotions or what she is thinking.
”What do you want to know” she says with a breath that she didn’t know she was holding.They looked at her not knowing how to respond.
”We wanna know who they are to you.” Johnny said calmly, don’t the boys wrong they were not mad but mostly surprised, they have never seen Talia act like that affectionate with someone not them as she usually avoids people because of rumors.They just wanted to know more about the mysterious girl in front of them. 
In thought, she was trying to find the right words to define the boys she so cared about,she looked up with the same caring eyes she would show them when they do something endearing.
”They are one of the most important people in my life.” They were shocked she usually doesn’t say anything about her friends and figured if they are important to her she would talk about them more.
”I've known the leader of the group since I was 11...he is one of the closest people to me and knows me the best…” she continued.
”He is one with the blonde hair and dimples who was hugged in front of me, the one who tackled me, his name is Felix I've known him around 3 years, lastly Hyunjin the tall one who was winning me those stuffed animals I've known him for around 4 years I believe.” she said looking at them all with a smile, she revealed this information like it was nothing.
The boys were not mad, sad oh no no. They were jealous. Haechan flopped on the ground and hugged her legs looking at her puppy eyes.
“Why don’t you kiss us when we ask you too but you do when they ask you!” Haechan whined, Tali eyes widened at his complaint, she started giggling and shaking her head in disbelief.
“Ha, okay fine” she said with sweet smile, leaning down and kissing Haechan’s cheek.The boy gasped with joy with his beautiful smile on full display.Now instead of the boys jealous of Stray Kids they were jealous of the boy who go the first cheek kiss of the group and started tackling her for kisses.
After she did their request, she went to her room for peace when someone started knocking on her door knowing exactly who it was.
”Come in Mark”. He came in shyly.
“..um..can we cuddle please” he said with his doe eyes in full display.She smile.
“Of course” she laid down and he laid on her chest the he looked at the 3 stuffed animals looked back her then punched all three of them.
”AY ay wait what are you doing, what did they ever do to you?!” He looked back at her, then buried his head in her chest again and said.
“I was jealous “ he confessed .She was smiling and shaking her head knowing he wasn’t the only one she was going to have to deal with this week.
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shelby-love · 5 years
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MATT CASEY
“We’re okay”
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Requested: no
Prompts: none
Warnings: angsty?
Authors note: /
"Y/LN what's up loser," Your colegeue Adam Hayes snatches a frie from your plate.
"The ceiling you dumbass and don't steal my food," You sigh. Your firehouse was a smaller house, located not that far away from firehouse 51. Your boyfriend's house.
When you started dating there was a few opportunities for you to take a spot at their paramedics team but you declined. Sometimes guys can be assholes when colleagues are dating. Especially when it's a lieutenant.
But it doesn't matter. You and he spend enough time together to keep a steady and healthy relationship. Everyone here supports you.
Someone dramatically pulls out a chair to sit next to you. "So, how are you and Matt Casey doin'?" Anna Lee is wiggling her eyebrows at you.
"Well for your information...we're doing amazing," your sip some juice and wink at her.
"Dawson told me he talks about you all the time," She giggles. "ALL THE TIME!"
You can't stop the blush from creeping onto your face.
"You guys are so adorable," She cooes, "Hey Adam! Did you see Y/N and -"
"Ambulance 45, truck 51, squad 7. Burning building 87 76 East Maine."
"Alright folks let's go," Lieutenant Morales and the rest of the truck are ready to leave immediately but you chief enters the room and stops them from going.
"This is a serious fire. We are celled to assist firehouse 51, chief Boden asked for us personally. We get there immediately and help them, you take their place and let them rest. This fire is going to go through the whole night." Your Chief Sanders informs. There's a murmur that passes over everyone. The fire must be really serious then. With a nod everyone runs outside, including you.
"Hey Y/LN," Anna starts as you run to the ambo. "Im driving."
You don't even hear what she says because you climb inside and buckle up immediately. Your mind goes to Matt. You can't call anyone to check up on him. You can just hope for the best.
Anna hits the gas and your ambulance fires out of the firehouse. With your lights on and sirens blaring you make your way to the fallen building.
Your mouth goes dry.
If you could show someone what hell would look like - you'd show them this building at this exact moment.
"Oh my God," Anna's jaw is at the floor.
God please keep Matt safe.
The two of you park near ambulance 61 one and jump out. With you being the paramedic in charge Anna listens to your orders, "Grab the stretcher Anna. Let's go we've got work to do."
She does as you say and you take the jump bag and a few more medical supplies before you run over to Shay and Dawson where all the victims are.
"Thank God you're here," Shay sighs in relief as she bags a victim. "Listen sweetie, you're going to press this bag slowly okay? Can you do that for me? This will help him get oxygen until we get him to the hospital." The girl she's explaining this to is shaken up, she's dirty from the smoke but doesn't seem to be in much medical trouble at all.
You look at the building one more time and hope that Matt is save somewhere in there. Alive. Chief Bowden is standing next to your chief, both of them are screaming things in their radios. From afar you can see Morales leading the truck into the building.
"This is ambulance 45 to main. We'll need another closest ambulance to join us on the filed. 87 76 East Maine." You speak and cut the connection off as soon as they confirm the arrival of another ambo.
"We managed to stabilize the victims here but there are at least a few dozen more inside the building!" Dawson shouts over the loud voices. The two of you are scanning the situation and the victims, so far there's been no deaths but those are the ones who managed to save themselves alone and those who were saved first. Somewhere up there, your boyfriend is leading his team into danger they fight every day just so they can save lives. And now, your own best friends and colegeues are risking their lives.
"Hey, Y/LN... I know Casey," Dawson puts a hand on your shoulder. "He's going to get through this."
"He has too...or else I'm going to go there myself," You smile at her, though the insecurity in your smile must be obvious. Dammit Matt take care of yourself up there.
"Dawson! They're coming down," Chief Boden informs Dawson who doesn't think twice before she grabs the jump bag and rushes to the entrance so she can assist them as soon as they're out.
"Who's coming out chief?" You ask him. He shakes his head lightly at you and your heart sinks. "Lieutenant Severide."
"I better...go," You choke on your words and rush back to the ambo and grab the board and jump bag. You secure your uniform closer just incase and pull the collar up to your nose, "Anna let's go!"
She nods and rushes with you. Truth to everyone's words Severide and his team pull through the smoke with 4 victims. "Severide how are you doing?" You ask him while you help him walk the woman he saved. She seems to be out of a life danger, Severide's oxygen mask is pulled over her mouth.
"Yeah, I'm fine Y/LN. Casey's up on the 16th floor. He's coming down." His words reassure you so much and you let out a breath of relief. The relief doesn't last for long because the fire exploded through the roof. Both chiefs started barking orders at their men.
They saved whoever they could. Now, it was life threatening to stay in the building any longer.
"I want you out of there Morales! I want you out now!! Lorenzo do you hear me? I want your squad out of there RIGHT NOW!" Your Chief is practically begging them to leave but you're sure they're against that. They want to save everyone they can.
And then you hear the other Chief.
"Casey? Casey, listen to me. You need to get out, CASEY GET OUT OF THERE RIGHT NOW!"
Your breath hitches and you look at the building once again. Matt please..
"Okay honey look at me," You snap out of your daze. The woman's breathing in front of you is unsteady but good enough for her to breathe on her own. "Breathe in and out for me, please." She nods her head and you put the stethoscope to her chest. "Okay, your lungs looks fine, drink some water and try to calm down...if you can. We'll get you to the hospital in no time."
You look at the building entrance and spot a big group of men waking out. You grab your equipment without thinking and sprint towards them. You spot Hermann and Mouch at the head of the group. "Anna!" You yell and check the victims. Behind this group comes out another one.
There he is.
Your boyfriend is carrying a boy roughly around the age of 10 in his arms. The boy looks unresponsive and you notice why. His whole arm is burned in second degree burns. "Matt are you okay?" You ask him as you walk to the ambulance. You put your hand on his cheek and feel how hot it is, he's breathing hard because he gave his mask to the boy.
"Baby please save him," Your heart breaks at his voice and you understand why. You put him on a stretcher and slide him into the ambulance where other needed equipment is stored.
You sit next to the boy in the ambulance and immediately start doing different medical procedures to help him. You hope this little guy survives but you don't think he would. His injuries are too much. But you try nevertheless, you try because of Matt. Because of that little boy. "Matt sit down please you don't look so good." You say, shifting your gaze from the boy to your boyfriend. He's standing by the ambulance, not in it but not too far from the boy. He looks tired and shaken up.
The boys heartbeat drastically falls, "Anna! We're loosing him, quickly." You prepare to shock him and give instructions. "Set to 100. Clear."
Matt Casey stood there and watched his girlfriend help that boy. This is the first they'd ever been on the field together. When he saw her running towards him he couldn't believe it. He knows that boy has small chances of pulling through and he's beyond thankful that you're trying. Trying for him.
He didn't even notice you standing in font of him. "Matt... Honey I'm sorry but he didn't make it."
It broke your heart seeing him like this. He gathered you into his arms and hugged you like never before. You wrap your own arms around him and squeeze. "But thank God you're okay Matt. I thought you-"
"Hey... Y/N, I'm okay. Shhhs, I'm fine. We're both fine."
You look him in the eyes and press your lips to his. The kiss is promising and reassuring, it says everything words can't.
"I love you so much."
