#i already made an entire essay long rant about it like TWICE and i only finished like 30 minutes ago

[cursedthing]

[stumbles into the room covered in blood all scratched up and disheveled] hey guys so i just finished playing pesterquest. what the fuck

[lottiebagley]

Cardigan- Cedric Diggory

Vintage tee, brand new phone High heels on cobblestones When you are young, they assume you know nothing

She would never forget the very first time she spoke to Cedric Diggory. She had been sorted into Gryffindor and he had been sorted into Hufflepuff, they'd seen each other around and even shared some classes but it was February of first year by the time they ever actually spoke.

She was best friends with George Weasley, she spent every waking moment with the twins, Angelina and Lee. The whole year knew of the little group and how inseparable they truly were, they'd gained the reputation of being funny pranksters and seemed to light up every room they went in.

To Cedric though, it hadn't been the group that lit up the rooms, it had been her. Her bright smile, her loud laughter. There was something about her that Cedric found impossible to ignore and he loved it. He was in an internal battle, on one hand he desperately wanted to speak to her, to know her, to be the reason she was laughing. On the other he was an 11 year old with a crush and was nervous.

He had decided automatically he was glad to talk to her though.

It was Saturday morning and he had been minding his own business, walking through the corridors to go and meet some friends after having been up to library to finish an essay and she had ran straight into him.

"Sorry, oh my merlin, I am so sorry," She speaks quickly, bending down to pick up the papers that she had knocked from her hands

"It's no bother," He smiles politely, his stomach full of butterflies when her hand brushes his. "I'm-"

"Cedric, sorry I'm not a creep I swear, we are in the same Charms class, you sit behind me" She cuts him off, he blushes brightly at her even acknowledging his existence.

"And Herbology," He smiles

"I'm-"

"Y/N, I know," it's her turn to blush and Cedric can feel his heart flip in his chest, she opens her mouth to say something but is interrupted by loud footsteps sprinting towards them

"LET'S GO Y/N! FILCH IS COMING!" Cedric isn't sure which twin it is, but they grab her hand and continue running, the girl is quick to join in turning back to shout over her shoulder

"Sorry again Cedric!" she calls, he stands dumbstruck with a look of awe in his eyes as he listens to her laughter grow faint as she rounds the corner.

Sequin smile, black lipstick Sensual politics When you are young, they assume you know nothing

Cedric doesn't work up the courage to speak to his crush again for a while. She simply isn't interested. At 11 years old she cared more for having fun with her friends, by 12 she's beginning to notice boys and sure enough she realises the Hufflepuff boy is cute but thinks nothing of it. At 13 she gets her first boyfriend, he's a Ravenclaw and her best friend hates him.

Cedric has his first kiss, he has girls that admit to fancying him and a few even catch his eye. None last though, because for every time he sees them he also sees her. Smiling and laughing with her friends and looking utterly ethereal.

It's when they're 14 that they next speak. It's their fourth year and Cedric is on his way back from quidditch practice when he hears a faint crying coming from an empty class room.  Being kind to his very core he doesn't think twice about poking his head round the door to see if whoever is in there is okay. It's only the second day of the school year and he expects to find a scared first year.

His heart breaks though at the sight of her. She's crying into her hands and sniffling loudly, seeming to not even notice someone come in.

"Hi," he speaks gently, not wanting to startle her. She look up immediately and the sight twists the knife in his chest. Her eyes are puffy and red rimmed, her makeup streaking on her cheeks. She immediately pulls her hands to her face, trying to wipe her tears away with her hands.

"Hi Cedric," she tries to smile but it comes out more like a grimace

"Can I sit?" He questions softly, she nods and he sinks onto the floor next to her, his back against the wall.

"Sorry, I look all gross and snotty," she sighs, he chuckles a little

"You're beautiful," not one part of him is lying or trying to make her feel better. He truly believed her to be the most beautiful thing on the entire planet. "Do you want to talk about it?" he offers

"I-you- we don't know each other I'm not going to make you sit through all my problems,"

"Hey, I offered," He assures, gently placing a hand on her knee and giving it a little squeeze.

"You sure? it's a lot and-"

"I am certain,"

"My boyfriend, well I guess not anymore. He broke up with me because he started talking to Ella McKinley over summer and I really liked him and we've ben together for like seven months and I thought he liked me but obviously not and I can't even talk to my friends about it. Freddie and Lee would find the whole thing hysterical, not because they don't care, they just wouldn't get that it feels like I will never be good enough for anyone. Angelina is friends with Ella and I don't want to make things awkward for her. And Georgie, he's the best friend on the planet and he would do anything to make me happy but he was right the whole time and I can't bare the look of pity and he will just know that he was right but he won't say it because I am a pathetic, crying mess. Plus, Fred and George will go and try and fight him and everyone will talk about it and I just wish that I was enough cause I really liked him," She rants with tears streaming down her cheeks and Cedric wants nothing more than to take her pain and put in on himself a 1000 times before she ever has to feel it.

"Hey, you look at me," He prompts, gently moving her face from where she's staring at her lap to face him. "You are so much more than enough. You're beautiful, truly I mean that. And you are so funny and kind, I've never heard a soul speak badly of you, plus I'm in half your classes and you are at the top of all of them so clearly you are smart. Alex Mayfield is stupid for ever letting you go and I promise you he will regret it,"

She doesn't even think twice before diving into his chest to hug him, his heart warms in his chest as he holds her to him, stroking her back gently.

But I knew you Dancing in your Levi's Drunk under a streetlight, I

"Cedric?" Her voice sounds shy, three days later as she approaches his large friend group as they all laugh and chat in the courtyard. His friends all make loud 'oohs' at the girl approaching their friend, knowing he has had a crush on her forever.

He jumps to his feet immediately, only making his friends tease him more. "Hey, is everything alright?" He asks, it's been two days since he found her crying and he hadn't seen her around since.

"Yeah, yeah everything is fine. I just wanted to say thank you for the other day," She smiles gently and his heart melts that she had seeked him out rather than just saying it in whatever class they next saw each other.

"Oh of course, it was nothing," He smiles

"Well, i just, sorry that I cried all over you and- I- well it's embarrassing and you were so sweet so thanks," she blushes madly under his gaze

"It's fine, if ever I can do anything just let me know. Or if you need someone to talk to, I'm always around,"

"Thanks, and the same to you of course," She smiles and he nods. Neither of them can pull their eyes away from each other until Fred and George, who are waiting a small distance away let out loud barks of laughter at their friend's clear crush. "Right, well I should get going, have a good day," She smiles politely before turning around. He isn't quite sure what comes over him when he calls out to her

"Wait!" she turns immediately at his shout "You, uh, wouldn't want to be partners on that new Care of Magical Creatures assignment would you?" They had been assigned it on the first day, and it was a partnered essay and research task on Mooncalf's due in at the end of the month.

"Yeah I'd love that,"

"Great, I'll meet you in the library. Could you do tomorrow night right after classes finish?"

"Yeah, I'll see you there," She agrees, blushing slightly as she turns to walk back to the twins. Both Cedric and Emily's friends immediately begin to tease them but when she turns back to look at him and catches him already staring after her neither of them seem to care.

I knew you Hand under my sweatshirt Baby kiss it better, right

'You know, now that we have completed this ridiculously long essay we should celebrate. Hogsmeade? this Saturday?'

He had asked so casually, like it was easy. When in reality it had taken him a week to build up the nerve. She nodded, acting like her heart wasn't hammering inside her chest.

But now, as he waits at a table in the three broomsticks, he feels more anxious than he can even explain. She walks in, smiling brightly when she sees him, sat at a table with two butterbeers, and she seems so calm it puts his jittery leg at ease.

"Hey Ced,"

"Hi darling," He grins, watching her slide into the booth seat opposite him

"Am I late? Fred forced me to go to Zonko's with him, swore it'd only be two minutes but it was a lot longer," she explains

"No, I was early is all," He smiles, pushing the drink lightly in her direction

"Thanks," She grins, planning in her head to buy the next round. "So, good day so far?"

"Made better by you," he returns, he'd expected to feel awkward and nervous but in reality something about her felt so right, so natural.

"Well of course, clearly I am the highlight of your day every time you see me," She teases lightly

"Well I'm the same for you,"

"You are," She confirms. He beams at her and her heart somersaults in her chest. "How have we only just become friends this year?" She ponders

"I don't know, it feels like I have known you forever," He smiles

"Yeah it does. I guess that's just how it is with some people,"

"You know what they call those people? Soulmates," He teases and smiles a little when her cheeks flush a bright red

"If you are my soulmate Diggory, I could do a lot worse,". It was true, she felt like he could so easily be that one person she was supposed to meet. He was natural, he was charming, he was funny, he made her feel so at ease. She never had to be someone else, never had to think for a second about what she said. Cedric just got her and it was the best thing she had ever experienced.

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed You put me on and said I was your favourite

"Ced!" She's positively beaming as she stands on Hogsmeade platform after the Christmas holiday's. Pushing her way through the crowd towards the boy and leaping into his arms, he catches her with ease, rearranging his hands a little to hold her up better, her legs wrapping around his waist. His friends pay them no mind as they walk towards the carriages knowing they will see him at dinner and he would much rather have a minute alone with her.

"What're you doing here?" he chuckles

"I missed you," she shrugs

"I missed you too, but I could have just seen you at school, you didn't have to come and pick me up from the station," He smiles at her and she blushes a little. She had spent her holiday at school with the Weasley's as Molly and Arthur were in Bulgaria with Charlie and she hadn't wanted to miss out on her friends antics.

"Yeah, but if I had done that then I would have had to wait until after the welcome back feast and it would have been ages," She explains

"Well in that case, I'm glad you came. I really missed you darling," He smiles, gently placing her back onto the ground

"I missed you too, I was actually thinking a lot when you were gone-" she admits

"That's dangerous," he teases, laughing when she gently swats his arm

"I was thinking that I think I like you, as in more than a friend. No. I know, I like you as more than a friend and I have for a while now and I just wanted you to know that I do.  You don't have to like me back and if you don't then I don-"

She's cut off when he slams his lips against hers. Pulling her flush against him. He kisses her with so much passion and longing that she doesn't doubt for a second that he likes her just as much. He smirks when he pulls away and her lips chase his to press another quick peck to them.

