#i also worry that i overshare a lot

[zemnarihah]

my relationship is stable again 👍🏼

[diari0deglierrori]

Just a quick poll because.

[deus-ex-mona]

i thought of my family. i ✨shrivelled up inside✨

[nature-played-a-trick-on-me]

.

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

I’ll have gone out and done something social one day and be like “I was so normal about everything today, I would get such a good grade in socializing, something that is normal to want and possible to achieve”

then when I’m in bed trying to sleep my brain will bring up every slip up of the day

[dan-crimes]

Mfs can't understand a blunt mf they always gotta try and read between the lines or straight up deny the words you're saying and deny how you feel

[cherry-shipping]

i think about my horrortale self insert so much i dont know what it is that made them my favorite insert but im having fun with them as if they were someone elses character HONESTLY

[agendabymooner]

SOMETHING UNEXPECTED !!! GEORGE R. X FEM!READER (18+)

summary: their friendship wasn't the only thing that took an unexpected turn. but it wasn't anything that they wanted to complain about.

content warning: smut under the cut (minors dni!), use of explicit language, best friends to lovers-ish, dom!george, brief degradation, overstimulation, fingering, p in v, brief impact play, mentions oral sex (m receiving), dacryphilia (???) aftercare, mentioned past relationship, filthy filthy george 🙃

song rec: outside by bryson tiller (i have a driver specific prompt written hehe)

note: so like... george got the dog in him, canonically. also, 20 smut pieces??? 😳 enjoy xx

something sinful (smut) masterlist

a - n masterlist

o - z masterlist

if you’d like to get on one of my taglists, check this post out

george russell had always known that her ex was a fucking prick. but to hear that her ex kept calling her, asking for forgiveness was another level of stupidity that george hadn’t expected. 

he had been her best friend long before he became a professional driver and he knew her all too well. he listened to her vent left and right— he knew her inside and out.

so george didn’t understand why she was still here, sulking in their booth as if the dance floor wasn’t calling for her. he had managed to get her out of her room and dressed up for tonight— she looked so amazing. so why was she here sulking over some man who wasn’t even worth half of her? 

“you ought to let loose, doll,” george leaned and whispered in her ear. her head immediately turned to look at him as he shrugged nonchalantly, “‘m just saying. that man is a prick.”

“i know he is, russell,” she huffed, kicking him lightly under the table. “there’s no need to tell me how much time i’ve wasted on him.” 

“well it’s not the matter of the time you’ve wasted on him before,” george told her with a smirk, extending his hand towards her direction as she grabbed it. 

he took her to the dance floor, standing behind her as they both danced amongst the sweaty bodies that wished for nothing but to let go of their worries and stress. 

the british man continued as he nibbled on her ear, “it’s the matter of time that you’re wasting on him now.” 

“george—“ she almost sighed at the feeling of his mouth, making him shush her. 

“don’t think about him now, love,” he murmured quietly, resting his hands on her hips as they both swayed their bodies to the club music. “it’s all about you and you're moving on from him.” 

“do you treat all of your friends like this, george?” she whispered back, leaning her head back to whisper in his ear. she was intoxicated by his touch and his words. it was hilarious how long before her previous relationship, she was willing to give it up for her best friend— and such feelings resurfaced now. 

she loathed george’s presence. his hilarious self, his blue eyes, his being. she hated him because he could make her feel things that friends shouldn’t feel.

his face feigned innocence as he asked, “like what?”

“like you want to fuck and love them more than their exes ever did,” she raised a brow and spoke bluntly. her bewildered feeling hadn’t stopped her from looking up at him with the same curiosity that she held as she asked him. 

he was just as shocked as she was, yet he remained where he stood. his eyes darkened at the way her words let those filthy thoughts out, unable to keep his thoughts contained as he answered truthfully, “only when i know their worth.” 

“you’ve spoken about how unsatisfied you felt with him,” he continued, his low tone sending chills down her spine as she looked ahead of her. “especially when he doesn’t listen to what you wanted to try in bed— those filthy thoughts of yours that he never listened to.” 

“i think about it a lot,” he hummed, his lips still fanning her ear as he spoke, “i think about those days when you overshared your thoughts and your fantasies in bed to me. and how you’d feel about him once that i fuck you the way you want to be fucked— if you’d ever think about him at all.” 

she almost whimpered at the words he let out, earning a chuckle from him as george laughed quietly. “you’re worth more than some daft bastard who wouldn’t even give in to your needs for once, darling.” 

“george…”

“hm?” he hummed again, both their bodies burning in desire, lust, and prolonged yearning as he held her closer. 

“fuck me,” she pleaded quietly, “make my body yours, george. please.”

“who am i to deny you that?” he chuckled again, nipping at her neck this time as he murmured, “don’t worry, sweetheart, i’ll make sure you’re so fucked out that you wouldn’t think of anyone but yourself and me.” 

she hadn’t expected this from george. 

she had always known that he had his mean streak, but to be on the receiving end of that behaviour was what she hadn’t expected from him. though she wasn’t sure if it was mean of him to keep her body overstimulated from the amount of times he’d given her orgasms just by finger fucking her. 

her ex hadn’t even given her any long before they’d broken up.

her legs shook violently as the room was filled with squelching noises, sobs escaping her throat while she kept her head down against the soft mattress. 

the white sheets under her contrasted with how he fucked her with his fingers. who would’ve thought that the sweetest bastard to have existed would even be this domineering in bed? 

she couldn’t even think right now; she was eager to have his cock inside her after she’d gotten a taste of it earlier. 

her pussy throbbed against his fingers as he curled them up inside her, george’s other hand holding her cheeks apart to watch her cum drip down her legs. 

“geo- ngh~ god,” she whimpered against the mattress, her head moving to the side to try and get a look at his lustful smile. he seemed to be enjoying himself, fucking her from behind like he hadn’t just given her multiple orgasms in two hours. “pleaseeee— want your cock so bad.”

“oh? you want my cock, darling?” george asked, his fingers still thrusting inside her slowly as she whined. “thought you just wanted to get off?” 

“go- no,” she cried out, her legs wriggling against his touch before she moaned at the impact of his palm against her dripping cunt.

“stop moving,” george muttered, “you’re makin’ it hard f’me.”

“george, please,” she babbled incoherently, “want your cock so bad— please, please fuck me.”

she almost cried at the feeling of emptiness when george pulled his fingers out, walking around to pull her up. 

george propped her head up against his hand, silently observing the mess that he had made of her.

she always looked so pretty without makeup, he thought to himself. yet there was a sinful part of him that loved the smudge of her mascara and lipstick after fucking her mouth and making her cry for pleasure.

she always looked pretty, but seeing her so desperate and eager to submit to him made him realize how neglected she was before. george could only pity her ex for missing out on her. 

“y’look so pretty, did you know that?” george murmured, wiping the stains off her face as he continued, “so eager to lose control of your body— did he ever make you feel like this?” 

she felt nothing but haze and happiness that she hadn’t realized he was asking a question. her head snapped when he gave her face a light slap and demanded, “answer me, princess.”

“wh- i—“ she stammered, leaving george to chuckle.

“you sound so pathetic, sweetheart,” he cooed mockingly. “you’ve always wanted to give up your control of your body and he wouldn’t give it— and now you’re so lost that you can’t even hear me. d’ya want my cock that bad?”

she nodded, the grip on her chin restraining her from showing her eagerness as she begged, “yes, yes— please. put it in my mouth— my cunt, please george.” 

she didn’t expect this from george— the way he manhandled her body like she weighed nothing as he pulled her to the edge of the bed and bent her over. she hadn’t expected him to bottom out inside her cunt in one swift move, earning a deep groan from him as he swore silently. 

buzz… buzz… buzz…

george thrusted inside of her, hearing her scream and cry for more while he slid his cock past through the sensitive spot until his tip reached her cervix. 

“oh- fuck,” george swore. “such a good fucking pussy. it’s like you’re made for me.” 

“yes, yeah- i— george, please fuck me harder,” she sobbed, her eyes shutting tight as adrenaline rushed through her body. her face flushed at the heat of their bodies as she felt his cock inside her. 

