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#humans would fuck anything tbh
soulchjer · 8 months
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No one talked about it, or at least i didn't saw it.
"Yup, I can take that."
(For all the monster fuckers in this app, and for me.)
There is something about humans that makes us quite simple, we really have a strange addiction to anything that could kill us.
That is a definition of how we can describe in *very* summary how we interact with aliens.
Especially Dan, he is one of the space idiots that humans would describe as a monster fucker.
Indeed, Dan could go after anyone who could break him in half.
...
Jia is a small and furry looking alien, he had sat next to the human Dan today and was talking to him for a while, today was his first interaction with the human and despite all the myths and legends around humans, Dan is very nice!
Jia was going to continue talking, but Dan made him stay quiet for a second.
Dan stared in perplexity at one of the new recruits, a kuaghan, a type of large alien, a terrifying-looking but gentle and large-sized predator. Jia thought that perhaps the human was scared, but he never thought that the human Dan had actually thought otherwise.
Dan: Oh my god... how tall is he? No, do they have a specific genre? Jia, tell me, do you know him, can you introduce him to me?...Wow, is huge, I can take it, barely... mhn, I'm sure..." He heard Dan murmur at the end.
Jia was dumbfounded, the little alien didn't knew the new recruit, but before he even managed to say a thing, Dan had already dragged him to meet this new recruit.
The little alien was scared! Did Dan take his new recruit as a threat?! It just can't be! He want to take him in a fight?! He has to prevent the new recruit and the human from getting hurt!
...
Dan: You're new, right? Hello, my name is Dan, I'm thirty-one this year, I'm single, I got a house in my planet and I have a job here, I got a lot of savings...
The alien hesitated but nodded in response and Dan stuck to him like a tick. Jia watched without words as that predator feared by the aliens acted just as surprised as he was at the human's approach.
Jia witnessed how the kuaghan was not only treated quite well by the human, but was also able to specifically smell the hormones released by the human when it approached the kuaghan.
The Kuaghan have a reproductive method similar to that of penguins according to the human Dan, the more beautiful the stones, the more impressed their partners will be.
Dan gave every gemstone he could find to the new recruit, earning surprised looks from everyone.
No one dares get too close to the Kuaghan, only Dan seems eager to talk to him, but this recruit knew specifically why he was giving him stones.
Jia only found out when human Dan told him.
The kuaghan even... started to get shy every time the human approached?!
Jia felt like his jaw might drop to the ground.
...Human Dan... Is Human Dan trying to court a predator twice his size?! and is it working?!
Jia's surprise could not grow any more when he found the Kuaghan leaving the human Dan's room. When the new recruit saw him, he ran away embarrassed.
Dan greeted him from inside his room, shaking and smiling with weak legs, only a fool wouldn't know what had happened in there, the aroma of the two was permeated in the room.
The little furry alien was finally able to understand the meaning of the human's murmurs.
Of course you said you could take him, but not in a fight!
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inkykeiji · 5 months
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Sukuna calling you his little pet. 🥰
HEHEHE sukuna can call me whatever he wants to <3 he can even put me in a pretty lil cage if he wants to <3 i’ll lick n lap at his feet and eat out of bowls on the floor if he wants me to <3 i’ll nap on his toes and curl around his calves while he’s working if he’ll let me <3 i’ll trot around after him on a pretty pink leash embellished with tiny crystals that’s hooked onto an equally sparkly and bejewelled collar with his kanji engraved in a silver heart tag resting so delicately against my clavicle if he so desires <333 whatever he wants, whenever he wants it, wherever he wants it, it’s his <3
i just want to be his pretty, stupid, pathetic lil baby <3 useless at literally everything except serving my master <3
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themthistles · 1 year
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not even joking i would kill for some kind of beyond evil sequel focusing on jihwa. it doesn't even have to be a full time drama. a mini-series, a movie, anything is fine i just need it
#she has so much potential as a character but the show just didn't. have. time for her#and i'm always sad about it#jwds don't need to be there like they can be referenced or make a guest appearance idc#jihwa works in a violent crimes unit#you're telling me there can't be a compelling story about a woman with decades of unpacked trauma#encountering worst of humanity everyday but desperately trying to believe in the goodness of it and through it in the goodness of self#you're telling me we can't have an arc of her finally forgiving herself for leaving for doubting for wanting more for herself#there's so much that can be explored#literally do none of you ever think about you're better than me you're all better than me i hope jeongje did it i'm a monster right#do you never think about i'm sorry but what i wanted was to run away not to be consumed by your desires#do you never head in hands over i never got in your way once i let you do whatever you wanted and now you're telling me not to cross over#she's always delivering lines of all time and for what#actually i take it back#dongsik can be there#series focusing on jh&ds's relationship would slap#also kim shinrok and shin hakyun as leads#their sheer acting power alone would blast brain outta my skull please and thank you#have not had interest in watching anything recently beyond evil let me fucking go let me care about something else PLEASE#promise of upcoming shim nayeon thriller drama with two female leads is the only thing keeping me afloat tbh#whenever that happens
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fleshdyke · 9 months
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absnskaisgbsj
#lost literally one of the best friendships of my life yesterday#i mean it’s been gone for a while i just never had the courage to talk to them about it until yesterday. and that basically confirmed it tbh#they didn’t say i did anything wrong but they also didn’t not say i did anything wrong and i’m v paranoid that i did do smth wrong#like i dont want to talk bad abt any of them bc genuinely i had so much fun with these people and im so glad i got to know them#like when i talked to them they were very dry ig? like not like their usual self at all even when talking to someone they dont know#definitely sounded like they were talking to someone they hated. im trying to tell myself taht its just my anxiety but ummm yeah idk i think#im actually right this time#idk. it just sucks man. im trying to think of what i did wrong bc i just dont know what happened#i think im overanalyzing every interaction i can remember having with these ppl bc i dont even want to entertain the idea that they might#have been bad people all along. i dont want to think that and i dont but idk it feels like an observation about myself that ive made from#the outside in yk. like half of me is feeling the emotional response and the other half is just watching from the outside like im someone#else. and i know this is a normal human thing but its just always weird yk#and then theres the whole awful thing of seeing shit that they would find funny or that reminds me of them. and i also dont know what im#supposed to do when school starts back up again bc we took a lot of the same classes and if i end up in a class with them idk if im supposed#to say hi or just pretend they dont exist or not and i dont want to make the wrong decision so they hate me even more yk#whatever man. it fucking sucks but life goes on. my dog is just chilling in my room rn and i’ll always have her and tia and my brother#rambles#vent
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femme-malewife · 1 year
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Writing my own experiences is honestly such a trip...
