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scoobydoofenshmirtz · 3 years

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The Horny Cinematography of Seasons 4 and 5 of Supernatural

So I made this kinda silly post about how horny the late Kripke era of Supernatural was and it was mostly meant as a joke, but then it got me thinking. So I did a little bit of digging, went through some memorable scenes, and noticed some actual patterns in the way Dean and Castiel are shot versus other characters. Disclaimer: this is not exactly a scientific analysis. I didn’t rewatch the entire two seasons for this and there are probably shots with other characters that I missed that go against it, but this is just the general trend that I noticed.

Click on the images for higher resolution. Analysis is under the cut.

So the general premise of this analysis is that Cas and Dean are shot noticeably close-up, typically staring intensely into each other’s eyes. I think we all know about the whole staring thing, but the actual close-ups were way more intense then I think some people might realize, especially when compared to other interactions between different characters. Cas in particular is shot very close-up frequently whether he’s talking to someone else or by himself (there are so many gorgeous close-ups of Misha in season 4), but the intense eye contact is pretty much only with Dean.

It starts off almost immediately in 4x01 Lazarus Rising where in Dean and Castiel’s very first interaction, they stand very close and the camera focuses on their faces. First we have two close-ups, then in what is maybe my favorite shot in all of Supernatural, Castiel steps in closer to Dean and the close-ups get even tighter. He tilts his head and stares thoughtfully at Dean with those big blue eyes. Cut to Dean’s look of discomfort after being told (very accurately) “you don’t think you deserve to be saved.”

Things amp up in literally Castiel’s second appearance in 4x02 Are You There God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester with one of the horniest Destiel scenes in the show (again this is only their second interaction!) We have Castiel unexpectedly showing up at Bobby’s house, Dean sassing him, and Castiel stepping very close to Dean and saying “You should show me some respect. I dragged you out of Hell. I can throw you back in.” This is a very tense interaction with some beautiful low key lighting that pretty much went extinct after season 5. Notice how tight the frame is, even compared to 4x01. These are extreme close-ups where both Dean and Castiel’s chins and foreheads are cut out of the frame.

Castiel’s third appearance in 4x03 In the Beginning is a lot more prominent as he has many scenes throughout the episode instead of just one. I’m not gonna include pictures of all of them because there’s lot, but there are plenty of close-ups and intense gazes between the two (e.g. sitting on the bed, “Hello Dean. What were you dreaming about?” which according to Misha, Kim manners said was “too gay” but they did it like that anyway) and contains the first time they touch and the first time they are shot in more high key lighting. Go rewatch the episode if you want to see more lovely close-ups between Dean and Cas.

Next I would like to draw your attention to episode 4x07 It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester. This is Castiel’s fourth appearance and the first time we see him interact with a character who’s not Dean. This is where the differences between how they’re shot start to become apparent. First we have Sam’s first interaction with Castiel (greetings blood freak) that is shot with standard close-ups. Eventually, Dean comes in, conversation happens blah blah blah and we get to the more intense discussion about how the angels want to destroy the town. The discussion is between Dean, Cas, Sam, and Uriel, but Dean and Cas get most of the focus. The camera tells us that they are the main subjects in this scene. Dean and Cas are shot more close-up and tighter and they are standing closer and looking in each others eyes unlike Sam who is looking back and forth between them and standing a few steps back.

Of course this doesn’t stop in season 4. Here is a similar example from 5x02 Good God, Ya’ll! but the difference between Dean and Cas and Sam is even more obvious. This is the “I'm hunted, I rebelled, and I did it, all of it, for you,” exchange which I find interesting. Some people could say here that Cas means “you” plural as in Sam and Dean but the Camera is so focused on just Dean and Cas while Sam just sorta hangs there in the background.

One thing that I think is interesting is that these types of shots-extreme close-ups with two characters looking into each other’s eyes and standing no feet apart-are not necessarily exclusive to Dean and Cas, but they are usually in a different context. Pretty much all (at least that I could remember) the other examples of this type of shot are between one character and a villain. Below we have three fairly intense confrontations between characters, Sam and Uriel in 4x07 It’s the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester, Dean and Alastair in 4x16 On the Head of a Pin, and Dean and Cas in 4x22 Lucifer Rising. The composition is almost exactly the same with similar lighting as well, but one of these things is not like the other. Very obviously Cas is not a villain and this scene in particular is a huge moment for his character that cements his decision to fully rebel against Heaven for Dean.

Also characters that tend to be that close together looking into each other’s eyes in two shots are usually villains except for Dean and Cas. Below we have a shot of Ruby and Sam very close together right before he drinks her blood and a very close-up shot of Dean and Alastair both in 4x16 On the Head of a Pin. Compare that to the two shot from 4x02 Are You There God? It’s Me, Dean Winchester above for example. There is a certain sexual nature in these two villain scenes (and a lot of villain interactions on Supernatural in general). Obviously, Sam and Ruby are literally having sex, but Alastair is also portrayed as a villain who sexually objectifies his victims (the torture scene with Ruby, calling Dean “Daddy’s little girl, etc.) but Cas is not a villain and yet the framing is very similar.

Now I want to compare two fight scenes, one in season 4 and one in season 5. Here we have the fight scene between Ruby and Sam in 4x09 I Know What You Did Last Summer. Ruby is of course a sexy lady who Sam sleeps with in a sexy fight scene where she “proves” that she wants to help Sam by killing the other demon instead of Sam. But of course, the fight scene in 5x18 Point of No Return is shot way more close-up and Dean and Cas are inches away from each other. While I wouldn’t described this scene as “sexy” (Cas is literally beating Dean to a pulp) it is way more charged...intimate isn’t exactly the right word but there’s a similar but more intense erotic energy than in the fight scene with Ruby.

Unrelated side note: there is a great use of breaking the 180 degree rule in this scene that I think works way better in this instance at disorienting the viewer than the shaky cam does.

Next I have some random examples I noticed that show some of the different shots between characters. We have Anna in 4x10 Heaven and Hell right before she has sex with Dean. It’s fairly close-up, but still pretty loose framing compared to a lot of scenes between Dean and Cas. Anna’s entire face is still in the frame. Then we have a scene between Sam and Ruby in 4x09 I Know What You Did Last Summer that is also not as close-up as a lot of Dean and Cas scenes. On the bottom is a shot from 5x17 99 Problems which is I think the closest Sam and Cas physically get in these seasons before they ever hug. It’s more of a medium close-up than most of the scenes between Dean and Cas where they get that close. Lastly I have probably the tightest close-ups between Dean and Cas from 4x16 On the Head of a Pin. It’s similar to the shots from 4x02 but the context is pretty different with Cas trying to reassure Dean about the apocalypse. I know these don’t really have a theme but I thought they were good examples of the general pattern.

Finally I would like to point out a scene that is sort of the opposite which is the infamous staring scene in 4x21 When the Levee Breaks that goes on for like an hour. I don’t really know what to say about this scene only that I can’t believe it’s real. They literally just stand and stare at each other.

So what’s the point of all this? I honestly don’t really know. None of these observations are hard and fast rules and I’m sure there are times when other characters are shot like this. However, Dean and Cas seem to be the only ones consistently framed this way-tight close-ups, staring into each other’s eyes standing zero feet apart. What does it all mean? To me it shows that their bond is unique and special (profound you might say). It’s not even like they’re shot in a similar manner to love interests, it’s that their framing is unique, it stands out. Was it on purpose? Maybe. How shots end up looking is interesting because it really is the work of a lot of different people including the director, the cinematographer, the editors and more. I don’t think they were thinking “we should film Dean and Cas in this very intense way because they’re in love” or anything, but they obviously recognized there was something special between these two characters. And truly, the intentions don’t matter all that much to me. What’s there is there, and watching it the first time around I noticed how close Dean and Cas always were and watching it back post 15x18 all those shots stand out even more to me. There’s really no conclusion here, but I think it’s interesting to look a bit more closely at the cinematography in TV shows that we don’t always think of as having the highest quality production. There’s a lot of layers to be discovered outside of scripts and acting and things we tend to focus on more as viewers.

#destiel #spn meta #supernatural #the cinnamon tography #yes i went to film school and this is what im doing now

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hunting-winchester · 3 years

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My thoughts on the finale

(Sorry, this ended up being soooo much longer than I intended, but it was also therapeutic for me to get it out, so if you read it all, sorry again, but thanks!)

I’ve been sitting on this for the past week trying to sort through my feelings about all of this. But the finale of Supernatural, while it did make me cry because my comfort show for the past 3 years (has it really only been 3 years since I started this side blog?) has ended, which was my distraction from the deaths of not only close family but also a friend whose death still affects me today. The newer seasons helped me more in the dealing with death, and I’ll explain that later, but I feel like the end of the show kind of took all of that and threw it out the window with a note that states “we don’t care.”

I’m not here to be mad at the actors. I know none of this is their fault. They did their best to make a great end to a show that was written for them. Their acting was spot on and made me feel for the characters that both them and I love so much. However, the ending took that love and put it through the grinder and I do put most (if not all) the blame on the network.

So I binged Supernatural in the summer of ‘17 within a month. I started it because I remembered my mom watching an episode when I was about 7 or 8 and I was so fascinated by it (episode Route 666 where Dean hangs up on Sam after the ghost truck disappears because Sam had a hunch that the truck couldn’t drive on hallowed ground. Dean didn’t like the idea that it was just a hunch, sticks in my mind). Within the first 5 episodes I was in love with the boys, and while I loved them both I became drawn to Dean over the next few seasons. Now I love them both, but like many others I started to see myself in him. Some anger issues with a heart so big that he would do anything to help his family. And a little bit of self depreciation that starts to escalate a bit more as the seasons go on.

Then I made it to Lazarus Rising. I met this absolute badass character who later becomes part of the family. He grows into the most kind hearted character that tries to do everything in the name of good, even when it tends to go a little off the rails. Then I saw a little bit of me in him as well. Good intentions, sometimes misguided, and only wants the best for the ones he loves.

I’ll focus more on the season I was here live for, not because the earlier seasons didn’t matter but because this is where things became really personal in my life. Supernatural 13 started on October 12, and on the 23rd I lost my friend. Everything started falling apart around me and nothing made sense. Nothing made sense about why them because it should be the terrible people that die terrible deaths, not good people. And while nothing seemed right in the world, I knew one thing for sure- that Supernatural will still be on just as scheduled and nothing could take that from me. So I made sure to still find time to watch that episode because I’ll be damned if I let this whole week go to hell. Let me find at least one good thing to happen. And while the scene didn’t fix the shitshow that became my life that week, a little bit of happiness raised in me when I saw Cas in the last scene of the episode.

So especially from that point on the show became of my little world away from reality. My reality sucked and, sure the Winchester’s lives weren’t all sunshine and rainbows, it was a nice distraction for an hour a week when I can watch the characters I care about continue to keep loving the ones they love.

The season continued then ended with a nice lead into season 14. I love Jensen and was ready to see how he would tackle the new role of Michael. So ready for the new season, in a new town 3 hours away from my hometown, (motivation being that I felt too close to everything that happened with my friend) and just ready to see where life would take me. Then I lost my Grandfather and my Aunt within a month of each other and absolutely no one would hire in the town I moved to. So another shitty summer and I end up moving back home within 3 months.

I continued watching Supernatural when it aired again in October; grateful for the hour weekly distraction again, and I kept up with it. I would log onto here after the episode, reblog things and read people’s reactions. I enjoy this community so much. Then the episode came in ‘19 where Dean was in the infirmary after having his head bashed against the wall a couple times and Jack was worried about whether he’d get through it. And the speech Cas gave is something that has stuck with me ever since then, because since the death of my friend it had been the same thing I had been telling myself.

Jack: What’s the point- if everyone I care about is just gonna leave?

Cas: The point is that they were here at all and you got to know them. When they’re gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them.

This felt absolutely validating to me. I was tired of hurting. I was done with and angry at everything and felt as if I just wanted it to be gone, but I kept telling myself that it only hurts because I loved them so much. When I heard that line, watching my favorite character recite it to Jack, it felt as if he was talking to me because it was something that I needed to hear at that point in my life. It felt as if they knew I needed saving and reached through the screen to pull me up and say what you’re feeling is valid and there are people out there who are feeling like you are now, and all of you will end up okay.

So I took this to heart and lived the best I could everyday. I turned that into my mantra and started living the life I knew they would want me to; with kindness and love and understanding.

I owe a lot to these characters. I owe my ability to go forth with kindness and understanding to Cas for making me feel valid. I owe my ability to move past my anger and finding my identity to Dean. I owe a lot to Misha and Jensen to bringing these characters to the point that I can feel all of this. To get to the point that I may be a little healthier than I was 3 years ago.

And then season 15. The final season. The season where I say goodbye.

It started out as a nice tribute I believe. They had brought back some old characters that we had missed (lordy I missed Kevin and Adam). They did some things that we had talked about a lot on this platform that we would love to see before the series ended. It seemed like it would be a good ending to a show we all love. We saw what our boys went through all these years and they were evident in the beginning of the season and was slowly being pulled through the season. We saw how they differed from the early season and got to see them with their new-found family. Do I wish more of the episode included more of TFW 2.0? Of course, but I’m still happy we got as much as we did... up until the end.

