#i also unfortunately have to be up for class sooooooo | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ncityrave · 3 years

Text

Baila

Pairing: Dance Teacher!Huang Renjun x Fem Reader

Genre: Slow Burn, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Pinch of Angst, Suggestive, Lowkey College!AU

Rating: PG-13

Synopsis: You can count on your fingers the number of things you can't do. Can't date, can't escape school, and can't dance. But when your roommate convinces you to accompany her at a dance class to impress her crush, you had no other choice but to say yes. It's a pain in the ass, especially when the dance teacher becomes a distraction rather than a guide.

Warnings: Mentions of food and alcohol. Swearing. Heavily implied smut.

Word count: 11k

Masterlist

A/N: I'm not an expert at Latin dances, so my description of them dancing is quite general. If you're a dancer and feel uncomfortable with my portrayal of Latin dance, don't hesitate to inform me! Also I sooooooo have the hots for Renjun rn...

Dancing has never been your strongest suit, nor will it ever be your strongest suit. If most bad dancers had two left feet, let's just say you had two left feet facing opposite directions and liked to move on their own. So, when your roommate, Yejun, practically begged you to join her in a Latin dance class, there was only one clear answer.

“No.”

“What?” she gawks at you. “I am begging! Jeno invited me and this is my one chance to get him to finally fall in love with me. This is my future we’re talking about!”

“And this is my dignity,” you reply flatly, not wanting to argue any further. Although understandably annoyed at her pestering, you really couldn’t blame her for pining over the tall, easy-going Computer Science major.

Lee Jeno carried himself with a cool veneer; hair styled back just enough to make him look cute and not pretentious - according to Yejun. A lone beauty mark adorned his high cheekbones and if you got up close enough, you’d notice a sprinkle of freckles over his porcelain skin. He certainly was a sight for sore eyes. Unfortunately for you, Yejun made sure your ears were the main target of her lovesick fantasizing ever since meeting him. You half-wished you could take his name out of her vocabulary.

“But you have to! I can’t make it too obvious I’m joining just for him,” she whines, clinging onto your arm. Passersby turn towards the two of you, throwing daggers in your direction for ruining the lovely Friday peace and you quickly slap your hand over her lips. But she pushes you away, licking at your palm.

“Gross!” you shriek, wiping your hand off on your pants.

“Come on, man,” she groans, stomping her way towards you. “Can’t you just give in to this one thing? I’ll do your laundry for the rest of the year.” Her eyes grow wide, brows furrowed.

Looking at Yejun, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt for saying no almost immediately. It was obvious to nearly everyone that her crush wasn’t actually as unrequited as she thought it was and if one dance class was what it took, maybe you can spare her the time. Also, there was only so much you could take before you were forced to just spell it out for her.

“You’re gonna cover for me at The Buns and Burner for the next month, no more complaining when I ask you to cook, no more stealing from my cookie stash,” you start to list, her smile brightening, “and, yes. I would like it if you did my laundry for the rest of the year.”

“Promise! I love you so much,” she shrieks, arms enveloping you as she sways you around.

“Yejun!” At the sound of her name, you two turn around. Jeno, the man of the hour, looms over you both with a kind smile. Nodding towards you, he waves shyly. Nudging Yejun forward, she composes herself and smiles back. “So, you coming to that dance class I mentioned?”

“Of course! Wouldn’t miss it,” she replies bashfully. “Y/N’s joining us, by the way.” Jeno’s gaze moves from your giddy friend to you.

“Never pegged you as the dancing type,” he thinks aloud.

“Never was,” you retort jokingly. His smile widens.

“Well, hopefully you’ll enjoy it! My friend is the dance instructor and he’s super excited about the whole thing. It’s his first time hosting a class.”

Yejun is nodding enthusiastically at his every word and you have to physically hold yourself back from telling her to stop otherwise her head will fall off her shoulders. “We’re super excited, too! She was practically begging me to tag her along.”

You side-eye her, pausing minutely before humming in acknowledgement. “I just couldn’t pass up the opportunity,” you lie as Yejun hugs you closer to her side. Jeno laughs, not quite convinced by you.

“Anyway, I have to go! Class and all. See you guys next week!” Jeno walks away and when his figure is far enough, Yejun slumps into herself.

“Make it two months at The Buns and Burner,” you say plainly. She shoots up, mouth opening to protest. But at your pointed glare, she knows you weren’t giving her much of a choice.

“Jeno better ask me out after all this.”

Your earliest memory of dancing was when your parents enrolled you into a ballet class.

Retrospectively, perhaps it wasn’t the best idea especially when you started throwing tantrums in the middle of stretching. Your mother had to apologize endlessly to the instructor while other parents and little ballerinas started to grow impatient with your ceaseless crying. Ever since then, it’s been a non-negotiable that you go nowhere near dance classes unless needed to.

You didn’t hate it, per se. You just didn’t want to be placed in a vulnerable situation where your dancing would be subjected to the judgement of others. Which just made you dread the class even more.

Even before you made your way up to the studio, the tell-tale notes of Latin music were already bouncing off the walls. The glass door’s covered by a sheen of precipitation and when you crack it open, laughter seeps out into the hallway. Hesitantly, you make your way inside, shivering as the air conditioning blasts against your flushed cheeks.

It all feels off standing inside the large dance studio clad in a rumpled pair of leggings and a shirt at least 4 sizes too big. Yejun’s already talking it up with Jeno. Beside him, his friend Jaemin stands with arms crossed, joining in on their conversation. You inhale deeply, swallowing the last inkling of pride.

Eyes sharp, you scan the room. There had to be at least 20 more people. Catching your lingering form, Yejun lifts her arm and waves at you. Jeno and Jaemin smile over at you, watching you wobble over to them.

“Well, look who's here,” Jaemin pipes up. You were much closer to the bubbly, raven-haired Health Sciences major than Jeno, but his warm greeting doesn't make you feel any less out of place.

“Don’t start,” you warn. He laughs at your troubled expression, laying a hand on your shoulder. Jaemin quirks an eyebrow at you, anticipating that you'd run out of the studio before the class even starts.

“Don’t you just love third wheeling?” he jokes, nodding towards your roommate, attempting to lighten your mood. Yejun and Jeno were too deep in conversation to notice the way Jaemin looked over at them - or how you nervously teetered over your feet.

“She promised to do my laundry, so I can’t really complain at this point.”

“That’s not fair. I didn’t get anything out of this!” You laugh at him.

“There’s always a next time,” you mumble, patting his shoulder.

Jaemin lets out a noise of approval. “I hope you don’t mind being my partner for this whole thing,” he gestures around the room.

Knowing you knew absolutely no one else, it wasn’t hard for you to agree. “You’ll have to pry me off your side to catch me partnering myself off with someone else.”

“Only one condition,” he says mischievously.

“What is it?”

“You don’t hit me in the face like what you did to Haechan.”

Of course Jaemin would bring up the time you accidentally sucker punched the Communications major in the face after getting paired with him for your interpretative dance elective. Poor guy had to say he got into a bar fight to save face despite having the confrontational skills of a baby duck.

“That was an accident!” you protest, hands coming up to cover your face.

“Exactly! You gave him a black eye on accident. I can only imagine what you can do on purpose.”

You quietly laugh, reassuring him that you’ll spare his face for the next few hours. “I’m more worried about my dancing than hitting you, if I’m gonna be honest.”

“Hey, you have me as your partner. I got you,” he coyly says, winking at you. Just as you’re about to let out a cry of distaste, the door swings open and the space falls silent. An unfamiliar face walks into the room.

Sporting loose clothing and a cap over his light brown hair, he carries himself with an air of professionalism that even has you lowering your gaze - as if to say he was here for business and business only.

Setting his bag down by the mirror, he's quick to set up the stereo and find his place front and center before removing his cap to reveal his face. Despite the man’s soft features, his hardened eyes catch you off guard. He scans the room, pupils glinting under the harsh fluorescent studio lights, sizing up the class.

You had half the mind to bolt right then and there. Having to dance was one thing, but having to endure this man’s seemingly austere demeanor was another. Suddenly, his eyes land on your group cooped in the corner and a smirk makes its way onto his lips. Your shoulders relax ever so slightly.

“Jeno, Jaemin,” he says, full on grinning, and makes his way towards the four of you.

“Hey, Renjun,” Jaemin greets from beside you, coming towards the dance teacher and pulling him into a hug. “Told you we’d be able to come.”

Renjun looks over at Yejun, then at Jeno knowingly, then at Jaemin, then you. His gaze lingers on you a beat longer. “You must be Yejun and Y/N?”

“That’s us! I’m Yejun,” your roommate says, coming forward and waving happily at Renjun like the social butterfly she is. “We’re roommates,” Yejun adds, pointing over at you. You spare him a curt wave, deciding to keep your greeting short.

Renjun simply nods, glancing at the wall clock before clasping his hands together and making his way back to the front of the class. “Sorry I’m late, everyone. Let’s get started!”

Thirty minutes later, you realize his delicate features were deceitful - soft voice even more of a trickery. You weren’t an expert at dance classes. A few Zumba sessions here and there led you to the ill-informed belief that all dance teachers would be cheery, middle-aged ladies with a knack for cracking jokes and offering reassuring nods through the mirror.

Renjun’s the complete opposite. He liked to remain quiet, taking note of every subtle mistake or misstep. Eyes like a hawk, he’d make his way around the room, counting under his breath as the music played and stopping every time someone missed a beat. Unfortunately for you, you were the source of most of these blunders.

“The counting is 1-2-3-and-4, not 1-and-2-and-3-and-4,” Renjun says firmly, coming up to you for what seemed to be the nth time. “And make sure to flex your toes to the ground on the last count."

“Sorry,” you mumble, pushing back a lock of hair that had stuck onto your sweaty face. “I’m not really good at dancing.”

“I can tell,” he whispers teasingly, but not in a tone that irks you. Regardless, your head whips towards him, mouth pursed in embarrassment. Behind you, you see Jaemin offer you a thumbs up of encouragement.

As you’re about to smile back at him, a hand finds its way to your hips. Renjun places his fingers onto your chin, turning your gaze towards the mirror. Meeting his eyes, your breath hitches and he takes notice of your tense shoulders against his chest. “Okay, go along with me. From the beginning.”

When he steps to the side, he nudges you with him. Your feet falter for a moment before they match his pace, moving somewhat in tune with his quicker, cleaner footwork. Renjun's hand stays around the curve of your hip, steadying you whenever you lose balance. If it was possible for him to burn a palm print onto your skin, it probably would happen with the way his grip seemed to tighten with every count.

“Ready? 1-2-3-and-4.” He glides your two bodies across the dance floor, eyes never leaving your clumsy frame. When he suddenly takes your other hand and spins you across his chest, you trip. Renjun catches you, steadying your body by wrapping his arms around your shoulders.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting that -”

“No worries,” he replies, letting go of your shoulders and finding his place back to the front of the room. You catch sight of your flushed face before walking back to Jaemin, cowering into yourself.

“Shut up.” His grin only grows wider, offering you his hand as Renjun continues with the class.

“I didn’t even say anything.”

When the class finally comes to an end, you feel a great weight lift off your shoulders. Sure, the memories of today will probably haunt you late in the night when you try to fall asleep, but at least the worst was over and Yejun would pay you back generously. The rest of the class trickles out of the studio; you stand awkwardly by the mirror, Yejun lingering by Jeno’s side, who’s already falling into friendly conversation with Jaemin and Renjun.

You probably looked like a child patiently waiting for your mom to stop talking to the friend she met at the grocery store with your hair disheveled, haphazardly hanging onto your bag as you awkwardly scratched at your elbow with your free hand. Their laughter echoes into the studio, Jaemin reminiscing some story about him and a boy named Chenle. But you don’t pay them any mind, thoughts wandering, tiredness starting to take over.

“ - right, Y/N?” You jolt awake. Mouth agape and clearly lost, you turn to Yejun with a questioning look on your face. Your confusion is further fueled by the apprehension of hers.

“Sorry, what was that?” you blink, scratching your head.

Jeno chuckles before saying, “You’ll join us for the next class, right?”

“Next…class?” your eyes shoot to Yejun, who tries her best to avoid your gaze. “What next class?”

Jaemin is the one to laugh this time, coming up to you and placing an arm over your shoulder. “Come on, are you seriously abandoning me after one class together?”

Jaemin and Jeno wait patiently for your answer, Renjun standing tall behind them. Realization dawns over you and you turn to Yejun, who’s simply smiling sympathetically your way. You’d love nothing more than to say no, but the expectant look on Jaemin’s kind face gnaws at your conscience. So, with great hesitation, you simply say, “Sure!”

Working at The Buns and Burner is both a delight and a pain in the ass. It was a dainty little bakery with laboratory-themed decoration and pastry designs. You could admit your favorite was the Erlenmeyer flask-designed sugar cookies. For both its aesthetic and taste. Yejun would argue that the colorful tea served in Florence flasks was the best part.

But while being enveloped by the smell of freshly baked goodies and getting to take home extra pastries free of charge every night could never get old, rush hour could.

Having the bakery situated just near campus, meant that it became a hotspot for professors and students alike to grab their quick fixes before running off to whatever lecture or meeting they needed to be in. It meant two things: the little shop was making good money on the regular; and every noon on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays you barely had time to sit down before rashes started forming on the heels of your feet.

Today, you shared the shift with Yejun and Mark, a schoolmate you’ve shared a few general courses with at the beginning of the school year. Admittedly, stressful days on the job were dampened by the presence of the brazen and laughable boy.

“If someone asks if we still have croissants when there’s obviously a sign that says we don’t, I’m gonna lose it,” he huffs, balancing empty trays in his arms.

“Do we still have croissants?” you call out, smirking when he glares at you.

“Give him a break. He was too busy flirting with that freshman to care about taking inventory, right?” Yejun chimes in from the baskets of baguettes.

Mark audibly flounders from the back. “I wasn't flirting!” Yejun turns to you, rolling her eyes.

“No, he's right. Because flirting usually ends up with the person being flirted with giving their number or something. All the freshman did was run away,” you add, chuckling to yourself.

Mark emerges from the stock room, ears red and sporting a pout. “You guys are being extra mean today.”

“Occupational hazard,” your roommate jokes.

You open your mouth to continue teasing the boy whose ears have turned two shades redder in the last 30 seconds when the familiar chiming of the bell signals to you that a customer’s arrived.

Straightening up, you put on your best smile - the kind you use with the elderly and annoying soccer moms - and make your way to the front of the store. “Welcome to The Buns and Burner, where all our buns are always fresh out of the burner, how may I help you?”

The last person you expect to see as you look up is Renjun. Another cap covers his mop of hair, but today he wears something more casual with a pair of glasses framing his face. His eyebrows are raised in surprise and you falter, grin dropping slightly before he waves at you with a kind smile.

“Hello,” he greets.

“Hi,” you greet back. For some reason, your mind goes blank. So, you wait for him to speak again. And he decides to do the same. You two spend a moment too long in awkward silence and you're forced to go, “Umm, bread?”

Renjun chuckles. “Yeah, bread.”

You nod, leading the way to the row of freshly baked goods and pastries. Yejun spots the two of you, raising an eyebrow but you simply wave her off. He looks over the goodies with a contemplative look on his face, the mingling of different aromas making it harder for him to choose.

“What do you recommend?” He suddenly turns to you, looking down at your frazzled face.

“Oh, well, garlic bread is always a classic.” He hums in agreement. “But sometimes it makes your breath stink.”

“That is a strong argument against garlic bread,” he jokes, craning his head to check the labels.

“We have sandwiches up in the front if ever that's what you're up for.”

“I was hoping for a simple croissant -”

“We don't have those,” you rush. He shifts his head to you, brows knitted. “Right now. We don't have them right now, but you can always come back next time.”

“Next time.” Renjun repeats, pressing his lips in a tight smile. “Sandwich it is.”

He leaves shortly after you ring him up and almost immediately, Yejun slides across the counter, ready to interrogate you. “What was that?”

“What was what?”

She lifts a palm, gesturing towards you as if that was enough of an explanation. “That!”

“I was just helping him,” you defend, tugging at your apron.

She scoffs, flipping her hair. “It looked like you needed help. It took everything in me not to save you from yourself!”

You stammered, heat creeping up your neck. “I didn't need help.”

“Baby, you did. I'm surprised Renjun didn't catch on.”

You back away from the counter, wanting to escape the conversation. “We're not here to joke around right now.”

Mark stands by the side with his arms crossed and the loudest laugh coming out of his mouth. If he weren't a good friend, you would have probably socked him.

“What was that you said about being bad at flirting?” he questions, mockingly bringing a finger up to his lip. So, you grab a stale piece of a baguette and chuck it over to him, smacking him straight on the nose.

Yejun doesn’t drop the conversation, taking any and every chance to tease you regardless of who else was around. Every moment she spent hinting at your awkward encounter with Renjun, it seemed as if your head was seconds away from exploding.

Thankfully, she spared you once you two found yourselves back in the dance studio, Jeno and Jaemin already waiting. Your body tenses when you notice that Renjun was also already there - a silent pep talk all you could give yourself before making your way to them.

Miraculously, Renjun didn't grill your dancing as much as he did the last time. Truth be told, you weren't sure if you were more relieved because you didn't have to be babied in front of everyone else or because you didn't have to come close to him again after the encounter at the bakery. That and the fact that he was looking incredibly attractive today.

The air conditioning had broken down in the morning, disgruntled faces complaining at any moment about the heat of the room. On the other hand, you were definitely not staring at the way Renjun’s Dri-FIT shirt had clung onto the crevices and curves of his body. You were definitely not distracted by the way he constantly ran his lithe fingers through his hair during the class, exposing his forehead as he slicked his bangs back. You were definitely not staring at his flushed face and exposed collarbones post-dance class, the loose shirt he’d just changed into exposing the skin of his chest.

You didn’t think it was possible for someone to still look so alluring even in the most displeasing situations. Yet, there he stood flushed pink and a bright smile adorning his face when he'd notice the class catching up. Next to you, he looked like he’d just walked out of a sports magazine. The bleach-stained shorts and messily-done ponytail did very little to make you feel confident. But before you know it, the class breezes by in a blur of Renjun’s meticulous counting and Jaemin’s jokes. You thought you’d escaped the worst of it when Jeno suddenly calls your name.

“Come over here,” he calls out, bodies slowly starting to flow out of the humid dance studio.

“Yeah?” you ask, hooking your bag over your shoulder. Renjun sees you first, offering you a shy smile that you return.

“Are you free later tonight?” Yejun asks, arm clinging onto you so you don’t escape.

“Yeah,” you reply confusedly, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“Great! I'm gonna have a small dinner tonight, it’s gonna be at The Midnight Bistro. Just wanted to ask if you can come?” Jeno asks, an expectant smile on his face.

“I don’t want to feel like I’m intruding,” you begin to protest, raising a hand and awkwardly smiling.

“Nonsense! You aren’t. Renjun and Jaemin are tagging along; plus, you need that pre-finals breather. Right?” Yejun asks you, nudging you slightly.

“I mean...if Renjun and Jaemin don't mind.”

“Of course I don't,” Jaemin immediately exclaims. Everyone else turns to the shorter boy, awaiting his response.