#like even though they're my OWN experiences it doesnt feel REAL#like wow how fake#its so weird bc im simply basing it off of what happened to me and how i deal with it#but then i worry that people find it unrealistic#or they'll see even just the fic and tags without reading it and ridicule it for being written#im really thinking abt trying therapy again tbh. but finding time between work and the fact i cannot drive...#idk. i really truly dont....#im falling apart. the days are going by and im having less and less of a will to continue. im trying to find healthy#outlets for coping but then anxiety shoots through the roof#it doesnt help that the first two times i was in therapy it made everything worse#the first was 100% against my will bc of a simple misunderstanding blown way out of proportion at my college#and the 2nd was me p much being forced into it after i tried killing myself and ended up in the hospital lol#i tried overdosing. it hurts the stomach more than anything tbh.#the therapist just kept staring at me. like never taking her eyes off of me and kept asking how i felt#i felt more like a fucking test subject tbh. she also didnt sound Human. her tone was like i was just another patient#nothing more than routine. and she didnt Listen to what i said. then i was charged way too much despite being told it would be free#so i dropped out lol#anyway i got way off topic. um what was this abt#oh yeah my fear of fic venting bc im terrified of being ridiculed . yeah yeah yeah.
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kdramacrybaby · 1 year
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THERE’S TWO OF THEM?!?!
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sonic the hedgehog tumblr dashboard simulator
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💠 extremegayr Follow
got held up in traffic today cause some noob couldnt drive the fucking loop-de-loop. lmfao fucking coward
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🎛 420zone Follow
ok but robotnik's kind of a dilf tho
🌫 wispgender Follow
he's literally a war criminal can we NOT do this tumblr
🎛 420zone Follow
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📰 its-no-use Follow
@wispgender dont u literally simp for nominatus like who is one to talk
🌫 wispgender Follow
NOMINATUS ISN'T REAL????
🛜 viralsensation-destructorofworlds Follow
that you know of
🌫 wispgender Follow
what
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🔷 sonicinthewild
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43,834 notes
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☣️ lineinthesand Follow
saw sonic the hedgehog irl once. he showed up at my village, released 30 feral pickys in the town hall, paid the ice cream vendor roughly a thousand rings for a single chili dog, told me not to waste my life worrying about the little things, and then caused a fucking tornado
🧿 spiralhillspindash Follow
ok and??? you're not special
☣️ lineinthesand Follow
THIS WAS A PERSONAL POST GO AWAAAAY
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🌠 chaoinspace2electricboogaloo
sucks that sticks the badger hates all technology you know she would do NUMBERS on here
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☸️ r0u3e Follow
being an islander be like "are those the kind of eggsplosions i should worry about or the kind of eggsplosions that are gonna repair our crops, fix the economy, and bring my dead grandma back to life"
🌁 eggpawnkindathicctho Follow
being a continenter be like "oh great what primordial diety has risen from the grave to block traffic and fight a 15yo today"
🥭 chao-official
being a chao be like "chao chao chao chao chao"
🌁 eggpawnkindathicctho Follow
you said it my mans
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🏵 sprinkles-the-chao Follow
hold on if sonic the hedgehog is jewish then how is he santa claus
🤖 e123-omegaverse Follow
dont question him
85,628 notes
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☣️ sparkygoboom Follow
hey guys real question are human/mobian relationships problematic
💠 extremegayr Follow
op is about to start the anthro church schism of the fifteenth year all over again
🛞 mobotropolis Follow
ok but in all seriousness did your mom never teach you that part of history