Episode 18. We knew it was coming before it happened. There was so much speculation about this after the convention where Misha and Jensen had both talked about the emotional scene that Richard Speight Jr. directed. How it was a hard day on set and that absolutely no one was cracking jokes during this time which was a really big indication about how important this scene would be. We knew what would happen, but we didn’t know what all would happen.

We got Cas’ confession, and as much as some are like “you can interpret that as you like,” we knew what was meant here. We knew where Cas was coming from and to see his happiness to save the one that he loves was something I will never forget from when I first watched it.

And after all this hype for this after the fact, not just from fans but also the actors, we knew there had to be more to this. This was a monumental moment! There had to be more! But we know where this is going.

Episode 19. Not much to report. Which as Jensen had put it, episode 19 was the season finale and episode 20 would be the series finale. Episode 19 ended like I thought it would generally. Chuck is finished. Jack is the new God (which some of us guess would happen at the beginning of the season. I feel amazed we got something right after the fiasco that is episode 20). I still don’t understand the montage at the end of 19. That’s what I would have expected at the end of 20. If only we knew that was the first of SO. MANY. DAMN. POINTLESS. MONTAGES. But I’ll move on for now.

Episode 20. If you would have asked me 13 years ago how this show would end, I feel as if this episode would be pretty damn close to my answer. That’s not good writing. “Oh Dean dies and Sam gets to live and have an ‘apple pie’ life. Makes total sense!” And that would make sense if nothing in the last 13 years happened. There has been so much growth in not only the last 13 years but also just within the last season, and it’s just all gone. Dean dies, not because he wanted to, but because of another hunt that his dad didn’t even finish. Something that could have been done in season 1. He dies, not ready, not having the chance to finally experience freedom from his “destiny” (something that this show has made them fight against since the introduction of the angels might I add!), not giving an ounce of effort to stay alive, and not ever really finding peace. I’m sorry but there was absolutely no way that Dean could find the shred of peace he deserved within 2 weeks of escaping Chuck’s grasp. But this is where I started having issues in the episode.

Dean, a character I love and saw myself in for years, dies before he finds peace and in all honesty, true happiness. A character that has been known for suicidal actions and thoughts (episode 13x05 ring a loud bell?) and you decide to say he needs to die before it gets better? Or were you saying that it only gets better or peaceful for people like him after he dies? Because either way that sends a really shitty message. I don’t think I have found my peace. I think I’m better than I was a couple years ago, much like Dean, but I sure as Hell haven’t found my peace. So are you telling me that death is the only way I find it? Because I’m sure I’m not the only one reading it like this.

Dean gets a small hunter’s funeral (if you want to even call it that). No one they befriended or became family with along the way is there (sure, blame Covid. I’m sure it was part of it, but Hell. Surely something could have been done to bring at least a couple more people in for this). Then we get Dean’s heaven where Cas is mentioned in a throw away comment that you would miss if you weren’t intently paying attention (he’s out of the empty and helped with Dean’s heaven. Awesome. Show him then). We literally only see one person in Dean’s heaven. Bobby. Which he is great, but what about the “everyone we lost on the way” that was seriously just mentioned the episode before? They not there?

And from here, we get even more montages. Why the Hell, do we need to fast forward through Sam’s life, with shots of Dean driving around heaven? Why not explore more into Sam’s family (not just the wife and kids but also check up on Donna? Jody? Sweet goodness any indication of what the Hell happened to Eileen!?) Why not show Dean seeing his loved ones in his heaven? WHY NOT SHOW DEAN SEEING CAS AFTER WHAT HAPPENED IN 18? So much could have been done following up what happened in 18 and it was chosen to be ignored! Which is awful in so many damn ways, but it doesn’t matter for this because it was completely ignored. And after that 10 min montage (which montages should not last that long. I don’t care what anyone says. If a montage lasts that long, they could have made important scenes pertaining to that) Sam dies old and is greeted by Dean in Heaven and we look off into the sunset because finally we’re all happy... and dead.

All of this, and it feels like the message through this whole thing is “yall can fight for happiness, but yall won’t get it until you’re 6 feet down in a grave!” No peace. No found family. No fighting the good fight. Just death is the end, and that’s all that matters... and that’s where it all stings. I watched the characters I see myself in for years, got validation from them and felt as if things for them could get better after all of this, maybe they could for me too. Only things didn’t get better for them. It ended in death and only “happiness” after the fact. This isn’t a message I expected from this show, but it sure as Hell is the message I received.

So thanks C*W. Way to make all of this “keep fighting” mean absolute shit. You did a bang up job murdering a show you housed for years.

#supernatural #spn #supernatural spoilers #spn spoilers #supernatural 15 #spn 15 #supernatural season 15 #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #jack kline #jensen ackles #misha collins #jared padalecki #alex calvert #spn 15x20 #carry on

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sidecarghost · 4 years

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Angels are Supposed to be Heartless

Summary: Angst-Ending Canon Balthazar POV of pre-Spn and Spn(s4-s6) Inspired by Castiel agreeing with Dean that angels are heartless in s4e10

Suptober Day 8 - Heartless

~~ Shortly after Creation ~~ Gabriel: Castiel, why aren't you sparring with any of the other angels? Castiel: No one has asked me to join them... Gabriel: Oh, let me see if I can help with that. *yells loudly* Who wants to have Castiel in their group? Balthazar: Castiel, you can join my group with Benjamin and Uriel if you'd like. Gabriel: You heard them hop to it, Castiel. Castiel: Hello Benjamin, Uriel, Balthazar. Benjamin: Nice to meet you Castiel. Uriel: Hello Castiel. Balthazar: I'm glad you joined us Castiel, now our group can dominate in the competitions. Castiel: I am glad too, brother. Balthazar: Thanks, but you are not just a brother to me anymore. Now you are my friend. Castiel: I'd like that Balthazar, what do friends do? Balthazar: Friends do everything together. Come on, Castiel, let's spar together. Castiel: Okay. Um... Balthazar? Balthazar: Is something wrong Castiel? Castiel: How long will we stay friends? Balthazar: I think forever, now that we are friends, Castiel. If it is okay with you, you've always got little old me. Castiel: Yes, I'll always have you. And you'll always have me too.

~~ 200,000 BCE - humans have been around for 200,000 years so my guess is that demons started existing around that time too ~~ Balthazar: Congrats on making Captain Castiel. Castiel: Thank you Balthazar, you've always been a good friend. Balthazar: It's nothing, but I'm looking forward to our first battles. Castiel: Yes, watching Earth has become pretty boring. Laying waste to demons will be a nice change. Balthazar: Our garrison has the best warriors in Heaven, so the demons won't even know what hit them. Castiel: Victory should be quick and decisive, I want to minimize any losses on our side. Balthazar: I don't know, I wouldn't mind losing Ishim. Castiel: Well, Ishim is my commander so I'd rather not lose him. Balthazar: Oh come on, that dick with wings. I think the only reason he outranks you is because the stick up his ass is almost as big the one stuck up Michael and Raphael. Castiel: I'm guessing a "stick up his ass" is an idiom and not meant to be taken literally. Regardless, Ishim, Raphael, and Michael are all dedicated to following God's will. So they have my loyalty and respect. Balthazar: They may have your loyalty and respect, but they don't deserve it. And yes, a "stick stuck up the ass" means you are uptight and prone to ruin anyone's attempt at fun or a good time. Castiel: By that definition, I feel like I also have a "stick stuck up my ass" then. Balthazar: Yes, but I don't hold it against you. On the contrary, I see it as my job as your friend to make you appreciate the finer things in life than duty and orders. Castiel: Your attempts to lessen my commitment to duty and orders will be entertaining but completely useless. Balthazar: Wouldn't be any fun if it wasn't a challenge.

~~ September 18, 2008 - the day of Lazarus Rising ~~ Castiel: I have been tasked with leading a troop of angels to Hell to resurrect the righteous man. The Apocalypse that has been foretold is coming to pass. Balthazar: Are you still playing their games for them Castiel? Castiel: I don't know what you mean by games. I need to rescue Dean Winchester because it is God's will. Balthazar: Did Raphael tell you that was God's will, because last I heard God hasn't talked to Raphael since the dawn of Creation. That was about fourteen billion years ago. Castiel: I didn't come here to argue Balthazar. This might be one of the most important missions ever undertaken by Heaven, and I value your friendship and your abilities in battle. Please join my troop and help me with the mission. Balthazar: Of course, Castiel. I will always follow you into battle. You can always count on little old me. Castiel: Thank you, my friend. Balthazar: So, which lucky angel gets to play babysitter to Michael's vessel after the rescue mission? Castiel: I think it will be Uriel and myself. Balthazar: Well, try not to fall in love with your ward. You don't want to end up like Anna. Castiel: I am committed to Heaven, no one could ever change that. And I would certainly never leave Heaven because of one man. Balthazar: I am sure that is true, but humanity tends to make things more complicated. Castiel: Your fear seems absurd, but I appreciate your concern.

~~ September 25, 2008 - the day of Are You There, God? It's Me, Dean Winchester ~~ Balthazar: So how is babysitting Michael's vessel going? Castiel: Dean is very obstinate. After pulling him out of Hell I was expecting more deference. Balthazar: Well, if you want my two cents. Try to put yourself in his shoes. Castiel: My vessel does not have the same shoe size as Dean. Balthazar: Oh, yes and use plenty of humor. Laughter is good for the soul, and humans have souls so good place to start. Castiel: I guess I have been used to obeying orders from Heaven since Creation. So I agree that trying to understand his perspective could make communication between Dean and I easier. Balthazar: That's right you catch more flies with honey than vinegar. Castiel: I do like insects.

~~ November 20, 2008 - the day of Heaven and Hell ~~ Castiel: Do you think angels are heartless? Balthazar: I need some context for this question. Castiel: While Uriel and I were attempting to carry out a mission, Dean called us "heartless sons of bitches." Balthazar: Okay, and what was your response? Castiel: I told him that, as a matter of fact that is what we are. Balthazar: Because we are soldier's that exist purely to carry out God's will? Castiel: Yes, exactly Balthazar. Allowing yourself to be clouded by emotions would run counter to us fulfilling our purpose of carrying out God's will. Balthazar: I'm sorry, Castiel. I don't think I can answer your question about our purpose. I think it is up to each of us to discover on our own. If you believe carrying out God's will is your true purpose, I would never try to take that away from you. Castiel: Don't you feel the same way though? Balthazar: I am proud of who I am Castiel, but that doesn't mean I want to share it for judgement by other angels. Castiel: Well, I know who you are Balthazar. Balthazar: Let's hear it. Castiel: You are my friend. Balthazar: Of course, we will be friends until the universe burns out and beyond, Castiel. Castiel: Oh, I meant to tell you, I have a nickname now. The Winchesters gave it to me. Balthazar: Eww, is it contagious? Do they make some kind of inoculation to get rid of it? Castiel: Very funny Balthazar, the nickname they gave me is Cas. Balthazar: Cas, huh? Well I kind of like it, maybe humans aren't completely awful after all.

~~ May 14, 2009 - the day of Lucifer Rising ~~ Castiel: Balthazar, remember when you doubted the Apocalypse was the will of God? Balthazar: I doubt a lot things Cas, but yes I remember. Has Dean Winchester changed your mind on that score? Castiel: Well, it is hard to sit on the sidelines and watch these frail, short lived humans fight so passionately. They are so delicate, but they feel things so deeply and charge in where angels would fear to tread. Balthazar: They sound like fools to me. Castiel: I don't know if I would call them fools, but they are more stubborn then I would have ever predicted. Balthazar: Fools or not, you know I have been suspicious of Heaven's middle management. It seems like with Dad gone the angels upstairs have decided to become bullies and bores. So, if you have doubts about Zachariah I will gladly stand against him with you. Castiel: Thank you, Balthazar. I appreciate the advice and the support. Balthazar: Of course Cas, our friendship is one of the few things that really matters to me. You would need to become a megalomaniac like Raphael and his goons, before I could ever consider ending it. Castiel: If that is the case, then we will always be friends because I know I would never try to take over Heaven. I am a good soldier, but I'm not a leader. Balthazar: I can understand that, the angels in Heaven are a bunch of sheep. They would need so much of your attention it would drive anyone crazy. That is probably why dear old Dad flew the coop. Castiel: Maybe if the angels had free will, they would prove more capable then you think. Balthazar: Haha, I doubt it, but keep dreaming Cas, your optimism is adorable. Just watch out for vanity and hubris, Dad made pride a sin for good reason. Castiel: You don't need to lecture me on pride or sins, Balthazar. Balthazar: I only intended a friendly word of warning.