"I like you too, I have for an embarrassingly long amount of time, I just didn't want to rush you after what happened with Alex,"

"You could never rush me, it's you," she smiles and he feels his heart leave his body and fall right into her hands.

"So, you wanna go on a real date?" he questions, wrapping his arm around her shoulder as he begins to lead her towards the carriages back up to school.

"I would love that," She grins

"In that case, I will pick up tomorrow at 8," He announces, pressing a kiss to the top of her head as they walk.

A friend to all is a friend to none Chase two girls, lose the one When you are young, they assume you know nothing

"I have just had the most awkward interaction of my life," She announces, walking into his dorm to find him sat at his desk. She drops onto his bed as he turns to look at her

"Hi darling," He smiles

"Hey," she grins back, eyes unable to pull away from his

"None of this romantic gooey shit, what happened?" Cedric's best friend, Justin, questions from his own desk. The pair clearly having been doing work before she arrived.

"Right," she nods, pulling her eyes away from Cedric as she tugs her Gryffindor tie off her neck and settles more comfortably on his bed. "So, i'm walking with George, Fred and Lee out of detention,  planning on coming here and they were heading into town to pick up some supplies from Zonko's so we are walking, minding our own business and then out of literally no where Alex pops out,"

"As in your ex-boyfriend?" Justin question, fully immersed in her story. She glances at Cedric who's jaw is a little tight, but softens when their eyes meet.

"Yeah so he comes over and asks to talk to me, and you can imagine Lee and Fred think it's fucking hilarious and George looks ready to pummel the boy, which is nothing new he's always hated him,"

"Likes me," Cedric comments slightly cockily, he knew from the off that it was important George liked him.

"He does. So anyway, I'm like Sorry I am in a rush to meet my boyfriend, which only seems to make him want to speak to me more. So he's all like how long have you and Cedric been together and I'm like officially 2 months. And he asks like a million questions about us and then tries to invite me to Hogsmeade and I was like obviously not, at this point George hits him and then we just kinda ran away. It was just very uncomfy and awkward,"

Cedric looks like he is absolutely fuming, Justin on the other hand is laughing at the awkward situation. Cedric is, of course, glad that she immediately told him but was ready to hunt the stupid boy down and finish what George started. He stands up to do just that but stops when she grabs his hand and pulls him to sit next to her, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He sighs, his thumb stroking the back of her hand, knowing that she's asking him to leave it be.

But I knew you Playing hide-and-seek and Giving me your weekends

"Hey, do you guys know where y/n is?" Cedric questions Angelina and Lee when he sees them sat in the library

"Thought she was with you," Angelina shrugs, looking to Lee who looks equally surprised to see Cedric without his girlfriend wrapped in his arm

"She was, we were playing hide and seek but it's been like forty minutes and I can't find her,"

"She'll be in the broom cupboard next to Filch's office. She always hides there when we play," Lee comments

"Great, thanks," with a grin Cedric disappears out of the library and in the direction of Filch's office. He sends polite smiles and waves to friends he passes but doesn't stop for a chat, missing his girl's presence and wanting her back by his side.

He arrives at the cupboard, pulling the door open and stepping in. It was a deep cupboard filled with clutter and her giggle sounds through the air when he trips on a bucket, hand reaching out from the darkness to steady him.

He  reaches out and pulls her into his chest, arms wrapping around her and pulling her into him.

"Found you,"

"Took your precious time," she smirks,

"It's a big castle," He reminds, pressing his lips down onto hers, she kisses back immediately, arms looping around his neck as his grip her waist, tucking slightly under the jumper she's wearing that clearly belongs to him and is too big for her, his thumb stroking gently on the skin of her hips.

She pulls away, breathless and grinning up at him and if he had thought he was in love before he was certain of it now. When she looked so pure, so beautiful, so ethereal how could he not be? the truth was he had been falling for her since first year but his five months with her made it all the more real. He wasn't just in love with an idealistic version of her he had made up in his head, it was the real her. The her that only he knew.

"Which of my friends told you?"

"You underestimate my seeking skills," He feigns offence, and she laughs at his dramatics

"It was Angelina right? The boys would never help you cheat,"

"It was. Now, given I've found you I think I am entitled to a reward, winners choice," He smirks and she grins brightly

"At what might that be?"

"Cuddles," He announces

"We need to study," she counters

"Nope, not on a weekend. Cuddle me in my dorm please. You can't say no, I found you," He grins, he knows though, that she wouldn't say no anyway.

I, I knew you Your heartbeat on the High Line Once in twenty lifetimes, I

They lay under the stars in the astronomy tower Cedric was certain that this, this very moment, was the highlight of his life. When all was said and done she would be it. She would be what made it all worth it.

"You okay?" She asks, nudging her head into his chest gently as she lay on him

"I'm perfect. Are you?" he questions, looking down at her laid on her front between his legs, arms wrapped around his waist and head on his chest

"I am," she grins, moving her head to rest her chin on his chest and look up at him "you're quiet," she comments

"I'm thinking," He returns gently, eyes holding hers and arms wrapping around her, holding her tightly too him

"and here I was thinking you were just a pretty boy," she teases, he laughs and she would swear on anything that lit up by the moonlight Cedric Diggory was a god amongst men. "So pretty boy, what are you thinking about?"

"You," he grins

"Nothing new," she jokes, he rolls his eyes but says nothing, after all she isn't wrong.

"Do you think everyone gets to feel like this?" he questions, she tilts her head to the side silently asking him to explain what he means. "I just- it sounds crazy but this feels so much bigger than just love. Like I can't even describe, it doesn't even feel once in a lifetime it feels once in a million lives. I can't put into words how I feel for you, I more than love you, I so much more than love you,"

"I so much more than love you too," She smiles, leaning up to press her lips against his, he kisses back and it's so soft and so gentle yet somehow needy and passionate all at once. Every kiss they share felt amazing but they would both swear that was the best.  "And no, I don't think everyone gets this, I think we are incredibly lucky to have found each other,"

He smiles pulling her closer to him pressing a kiss to the top of her head and his heart has never been more full.

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed You put me on and said I was your favourite

"So, tell me how your summer was?" She grins at him as they make their way down the train in search of her friend's compartment

"I was with you for most of it," He teases. They had spent the first two weeks at her house and then second two at his before she had gone to spend the final two at the burrow.

"I haven't seen you in 14 whole days Ced," she reminds

"My life is entirely boring without my favourite person," he smiles, chuckling at the blush that overtakes her cheeks. She presses a kiss to his cheek before pulling open the compartment door

"There they are, we were starting to think you were never coming," Angelina smiles, jumping up from her seat to pull her friend into a hug

"Sorry, we got caught up talking to Justin," The girl explains

"Ah, so that's what the kids are calling it," Fred jokes, laughing at the bright blush that over takes both of their faces. "Well, I was kidding but-"

"Shut up Fred!" She groans, dropping into a seat as Cedric settles down next to her, talking happily with George about their summer breaks.

To kiss in cars and downtown bars Was all we needed You drew stars around my scars But now I'm bleeding

Their fifth year passes insanely quickly. It's full of laughter and happiness. They don't have drama like most of their friends in relationships, they understand each other on such a level that truly there's no need to argue because no matter what the other does they understand. Understand exactly why the other has behaved in the way that they had so there was no point in getting mad.

From trips to Hogsmeade, parties, studying and evenings in the prefects bathroom they saw each other every day. Adopting each other's friends as their own. All they needed was each other and they were having a good time. They were connected at their very cores and the whole school seemed to know it.

"Okay, never have I ever lost my virginity in the prefects bathroom," Angelina smirks, the Gryffindor friends are sat around the boys dorms with bottles of fire whiskey on the final evening of term, joined as was common now, by Cedric and Justin.

Cedric sits next to her, his hand resting on her thigh and her head on his shoulder as they both blush a little before drinking.

"You told me it was in your dorm cause you were classy!" Lee exclaims, pointing at her with wide eyes.

"If you believed she was classy it's on you Lee," Fred teases, laughing loudly when she launches a pillow across the room and it hit's him with ease.

"Never have I ever said I love you just to get laid," Justin states, smirking when both Fred and Lee take sips of the drinks.

"Mum will be disappointed," George teases

"Would be, will makes it sound like you plan on telling her,"

"I'll have it up my sleeve for if I need to redirect the rath on someone else,"

"Hey, we always put it on Ron," Fred whines, the rest of the group laughing as they didn't doubt for a second that was true.

"Never have I ever skinny dipped in the black lake," George grins, the group erupting in laughter when Fred drinks

"Okay 1 it was a dare and 2 you aren't allowed to target people, in this game"

"Oh, because never have I ever accidentally grabbed the wrong person's hand wasn't targeted," George quips back.

'Cause I knew you Stepping on the last train Marked me like a bloodstain, I

"I just think that you're being stupid," she admits, she is sat cross legged on his bed as he paces his dorm

"This is something I really want to do, it means a lot to me. The money could really help my family out and I really think this is something I could excel in," Cedric explains, he isn't mad. He knew  that she was only concerned because she cared and therefore he would never be mad at her for it, he also knew she loved and supported him unconditionally and that wether she agrees with him or not that wouldn't waver.

"It's reckless Ced, people die in this tournament and I just hate the idea of you doing this cause all your friends have told you how cool it'll be and something happens to you,"

"Hey, nothing will happen to me. I'm not stupid and I know my own limits, you can pull out of any round at any time and if I think I can't do it I won't stay in a dangerous situation," he assures her, sitting down next to her and taking her hands in his.

"I know, I just want you safe,"

"Darling, you don't have to worry for a second. I promised you forever and I am going to give you it," he assures her, pulling her hands to his mouth and pressing kisses on her knuckles.

"Okay. If it means a lot to you then obviously I support you, just promise me you aren't going anywhere,"

"I promise," He agrees.

And so, with his friends behind them and wrapped up in his arms, his promise of forever fresh in her mind she goes with him to drop his name into the goblet of fire, pushing away the feeling in her gut that this was the worst mistake they'd ever make.

