#i actually made a fanart of the looking-in-the-mirror scene

[goingferalapparently]

Do you want to hear me talk about The Animatic? No? Well that sucks because I'm talking about it anyway.

I don't know what made me suddenly want to make a full length animatic, but the urge descended upon me and I did anyway, despite my horrible horrible track record.

●～●～●～●～●

I'd actually had a couple voice clips cut out since July (because that's when I started Jealousy), but the bulk of it was done 15/16 August. And! This song (Pentatonix's God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen) is actually the second one I tried piecing together.

The first song was AURORA's Runaway! I swapped songs pretty early on because

Runaway was 4 minutes long and God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen was 2.5 minutes long

3 minutes in, I ran out of voice clips.

I used a lot more voice clips for Runaway than God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen, not just because it's longer but also because the song is significantly slower and thus easier to fit voice clips in it. Not just more voice clips, but the voice clips were longer too.

(God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen had 9 source clips. Runaway had 15.)

Hindsight is 20/20 though, because due to the slow-paced nature of Runaway in comparison to God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen would have resulted in far less frames needing to be drawn, or precise cuts or-

Well, you get the point.

●～●～●～●～●

I have two files for this project! Yes, it was pure Medibang. The reason for the two files is that there were so many layers that the first file was lagging to hell and back and I couldn't even draw a straight line because of how bad it was.

●～●～●～●～●

This was the actual first frame I ever drew for this! If it looks familiar, it's because I was mirroring this. It's my first ever fanart for QSMP.

At the time of starting this, I had maybe 3 pieces of QSMP fanart and was super uncertain of what I was doing, so it definitely happened again - mirroring a piece of fanart into an animatic frame.

●～●～●～●～●

This was the first time I ever drew Cucurucho. I had an idea and it was simple to execute but over time I forgot about the voice box.

This, on the other hand, was the last frame I ever drew. The Cucurucho designs are largely the same, with some minor differences (bigger eyes, more stitches, no voice box, thinner tube).

●～●～●～●～●

This was the first time I successfully drew Cellbit. Emphasis on successfully because even this one bit took me forever. I never really had to redraw any frame once I drafted it, but this. This took me 5 redraws. It was my greatest nightmare.

●～●～●～●～●

I've said it before but these two frames side by side?

It was my favourite part of the animatic for the longest time. Hands down, no debate, I adored it.

●～●～●～●～●

You may notice that most frames had the subjects coloured in a lighter colour, but a couple didn't. Some were intentional, to better show off lighting and backgrounds and depth and stuff.

Some.... were not.

(Oops.)

●～●～●～●～●

Some of my other favourite frames include:

Which would have been better if I hadn't messed up the shading.

Because this was so many characters. And Cellbit.

And the Bagheras, which I really had a ton of fun drawing near the end. Because these two were drawn at the end. The same day, actually. The first one did have a draft already, though.

●～●～●～●～●

Some little details:

Between these two frames, BBH and Cellbit pop up in the background. There's a flash of white immediately after, which is supposed to be the camera flash when BBH takes a photo.

••●••

Jaiden (and Roier) in the early scenes have perfectly normal eyes.

This changes immediately after Bobby's death, albeit rather subtly.

By the time the beginning of the Cucurucho tasks rolls around, the shadows under their eyes have had time to develop and become more prominent.

••●••

Roier does a little rooftop espionage.

••●••

Similar/Similarly located scenes have similarly coloured backgrounds!

It's most prominent with Bobby Fields' Rose/Lavender palette, with a few (not all) examples.

(The words associated with this last image are actually from when Jaiden got stuck on a ladder on her way down from the sunset tree while trying to chase Cucurucho. I just found that funny.)

But the colour thing is also key with Baghera and Jaiden's conversation with Pomme's non-canon death.

The colours used for 1) the gradient background 2) the lineart and 3) the subject base colour are identical in both images, even if they're a third of the video apart.

●～●～●～●～●

Anyway, this was made with Medibang and iMovie, even if I do have Krita and DaVinci Resolve and FlipaClip and-

.........Yeah.

Tried and true basics, I guess.

(Krita and DaVinci both cause my laptop to overheat. I struggle with Krita so incredibly badly, even though I have friends who swear by it.)

●～●～●～●～●

Also I maxed out the image count on this post.

[advisinghat56]

okay i spent about 30 hours on this motherfucker i am going to tell you about him now.

This is Christophe.

Everything on him is completely removable (except for his hair/face)(I didn't take off his clothes because then I would have to put them back on).

Any little black button that you see is a completely functional snap. I didn't want to give myself parkinson's doing and undoing tens of tiny buttons, not to mention the fact that i don't even own any buttons small enough for this project.

He’s even got the little details on his face, although they aren’t as noticeable as I thought they were. I made a little dogtag necklace for him to wear, because it's a really strong personal headcannon of mine and you can pry it from my cold dead hands. You can only see it if his shirt is unbuttoned though. He also has a dog toy squeaker. (Yes my dog has already tried to eat him.)

In all, I am very happy with him, even though I need to finish and fix some things, (notably the shirt, with its missing pockets and unfinished edges. (Side note- Christophe’s shirt doesn't actually have any buttons or even an opening along the front, but i decided that it would function better if I added those.)) I'll add the pockets later. I think the fleece is thin enough that I can get away with it.

If you look hard enough, you might be able to tell that one arm is a slightly different shade of tan because I didn't realize that the fleece that I had and the fleece that I bought was TWO SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT COLORS.

I actually had a really hard time with the sash because I couldn't find a good reference. I admit I didn't look very hard (but i DID look at an unhealthy amount of fanart), but I still couldn't find much. The fandom page only had front views, and searching google images didn't help much either. The front was fine, but the back was barely shown. I noted ONE scene (where at the very end) it was on screen for maybe half a second, so I had a vague idea of what it looked like.

I could’ve just left it there. I didn't need to double check. Nobody sees the back anyways. It doesn't matter. There is no point.

But i am nothing if not stubborn.

I don't actually have HBO max. So I went for the second best thing- Ze mole all scenes compilations on youtube. However, the only one I found was from 12 years ago. It's mirrored. The quality is shit. There's a fade transition between every scene. But I got it. I got the back shot I'd wanted. Here it is, in all its pixely glory.

I'd gotten it.

And I had absolutely no clue what I was looking at. (still don't)

But I didn’t want to wait anymore, I was almost done.

So I made a guess.

And all went well.

Until I saw a post.

No. It can't be.

The truth is right in front of me, all i have to do is slow it down.

goddamnit.

[hopechan16]

MY PERSONAL BATMAN UNIVERSE (1)

I've mentioned several times before that I wrote a fanfiction and it was extremely long. Besides, that's a bit the principle of my blog, it's my personal Batman universe, even if sometimes I mention the official comics.

I would like to publish it one day, I would, but as I want it to be well written and well translated, it won't be right away. That said, I wanted to give you a summary, so that you understand a little better what I draw, because ultimately I don't draw a lot of fanart strictly speaking.

Summary Batman: Through the Looking Glass.

Batman is sent into a magic mirror that the gods created thousands of years ago, and which will confront him with a reality that can either save him or lose him forever.

In this mirror his whole world seems reversed. He's not Batman and he never lost his parents.

There he meets Jack Napier, the Joker who never fell into the toxic vat, who became a comedy star and a popular actor, all thanks to a great evening where Bruce Wayne and the little actor were able to link their destiny.

He discovers that he is a wonderful man and the most disturbing thing is that he ends up realizing that he is the person of his dreams, the person he always needed and who Gotham needs. But now, once back in his reality thanks to a relentless and retrospective investigation of his subconscious, in the company of Jack….Batman tries to pretend nothing happened. His reason pushes him to continue his life, and he tries to reassure himself as best he can in his habits, except that he will end up making serious mistakes. In truth he can no longer get Jack out of his head. As much as he wants to forget everything and stay lucid, it doesn't work. Forced by events, he will have to face his worst enemy, whom he no longer sees quite as before. Well, he's going to break down, think he's going crazy, until he realizes that the key to his problems may have been simply in front of his eyes all this time. Did the mirror send him a message? For the first time he really seems to see Joker as a weakness, a human being, more than a creature, at least this is the first time he objectively admits it to himself.

If Batman sees in his reversals a spark in Joker, Joker sees himself very distraught but not for very long, since he sees here the opportunity to dream of destroying his adored Batsy, he bets it with Harley. It will be his most Machiavellian trick, the Bat eats out of his hand and his heart will be broken forever. Above all, Harley sees Joker as blatant denial and bets that Batman will put an end to this doom clown once and for all. The bet is launched.

Well, Batman is not fooled, he suspects the Joker's jokes except that now he is determined to believe in him, or rather to believe in Jack, convinced that it is indeed this man he must save from the clutches of the Joker. But a how?

Sans follows Batman's various maneuvers to free the man in his life from a curse for which he blames himself and a Joker who pursues his evil designs, until memory problems plague our great detective... where Is the Joker card hanging in the batcave? To overcome his sudden memory lapses, Batman searches through his files and comes across old articles of his parents' deaths, but nothing seems the same anymore? A young boy is found in crime scene photos? Who is this boy ? He had never seen it before! Nothing is going right anymore, Batman feels lost, he is starting to believe that he is still in the mirror, or is it this crazy clown who planned everything? Mad with rage, he attacks the Joker, against all the promises he had made about him, right at the moment when the latter was almost convinced to abandon his future crimes. Too disturbed, Batman collapses, a great light invades him.

He's actually in a hospital, Gotham Children's Hospital, and he's the one who's hospitalized.

His parents died recently. Harley, his psychologist, takes care of him; he appears to suffer from serious personality disorders. While his friend Jack tries to keep in touch with him despite this imaginary world that he invented to protect himself from the reality that terrifies him...

After which the story is built in two stages: 1) in Batman's universe, and the other in Bruce's reality.

In total there are 10 major chapters: Which deconstruct all the issues of the Batman universe, with the survival of Gotham at stake in the face of relationships: Batman/Joker, Batman/Bruce, Joker/Jack, Batman/Jack and Bruce/Jack. And of course ! All this against a backdrop of investigations and intrigues of all kinds, that’s Batman! If most of the story is centered on Batman and Joker/Jack, the fact remains that I take care of all the most cult characters: Cat, Ivy, the batfamily, The Mad Hatter, Justice League, Two-Face, Maroni, Falcone, the Penguin, Killer Croc, in addition to the characters I invented for the story.

[july13th2004]

Holding Them Close

Characters/Relationships: Kratos Aurion, Anna Irving, Kratos/Anna, Kranna, Lloyd Irving, Noishe 

Genre: Fluff/Family/Romance 

Rating: T

Warnings: None 

Word Count: 2658

Mirror Link: AO3 | Pixiv 

Summary: A few weeks after Lloyd is born, Kratos has taken charge of handling most of the household chores, including those involving cooking and preparing food for himself and Anna. One late afternoon in early autumn, after Kratos has prepared dinner while closely following one of Anna's recipes, he witnesses a special and adorable moment between his wife and son. This moment eventually leads to the new parents both sharing a special and cherished moment with their newborn son, and each other.

Author's Note: Yes, I'm posting another fic today! I've been working on this one over the last couple of weeks and I think it's finally ready for you all to read! This one was inspired by not one, but two pieces of fanart. One scene makes reference to this art, while the main scene is inspired by this art by @majigomen-beam that was posted a few weeks ago. I really love the latter piece and just had to write a fic for it.

Anna yawned as she slowly opened her eyes and groggily looked around the empty living room. She wasn't sure how long she had been asleep, only that her tiredness still lingered. That tired feeling began to subside, though, after she gazed down at her three week old son, all bundled up in a stark white colored blanket, in her arms. Smiling to herself, she began to rock him back and forth, her gaze focused only on him as she leaned back into her chair. He was sound asleep, and she was grateful that in the three weeks since he'd been born, he could still sleep peacefully through almost anything, including through the night. She was certain that wouldn't last much longer, though.

