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princeanxious · 4 years

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Soulmate au fic that I really wanna write where Janus is soulmates with everyone(aka DLAMPR) but soulmates stay the same every lifetime but theres a chance to have multiple soulmates and in rare cases you don’t meet them all in that life before you or your soulmates dies.(especially in janus’s case, for reasons i’ll get into shortly) With each life once you hit a certain age(say somewhere between 19-20) and/or meet your soulmate, you gain the memory of every life you’ve had in the past, specifically the life you lived with your soulmate.(also soulmates arent inherently romantic in this world, and i’ll mention that roman and remus are always inherently platonic soulmates to eachother, and are often born as twins to eachother, and if not, are often always the first meet in their group)

Janus is a very special case, and in their world considered almost an anomaly.

All the information gained in the world is supplied from his soulmates, who at the end of each of their current lives always end up together as a group, though it on average happens pretty early on in their lives, minus janus.

Janus is an anomaly because it seems that he’s dying every lifetime time that he meets one of his soulmates, lost to the world 24 hours after hes come into direct physical contact with the first of his soulmates in that lifetime.

(Check the tags for trigger warnings before reading!)

In the first lifetime, he meets Patton(who, in this life, is not called Patton), a young baker who takes his hand with excitement, the barest brush of skin alone triggering not a memory of a past life, but instead a brilliant feeling of connection, a soul-deep aknowledgement that their souls are brand new, and infact are connected to a whole group of souls. Patton is overtaken by a whole new kind of excitement. Janus matches it, and they plan an outting for the very next morning. Janus does not make it to the outting, succumbing to a stab wound just hours after meeting Patton while on his walk home. Patton meets the rest of their soulmates while waiting for Janus to arrive. They hear about his death a week later.

The in second lifetime, he briefly meets Virgil, theyre 16 and 17 respectively. He doesnt learn much, the brief brush of skin while waiting in a croud for a train, enough to distract him into turning around just enough to meet eyes with Virgil, who had been on a train back to meet the rest of their soulmates, an exclamation of relieved surprise on the tip of Janus’s tongue. And then Jan trips, or someone impatiently shoves at him and he loses his footing, niether of them really know for sure. One moment they feel the euphoria of their souls connecting, the next Virgil feels the bond instantly shatter alongside his heart as he watches Janus disappear under the oncoming train. Virgil spends that lifetime traumatized by his sudden death, guilt ridden in knowing their soulmate’s last lifetime’s death had ended in a similar fashion even in mer secs, and his soul takes on a much more cautious nature from then on.

In the third lifetime, he meets Remus, theyre 18. Remus manages to spend a whole hour with Janus before they touch, and it’s only because Janus talks him out of jumping off a bridge. Remus wasn’t being suicidal, just hyper moridly curious, but Janus didn’t know that. Janus strikes up a conversation with him, its snarky and fun and perfect, and Janus joins him on the railing as they talk. Janus derails Remus from jumping by mentioning that he’s never had sushi, and to Remus this is an afront to living. Remus hops back over to the safe side of the railing, declaring to fix that crisis immediately. Janus laughs and agrees, relaxing visibly. The relaxing is a mistake, as for a single second Janus forgets that hes still in a dangerous position. He slips, his hand missing the railing, Remus only just barely managing to catch his hand in time but he doesnt get a good enough grasp, the spark that triggers their soul connection distracting enough that Janus’s hands slip from Remus’s, and Remus is forced to watch in horror as Janus plummets to his doom. He scrambles to fish Janus out of the river, but they cant revive him, Janus died on impact. Remus doesn’t meet the rest of their soulmates for another three years. He never touches sushi again for the rest of that lifetime

In the forth, Roman is 17, Janus is 18, and Janus actually meets Roman multiple times, knowing full well what his life has in store, neither ever knowing. Roman and Janus are actors for the two main characters for an up and coming movie, and they get along super well. Janus has always worn gloves, scarves, long sleeves and jeans, hoodies, beanies. Its a bit taboo at such a young age, but Janus never seems to mind the controversy and never commets on it, and Roman doesn’t mind either. Janus is infact very withdrawn, and often gives very little input on what his true personality is and so Roman doesn’t push it. Later, he really, really wishes he did. Inevitably, they become closer. But it’s only until after the movie is released that Janus lets his walls down just a little. Somehow, he seems to know that Roman is his soulmate long before theyve actually touched. Somehow, for some reason that they just cant seem to fathom, at the end of a large event for the movie, Janus and Roman are being ushered away from eachother and into seperate cars to avoid an influx of fans for some reason or another, Roman doesn’t remember what. All he remembers is Janus taking a glove off his hand and brushing Roman’s cheek after he wished Roman an odd farewell. Not a see you later, just “Farewell, my Prince.” In perfect sync with a very specific line that Janus’s character had said. Roman is in too much shock by the time he’s in his own car, the past three lifetimes of memory flashing through his head taking just long enough to settle into dread as he realizes. He panics, he tries to get someone to listen, and by god do they try, but no one can get into contact with Janus in time. Janus dies in a freak car crash just minutes after they touched, dead on impact. Roman and his soulmates hold onto this movie for the rest of this lifetime, the last physical record left behind by the soulmate that fate just wont let them meet.

In the fifth, he meets Logan, each at age 21, Logan is a nurse in training, and Janus is a cashier, a college student just starting to work towards getting their law degree. By this point Logan has met all of their soulmates, and they all live in a flat together. Really, these days they all sit in wait, they have a plan amongst themselves, about what to do when they meet Janus, a last resort, a trying attempt to keep him alive just long enough to break that 24 hour threshold, to break the spell, to be able to say they did something to try and save him. So its truely a shame that in this lifetime, Janus is bleeding out from a gunshot wound by the time Logan is able to reach him. Its late at night, the police have been called, but it seems Janus was in the wrong place at the wrong time, and finds himself bleeding out on the tile floor. He doesn’t struggle, he doesn’t panic. When Logan approaches, he instead smiles sadly, and reaches his hand out to Logan. On instinct Logan takes it, just before he processes hearing Janus greet him with “Hello, Soulmate.” In vain, Logan tries to staunch the bleeding, but he’s done all he can do, and they know the real paramedics will be 2 minnutes too late. So they sit there, covered in Janus’s blood at 2 am in the middle of a shoddy convenience store, talking quietly about life and how their soulmates love them. There are tears in Logan’s eyes as Janus smiles sadly, knowingly up at Logan. He reaches his hand up and cradles Logans face, and asks Logan to “never forget to smile, okay?” Logan ends up leaving nursing, his mental health unable to take the soul-deep wound that incapacitates him when surrounded by the call of death.

In their sixth life, his soulmates wait, the group meets at age 23, and feel renewed hope as each month passes that they do not experience another traumatic death in their midst. Around age 30, confusion sets in, the hollow itch of meeting their last soulmate is dulled, almost non existant. They’d believe it gone if they didn’t feel it whisper to them late at night where theyre all gathered together. By the time their 60, the whisper seems to fade, and they slowly mourn the loss of the loved one they never got to have. Janus’s soul infact does not make it to the sixth lifetime, but not for lack of trying. His soulmates don’t want to believe it, waiting for his arrival to the very last of their days in this lifetime and never meeting him, they refuse to voice that they mightve lost Janus for good..

Fate has instead taken hold of his feeble soul, the weakest soul in an already unusually huge soulmate group, his soul only half as strong as it should be to balance fate in each lifetime, and so weak that his soul collapses under the amount of soulpower that reaches out to his own when his soul meets the others, and the fates are agitated by the constant unbalance of what should be their greatest and most intricately created group of soulmates yet. So the fates decided to hold onto his soul for a single lifetime, and spends the years mending and healing and strengthening his soul, practically filling in a full half of his soul, and spending years merging it while still carefully balancing his connection with his soulmates perfectly. The trade off is that the tampering and adjusting of his soul fucks with his soulmate memory trigger. He doesn’t forget, no, but his access to his previous lifetime memories is staggered, and so it takes months before he gets back all of his pevious lifetime memories, leaving the inital soulmate connection actually connecting but not immediately supplying his soul with any information of his own first 5 lives, leaving him blank at the start, though knowing that he and his soulmates soul’s are still older than being a brand new soul without memories, and doesn’t actually have a point in his lifetimes when he his an age and his past lifetime memories come to him, he /has/ to meet his soulmates to trigger those memories. The fates are very particular about him, keen on not providing this group with anymore unnessesary trauma.

So, imagine Janus’s genuine confusion, in his sixth life and his soulmate’s seventh life, at age 23 when he approaches a group at a college party on a whim to chat/flatter/flirt with the infamous Remus Sanders, the local social cryptid who always raises more questions than answers when you talk to him and who, Janus has learned, is a highly entertained arsonist-wannabe, and Janus knows that it’s smart to have contacts, because who knows when he’ll be need of someone who’ll commit arson with him? It just happened to be an hour earlier that Remy had spilled soda on his gloves, so he’s braving this interaction without a safety barrier but he’s heard Remus has all his soulmates already, all four of them to be exact, so he doesnt think he has much of a reason to worry. He manages to slide into the conversation easily, and none of Remus’s soulmates seem bothered by his intrusion, especially when he takes the eccentric way that Remus speaks in stride without even a pause, they just seem exasperated when he sneakily brings up the topic of fire.

Then Remus takes him by the shoulders, grinning at him almost crazily, and states “You. I like you” and, it’s obviously instinctive, the graceful way he laughs and puts a hand on Remus’s to agree, but of course the moment skin touches skin, their souls link and everything sparks. And then Remus shutters, and stares, his jaw going slack but his hands seem to grip Janus tighter. And for a moment, Janus finds it terribly, terribly fitting that he’s soulmates with a filterless pyromaniac, but then he remembers that Remus also has soulmates, and then the panic sets in because, assumably, that makes them his soulmates too.

Imagine Janus’s confusion when instead of being met with joy, he suddenly finds himself tucked carefully yet securely into Remus’s arms, being rocked by a man whose suddenly panicked and almost manically whispering “it’s him, hes here, it’s him.” Any move he makes to pull away even a little is met with a sob, Remus is crying, and Janus is so very confused. He tries to coo and comfort Remus, but each of their other soulmates crowd around them, touching his skin one by one, none of them moving away, his skin is burning from touch starvation, its a lot, its to much, its not enough, it burns.

