#hq suna angst

[rintaco]

𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐌𝐄, 𝐇𝐈𝐌: (𝐈)

suna x reader (fem)

angst. slight fluff. 4.1k words

chapter one. (why do you come, when it’s already too late?) summary: suna knows you, and you know him. yet despite all of your feelings for each other, would it be enough to brave the tests of life? or is it just futile efforts leading to fruitless outcomes?

Love wasn’t something that he’d say he prioritised. He’d always been one to think that if he ended up dying alone, then that’s that. That he’ll be fine with it. That it doesn’t really matter. Maybe that’s why he couldn’t see. Maybe that’s why he never recognised it; his own habits, behavior, emotions.

Not until he’s been brought to this point.

Suna’s sitting in his car in the pouring rain, jacket hood pulled over his head, head slumped over the wheel, vehicle parked right outside your apartment complex. He sighs; it’s been a long day.

Suna knew. Suna’s always known.

You’re a good person. Down to your bones. Every fibre of your being screamed good. Everything your parents wanted, you’d adhere to them.

You’d always scored good grades, even back when he first got to know you in high school. Suna found out later on that it was because your mother’s family owned a huge pharmaceutical company, and that your parents were both strict businesspeople. That was why you strove so hard to mirror even a little of such success. Both you and Suna were always taking turns topping classes. That was where all your banter started. Though, you were a peaceful person above all. You’d always play mediator. No matter who was fighting.

Yeah he remembers. Why wouldn’t he?

There was a time when you argued with him. The only bad part was that he couldn’t fucking remember why. But it took a toll. Usually when you two fought it’d be over in a matter of seconds because either of you would give in.

But that situation was different.

It was bad. It got bad to the point where that was the first time he let his best friend go to sleep angry. Sad. Frustrated. It was bad to the point where Suna felt that same way. Couldn’t even fall asleep. It was bad to the point where he saw the circles under your eyes get darker the next day he saw you at school. The guilt had gnawed at him the entire day.

You ignored him when he asked if you could talk. Pushed past his shoulder. Forcefully and all.

He remembers you ignoring him for three days straight. He remembers not wanting to be on bad terms with you anymore. Because fuck, you’re his best friend. And he was just a teenager at age seventeen who didn’t know shit about the world—but if he could be absolutely sure of one thing? It was that the world would suck without you in his life.

It was criminal how someone could have a hold over someone else like you had over him. Didn’t even have a normal appetite for those three days because you ignored his texts. Couldn’t even hit a good spike during training because you chose to greet Atsumu at the court but not him. Made him realise that his girlfriend at the time didn’t mean shit next to you.

Suna straightens up, eyes widening. Now he remembers why you were fighting.

EIGHT YEARS AGO

“So, should I go with her?”

You deadpanned. It was almost funny how unamused you were. “Are you high?”

“No.”

“Then why are you asking a dumb question?”

“Aren’t you the one who’s always calling me a dumbass?”

“Didn’t think you were this dumb, though.”

A pregnant pause filled the room. Your fingers on the controller stopped moving. Suna won that round. But he toggled the off button for his switch. The screen turned blank.

Neither of you spoke for a while.

“Chill out, would you?”

That was the night that Suna learned telling you to ‘chill out’ during a fight was a no-go.

“Whatever, Rin,” you sighed, tossing the controller onto his bed behind you. You were grabbing your bag. All Suna could remember was feeling indignant because what the fuck was up with you? “Why don’t you just ask Rokka to come over? I’m leaving.”

You were pouting. He could hear it in your voice. But he didn’t fucking get it.

(He should’ve. In hindsight, he really should’ve.)

“Dude, what the fuck?”

(That wasn’t the way to go either.)

You were silent. Uncharacteristically silent. Usually if it was an argument that wasn’t too serious you’d be an ass. Just spouting words that made sense to you and then Suna would relegate his loss and then you’d force him to buy you ice cream even if it was twelve fucking a.m. and the both of you had classes the next day.

“Let it go, Rin.” The defeat in your voice wasn’t one he recognised. It was like you telling him I’m tired of talking, can we just drop this? And he didn’t want to.

You were being weird and Suna wanted to get to the bottom of it. But he was stubborn. And impatient. And impulsive. And spiteful.

Yeah, mostly spiteful. Spiteful because he wanted to hear something from you, but you never said the words.

In that moment, just before you started walking toward the door, he scoffed. He’d already dialled his (then) girlfriend’s number, and she’d picked up within seconds. Like always. For him.

“Hey, baby?”

“Yeah, Rin?” She sounded unusually happy. Probably because Suna didn’t use petnames too often with her back then.

“Think you could come over?” For a split second, he thought he almost saw you turn around. He wonders now what expression was on your face then. But you didn’t turn around. So Suna took it as his cue to be an ass. “Had a fight with someone. Wanna come over? Would be nice to talk to a pretty face for a change today.”

He knew. He knew it was a dick move. Yet he did it anyway. Because he was dumb. Fucking dumb, just like you always pointed out. But you had said them playfully. Yet he knew at that moment he deserved it. He knew his words would hurt you—and that was why he did it.

For some reason, you unintentionally hurt him. And that was him getting back at you, childish as it was.

Suna didn’t even wait for Rokka to respond, he just hung up then and there. He just wanted you to hear what he said. He just wanted to hurt you. In that one single moment. That single second. But the moment you actually turned around, whatever softness you had toward him before had vanished.

You were angry. And he’d never seen you angry. Not at him. Your ire was never directed at him. Until then. And then he realised what he’d done.

He hurt you. He hurt his best friend. On purpose. Just because of something he didn’t yet realise. If the roles were reversed, he knew you wouldn’t have done the same to him. You were better than him. You always were.

“Fuck you, Suna Rintarou.” You spat that in his face. And then slammed his bedroom door shut.

[ PRESENT ]

Even now he can remember your eyes when you spat those words at him. Since then he made himself promise that he would never do anything that’d upset you that much again. He drew a line he’d force himself never to cross. It stumped him back then, why he would do such a thing for anyone.

Doesn’t come as a surprise to himself now. He knows why. He could lose anyone—but not you. It took him way too long to realise, to admit to himself, but he’s run out of excuses. He had six whole damn months to do this, but look at him now. It’s so fucking corny that he’s laughing at himself.

Because now he’s at the precipice.

If he doesn’t do something, he just might lose you for good. The first step is for him to get out the fucking door so why can’t he bring himself to? A part of him wants to think it’s wrong of him and that he shouldn’t go through with this, but another part of him is telling him that what’s wrong is not saying a thing at all.

His green eyes flick up; your apartment’s on the eighth floor. The lights are on. You’re awake. He chuckles to himself. It’s 2am and you’re awake. 2am. Just like that night eight years prior. Except you’re both all grown up now. And that you have a big day tomorrow.

He can’t help but wonder— are you nervous? Excited? A part of him doesn’t want to admit that he wishes you’re feeling regretful.

On a normal day, he’d shake that small part of him away. But not tonight. He won’t do that tonight. He can’t.

He remembers Osamu’s words from earlier: if you don’t do it now you’ll regret it forever. He remembers Kita’s too: that’s what I’ve been trying to figure out myself too—why haven’t you done it sooner? Hell, even Atsumu’s words made sense.

Might wanna hurry up before you really lose her, you dumb fuck. As entertaining as it it, don’t really wanna see you being a loser your whole life.

A ghost of a smile graces Suna’s lips. He really is a dumb fuck. He came all the way here, what the fuck else is he waiting for? Atsumu’s right. He doesn’t ever want to lose you. In any sense of the word.

So there he is, on a Tuesday night, at 2am in the morning, getting out of his car into the pouring rain and running to your apartment. There he is, shooting his first shot with you since the ten years that he’s known you. There he is, fucking shivering in your apartment lobby, getting into the lift—hair matted wet against his face and wearing his heart on his sleeve.

It’s like he’s possessed by something he can’t explain—his feet takes him to your door, the familiar mahogany wood a welcoming sight. Anything he could relate to you would be anything good.

Even the way he knocks on your door feels foreign because he can’t remember the last time he did something that felt this right.

And when you open the door and see him outside in this state, your eyes widen. But they welcome him, still. They always do. Because that’s how you feel too, don’t you?

Yeah, you will always feel for Suna Rintarou. Just like how he will always feel for you.

EIGHT YEARS AGO.

Three days after you flipped out at Suna for being an ass, you started hating yourself for not being able to sleep well.

It was stupid. He was stupid. Such an asshole. Who the fuck dates a girl for a year and then ask their best friend if they should uproot their lives just to follow their girlfriend to a whole other continent?

Volleyball. Scholarship. Family. He had so much to stay in Japan for. So why the fuck was he even seriously considering it? Did they mean nothing to him?

…did you?

Maybe you should’ve just said something. But either way, it’d paint you in a bad light, wouldn’t it?

Your eyes caught sight of the digital clock on your nightstand. 2am. You’d been having a horrible time trying to sleep these past few days. Your phone was vibrating on your study desk. You didn’t want to pick it up. It could only be Suna, and you were still mad at him for what he said.

Insulting you to your face wasn’t something you’d stand for. Even if he thought Rokka was prettier than you, the least he could do was keep it to himself.

You really shouldn’t have wasted your tears over him that night. It wasn’t worth it. He probably started making out with Rokka the minute she came anyway, thoughts of his best friend hurriedly pushed aside. You thought it was pathetic how you could be thinking that and still be tearing up.

The knock on your window seemed to make them stop though. Your brows furrowed; half afraid of what was there. Logical reasoning told you it was Suna himself, but the dumb part of you thought it might be a ghost. The moment you opened your curtains, Suna may as well have been a ghost. He was wearing all white and face pale as a sheet. And for a moment there, you forgot that you swore to yourself you wouldn’t talk to him.

“What are you doing here in the middle of the night?” You were half-whispering half-screaming at him. As much as you wanted to make his ears bleed, you’d rather not wake your parents up. That was a whole other kind of hell to deal with.

Suna only offered a sheepish smile, the boyish gaze slipping through the gaps in his bangs. He climbed in slowly, sidestepping the clothes you’d tossed on the floor of your room. He’d been in here so many times you didn’t doubt he knew every inch of your room as well as you did.

“Someone wouldn’t pick up my calls.”

You shut the window, glad that you couldn’t see his expression right then. A sigh escaped your lips as you drew the curtains shut, deciding to interrogate him on how exactly he managed to climb up three storeys to your window.

“Someone is mad at you,” you replied, opting to ignore him standing there completely and just climbed under your covers again. They were perfectly comfortable and he was the culprit that got you out of them in the first place. He could stand in the middle of your room all night for all you cared.

He didn’t, though. He sat gently down at the side of your bed, careful not to get any part of you. Suna wasn’t looking directly at you, gaze fixed instead on what you thought may have been the most interesting piece of wall ever if he was staring at it that intently.

“I’m sorry.”

It wasn’t shocking that he was. As much as Suna seemed to be aloof most of the time and as much as he goofed around, he had always been perceptive. You’d always known that. What stunned you was the fact that he outright said it. He didn’t. Not usually.

The Suna you knew liked to go through an entire round of bullshit before he’d say anything close to an apology. The Suna you knew always hid behind tough words to convey his feelings. The Suna you knew was dumb, and an ass, and would rather die than ever admit he was wrong.

Yet here he was. Apologising as if it was something he said often.

It wasn’t until he turned to look at you slightly that you realised you’d been silent all along and burning a hole in his face. And if he’d come close enough, you thought that maybe you could confirm if those really were tears threatening to spill from the edges of his eyes.

A smirk lit his expression up. “I know I’m hot but quit staring,” he teased.

You thought he was but like hell were you admitting it. It was one of the traits you shared with him.

“Fuck off, Rin.” You were pouting. But unlike the other day, you felt better. Warmer inside. Like everything was fine again. You weren’t letting that comment slide easily—if he thought everything was okay just because of a damn apology he had another thing coming.

All you wanted was a peaceful night again without thoughts of Suna’s hurtful words disturbing it. As much as your logic screamed at you that he didn’t mean it, a nagging feeling at the back of your head kept thinking he did. And you didn’t know why his opinion mattered so much. Not back then. Before you could even think of opening your mouth and giving him a piece of your mind, you felt a hand on your cheek.

Opening your eyes, you found Suna’s clear green eyes inches away from your face. He had moved to squatting next to your bed, face level with yours. He wasn’t staring at anything in particular—you could see he was deep in thought—but his gaze happened to rest on your lips, and you were doing everything you could not to tremble.

“I didn’t mean any of it, y’know?” His voice was low and hoarse. His thumb was tracing circles on your cheek. “I was frustrated, and ended up saying something I didn’t mean.”

You understood. You were frustrated that day too. You didn’t really understand why you were. You just were.

If Suna didn’t sound sincere, you would’ve swatted his hand away, but he was your best friend—you knew he was genuine. Suna would never put on an act like this. He was being real.

“I hate you for that, Suna Rintarou.” You closed your eyes; you didn’t think you could handle staring at his perfect face any longer than you already were. He was too close. His fingers were too warm. His lips felt too far.

He chuckled. “How ‘bout I make it up to you, hm?” His thumb was still tracing circles. Your eyes were closed but you felt like you could feel him actually staring at you this time. You didn’t dare to open your eyes. You didn’t want to be wrong.

“Then you’ll probably spend your entire life trying to make it up to me.”

“You proposing to me already? Way too early, babe.”

You get up and hit him on the shoulder for his joke. Plus, you had to turn around. You’d rather not let him see your flustered expression. Was this really what you felt for him?

“Don’t ‘babe’ me. Shut up before Rokka flies over here and slaps the shit out of me for trying to steal her boyfriend.”

Suna was laughing, and you could feel the mattress sink under his weight as he sat beside your sleeping body. He leaned down, and this time, his lips were way too close. You could feel his hot breath fanning against your ear.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head, I broke up with her a couple days ago.”

“What?”

You felt like a terrible person for feeling a little hopeful about the fact that he was single again. Rokka hadn’t always been extremely nice to you, but that poor girl probably felt hurt too. After all, all you could recall about her was her swooning publicly over Suna all the time.

“Yeah, it just wasn’t working out.” There was something in the tone of his voice that made you feel like you shouldn’t pry further. And normally you’d ignore that, but this time you listened.

“And now you come crying to me or something?”

Suna scoffed. “Nah, I just really missed my best friend and wanted to tell her how pretty she is.”

Any normal person would think that anyone saying that was just trying their luck, but luckily you knew him better than that. He wasn’t lying, but with the amount of things he was saying now that he doesn’t usually say, he’d gotten your heart beating out of your chest.

“Shut—”

“I’ll never do that to you again,” he blurted out before you could finish your sentence. “I promise.”