I knew you Tried to change the ending Peter losing Wendy

Cedric feels his breath stop when he sees her. She looks like an angel, standing at the top of the stairs beaming down at him. The pale blue satin of her dress pooling delicately around her feet and her hair curled and pinned back.

"You look so beautiful," he smiles as she reaches for his arm at the bottom of the stairs

"So do you," She smiles, and she meant it, in his black dress robes she wonders how she's supposed to breathe when he looks so good. "Ced?"

"Yes, darling?" he looks down at her as they stand in the line with the other victors. His smile so pure and delicate and a look of adoration in his eyes, not one person looking at them would question the love he held for her.

"These heels are really high, please don't let me trip and fall and make an idiot of myself,"

"I've got you darling, I promise," he smiles, pressing a kiss to the side of her head as the doors swing open and along with the rest of the victors and their dates they parade to the dance floor.

And he did have her. They danced and he made sure she was okay the whole time. They danced the whole night, wether the song was fast or slow, they were attached in someway and staring at each other so purely and utterly in love. It was the best night of either of their lives and although they didn't say it, both of them thought as they slow danced about the day they would get to do this at their wedding.

I, I knew you Leaving like a father Running like water, I When you are young, they assume you know nothing

Cedric is panting and red from the cold water as he collapses onto the platform, having pushed her onto it first. He feels for the first time since he saw her floating lifeless at the bottom of the lake that he can breathe again as he sees her appear fine.

He blocks out the screaming crowds, his victory although exciting, nowhere near as important to him as the girl.

She however, seems utterly over the moon, pouncing on him and tackling him on the pier in the tightest hug he'd ever received.

"You did it Ced! You won!" She grins brightly, he's vaguely aware of the twins wrapping them both in towels but doesn't care. Nothing else in the world matters as he grabs her face in his hands, pressing his lips to hers and the whole world floats away, and it's just her and him.

She pulls away eventually, seemingly remembering the crowd's of people watching, he doesn't care though, wrapping his arm around her as his friend's push through the crowds to congratulate him. He doesn't let go of his grip on her for even a second, he wanted her to be a part of this, without her he could never have won, seeing her lifeless and floating had triggered something in him he didn't even know existed. He'd have done whatever it took to save her.

but I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs The smell of smoke would hang around this long 'Cause I knew everything when I was young

The day of the last trial she woke up with a gut feeling something bad was going to happen. She said nothing though, not wanting to panic Cedric.

She woke up wrapped in his arms and she almost asked him to stay in bed for just five more minutes. Just to hold her for a little while longer, looking back she would always regret not asking for that. Instead, she had sat wrapped in his duvet, watching as he got ready and listening patiently as he spoke, muttering every spell he could think of in a mindless preparation, no idea what he would actually need when he started.

She sat next to him at breakfast, holding his hand under the table in an attempt to calm him down, he was trying to act confident for his excited friends but she saw right through it. She only left his side for a brief moment all morning, to wish Harry Potter, a young boy she knew well due to her close relationship with the Weasley's, good luck.

"You should go and meet your dad to walk to the victor's area," she speaks softly, they're in an empty corridor, wanting a moment of privacy.

"You'll be down there?" he questions

"Of course I will," she assures. He nods, wrapping his arms around her waist as hers wrap around his neck. He nestles his face in her as her fingers comb gently through his hair.

"I'm scared," he whispers

"I know," she replies gently, pulling away only enough to look him in the eyes "Whatever happens, wether you come first or drop out after a minute, I am so beyond proud of you Ced,"

"Thankyou," He hums gently

"You be safe alright, you promised me forever,"

"I never break my promises," he assures her, his lips find hers in a final passionate kiss.

"I so much more than love you," she whispers against him

"I so much more than love you," he returns, pressing a quick peck to her lips, squeezing her tight one last time before letting go.

She sits next to George, her leg bouncing and hands shaking as she leans on his shoulder. She watches as he talks to his dad. It feels like the world is going in slow motion as he stands outside the entrance to the maze, eyes scanning the crowd until they fall on her. She can see from a mile away that he seems to ease slightly at the sight of her, sending her a smile before turning and entering the maze.

I knew I'd curse you for the longest time Chasing shadows in the grocery line I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired And you'd be standing in my front porch light

She knew she would never forget the moment it happened. The pure joy and adrenaline, the excitement because he had won. Cedric had won. Followed by the panic, because he isn't moving and why isn't he moving? why is Harry crying and-

The world stopped. Right there. Right then. The world stops spinning on it's axis.

She would never forget the feeling of George's hands pulling her back and into his chest, refusing to let her turn and see it. See his limp body on the ground and lifeless. She'd never forget the sound of Amos's cries. She would never forget Harry's screams.

Her very world stopped.

She couldn't breathe. She couldn't move. She couldn't speak.

George Weasley would never forget the moment either. The ache in his chest that his friend had died. The sound of her sobs, so guttural and heart wrenching that they take over her whole body.  The feeling of his best friend shaking in his arms and the pained scream that leaves her mouth.

She was vaguely aware of the feeling of George lifting her off the ground and carrying her away from the crowds. Vaguely aware of him placing her on her bed. Without thinking she moved to grab one of Cedric's jumpers from her wardrobe, crying even harder when his smell takes over her as she pulls it on, dropping to her knees unable to even stand. George drops down next to her, pulling her into his chest in a tight hug as she cries into his chest.

And I knew you'd come back to me You'd come back to me And you'd come back to me And you'd come back

George Weasley had felt his heart drop when he had read the letter from his old head of house, a desperate plea to come to the school immediately and he had dropped everything to do just that.

His best friend was never the same after Cedric. Not even 10 years after at the age of 27. He wasn't who he used to be either, he had lost his second half. But he worried more for her. Her smile hadn't met her eyes since she was 17. He hadn't heard her laugh since she was 17.

Despite it all she never spoke to George, to anyone, about it. She left a room when he was mentioned. She refused to open up. It was clear even now he was the only thing she thought about. She refused though, to talk about him.

She hadn't dated again until she was 25, settling for a quiet boy who didn't get the chance to fall in love with her, because truly she wasn't her. She was numb, a shadow of herself and he didn't even know it.

As George pushed open the door to the prefects bathroom, he knew it would be another moment he would never forget. Like her scream, his Fred's body on the ground, like Angelina telling him we would be a father.

She was sat, fully clothed, in the large bubble bath. Silent tears streamed down her face and George could only describe the look on her face as numb.

"He proposed," She announces. George doesn't know how to react. He knew she would never fall in love again, that in reality she would never want this. Because it wasn't him.

"What did you say?"

"No," She whispers out, George lets out a sigh, he doesn't think twice as he climbs into the water next to her, ignoring that it's ruining his suit as he pulls her into him.

"George, I can't do this. He promised me forever, it was supposed to be him," She's crying into his shoulder and George knows nothing he says will take the pain away. "He was the love of my life. I didn't just love him, it was more than that. It wasn't once in a lifetime it was different it was special it was-" she cuts herself off, not knowing the words to describe it. She had never needed them before, Cedric had known without her having to say.

"I know. We all know. Everyone could see it,"

"I know what people must think. He was my high school boyfriend and I should move on but Georgie- I can't. It was him and it is him and he promised he would come back,"

"No one thinks that. You were young but the heavens know you were in love,"

"He was everything. He still is. He always will be,"

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed

You put me on and said I was your favourite

**

Masterlist

[stxrshxpxd]

professor x 90s!damon

Pairing: 90s damon albarn x reader

Word count: 2.521

Warnings: smut (professor x adult student)

* * *

It had all begun last week. My english professor had asked me to stay behind after his class to discuss the ever-decreasing quality in my essays over the past few weeks. I had fallen into a rant about my personal life and family relations and everything that had been distracting me. I must’ve come off as extremely unstable (and desperate to not lose my high grade in his glass), and Damon must’ve nodded understandingly and hummed quietly about a hundred times. Nothing out of the ordinary had happened between us, but it was nearing winter so the sun had begun to set while we sat in his classroom that afternoon. It had felt inappropriate to see him in that lighting. He had looked so beautiful with the last rays of sunlight laid across his face. He’d always had a soft and deep voice but I had never before heard it speak so quietly and in such an empty room.

I had had several dreams about him ever since that long talk, some less appropriate than others. I was happy I had an excuse to look at him for hours on end, seeing as he was the professor. But I realised at the end of class that I had barely taken any notes, except all the mental ones I had made about Damon’s body and its language. How he caressed his jaw with his entire hand, how he licked his lips every other minute, how he toyed with the golden ring on his left index finger when he listened to a student answer a question, and how his eyes lit up when one of his favourite authors were brought up in discussions.

He couldn’t have been more than a couple years older than me. I knew he had just graduated from uni a year prior to taking this teaching position. He was maybe 26 or 27 years old, I speculated in my head as I was packing up my textbook and closing my untouched notebook. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts about this man’s age that he had to call on me twice before I heard him. I dropped my books on my desk and looked up through attentive eyes and a tensed jaw.

“Yes?”

“Can I have a little chat with you?”

I nodded, still frozen in my seat. The last few students exited the classroom and then we were alone again in the uncomfortable silence.

“What happened to trying harder to focus in class?” he asked in a kind voice from behind a soft smile. His head was tilted down and to the side and his eyebrows were raised. It was a playful remark. He had obviously noticed my vacant stares and how I had only ever picked up my pencil to gnaw at the end of it and then eventually put it back down.

“I don’t know,” I squeaked. It made me frustrated. I was never this modest in my dreams. But Damon was standing on the other side of my desk with his fingertips sitting on the edge of it, and I felt so small in my seat.

“Is it still your family?” he asked carefully but there was a bit of something else in his voice. I didn’t trust myself to read him correctly, as I was heavily influenced by the part of me that was already mentally undressing him. His white button up shirt with rolled up sleeves, the dark blue tie, the black trousers and the dark brown belt that hugged his hips snugly. All of it was on the floor in my head before I answered.

“Yeah..” I said quietly. It almost came out as a question. I was confused with the whole situation and didn’t know if the sexual tension was just in my head.

“Are you sure?” Damon asked tilting his head back to expose his jaw for a second or two before he turned around and headed back to his desk, letting his fingertips linger for a moment on my desk before they slipped off and left with the rest of him.