It takes Janus over an hour, after being shuffled into a corner and placed in another soulmate’s lap, Janus thinks his name is Patton, to come back to himself, and finds his soulmates can’t stop touching him. He, too, feels the zing with each touch, the specific innate and undeniable feeling of ‘soulmate, soulmate, soulmate’ but he feels that hes very specifically out of some kind of loop considering all of his soulmates are crying.

When the fates whisper to them, three hours in, with the words “his soul was weak, we have fixed the issue, he is now yours for life to keep, he will safely continue.”

And while Janus requires quite a bit of catch-up, he feels like nows not the best time to ask. He feels more than sees the collective relief that sweeps through his soulmates, he lets them crowd around him further, touching and holding and assuring themselves and eachother that hes real, hes there, he’s staying alive, hes going to be safe. He tries not to say too much, doesn’t want to step on any sore spots, and finds theres tears in his eyes as well. He just lets himself be passed from lap to lap, and somehow or another they manage to all safely arrive at their joined home, pilling up a pillowfort into the livingroom and putting on a movie. Not once does he leave the hold of at least one soulmate, and finds at least two other hands on his person at a time up until he’s sat in the middle of the pillowfort(after he was allowed to get ready alongside the others for bed. He ends up in an oversized nasa hoodie that belongs to Logan) and the others begin to just, talk about life. Its too early to talk about the extreme protectiveness that theyve all treated him with each second, like hes about to dissapear at any moment. The thought makes him shudder, and he tries not to dwell on it.

Turns out, Virgil has the best idea of the night, suddenly and carefully kissing him, which triggers a bit of a domino effect, where Janus goes gently from soulmate to soulmate and trades kisses and hugs until everyone is breathless and giggling wetly with emotion.

And, when he wakes up the next morning, refusing to leave the warmth that is Roman’s chest and whining when Logan, who’d been acting as his other warm big spoon, start pulling away to start the day. And for the first time in this lifetime, Logan startlingly quickly relents and actually returns to their makeshift bed, pressing closer to Janus in an instant to hear his happy, sleepy hum. None of them get up for hours, and when they finally do, they order takeout, and dont stray far from eachother in the coming days.

Its the start of something new, something beautiful.

Something completely and finally whole.

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gb-patch · 3 years

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Ask Answers: August 8th

Well, doing big posts all together worked for a while but lately I’ve been putting it off because it takes a long time to get them done. I think I’m gonna try switching back to answering asks whenever I can fit it in and posting them one at a time instead of waiting until I’ve filled out one of these major collections.

But for now, here’s more ask answers! Thank you for the questions and for all the kind words along with them ^^.

Hello!! I'm here to ask if its possible to get the game and its dlcs on steam and play it on android?

I’m afraid not. Steam doesn’t have Android builds on their own site and Steam is not cool with keys for other sites being given out for Steam purchases, so you don’t get the Itch version from buying on Steam.

Hello! Sorry to bother you but, I had a question, if we buy the Game on itchio do we get steam keys or would we need to purchase it twice?

You would have to buy it twice if you want it in both places, I’m sorry. To repeat myself a little, Steam doesn’t like the key trading thing. Itch may support giving keys for another site, but the reverse isn’t doable with Steam and Steam doesn’t even really want you to get a Steam key for buying somewhere else either. So we just don’t mess around with that.

hey, sorry if this is frequently asked, but is step 4 free dlc or paid for? some of your sources are contradicting each other.

It’s free! There’s a paid wedding DLC, but Step 4 itself is entirely unpaid.

Hello! I just had a quick question, for the Baxter and Derek DLC's will we be able to confess our feelings to them or let them confess to MC? or will it only be one way? (they confess to MC)

Both type of options will be available!

Hey there! I wanted to ask whether or not the Derek DLC is still on track to be released in August since on the steam discussion board it says it will be released mid 2021. I totally understand if it isn't, I'm just really looking forward to it! If you answer then ty! And keep up the amazing work :D

It’s not, aha. Unfortunately, 2021 wasn’t easier than 2020 as we hoped so things are still slower than planned. It’ll come out late 2021 or early 2022.

Hi! Firstly I just want to say that I LOVE Our Life. I have played a bit of similar games but this one instantly wins for the best one! Everything about it is amazing! I just wanted to ask if Derek would ever lose feelings for MC, like if they make the deal and then MC gets with Cove would he move on? and even if you don't, after "losing contact" would his feeling fade or would he still like MC?

If you don’t really keep in touch with him and clearly move on with your life, Derek will too and he’ll be over it. But if you are still close as best as you can be, he’ll still think the MC is special. Though, he’ll always support your relationship with someone else if that’s what’ll make you happy.

Hello! Sorry if you've answered this before but: 'How's Lee related to us? Though which momma? And does she share our player-chosen last names? Also, do you know if Noelani took Pam's last name or did it happen the other way round?

She’s related to Pamela and Pamela’s last name is the one they use, so the MC has the same last name as Lee.

Will we be able to choose which (they or he) we tend to call Qiu by more often, or will it randomly change depending on the moment?

Qiu knows which pronoun they’re comfortable with at a time and you’ll call them what they’re happy with. And it doesn’t change between lines, it takes multiple scenes or even full Steps for it to switch. So for extended periods Qiu will be totally a guy or fully agender.

Will Step 4 of OL2 have moments?

It’ll be an epilogue like it is in OL1, so it won’t have a bunch of different Moments.

Hello! Just a quick question, is Sunset bird from OL1 based on a real location? If so what's it called? I wanna visit it +_+

ps i love your games so much <3

It isn’t based on one specific town you can go to, but there are a lot of little coastal towns in Cali that have a similar vibe!

Heyaaa ( I hope you're all well ), umm… it might seem kinda stupid to ask but did Patreon members can have a key for the dlc's ( all the steps-released dlc ) even if they became a member this month or later ? (me? saying this cuz it's my case? maybe ;-;), and once again thanks for absolutely all the amazing works on all the games ! u-u

You wouldn’t get the DLCs for backing there. The Patreon is for extra bonus content/early access, rather than being a storefront to purchase the normal DLCs. Rarely we give them out as a side gift, but it hardly happens and if what you want is the DLCs it’s best to ignore the Patreon and buy keys for those directly from Itch or Steam. I’m sorry for the confusion.

Hey y'all, love what youre doing w/Terry. Trans rep outside of player customization is so rare and important to see more of so thank you so much. I do have a question and its that does he have a canon sexuality? I know Miranda was said to be straight ace but I dont believe anything was stated for Terry probably because he wasnt revealed to be a guy which changes things. Im also curious if well get answers on how long hes liked Miranda since he may have liked her in step 3 before she liked him

Terry likes women and Randy likes men! And he did like Miranda back in Step 3.

Will the Wedding Dlc release at the same time as Step 4?

They’ll come out separately with Step 4 releasing first.

I really love Our Life so much! I've spent over 20hours playing it even though I only got it a week ago! I was wondering if I could make a fangame for Our Life with a different love interest but same plot. Next-door neighbors romance, multiple steps, etc? I'll probably make it on Google Slides though-

Sure! I hope you have fun with it and I’m glad you love the game.

How does Cove feel about poly relationships?

He’s got nothing against them for the people they work for, but he’s 100% monogamous and would only be comfortable with a partner who was willing to be monogamous with him.

Idk if this has been answered before but will Step 4 include the option to advance your feelings towards Cove?

Yep, you’ll be able to determine your feelings and what your relationship is.

In step 4 will there be a chosen to say we live with Cove even as just friends?

Yeah, you can choose to live with Cove and that can be done when you’re friends.

I just played the game with the MC and Cove being best friends and omg it’s still so damn cute like the wholesomeness of it all is too much for my heart I swear ^.^ Now with that all said I was wondering can we still marry Cove? if we only love him as a friend like let’s say we’ve made deal with him similar to the one we can make with Derek because let’s real no one could compete with what the MC and Cove have even if they aren’t in love.

It’s great to hear you enjoyed the friendship story! You can live with Cove, but you can’t marry him platonically. Cove has familial affection for the MC if they’re best-est friends. He wouldn’t think to marry someone he loves like family and even grew up with as though they truly were siblings.

Are you still going to be making a DLC for XOBD? :]

Yes! We’re slowing adding voiced lines and fixing errors.

It makes me laugh that Shiloh's last name is Fields because that's what I put as my last name! So in Our Life when he talked about "Ms. Fields" picking him up I was extremely confused, lol. That dude mimics personalities so much that he stole my surname!

Oh, wow, that’s a very funny coincidence, haha.

hi !! i cant seem to be able to get the scene where mc is able to propose to cove despite being at the 'love' stage and telling him i'd want to get married, are there any other details that im missing out on? the options just dont appear at the end...

Maybe you missed telling Cove you were in love with him even if you mentioned wanting to get married or you might’ve accidentally said earlier in the game that you don’t want to progress your relationship further with Cove. We haven’t removed them, so you can get the scene again. It’s just kind of easy to miss since there’s multiple requirements. You can read a little guide in the FAQ.

wait what di you need to do to be able to propose to cove? I've been trying but haven't had much luck

You can check out the FAQ linked above!

does cove only develop a crush on the mc if the mc is also at crush/in love with him?

Technically, yes. We treat the non-romantic relationship options as truly non-romantic since we don’t want to bait and switch people. But there’s nothing wrong with headcanoning that Cove does have feelings developing for the MC even before the MC has.

Is there a way to make/allow Lee and Baxter to date?

No, they just don’t have enough time together.

We also got a group of asks related to Tamarack in OL2, but I’m afraid the way they talked about people with larger bodies made me not want to post their words, even if the person didn’t say they’re trying to be hurtful. I will separate out the core question and answer it though, so people can know that info.

Does Tamarack lose weight in later Steps?

No, she doesn’t. As for the other questions included, to be honest, I don’t have to explain/defend having romance options of different sizes. I’m sorry if you’re dealing with unhappiness that’s connected to body image, if that’s where the negative emotions are coming from, but even so I can’t meet you on that level and pretend it’s a problem that needs an answer. A girl who simply isn’t thin being a main love interest is just not an unreasonable concept. Also, Tamarack isn’t a lesbian. Yes, she can date a female MC, but that doesn’t undo her actual sexuality, so I’m not sure where that one part at the end was coming from.