You didn’t know what that was referring to, but you accepted it anyway. You missed your best friend too, after all.

“You better.”

“I promise,” he repeated.

He kept it.

[ PRESENT ]

“Rin? What’re you doing here?”

Seeing Suna out of breath and showing up at your apartment at 2am brings back memories. Except the previous time he wasn’t soaked from the rain. And this time, you aren’t fighting.

So why’s he here at 2am? You can’t think of anything that could be going wrong.

“Don’t go through with it.”

Your heart drops. It’s not what you expected him to say. You don’t understand a thing. “What?”

Suna swallows the lump in his throat. He sees the way you’re looking at him like he’s a madman. And you should. He’s saying things he shouldn’t be. “Don’t marry him.”

You don’t know how to feel. A part of you has always loved Suna. A part of you loves him in a way you can’t explain. But can you really throw everything aside just for him? Just because he decides to show up twelve hours before your wedding and tells you not to go through with it?

“Are you high?”

This time, Suna isn’t going to answer wrong.

“I’ve never been this sane in the longest fucking time,” he tells you, taking one of your hands in his.

It tears your heart in two to even be having this conversation. “What are you talking about, Rin?”

He holds your hand tighter. “I love you.”

It’s weird. Weird to finally hear it. Weird to think that all along your feelings were the same. Weird to be feeling conflicted when at one point of time you thought you’d give anything to hear him say those words.

But a lot’s changed in eight years.

“I’m sorry it took me this long to say it, but—”

“And I’m sorry but… I can’t.”

There. You said it. You yank your hand away from his, and you have no guts to look him in the eyes. It was hard enough for you to say no to him. You can’t afford to sway now.

For a few seconds, the both of you just stand there in silence. It feels like hours though. Suna’s taken aback by the lack of feedback. He doesn’t understand it either. He knows you feel the same. So why won’t you?

“I know it’s selfish of me,” he says. He knows. “And I know it’s last minute—” he uses his fingers to tip your chin up to look at him. “But do you even love him?”

“That’s not fair.” You try to pull your hand away but he draws nearer to you.

Suna rests his forehead against yours. “It’s an arranged marriage,” he reminds you, eyes closed. “It’s purely for business, isn’t it? If you don’t want to go through with it, I’m sure your parents wouldn’t object.”

You want to tell him you didn’t have much of a choice. You want to tell him how much he overestimates your parents’ characters. You want to tell him that you’d put it off long enough. You want to scream at him for not confessing sooner.

So you steel your resolve.

“And what makes you think I don’t want this?”

“Do you?” Suna challenges.

You pull away to look him in the eyes. “Why wouldn’t I? He’s a great guy. He’s a gentleman, even if we aren’t all that close. He treats me well, and our parents get along great.”

“Do you love him?” Suna asks again.

You’re too tired to fight your feelings, so you resort to pushing him away. Your hand extends to push him away from your door, and you look at him one last time, the hand on the door handle trembling slightly. You want to tell him that you’ll see him tomorrow, but with what just went down, would he even still attend the wedding?

So you opt for another goodbye.

“Take care, Rin,” you whisper as you shut the door, your body crumbling to the ground as you sob your feelings out, hoping that Suna doesn’t hear a thing before he leaves.

A few minutes later, you hear the ding of the elevator and suppose that that’s Suna leaving. You hear his feet dragging against the floor, and you feel like the worst human being ever.

“Are you okay?”

The sudden voice startles you, but you look up to find a familiar face. Your soon-to-be husband. Despite only having known him for a short time, whatever you told Suna is true. He’s a decent man, you could tell.

“I couldn’t sleep and overheard you guys fighting.”

You force a smile. “Yeah, it’s nothing.”

You attempt to get up, only to find that he’s settling down beside you against the door. He looks at you through his black tresses and offers you a small smile.

“It’s not nothing if you’re crying like that,” he tells you. He feels warm. And you’re thankful you have him. You’re thankful that out of everyone, at least you didn’t get anyone creepy or insufferable. “You can tell me about it.”

He may not be Suna, but he understands you well, to a certain degree. The smile that appears on your face this time is a real one. “Thanks, S—”

“It’s been six months. Am I still that much of a stranger to you?” He cuts you off.

You giggle. You haven’t called him by his first name before, but it’s cute to see that it’s been bothering him. You don’t know if your mind’s going to change overnight, but you’re still grateful to have him here beside you.

Slowly, you rest your head in the crook of his neck. He smells clean, fresh. He always does. A small smile breaks through his usually stern expression after hearing your next words.

“Thanks, Kiyoomi.”

[renardiererin]

tattoo artist!suna who uses his surprising strength to keep your legs spread open with his head a little bit too close to your pussy as he presses the ink into the spot on your inner thigh you requested

tattoo artist!suna whose breathing gets heavier everytime you whimper at the pain of the needle

tattoo artist!suna who “accidentally” runs his fingertips lightly over your nipples when you come back in the next week saying you want a tattoo under your boob

tattoo artist!suna who holds you tightly by your throat when you say you want a tattoo on your collarbone

tattoo artist!suna who puts his thumb on your bottom lip and pulls it down with a light pinch of the flesh when you say you want a tattoo on the inside of your bottom lip

“this is gonna hurt a bit, pretty. you sure you’re ready?”

tattoo artist!suna who can barley contain himself when you realize the pain of a lip tattoo was worse than you expected, as you wrap your hands in his hair and tense every muscle in your body.

tattoo artist!suna who- once you’re dating, and have gotten used to him giving you random little tattoos at home all the time- will hold a pretty vibrator in your dripping pussy, overstimulating you and your pretty clit until you’re crying and shaking as he tells you to stay still so he can finish the tattoo on the back of your thigh

“stay still, doll face, i can’t fuck this up. the more you shake, the harder it is to ink you up”

tattoo artist!suna who happily engraves his name in your thigh, opposite of the spot where he gave you your first tattoo that time when he wanted so badly to take off your little shorts and dive into your pretty pussy right then.

tattoo artist!suna who now knows you’re his and his only, and can fulfill the fantasies that once clouded his brain.

tattoo artist!suna who forces patience out of himself so that first thing when he’s done writing his name on your thigh he can slide off your thin underwear and tell you for the thousandth time about how to take care of a new tattoo in between licks up your pussy, until he’s done and can finally tonguefuck his pretty girl into orgasm.

[noosayog]

[Said Enough] Suna might have said too much but what's he supposed to do if you won't let him apologize?

wc: 1k

contents/warnings: angst(!!!) to fluff, quick drabble bc my Atsumu exes to lovers longfic isn't writing itself

“Oh,” you say. You stare at Suna and he watches you blink once before the last bit of light in your eyes dies out, irises glazing over. 

Shit, he thinks. He’s running after you because he realizes what’s about to happen next. 

All that comes out of your mouth is “okay. Um. I’ll just…” you don’t finish that sentence before running to the bathroom and locking the door shut. 

He runs after you, but you beat him to it. The door slammed in his face, Suna rests his forehead against the wood and lays a flat palm on the divider between you two. “Baby…” 

He doesn’t know what to say. He can hear your sobs and hiccups through the door, frustrated that he’s the cause but can’t get to you. 

Scared to death thinking about what giving you your space could mean for the two of you. 

“Baby, I’m sorry. Can you please open the door so we can talk?” but he knows it’s a lost cause. It’s been a lost cause since you beat him to the door. Turning around so that his back is against the door, he crumples down to the floor, head buried in his hands. 

He should’ve known the second he saw the shutter in your eyes. He should’ve- fuck - he should’ve grabbed onto you to stop you from closing that door and shutting yourself away. He completely deserves to be single after the hurtful things he said to you tonight, and he wants a chance to apologize. Preferably, to your face. But with a literal wall between you two, you now have all night to think about what he said. All night to realize you deserve better. All night to conclude that you should leave him. Nothing scares him more than the look you’ll give him in the morning when you realize how much he doesn’t deserve you. 

The rest of the night is spent periodically checking in on you and sending apologies through the walls. Your sobbing eventually quiets down into slow, measured deep breaths and but that brings little comfort. He can only hope you’re peacefully asleep and not awake to gather your thoughts and solidify your breakup speech for him. 

–

Suna’s jolted awake next morning when the wall he’s leaning against suddenly shifts. He’s falling backwards as the door slowly opens, revealing your swollen cheeks and red eyes. 

As if his nightmares have come true, there’s no uncertainty in your expression. It’s polite and shuttered. 

“Rintaro,” you rasp, voice gravelly. 

He’s already shaking his head. 

“I think we should-” 

He can’t let you finish that sentence. If this is the last chance he’s been waiting for, he needs to do something. So he puts both hands on your shoulders, gently, and looks straight into your eyes. It takes a surprising amount of courage to face that foreign look you’re fixing him with, and he realizes how lucky he has been to always be on the receiving end of your warm gaze and easy smiles. 

“Please,” he whispers, almost begging. “Give me a chance to say I’m sorry.” 

“I think you’ve said enough,” you respond, avoiding his eyes.

“Sometimes,” he starts. “Sometimes, I say too much and I’ll try harder to not do that. But more than that, I don’t say enough. I don’t tell you I love you enough and I don’t tell you how much I appreciate everything you do for me enough. I also don’t say I’m sorry enough but I want to stop doing things that I’d need to apologize for.” 

You’re still not looking at him, but your lips are wavering and your eyes are watering. 

“But I can’t change last night, so I want to apologize. I’m so, so sorry, baby. I’ll say it as many times as I need to.” As many times as you’ll allow me to. 

His heart is palpitating and he can feel his pulse racing so hard, he can feel it through his veins. He wants to clench his fist to channel the nerves elsewhere, but they’re on your shoulders, and after last night, he can’t even think of treating you with anything other than the gentlest of touches. So you can understand how much you mean to him and how much he means to take care of you. 

Yes, he didn’t mean any of the things he said last night, but he does mean to treat you well. He only hopes those intentions are enough. 

Suna puts a hand on your cheeks and wipes the tears away with his thumbs, fingers lingering. Your tears don’t stop and the hiccups are starting again. You’re shaking your head at him and his heart drops. He hasn’t thought about what he would do if you don’t accept his apology. His voice is shaking a bit as he pleads his case. 

“I… don’t want to break up,” the last two words whispered, as if he was scared that saying them aloud would give them power. 

You’re sobbing, not saying anything, just shaking your head. 

Suna doesn’t know what that means, only desperately hoping that you mean you don’t want to separate either. He throws his arms around you, tightly crushing you against his chest. He squeezes his eyes shut, bracing for impact, and he can hardly believe it when you reciprocate. 

“You were so mean to me, Rin,” you blubber. 

“I know, baby. I’m sorry.” 

“I hate you,” you’re wailing right into his neck now. 

“I know, I know. I love you.” 

When your sobs finally settle down, you keep your arms around his neck. “Rin, I’m sleepy,” you murmur, nuzzling into him. 

He hums, the relief and lack of sleep hitting him all at once. He’s just as unwilling to let you go as you’re unwilling to let him go, so he picks you up by the thighs and takes you to get the sleep you both missed out on last night.

[rishiguro]

HAIKYUU BOYS WHEN THEY THROW THEIR WEDDING RING

ft. bokuto; suna; atsumu: kuroo; ushijima

a/n: the fact that i posted this exact prompt on my deleted blog but i don't remember it anymore—

jjk version

it was no secret that BOKUTO sometimes had problems controlling his emotions. he wasn't necessarily as affected by them as he was in high school, but there were enough moments that made him feel ashamed when he thought about them; just like he did right now. he was sobbing violently, his arms pressing you as close to you as ohysically possible. he wailed apologies, only stopping to take a breath every once in a while. he snapped out of his anger the moment the ring left his hand, but he was afraid that the damage couldn't be undone. he could only beg, proclaiming his love for you over and over, even if he knew that his behaviour just disproved his claims.

arguing with SUNA was tiresome. it was like he never even cared, not being attentive and only brushing you off. he never thought about the impact of his words once he did answer you, trying to get you off his back as soon as possible and with any means necessary. but even he understood when he went too far. he realized it when you took a deep breath, muttering something that he could not understand and turned around, disappearing into the bedroom only to come out a few minutes later with a bag over your shoulder, not even sparing him a glance as you rushed out the door. he clenched his jaw, picking the ring up and clenching his fist, staring out the window with a heavy chest.

ATSUMU was a prideful and confident person, he hated being confronted with his faults. he never really reacted well afterwards, either snickering a comment back or just waving the criticism off. no one was safe from this side of him, not even you. but he wasn't an idiot either. he saw the way your face fell when his ring landed on the floor, how you were shaking as you went and picked it up, only to retreat into the bedroom silently. he stayed still, not even daring to move an inch, only looking at the place you stood just a second ago. how did he let it go this far?

KUROO hated arguing and the yelling that came with it. he hated the irrational things he says during them, how every sense of reason is being thrown into the wind just to get to you because of his pride. and right after he threw his wedding ring across the room and stormed out, slamming the door behind him, he broke down, hugging his knees as he cried. he didn't know what came over him, he didn't know why he would ever think that what he did was okay but how could he face you after what he had done?

it was rare that arguments with USHIJIMA got so heated. you barely ended up shouting at each other, much less underline your words with some kind of big gestures. so it was even a bigger shock when he raised his voice at you, fiddling with the ring on his finger until throwing it away with some accusatory yell. you were too shocked to even say anything, only extending your arms in front of you to protect yourself as you stared at him with big eyes. he wanted to step closer, he wanted to hug you, he wanted to fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness; anything so that you wouldn't look so afraid of him anymore.

reblogs are appreciated

[svnarin]

- so like maybe like a fic/drabble/whatever with suna when reader and him get in a fight and reader leaves to like cool down or sum- and reader gets hurt bad :3

idk man it’s cringy and wattpad coded but I like that shit 😞 feel free to decline! ((If rq is 2 weird maybe do a vulnerable moments with him))

Ty for reading ! (I dunno how to reqs I’m sorry💀)

୨୧⋆ ˚ — selfish

warnings!! angst, suna being a selfish asshole, open-ended 'cause it still ended in an unresolved argument, not proofread 😞

note! HI ANON!! this is actually my very first time taking such a request. tbh with you, i've never done that much angst and this is actually the heaviest angst i've done by far, but i hope this can satisfy your wants 😭🙏

FEEDBACKS ARE HIGHLY APPRECIATED!

“where are you? i can’t find you in the stadium.” 

you don’t want to reply to his message. heck, you don’t even want to open the notification at all. 

it’s been three hours since the match ended and it’s been an hour since you left the stadium, and he just realized that you left just now? ridiculous. 

you stared blankly at the notification until he sent you another one just three minutes later.

“y/n where are you?” suna sent you another one. “why aren’t you reading my messages?”

you were literally about to space out from staring blankly at his messages when your phone suddenly vibrated. he’s calling you, snapping you back into reality. 

you sighed before declining his call.