380 notes · View notes
astranne · 4 years
Text
ROYAL - Bruce Wayne
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I've never seen a diamond in the flesh 
I cut my teeth on wedding rings in the movies 
And I'm not proud of my address, in the torn up town
No post code envy
I looked up. My gaze caught every little detail. The beautiful but fake-looking women, the handsome men, smoking expensive cigars and talking about money and their big houses. Houses like the Wayne Manor. I felt the glances of the rich men trying to undress me with their mere eyes. But it didn't really bother me, I always liked the attention of men. I always loved the way how I affected men. But this was different. They had women by their side and fucked me with their eyes.
Slowly, I made my way upstairs. My long, black coat hid my dress. Everyone wore pastel colors, it was the dress code after all. The butler of the family Wayne smiled pleasantly and nodded in my direction.
„Miss Jackson, it's a pleasure to see you at the gala. May I have your coat?"
„Alfred, please, call me Lara. You've known me for many years."
„Indeed, Lara." I smiled and took off my coat. Alfred raised an eyebrow at my dress but didn't say a thing.
„You look like your mother, Lara. She would be very proud of you."
„Thank you, Alfred. But I couldn't have done it without you." He reached his arm to me, I smiled and took it.
„I'm afraid, but Master Bruce wouldn't approve that," he made reference to the dress. It was scandalous. Scandalous red.
„Well Alfred, you should know, I don't care about the opinion of a rich man. I never did."
„I know, dear. I know." Our way led us to the big saloon, full of laughter and rich people. It wasn't my world, it will never be and still, I'm here.
But every song's like gold teeth, 
Grey Goose, trippin' in the bathroom 
Bloodstains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room 
We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams 
But everybody's like Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash 
We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair
I inspected every woman and every man. There were models, actors, politicians, businessmen... rich people. Before I could do my way to a waiter serving the champagne, a young man stopped next to me. Another followed him and flashed a flirtatious smile towards me. Both had black hair, blue eyes and were muscular. They were handsome men. But too young for me.
„Good evening, my lady. You look beautiful." The one with the longer hair took my hand and kissed it.
„I must say, red fits you well, beautiful lady. May I know your name?"
„Lara Jackson. With whom do I have the pleasure?" Before any of them could answer, a little boy stepped between us, he looked like ten, but his hard look didn't belong to a child.
„Grayson, Todd. If I find this woman in anyone's room tonight, I will kill you. We don’t have time for this."
„What do you want, demon spawn?" The child huffed and crossed his arms.
„Father wants to speak with you. Both of you." Both rolled their eyes.
„I'm sorry, beautiful lady. The old man can’t have a fun night. We will see us again." The one with the white streak in his black hair kissed my cheek, the other my hand.
„Idiots. Please forgive my brothers, they don't have any respect for a good looking lady."
„It's okay. And thank you."
„You're familiar", he noticed. I just raised an eyebrow. This child was odd. Just like his father.
„Well, I know your father, Damian." His head shoots up and he frowned.
„How do you know me? Or him?"
„It was many years ago, but your father and I had a great friendship. One day he went missing and the day he came back, he wasn't the same anymore. Still, I stayed in contact with Alfred, he was a great friend and like a father to me."
„Why did my father abandon you?"
„I'm not rich." He looked confused but didn’t say anything.
„He never said something about you. Why not?"
„Again Damian. I'm not rich. I will never be like these models or actresses. I'm just a simple girl, that lived alone with her mother. It was a coincidence, that your father and I met."
And we'll never be royals 
It don't run in our blood 
That kind of lux just ain't for us 
We crave a different kind of buzz
„Then why are you here, Jackson?"
„I wanted to see Alfred. I wanted to see the house since it was my second home. And for the last time, I wanted to feel the atmosphere at a gala."
„It sounds like a goodbye. Why? What did my father do that you are such full of hate?" I looked surprised at him.
„How?", I just asked.
„I know that look. You don't hate my father, you hate that rich life, you hate his behavior. I'm also like this. I hate my mother, well, if you can call her a mother. And I hate my stupid brothers, who get more attention from my father then I do. I know they spend more time with him and know him better, but it’s..."
„Frustrating", I finished his sentence.
„I like you." I smiled and sipped at my champagne.
„Well Damian, I like you too."
„More than your brothers." He smiled smugly and I snorted silently.
Let me be your ruler, you can call me Queen B 
And baby I'll rule (I'll rule I'll rule I'll rule) 
Let me live that fantasy
„If you see them, could you clarify for me, that I'm definitely not interested? They are too young. Goodlooking, but too young."
„With pleasure, Lara."
I stayed the whole evening with Damian. He was a cute child, but he would never allow anyone to say that out loud. And he looked like his father. Well, almost. His eyes were green, they must be from his mother. But I didn't ask since he made clear, that his mother was a forbidden topic.
After that evening, I spent the night with Oliver Queen. We were both drunk and afterward, I found out that he had a girlfriend. So I did the one most logical thing, I ran away and swore, I will never be just a woman for a night. These times are now past, I want to be someone special, someone, that my mother can be proud of. So I began to search for my father. I never knew or saw him. But I wanted to find him.
My friends and I we've cracked the code 
We count our dollars on the train to the party 
And everyone who knows us knows that we're fine with this 
We didn't come from money
After months of searching and traveling around the world, I found him. Well, he found me. He didn't know he had a daughter. My mother never told him about me. But he didn't abandon me like other people. He gave me a new home, a new task. He gave me a new family. I began to train, train to defend myself, train to defend others, train to kill. Especially rich people who were assholes. I just followed my father's footsteps. You may ask now, who my father is. Im a Wilson now. My father is called Slade Wilson but feared as Deathstroke.
I was educated by the League of the Shadows also called the League of Assassins. Ra's al Guhl himself trained me and let me fight against his daughter, who is the mother of Damian. Talia al Guhl, or whatever they call her. I hate her. I hate her for manipulating Bruce and abandon her son. I hate her for her behavior, I just hate her presence. And everybody knows that. Because I almost killed her. Well, I killed her, but she was brought back with the Lazarus Pit. My father was really proud of me since nobody can stand her. I mean, she is a fucking bitch, she betrayed the League just for a son of Batman. And did so many other awful things. But that's not my problem anymore. Ra's send me to protect his grandson, the heritage of the League. The fact, Damian liked me, made my job so much easier. But I had no idea, how to become one of the Wayne family members. So we built a plan. My father as Deathstroke, would try to kill Robin and Batman, and I would save them both. After all the planning, it worked perfectly.
„Who are you?"
„Your pseud, deep voice doesnt scare me, Batman. You've just could thank me."
„Lara?"
„Hello, Damian. Its nice to see you again"
„I thought you would never come back to Gotham." I fake sighed and crossed my arms.
„Well... I was all around the world. I met your mother and I must say, she is a bitch. Sadly she survived our meeting." Batman huffed.
„And how did you know about the whole hero thing?"
„Talia is a really shitty secret keeper. She told me all about it, in the hope, I would show some mercy. Its nice to see you, Bruce."
„Who are you?"
„Its a shame, you dont recognize me, Brucie." I took my black hood off, also my mask, that hid the lower half of my face. I could feel the confusion of my childhood crush.
„Lara Jackson?"
„What a welcome." I was surprised after he hugged me. Awkwardly, I tapped his back.
„Im so sorry." That was easier than I thought.
„It’s okay, Brucie. It’s okay." Damian coughed and crossed his arms.
„Umm... can I have a bed for tonight?", I asked silently.
„You can have a bed as long as you want, Lara."
„Thank you, Bruce."
„Lets go home." He jumped off the roof, Damian followed him. I turned around and saw my father in the shadows. With a smirk, I followed the Waynes.
But every song's like gold teeth, 
Grey Goose, trippin' in the bathroom 
Bloodstains, ball gowns, trashin' the hotel room 
We don't care, we're driving Cadillacs in our dreams 
But everybody's like Cristal, Maybach, diamonds on your timepiece Jet planes, islands, tigers on a gold leash 
We don't care, we aren't caught up in your love affair
I was now a month at Wayne Manor. Bruce acted a little bit strange but I didn't mind. But what I minded was his big family. He has five sons and two daughters and other family members. They didn't trust me. Richard and Jason always flirted with me, the other women in the house hated me for that. Until one day.
„Hey, beautiful. What are you doin’?" I just rose an eyebrow, a move I would do every day.
„Do you have eyes, Jason?"
„Yes, why?"
„Well, then you can see, I’m reading." He sat aside me and wiggled his eyebrows.
„Mind, if I take this book and we do something?" I tried to ignore him.
„Darlin', I know you would take me. Don't act so heartless even though its hot as fuck." And then I had enough.
„Okay, listen, Jason. I'm not interested to fuck you or Richard. I'm so much older than you, I could be your fucking mother! And if you don't stop, I’m gonna kick your fucking ass so hard, that the pit wont help you come back to life! So shut the fuck up and just let me live my fucking life! Without you or Richard or any playboy." He just blinked.
„How old are you?", he asked bluntly. I slapped him with the book. Jason yelled and ran away from the couch.
„Jason Peter Todd! Come back, you fucking asshole! I'm going to fucking killing you, you dipshit! You don't ask a woman about her age! COME BACK!" I ran after him, passing next to Richard and Tim.
„Jason!", I yelled. „Come back, you motherfucking bastard!" He sprinted downwards, trying to escape. With the speed I had gained, I jumped down and rolled off.
„What the fuck! That woman! Help! Anyone!"
„Shut up!" I tackled him down and began to punch him. Blood spattered out of his nose, ruining the expensive carpet.
„What the fuck?! Lara? Jason?" Dick tried to separate us but he also collected a punch in his nose.
„Don't touch me, you pervert!" Jason managed to escape out of my hold and we began to fight, Richard joined, after I kicked him in his stomach.
„Bruce? Alfred? Anyone? Lara is going crazy!", Tim shouted. He was smart enough to stay out of our fight. I swiped the blood out of my face, not knowing to whom it belonged.
