#humanshapedstress

[hauntedwizardmoment]

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

PLEASE I LOVE ALL YOUR WORK SO MUCH ANYTHING YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT

HI i'm sorry this took forever but i needed to figure out what i wanted to talk about and i think im gonna expand on peregrine and jace's + porter and ghorza's whole deal in it's a three-way call and he knows nothing

my initial concept for this fic was just straight-up the one day where we did a ton of posting about starbreaker cheating on their partners with each other, and then the image of jace having an absent husband who he cheats on sprung forth fully-formed like athena from zeus' forehead.

i needed to pick somebody to be his absent husband and figure out why they were absent. i landed on an OC from blood and turpentine for his husband (peregrine is kind of my go-to Guy To Get Mad At because i made him up specifically to suck and be jace's shitty ex, so in this timeline he is jace's shitty husband). and the concept of "jace gave up an adventuring career for his relationship" because thats the kind of thing that happens a lot irl (happened to my friend who got married right out of high school actually!!) and it's smth that would definitely build a lot of resentment for my version of pre-shatterstar jace who really values his autonomy and self-determination

i also wanted to get across the feeling of "there was once a LOT of love here, but it's gone now" so i tried to figure out what were some qualities that would make jace fall in love with someone, then find ways that those qualities would evolve into something repulsive. i landed on protective and doting (he likes feeling desired! he likes feeling like someone has his back!) and turned those into patronizing and cloying (now his freedom is being restricted and he's being treated like some little purse dog).

i think something that jace really struggles with in his relationship is feeling excluded from peregrine's life; he's an adventurer, he's out on the road all the time, he's not allowed to share details of his missions with jace due to [handwavey council of chosen rules], he can't even text jace from his work phone because that's for Business Only. jace's main motivation for his affair is feeling seen and held by someone, and being part of something bigger than himself. it's why he wanted to adventure full-time after graduating, and it's why in this timeline you see him still getting set up to be part of porter's plan.

peregrine is a good fighter, he's very protective of his whole party, but he's fundamentally a very scared and insecure person. the idea of losing jace terrifies him so much that he begs him to quit his job and retire to elmville/play housewife forever. he's scared that his relationship will fall apart if he doesn't provide, so he takes any mission the council sends his way. he worries that jace will get hurt while working at aguefort so he gets him magic items (a ring and cloak of protection) and doesnt want to see him working at aguefort (he graduated from there, he knows the school's reputation). he views all of these as his noble sacrifices. and when jace doesn't show him enough appreciation for making said sacrifices, or god forbid implies that he's unsatisfied, he gets upset and throws them in his face (his job pays for the house), minimizes jace's own work (says jace 'plays around' with spell components, as if they arent part of his Literal Job as a sorcery teacher), and is generally a HUGE dick about it.

re. ghorza, she's actually a PC from a campaign i was in, played by one of my irl friends lia who has let me talk her ear off about toxic yaoi as of late. the way lia played her was as a very buff viking barbarian who is also into philosophy and poetry and has a Sensitive Side, and eventually she abandons her initial goal of conquest to help liberate the kingdom our PCs were saving. i didn't get into her and porter's relationship a ton because this fic was very jace-centric BUT i do picture her and porter as having an open relationship. she knows about jace and has been angling for a threesome, but porter correctly identified that jace would freak out at the whole "i have a wife" thing so he lies to jace about that. what she truly doesn't know about is the groundwork for porter's plan, because porter doesn't want someone equally matched with him in strength as a minion, he wants someone easier to push around, and jace fits the bill.

[qqueenofhades]

AHAHA! YOUR GOOD OMENS S2 META AND FIC HAVE MADE ME SCREAM AND THANK YOU FOR WRITING AND SHARING!!!

YOUR ANALYSIS IS SPOT ON AND EVEN MADE ME REALIZE NEW THINGS THAT TWIST MY HEART EVEN MORE!! I AM IN AGONY AND LOVE IT HERE. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!