“No...no. Of course not, you’re welcomed there,” he speaks shyly, fumbling with the hem of his shirt. “I’ll even keep you company for the night.”

Renjun blushes. This time, it's his turn to stagger over his words.

“That’s not what I meant! Like, if you’re lonely...not that you would be lonely because people would like for you to be there, which is why we’re inviting you, but if no one talks to you, you can always talk to me - but I highly doubt no one would want to talk to you because you…,” he falters, gesturing over at you. The others watch over your little exchange in amusement.

His cheeks go impossibly redder. You smile in reassurance. “I’ll be there.”

The Midnight Bistro is a fancy little restaurant atop one of the highest buildings in the city. Unironically, it was one of those spots you would find wannabe hipsters crowded in and fighting over bitcoin and which Indie artist was more underground than the last.

It was a miracle Jeno even got to book a spot on a weekend, but you supposed it was gonna be jam packed either way. The rest of the group was already there. Having been left behind to deal with schoolwork, you were already rushing to find a parking spot.

7:28. You were half an hour late. Grabbing the bottle of wine you bought as a thank you gift on the passenger seat, you quickly make your way into the building and into the elevators.

“Hold the doors!” A voice says just as the elevator nearly closes. Leaping forward, you press onto the button, the doors sliding back to reveal Renjun. In a white turtleneck and suit jacket, hair pushed back. “Hello,” he cheerily greets, adjusting the front of his jacket.

As soon as the elevator doors close, his scent fills the air. You didn't mean to be creepy but when his shampoo smells like mint and his perfume boasted notes of wood sage and sea salt, it was hard not to lean forward to catch a whiff. But you weren't creepy.

Stepping back, you greet him back with a small “how are you?”

“Good,” he says, looking over at you. Spotting the bottle in your hands, he looks down at his empty arms and chuckles. “I sort of feel bad I don’t have a present with me.”

“It’s okay,” you mumble. “I just figured I'd bring this since the wine options up there might cost more than my monthly rent,” you attempt to joke. It works, Renjun laughing lightly as his eyes move to your face.

“I'm sure Jeno wouldn't mind splurging a bit tonight.” There's a pause and you wish you were better at keeping conversations. Just when you think the rest of the ride would be in silence, he adds -

“If you’re still up for it, I’d be happy to keep you company tonight.”

Your hands go clammy, slipping over the smooth surface of the wine bottle. The elevator was taking awfully long getting up the floors. Just fifteen more floors.

“What got you into dancing?” Renjun’s eyes widen, not expecting the sudden probing into his life.

Fourteen more floors. “Well, my mom was also a dancer and as a kid I joined her classes a lot and I guess it just...stuck with me, you know?”

You nearly giggle at the image of a little toddler version of Renjun dancing along to his mother, a giddy feeling enveloping you at how cute that would’ve looked. “Why Latin dance?”

“Picked it up when I moved here and loved it ever since. But I do other genres, too. You can just ask me if you'd like to join some of those classes too,” he says carefully, looking over at you.

Eleven floors. Eleven more floors and you were running out of questions already. Can this elevator go any slower?

“Thoughts on my classes?” he playfully asks, elbowing you. “You seem pretty out of it sometimes.” There’s a pout on his lips when he says this. In the background, you hear the music playing low. For some reason, the elevator doesn’t stop on any floors.

“They’re fun! I’m just inexperienced,” you reason out, shrugging your shoulders. Nine more floors. “But I guess that’s okay because I have a really good teacher.”

Renjun chuckles, looking down at his shoes as a blush makes its way onto his face. “What do you study?” you add.

“I'm from the Fine Arts department,” he says proudly, puffing out his chest. “You?”

“Oh, me? Pfft,” you wave him off. “Plain, old Social Sciences department.”

“I’m sure there’s something fun with that department!”

“Like what?”

He breathes in deeply, lips pursing as he goes deep in thought. “You’re right, I have nothing.”

Laughter fills the small cube and you playfully nudge him with your shoulder. “Writing a bunch of essays all the time is fun, but that’s about it.”

“Does The Buns and Burner offer a grand escape from essays,” he asks, smirking. “What was the tagline? ‘Our buns are always fresh from the burner’?”

“Oh, gosh,” you blurt, covering your face. “That was my idea, but it was a joke - I didn't think they'd actually make me use it!”

“I think it's quite cute. Except that you guys didn't have croissants.”

You playfully roll your eyes. “I'll save some just for you next time.”

“You know, if ever you get tired of all the buns and burners, we actually have an opening in the studio. Maybe you’d be interested in it?”

Raising an eyebrow, you look up at him. Under the dim lights, you see a mischievous glint in his eyes. “What’s it for?”

“Freestyle dance,” he jokingly says, waving his arms around. You throw your head back and laugh, lifting an arm to playfully hit his shoulder.

“I can’t be that bad,” you say defensively.

“I’ve handled worse,” he says with a smirk.

“Thank you, what a lovely compliment.”

Suddenly Renjun shifts, leaning against the railing of the elevator and looks down at you with a soft smile. A lock of hair falls onto his face. Before you could stop yourself, you lean forward and bring a hand up to delicately push it back in place. Your hand grazes his cheek as he tilts his head to the side, looking at you with amusement.

He opens his mouth to say something, but before he could get the words out a loud ding sounds from the speakers and the doors open. A wall of bodies flows before the two of you in an endless sea of suits and cocktail dresses.

Quickly, you bring your hand down as if you’d just touched a burning stove. Renjun places his palm on the small of your back, pushing you forward and out into the restaurant.

Maybe it would’ve been better if the elevator went a little slower.

The next class wasn’t as dreadful as the others before it. In fact, it was the complete opposite - although at the expense of not being able to concentrate right.

Renjun kept to his word that night at The Midnight Bistro. Superglued to each other, you had your own little world amidst the chatter and sound of traffic down below. And when the flutes of champagne piled onto the glass topped table, bubbled in your tummy and made your laugh just a little more carefree, your attention was only on him.

An endless blanket of deep blue hung over you that night, bright stars winking while the moon shone bright in the sky. Funnily enough, the only space left when you arrived was the loveseat.

It was so easy for you both to just get lost in each other. The alcohol brought a buzz that pulled out a side of you you hadn't seen before - a side that clung close to him even before Yejun’s teasing gaze.

He laughed and he shared and he reminisced and he listened. Renjun listened with so much intent when it was your turn to speak. You talked about just how much the night afforded you. Running through your early college life, your family, your dreams and hopes, and whatever else he would ask. That night, with his jacket hung loosely around your shoulders to keep you from shivering, any speck of awkwardness melted away.

And every detail seemed to have engraved itself into your mind. The way his eyes sparkled in the candlelight; how full his cheeks would go with every bolstering bout of laughter; the birthmark on his right hand that he flaunted to you before you ran a careful finger across it; even his arm dangling haphazardly behind you, toying with the tips of your hair.

Now, without the liquid encouragement, the girl you were nights ago seemed like a fever dream.

Throughout the class, it was an impossible task to keep up with the counting when you’d catch Renjun looking over at you through the mirror in the corner of your eye. You tried your best to reel yourself back in, especially for Jaemin’s sake, but Renjun’s gaze was enough to make you want to cower into yourself.

While practicing a particularly difficult portion of the routine, you couldn’t help but let out a series of frustrated sighs. The footwork was difficult and your feet were behaving very un-feet like today.

“Is it right over left, then step forward and left over right, spin?” you ask Jaemin helplessly.

“It’s sort of like this,” he says, casually doing the steps like he’s had them memorized all his life.

Amidst your troubled state, you try to move your feet just like his but only end up looking even messier. Then, a pair of hands land on your hips. You think it’s Jaemin, but when you suddenly look up and the top of your head bumps onto someone’s chin, a groan erupts that is definitely not from Jaemin.

“Renjun, I’m so sorry!”

“I didn’t think I scared you that much,” he says through a pained laugh. “I’m fine. Here, let me help you.” And just like the first time, he guides you through the steps with your gaze at the mirror and his hand resting on your hip. Except this time, there’s an encouraging smile on his face.

“Pause at count 8. Now, just move your hips side-to-side for 4 counts.”

“I don’t know if I’m gyrating my hips right…,” you mumble, rather lamely.

“I’m gonna hold you here again, okay?” he asks. At your nod, he firmly holds onto your waist. Squaring your hips, he starts moving you around to get you familiar with the feeling. When your body flows on its own, his hands go up to shift your shoulders and straighten your back.

Your head was spinning. It’s not because of the movements of your body or the fact that eyes are now once again on you. It was the cheeky, playful, dazzling smile that he flashed your way from the mirror that made you go dizzy.

Yejun was a little surprised that she didn't need to get on her knees to bring you to more classes. Even more surprised whenever she’d see you patiently waiting for her on the couch, already dressed up and ready to go like an overzealous toddler on her way to the park.

Over time, it became you who had to tug her out of the apartment and into the studio. Although, she didn’t have the heart to tell you Jeno had already asked her out, rendering their trips to Renjun’s class unnecessary - but it was fun watching you pine over the guy.

She definitely wasn’t complaining when you’d accompany her to shifts at The Buns and Burner, making her work less of a hassle and more of a joy especially when Renjun would make short daily trips and you’d end up stumbling over your words whenever you’d explain the preparation differences between èclairs, cream puffs, and macarons.

“Just ask Renjun out,” Yejun says casually.

“Are you crazy? This isn’t a Step-Up movie, he’s not gonna love me just because I pulled some dance moves,” you harshly whisper, working quickly to restock the shelves of bread before lunch.

“No one said anything about love,” she slyly remarks. “I saw the way you guys were cuddling with each other at the Bistro. And at classes too! If you’re not gonna ask him out soon, he’s gonna think you’re not interested.”

“How do I even know he’s interested in me?”

She pauses to look up from the cashier, looking at you quizzically. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. You’re so dense sometimes, no wonder you’re single.”

With a sigh, you toe at the carpet below you, sticking out your tongue playfully. “I should’ve stayed home if all you're gonna do is interrogate me.”

“Interrogating is different from encouraging, get your head right,” she starts with a smirk, “unless all you're thinking about is Renjun, then be my guest.”

Quickly, you move away from her judgemental stare. Yejun’s impish brown eyes follow you. “We’re supposed to be working, now if you’ll excuse me.”

Retreating behind the shelf of loaf bread, you let out a sigh. Yejun’s words circle your mind, stomach churning at the thought of your fledging of a crush. Realistically, it wasn’t love with Renjun, but it was something you hadn’t felt in such a long time. And like anything novel, it was strange and indecipherable.

Mindlessly, you shove pastries into their designated trays. Maybe Yejun was right. It had been so long since anybody made you feel this way, so perhaps it was time to take it as a sign that it was time to put yourself out there again. But you were the last person who could be trusted with dating.

“What am I supposed to say?” you wonder aloud, nibbling at your bottom lip. “‘Hey! I really like how you dance, wanna go on a date? Here’s a croissant’ No - what the hell?” you chastise yourself, shaking your head. “‘Remember when you had to hold onto me because I couldn’t get the moves right? Yeah, that lowkey made me like you -’ what am I doing?”

Suddenly, the familiar bell rings and you reflexively look up at the wall clock. 11:48. Silently, you thank yourself for packing an extra pair of band aids this shift. “Welcome to The Buns and Burner, where -”

“ - all our buns are always fresh out of the burner,” Renjun finishes playfully, hands tucked in his pockets as he looks at you, a grin tugging at his lips. “Can you help me?”

His perfume overpowers the sweet aroma of the custard puffs in your hands and you hesitate for a moment. Sunlight filters through the warm tinted windows, a golden hue outlining his slender physique. Looking over your shoulder, you’d hope to see Yejun but her missing figure only provokes a stirring in your chest.

“Sure,” you whisper, feet taking you closer to him.

“I see you guys still have croissants,” he remarks, pointing over the steaming batch.

“Fresh out of the burners,” you laugh. “But we have other goodies; maybe you’re getting sick of croissants.”

“Indulge me,” he smiles, turning to you.

And you do. There’s a comfortable lull to the conversation as you make your way around the shelves, his eyes never leaving you even when you get overenthusiastic over some of the recipes you’d helped develop.

Silently, he listens, taking note of your favorite pastries; the ones you’d talk about with a wide grin on your face; and, somehow, you’d venture into talking about each other as he stood by the counter with two loaves of bread in his arms and a basket of biscuits below him. He looked quite comical - eyebrows furrowed, calculating just how he’ll be able to consume all of this before they went bad.

“I think this is enough to last for the rest of the week,” you joke.

“Trust me, with Jeno and Jaemin around I’ll be surprised if this even lasts two days.”

“We have brownies, if ever you're looking for something sweet. I think a batch of cookies is finishing up in the back right now if you're not in a rush,” you offer kindly, about to pivot on your heel to retrieve the desserts.

“Are you just trying to make me stay longer?”

Renjun’s eyes widen. He didn’t mean to say it out loud, but there was no use escaping now that the words hung heavily in the air. When you remain silent, he shakes himself out of his reverie, reaching behind him for some money.

“Maybe,” you finally answer. It’s difficult to hold back the shy smile threatening to break across your lips, so you don’t.

Renjun reaches forward, offering you a crisp bill. Your hands momentarily brush against each other, skin igniting with his touch. He nods, chewing on his lower lip. “Just so you know, I’d stay even without the cookies.”

You lamely blink up at him, fighting down the elated butterflies fluttering in your tummy.

Suddenly, a thump sounds from behind you. Turning around, you catch Yejun quickly bolting back into the back, her giggles fading the farther away she got.

“I’ll see you next class?” he questions hopefully, slowly backing away.

“Of course,” you reply curtly. Renjun continues to bob his head, even as he backs into a shelf of pies and tarts. You gasp, worry creasing your forehead.

“Sorry,” he laughs out, steadying himself. “I also like tarts.” It comes out so awkward and when he looks up, a shadow of embarrassment flashes across his dark eyes. “I'll go now.”

“I'll see you soon,” you wave, voice soft. Yejun peaks her head from the back again, laughing at the way you bounced on the balls of your feet. She doesn’t notice the smell of burning sugar - not until the smoke detector suddenly goes off.

“Yejun!” She disappears once more to the back, fanning at the oven.

“Sorry!”

You didn't know what to expect with the next dance class. Actually, you sort of did. Given that it had already been a couple of weeks and the routine was just about finished, Renjun was intent on cleaning up the entire dance. You were happy because 1. That meant no more new steps to learn; and 2. Getting to see him again.

What you weren't expecting was to find a new face in the studio. A woman, dancing along Renjun as you all filed into the room. They seemed close. And she was very pretty.

Her long hair cascaded down the smooth expanse of her back and you could swear you'd never seen teeth so straight as she flashed you all a welcoming smile. Bright eyes scanned the room, a blush on her cheeks that made her look all the more friendly. Reflexively, you look into the mirror and catch the reflection of your torn up t-shirt and washed out sweatpants.

Pushing down the jealousy aside, you will yourself to pay it no mind. You can't be jealous, you have no right to be jealous. Renjun wasn't your boyfriend. You weren't his girlfriend. He just liked to stop by the bakery all the time and crack jokes with you, but that virtually meant nothing.

“Time to clean everything up. This is my partner, Minji,” Renjun says, pointing over at her, his eyes squinting as he smiles. “We don’t have all day, so let’s get started.”

This wasn’t normal. No longer were you the rational, level-headed person you often were. Every single thing Renjun did with Minji, you watched and theorized what could possibly be the meaning behind it. Grazed his hand over her arm? They must be in love. Patted her on the back after running through the routine. They must be in love. Laughing at her jokes? They have to be in love. You would be lying if it didn’t make you pause on the spot and wonder if you were the funnier one compared to her.

Compared to her?

No, you were not insecure, thank you very much. It was just a curious case of trying to get to know a person without actually talking to them. Besides, there was nothing between you two. There were no whispered agreements or promises. He was not liable to the thoughts you tried so desperately to silence and he was definitely not liable to your assumption that he liked you back.

But shaking your thoughts away did little to get you to focus, always creeping back into the forefront of your mind moments later. If you weren’t trying your hardest to reel yourself back in, you would’ve spent the entire practice messing up just so Renjun had a reason to come up to you, but the thought of kicking Jaemin’s shins and elbowing him in the face on purpose was too cruel.

Unless -

“That’s it for today, thank you!” Renjun calls out, waving at the class with his boyish grin. Before you can walk away, Renjun is already making a beeline for you and as he clasps his hand in yours, the looming questions cease. “Hey, you,” he says, bringing a hand up to pat the crown of your head “Tired?”

Behind him, you catch a glimpse of Minji talking to Yejun and even your own friend seemed just so enthralled by the long-haired beauty. Stepping back, you notice Renjun’s smile crack, but he’s quick to recover and dig into his pockets as he waits for your answer.

“I’m fine,” is all you say, a tight smile following your ambiguous answer. Why were you so pissed? You kept trying to repeat to yourself that he wasn’t your boyfriend. That you were acting like a pissy teen. But the way he cocks his head as if to say that you can trust him doesn’t help the surging of your emotions. “Just...school,” you add with an awkward laugh.

If he’s doubtful, he doesn’t show it. “Do you wanna have dinner together?” he says shyly, rubbing the nape of his neck.

“I can’t, homework,” you say apologetically. Although that was a lie, you didn't have any deadlines until next week.

“Tomorrow,” he says, just a little more optimistically.

“Studying.” Another lie.

“The next day?” he questions doubtfully.

“I...I’m sorry, I’m busy.” It was pathetic how hard you were trying to escape him, even when you knew he could see through your lies. But he takes them anyway, accepting them with a nod of his head.

You hear Yejun call your name. Minji is waiting patiently for Renjun by the mirror. “I have another class in a bit,” he explains, fixing the cap on his head. “Just text me when you’re free?” You quickly nod. He moves forward to hug you, but you quickly sidestep away.

Renjun doesn’t want to feel offended by what just happened, so he stands there in silence and waits until your form exits the room without a wave goodbye.

Guilt gnaws at you, but a realization presses even deeper. Renjun didn't like you. No, he couldn’t have. He was just being a nice person. He was just doing his job as a dance teacher.

The night air bites at your bones, its bitterness seeping through your jacket and making your nose go dry. Above you, the restaurant’s neon lights cast a sharp tinge of pink onto the pavement you tap your feet against anxiously.

Jaemin, Jeno, and Yejun are sitting in front of you, just finishing up their plates of dinner. The three noticed your change in mood back at the studio and agreed among themselves to take you out despite your protests. A full stomach, slice of cheesecake, and the first smile you cracked in the last 5 hours later, you were all ready to head back home.

“My button is hanging on for dear life,” Jaemin exclaims from beside you and the others chuckle as he rubs his belly languidly.

Silently, you thank the three of them for dragging your ass out otherwise you’d just end up wallowing in your bed. Above you, the sky dazzles full of stars and for a moment, you’re brought back to The Midnight Bistro.

"Why am I so pensive about him?” you wonder, fumbling with your fingers. You ruminate over the thought, flipping it over and over and over and over again only to find nothing underneath because there’s absolutely no way you can come up with any other explanation other than you’d hoped you’d get a chance with him.