~~ May 20, 2010 - A week after Swan Song ~~ Castiel: Benjamin, the Apocalypse has been averted, but Raphael is looking to start it again. I'm looking for angels that will stand with me against Raphael. Benjamin: I will stand with you, and I am sure the other angels in our garrison will be loyal to you too Castiel. Castiel: Good, we will need all the help we can get if Raphael intends to wage a civil war. Benjamin: I trust you, my friend, although I am sad it has gotten to the point where angels are killing angels. Castiel: Yes, avoiding the Apocalypse seems to have saved humanity but damned Heaven. I guess all things must come to an end. Benjamin: Well, if Heaven must come to an end I am glad to be fighting on your side. I will talk to other angels in our garrison to enlist them under your flag as well. Castiel: Have you heard anything about Balthazar? I haven't seen him since Raphael kicked me into next week. Benjamin: I am sorry to tell you this brother, but Balthazar was killed during the first skirmish between Raphael loyalists and those sympathetic to your cause. Castiel: Where does Balthazar's body rest Benjamin? He was a very good friend. He put up with all my moods, and supported me in all my ideas. We fought countless battles together. He gave me sound advice whether I would listen to it or not. And he was the first angel to call me friend. Benjamin: I don't know where his body rests, but if I find out I will let you know. Castiel: Thank you Benjamin.

~~ October 8, 2010 - Third Man (source: following lines are from the script for this episode) ~~ Balthazar: Cas. You're here. Castiel: Balthazar. Balthazar: It's so good to see you Castiel: I grieved your death. Balthazar: Yeah, yeah. I'm sorry about that, you know. I wanted them to think, you know, so they wouldn't come looking for me? Castiel: You stole the Staff of Moses? Balthazar: Sure, sure. I stole a lot of things. Castiel: You were a great and honorable soldier. We fought together. Balthazar: Yes, too many times to count. Castiel: I know you. You're not some common thief. Balthazar: Common? No. Thief? Eh. Castiel: I need your help. Balthazar: I know. I've been hearing all about you, and as far as I'm concerned, you and me, Cas, nothing's changed. We're brothers. Of course I want to help you. [ Thunder crashes. ] Balthazar: Was that you? Castiel: *shakes his head* Balthazar: Oh, that's my cue then. Tell, uh, Raphael to bite me. [disappears] [Raphael and Castiel battle, Raphael prepares to stab Castiel with an angel blade.] Raphael: Somehow, I don't think God will be bringing you back this time. Balthazar: Hey! Look at my junk. [ Holds up a glowing crystal] Raphael: No! [ turns to salt from head to toe] Balthazar: *chuckles* Same thing happened to Lot's wife. Iodize the poor sucker, and your kitchen is stocked for life. Castiel: You came back. Balthazar: Well, now Raphael will have to go shopping for a new vessel. Should give me a nice long head start on him. Until next time. Castiel: Next time.

~~ February 25, 2011 - The French Mistake ~~ Castiel: Balthazar, we need to get your weapons for the war. Balthazar: The moment I go for them Raphael will be on top of us, and steal the weapons from under our nose. Castiel: So what do you propose? Balthazar: Well, we could send a decoy troop on a fake mission to get the weapons. Then Raphael would be occupied long enough for us to go to the actual location and gather them up before the old bird is any wiser. Castiel: Who could we send as a decoy? Raphael would expect only the best be sent on such a mission. And if Raphael guesses the team is just a diversion, we may never get the weapons. Balthazar: I know the perfect team to act as decoys. Castiel: Who? Balthazar: Two very stubborn, thick-headed humans that you seem to adore beyond all reason. Castiel: No, I won't put Sam or Dean Winchester in harm's way. Balthazar: Oh, they will be quite safe where I send them. I have learned a spell to open a portal to an alternate universe. And that universe has no supernatural in it. Castiel: How would they return if there is no supernatural there. Balthazar: I'll just pluck them back here after we've gotten the weapons from their actual location. It will take some time, but the Winchesters will probably enjoy a nice vacation from monster hunting. They can experience a little bit of normal life for a change. Raphael will send angels after the two brothers, but the angels will be power blocked. So Sam and Dean should have no problem taking them out. Castiel: Balthazar, we have been friends for a very long time, but if Sam or Dean are harmed in any way during your plan I will destroy you myself. Balthazar: Of course, I'd expect no less. No need to be so dramatic. Castiel: Ok, run your plan as you see fit. The mission will be successful as long as the weapons are secured, and Sam and Dean are unharmed. Balthazar: You know those weapons alone will not be enough to win against Raphael and his followers. Castiel: Yes, I am aware of that. Balthazar: Got any plans you'd like to share with little old me? Castiel: I may have something in the works, but I'm not ready to discuss it with anyone yet. Balthazar: I will try to get over the crippling pain caused by your lack of faith in me. Castiel: A guilt trip won't work. For my plan to succeed it requires the utmost secrecy. But if you have any other ideas, I am open to suggestions. Balthazar: We could get some more souls headed up Heaven's way. Castiel: How? Balthazar: Time travel to some tragic event in the past and prevent the tragedy. We could get plenty of souls for our war machine. The bigger the disaster the better the reward. Castiel: Okay, after we recover your weapons you can undo some disaster. I have the same conditions for that mission though, Sam and Dean Winchester can't have their timeline negatively impacted in any way. Balthazar: Yes, brother, I know. And I hope I get invited to the wedding after all the trouble I have gone through to keep them safe and sound. Remind me which one you are marrying again, is it the tall one with puppy-eyes or the freckle faced one with a sarcastic attitude? Castiel: I am not marrying Sam or Dean Winchester. Balthazar: Dean, that's right the righteous man you plucked out of perdition. Well, I did warn you to be careful back then didn't I? Castiel: This conversation is over.

~~ May 20, 2011 - Let it Bleed ~~ Castiel: I need your help finding Lisa and Ben. Balthazar: Well, we have something in common then. Which is nice, almost feels like old times. Castiel: You were already searching for Lisa and Ben? Balthazar: Yes, and this is really cramping my attempt to live out the remainder of my days in decadence. Castiel: It seems like Sam and Dean trust you more than they trust me. Balthazar: I can't imagine why they would. I've only met them a handful of times, and I try my best to ridicule and vex them. But I guess my natural charm must overpower their better judgement. Castiel: Everything I've done has been for Dean, but he refuses to understand that. Balthazar: Maybe, you started down this path to keep your friend Dean safe. But are you sure that you don't have other motives now? Castiel: No, Dean fought Heaven and Hell to stop the Apocalypse. He shouldn't have to suffer, because Heaven is managed by dicks with wings. I have to stop Raphael and his followers at any cost. Balthazar: Be careful, my friend, any cost may be much higher than you ever bargained. Castiel: I am committed to my current course Balthazar, no ominous warnings are going to make me give it up. Balthazar: I know, perseverance has always been your strength, don't let it also become your doom. Castiel: Are you going to nag me forever or can we find Lisa and Ben? Balthazar: Castiel, just no matter what happens between us. Please remember I love you, and I will always be your friend. Castiel: Is your intention to delay me until we have lost any chance for success? If so, then you should know by now that I won’t hesitate to kill those standing in my way, and because you were once a good friend I will give you a chance to flee now instead. Balthazar: No, delaying you was not my intention. Let’s go find Lisa and Ben, my old friend. Castiel: Good, after we find them I'd like you to go to Sam and Dean with their location. They seem to trust you more, and I wouldn't want Lisa and Ben to be harmed because Sam and Dean were unsure if they could trust information from me.

~~ May 20, 2011 - The Man Who Knew Too Much (source: following lines are from the script for episode) ~~ Dean: What the hell took you so long? Balthazar: Honestly? I was having second thoughts. Dean: About? Balthazar: About whether to help you. I was thinking maybe... Maybe I should rip out your sticky bits instead. Bobby: And what did you decide? Balthazar: Well... Cas and Crowley are there. That's where the show gets started. [Balthazar hands a piece of paper to Dean reads an address in Bootback, Kansas.] Dean: Alright, well give us a minute to pack up and then zap us there. Balthazar: Oh, no, no, no, no. I don't think so. Dean: Balthazar. Balthazar: I'm betraying a friend here. A very powerful friend. We all are. So I think I've stuck my neck out far enough already. Good luck. [disappears] ~~ Balthazar: You rang, Cas? Castiel: Yeah. We have a problem. Dean Winchester is on his way here. Balthazar: Really? Oh. How'd he even know where we were? Castiel: Apparently we have a Judas in our midst. Balthazar: Ah. *chuckles* Holy hell. Who is it? I bet it's that bloody little Cherub, isn't it? Castiel: I don't know. But I need you to find out. Balthazar: Of course. Um, right away. Right away. Uh, but what do you want me to do about Dean? Castiel: Nothing. I'll handle him myself. Balthazar: Castiel? Are you alright? Castiel: First Sam and Dean, and now this. I'm doing my best in impossible circumstances. My friends, they abandon me, plot against me. It's difficult to understand. Balthazar: Well, you've always got little old me. [Castiel disappears and reappears behind his friend, and he stabs Balthazar in the back with his angel blade.] Castiel: Yes, I'll always have you. Balthazar: Cas... [As Balthazar dies, his light fills the building.]

~~ November 16, 2017 - Tombstone (source: following line is from the script for episode) ~~ Castiel: Jack, I've killed people who didn't deserve it... my friends, I've killed people I loved. I wish I could tell you that it gets easier, that with time, it hurts less, but that would be a lie because it never gets easier. And those moments, they never stop hurting. But that doesn't mean that you should stop fighting. Doesn't mean that because you made a mistake and that's what this is, Jack. It's a mistake. That doesn't mean that you can't be better, do better. I believe that. I have to believe that.

~~ Epilogue ~~ [Castiel remembers a promise made billions of years ago to his friend] Balthazar: Is something wrong Castiel? Castiel: How long will we stay friends? Balthazar: I think forever, now that we are friends, Castiel. If it is okay with you, you've always got little old me. Castiel: Yes, I'll always have you. And you'll always have me too. [Castiel wonders why he ever thought angels were supposed to be heartless. Balthazar had clearly figured out long before he did that having a heart was not a weakness. Castiel wishes he had been as wise as his friend. Jack had made a mistake, a careless application of his power killed an innocent man. But Castiel had no such excuse, he had maliciously stabbed his friend in the back in cold blood.

Balthazar’s beautiful wings had been burnt into the wall of a decrepit warehouse. The angel that worshipped decadence and pleasure was killed ruthlessly in filth by his own friend. Balthazar had loved Castiel, and Castiel had betrayed that love in the most terrible way possible. Castiel had been a man obsessed and addicted to his own hunger for power. Once Castiel held that Purgatory jar in his hand, all thoughts of love and friendship died. The power was the only thing important to him anymore. Pure, righteous power to herald in a new age with himself as God. The memory sickened him now, and the agony in his chest never left.]

[Castiel silently speaks to Balthazar’s memory] Castiel: I always had you, but I never deserved you.

#suptober20 #spn fic #spn #castiel #balthazar #angst

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orionsangel86 · 5 years

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75 Must Watch Supernatural Episodes in preparation for Season 15

As you might recall, a while ago TV Guide posted an article about their choice of the top 75 episodes of Supernatural to watch as a catch up of the series before the final season.

I read that article, and found myself absolutely horrified at many of their choices and outraged that many of the all time best episodes (including ones extremely important to the story) were missed off.

Everyone has their own opinions of course, but when I disagree with something that much it tends to motivate me to act out of pure spite - I do love a good spite motivation - and so I have made my own list, for the fandom, of the 75 absolute must watch episodes for anyone who wants to understand the integral story of Supernatural.

I have to hand it to TV Guide, whilst I adamantly disagreed with their choices, I admit that this was EXTREMELY DIFFICULT and having to sacrifice some of my faves so that I could include others that were more important to the story HURT, but that’s how it is.

Full list under the cut. Let me know what you think of my choices and my reasons!

1. Pilot

You cannot start a series catch up anywhere else, and we have to include the pilot episode. Introducing us to Sam and Dean, and setting up the story including the back story with the family tragedy. You just can’t beat a good old fashioned female fridging for man pain. *jokes*

2. 1x06 Skin

I feel like Skin is an important episode to watch as it is our first real look at Dean’s psyche as a character, where we start to realise just how much he is hiding behind his tough macho man exterior. The speech by Shifter!Dean to a horrified and confused Sam is heartbreaking and very revealing.

3. 1x12 Faith

This is still hands down one of Supernaturals best episodes. It was also the first time Kripke started considering a bigger mytharc involving faith and Christianity. We can all thank this episode for planting the seeds that would later give us the hugely popular character Castiel, and the hugely successful mytharc plots of Seasons 4 and 5. Also, one of the best music moments from the show with the “Don’t Fear The Reaper” chase scene.

4. 1x14 Nightmare

This episode introduces us to the Special Children story line which was of paramount importance to the first two seasons. It gives us the first glimpses of Sam’s powers to come, and is also the first time we get some hints of John Winchesters abuse of Dean.

5. 1x18 Something Wicked

I chose this episode because it is the first time we get to see more of Sam and Dean’s childhood, and how horrific it was - especially for Dean. A brilliant episode that once again clearly demonstrates how John Winchester is not a man to be messed with. If at this point you aren’t itching to call child services on his ass you probably need to read up on your understanding of child abuse.

6. 1x22 Devils Trap

The Season 1 finale gives us the show down between John Winchester and the Yellow Eyed Demon Azazel, some heartbreaking moments between father and sons, and a cliffhanger that leaves Baby and Dean both broken.