“at home,” you replied to his message. “i went home early then i dozed off, sorry,” you added.

he immediately replied with, “ok ig i’ll go home now.”

you’re aware that his reply was dry, but like, that’s all? some ok ig is all he can reply? but at this point, you couldn’t even care less anymore. 

around 45 minutes later, you were lounging on the sofa when you suddenly heard the entrance to your and suna’s shared penthouse open. you already know it’s suna. he’s the only other one who knows the passcode to the penthouse after all. 

“why did you leave so early? did you even finish watching the whole match at all?” that’s the first thing he told you when he went to the lounging area. so is that really how he’ll greet you? it made you laugh dryly.

“not even a hello?”

“i asked you first.” he’s clearly pissed off. 

“why are you mad?” you stood up from the sofa, walking towards him. “i was there and i watched your whole match. i know you lost the match, but you don’t have to put your anger on me.” 

“so why did you leave after the match was over?”

“what do you mean? i literally stayed there for two more hours before i left.” it’s true. you stayed for two more hours and waited for him. and for the whole two hours, you wanted to go and still congratulate him for his performance, but you couldn’t. why? because he got swarmed by his fans, begging to take pictures with him and getting his autograph.

you tried squeezing yourself in. you loudly called for his name through the crowd, but all you saw was him taking a glance at you before returning his focus to taking pictures and signing autographs. 

“you literally looked at me when i called your name after the match, you just didn’t bother walking towards me.” 

“wait, yeah, i did see you earlier. sorry.” suna doesn’t sound sorry at all. “still, you could’ve waited for me.”

“rin, i tried waiting for you. i tried calling for your attention because i still wanted to congratulate you even if you lost, you just didn’t bother because you were too busy taking pictures and signing autographs.”

“me just only taking glances at you and not walking towards you as i was clearly,” he emphasized. “taking pictures and signing autographs is already an act of not bothering?” 

“so their attention matters more than mine?” 

“i did not say that, y/n. don’t make things complicated.” you can feel the tone of his voice getting sharper and sharper.

“then why are you making it sound like their attention matters more than mine? you don’t have to take pictures with everyone. you don’t have to sign every autograph they request. you always do this but you literally don’t have to do everything they want. they’re just your fans, they come and go.”

“wait, are you fucking jealous over the attention i gave them? when we literally live under the same roof?” suna laughed dryly, his words making your blood boil. 

“of course i’m jealous!” you snapped, shouting at him. “we live under the same roof but you’re out almost 24/7!”

“don’t you get it?! i’m a volleyball player, so what do you expect?!” suna snapped back. “are you even aware that you’re being selfish right now?”

“wait, selfish? me?” you scoffed. “can you hear yourself right now, suna?” you pointed at your ear. “so i’m the selfish one when all i did was sacrifice everything just so that i could choose you?” you pointed to his chest. “when i literally left my family, closest friends, and career on a different prefecture just so that i could live with you here in tokyo to support you on your own career? when i literally had to skip work multiple times just so that i could attend all your matches? when all i wanted in return was the unconditional love that you promised me when we were in high school?” 

the suna that you’re facing right now isn’t the suna that you knew back in high school. he changed. he changed after being a part of the volleyball national team. but despite the change, you stayed. 

choosing him over everything caused you some damage. you waited and are still waiting until those damages healed. you know it hurts, waiting for the damage to heal for so long, but you also think that if you manage to get it healed, you can consider it as good damage. so, if you will leave him midway through healing, then all the damage will be just damage. but now you know better than this. you need to stop choosing him, you need to choose you.

all the things that you’ve been wanting to tell him just spilled as if a dam burst broken. you can feel tears now streaming down your face. “so suna, let me ask you again, am i the one who’s being selfish?” 

that was the last thing you told him before picking up your purse and then walking towards the penthouse to leave. 

suna just stood on his spot, silent the whole time. realization immediately kicked in when he heard the entrance to the penthouse shut close. he couldn’t move even though he wanted to. he wanted to chase after you, kneel after you, and beg for your forgiveness but he couldn’t move. he knows he fucked up big time. he knows he’s been fucking up for years. 

𝐒𝐕𝐍𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 | repost, modification, and translation of my works on any platforms are strictly prohibited.

[ghost-recs]

CAN I ASK FOR A SUNA REC? (preferably timeskip)

YES YOU SURE CAN !! i may have gone down a small rabbit hole but most of them are oneshots. hopefully you'll find something that fits your fancy :)

Suna Timeskip Recs

love sick by @idlerin

synopsis: you are the campus "cupid" and give out love advice to the other students on campus as a hobby. but what happens when suna asks you to fake date him as a way to fend off the girls you're encouraging?

smau, college au - fun dynamics between characters and i'm obsessed with seeing where this goes [ongoing...]

bet on stones by @animatedrapture

synopsis: suna lost a bet, but for you he'd do it all over again.

a pure fluff oneshot with your pro-player boyfriend!

once in a lifetime by @moonswolfie

synopsis: this may be your once in a lifetime opportunity to talk with ejp raijin's suna rintaro, who could blame you for indulging in your small celebrity crush?

cute oneshot, flirting, i love this scenario

Lame Jokes by hurtbycanonthoughts [ao3]

synopsis: the same grumpy customer comes in every morning. you swear you'll get him to smile somehow.

oneshot! full of bad puns and fluff

clair de lune by MyAUIsAMess [ao3]

synopsis: it's been years since you've seen suna, since he made his promise. you're not sure if seeing him again was worth it.

angsty oneshot, right person wrong time that put me in my sad hours.

untitled scenario by @emmyrosee

synopsis: suna misses you while away for volleyball...

it's just cute, okay? he deserves it!

cameral roll by @haijmei

synopsis: suna is known for not being super expressive with his emotions. so how can you tell if he loves something? easy! look through his camera roll

short little oneshot of suna going through his camera roll

don't smile at me by @atzuums

synopsis: model suna is a real jerk, a hot one, but a jerk nonetheless. you just had to fall for him anyways.

smau, this is a bit cheesy, started off with a lot of good potential, but felt rushed at the end

it's a match! by shittyshima [ao3]

synopsis: matching on tinder with suna made your day. him messaging you was the cherry on top!

college au; i'm not gonna lie i feel like this is ooc, but the idea is cute!

i'm just gonna leave this one here again tho - you're not the one (ik it's not a timeskip but it's so good)

[loveephia]

suna rintarō being in love with his close friend who's the complete opposite of him.

a girl who's cheerful and oh, so full of love; always willing to give without expecting to receive in return. a smile from you was very much contagious, as it has proven to work on not only the miya twins, but on kita shinsuke, too.

when suna first met you, he thought that you were naïve, and from his astute observations, he turned out to be right.

but the minute he saw your weary eyes and tear-stained cheeks trying to pick up the shattered pieces of your own heart, suna wanted nothing more than to protect you from all of the harm in the world.

he even considered doing something about the boy who pushed you around, but suna knows that you wouldn't want him to meddle in personal affairs, even if it was for your sake.

so he opts to comfort you in his long arms instead.

"i'll never let another boy hurt you ever again." suna vowed a promise as he held your crying figure close.

© lowercase intended | loveephia

[k0dzukeiji]

𝐋𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 - 𝐒𝐮𝐧𝐚 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐨

read pt 2 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

synopsis: you tried to warn him and he didn’t listen. that not only costed him a healthy relationship, but your friendship as well.

genre: angst, friends>nobodies

warnings: cursing, toxic relationship, friend breakups, fighting, suna is an asshole, reader has a crush on suna, regret, made up character is also a bitch, mentions of hell, NOT PROOF READ, PLEASE EXCUSD ANY MISTAKES OR TYPOS (i never proof read), mentions of vomit, probably ooc

wc: 3,220 (sleep deprived me really said 1k+ 💀)

taglist: @hissy-fit18 @ilovejujitsukaisen @misasdeathwish

a/n: I don’t know how I feel about this, kinda sucky but its not horrible considering i wrote it in 2 days without any prep

also imma just complain cause i kept switching to another keyboard while writing this and it was a pain in my ass

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

You and Suna, Rin to you, have been best friends since diapers. The two of you did EVERYTHING together, you even moved with him to Hyogo after he got scouted. You and him were inseparable; Keyword were.

It all started when he met Sato Rei a beautiful girl with an ugly personality. He almost immediately warmed up to her and though you should’ve been happy, you weren’t. It’s not that you were unhappy that he was friends with another girl, never would you be unhappy about that. It’s about this specific girl. Rei was known to be the campus playgirl, but that didn’t bother Suna. You had no idea what Rei’s intentions were so you were tryin x g to stay positive, but you couldn’t ignore that gut feeling that was telling you this wasn’t going to end well.

Over time, Suna and Rei grew closer and he admitted to you that he has a crush on her and pleaded you to help him ask her out. Hesitantly, you agreed but immediately regretted it. I mean who helps set up their best friend with a literal snake? And especially when you’ve had a massive crush on him since the 5th grade.

About 3 months after their meeting, he finally asked her out and to nobodies surprise, she said yes. Despite your aching heart, you were happy that Suna found someone, even if that person wasn’t you. Your mother and Suna’s had always thought that the two of you were going to end up together but now that doesn’t seem like the case.

This all took place about 6 months ago. Ever since the two started dating, Suna didn’t talk to you as often. He didn’t make plans with you, he never came over to your house anymore and he hardly ever talked to anyone except for Rei. You rarely ever got to talk to him except for at volleyball for maybe 10 minutes until Rei would shoot daggers at you through her eyes at come drag him away. No matter where he was, she would be there and no one was allowed to talk to him.

She was also very jealous, whenever you would say hi to Suna you swore you could see the veins in her forehead popping out. You were trying your best to maintain your friendship while still being mindful that you may be making Rei uncomfortable, but no matter how hard you tried she always found something to complain about; this resulted in you and Suna not even greeting each other in the school hallway because apparently you were “making a pass” at him

Eventually, you and the rest of the team grew annoyed with this but you couldn’t say anything, Rei was every where. You couldn’t help but not like her, she lives up to her reputation.

Those 6 months felt like hell to you. You missed your best friend, you missed seeing him everyday, you just missed his presence. You and him were practically attached at the hip, when the two of you moved you had no one else to rely on but each other, so for him to suddenly not be available was really hard on you. However, the holidays were nearing and that meant winter break. Winter break means you and Suna finally get to go back to your home prefecture, which just so happens to be three hours away, meaning Rei can’t go.

Of course when Rei found this out she was extremely unhappy, but there was nothing she could do. Her parents wouldn’t let her go and your families were awaiting yours and Suna’s return. She tried everything to convince her parents to let her go, but they ultimately said no. This lead to her having a conversation with you before break started.

(this took place like 2 weeks ago)

It went a little bit like this:

“What the fuck is wrong with you (L/N)? You really think you can just take my boyfriend away from me? What is your issue?” She snarled at you, her eyes dark and full of jealousy.

“Sato I’m not trying to take him away, we’re not from this prefecture and our families want us home for the holidays” You explained calmly as she rolled her eyes

“Oh as if! Cut the excuse (L/N)! I know what you’re planning and it’s not gonna work.” She accused you. What would you even be planning?

“I’m not planning anything..?” You say, more of a question than a statement and you watch her roll her stupid dumb pretty eyes.

“Just stay away from Rintaro. He wants nothing to do with you.” She said as she turned away, her long brown hair swaying as she walked.

To say you were annoyed would be an understatement. Who was she to say what Suna wants and what he doesn’t? Yeah she’s his girlfriend but they haven’t even known each other for a full year. You were beyond tired of this and you badly just wanted to go home where things would be normal.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

You couldn’t help but smile in relief when you saw Suna walking towards you at the train station without the raging Rei behind him. As he walked towards you, you noticed a small smile growing on his tired features. It wasn’t a noticeable smile, it wasn’t one that just anyone would notice, it was one that you and only you could detect.

On the train ride home, everything finally felt like it went back to normal. The two of you were able to talk freely just like you used to, it felt nice. When the two of you arrived at Suna’s houss, it felt even better. Being around your families reminded you of the time before the two of you moved to Hyogo, everything was good, everyone was happy, up until now.

At dinner Suna’s mother brought up Rei and as Suna began to talk about her you went silent, you weren’t sure what to say. You just knew what not to say, it was something along the lines of:

“Yeah but Auntie did Rin here ever mention that his girlfriend is a complete snake?”

“(Name) honey, is something the matter?” Suna’s mother soon brought you out of your thoughts.

“It’s nothing Auntie — the train ride just left me a bit tired is all.” You laughed a fake laugh which caused Suna to squint his eyes at you. You were hoping no one would notice, but your best friend being the observant man he is, he just had to notice.

“Ah is that so? Well it is a bit late and we’re all done eating. Rintaro can you do us a favor and walk (Name) home?” His mother said in a sweet tone. Your house wasn’t far, just down the street. You didn’t need to be walked home, but you appreciated her caring for you.

“I will, I’ll just use the bathroom first.” He said nonchalantly as he pushed in his chair with his hip and made his way to the bathroom upstairs.

His mother waited a minute until she heard the bathroom door close. She could tell something was off with you. You hardly ever reacted like that, it seemed as if you had a million thoughts rushing through your head.

“Now then tell me dear, what is this Rei girl actually like?” She asks dead serious as she makes eye contact with you.

“What do you mean Auntie..?” You knew exactly what she meant, you just didn’t want to answer out of fear of Rin hearing.

“You know what I mean dear, what do you think of the two of them? Are they right for each other?”

“Honestly? No, I don’t think so. They’re — they’re too complicated and Rei is too… Controlling? I don’t know how to tell Rin though, I’m not sure how he’d react.” You nearly began to rant. You probably would’ve had his mother not calmed you down.

“Relax, it’s okay. I know how you feel about my son, dear. I can tell you like him, if you think this relationship isn’t right for him you should tell him. He’s your best friend, he’ll understand.” She smiled as she squeezed your hands in hers. You couldn’t help but smile back. Suna’s mother always felt like a second mother to you, and you couldn’t help but love her for supporting your feelings for Suna.

“Okay. I’ll talk to him on the way home.” You said as she nodded in satisfaction. If his mother thinks it’ll work, what could go wrong?

“(Name) you ready to go?” Suna said suddenly as he approached the two of you with a tired look on his face, more tired looking than usual. He also took a bit longer than usual… Could it have been Rei? No, that’s not any of your business.

“Yeah let’s go” Hugging his mother goodbye, the two of you made your way out the door and towards your house. The walk was silent for a bit until you decided to finally talk to Suna.

“Hey Rin?” You looked up at him as he looked back at you

“Hm?” He hummed back in response.