“this cunt is made for me, yeah?” george taunted her, “this is mine only?” 

“yes, i— god~ fuck— yes, it’s yours,” she moaned, “yours only.”

buzz… buzz… buzz…

george reached for her phone, too pissed off at the vibration. 

“good,” he heaved, his hips snapping against hers as she cried aloud. “because i don’t like to share what’s mine— ‘m gonna make sure you belong to me only, got that, princess?”

“yes! fuck! george,” she babbled, “hah~ ‘s yours only, i promise! wanna make you mine a- wanna be yours! god! fuck me.”

“i’m yours, sweetheart— oh fuckin’ ‘ell,” george moaned, “so tight around me. you gonna cum?” 

“yes, ‘m gonna— please cum with me, georgie,” she whined, her body slowly convulsing against him as he continued to thrust— his pace now speeding up as they both reached their highs. “gonna cum, gonna cum! ngh~ ah- hah cum with me please!” 

“let go f’me darling,” he murmured, letting out a choked sigh as his cock twitched inside of her. she let out a sigh as her body shook, whimpering quietly as she reached her orgasm. 

hearing her cry about the emptiness inside of her made george smile, pulling out slowly before gently laying her limped body down on the mattress.

she had only nodded when he pressed a kiss on her forehead and said that he’d be back with a damp towel, her eyes trained on her phone which laid on the mattress. 

funny, she thought with a puzzled look, it was on the bedside table earlier. 

she took it and saw the first text that she received.

max verstappen: already fucking your best friend after we’d broken up? 

max verstappen: i expected better from you. 

she scoffed haughtily, eyes finding george’s as he gave her a worried look. she texted her ex boyfriend back quickly.

💗: he knows more about what i want better than you did.

she then tossed her phone aside as george walked back to the bed and started helping her clean up. 

“‘m not lying you know,” she mumbled, offering george a grateful smile once he finished cleaning her up. she then said, “when i said i wanna be yours.”

“oh i know you’re not lying,” he chuckled silently, pulling the comforter over her naked body as he snuggled with her. “i also meant it when i said that i’m yours.”

it was safe to say that neither of them had expected to like each other like this, either. but it wasn’t anything that they wouldn’t welcome with open arms. 

after all, nobody knew each other as much as they did. not even her shitty world champion ex boyfriend.

♡ moony’s reminder 🅶 (general): @hiraethrhapsody @avaleineandafryingpan @topguncultleader @enhacolor @roseandtulips @woweewoowa

♡   moony’s reminder 🅴 (explicit edition): @glitterf1

[eightstarr]

✨Hello :D!! First of all love your writing so freaking much ahhhhh!!!! So I have a request for doc bbg Abs based on something that happened to me 😭💀. The other day I was washing dishes and long story short I got a pretty deep cut on two of my fingers I was bleeding lots and was scared to go to the doc but still ended up going and had to get stitches :,( so maybe could you write something along the lines of having to go to the hospital where Abs works at but maybe she’s in surgery or something and you also don’t tell her you’re there but later once you’re home she finds out you were there getting stitches and she’s mad you didn’t let her know but then like she comforts you and shit. Thank you bb!! This week has been a shitty one and sorry for oversharing lol. Also I got bit by a cat but that’s another story. ANYWAY!! Love you, you amazing human being. Espero que tu día, semana y año te vayan de maravilla ✨🫶🏼💞

baby i hope your fingers are feeling better, that sounds so scary!! i'm sorry you had a bad week and i don't think you overshared at all, pls don't worry about that! i hope you like this y espero que el resto de tu año sea muy bonito <33

୨・┈﹕✦﹕﹕✦﹕┈・୧

[diari0deglierrori]

Before I enter the mf live-blogging again, I just want to say that actually I’m feeling less and less guilty about the fact that I’m leaving this place, I’m so tired of people thinking they know certain facts about me when they actually have it all wrong

[suhkusa]

The cool air is the first thing that greets you as you walk outside. Everyone decides to hangout outside before the 11PM curfew. 

There are so many familiar faces, but at this moment you still feel alone. Some of the other managers greet you as you make your way to a lawn chair that’s set by a tree. 

Your manager friends were already mid conversation with some volleyball players when you walked outside, so you felt uncomfortable just joining in. Atsumu is also surrounded by players you’ve never met before. Plus, it was you who decided to come on this trip. He’s not responsible for you. Everyone else you just don’t know that well.

You’re shocked out of your thoughts as you become self conscious of how really alone you were, how alone you looked. On instinct, you take out your phone and begin scrolling through each app, attempting to make yourself look busy.

Asu? No, honestly things have felt a bit tense, and you don’t want to keep bothering your online friend with your troubles. Your friends? Also no, for the same reason. 

Plus, the way you were feeling was stupid, was it not? You feel so alone, yet no one is stopping you from interacting with any of these people. You have only yourself to blame. 

“What’re you doing over here?” Yet, he seems to always be there when you needed it the most. Scarily enough. 

You look up from your phone, letting a smile make its way onto your face, “Nothing, I’m just tired. Didn’t want to get FOMO though,” 

Sakusa puts another lawn chair down beside you. “I suppose,”

“They snuck in some drinks if you wanted to take shots with them,” he adds.

You let out a breathy laugh, “I’m not an alcoholic, y’know? Thanks for letting me know, though,” you finally turn off your phone and slip it into your back pocket. “To be honest, I have a headache,”

A concern looks washed over his face, “Was it because of the energy drink?”

“Oh, so that was you?” your words catch him off guard, he hesitates to say something and you laugh again, “Don’t worry, I don’t think it was that. I think it helped me stay awake this long,”

Sakusa sighs with relief, “That’s good,”

“I don’t think you’ll miss out on much if you go sleep now,” he adds, “You should catch up on the rest you didn’t get last night,”

“Ah, maybe,” your hands are fidgeting, picking at the skins near your nail bed.

“Are you alright?”

You freeze, not sure what to say. But the words unexpectedly find you and you spill.

“To be honest, I'm just overwhelmed. My anxiety has been through the roof, but I stopped my meds a long time ago. There’s been so much on my mind,”

Sakusa says nothing but nods at your words. The silence freaks you out a bit, so you keep talking.

“I feel like I have to always be happy, it’s what everyone expects of me. And I am, but sometimes I get tired. And I don’t want people to see that I’m tired,” you know you’re oversharing, and it’s random, but you can’t stop yourself, “I hate when people worry about me so it’s always easier for me to push it all down. I don’t know why recently it’s gotten harder,”

“I suppose I relate in some sense. But either way, don’t be scared to reach out, you have a lot of friends don’t you? They all care for you– from what I see, at least,” he fumbles his words a bit before continuing, “I know we’re not friends, but I’m also here if you ever need to talk,”

A small smile teases the side of your mouth, “Whaat? We’re not friends? I thought I said we were though,” you tease.

“Oh, well I mean, yeah, then,” 

You didn’t expect him to play along, to be honest. His words fluster you, and you can feel your cheeks warm. 

The cold air clashes with the warmth of your skin, it feels nice. 

“Did talking to me help at all?” Sakusa asks, and you realize this is the first time you’ve met eyes with him this whole night. 

You offer a small smile before nodding.

“I’m glad,” and for a split second you can make out a small smile on his face in the dark night. 

“I’m going to head in now, want to come with?”

Snapping out of your thoughts, you quickly nod and join him in folding the chairs. The two of you make your way into the dimly lit hallway before bidding each other soft goodnight. 

It was safe to say that you would be getting a good night’s rest. 

SECRET ALLIANCE — SPOILER WARNING

PREV | MASTERLIST | NEXT

NOTES.

y/n laid in bed for another 30 minutes as the caffeine ran it's course

last day of camp next :3

© all writings belongs to suhkusa 2024. do not repost or change.

[dira333]

No Dating Allowed - Ginjima x Chubby! Reader

Words: 6k, angst to fluff

Warning: Fatphobia but not from the Inarizaki Volleyball team - Also the boys are idiots but they're teenagers so that's to be expected.

“You’re so fat. You’re like a cow. Mooo!” You duck your head at the comment, try to let it slide off you. It still hurts, even if your face doesn’t show. Crying only eggs them on.