🎢 marxiobros Follow
someone doesn't know about the united federations public school system
🛞 mobotropolis Follow
what the fuck is a public school
⏭️ drowningmusic Follow
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⚄ paradoxprism Follow
are we gonna talk about op's chaos radiation fetish
💠 extremegayr Follow
OP'S WHAT NOW
🏞 mobiancrossing Follow
ok but am i the only one who thinks that the public school system would be a good idea if handled right? like i know it's traditional to learn from your parents and then experience the world on our own from the ages of 7-13 but like combining all our knowledge and learning together doesnt seem like a bad idea
☠️ fabian-vane-number-1-hater Follow
bitch that's what the internet is for
🌅 s0leanna-apple-barrell
yeah where else am i gonna learn to make infinite chaos emeralds
❇️ freesurge Follow
"infinite chaos emeralds" that's called the phantom ruby
🏳️‍🌈 rainbowwispforgayrights Follow
everybody on this site has brain damage
❇️ freesurge Follow
yeah. from the radiation
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🐸 froggysfriend
caught this today
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🏝 digginginthegroundfortubers
if anything happens to this blog i genuinely hope eggman blows us all up as punishment
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🐊 teamchaotixofficial
Hey guys! Sorry to do this again but rent's a little tight this month :( If we've ever solved a case for you guys or made you guys smile, please consider sending a ko-fi our way! we just need a few rings to get through the month <3
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🖼 give-the-koco-a-gun Follow
do we ever talk about that time the sky turned blood-red and shadow the hedgehog's demon dad descended from on high to murder us all and we only barely survived
❤️‍🔥 songoose4evr Follow
shadow fixed it it's fine
🎮 n0cturnity
yeah that was like twelve apocalypses ago move on
🎆 robotniksbignaturals Follow
kinda wanted to bang black doom tbh
🖼 give-the-koco-a-gun Follow
THE DEVIL???? FROM THE BIBLE????
🎆 robotniksbignaturals Follow
yeah. move over gayboy i'm boutta be shadow's new dad
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🗑️ berrybarry
starting a conspiracy that time hasnt moved since 2006
🗑️ berrybarry
why the fuck was i shadowbanned after posting this
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🤡 clownfinite Follow
tfw you finally save up enough rings for ice cream and you go outside and get hit by swatbot pieces and the rings just go fuckin everywhere
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🔷 sonicinthewild
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34,452 notes
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🌌 h-o-l-o-l-y-n-x
so did y'all see that genesis wave or was it just me
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🆙 planetsgiantcrack Follow
the virgin tweeter "if you use a bad word in the same tweet as the word 'cream' you get obliterated off the site" vs this chad site of "i want to put knuckles back in a microwave"
💟 presidentyaoi Follow
BACK????
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⬜️ chao-and-wisps-4-ever-so-cute-2 Follow
ok posting my first fanart to this site pls be nice! <3
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🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
why does tails look like he's always about to say "it fucken WIMDY"
🦊 miles-prower-official
Hello, @emeraldfwuitgummy!
I actually quote that image on a constant basis! Sonic thinks it's hilarious every time. He's quite the fan of memes, and it's nice to get a laugh out of him!
Formally,
Dr. Miles "Tails" Prower, PHD
🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
SO WAS ANYONE GOING TO TELL ME THAT TAILS WAS ON THIS FUCKING SITE OR--
🏅 iwishhumanswerereal Follow
do. do you not know he created tailblr. dude it's in the name lmao
🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
he
WHAT
🍭 milfwisp Follow
didn't eggman invent this site???
🪫 veganswatbot
THE EGG ABANDONED SCRAMBLR IN ITS TIME OF NEED AND THE FOX RAISED US FROM THE ASHES. YOU WILL NOT DISRESPECT HIM
🦊 miles-prower-official
Hello, @milfwisp and @veganswatbot!