„Still imagining how to fuck me?" Both men grunted, trying to punch me, which I easily caught. My hands gripped Richard's shoulders and I let his nose met my head. He groaned and held his nose, trying to kick me.
„Enough!" I heard Bruce's voice and stepped a little back. Jason didn't stop and punched right in my jaw. I growled and rushed forward, my legs slung around his neck, and threw him on the ground.
„Lara! Enough!" It took Bruce, Tim, and Alfred to keep me away from the second oldest.
And we'll never be royals It don't run in our blood That kind of lux just ain't for us We crave a different kind of buzz
Bruce himself stitched me up, doesn't allow anyone to come too near towards me. He forbid everyone, even Alfred, to come to the Batcave.
„Why?", he just asked. I huffed and crossed my arms.
„Why? Both were flirting with me! Its disgusting! I could be their fucking mother!"
„They are kids, Lara", he sighed and sat across me. I rolled my eyes.
„Kids don’t fight the Joker, Bruce." It was silent, we just sat there.
„Why are you like this?"
„What do you mean?" I frowned.
„You're cold. Towards me. I have the feeling, you only like Alfred and Damian", he almost whispered. I swallowed and tried to avoid his gaze.
„Bruce, I...I had a hard childhood. I just had my mother and you. You were my best friend, my first love. And when my mother passed, I was alone. I know, you were there for me, but not like the way I wanted. I changed Bruce, I'm not the glamorous girl anymore."
„Why you didn't say anything?"
„You were Bruce Wayne, the son of millionaires, the heritage of Wayne Enterprises. I was madly in love with you, I never said something because I was so scared. Scared, that you wouldnt love me back, scared you would see me just like as a friend. So I started to date other boys, boys who gave me attention in a way, who filled the gap my mother left. It was like a drug. I loved the way I affected every man. They gave me love, physically." At the end of my speech, I'd met Bruces eyes. They were soft and full of love.
„Im so sorry, Lara. I never- If I ever would know that...Do you remember your first boyfriend?" He didn't wait for an answer.
„I was so jealous and I saw you at his side it made me clear, you weren't the little girl anymore, who I met at my parents funeral. In my eyes, you were a grown, beautiful and independent woman. That day I realized, I loved you from the first day and still do." My eyes grew big. How?
„You still love me?", I whispered.
„I do." I almost melted at these words. My fucking childhood crush, my first love, loves me. He smiled and leaned towards me. Our noses touched, my eyes fluttered. He stopped, obviously waiting for me. I sighed when our lips finally met. We kissed slowly, without any tongue. It was a romantic kiss, heck, he would top every Hollywood movie. We parted, his lips brushed against mine. Bruce cupped my face with his hands and kissed me again. Roughly. A light moan escaped my lips, my hands tugged his black hair. He groaned deeply and heat rushed downwards all around my body. His arms pulled me nearer to him. Slowly, while kissing him, I climbed on his lap. But before it could go any farther, Alfred cleared his throat. I blushed and tried to hide my face in Bruce's neck while he just chuckled.
Let me be your ruler, you can call me Queen B 
And baby I'll rule (I'll rule I'll rule I'll rule)
Let me live that fantasy
Everything was perfect. As perfect as it could be in such a chaotic family. Since I beat up Jason and Richard, everyone tries to not piss me off. I warmed up to the girls and also Tim. Everything was perfect until Talia showed up. She and some traitors of the league managed to break into the Manor and tied the whole Wayne Family up.
„Hello, Lara. Its nice to see you again." A mad smile graced her face. I didn't respond and gripped the handle of my sword harder.
„Why are you here, Talia?"
„Oh I don’t know, maybe to kill you?" I rolled my eyes.
„Besides that." She grinned widely at me.
„I want my son back."
„No." She frowned, the Waynes behind me began to protest.
„No? Who do you think you are? I’m the mother of him!"
„Well, I don't care who you are Talia. You're a traitor and I don't listen to traitors."
„Wilson", she growled.
„Al Guhl."
„My son."
„No."
„I want my son! And I will kill you to get him!"
„Try me, bitch. I killed you once and I will do it again."
„Why are you here?", she asked out of nowhere.
„Classified."
„Really, Wilson?"
„Why is mother naming her Wilson?", whispered Damian to his father. Before Bruce could answer, Talia rushed with a war cry forward raising her sword. I easily dodged, spinning around and kicking her in her stomach.
„You have a deathwish, Al Guhl. Stop it and I will let you go."
„Never, Wilson", she spat and rammed her sword in my leg. I gritted my teeth but fought on. I felt, how my wound slowly stopped bleeding until it closed completely. But the pain was still there.
„How-?", she stuttered.
„You should've known, dear Talia. The reason, why Im a better fighter than you, the reason, why I could kill you. All because of my fathers powers."
„Your father has powers? But he is no metahuman."
„Who said he is a mutant? He's an experiment, he's an improved human. So am I."
„That's why you could learn so fast to fight", she realized.
„Yes. And now, get out of here, or I kill you and your friends."
We're bigger than we ever dreamed, and I'm in love with being queen (Ooh ooh oh) 
Life is great without a care 
We aren't caught up in your love affair
„Who is your father, Lara?" I sighed at Damian's question.
„Does it really matter right now?"
„Hell yes it does!", shouted Jason. „I want some awesome powers too!" I rolled my eyes.
„I never knew my father, Bruce knows that. And my mother never told him, that she was pregnant. After I met Damian, I began to search for my father. Without any results. Then, he found me. He's a member of the league of the assassins, so he brought me there and I was trained."
„You didn't answer Damians question”, Bruce noticed. I sighed again and shouldered my backpack.
„Because I knew, you all wouldn't like it. Damian, your grandfather send me to protect you. My job is done, I will go back to Nanda Parbat."
„What?"
„No!", they cried out.
„Why? I thought you-", I interrupted Bruce.
„Bruce, I love you. I really do. But I know, when you learn, who my father is, you will abandon me. So I better go by myself."
„Wait, what? Are you and Bruce a thing?" Jason's eyes switched between us.
„We were."
And we'll never be royals 
It don't run in our blood 
That kind of lux just ain't for us 
We crave a different kind of buzz 
Let me be your ruler, you can call me Queen B 
And baby I'll rule (I'll rule I'll rule I'll rule) 
---
Masterlist
This was my first oneshot in english, I hope you like it. You can also find it on Wattpad, there I have the same username like on Tumblr. 
I’m aware, that not everything I wrote matches with the personalities of the batfam, I have more knowledge of the MCU and MARVEL. And if something is wrong with my english (my first language is german) please tell me. :) 
7 notes · View notes
memsysiah · 2 years
Note
What's something that's been on your mind lately?
Howdy Anon!
Lately I've been thinking about how after me and my friends got dinner last night I really tried to do the human thing where you tell people you appreciate them by sending a text in the group chat where I was like "hey i just wanted to let you all know i love and appreciate y'alls company" and generally it went over really well and im glad I did it -- but also not everyone responded. So now my brain is doing the overthink where I feel like they must indeed hate me.
Pairing this with the observation I made that everyone in my friend group has a lot of stories where they talk about their main friend group while I'm sitting around thinking that this is my main friend group -- I have irrationally constructed the notion that I am just a tertiary character in the lives of the people I know.
Been on this thought train for a while and I'm kinda stuck on it.
