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#hulk misquotes
gammacousin · 1 year
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Inspired by comments in the Brutasha discord
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The one where Jen and Bruce find Betty as a non verbal red she-hulk…
Jennifer Walters: “Hey Doc? I don’t think Betty’s actually dangerous.”
Bruce Banner: *at his desk* “Really?! Well! In that case let’s keep her. I’ve always wanted a pet, that could kill me!”
Jennifer Walters: “What if we just send her back in the Time Machine. It’ll be like she never left and everything goes back to normal.”
Bruce Banner: “That is a horrible idea! March right out into public with her roaring?! Then I guess we just, waltz right up to the Avengers Compound, right?!”
———-
At the compound:
Bruce Banner: “Put that thing back where it came from, or so help me!”
Jennifer Walters: “Oh hey!” *waving at Bucky* “We’re rehearsing a scene from the upcoming company rendition of uhhh Rogers 2. It’s a musical. Yeah…When Peggy spots Steve robbing from her back in time -…it’s a song. ‘Put that thing back where it came from or so help meeee. So help me, so help me,’ and cut! It’s a work in progress, we are still working on it.”
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[After Bruce turns back after a battle]
Natasha: See, it wasn’t that bad. 
Bruce: (mumbles) Yeah.
Natasha: Hey, at least you didn’t collapse or make those loud groaning noises. I’m gonna count that as a win.
Bruce: (protesting) I still turn back shirtless!
Natasha: (raises eyebrow) Do you hear me complaining?
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purrrcrastination · 7 years
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‘We’re the same, you and I. Just a couple of pot-headed fools.’
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chelsfic · 4 years
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I Think We Could Do It if We Tried - Guillermo x Nandor Fluffy One-shot
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Summary: Guillermo comforts Nandor on his saddest night and revelations are made during bath time. (Takes place during S2 E2, Ghosts)
A/N: Some recovery fluff. P.S. I always associate this song with Nandermo thanks to this really sweet fancam.
Warnings: Fluff, Crack, First kiss, Yearning, Soft hours, Guillermo being compared to a horse, Nudity but no smut
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"You know I'll do anything you ask me to But oh my God, I think I'm in love with you Standing here alone now, think that we can drive around I just wanna say how I love you with your hair down Baby, you don't got to fight, I'll be here til the end of time Wishing that you were mine, pull you in, it's alright" --"Sofia" by Clairo
Guillermo stands frozen in place, the phantom image of ghost Nandor and his steed still hangs in his field of vision like the imprint of a camera’s flash. His master looks stricken and utterly alone. He’s never seen him so vulnerable.
He approaches cautiously, ready for the cold rebuke that always comes whenever he attempts to connect with Nandor. Honestly, Guillermo doesn’t know why he keeps trying. He supposes it’s because every now and then, tonight for instance, the curtain parts and his master reveals a bit of the tender soul that he keeps so well guarded by bravado and arrogance.
“They’re at peace now, Master,” Guillermo says quietly, reaching out to pat Nandor’s arm. 
Nandor is silent for a beat, his face tensed with emotion and anxiety. Finally, he turns to his familiar and speaks in a lost, trembling voice.
“Hug?”
Guillermo feels the breath rush out of his lungs and his lips curl into a quick, here-and-gone grin. He darts his eyes to the camera crew before looking back at Nandor and schooling his features into bland subservience.
“Of course, master,” he answers, opening his arms and calmly wrapping them around the hulking vampire, as if this isn’t a partial fulfillment of his most dearly held wish. “It’s alright, master.”
Eleven years of service. Nearly eleven years of pining and secretly loving his master. And this is the first time they’ve ever hugged. Nandor holds Guillermo tight to his chest, as if clinging to a life preserver. He buries his face into his familiar’s soft, sweater-clad shoulder and his breath hitches silently, tugging at the human’s heart strings. Guillermo’s face is squished into Nandor’s broad chest, his glasses are askew and a wide, blissed out smile spreads over his lips. He locks his hands together at the small of Nandor’s back and breathes in the earthy...slightly off scent of his master. Oh, right...the ectoplasm. 
Guillermo doesn’t even care that his face is currently pressed up against dried ghost gloop. This is the best night of his life.  
“Guillermo?” Nandor’s voice is still so small and fragile.
“Yes, master?” 
“I’m covered in gunk. Will you draw me a bath?”
Oh.
--
Guillermo sits on the stool by the massive, claw foot tub, dipping a hand into the water to test the temperature. Hot but not scalding, just right for his sensitive master. He drops the glittery lavender bath bomb into the water and watches it fizz, releasing a pleasant, soothing aroma. 
“Ready?” Nandor asks from the doorway. Guillermo turns to see his master standing there in his long, red silk robe. His hair is down, falling around his face in natural waves and drawing Guillermo’s eyes downward to the triangle of exposed chest hair at the robe’s open collar. 
He takes a deep, steadying breath before answering, “Yes, master. I used the glitter bath bomb so you can look like Twilight after.”
Nandor grins and does a little happy two-step, “Yay! Good job, Guillermo!”
Guillermo’s heart swells at the praise and...just how adorable Nandor can be sometimes. This is how it happens. This is why he stays and cares for this man after years of neglect and disrespect. 
Nandor steps forward and waits expectantly. No matter how many times they do this, Guillermo will never be immune to seeing his master entirely nude. His hands shake slightly as he reaches to untie the loose knot holding the robe in place. Nandor shrugs the thin material off his shoulders and Guillermo’s heart hammers as it falls into his hands. He turns away with a brilliant blush, folding the robe and setting it on top of the toilet, completely missing the way Nandor’s eyes follow him with a glint of amusement. 
Nandor is still waiting next to the tub when Guillermo turns back around. His traitorous eyes roam up and down his master’s form. Nandor is impossibly tall and regal looking, even in the nude. His body is covered in a layer of soft, dark hair... his chest, his arms, his legs. If Guillermo looks close enough-- which, he has --there’s even a light layer of hair over the round globes of Nandor’s buttocks. Guillermo loves his master’s body. He loves that Nandor’s belly is soft and covered in a healthy layer of fat. He loves his thick, powerful thighs. He loves the broad expanse of his back and shoulders. Looking at Nandor, it’s easy to see him as the fierce, deadly warrior of his human life. Next to him Guillermo feels small and dull.
He walks over and takes Nandor’s hand, helping him balance as he steps into the water. Guillermo keeps his eyes carefully trained above the waist as Nandor sinks down into the steaming water. The vampire lets out a pleased sigh at the touch of the hot water on his cold skin.
“Shall I wash your hair first, master?” Guillermo asks, rolling up the sleeves of his white button down. His sweater is neatly folded with Nandor’s robe. 
“That would be nice,” Nandor hums, his eyes closed in relaxation. He grimaces as he adds, “It’s all...sticky.”
Guillermo drags the stool over and picks up a bottle of shampoo.
“Do you wanna dunk for me?” He suggests. He watches as Nandor takes an unnecessary breath before dipping beneath the surface of the water, coming up a second later with his hair plastered to his head and his lips sputtering as he releases the air from his lungs. 