It was silly how you collected his smiles, shared conversations, and kind eyes, wrapped it all together, placed a bow on top and called it a crush. Well, the class was coming to an end and as you observe the way Jeno and Yejun curved into each other with more than just friendliness, you smile. At least one of you got something out of dancing other than muscle pain.

The waiter places the bill presenter onto the deep, mahogany table and on instinct all four of you reach into your bags.

“I’m gonna need to eat ramen for a week after this,” Jeno laughs under his breath.

"Let me just remind you that the stash in the cabinet is mine, not yours,” Jaemin warns jokingly, pointedly looking over at the taller male.

You barely hear the playful banter that’s tossed between the two men as you pat over your bag and pockets, not feeling the familiar bump of the item you were looking for. Even when you dig a hand deep into your bag.

“You good?” Yejun asks, sensing your panic.

“Damn it, I can’t find my wallet,” you reply, getting up and rummaging through your backpack again.

“Where did you last leave it?” Jaemin asks, patting down his own pants in case he'd accidentally taken it.

“Obviously, she doesn’t know, dumbass,” Jeno retorts, lightly shoving him.

Recalling your previous steps, a vague memory of leaving it on the studio floor and never putting it back into your bag comes to mind. You sigh out, already getting up from your seat.

“I think I left it in the studio,” you admit, looking over at Yejun. “Can I pay you back tomorrow, I promise I won't forget,” you plead with an apologetic look.

She looks up at you with a smile, already handing the bill to the waiter. “Don't worry about it, just go get your wallet back before I change my mind.”

It was well past opening hours when you arrived back at the studio, the entryway already dim, not a person in sight. Making your way to the door, you're surprised to find it unlocked and you step in to look around for anyone who can help you.

Soft music plays in the background, coming from the familiar practice room you’d been using for the past few weeks. Peeking through the glass panel, you make out the familiar shape of your wallet on the ground and quickly step in to retrieve the lost item. But you didn't notice the other figure standing in the room until you're inside.

Renjun is situated in the middle of the studio, bobbing his head to the beat of the R&B song playing softly from the speakers. He doesn't notice you walk in. Definitely doesn't notice you as he lifts the end of his shirt up to his forehead and wipes away the sweat dripping across his hairline.

It's hard for you to look away as the low, warm studio lights shine against the skin of his torso, a sheen of sweat glistening against his chest, droplets trailing down his stomach as he breathes harshly from the routine he’d been practicing. Dropping his shirt, he brings his hands to push back his damp hair.

Your throat dries up, mind just trying to unpack what you just witnessed. But your feet are already moving, turning around to exit, wallet completely forgotten. Justifiably distracted, you don't notice just how close you are to the door and as you turned around, you collide with the glass, banging your head against the panel, startling Renjun.

“Who’s there?”

Without any means of escaping, you turn around. Ears and neck starting to heat up, you face him with an awkward smile. He returns your smile with a pensive one, an eyebrow raised.

Moments pass by in silence, Renjun still waiting for you to speak as you find your voice. “Can I ask what you're doing here?”

Opening your mouth, not the faintest sound comes out. Willing yourself to speak, you let out a small laugh, eyes looking around the room.

Wallet. You were here for the wallet.

Pointing towards the item, Renjun follows the direction of your finger and spots it immediately.

“That yours?”

“Mhmm,” you nod, walking towards the table, maintaining distance from your dance teacher lest you combust on the spot.

Mentally, you were kicking yourself. It was just skin. Everyone has skin. For God’s sake, you’ve been on multiple beach trips with your friends before and skin was all you saw!

You quickly stuff the item into your bag, scrambling for the door but just as you're about to make it out, he calls out for you. Freezing on the spot, you breathe in deeply.

“Get your shit together,” you think to yourself.

“Yes?” you reply waveringly, hands tight around the strap of your bag.

Leaning against the mirror, sharp jaw tilted and his eyes on you. He smiles knowingly - like he can read your mind and has known every single thought you had ever made about him. But then again, maybe it didn't take reading your thoughts to know what you felt about Renjun.

“Would you like to join me?”

“For...what?” you croak out, knees nearly giving in from under you.

Renjun is already walking towards you, clasping your hands in his and bringing you to the center of the studio. Shrugging off your bag and coat, he takes them in his arms before setting them aside. Next thing you know, a soft, sensual beat plays from the speakers. The music plays loudly enough that you can feel the floorboards below you vibrate with the bass. Renjun turns around, looking at you under hooded eyes.

You recognize the melodic hum from all the other songs he’s danced to and taught between classes. He wants to dance the Bachata.

“Join me?”

You let out yet another awkward laugh, backing away from him. “You know I can't dance,” you say defensively. But he shakes his head, smirking while he beckons at you with a finger.

“Bullshit, I've seen you,” he replies, moving forward. It isn't until your back collides with the cool surface of the mirror that Renjun traps your head between his hands, face inches away from yours. “Now, dance with me.”

Renjun’s hands move down to your sides as he looks at you, as if to ask permission. When you nod, he presses his fingers against the crevices of your hips, peeling you away from the mirror and against his firm chest.

You feel his breath against your neck as he moves your hair off your shoulder before sliding his hand down the small of your back. Your breath hitches, blinking up at him as he looks down at you with a glint in his eyes you can't quite name.

“The dance is pretty simple,” he lets out, fingers drumming against you. “Let me guide you?”

Not trusting your voice, you only nod.

“Just move like this with me.”

So, he leads the dance. With his hand pressed against your back, the other on your shoulder. He sways you back and forth, your feet suddenly having a mind of their own and moving with him - minus the stepping on his toes.

“Good, now you can try moving your hips.”

Gently, his hands find their place on your hips and guide them with the beat of the music and with his own body’s movements. His hands come up to lift your arms over your head before he smooths his palms down your back, a hand coming underneath your thigh to hike your leg over his waist. He dips you back slowly, taking his precious time bringing you back up as he traces his nose along the column of your neck.

“Wrap your arms around me.”

Like some spell, you follow his every instruction without question. You bring a hand against the damp crook of his neck. His skin is hot to the touch, your fingertips buzzing as you glide your arms over his neck and around his shoulders. Hesitant, you wait for him to lead the dance and as he steps forward, the hand on your hip pushes you back slightly, matching his movements. A lazy grin tugs at his lips.

Suddenly, he twirls you around, bringing your back flush against his chest. “Look at us through the mirror,” he commands teasingly.

Your reflections lock eyes with each other and for a split second you forget how to breathe. Renjun traces patterns across your stomach until his palm closes on your waist and he’s swaying you along with him, his nose digging into the crook of your neck, hot breath fanning against your skin.

It’s so sensuous, so intimate, so unlike you. You barely recognize the way your body moves along with him and if it were anyone else, you’d already probably be running for the hills and blasting whatever noisy song you had onhand to erase the memory. But that wasn’t needed here; you'd very much like this memory to be burned into your mind.

Even as the song finally comes to an end, you don’t pull away. Renjun continues to sway you against him while you bring a hand up to cover his, intertwining his fingers with your own as he turns to face you. Renjun places his fingertips against your chin, resting his forehead against yours. Eyes locked, you see that same look from minutes ago.

“If you don't want me to, just tell me,” he whispers breathlessly, mere inches away from your face that the tips of your noses brush ever so gently. But you want him to. You've been wanting and hoping for it for so long. And when you lean it and capture his lips against yours, he doesn't hesitate to bring his hands against your back and push you flush against him.

Kissing Renjun is exactly what you imagined it would be. Sweat stains his lips salty but there's a hint of the taste of custard on his tongue - like the custard you gifted him the other day. He smells of wood sage and sea salt and burnt sugar and The Midnight Bistro.

A hand comes up to press against your neck, bringing you impossibly closer against him. It's soft and warm and gentle. Plump lips guiding you, dragging you into some trance. Next thing you know, he has you pinned against the mirror, his free hand now holding yours against the glass. The music drowns out the soft mewls and moans that escape your lips, and when he pulls back for air, your lips reach out for him.

“I know Jaemin is my friend but it really bugged me that he got to dance with you all the time,” he confesses, Adam’s apple bobbing.

You pause, suddenly remembering Minji. In the time that it took for you to recollect yourself, Renjun realizes just what was bothering you and he brings a hand to cup your cheek. “She’s just a friend. I wouldn’t spend all that money at The Buns and Burner if I didn’t want you to be more than.”

You gulp, mind racing. “Are you for real?" Instead of answering you, he presses his lips against yours. Heart thumping against your chest, your mind scrambles to keep up with his lips clashing against yours with so much intent.

“Where are you going after here?” he mumbles against you when he pulls back again. Renjun brings a thumb to trace your bruised lips, grazing over the smudged lipgloss.

“I was...I was just gonna head home,” you reply out of breath.

“Okay,” he states, the tip of his tongue darting out as he kisses his teeth. “You're coming home with me.”

In the comfort of Renjun’s apartment, your hands fumble against his, quickly making their way underneath his shirt and upwards, lifting up the black fabric over his head and tossing it towards the floor to join your own clothes. Fingertips lightly dance across the expanse of exposed skin, leaving a hot trail in its wake until all you feel are his hands on you. All you want to feel are his hands on you.

The room fills with hushed laughter as he makes his way down the sides of your waist - ticklish and delicate, they trace dainty patterns, goosebumps rising with every soft touch. Feverishly, he kisses you again, leaving little room between your bodies as he lays you against the plush pillows, mattress bouncing underneath you. Curling your fingers into his hair, you pull him in deeper, breathing him in at any moment, the light from the streetlamp bleeding through the curtains, glowing across his delicate skin.

“Renjun,” you moan into his neck, a soft whisper mingling together with his heavy breathing while his tongue, lips, fingers explore you, igniting a fire in the pit of your stomach that only grew with desire with every teasing pause he takes.

Renjun hums against your jaw, smiling to himself as he lightly trails the outline of your face with his lips. The air is so thick, so filled with lust that you’re sure you’re dreaming. This has to be a dream.

He brings a hand up to gently caress the side of your face, nuzzling his cheek against yours. Safe in the secrets of the dark, you allow him to lead you, play with you, tease you. It's so pathetic how easily you give into him, how easily he pulls moan after moan out of your lips as his hips collide with yours, skin burning against you. And when he pins your wrist against his pillow before snaking his fingers into yours, your mind only recalls his name. Just like in the studio, he leads with an air of dominance that has you lightheaded.

“So pretty like this,” he gasps, fingers digging into your hips, your nails pressing crescents into the smoothness of his back. Shadows dancing onto the surface of the wall, his lips close around yours and captures your every mewl, bringing you to a high that only leaves you begging for more.

Sealing the night with a kiss, he lays beside you, pulling your bare body into his chest as he plays with your hair. “Stay the night,” he whispers sleepily against your shoulder.

Too tired to protest, you nod, curling into him. Not that you’d have it any other way.

In the morning, when the sunlight seeps in and shines harshly against your eyelids, you reach out to a vacant bed, hand landing on messily strewed pillows. Rubbing your eyes, you try to make sense of where you are when the memories of last night all come flooding back.

As you're about to get up and hunt for your clothes, Renjun walks in with a cup of coffee and a plated pastry, his hair messy as he sports a cute smile.

“Good morning,” he greets, coming beside you and setting the mug down on the bedside table, a hand coming down to gently fix your bed head.

“Morning,” you let out with a raspy voice.

“I remember that trick you taught me to make old cream puffs taste fresh out of the oven and I wanted to try it,” he remarks, bringing the puff up to your lips. You take a bite, humming at the softness of the bread, filling melting on your tongue.

“Did I do good?” he asks curiously and smiles wide when you bring a thumb up.

“Good job!” you mumble. Renjun brings a hand up, wiping at the cream by your lips before sucking it off his fingers. You gulp. Instantaneously, you're hyper aware of your nakedness.

“This is not how I expected my Friday night to go.” you ponder out loud.

He smiles at you, leaning forward to plant a kiss against your lips. “I hope you still liked the unexpected turn of events.”

Humming, you wrap your hands around his neck, dragging him back into the sheets. “I'm not sure. Maybe a replay of what happened can refresh my memory.”

“Happy to comply,” he mumbles against your lips with a grin, coming under the covers with you.

To save you from the embarrassment of having your first walk of shame, Renjun accompanies you to your apartment. Coming home in a disheveled state has to be one of the most demeaning things to ever do, but there was a skip on your step as you walked into the complex, pinkies linked with him.

“You can come in if you’d like,” you mumble, wrapping your arms around his waist.

“I’m afraid that if I do, we’ll just be in bed all day.”

“And you wouldn’t want that because…?”

Renjun tilts his head upwards, eyes closed as he feigns contemplation. “You’re right, there’s no argument here.”

In the quiet air of the early morning light, you were hoping you wouldn't be caught tiptoeing into your apartment. But Yejun was already in the kitchen, a robe wrapped tightly around her torso, her sleep-stricken face glaring at you.

“Where the hell were you?” she scolds, arms crossed over her chest.

“I was just out -”

“I've been trying to call you, but you wouldn't pick up. Imagine how worried I was!”

“I'm fine. See?” you twirl, showing her absolutely no damage to your body. “Perfectly fine.”

“Still, the least you could’ve done was call. I had to ring up Jaemin and Jeno last night to ask if they heard from you -” she suddenly pauses, the anger having fully woken her up, her vision clears now that her mind was no longer clouded with alarm and sleep. She spots the purple bruise on your neck. When you take notice of her gaze, you bring a hand up to cover the hickey, cheeks flaring up.

As if on cue, Renjun rounds the corner and smiles boyishly at your roommate.

Before you can stop her, she screams: “OH SHIT!”

“Shut up!”

“You guys slept together!” she shrieks loud enough to awake the rest of the floor. Maybe the entire building. “You guys slept together,” she sing-songs giddily, dancing around in the kitchen.

Shoving him towards your bedroom, Yejun’s teasing continues to echo even as you slam your door shut. Renjun doesn’t seem to mind, giggling as he lays you onto your familiar covers. He places soft pecks against the crown of your head while you two doze into a deep slumber, a smile etched on your face.

Thank you so much for reading this fanfiction! I hope you enjoyed it just as much as I enjoyed writing it. Don't be afraid to send in critique or comments, it's my biggest motivation to keep writing these stories. 💖

#nctcreations #kdiarynet #kpopscape #nct imagines #nct dream imagines #nct fluff #nct smut #nct angst #nct renjun #renjun fluff #renjun smut #renjun angst #renjun imagines #huang renjun imagines

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phulpakharu · 2 years

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initial thoughts on gintama characters PART 2

here is the original post, if you wanna see. for anybody who's curious, i'm doing this because my mortal enemy (i.e. friend) wants essays about my thoughts on these characters... acting like this show is a class fr. i hate and love you in equal measure my dearest nemesis <3

i know you've been waiting for this one for a WHILE, so without further adieu, here is my initial impression of your babygirl, Takasugi Shinsuke.

(note: i know some spoilers about gintama, so my opinions are not gonna be clean or whatever because of that)

ALSO... THIS IS ALL SPECULATION. don't take me too seriously. i'm not trying to start disc/horse

takasugi is a man i have been waiting to meet, because @takasugisbabygirl is so in love with him, and i want to understand why. also just, the few spoilers i do know about him make me want to off myself.

so naturally, i squealed when he showed up on screen in episode 17. he was finally here !!!! and he wouldn't be showing up again for another 41 episodes, but i'll take the crumbs i can get.

my first thoughts were: 1) oh he's gonna be sooooooo fucked up and deranged for sure, and 2) THAT VOICE

THAT VOICE... oh my gosh. his voice suits him perfectly, Takehito Koyasu played him so well... wow. also, he was wearing a hat !!!!! idk what else to say about the hat, i just appreciated it is all.

okay, so a bunch of other stuff happens in this episode, so i'll scream about that briefly, before getting back to takasugi.

SHINPACHI MY TONE-DEAF SON... I LOVE YOU

KAGURA YOU ARE SO REAL AND WONDERFULLY 14 FOR ENACTING A SOAP OPERA... MY DAUGHTER... I LOVE YOU

GINTOKI I HOPE YOU GOT YOUR COTTON CANDY EVENTUALLY BABE

this ep was fucking DRAMATIC, i think nothing will top how heartfelt episode 13 was for me, it just HIT

KAGURA AND SOUGO WERE SUCH A FUN DUO.. THE SADISTS ARE TEAMING UP !! (i do not ship them because gross, and i have been informed that gin / kagu are unfortunately a big ship in this fandom??? y'all need buddha and allah and christ and five more different kinds of divine intervention fr)

that moment when gintoki and that inventor man (gengai or smth) were having ramen, and speaking about war and loss with that sad fucking piano ost... maybe it hit me a little. genuinely, i hate thinking of gintoki being in pain, i hate thinking of him experiencing loss, even when i'm vaguely aware of his backstory.

...

ANYWAYS... back to takasugi. HE WAS WATCHING YOROZUYA AND GENGAI WORKING... i wanna know what was going on in his head. what did he think when he saw gintoki? is this the first time he's observed from afar? what did he think when he saw gintoki with his surrogate children? i just want to know what he thought.

i can vaguely speculate, that he was angry, because i think he has so much of it that he doesn't know where to put it. i think he may have also felt a bit betrayed, seeing gintoki move forward with other people in his life, seemingly forgetting the past. he says as much later on, though not in those words exactly. i'm just fascinated by his heart and mind and thoughts.

speaking offffff....... that moment when he cornered gintoki after the fireworks show!!!! dear fucking god!!!!!! i don't know how to properly articulate all my feelings about this, but i will try.

1) takasugi is tasking himself with keeping gintoki busy, because he knows that even in gintoki's "defanged" state, he's a threat to the chaos and destruction takasugi wants to incite.

2) he's fucking deranged and i already love him

3) the metaphor of the beast. gosh, this was so well done. it was clear and obvious what the metaphor meant, but it's also very layered. just, wonderful! takasugi and his beast that screams outwards, that's unruly and set loose to destroy everything, because he has nothing left to protect, nothing to really fight for, just wanting to burn the world that took everything from him. wow.

gintoki and his beast that screams inwards, that's caged and locked, and silently ruining him on the inside. the rage he feels turned inward at himself for not being able to protect everyone in the past. which then manifests as him doing everything he can to protect his loved ones now. because the past is the past, even if it haunts him, what's done is done, all he has is what's in front of him. (again, this was really wonderfully set up and displayed in ep13, when kagura and shinpachi were taken away by space pirates. that moment when gin see's them being dragged away and the panic and desperation all over his face... dear god.)

4) this leads me into the set-up for what i know will be an ongoing theme of duality. gintoki and takasugi, two sides of the same coin. protection vs destruction. internalization vs externalization. glittery pink comic sans 'i will protect you' vs flaming cryptic gothic 'i will destroy you'. they're two poles, facing each other, mirroring each other, outwardly different, but stemming from the same roots. it's set up sooooo well, and i'm deeply excited to see where this will go.