7. 2x01 In My Time of Dying

I love this episode. Dean’s out of body experience at the hospital, Sam’s grief, John’s deal, Tessa’s introduction to the show. C’est magnifique!

8. 2.05 Simon Said

I just think Simon Said is a great episode that further develops the special children plot whilst being both funny and dark at its core - classic SPN.

9. 2.15 Tall Tales

Our introduction to Gabriel - well, to the trickster as he is known here. This episode is gloriously funny and a must watch!

10. 2.21 All Hell Breaks Loose: Parts One and two

Okay I’m cheating a bit and putting these two episodes together, but in my opinion they count as their own feature length episode as you can’t watch one without the other. The climax of the special children arc, the deeply emotional Sam death scene and Dean’s bedside vigil, and Dean selling his soul. This two part season finale packed a lot of punches and is a definite must watch.

11. 3.03 Bad Day at Black Rock

How can anyone forget Sam’s run of bad luck in this hilarious episode. He LOST HIS SHOE!

12. 3.10 Dream a Little Dream of Me

This is another must watch episode for the deep dive into Dean’s psyche. We also get more of a backstory to Bobby Singer, but the real brilliance happens when Dean spends part of the episode talking to his own dark mirror, revealing all sorts of subconscious fears and insecurities on his part.

13. 3.11 Mystery Spot

I couldn’t not put Mystery Spot on the list. This infamous episode of Supernatural will have you singing “Heat of the Moment” over and over again whilst sympathising with poor Sam every time Tuesday comes around. Don’t let Dean eat the funny tasting tacos!

14. 3.16 No Rest for the Wicked

In lots of ways, Season 3 was a weak season. It was drastically shortened due to the writers strike at the time, and Kripke & Co didn’t get to tell the story they initially planned for, instead they had to come up with an alternative which gave us this dark finale in which Dean is condemned to hell. That can’t have been a fun hiatus for fans watching live... Still, it was a memorable finale and that is why it is on my list.

15. 4.01 Lazarus Rising

This episode. Here begins Supernaturals “golden age”. Enter Castiel, Angel of the Lord and future fan favourite right up until 2k19. How many people out in the world saw that now famous entrance and immediately fell in love?

*holds up hand*

If you do nothing else, and you’ve never seen a single episode of Supernatural before, just watch this one, and I guarantee, I GUARANTEE, you will want to keep watching.

16. 4.07 It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester

The problem I have with season 4 is that I want to put basically every episode on the list. To this day it remains my favourite season of the show (and not just for the extreme DeanCas sexual tension). I kept this episode on the list simply because I love the Halloween theme, I love the frankly horrifying Samhain, and I LOVE the journey that Castiel goes through in this episode alone. Bonus points for Sam Winchester fangirling over Castiel proving he is no different from the rest of us. :P

17. 4.16 On the Head of a Pin

I say season 4 is my favourite season, and On the Head of a Pin is one of my all time favourite episodes. This is Supernatural at it’s finest and it’s not surprising as it was written by the great Ben Edlund. It is a perfect blend of horror and angst as we watch every character painfully spiral downwards. Sam hungrily drinks Ruby’s blood much to the audiences horror, Castiel faces his internal and external conflicts as all starts to unravel in the heavenly plans, and Dean plays a terrifying game of wits in an outstanding performance with the demon Alistair, his hellish torturer. It was a performance that Jensen Ackles should have won an Emmy for in my honest opinion. This episode has forever ruined the song “Cheek to Cheek” for me, but it was so worth it.

18. 4.17 It's a Terrible Life

It’s one of the classics. This AU world in which the angels flex their power over the Winchesters is another well loved fan favourite and quite frankly deserves to be here purely for the hilarious scene that many office workers all over the world would wish they could reenact as Sam quits his job in the most Sam Winchester way possible.

19. 4.20 The Rapture

I had to keep this episode here because it is so important for future story lines. As Castiel gets closer to Dean, heaven takes action and we meet Jimmy Novak, Cas’s tormented vessel, and in Castiel’s own future words “his greatest regret”. It’s a deeply emotional episode that proves even angels have their dark sides.

20. 4.22 Lucifer Rising

The Season 4 finale is still one of the most epic in my opinion. Sam and Dean’s dramatic fight in the episode before has left them both vulnerable to the angels and demons that are manipulating them for their own purposes. Ruby’s villain reveal speech is still one of the best, and as she shows her true colours to a horrified Sam, Dean makes an angel fall for him. In every way.

21. 5.03 Free to Be You and Me

This episode is another classic and many fans of Destiel would put it among their top episodes. As Sam and Dean go their separate ways, Dean grows closer to a now fallen and socially awkward Castiel.

22. 5.04 The End

Another epic from the mastermind that is Ben Edlund. The End has inspired much extremely angst ridden fanfiction over the years (and a very romantic song in a future musical episode) and is notorious for breaking fans hearts the world over. As Dean is unwillingly sent to a future apocalyptic world, he meets his harsh and brutal future self, and a drug addled hedonistic human Castiel. The most memorable and painful moment being his confrontation with a sharply dressed Lucifer wearing his brothers face. Tears flowed freely from fans the night this episode aired.

23. 5.08 Changing Channels

Changing Channels is another of those infamous episodes that even non fans of SPN are aware of for it’s sheer lunacy. Sam and Dean once again find themselves up against the trickster aka the archangel Gabriel, who puts them into a TV world where they must “play their roles” in order to survive.

Highlights include Sam’s herpes commercial and Dean’s heart eyes for Doctor Sexy MD.

24. 5.16 Dark Side of the Moon

Dark Side of the Moon is a beautiful episode. The race through heaven and through each Winchester’s memories gives us a far greater understanding of their complex and troubled relationship. The heartbreaking scenes of Dean’s heaven with his mother that Sam could not be part of were especially painful to watch. The climax reveal that God wasn’t listening and Castiel’s subsequent loss of faith only added to that heartbreak. Another must see episode.

25. 5.18 Point of No Return

As is the case with season 4, it was so difficult not to just put every season 5 episode on this list. I do think that both seasons just need to be watched in full to truly grasp how brilliant they were. Point of No Return needs to be on this list though because this episode is the breaking point, the tensions remain high throughout as each character makes desperate choices as they all spiral towards the Endtimes.

26. 5.22 Swan Song

Swan Song is often considered the number 1 top episode of Supernatural. It is always at the top of these “rank the episodes” lists in the media, and that is why it is on my list too. It is brilliant in many ways, but if I am being completely honest it doesn’t even come close to the top of my own personal list ranking SPN episodes. It is certainly emotional, and there are some extremely heartbreaking scenes. Lucifer plays his hand, Dean plays his right back with the power of love, Sam makes his swan dive. It’s heartbreaking, it needs to be watched, but the “endings are hard” meta moan by Kripke always felt slightly too pretentious for my tastes. Don’t make excuses dude, this episode didn’t need them.

27. 6.11 Appointment in Samarra

I’ll be honest, I didn’t like season 6. Whilst some of the individual episodes were good, the mytharc was weak and I think the season struggled to find it’s feet for many episodes at the start. I didn’t like soulless Sam, preferring my Sammy to be the compassionate caring sweetheart he always was before. That being said, Appointment in Samarra is a brilliant standalone episode simply because the character of Death is so very compelling. Dean’s time playing Death was fun whilst also being a deeply emotional exploration of cause and effect in the universe. It’s a must watch.

28. 6.15 The French Mistake

I couldn’t not put this episode on the list. If Season 6 did one thing right, it was this ridiculous episode.

29. 6.20 The Man Who Would Be King

The only other thing Season 6 did right. 6x20 is Ben Edlund’s masterpiece and without it, frankly, the entire mytharc plot of the season would fail miserably. This beautiful episode told from the point of view of a hugely conflicted Castiel not only birthed an entire new generation of Destiel shippers, but canonically confirmed that Castiel’s every decision was motivated by his love for Dean.

*Ouch my shipper heart*

30. 6.22 The Man Who Knew Too Much

The season 6 finale is on this list purely for two characters: Sam and Cas. Sam’s journey to put himself back together inside his own head is as enjoyable as it is emotional. Castiel’s spiralling through into utter villainy is simply soul destroying - especially for those of us who are heavily invested in this character.

31. 7.01 Meet the New Boss

I had to keep the season 7 premiere in this episode as it is the only hint we have of what could have been an AMAZING season story line! Sadly, it was not to be, and Castiel’s run as God lasts this episode only before a very misguided showrunner wrote him off the show (thankfully she saw reason and brought him back dramatically later on, even though the damage and huge drop in ratings was already done.) Worth watching purely for enjoying a power drunk Castiel wipe out a homophobic preacher - he really doesn’t like those homophobes!

32. 7.10 Death's Door

The first time I watched Death’s Door I sobbed for 20 minutes straight. Bobby Singer was the best father Sam and Dean (and Castiel at times) could have ever had, and this heartfelt goodbye to the character as he fought against his reaper and his own memories really packed a punch.

33. 7.17 The Born-Again Identity

The episode that turned it all around. The Born-Again Identity sees a desperate Dean take a chance on a mysterious healer to help a haunted Sam. That healer turns out to be everything Dean has been waiting for. Castiel’s dramatic return to the series answered both Deans, and many fans, prayers.

34. 7.20 The Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo

The introduction of Charlie Bradbury was a must on this list. She immediately became a fan favourite with her upbeat quirkiness. Created to be an avatar for fandom in many ways, she was a breath of fresh air compared to the previous fan avatar the show introduced us too who the less we mention the better. This episode was a lighthearted fun episode in an otherwise downright depressing season.

35. 7.23 Survival of the Fittest

It’s a must watch for the dick jokes alone. In all seriousness, I like this episode, even if it is another weak finale compared to others. The dynamic between Dean, Sam, Meg, and a Castiel who isn’t quite himself, is enjoyable, even if the villain of the season isn’t all that interesting.

36. 8.02 What's Up, Tiger Mommy?

Where the season 8 premiere focused on the present day, and what Sam had been doing in the year between the season 7 finale and now, episode 2 focuses more on purgatory. Dean’s time in purgatory desperately hunting for an AWOL Castiel is definitely worth the watch, especially when their purgatory reunion was so heartbreaking. Bonus points for Sam being worthy of Mjolnir!

37. 8.07 A Little Slice of Kevin

I make no secret of the fact that Castiel is my favourite character in Supernatural, or my love of Dean and Castiel’s relationship. This episode is on my list because Castiel’s return to the real world and an emotional Dean gets my fangirl heart pounding. This episode must use every romantic trope in the book on these two heartbroken dumbasses and it will always be a favourite.

38. 8.08 Hunteri Heroici

This episode is another one of my favourite. The boys finally bring Cas along on an otherwise regular monster of the week hunt, and it is hilarious. Not to mention the hunt is extremely loony and for that reason alone, it is a must watch.

39. 8.11 LARP and the Real Girl

The reintroduction of Charlie Bradbury is a delightful episode where the boys get a taste of LARPING. This is one of those memorable episodes where we get to see the Winchesters both out of their element, and also embracing a bit of fun outside of their normal dark lives. It is a joyful episode to watch.

40. 8.12 As Time Goes By

An integral episode that ends up being a game changer for the show. Thanks to a time travel spell, the boys find out their grandfather was part of a secret organisation. This episode is a must watch for the introduction of Abaddon, the Men of Letters, and the Winchester’s new home base that will see them through to the end of the series - the Bunker.

41. 8.17 Goodbye Stranger

Goodbye Stranger is one of those episodes that will break your heart and leave you screaming. Castiel finally breaks free from heavens grasp - but what broke the connection?

42. 8.23 Sacrifice

I adore the season 8 finale. Crowley’s confession, Sam’s heartbreaking speech which kicked off a long ongoing arc over the next 6 seasons exploring the darker side of the Winchester’s codependency, Metatron’s betrayal, and Castiel’s fall to humanity. The final scene with the angels fall to Earth is beautiful and emotional and I just love everything about it.

43. 9.01 I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here

The season 9 premiere is another deeply emotional episode which explores the aftermath of Sam’s trials to close the gates of hell. Sam is once again on deaths door, but Dean has ideas to save him - and his choices drastically affect the course of both brothers, and Castiel’s, lives for the next several seasons of pain and downward spirals into darkness.

44. 9.06 Heaven Can't Wait

The first ever episode written by our angst goblin king Bobo Berens and what a first episode it was. This episode was like a twisted mix between tragedy and romantic comedy but it worked brilliantly. Fans of Dean and Cas both laughed and wept at it’s perfection. It also was the episode that birthed a thousand fanfics thanks to one well placed “fanfiction gap”.

45. 9.11 First Born

This episode is one of the highlights of Season 9, with a brilliant performance by Timothy Omundson as Cain, this episode sees Dean make the terrible mistake of signing a contract before reading the terms and conditions. Bonus side plot of Sam and Cas getting some Bunker bonding time.

46. 9.18 Meta Fiction

This Castiel focused episode from the genius mind of Robbie Thompson is another must watch. The villainous Metatron manipulates Cas into playing a role in his own scripted story. Bonus guest appearance from fan favourite Gabriel adds to the appeal of this episode. (Following the season 14 finale I can’t help but wonder if this episode had some influence on the current writing team - could we even call it foreshadowing?)