Guillermo pours shampoo into his palm, lathering it up before sinking his fingers into Nandor’s hair and beginning the process of carefully massaging it through the long strands. Nandor groans and relaxes his neck, letting his familiar support his head in an act of casual trust that sends a tiny quiver through Guillermo’s soft heart. These quiet, intimate moments with his master are some of his most cherished memories. He purposely ignores how pathetic that makes him.
“Mmm,” Nandor groans, the sound doing uncomfortably fluttery things to Guillermo’s stomach. “That is very nice, Guillermo. You’re so gentle.”
Guillermo bites his lip and murmurs, “Thank you, master.”
They fall into a comfortable silence, Guillermo losing himself in the task of cleaning his master’s hair and Nandor falling into a trance under his human’s soft touch. The silence stretches until Nandor is disturbed by the sound of Guillermo trying to muffle a laugh. 
“What’s so funny, Guillermo?” he prods, turning slightly and dumping water over the side of the tub and into Guillermo’s lap. 
Guillermo’s used to being in the splash zone during Nandor’s baths and he barely reacts. Instead he gives in to his mirth and lets go of a clear little laugh that echoes oddly through the bathroom. 
“Here, I’ll show you,” Guillermo answers, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone. 
He opens the camera app and flips it to selfie mode, leaning down until his face is next to Nandor’s and holding the phone at arm’s length to snap a picture. He shows it to Nandor and the vampire guffaws. On the screen Guillermo’s thousand watt smile is contrasted with Nandor’s look of blank confusion. His soapy hair is sculpted into a loose, goopy mohawk on top of his head.
“You have given me the punk hawk hair!” Nandor crows, reaching up and gingerly feeling his hair. He lets his hands drop back down beneath the surface of the water and he doesn’t look at Guillermo as he continues, “Thank you for that, Guillermo. I...needed to laugh tonight.”
Guillermo’s chest constricts but before he can answer, Nandor plunges down under the water, rinsing the shampoo from his hair before resurfacing. He turns to face Guillermo, his skin and hair glinting from the glitter bath bomb, “Do I look like Twilight , Guillermo?”
Guillermo nods with a fond smile and Nandor misquotes, “ Say it, Guillermo. Loudly .”
Guillermo laughs, “ Vampire! ”
Nandor giggles as his familiar moves on to conditioning his hair. 
“After all these years, a moving picture that finally is worthy of telling the tale of the vampires,” Nandor muses. 
Guillermo’s hands pause in Nandor’s hair and he squints his eyes in profound confusion before deciding to let that one go. It’s silent again for a few moments before Nandor suddenly addresses him in a more formal tone, “Guillermo...I want to say something to you. To put you on your ease…”
“...Yes, master?” Guillermo asks with a healthy dose of trepidation lacing his voice.
“I do not wish for you to be concerned after hearing the tale of my horse, John, and his demise. You know...because I ate him? Just because I ate John does not mean that I will eat you, Guillermo. I’ve grown ...I’ve changed ...I’m not the same maniac who used to go around lighting peasants on fire for fun.”
“I know that--” Guillermo starts to say and then a record scratch sounds in his brain, “--wait, are you comparing me to your horse?”
Nandor shrugs and casts a disbelieving glare over his shoulder, “Yes? You should take it as a compliment, Guillermo! I loved John--”
Nandor’s mouth snaps shut at once but the words are already out there, lingering in the humid air between them. Guillermo’s hands go still in Nandor’s hair for a split second as his mind stutters and reboots. He can see Nandor’s shoulders tightening up and can just imagine the anxious grimace he’s most likely wearing as he awaits Guillermo’s reaction. 
Guillermo starts working his fingers through his master’s hair once more, giving himself a moment to compose a response. He knows, by now, that Nandor will withdraw ten steps after moving forward one if Guillermo makes too big a deal out of this...almost confession.
He finishes lathering the conditioner and dips his hands into the water at his master’s back, rinsing them and coming away with glitter dusting his skin. He laughs, holding his hands up to Nandor and joking, “Look, master! I’m a vampire!”
Nandor’s shoulders relax and he grins in delight, “It is funny because, of course, you aren’t!”
Guillermo rolls his eyes, but the light fluttery feeling in his chest is there to stay. His master loves him. Maybe it’s not the same kind of love that Guillermo feels. Maybe Guillermo should really take a hard look at the fact that he’s gushing over being compared to a horse. But for now he’s going to hold onto this moment like a candle flame glowing in his chest. His master loves him .
Later, while Guillermo is helping him to towel dry, Nandor makes a seemingly off handed comment that causes Guillermo’s mouth to go dry.
“Guillermo,” Nandor’s gaze is caught on his familiar’s cheek and the streak of ectoplasm drying on his skin. “The bath is still warm. Why don’t you wash as well. It’s been a long night…”
“I…” the idea of bathing in the same water that has so recently engulfed his beloved master is...an overwhelming powerful thought. “Th-thank you, master. I will…”
Nandor nods, “Good...good. And, thank you, Guillermo. For helping me on my saddest night.”
Guillermo blushes, smiling up at Nandor with devotion shining from his brown eyes, “Of course, master. I’m always...I’ll always be here for you.”
A shadow passes over Nandor’s eyes at Guillermo’s words but he simply nods and turns to leave. 
Once the door closes shut behind him Guillermo takes a huge breath, turning to look at the murky water in the bath with a thrill that feels absolutely filthy. He’s going to bathe in Nandor’s...essence. Maybe he’ll smell like him afterwards? He turns the tap, adding some hot water to warm the bath back up and discarding his clothes in a little heap in the corner. Once he’s undressed, he turns off the water and steps cautiously over the rim of the tub, mindful of the pools of water on the tile floor from Nandor’s splashing. He’s just sinking down with a contented sigh when the door flies open and Nandor reappears.
“I have forgotten my...nail trimmers!” Nandor announces loudly, grabbing the first item he lays eyes on from the vanity.
“Oh, um…” Guillermo’s face is red hot and he slips down even further into the water, somehow incredibly shy about his nakedness despite having just spent an hour carefully cleaning his naked master. 
Nandor lingers in the doorway, letting cold air creep into the room and causing Guillermo to shiver. 
“Could you--um--shut the door, please? You’re letting in a draft…” Guillermo mutters. 
Nandor jumps and quickly slams the door shut with him still inside the bathroom. They stare at each other in dumb silence for a moment before Nandor finally clears his throat, his eyes darting all over the place but always returning to land on the little bit of his familiar’s exposed flesh he can see above the water line.
“Would you...I could...help you. With your hair. If you like…” the words are halting and awkward.
Guillermo is frozen, he dares not even take a breath lest he somehow shatter the moment. His mind supplies him with the line, Keep absolutely still...its vision’s based on movement…
“Sure,” he answers, his eyes sparkling with barely restrained glee. “That would be very nice of you, master.”