5) the "fangs" : this was a veryyyy interesting metaphor. gintoki asking whether takasugi provoked gengai into attacking. and then takasugi talks about the "fangs" about the "white demon" and goshhhhh so much foreshadowing??? all for me??? i feel spoiled.

it also offers some insight into how takasugi views the world, but especially gintoki. in takasugi's eyes, gintoki has also lost all meaning, and in a way, he's not wrong. in takasugi's eyes, gintoki has forgotten his past, forgotten what the world did to him. takasugi doesn't, on a fundamental level understand how gintoki can be so... idle. how he's able to exist with the past that he has, and how he isn't just as furious with the world. and therein comes takasugi's belief as to what "fangs" are, and why he thinks gintoki lost his. why find new things to protect when you failed the first time around? why have new things to lose when the loss already broke you once before? why do anything other than let the wretched, indifferent world burn?

i need to mention, this is all speculation. i haven't gotten into takasugi or gintoki's backstories all that deeply. i don't know exactly what happened to them, but i am somewhat aware of it.

anyways, back to "fangs" because we got a little off-track. i think this whole thing is fascinating. because "fangs" can mean anything depending on who the person in question is. for takasugi, it's his desperate ambition to destroy whatever lays before him. for gintoki it's his opposing need to protect what matters to him. for gengai it was about control, about directing his grief somewhere, so he can, if only for a moment, feel less unmoored.

it's just a very interesting thing to me, and i'm excited to see how it's explored later.

aaaaaaaah so this became a little less about takasugi, and more about takasugi and gintoki.... i don't think i can be blamed though. they're literally mortal enemies, deeply intertwined, etc etc. gay as hell.

okay back to takasugi. i'm soooo intrigued by this man. i love his voice and his monologues. i love that he's deranged, but i'll probably be in pain later because i just Know i'll love him and wish for him to be happy instead.

and back to this episode... he is so, gosh... what a wonderfully set-up antagonist. that moment when gintoki grabs his sword with a bare hand, declares easily that he's not defanged like takasugi thinks, and takasugi is so taken aback by it. and again. i want to know what he's thinking. he's shocked, but what else. relieved, maybe? that the gintoki he remembers still exists? that he isn't apathetic at all? fond? i can only speculate, but he seemed kind of fond of gintoki, when he was talking to katsura at the end of the episode, idk idk. angry? definitely. why? i don't know. maybe because he doesn't understand why gintoki lives so idly, when he's clearly not lost his spark or his fangs. maybe because he wishes gintoki was angry in the same way. i literally have NOOOO IDEA, THIS IS ALL SPECULATION.

also gintoki.. mentioning sadaharu... as his beast... mf really deflects and represses his emotions using humor huh. babygirl please go to therapy, or maybe have a parfait.

...

uuuuuuh. anyways. idk if this "essay" if i can even loosely call it that, made any sense towards the end lol. i have many thoughts, but not enough words to communicate them all. but yeah. takasugi shinsuke. what a deranged little guy <3

#ruks i hope you're happy.#takasugi shinsuke #sakata gintoki #gintama #mai.txt.ramblings

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mewtonian-physics · 3 years

Note

Hello Penny! How have you been? Alright, I hope. I know it's been awhile, sorry. How is your job and school and professors and all that going?

I don't really have anything to say, I went to the store and got a compliment on my haircut, which was nice, just thought I'd check in with you, since it seems like you maybe haven't been feeling your best, and send a bunch of love your way.

Idk, I just really like you. You're super cool and interesting, and I like seeing you on my dash, you make my day better and I really want you to have a happy and contented life, like you deserve.

Also, have you seen those complications on YouTube of Chuuya screaming? My favorite is when you can hear him screeching in like an airplane before busting through the ceiling (when Daiza is in an attic with a gaint cake, I think?), like EEEEEEEEEEEEYAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

It always makes me laugh, he's so little and angry.

Anyways, be well - 🌻

hi!!! i've been okay :) classes are going pretty well, i'm REALLY enjoying the one law class i'm taking (stretches out my little hands for more) so in that regard i am just living my very best life. the rest of them are decent but it is hard to beat that one. i've actually started trying to take up poetry on the suggestion of a girl in one of my classes and i think i'm at least not horrible at it lol. i think prose is still more my style but poetry isn't half bad either, especially free verse because fuck rhyme and meter i do what i want.

unfortunately i do not have the job anymore :( it was a temporary position but wow they did not make it clear just how temporary it was going to be. i worked from thursday through to the saturday of the following week (except on sunday) and then that was it. so my contributions to the college tuition are not exactly skyrocketing. i did win a scholarship though, it's small but i take what i can get. why must college be sooooooo expensive the cruel hand of capitalism crushes me

i'm also considering signing up for a little show at my university i kind of want to try comedy... i might be awful at it but it could also be fun, who knows. i haven't made a real decision yet though i'm too anxious about possibly being bad at it lol

oooh hair compliments are some of my favorites. what kind of cut is it :0 would love to hear details.

thank you very much :) your asks always cheer me up, i love hearing from you and i hope you have a happy life too!

YES

CHUUYA NOISES ARE SO FUNNY

he'll just go 'HAH?!' and my day will instantly be improved. like of course he's gonna be yelling and screaming and such when he's literally being taken over by a god of destruction and calamity it's the fact that he keeps doing it all the time that just makes it perfect. and the SCREECHING i know EXACTLY what scene you're thinking of and it's one of my favorite examples. dazai's just sitting there with a whole little party set up complete with absolutely enormous cake (boy did the cake look good) and then just the quiet (at first) scream slowly getting louder and louder and the war between 'yay, chuuya's here' and 'oh god he's gonna come in through the window, goodbye cake' and you can SEE dazai having basically the same reaction i mean he sighs and looks towards the window like 'and i went to all this effort.'

i think the screaming is his internal rock star coming out. i mean he IS voiced by taniyama kishou, it's to be expected. (speaking of which, have you listened to any of his songs outside of the ones he did for bsd? because i've been listening to this one he wrote apparently way before bsd, 'sugar', and there's one part where it DIRECTLY MENTIONS chuuya (the real one) and it cracks me up. irl foreshadowing. plus it's just a catchy song) whole reason i'm weak for aus with chuuya as a singer is because it just already works. he might as well be. in my mind it is nakahara chuuya singing the bungou stray dogs openings. i manifest it.

also let's talk for a second about how i can count on one hand the amount of times chuuya yells about something that is completely unrelated to dazai. those two are a riot.

also also on that subject ranpo was so brave to pull that trick with the book like if he'd gotten even a little bit wrong he would have been so pulverized even yosano couldn't do anything. he would have been dust. this man intentionally pissed off someone who literally has a god of destruction inside of him. really brave... and also really stupid

he IS so little and angry though bsd wan was on point making him a chihuahua bc thats exactly the vibes. tiny loud and ferocious. i love him. one of the best characters in bungou stray dogs and that's just a fact. [claps] where is he asagiri show me the tiny angry man

#ask #anon #sunflower anon #sorry you totally set me off i just care deeply about him

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naruthings · 4 years

Text

THE NEJITEN FANFICTION RECOMMENDATION MASTERLIST

oh, anon, the lack of nejiten fics thrive in the hearts of many… i may have similar experiences myself……………

but fear not, i have searched far and wide and i have returned and came back stronger than ever before!!! after re-reading every single nejiten fic i have on my favorites… handpicked the best ones and returned with even more fic recs!!! so ladies and gentlemen, i present to you, only THE BEST NEJITEN FICS YOU WILL READ ON FANFICTION DOT NET. HERE WE GO!!!

HALL OF FAME: ONE-SHOTS

THE BEST one-shots you will find on the site. Some are fluffy, some are sad, some will make you want to rip your heart out. But rest assured that without a doubt these fics are the absolute frivvy. These will not disappoint!

Tier 1: Spring — Here we appreciate the beauty of simplicity. Fics full of fluff and spunk that end in one and will make you end up feeling peppy and happy afterwards. A refreshing break from the complexities of life, short and sweet but nicely written, representing everything bright and new and blossoming, but most importantly, pure. So, friends, get your toothbrushes ready, because you are in for a sweet ride!

Tags: fluff, romance, humor, family, friendship

1. The Kissing Booth by BrownEyedHoneyBadger

— “ Lee was already reaching for a dollar inside his pocket. Mentally, Tenten began to scream. No. No. NO. This could not be happening. She should get up and run. Screw charity work. She was not kissing the guy whose eyebrows were furrier than the school mascot.”

Comments: A great start into the journey. NEJI IS SO GODDAMN SMOOTH. basically this fic is incredibly witty and genius. ugh!!

2. Psst! by Arkana

— “Lee finds out about Neji and Tenten’s relationship the hard way. The VERY hard way. “

Comments: I BUST MY ASS LAUGHING AT THIS ONE. I SWEAR THIS IS THE BEST, SWEETEST MOST IDIOTIC SHIT I HAVE EVER READ. PLS GIVE IT A GOOO

3. Conversations: Somniloquy by Mendori-chan

— “Neji. Your spit is warm.“

Comments: A storytelling all in dialogue. The perfect reenactment of something supposed to be short and sweet. I loved the dialogue and continue to love it!!

4. Godiva by Toboe Lonewolf

— “Neji had broken one of the most hallowed rules known to woman. ‘Thou shalt not steal her chocolate.’ Tenten’s going to make sure he never does it again. At least, not without her permission.”

Comments: just the fluffiest fluff out there!!

5. Screw Chivalry by Hearts and Stuff

— “Tenten didn’t want to do it. Really. But Neji shouldn’t have been such a butt.”

Comments: FUNNY AND HUMOROUS. I loved this so much! Has one of my favorite dialogue in any fic, really. PROBABLY REREAD THIS LIKE 100 TIMES IN 7TH GRADE

6. Hindsight by YamiPaladinofChaos

— “Sasuke and Tenten, on a date? Neji is not happy, not in the least. And of course, it’s all Naruto’s fault. No, really. It is.”

Comments: Okay, THIS SHIT WAS HILARIOUS. OH MY GOD. THANK U FOR THIS WONDERFUL AND FUNNY ASS FIC. kinda gets weird tho but i guess it’s part of the appeal.

7. I’m a Kunoichi, But by notesonlife

— “Tenten and Neji read a feminist book. And of course, trouble ensues, as Neji becomes increasingly aware that Tenten is currently, and may have always been, a girl.”

Comments: So, guys, notesonlife has always been one of my favorite authors early on my nejiten phase, and this is one of my favorites. please read their other stories as well!

8. The Problem with Hats by Aquarius Galuxy

— “Broken a/c, a tipped-over Weinermobile, and a girl who can’t seem to stop bugging him. It seems as if Neji’s day can’t get any worse than this.”

Comments: A sweet, well written fic by one of the writing senpais herself, @aquariusgaluxy ! I love both Neji and Tenten here so much!! NEJI IS SO FCKN CUTE HERE!! AND CHEEKY TENTEN!!!! AAA

9. Mission: Reverse Nejiten by Adelle-chan

— “Tired of all the failed attempts, Naruto uses Lee’s beliefs to get the two together. Or sort of.”

Comments: HOLY CRAP THIS WAS GREAT AND FUNNY AS HELL. Characterization is on point. This is my definition of a perfect naruto fic — where the other characters interact with the ship and the dynamic is great, like it’s part of the main story all along. i fucking love this one.

10. Truth Be Told by Mistress of Sarcasm

— “Hyuuga Neji falls for Tenten the day she almost broke his nose. Tenten doesn’t think of Hyuuga Neji as boyfriend material until an hour before he confesses.”

Comments: Holy crap! this was sweet as fuck! also one of the OG fics I want you all to read. Please give it a try!

11. Fifty Winks by Sandataba

— “Oversleeping is sometimes a good thing.”

Comments: Nice and Fluffy. shit u want to eat. I found the last part super cute!!!!! STILL think abt this fic from time to time.

12. Boxers by notesonlife

— “In which Tenten reorganizes Neji’s underwear drawer, and Neji decides to propose.”

Comments: OKAY, THE FLUFF IN THIS ONE WAS SIMPLY TOO MUCH. IT WAS TOO GOOD MAN. PERFECTION.

13. Rush Hour by Poisoned Scarlet

— “It was during one of those days; when the crowd was at it’s fullest, that he strolled into the shop and inadvertently humiliated her.”

Comments: Heehee. this one was cute.

14. Actions Speak Louder by Lotos-Eater

— “Short oneshot containing a dangerous amount of fluffiness. The surgeon general recommends you brush your teeth immediately after reading.”

Comments: HOLY FUCK. THIS ONE WAS SO, SO CUTE. ISTG THIS SHIT WAS. AAAAAAA. JUST PERFECT. *CHEF’S KISS* PERFECT.

15. Keeping Up Appearances by 716799

— “Them? Caught in the act? NEVER.”

Comments: okay, at first i was a little hesitant to add this fic but THOUGHT IT WAS THE PERFECT ENDING!! SO SWEET N FLUFFY!!!

MORE UNDER THE CUT!!

Tier 2: Summer — Stories serving as a reminder of our lazy, hazy days of summer — complete with all the thrumming romance, sexual tension, and drama that reflect easily so on those summery teenage memories. They’re sweet, spicy, sometimes heavy, but have all the ingredients you need for the perfect sunset fics. Read with passion! Let’s go!!

tags: romance, drama, lime, spicy

1. a memory stick filled with myspace friends by straw8erries

— “fake facebook dating: it’s really cute, she swears.”

Comments: Funny, spicy, a little heavy, but nonetheless hot, what other story to start off this tier? It’s a college AU , maybe not with the closure that you would expect from something like a summer romance, but it has these moments that shine.

2. Singing Sirens by 716799

— “Everything about this says that it’s not going to work. But Tenten has always specialised in disasters, and nothing in their world is a coincidence.”

Comments: Sooooooo hot. I love the goddamn dialogue, the characters feel so fresh and new but so true to heart at the same time. Please give it a try!

3. In Coffee City, We Borrowed Heaven by Aquarius Galuxy

— “It wasn’t as if he wanted to take this class, anyway. Reproductive Health 1101 was for people who couldn’t look up information on Google. Or someone who needed a science module to fit in his already-packed schedule. Hyuuga Neji belonged to the latter group of students, and he was in no mood to explain himself.“

Comments: As always, @aquariusgaluxy never fails. This was equally hot and equally clever, and you can’t help but with it were longer, but isn’t that the point??? sometimes ambiguity is also magical

4. Sixth Time’s the Charm by thedarkangel22

— "Gosh, Neji, where’s your sense of adventure, huh?” “I managed to lose it somewhere between the third and fourth time we were caught with your hand down my pants.” Where Tenten and Neji can’t seem to resist one another.

Comments: I remember reading this fic over and over again because I couldn’t get over how nicely written it was. Great plot, set up, dialogue, seeks excitement throughout the whole fic. Exhilarating. Pls read.

5. Revolver by Scintazzle

— “’You’d better not get in my way, incompetent novice.’ Tenten just got a new partner in crime. Unfortunately, he’d like nothing better than to work alone.”

Comments: Holy holy shitttttt, what is it with nejiten and agent cop AUs? They’re so goddamn hot. This one is no exception.

6. Recess by NessieGG

— “Tenten gets stuck on desk duty, but it’s a kind she’s not used to. 'Neji, I’m not going to have a make out session with you in a broom closet.'”

Comment: One comment: hehehehHHEHEHEHEHEHE

7. Eggnog by iflip4dolphins

— “She had slept with her worst enemy, and now she was trying to remember what had happened.”

Comments: OH MY GOD, this fic has such a good writing style. And such a great composition too. I just love everything about this fic. More love for this fic please. i super love it. I REREAD IT ALL THE TIME. IT’S LIKE MY GO-TO FOR PERFECT NEJITEN CHARACTERIZATION AND FLUFF. You will too!

8. Tension by Interim

— “Tension mounts when Tenten finds a surprise in her shower.”

Comments: YES. HDFGIHILHGIH.

9. I Swear I’m not Drunk Officer by fanfictioner22

— “The title says it all.”

Comments: THIS WAS FUNNY OK. and it had that spicy tinge to it that makes u wanna go mmmmf. MOTHERFUCKER!!

10. Airless by NessieGG

— “This was not the type of assignment that Team Gai specialized in. 'There’s something else you should know about the Grass nin…'”

Comments: OH MY GOD, this fic is all sorts of special! The drama, the tension…. the best resolution ever. written impeccably by the ever-talented nessiegg too. god i love this fic. it rlly has it all. v captivating!

11. In Men’s Clothing by voidforrent

— “It wasn’t that Neji didn’t find Tenten’s breasts attractive; he was just trying to be respectful.”

Comments: Oooowee, I remember not liking this fic the first time i read it. but as i grew older i realized HOW FUCKING HOT THIS FIC ACTUALLY IS. I AM NOT EXAGGERATING. IT WILL MAKE YOU SWEAT!!

12. Racetrack to My Heart by Aquarius Galuxy

— “Ino takes Tenten to a blind date - except it’s not quite blind, and not quite what the latter expects.”

Comments: BRUH THIS FIC WAS HOT AND BRILLIANT. THAT’S ALL I HAVE TO SAY. NEJI AND TENTEN ARE SO FUNNY HERE. YOU WILL NOT REGRET THIS!!!

Tier 3: Autumn — Stories with pain, stories with substance. Stories that have something to say, making our hearts hurt, breaking them. Stories that are subtle, with some sort of comfort in the air. Bittersweet. A lot to take in. Stories that speak to the mind and soul. Stories with words and feelings as vivid as the warm colors of autumn, as the seasons prepare for the occurrence of death, and the winter to come.

tags: drama, hurt/comfort, romance, angst

1. Little Feet Working the Machine by pusa-is-me

— “There is a reason why Team Gai is not sent on seduction missions.”

Comments: This is, I think, the perfect fic to describe this tier. Painful and subtle. Plays with your feelings. Raw & powerful. Again, one of the first few things I ever read about nejiten. still think abt it from time to time.

2. Christmas, 1944 by Giada Luna

— “Not all of the War Efforts were 'Over There.’ Tenten comes home froma long shift at the factory to an empty home, Bing crooning on the radio, and dreams of a Christmas with him back home.”

Comments: sad sad sad. then happy happy happy. cries and smiles. LOVED IT.

3. 13 Unmentionables by pusa-is-me

— “This is not a love story. At least not yet.”

Comments: OH MY GOD. OH MY FUCKING GOD. THIS FIC…. IT BROKE MY HEART, IT TORE ME TO PIECES. SOMETHING ABT IT JUST MAKES ME FUCKING ACHE. MAKES MY HEART THROB. GODDAMN. SO MUCH PAIN. IT’S SO FUCKING RAW.

4. Mindless Perversions of Love and Life by voidforrent

— “There were times when she couldn’t help but wonder why.”

Comments: (we’ve won, but at what cost?) :(

5. Birds by Snowshinobi

— “Birds fill his lungs, his throat, but still, not one reaches his mouth.”

Comments: Okay, okay. Tbh i rlly don’t know how to categorize this fic. did it break my heart? did it make me squeal? but something in my heart told me to categorize it as autumn. pls have fun because this is beautiful.

6. Certain the Journey by NessieGG

— “He made her understand that, to him, her love was absolutely worthless.”

Comments: Omg :(((( okay but this was beautiful as well.

7. fragmented dreams by Seynee

— “She has loved everything about him that hurts.”

Comments: so fucking beautiful. almost perfect. loved it.

8. Stitch my heart back together again by SaturnXK

— “There is nothing I don’t love about you, Tenten,” Neji says softly. And Tenten wants to cry because it isn’t true. There are too many things wrong with her, and Neji is a liar.

