#i also remember at some point miss olivia wilde was there and we hugged and i cried and all of my costars aside from hl HATED my ass

[old-knightsvow]

dreamt that i was in succession but it was actually very obviously house md (see: i was literally a fellow. but so was andrew dodds who for some reason was there) but in the dream we kept calling it succession......after the premiere of the season i went god knows where and mattmac called me a sudaca........i guess i was so stunned i woke up

[argylemnwrites]

Fight or Flight - Chapter 14: Help

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Riley Liu)

Book: The Royal Heir (canon divergent from the end of book 2)

Word Count: ~4100

Rating: R (language, 30 diamond scene)

Summary: About three weeks since The Walker Absconding

Author’s Note: With my state surging so badly that the CDC had to come up with a new category for coronavirus monitoring, and my hospital group changing policy constantly, even the illusion of an update schedule is pretty much out the window at this point, so thank you to all of you who are still sticking with this series! I saw that in canon, our crew just now decided to go on the run, but my MC and Drake have been on the lam for a while at this point, hahaha, so thanks for going on this wild ride with them!

This series follows the Walkers, their friends, and Cordonia as a whole after they flee the country with their daughter during Barthelemy Beaumont’s attempted coup. To catch up on this series, check out it’s masterlist. (link can be found via my bio - sorry, Tumblr is once again not putting my posts with links in tag searches)

Olivia let out a sigh as the privacy divider in her town car finally finished closing, tipping her head back and tugging the pins out of her hair. “God, what a nightmare.”

Liam hummed in agreement. “Yes, I suppose it is.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to stay at the palace tonight? It might be good optics, keeping you in the thick of things since the social season just started.”

He shook his head as he shifted slightly next to her. “After Hana’s conversation with Kiara and all its revelations, we need to be able to discuss things openly. With everything that has already happened, I don’t trust my assigned quarters at the palace to not be bugged.”

All Olivia could do was let out a little shrug. She knew he had a point, but she was worried about his overall approach here. All the strategizing and discussing in the world wouldn’t matter if he didn’t maintain an image of strength and dependability. Trotting back to the seclusion of Lythikos consistently would absolutely weaken the perception others had of him.

“So, I think we can safely assume that Amalas knows about this alliance between Barthelemy and Auvernal. It would explain why she was so eager to strike a deal with us,” Liam continued, reaching up and loosening his tie as he stretched his neck.

“But why would Aurvernal agree to work with Barthelemy? He wasn’t exactly supportive of them when they were trying to force Drake and Riley to solidify the betrothal. Hell, he used that mess to argue against their suitability to raise Bridget.”

Liam frowned, his eyes dropping to his lap for just a moment. “The latter part of your statement I can see him spinning over the coming months. He can argue that he has met with neighboring leaders and struck more beneficial alliance terms than I was ever able to foster, making him better suited for the role of monarch. With the delay in the start of the social season, he’ll have plenty of time to sell it as believable.”

“We had to push Rashad to delay. Hana told us that we need to make sure-”

“-Kiara represents House Theron, I know. It’s just unfortunate the delay may also be desirable for Barthelemy’s camp as well as ours. It would be nice to catch a break for once.”

“Liam…”

He ignored her attempt at sympathy. “Oh well, that’s just the reality isn’t it? We need to figure out how Auvernal played into Landon’s decision. Have you been able to buy off any of their staff?”

Olivia shook her head. “Not yet. I have a couple of leads on a maid and a driver who might be loyal to you, though.”

“That’s something, I suppose. I guess we should probably try and gain some intelligence about the motives of Bradshaw and Isabella as well, shouldn’t we?” He sounded tired, his hands working to remove his cufflinks.

“Yeah, we definitely need to hit this from multiple angles, find out their goal and what they might have done to sway not only Landon, but Hakim and Adelaide. Barthelemy is absolutely going to challenge Bertrand for control of House Beaumont, so we need to gain at least two of those votes. Counting on keeping the Beaumont vote in our camp is just too… dicey at this point, don’t you think?”

Liam nodded, but didn’t seem to want to say anything, so Olivia just kept going. “Now, I think since it’ll be Kiara voting, and she’s been very willing to divulge things to Hana, that is probably our best bet. And I know I’ve been focusing on getting some dirt on Landon and Emmeline, but maybe Adelaide would be the easier pick up? She’s never had much interest in actual politics, so maybe if we had Maxwell just socialize with her repeatedly at the upcoming events, that might be enough? For whatever reason she’s always loved him.”

She glanced over, surprised to find Liam with his eyes closed, his head tipped back. Had he fallen asleep that quickly?

“Liam?” she hissed out.

“I’m still listening; I promise you I’m not asleep.”

“Do you have anything to add?”

He shook his head against the back of the seat without opening his eyes. “No, you seem to have things under control.”

“But, I was-”

“-I trust you, Olivia.”

His words should have been affirming and confidence boosting, but instead all she felt was fear. He should be more invested than this. He needed to be more invested than this. And honestly, she was sure he knew that fact. He would go through the motions of strategizing with her on a regular basis. But he always faded quickly, becoming distracted or introspective. He was ruminating instead of focusing and channeling that hurt and pain into something productive. 

But that wasn’t going to stop tonight. It was very late, and the drive back to Lythikos was a long one. So, Olivia just let him rest, pulling out her burner phone and scanning for any news bulletins about the Walkers being found in Athens, letting out a small sigh of relief when she found none. It looked like Leo and Riley had managed to pull it off. Combine that with Hana’s intel, and she knew the night had been more successful than not. She just needed Liam to start to see things that way. Otherwise, the upcoming months were going to be even bleaker than anticipated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riley kept her head down as she shuffled past a man in the hallway. With two large duffels, it was a bit awkward, and she didn't want the man to remember anything about her other than the fact that it was a bit of a tight fit with all her luggage.

Once he was out of sight, she unlocked the door to their hotel room, opening it as narrowly as possible to slide into the room. She had barely closed and locked the door when she felt a pair of familiar strong arms engulfing her. She dropped the duffel bags to the ground and spun in his embrace, wrapping her arms around his back.

"You're back," Drake murmured into her hair. She could feel his chest rising and falling rapidly, his whole body practically trembling. "You were late, and I thought…"

"Leo was almost an hour late," she said, her voice somewhat muffled by his chest because of how closely he was holding her. "I wanted to text you, but-"

"No, you made the right call." They had decided early on to avoid using their new phones to contact each other if at all possible. That way, if one of them got picked up and taken into custody, the other wouldn't be instantly traceable. It meant a lot of anxiety and fear when they weren't together, though. "I just… I… I was worried that…" Drake kept trailing off, almost as if he was unable to say his fears out loud.

"I know, Drake. I know. But it's okay. It all went okay." She slid her hands up, tracing between his shoulder blades, running her fingers through his hair, trying to soothe both him and herself. To call tonight stressful was a mad understatement.

“Leo had our stuff?”

She nodded against his chest. “In his hotel room. I obviously didn’t take the time to dig through it all, but I saw toys, clothing, documents, money.”

Drake ran his hands through her hair, then loosened his hold on her enough to lean back and look her in the eyes. “Did anyone… were you...”

“I don’t think anyone noticed me, Drake.”

He let out a shuddering breath, and then he was kissing her. Not some gentle, tender peck, but hard and deep. Like he used to kiss her when they were alone. Before she turned their lives upside down.

She missed this. She knew it was stupid. They were wanted fugitives and barely getting by in a foreign country. They were hungry and stressed and sleep-deprived. On top of that, they shared one room with their soon-to-be 11 month old daughter, so they had no privacy. Their sex life was far from their most pressing concern.

But… she still missed it, that sense of shared connection and intimacy, and that encompassed more than just the sex. She honestly felt like his teammate or coworker more than his wife far too often. They just spent so much time on the practical, discussing next steps, trying to arrange logistics. Moments of shared laughter and warmth were few and far between these days. And sure, they didn't really have much to laugh about, but it was still a loss.

When she’d sat on his lap yesterday after dyeing her hair, it almost felt like a sliver of their old life and dynamic was back. She’d teased him, he’d held her close. But moments like that were just not the norm for them anymore. Most of the time, even any physical affection was more focused on comfort in light of something negative. Holding hands, hugs, that sort of thing seemed to only happen when their world felt like it was crumbling around them. It’s like they shared nothing but worry and fear most of the time.

There was also the fact that Drake hadn't opened up to her about his own emotions. She knew him. She knew that his fractured relationship with Liam must be weighing on him, that he must feel mad guilty about so many things. But he wasn't telling her anything. He hadn't kept things from her like this in years, and it honestly scared the shit out of her. At first, she thought he was just trying to shield her from his own pain. She knew that her initial panic had probably sent him into hyper-protective mode. But that was weeks ago. She was pretty sure she was holding it together better now. At the very least, she didn't think she was a walking mess anymore.

But Drake was definitely still keeping everything bottled up, and she had to wonder if that was in part because he didn't trust her. Whether it was because her initial panic had meant that she had not considered him enough or because he resented her decision to take Bridget out of Cordonia and away from their entire support system or because he couldn't help but see her as the reason he was named a traitor she had no idea. And maybe he was still just trying to shield her from his own worries and anxieties, but the fear was there that in her efforts to protect her kid, she was slowly losing her husband.

While Drake was off busting his ass to keep their family afloat, she'd had a lot of time to think, and she knew that wasn't helpful. When Bridget was awake, playing with her kept her mind off of those awful thoughts, but they kept creeping back in when she napped and slept. There was only so long that playing Dopey Cat could provide a distraction, after all. So instead she wondered endlessly if she had only been able to keep Bridget by her side at the cost of the foundation of her marriage.

For so many years, those fears of never mattering enough to someone else, of always ending up alone in the end had led her to keep relationships superficial. She’d avoided vulnerability, and therefore pain, at all costs. But then she came to Cordonia, and she had Drake, Hana, Maxwell, and Liam. She’d come to trust and feel and it was beyond anything younger her could have ever dreamed up. But now she’d ruined things with Liam, was disconnected from Hana and Maxwell, and it seemed all too likely she’d damaged things with Drake, too. All those people, who actually cared about her. She’d made a mess of the best parts of her life.

And maybe she was overreacting. Drake still clearly loved and cared about her. Worried about her constantly, in all honesty. But she also worried that he was gradually pulling away from her, that some day would creep up on them where all they would share would be concern for Bridget. But tonight, after all the stress and anxiety and fears of the evening, he was kissing her like he wanted her, like he loved her, and she couldn’t get enough of it.

She let out a pathetically needy moan, the sort of noise that would usually draw a smirk and some teasing from Drake. But tonight, he didn’t. Instead, he just surged forward with a groan of his own, driving her back into the wall and hooking his hands around her thighs, hoisting her up onto his waist before she could even process what was going on.

Riley clawed her fingers into his shoulders, dropping her head back against the wall as he moved his lips across her jaw. She began rocking her hips against him, tilting her head to the side as he worked his way down her neck, biting down lightly as he went. She tugged at his t-shirt, and after a few moments, he finally got the hint, sliding his hands out from under her thighs, letting her drop to the floor as he pulled off his shirt.

Deep down, Riley knew they had a lot they still needed to talk about and that doing this wasn’t going to fix the ache that had been growing in her heart, day by day. But she also knew that after weeks of stress and the horrible possibilities about tonight that had been running through both their minds, maybe this was just something they really needed. So she scrambled to tug off her shirt and jeans, kicking her sandals somewhere towards the door as Drake unbuckled his pants, and in almost no time they were both adding their underwear to the pile of clothing on the floor.

They were back on each other in an instant, hands grabbing and stroking, mouths everywhere. Riley felt her feet leaving the floor, so she wrapped her legs around Drake’s waist as he held her under her thighs, slamming her back against the wall. And then he was sinking into her, dropping his head to her shoulder to muffle the groan he let out as he did so.

It was all quick and frantic, both of them thrusting against each other wildly. She could sense that Drake was just as desperate as her. Desperate to feel something besides anxiety and guilt and pain. She knew she was going to have bruises from his fingers with how tightly he was clutching her thighs, but she didn’t care. Hell, she wondered how badly she was scratching his back. None of that mattered.

She hissed out his name as his lips latched back onto her neck. She knew this was going to be quick, so as she slid one hand up to his neck, tugging on his hair, she also dropped her other hand down between them, letting her fingers trace circles right above where they were joined. It didn't take long before she felt a warmth spreading out, down her legs and up her back, and then she was gone. Drake must have felt her climax, because he muttered "Fuck" into the skin of her neck, only driving into her a couple more times before she felt him spilling inside her. He slumped against the wall, his weight the only thing keeping her from sliding to the floor.

After a few moments, Drake let out a sigh, placing his hands back on her thighs and easing her down as he took a step back. “You okay?” he asked, his head slightly downturned.

Riley closed the newly-created gap between them, stepping forward and sliding a hand up to his cheek. “Drake, I’m fine. Are… are you okay?”

He nodded, tugging her into a gentle hug. “I just… I think I…”

“It’s okay, Drake. I get it.” She didn’t like that he still apparently couldn’t talk to her, but if he’d needed a minute of physical comfort and reprieve, well that was pretty fucking understandable. So she didn’t push him, just joined him in getting cleaned up and dressed in a t-shirt and underwear. While Drake washed the day’s clothes in the bathroom, she checked on Bridget, passed out in the travel crib Drake had picked up a few weeks back. They hadn’t used it to this point, and Riley wondered why Drake had dug it out of the car tonight. It had been safely tucked away with the tent, sleeping bags, and ground pad since he bought it.

“I thought we should probably start trying to get her used to it.” Drake’s voice cut through the room, startling Riley and answering the question she never got a chance to ask. “We are looking at months of being on the run. We need to start… I don’t know, making things… stable for her, I guess.”

“Makes sense,” said Riley, giving her daughter one last look before turning around to face Drake. “How did she handle bedtime?”

He grimaced and shook his head. “I think she was scared or upset because you weren’t here. She was basically inconsolable. I contemplated taking her on a drive just to calm her down. I kind of figured the night couldn’t get any worse, so I might as well try the crib. She screamed for about an hour before she wore herself out.”

Riley walked over and wrapped her arms around Drake. He struggled more with the sleep training than she did, even if he talked a way bigger game about letting Bridget “cry it out” in the light of day. “Well, she’s asleep now at least.”

Drake nodded, running a hand up and down her back. “You ready to go through the bags?”