47. 9.23 Do You Believe in Miracles?

The season 9 finale was another very strong episode which must be watched if only for the huge cliffhanger ending. Dean spirals into his own darkness under the effects of the Mark of Cain, and pays for it with his life. Thankfully Crowley is there to make things “better” and take the wayward Winchester under his demonic wing.

48. 10.03 Soul Survivor

Like many others, I feel that we were robbed of a longer Demon!Dean arc. I also feel like the show could have gone far darker with the character given everything we know about poor Dean’s psyche. Whilst episodes 1 and 2 took a lighter touch the demon, Soul Survivor was as close as we got to a truly evil representation of Dean and this episode shook me with the truly brilliant yet terrifying performance Jensen gives us.

49. 10.05 Fan Fiction

Fan Fiction is one of those episodes that you will either love or hate. Created as a love letter to the shows fandom, Robbie Thompson poured his heart into this episode and I do think it is a necessary watch even if just for the beautiful rendition of Carry on Wayward Son at the end. Some may find it cringeworthy in parts - many in fandom don’t exactly like the show drawing attention to their “dirty laundry” and I don’t think anyone will forget a fangirl telling Dean Winchester directly that “you can’t spell subtext without S-E-X” nor the break-the-forth-wall look Dean gives the audience upon hearing that. Nevertheless, we can officially say that both Destiel and Sastiel have been mentioned directly by the Winchester brothers - funnily enough Sam seems totally cool with the concept of hooking up with Cas; Dean though, well, as the saying goes “the lady doth protest too much”.

50. 10.14 The Executioner's Song

Like with First Born, this episode is a must watch for Timothy Odmunson’s performance as Cain, and how brilliantly he and Jensen work together. A haunting and tense episode with a heartbreaking conclusion. It’s dark and deep and pretty damn epic.

Bonus Episode Shout Out - 10.16 Paint it Black

I am not actually including this episode in the list, as it is a generic MOTW for the most part. But I do want to give it an honorary mention for one scene in particular. If you are new to the show, and are planning on using this list to catch up, then for this episode, go to YouTube and search “Supernatural 10x16 Dean’s confession”. TRUST ME. If like me, you love analysing Dean’s character to death, his church confession in this episode is like being given the key to figuring out the meaning of life.

51. 10.22 The Prisoner

I have chosen this episode over the Season 10 finale because this episode depicts Dean’s spiral into total darkness, whereas the season 10 finale always felt like a particularly weak episode to me. Following Charlie’s horrific (and highly controversial) death, Dean lets the Mark of Cain consume him and goes on a killing spree. The ending of this episode ripped my heart to shreds as Castiel promises that he will stay with Dean forever, only for Dean to beat him to near death and only stop at the last minute thanks to that final shred of humanity left in him. If the shot of a bloodied and heartbroken Castiel staring at the angel blade that narrowly missed his head doesn’t make you cry, then I don’t even know why you watch this show.

52. 11.04 Baby

Another fan favourite told from the point of view from the Impala which at this point is definitely its own character and so much more than just a car. Baby is an extremely well put together episode which confirms that there is more than a little bit of magic in that sleek 1967 muscle car.

53. 11.11 Into the Mystic

Into the Mystic introduces us to Eileen Leahy, a character who we all immediately fell in love with, and not just because she is literally PERFECT for Sam Winchester (yes I ship it), but also because she is a badass female hunter and this show is most definitely lacking badass female hunters. It also keeps us on the edge of our seats as Lucifer disguised as Castiel infiltrates the bunker and manages to trick Dean. Epic stuff.

54. 11.17 Red Meat

A well known controversial episode, Red Meat penned by Angst Goblin Bobo Berens delves into the darker, more toxic parts of the Winchester brothers relationship, and highlights just how horrific their codependency has become. Love it or hate it, you can’t deny that it highlights that these boys have some serious issues, and this episode marks a turning point from which both brothers, but especially Dean, start to move upwards, towards a more healthy bond.

55. 11.18 Hell's Angel

The fight to save Castiel from Lucifer’s clutches would be so much easier if the depressed angel actually knew how much he was loved by his Winchester family. Unfortunately for him, Dean is a dumbass who never uses his words. Hell’s Angel is heartbreaking but a must watch if you have any doubt in how much Dean Winchester cares for his angelic guardian. Lucifer’s mockery of his desperation is a particularly nasty knife twist, but then again us fans lap this stuff up.

56. 11.20 Don't Call Me Shurley

The dramatic return of Chuck AKA God. Another must watch episode which explains in some way what the hell God has been doing all this time, whilst Sam and Dean fight to save a small town from a deathly supernatural fog. The tear-jerking song “Fare Thee Well” sung by Rob Benedict at the end not only foreshadows God’s “death” at the end of the season, but also the departure of fan favourite writer Robbie Thompson from the writing team. Emotional indeed.

57. 11.23 Alpha and Omega

The season 11 finale marks the first time in the shows history that a finale doesn’t have a single death. The uplifting ending in which the boys manage to save the world and reunite God and his sister is a one off for Supernatural, especially when it ends with another shock character resurrection - symbolising a new direction for the show and a new showrunner. This was an epic finale that I thoroughly enjoyed.

58. 12.01 Keep Calm and Carry On

The Season 12 premiere saw the return of Mary Winchester, an awkward introduction with a shocked and overjoyed Castiel, and a dramatic race to save Sam from the British Men of Letters. It sets up a far more human mytharc plot than the previous seasons world ending battles between Gods, but with Mary’s introduction, and Andrew Dabb at the wheel, the story is about to get a whole bunch more personal.

59. 12.10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets

One of my all time favourite episodes, Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets gives us a very small peek at Castiel’s pre-Winchester past, and his beautiful female former vessel (no matter what form Castiel resides in, he is always beautiful - a fact referenced in show almost as often as out of it!). It also confirms that no matter how much Cas and Dean may bicker with each other, no one else insults Dean Winchesters angel and gets away with it! Bonus points for long suffering third wheel Sam Winchesters epic bitch faces and eye rolls throughout.

60. 12.11 Regarding Dean

This episode is one of those rare beauties which gets the balance between humour and heartbreak just right. As Dean rapidly loses his memories under a witches spell, Sam and Rowena fight to save him. Regarding Dean explores deep themes including Dean’s loss of childhood innocence at a young age, and how a life shrouded in darkness has effected him. Pure heartbreak. Bonus points for THAT scene on the bucking bronco.

61. 12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You)

Another all time favourite, directed by our very own Richard Speight Jr in a highly stylised homage to Reservoir Dogs and other Tarantino movies. Castiel takes the role of Mr Orange in this gruesome tale, much to the distress of Mr White AKA Dean. One absolutely devastating love confession later and there isn’t a dry eye in the house. DO NOT SKIP THIS EPISODE.

62. 12.19 The Future

The episode that shook the fandom to it’s core thanks to one tiny moment. A desperate Castiel makes some bad decisions, but not before first using Dean’s love for him against him. The knowledge that Dean at one point made a tailored mixtape of his favourite Led Zeppelin songs and gave it to Castiel as a gift BROKE ME. To this day I am still not over this information. To this day I cannot quite get Dean’s soft voice saying “it’s a gift, you keep those.” out of my head. Just remembering the scene as I write this makes my heart flutter and I STILL can’t believe that the writers took the show in this direction. It’s beautiful.

63. 12.22 Who We Are

This heartbreaking episode reveals the importance of Mary’s return to the show, as Dean goes into his mothers own head to try to save her from brainwashing. A truly epic performance from Jensen Ackles (once again) in which Dean finally admits his own burdens, explains how he was robbed of his childhood, and how he was forced into the role of parent to his younger brother when he was 4 years old. Ah that character development is truly delicious.

64. 12.23 All Along the Watchtower

The season 12 finale packs a lot of punches. The imminent birth of Lucifer’s nephilim son causes a rift in the universe, opening a doorway to another world. As the tension builds to a dramatic conclusion, Lucifer plays his hand, unwittingly trapping himself in the AU world with one beloved character, as another sacrifices himself and a third tragic death leaves Dean shattered and broken on the ground.

65. 13.01 Lost and Found

The season 13 premier was everything I have ever wanted from a Supernatural episode - namely PAAAAAIN. The last 10 minutes of this episode in particular had me ugly crying into @margarittet and @tinkdw‘s laps. In fact, every time I rewatch this episode I cry again. As we are introduced to Jack, we say goodbye to Castiel, and my god, I will never get over watching Dean Winchester wrap the body of his angel in preparation for the pyre and try so hard to keep it together. Same Dean. Same.

66. 13.05 Advanced Thanatology

Where Lost and Found broke my heart, Advanced Thanatology stamped on the shattered pieces until the final seconds in which it magically pulled me back together again. This episode was the climactic end to a 5 episode mini grief arc for Dean who just couldn’t get over Castiel’s death. In this episode, we realise just how badly that death has affected Dean, as he foolishly risks his life in his desperation for any kind of win he can get. Episode highlights include a brilliant performance from Billie who has assumed the role of Death as she knocks some sense into Dean, and the final dramatic return of Castiel, proving that “it’s never too late to start all over again”.

67. 13.06 Tombstone

Following 5 episodes of extreme angst and pain, the audience is finally given some relief in this joyful episode which sees the reunited Winchesters take their new son on a trip to cowboy country. Honestly it’s worth watching purely for Castiel’s attempt at playing cowboy to make Dean happy, and Sam Winchesters knowing looks as he pointedly calls out Dean’s dramatic 180 turn from uber depressive to ecstatic happiness following his angels return to the world of the living. Bonus points for this episode getting the hashtag #brokebacksupernatural trending on Twitter.

68. 13.10 Wayward Sisters

The episode that should have kicked off a whole new spin off were it not for the idiotic decisions of a group of suited white guys with no concept of what decent TV is nowadays. Yes I’m still bitter, Yes Mark Pedowitz can go to hell. Wayward Sisters was a brilliant episode that gave us a whole new generation of badass hunting women, and a story that I was 100% invested in seeing more of. It’s a damn tragedy this never got picked up for its own series.

69. 13.16 Scoobynatural

I can’t write a list of top episodes without adding Scoobynatural. The three Winchester boys find themselves zapped into TV land and meet the Scooby Gang. This episode was just hilarious and brilliant. Bonus points for Castiel’s bond with Shaggy and Scooby, and only a minor deduction for Dean’s over the top flirting with Daphne.

70. 13.21 Beat the Devil

In true Supernatural fashion, as the end of the season gets closer, the tension builds to extreme levels. In the apocalypse world the Winchesters try to find and save Jack and Mary, but Lucifer is on their tails. An unexpected attack leads to a highly traumatic and shocking scene in which Sam is killed and a distraught Dean is only pulled away from further danger by a terrified Castiel. The final scene of this episode in which Lucifer resurrects Sam in a truly horrific display of power over his former victim and vessel is haunting and brilliantly acted by Jared Padalecki. The fear he radiates around Lucifer being the only thing that allows me to continue to take the devil seriously at this point in the show.

71. 14.08 Byzantium

I know what you are going to say, I have skipped a BIG chunk of episodes in my list. I have to be honest here and admit that the season 13 finale was possibly one of the worst episodes in Supernatural history and I can’t in good conscience add it to this list. I also think that the writers struggled to pull themselves back up to the high standard of early season 13 after that dreadful finale, so the first half of Season 14 always felt a bit dull for me, however Byzantium does make up for it, in it’s emotional story of how Sam, Dean, and Castiel all deal with the death of their son. The highlights of this episode have to be the scenes in heaven, where Jack reunites with his mother Kelly, and Castiel finds them both in her own piece of paradise in another tear-jerking scene. Castiel’s deal with the creature from the Empty leaving Cas fans everywhere horrified and distraught, but also rather excited at what exactly may trigger the deadly deal. Hopefully this plot point will be picked up next season, as it is definitely highly anticipated.

72. 14.10 Nihilism

Another dream episode for any Dean fans who like to analyse his beautifully deep and layered psyche. Sam and Cas must dive into Dean’s mind in order to free him from the archangel Michael. What they find is worth several essay’s of analysis on this fascinating and wonderful character. Dean’s bar; surrounded by symbols and hints of his life and a very apt song put on repeat - Will Dean ever get his rainbow ending? Only one more season to go until we find out.

73. 14.14 Ouroboros

Following all the drama and separation of the Winchester family, they finally all reunite in this episode to hunt a gorgon. I always prefer the episodes where Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack all work together, and this episode explores the group dynamic perfectly. The gorgon is a charismatic villain who taunts our heroes and has them all fighting to keep up with him. Put it simply this is just a fun episode and exactly what we want from our MOTW episodes in the new Supernatural era.

74. 14.15 Peace of Mind

Just like the previous episode, Peace of Mind is simply one of the more fun and enjoyable episodes of the season. So much so in fact that I have probably re-watched it a dozen times because I loved it so much. In a rare team up between Sam and Cas, they find themselves stuck in a Pleasantville type place. Hilarity ensues, and poor Sam gets himself stuck in a 1950s style marriage and a sweater vest. Castiel reads some raunchy erotica and enjoys it. You will find yourselves laughing at “H-E-double hockey sticks” for hours afterwards. A must watch lighthearted episode in an otherwise dark season.