“Can I ask you something? About Rei..?” The blocker tensed up at this, why did you want to talk about Rei? You hardly ever talked about her.

“What is it?”

“I just… I don’t know if she’s right for you.” You curse at yourself immediately once you finish your sentence. You knew you shouldn’t have worded it like that but it just came out like word vomit.

“Excuse me?” He sounded offended, rightly so though.

“Shit— I’m sorry Rin I didn’t mean it like that” Your eyes went wide at his tone, you immediately try to apologize but he just shuts it down.

“What is that supposed to mean, (Name)This is my relationship, not yours.”

“I know that I’m just trying to warn you—“

“Warn me about what? Fucking hell (Name! you’re like a toddler, you don’t know when to leave me alone. Can you just butt out of my business for once?”

“Butt out? Rin I’m just trying to help you! I don’t think you’ve noticed, but Rei has been so controlling of you! We miss you, the team misses you, I miss you Rin. I just want my best friend back!”

“Yeah, butt out. I want you to mind your own fucking business. So what if you think Rei is controlling? Whether you like it or not Rei is my girlfriend, she’s my top priority. So I’m sorry if I’m not paying attention to you like I used to but I actually have a life.” Ouch. His words stung like salt on an open wound. He knew how to hit you where it hurt.

“Rin that’s not all I’m trying to say.”

“Oh my god (Name) what part of butt out do you not understand? You’re so fucking annoying. I’m sorry that no one wants you but just cause no one wants you doesn’t mean that you have to come and mess with my relationship! What Rei and I do is none of your concern so I’m sorry if you’re unhappy but you get no say in this.”

“Rin do you hear what I’m saying right now? I’m not saying I should have a say in your relationship, I’m trying to warn you. Please just listen to me, you have no idea what I’ve heard about Rei on campus and—“

“You don’t even know Rei, (Name). You’ve put in no effort into talking to her and now you’re just coming at her for no reason!” He got you at the first part. However he was still partially wrong. You tried talking to her at first, but she turned you down and whenever you’d try she looked as if she was going to murder you so you just stopped trying.

“Oh my god Rin why are you always defending her? She’s not always the victim, y’know what she said to me before we left Hyogo?” He seemed confused so he stayed quiet.

“She told me to stay the fuck away from you cause you want nothing to do with me!” He rolled his eyes at you.

“Oh like hell she did! She wouldn’t do something like that, (Name) you’re just insecure and you’re such a fucking cry baby. Can you just grow up?”

“Grow up? I am growing up, Rin. I’m here trying to be the bigger person and help you but you won’t fucking listen to me!” He only scoffs at you

“I don’t need your help, You’ve never done anything to help me.” That was a lie. He knew it was.

“Shut up Rin. You have no idea what you’re talking about. I have been here since day one, through thick and thin and you’re saying I’ve never helped you? I moved to Hyogo with you so that you wouldn’t be by yourself, I made sure you were healthy and on top of grades, I was always there whenever you needed me.” He knew all of this. He knew how much he owed you but he didn’t want to admit it.

“I didn’t ask you to be there.” He shouldn’t have said that, he knew you were there because you wanted to be, he didn’t have to ask you.

“You didn’t have to! Rin you’re my best friend I would’ve gone through hell and back just to make sure you’re okay! I care about you Rin. All I’m asking of you is for you to listen to what I’m saying. I don’t want to see you hurt.” Your heart was aching and your head was throbbing. This conversation was giving you a migraine.

“Can you shut up? I don’t need you nagging about my relationship when you’ve never even been in one. I get it you care or whatever but I could care less, I said it already but I don’t need your help. Can you just accept the fact that you don’t need to be constantly in my life and you don’t have to be butting around all the time? You say Rei is controlling but do you see yourself? This is why I chose to be with Rei instead of you, she doesn’t always bombard and nag me, she actually— “ This was your breaking point. You could bear to hear him belittle you and compare you to someone you’re nothing alike. He doesn’t even know why he was still talking, its like he can’t control his own mouth.

“You know what? I’m done. I’m not doing this anymore, it’s a lost cause because clearly you don’t want to hear me out! I don’t need you comparing me to her. Just leave me alone Suna.” That’s all you said as you walked away from him. He didn’t think you were being serious when you said that last sentence, he didn’t think this argument was enough to end your friendship, but clearly he had no idea about the impact of his words.

When he returned back to his house, he acted as if everything were normal. The two of you have argued before and he was sure it would go back to normal. He had no idea how wrong he was.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

School wasn’t the same since.

Some things were the same though, he was still with Rei, you were still a manager. But the main difference, is that you two aren’t friends anymore. He didn’t think you were being serious. He thought that you two would just take a break and then you’d go back to normal, but clearly that wasn’t going to happen. It seemed like you truly had no intent of speaking to him again.

In fact, it’s been 2 months since the two of you last spoke and his relationship was going down hill rapidly. Everyone on campus could tell something was up but no one dared to ask. All they knew is that you and Suna were no longer friends, and it ached his heart knowing that it’s his fault.

He tried texted you, but you never answered simply just leaving him on read.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

rin: I’m sorry (12/24/12) 11:30 pm

rin: Please pick up(12/25/12) 10:30 am

rin: (Name)?(12/25/12) 10:32 am

rin: Are you okay? (12/25/12) 10:35 am

rin: I know I fucked up just please answer your phone (12/25/12) 10:39 am

rin: (Name)‼️‼️ (12/25/12) 10:42 am

rin: (Name) if you dont answer the phone. 10:49 am

rin: Yk what fine I’ll leave you alone (12/25/12) 11:13 am

rin: I miss you, I’m sorry. (1/26/13) 12:47 am

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Suna’s thoughts

“I miss my best friend, but it’s my fault she’s even gone in the first place. I’m sure she hates me, but thats my fault too. I’m sorry (Name)”

Every day he regrets that night. He see’s you in the hallway every day and he can’t help but wish he could just go back in time before he said all of that shit. He feels like a total asshole everyday. He knows for a fact his younger self would have hated him for driving you away. When he sees you, he wants nothing more than you hug you just like he used to. He misses seeing you walking happily around his apartment while you two wait on the food you ordered.

He should’ve listened to you and he knew that. He let his anger get the better of him and he blew up on you.

You warned him and he didn’t listen. He wanted to blame Rei for this, but it wasn’t her fault. It was no one’s fault but his. It’s his fault you don’t want to talk to him anymore and he has no one to blame but himself.

Suna Rintaro is a man of many regrets, but hurting you is his greatest regret.

“I don’t know if she’ll ever want to be friends again. I doubt she does, but I’ll be waiting for her anyway, for as long as it takes.”

Or at least thats what he thinks.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

(Name)s thoughts

“Even though I miss him, I need to heal first. I’m not ready to face him yet, but there is no way in hell I’d ever throw away our friendship. We just need time. I asked him to leave me alone and he’s learning to respect that.”

He thinks you hate him, but the truth is you could never hate him. Even if you tried you don’t think you’d ever be able to hate him. Yes he hurt you, but before he hurt you he protected you with all he had. When the two of you moved to Hyogo, he would walk you to school every morning and night just to make sure you were safe. You still see his messages, you haven’t blocked him, and yes it seems cruel but you just need time to heal. You told him not to talk to you again, but you know you’ll come back. Not any time soon, but when the time is right. It won’t be the same as it used to be, but you’d never leave him alone.

You’re upset he didn’t listen to you, but it taught him a lesson. Plus it’s only your second year of high school, high school isn’t forever. One fight isn’t enough to end your 16 years of friendship, in a few years it’ll only be an old wound that healed and turned into a scar.

You miss him just as much as he misses you, but you are waiting patiently for the right time for you to come back but for now, the two of you need time apart to heal.

“He has nothing to worry about, he’s my best friend and no one will ever take that place from him”

Fin~

•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•

a/n: thinking about making a part 2 with a happy ending

[shiraishi-mai]

[7:40pm]

“Where is he?” You asked softly. Your eyes roamed across the volleyball members occupying the hallway before looking back at the boy beside you. 

Osamu looked at you with a grim look and stuck his thumb behind him. “Sitting in the locker room. There shouldn’t be anybody else in there right now.” 

You nodded. “Thanks ‘Samu.” 

He dipped his chin in response before continuing to pack his duffle bag. There was a somber tone amongst the team as they began to slowly make their way out of the building. 

You headed to the locker room, slightly dragging your feet along the way. Once you were faced with the pale grey door, you found yourself hesitating to open it and laid your hand flat on its surface. Sighing, you turned around and leaned your back against it. What were you doing here? 

“Sooo what’s going on there?” Your friend had asked a few weeks ago while grinning like a Cheshire cat. You both had just watched a yellow-haired boy cheerfully wave at you through the classroom window before heading to his own class. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you opted to stare straight ahead at the board.

“Oh c’mon. You and Miya have been acting all buddy-buddy recently.”

“Yep because we’re buddies.” You began to doodle on the corner of your notebook. 

Your friend snorted.  “When did that happen?”

You couldn’t help but smile softly at the memory of meeting Atsumu for the first time. Your friend was right - Atsumu and you used to have an awful relationship. 

You had started Inarizaki a bit later than everyone else. Your family had decided to move into the area after your father had a job transfer, and so you found yourself the awkward new student a few months after the school year had begun. Volleyball tryouts had already passed, but the coach had seen you play at your previous middle school and graciously accepted you after giving you a chance to play a practice game with the rest of the team. The girls were amazing and you found yourself right at home with them - something you were thankful for since you weren’t looking forward to making friends from scratch. 

You knew the boy’s volleyball team at Inarizaki was excellent, therefore when the captain needed someone to accompany her to run an errand to the other gym, you eagerly volunteered. You hadn’t had a chance to see them in action and were dying to get a peek at their practice to see just how good they were. 

An orange court identical to the one the girls practised in greeted your eyes as you both stepped in the building and your captain turned to you upon entering the gym. 

“Just wait here while I go talk to their coach!”

You nodded and curiously began to watch the practice. The familiar sounds of sneakers squeaking and balls hitting the floor put you at ease and a starstruck expression crossed your face as you saw a tall, darker-skinned boy spike.

“Oi.”

Another boy with a leaner figure and slanted eyes spiked with a weird twist to his form and your eyes widened. That was unusual. Impressive.

“Oi.” 

I KNOW someone is NOT trying to get my attention by saying ‘Oi’. Who is this uncouth- 

You turned to see a boy with yellow hair and an unamused expression on his face. 

“Yes?” you said sweetly.

“Cheerleading tryouts aren’t in this gym,” he said shortly. 

The fuck? 

Okay, technically you and your captain were wearing ponytail holders with ribbons in Inarizaki colours and you both hadn’t changed out of your regular PE tracksuit, so you could maybe see where he might have gotten that. 

“Excuse me?”

“This is a volleyball court.” He spoke in a tone that implied that you were a bit slow.  

No shit Sherlock. “I’m not looking for tryouts.” 

He groaned in exasperation and put his hands on his hips. “Well if you’re looking to watch our practice, we can’t have an audience today. We’re going over some serious stuff and don’t need any distractions.” He turned and left you with your hand half raised and mouth open before you could respond.

“These pigs just think they can crash practice when they don’t even care about volleyball…” 

Pigs.

Pigs?? 

Who the fuck does he think he is?? This little- 

Okay, you know what, breathe y/n. Don’t do anything rash. Remember what your therapist said.

You felt a faint tap on your foot and looked down to see a stray volleyball had rolled over to you. 

I really shouldn’t. You thought, picking up the ball and ran a finger along the curves and dips. 

This is a bad idea. You tossed the ball in the air. 

Well, when life gives you lemons. You hopped and felt a satisfying smack as you hit the ball towards the back wall. 

Now, the intention was to hit the area beside the offensive boy and give him a little scare, however you forgot that your hits tended to curve a bit (a problem you were trying to fix).

So you watched, horrified, as the ball flew straight towards the boy.

It was almost like the trajectory itself was in slow motion but sped up as it impacted and there was a dull thud sound as it hit his back.

“OW!”

He turned around, eyes flashing and mouth curled angrily. 

“Oh god I’m so sorry.” 

Is what you meant to say. But you had your pride and also had kind of already committed to going down this path. 

“L/n y/n,” you said, matching his glare. “[insert favourite vball position here]. Nice to meet you.” 

The noises from the gym all halted and the air was still as the other members of the team stared at the scene. 

The boy with the slanted yellow eyes and middle parted hair snorted which prompted the boy beside him to begin laughing as well. You were stunned to see the same face except framed with grey hair. 

There’s another one??

There was a sudden ‘eep’ noise and you felt someone rush over beside you. “Oh my goodness I’m so sorry.”

Your captain grabbed the back of your head and wrenched your head down into a bow. “We’re so sorry. RIGHT?”

You yelped when you paused and she sharply tugged on one ear.

“Yes, my apologies.” You muttered. 

The girl dragged you out of the gym berating you but sighed and ran a hand down her face as you recounted what had happened.

“Honestly I guess I can’t blame you too much. That was Miya Atsumu.”

“Oooh he’s one of the Miya twins.” They were first-years like you but already quite famous around the school.

She nodded. “Osamu is fairly nice but Atsumu is known for being…difficult.” 

You snorted. “Seems like it.”

“He’s a damn good setter though,” she continued.

“Still,” you frowned. “This sport is about teamwork. You can’t be too difficult or else the team can’t function.” 

“Agreed,” she said before narrowing her eyes and looking at you from the side. “Though I’ll make you eat your words if that temper of yours makes an appearance on our team.” 

You shuddered before walking quickly ahead of her back to the girls’ gym. 

—-------------------------------------------------------

After that, your interactions with Atsumu Miya didn’t get much better. 

It didn’t help that he was in the class next door to yours. Everytime you met in the halls (which happened a good amount of times during the week) snide remarks were exchanged. 

“Oh look, it's the school’s kpop star,” you said drily when you exited the classroom for lunch and found yourself, yet again, in front of him. “Raaah raah.” 

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Don’t you expect to hear crowd noises everywhere you go? You’re always strutting around like you’re the shit and eating up the attention people give you. Well until they start messing with your serves,” you smirked. “It’s too bad you aren’t good enough to not be so easily distracted.” 

He looked at his twin beside him. “I told you, squealing pigs.” 

“At least I don’t go around grunting like a giant ape.”

The lanky boy whose name you learned was Suna tried to hide a snicker behind his hand.

“Well I almost didn't give someone a CONCUSSION.”

“Oh please,” you turned away from him and waved your hand in a shooing motion. “Your head is too thick to get a concussion.” 

“Tch more like your spike is too weak for it.”

“What did you say??” You whipped back around only for a teammate of yours to magically materialise and drag you away by the collar. News of your ostensible assault to Atsumu had spread amongst both teams and your incredible dislike for him was well-known by now. 