“Sir..” I began while not knowing where I was going with my sentence. Neither did I have any idea why I had just called him ‘sir’. No one called the professors ‘sir’ or ‘ma’am’ at my university. Damon and I were both equally as shocked at my utterance. He turned around with two raised brows and his hands shoved in his pockets as he leaned back to sit on the edge of his desk. He couldn’t help but smile in a sort of mischievous way. I almost trusted my intuition regarding his emotions now, but after my last line I was unsure if I was ever going to let myself speak to him again.

Damon looked down and broke into a small laugh. It almost looked like he was blushing.

“Sorry,” he chuckled under his breath, flustered. His voice cracked slightly but it was equally as deep as always.

“What are you thinking about?” I asked, leaning in over my desk. I suddenly felt brave. Damon shook his head and forcefully wiped his smile off his face.

“...Nothing,” he said. He tensed his jaw and his jaw muscles were very prominent for a moment before he untensed them again. My breath became shaky and artificially deep to keep myself from fainting. I was sure my cheeks were red now as I was back to undressing him in my mind. I enjoyed the part where I imagined him slowly unbuttoning his shirt the best. I had played that scene in various different settings and scenarios many times in my head.

“Are you sure?” I repeated his own question from earlier.

A long moment of eye contact ensued. To my surprise I wasn’t the first one to look away. Damon tilted his head up again and studied the ceiling for a second, and then looked down again.

“What are you thinking about?” he asked the question back at me. It was getting a bit juvenile and ridiculous at this point, but I was still too scared to say it out loud.

“I can’t tell you.”

“Can’t tell me specifically, or can’t tell anyone?”

“You specifically.”

Everything was about as quiet as a classroom could be between our short lines. I was still leaning forward over my desk and my arms were crossed under my chest. I caught him stealing one short glance of said chest.

“Why?”

He was trying to stay professional. I was trying to stay out of the sexual gutter in my head that was toxifying our conversation and clouding my judgement.

“It’s about you.”

“Figured,” he chuckled and nodded at my, rather obvious at this point, confession. He looked down at his shoes and moved his feet awkwardly as he pondered.

“What’s the best that could happen if you tell me?” Damon asked as he turned his head up again to look at me.

I was caught off guard by his unusual question. I felt frozen in my seat but on the verge of sweating at the same time as another scene played out in my head. Damon’s hands on my wrists pinning me to the top of his desk and his hips crashing into mine at a slow controlled pace and his dirty words spilling out from his mouth to cover my body. Best case scenario.

I realised I was the one smiling mischievously now. I stopped immediately but he had already seen and studied my grin in detail. He gave one in return and narrowed his eyes.

“Go on,” he egged me on to answer his question. There was not much professionalism left in him now.

“Best case scenario…” I began and I finally moved. I sank  down in my seat a bit and nervously played with my pencil.

“We, um..”

We fuck on your desk, sir.

“We?” Damon asked. I had lost all my previous bravery and couldn’t look him in the eyes any longer.

“We...  well, you-”

“What, y/n?”

He was getting impatient now. The last thing I wanted was for him to give up on me and let the whole thing go. So, I said it.

“We-we sleep together. Like, sex. On top of your desk maybe.”

Every single muscle in my body was tensed and my gaze turned as far away from Damon’s as possible. But I heard him laugh quietly, which made me want to look up. His smile was one of the prettiest smiles I had ever seen.

“Come here then.”

Now I looked up. I didn’t just look up. I snapped my head up and straightened my posture all in one nervous swift movement.

“Sorry?” I asked.

“I figured that was the case, what with all the staring. None of the other students look at me like you do.”

He was in complete control of the situation now and wasn’t blushing like before.

“No one calls me sir either,” he joked and walked up closer to me. My lips were dry and I had to lick them several times before I could speak.

“Did you like it?” I asked quietly, shying away from his eye contact once again.

“I think you could tell I liked it.”

I mustered up all the strength I had in me to stand up. He was closer than I had imagined and his breath was tickling my face now. I licked my lips a few more times. His hand caressed my cheek and then he tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. I was suddenly aware of the fact I couldn’t recall us ever having touched before. Then we did, a lot. His lips touched mine, his right hand touched the side of my neck, his chest almost touched mine, his left fingertips touched my waist, and my fingers nervously touched the sides of his torso.

He was warm and his hands felt like how his voice sounded. They slid down my side and held my waist as he backed me up towards his desk. The rational part of my brain had never thought this would ever happen, but I was indeed sitting on the edge of his desk with Damon’s hips between my legs.

“Tell me what you want me to do to you again,” he ordered.

“I want you to fuck me, sir.”

He grinned into our kiss as I called him by his new favourite nickname. I almost lost my ability to speak when he unzipped my jeans and then stuck his hand inside.

“How many times have you touched yourself thinking about me?” Damon asked in a pleased growl as he felt the outside of my wet underwear. I whimpered and grabbed a hold of his surprisingly strong biceps. He was skinny but clearly muscular under his white button-up. He began to help me wriggle out of my jeans.

“Too many times,” I admitted with a pair of blushing cheeks. Damon left a whisper in my ear and then backed a step or two away from me.

“Show me how.”

It made me nervous to look at him as he was unbuttoning his shirt, exactly like how I had imagined, as he stood and watched me rub circles around my clit. I eventually couldn’t hold myself up any longer. My back was resting on his desk and I wasn’t left alone for much longer. When I opened my eyes Damon’s face and bare shoulders was the only thing I saw. He had never looked prettier or hotter. His small stubbly hairs, the gorgeous colour in his eyes, his adorable nose and the sharp breaths that escaped it to fall on my face.

He pulled my hand out of my underwear and before he pinned it to his desk he stuck my middle and ring finger into his mouth. He sucked them clean and smiled devilishly.

“You taste lovely,” he purred and I choked on my own breath. I could’ve never imagined just how giddy it would actually make me feel to hear him talk like this.

Damon moved my pants to the side and pushed two of his fingers inside me. I could feel the cold metal of his ring in contrast to my warmth and stickiness.

“Fuck… Sir, please,” I whimpered. I wanted to see everything he was doing but it was hard to keep from screwing my eyes shut every time he curled his long fingers inside me.

“What do you want, darling?”

“Your cock. Inside me. Now. Please.”

My breaths were sharp and every single one was cut short by the next one.

“Oh, you sound so sexy when you beg.”

His voice only seemed to grow deeper and more gravelly with every moment that passed. And just like that I couldn’t think of anything other than the sensation of his cock pushing into me. He felt massive, and I realised he was indeed massive when I crunched up to look down on our bodies. He was only just halfway inside me, but with every thrust he went deeper and deeper and all I could do was moan and whimper and squirm under him.

Damon’s eyes met mine and he smirked before he clasped his hand around my throat and forced me down to lay on my back again. He accidentally smashed the back of my head quite violently against the wooden surface.

“Oh God, sorry,” he gushed under his breath and I laughed lightly. Damon leaned forward to leave a few gentle kisses on the side of my neck.

“It’s okay,” I chuckled, my heart growing soft for his affectionate side. The softness didn’t last long though, as he was soon growling and breathing heavily again.

“You feel so fucking good,” he sighed into my neck.

Damon’s hand slid up inside my top and then yanked my bra down to expose my breasts to his mouth. He began kissing harshly around my nipples and then sucked at my right one.

I clawed my nails into his sturdy back as I felt all my insides tense up and tingle with excitement.

“Damon, sir, I’m so close,” I squirmed in a small voice. I felt him smile and hum against the skin on my chest, sending amazing little vibrations throughout my body that affected me more than I could’ve ever imagined. Finally I was brought over the edge and Damon pressed his lips against mine again. I moaned into his mouth and he kept kissing me sloppily as I came down from my high and Damon’s was just around the corner.

“Fuck,” he mumbled into the kiss and then pulled away from me. He pulled out and pressed his throbbing head against my lower stomach and I watched him in awe as he spilled out over my stomach.

Damon breathed heavily and I sat up to pick his head up. I pulled my fingers through his short dirty blonde fringe and we melted into a kiss again as my hand fell to rest on the back of his neck.

“We’re definitely gonna have to do this again,” Damon sighed with a smile.

[karliesbuzzcut]

(100) Million Dollar Lawsuit

Intro | part1 | part2 | part3 | part4

We are on the last chapter (for now) and this the most chaotic one. Mainly because it doesn’t follow any kind of chronological order (or logical sense), it’s just Russ going in circles for literal years.

But I’ll try my best to condense it for you, so all you need to do is to keep your seat belt fastened until the aircraft stops completely.

Right after the failed Ari lawsuit, Russ goes back to his one and only love: Taylor Swift 💫 And he has learned a lesson — not a good lesson, mind you, but a lesson: small claims courts won’t take him anywhere. If he really wants to punish women for not complimenting his suit, he will have to file a multi-million dollar federal lawsuit.

But, since denying sex from The Russell isn’t illegal (yet), he had to come at it from a different angle. I’m going to give Russ a chance to explain himself first.

Before you ask: yes, the following was Russell’s response to a woman thanking Taylor for visiting an 8 year-old girl who was very badly burned in an accident.

As I’ve always said, it’s okay if you aren’t fluent in Bullshit. That’s what I’m here for.

You see, Russell views human interactions as a series of transactions: I make a tweet worth liking, you go on a date with me; I take you to Olive Garden, you give me a handie for free; I put on a suit, you hug me and smile; I write you a song and sue you, you produce said song. Whenever women don’t fulfil their side of the deal, he becomes enraged.

But the reason he has such a strong hate-boner for Tay, is because she seemed to also follow his same ‘moral code’. A kid makes a cute video, she visits them at the hospital. A fan writes her a letter inviting her to their wedding, she goes to the wedding. A couple of kids fold 1989 paper cranes for Andrea, Taylor invites them to one of her concerts.

Russ thought “this is a done deal”. He didn’t write that song for Taylor because he particular liked her; he just thought she’d be the most likely artist to produce it — or at least acknowledge his existence.

I mentioned before that Russ wrote a whole-ass book about this. And I think it’s as good a time as any to talk about it. For a short amount of time, Russell chilled out about the ✨100 million dollar lawsuit ✨ but my guess is that he thought his book would get him the same results as a lawsuit? To be fair, the book is fantastic. 5/5, would recommend. 

