#i also have this thought soon after of like anti-matchmaking where i think of people they would HATE

[derpinette]

i would have been a fantastic matchmaker in ancient times because all i do all day is peoplewatch & my instinct when i see anyone is to look in my Mind Repertoire for people they would best bond & pair with

[criticaltaurus]

Since I have no chill

My Avatar OC’s for each entity!

Under cut cause length

Buried! Since I love the esoteric meanings, they appear as a kind person who asks you a favor (slightly eye touched) but it soon becomes one thing after another and another until you’re buried in expectations and stress, especially impacts those with anxiety/fear of failure. No concrete design in mind, but probably a diminutive old lady (mama issues yo)

Corruption~ A nice church girl, who goes to church (and reads her biiibleeee) Who just really vibed with God Loves All His Children. When she saw a ladybug in her hair, she thought it was God showing his love to her (from an old saying her grandmother had), and when they started coming from her ears, eyes, nose, mouth, wherever, that’s just proof she embodies Gods love to show to everyone. Honestly well meaning, but thinks people are afraid out of shame rather than Whoops All bugs

Dark. (Okay since it’s so simplistic I have a lot of trouble with Dark but here goes) So they’re a subversive type, going more for blindness than actual darkness. Y’know when you shine a really bright light and it washes away the details of what its pointed at? That’s them, they are/generate such a blinding, washing light, that you’re as unaware as you are in pitch darkness, only it subverts the comfort and safety the light supposedly brings. They’d still be Edge AF tho.

End. A stone mason who makes headstones for people who haven’t passed away yet, but gives a date. Kinda like the weird death prophecy book, if they try to change it, the date will just change, but it’s even scarier when it doesn’t change. Secondary effect: The epithet will also show how one will be remembered, if at all, before inevitably deteriorating into nothing.

EyE. So there’s this one artist whose paintings always have one person looking directly into “camera” to be directly facing the viewer, basically that as a person, no matter where or when you look, you’ll always match eyes with them, and you don’t know who they’re really looking at.

FLESH Face-Stealer. Pretty Stranger-Aligned, but they vibed with the body modification more so than the uncanny valley aspect of it all. They’ll replace someone, murder their friends + Family and switch between them, because under the skin we’re all the same meat after all.

lonely. A simple kind of person, they have the power to warp perception, making someone hyper-aware of any negative social tick on a person, making them feel like everyone is against them or negative towards them.

Stranger? Happy Faces Everyone! Sort of the opposite of the Lonely guy, they’d make everyone around them super positive and friendly, for nor reason! Even the worst people, the most aggressive, will be kind with a big smile on their face (such as “You did this for me? What’d you do with the real *insert name here*) Feel like their kindness is a lie yet? Feel that paranoia set in? Feel the performative nonsense of it all?

V a s t . My main self-insert Sona, the eldritch park ranger! Loves the forest, and you will too! Or you won’t doesn’t really matter! Cause the trees start coming and they dont stop coming!

Web. Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match~ Find me a find~ Catch me a Catch~. Ties people together by “coincidence” and “chance” until they become convinced it’s not an accident, even if its contradictory to their nature. Why did you, who couldn’t care about makeup or skin care, walk into the beauty shop to see the girl who, while never playing a console video game, walked into your game store?  The two would never go anywhere though, always being tugged away by something or other before a match could be made, keeping the two in frustrated, endless pining, while removing any other choices.

Extinction, for fun! A modern tech CEO. Gentrification, anti-homeless architecture, making everything all bland and techy and overpriced until everyone is forced out or conformed, could give Elias a run for his money.

I saved four for last because i’ve come up with a sort of Eldritch Gang Band, and aside from my Park Ranger, i’ve developed them the most. They go by the Misfreaks as a band name, and do some good gigs outside of eldritch monster work

Khaos(Kah-oes) Kween, Desolation avatar, anti-capitalist, lead singer, and has one hell of a baseball bat swing. The most aggressive of the four, and loves to break everything. When she gets all Desolation-y, her bat gets red hot, but her real power is to melt away memories of anything she burns. Hates The Lightless Flame tho.

Hunter King (that’s actually his name). Hunt Avatar, and the moral core and common sense of the four. He keeps their targets on shitty amoral people, but he knows that’s according to his views. Drummer, and his main Hunt power is being a lie-detector, and a killer with throwing knives. ACAP (All Cops Are Prey)

Jack Slaughter, Slaughter Avatar, a bigender person kicked out by her strict parents, youngest in the group (?), main guitarist, basically got adopted by Khaos and Hunter, and is the most brutal of the group. His main power is blood knives. If he cant get any from someone else, he usually resorts to punching herself in the face.

Twist Joker, Spiral...avatar? Honestly none of the others really know much about her(?). Just kinda showed up when they were practicing for a gig, and can play the bass like a pro so no harm done! Scenecore personified, and whenever they talk or move, they leave a trail of rainbow after images, stays pretty close unless they move faster. The most chaotic, most energetic, but also peppiest. Her main power is to give sensory overload. Anyone targeted by her will begin to feel every color, every sound, every sensation more and more intensely until they snap.

[lynelovespopculture]

The Wedding Night-Sequel to the Wedding I worked like a dog to get this up before Part 3.

The Wedding Night

 Holding hands, the lovers laughed as they ran across the lawn and up the stairs. They kissed passionately by the door.

“I can’t believe we finally did it! Did we just get married?” Diana asked with a golden smile.

Edward laughed. “Oh, believe it, Mrs. Spellman. You’re stuck with me now. Let’s see, I believe the mortal tradition goes like this-“

Diana laughed deeply as Edward scooped her up in his arms and crossed the threshold after he magically opened the door. It wasn’t until they were inside and he put Diana down that Edward noticed that there was a fire in the front sitting room.

“Hilda? Zelda? ”

But it wasn’t either of his sisters. Edward moved more into the room. Edward would know those nails and that hare topped walking stick anywhere.

“I know that man” Diana whispered to her husband. “He was at the wedding. When he wasn’t glaring at us, he was staring at Zelda. Do you know him?”

“Only half of my life,” Edward mumbled. “Go upstairs, Diana. I’ll be up soon.” Edward kissed his wife’s cheek to reassure her.

Diana left and Edward went to greet his guest. “Hello, Faustus.  I was happy to see you at my wedding. I wasn’t sure you be able to make it.” Edward poured 2 brandys and handed Faustus a glass.

“I had to come,” Faustus replied. “I had to see for myself if you had the sheer nerve to betray your own people.”

Edward sat down, threw his head back and sighed. So much for the polite and friendly approach. “I didn’t betray anyone. I just got married.”

“To a moral!” The other man leaned forward heavily on his cane. “Just because you’re high priest doesn’t mean you cannot do whatever you want. There are rules!”

 “And I have followed the rules! Diana and I pushed back our wedding a year before  Enoch gave permission.”

“Enoch is one of your biggest fans. Of course, he gave you permission. The man is also an idiot.”

“You dare call the anti-pope an idiot?”  Demanded Edward.

Faustus considered this. “When it comes to you? Yes. What will you ask for next? The world?”

“Enough!” Edward got up and downed his drink in 1 shot. “What do you have against mortals anyway? What did they ever do to you?”

Faustus chuckled. “I know I haven’t been your teacher in a very long time but here’s a quick history lesson. When witches are exposed to mortals, witches die. Think about Salem or even the 13.”

“I can’t have this fight with you again!” Edward threw up his hands. “Besides, this is not the time for anger.  You see, I heard about Constance’s miscarriage-“

“No!” Faustus jumped up. “You don’t get to pretend to care about anyone’s happiness but your own. Not with me. We know that miscarriages occur when marriages displease the dark lord. How can  my marriage please the dark lord when it doesn’t  even please me?”

Edward rolled his eyes. “Oh, sweet hell, not again.”

“You marry a mortal and almost no one bats an eye, yet you forced me to marry Constance.”

“I did not.” Edward objected. “I   gave you a choice.”

“Some choice! “Faustus spat. “You knew I worked on my thesis for decades, but you suddenly decided not to publish it until I married Constance, who just moved to Greendale, within a  month! As you may recall, I almost stormed out of your office, refusing to whore myself for my work. Before I could reach the door, you told me of Zelda’s recent elopement with an English warlock and you even showed me a framed picture of the happy couple. You knew I would’ve married any witch you put in front of me after that and you could understand my shock when after my honeymoon, I walked into the school only to come face to face with Zelda’s new husband,  mopping the floor! I asked around and I came to decide that either Zelda had married the academy’s new janitor, or you lied to me. It was confirmed  when I sneaked into your office, found the exact picture you showed me, but it was only Zelda and Hilda, who  both came home about 2 weeks later.”