I must ask because I’m curious to hear your thoughts on the matter (although feel free to ignore this if you don’t want to/don’t think there’s anything to it) (and also if perhaps you spoke about it in your meta post and I unfortunately missed it): What do you think of the recurring theme of Aziraphale and “Forgiveness/Forgiving people”?

I’m guessing most everyone remembers “May you be forgiven” from the bandstand scene from season 1, and season 2 opens with Aziraphale “forgiving” Maggie’s debt (which I believe he later tells Crowley is for “only selfish reasons of course” and is quite happy about it.) He also mentions he’s quite good at forgiveness… and then I’m forced to think of reminded of the “I forgive you” at the end. I think it’s interesting that he says “I” at this moment… and can’t help but wonder if this is a heat of the moment aspect or something that taps into something much… deeper. Subconscious perhaps. Also the idea of what exactly he is forgiving. Is it really “forgiveness” for a kiss or… forgiveness for something else????

I want to scream into the woods for YEARS

Anyways!! Just curious!! Thank you again for sharing your thoughts and insights, I love to see them!!!

Aha, thank you so much! And yes, GOD YES, I absolutely DO HAVE THOUGHTS (TM) about Aziraphale and Forgiveness. It is one of the things that I could have gotten to in my previous meta, but didn't, in the interest of it not being twice as long as it was. But. Yes.

I think we're meant to read the theme in two senses: one, about Aziraphale's struggle with his identity as an angel, and two, about Aziraphale's struggle with his queerness (in this case, queer being his attraction to a male-presenting demon, but gender isn't at all the thing that's keeping them apart; it's definitely the demon part). Aziraphale likes forgiving people because he's an angel, but as he says re: Maggie, it is selfish. It is a quick and easy way for Aziraphale to demonstrate Goodness, it requires very little sacrifice from him, and he can do it whether or not the person in question wants it (in re: the Final Fifteen, where he just twists the knife further after the kiss). In the case of Maggie, it will get him slavish gratitude, he feels Good, he assumes the other person feels Good too -- success all around!

Except of course, Aziraphale is doing the kind of (inadvertently) hurtful weaponizing that we often talk about in regard to the cultural expectation that you have to Forgive people who have badly hurt you, usually your parents. Consider all the advice that you "need" to forgive them, it's on you to forgive them, you're a bad person if you don't -- even though in the case of toxic or abusive parents/family, they usually don't demonstrate any remorse at all. As discussed in my earlier meta, this is especially, painfully pertinent to Aziraphale because a) Heaven is the toxic family/partner, and b) they have, indeed, not demonstrated any remorse at all. Instead, they only keep tightening the noose, emotionally manipulating and gaslighting him even more, and otherwise showing no signs of ever letting up. They want Aziraphale to apologize for what he is, what he does, what he loves -- they want him to ask them for forgiveness, and they'll make a show of granting it, but only with serious strings attached. They've already convinced him to come back to heaven, only for him to realize they haven't changed at all and still want to unleash the Apocalypse. Aziraphale's own forgiveness, despite his best intentions, is still toxic and performative because this is where he learned how to do it, and Heaven's forgiveness of any kind is only ever an emotional manipulation. So he's doing it as an emotional manipulation of his own, even if he doesn't really mean to. Etc. etc. children of abusive families having to unlearn a shitton of toxic traits/emotional reflexes, and Aziraphale is still very tied to it.

