#i LIVE??????? sorta i'm not quite sure what i'm up to at this point

[mythvoiced]

-. BONJOUR, I wanted to express my most formal AND informal apologies (as in, I'm wearing a suit but also full clown make-up because I am a clown) for the radio silence, I am slowly (very slowly) trying to pick things up again on this here hellsite because I've got so many SEXY WONDERFUL THINGS in m'drafts and you know, I'm gonna fight my brain hand-to-hand if that's what it's gonna take-- SO YEAH, SOON HOPEFULLY? I shall return...

I also wanted to say thank you for those who reached out on my birthday that I didn't get back to ON the day of my birthday because I slumped again mentally and I want to give APPROPRIATE LOVEY DOVEY ENERGY BACK or nothing if possible because it wouldn't be fair to your kindness, so, thank you truly SO SO SO MUCH to you for even still thinking of me and for the kindness in my inbox still that I will HOLD ONTO TIGHTLY. Thank you SOOOOOOOO much for your patience~

Lil note for when I start dropping writing again: I'm giving up on formatting lmao, so, I MEAN, I wasn't doing much anyway, bolding the " and regular font size for italics and bold words rather than 'small', BUT YEAH, JUST-- I don't know why I'm giving a head's up, but I think... I'd rather save those few seconds and not worry about that anymore, and just... yeet some writing your way~ with the occasional resource~ THANK YOU

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for killing my character and quitting a D&D game I was part of?

Apologies in advance but this is going to be rather long, I'll put a TL;DR at the bottom.

So this all started about eleven months ago when I (14, she/they/he) started getting into D&D, and joined a D&D group thanks to a friend of mine we'll call T (14, he/they). The group was made up of about five people total, but the main people in this situation are me, T, and the DM who we'll call N (15, he/him).

Now when I was making my character, T was helping me out by letting me describe what sort of character I wanted and suggesting different races, classes etc to make it work how I wanted, and what we ended up with was a Pact of the Undead warlock. The backstory of my character was that their older brother died defending them from an invasion of the village they lived in.

My character managed to make contact with their spirit in the afterlife and formed a "pact" with them, gaining power in exchange for letting him "look after them" (i.e. keep watch over them from the afterlife, protect them from harm, all that sorta thing). T told me to run the final concept past N but that they were sure it'd be allowed and that the pact idea was really sweet.

So I told N about my character and the backstory idea like T suggested and N seemed really on board with the whole thing, though he wanted to make a few slight changes to things in secret that would come up during the campaign, to make things more exciting I guess.

I told him I was alright with that, as long as nothing about who the pact was with and what it was for changed too much. He assured me that it wouldn't and that he'd get back to me on what changes he was planning, but he never did, and at the time I just put that down to him being busy.

The campaign starts, and for the first few months things are going pretty good. I do notice that a lot of NPCs, in fact nearly every non-child NPC, seems to be flirting(?) with my character, but I don't think too much of it at first, she is a young elven woman with blonde hair and silver eyes and everyone in the group has said that she's very pretty.

It isn't until one of the others who is also playing an elven character points out that they've been on the receiving end of essentially racism towards elves from NPCs who have simultaneously been showering my character with compliments that I start realizing how frequent and honestly rather obsessive it is, and as mentioned, just how many of the NPCs are doing it.

Then we get to T's character arc, exploring his character's backstory and helping them with things that come up. However, there are certain characters that are introduced that, out of character, T reacts rather negatively to, and when I ask him outside of session what's going on he confides in me that N is changing elements of his backstory that he'd told him he didn't want changing. As an example, T wrote that their character's mother was never part of their character's life growing up.

One of the characters we met was the character's mother, who was instead apparently a very prominent part of their life and cared greatly about them "not that they ever noticed". He also changed the character of T's father from "kind and caring man who did his best to raise his child alone and teach them how to defend themselves" to "stubborn, angry and neglectful father that is constantly disappointed in his son", which completely blindsided and upset T.

T also said that he'd tried talking to N about this but that the response had ended up being, to put it bluntly, "I'm the DM so I have the final say in things". This started to worry me, especially when I realized that N had never gotten back to me with his "proposed changes" to my backstory.

So I sent him a message, but because I didn't want to drag T into my own business with N I decided to say something along the lines of "hey, did you ever figure out what you wanted to change about my backstory?". He messaged back and said that he'd figured it out, but that things with school were so busy that he hadn't had time to sit down and properly write it all out to send to me yet, but assured me that he would by the time T's arc was over.

Several more months passed with no further word from N about my character's backstory, and as T's arc wraps up there's this idea that starts getting brought up, of how demons often exploit the grief of mortals to latch onto them and claim their souls by impersonating the dead person.

The others in the group all latch onto this and start speculating about how exactly the demons use impersonation to claim souls, except for T who gives me this rather worried look from across the table, and it suddenly hits me that this is probably meant to be the opening of my character arc.

I pull N aside after the game is over for the night and ask him directly if this is the opening to my character arc, and he says that it is, but not to worry because the demon thing is, to quote, "just being brought up to get the others interested". I remind him about what I told him about not wanting anything to change about who the pact was with and what it was for, and ask him again what changes he's made to my backstory.

He promises he'll have a full list to me by the start of next session, that we'll have time to sit down together and discuss it all even, and that he won't do anything I don't want him to do. Despite my concerns and the fact that he has already said several times he'll send me this list without doing it, I decide, like a fool, to trust him, even though in hindsight I had absolutely no reason to by this point.

The next session rolls around, and of course there's no list, instead a lot of NPCs who start voicing concern whenever my character brings up the fact she's a warlock, or her dead brother, especially if the pair come up in quick succession. One of the other characters figures out what's going on and asks if they can basically cast some sort of spell to determine if a demon's got control of my soul, which N agrees to, and the spell determines that yes, that's exactly what's going on.

I immediately confront N, mid-session, and tell him outright that this isn't fair, that I told him I didn't want him to change this part of my backstory, and I wanted him to change it back immediately or I wasn't going to play anymore. He started on this long-winded response basically summarizing as "I'm the DM, I can do what I want".

This is the part where I may be the asshole, because well, I saw red in that moment, and decided I not only wanted to follow through on my threat of quitting, but also do something to ensure that my point was driven home.

I fired off a quick message to T on my phone warning him what I was about to do, and while the others were talking about what to do to help me I loudly announced that my character was stabbing herself through the heart, which N had previously ruled would be an instant method of death if carried out.

Silence falls over the group. N tells me that I need to roll to see if I even hit, which I argue (with T backing me up) that if my character is willing to get hurt then it's automatically a hit. N tells me that I need to roll to see if I even pierce my heart. Okay, fine, I roll, and as luck would have it I roll a Nat 20. N attempts to send me just to death saves, but I remind him (again, with T backing me up) that he'd ruled that this was an instant death.

So then he tries to have an NPC cleric show up and revive my character, but T brings up that the soul has to be willing to return to life for that to work, and I immediately say that my character wouldn't even be able to consent to that if her soul was held by a demon, nor would she even be willing if she could. Then I tell N directly that he can consider this my official resignation from the group and walk out, and T follows along behind me after a few minutes.

Ever since then N's been blowing up my phone, fluctuating between begging for me to rejoin the group and promising that he'll do things differently this time, and calling me a selfish bastard for "ruining the fun". T still goes to sessions occasionally, though I think now it's just to spectate, and he's said that maybe things went a little far with the character death in hindsight. And honestly, I'm not exactly proud of how I acted now either.

TL;DR -- I joined a D&D campaign where the DM has made unwanted changes to my character's backstory, despite my attempts to communicate with him, so I retaliated by killing my character mid-session and refusing to let him revive her before quitting. AITA?

[kitthenameless]

I made this other post about the Emperor and Ansur once, but I had more things I wanted to say and couldn't quite fit in without muddying my point.

This is perhaps a bit of a reach, but this is not the first time I've found a portrayal of turning into a monster that I relate to as a chronically ill / disabled person who became ill later in life. It has nothing to do with feeling monstrous (I don't feel monstrous) or even body horror, and everything to do with how disabled people are treated by society and even those closest to us.

Obviously disabled people don't go around eating brains. We are not dangerous any more than abled people are. But becoming a mindflayer (or whatever monster) is comparable in the sense that, it can happen suddenly, and then your whole life is different, your body is not what it used to be (maybe visually, maybe the way it works or doesn't work now), and you need certain accommodations in order to thrive or even just survive. But people treat you differently now, you're not really given any help, and truthfully a lot of people would rather you just be dead. You're abandoned by society to figure out your new life and all its difficulties on your own. If you're lucky, you have some people who care enough to help you. If you're not lucky, you do the best you can in your desperation.

And that's why it feels so messed up to me that Ansur just gave up on Balduran/Emperor once he couldn't cure him. He clearly believes this is still Balduran, as shown by how he speaks to him when you meet him. So in his mind, he wasn't even trying to kill some creature that just had Balduran's memories. He was trying to kill Balduran. Who forcibly underwent a change to his body and accepted it and decided he still wanted a chance at living.

Edit to add: I'm pretty sure the Emperor even says it wasn't easy at first, so he didn't immediately embrace being a mindflayer. He came to accept it with some time, and that feels even more significant to me.

Like I said, I know becoming a mindflayer is not exactly the same as becoming disabled because mindflayers are dangerous. But also like I said, in my other post, the game shows us there are options to living ethically as a mindflayer. It's just that no one even helped the Emperor try to find them. And even so, he did his best on his own by eating criminals (which there is proof of, in a transcript).

I don't even blame him for disguising himself to the player at first. Look at how society treats freed mindflayers. Look at how the Emperor's own best friend and lover treated him. It makes perfect sense to assume we would hurt him or refuse to help him too.

Some people are so quick to forgive the companions for all the messed up things they've done because they have trauma. The Emperor has been through shit too though. He wouldn't admit to having trauma, but he was kidnapped, had his body forcibly changed, had his mind enslaved, had his lover try to kill him, had to kill his lover in self-defense, and was enslaved a second time. Sounds pretty traumatic to me.

Anyway. It's probably random to end this by talking about books, but that's what I do (literally, I also have a book blog), so. The other stories I also related to in this way were Dead Collections by Isaac Fellman (vampires) and Bored Gay Werewolf by Tony Santorella (werewolves). Maybe look 'em up, if you like that sorta thing.

[izpira-se-zlato]

Milan, 27.03.24

Gig report! Can't believe there's only two to go after this one :o (for me)

I showed up at 4:45pm (bc I'd chosen to get food at the station) and was still a lower number than in Munich at 2pm. Yeah.

didn't really queue thus, which always makes gigs a bit… different. I miss chatting with people before gigs, but I hadn't wanted to fly (even though after the venue move that would have been even easier. But also catching a 7:30 flight the morning after a gig. Yeah, no)

the queue kinda fell apart because you needed a membership card to get into the venue. We didn't have to pay. But they had to handwrite it for us. Emotions ran a little high

the venue was. Something. Sorta a… festival tent? Not quite outdoors, but definitely Interesting

due to the proximity to the airport, the radio frequencies from planes kept interfering with the equipment. Bojan attempted to explain it to us, but he didn't know it himself and thus mostly listened. I feared for the worst at that point, ngl. They didn't look particularly angry to me, but Bojan was like, "Don't be angry, Jan!" so I was like 😬

Bojan tried to get Jure and then also Nace to jam while they were figuring out their tech issues (Always Something Problem), but it meant Jan couldn't hear himself enough and so we just watched him wander on stage while Bojan tried to entertain us

We got ASTP and Proti Toku for soundchek. My first ASTP in 12 gigs on this tour! Curious to see what we'll get today

Bojan repeatedly called Jan "Jenzo" and then later claimed "Just so you know, Jan's Italian name is Jenzo!" with which the crowd disagreed (and let him know that it should be Gianni)

soundcheck was pretty cold and I almost regretted not having taken my jacket (but it did warm up)

the opener was a brass band. Unexpected but actually fun. Fit the gig, somehow

they played a lot of medleys of known songs and the crowd was pretty into it

JC! God, I barely can believe that it was the second-to-last tie I saw him live like that. I love his acoustic set a lot (in particular the first and last songs xD)

He accidentally unplugged his guitar last night. Kinda a funny moment

pretty sure the hype list was changed. Dirty Little Secret made it into the cut, and to our surprise, Zitti e Buoni didn't. Weird choice, Primož (or so I assume)

Actual gig!