He details the harassment he went through after suing Taylor Swift (the first time). Apparently old ladies at coffee shops would scream at him because he dared to sue Our Queen. A Mexican even pointed a gun at him (it wasn’t me, guys! Just a fellow countryman ❤️) and ordered Russ to drop the lawsuit. Computers at his job caught on literal fire because he was sent very powerful viruses. His friend Ken — who definitely exists! — was hit with a Molotov cocktail. Yep. 2016 was definitely the year people were willing to murder for Taylor Swift.

There’s also this brilliant dream sequence that involves an owl with the voice of Morgan Freeman, and Taylor’s agents guarding a tower in which she’s being held captive. 

ALSO ALSO: an entire chapter is called “SHE CHOSE HIM OVER ME”. Taylor Swift chose Joe Alwyn — a man she actually knows — over a man she’s not even aware exists. Women, amiright?

I think Russell would enjoy the Kaylor community to a certain extent. Not the lesbian part, obviously: he doesn’t trust women who don’t want to touch his peen. I just mean the baseless hatred of Joe. Look, I made a little collage of his rants ❤️ tell me if any of this sounds familiar!

You know — I’ve been joking around a lot about Russell just wanting to do the nasty with Taylor. But you know me, I like joking around. In reality Russ only wants what is fair. He wants to put a stop to all these senseless acts of kindness perpetrated by Taylor ‘The Generous’ Swift.

This isn’t about him at all, actually. Shame on you for thinking there’s an ounce of greed in that selfless little body of his. HE’S DOING THIS TO PROTECT THE KIDS WITH CANCER!

There are no ulterior motives here! This isn’t about a date!

THIS IS NOT ABOUT A DATE AT ALL GUYS STOP SAYING THAT.

I think this is my favourite post of his, because– grammatically speaking –he doesn’t specify which of them is wearing the red dress. And that sends me every goddamn time.

Anyway. The book, as magnificent as it was, got him absolutely nowhere. I know, I can’t believe it either. So he went back to focus on his lawsuit. But apparently not enough, because he didn’t serve her properly..? Now, don’t expect me to understand this, because I am very stupid (so it’s quite a good thing that I haven’t sued anybody for millions of dollars) but something about him sending the lawsuit to her old legal team..? And then trying to force UPS to serve her? I think he even said he was going to serve her in the middle of one of her concerts... but I’m guessing that didn’t go as planned 🤷‍♀️ oops.

Of course, Russie wouldn’t allow such an anticlimactic ending. Can you guess what he did? Please tell me that you can guess what he did. HE MADE ANOTHER SONG 😭❤️

This one is called ‘I Don’t Get You, Taylor Swift’. Another masterpiece that we definitely didn’t deserve 🙌

undefined

This was around April, 2019. By then I was being lured away by Kaylors, so I broke it off with Russ. I know that he filed a 3rd lawsuit against Taylor last year, which is just like the second one but hopefully this time he’ll be able to serve. And listen— I know that sounds like an awful thing to wish on Taylor, but I’d rather have Russell occupied suing a rich woman (who isn’t even going to deal with him), than a poor sex worker in Nevada. I bet TayTay would prefer that too.

Well guys, I’ve mentioned this a few times already, but I really had to be selective with the amount of information I was going to throw at you. I’ve avoided some of the shittier stuff he said or did, because I wanted to keep these posts as lighthearted as possible. I also didn’t touch on many things because they would just derail us. Like for example: one of the few lawsuits he has filed against someone who isn’t a woman, was against the state of Utah. I know, right? He’s trying to singlehandedly legalise prostitution in Utah, and even wrote a book (more like a pamphlet) brilliantly titled ‘Why I'm Making It Legal for Your 18 Year Old Daughter to Get In Bed with a Complete Stranger for Only 500 Bucks: A Short Essay from a Pro Se Litigant who is Challenging the Utah Brothel Bans’.

I copy-pasted that title guys, I swear to god.

The book is very graphic. This one I certainly do not recommend as I still suffer nightmares because of it.

Soren is a character who also had to be cut out — which is a shame because he really tried to be a good christian and help Russell. Not as in “I support you, Russell” but as in “why don’t you take a nap, Russell”. Turns out, even cinnamon rolls have a limit. Russ, of course, blames Taylor Swift for the fact that he’s losing his friends. I’m not joking — it’s an article in his lawsuit:

Greer has lost family relationships, friend connections and business connections because of the trauma of Taylor Swift. His family tells him to "get over it," resulting in shouting matches and strained relationships. Greer's friends get annoyed by his focusing on the trauma of it, when nobody knows the pain of getting rejected by a public figure — twice — and the fallout that has resulted from it.

Russell embodies that comic/meme of the little guy who puts a stick in his bicycle’s wheels and then blames Taylor Swift when he inevitably falls.

Sooooo...

Maybe someday I’ll write a post about Russ’ latest antics. I know he still posts stupid stuff on Facebook, which he later deletes. He shined especially bright at the peak of the BLM movement. He also plead guilty to electronic communications harassment— did you see that conviction coming? Yes, yes you did 😌

Regarding Taylor, I read that Russ knew someone who knew Todrick Hall — and Russ sent him a song and video for Taylor. All he got back was a Cease and Desist letter. But I’d have to do a bit of digging to get the details. I was already so overwhelmed with organising the information I was previously aware of, that I decided to leave the newer stuff for another time. You know, once I’ve had some time to inform myself... as well as a really long shower.

Since I left so much shit out, I’ll be taking questions if you have any. And if you can muster the courage to ask them. I’m weirdly proud of being some kind of Russell encyclopaedia. I might not have much going for me...

There’s no ‘but’ — that was the complete statement.

Before I go, I wanted to add this screenshot. I absolutely love it because it summarises ✨The Russell Experience✨. Russ wants Taylor to know pain, poverty and punishment. But when asked “why?” his answer is just “oh, I was ignored lol”

*none of the screenshots are mine

[kulaykape]

Ina Kingsley x MC: Words of Affirmation

A lil mini series idea that I came up with, concerning of the 'five love languages'. Bae doesn't have any fic on here, so imma fix that.

I'm tired of my problematic and bitchy MC, so she's been canceled in favor of my OC, Aliyah Diaz. For the sake of the story, Ali is actually a decent person.

Hope you enjoy!

•••

When Aliyah came around the corner, she could start to hear the murmurs of someone's rage coming from Ina's office. And at first, she considered anyone but the Professor herself. Because why would she? There were maybe two people Ali knew more mellow than Ina, and Ali had only spoken to them while they were on weed.

But as she got closer, Aliyah realized that those murmurs were awfully reminiscent of Ina's low timbre.

"…of factuality?!" Ina practically bellowed. Aliyah stopped in her tracks, and she had a 'sorry, Professor' halfway up her throat before remembering she wasn't the one being yelled at. "…are you- no, I'm not raising my voice," Ina continued, raising her voice.

Aliyah paused outside the door, resting her hand on the surface. She chewed the inside of her cheek pensively and looked down at the takeout bag in her hand. Would the food be considered thoughtful or a nuisance in this very moment?

She decided on trying to her luck. With a quick silent prayer to the big man, Aliyah rapped on the door twice before coming in.

"-for months. Forgive me if this isn't something that I'm willing to sweep under the rug!" Ina exclaimed. Her back was turned to Aliyah as she stared vengefully at her bookcase, fist resting firmly against her hip.

"Uh, Professor?" Aliyah called softly.

Ina turned profile as she paced- or stomped- around. Her lip pouted out in extreme agitation, and her brow furrowed with a vengeance. Aliyah likened her to an angry pitbull puppy. Still, she didn't notice her TA. "I don't see your point at all, practically to the extent that I don't think you so much as read my article," Ina continued to rant.

"Professor," Aliyah called nervously. Maybe she should leave the food on the floor and run…?

Ina's heels clicked on the floor as she stopped, and whirled around on Aliyah. In spite of the good ten feet between them, Aliyah still flinched back because holy shit, she had never seen Ina Kingsley look so livid.

And yet in spite of the horror movie type of fear she'd just inflicted, Ina's eyes still didn't seem to register Aliyah's presence.

"I'm not- would it not be a fair assumption?" Ina demanded, squeezing her hands into fists. She walked around her desk, breezing by Aliyah, and flopped down into an armchair by the coffee table.

"Professor Kingsley," Aliyah called more firmly this time. She didn't know if Ina was shaking her head at her or the poor sap on the other end of the line when she did. Aliyah let out a sigh when she figured it was the latter.

"I- fine then! Call me tomorrow, when you've had time to come to a more intelligent conclusion!" Ina exclaimed, throwing her hands up before ending the call and nearly yeeting her phone across the room.

The Professor let out a sigh as she laid back in the armchair, pinching the bridge of her nose. She started when she heard some shifting behind her and whipped her head over her shoulder.

"Aliyah!" A blush crept up the back of her neck. Judging by the look on the younger woman's face, there was no way she didn't just hear her tirade. "How… how long have you been here?"

Aliyah shot Ina a grin as she moved to sit adjacent to her. "Long enough to catch the end of your reality tv episode," she replied. Ina let out a groan, pushing her palms up against her face. Aliyah dropped the bag on the table and made her way over to Ina with a laugh. "Hey, don't do that," she coaxed, "Lame joke, I'm sorry. Is everything alright?"

"Everything couldn't be further from alright," Ina replied, running her hands through her hair.

Was this a breakdown? Had she had a breakdown since grad school? Should she ask Aliyah what a breakdown should feel like? (I mean, she is a college student)

"I still have several dozen essays to grade, there's a faculty meeting at 6 in the morning tomorrow, and my publisher is being an absolute ass," Ina grumbled.

"Alright, alright, slow down," Aliyah patted Ina's shoulder hesitantly. Was this professional enough? Judging by how Professor Professionalism not so subtly leaned into her hand, it didn't matter. "You've got the best TA on campus, I'll get those essays done," Aliyah said with a grin.

Ina dared look up from the little prison she'd made for her eyes with her hands. "It's not your bur-"

"Not my burden? Yeah, I think I'm getting compensated for it to be my burden, teach," Aliyah retorted swiftly, "And it's only 6:30. If we finish early enough, you won't have to drag your ass tired as hell into that meeting."