She nodded and gave him a little smile, sitting down on the end of the bed as Drake grabbed the duffels and brought them over. They slowly worked their way through them, item by item. Hana had included so many useful things, from the practical, like clothes appropriate for a variety of types of weather and spare contact lenses and Riley’s glasses, to the unessential but truly missed, like Bridget’s stuffed corgi and Riley’s good hair brush. There was a lot of money in there, too. Thousands of Euros, which probably wouldn’t be enough to get them all the way until January, but at least made their situation a lot less dire. Their passports and birth certificates were tucked in there as well. For the first time, it felt like they might have some options when it came to their next steps. 

After twenty minutes or so of sorting and unpacking, they reached the bottom of the bags. There were a handful of framed photos. Riley hadn’t mentioned any pictures as being something they wanted, so this must have been Hana’s idea. There were a couple that had been displayed in their bedroom and den. A candid Maxwell took on their wedding reception, Drake sitting down as Riley stood behind him, her arms looped over his shoulders, both of them looking at each other with stupid, cheesy grins on their faces. The two of them with Savannah, Bertrand, and Bartie taken down in Texas, the day before the wedding. A photo of the three of them that Hana had taken in the privacy of their home the day after the anointing with them in casual clothing, just curled up on the couch holding Bridget, a stark contrast from the pomp of the formal portrait for the history books and press release the day before. There were a couple of new ones, too. The corgis snuggled together on their massive cushion in the den. Hana and Maxwell grinning with arms thrown over each other's shoulders, clearly a selfie taken by Maxwell at a formal event. Liam and Olivia sitting on a couch at what appeared to be the Lythikos keep, Olivia with an eyebrow raised, Liam with a hollow-looking smile.

Riley glanced over at Drake, unsure how these photos would affect him. He just swallowed roughly before placing the stack of photos he was holding on the bed next to him. Riley leaned into him, resting her head against his shoulder. They were both silent for a few moments until Drake finally spoke.

“Was that everything?”

Riley shook her head. “No, there’s a letter. At least I assume that’s what it is. It’s an envelope with Hana’s writing.”

Drake didn’t say anything, so after a few seconds, Riley leaned forward, grabbing the envelope with “Riley & Drake” looped in beautiful cursive sitting at the bottom of one of the duffels. She slid her finger under the flap and pulled out a sheet of stationary with delicate pink and cream flowers in the corners. She held it between them so that Drake could read it at the same time.

Riley and Drake,

I hope that you and Bridget are all doing well and in as good of spirits as the circumstances will allow. I can only imagine how incredibly difficult this must be for you. 

In these bags, I’ve included the items you mentioned as well as a few more toys for Bridget and pieces of clothing that I thought would be suitable for when the weather gets colder. I know it isn’t much, but hopefully this will make your lives just a little more comfortable.

I also sent some pictures I thought you might like to have, both old and new. Whenever things get tough, just remember that you have people who love you and want the best for you and your family.

While this is probably the furthest thing from your mind, I want to assure you that I am not taking my position as Duchess of Valtoria lightly. I am setting up citizen meetings for the upcoming weeks. Judging by the protests outside of the estate, you have a lot of support still here, and when this is all resolved, I will step down if you would like to rightfully reclaim your titles.

I love and miss you both, and tell Bridget that Aunt Hana misses her, too. Maxwell said I should include paw prints from Anderson, Vera, Ellis, and Ilsa, but for the sake of the staff who would need to clean up that mess, I will just settle on saying they clearly miss you as well.

Keep safe, Hana

Riley twisted to look at Drake. She knew he would already be done since he was a faster reader than her. His face was very still as he stared over at Bridget’s crib. 

“Drake?”

He jerked his head over to look at her, giving her a very empty smile as he did so. “Your best friend is really something, huh?”

She frowned, trying to suss out how much she should read into that statement, but he kept his expression blank. When it became clear he wasn’t going to elaborate more, she settled on a light response, knowing he probably didn’t want to delve into things too deeply at this point. “She really is. But her assumption that we would be at all worried about our former titles is adorably naive.”

Drake let out a little snort of a chuckle, so Riley kept going. “Can you imagine us just rolling back to Valtoria after all of this and challenging Hana for the title?”

His smile became a little more genuine at that. “Well, being out of touch with reality is a common trait amongst the nobility. Maybe it would just be us finally catching up with the rest of them.”

She nudged him with her elbow. “Come on, let’s pack this stuff up and get some sleep.”

“Sounds like a plan, Walker.”

Riley stood up and offered a hand to Drake, tugging him to his feet as well. There was still a lot they needed to sort through and take care of, both practically and emotionally. She knew that. Even with everything given to them tonight, the months ahead were hardly going to be a cake walk, and she knew she would have to get Drake talking at some point. But for the first time in weeks, she felt true hope. Hope that they could make this work, that they weren’t two seconds away from failing their daughter and each other, that they were moving forward. And for tonight, that felt like enough.

Perma: @walkerswhiskeygirl @octobereighth @kimmiedoo5 @mom2000aggie

TRR/TRH: @iaminlovewithtrr @mskaneko @axwalker @jovialyouthmusic @marshmallowsandfire @kingliam2019 @sirbeepsalot @texaskitten30 @princessleac1 @ladyangel70 @debramcg1106 @masterofbluff @sarahx206

Drake/MC: @no-one-u-know @iplaydrake

FoF: @burnsoslow @bobasheebaby​

[barbasbodaciousbeard]

IF You Love Someone, Let Them Go: Part 5

Summary: Since starting with SVU, Sonny hadn’t kept much terribly close to the chest. The squad knew about his family, growing up on Staten Island, the classes at Fordam. What was hidden was why he didn’t date. Sonny Carisi was also separated from his childhood sweetheart, a separation neither ever took to divorce. They had the same haunts. They’d grown up neighbors. Their paths crossed every few months, and divorce talks would turn into reminiscing would turn into a night spent together, sometimes sex sometimes just talking until the early morning. It always ended with one of them waking up alone however. How will that change when the squad finds out?

Pairings: Sonny Carisi x Original Character,

1 - 2 - 3 - 4

March 2015

“You’ll see me two times in three weeks,” Victoria smiled, wine in hand as she settled in the seat beside Sonny. It was Tommy and Bella’s engagement party, which Gianni was treating as a bridal shower. The whole engagement would only have been three months, and it seemed the two younger Carisis had cost her the months of parties and planning Gina and Teresa had given her. At least Sonny and Victoria had gotten married in a church a year after they eloped. Tommy and Bella would be getting married outdoors, while she was pregnant. Everyone pretended not to notice the slightest bit of a bump, easily confused for weight gain if you didn’t know, when Gianna was around before fussing over Bella the minute she left.

“I’m a lucky bastard.”

“I hope you told your squad.”

“We’re all going out the Saturday before. I’m doing it then.”

“Really pushed it off, huh?” she asked, and he didn’t like the hurt she was trying to hide. 

“The cases got heavy during the holidays. And then we busted up a sex ring and I was undercover. That also felt like a weird time. I kinda realized there wasn’t going to be a good one.”

“Yeah. Tommy and Bella inviting them kinda twisted your arm, huh?”

“Yeah. But it’s good. The last step.”

“They all coming?”

“Olivia for sure. I think Rollins and Amaro are coming together, and then honestly? Barba will when he finds out there’s gossip. He’s kind of a dick, but an amazing attorney. I really wanna shadow him sometime, but I’m too green to ask, y’know?”

“Yeah. I’m sure it’ll be nice when the time comes. And I think it’ll make Bella and Tommy happy. If it weren’t for them, it coulda been bad.”

“I got brother brain instead of cop brain, so yeah. I still can’t believe she’s having a baby.”

“It’s wild. And I know you don’t like Tommy, but he’s got a good heart.”

“And got locked up.”

“Everyone has their own problems.” 

“Yeah,” he muttered. “Same deal as Gina’s wedding? No marriage problems talk. Just have fun and be sentimental.”

“Deal. Though if your squad asks, I’m not ignoring it.”

“Fair. But also tell the cute stories.”

“I’ll bring the photo albums.” He laughed, arm settled around her shoulders. When they’d moved out, she’d taken to collecting all the pictures of them and adding them to a photo album. She’d gotten copies of dozens of pictures from his mom, who had always kept them organized by year in boxes. When she left, Victoria took them, and he missed being able to thumb through the pages. There were multiple volumes at this point. The pages got harder to find. She didn’t scrapbook. Instead, she used the pages with four slots each, keeping them up as time went on. He wouldn’t be surprised if there were pictures from Gina’s wedding in the most recent. Maybe there were even pictures of them separate from each other to bridge the gap. 

“Please don’t give Rollins and Barba that ammo. They’ll steal the really bad ones.”

“I like the ones from prom the best. Could we look any more 2004?”

“We looked damn good.”

“Doesn’t mean it’s not super dated.”

“True. It’s okay. We got the pictures from Gina’s wedding. We don’t look like we’re separated in them.”

“True. You got the dimples on full display.”

“I seen the dresses Bella picked. I know you hate it. You won’t like this one so much.”

“I love it.” He raised a brow at the feigned enthusiasm. “Dom, that pink is gonna be so bad on a pale red head.”

“I like you in pink.”

“You like me in anything.”

“Because you look good in anything. Dark green’s my favorite though.”

“Mine too. Thank God for Gina. I’ll wear that dress again.”

“I’m sure I’ll have to go to some fundraising thing…”

“You asking me to be your date before you even know?”

“You’re always who I ask to be my date.”

“I better be. We’re married.”

“Gettin’ awful territorial, Mrs. Carisi.”

“You put your ring on your hand today.”

“And you put them both on the right finger.”

“It’s almost like we’re making progress.”

“I want to tell you. I’m ready. But not until after the wedding.”

“Why then?”

“In case you don’t look at me all happy anymore.”

“Literally nothing you could tell me could make me not want to work on it. Unless you cheated on me.”

“You’re the first, last, and only.”

“You are too.”

“We oughta stop being sappy. People are coming and we got put with people we don’t know.”

“Gross. It’s like ma is mad at me.”

“I’m just glad she knew better than to try and make us sit apart. I’m sittin’ with my wife.”

“You two aren’t even pretending to be awkward,” Bella teased, leaning to hug Victoria and then her brother. “This nonsense almost over?”

“Butt out,” Sonny warned, but he was still smiling. “Strictly married talk.” 

“Two weeks and ya can’t use that excuse.”

“Then it’ll be strictly talks with my wife.”

“Stop, Dom,” Victoria laughed. “You look beautiful, Bella. How you feeling?”

“Kid’s making me tired as hell. I’m excited though. Tommy talks to her every night. It’s been hard, after what that bitch did. But he’s doing so good.”

“I can tell. I’m just glad you’re so happy.”

“I really am, T.” 

“You look beautiful. I like this dress a lot.”

“Thanks. I like feeling all bridal.” Sonny was content to watch Bella and Victoria catch up. Over the last year, he’d come to realize every time they talked came around to when Victoria was taking him back. He probably hadn’t helped that any, constantly acting like he didn’t know why she’d gone. Thanksgiving had changed that. He stood up to his mom more, told her he was in therapy, and openly defended Victoria. The last part wasn’t new, but this time it was specific to her decision to leave. He’d told his family in no uncertain terms that, while he thought she should’ve told him earlier instead of letting the hurt fester, he had done something wrong and he was trying to fix that so they could start over. His mom and dad didn’t like that. Generationally, bottling up feelings was more acceptable to them. His sisters, on the other hand, hugged him tight and told him they were proud of him. 

Their table filled up quickly as guests arrived, and Sonny was happy to help Victoria keep conversation moving until his parents spoke. That was the plan for tonight. Appetizers, speeches from the bride and groom’s parents, dinner, dessert, and finally dancing and cocktails. It was quickly apparent all the family’s required-but-barely-liked invites went to the table they’d put Victoria and Sonny at, a sure sign Gianna was over dealing with their drama. He was thankful his sister wouldn’t be having assigned seating at the reception for anyone, the bridal party included, though the thought of having Victoria joining his squad at a table made him nervous.

“I thought they’d never go dance,” she said softly against his ear, and Sonny smiled more from the closeness than the sentiment. Damn, it felt good to have her on his team. She wasn’t there day in and out, so these events felt more valuable to him now.

“Right? He’s from dad’s work. Known each other forever. I don’t know why the hell they invited him.” Her hair tickled his cheek as they gossiped, watching the people around the room and nursing their drinks. He decided they didn’t have a heavy case, so he’d tell the squad the next day, that way the giddiness of the evening would still be fresh. When they’d both finished their drinks, he took her hand, pulling her towards the floor. 

“I was comfy,” she protested half heartedly before she realized he’d pulled her up for Sinatra. One hand on his shoulder and the other in his, she let him lead the few moves they’d learned in a ballroom class they’d taken. It had only been a couple years into their marriage, and they took it because it made them feel older and less like imposters. Now, all either could really remember was a boxstep, and their frame was terrible. That didn’t matter though. What did matter was Sonny resting his temple against hers to sing softly against her ear. When one swing tune melted into another, she was grateful Gianna had picked the music for this wedding event. 

“Looks like we get to dance all slow again,” he teased, giving her a spin before holding her close.

“For someone getting mad when we get along, your ma worked real hard for us to get along.”

“She’s just mad it isn’t like when we were kids. If we fought in middle school, she’d give us a pizza, and we’d be over it.”

“Very true,” she grinned, looking up at him. He looked handsome, and after what came out to two years of seeing him deteriorate, she was grateful he was actually getting back to himself. She wasn’t sure if therapy, the job, or the slow progress they were making was the reason, but he was her Sonny again. He kept his hair cropped, face shaved, and smile present.

“You’re staring,” he teased before tightening his grip to dip her. 

“You look good. Like not just handsome. Happy.”

“Thanks,” he smiled softly when he pulled her up again. “I’m learning to process stuff better.”

“That’s good.”

“It sounds messed up, but thank you for leaving. It made me go to therapy. I really wasn’t being good to you, Tor. And I’m sorry for that.”

“I forgive you, Dom. I wasn’t doing a good job talking to you about it. I’m sorry for not pressing until we hit the point of no return.”

“It’s okay,” he said, forehead resting on hers. “I think we’re gonna be okay.”

“Me too.”

“Can we get somebody to take pictures of us?” 

“Bella got a photographer, and he has definitely taken several.”