As for his "forgiveness" of Crowley after the kiss, there's a few things going on there. First, he's panicking, he doesn't know what to do, he's terrified of actually, fully choosing Crowley at that moment and therefore openly defying Heaven, and so he just reaches for it as a security blanket. He thinks it'll comfort Crowley by somehow magically telling him, "I don't hold that against you and I know why you did it, I want you too but I can't admit that," but while this might be what Aziraphale means, it's not at all what he communicates. Instead it comes off as condescending, sanctimonious, No Homo, and seemingly ultimate proof to Crowley that Aziraphale doesn't return his feelings and views the kiss as some kind of sacrilege that he, the Bad Old Demon Attempting Fleshly Temptation would otherwise be blamed for -- unless, of course, O Holy Aziraphale is so good as to forgive him for doing it. No wonder Crowley tells him not to bother. Everything that is encapsulated by that statement, and what it means for their relationship, is everything he cannot stand.

I also think we're supposed to read it in light of the also-previously-discussed metaphor for religion, queerness, and what religion, especially fundamentalist organized religion, does to queer people. In so many cases, any explicit queerness, or attempt to act on that queerness, in a religious framework, is met with this exact kind of pitying condescension: "I'll pray for you" or "I forgive you for your unseemly queer desires, as long as you repent," or "love the sinner, hate the sin" or other pious platitudes that don't represent any real acceptance and only serve to increase the hurt (not least because "love" is always in very short supply). So for Aziraphale to say that to Crowley, even if that's not really what he means, is the ultimate gut punch. It's not a coincidence that he's offered what he thinks is the best plan -- Heaven! Them as angels together! Returning to serve the terrible system in the fanciful idea they can make it Better! -- and Crowley rejects that unsatisfying and impossible framework in favor of that desperate, wild, angry kiss. It's the antithesis of what Aziraphale is offering, but he can't accept what Crowley's offering instead because it likewise is so far beyond anything he has comprehended or feels ready to take, and... ouch.

Anyway, I also don't think it's a coincidence that the next time we see them in s3 (/stares pointedly at Amazon), Aziraphale will be the one in the position of needing forgiveness -- real forgiveness -- from Crowley, and both of them damn well know it. And how they get there, and how they negotiate to the point where they reach it, will be the emotional key of that final act, and for their happy ever after.

[wingsofahoneybee]

Saw how many times you reblogged the “didn’t see the northern lights” post and just wanted to say. Yeah I feel you. Trying to be very normal about not being able to see them but I am Devastated. DEVASTATED.

KIP GOT TO SEE THEM AND SENT PICTURES WHICH MADE IT WORSE!!! MY LOVELY WONDERFUL PARTNER OF COURSE DESERVES THE MAGIC OF AURORAS BUT WTF THE THREE OF US CANT WATCH ALL TOGETHER???? NO MANTISES OR BEES ALLOWED?!?!?!!?!?!?!?? FUCKED UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im normal about it tho.

[fishfingersandscarves]

MORTIFYING REALIZATION AS I SEND THE ASK THAT I DIDN’T ASK IF YOU’RE UP TO DATE WITH DUNGEON MESHI AND JUST ASSUMED UHHH SPOILERS FOR DUNGEON MESHI I’M SO SORRY

lol ur good i am in fact caught up

[iaus]

tagged by @t4tozier !!

rules: shuffle your on repeat playlist and list the first ten songs

"putting the dog to sleep" the antlers

"creatures in heaven" glass animals

"jesus christ" brand new

"romantic homicide" d4vd

"salt in the wound" boygenius

"need 2" pinegrove

"if i get high" nothing but theives

"rory" foxing <- my BELOVED

"polaris" jimmy eat world

"casings" ethel cain

all of these are on my epilogue writing playlist LMAO. but tyyyy these are always fun.

tagginggg @humanshapedstress @jadeandquartzes and @hauntedwizardmoment if y'all want <3

[aziraphales-library]

I know the common fanon perception is that Aziraphale is secretly a powerful, kickass warrior, but are there any fics where he's just..not? Where's Heaven's perception of him as not a very good angel isn't because he doesn't like fighting, but because he's just not very good at it? Where he knows he'll never be the perfect soldier Heaven wants him to be, and either he's happy with it, or Crowley helps him be happy with it?