I wonder... can we "fight" with Qiu over leader status? 👀

Not really, haha. No matter how cool your MC is, they’re never gonna replace Qiu for the other kids around. So you can either partner up with him, follow him too, or not be a part of all that group politics stuff.

So when I play the game, sometimes I mentally call Cove “Covie/Covey” and that made me wonder, how does Cove feel about being nicknamed? Not like Romeo/Space Cadet/etc. but like pet names relating to his actual name

It’d depend on his age, personality, and your relationship with him! When he’s younger he’d probably be embarrassed, when he was grown he’d probably be more casual or happy about it.

will you be able to date baxter in step 3 while at crush with cove (but not dating him ofc) sorry if this has been asked already. i really love baxters step 4 design btw!!

Yeah, you can be crushing on Cove and date Baxter if you weren’t already dating Cove. You just can’t be truly in love with Cove and then switch to Baxter.

I just got my friend into our life, and they adore shiloh and derek sooo will there be more of them in the second game?

I’m afraid not. But you can see plenty more of Shiloh in XOXO Droplets/XOXO Blood Droplets, haha.

I see you haven't gotten any xoxo droplets asks recently but I'm still obsessed with these boys!! I was just wondering if Nate would curse under any circumstance?

Yeah, Nate does use certain swear words (damn, hell, bastard) on very rare occasions.

Hi there! I have a question about the wedding dlc. Will we be able to plan a honeymoon during the planning stages of it or would it be something that Cove and the mc would rather plan later on? Thank you! Absolutly love the game by the way, definitely one of my favorite games!

The focus will be on the wedding day itself. The topic of the honeymoon might come up a bit, but there won’t be any choosing of the exact location and such.

Hi! I have two questions and it's completely understandable if you only answer one/neither and I'm sorry if you've already answered either before! First, is there a set year in which OL:B&A takes place (ex: Step 1 being set in 2010 & Step 2 being set in 2016, etc.) or is it simply up to interpretation? Second, have you guys thought about doing a coming-of-age game where the MC has a tough home life or upbringing? (like one of their parents is an addict, a parent being transphobic whilst the player has the option to be trans, or having friends that are influencing them to do drugs, etc.) That's all! Thanks for making beautiful games. <3

There is a set timeline!

Step 1: 2006 Step 2: 2011 Step 3: 2016 Step 4: 2021

And we don’t currently plan on making a game like that. The Our Life series exists to be a safer environment for people to play around in and if we did do a brand new series that was harsher edged it’d be something more fantastical and/or plot-driven instead of a different type of modern day slice-of-life growing up story. I’m sorry.

i don’t know if you’ve already answered this, but do you have a guess on when phase 4 will come out? as well as ol2? i’m so excited for both of them, the inclusivity in this game is amazing, you guys should be really proud of it!

Step 4 will be coming out very soon! OL2 is gonna take until 2023 to be anywhere near completion. But we might episodically release the Steps one at a time as they get done instead of waiting for three to be finished before launch like we did with the first game.

Hello, I was curious if there was an official or unofficial discord server for the game?

We do have a discord! You can join by clicking this link HERE.

how long do you plan to keep ol's patreon running?

Hopefully for at least a few more years.

Are you considering ever making merch?

Yeah, but I don’t know when it’ll happen or what exactly we’ll make, aha. It’s something we want do, just nothing is set.

hi! i just found out about your game a couple of days ago on tiktok (so sorry if you’ve already answered this question) and i was wondering if y’all are ever planning to release it on iOS?

I have no idea. It’s hard for a small group to get Apple approval and I honestly can’t say if it’ll ever happen or not. Maybe someday, though!

Hi, I love the art style of Our life and I would like to know if the artist has a Twitter? Also, could it be possible to fund more CGs for the game from him/her? So many times, I wish there was one like when the cutscene of the sunshower.

That’s nice of you to offer. He doesn’t have a Twitter, at least not one that’s public enough to be shared with me. And I’m afraid not. The issue is that the CGs take huge amounts of time rather than there not being a budget for it. He’s gotta make CGs for Step 4, the DLCs, and new character sprites, too. There isn’t space in the schedule for even more. Sorry for that.

Hi, how are you?!

Are you planning on accepting new writers or is it always the same people who write your stories??

Thanks!!

Our Life: Beginnings & Always won’t be getting new writers, but we will be hiring a new team of writers for Our Life: Now & Forever eventually!

perhaps this counts as nsfw and I'm sure it has been answered before but what does Cove prefer, chests/boobs or butts? or perhaps both :3c thank you for this wonderful game (and the patreon bonus moment, it was worth all the waiting and more ♥)

He’s a “chests of all shapes and sizes” kind of guy, haha.

i was wondering- did any of the writers actually grow up by the beach? as someone who's lived in a beach town all their life it really did feel nostalgic to play through our life 1

I was born and raised in Cali! Though, not right by the beach. We still had to make trips out, but the setting is based on my own childhood memories of small beach towns we went through.

In Derek’s upcoming DLC, will we be able to reference the pact we made as teens? (love olba and xod/xobd so much btw you’re literally amazing)

Yep, you will be able to talk about that!

Oh, sorry about the Cole being secretly L ask, then!

If you wanted context: Death Note is about this one guy who finds a notebook that kills anyone who you write the name of in there. The guy eventually develops a God Complex and starts mass killing criminals and stuff. L is the one trying to find out who is killing all these people.

Me and my sister first joked about it because I couldn't remember how to translate a word about the way Cove was sitting, so I just did the pose, and it looked a lot like how L himself sits! Then we just snowballed from there, with more and more nonsense connections.

That’s okay! Thanks for explaining. I’m sorry I didn’t know what you meant.

#our life #ask #gb patch #gb patch games

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hangingfromchandeliers · 3 years

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is baldur's gate worth the money 👀👀 im super debating it

because its in early access right now it honestly kinda depends on whether you’re okay with paying for an unfinished and sometimes buggy version of the game. only act 1 is available now and that gives you around 30-40 hours of game time for one playthrough. sometimes there’s weird bugs but honestly im not someone who’s too bothered by that. they’re never gamebreaking, just a bit funny. if you’re someone who’s bothered by that i really recommend waiting till the full game is out. also i gotta say now that ive played the ea version it is killing me that i have to wait half a year at least (and at this point i wouldnt be surprised if its a 2022 release) till 1.0 comes out. loading screen times can be a bit of a drag too, but they said they’re working on improving those. also in my currently 45 hours of playtime ive only had 2 crashes, though the frequency of those might depend on your pc

HOWEVER, the ea version is SUPER replayable. im only on my second playthrough and i played a warlock tiefling both times and it still feels refreshing. i havent even tried out any other races or classes yet and i cant wait to do that. you can even play the game as one of your companions; you can just talk to people as one of your companions and it gives you new dialogue options, like if you play as astarion you can bare your teeth at people to intimidate them, while the pc can’t do that in conversation. though the combat is my favourite part of this game!! if you’ve played dos2 you’ll know what you’re getting into. it feels SO rewarding and encourages you to think outside the box!! i was playing shadowlands (I KNOW..) before bg3 came out and bg3 made me realise that i deserve better in a video game JHHJDHJ also if you do seriously consider buying it id recommend looking up some gameplay videos on youtube so you can get a feel for it. you can also just watch a bunch of astarion videos like i did and let yourself be queerbaited into spending the full price on an early access game by the limp wristed bisexual vampire ❤️ if you liked dragon age origins, you’ll really enjoy bg3 for the writing and the characters, while if you liked any of the divinity games you’ll love the combat. the story is a bit over the top and has a bit of a... michael bay flare to it LMAO but honestly i like that the game doesnt take itself too seriously. the game is seriously so funny as a result of that and there’s been a bunch of moments that made me laugh out loud. i would recommend it, but if you’d have any problems with the things i mentioned earlier then buying the finished version might be the better move! if you do end up buying it or if you have any other questions about it do let me know!!!

#video game question? in MY inbox? hiii #Anonymous

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thecleverdame · 5 years

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Control and Release - 8

Series Masterlist

TEDTalk!Sam x Reader

*this is a repost as Tumblr deleted the last one

Summary: With the rest of the staff caught in a snowstorm, you find yourself acting as a personal assistant to the notorious Sam Winchester.

Warnings: Dom/Sub, humiliation, embarrassment, sexual objectification, mutual masturbation, spanking, cum play, fingering, anal play, orgasm control, dub-con, nipple clamps,(more warnings as the story continues)

Words: 2.3k

Beta: @ilikaicalie

Parts Nine and Ten are currently available on Patreon for a monthly pledge of $2.50. This includes early access to all my stories and Patreon exclusive content. >> CLICK HERE <<

Your hotel room is a long elevator ride up at the Four Seasons. It’s twice the size of your apartment and the mattress is the most comfortable thing you’ve ever felt in your life.

Sam’s big meeting isn’t until the morning, but he had plenty to go over with Pepper so you were sent to your room until he calls for you. You take a shower and order room service for a snack, then sit at the end of the bed and watch TV as the hours tick by.

By the time he texts you, you’re beyond ready and full of nervous anticipation. Every inch of your body is lotioned and soft, hair curled and makeup minimal but enough to add a little oomph to your everyday look.

Picking up the phone you read the message from Keith Campbell.

Open your gift and put it on. Come up my room. Wear a dress, we’re going out.

“My gift?” you mutter. There’s a knock at the door right on cue. You collect a box from the bellhop, thanking him and kicking the door shut behind you. The box itself is wrapped in nondescript, white paper and you tear it open to reveal a pearly iridescent box with the name Dark Garden Lingeriescrawled across the top.

Inside is a matching black bra and panties. Upon closer inspection, you discover the panties are crotchless, and a thrill of anticipation runs up your spine. There are garters and thigh-high pantyhose underneath them and you take out the full set, stripping down to try it on.

It takes a few tries to get it right, but when you’re done you admire yourself in the mirror. The garter sits smoothly around your waist, the rest of the set perfectly in place. It dawns on you that Sam knows your measurements. He paid close enough attention to be able to order lingerie that fits like a glove. He’s given this thought, took the time to pick out something specific to his tastes. This little delivery was pre-planned.