We got Jan in a capybaster shirt and Nace in the cosy sweater and Bojan in a buttoned shirt he got gifted during soundcheck and Jure in the gorgeous metallic sweater and Kris in another cozy sweater

The Jance was off the fucking charts, jfc I hate them idk what was in the air. Probably hadn't seen each other all day (I'm not actually complaining)

We got SSOL opener into… Ne Bi Smel into Ona into Tokio

During Ne Bi Smel Jan was standing in front of Nace's mic so Nace had to push him away to sing the backing vocals (grinning all the while)

Bojan went, "This night is gonna be multilingual" so I was like, oh, Tokio, but no! "We had English, then Slovene, now we're gonna add some Serbian!" Changing his quips for the final stretch, huh?

Nace singing fucking "Dok tebe sunce greje, mi amore" at Jan. I hate him (While the sun warms you up, my love, according to lyrics translate)

They also played at each other during NBS because of course they did

Jan back on Jure's snare drum for the end. Multi-instrumentalist

Tokio! I didn't catch it on video, but Nace leaned in and bumped his nose into Jan's breast? Kissed his coat? I have no clue what he did but I was like ??? Nace?

At the end, they chased each ohter in circles again, and Nace either went down on one knee in front of Jan or almost did so. When the lights came back on, Nace patted Jan's chest while laughing (couldn't make out Jan's expression)

before NGVOT, Nace was thrown bread. A plushie? Actual bread? I don't know

Nace kept looking over at Jan during NGVOT, and when Jan finally met his gaze, he turned to him so they played at each other. Jan was making a mock-surprised grimacing face and playing? And then they just. Turned back to the front. What the fuck, guys

they just. kept looking at each other. Jan looking at Nace while Nace was doing backing vocals. Nace looking back as soon as he was done. Them swaying in sync while Nace smiled smugly about it. And at the end, they did the swaying like. In opposite cycles? So both sawying in and both swaying away, until Nace turned and bent his knees a little and yelled up into Jan's face. Yeah idk.

we didn't only get Bluza but got it before Šta bih ja

Kris came over to hug Jan during Bluza 🥰😭

Jan's expressions during the ending were. Something 😂

more silliness from Jan and Nace during Šta bih ja

Bojan: "This is a new song! Why do you know it"

also uh. Synchronised hip thrusting while facing each other at the end of the song. Yeah. Jfc remember you're on a stage, guys

Jan either messed up the opening of Demoni or his guitar gave out for a hot second but he was wearing a very oops expression

Jan grasped Nace's shoulders during Demoni and I think spoke the words at him? Or said something else? But that wouldn't make sense? Nace nodded and patted Jan's chest in turn

Got the Demoni scream

PiJano Padam. Bojan looked really tired during that song. Jfc get this man to take a break

Intense staring at each other at the beginning of Umazane until Nace said something to Jan and then both grinned and Nace wandered off

Nace was pretty silly at the start of the karaoke bit and like. gestured at Jan theatrically and then mimed falling over. Dork

We got the OG OG Umazane Misli chorus. The one Bojan wrote in a hurry the first time they performed it. Made my night -- and Kris's because it's where the very smiley/laughing Kris pics during UM came from

@kurooscoffee/@jokeroutsubs had prepared UNO reserve cards to make the boys sing. Which made the rounds already but gaaah it was !!!!!!

Jan declaiming the verse because "[he] can't sing so [he's] not gonna sing. [He's] gonna interpret it." And interpret he did😂

Nace with the "oh oh" before he started jfc the dork

Jan ducking under Nace's arm to play his bass after he failed to catch Nace's attention to offer, and then just. Going for it.

Nace slinging an arm around Jan

Nace singing "morning smells like you" right at Jan while Jan keeps looking up at him from playing chords on Nace's bass

Kris "Jan! Play, play the melody, I need the harmony!" (and Jan did)

god we need more Kris singing plssss

Kris sang the verse mostly at Nace

Jure going "oooh fuck!" and not knowing the entire lyrics 😂😂 Jance this and Jance that, but that made my night

I didn't see Bojan at barricade cheering his band mates on but he was and just. Gah. It was such a wholesome thing I hate them

Nace posed for pictures with a silly expression, and then Jance posed for a combined heart for someone

Plastika saw Bojan caress Nace and then hug Jan from behind (no choking tho)

During Novi Val, Jance stood off to the side being Jance for quite a while, while Jure had his hand weirdly on Bojan's back?

They looked really exhausted by the end which. Mood.

Post gig:

The venue had a scrolling LED screen that scrolled "Everybody's Waiting At The Ball" (thanks, Kris, for the restory!)

Had a chat with Dean (lovely) and JC Stewart (also lovely) and learned that JC and Conor used to live together which is why JC was out with Conor to be introduced to the boys (allegedly before Christmas, though JC wasn't 100%)

hung around the gate after the show even though it was pretty clear they wouldn't say hi, but it gave us a chance to see Mark (who'd surprised the boys with a visit) as he was waiting for someone to let him off the venue grounds. "Well, they'll have to open this at some point, they ordered McDonald's!"

Spoiler: they did not open the gate for McDonalds. Primož tried to scale it, which almost worked but looked dangerous, and so the delivery person threw it over the top. It was a spectacle

by that point, Mark had been let out the old-fashioned way though

[peterparkouryo]

consuming devotion | ੈ♡˳

prompt: You can't help but love Peter, even if he doesn't reciprocate your feelings

warnings: heavy angst, heartbreak, sweet sweet unrequited love and one sided pining (obv)

word count: 1.5k

"I'm left wondering why the stars align, but your heart doesn't seem to find a place for mine."

a/n: it’s sorta unfinished but not rlly? also who’s excited for rebound four?? ;) (edited: it’s unfinished but there’s like a sort of part 2 that’s connected and i’m working on it)

ੈ♡˳

There's something so beautiful, yet so so painful about being in love. On one hand, you have these intense emotions that are so heartwarming, joyful, happiness and you're content with being around the person you love. On the other hand, your mind is a battleground of emotions. You're plagued by self-doubt, wondering if you're good enough, if you're worthy of their love. You question whether they truly care for you, or if you're just imaging things. You're torn between revealing your feelings, or risking heartbreak.

That's the thing, you have felt every emotion of being in love that there is. The truth is, it sucks.

The distance between you and Peter feels like an insurmountable chasm. Time seems to drag on, and you always, always ache for his presence.

You know there's a mutual understanding that he only sees you as a friend, he has said it on multiple occasions, and thankfully you weren't stupid enough to actually admit to being hopelessly in love with the boy.

You're not entirely sure if he is aware of your affection for him, and you surely doubt that he is, considering its, well, Peter.

What you do know, that you are positively sure of, is that you've probably loved Peter for the better half of your life. There were countless times that proved it too, such as the movie nights, the boy offering to help you with your dreadful homework, walking you home after school, and pretty much anything else that made a vulnerable warmth settle in your heart.

After that realization, you became hyper-aware of every little detail about Peter - his likes, his dislikes hobbies and interests. You hung onto every word he ever said, dissecting his actions for hidden meanings. You started craving his attention and validation, yet you feared the vulnerability the came to revealing your true feelings.

You always had a mix of emotions all at once, sadness, frustration, and sometimes even jealousy. You alway questioned yourself, wondering what could possibly be wrong with you, why you weren't enough for him. It's a battle between your heart and mind, trying to rationalize your while your heart keeps yearning for the unattainable.

Peter's heart was truly pure gold, always thinking of others before himself, helping out whenever he could, he was perfect. And no matter what he did, you still loved him.

Even if he continuously rejected your feelings. 

You both knew he wasn't exactly doing it on purpose, he's told you countless times that he only strictly saw you as a friend and nothing more, but like the stubborn person you were, you ignored those words and lived in this pathetic delusion that you'd actually have a chance with him.

Finding yourself caught in a constant cycle of hope and despair, wavering between moments of elation whenever he showed you kindness or affection, and moments of heart-wrenching despair when he seemed distant or unresponsive, which wasn't an uncommon thing. You always, despite already knowing where the boy stood, tried to decipher he feelings, to find hidden signs that he might just feel the same way, but the uncertainty gnaws at your sanity.

"Party, my place, tonight." A voice interrupts your quiet studying, the girl plopping her lunch tray down on the rectangular table quite harshly, the action gaining your morbid attention.

"I don't know, last time I went to one of your parties, I had to clean up after you." You point out, paying close attention to the way Liz's smiles slowly turns into a frown.

"Well, this party is different, and it's not like I made you do that." She argues, shaking her head with an eye roll.

Liz has been your best friend since you both could ride a bike. She's been your better half for as long as you can remember, knowing everything about you and vice versa. The transition from middle schoolers into high school was tough to say the least, puberty doing its job for her, and you....not so much. So it was not a shocking factor that the girl quickly became popular.

Yet, despite her social status, she always stuck to you like glue, and you couldn't be more thankful for that.

You give her a unsure glance, before turning back to your textbook.

"Peter'll be there."

You swear you thought you were subtle when your head practically snaps up at your friend's sentence, but given the way she snorts at your action, you highly doubt it and you clear your throat before you hurriedly look down at your textbook again.

"Okay." You shrug, picking up your pencil to vigorously erase a problem that was probably right or wrong, but you didn't care, your only goal was trying to pretend to seem nonchalant.

Truth be told, you do try to move on from Peter, but the love you feel is stubborn and persistent. It's a constant ache gnawing at your soul, a wound refusing to heal. 

Liz tilts her head at your nonchalant response, not buying into your tone.

"Okay?" She repeats.

"Okay." You confirm, placing the pencil on the table, out of your anxious grasp.

Liz was well in the know of your one-sided affection for Peter. Always encouraging you to talk to him, entertaining the very thought of you two ever being a couple. Oh, how respectful she was toward you when she knew at one point during your high school years Peter harboured feelings for her. You don't know exactly what made the boy stop liking her, but you were glad in the end.

"Well, alright." The girl says carefully, picking at her food.

"You don't have to come, but it'd be great if you did." She states with a sweet smile, and you don't find it in yourself to retort it and only nod.

Liz mumbles a quiet bye, standing up with her lunch tray in hand, most likely going to hang out with her other more sociable friends, letting you be left alone with your thoughts.

Unfortunately, those thoughts last for a good five seconds.

"Just the girl I was looking for." You recognize the voice almost immediately, straightening your position to look more presentable.

Peter was effortlessly gorgeous, it was unfair, truly. It was almost like he was purposely taunting you with the knowledge of knowing you can't have him because he doesn't want you to.

He sets his belongings in the empty seat next to him, unzipping his backpack, grabbing a small piece of paper with a pencil, zipping the bag back up before sliding over the gathered materials in your reach.

You look in-between him and the objects in confusion.

"I need you to write me a letter." Peter says, quickly noticing your bewilderment.

"For?"

"My birthday."

"Your birthday's not till August?"

"Well, not my birthday, MJ's." Peter corrects with a small chuckle.

You nod slowly, sliding the objects closer to you, avoiding Peter's intent gaze.

"Isn't her birthday in like, June?" You quiz, writing your 'to' and 'from' as Peter shrugs from across you.

"Yeah, but I'm planning a surprise party that'll at least take a month considering its Michelle, and I know how much you love writing letters." The boy explains and your eyes go wide as you look at him, raising an offended eyebrow.

Of course, it was certainly no secret that many of your love confessions were most of the time in the form of letters, those of which he rejected, continuously, and it was a heartbreaking experience every time. But having the boy use the very thing you couldn't help but show your expression with, against you, hurt worse than any rejection (you're lying, obviously).

"You're so funny, I almost laughed." You deadpan, slamming the pencil down on the table, startling Peter slightly as you push the pencil and paper back to him.