Hmm. This was a difficult one to search for. I’ve spent days looking and not really come up with much. I’m hoping our followers know of some fics like this?

For now, here are a few. One where Aziraphale doesn’t fight, and a couple where Aziraphale is not the kind of angel Heaven expects...

The First Fall by Geradsredskittle666 (M)

Aziraphale is attacked. Crowley, being not nice, comes to his rescue and cuddles his angel. Pairings: Crowley/Azirphale preslash. Warnings: Questioning of faith, loss of faith, physical assault, main character injury, two male characters cuddling, bonded pair behaviour.

What Makes an Angel Good? by humanshapedstress (T)

Aziraphale desperately wants to be a Good angel, and he really tries hard to be one. But it's not easy to be a Good angel when you're filled with questions that, when let loose, turn into doubts. He'll keep on trying though, because as long as he tries, he’s still a Good angel, right? As long as he follows orders, he's still a Good angel, right? As long as there's a reason to anything he does, he's still a Good angel, right? As long as he doesn’t give into temptation, he’s still a Good angel, right?

Right?

Those Who Dare to Fail Greatly by Supergeek21 (T)

Aziraphale has been ordered to apply for a promotion he doesn't want. Luckily Crowley has a plan to get him out of it.

- Mod D

[xofemeraldstars]

Title: What Makes an Angel Good? by @humanshapedstress

Word Count: 25317

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Rating: Teen 

Pairing(s): Aziraphale/Crowley

Character(s): Aziraphale, Crowley

Tags: Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Pining, Mutual Pining, Hedonist Aziraphale (Good Omens), Lots of alcohol, Pre-Canon, Post-Canon, Denial of Feelings, Idiots in Love, Eventual Happy Ending, Slowburn-like Elements, Seriously so much Alcohol it takes a lot of alcohol to effect an angel/demon, Aziraphale is Bad at Being an Angel (Good Omens)

Summary:

Aziraphale desperately wants to be a Good angel, and he really tries hard to be one. But it’s not easy to be a Good angel when you’re filled with questions that, when let loose, turn into doubts. He’ll keep on trying though, because as long as he tries, he’s still a Good angel, right? As long as he follows orders, he’s still a Good angel, right? As long as there’s a reason to anything he does, he’s still a Good angel, right? As long as he doesn’t give into temptation, he’s still a Good angel, right?

Right?

Beta-ed by @nieded

Illustration by someteainspace

Podfic & coverart by @xofemeraldstars

[ao3feed-goodomens]

What Makes an Angel Good?

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2TstRmD

by humanshapedstress

Aziraphale desperately wants to be a Good angel, and he really tries hard to be one. But it's not easy to be a Good angel when you're filled with questions that, when let loose, turn into doubts. He'll keep on trying though, because as long as he tries, he’s still a Good angel, right? As long as he follows orders, he's still a Good angel, right? As long as there's a reason to anything he does, he's still a Good angel, right? As long as he doesn’t give into temptation, he’s still a Good angel, right?

Right?

Words: 25317, Chapters: 15/15, Language: English

Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens)

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)

Additional Tags: Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Pining, Mutual Pining, Hedonist Aziraphale (Good Omens), Lots of alcohol, Pre-Canon, Post-Canon, Denial of Feelings, Idiots in Love, Eventual Happy Ending, Slowburn-like Elements, Seriously so much Alcohol it takes a lot of alcohol to effect an angel/demon, Aziraphale is Bad at Being an Angel (Good Omens)

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2TstRmD

[musicalrash]

I just got tagged for this over on my art account @crabcrown by the wonderful @humanshapedstress but imma do it on this account (aka my personal account) bc I try not to put anything that isn't art on that blog.