“Of course it would be,” Nandor scoffs, rolling his eyes and striding forward with purpose. “I’m being nice to you on purpose so you don’t worry about the whole me eating you thing, remember?”
Nandor plops down behind him and squirts about half the bottle of shampoo into his hand. 
“Oh, right. Thank you, master. I’m glad you’re not going to eat me,” Guillermo barely registers his own words, he’s too overwrought with the way this evening is going. Never in his wildest--
“You’re welcome,” Nandor answers and then places his hand atop Guillermo’s head, dunking him unceremoniously under the water.
Guillermo emerges a couple seconds later, gasping and sputtering, grabbing his glasses off his face and wiping at his eyes.
“Could you, uh--?” Guillermo hands his dripping spectacles to Nandor and the vampire takes them with his free hand and lovingly deposits them onto the side of the sink. 
Nandor begins to paw his hands over Guillermo’s head, roughly lathering the shampoo into his short curls and privately delighting in the feel of his familiar’s hair under his fingers. Guillermo holds still, nervous about how much the cloudy water is actually hiding from the vampire’s eyes. Nandor jerks his head roughly, scrubbing behind Guillermo’s ears and down the back of his neck as well.
“Uh--master? Could you try to be a little more gentle?”
Nandor’s hands freeze, hovering in the air over Guillermo’s head, “I have hurt you? I will be more careful…”
The fingers return to Guillermo’s hair, softly and slowly massaging his scalp. Guillermo sighs, “That’s much better, thank you.
Nandor hums in acknowledgment before remarking, “I think I was still thinking about my sweet John. I used to wash him like this. Of course...I could be much rougher with him. Because he was a horse…”
“Of course…” Guillermo murmurs, his eyes falling shut as he leans his head back into his master’s palms. “This is so nice…”
“Good, I’m glad,” Nandor replies. “You deserve it! So loyal. Making me feel better about eating my dead horse friend… You’re a good familiar, Guillermo…”
Nandor lapses into silence, but there’s a new quality to it. As if he’s leaving something unsaid. Guillermo doesn’t know how, but he senses Nandor’s hesitance as the vampire continues stroking his fingers carefully, lovingly through his hair.
“Master?” Guillermo ventures, heart in his throat. “Is there something else?”
Nandor sighs, “Only that...John died without ever knowing how I felt...I mean, he was a horse so probably he would not have understood, but still.”
“Oh…” Guillermo’s eyes drift up the ceiling and he compresses his lips into a thin line before asking, “What would you have said to him?”
“I’m going to dunk you again, Guillermo,” Nandor gives him a second’s warning this time before pressing down on his head. Once Guillermo comes back up for air, the vampire answers the question, “Well...I suppose I would have said...you know, something along the lines of how he was the very best horse in all of the land. And that I really appreciated everything he did for me even though sometimes it was hard for me to show it… And how… how sad I sometimes felt thinking about yo--John ever leaving me to go and let some other warrior ride around on him… And...you know, the stuff about loving him…”
Guillermo clears his throat, tears misting his eyes as he speaks, “W-wow, master. I’m sure--I’m sure John would have been very happy to hear you say those things. And...if he could talk he’d tell you that you never have to feel sad about him leaving you because he--he loves you, too.”
Nandor scrubs conditioner through Guillermo’s hair and is quiet for a while before sniffing loudly and scoffing, “Well...pretty stupid, if you think about it, Guillermo. If John could have talked he would have said something about how much he loved oats and maybe about wanting to make sex with the fillys.”
Guillermo sighs, and forces a laugh, “You’re right, master.”
When it comes time to drain the tub, Guillermo finds himself nervously reluctant. 
“You don’t have to help me dry off, master. I can handle it,” he blushes awfully and hugs his legs to his chest as Nandor stands to grab a fresh towel from the rack. 
“Please stand up, Guillermo. I am making a gesture, here,” Nandor answers, unperturbed. 
That is, until his familiar finally stands. Guillermo’s skin is hot and flushed from the bath. He’s studded liberally with sparkles from the bath bomb and Nandor’s eyes are drawn in at once. The familiar wraps his arms around himself, awkwardly trying to hide from his master’s seeking gaze. But Nandor steps forward and grabs Guillermo’s arms, pulling them out and away from his body so that he can look. Guillermo is perfectly soft, his body is all curves from the slope of his shoulders to his round belly and the wide, generous width of his hips. Nandor, feeling none of Guillermo’s shyness or reluctance, greedily drinks in the sight of the nest of curls between Guillermo’s legs and the soft, smooth length of his penis. His lips part to bare his fangs and his eyes light with hunger.
“Um...I’ll just…” Guillermo starts to scramble up and out of the tub and Nandor’s stupor is interrupted. 
He tightens his hold on his familiar’s arms to stabilize him.
“Watch out for the slippy bits, Guillermo!” Nandor cautions. “Colin Robinson says most human deaths in your age range are due to accidents. I don’t want you to slip and snap your neck on the floor. Very inconvenient for me.”
Guillermo is silent, he doesn’t really have the brain function to answer at this point. He’s never been so exposed in front of Nandor before and while part of him recognizes the obvious interest on his master’s face, another part of him is deeply self-conscious and pretty certain that Nandor is just thinking about biting him. 
Nandor begins toweling him off, and Guillermo tells himself that his master is certainly not letting his touch linger longer than necessary. This is just...a gesture. Once Guillermo is adequately dry, he takes the towel from Nandor and ties it around his waist with a sigh of relief. This is all...a lot.
“Thank you, master,” Guillermo finally says, preparing himself to be dismissed now that the moment is ending.
Nandor reaches over to the sink, plucking up Guillermo’s glasses and unfolding the arms, gently placing them on his familiar’s face with a little smile. 
“You’re welcome, Guillermo. And… what I said about John?” Nandor sounds uncertain, hesitant. “About appreciating him and...other things...”
“Yes?” Guillermo asks, slightly breathless. 
“I really meant it.”
Nandor steps forward and all at once he’s pulling Guillermo into his arms, stooping down and pressing his cool lips to his familiar’s warm, soft mouth. Guillermo squeaks in surprise, snapping his eyes shut and grabbing the flimsy silk fabric of Nandor’s robe as the vampire moves his lips over his, licking and suckling until Guillermo’s lips finally part, admitting his probing tongue. Nandor growls low in his chest, reaching one hand up to bury his fingers in Guillermo’s wet curls and letting the other rest over the small of his back. 
Kissing. Guillermo is kissing Nandor. Nandor is kissing Guillermo! In one night he’s gone from hugging for the very first time to being held in his master’s arms and thoroughly, passionately, deliciously kissed. When Nandor’s lips fall away from his, Guillermo takes the opportunity to gulp air into his lungs. His master leans his forehead against his, holding him in place for a moment as they breathe each other’s air. 
Finally, Nandor draws back, letting his hands fall away and asking, in a small voice, “Will you come tuck me into my coffin, Guillermo?”
Guillermo blinks, swallowing down the thousand and one questions currently crowding his brain. One step forward...please please please...no more steps back.