You quickly gather your things, turning to leave the lunch room, though it was nowhere near over, ignoring the calls of your name from Peter.

-

One-sided love is a tortuous experience. It's such a devastating thing knowing that your love is nowhere near as close to be reciprocated. Always filled with such despair. A constant battle between your heart and reality, between your dreams and the harsh truth.

After your "storm out", Peter was quick to text you with a million apologies, which to all of those you hesitantly ignored, and it was a no good feeling, probably the hardest thing you ever had to do.

It wasn't like he had never joked about your feelings towards him. You think its better that way, but sometimes he could go a little too far and you never understood why you allowed him to continue with the humour you never found yourself to laugh at. It was almost like a coping mechanism, coming to terms with the whole ordeal in a way that wouldn't be so heartbreaking.

Maybe the reason Peter only did joke about it was to help you get over him because he can only ever see you as a friend, and he wanted you to see it as well.

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - all these kisses Korea, are you feeling okay?

Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized sorta by favs in each category.

Sept 2023 Wk 2

Ongoing Series - Thai

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 5 of 12 - I did think the sketch was done AFTER they’d become lovers. Meanwhile, I do enjoy the creepy slipping through time moments, adds nicely to the tension. I’m sublimely uninterested in all the hets but that's normal for me. Bit of a slow episode, but I'm looking forward to next week. 

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 5 of 12 - Cohabitation trope activated. Also "lovable grandma" is a new BL archetype I can get behind. Honestly PerthChimon's dynamic is good, it’s fun to watch a Thai BL where the leads are actually both stellar actors. There’s no stilted awkwardness to their dialogue back & forth or other interactions. I also like having MarcPuwin back on my screen. NO DAMN SINGING. Finally a fun twist on the faen fatale. 

Hidden Agenda (Sun YT) ep 10 of 12 - I like that we’re seeing actual realistic consequences of coming out. Not the big parental freak out, but the small nasties of opening up as an everyday queer. This is rare in BL.  

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 3 of 8 - Lap sitting, lots of kissing, one arm counter lift - thank you, boys. Stupid tiny dog (not a euphemism). Is it just me or does Max look extra pretty these days? Anygay, it’s all quite silly and I'm mildly enjoying it.  

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 11 of 12 - I remain enamored of Big Daddy & the Hot Doc but nothing else. 

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 3 of 10 eps - Their history and the consequences of the confession to their friendship all seems a little sad & cruel. But also it’s just this pulp, ya know? 

(10 points to the True Geek who gets that reference.)

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 6 of 10 - I want Mew’s moms’ story as a GL. (Not from this team, of course.) Ah even Sand can be a lying creep, best not to like anyone in this show... frankly, best just not to like this show. And ya know what, I'm pretty sure I really don't.

Could I make something clear? You can’t "steal a lover from someone." That's puerile thinking. That lover wants to go. It’s the lover’s fault (if anyone) not the one who stole that lover, no matter how much an asshole Top is. Sand’s ex is at fault, not Top. And screw Sand for thinking that way. Like his ex wasn't a whole person in their own right capable of making decisions?

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 3-4 Marry Go Round of 24 eps - The premise of this is dumb. The pair is fun. They still kiss great. The actors are good. Crap story. What can you do? Don’t watch it. 5/10 

I need to rewatch Destiny Seeker now. 

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 5 of 10 - Omg. Too stupid to live. Why am I still watching this? How many more? Ugh. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Why R U? (Korea Wed iQIYI) eps 7-8fin - SaifahZon (no matter what country) are probably the softest enemies to lovers ever put on screen. Yes they are very cute and I like them better than the original. However, no one can out do ZeeSaint for the count down kiss on the rooftop. All in all, I enjoyed the final 2 eps, very cute. I liked this BL a lot but I’d love to know what somebody thought who hadn’t seen the original.

Ultimately, what can I say about Why R U? Korea?

Korea decided to remake, of all possible Thai BLs, Why RU? And that is exactly what we got: a short form, clean & pretty, uneven chemistry, slightly confusing, all the same tropes KBL that kind of cliff-noted the original but with none of the heat or complex relationship dynamics. I just … what world is this? Because it is BOTH bizarro land, and EXACTLY what I expected. How do I rate something like that? In the end I have to go back to simple questions: did I like it, would I rewatch it, and would I recommend it? Yes. Probably. And probably not. What the actual hell reality? 8/10 

You Are Mine (Taiwan Fri Gaga) eps 1-2 of 10 - Office romance, broken-grumpy + innocent-sunshine. (Also cutie devil meets angel bestie hotties.) Gotta say, Taiwan is awfully good at moments of recognition. I sense some whipping boy and obsession incoming, looks good on you, Taiwan. Do I like it? Of course I like it! 

Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 5 of 13(?) - Taiwan never met a trope it didn’t wanna play with. Teacher student + secret relationship, there’s only one bed but they slept together on the floor anyway... it’s a trope gum ball machine. I'm not mad, a bit confused, but who cares.

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 5 of 8 - Uh-oh baby is sad. Yo is such a drama queen - I respect that in a boy. Also, I love it that W took it as and excuse to play Real Boyfriends. Also leaning v obsessive stalker there Japan. As expected you had to go there. Carry on, you do (and track on your creep app) you.

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) ep 11 of 12 - Ugh. I kind of enjoyed seeing Minato in pain and having to work for the relationship for a change. But that’s just because I’m so frustrated with his character this season and I want him to SUFFER. Sides are cute tho. I like them better this season. 

It's Airing But...

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - I just can’t. The sound. DNF 

Bump Up Business AKA Bump Up Project (Korea movie) original cinema release was 9/15 but MDL indicates it's been moved to October so I'll shift my dates. Last status update. Love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency (based on a webtoon). Kpop boy group OnlyOneOf signed on to star. They’ve been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV series in this post. It’s from Idol Romance who will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You).

In case you missed it?

What Did You Eat Yesterday? is now available on Gaga. If you enjoyed Our Dining Table, you will enjoy this. 

I did a quick analysis of 2 different acting styles based on these 2 boys here.

Boyband, I finally watched the 6 eps that are available. It aired earlier this year and was hard to find. For good reason it turns out. Yes it’s about a Thai boyband so I skipped all the singing bits. I like the actor playing Juju (Brothers). Also hi Art, are you actually ageless? Lots of other familiar faces popped up like Copter, Max, Fluke. It actually started as a solid little story (if not much of a romance). The stuff with the organizers was v boring and there were 2 het sides but the rest of it was palatable. Operative word being was. Something happened around ep 3, like they lost funding as well as distribution and it just... fizzled. No real ending, no character dev, no story resolution, just blank. It’s like it DNF’d itself. 3/10 I don’t know what I just watched and neither does it. 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Still To Come In September

9/26 I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one who’s good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the other’s side, but not together in the way they truly want to be. No matter how hard they try, their hearts cannot reach each other.

9/27 Absolute Zero (Thai iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally bring us this “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance. We don’t always get HEAs from them, so I'm on my guard.

9/27 Bon Appetit (Korea iQIYI) - from 2022, 8 eps from GoGo Studio, romance between an office worker who lives off junk food and the man next door who cooks well.

9/? Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam YouTube?) - it's Vietnam so your guess is as good as mine.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Just look at the PRETTY! His makeup is flawless this series. I don't know who GMMTV hired new for makeup recently, but this ain't Thai style, this genius trained at the feet of Korea's finest. You keep that bitch (hon. gender nu) around, GMMTV, ya hear? (Hidden Agenda)

Gah, I love Yai so much. He tries so hard. He's such a sweet earnest character. He's like the angel-baby opposite of Chan (devil-baby) but they both my 2023 babies. (I Feel You Linger in the Air)

You know I love it when a BL gets meta about tropes. Here's Why R U?K calling out enemies to lovers.

Kabedon!

Yes we like all the snacks, thank you Korea. Your BL is basically snack food anyway. I'm not mad about it.

SWITCHES! I love it when we get this kinda thing. (All Why R U? Korea)

It me in all horror movies and whenever a boy starts to sing in a BL. (Venus in the Sky)

(Last week) 

[charlidos]

Since I'm going through everything about Viggo & Orlando anyway, I might as well bring out the gossip that used to surround them. I don't put a lot of trust in blind items from Ted at E!Online and it's impossible to know if he actuallly had any real intel, or if it was just idle gossip about popular celebs. But it does say one thing for certain: that this was something people talked about back then (in 2004, mostly). That it wasn't just the "Viggorli tinhats" talking. And that, in itself, is interesting.

And I think it's beyond doubt that it WAS Orlando and Viggo that he was talking about here. Regardless if the gossip was true.

From 2004:

We still need to zero in on Grimy Gus and Harland Fuss (or as they're known to their most secretive of buds, Gussy 'n' Fussy). G. 'n' F. have been on location recently. Well, one of them has, at least. Don't think too many folks know that Fuss has joined his good bud Gus for a little mattress messin'. Look, I'm the first to give a hearty shout-out to two guys who want to do what they want, sexually speaking. But when both--all right, make that one--of these men go to great lengths to make the public believe he's bedding down with rising supersweet starlet Eartha Bertha, well then, I get a little pissy. Although it sure was romantic when Gus 'n' Fuss went to such a Secret Service-defying to-do while Gus was out of the States (in a film-friendly environment) making his latest butch-it-up celluloid job. Public lobby and elevator trips at the sumptuous Springtime Suites hotel with Fuss 'n' Eartha were arranged. Photographers just happened to be around, sorta the same way Rock Hudson lived his whole fake life. But I'm getting terribly off the point here, aren't I?

At this time, Orlando was (very) publically dating "starlet" Kate B, and Viggo was filming History of Violence (playing a "butch" character) in Canada. And they were both at the Toronto film festival that year, where this supposed secret romp happened. Also, the nicknames seems to refer to the whole "Prissy elf" and "Filthy human" thing they had going on the set of LotR. And during LotR PR, there was very inane gossip about Viggo seeing L, a woman around O's age, but that they broke up because V didn't care about his personal hygiene. If you look at gossip rags from around 2002-3, it was mentioned a lot...

So yeah, no doubt that it's O, V and K referred to. It's generally considered a "solved" blind. Again, doesn't mean the gossip is true.

In 2010, Ted mentioned HF again, just around when Orlando got married. In this one, there's no mention of "Gus", so of less interest to me. It's all about HF being bi, and how he and his newly wedded wife got hitched because they both needed a career boost (and HF needing a "beard"). A whole lot of nothing really. But again, quite obviously referring to Orlando.

More interesting to me, but also a bit more confounding, are some questions answered around 2009/2010:

Dear Ted: Since you dusted off the old Harland Fuss B.V., can you give us an update on his relaysh with Gus, please? Are they still together? If not, who broke up with whom? And who is Fussy seeing on the DL, then, if not Gussy? —Agusta Dear Gus Who: Long over, babe. Too bad, too, because they were way too hot together, but it was always more of a short-term (very) steamy hookup sitch. Neither dude expected a serious relaysh to come of it, just sex, sex and, oh yeah, more sex. Dear Ted: This is a question about an old blind item that I don't expect you'll answer but I thought I'd give it a shot. Are Harland Fuss and Grimy Gus still together? —Silver Dear Oldie: No. Nor were they ever. Dear Ted: Has Viggo Mortensen ever been a B.V.? I absolutely love him, and he did spend several years with those B.V.-worthy Hobbits in Middle Earth. Did they rub off on him? —LOTR Lover Dear Viggo Go Go: Oh, yeah. One of my (and readers') all-time favorites!

Again, quite clear this blind item was about Orlando and Viggo. This idea that they were just meeting to hook up, short-term (not sure if it's short term as in short meetings, or if it's short in terms of how long this relationship went on), feels a bit off for these two. But it fits that they lost touch (as per Orlando himself) sometime after 2008 or so. And what do I know, really?

No one but them knows. I'm just here, speculating wildly and letting my imagination run free.

(And I looks like I need to keep posting about them - until I've completely exhausted the subject. Or myself. Or tumblr.)