Meanwhile, Kratos was in the kitchen, staring at his wife's handwritten recipe for the beef stew that was currently simmering in a large pot on the stove next to him. His lips were pursed in a thin line, and his brows furrowed. The couple had reached an agreement about a month before Lloyd was born that he would be the one taking over almost all of the household chores and duties, and he insisted on being the one to cook all their meals, much to Anna's reluctance. It wasn't that he was a bad cook, far from it actually —it was just that, after a little over four millennia of being alive, and up until he met Anna, he had no need to eat, much less a need to cook anything for himself or anyone else; even on previous world regeneration journeys he supervised. He checked the recipe again one last time before taking out a small spoon from their utensil drawer and dipping it into the pot of stew. He then brought the spoon to his lips, and tasted it with the tip of his tongue.

While frowning to himself, Kratos hastily looked over the recipe again as he placed the half clean spoon back down on the counter. He was sure he had double checked, even triple checked, that he had prepared all of the correct ingredients for this stew. There was something missing, though, and he couldn't figure out what it was. Anna had made this stew numerous times for them during the autumn and winter months, sometimes in early spring as well, and his didn't exactly taste the same as hers, which puzzled him. After letting out a slightly frustrated sigh, he skimmed over the recipe again, and found his answer to what the missing ingredients were at the bottom of the page and double underlined:

'Highly Important! Don't Forget! Stir in 1 tsp of paprika and a pinch of cinnamon while it simmers!'

Kratos let out an exasperated sigh as he took out the measuring spoons from another drawer, and the two small spice jars from off the rack on the counter. How could he possibly skip over that part of the recipe? After letting out another sigh, he measured the paprika with the correct measuring spoon, then sprinkled the spice all over the simmering stew. He did the same with the cinnamon, except this time without one of the measuring spoons, and sprinkled a generous pinch of that spice all over the stew. Then he stirred the pot again with a ladle to incorporate the added spices. Finally, he took his taste test spoon from off the counter, and dipped it back into the stew. He nodded to himself in satisfaction after tasting the stew again. Those missing spices were just what the dish needed.

After stirring the pot with the ladle again for a couple more minutes, he let the stew continue to simmer for a few more minutes before turning off the stove. He then made his way out of the kitchen and into the living room to inform his wife that dinner was ready. What he saw when he stepped into the living room, though, made his heart skip in both adoration and delight, and he couldn't help but gently smile at the wonderful sight before him. Anna was holding Lloyd in her arms, softly rocking him back and forth and humming a song to him. It was a song that she first sang to him a couple years before when their relationship was beginning to blossom into something more than just friendship. She had told him at the time that it was a song that her mother used to sing to her, and that the song reminded her of how kind her parents were.

His smile grew as he recalled mentioning how much he liked the song, but then his smile faded a little when he recalled his offer to her to visit her hometown of Luin. He crossed his arms and frowned to himself as he averted his gaze from his wife and son. While he stared down at the living room floor, he thought about how that was the one promise he wouldn't be able to fulfill for her.

"Kratos? Are you all right?" Anna softly called out to him.

It took him a moment to realize she had stopped humming and was calling out to him. He shifted his gaze from the floor to her and gave her a soft smile, silently grateful that she had pulled him out of his somewhat somber ruminations.

"Ah, yes, my dear." Kratos replied as he slowly walked towards her, "I just wanted to let you know that dinner is ready."

She glanced up at him and gave him a soft smile, "Oh, good! I'm starting to feel hungry. I take it that the stew was easy for you to make?"

His visage turned a faint shade of pink as he recalled almost forgetting to add the important spices to the stew. He averted his gaze from her and let out a sigh. "I almost forgot to add the spices at the end while it was simmering."

Anna giggled before giving him a knowing smile, "Well, at least you remembered before letting me know it was ready. I'm sure it's going to taste good. You also taste tested it, I'm guessing, right?"

"A couple times, my dear. Though I'm certain it's not going to taste as good as when you've made it in the past."

While holding Lloyd with her left arm, she reached up and gently grasped his left wrist with her right hand and gently tugged, "I'll be the judge of that, so don't fret about it, honey. I know it's going to taste good."

She gave him a reassuring smile before looking at him expectantly after letting go of his wrist. He gave her a gentle smile in return and leaned down and cupped her cheek. His lips softly met her forehead while his thumb gently caressed her cheek. When the couple parted moments later, she stood up and leaned into him, Lloyd still cradled in her arms. With his left hand, he half wrapped his arm around her upper back and gently held her while his right hand helped cradle their blanket bundled son in her arms.

His lips kissed her temple as she turned her head and leaned into his touch. The two closed their eyes and their lips both curled into soft smiles. Then they just stood there and basked in the blissful and comforting family moment. For the moment, Kratos felt completely at ease just holding his wife and infant son in his arms. He hoped he would experience and cherish many more moments like this in the future, with his family safe and close in his embrace. When the two parted again a short while later, Anna transferred Lloyd over to her husband. She then looked up at him and gave him another soft smile.

"Thank you for making dinner tonight, honey. And thank you for taking care of almost everything around the house, too, these last few weeks." Anna stated gratefully, "I just wish I wasn't feeling so exhausted every day to help you out a little."

Kratos gave her a knowing smile, "Don't worry about it. Your main focus should be on resting as much as you can right now, my dear."

__________

While Anna served herself a bowl of the beef stew that he made, Kratos placed Lloyd back into a handmade bassinet next to their couch in the living room. He joined her at their dining table with his own bowl of stew a moment later and watched with anticipation as she took a spoonful of the fragrant stew and placed it into her mouth. Her eyes widened as she slowly and thoughtfully chewed through the mouthful of stew, and Kratos nervously glanced at her, waiting for her to give him her verdict on whether it was good or bad.

"Wow!" She exclaimed after finishing the bite of stew, "I think this stew tastes even better than when I've made it! The beef chunks just melt in your mouth. The vegetables do too. So soft and tender! And the spices! Did you add more than a pinch of cinnamon? Because if you did, then wow, does that taste good! I might have to edit my recipe a little for the next time I make this."

Kratos gave her a bewildered look at her reaction. He wasn't expecting to receive such high praise over a simple meal that she'd made numerous times before.

"I'm certain I only added a standard pinch." Her husband responded, a faint shade of pink forming on his cheeks, "And thank you, my dear. I'm pleased you think so highly of my cooking."

"Well, you must have added a generous pinch then, because whenever I make this stew, the flavor of the cinnamon isn't as strong. And I'm serious, Kratos. This is so good! I might have you make this more often, especially once Lloyd is old enough to eat it."

She gave him a reassuring smile before going back to eating her bowl of stew, savoring every bite until the bowl was almost completely clean. He returned her smile, then went back to slowly finishing his own bowl of stew. Once the two were finished, Kratos took their bowls and spoons and began washing them in the kitchen sink, while Anna poured the rest of the stew into a large glass container and placed it inside of their icebox.

"I was going to ask you this at dinner, my dear, but what's the highly important reason for the addition of the spices in your stew recipe?" Kratos inquired after drying off the pot, their bowls, and their spoons and placing them back into their respective drawers and cabinets.

"The paprika adds a bit of smoky flavor, while the cinnamon adds a bit of a spicy and sweet flavor." Anna replied while she reorganized her handwritten recipe cards, "After a lot of trial and error while making this stew, I discovered that these two spices paired really well together, and the stew would simply taste bland without them."

"I see…" He nodded in agreement with her answer, softly smiling at her, "And I suppose now you want me to learn more of your recipes since I'm going to be the one cooking our meals for the foreseeable future…"

"Oh yes!" She spoke excitedly, "In fact, this upcoming weekend, I want you to try making my recipe for tater tot hotdish! I'm going to head out to the market in town tomorrow to buy the ingredients for it!"

Kratos sighed, "I'll try my best then, my dear."

Anna kissed his cheek, "Oh I know you're going to do more than your best! I'll be looking forward to it…"

__________

The couple retired to the living room for the evening after their conversation in the kitchen. They each made sure Lloyd's needs were taken care of, and once that was done, Kratos lit a small fire inside their fireplace before settling down on the couch with his wife and son. He wrapped his arm around her as she curled up against him, laying her head on his shoulder. Kratos quietly began to read from a short fantasy novel he and Anna had read a couple times before. Anna tried her best to listen to him read to both her and Lloyd, but her husband's deep and gentle voice was starting to lull her to sleep. She let out a soft yawn about half an hour after he started reading.

"I think you should go to bed now, my dear." Kratos stated as he bookmarked where he left off in the book, then quietly closed the book and placed it back on the side table next to him.

"But I took a nap earlier." Anna sleepily protested.

He leaned in and kissed the top of her head. "Yes, but as I told you earlier, you need to focus on getting all the rest that you can. You still need more time to recover, my dear."

"Fine." She conceded before letting out another yawn and bringing her head up off of his shoulder, "Then you'll kiss me goodnight now, right?"

"Of course, my dear." He answered as she turned her head to look at him and gave her a soft smile.

Kratos then chastely kissed his wife goodnight. When they parted, Anna handed Lloyd over to her husband before sleepily kissing him on the cheek. Once Anna left the living room to get ready for bed a short time later, and after he reassured her that he would join her within the hour, Kratos turned his attention back to their infant son he now held in his arms. In all the years of his unnaturally long life, he never imagined he would call himself a father at any point during that time. He never imagined during all that time that he would find and marry the love of his life, his soulmate, his one and only—his always and forever, either. And as he looked down at Lloyd, their son, in his arms, his chest swelled with a mixture of pride and elation.

He would do his absolute best to make sure Lloyd wouldn't grow up to make the same mistakes he had, and he would do anything to try and be the best father he could be.

__________

After letting Noishe back inside the cabin and making sure the loyal protozoan's needs were met, Kratos took Lloyd out of the bassinet and carried him to the bedroom. Anna appeared to be sound asleep as he stepped inside the room. He fondly smiled down at his sleeping son one last time before planting a soft kiss on his forehead and placing him down into their other handmade bassinet. Once Kratos hurriedly got ready for bed, he quietly crawled into bed beside his wife and pulled the covers up over them. His arm wrapped gently around her waist and his lips softly kissed her cheek.

"Finally…" Anna whispered before sighing in relief.

"You haven't been awake this whole time, have you, my dear?" Kratos asked as he buried his face into the nape of her neck.

"I dozed off a little…" She murmured, her hand covering his, "But you know that sometimes I can't sleep without you next to me."

His lips peppered soft kisses up the column of her neck. "Then let's go to sleep now, my dear." He breathed as he planted a kiss on her cheek.

Anna giggled while his lips continued to softly kiss her cheek, "All right, Kratos. I love you. Good night."

She let out a contented sigh and closed her eyes. His gentle and now languid kisses lulled her to sleep, and within minutes, she was sound asleep and softly breathing. Kratos pulled away and laid his head down on the pillow and buried his face into her hair. He closed his eyes and soon after drifted off to sleep with her, where he dreamt of holding his family close.

[bi-bats]

Hey bitch, it's @chipmunkery <3

13, 32, 40 (no reason in particular 👀), 63, 64 for the ask meme

HEY BESTIEEEEE!! Thank you for sending me an ask even though I'm sure you know the answer to like. half of these questions lmaooooo 💖💖💖💖

13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

ooh I actually have to think about this one for a second, hang on

maybe using sensory details and actions to break up dialogue? Sometimes if I think there needs to be a moment between two lines of dialogue but I'm not actually giving the reader a chance to pause by using an emdash or an ellipses, I'll throw something in there to break it up. I have some examples from the damitim fic:

“You’re not talking?”  “No.” “Is that your call?”  Damian puts the teapot on the stove with slightly more force than required, flicking on the burner in the same fashion. “No,” he says flatly. 

okay yeah so in this bit I put that action with the teapot in there as a substitute for a line about Damian pausing, because "he paused" looked boring and felt wrong, so I gave him something to do in that time. This also uses the other bit of advice I posted about the other day about avoiding just saying how a character feels. The action I gave him tells you how he's feeling about it: he's frustrated. But also, he says no flatly, because he doesn't want his words to show that he cares.