75. 14.20 Moriah

The season 14 finale was certainly one of the more epic finales we have had, and a meta masterpiece penned by showrunner Andrew Dabb. As Dean’s anger and grief following Mary’s death only deepens, and the rift between him and Castiel continues, it is Sam who discovers that all this time, for their entire lives, they have all been nothing more than characters in a world created by a cruel and manipulative writer God. Chuck’s return and reveal as the villain of the entire show came as a shock to many fans who saw him as a beloved fan favourite, but to many others, myself included, this reveal harmonises this entire story and the Winchesters long and traumatic journey and blows my mind at just how perfect it all is. God Was Never On Your Side, and this has always been a show to stress the importance of free will in a Godless world.

*chef’s kiss*

Bring on Season 15.

#supernatural #top 75 episodes #spn meta #destiel #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #supernatural episode summaries #my opinions #seriously these are just my opinions #and I had so much fun writing this #and i am kinda proud of it #my stuff

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dustydreamsanddirtyscars · 7 years

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04x01 “Lazarus Rising” // 09x05 “Dog Dean Afternoon” 09x08 “Rock and A Hard Place” 09x11 “First Born” // 10x23 “Brother’s Keeper” 11x03 “The Bad Seed” // 12x23 “All Along the Watchtower”

On the Topic of Healing on Supernatural

Loosely belongs to the Series “Of Blood, Bone and Darkness”: A Carver Era Rewatch Hiatus Meta-Series

***prefacing this by saying this meta will probably feature a few very critical/negative thoughts on Dabb and his showrunning***

While working on the next couple of posts for my rewatch meta series linked to above, I kind of realized once more why S9 will probably always be the season closest to my heart and why Carver to me personally will always remain an absolute favourite in terms of showrunning. And it is based in how he structured the narrative stretching from S8 to S10 and the whole MoC arc and how this storyline factored in and built on everything Dean as a person has been through at that point in the show - his struggles, his traumas, his whole life, light and dark spots alike. But not just that I truly adored and still adore how the aspect of “healing” was tackled in those seasons, because it also transfers, transpires and makes a point about to how the series in general deals - or rather not not deals - with the topic of healing, which is a huge and important aspect however and something all characters - even though I will focus on Dean here mostly as the MoC arc was centered around him, his past and his struggles - need deeply, but which to this day and particular for Dean after the mess that was S12 and the showrunning of Dabb seems further off and the least of anyone’s concerns on the writing team than every before. So, that’s why I like to look back to a time when imo SPN was at its peak writing wise.

At the time when S9 aired I have talked about the narrative and the MoC arc often times in terms of “band aid”-metaphors, which to me still seems a very fitting visual, which is why I am bringing it up here again as it also relates nicely to the aspect of healing - or well, not healing. Throughout S9 this topic is tackled and illustrated by two polar oppositional journeys, which are connected to the Winchester brothers (and are also kind of explored in a different but comparable sense through Cas and Crowley growing more human over the course of S9 while Dean veers off into demonhood). One is illustrated by Gadreel possessing Sam in order to heal him “from the inside out” (which serves as a band aid for a deeper underlying problem - the inability of the brothers to let the other one go/co-dependency) and the other is centered around Dean taking on the mark of Cain which poisons him and kind of kills him “from the inside out” (Dean taking on the mark can be also read as a band aid for the underlying issue of his lack of self-worth and as a form of “sentence” for the fallout his decision to save Sam via possession has caused). The aspect of “superficial healing”, which in the end ain’t healing at all, is contrasted to the brothers and is further showcasing “internal healing” opposed to “internal death”. At the time S9 aired I have talked about these things a lot with the summary of “the true big bad is internal”, because in fact S9 did not showcase a true big bad as an external force, but focused on how someone can fall apart if his traumas and issues and fears remain untreated, unheard and uncared for - essentially what happens when much needed time for healing simply is not allowed to happen. This is also imo the reason why S9 was so heavy and so tough in terms of emotions, because it was a very psychological and in that regard very emotion driven arc.

And I love how very intelligent S9 showcased and explored the topic of healing in the MotW episodes as well. I singled out two moments that stood out in particular as they also focus on an internal aspect, consumation/incorporation really (though I won’t go into that in depth as it opens a whole new cans of worms when you bring Freud into it - though his structural model of personality was very directy woven into the MoC arc as I have written about multiple times at the time). In 9x05 “Dog Dean Afternoon” we meet Chef Leo, who is basically dying from cancer but he cheats death by consuming different animal’s organs. When he wounds Sam and Gadreel saves him, Chef Leo want Sam as his next main course for his “healing powers”. Similarly but with a slightly different end game in 9x08 “Rock and A Hard Place” we meet goddess Vesta consuming people’s livers to regain some of her powers. One of her most interesting lines of her surely is the one when she tells Sam he’s basically only barely stitched together and shouldn’t by all means be alive judging from his internal condition. And this is where the Band aid metaphor imo works pretty well again. Because while Gadreel did truly try and heal Sam it was kind of a band aid - like the MoC as a suicide mission for Dean - that was plastered on a bleeding wound, a wound that would be covered up, but that would never truly heal underneath, but fester. Meaning, while physically the brothers throughout the series got mended time and again, mentally is a whole other beast and that beast, showed its claws best in S9, because in that season it was all about how the way one feels and sees himself determines your choices and those can lead you down dark roads and right into self destruction.

Now when keeping all this in mind I find it important and interesting to take a look at how SPN treats healing in general, because imo one thing gets pretty clear when truly thinking it about it: the route the show goes can be seen in direct opposition to what the characters would need for true healing. What do I mean with that? Let me explain. Not always f do wounds stand for a bigger underlying issue with SPN, often times they appear in fights, but still often enough and especially when tied to the big emotional and myth arcs they do stand for and serves as symbols for a larger underlying problem. And especially in those cases I find it very telling how the show tends to deal with these instances, because most of the time they don’t and go the easy route by having Cas for example fix the Winchesters as captured above in 12x23 “All Along the Watchtower” for example. We have seen those moments countless times since S4, but what’s important to remember is that this is physical healing, internal healing is something drastically different. Just because it’s out of sight doesn’t mean it’s out of mind. The best example for that is when Dean looks into the mirror in 4x01 “Lazarus Rising” and sees himself without a scratch but vividly remembers being torn apart by hellhounds. Similarly can be said for Sam and his Hell and cage experiences. Though they both are back top side, it doesn’t mean they are “freed” and that is btw also something S9 utlized beautifully visually with all of the prison imagery we see in that season.

In this regard I find it important to point out one moment in which Dean actively refuses to be healed by Cas in 11x03 “The Bad Seed” (talked about this aspect here in that gifset as well at the time). As talked about in the meta linked to there is much more to this action and scene, but what in relation to this meta imo is important to point out is that in this case Dean actively wants the reminder of what happened, wants to hurt, because he thinks he deserved it. Here being healed would have felt like scorn, because he couldn’t possibly forget what he himself did - so it’s basically in a nutshell an incident in which physical healing and emotional healing as narrative concepts overlap and are head on addressed on SPN and that doesn’t happen a whole lot on the show.

So basically what we witness throughout S9 is Dean internally withering away while Gadreel tries to internally heal Sam. But it’s only a stepping stone of course. Being physically alright doesn’t mean you are emotionally stable. Just because you are healed physically, doesn’t mean you’re healed mentally. And that is something I feel sadly has been very far off, but which is increasingly important for the characters and especially Dean after the MoC arc. This is where the title of this meta “Our scars remind us that the past is real” comes into play, because what the important takeaway from this saying to me is that not only do you realize and remember what you’ve been through when you look at your own scars, but they also tell you that “you survived”, that you’re still standing, that you overcame them, that you grew stronger the more those scars fade away.

And this is where I have to mention once again how I will alway remain more than a bit disappointed how the MoC arc was wrapped up and even more so how Dabb did away with it and the progression and process towards healing was comletely discarded by him. Now of course it is useless to be upset about an arc not playing out the way you wanted, believe me I know, but in terms of set up and how this whole arc was structured to me it never made sense for it to be possible to erase the mark from Dean’s arm, because IT WAS JUST SO MUCH FREAKING MORE THAN A MARK. It served as a symbol abd visual stand in for so much more. It brought up the resentment Dean felt for never having hid own life, how he was treated by his father, etc. etc. and while of course the mark was changing Dean and turned him into something he didn’t wanrt to be, at the same time it did shake things loose that needed to be tackled for a long time in order for Dean to heal. So to me it just doesn’t make sense the way the show “resolved” this, because the mark was just an outward physical sign for an underlying issue Dean has struggled with for years. By simply erasing the mark, to me they took away the possibility of Dean healing and that to me would always have come to be connected with Dean getting more in tune with himself and that the more he healed the mark would have faded away. After all the mark and Amara as a force behind it was directly connected to how Dean was denied an own life, just like Amara wasn’t allowed to exist in her brother’s world.

Now, I did still like it a whole lot when Amara was freed and it got clear that the MoC arc wasn’t truly finished. The struggle Dean had fought on the inside was externalized through Amara and he could head on tackle it. Needless to say of course that didn’t all end in the way Carver had planned as he also wasn’t allowed to kill God. So the aspect and what to me the Amara arc all lead up to: Dean re-integrating his externalized “dark parts” in order to become whole and heal didn’t really pan out. Dean didn’t heal and S12 made a great effort in undoing any kind of step Dean went towards healing from S8 onwards - even though healing was what Amara had wanted for Dean. Instead it’s further off than ever before after clusterfuck that Dabb wrote and called a season, because what he did with all of this set up was throw it out the window and worse made it an entire goddamn scene to say that Dean’s own traumas aren’t even worth mentioning (and yes I know and I have made countless posts on this before trying to explain it when people misunderstand by hate with Dabb’s writing: Dean always puts himself last. That is absolutely in character. The show has done that before, but it always made sure to make it clear that only Dean thinks of himself as worthless but everybody else doesn’t. Now with Mary they did the opposite and the entire season finale showed that indeed Dean’s mother doesn’t give a flying fuck about Dean, but only when he talks about Sam - so yeah, the show or rather D(r)ab(b) made plenty clear how important Dean’s healing is for him...). Sorry about all the hate in the end, but wow, it just makes me so sad and angry to look back and see the amazing structring and narrative focus that was part of Carver era and how it was all rendered undone and useless under Dabb. Anyway, in order to end this post with rather some Dean feels than utter frustration, I’m just gonna leave these lyrics here, because yeah, they do describe Dean and the MoC arc pretty well

“I tear my heart open, I sew myself shut My weakness is that I care too much My scars remind me that the past is real I tear my heart open just to feel”

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nerdylittleshit · 7 years

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So what are you gonna do? You're just gonna live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it?

Themes of family & home aka “The Apple Pie Life” in Supernatural season openers Or The Great Meta Scavenger Hunt, Round 2

Here it is finally. As always I blame Lizzy that this got so long (and my inabelity to write proper short crack meta)

There we go again. The task is this: “Rank either all the season openers OR season finales 1 to 12 (or 1 to 11). Pick a certain metric to rank them by, e.g. by character (Sam, Dean, Baby, Cas, Bobby, Mary or John, idk, Sheriff Jody Mills) or by typical meta themes, motifs, symbols etc, or by relationship (for example crowlatron, or destiel), or an analytical lens such as feminist or queer reading, etc. “ (x)

And as much as I was tempted to write the Crowlatron one, I decided for another theme. A theme, some might say, I’m a wee bit obssesed with (shhh, I just want them to be happy). Where season finales are usually about deconstructions, season openers tend to be more happier episodes, with the Winchesters finally able to enjoy some domestic bliss (no, not really, this is still Supernatural).

So let’s have a closer look:

1x01 Pilot

This episode is actually full with themes of home, families and the domestic/normal life vs the hunter life. After all this is where the show has its origins, and to establish the hunter life, we need to contrast it to the apple pie life.

We start right with the opening scene, where we see the picture perfect American family, the Winchesters, as we later learn. Fans of the genre of course already know that peacefull scenes like these aren’t made to last, and soon enough an evil force destroys the perfect image.

As others noted before, the scene where John passes baby Sam to Dean also marks the moment Dean became metaphorically Sam’s parent.

Speaking of Sam: the very next scene shows us Sam as an young adult, a student at Stanford and his loving and caring girlfriend Jessica. The most important event in his life is his job interview on monday. Nothing out of the ordinary.

For a moment we are meant to believe that the little baby from the teaser lived a normal life after all, despite the horror his family went through. Until we meet Dean, and learn that for Sam the ordinary is the strange.

SAM: The weapon training, and melting the silver into bullets? Man, Dean, we were raised like warriors.

DEAN: So what are you gonna do? You're just gonna live some normal, apple pie life? Is that it?

SAM: No. Not normal. Safe.

DEAN: And that's why you ran away.

SAM: I was just going to college. It was Dad who said if I was gonna go I should stay gone. And that's what I'm doing.

The brothers haven’t even been on their first hunt together when the show establish something very important: that there are two worlds, the world of the normal and the world of the hunters, and that those two don’t mix well. You can just live one of these lives; you are either in or you are out. And if you are a Winchesters you hardly ever have a choice in it.