[slashingdisneypasta]

You've been sending me perfect asks on my blog... So now I shall retaliate >:) (I know you probably know who this is, but I got too embarrassed to send this from my normal blog and I couldn't figure out how to switch blogs for asks 😅)

- Freddy lightly dragging his blades over your shoulders and back to get a reaction out of you. He can use his dream magic to control how sharp the blades are (I hope) so it can be completely safe texture play.

- (im mot sure exactly how you feel about Audrey... But i do know you like their voice~) Audrey II crooning and sweet talking to you while you're trying to do your work. They can't exactly sneak up behind you and whisper in your ear, but that doesn't mean they don't can't make you flustered with what they say.

- You're on a hunting trip with Jim Bickerman and whoever else is with him. You all settle down for the night, but there seems to not be enough tents for all of you. There's only one tent left, and you and Jim are the only ones who don't have one yet... And that old man is looking at you with that damn smirk of his, "Well, ain't this quite the predicament sweetheart~?"

- Being in a relationship with Wheezy and Greasy... And they both get ~in the mood~ at the same time. How would you go about this?

- Cruella designing specific outfits she wants to see you in, just for you... Including clothes to wear when you're supposed to be waiting for her~

I wanted to add more... But I ran out of ideas XD I hope you like these 😏 XD

AHHH! Yes!! I am so glad you have been enjoying my asks!! Their will be more!! And thankkkk you so much for these <3<3 I HAD to write some of them XDD Just like, excerpts ^^

Includes/Warnings:

Audrey II x Reader- Voice kink, sexual references, human/plant relations, manhandling, and someeee... touching. 🙃🙃🙃😅 (Not explicit)

Cruella De Vil x AFAB!Reader- ... you must know at this point I cannot hold myself back with Cruella XD 😅 So this one is explicit... It describes pictures she has drawn of you in those outifts... and in some particular positions.

Greasy Weasel x AFAB!Fem!Reader x Wheezy Weasel- Threesome!! Cunt eating (Greasy) and dirty talk/teasing (Wheezy). Also I think reader is in some sorta space. Tiny bit of a sharp teeth kink. R e a l l y explicit.

Jim Bickerman x Fem!Reader- Established relationship, semi-public sexual shenanigans, getting caught (Semi-explicit)

Audrey II:

"Y/N... " A vine moseys over to your desk after a short amount of silence and prods the squishy area of skin at your middle, and you respond by wrapping your arm around your tummy; Not looking over at the overgrown Venus fly trap. Not paying them any of the attention they crave. "baby... doll... watcha doin'?"

"Working, Audrey, shush." You keep your voice even, which you know will drive them crazy, and continue writing.

"Shu- Me?? Oh no, darlin', I don't think so!~ " The vine that poked at your tummy fat lifts towards your desk instead, then- but you push it away before he can snatch your homework away. They gasp. "Excuse me??"

"I'm really busy right now, I'll entertain you later."

For a moment they manage to stay quiet, but you can practically feel the cogs turning in their brain. You know your study time is not going to last long. "... Hmmm... " He hums, the sound sending a little shameful tingle all the way through you; Making you squeeze your eyes closed for a moment and cross one leg over the other, before refocusing on your work. No, no. The damn plant will not distract you today. You have got to get this essay done!! "I gotta say baby... I have to disagree with you~ "

"Good thing you don't get a say- " You're cut off when 4 vines wrap around the legs of your chair and suddenly tear you around to face him; dragging you closer and closer in the chair towards the corner Audrey lives in. Theirs a big smirk on the horrible fauna's huge mouth, and you know you have to get out now. Quickly you hop off the chair and rush back to your desk, gathering up your things in your arms. "Audrey, I'm just gonna go study at the library. I'll be back later toni- "

"Oh no no sweetheart~ Not so fast~ " Oh god, the way they call you sweetheart has you freezing totally still for a moment-

-And that, was all the time Audrey needed to wrap one of their thicker vines around your middle and slowly drag your body towards them this time; Causing you to drop some things, along the way. "Oh!- My stu- "

"Don't worry about it, baby! We're doin' something else, now~ Now c'mon... I wanna see you writhe... "Fuck. "... so go ahead and let go a' those books for me. Let go, baby... " You get the feeling he must mean to let go of more then just your books when he says it like that, but you refuse to let go of anything.

"Audrey, this is important." You beg, holding your books tight against your chest even as he tugs at them from the bottom. "I- "

"Don't you want me to be nice to you??... Y/N, I can be so goddamn nice... You don't know how nice~ I can be to you, yet... But I'll show ya!~ I'll show ya the ropes~ " At that, the vine around your waist shifts upwards a little bit, pulling up your shirt with it, and another vine curls into the waistband of your bottoms. "I can be your best friend, baby!"

Eyes wide, surprised at how this night is progressing and even more horrified that you don't want it to stop- not with Audrey talking to you like this- you let them steal your books and take them away. The huge, inhuman grin on Audrey's 'face' broadens, and that same vine comes back to wrap around your hair and hold it back from your face- and take control over your head. "Ah- "

"Don't worry baby. We're gonna have some fun tonight... just you and me... "

Cruella De Vil:

You hadn't seen this book, before. Which was odd, because Cruella often used the same brand for her sketches- always the same sleek, black leather binding and impossibly crisp paper you're cutting yourself on.

This one was no different. And she dropped it on your desk just the same as she always did, with enough force to send any loose papers flying so she could roll her eyes at you and complain that your desk is a disgusting mess as always. She even told you what you were to do with it, like you hadn't done it a million times before. Like you were unaware of the drill, even at this point. Because apparently you're an idiot.

It was all quite normal.

That is, until you opened the book so you could make copies of the sketches for manufacturing to keep. Until you looked at the new sketches.

Immediately you thrust the pages hard against your chest as fast as you can, dreading anyone else seeing what you just saw and looking around to make sure that you're alone in the room. Because- porn.

It was porn. There was no other way to describe it, from the... graphic positions the women were in, to the almost lack of clothes entirely. Being Cruella's assistant, you had seen plenty of lingerie sketches before, but they were usually tasteful! These... from what you saw before you hid them, they were just...

Obnoxiously horny.

Eyes wide and nervous, you slowly pull the book away from your chest to look again, so so curious despite your embarrassment and hot cheeks, and- yep. Definitely. Still porn. Cruella De Vil had sat in her glass office today looking oh so professional, and drawn porn.

... You cant stop looking at them. They're great, actually. You can feel your pussy throb, as your thumb runs over the center of a particularly well-done sketch; One where the woman is sat down with her knees spread wide and her head tuned away, eyes closed. Her cunt's open and shaded red, the only colour Cruella has added to the sharp, black-and-white pages.

You're so unbelievably hot at these pictures, just looking at them - distracted by particular parts of them, - , that at first you don't read the labelling at all. Cruella's handwriting in this book is all in cursive, and you have to focus to read it, but when you do begin to go through the notes... you feel yourself get even hotter.

Your name is all over the pages. Y/N in fur, written on top of a woman stood terribly naked, wearing just a fur hat and fur boots. Y/N in silk, written beside the woman with her beautiful red pussy bare on the page and a very shiny silk chemise bunched up around her hips. Y/N in chiffon, written beside a woman wearing just a long chiffon skirt and arms raised away from her confidently bare chest. Y/N in satin, written beside a woman with her hands on her hips, holding a long satin robe back from hiding her body- at all.

Y/N in- Y/N in- Y/N in-

After a while, and your eyes are the size of saucers while your underwear is absolutely soiled, you plop down finally in a chair by the photo copier and turn to the last page. Theirs a sticky note on it, but you peel it off in order to see the final picture, and give a choke gasp at the image Cruella's drawn for you.

An absolutely tasteless picture of a woman - you, - bent over a familiar desk, with your feet spread wide so your ass and cunt are on full display to anyone looking. The angle is from just above, as if you're standing just behind the woman - you, - and she's preparing to take you in. God, you can feel yourself clenching at the sight- the thought- the idea-

Is this what Cruella wants? Does she want you like this? Does she want to fuck you this badly??

As if as an after thought, you look at the sticky note.

Y/N,

My Office. Later tonight after everyone leaves.

Cruella De Vil

Greasy Weasel x Reader x Wheezy Weasel:

You were already with Greasy when Wheezy walked into the room, and he knew damn well what the two of you were up to- he always knew- he just doesn't always want to do it too. He doesn't have as big a drive as the two of you do.

But evidently today is one of the days where he does want to fuck, he is in the mood. This is evident when he walks in and locks the door behind him; not taking his cool eyes, dark with lust, on you with Greasy's mouth moving on- against- around your cunt.

Wheezy's eyes flicker up to your face, raising his brows- as if asking, if theirs room for one more.

You open your mouth to tell him yes, of course, but its Greasy who responds. He didn't see the question Wheezy silently posed, but he can tell since you're not freaking out that someone has come in right now, that it has to be your other boyfriend. He pops his mouth off of you, though he doesn't take his eyes off of it at all, mesmerised by what is definitely one of his favourite things in the world, and instead just moves to rub his thumb against your clit. "Welcome in, el fumador... help yourself~ we're just beginning here... "

... Wheezy smirks, rolling his sleeves up more securely and strolling over to the bed, leaning over you as you move your head to see him. He gives you a little hello kiss when you crane your neck back because he's right beside the bed now, and strokes your hair for a moment.... Then his eyes slide right back down to Greasy and what he's doing to you, and how slick you are, and a mischievous look that makes you even hornier flickers in his eyes. "Really, Grease? Looks like you've been workin' her for- damn. Hours, now. She looks like she's ready to pop."

"I'm just that good, I guess!~ "

"Mhm... "

Needy and non-verbal, you just reach for Wheezy's shirt collar and drag him back down to you and your parted lips as Greasy connects his mouth to you once again; Slipping your tongue immediately into his mouth while your other boyfriend devours your cunt like his favourite meal. You kiss Wheezy with all the want you're feeling, meshing your mouths together slowly but licking his tongue so dirty you would feel embarrassed, if you weren't so close. He reciprocates, easily giving you what you want, taking care of his needy, desperate girl without even touching you anywhere inappropriate.

He pulls away too soon, and you let out a sad little whine, as he brushes a thumb over your lips and gives a smokey chuckle. He's still so close! Why is he doing this?- "Its okay, baby, its alright... we're gonna take care of you... "

"Please- "

"Y'feel Grease down there?? Does that feel good?" Quickly you nod, your fingers still curled around Wheezy's collar. It feels really, really good- his tongue is so deep- "Make sure y'tell him how good he's doing, cutie, he deserves some praise dontcha think??"

Eyes wide, you nod again. Greasy does deserve it. "Its so- so good- "

"Hear that Grease?? So, so good... "

Greasy moans and nods into your most private place and it has you bucking, slapping a hand over your mouth to keep from making a terribly load sound- which just makes him chuckle against you, sharp teeth brushing against your delicate skin.

"Now... lay down, baby. I need a little something, too today. Its been a hard week... " Your eyes slip downwards towards Wheezy's hands as he unbuckles his belt, causing your mouth to actually water. "... and you wanna help me out, dontcha? Yeahhh, I know you do... you're a good baby... " As you nod once again, eager to please, Wheezy gives another smirk; looking down to Greasy. "Isn't she, Grease?"

In responce, Greasy shows you both as he shoves his hand down in his own pants.

Jim Bickerman x Reader:

To your credit, you did try to keep it to a goodnight kiss tonight.

... The key word being try. When you noticed him watching you in that way that reminds you he's a hunter while you were just getting comfy in your sleeping bag, you had asked him what? And when he had acted all innocent like he hadn't been practically licking his chops at you, you explained that you were not having sex in this tent tonight because a. the tent is not sound proof and b. it was inappropriate. The poor men you're camping with did not need to experience that.

And you didn't need to be looking them in the eyes the next day knowing that they are now privy the sound you make when the creepy old man hits that particular spot deep inside you, to be frank.

You even said goodnight, and held the sleeping bag over your head.