“That’s all  history now.” Edward dismissed. “What’s your point?”

“You’re married to the mortal you’re smitten with. I can barely stand being in the same room as my wife and both your sisters are unmarried and wasting their lives delivering other people’s children when they should be having babies of their own.”

“Hey, my sisters are allowed to marry whoever and whenever they want.”

“Anyone but me that is. Why Edward, why?”

“You really want to know? I’ll tell you. It’s because  I don’t trust you, Faustus. I can’t really put my finger on as to why,  but there’s something dark and dangerous inside you. Plus, I still remember when I was still a student and you took home and I will never forget how your father treated, what was it? Your 7th stepmother.”

“I am nothing like my father!” Faustus objected violently. “I never met a man I hated more until I met you!”

Edward shook his head. “You didn’t always hate me. We used to be friends.”

“True.” Faustus agreed. “I thought we were friends the first time I asked for Zelda’s hand in marriage and you rebuked me. I only slightly disliked when you were first made high priest and I begged you to marry Zelda and again you refused me. I  only really started to hate you when you married me off and then you started to play matchmaker between Zelda and every single warlock in the coven.”

Edward advanced.  “Well, hate this. I don’t think Zelda will be single for much longer. You see, my sister has been away from the house more and more lately. I think she’s finally found the man for her.” Faustus laughed. “What’s so funny?” Edward demanded.

“I’m that man,” Faustus informed him.

“You and Zelda are having an  affair?”

“Only in my dreams. But we have been talking more. Unlike the rest of you Spellmans, Zelda actually respects witch law and is having trouble accepting your marriage and didn’t want to trouble her darling brother.”

“You’re lying. I know my sister; she would have gone to Hilda.”

“Wrong. Hilda is getting so chummy with your moral that poor Zelda feels that she’s losing her sister.”

“So, she turned to you?” Edward shook his head, walked out of the room and started up the stairs.

Faustus followed. “What are you going to do? Yell at Zelda for speaking to an old friend?”

“No. I’m going up to my wife. I suggest you go home to yours and accept that you will never have my sister.”

Faustus’s hand tightened around his cane. “Go to heaven, Edward! After this marriage, where else would you go?” Faustus turned and left.

“Faustus! Faustus!”

Faustus Blackwood opened his eyes as he felt someone shaking his knee. His neck felt a little sore as he lifted his  head up from the soft leather of the limo’s backseat.

“What is it, Peter?” He asked of the monk who woke him.

“Sorry to wake you, but we can’t decide what to do.” Peter explained.   “You see, the road has been washed out by the storm.”

“Storm?” Faustus looked out the window and sure enough, he saw big,  fat drops of rain coming down so hard that Faustus couldn’t even see the road. “How long have I  been asleep?”

“About 2 hours, Brother Faustus, and it’s been raining for 1. It’s been getting worse ever since.”

“We’ve been thinking about turning around and stopping at a hotel in the town we just passed.”

“We can’t!” Faustus objected. “We’ll miss our plane to Rome.”

“The driver is on the phone to the airport right now and if the plane is grounded, we may have no choice.” Said another monk.

Then there It was a strange noise.

“I’m sorry.” Peter said while rubbing his stomach. “I didn’t eat dinner.”

“Most of us didn’t. I’m hungry too.” Faustus confessed.

They were interrupted by the driver, who informed them that indeed that the flight to Rome would be grounded until the storm passed.

“Cheer up.” Peter said when he looked at Faustus’s face. “Did you really want to spend your wedding night on an airplane?”

“Good point.” Faustus smiled as he sat and looked at his new bride.  Zelda was asleep, resting her head against her window. Faustus couldn’t help but let his eyes roamed all over her. Her perfect legs were crossed. She was still snuggled up in 1 of  Judas’s baby blanket that Faustus tucked her in himself.

Satan, she’s beautiful,  Faustus thought. And she’s finally mine, truly mine. My Zelda,  my wife. At long last!

The limo took a sharp turn and a sleeping Zelda landed with her head on her husband’s shoulder. He put an arm around her and played with her hair.

 “Damn it!”  Roy, the night manager of the Dreamland Hotel slammed down the phone and looked up to see most of his teenage staff putting on their jackets. “Where  do y’all think you’re going?”

“Home,  boss.” Said a boy whose name escaped Roy. “Shift’s over.”

Roy shook his head. “I don’t think so. That call was about a party of 16. They’ll be here in about 20 minutes.  They want dinner and rooms for the night.”

“Dinner?!” The boy objected “It’s almost midnight!”

“Relax. There 24-hour take-out place around the corner. We’ll just put the noodles on plates.”

“Why should we stay?” asked a girl.

“Because they’re willing to pay 3 times the normal amount for any inconvenience.”

 The teens cheered while Roy smiled. He never said he would be sharing the money, dumb kids.

When the hotel’s lighted sign came into view, Faustus decided to wake up his wife. “Zelda? Sweetheart?” He gently shook her and then he placed a kiss on her lips, only then did Zelda awake.

She was groggy. “Are we already at the airport?”

Faustus smiled. “No, dearest. A storm came and had to change to our plans since no one has a  weather spell on them.”

“We’re here.” Announced Peter,  who got out of the car.

Zelda leaned forward to look out the limo’s window. “And where is here?”

“Just a hotel, dearest. A place for food, sleep and” Faustus whispered in her ear. “Other wedding night type things.”

“Splendid.” Zelda reached for her purse.

Faustus smiled. “Which? The food, sleep, or sex?”

“All” Zelda smiled.

 Roy was at the front desk when the limo pulled up. The party of  16 ranged from some very old men, adults, some teens, and even an infant. Roy noticed that they were all dressed in black, even the baby! Like a cult! 16 freaks.

 Correction, Roy thought as soon as he saw her, 15 freaks and 1 smoking hot redhead!

Some of them were going into the rec hall for their requested meal  but most were heading to the restrooms. Roy snapped his fingers and placed a bellhop at the desk. He tried to cut off the redhead before she went to the restroom. He was too late, so he waited outside the bathroom for the redhead to come out. Finally, after what seemed like a million flushes and like 8 people coming out, some gave him weird looks, he saw the redhead. She had taken off her cloak, hat, and gloves and carried it all in her arms. Roy quickly looked down at her hand, no ring,  good.

“Hey there!”

The redhead barely looked at him. “Hello.”

She turned away but Roy fell in step beside her. “You know, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I put you and me together.”

“I think you mean you and I. Me is a word, not a letter.”

The redhead was walking a bit faster, but Roy got in front of the woman, his hand on the wall, blocking her way.  “What are you? A teacher or something?”.

“Yes.” She said simply and then ducked under his arm.

Roy didn’t or wouldn’t take the hint and was beside her again.

“So, what’s your name, pretty lady?”

However, pretty lady was more   interested in the the woman coming toward them and stopped her.  “Louise, do you know if we smoke on this floor?”

“I don’t think so, Sister Zelda.”

“Great.” She muttered.

“Zelda, huh? Well, you can call me Link baby, you can be my princess anytime.”  He caught her hand and bought it up to his lips.

“You’re still here?” It was Zelda’s only comment.

“Why are you so rude?” Roy advanced and Zelda’s back was against the wall.

“I’m not rude.” Zelda was as calm as ever. “I’m tired, and even more than that, I’m hungry. I only had an apple to eat today.”

“Why didn’t you say so, beautiful? You see, I’m the manager here and I can open the kitchen just for you and you can pick anything you want from the menu and we’ll have a nice, quiet meal in my office. It’s a much better offer than the cold noodles I’m feeding the freaks.”

Zelda stared at him. “Freaks? You dare call my people  freaks?” She shoved him away, harder than Roy thought possible.

“Hey!” Roy caught her arm as Zelda walked away or tried to.

“Excuse me.” Came a new, male voice. “Is there a problem here?”

Roy looked up to see a tall man, in a  suit. To Roy, he looked like a vampire. “What’s wrong, Count Dracula, out of hair gel? You need to  mind your own business!”

The man took a  step forward. “My wife is my business!”

“She’s not married, dude! I checked her hand!”

Zelda chuckled, shook herself free and shuffled her things to her other hand to hold up the hand with a  wedding ring on it. “Wrong hand, idiot.”

“Step away from my wife, mortal.”

“Mortal?  Who talks like that? Who are you, guys?”