“This camera shy Sonny or detective Sonny noticing?”

“It’s Sonny seeing Gina tell him to.”

“You ever feel like the kids are trying to get us back together?”

“All the time, doll. You know how often Gina or Teresa go after me? Then Bella meddles. But Mia? She’s 17 and bound and determined she’s going to be the one to talk sense into me. And she kind of is. She actually talked to me about therapy.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. She doesn’t know why but knows my brain shuts down when I try to open up. Heard me tellin Teresa. Said it’s toxic masculinity makin’ me feel like talking about feelings is girly and I gotta get over that if I wanna stay married and making you happy.”

“I ever tell you Mia’s my favorite?”

“She’s got a good head on her shoulders.”

“How long until we can run away and go to a bar?”

“Anybody else left yet?”

“Your cousin Lauren and some of Bella’s friends.”

“What bar you thinking? Because you look too pretty to not take to some classy wine bar.”

“That works for me.”

“Then let’s go tell Bella and Tommy bye.”

“What about Gianna?”

“It’s not her engagement.” Victoria almost felt like they were back in high school and cutting class as they said their goodbyes and got their coats. Why the hell his sister was getting married outdoors in winter was beyond Victoria, but she was grateful for the fact they’d probably end up rained out and inside for the ceremony. Sonny hailed a cab, waving when he saw his mother watching them from a window. 

“She’s pissed, Dom.”

“Too bad. Taking you to a nice wine bar. Ordering a cheese board.”

“You’re making it sound like a date.”

“I been shit and ain’t taken you on one in two years. Can it be?”

“I’d like that.” She was nervous, but it had become apparent he was trying. From what he said, in a couple weeks he’d be willing to open up. He was also communicating with her as it was. Maybe treating the next two weeks as a trial run could be good. Ease into the heavy discussion. He’d mentioned being afraid how she’d react. Maybe if she was always there again, he’d realize she wasn’t leaving. 

“C’mon, whatcha thinking Tor?”

“Just that I’m happy we’re making progress,” she fibbed, lacing their fingers. He looked to their hands and smiled, squeezing her fingers gently. 

“Me too.” Soon enough they were settled at the bar, and Sonny, true to his word, had ordered a bottle of wine and a cheese board. She was turned to face him, legs carefully crossed. He had the leg towards the room on the footrest around the base of her stool. She was boxed in, but it felt reassuring when paired with his hand on her leg. 

“So what’s this new squad like?” Sonny had never quite settled in anywhere since he’d become a detective, and he seemed smitten with his spot in Manhattan. 

“So Barba is the ADA. Covered him. Liv is Lieutenant. Nobody ever really gave me a shot before. Apparently I can be abrasive.” He threw the hand not on her leg up in mock affront, and she laughed. 

“You? Never.”

“I know,” he said, ignoring her sarcasm. “Rollins is cool. She’s been through a lot. She’s from Georgia though. I know you mostly grew up here, but you get that same Southern catty as her. Means it doesn’t get to me, because I know the secret. That she doesn't really mean it. Amaro is cool too. Had some problems too. Come to think of it, I don’t know why I’m acting like they won’t understand or accept our marriage. Fin’s been there longest, other than Lieu.”

“They treating you well?”

“They are. I think I’m finally not just a newbie. Barba gets mean. He’s not southern snarky though, so I think he means it.”

“I’ll fight him.”

“You’d win. He’s got a big mouth, but I don’t think he’d be scrappy.”

“I’m just real proud of you.”

“That means a lot to me, Tor.”

“You worked real hard. I watched that. And you’re going to be an amazing attorney.”

“I think I wanna try for the DA’s office if I pass the bar next year.”

“You’ll pass the bar.”

He rolled his eyes, pouring her another glass of wine as he topped off his own. When the night was over, he walked her to her door, kissing her goodnight and going to his own apartment. Sonny had decided that if it was going to be a date, he’d be a gentleman. Things were still delicate, and he had to leave early when she had a day off. He did text her the next morning to say he’d enjoyed their date, not wanting to have the wedding be the next time they talked. When he arrived at the precinct, he went to Olivia’s door, knocking. 

“What’s going on, Carisi?”

“Since the squad’s coming to my sister’s weddin’ now, I felt like I gotta tell everybody I’m married and it’s really confusing.”

“Since you hadn’t mentioned it, I assumed you were getting a divorce.”

“You knew?”

“I did get sent your file when you started here. You know, I do read those.”

“I messed up bad, y’know? She’s a baker, right? And I’ve known her since I was five. Got married when we were eighteen. It was all good until I got to homicide.” Oliva gave him a sympathetic, knowing smile. “What I told you guys? How the women got to me? I was scared if I told her, I’d, like, tarnish her. Make her see all the bad stuff we see. It’s amazing talking to her, Lieu. She never stopped seeing the best in people. And I stopped acting like her husband because I thought just being close to me would transfer all of it. She left me, but we’re in a weird limbo. She’s in the wedding, and we act married when we see each other. This’ll only be the sixth time in a year and a half. But I don’t want her to meet everyone and they’re all like who the hell are you.”

“This job can make that part of life incredibly difficult, Carisi. I feel the same way sometimes about Noah. What if they take him? What if I’m so paranoid he grows up paranoid? Or god forbid he sees pictures? I try to refocus it. I think about how he can make light in those bad times. I don’t know much about her, but I’m guessing she does too?”

“She does.”

“Tell her, Carisi. If she knows something is wrong, she’ll be able to get through it.”

“I’m telling her after the wedding. My therapist said it might make it less stressful. I’ve been afraid she’ll change her mind when I tell her.”

“It’ll work out. It is a smart idea to make sure everyone knows. Barba’s coming with me, so I’ll make sure he knows and keep him in line.”

“Thanks Lieu. For this whole talk, but also giving me a shot.”

Tag List: @cycat4077 @fear-less-write-more

[whichwaytowonderlandep]

Evermore | Ch. 1

Pairings: (Yoongi/Reader)

Genre: Romance, Angst

Words: 3,638

Tags: Beauty and The Beast AU, Modern au, eventual smut, drug mentions (sort of)

Series: The Disney Series

Chapter One

Your hand flew out of the sheets, flying across the side of the bed blindly before you finally made contact with the annoying device that had decided to wake you up at the ungodly hour of six in the afternoon. Too early for you. 

You let out a loud groan, feeling slightly buzzed as the hangover from last night comes at you in full force. The sounds of the cars running and the people having fun outside of your apartment building filtered into your small and run down apartment. 

You don’t remember much of last night, having completely checked out of your body as the night progressed, you continued to work the streets until the ungodly hour of three in the morning. 

You get up from your bed, bones cracking as you smack your dry lips together. One of your hands comes up from under the covers as you push your tangled hair out of your face. The warm air coming from the fan in the corner doing little to stop you from sweating like hell while you slept during the day. 

You knew your roommate must’ve been here during the day by the leftover weed smell that continued to linger in the air coming from the kitchen. You ignore it, already having been used to the smell before you move to the bathroom. 

Your eyes instantly meet your unruly hair as you really take a look at yourself, seeing all the makeup from last night still on your face — smudged and not at all pleasant looking. 

You decide to get ready for the night, taking a long cold shower as the knots that had formed under all that stress and that hard as a rock bed wasn’t helping make matters any better. 

The heavy metal music and the sound of cars honking filling in the silence as you got ready in the sluttiest clothing you could find in the shared closet you and your roommate, Olivia had. You had promised her to finally join her tonight, after weeks of asking you finally agreed to join her and maybe make some money on the side while you were at it. 

A tight, black dress that landed too far from your knee but that still left something to the imagination. Your makeup was done heavy — black eyeshadow and eyeliner, as well as dark red lipstick coloring your lips as you made your way out of your apartment… through your window. 

It’s not that your door didn’t work well, it was the people behind said door that you were wanting to avoid. Your rent was due soon and your front door neighbor had this thing about grabbing your ass every time he saw you. So, climbing out of a three story apartment window and into your fire escape seemed like the safer choice of the two at the moment. 

You make your way down the street, heels clicking loudly as your hips sway side to side. The dirty streets of the city were filled with late night party goers, drug addicts looking to score and ladies of the night looking to make a quick buck. Your smile flirts with the man you pass, throwing small waves at the ones who almost break their neck to get a glimpse of your ass. You break out in a giggle as one of them trips over his friends.  

Your hair bounces on your shoulders as you quickly make it down the street, catching sight of your friend’s bright purple hair. “Oli!” You shout her name as you stand a few meters away from her, waving your arms around as you try to get her attention from the other side of the street.

Olivia Alvarez was an old friend from the days before you became a college drop out — her following you right along. What mostly attracted you to her was her loud as fuck personality and her will to give less fucks in any situation. “I’ll talk to you later baby, my girl is here.” She pats the guy on the ass, startling him slightly before moving to wrap her hands around you as you ran towards her. 

“I haven’t seen you since yesterday!” You exclaim, hugging her tightly. You let go of her as you wrap a hand around her shoulders. “Where have you been, buddy?” 

“Oh you know…” Oli wiggles her eyebrows, making an action zip her lips and throwing the key away. “A lady never reveals her conquests.” She whips her hair around as she wraps her arm around your waist. Her height making it possible for her to lay her head on your shoulder with no problems — leading the both of you to stand at the corner of the street. 

“Manny was looking for you again last night” you say, watching her smile quickly disappear from her lips. “Told him you left the country… again.” 

“Yeah, well next time you see him, tell him that I died.” Oli ‘s heavy Argentinian accent coming out as memories of him come to mind. “And that my body was cremated, that you scatter my ashes into the ocean so that I may find my way back home and blah blah blah” 

You chuckle at her dramatic ways, finally separating from her as the catcalling around the two of you becomes even more noticeable. “You’ll be fine, just avoid him for a couple of more days and he’ll get bored… eventually.” 

“So what are we doing tonight?” You change the subject quickly, trying to keep the mood a happier one. 

“We are going to hit a couple of clubs, meet some new friends and have the best fucking time if our lives” Oli counts each one of them on her fingers, reaching into her jacket’s pocket and pulling a small plastic bag of different colored pills. 

Your smile only wavers slightly as she pulls two of them out, offering one of them to you before shoving the other one into her mouth. 

You eye the one in your hand, not sure how taking random drugs is going to get you through the night without making a plethora of horrible decisions. It would sure as hell make it a whole lot easier. “Come on (Y/N)” Oli says in a mocking manner, “Live a little!” 

You smile, a slight grimace on your lips before taking the pill into your mouth. 

Right, (Y/N)... it’s time to live a little. — you think to yourself, already regretting what was going to happen tonight. 

//

Min Yoongi couldn’t be even more than happy to get the hell out of that party. If it could even be called a party. His fingers twirl around the emerald ring on his left hand. His face showing no emotion as he took another long sip of his watered down tequila — he had no plans on getting drunk tonight, but as the night went on he was going to quickly change his mind. His black hair crazily moving to the California breeze as he leans on the glass railing overlooking the bright city lights. 

All he wanted to do was to go back to his hotel room and take a nice long and well deserved nap. But no, he had to stay here in the middle of a city where he knew absolutely nobody. Where he was only asked by his company to appear for appearances sake. 

“Hey grumpy!” A loud voice startles him as a taller body crashes into his. Hoseok’s blinding smile moves to the corner of his eyes, a hard pat on his back. “What the hell are you doing out here when the girls are all inside?” 

He would have almost forgotten about Hoseok’s presence if it wasn’t for the way he would constantly come outside and check up on him every couple of minutes. 

“You’re missing out, man!” Hoseok continues as Yoongi gives him an uninterested glare before moving his gaze back to the city. “Why don’t you just come back inside, I might even have the right girl for you.” THe younger man chuckles. 

“Not interested” Yoongi grumbles, already knowing where this was going. He had seen it all before, the parties, the glamour, the celebrities — hell, he has lived in the spotlight most of his life and there was nothing he had grown to hate more. He drinks what was left in his glass, hoping that the younger male would finally take the hint. Unfortunately, that was still not the case. 

“Oh stop being such a grump! I know you used to like to party!” Hoseok whines as he leans over the railing, trying to get Yoongi to meet his eyes. “I want my best bro back” 

“You know, I’m doing just fine with this bottle for myself” Yoongi points to the bottle sitting on the ground beside him. “I was also having a great ass time, so why not let me continue doing that?” With a grim smile, Yoongi looks back at the scenery in front of him. 

Hoseok gives him one last smile before wrapping his arm around the giggling girl beside him. He had always known Yoongi to be the biggest grump he had ever met — nothing mean that he said was ever taken to heart. Hoseok, even after everything they’ve been through, would still consider him one of his best friends. 

Hoseok lets out a deep sigh as he realizes the older man isn’t really in the mood to party so he reluctantly takes his keys out of his jacket, placing them on the flat railing before taking his leave.”Don’t scratch it” Hoseok yells back before disappearing from the patio and into the lively atmosphere. 

Yoongi takes one look at them, his tongue pushing against his cheek as he places the bottle on the metal railing with a thunk, grabbing onto the keys before he makes his way down and through the backyard — possibly avoiding every person he possibly could. 

His mind was slightly buzzed from the alcohol, nose red from the cold and his body feeling only slightly heavy, and yet, nothing was stopping him from climbing into the front seat of Hoseok’s car and pulling off into the dark road. 

// 

You’re extremely sweaty, a little bit hot and definitely feeling like you might pass out any second. At the same time... you felt euphoric, high on life and you would admit a little bit horny. Olivia and you had found yourself gaining free entry to one of the nearby clubs, stepping onto the dance floor as soon as the two of you arrived. You had some idea of what Oli might have given you, making a note to ask her tomorrow if she had any more. 

The strobing lights made you dizzy and the vibrations coming from the surrounding speakers were beginning to give you a heavy migraine. You stop dancing as you feel someone pull at your hand, looking back with your fuzzy vision you see Olivia’s wild hair in your present view.  You could hear her saying something, although it sounded like nothing but gibberish to you. 

You don’t know what she said, but your hazy mind was able to put two and two together as you saw her smirk at you before turning around and grabbing onto some random guy’s arm. She has found a client for tonight and from here on out you were flying solo. 

You’re no longer paying attention to her as you see her making her way out of the club, instead your eyes start scanning the rest of the barely lit club. As a high-end escort, Olivia knew the clubs where all the rich, married and very lonely trophy husbands and CEOs liked to hang out and relax. It was her hunting ground. 