Sometimes instead of an action I'll throw in a train of thought because like. If the character has time to notice a smell or to feel something, it creates the breathing room I need to emphasize the dialogue. like here:

“No, I fucking don’t! Damian,” Tim scoffs, as if he’s explaining this to a child, “I’ve been living with Ra’s Al Ghul for the last six years, do you honestly think that Bruce is going to trust me after that?”  And Damian hadn’t thought of that. Hadn’t thought of not trusting Tim, or forgiving him, for even a second.  He is not a fool. He does not think that Tim has spent six years lounging around like a prince in a castle, living in luxury.  That Tim spent six years there and kept his hands clean.  He pretends he does not feel like he’s begging.  “That does not mean you have to leave.”

the time it takes to get from the sentence to the response creates the feeling of the pause even though it's not written anywhere that there is a pause. It just feels like there was a pause while he processed that, and the dialogue is emphasized because of that. Honestly, this is probably the most common thing I do in editing. This actually might not be a common writing tip but I find it works for me and I already wrote all this out and I couldn't think of any common writing tips lol

32. Name three of your favorite fanfic writers.

@kieran-granola, @yasmindifference, and @jpeg-dot-jpeg fr this was so easy to answer, everything they write is fucking amazing go read their stuff rn if you haven't already

also honorary mention to you because your stuff is also fucking amazing and I'm EATING IT UP I'VE BROUGHT UP THE JAYBART FIC IN LIKE 4 POSTS AND I'M GONNA DO IT AGAIN RIGHT NOW ADJFAGNAJGLKJF THAT FIC HAS A HOLD ON ME

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

NO PARTICULAR REASON?? NO PARTICULAR REASON, LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN TELLING YOU HOW HARD I WOULD LOSE MY SHIT IF YOU MADE ART TO GO WITH ONE OF MY PIECES???? YOU THINK I LOSE MY SHIT ABOUT YOUR ART NOW??????? JUST WAIT OKAY JUST WAIT!!!!

Alright well first off anything from this list, but also specifically anything where any of them are covered in blood. The way you draw blood is gorgeous and I'd lose my MIND to see one of my ideas with it 😭 I actually once said to you (half-joking) that I added so much blood to the DamiTim fic because I was trying to lure you into drawing it 😂

So, for you specifically:

that one scene in I Know What My Brother Is where DamiTim (TimDami? I don't really like the order of the ship name mirroring top/bottom dynamics but whatever) are on the bed and Damian's resolve is about to break again

jaytimkon cuddling from the first chapter of Bad Days

that scene in scars & stitches where Tim is leaning Jason back so he can stitch him up and Jason leans back way farther than he needs to

oh my god something from You Hear His Voice Once and You Know It Again like. I'd lose my MIND if you drew lazzied Tim akdjfajkf OOOH YEAH MAYBE THE SCENE WHERE TIM IS HOLDING JASON'S JAW AND JASON IS HOLDING TIM'S WRIST AND IT'S RIGHT WHEN THEY BOTH GO GENTLE FOR A MINUTE

I just really love the way you draw intimacy 😭😭😭 all of these moments are SO intimate you know? Also no pressure to draw any of these, and also anyone is welcome to draw any of these too!! It's just easier for me to pick out specific ones for someone whose style I'm familiar with (and also the ones I'm like. I know for sure I would lose my shit if you drew these lmaooo)

63. Something you hate to see in smut.

I hate the word lover okay I just don't like it I hate it SO much adkjfjafurghgurhgaurhgauhra it upsets me okay it's a me problem whatever

I also don't love the whole 'the older one' 'the younger one' etc. thing, but that's more of a general writing pet peeve than in smut specifically. (It doesn't bother me if it's intentional and like. a kink that someone is leaning into? But it does bother me when it's clear that someone just didn't want to use names again)

64. Something you love to see in smut.

emotional intimacy of any kind. even if it's two characters who are hatefucking instead of being deeply in love. I just. I need them to have feelings about each other it's SO much better that way

also praise kink lol "good boy" are you kidding

[csleko]

Holy crap, it's The Rake! Or is it? If your first thought on seeing this render was "that's The Rake!" then it's The Rake. If you thought anything else, then it's just another one of my freaky monsters that happens to be heavily *inspired* by The Rake and that one infamous photo in particular.

Yeah, I got in my "make a horrifying monster" mood again, and I've had that good old classic YouTube horror stuff on the brain since Film Theory talked about Vita Carnis, which gave me hope that we might finally be moving past disturbing kids' shows and haunted video games, and onward into terrifying original concepts with equally terrifying imagery to go with them.

Marble Hornets and especially EverymanHYBRID definitely made strong impressions on me. Slender Man was this weird, unsettling, ambiguous entity, but The Rake? Still weird, still unsettling, but unambiguously and VIOLENTLY malevolent, and apparently intelligent enough to lure victims into traps. And don't get me started on the SOUNDS that damn thing made. It has been a LONG time since anything caused me to lose sleep like that.

Deviating from my usual workflow, the first thing I made for this model was the texture. I started out with the same basic setup for the human skin texture I used on that other monster I made a while ago, but I made it more of a nasty gray, and cranked up the bump map so it would look rougher and almost scaly. Then I experimented with some ways to make faint veins that I kept playing with and adjusting pretty much throughout the whole process.

Made basically the whole body with meta balls. Well, I made half the body, then mirrored it. Then I did some sculpting to add detail and made adjustments to the general shape.

And this is where I leaned more toward "just make The Rake," and looked up that original picture to get an idea of what its actual face looked like. Kinda like a human skull, but with eye shine that's definitely not from human eyes. A lot of the fanart I've seen of this creature interpret that eye shine as glowing eyes, but that's just how most eyes look in night vision. Even human eyes do that, but it's just the pupils, and they're wider because it's dark. So I figure in order to have eye shine that pronounced, this creature's gotta have *massive* pupils. So I made the eye sockets enormous, popped a couple of big, dark glass orbs in 'em, and because I couldn't think of a way to do realistic eye shine through Blender's light simulation, I just made two little circles with a glowing shader on them and put them inside the eye balls. So, yes, this one's eyes do *technically* glow.

But I can turn that off when I don't need eye shine.

All that was left was to rig the thing, set up a scene, pose it, light it all spooky-like, render it and throw it into Photoshop to produce the image at the start of this post.

Enjoy, and I'm sorry if I sparked or re-sparked anyone's interest in analog/YouTube horror.

Except I'm not sorry at all. Give the creators your watch time so they can grow and inspire more creators to create more original horror stories, which then themselves grow to inspire even more creators!

[static-sulker]

Gill is kinda hard to put down because they himself probably hadn’t thought about it at all because when would they? He’s been working his entire life afterall. In my own canon, or my actual campaign, I use Triton or just in general fishfolk like certain fungi. All are very fluid (hehe fluid) and down conform into many usual roles. Gillion would most likely be Agender or pangender due to the fact he himself doesn’t really conform or prefer any gender, and probably He/They and maybe neopronouns? I can’t think of any rn. We love the canon asexuality my brother in Moon Goddess. I see him omnisexual (leans masc). We have seen Gil have semi romantic situations with a lot of masc characters in the story or just bonding quickly with people like Caspian, Marshal John, and even Chip (COUGH COUGH EP 21) much more then others throughout the story. may be questioning if he’s poly but that religious trauma is strong ✨

Jay Jay Jay. The girl boss of the group. Or would I say GENDERFLUID BOSS. Using the hall of mirrors with the pixie cut, it’s giving still fem but waiting in the shadows is that masc enby energy. Most likely stays more fem or non-binary usually.She/They/He pronouns and would 100 would fight somebody if they were transphobic/homophobic. And again we love that one tweet Condi sent out that I can’t fuckin find that talked about something with Jay and bisexuality. And we all know Pistolwhip so yeah Bisexual leaning fem. I would see her as a transwoman, but the mirror scene wouldn’t make sense. I get that people can realize at a young age, but from what her backstory and father act like, it’s not as likely. Would 100% make an au tho because I love them so much. But if I would make it the most canon like without fan-fiction, she would be afab. OR the mirrors are what she saw in herself? It’s up to the imagination because these are head-canons afterall. Jay is also a great genderfluid name because it doesn’t have to be just feminine or just masculine. Jay defiantly was in the closet for a hot minute- no, couple years with her father, and hadn’t really came out but didn’t hide it. When they saw Their father in the prison she didn’t give two shits on what his father thought. And for that I congratulate her

CHIP! THE MIRRORS ACTUALLY KINDA VALIDATE THIS SO WOOO! Chip is transmasc. 100 million percent not be projecting onto him so let me tell you why. In the mirror, and fanart made by the lovely @Vehicular manslaughter which I am making canon now cause I make the rules(/j) his hair is EXTREMELY LONG, like down to his stomach. In the future, he cuts his hair and shows a lot more joy with it. He’s happier looking masculine. Also I’ve read too much fan-fiction with this being canon so it’s implanted into my brain. Chip also has gone through a bi panic. I’m not saying it’s Gill, but I’m not NOT saying it’s Gill. Just across the ship he sees a certain Triton fighting a foe, shirt ripped open, sweat down his body, a tense determined expression, leaning down in a “superhero pose” electricity flashing in his eyes as he slashed again into the enemy. That causes some strange butterflies in his stomach one might say. Chip does love somebody who literally could squish him. Jay most likely gives him a exhausted explanation while Chip is shaking her while she sleeps that bisexuality exists and he’s been low key cruising on that fact. He/they, or just Chip because he chose that name and he likes hearing it.

In this essay I will…

[tunapesto]

what are your favorite things about your favorite ships? or why you began shipping them?

I will be using this to talk about my big 3 (kriselle krusie krisei ) 🔥🔥

first is definitely kriselle since I started seeing it before I actually knew anything about deltarune and I just looked at them and went hmmm.... this fucks!!! their aesthetics and history together is very wonderful. snowgrave is also very good but I have not gotten the chance to play it yet .. fanart definitely made me fall for them so my fave artists for them are pillowbug99 & gooselycharm ^_^

krusie ... 1) their ship name is just very cute lol 2) I LOVE WHEN. THERE IS BIG AND THERE IS SMALL... susie carries kris around like a dog on her shoulders or something LMFAO their banter and in general friendship is very sweet. kris very obviously enjoying to be friends w susie and breaking thru the player's controls just to show that... they're very genuine and it's just a ship that. doesn't need much change you know? thats probably why i dont think about it too much bc there's nothing for me to ponder haha but it's in a way that they simply just Work. they're best friends and they're wonderful

krisei. Acid Tunnel Of Love. need I say more. yes I will continue talking . I love that whole scene and music so much, it's just very.. how do you say this. it's cute, it's bittersweet, it's vague, it's like the unknown, it's like riding through an actual tunnel w a fancy boat in carnivals, and something something.. it's just Perfect for them. the narratives surrounding them make me go FERAL I think. the direct parallels and being a mirror to each other and them using that to reflect and grow as their own people... I've already talked about it in my headband theory ralsei thing but ahh... they're a ship thats just... destined to end. and that in itself is good. they grow up and they no longer need each other like they used to and they part ways but that's fine. not in a way that they start hating each other, they would still be friends if ralsei still existed after deltarune ended, they simply grow out of each other, like a childhood toy you no longer love like you used to but fondly look back on old memories, it ends- like a carnival boat ride of sweet memories and fuzzy feelings finally reaching the end of its round and hopping out. they are literal soulmates in a very literal sense they actually have a string of fate binding them together holy shit

I think they'd have these very confused feelings about each other, and they're so dorky and adorable, It's their first genuine attempt at trying to be romantic and awudhdhjddjfb. that's so fricking cute man. I love a lot of things about krisei but those are the main two. this is like, the last ship i started liking and when I was playing deltarune I was like lol I probably won't like them.... and now they have me in a fucking chokehold.. insanity. anyway I hope this little tangent made everyone who reads it a bit sick ^^<3 bc I am incredibly ill for all of them

[blackknightgargiemoviephile]

How To Train Your Dragon Saga

In the beginning, I was never really interested in watching the movie and never even bothered to watch the trailer, since we thought it was one of those cliche failure movies (and Dreamworks hasn't really had a very good track record of good animated movies at the time), but after being bombarded with tons of Toothcup fanfics and fanarts and after very high recommendations by my friend Jello13 from dA, I finally got down to watching the movie. Boy, was I glad I took my friend's recommendation to watch this movie, and the subsequent sequels after that, because after 3, 4 friggin' times, I still fucking LOVE this movie!!!