Zelda rolled her eyes. “Faustus, my dear, you need to learn how to act with the outside world. I’m a little groggy to use magic right now but now I have no choice.”

Roy looked from one to the other. “Mortal? Magic? What the hell-“

“Never mind!” Zelda held a palm and Roy was in a trace. “Now, Link was it? You already behave like a child so why not play like a child? Go outside and play in the puddles.” Zelda ordered.

Faustus smiled. “You know it might rain all night?”

“All the better” His wife took his arm. “More puddles for him to find.”

 By the time, Zelda sat down to supper  in the rec hall, some of the party  had already finished and left. Cold Chinese was hardly a favorite, but she truly was starving so she ate everything on her plate. As she nursed her wine, Zelda watched   more and more people leave and Zelda longed to withdraw herself but knew as Lady Blackwood, she had to play hostess to the monks who barely spoke a word to her.

After a respectable hour, Zelda rose. “Gentlemen, by  your kind permission, I wish to withdraw.”

Zelda got the permission when the men rose and bowed to her.

“I’ll be up  as soon as I can,” Faustus whispered before he kissed her, and she nodded.

They rented out a whole floor and as the honeymoon suite was already taken so Faustus and Zelda was placed in another suite at the end of the hall. Zelda opened the door and heard Louise, a teacher at the academy scolding some schoolgirls.

“You three were brought along  to attend to Lady Blackwood, not to play with some mortal   boy’s minds.”

“What’s going on here?” Demanded  Zelda, her hand on her hip.

The girls leaped up. “Lady Blackwood.”

“These girls were found playing with some mortal  boys from the hotel staff  when they were supposed to be preparing your room,” Louise told her.

“I’d my fill of mortals for 1 night. It has been a very long day for all of us. Why don’t you girls go to find your rooms and go to bed? The girls fled.

“You’ll just let those girls off the hook.” Louise frowned.

“The room seems fine and I don’t feel like being a teacher right now.” Zelda took off her jewelry. “All I want is a warm bath before Faustus comes up.”

“Should I run it for you?”

“What for?” Zelda smiled as both witches heard the water running.

“Showoff! I’ll just find your nightgown and leave it on the bed.

“Thank you.” Zelda grabbed a cigarette from her purse and the ashtray and headed into the bathroom. She turned off the tap and stripped. It felt so good to lower her body into the water and took a puff. 20 minutes later, Zelda toweled off and was putting on her nightgown when she heard a  baby cry. She went into the next room to find another schoolgirl having trouble calming Judas. Zelda settled the girl and then took both bassinette and baby back to her own room. She changed him fed him and rock him to sleep while she sat by the fire.

“There, my little one, all you wanted was food and sleep. Just like the rest of  us.”

 2 hours! It took 2 hours for Faustus to escape that damn rec hall! It’s amazing how a little free-flowing wine could turn silent monks into huge asses! They could do whatever they wanted but he had a bride and a baby waiting for him.   Faustus doubled checked that everyone was where they should be before he dismissed the boys. He walked into his room and stopped at the breathtaking scene. His baby boy, asleep and happy and in the arms of the woman who should have borne him, the only woman Faustus Blackwood had ever and would ever love. The light of the fire bounced off Zelda’s wedding ring.

Are you seeing this, Edward? Faustus wondered to himself. He had seen and heard a lot of Edward Spellman’s ghost lately. Even today, at the wedding, he knew it was Sabrina,  because her father was already there, off to the side, glaring at even him before Zelda came down the aisle.  It was just too ironic that it was the same glare that Faustus had used when Edward had married him to Constance. What he never told Edward, what Faustus never told anyone that he had only been able to complete that farce wedding to Constance by mentally transforming the bride’s ebony skin to ivory and her black hair to red. Faustus had said his marriage vows to Zelda that day, not Constance. The fantasy was over, however, as soon as Zelda opened her mouth and spoke with Constance’s voice. That day, Faustus lost something truly precious. He tried to get it back by sleeping with half the coven, but he only ever came close when he saw Zelda, be it at mass or around Greendale. He never felt whole again until that night he kissed Zelda by the fire. He was reborn at that moment. After making love, he vowed never to lose Zelda again. It was right after that night that Edward started to pop up everywhere.  Faustus didn’t understand why until after Constance died that it became clear; not even Edward Spellman, hell’s own golden boy, the man who had broken all the rules and gotten away with it, could cheat  Faustus of his fate and that fate was Zelda. True, this wedding day had not gone according to plan, but he couldn’t blame Edward for it. No, that blame went to Edward’s blond brat. It that girl had, for once,  minded her own business and not gave Enoch Edward’s manifesto which had appeared out of nowhere after 16 years, Faustus wouldn’t have had to kill that Edward fanatic and could have actually enjoyed his wedding day instead of dodging Spellmans left and right and wedding the love of his life in the everyday setting of his office but none of that mattered now. The only Spellman who truly mattered was now a Blackwood and was asleep in the chair before him. Faustus knelt before them, trying to commit this perfect memory of his sleeping wife and son to his mind forever. When Judas began to fuss, Faustus stood and tried to ease him from Zelda’s lap without waking her. He was unsuccessful.

“Oh!” Zelda woke with a start.

“Hi. It’s okay, I got him.” He smiled and kissed her.

“Okay.” She kissed him back.

He put his already back to sleep son in his bassinet and carried it over to the bed. “Dearest, why didn’t you relax in bed? You would have been  more comfortable.”

Zelda got up and followed him. “Faustus, I realized that nothing about our wedding day was traditional, but I’ll be damned if I went to bed alone on my wedding night.”

He went to her. “In that case, Lady Blackwood, you’re overdressed.” He pushed back her robe and kissed her neck as the robe fell the floor. He did love her neck. Zelda teased him more than once about being a vampire because he was always kissing or sucking on her neck. So much so that if he spotted Zelda wearing a heavy necklace or a high collar, he knew she was hiding a hickey. They undressed each other and made love as passionately as they were still having a secret affair. Faustus didn’t remember falling asleep, but the baby’s cries woke him. He got up, settled the infant and then turned and stared at  Zelda, naked in bed, her red hair fanned out on her pillow and best of all, his ring on her finger. Why is the love of my life Edward’s sister? Faustus wondered for the millionth time. Why must she be a Spellman? Faustus wasn’t a fool. To destroy Edward’s family, once he returned to Greendale, Faustus knew that he had to remove Zelda, the true Zelda, from the situation, at least for a little while and that was a huge risk and his greatest fear. He pushed the thought away and as he got back in bed, Faustus noticed his wedding ring and smiled. He had convinced Constance that he just wasn’t a ring person, but the truth was that his 1st marriage was no true union. Now, he would proudly wear Zelda’s ring for the rest of his life. It was only now, this moment in time, in a dark hotel room, with rain falling on the roof, with his son 3 feet away and his wife in his arms, that Faustus Blackwood was truly happy.

[atruththatyoudeny]

Monthly Reads | August 2019

Oh, look, it's the 28th again! Celebrating the launch of Gucci's new fragrance and the fantastic new pics I had to reread Landslide. Other than that there are 21 fics in this list - and like always: so many thanks go out to all the amazing authors in this fandom who share their stories with us! ♥

Landslide | aimmyarrowshigh , spibsy (lucy_and_ramona) | historical - 1970s - cults - undercover - psychological drama - racism - period typical attitudes - internalized homophobia - PTSD - and more...please read all the tags carefully - 143k The year is 1976. In November, Jimmy Carter will take control of the White House. Americans are meeting Laverne & Shirley at their apartment in Milwaukee. Hotel California diverges from the reign of Kool & the Gang. And the FBI is still reeling from the repercussions of Watergate, the tragedy at Wounded Knee, Operation Family Secrets, and the strategic terrors of the anti-cult movement. That's what Special Agent Harry Styles has been told is the basis of his mission to an abandoned farmhouse in rural New Hampshire. With his hair grown out long and his shirt untucked, he's going undercover to do reconnaissance on suspected cult leader Louis Tomlinson, who has led a group of people out into the middle of nowhere, leaving no record of the life he'd had before. All Harry knows is what the agency gave him: Tomlinson's name, and instructions to figure out what he's doing with the eleven people he brought with him. In the year that Harry spends undercover and under Louis Tomlinson's wing, he learns more than he ever expected.