“Of course, master,” Guillermo answers. “I’ll always tuck you in at night. You know that.”
Nandor smiles, shyly locking eyes with Guillermo as he places his larger hand in his, pulling him along behind him on the way to his crypt.
Yeah... Guillermo muses with a dopey grin on his face as they pass by a gawping Laszlo in the hallway. Best night of my life.
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endgame ramblings
I tried to make a thread on twitter but it would have been awfully long soooo..
This will probably be a mess and I apologize. I also want to say that I stand by this and if anyone comes to my inbox with “BUT ACTUALLY!!!” asks, or trying to start discourse, you’ll be ignored. I don’t have time for that.
Let me start from the bad so we can end on a good note.
THE BAD
Thor. WHat the fuck did they do to youuu?? His glory moment at the last battle was Fantastic, but other than that, he was turned into a tasteless joke. But we been knew the mcu and the writers don’t know shit about PTSD or how to take it seriously.
This is more of a personal note, but I’ve never liked Bruce Banner/Hulk. It’s annoying to me, it’s lame, the bruc/enat agenda just reinforced my hatred to him, his parts/side story were just unnecessary? is it just me? ok.
It kinda peeves me the whole “I found a family (with the avengers)/ u made me a good person” of Natasha (?? don’t quote me on this), when the avengers were never a family to begin with. but lmao, okay. It was used, in my opinion, to give a bigger Emotional depth and shock value to the whole thing.
Steve. Oh boy, here we go.
Steve “you gave me a home” Rogers, Steve “I don’t want to live in the past even if it’s tempting” Rogers (again, don’t quote me on this, I’m relying on memory), Steve “I went to the past and hated it” Rogers? Steve “I cannot back up from a fight” Rogers. Went to the past, and stayed with a girl he met for  couple of weeks??? hIs TruE lOvE???? (if anyone made me hate steg/gy more than the fandom, is the mcu itself).
This is especially fucked up when Steve himself is at the beginning of the movie leading  support group to Move the Fuck On!!!
Am I supposed to believe that that is Steve Rogers? That is, my dudes, with all due respect, bullshit.
it’s just not realistic.gif
WHATEVER
I mean… I gave up on natasha and clint as characters since, probably, day one, soooo. I’m not thrilled they killed Natasha but the mcu didn’t deserve her either.
Clint has been a mess and his Big Arc conclusion ended up being more on the Ultimates!Clint so I’ll just… keep ignoring him as i’ve been doing.
I understand the difficulty of having a fuckton of characters in one movie, without making said movie 6 hours long, but I still would have wished more than one liners from certain characters.
Carol Danvers being there for like 5 minutes, considering she’s probably going to be the New Face of the mcu.
The time travel rules that just...make no sense. Either you alter something (taking out the stones) or you don’t? (going back to live the american dream)?????
???????
the sudden “everyone can touch stones even when we said before u could die if you do”.
WHAT MADE ME CRY
boiii,, BOOOOOIIIIIII here we go
Tony and Nebula? that was cute and great, loved it. nice.
Steve… rushing to Tony,... after he just landed.. to cradle him in his arms… I live off of this crumbs of the Friendship that should have always been.
“I lost the kid” BITCH! superfam!!! he was so so so heartbroken and his physical condition was shit and I lost it.
Pepper, it’s been 84 years, I missed her.
The “I told you so” moment. He fucking told you so!!!!!!!! Tony been knew!!! And no one listened to him. It was so satisfying to see him snap at all of them. Like, yes! Make them feel bad.
Tony invents time travel. Love that for him.
Scott Lang? Surprisingly had a large amount of time and I enjoyed it.
The whole time travel sequences, stevetony undercover in the 70’s? hell yeah. The  battle of NY and America’s Ass? Cap vs Cap? HELL YEAH.
Nebula and Rhodey bonding.
Rocket!! He’s just so *clenches fist* precious and supportive and amazing.
The Big Three! in a single frame, getting ready to fight thanos even when “this is a trap isn’t it?”.
The actual battle that leads to
STEVE!!!! HOLDING MJOLNIR!!! AND THOR’S PROUD SMILE BECAUSE YESS! HE KNEW HE WAS WORTHY, I FUCKING BLACKED OUT FOR A SECOND
THAT INFINITY GAUNTLET MOMENT WHEN IT’S JUST STEVE VS THANOS AND STEVE’S SHIELD IS BROKEN BUT THE LITTLE SHIT JUST WON’T STOP BECAUSE “AS LONG AS ONE MAN STANDS AGAINST YOU, YOU’LL NEVER WIN” (MISQUOTED, AGAIN) (THIS IS WHEN I STARTED SOBBING THAT WAS SO POWERFUL, GOOOOD, THE THANOS  ARMY AND STEVE ALL ALONE THERE THAT’S MY BOY!)
WHEN THE PORTALS STARTED TO OPEN AND ANGEL!SAM APPEARED AND BLACK PANTHER, AND EVERYONE CHEERED!
AND MORE AND MORE CHARACTERS APPEARED AND THANOS WAS LIKE “WHAT?”
RESCUE!!!! PEPPER!!!! SHE DID THAT!!!! I GOT CHILLS
THE WHOLE GAUNTLET RACE
“I AM IRON MAN”
WE CAME FULL CIRCLE, WE CAME FULL CIRCLE
THAT AVENGERS PANEL OF TONY WITH THE GAUNTLET BUT IN BIG SCREEN
Honestly i dont think there could have been a better ending, like, yes, that’s EARTH’S GREATEST DEFENDER, and sacrifices needed to be made, he knew it better than anyone. It just felt fitting.
it even felt like a kinda mirroring to Thanos and his “my destiny completes” kinda thing.
Overall, I feel satisfied with it. As someone who felt absolutely detached from the mcu for the last couple of years, I am surprisingly pleased with how it all ended. I feel like I am finally free.
Would watch again for sure.
If any of you read all this, thanks a lot!
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the-uncanny-jake · 5 years
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Sitting in a small town auto dealership service center customer waiting area, clearly planning on introducing these guys to the concept of nerd tears.
Update: 9 Minutes 30 seconds...failure imminent. Here they come.
Update 2: 20 minutes 37 seconds...they just told me I was misquoted for the price of the work I need to have done and the price more than doubled. My anger and hatefire has burned all the moisture from my eyes. I should be good.
Update 3: 25 minutes 39 seconds...Grown-up Cassie just grabbed her Daddy's face for the first time in 5 years. Here come the waterworks.
Update 4: 48 minutes 38 seconds...Hulk shares his tacos with Scott. Faith in Hulkmanity restored.