Comments: OH MY GOD, this one attacked me right in the heart. it just… please just read it. it’s so pretty.

9. Mine for the Night by syaoran no hime

— “For this whole night, she will close her eyes and pretend that he is hers, his glacial heart and all. For tomorrow, she can never have the same liberty again.”

Comments: AHAHAHAH i remember reading because of this one. this author is just so og and so good :’)

10. Since Spring by NessieGG

— “Neji is driven to the brink of his sanity when his teammate disappears and is given an option. 'I can use a technique that will allow you to forget every memory you have of Tenten.'”

Comments: raw. powerful. ugh. a lot of feelings in this one, wrapped under beautifully written strings.

11. Those Old Feelings Again by Poisoned Scarlet

— “It wasn’t that they weren’t aware of their attraction for one another… it was just that one was good at burying it, and the other was too stubborn to admit it.”

Comments: :( and then :)

12. Bergeron Falls by Goldberry

— “It’s been five days since they’ve seen the sun and everything is water.”

Comments: oh, thank god i recommended a goldberry fic or else i’d never be able to forgive myself. yes this is very beautiful as always :)

13. Lotus by memory’s marionette

— “Even if I now saw you only once, I would long for you through worlds, worlds.“ Because one life is not enough for love, and the past forever bleeds into the future.

Comments: SUCHHHH a beautiful fic. oh my god. i almost want to highlight this and show it to the world because that’s just how good it is. reincarnation done and written perfectly. i love love love this fic~~~

14. Right Before His Eyes by NessieGG

— “There has been a change in Tenten that Neji does not understand. 'You’re leaving the team.'”

Comments: classic nessiegg :)

15. Falling Flight by Toboe Lonewolf

— “When Tenten falls, she falls hard. And right now, she’s falling hard…for him.”

Comments: OKAY, well honestly, I WAS SO EXCITED TO FINALLY RECOMMEND THIS. i know this isn’t drana/angst but it just felt right for me to recommend this under autumn. plsplspls enjoy!!

Tier 4: Winter — The end of the year, the end of an era. Bonds strengthened and broken. Friendships were made. Read as the branches of winter fill up with snow, trees of knowledge that have been through the seasons, preparing to die with everything they have with them. Stories about growing up. Stories about family. The beginning and the end. This is their outcome.

tags: family, hurt/comfort, angst, romance, friendship, fluff. basically all the tags. if you’d notice they’re all growing up fics with exceptions to some but i think you’ll understand :) this tier is more assorted but the feels speak the same

1. She Was There by Ally1313

— “She was there. She was always there.”

Comments: I don’t know why, but something about this fic always makes me want to cry. It has a very special place in my heart. I first read this when I was 12, and I loved it so goddamn much. THIS FIC, IT CHANGED MY LIFE. IT INSPIRED ME TO LOVE NEJITEN MORE THAN EVER. SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE ENJOY IT!! OH GOD I LOVE IT SO MUCH. WHAT A GREAT WAY TO START OFF WINTER.

2. Chichue by keroRiBBIT

— "I’m nervous,” Neji said. Hizashi smiled at him, “There’s nothing to be nervous about.” “You said that before too.” “Have I ever been wrong?” Neji growing up in Hizashi’s care.

Comments: OH HIZASHI. THIS FIC IS THE CUTEST GODDAMN THING I HAVE EVER READ. LOVE ITTTTT

3. coda in d minor by metaphorically-blue

— “She doesn’t look like her father. /And children can’t recognize grief./”

Comments: this fic has been recommended to be by someone on tumblr before. needless to say, it broke my heart. a short angst break :’)

4. Fate by Silverlight

— “The first date, the first kiss, the first time he asked her to marry him.”

Comments: cute cute cute cute!!

5. 20truths: Neji and Tenten by Cyberwolf

— “The longest conversation the two have in school is when Tenten explains the advantage of titanium shurikens over plain steel ones to Neji, then wishes him luck in the target range.”

Comments: Of course, this winter growing-up-fic collection wouldn’t be complete without a 20truths!!

6. Only You by Byakuxhisa4eva

— “There are very few things he would ever deny her.“ Even at his cruelest, he had always been kind to her.”

Comments: okay, now this one is a classic :)

7. Shadows of the sun by withered

— “Death changes nothing, even when Neji is gone; Tenten is still trying to reach him.”

Comments: another short but necessary angst break :’)

8. A Series of Indecent Proposals by Pleasantries and the Aftermath

— “The first time he kissed her, she slapped him so hard, she left a welt.”

Comments: very very cute. they are just so. goddamn cute. very well written and nice characterization.

9. Drifting by Ariel32

— “They were drifting down a river, and the only thing that mattered was that they were driting together. You can’t help being in love.”

Comments: AAAAAAAAAAAAA this was so pretty!!!

10. Twenty Truths About Team Guy by RennaV

— “Twenty Truths about Team Guy the rest of Konoha doesn’t know. Mostly comedy and focusing on the relationships of the members of Team Guy. It does end kind of sadly. Sorry.”

Comments: OK THIS IS A BIG ONE. A BIGBIGBIG ONE. I REMEMBER reading this and wailing like a little baby. i really cried a lot. this one built up my heart and shattered it to pieces. beautiful.

11. Soul-Marks by fanfictioner22

— “The soulmate!AU Nejiten style.”

Comments: this one was so clever and thoughtful. so goddamn funny and full of substance. LOVED IT.

12. Irresistible by MyFallenAngel

— “The fact that Hyuuga Neji was irresistibly irresistible was undeniable.”

Comments: This was one of the fics I read earlier on, and it was SO CUTE. Everything was just so pure, so undeniably Nejiten. Please, give it a read!

13. Papercranes by Bloody Angels

— “The paper cranes have always been a part of her life and perhaps, they always will be.”

Comments: CAN YOU HEAR IT???!? MY HEART ROSE AND FELL. SO PRETTY. SO BEAUTIFUL!! broke it too. cried like a little bitch.

14. Blind by Midnight Insomniac

— “She is sixteen and in love.”

Comments: HNNNGGG THIS ONE RLLY STRUCK A CHORD IN MY HEART. THIS ONE ALWAYS STANDS OUT TO ME FOR SOME REASON. LOVE IT!!

15. Chance Encounters by Scintazzle

— “That humiliating moment where Tenten grabs the shoulder of a person who she thinks she knows, turns him around, and doesn’t recognize him. At all. And things just go downhill from there.”

Comments: CUTECUTECUTECUTE AAAAA

16. Severing Ties by fanfictioner22

— “Some ties are better severed and Tenten learns it the hard way.”

Comments: angst breakkkkk but it was v beautiful :’)

17. Truth Be Told by MistressofSarcasm

— “Hyuuga Neji falls for Tenten the day she almost broke his nose. Tenten doesn’t think of Hyuuga Neji as boyfriend material until an hour before he confesses.”

Comments: I REMEMBER THIS ONE. IT WAS SO CUTE. I LOVED NEJI AND TENTEN IN THIS. ONE OF MY PERSONAL FAVS :)

18. The Seasons by sotto.voce88

— “Love was never seasonal.”

Comments: v beautiful :)

19. Patchwork by NessieGG

— “When she thought he was sleeping, he saw her get scissors and snip off a section of the yellow sheet beneath their intertwined bodies.”

Comments: I remember always avoiding this fic no matter how much times it popped up on my feed. I remember it was because I was very scared of how heavy this fic would be. I was right. It’s too beautiful for words. I CRIED AGAIN. JESUS I RLLY CRIED WITH THIS ONE. Just really the perfect way to end this tier, please read Patchwork!! (classic nessiegg, always beautiful :(()

Okay, now that concludes my oneshots recommendations!! I get to breathe a little now :)) please read all of them. they really are the best of the best. Now moving on…

THE KONOHA INTERLUDE: OUTSIDE LOOKING IN

nejiten oneshots/ficlets written in the perspective of the konoha 13!! pls enjoy these for they are genius :)

1. The Lost Things by pusa-is-me

— “Where Shikamaru realizes that the Hyuuga Neji does know how to get jealous, and that for all her intelligence, Tenten was pretty oblivious.”

Comments: A little ShikaTen is always cute for me. I love shikamaru and love it when he appears in nejiten fanfictions because he of all people know how oblivious those two are to one another :))

2. No Competition Here by carved in the sand

— “You think your man has anything on mine?”

Comments: Pure crack-ish fluff and humor

3. Replacements by 716799

— “Nothing is ever as good as the real thing. (One day, she will ask him to henge.)”

Comments: o noessss…. but also AN ABSOLUTE MUST-READ. THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE NEJITEN FICS OF ALL TIME. i LOVE THIS SO GODDAMN MUCH AND IT’S BEAUTIFUL AS FUCK NOT TO MENTION GENIUS!!

4. Exchange by Wielder of Paperclips

— “In a short exchange of words, Shikamaru enlightens Tenten. “

Comments: ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAVORITES. GOD I THINK ABOUT THIS FIC EVERY DAY. THE DIALOGUE IS SO CUTE AND SHIKA IS THE BEST!!

5. Princess by insert cliche

— “One of the biggest reasons why Uchiha Sasuke hates Hyuuga Neji is also the most unknown.”

Comments: vv cute!! a stoke of genius

6. Bad Dog, No Biscuit by Lotos-Eater

— “Or, Inuzuka Kiba’s Even Longer Day. Kiba is not quite the player he thinks he is. Will there be anyone to appreciate his animal magnetism and rugged charm?”

Comments: KIBA IS A GENIUS. I REALLY REALLY LIKE HIM AND I THINK THAT HE WAS WRITTEN REALLY WELL IN THIS FIC. PLS READ THIS ONE IT’S HILARIOUS.

7. Inner Light by NessieGG

— “She had heard the rumors. But she had never gone so far as to assume that they might be true.”

Comments: OMG. THIS WAS BEAUTIFUL. I really just like anything to do with Sakura. She’s so ugh here you really really feel her. Beautifulll

8. Sempiternal by saccharinely

— “In which she sends the letters left unsent. She needs closure. He gives it to her.”

Comments: A really beautiful SasuTen fic. Somehow it should be triggering but it all makes sense to me :)

HALL OF FAME: FICLETS

a.k.a.: stories that are too long to be oneshots but are too short to be actual fanfics. usually around 2-3 chapters but wouldn’t have been done any better :))

1. On Sex by Lotos-Eater

— “With titles like this, who needs summaries?”

Comments: Really, it seems shallow, but it’s truly one of the best-written, most beautiful and introspective things I have ever read. it really grew on me and I love it so goddamn much!! IM SERIOUS I RLLY LOVE THIS ONE ITS ONE OF MY GO-TOs

2. Goldilocks by a Different Name by Aquarius Galixy

— “Tenten discovers that someone has been living in her apartment when she goes away on long missions.”

Comments: vv cute fic with very witty dialogue :) neji is cute

3. Call Your Manager by Clementive

— “Tenten’s feelings for her English project partner are as complicated as his coffee order.”

Comments: another really cute fic. Tenten is a legend!!

4. Heatwave by Yahboohbeh

— “When she found her breath again it was ragged. Only one thought tore through her mind: Consume me. The Suna sun wasn’t the only reason their faces burned.”

Comments: very very hot n spicy like the title and caption suggesttttS

5. Perchance by KNO

— "Wow, what are the odds we’re both at the same party AGAIN?”

Comments: ONE OF MY FAVORITE NEJITEN FICS OF ALL TIME. i love this one so much. so witty and smart, especially all the expressions and dialogue. Super cute too!!

6. Four Conversations on the Subject of Flight by wildcatt

— “Flying is not as perfect as you imagine it to be, you know. Flying is just falling up.”

Comments: So fucking affecting all the time, I sweat. For some reason I always remember this fic when i think of nejiten :0 PLSPLS READ THIS ONE!!

7. Confessions by Cyberwolf

— “Tenten is trying to tell Neji something. He’s not quite getting it.”

Comments: THIS ONE WAS VERY VERY FUNNY AND CUTE. I LOVE ANYTHING WITH THE KONOHA 13. BRILLIANT!!

8. The Only Alliance by notesonlife

— “A black leather bound sketchbook binds her to him, and breaks her against him.”

Comments: THIS ONE WAS BEAUTIFUL. TRULY A HALL OF FAMER. SO MUCH SUBSTANCE AND ALWAYS STICKS WITH YOU. WRITTEN VERY PRETTILY. PLS READ!!!!!!!!

HALL OF FAME: ONE-SHOT COLLECTIONS

a recommendation panel of the best one-shot collections you will ever find on the site!! as if a single one-shot was enough… :”)

1. Vicissitude by KNO

— “A collection of drabbles and one shots. Neji and TenTen pairing. Contains regular appearances of other characters.”

Comments: THIS. THIS IS PROBABLY MY FAVORITE. EVERY frickn oneshot in here is a gem and i treasure all of them in my heart. genius, too. In here stems a lot of my favorite nejiten oneshots ever. PLEASE GIVE IT A TRY!!

2. The Path to Ashes by notesonlife

— “Neji says it’s their fate. Tenten shows him nothing is secure like that. NejiTen. 017: Naruto’s smirk reached ear to ear. “Next, whoever both gets twelve will kiss.”

3. One shots: Neji and Tenten by I-Heart-Hatake-Kakashi

— “100 Nejiten oneshots. Chapter 100 - Happy Birthday Neji!”

Comments: okay, when in your entire life do you get to say: “I WROTE 100 ONESHOTS FOR NEJITEN” ever???!?!? well, this author can! they actually wrote 100 nejiten oneshots and all of them were so unique and affecting and had this certain continuity to it that left me in tears when I finished.

4. Shades of Konoha: Dragon and Phoenix by Giada Luna

— “Series of oneshots featuring Neji and Tenten. Chapter 32: NejiTen Month 2019: Body/Cursed * They tell him he is born to bound - and he believes them.”

Comments: I have only recently discovered this collection and have been loving it so far. Props to Giada Luna for all the times I smiled bc of these!!

6. Right, Wrong and What Falls Between by Aquarius Galuxy

— “What is, what was, what may have been. (Part 34: Three feet away, Neji continues to read his papers, as if ignorant of what she’s doing.)”

Comments: ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAVORITES. God I really love these. There are some real gems in this collection. Genius fics. PLEASE READ THIS ALONG WITH POSTCARDS. THEY ARE BOTH QUITE GENIUS.

7. Untouched by MakeYouSmile

— “Why are you doing this to me?“ Tenten asked quietly. Neji did not give her the pleasure of responding. "After all that’s happened, you’re still standing in the same place.” –A collection of Neji/Tenten shorts.

Comments: A lot of beautifully written Romance/Angst on this one. Really heavy n affecting!!

8. Perks and Pains by keroRiBBIT

— “There are pros and cons in every situation. Most of the time, one just outweighs the other. Ch. 3: A lover with such long hair. Perks: It comes in handy when you desperately want to hold on to something. Pains: It tends to get messy in the morning.”

Comments: SHORT BUT GENIUS. THIS SHIT WAS FUCKING HILARIOUS, TAKE MY WORD ON THIS. THE FIRST CHAPTER ALREADY HAD ME HOOKED. SERIOUSLY IT’S HILARIOUS AND GENIUS AND AURGHHH PLS JUST GO READ IT!!!

9. Careless Whispering by misspandalily

— “17: Neji, Tenten and Lee are fairies who run a catering business together. Mostly AU oneshots.”

Comments: VERY CUTE FIC COLLECTION by one of my closest nt authors!! pls give it a try!!

10. Lotus Blossoms and Other Musings by Yahboohbeh

— “Collection of one-shots. Part 28: Her eyes were nothing like his.”

Comments: Very sweet collection :))

HALL OF FAME: MULTICHAPTERED

okay, okay, i gotta admit, i’m not particularly the strongest in this department. yes, I am quite knowledgeable on nejiten one-shots, but unfortunately i have not read a lot of the longer ones. but the ones here… they’re really good. so with those words, i hope and trust that you will enjoy these :)

1. Manager and Other Side Jobs by Scintazzle

— “Accepting the shady job offer wasn’t really one of her best choices…but discovering she threw up on her future boss was even worse. Tenten’s new relationship brings a whole new meaning to complete and utter servitude.”

Comments: THIS FIC. I have so much feelings with this fic. Scintazzle’s writing is one of the few that I can actually follow through. Very interesting plot and a lot of sexual tension. !!!

2. Eyes Like Pale Thistle by Aquarius Galuxy

— “She crawled beneath his skin and questioned the way he saw life. Perhaps all he’d wanted, really, was a little bit of control.”

Comments: I REALLY REALLY LOVE THIS ONE. Was super hot but had a lot of substance and a lot to say. Had moments of brilliance that I really appreciate!

3. Neji Gaiden by Levi Ackerman

— “Inspired by recent omake - if Neji wants a gaiden, Neji will get a gaiden! This story chronicles Neji’s life with his team starting from their graduation from the Academy. Follows canon with extra details.”

Comments: NEJI GAIDEN! HOLY HOLY SHIT PLEASE READ THIS ONE. DEFINITELY A MUST-READ. Since it follows canon it really gives it more points because IT GETS NEJI AND TENTEN’S CHARACTERIZATION REALLY ON POINT. AND EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE WHICH IS SUPER CUTE. PLEASE OH GOD READ THIS ONE. IT’S QUITE GENIUS AND IS VERY WELL WRITTEN. the author really knows the characters she’s writing about and UGHHH JUST PLEASE. It’s a shame it isn’t finished tho, but otherwise IT’S WORTH IT!!

4. like paper dolls and little notes by Seynee

— ”It’s not that Tenten hates flying. In fact, she kind of likes it. Especially when she gets free cocktails. Especially when she’s sitting next to a handsome stranger. Especially when she gets to talk to him. This is going to be good.”

Comments: nawwww this one was a classic. really hesitant to finish this before but the ending is totally worth it. made me cryy :”)

5. The Fat and Pretty of Art School by Paper Lanterns and Yoghurt

— “We’ll laugh and we’ll sing (poorly) but whatever happens we’re in it together babe.”

Comments: OMG. I LOVE THIS ONE SO MUCH. BASICALLY THE ULTIMATE HEADCANON TO THE NEJITEN HIJINKS. It’s super super cute and the characters are really on-point. had some really funny and endearing moments too. love Tenten’s friendship with shika and sasuke here. SUPER COOL YOU FEEL LIKE A COOL KID WHILE READING THIS.

6. Rapunzel by wildcatt

— “And she leads the blind prince home.”

Comments: It is quite short, but it is REALLY REALLY BEAUTIFUL. I WAS SOBBING, COMPLETELY IN TEARS during mass as I read this fic. Everything is written with so much heart and pain. pls give this one a try.

6. Complexities of Blackmail by Aquarius Galuxy

— “[Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power.] Lieutenant Tenten finds herself caught in a web of blackmail when Lt Hyuuga Neji stumbles upon her doing what she shouldn’t have been. Mere rivalry between old teammates turns into something deeper, much to Tenten’s horror and bewilderment.”

Comments: Ohhhh, blackmail, blackmail, blackmail. Of course. This is the god of all nejiten fics. It’s so fucking beautiful. Every time I go back to this in every chapter is just something so beautiful and bewildering it warms my heart. DEFINITELY A MUST-READ. Blackmail just sticks. Left me as a sobbing mess at the end. Very raw and very powerful.