I Drove All Night (To Get To You) | lovelarry10 | famous/not famous - strangers to lovers - pining - fluff - 23k Harry’s job as a chauffeur for the rich and famous was not as flashy as he’d thought. Late nights having to listen to the ridiculous demands and whims of these high profile clients leaves him disheartened with the world he thought was all glitz and glamour. One night his boss asks him a favour. To collect one last client before he clocks off. Only problem is when that client gets into the car it’s Louis Tomlinson. As in Harry’s all time crush. As in future husband and father of all his children Louis Tomlinson. He can be cool and professional, right?

Live Like You Were Dying | YesIsAWorld | car accidents - love confessions - self discovery - 2k I’m in love with you. The phone fell from his hand, and the world went black.

Calling Clifford | noellehenry | fluff - humor - 10k The summer AU where Clifford has his own peculiar ways of matchmaking.

Home Remedies | kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) | friends to lovers - smut - 4k Louis’ hiccups just won’t stop. Harry, his roommate and best friend, is willing to do anything to help.

Traffic Light | dinosaursmate | Traffic Light Party - smut - friends with benefits - 7k Harry, a university student fresh out of a relationship, attends a Traffic Light Party. He knew all about the red, yellow and green cups, but the blue one confuses him. What does DTF mean, anyway?

Down On the Farm | kingsofeverything (FullOnLarrie) | bonfires - farm/ranch - smut - 5k Every Friday night there's a steady cloud of dust That leads back to a field filled with pickup trucks Got old Hank crankin', way up loud Got coolers in the back, tailgates down There's a big fire burnin' but don't be alarmed It's just country boys and girls gettin' down on the farm — “Down On the Farm” by Tim McGraw

Driving On The Wrong Side, Thinking Of You | dinosaursmate | Marcel AU - implied/ referenced homophobia - High School AU - friends to lovers - promiscuity - 25k Louis is the most popular guy in sixth form. Don't get the wrong idea, he's a good guy, and he absolutely won't stand for his friends teasing his neighbour, Marcel.

Restless Lane | jaerie | a/b/o - secret identity - childhood friends - secrets - friends to lovers - angst - 14k Louis had grown used to his boring life back in Mississippi as a stand-in father figure to his siblings. He never expected his childhood friend to show up on his lawn with the heat of summer or that he would remind Louis how much of himself he'd tucked away and neglected. He also never expected to find himself caught up in a tangled web of feelings or secrets that just might break him. Maybe he had never known Harry at all.

Waiting for the tides to meet | nauticalleeds (metamorphosis) | soulmates - pining - miscommunication - angst - fluff - friends to lovers - slow burn - 60k Soulmate AU. Everyone is born with heterochromia — one eye is their own eye colour, while the other is the colour of their soulmate's. It's only when they meet their soulmate for the first time that their own eyes match properly. After a hazy night at a frat party, Louis wakes up to blue eyes and the shocking realization that he had met his soulmate, without any sober recollection. Seven years pass where Louis comes to terms with the fact that he'll never know who his soulmate is. Then one fated summer, a beautiful green-eyed photographer arrives at Louis' workplace, with promises of endless laughter and a familiar feeling in Louis' heart. Featuring a lovely cup of OT5, a road trip down the coast, and a scene where Harry eats a whole head of lettuce. Don't ask why.

If I Stay | Rearviewdreamer | Walk In The Clouds AU - fake/pretend relationship - mpreg - slow burn - 37k Harry and Louis agree to a temporary arrangement that Harry can't seem to walk away from no matter how many times he tries.

Mirror Touch | pinky_heaven19 | Synesthesia - hurt/comfort - fluff - pining - strangers to lovers - 58k The one where Harry owns a second-hand clothing store, and Louis is a radio host. Louis has mirror-touch synesthesia, which makes him experience what people around him feel. He feels a lot around Harry.

In Your Black Heart (Is Where You'll Find Me) | graceling_in_a_suit | a/b/o - omega/omega - pirates - historical - 36k Louis Tomlinson has been lying for five years. His crew sees him as a pirate, a Captain, and an alpha; only two of those are the truth. He was content to let the illusion go on forever, but an omega named Harry Styles just had to join his crew and get his warm-vanilla stink all over Louis' best laid plans. Or: the story of The Captain and The Carpenter.

Supposed to Be | kikikryslee | High School - stereotypes - enemies to friends to lovers - slow burn - hate to love - 26k The Geek Charming AU where Harry's a film geek, Louis' a popular jock, and they both need each other to get what they want.

Meet me where the tulips grow | tempolarriefics | study abroad - fluff - 19k The one where Harry studies abroad and falls in love with both the city of Amsterdam and the boy he explores it with.

When i'm set alight | mixedfandomfics | teacher AU - hate to love - misunderstandings - 14k Louis and Harry hate each other. Always have, always will. No one is quite sure how they will handle it when their favorite students ask them to lead a new LGBT club at their school.

Breathe In, Breathe Out | dinosaursmate | friends to lovers - pining - 12k Louis Tomlinson begins visiting a new pub on his lunch break, mostly because he really fancies Harry, the cute, curly-haired barman. As Louis gears up to ask him out, he doesn't realise that there is a huge stumbling block in his way: Harry is taken, and by someone rather familiar.

I am mad all about you | godslut | med students - coffe shop - 5k Harry is a pre-med student trying to quit coffee. louis pretends to be spider-man to make kids laugh.

Welcome Back From The Friend Zone | 2tiedships2 | a/b/o - friends to lovers - fake/pretend relationship - mutual pining - 32k The one where an idea to create a fake wedding with the sole intent to receive gifts from billionaires took a turn no one, but also everyone, saw coming.

A Life That's Good (series) | lovelarry10 | fluff - kid fic - adoption - light angst - 66k Harry and Louis were married young, but always knew that they wanted a family together. Soon, through adoption, Hope came into their lives, and was later joined by her younger brother Oscar. Join the Tomlinsons on their journey in family life. ①  You're My Only Hope Harry and Louis have been hoping to start a family for a while, but it hasn't happened for them just yet. With the surprise arrival of a newborn baby on the doorstep at work, are their family dreams about to become reality? ②  Tiny Dancer It's Hope's first ballet recital, and Harry and Louis are more than excited to watch their four year old daughter perform for the first time. ③  Who You Are Things are going wonderfully for Harry and Louis. Their family has never been stronger. When a connection to their son’s past appears out of nowhere, it makes them wonder what lies ahead for the future of their family. ④  We Got Love Harry and Louis thought their family was complete. They were wrong. ⑤  Follow Your Arrow Hope has a crush, but she’s scared to tell her parents, especially Louis. Harry helps her figure out how to break the news to her other dad, who is ultimately nothing but wonderful. ⑥  Summer Love The Tomlinsons are off on a summer holiday before it’s time for everything to change...

Night Changes | colourexplosion | soulmates - supernatural elements - werewolves - light angst - 40k Louis and Harry are soulmates. (With a twist.)

From The Heart | jacaranda_bloom | coffee shop AU - 25k Every Tuesday, Louis spends his day off holed up in his favorite coffee-come-bookshop, writing his little stories as part of the WordPlay challenge while daydreaming about the resident barista, Harry. Each week a new word prompt is revealed and Louis adds to his series of short stories about Henry, the owner of a B&B in the Cotswolds who has curly hair and dimples, Lewis, his long term guest who just happens to be a writer, and Tigger, Henry’s cat. As Louis and Harry’s friendship develops, could his fantasy world spill out into real life? And how does that reader who leaves the lovely comments with the teacup emoji seem to be able to read Louis’ mind? ①  Henry and Lewis Louis hangs out in his local coffee shop to work on his weekly WordPlay Prompt, speaks to his beloved muse aka Harry the gorgeous barista, embarrasses himself in front of said muse, and receives a comment on AO3 from his favourite reader. ②  Smuturday Louis struggles with this week's WordPlay prompt before finding inspiration, and a date, in an unexpected place, and could there be more going on with his favourite reader than he originally thought. ③  Tea For Two Louis grapples with what to do about his new found suspicions over his favourite readers real-life identity. ④  Life Imitating Art Louis is taken on a very real journey through his fic back catalogue - life has never imitated art so salaciously. ⑤  Entertain Me All good things must come to an end, including the WordPlay challenge. But while Louis has mixed emotions about its end, and struggling to make sense of the final prompt, he is relishing every aspect of his newly revitalised personal life.

[softforcal]

Okay okay. How about the classic Slytherin x Hufflepuff relationship between Slytherin!cal and Hufflepuff!reader??