The men in her life didn’t last very long but from the moment they met her, they could only assume they were done for. Once she had her claws on him she wouldn’t let them go until she got bored or she got a large sum of money from them. Olivia gets bored very easily. 

You hadn’t been okay with the idea when she had first suggested you joined her while she worked, knowing rent was due next week and you barely had enough food to last you the next few days. So, you took her up on her offer. To let her teach you her ways of manipulation. 

You lick at your dry lips, feeling lost and alone as you no longer have someone familiar around you. You push your hair back as you step off to the side, your body starting to feel sore as you move towards the crowded bar. You try to find an empty spot, looking as the poor bartender gets pulled in all directions — the idea that you would possibly get a drunk any time soon is long gone as you unwrap your jacket from your waist and head towards the exit. 

The fresh air hits you with full force as your body cools down. You could still hear the loud music thumping from inside the club as you move through the empty alleyway. Your mind is still a little fuzzy as you put on your jacket, getting the last of your cigarettes from the inside of your jacket. 

You stumble out of the alleyway, fighting to make your lighter work as the wind starts to pick up as you step onto the street. You groan out loud, shaking the lighter in your hands as if that would make it magically work. “Stupid thing better work, I just bought it last week!” ‘

You weren’t really paying attention as you kept on walking, the migraine you had back at the club making its presence known. You were not looking at your surroundings, or at the empty and wet street as your boots slap against the puddles and you were certainly not aware of the very bright lights coming down the road at a very alarming speed. 

Yoongi looks up at the road, the bright red jacket shining as the headlights of the car he was driving hit you. His foot slams down on the brakes, his heart beating a mile a minute before the care fortunately stops only inches from your body. He did not need a criminal record. 

 Your startled eyes meet his as you drop your lighter to the cold, wet asphalt with a clink. It would be a lie if you said that you didn’t almost pee your pants. After the initial shock wears off, you feel relieved and then, you feel only anger. It could be the drugs talking or it could be the alcohol that made you act way out of character. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?! You almost ran me over!” You angrily yelled as you slam your hands against the hood of the very expensive-looking car. Hair falling all over your face as you try to take through the tinted windows, trying to get a look at the culprit’s face. You stumble around, your boots not helping out the matter. 

You didn’t have to wait long before the man stepped out of the vehicle, anger apparent on his face as he made his way to the front of the car. “You didn’t scratch it, did you?” He ignores you as his eyes scan the hood, looking for any kind of scratches. “Are you serious right now? You could’ve killed me and you’re worried about your fucking car?!” 

He lets out a sigh of relief as he makes his motives there are no scratches on the car. “Key word, almost.” he mumbles, not sparing you a glance as he gets back in his car. 

“Uh, no you dipshit. I could have died.” You continue on, following him to his window —smacking your hands on it as you try to get his attention again. It seems as if you succeeded as he rolls the window down all the way. 

“Please don’t touch the window, I don’t want it to get filthy” The man says as he looks at you up and down with nothing but a bored expression plastered on his face. 

“Way to be rude, asshole” You mumble, leaning against the car. Your head leaning towards the window as you try to maintain your balance— your stomach starts to feel kind of funny, but the feeling of anger is still surpassing anything else that you could possibly be feeling. 

“I could be splattered in front of your car and you only car if your precious car doesn’t have a scratch on it.” You continue mumble, “It’s exactly how people like you are ruining our country!” There it is again, that funny feeling in your stomach. 

“You mean drug-addicted prostitutes like you aren’t?” Yoongi finally looks your way, an eyebrow raises as he gives you a skeptical look. He knew he was judging you without even knowing you but he was stressed enough as it is and you were the closest thing he could take his frustrations on you. Some stranger he might never get to see again. 

He can tell by the way your eyes widen and your mouth opens in a little gasp that he had offended you, he could feel guilt bubbling up in his chest as he realizes that he offended you deeply. He doesn’t let you see he feels that way as his face and demeanor becomes cold again— pushing the button to close his window, cutting your words as you continue cursing him out. 

You continue to tap on the window as you hear the sound of a revving engine. The rude motherfucker thinks he can get away with anything just because he has money. The  migraine and the feeling  you had in your stomach is something that you can no longer keep pushing down and as you throw up the little food you had managed to eat that day onto the side of his very slick and very clean car you knew that you had fucked up. You smirk as he parks the car once more, wiping at your lips. You take a step back as you watch him angrily get out of the car with eyebrows furrowed and disgust clearly showing on his face. 

You don’t get to live in the moment for long as your vision becomes blurry and your eyes catch only the glimpse of the headlights as your world becomes dark and you hit the ground with a loud thud. 

Yoongi instantly turns around, his eyes searching for your body before he finds you passed out in the middle of the road. “For fuck’s sake…” He mumbles angrily to himself.  For once, he was glad that he got lost on a road with little to no traffic at all. He takes one more look at the vomit on the ground, feeling queasy at the sight of it. He skips over it, careful to not get it on his very expensive shoes as he squats down next to your body. 

“Hey, stupid...Wake up.” Yoongi says as he nudges your shoulder, hearing soft snores coming from under a mountain of hair. He pushes you fully on your back, your hair falling back onto the wet concrete as he sees the peaceful look on your face -- along with some of the vomit still present on your chin. “Why does shit like this always happen to me?” Yoongi has an inquisitive look on his face as he looks around his surroundings, the cold air making his breath visible in front of him as he notices no one around the surrounding area. He could easily leave you right where you were, get in his car and just get the hell out of there. Another part of him is telling him to at least move you to the sidewalk, to the ‘nice’ and ‘comfortable looking garbage so that you at least don’t get used as a speed bump. 

And yet, something in his consciousness tells him that he was human not too long ago and while you were rude to him… he couldn’t just leave you to rot in the middle of nowhere. He had no idea where you had appeared from and as he gently patted the pockets of your jacket he could tell you didn’t have a cellphone or anything he could call your loved ones with. He could always call the police, but he’s sure he wouldn’t be able to explain the scene in front of him or how long they would take to actually get there. 

“Mom…” He hears you mumble in your deep sleep. 

“Hey..Wake up. You can’t stay here…” Yoongi tries one more time and as you offer no more words, he finally makes up his mind. He unbuttons his silk jacket, moving to place it on your legs before he moves his arms beneath your knees and your shoulders. “Damn, could you be any heavier?” He complains, adjusting you as best he could in your arms before moving back towards his vehicle. He struggles with opening the back door as he tries to not drop you, he ends up using his leg as he hooks his foot onto the handle and struggles to open it. Succeeding after a few minutes, finally placing you into the back seat. He steps away, making sure all of your limbs were inside the car before he slams the door—  hoping that it would wake you up and you could go on your merry way, but as he watches your unmoving body still sleeping in his back seat he knows that it was a futile attempt. 

“Fucking…..” He grumbles in annoyance as he skips over the vomit on the asphalt, getting into his car and driving off. 

Masterlist>>

[horansqueen]

AM Conversations : chapter 25

A Niall Horan fanfiction ; rated MA

CHAPTER 1 || CHAPTER 2 || CHAPTER 3 || CHAPTER 4 || CHAPTER 5 || CHAPTER 6 || CHAPTER 7 || CHAPTER 8 || CHAPTER 9 || CHAPTER 10 || CHAPTER 11 || CHAPTER 12 || CHAPTER 13 || CHAPTER 14 || CHAPTER 15 || CHAPTER 16 || CHAPTER 17 || CHAPTER 18 || CHAPTER 19 || CHAPTER 20 || CHAPTER 21 || CHAPTER 22 || CHAPTER 23 || CHAPTER 24

NOTES:

-one chapter is her pov, the next is his. -3.9k. -im sorry, i never proofread, i hate it. -there WILL be smut. but not only smut. -this is a romance, comedy, smut story. -for the summary, check my MASTERLIST.

- if you want to be notified when this is updated, please message me or leave a comment!

- you can send me questions and theories and comments. tbh they all make me SO SO SO SOOOO HAPPY! and make me want to write more! you can also tell me if there are things you WANT to happen. you never know, i may add it :P

- thanks for being patient btw! i work a lot these days and will work even more in the next few weeks (until halloween) so i may not update as often as i’d like. :(

-please, message me, give me feedbacks, it would mean sooo much to me!

Chapter 25 : Her chapter

OLIVIA

I had never felt so many butterflies in my stomach before. Not only was Niall holding my hand and making me twirl around like he had romantic feelings for me, but the taste of his lips pressed on mine was still lingering on my mouth and I never wanted it to leave.

It was completely different than the kiss we had shared while playing 'spin the bottle'. I didn't know why but that kiss was full of raw emotions, like he couldn't contain them and had no idea how to express them. It was exactly like he had put all these feelings into this simple kiss. it was awkward and not at all romantic but it was a kiss nonetheless, a kiss that seemed to mean a lot to him, almost as much as it meant to me.

I didn't know how many times I had licked my lips since that kiss, if only to taste him again and I kept asking myself if i could kiss him again when his taste would have left completely from my mouth.

We sat in the already dark room and it felt nice when I realized it was almost empty except for a few teens in the front and a couple on the right side. Niall moved his beanie on his head to put it back in place and I stared at him. The thing that surprised me the most was to realize that I was even more in love with him now than I was 5 weeks ago when i decided to take a break from this friendship. It didn't seem normal and I couldn't help but think that my love for him should have decreased. When I saw him at my door, everything flooded back, almost drowning me, and I knew at that exact moment that I'd have to keep Niall Horan in my life forever.

"Don't forget," he whispered when the lights dimmed down. "No spoiler."

I held my breath when I felt him grab my hand and intertwine our fingers. I couldn't help but look down at our hands together and I had to swallow the lump of hope and happiness in my throat. I couldn't let my imagination run too wild or too far. After all, maybe it meant nothing. Was it just like this kiss we shared? Was this just a way to show me that he had missed me?

I was glad I had seen this movie before because I couldn't focus on anything else than our fingers together and when his thumb started brushing softly the back of my hand, I almost lost it.

I kept glancing at him, especially when he laughed. The way his mouth opened, the way his head moved back and the special sound of his laughter was bringing me joy I couldn't explain. I was with Harry, and he was with Maya, but neither of these relationships felt right the way this moment with Niall felt.

I looked down at our intertwined fingers for so long that I barely noticed when the lights turned on again but when I looked up, Niall was sending me a big smile and I couldn't help but smiled back at him. He didn't talk but got up, pulling on my arm again and making me chuckle.

I knew it was going to hurt when I was going to fall off my happy cloud but I didn't want to think about it. He brought me out of the room but it's only when we both reached the parking that our phones started beeping. His especially wouldn't stop ringing and I brought mine close to my face to see a few text messages from Harry. One of them was a link that I clicked immediately and my heart stopped when I saw the headlines of an online article.

'Is Niall Horan dating long-time friend?'

"Oh, fuck." I let out when Niall stopped walking suddenly.

He held my fingers tighter to make me stopped and moved in front of him, looking up from my phone. He was still staring at his screen, motionless and silent, and I decided to look at the article again, scrolling down to see horrible pictures of me. Niall looked great, as usual, and I tried to hide a smile when I saw that some of the picture were us holding hands, hugging and laughing together. For once, I couldn’t really blame whoever started that rumor : we honestly looked like we were together.

"Maya is literally lashing out at me." he pointed out without enthusiasm. "She's fucking pissed."

I sighed at the mention of her name but my eyes roamed quickly on Harry's messages.

'Is it true? I normally don't give credit to these kind of things but with the pictures I am unsure.'

'Call me okay?'

'I hope you're safe'

The right corner of my lips moved up in a sad smile and I quickly typed an answer.

'Can you come home in about half an hour?'

I looked up from my phone only to see Niall, his hand on his head, gripping his beanie a bit too tight, and the first thing that came to my mind was how bad I wanted to feel his lips on mine again. Of course, the articles bothered me a bit, and I felt guilty about Harry, but having Niall so close and still holding my fingers seemed to surpass and ease every other emotions inside me.

"I hate doing this to you, Liv, but I think I'm gonna have to go and solve the mess these paps made in my life again."

I felt like shit knowing he was about to leave me to go see Maya but I could understand why he was doing it. I would lie if I said it didn't bother me and I tried not to let myself hope that he'd choose me over her because even if I had no idea if his relationship would survive this, I knew he had to explain things witn her. I just wish I knew what he was about to tell her.

"No, it's okay, Harry and I need to talk too." I let out, shrugging, trying to hide how much it hurt me to know he was leaving. "We can just text each other after."

At my words, Niall looked up and sent me a smile. I had missed that smile more than I would have thought.

"So that's it, yea?" he asked, raising his eyebrows at me. "We're back? Things are going to be exactly the way they used to be?"

I had no idea if things really could ever be the same again and I wanted more than that. I aspired to more than that when it came to Niall. But I just shrugged again and nodded.

"We can try."

Once again, he pulled on my fingers and wrapping both his arms around me as we were both still holding our phones. I felt his cheek press on the top of my head and it made me smile, After a few seconds, he kissed my hair and moved away.

Niall put his phone back in his pocket and I just held my tight as we walked to my car and hopped in, remaining silent. I wanted to say something but I didn't know what and when I stopped at a red light, I felt his hand on my thigh and held my breath. The warmth of his palm felt incredible and I could feel my whole body start throbbing but the only throbbing I could think about was the intense on between my legs.

I blinked a few times, trying to get back to my senses and remembering I was actually driving, and glanced next to me too look at him.

"Hey, you think you'll be okay?"

I nodded a few times and his fingers slipped away from me, making me inhaled deeply. Were we always affectionate like that together or was this new? I didn't have time to ask myself any more question because when I parked in my driveway, I saw Harry waiting for me in front of my apartment building and frowned a bit, wondering if half an hour had already passed.

We got out of the car and Niall walked up to his friend, extending his hand to him. Harry just glanced at it but sighed, slapping it and grabbing it before bringing Niall into a hug. I was not sure what it meant but the look on Harry's face made my heart break in my chest. At first I thought he looked sad but the closer I was getting the more I realized that he actually seemed resigned, and that couldn't be good.

"Sorry mate, can't stay, got a few things to solve." I heard Niall say.

Quickly, he turned on his feet and grabbed my waist, pulling me closer and kissing my cheek.

"Text me." he whispered, walking past me but turning around a few seconds later to wave at us.