7. Crossing the Middle Line by Scintazzle

— “You know you’re screwed when your ex-girlfriend becomes your new secretary…and you’re falling in love with her all over again.”

Comments: OH MY GOd this FIC THIS FUCKING FIC. very hot. sweet n spicy. short and cute. quite hilarious at times. loved it!!

8. Right Kind of Wrong by Nokito-chan

— “She yanked him out of his comfort zone. He made her want things she tried to guard against. Somewhere in the middle … hell broke loose.”

Comments: OMG. THIS FIC WAS EVERYTHING. super hot as well and was a really fun time. tenten’s bond with konohamaru was really sweet :)

9. The Twelve Days of Christmas by Giada Luna

— A quirk of fate turns Tenten into a modern day Snow White and tosses her into the lives of the Huyga-Uzumaki family right at Christmas. However, she has her own problems, and not time for 'Prince Not-So-Charming’ or anything else to get in her way.”

Comments: a very cute and light read that is perfect for the seasons! giada is such a talented writer; her words flow and make sense. everything is as it should be :)

10. Scars and Stitches by pusa-is-me

— “A love triangle of Gai-stronomic proportions.”

Comments: THIS. THIS. I hate this fic. I love it to death. So much conflicting emotions here, but left me at tears as always. Really just one of the best nejiten fics i’ve ever read out there, and the perfect last recommendation. I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. WHAT A WAY TO END THIS CHAPTER

CLOSING REMARKS

So that concludes my masterlist! What do you think? It was a long-term project I started in march? and have finally finished in time for the holidays!

I’m 100% sure that there are some brilliant fics I missed along the way, and I apologise if I haven’t added them. Please give me more recommendations so I may add them. And Please treasure all these fics as I have.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas! I hope these keep you covered for the rest of your breaks :)

Pls also check out the authors here on tumblr for they are still active :)

AUTHOR TAG:

@iridescentirises @aquariusgaluxy @misspandalily @giada-luna @fanfictioner22 @zealousheart

#nejiten #nejixtenten #tentenxneji #neji #hyuga #tenten #neji tenten #I SPENT SO MUCH TIME THINKING ABOUT THESE

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mean-scarlet-deceiver · 4 years

Text

have gone further down the Co-Bo history rabbithole, must correct some things about prior report

First, general bitching:

* I am super grateful for this passionate and knowledgeable website... but, if they could leave off referring to the Metrovick Co-Bos as “ugly” and “less than attractive” and “awkward” and “that cool paint job was just wasted on a member of this class” and similar potshots, well! that would be, just... lovely.

* Elaborating on the above... due, apparently, to the issues they have with its aesthetics, the restorationists who are taking care of D5705 have nicknamed it “Object.” (!?!?)

Now, corrections to prior post/fic adventure:

* D5705 is not currently at work on the Eastern Lancashire Railway, nor can I find any evidence that it did in the past. East Lanc has partnered with its private owners and other diesel preservationist groups to undertake 5705′s restoration work... but it’s possible that it’s still been static/in storage since 1986. (There are progress reports on restoration work, but I get unfortunate Ben Adler vibes.)

* The 28s began multiple-uniting the Condor Express, but the railway had lost so many orders to the roadway that somewhere between 1958 and far before the 28s were kicked off the job in 1961 the train grew short enough that it required only a single locomotive. So, my headcanon about the paired brothers... eep.

* I gave the impression that the 28s were freight-only prior to their overhaul in ‘61 and passenger-only afterwards. This is incorrect... that was the general but hardly exclusive thrust of their assignments in those periods.

* Also, in my ficlet I portray the 28s as being pulled straight from their Condor assignment back to the workshop in Barrow. This is incorrect. Only 2 of them were still in service by 1961, with the other 18 having fallen out of service and spent the time in storage while British Railways and Metropolitan-Vickers fought about who was to pay for the cost of their refurbishment. Also, between the 28s (save for the final 2) and the Derby-Sulzer diesels, the Condor was in the interim charge of a roster of steam engines, who were noted to easily outperform the 28s who had been designed to replace them.

As an apology for the misinformation... new pic!

Pair of Metrovicks on a Condor test run. (The leading coach is actually a dynamometer carriage, which is taking measurements of speed and other performance indicators. Holy crap, now I think about it, I wonder if engines are subject to "test-taking anxiety.” I sure as hell would be!)

Juicy updates to the prior post:

* The Co-Bo 28′s were originally supposed to have a much heavier roster than just the Condor Express, with daytime as well as nighttime assignments, notably with significant overnight/sleeper passenger work while stranded on the Scottish end of their run. Due to their infamous motor problems, the engineers soon gave up doing anything but trying desperately to keep the Co-Bos fit for the Condor, and much of the rest of their prospective work was given away.

* Motor problems and spontaneously shattering windshields were the biggest but not the only ongoing issue. For example, insufficient braking power leading to overrun signals and derailment (!)... “fireballs shooting from the exhaust port” (!!)... and the locos sheering straight off of their mounting bolts (!!!)

* When one of the 28s failed on the Condor (not uncommon) or couldn’t even get started (also not uncommon), their replacements were often Black Fives. Co-Bos and Black Fives also have a history of teaming up to double-head the St. Pancras to Manchester Central passenger express! (Oh my this is sooooooo relevant for ttte purposes... *starts vibrating at invisible frequencies*)

* *vibration intensifies* I don’t even know where to begin, so I’ll just screenshot this without comment:

#TOO MUCH DIESEL FOR A MIDLAND MAN TO HANDLE #... yeah okay fine. looks like i couldn't resist commenting after all.#but seriously i want that driver to go with BoCo to Sodor now pls <3 #ttte boco #n.w.r. drivers still angels thank you for asking #real true railway stuff #ttte analysis #ttte plot inspiration

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gettin-bi-bi-bi · 4 years

Note

ok this might sound very dumb and immature but I'm out to 3 of my friends and when i talk to my bff(one of them) about being gay and make related jokes she takes it in such a good spirit and acts completely normal like heterosexuality is treated and it's sooooooo amazing

But the other two act very different, when i text them similar things they reply in a very dry way and i feel like I'm shoving my sexuality in there faces and i don't feel like saying these things to them anymore; even with crushes when i had boy crushes they acted like normal friends do but now with a girl crush, my bff is just so normal but the other two haven't been the same as before

and like both of them are huge allies and stuff( they aren't homophobic at all)but i just hate myself when they act in such a dry way

am i wrong to except a certain type of reaction from them?? maybe im forcing them to do smthing somehow?? am i being too 'gay' and I'm relatively new to all this and I'm very excited and very paranoid at the same time

but this has me thinking if i should ever come out again to my other friends( i want to do it in person is the only reason i haven't told them) and i feel like they'll act in a similar way and they are way too important for me for receiving that kind of behaviour and my already increased self hate will just increase even more

same anon

I'd rather stay in closet than ruin my relationship with them

You say your friends aren’t homophobic and I am willing to believe they don’t say anything that’s outright homophobic. However, it’s very likely that their behaviour can be explained by the fact that they have been brought up in a homophobic society and they do hold some of those believes, whether they want it or not. Even when they don’t say derogatory things and aren’t aggressively homophobic, they are still capable of behaving in a way that is shaped by homophobia because they were socialised in a world where casual homophobia and heteronormativity is accepted and “normal”.

They react to your girl crush differently (compared to a boy crush) because, at least subconsciously, they have been taught that it’s weird, strange, different. If you were to ask them directly they might never say anything bad. They might genuinely not mean anything bad. And in a way it is more important that they don’t *do* bigoted things (as opposed to not *thinking* bigoted things - we all have bad thoughts sometimes but they don’t make us bad people). It might sound stupid but they probably literally don’t have a script of what to say when you talk about girls. We are taught so early on how girls are supposed to be curshing on boys and how groups of girls will all have a crush on the same boy in class and talk about it. TV, media, school, our families.... they all teach us what to say when someone has a crush - but those “scripts” are all about girls crushing on boys (and vice versa). The scrips for same-gender crushes are vastly different, generally more dismissive - if they even exist at all.

You are not overreacting though by recognising that they seem to be acting with a double standard. And I think, if you want to salvage these friendships, you could talk to them and say something like “I feel a bit weird bringing up my girl crushes because of how you reacted in the past. I wish you’d be a bit more supportive or excited for me. After all, I’m still in the process of discovering and accepting my sexuality and it would really help to know you have my back.”

If they don’t understand what you are talking about, maybe think of an example. “When I had a crush on [boy] you were very excited for me and reacted by [insert thing they said/did]. But when I told you about [girl] your reaction felt very cold and not like you were happy for me. I believe you didn’t do that consciously but for the future I’d wish you would not react differently depending on the person’s gender and just be excited for me no matter what gender I have a crush on.” Maybe they genuinely didn’t realise that they behaved differently. Of course that doesn’t change the fact that you are very worried about it right now but from where I’m standing this all reads more like your friends being stuck in a heteronormative thinking and not knowing how to react.

Either way: you are not shoving your sexuality in their face and you’re not “too gay” or anything. That’s bollocks! You should be able to be as out and proud as you want to be towards your friends. Talking about crushes is a very normal thing that friends do and it should not be different if the crush is on someone of your own gender. Even conversations about sex are a thing that a lot of friends have; sure it’s not everyone’s cup of tea to talk about that but a lot of people do. And if your friends are okay talking about sex they have with their different-gender partners then they should also be okay if you want to talk about sex you have with someone of the same gender. Just like your straight friends aren’t shoving their heterosexuality into your face when you have normal friendship conversations about sex and relationships, you aren’t shoving your queerness in their faces.

Some people need some time to get over it tbh and to unlearn that deeply ingrained socialised homophobia. And some people never get over it. If they keep being weird about it then they might just not be the kind of people you will be having these personal conversations with in the future. Sucks but unfortunately part of coming out is sometimes that old friendships fall apart. Some of your straight friends will stick and be genuinely supportive, others will fall by the wayside. Not because everyone is aggressively homophobic but because you being openly queer kinds shifts your perspective on things and it can make it difficult to relate to heteronormative mindsets. But that’s a good thing. And there will be other people (both other queers and straights who are chill) whom you can talk to who won’t make you feel weird for talking about being queer.

Maddie

#Anonymous

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bakugou-tm · 5 years

Text

Suit and Tie (Bakugou x Reader SongFic)

Inspired by Suit and Tie by Justin Timberlake & JAY Z (listen to before or while you read for better enjoyment!)

So I originally wrote and posted this as a Karma x Reader fic on my Quotev but then I realized the rivalry Karma and Asano have is kinda similar to Bakugou and Monoma so I switched a few things around and now there’s this soOoOOoo hope you enjoy ;)

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The night of the school dance. Tonight was supposed to be magical.

You had spent all day with your friends getting your hair and nails done at a fancy salon. You picked out a stunning dress months before the long awaited date. Everything was ready to go from head to toes, except for the person who was going to make your night special.

It wasn't that you didn't have a date, you had a staggering boyfriend who you've been dating all year now. The infamous ash blond who was otherwise known as, Katsuki Bakugou. The only problem was your relationship was practically banned from the school.

Technically the two of you treated your relationship as a secret, but it was no secret to the school. Everybody knew you couldn't keep your hands off each other, especially the boy who wanted you two apart the most. Neito Monoma.

Not only had he forbid you from dating the tempered boy because you were in Class 3-B and he didn't want his 'A Classness' to rub off on you, he also was totally against it because he too had feelings for you. How could he not?

You were like an angel sent from heaven. From those stunning crystal eyes, to your silk like skin, to those perfectly plump lips that revealed that jaw dropping smile of yours. You were always kind to everybody, and you stood up for those who couldn't stand up for themselves. You were an angel sent from heaven, and nobody on this world deserved you according to Monoma.

Especially Katsuki Bakugou.

Of course you and Bakugou came to an agreement to just ignore the uptight boy and spend the night with each other, but due to Monoma’s constant pressure to the UA Staff, he was able to annoy convince them to arrange that the A Class sit at their own table in the across the gym while the B Class students had their own reserved tables on the other side.

Your seat unfortunately was placed next to Monoma’s, any attempt to move to the A Class table would result in Monoma making a huge scene which certainly couldn’t happen for the sake of the school dance.

So as your car arrived to the front gates of your school you let a disappointed sigh escape your lips. Your father was well aware of your situation, the past few days have only been a drag of you dreading this event especially after you gave him an hour long rant about the power hungry Monoma.

"I know it's a bummer you can't spend time with your boyfriend but you have to make the best out of it sweetheart.." Your father said softly, looking at you through the rearview mirror. Your (e/c) eyes glanced up to his sadly, a small bit of hope filling up inside you when you saw the thoughtfulness in his eyes, "Spend this night with your friends, you can always see him tomorrow after the dance."

Biting at your lower lip you felt a small smile tug at your lips as you nodded to him, "Y..You're right dad, thanks for the pep talk!"

Your father simply smiled, grabbing your wrist and placing a warm kiss on it before waving you goodbye as you exited the car.

He was right, you could spend a night without Bakugou right? You've done it before! It's just those nights weren't romantic dances that happen only once a year... but you just had to push it aside! You were not about to let your night be ruined by that uptight jerk. Tonight you are going to have fun with your friends.

Pushing forwards you walked with pep in your step down the long walkway to the school's doors. A few people were walking in besides you as the dance started five minutes ago. You were aware of all the eyes on you but you didn't mind at all, being the school's idol practically you were used to this sort of thing.

Honestly you knew how good you looked, and it felt amazing. The dress that adorned your skin was picked out along side your mother, the (f/c) fabric hugging at your curves just right. The dress was a one long sleeve style with flowers that accented the top and bottom of the dress. Your (f/c) nails played with the loose locks of hair that were pinned up in a delicate side bun as you carefully walked up the steps in your heels.

Tonight you felt beautiful, and you knew you looked beautiful. You'd be damned if your night was ruined by some stupid boy.

Just as you were about to push through the doors your actions were stopped when a hand grabbed your arm and yanked you to the side behind one of the large pillars of the entrance. Letting out a small shriek your eyes widened until you were met with mischievous vermillion eyes.

Letting out a small sigh of relief, your lips slowly curved into a smile as you trailed your hands around his waist and pulled him into a hug.

"Funny even in fucking heels you're barely as tall as me.”

In an instant your head whipped up to meet his own, your lips pinching together into that adorable pout he loved so much. "It's not my fault you're like a hundred feet tall you ape!"

Bakugou raised a brow at this, his lips curving into a smirk as he pulled away from your embrace, "Ape huh? That's a new one, Not too shitty though... it sounds rather kinky."

Now along with your pout your cheeks began to flush. The ash blond enjoyed the way you averted your gaze, clearly embarrassed as you always were with his quick quips. It was in this moment he was able to recognize your full beauty in the stunning outfit of yours. From the flowers, to the hair, just everything about it fit you so well.

"You know, you look pretty hot flower girl." Bakugou muttered, his hand suddenly cupping your chin and gently moving it up to face his own.

At his sudden compliment your cheeks began to warm once again, but this time instead of embarrassment you felt butterflies rush through your body as a warm smile danced across your lips.

"You don't look too bad yourself, you stud." You spoke softly, your eyes looking him up and down playfully as a chuckle escaped his lips, his arms bringing you back up against him as your faces neared.

"There's no need to compliment me princess," Bakugou purred against your lips, your body going into a drunken state just begging to smash your lips against his own, "I already know I look damn good."

All it took was one mere centimeter before the two of you shared a sweet kiss for the night, but even that was ruined when you heard a curt cough from beside the two of you. Quickly you jerked away, much to Bakugou’s disappointment, to see Monoma standing there with his arms folded. The glare in his powder blue eyes only intensified once they fell on the ash blond in front of you who glared just as intensely.

"Your classmates are waiting on you (L/n)." Monoma spoke cooly, your gaze lowering once his eyes flicked toward your own.

Seeing Monoma hold out his elbow as a gesture for you to take, you let out a sigh before wrapping your arm around his elbow, "I apologize for holding you guys up Monoma-kun."

The blond haired boy gave one last final glare to the fuming boy beside him before leading you towards the doors to the school.

------------------------

For hours you tried so hard to be optimistic. Just like your father said, you tried to hang out with your friends from the other classes but Monoma insisted you stay with him or your own classmates.

It wasn't that you didn't like your own classmates, it's just most of them tended to be uptight brats, the ones that weren’t were all hanging out with the other classes which you sadly couldn’t join. So you spent a remainder of the night in a chair, watching as all the other classes had fun on the dance floor.

Monoma offered to dance with you, but you refused for many reasons which you both were aware of.

"(L/n)-san, I'm heading to the punch table to get a drink and some snacks, would you like me to grab you anything?"

Raising your head up to the blond haired boy before you, your eyes moved back to the floor as you shook your head silently. With slight hesitation and an annoyed sigh, Monoma left you to yourself to go to the table. At least you knew you had a few minutes to himself while his minions flocked to the snobby boy. What a night this turned out to be for you...

Meanwhile, a particular ash blond was fuming on the other side of the gym. Even from the other side of gym Bakugou had a perfect view of you, and between you looking clearly unhappy and that blond haired prick not leaving you the hell alone, Bakugou was far from a good mood.

"Bro, you know (L/n) would never go to Monoma..." Kirishima said reassuringly beside him, the class aware to his obvious hatred towards the boy.

They each tried to cheer him up in their own ways, Midoriya even agreeing to let Bakugou harass him during the night, but it was no use. His gaze never left your form all night long.

"I don't think she's going to leave me for that shitty prick, but seeing her unhappy is pissing me off." Bakugou growled darkly, watching as he stood before you probably asking you to dance yet again.

Kirishima watched as well as Monoma began to walk away from you towards the punch table. Based on the amount of people that came to him, he assumed that the blond haired boy would be preoccupied for awhile. Or at least long enough for Bakugou to snatch you up before Monoma could say no.

"Maybe you should offer her a dance now?" Kirishima suggested, quickly opening his mouth before Bakugou could rebuttal the same excuse he said before, "I know you and (L/n) aren't supposed to be with each other but if you're both dancing in front of the entire school, there's no way Monoma would be able to make a scene without ruining his reputation."

Bakugou’s annoyed glare suddenly vanished at those words, his eyes glancing at your form before looking back to Kirishima. Smirk curling on his smooth lips, Bakugou stood up and shoved the redhead’s shoulder.

"That idea wasn’t half bad shitty hair."

------------------------

I be on my suit and tie shit, tie shit, tie I be on my suit and tie shit, tie shit Can I show you a few things?

The slow start to the song had you humming, recognizing the song as people began to get up and dance to the apparently requested song from a student. At least if you had to sit here all night you had good music to listen to right?

Lifting up the plastic cup from the table you took a small sip out of it before placing it down and turning back to the dance floor only to be met with a pair of legs.

Blinking owlishly you slowly looked up to see your boyfriend grinning down to you with his hand extended.

Quickly glancing back to the punch table to see Monoma occupied with people, you turned back to Bakugou with a worried expression, "K..Katsuki-kun I can't, if Monoma sees us..."

"When that bastard sees us it'll be too late," Bakugou cut off with a confident smirk as he re-offered his hand to you, "Do you trust me (S/o)?"