It is also this episode that marks Mary, their mother, as a symbol for the normal life they have lost. Sam asks Dean if he thinks their mother would have wanted this life for their sons. Up until 4x03 and later 5x13 Mary is portrayed as the innocent victim, and as the life that could have been/the normal life, most heartbreakingly of course in 2x20. And even after the reveal that Mary was a hunter herself and had made a deal with Azazel, one thing remained true: that Mary never wanted her sons to grow up as hunters. This makes her the first Winchester who tried to escape the hunting life.

Part of the domestic life (at least for the Winchesters) seems to be also a long term romantic relationship. The two times Sam has left behind the hunter life (in season 1 and 8) he had been in a relationship (first Jessica, later Amelia), and so was Dean in season 6 (with Lisa). The difference of course, as Sam tells Dean in this episode, is that Jess never knew Sam was a hunter, and neither did Amelia later. In contrast to Lisa, who was fully aware of Dean’s past, when she started a relationship with him. And where Sam left the hunter life in its entirety behind him, Dean was never fully able to do so (but we get more in detail to this in 6x01 and 8x01).

Furthermore the motw also fits thematically to both the aspects of home and family. The woman in white, Constance, tells her victims that she can never go home, yet she urges them to drive her to her old home, before she kills them. Her family seemed happy on the surface, the way the Winchesters did in the opener. But both families had dark secrets to hide. Constance’s husband cheated on her, which resulted in Constance killing first her children and later herself, the children’s death reported as an accident.

Mary never told her husband the truth about her past as a hunter and the deal she made (though the show is a bit unclear whether or not she remembered said deal). The Winchester’s perfect marriage only became perfect after Mary’s death, as Dean later reveals in 5x16.

The three homes we see in the episode (the Winchester’s home in Lawrence, Sam & Jess’s home, Constance’s home) became places of pain, despair and death. The women who stay at home (a very traditional feminine role) or in Constance’s case return home, end up dead (the ghost of Constance is “killed” again by her dead children). All three women are women in white, dressed in white nightgowns. Two of them were wifes and mothers (Mary & Constance), one of them a girlfriend (Jess). All three relationships were based on lies (Mary never told John she was a hunter, and neither did Sam tell Jess; Constance’s husband cheated on her).

1x01 separetes the world of the hunters from the world of the normal, and yet shows us that evil takes place where we feel the most safe: in our homes and in our families. Relationships and families that appear perfect on the surface are destroyed by the secrets that lie underneath. You can’t outrun your past. And just as Constance neither Sam or Dean can go home again.

2x01 In My Time of Dying

Even though this episode is full of fun Winchesters family traditions, such as cheating death & making deals, it hardly contains themes of home & family. What it gives is a little more inside on how John’s absence forced Dean to become Sam’s parent, but furthermore, to take care of his father as well, even though the roles should have reversed.

JOHN: You know, when you were a kid, I'd come home from a hunt, and after what I'd seen, I'd be, I'd be wrecked. And you, you'd come up to me and you, you'd put your hand on my shoulder and you'd look me in the eye and you'd... You'd say "It's okay, Dad”. Dean, I'm sorry.

DEAN: What?

JOHN: You shouldn't have had to say that to me, I should have been saying that to you. You know, I put, I put too much on your shoulders, I made you grow up too fast. You took care of Sammy, you took care of me. You did that, and you didn't complain, not once. I just want you to know that I am so proud of you.

DEAN: This really you talking?

JOHN: Yeah. Yeah, it's really me.

Dean’s childhood stopped the moment his mother died. Instead of his father he became the one who took care of his family, and tried to keep everything together. It of course also resulted in the unhealthy codepency between the brothers, and the reason why they are only able to have long term romantic relationships as long as the other brother isn’t around (for a more detailled meta go read @k-vichan exellent love-triangel-metas).

Speaking of homes, we have to mention the Impala. Just as Dean his car is on the brink of death, and as Bobby points out, at a point beyond repair. It is Sam who insits to keep the car, the same way he reminds Dean to keep fighting. Of course everyone’s favourite “The Impala represents Dean’s soul”-reading applies here. But furthermore the car also represents the brothers only home, up until they move into the bunker (where Bobby’s house and later Rufus’ cabin serve as homes as well, they never in fact trully belong to the Winchesters).

3x01 The Magnificent Seven

Ahhh, season three. Dean has only one year left to live, and in this episode he shows us he wants to live his last year to the fulliest. From having a threesome with the Doublemint twins, a bacon cheeseburger for breakfast, to Envy even calling him “ a walking billboard of gluttony and lust. “ Dean is as far away from the apple pie life as he could be. And yet it only takes episode two and Lisa Braeden, who turns from Gumby Girl to the potential mother of his child, to make his attitude crumble, ultimately resulting in the reveal of Dean dreaming of a domestic life with her in 3x10.

This episode also marks the first time a married hunter couple appears, Tamara and Isaac. So far all the hunters we met (John, Bobby, Ellen) had lost their husband/wife, all of them to supernatural caused deaths, or have never been married in the first place. Of course this marriage ends tragic as well, as Isaac later dies (isn’t it interesting that the only hunter couple who surived on Supernatural are Jesse & Cesar, the only non-straight couple?). And it is revealved that they only became hunters after a monster killed their daughter.

POSSESED ISAAC: Like that night those things came to our house... came ... for our daughter!

This marks another home that got destroyed, another seemingly happy family, whose lives ended in tragedy.

Next to that the first victims they found were a family as well, who died in their own home.

4x01 Lazarus Rising

Not much to see here, I’m afraid. This marks the first time Dean calls Bobby a father (figure).

DEAN: You're about the closest thing I have to a father.

This of course is a direct recall to 3x16 and Bobby’s line “Family doesn’t end with blood”, one of the shows biggest themes. It is also worth noticing that it is Bobby who Dean calls, after he is unable to reach Sam, Bobby he goes to, and later Bobby who he takes with him to summon Castiel.

Speaking of, this episode of course is the beginning of Destiel, and if this doesn’t give you romantic/domestic vibes, than what will (after all, nothing says “I love you” as stabbing someone in the heart).

5x01 Sympathy for the Devil

And we stay with Cas. Even though it isn’t until 5x13 that Cas becomes part of the team (team free will, that is), and not until 6x20 that he officially becomes part of the family, we already see a change in Dean’s relationship to Cas in this episode, compared to season 4. Whereas before Dean struggeled to fully trust Cas, Cas is now on top of the list of Dean’s priorities. And he seems genuinely heartbroken after Chuck told him Cas is dead (spoiler alert: he is not). Because it confirms just something Dean has long been afraid of: that people close to him, people he cares about, end up dead. And it’s all because of him.

Also, another time Bobby is called Dean’s father, this time by Meg, who calls Bobby Dean’s “surrogate daddy”. Interesting enough though that the father-son-dynamic takes mostly place between Dean and Bobby, and not Sam and Bobby. Probably because after John’s death Dean was more in a need for a father figure than Sam.

The most interesting character though is Nick. Another time a family has been destroyed. Another home that no longer feels like a home because the family in it has been ripped apart.

LUCIFER:After all, how could God stand idly by while that man broke into your home and butchered your family in their beds?

Nick is a broken man, his life a tragedy. He lost both his wife and his child (and his wife is yet another woman in white). This is the very reason Lucifer chooses him as a vessel. Because he knows Nick would help him in his crusade against God, Micheal and heaven, after learning there are beings powerfull enough they could have prevented what happened to him and his family, and yet they did nothing.

6x01 Exile on Main Street

Just the opening montage alone gives us all the domestic Dean feels. We see him living a very normal life in the suburbs, living together with his beautiful girlfriend and her son, to whom he acts like a dad, having a normal (blue collar) job, barbeques with the neighbors etc. But what we also see are the flashbacks to his old life, blending in with his new life, and even though Dean gave up hunting, he didn’t stop being a hunter, as the devil’s trap under the rug and the holy water and gun under his bed prove. And even though Dean truly belongs in this life, even though he fits in, there is a big hole in the shape of his brother through it all. It is a grief that, even though Lisa is aware of the circumstances of Sam’s death, nobody can fully understand. It is perhaps most similar to that of losing a child. It’s the big sacrifice for the greater good, and the price Dean had to pay for it. And even though I would say Dean does feel at home, the fact remains that going to Lisa in the first place is something he did because he had promised his dying brother to do so.

One part of the apple pie life in Supernatural is being in a long term romantic relationship. It’s not just about having a home, a stable life, a normal job (as opposed to hunting, which is not only a job but a way of living), but to have a significant other. And here we see Dean as the perfect boyfriend/husband/surrogate father, who doesn’t even so much as react when a waitress in a bar flirts with him. It’s the opposite of Dean being “a walking billboard of gluttony and lust”. And it confirms that the Dean we saw in previous seasons - the Dean who flirts at every chance he gets, who has a long history of one night stands, and who admitted in 5x11 that he never had a relationship that lasted longer than two months - was just a persona he putted on. The real Dean though longs for a committed relationship, and it has only been through the circumstances of the hunter life that he thought he would never have a chance of getting one.

The moment though Dean thinks there might be something unusual, he starts to investigate. Not because he misses his life as a hunter that much (it is his brother that he misses), but because he wants to keep his new family safe. And furthermore because he believes that he can’t really outrun his past. The saddest reason though that Dean still sees himself as a hunter, is that he truly believes he doesn’t deserve this new life.

DEAN:I should've known. I should've known that if I stayed with you that something would come, because something always does. But I was stupid and reckless and...You can't outrun your past.

LISA:You're saying goodbye.

DEAN:I'm saying I'm sorry... For everything. Everything.

LISA:You're an idiot. I mean, I know it wasn't greeting-card perfect, but we were in it together.

DEAN:I was a wreck half the time.

LISA:Yeah, well, the guy that basically just saved the world shows up at your door, you expect him to have a couple of issues. And you're always so amazing with Ben. You know what I wanted, more than anything was a guy that Ben could look up to like a dad. So, you're saying it's all bad, Dean? 'Cause it was the best year of my life.

Of course everything changes the moment Sam comes back. He has been the reason Dean went to Lisa in the first place, he is the reason he stopped hunting. And Dean’s commitment to his new life is based on the solid belief that his brother was gone for good, and wouldn’t come back (seriously Dean, what show have you been watching?).

And not only Sam returns, but with him grandfather Samuel, a bunch of Campell hunters and a case. And all of sudden Dean’s new life and his old life are in conflict with each other, and it seems inevitable that he has to make a choice for one or the other. Because that is the lesson that Supernatural teached us since 1x01: you can’t have both lives. You are either in or out of hunting. And while Sam stopped being a hunter completely both times when he was with Jessica and later Amelia, Dean tries for a time to have both (with the difference of course that Lisa was fully aware of Dean’s past). But eventually Dean had to choose as well. And as he was never able to stop being a hunter, and as he trully believes he doesn’t belong into the world of the normal, he naturally returns to the hunting life.

The big twist in Sam’s return of course is that he has been back for year, almost immediately after his death. The choice Dean is forced to make in the first half of season six, is a choice that has been taken away from him for a whole year. As I wrote before Dean’s choice to stay with Lisa wasn’t so much as a choice, as the alternative (the hunting life) had no longer an appeal to him without his brother.

Both Sam and Bobby then argue that their decision not to tell Dean that Sam was alive was for Dean’s good. They decided for Dean that what he truly wanted was this new life with a real home and a family.

SAM: You finally had what you wanted, Dean.

DEAN: I wanted my brother, alive!

SAM: You wanted a family. You have for a long time, maybe the whole time. I know you. You only gave it up because of the way we lived. But you had something, and you were building something. Had I shown up, Dean, you would have just run off. I'm sorry. But it felt like after everything, you deserve some regular life.

The argument of course isn’t wheter Dean prefers this new life over his old life, but that both Sam and Bobby made the choice for him, believing to know better.

BOBBY: Because you got out, Dean! You walked away from the life. And I was so damn grateful, you got no idea.

DEAN: Do you have any clue what walking away meant for me?

BOBBY: Yeah -- a woman and a kid and not getting your guts ripped out at age 30. That's what it meant.

DEAN: That woman and that kid -- I went to them because you asked me to.

BOBBY: Good.

DEAN: Good for who? I showed up on their doorstep half out of my head with grief. God knows why they even let me in. I drank too much. I had nightmares. I looked everywhere. I collected hundreds of books, trying to find anything to bust you out.

SAM: You promised you'd leave it alone.

DEAN: Of course I didn't leave it alone! Sue me! A damn year? You couldn't put me out of my misery?

BOBBY: Look, I get it wasn't easy. But that's life! And it's as close to happiness as I've ever seen a hunter get. It ain't like I wanted to lie to you, son. But you were out, Dean.

In contrast to Dean’s apple pie life we get Samuel and the other Campell hunters. All through the episode they treat Dean like an outsider, after he spent a year living a normal life. When they return to Lisa’s place, they make fun of him and the life he had build with his new family. It is very similar to the Dean we saw in season one, who openly dismissed everything normal, as opposite to Sam, who had longed for this life. This time of course it is Sam who is a full time hunter (which of course is caused mostly by his missing soul, though we don’t know this yet).