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aspiestvmusings · 5 years
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ENDGAME: THE MOMENTS
SPOILERS, BEWARE
All the moments that made us the most emotional in Endgame*
This is not a complete list: 
A3 & A4 & CM parallels: Captain Marvel gave Nick Fury the pager in 1985, telling to only call her for help if things are really bad. The first and only time (canon currently...until it’s revealed on screen that it’s happened off-screen before) Fury uses it is after the 2018 Thanos snap, when Fury realizes that Thanos won that battle & that Tony is out of the picture. Only the Earth & the Universe losing it’s greatest protector... iron Man/Tony Stark... made him call for help 
That misleading trick, when Tony isn’t fighting Thanos, but actually stealing something from him, so when the purple giant thinks he’s...inevitable... he’s actually mistaken, because... he isn't inevitable... (but)  Tony is Iron Man.
And then... how Tony's will is so strong that he makes Thanos watch his downfall (see all his army die)...before he dies himself. This is so powerful. Tony saves Thanos for the very end, making him live with the knowledge that he lost the game for his team, while Tony won the game for his team. The ultimate “revenge”. 
That american football game the team is playing at the end, where each team member gets their moment with the ball... trying to get it to the goal... endgame, and...finally... in the end... succeeding... (I see weird “parallels”, but that whole scene with that object seemed so much like american football to me, them all trying to get to a line, and passing it from one to another... and when one of them is going for the goal, the others are playing defence...) 
Tony asking Pepper to not post that recorded message (the one we see recorded in space, in the trailer) to social media, because it’s a real tearjerker...  (one day Tony’s whole speech...the one he recorded and we know she heard & saw.... will be posted on social media, and it will make us cry...again...)  And that is a warning... because when Pep is listening to/watching his later recording, the whole audience is silent & in tears... 
Tony saying that it’s been 21...no 22 days... since A3: IW... that is one day of drifting in space for every MCU film so far. And “23 days since Thanos came to Earth” means that the final number of films for this phase is 23 (A4 was 22nd & SM: FFH is the 23rd & last  film of this phase & Infinity saga) 
They warned us during the support group meeting that there will be crying before/during the salad & before/during the dessert. Thor’s mom says “eat a salad” in one scene... (and we get a mom/son moment + the Vormir scene is around this time) And then there is a scene of of Tony eating a popsicle (?) with M.H.S ...just after the Tony/Peter photograph scene. So... the audience, too, gets emotional & cries during the “salad” & “dessert” times/scenes in this film. Though... since dessert is usually saved for last, then the end of the film is the dessert, and that is a real tearjerker for sure. 
The number of metal clangs in the very end...the post credits audio track..of  Tony making the fist Iron Man suit in the cave... him using the hammer   to make the suit... in a cave...from spare parts... is the sound it all ends with, and if I'm not mistaken there are 5 clangs...so one for each lost year/one for each year he gained with Pep & Morgan. Though yes, there is a possibility it’s not a sound from the past... but instead from present/future...and someone else making a weapon (hammer) or a (iron) suit. Using not modern tech, but the same method as Tony in 2008... a box of scraps & a hammer. 
Rocket? Rachet? Rabbit? Build-a Beer? Or... something else? Rocket got called by many different “names” in this film...again. 
That angry speech Tony gave Cap/Steve in the beginning. So deserved IMO. And maybe I am not getting the whole picture, because I am not familiar with Caps whole story, and don’t know all the relevant details, but...  for me Caps ending proved that he remained/turned selfish, while Tony proved to be selfless. I found Cap’s decision to be (misquoting Bucky’s words here...) stupid. I don’t see it as him getting a taste of the same life as Clint, and Tony did. For me (again...maybe because I don’t know the character that well) it seemed that he really can’t move on, and he is forever stuck in the past (no matter how much that final scene on the bench kinda hints that he, after living the past, is finally able to let go of the past and move on...) unable to be a real hero, who puts greater good over personal gain. So I see their endings as following...
CONT: Tony proved Steve wrong - he was the real hero, and real protector...not just the Earth, but the whole Universe. Wherein Steve chose the selfish way out. For me this makes Tony’s story arc ending so much more better than Steve’s. I interpret this as the writers choosing to ...purposely... prove that the roles are actually different...from what Steve has previously claimed them to be. He’s the one hiding behind the mask, while Tony proves to be the strongest avenger. He has iron will...not just an iron suit. So...as for good writing goes... Tony got the good ending, Steve didn’t. Cap’s ending was a typical disney fairytale happy-ending... which in this case was definitely not great... it was ...bland. Fitting, yes. 
There is a lot of snapping in this film. Tony snaps at Steve. Flashback to Thanos snap last year. Hulk ‘s snap. Thanos’s failed snap. THE SNAP. 
Bruce/Hulk... combining the best of both “worlds” - the new Bruce/Hulk. The selfie with the fans moment. The pretend angry moment in 2012. giving 2 of his tacos to the regular-sized-man, who lost one of his...
The New Asgard. Where you have to drive very slowly (and carefully). And one, which doesn’t have their King now anymore. Though luckily by the end the people get their leader - a Queen. 
The time travel talk and making fun of sci-fi films that deal with time travel (and always use the typical film tropes) Then again...they use the typical move trope for superheroes... sacrificing one to save many... the greater good concept. But yeah...they make up their own rules for time travel in this film. 
Tony arriving in the e-tron. I mean.. you don’t have to see the car model yet or know who is coming, but you know... Only Tony drives like that. The scene also mirrors that scene in the past where Tony leaves in the same car model....driving off after that last conversation with Steve that he had.  The past scene was when  Tony & Steve last talked & the current scene is the first time they talk...again. (and it’s once again shows who is the bigger man here...cause it’s Tony who takes the first step & “apologizes”. while Steve says nothing about their past disagreements & putting it behind them. I was kinda surprised how they seemed to purposely “choose sides” as writers... portraying Tony as the character who has grown and developed, AND showing Steve as the character, who has stayed the same...if not even de-gressed)
Natasha/Clint fighting over who gets to do the “mission”... OMG... They each think they deserve to be the one to make the sacrifice, and they fight...seriously... to “save the other one”
That little smirk/smile from Natasha in her last scene... I cannot... just as she lets go of his hand. 
Also... reminder that Natasha (who was undercover as Natalie) was the first current OG6 Avenger Team member that Tony met... in IM2. Think about that now... after Endgame. 
The women protecting the team member transporting the object. I kinda like the symbolism of women being the protectors/caretakers. Though, yes, that scene seemed a bit too much... and “weird” to have in the middle of life/death battle.... But then again... the american football thing was also strange. So...typical superhero film stuff, I guess. 
Tony, again, knowing the outcome (he might’ve said that he thought his A2 vision was a dream, when it was sort of a prophecy...) and being prepared... that whole last speech he had prepared... HE KNEW! He knew even before Strange gave him the hint (via the hand gesture) what will happen, and yet he chose to do it all the same way... still... (taking us back to his character, and to his  talk with the man with the flowers in that earlier scene) 
Tony is the PRE-venger, while Steve is the A-venger. Tony plans ahead & prefers the preventative measure, while Steve prefers to wait & see... and take action after everything’s gone wrong. Tony prevents the fires, Steve puts them out after they’ve burned... half on everything. Two very different world views. And it’s ok... and I was OK with both... until the respective character arc ends. Because in the end Tony proved that he actually was right & Steve was wrong. His brain power & ability to have a vision in his mind of the reality, and ignore the limitations of space & time  tells of his character, and  heart & soul. 