SLYTHERIN!CAL X HUFFLEPUFF READER

-this got requested like 10 times so here we go lol

-Slytherin Cal is the Slytherin Prince

-he’s gorgeous. captain of his Quidditch team. the Hood family is a Slytherin legacy. he’s smart. he has girls at his feet 24/7. he’s living the life.

-everything comes easy to him

-and then he meets you

-you’re the sweetest little Hufflepuff he’s ever met

-too sweet

-so sweet that the first time you meet him, after a Slytherin Quidditch win, you have no idea he’s flirting with you

-Cal is shook because he thinks you’re friend-zoning him

-like, he tells a joke and you laugh and reach up and squeeze his cheek, “you’re so funny.”

-this boy flushes like it’s nobodies business

-and you don’t even notice cuz you’re just a happy lil Puff

-you walk away and Calum’s buddies come up to him and are like “did that girl seriously just squeeze your cheek?” “better question, did you LET that Puff squeeze your cheek?”

-Calum is still shook

-cuz he’s the gorgeous Slytherin who makes girl melt

-squeezing peoples cheeks is HIS move

-he thinks about you all night

-the next day he sees you in the hallway and comes to walk next to you, “hey Puff.”

-”hey there!” you smile

-you talk for a bit while walking to the great hall and when you get there you’re just like “you know, people always say you’re scary but you’re really not. i think we’re going to be great friends.”

-did you just friend zone him.

-Cal stands there in shock because that seemed like a hard friend zone

-and he has never been friend zoned before

-ever

-it totally hurts his pride a bit

-he goes to his table and everyones like “so you and Y/N?” and he’s just like “i think she friend zoned me.” and they’re all shook

-the entire group staring at you and you wave from your table because you’re just a happy puff who think you and Cal gon be friends

-like. he’s gorgeous and you’d be down, but you’re an unassuming puff

-and Calum is determined to not be in the friend zone, so the next class he has with you, he sits next to you

-”hey!” you grin

-conversation is easy with him

-like, he’s so confused that it’s so easy

-and you’re so cute

-he is so soft for you already

-and he actually kind of enjoys getting to know you like a friend

-cuz usually with girls he’s going for sex so….

-like other than his three best friends he doesn’t have many actual friends, just acquaintances

-and just like that, he actually starts hanging out with you as buds

-and yeah, part of him is still hurt cuz he’s friend zoned, but like… meh, it is what it is

-Calum would respect it

-so you actually become buds

-and people are sorta shocked because Cal has that scary reputation but there he is with his lil Puff

-like people are shook that you two are friends

-and his other Slytherin buds completely accept you too

-and none of them ever bring it up but its definitely an underlining joke that Cal is friend-zoned

-but then slowly each one of them makes a pass at you and gets friend-zoned too so…

-like Luke coming into the common room and he’s just like “and she fucking friend-zoned me too.” and everyone laughs because same

-we’re talking so friend zoned you literally help them each get girls

-so you’ve been buds for a month or two and you’re at a Slytherin afterparty after a Quidditch game and Luke is drunk as fuck and comes over and sees that you’re looking at Calum talking to a girl and is just like “its hilarious that you friend-zoned him. thats never happened before.”

-and you’re like “what?”

-”you friend-zoned him.” Luke states and you’re just like “no i didn’t. he friend-zoned me.” and Luke’s like “no he fucking did not.”

-you both turn to look at Calum and Luke just grabs you and is like “be happy little butterfly! tell him he’s not friend zoned!” and then pushes you in Calum’s direction

-drunk Luke thinks he’s a matchmaker

-”wait Luke! does he even like me?!” you ask

-”pfff oBVIOUSLY!” Luke pushes you harder

-so you walk over to Calum who’s just like “there’s my best bud” cuz you’re THAT friendly with each other

-and you’re just like “see this is why i thought you friend-zoned me!”

-and he looks down at you and is like “no you friend-zoned me.”

-”did not!”

-”did too!”

-”did not!

-and then he just grabs your face and kisses you and you just melt into it

-because you both have been holding back this entire time to be respectful but now you dont have to

-its really passionate. all this pent up tension

-you two are so lost in each other, it’s not until his hand goes down to your ass that you realize holy fuck you’re in public

-and you pull away, pushing on his chest and laughing as he grins, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you to his chest

-”fuck, thank god i’m not friend-zoned anymore.” he teases

-”you never were!” you insist

-”sure.” he says sarcastically, rolling his eyes and making you laugh as you cuddle closer

-all his buds watch and Luke’s just like “and that is how you play cupid.” because this Slytherin fuck was not drunk at all and it was a meticulously planned assault

-no one’s seen Calum so soft before

-and he’s never had to wait to kiss someone for so long so boi straight up saw fireworks

-and you being in his arms is chill, but he misses your lips after like a minute

-but also, who would have fucking known that having a cute puff in his arms would make him smile so much?

-like he always wanted to be more than friends but even just as friends he was so happy so now he’s just like… woah this is next level

-so he’s out of the friend zone which is chill but now he’s gotta figure out how to get to the boyfriend zone

-you spend the whole night together, his arms around you as you goof off with his friends and stuff like normal, but you’re both GLOWING

-it just feels like you’re a couple already

-and he knows it would be SO EASY with you

-because, fuck, he adores you so much

-and he’s never had that

-you finally need to head out and he offers to walk you back to your common room

-talking on the way back about why you both thought you were in the friend zone

-”you started it when you pinched my cheek the first time we met and then called me a friend the next morning.” he points out

-okay… so like… true “but i’m a Hufflepuff! thats a thing we do!”

-”i have never seen a Hufflepuff do that so now i know you’re lying.”

-laughing a lot

-getting back to your common room and you turn to hug Calum like you always do when he cups your face and kisses you again

-he gets you wedged between his body and the wall

-and boy is kissing you like his life depends on that shit

-you’re the air he needs to BREATH

-his mouth goes down to your neck and you have to stop yourself from moaning and you’re just like holy fuck, Slytherins are into public stuff but woah

-its kind of a mind fuck because ya’ll were just friends but oof, this Slytherin boy is sexy as shit

-and he is an amazing kisser

-you finally pull away and he’s just like “lets go on a date.”

-you agree and move to go into your common room but he steals one last kiss before flashing a cheeky grin and a wink while you leave

-you both freak out as soon as your out of each others sights

-like this guy is used to getting attention and being at the top of the world but you’re a little slice of heaven, and he intends to get full entry to your gates if you know what i mean with this oddly specific and weird metaphor

-anyways

-you guys are still buds so you hang out like normal and the date is pretty chill too, like you two have gone to get butterbeer SO MANY TIMES but this time is different because he holds your hand on the walk down and insists on paying for you

-and you two are already so comfortable so it feels like any other day, except he’s touching you more and you are LOVING it

-this boi doesn’t even LOOK at other girls anymore

-walking back up to the castle and he’s just like “wanna just be my girlfriend? i know we’ve only had one date but-”

-“yes.” you answer before he can finish his sentence

-he kisses you, lifting you off the ground and spinning you a little before setting you down, a huge smile on his face

-who would have fucking known that all it takes to get a Slytherin like Cal to become soft is a squishy lil puff?

-it just makes sense for both of you

-its just a wholesome friendship that includes kissing

-so much teasing still

-not much even changes except the kissing tbh

-and then for his first game since you became official he gives you his scarf which is like… swoon am i right?

-you’ve always felt pride watching him play because he’s amazing but this is next level

-coming onto the field when he wins and he just lifts you up bridal style and spins you around and makes you laugh and is just the softest munchkin

-everyone is so shook at how soft he is

-but he gets serious fast

-like if anyone makes any sort of anti-hufflepuff remark, Calum will cut a bitch

-he’s the new leader of the protect hufflepuff squad

-he has a resting bitch face but as soon as you show up he melts

-so people always know when you enter a room because his entire body just relaxes and he smiles at you

-”there’s my girl.”

-umf. like, protective possessive Slytherin but also super soft

-and he will fight anyone who fucks with you

-like as soon as he sees you upset he’s like “who do i have to fuck up?”

-this bitch will straight up employ Michael to help prank a teacher if they give you a bad mark

-and Michael is always down to prank teachers

-yeah, boy always offers to fuck people up and you usually think he’s joking and laugh it off and he usually doesn’t actually fuck people up, but he WILL if you ever were really hurt

-sleep overs in his bedroom where you stay up late cuddling and talking about life

-tracing his muggle tattoos and asking him if they hurt. he tries to show you wha the pain is like but can’t bring himself to actually hurt you and ends up laughing and pulling away

-can you imagine you’re first time where he’s pulled away because he doesn’t want to hurt you while showing you what a tat would feel like and you’re just like “it’s okay. if you hurt me.”