“I fucking dare you to show up to practice Miya and see for yourself it that’s true!”

“Hai hai that’s enough,” your teammate said tiredly and you crossed your arms, fuming, as you saw him sniggering before turning the corner. 

The students in your hallway quickly became accustomed to your face-offs, opting to give you two a wide berth whenever they occurred. Suna often stopped by to film and told you he was going to make a compilation of the best 10 fights at the end of the year. 

“He’s not that bad you know,” Osamu said, sipping on his drink. Your eyes rolled up to him from where you were lying down on the bench beside him. 

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” 

“He’s…passionate. With a one-track mind. I think it’s good you’re so direct to him. It’s the only way that really gets through to his stupid brain anyway.”

You laughed. “How are you guys so different?” Osamu was in your class and at first you had been wary of him - he did share Atsumu’s genes after all - but were relieved to find out he was actually super chill. 

“I didn’t wanna end up like him.” He said simply and you chuckled again before frowning. 

“It’s a shame…he plays beautifully though,” you said under your breath.

You didn’t notice Osamu side-eye you quickly with an eyebrow raised.

Inarizaki had one of their games recently and you were honestly a bit curious to see how the evil Miya played and also so you could see if he made any mistake for your own satisfaction. However, you had to admit that Atsumu was talented. He was reckless and got ahead of himself but his sets were perfect. Most of the time at least. They were the type that you knew spikers were itching to hit and you wondered what it’d be like to play with someone like him.

Definitely a shame. 

—-------------------------------------------------

Of all things, the school’s annual fall event was the reason your relationship with Atsumu improved. 

Your friend’s class was putting on a production and she asked you to help paint some of the set pieces as a few people had canceled on her last minute. 

“y/nnnnn pleasseee” your friend whined. 

“I spend 90% of my life at school and the one free Saturday I have YOU WANT ME TO BE AT SCHOOL?” She grinned, enthusiastically nodding.

“You got some nerve-”

“It’s not my fault my classmates are lazy…I always get stuck doing busy work” she interrupted, shooting you her best puppy eyes. You bit your tongue as you wanted to retort that it was her fault for being the class’s student rep. 

You sighed. “Okay fine.” 

She squealed and clapped her hands. “Perfect, meet me at 1pm.”

A pit had formed in your stomach that you couldn’t explain as you opened the door to the auditorium. When your friend spotted you, she brightened and grabbed you by the arm, dragging you behind the stage. Large set pieces that outlined what you think was a castle and some trees were set-up but you barely noticed as your eyes found an offensive figure. 

Miya Atsumu turned his head to the side, flashing you his signature smile and opened his mouth. 

“Nope,” you said and turned on your heel and headed back towards the front. Your friend quickly ran and stood in front of you.

“What is Miya doing here??” 

“Apparently he and Osamu crashed into the principal while they were racing to the cafeteria and knocked him down so he’s forcing him to help out as punishment.

“Why is he the only one in there? Where’s Osamu??”

“Technically Atsumu is the one who knocked the teacher over. Osamu managed to skirt away in time so he wasn’t seen.” 

You groaned. “I can’t do this. Honestly, we might end up ruining your scenery fighting or something.”

She glared at you. “You wouldn’t dare.” 

You winced as she stared at you for a moment with a pensive expression on her face.

“What?”

“Maybe you should hang out with him. Both of you play volleyball…just talk about that.” 

“I don’t want to talk to him period.”

She snorted and said, “Just be open-minded. And don’t kill each other. Or destroy my set pieces.” She quickly added at the end.

“No promises.” 

You walked back and went straight to the paint rollers, blatantly ignoring the heavy gaze trained on you. Picking it up, you went to the end of the half-painted castle furthest away from him and began to roll. 

Atsumu raised an eyebrow. “That side is done.” 

You didn’t say anything and scooted a little to where it was unpainted.

“I don’t bite.”

“It wouldn’t surprise me if you did.” 

“Shouldn’t I be more afraid of you?”

You glared at him and instead began to talk to one of the other people painting beside you. There were only three others and they had been fairly quiet at the hostile energy radiating between you two. 

However, Atsumu remained eerily quiet as he worked on his set piece and as you focused on yours, you found that time passed fairly quickly. You were finishing up and went to get another paint bucket when you blanched upon seeing Atsumu’s work. 

“Oh my god please don’t tell me this is all you’ve accomplished.” 

“This is harder than it looks!” He said defensively and you bit back a laugh. When he had whipped around to retort, he revealed that he had paint smudged on one of his cheeks as well as a bit of splatter on his shirt. 

“It’s straight lines Miya. I know you act like an ape but I didn’t expect you to have a monkey brain too.” 

He opened his mouth with an indignant face but stopped when you stood beside him. 

“The lines go this way - see then it looks like bricks.” You brushed lightly on the cardboard. 

Atsumu looked at you, eyes wandering around your facial features. He’d never seen you up this close before and without a scrunched up expression on it. Your elbows were almost touching and he frowned. 

“She’s pretty ya know.” Osamu grinned as if he knew a secret. It pissed Atsumu to see that expression on his face.

“So what? She’s mean and bitchy.”

“Oh c’mon. It’s partly your fault she acts that way too. She can be sweet sometimes.” 

“L/n. Sweet. Right.” 

“What, you don’t want my help?” You felt your hackles raise at his frown. 

He shook his head. Your eyes were lit with a bright fire - not necessarily one that was hostile but rather with a lively quality in them - and the stage lights cast shadows across the planes of your face in a way that made you look both glowing and vibrant. 

Pretty. 

His eyes widened slightly and he shook his head a bit to get out of his daze. He must be crazy. The fumes from the paint had probably made him a bit high and out of his mind. Right?

—---------------------------------------------------

After that, your relationship with Atsumu seemed to improve. Your face-offs slowly became more light-hearted and you both began to chat about volleyball, schoolwork, how Osamu and Suna bully him and on and on. He was surprisingly funny and by that, he was easy to tease and rile up. The two of you still fought but it was more so bickering over whether horror movies were better than action movies rather than actual malice. 

He’d come to watch a few of your practices and even began going to games if he’d finish his first. You’d find him, arms leaning against the railings of the second-floor seats and a shit-eating grin gracing his lips. You groaned internally when you saw the flash of blonde in the corner of your eye but refused to take your eyes off the service. 

There was a yell from the stands. “In!”

You froze momentarily watching the ball hit just outside the line.

“Out!” The referee called. 

“ATSUMU MIYA.” 

You whipped your head to the offensive boy and mouthed an aggressive “GET OUT.” 

All you got in response were mini finger hearts.

Mentally facepalming, you turned your attention back to the game and grumbled about him being lucky that this was just a practice match. You’d definitely get back at him on the walk home later.

Yes, indeed, Atsumu had begun to walk you home. He’d wave Osamu off and claim that he needed to walk off his post-practice high and it was getting darker quickly now anyway and he couldn’t make fun of you if you died on the way home. Most of the time, you guys continued the bickering from the day and joked about stupid things, and sometimes, when practice ran late deep into the night, the two of you would just walk side-by-side in comfortable silence. 

And honestly, being friends with Atsumu Miya was nice. 

—--------------------------------------------------

Unfortunately, your heart betrayed you and you could pinpoint the moment it did. 

You were watching the boys play a match and Osamu had gone in for a spike only to change it into a set straight to Aran. Atsumu looked stunned momentarily before he let out a boisterous laugh. The sound was just like a child’s - a refreshing sound full of joy and pure amusement - and you could practically feel his adrenaline amp up another notch. 

Aran scored the point (ofc) and the team gave each other excited high fives before the buzzer rang, signalling the other team calling a time out. You watched him chatter away upon reaching the sidelines and Aran gave him a slap on the back in annoyance while Suna shook his head. You chuckled at their antics but your smile slowly faded as your eyes found the blonde setter again. 

The slight chill from the stadium’s A/C, 

the feel of your hand gripping the end of a yellow cone,

the excited chatter of your classmates beside you, 

the itch at the end of your fingertips to hold that blue and yellow sphere.

You felt your heart beat painfully when you heard Atsumu’s laugh again. 

If you learned anything about Atsumu, it was that he was passionate and wore emotions on his sleeve. Life was simple for him - he said what he was thinking and unashamedly acted the way he felt. When he was elated, his joy was infectious and his face would shine excitedly about some new cool thing he pulled off. He was blunt, but honest and you felt a sense of trust in him because of it. 

And he had his kind moments. 

Once, he found you sitting on the lowest bleacher in an empty gym after a match when your team had lost a crucial game to qualify for the quarterfinals. 

Your eyes blankly stared at the ground as you absentmindedly spun a volleyball in your hands. 

“You guys put up a good fight.”

You snorted in response. “I could’ve done more.” 

“The team worked hard - you worked hard all year. Just get better and kick ass in the fall.” 

“Yeah I tried my best and all it got me was there. I made so many mistakes.” You shook your head. “I should have hustled after more balls…I missed the timing on a few blocks…geez,” you inhaled sharply and leaned back on your hands. “I feel so incompetent. What have I been doing this entire time?” 

“Hey I didn’t stay after all those sessions just for you to complain they didn’t help.” 

You wrinkled your forehead. “Sorry, that’s fair.” Looking up, you gazed into his warm brown eyes, you smiled softly. “Thank you for helping me.” 

He stared at you hard for a moment before turning his head away. “This just means I’m forcing you to train harder next year.” 

You groaned. “For fucks sake.” 

“But really,” he continued. “You aren’t incompetent. You’re like - you’re good.” He said a bit lamely before hesitantly continuing. “You’re good at volleyball, get good grades and get along with people easily. You’re better than most of these scrubs by far.” 

“And I’m pretty.” You swept your hair over your shoulder jokingly. 

There was a pause. “And you’re pretty.” 

“Not to gas you up or anything,” he quickly added. 

You giggled, ignoring the sudden increased palpitation in your chest before responding, “Aw since when is Atsumu Miya a sweetie.”

“Shut up, I take it back.” He stood up and plucked the ball from your hands. “C’mon you need to practice serving.” 

You narrowed your eyes. “My shoulder hurts.”

“Yeah and your serves sucked so let’s go.” 

You were pulled back into the game when the crowd surrounding you stood up, roaring in delight after Suna whipped a point in. Atsumu punched the air, roaring with them and you felt your chest squeeze painfully.

Oh god. 

—--------------------------------------------------

Just as you came to terms with how you felt, things soured with the blonde Miya. 

Atsumu was passionate and wore his heart on his sleeve. This meant that when he was upset, he was upset. Essentially he turned into a stubborn child. 

You were hesitating to open the door because you hadn’t talked to Atsumu in weeks. You were just as stubborn as him and maintained it wasn’t your fault. Both your heads would turn the other way and there was no more bickering - just an icy silence. 

And it all started with a stupid bet.

Atsumu had been teasing you for weeks about how someone seemed to daydream more during class recently and it seemed to result in him somehow getting a higher grade than you on a quiz. In response, you shot back that you’d beat him at midterms.

“Okay bet,” he said easily. 

“And if I win,” he crossed his arms and tilted his head with a smirk. “You have to wear the Inarizaki cheerleader uniform AND yell ‘GO ATSUMU’ during our game.”

You looked at him unamused. “I thought you didn’t like people distracting you.”

“During my serves. Do NOT do it during my serve,” his face darkened. 

“Okay okay moody. But if I win,” an evil look crossed your face. “You have to do the same thing.”

Suna’s eyes widened. “I would literally pay money to see that.” 

Atsumu’s eyebrows raised. “You want me to yell ‘GO ATSUMU’?”

You blinked at him in response. “This will be so easy.”

“The pom poms would look so small,” mumbled Suna quietly as Atsumu yelped indignantly.

Your eyelids pressed shut.

I’m so done with the boy’s volleyball team at this school.” 

However, what you didn’t know was that Atsumu, though lacking in other areas, was fairly good at math when he tried. This, and the lack of sleep you claimed to have, resulted in him scoring a lousy 2 points above you. 

Hence you stood in a uniform, pom–poms in hand and a bow in your hair at the game that would qualify Inarizaki for the fall tournament. 

“Suna, please tell me you got this on camera.”

The tall boy waved his phone up. “Oh yeah, with many different angles of her scrunched up angry face. You know-,” He leaned down, hands placed in his pockets, to your eye level. “You’d be prettier if you smiled.” 

Your eyes narrowed into slits. “Suna Rintaro you did not just say that. It’s so offensive and plays into traditional gender roles and on behalf of all girls I should-”

“Ap-buh-uh,” his slanted eyes turned upward into crescent moons as he straightened with an easy smile. “Just a joke, princess. You genuinely look good.” 

You huffed in annoyance. “I look good in anything.”

You waited for a comment from the annoying setter beside Suna but just found him blinking at you. 

“What are you doing?”

“Enjoying the moment,” he said with an oh so innocent smile. 

“Creep.”

“Hey I’m not the one who stinks at math.” He threw his hands up in defence. 

“TWO POINTS MIYA,” you moved to smack the back of his head and he dodged easily before speed walking down the hall.

“Oh what’s that I think we have to go warm-up,” he exclaimed loudly before smirking. “Don’t forget to cheer me on.”

“UGH.” You sighed in defeat.

“So when are you confessing your undying love for him?”

You squawked at Suna in protest. “I do not - I- it’s Atsumu - he -”

“I got it, breathe y/n,” he ruffled your hair and gave you a peace sign in farewell before walking off after Atsumu.

“Cheer for your guy loudly Ms. Cheerleader.” 

You huffed and you felt a hand slip into yours. Your head spun before you relaxed, recognising one of the regular cheerleaders behind you. She had been kind enough to lend you her spare uniform and teach you some of the cheers. 

“Y/n we have to get to our seats!” 

“Yay,” you said. Your voice fell flat despite trying to sound enthusiastic. 

She laughed and began to tug you into the gym. “Aw c’mon, you look gorgeous. Your boyfriend must be pumped to have you cheer for him!”

“He isn’t my boyfriend.”

“Hmm sure,” she said and made a knowing face at you. 

“He isn’t!” 

“Oh look, they're warming up. Let’s go to our seats before they start.”

And so you let yourself chant along with the girls beside you, throwing up your pom poms a little late but trying your best nonetheless. Atsumu was on fire as usual, syncing perfectly with Suna and Aran. Osamu made a few service errors, but you knew that he had been a bit ill the past few days. Some of your friends from the volleyball team even joined you and all of you screamed your support from the stands.

Finally the match came to an end and naturally Inarizaki won. You were so proud of the team and as they went around to high-five the other team your friend turned to you. 

“y/n, we’re going to the mall to hang out after. Wanna join us?” 

You nodded absent-mindedly, your gaze fixed upon the team below. “I think I can join you later. I want to say hi to the boys before I go.” 