Harry and I both waited until his car was out of sight to look at each other again and the smile we both sent each other was pathetic. I unlocked the door and we walked up the stairs in silence. It's only when I brought him a beer as he was sitting on the couch that he dared to talk.

"Thank you."

His voice was low, lower than usual, and I swallowed hard.

"Look, Harry, nothing happened with Niall." I felt guilty because this was half a lie. "We just talked, went to the movies, and decided to be friends again. I know those pictures are weird but you know, it's just Niall and I..."

I stopped talking, wondering if he was even listening to me. He was turning and twisting his beer in his hands, his eyes glued to it and when he sighed, I felt my heart jump up in my throat.

"Do you think I don't notice how you look at him?"

I held my breath at his confession and my lips parted in shock. Did I just imagine that? The whole room seemed to move and I had to grip the arm of the couch to get my balance back, even if I was sitting.

"W-What?"

"And my fear is that every time we're together, you just wish you were with him instead."

"What are you talking about?" I asked in a whisper after a few seconds of silence.

At this point, his eyes moved up and he turned his gaze into mine, making my whole body feel on fire. I didn't want to have this conversation, I didn't want to talk about my love for Niall and I didn't want to feel like shit for hurting Harry, even if I did. Still, I couldn't get myself to regret seeing Niall again.

"No, Olivia please, don't." he let out, moving slightly closer to me. "You can't deny it, not to me. You owe me that, don't you think?"

It would be so much easier if he was screaming at me. It would be so much easier if he was pissed, yelling, and calling me names. But he was sitting very close to me and I could read how hurt he was and I wanted to lie to him. I wanted to tell him it was not true, that I only had feelings for him, and that I wanted us to tell the world we were dating. But I couldn't get myself to lie to the only man who had always been honest and kind with me. He was right, he deserved the truth. In fact, he deserved so much better than me.

I nodded, staring in his eyes, and he sighed, opening his beer quickly and taking a long sip of it. I took it off his hand and drank from it too before giving it back to him. That was how we always drank our beers. One at a time and together. And I liked it. It felt great to share something with someone... a connection that went beyond friendship. But I also knew it was not love.

"You've always loved him, right?" he asked again, leaning against the couch and looking at me.

I tried to hold his gaze but I couldn't and I closed my eyes, sighing low.

"Yes."

It was the very first time I admitted it out loud and to someone else. And it felt so right and true that I felt my heart twist in my chest at my secret being finally revealed.

"I think I always knew but I didn't want to know." Harry added, making me open my eyes again and frown before he continued. "Do you remember the first time we had sex?"

Of course I remembered, it was only a few weeks ago, but instead to mention it, I nodded, pressing my lips together. I remembered everything. From the way he felt inside me to the sound of my cellphone ringing in the middle of it because Niall was calling me.

"I told you I'd wake you up in the middle of the night to do it again. Because I wanted you. Because I felt like I had somehow failed you the first time or something. And when I woke up in the middle of the night, I started touching you. I kissed your neck and moved over you. And I even whispered your name a few times."

I frowned, wondering why I didn't remember that and if I even ever woke up at all. I couldn't believe the touch of Harry's hands and lips didn't wake me up and I remember wondering why he had not tried to have sex with me again during the night when I opened my eyes in the morning. I came to the conclusion that he was too tired and I didn't think more of it but now that he was mentioning it, I knew there was more to it.

"I stopped when I heard you talk. You were whispering his name very low."

It felt like Harry had dropped a bomb between us and I suddenly felt nauseous. Did I really do that? Did I really whisper Niall's name while I was in bed with Harry? After we had sex for the first time? The thought was horrible and I emptied my lungs quickly, still staring at me.

"I am... so fucking sorry, Harry."

"No, it's okay." he shook his head with a frown before his lips curled into a sad smile. "I had hope for us. I wanted us to work. So I stayed that night to give us an other chance. And we had it, we had that chance, Olivia."

His eyes moved up to look into mine and I tilted my head. He was gorgeous, and I knew I had feelings for him. I wanted him to be happy, I wanted to be in his arms, I wanted to spend time with him and kiss him.

"But today I realized that this chance was only possible if Niall was not between us." he explained. "And he will always be there."

He raised his shoulders up and chuckled without amusement before shaking his head. He didn't have to explain anything, I knew exactly what he meant and I also knew that he was right. There was nothing I could say or do that would change things or make all this okay. Nothing at all.

"Everyone knows you love him, I just didn't want to see it. I wanted to try anyway."

"No, not everyone." I pointed out, feeling bad for bringing this conversation on Niall and I while it should be only me apologizing to Harry for hours.

"He knows and he loves you too."

My heart skipped a beat and I raised my eyebrows at Harry, my eyes roaming on his face.

"Deep down, he knows. He's just scared." he added, "He's scared to ruin what you two have, he's scared it won't last, that it will be a mistake. He's scared of how much he could love you."

I tried to engrave these words in my memory to think about them later and I reached for Harry's hand, getting his attention again as he turned to me.

"What about you, Harry?"

"Are you honestly interested in how I feel?"

I was shocked and a bit mad that he could doubt it. I was not this horrible person who had played him. Yes, I had kept for myself the fact that I was in love with Niall, but I hadn't lied about my feelings for Harry. This was not just an act and Harry was not just a distraction. There was something between us and I wouldn't have wanted to try with him if I didn't think we were a possible match.

"Of course I am, Harry. Do you doubt it?"

He inhaled deeply and shrugged, squeezing my fingers with his.

"I really like you, Olivia. Perhaps I could have fallen in love with you."

His confession took me by surprise and I held my breath as he moved his face closer to look into my eyes. I felt like he was reading my soul and he kept silent for a whole minute before talking again.

"But I guess we'll never know."

That's when I realized that Harry was breaking up with me and the sensation of emptiness inside of me felt like it could never be filled again, like the void inside me was a black hole that would never disappear. I felt myself tear up but I couldn't move, like hypnotized by what was happening to me. I didn't want to blink but i did eventually and a tear slid down my right cheek, making Harry sigh as he watched it fall.

"Don't cry." he almost begged in a whisper, bringing his hand to cup my face as his thumb brushed against my cheek to wipe the tear. "You'll be fine. We'll both be okay."

I didn't really know if i'd be okay without Harry. I knew we had been together only for a few weeks but I felt like we had years of memories and nothing but good ones. Could a love story really end before it even started?

"Would you hate me if I said I don't want to lose you? That.. I don't want this to end?" I admitted in a whisper. "Because I don't want to."

His eyes moved gently and slowly on my face, stopping at my lips, and he bent down slowly, still holding my face, until his lips pressed against mine. The taste of caramel came back, washing away the indescribable taste of Niall's lips, and when Harry parted my lips to kiss me deeper, I realized that this kiss was our last one.

One of his hands moved down to my neck and I had to stop myself from whimpering in his mouth. It was the softest and slowest kiss I had ever got and I let him lead, my eyes closed, as his tongue moved against mine and his fingertips brushed against my skin.

I wanted to apologize to him, tell him I was sorry for making him go through that, tell him that I was sorry for not being able to throw myself into this relationship completely, but I didn't. I remembered how I felt when Niall apologized before kissing me and I didn't want Harry and I to break up on this kind of feeling, especially not after a kiss.

"You're incredible." I breathed against his mouth, my lips brushing against his. "Beautiful, kind, sweet, understanding. You're everything I ever wished for, Harry. You're perfect, I hope you know that."

I feel his lips curl into a smile against mine and I brush my mouth against his, leaving a soft kiss. I knew that when one of us would back away, it would be over, and I didn't want it to be me. If I wanted to be real, though, I also didn't want it to be him.

"My biggest wish is that someday, you'll realize that you're beautiful, in and out." he replied very low, his deep voice sending a shiver cross my back. "You're a real catch, only you can't see it."

I chuckled very low and kissed him again gently. This time, he answered my kiss but let his fingers slide down my arm as his other hand was still pressed against my cheek, his warm palm burning on my skin. I don't know how long we stayed like that, as if neither of us wanted to move, but when he finally pulled away to look at me, the sad expression on his face made me want to cry again. I knew I was looking at him the exact same way though and I swallowed hard to keep my tears in.

"I'm gonna need some time." he admitted softly. "But then, if you need a friend, I'll always be there."

This time, I couldn't stop the tears from flooding my cheeks. I stared at him until my vision was too blurry to see anything and I sniffed, nodding gently.

"I'm sorry, kitten, I didn't want to make you cry." he added, wiping my tears again. "But I think you know that this is the right thing to do."

"I know." I murmured, scared that my voice would break. "I'm gonna miss you."

Getting up was painful and walking Harry to the door even worse. He turned around and put his hands in his pockets as he looked down at me, his big green eyes scanning me as he it was the very last time and I think it was. Why did I have to go through so many loss all at the same time? Watching someone walk out of your life was probably the most hurtful thing to ever experiment even if deep down, you know it's for the better.

My heart was aching when he kissed my lips one last time and turned around. I heard him walk down the stairs but I waited until I heard the door at the bottom of the building open and close to start sobbing. I closed the door and walked slowly to the kitchen, grabbing a bottom of wine without even caring to take a glass.

I cried alone in my living room as I was downing as much wine as I could in total silence except for the sobs I couldn't stop. Niall was with his girlfriend, Harry was gone, and I was alone. I had not felt that lonely in a long time and I didn't remember how bad it felt. I waited about half an hour but finally grabbed my phone and with shaky hands, I texted my best friend.

'Harry and I are over.'

I just wanted Niall to take me in his arms and let me cry. I needed him to tell me everything would be okay, that I would get over it easily and quickly, but I couldn't ask him that, because he was with Maya and he had his own problems to solve. I didn't know if I was 'a catch' like Harry had said but that's not how I felt at all. I just needed someone to catch my heart as It was falling... Before It'd hit the ground and break into million of pieces.

[cruzrogue]

Roomies Part III

#Fictober19 @fictober-event

————————————————————————

for fanfiction:

Prompt number: 23 “You can’t give more than yourself.”

Fandom (AU if applicable): #arrow fanfiction #olicity #Flommy

Rating:PG13

Warnings/Tags:  There might be adult language

Summary:  Little more than two years later. Felicity is standing where her mother-in-law placed two tombstones in memory of Robert and Oliver.

(This is the last part)

Notes: This is a three-part with its own prompt story Part I Felicity/Tommy conversation. (The are past lovers/ but current best-buds)

Part I Felicity/Tommy friendship Prompt 21- “Change is annoyingly difficult.”

Part II Oliver enters the scene (Future tense Oliver/Felicity relationship) Prompt 22-“We could have a chance.

”Part III Fallout of the Gambit situation… Prompt 23-“You can’t give more than yourself.”

Part 3 of the dynamic that is Tommy w/Oliver and Felicity.

~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~sp@ce~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~

Roomies Part III on A03

Felicity has cried her eyes out. It is so unfair that she survived and so many on the yacht with her didn’t. Her father-in-law, husband, and the crew gone in a stormy night. Her heart is so heavy. Her mind reeling in the moments before the disaster took place. The peace she felt in her husband’s arms.

Oliver ushers her into their cabin. It has been an exciting day as they got to see whales, something Felicity had an excitement to see on this Pacific Ocean journey. Her husband holding her as she would just get closer to the yacht’s edge to feel the spray of one of the whales emerging from the deep ocean. It was a glorious moment.

“Oh my gosh Oliver, did you see that tiny one near its mama.”

“I sure did.” He’s already helping her off her garments in-between their kisses. “I think there were a few teenagers in the mix of the pod.”

Felicity kisses his neck just like he likes it as he’s already picking her up to deposit on the bed. “Oliver?”

“Hmmm.”

“I want three of those.”

Confused he pulls from her slightly, “Whales?”

Her sultry laugh gets him to hold her for a few more seconds before softly having her land on the soft mattress before him. “No silly! Children.”

“Well maybe after the one we are working on currently.”

Felicity pulls him down for another ravenous kiss. They seem to not get enough of each other especially since right before leaving Starling on the trip they find that they indeed are going to be a family of three.

The giggling coming from yards away pulls Felicity from her stupor. Her daughter’s laughter is contagious and has grounded her when she just didn’t want to continue on those harsh days. Getting up from her knees and dusting the dirt and some grass off as if talking to a tombstone can answer some of her prayers. It’s time to go back to the living she indeed has a little spitfire child that both her mom says it’s so like her and her mother-in-law keeps telling her that she is exactly like her father.

“Uncle Tommy! No!” And Ariel in another giggle fit. Her grandmother Moira placed a fence around the pool because this little cherub loves the water. She will jump onto every puddle she can pounce on. It’s like she really takes form from the mermaid in Felicity’s hallucinating dreams out on the ocean bobbing while holding on to a plaster piece with the word Gambit before being saved. Olivia Ariel Queen is a happy little girl.

As Tommy sees Felicity heading up the hill he gives her a warm smile. It’s been tough to mourn his best friend and see the little girl that Oliver will never got to know. She’s amazing and the perfect blend of her parents. The little girl wants a sibling so bad that she’s already adopted the unborn child his wife, Sara is carrying. Until Felicity graduated M.I.T he moved back to Boston to be of moral support. They were once roomies and it wasn’t hard to get reacquainted in those terms. Dating Sara Lance around that time frame could have ended if she wasn’t willing to help the widow of his best friend. Finding that Felicity was alive from the Chinese Embassy was a miracle in itself. Even if she was so distraught.  

At first it was the repetitive action of going to classes and doing what she knew like the back of her hand. Then it progressed that her baby became a focal point and as she was approaching graduating her focus became in making sure her daughter would be around where her father grew up. Learning about her dad from the people who loved him.

“Look! Its mommy.” Tommy tells the little girl who is now finding a dandelion to be of the most important essence. Ariel whips her head to where her uncle is referencing to and it has her calling out for her mother.

“Momma, look what I found.” Running towards her mother as fast as she can go almost slipping before her mother has her safely wrapped up. “It’s so yellow. Y-E-L-L-O-W!”

Felicity can’t help but smile. Her daughter is already to be a genius of her time. “Yes baby. That is correct.” Kissing her temple.

“Can I go swimming?”

“Sweetie, you already did this morning.” She can see her little happy child sigh in defeat. She loves to swim or do anything water related. “Maybe we can have an evening swim later, okay?” Just like that the girl is gleeful once more as her eyes light up. As the dandelion is grasped again Ariel asks her mom if she can pick some more and Felicity lets the little girl go to gather more flowers.