“You wouldn’t be so fat if you actually participated in some sports.”

“Like any Club would take them in, she’s too fat to even be a manager.”

You can barely read the words in your book now, the letters blurred by unshed tears. 

You don’t believe that what they’re saying is true. What they are saying is not true.

But it still hurts. Oh, does it hurt.

If only you could make them believe.

-

The idea is so bad you can’t believe you’re going through with it. 

It won’t change anything. 

If your classmates find out that you tried and failed, the bullying will surely get worse.

But still… what if it works out?

Your heart’s beating like a jackhammer in your chest as you approach the door of the third-year classroom. You’ve never been here before and you’re not sure how this is going to go, but you have to at least try, right?

“Can I help you?” A girl asks, her smile open and friendly.

You nod. “C-Can I… Can I talk to K-Kita-san for a… a minute?”

“Oh, sure. Stay right there… Kita-kun! There’s someone here for you.”

The decision to ask him first wasn’t made lightly. You don’t know much about Volleyball other than what you’ve seen during Gym Class. You don’t have to run around much - which you prefer - but you’re not good at jumping. But all the other Captains are way scarier than he is and when you’ve seen him around he’d always been surrounded by an air of calm indifference. If he doesn’t like you, he’ll at least be polite about it.

“Yes?” He’s tall, looming over you like an attractive shadow. You swallow thickly.

“I-I wanted to ask… if you needed… a manager? For Volleyball, I mean.”

Kita blinks.

“You’re a first-year, correct?”

You nod.

“How about we walk for a bit and talk about it?” He leads you down the hallway, away from the prying eyes of his classmates. 

You’re not sure how he does it, but you find yourself talking, explaining, rambling at times about the reasons you have to ask. But when you bite your lip in panic, clearly having overshared, he just nods and urges you to go on. 

“Practice is every day after school. When does your last bus leave?”

You look it up on your phone and he nods. 

“It might happen that we train a little longer, especially the twins. Don’t let them rope you into staying longer. If you do have to stay longer for any reason, don’t hesitate to ask any of the boys to walk you home, okay?”

“O-okay.” 

“Good. I have to get back to class now. I will see you after school. You can see if you like it and decide later.”

You nod, speechless. To say that this has gone better than expected would have been an understatement.

-

No one saw you change into your gym clothes in the bathroom and you’re thankful for that. 

You’re not ready to let anyone from your class know you’re doing this, if ever.

Maybe that’s a bad idea, maybe that would make them see you differently, but with how things are going right now they might just use it as another way to bully you.

It’s so weird to approach the Gym alone. No one’s waiting outside and you panic a little.

Did you get the time wrong? But Kita said after school, right?

You rush to the door to find him in there with three other boys, all of them taller than you.

A dark-skinned boy spots you first.

“Hey!” He waves at you. “I’m Aran Ojiro. You must be the one who’s trying out for manager.”

You swallow hard. This is a try-out? Like a test? What if you fail?

As if reading your thoughts another boy steps forward, his face serious but his words kind.

“Don’t worry too much. Since you’re going to spend a lot of time with us we have to make sure you’ll feel comfortable doing so. You can try out what it would be like.”

“He’s Ōmimi, I’m Akagi,” the last one steps forward, shaking your hand eagerly, “It would be so cool to have a manager again and a cute one too!”

You shy away from his touch and step closer to Kita who simply nods in greeting.

“Aran will show you around and explain the basics to you. As soon as the whole team is here you will get to know them and the official training will start.”

You nod and follow Aran who explains everything thoroughly.

“Can I ask you something?” You speak up when he shows you where the water bottles are kept and how to fill them up and wash them after use. 

“Of course.”

“Kita-san said you don’t have a manager yet. Why is that?”

“Well, Shiraishi graduated last year and after it became clear that Kita was going to become the Captain, he wanted to wait a bit before we got a new manager. I don’t know if you’re aware, but our setter is pretty popular with the girls and I guess Kita didn’t want us overrun with fangirls.”

“Why? Who is your setter?”

Aran stops and turns around. “You don’t know?”

You shake your head, already panicking. Should you know?

“Oh, Samu’s going to love this. Well, we’re finished here anyway, so let's go meet the rest of the team. Just a fair warning, they are a rather rowdy bunch.”

But as you step back into the Gym, the boys are sitting on the floor, quiet like mice. 

Kita’s standing next to what must be the trainer and waves you over.

“I’m Kurosu Norimune, First Coach.” He shakes your hand with a smile as you whisper your name before he turns around and announces it loudly to the students.

Some of them nod and at least Aran and Akagi smile up at you. 

A boy with light brown, messy hair looks up at you with wide eyes and you wonder what’s so surprising about you. Is it your height, or lack thereof, or your weight? 

You swallow thickly and miss at least half of the introduction.

And after that, everything comes to life.

“Hi, I’m Ginjima,” his eyes are still wide, but he’s smiling, a light blush adorning his face. You take a step back and his brows furrow. “I didn’t want to scare you, I just wanted to ask if you want to help me get the ball cart in? That’s usually my job.”

“Oh, of course.” You nod and trod along, trying not to lose him in the bustle of boys running around, setting everything up.

A few minutes later you’re standing on the side and watching, trying to gather their names from when Coach is shouting at them.

“Stop playing around, Atsumu!” That’s the guy with blond hair.

“Osamu! That was also meant for you!” He’s got grey hair.

“You could have gotten that, Suna!” This one turns and looks over as if you’d said it instead of Coach. He looks tired, but at the same time, a little… mean?

-

Too soon it’s break time and they all gather around you, pulling water bottles from your hands.

“Hey, I know you!” You blink up at the guy but you can’t really place his face. “You’re in Class 5, right? I’m Riseki!” He holds out your hand like he wants a high five and you cautiously tap his hand, not sure if that’s what you’re supposed to do.

“You’re cute,” he says, grinning from one ear to the other. Ginjima clears his throat pointedly next to him and your eyes drop back to the floor and all the water bottles you still need to pass around. Right. Work.

As it turns out, being a manager is a lot more work than you thought it would be. But it’s also a lot less hard than your classmates made it look like. You could totally do this every day. And why shouldn’t you, if they let you? You usually don’t like the books Literature Club reads together and you’re handwriting is too awful for that Club.

“What do you think?” Kita asks as he shows you how to disinfect the Volleyball’s one after the other. “Do you want to continue?”

“If I’m allowed to?”

He smiles and you can’t help but smile back.

If you’d get to have an older brother, you’d want him to be like Kita.

- - - xxx - - -

Droplets of water run down his back. It tickles, but he cannot focus on that right now.

“Are you sure Kita said that?” Ginjima asks again, hands practically folded in front of him.

“Absolutely positive,” Akagi confirms, “As soon as she was out of sight, he told us that no one was going to be allowed to ask her out. I mean, he said that we couldn’t make her uncomfortable by any means, but you know Kita, that’s what he meant.”

“Yeah, but he didn’t say it like that.” Tsumu declares pointedly, slinging a sweaty arm around Ginjima’s shoulders. “And you’ve seen our dear Ginjima. He’s fallen for her, he’s a lost cause already.”

“Ah, shaddap.” He throws him off, but Samu’s already there. “Hi, I’m Ginjima!” he teases, voice high. They all laugh, but Ginjima can’t help that he’s blushing. Again.

-

“I want to make clear,” Kita starts the next time they’re all at the Gym, no sight of you, “That no one is going to ask our new Manager out. I am aware that this affects your private life outside of Volleyball, but we don’t want to make her uncomfortable. If you cannot focus on anything but her, you have nothing to do in this team anyway.”

Suna whistles low through his teeth. “Damn, do you want her for yourself?”

Kita stares at him instead of answering and Ginjima swallows thickly, pulling his head in. So much for a chance at love.

-

But still, he can’t help himself. 

Just because he cannot ask you out doesn’t mean he can help you, right? Get to make you smile or even laugh, maybe?

“Here, let me help.” He’s got an eye out for you, making sure you don’t overdo it. “That’s too heavy for you anyway.”

“I’m stronger than I look.” You protest and he has to force himself to look away when you flex your arms. He’s a little jealous and a little thankful that he’s not seen you in your uniform yet. He’s not sure what he’ll do if he does. Probably have a spontaneous heart attack.