Very good question! This site was Eggman's until I ate his bones. Thank you for engaging! :D
Formally,
Dr. Miles "Tails" Prower, PHD
🌔 emeraldfwuitgummy Follow
YOU
WHAT
🌭 sonicsays
what's not clicking
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ko-eko-ev-go-ms · 2 months
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It continues to trip me up how much human brains are just weird organic computers
#thoughts#oni talks#oni vents#additionally wild that the easiest ways for me to explain brain stuff are generally in computer or video game terms despite the fact I’m#notoriously awful with computers (and to a lesser extent video games) although I won’t if my natural inclination would be different if I#didn’t have trauma related to computers/if maybe it’s the classic adhd interest based learning difference? unknown tbh#I still really wanna go to school to study people but academics is fucked as hell so making that work will be a personal hell for me#but also I have so many theories and data I can’t do anything super tangible with coz I’m not in an academic setting so even if i wanted to#talk about stuff and work on it no one would take me seriously w/o that academic background no matter how much effort I’d put in learning it#on my own for my entire life at this point it won’t matter if it’s not on some level acknowledged by an academic system I despise tbh#it’s one of those things that makes me miss my dad coz we used to commiserate together about these sorts of things tho he made it work far#better than I have been able to. i wish i could ask him science questions again.#anyway human brains are so fascinating but also I really wish I was better at explaining myself analysis of people I feel like I’m good#enough at this point to be like partway understood coz I’ve done so much practice on my own coz I tend to rehearse explanations ahead of tim#but its still often misunderstood or misconstrued & it’s understandable a lot of the time coz like most other people aren’t spending a ton#of their free time thinking about and researching how people work/analyzing those around them+themselves vs me whose been doing since like#I dont remember the exact time but I do remember being really young & making the conscious decision to study & analyze my family for example#so that I could be helpful & translate their words to each other better + ppl often don’t see things about themselves that others do#also forever thinking about the human brain/experience in relation to the sims & video game commands lmao#currently trying to explain save states in the human brain to ppl but no one knows wtf I’m talking about#& researching academic terms that are close to what I want doesn’t necessarily work if there’s no academic term for what I’m talking about#hence wanting to do the research myself coz sometimes it feels like there’s all this stuff that’s obvious to me but no one else?? from what#I’ve seen in recent studies they are only starting to scratch the surface of stuff I’ve already known sometimes? other stuff is older & it’s#VERY gratifying when it’s stuff I’ve known but not been listened to about & it actually gets the proper recognition#though getting ppl to actually listen/take what I say seriously is its own journey & I have to be careful myself bc I’m human so my own#understanding/data is constantly updating + I have storage issues so finding the data I have in my brain is its own struggle sometimes#every version of me is interested in people & I think that’s neat even if other people don’t understand that concept#sometimes I feel like an alien/robot whose sole task is just to study & support humanity & it’s very weird tbh
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My sixth grade teacher read us a story where someone got stomped to death by a moose (the only other thing i remember about the story was learning about snow blindness) and I’m just supposed to not be scared of moose? I think I’m more scared of moose than I am of grizzly bears. There are guides about how you can survive grizzly bears and how not to set them off and it’s pretty straightforward. Sure, it might not always work, but I’ve usually been ignored by grizzly bears. Moose have the anxiety of a prey animal though, even if most of the predators that went after American megafauna went extinct several thousand years ago. They still have predators, yeah, but adults are basically tanks that can easily handle different types of terrain. They are huge and they aren’t as cocky. They are also a bit less predictable. I don’t hate moose, and I’ve encountered more of them than i have grizzly bears (more black bears than both combined though, but they are fairly easy to exist around without panicking imo) but the moose scare me more. And the mom ones are more defensive than normal and male ones get all heated when they’re horny and if I’m not completely terrified around bears (most, I’m not going anywhere near polar bears if I can help it) because I listen to safety guides and I know all I can do is try to avoid either of us getting aggressive, I should probably be okay around moose, right? I mean, I listen to the advice about them and I’m careful, but no. Your sixth grade teacher reads a book where a guy gets trampled into some pile of viscera and you aren’t taking anxiety medication yet and suddenly you’re probably traumatized and are now scared of moose for life, and in a way that you aren’t scared of a lot of other animals. It doesn’t help that they can be a bit less predictable than bears and that the prion disease makes them a mess. I don’t really have anything against moose, I wouldn’t want to hurt one, but I’m also terrified of them in a way that I’m not scared of many other animals. Most of the other animals I’m scared of were also ones I learned something traumatizing about before I was medicated, but moose are the ones I run into most (aside from rodents but for some reason they aren’t as scary? Probably because the scary part isn’t the rodent themselves, but the haunta virus) so it feels like the most pressing one. I’ll be hiking (or sometimes just existing outside of town) and then a moose will show up and the people I’m with will be like “woah! Cool! Don’t you want to take a picture? You do photography” and I’m shaking a little because nope! I am not getting closer to the moose. I’m aware that they are 30ft away, that doesn’t mean that I’m not still scared.
#emma posts#not sure why the moose thing fucked me up so bad tbh#most of the living things that scared me for life at that time were diseases#part of it is how relaxed a lot of other people are around the animals#like. don’t you understand? that is a creature of terrifying power! (me being totally normal about moose)#or as Europeans would call them. elk.#I’m more chill about draft horses and I’ve actually had one step on me fr#it was fine. I was very small and they were backing out of the stable#and I think they felt something weird under their hoof because they didn’t step hard enough to break anything#and it was only the front of my foot#I’m good with horses though. it’s like anxiety disorder to anxiety disorder communication#and sure. a lot of wild animals around human size could kill me. but the other ones around here I’ve just been around more I guess#I haven’t actually seen a mountain lion in the wild though so that would be tense and interesting. if there are any animals I know how to#read it’s cats. I am also usually interacting with significantly smaller ones. and they leave scratches on accident#mountain lions are skittish and I can read cats but I wouldn’t want to fight one or anything#all of this and I’m still the most scared of moose 🤦‍♀️#me around other local wildlife: these are wild animals and you have to behave properly around each species#me when I see moose: I am in fear and trying very hard to not get any attention at all#that book really did just fuck me up about that species for life wtf#and I’m not about to do exposure therapy with a moose! how would that even happen?!#even bison I’m like ‘they could totally kill me but all you can do is be normal about this’#as in. normal for people who know animals and don’t want to piss them off and die. not whatever the selfies at Yellowstone people are doing