TLDR: Feelin' inadequate and tiny
Hope you're doin okay Anon
- Jay
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Text
Indie & Rio
Indie: where you @? Indie: lost u in the heads & smoke like Rio: I know, fucking madness ain't it Rio: never gets old Rio: What's up tho? Indie: get off mckenna for a few i need to chat Indie: 😏😏😂😂 Indie: dunno how to spit this Indie: imma just Indie: drews back in the pen lookin @ a fresh stretch Rio: Hush child 😜 Rio: Oh shit Rio: Really? Rio: Any day to get caught, like Rio: he must've been weighed tf down, man Rio: How you feeling on it, babe? Indie: innit tho Indie: vexed i didnt get my share for the feds hit him up Indie: but fr idk man Indie: he trying to play like he sorry & he wants to see my face if his gotta keep in there Rio: Hmm Rio: It's like, does he mean it or is it 'cos it's long in there, like Rio: Not trying to be a cunt genuinely questioning like we gonna get any sort of answer Indie: i told my auntie he sorry for heself only Indie: i feel that Indie: i not trying to 🤡 for him so the pen aint dry Indie: & he aint trying to see my sis face Indie: either of Rio: Yeah, ain't nobody trying to take a baby to prison, can you fucking imagine Rio: least of all Ro sat there like Rio: Jesus Rio: Well, you know I've got your back Rio: if he means it he'll bell you himself once he's in and knows wtf he's doing Rio: but I'm with you with as much as we know now, fuck that, some time away will do us all some good Indie: if former step ma stepped her foot in there shed be shook beyond belief Indie: no jokes Indie: it got me feelin some type of way bad tho like i willed it Indie: cos i wanted him gone from me & the younger Indie: but how long he gets depends she might not kno him lowkey ever Indie: ro aint want him around now she aint gon forgive & forget welcomin him back to the table once he jailbroke Rio: Init Rio: Might be the culture shock she needs but even I ain't gonna say she deserves, like Rio: Nah, dash that, serious Rio: it's always been a risk of how he's living, whether right or wrong, wanted or not, it's just facts Rio: they caught him slipping, nothing to do with how much he been slipping with you and that whole situation Rio: It ain't gonna be like that, system's a joke, yeah? Rio: Idk about that though but if he proper wants to see Astrid then there's ways to make that happen, just he's never put that level of effort in, ever Indie: im heavy w this Indie: aint trying to need this tonite of all nights Indie: gus & di already 👀 edie early Indie: 🚀🚀🚀 coming off Indie: mayb i gotta just bounce from here Rio: I know, babe Rio: you don't have to Rio: no one wants you to go Indie: i aint about wanting that but 💔💔💔💔 u kno Rio: if you gotta Rio: I get it Rio: but you don't need to stay gone, yeah Rio: like Edie doesn't Indie: idk where my boys are i cant be runnin these streets rn Indie: the feds are proper extra Indie: decision makes itself Rio: Yeah they gotta be out in full force Rio: it ain't safe for you to bounce alone, everyone's lairy Rio: We can go home if you want, night close to over neway? Indie: naaaaah you and mckenna got few slow dances to still do Indie: he feelin lucky still & 😍😍😍😍 Indie: he gonna have to bounce heself in like a day Indie: gotta let him have this Rio: Fuck that Rio: you're my priority Rio: what you wanna do, forreal? Indie: idk Indie: but if we bounce drews killed the vibe & i aint want that for myself either Indie: ill track lo cos bros a walking party innit Indie: bound to make a change Indie: find me when you done riding your mans Rio: Yeah Rio: Alright then, sounds good to me Rio: In a few, bitch Indie: i love you Indie: serious Rio: I love you more Rio: Always have, always will Rio: This ain't gonna fuck with no thing, we on the up and up, still Indie: yeah u kno i aint tryna let this make me slip too Indie: thats his Rio: It alright if you do, I'm here to catch you Rio: we all are Indie: i got something in my eye now bitch Indie: 😭😭😭 Rio: No one will know, all the smoke that's about just reckon you wayyyy faded Indie: truuuuu Indie: but in this facepaint w this much 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀 pride not a mood 👌👌 Rio: Soz about it 😏 Indie: speaking of Indie: ask mckenna if he gon lips me or what bitch i been waitin since he shown up Rio: 😲😣 Rio: the nerve to ask me that Indie: he looking daddy af & you kno it Indie: i got dem issues proven so Indie: come thru boyyy Rio: 😂 Rio: we gon' have issues if he come away with green lips thank you Rio: post up Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: what can i say it b that posh knitwear 😍😍😍😍 Indie: who else b dressin like that cept his actual father Indie: im creased Rio: you want his ma after you too Rio: deathwish like you tryna go out on dem streets with a union jack on you Indie: nah she my girl now Indie: loves me real deep Rio: is it? Indie: now she aint catch me face deep in her fridge like Indie: the actual Indie: not some dirty type words there Indie: she b cold but i aint tryna say no thing about in the sheets Rio: 😂😂😂 Rio: you ain't the only one creased now Rio: fucking hell Indie: plot twist fam i be coming for other mckennas 🌈👑 & out here w her own ma Indie: soz bout it Rio: that'd be mad shaming Rio: no living that hypocrisy down, bea Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: nah but girls aint do no thing for me like that Indie: they too soft Rio: Shame, such a soft butch dream, babe 😉 Indie: is it? Indie: that b how im friendzoned by my dream boy rn then Rio: 💔 Rio: gutting Indie: for him Indie: cos im 🔥🔥🔥 and he aint kno Rio: 🙌🙌🙌 Rio: that's my girl Indie: mayb he 🌈🌈🌈 omf u think? Rio: Could be Rio: idk how he living that hard myself but you know Indie: i gotta ask other mckenna how i can 👀 Indie: is junie still here too? Rio: I hope she's fun drunk so you don't get a rant Rio: nah, he left a while ago, I 👀 him sneaking out but it's a day for Irish goodbyes so let him live, like Indie: o Indie: ill run him a text rn Rio: i ever teach u how to be tactful or nah Rio: might need a mama moment 😏 Indie: wys Indie: i aint kno what that mean even Rio: it just means chillin' even when you hyped, 'cos the other person might not be, like Rio: he ain't livin' that pride life Rio: not 'bout being 🍀 like Indie: ooooooooooooo Indie: 👌👌👌👌 Indie: y tho? Rio: I don't know Rio: it's a process Rio: being comfortable with who you is Indie: how you gon b uncomfy w it Indie: lifes long Rio: plenty out there give u reasons why depending on who you is Rio: but it's just in you Rio: it's hard to explain when that ain't how you is but he is, always has been Indie: dash that Indie: poor baby boy Rio: I know Indie: ill just text him love Rio: you cute Indie: 💖💖💖💖 Indie: feelin it Rio: lookin' it Rio: 💘 Indie: shhh allow it Indie: nah man Rio: what you chattin' Rio: you beautiful Indie: not this nite bitch Rio: every night bitch Indie: hype girl vibes is it Indie: kkk Rio: shh i'm only a tiny bit drunk and feeling the luv Rio: also accidental racism come thru there Indie: o snap Indie: my bad Indie: not tryna dash you off that hard Rio: 😂 Rio: though if you ever need to Rio: like, cold but damn Indie: dont even play Indie: omf Rio: though so many whiteys in one place rn we could start a rally Indie: innit Indie: waste Rio: you're happy, aren't you indie Indie: bout what? Indie: what you mean? Rio: in general Rio: i mean Rio: you're okay, yeah Indie: idk baby im me in general Indie: just livin Rio: Hmm Indie: is you? Rio: Yeah Rio: I just want all of you to be too Indie: how you kno tho? Indie: whats the feelin? Rio: Happy? Indie: yeah how is it? Rio: it's like Rio: when you was a kid Rio: but you old enough to appreciate how good it is now Indie: so mckenna makes you feel like you lil Rio: no Rio: it's not like that, or that it's just him Rio: idk Indie: its like a good high or? Rio: not really Rio: it's like, no matter what shit is was or will be Rio: you still good Rio: nothing touches it Indie: yeah? Indie: thats a madness Indie: no wonder you two b amp af Rio: it's security Rio: i think Indie: thats wild Indie: how i b getting myself some of that shit like Rio: i'm no expert Rio: but i think u gotta know yourself, be comfy with it, know what you want and then be tryna get it Rio: and have good people 'round you who are solid too Rio: that's what i reckon anyway but who knows everything could go to shit and then this'll be awks Indie: nah you good Indie: like i said afore mckenna b cuffed now Indie: what i hear you sayin is i need a mans cos i kno myself & where i wanna get Indie: & i got heads all around Rio: hmm Rio: i don't remember saying that 😂 Indie: well i b sayin safe all the time but i aint b feelin no safety Indie: thats whats missin only from what you listin Indie: 🤔🤔🤔🤔 Rio: maybe it ain't as simple as i think then Rio: maybe if there's one wobbly brick, it all comes tumblin' down Rio: weakest link shit Indie: i feel that Rio: yeah Rio: i ain't know how to fix that Rio: i'm still happy Rio: most the time Indie: 💖💖💖👑👑💖💖 Indie: thats sick Indie: im hyped for you Rio: maybe i'm selfish then hmm Indie: naaah Indie: aint no thing wrong w feelin any type way Rio: but if you ain't and edie ain't and so many other people ain't Rio: then i shouldn't, like u can't 'cos of all this stuff Indie: me & edie too 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 to know how we is Rio: that ain't good either Rio: i should do more i'm being too easy on myself now Indie: dash that Indie: you doin the most for me Indie: all in Indie: & she aint tryna let anyone do anything you kno Rio: i should just do it Rio: not give her the option Rio: we all should Rio: she's just a kid Rio: a kid who don't know what's good for her rn Indie: now i kno you drunk babe Indie: how you gon achieve it? Indie: cant help heads that aint want it Rio: lock her in her room 'til she ready to be good Rio: i know you can't but Rio: we failed her Rio: period Indie: if you lookin for that room to be trashed go off Indie: it aint none of you that failed her Indie: you kno who it was Rio: he never even tried Rio: not once Indie: & thats how it aint matter what you do Indie: it aint bout you Indie: none of Rio: it's fucked up Rio: 'cos you from him you don't get to be happy? what the fuck is that Indie: life bitch Indie: we aint get to choose where we from Rio: nah Rio: nah, that's bullshit i ain't having it Indie: it aint yours to have or to carry thats what im sayin Rio: no, fuck that Rio: don't you get that's exactly what he'd say and how he's living Rio: oh my mum didn't love me and so this is how i am, end of Rio: no growth no change no nothing