This movie, again, tells you why Ironman/Tony Stark is the strongest Avenger. (he might not be able to lift the Mjolnir, but still... he is able to wear the IG... which harnesses so much power that it could light up a whole continent) He might not be physically as strong as some of the other Avengers, because underneath that iron suit is a  normal human being (without any “superpowers”), but he is still the strongest of them all... He has IRON WILL. And if anyone doubts that Tony Stark has the kindest heart, and that he is also the strongest avenger, and the mightiest superhero, then this film should debunk all that. It once again proves WHY and HOW he is THE ONE. 
And one might think that his decision to be “selfish” again...after the original snap, when others lost so much & couldn’t move on (and he moved on...even though he lost so much, too... but he tried...), but IMO this one was deserved. He lost, too. All of them lost someone & something, but instead of letting the past (depression) swallow him...like happened with Steve, Nat, & Thor...or let the future (anxiety) swallow him (like it did in IM3/A2), he accepted things as they were.  (Even if he didn’t truly do that... as evident by the secret suit-building lab in the Garage & the hi-tech computer in the living room to work on his ideas....and the sleepless nights he’d had) 
The scene where Tony has that talk with the other character, who has the same name as him (you know which scene I mean... right? The man with the flowers) and how that basically tells the viewer what’s to come. Tony aka Howard Potts meeting Howard Stark...in 1970. This talk is what pushes Tony to make the choice he makes  & this, together with the scene where he looks at the pic of him & the kid -- together with advice from this wife -- makes him choose the danger again...one last time. Choosing the greater good over personal gain. That has been his character since IM1, but definitely since IM3.   
Pepper. Oh, Pepper. We see that they share everything. He tells her everything. And she knows him (and while the only & greatest failure of her life may be not being able to make  him stop/step away from the superhero life...completely) and though she doesn’t like it (for reasons), she has always supported him/it... fully. That conversation on the sofa sums it up...perfectly. And then later we see that Pepper has gotten her anniversary gift (did Tony give it to her early? Did she find it...in the garage, just like M.H. did) and based on how well she was operating the suit, I’d say Tony & Pepper have done some suit test flights (together) before. And then when she asks Friday for status report, she is the supportive wife the whole time his hand is one hers (or was it her hand on his?), and she only lets her emotions out... afterwards. She is strong...for him. She was the source of his strength, in many ways. 
Tony’s end speech. This, to me, felt as both Tony saying goodbye to Iron Man & RDJ saying goodbye to IM/Tony. It did speak to me, directly, too. The line from the promo saing that “part of the journey is the end”, and how he helped everyone (himself, other characters,us...the viewers) say goodbye to  Iron Man... that was (however sad it might be) beautiful. 
The next generation being introduced...kinda. We see Steve actually give his shield to another character, therefore confirming who will be the new Captain America. Others are more like hints. Hawkeye training his daughter - Lila is gonna be the new Hawkeye.  There are no “replacements” introduced, as far as I could notice, for Hulk, Thor, or Black Widow. But there were...kinda hints for Tony’s successor. We saw Rescue being introduced, but that suit is most likely gonna be worn by not the person who wore it in this film, but by the one who “accidentally” found the helmet and tried it on. Or.... maybe..by the kid from IM3. Though I’d say it’s more likely hell be the new Iron Patriot instead (which is way cooler than WarMachine, right?) But..perhaps it’s like with Peter Parker, who was...kinda...introduced in Iron Man 2 (apparently the creators have revealed BTS that the kid in Iron Man mask in IM2 was young Peter Parker, and look how that turned out... a decade later he meets Tony Stark again -- and becomes a superhero, not just the friendly neighbourhood protector). So... if we want to look for parallels., then maybe in a decade the MCU will see the child character seen in Endgame in Ironman Mask as the next superhero & Avenger? 
I also liked that Carol/Captain Marvel wasn’t it that many scenes. She plays her role in the beginning & in the end of the film, but I liked that they focused on the original cast & the “old characters”, and CM just helped in moments when the team needed her help...the most. 
But why...oh why... has none of the other characters even half the character and strength/power to even think about using the “hot potato” for something else than playing american football - passing it from one to another, trying to score? When doing so would have shown their character. Because....none of them (not even Carol) is as strong as Tony. Everyone else knew they could not take it, but he did not even hesitate. (he went straight for the “head”)Sure..their mission until the end was to “pull it off” his hand and get it to the van, but if anyone would’ve just chopped off the hand instead & channelled the power of the stones themselves... it might’ve shown that someone else in the team was as badass as Tony is. 
...and that’s all...for now. 
There were, of course, so many other memorable, significant, funny, or sweet or heartbreaking moments, but since the film is really long and really packed,theres not enough room to cover everything in one post.-
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awesome-timtams · 6 years
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INFINITY WAR/AVENGERS 4 THEORY + ALL MY RANTS (SPOILERS)
because you know what? i’m not done.
i’ve come up with a theory, if only just to comfort myself. also, i’m still kinda unhappy over some things. (although this movie is really good, so please don’t judge the film too harshly based on other spoilers you’ve read. give it a chance and watch it before you form opinions please? :D )
WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS UNDER CUT. 
like, i’m not gonna censor myself. i’m just gonna rant. so you have been warned.
(if anybody wants me to add any tags to this post, just comment or smthin and ill do it yo)
LAST CHANCE FOR NO SPOILERS. WE COOL? OK.
just wanna say right off the bat, i’m not a comic fan. i’ve never read the comics. i don’t know shit about the comics. so all of this may come off as really stupid to comic fans, and for that, i apologise.
(also, after typing this all up, i’m realising just how negative i seem to come off this entire post? like, there were flaws, don’t get me wrong, i pointed out stuff i didn’t like, but overall this movie was really good. i fucking loved this movie. i went into the theatres really worried because there were so many characters and i was scared that it was gonna become real messy real quick and the plot would kinda be all over the place and overstuffed, but it actually worked out quite well in the end. there was a lot of humour and that’s great, because who isn’t up for humour? and it got real emotional and heartbreaking, and that was done really well so i applaud. i really do recommend going to watch this movie, because like seriously, it’s fucking good. went out of the cinemas and nearly walked straight back in to see it again)
now, theory first!
alright, so we remember how red skull ‘died’ right? he was holding the space stone, and as he’s holding it he starts to kinda ash away before he gets beamed up into space.
remember who else gets ashed?
just about everybody in the fucking movie (still not over that. god. i started fucking bawling my eyes out. was not very dignifying)
but yes, i think that they didn’t actually die? instead, they actually got transported to another universe like the red skull was? (or even better, their souls got sent to another universe, because after further research, that’s apparently what the soul stone does? and anyway, none of them got physically beamed somewhere like the red skull did. they all just faded to ash. i noticed that when wanda got ashed though, her entire being seemed to go grey for a brief couple of seconds before she turned to ash, and that kinda strikes me as what would happen if you lost the very essence of yourself? like your soul? so yeah, space stone beamed the red skull to a different universe physically, but the soul stone beamed them to a different universe…spiritually (also, i’m making this edit at 3 am in the morning so excuse if it’s just really incoherent)) because it didn’t escape anybody’s notice that none of the original avengers died right? only all the new heroes with confirmed sequels and shit did? 