“How was the conversation this morning?”

Felicity doesn’t need to ask because it’s something that is ongoing since she moved to Starling to raise her daughter after graduating. “Quiet.”

Tommy nods he’d usually add a joke but he can tell Felicity is holding on by a string.

“I feel like I’m failing her.”

“Who? Ariel?” Tommy pulls her in for a hug. “You can’t give more than yourself.”

“What if there is nothing left to give?”

“Felicity, hey, you’re doing an amazing job with her. She’s a well-adjusted free spirit. Who for some reason loves giant bodies of water? Still…”

She gives him a dry look but her eyes are filled with mirth. “Tommy! I didn’t make out with a merman in the Pacific Ocean so don’t even ask.”

“Sheesh, you always do protest to my great ideas.”

“Do you always need to be your crazy self?”

“Of course, you love me just the way I am.”

“I do.” She kisses his cheek, “I thank the heavens that you are in my life.”

“Come on Raisa made her famous cookies.”

Ariel hearing about cookies starts to make her little happy dance before running back to her mother’s arms.

“My baby loves sweets just like her momma.”

Off they go to spend quality time together. It isn’t until the evening hours that Felicity takes her daughter out again to swim. Just observing her baby enjoying herself around the pool. How she wishes Oliver was here to just confirm their daughter loves swimming just like how much his father enjoyed it. Sometimes thinking that Ariel won’t also get to know her grandfather hits her. The little girl is a mirror image of her family. Reminding them all that Robert and Oliver live through her.

~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~sp@ce~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~

“Felicity? Felicity!” Moira’s voice vibrates an urgency as the woman swiftly walks into the massive room that houses the indoor pool. Ariel’s nanny by her side. That is how Felicity knows this conversation is urgent.

“Moira, what’s wrong?”

“Gammie!”

Moira still in a hurried manner stops in her tracks still taking the time to show affection to her granddaughter as the girl is being dried by her mother. “Hi darling baby girl.” She lays a simple kiss to the girl’s temple. “Nancy will take over and ready you for bed. I need to talk to your mommy.”

“Okay. Night Gammie.”

“Goodnight sweetheart.” She watches Felicity kiss her daughter and tell her she’d be by to tuck in her in. Both women watch as Ariel is content to leave with the other woman who seems to be telling her of a fun activity they can be doing.

The moment the child is out of earshot Felicity is pressing for information and Moira looks a little more youthful. She’s hasn’t seen her mother-in-law show such happiness if not with the antics of her granddaughter.

“What’s is going on?”

“The American Embassy called. Our family has been located with a single crewman. They are alive.”

“What?” Felicity shakes her head she just thinks it’s highly improbable. “This can be a hoax.” Shaking her head furiously. “We’ve had false claims. I just…”

“I know. I know darling.” Moira has this smile that helps Felicity a tiny bit. “I heard their voices. They’re being cleared. Robert has sustained some injuries that need extra hospital care but they’re alive. I called Thea to come home. They will make another phone call to us soon. I want you both there when it comes through.”

“Of course.” Felicity just nods numbly she isn’t going to take this one call Moira seemed to get as the only evidence her heart won’t allow it for the growing hope that could finally be the nail to crush her spirits.

~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~sp@ce~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~

The wait is beyond any anguish she could feel. She misses Oliver and remembers their last moment together like it was yesterday. When he forced her to put that orange life jacket on telling her to just amuse him as she whined until he placed his on to. The storm vividly on her mind as it rocked their boat back and forth. They heard it was taking in more and more water. It wasn’t until a wave rocked them enough that she can’t remember much after as she tumbled and lost conscious to wake up on a floating debris while still wearing her lifejacket. Her heart drowning in grief as the sole survivor of this wretched wreck.

There are reporters and many photographers present here at the tarmac where the Queen family waits for the three passengers to disembark. The family of the crewman also here to welcome him home. As the door opens and some personnel from the plane disembark it’s the moment when the first crewman shows himself and the camera’s flashes go wild. It’s a miracle to man does stumble down the staircase. Then Robert Queen emerges but he has people steading him as he looks down at the crowd and looks pinpointing his family before he too makes it down the stairs slowly but surely. At the top is Oliver keeping an eye making sure his father will safely make it down.

Spotting Oliver is when Felicity’s heart truly can feel again. His voice on the phone was so sterile so far away. She keeps her eyes glued to the man slowly descending and she notices he hasn’t looked for her… for them. His family.

Its when his eyes roam around the tarmac and she can tell he’s taking in the amount of people there is at this moment and he seems uncomfortable. A part of her aches to reach him but another part of her wonders what is fueling his emotions. He looks to somber unlike his father who is smiling.

The security detail already ushers her into a vehicle before there is a reunion. These vehicles already heading to what the media thinks is Queen Manor and Felicity is beyond numb. She has no idea what just happened. Moira takes her hand as Felicity turns from the window with unshed tears. “I know it is more than expected, we both agreed before going out there we wouldn’t make a spectacle expose ourselves to the media.”

“I know Moira, I just…” Felicity doesn’t voice her concern she knows they are going to Starling General where the private rooms are already setup. Robert needs some surgery and Oliver is just going to get checked by their private physician. As for the crewman their going to give him a full physical before releasing him.

It’s the moment she opens the door to his hospital room Felicity feels trepidation she doesn’t know what she is going to uncover. Maybe her husband after all this time without her has found he doesn’t want her as a wife or in any capacity any longer. That he’ll shun his child he never got to know. So far, everything to this moment has pointed to dread.

“Oliver?”

He turns from what had his attention even though he knows the door opened and she is the one to come through if her silhouette from the glass window is anything to go by.

Its like the moment they met some years ago, how she hung back in the dinning room and he stood looking at her in awe. This time Tommy isn’t here pushing her closer or breaking the ice between them. He can tell his stoicism is scaring her. He doesn’t have a container in his hands to give her like all those years ago not that she’d want anything but to know where she stands with him.

For years he thought her dead. Learning to accept that he lost her on the island was a lot. Knowing he urged her to go with him on this ill-fated voyage the anguish of knowing he didn’t just kill her but also their unborn baby. It wasn’t until the embassy patched them through to his mother for a second time.

Learning that Felicity survived the storm’s carnage just has had him in a daze. She’s alive, the woman he saw in his nightmares telling him it’s his fault she’s gone is alive. Now he fears she hates him because of the ordeal or just the notion she lost their child. No one has spoken of this subject so he’s just so frightened. In the few hours it took to get back to the States it a question he is eager to find the answer to.

He is glad his mother and wife and even sister, oh he misses Thea so very much. They’ve remained a family. A part of his heart thawing out as once he learned to compartmentalize he made it where his heart would beat for nothing more than surviving. Taking care of his injured father. He and a crewman making due on a harsh landscape. An island where the natives allowed them to live as long as they stayed in their zone. They survived and now are home.

Just as Felicity lets a hollow breath go it propels him to be the one to move forward first.

“Hi.”

A simple word has her tear up. She knows of some injuries that are still healing on his torso she doesn’t close the distance yet. She doesn’t want to hurt him.

“This is when you’d say hi or hello back.” He says lighthearted as he takes her in. Tommy may not be here but he can hear the rumbling of how dismal they are at coming together.

“I’ve missed you so much.” She finally says between sobs as he holds her tighter to his frame. Holding her body to his he never thought this is would ever be a possibility. As easy as that thought came to him another darker one takes hold. Is she still his wife? Did she move on? Her voice cuts him back to reality. “There is someone I’d want you to meet. Got me through these tough times. If it’s too much right now I’d understand.”

Oliver afraid of losing her grips her tighter if that is possible. He doesn’t know who has helped her through but it’s just not fair. No matter how nice this man that has mended her heart he doesn’t really need to meet him. Not knowing she’d be going back with him in the end while he tries to survive again without her. “I don’t know.” He whispers. “I may never be ready to meet this guy.”

“Guy?” Her confusion taking hold. “There is no other man, I mean our child.”

He pulls her just enough from his hold to look down at her face. Same eyes that he adores even if she lightened her hair and doesn’t rock the Goth vibe anymore she looks so radiantly beautiful. She survived and the little bundle that he thought he lost also is actually a little boy or girl that he’ll get to meet.

“We have a child?”

“A little girl. Olivia Ariel Queen.”

Feeling the dread, he’s been holding begin to deviate. They have a child together. “A baby girl. Wow! Where is she?”

“At home, I told her about you in terms that a child can understand she’s a little confused but she can’t wait to meet you.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” Her hands reach upward to hold his face. The fact that she can do this brings her to tear up once again. “You’re here.”

“I am. I’m not going anywhere.” There is no simple feeling that can converse what they feel at this moment as both happily embrace each other and finally kiss.

~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~sp@ce~~~~~~****~~~~~~~~

The couple take their leave with their daughter to a quieter room it’s time to get that father-daughter duo time with one another without prying eyes. Ariel in her father’s arms. Oliver seems he really hasn’t shared her with anyone yet. He can’t get enough of the small wiggling weight in his grasp.

The little girl is as fascinated by him as he is with her. She has asked a few times to make sure this man is who he says he is.

“You’re my daddy?”

“I am.”

She glances at her mother and a big sweet smile goes across her face knowing exactly what she wants to say as she gazes into this man’s eyes. “You’re my daddy!”

“Yes, baby I am.”

“That’s wonderful. I like a baby sister now.”

He’s looking at his daughter at how she looks quite serious as he can hear his wife make a strangling sound but he doesn’t turn to Felicity yet as his daughter just smiles even more.

“How long do you think it will take daddy?”

“I…” He doesn’t know how to really answer he wasn’t expecting this demand from his precious daughter. He’ll need to ask Felicity what this line of questioning comes from but he’ll ask a what if question instead. “Sweetie what if you get a brother instead?”

“That’s okay daddy. It may take lots of practice to get stuff right.” She tilts her head just like how her mom does. He smiles at the memories of Felicity doing that with him when she’s pondering something about him. “You’re my daddy.” She says that as an acknowledgement. Her smile contagious as she takes in the man she already likes so much. “You just have to put the dough in the oven.” Her hands fly out as she yelps out, “Tada!”

Oliver finally looks at Felicity who just has her mouth in that perfect ‘o’ shape as she’s just flabbergasted at their daughter basically demanding they create another child for her amusement.

“Guess your mommy and I will need to get the right ingredients huh?”

“Oliver? you shouldn’t encourage her.” He just gives a quick smirk to his wife. Ariel’s giving her mom a bothersome glare but her attention snaps back to her father. “Daddy, make sure she’s all organic. Okay?”

He nods and that’s enough for his baby girl to kiss his cheek. “Okay.” He places her softly back to the floor and just as quickly the little girl runs to where the other adults are. They hear her screaming at the top of her lungs that her daddy and mommy are going to bake her a sister.

Both Oliver and Felicity staring at the exit the little tornado went. Felicity finally shaking her head at the man she can’t believe is really truly back. “You could’ve promise her a dog instead.”

“Who says she won’t get one.”

“Oliver? I get your reasoning but she can’t get everything her little heart desires.”

“I get it. No spoiling but I also do recall someone here asking for three children.”

“Nah., I think I was talking about whales.”

He laughs as he embraces her. He is finally home and they’ll have to take time to get to know each other again.

“Welcome home.”

“No other place I’d rather be.” He winks at her as he already slightly tugging her back to where everyone else is. He’d like to spend more time with his two girls. Adding to the family may be somewhere on his list of future endeavors as he teases his wife, “I’d like have a pod, a school or a gam with you.”

“Well if that is the case, you better be as good the cook that I remember.”

-The End

The conclusion to the three part prompts…

tag:  laurabelle2930

[jvncys]

Joy to the World

my secret santa gift to @fallingstar95 who love jancy plus a kid, merry christmas, hope you like it @jancysecretsanta2018

(ao3 link)

December 20th, 1994.

So much has changed in Jonathan and Nancy’s lives, being married was one thing but parenthood was something completely different. Their daughter Olivia Joy Byers (Olly for short) arrived into their lives on February of that same year and they seemed to take it off pretty easily, of course, the first few months were – described by themselves as- “a beautiful chaos” but now that she’s 10 months old and learning and growing every day, they loved every single bit of this crazy experience.

Despite only being 10 months old, she was super smart and super curious. She inherited Nancy’s big blue eyes and her curly hair, while her face was shaped like Jonathan’s and her hair was the same color as him. She loved playing with every toy she could possibly find and she also was a huge fan of animals, every time a dog or a cat came near her, she’d start giggling. She was also a huge fan of music, Billy Joel and David Bowie being her favorites. She also started saying a few words a couple of weeks ago, she was able to say “mama” and “dada” and they taught her to refer to Joyce and Karen as “nana”. It’s safe to say that their daughter is a pretty special baby.

The little family is on its way to Hawkins to spend the holidays with their relatives, with Jonathan behind the wheel, Nancy by his side and their little baby daughter in her seat, happily giggling and trying to clap to the rhythm of “Uptown Girl”. He has been working like crazy these past few days that he feels like he missed these moments when it’s only the 3 of them being careless and genuinely happy.

 December 24th, 1994

These past few days have been wild, between going back and forth to Nancy’s house and Olly’s surprising and big urge to start walking everywhere she went, it was safe to say they were tired.

Right now they’re on the Hopper-Byers household, chatting with Will and Jane, talking about their year at NYU and receiving some advices from Jonathan. Nancy goes to check on Olly’s nap and to her surprise, their daughter was wide awake and playing with Poppy, Joyce and Hopper’s new kitten.

-         Mama! – Olly says enthusiastically

-         Hello you, looks like you’ve been with pretty good company, let’s go see dada and nana, shall we?-

-         Nana, Nana! – her daughter repeats

When they come back to the living room, all eyes are on Olly and the smile on her face, she’s been calling for Joyce since she got out of the room.

-         How’s my favorite granddaughter doing? Did you enjoy your nap sweetie? –

-         She was playing with Poppy when I went to check on her  , I’m pretty sure she was taking care of her while she was napping –

-         Yeah, Poppy does the same thing when this old man takes a nap, she likes to sleep in our feet- Joyce explains

-         Hey! – Hopper protests – I’m not that old! –

-         Whatever you say old man – Jane adds

-         I still can’t believe that out of all animals, you decided to adopt a cat- Jonathan says

-         Well, we had to fill in the void of not having kids in the house for almost 5 years -

-         That’s true – Will agrees

-         At least she’s good with Olly… but I still can’t believe that you decided to adopt a cat when I already moved out of the house –

-         We can still adopt a cat – Nancy says

-         Yeah, when we have a bigger apartment and Olly’s at least 2 years old –

-         You’re so overprotective – Joyce says

-         It’s not easy trusting cats after they attack you for no reason –

-         Jonathan you were 3 years old at that time and you were grabbing that poor cat’s tail! –

-         Ugh moooom! – Jonathan groans and everyone, including Olly start laughing.