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titlishu · 4 months
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my only wish in life is to be a fictional character
#its kinda insane but like. i already dont feel real. like i havent felt real since a long time and LISTEN#if i was a fictional character. it would make so much sense. ykwim.#like im not Sad im nust. not anything atp. im nothing BUT if i was a fictional character. it would make so much sense#also like??? imagine being percieved by people you have never met. imagine being written. imagine art being made of you.#like nit just the ego boost but ive been thinking about how like. if these characters were real it would defest the whole purpose of them#and all of this love we have for them will always be unknown to them#but like the thought of wanting to be a fictional character in someones story is so. like i#deep DEEP yearning to be a character. just not real. im not even kidding the whole of december and now january this is all#ive wanted#like at first i was like. i dont feel real then it pipelined to i wish i wasnt real to i wish i was a fictional character who's story has#been written already. ykwim?#i may sound crazy rn but i dont CARE i had to get this out#like im sick of being. an author and not the character. im sick of being the creator and not the creation. yk?#is this how god feels sometimes#man...#i also have Noticed that sometimes i talk about human beings as if I'm not one#like i think abiut how interesting humans are and i say it like im an alien that has just made contact w earth#LIKE most times i feel like im not real and it really is like. what the fuck. where am i supposed to be then. yk?#like i dont feel. misplaced but i also dont have a place here. i dont belong anywhere tbh#like. an unwritten future. author unknown. a letter without an address or purpose#this is so. like i dont know how else to say it and get it out there but i just had to cause i#cant just keep Thinking About it by myself ik noones gonna read this but atleast#like if its. written or typed out then it would be more real. more of a record of this. even though my existence (or lack thereof) is#already proif enough#sigh#titli tag#ishworry
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stormtide-leviathan · 6 months
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i love making ttrpg characters that are so fucked up
#najeela papadapoulos isn't particularly fucked up cause she was my first but has slowly been growing more so#i just need to embrace her mad scientist side more without losing her freedom fighter side#making my dm name important scientific inventions she's involved in making in his long-term world after 'papadapoulos' is fucked up at leas#reave's fucked up so much. she crawls around on the ceiling and snatches people off the ground#with tentacles that unfurl from her stiched up mouth. and then pulverizes them with her greatsword. there's a reason she's called a demon#moirara soranath had a fucked up past but otherwise was pretty normal#the psychic tentacle warlock who was gonna take over her body if i needed a backup character would balance it out if i'd played her tho#isha mondal's fucked up nice and good. she has all kinds of weird-ass freaky contracts and a whole whole lot of mental issues#on account of murdering her sister and deeply repressing it so she breaks down at any reminder#red's not that fucked up tbh. by human standards sure absolutely but not by werewolf standards. she's just a silly goofy guy#which is funny since her full name is red-with-blood but that's just how werewolves are in that game#she did decapitate an enemy werewolf in a single axe-swing and take its head as a trophy. werewolves are BEEFY so credit where credit is du#donna holliday's also fucked up by human standards but by vampire standards she's downright nice. she only eats people who are really shitt#she was surrounded by humans admittedly but more of the mosnter-hunter type than normal humans so still a higher fuckedupedness bar#morgan who i just played today is very fucked up. he hears otherworldly whispers in his mind teaching him arcane secrets#and egging him on to combust people with his mind. which really stands out in a world that until YESTERDAY was just normal earth#so anything supernatural at all is already a baseline level of fucked up#ttrpg tag#original post
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godzexperiment · 8 months
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me with the concept of the variation of god that's floating in my head+major thoughts about nix's connection to his maker and how it also shapes how he'd be towards other gods etc im so tempted to put an starter up just for the possible vibes (even if i dont cave entirely just something about an little indulgence like another layer of character development or something)
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callilouv · 11 months
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overanalyzing everything i do would solve 99.99% of my problems methinks
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endlessthxxghts · 23 days
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Best I Ever Had
Jackson!Joel Miller x afab!reader | w/c: 2.3k
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Summary: Someone tries to hit on you on your night out with Joel, insulting your man in the process, and oh you don't like that. You blow off some steam in more ways than one.
Content/Warnings: Reader is able-bodied, no physical descriptions. Feminine perception of reader and feminine pet names (Joel calls you mama and babygirl), but no pronouns used. Reader's a fucking badass and can hold their own fights (probably Joel's too, tbh). Slight description of reader getting physical/violent with another person (bby has some anger issues). Established relationship. Implied age gap (exact number unspecified). A bit of insecure Joel. 18+ MDNI! Dom!reader !! Sub!Joel !!!! P in V unprotected. Slight breeding kink (reader just likes being filled, no children talk). Joel has a fast refractory period (don't think too much on it, just enjoy). Definitely some overstimulation. Cockwarming. Riding..straddling.. Teasing. Begging. Edging. Sloppy making out. Multiple orgasms. Please let me know if there’s anything I missed that should be up here!
A/N: Some get post-nut clarity, but I get post-nut lust. This was the product of that. Hope you enjoy, my angels. Thank you @honeyedmiller for beta’ing 🩶 also I picture both game Joel or hbo Joel, so it’s entirely up to you what you wanna visualize ;)
masterlist | updates blog
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It was a busy night at the Tipsy Bison. Everyone was out. Everyone was mingling, getting to know each other. As if it wasn’t a small town already, but hey, it wouldn’t hurt to make sure you really knew the people living in this little forever-town. 