Biting at your lip nervously you quickly inhaled before placing your palm in his large calloused one, allowing him to tug you up onto your feet and lead you to the middle dance floor.

Wait a minute, you ready, JT?

Your eyes widened slightly when Bakugou mouthed those words to the song with a goofy grin causing you to burst into giggled before he tugged you up against him, dancing along to the quick beat.

I can't wait 'til I get you on the floor, good-looking Going out so hot, just like an oven And I'll burn myself, but just had to touch it It's so fly and it's all mine, hey baby...

For a moment you were fairly shocked as Bakugou led you around the dance floor. You knew he was quick on his feet, a very agile fighter at that, but the way he moved with you was almost as if dancing was his second language.

Even with the quick beat of the song he simply carried you with it, all while his vermillion eyes remained on your own.

A small squeak left your lips when he dipped you down as the singer let out the long vowel before he whipped you back to him whispering, "It's all mine," along with the song.

You felt a slight blush reach your cheeks as you smiled bashfully, but it wasn't long before he carried away with his dancing once more.

And we don't mind all the watching, hi 'Cause if they study close, real close, they might learn something She ain't nothing but a little doozy when she does it She's so fly tonight

At this point it was painfully aware of the large group of eyes that were on the two of you, even the dancers around you gave the two of you some space forming almost a circle around the two of you.

Honestly you weren't sure if it was because you the Class B idol was dancing with the Class A hothead, or if it was because of the remarkable way you and Bakugou moved across the dance floor. You didn't even need to practice the dance before hand, the two of you were so incredibly in sync it was almost mesmerizing.

Bakugou didn't mind the new sets of eyes on the two of you, in fact he secretly loved it. You were exactly where you belonged and he was going to make sure the whole damn world knew who you belonged to, and who he belonged to.

And as long as I've got my suit and tie I'ma leave it all on the floor tonight And you got fixed up to the nines Let me show you a few things

All pressed up in black and white And you're dressed in that dress I like Love is swinging in the air tonight Let me show you a few things

It was clear Bakugou was not only trying to make a statement to the crowd, but a statement to you. The way he whipped you around so intensely yet delicately had you completely entranced with him. Slowly began to shut out the rest of the world until it was just you, Bakugou, and the beat of the music.

The ash blond suddenly began to spin you around which you went along with, your dress flaring out beautifully along with your loose strands of hair before he tugged your arm, yanking your spinning back to rest flat against his body.

Both of your heavy pants were drowned out by the music. While you were completely entranced with the ash blond who was holding you tightly against him from behind, Bakugou’s eyes looked away from you only to smugly look at the blond haired boy who finally noticed the two of you dancing.

His powder blue eyes were filled with hatred as he glared at Bakugou who only winked at the boy. Bakugou was only getting started.

Stop, let me get a good look at it Ooh so thick, now I know why they call it a fatty And oh shit so sick got a hit and picked up a habit That's alright, 'cause you're all mine

Chills ran up your spine as you felt Bakugou’s hands grip at the sides of your waist before slowly moving up your body along with the lyrics of the song. Grinning you made sure to sway your hips along with him, your movements in perfect harmony with the beat which only pleased Bakugou further.

Now with more space, Bakugou led your arm out and moved in quick steps with you towards the center of the dance floor before flinging his arm out sending you in a twirling loop out until both of your arms were extended. Once you regained your balance, you looked to him with a surprised look, your lips parted just slightly before you felt the tug of his arm sending you spiraling back into his warm embrace.

Ooh go on and show 'em who you call daddy I guess they're just mad 'cause girl, they wish they had it Ooh my killer, my "Thriller" yeah you're a classic And you're all mine tonight

Bakugou new exactly what the next lyrics were to come. Which is exactly why he had you pressed up against him for the very part. This would only be the cherry on top for that bastard blond haired mop.

Your movement's haulted against Bakugou as the music dazzled into a smoother moment, awaiting Bakugou’s next move until you felt his lips close against your ear, his warm breath just dancing against your skin as he whispered the very words of the song,

"Go on and show 'em who you call daddy."

At that moment, your body fell into shock as your entire face heated up intensely. You had to bite hard on your lip to not embarrass yourself any further from the suggestive words he spoke as he squeezed at your hips tightly.

While you remained clearly flustered in his arms, Bakugou kept his eyes on the now fuming boy amongst the crowd. His eyes were narrowed challengingly while his lips held his signature shit eating smirk with his canine teeth on full display.

For once in this feud with Monoma, Bakugou finally had the upper hand, and he was going to make sure he kept it.

All black at the white shows White shoes at the black shows Green card for the Cuban linx Y'all sit back and enjoy the light show Nothing exceeds like excess Stoute got gout from having the best of the best, is this what it's all about I'm at the rest-aurant with my rent, disturbing the guests Years of distress, tears on the dress Try to hide her face with some makeup sex uh This is truffle season Tom Ford tuxedos for no reason All Saints for my angel Alexander Wang too Ass-tight denim and some Dunks I'll show you how to do this young uh

With the sudden change in beat, your dance movements with Bakugou changed as well. Your smooth movements changed to sharp moves, all while remaining close to Bakugou.

As his hand wrapped around the curve of your waist in a diagnal line with you, the two of you began to walk in sink before he tugged you to a stop and you both faced each other.

"You trust me right?" Bakugou whispered quickly.

Breathlessly you nodded, and not even seconds later he lifted you up by the and spun you around to which you kicked your legs up before landing with his arm around your back. His eyes were slightly widened at your spontaneous move but he quickly grinned in response, slowly dipping you down to which you followed, your back bending slowly to the ground until your hair touched the floor.

Just at the right time, Bakugou snatched you back up till your faces were mere centimeters away before dragging you towards the other side of the floor

As long as I've got my suit and tie I'ma leave it all on the floor tonight Baby got fixed up to the nines Let me show you a few things All pressed up in black and white And you're dressed in that dress I like Love is swinging in the air tonight Let me show you a few things Let me show you a few things Show you a few things, about love

When the song finally came to an end, your chests collided with each other at the final trumpet of the song. You both heavily panted, everything slowing in that moment as you stared each other in the eyes.

You weren't sure if this was Bakugou’s way of telling you he didn't care about Monoma, or if he wanted to take the next step in the relationship. No matter what the reason was, you knew you'd be okay with it. As long as he was in the picture, you were okay with anything.

Suddenly your intense gazes were broke when the sound of clapping was heard from the crowd. Your eyes looked out to see most of the students cheering. Most of the roudiness was coming from the A Class, Bakugou’s classmates mostly whistling and hollering at him. Meanwhile a few of your friends cheered for you as well, mostly everyone clapping except for a few from your own class who stood behind Monoma in disgust.

Looking back to Bakugou you both tried to read each other's expressions before bursting into laugher, your faces coming together as you rested your foreheads against each other.

"I'm going to take it your classmates don't approve of us, do they princess?"

Letting out a sigh you bit at your lip before looking up to him, "Who cares."

Bakugou looked up at those words, slightly shocked until your smooth palm caressed his cheek and you smiled to him genuinely, "None of those petty classmates mean anything to me... you do."

The ash blond boy couldn't help but grin at this, his chest beating just a little bit faster at your words before he gripped the back of your head and smashed his lips up against yours.

The two of you didn't have a care in the world for the gasps or whispers, everything seemed to shut out except for the two of you in that very moment.

For now, it was you two against the world.

#bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki #bakugou #katsuki x reader #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #song fic #suit and tie #enj oY #hey look I posted something

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psychosistr · 5 years

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Wait for You- Part 1 (CaeJose Dancer!AU)

Part 3 of my CaesarxTrans!Joseph Dancer!AU. I feel bad putting these two through some pain this time, but I apparently can’t write people being/falling in love without introducing some angst into the relationship XP

The inspiration for this chapter’s title is “Wait for You” by Elliot Yamin and you’ll probably see why in the second part T~T

Joseph sighed as she reclined back on her couch. She was sooooooo bored…

She knew she could probably do some chores around her apartment, but she hated cleaning- well, she hated hard work of any kind, really. She had a ton of comic books and video games and movies to keep her preoccupied, but none of it was appealing to her at the moment. There were no classes to teach today, no practices to go to, absolutely NOTHING to do.

She spotted her phone across from her on the coffee table and an idea popped into her mind. With a big grin and the faintest of blushes along her cheeks, she scrolled through her text conversations to Caesar’s number. It had been a few days since the night he took her home after destroying her suit for her (her mom had been irritated about it, but let her off with only a mild lecture) and they’d been texting pretty regularly since then. They hadn’t actually had a chance to SEE each other since that night, though…

Well, might as well try for something now, right?

Joseph smiled as she typed out a message and sent it to Caesar.

“Caaaeessaaarrrrr, I’m boooooooorrreeeeedddddd :P Are you doing anything right now? We could go grab lunch somewhere- I know a great pizza place nearby. Let’s go there so I can listen to you complain about how un-authentic it is, lol XD”

She saw him typing back a reply within less than a minute. A bubble of hope built up within her until it burst when she read the reply.

“My apologies, mia angela, but I’m actually meeting a friend for lunch. I work a short shift tonight, though- perhaps we could go out for dinner instead?”

Joseph pouted a bit at that. She really wanted to see him sooner than that. Plus, waiting until dinner meant that she’d still be bored all day. But, at least she’d get to see him..

“Okay, fiiiiine, I’ll wait til tonight XP Text me when you get off so we can pick a place.”

“I will. See you tonight, bella dea ;)”

She couldn’t help a small laugh when she read his reply. He was such a flirt, even when he was just texting. She still liked it, though, because it showed how interested he was in her.

She stretched and got up from the couch. “No use hanging around here, I guess…” She decided she might as well use the free time to go for a jog. After all, she’d have plenty of time to shower and change before seeing Caesar tonight...

Joseph had her earbuds in, her phone strapped to her arm via a holster, and was jogging down her usual route while listening to her workout mix. She got some stares from people when they saw her running around in black spandex workout shorts, a sleeveless pink mid-riff revealing top, and her usual sneakers and green and yellow scarf, but she ignored them as she usually did.

She slowed to a stop when she got to a street corner, having to wait for the light to change. As she waited, she looked around out of boredom. Her eyes landed on a familiar but unexpected sight, though:

Caesar, sitting at a table outside of a local café.

“Oh, that must be where he’s meeting his friend.” She said to herself while taking out her earbuds.

She was about to go say hi to him, but she stopped in her tracks when she saw someone walk up to Caesar. SOMEONE being an admittedly cute girl with blond hair, big doe eyes, and an adorable but clingy white sundress that showed off that her eyes weren’t the only pair of big things on her…

Joseph watched with wide eyes, frozen in shock. No, surely that couldn’t be whom Caesar was meeting for lunch, right?

Her fleeting hopes were dashed to the rocks when Caesar saw the girl and stood up, greeting her with a smile and a kiss to each of her cheeks as he said “Ciao, bella!” before pulling her chair out for her so she could sit at his table with him.

Joseph’s chest felt tight. She didn’t want to believe what she was seeing, but it was hard to deny it…

She saw the light change and quickly crossed the street, taking cover behind some trees on the corner. She peeked from between a few branches, giving her a perfect vantage point.

Unfortunately, she quickly found that she couldn’t follow any of their conversation. ‘Are you kidding me?! She’s Italian, too?!’

Sure enough, the girl and Caesar spoke Italian fluently back and forth, occasionally brushing hands or passing bites of food on their plates once they ordered and had their food brought out in a way that clearly spoke of familiarity. As Joseph watched the pair eat and talk, she couldn’t help but think of how cute they seemed together- two pretty, blonde, Italian people sitting at a café…it made her feel sick…

Deciding she couldn’t stand there and watch the scene unfold any longer, she put her earbuds back in to block out their voices and ran home as fast as her feet would carry her.

Her mind swam with questions: Who was that girl? Were she and Caesar dating? How long had they known each other? Had they been dating since they both lived in Italy? And if that’s the case, what was Caesar doing with Joseph? Was she just a side-piece? A passing fancy? Or was that just how he treated all women and she’d just mistaken it for something more?

Then there was the question that hurt the most, the one that she’d been trying to avoid since her first dance with the Italian: Caesar was a handsome, charming, charismatic guy who could easily get any woman he wanted, so why would he waste his time with someone like Joseph when he could have a cute girl like the one at the café?

Whatever the answers were to those questions, she decided she didn’t want to know. She wouldn’t be someone’s side-chick and she sure as hell wasn’t going to cry over something as stupid as a boy.

Even if that boy made her feel so special…

She canceled her plans with Caesar that night, responding to the text he sent with a vague “Something came up” and nothing else. She didn’t bother reading what he sent in reply. She also didn’t bother checking her phone for any of the other messages he sent over the next two days. She had to distance herself from him emotionally.

Unfortunately, she couldn’t avoid seeing him at class…

As she did her warm up stretches in the corner as usual, Caesar approached her. “Jojo? Is everything alright?”

She wanted to shout at him that NO, EVERYTHING’S NOT ALRIGHT, but she kept her cool and replied evenly. “Yeah. Everything’s fine.”

Caesar frowned slightly at her tense reply. “O..kay..I was just concerned- I didn’t hear back from you after you said something came up.”

“I was busy.” Another clipped reply, but she couldn’t help it. She wasn’t very good at hiding how she felt, but she knew that if she spoke she’d have a meltdown in front of everyone.

Fortunately, her mom saved her by starting class and Caesar was soon distracted learning today’s lesson and choreography. Unfortunately, it was another lesson that required a partner.

Predictably, Caesar came up to her with his usual charming smile. “Jojo, would you like to-?”

She cut him off before he could finish. “Actually, I’m sitting this one out, so you should go ask one of the other girls.”

She felt a brief moment of guilt when she saw the surprised and slightly hurt look on his face before he gave an understanding nod and went to ask someone else. Joseph refused to feel bad about this- he was the one who’d gotten her hopes up, damn it, why should she feel bad?

Still…when she saw him dance with another girl in class, it made her feel jealous..even if she wished it didn’t…

She used her mom’s office as a hiding spot after class was over and waited there until she was sure everyone else was gone before heading out to the parking lot. Her plan seemed like a failure, though, when she saw Caesar waiting outside in his riding clothes expectantly.

Joseph took a deep breath and set her face in a neutral expression as she tried to walk past him. Caesar was having none of that, it seemed, and he stood in her way as she tried to get through. She kept her neutral face as she looked him in the eyes. “What?”

“Why are you avoiding me?” Caesar got straight to the point, his gaze firm but with an underlying confusion and sadness. “I thought we were getting along-”

“Yeah, I thought so too- guess we were both wrong. Now move.” Joseph said in an irritated tone as she shoved him aside and continued on her way.

She would not cry in front of him. She would not breakdown and demand answers like some cheated lover in a bad romance novel. She would keep her cool.

<-Previous Story Part 2->

-From the Beginning-

#caejose #Caesar Zeppeli #Joseph Joestar #trans!joseph #trans!character #Dancer!AU #Modern!AU #some internalized self-transphobia #i promise things get better!

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pennyfynotes · 7 years

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8.5.17 // 1:00pm // guide to getting back in to school

requested by @meg-is-studying (thanks for the request!)

sooooooo school is quickly approaching and (if you're anything like me) you're not ready or excited. unfortunately, school is a rather important part of life that is also unavoidable. here's how to brace yourself for the onslaught of assignments, lectures, and exams. and, just maybe, get a little excited? yeah right m, that's not happening... anyway, i'll stop rambling and give you some real advice (under the cut, that is)!

1. reset your sleep schedule. chances are, you've completely messed up your sleep schedule over the summer (especially if you don't have a 9-5 job). take some time (a week or so?) to force yourself to bed at a reasonable hour and force yourself to get up around the time you'd need to for school. it'll make it just that much easier to get to school on the first day if you're not waging war in your bed before you even leave the house ;)

2. new school supplies! i think it's safe to say that most of the studyblr community (if not the whole world) likes school supply shopping. we're kind of stationery geeks. but that doesn't mean you have to spend a fortune. you don't need to go and get mildliners and staedlers and muji notebooks. if you want to and have the budget, go for it. if not, here's how to make your stuff feel new + trendy without breaking the bank:

>>> diy is your friend. one of my favorite ways to have cute, but cheap supplies is to make it myself. you can do a simple collage for your binder/notebook cover or use paint if that's more your style. my personal favorite through the years is to use decorative duct tape. you could also use washi (especially if you have a notebook with a paper cover). with just one roll of duct tape, you can customize a bunch of notebooks. i like to use an exacto knife to cut different sized strips/geometric shapes and stick them on in fun geo patterns.

>>> not everything needs to be new. i touched on this in my college dorm shopping guide but this also applies here. i reuse a lot of my supplies (ex: pens, pencils, notebooks) so i usually don't have to buy all that much. if you only need a couple notebooks and a binder, then maybe you can splurge a little and get the cuter versions since you're reusing all your other supplies.

3. reorganize something or (if you're ambitious) everything. this is another way to "reset" for the new year. if you haven't already gone through your old school work, start with that. i like to reorganize my room/closet as well as my desk. going through your backpack/pencil case is also great. throw away things that are old or don't work and maybe start filling your drawers/pockets with your supplies for the new school year. this helps me to feel on top of things and gives me a clean slate.

4. set goals. goal setting can be a way to get you motivated and more organized. i think setting goals forces you to really evaluate what's ahead (do you have a really hard class? tight schedule?) and focus on how to overcome obstacles you forsee. if you're taking a notoriously hard class and decide your goal is to get a good grade, you can start planning on how to do that. planning every little detail (which is super unnecessary and will probably get disregarded) makes me feel more ready to tackle school.

>>> disclaimer: this isn't really something i do. my goals are generally very long term (and don't change much), so they're already ingrained in me and i don't really have to think about what they are.

5. plan. as mentioned above, i tend to try to plan every little thing before school starts. it gives me a sense of security. if you're not crazy like me, just regular planning is good too. any big things going on in your schedule? when are marching band try outs? you're going to want some sort of system to keep organized once the year starts, so might as well get a jump start.

6. compare schedules with friends. one of the highlights of school (for a good amount of people) is getting to see friends. see if you have classes together and maybe you'll get a little more excited. suffering is always a little more bearable in numbers.

>>> ok this can also backfire if you don't have classes with friends, so be aware of that. you can view these classes as ways to meet new people. or, if you're an antisocial hermit like me, you can use these classes as quiet/alone time to get work done or work on personal projects.

7. get advice from upperclassmen. though it might seem daunting to ask upperclassmen things, especially if you don't really know them, they are truly fountains of knowledge. well, not all of them. try to find one with common interests/goals as you otherwise their advice/experiences might not be relevant to you. asking upperclassmen can help you get a feel for the class/teacher and help you find little tricks to get through things more easily. honestly, upperclass friends are pretty invaluable.

so i realize a lot of this advice is about how to get prepared, but that's usually the best way for me to "get into" (read: steel myself for) school. i find a lot of security in preparedness, but even if you don't, i hope this was helpful. best of luck! xoxo, m

ps. as usual, feel free to send me an ask/message with any questions you have! i love to help :)

#pennyfynotes #pfynguides #masterpost #advice #studyblr #school #uni-net #rhubarbstudies #heyaly #heyjul #littlestudyblrblog #athenastudying #hufflepuffwannabe #studyfeather #studeebean

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asexualmew · 7 years

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Learning Disabled and How The American Public School System Failed Me

Arc I - Special Ed

Okay, so I’m learning disabled. The earliest age they can actually test for that sort of thing, with the exception of speech tests which was done much earlier, was in 2nd grade, but it was apparent before then, too. I was put into multiple Special Ed type classes.