She giggled. “Of course, gotta see Atsumu before you go.”

“Hey! I want to see Osamu and Suna too!” 

She simply laughed. “You’re practically bouncing in your seat. Hurry up and go say bye, we can wait for you outside.”

You nodded in response and took off towards the locker room. Normally, the guys would have a brief talk before changing and Atsumu would be standing outside, a smile on his face and with a slight wave of his hand. You’d thought about changing first to spare yourself from his teasing but honestly, you secretly thought you looked kinda cute in the uniform and wanted him to see you in it again. 

A sudden hand clamped around your wrist before you could make it down the corridor and you turned your head in confusion, locking eyes with a stranger. You recognised him as one of the players on the opposing team.

“What the hell are you doing?” You nearly squawked. 

“I couldn’t help but notice you in the stands today and was wondering why our side didn’t have any supporters as gorgeous as you,” he said with a wink.

“Thanks for the compliment but please don’t touch me.” 

“I saw you with the team before the game too. You’re a popular girl~” 

“So what?” Trying to calm your rising panic and you attempted to rip your arm away from him but his grip was too strong. 

“What’s wrong? You seem to be already whoring yourself out to them so what’s the problem with one more.”

“Fuck you,” you spit and thrashed against him. You reached your other hand up to slap his face but found yourself pinned against the lockers.

Your eyes widened as he leaned his face toward you with a fake smile plastered on your face. The feeling of being so helpless made your blood run cold and you froze, unable to understand what was actually going on. You closed your eyes, bracing yourself to headbutt him when you heard a loud crack. Your eyes snapped open and you saw the boy holding his cheek and a fuming Atsumu was standing in front of him. You felt a pair of gentle arms slowly pull you away from the two and you looked up to see Suna had wrapped his arms lightly around you, his gaze flatly looking at the other boy.

“Are you okay?” he murmured. 

You nodded faintly but you were focused on Atsumu’s face. His face - you had never seen any expression even close to that. Fury was radiating from him as he roughly shoved the boy against the locker and raised his arm again.

You wrenched yourself free from Suna’s grip and ran to stand by Atsumu.

“That’s enough Atsumu!” You gripped the arm that he had balled into a fist. “I’m okay.”

“Miya look at me!” you said when he didn’t reply. “Please!”

He finally dragged his eyes away from the boy and you shivered as he focused his glare on you.

“It’s fine,” you repeated softly and he thankfully put his arm down.

“He isn’t worth you getting kicked off the team,” you continued firmly and Atsumu finally let go of the boy whose face had gone white as Osamu showed up. The trio stood angrily in front of him and you realised in that moment they were quite intimidatingly big. 

“Don’t show your face in front of us again or I’ll beat the shit out of you,” Atsumu spit.

“C’mon Atsumu,” Osamu pushed his twin away and roughly pushed him in the direction opposite of the player. 

“Don’t touch me,” he said growling. 

“Atsumu,” you began cautiously as you trailed after him outside the exit doors. “Atsumu is your hand okay?” 

“Just what the fuck were you doing?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Why were you just standing there? Why the hell were you not fighting back?”

“I was fighting back!” you said, eyes flashing in anger. “I just froze up for a second! Heaven forbid I was fucking scared.” 

He shook his head as if your words were bouncing off of him. “How stupid are you? You’re always doing this - not taking care of yourself and acting all airheaded and zoning out. It’s a goddamn chore to watch out for you!”

“Nobody asked you to watch out for me,” your voice increased to match his. 

“Maybe if you stopped daydreaming like an idiot you’d start playing like an actual decent player instead of just sleeping on the court. Hell maybe your team would be able to stop being shit enough to fucking qualify for nationals for once.” 

“Dude that’s enough,” Osamu looked at him incredulously. 

You took a step back. Atsumu knew better than anyone else how hard on yourself you are, especially about volleyball. You had been overstressed recently as your grades were suffering because you kept staying so late to keep practising and you felt like you were drowning trying to balance everything. 

Your arms came up to wrap themselves around you protectively. 

The anger drained out of his face almost comically fast. “Y/n,” he said, a hint of fear on his face. 

You started to back away and shrugged nonchalantly. 

“No no, you know what you’re right,” you hated how your voice came out shakily. “It’s my fault that someone harassed ME, it’s MY fault our team keeps losing, and it’s MY damn fault that I’m not strong enough to have it together all the time.” 

“Y/n that’s not what I mea-.”

“No, that's exactly what you were saying,” you said, cutting him off. “Fuck you Atsumu.” Tears pricked at your eyes and you blinked them away, refusing to let him see you cry. 

“Y/n? Is everything okay?” 

The group of you all shifted to see your friends cautiously looking at you. “We heard yelling and you never came out so we were worried.”

“Yep,” you said, attempting to sound cheerful. “Everything’s good. Let’s go, I’m finished here.” 

“y/n,” Atsumu said with a hint of desperation in his voice. 

“I’ll see you guys around.” You couldn’t bring yourself to look at any of the boys and simply sped off towards your friends. 

“That was a low blow,” Osamu shook his head.

Atsumu stared after your retreating figure before groaning and banged his fist against the locker. “I’m so fucked.” 

—------------------------------

And that’s the last time you really talked to Atsumu. He made multiple attempts to talk to you in school but always found you surrounded by your friends. They looked at him reproachfully and you were grateful to have such great people supporting you. He tried to confront you a couple of times before and after practice but your captain always made sure to kick him out of the gym and after you would practically sprint home before the boys’ had finished their practice. 

“He’s pretty hostile nowadays,” Osamu sighed from beside you. He’d found you hiding on the rooftop during lunch one day.

“What a surprise.”

“He’s beating himself up for it for sure though.” 

“Miya, are you defending your brother for once,” you tried to joke. 

“I dunno,” he leaned against his arms behind him. “You know how he gets. He’s an ass for sure but he was so worried that day. I’m not sure I blame him entirely though. It’d be infuriating to see anyone in that position. Let alone the girl he -” he paused. “Let alone our friend.” 

There was a silence long enough you felt Osamu glancing at you repeatedly. 

You really weren’t upset with Atsumu. At first, you were admittedly a bit scared of him - you’d never seen that side of him before. BUt you realised that it was probable that the anger was never directed at you. He defended you without a second thought and likely risked a suspension. Atsumu had supported you these past few months and had been a good, albeit kind of annoying, friend. He had his moments - enough so that you had fallen for him. Was it fair that you cut him out of your life?

“I miss him.” you admitted and tucked your knees against your chest. “I don’t really know how to talk to him though. I just keep hearing his words and I’m scared, like what if he loses his temper and says something hurtful again.” 

Osamu nodded. “I can’t promise ‘Tsumu won’t get mad again or say something hurtful and you definitely shouldn’t have to deal with it or make excuses for him. But he cares for you a lot and he doesn’t know how to be concerned since he’s emotionally stupid.” 

“Also,” he finally added. “Ma beat him with a spoon when she found out what happened so the likelihood of him doing it again seems very low.”

You giggled. “Aw Mama Miya putting the fear of god in her boys.”

“Mama Miya is very scary.” Osamu made a face. “She’s probably the only person Atsumu will listen to.” 

Your giggles rang out across the rooftop and Osamu huffed in amusement. As the sounds faded, your eyebrows drew together. You just needed time. You’d get over his words - they were empty after all - but until you could just see him for the boy you liked again, it’d be better to take a break from seeing him. 

—----------------------------------------------------------

A few months passed and Atsumu largely left you alone after a while. You could still feel his eyes on you if he passed by your classroom and you gave quick nods in his direction when you waved at Osamu and Suna. 

And then suddenly, here you found yourself after a game, knowing that he was probably in a shitty mood and asking yourself if you were willing to have him lash out at you again. The men’s volleyball team had gone to nationals and lost at the quarterfinals. You had given him a quick good luck after you stopped by to check on Osamu and Suna before the game but had screamed your lungs out cheering him on during the matches. You were shocked and your heart dropped when they lost after fighting so hard to break the tie. 

You knew he was taking it hard and would be blaming himself for everything.

How is he? You’d texted Osamu.

Not good. We’re leaving him alone.

Yikes is he being hard on you guys?

Nah tbh he’s p down and not saying much. 

The corners of your lips turned downward as you stared at the text. Before you knew it, your feet had led you to the team where they had directed you here.

You took a deep breath and opened the door praying Atsumu was still in there. He was your friend, the guy you had fallen for, and a source of comfort for you when you were having a tough time. It didn’t even matter if he had harsh words - you wanted to be there for him. 

The tall blonde was sitting on the bench, his arms bracing his back, and a towel covering his face. 

“‘Tsumu.” 

No response.

“‘Tsumu.” You called again, standing in front of him. 

“Not a good time, princess.” 

You reached a shaky hand out to place on his shoulder. 

You heard him inhale and a warm hand lifted to cover yours. The other came up to place itself on your hip and his head lolled forward onto your stomach. Your unoccupied hand gently began to rub small circles on his back. 

It oddly felt relaxing in that position and you didn’t feel anxious. It reminded you of those quiet walks home where there was a muted comfort between the two of you. 

“I’m not going to tell you ‘it's just one of those days’ and anybody gets them. While it’s true, you aren’t ‘anybody’. The standard for you is high - you set it yourself after all. But you always pull through.” You gave a little laugh. “You’re a great guy. That’s why all the people in your life stick with you no matter how callous and insensitive you can get.” You rolled back the towel so you could see his face. 

“You too?” His eyes peered intensely into yours. 

“Yep. Me too.” 

“M’sorry,” he said in a low voice. “Please don’t be mad anymore.”

“I’m not,” you said, your face softening but then frowned. “But I’m not sure if I forgive you yet.”

“I’ll take whatever I can get.” He half-heartedly gave you a crooked smile. 

“Dummy,” you shook your head, “I missed you.” 

He laughed, getting up and pulling you into a hug. The two of you stood, smiling idiotically at each other. 

“Is this a bad time to mention that Suna says you have a crush on me.”

“What???” 

You tried to untangle yourself from him but he merely squeezed you tightly in response.

“Take all the time you need. Just let me know when it’s okay to ask you out properly, alright?”

You groaned and buried your face into his chest. 

“Okay? Hello y/n are you there? y/n?”

“Fine, shut up, I'll let you know.” 

Fin.

[benkeibear]

⋆꙳✧༄ Breaking up with them

❖ Characters: various Haikyuu characters

❖ Reader: genderneutral

❖ WARNINGS: breakups, heartbreak, mentions of cheating with some

❖ A/n: reposting my old Haikyuu works onto here 🫶

They were such a sweetheart to you, giving you more attention and drowning you in their love and presents - was that the guilt? You saw the texts with numerous other people and you knew they were cheating on you, the fresh hickey on their neck before your date was the last straw. You ended up making a scene in the restaurant but their lies pushed you over the edge.

„And don't you dare say you ever loved me or even tell me that you cared, 'cause you knew what you were doing and you know just what you've done. How dare you say you miss me with your spit still on their tongue.“

➸ Yu Nishinoya, Keishin Ukai, Saeko Tanaka, Tetsuro Kuroo, Lev Haiba, Alisa Haiba, Kanji Koganegawa,Yuji Terushima, Rintaro Suna

They were your everything, promising you forever when they knew you were just something to pass their time with. It hurt watching your future crumble in front of you after they told you that they want to break up. You did the only thing you could do and begged them to stay, letting the tears fall as you told them about how you thought you two will grow old together but that was never their intention in the first place.

„So take from me what you want, what you need. Take from me whatever you want, whatever you need - but lover, please stay with me.“

➸ Kiyoko Shizumi, Toru Oikawa, Keiji Akaashi, Eita Semi, Satori Tendou, Kiyoomi Sakusa, Atsumu Miya

Being with them was like a fairytale at first but once the honeymoon phase was over they became such a different person, never taking you on dates anymore and blaming it on their busy schedule. You were never their first choice but you feared being alone, maybe they still love you? But they won’t care if you leave, you’re nothing more than someone to warm their bed when they feel lonely and having you beg for their attention makes them feel needed.

„Cannot spend another night in this home, I close my eyes and take a breath real slow. The consequence is if I leave, I'm alone. But what's the difference when you beg for love?“

➸ Daichi Sawamura, Tobio Kageyama, Kenma Kozume, Hajime Iwaizumi, Wakatoshi Ushijima

They knew you were falling out of love before you even knew it yourself, picking up on the small signals but they stayed around, trying to make you fall for them again - that’s what you promised when you exchanged the rings after all. It was their duty to stay with you and make you love them again but until then they would give you space, missing the way it felt when you were sleeping in the same bed, cuddled up to their chest.

„She doesn't love him anymore but he'll stick it out 'til the end - This he had sworn. Lying awake in bed feeling the spot on my chest where you used to rest your head.“

➸ Shoyo Hinata, Koshi Sugawara, Asahi Azumane, Tadashi Yamaguchi, Takanobu Aone, Kotaro Bokuto

You were never enough, the signal was loud and clear but taking someone else home with them from a party was too much for you. It was clear you would never be what they wanted, no one would be but that’s no longer your issue. You focused more on yourself and when you were someone they desired you left them, letting them know that they would never be what you want to give them a taste of their own medicine.

„I won't be the girl you want me to be, I'm not the honey to sweeten your tea. You're bitter as shit - And I'm not having it. Honey honey my blood turned to honey baby doesn't that sweeten your tea.“

➸ Ryunosuke Tanaka, Kei Tsukishima, Taketora Yamamoto, Kentaro Kyotani, Osamu Miya

Networks: @enchantedforest-network @themovingcastlez

[renardiererin]

THE GREAT WAR a social media au starring rockstar!rintarou suna, and musician!reader

synopsis -> you used to know rintarou. you knew him back before the world did. you used to know him better than you knew yourself. but nothing perfect ever lasts, does it? after awhile he just stopped responding. you tried to block out every headline you saw featuring his name, and focus on your own music career rather than his own. but when one of his bandmates reaches out to you and asks you to open for their upcoming tour, you find yourself stuck traveling all around the world with the man whose inflicted pain inspired most of your first album.

warnings -> potentially some suggestive content (but no explicit smut), probably some flashback moments, probably alcohol content, swearing, etc.

tags -> smau, social media au, rintarou suna, rintarou suna smau, celebrity smau, rockstar suna, exes to ?, little bits of humor i hope, angst, band au

ongoing! [8/22/23] playlist

profiles

akaashi fanclub / dicks with instruments

table of contents / masterlist *titles may be subject to change along the way !

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🌙

act i - the act of acceptance 1. my knuckles were bruised like violets

2. i can't say hello to you and risk another goodbye

3. i know we cut all the ties but you never really listen

4. yes i got your letter, yes i'm doing better

5. seeing you tonight... it's a bad idea, right?