so i think they’re actually safe but just in a different place for now. and then all the original avengers, in the next movie are gonna do some shit and sacrifice themselves to save everybody who got ashed. 
cus like, i refuse to believe they are permanently dead. i mean, c’mon. t’challa? the king of wakanda who’s arc only just got started? peter parker? when spiderman homecoming 2 has already been confirmed and is gonna start shooting soon? bucky? who’s had the whole white wolf thing/taking over the mantle as cap teased but neither were acted upon? fucking bullshit i tell you. didn’t stop me from fucking bawling my eyes out in the cinema. jfc i started crying like halfway thru the movie at gamora, escalated at bucky and then just curled into myself and died a little when peter clung on to tony. so yeah.
also i feel like they didn’t need to make the red skull come back and become the guardian of the soul stone. he wasn’t important, and was only there to give a bit of context into how to retrieve the soul stone. they could’ve easily just put a faceless character and have them do the exact same job and it would’ve made exactly zero change to the plot. so if the red skull is back, they must’ve done it for a reason. and that reason, i think, is the one i’ve been explaining above; to possibly show that being ashed isn’t gonna kill you, but instead transport you elsewhere. (also, yo, did anybody get dementor vibes when the red skull first appeared on screen?)
maybe this theory is just me being in denial over my favourites being killed god.
now onto my rants.
i thinkl loki and gamora are permanently dead. not happy about either deaths. loki’s was just…it’s just bullshit? he’s been killed and revived so many times that the emotional value of it is just not there anymore. and also, i don’t belive loki is stupid enough to go at thanos and pull a fucking pocketknife on him like, what’s that gonna do mate? and i feel loki, if he had a death scene, definitely deserved better than that. i feel like his arc kinda just got started, so him being killed off is kinda. urgh. so i’m pretty sure that loki’s not dead (cus c’mon), but at the same time if they bring him back it’s gonna be so fucking overplayed it’s gonna be like another episode of supernatural (i still love you spn but actually tho). so basically, marvel’s got themselves in a bit of a dump.
now onto gamora. idk, i’m just really not happy with the way she died? she didn’t deserve to go out like that? i mean, he sees his cause as the greater good, and people sacrifice a lot for their greater good, but still. not cool? i’m upset? gamora deserved so much more than to be tossed off that fuckin cliff? i actually reallyyyyy wanted gamora (or nebula) to be the one to kill thanos. maybe together. cus tbh fuck thanos. he fucked up their lives so hard, and what does gamora get in the end? thrown off a cliff, that’s what.
ALSO, QUILL. WHY. MATE. COULDN’T YOU HAVE DECKED THE SHIT OUT OF THANOS AFTER THEY MANAGED TO PULL OFF THE GAUNTLET??????? THEY WERE THIS. FUCKING. CLOSE. ARGHHHHHH.
also i’m still not over peter and bucky. god. bucky kinda stumbling out of the woods, and that little ‘…steve?’ before he just fucking. crumbles away. i was so fucking. no words. and i already knew peter was gonna die cus of that giRL (if you wanna see THAT rant, click here). but it was actually still so fucking heartbreaking? ‘…i don’t feel so good’ and ‘please, i don’t want to die’ as he just sobs while crumbling to ash in tony’s arms? i started bawling my eyes out (and wow take a shot every time i say that phrase in this post)
ok now onto some other things. i feel like this film sort of rendered most of ragnarok obsolete? like, (and this point was brought up by a friend so shout out to them) weren’t they trying to make it so that thor was less reliant on his weapons and more reliant on his own abilities and powers? and also, asgard. they gave us so much hope for asgard at the end of ragnarok, only to have it dashed apart in the beginning of infinity war. asgard? more like…asGONE. ba dum tss. (shitty joke i know but that’s how i cope). also. where. the fuck. is valkyrie?? i swear to god if she’s dead imma cut a bitch. 
also, i’m sort of upsetti clint didn’t show up in this movie. BUT. they mentioned at the beginning of the film that clint was off with scott to do some other shit regarding their families or smthin, which makes me think that maybe, just maybe, clint might actually show up in ant-man and the wasp. so, looking forward to that.
so yes, i feel like i’ve been quite negative throughout this post, so here’s a couple paragraphs dedicated to all the good things about this movie and my experience and why i love it. 
post-credits scene was? like, maria being ashed shook the whole cinema? and nick fury’s being ashed got me upset right up until the point where he swore and that kinda loosened the mood up. he’s so chill about everything i s2g. and that captain marvel insignia drop at the end was amazing. had the whole theatre shook. so yes, good post-credits scene.
they did emotions really well? especially in the last 20 mins, when everybody is being ashed, like, i cried. a lot. some of the emotions just came so clearly across the screen, and you could really feel what the characters themselves were feeling at the moment. some of the scenes were truly heartbreaking and beautiful (JUST, QUICK BREAK TO GIVE A SHOUTOUT TO TOM HOLLAND FOR HIS AMAZING PERFORMANCE? THANK YOU.)
the humour in this movie is fucking outstanding, but they never got in the way of the emotional scenes. the jokes were hilarious, and didn’t feel shoehorned in. they had the cinema rolling, and honestly, it was great. also, can i just say that quill being jealous of thor’s masculinity is fucking hilarious. and dr strange and tony going at it and trying to beat each other in who’s the most arrogant and all-knowing was fucking amazing, so kudos. anD ALSO. BRUCE AND HULK? FUCKING AMAZING. LOVED THEIR INTERACTIONS TBH. i would quote lines right now but i’m kinda fuzzy about them and i hate nothing more than misquoting so.
also. THOR. THOR. HIS ENTRANCE INTO WAKANDA IS SO FUCKING BADASS AND I HAVEN’T STOPPED SCREAMING ABOUT IT? IT’S SO BLOODY COOL, HOW HE JUST SWOOPS IN ALL DRAMATIC AND SHIT WITH HIS NEW AXE AND LIGHTNING AND JFALKGJRIOA yeah that was awesome.
i feel like i haven’t ever seen a movie with the audience as engaged as they were today. like, when certain characters showed up on screen the audience lost their shit and started whooping and clapping and shit. and when tony got stabbed i s2g the entire cinema just. stopped breathing. so yeah, good experience, fun times, loved it, really got me in the mood tbh.
i think i just about covered everything i wanted to say in this post? (and wow, this is a real bit of a giant brain dump. i just started typing anything that came to mind) maybe i’ll add to it if i think of anymore things, because i still feel like i have more to say even though i can’t really say anything right now. if any of you wanna talk, just message me and i’m up to listen lol.
this whole post took me the better half of three hours ( it’s also > 1500 words, and wow, i could’ve used all this time to finish my english assessment oops), so imma just go and do my homework like the good child i am (hah).
tldr; everybody who was ashed is actually alive, original avengers are gonna sacrifice themselves in avengers 4 to save the ashed kids, ragnarok was obsolete, im not happy with people’s deaths, clint might appear in ant-man and the wasp, this movie is really good and i fucking love it, feel free to msg me if u wanna talk and i’ve wasted too much time on this post. (this was still a really long tldr but i ranted for 1000 words so what can you do)
have a good one. (wow, extra aussie today aren’t we?)