For the first time, you wonder if he thinks about you with the same fascination you have for him. Not wanting to indulge those thoughts you focus on the matter at hand.

You’re better prepared this time. You overpacked, and have something you think will be perfect for the occasion. It’s a bright red one shoulder cocktail dress that falls just above the knee. It’s daring but also conservative, a commentary on Sam if ever there was one.

Waiting in the hallway you knock on Sam’s door, shifting from one foot to the other. The uncertainty of your time with him makes your blood run hot, a tingle that always sets in when you know you’re about to see him.

The door swings open and there he is in an expertly tailored navy blue suit that was clearly made for him. It’s easy to get caught up in who he is and your relationship with him, but all that aside, he’s a devastatingly handsome man.

He stands there with his hand on the door, inspecting you from head to toe before stepping aside. “Come in.”

You step into his room and he shuts the door behind you.

“You look beautiful,” he comments, stalking around you in a full circle.

“Thank you for my gift.” You lick your lips as he comes to stand in front of you.

“You’re wearing it?” He grins.

As if he even needs to ask.

“Yes,” you confirm. “Would you like me to show you?”

“Not right now. We’ll save that for later.” He steps closer, lifting his hands to curl around the back of your neck, his thumb resting in the dip between your collar bones. All of his fingers stroke up the back of your neck, sending a spine tingling chill from head to toe. He rarely touches you, so the feeling of his warm hands lingering on your skin is a treat.

You look up as he stares down at you and the world narrows down to this moment. His fingers press on the base of your skull, thumbs pressing softly at your jugular notch as you stare at each other.

This is by far the most intimate moment you’ve experienced with Sam. He’s close and quiet, inches from your face, close enough that you can feel his breath. It’s as if you’ve been drugged, willing to do anything he asks of you. One of his thumbs moves up to press at the front of your throat, feeling you swallow.

“I’m going to take you to dinner,” he whispers, mouth getting closer by the second. His lips brush the corner of your mouth as he speaks. “And then I’m going to bring you back here and fuck your tits. Would you like that?”

“Yes,” you whimper, eyes closed as you swim in the feeling of him.

“I’m going to test your limits tonight, Y/N.” Your legs feel weak as he speaks, knees threatening to give out. “Some things may hurt but I promise you’ll like it all. Do you trust me?”

“Yes,” you whisper, mouth falling slack.

“If you’re good for me tonight, tomorrow I’ll fuck your pussy,” he murmurs, his mouth moving to the shell of your ear. “I bet you're so tight. Bet that wet little cunt is just begging for a cock.”

You wheeze, breath rattling in your throat as your sex begins to tingle. Part of you thought maybe he’d never actually fuck you. That this is all some power game designed to make you crave him but never actually give you what you want. If it means he’ll fuck you, you’d crawl on the floor and bark like a dog if he asked you to.

“I’ll be good.” This pledge comes out as a whine, strained and low as he pulls back to look at you.

“I know you will,” he affirms. “Now let's go have something to eat, shall we?”

You slide into the backseat of a sleek, black car and Sam settles in next you, immediately rolling up the privacy window that separates the back from the driver. You’ve barely pulled away from the curb when he reaches over and hooks a hand under your knee, laying your leg over his thigh, effectively opening you up for him.

You don’t say anything just turn to watch him as he’s focused on his where his fingers are trailing up your inner thigh, brushing gently up past the thigh highs and garter clips, until he finds exposed flesh. You suck in a breath and he grins like a wolf, refocused on whatever new torture he has in store.

“Are you wet?” he asks softly, fingers moving closer to your trembling apex.

“Ahuh.” The second the word leaves your mouth you tense up, and you feel a slap on the inside of your thigh, just above the knee.

“What did I say about talking like that?” he chastises, looking for your confirmation.

“I’m sorry. I meant yes. I’m wet.” Squirming in the seat you draw in a breath and try to sit still. It seems an impossible task with his hand inching up further and further and then you feel it. The tips of two fingers easily find the obscene hole in the crotch of your panties, sinking into your wet flesh up to his first knuckle.

“Yes you are,” he shakes his head. “What about today turned you on the most?”

“The plane was challenging,” you gulp. “But when you tell me what you’re going to do to me later, I love that. And I like when you touch me.”

“Of course you do,” he coos, his thumb finding your clit, rubbing over it lightly.

You jerk as he grazes the most sensitive part of you. You’ve been throbbing since the flight and this might prove to be your undoing.

“I’m gonna cum if you keep doing that.” Your mouth falls open, fighting the urge to close your legs around his hand.

“That’s not the way to ask.” He presses harder at your clit and you groan as his fingers sink deeper inside you. “What you meant was may I cum?”

“May I cum?” you rasp, shifting in the seat, canting your hips forward for relief but it only makes it worse.

“Absolutely not,” he quips, giving your clit one last press before removing his hand from between your legs. “Open your mouth.” You do as he says, jaw falling open as he slides his two sullied fingers over your tongue. “Suck.”

You can taste your own pussy on him. This act elicits a kind of strange arousal that you never knew would turn you on until he did it the first time. As he begins to slide his fingers deeper, you wonder if he’ll ever have you suck his cock after he fucks you, make you swallow his shaft, coated in your slick.

His fingers push deeper and you gag for a moment before regaining control, opening your throat so that he can push as deep as he wants. You’ve taken his cock deeper than this, but it’s an altogether different feeling to have his fingers wiggling in the back of your throat.

“Look at me.” He commands and you snap to attention, wide-eyed while he fucks your mouth with his fingers. A tear slides down your cheek, as you clench your thighs together. Your throat makes its own unique squelching sound and it’s enough to make your cunt clench, the thought of him using you like this is filthy and beyond exciting.

“That’s enough for now I think.” He removes his finger from your mouth and you close your eyes, trying to pull yourself together. He plucks a kleenex from his pocket and wipes his hand off before lifting your leg off him.

“You know,” he leans back in his seat, sipping a glass of seltzer. “It used to be when I went on these trips I’d eat alone or order room service. Having you here is far more entertaining.”

“I’m glad you’re enjoying our arrangement.” You smile, crossing your ankles under the table. “Can I ask you something?”

“You can ask,” he volleys back. “But I may not answer.”

“Why don’t you drink alcohol? Is it just the whole health thing?”

“Partly,” he concedes, setting his drink on the table but keeping his hand over it. “Alcohol does a lot of damage to your liver over time. But more than that, I am in complete control of myself. Aware of my surroundings. There are dark things in this world, bad things happen all the time and most people never see it coming. After something terrible happens people tell themselves there’s nothing they could have done, but most of the time that’s just a load of shit. There’s almost always more that can be done. They could have paid attention, been more careful, worked harder. I don’t drink because I want to see what’s coming.”

“Well.” You sit back. “I thought you were just gonna feed me some line about being on Keto or something.”

He laughs at that, a deep laugh that puts a genuine smile on his face.

It makes sense from what you know about him professionally and personally. At W & S there are people coming at him from all sides, there’s always a new offer, a pitch for the next great idea. And after what Max and Pepper told you about his girlfriend and brother, this falls right in line. The rug has been pulled out from under him before, he’s not about to let it happen again.

“I have a question for you.” He sits forward with that trademark soul-piercing stare.

“Okay.” You nod. “I’m an open book.”

“What were you doing delivering mail?” He looks genuinely perplexed, eyes narrowing. “I know you said that you wanted experience in a professional environment, but why not a receptionist? You’re intelligent, attractive, well-spoken when you want to be. What brought you to the W & S mail room?”

You’re quiet for a moment, looking down at your hands folded in your lap. You look back at him before you speak. “You did.”

“What do you mean?” His interest is peaked.

“I worked in a factory, by choice more than anything. I can work hard when I need to, but the truth is I hate it. I’m a daydreamer by nature. Anyway, I was watching my life pass me by. One night I was scrolling on Facebook and came across your TED Talk, the one you did in Palo Alto. You talked about personal accountability and making changes and committing to them. It was what I needed to hear at that moment. I Googled you, found out your firm was in Boston and I applied for the first job I thought I could get. Not because I was trying to get close to you, or anything stalkery, just because I wanted to be around that kind of energy. I spent the last twenty-eight years around stoners and dropouts. I’m ready for more.”

“Really?” He grins, looking at you with some kind of new found appreciation. “So there is a little bit of a go-getter in you.”

“You have no idea, Mr. Winchester,” you tease, leaning toward him. “With the proper motivation, I bet I could do just about anything I put my mind to.”

“I’ll take that as a challenge.” He lifts his chin in your direction.

Parts Nine and Ten are currently available on Patreon for a monthly pledge of $2.50. This includes early access to all my stories and Patreon exclusive content. >> CLICK HERE <<

#tedtalk!sam #sam winchester x reader #sam winchester smut #sam winchester fanfic #Control and release

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mattgambler · 5 years

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Phoenix Point and why I want it to live