Here's my findings of the saga:

Apparently this movie was based on a children's novel written by Cressida Cowell which focuses on the 2nd book in a 10-volume book franchise. There are certain deviations between the real Hiccup and Toothless and the storyline as a whole, but after reading the summary of the original story, I think I like the movie version better. In fact even the writer said so in her blog that she likes the deviation as the movie captured the core essence of her story and it was amazing to see her story to be interpreted this way.

The storyline and the pacing is very good, and the sarcastic humour and slight optimism of Hiccup despite people thinking he's anything BUT a Viking is very intriguing. I love his catchphrases like "I'm way too muscular for their tastes. They wouldn't know what to do with all...this" and "Thank you for summing that up" and his famous line "You just gestured to ALL of me!" is just some of the LOL-worthy lines the talented Jay Baruchel who voices Hiccup does.

I was totally shocked to find out that Gerard Butler plays the role of Stoick, Hiccup's old man! I have never expect him, who is known for his brawniness and action-packed persona, made famous in the movie 300, would actually play a voice-over for a cartoon character. After finding out, spotting his voice and hearing the familiarity was much, much easier.

And of course, the creme de la creme of the entire movie: TOOTHLESS!! He is just so, so, so, soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo uber cuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuute~~~~!!!!! When I read about him in fanfics and caught glimpses of him through fanarts, I was thinking, "Hey, this dragon is quite cute." Now amplify that feeling by a gajillion times more. That's how I feel about Toothless. He started off a little vicious with his snake-like slit for eyes, trying to act strong and tough like the dragon he was, but the moment he let his guard down a little, he got these pair of big doe eyes that is just so MOE and SQUEE-worthy. And of course I finally learn how he got his namesake: with retractable teeth that he can materialize at will

My most favourite scene of the entire movie would be this scene where Toothless finally was at peace with Hiccup and allowed him to touch him. The way Toothless tried to copy his drawing, and then growled whenever Hiccup stepped on his drawing, then Hiccup moved to avoid the lines in tune with the music until finally they were so close they were allowed to touch was just so AWW-worthy. And the music score was perfect too, especially the title of that score: Forbidden Friendship. Isn't that just sweet?

The part where Hiccup and Toothless slowly develop that bond while trying to get Toothless back on his flight feet again was also very interesting as they slowly worked together and forget each other's differences to reach a common goal, while at the same time trying to learn about each other, and Hiccup using that knowledge to good use (the eel and the scratching of the neck part was really epic), making him the life of the team, much to his crush, Astrid's chagrin.

I also love the part where Hiccup tries to convince everyone during the final exam of killing a dragon that dragons are not what they think they are, and tried to pacify the Monstrous Nightmare only to be interrupted by Stoick and having Toothless coming to the rescue (damsel in distress much, Hiccup? XD) and revealed their relationship. It felt really sad and my heart just broke when Hiccup shouted Toothless for him not to kill Stoick and Toothless looked at him with his doe eyes, then Hiccup tries in vain to stop everyone from hurting Toothless, and that argument which led to his disowning, and earning back his role as a son by proving his worth and Toothless' reputation, though a cost of his leg. I was wondering where would be the scene where he looses his leg, since I read that he had a prosthetic in fanfics, but turns out it happened in the near end of the movie, and literally mirrored Toothless' missing left tail fin.

Ending is a bit cliche where he gets the girl, he is lauded as a war hero and gained the respect of everyone including his father, the dragons made peace with humans and all that, but still it was a very heartwarming cliche scene. One that leaves a smile on your face and a sigh of contentment in your heart.

Speaking of Astrid, not really sure it's because of that yaoi in me, but I never really saw Astrid as a suitable pairing for Hiccup. I know, I'm not usually one for bestiality, but seriously, can't you just FEEL the love between Hiccup and Toothless to the point where you can consider them as lovers? Toothcup (Toothless/Hiccup) pairings are in the rage right now since the movie has been uber popularize, and you cannot deny that sort of relationship exist, right?

This one, personally I feel, is almost as par as the first one. Not better, not worse, but more or less par. Hiccup and Astrid are still together, but the Toothcup shipper in me just don't feel like they match somehow. Moreso, suddenly out of the blue, Snotlout and Fishlegs were heads over heels with Ruffnut, which I ABSOLUTELY have NO CHEMISTRY feel whatsoever! Even after I've watched their TV series that led to the second movie, I STILL don't get the vibe or the chemistry between those three people. It's like "Wait, what?" moment.

Although that moment when Ruffnut was just totally thirsty for Eret was absolutely hilarious though. I couldn't help laughing and cringing at the same time.

When the moment Hiccup's mom Valka showed up, I was not expecting her to be so... skinny. Stoick said that he made helmets out of Hiccup's mom's breast plate, and it seemed pretty big, but looking at her, she didn't look like someone who was close to being a big bosom woman, but what is continuity anyways? LOL Though Hiccup definitely has inherited her knack for dragons. Guess it's in the blood after all.

I teared up a little when Stoick died, and I felt so bad that their bromance was threatened by this, but thankfully Hiccup still loves Toothless and is willing to forgive him and try to bring him back to his side. Goes to show how deep their bond is, and Toothless ended up becoming the Alpha Dragon was one of the most epic moments in the whole movie.

It also kinda interesting that Hiccup has somehow became pretty hot in this movie. Was pretty surprised at how he transformed from the awkward tiny little runt of a boy to a strapping man LOL

Plot feels similar to the 2nd one, but the ending was so so SO bittersweet. A fitting ending, but sweet yet painful for me to watch.

My heart broke at the scene wen Hiccup was complaining about Toothless being in love n said "Am I not enough?" and I was like internally screaming "YES! U ARE ENOUGH!! U TWO ARE ENOUGH!! FUCK THAT LIGHT FURY!!"

Throughout the courtship scene btwn Toothless and the Light Fury i was like internally screaming "NO, SHE'S A TRAP! SHE'S A FUCKING TRAP! HICCUP, WHY ARE YOU OKAY WITH THIS?! I'M NOT HAPPY WITH THIS! I AM NOT OKAY WITH THIS!!"

I cried like a fucking baby, especially at the end of the movie. It was like I knew it was happening, that they were gonna break up, but I was in denial, then when Toothless hugged Hiccup goodbye, I lost it, waterworks all over. In fact, waterworks all the way to the end at their final reunion ugly-cried like a fucking baby.

It did ended perfectly; perfectly bittersweet and perfectly heartbreaking and I was like "This is it. It's official. It's over. My Toothcup ship has fucking sank!!"

Fuck you, DreamWorks, you have killed my bromance!! Gahh!! I hate and love this movie at the same time!

Overall rating:

HTTYD: 9/10

HTTYD2: 7.5/10

HTTYD: 9/10

[alixofagnia]

OpheThorn III: Back to Rambling

The Memory of Babel…Wow.

If nothing else, this book GOES. We’re dropped onto Babel just as lost, bewildered, and determined as Ophelia to get to the bottom of this ark. Boy, was it worth the wait! Babel is exquisitely written and, incredible as it sounds, even more treacherous than the Pole. The backbone Ophelia shows in this book is awesome! I love that she’s taken the measure of her worth—all the things she’s been through and survived in the previous novels—and come out resilient As Fuck. This book is definitely a penultimate novel. Dazzling as it is, much of it feels like groundwork being laid for the finale.

OpheThorn is less nuanced and ambiguous in Babel. While I feel there’s less to analyze, I do really love this pairing and I like writing about their dynamic. So, I’m just going to put my thoughts down and see what comes up!

[There will be spoilers]

[All fanart images credited to @patricialyfoung​]

Intro

One of the things that drew me into The Mirror Visitor series is the relationship between Ophelia and Thorn. Theirs is not a traditional love story at all; in fact, it avoids clichés and instead plays about with two romantic tropes: enemies to lovers and marriage of convenience. The series spins these tropes anew by offering subtle signs of attraction (discussed here) and giving both characters antisocial tendencies, as well as—in Thorn’s case—possible ASD traits (discussed here).

When we left these two in Clairdelune, Thorn had just put his feelings on the table. Before she could give her response, however, they were separated under upsetting, even traumatic circumstances. Years later, we meet Ophelia again…

Ophelia

…and, oh dear, she is in a sorry state indeed. We find her disastrously operating a waffle stand during a kooky Animist festival for, of all things, clocks. Just what the girl pining for Thorn needs, right? All is not well with Ophelia. As Aunt Rosaline points out,

“No, you’re not fine. You don’t go out anymore, you eat any old thing, you sleep at any old time. You haven’t even been back to the museum.” [19]

Although her mother, sister, and to an extent Aunt Rosaline all believe Ophelia is wasting away, shutting herself in her room, she’s actually been quite busy. She’s been studying and developing working hypotheses about God and the Other: where they are, there she’ll find Thorn. She’s convinced of it. Working from obscure clues dropped in Clairdelune, Ophelia settles on Babel as the ark most likely to yield some answers, and when the chance to travel there appears, she wastes no time at all.

She. Is. Going.

Thorn

In Babel, Thorn has made a name for himself as Sir Henry, rising to become a Lord of LUX, the gatekeepers of Babel who serve a similar function to that of the Doyennes on Anima. He is commanding, magnetic, and aloof as ever. It is unsurprising to find that he has been playing close to the fire again. But the stress and tension of his investigative life on Babel is certainly heightened in a way that it wasn’t at the Pole. 

We also learn that his nickname in Babel is the Automaton due to his unceasing energy. Thorn, thus, has dealt with the separation by predictably burying himself in work.

The Reunion

To Ophelia’s disappointment, the reunion with Thorn does not go quite as she had envisioned, and that’s because she hadn’t really envisioned past the goal of finding him [203]. Ophelia is very much a character who takes things one at a time as she’s confronted by them. When Thorn seems less than pleased to see her, she must consider all these Troublesome Feelings and why his underwhelming reaction upsets her.

The thing is Ophelia is waiting for Thorn to take the lead. But he already did, and she didn’t follow—at least, not in a way that he could understand. As previously discussed, Thorn does not function well with non-verbal cues. He needs to be explicitly told how someone else feels, or how he is making someone else feel, in order to know when to adjust his behavior. That can be quite flustering, especially for someone like Ophelia who struggles to vocalize her feelings exactly as they are.

“Is that it?” Ophelia murmured. “You have nothing more to say to me?”

 “I have, actually,” Thorn muttered, not stopping all his connecting. […] “And you?” he finally asked, in turn. “You have nothing more to say to me?” [263]

She doesn’t. Thorn coldly dismisses her and continues to keep her at arm’s length, especially when he gives her a second chance to confess her feelings and she still refuses to take it. 

Ophelia has social anxiety. She’s not exactly shy, she just gets tongue-tied and befuddled sometimes. It’s part of her make-up, but it doesn’t just happen around Thorn—there are plenty of instances where she has trouble expressing herself to those she cares about, such as Ambrose and Blaise in this novel, or Fox in Clairdelune. She even struggles to express basic gratitude toward Aunt Rosaline in Promise. Unlike them, Thorn challenges her to uncomfortable levels. Her feelings for him are complex and utterly foreign; she has no idea what to do about them. 

Unfortunately, Thorn is fresh out of fucks to give over her see-saw act. He’s well-past this stage of confusion and cowardice she’s experiencing because he’s been in love with Ophelia since Promise (“I’m starting to get used to you”) and dealt with the ramifications of that in Clairdelune (“I don’t give a damn whether people find me suspect, as long as I am not so in your eyes.”). 