The tiniest smile poked at Ina's lips. "You shouldn't use that language around the Professor you're TA'ing for, Miss Diaz," she said.

"I've yet to have been struck down by lightning," Aliyah replied, arms splayed out like Jesus or something . Ina let out a small chuckle before turning her gaze back to the floor. "So what's up with your publisher?" Aliyah asked as she sat back down.

A growl made its way up Ina's throat. She picked up a thin stack of papers from the coffee table, and stared unappreciatively at them. "We were arguing about publishing my next article," she replied as she flipped through the pages.

Aliyah took it gently from her hands and adjusted her glasses before starting to skim through it. "Wait, this is your 'Egoism of the Collegiate Bourgeoise' article!" Aliyah exclaimed. Ina nodded. "But… this is the most solid one you've written this year!" Aliyah threw Ina a confused pout, and Ina couldn't help but find it absolutely adorable.

In spite of her prevailing annoyance, Ina's lips perked up. "I'm glad that you think so. Unfortunately, my publisher doesn't agree," she said, leaning back in her seat as she frowned, "He says it's too biased. What the hell does he mean by bias? It's purely based off of meticulous research!"

Aliyah hummed as she continued to flip through the article. She looked up at Ina, an off handed word of encouragement on the tip of her tongue. It faded when she saw the weight with which Ina's shoulders were sagging.

With a sigh, Aliyah took off her glasses and scooted her chair closer to Ina. Ina shot her an odd side-eye as the chair scraped rather obnoxiously across the floor. Aliyah stared right back, lips pursed and eyes unblinking.

For a long moment the two just stared at each other, until Aliyah suddenly crossed her eyes and Ina burst into laughter. "You're ridiculous," she managed to say, clutching her stomach.

"You're even more ridiculous," Aliyah replied, "Why are you so down? Just because your stupid publisher doesn't approve of the article? We both know you're an awesome writer."

Sobering back up, Ina breathed out a sigh. "I need to have this article published. I've put too many months of work in to just scrap it," Ina said with a groan, "But I feel like I've been slipping. Ever since…" Ina cut herself off.

But Aliyah wasn't an idiot. Ever since you came around, she finished in her head.

Ina cleared her throat, rubbing her hands together. "Not that you need to worry about it. This isn't among the numerous burdens that I throw on top of you," she said, shooting Aliyah a hint of that charming smile.

"I'm not worrying because you're asking me to, I'm worrying because I care," Aliyah replied, "You just don't look confident right now."

Ina's shoulders sagged as her smile weakened. "Wow. Thank you for that, Aliyah."

"You're welcome," Aliyah said simply, "Look, forget what your publisher thinks, you're brilliant. And mind you, I don't compliment people often, because I hate everyone here." Ina shook with silent laughter, and Aliyah did a mental self-high five.

"Current company excluded?" Ina asked.

"Of course," Aliyah said with a nod, "Look, if push comes to shove, we'll just find a new publisher."

"I don't think you understand how difficult that could be," Ina lamented.

"Uh, hello? Are you forgetting that I run an entire blog with my own crap on it?" Aliyah asked, pointing at her head, "I've got connections. And I've already gushed enough about you to my people to be able to convince them to get you a slot in some high-end website."

Ina arched a brow slowly. "'Gushed'?" Beet red creeped up Aliyah's face even as she smiled sheepishly. Ina laughed richly. "I'm flattered."

"You should be. There's a stigma around Belvoire professors that I had to work around to convince them you were great," Aliyah replied.

"I… you never told me any of this," Ina said. Was that why Aliyah was always asking for copies of her latest work? And her incite on every single one of them?

…huh.

"Well think about how it'd sound if I just brought it up out of the blue," Aliyah said with a grin. Hey, teach! Guess what? I've officially kissed your ass both literally and metaphorically! Which Aliyah couldn't say she wasn't proud of, but Ina didn't need to hear that vocalized.

"Fine, point taken," Ina said with a grin, "I appreciate it, Aliyah. Really, I do." Both of their hands twitched, a similar instinct in mind. Alas, Professor Kingsley and her undying loyalty to professionalism always prevailed.

"Remember, you're Professor Ina Kingsley, Belvoire's residential badass educator," Aliyah said, gesticulating in a jazz hands motion.

"I don't think anyone calls me that," Ina replied, trying not to laugh.

"Yeah, you're right. They call you other things," Aliyah averted her eyes to the side as Ina groaned inwardly. She was all too aware of her reputation as 'Professor Dreamy'. "But my point still stands. A bunch of people on the internet are always looking forward to reading your work, so what if your publisher disapproves?"

"I suppose you're right," Ina said, nodding. I mean, she wasn't about to brag about those five thousand reads her last article got, but… her publisher could kiss her ass (metaphorically).

"Of course I'm right. So. Confidence boost effectiveness confirmed?" Aliyah asked, leaning forward with a grin.

"Confidence boost effectiveness confirmed," Ina said with a nod. The two of them burst into laughter, like two nerds with extremely poor senses of humor- which they precisely were. "I… thank you for your words of encouragement, Aliyah," Ina said after a short moment.

"Hey, even you need a reminder of how awesome you are every now and then," Aliyah replied, "Don't worry though, I take my TA position very seriously, so I've got you covered."

"I really do need to get you a mug or something," Ina said with a laugh.

"Yeah, I'll hold you to that," Aliyah chuckled, and reached over to squeeze Ina's shoulder.

Ina smiled softly at her, and reached up to squeeze her hand. Slowly, their fingers entwined and the two of them sat in a peaceful quiet.

"I know I might not be able to help you out as much as I want to, but… I'll always have your back," Aliyah smiled sheepishly at her.

She was sure she wasn't the first to make a claim to Ina's side. The Professor probably had loads of much more capable peers that could help her in a pinch…

Ina felt her throat tighten, and she nodded vigorously in replacement of a vocal thank you. She squeezed Aliyah's hand a little tighter, before replying, "I know."

~end~

[lalalasingoutloud]

Veronica Mars Season 4

This is going to be a fucking essay. I just need to get my feelings out. This initially started off as just a Logan rant but it turned into a LoVe rant. My feelings about the season 4 finale is at the end.

I only started watching this show when seasons 1-3 were released on Hulu. I quickly watched these 3 seasons and the movie and read both books in a span of a week. This show quickly became my favorite TV show. Not one of my favorites; it became the favorite. I loved the writing of the show and the character of Veronica. But the main reason why I love this show, hot I get hooked onto any show, is the development of relationships, in any kind of way. I like to watch how certain characters interact with each other, how the actors play with each other. I believe that Veronica Mars does a good job of exploring those relationships in a way that makes sense (for the most part). It was especially exciting to see how Veronica and Logan came to be. It came out of nowhere, and yet made sense. 

I do want Veronica and Logan together. Yes, their relationship was toxic in seasons 1-3. The main problem in their relationship was that Veronica has trust issues and that both of them were equally stubborn. Logan was always the one that wanted to help and protect Veronica no matter the consequence. Veronica was the one who refused help because she doesn’t like looking weak. Neither really backed down and did what they thought was right. As much as I liked them together, their final breakup in season 3 was needed for them to grow. Even though I knew that they’d probably get back together in the movie, watching the final scene in season 3, you know that they’d find their way back to each other. I know that there is no one else in the entire world that they could love as much as each other. (Side note: Piz was okay for Veronica, but I don’t think Veronica could ever love Piz as much as he loved her. But I loved him as a character.)

The movie was the perfect time to get Veronica and Logan back together. While Veronica remained mostly the same at her core, Logan grew the fuck up. He joined the Navy, learning discipline and responsibility for the first time in his life. He tried his best to help Carrie be the best version of himself. He became the responsible and stable one in the relationship. Although he still has his Logan-ism that make him act like his teenage self (like starting a fight over the sex tape and lightly threatening Sean to delete the Carrie-coke posts), he knows when to pick his battles for the most part. He is the troupe of the bad-boy reformed, but it makes sense. 

Throughout the movie, you can see all the love and feelings that are still there when they are around each other (I know this whole film is fan service, but still). The moment in the film that said that they were going to get together in the end is when Veronica says that they should take the long way home. I believe this is a reference to when they decided to get together in season 1 when Logan says that he’ll take her on the back roads to drive her home. 

SEASON 4 

The development of Logan is beautifully done in season 4. He is changed, but still him. He still has his quips and his inspirational quotes. He just has evolved the good qualities that he has always had and dealing with pain through therapy. I did not expect him to go to therapy but I love this choice. He has had a temper problem pretty much throughout his life, but this season, it’s sedated. He’s trying to be the Bruce Banner, rather than the Hulk (Side note: I love the amount of Marvel references in this season). He says that he’s always angry, but he express that anger, not through rage, but through understanding. If he doesn’t control it, then he reverts back to his teenage self, like how he punched out the kitchen cabinet because Veronica said no to his proposal. Another way we saw him as Teen Logan was when he casually walked through the door after fighting the Carr men and gives Veronica the check with a bloody shirt on. It’s moments like these that show that Logan is working really hard to be better.

It’s interesting to see the dynamic between Veronica and Logan. Even though the roles of stability has reversed (Logan wanting her to go to therapy), where they are in the relationship has been the same. Even in their relationship throughout their adolescence, it was always Logan who committed first. As far as I remember, we don’t actually here Veronica say the words “I love you” to Logan, or at least on-screen. We only know she loves him when he asks for confirmation twice in season 3. Even in the flashbacks of their summer during the season 2 premiere, Logan tells her he is in love with her, and she doesn’t say it back. She has never said those words because she is scared of that kind of commitment and trust. This dynamic is explored again in the premiere of season 4 because Logan wants to marry her and has want to for a long time, and Veronica doesn’t because she’s seen what has happened to married people for the past 20 years. Logan is disappointed that she said no, but he just waits for her to be where he is, if she wants to be. He knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, but he gives her an out if she doesn’t feel the same. But she does and marries him at a court house which is perfect for them. This couple aren’t extravagant. All they want and need is each other, they’ve waited for so long that they don’t want to waste more time not being married. But RIP their marriage that lasted all of an hour.