Except, Joel was not one to mingle—especially on nights like tonight. Tommy insisted that he come, it’ll be nice, he tried to reason. 
He eventually agreed. Not because of Tommy, though, but because of you. 
You knew Joel was a certified grump, through and through. And you love Joel, you really do. But the post-apocalyptic world caused you to react differently than your man. Yeah, you’ve become tougher, harder to break, harder to trust. However, you crave any sense of normalcy you can find. So on occasion, you like to go out and get to know the people of the town. You like human interaction. 
And when they say opposites attract, the saying couldn’t have been more true. Joel was absolutely smitten the day he met you. It’s been a long time coming between you two—with his vulnerability, or lack thereof, and his initial unwillingness to accept that he can finally relax and unclench his jaw—but you’re together now, stronger than ever, and everything is worth it. 
You are worth it. 
Which is exactly why all you needed was to give one raise of your brow during his protesting before Joel promptly shuts his lips and takes a defeated breath, fixing his answer to Tommy. “Oh, hell. Alright, brother, we’ll be there.” 
And to be quite honest, Joel would go as far to say that tonight’s little get together was actually decent for once. That is, until he sees you waiting on the bartender for his beer and your old-fashioned, and a man—a boy—approaches you. 
“Hey,” you heard a voice beside you say. Not realizing it was meant for you, your attention stays on the bartender. Still, the voice persists. “I was thinking, uh-” you look at the guy then, eyes staring him down in a way he perceives as a challenge. 
He clears his throat. “I was thinking I could buy you a drink?” 
“No, I’m good,” you say shortly. The bartender comes up to you, pulling you away from the guy’s feeble attempt at flirting. You tell the bartender your order, and before you can take another moment to speak, the guy pipes up. 
“Put it on my tab,” he smirks triumphantly, taking a closer step to you. 
You pull yourself away on instinct— out of disgust, but your eyes stay trained on his gaze. You’re pissed, but this naïve little boy has no idea. Both of what you're capable of and what the older man, your older man, across the bar is capable of. 
“Thanks,” you smile, “my boyfriend’s gonna appreciate the free drink,” you tell the guy, turning to Joel and giving him a sweet smile. You’ve been feeling his stare the second this waste of space walked up to you.
Joel would pounce if you told him to. He knows you can handle yourself, though, and you confirm it through that pretty smile you flash him. He can’t deny the way his cock twitches at the way this scene is unfolding. Part of him is begging for the guy to try something more, to test you—to unleash you. 
The guy scoffs the second he sees Joel. “That old man is your boyfriend? Come on, baby,” his hand reaches for the crook of your elbow. “You can do so much better than that,” he taunts. 
And that was the something more you needed. Immediately your hand takes hold of his wrist, twisting the man to face the bar in a rough fashion as you lean him over the bar counter, his arm twisted behind his back, shoulder ready to snap out of his socket with the tiniest of movements. 
“Wanna say that again?” You seethe, knocking the breath from his lungs as you push him into the wooden counter. 
“I said—” 
He’s cut off by his own high-pitched scream. You push his arm higher, a sharp pain shooting through every nerve center in the guy’s arm. 
“Sweetheart,” a southern twang says softly, but it’s not your man. Tommy. “I know he probably deserves it, darlin’, but it’s not worth it,” he says, not wanting to aggravate you more. Everyone knows not to test you. 
Well, apparently not everyone. 
You roll your eyes, knowing Tommy’s just trying to keep up the liveliness of tonight. “Fine,” you mutter. Leaning closer into the guy, you whisper into his ear. “Talk about my fuckin’ man like that again, and I’ll snap your shoulder so fuckin’ hard, Jackson’s doctors won’t even know what to do with ya. Ya hear me?” You’re not from the South, and before the outbreak, you’ve never even been. But get angry enough, and Joel’s twang possesses you.
You release the crying boy with a shove, and you back up, wanting to pull yourself away from the situation. Your back is met with something hard, and immediately you know who it is. You soften in his touch as his arms immediately wrap around your waist. “You alright, babygirl?” Joel rasps in your ear. You can feel his fucking hard-on pressed against your back. 
The guy looks at you and Joel, chest still heaving as his face turns into disgust, a fuck you muttered under his breath, an aftertaste of jealousy on his lips. 
Smiling wildly at the guy in front of you, you snake your hand up to wrap around Joel’s jaw before you turn your head back and tilt your head up, pulling Joel into an open-mouthed kiss, your tongue pushing into his mouth as he eagerly sucks it, lapping up your spit. He groans into you, his arms pulling you impossibly tighter into him. 
You pull away with a harsh nip to his lip, feeding off the little whimper Joel lets out. “Baby,” he whines. 
You look back to the guy, and the silent audience you’ve accumulated. “Come on, cowboy,” you breathe. “I’m not done with you.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he replies happily, spinning you two around and walking out with you still pressed against him. 
The bar stays quiet after a beat. Tommy’s hand slaps the bar counter before he speaks. “Well. Get the music back going unless y’all wanna hear ‘em goin’ at it all night!” The bar roars in laughter, the music coming back to life. 