Thorn does nothing half-heartedly. In no uncertain terms, he left her with the bluntest of blunt confessions (“By the way, I love you.”), which was a milestone in his emotional growth. It is clear that he does not love frivolously or casually in the way of his foil, Archibald, so for him, nothing has changed in three years. Likely, he thinks this should be obvious to Ophelia, and it probably should be at this point. He’s done all he can, after all, what more can she want? From his perspective, it’s Ophelia’s turn to make a move, not his.

Ophelia, though, functions differently. She has always needed verbal reinforcement and reassurance. That need has been heightened by their long separation. Essentially, they’re out of touch with one another and, in Ophelia’s case, she’s completely out of touch with herself, which is why when prompted by Thorn she doesn’t provide an answer, even though there could be only one reason for her going to Babel. Things finally come to a head when Thorn loses all patience and replaces her as his assistant. Ophelia is pissed.

“You weren’t available. Waiting for you would have slowed me down in my research.”

“Slowed you down? For your information, I was also doing research of my own. It might interest you to learn…”

“Of your own, that’s precisely the problem,” he interrupted her. “I advised you never to leave your division, and you were supposed to warn me if you discovered anything new. Nothing has changed, you still always make your decisions alone.”

“I wanted to help you,” Ophelia hissed, through gritted teeth.

“I don’t want any of your finer feelings. I need efficiency. If you don’t mind, I now have a flight to take.”

Ophelia’s blood ignited in her every vein. “You’re an egoist.” She had wanted to anger Thorn, and she knew, by the way he had frozen on the spot, that she had succeeded. All the shadows of the night suddenly seemed to  have been drawn to the center of his face. He threw Ophelia a look so hard, she reeled from its impact.

“I am demanding, a killjoy, obsessive, antisocial, and crippled,” he intoned, in a forbidding voice. “You can put all the defects in the world on me, but I will not permit you to call me an egoist. If you prefer to do things your way, go ahead, but don’t waste my time anymore. Our collaboration is over.” [305]

OMG, this is harsh. But it’s the kick in the ass Ophelia needs. Since taking up a secret identity as Eulalia and aspiring to become a Forerunner (essentially a scholar and a scribe), she’s already been confronted by the fact that she’s not as good a researcher as she’s prided herself on. Now, she’s being confronted by the suggestion that she’s not a very good partner, either. It leaves her feeling “drier than dust.” [321]

I think it’s interesting how Thorn’s dialogue here has a double meaning. He’s talking about their partnership as an investigative team, of course. But it just as easily applies to their personal relationship. He can’t keep waiting around for Ophelia to make up her mind. He’s got a God to hunt down, an Other to face. Having to wonder about where he stands with Ophelia is getting to be too much. By once again haranguing off on her own, Ophelia has made it plain to him that she prefers to do things without him. In his eyes, she’s pushing him away.

Eventually, she is able to see this perspective and she is ashamed to realize how badly she’s held Thorn to a double standard. He gave of himself through words and gestures as far as he was able, while she gave him nothing in return. Finally, FINALLY, Ophelia fully expresses her love for Thorn and, as he once did, asks him to forgive her shortcomings. It’s a very sweet scene, I must say.  

Now, to go back for a moment, what’s really gutting about Ophelia calling Thorn an egoist is this:

“God said he would keep his eyes on you,” he muttered, in a choked voice. “Right in front of me. I make a lamentable husband, but I permit no one, particularly him, to persecute my wife. It’s impossible for me to tear you away from God, but I can tear him away from you. If a book exists that contains God’s secret, and allows his invulnerability to be punctured, I will find it.” [392]

For context, Ophelia had admonished Thorn for his dogged pursuit of this quest, expressing outrage that he should be doing this for a world that’s done nothing for him. At one time, yes, Thorn may have been acting in the interest of the world. Then, he met Ophelia (who is too curious for her own good) and he met God. God threatened her, and Thorn is not a man who could allow such a thing to go unpunished, no matter the consequence. Ever since they met—through every consideration, every move in this impossible investigation and despite each rejection from her—he’s been acting out of love for Ophelia. 

As Thorn said, he is not an egoist.

The Blind Spot

After their “egoist” argument, Ophelia feels instant regret and tries to stop Thorn from walking away. She doesn’t succeed, however, because she is struck by his claws. At first, she believes he may have done this on purpose, the thought of which really scares her because it indicates that Thorn is absolutely done with her.

Later, after she finally makes her confession, we all learn that, in fact, Thorn has lost a bit of control over his family power. He has no idea that he used his claws on Ophelia. I’m a little bit unsure what caused this vulnerability—I don’t really follow the given reason, so I’m wondering if Thorn doesn’t quite know himself why this has come to be.

My theory is more euphemistic. Ophelia had reached out to touch his turned back and the gesture badly startled him. He overreacts then overcorrects, and they both take a memorable tumble. Thorn explains:

“Never again accost me from behind my back or from any of my blind spots. Don’t do any movement that I can’t see coming in advance, or then warn me out loud.” [389]

He further explains that he can retain control as long as his claws don’t perceive her as a threat and asks her not to be absent-minded with him. I think it’s entirely plausible that his control over his Dragon power has weakened due to his deep emotion regarding Ophelia. I also feel that this speaks closely to their recent conflict as well as Thorn’s coding as autistic. It’s like Thorn is saying, “No more hide and seek. No more games. Tell me straight, or not at all.”

Ophelia knows how deep his passions run. She once held his dice and thought she might die under the weight and intensity of his emotions. Perhaps it is her Animism that has wrought this change in him. Perhaps it is simply her existence. Either way, she can no longer afford to be careless when it comes to Thorn’s feelings. In the final chapter, Ophelia and Thorn have a true heart to heart, reaffirming their partnership. But Thorn has something to add.

“No half-measures,” he interrupted her. “I’m not and do not wish to be your friend.” [445]

What he leaves unspoken is that he wants to be her husband, in every version of the role: Partner. Protector. Lover. Now that Ophelia has given him an answer, Thorn is comfortable leading them forward and it is the role of lover that he specifically has in mind. Considering this is probably the first time he’s ever propositioned a woman for sex, he is understandably quite awkward. Ophelia quickly realizes that she’s added to his inner turmoil by repressing her own sexuality around him and inadvertently making him feel less than attractive. She also understands that she, too, wants to be his wife in every version of that role: Partner. Protector. Lover. What follows is a really beautiful expression of honest acceptance and true value.

Desire

My dudes, our girl is constantly at risk of exploding (or maybe imploding?) with desire in this book. It’s consuming her, emptying her, and driving every atom of her being. Look at this!

Ophelia had received no news from Thorn after his escape. Not a single telegram, not a single letter. She could keep telling herself that he couldn’t run the risk of making contact, that he was a man wanted by the law, perhaps by God himself, but it was eating her up inside. [22]

Whenever she crossed a man who was a bit taller than average, she couldn’t stop herself from looking back as she passed, with a frantic pounding in her chest. [83]

Ophelia would have recognized his voice out of a thousand. The resonance of a double bass, solemn and sullen, that echoed through her inner emptiness, shook her to the core, welled up to her throat, choked her. [240]

She waited until her heartbeat, taxed by the run, had returned to normal. But it didn’t happen. Her entire flesh seemed to be pulsating to a single chaotic rhythm. This evening, she would see Thorn again. [249]

She wanted to be with Thorn right there, right now. She’d wanted that every second of every minute of every hour, for almost three years. [249]

Although she knew the temperature of this place was strictly maintained at minus eight degrees, Ophelia felt as if it were fifteen degrees warmer. Never in her life had she cared about appearances, and yet she ran a nervous hand through her hair to tidy it up. [253]

She suddenly realized that there wasn’t much she would have refused him, had he but asked. [278]

Instead, he disinfected his hands for a second time, as if they really were repulsive. They weren’t in Ophelia’s eyes. From a distance, she took in the network of veins under the skin, the long, curved fingers, the bone that          rose up on each wrist, and suddenly, she felt something like pain in the pit of her stomach. She hadn’t the slightest idea what was happening to her, but looking at those hands made her want to scream. [283]

She felt it again, even more violently, this urgent call from deep inside her. [446]

Ophelia is so horny and I’m so here for it!

Closing Thoughts

Do I think Ophelia’s internal conflict over Thorn is drawn out? Yes. 

Do I think it’s contrived? No.

I think it falls in line with Ophelia’s characterization and I think Thorn’s frosty reaction to her presence in Babel falls in line with his characterization. These characters aren’t perfect: Ophelia is quirky and endearing, but that doesn’t make her immune to cowardice; Thorn is highly skilled and competent but is deficient socially and sometimes emotionally. I can’t emphasize enough how well Christelle Dabos knows her characters and allows them to be who they are rather than force them to make weird changes to fill plot holes.  

We can’t forget, either, the fact that they have been completely cut off from one another for years. Yes, we might think in that time Ophelia could have done more to sort out her feelings. But as we’ve seen, she just doesn’t focus on more than what she can handle at a time. She always thinks in terms of breaking a problem down into steps. The first step was following up on those clues from Claridelune. The second step was finding Thorn. The last step was dealing with herself. 

Their relationship here, which has progressed in a way that felt natural and believable, is the most straightforward it has ever been. That made writing about them this time around kind of hard, actually, because it’s all plainly there in the text. For me, I think the notable takeaway is being able to mark just how far these two characters have come in their individual and mutual journeys. Now and together, they can tackle the gargantuan, perilous task ahead. It might all end on a bittersweet note. But for this couple…that seems about right, and I can’t wait to read the conclusion.

Thank you so much for reading these long posts and leaving such kind feedback! I’m glad that you, too, enjoy Ophelia, Thorn, and this magical series. 

[the-lady-writes-what]

Before I finally try to sleep, I have a bitter rant to get through. I don't know how many follow fanart artists on Instagram, but there was one creator that I really liked, Erin Clover. I just now found out that she deleted her account. She made some really good art, but there's something about this generation of fans that thinks it's okay to ruin things. Unlike the Yagami Yato accusations earlier this year, there was zero tangible evidence of Erin Clover doing anything wrong other than having an OC who was a bit of a Mary Sue (which isn't bad or wrong. I still liked her OC). Apparently behind the scenes, people were accusing her of being a pedophile because she drew NSFW content that included aged up characters like Bakugo. It got to the point where she deleted everything and there are people who are celebrating that on Twitter. It's especially gross considering that some profiles I came across weren't even a year old and only contained hate comments about Erin Clover.

This is why we can't have nice things.

Back in my day, you'd find all sorts of cringey OCs, NSFW fan art and fanfiction written by both minors and adults and nobody batted an eye. Fast forward about a decade and if you so much as cosplay a character who's canonically a minor and you're an adult, you're labeled a pedophile. Let me get one thing clear, most of the content creators who make that stuff are not the MAPs you're looking for. People age up characters in fan art and fanfiction all the time because we adults aren't interested in railing or getting railed by teenagers. There are creators who go out of their way to keep their NSFW content out of the hands of minors by putting it on Patreon or something with an age block, but they still receive comments calling them pedos. Where is the same energy for actual pedophiles instead of adults making content with aged up characters? Y'all weren't complaining when you were eating up spicy boy's love comics and fan art a few years ago, now any artist or writer is a MAP because they age up characters in order to make the content they want? Fuck off with that shit. Drawing adult Bakugo fucking Y/N isn't pedophilic behavior. Why? Because Bakugo is being drawn as an adult and not a child. Pretty soon nobody will want to make anything because there's going to be a host of white knights canceling artists for so much as drawing Kirishima's nipple. Meanwhile, there are YouTubers who still have platforms even after admitting to sexting and flirting with minors. These content creators are not the same.

As much as I want to support the enthusiasm, something has to stop. This younger generation of fans coming need to seriously look in a mirror or go touch some grass. There's kids, literal kids, bending themselves out of shape for content they shouldn't be looking at in the first place. They'd have aneurysms if they saw even half the shit that was posted on the internet a few years ago. The world of 2007-2015 fanfiction was a wild frontier. These bullies calling content creators pedophiles wouldn't survive the fanfiction community back in the day.