Like many other people, I am upset, disappointed, confused, and angry about Logan’s death. He honestly deserved better. He had one of the best character developments in the show, and in my opinion, in television shows in general. He grew from the psychotic jack ass to someone who cares so much for other people. He grew from the abuse he endured growing up, being abandoned by the people he loves, accused of multiple murders, and many other traumatic things that could prevent him from changing. But he did. He turned himself into a man that is so self aware and trying to take care of himself. He went to therapy to deal with the trauma he has experienced and was willing to change to be the best version of himself. 

I truly and honestly do not understand why kill him off. As much as I want LoVe to be together into old age, this is not why I am upset about his death. Logan deserved better. If he were to die young, I’ve imagined him dying in a blaze of glory. Either by dying in action or by saving Veronica. This death just feels cheap. This death is only for shock value. It doesn’t serve a purpose at the end. It does open the possibility of a season 5, because they don’t explicitly state that Logan is death, they just heavily imply that. I really hope he is alive in any fashion, secret mission, coma, whatever. I don’t care, because Logan deserves better.

But if he is truly dead, I think the most interesting thing about his death is how Veronica is going to handle it. Obviously, we see her go to therapy, but the way Veronica has dealt with trauma her entire life is trying to solve the mystery behind it. After Lilly died, she spent over a year trying to solve her murder, because that’s how she coped. She tried to find her mom after she left the first time. She went after Gia and Luke after her father got into a car accident. Her entire way of coping is getting justice to the people who have hurt her and the ones she loves. But this death is different. She already know who did it. He’s already been captured. There is no mystery to solve. It’s already done. This time instead of focusing on the case that will help her get closure, she already had to deal with it before it happened. This time she takes cases that take her out of Neptune because she can’t stand to be there.

How she copes is the only way his death will progress the show, because it is different. But that does not mean that his death was justified. We didn’t see anyone mourn really. Logan Echolls deserves that. 

[divine529]

3, 15, 17, 20, 28, 34! :)

I literally had to retype all of this so enjoy haha. 

3.) Rant. Just do it. 

This has been the absolute WORST summer I think I’ve ever had and I’m still dealing with the aftermath of it all. 

First, remember that professor I was telling you about awhile back? Yeah 90% of my anger and frustration surrounds that adventure. I had him for 3 classes, 2 of which are resolved and that’s fine (even if it’s not the way a lot of people wanted it to be). The first class I had him for was back in the spring and we were seriously just waiting for our grades for the class all summer long. The second one I took wasn’t the worst, but he canceled twice (there were only 10 classes and he missed 2) and he lied about the final (said it would be 15 MC with 1 essay and instead it was 15 MC with 3 essays). It shouldn’t be taking this long to resolve that particular situation and hearing the solutions they’re toying with are frankly garbage and I know that they’re probably just going to go the P/F route again, but they should just DO IT ALREADY. 

However, as annoyed as I am, the last class is what takes the cake. 

I was just so annoyed with the entire situation especially because he treated me differently than everyone else. If he communicated at all it was with me and only me and I had to relay all the information to everyone else, I had to make every phone call, send every text, remind him of all kinds of things, relay all the information back to him, and he compared me to a TV show character and called me his PA (personal assistant in case that wasn’t clear) TO MY FACE. He rarely showed up and if he did he was always over an hour late, at least. We really didn’t do what we were supposed to be doing due to him. He lost all control over his life and the ability to function as a human being. 

Then we had to get the administration involved and that just made everything even more spectacular. They constantly got information wrong, didn’t listen to a word we said, treated us like we were criminals, accused us of having a “code of secrecy” so we could get out of doing work and took forever to resolve the situation. Ultimately we found out the professor is not coming back and that’s good, but all the people he hurt in the process...

I never got a “summer break” and ended up incredibly stressed, got three major migraine attacks and I’m nowhere near “rested” for the current semester. 

Then they decided to cancel one of the classes I was in, so I had to rearrange my schedule (along with several other people) and did so about 3 times. Now I’m dealing with some bullshit from the Bursar’s Office and I’m not even going to go into it because it’ll piss me off. 

Needless to say, I now scrutinize and bitch about every. tiny. little. thing the school does. I’m angry, frustrated and pissed off. 

To top it all off, I found out that one of my childhood friends was killed and that hit me pretty hard. 

That’s a summary of my life from June to right now (May was also a ride but that’s not summer so...) 

Basically I’m so done with it all and I’m tired. 

15.) What question do you get constantly asked? 

There are so many questions I get asked on a regular basis...here are some of the hits: 

“What kind of law do you want to go into?” 

“Can you do/remind me of this thing?” 

“What happened? Tell me about this thing.” 

Lately I’ve gotten: 

“How was your summer?” (HA we all know the answer to that one) 

17.) Google the top song form the year you were born. 

“I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston. 

20.) Describe your blog in 3-5 words. 

Screaming about ships forever. 

28.) What celebrity would you rate a PERFECT 10? 

Oh man...that depends on my mood, and the time of year I think...

I don’t think I can do it. Too many variables. 

34.) Do you like your Hogwarts House or do you wish you were in a different one? 

That’s an interesting question...I am a hatstall so basically the hat doesn’t know where to put me and I’m stuck evenly between 2 houses, which are Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. 

I honestly believe that there are two categories you could put yourself in: your house based on personality or your house based on traits you admire. For me, depending on which category I fall into, my house changes. 

Personality = Hufflepuff 

Traits I Admire = Ravenclaw. 

Now I can go into a whole explanation and background as to why I say that but to answer your question, I like both of those options and I could easily be comfortable and happy in either of them. Which one I truly belong to is the biggest question, but I’d be ok in either. 

Thanks for the questions! 

[journeyanddream]

The Finale

The anticipated feeling of liberation did not come after the cessation of section one. I sat motionlessly staring into blank complexion, trying to make sense of the havoc that was section one. I slowly melted into the seat and the table, deprived of energy and soul while waiting for the next section to begin. It was difficult to shift my mind, the lingering thought of failure and incompetence was heavy; I didn’t do bad but nor did I do well. 

I remember I was stuffed with the urge to empty my bladder and after signalling the invigilator, I was kindly declined twice. ‘When the announcement finishes, you can go’...it wasn’t true. After the announcement, there was no time to go and section had already started. Despite having emptied my bladder only two hours prior, it was now filled again...perhaps due to a combination of stress and caffeine. What could have lasted me six to seven hours usually only lasted two hours at that moment. There was no time to think. I pressed on and let my biological functions take a backseat. 

As I flipped open the booklet and examined the quotes, I brainstormed like I always did: with purpose and with passion. Until that point, I’ve written roughly sixty essays across roughly 3 months, not impressive but not an easy task to take on. Borrowing from past experiences, I engineered the paragraphs and ideas within the ten minutes: change and ambition. Ideas poured out my heads and gave life to my hands, jotting down phrases furiously, without a pause. Twenty minutes into the task, I was already finishing up conclusion; a task that I would look back with satisfaction. Task B was less well developed compared to its counter part, but nonetheless a good piece; although better ideas and sentence structures could be incorporated to make it more authentic, interesting and stand out more. One hour lapsed so quickly, it resembled more like 20 minutes. With the end of section two, marked half point of Gamsat. I knew I could have done alot better, but given what I had I was happy with the outcome: both section one and two. 

‘Section three is where we shine’. I said to my teammates during lunch, this is by far the most extensively prepared section by me, I’ve reached out to the best mentor and had the most well developed resources at my command - all summed up in four months of work. I was read, I felt good. If anything one of these sections would get me in, it would be this. ‘Even if we don’t believe in ourselves, we gotta trust David; for his effort had made profound changes in each one of us.’ I added. The anxiety that surrounded me in previous sections flew away and was no where to be found; the power of confidence; the power of belief. Always trust the process and believe the progress; we’ve done the miles and gave our all, it is time to deliver. Much like Connor Mcgregor has said ‘I am confident in my preparation, and cocky in prediction..but I will be humble in victory or defeat.’ I guess MMA and Medicine are not that different after all. 

I sat myself comfortably in that familiar table and chair, waiting for the finale of Gamsat to unfold. After a round of routine procedures, the reading time was going to begin: we had started 2:00pm sharp (a rare scene) and was projected to finish 5:00pm on the dot. We were instructed to open the booklet and begin reading time. I flipped through the pages as usual, cherry picking the ‘easy marks’ and establishing a mental map of the where about of question. However, I knew something was different, something was wrong within the first ten pages I had viewed. The questions were out of style, different and unfamiliar to those I had practiced. There were few physical chemistry questions if at all and I could count all the organic chemistry questions with one hand - this is bad. The questions deviated from scientific knowledge dramatically, all the information was contained in the passage, the questions bordered on scientific concepts and in reality they asked you other things. I was uneasy about this change, what I thought would be an easy section soon turned to something really ugly. I wasn’t struggling. But I was doing it with 100% confidence. None of the questions required the use of ‘double swap rule’, ‘numbering arbitrarily’ or ‘tricks of acid and bases’. In fact, they were mostly reading comprehension encased in the context of science, but the question itself it hardly science. Knowing more science might have proven to be a disadvantage for that particular test. I pushed through and tried to do everything I could without jeopardizing other questions. 

The three pass technique was key to my preparation: doing all chemistry questions first, then biology and at last physics. I was able to finish get through all the chemistry and 85% of biology intermingled with some physics. When it was ‘times up’, I had attempted 90~95 questions, and guessed the remaining 10~15. The fastest I have attempted to date. When I was up to the 70/110 questions mark, my forehead was studded with sweat, my vision begun to deteriorate and a tension in the brow-line is slowly intensifying over the past 2 hours. My head begun to spin, plus the background dizziness and headache, I felt exhausted (The usual feeling of wanting to throw up，as if in the middle of motion sickness). I felt drained and my concentration begun to wane as well. I shook my head and told myself to  move on: so close to the finish line, If i give up right now It would be deleterious for all I had done prior. We have to move on, we must keep going.  As I lifted my head to check the time towards the end, there was 10~15 minutes remaining; the ‘suit guy’ sitting next to me leaned back with his arms folded and test paper closed - resting. I channeled my energy into the paper once again, planning to spend 10 minutes to do a few more questions before calling it a day and guess the remaining questions with all Cs (I do not want to make the mistake of finishing the exam and not leaving enough time to guess the left overs). 