6. love is never logical

7. when facing the things we turn away from

8. i wanna get him back (i want sweet revenge; i want him again)

9. we had matching wounds

10. did you see me on tv?

11. put my name at the top of your list

12. i’ve gotten what i wanted, it’s just not what i imagined

13. none of it matters and none of it ends, you just feel like shit over and over again

14. stop checking your mailbox for confessions of love ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🌙

act ii - the act of love and loss 1. still all over me like a white stained dress i can't wear anymore

2. the small things that you do are what remind me why i fell for you

3. don't just sit in front of me and wait for me to talk

4. flashback: i was only 17 when she first made me feel like a man

5. i don't wanna face the music but i still wanna dance with you

6. i can see you saying: "meet me tonight"

7. you, oh you, it's always been you

8. i'm captivated by you baby like a firework show

9. imma make a move, if you know what i mean

10. jump then fall into you

11. your faithless love's the only hoax i believe in

12. you told me you love me, so why did you go away?

13. i lived in your chess game

14. when i'm nothing new

15. i hate that because of you i can't love you

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🌙 act iii - the act of isolation and irritability 1. i know that i should hate you

2. when did it end? all the enjoyment?

3. falling feels like flying til the bone crush

4. flashback: for awhile you were all mine

5. i hope you're not happy without me

6. i love you but i need another year alone

7. i didn't have it in myself to go with grace

8. flashback: when i'd fight, you used to tell me i was brave

9. come back to me like you could if you'd just say you're sorry

10. i try to ignore it everytime you phone... but i never come close

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🌙

act iv - the act of reconciliation 1. you used a fork once

2. you will love me until you resent me

3. i wish you knew that i'll never forget you as long as i live

4. i miss you too much to be mad anymore

5. can't turn back now i'm haunted

6. if you're out there if you're somewhere if you're moving on

7. you can hear it on the way home

8. this could either break my heart or bring it back to life

9. don't want no other shade of blue but you

10. until the poets run out of rhymes

11. i want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck

12. this love came back to me

13. what if i told you i'm a mastermind?

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🌙

act v - the act of the epilogue 1. outside they're push and shoving / you're in the kitchen humming

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚🌙

a/n: hii okay i haven't written an smau in literal years so im just hoping this doesn't suck and that you can enjoy it :) mwah i love each and every one of you who is reading this note & this smau rn <3 thank you all my loves !

taglist

@kiyoily @akumakitsune21 @qualitygiantshoepsychic @dani-shitting-around @alienvarmint @reverie-starlight @honeythebarbie @bootlegroach @tsukiran @xbl00dy-r0s3x @universal-s1ut @koushisbabie @breakmyheartlater @phoenix-eclipses @ris-krispie @coyloves @2baddies-1porsche @girlkissersco @ilovejujitsukaisen @dontmindtheevie

taglist is open <33 comment here to be added !

[millenialfanfictionaddiction]

Comparing you to their Ex-Girlfriend

Kuroo Tetsuro x Fem! Reader; Suna Rintaro x Fem! Reader (she/her pronouns)

Warnings: Angst to Comfort, the boys are MAJOR DICKS, swearing, alcoholism in Kuroos’, Kenma and Osamu taking their shots 😌, in Suna’s reader falls asleep in her car and it obviously looks weird but she’s just sleeping!

A/N: just me, being self-indulgent again 💅 I’m working on trying to improve my descriptive skills and I figured I’d share my attempts

Kuroo

You and Tetsuro had a great relationship. You had both worked hard to establish trust after your previously failed attempts at love. No relationship was perfect and you definitely had your fair share of troubles, often finding yourself disagreeing with your boyfriend over random things. You both had strong opinions and that was ok, you respected each other and made your relationship work.

Both you and Tetsuro worked long hours at your jobs. He was the sports promoter for Japan’s men’s volleyball and you worked hard in your chosen profession. While you had worked hard to establish a distinction between your home and work life, sometimes your boyfriend found it difficult.

He was always working, always scheming up new ways to bring awareness to the sport. His newest venture had been centered on creating an All Stars match featuring some of Japan’s finest players from all around the world.

You loved Tetsuro with your entire heart but you couldn’t help but feel second in his world at times. You understood how important it was to him and how hard he worked but you still struggled with sharing your boyfriend especially when he was at home.

You had been excited for the weekend, having planned an extravagant date for your and Tetsuro’s two year anniversary. He was coming home at 5 pm to shower and get ready, your reservations were set for 7pm at the cities hottest new restaurant. Your mutual friend, Kenma, had helped hook you up with reservations that were extremely hard to come by.

Everything was planned out perfectly, your outfit, makeup and hair were flawless. You had even splurged on a special lingerie set just for tonight. When 5pm rolled around and Tetsuro hadn’t showed up, you messaged him. You figured his meeting had run a little late but you weren’t too concerned. However, when 5:30 then 6 followed by 6:30 and 7 came you became extremely concerned. You hard called him a dozen times, text him well over that, concerned something serious might have happened.

At 7:45pm, the door finally opened as you shot up from your seat on the couch. You watched as your boyfriend strolled in, tie lose and looking exhausted. He set his briefcase down, before taking his shoes off and looking at you.

“Hey baby, sorry I’m late today was ridiculous! What’s for dinner? I’m starving,” he said, removing his tie and walking into your shared bedroom. You stared at him, completely flabbergasted by how he was acting. Had he really forgotten? This had to be some sick joke.

“Tetsuro,” you said as he hummed a response and walked out into the living room.

“Wow babe you look incredible! Did you have a work meeting today?” He said making his way to the kitchen, “are we ordering our tonight? I hope it’s from that dumpling place we got last week!”

You continued to stare at him, your eyes practically drying out from not blinking, “Tetsuro did you forget we were going out tonight?”

He stopped, turning and sighing, “YN I’m so sorry- my boss came into town and he wanted to see how the developments were coming along, I completely spaced it.”

“And you completely spaced answering your phone or at least letting me know you’d be late? I was worried sick Tetsuro!” You shouted, angry not only because your plans were ruined but because he didn’t even think to let you know about what was going on.

“YN it’s not that big of a deal, we can go out to that place anytime. I promise I’ll make it up to you,” he responded as he came closer, extending his arms as you backed away.

“No Tetsuro, you always promise me and you never deliver. I’ve been flexible, I’ve been accommodating because I know you love your job but it seems that I need to be volleyball shaped in order to get any attention!” You shouted as he narrowed his gaze on you.

“YN don’t you think you’re overreacting? You said it yourself, you how important this is to me,” he said as you stood there, mouth agape.

“Tetsuro, I’m asking for you to be a boyfriend to me, to give me a little time and affection and you think I’m over exaggerating?” You yell. You were so mad and you had every right to be. You stood there, staring at him as he shook his head and began to mumble, “speak up Tetsuro! I know you have something you want to say!”

“I never had this problem when I was with Ally! She knew how important my work was and she never bothered me like you do!” He spat out as you reeled back. How could he bring her up? How could he stoop so low as to bring up the one person who had made you fell inferior.

Ally was Tetsuro’s ex girlfriend and his first love. She had broken up with him right after college when she decided to move abroad. When you met him, he was heartbroken and you slowly worked to help mend what she had wrecked and now he had the audacity to bring her up?

You turned, grabbing your keys and your phone and began walking towards the door. You slipped on your heels, opening the door and leaving Tetsuro standing in the kitchen, absolutely stunned at what he had said. He hadn’t thought about her in so long, why did her memory come flooding back in that moment?

He heard the door close as his breath hitched, realizing you had left. “Fuck- FUCK!” He shouted as he quickly grabbed his keys and ran after you, only to find your car gone. He paced in your parking spot, hand pulling at his hair as the words sank in.

Meanwhile, you drove, mascara running freely down your cheeks as you sobbed and pulled up to an apartment building. Getting out, you walked up the stairs and hit the buzzer.

“Hello?” A voice answered

“K-Kenma, it’s Yn! Can I come up please?!?” You cried as the door buzzed and you ran into the building, Kenma meeting you at his door. You fling yourself into his embrace as he rubbed your back.

“YN are you ok? Is Kuroo ok? What happened?!?” Kenma said, panicked as you pulled away.

“He-he was late coming home and we were suppose to go out for dinner for our anniversary. When he came home, he completely forgot about our plans, saying some bullshit about his boss coming or something,” you blubbered out, “and when I confronted him, he got defensive and then- then he said how Ally would have never bothered him about his work!”

You cried harder as Kenma sighed and hugged you close. Kenma knew all about Ally and how she had broken Kuroo. He knew how much he had loved her and how broken he was when she left. He had spent many late nights up with his friend, talking him down from flying across the world for a girl who didn’t want to be with him or picking his friend up, wasted at the bar and puking because of the pain he felt.

However, all of that changed when Kuroo met you. You made him happy again, you made him smile and laugh more than anyone else ever had. Kenma remembers how the memory of Kuroo’s former love faded, and how it was replaced with the love for you. He knew Kuroo loved you more than life itself, but he couldn’t deny how stupid his friend had been.

“Come on in Yn, let’s talk ok?” Kenma said as you nodded and the door behind you closed.

Kuroo sat in your apartment, eyes red with tears as he cried. How could he do something so awful, say something so unforgivable to you? He thought back to before he met you and how he knew his relationship with Ally was ending. He thought about how she pulled away, saying “I love you” less and less until she finally told him she was leaving and wanted to end the relationship. He was so broken, so pained from the experience of losing his first love.

He drank to numb the pain, sometimes staying late at his office and passing out with a whiskey in his hands. He thought he’d never be able to find someone again. Then, like an Angel, you appeared at his office door. You were so beautiful, so incredibly perfect. It was like God himself had placed you there. You helped him pull himself out from the drinking, from the self-loathing into loving himself again. It was because of you that he had become so successful at work, your support always spurring him on.

He rested his head on his hands, looking at his phone as his background lit up from a notification. The picture was of you two on the night he had confessed his love to you. You were both so happy, your smile filling the screen.

He stood up, grabbing his shoes and slipping them on, his keys and phone going to his pocket. He knew exactly where you went, where you always went, where he would go.

It was late when his car pulled up behind yours, relieved he had been right and that you were safe. He ran up the stairs, ringing the buzzer to his friends apartment.

“Come one come on- hello?!?” He said as the button beeped and he swung the door open. Kenma greeted him in the hallway, standing guard at the door with a scowl on his face.

“You’re an idiot,” he said

“I know-”

“Literally the scum of the earth!” Kenma growled

“I know-”

“I should call Bokuto to come kick your ass!” Kenma whisper shouted

“And I’d deserve it,” Kuroo said as he looked at his friend, “I fucked up- I royally fucked up dude and I hate myself. I hate myself for hurting her and I know I don’t deserve her but she deserves to know how sorry I am.”

“Be quiet when you go inside, she’s sleeping,” Kenma said, moving out of the way as Kuroo walked in. He saw you curled up, asleep on the couch as he quietly approached you. Your face was stained with tears, indicating how badly his words stung. He sat down, next to the couch and watched you as Kenma watched from the corner. He gently grazed you face, moving your hair from it.

“YN, baby,” he said as you gently woke up, your eyes softly meet his teary ones, “baby I fucked to so bad and I’m so sorry. I know I hurt you and I know I don’t deserve you. You’ve made my life worth living and I love you so much. I understand if you don’t want to talk to me and I’ll gladly leave the apartment for a while but please, just know how incredibly sorry I am. I’m not going to make any excuses for what I did or said. I shouldn’t have forgotten about your anniversary and I shouldn’t have said such awful things. I’m a terrible boyfriend and you are so fucking incredible. You’ve supported me in everything and I ruined it all.”

You laid there, your eyes tearing up as you listened to him. As much as his words stung, knowing how awful he felt for saying them and what he had done hurt worse. You sat up, reaching for his cheek as you caressed it.

“Tetsu, I love you more than anything and it really hurt me when you said those things. I really try to let you do your job because I know how important it is but I also miss you. I miss seeing you and spending time with you and I just wanted us to have a nice night,” you said, tears flowing as he looked at you.

“I know baby, and I’m so sorry for everything! I promise, no more working late. If I can’t get it done by 5pm, I’ll leave it for the next day. I want to be there for you YN,” he said as you smiled.

“That’s all I ask Tetsuro.”

Suna

You had known Rintarō a while before you started dating the middle blocker. You had always been attracted to him and when he finally asked you out, you were ecstatic.

Your relationship was good and solid. You had your fair share of ups and downs but what relationship didn’t? You and Rin argued occasionally about minor things, sometimes going to bed angry but then eventually sorting out your issue over the next few days. No fight had ever been serious enough to warrant more than the silent treatment for, at max, a day.

Being the girlfriend of a middle blocker for a professional volleyball team was not only exhausting but also time consuming. You always went to Rin’s games, traveling a few hours if you had to just to show your support and while he never explicitly told you, you knew he appreciated it.

Thankfully, his most recent game was at home against a revival team. Rin did exceptional, per the usual, with EJP beating the opposing team in straight sets. You cheered as the men all lined up to thank their fans, as you quickly hurried to the court.

The usual flood of fan girls overran the team as you tried to make your way to your boyfriend. “Hey YN! Thanks for coming out! Rin’s over there,” Washio, Rin’s fellow middle blocker, said as you hugged him and made your way over to your boyfriend.

You smiled and waved as he nodded at you, the girls surrounding him as he tried his best to calm them. “Ladies please,” he said as you stood back, waiting patiently. He would usually come over to you, giving you a kiss and hugging you in front of everyone. You had never been insecure about your relationship, especially knowing Rin was a superstar because he always made time for you.

However, as he continued to smile and sign autographs, you stood there waiting and waiting and waiting. Soon, twenty minutes had passed and Rin hadn’t come up to even acknowledge your existence. You figured he was just excited, this was a big game after all and he definitely deserved to celebrate but when he headed to the locker room, not even acknowledging your existence, that you deflated.

He had never ignored you for this long or failed to acknowledge your presence. You sighed, waiting for him to emerge from the locker room. When he finally did, you wait again as he talked with Komori, the teams Libero. In fact, it wasn’t until Komori waved at you, that Rin finally seemed to acknowledge you were waiting.

“Oh hey babe, I’ll meet you at home ok? Im going out with the guys for dinner!” He said before waving at you and rushing from the gym. You stood there, hands clasped as you nodded, trying hard not to let your emotions take over. Your turned on your heels, heading to your car and going home to your empty apartment.

When Rin finally came home, it was almost 11pm. You sat up, from on the couch as he entered and removed his shoes. “Man I’m beat! Im going to head to bed babe,” he said, kissing the top of your head as you stared at him. He had barely acknowledged you at all tonight and all you wanted to do was celebrate with him.