No TLDR this time. I said in the past that I could write pages over pages about this. I guess its time to see how many pages we are actually talking about here. Phoenix Point is currently rather mediocre. From the soundtrack to the many bugs and rather rough implementations, the missing features that were envisioned in the kickstarter campaign, the 5 scheduled DLCS, the epic store exclusivity, the inferior graphical polish in comparison to Firaxis’ XCOM reboot, the inferior complexity in comparison to Longwar, probably even the inferior Idontknow in comparison to the very first XCOM games from way back when, I didnt play those. If you are looking for something to hate in this game, you dont have to look too hard, there is something here for everyone. The reason Ive been a determined defender of Phoenix Point is not simply because I have a different taste in games than the mainstream however, but because I feel there is a way deeper underlying problem at work here. I’ll come back to that later. Btw starting now, when I say XCOM, I mean Firaxis’ XCOM. Personally I want more games like XCOM. More games like Battlebrothers, Mordheim: City of the Damned, Invisible Inc, hell, even Bloodbowl, even though I dont dig the sports angle. Games with permadeath, nameable characters, dynamic overworld systems and missions and situations that are created ideally by circumstance, not by simply playing mission 1, then mission 2, until you reach what the devs decided to be the last one they would make for the game. I thoroughly enjoy that concept of progression and many turnbased strategy titles just dont do it for me because they are too linear, even when they are otherwise nicely crafted experiences. Druidstone: The Secret of the Menhir Forest is a nice example of this, the game looks nice, sounds nice and is very well made, but it lacks the one thing I enjoy most in all the games I mentioned earlier. Along comes Phoenix Point and the moment I look at this game I know that it is all about scratching that specific itch. Not only that, it also brings with it a variety of creative features to even improve the established turnbased squad tactics formula. I didnt lie when I said I think that it is in many ways better than XCOM. Just that... WHAT?!?! ...the overall game doesnt compare well if we look at the sum of their parts at the moment. YOU CANT BE SERIOUS!!!!! About Phoenix Point being better in many ways? Sure, let me make a list. 1) Aiming In XCOM you aim, you have an x% chance to hit, you either hit or you dont. While widely accepted because of the quality of the overall games, its a pretty simple system that becomes especially frustrating when your guns model on screen is touching the enemies forehead and you still manage to miss. Or when a flashbanged and suppressed sectoid crits you in full cover after rolling a natural 20. In Phoenix Point bullets get simulated and trace a path from the barrel of your gun to a target that they then either hit or miss. Smaller enemies in Phoenix Point are hard to hit not because the game designers arbitrarily decided so, but because smaller enemies are simply smaller. In comparison, in XCOM you roll dice. 2) Modular enemies Similar to Battlebrothers, Phoenix Point has you encounter the same brigand thug (crabmen) over and over again. The enemy itself doesnt matter as much, its more about the number of different variations you can encounter. Brigant thugs can come equipped with simple helmets and/or armor as well as different weapons that have different abilities. They also have different faces on top of that. They are by far not the only enemy in the game, but even if they were, by the time you encounter the exact same thug a second time you wont be able to tell anymore because you have seen so many others inbetween. The same goes for most enemies in Battlebrothers (with a few exceptions), it becomes way more about your opponents equipment than about his actual type or class. Phoenix Point goes for the very same approach, but falls short because of a variety of reasons. To name just one, the first time you encounter New Jericho as a faction, you fight four New Jericho soldiers and all four of them have the same armor, the same weapon and even the same face. To hammer it home the mission also always takes place on a variation of the exact same map. It is an absolute travesty. The ambition is there and in random encounters on the map you can see where it is supposed to go, with every enemy type in the game being designed in a way that allows for as many variations as the devs can think of, from paralysis tentacles and bloodsucking arms to mist generators and everything inbetween. The possibilities are endless and from the standard crab to the giant bosses every enemy is designed with this modularity in mind. In XCOM in comparison, you have a variety of different enemies, but for the entirety of the first month (what is that, 3-7 missions?) you only fight the sectoid. Or maybe the drone too, I havent played vanilla in forever. Longwar tries to spice that up by using preexisting models and assigning new abilities to them, making some models bigger and giving others new abilities, but at the end of the day the sectoid looks the way the sectoid looks. I love what it looks like btw. But modular enemies are decidedly cooler. 3) Scale In XCOM you control 4, later up to 6 soldiers at the same time. In Longwar it goes up to 8, or 12 in that one mission. In Phoenix Point you start out the same way, but to my knowledge you can bring as many soldiers to any mission as you can get there via aircraft. Meaning that as soon as you get a second manticore you can theoretically have up to 12 soldiers in a mission, or 18 with a third. Naturally you would probably want to split your forces instead and be in 3 places at the same time (and you can), but this sort of thing being possible, both the 18 soldiers in one mission as well as the 3 different squads doing missions in 3 different places of the planet, is something XCOM simply does not offer. 4) Other features Be it vehicles, giant enemies, diplomacy or the amount of control you get on the overworld map, Phoenix Point does (or attempts to do) a huge number of things that in XCOM are simply nonexistant. In XCOM you dont get to decide were to fly, missions are simply spawned in popup fashion, the skyranger is on autopilot, “diplomacy” is managed by talking to top secret bald guy representing the council and by sometimes fulfilling a councilrequest. The only opposing faction apart from the aliens is EXALT which can be regarded as more of a separate mission type with human enemies and not really as a faction that contributes in any diplomatic way. Dont get me wrong, I dont think XCOM needs diplomacy in order to be good. XCOM is already good, fantastic in fact. But if we compare based on features alone and not the quality of their implementation, then Phoenix Point is doing A LOT of things that XCOM never even touched. This is in no way me trying to trash XCOM. I love XCOM, especially Longwar. However for the sake of an at least somewhat fair comparison the only games we should compare Phoenix Point to at this Point are XCOM Enemy Unknown and XCOM 2, both at launch. Bringing Longwar into the mix is something I do for the sake of providing a third angle, not because I am blind to the fact of how ludacris it would be to compare a newly launched game with an extensive overhaul mod that was in the making for years after the vanilla game and even its expansion were already released. As I was saying, along comes Phoenix Point doing all those very ambitious things. And it gets DESTROYED. To quote Beaglerush, the probably best known XCOM streamer out there: “But honestly, for anyone with experience in the XCOM genre, anyone who likes XCOM games, and anyone particularly who likes XCOM games at a harder difficulty or likes to obviously, like, play well, I do not think it is possible to enjoy this game unless you are getting a big paycheck and you are a good actor.” To be clear, I didnt watch the entire footage that made him come to that conclusion and I dont want to comment too much on what “playing well” means, but i have played Longwar on the highest difficulty in ironmanmode for 2000 hours (without beating it, but also always with Training Roulette active) and I have beaten XCOM 2 on highest difficulty in ironman mode. I do consider Longwar as one of my favourite games of all time and I do consider myself as someone who has experience with the genre, likes games and likes to play them “well”, or at least on highest difficulty. I dont agree with Beagle (duh), but I can of course see where he might be coming from. In its current state Phoenix Point is not finished. Playable, but even for an early access game its still pretty rough, with many mechanics not or only sometimes working (leanout, aim and aimsnapping, end turn, details, you get the point), features missing, performance issues, lackluster soldier customization, lackluster diplomacy options, a rather simple skilltree, questionable balance, etc. Don’t look at me like that, if I wanted to I could jump that hatetrain any time! But if I was to do that, where would that leave us? The XCOM genre, as Beagle calls it, is a niche genre at the best of times. Not only regarding the playerbase but also regarding game developers willing to invest time and money into creating something new. Xenonauts 2 is a year or more behind its originally panned release date with not much news to speak of, Terra Invicta is a distant memory of a game that will maybe one day still be released and Im still waiting for the XCOM 3 announcement and who knows if it will even come. Especially after we, the players, completely demolish Phoenix Point to the point where I would just cancel the 5 planned DLCS right now if I was in charge of the devteam. The main reason I defended Phoenix Point was not because of what the game currently is but because of what the game could be after 5 more DLCs. Ive played every backerbuild of the game and statements like “the game is still what it was 2 years ago” are simply and factually false. Especially between backerbuild 4 and 5 there was a huge jump in quality and between 5 and the release version that same jump has ocurred again - with an entire game that is now playable and completable. Yes, it could have more voiced lines instead of text, yes, it doesnt have the sexy “alerted sectoid” animation sequence when you run into a new enemy pod (pods dont exist in PP but you get me) and sure, the epic exclusive sucks I guess and I dont care much for the soundtrack. But after Backerbuild 5, who knows where the game will be after the next DLC? And the next? If you compare XCOM Enemy Unknown with XCOM Enemy Within, the difference was breathtaking. And here we have a game that has so much work already done, so many assets created, so much code already in place, and we, the players, punch them in the face and shout “NOT GOOD ENOUGH!”. You wanna go back to the drawing board, have somebody else start fresh on something that could be better in a year or two if we are lucky? Ive been looking for a game like XCOM for literally years. Battle Brothers was the closest I found. Tens, if not hundreds of others inbetween failed hard, from “Warhammer 40k: Mechanicus” to “Legends: Viking” to “Wildermyth” and basically everything inbetween. And here we have a game that seems to have the right idea, the right amount of ambition and a good amount of the work already done and we are bitchslapping them left and right just so we can go back to getting hyped about the next mediocre linear story experience. Sure, them releasing already is a shame. But if I was the one to decide, I would give them the same amount of money again and triple it and tell them to finish the job instead of spitting in their face when they come to us and lowkey tell us that they ran out of money. And I would send them flowers and tell them that Im sorry. Anybody can polish a game with extra cash, but getting the core idea right is something that even Firaxis almost failed to do with XCOM 2, as far as Im concerned. I said earlier, that there was a deeper underlying problem here and that I would come back to it and here it is, ladies and gentlemen. Modernday gamers are an ungrateful, hateful bunch of whiny spoiled brats, who think they are entitled to only the best of the best while in fact they “deserve” nothing. The entire concept of a kickstarter campaign is that you provide funds and trust so a bunch of people can try to realize their vision. If you dont like the outcome, then that doesnt mean they betrayed you, it means you have poor judgement. Notice how I say judgement and not taste. You dont have poor judgement because you dont like the outcome, but because you gave them money in the first place. I should maybe add at this point that my anger is mostly directed towards the public reaction and the phoenix point subreddit and not towards my own viewership. (hello) Phoenix Point is not the first game that has had me feel like the entire gaming landscape is slowly spiraling out of control. 5 years ago I thought quality means sales. At this point Im worried that a high marketing budget means sales. And I dread the possibility that 5 years from now I might be convinced that a high marketing budget means quality. Some of the best games this year were literally destroyed by players. Artifact wasn’t only boykotted, but actively brutalized, with people at some point purposefully streaming porn and torture under the Artifact tag on Twitch. Pathologic 2 had the devteam almost go bankrupt after poor sales and unfavourable reviews by people that barely grasped the basics of the game. All the while people feed money to the ginormous immortal that is Magic The Gathering and praise Hideo Kojima for his “unique vision” for Death Stranding. I didnt play Death Stranding and Magic can be pretty fun, but does nobody see the smothering double standards in play here? Im not saying that Phoenix Point has no problems right now in terms of quality. Some of the issues player encounter are in fact inexcusable, at least longterm. But XCOM 2 also had a bumpy launch with long loading times and tons of bugs and then they were fixed and today there are people that think XCOM 2 is better than Longwar. Incomprehensible to me how anyone could think that, but time and some postlaunch fixes did clearly change peoples minds. I think the main reason Phoenix Point got so much hate on launch in comparison to XCOM 2 (which also released 3 DLCs ,or was it more) is because its drastically different and more ambitious in many ways, not because it is half as bad as people make it out to be. XCOM is just like Phoenix Point, just dumbed down I guess. Kappa. (I hate it when people use the term “dumbed down”. This is a joke. Ffs why do I have to explain this)

#XCOM #Phoenix Point

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language-of-love · 5 years

Text

this is his life now...