“Times up, hold up your answer sheet!’ The announcer’s loud voice shattered the three hour silence, while marking the END of Gamsat 2018. After the announcement, myriad of sounds were heard: some exhaled deeply, others collapsed onto their table, and the rest did a combination of both. The unanimous sigh or exhale was extremely memorable. End of Gamsat also meant the end of our journey; I could finally let go of the boulder that crushed me for months. Regardless of the outcome, all the pain made that momentary liberation that much sweeter. “This is the end, I’m done’ I thought to myself. Once again I melted into the seats, mind blank and unable to think or process information - my brain had taken the beating and endured the suffering, alongside me, this is the rest it long deserved. Even as I am writing this, the end of a Gamsat journey still felt surreal. It was 5:30 pm when we were let go, candidates stormed out the hall that had housed thousands of us since 7 am this morning. Many people remained in clusters and chatted to their friends, the usual ‘post-exam talk’. I was no different. As I walked with fellow candidates, I couldn’t help but to complain about how DIFFERENT this exam was and how the entire four months of preparation did not help at all (other than fatigue training). “We could honestly spend two weeks studying and this pull off similar results”, a friend remarked. “I could have had a life, xx wasn’t in it, yy wasn’t in it..”, another mate added. At that moment, I wasn’t sure if i was satisfied, content because it is over or if I was angry about how it had turned out, faced with the prospect of yet another Gamsat - another failure. 

I am usually correct about the outcome of an exam, based purely on how I ‘felt’. Like the anatomy spot test that I walked out knowing I had absolutely aced everything - which turned out to be 96%. Or the final exam of 2406, where I walked out with confidence and happiness - a unit where I would go on to achieve 93 average mark. But this...was different. It wasn’t the ‘I know i failed’ from previous Gamsat nor the ‘I know I aced it’ confidence; It was neither, It was something in between - a mediocre score. I felt cheated - four months of preparation put in vain. I felt unsatisfied and guilty - not been able to give my A-game, and the possibility of another year of preparation. Gamsat has left a void in my life, feeling lost and unmotivated to get back to normal life; what should I do?. I spent the entire week after Gamsat in a semi-depressed, unmotivated state; wrote a rant email to David and even spoke to him on the phone while I received an emotional support therapy.

I guess no one will know for sure until the weighted (scaled) mark is released. I do not have to be the best, I have to be better than the average to beat the bell curve and come out victorious. No one will ever know for sure. But regardless of the outcome, like Jack has said “We will be better versions of ourselves”, and that is most important. The truth is, I’ve learned alot, I’ve gained tremendous insight compared to last time and I’ve indeed become better versions of myself - we have to convince ourselves, it is the learning process that is most valuable, the outcome is only a secondary reflection of the work we’ve put in. If we can’t get where we want to be, it only means we’ve not done enough, failure is not a reflection of character but effort. I will NOT give up, I will NOT be defeated, I WILL stand up and fight once again, and I WILL DO IT, surely and eventually. 

Until next time - Keep calm and GAMSAT on 

[gusticeleague]

Morty’s Mind Blowers review

Oh thank god, it’s an easy one.

I was surprised that this turned out to the the answer to Interdimensional Cable this season. I thought Tales from the Citadel was going to be it, since it basically had the same anthology structure but more focused and less based on vignettes.  

Actually if anything, the episode Morty’s Mind Blowers most reminds me of is the parasite episode, given that it focuses on the unpleasant memories you have about your mistakes or your family that you wish you could erase but have to live with because that’s a part of your shared history, for better or worse.

I can totally buy from a character perspective that Morty would want to erase the terrible things he does and Rick would allow him because when Morty gets emotional, it interferes with Rick’s work. I especially love the idea that Rick erases any evidence that he isn’t a hyper-capable genius in Morty’s mind (and that beating him at checkers is one such slight deserving of memory erasure to him). My one gripe though is when they hit the amnesia angle halfway through. It works for what the episode is trying to do because it means we get to see more Mind Blowers, but I’ve never been a fan of amnesia plots because they don’t really tend to use that opportunity to teach us anything new about the characters and just expect the audience to laugh at the characters rediscovering who they are, which is never as funny to me as putting characters in new environments or familiar but slightly off versions of them, which is where Tales from the Citadel really succeeded.

As good as all those Mind-Blowers were (I don’t think there’s a bad one in the lot), I kind of felt the framing story could have leaned into similar thematic territory. If you’ve read my rankings of Rick and Morty episodes from the first two seasons, you’ll see a pretty big disparity between the two Interdimensional Cable episodes. To my mind, Rixty Minutes works better over Interdimensional Cable II: Tempting Fate because while they both lean into the escapist power of television to distract you from getting involved with complicated family drama, Rixty Minutes uses that conceit for one of the most life-affirming character moments ever put to television and a thesis statement for the entire show, while Interdimensional Cable II takes what could have been an interesting reason to have all the characters watching television (to distract from worrying about a mortally diseased Jerry) and proceeded to do nothing interesting with it. I can’t really blame them though. From what I’ve gleaned about that episode’s production, Interdimensional Cable ran out of steam as a concept pretty quickly, as they initially thought was going to be their answer to Treehouse of Horror but then decided against it when they realised that they couldn’t make that lightning strike twice. And so instead we have Morty’s Mind Blowers, which gives the writing team time to really hash out a solid joke rather than rely on any random thing that Justin and company want to riff on in the booth.

There’s not really a whole lot to comment on here, so I’m probably just going to bullet point the rest of this one out. A freeform anthology review, if you will.

I’ve been trying to think of what regular episodes could count as mind-blowers, but then I realised that all of them take place after Jerry left, because he isn’t in any of them other than one brief one at Morty’s 13th birthday. Which is also an interesting continuity note, because Morty is 14 by the time the show starts and Rick had already been with the family for about a year prior to that point, since the anniversary of his coming back was in the first Council of Ricks episode. I’m guessing the 13th birthday one is either due to Rick’s shitty filing system and/or Rick deciding to remove that memory from Morty’s mind sometime after Jerry left, maybe because Morty reminded him about it and then removed it out of spite.

Hey look, it’s Neil Gaiman’s Sandman. This show is full of Endless possibilities. Also, the Truth Tortoise said “I’m a Beatle, Paul is dead” backwards, because of course it did.

I love how Jerry has a crappier version of the Mind Blower helmet with VHS tapes instead of vials of memory goo. One of them’s labelled “Sleepy Gary”.

They were pretty spot on with those Men in Black II jokes. “Save it for Youtube” made me chuckle, and also a little ashamed at the fact that I do spend a good chunk of my time online watching video essays.  

Anyway, it seems like that The Ricklantis Mixup took up the majority of the time and budget and was an emotional gut-punch to boot, so Morty’s Mind Blowers is meant to serve as a breather for the fans and the writers before we get to what I assume is going to be a gut-punch Beth and Rick episode and a climax to either Rick-Shank Redemption or The Ricklantis Mixup. And structural nit-picking aside, while The Ricklantis Mixup was a better anthology this season, this one had enough good clips in it that it passes the bar. Not Rixty Minutes good, but not Interdimensional Cable II bad. Probably somewhere in the ballpark of Lawnmower Dog.

Episode MVP: Summer, for not getting paid enough for this shit.

Favourite bit character: Poor Beebo. If only it were Venzenulon Nine, then he wouldn’t have died in vain.

And instead of best joke, here’s my:

Top 5 Mind Blowers

5) Beth’s Choice

Only including this one because it got such a reaction out of me. I’ve mentioned before how I find Beth one of the more interesting characters on the show because of how the writers base her psychological profile out of Rick leaving her as a child and how that affected her ability to relate to people, including Jerry and her own children. Choosing Summer over Morty feels in line with that. It kind of the inverse of that bit in Malcolm in the Middle where Lois says if she was to choose between saving Reese or Malcolm, she’d choose Reese, because he needs all the help he can get while Malcolm is smart enough to look after himself since he’s smart and Reese is an idiot. Whereas Beth would choose Summer since she’s more capable and less of a hassle to look after than Morty, who I think she sees as a smaller Jerry and she probably made that Sophie’s Choice a long time ago in her mind.

4) Talking to Animals

RIP Erica Henderson and Ryan North’s mentions. I’m really only including this on the list for the hummingbird’s thoughts, since it reminded me of The Far Side. I find the idea of animals secretly plotting against us kind of rote because it is almost always something cute and innocuous like a squirrel or a rabbit or a dolphin, and never something more genuinely benign and out-of-left-field like...I dunno, anteaters. Also turns out Rick and Morty have hopped realities again, which at this point they could only really do as a throwaway joke, cause there’s no way in hell they’re going to be able to top the end of Rick Potion #9.

3) The Whole Enchilada

Speaking of hell, the bait-and-switch of the alien having has an actual objective afterlife was excellent, and something I’ve always wondered why that hasn’t been explored more. Especially if a species were to have a soul and what their notion of “life” would be if they know it continues to exist for them after their tangible existence. That’s been done, right? Trek’s probably done it, surely.

2) Wrong Light Switch

Great set-up, excellent punch-line. The less you explain it, the funnier it is.

1 ) “True Level”

My favourite kind of joke is to take an ordinary activity or thing and ramp it up to a ridiculous science fiction version of that thing. My favourite kind of Rick and Morty joke is to have Rick be the one to introduce the sci-fi version of a thing to Morty, only for Rick to get frustrated at Morty’s inability to wrap his head around it. My second favourite kind of Rick and Morty joke is to have a character gain a sudden cosmic revelation and having it crush their spirit so completely as to be permanently emotionally crippled, usually while woefully lamenting their own insignificance. So this is basically the perfect joke to me. My true level of jokes.

It does feel a little familiar though, mostly because I think I can tell that Dan Harmon wrote this segment. Rick’s rant about judging level with “your naked caveman eye and a bubble of fucking air” could have been taken from any first five minutes of a Harmontown episode, and the whole premise seems incredibly similar to that Community joke about the room where they get room temperature from. Be that as it may, there’s no sin in being familiar, and “REALITY IS POISON!” made me laugh my ass off, so it’s a very easy hit to my funny bone regardless.

Final Rating: 3 out of 5 grapples