-this boy just freezes

-and stares at you for a long while

-then he’s kissing you roughly and pressing you into the bed with his body

-and he’s going hard and rough but you’re loving it because he’s your Slytherin dom babe

-tearing your clothes off and going to town

-he would definitely make you cum with just his mouth first because babies gotta show off dat Slytherin tongue if you know what i mean ;)

-he honestly thought the first time you fucked would be more Hufflepuff-y and sweet and slow and passionate but you telling him he could hurt you got him feeling some sorta way fam and he can’t even stop himself

-and your sounds are driving him wild

-he’s super into the whole innocent Hufflepuff being kinky for him

-dirty talk about it

-”you like that puff? you like being defiled by a Slytherin?”

-of course he’s gotta bring houses into it because its a classic Slytherin move

-its amazing

-even asking him to leave the rings on while choking or spanking and he has to actually stop for a moment to collect himself because FUCK

-afterwards you both cuddle and it’s super soft and Hufflepuffy and he’s just like holy fuck was not expecting that

-this would just be a very wholesome relationship fam

-a strong, protective asshole who’s soft just for his sweet lil Puff

-im here for it is all i’m saying.

[borzoidt]

Supernatural Meta for 15x01 Back and to the Future

So this is my first time writing meta, but after watching that first episode I had to write some of my first thoughts coming into the final season!

Dean and Belphagor

Okay so, I’ve read some meta about Belphagor, and I really liked the ideas @verobatto-angelxhunter had on Belphagor being a matchmaker of sorts, and I’ve read from a fiew others that they think Belphagor is an expositional pawn of sorts in order to gain reconciliation between Dean and Cas. I love this idea, and I think it makes a lot of sense. I think destiel is getting really textual, and the fight seems like it could be leading to a romantic relationship.

However, when I watched the episode I for sure was coming up with very different ideas surrounding Belpagor, and Dean. So, the scene everyone’s talking about with them in Baby talking about relationships, and beautiful people. I’m not one to abandon ships, especially not one like destiel, but man was it pretty clear that Belphagor was hard core crushing on Dean, OR he was attempting to manipulate him. The way he drops the ‘gorgeous’ comment, and Dean’s reaction are very telling. Dean diverts the subject, but not in a sarcastic or cynical way. He really changes subject because he doesn’t get called gorgeous a lot, it surprised him, but in a weird way it didn’t feel like he minded. If you didn’t notice Dean follows up the compliment with “When are you gonna get out of that body?” And I have a feeling it might be because getting hit on by a demon that’s possessing your kid might make you feel uncomfortable. I also love how Belphagor isn’t your traditional demon, he’s different than any we’ve seen before. I don’t remember where I read it, but I loved the comparison that he was sloth incarnate. He likes shortcuts in his spells, and making things easy, emphasizing on ‘blending’ and keeping things the same in Hell. I also love how in the car scene he says sorry for Dean’s loss. It’s actually very refreshing to see a demon that’s laid back, and interested in humanity. Most demons on the show wanted to act like their humanity was ripped from them, but Belphagor takes his humanity in stride, talking about his past, and being openly considerate and attentive to people’s feelings. Like when he asked if Castiel wanted to “talk about it.” Sorry if that got tangential, I just see a lot of potential for this character. I also saw a LOT of potential for Dean and his relatiohship. Looking past the gorgeous compliment there’s the scene where Belphagor talks about hell. I’m really fascinated by this conversation. The comment “it wasn’t torture it was art” was taken way differently than I thought it would be. Dean has always seemed ashamed of his time in hell, and Belphagor erased that shame and complimented him on something he was demonized (ha) for greatly. Belphagor having been in the same situation as Dean mean he can relate in a way nobody else has in the show thus far. It makes me wonder how Dean really felt about his time in hell. He asks how it is down there as if he genuinely wants to know how for the sake of hell itself. This is a side of Dean we’ve never seen before, a huge time in his life never totally unpacked.

Okay, so maybe I have a new backup ship because destiel seems to be sinking, but here me out; Dean has never been able to reconcile the darker parts of himself. He tortured people in hell, and he liked it because the people in hell deserved it. This part of himself has never meshed with Cas and Sam. Always on the outside, never ’good’ enough for his angel. He was the ‘righteous’ man, and I think it’s time to reconcile the fact that he’s got some less than righteous thoughts and questionable morals. His reaction to Cas’s distress was almost demon-like, and his attitude around Belphagor was so relaxed it was striking how comfortable he was especially since Belphagor is possessing him.

So I do want to address the fact that Belphagor is a foil for Jack, he is everything Jack isn’t. He’s unimportant, easy-going, and he isn’t loyal at all. So I can see him as more of a son to Dean, but the gorges comment certainly pulls away from that realm of thought and takes it somewhere a little strange. Could Belphagor be Dean’s love interest? They have chemistry, but while he’s possessing Jack’s corpse it’s hard to say. I want destiel as much as the next guy, but I don’t hate the idea that Belphagor is a more of a rebound with feelings attached. Dean is certainly angry with Cas right now, and I don’t know how that will be reconciled.

Cas

Okay, so Cas in this epsiode. He is so separated from Dean and Cas it’s like next level. Sam siding with Dean every time, Cas being anti anything with a demon because he’s desecrating his corpse. Every insult thrown Belphagor’s way felt like it was for Dean in this episode, because a part of Cas still feels like it’s dean’s fault. I’m waiting for this reconciliation, and I know it’ll be slow going. I think Rowena, and Belphagor will certainly help with that. Cas is really struggling right now, and I don’t know how to help him, it’s so strained, and I think that’s good. Cas needs to have expectations, he’s a part of this too. I can’t wait to see more of his growth this season.

Sam

Love Sam, he’s same old same old. He’s injured of course in the first episode with that crazy gunshot, no way he’s getting out of that one. Love that he faced his fear of clowns silently, if you didn’t know before you wouldn’t be able to tell even if it was clear in Jared’s acting that he was spooked. I’m loving this easy middle thing Sam has going on. He’s the well adjusted one here. I like that his character development over the series really shines in his maturity. Sam’s got it figured out. Also for sure he’s going to get with Rowena by the end, I feel it in my bones.

Okay, so my predictions for now; Belphagor is going to switch into a new vessel (I had a fleeting thought that maybe he wanted Dean for a vessel because of the gorgeous comment, but I don’t think so) this will happen soon for sure. Or he’ll die, and my spirit will die with him. Sam’s gonna end up with Rowena after he almost dies. Dean’s probably gonna be a demon, actually Sam might just straight up die, so. I’m not too sure about Cas we didn’t get too much on his feelings yet. Jack will probably come back to life after he and Billie figure some stuff out. Adam and Michael will for sure be the main antagonists of the season. 

Overall I’m super excited for this season, and whatever happens I hope it’s good!! 

@metafest

[dentalrecordsmusic]

RIOT RIOT RIOT Fest: A Retrospective (Sept. 13-15th)

Words and photos by Ari Jindracek.

Anyone who has spoken to me since the Riot Fest lineup was announced could tell you, probably with a grimace, how excited I was for Riot Fest. The ones I talked to more would probably mention the acts I was looking forward to in the next breath. A music festival for the music I love, in the city I love? To say I was looking forward to this would be a gross understatement. However, I was not prepared, at all, for what Riot Fest would actually be like. 

The first thing you need to know about Riot Fest if you've never gone is that it's not just about the shows. There are carnival rides. There are people on stilts. There is more free Pedialyte than you can drink. There's a sculpture of John Stamos made of butter for reasons I can't begin to fathom. The official name on the stage dressings was Riot Fest and Carnival, and that's pretty apt: I was basically going to a carnival for three straight days. Did I ride the rides, you ask? No, because it was 5 bucks for one go on the Tilt-a-Whirl. The ambiance, though, was really fun to be a part of. That probably contributed to Riot Fest being the only fest where I've ever made connections with people. I got two phone numbers (three if you count fellow editor Cae Rosch as someone I met at Riot Fest, even though we'd talked online beforehand) and a business card for someone's Etsy store, and I chatted less at length with probably a dozen people. There was a real sense of kinship in the crowd. People would actually save your barricade spot, and, during Microwave on Saturday, a clump of people actually helped me fight my way forward in the crowd. Maybe it was just my crowds or my blind luck, but I felt supported at Riot Fest, both by my fellows in the front rows and by the staff who gave me extra cherry Pedialyte because I said it was my favorite. 