To the assholes who made Erin Clover delete all her stuff, shame on you. You're not heroes, you don't get to pay yourselves in the back over on Twitter. Honestly, I think some of the younger fans, some not all, don't deserve a fandom at all. You can participate when you've grown out of your diapers and sit with the adult's table.

[optimistic-dinosaur-nacho]

Annoying

Johnny Storm x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Langauge, One Pick-Up line Summary: Ever since you got powers from a space mission, you’re stuck with your team who are figuring out how to get rid of your powers altogether. But your one teammate decides to plan things out to make a little money. It’s getting out of hand when he only annoys you.

A/N: @just-one-ordinary-fangirl​ is making me too obsessed with Johnny Storm. The perfect match, she says and I’m a little scared because I can see it. This is gonna be a disaster and we need more Johnny Storm on my list.

Not everyday someone wakes up with powers and always gets told that they make a room not heat up. Out of every super ability you can have, it was ice powers. How stupid is that? Sue had the best one, you wanted to be the one to leave a conversation so easily by disappearing. But it doesn’t seem to be great when you have to strip bare. 

Not your ideal of having, so you just had to go with your own. You were told so many times how much yours weren’t horrible. You couldn’t say it in front of Ben. Everyone knew why. 

A walk in Central park, you were relaxing in the summer air. Seeing dogs run down the grass, people on bikes riding down or people walk down. You can hear someone pant and call out to you. Turning, you see a man who was running. “Hey, can you help me with something?”

You look at him in confusion and nodded, “Yeah, sure-” He shoves his water bottle into your hand and he kneels down on one knee to tie his shoe, “Thanks.” You couldn’t help but grip the bottle in irritation. The man stands up with a sigh, “Thank you.” He takes his water bottle and opens the cap. You look at the bottle and your eyes widen.

The two of you stared at the bottle that was now frozen. He stared at you, shockingly, “You’re...” The man stuttered and you can’t stand making a crowd if he ever bursts out in excitement. With a turn of your heel, you walked away. “Wait!” You hear him shout, you reached your hand out and the ground becomes frozen as you sprint walk. You hear the man slip and fall so you take that chance to run. 

Heading back to the tower, you shoved your hands in your pockets and made your way through the doors, greeted by the front desk. The elevator dings and you see two people walk out. “Hey!” Johnny jumps at you, hiding something behind his back, he grins a little too big. “I have something, you might want to see.”

“I’m not in the mood, Pretty Boy. Now move before I give you a frost bite.”

You take a step to the side till Johnny mirrors your movement and holds his hand out. “Come on,” He tilts his head at you, “I promise you, you’re gonna love this.” You stare at him stupidly to have him just show you and leave you alone. He pulls it out and grins, “Ah, isn’t it cool?” You gawk at the horrendous toy. “It’s you!” He says.

You can see the blue outfit that your team wears with the number 5 on it. He looks at the toy, “And looks it’s got this!” He lifts up the arm and pushes a button. “Johnny, I-” You get cut off by a squirt of water hits the center of your face causing you to look deadpan. 

Johnny kept a smile on his face like a five year old. Your eyes were still closed as the water drips down your face, “Johnny?”

“Yeah?” He asks, waiting for the most fantastic response from you. You reach up to your face and wipe away the water, you sighed, “I don’t have water powers.” Johnny looks at the toy, “But ice is water.” His shoulders drop, “Come on, I’m trying here.”

“You’re not even trying, Johnny. These aren’t things we should be happy about. We’re freaks now. And I don’t want... a toy that looks like me,” You say, “Besides these won’t sell.” Johnny lowers the toy and smirks, “Well, I saw these in every store. By tomorrow, we’ll be like the Kardashians.”

You roll your eyes and slowly thought of something. “Can I see the toy, I actually think these are cool.” Johnny hands you the toy with a cocky grin. You smiled at the toy and your hands grow colder. Johnny’s face drops, “Woah. Hey! That’s the prototype!”

The toy began to freeze up like an icicle and you dropped it on the ground, shattering it to pieces. You peer up at him, sadly, “Oops. Cold hands.” You hear the elevator ding and that gave you the chance to walk in like nothing happened. Johnny stood there like you just insulted his mom.

With a grin, you waved at him like a high school girl and fake grin in the world as the elevator doors close.

The next day, you hadn’t seen Johnny since morning. Sue and Reed were already gone and left on a date. Ben was in his own room while you sat in the kitchen, eating whatever you made from the fridge. You hear the phone ring and you made your way to it and picked it up.

“Hello?”

“Ah, Miss L/N. I have a package for you.” You furrowed your brows to your doorman in the lobby. You never ordered a package, but if it was another of those fanart from kids, you couldn’t refuse. “Alright. I’ll be down there in a bit.” You hung up and made your way to the elevator. Pushing the Lobby floor, you waited in the small room, stopping to let a fellow person into the small room with you.

His small grin winked at you as you forced one onto your face. He shivers, “Brr. It’s a little cold in here, is it?” He asked. You rolled your eyes at him and sighed, “Maybe next time don’t wear short sleeves,” You say. The man looked over his shoulder at you, awkwardly. 

You obviously were the problem but you didn’t care one bit. 

Once the doors open, the man was the first one out and you met up with your doorman and he handed you the small box. “Ah, here you go, Miss.” You nod once at him and hear someone laugh.

“Look who it is. DQ Blizzard. What’s got you down here?” Johnny asks, leaning on the desk. You turn away and headed straight for the elevator. “Listen, Pretty Boy. I’m not in a good mood.” Johnny trots behind like a child, “When are you not in the mood? Look, I know yesterday with your own figurine was... too much. But in all honestly, it was sick.”

You turn toward the opens doors, “Keep talking, I’ll make you into a popsicle. Now shut up.” Johnny quirks his brows up as a ‘Got it’ and never spoken again. You two stood there in silent, finally being in a peaceful room with one of the most annoying people on the planet.

The elevator opens to a woman and she comes in with a small grin. Johnny nods at her and she faces away from you two. The woman sighs, “Strange. You guys feel hot and cold?” She asked.

Johnny glances over at you before turning to the woman, “No. Not at all,” He spoke. Seconds, you could see Johnny steam up a little. You hear the woman let out a gasp, “Didn’t they fix the vents last time? Whoo. It’s hot,” You watch as the woman began to take off her suit jacket and Johnny watched her slowly. You found a way to stop him, kicking him in the shin causing him to yelp.

The elevator dings and the woman leaves glistening with sweat and the doors close once again. You shook your head slowly, “You’re disgusting.” Johnny shoves his hands in his pockets and grins. “Come on. Enjoy it. You were hot, too, admit it.”

“Actually I wasn’t. Maybe try a little harder because you can’t get to me that easily,” You say, leaving through the doors once they reached your level. Johnny followed behind with a grin. “Oh, come on. I get to you all the time. Even when you’re 0 degrees below, you still heat up in the cheeks. Admit it, Snowflake.”

You turn around, “Don’t call me Snowflake.”

“Hey, you call me Pretty Boy, what’s wrong with Snowflake?” He asks, he glances at the box in your arms, “I wonder what’s in the box.” He smirks at you in a bad way that gets you thinking. What was this jerk planning? You ripped the box open and saw plastic wrap. You pulled it open and saw what looked like Johnny. As a toy.

“What the hell is this? Did you get me this?” You asked, Johnny glance into the box again and so did you. A letter inside made you read it instantly. 

Push the button on the back.

You look at the doll and pushed the button on its back. “Enjoy your new room.” You furrowed your brows and glared at Johnny. You raced to your room and pushed your door open, your mouth gapes at the scene. “What the hell, Johnny!” He comes in casually with his hand in his pockets. “What? I actually like it.”

“I don’t! Everything is...” You turned to the bed sheets that had his face on it, “You!” Toys of Johnny in his Fantastic Four suit were all over the place. Your curtains were blue with the number four on it. Johnny even added your figurine around the room.

“Where the hell did you get this stuff?” You asked, pacing around the room to gather all the merchandise. Johnny looks around like a proud guy. “Well, you know people get creative with us being top trending people, and I am the hottest guy here while you... hottest girl on the team as well, they made things for us. And I had a few people I know. It’s an early birthday gift.”

“My birthday was a month ago.”

Johnny pauses, lifting a finger up, “Okay... late birthday gift. But, hey...” He smiles like a child, pointing at you, “You are my biggest fan.” You grab the pillow case that had his face on it and threw it at him. “You’re so annoying! I hate you!” YOu shout. 

Johnny laughs and catches it. “Come on! It’s amazing! It took me hours.” You throw another object at him and he blocks them with the pillow. “Woah! Hey!” You throw more things, “You! Are! So! Annoying!” You say, you began to run over to him till he takes your face in his hands and your lips crash onto his. Your fighting stops and your hands go over his. Your lips relaxed on his and he pulls away.

You open your eyes to see his blue hues, his grin tugging his lips. “What?” You asked. Johnny still rested his palms on your cheeks, “You’re as red as I am on fire.” You stomp on his foot causing him to hiss and reach for his foot. “I hate you,” His back hunched over to grab his foot with his hand till you kiss him again and his head lifts up to kiss you back again. 

The kiss lasted for another second and you pulled away. 

“Now clean up my room. I expect it to go back to normal,” You say. Johnny looks around the room to see your obsession with him and it made him grin. “I think it is normal to have a room filled with myself all over. That bed sheet isn’t gonna be the only Johnny in bed.”

“Ugh, you need to work on your lines.”

Official Taglist:

@jtargaryen18​ @joannaliceevans-fanficblog​ @donutloverxo​ @axen-gers​ @captainchrisbaby​ @patzammit​ @bucksgoat​ @la-cey​ @void-hoechlin​ @lovepeacefood​ @stargazingfangirl18​ @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ @stop-obsessing-over-those-actors​ @star-spangled-beard-burn​ @nickysurfer28​ @nbarnes​ @mcntsee​ @adriannajackson​ @chuckbass-love​ @sebbystanlover-vk​ @onetwo3000​ @captainamerica-is-bae​ @cheeseburgersstuff​ @iguessweallcrazyithinktho​ @rororo06​ @elliee1497​ @navybrat817​ @waywardodysseys​ @just-one-ordinary-fangirl​ @chris-evans-indian-fanfic​ @this-is-a-chilis-drive-thru​ @what-is-your-plan-today​ @princess-evans-addict​

[adwendoodles]

some Silmarillion Tarot Card sketches (very messy, very unreferenced) ~

Pictured here are The Moon (Sauron), The Tower (Turin), The Sun (Tuor and Idril sail for Valinor), The Star (Earendil and Elwing looking down at their children), Wheel of Fortune (Maedhros and Fingon), The High Priestess (Melian teaching Galadrien) and last but not least, The Lovers (Luthien and Beren, old and happy)

Some (super long) rambling under the cut

I’ve wanted to do this for a while and nothing gets me wanting to start a new, complex, probably out of my skill range project like the imminent return of the school year amid covid :D you gotta seize the day, you know?

jokes aside I am happy to have started this... but it’s so hard to match everyone up. I’m trying to at least kinda follow the tarot meanings. i don’t know anything about tarot though, so so far my matches are based on what wikipedia tells me... (and even then it’s mostly what they quote from A. E. Waite's Pictorial Key To The Tarot, copy pasted below)

Anyway if anyone is curious what the deck so far is:

- The Magician: “Skill, diplomacy, address, subtlety, pain, loss, disaster, snares of enemies; self-confidence, will“

I NEARLY MADE MAEDHROS THIS but he’s already part of the wheel of fortune so i’m thinking Finrod

- The High Priestess: “Secrets, mystery, the future as yet unrevealed, silence, wisdom, science”

This was a toss up between Galadriel (who would be this if it was a LOTR spread) and Melian (who was my first and final pick). My card designs for this vary between symbolic bs and small smattering of scenes that I like, so I went ‘both characters’ and thus this card shows Melian teaching Galadriel how to use the water mirror thing

- The Empress: “Fruitfulness, action, initiative, length of days; the unknown, clandestine; also difficulty, doubt, ignorance. “

For obvious reasons I want this to be a female... I’m thinking Aredhel due to her taking action in leaving Gondolin but then ending up with Eol. If Idril hadn’t already been part of the Sun card I probably would have gone with her building the stairs.... 