- - - xxx - - -

“Where are you going?” You freeze, even though you shouldn’t. 

“To my Club,” you say, your voice barely above a whisper.

“What Club? Who’s accepting Fatties?”

You swallow harshly, grab your bag and leave, hoping you can outrun them. 

They don’t bother to follow but you know this isn’t going to be over soon.

But just for a little longer you want to have this for yourself, just be happy with how things are. 

The boys are nice, Kita-san especially. He never gets mean and even when you get something wrong he just explains it calmly to you.

“We use this for disinfecting. You won’t get the same result otherwise.”

Aran’s super nice too, patting your head every time he walks past you like he’s blessing you. He doesn’t mind when you ask questions about Volleyball even though he’s probably explained most of it twice.

“Got that now? No. No problem at all. Maybe it’s easier if you picture the people. Kosaku and Riseki for example, are pinch-servers. Do you remember what that position means?”

Riseki, funnily enough, always asks you for help.

“Did you go over the math lessons already? You did? Sweet! Can you help me with them after training? We can do it here if you want. Kita doesn’t mind when we do our homework in here as long as we don’t disturb the others.”

Then there’s Ōmimi with his serious face who likes to trade books with you and Akagi who’s a bit too loud for your taste but always greets you with a joke.

“Where do the cows go to have fun? The Moovies!”

The second years, though you find the most difficult to work with.

The twins are loud and rowdy and Suna always gets this scary look on his face when he gets quiet. Ginjima always wants to talk to you and you don’t know why and Kosaku doesn’t talk at all.

You prefer to stick with the third years where you can and the first years when they call for you. No one from the Club is in your Class but just because you’ve made it one month doesn’t mean you will make it forever.

Eventually, you’ll be found out.

-

“Where are you going?” 

You try to dash away but this time you’re not fast enough. You hear fabric rip, feel the rush of air around your legs as your skirt drops to the floor. 

Laughter rings out in the mostly empty classroom as you gather the remnants of your uniform around you, leaving with tears streaming down your face.

You won’t be late, you promise yourself, even if you have to explain to your parents later why you need yet another expensive garment. You won’t be late, even if you have to wash your eyes with cold water in the bathroom to make sure you’re not found out.

“You okay? Your eyes are kinda red,” Ginjima points out the second you step into the Gym.

You nod and the lump in your throat makes your voice sound nasally.

“I’m fine. Just allergies.”

“Are you sure? If you’re sick you should go home and rest,” Kita had been in earshot, it seems. You shake your head. Home is the last place you want to be right now. 

“It’s fine, I was just… my eyes were tearing up a lot.”

Kita doesn’t look convinced. He turns to the boys. “Start training. I’ll be back soon.”

Without another comment he grabs you by the arm and gently drags you outside.

“I’m really fine,” you insist once you’re outside and you can trust your voice again. “It’s just allergies.”

“You don’t get allergies from one day to the other. You can tell me what’s wrong. No one’s listening in.”

Fresh tears fall. “My skirt ripped.”

“Oh.” A pause. “That’s unfortunate. Can I see it?”

You freeze, shoulders pulled up. “What?”

“Can I see your skirt? I’m not that good at sewing, but Kosaku is. Maybe we can do something about it.”

He inspects the garment for a second before he tells you to wait here. When he comes back, he’s got Kosaku in tow who looks not the least bit confused.

“Oh yeah,” Kosaku inspects your skirt as well. “That’s an easy fix. I can mend this after practice if you want.”

“You can?”

“Of course.” He sounds a little displeased that you’re questioning his abilities and you bow, immediately apologizing.

“It’s fine. You can buy me some snacks as a thank you… Or not, nothing’s fine too.” He adds hurriedly but when you look up nothing’s amiss. 

“Are you sure? I could bake something.”

“Only if it’s not too much trouble for you. I think all of the boys have a sweet tooth, so I wouldn’t be able to hold onto it for long.”

“They do?”

“Oh yeah. Especially Samu. Though to be fair, he devours everything edible.”

-

You’ve learned your lesson. You’re the first out of class and the last to step in. 

Still you know you won’t be able to get away forever.

But you will enjoy it as long as it lasts.

“I made something,” you exclaim when it’s time for the first real break. You pull the large container from your bag and prop it up, open it to reveal a small mountain of sugar cookies. They’re not in season, but they’re easy to make.

Just as Kosaku predicted, Osamu’s the first to grab one. His face lights up like firework as he tastes it.

“Hey, leave me some!” Atsumu pushes him to the side and you flinch.

“Behave!” Ginjima crows and half of the team turns to look at him, his face turning almost as red as the Inarizaki tie. “We don’t want crumbs in the Gym,” he tries to explain. You offer the box to him next and his hands shake funny when he takes a cookie. 

Maybe he’s just as anxious as you are, you think and send him a small smile. It only deepens the red on his face and you turn back, glad to see Aran approaching. Aran is safe.

- - - xxx - - -

“Does anyone know how we got her to make cookies?” Samu asks, licking the last remnants of his fingers. 

Ginjima listens only with half an ear. You’re sitting on the other side of the large Gym, head bent over Riseki’s books as you explain something.

Why are you just so cute??? “I told her we all like sweets,” Kosaku explains simply.

“And she brought in sweets?” Suna’s voice is teasing enough to gather Ginjima’s whole focus.

“What are you saying?” He asks, voice skipping an octave.

“What do you think I’m saying?” Suna asks back.

“It’s just cookies,” Tsumu argues, clearly annoyed, “Can we get over it and start playing again? I’m getting bored over here.”

-

“Ginjima?” Kita’s voice cuts through the noise and he turns, half expecting a stern reprimand.

Instead, his captain stands stiff like a board, waving for him to come over. Next to him: You, head bowed.

He rushes over, heart thundering ahead.

“Yes, Captain?”

“Our dear manager isn’t feeling well. I trust you to walk her to the bus station.”

“Of course!” His heart beats in his throat now, but at least he managed to get that out. “Can I carry your stuff for you? That’s absolutely no problem!”

“I’m fine,” you whisper, but when Kita clears his throat pointedly you relinquish your bag to him 

Ginjima makes sure to handle it with the utmost care, trying not to smile too brightly as he walks you out. Kita chose him for this job!

“Do you have a cold?” He asks as you walk. “Tsumu had it last week.”

“No, I don’t have a cold.” Your hands press against your stomach.

“Oh, a stomach bug then? Did you have the curry too today? I heard it wasn’t very good.”

“No… No, I didn’t.”

“Oh, what is it then? Do you have diarrhea?”

Your face pales and he goes almost cross-eyed looking for a trashcan to puke into. Instead, he finds a girl who’s pointing… at you.

“Are you for real?” She asks, voice shrill. “You’re a manager?”

“Who are you?” Ginjima asks, already pissed at the way she asked. 

“Who are you?” She asks back. “And what lame kind of sport do you do that you allow Fatty over here to join?”

“What the hell-” He starts, hands balled to fists. “Who do you think you are?!”

She scoffs. “Like you need to know that, loser. Bye Fatty. I’ll see you.” She laughs and runs off and Ginjima has to grind his teeth to keep where he is instead of running after her.

After all, you’re still sick and Kita entrusted you to him!

“Are you okay?” He asks, turning back to you. “Do you know who that bitch is?”

You gasp.

“What?” He asks. “Like she didn’t deserve that title! You’re not fat. My uncle is fat but even if you were that’s no way to talk about you like that! She needs a good beating if you ask me.”

You look up at him, eyes welled up with tears. Your mouth opens and closes and he kinda has to guess what you want to know.

“My uncle?” He guess. “He’s got a disease… I can’t name it properly, but when he was my age he couldn’t move at all because of it and he got so depressed only food gave him a source of comfort. He’s a lot better now but he’s still got plenty of weight. Not that that drags him down if you’ll excuse that joke.” Ginjima can’t help but smile as he thinks of Uncle Keiji.

You shake your head and sniff.

“Oh, you need a tissue?” He pats down his jacket but comes up empty. “Here,” he slips out of it, “Just wipe your nose on it, I’ll wash it today, no problem.”