But fuckkkkkkkkk you cant help yourself. You're almost as bad as Jim is- actually, scratch that almost. You are as bad. That's why he's so perfect.

All of 2 minutes later, you were giving a groan at your own lack of self control (You've really got to work on that), crawling out of your sleeping bag (Pulling the flannel Jim leant you, or you stole from him, tight around you to shield you from the cold), and finding yourself straddling him. From below he gives a smirk, about to say something like I told you so, or I thought so, or ha ha- but you just silently shake your head at him and lean down to kiss him. Like no- nope. No gloating. If you gloat sir, you die.

For a while its just kissing, his beard rubbing against your face and the brim of his hat grinding into your forehead until you take it off him- chucking to an unknown corner of the tent. This makes him chuckle, as you release his mouth to breath and give him a bemused grin, nose scrunched up slightly at him, before pressing a quick kiss to his cheek and then his clothed shoulder.

He curls his fingers into the loops in your jeans - you hadn't bothered to get changed to go to sleep, it was way too cold, - and tugged your hips against his. "Mmm... I can feel you all hot and throbbing, sweetheart... somethin' you wanna tell me? Maybe you don't think this is so inappropriate??... " When you lift yourself up to give him a deadpanned look, his eyes light up very purposefully and he makes 'oh' sound. "Orr, maybe you like that... "

You just hold up a finger, like quiet, before kissing him again. This time he doesn't let that be it, disconnecting his mouth from yours way too soon in favour of leaning up a little whispering in your ear. "Your mess in your pants is distractin' me. I'm gonna need you to take them off... "

"Hm~" You hum, leaving him and standing up the best you can in the small tent to wriggle out of your jeans, kicking them off into the same corner his hat went so you're left in your shirt and Jim's blue flannel. Jim eagerly undoes his own pants then, too, so when you lower yourself back onto him you can easily access the poor man's painfully hard cock, sitting hot and impatient underneath you, behind cotton boxers. Wow, you think vaguely. He can sure hold himself together well- you didn't think he needed you this badly!! You might have taken mercy on him sooner if you'd known... Well- "... Do you have- "

Before you can even finish the sentence, he's offering you a condom from who-knows-where. It makes you snort as you accept it. "What a gentleman... "

"I do try, pumpkin."

"Okay," You grin, shaking your head and trying to go back to that quiet, purposeful mood from before despite Jim making you smile. "Okay- we doing this?" You're still giggling a little, the heat of the moment and the middle-of-the-night sillies getting to you now. "G'head then, whip it out- "

Suddenly you're cut off- and its not by Jim, or your own giggling. Its by someone outside the tent- "PLEASE, don't!!" They yell suddenly, followed by a couple of others voicing their agreement with grunts and pleases and one particularly pained jesus christ jim, let us sleep!! He sounded like he was in the tent right next door.

"... Oh god- " You start, face heated up like a stove as you pull part of the flannel up to cover your face some, half laughing still from the night-time hysteria and this ridiculous situation, and looking down to connect eyes with Jim.

He looks like he's about to lose his composure, too, and then someone's shoe gets thrown at the side of your tent and you both burst out laughing.

(Annnnnd thank goodness this is finally done- I can go read your Scroop Headcanons now XD)

[ravenbloodshot]

How Enhypen view each other (PT.3)

Jungwon (pov)

Jay

Positive traits: (these two are just co-workers) fast paced, good taste in food/fashion, calm and quiet, can blend in easily, not overly talkative, fun to talk to, knows how to live in the moment, independent, okay with being by himself

Negative traits: greedy(food wise), stubborn, aggressive, out of shape, rude, bad temper, too intense, always ready to fight, not adaptable (doesn't like change/spontaneity), boring, not agreeable

Jake

Heads up:Jungwon views Jake and Jay similarly. He just likes Jake, not so much Jay.

Positive traits: passionate, fights for what he believes in, go getter, (these two are close), takes care of his responsibilities, possessive (I'm not sure why Jungwon likes this), protective of loved ones, adaptable, adventurous

Negative traits: Too fast paced, bad clothing style (bad hygiene), can be too aggressive and head strong, impulsive, hard to talk to, impatient, bad with time, doesn't properly heal himself (like he could injury himself badly , but insist the next day he's fine and can work), over confident

Heesung

Positive traits: Good fashion(styles himself well), smells good, predictable, beautiful eyes, 'heart like a horse', jungwon likes when he's drunk, intuitive, eccentric and creative, open minded, curious, artistic, adventurous, imaginative, other- wordly, leadership qualities, honorable, more powerful/influential than he's aware

Negative traits: too imaginative, up in lala land a lot, childish, petty, bad at arguing his points, gives up too easily, too soft(sees him as feminine but not in a good way), holds himself back, unstable, bad with money, runs from his problems

Sunghoon

Okay. so......the energy here is very interesting. These two don't communicate with each other (its not exactly hostile energy but its not comfortable either between the two of them). Sorta of like Sunghoon never truly tries to get to know Jungwon so Jungwon opts out of trying to get to know Sunghoon (but he secretly wishes to find out more about the guy)

Positive traits: (these two are just co-workers) perceptive, soft skin, smells good, small face, independent, nice voice, intuitive, mysterious, finds him to be very handsome (very), lucky and fortunate, secretive, risk taker, smart, wealthy

Negative traits: mysterious, closed off, secretive, Protective of his real personality/identity(only a selective few gets to experience the true Sunghoon and jungwon isn't one of them), beautiful and model-like(Jungwon's energy seems to be a bit jealous so I'll stop here)

Honestly this is my first time feeling this strange vibe for two idols in a long time, how Jungwon views Sunghoon is quite weird(I may do a separate reading on this, it really peaked my curiosity)

Niki

Positive traits: Looks soft but is really tough, surprising and unpredictable, garners attention easily, nice and slim body, Flexible, charismatic, easy to get along with (they're close), easy to vibe with

Negative traits: sensitive (anger wise), too perceptive, reads others almost too well, lazy, doesn't help out around the dorms as much as others, Shares others secrets that he doesn't deem as serious secrets, holds on to his past, doesn't like to share his culture with the others

Sunoo

Positive traits: ditches toxic people/habits, not afraid to walk away from situations not working out for him, small/cute, active, talkative, fun to chat and gossip with, exciting, has an exciting personal life and dating life, dates interesting people

Negative traits: self esteem issues, unrealistic expectations, blinded by his own emotions/thoughts often, gets into toxic relationships, fast paced, too active and reactive, moves on too quickly, impatient, self centered

Sunoo (pov)

Jay

Positive traits: His gut feeling is right a lot of the times, not afraid to call out hypocrisy/ stupidity, beautiful voice, (something on Jay's body is small that he likes), learns his lesson, stops toxic patterns, admirable, gentleman, knows when to let go

Negative traits: too intense, not fun to talk to, doesn't like to gossip, keeps unruly hair(may not shave enough), preachy, thinks he's too good to do certain things, standoffish, cynical, pessimistic about finding true love, doesn't party (even though he gets invited to A LOT of them)

Jake

Positive traits: Head strong, go getter, stubborn, decisive, manly, aggressive, intense, fiery, feisty, spontaneous, adventurous, all action no talk, constantly improving and changing himself (stays in the studio longer than others)

Negative traits: not sensitive and caring enough, not sweet or gentle, bad with small talk, doesn't know how to network with people he doesn't like, player, too sexual, sleeps with too many women, non committal

Heesung

Positive traits: (Sunoo likes him a lot), leadership qualities, responsible, caring of others (silently), manly, does what he has to even when he doesn't want to, wakes up easily(even when its super early), calm, fatherly, good style and good hygiene, overcomes his obstacles

Negative traits: passive-aggressive (or just plain aggressive at times), too emotion driven or in the moment motivated, sneaky, sly, non committal even though he wants commitment, scary when upset (especially his eyes), doesn't believe in marriage

Sunghoon

Positive traits: (Sunoo and Jungwon talk about him not in a good or bad way) Star power, eccentric, beautiful, doesn't disclose his secrets, mysterious, protective of his energy/space, unpredictable, independent, doesn't need to be in a relationship, lets love come to him, has a loving family dynamic

Negative traits: Impassive, detached, cold but cute, Doesn't appreciate his family as much as he should (or just doesn't realize how loving they are compared to other member's families), over works himself, too giving with money, doesn't have good stamina nor thought out plans

Niki

Positive traits: hard worker, loyal, serious about getting his job done, reliable, independent, knows what he wants

Negative traits: pushes people away, lashes out on others, aggressive, rude, blunt and sarcastic, has a nasty attitude (moody teenager vibe), hard to relate to and get along with

Jungwon

Positive traits: loyal, hard worker, cute, enjoys nature, environmentalist, good memory, takes good selfies, good performer

Negative traits: TOO perceptive and analytical, stalker, aggressive, when upset spits fire in his speech, curses like a sailor, verbally aggressive, so serious about planning for marriage but doesn't date enough, cold and can hits a persons deepest insecurity when upset

[misc-obeyme]

Asmo as someone who figures it out was something I haven't thought of! Fascinating! Is it because he likes to sort of learn someone's habits?

Me personally, if someone starts treating me differently without my request, I will get pissed. If my own family forgets that I can't hear certain shit, they have no reason then to treat me differently. To 🦊 anon: If someone says I am hard of anything, they will get hit with a hard cover book. I will ignore though, if I only partly heard ya. CC I read your answer before, regarding how you feel towards Solomon role is the whole NB plot, but how about Barb's? It seems to me like he knows that mc is from the future, yet will not admit it or even discuss it? Did you have another unhinged CC rant about it? Cuz I will read. Have a great day! -🐆

The thing about Asmo in my opinion is that he's actually quite intuitive when he takes the time to focus on someone outside of himself. He always says that he's never cared about anyone as much as himself except for MC. So I kinda think he would pay particular attention to MC and thus pick up the clues that others might miss. I also feel like Asmo is one of the few characters who doesn't get flustered to some degree when MC gets close to him. (Belphie is this way too so he might also pick it up.) So when they're having one on one conversations or Asmo might also just realize that ignoring people doesn't fit MC's personality (if it does then he might not figure it out as easily lol). But these are just my ideas on his character! I feel like a lot of this nuance doesn't really exist in the game and some of it I've kinda just elaborated on in my own headcanon lol.

That makes sense, pretty sure I'd get pissed off about that, too. I like to think most of the characters, if they figured it out, would ask you about it directly before starting to act differently. Some of them might just jump the gun on that, but if you got upset with them, they'd stop right away.

Ah... now I'm a touch confused about the correct terms... but usually it's my policy to use the same language as the person I'm talking to, since that would clearly be their preference.

You know, I don't think I have an unhinged Barbatos rant that's specifically about his role in Nightbringer. I looked in the masterlist and the archive, but it was all just sorta embedded in my rants about Solomon lol.

I've definitely said in one or more of my lesson recap posts that I think Barbatos knows everything. Mostly because he often did things that felt like proof to me, so I'd point them out. But I don't think I elaborated all that much on it? Not in just one post, anyway.

I have several posts about why I love Barbatos in general lol. But maybe I should write one about how I feel about Nightbringer Barb specifically? Mostly I think he knows everything, but won't talk about it, just like you say. I mean, he doesn't even act like he doesn't know what's going on. When he tells MC "welcome home" at the HoL even though they don't live there and he's like ah yes... or the time he gave MC a page from his grimoire to deal with Belphie as if he knew they would need it shortly?? Yeah. He knows and he's not hiding it. It's more like he's blatantly keeping a secret, you know?

But they never give us the chance to confront him about it and that's the most annoying part for both him and Solomon, imo.

Like I would not have just been like oh okay taking your word for it, whatever you guys say. No, I would be demanding answers from both of them wayyyy before now.

Anyway, I better stop before this post becomes an unhinged CC rant.