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mosaicabstract · 7 years
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my favorite parts of ragnarok (because i need to list them out)
i’m literally sorry y’all i just gotta relive this masterpiece. definitely gonna misquote everything but you get the gist 
“BEHOLD… my stuff.”
taika’s infamous shakewake literally making a cameo
sam niell’s presence 
thor *arrives* loki: *spittake* o shit
“i swear i left him right here.” 
the weirdly flawless selfie thor takes with those girls 
*thor’s hammer smashes all of doctor stranger’s shit* ssssssssorryyyyyy……. 
literally valkyrie’s entire existence 
“anywhere else in the universe i’d be like a billion years old but here…….” *weird goldblum face journey* *loki and thor stare at each other*
“she’s the, starts with a b—” “trash”
“BLARGH! LOKI!”
“i tried to start a revolution but no one showed up… except my mum, and her boyfriend who i hate so…”
loki, mouthing: then you, and me… *makes leaving motion*
“piss off ghost!… he’s friggin’ gone.”
loki’s blank trauma-fueled expression upon seeing the hulk
“sun’s getting real low… sun’s… sun’s getting REAL low buddy… sun’s getting–”
“YES! YES! THAT’S HOW IT FEELS!… sorry, i just love sports.”
the fact that hulk now has a personality and bonded with thor independently of bruce
“oh! very naked… ah, it’s in my mind now…”
the revengers 
“he turned into a snake and he knows i love snakes, so i picked it up to admire it and he turned back into himself and was like “ARRGH IT’S ME”. and he stabbed me. we were eight at the time.”
the orgy leisure ship 
“did she just saw the grand master uses this for orgies?” “yes… don’t touch anything”
“I CAN’T FLY AN ALIEN SPACE SHIP” “use one of your phDs!!!!” 
WHEN BRUCE JUMPS OUT OF THE SHIP TO BECOME THE HULK AND JUST FLOPS ONTO THE BRIDGE 
“IT IS I, YOUR SAVIOR”
WHEN THOR SHOOTS HELA WITH THE MASSIVE BOLT OF LIGHTNING AND FLIES INTO BATTLE WITH IMMIGRANT SONG BLAZING
loki making 0.00001 seconds of eye contact with the tesseract and everyone in the theater screaming 
when the hulk attacks the giant fire dude and everyone’s like “NO DUDE DON’T”
“The damage is not too bad. As long as the foundations are still strong, we can rebuild this place. It will become a haven for all peoples and aliens of the universe……. oh. No those foundations are gone. Sorry." 
“if you were really here i’d hug you.” “i’m here.”
“king of asgard” *thor awkwardly waves to entire population of asgard behind him*
“it’s a tie”
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gammacousin · 2 years
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Susan Banner: *knocking on the bedroom door* “There’s a young lady friend of yours downstairs.”
Teen Bruce Banner: “I don’t have friends.”
Susan Banner: “I’ll buy you two dinner if you take her out.”
Bruce Banner: “No thanks.”
Susan Banner: “She’s cute.”
Bruce Banner: “I’m good.”
Susan Banner: “…she might have a brother.”
Bruce Banner: “I’m not interested.”
Susan Banner: “Okay. Fine….Fine.” *whispering* “She’s got a cute dad waiting outside in the car for her and I want to ask him out but I’m not askin’ him out alone. I really need a wingman so if you could entertain her for about ten minutes tops so I can speak to the hunky man-.”
Bruce Banner: “Right now?!”
Susan Banner: “Right now.”
Bruce Banners: “I’m coming, I’m coming!”
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gammacousin · 2 years
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Ched: “I went to jail once.”
Jennifer: “That was a fake cell at a carnival!”
Ched: “Neither of you bailed me out.”
Bruce: “It was a scam for $5.”
Jennifer: “They freed you in half the time because you wouldn’t shut up.”
Bruce: “No harm done.”
Ched: “I’m still scarzed! Tazartized!
Bruce: “…traumatized?!”
Ched: “That too!”
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gammacousin · 2 years
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Susan Banner: “Sweets, I thought we agreed that on Fridays it’s MY turn to take the trash out.”
Tween Jennifer Walters: “You really like the neighbor.”
Susan Banner: “I’m talking to your cousin!”
Tween Jennifer Walters: “You think romancing by the trash can is going to get you that man?”
Susan Banner: “I…! You haven’t watched enough Hallmark. That’s all.”
Tween Jennifer Walters: “Daddy says Hallmark is trash-.”
Susan Banner: “And we’ve come around again; Bruce, leave the Friday trash for me.”
Teen Bruce Banner: “Got it!”
Tween Jennifer Walters: *to Susan* “Why don’t you just ask him out-.”
Bruce Banner: “Pick a card Jen, it’s been your turn for 4 minutes!”
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gammacousin · 2 years
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Baby Jennifer Walters: “I’m not going! My friends at school told me all about that place, it’s weird!”
Bruce Banner: “Jen, this is the girl of my dreams.”
Jennifer Walters: “So take her to the movies like a normal person.”
Bruce Banner: “Jen! Just do this one thing for me and I’ll do anything you say. Please? PLEASE?!”
Jennifer Walters: “Next year we go trick or treating as Wendy and Peter Pan.”
Bruce Banner: “Whatever.”
Jennifer Walters: “With tights! Or it’s no deal.”
Bruce Banner: “Okay, OKAY! Deal!”
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gammacousin · 2 years
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Jennifer Walters: “Terrified…I was, terrified! Suddenly I was swinging in a vine, up in the air-.”
Morris Walters: “Oh no!”
Jennifer Walters: “…swinging, flying, I was in the air!”
Morris Walters: “Go on.”
Jennifer Walters: “And then we were all surrounded.”
Morris Walters: “Surrounded?!”
Jennifer Walters: “And Daddy, they took my boot!”
Morris Walters: “Those are the boots I bought you.”
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gammacousin · 2 years
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Elaine Walters: “Did you hear that, Morris? Another escapee from the local zoo is headed in our direction.”
Morris Walters: “Shall I bolt the windows and doors?”
Elaine Walters: “Nonsense! It’s probably another relative. Let’s set an additional placement for dinner.”
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gammacousin · 2 years
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Morgan Stark: *answering a Skype call* “I’d rather not do this now.”
Skaar: “Yeah me too.”
Morgan: “…do you have a towel or something you can put on- Why did you hate your father, give me an honest answer.”
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