The most interesting among this new characters of course is Samuel. Samuel, who even though he is actually blood, never becomes part of of Dean’s family (as far as I recall Dean never calls him grandfather, as opposed to Bobby who he of course has called a father - and speaking of names and titles, Dean calls Lisa’s house his home and Gwen calls Lisa Dean’s wife).

Samuel then tells Dean that he does remind him of his daughter, Mary, who wanted out of the life as well. Of course Dean was more or less forced out of the hunting life, whereas it was Sam who deliberately left the hunting life behind (twice). And as we know now Mary didn’t stopped being a hunter in her new domestic life the way Dean never stopped either.

It is Samuel then who tells Dean to return to the hunting life - after all it is in his blood. They way he tells it is that hunting is Dean’s destiny (quite similar to the way Zachariah said it in 4x17), and well you can’t outrun your destiny, right? Enter Dean Winchester, the poster boy for free will & choice.

This episode of course again has the theme of what I would call “suburbian horror”. This time Sid (Dean’s neighbor and friend) and his wife get killed in their home. The parallel here is clear: they are no longer random victims, but stand in for Lisa and Dean.

Dean’s Djinn poison nightmare then puts him in the same position as John (before he became a hunter and lived a normal life): he sees his wife (Lisa) burning on the ceiling and his son (Ben) drinking demon blood.

The episode then ends with Dean making a choice. But instead of chosing option A (the apple pie life) or option B (the hunting life) he chooses option C (living both lives). This might mark the first time Dean doesn’t choose his brother, but instead chooses the happiness and family he has found apart from his brother (even though he still doesn’t think he deserves his new life, but rather thinks he needs to protect Lisa and Ben). Even though this choice has been taken away from him for a long time, Dean makes a decision neither Sam or Bobby thought was possible. Instead of returning to the hunting life the moment Sam returns, he makes a choice based on the new responsibilities he has for his new family. Dean subverts then the lesson 1x01 tried to teach us: you can live both lives (even though it sadly doesn’t last).

7x01 Meet the New Boss

After all of the domestic feels 6x01 has been given us, we hardly get to see something in 7x01. If we concentrate very hard we can see Dean fixing the Impala (their home), while listening to the news and what Godstiel is doing in his free time. Cas of course by then has becoming a family member, but one that to Dean by now is a lost cause.

Season seven of course is the season of loss: Sam and Dean lose their remaining family members (Cas, Bobby) and both of their homes (the Impala and Bobby’s house). But 7x01 feels more like a continuation of 6x22 as that we get to see much of the season’s themes here.

8x01 We Need to Talk About Kevin

Or: Sam & the apple pie life, part II. Though we don’t get to see much of his actual life with Amelia yet, we do learn that Sam left behind the hunting life completely. This of course will be the main source of conflict between the brothers for the rest of the season. Because whereas Sam wished for Dean to leave him dead and find a new normal life at the end of 5x22, Dean feels betrayed after Sam did exactly this after the events of 7x23. Whereas Sam wanted his brother to find something new, Dean feels abandoned and replaced by a woman.

(On a side note, they first meet in Rufus’s cabin, the place that was closest to a home to them after Bobby’s house burned down.)

SAM:Look, I did what we promised we'd do. I moved on. I lived my life.

DEAN: Yeah, no, I'm getting that.

SAM: Look, it wasn't like I was... just oblivious. I mean, I read the paper every day. I saw the weird stories…the kind of stuff we used to chase.

DEAN:And you said what? "Not my problem"?

SAM:Yes. And you know what? The world went on.

DEAN: People died, Sam.

SAM: People will always die, Dean. Or maybe another hunter took care of it. I don't know, but the point is, for the first time, I realized that it wasn't only up to me to stop it.

DEAN: Hmm. So what was it, hmm? What could possibly make you stop just like that? A girl? Was there a girl?

SAM: The girl had nothing to do with it.

DEAN: There was a girl.

The year they spent apart is represented for Sam through Amelia (the apple pie life) and for Dean through Benny (purgatory) and on a wider scale through Cas. Both eventually leave those last reminders of their time apart behind (in the same episode (8x10), with only Cas remaining), returning to their brotherhood of solitude and co-depency, and the lesson that they can’t have relationships outside their little family (at least not while the other brother is around). This of course isn’t news - Jess died the same episode Dean returned and Lisa later admitted she knew things were over the moment Sam returned (6x06).

The biggest parallel for Sam in this episode is Kevin. A young man who wants to life a normal life (and had already outplanned his life), until he became a part of the world of the supernatural and had to leave his old life behind. He turned to Sam for help, not knowing Sam had left his old life behind (and that’s another aspect of the hunting life: the responsibilities that come with it and the very reason so few hunters ever stop hunting).

He briefly returns to one of the old reminders of his old life, his highschool girlfriend Channing, even though he doesn’t interact with her, probably to protect her. Of course in a sadistic twist of irony Channing is killed by the end of the episode by Crowley. Throughout the season Kevin turns to the only other person left from his old life, his mother, who Crowley later kills as well or rather makes Kevin believe so. Kevin therefore loses everything he hold dear in his old life, and learns a brutal lesson of the hunting life: you can’t have attachments.

Another part of the episode is the reveal of the demon tablets and the prospects of closing the gates of hell (who Sam and Dean opened in the first place, just saying). This marks a major game changer. Even though there would be plenty of monsters left, the world as a whole would become a safer place. And it’s the reason why Dean decides for Kevin that he has to be part of this mission, taking away his choice.

DEAN: And now he's in it... whether he likes it or not.

SAM: So...free will, that's only for you?

DEAN: I can't believe what I'm hearing. Sam, we have an opportunity to wipe the slate clean. We take Kevin to the tablet, he tells us the spell, we send every demon back to hell – forever. Every single bastard that destroyed our lives, killed our mother, killed Jess. And you're not sure?

The irony of course is that it is Dean of all people who wants to take away this choice from Kevin. But it seems that if he had learned one thing in his life, it is that you never really get out, once the supernatural becomes part of your life.

DEAN: All right, listen to me. I'm sorry about your girlfriend, okay? I am. But the sooner you get this, the better. You're in it now, whether you like it or not. That means you do what you got to do. I'm hitting the head.

Both Sam and Kevin struggle with the hunting life, both feel as though they have no choice in the matter. Dean on the other side, marked by his experiences in purgatory, has long given up his dream of a normal life.

9x01 I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here

In 9x01 we have parallel to the Winchester’s story, the story of the angels losing their home, and with that a new meaning of home.

The angels were forced out of their home by the one angel (Metatron) they once had force to leave his home as well (Metatron would call it ironic justice).

We learn that for the angels their home, heaven, means a place of safety, of belonging, but also of order.

HAEL: But Heaven – there was order. There was purpose.

In contrast to that leaving said home (even if it wasn’t on free terms) could mean freedom and making your own choices.

CASTIEL : There's opportunity for you, the others who have fallen, to do finally do what you would like to do – not just what you've been told.

This reading is very different from what the word “home” represented so far on the show. It is perhaps most similiar to a young adult moving out of his family home to a place of their own, an opportunity full of freedom and making your own choices, but also leaving behind the safety and comfort of your old home.

The reason of course we never had this reading before, is that both Sam and Dean never had a real home to leave in the first place. They never had this feeling of safety and belonging, but instead were forced to make their own choices and to act like an adult at a very young age (Dean perhaps more than Sam).

This particular arc of course also starts Castiel’s long quest of finding out who he is (angel or man), who his family is (the angels or the Winchesters) and where his home is (heaven or eath/the bunker).

On the Winchesters side of the story we see Sam visiting two of his homes while beeing in a coma. First the Impala, and then a cabin, that though it isn’t named like this, I think stands for Rufus’s cabin. What we not see is the bunker, which perhaps already tells us Sam doesn’t see the bunker as his home (yet), which will be later discussed in 9x04. Furthermore we see two of Sam’s closest family members (his surrogate father and his brother) represent the sides of him that want to live and that want to die.

Metaphorically we could also argue that Sam’s body function as his home (at least the home of his soul), and that Dean by allowing an angel to use it as his vessel invades said home.

And at last, upon learning that Cas is human, Dean sends him to the bunker, showing us that unlike Sam he sees the bunker as their home (and Cas as his family). Tragically though as long as Cas is human he remains homeless (9x03, 9x06) and even now in season 12 still wonders whether he truly belongs in the bunker/to the Winchesters.

10x01 Black

Home is here perhaps pictured the most by the one that is missing from home: Dean. We see both Cas and Sam mourning his loss, and discussing whether or not Dean is still Dean. Because they both know that the Dean they know wouldn’t have left his home and his family behind. What is interesting though is that they both do it at seperate places; Sam in the bunker, Cas at a motel. Of course we know that Cas left because his condition got worse and he didn’t wanted Sam to let know. But we could also argue that the bunker without Dean is no longer a home to Cas.

Meanwhile Dean is celebrating the summer of love with Crowley. He is back to his “no strings attached”-persona from earlier seasons, drinking, gambling and having one night stands. And yet with Anne-Marie he chooses a woman who looks very similar to his mother, and even though he tells her not to get too attached later offers her to run away with her. Even though his longing for a home and a family and (romantic) love seems to be stripped away from Dean, we get this little glimpses that something from the old Dean, the real Dean, is still there.

In 10x01 the angel-home-arc also continues (and with that Cas’s identity arc). After the angels can return to their home, Hannah informs Castiel about rogue angels, who don’t want to return, and asks for his help in convincing them otherwise. Once again leaving home, and living on earth, is associated with freedom and choice.

HANNAH: You are an angel, once and forever.

DANIEL: Dropped unwillingly...Unknowingly...Into a strange land, a land that, as it turns out, celebrates the free, the individual. For the first time in thousands of years, I have choices. And with each choice... I begin to discover who I really am.

Perhaps Cas was the wrong angel to convince Daniel and Adina to return home, because he like no other knows what it means to leave his home behind (both on free terms and because he was forced to), and the freedom it can bring with it. But those... are human things.

And because we have to mention him, there is also Cole, who leaves his home and family behind, to go on a revenge mission.

11x01 Out of the Darkness, Into the Fire

Once again we see the suburbian horror, and homes that get destroyed. Jenna’s hometown is destroyed (and people she kew for her whole life killed), just as Crowley destroys the home of his new vessel, Marnie, and kills her husband and friends.

Jenna in the end returns to another place she used to call home, her grandmother’s house, where she feels she and baby Amara are the safest.

Speaking of the Amara, metaphorically speaking, with the body as a home, we could argue that Dean has been Amara’s home for some time, and that because of that she feels such a close connection to him.

And of course again we continue Castiel’s identity arc. Cursed with Rowena’s attack dog spell, Cas leaves his new home/new family, the Winchesters, behind, in order to protect them and turns for help to his old home/family (heaven and the angels). Unfortunately they no longer see him as one of their own/part of their family/part of their home.

12x01 Keep Calm and Carry On

And the last one (if anyone is still reading this, here have a cookie). With Mary’s return of course we come full circle to the pilot. And just as her sons Mary has eventually to make a choice, if she wants to live her life as a hunter or drop out again to live a normal life.

But before we get there Dean returns her to his home, the bunker, just to see that this place has been invaded as well. His brother is missing, and there is blood on the floor, so we have another example of a home destroyed.

Next to Mary we have another mother in the episode, Lady Toni, who reveals her soft side when she calls her son and tells him she will be home soon.

At the end of the episode we get another reminder that Mary dropped out of the hunting life, and that she never wanted her sons to grew up the way she did. Dean though tells her that even though he understands her choice back then, he made his peace with the life he and Sam had, and that the greater goal justifies to give up their own hopes and wishes for a normal life.

MARY: No. I'm sorry. I just... I spent my life running from this, from hunting. And I got out. I never wanted this for you and Sam.

DEAN: Mom, I-I get it. I do. If I had kids, I wouldn't want them in this. But Sam and me... saving people and hunting things, this is our life. I think we make the world a better place. I know that we do.

Tl, dr (and who could blame you):Supernatural very often subverts the image of the apple pie life (a real home, a family, long term relationships, a stable job). If you live such a picture perfect life chances are you won’t survive long enough to enjoy it. Family homes become the places of horror and despair, and every family got a dark secret that wants to be revealved. And yet, in contrast to that, we see both brothers again and again longing for such a normal life, for the safety it brings. And even though the show tells us again and again that you can’t have both, and that especially as a hunter it is near impossible to ever fully leave the hunting life behind, I think the show might one day end on a more positive note, showing us that just because you are the one thing (a hunter) you don’t need to give up on the other things (a home, a family, romantic love).

And finally, my ranking:

1. 1x01 & 6x01

2. 8x01

3. 12x01 & 10x01

4. 9x01

5. 3x01 & 5x01

6. 2x01, 4x01, 7x01, 11x01

#supernatural #the great meta scavenger hunt #round 2 #spn meta #my meta #pilot #in my time of dying #the magnificent seven #lucifer rising #sympathy for the devil #exile on main street #meet the new boss #we need to talk about kevin #i think i'm gonna like it here #black #out of the darkness into the fire #keep calm and carry on

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