The rest of the evening goes smoothly as it was planned, Joyce and Hopper were making dinner, Will and Jane were listening to Nirvana and Nancy and Jonathan were helping Olly to walk by herself.

-         Hey, do you guys think that Olly is ready to walk without any help? – Jane asked

-         I think so, I mean, she has been standing up on her own with the help of a chair since last month and only walks if someone is holding her hands – Nancy answers

-         Want to try it out? –

-         Sure! –

-         Will, can you go get the video camera? It’s in our room- Jonathan asked

While Will went to get the camera, Nancy held Olly in her arms while Jonathan and Jane moved on autopilot to get the center table out of the living room, making sure that the baby didn’t have any obstacles on her path. When Will came back, he started filming.

-         It’s December 24th, 1994 in Hawkins, Indiana, what we’re about to witness is a one of a kind experience, and now… without further ado, we present Olivia Joy Byers and her first unassisted footsteps- Jane said in a presenter’s voice

-         C’mon Olly! – Joyce said

-         You can do it kiddo! – Hopper added

-         You guys ready? – Jane asked

-         Yup! – Jonathan and Nancy said in unison

-         On the count of three… 1… 2…3… GO! –

It was a little bit hard for Olly to let go of Nancy’s hand at first, but she eventually did it and so, she did it, she gave her first footsteps on Christmas Eve. Once she got to Jonathan’s at the other side, he hugged his daughter, congratulating her on this major milestone on her life. He turned his daughter around so that she could walk back to Nancy and she did it again, she walked back to her mother’s arms and everyone cheered her.

At the end of the day, they go back to his old room where they had a little crib at the end of the bed, Olly was exhausted so putting her to sleep was an easy task.

-         You know? Out of all the Christmas Eves we had spent together, this is hands down my favorite – Nancy says

-         I agree… Remember last year when you were pregnant? –

-         And I was already exhausted by this point of the night –

-         Or our first Christmas as a couple… 10 years ago actually!-

-         Wow that was 10 years ago? Feels like yesterday!-

-         Yeah… look at us now…-

-         Happily married, with a beautiful daughter that grows at speed light-

-         There’s no place I’d rather be right now-

-         Same –

-         I love you Jonathan –

-         I love you too Nancy, you and Olivia are the best thing that has ever happened to me. –

They kiss slowly and passionate and they cuddle up together in bed. Outside, the snow is falling slowly but they’re warm and they have each other, they will always have each other.

[coffeeeeatmidnightx]

This post is for you, @taylorswift. These past few weeks, I've been so nostalgic and have fallen even more in love with who you are and what you bring to this world. I just want to let you know how important you are. This first picture is me at the Fearless tour in Boston, the day after my sixteenth birthday. I had begged and begged my parents to let me go, because it was 2 hours away from where I live. When they finally said yes, I cried non stop. I had wanted to see you since I was in the eighth grade, and you did not disappoint. This show has gone down in my mind as my favorite concert of all time. You were the first person I've ever seen to legit *hug* fans in the audience. Who does that?!?! I mean, you also threw a giant red chair on stage for Forever and Always... you're a badass. The next picture is me with 2 of my closest friends at the Speak Now tour, the only time you've come to Hartford CT! Saying we were ecstatic is an understatement. I remember my friend calling me earlier that year in December (the concert was in June) telling me she had gotten the tickets. This show was so emotional for me, because when you came out on your B stage with that amazing purple dress and sang Fearless (my favorite song of ALL TIME BY ANY ARTIST EVER) under a tree with a ukulele, I remember thinking "I really don't know how it gets better than this." That's why I stalked the internet for MONTHS and finally found a small shop that made a replica of that purple dress. I wore it to my senior prom, and felt absolutely radiant in it the entire night. I sang and danced like a crazy person all night, feeling untouchable and wonderstruck in that dress. It's a feeling that I will cherish for a lifetime. What can I say about the RED tour? The lights, the costumes, the music? That night was a literal blur for me, both figuratively (because I was dancing like wild and Carly Simon omg) and literally (because all the tears I cried clouded my vision). The most musically-charged emotional experience I've ever had was when you played All Too Well. I was 19 and going through a really tough breakup. The love, the passion, the feeling you conveyed on stage, is something that no other artist could ever do. You really are one in a million. 1989. Holy crap. The best party I have EVER been to! It was at Gillette Stadium (where I've seen all your other shows), and my very own Abigail (her name is Kylie) and I got floor seats to both shows. AN UNBELIEVABLE STROKE OF LUCK. We made some AMAZING new Swiftie friends and ran around starting cheers in different sections of the arena with our wild costumes. Austin even walked by us at one point and I actually almost fainted! We danced and sang and cheered and smiled so much those nights, and her and I often talk about how important that experience was for us, having just turned 21 and broken up with our only long term boyfriends. We felt so connected to you through your music: being strong, independent, fun. You showed us that it was okay to be the weirdos that we are, because being yourself is the most beautiful thing a young woman can do. Now, at 23, I love you more than ever. I have such an appreciation for everything you've done for me, @taylorswift. You've helped me grow, overcome times of adversity, and most importantly, you've helped me fall in love with myself. You are strong, beautiful, independent, unique, talented, hilarious, fun, thoughtful, inspirational, the list goes on (and I could keep going for days!) Your music has been with me through 3 different schools, moving out, breakups and makeups, and literally every little thing in between. I've grown up with you, from being a shy 13 year old girl sitting on the bus alone listening to "Invisible" on my iPod, to an almost Speech Pathologist who needs your music to get through my 2-hour commute every day. You mean the world to me, Tay. And just like you've always been there for me, I'll always be here for you ❤️ I hope this post reaches you, and I hope it brings a smile to your face to know that I got your back girl! I cannot WAIT to experience the colossal work of art that is Reputation! You continue to grow and prove yourself to everyone... IM SO EXCITED FOR YOU AND ALL OF THE AMAZING THINGS YOU'RE GOING TO COTINUE TO DO AND OMG AHHH I LOVE YOU PLZ BE MY FRIEND OK BYE❤️❤️ALSO I MISS MEREDITH AND OLIVIA

[aquaticsmoresblocksaboutmcsm]

Even more screenshots for episode two! Thar be spoilers.

So I was looking at some earlier screenshots and...

Of course ‘Vos’ doesn’t remember. OF COURSE.

This also means that the Admin isn’t omniscient and doesn’t know everything that’s happening in the world at all times. Or at least doesn’t know everything that he doesn’t care about. Just like me in high school and my science classes.

Also the ‘screenshotting blinking’ curse continues.

Anyway, where was I?

Petra, it’s pretty much obligatory at this point to activate every single lever and button in Jesse’s vicinity.

You gotta admit, the snowadmin really does know how to put on a show.

I was about to say ‘well, Stella might be a little weaker compared to everyone else’ but then I remembered she’s not a friend.

So the ‘My friends aren’t weak’ comment is still true, HAH.

EVERYBODY CLAP YOUR HANDS!

Aw, come on, Admin. I pretty much LIVE for lame puns.

Maybe he needs to chill out some more.

And then everyone died. The end.

AND LLUNA STICKS THE LANDING! WOOOOOO~!

Jesse, you’re looking a little too creepy with the smile and the lighting.

jack too op plz nerf

*loud internal sighing and screaming*

Also, ‘handsome’. Hurr hurr.

Hmm... spiders or arrows? Spiders or arrows?

Is there a third option involving cake?

Stella, there are times where I want to laugh because you’re so full of yourself but there are other times where I want to slap you upside the head for being so full of yourself.

LLUNA DESERVES BETTER!

Oho, I bet you do know better.

Admittedly, Radar might not be up one hundred percent for some of the trials, but this is his first adventure so what better way to learn other than training somewhere safer!

As for Lukas... well, admittedly, he’s certainly not the strongest in the Order and writing a novel in a cabin away from most people would make some fighting skills a little rusty, but there’s no better shooter of the group!

At least, I think he is? If not him, then Olivia. The only time I remember Lukas really using a bow before this was the first half in season one. In the second half he mostly used his sword and fisticuffs and promptly got his butt handed to him most of the time (EX: Aiden, the White Pumpkin, and he got owned in Spleef).

Lukas, have you ever considered the possibility of using tipped arrows? No? Okay...

“‘Wasn’t the coolest?’ Oh, no. Misfiling your acacia wood during material orgination week ‘isn’t the coolest’. That was, that was a stripe too far! Just because I’m not some sword-swinging meathead, they think they can just walk all over me! Th-th-they think... They look at me, and my, well, skinny little arms, and they think they know me? They think the know me? Well, they are wrong, dead wrong! I mean, I have been an embarrassment sometimes... But it stops here! It ends today! And, I-I guess I’m done. Sorry!”

First time I ever let him finish and what a show!

I can’t tell if she agreed with them because she thinks it really is good for everyone, she doesn’t want them hurt, got peer pressured by Vos and Jack, or what. Kinda hard to tell.

MY GOD, SUCH A DIFFICULT CHOICE. HOW COULD I EVER DECIDE BETWEEN THE TWO?!  THIS HAS GOT TO BE THE HARDEST CHOICE I EVER HAD TO MAKE! WHO WILL I EVER-

I chose Lukas and Radar because, let’s face it, I’m extremely predictable. Of course I choose the two cinnamon rolls. OF COURSE.

Sorry, Petra! Maybe in my silent playthrough!

Awww, noooo! Don’t give me that look! D:

And here we have these cool looking entrances for rooms that we’ll never, ever, ever get to see! Which is kinda sad because they look kinda cool...

This is honestly the weirdest place to find a parrot. Maybe the Admin likes parrots too?

MAYBE THE PARROTS ARE SECRETLY WORKING FOR THE ADMIN. THAT’S WHY THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!

HE SEE THROUGH THE EYES OF THE PARROTS! THIS EXPLAINS EVERYTHING!

I’m kidding... mostly. But ahaha, can you imagine? Admin the Parrot King.

I say the same thing with everything I ever do.

Radar, don’t you know that you’re not supposed to eat anything before getting on a roller coaster?

I never found out about the karma part, actually. I just assume you get hurt if you messed up.

I kind of wanted to try the mushroom island biome instead. Dang it, Lukas. You got the one I wanted. :(

I am completely fine with spoilers! ........ After I play the episode, that is.

If you dare spoil me about a important plot point, you’re dead to me.

Not really, but I will be really sad and disappointed.

A wild ‘Vos’ appears!

Oh, I bet you know what you’re doing.

*Nothing but awkward silence and stares*

HAH! I’ll admit, I laughed way too hard at the ‘I get along with everyone!’ option. Oooooh my gosh. xD

I noticed a lot of people in the tags like to think that Radar is like Jesse and Lukas’ adoptive son.

... And I am completely on board with that because SERIOUSLY! LUKAS IS LIKE A FATHER/MENTOR FIGURE TO RADAR AT THIS POINT. :D

Yeah, I’ma be honest, the shooting thing wasn’t that hard. My years of playing Skyrim have taught me well!

... Or, you know, I’m an adult playing a game more geared toward kids. But whatever, po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

... Radar, please tell me you’re not secretly working for Stella.

I will be seriously crushed if that’s the case.

Aaaannnnnndddd there goes the floor!

Don’t think I didn’t see that little look, you little sneak.

....... Well, I only notice it now in these screenshots. BUT STILL!

Mutant snow golems! No one told me we had mods installed!

SNOWBALL FIIIIGGGHHHHTTT!

PROTECT THE SMOL BEAN!

Well, hello there, big guy. How you doin’?

Eh, the fight wasn’t that hard. Only got hit for two hearts.

Was pretty cool, though. :D

Precious smol bean being helpful. :3

Dat snow golem face. xD

Awww. Someday, Radar, you will master the art of witty banter during fights. :3

I missed the actual moment of the hug because I was too busy going ‘awwwwwww’. :D

And I’ma stop it right here. Next screenshot post will be the last one for episode two.

And then maybe finish up episode one? But episode three is coming out the 19th. Ooooh, decisions.

Fare thee well~, folks!

[buckygirl-fanfiction]

Sparks Chapter 17

Pairing: Bucky(POV) X Reader(POV) ft. other characters from the avengers team

Word Count: 5.1K

Summary: So I totally got this from New Girl 2x15 when they played True American, the drinking game. Drunk Steve and Bucky being cute. Sam, Wanda, Nat, Cho, & Everyone locking y/n and Bucky in her bedroom until they kiss. Spoiler they finally kiss.

A/N: This is a story about two people building a great friendshipand then slowly falling in love. y/n is a strong, independent, and smart scientist. She meets Bucky when she wakes him up from cryo sleep and they become friends. This is going to have all the angst / best friends falling in love / fluff / drama / & eventual smut ;) that I can possibly fit in it. This fic is going to be looong! So far my document is like 50,000 words. So editing is hard If you catch any grammatical or formatting errors let me know.

Januaray 22, 2016

 Bucky’s POV

 I’m having lunch with Bahni again this week. She’s actually a pretty interesting girl. Funny, what the mind can overlook when it’s split. Fortunate for me she’s somewhat of a history buff and i’ve got plenty to share on that front. I walk through the halls towards the elevator, i’m supposed to meet her at the Founding Fathers in 10 minutes. It’s almost 4 o’clock and we are grabbing a late lunch since both of us had to be in meetings and briefings all day. On my way down I fix my hair looking at my reflection in the shiny elevator doors. I slick it back behind my ears and wonder whether I should get a haircut.

 I spot her sitting by the bar when I walk in and once she sees me she gets up to greet me with a hug.

 “Bucky,” she says with a warm smile on her face that mirrors mines.

 “Bahni, how was your day?” I ask politely kicking off the small talk. Sometimes I wish I could skip all the awkward initial steps of getting to know someone and get to the comfortable part where you can be open and free.

 y/n’s POV

 “Bye sweetheart, mommy is going to miss you.”