That’s when you start laughing, his jacket clutched in your hands.

He laughs along, a little confused, but hey, he got you cheered up again.

-

You don’t look up when the door opens. But the rest of your class does.

“It’s Miya Atsumu!” One of the girls whispers, clearly shocked.

“And his twin!” Someone else mutters equally impressed.

Ginjima leans around them and finds you easily, head bowed over a Bento Box.

“Hey!” He calls out to you. “You coming? We’re going up to the roof to eat.”

Your mouth opens and closes like a fish.

“Come on,” Suna’s voice drawls out lazily, “We don’t have all day.” 

You nod, clearly confused, and grab your stuff, rush toward them.

“Who did you say was that bitch again,” Atsumu asks just as you’re a few steps from the door. 

Ginjima pokes his head in again and smiles at the girl in question, baring his teeth. 

“If you guys mess with our manager again,” Samu declares calmly, inspecting his fingernails, “Getting banned from our games will be the least of our problems. Are we clear?”

- - - xxx - - -

“Thank you for taking the time,” Kita closes the door behind him and smiles. The little storage room is cramped but filled with light from the evening sun.

“You wanted to talk to me?” You ask, hands fiddling. You haven’t lost your anxious ticks even after all these months.

“I’m resigning today,” he explains calmly. “It’s time to graduate. I thought Atsumu would be a good Captain. What do you think?”

You blink away a stubborn tear that won’t stay inside.

“He’ll need a little help,” you sniff, working against the lump in your throat. “But I’m sure he will do great.”

“You’ll help him, right?”

You nod, swallowing thickly. Kita’s warm hands land on your shoulders.

“Do you have any plans for the break?”

“No, not really.”

“Would you like to stay with us for those few weeks?”

You freeze. 

“Are you… are you sure?”

“Yes. Granny would love you. I’m sure your parents won’t mind and you can help me with the harvest if you want. Or stay inside and help Granny with the house.”

Silence enfolds between you. 

Eventually, with the warmest voice you’ve ever heard from him, he says “I’ve never had a little sister, but if I did… I’d want her to be like you.”

-

Ginjima’s eyes zero in on yours - surely red rimmed from all the bittersweet tears - but he doesn’t say anything. 

Not long and Tsumu’s crying too, wiping his nose on his sleeve as Osamu blinks up into the sun, acting like he doesn’t care at all - the liar.

It’s hard, saying goodbye to the third years.

It will be different with them there, Aran’s daily blessings and Ōmimi’s book recommendations, Akagi’s silly jokes, and Kita’s calmness. 

It will be different, but it won’t be bad. Not with all your friends around you.

“I entrust this Club to you,” Kita reminds Tsumu again as he leaves. “Every member and our shared goal. And don’t forget our dear manager.”

-

“What are you doing over the break?” Ginjima asks later as you wait for the bus.

Your hands fold around the seam of your skirt and you pinch it as if you remind yourself that this is real.

“I’m staying with Kita,” you tell him proudly, “He asked me to come.”

“Oh,” he makes and falls quiet.

“And you?”

“Training, I guess.” He pulls his shoulders up. “Text me when you get back, okay?”

“Okay.”

- - - xxx - - -

Another graduation comes much too soon. 

Riseki’s crying this time, the captain’s title heavy on his shoulders.

“Ah, like you’d forget us,” Tsumu says but his voice is heavy with emotion.

Samu’s looking up and squinting into the sun, one of his eyes impressively bruised to match Tsumu. They’ve gotten into a fight this week and even though they refused to talk about it, everyone knows what it’s about.

-

“You coming in tomorrow?” Ginjima asks as he walks you home, the last bus long gone.

“For your graduation? Like I’d miss that.”

He smiles, fiddling something between his hands.

“You know, about that tradition… the second button… Did you get one so far?”

You laugh. “A second button? No way I’d get one.”

“But would you want one?”

You blink up at him. “Why would I want one?”

“Ah,” he smiles, “Just asking. Don’t all girls want one?”

“I dunno. Depends on the boy, I guess. Would you want one? From a girl, I mean?”

He blushes furiously and you snicker, digging your elbow into his side.

“Come on, tell me. Who is it you like?”

His smile turns pained and you step away. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to push you. It’s your decision to tell me.”

“Thank you. Though, I guess…” He holds out his hand. In it lies a button. “I think I should give it to you. For safekeeping, you know.”

“You don’t think she’ll accept it?”

“Doesn’t matter,” he tells you, voice strained, “I’m not allowed to date her anyway.”

“Oh, that sucks.” You pick the button from his hands and hold it up to the light. “But if you entrust me with it I will keep it safe until it changes. Would that be okay?”

He nods, redfaced, clearly unable to speak. 

You tap his elbow with yours and walk on, slowly. 

“Did I tell you about my summer plans?” You ask. “Kita got me a job at an accounting firm in Osaka. It’s nothing much but he thinks I might like it. What are your plans?”

-

Your hand is on Riseki’s shoulder and you’re crying along. 

It’s different when you’re the one who’s leaving. Fresh-faced first-years look back at you. The second years mourn the games they could have played - lost to Karasuno yet again. 

A new manager will help them go on and though you doubt the friendship will stay beyond these gym doors, you’ve burned her kindness into your heart.

“And don’t forget,” Riseki reminds them one last time, “Kita-san’s rule! Do not date the manager!”

You stop and turn, the tears forgotten for a moment.

“What?” You ask, not unlike a few of the boys who’ve been eyeing sweet Oyama for the better part of last year.

Riseki stumbles, clearly confused by the question.

“Yeah, he told us when you came in. It was very important to him so it must be important for the team. Keep that in mind, will you!”

They agree, some more, some less eager. 

You resolve to ask Kita about it the next chance you get. After all he promised to come in tomorrow for your graduation.

- - - xxx - - -

“Ginjima!” You hug him, tears streaming from your eyes. “You came? What a surprise!”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world!” He says, proud that it succeeded. “The rest of the gang is also here!”

“Heeeyy!” Suna waves lazily. There’s also Tsumu and Samu, fighting over a Bento Box like in the good old days, and Aran who’s blessing you with one of his well-missed head pats. 

Akagi drags Ōmimi and Kosaku over and for a moment, too short but still so precious, it feels like nothing changed.

“These are my parents!” You introduce them, grinning from one ear to the other. “Do you mind if I go out to eat with the boys?”

The boys. Ginjima’s heart sinks and lifts at the same time. He’s nothing but one of the boys.

Not like Kita who addresses your parents by first name.

But, he thinks when you fall into step with him, whispering how you’ve still got that second button if he needs it, not all hope is lost, right?

-

“Sit next to me,” he asks when you find chairs at the Izakaya. Half the team grins knowingly but you still don’t get it.

“No, no, I insist,” He pushes your hand back when you try to pay for your food. “It’s on me.”

“Let me walk you home, please.” He asks when they gather outside. 

Tomorrow he’s going to be back in Osaka where his job waits for him. 

Tomorrow you’ll be nothing but a too vivid memory of something that never got to be real.

Tonight you’re the prettiest thing he’s ever laid his eyes on.

“Sure,” you say, waving at the others, promises of meeting up soon hanging in the air. It’s been a year. It never gets easier.

But still, he leaves without a kiss, without a confession, without anything that means anything.

Because he can see it in your eyes, wide and warm and lovely, that you don’t get it. Maybe you never will.

But that’s okay. Or at least it will be okay someday.

- - - xxx - - -

“So you’re staying?” Samu asks as he plates the food. “For real?”

“For real!” You agree, breaking apart the chopsticks. “What should I try first?” 

“Whatever you want. Everything’s good.”

“Wow, what about being humble?” You ask, digging in.

He laughs. “When have I ever been humble?”

“A lot,” you point out, mouth full. “Gosh this is good. Tsumu was always more arrogant.”

“True,” he jokes. “Have you seen him lately?”

You shake your head. 

“Suna? Aran? No wait, Kita.”

You snort. “I see Kita at least once a month. That’s not news.”

“Ah yes, Kita, the love of your life.” Samu swoons, clutching his chest. You furrow your brows.

“What do you mean?”