Summary: Honestly, I just needed to write something soft and it turned into a bit of smut... this is set a week after Singles Week and their first "I love you" declarations. (Read on AO3, Rated M, missing kisses series)

xxxxxxx

Patrick’s skin is nearly translucent as David traces the bluish-green vein beneath it with his finger tip, his thumb lightly rubbing back and forth along the soft inside of Patrick’s elbow. Patrick is still asleep, or at least doing a good job of pretending, but David doesn’t really care which is true. It’s too early to get up, with dawn barely breaking and the last of the evening cricket song just beginning to fade.

He’d protested the night before as Patrick had blown the air mattress up before fitting it into the bed of Roland’s truck. But Patrick had just smiled and told him to wait as he piled blanket after blanket on top, finally finishing with the fluffiest comforter David had ever seen. He’d begrudgingly admitted that the final product was indeed comfortable, but talking had quickly stopped being a priority as they both made the most of this precious time alone. His back has a minor ache from the activities they’d engaged in, but it’s a welcome thing, and so incredibly worth the lingering discomfort.

Roland will need his truck back in a few hours, but there are many minutes in those hours to savor and David plans to, even if that just means watching the sun come up with his naked body pressed against Patrick’s as he sleeps. The field they are parked in is at the far end of the Hockley Farm, an unused section the family never cleared that Patrick somehow got permission for them to camp in. It should make David uncomfortable knowing both Roland and Mr. Hockley know of this little excursion, but it’s a small town and just about everything anyone does gets spread far and wide within a matter of days anyway. So, he’ll just roll with it, too blissed out to honestly care, not when he knows there is no one about to burst into this moment to interrupt.

Patrick stirs, but only to tuck the arm David has been caressing into his chest, taking David’s hand with him. David smiles against Patrick’s hair as his hand is pressed against Patrick’s heart, the thump thump of his heartbeat drumming softly against David’s palm. It’s only been a week since David told Patrick he loves him, but fuck, he wants to declare it again now, feel Patrick’s heart race in response, say it over and over until the overwhelming strength of what he feels can be properly conveyed. He’s underwater with it all. Not drowning, but definitely submerged, but knowing he’s not alone in the depth of this thing is helping. Patrick had admitted something last night after they’d worn each other out, bodies still sweat slicked and breathing labored, that he’s been in love for a long time, biding his time until he couldn’t hold back the words from David any longer.

And the admission had brought David to tears, ripping apart that place inside of him that had been built to protect, that part that had wondered if he was just incapable of ever being truly loved. With a few simple, truthful words, Patrick had changed everything he’s ever known to be true. And then he’d kissed David’s tears away and healed him further with his mouth and his hands, rolling David onto his back to be cherished until the last embers of their campfire were carried off into the night.

It’s no wonder Patrick’s so tired now.

Curling even tighter against his back, David pushes his knee between Patrick’s thighs, bringing himself right up against Patrick’s ass in a way that has him stifling a groan. Patrick either still manages to hear it or perhaps can feel David hardening against him, as he’s scooting back, pressing himself further into David’s body. It’s like a shot of adrenaline the way David reacts, quickly sliding his hand free from beneath Patrick’s on his chest so he can spread his palm over Patrick’s belly, fingertips dancing against the light smattering of hair that leads to Patrick’s groin. His mouth finds the skin where Patrick’s neck and shoulder meet, sucking lightly until he feels Patrick dig his head deeper into the pillow under which David’s other arm is trapped, giving David better access to kiss as he pleases.

“Fuck…” he hears Patrick breathe, his spine stretching against David’s chest as David’s fingers slide further down, thumb barely brushing where Patrick is now undoubtedly aching to be touched. David’s hips rut forward on their own as soon as he takes Patrick in hand, unable to stay still even as he tries to focus on lavishing Patrick with the same kind of attention he’d showered David with the night before. Working him slowly, he licks at the skin of Patrick’s throat, his own breath heaving as Patrick begins to rock his hips in search of more. David is rock hard now, but tries to hold on through the delicious torture of Patrick’s ass rubbing against him with each thrust. Finding a faster rhythm with his hand, he lets his thoughts from earlier spill from his lips, whispering against Patrick’s ear how much he loves him, how good Patrick makes him feel all the time, and how badly he wants to make Patrick come. Patrick, ever aiming for perfection, does, his free hand reaching forward to brace against the side of the truck as his body is racked with the tremors of his release.

“Overachiever…” David mumbles, slowing his hand to a leisurely pull that falters as Patrick’s hip cants backwards again, trapping David’s erection against his belly with the upper curve of Patrick’s ass. He’s moving with purpose now and David is lost, quickly releasing Patrick’s now spent cock so he can grip his hip, angling them both just right to give him the friction he needs.

“Is this good?” Patrick asks, voice husky as it’s still full of sleep.

“So good. So...so...good.” David’s response is hard to get out as he’s careening on the edge, just needing the tiniest bit more. He gets it when Patrick lifts his leg an inch, letting David slide just close enough for the base of his cock to fit right into the crease of Patrick’s ass. They both moan at the same time, Patrick’s hand reaching back to dig into the flesh of David’s thigh as David thrusts hard. David moves his hand from Patrick’s hip to grip the inside of his elbow, fingers once again finding that soft skin as his release pulses in the space between his belly and the small of Patrick’s back. The moment is somehow more intimate and emotional than anything they’ve experienced, at least that’s how David feels, as tears gather in the corner of his eyes and he buries his slightly trembling lips against Patrick’s overheated skin.

He assumes Patrick must feel the same, as he’s turning in David’s arms now, eyes warm and full of love and passion as he lifts his chin and pulls David in to a kiss. David’s sure Patrick can taste the emotion he’s feeling, as his tears are gathering at the seam of their lips. But David wants him to know and just kisses him deeper, sucking in a shallow breath against his mouth as he rolls Patrick beneath him. He never could have imagined that some of the most sensual experience of his life would take place in the bed of Roland’s truck, but that’s just the way his life is now. So he just leans in. Or embraces joy as his mother would say. And there isn’t anything more joyful than kissing the man that he loves as the sun makes its slow climb, waking the birds to sing their morning songs.

Nature is only beautiful for so long, though, as insects David has never seen before come to investigate and the need for food becomes impossible to ignore. He shrieks as the cold water in Patrick’s campfire shower-in-a-bag thing hits his skin, but when he looks down and sees tiny lovebites on his belly and on the inside of his bicep, he smiles and makes quick work of rinsing himself off. Patrick does the same and they gather the rest of their things and head back into town. Roland gives them a truly inappropriate smirk when he takes the keys for his truck from Patrick, but David just rolls his eyes and takes Patrick’s hand to drag him away.

David crowds Patrick against the side of the motel around the corner from his room and kisses him soundly, letting his hands roam over the now clothes covered skin he’d worshiped all night and into the morning. It’s only the knowledge that a member of his family or Stevie could turn the corner at any moment that stops him, leaving Patrick with a smile so wide David can still see it through his windshield as he pulls his car out of the parking lot to head back to Ray’s.

So this is what being loved feels like, he thinks to himself as he leans against his hotel room door and watches Patrick’s car disappear around the corner.

But then he’s falling inside as Alexis swings the door open and he’s stumbling to the floor and she’s laughing at him as she jumps over his body so she can start her morning run.

This is his life now.

And even sprawled out on the floor of this ratty ass motel, he’s really fucking happy about it.

#david x patrick #david rose #patrick brewer #schitt's creek #schitts creek #my sc fic #david x patrick ff #missing kisses #this is basically some PWP y'all #sorry not sorry #this is his life now

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thatfairyfangirl · 6 years

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True Colors Chapter 1

A/N: This was written before Infinity War came out. Screw Bucky being kept in Wakanda, I never liked that ending anyway.

Normally I would post this on Wednesdays but I just couldn't wait to get this one out! You can expect regular updates with this every Wednesday or if you cant wait every Sunday on Patreon link below.

The summer heat beat down on the city as thick storm clouds brewed teasing the idea of rain to break the hot spell that had taken New York hostage. Outside protesters stood at every corner with signs inscribed with “Free the Heroes” “Cap didn't get iced for this” and “Hawkeye is NOT a target”. Unlike in other cities there was no shouting and screaming for their release...that wasn’t what needed to change, it was the law. In the center of the group you sat, their rainbow haired leader with your beloved guitar belting out a strong song showing the public’s solidarity with the heroes and how much the world needs them as everyone sang along with you in protest. The job didn’t pay, but it was a cause you whole-heartedly believed in… You didn’t mean to become a political activist, you didn’t wake up one morning and say “I’m going to try to change the world.” But you did stand out, and the songs you wrote resonated with anti-accords and pro-mutant rights themes...and that certainly was no accident. Too bad changing the world didn’t pay the bills… but for that there were the parties you would DJ for at night, and tonight you were lined up to work for one of your closest friends and most loyal of clients...Tony Stark himself.

~ ~ ~ ~

Late in the night music raged as the mist of fog machines mixed with air conditioning working its hardest to keep far too many cool as they moved to an unrelenting techno-beat provided by none other than you. Rainbow tendrils whipped past your eyes as you bobbed back and forth to the sounds you were creating. Stark had always been one of your main sources of business...the man did love a good party. But this one he had to beg you to take, only agreeing to it once he promised to work on getting the accords revoked. Drinks flowed freely as those legally able to call themselves Avengers blew off some steam...well, all except for Vision, who was standing in the corner rather stagnantly, not sure of the purpose of this activity, nor what to do.

~ ~ ~ ~

“So, Tony, didn’t you say the whole ‘team’ was going to be here?” You asked with a smirk, giving the word team some air-quotes as you packed up your mixing board, all the guests now long gone. “Where’s that spider guy I saw on the news? He looked so…” You paused nibbling at your lower lip with a sinful grin, thinking about the best way to describe what you saw. Tight? Muscular? Nah, don’t want to sound like a slut...“Acrobatic.”