People don't go to Riot Fest just because of Butter Stamos, though (at least, I don't think so). I, like everyone else, was there for the music. At the barricade before shows (and oh, was I at the barricade), people would sometimes ask each other, "Who's your band?" Mine was Senses Fail, who, in an expression of love or maybe good publicity, were playing two sets as a way of compensating for the Chicago date they were forced to cancel during the polar vortex earlier this year. The other acts I wanted to see above others included Frank Iero and the Future Violents, Against Me!, Rise Against, and Glassjaw. I planned around these six sets; about half of the bands I cover here were bands I saw because their set was on while I was camping a stage. This is not the only approach to Riot Fest, and it probably isn't even the best, but it's the one I took. Due to the sheer volume of bands I saw, I will focus only on the ones I found most notable since if I wrote at length about all of them, this review would be a 20-page essay. All sets were excellent in their own way, even if they weren't my favorites; at no point did I wish I was seeing another set, though. Every band I saw, though hugely different, was stellar. They wouldn't be on the bill otherwise.

On day one, I missed the first band at the Radicals stage by minutes; I don't often miss openers, so I felt awful, but the dispersal of the crowd after the set left me a wide-open spot leaning against the barricade. Here I met my first Riot Fest buddy (shout out to Salem) and saw Anti-Flag, whose music I had not heard at all before. They immediately cemented themselves in my good books, not only because their music was terrific, but also because they talked at length about the current political hell America finds itself in with a conviction that their crowd was going to change it. I almost started crying during their speech about gun violence, and again when they talked about how distraction politics are screwing over disadvantaged communities. I also collected from them my first ever setlist, by bartering for it with my first ever band guitar pick. (The setlist has a chunk ripped out of it, which is why the person next to me was willing to trade it. Their loss.)

Senses Fail was the next band up, but I'll talk about both of their sets at the same time. After spending my time at Radicals stage, I bounced around the festival a bit: I grabbed some merch and a giant funnel cake, then tried to watch Dashboard Confessional but couldn't get a spot that wasn't behind the light and sound tent, where people were having drunk conversations. The next set I saw, my last of day one, was Glassjaw. I was lucky that they were playing Worship and Tribute because that's the only one of their albums I've listened to enough to know any lyrics. As this was an album play set timed almost exactly to the length of the album, there wasn't a lot of time for the band to interact with the crowd. Glassjaw played a steadier set rather than a harder set, as is their style. To my memory, there wasn't a lot of crowd surfing or moshing (although this might not necessarily be true; I was in the outskirts of the crowd). Trappings aside, the album was amazing live. The crowd clearly knew the words to the songs -- one perk of knowing the exact setlist ahead of time -- and the mix of long, sustained notes with the rich instrumentals was stunning. 

The second day of Riot Fest, I got to Douglas Park comfortably early (aka, before the gates were opened) and headed for Rebel Stage as soon as I could. This was 11AM. I would be camping there until about 7PM, minus a short bathroom and water break. The first band on Rebel Stage was Monarchy Over Monday, which was a notable act to me for two reasons. First of all, they were all high school students and the youngest band at this year's Riot Fest. Second, the head of my department at work knows their parents. (The head of my department was there. Let me tell you, it's a bit weird to see your boss's boss's boss in overalls and a band shirt while she tells you how to properly break in your new Docs). I'll admit I wasn't expecting Monarchy Over Monday to shred, but they wouldn't be playing Riot Fest if they weren't good, and they were very good. The only thing I thought they were really lacking was stage presence, but that was only to be expected since they didn't have the longest history of big shows to pull from. They're good and I'm sure they'll learn. 

The Rebel stage stayed pretty low-key until just before The Damned Things came on. Like, I would bet, a lot of the other members of the crowd, I'd heard of The Damned Things as the side project of Fall Out Boy members Joe Trohman and Andy Hurley. Beyond this, I went in aware of all of one of their songs, and I'd pulled that from the official Riot Fest playlist. (Honestly, I was only prepared for 3, maybe 4 of the sets I saw at Riot Fest. I didn't know anything about anyone. It's hard to research bands when your default is listening to the same album on Spotify until you wear it out). I can easily say that I enjoyed watching The Damned Things more than I've ever enjoyed a Fall Out Boy show, and that's without the emotional investment and the lyrics in my head. The band played hard and the crowd went hard. The frontman chatted and joked with the audience (I can remember that he played matchmaker for a friendship between two dads who had never met) and the music, including that one song I knew, was fun to hear, to clap along with, and to sing when possible. 

The colossal crowd stuck around for Microwave next (I barely remember their set, so focused was I on not falling over as I tried to claw my way back to the spot I'd asked someone to save while I got water and then over as I fought my way back to the barricade) and then Senses Fail. Now, I've been listening to Senses Fail with the fervor of obsession, on the day of writing this, since August, with breaks of a few days at the most. I'm not the best at learning lyrics, but I could sing at least the chorus of every single song they pulled out over two sets. Three of their members keep liking my tweets. You could say I'm biased in Senses Fail's favor as I write this. But, with two high energy, high caliber sets, how could I not be? On day one, they played all of Let It Enfold You, one of their most popular albums, and on day two, the remastered version of their first release, From the Depths of Dreams; the popular single "Can't Be Saved" was also featured on both days. 

The stage show featured Buddy Nielsen doing dances that clearly marked him as a dad, but, like, a cool dad, and twirling and throwing his microphone with such confidence that I never once worried he'd drop it. I will not pretend to be unbiased in my analysis of Senses Fail’s set. I have been listening to their music in days-long bursts since July. I had tickets to see their canceled show over the winter. Senses Fail’s sets were the ones I was most looking forward to, and I was not disappointed. True, like Glassjaw, they did not have much time to interact with fans. Beyond introducing the band and a few songs, there was hardly any audience interaction (I managed to interact with the band, though, since I was at barricade; during one of the songs on From the Depths of Dreams, I gave frontman Buddy Nielsen a little wave and he waved back at me in abject confusion). I can hardly remember looking anywhere other than back to see if I needed to hold anyone or up at the dervish that was Buddy Nielsen for the two sets. 

Everyone on stage looked like they were having the time of their lives; I would routinely catch them smiling bright, though they’d usually get back into their music before I could get a picture. It wasn’t just a good set musically, it was fun to watch and fun to be a part of. I happened to make friends before Senses Fail on both days, too (shout out to Salem and Jace), so I was enjoying the show with people I knew. In my crowning moment of Riot Fest glory, I got a hand on Senses Fail’s day two setlist; I ended up sharing it with my new concert pal, because I’m a nice person, but I don’t think I have ever cherished a piece of paper more. If Senses Fail had played on Sunday, too, or any other day after Riot Fest, I would drop anything to go see them (as of writing, they’re still on tour, so go see them and record a video for me if they play “Blackout”).

The final act I saw on day two was Rise Against, the only band on the lineup I’ve covered before. This marked the third time I had seen Rise Against in a single year, and it was, for obvious reasons, drastically different than the other two sets of theirs I had seen. What I remember most isn’t the songs they played -- singles, mostly, as one does at Riot Fest -- but the way they talked about their hometown of Chicago. Frontman Tim said that he grew up near Douglas Park, the site of the festival, and later talked about writing “Swing Life Away” (my favorite Rise Against song) in a neighborhood near the one I currently live in. As a resident of Chicago, I always love hearing people talk about it and hearing the joy with which the frontman of the band talked about his home, which had come out to support him in a big way, was more powerful to me than hearing “Savior” again. The music was great, obviously. The music was just not what I was thinking about; I was thinking about my place in time, at my first music festival in the city I consider my home.

On the third day, I arrived early again, got water, and made a beeline for the only stage I had not yet spent any time at, the Rise stage, to camp out for Frank Iero and the Future Violents. I got there maybe fifteen minutes after the first people were admitted for the day and couldn’t get a spot at the barricade. Two bands (Ultra Q, which I had heard of in former incarnation Mt. Eddy, and highly-sensual ska band Save Ferris) played beforehand, but the crowd didn’t thin as people, myself included, craned their necks, searching for the Future Violents’ uniforms. The crowd was different than the acts I had been front-and-center for on the previous two days: they were louder before the band actually came on, cheering for the band members as they came on stage to check their levels, and more subdued for the first half of the set, refraining from mosh pits and crowd surfing entirely, despite the cutthroat wave of people trying to get as far forward as possible, crushing me and the others in the second row. The crowd turned around when the band played “Medicine Square Garden,” my favorite song of the Frank Iero solo era, and the crowd surfing became nearly constant. It was almost dangerous; I saw someone get kicked in the face, and I wrenched my shoulder trying to hoist a crowd surfer into security’s arms. The band had middling audience interaction, somewhere between Rise Against and Glassjaw, but the crowd would’ve gone wild with or without it, so in love were they with the band.