Rules: Tag 5/10 followers/people you want to know better

Name: Madeleine

Nickname(s): Maddy, Mads, Moodle, Maddy-bob, Bob, Steve, Boy (I don't know how to explain half of these)

Gender: Female

Height: 5′3.5″

Star Sign: Scorpio

Sexuality: probably bi or pan but I'm not sure yet

Hogwarts House: I usually get Hufflepuff but I have gotten Slytherin once or twice

Favorite Animal(s): all 10 of my pet sheep

Dogs or Cats: Cats because I own cats but I don't mind dogs

Average Hours of Sleep: 9-10 or 2-3 there is no in-between 

Number of Blankets You Sleep With: three because I can

Current Time: 8:58pm

Dream Trip: I moved to the other side of my country last year, it isn't actually that far but its still hard to find time to go back and visit friends so I would probably go back to visit people

Dream Job: probably something to do with art or graphics, I'm not really sure yet

When You Made Your Blog: April 22nd 2017

Why You Made Your Blog: I just wanted somewhere to post art

Number of Followers: 37 on crabcrown 

Reasons for Your URL: I like drawing crabs and why not

I Tag: @nose-coffee @cake-snake and I don't know who else to tag because I don't really follow that many people so I'm just gonna tag them (you guys don't have to do it if you don't want to)

[ao3feed-ineffablehusbandz]

What Makes an Angel Good?

by humanshapedstress

Aziraphale desperately wants to be a Good angel, and he really tries hard to be one. But it's not easy to be a Good angel when you're filled with questions that, when let loose, turn into doubts. He'll keep on trying though, because as long as he tries, he’s still a Good angel, right? As long as he follows orders, he's still a Good angel, right? As long as there's a reason to anything he does, he's still a Good angel, right? As long as he doesn’t give into temptation, he’s still a Good angel, right?

Right?

Words: 25317, Chapters: 15/15, Language: English

Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens)

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)

Additional Tags: Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Pining, Mutual Pining, Hedonist Aziraphale (Good Omens), Lots of alcohol, Pre-Canon, Post-Canon, Denial of Feelings, Idiots in Love, Eventual Happy Ending, Slowburn-like Elements, Seriously so much Alcohol it takes a lot of alcohol to effect an angel/demon, Aziraphale is Bad at Being an Angel (Good Omens)

source http://archiveofourown.org/works/22970635

[qqueenofhades]

Ahahahaha I see you’ve watched GO season 2 :)

I’m sorry we’re all suffering but also. I’m SUCH a big fan of your writing/meta/how you can see and describe things I’m ECSTATIC that you’re going to be tackling GO (not to put any pressure on you, just excited to see anything from you, but especially about stuff that I’m Oh So Normal about)

Thanks for writing and sharing!!!

Look I woke up at FIVE THIRTY AM this morning and could not get back to sleep because I had THOUGHTS. I will soon be preparing to INFLICT THOSE THOUGHTS upon you all. And PROBABLY ALSO FIC.

[ao3feed-crowley]

What Makes an Angel Good?

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2TstRmD

by humanshapedstress

Aziraphale desperately wants to be a Good angel, and he really tries hard to be one. But it's not easy to be a Good angel when you're filled with questions that, when let loose, turn into doubts. He'll keep on trying though, because as long as he tries, he’s still a Good angel, right? As long as he follows orders, he's still a Good angel, right? As long as there's a reason to anything he does, he's still a Good angel, right? As long as he doesn’t give into temptation, he’s still a Good angel, right?

Right?

Words: 25317, Chapters: 15/15, Language: English

Fandoms: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Good Omens (TV)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: M/M

Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens)

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)

Additional Tags: Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Pining, Mutual Pining, Hedonist Aziraphale (Good Omens), Lots of alcohol, Pre-Canon, Post-Canon, Denial of Feelings, Idiots in Love, Eventual Happy Ending, Slowburn-like Elements, Seriously so much Alcohol it takes a lot of alcohol to effect an angel/demon, Aziraphale is Bad at Being an Angel (Good Omens)

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/2TstRmD

[fishfingersandscarves]