[findafight]

i do want catws opinions!! so much!!! mcu cap am was one of my major interests for quite some time, so i am Very interested! tbh don't much care for the rest of the mcu all that much, like ive seen quite a few of the movies but absolutely far from all of them. and like tbh i cared the most about catfa & catws and then steve and his relationship with people, idk i just love his character so much, I've done some sort of analysis inside my head of his character, but it's been A While so i don't remember any of it in words, just vibes lol. also idk how i feel about cacw, it just sorta didn't feel like His story, it felt more like avengers 2.5 or smth.

also related to steve & peggy, i feel like the thing that makes their story stay so strong Is the missed opportunity, the longing for something that can never be. it's this thing that was on the brink of possibility, and where the potential was so big and tangible, and they both felt it, and then all of a sudden the possibility is gone, it's lost, forever. idk like i think steve going back in time to dance with peggy would be sweet, But, it just doesn't move me as much unless peggy also knows that the moment is a promise fullfilled and a dream that can never be, it's one more aching moment together and then it's goodbye. idk like i thought the scene in endgame when they danced was absolutely beautiful, but to me it is a dream, and to me it feels kinda disrespectful to all of them(steve peggy & bucky) to have steve go backwards, that's not him, maybe when he first woke up after the ice, if presented with the possibility he wouldn't be able to resist, but otherwise his character is LITERALLY about getting back up again!! and then also peggy had a life?? with someone else!! and she was happy with her life! he literally knows this, he talked to her when she was old! why would he disregard that?? and then why would he live the rest of his life knowing bucky is the winter soldier and then NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT????????? idk it's just like, when SO MUCH of steves story is so closely intertwined with bucky it just doesn't make any sense to leave him??

also while i am a romantic stucky believer, truly more than that i am a soulmates stucky believer! so the stobin tws au really really hit me in the feels yk.

Okay so. What makes CAWS so good, and one of the best mcu films, is that it uses superheroes not as a genre, but as a vehicle for a genre. Winter Soldier is a spy thriller. Arguably TFA also does this by being a war film? But WS embraces it. It's so clearly a spy thriller with a superhero setting! More superhero movies should have co-genre I think. It can be watched as a stand alone, with good solid introductions to characters, to the point that it's bascially the only mcu movie I've watched with my mother that she hasn't asked "who's that?" and why they were doing stuff. Basically every other one, besides the first in their series require prior knowledge of characters for most of the impact of them.

WS doesn't? We see Steve and Natasha have a friendly relationship, that steve's a supersoldier and also takes risks (no parachute), that they're some kind of soldiers, that there's some secret operations going on. We get this! Then we meet Sam and we see that Steve is also incredibly lonely, we see him at the Howling Commandos exhibit, and sure maybe it's hamfisted by focusing on bucky or whatever but that sets it up! we now who steve is, why he's lonely, and some of his values.

and even without TFA, as soon as the mask comes off, we know this is someone steve knows. When he insists on saving Bucky, he uses the line "even when I had nothing, I had Bucky" having watched tfa before just makes it hit harder.

I'm going to be real with you I've watched civil war once and was like "this is kinda stupid? very stupid" and then stopped really paying attention to most marvel movies.

oh yes so true about Steve and Peggy. It's compelling because the could have beens. If that had happened, but then steve went back to present, I would not be mad. It wouldn't be weirdly stealing someone else's life? Especially combined with the Agent Carter Tv series, Peggy has closure for Steve's death. Though it's still an ache, and she mourns and misses him, she's still living her life. She isn't caught up on him as a romantic interests. She has multiple (they should have given us more cartinelli tbh we were robbed in s2) in the series! She had a good, long, and happy life. Steve just dropping in sometime in the 40s(?) with the expectation of pursuing a romantic relationship with her would likely be a shock, and unwanted. They both would have changed from where they left off, both having mourned each other and their relationship. It wouldn't have worked! But to have him drop in. tell her "hey. I can't stay for long. I'm sorry it has to be this way. But I owe you a dance, and it's been killing me breaking a promise to my best girl." That!!! would have!! been! so sweet! A final goodbye for both of them. The final closure and fulfilled promise from oh so long ago.

Steve had spent at least ten years out of the ice before endgame. I just. How could they slide him back to what he would have done directly after being thawed? Like I don't think even lost sadman beginning of ws steve would have stayed back. He's changed and he can't go back to what things were. he keeps getting up, even when he shouldn't! That's what's endearing about Steve, his stubbornness, and his willingness to put himself on the line to protect people. That's why he was the first and only (official) American supersoldier. He carries on, even when it's almost unbearable for him to do so.

It's so... It felt cheap and insulting to him and Peggy and Bucky. Because you're correct!! It means Steve went back to nineteen fourty-whatever and chose not to do anything about the 80+ years of horrible things that happened in the world. Especially chose not to do anything when he knew exactly where Bucky, who he had previously jumped behind enemy lines with nothing but a wing a prayer and a shield to save, who he had defied governments for, who he's nearly died for multiple times, was??? how in the WORLD did the same screenwriters and directors who made one of the best marvel movies that highlighted and used their friendship in such a compelling way also write/direct that for them? how? valuing romance over any other kind of relationship I guess?

yeah I think what's compelling about stucky is that there is so much love there, that they've known each other for their whole lives, and will continue to be (or should be) a vast part of each other's worlds no matter what that relationship looks like. They're soulmates, whatever that looks like for them. and if it's romance then that romance is built upon the deep devoted friendship they have. That's everything about them. Everything is built on a sickly and scrappy kid who couldn't leave well enough alone and got pushed into the dirt by bullies he stood up to over, and over, and over again, and some charming schmuck who looked at him and thought "I'm gonna help him keep get back up". to the point where they broke over half a century of brain washing because of it.

[idv-sweethearts]

I loved your ithaqua hcs… the way you write him feels so accurate!! Looking forward to seeing more of your writing ^-^❤️

Thank you. I try to analyze the characters before I write for them. I want to get an idea of their thought processes and beliefs and such before I write for them. It's very important to me that I portray characters in a way that is as accurate as possible.

It seems to me that while Ithaqua has rejected society and humanity, the society he has rejected is one that jumps to conclusions, has pointless rules, and promotes cruelty. The barbaric philosophy he has chosen to adopt seems like it promotes being kind, gentle, and protective towards those who you are on good terms with, but hostile and violent with those who might cause pain to you and your loved ones.

The wiki says he tends to toy with those who enter the forest, but sadism would be counterproductive. So I've speculated, and there is little evidence to back this up, that he doesn't actually feel like killing them most of the time. All the traps and taunting is a warning and if they're so determined to be in the woods despite the cold and the traps and the obvious danger, how good could their intentions be? This "toying" is, in his mind, a test to determine how good these people are. And while there are some flaws in his logic, the people he's killing are likely part of the same village full of people that either tortured his mother or sat on their asses and watched it happen. I don't blame him for being hostile, considering what he's witnessed.

Additionally, there is a line of dialogue on the wiki that I don't have context for because I'm new to the fandom and I wasn't there for it, but he sorta threatens the audience for equating barbarism with stupidity. But the way he goes about the threat is more of a warning, in my opinion. He doesn't say he will get get violent because they've already made him mad, but rather because if they continue to be ignorant, they will make him mad. The audience is being given a chance to correct their behavior before he gets violent.

Also, it's noted that a few people have survived the hunting attempts I mentioned before. If he wanted them dead, he'd have killed them immediately. And I have to point out, why would a village full of judgemental witch hunters ever see his tests and mercy as anything more than torment that they've miraculously escaped? Furthermore, his gameplay abilities have nothing to with tormenting his prey in a manner that they can escape if they pray hard enough. His abilities, in a scenario where he has a reason to kill, are extremely direct. He can move quickly and pull Survivors closer to him. No traps, no toying, and no messing around. Just quick and efficient murder attempts. Animals typically don't kill without reason or act more cruel than needed. That's a trait that is most commonly seen in humans, and that aspect of humanity is the very thing he's rejected.

I've also considered that it might be a Sweeney Todd "Epiphany" situation, where he considers everyone to be either too terrible to deserve living or so miserable that killing them would be mercy, but his mother is extremely miserable and she's probably still alive, so that can't be the case.

Speaking of his mother, he takes care of her and does so quite well, considering he's been able to keep her alive. I've noted that in the official art where they were near eachother, he seems to be close enough to her for to know he's there (And I'm sure she is way too deep into dissociation to be too responsive to her environment), but far enough away that she has her personal space and she won't freak out. That tells me he's observant and careful, which is further backed up by the fact that he canonically knows how to hunt. To hunt, you must be able to observe your prey and act accordingly or you won't catch much of anything. He's able to read people's body language and facial expressions quite well, it seems. I mean, he's able to read the body language and facial expressions of a woman who is barely mentally there and has been rendered almost completely mute due to trauma.

I also think one's status means nothing to him. To him, you're both just beings with thoughts, feelings, and free will. You both have the ability to do everything right and everything wrong. If you want to get close to him in any manner, take inspiration from his mother and be kind to others, gather evidence before condemning someone, and don't accept any cruelty, whether it be directed at yourself or someone else. That shows that despite your ability to be cruel, you still choose to be kind and treat others with fairness.

Note that his concept of what is fair has been warped by trauma. He sees condemning people for made-up witchcraft to be wrong and ignorant, but has no issue with killing people for being in the forest for too long. Some of the people he's killed might be totally innocent, but he's judging them based on how fast they leave the forest once they realize they're being hunted, because if they really want to be there that badly, they must have reasons and those reasons must be bad. And a person with bad intentions can never be allowed anywhere near his mother. She's been through enough and he'd rather test, scare, and more than likely kill a thousand people before he lets her feel any more pain.

[delafiseaseses]

Beatrix Russell's insights

Beatrix Russell, I'm sure most Fallout New Vegas players know her, but when was the last time y''ad a proper conversation with her? I should also say we ay gonna be analysing 'er recruitment into the Wrangler's employment 'ere or her sexual side (mostly, it'll come up a bit).

Beatrix's Advice

Beatrix offers a lot of insights into Freeside and also offers a few bits of advice. We'll start wi' those for structure all of these responses come from saying 'Got any advice to share?' I'll be honest wi' ya, the 'these are reffrence to X' I'm gonna be sayin' is jus' Wiki information. But I'll also provide me opinions on the quotes.

"Feed a man for free, and he'll be back asking for more. Feed a man a bullet. You won't hear from him again."

That's certainly true, and pretty applicable in the Wasteland, I s'pose.

"Good, bad... The guy with the gun makes the rules."

That's a reference to the movie Army of Darkness and the line 'Good...bad...I'm the guy with the gun.' and, apparently, that's also something John Browning said possibly? Reportedly, anyway. Still, also applicable in the Wasteland (and, if we go metaphorical, applicable to most authority). Personally, I think 'good' isn't applicable when anyone makes rules with the authority of 'gun'.

"Time you enjoy wasting isn't wasted time."

This is an adaption of the quote 'The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.' by Bertrand Russell. The wiki points out the fact that they're both B. Russells, which is pretty curious. The quote itself I agree with (naturally, I mean, why else would I be doin' this? Hahahaa.) and is probably important to consider as someone as old as Beatrix.

"The only thing I know for certain is that I don't know nothing."

That's a pretty famous one, even wi'out the Wiki tellin' me I know that's Socrates accordin' t' Plato. Let's not get too deep into this 'un. Unlike the last two I see no particular relevance to Wasteland life and, quite frankly, this isn't even advice, Beatrix.

"Longing makes the heart grow fonder, but I've always been a fan of hog-tying my lovers to make sure they can't escape."

I'm sure that's advice to people who're into that sorta thing, but I'm very much not the target audience for it (bein' a proud aroace repulsed at the very idea of engaging personally in such acts). Still, maybe someone over the years has gotten into BDSM because the Ghoul Cowgirl who's name rhymes with 'dominatrix' an' good for that 'ypothetical person.

So, in review, some advice that makes sense in the Wasteland, some philosophy and a bit of oversharing that I s'pose could work as foreshadowing of her future profession in a lot of playthroughs. Let's get t' the juicy stuff now, the reason I decided t' make this.

Beatrix's on the History Freeside

Yes, this is the excitin' part. We'll start wi' the start 'Tell me about Freeside.'