“What?” Samu grins. “You’ve been a thing since when, his graduation?”

You choke on a bit of Onigiri. “What?! No! EW!”

“What?” Samu laughs disbelievingly. “I mean Ginjima told me you went to his place for the break. That’s kinda like making it official.”

“NO!” You belt out, horrified. “That’s what you all thought? But I was… But he is… We’ve always been more like brother and sister.”

Samu shrugs. “I mean he never seemed to mind that Ginjima was head over heels for you, so I didn’t bother-”

Your jaw slackens. “What?” You ask, voice breaking. “Ginjima was what?”

Samu halts, bottle of soy sauce in his hands.

“Don’t tell me you didn’t know.”

“How would I know?”

“How would you not?! He’s got a crush on you since the day you started! Kita made it very clear though that no one was allowed to ask you out and Suna thought it was because he called dibs on you… Are you okay?”

You shake your head.

If he’d pulled the floor from under your feet you couldn’t have been more at a loss.

“Oh my god. I still have his second button.”

“Who’s?” Samu asks, taking a piece of Nigiri Sushi from your plate and popping it into his mouth. 

“Ginjima’s.”

“Damn. That guy was bold. I mean I was never fully sure you were dating Kita after all, but at least Ginjima was convinced that you liked him more than him.”

“As a brother, maybe.” You huff, heart beating. Everything looks different now, looking back, with that information in mind.

“You need Sake?” Samu asks, voice comforting. “Or Soju?”

-

Sleep isn’t coming to you these days.

Kita’s explanations made sense - you had been afraid of everyone breathing back then, scared shitless every time someone other than him or Aran tried to speak to you - and you couldn’t hold it against him that he tried to protect you.

You’d have to talk to their current Captain though, to make sure that ridiculous rule wasn’t still in use.

You’d have to talk to Ginjima too at one point. But you don’t know what to say yet.

If you think of him now, all the moments you’ve been through together, the little things stand out so much more.

How he’d always been so eager to help, always wanting to talk.

How often he blushed around you. 

How he defended you, told the other second years - no doubt that whole plan had been his idea. 

You can’t think about all those quiet walks home, side by side yet barely touching, how he asked about your day and told you of his, without curling into a ball, warmth filling you to the point of overflowing.

If Kita’s the warmth of a fireplace in winter, a spot to stay safe and comforted, Ginjima is the warmth of the spring sun, guiding you outside. He’s the bright blue sky on summer days that makes you want to stay awake forever.

And every night, without fail, you pull his second button from its safe place and rest it where it had been on his blazer, on the place closest to your heart.

-

Ginjima works as a Gym Instructor now, not far from where you work.

Twice you’ve walked by and chickened out. You’re not sure you’ll be more successful today.

This time, though, you spot him through the tall windows. 

He looks just like the last time you were a team, a towel slung around his shoulders.

It’s that sight that gives you the push you need and you step into the Gym, heart beating in your throat.

He turns and spots you, surprise widening his face. It reminds you of the first time you’ve met and your heart beats even faster.

“Hey!” He rushes over, almost tripping over a weight. “What brings you here.”

“I have something for you.” You stretch out your hand.

Ginjima stops and stares.

“I…” He starts, face split between confusion and pain he’s trying to hide. “I don’t understand.”

“It’s mine,” you explain nervously. “Samu told me… That you had a crush on me.”

“What?” He blushes furiously. “He told you what?”

“And that everyone thought I was dating Kita. We’re just... We’re just friends. Like brother and sister, actually. I didn’t know… I didn’t know you liked me,” your voice is getting lower but his eyes are wide.

“How could I not like you? You’re literally perfect!” He shouts and from somewhere behind him you can hear a voice shushing him.

You snort and he laughs, flustered, hand moving to take yours - and the button.

“And the No Date Rule?” Ginjima asks as if he’d only just remembered it.

“Officially no longer valid.”

- - - xxx - - -

“Lovebirds are in!” Tsumu declares loudly from the bar as the door opens. Ginjima shoots his cap at him, whistling in victory when he hits him square in the head.

“Don’t fight,” you chide behind him, your hand in his. “Are we late?”

“Nah,” Riseki waves from the other side, “Like you’d ever be. Ginjima should be glad to have you.”

“I am!” He declares. “Who’s questioning it?!”

“No one,” Kosaku drawls, hugging you as he moves toward the bathroom. But have some mercy on the single guys.”

“Hey, I could have a girlfriend if I wanted to!” Tsumu points out, followed by laughter.

On nights like this, when they all get together to watch one of them on TV - today it’s Aran - things hardly ever calm down.

But he wouldn’t change this for the world, not even when he has to work a shift tomorrow.

It reminds him of being young and a fool like he’s got nothing to lose and yet so much to fight for.

And when you curl into his side on the Couch, cheer him on when he manages to eat his bowl of soup faster than Tsumu, or defend him against Suna’s jabs he knows that nothing much has changed.

He’s still a fool in love.

My Kofi if you want to tip me

[fantasylandloser]

The Voices

Pairing: bestfriend! Rafe x Reader

Word Counts: 2.9K

Warning: depictions of drugs, mean parents, Flashbacks but Reader and Rafe are 19, mentions of Rehab, mentions of voices, very soft unrealistic Rafe, also slight rizz using aforementioned voices

****

Rafe Cameron had been your best friend for eight years. You had hated him at one point of course because if a person only saw Rafe’s exterior behavior then their first thought should be hate. But when you were nine, at the Cameron house playing with Sarah while your dads did whatever, you found Rafe in a corner just staring at the wall.

You found this unusual because nobody had put Rafe in the corner, and you weren’t sure why he was just sitting there. So you, being naturally curious, asked him. He flinched at the sound of your voice, so focused on the wall that he didn’t hear your footsteps approach. 

“It’s supposed to help me.” He tells you without turning. 

“Help you, what?” You went to sit beside him seeing if it would help you too. 

Rafe shrugged, looking around to see if his dad was near. “All the voices, my dad says I’m not supposed to talk about it or they’ll take me away.”

“Who’s they?” You wonder who would take such a young boy away from home  over something like that.

Rafe looks confused for a second before answering. “He never told me.”

“Oh. Well what do the voices say to you?” The boy freezes entirely, silenced by the question that his father never bothered to ask. 

“I can’t tell you... But they’re quiet now that you’re talking. I think they like listening to you.”

“Hmm… your voices are different from my dad’s voice. Because my dad says I talk too much.” You tell him, unaware of your oversharing.

Rafe frowns but then he has an idea. “Well how about we make a deal? Like businessmen do.”

“And women.” You add. “What kind of deal?”

“You can talk to me whenever you want. I’ll listen and so will the voices.”

You liked his deal and the two of you shook on it. 

Rafe found out very quickly that you were chatty and he’d  grown to appreciate it. Even as years went by and you grew shyer with age you always would talk to him. Into your teenage years the two of you didn’t really talk about the fact that Rafe had other voices in his head that weren’t his. But every once in a while Rafe would make a decision that you knew wasn’t his own and you’d have to bring it up.

Like on Rafe’s seventeenth birthday, and his other friends had been doing drugs. You never really thought you would have to worry about him doing drugs until one of his friends called him names until he did. 

You never knew Rafe to be the type to succumb to peer pressure. When puberty hit, he got taller and his voice was deeper and even though he was a little scrawny he could still protect himself if he needed to so you weren’t sure why. You didn’t know back then how he wished he fit in and felt inferior, because on the outside he did fit in.

So, when you pulled him to the side and asked him why he was doing that, and if it was the voices.  For the first time in eight years, he told you to shut up. 

It really shouldn’t have upset you like it did, but for some reason, probably your dad’s voice in the back of your head telling you to ‘sit pretty and be quiet’ it did and you felt tears begin to weigh down your eyelashes. And even though you loved to chat, you were never one for arguing. And the only time you were silent with Rafe was when your feelings were hurt. 

You had disappeared after that. Your other friends noticed your silence, the way that you weren’t really present any more and they were worried. But you were gone, reserved only for your thoughts and seeming more absent than ever.

Rafe felt your absence more than anyone. But he also found a new way to quiet the voices, even the ones that talked about you.