Hi I saw you reblog Marcielle from Dungeon Meshi who I Adore and then got hit with the ramifications of The Sandman x Dungeon Meshi fic with Hob as Laios and honestly as someone who hasn’t read the Sandman comics I know Aggie isn’t canon but she is To Me so the story of Hob going back into a dangerous dungeon woefully unprepared for the chance to save his sibling and then I was stuck thinking about who Dream would be, maybe Marcielle and her obsession with her goal and her fear of being Lonely and then Realized he would be the Demon who shares an unending hunger with Hob but maybe doesn’t realize it and-

I’m going to be distracted all day haha but I just wanted to thank you

ohohoho i love it

[gontagokuhara]

Hi there! I saw your red moon post and I got curious, so by any chance could you be living around somewhere else where there's a lot of stuff on fire? I ask cause' sometimes the moon looks red/orange to me when there's a lot of smoke in the air. That's just my guess though, it could be something else like light scattering and stuff.

i live in maine and there aren’t any wildfires nearby, but from what i understand canada is having issues w wildfires lately! a couple of my friends helped me figure out that what it is is probably smoke from the fires in canada making the moon look like that

[hauntedwizardmoment]

Tropeeeee grading! Academia AU and enemies to lovers (of course I had to ask)!

oooo okay okay. so academia AU, there's a couple of places you could go there so i think i'll rank them by least to most favorite:

high school au: D-, would be an F but i Will try anything once and i did read one a while back for destiel that used it as a setup to do childhood friends to enemies to lovers which i loved. honestly no judgement to anyone who writes high school aus i assume all of them are written by people currently in high school and like pop off y'all but that is the last place i as an adult want to go back to

college au: C+ teetering on a B-, if you'd asked me like 2 years ago this wouldve been an A but like literally a week after i graduated college i was like "oh wow none of that shit mattered" and i had a crisis about it. HOWEVER. i think these are a lot more fun than high school AUs because college is inherently more lawless than high school. no supervision just vibes. and i think it's even more of a fun transitional space than high school as well because youre in between the hyper-structured environments of grade school and a job, kind of in a liminal space for 4 years

faculty au: A+ no notes. SO many fun directions you can go. grade school teachers? so many fun shenanigans to get into there, see the 15k words ive written about notable grade school teacher jace stardiamond. grad students? also SO fun. i want to see my blorbos struggle through a PhD and TA an entry level coding class. college professors? every single professor i worked with in college always had the messiest drama and loved spilling all the tea about intradepartmental power struggles it was SO great.

enemies to lovers: i mean it's gonna be another A from me. hate and love are the same emotion in different fonts. i love when people wound each other in the worst ways and then patch each other up. i love unhealthy obsessions and death spirals. i love narrative parallels. i love hatesex. truly the perfect trope.

[hauntedwizardmoment]

For the writing ask, 7, 8, 12, and 23?

7. your preferred writing fonts?

i'm so basic, everything i write is with the default docs font: arial, size 11. maybe i'll do times new roman if i'm feeling fancy

8. if you had to write a sequel to a fic, you'd write one for...

well this is awkward bc i am currently writing a direct sequel to love's never meant much to me. but i think the other option is something set after vicious and carved out of stone. i think i could get some mileage out of a post-canon au where porter ascends and jace is his mortal consort. could be fun!

12. a trope you're really into right now?

oh my god so many. but i think the main one is religious devotion. also love compelled through violence. i come from destiel so this is a real "fork spotted in kitchen" moment but man it's so good. i love idolatry i love obsession and worship and annihilation of the self for the service of another.

23. pick three keywords that describe your writing

derivative, inane, and tryhard. who said that. no but for real i think. verbose (the yapper. i love adverbs and adjectives), elliptical (lots of brief sketches of things imo, i'm trying to get better about that. i read things back and im like wow not a lot of lingering happening here), and (at least i hope my dialogue comes off as) conversational (as opposed to stilted and unnatural)