"What starts in misery tends to stay there. Freeside wasn't Freeside until six or seven years ago. That's when Mr. House's robots rolled out of the Lucky 38 and started pushing everyone who wouldn't join him off the Strip. Lots of folks died. Some scattered to the winds. The rest wound up in Freeside and seem never to lose the habit of living like refugees."

Things like this, it puts it all into perspective Freeside, The Strip, Hell even Westside and North Vegas Square am all recent developments. The walls an' divisions aren't even 10 years old. Robert Edwin House created modern New Vegas through violence. We have no idea how many people were killed by it, what 'a lot' means here, but think about it this way: there's a good chance that everywhere on The Strip that ain't the Lucky 38 were all inhabited by people who were either killed or displaced by House less than 10 years prior to the game. That is t' say The Tops, Gomorrah, The Ultra-Luxe, the NCR Embassy an' Military Police HQ and even Michael Angelo's Workshop all were potential homes to people who's lives are now lost to time.

There were people already in Freeside, the buildings and streets not claimed by House, that's why you'll meet many people who are 'Freeside Locals' and have been far longer than 7 years, but as Beatrix said, Freeside as we know it wasn't the Freeside before House. None of the three families lived in those casinos (the Boot-Riders weren't even stationary before becoming The Chairmen). The place was created in an act of miserable violence by House.

Beatrix's Views of Factions

Now for faction opinions. After hearing Beatrix's statements about Freeside's violent and very recent founding we can ask 'What about The Kings?'

"What about them? Pretty much the sort of gang you'd find anywhere else, just with better clothes. The King himself, though? He's got that something special you can't put a finger on. Too bad he likes girls with skin."

I'm not 100% sure if Beatrix knows that last part or presumes it, regardless she overall has a rather cynical view on The Kings as 'just another gang'. An', y'know, while they do have points over a lot of nastier gangs, I'm gonna guess 'Gang as de facto government' is a very common arrangement throughout the entire Wasteland. The Kings isn't the worst bunch in the world and The King is a flawed idealist, but its worst tendencies, encouraged by Pacer and its other more nationalistic and violent members certainly makes them not as clean as I'm sure many see 'em. Still, the gimmick is fun (I bet Beatrix even knows who Elvis is).

'What do you think of the NCR?'

"I reckon they care about getting water and electricity from the dam, and that's where it ends. The locals here are just an inconvenience to them, something to step over or stomp down. They're here for the resources, plain and simple."

Beatrix is correct. Here's a link to Colonel James Hsu sayin' as much an' gettin' called an imperialist bastard by me due to it.

'What's your opinion of Mr. House?'

"Before or after the human race shot itself in the foot? I been around long enough to have both opinions, see. Before the war, Mr. House was a famous captain of industry - robotics, to be specific. Seemed charming in interviews, until he became a recluse. Since the war, though? Didn't make a peep for near two hundred years - but when he came back, he came back strong and killed a lot of people."

Some stuff we already knew there. Unlike Raul, Beatrix is 100% convinced and aware about House bein' House. Beatrix don't actually say her opinion on modern House, but the implication in the way she highlighted that he killed a lot of people 7-8 years ago says all that needs t' be said. She also revealed that House preparing for the War was noticed by the public.

'What do you think of the Followers of the Apocalypse?'

"I don't know how they do it. They're like saints, those Followers. If they didn't charge for their services, I'd think they was crazy. But no, they're just naive. Warms your heart."

Beatrix is a bit of a cynical person, as one would expect from someone who saw the War, saw the next 200 years, saw Mr House's rise and is aware of the intentions of the NCR. So, it's nice to see her have a bit of fondness for the Followers even if she sees them as naïve.

'What do you know about the Van Graffs?'

"A couple of Radscorpions, those two. Gloria is the stable one, but she'd slit your throat if there's a profit in it. Or rather she'd tell her brother to do it for her. Jean Baptiste is one of the sicker humans I've had the displeasure of observing."

Hmm, pretty comprehensive view. Wonder if she ever did any work for the Van Graffs from this view. Prob'ly not, actually, I'm gonna guess she just means she's seen Jean-Baptiste bein' a monster, been in the Silver Rush or maybe she knew the original inhabitants of the Silver Rush who the Van Graffs did a Mr House to. The only other time she uses the term 'observing' there am some sexual undertones, but I reckon that's not 'er intent 'ere.

Conclusion

So, that was Beatrix's insights Freeside, Various Factions and... life, I guess. Some interestin' stuff, I think. An' 'opefully me own provided thoughts an' commentary 'as been int'restin'.

[shinesurge]

your custom cassettes are really really cool! ive been thinking about making custom cassettes for a bit, would you be willing to share what kind of paper you used for the label stickers and j-cards? also where do you get blank cassettes from? ive been looking at cassettecomeback but i was wondering if there was a better option.

Thanks a lot! They're really fun to make hehe

So full disclosure: I run a merch shop for my webcomic and I make most of my stuff myself in my studio. I've been doing this for the better part of ten years and over that time I've accumulated quite a bit of specialized, expensive equipment like the photo printer and cutting machine I use to make my cassette ephemera. THAT SAID mixtapes don't necessarily need all that!! Unless you're running a bootleg business on etsy or somethin I don't think you and your friends gotta run out and spend a ton of money to make these (beyond tracking down a deck and a player, obviously).

Unfortunately most of these items are found on Amazon because I'm a professional artist trying to Live, but if that's something you'd rather avoid buying through I'm listing the brick and mortar places I can find them when I need to for whatever reason!

My j-cards are just the 8x10 glossy photo paper from Pen & Gear, it's usually less than ten bucks a pack at walmart lmao. I use it with an inkjet photo printer! There are plenty of laser printer options out there though, which is probably the type non-artists have access to. Honestly I think the look of black ink on colored copy paper is super cool for handmade tapes, especially between friends.

My sticker paper was a bitch to find and I'm not sure if it would be useful without my specific equipment, but it's this glossy adhesive photo paper from some rando company called LDProducts. Literally just called "Sticker Photo Paper" pf. It's more expensive but I get it in stacks of a hundred because I print tons of stickers for my shop. Again, glossy adhesive paper might not be useful without a big boy printer but MATTE sticker paper is everywhere, that's also pretty common to find at walmart or at the very least at an office supply store; you can print on it or even get out some markers (not sure i'd suggest anything besides ink tho, I'd be worried it could come off and damage the player). I design the labels in clip studio and then load them into cricut so it's super easy to get the right shape every time, but if you're Determined you could get out a measuring tape and an xacto knife and get similar results.

I've only found my tapes on amazon unfortunately, and it's been a while since I bought any because I sort of inherited a bunch of sealed ones when my dad died and i'm still going through them lol. Almost all my custom ones are 90 minute Sony High Fidelity, last I checked you could order them in packs of five or ten but I'm not sure what the prices are like rn. If you REALLY want to get fancy with colored shells/custom lengths i did find this cool site you can order from, Duplication.ca, but the shipping is kinda rough. One of these days I wanna make some cassettes for my webcomic and I'll drop some money on some pretty ones then, but for now the Sonys are treating me fine so I haven't dug too deep.

I hope something in here is useful! I'm always happy to share what I know but again, I'm very fortunate to have access to quite a bit of stuff most people don't and I try to be up front about it alskdjf. Cassettes are best when they're sorta janky and handmade tho, it's kind of the whole point, and if they're just for you or someone you care about then marking them with a sharpie and masking tape is just as cool in my opinion. probably cooler. everybody should put music on physical media and trade it i think.

[the-power-of-stuff]

Just sat through the first three NATLA live els and have so many thoughts - the first thing I did was come straight over to your blog because why wouldn’t I?!?

A part of me LOVES Suki’s awkwardness. In fact, none of the gripes I have with Suki and Sokka aren’t about Suki and Sokka and their characterisation themselves, but rather just the execution.

But anyways — the vibe I’m getting is that Season 2 (Book 1? I’m not sure if they’re going by seasons or books) is laying down the groundwork for some of the characters. We know they’re doing that with Azula (and the Fire Lord fam as a whole), but it seems like they’re sort of doing the same with Katara, where they’re starting off with her being a traumatised, almost-shy 14 year old girl who comes into her own as the season progresses.

While I haven’t watched the show in it’s entirety — I probably should have before sending this ask in — I’m assuming this is all leading up to her confrontation with Pakku and role in defending the Northern Water Tribe towards the end of the season. And then that new found confidence in herself and her waterbending carries though to season 2, where we’ll (presumably) find a more fiery, outspoken Katara after I’m guessing a somewhat lengthy time jump?

Anyway — back to Suki. My question to you is, if I’m right in my theory about Katara (and all the others, tbh… I feel like what I said for K can apply to pretty much any of the gaang at this point), do you think the same could be said for Suki and her own development?

We see Suki at the start of ep 2 as a fierce yet slightly socially awkward, sheltered warrior who wants to leave her village and aid in the fight against the Fire Nation and travel the world. As it goes, she does leave her village, and perhaps becomes the confident and sassy (and awful at puns) girl we all know and love, all through her experiences aiding in the war and travelling the world?

Of course, this would mean that her development would largely happen off-screen… but even still, Suki was more familiar towards the end of the episode. She was the one who initiated the kiss, she made her feelings and mostly gratitude known to Sokka by giving him her fan, she told the gaang they had to leave.

It feels like that’s the route Albert Kim is going. He’s made it clear that it’s a re imagination and not a 1:1 adaptation. He clearly wants the show to have its own identity to some extent (e.g. the genocide actually being shown and basically being a mini prologue to the series) and this is his way of doing so through characterisation.

I’ve written way more than I intended, so sorry for this long winded tangent. But what I mean to ask is, do you think in season 2 we’ll see a Suki more similar to the og (while of course still being her own).

I’d love to know what you think! x

Ahh, this makes me so happy!! Thank you so much for enjoying this blog, and for sharing your thoughts and sending this ask! <3 (And absolutely no need to apologize for writing so much, either! Goodness knows I could go on forever about this stuff.)

I think you make a really good point about characterization in the LA, and the potential for certain traits (like Katara's fieriness) to develop more over time. And I've been thinking about it in terms of what we already know about LA Suki that could get built upon in later seasons.

I definitely think it would make sense for us to see Suki come out of her shell a bit more in season 2, although there are some things in the LA that make it hard for me to imagine Suki being quite as sassy as her animated counterpart, just because of the sort of foundation it gives us for her personality.

For one, there's Suki's interactions with her mother. If anyone were going to be on the receiving end of a teenage daughter's sass, even if that sass is buried too deep in shyness to come out around said daughter's crush, it would be her mother. And while we kinda sorta see Suki get a little petulant with Yukari (her delivery of "I'm not too young, I just haven't seen the world" is kind of a swipe? but is really very heartfelt), she overall seems like a well-behaved, obedient daughter. This isn't a King Triton/Ariel situation where you get the impression they've had this conversation a million times before and Yukari is exasperated by Suki always questioning her authority. In fact, it feels like the first time Yukari's even considered that Suki might want something more, and she seems pretty amenable to it, if the fact that she didn't storm into the dojo to break up Sokka and Suki's near-makeout session is any indication. So, even in these private moments where you'd assume Suki is more herself, there isn't much sass to be seen.

(Somewhat related to this, I had a funny sort of "Huh!" reaction to Yukari's, "Such a fierce warrior. And yet such a kind heart." Not that I don't think Suki is kind! It's just not one of the first words I would use to describe her. And not that I would've expected Yukari to say, "Such a fierce warrior. And yet also kind of a pill because you're always giving me lip." But that bit of dialogue is there for the audience's benefit; it was a choice the writers made to tell us what they think is important for us to know about Suki's character. So I had a moment of, "Oh, that's the takeaway we're supposed to have? Interesting...")