So, Rafe did a lot of coke that year, and more than he liked to admit he watched you. Without him he realized that you were so much better off. After a while of you not really being yourself, you started to make friends. You stepped out of your comfort zone, did so much that you told Rafe made you nervous, that Rafe started to think he was holding you back. So he kept his distance. 

****

Two years later

Rafe had heard you returned from college for the summer and he’d been doing his best to avoid you. He had done so successfully until one particular party. 

He had been planning to leave after he realized that these weren’t necessarily fun for him unless he did a shit ton of coke, and after just getting out of stint in rehab he really didn’t think it was worth it.

That was until, on his way out he saw you at the door. You definitely looked different than you did at seventeen. Still beautiful of course, but more confident. And he could tell you were because you were dressed like you knew it. 

The last time Rafe saw you dressed so revealingly was when you were fourteen and your mom forced you to wear a bathing suit and you cried for an hour, while he tried to convince you it was no big deal. But you were definitely not fourteen years old anymore. And definitely not that same crying little girl. 

Rafe didn’t realize he was staring until you locked eyes with him. He didn’t expect you to walk towards him, leaving your friends at the door. Nor did he expect you to smile when you spoke. A dazzling smile, too.

“Hi Rafe. How are you?” Your question sounded foreign on your lips but he realized it was because you always used to know how he was doing. Rafe tripped over his own thoughts before answering you.

“I’m good.” Rafe found himself feeling shy. He wasn’t used to this feeling and it seemed to limit his vocabulary.

“That’s..good” You chuckle feeling the awkward silence settle around the two of you. “Well I didn’t wanna bother you, so I’ll see you around.” And just like that you were gone again, before Rafe could find another way to make this conversation more awkward.

He couldn’t help but feel embarrassed at the way he acted in that conversation, but he figured that if he was lucky enough he wouldn’t see you again and wouldn’t be able to make a fool of himself again. 

His luck lasted about two days, until he saw you at the golf course with your dad. If he were alone, then like a normal person trying to avoid an awkward situation he would have left, but he was with his dad who spotted you two seconds after he did and seemed to have forgotten that last he heard about it, you and Rafe were no longer friends.

“Cupcake!” Ward called to you after greeting your Dad, whom he was good friends with. Rafe couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the childhood nickname of yours, given to you because of your sweet tooth and ability to consume a cupcake in two seconds. 

“Hi Mr, Cameron!” You greet giving him a quick hug. 

“Oh my goodness!” Ward exclaimed. “You’re gonna give me a heart attack, you’re all grown up young lady.” Rafe found himself rolling his eyes again, even though when he first saw you again he internally had the same reaction. While you were preoccupied with his dad Rafe couldn’t help but give you a once over. Noticing immediately how short your golfing skirt was, and how pretty you looked in the sun.

Rafe had zoned out as he stared at you. Not listening to the conversation you were having with his dad about school, but instead his gaze lingered on the smoothness of your legs and the small tattoo on the inside of your wrist that he hadn’t noticed at the party.

“Don’t let her talk your head off Ward. We’ll be here all day.” Your dad says chuckling at his own joke. “I swear Rafe, you’re the only one that could ever stand to hear her talk for so long.” 

Your discomfort at your Dad’s comment was immediate. Rafe noticed, and he hated how you shrunk into yourself, going back to looking small. Looking almost exactly how you did when he told you to shut up at that party a few years ago. God, he hoped he didn’t make you feel like that. 

“I consider myself lucky to know the sound of her voice. Others should feel the same.” Rafe said, only sparing you a glance long enough to see your discomfort turn into a small smile. Wars, sensing the tension that was commencing gracefully, decided that everyone should continue playing before the wind picked up.

You and Rafe spent the afternoon side by side. Few to no words exchanged, but an understanding of forgiveness settling around the two of you.

*****

After leaving the golf court Ward insisted that you and your dad come by later for dinner. You were a little nervous because you knew you’d be with Rafe alone and you weren’t sure how to prepare yourself for that. He was different from when you left for school. He used to be high all the time, and being high made him mean, and loud and irrational. You weren’t hanging out with him during that time but you did see him around, picking on people, doing dumb dangerous stunts. It was hard to see.

But now he was quieter, seemed to be kinder with the way he stood up for you, but unlike when you were friends he was calmer. Rafe used to always be fidgeting, since the day you met him he would always be moving, distracted, not really present. But the Rafe you saw today was focused, that was one thing you were sure of.

He was also muscular. The entirety of his physique seemed to have changed, with toned thighs, strong arms, and shoulders so broad that if you stood close enough to him you couldn’t see them both at once.  You honestly struggled to not check him out, repeatedly. 

You were sure that you failed however. Especially with the way that he had cut off his hair, and the timbre of his voice was now so smooth and almost soft that you almost wanted to beg him to say more than he did. 

You knew he was clean now, your dad telling you all about how he got sent to rehab a few months ago. But seeing him really did a number on everything you thought you remembered about your friendship.

When you showed up to the Cameron residence, you hadn’t been expecting Wheezie and Sarah to be waiting for you in anticipation. You hadn’t realized how much you missed them until you saw their faces. 

Wheezie asked you every question she could about your life and Sarah just wanted to know what dating in college was like. You loved answering their questions and learning about everything they had been up to while you were gone. 

You never realized Rafe was lurking at the door listening to everything you said. He never fully noticed that he creeped all the way into the room, so he could hear you better. Not until Rose came to the door telling you all to come down for dinner and everyone noticed his presence at once.

You didn’t say anything about it though just offering him a small smile and walking past him to follow Rose down the stairs. When you walked by he caught a whiff of your scent. A strong aroma of vanilla that you obviously hadn’t been able to let go of since high school.

Throughout the dinner you had been pretty quiet. Rafe wondered if you were upset about what your dad had said earlier the day, because you were pretty talkative to his sisters. Then he wondered if it was because you knew he was around now that had you so quiet.

You listened to everyone when they were talking, you were so quiet and polite that Rafe wondered if he should be worried. Or if he had the right to be worried. 

“Rafe, you should show cupcake the new boat.” Ward suggested, randomly. You almost laughed at the suddenness of it. Rafe as well. In highschool it had been no secret to the two of you that Ward thought you would make the perfect couple. You weren’t sure why he was so intent on it, but he used any instance to push the two of you together romantically, and you’re guessing since it didn’t work in highschool then he was back to his old shenanigans now that you were older. 

That’s how you ended up walking on the dock with him so late. “I see your dad still hasn’t learned how to be subtle.” You can’t help your laugh when Rafe sends you a knowing grin. “No he has not.” He agrees. 

“None of the girls you;ve been bringing home up to par, Cameron?”  You ask playfully, knowing that since you've been back there had been no shortage of girls talking about how fine Rafe was now. 

“Something like that.” Rafe grins bashfully. He stops in front of a boat that’s fancier than any other boat you’d ever seen. Offering you his hand after he steps on it. You can’t help but admire him when he isn’t paying attention. 

“God, you’re so different now.” You find yourself saying, not even referring to his looks but instead his personality. Rafe’s cheeks heat up and for a moment without thinking, he believes you’re going to point out everything that’s deficient in him.  When you notice the look on his face, you launch into explaining. 

“Not in a bad way at all. You’re just so… tame. You used to be so wired all the time, but now you’re more secure and you seem to be so much calmer. Do you feel calmer?” You ask curiously.

You don’t notice the way your eyes bore into Rafe’s as you study him. “Sometimes.” He answers, which is not really the answer you’re looking for but you don’t press for him to elaborate.

“Do you… Do you still hear the voices?” You ask, your voice a whisper now. Rafe isn’t shocked by the question, he knew that you had them.

“Sometimes.” he repeats, but it’s your turn to feel shy at the way he’s staring at you, especially when you notice that you’re still holding his hand. 

“What do they say?” Rafe looks away from you before staring back with the same intensity from before. 

He thought looking away would help the ache in his chest, but it only started to hurt for a different reason.

“They mostly just miss you.” The words render you speechless and for a moment you wonder if you’re dreaming. Until you feel his thumb tenderly rub your cheek and you realize your imagination was never big enough for you to dream that. 

“Oh.”