Rio: he didn't have to do it like that just 'cos Rio: he made choices and you can too, both of you Indie: he didnt have to do no thing but i cant make him behave like you cant her Indie: they gon do what they gon do Indie: shes making her choices rn based on how she viewin none of us can get in her 👀 and get shit untwisted if she aint want Rio: she isn't like him Rio: don't say it like she is Indie: how she not? Indie: she got everything & all she see is what she think she aint got Rio: she just ain't alright Rio: we ain't doing this rn Indie: she is tho Indie: where she now? gone like how he do running from what she has like he do Indie: it aint exactly how they want it so they aint want it Rio: i mean it Rio: stop Indie: you gonna law me now Indie: is that how we doin Rio: you don't know what you're talking about Rio: i don't wanna listen Indie: you wish i aint kno Indie: thats why you dont wanna hear Rio: you're saying all this like you reckon you're better Rio: you don't know Rio: he chose you Rio: you don't know what it's like to be her Indie: what i kno is i used to chat at myself every nite wishing your rents would keep me and she dashes them over so hard it breaks them Indie: what i kno is they chose her & got mad love and what his is better cos he was inside your ma for a few? nah Indie: what i kno is that he was backed into a corner over me cos my ma fucked died Indie: yours gotta b punished cos she was strong enough to do her job fuck that Indie: im better cos im here & im real bout and on all this Rio: you don't think she don't know that Rio: you don't think it's half the root of her fucking problem Rio: lucky edie and poor indie Rio: so just stop because this ain't nothing i don't know, her too Rio: it's already on her without you ever saying it Indie: you say that like she wearing it Indie: she aint Rio: you blame her Rio: she wants to be drew's kid as little as you do, you'd be an idiot to believe her when she says opposite Rio: there's no points for being real here, she's not stupid, she knows what's up and it's fucked, you've got your ways of coping, she's got hers Rio: neither fucking work, clearly Indie: she blames me for more than ill ever blame her for Indie: & she aint tryna be anybody or anybodys Rio: nah Rio: she feels sorry for you though and that don't sit right does it Rio: because you should be sharing on it together yeah? but that ain't ever gonna happen because he didn't once claim her so you don't get to be sisters Rio: she don't know how to be Indie: bitch so do you it just came right out your mouth then & there 👌👌 Indie: & nah that aint sit right w me cos i aint ask to be none of you or your fam charity Indie: but i dont need her to be my sister no more than i need him to step up for me in any type of way Indie: i made my peace Rio: bullshit Rio: just like you say you safe but you ain't you say that but it's a crock of shit Rio: at least she isn't pretending to be fine Indie: u aint heard me say im fine Indie: but am i ghosting nah Rio: you always say it Rio: bet you told Meena you were too Indie: if you thinkin you hearing that from me you aint listenin Indie: i aint being real w her how i am w you cos she aint need that Rio: Jesus fucking Christ Rio: and Edie don't wanna be anybody's Rio: she's your family, we're your family too Rio: she might not be here but you may as well not be the way you try and shrink yourself to not be part of the 'Drew' problem, no bother to no one Indie: if thats how you want it ill bounce too then Rio: did i say that Indie: you are w how youre coming for me rn Rio: you started it Indie: nah Indie: i aint come for you once this whole time Rio: you came for her Indie: she aint you Rio: she's my sister Rio: and she's not here to defend herself Indie: bitch me too Indie: & she wouldnt defend herself if she was Rio: i know Rio: and that doesn't matter Rio: i still have to Indie: you cant have it all ways either im fam and shes my sister too or im separate and i cant speak on it Indie: how you want it Rio: nah Rio: we don't speak on it don't act like you ain't noticed Rio: you don't call each other out that's not what we do Indie: then i aint trying to be w none of you Indie: cos thats bait Rio: Fine Indie: you call me out any time it suits you to do it Rio: bitch when Indie: when i got inked you had plenty to say about it Indie: & when i got dashed before then Rio: telling you your shit boyfriend is shit and you're making an idiot out of yourself is entirely different to coming for her life and her entire being Rio: if you can fix it you can say it Indie: theres plenty of shit that could have been said to her afore it got to this Indie: but nah just come for my life tonite stead like Rio: i done said we failed her Rio: you think i don't know Indie: i aint tryna tell you how you think Indie: or what you kno Rio: nah come on Rio: you had all the answers 5 seconds ago Indie: fuck that Indie: & you if thats how you wanna be Rio: whatever Indie: pretend like you aint got no more to say like how i pretend im fine 👌👌 Indie: its chill Rio: you ain't listening Rio: i'm not wasting breath Indie: bitch im here where you think i is Indie: if i aint listening i be out Rio: you ain't ready to learn then Indie: what you tryna school me in? Indie: all you tellin me is idk what i'm chattin Rio: because you don't Indie: what am i learnin from you that my heads empty? Indie: tell me what you want me to kno Rio: i already said everything i wanted to say 'cos i ain't faking it Rio: so forget it Indie: you callin me out again now Indie: or you just want me to kno how real you is Indie: like i gotta be scared of the flex now Rio: yeah, i'm calling you out Indie: idk how you think you can when i been real w you on all this Indie: but go off girl if you feelin it Rio: That isn't the point, this isn't about me and you Indie: it is when you dragging me for ways i aint livin Rio: bullshit Rio: i'm not going over and over this Indie: ?? Indie: i dont get what you want Rio: just forget it at this point Rio: this isn't productive and it isn't going to be Indie: why tho Rio: Because what, you're going to start asking for help and then what when we just let you down too Rio: There is no solution to all this so if acting fine helps then go for it Rio: There's no point you stopping Indie: i aint gonna ask for no help cos they aint none Indie: its how i told you its mine to carry Indie: i fix what i fix how i do Rio: what exactly are you fixing Indie: are you asking whats wrong or calling out my copin ways? Rio: i know what's wrong Indie: then how you gon say i pretend like im fine Rio: just because you're bad at it doesn't mean you don't Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Rio: yeah Indie: you got jokes still Indie: love that Rio: i told you to stop and i said we weren't doing this but now this is over Indie: make it happen if you want it to Rio: fine Indie: such a ma thing to say Rio: shut up Rio: jesus Indie: go Indie: its what you tryna do Rio: oh is it Rio: what we do best yeah Rio: so you get to be all holier than thou i don't think so Indie: you aint tryna speak to me Indie: so be brave & do what you wanna for real Rio: more chatting with no clue Rio: for fuck sake Indie: you so clued in yeah 👌👌 Indie: my bad for forgetting it like Rio: don't speak to me like that Indie: you only law me i dont law you Rio: yeah that's how it is Indie: i kno Indie: like how i kno that even when you b aware my heart hurts you care about hers more Rio: yeah yeah yeah Rio: why, 'cos we got the same ma? Rio: that don't matter to me Rio: it matters to you two Rio: but act like it's just her, go on Indie: no cos you wont let me fucking speak Indie: & mayb tonite i need to Indie: but you only care about defending her not hearing me Rio: go ahead Rio: you reckon slagging her off is gonna make you feel any better Rio: it won't Indie: you been told me there aint no solutions anyway so whats it matter how i choose Rio: because it hurts me and makes you look dumb Rio: that's why it matters Rio: this isn't about her, it never needed to be Rio: it's about him, as fucking per Indie: its about me Indie: jfc Rio: and what haven't you said then Rio: and how doesn't that prove my point Rio: i asked you what you wanted to do Rio: i said we could go Rio: but you went with the usual like that's what the situation calls for, let me carry on partying and you go get high and act like you ain't thinking on him Rio: as if I'm that fucking stupid and that fucking selfish, I'm here waiting on you Indie: i said idk & i dont Indie: stop Rio: Let's just go Indie: you go if you want but i cant Rio: Nah Rio: nah you don't get to do this Indie: ?? Indie: what i done now Rio: You have to come because you have to talk about this Indie: you aint tryna talk to me no more you been made that obvious Indie: so who you want me to chat to? mckenna? Rio: Fucking hell Rio: I want to talk to you properly Rio: not like this because you won't leave and deal with it like it's actually a big deal Rio: come on Indie: the only big deal is how you be thinking on me Indie: & i aint tryna talk to you bout that anymore than Rio: what are you talking about Indie: all you been doing this whole time is chatting at me bout everything i do wrong for fixing this shit Indie: but telling me you got no means Rio: no i haven't Indie: check back w yourself cos thats how it is, i pretend im fine, i get high, i chat shit thats all wrong Indie: but you aint got no right way for me Rio: how about stop Rio: your taking shit outta context and adding 'em together when that ain't how it was said Indie: its how it feels Rio: well that isn't what i meant Indie: you wanna compare me to her but im doin my best to keep my shit together same as Rio: i only made any comparisons to point out the hypocrisy Rio: there's no need to come for her, trust me, it won't bring you any joy Indie: theres no need but sometimes i wanna Rio: We all do Indie: dont you 👀 now why i cant leave Indie: i aint tryna have my nite end like this Rio: what good do you think's gonna come Indie: i aint need good just not this Indie: get high enough to wipe it out like it was never Rio: doesn't work Rio: i don't know why you want me to be fake with you like it does when i been there and know better Indie: it works for me Indie: it worked for my ma too Rio: if it worked for your ma she would've got off the shit 'cos she'd be off and over your da too Rio: no it fucking doesn't Indie: you say that like he was her only Indie: problems b stacked Rio: loving him was her main Rio: everything else was survivable, don't get that twisted Indie: he was survivable too Rio: you reckon Indie: im surviving him Indie: edie is Indie: astrid will Rio: surviving ain't thriving Indie: maybe i aint get to thrive Indie: maybe i got that twisted Rio: you got some choices to make Indie: not yet Rio: why not? Indie: cos i aint grown Indie: you always b telling me i kno you aint forgot Rio: you haven't got that luxury, that's what you got twisted Rio: with a dad like that, no Indie: what choices i got w my years Indie: gotta go school & rest my head where im told Indie: thats surviving bitch Rio: you gotta choose how you feel about him and how deep you letting it run Indie: i dont get to choose that Indie: dont you get it Indie: hes ruining everything & he aint even here Rio: there's always a choice Rio: you love him like your ma and ro do, he fucks your life up fully Rio: you hate him as much as edie, same Rio: you gotta be the bigger person than him already and fucking live and let live, actually make peace with this shit 'fore it gets you too Indie: nah cos i dont love him or hate him & shits still a mess Indie: idk how to stop it Rio: shit's never not going to be a mess Indie: idk how to make my peace w that Indie: not on a level thats for real Rio: that's what i can't tell you Rio: 'cos me either Indie: then how tf do i stop him ruining me Indie: cept get as close to not feelin anything as i can Indie: but youre telling me no to that Rio: i don't know Rio: feel nothing for him Rio: that's the best i've got Indie: thats how im tryna be Indie: idk what happy is but i kno what starting a day high feels like Indie: how possible it makes shit feel & how invincible i am to anything i dont want Rio: go get high thenIndie: where you @? Indie: lost u in the heads & smoke like Rio: I know, fucking madness ain't it Rio: never gets old Rio: What's up tho? Indie: get off mckenna for a few i need to chat Indie: 😏😏😂😂 Indie: dunno how to spit this Indie: imma just Indie: drews back in the pen lookin @ a fresh stretch Rio: Hush child 😜 Rio: Oh shit Rio: Really? Rio: Any day to get caught, like Rio: he must've been weighed tf down, man Rio: How you feeling on it, babe? Indie: innit tho Indie: vexed i didnt get my share for the feds hit him up Indie: but fr idk man Indie: he trying to play like he sorry & he wants to see my face if his gotta keep in there Rio: Hmm Rio: It's like, does he mean it or is it 'cos it's long in there, like Rio: Not trying to be a cunt genuinely questioning like we gonna get any sort of answer Indie: i told my auntie he sorry for heself only Indie: i feel that Indie: i not trying to 🤡 for him so the pen aint dry Indie: & he aint trying to see my sis face Indie: either of Rio: Yeah, ain't nobody trying to take a baby to prison, can you fucking imagine Rio: least of all Ro sat there like Rio: Jesus Rio: Well, you know I've got your back Rio: if he means it he'll bell you himself once he's in and knows wtf he's doing Rio: but I'm with you with as much as we know now, fuck that, some time away will do us all some good Indie: if former step ma stepped her foot in there shed be shook beyond belief Indie: no jokes Indie: it got me feelin some type of way bad tho like i willed it Indie: cos i wanted him gone from me & the younger Indie: but how long he gets depends she might not kno him lowkey ever Indie: ro aint want him around now she aint gon forgive & forget welcomin him back to the table once he jailbroke Rio: Init Rio: Might be the culture shock she needs but even I ain't gonna say she deserves, like Rio: Nah, dash that, serious Rio: it's always been a risk of how he's living, whether right or wrong, wanted or not, it's just facts Rio: they caught him slipping, nothing to do with how much he been slipping with you and that whole situation Rio: It ain't gonna be like that, system's a joke, yeah? Rio: Idk about that though but if he proper wants to see Astrid then there's ways to make that happen, just he's never put that level of effort in, ever Indie: im heavy w this Indie: aint trying to need this tonite of all nights Indie: gus & di already 👀 edie early Indie: 🚀🚀🚀 coming off Indie: mayb i gotta just bounce from here Rio: I know, babe Rio: you don't have to Rio: no one wants you to go Indie: i aint about wanting that but 💔💔💔💔 u kno Rio: if you gotta Rio: I get it Rio: but you don't need to stay gone, yeah Rio: like Edie doesn't Indie: idk where my boys are i cant be runnin these streets rn Indie: the feds are proper extra Indie: decision makes itself Rio: Yeah they gotta be out in full force Rio: it ain't safe for you to bounce alone, everyone's lairy Rio: We can go home if you want, night close to over neway? Indie: naaaaah you and mckenna got few slow dances to still do Indie: he feelin lucky still & 😍😍😍😍 Indie: he gonna have to bounce heself in like a day Indie: gotta let him have this Rio: Fuck that Rio: you're my priority Rio: what you wanna do, forreal? Indie: idk Indie: but if we bounce drews killed the vibe & i aint want that for myself either Indie: ill track lo cos bros a walking party innit Indie: bound to make a change Indie: find me when you done riding your mans Rio: Yeah Rio: Alright then, sounds good to me Rio: In a few, bitch Indie: i love you Indie: serious Rio: I love you more Rio: Always have, always will Rio: This ain't gonna fuck with no thing, we on the up and up, still Indie: yeah u kno i aint tryna let this make me slip too Indie: thats his Rio: It alright if you do, I'm here to catch you Rio: we all are Indie: i got something in my eye now bitch Indie: 😭😭😭 Rio: No one will know, all the smoke that's about just reckon you wayyyy faded Indie: truuuuu Indie: but in this facepaint w this much 🍀🍀🍀🍀🍀 pride not a mood 👌👌 Rio: Soz about it 😏 Indie: speaking of Indie: ask mckenna if he gon lips me or what bitch i been waitin since he shown up Rio: 😲😣 Rio: the nerve to ask me that Indie: he looking daddy af & you kno it Indie: i got dem issues proven so Indie: come thru boyyy Rio: 😂 Rio: we gon' have issues if he come away with green lips thank you Rio: post up Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: what can i say it b that posh knitwear 😍😍😍😍 Indie: who else b dressin like that cept his actual father Indie: im creased Rio: you want his ma after you too Rio: deathwish like you tryna go out on dem streets with a union jack on you Indie: nah she my girl now Indie: loves me real deep Rio: is it? Indie: now she aint catch me face deep in her fridge like Indie: the actual Indie: not some dirty type words there Indie: she b cold but i aint tryna say no thing about in the sheets Rio: 😂😂😂 Rio: you ain't the only one creased now Rio: fucking hell Indie: plot twist fam i be coming for other mckennas 🌈👑 & out here w her own ma Indie: soz bout it Rio: that'd be mad shaming Rio: no living that hypocrisy down, bea Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: nah but girls aint do no thing for me like that Indie: they too soft Rio: Shame, such a soft butch dream, babe 😉 Indie: is it? Indie: that b how im friendzoned by my dream boy rn then Rio: 💔 Rio: gutting Indie: for him Indie: cos im 🔥🔥🔥 and he aint kno Rio: 🙌🙌🙌 Rio: that's my girl Indie: mayb he 🌈🌈🌈 omf u think? Rio: Could be Rio: idk how he living that hard myself but you know Indie: i gotta ask other mckenna how i can 👀 Indie: is junie still here too? Rio: I hope she's fun drunk so you don't get a rant Rio: nah, he left a while ago, I 👀 him sneaking out but it's a day for Irish goodbyes so let him live, like Indie: o Indie: ill run him a text rn Rio: i ever teach u how to be tactful or nah Rio: might need a mama moment 😏 Indie: wys Indie: i aint kno what that mean even Rio: it just means chillin' even when you hyped, 'cos the other person might not be, like Rio: he ain't livin' that pride life Rio: not 'bout being 🍀 like Indie: ooooooooooooo Indie: 👌👌👌👌 Indie: y tho? Rio: I don't know Rio: it's a process Rio: being comfortable with who you is Indie: how you gon b uncomfy w it Indie: lifes long Rio: plenty out there give u reasons why depending on who you is Rio: but it's just in you Rio: it's hard to explain when that ain't how you is but he is, always has been Indie: dash that Indie: poor baby boy Rio: I know Indie: ill just text him love Rio: you cute Indie: 💖💖💖💖 Indie: feelin it Rio: lookin' it Rio: 💘 Indie: shhh allow it Indie: nah man Rio: what you chattin' Rio: you beautiful Indie: not this nite bitch Rio: every night bitch Indie: hype girl vibes is it Indie: kkk Rio: shh i'm only a tiny bit drunk and feeling the luv Rio: also accidental racism come thru there Indie: o snap Indie: my bad Indie: not tryna dash you off that hard Rio: 😂 Rio: though if you ever need to Rio: like, cold but damn Indie: dont even play Indie: omf Rio: though so many whiteys in one place rn we could start a rally Indie: innit Indie: waste Rio: you're happy, aren't you indie Indie: bout what? Indie: what you mean? Rio: in general Rio: i mean Rio: you're okay, yeah Indie: idk baby im me in general Indie: just livin Rio: Hmm Indie: is you? Rio: Yeah Rio: I just want all of you to be too Indie: how you kno tho? Indie: whats the feelin? Rio: Happy? Indie: yeah how is it? Rio: it's like Rio: when you was a kid Rio: but you old enough to appreciate how good it is now Indie: so mckenna makes you feel like you lil Rio: no Rio: it's not like that, or that it's just him Rio: idk Indie: its like a good high or? Rio: not really Rio: it's like, no matter what shit is was or will be Rio: you still good Rio: nothing touches it Indie: yeah? Indie: thats a madness Indie: no wonder you two b amp af Rio: it's security Rio: i think Indie: thats wild Indie: how i b getting myself some of that shit like Rio: i'm no expert Rio: but i think u gotta know yourself, be comfy with it, know what you want and then be tryna get it Rio: and have good people 'round you who are solid too Rio: that's what i reckon anyway but who knows everything could go to shit and then this'll be awks Indie: nah you good Indie: like i said afore mckenna b cuffed now Indie: what i hear you sayin is i need a mans cos i kno myself & where i wanna get Indie: & i got heads all around Rio: hmm Rio: i don't remember saying that 😂 Indie: well i b sayin safe all the time but i aint b feelin no safety Indie: thats whats missin only from what you listin Indie: 🤔🤔🤔🤔 Rio: maybe it ain't as simple as i think then Rio: maybe if there's one wobbly brick, it all comes tumblin' down Rio: weakest link shit Indie: i feel that Rio: yeah Rio: i ain't know how to fix that Rio: i'm still happy Rio: most the time Indie: 💖💖💖👑👑💖💖 Indie: thats sick Indie: im hyped for you Rio: maybe i'm selfish then hmm Indie: naaah Indie: aint no thing wrong w feelin any type way Rio: but if you ain't and edie ain't and so many other people ain't Rio: then i shouldn't, like u can't 'cos of all this stuff Indie: me & edie too 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀 to know how we is Rio: that ain't good either Rio: i should do more i'm being too easy on myself now Indie: dash that Indie: you doin the most for me Indie: all in Indie: & she aint tryna let anyone do anything you kno Rio: i should just do it Rio: not give her the option Rio: we all should Rio: she's just a kid Rio: a kid who don't know what's good for her rn Indie: now i kno you drunk babe Indie: how you gon achieve it? Indie: cant help heads that aint want it Rio: lock her in her room 'til she ready to be good Rio: i know you can't but Rio: we failed her Rio: period Indie: if you lookin for that room to be trashed go off Indie: it aint none of you that failed her Indie: you kno who it was Rio: he never even tried Rio: not once Indie: & thats how it aint matter what you do Indie: it aint bout you Indie: none of Rio: it's fucked up Rio: 'cos you from him you don't get to be happy? what the fuck is that Indie: life bitch Indie: we aint get to choose where we from Rio: nah Rio: nah, that's bullshit i ain't having it Indie: it aint yours to have or to carry thats what im sayin Rio: no, fuck that Rio: don't you get that's exactly what he'd say and how he's living Rio: oh my mum didn't love me and so this is how i am, end of Rio: no growth no change no nothing Rio: he didn't have to do it like that just 'cos Rio: he made choices and you can too, both of you Indie: he didnt have to do no thing but i cant make him behave like you cant her Indie: they gon do what they gon do Indie: shes making her choices rn based on how she viewin none of us can get in her 👀 and get shit untwisted if she aint want Rio: she isn't like him Rio: don't say it like she is Indie: how she not? Indie: she got everything & all she see is what she think she aint got Rio: she just ain't alright Rio: we ain't doing this rn Indie: she is tho Indie: where she now? gone like how he do running from what she has like he do Indie: it aint exactly how they want it so they aint want it Rio: i mean it Rio: stop Indie: you gonna law me now Indie: is that how we doin Rio: you don't know what you're talking about Rio: i don't wanna listen Indie: you wish i aint kno Indie: thats why you dont wanna hear Rio: you're saying all this like you reckon you're better Rio: you don't know Rio: he chose you Rio: you don't know what it's like to be her Indie: what i kno is i used to chat at myself every nite wishing your rents would keep me and she dashes them over so hard it breaks them Indie: what i kno is they chose her & got mad love and what his is better cos he was inside your ma for a few? nah Indie: what i kno is that he was backed into a corner over me cos my ma fucked died Indie: yours gotta b punished cos she was strong enough to do her job fuck that Indie: im better cos im here & im real bout and on all this Rio: you don't think she don't know that Rio: you don't think it's half the root of her fucking problem Rio: lucky edie and poor indie Rio: so just stop because this ain't nothing i don't know, her too Rio: it's already on her without you ever saying it Indie: you say that like she wearing it Indie: she aint Rio: you blame her Rio: she wants to be drew's kid as little as you do, you'd be an idiot to believe her when she says opposite Rio: there's no points for being real here, she's not stupid, she knows what's up and it's fucked, you've got your ways of coping, she's got hers Rio: neither fucking work, clearly Indie: she blames me for more than ill ever blame her for Indie: & she aint tryna be anybody or anybodys Rio: nah Rio: she feels sorry for you though and that don't sit right does it Rio: because you should be sharing on it together yeah? but that ain't ever gonna happen because he didn't once claim her so you don't get to be sisters Rio: she don't know how to be Indie: bitch so do you it just came right out your mouth then & there 👌👌 Indie: & nah that aint sit right w me cos i aint ask to be none of you or your fam charity Indie: but i dont need her to be my sister no more than i need him to step up for me in any type of way Indie: i made my peace Rio: bullshit Rio: just like you say you safe but you ain't you say that but it's a crock of shit Rio: at least she isn't pretending to be fine Indie: u aint heard me say im fine Indie: but am i ghosting nah Rio: you always say it Rio: bet you told Meena you were too Indie: if you thinkin you hearing that from me you aint listenin Indie: i aint being real w her how i am w you cos she aint need that Rio: Jesus fucking Christ Rio: and Edie don't wanna be anybody's Rio: she's your family, we're your family too Rio: she might not be here but you may as well not be the way you try and shrink yourself to not be part of the 'Drew' problem, no bother to no one Indie: if thats how you want it ill bounce too then Rio: did i say that Indie: you are w how youre coming for me rn Rio: you started it Indie: nah Indie: i aint come for you once this whole time Rio: you came for her Indie: she aint you Rio: she's my sister Rio: and she's not here to defend herself Indie: bitch me too Indie: & she wouldnt defend herself if she was Rio: i know Rio: and that doesn't matter Rio: i still have to Indie: you cant have it all ways either im fam and shes my sister too or im separate and i cant speak on it Indie: how you want it Rio: nah Rio: we don't speak on it don't act like you ain't noticed Rio: you don't call each other out that's not what we do Indie: then i aint trying to be w none of you Indie: cos thats bait Rio: Fine Indie: you call me out any time it suits you to do it Rio: bitch when Indie: when i got inked you had plenty to say about it Indie: & when i got dashed before then Rio: telling you your shit boyfriend is shit and you're making an idiot out of yourself is entirely different to coming for her life and her entire being Rio: if you can fix it you can say it Indie: theres plenty of shit that could have been said to her afore it got to this Indie: but nah just come for my life tonite stead like Rio: i done said we failed her Rio: you think i don't know Indie: i aint tryna tell you how you think Indie: or what you kno Rio: nah come on Rio: you had all the answers 5 seconds ago Indie: fuck that Indie: & you if thats how you wanna be Rio: whatever Indie: pretend like you aint got no more to say like how i pretend im fine 👌👌 Indie: its chill Rio: you ain't listening Rio: i'm not wasting breath Indie: bitch im here where you think i is Indie: if i aint listening i be out Rio: you ain't ready to learn then Indie: what you tryna school me in? Indie: all you tellin me is idk what i'm chattin Rio: because you don't Indie: what am i learnin from you that my heads empty? Indie: tell me what you want me to kno Rio: i already said everything i wanted to say 'cos i ain't faking it Rio: so forget it Indie: you callin me out again now Indie: or you just want me to kno how real you is Indie: like i gotta be scared of the flex now Rio: yeah, i'm calling you out Indie: idk how you think you can when i been real w you on all this Indie: but go off girl if you feelin it Rio: That isn't the point, this isn't about me and you Indie: it is when you dragging me for ways i aint livin Rio: bullshit Rio: i'm not going over and over this Indie: ?? Indie: i dont get what you want Rio: just forget it at this point Rio: this isn't productive and it isn't going to be Indie: why tho Rio: Because what, you're going to start asking for help and then what when we just let you down too Rio: There is no solution to all this so if acting fine helps then go for it Rio: There's no point you stopping Indie: i aint gonna ask for no help cos they aint none Indie: its how i told you its mine to carry Indie: i fix what i fix how i do Rio: what exactly are you fixing Indie: are you asking whats wrong or calling out my copin ways? Rio: i know what's wrong Indie: then how you gon say i pretend like im fine Rio: just because you're bad at it doesn't mean you don't Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Rio: yeah Indie: you got jokes still Indie: love that Rio: i told you to stop and i said we weren't doing this but now this is over Indie: make it happen if you want it to Rio: fine Indie: such a ma thing to say Rio: shut up Rio: jesus Indie: go Indie: its what you tryna do Rio: oh is it Rio: what we do best yeah Rio: so you get to be all holier than thou i don't think so Indie: you aint tryna speak to me Indie: so be brave & do what you wanna for real Rio: more chatting with no clue Rio: for fuck sake Indie: you so clued in yeah 👌👌 Indie: my bad for forgetting it like Rio: don't speak to me like that Indie: you only law me i dont law you Rio: yeah that's how it is Indie: i kno Indie: like how i kno that even when you b aware my heart hurts you care about hers more Rio: yeah yeah yeah Rio: why, 'cos we got the same ma? Rio: that don't matter to me Rio: it matters to you two Rio: but act like it's just her, go on Indie: no cos you wont let me fucking speak Indie: & mayb tonite i need to Indie: but you only care about defending her not hearing me Rio: go ahead Rio: you reckon slagging her off is gonna make you feel any better Rio: it won't Indie: you been told me there aint no solutions anyway so whats it matter how i choose Rio: because it hurts me and makes you look dumb Rio: that's why it matters Rio: this isn't about her, it never needed to be Rio: it's about him, as fucking per Indie: its about me Indie: jfc Rio: and what haven't you said then Rio: and how doesn't that prove my point Rio: i asked you what you wanted to do Rio: i said we could go Rio: but you went with the usual like that's what the situation calls for, let me carry on partying and you go get high and act like you ain't thinking on him Rio: as if I'm that fucking stupid and that fucking selfish, I'm here waiting on you Indie: i said idk & i dont Indie: stop Rio: Let's just go Indie: you go if you want but i cant Rio: Nah Rio: nah you don't get to do this Indie: ?? Indie: what i done now Rio: You have to come because you have to talk about this Indie: you aint tryna talk to me no more you been made that obvious Indie: so who you want me to chat to? mckenna? Rio: Fucking hell Rio: I want to talk to you properly Rio: not like this because you won't leave and deal with it like it's actually a big deal Rio: come on Indie: the only big deal is how you be thinking on me Indie: & i aint tryna talk to you bout that anymore than Rio: what are you talking about Indie: all