And then there's Suki's later interactions with Sokka. On the one hand, when they're training together, the romantic tension is through the roof; it's all very new and interesting for them and it makes sense that they'd still be a little shy about it. On the other hand, Suki gets comfortable enough around Sokka at this point to 1) remove her makeup, 2) have a deep conversation with him, and 3) touch him on the chest. We don't see her show the same awkwardness from earlier in the episode, but she also continues to be very serious. When Sokka pins her, and then she flips them over while he's mid-celebration, she follows up with a useful tip about fighting, and it's delivered completely straight (if a little breathless). No little jokes or jabs. No "Don't get cocky" or knowing smirks.

However, we are not completely without sass! There are a couple moments in particular that I feel have some of that familiar Suki flair.

First...

Lookit her smirky little "come at me, bro" face! That face 100% says, "C'mon then, let's see it, if you're so tough." There's a playfulness here, too, which we know is very much a part of her relationship with Sokka in the animated show. (This Suki up here? I could easily see this Suki saying, "😠I'm an elite warrior who's trained for many years in the art of stealth... I think I could get you backstage!😁")

And then...

The thing I love about this is that she's all, "Nuh uh, I don't think so" (her little head wiggle!), but a fraction of a second ago she was staring blatantly at that boy's mouth. Nice try, sweetheart, but you ain't foolin' anybody. (This Suki is the Suki who smacks her forehead when her boyfriend tells terrible puns to actor-Sokka but who later gazes at him adoringly when he absolutely loses his shit because actor-Sokka actually said "rocky relationship" on stage.)

So...I guess the tl;dr answer to your question is, kind of? I can't see LA Suki getting to "Sorry, Warden, you're my prisoner now" levels of sass, but that's not really the tone the LA is going for anyway. I think we'll see her being very bold (a la taking the initiative to kiss Sokka) and very compassionate (saving Appa—I hope!!), and it makes total sense that, next time we see her, she'll be way more confident than the girl who could barely say a single word to Sokka before attempting to strangle him by way of flirtation. I also hope we'll get to see more of her playfulness! Maybe even some successful flirting? Probably not as forward as "Look at you, sleeveless guy...been workin' out?" but I'd settle for a sly head tilt and a cheeky little grin. And based on what we know of her so far, I don't think that's too much to ask. ;)

[tea-with-evan-and-me]

I'm sweaty and exhausted by the time I sit down on the plane. I'm traveling by myself because my best friend had to cancel on me at the last minute. But, my little cousin is waiting for me in Cali. I say little, but she's 24. She just moved out there and she invited me to come visit. I've never been there and I'm a bit nervous. I'm daydreaming as I feel someone sit down next to me, taking the aisle seat. The man sitting next to me clears his throat and his voice sounds pleasant. I get a little shiver, but don't think much of it, as the opposite sex is the last thing on my mind at the moment.

I take my phone out and put it on airplane mode. Then I toss it back in my purse. I start shuffling through my carryone bag. I pull out some headphones and my book. I'm not sure what I feel like doing first for this flight from St. Louis to LAX. It's not the longest flight I've ever taken but it's long enough. I open my book and I read a few paragraphs.

"Ouch, geez..." I hear the man next to me say to himself softly.

I look up and I can tell someone with a large duffel bag crashed into his arm and didn't even say anything. The man shakes his head and closes his eyes. Rests his head on the back of the chair. Headphones are playing something I can hear faintly, but can't tell what it is. I dare to take a look at him. Curly long hair, beard, muscular arms, big hands. I notice for the first time that I can smell his cologne. I could smell it earlier and thought it was good, but didn't realize it was him. I feel a bit heated and then I let the feeling go and return to my book. When the second rude person of the day walks by, the man leans towards me and our shoulders bump.

"Christ, I'm sorry" he says. He looks irritated. The person in the aisle is just standing there. Their bag is swinging by the man's head and the person is oblivious. The man is leaning towards me to stay out of the line of fire.

"Hey, do you want me to move over so you can take this seat?" I say to him. Our eyes meet and I'm immediately drawn into his. They are dark like nothing I've ever seen before. When he responds, I take too long to answer. My face must show what I'm thinking cause he chuckles. It breaks me out of my haze.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" I ask, shaking my head.

He smiles, exposing perfect white teeth. Dimples poking out from his facial hair. Fuck me.

"What if that person shows up?" He says as he points to the empty window seat next to me.

"Oh! No, they won't. That was supposed to be my friend's seat but they couldn't make it."

I don't wait for him to respond. I just gather my stuff and hop into the seat. He follows suit.

"Ha! Much better" he chuckles

"Good" I say laughing in response

"Thanks!"

"Oh, no problem!" I respond with a smile.

"I'm Evan" he sticks out his hand. I shake it.

"Andi" I say, a spark of a realization I can't quite place.

I go back to reading my book. Well, pretending to at least. I sigh, trying to get my heart to stop racing.

"Whatcha reading?"

My head pops up. He's looking right at me with those eyes. "Uh, a book about a serial killer. I guess it's a series about the female detective. It's pretty good."

"That's fitting" he murmurs.

"Hmm?"

"Oh, nothing" the look on his face is a bit bemused. "So what's your story? Are you from LA?"

"Oh, no. Michigan actually.

"Oh, is your friend from St. Louis?"

"No, Indiana" we both laugh. "Well, she's from Michigan, lives in Indiana. I'm visiting my cousin who just got a job out in LA. My friend was going to go with me, but her husband got sick and she didn't want to just leave him with the kids. It was cheaper to fly out from St. Louis for some reason." I shrug.

"Ah, ok. That also answers my next question"

"Which is?" I answer sorta flirtatiously.

"If your friend was a boyfriend" he smirks.

"Nope. In between those right now" I laugh nervously.

He just nods approvingly. My face flushes. We stare into each other's eyes for a minute. He speaks again.

"You have really pretty eyes. I've never seen a blue/green color like that before."

Without thinking I respond "Ive never seen such dark, intense eyes before either....oh shit I'm sorry!" My hand goes to my forehead as I shake my head in embarrassment.

He laughs "No worries." He says it softly.

For the next two hours our conversation is non stop. The compliments are flying between us. Sparks seem to be too. We are flirty. He says sweet things. I touch his arm any chance I get. We laugh. We get close and it's not awkward. It almost feels comfortable. Only when the flight attendant shows up with the cart are we interrupted.

"What would you like?" He asks me.

"A diet pepsi sounds great" I reply

He very politely tells the flight attendant what I requested first. He gets a coke.

"Thanks" I say softly. He seems very kind. Soft-spoken. I feel a deep pang in my belly. Desire? Well, listen girlie. Get your panties in order. This is an airplane, not a hotel room. I sigh again.

He nods. A small smirk finding it's way to his full lips. They look soft. My eyes flit to them, then back up to his eyes. His stare not wavering from my face. I clear my throat.

"Excuse me for a minute" I say as I get up. I climb past his legs facing him. He extends one big, veiny hand to me to make sure I don't stumble. Just then, as if we were in some half-corny romcom, turbulence hits our plane. I do stumble. He catches me as best he can. I put my arms out to stop myself. And I end up with my face incredibly close to him. I get a hint of his scent again. That pang in my belly threatening me again.

"I'm so sorry" I say, righting myself.

"No worries at all." He's a bit breathless. My mind brushes it off. It's for my own sanity, really.

I make my way to the bathroom, find one that is vacant and go inside. Damn, these bathrooms seem to get smaller every time I fly, I think to myself as I lock the door. I do what I have to and wash my hands. I look at my face in the mirror. I think how plain Jane I am and wonder what the handsome guy sitting next to me is finding to flirt with. Maybe he's just being nice. I'll never see him again, I think. It's a nice way to spend my flight though. I sigh audibly and throw the paper towel in the trash.

I turn the lock and open the door and stop short. Evan is standing there. His hands are in his pockets. He looks a bit nervous. He looks over both shoulders, then looks at me and shrugs. I immediately grab one of his hands and gently pull him inside before he can be spotted. When inside he turns the lock to occupied. We are so close in this tiny space that his breath is moving my hair. Neither of us speak. He places his hands on my face. He leans in and I follow suit. He brushes his nose against mine and then softly plants a kiss on my lips. It's quick. He opens his eyes to look into mine for permission. I nod my head slightly, giving it. This time he leans in slowly. Our eyes still locked until we get so close. He pulls away and smiles. Then our lips meet. This time our mouths are slightly open. Enough to allow our tongues to caress each others. He deepens the kiss and my hands find the back of his head. I twirl my fingers into his curls lightly. My mouth leaves his to find his chin. I kiss his scratchy beard and make my way to his neck. I kiss up to his ear and I whisper "Evan, you smell good" he sighs.

"Andi, my mind is racing. I really don't know what's gotten into me. But, you can trust me. I have protection." He pulls out his wallet from his back pocket. Long fingers open the flaps and he retrieves a condom. I catch the words "ribbed" on it before it disappears from my sight. He seems like someone that would care about his partner's pleasure. But, of course I know nothing about him.

I start to unbutton his pants. I let them drop. He's standing there in his boxers. His pants at his ankles. How we are going to make this work in this tiny space doesn't even cross my mind because I'm distracted by his erection poking out through the slit in his underwear. I take it in my hands and start pumping softly. His eyes close. "Mmm, god yes"

I kiss his chest. He towers over me. His eyes flutter open. He stops my hand. When he speaks his voice is lusty, but also very sincere.

"Hun, I want you to know that you can stop me any time, ok. Don't hesitate. You say stop and we stop. There's no way you need to feel unsafe, do you understand?"

I nod my head quickly. "That goes both ways" I say to him, confidently. He nods. With that, he pulls his boxers down and starts putting on the condom. I push my leggings and panties down and release one foot. I look around looking for some leverage. The sink doesn't even have a ledge. I look at him as he puts his arms out.

"Jump up, sweetie" he says

I jump up and he turns me to the door. He gently places me against it. He looks me in the eyes giving me a look that says tell me the truth "Are you ready for me sweetie?"

"Yes." It's all I can muster

"I'm gonna go slow. Tell me if you need something from me, ok?" He starts pushing himself into me so slow. My head falls back against the door and I moan. It's more like a happy hum. He feels so good. He must feel it too, cause when he speaks next it's a breathy whisper. "All good honey?"

"Yes!" It's louder than intended.

"Good, but not too loud, sweetheart" he says it kindly.

He starts thrusting. My legs wrapped around his hips. The thrusts are gentle at first. But, when I'm not acting like I'm uncomfortable, they get more intense. "Go as hard as you need to, Evan. You won't hurt me." He moans and he starts thrusting hard. I return it with my own moan. The sounds we make against the door sound so loud. "Well, shit..." He curses. "Hold onto me tight baby" he pulls me away from the door and I wrap my arms around his neck. "Come closer" he adjusts me. He slides in deeper and my head snaps back "shhhh" in my ear. He starts moving my ass up and down with his strong arms. Standing in the middle of a tiny bathroom. His pants around his ankles. He's bending his knees and bouncing me up and down on his rock hard dick. I start trying to bounce to help him and soon we find the most delicious rhythm.

Our foreheads smash together. Our eyes screwed shut. We are both close, but we don't say anything. It's feels so fucking good, we just want it to happen. Suddenly his mouth finds my neck and a string of moans come out. Muffled into the crook. I feel his legs shake. He's coming down from his orgasm as mine hits. He carries me through, still bouncing me. He kisses me so my screams aren't heard. We are so sweaty in this confined space. Breathing hard. He releases me to the floor. He pulls me close to hold me for a minute.

"You ok, babygirl?"

"Yes, are you?"

"More than you know"

He throws the condom away. Our clean up is easy. He pulls his pants up and then helps me with mine. He straightens my hair into its place. Kisses the top of my head.

"I'll go out first" he whispers.

I wait a minute and then make my exit. I don't make eye contact with anybody. I sneak past him and sit down. He immediately takes my hand and laces our fingers. He give each other a quick kiss.

We sit there in bliss for a minute until we see someone approach us. It's a middle aged lady and she looks excited.

"Are you Evan Peters? My son loves you as Quicksilver. Can I get your autograph?"

Evan looks over at me and shrugs. He chuckles at the sight of my jaw hanging open.

“Well, listen girlie. Get your panties in order. This is an airplane, not a hotel room” epic