Since you and Rin had always had an open relationship, you decided that it was best to express your concerns to him. Maybe he just needed to be reminded that you were there to support him.

“Hey Rin, uhh you didn’t hug me or kiss me tonight after the game,” you said, standing in the doorway of the bedroom as he took his shirt off, throwing it beside the laundry basket.

“Yeah sorry I was busy. It was kind of a big night ya know?” he chuckled as he went to your en suite, grabbing his face wash and continuing about his routine.

“It- it just kind of hurt you know? You always kiss me after a game,” you said, playing with your fingers as you looked into the bathroom mirror. You saw him roll his eyes as he shook his hands, grabbing a towel to dry them.

“Geez Yn it was one time for fucks sakes, please tell me you aren’t going to make a big deal out of this and ruin what WAS a good night?” He said, walking out of the bathroom and past you to the bed.

“Rin, I’m not trying to ruin your night, it’s just that, well I’m feeling a little unappreciated I guess,” You said as he looked at you, confusion growing on his face.

“Seriously Yn? You really want to do this now? Im exhausted and I’m not in the mood,” he began to shout as you whinced, not wanting to start anything but knowing what you had to say was important.

“Rin I-”

“You know, Jenna never acted this way after I won a game. I’d come home and she’d let me be!” He spat as you stood frozen. You couldn’t be he had brought her up, of all the people, why her? You felt your body heat up, your emotions overtaking you as you watched Rin get into bed and turn the light off.

How could he have said that? How could he have possibly brought his past girlfriend up? You knew about Rin and Jenna, how they had mutually broken up a few months before you met him. He didn’t seem to hold any animosity towards her but he never talked much about her and certainly he’d never brought her up during a fight.

Slowly backing out of your shared room, you closed the door as your eyes filled with tears. Not only had he utterly tore you down but he brought up someone from his past, something he knew would hurt you.

You mindlessly walked to the kitchen, grabbing your keys and purse before turning off the lights and silently leaving your apartment. You headed to your car, sitting in the drivers seat as the emotions finally hit. You let it all out, whaling as the tears fell in waves. You couldn’t scream, you couldn’t make any noise, everything was caught in your throat as you tried but failed to let it out. Finally, managing a breath, your body shuttered as you screamed, your head resting on your steering wheel as you continued to cry.

Rin tossed and turned in bed, his body exhausted but he couldn’t sleep. He had instantly regretted what he said about his ex, mentally berating himself for ever saying anything. He thought about what you said, about how you felt. He hadn’t meant to ignore you, he had just gotten caught up in all the excitement of winning. He felt like a complete ass, letting you walk out after he had said such awful things.

He noticed the light in the living room was dim, figuring you had just fallen asleep on the couch. He’ll admit this wasn’t the first time you two had slept apart due to a fight but this time he knew it was all his fault. Truthfully, he hated being without you, he hated sleeping alone. He loved how cuddly and soft you were next to him. He loved the feeling of your body and how your love for him poured into everything you did.

He knew how lucky he was, you came to every game, even to the ones that were several hours away. Hell once your even flown to Europe to see him play in an international match. He knew what true love was and how he had failed to show you that.

Looking at the clock, he saw it was 3:00am. He sat up, throwing the covers off as he stood in just his shorts and walked to the door. His plan was to grab you from the couch, hold you and apologize. He would make it up to you tomorrow, taking you out on a fabulous date to show his appreciation for everything you did for him.

He flipped on the hall light, walking out to the living room. He looked to the couch, noticing it was empty. Confused, he turned and headed to the spare bedroom, knowing fully well you never slept in there because “it was only for guests.”

He threw the light on, his eyes widening when you weren’t in there. “YN!” He shouted as he ran back to your shared bedroom, turning the light on and running to the bathroom. There was no sigh of you as he ran to the living room, turning on every light he could.

His hands went to his hair as he frantically raked through it, worried about where you might be. He ran to the kitchen and the guest bathroom, noting no trace of you.

“YN- shit!” He shouted as he turned, noticing your purse and shoes were gone.

“FUCK!”

He raced back to the bedroom, grabbing his phone before hitting your number, “pick up, come on baby pick up!” He packed back and forth, your phone continuing to ring until it finally hit voicemail.

“Fuck!” he shouted, pulling up the only other person he could think as he sat on the edge of his bed and raked through his hair, his knee bouncing as he waited for an answer.

“Hello?” A groggy voice answered.

“Samu! It’s Rin, have you heard from YN?” He spat out

“What? What fucking time is it?” Osamu said as he groaned, “dude it’s 3am! Why the hell would I have heard from YN? She’s your girlfriend!”

“I fucked up Samu, I fucked so bad man and now she’s fucking gone! She’s never left before man, fuck what do I do?!?” Suna panicked as tears began to fill his eyes. You two had fought before but you had never left, in fact you’d never leave without telling him where you’d go.

“What happened?” Osamu said, sounding more awake than before, his voice carrying as he made his way to the kitchen.

“I- I shit man! She was upset because I didn’t kiss her after the game and when she brought it up to me, I brought up how Jenna would never act that way,” he sighed, his head hanging low at the words resurfacing. He thought of what he said making him sick. He never loved Jenna, in fact, his relationship with her was one of convenience. It wasn’t until he met you that he learned what being in a partnership was really like. How it felt to have someone supporting you and being there when you needed them.

“Damn Rin, what the fuck man? Dude that’s low!” Osamu said as Rin nodded his head

“I know I fucking know! She’s gone dude, and she’s not answering her phone! What if something happened to her? Fuck I’ll never be able to live with myself!” He cried as Osamu sighed.

“Ok listen, I’m sure YN is fine. She’s a smart girl. She’s really upset right now and I don’t blame her. You need to give her some breathing space man,” he said as Rin stood up, pacing once more.

“I can’t- I can’t I have to find her! Fuck man I can’t lose her she’s it for me, she’s the one!” He shouted, tears now overflowing.

“Ok, come over and we can regroup here. I’ll try calling her, maybe she’ll answer for me,” he said as Rin quickly threw on his shoes and grabbed his keys, locking the door before running to the elevator.

“I’ll be there in 5,” he said, hanging up as he raced to his car. In the parking garage he noticed your car was still parked next to his, making his heart drop. His worst fears were coming true. You’d never leave without your car, there was no way!

Approaching the spot, he noticed a figure slumped over the steering wheel. His eyes widened, adrenaline racing as he realized that it was you.

“Fuck FUCK!” He screamed as he ran to your door, throwing it open as you shot up, heart pounding as you met the eyes of your boyfriend.

“Rin what-”

No more words escaped as you were tackled in your seat by your giant boyfriend, his cries penetrating the vehicle as he hugged you tight.

“Fuck baby are you ok?? God I’m so fucking sorry! Im the biggest idiot ever to exist and I should have never said any of those things!” He cried as you embraced him, memories slowly coming back to you.

“Rin, where’s your shirt?” You asked as he looked at you, shaking his head and looking down at his shirtless form.

“I couldn’t sleep. I felt like the biggest ass ever and I went to apologize to you. I couldn’t find you and I panicked. I was so afraid you had left me for good Yn. I know I would have deserved it but I don’t think I��ve been so scared in all my life baby!” He said, pulling you close in the awkward space.

You rubbed his back, feeling bad for causing him so much worry. “I’m sorry for leaving but I had to get out, what you said really hurt me,” you said as he looked in your eyes, his heart crushed that he had caused all of this.

“Baby don’t apologize! This is all my fault! I should have never treated you like that. I love you so much and I took advantage of everything you do. I’m sorry for ever saying those things to you. You are the most important person in my entire life and I love you more than you’ll ever know. I know I don’t show you and I’m going to change that baby, I promise!” He said as you caressed his cheek.

“I forgive you Rin,” you said with a small smile as his lips collided with yours as he pulled you close.

“I love you so fucking much Yn!” He said, putting his forehead to yours.

“I love you too Rintaro.”

[rishiguro]

BUSY THINKING ABOUT EX BOYFRIEND!SUNA

ex boyfriend!suna who refuses to show any kind of emotion regarding your breakup, keeping his stoic facial expression.

ex boyfriend!suna who however doesn't want to talk about you or even hear your name being mentioned; and whenever anybody brings you up, he leaves.

ex boyfriend!suna who dropped off the clothes you kept in his place during a time he knew you weren't home, simply because he doesn't want to face you.

ex boyfriend!suna who still looks at your social media profile religiously, clenching his jaw when he sees your radient smile in your newest posts.

ex boyfriend!suna who can't bring himself to throw away your photo albums, instead keeping them underneath his bed (just like he did before)

ex boyfriend!suna who avoids every place that you frequent, but denies that he doesn't go there because of you.

ex boyfriend!suna who still goes to the small cafés and restaurants where you used to go on dates. ordering the exact same thing he always ordered.

ex boyfriend!suna who sometimes gets your coffee order while he's out, even though he doesn't like it, because he misses the time where he could taste it when kissing you.

ex boyfriend!suna who drafts long messages to you, pouring his heart out, only to never send them.

ex boyfriend!suna who was always one to listen to music, but now he's never leaving his home without headphones, wanting to block everything and everyone out.

ex boyfriend!suna who suddenly is way more social with his friends, because he doesn't want to be left alone with his thoughts if it's not necessary. because every thought he has is about you.

ex boyfriend!suna who hates you for looking so happy after your breakup, wondering why he has to be the only one that suffers constantly.

ex boyfriend!suna who isn't used to feeling so intensly, because now he can't lean on you anymore.

ex boyfriend!suna who would never actually admit that he wants you back, opting to wallow in your shared memories.

reblogs are appreciated

[seroh]

something blue

suna, f.reader

in which you try to get the courage to divorce your cheating husband.

words: 0.7K

notes: angst; edited and reposted from my other blog

something old | something borrowed | something blue

What is a vow? 

The question popped in your head as you stared at your wedding photo. It hung proud and mighty on the wall opposite your bed, so big it had seemed pretentious and self centered when you’d ordered it, but your husband had insisted. He had called it proof of his love and devotion for you. You called it overcompensation and deceit.

If only you hadn’t been so naive, so trusting. If only you had opened your eyes instead of blindly entering the fantasy world Suna had so carefully crafted for you. 

“Poor girl. Poor pathetic, stupid girl,” you muttered, words not reaching the ears of the woman frozen in time, living a lie. “You really thought he was perfect, huh?”

And truly, you had. He had once seemed like the most perfect, most idyllic of men. Even months after the wedding, he still played the role of the doting and loving husband. Now, the real face that hid behind the mask plagued your nightmares, kept you up at night. The bitterness of truth wouldn’t leave your mouth, its vile taste made you nauseous just from thinking about it.

If it hadn't been for the getaway trip you had planned just because, you would've still been caught in his webs. It was your prevalent postnuptial bliss what had, in the end, shone the light on his deceit. It almost made you laugh. A cruel, resentful kind of laugh.

Instead, you cried.

‘What is a vow?’ You asked yourself again, spite rising against the pain. Was it a promise born of love? Was it an ode to fidelity? Wishful thinking? Pretty lies?

A vow, you decided, was the purest form of deception.

Even now, having known for so long what he was doing in the shadows, you still thought about his voice, his face, his smile as he declared your love eternal, and saw a man deeply in love. His eyes hadn't seemed anything but adoring, his words nothing but heartfelt. His mask had been so carefully crafted no one would've doubted his heart and soul belonged to you.

Oh, what a fool you must've seemed. You could almost see them, laughing at your expense after your many anniversaries, mocking the love you held for him, your happiness and tears after his proposal. And to think that, at some point, you had come to consider her a friend too.

His best friend. He had kept his lover right by your side, even encouraged you to get closer to her. And you were too in love with him to notice.

Suna hadn't put any effort into his affair and neither, looking back on it, into hiding it. Memories came to you of them in compromising situations, but they were just so affectionate with each other. They had been friends for so long, way before you came into the picture. It was just the way they were with each other, so how could you try to pull them apart? How could you even think he would see her that way? Were you really so insecure that you didn't think a man and a woman could be friends?

It was obvious now, of course, that he was just manipulating you with those words. Realizing it really put into perspective just how long he had been seeing her behind your back. He hadn't woken up one day and realized you weren't enough, that he needed more. She had always, always had him for herself, even back when you were just getting to know him, it was her he belonged to.

You had just borrowed him for a while, and it was time to give him back.

You stood up, wiped the tears off of your face, and grabbed the crumbled envelope beside you. As you left your apartment and went down the stairs, you realized it was for the best. Divorcing him was for the best. He had been gone for weeks now, and you weren't planning on taking him back.

You ignored the pity-filled looks the neighbors gave you, and marched to the front desk. Your hand faltered for just a second before extending the envelope to the receptionist.

"Next time the mailman comes, give this to him. To send urgently."

Your voice quavered and your fingers hesitated to let go when he grabbed it, but the old man just gave you a comforting smile.

It's time to let go, you reassured yourself.

You could only hope Suna had enough compassion to make it easy.

SEROH 2024

[rinslutz]

bro code - a haikyuu au (18+) REWRITE

two years after breaking up with your ex, osamu, you have moved on with your life. you finally get a big role in an up coming tv show after years of small insignificant roles. when you find out that your co-star is suna rintaro, your ex's best friend who you despise, you plan on dropping the role. however, suna isn't exactly how you remember and for some reason you start catching feelings.

pairings: suna x fem!reader & osamu x fem!reader

genre: angst! written + smau

tropes: actor!suna, actor!osamu, enemies to lovers, exes to lovers

warnings: 18+, love triangle, miscommunication, cheating, toxic relationships, unrequited love, explicit sexual scenes, asshole charactes

taglist: (open)

status: ongoing

cast

SEASON ONE ↓

episode one :

episode two :

episode three :

episode four :

episode five :

episode six :

episode seven :

episode eight :

episode nine :

episode ten :

episode eleven :

episode twelve :

episode thirteen:

episode fourteen :

episode fifteen :

SEASON TWO ↓

(coming soon)

taglist: (open)

[loveephia]

"i'll never let another boy hurt you ever again." your close friend, suna rintarō, vowed a promise as he held your crying figure close. a small smile formed on his face at the fact that you found comfort in him first. he was first.

best believe that he kept his promise, even years later.

oh, how radiant you were, walking down the aisle, even though it wasn't toward him. it was toward kita shinsuke, his perfect, no-cutting-corners, straight A'd volleyball captain in high school.

it wasn't like suna was bitter about the occasion. if you weren't for him, then he'd much rather you be with kita, a boy who could never hurt you.

one day, you'll thank him for protecting you from all the sleazy guys you almost fell for, but really, there's no thanks needed to be said.

after all, he was just doing what every friend would do.

as he was, your close friend, suna rintarō.

© lowercase intended | loveephia