Honestly now I’m half tempted to change the sun card and have this be Idril. Any thoughts?

- The Emperor: “ Stability, power, protection, realization; a great person; aid, reason, conviction also authority and will. “

I went with Fingolfin for this, though I haven’t gotten a design I like. Could also be Turgon? But again, no design. I was thinking Fingolfin holding his crown... idk. i’ll figure something else.

- The Hierophant - “Marriage, alliance, captivity, servitude; by another account, mercy, and goodness; inspiration”

I went with Gwindor (and Finduilas, who in my current design also shows up in the card) for this due to the marriage troubles and his capture by morgoth, as well as the fact that Finduilas was able to recognize him and still cared for him... . Though now that Aredhel’s place as the empress might be instead taken by Aredhel, she actually fits this...

- The Lovers: “-Attraction, love, beauty, trials overcome. “

THIS WAS ALWAYS GONNA BE BEREN AND LUTHIEN lets be real. i mean. attraction??? love???? beAUTY??? TRIALS OVERCOME??? i swear tolkien just checked off every thing

For their card I went with something I’ve never really seen in fanart---at least not often/that I can remember. I kinda wanted to draw them old and happy; I was very much inspired by Carl and Ellie from UP... they’re probably the only couple in all of the silmarillion that got to grow old together and die happy

- The Chariot - “ Succour, providence also war, triumph, presumption, vengeance, trouble. “

I went with Aegnor and Angrod for this one, because they held one part of the border against morgoth for 500 years. That’s a lot of time!!! then they died, of course, which is the ‘vengeance and trouble’ part of the card. dunno about the design for them yet tho

- Strength - “ Power, energy, action, courage, magnanimity; also complete success and honors. “

i was so torn on who to do this for. fingolfin??? one of the sons of feanor??? fingon??? finrod “i wrestled a werewolf to death” felagund????

but so far my favorite pic is Hurin. Dude was so strong, not just literally... but in everything he had to live through... all i think about when i read this card description is his final desperate charge in the Nirnaeth... brb gave my self feels

bc the ‘complete success’ part is very ironic

alternatively this card (or the chariot) could be glorfindel and ecthelion. if anyone reads this and has an opinoon, lemme know what you think~

- The Hermit - “ Prudence, circumspection; also and especially treason, dissimulation, roguery, corruption. “

I don’t know who to do this for... I considered Ulfang but tbh I wanted to draw more elves (what, im biased i admit it). so far i’m thinking curufin and celegorm in nargothrond because--

1. the reason they turned nargothrond against finrod was by encouraging them to be prudent and not go pick a fight with morgoth lmao

2. the whole ‘turning nargothrond against its king’ is definitely treason of some sort, to the cause if not to finrod himself

3. what action of theirs in the ley of leithian isn’t rogueish klajfdsd

- Wheel of Fortune: “ Destiny, fortune, success, elevation, luck, felicity. “

I went with Maedhros and Fingon for this one because I feel like they’re two characters that are constantly influencing each other’s destiny like

1. Fingon’s friendship with Maedhros causes him to jump into the fray at alqualonde and thus turn the tide of the battle but

2. Maedhros’ friendship with Fingon is not enough to sway Feanor, thus leaving the only other path to middle earth for fingon and co through the helcaraxe

3. due to the above, the noldor forces in beleriand are not enough for a decisive initial battle and feanor dies and maedhros is captured...

4. fingon rescues maedhros (thus saving him from a destiny of slavery)

5. this action prevents civil war and maedhros gives up the kingship, which fingon inherits

5. maedhros union and everything that leads up to fingon’s death

i dont need to go on do i

- Justice - “ Equity, rightness, probity, executive; triumph of the deserving side in law. “

this is another hard one, and if anyone has any ideas i’m all ears. so far i’m thinking eonwe or manwe

- The Hanged Man - “ Wisdom circumspection, discernment, trials, sacrifice, intuition, divination, prophecy. “

IT WAS SO HARD TO NOT GO WITH MAEDHROS FOR THE OBVIOUS REASONS but to me he doesn’t really fit the card??? he’s not very self-sacrificial (as wiki explains the ‘hanged man’ part is interpreted)--dutiful, sure. suicidal, obviously. self-sacrificial? not really.

so i talked with a friend and she pointed out that Huan actually fit this card really well. still trying to figure out the design but so far Huan is my pick for this one.

- Death - “ a change of thinking from an old way into a new way “ & “ unlikely that this card actually represents a physical death, rather it typically implies an end, possibly of a relationship or interest, and therefore an increased sense of self-awareness “

I dunno who this is but I was thinking Finwe. Because his death was the final catalyst for the flight fo the noldor and all that... and the end of the relationship of many noldor with the valar...

- Temperance - “ Economy, moderation, frugality, management, accommodation.“

i have NO IDEA who this could be. I’m thinking either Nerdanel or Arafinwe, leaning a bit more towards Arafinwe bc of actions during the flight of the noldor

- The Devil - “ Ravage, violence, vehemence, extraordinary efforts, force, fatality”

lmao this was always going to be Morgoth 

- The Tower - “ Misery, distress, indigence, adversity, calamity, disgrace, deception, ruin.”

my knee-jerk reaction was to give this to Turgon bc of the name, but the meaning caused me instead to go for Turin. the card is actually one of the doodles added. i’m annoyed that glaurung looks like the cheshire cat but what can be done

- The Star - “ Loss, theft, privation, abandonment; another reading says--hope bright prospects, “

this is one of those serendipitous moments where the name association AND the meaning fit. this was totally Earendil and Elwing. my design for now has them looking down/watching over elrond and elros...

- The Moon - “Hidden enemies, danger, calumny, darkness, terror, deception, occult forces, error. “

This was totally Sauron. Specifically Annatar.

- The Sun - “ reflect happiness and contentment, vitality, self-confidence and success.“

I had no idea who to do this for. I mean. happy characters??? in the silmarillion???? ha. haha. hahahahaha.

i considered doing the men waking up... but idk... i went with Tuor (and Idril) at siphilemon’s suggestion. the doodle shows them seeing Valinor in the distance. but now i want idril to be the empress (and i dont want to repeat characters). so if anyone has a better idea, let me know.

(incidentally, I actually believe that idril and tuor never made it to valinor. i mean, sure i like it because i like everyone in the silm to be happy in the end, but if im serious serious i don’t think they did it. guess its a good thing that there are many silm versions :D)

- Judgement - “Judgement, Rebirth, Inner-calling, Absolution, Karma, Causality, Second chance”

dunno who this could be. if nothing else i’ll probably default to Mandos/Namo

- The World - “Assured success, recompense, voyage, route, emigration, flight, change of place.“

For this many characters could work... my first pick is Elros though. My idea has him sailing for Numenor.

- The Fool- “ Folly, mania, extravagance, intoxication, delirium, frenzy, bewrayment. “

who to do for this, i wondered? in the end i settled for Feanor. Specifically, the Fool(ish) Oath of Feanor. if anyone has any other idea though, im all ears

MAN THAT WAS LONG. did anyone read this far?? if so thank you~ ^-^ and if you have any ideas, let me know. (Specifically-- who should be the empress card, Aredhel or Idril? and if Idril, then what should the Sun card be? just tuor on his own, happy in Gondolin/Valinor?)

[dreamhot]

i hope you dont mind me asking this,, but ive had a really big art block lately (its been months since ive actually drawn a full piece :() and i really want to draw dream (maybe dteam but idk) but i have no idea of what to draw. i was wondering if i could maybe pick your brain for some? if not thats totally ok!!

hey anon !! don't mind at all, but tragically i am the WORST at coming up with ideas. so, while this isn't a list of straightforward recommendations, i figured i would share what i do when i'm looking for inspo

- have a favourite text post or meme, mcyt-related or not? do a redraw!

- similarly: scour through an incorrect quotes blog for some ideas (i find this can be a bit hit or miss for characterisation, but you can unearth some gems now and then)

- do you read fic? got any favourites? try drawing something from a scene you like! if you post it, just make sure to link back to the author/their fic - chances are they'll be over the moon to know someone's made fanart of their work

- if all else fails, there's nothing wrong with a good ol fashioned left-facing headshot, or any of the other classic fave concepts (dream with patches, dream mirror selfie, etc)

not sure if any of this will be helpful to you, but maybe it'll help guide you on the way to coming up with something :] cheers!

[mahou-furbies]

☕️ transformation items in precure!

Overall I’m more tolerant for dumb designs with transformation items than in weapons so most of them get a positive or at least neutral reaction from me. However some still scream “we would never have used a design like this if it wasn’t for the toys”.

Let’s go through them all!

Futari wa Precure

Simple flip-phone like designs for the modern girl in 2004. I think these are alright enough but don’t raise a lot of emotions in me. Not a fan of the mascots transforming into items, like does the phone become a part of their body, that’s just creepy. I’d prefer if it was made clear that the phone is a separate item and the mascots just shrink to be able to fit in it. I prefer the original designs, the upgraded ones look busier.

Uhh... I got nothing on this. I guess it’s nice that the new girl gets an item that’s a bit different but also similar to the ones we already have.

Splash Star

Still got nothing, it’s the same thing again. Good that they started using different ideas from the fourth season onwards. I guess I prefer the Futari Wa ones since these somehow feel too small. Nice light? But let’s just say that while it’s just fine to use phone as a base for the transformation item, there’s quite many of them on this list and in general they are a bit boring when you can’t do anything else with them than press a few buttons in the beginning.

Yes! Precure 5

Simple design but it works, usually black is a good idea. Though it could do with some buttons because now it doesn’t look you can do much anything with this. It’s a nice detail how the henshin starts with the lid of the clock opening and ends with it closing.

Now we’re truly in the 00′s with the flip phones. I like how the henshin starts with the lid opening, and the rose button is cute. But there’s not a lot to say about this one and it’s pretty boring.

My second least favourite Precure transformation item. What is this even supposed to be? Some kind of makeup case? In that case I’d rather have the colous be actual makeup and not buttons. The handle also feels stupid.

Fresh Precure!

This doesn’t even try to pretend it’s not a phone, it even has the number buttons. Actually were the transformation items originally the Cures’ phones? Can they make regular phone calls with this? I’d like to see that. But this is cute enough, I can imagine that a real phone like this could have been popular with little girls. But maybe it could do with some extra detail to look more weird, now it feels a bit too mundane to be a magical girl item.

Heartcatch Precure!

I’m not a huge fan of beauty products in little girls’ shows, but they do make a lot of sense in a transformation sequence where you get to see the characters “apply” the magic themselves, and the fragrance bottles make for some great henshin animation and also fit a flower-themed season. I also like the white-and-gold palette, makes it look more regal than the usual shock pink.

I forgot this one even existed. I really can’t muster any emotion towards it, KiraKira did the compact mirror thing a lot better.

Suite Precure

Why are the colours pink-white-blue-purple and not yellow? I don’t have particularly strong feelings for this one in any direction, I guess on its own it’s a bit boring when it doesn’t resemble any real item I can recognise and you can’t do much else with it than press the button at the bottom, but I also think it’s fine to have an item like that every once a while. However I think the little mascot creatures that are needed to use this thing are uncute and that lowers the overall points.

Smile Precure!

Another makeup item, another chance for the characters to do the transformation themselves. I love the little tup tup! sound effect that comes from this. Otherwise great, but it’s just unacceptable that the canon Cures cover 5 of the coloured bead thingys but we don’t get a red or purple Cure. False marketing I say.

Doki doki! Precure

The mascot-items are back and I’m still not a fan of this living-creature-turns-into-hard-plastic-device thing. It’s a phone, but it’s also too bulky to comfortably feel like one. But I really like how they spell L-O-V-E with the heart, I thought that was creative.

They tried to make Ace all cool and mature and then her transformation item is the most kiddy-looking TOY makeup box ever. Even if the merch is plastic can’d she at least have actual makeup in the henshin? And what’s with the button colours, sure they’re the team colours this time, but the other Cures don’t even use this item. 