Before returning back to Maria, Tommy turns to the guy. “You. Out.” 
He scrambles without looking back.
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“Oh my God, baby.”
“Fuck— I- I can’t, baby, I can’t hold it much longer, baby, I need to come.”
“Just one more second, baby.”
“Mama, please,” he cries out, his head lolling from side to side on his sweat-soaked pillow as you grind your hips into his pelvis, lifting yourself on and off him every other moment. His hands hold onto your hips, not in a way to control your movement but to simply feel you. 
“Oh, come on, be a good boy for me, baby,” you moan, your hand fixing itself onto his jaw to make him look at you. “Just wanna feel you twitch inside me a little bit more ‘fore you make a mess inside me, okay?”
“Oh, fuck— yes, yes, mama, yes, okay,” he rambles, trying his hardest to breathe through the pleasurable pain as you take and take and take. 
A particular grind sends your back arching, his pubes soaked in your arousal nudging perfectly against your clit, sending an electric pulse up your spine. You cry out in ecstasy, your climax hitting you instantly. “Oh fuck, oh shit- fuckfuckfuck, baby, come with me— come inside me, baby, fucking fill me,” you nearly scream, hoping that boy can hear you now. 
“Shit, baby, oh my God- fuck- I’m coming, mama, holy fuck- I-” he stutters, his thigh muscles shaking underneath you as you bounce on him through his climax, the mix of his spend with yours bouncing lewdly across the walls of your shared bedroom. 
Your hips come to a slow but never stop, your chest heaving as you lean down to bring your lips to Joel. You let them ghost across his lips, but you don’t let them touch. He knows better not to chase it, not yet, anyway. He can still feel you fuming. 
You can do so much better than that.
“Can you fucking believe him?” You whisper against his lips, barely audible yet fucking scary nonetheless. 
Joel thinks that boy is right, deep down. Even though he’d never want you to leave him, and you’d never want him to leave you. Joel thinks that there’s a crumb of moral rightness in that statement. But he keeps that to himself. 
Nevertheless, you know Joel like the back of your hand. He doesn’t need to utter a lick of anything to you. You already know what he’s thinking. 
“Joel,” you say again. “I asked you a question.”
All questions must be answered. 
Fuck. 
“Y-yeah, baby,” he rumbles, too distracted by the comments from the bar, but mainly still caught up in the way his softening come-covered cock is still nestled inside of you. 
You sit up now. A whine leaves his throat at the movement. “So you do believe him?” 
Only then does he realize what he said. His eyes shoot up to yours. “W-wait, no, baby, ‘m sorry, no. No, I don’t believe him, baby,” he panics. 
You quirk your eyebrow at him. 
“The fuckin’ audacity on ‘em,” he adds for good measure. 
You’re silent for a beat. Then—
“You’re lying.”
Joel’s heart starts to race. “No, baby. Please. Mama, I’m not lyin’,” he tries. 
Still straddling his hips, you grab onto his bicep, pulling upward. He gets the hint and sits up. He’s still inside you, his cock slowly growing to full mast again the longer you sit here. 
You’re face to face now. His arms are loosely wrapped around your waist, your arms tightly around his neck.
“Look me in my eye,” you whisper, “and tell me you’re the best I ever had.”
Joel audibly gulps. 
Slow— so slow, your hips begin to move again. A breathy little moan escapes your mouth, and he lunges forward for you, his tongue dancing along the tip of yours, swallowing your breath. You allow it. 
“Tell me,” you groan into his mouth, practically swallowing his tongue as you shallowly bounce yourself on him. 
“Baby,” he whines, getting lost in this dance of heat and sweat he’s become utterly addicted to. 
You break yourself away from his mouth, not allowing him the option to reach for you anymore. He pulls back, eyes wild and sad. His mouth turned down into a literal pout. 
“My poor baby,” you mutter. “Tell me what I wanna hear,” you say again. “Or you’re not getting my lips nor are you coming for the rest of the night,” you tell him, switching back into your grinding motion to stimulate your sensitive bud, letting him feel the way your pussy flutters around him. 
“Baby,” he begs again as you grind, your warmth forcing him to another climax. Please don’t make me say it, he’s trying to convince you. 
Your fingers find their home at the base of his salt and pepper curls, tugging them in warning. “Tell. Me.”
You force his body down to lay flat on the bed again, towering over him, allowing your body the space to lift yourself off of him, only his tip inside of you. He takes a sharp breath in, knowing what’s coming. 
You drop yourself down on him, fucking yourself on his cock at a bruising pace. You grab his hands and drag them up to your chest, wrapping his thick digits around you encouraging him to squeeze. 
“Fuck- mama, I’m gonna—”
“No the fuck you’re not, baby,” you moan, lost in the pleasure but still rightfully in charge. “Swear to God, Joel, gonna leave you fucking swollen and pulsing for a fucking week— oh fuck,” you cut yourself off, a familiar sensation building at the base of your spine, sending you convulsing around his length yet again. 
Joel’s eyes clamp shut, finally giving into your request so he can finally let go. “I— shit, I’m the—” a rugged moan forces itself out, “—the best you ever had, mama, please, the fuckin’ best, baby,” he cries out, his hips bucking up into you as he covers every inch of you with his spend. 