“Mhm” He hums, The both of you not saying a word for a minute before he’s back at it.

“You’re so pretty.” he states, and with the way he’s staring at you, you know he means it. Rafe feels like his brain has gone to mush and he’s not completely sure what happened but the filter between his brain and mouth has disappeared and he’s not really mad about it seeing the way you melt.

“Well you’ve always been pretty. I guess I’m just seeing you differently now.” But Rafe knows that's a lie because just like you’ve always been pretty, he’s always known. 

You wonder where his chattiness is coming from and you can’t help but hope it never goes away.Especially if this is how he’s gonna talk to you.

“You’re pretty too.” You mumble.

“Yeah?”  This time when Rafe’s thumb brushes across your face it’s your lips. 

“Mhm.” You hum, dazed by his closeness. 

“Can I.. kiss you?” Rafe asks, not really hesitant. But worried about where he was going with all this.

“Please do.”

When your lips collided you weren’t sure where to place your hands, until you felt his. He was everywhere. So were you.

He kissed you like he’d been waiting all ten years to do it, but you know that isn’t true because for at least four of those he was sure you had cooties.

You weren’t sure when your back hit the wall of the boat but Rafe seemed to be aware because he pulled his lips off yours like it pained him. Still caging you in, as the two of you panted against each other.

“I wasn’t supposed to do that.” Rafe says, not to you but to himself. When he sees the look on your face he’s quick to clarify. 

“I’m not supposed to be in any sort of… romantic relationship for a year out of rehab.” He feels embarrassed at his choice of wording. Wondering if he jumped the gun with his use of the words romantic, but knowing he didn’t when he sees the relief on your face. 

“That’s okay. That’s important.” You tell him.

“Mhm.” Rafe nods but you can tell he’s not really thinking. His fingers tracing the shape of your lips again, as he wipes the smeared lip gloss.

“Can I kiss you again?” He asks absentmindedly. 

“When your year is up.” Rafe sighs at your answer, his head dropping into the crook of your neck.

[fuji09]

I've seen a lot of people call Stiles an asshole and yeah he can be. I've seen people say he doesn't care about anyone unless it's the few in his friend group. I don't think that's the case. I've seen him called a bad friend and while he does have moments of not being a good friend, for the most part he is the best friend.

Stiles has a lot of trauma responses but right now I'm gonna talk about how he keeps everyone at arms length. He isn't trying to be an ass (at least not all the time), it's not that he doesn't give a shit about anyone, and it's not that he is a asshole but he acts like an asshole.

When some of us lose someone we love in a traumatic way, we don't want to feel that pain ever again. We hurt and can't handle the thought of feeling this type of pain again. I'm guilty of this.

So what does Stiles do? He keeps everyone at arms length, never lets someone completely in. Not Scott his best friend and not even his own dad. He distances himself as best as he can without seeming like that's what he's doing. He overshares and talks about anything and everything without getting too personal but no one notices because what he does say is loud.

He's sarcastic and jokes about everything. He insults and treats people like they are stupid. Does he mean it? Not always, probably sometimes. He tends to be all talk, unless it's something incredibly important. He will say every man for himself but he never means it. He acts like people are disposable but he doesn't mean it.

That boy is afraid to get too close to anyone so he hides parts of himself from everyone, even his own dad. He's paranoid about his dad dying but he still doesn't let his dad in completely.

He can seem cold, but he has a warm heart, he can be blunt, but he also knows that sometimes he can't be. He does make mistakes, we all do. Stiles does his hardest to prevent people from worrying about himself, while he worries about his friends.

Not everything he says or does is logical. Trauma responses aren't logical but they sure seem like they are.

But yeah those are my thoughts on Stiles and his trauma response.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I reported my coworker to HR again, potentially getting him in big trouble or even let go?

Content warning for sexual assault mention.

I (21m) love most of my coworkers. They’re one of the best parts of my job. There are a few exceptions, one of which being J (40m). J has a reeeeally bad oversharing issue. He’s going through a divorce and has a number of other issues happening that he is constantly trying to talk to me and others about. Some of my other coworkers went to HR about it a while ago and they talked to him and told him him to stop. That helped for a while but the effect seems to have worn off. His favorite person to talk to is me. If I see him I can be certain he’s gonna have some complaint for me. He loves to complain about the job too, like every task they give him is the end of the world. I could probably just ignore it however I have PTSD relating to past sexual assault. Some of the things he talks about (in particular details of his divorce) are trigger for me. I’m also a trainer so I’m working with the new people a lot and I can see how uncomfortable J makes them. And I know more other coworkers hate it too. I feel like the obvious solution would be to go to HR and report him again. However since this would be a repeat offense and he kinda sucks at his job I’m worried that it could get him in serious trouble this time. They could reduce his hours more than they already have or even let him go. I know he’s in a lot of financial trouble in addition to his other personal issues. Therefore I’m worried it would be a big asshole move to report him again instead of just avoiding him best I can. As far as I know no one else has brought it up to HR again.

What are these acronyms?

[book-girl4evaaa]

╰┈➤ ❝STEP INTO MY CANDY STORE ❞ ˚ ☽˚ ｡⋆.

(Aka my 250 follower event!)

Gjdgdgkkddykh 250 people like me? This is wild! I love you all so much, you guys are awesome and you are like my best friends, thank you so so much <3

Here's my intro for the newbies

Anyways onto the event!

Hey new kid, greetings and salutations! Welcome to Westerberg High: the only high school on the planet that might literally have you dead before the second semester. The school where teen angst bs usually has a bodycount.

Yeah, this place is... A lot. Parties, hallway fights, lots of gossip and a little murder. I guess everyone here is a little damaged.

But, worry not, newbie, I've summoned my best friends and/or worst enemies (same difference!) to help you around this little thunderdome of a school.

Good luck! You'll probably need it...

Rules: 1 request per ask (although send as many asks as you want), and if an option has a "☽˚｡⋆." next to it, it's mutuals only! Also I'm quite slow at answering, sorry!

(Also the quotes are from memory so they might be a bit off lol)

╰┈➤ Veronica Sawyer

But I know, I know, I know / life can be beautiful / I pray, I pray, I pray / for a better way

Veronica knows a lot about this school, from whatever your angle

I'll give you some advice: you can give me a specific thing, or I'll just do something general stuff

╰┈➤ Heather Chandler ˚ ☽˚ ｡⋆.

I'd normally slap your face off / And everyone here could watch / But I'm feeling nice / Here's some advice / Listen up beeyotch

Heather Chandler has the whole school in the palm of her hand, and dresses like it

I'll pick you an outfit from Pinterest!

╰┈➤ Heather Duke

It's my turn / It's my prize / I spit lightning / Crack, boom!

Heather Duke is dangerously confident when given the chance

I'll give you a pep talk, either general or about something specific, and give you an inspirational quote

╰┈➤ Heather McNamara ˚ ☽˚ ｡⋆.

And I'm like, "damnit, I'm on the stupid bus again because all my rides to school are dead!"

Heather McNamara is a sweetheart, and can overshare

Ask me any question and I will answer

╰┈➤ Jason Dean ˚ ☽˚ ｡⋆.

We can start and finish wars / we're what killed the dinosaurs / we're the asteroid that's overdue

Jason Dean likes murder and poetry

I'll write you a poem (please give me a topic)

╰┈➤ Martha Dunnstock

What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending

Martha loves stories, and has a huge heart

I'll give you an extract of one of my many wips :)

╰┈➤ Ram and Kurt ˚ ☽˚ ｡⋆.

"Did you actually just speak to me?" "My buddy Kurt just asked you a question." *Grunts of respect*

Kurt and Ram are inseparable

I'll assign you a book or character (please specify which you want)

Well pick wisely, new kid, if you want to make it through the year. But I hope things work out for you. If you need a hand anytime, call me; maybe we could grab a slushie.

Oh and by the way, me and the group are going for a movie night tonight, watching the princess bride. Stop by if you want...

And who knows? Maybe, this year, our school could finally be beautiful.

.⋆｡˚☾˚ We can be seventeen

We can learn how to chill

If no one loves me now

One day somebody will ˚ ☽˚ ｡⋆.