Happiness Charge Precure!

The idea that the Cures can choose different cards to insert is a super fun one, and it’s also nice that they can use it for more mundane outfit changes outside battle scenes too. The writing around the cards is atrocious though but that’s another story. As for the design of the device itself, I think it’s pretty weak, it’s somehow bulky and not very memorable.

Probably my least favourite item from this bunch. The Piano is yet another unrelated thing that is shoved into HapiCha’s confused world, there is nothing about making music in the themes of the season, or Iona as a character. I hate that this thing is the culmination of Hime and Iona’s character arcs. Also the design looks really cheap and the animation where Iona presses a couple keys to get sounds that don’t even try to hide that this is just a toy for three-year-olds wastes time.

Go! Princess Precure

Another makeup item. At least perfumes fit the princess theme... But Go!Pri has the best henshin scenes in Precure, and the Cures applying the tranformation themselves plays a part in that. I also love how they start the transformation by filling the bottle with their theme colour, and the little twist they do with the key is a nice change from the usual button presses. And like with Heartcatch white and gold makes for a good regal colour palette. I think you could get an actual pretty fragrance bottle for grownups with this design if you did it with glass rather than plastic.

Also there are the keys which I love because of course I’m going to love collectible frilly dress items. They give each transformation and attack something unique and I like the bit where all the keys show up in a chain at the end of the henshin (and thankfully otherwise hidden under frills so you don’t need to draw them every time), and it’s nice to get the lock-and-key theme to the henshin as well. So once again Go!Pri is the best Precure at something and now gets the award for Best Precure Transformation item.

(god flora is so cute in this frame)

Mahou Tsukai Precure!

My bias that ever since I was a kid I’ve never really liked teddy bears comes to play here. The idea that the Cures don’t have a distinct transformation item at all is fun and the jewel theme is nice too, but I’m just filled with negative emotions whenever I see Mofurun... I haven’t seen MahouTsukai outside the henshin scenes so who knows if she’ll turn out to be my favourite character (and not just by process of elimination from me disliking everyone else more)

Not a big fan of this one, is it supposed to be a smartphone, or do they have some kind of smart notebooks in Japan? Either way it doesn’t really fit witches or flower fairies. All the little engravings are pretty and the flowers are cute, but overall this feels just random.

Kira Kira Precure a la Mode

Mixing the attributes the character represents with a magic whisk and then transforming by covering yourself with the whipped cream is a super fun idea, and also one of the few Precure transformations where the girls apply the transformation themselves that is not based on beauty products. Or I guess this is a pocket mirror too but whatever. The item itself is fun and cute enough.

However as those who saw my Ichika fanart a few days ago I really really really don’t like that they have to fiddle with the pathetic tiny q-tip of a whisk, give them one the size of a microphone so they can put some strength into it!

Hugtto! Precure

I love how you can twist the end to make a heart, if I had one of these I’d click it back and forth while sitting at the computer and the hinges would be busted in no time. The grey things at the edge of the screen could be some other colour, now they look a bit like they’re made of rocks. I don’t think this one does anything special but it’s just so cute that I have to love it.

Star Twinkle Precure

These are fun but a bit wasted on a season that has nothing to do with art. But otherwise A+ idea, very active participation from the girls when they draw almost everything in their new look, and it’s not makeup-based. Quill and ink bottle are the most magical writing apparatus so that’s very fitting, and thanks to the space theme we get some stars too so it’s not just the usual hearts. The pink tone is a bit gaudy.

Healin’ Good Precure

And we end on a weaker note with mascot items again. And these are my least favourites since to me they come across as if they have the dead-eyed animals’ decapitated heads sticking out of them. The paws also feel somehow unbalanced, and should not be pink for the blue and yellow items. The bottles feel tacked on too.

I feel that the mascots have been treated a bit better than average in Healin’ Good so I suppose it’s not bad that they get to be involved with the fights too (It’s nice that the item is also used as a weapon) but I would really rethink the design since now I don’t think the different elements go too well together and the result feels unbalanced. 

[mcrmadness]

Rambling about my (dä fan)art...

I was writing another post and this kinda got out of hand and turned into me talking about my art overall. I’m gonna put this under the cut because I don’t know if people are interested in my art nor especially in my thought about it and my “art history” basically, but if you are, then I hope you enjoy.

And yes, this is gonna be about my die ärzte fanart mainly!

So let’s start with the HELL coverart drawing because that’s what I was talking about originally:

I’m extremely happy with how the drawing turned out in the end and I like that feeling of success when I’m happy with something I have created. That is not always self-evident with myself. More than often I have plain hated my drawings or have felt like there should be something done differently, or something that I could always improve at and do better. So this feeling where I’m actually content and happy with what I have created is something new and different. I have a dopamine rush every time I look at that drawing. I like the drawing. I think it looks nice. And I’m extremely happy about this fact and I am not afraid of admitting it. Perfectionism is a curse and a gift. It can sometimes make your life a living hell when something that is perfectly good still feels like it’s not enough. When everyone else sees that what you have done is actually good or even great but your brain just keeps repeating how it’s shit and everyone else is just delusional and that they don’t see what you see. And this is like the polar opposite of that feeling. It wasn’t other people who were delusional, it was you and youself all along. You were the one seeing the image in your head and the drawing not matching that image. Other people saw only what you had created and couldn’t compare it to anything. And that doesn’t mean it was never good.

So whenever I do these comics and comic style drawings nowadays, I just feel so happy. I feel that I am no longer failing them, I feel like I can draw the image I see in my head. I finally feel like I can draw, I have some skills, I’m not a professional and maybe not as good as everyone else but I’m good at what I’m doing. This is my thing and I’m good at it and it’s enough. And I love it when I feel like I’m improving. For years I felt like I was stuck, like my skills would have been glitching somehow, I didn’t get better no matter how much I drew. But I guess I tried too much and was too harsh on myself because I believed that a drawing is good only when no reference photos have been used. And I sucked at drawing without them. I still do! I was staring at the Hell coverart the whole time I was drawing! I wouldn’t have been able to do this if I didn’t! And this feels particularly good also because this is the first time I have tried something different with these comics. I have never tried to draw a photo or existing picture with this style. I have only drawn my comics and those I have created all by myself. The clothes come from what I have seen in videos and photos but the plots are created by me alone, with a idea coming from somewhere actual usually, as inspirations do.

For comics I do look at reference photos of people sitting or standing, or I look at the mirror, or even take photos of my own hand to be able to draw something. And that’s lots of fun and also challenging because I’m mixing there my old habit of portrait drawing with my less serious comic book style but I really really do like the combination. It also makes me feel that I am memorizing what I draw and the next time when I need to draw that same posture, I no longer need the reference photos because they’re no in my brain. And in my muscle memory. My hand remembers how to do the lines now.

Here you can see one of the sketches I did in 2018 - I had this image in my head and I wanted to draw it and I just... drew it in my sketchbook. Didn’t use pencil. But now I’ve noticed I like doing these on proper paper instead of the sketchbook AND it’s so much more fun to first draw the sketch with the pencil and then draw on it with the fineliners. That I have always done with the comics (apart from one) because they take more time than these quick sketches. But here you can see Farin’s legs on the first image - I think I might have looked at reference photos for that but then it was so much easier to do the to the comic I made in 2019.

I have now also figured out that a big part of my style is not to draw just simple straight lines. I like making those sketch-like lines even with the marker. They look more rough but that’s something I like seeing with my art. That’s what I was missing when I was staring at the lines I had drawn before and hated every detail of them. They were too clean and neat.

^These two I have also drawn on my sketchbook in 2018 and I don’t really know why. I guess I was still a bit stupid and didn’t really realize I’m drawing again. But anyway, they both were inspired by my own fanfiction I have written a long time ago. It’s one of my favorite self-written fanfics and it had these two scenes I just saw in my head and felt like I could try drawing them. Maybe that’s why they are in my sketchbook, I wasn’t sure if they were going to turn out even good... The marker around the second one obviously was shit and the paper wasn’t good for it, and I never finished with it so it looks a bit weird. Do I need to say that I really enjoy drawing very small, repetative details, like those tiles? It’s so soothing, almost like a therapy.

I think that quitting antidepressants in 2013 has done so much good for my creativity. If you compare my work from 2011 to 2019, the difference is huge - all are just parts from my comics:

Can you guess see the difference? But have to admit I am jealous for myself for how I have drawn Farin’s hair to the 2011 one and maybe have forgotten to color Farin’s arm but... I actually had so long pause from drwing (~8 years) that I forgot how I did that and had to use THAT as a reference when I was trying to draw late 80s Farin’s at some point last or this year :D

Anyway, my style with the shadows is a little different when I use colored pencils than when I use markers. This is from my latest comic from this year, where I experimented with Promarkers the way I had never done before and I really like how it came to be:

I have owned this set of Promarkers (black + 5 greys) for years and have never really used them, apart from the black which I usually used for the thick lines anyway. And wanted to see if I could find some use for the greys too! (Yes that’s Bela back there - this comic was an alternative ending for Für Immer music video :D)

And I wanna end this post with a face progress comparison for all three. During this I also noticed that before I used to draw their side profiles and it was really difficult to find images where I’d have drawn from from the front. And nowadays I have mainly drawn them from the front and it’s hard to find side profiles! Interesting! Here’s one of Farin and Bela from a drawing I made this year:

Also the hand that was so much fun to draw but I also took photos of my own hand in that posture in order to even draw that - that was fun! :D

But here are the last three images - using the HELL one as the last for each, of course:

Bela has always been the easiest to draw. And the first one of these three is actually from my first ever Bela&Farin comic! I didn’t color their skin back then. With the next ones I already did color their skins too but I used darker colors to do the shadows. Nowadays I do the shadows with fineliners. Or it depends - that 2019 one doesn’t have that lol.

Damn it was so difficult to find something where I’d have draw Farin from the front :D And I see the HELL one literally is my second (or third) time drawing Farin with his grin. Or if you count all those numerous extra mouths I drew because I failed the first one, then I have drawn his grin at least 15 times by now. I probably can draw his teeth with no reference photos from now on.

I haven’t drawn Rod too many times. I can actually count about... 5 times? And then there’s only 2 times when I’ve drawn his side profile but he’s at the background. I don’t know if I’ve ever really succeeded at that, I usually try to draw his head a more round and his eyes smaller than for Bela and Farin and I was actually bit worried for the HELL one and was wondering if I’m going to ruin the whole thing. But in fact, that was actually easiest of them to draw. And STILL I’m surprised by how alike he looks in that last one. In fact, I think his dacial features are perfect for a carricature drawing so you don’t need to do more than a few lines for the mouth and it looks like his mouth. The middle one was for a drawing I made for a friend and with this I actually looked at photos so that I could draw some of his hairstyles from the 90s and I liked this one the best and it was also quite easy to draw too.

Do I even have to say that I’m not extremely motivated what comes to drawing? I feel like my creative has become what it has never been before. I still don’t really know what to draw but I just feel that whatever it is I’ll start next, it will be good. And if it doesn’t... who cares? I had so much fun with those extra mouths  of Farin which was maybe visible from the video I filmed, and that is what makes drawing worth it. Before I took the drawing process so seriously and a mistake felt like the end of the world but now I laugh at them and make fun of them and don’t take them too seriously. And I always have ways to fix these, or I can redraw. Just like I did with Farin’s mouth (or a half of his face actually) for this newest drawing. The most important thing is that I’m having fun and enjoying what I do, that way usually the outcome will also be a success.

I have now at least 2 dä comics on my to-do list (I don’t remember if there’s a third one too) + one pencil drawing that is halfway there. It will take one more night/day for it to get it finished. I also have probably 5 ideas for self-comics etc. in my sketchbook and I try to find some time to work on those. Or actually I have a plenty of time. Adhd, time blindness and executive dysfunction just make it feel as if I didn’t :D Can’t wait to get working on my next drawing projects, tho!

(I wish I knew how to make art for a living even but that’s a topic that will need its own post which I’m probably do in a near future if I don’t forget :D)