Despite knowing very few songs by Against Me!, I was amped to see them. I caught their set at Wicker Park Fest last year and live close enough to Laura Jane Grace that, in theory, I could pass her on the street. After the Future Violents set and, you know, the other two days of Riot Fest, I thought it might be prudent for me to chill in the back of the crowd and not fight my way into the pit, especially since I was not prepared to sing along. Despite the fact that this was also a packed set -- the band was playing not one but two big-ticket albums, Reinventing Axl Rose and Transgender Dysphoria Blues, and this was after they had played two albums the night before -- the band took their time between songs for Laura to reiterate that Riot Fest was her favorite festival two or three times, and their set was even over early. A well-oiled machine of punk rock, they drove through the albums with finesse, excellent musicianship, and help from the screaming crowd. The only weird thing about the set was that, halfway through, a chunk of people peeled away to go see the B-52s, which wasn't about Against Me! but about how Riot Fest schedules their acts. I've known for some time that I need to know way more about Against Me!, but after having the time of my life singing along to "True Trans Soul Rebel," which is one of the handful of their songs I remember, I know that next time an opportunity comes around for me to catch one of their sets, I'm going to be ready. 

This was where my Riot Fest adventure ended for the weekend. I had intended to check out Taking Back Sunday, but when faced with the choice between sticking around and getting home at midnight only to wake up for work at five the next morning, I made the choice that got my blistered feet out of my brand new Docs faster. I regret that on and off, but I had experienced so many things in three days that I am still overwhelmed by it. In trying to remember even my favorite sets from Riot Fest, I just get a blur of things in my mind: reaching over the barricade for a setlist, holding up crowd surfers, feeling like I was about to cry and laughing like a freak with adrenaline; meeting eyes with performers, shaking hands with new friends, waiting for unfortunate amounts of time to fill my crumpled water bottle so I could turn it into cherry Pedialyte. There's a reason why people from all over come to Riot Fest, and it's that, within that blur of memories, I know I had the best time of my life. I'm already looking forward to next year's lineup.

Ari Jindracek needs to know where Buddy Nielsen got that shirt with the flowers on it, like, two weeks ago. You can find Ari on Twitter.

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10 Funniest Quotes From The Big Sick | ScreenRant – Screen Rant

The Big Sick might be one of the most unexpected romantic-comedies in recent memory. Not only did this small movie come out of nowhere and make audiences fall in love with it, but it also has one of the most unique stories for a movie in this genre.

RELATED: Judd Apatow’s 5 Best (& 5 Worst) Movies According To Rotten Tomatoes

Based on the real love story of the film’s writers, Kumail Nanjiani and Emily V. Gordon, the movie is about a young man struggling with his Muslim faith and his love for his former girlfriend who is now in a coma. Despite the heavy subject matter, the movie is laugh out loud funny, with some of the most memorable lines in recent years. Here are the funniest quotes from The Big Sick.

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10 Your Driver Will Be Ready As Soon As He Puts On His Pants

Given how unconventional their romance is, the first night Kumail and Emily meet is also decidedly different from most first dates. After meeting in a comedy club where Kumail is performing, the two go back to his place and have sex.

Not ready to get serious with the guy she just met, Emily decides to leave and calls an Uber. Luckily for her, her Uber driver is lying in bed next to her. This leads to an awkward but sweet ride home which kicks off their unusual relationship.

9 She Just Dropped In

The movie does a great job of showing us things in rom-coms that audiences have rarely ever seen before. One of the most interesting aspects is the honest and funny exploration of Kumail’s life as a Muslim and his complicated feelings about a potential arranged marriage.

RELATED: MBTI® The Big Sick Characters

Though Kumail’s parents are sweet and caring people, they continually pressure him into “meetings” with single Pakistani women. At each family dinner, they are greeted by a guest and his mother always insists “She just dropped in” every time, oblivious to how obvious her matchmaking skills are.

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8 Can I Get A Burger With Four Slices Of Cheese

The movie is exceptional at walking that fine line between tragedy and comedy in a story that deals with life and death. As Emily’s condition gets worse, her loved ones struggle to deal with it in honest and funny ways.

Not sure what he is supposed to do, Kumail goes to a fast-food drive-thru and asks for a burger with four slices of cheese. When the confused server says they can’t do that, it sends Kumail over the edge. What results is an angry, painful but oddly hilarious breakdown at the drive-thru window.

7 Stonehenge

Once Emily falls into the coma, a large portion of the movie is dedicated to the uncomfortable interactions between Kumail and Emily’s parents, played by Ray Romano and Holly Hunter. Romano is especially funny are the worried and awkward father, Terry.

After Kumail takes the parents back to Emily’s apartment, Terry tries to get Kumail to play some parlor games with him to keep his mind off things. Terry suggests a game in which you try to think of a word the other person can’t rhyme. Kumail immediately says “Stonehenge” and after a beat, Terry says “That’d be a winner.”

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6 But Did They Look Under The Train?

Though a Muslim family is rarely at the center of a Hollywood movie like this, the movie really emphasizes how much Kumail’s family is like any other family you might meet. His overbearing yet sweet mother is a great example of this as many people could identify with having a mother like this, regardless of culture.

RELATED: The 10 Best Amazon Original Movies, Ranked

Kumail’s mother is always worried about him, especially after the family dinner. When she sees him again, his mother yells at Kumail saying they thought he was killed in a train accident they saw on the news. Kumail points out no one was killed in the train accident and she responds “But did they look under the train?“

5 Do You Want ISIS To Have More People?

Holly Hunter gives a powerful and funny performance as Emily’s mother, Beth. She is a woman that will do anything to protect her daughter and sometimes that can make her a little scary.

When Emily’s parents decide to get out of the house and go to Kumail’s comedy show, a heckler calls out to him, “Go back to ISIS.” Though she had previously not been too kind to Kumail, Beth jumps to his defense and rips apart the racist man. Her ferocious tirade against him is hilarious and makes you want to stand and cheer.

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4 You Sound Like Julia Louis-Dreyfus

A large part of the movie focuses on Kumail’s struggle with building his own life in America with his family’s expectations for him as a Pakistani man. Aside from the religion aspect, Kumail’s brother, Naveed, often insults him for becoming more American.

As the two brothers are hanging out, Kumail makes a remark that Naveed thinks sounds too American. He calls him out by saying “You sound like Julia Louis-Dreyfus.” It’s a hilarious put-down just because of how little it makes sense and that she is the epitome of America to Naveed.

3 That’s Why They Call It Love

Some of the biggest laughs in the movie come from the awkward conversations between Kumail and Terry. They are both stuck in this terrible situation together and Terry’s marriage to Beth is not as strong as it once was. So he turns to Kumail to connect with, much to Kumail’s displeasure.

RELATED: Which Romantic Comedy Are You, Based On Your MBTI®

As the two men have a heart-to-heart, Terry keeps spewing out love life advice which doesn’t make any sense. Finally, he admits love is hard “That’s why they call it love.” When Kumail says he doesn’t understand that either, Terry admits he just started talking and hoped something smart would come out.

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2 Throw The Chalk At Jimmy

Romano’s sad-sack performance in the movie is so hilarious and one of the highlights of the film. Terry is always concerned with Emily and her condition, but he always finds time to complain about everything else in the world.

He explains to Kumail that his generation grew up without video games and could have fun with just a piece of chalk. They could play tic-tac-toe, hopscotch or “Throw the chalk at Jimmy.” When Kumail asks if there was an actual Jimmy, Terry says “Well I mean, there was no particular Jimmy. Whoever got hit with the chalk, he was the Jimmy.”

1 What’s My Stance On 9/11?

With Emily in the coma and Emily’s parents waiting in the hospital, the movie explores the “meet the parents” scenario but without the girlfriend to be the buffer. What results is a lot of uncomfortable conversations, leading to the biggest laugh in the movie.

Terry awkwardly brings up 9/11 when talking to Kumail and asks what his stance on it is. Kumail responds, “What’s my stance on 9/11? Oh um, anti. It was a tragedy, I mean we lost 19 of our best guys.” A hilarious, boundary-pushing line that is so hard not to laugh out loud at.

NEXT: 10 Funniest Quotes From Zombieland

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