“Oh Spider-ling? Umm that depends...would you happen to know if the school year goes this late into June?” Tony answered with a smirk.

“You mean he’s…?”

“Fifteen.” Your face lost all color as Tony chortled at the way your foot fit so perfectly in your mouth without you even trying.

“Ew...ok no to the spider-boy.” You finally laughed off the idea with him, guess you never know who’s under those masks these days. “Pizza and booze?”

“Right this way.” He answered with a chuckle, he sure as hell wasn’t letting this one go for a long while.

Drinks firmly in hand you sunk into the couch in the common area. “So what about everyone else?” It was obvious you were referring to the Avengers who didn’t sign the accords, those on Cap’s side. He knew how you spent your days, hell, you mixed in a few of the songs you had recorded about the issue tonight as a not so subtle reminder.

“Yeah, I’m still working on it...But I’m going to get them out.”

“Out? Out of where?” And there was the face, a rare one that you learned after years of friendship with Tony, you had hit a sore spot he didn’t want to discuss. “Okay,” you paused handing him his drink. “Never have I ever worked for Stark Industries.” The tradition had started long before you worked on the party scene, when you were still DJing clubs to make ends meet and maybe get your songs noticed...though Tony did notice your talent he didn’t have the means to get you that recording contract you yearned for...But after a night of the game he had decided he liked you enough to hire you for all functions he’d have and at least that got your foot into most high profile parties in the city. From there the game just kept going.

Tony let out a breath of a laugh taking a drink. “You used that one before, drink up.”

Hours passed as Natasha T’challa and Rhodey joined you in your long standing game with your old friend.

“Okay. Let me think.” T’challa let out a bourbon scented breath as he searched his mind.

“No thinking just go!” You retaliated as you threw a handful of popcorn in his general direction.

“Alright alright,” he chuckled, “never have I ever colored my hair.” As the words left his mouth everyone looked around to see who was now forced to drink.

Soon all eyes were on you as everyone waited for the bottle to touch your lips yet it stayed firmly on the table. “What? I haven’t!” You assured everyone as you propped your feet up on the couch. Even in your inebriated state you knew the conversation this was going to generate...might as well get comfortable.

“Oh come on! How are you even going to pretend that’s natural?” Rhodey asked pointing to the rainbow that now sat in a loose braid to keep out of your eyes.

“Ummmmm… Well, for starters…” You trailed off as you focused your mind on the colors in your hair. They all watched as they shifted and changed from your usual cascading rainbow to a soft blond then back to as it once was. “Did seriously no one notice that there were colored lights despite me not bringing a lighting rig?” You chuckled before explaining that you are in fact a mutant, and colors are your main game.

“Oh my god you’re a mutant!” Tony leaned forward with shock and intrigue, and just a little upset at himself for letting this slip by him for all the years you’ve known each other. “What else can you do?”

With a sigh you reached into your bag, pulling out the a t-shirt that you had planned on wearing home, pulling it over your head to cover the rainbow bikini top you had been performing in, suddenly feeling a bit exposed now that your secret was out…

“Officially I’m classified as a Photokinetic… But my training was mostly in chronokinesis. Bending light changing colors… That sort of thing. But I do have this thing they taught me, I call it a prism blast. Basically I can focus light into a super concentrated high heat rainbow beam, and well...You ever burnt ants with a magnifying glass before? Kinda like that.”

“Wait? Your training?” Natasha asked, rather curious where you would have trained for this.

You nodded. “Upstate there’s a school for people like me. You heard of the X-men?” A few of the group nodded. “That’s their base. I trained under them.”

“Do you think you could make someone invisible?” Tony asked as he sat forward with that smirk that told you he had a plan brewing.

“Oh, easily!”

Tony’s smirk grew into a smile dancing along his lips. “Still want to meet Captain Rogers?”

Tag List:

@sillydecoy

@nosleeptillbucky

Announcement from the writer:

I am also on Patreon! You can find me on Patreon HERE. I know, I know, it sounds like I am expecting you to pay for my writing but fear not! I will only be charging $1 a month, and even that is voluntary. The majority of my fics will be available for free. The $1 subscription will be for access to the really adult content stuff I have been sitting on such as what I have been calling “Blind Date’s Deleted Scene” and access to my discord AND early access to fics! Including True Colors up to chapter 5 as of this past Sunday.

I will still post fics on Tumblr up until they are no longer welcomed by the staff, but patrons will be able to view them early.

For those who have trouble with hyperlinks on their device or find it hard to click a small word vs an actual link here is the full link to my new Patreon https://www.patreon.com/fairyfangirl

#avengers #avengers x reader #mutant!reader #fanfiction #avengers fanfiction #true colors

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ellalovertay · 4 years

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According to my birth certificate, I turn 18 this year. It's weird because I am now a legal adult and can do legal adult things… whoa. Through 18 years of my life I've had many ups and downs, mistakes and accomplishments and laughs and tears. So as my “kid” years come to an end and my adult years pave the path ahead of me, I thought I'd share some lessons I've learned before reaching 18. Because it's 2020 and sharing is caring.

I've learned (and am still working on) accepting that it is okay not to be okay. When people ask you “how are you doing” there is nothing wrong with the response of “I'm not doing so good.” I know how hard it can be to express honesty and feel vulnerable but that’s human emotion, it's good. There is nothing wrong with not being okay, and you are allowed to experience that, it shouldn't be something that is feared. Next time you feel like that, say, “I'm not fine right now but I am going to be fine soon.”

I found what makes me happy. Like not just a, “Oh yeah I’m great today” kind of feeling, but a lifelong happiness feeling. I've been writing songs since I was 9 years old and in the past 6 months, songwriting has been the only thing keeping me on my feet and putting a smile on my face. Lyrics from other artists (shoutout to Taylor Swift Selena Gomez and Halsey) have always spoken and resonated deeply with me. So when things in my life started going downhill, I wrote my own lyrics. I hope one day people will experience my lyrics and they will be able to help someone like they helped me.

Trust is important. In any type of relationship with friends, family, pets etc, trust is key. A lot has happened in my life recently. Over the course of 6 months I've completely lost my trust in everyone and everything. I'm slowly working on building it back up again and learning how I can trust... but that is easier said than done.

It's okay to be confused about what's going to happen in the future. I have changed what I want my job to be at LEAST 5 times since 9th grade. Some examples include a marine biologist, a BAU member in the FBI, a criminologist, and a neurologist. Of course all of these things strike interest in me and make me happy, but I can't see myself there in 10 years. I've learned music is important to me and I want to study song/lyric writing along with vocals and music industry in college, with hopes to become a singer/songwriter.

Halsey has KILLER music. I knew around 3 of her songs before her album “Manic” dropped. I stayed up for release, downloaded the whole thing, listened to it and fell in love. Then tour tickets dropped, I got early access and I bought them in english class. She is really phenomenal and I love her dearly.

Some people in life will backstab you, others will stand by your side. But true friends will talk sh!t about the backstabbers and want to kick their asses for you. I've found that person and I'm so glad that she is in my life. And for once in my whole life, I feel like I have a best friend who won't just drop me.

I’ve learned you don't owe anybody an explanation. If someone asks,” How are you” and you say, “Not good” you are not entitled to state why. That is for you and your mind to know. If your best friend asks “do you want to come over/” and you say “no” Guess what… you DON'T owe them an explanation as to why! Don't ever feel pressured to explain things to people about yourself or situations you're in.

I'm literally a spot on Libra. My star sign is SO COOL! Up until June I never cared about my sign or horoscope, but when I found out the Libra symbol was the “Scales of Justice…” I read up on some stuff. I was SHOCKED by how much I fit my sign. Example being: we get irritated when people ask us stupid questions... Like if that isn't me then what is???

Being 18 means I get to vote! With everything going on in the world right now i've taken to educating myself as much as possible before november. I'm undecided (edit: not anymore😆) and excited but scared.

When your parents say, “Don't talk to strangers online” don't listen. I've made some of my best friends online (through Taylor, omg shocker) and I don't know what I would do without them. So here's a toast to my real friends: Vivian, Ella, Emily, Jordan, Delaney, Megan, Shannon, Sophie, Lauren, Brooke, Addison, Lexi, Hayley, Ry, Mikayla, Liv, Meghan, Rachel, Kaylee, and so many more <3

I've learned that everything happens for a reason. When I got confirmed, the idea that “everything happens for a reason” really stuck with me. The belief only grew stronger after I attended Kairos in November 2019. I truly believe God has a plan and everything happening in my life is going to end up being a part of some greater, master plan. God gives the hardest battles to his strongest warriors and just know that the shadows can’t last forever. Storms help the flowers flourish, and afterwards comes a rainbow.

My mom is a warrior.

Taylor Swift. That's it. That's the tweet. Very long story short I’ve listened to Taylor since fearless in 2008. Thanks mom! In 2012, when “RED” came out, I memorized lyrics and wanted concert tickets. The same thing in 2014 with “1989.” It wasn't until “reputation” in 2017 that I understood the “fandom” and became a full on swiftie. Fun fact: I have a stan account on twitter, tumblr and instagram where her management team follows me! Taylor has helped me through so many hard times. Her and her music have made me laugh, smile, cry, and dance. She is one of the only constants in my life and she treats her fans like her best friends. I have made so many friends through her that I can't wait to meet. And one day, I will meet Taylor Swift.

I can play instruments! I learned the ukulele when I was 12 because Tess was learning guitar. I hated it. I felt so trapped and the instructor was sooo mean. I wanted to play chords and sing Taylor Swift. Nope. He had me playing strings to old folk music. Long story short I quit.About 2 years later i picked it back up from the depths of my closet and taught myself strings. I got bored and put it away. On july 25th 2019, I picked it back up and this time, I fell in love. I quickly learned chords and by september, I was writing my own music. I thought to myself, “guitar cant be that hard” so I went and took tessa's guitar. I hated it. It was way to big and my hands were far too small. Then, a few months later I tried again. No change. Quarantine was now here and I was bored out of my mind. So… guess what I did on March 19th 2020… learned guitar and fell in love. Now, I'll play until my fingers bleed. Guitar and Ukulele make me so happy and the moral of the story is that if at first you don't succeed, try and try again.