Alphaphonics

Some English class? Different from Alphaphonics?

A Math class

Speech therapy

Apart from speech therapy that I had started when I was 2 years old and continued to sometime at the end of 4th grade when I finally graduated, these classes felt...

Pointless.

I mean, there was definitely a need for special education, but the way my elementary school went about it, it felt absolutely useless. I can’t even remember doing any work in my English class. I remember once the teacher read to us a book, and another time the teachers wanted to see if glasses with tinted colours could help me read better, but for the most part, this “English” class was just used as a free time for us kids. We’d just hang out and play lots of games.

Alphaphonics was particularly awful due to its repetition, and it wasn’t until I was an adult trying to explain to my friend how redundant and awful it was that I discovered that it really was a bullshit class, in the sense that it was a ciriculum made by an ableist man that went around trying to sell off this bullshit to schools and not many schools took the bait, but mine did. Every single day from 2nd grade to the end of elementary school, we spent the mornings cycling through flashcards, “U. Umbrella. OO. Book. OO. Moon.” Etc. Every day. For years.

And then the math class... That class did do something. Just. Not efficiently enough, I think.

Now, before I go on in this story, I want to stress that at this time I was a lawful-good goody-goody-tooshoos that was afraid of breaking a single rule in class. I was also nearly a straight A student, with a couple of B’s hanging out here or there. Thinking about that annoying teachers pet in elementary school? Good, that was me.

Okay well, this math class, this special ed class, it was patronizing as all get out! We were so behind the regular class and where they were in math. And it wasn’t because we weren’t doing well or learning the material, it’s because the teacher kept kiddy gloves on while teaching us, constantly, and she kept us behind. We’d be working on work sheets with subtraction of larger numbers, and all of us at my table would make a 100% on it... but meanwhile, at that very moment, the regular math class, the students were already on basic division.

And this was upsetting. Especially given just how often you have to be told by the grown ups around you that “You’re not stupid! You’re just special! You’re.. you’re GIFTED!” when you know that you’re just being told this to placate you, and you feel worlds behind all the “normal kids”. It doesn’t mean anything to be told that you’re not stupid, when you’re taught that grades represent your worth as a child, and you’re not even being taught the same things as the other kids your age. Being “gifted” means literally nothing when you know there’s no worth to those words.

So, being a typically quiet child who always raises their hand to speak in class and who always does the “right thing”, one day I just snapped.

Arc II - Hey! Teacher! Leave those kids alone!

I stood on the table and yelled at my special ed teachers in that math class. How DARE they treat us like we’re stupid! WE’RE NOT STUPID! We’re smart just like everyone else! We already learned this stuff months ago!! But you don’t let us move on to the next thing! We’re NOT STUPID! WE’RE NOT STUPID! STOP TREATING US LIKE WE’RE STUPID! I wanna learn what everyone else is learning! WE’RE NOT STUPID!

All of the other kids in class cheered and wooted, but the head teacher in that class was livid. I know she tried her best to make sure we didn’t feel stupid, with words like “gifted” and all that, but actions were louder than words, and I wasn’t very remorseful to her hard work. She asked me if I wanted to leave Special Ed. If I wanted to be dumped in normal class. She told me I’d fail. That I would want to come back. But I was determined, and my pride was hurt, and I wanted to be treated normal. So, she arranged it so that I was no longer in Special Ed for math. (Where was my mom in all this? I forget!)

It was 5th grade and I was very much so behind the regular class. I was given no bridge to prepare me for division. I mean, I eventually learned multiplication and division, and, my poor teacher tried to help me all she could but, I was already beginning to fall like a rock. I went from getting consistent A’s to consistent F’s. I was heartbroken.

This is when I first discovered my perfectionist tendencies, and, also, the first time those tendencies began to ruin my life. Because I couldn’t do it. And I gave up. I stopped doing my homework, first in math, then in everything. I tried what I could in class, but I never reached high. I just... gave up and quit. But I refused to go back to special ed. I’d prefer to fail on my own.

Arc III - Conspiracy

Finally, 7th grade. Middle school. I was gonna start a new here! I wouldn’t be bullied, I wouldn’t be a failure, I would do my best! Clean slate!

Well. The principle of this middle school approached me at some point. “I noticed in your papers that you were in special ed in elementary school, but then you got out? Would you like to be listed as learning disabled to make school here a little easier for you?”

Honestly, I didn’t know what that would mean, how it would be “easier”, but I knew is that I wanted nothing to do with that! I didn’t want that! I wanted to get far far away from being treated differently because of how my brain was wired. I had already been treated differently my entire life for it, and the way I was treated differently wasn’t very fun. I was scared. And prideful! I refused.

I had no idea that refusing this offer would start a little war in the school between the staff and my mom and me.

After that my grades started getting mysteriously lowered. Homework that I turned in was getting marked as “missing”. I was being sabotaged. The school kept calling in my mom to talk to her, to tell her how poor I’m doing, and try to get her to agree to have me set as Learning Disabled but, she actually respected my wishes to be free of that label. I tried to tell her, too, that “No! I really did do the work, Mom!” but she doubted me a lot. I don’t blame her.

And then, one day, my history teacher had messed up. He returned a test that we had done, all graded and everything, and I had made like, a B or something. But later, when I saw my progress report, the grade that was entered into the computer was significantly lower.

I had proof.

I showed it to my mom and she got pissed. She started showing up at the school every day to try and get them to fess up and to stop treating me this way. Meanwhile, the principle would hound me down in the halls between classes, or when I was trying to go home, to tell me how terrible I am at school and how I needed to sign up as learning disabled.

One day, in first period, I was thinking about my mom and the teachers, and all of a sudden I started breathing really hard and I couldn’t stop. It disrupted the class and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. I was hyperventilating for the first time. My first panic attack before many, many more in the near and far future.

Arc IV - It All Comes Down To Money

My homeroom teacher asked me what I was thinking of, I said “Mom!” and he told me to stop thinking about it, and had the student sitting next to me walk to the nurse.

My homeroom teacher called my mom and told her to meet him after school. There, he confessed everything. He admitted that the principle was threatening all of their jobs over this. That they had meetings about how to deal with me and how to deal with my mom separately. How they were told to lie about my grades, and then tell me to my face that I really was a bad student so that I may believe them. All because the government pays more money to a public school that has learning disabled students. The more learning disabled students, the more money the school gets. And I guess when I got pulled out of special ed in elementary school, that’s how my teacher had done it, by removing me off of the list for learning disabled. I don’t understand honestly, but what I do understand, was that my principle was specifically targeting and hurting me out of greed.

After my teacher finished up explaining all of this, he said he wasn’t going to take part in it anymore, and that when the school year ends, he was going to move back to Russia and teach there, again. I really appreciated that he came forward with this at risk of his job, and that he couldn’t stand to watch this happen anymore.

I had several more panic attacks after this, including after being chased to by the principle whom, when she made it to the car I got in to go home, when the window was rolled down she stuck her head in just to continue telling me how poor of a student I was.

But it didn’t matter. Now that we knew what was going on, we would fix it.

And Mom pulled me out in that first semester and home schooled me for the rest of my middle school days.

Arc V - But the damage had been done

That was elementary school and middle school. I was sent back to public school for high school because my mom felt there were so many missed opportunities if I stayed home schooled, things she couldn’t teach me, and interactions I’d never have. I was doing very well being taught one-on-one and I learned years worth of material per semester. But- high school had art class... sooooooo.....

Unfortunately though, I just couldn’t do as well in a public setting, and I started slipping through the cracks again. It’s incredibly disheartening to know that you were the only one who cared about your German class, and you were also the only one who failed it, for example. It wasn’t that long after, when I started making all F’s and C’s again (there aren’t D’s in Texas) that I was approached and was given the offer again.

“If we label you as learning disabled, then you’ll need less credits to graduate with and you’ll be given more time during tests.”

And for everything I worked for to be cleared of that, for everything my mom did to protect me from this, I took the offer, and then continued to fail in school, but now properly as a learning disabled kid.

I had already forgotten how to do well in school, after all. And whenever I tried, and I failed, I’d just continue to fail cause I’d give up like the perfectionist I became after leaving special ed.

Public school just really isn’t designed for people like me, which is why people with some of my disabilities have such a high ratio of dropping out of school. We’re set up for failure from our early years. Even if I hadn’t left special ed, what do you think happened to all the kids int here that were behind that were being dropped in schools that didn’t have those classes? I don’t know. I mean, I can’t justify it. Like, even if I say “It’s my fault for leaving special ed”, I was also a kid. Like, 10 years old! It shouldn’t be my fault for wanting to be treated like a normal human being and doing everything in my power for that result.

I could also say it’s my fault for just not trying hard enough, but, I also can’t justify saying that, either! Heh. Cause my behavior was very much so learned.

Anyway, I graduated by the skin of my teeth through a computer remedial class and that’s better than what my mom had and I feel really fortunate for graduating at all.

#Ableism #Learning disabled #School #Abuse #Long post #Text heavy

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owenteaguer · 6 years

Note

1-150 love u hot ma

omg baby you’re too good to me..... you shouldn’t have.......... but I’m gonna do it because I’m bored as shit ;)

but I’ll be kind to everyone and make it a “see more” type of thing lol

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

My dog, he’s my best friend

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Both! Probably more shy, but I can be outgoing. I am an introvert

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

My cousins! Though who knows when I’ll see them. They’re major flakes. I always look forward to seeing my niece, as well. I am also looking forward to seeing the love of my life, but who knows when that’ll be!

4. Are you easy to get along with?

I think so, yes. I try to relate to others and make jokes involving them, so people usually chat with me. But I can be stubborn and annoying so :P

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Owen Teague? Babe? Want to come take care of me? Just kidding. But I don’t know who I like right now, and if I did like them I don’t think they would unless I was with them? I don’t know, it is doubtful.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Oh god, edgy boys hahaha. Adam Driver and Owen Teague are excellent examples. But I like fun people who like to joke around and don’t take life too seriously.... but also know what their goals are and stuff

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

I fucking hope so, but I doubt it. I don’t get out much, and I need to work on myself more. But I really would like a relationship because I’m needy and lonely.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Owen, Adam

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

Depends who with. My mom and her boyfriend? Yes, most definitely. With my best friend? Nope. We talk about it all the time lmao

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

Hm, probably my best friend/cousin

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“it wouldn’t take long but it’s just a matter of me doing it” and “I mean... yes. I was just adding what I thought was a funny point”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

be calm - fun. (back into fun. currently lol)

bae - the front bottoms

the beers - the front bottoms

all my heroes - bleachers

take your time (coming home) - fun.

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

yes! it feels great

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

yes, unfortunately. but with a grain of salt, I guess

15. What good thing happened this summer?

I went to Germany!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Never been kissed :,(

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

Answered this previously - but yes

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

No lmao that was kindergarten or preschool

19. Do you like bubble baths?

I like the idea of them, I don’t like that I 1. don’t have bubble bath stuff and 2. the soap just stays on your body unless you shower after

20. Do you like your neighbors?

No, and I wish I did. But they’re douchey and nosey and annoying

21. What are you bad habits?

cracking knuckles!

22. Where would you like to travel?

Europe! Scotland specifically

23. Do you have trust issues?

Yes but I also just tell people randomly really deep things about myself and it is a Problem

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

The moment when you find the perfect place on the pillow and you’re perfectly comfortable and ready to go to sleep. And the last few moments of being awake. Love the feeling of absolute exhaustion

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

My stomach Lol but I imagine if I was happy with it I’d just be uncomfortable with something else. Also really hating my skin right now... I’ve been taking great care of it and it has gone to SHIT. But I also think I figured out why

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Well recently I’ve been messing around on my phone then falling back asleep for another hour+. but usually brush my teeth after checking my phone

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

I am content with my extremely pale ass skin, but I wish it was clearer Lol

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My best friend/cousin, I guess, but still not completely comfortable with her

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Don’t have any ex’s because I’ve never dated anyone !

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Very badly and it hurts me. I just want to love someone, y’know?

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

Yes, but like 1/4-1/2 of it falls out. It is a Look

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

Owen Teague and Adam Driver :-D

33. Spell your name with your chin.

0-pasioge

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

Not since middle school, but I played soccer

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

No TV, I think. I’d be content with books. Especially if TV meant cable because I never ever watch cable but I do watch netflix

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

fuck yes

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

some embarrassing ass shit

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

not to be ~that person~ but owen teague is my ideal man. He plays instruments, loves to read, is in a band, is a photography, is an artist, and a successful actor, with his life pretty much made. And he is so attractive, like, my type of attractive. and is a Sagittarius! but generally I look for someone who is kind and funny, smart, likes to read and gets invested into stories/shows/movies, has interests deeper than day-to-day stuff, and has some sort of plan or course of action for their future. But being in a band is a huge bonus

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Costco, Target, michael’s, walmart because there is weird shit there for cheap

40. What do you want to do after high school?

well I’m out of high school, and I’m doing nothing.... so nothing? :P

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Depends on the person, so I guess I don’t believe that. But I believe in second chances

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m upset in some way but I don’t want to confront it myself because I hate confrontation. or I’m tired

43. Do you smile at strangers?

yes

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

answered this in more depth in the last post, but ocean

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

coffee! and day plans. things I’m invested in, like puzzles or seeing people

46. What are you paranoid about?

life plans, a career path, if i’ll be successful, what my friends and others think of me, me being a failure, etc

47. Have you ever been high?

yep! for the first time this year a few weeks ago

48. Have you ever been drunk?

yep! in mexico a few years ago and in Germany over summer

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

well I hope my mom doesn’t find out about me smoking weed until I move out Lol

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

blue! I’m wearing it now

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

all the time!

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

size

53. Favourite makeup brand?

don’t really wear makeup, but i like elf and nyx

54. Favourite store?

costco! and target

55. Favourite blog?

i’m not sure, i don’t know that many

56. Favourite colour?

navy blue/indigo

57. Favourite food?

hamburgers

58. Last thing you ate?

mac and cheese

59. First thing you ate this morning?

coffee because i’m an animal

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

yes, for a stuff bear at the fair. his name is bearemy

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

nope

62. Been arrested? For what?

nope

63. Ever been in love?

i use the phrase “love of my life” but no

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

hasn’t happened ;(

65. Are you hungry right now?

nada

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

i only have so many, but they’re currently talking to me so yes

67. Facebook or Twitter?

twitter

68. Twitter or Tumblr?

right now tumblr, but i’ve used twitter more

69. Are you watching tv right now?

70. Names of your bestfriends?

hayley

71. Craving something? What?

chocolate milk

72. What colour are your towels?

navy blue, blue, and white

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

6 :P

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

yes

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

a lot. like three on my bed.... probably 10 ish total?

75. Favourite animal?

snails and otters

76. What colour is your underwear?

pink

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

chocolate

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

rocky road or chocolate chip cookie dough

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

black with white ringers

80. What colour pants?

light purple with dark purple dots (theyre pjs)

81. Favourite tv show?

atypical, game of thrones, idk

82. Favourite movie?

hercules and labyrinth

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

never seen them

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

never seen either

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

do not know

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

i like the whale shark from finding dory. but i guess the “you just made me ink!” octopus is cute

87. First person you talked to today?

my mama

88. Last person you talked to today?

my friend mik

89. Name a person you hate?

peyton >:(

90. Name a person you love?

my niece, nova

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

not particularly

92. In a fight with someone?

not that i know of? but everyone i know is ignoring me lmao

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

one, but many other comfy pants

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

sooooooo fucking many

95. Last movie you watched?

some shit christmas kids movie

96. Favourite actress?

hm, don’t think i have one

97. Favourite actor?

owen teague, adam driver, are you shocked?

98. Do you tan a lot?

no the sun hurts you

99. Have any pets?

yes i have one dog, bo, and my mom has a bunch of pets

100. How are you feeling?

entertained

101. Do you type fast?

yes i was forced into a class on typing. but even if i wasn’t i would be a fast typer i imagine

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

i regret not making out with my old coworker even though it wouldve been weird lmao

103. Can you spell well?

yes i can

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

i miss my aunt julie and uncle schad, but i never knew them. and my grandpa

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

yep, but not any fun ones. mostly from being stuck with my dad

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

not that i know of

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

yes and i have a strong dislike towards them

108. What should you be doing?

helping my mom clean for christmas, cleaning my room, sleeping, working on christmas gifts

109. Is something irritating you right now?

my friend seems to be angry with me for no reason. and my best friend is not talkign to me at all for some reason ??

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

@ owen

111. Do you have trust issues?

i think i answered this maybe? but yes i just impulsively tell people things lol

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

my best friend probably

113. What was your childhood nickname?

my dad called/calls me mooncricket. my sister called me paigey wedgie

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

yep! many times

115. Do you play the Wii?

yessss, animal crossing city folk changed my life. been using the wiiu nowadays though

116. Are you listening to music right now?

yep, the front bottoms - don’t fill up on chips

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

yes but mostly when its homemade

118. Do you like Chinese food?

FUCK YES!!

119. Favourite book?

i don’t particularly have one, idk

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

yes

121. Are you mean?

i can be, unfortunately. but i have been making it a point to be nice and not judgmental (but still workin on it)

122. Is cheating ever okay?

nope

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

not with my goddamn doof of a dog

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

maybe with food. or with owen teague lmao

125. Do you believe in true love?

yes i am a huge cheesy romantic

126. Are you currently bored?

not so much anymore

127. What makes you happy?

my dog, owen and adam, jack antonoff, my favorite people, the cute tumblr peeps i talk to

128. Would you change your name?

no i dont think so. paige is kind of a basic name but i havent met many paige’s

129. What your zodiac sign?

aries!

130. Do you like subway?

yes. oven roasted chicken breast is good shit

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

we’re fuckin

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

this q was literally number 10 on this list

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

hm.....

-if youre lonely, lonely, lonely wake me

-so come on, motherfucker, you survived you gotta give yourself a break

-there’s no love like apathy

134. Can you count to one million?

i have never tried and i don’t think i want to

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

i don’t think i can remember any lie. maybe just a small lie??

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed, otherwise my dogs would break in

137. How tall are you?

5′7

138. Curly or Straight hair?

i have wavy, but i don’t mind either way

139. Brunette or Blonde?

i’m brunette, and i like brunettes

140. Summer or Winter?

winter!

141. Night or Day?

night

142. Favourite month?

april because i’m basic and it’s my bday month

143. Are you a vegetarian?

nada

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

milk. but white chocolate mochas? 10/10

145. Tea or Coffee?

both! but i drink coffee more

146. Was today a good day?

yes, pretty basic, but good

147. Mars or Snickers?

snickers, though i don’t particularly like either to any extreme

148. What’s your favourite quote?

oof.... the first one i can think of is “i don’t know where i’m going from here but i can promise it won’t be boring” -bowie, but idk if its a fav

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

i answered this more in depth before, but yes

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“moaning, strangled sound and I have to be quick to awaken her and hold her...”

wow i made it

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