you been doing this whole time is chatting at me bout everything i do wrong for fixing this shit Indie: but telling me you got no means Rio: no i haven't Indie: check back w yourself cos thats how it is, i pretend im fine, i get high, i chat shit thats all wrong Indie: but you aint got no right way for me Rio: how about stop Rio: your taking shit outta context and adding 'em together when that ain't how it was said Indie: its how it feels Rio: well that isn't what i meant Indie: you wanna compare me to her but im doin my best to keep my shit together same as Rio: i only made any comparisons to point out the hypocrisy Rio: there's no need to come for her, trust me, it won't bring you any joy Indie: theres no need but sometimes i wanna Rio: We all do Indie: dont you 👀 now why i cant leave Indie: i aint tryna have my nite end like this Rio: what good do you think's gonna come Indie: i aint need good just not this Indie: get high enough to wipe it out like it was never Rio: doesn't work Rio: i don't know why you want me to be fake with you like it does when i been there and know better Indie: it works for me Indie: it worked for my ma too Rio: if it worked for your ma she would've got off the shit 'cos she'd be off and over your da too Rio: no it fucking doesn't Indie: you say that like he was her only Indie: problems b stacked Rio: loving him was her main Rio: everything else was survivable, don't get that twisted Indie: he was survivable too Rio: you reckon Indie: im surviving him Indie: edie is Indie: astrid will Rio: surviving ain't thriving Indie: maybe i aint get to thrive Indie: maybe i got that twisted Rio: you got some choices to make Indie: not yet Rio: why not? Indie: cos i aint grown Indie: you always b telling me i kno you aint forgot Rio: you haven't got that luxury, that's what you got twisted Rio: with a dad like that, no Indie: what choices i got w my years Indie: gotta go school & rest my head where im told Indie: thats surviving bitch Rio: you gotta choose how you feel about him and how deep you letting it run Indie: i dont get to choose that Indie: dont you get it Indie: hes ruining everything & he aint even here Rio: there's always a choice Rio: you love him like your ma and ro do, he fucks your life up fully Rio: you hate him as much as edie, same Rio: you gotta be the bigger person than him already and fucking live and let live, actually make peace with this shit 'fore it gets you too Indie: nah cos i dont love him or hate him & shits still a mess Indie: idk how to stop it Rio: shit's never not going to be a mess Indie: idk how to make my peace w that Indie: not on a level thats for real Rio: that's what i can't tell you Rio: 'cos me either Indie: then how tf do i stop him ruining me Indie: cept get as close to not feelin anything as i can Indie: but youre telling me no to that Rio: i don't know Rio: feel nothing for him Rio: that's the best i've got Indie: thats how im tryna be Indie: idk what happy is but i kno what starting a day high feels like Indie: how possible it makes shit feel & how invincible i am to anything i dont want Rio: go get high then Indie: but youll leave Rio: I ain't trying be that, that's not how it is for me Indie: i love you Indie: tell me how it should be Rio: I love you too Rio: I just meant I'm not going to sit around and get high with you too, I can't Rio: you've got your friends for that Rio: I'll be at home Indie: dont go without me Indie: ill come with Indie: i meant how i said i aint tryna go looking for them Rio: Okay Rio: come on then Indie: is mckenna gonna be vexed at me now too Rio: i'm not Rio: first of all Rio: and why would he be Indie: cos i want you to stay w me Rio: no, he'll get it Rio: i'm not with him anyway, i told you, i've been waiting for you, no sense him too Rio: probably go home with his da Indie: but he aint here for long Indie: im not tryna do you like that serious Rio: trust me, it's fine Rio: let me worry about him as and when Indie: ok Indie: im sorry for how i chatted Indie: doin you & edie dirty Rio: I'm sorry too, things got heated and potentially things were said that shouldn't, or at least said in unhelpful ways Rio: I just want good things for you, I just want you to be alright Rio: both of you, equally as much Indie: i kno Indie: & trust my head & heart wont b this rinsed always Indie: its just Rio: it literally just happened, it's still sinking in if at all Rio: no matter how many times, you were too young on a lot of 'em to feel it how you do now Rio: not dissing Meena on how she did it either but idk, not tonight Indie: i really thought on him stepping up for astrid Indie: thats so chief of me but Indie: & i was so high when she told me Rio: I know Rio: I thought he might too but Rio: just say he didn't have the chance now yeah Rio: like how he didn't with Edie 'cos Ma wouldn't be with him Rio: whatever Rio: and I'm drunk, we need to go to bed Rio: it'll be there in the morning Indie: youll be there too yeah no drunk rollin out the bed like Rio: of course Rio: i might need to throw up and lay on the tiles for a bit but i'm an adult, you'll never even clock Indie: imma join cos can we all stop acting that guinness aint filth Indie: what mckenna on bout man Indie: he aint even from here Rio: 😂 Rio: it's so heavy, barely ate 'cos I feel like I been feasting all day Rio: really helps with getting you pished faster, nicely played Guinness Indie: it taste how when i was little & watchin your ma fix her truck & put this old spanner in my mouth Rio: So legit Rio: Be the iron Rio: should get Ro on 'em forreal Indie: put her on a drip Indie: proper drs orders soz step ma Indie: pint in the vein Rio: Imagine mainlining booze Rio: people would, especially today, no fucking chill Indie: unhectic Indie: nah ty Indie: but yeah even my 🐶 be on his feral hype rn jam baby boy Rio: He too lil, that carling did him in Indie: who tf Indie: he needs zzzzzzzzzzzs too Indie: mckenna be shit dog daddy Rio: just don't take away the dog part of that Rio: he'd be gutted Indie: just dont let him put a 👶 in you Indie: im savin you tonite but aint be there all time Rio: Behave Rio: I won't Indie: we all 👀 him holding my younger like she 💣 Indie: never done seen a boy so scared Rio: he got reasons Rio: nah no Rio: dash that Indie: wys Indie: cos his younger? Rio: yeah Indie: how old would he be? its a madness Rio: Like... Rio: God Rio: 8? Rio: Bit younger than Gus Indie: he'd be running w him & di Rio: Yeah Rio: Now I wanna cry all over again Indie: soz Indie: i love dem boys tho Indie: how would he be lookin? mckenna & other mckenna are so different for twins like Rio: init Rio: god knows Rio: cute tho Indie: frecks for days i reckon Indie: their das skipped em Rio: awh Indie: like di but not as cute cos u kno Indie: he 😍😍😍 Rio: yeah he a babe Rio: changed my mind want a baby broody now Indie: i aint tryna see the footage of me he got today tho wildin Indie: i wanna have so many 👶👶👶👶👶 Indie: but in years Rio: he a menace with that 📹 Rio: but he does know angles so 🤞 Rio: years and years and years, don't need to repeat ma Indie: he gon be somebody w dem skillz Indie: yeah man i wanna be 👵 af fore i start Indie: like ro Rio: i don't wanna be that old Rio: how i gonna be a MILF then Indie: u kno catch me @ 25 Indie: i aint got chill Indie: & you a milf now bitch hello Rio: you know i ain't but i'll have to live vicariously probs Rio: 😘 ty Indie: mckenna will step up to b a real daddy you all good Rio: it makes it too real Rio: stick with my imaginary dream baby daddy Indie: you got a 💎💍💎 girl how fake is it Indie: mhmmm tho who he be? 😏😏😏😏 Rio: this diamond be so real bitch Rio: wys Indie: lemme bite it Indie: nah thats porcelain yeah Indie: idk Indie: gold? Indie: its something Rio: 😂 child you feral Rio: stay away from my hand and my bling Indie: rude Indie: speaking on imma start climbin if i cant get thru these heads towards you soon Indie: dont get the wrong idea lads Rio: it's literally ridiculous Rio: can't see a damn thing but buster n his da 'cos they freaky giants, head for them like they a landmark bitch Indie: ive shouted well much native 👅 & these wasteman aint tryna no none Indie: fake 🍀 three times removed or what boyyys Rio: that's the real tea Rio: yanks be out here with their st pattys like bitch no Indie: gingers too Indie: it aint make you one of us cos you 🥕 Indie: if you repin you repin Rio: @Nance next time babe Indie: ill say it in irish she aint kno Indie: posh girl Rio: 😶 savage Rio: omg Indie: she wearin the colours but she aint got her mouth round them sounds soz bout it Indie: my ma aint kno none either tho what a madness Rio: s'a dying language babe, loads natives don't even Indie: hacks Indie: we can say how we want Rio: imma text granddad and be like put on danny boy Rio: get 'em emosh, be easier to get out Indie: 👑👑👑 moves Indie: til i get something in my eye again & cant find my way out Rio: you don't work in pubs long as i did without knowing how to calm a crowd babe Indie: innit tho Rio: ooh, I see you Rio: swerve them or imma have to explain Indie: 👀 & 👂s baby Indie: ✌✌✌✌
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chocosvt · 7 years
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🌙☔🌼 (n also i hope you're doing well ! :)) - farminghao♡
i am doin amazing i hope ure doin well too
🌙: what you do to distract yourself from your thoughts.
OH GOSH. my thoughts are constant n never ending n loud n anxious n overwhelming but i never distract myself from my thoughts bc my thoughts are me n without half the chaos tht goes on in my head i think i would feel pretty alone?? WHA IM MAKIN MYSLEF CRY ACTUALLY BC ERVJNEB okay i jsut,,,, i jsutnb. i can’t even answer this question honestly!!! there are times when ive felt so far away from everyone else around me n tht even the ppl i was closest to, i couldn’t even share with them a portion of how i actually felt. despite the closeness my friends n family offered, i could not open up the way i truly wanted to? bc of this the only person i could open up to was myself?? like i became my own best friend???? DOES THT EVEN MAKE SENSE. IDK. im not gonna say anything else just,,,, i dont distract myself from them!!
☔: things that relax me.
sorting things!!! organization!! neatness!! i will actually offer 2 clean n organize things for ppl bc it relaxes me.
🌼: favourite nature related things.
flowers!!!!! i rly lov flowers. i could care less abt nature but i do care abt flowers, n since flowers are part of nature i have 2 care abt it. but just flowers. also ferns!!
[ pls do not send in any more, ty! ]
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