Karma is real. If someone does something sh!tty to you, it will come back to bite them in the butt. Trust me.

I am tiny. Sadly, I'm done growing and I've been done since 8th grade. I'm forever 5 foot ½ inch- the ½ is VERY important. Also my foot size is forever a 4. Basically it sucks. I can't find any shoes that aren't pink, sparkley, have a 1 inch heel and glow up. With that being said s/o to Nordstrom rack for carrying my size.

I've learned to take in every moment. You never know when you won't be able to do the simplest things. Everyday we take so many things for granted. So just let every second of everyday sink in and let it resonate with you because there will never be another moment like that one.

I learned that I am allowed to format my own opinions. The beliefs that I have and I value don't have to be the same as everyone else's beliefs: especially my family and friends. I have come to the realization that I view situations in a different light than those around me and it's 100% okay for me to speak my mind. As a young girl I am allowed to grow up and base my social, personal and political opinions on what I believe is right and wrong, not what other people push me to believe.

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hidoose · 5 years

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You can’t make a wedding film in Pakistan without comparisons to DDLJ: Wajahat Rauf

New Post has been published on https://www.hidoose.com/you-cant-make-a-wedding-film-in-pakistan-without-comparisons-to-ddlj-wajahat-rauf/

You can’t make a wedding film in Pakistan without comparisons to DDLJ: Wajahat Rauf

As I realised for the second time this month, it’s tough to book an online ride during Ramazan. The long wait wasn’t awkward at Wajahat Rauf’s house. The director of the upcoming romance-comedy-drama film (or as he calls it, “a family film”) was good company.

Rauf’s carefree, candid, all-accepting attitude is refreshing, and a bit infectious, as we talk about his upcoming film Chhalawa — an Eidul Fitr release that may seem quite familiar; but that, if you ask him, is a good thing, although he does tell you, in the subtlest manner possible, to reserve the final opinion until the film comes out.

An Eveready and Hum Films’ release, Chhalawa seems like a stereotypical film about a full-of-himself hero waltzing into a wedding to whisk away the bride-to-be. Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

“It wasn’t that obvious when I was writing the film,” Rauf tells me. “However, I did realise that the moment I had written that the girl was living in Punjab, people would be instantly comparing it with Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jaeingey(DDLJ) and Punjab Nahin Jaungi (PNJ). Even though it’s a reversal. In PNJ, the girl was from Karachi and Humayun was from Punjab.”

The actress is the same, though, I add, but then again we have so few to choose from.

Rauf has already made peace with the fact that the film will draw comparisons, no matter how different it may be. “The bride’s dresses would end up looking like the ones from DDLJ or PNJ, the accent would sound similar. A thousand comparisons would pop up,” he said.

“Just a few days back, someone told me that the bridge scene in my film [evident in the trailer], looks like it was inspired by the climax of DDLJ, where Shah Rukh Khan was beaten down with batons. It’s as if no one was beaten down by sticks in Bollywood before that,” Rauf says.

“Then, there are frame-by-frame comparisons from the last scene of the song ‘Ruk Jaa O Dil Deewanay’ from DDLJ, where SRK lets go of Kajol and she falls, and the scene [also in the trailer] where Asad Siddiqui loses his grip on Zara Noor Abbas and she falls,” he continues.

People will see what they want to see.

At times, Rauf is deliberately spoofing the genre. “I own it,” Rauf says. “It was completely deliberate at times.”

There is a scene in the film where Azfar Rehman, the lead actor of the film, apes SRK and Mehwish Hayat, the spunky heroine, calls him out for his clichéd approach. “These 100-year-old dialogues don’t work anymore,” Mehwish’s character tells Azfar’s.

“You can’t make a film in either India or Pakistan without drawing comparisons to DDLJ. Weddings are weddings. The hero will come to win the girl, and there are going to be problems. It’s the oldest formula in the world. Pakistani films, in particular, will be compared to DDLJ, Hum Aapke Hain Kaun and PNJ. Someone actually asked me this. If you’re matching my film with such big names, then that’s an honour for me. And if I get even 10 percent of what they did at the box-office, I’d be like winning the lottery,” he laughs.

“If you’re matching my film with big names like DDLJ and Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, then that’s an honour for me. And if I get even 10 percent of what they did at the box-office, I’d be like winning the lottery.” — Wajahat Rauf

So, why make something that may draw comparisons — and why in particular, make a film about weddings? “For one, I hadn’t done it before,” says Rauf. “Both Karachi Se Lahore (KSL) and Lahore Se Aagay were 100 percent comedies. I didn’t add any emotion to them, consciously. They were made with the idea of just having songs and comedy, followed by more comedy and songs. No one is crying in the film, nor was anyone trying to get anyone to cry. “When you are adding an age bracket of 30-plus, then you need to add festivities, the songs, the clothes, because that’s the family going-audience,” he continues. “You cannot just have 30-somethings going off on a road trip, that’s for the younger audiences. You need to add in emotions. You have the father-daughter relation in the film, which is for a different, more mature audience. Although the comedy is still silly,” he says. “It’s not crass or adult-oriented comedy. You’ll still feel that it’s a Wajahat Rauf film.”

Rauf had already finished writing the sequel to KSL, when he felt he needed to try something else first. “I felt like I was repeating myself. It was exactly the same film (genre-wise), working on the same narrative tropes. I thought, the public will not spare me if they have to see the same thing again,” he says.

Rauf was shooting Enaaya, his web-series released by Eros Now, when the idea hit him — and it didn’t take him that long to cast the film. The cast — the leads, in particular — are the ones from Enaaya.

They were right there on set, and they were having fun, so why waste an opportunity, Rauf tells me. The film whizzed past shooting to post-production in five months, he tells me. ��That has to be a record,” he says.

You should meet Azfar and Mehwish, Rauf tells me. “They’re a lot of fun.” That’s easier said than done, though Rauf and his wife, Shazia, who is also the producer of the film, do their best to line up the meetings.

Azfar Rehman is busy shooting a television serial. Mehwish Hayat is in London although due back in a day or two. A day later, near Maghreb time, I find myself again waiting for an online ride, this time at Azfar Rehman’s set. Rauf was right about the carefree enthusiasm of his cast. Rehman is as happily aloof as they come. “In a way the lead character — Sameer — is like me,” Rehman says. “He’s a very happy-go-lucky, easy-going guy, who is in love. The zaalim samaaj intervenes by not letting him find the love of his life. So, he goes out of his way and just tries his luck. He’s got a fun-loving, positive outlook.

“He’s no different than any other boy — or any other lover boy — in the country. Or every other boy who is on Tik Tok these days. He’s stereotypical, and a very relatable character,” he continues. But isn’t that a bit too much of a cliché, I ask. “We do clichéd stuff everyday in life. A little bit of cliché is fine,” he replies.

Back in Rauf’s house, we had discussed the need to have one big star in the film. In the film that star is Mehwish Hayat. It’s a fact that Rehman is happy to concede. “I think it is somewhat right to perceive it that way. Mehwish is a huge film star, and of course her character is slightly stronger than my character.”

We seem to be producing many female-centric films of late, I tell him. Would you call it that? “It is a female-centric film, but more than calling it female-centric, I’d call it a family-oriented film. It’s more about family. More about the father-daughter relationship. We’ve highlighted the heroine’s family more than my family. It’s more about Mehwish’s take on her family and her life, so I think we should have female-centric films,” Rehman offers his opinion in a roundabout way.

A few hours before my deadline, Mehwish Hayat, who is finally back in Pakistan, tells me about her character via WhatApp messages. “(Zoya) is a feisty, well-grounded girl who knows what she wants, and is not going to be railroaded into anything she doesn’t agree with. It is rare to have such a heroine-centric film in Pakistan, which is what attracted me to the script.

“I was fortunate to get involved very early on in the process, when Wahajat was still scripting, so I was able to help shape the character from a very early stage,” she writes in response to another question. “The realisation of a character is, of course, the director’s vision, but what I bring to the film is my interpretation of that vision.”

“It is rare to have a heroine-centric film like Chhalawa in Pakistan, which is what attracted me to its script.” — Mehwish Hayat

Does she actively choose roles with substantial depth in characters, or are they simply the ones that are offered to her, I ask. “I’m in the fortunate position to be able to be very picky about my roles. I choose roles that appeal to me and challenge me as an actress. It is fair to say that I turn down a significant number of roles offered to me because they are just more of the same.”

Every one of her recent titles happen to be (or have overtones of) comedy. Is that also deliberate, I ask. “Yes, that is true. Comedy is a great leveler that appeals to everybody, no matter who they are. It is through comedy that we are able to address the absurdities of life and make very strong social messages accessible to the audiences. It is through a comedy such as Load Weddingthat we were able to address the issue of dowry, and now that has been taken up by the Punjab Assembly.”

But is there another reason for it, I wonder. Serious and strongly written female leads, in what are essentially commercial dramedies, have become a norm in Pakistan. Does she think our directors choose to do that deliberately — or to be precise, habitually — because they have been exposed to television and subconsciously cater to TV’s key audiences who are females, I ask.

“This is neither deliberate nor habitual in any way,” she responds. “Our directors are only giving the audiences what they expect from our films. Yes, of course, it goes without saying that most of our film-makers cut their teeth on our television drama industry and some of the story tropes have been carried over. Pakistani cinema is still in its infancy and still trying to find its own distinct identity and, until it does so, parallels with [TV] drama are inevitable.”

Our conversation becomes a bit too serious for a film that is, mostly, family fun and festivities — which was, again, one of the reasons this film is coming out this Eidul Fitr.

Aside from the genre, Rauf hasn’t tasted the box-office of an Eid release, I remember him telling me. His two prior releases came out between two previous Eids, and in November.

Although, superficially, Chhalawa might feel like familiar fodder, Rauf, who has shown growth as a filmmaker, is slowly but steadily expanding his horizons. However, don’t expect him to try every genre in film (he’s a sci-fi buff who admits that he cannot make one; it’s just not him, he says). For now, it’s just slight detour towards maturity — though, in his own words, “only in the latter half of the film.”

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