 “Bye bye mommy,” Ben says in an adorable little voice to his mother. Then he turns to me and says, “Bye y/n.” With a small wave he hops into the back seat of the car and Olivia leans in buckling him in and shuts the door.

 “Bye Mark,” I say to the man sitting inside the car in the driver’s seat.

 “Honey, don’t forget Evie’s bath and …” I watch Olivia discuss the domestics with her husband while I patiently wait on the curb for her. She’s such a soccer mom I think, then chide myself for the though. Just because housewife doesn’t appeal to you, doesn’t mean it’s a bad life choice. I smile at Ben through the window and watch the car pull away into the traffic.

 “Boy he’s in for some major traffic,” I say to Olivia, “leaving the city on a Friday evening, rush hour is going to be insane.”

 “I know,” says Olivia sighing. “I hope Evie sleeps through the trip.”

 “Well!” I say walking over to Olivia and taking her by the arm, “you don’t have to worry about that this weekend because you’re baby free!”

 We walk with our elbows intertwined down the crowded street towards the Founding Fathers, “Where are we meeting Cho?” She asks from besides me.

 “At this bar near work,” I say. “I think she’s bringing Steve.”

 “Oh, dreamy Captain America is coming?!” she says swatting me on my shoulder. “Score! Now all we need is that hot hunk of yours and the night is complete.”

 “Bucky? Oh. I don’t think he is coming. He might have plans i’m not sure,” I say. I haven’t seen much of Bucky this week especially since I cancelled our morning sparring sessions. The sleep deprivation was really starting to get to me and he suggested I just sleep in.

 “What a shame,” Olivia says as we turn the corner. I spot Cho and Steve walking our way and prepare myself for their loud reunion.

 On cue Cho lets out a high pitched scream when she sees Olivia by my side, “You’re actually here! It’s been too long!” Steve and I stand by exchanging glances as we watch their overdramatically loud reunion.

 “So what do you have planned?” Olivia asks Cho, “dinner and a movie?”

 “No! You’re in the city now and it’s Friday night and we are going to have some fun!” Cho says. “It’s time for some True American.” I internally groan when the words come out of her mouth. True American was a really weird drinking game we used to play back when we were all in college together. As I remember, the game always ended in a mind blowing hangover and someone cleaning up vomit in the morning. Actually, this might be interesting. “Okay so Steve and Sam are going to go pick up the 6 packs, we are going to go get the good stuff,” Cho says pointing at me and Olivia, “and meet back at y/n’s in half an hour?”

 “Sounds good,” Steve says and with a tip of his baseball cap he’s off.

 “Meet at y/n’s? Sam?” I say. “Who volunteered my place?”

 “I did since I didn’t want to volunteer mine and Wanda didn’t want to volunteer hers,” Cho says with a grin on her face.

 “Wanda?” I can already picture the mess that my apartment is going to be tomorrow. “How many people are coming?”

 “Oh, I sent out a group text,” Cho says shrugging her shoulders. “Come on you can’t get mad at me Olivia is back and I thought, since it took her 20 years to get here, we might as well show her a good time before she disappears again into the hoard of soccer moms.”

 “Hey,” Olivia says in protest.

 “Plus, True America with the Avengers. How amazing is this going to be!” Cho says.

 “Just saying, I’m not going to be cleaning up vomit again like last time.”

 We walk towards the Founding Fathers that’s just a couple doors down and I walk up to the bar while Cho and Olivia do some much needed catching up. “Hi I need a bottle of Jack Daniels and Smirnoff.”

 “We need gin and Jagermeister too,” Cho calls out to me.

 “Sounds like one hell of a party,” I hear a voice say from behind me. I turn around to find Bucky and Bahni sitting at a table a couple feet away from the bar.

 “Oh hey!” I say smiling at them, “Hey Bahni.” She smiles at me and returns the greeting.

 “Guess who's here!” I say pointing at Olivia.

 “Bucky,” she says with a smile on her face, “Ben keeps asking when you’re going to visit. Are you coming tonight?” She asks.

 “Yeah you guys should,” Cho says interjecting. “We’re playing True American at y/n’s.”

 “God, True American the drinking game?” Bahni says in reply, “I have some wild memories from that.”

 “Great! Then you’re coming,” Olivia says smiling at the woman seated next to Bucky.

 “y/n’s place in a hour alright!” Cho says as I walk over to pay the bartender and pick up the small crate of bottles.

 We walk back to my apartment and soon after Steve and Sam arrived with a half dozen six packs. I do my best to hide the fragile stuff in my room while clearing up some more space. Wanda and Nat get here a few minutes later and we begin setting up for the game. I drag my coffee table to the center of the room and place the bottle of Jack in the center. Then with Cho’s help we create four lines of beer cans going out in different directions from the bottle of Jack.

 “Okay so how does this work again?” Steve says standing next to Cho watching her set up. Wanda and Nat having already played with us once set up the chairs around the room.

 “So this is the castle,” says Cho pointing to the table. “The bottle of Jack is the King and the beers are pawns.”

 “Umm,” Steve says with confusion still on his face.

 I’m torn from observing their conversation when I hear another knock at my door. I look over and find Dean poking his head in through the doorway.

 “Dean!” I say walking towards him, “What are you doing here?”

 “Oh I invited him,” Cho shouts from the other side of the room then goes back to explaining True American to a very confused Captain America. I groan internally thinking about the growing amount of people here and the state my apartment is going to be in tomorrow.

 …

 “Alright guys the game is True American.” Cho says loudly as we all huddle around her. “This time with a sexy new twist, Clinton Rules!”

 “I still have no idea how to play,” Steve says.

 “Don’t worry buddy me either,” Bucky says holding the bottle of pure alcohol Bruce gave him for Christmas.

 “It’s easy pick your intern, strip every time someone gives you a rule, and drink!” I say from beside Cho.

 “Yeah also the floor is lava,” Bahni shoots in.

 “What the hell is this game?” Sam says.

 “It’s like fifty percent candy land and fifty percent drinking game,” Wanda chimes in.

 “One! Two! Three! Four! JFK,” Nat yells starting us off.

 “FDR!” the rest of us yell, well the ones that know what the hell we’re doing.

 I grab the nearest can of beer and start the game with a shotgun tip off while everyone around me chants, “Chug, chug, chug, chug!” After i’m done I jump onto the nearest chair and the game begins.

 The rest of the night passes by in a blur of screaming, jumping from chair to chair, chugging beer, and doing shots. Even Steve and Bucky, who are usually always sober, end up getting a little tipsy when Bucky breaks open his bottle. I’m down to my bra and a pink fluffy tutu I got from a old halloween costume. Sam’s shitless, Olivia’s wearing a makeshift scarf top, Wanda is on top of my coffee table holding my broom and Steve and Bucky are surprisingly animated.

 Steve trips when moving from my bar stool to a chair and ends up on the floor in a very uncoordinated awkward fall and we yell, “Lava.” He tries to defend himself from the empty cans of beer we pummel him with. Across the room I spot Bucky and Bahni with their arms around each other balancing themselves on my arm chair.

 Cho, whose considerably drunk at this point yells, “My name is Eli Whitney and I invented the cotton gin.” Then proceeds to chug gin straight from the bottle as the rest of the room chants, “Gin, gin, gin!” Boy she’s going to regret that in the morning. Surprisingly everyone around me seems to be so carefree and happy. Am I the only one who is still stressed right now? I keep sensing that eerie feeling of fear always lurking behind every corner.

 I push the feeling down hear Nat yell, “Iron Curtain!” She holds up the broom like a scepter, standing in her underwear.

 “What,” says a confused Sam, who is now stripped down to his grey boxers.

 “Two of us have to go behind the iron curtain and french!” I say.

 The room erupts in noise and we do the count. I put up two fingers against my forehead and wait for the others.

 “NOoo!!” I hear Cho, who's holding up a three, yell in surprise.

 “YEss!” I hear Nat and Olivia yell in unison.

 Bucky’s POV

 I haven’t been tipsy in a long time and the feeling is quite freeing. We’re jumping around the room on chairs yelling god knows what and laughing. I’m standing with my arms around Bhani and two fingers held against my forehead waiting to find out who the victims of the iron curtain will be. Then I look around and realize everybody is staring at y/n and me.

 y/n’s POV

 Me and Bucky are locked in my bedroom behind my door, the iron curtain, with a group of immature children chanting, “kiss, kiss, kiss,” on the other side.

 I can hear Bahni yell, “french it!”

 “We want a picture!” Yells Nat.

 “I wanna see tongue,” Olivia yells.

 Bucky is leaning against the door, his back to me, banging on the wood trying to get the children on the other side to open it.

 “Yeah!!” I hear sam yell from the other side and I swear I heard Dean join in on the chanting.

 “Come on stop being a baby, lets just kiss,” I say to Bucky who's still leaning with his forehead against the door.

 “No!” Bucky says resolutely still banging against the door, “let us out!”

 The chanting continues outside but has devolved into mostly laughter.

 “Come on french me and we can leave!” I say looking him in the eye when he turns around.

 “y/n i’m not gonna kiss you,” he says walking towards me.

 “Just kiss me!”

 “y/n stop!” He says this time with more force.

 “Come on Barnes, just kiss me!”

 “No!” He says, “Not like this!”

 Bucky’s POV

 I don’t know why that came out of my mouth, maybe I was more tipsy then I thought I was and the words just sort of slipped out. y/n’s face changes and she raises her eyebrows, “What? What does that mean?”

 The alcohol didn’t help with articulation and I stumbled and said, “No nothing… I didn’t mean it… like that you know… it’s just we can’t… like this… you know? We can’t just… like that… you know that’s not…” I stammered over my words awkwardly and for the first time I realize that y/n might be the more sober one of the two of us. She stands in front of me in her purple bra and a ridiculous looking pink tutu eyes wide open and before she can say anything I say, “If you’ll excuse me,” and walk towards the window.

 “Bucky,” she follows me, “What are you doing?” I open her window and climb out onto the fire escape and lean over out towards where the living room window is facing. It’s icy out and i’m in my t-shirt but the chill doesn't bother me. “Oh my god Bucky!” y/n yells sticking her head outside the window. I can see the goosebumps running down her chest. I lean over the railing and look through one of the large living room windows and see the group still standing outside y/n’s bedroom door chanting kiss. Ironically Bahni and Dean seem to be just as invested as everyone else, they also seem just as equally drunk. With my metal arm I pull open the window in one smooth motion and swing myself over the railing and into y/n’s living room.

 y/n’s POV

 I hear a loud commotion outside and the bedroom door soon swings open for me and I stare wide eyed at Bucky who is standing in front of me. The rest of the room erupts in laughter after a moment of silence everyone goes back to playing the game. I’m left standing wide eyed staring at Bucky.

 “I can’t believe he climbed out of a building instead of kissing you!” Dean yelled from across the room standing on my coffee table and everyone booed. The event was soon forgotten and I shrugged it off shaking off any residual feelings I may have had about the incident and rather opted to chug some more beer. After the entire ordeal and crowning Steve the honorary True American most of us either left or passed out wherever we could find space. Dean took a cab home since he had a breakfast meeting tomorrow, he left me with a gentle kiss on the lips. I saw Bahni and Bucky walk out together as for the rest: Sam crashed on the floor beside the couch where Olivia slept. Wanda, Nat, and Cho took my bed and Steve awkwardly passed out horizontally on the bottom half of it, half on top of his girlfriend and half falling off the bed. That left me with only my arm chair to knock out on and I opted instead to clear up a couple cans and bottles before turning in. Sleep still seemed to elude me even in my state of intoxication. I picked up a couple cans and put them in a garbage bag and walked outside my apartment towards the trash room. I shoved the bag down the choot and walked back outside into the hall. I spotted Bucky standing outside my apartment leaning against the wall looking up at the ceiling.

 When he heard me walking towards him he looked over and said, “hey.”

 “Hey, I thought you left,” I said walking over to him and leaning on the wall opposite him.

 “I put Bahni in a cab.”

 “Why are you here?” I asked curiously.

 “I just wanted to come up and say goodnight before I left,” he says sighing and running his hand through his hair.

 “Goodnight Bucky.”

 “Goodnight y/n.”

 We stand there looking at each other for maybe a second too long and I push myself off of the wall and walk towards my door. Before I can step in I feel Bucky’s hand grab my arm and pull me towards him. I gasp at the sudden movement and feel his metal arm snake around my waist, effectively pulling me flush against him. I’m still in my bra and I can feel the cool zipper of his leather jacket press into my skin. His lips press onto mine and I freeze. I don’t know what’s happening.

 Bucky’s POV

Boy I’m going to regret this in the morning. But, as of now I am too drunk to care or have caution. I press my lips to hers and kiss her, feverishly, passionately. It only last a second or two and when I pull away she stares up at me with a doe eyed look that almost stops my heart. I can’t help myself and I learn back down again for a second time and press my lips onto hers and this time I swear I feel her kiss me back. But it’s just a second and I can’t be sure. I pull away and let her go and she takes a step back. I wish she would say something. Yet, at the same time before she has the chance I say, “I meant something like that.” If i’m going to kiss her, I’m damn sure going to do it right. I take a step back and walk towards the staircase, leaving her in the dark hallway alone.

 y/n’s POV

 I stumble towards my living room, closing the front door behind me, and fall down on my armchair. “What the fuck!!” I whisper into the dark room. Olivia stirs in her sleep on the sofa next to me and I put my hands over my mouth.

 “y/n?” I hear a hoarse voice coming out of my bedroom. I turn around to Wanda scratching her head and stumbling towards me, “what’s wrong?” she asks squinting her eyes and looking at me, “you look scared.”

 I push down whatever i’m feeling, plaster on a smile, and say, “just sleepy and you guys took my bed!”

 “Hold on,” Wanda says and stumbles to the kitchen, probably to get some water from the sound of her voice. Once she’s back she says, “come on.”

 We walk over towards the bedroom and she grabs one of my comforters and lays it on the floor at the foot of my bed. “Grab his hand,” she whispers pointing at Steve who is passed out hanging off the edge of the bottom of my bed. We each take a hand and pull, “why is he so heavy.”

 He rolls over with a thud and I whisper, “fuck.”

 “He’s still knocked out,” she whispers. Wanda climbs back into bed and shoves Nat over a little to make some space for me. Nat groans. I get into the crowded bed and lay there with my eyes wide open. If I was having problems sleeping before, now is just…