“Shit,” you moan, his words affecting you a lot more than you anticipated, your hips doing overtime, unable to find it within you to stop even as he begins to soften. “Yes, fuck, that’s my boy, shit—” you breathe, “—the fucking best, always make me feel so fucking good, baby.”
His hands finally use their strength, trying his best to slow you with ease, his nerves reaching the point of painful overstimulation. “Alright, baby, alright,” he winces. 
Recognizing his limits, you immediately begin to slow, lowering yourself onto his heaving chest. You let him slip out of you this time, giving him an actual break. “I’m sorry,” you whisper into his chest. 
“For what, baby?” Joel responds with a kiss into your head.
“Did I go too far?”
He couldn’t help the belly laugh that shakes the both of you. You immediately sit back up, your hands on his chest to keep your limp body up. “What?” you glare at him.
“Too far? Which part, darlin’? Nearly breakin’ that guy’s shoulder or my dick?”
A belly laugh erupts out of you this time. Taking a moment to compose yourself, you respond. “...Both.”
“Mmm…” Joel puts on a fake thinking face. “Maybe to the former, but not at all to the latter,” he hums, his hands finding the back of your head to pull you in for a chaste kiss. 
You hum into his lips, a smile stretching across your cheeks. 
Resting your head on his chest, you let a few moments pass before you speak again. “Tommy’s not gonna invite us to another one of those, huh?” 
“Probably not, mama,” he smiles. “Probably not.”
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I’d love to hear what you think!! Any feedback or interactions with you all truly brightens my day. So so so much love for you all. Thank you for being here 🩶
I cannot get myself to write for Joel or for TLOU without mentioning the horrors occurring in Palestine. Please check out the links in my navigation + bio to learn about the situation in Palestine and also learn about some ways in which you can help🇵🇸. Reading and interacting with those links takes 5 minutes of your time at the bare minimum.
graphics by @saradika-graphics (middle divider in fic by me)
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comfyymoon · 1 year
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the way we ignore each other in school as if we didn't work together for two weeks for school production, didn't have conversations roasting the play's dancers, didn't talk about life and hope and future at night, don't have similar interests, morals and knowledge. beautiful.
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moki-dokie · 6 months
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been seeing some stuff on blue eye samurai and big yikes to nearly everyone pushing extremely western ideals onto these characters.
this is early edo period. 1600s. the japan you know now did not exist yet.
yall. please. there was NO concept of sexuality in pre-modern japan. that came with both the influx of christianity and western influence very very late in history. like, mid-1800s. (yes, there was christianity pre-1800s but it was not a widespread idea yet and wouldn't be until about the 1800s since, y'know, missionaries were routinely murdered before then)
"so and so is either bi and hasn't figured it out yet or..." no. that isn't how it worked then. nobody gave a shit what was between your legs. anyone could be attracted to anyone else. it was a little more common for male homosexual relationships to be between an adult and younger male - like many other places around the world - but two adult men could bang and love each other just as easily. relationships between women were quite common - especially since so many men were often away at war. there's tons of pornographic prints from the time depicting all manner of fun queer relationships. sex itself had absolutely no moral assignment to it. good sex was good health. it didn't matter who with. (well, social class/caste mattered more than anything else tbh but that didn't stop upper and lower class from fucking.) that isn't to say people didn't have preferences. of course they did. that is human nature. preferences arose more from physical appearance, caste, and circumstances with gender being about the last thing one would look for in a partner - romantic, casual, or otherwise. the only role in sex where gender actually mattered was for procreation.
there would be no queer awakening moment, no sudden switch flipped, no stigma to have internal conflicts about because it simply did not exist as a concept whatsoever. you were either attracted to a person or you weren't, it was that simple. gender played no role when it came to sex and sexual attraction. the japanese were lightyears ahead of western cultures in this particular area - like most cultures were before christianity came in and ruined everything with its backwards morals and strict good/evil dichotomy.
yall have got to realize queer rep will not and should not always adhere by modern western standards. there was no straight, gay, bi, or anything else of the sort. the closest they ever got was referring to roles during sex - as in who is giving and who is receiving.
i know this is mostly a made up story but it is still set within a very specific time period and culture, which should be honored and respected by not making it fit into our box. tons of research went into making this show historically accurate (albeit with some discrepancies but tbh they aren't really that huge) right down to the calligraphy writing. please please please don't whitewash the culture from these characters.
i say this mainly because without this knowledge, so many of you are going to build these characters up on a foundation they aren't meant to be on and then you'll rage about queerbaiting and bad queer rep if it isn't somehow super explicitly stated, if it doesn't match your very modern, very western ideal of what queer looks like. don't try to force this plot and narrative and characters into something they canonically and historically aren't. headcanons are a thing, AUs are a thing, fanfiction is a thing - leave your western thinking for those and let these characters simply exist as they should otherwise. this is one of those times where the queerness really does not need to be examined at all beyond what we get.
i know it can be hard to wrap your head around - sexuality is such a huge part of our identity in the western world and has slowly started to spread amongst other parts of the world in importance. but just keep in mind with these particular characters, that concept would be so very alien to them.
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